#Personally I like to write original characters not based on me in any way instead!

[koimethehorizon]

DELTARUNE: A Masochistic Reading of Noelle Holiday and Trends of Masochistic Invalidation

(MASSIVE SPOILERS for all of Deltarune!)

To preface beforehand… everything I’m about to discuss is purely from my own reading, observations, research, and knowledge from friends within alternative communities (S&M and kink) while having very little personal experience with those communities myself. If this makes everything I’m about to discuss feel fraudulent, you are valid for assuming so. Frankly, I’ve been musing over whether I should even be the person writing this analysis. But as a fan of the Deltarune community and especially this character, I felt as if this topic has been disappointingly under-discussed, and I wanted to put any of my pennies into this bucket in hopes of finding those voices. If anyone with real knowledge and lives within these communities happens to read this and finds any of my observations off-base, please inform me in this post’s replies or tumblr asks. I yearn for more analysis on this topic and this character from your voices instead.

Art: @slugg-it-out

Last week... uh, wait 2 weeks ago (shit), I asked this kinda out of nowhere:

“Is Noelle Holiday a masochist?”

My answer? Yes!

… but I want to rephrase the question slightly. Noelle is a minor, so linking her to masochism, even when specifically talking about S&M relationship dynamics and psychosexual analysis is pretty touchy. 

Instead, let me rephrase it this way:

“What observations can we gather from Noelle’s arc under a masochistic reading?”

I don’t think I have to elaborate that Noelle, at the very least, has masochistic tendencies. All of her wiki pages say it, fan communities make constant jokes about it, and thanks to the voters last week, I know a decent majority also agree.

thanks everybody!

So why the heck am I talking about this like some big deal if this is mostly agreed upon?

I’ve combed across tons of Noelle analysis from psychological profiles, her metatextual relevance to Deltarune, the shipping wars, etc. I’ve scoured quite a bit ever since Ch 2… yes, for that long.

And to speak frankly… I think a lot of fans aren’t willing to take Noelle’s masochism seriously.

Not just in the “oh isn’t it funny that she wants to be stepped on” kinda way (though those memes are still very funny), but sometimes in a “Noelle’s masochism is a character-flaw” sort of way. 

And I have some concerns that I’ll get into later about that…

(btw, I’m only linking comments that are genuinely in good faith in this post, I’d rather not draw attention to the malicious ones.)

Here’s my piece: I don’t think Noelle is down bad just for the fun of making thirst jokes, I strongly believe that Noelle was explicitly written to be a repressed adolescent exploring her masochistic tendencies. 

Originally, when I finished Chapter 2, I had many thoughts on the Weird Route that I couldn’t quite put into a sensitive reading because I had no concept of masochism as both a real kink and especially not for artistic analysis.

But since those 4 years, I’ve gotten a bit more familiar with queer communities I’ve only started to see more and more things I hadn’t before.

Let’s check out two major introspective moments from Chapter 2 again:

Ferris Wheel dialogue:

Noelle and Kris below the City:

The reasons for where masochism comes from are varied, and I want to be very careful with making any oversimplifications… but man…

Noelle’s background and the specific way she words her introspective thoughts sound remarkably familiar. Let’s go over Noelle’s traits one by one and connect them to common sentiments shared about the appeal of S&M dynamics (not sexual activity but the more relationships between them) and the psychology of its participants:

"At first, I cried, but now… it’s like… watching them… makes me feel… comforted?" "It’s scary, but I can just turn it off, right? Now it’s mostly… people, that are scary. Haha."

Noelle seeks out extreme stimuli like being scared from horror movies, pranks, and deep diving disturbing video game secrets. Noelle expresses that the reason she loves these situations is because she knows that they aren’t real and that by the end of them, she’ll be ok.

S&M and kink participants create “scenes” in which people act out extreme, specific scenarios not simply to blindly experience pain or intensity, but to willingly engage in a fictitious version of their desires that in real cases would be dangerous to be in.

"I know we never found anything interesting back there… I mostly remember… crying because I was scared." "But for some reason I feel… nostalgic thinking about it... I guess I didn’t mind being scared if it meant… someone would comfort me."

Noelle also associates fear with a source of nostalgic comfort. This stems from long-gone days where she would frequently be scared, then comforted by someone she loves at the end of these experiences.

There are many cases of masochists seeking out scenes that are reminiscent of the punishment they had received in the past. Some even being re-enactments of deeply traumatic experiences, only this time, THEY CHOOSE to relive it with someone compassionate and will stop when they say so. (this is where safe words come from)

"(Sigh. Kris is the only one who knows how weird I am. It's not fair y'know?! Everyone knows how weird YOU are!)

Noelle lives with a lot of self-loathing and powerlessness in an emotionally neglectful household where she needs to hide her feelings and interests from her mother constantly.

Many masochists grew up in religious or puritanical households that forced them to bottle up their feelings. Some of these feelings transform into a sadism that is turned inward as a way to punish themselves for failing the expectations their environment placed on them.

"You’re the… good kind of scary. You aren’t afraid to… break the rules, y’know?" "… I wish I could do crazy stuff like you."

Noelle spends an exhaustive amount of time helping other people, despite the emotional baggage she already holds. In moments of introspection, Noelle tends to beat herself up internally about being incapable of rebelling and seeking adventure on her own.

While researching this topic, I came across a lot of beautifully written comments from people who expressed that masochism was a way to achieve freedom from themselves. By having someone else occupy their thoughts, they were free from their own intrusive thoughts, from controlling their own bodily sensations, and to have to stop worrying about themselves for a fleeting moment. 

While there are situations where Noelle will often confuse her boundaries and let people walk over her, she’s still at her happiest and most fulfilled when assisting people who genuinely appreciate her.

One of the biggest emotional appeals of masochists creating scenes for others, is a pride in serving as a conduit for other people to explore reactions that they weren’t allowed to share with anyone else beforehand.

And I haven’t even mentioned Susie yet!

Noelle fantasizes “scenes” with Susie, even to a degree that when she witnesses Susie’s bullying as an outsider, even to her childhood friend, she wishes she could be the one taking the humiliation instead.

Noelle is into people like Susie for a very specific quality. A person she considers “the good kind of scary”. Someone who is fiercely independent, who uses intimidation as an act, but comes out as emotional and kind-hearted when simply talked to.

And hell, for the Kriselle or the Krusielle crowd, Noelle seems to find these same qualities in Kris as well.

Art: @Kuroto_Draw

Their entire childhood relationship was based on similar foundations.

Kris used to scare Noelle through play-tearing out their heart, jumpscaring her from under her sheets, and covering themselves in blood like a zombie. A majority of these pranks were done innocently, and if any were to go too far, Kris would apologize or protect her from real danger.

Even if Noelle doesn’t have romantic feelings for Kris, they undeniably played a big role in forming experiences that Noelle now associates with companionship and desire.

Real practices of S&M or sadomasochism aren’t about inflicting/experiencing pain just for the sake of it. The point is to create a consensual relationship with the awareness that they ultimately have control over whatever is done to them.

All parties in an S&M dynamic MUST trust each other to only go as far as they need to.

It’s consent from all parties that makes the relationship legitimate.

This is the most important fact to keep in mind moving forward. Remember this.

If you’ve read up to this point, I imagine (hopefully) this all sounds plenty reasonable… except…

At the cost of undermining everything I typed up beforehand… again, it’s tricky to just label Noelle as a masochist and call it a day because she’s a teenager. 

Teenagers are famously incapable of understanding themselves, second-guessing their identities and orientations constantly. It’s still a developmental phase. Noelle is especially more emotionally stunted because her home life thrives on her masking through a jolly smile.

She’s barely had the chance to figure out or commit to her interests, so there’s no way to tell if she’ll still like these things or even still like Susie if they ever get into a serious relationship.

So… I just owned myself, right? Essay over?

Well… I have more evidence, but unfortunately, we’re going to have to get into the weird route. Where, unfortunately, these traits are far more obvious.

While this next part might be a tough read, I implore you to sit through as I think some of the MOST important messages of this reading are attained in this route.

(Content Warning: Topics of real-life abuse and toxic power dynamics.)

To me, the most disturbing aspect of the Weird Route isn’t the mass murder, it being the path to an alternative, darker ending, or even Noelle becoming a second player vessel or whatever.

Instead, it's the raw portrayal of an abusive romantic relationship.

When combined with the reading I’ve been using for Noelle so far…

In an extremely twisted way, the Weird Route acts as a sadomasochistic awakening for Noelle. And by selecting very specific options, the Player conditions her existing tendencies to make her unable to distinguish between consent and abuse.

Let’s look over the details:

While Noelle ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT ENJOY THE PLAYER’S ABUSE OF HER, she seems to increasingly become more and more willing to inflict harm on Darkners with the justification that doing so will make her more independent. All with a frozen smile on her face that only breaks when encountering Berdly.

While sadism and masochism are different in definition, a lot of masochism is defined to be sadism inflicted onto oneself. One reason for masochism I cited earlier is that some people desire pain and punishment because they feel like they deserve it. In this case, I feel as if Noelle is redirecting the sadism inflicted onto herself onto the Cyber City mobs once the Player has convinced her that this is all just a game.

Throughout Ch 2’s Weird Route, Noelle is subject to so much stress that she enters a trance-like state where she surrenders her mind, her memories, and even her physical sensations to our commands. In spite of everything, she interprets her predicament as freeing.

“To some, masochism was a way to achieve freedom from themselves. By having someone else control them, they were free from intrusive thoughts, from controlling their own bodily sensations, and to have to stop worrying about themselves for a fleeting moment.”

While freezing enemies on the way, you need to take Noelle to Spamton’s door, which she excitedly calls creepy… but also nostalgic. It’s very likely she is remembering the times she, Kris, Asriel, and Dess used to explore scary places together.

Again, some masochists seek out scenes that depict traumatic memories as a way of re-living them with a higher degree of control over those events. Noelle says that on each of these adventures, she would usually just cry and run away, but on the Weird Route, SHE is the one literally breaking the rules of the world and deciding the course of events.

Post Snowgrave, Kris returns to her to apologize. Then promises that none of it will happen again and to stay away. Instead, Noelle obsesses over Kris all day, even seeing her crush on Susie, as secondary. When they finally get to talk again, they both start at the end of a long couch, but as the conversation progresses, Noelle tenderly scoots all the way over to lean on Kris… despite them being the physical entity that she had just experienced a day of pain, trauma, and abuse from. 

…

Ok… let me cut off from the disturbing shit for just a second…

…And tangent onto something else I find very kinda disturbing.

Let’s talk about the weird ways anti-Suselle discussion incidentally or even purposely delegitimizes Noelle’s crush BECAUSE of her masochistic fantasies.

Art: @the_weaver

I’m not waging a shipping war here! It’s fine if Suselle isn’t your cup of tea, and strictly writing-related reasons are all valid. But I gotta go over some of the weirder sentiments I’ve run into during the agonizing post-Ch 2 era.

“How can Noelle still be into Susie knowing all the red flags? She even saw Kris get bullied badly and did nothing!” “Noelle barely knows Susie, what if she got into serious trouble by ending up with a rotten person?” “Noelle is unhealthily obsessed with Susie, it’s almost dehumanizing how so much of her attraction is based off of humiliation fantasies.” “Does Noelle even like Susie or just the idea of her?”

Here’s the thing… I actually don’t disagree with these comments in a broad sense.

It’s true that Noelle is already a very defenseless, self-sabotaging person who is seeking out a dangerous girl. A bully whom most of her classmates are terrified of being approached by.

It’s also true that Noelle knows so little about the real Susie that a lot of her expectations are definitely idealized. 

Susie’s bully persona was always a facade to keep other people away. And now that she’s become comfortable, no longer needing to use it… it’s reasonable to wonder if Noelle might have the wrong idea about Susie.

However, I feel like some of these sentiments, even if I’m certain 90% of are just out of goodwill and protectiveness for Noelle’s sake. The Deltarune community is dominated with queer support and I don’t mean to imply the community or these comments are bigoted.

However, I think a lack of sensitivity in addressing masochistic personality traits comes dangerously close to invalidating Noelle’s autonomy in a similar way to how femmes who participate in kink and identify with submission are often policed online.

Because of the misguided notions that masochists just LOVE pain and abuse for the sake of it, people are immediately discomforted whenever they hear of people engaging in S&M dynamics. Leading to shit like this:

“This is why bullies and abusers feel comfortable in their spaces.” “Victims are enabling these situations to occur more” “These helpless girls are going to end trapped in an abusive relationship or even dead” “Bad actors love that you let them take advantage of you” “Masochism is a mental illness, you need serious therapy”

Trust me, I relate heavily to being worried for other people and not wanting anyone to get seriously hurt… but these comments exist as a microcosm of people who are unwilling to see kinks and S&M as a valid experience.

The more comfortable people get invalidating masochism as an illness, the easier it is to distance yourself from them through jokes and shame.

And the real sad thing is: It’s easy to ignore victim blaming done by incoherent misogynists… but it’s polarizing to address victim blaming performed by overprotective online policing.

Oftentimes, hate speech and concern can seem indistinguishable.

…I’ve been struggling to write this part of the analysis for quite a while because one of the most upsetting realizations I made was that the Weird Route could be interpreted as fuel for victim blaming directed towards masochists and submissive femmes. 

After all, why should people like Noelle be trusted with her freedom when we have palpable proof that she will fail to assert herself when real danger shows up?

The fine line I’ve been trying to balance is that Noelle IS mentally unwell. Noelle’s masochistic tendencies ARE rooted from trauma.

And in a way, Queen and Rudy DO have a point that Noelle is deeply vulnerable to outside forces and needs watchful protection.

But I’ll repeat again, S&M is NOT a willing acceptance of violence and abuse. Legitimate S&M dynamics are found on consent!

The Weird Route is a cautionary tale on relationships that form when consent isn’t part of the equation.

Noelle becomes trapped into this abusive relationship NOT because of her masochistic tendencies, but because she has NEVER been able to explore a romantic relationship or her tendencies and hasn’t properly established her boundaries.

The moment Kris (the Player) returns to their commanding voice and physically endangers her, her longing for Kris is GONE.

I’m certain that Toby knew and predicted potential bad faith readings that could’ve been applied to Noelle’s behavior on this route. Which is why Noelle’s background is so absurdly detailed and specific.

Let’s go over the REAL necessary context that led to this:

Noelle lives in an unchanging, puritanical household trapped eternally in Christmas. Enforced by a very collectivist, matriarchal family dynamic that, as the next woman of the family, she must live up to. 

It’s almost to a comical degree with Carol preserving artifacts of the traumatic Dremurr/Holiday split scattered all over the house to remind her every day of what they’ve lost.

Carol is not just a strict mother but also the Mayor of Hometown.

She’s extremely neglectful of Noelle and is told to be “hard on her” whenever she’s around.

Despite being a valedictorian, a pillar of her community, giving gifts to her, and staying put, Carol never seems to show any open appreciation for her. To her, the success and safety of her daughter is more important than a loving relationship.

Perhaps to avoid ever having to relive what happened with Dess...

Noelle just seems scared of her. She won’t argue back or complain even when she is locked out of her house for hours. And throughout all her life, she’s had to hide her interests and relationships from her.

Rudy is at most a mediator of these domestic issues, but doesn’t fix them.

He even neglects serious matters by hiding behind smiles and jokes. And a lot of her inability to admit her emotions could be inspired by her father.

Noelle is also living with some PTSD or even guilt over her sister’s disappearance. Kris, Dess, and Asriel have vanished from her lives one way or another, and with Rudy bedridden, she’s running out of people to love.

Is it any surprise that Noelle, once The Player promises her some liberation, wearing the skin of a person she yearns to connect with again, and who also happens to know the ins and outs of Noelle’s psychology, easily folds to them?

The Weird Route is the consequence of restrictive parenting, emotional neglect, and most of all, invalidation. 

This is why talking about this is so important. And it’s why I’ve spent this ungodly amount of time researching this just to talk about a pixelated deer girl.

I didn't write this. But it is facts.

Even if I’m just completely bananas on Noelle’s tendencies being a serious plot point and even if it’s kind of ridiculous to diagnose fictional characters that we literally cannot question or talk properly to…

Fandoms read personality traits onto characters based both on their writing AND vibes. I mean look at the trans Noelle debate that popped up a few years back.

Brainrot Artistic analysis isn’t about scientifically dissecting the exact psychoanalysis bucket we can put a fictional character into, but the RELATABILITY of the struggles of fictional characters, where we can base entire readings off of.

If we can find valuable connections and lessons in fictional characters, even if we just hallucinated those intentions, those conversations can help us connect to ourselves and other people.

If even someone who only has a broad understanding of masochism can somehow see Noelle as a masochist, even if Toby never intended this (even though I think he did), it is still a valid reading.

And if I’m allowed to be slightly more inflammatory, popular characters like Noelle from a massively popular game, consequentially often have their less relatable qualities erased from discussion and headcanons. I’ve seen it time and time again with degrees of insensitivity.

It’s been done with Noelle, and you’ve definitely seen it with Kris.

46 citations! You didn't want to leave them a chance, huh?!! Did you feel anger? Hate? They were bleeding, begging for you to get out of their body. But you misgendered them! Again and again!

People should be allowed to explore their sexuality and seek relationships that they can grow from. That’s how a person finds their threshold for consent in the first place.

And just because Noelle has a weird, fetishistic love for someone, doesn’t mean it’s not real or worth delving into or questioning herself.

But here’s what I hope I’m trying to get across here is that, and hopefully for the FINAL time:

IT’S ALL ABOUT CONSENT!!! Consent is the difference between valid romantic experiences vs straight-up abuse.

That’s how marginalized people and people who have felt invalid their entire life FIND their communities. Through LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS of trial and error!

Maybe the relationship will shatter. Maybe these desires will be preyed on by an abuser. And for Noelle’s case, maybe by seeking this danger, she’ll experience another traumatic experience and shatter her already broken conscience further.

But here’s the thing. 

How often does Noelle ever show confidence about what she feels? How often does she act on anything for her own sake? 

If Noelle’s desires can be exploited, doesn’t the blame fall on the aggressor and not the person who had the right to seek them out?

And lo and behold, Susie’s actually pretty chill after all! 

And by Chapter 4, I think you’d be delusional to still assume Susie doesn’t reciprocate some feelings back.

She gets so distracted by finding out if Suselle is canon that Kris can go down a large hallway, undergo an entire art therapy session, and eat that sweet sweet moss without her noticing.

Knowing how little Noelle ever allows herself to express her own interests, I think it’s actually healthier to just let her find out herself and see what truly makes her happy.

And let’s be perfectly honest - teenage relationships almost never hold up anyways. Suselle, Kriselle, …….Berdelle? It doesn't matter.

Regardless of who she ends up with at the end of Deltarune, it’s not guaranteed to be positive or even last… but the learning experience absolutely will. 

AKA: Don’t be a Carol.

PS. Holy [$?%!] this took way too goddamn long.

Everything I’ve said here is honestly very surface-level and more a result of my distant fascination for all sorts of people across marginalized spaces. 

I don’t know these people well enough to truly connect to them, but the best I’d like to offer is to explain why they are so interesting. At the very least, this character gave me a great excuse to delve into this topic further.

But for now, I need to give irl serious topics like this a break, I’ll be back to more fun posts until then.

[megafaunatic]

Hello! I’ve always really respected your taste, so I was wondering if you had any book or fic recommendations? Any genre/trope/fandom is cool, as long as you’re enjoying it!

OOHOHHGHGHGHH YES

wow first of all thank u for saying u respect my taste. what a kind thing to say about someone 😌💛

second of all LETS SEE (CRACKS OPEN MY RECENTLY READ LIST*)

THIS IS A LONG POST. SORRY

BOOK RECS

obviously there's something wrong with me and i've been reading nonstop discworld books at the exclusion of almost all else for almost a calendar year now. in my defense it was 2024 and then as if that weren't enough it became 2025. so if you haven't read any discworld yet and you want to know what the hell i'm talking about, you should give it a shot! i wrote a whole big long post about where you should start based on thematic interests etc but recently i've revised my position to a much simpler one which is adults should start with THE TRUTH and go from there

have you read WHEN THE ANGELS LEFT THE OLD COUNTRY by sacha lamb? you should read when the angels left the old country by sacha lamb. every time i am forced to read something that sucks and is bad, i am compelled to perform a palate cleanser by reading something that rocks and is good instead, which is wtaltoc by sacha lamb. wtaltoc was written by someone who was like What if good omens were jewish, and transgender, and gay, and concerned with labor struggles in early 20th century new york

the book that i read in the last couple years that i've spent the most time thinking about in non-fandom-y ways is THE FOX WIFE by yangsze choo! REALLY interesting juicy characters and super fun setting (mostly china + japan in ~1910, very end of the qing dynasty / mid meiji era - so things are changing very rapidly in both countries in many ways). extremely compelling depiction of fox spirits! the author reads the audiobook herself which i found really pleasing and listenable

another total banger audiobook experience was RED RABBIT by alex grecian, read by john pirhalla - road trip horror in the old west (but like, relatively light horror). GREAT ensemble cast with extremely distinct voices (esp as read by pirhalla who does great accents), interesting and nuanced treatment of "magic is real" / "some of you mfers are just racist and misogynist"

nghi vo's SINGING HILLS CYCLE is obviously absolutely nothing but banger after banger. i don't always love vo's other longer works for some reason but every single singing hills novella turns me inside out. so good. if anyone out there has been struggling with reading original work after fanfic braining themselves too hard (been there!!!!!!!), these are great ~training wheels in that they're VERY short, you can read them in any order or just pick one as a standalone, and they're a really pleasing mix of like. nuanced and textured and rereadable, while also being quite straightforward and obvious in what they're saying and what's happening

LOTE by shola von reinhold and Y/N by esther yi are both NOT very straightforward or obvious in what they're saying and what's happening. they both have something to say about obsession, academia, and fandom (interpreted loosely in lote's case). they are both pretty weird. i enjoyed both immensely! in LOTE, a compulsive scammer / person who ghosts her own life devotes herself to unearthing a black woman artist from the 20s who's been systematically excluded from the canon. things get weird. in Y/N, a grad student discovers kpop fandom and self-insert fanfiction, and then gets the opportunity to meet Her Boys in real life. things get weird.

zoë: damn how long have you been sitting there writing that answer? i would have been like "just read tiger tiger" and been done. me: FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!! read tiger tiger by petra nordlund (which continues to update on discord)

zoë upon reading all my book recs: no nonfiction? me: FUCK!!!!!!!!!!! just read THE OLD WAYS by robert macfarlane my best friend and comrade for life. and also THE HARE WITH AMBER EYES by edmund de waal

*- none of these are actually that recently read bc of aforementioned discworld-related ailment

i do actually also have a public storygraph account. not sure what "following" someone on storygraph entails but if you're ever curious what i've recently read (i don't do "currently reading" bc i'm a flake. i LOVE to dnf books. life is not long enough!!!!!) you can always peek in there!

FIC RECS

REALLYYYYYY enjoyed zakalwe's most recent vetvimes (discworld) oneshot it made me feel like this

it really like. Evoked Fanfic Emotions In Me you know what i mean. the kickyfeet embarrassed delight of truly fun, funny fluff. so good and SO hard to get right

2. likewise ao3 user Vee_hee_hee's fics "a game of kings" and "the damn shrimp conference" are REALLY funny and have great characterization, but also tremendous grasp of the sense of humor of the universe of discworld in general. "a game of kings" has an INSANELY good visual element that makes me laugh out loud every time, and "the damn shrimp conference" has an explanation of Vetinari's Thing About Mimes that's so ingenious and logical that i have wholly absorbed it as a piece of dw worldbuilding

3. i'm not a batman guy but MULTIPLE of my beautiful beloved friends are batman guys. this means i get the benefits of batman (my friends' fics; fun characters and goofs) without having to actually read any batman comics. you should read BUY BACK THE SECRETS by ao3 user SUNDISCUS!!!!!!! AND while you're at it you should read SEND TO ALL by ao3 KEROSCEENE <- fic that makes me laugh out loud which i'm sure is even funnier if you know the guys

4. traces left by qi pieces by yiqie had me screaming in aiwen's dms for like 3 days straight as i read it. (SNIFFLIMGN) SHE WAS SO CRAZY FOR THAT

5. every day i make a patient beautiful concerted effort to come to terms with the idea that information gathering by tacroy probably will not get finished for a long time if ever (brief perusal of tacroy's public tumblr reveals that since the 2nd of 3 promised chapters was released, they + their wife have had a FRESH BABY) (I HAVE ABANDONED FICS FOR LESS REASON THAN THAT) and even though obviously this lost 3rd chapter weighs upon my soul............ the first 2 chapters................ lift my soul even higher.................... for a net gain in soul elevation i would say

6. tiger tiger by ao3 user acernor "acernor" acernor (no known relation to petra nordlund or the webcomic tiger tiger by petra nordlund). included in thsi list partially because it's funny to have two tiger tigers but also because it genuinely slaps ass and acernor's depiction of a tiger is really grounded and lovely

7. from halfway along by lelek. sci fi space opera au of all time to ME

ok ok ok i'm stopping there because it's 10:20pm and i need to take a shower (<- grandpa who needs to go to bed by 11pm or consequences happen to me) BUT let it be said that my ao3 bookmarks are also all public, if not particularly useful in terms of content (lots of "weeping" "jesus christ" "rending my flesh" etc, not much in the way of summary)

UM

I HOPE... YOU ENJOY LITERALLY ANY OF THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL!!!!!!!!! if you (OR ANYONE: you reading this post right now) ever read something on my rec and enjoy it OBVIOUSLY PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!!!!!!!!!! it does actually contribute to my overall life force which in 2025 is something we all need

[rs8ndead]

❛ addicted ❜ ⸻ dating Trevor Philips

── ﹙ 𝜗𝜚 ‧₊˚ MASTERLIST&INFO.﹚. ☆

→﹐ 𓏵﹒ SUMMARY.﹒⟢ ⸻ Trevor as a boyfriend. 🤗🤗

→﹐ 𓏵﹒ PAIRING.﹒⟢ ⸻ trevor philips x gn/gender neutral! reader.

→﹐ 𓏵﹒ A/N.﹒⟢ ⸻ EEEEEEEK first headcanons post of one of my TOP hyperfixations HOORAY ໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১ I love characters like Trevor,,,, like characters who are stinky and or crime lords :3 so fun to write because they’re just MAD crazy 🎀🎀 he’s also so easy to write to because I made a original character BASED off of Trevor and to ship with Trevor, I really wanna write like fanfiction of the two together but I’m not sure if anybody will like… like it or anything 💔💔😓 ( I hope I’m writing Trevor right, I’d freak out if I weren’t writing one of my favorite comfort characters correctly )

→﹐ 𓏵﹒ TAGLIST﹒⟢ ⸻ none 💔 pls let me know if you guys wanna be in my taglist for everything that I write or for something specific :33

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ﹙©rs8ndead﹚

→﹐ 𓏵﹒ TAGLIST﹒⟢ ⸻ none 💔 pls let me know if you guys wanna be in my taglist for everything that I write or for something specific :33

🩸  ⸺  the most clingiest man ever. From clinging onto your waist if not constantly when you guys are alone, to following you around everywhere you go and holding onto your hand as if he were some body guard, being nosy and peeping himself into your business ( example: phone call ), intrusive staring towards you, sniffing them without context or warning at all, invading personal space ( he has no sense of it ), constant and constant communication, overwhelming relentless and continuous affection, regular rambling and blabbering about how much he loves you and that he would literally do anything for you ( committing crimes such as robbery, credit card fraud, murder, arson, etc etc THE LIST GOES ONNNNN ), no he will not stop any of his suffocating and overwhelming actions until you probably like communicate out your boundaries with him. He grew up with a horrible childhood, he’s not really socially aware of how creepy he can be when he starts to date somebody. It’s very obvious that he’s got an emotional attachment to you.

୨୧ ᵎᵎ ﹐﹒⟡﹒

🩸  ⸺  despite his history of hooking up with other woman and his chaotic mess of a personality, Trevor truly feels there is a bond with you and him and that there’s actual chemistry, instead of just sex and splitting ways after wards. He loves you so very deeply and isn’t afraid to show you that he loves you, at all.

୨୧ ᵎᵎ ﹐﹒⟡﹒

🩸  ⸺  Trevor is all putty when it comes to you, like a baby kitten. He’s your lil meow meow for real, ESPECIALLY when you give him any form of affection.

୨୧ ᵎᵎ ﹐﹒⟡﹒

🩸  ⸺  takes you out on shopping sprees constantly whenever he can if you’ve got a hobby for shopping ( and yes of course, it’s allllll from Michael’s credit card, in which good ol’ Trev somehow managed to steal from him ) and constantly commits credit card fraud just so he can see you happy, if you TRY to persist he will just say something along the lines of: “sugar tits, no no no… let me spoil you.” And no, he will not take a no for an answer, he’ll even go as far as hiding your form of payment ( cash, credit, debit ) in a place where he knows you won’t find it, because he’s not letting you buy anything for yourself, at all. He’s paying for you, one way or another and he loves you and doesn’t want you to pay for yourself when you’ve got him. It’s a fifty / fifty relationship, he buys you stuff and other needs for you, and you just let him do that for you.

୨୧ ᵎᵎ ﹐﹒⟡﹒

🩸  ⸺  if this man had good grammar AND could write ( because we all know, he cannot write for SHIT. ) you’d be getting those long ass love sappy letters, but IF you were a writer and you did that for him he would be all confused and asking you “huh what’s this say” and then be all a putty, crying even more clingy mess all over you and sobbing that he didn’t deserve you.

୨୧ ᵎᵎ ﹐﹒⟡﹒

🩸  ⸺  before he started to officially date you, he definitely asked Michael ( and probably Wade, Ron, Franklin, and everybody who he knows but mostly Michael before he tells to shut the fuck up when he hears something he doesn’t like ) for relationship advice, and no he did not listen to Michael about ‘taking it slow’ and along with ‘don’t say I love you to quick’, because Trevor definitely most likely said those words ‘I love you’ when he meets you because he is SO IN LOVE with you it surpasses everything practically, he’s to dumb for relationship rules.

୨୧ ᵎᵎ ﹐﹒⟡﹒

🩸  ⸺  it’s quite obvious that he’s got an emotional attachment to you. You know that erotic Calendar and those also erotic photos of women in their bikinis that are on the walls of his trailer?? Yeah, he took it down and just replaced it with photos of you.( one of the advices that he listened to from Michael )

୨୧ ᵎᵎ ﹐﹒⟡﹒

🩸  ⸺  he loves like a puppy, constantly all over you as he’s practically and literally your number one hype man, complimenting you and being all desperate for you and crushing on you even though you and him are both dating. He worships you to the point where its concerning.

୨୧ ᵎᵎ ﹐﹒⟡﹒

🩸  ⸺  the type of guy to gift you rocks he thinks you’d find cool that he would find on sandy shores whenever he’s spending time away from you ( he hopes you find the rocks he gifts you cool; otherwise he’d be disappointed in himself )

୨୧ ᵎᵎ ﹐﹒⟡﹒

🩸  ⸺  literally the dream boyfriend. I don’t CAREEEEEEE he’s the dream boyfriend.

[eds-gryff]

The Weight of Beauty

Edmund Pevensie x Reader

(Requested by @popsixsquish

‘Could I perhaps request some Edmund comforting an insecure reader?’

Again, very sorry it took me over a year to finally get to this! 😬)

A/N: So, this is kind of a confession- I write all my requests and x Reader one-shots with my OC, Sanya, in mind. I write her name and her country and her hair colour, and then I change it to Y/N, etc, after I finish writing.

If you would like, I have a four-part Narnia series on my Wattpad, which is Edmund x (plus-size, POC) Original Character; it is called The Alliance Series (‘Alliance’, ‘The Heirs’, ‘Moonshine’, and ‘Fairytale?’, with ‘Sultana’ as a companion AU), which you might enjoy! If you enjoyed my fics here, and if you liked the Y/N in them, you’ll love Sanya as well as her relationship with Edmund. The marriage and overall background of Edmund and Y/N in this fic are actually based off Edmund and Sanya in Alliance!

Here is the link to my Wattpad⤵

A/N2: You know, I am personally very insecure myself and I am pretty chubby, so writing this down was actually rather cathartic. I’m not madly in love with Edmund like I was when I was sixteen (when I started writing The Alliance Series, btw), but it is still quite comforting to write one of my favourite characters being so complimentary and sweet about something most people are not.

Anyway-

Y/N= Your Name, Y/C/N= Your Country's Name, Y/N/n= Your Nickname, Y/H/C= Your Hair Colour, Y/E/C= Your Eye Colour. Reader is plus-size.

Happy Reading!

---

Y/N knew she had a terrible expression on her face as she strode back to her bedchambers, and she knew it wasn’t the most fitting expression for a Queen whose main work that day had been a diplomatic excursion- but she could not help it! She was usually very good at hiding her innermost emotions, but today had simply gone too far.

“Ugh.” Was the first word- or, sound?- that left her lips as she shut- rather violently- the door of the bedchamber. She let her feet carry her to the large canopy bed that stood in the center of the room, and she immediately fell back on it, absolutely uncaring how it would mess up the hair that her maid had carefully arranged. She couldn’t care less about what she looked like in this moment.

And then she let out a hacking laugh at the irony. This whole predicament was because she cared too much about what she looked like.

After a few minutes- or perhaps hours, Y/N did not know, she was prone to dissociating from reality- she heard the door open. If it had been any other room, she would’ve sat up quickly, ready to fight if it was an intruder, but there was only one other person with the key for this room- and thus, it could only be one person to be coming in the bedchamber currently, for it was his bedroom as much as hers.

Her husband, King Edmund the Just.

“Y/N/n.” Edmund’s tone was rather humorous, and Y/N felt the urge to throw a pillow at him. “I know you are prone to sleeping in, but didn’t you have a diplomatic tour today? With- Terabinthia?”

Curse his good memory.

She made a sound that resembled Troll, but thankfully Edmund knew her well enough to know that she was simply affirming his question.

“Did the delegation not arrive? I am sorry I could not be with you,” Edmund sat down next to his wife, and smiled when she automatically held her hand out to him, which he clasped in his, “but the matter with the villagers took all day. Lucy is still there, I only had to return for a courtier needed a signature very urgently.”

Thankfully, Susan had already signed for it by the time he’d reached, and so he had made his way to his bedchambers instead, for some rest and relaxation.

“They arrived.” Y/N mumbled, eyes closed. She did feel slightly better, though, just the simple act of her husband holding her hand was a comfort. “And they left.”

“Already? Good for you, my antisocial darling.”

She felt the corners of her mouth lift despite herself.

But she said, “I made them leave.”

“Er- not a diplomatic action, that.”

“No, husband, not like that.” Though, she had done that many times before. She was absolutely not the royal who was the first choice for such missions. “They were too embarrassed, so they excused themselves after an hour. Because of me.”

The Just King’s brows furrowed, “Why were they embarrassed?”

She did not answer, but she did open her eyes. Edmund’s chocolate-brown eyes looked down at her, concern and some amusement in them, and she let out a sigh.

“Don’t you wish you were married to someone thin?”

There were not many things or people that caught Edmund off-guard, but his wife was very much an exception, as he learned more and more ever day.

As such, he could only say, “What?”

Sluggishly, the Queen sat up, “Well, you didn’t want to marry me.”

“You didn’t want to marry me, either.” Edmund pointed out immediately. Their marriage had been arranged, part of a political alliance between Narnia and Y/C/N, Y/N’s land. The bride and groom had not been pleased. “And we both loathed the state of our marriage for the first few months.”

This was true. Y/N- who had been titled the Y/N/T not long after this hated wedding- had actually taken to hiding in the Stables to avoid her husband.

Then things had changed and evolved, and they had spent time together and grown closer- and now, now she was so besotted and in love with him, she felt like one half of a couple from some dramatic romance novel.

And she was rather sure he felt the same way.

“Well, yes. But I was attracted to you from the beginning, you know. You are so beautiful, husband. If there is any human worthy of the title of the God of beauty, it is you.” Her voice was soft, and Edmund almost instinctively moved closer to her. “I may have hated you and our marriage, but the saving grace was your beauty and your respectfulness. Oh, and your freckles.”

The accent didn’t hurt, either.

He grinned, “Oh, speak on, please. I am enjoying this turn of conversation very much.”

To her surprise, she laughed out loud, “Of course you are.”

But it seemed she had spoken too soon, for at the same time, Edmund had spoken, “But I would like to finish the previous topic first. What was that about me wanting a thin spouse?”

“Um.” Y/N was regretting saying that suddenly. She was not one to bare her innermost emotions and thoughts often, unless it was in a diary. “Nothing.”

“Y/N.”

Oh, it really was serious if he was calling her by not a pet-name.

“What exactly happened with the Terabinthian delegation?”

The Queen groaned, and fell back in bed again.

“Your Majesty!” The head of the Terabinthian delegation, came over to the carriage in front of which Y/N stood. Curtseying, she spoke, “I am the Duchess of Terabinthia.”

She curtseyed as well, “The Y/N/T Queen, at your service.” While in Narnia, she preferred to use the epithet awarded to her because of her marriage to a Narnian King. If this had been her country, she’d have called herself the High Queen of Y/C/N. “Welcome to Narnia.”

“Thank you verily for making the time to meet us. We are grateful.”

“No need for gratitude, it was our honour.” Y/N said, wishing she could go home already. Why had Peter assigned her to do this? He knew she hated this- oh, that must be exactly why. She was absolutely going to bonk her brother-in-law on the head with her sword the next time they had a duel. “We are most glad you visited Narnia on your tour. And Y/C/N is next, I believe? I will make sure you have the best guide for your travel in my country.”

The Duchess bowed her head in gratitude, and her eyes widened.

“Oh, I did not know! My most heartfelt congratulations.”

Y/N blinked, “Thank you, but for what?”

Yes, she had new shoes on- not by her choice, but her most comfortable pair had actually fallen apart- but that wasn’t something to be congratulated upon.

“You are expecting! It has not been announced, as far as I know, so that must be why you are surprised.” Her face broke in a wide smile, and she did not notice as the Queen’s face withered. “You and King Edmund must be over the Moon.”

Y/N could not say anything. What could she say? That, no, she wasn’t pregnant, she was simply fat. That, no, her breasts had not grown because they would soon nurse a child, but because she had always been ample? That, no, the weight around her middle was not because there was a babe in her womb, but because she was unhealthy and unfit and always had been?

“How far are you along, Your Majesty? I imagine it must be the second trimester- Your Majesty?” The Duchess’s smile faltered. “Is everything- is all well?”

“Yes.” She had to be gracious, diplomatic. She could take off her new shoe and throw it at her, or go hide in her carriage and have a breakdown like she was a teenager again. “But I am not with child, my Duchess, my husband and I have yet to be blessed in that way. I am simply- this is simply how I am.”

The other woman’s eyes widened, and she took a nervous glance back, to the rest of the delegation, who were surely wondering what was taking so long.

“I am so- I cannot apologise enough, Your Majesty, I had no idea- I thought that, because of what you- because you are- I- forgive me.”

“Yes.” Y/N said, though she did not. It wasn’t the Duchess’s fault, she was fat, she knew, which was not common among royalty or nobility.

Still, she couldn’t help but harbour a grudge.

“Well. Shall we on?”

“Oh, I will be sending them a very strongly worded letter.” Edmund said, his face even paler than usual and his eyes burning with anger. Who in their right mind would speak to his beautiful, wonderful, courageous wife in such a way? “How dare-”

“Because it’s the truth. I am fat.” Y/N said, and looked down at herself. She was still garbed in exactly what she had been wearing then. “I can’t even tell myself that she misunderstood because I was bundled up in a cloak and shawl- I wasn’t and am not.”

It was a warm day, in summer. She’d worn a gown with cap-sleeves that the Royal Tailor had recently delivered, with intricate embroidery in an art style belonging to her homeland around the hemline, bodice, and sleeves. It was scarlet and purple and gold, and she had liked it, even loved it, but now she did not think she’d ever wear it again.

Not to mention, she was no beauty, but at least the jewels and crown distracted from the ugliness of her face.

“Y/N/n, you aren’t-”

“Oh, please. You have seen me naked enough times to know I speak the truth!”

He had seen, felt, touched the pudginess of her stomach, the curvy rolls around her sides. He’d gripped her thick thighs, he’d kissed them, and he’d slid his fingers over the dark-red stretch-marks that were present all over her body- her flabby arms, her fat thighs, her plump sides.

She squeezed her eyes shut, “I hate feeling like this. I know my weight does not equal my worth, I know it doesn’t matter that I’m ugly, and I know getting so upset is utterly stupid, but I cannot help it.”

She had felt insecure about her body for as long as she could remember. Even as a child, as one with little care for anything but her playthings, she remembered how she’d been upset when a pretty outfit gifted to her did not fit her, or when she’d preferred to wear something oversized to conceal her heaviness. Granted, no healer had ever said she, then the Princess, was overweight, simply that she was healthy and stout- but when compared to the slender, picturesque folk around her, she had felt and still felt like an elephant in silk.

“How could you not want someone thin- someone beautiful? Someone- someone who’s not me.”

Edmund felt rather at a loss. He always knew what to say, how to take charge of a conversation, how to keep the other person calm- but he felt utterly speechless in the moment. His oft-praised silver-tongue had all but disappeared.

But he knew one thing- he did not agree with his wife.

“My darling.” He lay down beside her as well, and pulled her to him, nestled in his arms. He felt a soft breath of comfort escape her lips, and he was glad. “You say you were attracted to me the moment we met?”

Y/N nodded, hiding her face in his chest, “Even more so when I heard your accent.”

He held back a laugh, and went on, “And you know how I felt when I saw you?”

She shook her head, her Y/H/C hair falling over his blue-and-grey tunic, and Edmund berated himself for never telling her this before.

“I was mesmerised.” He said softly, so softly that Y/N had to look up, her Y/E/C eyes wide. “I would say enchanted, for that would be very true, but you know I have a rather difficult past with enchantments, so let’s stick to mesmerised. I could not take my eyes off you.”

Y/N muttered something that was probably ‘because of the corset’, but her cheeks were on fire.

Admittedly, his wife’s breasts had been rather pushed up and obvious because of the corset she’d worn under her outfit during their first meeting- and, yes, Edmund had not been able to stop himself from blatantly staring for a few seconds- but he was not speaking of that.

“You were rolling your eyes as you were formally announced-”

Almost predictably, she rolled her eyes again, and her husband did laugh softly this time.

“And I remember you were holding onto your own arm, as if comforting yourself, as if reminding yourself to be strong.” He spoke, dipping his head to press a kiss to her forehead. “Just by those two actions, you had my respect and my admiration, and then your beauty had my enthrallment as well.”

“Edmund...”

“You may not be what utterly vapid folk all over the world consider to the epitome of beauty,” which he absolutely did not, “but that did not stop me from thinking you to be the goddess of my dreams.”

She pressed her body closer to his, almost instinctively, as if her very skin wanted to be nearer to him.

“A thought I still have every single day.”

Emotion sparkled in her eyes.

“Really?”

And she still doubted him. Of course.

“Yes.”

“Even though I’m fat, and lumbering, and don’t even get me started on my nose-”

He wanted to throw a pillow at her, but restrained himself to saying, “Would you do me a favour?”

“I would die and kill for you, Edmund.” Y/N gave her husband a fond look. After what he had just said- oh, she had not thought she could have loved him any more than she already had, but she did! So, so much. She wanted to kiss him already. “Yes, of course, what is it?”

Edmund’s lips curved, “Could I undress you?”

Well, she would never be saying no to that.

She nodded, far too excited yet far beyond caring about seeming pathetic- and, soon enough, Edmund’s clever fingers were undoing laces and pulling down fabric and ghosting over her bare skin.

Once she was naked, Y/N reached for her husband, to make the situation equal, but he took her hands in his instead, before she could grip and tear at his tunic.

“What?” She asked impatiently. She wasn’t insecure in front of him anymore, she hadn’t been in years, not since the first time they had made love. All she thought when she was nude around him, was that she wanted him to be that way as well. “Let me undress you already, so we can-”

“That’s not what I meant.” He said, his freckled cheeks blushing. His wife cocked her head at him, and he elaborated, “I want you to know something- see something.”

Her eyes narrowed, “If you’re going to stand me in front of the mirror to look at my bare body, I will get my sword right now and tear your limbs instead of your clothes.”

Edmund’s intentions may be noble, but there was nothing Y/N hated the sight of more than her ungainly figure in the mirror.

Except vegetable mash. Ugh.

Ah, how delightfully murderous his darling wife was. Her country and his own was lucky to have her.

“No, no.” And he lay Y/N down on their bed, her hands clasped under her breasts, and she was giving him with a quizzical look the entire time.

He climbed carefully on top of her, half-covering her body with his, and pretended he didn’t notice Y/N rolling her hips against a part of his body that was extremely fond of his wife and extremely susceptible to her- to her everything.

“I want you to know exactly how I see you- and, hopefully, one day, via you gaining some sense or via osmosis or whatever, you’ll see it, too.”

What was osmosis?

Y/N was about to ask, but her words and her breath was stolen when she felt Edmund’s kisses on the space between her breasts.

But his hands were not on her breasts, as she’d hoped- they were on her plump upper arms, and he was speaking in a whisper to the hollow of her throat, “I see these as strength. I see these as proof that you are the most skilled swordsperson I know, the strongest person I know.”

His hands wandered down her arms to the pudgy rolls of her stomach, and Y/N squirmed. She could not help but think she was glad she had missed breakfast and had yet to have lunch, otherwise she’d be even fatter.

But Edmund was not thinking about her diet, he was speaking, still in that soft, reverential tone, “You call these pudgy, you think this is fat? Even if it is, I don’t care. Because I see this as you being healthy, as a sign that you will be with me for a long, long time, that you won’t be snatched away from me by cruel disease or anything like that.”

“Never.” Y/N vowed breathlessly- she would never leave him, she would fight time itself if necessary. “We’ll always be together.”

His response was a kiss to her throat, and his hands finally reached her breasts.

She wanted to close her eyes, to revel in his touch and know no other senses- but he was looking at her, his dark twinkling eyes never wavering from her face, and she could not look away.

He squeezed them, fingers glancing over her hard nipples, and said, “Want to know what I think of these?”

Y/N could only nod, too eager and too wanton and too in love.

“Fucking sexy.”

And his mouth met hers, finally, finally, finally.

It was a passionate kiss, for there had not been a single day in their lives together they had not desired each other- but as much as there was lust, there was love. As they kissed, Edmund’s heart was soothed because Y/N’s lips were warm on his- and Y/N’s soul was comforted, because Edmund’s mouth was steady against hers. His hand grazed against her breast again, and she slid her tongue inside his mouth, and they both drew even closer together in their embrace.

One of Y/N’s hands slipped inside Edmund breeches, inside his boxers, and wrapped itself around him. Edmund gasped into his wife’s mouth as he felt her touch, and Y/N’s hips rolled against his, her hands already stroking her husband’s cock.

But all too soon, Edmund pulled away, panting.

“Too daring, darling.” He said, as breathless as she’d been minutes ago. “I was trying to make a point, not-”

“Make love?” Y/N asked, her brows raised. She was sopping, needy, and she didn’t think she’d ever loved him more. Please, please, please could he take off his clothes already? “If there is a vote between the two, husband, I will be voting the latter, just for your information.”

“Noted,” Edmund kissed her shoulder, “but I am not done.”

He drew away from her, and Y/N groaned. Sitting up between her parted legs, Edmund took a moment to look down at his wife. At the expanse of her soft skin, occasionally marked with a mole or pimple or scar. At the curves that had made her ravishing to him the first time he’d seen her, and which had continued to only grow in loveliness over the years. At the valley between her legs, at the dips in her sides as her hips flared out.

Y/N was curves and dips and valleys, and he could not help but be glad she was not thin as a lamp-post, and Edmund thought of how- to him- her body was perfect to kiss and hold and caress and love.

He smiled suddenly, “You know, sometimes when I can’t sleep, I look at you, and I try to decide which is my favourite curve on your body.”

She blinked very rapidly. That was far more romantic than counting sheep- or dragons, as she preferred.

Sometimes, in her most lovelorn moments, she would count Edmund’s freckles. She usually got too distracted by them to actually sleep, though.

“Have you- have you ever made a decision?”

Edmund shook his head, his unruly bangs falling into his eyes.

“Sometimes I think it’s this.” He ran her hand down the bend of her right side, “sometimes this-” he gripped her left thigh just above where it met her knee, “and sometimes- often, actually- your tits.”

Y/N giggled.

Edmund bent his head low then, still holding her thighs. He peppered kisses to the stretch marks painted over her thighs and her waist, and felt a tight, hot coiling inside the pit of his stomach as Y/N trembled in pleasure underneath him.

“What do those tell you?” Y/N asked, her voice a murmur. She wrapped her legs around him, locking him in place. If she could keep him here forever, she would. She felt so content, so calm in his arms- apart from the raging want to fuck him. “My stretch-marks?”

“You’re marked by the Heavens.” His voice caught, almost, and he almost shivered at the intensity of her eyes. “They resemble lightning strikes, you know? And lightning, like storms, like the rain, comes from the Heavens.”

Hm. She’d compared her stretch marks to dead worms before, because they were roughly the same shade, but beautiful rain, which covered the earth with an even more beautiful smell whenever it fell?

“How am I supposed to keep thinking of myself as ugly, if you keep saying things like that?”

It was not quite a victory, but it was close enough.

“Exactly. You’re not supposed to think of yourself as that, because you’re as far from that as I can imagine.”

Her heart thudded in her chest, and seemed to grow. They had made love so many times in- in so many ways, so many places- but she was certain that this was the most intimate moment they had ever shared.

“You can’t just kiss away all of my insecurities.” She spoke with a small laugh, as Edmund lifted his head up to gaze at her. She really wished he could, but neither of them could wholly and fully heal the pain inside each other. “Try as you might, it’s not possible.”

“Well, I’ll still keep trying.” He shrugged, and pressed a very light kiss to her clit, which made Y/N moan out loud. He would absolutely have to lavish more attention there, he decided firmly, he was as amorous as she was. “I love you. I love you, and you are the love of my life, Y/N/n, and you are beautiful.”

She pulled him down next to her again, and she nestled herself closer to him. Edmund’s arms encircled her, and she was glad to be the little spoon. She was usually very glad to be the big spoon, holding her husband in her arms, but she loved this position very much, too.

Y/N didn’t think of herself as truly beautiful, and perhaps never would; Y/N did not think of her being plump in a positive light, and perhaps never would- but in this moment, and many other moments after this, Y/N would look down at herself, and she would not recoil, she would not grimace, she would only remember her husband’s words, and she would remember her strength and her bravery and the fact that she was alive, and she would no longer be cruel to her own self.

In this moment, and in many other moments after this, there was peace- in her mind as well as his, and in their hearts and souls, which perhaps were as joined together as the Moon and the stars.

Until there came knocks on the door minutes later, and Y/N all but shoved Edmund to open it. He gave her a look, but could do nothing more- she was naked, after all, she couldn’t open the door. Drat, he really didn’t want to get up.

Regardless, he kissed her nose, which scrunched up in the most adorable manner, and got out of bed.

Ah, the struggles of Kingship.

“I’m sorry to disturb, Your Majesty, but Queen Susan asked to inform you and Queen Y/N that lunch has been laid.”

“Oh, thank you very much,” Edmund said, after a glance back at his wife, who was smiling lazily at him over the tops of her breasts. He felt a blush coming on again. “But my Queen-wife and I are both feeling a bit under the weather, and I was about to request someone to bring our meal up to our chambers. Perhaps after half an hour?”

The faun bowed, “I shall have that be done, Your Majesty, thank you very much. My well-wishes for you and Her Majesty Y/N to soon feel better.”

Edmund nodded his head at him, a gracious smile on his face- and once the faun had departed, he closed the door and returned to the bed.

He snuggled close to his wife, who wrapped her arms around him. He felt perfectly, incandescently warm, and spoke into her shoulder, “I figured you would not want to face the world again today.”

She kissed his hair, saying, “You assume right, but what about you?”

“Oh, I prefer you to the world, by leaps and bounds.”

“I love you, husband.” Y/N said simply, and he pressed a short, chaste, yet endlessly loving kiss to her lips. “Anyway, now will you take off your clothes?”

Edmund matched her smirk with his, “How about you take them off for me, Y/N/n?”

Not another insecurity was thought of again that day, and the faun had to return with their meals four times before the King and Queen finally opened the door.

--

[euphoria-looney]

hello, I have a question about your royal series.

original [name] = the princess… novel one. I did not want to write [P!Name] because it looks off to me

[name] = the one who got. ykw yeah you know.

I read the sources, and they all said that the original [name] had no magic, or at most, very little. But then, in Chapter 2, suddenly [name] has this magical ability? And without any difficulty at all? ‘I clapped my hands, and my magic kicked in, styling my hair, changing my clothes, and even applying skincare!’ I get that it’s technically a different soul, but still.. there’s not a single hint of struggle? It’s still the same body, even if the soul’s changed.

magic isn’t just a thing you can access without any explanation. There should be some kind of learning curve, right? Even if it’s a different soul in that body, the whole ‘instant magic’ thing just feels lazy. It makes the whole world feel inconsistent, like the rules only apply when they’re convenient. Where’s the struggle? Where’s the growth? You can’t just throw in an ability like that without establishing why it works this way, especially if the original [name] had none.

It's like... we’re supposed to believe this change is fine, but it doesn't feel fine. It’s way too smooth.

The special chapter gave us this dialogue where the original [name] is struggling with their identity. ‘had no strength to my name and was disgracefully unable to use my magic, but I knew I had some... I had to. Right?’, That’s a big emotional beat. It’s telling us that [name] was constantly battling their limitations. So why, when this.. new soul inhabits their body, does magic suddenly become a breeze? How does this person, who’s from a modern world with no frame of reference for how magic works, suddenly become a magical prodigy with zero effort? The contrast feels jarring. We went from ‘I have magic but can’t use it’ to ‘Oh, look, I can use magic now without breaking a sweat.'

I get that it's supposed to be ‘different soul, different circumstances,’ but this kind of sudden, effortless magic completely undermines the original character’s struggles. It’s like [name] just waltzes in and uses the magic better than the original, which makes the original’s journey feel cheap. Was all that emotional weight in the ‘special chapter’ just... ignored? Because it’s one thing to inherit a body, but it’s another to inherit its history, its emotional baggage, and its limitations.

and like. yeah, maybe you could say [name] have read countless books and watched movies where magic is a thing, right? They even explicitly say, ‘Let’s see if this is just like the movies.’ And that, right there, in my opinion, is a huge red flag. Because magic is never the same in any book or movie. In some stories, magic requires words, gestures, or rituals. In others, it’s based on emotions, sacrifices, or even the understanding of the universe. So why did [name] jump in thinking it’s definitely going to work the way they expect it to? That’s a classic sign of someone not fully grasping how unpredictable magic can be. Especially since we know that the original [name] had no actual experience with magic.

In my perspective, the real issue here is that magic in this world has already been established as something difficult for the original [name]. they couldn’t use it. So, how does [name] just waltz in and know how to use it? And more than that.. how do they have the confidence to think that their understanding of magic, based on movies and books, is the right one? There’s no humility in their approach, no sense of doubt. They should at least be testing the waters, asking questions, or struggling a bit. But instead, it’s like they’ve just assumed, ‘This is how it works,’ and it happens that way. Which... doesn’t feel earned.

like.. why is [name] so sure of themselves? They have no magic training, no context for the magical history of this world, nothing. There’s zero reason for them to be able to manipulate magic the way they do, especially considering that the original body was never shown to have that kind of talent or even a basic understanding of how to channel magic. The whole situation just makes the magic feel less like an actual part of the world and more like a convenient plot device.

and yes yes, I get it. [Name] is supposed to be this girlboss. totally confident, big ego, laid-back, and just oozing with self-assurance. And I get why you want to show her as someone who just owns everything she does. It’s supposed to make her seem super capable, right? But confidence isn’t magic. Sure, being confident can get you places, but it doesn’t instantly make you able to do things, especially in a world where you have zero experience with magic. There’s a difference between a character who’s self-assured and one who’s unrealistically good at something they’ve never even tried. And that’s the vibe I’m getting here, it’s not confidence, it’s plot convenience.

we just get this immediate mastery of magic that feels like the character’s confidence was just... grafted onto her abilities. The narrative is telling us she’s a ‘girlboss’ but isn’t showing us how that plays out. like in magic.

Also, the way this character is written kind of makes me question what ‘confidence’ really means in this story. Is she confident in her own abilities, or is she just... written as too confident, to the point where it doesn’t feel real? It’s one thing to have self-assurance, but another to have such blinding confidence that you ignore the logic of the world around you. This isn’t a world where magic is easy. it’s a world where the original [name] couldn’t even use it. So, how does this new soul from the modern world, with no magical training, come in and just start mastering it? The story feels like it’s telling us she’s powerful but not showing us why she deserves to be, or even how she struggles with that power. or anything at all.

what’s missing here is the ‘show, don’t tell’ principle in how the person’s confidence is portrayed. Instead of giving us the character's ‘confidence’ as a fixed trait, show us how it manifests in real situations. Confidence isn’t just an attitude, it’s a response to challenges. If she’s so confident about magic and other things, then the challenges she faces with it should reflect that attitude in a way that feels earned. instead, we just get this immediate and effortless success, and it undermines the impact of her character's supposed strength

and like, okay. I might be being dramatic, maybe this story isn’t supposed to be super serious. Maybe it’s more lighthearted, maybe it’s even poking fun at the whole neglected trope and the way things are often portrayed in fiction. But even then, there are some things you can’t just shrug off, no matter how ridiculous or playful the story is meant to be. And one of those things is internal consistency. the world has its own set of rules, and if you want the audience to buy into it, you’ve gotta make sure those rules make sense and are consistent, even in a more comedic or carefree context.

and I’ll continue, maybe this story is meant to be lighthearted, a bit of a romp, and not something we’re meant to take too seriously. I get it, I do. But there’s this thing.. even in lighthearted stories, you need to get the audience to care. You can’t just toss in cool scenes of magic or ‘girlboss’ moments and expect the reader to be like, ‘Yeah, this is great!’ without them feeling like they have something invested. In comedy, there’s still structure. still a reason why things happen the way they do. And without that, it feels like [name] is just being plopped into the story to do ‘cool things’ without any real consequences or stakes.

sure. yeah! maybe the magic is supposed to be over the top, but if everything happens without any struggle or effort, if she just knows how to do it, it’s hard for the reader to stay engaged. It’s kind of like watching someone play a video game on ‘god mode,’ right? Sure, it’s fun at first, but then there’s no sense of challenge, no satisfaction in watching them overcome something, and before long, you lose interest.

I mean, a big part of lighthearted stories is playing with tropes, right? you are already doing that with the ‘girlboss’ character and the neglected family theme, so why not take it further? Why not show her getting unexpectedly humbled by the very thing she thought she understood, like magic? If the magic is all-powerful and completely at her disposal from the start, then where’s the fun in that? Even in the most fun, breezy stories, the most interesting thing to watch is how a character grows. Otherwise, you’re just watching a character coast through a world without any real tension, and that’s boring.

and like, it was written that [name] is supposed to be this super-talented woman who dominates in many fields, then that actually adds complexity to the situation. Talent in one field doesn’t automatically translate into competency in another, especially something as unpredictable as magic. So, what’s bothering me is that a person who has mastered other fields, who’s supposedly mature and experienced, wouldn’t approach magic like this. She wouldn’t just ‘do what she saw in the movies’ and expect it to work. That’s... not what experienced people do. In fact, it's almost a red flag. If she’s as talented as they say, then she should at least be aware that magic isn’t something you can just learn from pop culture references.

this is where the ‘talented woman’ characterization really trips up. A person with a wide range of talents, someone who’s truly mastered multiple fields, understands that expertise in one area doesn’t give you instant mastery over something else. If you’ve spent years honing your skills in various disciplines, you get that expertise requires time, practice, and a deeper understanding of the field. A person who has achieved a high level of proficiency in multiple fields knows that you can’t just rely on external sources, like books or movies, to suddenly make you an expert. Especially in something as nuanced as magic. So, why is she going in blind? Why is she relying on what she’s seen in fiction? like why didn’t she go to the library?? she’s literally in that world right now???

It’s actually against the logic of her being someone who’s already talented. A woman who’s dominated other fields should have enough self-awareness to recognize that just reading about magic or watching it on a screen isn’t going to teach her how to actually wield it. Magic is one of those things, especially if it’s supposed to be a serious part of this world, that demands a deeper, more systematic understanding. A truly skilled, and experienced person would know to approach it with curiosity and caution, not cocky confidence. like, don’t just tell us that [Name] is highly confident and successful in multiple fields, show us through her actions, choices, and how she handles challenges. Let her maturity and experience come through in how she handles situations, not just in statements about her ego or achievements. Magic can’t just be figured out in a ‘one-size-fits-all’ way, not when every media portrayal of magic is so different. Don’t say she’s experienced; show us a moment where that experience pays off. Let the audience come to their own conclusion that she’s actually experienced and competent.

magic isn’t like other ‘skills’ that you just pick up and run with. You can’t rely on your previous achievements to make you an expert in a completely different field. And this is where the story’s logic gets iffy. You wants us to believe that because she’s talented, [name] should be able to pick up magic without a hitch. But the reality is that someone who’s truly talented, and therefore likely experienced, would know that not everything isn’t something that works so easily.

I don’t know, I’m sorry, I know rhis is a small detail but it kinda peeved me a little, I’m just a very dramatic person and very confused about this part of the story. like, isn’t chapter 2 basically like day 2 of being in the novel???? like did I miss a detail? in one of the chapters? ???? ? like unless the og novel was really in detail about magic and [name] managed to remember it all despite hating it, it just doesn’t make sense 😭 and even if it did, how was she able to do it in the og [name]’s body ?

Dog… WHY ARE YOU SO SMART?

I’m going to be so real with you guys when it came down to the story, at first it was supposed to be a random Drabble that I came up with so I was whipping up something out of nothing, chapter one at first was supposed to be a stand alone, giving MC no time to learn or develop anything but like the user get a gage at her personality and how cool she is but no development.

but then it blew up which I did not expect and didn’t want to leave it on such a cliffhanger that’s also why in my opinion chapter two was absolute booty more than half of that chapter was just me throwing things together in hopes that it suffices.

while chapter one was okay there are some changes that I do have to implement to make it better including not rushing certain things so if you see my chapters for this story prompt go down don’t worry it won’t be deleted forever.

I just rather build up the world and characters before we start with the actual story with that in mind chapter one will be edited and changed drastically and he current chapter will be scrapped and made anew. Any questions, comments, or concerns will be appreciated.

also if you guys couldn’t tell I’m having a hard writers block, nothings coming to my mind and sometimes I get other story prompts for other fandoms or just ideas that would just spiral into a whole new project so that’s why I have been seemingly dead.

I hope this addresses the problem and also why I’ve been on hiatus, I will be looking back at this question for help so thank you for writing and putting much thought into my idea!

not proofread btw…

[wystiix]

❥ pairing: siren!robin x sailor fem!reader ❥ synopsis: The ocean listens keenly—you should have known that. You were a curious individual, so you decided to test out an old fisherman's tale. A silver offering, a song at sunset, and a voice that hums back from the deepest parts. You should have never sought an answer—but now, the sea has heard you. ❥ cw: major character death, slight mind manipulation, potential ooc robin ❥ additional tags: second person perspective, siren au ❥ word count: 3.3k ❥ notes: haha i saw the hoyofair art... holy shit robin is gorgeous i just had to write about it. yeah uh ig this is my first hsr work. not sure if i'll write more. i hope to god i didn't mischaracterise her cuz i was just writing about how sirens usually act. and yes i know i know I KNOW SIRENS WERE ORIGINALLY DEPICTED AS HALF BIRD IN GREEK MYTHOLOGY. i was mainly basing this off on how the philippines depicted these creatures (sirena), because "sirena" in tagalog means "mermaid". so ya!! i would also like to give a special thanks to bbg @papiliotao for proofreading this for me <33 love you rei, to the moon and back /p

The ocean was no stranger to you—you had known it throughout your whole life. Since you were a little girl, staring at the shimmering surface turned into a routine. You admired how it seemingly stretched out an eternal expanse of azure blue that met with the sky’s horizon before you. 

You’d dip your feet beneath the shallow waters and allow them to sink into the sand without a care in the world. The tides would crash and the waves licked up your legs. The ocean was your comfort. It was your home.

And yet, you often wondered: what laid beyond the reef?

You had come from a long bloodline of those who were masters of the sea, men and women who lived and died by the waves. Like the masters they were, they taught you everything you needed to know—how to read the stars, predict the tides, how to navigate your way through the waters to avoid getting lost. But above all, they never fail to warn you about the dangers of the deep.

Countless legends and stories have been told to you about the lives of your ancestors being taken by the same waters you had come to love. Monsters, storms, mistakes which eventually led them to their demise. However, one tale above all haunted your family’s stories.

They said the waves would often get mischievous. They led sailors’ boats further astray into the mist where the rocks waited. Among numerous creatures of the deep, none would come as close to dangerous as the ones your ancestors perceived to be beautiful singers.

They had voices like honey, sweet enough to drown out any coherent thought. They often appeared to sailors as women who were part-fish—beautiful beyond words with skin that glittered like the sea itself.

But looks can be deceiving. For those who followed their songs never returned.

However, it didn’t stop there. Some believed that you didn’t have to wait for them to find you. Apparently, you could summon them. 

It was stated that when the sun bled into the water with hues blossoming red and gold, the summoner should bring a gift—something precious, an offering of silver. Toss it into the waves and wash your face on the shore as the waves slowly take it away. Hum a tune, preferably one expressing your deepest yearnings and desires, for it will attract and bring them closer. Then, wait for the sea to answer as the sun fully sets. 

Old fishermen warn you not to cease your melody, for the sea listens keenly. These creatures aren’t particularly known for their patience; silence could summon their wrath instead. Keep your melody alive and listen closely. When you hear a tune drift back to you from the depths, you know you’ve been heard—the ritual is then deemed successful.

If you were lucky, a benevolent creature may grant you mercy. It was a common belief that they may offer you a kiss—one that could grant gifts and blessings. Stories claim that this kiss could fill your lungs with the ocean’s breath and grant you the power to swim as one of them. 

But luck was a dangerous, fickle thing to gamble. More often than not, when these creatures appeared, these gifts weren’t given freely. If they came at all, they never left any witnesses behind. They were more of a misfortune than a boon.

Now, you were a skeptic. You weren’t one to believe in such things. They were merely fairytales to you, and you knew that the ocean was more forgiving than that as long as you didn’t go beyond the reef. Though, you couldn’t help this lingering curiosity eating away at the back of your mind like a swarm of pests.

And so, you decided to test this theory.

One evening, you found yourself standing at the rocky shore. You knew the stretch of this coast well, the rocky areas always seemed to slope faster into the deep strangely. This seemed like a perfect spot to do the bidding.

In your hand was a hooped silver earring, one from a pair you had lost a long time ago. It glinted as it caught the last rays of sunlight as you watched the sun set. While it was precious, it was merely a trinket. You could live with its loss.

This was foolish. Childish, even. Testing an old sailor’s tale? You should have laughed and left it at that.

The faint smell of the salty breeze met your senses as you took a deep breath. Your pulse quickened with anticipation—or was it fear? Either way, there was no turning back now, not after all the trouble you went through to find a trinket you thought no longer mattered and to travel all the way to the beach.

You let the earring fall from your fingers. The silver flashed briefly before the tide claimed it, and it evanesced into the water. 

A sigh slipped past your lips as you crouched by the shoreline. For a moment, you hesitated. What if they were right? What if these warnings weren’t just tales after all?

No, you were here now. This was merely a ridiculous test because you had nothing to do. Nothing was going to happen. Even if it were real, you weren’t one to give in to temptations so easily. You were not exactly easy to impress after all.

The cool water lapped at your hands and you splashed it onto your face with the salt stinging your skin. A stray drop had managed to slip into your lips and you immediately spat it out, grimacing at the bitter taste that settled on your tongue.

Then, you parted your lips and sang.

A gentle tune floated from your lips. Simple and familiar, no grand notes or anything. It was the kind that was second nature to you as if it had always belonged to the waves itself.

The sun continued setting slowly, and the waters were painted with deep crimson and orange. The final note left your lips and you waited. You were unsure if you had done it right. Would anything happen at all? Did you make a fool of yourself?

Your ears strained as you listened. To keep the melody alive, you hummed the whole song over again. The last rays of the sun disappeared beneath the horizon and the ocean seemed to grow still when you finished.

Nothing. You heard nothing. You almost felt foolish.

A frustrated sigh spilled out of you and you stood up. You had just practically tossed your silver jewellery into the water to test out some absurd myth. There was no one to blame but yourself in this situation. You turned on your heel, about to walk away with humiliation.

Until you heard it.

The waves crashed against the rocks. You backed away from the edge so the waves wouldn’t catch you, but you listened closely. 

A note. It rose faintly from the waters, and the sea seemed to hum it.

Upon one summer's morning, I carefully did stray…

Your blood froze.

Down by the Walls of Wapping, where I met a sailor gay.

You weren’t alone.

Conversing with a young lass who seem'd to be in pain,

Saying, "William, when you go, I fear you'll ne'er return again.

Your heart thudded in your chest painfully as you glanced at the water with your eyes wide, straining to see among the shifting tides in the darkness. And there, you espied something.

A head popped out from beneath the surface. Lilac-silver hair and emerald eyes stared straight at you. Confused, you blinked a few times and rubbed your eyes, unsure if your vision was deceiving you. But when you opened your eyes again, it was gone. The water was empty, and the eerie hum of the ocean was the only sound to be heard.

Your pulse quickened.

Had you imagined it? Something told you that this wasn’t a coincidence.

This time, you decided to be a little risky. You stepped near the edge, feeling the moss and jagged rock beneath your feet to take a closer look. Your eyes fixed on that one spot where you had seen the head. 

There was… definitely something beneath the surface. Something was moving, and it looked like a fish tail. Ripples lapped gently at the water’s edge as the head emerged again.

This time, however, it was closer to you, and you could see a few more prominent features. A crown of coral adorned her head, and gills of fish rested by her ears. The same emerald eyes stared at you as if her gaze was piercing into your soul.

“Hello?” you blurted out almost foolishly. “Did I disturb your swim?”

Her intense gaze made you nervous and made your heart race. The figure simply tilted her head as she looked at you, almost with deliberate slowness as if she was sizing you up. Then, she smiled.

“You summoned me.”

A chill ran down your spine. You blinked momentarily, your mouth parting as you thought of what to say. And then the realisation hit you, and you smacked your forehead in embarrassment. Fool, you scolded inwardly. Why in the seven seas would you ask such a thoughtless question?

“I—uh—” You cleared your throat and you felt the heat rise in your cheeks. “I didn't think it was… possible?”

She merely chuckled and rose slightly from the surface, sitting on a rock just close to you. Droplets of water dripped down her face and neck, and for the first time, you could see a creature like her in full display. Her hair swayed gently as if caught by an unseen breeze. Her hair colour reminded you of periwinkle flowers; ethereal, elegant and eye-catching. The three E’s.

Her tail glistened with rich shades of violet and curled around her as she sat. Its scales were arranged perfectly with iridescent patterns that shifted in the light, creating a stunning display of brilliant colours. Were those tiny wings hanging behind her ears? Your ancestors hadn’t provided many details on these beings’ appearances.

The sight of her made your breath catch in your throat.

“Did you think I was going to leave without greeting you?” she asked, breaking you out of your trance. Her voice was smooth and soft like silk, and it almost sounded like a lullaby.

You swallowed hard. The weight of your reckless curiosity was starting to sink in.

“No…” you mumbled. Her fixed gaze on you wasn't making this situation any less frightening. The darkness didn't help either, as the sun had just set. It was as if her eyes were the brightest thing around, glowing faintly.

The sea listens keenly. You should have heeded that warning from your masters.

“I had no idea what I was thinking,” you continued sheepishly, attempting to salvage every last bit of your dignity. “I guess I wanted to know if the old tales were real—”

“Tales.” Her smile widened. “You didn’t think they were true?”

Not until now. The truth had punched you in the gut and you were left feeling lightheaded. Of course they were true.

You didn’t know whether to cry, laugh or flee. Or all of the above. Perhaps the ground could open up a hole and swallow you instead, that’d mostly be preferable.

The silence stretched for a long moment. Then, she spoke again, breaking that silence.

“My name is Robin,” she said lightly, as if offering the name was some casual gift. “And what’s yours, sailor?”

Your heart pounded in your chest, unsure if you should be terrified. However, provoking these creatures wasn’t exactly encouraged. Swallowing, you crouched down and answered nervously. “[Name].”

Robin eyed you for a moment before smiling. “[Name], how lovely,” she hummed looking down at her reflection in the water. “Well, [Name], how fortunate for you that I’m feeling quite generous tonight.”

You knitted your eyebrows together. “Generous?”

Her finger traced lazy circles on the surface of the water. “What is it that you desire the most?” she asked. “You had a reason to summon me, did you not?”

“Oh.” Shaking your head, you waved your hands dismissively. You had completely forgotten about that. “No, not at all. This was… merely a test of courage.”

“Shall I reward that courage?”

“What?”

Her tail flicked, scattering droplets into the air as she slid off the rock and sank into the sea once again. “Shall I grant you a blessing to reward your bravery?” She pressed herself against the crag and leaned in just enough to make your pulse quicken. “A curious sailor like you deserves such a gift.”

The water curled towards the rock at your feet. Had you heard her right? A gift? Something about it made you suspicious, yet her gaze seemed sincere.

When you didn’t answer, her eyes gleamed as she continued, “I don’t offer my gifts lightly, dear. A kiss from me, and you could have it all. Swim with the tide, breathe beneath the waves, see the ocean as I do…” Robin sighed and rested her head on her hand. “It’s a rare offer. One that most sailors would beg for.”

“That easy, huh.” You eyed her warily, crossing your arms. There had to be a catch.

Robin’s smile didn’t falter. “Would you rather I make it difficult?”

You blinked a few times before shaking your head. “No, I—” A sharp exhale slipped out of you. 

You were going to say no. You were sure of it. So why couldn’t you?

“So what’s wrong?” she asked, watching you closely. “You troubled yourself to come all the way here and summon me. Surely you wouldn’t just leave empty-handed? Ridiculous. Why hesitate?”

The waves lapped slowly at the rock and the rhythm of your pulse quickened. The ocean seemed to stretch endlessly behind her.

Why hesitate?

The question should have been easy to answer. So many answers, so many reasons. Yet, you just… couldn’t seem to name them.

“You’re thinking so hard,” she mused. “Is it really so difficult?”

You stiffened.

Yes, it was.

“I-I just…” you murmured, sheepishly rubbing the back of your neck. “As much as I appreciate the offer, I would much rather have my feet stay on land.”

Silence enveloped the both of you like a blanket. Robin narrowed her eyes at you, putting her hand down, and her eyes were locked onto your face which made you more nervous. It seemed like she was examining you. Closely.

Did you perhaps tick her off?

Dark waves rolled in like silk as the ocean shimmered. The air felt a lot heavier. It clung to your skin, thick with salt and something else you couldn’t name. Words are unable to be formed and for a moment, you swore you heard the tide humming. 

A haze settled into your mind, thick and intoxicating. The stars had just come out, and they shone in a way that felt unreal. In fact, your surroundings felt unreal.

She was closer now, humming a soft melody to like the lull of the ocean itself. When had that happened? Her cold, damp fingers brushed against your cheek which made your breath hitch.

“You’re trembling,” she spoke softly. “You're not afraid, are you?”

Afraid? No, not at all. In fact, the fear had eroded away the moment you heard her sing. There was something about her voice, something that allowed each note that spilled out of her lips tug at the threads of your heart. Any thought seemed to wash itself out as you drowned in the pools of her emerald eyes.

You felt her hand gently caress your face, inclining your head closer. Before you knew it, soft lips brushed against yours in a tender kiss. Your heart pounded loudly in your ears and your head spun as the kiss lingered for a moment, unable to bring yourself to pull away.

It was an unexplainable, intoxicating allure that had you trapped, rendering any attempts of resisting fruitless. Her lips tasted like sin itself, enticing you deeper—and you wanted more of it. Your mind melted as the world around you seemed to blur at the edges. It just urged you to lean in a little more, fearing that to pull away would shatter this utter bliss.

“Still with me?”

Robin’s voice was a sweet and sugary lilt as she murmured against your lips, and it wrapped around your senses—lingering like the taste of salt on your tongue. You nodded, unsure if you even remembered how to speak. Or think. Or breathe.

Her lips were warm. But why was the water so cold? You could feel it rise to your ankles. Then your knees. Then your chest.

Wait—when did you step into the sea?

Your body swayed and it felt weightless. Somewhere far away, you heard the tide singing and Robin singing along with it. You could feel her hands cup your face and tilt your head deeper into the kiss. A low hum rattled in your chest, vibrating throughout your bones.

The ocean listens keenly. You should have known that.

The ocean listens keenly. You should have known that.

Your lungs felt full as she pulled away. Not tight. Not desperate. Just… full.

She was still so close. You hadn’t moved, had you? But you were closer. You blinked slowly at her as she swam in and out of focus. Were her eyes glowing? Or were yours just dimming? It was hard to tell. She hummed a soothing melody that eased your thoughts.

“I thought you sailors were clever.”

Huh?

The realisation came in slowly like thick syrup, a heaviness that settled in the pit of your stomach. You were sinking. Or had you already sunk?

Something delicately grazed your cheek. A strand of hair, drifting freely into the water. Yours or hers?

…Had you been holding your breath all this time? The ocean was in your ears. Your lungs. Salt was burning your throat and your mind. Your head tilted back instinctively to take a breath as you struggled.

But there was no air left to take.

You tried to lift your legs, but they felt heavy and sluggish. The cold ocean wrapped around you like a blanket, pressing against your skin.

The only thing you could see was Robin’s face. Crown of coral adorning her head, and gills of fish resting by her ears. The same green pools of eyes you drowned in pieced into you.

She was smiling.

“Close your eyes,” you heard her say. At least you think you did. “It’s easier that way.”

The pressure in your chest was heavy but no longer frightening. It felt familiar—like the hundreds of warnings you have heard from your masters the moment you were old enough to walk. They echoed in the back of your head.

You remembered the tales, the stories. How they had lured those before you. How the sea listened so carefully to their songs they were later consumed. You remembered the warnings passed down from generation to generation. The fear it was supposed to ignite.

But now, as you sank deeper, there was no fear. Only acceptance.

Robin’s hums echoed in the depths. It seeped into your bones to your very essence. It was the same melody you heard her sing, the same lullaby your ancestors must have heard. The one they couldn’t escape. You thought you were clever. You thought you weren’t easy to please. You thought you could even have a chance of escaping. You thought wrong.

You parted your lips, perhaps to call out the name of your family, perhaps to scream for help, but your words got lost in the water. They were swallowed by the depths.

Now you understand. Now you understand why they didn’t run, why they didn’t escape—the allure was not just the beauty, but the temptation. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t resist it. The sailors were left with no choice. Neither were you.

The ocean listens keenly. And, like it did to your ancestors, it answered.

You felt Robin’s hand graze your cheek as she gazed at you with that deceptive, soft look in her eyes. You both then shared one last kiss. Her breath—the sea’s breath, rather—filled your lungs.

And you let it. You succumbed to what was promised eternal bliss. It was easier that way.

[ratatouillewastakendammit]

30% Off

Pairing: Hawks x reader

Summary: In the end of the world, death around every corner means you don’t exactly get much time to pleasure yourself. Thankfully, someone you’ve had your eye on is more than willing to help

Warnings: smuttttt; edging; language; apocalypse AU; the 'monster cocks' that I found in a Spencer's the other day.

(I originally wanted to write this for an AIB character, but it's been a while since I've touched on Hawks so I literally just did it again with him.)

Your fingers flit through a small sea of heavy fabrics, each embroidered with some colorful design of whatever video game or anime character had been trending when the world stopped.

Apparently, it had been Gojo, the white outlines of his hair a stark difference to the black of the hoodies base framework.

The material was heavy and warm, hiding your fingers from the damp chill in the air as you slid them underneath to find the price tag.

$49.99

The notion of one piece of clothing being nearly worth a young teens entire shift made your eyebrows tug upward.

Slipping the cloth off of its hanger, you gently ripped the price tag off, letting it fall to the floor as you snuck an arm into one of the sleeves.

Once upon a time, you would have cared about the littering, but it wasn’t as if rest of the mall didn’t look any different.

It was getting increasingly hard to care about things like that.

Instead, you focused on the comfort of your newfound treasure. Taking what you wanted was one of the few benefits you reaped in a place like this.

The mall doors had been hard to pry open, but a crowbar and a few minutes had done just fine. With a few days of peace before another game needing to be won, Mirko suggested some good old scavenging.

If anything, it was a lot better than sitting around and starving to death.

So you, her, and a few others had ended up here, each going their own way to cover the maximum amount of ground before darkness fell over this wasteland.

And while you didn’t exactly think Spencer’s would have the most survivalist-prone gear, it was one of the only stores in the North end of the mall that didn’t reek of rotting food.

You slipped through a wall of nose piercings, grabbing another thick hoody that sported a small drawing of Killua Zoldyck on the lower right corner.

Going towards the back of the store, you rummaged through the trays of snacks that could usually be found near the checkout desk. Even though they technically weren’t the most nutritious, sour gummies and sodas were known to have a better-than-average shelf life.

As you scoured over numerous packages and Best Buy dates, your gaze slipped a few feet to your left, eyes widening as a short chuckle bubbled up into your throat.

You walked over to a stand proudly boasting its abundance of ‘Creature Cocks’ and picked up a glow-in-the-dark Unicorn dildo.

It was nearly 9-inches.

Guess I could use that thing as a weapon if anything.

Snickering, you put the sparkly sex toy back and let your line of sight graze curiously over the smaller, more much conventional ones.

It had been a long time.

Which wasn’t surprising, since personal pleasure wasn’t exactly a priority during what many would define as the apocalypse.

Still…

Almost unconsciously, you reached out, fingers curling around a small toy that slightly resembled one you used to have.

“You know most of those don’t work anymore, right?”

“Shit!” You spun around in fear, locking eyes with the second male in your little group, Hawks. His lower lip was curled in amusement as you pressed a hand to your pounding chest. “You just gave me a heart attack, asshole!”

Regardless, nervous excitement brewed in your stomach. The feelings you harbored for the individual in front of you were dangerous and you knew that, but they were hard to ignore.

“Sorry, didn’t think I was interrupting anything,” his eyes flit down to the device in your hand, a feline-like smirk spreading across his features as he turned and began to leave. “But I’ll leave you to it.”

You dropped the toy, it’s clatter against the floor causing him to swivel his gaze back and you to internally cringe. “Batteries,” you swallowed, cheeks beginning to burn as you mentally fumbled for an excuse. “Some have batteries. I figured we’d run out at some point. For flashlights and stuff… ya know?”

Rambling. You’re rambling. Stop it.

Hawks cocked an eyebrow, stalking closer and quietly bending down to pick up the device. When he straightened, his body was a few centimeters from yours.

A contrasting scent of ashes and spice hit your senses as he lifted an arm to put the toy back, effectively caving you in on one side.

You wondered absentmindedly if he still would’ve smelt faintly of fire if he wasn’t stuck here, in a world surrounded by death and decay.

“If you really needed help that badly, you could’ve just asked,” he replied, wolfish grin doing nothing to quell the heat blooming into your face.

The meaning of his statement hit you like a train, the suggestion crawling below your abdomen to tease you with a flash of pleasure.

“I don’t… I wasn’t trying to-”

“But you want to,” you blinked, eyes wide in surprise as his arm snaked around your waist. “Besides, it might be dangerous to leave you all hot and bothered during an attack or something, don’t you think?”

“I’m not… I’m fine,” the reply definitely lacked the assertion you planned to give it, the idea of his skin against yours more than distracting.

He let out a raspy hum. “So it wouldn’t turn you on at all if I did something like this?”

The hand resting on your hip began moving downward, began toying with the top of your jeans.

Mindlessly, your hips lifted upwards, practically begging to meet his touch.

That smirk grew slightly, excitement flashing through brown irises. “Thought so.”

His hand slipped under the fabric, gently brushing against your clit. The contact made your body jerk in surprise, that soft heat slowly building as the touch moved in between your thighs.

“I-” One finger pushed between your folds, drawing a soft groan from you as he began to slowly thrust the digit in and out.

“I know, princess. Don’t worry, I’m gonna take care of you.”

His lips grazed over yours, gently stealing the sigh you gave in response to his movements. Blond hair tickled your face as he continued to whisper praises in your ear.

“So pretty,” his free arm linked under yours when your knees threatened to fall out from under you.“Do you know long I’ve wanted to do this? Wanted you?”

He watched as you continued to slip away in a pleasured haze, expression flashing for a mere second in adoration as his finger drew soft circles over your clit.

The feeling was overwhelming, the rest of the world melting away from the burning heat just begging to reach its climax.

Then it vanished, his touch slipping away as quickly as it came before he pressed his lips against yours, the moment lasting mere seconds but leaving you breathless.

“Why did you stop?” The desperation in your tone might have embarrassed you, if you cared.

“So needy,” he taunted. “I’ll fuck you properly when we have some more privacy.”

You almost reached out to stop him when he backed away, your pride saved as the rest of your group pushed through the isles.

“You guys okay? We’re gonna head back to the shelter soon.” Mirko stopped, eyes widening as she took in the area. “What are you doing back-“

“We thought there might be some batteries in here.” Hawks grabbed one of the toys. An effortless smile gracing his lips , he spun the package around so the label was visible. “30% percent off.”

[theageofsims]

These questions were asked by @memoirsofasim -- Thanks for asking me these questions/giving me these suggestions.

Originally I asked about what kind of videos I could maybe make on my Sims YouTube Channel, but I couldn't really wrap my mind around it in a way that the video wouldn't become confusing or drag on. So I decided to make a post about it instead. Anyway, here goes...

----------

Note: I just wanted to mention these two things below for anyone who might worry about starting to write/story-tell, before I answered the questions. And also, this goes for any Sims Game not just the Sims 4.

Write Without Fear

Remember to "Write Without Fear". What I mean by that is to develop a story based off of an idea that is your own. You can for sure look for inspiration (more on what will follow in this post), but the point is to not feel as if you have to tell a story someone else is already telling or you have to tell the story in the same way someone else is telling -- or that you must modify what you're writing in order to please someone else in fear of judgement.

Write For Yourself

Remember to always "Write For Yourself" because at the end of the day, even if someone isn't reading along to your story, you're creating something that is satisfying some part of you. It could easily be something that you wish to read yourself, but can not find it in any medium (even outside of the Sims community) and so there's no where else to turn… except to yourself.

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Question: How do I find plots for my stories?

Reality / Dreams

Reality: Everyone has access to this. Whether it's lively, depressing, or somewhere between -- reality is reality.

Dreams: Sometimes you just remember your dreams and even if you can't remember the entire thing, there's something that sticks out to you that makes you remember it long after the dream. It could be something about their physical features, something you might have remembered they said, or even the colors within your dreams.

Sims Jobs / Hobbies

Are your sims working a job that aligns with their greatest passions/hobbies or are they just working to pay their bills? It doesn't matter either way, but sometimes just knowing this small thing is enough to get you to think of what they would do in their spare time and who they would do them with. Would they become members in a club? Would they share their hobbies with their family members? Would they have any enemies that could possibly lead to competition?

Spend Time With Your Sims

I don't mean in CAS. I mean literally turn your game on and put them on Free Will -- and watch them. See what object they interact with first or which Sim in their household they interact with first. See how they respond to Sims that randomly knock on their door (welcome wagon and all that jazz). Notice their experiences -- what makes them happy, what bothers them, what makes them angry. Also take notice to their speech bubbles.

Send them out into the world. Have them interact with other Sims or just place them on a public/community lot and see who they start talking to first. From there -- take notice to the speech bubbles from both your Sim and the Sim they're talking to. Take notice to your Sims mood while in conversation (or even while they're alone).

Movies and TV -- Or Books

This one hits extremely close to my longest and on-going story because that's exactly where the main character came from -- a movie.

So much of my stories stem from some favorite character of mine or some favorite actor/actress of mine that play such and such a character in something from a million years ago or to the present day -- and everything literally in-between.

My thought when leaving them behind at the movies or after watching them in a movie at home is… how can I flesh this character out? How can I give them a better personality or extend their personality? How can I imagine what their lives are like outside of the worlds they were created in?

And there is how the story builds. One thing literally leads to another.

Consistency

If you write somewhere in a chapter that your Sim is crazy about grilled cheese sandwiches -- then that Sim is crazy about grilled cheese sandwiches. The only way they'll stop being in love with grilled cheese sandwiches is if they suddenly had something happen in their lives to make them change their opinions about it. Like they've aged up and gained the lactose intolerant trait. Now -- dairy will make your Sim terribly sick.

Remembering these little things makes your Sims differ from one another, but also allows you to flesh out their personalities and with doing that will open more opportunities.

This Sim may have loved cheese and not all dairy, but guess what? They can't have any dairy anymore. How are they going to survive? Well -- they'll have to change their lifestyle as far as what they choose to eat and with that will come the mental torment that they can't just go and eat cheese like they once used to be able to so now they're in a bad mood and they're terribly jealous of every Sim that can freely eat cheese as well as all the dairy they want…

And so they begin writing in their free time, to get all of their angry and saddened emotions down -- because it helps them with all of the mental stress.

And then they decide to publish their writings and suddenly -- the grill cheese loving Sim who wanted to open a Grill Cheese Shop is now an Award Winning Novelist instead.

Who will they meet along the way? Well -- they may very well fall in love with another Sim that may or may not be lactose intolerant. If they are they have a common ground and if they don't… there's going to be a lot of differences in food options between the two which will turn into food outings needing to be a place where there's both non-dairy and dairy items on the menu.

Make it make sense -- you know what I mean?

Consider Occult Plotlines/Characters

When it's occult stories the themes usually deal with magic and fantasy and what not so I literally just make up things out of nowhere and make them make sense because it's so easy to explain something in the name of magic or fantasy. I can add whatever I want to their lives and their houses and come up with reasons for it which then lead into storylines.

That witch down the street decided she didn't want to work a real job, so she used magic to make her dream house.

Seems like a quick-telling story, but if you start to think on it more you'll think about how she's maintaining her dream home. Clearly -- she's probably an entitled personality type and even lazy, but is she someone who wants to live alone in her dream house? Will she marry? Will she have caretakers to do the gardening and the cleaning… or will she just use magic to handle all of that because she rather be left all alone?

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Question: How do you screencap for your story?

I usually know the plot before I take the screencaps, but sometimes I don't. Usually when I don't I end up taking a lot of screencaps that end up going nowhere but being deleted or they end up just as quick edits that I randomly post on my blog because the moment where I had a storyline or a new chapter I let completely pass me by (or it came out of nowhere because I turned my game on to just gameplay and suddenly everything started unfolding whether a Sim prompted me to create more chapters or because I just had something rush to me out of a moment of total imagination).

Still -- I try to remember that I have the ability to use words to continue the story just because I may not have a screencap available -- and that's okay, too.

----------

Mods:

This will help if you start paying more attention to the speech bubbles I mentioned above and would like more of a variety.

Diverse Speech/Thought Bubbles: here (CurseForge | modder: Sims 4 Me/bienchen)

[cripplecharacters]

hi!! I have a character I created when I was a teenager who I am currently revamping for a new project, but I am stumped for how to fix a big mistake I made at the time. I based this character's appearance on my best friend in high school, who had a growth disorder/facial difference.

at the time, I asked him how he would describe himself in writing, and his examples were phrases like "a boy with a malformed jaw" or "misshapen fingers". I recognize that if this were his own project, he would be totally allowed to say whatever he wanted about a character who had his disability, but I am not a person with a facial or limb difference, so I feel like I need to change the phrasing. I would ask him for his opinion again, but he passed away a couple years ago, so it's not possible for me to find out what he'd like me to change.

I still want to include this character and make it clear what he looks like, because it's important to me that I represent him in my writing in some way. However, I don't think he was misshapen or malformed. I don't know what words I can use instead to communicate exactly how he appeared, and I'd really like some insight for how to describe him appropriately and with the respect the friend this character is based on deserves. Please help!

For reference, the character we designed had a mix of both our disabilities' symptoms, and we did not give him any specific diagnoses at the time because of this. The character used a wheelchair because I did, the character had crooked fingers and uneven legs because he did, the character was nonverbal because we both were, had an overgrowth of tissue on his face because my friend did, and the character was epileptic because I was. I am not sure how relevant all of that is, but I figured I'd include it. Sorry if this ask is rambling, I am trying my best to be detailed

-🦴🏴‍☠️

Hey!

I don't think it'd necessarily be wrong to describe your character as such if the person he's based on used that as his self-description. I probably said this somewhere on this blog before, but I always think that “a character with less than perfect terminology portrayed well” is much better than “horrible representation, but they used the 'proper' term”. And if that's what he said about himself, this might just be the “proper” term in this context.

But I do understand that you might want to go another way, especially considering you said that you didn't see your friend as having something malformed or misshapen about him - so how did you see his differences? Maybe “a boy with 'an overgrowth of tissue on his face'” - as you described in the last paragraph - would work?

In writing, I generally think it's helpful to be more specific than not when it comes to character descriptions. So you could get more technical (all random examples);

“an asymmetric lower jaw, with the right side larger and protruding forward,”

“had a left leg that was slightly longer, with the hip tilted upward,”

“his fingers bent towards the other ones, curving like the letter C and overlapping with each other at the tips,”

or, you could go halfway, using the words that your friend used himself;

“he happened to have a malformation on his jaw; a soft mass decorated his chin throughout its length,”

“crooked fingers, each having a slight bend to it.”

If you decide to go for the original terminology, I would expand on what exactly the reader is supposed to imagine by it - there are a few ways to not have a facial difference, and a billion ways to have one. You don't need to go into way more detail than you do for other characters, but it'd be good to be informative enough so that the reader doesn't end up wondering “malformed in what way?”. In my opinion, “overgrowth of tissue” (or any other wording that would provide this amount of information) would be completely sufficient for this role.

I will also say that “malformed” and “beautiful/handsome/adorable” are by no means antonyms as words. One can have a disfigured nose that's incredibly cute, misshapen legs that look great in shorts, or an attractive malformed jaw. That's very much doable in writing, and would help here with making sure you're not portraying it as negative in some way.

There is also the option of using more medicalized terminology (“hypertrophied”, “clinodactyly”, etc.) but it might both not be the most comfortable to use, as well as confusing to some readers if there's no other descriptor given. It also might be awkward in writing, especially if that'd be the only time this kind of terminology would come up. But if you're up for this;

“the clinodactyly on his hands caused the fingers to curve toward each other,” or

“the hypertrophied tissue stretched from his left earlobe to the chin, with freckles adoring it along the way,”

or something along those lines could work, I think.

I'd also try to describe other “non-difference” features as well, perhaps even at the same time. There's a ton of ways you could go about it, but the general idea is to bring up his difference as a complete non-event - something that's so normal that it's not needed to give it a separate description;

“the bright red wheelchair had one footplate set much higher to accommodate for his short right thigh,”

“her eyes were drawn to his hands, with each colorful nail making a clicking sound whenever his overlapping fingers moved,”

“he grinned widely after noticing that his facial hair has fully filled in behind the soft overgrowth on his chin,”

“the sunflower tattoo on his larger leg was still slightly red, but the cat on the thin right one already looked fully healed.”

Obviously all the examples here are random, but hopefully they will help you figure out what kind of description you want to employ.

Either way, it's clear that you're approaching this with a lot of care and good intentions and that's what really matters. I hope this was helpful, and I wish you good luck in your writing.

mod Sasza

[moonlitscales]

Alright, boredom and procrastination are a powerful couple. So instead of drawing a ref for all my OCs like I should be, have a mini master list of all my OCs! Old, new, and ones I thought I forgot!

This will include a personality, sexuality, mini backstory, fandom (if in one), any other details I think are important, and a photo of said character! Also uh

WARNING: There is a lot, and I mean A LOT of writing so just know there will be a lot of reading if you are actually interested. I TRIED to keep it short and digestible but I love going extra. Oh also like possible tw if someone needs them: Death, Murder, Cult Mentions, and Abuse are talked about a lot. (IF I MISS A POSSIBLE TW PLS LET ME KNOW!!!)

Oh, also saying I have a Pinterest board/collection of each of my ocs!! Not every oc have a board though. (there are a few made by a friend in there so just don't touch them since they aren't on here lol)

Sia Mese Kitlen - The Main

Personality: Loud, expressive, caring of her older sister Nova, can have a short temper for people who piss her off, and listens to a lot of music. She's a very social person and falls in love easily but falls out of love just as easily.

Sexuality: Omnisexual with a preference for girls and Demigirl (she/they)

Backstory: A lot of stuff revolves around the cult chasing her and Nova. Her sister tries to keep her in the dark about her past, but piece by piece Sia connects dots of her dead dads and the reason her sister never wants to stay in one town for too long.

Other: Sia Kitlen is one of the OCs I've loved and been passionate about for a long time, but she's also gone through a lot of changes over time. She started as a welcome home oc but was still scene and was skinny (??). So since then she has her own story made and I gave her some body fat!!

Nova Lite Kitlen - The Secret Holder

Personality: Quiet, brutal and mean to anyone but her sister, will not talk to anyone she doesn't need to, wants to be a fashion designer because her Papa did, and only ever smiles around her younger sister.

Sexuality: Aro-ace (she/her)

Backstory: DEAR GOD IS SHE THE PUNCHING BAG. I won't go super into detail about her and I'll only give a base, but she seriously has gone through a lot. Her house burnt down with both her Dad and Papa in it, leaving her 7 year old self to take care of her new 1 year old baby sister. She moves around towns almost every year, finding some symbol of the cult that ruined her life in every town. Around 16-17, she found an old friend from when she was younger, Annie, and took refuge in her home but turns out right after falling in love Annie was a part of the cult too and Nova left in tears promising to never love again. Currently she's just in her late 20's and does her best to keep Sia protected, even if too much.

Other: Nova was created after Sia, and I don’t even remember why I made her but I do love her I promise, I just like punching and throwing bricks at her a lot.

Diana Ero Bunnston - The Lover

Personality: Around most people she's nice enough to pass by but not going out of the way for others; Unless she sees you as a competitor for Sias attention. If you're a person that Sia takes any form of interest to, Diana is more than brutal to you and makes sure your life is hell. To Sia she is a shy and nervous person, making it hard for anyone trying to tell her how horrible Diana really is. 

Sexuality: Lesbian (She/Her)

Backstory: Diana is a cult member sent from a higher up/her mom (cult nepo baby) to keep watch over Nova, except she fell deep in love with Sia and uses her cult mandated camera™ and takes pictures of Sia instead of the updates on Nova she's supposed to, just giving basic updates on Nova when asked. Diana is Sia's closest friend that 'somehow' always finds what town she moves to. 

Other: So the funniest part about Diana is the fact she was originally created from an OC playlist challenge XD. It took a little transforming but eventually she became Sias best friend/stalker/lover interest thing (I do wanna rework her charactera little bit I just don't have an idea how 😔)

Annie Nemis Bullstrong - The Family  

Personality: Family first girl, whatever the girl version of a himbo is; strong and a little dumb. Her priorities are always for her family and cult first. She really did love Nova with all her heart but the people around her would never let her.

Sexuality: Closeted butch lesbian (she/her) 

Backstory: She is also a cult member, her family car and trinket shop being one of the biggest 'cult meet spots' in a way. She was friends with Nova as a child and thought she was the coolest black cat on the face of the earth, only hearing a week after she disappeared that her friend ran away. When she came back Annie was over thrilled to see her again, getting so close and falling in love all over again until her mother told her she had to capture her. After the biggest fight she ever could've had with her mother, she knew she couldn't fight her. It was a night Annie got so close and confessed her feelings to Nova, only for her mother to strip her away. Even as she grows to an adult, she refuses to argue with her mother and forever wonders what could have been.

Other: So out of all of them, Annie was actually the FIRST first as a welcome home oc. She has gone through A LOT of changes, going from a shy painter puppet to butch pitbull in a cult.

Riesel Agate Darkwood - The Chill

Fandom: PJO/Percy Jackson

Personality: A very laid back child of Dionysus. She isnt a snitch unless there is a huge reason, you could probably tell her anything and she would just shrug and offer you some chips. She isn’t the best person for comfort and she has no idea how to comfort people yet somehow always finds herself a therapist. (BECAUSE OF SOMEONE. IF YOU ARE READING THIS YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE >:( /silly)

Sexuality: Lesbian and Demigirl (She/They)

Backstory: Her story does constantly get more and more lore with the more ocs SOMEONE keeps making, but her base story is similar to any demigod. Dionysus fell in love with her mother at a bar, her mother happening to be a worker in the local theater. Dionysus and her drink, do plays, ect ect, then Reisel is born. Dionysus leaves, and her mother never stays the same. Her mom becomes a horrible alcoholic that Reisel could barely ever see without a wine bottle in her hand. Reisel leaves the house at about 9, a satyr eventually coming across her and taking her to camp. Now, she has a best friend so close he’s a brother, Bee, and she spends her time at camp snacking and just being a chill friend to anyone that needs it.

Other: I love Reisel, I just haven't been super creative/active in the pjo community lately and I have a new pjo oc I kinda wanna play with, which is right below!

Lobelia Blooming Terriconn - The Flower

Fandom: PJO/Percy Jackson

Personality: Shy and quiet but blunt. She prefers animals over people and really doesn’t want to talk to people often but knows she has to. She knows she's not as ‘witchy’ as the rest of the children of Hecate but she does her best as she makes lots of herbal and floral things, bouques, teas, charms, and anything else she can put intention behind. 

Sexuality: Unlabeled (she/her)

Backstory: Her father was a very nervous but kind man, always trying to have her fit in even with her always blue hair, lazy eye, and the fact she was clearly magic. Since she was young she always carried around a plush from a stray black dog she named shadow, and one halloween her worst bully tears it apart and that night she gets the revenge she didn’t want to do. Her fathers friend who was at the house that night, finds her in the cemetery and knew it was definitely time to take her to the camp whether her father wanted her to or not. Now, she spends most her time in the camp woods collecting flowers and spending time with the woodland creatures.

Other: I actually have a full story doc on her backstory so if we want me to drop it let me know! She’s my only other Pjo oc, most recent, and I love her with all my heart <3

Brimella the Witch Hat - The Witch

Fandom: Dandy’s world

Personality: She’s as kind as she can be but does have her limits and tries not to totally blow up when they’re crossed. She really puts others in front of herself but can be reclusive and want her time alone every now and then. She finds honesty very important, and is partly the reason she doesn’t like a certain someone too much.

Sexuality: Pansexual (she/her)

Backstory: She doesn’t really have one, so I’ll just give her relationships with the other toons. She’s closest friends with Connie and Flutter, close friends with Yatta, Finn, and Brightney. She also is friends with Bassie and Astro but doesn’t see them too often. She has a complicated relationship with Gigi, sometimes finding her bearable, other times wanting to wring her neck. As much as she hates it, she often is put near and around Gigi since Flutter is close with her. 

Other: I know I just ranted about how much Brimella hates Gigi, but I love shipping them 😈. Kinda just enemies to lovers except if you still hated that person's guts while dating them (in a romantic way). I hope I dont have too many tomatoes thrown at me, but I like multishipping/poly shipping so I also just like making Brimmella kiss whoever and seeing what happens lol. My main poly ship with her is Connie x Flutter X Gigi X Brimella!

Electra Clawpaw - The Party Girl  

(her last/second name is really pending but I have no other ideas T_T)  

Fandom: Fnaf/Security Breach

Personality: A very playful and loud animatronic. She loves hanging out and dancing out with any kids and teens coming by the west arcade to dance or play games as she’s very energetic and Ke$ha coded. (Main character inspo think like Ke$ha, 6arelyhuman, and Catty Noir!!)

Sexuality: Pansexual (She/her)

Backstory: Not really any backstory for her either, so character relations! She, for some reason, isn’t a fan of Freddy. She doesn't hate him or anything, just not too interested in knowing him. She’s alright with Chica, and is pretty close with Monty and Roxy being the ‘edgest’ in the Plex. Her best friend is surely DJ Music Man though, as she spends all her day and night with him working in the West Arcade. Finally, of course, Sun and Moon because I’m a fangirl, shocking. She’s pretty close with Moon, the two pretty much immediately friends after she met him on one of his nightly patrols. Her and Sun however met a night when she was bored and explored the Plex, stepping into the daycare and finding him. Electra thinks of him as just some silly boy-failure guy, and he is completely head over heels for her Looney Toons style.

Other: She’s honestly just a character I made to channel my current interest in rave/scene/bright colors/club things and an excuse to oc x canon with Sun and Moon. Hehe.

Hazel - The Forgotten

Fandom: Fnaf/Security Breach

Personality: Calm and very kind, pretty motherly to all the kids she takes into her health room filled with tea and herbs. She really likes having tea with people, and I mean both types of tea because when it comes to the adults and others? She can be pretty mean and gossip about almost anyone or anything.

Sexuality: Bisexual (She/her)

Backstory: None, so character relations! Likes Freddy and Chica, good friends with them. Finds Roxy a little intimidating/scary but fine with her. Despises Monty. Like hates him with a burning passion that no one could ever tell you why, but he hates her just as much. And just a sassy sister to Sun and Moon.

Other: Can you tell I have a slight problem with making witch characters? She honestly was a character I just wanted to make a design for but I dropped her after like a week of having her. I might revisit/fix her up some later time as maybe a sona or something but for now she rots in the pages of my sketchbook.

Amber Stone Walklone - The Indoctrinated 

Fandom: My mutuals oc lore

Personality: Not too social, prefers to keep to herself and a farm girl to the core. Despite not looking so she can actually do some pretty good heavy lifting. She is easily influenced and falls to pressure from others a lot. Not like you ask her to eat a slug, but she would run across a mile and back to grab you something you didn’t even need.

Sexuality: Lesbian (She/her)

Backstory: She was raised on a farm all her life, her and her mother and all the animals they raised. She was a bright and cheery child until she noticed her usually strong mom starting to look sick and pale. Her mother claimed to be fine, so little Amber didn’t worry too much. But after the night her mother wouldn’t wake up, the farm was all hers and twice as hard to take care of by herself. Somewhere along the line, she was promised a paradise and took that chance reluctantly but gladly.

Other: She’s for a friend!! And I like punishing gingers with trauma!!/hj

Clara Roslyn Cladwell - The Overlord

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Personality: Reserved, selfish, and prissy. She was from the 1800’s, so very proper and not too keen on anything overly sexual. She always stands tall and is blunt in anything she tells you. 

Sexuality: Queer and Genderfluid (She/they/He)

Backstory: Growing up in a rich and royal house was not for the weak, and clearly not Clara. Ever since they were a child, they never felt how they were supposed to be; never fitting in with the other royalty she saw. Her mother was not physically abusive, but very verbally and mentally; one thing done wrong or a ruffle facing the wrong way and Clara was verbally beat down until he sobbed into his pillow. Since the obsession with beauty from their mother at a young age, they became extremely vain and did anything they could to stay good looking. The older she got, the more like their mother they became. Any butlers or maids near him, he degraded; telling them to lick the floor or slam into a wall, making sure he stayed the best looking. She died when one maid was fed with at all, pushing Clara off her balcony into the rose bushes below. Now, in hell as punishment for their vanity, their face so ugly and ruined they always keep a face covering on to never take off. Ever. She is an overlord that, ironically, runs a large make-up business.

Other: They also have rose thorn scars winding up their arms and legs, having them always wear gloves and stockings and has peacock motifs (for some reason). They present fem most of the time, but still feels nice being referred to as a boy once in a while. Also, running a make-up business and clothing going hand in hand with it so… She and Velvette are business partners! That hate each others guts. Clara sees Velvette far too modern, Velvette sees Clara too much as an old hag. Solution? Make them kiss. That’s right, more Oc X Canon because I love it!! Also an OLD oc.

Biana Mousé - The Model

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Personality: Sly, teasing, playful, and really flirty. She’s the type of person to never take anything seriously unless you happen to be a girl crying in a bar bathroom; then she is your sister until you stop crying. She’s really a girls girl but there's also a 50/50 chance she will ridicule you for no reason.

Sexuality: Bisexual (She/her)

Backstory: I don’t really remember much about her other than she lived through the 80’s and early 90’s with an absent dad and drug addict mother and was a stereotypical mean girl in school, so in the 2000’s spent her days as a very young sex worker. She died from a jealous coworker, having a horrible dispute and killing her. This coworker's best friend had gotten revenge by injecting rat poison into her veins, making her a rat in the afterlife but she prefers to be called a mouse. 

Other: She was honestly an eh oc. Maybe I’ll revive her at some point in the future but I just remember making her for the sake of making a mouse oc and dressing her up cute. 乁( •_• )ㄏ

Naku Namida - The Cry Baby

Fandom: Mha/My Hero Academia 

Personality: Very timid, shy, and obviously easy to make cry. She has a hobby of journaling similar to Izuku except she prefers noting her environments rather than people. 

Sexuality: Pansexual (She/her)

Backstory: Nothing too traumatic really, just an absent mom and a loving dad, so here's her quirk! Crybaby: Naku can stream tears from her eyes and control them. She needs to stay very hydrated, always having water on standby, but can make rivers with her tears to push away or trap opponents; even holding herself up with them. She discovered her quirk when being bullied, her bully saying mean things until she cried, and cried, and she opened her teary eyes to find her bully suspended in the air with a stream of her tears.

Other: I made her with a friend for MHA ocs but that friend has since dropped MHA so now this oc might get revived from ANOTHER friend liking MHA! (She’s kinda basically Lobelia if she had a better life but shhh)

Kai Lapis Trigion - The Beach Girl

Personality: Chill, laid-back, and caring. She’s just some girl who likes to hang at the beach and her new and really odd friend.

Sexuality: Lesbian (She/her)

Backstory: Kai lives in a beach side town filled to the brim with tourists all summer. She owns a small trinket/second hand shop by the bay, living in the apartment just above. She woke up in the dead of night, hearing a shuffling in the street to find some girl wandering the streets looking naked and terrified. Kai quickly left outside and took this girl in, inviting her in for food and clothes. The girl barely talked, but seemed to accept the offer of living with her. Now, they’re close friends that run the shop together. At first this girl seemed scared to even go near the beach, which was a little hard since thats all Kai liked to do, but eventually they started to spend some days there.

Other: She was originally just an oc I made for a friend because they wanted a beach lesbian lol. But now, because of boredom and ideas stirring in my brain, she has a story! (and a girlfriend)

Anisa Morrow - The Siren 

Personality: Quiet. She doesn’t talk much, if at all to the point people wondered if she spoke English. Kai eventually got her warmed up, speaking often but only to her. Anisa sometimes has a nervous small tap in her fingers or shakes in her legs, looking around paranoid only for Kai to calm her down.

Sexuality: Pansexual (She/her)

Backstory: She is a siren, but not one her pod wanted to accept. While her sisters kicked around sea creatures with their fins and ate any human in sight, Anisa helped the animals when they were injured and resisted as much as she could from eating people. One night a ship is overturned and Anisa finds one man not dead, taking him to a special cave to save him. She couldn’t stay with him often, but tried as much as she could without being suspicious to leave her pod to feed and talk to him. They fell in love, even with her knowing he was supposed to be dead forever ago. One horrid night it all fell apart for her. Anisa swam back to his cave only to find the water and rocks nothing short of pure crimson, finding her sisters covered in his blood and skin. They chewed her out, calling her a disgrace and traitor, scratching and biting her bruised. Her mother, leader of the pod, shunned her away and said if her face was ever found again in the water she would be torn just like her lover. She swam away, knowing the way to a human town. She walked the streets bloody, bruised and soaking. Then she had a saving light, a woman who took her in and cared for her.

Other: She is my most recent oc and I really like her story, especially for summer and all!! And I just like yuri.

So uhhh yeah! That was 15 of my ocs and their backstories! If you, by some miracle, read all 15 oc things and made it to the end, or if you read half of one and got bored, either way

THANK YOU!!! <333

I'm SO glad I finally got to give some form of outlet for all my OCs! Just keep in mind this WILL be edited in the future whether I'm adding a new oc or removing/adding info to someone. Seriously, I cannot thank anyone who reads even just a little enough, I only ask if you read even a little to leave a comment, reblog, or even just a like!

[olderthannetfic]

I'm feeling weird about an interaction I had the other day, and I'm wondering if I could get... I dunno, advice, I guess? From the usual commenters here.

So, context is that three-ish years ago, I got hate-brigaded in the fandom where I did most of my writing, in a way that came out of nowhere, and also in such a way that I felt like I deserved it. I ended up deleting everything I'd made for that fandom off the internet just to make it stop, including nearly six years of an art blog. I got a reality check later from friends whose credibility I trusted a lot more than random strangers on the internet, and eventually reposted most of the fic (backdated to the original dates of posting), and do actually still post fic in that fandom (also backdated to avoid notice). I also post a couple of fics on that account that are not backdated where I write with OCs from the original fandom fic in other fandoms.

The other day, someone who had been working their way through kudosing my stuff in the old fandom posted a complementary comment about it on the most recently updated of the two fanfics that isn't in that fandom, said they liked my OCs in the original fandom fic, and asked if I'd ever be interested in writing about that original fandom again. I explained that I was still writing fic in that fandom, it was just all backdated because most people really did not seem to like what I was writing.

And they responded saying that was too bad, and asking my opinion about a character they love, noting that it's pretty obvious from my fic that I don't like them and wondering why. And, like, this was probably just someone who was looking for fandom connection... but the character they were asking about is one of the most popular characters in the entire fandom. Most of the people still actively writing fic in this fandom are writing about this character, so if they wanted people to engage with about this character, they had basically everyone but me to engage with. And the person who set off the initial hate brigade against me that lead to me deleting basically my entire internet presence for months had this character as their URL.

So in my brain, I immediately go, "bait, this is bait," and delete this person's comments, delete my one response to them, and lock down comments on all the works on that account. And I know, I know that's paranoid overreaction. Based on their kudos pattern, this person was clearly working their way slowly through all the things on that account, which is not something someone who was only there to bait me would do. The only slightly off thing they did was comment on an unrelated most-recently-updated work instead of one of the works for the actual fandom. Probably they didn't realize that most people have comment emails turned on and didn't know I'd see a comment if they posted it on one of the older works, and they definitely didn't know what asking that particular question would do to me.

But I just... don't know how to exist in a fandom space any more without intense paranoia. I want to keep writing these things that bring me joy, and I do, but I miss being able to have my comments open without fear. I miss being able to post to a blog that wasn't locked down from Tumblr search. I wish I could interact with ANY fandom these days—not just that original one, but any fandom at all—and not feel like someone is going to turn on me out of nowhere. I can't overstate how out-of-nowhere that hate brigade was: my average fic got maybe 2 kudos. My art blog had fewer than 100 followers, and on average I got like 5 notes. I still to this day don't know why the person who set it off had such a hate-on for me, because it was clear from some of the anons I was getting that they'd built up a hell of a litany of ills to pile on my head, while all being vague enough that I never quite got a clear picture of what they were accusing me of.

I know part of the solution is to grow a thicker skin, and to block frequently. And I've been working on that, I guess I just... thought I was doing a bit better at growing a thicker skin and not being reactionary and the other day's incident made it really, really apparent I'm not, and I don't know what to do about it, because apparently the therapy is not doing enough! (Not that my therapist understands fandom...)

Any advice?

--

I mean... it's PTSD or something of the sort. Treat it as such.

[multifandumbmeg]

Ok. Came across my first pro Five and Lila post so FiveLila shippers let's talk. If you ship Five and Lila, that's totally fine! Both CHARACTERS are legal adults.

What they did on the show was disgusting.

And yes, it was also poor writing. You should be angry too. Let's discuss.

Aidan Gallagher is BARELY an adult. He was, what, at most 19 during filming? Ritu Arya is 35. She is a grown woman. They met filming season 2. Late 2019. Aidan Gallagher was freshly 16 years old. She has watched him grow up from his early teens to now, bareeeely a legal adult. For that reason, they CLEARLY do not have any physical/sexual/romantic chemistry, because Ritu Arya isn't a groomer creep. She looks visibly disgusted all while acting her ass off. She plays the lines well but the kissing was so unbelievably uncomfortable to watch and I KNOW it was because SHE FELT UNCOMFORTABLE DOING IT. She remembers this BOY as like a five foot two kid in the prep school uniform, right? It's gross for the same reason dating your teacher even after you've graduated is very gross and makes everyone give you the side-eye. Both Ritu and David (Lila and Diego) have made it clear they were very against this choice. It is obvious this was entirely pushed by Steve Blackman.

Now before you get pissy and scroll away, before I explain why it is in this case bad writing, let me also remind you:

It is fine to like this ship conceptually. It is fine to write fanfiction. There is nothing wrong with that. I totally get shipping their characters based on their personalities and life experiences. BUT

What they did with this season with the canon was simply an awful mess. Morally, it was just plain wrong. The age gap alone made it inappropriate. But it was also bad. Writing. As many have pointed out, it was horrifically out of character for Five. Lila's character was written wildly inconsistently this season. Neither of them would have done that to Diego. Five would simply never have made a move. No matter how badly he wanted to, I don't believe he would have even if she made the move. Not for decades. At least. Add to this the entire experience was completely unneccessary and made no sense to begin with- Lila's suggestion that they go back and save original Ben would mean she never met the Brellies and thus never met Diego, still believed her evil mother, and her children didn't exist. Lila os brash, but generally not stupid, but even if she overlooked that fact are you telling me Five, Mr. Know-it-all who LIVES to be the smartest person in the room and always has, wouldn't have even said something then?? Before they left?! NO. He would NEVER have agreed to go on that mission before even considering the consequences. It was essentially an entire episode of character assasination for both of them. If you like either Lila OR Five at all, you should HATE this arc. Five not considering fallout, falling for his brother's wife despite most of the fandom believing he was aroace the whole time, choosing to betray his brother by physically having an affair with said wife, giving up on solving the apocalypse or finding his family again (his whole mission for the entire series, his entire character), finding a way out and then HIDING IT FOR HALF A YEAR FOR SELFISH REASONS?!?! Five... Hargreeves?? Are we talking about the same person??? Inconsistency is poor writing, plain and simple. Lila, for her part, was traumatized by her mother and spent all of season three grappling with her pregnancy. She had the opportunity, and made discussions with Diego about abortion. She ultimately CHOSE to have a child and ASKED to have a family WITH him. So to have her and Diego both spend this season only saying negative things about their family and act like they regret having the kids they VERY THOUGHTFULLY CHOSE TO HAVE is just plain shitty. They could have done a thoughtful plotline about how hard parenting is when you're breaking generational cycles, but instead they absolutely abandoned it and just had them cause more. Lila runs off to do something that logically will erase her children immediately and then when she finds out Five figured out the way back she mentions Diego and her kids and I found myself yelling at the screen-

"Oh, you care about your kids now?? Since when?!" Diego and Lila literally dump their kids off with a relative in the start of episode 2 and only even mention them again to complain after that. Never once do either of them say one nice thing about their children. Never do they say they love their children. We don't see any shots in the montage of Five and Lila of Lila being UNDERSTANDABLY DEVASTATED and being comforted by Five. It's not only completely inconsistent, it's not just that it makes all the parties involved look shittier for it, it's that they didn't even do it well.

What I'm saying is-

It shouldn't have happened in the final shortened season of this tv show. There was no way they could make that happen and be in any way a fulfilling ending for any of those characters, and for that reason EVERYONE should be pissed about it.

You could write a fic where Diego and Lila's marriage slowly breaks down (or hell maybe they never even got married) but it happens amicably and they don't fucking hate their children in the process and Five doesn't have an affair with Lila, but is there in the aftermath instead. You can write thoughtful, well-executed 200,000 fics drawing out the family drama of this slow burn and Diego and Five coming to terms. Or you could write a trashy smut fic where they all cheat on each other and are assholes and nothing makes sense, basically just like the show did. That's great! Both are totally fine and make absolute sense and are gratifying under the right circumstances to the right audience. Because that's fanfiction, and you've got time.

This was the end of a show we all fucking loved. This was a horrible ending that left everyone dead and unhappy at the moment of their death. A show that was supposed to be about overcoming familial dysfunction, not drowning in it.

So yes, we're angry about Five and Lila. Not because your ship is bad or wrong. Because it should not have happened under these circumstances.

[oddygaul]

Avatar: The Way of Water

You know, not that I have any particular faith that this series will make anything of it, but The Way of Water actually raises some interesting questions about the way consciousness and the transfer of self work in the Avatar universe.

My first watch, I treated Recom Quaritch as just an excuse to bring back the most charismatic antagonist the series had – that he was more or less the same one-dimensional character as before, with a quick handwave for how his return was possible. But they’re honestly doing more than that with his writing. This isn’t Quaritch back from the dead with a new lease on life; his “I am not that man” speech to Spider is not a shirking of responsibility, and his iconic skull crushing scene is not an uncaring show of stoicism. 

Recom Quaritch is terrified. 

When he sees Neytiri’s arrows, he is experiencing primal fear. When he sees Spider, left behind alone on an alien world, he regrets the callousness of his former self. He sees where Quaritch’s bravado led him, sees what the end result of his mistakes was, and decides to firmly reject that he’s the same person as the original. He has Quaritch’s memories in his mind, but he doesn’t feel they belong to him. When he crushes Quaritch’s skull, it represents a refusal to honor the man the RDA assumes him to be: Recom Quaritch is his own man, and he will make his own choices about his future.

I always appreciate it when sci-fi takes this approach towards ‘revival’ via a backed-up consciousness. A lot of my favorites explore its implications – the Culture books, for example, dive deep into the drawbacks of a backup-based system – but all too often, they’re glossed over and treated as a magical solution to death and danger.

I don’t care how thorough and precise your backup is, unless there’s some instantaneous, streaming consciousness-transferring device, if you die and your backup is placed in a new body, that is NOT you. Sure, to everyone else, it might as well be: as far as they can tell, you look and act the same as you always have. But YOU, your stream of consciousness, your awareness, the ongoing perception of the world that defines your life – that has ended, and no amount of backups can bring that back. It only makes sense that the revived’s sense of personhood might be drastically different.

It’s an interesting pivot, because the original Avatar sorta takes for granted the functionally seamless transfer of consciousness used in the Avatar system. Via the link unit, one’s mind can be ping-ponged back and forth between a human and Na’vi body as much as you want, in real-time, with only the sensation of waking up from a nap to show anything changed. Jake’s permanent transfer into his Na’vi body at the end works the same way, just using a big tree instead of the science tube: he simply closes his eyes as a human, and wakes up in his new body like nothing ever happened. The societal implications of this technology are staggering – people could functionally live forever by growing new bodies and instantly transferring over, for example – but it's used only as a plot contrivance.

That is to say, the first Avatar is fully disinterested in exploring the potential nuance of these ideas, and much more focused on really hammering home its comparisons between technology and the natural world; they want you to be thinking about the contrast between the Na’vi queues and the human link units, not some fiddly philosophical quandary. Still, now that The Way of Water has raised these questions, it would be cool if the future sequels – maybe the one set on Earth? – dig a little more into the horror inherent in recreating the minds of the dead.

Being in this headspace for this watch also made me realize how fucked it is to have an Avatar after the human it’s based on has died. In The Way of Water, we see Grace’s Avatar body, and it’s… well, it’s still there. It’s alive, submerged, and kicking… just with no mind inside, empty, a bespoke vessel made for one soul that just doesn’t exist anymore. Brutal.

—

Other thoughts:

The first Avatar relies on its adventure setpieces – Jake’s first bond with the ikran, the montages of running through Pandora by night – more than its action setpieces, which themselves are like, aight. Way of Water’s action, by contrast, legit kicks fucking ass start to finish. Consider:

-the slow-mo train derailing -the Metkayina ducking in and out of the water to avoid gunfire then leaping out to spear RDA chumps -the speedboats, crab mechs, and assault subs, all of which are infinitely more fun than Avatar’s clunky mechs, and the spectacular flips they do as they bounce across the surface of the ocean to explode on nearby rocks -the big whale doing straight-up Action Hero shit -Neytiri shooting a guy through another guy

Seriously, it’s killer. As someone that considers themselves fairly weary of fight scenes these days – so much of it is just noise with no art – I remain impressed after a rewatch.

[karaageandtarts]

🔆anon

Hi, if you don’t mind me asking, how do you make Vinny’s sprites? They look like they’re from the game itself and it’s really cool

Ah, hello! First of all, thank you!! That's really flattering,,

Tbh, idk if I'm the right person to go to- I've seen some super cool artists who have outright made rigs of theirs, so they can move n stuff, plus there are people who take commissions and add way more detail. My process is kind of convoluted and not the cleanest per say, etc etc BUT!!!

(I use Ibis Paint and a pen set up btw lol, that might have some effect?)

It's a whole lot of tracing and referencing! I started with merging Azul and Riddle's sprites together. For Vinny, it was easy since he's supposed to be a blend of Azul and Riddle's traits, which means it's easier to just mash them together to get a result. (Like you can see here, it's Riddle's main body with Azul's background arm and smile and his tie/chest plastered on to get rid of the bow.)

A completely original character like Corwin was a little harder to do, since he has his own personality that's supposed to show through his pose- a lot of characters just have a hand on their hip while the other relaxes, though!

And then I block out the main parts! Each color seen here is a different layer in accordance to what they are, I guess- the shirt collar, the jacket, the vest, the shirt itself. I do this by outlining the edges manually and then filling them in. It's not exactly shown here, but I start with the head as well!

For the face itself, I used a thin brush for the mouth and additional details, but I used the lasso fill tool to wing my way with the eyebrows and lid creases- I did have the reference face beneath it, but it came out more naturally to me to make a few quick swipes following the guide and erasing any excess.

For Vinny's face, I copied Azul's eyes but made the "irises" bigger, like Riddle's, just by rounding them out. Ibis paint has a brush shape that looks exactly like the pupils the sprites use, so I only pasted them on and adjusted them.

I'm ngl I mixed up the order at some point. While the first Vinny sprite has a dark base with lighter highlights, the newest one has a light base with dark shading. But I locked the layers, color picked the lightest shade from my reference sprites and filled the layers in. The tie may be tricky since it doesn't really stand out unless you're doing a bow.

From there, I added smaller details like the buttons, the crease lines, the belt, etc, then color them in as well.

twst sprites have a lot of gradients to them, so this is where I pull out the airbrush lol- this time picking the darkest color on my reference and using a clipping layer/mask to add the color. The gold trim and buttons on Vinny's vest are also a clipping layer/mask, for convenience.

For the hair, I... kind of just went for feeling? (And a lot of referencing the original sprites) Using the lasso fill tool, I used a multiply layer in places where the hair is darkest and overlaps, then played with the opacity until I was satisfied, then did the same thing but at an even lower opacity. Did it a third time, but this time with an airbrush. The highlights are pretty simple, but you'll notice more complicated hairstyles like Azul or Epel's have more highlights around the edges of their hair to help distinguish the layers. I used the lasso fill tool for these again.

The face/neck is kind of like this too- shading color for the inner ear/neck, some slightly along the "jaw", and a lighter layer with airbrush where the nose should be.

I do use folders! This is why Vinny's hair remains the same throughout the three I've made— I copied the hair folder to make it easier on myself lol. In theory, you could make folders for each body part and have an actual posable sprite instead.

I do hope this wasn't too rambly anon!! 🛐 I may make more sprites in the future so maybe writing down my process will help me in the end too lol.

[ungodly-amounts-of-godly-trauma]

wotw round 1

propaganda under the cut!

shen qingqiu:

Okay first a quick intro: Shen Qingqiu / Shen Yuan is the main character of SVSSS, and his deal is that he's a guy from the modern world who wakes up in the novel he read, in the body of one of the characters. Shen Yuan is his name in his original world, while Shen Qingqiu is the name of the character he became - that he uses for himself for most of the novel.

Now, what happened to him… The thing is, at the core of his woobification are his actual canon traits, but some fans really crank them up to the point where it becomes a disservice to the character. So you never know when someone saying "oh Shen Qingqiu is so oblivious" means "due to several intersecting factors Shen Qingqiu has some extremely specific blindspots regarding certain topics" (which is just true) or "haha Shen Qingqiu could get kissed by a man and still not realize that man has romantic feelings for him" (just one variation of the sentiment, but one i find particularly bewildering considering. in canon. a man kissing him was exactly what made Shen Qingqiu realize that man was actually in love with him. like my dudes the bar is low but its there!).

Stumbling into this second version in fic was funny a first few times, but now it's like… I genuinely can't tell whether any particular author is overplaying it for comedy, or genuinely believes the character is That dumb.

Also ppl often severely underestimate his power level. Like idk if that's because they compare him to the characters he often hangs out with, who are those genius top-of-the-world experts (despite him outpacing literally everyone else he ever fought against), or because of how he bungled his first-ever case (like, you know, two weeks after waking up in a whole NEW BODY, in a different world), or because he tends to downplay his own strength and also tries to avoid killing people… but like, this man took a technique that in the original was just "aesthetic and interesting" and developed it into something that could be super deadly within weeks, he's just not using it that way. And he also fixed og Shen Qingqiu's broken cultivation within the first few months of being in that body. So he's actually extremely talented and pretty strong, he just spends most of the book either nerfed by external factors (such as poison that disables his spiritual energy at random times) or surrounded by veritable powerhouses.

And this is for Shen Yuan-as-Shen Qingqiu. But the version that drives me completely up the wall is actually the portrayal of just Shen Yuan - in fanworks where he either never gets transported to the world of the novel, or wakes up as a different character. Because suddenly the traits that already get unduly amplified with Shen Qingqiu version become straight up caricature-like. He's not only oblivious to the extreme, he also gets painted as this completely naive soft babyboi (this is about a guy whose most well-known pre-transmigration canon trait is that he writes famously vitriolic rants about novels on the internet); plus, like, on the physical level, super frail and waifish which uh. wow. nice walking right back into the BL tropes the novel itself avoided?…… So yeah I'm super not keen on this portrayal. I know he doesn't appear as not-Shen Qingqiu version of himself in the novel, if we don't count the rant in the beginning, but like. please extrapolate from the character we actually have instead of writing this mega-woobie who shares nothing with the base version?

Terrible little bastard man who has a sad backstory but is actually genuinely a terrible person. Fans like to act like he is just a soft sad boi deep inside and make him lose all of his edge.

So the thing about Shen Jiu / og!Shen Qingqiu in canon is that we first learn of him as an unquestionably, almost cartoonishly villainous character. As in, he is literally a villain in the book our main character has been reading… before dying and waking up in the world of the book, as that very villain (hence the distinction of Shen Jiu being the "original" Shen Qingqiu, as our main character begins to use the name Shen Qingqiu for himself. Shen Jiu, however, is an old name that only the original has used). The original Shen Qingqiu that our main character knows is a serial child abuser in a teaching position, a murderer (killed his colleague, killed his old fiancee's entire family…), and a lecher (visited brothels and had designs on his female disciple).

Then, over the course of the novel, we learn more about Shen Jiu - in particular, that a number of things our MC "knew" about him were not true. He did not kill his colleague, but rather failed to save him, despite trying to; he killed his "fiancee"'s family because her older brother has abused him for years (and also, Shen Jiu was forced into agreeing to marry her), and also he only actually killed half of them (only men); he visited brothels because he only felt safe in the company of women, and he just went there to get a good night's sleep; and he only ever saw that female disciple he was accused of lusting after as a daughter. And in general, he had a horrible childhood, and was himself a victim of abuse.

However, not everything gets disproved. Shen Jiu still turned from a victim to perpetrator, abusing a child (coincidentally the protagonist of the og book) and trying to set him up to die/be killed several times. Canon is very clear on that point. The situation with Shen Jiu and the og book version of the protagonist is very much an illustration of cycles of abuse.

Also at a certain point, we meet the author of the in-world book, the one our MC was reading - who explains he scrapped Shen Jiu's tragic backstory because it would make him too controversial. Quoting from memory, something like: 'if you said he was a villain, he was also tragic; but if you said he was pitiful, he'd also done terrible things. All in all, a character like this was a hotbed for all kinds of fandom discourse.'

Prophetic fucking words.

Somehow, seeing all that, some 'fans' have decided to jump into a completely opposite direction: making Shen Jiu a poor little misunderstood meow meow who did nothing wrong ever and was a soft princess and totally was never mean to the protagonist ("the protagonist just has inflated sense of ego and misunderstood Shen Jiu's normal teaching as singling him out for abuse" was a take I had to see with my own two eyeballs. Theres btw an extra from Shen Jiu's pov where he laments that the fake manual he gave the kid has failed to horrifically kill him yet).

Which puts the rest of us in an awkward position of having to defend his canon assholery. Like, the whole point of this character is that he's complex! That he's both a villain and a victim! Reducing him to just one is doing him a disservice, and either extreme is equally incorrect! And this is something that happens with many similar characters, I know, but what boggles my mind about Shen Jiu's case in particular is that. it's spelled out. The whole deal with his character is spelled out in canon. And some people still go "oh so Shen Jiu was secretly the most morally pure and good character, got it". Like. how?????????????? ??? ?? ?????

noriaki kakyoin:

Uke-fied to the max so he can be shipped with jotaro lol

Ohmygod where do I even start. Kakyoin's the poster boy for twinkification and woobification of a canonically very capable, interesting (and not twinky at all) character who's so many things at once- a loyal friend, really smart, a bit of a weirdo, infodumping trivia at random times, quick-thinking in dangerous situations, reckless, polite and respectful, vengeful towards enemies but always kind to friends, depressed, determined and motivated in the face of mortal danger despite it all - even when he had the chance to leave the Stradust Crusaders and just come back to his normal life, he decided to stick with them. This decision eventually cost him his life since he got killed by Dio, the main villain. The fandom either calls him a cardboard with no personality (which is not true at ALL, where did that take even come from) or they downplay his canon badassery- Jotaro x Kakyoin shippers are often guilty of this along with twinkifying Kakyoin. The ship is fine, but they're way more interesting if you take into account their canon characterisation as huge weirdos who somehow work pretty well together- they're both different flavors of autistic that sometimes just so happen to align on the same wavelength.

[oceansarepink]

I wouldn't blame anyone for finding Look My Way too Stolas-sympathetic and weepy but honestly I think on the whole it's way better than most of the songs he gets in the show

and that's because it actually has a narrative arc to it. Stolas reflects on his life, realizes he is the problem between him and Blitzo, actually shows some empathy for the armor Blitzo has developed as a result of being impoverished, then decides on an action: making amends for making Blitzo a means to an end. and it retains his original classist character by having the impish plaything line that the show whitewashed over

it still has the same problem anything Stolas related does in that it's hard to care about his repeated pleas for Blitzo to look his way, but it's a far more concise view of him as a character and crucially he actually shows some ability to self reflect in it and then take action based on his conclusions

ParanoidDJ released the original after ep6 but honestly it would fit perfectly in the show after ep7, where Stolas comes back in from the party. instead of getting drunk, maybe he stops and makes himself think about where things went wrong

instead the songs he has in the show are

Stolas Sings - immediately implies Blitzo lied to him, so no self reflection or introspection. It's set up he'll go to get a crystal but that isn't referenced in the lyrics, it's just a split second freeze frame when he chucks his book into view of the camera which is bad storytelling. It's all self focused self pity - he's the victim and that's that. no sign of care for what he's done to Blitzo or Via unlike Look My Way.

All 2 U - a breakup reflection where he does no self reflection or introspection. blames Blitzo for stuff he did (let him get too close/go on too long/fell too far). all self focused self pity - he's the victim and that's that

duet number - does say he maybe did something wrong, but it only counts if Blitzo didn't actually want him (then when Blitzo confirms that, he proceeds to...show no self reflection or introspection - just he's the victim and that's that, you get the idea)

the show numbers not only fail to move the plot forward, they don't move Stolas' character forward at all. Look My Way really sticks out as one of his numbers because it's basically the only one where he does explicitly say 'I'm in the wrong and need to fix things' where in the show it's always 'maybe I did something wrong, maybe, but you hurt me so you're more wrong and I'm putting off doing any self reflection on what my issues are until Tuesday - when I'll put it off again'.

he's far more proactive in LMW too - he doesn't sound like he'll just give up on making amends at the first failure. meanwhile Show Stolas has done only two proactive things when it comes to Blitzo onscreen: making the deal and breaking the deal. both things were done for his own benefit and he's now back to being passive and expecting Blitzo to be the one to come crawling back to court him even though Blitzo has every reason to think he moved on with the succubus dude to spite him in particular

This moment here

It wasn’t him feeling some guilt/remorse for how obnoxious and forceful he behaved, or sympathy for Blitzs unhappiness. He is thinking “Aww….he doesn’t love me, that makes me so sad. Poor me. I deserve love. I just want a lover.”

Well anon, the simple explanation LMW stolas is so different…..is, Vivienne/Sam Haft didn’t write that. They both do think stolas is the more innocent and more victimised party. That’s why before Full Moons confrontation, stolas has sung not one, not two but three sad ballads about his soft boy romantic feelings. And it’s why stolas’ personality was changed drastically between his nasty truth seekers self to his Ozzies bleeding heart self. To make you forget his 1-6 self ever happened and pity him.

While blitz was only allowed to smirk and make sex jokes in a verse of stolas’ third sad song. With the intent of making him look like the “real” pervert with a cold black heart. His verse in when I see him was intended by Sam to set up “that your first instinct is that it’s always (gasp) about sex (closes eyes solemnly)” line. Stolas is allowed to have an inner monologue, desires, worries, regrets and hopes. Blitz is only allowed say “fuck” “penis” and “im traumatised”** with an asterisk saying that makes him an asshole and not “baby” stolas’ fault. Spoken to you in apology tour dialogue delivered by the lovely: Vivienne Mayday aka Verosika Medrano.

Viv didn’t write look my way, and disagrees with the narrative.

She hates Octavia for not being more grateful to her father and thinks stolas deserves to be free from being her parent. So took his line about her out of the song. Twitter emboldened her to go through with this belief. So she took her line out of LMW.

She hates blitz for disliking upper classes, implies he’s “just like a supremacist” against princes for it. I think this also came from Twitter. You are NOT allowed to point out the racism of stolas or you’ll be branded a striker sympathiser.

She agrees with stolas fans that the real reason blitz doesn’t trust stolas’ gifts with no catch is nothing to do with stolas’ previous exploitative transactional actions….it is….because of his own mean imp father? Because Cash taught him love is transaction. A very convenient excuse Viv absorbed again, from Twitter and YouTube.

Cuz….it was cash. Not the sexual extorter who held his job over his head. That’s his soulmate cause owls only mate once via eye contact and die of broken hearts if they can’t have their mate forever. His 25 year long lust for someone he only knew as a child isn’t weird at all wdym. In fact all the bad stuff is Blitzs fault.

She absorbed all of this nonsense from Twitter takes, specifically the stolas stans, because she thinks putting fandom talking points into canon is a safe bet. The actual story is out the window, there isn’t one.

See how letting the stolas fandom twitter write your story for you makes for a biased fucked up victim blaming story that coddles a sexual abuser with “involuntarily celibate” arguments?

When she makes stolas reflect and take accountability, the reaction she wants you to have is “Poor baby stolas blames himself which shows what a good little boy he is! Even though nothing is ever his fault!” She just wanted to make money off of someone else’s work.