#Phil Proctor

[local-blog-for-local-people]

[hitreasures]

Have an ollie edit just as a wee treat. Go on. You deserve it 😉

{tiktok localgirleh}

[sleepysuburb]

legz akimbo hcs? :)

YES!! love these horrible boys

ollie, phil and dave have all known each other since primary school, and their school plays made them fall in love with theatre. ollie STILL goes on about playing a sheep in the nativity and the nuance he brought to the role (saying "baa" in a slightly lower tone to convey that his sheep was going through puberty and struggling with its identity)

phil is secretly friendly with linda and her girlfriend, and after particularly tough rehearsals they go for drinks and a debrief together.

ollie has adhd and struggles MASSIVELY with rsd - it's part of the reason he's so fucking furious and bitter all the time.

dave has a second job as a dog walker and trainer, which is perfect because ollie is scared of dogs and won't bother him in his free time. he also has two massive soppy german shepherds, for totally unrelated reasons 😀

phil would really rather not live in london. even though he's managed to break into the TV industry and it's handy for all his gigs, he really values his peace and quiet and would rather live somewhere calmer.

ollie spends his evenings trying desperately to come up with new, fresh ideas, even after legz akimbo disbands. part of him thinks that if he comes up with something really amazing, phil and dave will come back and tell him they always thought he was amazing, they just didn't want it to go to his head.

[nahokura]

Sending this to all my friends/mutuals

[9leaguesofmirrors]

His Soul's Best Mate (a Dave Parkes and Phil Proctor friendship fic)

I've recently become obsessed with the friendship dynamic between Phil and Dave (the other members of Legz Akimbo) and decided to write this: a fic about platonic soulmates

Two boys sat in a waiting room among several other hopefuls, waiting for a chance to audition for an up-and-coming theatre company called Legz Akimbo

One has his head buried in his audition book, murmuring his lines under his breath and making notes as he went along. If this went well, it could mean breaking through into a tough industry he'd been training for all his life

The other's scrolling through his phone. He doesn't quite know if this is what he wants, but that doesn't mean he isn't up for giving it a good go. Growing bored of Letterboxd, he puts his phone away and glances over at the man next to him. He sees the monologue

"I almost picked that one."

This caused the other man to lift his head in surprise, which quickly changed into a warm smile

"It's one of my favourite plays, you've heard of it?"

"Only thanks to a lot of researching!" Laughed the stranger "I'm not exactly an encyclopedia of theatre knowledge."

"What did you end up choosing?"

"Found a play called One Man, Two Guvnors. Figured I'd give it a shot."

"You're a fan of comedy! I had a feeling."

"Wow, it's that obvious?"

That made them both laugh. In a potentially volatile industry like the theatre, it was nice to meet someone that felt like a human being

"I'm Dave by the way." He extended his hand, a big grin on his face "Dave Parkes."

"Phil Proctor." He shook it

"No way, Proctor?" Dave chuckled in disbelief "Like in The Cruci-"

"Yes," Phil sighed with a smile "just like The Crucible. I guess my destiny was laid out in front of me since birth."

"Better hope you're good then!"

That's when Phil knew he'd found a very good friend

*********************************************

Rehearsals were interesting. And by interesting, Dave meant "his personal hell". Seriously, their new director was more unstable than a dingy boat on a stormy sea! He thought that, overtime, he'd get better. He was yet to be proven right

One evening, Dave was on a video call with Phil for their weekly line-learning session. They figured they'd start early, plus Dave appreciated being able to talk to his friend without Ollie breathing, or rather screaming, down his neck

"Have you worked with Ollie before?" He asked during their post-run through break

"Nah, first time. You?"

"Same here, was just wondering how you were finding it. I mean, Ollie seems to like you-"

"Like me?" Phil laughed a little at that "Funniest thing I've heard all week!"

"But he always brings up that audition you're going to, the one for that radio show?"

"Only because he's pissy about me missing rehearsals!" Phil muttered "Sarcastic git..."

Once Dave heard that, it all started to click. It would explain why Ollie spent so much time talking about it, yet never showed any real interest aside from that

"Right. Sorry, sarcasm gets lost on me." Dave shrugged "Joys of autism, I guess."

As soon as he saw the look of surprise on Phil's face, Dave couldn't help but laugh - he'd forgotten that was part of him he didn't know yet

"I was diagnosed pretty recently, plus I'm really good at hiding. Trying to get better at not doing that."

"Why didn't you say anything? I mean, you don't owe anyone an explanation, but surely you could get additional support-"

"From Ollie? Not a chance! We both know what he'd do:" Dave took his pink-tinted sunglasses from his desk and put them on, imitating Ollie's voice and mannerisms "My name is Ollie Plimsolls, and welcome to my new play entitled Autism Speaks. I have no idea that this is also the name of a crapsack company because I do absolutely no research. Please sit through this agonising performance while these two actors beside me slowly feel their souls decay!"

Phil could hardly breathe from laughing, and Dave was no better as he took his glasses off again. There was something about having someone that shared their irritancy with their director that felt like Spring air

"He really is something, isn't he?"

"I think the word they use is 'crackpot'." Phil said "I'd quit, but I need the experience. Plus, I like doing stuff with you."

"Boo, that's soppy!"

"Dave, don't be a dick!" Phil teased lightly "Speaking of dick, I don't think Ollie will like it if we still don't know our lines by next week, so we should probably go for another run-through."

Dave started to move his hands like Ollie again

"You don't have the whole script memorized after 2 weeks?! What kind of actor are you?!"

"Don't Dave, I'll start laughing again!"

They only made it through a page of the second run-through because Dave kept doing the "Ollie Voice" and Phil couldn't concentrate

*********************************************

4:00...

They'd been there for half an hour...

And Ollie was still ranting

Phil had stopped listening about 10 minutes in... actually, that was a bit generous. He'd probably clocked out by the 5 minute mark. It was Dave's fault, really, for improvising onstage. That was the reason he started laughing. It never happened, Phil was always great at staying in character, people saw it as a challenge, to make him corpse onstage

So far, only Dave had succeeded. And he had a consistent success streak

Of course, Phil wasn't completely innocent. After Dave started it, he had to get him back somehow - besides, they always ended up laughing when they faced each other head-on

They enjoyed it

The kids loved it

Ollie clearly didn't see the funny side

"How hard is it not to laugh onstage? Neither of you are that funny, surely it should be a simple task!"

When Ollie's back was turned, Dave looked at Phil and mouthed you hungry? That earned a silent shhhh from Phil, who was not about to enrage their director anymore - he actually wanted to go home at some point today

"You two are impossible!" Continued the angry blond man, still not looking behind him "You've ruined my production, you've ruined my reputation-"

You ruined my dream journal! Dave mouthed, laughing as Phil tried desperately to hold back his own laughter

"It's like watching a 5 year old throw a fit." Phil murmured, quiet enough that only Dave heard it

"In those silly jumpers, he looks like one too."

"How far could you push him in a pram?"

This time, it was Dave's turn to clamp his hand over his own mouth, trying to avoid any sound coming out

"Odds on 6 meters?"

"No please, I insist!" Barked an irate Ollie "Your turn! Since you're so intent on interrupting everything I do, what is it? Spit it out!"

"Just agreeing with you, Ollie." Phil said quickly, fearing that laughing in his face was a very bad idea

That seemed to set Ollie off on yet another tirade and he started to pace again. For a while, both Dave and Phil were silent. Then Dave turned to face him

"Y'know what this reminds me of?"

"..."

"My neighbour used to have this chihuahua-"

Neither of them could hold it in, and the torrent of angry yapping from Ollie afterwards was completely worth it

*********************************************

"What do you mean 'not well'? You were perfectly fine yesterday!"

"It caught up to me, Ollie, I told you there was a bug going around. Dave went off with it, you'll probably get it next."

"So help me if either of you give me your disease-"

"We should be alright by tomorrow, we can pick things up then."

It took a little (more like a lot) of convincing, but eventually Ollie caved. As soon as he'd hung up, Phil turned to Dave with a confident smile

"That's him off our case for the rest of the day!"

"He really has no idea what day it is," Dave would've been lying if he said he wasn't a little downhearted by that, but it didn't matter much in the grand scheme of things "and he says he cares."

"He's all talk, no action. Or height."

They both laughed, some jokes never got old

"So," Phil took a neatly wrapped parcel from his bag and handed it to him "the celebrating begins!"

Dave took the package and opened it, and his eyes instantly widened. Never did he thing he would be holding a vintage polaroid camera in his hands

"How did you even find this?"

"You'd be surprised what you find in Camden market."

"You actually managed to fend of Tish to get me a gift?"

"Don't even mention her name," Phil groaned "I wanted to go on my own, but you know what she's like. You mention Camden Market and she follows you like a bloodhound."

"I think it's just you." Dave adopted her voice "I just love you gay guys!"

"Right, I'm taking back the camera." Phil teased as he reached for it, only to be swatted away by a laughing Dave

"Get Tish to go with you!"

Managing to avoid Phil's grasping, he pointed the camera in front of both of them and snapped a selfie

"Dave! Fuck's sake!"

"This is going on my fridge!"

"You better not!"

"It is!"

Once the laughter subsided, Dave looked at the developing photo. It was as if, somehow, he'd managed to capture the chaos and joy and everything he liked in their friendship.

Part of him wished more people remembered his birthday, he wouldn't even have minded Ollie giving him a visit!

"Thanks for this, mate. Means a lot."

"You OK, Davey?"

"Yeah, I just..." He looked at the photo, then back at Phil with a smile "I'm fine."

Phil knew that wasn't true, he gave a firm pat on the knee. A silent assurance that, all teasing aside, he was there for him

"I just feel..." David started to alternate between clenching and unclenching his fists and pressing the pads of his fingers to his thumbs, trying to find the words "... just feel a bit invisible sometimes."

"Invisible?"

"Yeah. I mean, Ollie's the main guy: writer, director, producer... all the stuff. You're Phil Proctor, lead in every performance - which you're great at! But... then there's me. Just... Dave."

Phil hated hearing his mate talk about himself like that, especially when his skills were so obvious to him. He picked up Dave's Polaroid camera and held it up

"You," he said with a smile "are Dave Parkes. Future filmmaker and producer."

"Is this you haggling for a role?"

"Well... maybe!" Phil joked, wrapping an arm around Dave's shoulder "But I know that you're gonna make films that put these plays we're doing to shame."

"That's not hard!"

After that day, Dave started to look forward to his birthday again

*********************************************

Dave had been off all day, and he'd have been lying to himself if he said he didn't know why

It meant a lot, that he was the first person Phil told about his new job opportunity, he was filled with pride to think of his best friend finally escaping Legz Akimbo prison

Even so, there was a tiny part of him that wasn't happy about it at all. At first, he assumed it was jealousy. Phil was free to live his life, while he was trapped doing educational plays for kids that didn't care, with a director that seemed to hate his guts

As he sat in his living room, pressing the pads of his fingers against his thumbs in a self-soothing manner, his thoughts were interrupted by the sound of his phone buzzing. He heard a familiar voice at the end:

"Davy!"

"You alright, Phil? How does it feel to have nearly finished your life sentence?"

"Good. Really good, yeah."

Dave knew Phil well enough to know something wasn't right

"Thought you were meant to be a good actor!" He joked "Now tell me what's really going on."

"Alright, you got me." Phil managed a small chuckle "I'm not ungrateful or anything, trust me - I've wanted out of here since day 3!"

"So what's the problem-"

"Is this a bad idea?"

Out of all the things Phil could've said, Dave wasn't expecting that

"You what?"

"I want to get out, I have for ages, but what's gonna happen after I leave? It'll only be you and Ollie left."

"He spoke to you."

No answer. Not that there needed to be one

"Yeah. He did. Usually, I don't listen so much. But he said all this stuff about how I'm such a "bad friend" for leaving you behind. I know he's just saying it to hurt me, probably doesn't even meant it. But you know how I get."

Dave did. Phil had opening up about the pressure he felt to constantly make the right decision. Theatre was a difficult business, one wrong step and you could fall hard. There were many moments where Phil would need that extra bit of reassurance, just a push in the right direction

Not that he'd always ask for it, that was still tricky for him. But, when he did, Dave was there for him

And, even though he'd have loved to keep seeing his best mate every day at rehearsals, keep making him corpse onstage, and ranting about Ollie and all the other things that they did to keep themselves sane, he knew he had to be there for him here too

"Phil, you've earned this! Don't worry about me, I'm a grown up - especially when you see me stood next to Ollie!" He heard Phil laugh on the other end, which was a good sign in his books "This is about you, mate! You'll do great!"

"It'll be nice to work with a director that doesn't keep trying to lob chairs at me."

"Exactly!"

The conversation started to flow into a number of topics: films they watched recently, the most recent episode of their favourite show, their current (Phil's final) future disaster they were part of thanks to Ollie Plimsolls. Phil's departure almost forgotten until the end of the call

"Showtime next week," he said humourlessly "if it wasn't in front of kids, I'd do it tipsy."

"Not very professional, are you?" Dave teased

"No, but I think I deserve it."

A pause. Dave's fists clenched and unclenched and each finger pressed against his thumb again; with show week happening so close and the fact he wouldn't see his closest friend anymore was eating at him. Come the week after, things wouldn't feel the same. Well, they wouldn't be the same

He didn't realise he wasn't talking until Phil did:

"Odds on Ollie blowing a blood vessel tomorrow?"

Despite himself, Dave laughed

"Very probable, I'll send you a video."

"Davey?"

"Yeah mate?"

"I'll call you next week."

"OK."

Another pause

"Let me know when the ad comes out."

"Promise."

That's how the call ended: with Dave Parkes, alone in his living room, trying not to think about the week after next

Because he was used to the late nights, the rehearsal stresses, the tantrums and the bullying

What he wasn't used to was going about it alone

*********************************************

"Why are you doing this, Dave?"

It was the first time he'd seen any sort of genuine care towards him being shown by Ollie. As if this was the moment he realised that Dave was exhausted. As if he finally felt even the slightest bit of sympathy

Dave looked at him. He wondered if, in another life, they could've actually gotten along. Maybe, if things were different, Legz Akimbo could've really been a trio. Three friends working together, collaborating and supporting each other

But that was a universe lightyears away...

"I just can't stand you, Ollie."

... In this lifetime, they were just too far apart

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Phil! Wait up!"

Upon hearing his name, he turned around, surprised to see Dave running towards him. Phil's shoulder's were grabbed as his best mate caught his breath

"Dave, what happened?"

"I quit!"

"What?" Phil's eyes widened "I mean, that's great but-"

"Remember what you said ages ago? About me being a filmmaker? Well, you were right. I wrote something months ago and I sent it off to Jed Hunter this morning!"

"What did he say?"

Dave's eyes seemed to light up even brighter, his whole face glowed like a lantern about to be launched into the air

"Phil... I'm gonna be a producer."

For a few seconds, Phil was stunned into silence. Then, his arms opened slightly

"Can I-"

His question was answered by Dave pulling him into a bone-crushing hug. That's where they stayed for what felt like a joyful eternity, a buzzing clump of laughter and freedom

"Phil?"

"Yeah?"

"... Odds on you helping me out?"

Phil pulled away, slightly confused, but wth a glimmer of excitement in his eye

"As long as I'm not playing Joseph the carpenter." He joked

"No, but I did write a role with you in mind. Jed said you'll have to audition... but I'm producing, so my say goes-"

"Why are you doing this, Dave? I mean, it's great but.." why me? Was the unspoken part What makes me worthy?

Dave wrapped an arm around Phil and beamed, as if he could see their successful futures right there and then

The struggles, the little achievements, the pushbacks and the pull forwards

He could see the films he'd create, the roles Phil would go on to play, and the awards they both would eventually win - both seperately and for their collaborations

But, right now, he answered Phil's question with the only thing he knew for sure:

"Because you're my best mate, Phil."

[rabiessnail]

ollie plimsolls x phil proctor

the other day i was in the mood for some angst to fluff fics so I went to look for some AND WHY COULDN'T I FIND ANY OLLIE PLIMSOLLS x PHIL PROCTOR?? IS THIS NOT A SHIP?? WHY NOT??? THE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE, THE WAY PHIL IS LEAVING(ollie heartbreak idfk) MAYBE THEY'VE LIKED EACHOTHER SINCE FOREVER BUT ThEN OLLIE MARRIED LINDA TO DISTRACT HIMSELF FROM THE FACT AND CONVICE HIMSLEF WHAT HES 'not gay'

and then phil goes and hooks up w/ some director- ollie divorces linda after the cheating (her also giving him advice, 'go get Phil, I know you blah blah blah) him going 'WhAT nO IM NOt gAY' and then whoops, ollie walks in on phil in the dressingroom w/ said director and JUST BREAKS and tells them to get out

director man is like 'ok small angry man whatever phil u coming??' and phil is like 'yeah one minute'

the BETRAYAL but its fucking STUPID

even director man is like, phil, u can still have the part, just pls deal with the angry bloke who fancies you,

and then just sad ollie rambling and quiet phil just listening and cuddles idk how you lot don't see this

if there IS fics (since i cant find anything) pls pls pls tag me or send me a link or whatever please I'm begging you

xx

[badmovieihave]

Bad movie I have Happily Never After

[amalthea9]

These are gold

Yes I’m still making crap memes no I cannot be stopped.

[gltsmoking]

Give Up This Day

Announcer (Clark Cable): You are nearing the end of our Channel 85 broadcast cycle. At this time, we are proudly required to present our community spokesman for the religion of your choice. And now, Rear-Reverend Sport Trendleberg will give up this day.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Rev. Trendleberg: Good morning, or good evening, or good afternoon. How difficult to know what time it is when you’re locked in a tiny room with artificial light.

Let me scare you with a little story:

A fruit underwent a Danish operation and became a nun. Well, every day, she went for a quick dip in the same canal outside the monastery.  One day, unable to kick her habit, she dove in, and dragged down by the heavy black garments, drowned, and was found by a fisherman of a different face…eh, f-faith, who happened by. He was a common man; and when he asked his god, or devil, why this had not happened to him, he got no reply. And so, he took her shoes and walked away, preferring not to get involved.

So then, what are we afraid of? Fear, like pain, may just be god’s way of hurting us.

Good bless you, and god-night…and please don’t touch that dial.

~ “TV or Not TV” (1973)—Proctor & Bergman (Philip Proctor and Peter Bergman of Firesign Theatre fame.)

👉Take a trip into the surreal world with Fred Flamm, director of washed and un-watched programing, co-owner and co-partner with his co-operator Clark Cable, re-producer at Channel 85.

👇

Side 1

Side 2

[mcudc616]

david lengel bts of wandavision and agatha all along

[politicaldilfs]

Vermont Governor DILFs

Peter Shumlin, Jim Douglas, Phil Scott, Howard Dean, Deane C. Davis, George Aiken, F. Ray Keyser Jr., Franklin S. Billings, Charles Manley Smith, Richard A. Snelling, Harold J. Arthur, Horace F. Graham, John A. Mead, Joseph B. Johnson, Lee E. Emerson, Thomas P. Salmon, William Henry Wills, Mortimer R. Proctor, Ernest W. Gibson Jr., Robert Stafford, Philip H. Hoff, Allen M. Fletcher

[local-blog-for-local-people]

[marvelsgirl616]

david lengel aka harold proctor/phil jones ilysm dav

[thena0315]

Returning from WandaVision

The Home Foundation + WestView Residents

[incorrect-smurfs-quotes]

(while listening to Gargamel's song from the "Blue Plague" episode)

Brainy Smurf: What the smurf is this?

Gargamel: I'm glad you asked. A homage to a classic villain song from Yogi's First Christmas, sung by Herman the Hermit and his sidekick, Snively.

Brainy Smurf: I guarantee no Smurf got that.

Phil Proctor: Hey! I remember this song!

Brainy Smurf: Oh, smurf up, Phil!

(beat)

Brainy Smurf: I don't believe this! You're singing almost the same thing a Hermit sang! (beat) How the smurf was this not cut from the show?!

Gargamel: Well, I insist the creator (Peyo) we'd keep it. I stood in a cart at a parking space with my cat, until he gave in.

(beat)

Brainy Smurf: This is the stupidest thing I've ever smurfed!

Greedy Smurf: Um, are they smurfing a buffet for us after this?

Vanity Smurf: Just smurfberries and sarsaparilla. Two of Smurfs' natural diets.

Gargamel: Can't we please listen to the song?!

(beat)

Brainy Smurf: Are there even any jokes in this?

Gargamel: Don't you understand comedy, foolish being? It's a reference! The joke is I'm singing it!

Brainy Smurf: Sorry to break it to you, Gargamel, but it isn't a joke.

Gargamel: Oh, great! Now, it's over! Thanks a lot, you imbecile! You completely ruined it!

Brainy Smurf: Don't you dare smurf that tone with me, because this has been one smurf of a day!

[9leaguesofmirrors]

Just Can't Stand It (A Legz Akimbo fic)

So, I mentioned before that I wanted to write a fic about the scene where Legz Akimbo split, but from the perspectives of Dave and Phil. I touched on it in my first Dave and Phil fic, but I wanted to expand on that idea a little

CONTENT WARNING: Verbal abuse

"Phil?"

After looking through every studio in their tiny rehearsal space, Dave finally found his mate in the empty audience of a barren, black-box theatre. Clearly in a bad mood, and Dave understood exactly why

"Sorry, did you need the space?

"No, no it's alright. Just wondered where you'd gone off to."

"Just needed to get away for a bit."

Dave didn't blame him at all. It was been a pretty intense day at rehearsals, somehow even moreso than usual, what with Ollie throwing some pretty harsh accusations at Phil

"Need me to receive a very important phone call and leave you alone?"

That got a small chuckle from Phil. Not much, it didn't meet his eyes, but it was something

"You're alright, was getting a bit dull anyway."

"Well, if you're waiting for a show," he goes as sits in a seat next to him "you'll be waiting for a while."

"Better than being out there with him..." muttered Phil

Silence fell around them. Both of them knew what Phil's comment meant. Ollie was harsh on them both, but the abuse he delivered to him was far more blatant. Maybe because he knew that Dave was easier to mess with subtly, he never did understand sarcasm. Besides, he always thought Phil was the actor Ollie always thought he was, not that he'd ever say that out loud. He quite enjoyed not being dead or severely concussed

"What he said wasn't true, I know." Dave assured him, wrapping an arm around his shoulder "I mean, you're way to talented to have to rely on spreading your legs for a role-"

"Why don't you get accused of it?"

That was not what he was expecting to hear

"I never-"

I know," Phil sighed "I just... why is it always me? It's like he can't seem to fathom that I'm actually good at what I do. He doesn't see that I'm way better than he gives me credit for."

"I think he does." Dave looked at his mate's incredulous expression and nodded "Yeah! I think he does! I mean, you're a versatile performer with charisma and integrity. Ollie wishes he could be like you, and that's why he hates you. Because you're a real actor."

"Don't feel like it." Phil muttered

Sighing, Dave looked out at the empty performance space. Then there was a moment. A flickering light, as if a flame whipped across the stage in his mind

"If you could play any character in the world, who would it be?"

He watched as Phil pondered his question for a moment, either that or he was asking himself why it was being sprung on him. Regardless, he answered

"I want someone complex. maybe a good man that does bad things." That same light now started to glisten in Phil's eyes "I'd be a character with charisma, intelligence. Maybe someone in the British government. One that's lonely, but cares deeply for his family." He starts to smile sadly "But, knowing Ollie, he'd cast himself in that role."

"I wouldn't."

Phil's face became confused

"I'll write something, for us."

Then, Phil laughed

"Ollie will never let you."

"Worth a try, right?" Dave stood up, bounding to the performance area "And, if he doesn't like it, I'll make it myself!" He looked out at the empty rows and, for a fleeting moment, saw a full house. But something was missing "C'mon Phil, come join me!"

Rolling his eyes fondly, he did. And Dave put a hand round his shoulder again, looking out at the seats

"I'm gonna make a play," he said "that we'll both be great in. A serious, troubled character for you-"

"And a warm, comedic one for you?" Phil suggested "One that shows off your physical comedy."

"You know me well, you do!"

"It could be about two friends breaking into the entertainment industry-"

"-but one of them passes away-"

"-and they grieve the life they left behind-"

"-while also coming to terms with their friend's death!"

They looked out in silence again, but this time it felt buzzy and warm, like something was opening in front of them, ready for them to bask in

"This," Dave said, hugging his mate tightly "is gonna be our big break. I can feel it."

"A two-hander, just for us."

"Well, yeah. That's what a two-hander is!"

"Oh, piss off!" Phil laughed

Their laughter soon melted the frost that once clouded the air

*********************************************

"Ollie, you got a minute?"

It was finally time for a break, and Dave managed to catch their director before he scurried off

"If you're going to ask for a bigger part-"

"No, not at all! I just..." he started pressing the pads of his fingers together "well, I wanted to get a second opinion from our very own writer. See, I've-"

"I'm more than a writer, Dave." Ollie heaved an exasperated sigh "I'm a director, a producer, an actor and a-"

"Yes, yes, I know. But I'm coming to you in the hopes you could offer me some help... writer to writer."

That made Ollie do a double take, looking at him with sheer disbelief

"How can you call yourself a writer? You've never written a play in your life!"

"Well, actually," Dave ran to his bag, returning with a script that he slapped against the desk with great enthusiasm "I've been writing in secret for a while, and I came up with something recently that I want you to read."

Wordlessly, Ollie picked up the document and flicked through

Dave couldn't stop fiddling with his hands. This was the first time he'd shown anyone, other than Phil, his writing. And even he hadn't seen all of his scripts. Sharing something like that was deeply personal, a huge

"It's, um, it's not finished or anything. But I'd really appreciate the feedback and-"

"I'll read it," he waved his hand dismissively "I've got nothing better to do. Not unless Phil suddenly decides his lines are worth learning."

"To be fair to him, he's doing alright considering we only got the script last week..."

Realising that Ollie wasn't actually listening by this point, Dave simply left the room

*********************************************

"I read it."

By now, it was after rehearsals and Phil had been dismissed. It was just Ollie and Dave, with the former sat at his little table and the latter sat down on the edge of the stage

"And?"

"And what?"

"What did you think?"

Instead of responding, Ollie started to sift through and took out a few pages

"For starters, this scene has to go." He ripped the pages, much to the shock of Dave "It just doesn't work."

"OK, but could you at least ask me before destroying my-"

"And this scene."

Rip

"And this one."

Rip

"And this entire section. And, honestly, this whole character. While we're at it, let's just get rid of THIS ONE TOO!"

Rip. Rip. Rip. Rip. Rip. Rip

Dave wanted to storm over and yank the script right out of his hands, but the sheer shock of the situation had caused him to freeze. And he just watched. Watched as his pride and joy, his ticket out, his art, was destroyed with horrible ease

"What RIGHT?!" Ollie screeched as he threw the remains onto the floor, leaping from his seat and waving his arms wildly "What RIGHT DO YOU HAVE to COME IN HERE and show me this RUBBISH! I did not become Legz Akimbo's writer to be UNDERMINED like this!"

Dave opened his mouth to say something, but he suddenly became more focused on scampering backward upstage to avoid the madman coming towards him with a chair. As he saw it leave Ollie's hands, he cowered on the floor, hearing it slam against the back wall. He didn't dare lift his head, unprepared to face another potential attack

"I SLAVE AWAY at that desk for HOURS creating the BEST ISSUE-BASED PLAYS in Royston Vasey but NO. APPARENTLY IT WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH. JUST like how it wasn't good enough for Linda, NOBODY APPRECIATES THEATRE ANYMORE

Dave wasn't sure how events transpired between the tirade and Ollie leaving the ruined script on the floor as he stormed out, but one moment he was face-to-face with an angry director, and the next he was alone. He went over and picked up some of the paper, unable to cry. Just staring at the rubble of his imagination. Of what could've been a future. Maybe not a long future, but a future nonetheless. Something he could be proud of. Something he was proud of

"Are you just gonna stand there then?"

His eyes darted to the doorway, where Ollie stood with an irritated glare

"Come on, it's just paper. Surely you have another copy, no use crying over it!"

Dave opened his mouth to explain that no, he wasn't crying, but nothing came out. All he could do was shake his head

"I don't know why I bother sometimes." Ollie muttered, loud enough for Dave to hear, before walking off

The room felt like it had gone colder. The evening glow outside darkened as the walls closed in. Dave just stood there, motionless. Paper crumpled in his hand. His whole body was frozen until he heard a familiar ringtone come from his pocket. Putting his phone to his ear, he accepted the call

"Dave?"

Again, he opened his mouth to speak, fingertips pressing together. And, once again, nothing escaped his throat

"Dave, are you there?"

Nothing

"Look, if you're busy, I can wait."

Dave shook his head, as if Phil was somehow able to see it

"I just didn't hear back, wanted to know what Ollie thought about the script-"

That was interrupted by the rapid sound of Dave's fist being slammed against the table. Then his throat caught as he tried to choke back his tears

"He hated it."

"Seriously? Did he even read it?"

"It's on the floor. He ripped it."

"He ripped it up?" The shock was evident in Phil's voice "Do you... have a copy somewhere?"

"Yes."

For a moment, nothing was said. In the silence, Dave felt acutely aware of his surroundings. Of the slight buzzing of the lights, the fabric of his shirt sleeves over his arms, the shouting outside, the sweat on his brow. It was so much. So much. So much-

"Dave," came the quiet voice of his friend "I can pick you up if you want. Save you walking."

"... Alright."

"OK, I'm on my way."

"Right. See you then."

Dave hung up, sitting down on the stage with his head on his palms. He stayed there until Phil came back

Even then, he didn't turn his head when he heard his mate come in. It was like his whole body had fused together, rendering movement impossible. But he could tell Phil was looking around at the scattered remains of his work.

He watched as Phil went around, picking up each piece and putting it in the nearest bin. Then he went and sat beside him, looking at him with eyes full of apologies - as if he was the one that caused it

"I'm gonna miss you," Dave said quietly "when you leave for your big project."

"Hardly a big project." Phil chuckled

"Bigger than this. Not sure how Legz Akimbo's gonna go ahead without you."

"You're not staying, are you?"

"Can't leave. Where else can I go?"

When Phil didn't respond, Dave finally looked at him

"What else do I have?"

"You have your scripts."

Laughing hollowly, Dave looked at the bin

He then feels something familiar on his back, something warm. That simple touch probably wouldn't have meant much in any other context, but it said a lot here. It was comforting, unifying and gentle. They'd both spent so much time with Ollie that they'd forgotten what it felt like to be handled with care. Handled like they mattered. And, even if it was for a fleeting moment, it was nice to be reminded that they were important to someone

"If you're going, I'm going."

That surprised Phil slightly

"What, you're leaving?"

"If you are."

"Where are you gonna go?"

"Dunno. Not here. You're the only reason I stayed, I liked doing stuff with my best mate. No point sticking around if you're going."

Instead of speaking, Phil slowly moved his arm around Dave's shoulders, holding him without completely invading his personal space

"Ollie's gonna kill us." He laughed "He'll go red."

"Purple, more like." Dave couldn't help but join in "He'll probably burst!"

It was strange, in that moment, to find some kind of joy in their situation. But, in the end, it got them through. The laughter, the warmth of it: it kept them alive

*********************************************

All through the performance, Dave wasn't present. He knew that. And Ollie probably did as well. His mind was split between two outcomes, leave Legz Akimbo and risk not finding steady work for years, or stay in a job that will slowly crush him? He needed his sanity, but he also needed money

He was so in his head, he hadn't realised Ollie had clambered off his shoulders and was now starting on Phil until he managed to catch the end of his rant

"Not because he's talented, it's not! But because he bums the director."

Dave saw Phil's face, that look of anguish and disgust, as he walked offstage. It was a low blow, they all knew that. Phil was a talented actor, yet always so unsure. That's what people in the industry, people like Ollie Plimsolls have always done: break people apart until they question their ability. He'd done that to Phil, that good-hearted, determined man with such a gift, and was intent on destroying him until there was nothing left

It wasn't fair. Not on someone as dedicated and talented as Phil Proctor

"Other people like me and Dave, we plod on, working-"

"Don't Ollie."

"WHAT? I'm telling everyone how DEDICATED we are-"

"I'm leaving Legz Akimbo."

"... WHAT!"

It felt odd, to say it out loud

He should've been nervous about Ollie lashing out again

Should've

But he wasn't

In that moment, looking at him now, Dave realised how small he truly was. Not just in height, but in significance. To him. For the first time, he saw Ollie for what he was. A lonely, bitter man that couldn't reach his own dreams, so took it out on anyone he deemed as a rival. A man that pretended to care about issues he didn't know a thing about, just because it made him look more important than he actually was

And Dave realised something in that very moment: he owed that man nothing

Not his time

Not his dedication

Not his work

Not his life

"Why are you doing this, Dave?"

His whole body felt light, but his head was heavy. As if all the pain and torment he'd absorbed over the years had finally been squeezed out of him, as if he'd finally been wringed like a sponge, leaving only exhaustion. Were it any other moment, he would've floated. But now he was oddly grounded, as if this was nothing more than a job he should've done a long time ago

"I just can't stand you, Ollie."

Mumbling an apology to their audience, he left. The adrenaline carrying him, in a steady pace, out of the auditorium and into the corridor, his eyes fixed on the exit

His hand met the handle, felt the coolness under his palm, and pushed it open. A familiar face greeted him in the front seat of a car

"Figured I'd save you walking."

Dave smiled softly and got in beside Phil, strapping in his seatbelt before they drove away, leaving that man behind them and advancing into whatever was waiting for them