#Pet allergy testing

[frontierallergy]

Unveiling the Enigma of Alpha-Gal: Unanticipated Allergies When Ticks Transform Meat into a Health Risk

In a culinary landscape where new flavors and dishes often bring joy, imagine savoring a delectable steak or burger only to face an unexpected allergic reaction, turning the simple act of consuming meat into a potential health concern. This perplexing phenomenon is none other than the Alpha-Gal tick meat allergy, a genuine mystery that has captivated scientists and garnered attention from the medical community in recent times. Join us as we delve into the captivating realm of Alpha-Gal and unravel the intricate connections between ticks, meat, and the human immune system.

Understanding the Alpha-Gal Relationship

Alpha-Gal, short for "alpha-galactose," is a carbohydrate molecule naturally found in the organs of many non-primate animals. Remarkably absent in humans and other primates, it becomes an alien substance triggering immune responses under specific circumstances, such as tick bites. Research indicates that individuals bitten by ticks are more likely to develop red meat allergies, suggesting a correlation between tick exposure and altered immune reactions to alpha-gal.

The link between Alpha-Gal and ticks was established in the early 2000s in regions like the southeastern United States and parts of Europe, where ticks like the Lone Star ticks are prevalent. When these ticks bite humans, alpha-gal molecules enter the bloodstream, prompting the immune system to produce antibodies against them.

Mechanism of Allergic Reaction

The Alpha-Gal allergy unfolds in a series of steps:

Tick Bite: Alpha-Gal-carrying ticks acquire alpha-gal molecules from the blood of the animals they feed on, incorporating them into their saliva. When these ticks bite humans, the saliva containing alpha-gal is introduced into the bloodstream.

Immune Response: The immune system recognizes alpha-gal as foreign and generates antibodies, specifically Immunoglobulin E (IgE).

Delayed Reaction: Unlike immediate allergic reactions, Alpha-Gal allergies take time to develop. Symptoms typically surface 3 to 6 hours after consuming red meat, complicating the identification of the trigger.

Diagnosis and Symptoms

Diagnosing Alpha-Gal allergies poses challenges due to delayed symptoms and the need for specialized blood tests. Symptoms may include hives, itching, swelling, gastrointestinal discomfort, and in severe cases, anaphylaxis. Timely and accurate diagnosis is crucial given the potential seriousness of reactions associated with this allergy.

Managing Alpha-Gal Allergies

Living with an Alpha-Gal allergy requires careful lifestyle adjustments:

Elimination of Trigger Foods: Avoiding foods containing alpha-galactose, such as red meat and gelatin-containing products, is essential.

Tick Control: Minimize tick exposure through protective clothing, tick repellents, and avoiding tick habitats.

Educating Healthcare Professionals: Raise awareness among healthcare professionals about the unique features and testing requirements for Alpha-Gal allergies.

Emergency Planning: Individuals prone to severe allergic reactions should carry an EpiPen and know how to use it in case of emergencies.

Future Research Directions

Ongoing scientific research aims to enhance our understanding of Alpha-Gal allergies, exploring new diagnostic procedures, desensitization medications, and strategies to reduce tick populations.In conclusion, the investigation into Alpha-Gal allergies uncovers a fascinating connection between ticks, meat, and allergic reactions. If you suspect Alpha-Gal-related allergic symptoms, do not hesitate to reach out. Your well-being is our priority, and we are here to assist you.

[gettingvetted]

My dog is allergic to salmon, chicken, lamb, turkey, duck, and fish mix. Also rice. It's so funny because every source I find says "beef is one of the more common foods that dogs form allergies to" but I guess she's just a trendsetter.

Anyways if you have any recommendations for beef food that doesn't have rice I'm all ears :)

That is highly unlikely. How was that diagnosed? Did you run a food trial that avoided each of those ingredients exclusively for 6 to 8 weeks and then put them back on a food containing those items and the symptoms returned? If not, know that's the only way that food allergies can be accurately diagnosed. Blood and hair tests are completely inaccurate.

Your best bet is a hydrolyzed protein diet if the pet is truly allergic to all of the above. Your vet will have told you this if you completed any testing with them.

[kandicon]

My life would be made infinitely better if I could have a cat if not for the fact it would make literally everything worse

[insert-game]

i think my dog’s new allergy medication is working 😭😭😭

[simpforkhun]

pick a vibe

[biocommunication]

Bicom Bioresonance Therapy is a holistic therapeutic approach grounded in the concept that every cell in our body emits electromagnetic waves at specific frequencies. When allergies are present, these frequencies are disrupted.

[ink-asunder]

We NEED to reevaluate how we view people with "red flags" that don't actually indicate harm to anyone. Things like "doesn't like animals," "doesn't have pets," "my pets immediately distrust them, so that means they're Secretly Evil."

I have a psychotic disorder. I suffer from flat affect. I have zero control over how I am emoting, and very often my emotional readout is completely blank. A LOT of animals (dogs especially) have exhibited aggression and fear around me ever since this started. (There are only TWO dogs I've met in the last five years that didn't BITE ME.) Dogs are unsettled by me because of a symptom of my psychosis--a condition that is out of my control that IS NOT DANGEROUS and doesn't harm anyone.

I also have a severe autoimmune disease and severe allergies to basically all animals. Whenever I tell people I can't come over because they have pets, or I don't have/want pets of my own, the IMMEDIATE response I always get is "why don't you like animals?" So I'm always pretty pissed off when I have to say, "I'm severely allergic. Don't fucking assume I have an undesireable quality just because I'm not a pet owner."

Another ableist red flag we need to talk about is "has no other friends/all their friends break up with them." Hi. I'm physically disabled with a digestive disease and a degenerative disease in my spine. That means my dietary restrictions are stupid and I can't sit/stand/walk for more than 15 minutes without being in pain. Most of the friends I break up with, I do so BECAUSE THEY ARE INCREDIBLY ABLEIST TO ME with no visible potential of changing. From people relentlessly harrassing me about lifestyle changes to not accepting correction or feedback when I tell them "hey, you CAN'T do x because it triggers y condition." If they argue or blow me off, I'm not their fucking friend!

Tl;dr: Disabled, chronically ill, and people with "scary" mental illnesses are often lumped in with "bad people" for characteristics that hurt no one and aren't in their control. Stop using "my dog is uncomfortable around them" as a litmus test for everyone you hang out with.

[celepeace]

Of course no pet I own is ever going to be just normal. My 6mo puppy had x-rays today for a mysterious limp and the vet is apparently baffled because absolutely nothing, not even bone inflammation from panosteitis aka "growing pains" showed up. Every animal I own is a medical fucking mystery in their own ways

[pangur-and-grim]

Do you have any advice on finding ethical cat breeders? I've only ever adopted, but I'm hoping to get hairless (or slightly haired) breed in the future due to my partner's allergies.

oh sure, here's what sold me on the breeder I'm currently wait-listed for:

she lists the 40+ health tests her animals have gone through, and has the results uploaded onto her website

each cat has their coefficient of inbreeding visible

it's not a kitten factory. there are set times of year when breeding occurs (in this case, spring and fall)

breeding animals have short careers and then are retired, to avoid strain on their bodies, and allow them to live as pets

she attends cat shows to ensure her animals are meeting breed standards

there are rarely any kittens 'for sale', as most sales are done through a waitlist. this means that even before being born, most of the kittens she produces already have waiting homes.

she requires buyers to sign a contract saying that this will be an indoor cat, and that there will be no declawing

also in the contract: if for whatever reason you can no longer care for your cat, she will take it back and find a home for it.

doesn't breed for any unethical traits (extreme brachycephaly, manx tails, folded ears, lykoi fur mutation, munchkin legs, etc.)

doesn't make outlandish claims - anyone who breeds lower allergen cats should be forthright about the fact that no cat will truly be hypoallergenic, only less allergenic

requires the cat to have a feline companion if it is of a more social breed (oriental, siamese, devon rex, etc)

has a 2 year congenital health guarantee

there's probably more, but that's off the top of my head!

EDIT: as for your particular situation, aim for breeds that produce less of the protein in their saliva that triggers allergies. Devon Rexes (the breed I'm getting) are a double whammy in this regard, as they produce less of the protein, and shed less fur into their environment.

[frontierallergy]

Exploring Oak Allergy: A Comprehensive Guide

Are you curious about the impact of oak pollen on vision-related issues and the broader spectrum of oak allergy symptoms beyond just pollen? Are you interested in understanding pollen food allergy syndrome and the most effective treatment options available? These are common questions encountered by our allergy and asthma specialists. Let's delve into these concerns and address them comprehensively.

The Golden Hues of Oak

While oak trees contribute to the lush greenery of Texas, they can make life challenging for some individuals during the spring allergy season. With over 450 varieties of oak trees and shrubs, these pollen-producing trees are not limited to rural areas; they can be found in urban settings as well. The extensive pollen shed by these trees, carried across vast distances by the wind, makes it nearly impossible to evade these airborne allergens.

Have you ever noticed the yellow dust settling on your car after parking under an oak tree? Within a short span, the sticky yellow residue can accumulate and potentially trigger allergic reactions.

Allergy Season and Recognizable Symptoms

The oak allergy season typically peaks from March to May, with the highest pollen counts observed in March and April. Millions of pollen particles fill the air during this period, wreaking havoc on sinus health. Individuals allergic to oak pollen can mitigate their exposure by monitoring local pollen counts and taking preventive measures.

Commonly reported oak allergy symptoms include sneezing, coughing, runny nose, red or itchy eyes, throat or nasal itchiness, fatigue, and dark circles under the eyes. Ignoring initial symptoms may lead to more severe reactions.

Understanding Pollen Food Allergy Syndrome

If you experience throat or mouth itchiness after consuming raw vegetables or fresh fruits during allergy season, you may be dealing with Pollen Food Allergy Syndrome (PFAS) or Oral Allergy Syndrome (OAS). This syndrome arises because the immune system recognizes proteins in certain fruits and vegetables as similar to oak pollen.

Approximately 25 percent of allergic rhinitis patients also suffer from OAS. To avoid complications, individuals with this syndrome should steer clear of foods that induce mouth itching or tingling, including strawberries, celery, soy, peanuts, carrots, cherries, peaches, hazelnuts, apples, eggs, and chestnuts.

Allergic Conjunctivitis and Vision Problems

Oak pollen can lead to red, itchy, and watery eyes, potentially causing vision problems if left unattended. Allergists recommend antihistamines or allergy eye drops for relief from these symptoms. A thorough examination of your eyes and medical history by an allergist can determine if oak allergy is the underlying cause.

Testing and Diagnosis for Comprehensive Allergy Management

Beyond oak pollen, allergies can be triggered by weed, grass, peanuts, bee stings, pet dander, and mold. Accurate diagnosis is crucial for effective treatment and symptom management. Board-certified allergists, such as Dr. Neha Reshamwala, may recommend tests like skin prick testing, intradermal skin tests, or blood tests to identify specific allergens.

Managing Allergies: Strategies and Treatment Options

Three primary approaches exist for managing allergies:

Exposure Reduction: Avoiding pollen and certain foods known to cause allergies is the first line of defense. Strategies include checking daily pollen counts, keeping doors and windows closed during high pollen periods, going outdoors in the evening, taking a hot shower upon returning home, daily vacuuming, and using dehumidifiers or HEPA filters.

Pharmacological Medications: Allergy medicines and nasal sprays are commonly prescribed to alleviate symptoms.

Allergen Immunotherapy: This involves administering oral drops or shots with small doses of allergens to build resistance over time. Allergy shots can significantly reduce or eliminate symptoms as the immune system develops tolerance to oak pollen.

By adopting these strategies and treatment options, individuals can effectively manage oak allergies, leading to improved overall well-being and reduced allergic reactions over time.

[cod-dump]

With all the added animals in your teen au all I can think of is statistics of someone in that family is allergic to pets

All I can think is Kyle sneezing up a storm and REFUSING to admit that he's allergic

Kyle started to sneeze and his throat started to ache. It noticeably starts when Small Fry is brought home and Price knows she has to be the cause. But Kyle refuses to go get tested. He insists he’s fine and that it was just seasonal allergies before leaving to go annoy Simon or Farah. Price wants to get him tested to confirm it and to see what a doctor would recommend to do to treat it.

Because as much as he hates to admit it, Price adores that silly bird and he would like to avoid having to get rid of her… if such thing is possible for a pigeon that comes and goes as she pleases. So he just starts cleaning everything more often, especially after Small Fry sneaks inside.

[russellsppttemplates]

You and Max finding out you are allergic to cats

Cw: cat allergy

The first time you noticed it, you pointed it out to a cold. You and Max hadn't been dating for a long time, and you had been at his place for the first time that night. When you got back to your place, you noticed your nose was stuffy and your skin was redder than usual, but since you wore a new top that was light and breezy, you figured you were just paying for your clothing choice.

The second time it happened, you had been wearing comfy, warm clothes when your eyes started itching, and no matter how much Max looked into your eyes, he couldn't find anything in them that could be the cause of that.

The third time worked like a charm. After all, that was what they said anyway. You were in Max's apartment when your phone reminded you of the appointment you had booked with an allergy doctor, "I'll take you, it's fine!", he smiled, opening his car door for you before driving you there.

"Do you always have that redness in your eyes?", the doctor asked, "it's because of this, actually, it's one of the symptoms, I'm just not sure of the source", you explained. After a comprehensive list of questions, he seemed to have a solid theory, "you say the cats are your boyfriend's and that you don't live with him?", you nodded, "Y/N, is there something that would indicate that you're not allergic to cats?".

"My family are mostly dog people, I guess, I never spent that much time with cats, actually", you muttered. "Because the cats are your boyfriend's, I would point in that direction. You don't have much contact, only when you spend time with him, and your symptoms check out with the ones for the allergy".

"These days, people can manage their allergies while keeping pets just fine. I can prescribe you antihistamines for day to day situations, ones for acute reactions in case of emergencies, and for the cats themselves, there is cat food that is designed to reduce the proteins that make you have an allergic reaction", he explained.

Booking yourself for confirmation tests, Max drove you back to your place, getting in with you, "this is a new thing, hm? This relationship didn't have any specificities already, so I had to had one more", you huffed.

"I'll change their food, we'll see if rhe medications work, and then we'll go from there, okay?", Max comforted, kissing the side of your head, "crazy schedules are one thing, but cat allergy? We'll figure it out".

(Thank you for your submission ✨️)

[voidartisan]

okay thoughts on the premiere because i DID wake up at 2am to watch it but i'm kinda drowsy from the allergy medicine i'm taking so i couldn't really multitask

"you're not a prisoner" emerie says as she come to retrieve omega from an unfurnished room that is also locked from the outside

crosshair's particular brand of self-depreciating concern/encouragement is kinda sweet but mostly concerning. you need a therapist sir

i've been looking through the tbb tag and everyone else is referring to the lurker hound as "batcher" so i'm guessing that's how it was spelled in the subtitles but i heard it as "betcha" and refuse to let that go bc i think it's cute

side note: for hunter's sake i hope he's okay with pets lol

emerie isn't completely terrible. kinda hope she gets a redemption arc

using lula as a symbol of omega's distance from the batch is really clever and also going to tear my heart out

seriously the "i belong here" comment. crosshair wins saddest wettest cat of a man this season

he's also just so tired of everything, which. same

baby regs!!!!

once again we get to watch hunter vibrate out of his corporeal form at the sheer proximity of adoptable children. he has a mission though so he will have to come back and parent them later

i think the kaminoans may have accidentally also enhanced the fett Fatherhood Gene(TM) when they were working on his senses

ngl the design for roland's mom slaps. hope they use it again

WHAT is with crosshair's shaky hand???? are they implying the gas from last season did that? is it from testing? interested to see where it goes though. quite the disadvantage for a literal sniper

from all this talk of genetic m-counts and such, what i'm gathering is that omega isn't necessarily force-sensitive but clones of her could be depending on your views on midichlorians

[sweetracha]

Choose a Flavor

There are two versions of this story based on the experience you want to have. Will you be a good girl or a brat?

Flavor Selected: Good Girl

Sugar Content: Spicy Sweet (SMUT!)

Allergy Warning: Hard Dom Chan, Titles (Master and Daddy), Pet Names (Bunny, Baby, Good Girl, Princess, etc.), Praise, Overstim, Sweet Mean Dom, Dumb is used, Illusions to aftercare.

The room you stood in was silent. Not a single sound rang out. So quiet in fact, you could hear the thoughts blaring through your head. Your heart was drumming an unsteady beat in your ears and your breath danced along. Was this nervous or excited? Both you decided, it was both.

After a few failed relations and some more than disappointing hookups, you decided maybe love and lust wasn’t for you. Having to share your kinks and fantasies over and over again was tiring. No one seemed to understand what you wanted, no what you NEEDED out of a relationship. Giving up was the best option. That was until a friend ranted about her failure of a date.

“He was sweet when I met him! And super attractive don’t get me wrong! But something seemed off. We went back to his place and we were hanging out in his bed watching a movie. I thought maybe something would happen so I wanted to freshen up. I left for the restroom and when I came back I must have picked the wrong door because when I opened it…” Your friend trailed off. 

“What did you see?” You asked both out of curiosity and protectiveness. If this man did anything to hurt her you would make sure he would pay.

“Um well” her cheeks went bright red. “Remember that movie we jokingly watched back in college? The one about…you know…sex?”

“Yeah…50 shades of gray? It was a terrible representation of that lifestyle, but go on”

“Well… it was like that”

That's when it hit you. This man had a playroom. A full-on playroom dedicated to BDSM. you could finally have someone in your life to share details with. A friend that would actually understand you. You consoled your friend however, she needed you more right now. She admitted that she didn’t want to break his heart so you told her you'd do it on her behalf, all you needed was his number.

You set up a public meeting with the guy you now knew as Christopher. The two of you were to meet at a little cafe in the middle of town. While your friend described him to you, you weren’t exactly sure what he looked like. So when an incredibly handsome man walked up to your table, you were startled.

“y/n?” he asked and god was his voice intoxicating.

“Yeah–that's me! You must be Christopher” you replied with a much shakier voice than you would have liked. Chris took a seat across from you.

He was fidgeting the whole conversation, worried he actually hurt your friend. You explained to him since you were little girls she had always been scared of the taboo. This eased his tight expressions. However, the more you talked the more he picked up on. Your friend was not into the scene…but you never said anything about yourself.

“Sorry if this is out of the blue Y/N, but how do you know so much about this lifestyle? I mean you know much more than any book or movie would teach you” He said with a soft and caring tone but a cocky smirk on his lips. I

“I um- well I have looked into it” was a terrible lie, and he could tell.

“Honey, it's okay if you are an adorable little sub” He tested the waters, hoping to not scare you off. To be honest the thought of having a sub as gorgeous as you scared him a bit. When he saw the blush crawl up your skin and paint your face, he knew you had to be his. 

Here you are now standing in his playroom. It was perfect, everything you could have dreamed of and more. You had seen it once before when you were going over consent contracts. Chris wanted to make sure you felt comfortable in this space. He made love to you in the black silk bed that sat on the middle wall. He was so sweet, soft, and sensual in those moments. You wondered how he could ever be a dom.

Trying to drown out your busy mind you took in the sights. Christopher, or Bang Chan as you learned was his dom persona, had an eye for detail. The room was decorated with leather and silk, reminding you of the silk piece he had you wear tonight. Red lights colored the corners tastefully. Paddles and other impact gear were organized along the walls. Ropes were twisted neatly on the bedframe. A wand and some other toys were charging on the black wood nightstand. Finally, you took in the scent of the room. Sharp whiskey and leather filled your senses, a perfect match to Chan’s cologne. Being so lost in the art of it all, you didn’t hear the door close or footsteps behind you.

“Hello little bunny” Chris welcomed as he slide up behind you, gently wrapping a hand around your throat. “Are you ready to play little one?” you nodded in response.

“Words honey, don’t be a brat now” his grip tightened. 

“Yes Master” you meekly replied

“Good girl, here is how tonight is going to go. Every question I ask will be responded to verbally, Every order I give will be followed, and every word I say will be heard. Do this little bunny and Daddy will reward you greatly. If you fail to listen to me, however, you will be punished” His hand around your neck pulled you in close as he leaned into your ear and whispered “Hard”.

Tonight you were left with two choices. Be the good girl your dom wants you to be or have your fun and be a brat. Rewards or punishments were the ultimate questions. 

You picked to be a good girl tonight

Chan spun you around so you were facing him, it didn’t matter if he had a shorter stature. Right now he towered over you. Leather-gloved hands came up to fix your pretty white bunny ears on top of your head. Christopher cooed at how innocent you looked in the dark space. He was going to have fun with you. Those same rough leather hands tilted your chin up to stare into his intense eyes.

“What are your safe words bunny?” 

“Green for good, yellow for slow down, and red for stop” You had to admit he stole your breath away. He was terrifying yet comforting at the same time as he hummed in approval.

“What is my name doll?

“Daddy or Master” 

“Good bunny, such a good girl for daddy huh sweetie? Let's start now, how does that sound to you”

“Please Daddy” fuck, you were going to be the death of him.

Christopher laid you down on the black silk sheets. He leaned in to capture your lips in a soft kiss. His big lips pillowed onto yours. You were getting lost in the false comfort of it all until he bit your bottom lip harshly and pulled back. The moan that left you was forever engraved in his mind. After his stunt he went back to kissing you but with more passion and fire. His tongue delved into your mouth and easily took dominance. It wasn't long before kisses trailed down your jaw and onto your neck. He explored you until one spot, just under your ear, made you moan louder than any before. He latched on. With intent to mark what was his, Chris sucked and bit that section all while you sang out in pleasure. When he pulled back, he was satisfied with the deepening purple bruise left behind.

His next stop was your breasts. After removing the white silk babydoll gown, he took a second to admire your body.

“Fucking gorgeous bunny” as he would have put it

He kissed, twisted, and sucked each nipple while you whined and wiggled.

“Stay still baby, you were doing so good” The praise was like electricity to your skin. You needed him to see you as his good girl. So as best as you could you stayed still.

Finally, he made his way down to where you needed him most. Your panties were soaked from his previous exploration and from the look on his face, he approved. 

“So wet honey, all for me?” He knew the answer but wanted to see that embarrassed blush again from the cafe.

“Yes Daddy, wet for you,” you said so quietly you almost thought he didn’t hear.

“Good girl, that must be so uncomfortable bunny. Let Master help you with that okay? Dumb little bunnies like you need all the help you can get” He cooed before driving right in. He gave you no time to adjust to the new feeling. Pleasure overtook your body and you began to shake. Chan took this as an opportunity to slide in two fingers and scissor you open. 

“So sensitive little bunny, whatever am I going to do with you?”

“Fuck me please” you cried out so loud you were sure the neighborhood heard

“Cum first, then daddy will fuck you” 

With that he went back in, eating you like a man starved. His fingers picked up the pace, hitting the spot that made you melt over and over again. It was all becoming so much. A familiar knot formed in your stomach and before you could say anything it snapped. You came with a loud moan and shook uncontrollably. No man, woman, or person had ever made you feel like that. Christopher rode out your high with you. Once he knew you were okay he sat on the bed and pulled you into his lap, he just needed to hold you for a second.

“How did that feel little bunny?” he asked while petting down your crazed hair

“So good master” your speech incredibly slurred

“Color baby?”

“Green daddy, so fucking green” you panted, and with that, he tossed you on the bed.

He removed his painfully hard cock from his black dress pants. The tip was bright red and leaking. The size still scared you even if you had taken it before. But you trusted Chan, you knew he wouldn’t hurt you more than you wanted. He placed you in a mating press and slowly entered your soaking entrance. You couldn't help the long drawn-out moans that left you both. Once he was finally seated in you he waited. 

“Beg for it princess, beg for your master to fuck you”

“Please master please fuck me” You whined

“Oh come on now, you can do better than that. Yeah? Be a good little bunny and fucking beg” The glint in his eye and the smile on his face was terrifying in the best way possible.

“Please Daddy please fuck your little bunny! Only you can fuck me. God please just use me. I need it Master, you own my pleasure” Before you could go on he rammed into you.

He set a hard and steady pace. It was clear he knew the difference between fast sex and hard sex. Your eyes couldn’t help but roll back into your head. He knew by how you were clenching around him that you were close.

“Cum” is all he said and you exploded into ecstasy. Unlike before however, he didn't stop.

Instead, his gloved hand captured your wrists and pinned them above you. With his strength, there was no freeing yourself. His other hand reached behind you to grab something. You were about the question him until you heard a humming come to life. The black wand was placed onto your overly sensitive clit. You practically screamed.

“Cant! Sensitive” were the only two words you could create.

“What did I say, princess? What master gives you, you take. I know you can handle this because you are just my dumb little bunny who only wants pleasure from her master. So. Fucking. Take. It” Those last few words were punctuated with incredibly hard thrusts. 

Soon enough another orgasm rockets through you. This time however you clenched down so hard on Chris that he almost lost it right there. He no longer cared about your pleasure and needed to released. Like an animal, he pounded into you, wand long forgotten on the stained sheets until he snapped. He filled you to the brim with his cum and cursed as he pumped the rest of it into you. He pulled back and watched it leak from your fragile frame. You were the most amazing site to see. To him, you were the 8th wonder of the world.

“So good little bunny, so good” He whispered to you as he began to clean you off.

“Thank you Daddy” your voice croaked

“Shhhhh not now little one, I'm just Christopher right now bun” 

“Channie?” you slightly sat up with a sweet questioning expression on your face. He was going to marry you someday.

“Yes princess, Channie is here. Let's get you into a bath baby girl.”

Change Flavor?

[chaisshitposts]

𝐌𝐮𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐞 𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 & 𝐎𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐓𝐨 𝐇𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐀 𝐃𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐒𝐮𝐛𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐜𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐝

hello there! welcome to another blog for the nerdy manifesters who want to feed their logical minds. full disclaimer, these answers are solely based on the research I've done, and if you'd like to do your own research, you should! you are the creator of your assumptions and reality, after all. I will never stop encouraging others to find their own answers. while I was writing this, I had no idea someone had already talked about muscle testing on Tumblr, so, please do check out their post too!

what is muscle testing?

according to my holistic therapy, muscle testing is, "[...] a method of gathering accurate biofeedback on the body’s Physiological and Psychological state by stimulating the muscular system. The body’s cells know their entire history and what they require to regain full health. Muscle Testing is an elegant way to retrieve the knowledge imbedded into the cellular memory of the muscular system." ^1 when muscle tests are performed correctly, it allows the one being tested to have a direct conversation with the subconscious mind, aka the machine that controls the entirety of our body.

how does muscle testing work?

"Our bodies interact and move through the world by contracting and releasing muscles. A Tester will illicit either a contraction or release of certain muscles by applying gentle pressure to the muscular system. This testing unlocks the vast knowledge muscle cells by utilizing the binary contraction-release language of the body.

This simple, yet powerful process, is the first step of energy therapy, and it provides an accurate assessment tool of the client’s condition. This is a major part of Integrated Physical Emotional Clearing (IPEC) Therapy."^2

To better simplify what this means, everything that 'works' has energy flowing through it. You, me, your pets, the plants, and beyond. When doing a simple muscle test, you consciously may have a thought, or ask a question perhaps, and when the muscle test is performed, the subconscious will control your muscles in a way that gives an indication of 'yes', 'no', 'like', 'dislike' through a strong/firm or a weak/struggling muscle response that involves the muscles locking in place or stress causing weakness in the muscles. Energy therapy involves changing beliefs at the subconscious level with the use of energy, there are various energy therapy treatments, however, the one that I know about in a deeper sense is PSYCH-K. Again, I recommend you go and do some research of your own!

why would I muscle test myself or others?

muscle testing is just another application of holistic health, and there have been studies on how it can aid in decision-making, figuring out allergies, as well as what foods your body does and doesn't like. along with that, you are also able to test your subconscious' view on certain things that you are conscious of. bruce h. lipton details in his book 'the biology of belief' that DNA expression is not, "predetermined or unchangeable. Instead, the book details how DNA is influenced by signals emanating from outside the cell. The strongest energetic signals that cells receive are our thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes."^3 which is how we're able to manifest drastic appearance changes with our thoughts, feelings, etc, as well as completely eradicate health issues, pain, and other things of that nature with the use of our thoughts, beliefs, feelings, experiences, etc. the medicine you take for your colds is literally just energy, consider that.

how can I muscle test myself accurately?

there are various tests you can do. there are dozens YouTube instructional videos that can lead you in the right direction! however, my personal favorite is the sway test, which i will discuss a little further down. it takes trust in yourself, however, other people can muscle test you if you'd like a solid proof answer. even so, here are a few videos you can watch to better familiarize yourself with. please be advised, there are various ways to muscle test, I highly recommend that you do all of them and figure out which one feels right for you, your body will know.

The Finger Pad Test

Pendulums for Muscle Testing

7 Different Self Muscle Testing Techniques

how can I muscle test other people accurately?

How To Do Applied Kinesiology Muscle Testing

also, whoever you're testing or if you're being tested, your chin must be parallel to the floor while your eyes are looking downwards for the most accurate testing while your arm is being pushed down. the position of your eyes allows you to fully engage your subconscious without worrying about your conscious getting in the way of accurately testing others or yourself, it's been believed to assist in dissociation.

what are some benefits to muscle testing?

since muscle testing is apart of energy therapy, energy therapy has the ability to benefit all areas of life, including, but not limited to— relationships, family, individual growth, and overall well-being whether that be physical, mentally, or emotionally. if you find yourself struggling with certain thoughts or beliefs, muscle testing allows you to have a conversation with your 'higher self' aka your subconscious.

how does muscle testing correlate to manifestation?

when you perform muscle testing on yourself or others, you're able to connect with your 'higher self' aka your subconscious which uses about 95% of your brain on a daily basis, it knows when a lie is being said as well as the truth. after you've established what 'yes' and 'no' is according to your subconscious by making statements you already know the answer to (Examples: [My name is [insert your name]. I have [color] hair. My name is [fake name that's not yours] I have [insert wrong color hair]), you can then ask anything you want. You can also make statements and see if your subconscious agrees with you or not, that will then allow you to take the necessary steps you need/want in order to become your best self.

how can I do the sway test?

stand up with no distractions (no TV, no music, no outside conversation), feet should be shoulder width apart and planted flat on the floor. or if you are unable to stand, just sit up as straight as you can manage. then, lift your chin up so that it's parallel to the floor, facing forward, and focus your eyes down on the floor. once you're done with that, state "my name is [insert name]", notice which way you lean naturally, make sure you're relaxed, this'll be your 'yes/like/true'. you can do this a couple times to make sure. and then you state "my name is [fake name]," notice which way you lean naturally, this'll be your 'no/dislike/false.' once you've established that, you can ask questions, make statements, and anything else you want, you can even test supplements by holding them in your hand as well as holding certain foods. your body may lean forward, backwards, sideways, etc, it's all based on the individual. please be advised that at any point in time you can retest from your yes/no answers by making the statements above, as many times as you want, just to make sure your yes/no answers are the same. I would recommend that you do this after every question you ask, just to give yourself the satisfaction. but again!! do what feels right and what makes you feel that you're getting the most accurate answers.

what are some ways I can muscle test myself without fear of my tests being inaccurate?

practice whatever test you feel most comfortable with, or have someone else test you if you're unable to fully trust yourself. personally, I find that the sway test is easiest. you can also use a pendulum as a muscle test if you'd like, whatever suits you as the individual is what you should go with.

how can I use muscle testing to heal my limiting beliefs, trauma, and other detrimental things that have been holding me back?

muscle testing gives you a deeper insight on the beliefs currently settling in your unconscious/subconscious mind. truthfully, you'll find out things you probably would have never expected to be there in the first place, hidden away somewhere. who better knows you better than you?

is it an absolute necessity to muscle test myself when trying to create new assumptions/testing whether or not my beliefs have changed on a subconscious level?

nope, not at all! this is essentially the same thing as getting your palm read, your aura read, having a tarot reading, and other things of that nature. It's up to you on whether or not you want to try this out or if you think it'll work in your favor.

how can I use muscle testing and psych-k simultaneously to benefit myself to the max?

in my previous post I provided the instructions on how to do psych-k, and if you fully watch the video you will notice that the demonstration involves muscle testing before and after the psych-k treatment. you can do the muscle testing on yourself with various methods, and then you can figure out how your subconscious stands on your conscious belief/affirmation. if the subconscious likes the affirmation or views it as true, then you're golden. however, if it sees it as false, then the next step would be to ask your subconscious 'Is it safe and appropriate for [name] to balance for this goal?' If the answer is yes, then proceed, if the answer is no, you may have some underlying issues that need to be addressed before that. It's very rare for the subconscious to say 'no,' however.

after receiving a 'yes', you will then ask 'are all systems ready and willing for a balance of this goal?' once you've gotten your answer, you will go on to do PSYCH-K.

after performing the necessary steps to implement this affirmation/goal/ etc into your mind, you may do another muscle test and see where you stand.

what are some questions or affirmations/afformations, and belief statements I could use to muscle test?

I am a master at manifesting.

I can manifest anything I want right in this moment.

I am ready and willing for change.

My desires are already mine.

I am intelligent and capable.

and if you struggle to come up with your own affirmations or questions, check out this video and see if it'll help you!

notes

personally, I've only learned about muscle testing and psych-k within the last three days, and I've already had results. before I started doing this to myself, I did it to my brother and ma (they're my guinea pigs 🧍) and they both experienced some weird tingling sensations in their brains after looping a single affirmation. I decided to do the same for myself, but with self muscle testing. my manifestations are coming in faster than ever just because my subconscious now believes I'm a master manifester. plus, I used it to change another belief I had and I actually started crying like a lil' bitch. 🧍and I'll be honest, yesterday I muscle tested myself and asked 'can I enter the void right now?' and my subconscious said yes. so, there was an attempt on my end where I used the lullaby method, lulling myself to sleep with just the words 'I Am', and when I went to sleep, I didn't enter the void, but I had a dream. I can't entail what the exact details were specifically bc it's personal but it was about my family members who've hurt me in the past, with lots of rage and anger. and when I woke up, an affirmation immediately popped up in my head 'I forgive those who have hurt me and I'm ready to move on.' bruh. this isn't what I consciously wanted, but obviously my subconscious thinks I need to work on this matter before I can ascend and so, I'm gonna trust myself.

gotta be honest, I've read other people's posts where they have had their 'eureka!' 'aha!' moments and their little epiphanies... thought they were all completely bullshit and I was a hater, but gods-- that shit's real, and now I gotta make a change within myself, and it's time for you to do the same.

references + extra resources

Quoted Information

PSYCH-K

The recorded lecture about PSYCH-K (it's an hour long but I think the knowledge is worth it)

Rewrite Your Mind

[jamiesfootball]

Moe stared face to face with the one-eyed rat and contemplated the unfairness of a society wherein your existence relied on caveats.

Sure it’s a rat, but this one’s nice.

Sure it’s a rat, but this one lives indoors all the time and never interferes with anyone else.

Sure it’s a rat, but have you ever considered it has rat friends who really love it?

Keeping it indoors must really help with overpopulation.

No one wanted rats, not really.

Sure, the rights of rats had never been more boldly understood. They were pets like any other, and the people who had them cared for them the same way you would any other pets. But there was a difference between a pet rat, one that lived in a family, and a non-domesticated rat, one that roamed the streets without any intention of settling down.

The metaphor may have gotten away from him.

That was fine.

This rat technically had both its eyes, but the right one was milked over. The presence of functional without any of the appearance. A portion of the world obscured, extra effort needed to make sense of it.

Moe stared face to face with the one-eyed rat and wondered if any of its little rat friends ever conflated something missing with something wrong.

The lads were talking about the Bantr promo ads.

Or they had been, but now the lads were talking about girls.

Used to be that if the topic of girls came up, Moe could rely on Colin to shift the subject, always interrupting the flow of conversation to ask if someone had a comb or some socks or a can of Lynx he could borrow.

After years of being a professional footballer, he should really have basic hygiene dialed in by now, but that was Colin for you.

Also used to be that if it weren’t Colin, Jamie would inevitably derail the conversation. Moe wasn’t sure if it was missing socialisation cues or problems with learning socialisation in general, but Jamie had missed the usual lessons that girls were a topic ‘men’ should enjoy discussing, and were therefore worth discussing for all of the some time until Moe wanted to put his head through a wall.

Used to be that you couldn’t pay Jamie to stay on topic. 

One second it was girls, then it was the girls on Lust Conquers All, then it was lads on Lust Conquers All, then it was breakfast-themed alcoholic beverages, then breakfast cereals, then some new snack he’d seen when he was getting petrol and had anyone else tried it yet, then it was what kind of fabrics everyone preferred in their cars, then he was off on whether or not he should get tested for allergies because after he’d switched to a new detergent, his sheets were making him itchy.

That had been the time Moe insisted on helping him test for bed bugs. Jamie had taken him up on his answer because as insensible as he could be, he took hygiene seriously, and also because Isaac had threatened to kick him out of the dressing room forever if it turned out Jamie was infected with tiny creepy crawlies.

As soon as they arrived at Jamie’s house, Big Ben – a fat orange cat with a grumpy face and a Gucci collar – came up to say hello, yowling in their faces until Jamie bent down to give him ear scratches.

Both cat and owner followed Moe room to room. Moe diligently laid down the test strips while Big Ben twined around his legs. Jamie talked his ear off about Jurgen Klopp’s Gegenpress tactics and whether it was a strategy Ted might be open to trying.

(He even pronounced all the words correctly; he must really be serious.)

That was the other thing he’d noticed lately – it used to be that no conversation left around Jamie could go long without returning to football. When they’d signed Zava, Isaac had actually called a team-minus-Jamie meeting to discuss how best to prevent Jamie from cornering the legend himself with aggressively pointed questions about obscure matches no one remembered.

To Moe’s knowledge, that hadn’t happened yet. Without being asked, Jamie respected Zava’s space far more than he respected anyone else’s, and he hadn’t gone on a proper football rant in a while.

Now it spewed out of him like a dam unleashed.

Equally demanding of attention was Big Ben, who threw himself at Moe’s feet with his paws curled up in front of his chest in a false act of supplication that Moe wasn’t going to fall for. 

When Moe stepped around him, the cat repeated the gesture, adding a plaintive mewl for good measure. After his third attempt at gaining Moe’s attention, Jamie scooped the cat up – an impressive feat, considering it was the size of a small blimp.

Jamie cooed at the gargantuan ball of hair, “Cut that out. He’s trying to help us out, King.”

The cat purred in contentment, already satisfied.

That was the difference between cats and rats. The cat could have what it wanted, because its needs were understood.

A big acceptable tomcat; a man amongst men.

A man, full stop.

In the end, Jamie didn’t have bedbugs. Just delicate skin and bad taste in overpriced household products.

After educating Jamie on how the phosphates found in laundry detergent had devastated oceanic ecosystems around the globe, Jamie and his cat solemnly promised to look up Moe’s recommendations. Both wore matching, befuddled expressions and a sort of distracted interest, as if Moe was a creature that, once gone, would cease to be more than a novelty. A one-time interruption in a life that would spin rather much the same once he was gone as it had before he arrived.

Or he’d let the metaphor get away from him again.

That was fine.

Moe went home.

Remy had a cage for when Moe was away. The first thing he did whenever he returned was open the door to his rat’s home. Together they roamed the flat, clueless in communication but free to do whatever they wanted.

What Remy wanted to do the most was curl up on Moe’s shoulder, making a nest between him and the couch cushions while he dozed into a peaceful rat nap.

Moe might not matter to the world, but Remy mattered to Moe.

With Remy for company, Moe had everything he wanted.

No one’s making the rat participate.

In no way was Bantr a worse option as a sponsor than Cerithium Oil. Not in a million years. The damage Cerithium Oil had done to the planet would stretch on forever – there would never again be people in the world not affected by their disregard.

But at least Cerithium Oil had never given a damn whether Moe Bumbercatch was ‘single.’

He hadn’t wanted to be a part of the new Bantr promo in the first place, but group advertising didn’t work on an opt-in basis. Everyone at the club did their bit knowing that somewhere down the line someone else would do the same for them. The team relied on each other that way. For every Sam Obisanya and Dani Rojas and Jamie Tartt who racked in money for the children at the annual gala, there were a dozen smaller PR stunts that could be handled by one of the any-players.

Moe didn’t mind being one of the any-players. What he minded was the arbitrary nature by which his participation had been decided. He disliked the sensation of being ‘singled’ out.

Moe put up with dozens of small slights every day.

Like the ‘mens’ label on the toilets by the dressing room, even though they were the only team that used this part of the stadium and therefore had no reason for the specificity. The culturally acceptable amount of sexual innuendos surrounding men’s fitness whenever it came time to do interviews. Team movie night, which purported to be about emotional release but usually revolved around rom-coms or media geared towards children (many of which also featured romance.) Most days these weren’t more than a prick against the skin, a bristle of discomfort that lingered more in memory than in lasting hurt.

Richmond was a good club, with a disproportionate amount of good people and a host of benefits to make up for it. 

One of said benefits of Richmond: the talk around the dressing rooms tended to be more palatable than what he’d dealt with in past dressing rooms.

How unfortunate that past performance was not an indicator of future results.

Zoreaux held up his hands to fend off the jeering. “All I’m saying is that when this shirt comes off? There’s no need for words. I let my body do the talking.”

He invited booing, really. Only Dani approved, nodding sagely as if this was great advice (which made a certain amount of sense; Moe couldn’t imagine any advice would make Dani less successful at winning people over.)

Once towels had been thrown and collected, the attention turned to the next victim in line.

Isaac elbowed Colin. “How about you? What’s your pitch for getting a woman to stick out a date after she’s taken a spin in your car?”

Colin took the good-natured jab with a corner kick smile. “Keep it simple. Go for drinks, catch a film, and if the movie sucks, I’ll pay for your Uber home.”

This was treated to a round of chuckles and a few outcries of ‘lame!’

Personally, Moe appreciated his teammate’s brand of dry self-deprecation. Colin gave off the sense that he was someone who knew himself well enough to make a joke of it—a quality Moe certainly couldn’t say he’d cultivated.

Hard to cultivate in sand when you were meant to have soil.

“Hey Jamie, what about you?” Colin asked, making a grabby motion towards the Lynx cupboard. “Did you think of something to say for the ads? Or are you just going to take your shirt off?”

A can of Lynx was tossed across the room with little regard to aim. Colin fumbled the catch. 

Languid with his knees pulled up on the bench, Jamie’s smirk did nothing to dissuade Moe’s notion that he was a large, acceptable feline in his natural habitat. That said, his answer came surprisingly devoid of the self-congratulatory manner with which they were all accustomed.

“Date’s not about me, is it?” he said simply. “I’m not doing it for me. I’m just there to show her a good time.”

Some thoughtful hums and considering ‘good points’ went up around the room. Personally Moe thought that sounded lonely. His own experiences in dating were limited, but he was pretty sure that fun was the point.

Hence why he’d stopped doing it.

As if sensing his dissatisfaction, Jamie narrowed in on him. “Moe, how about you? What wisdom are you bringing to the women of Bantr?”

Sometimes, he had to remind himself that he was used to slights.

Moe shrugged into his jacket. “Haven’t decided.”

Some of the joking demeanour slid off Jamie’s shoulders. His uneven eyebrows puckered together, the slit on the right making the effect of his expression more severe.  “What d’you mean you haven’t decided? We film tomorrow.”

“Means I haven’t decided on anything I want to say to help our corporate overlords squeeze more money out of our increasingly impoverished society.”

“Ah, we can help you figure something out!” Dani offered. He seemed excited by the prospect. “What do you like to do on dates?”

A tingling sensation spread into his hands. “I don’t like dates.”

Colin tried to share a smile with him. “Too capitalist for you, boyo?”

“Who the fuck doesn’t like dates?” asked Zoreaux, perplexed and usually kind and now-

Moe sidestepped the scrutiny. “It doesn’t matter, because we’re not looking for real dates. We’re just selling the idea that we could be looking for dates. It’s an illusion.”

“He’s right,” Colin added. Heads swivelled his way. “It’s not real. If one of us was seeing someone, this wouldn’t even be considered cheating. It’s just doing a job.”

Moe raised an eyebrow; Colin was hardly someone he’d describe as cynical, but that response was practically dripping with- with-

With something he couldn’t place. He’d come back to it later.

“Is that the problem then?” Goodman asked, throwing an arm around Moe’s shoulders. He sounded positively chuffed. “Finally found someone and you don’t want to share?”

“No.”

“Ooh, I think we hit a nerve,” O’Brien chortled.

Moe pushed Goodman’s arm away. “Sure did.”

Once again, Jamie’s confusion was a mirror image of his cluelessness kitty cat’s when Moe refused to follow the script. “Hey, man, we were just messing around.”

He reminded himself that the slights didn’t matter, because it wasn’t like he’d told anyone that he was being slighted.

He also reminded himself that the rat can do whatever it wants.

Because Moe didn’t want to make an exception of himself. He didn’t want an exceptional place, a place he carried around with him where people would edit their words in his presence and continue unfiltered the moment he left. He wanted a life free of caveats. A normal life, in a normal place. He wanted the place he was already in to not have been de facto claimed by the majority. He didn’t want to speak up only to defend himself against accusations that he was spoiling their fun; he just wanted somewhere where his inclusion could be felt without the stinging sensation that he was being patronised – that the world had built around him a pocket, instead of letting him choose to crawl inside.

He wanted to be more than a rat in a pocket.

The rat wanted a home too.

He fled the dressing room.

Call that rat behaviour.

The way Moe figured it, he’d developed an aura of mystery enough that his exit would either be seen with a classy amount of intrigue or with a neon sign glaring on his back. There was no in-between.

“Moe, wait up!”

The approaching canter of Jamie indicated that the answer lay towards the option cast in a garish light.

Jamie slowed to an awkward stop. “Hey, man.”

Some hits happened so often he hardly noticed anymore; today wasn’t one of those days.

“Sorry if we were prying too much. Didn’t mean anything by it you know,” Jamie explained, in a tone so sharpened with sincerity and glass that it pierced Moe sharply between his ribs.

He liked Jamie, really. He loved everybody on the team. It was the world he didn’t like, and hardly their fault that the world extended beyond what their eyes could see.

“Yeah, I get that,” he sighed. His hands still felt tingly, and he pinched his nose. “Just not up for it today, alright?” Or any day.

Jamie bobbed his head in agreement – only to stop suddenly, his head tilting as he studied Moe. With growing wariness, Moe watched his hands slip under the front of his shirt, twisting the fabric around his fist. It was a motion Moe had caught himself mirroring a few times, usually when he needed a little extra oomph to push through some discomfort.

Anxiety creeped into his chest.

With entirely too much focus, Jamie spoke carefully, “I’m just saying, it’s none of our business if you’re seeing a girl. Or anyone.”

He added the last bit in a hushed voice.

The missile missed its target by miles. Nevertheless, Moe felt dizzy from how close it’d come to contact.

“No,” he answered. Because what?

The confused tomcat expression returned to Jamie’s face. Without giving Moe a second to catch up, he changed topics completely.

“You know those two girls Dani was seeing?”

Moe nodded, feeling very much like a trap was being laid before him.

Jamie bounced on his toes, full of nervous energy as his eyes flitted around. “And you know he’s still seeing them, yeah? Like, the three of them are still together.”

Moe did not know that. Why just that morning, Dani had leaned up against Zoreaux, phone in hand, bemoaning how much more successfully his friend’s Bantr profile attracted matches (an opinion that only belonged to Dani.)

Jamie shrugged. “Just saying, we already got an extra non-single guy signed up. Seems fair then that one of the single guys should get to sit this one out.”

If he was dizzy before, now he found himself fighting back a wave of nausea. For someone swatting through the dark, Jamie had gotten remarkably close at hitting the heart of the matter.

Heart cowering in his throat, he let the tail of the truth slip loose:

“Not single.”

For once, Jamie didn’t press. He went unusually still, and he blinked slowly at Moe like-

The fuck, was he intentionally copying his cat?

Moe sighed. His own hands fisted into the front of his shirt, where they could tremble instead of his voice. “Single implies the existence of a double. Or a triple. Or any further number of consenting adults, I presume.” He shrugged. “Point is I don’t see myself like that.”

It was the closest he’d ever come to wriggling into the light.

“Oh,” Jamie said, an odd hint of wonder slipping under his tone.

Moe looked at him.

Really looked.

Beneath Jamie’s shocked expression, something understanding crawled beneath the floorboards.

The rat stared back at the cat, confused at how the trap had snapped on them both.

The cat stared back, perhaps not even realising they were stuck in a trap.

Perhaps in looking for a mirror, he’d ignored any signs of familiarity.

Moe found himself saying, “You know that time we all went to that pet sanctuary? When Isaac got Bun-Bun?”

“When Sam got tricked into getting two snakes?”

Moe nodded. “I went back later and adopted a rat.”

Jamie perked up, tossing contemplation and personal space aside in favour of crowding up close like he intended to twine himself around Moe’s legs. “Can I see it?”

Moe retreated. “I don’t have it on me?”

“No shit.” Jamie rolled his eyes. “But you got pictures, don’t you?”

He said it with the self-assurance of someone who believed that taking thousands of photos of your pets every day was normal activity.

Moe shrugged and took out his phone. He did take a lot of pictures.

Heart in hand, he showed Jamie his phone. “This is Remy.”

In a remarkable display of restraint, Jamie lasted about five adorable rat photos before whipping out pictures of his cat.

One by one, the team filed out of the dressing room while Jamie sat next to him on a bench in the hallway, the two of them swiping through their favourite pictures. Jamie kept insisting he make Remy his own Insta so that he could show him off to the world.

Cat behaviour.

Isaac gave them an approving nod as he passed. Colin watched curiously but didn’t say anything. Goodman and O’Brien attempted some apologetic sign language, the success of which somehow captured the meaning, ‘Sorry for our impudence and thoughtlessness. Next team dinner, first round’s on us, yeah?’

That’s how you won rats over: you offered them cheese. You placated them with drinks. You won them over by dangling something they wanted in front of them, and then when they crawled out of hiding, you picked them up and held them to the light.

Jamie blew out a breath and flicked off his phone. “Alright. I better get going, or this one’s going to scratch my eyes out for dinner being late. How bout you and this ad then? If you want, I can tell them you couldn’t make it.”

Moe tested the light. “Depends on what kind of excuse you’re going to give.”

“Nothing, I suppose.” Jamie shrugged like it was that simple. “Unless you want me to?”

“Not really,” Moe confessed. “But they’ll probably ask anyway. Like it’s their business.”

“It is a business, mate,” Jamie pointed out – for a second time that day, one of Moe’s teammates demonstrating an uncharacteristic amount of cynicism. “How about….”

He chewed on his lip, feline attention turned to a rodent’s problem.

“…How about I tell ‘em you had a rat emergency?”

“A what?”

“It’ll confuse them, won’t it? ‘Cause no one knows what it means. Sounds exotic and shit. Could mean anything from ‘my rat’s escaped’ to ‘my rat’s got off it’s leash and into the petunias and it won’t come out’ to ‘my rat’s got a sexy photoshoot coming up and I need to knit him a tiny outfit.’” 

Sounded like a good life, the version Jamie made up in his head.

Then again, Moe had never had the opportunity to break out his size 14 knitting needles.

Jamie waited for his answer with all the eager impatience of a cat with its paws curled up against its chest. Attention-seeking behaviour. False supplication.

Something that had needs easier to understand, yet every bit as trapped in a cage.

Moe supposed you drew cats out the same way you would any creature. You offered them care, respect, affection when they needed it – space when they wanted it. You offered them freedom.

Maybe you offered to sit in the trap next to them, because it was unfair to make them do it alone.

The metaphor may have gotten away from him.

It really was fine.

“Might show up anyways. It’s for the team, isn’t it?” Moe decided. He nudged Jamie in the side. “Besides, this way if I change my mind halfway through, I can lie and say I need your help with the rat emergency.”

Never one to stay on topic, Jamie turned to Moe with bright eyes and asked, “Have you ever thought of dressing him up?”

“What? Remy?”

“Yeah! Saw this picture online the other day of a little rat dressed up for the tropics. It had sunglasses and a tiki cup, and it was chowing down on a peanut that barely fit in its hands. I’m telling you, you’ve never seen a rat so happy.”

Moe should not have expected better from someone who dressed his cat in Gucci.

But he didn’t hate the thought.

The rat was not alone.