#People preach tolerance and free will and speech

[amostdelectablescribbler]

WRONG *buzzer made from car horns*

the point ain’t to impress the passerby, although some do enjoy it, the point is to feel faster and cooler, regardless of how much you actually go faster. (You do. A good exhaust setup can squeeze out 5-15hp) The point is that we the car people think it sounds good and we all want (give or take) to be driving a racecar, and the sound of it is important. Mustangs wouldn’t be all too different from Camaros if you couldn’t hear the 5.0 Coyote or LS raging under the bonnet. Bugatti sounds like nothing else, same with the roaring, flame spitting v12s of Lamborghini. The Dodge Viper would be a fat Miata without the signature rumble of it’s 8.4L v10. The sound is part of it, and if you don’t like it, you’re just objectively wrong not initiated yet.

also let people have fun. if you don’t like something, that’s cool, but don’t stand under a nice bridge when you know there’s car guys around because we will drop a gear and cane it underneath to get the BIG noise. same with motorbikes, but for a different reason:

have you seen a motorbike ever? Have you seen a muffler ever? Do you think you can fit a muffler on a motorbike? The correct answer is no. You cannot. Bikes are louder because they’re in most scenarios faster and have no room to quiet down. Quiet motorbikes are electric and i call those “c4 on wheels” because that lithium battery is one slide on a rainy day away from blowing up.

in closing: let us have nice things. We don’t bitch about your econoboxes and money, let us have our expensive exhaust systems and loud bikes. Also, I have to say it;

TOUGH TITTIES, SHITASS.

Signed— car and motorbike person

i mean this from the bottom of my heart: no one is impressed by your loud ass car. actually we talked about it and we all want you dead.

[whereserpentswalk]

This is going to be a hard pill for some people to swallow, but your ability to promote ideas that transgress agaisnt society is contingent on terrible people having the same rights. Censorship is never going to be based on your personal morals, it will only ever be based on a combination of what society considers acceptable and the ideals of those in power. The paradox of tolerance, as it tends to be preached, is based on liberal ideas incompatible with any left of center movment.

Your rights are always going to be somewhat contingent on the rights of the worst people. And people who want to take them away will use the worst people as an example of how those rights need to be taken away.

You can't have leftism without free speech. If you want to give the society the power to destroy ideas it finds unacceptable, then you're just a neolib with a punk mask.

[tmarshconnors]

The Modern-Day Witch Hunt

The label "far-right" today carries as much weight and destruction as the cry of "witch!" did in the Middle Ages. 

No evidence needed, no investigation necessary just one accusation, and suddenly you're cast out, demonised, and ostracised. The term has become a catch-all, a convenient way to smear anyone who dares challenge the mainstream narrative. And I'm angry. I'm angry because this label isn't about protecting society from extremists it's about shutting people up, getting rid of the ones the powers that be don't like.

In the Middle Ages, women (and occasionally men) were labeled witches for everything from being a bit too independent to knowing how to use herbs. The accusations came without evidence, often based on hearsay, jealousy, or fear. The mob didn't care about facts. They cared about punishment. It was a tool for control, a way to silence the different, the non-conforming, the inconvenient.

Sound familiar?

Today, the new word hurled around with reckless abandon is "far-right." Disagree with the government? Far-right. Question mainstream media? Far-right. Express a thought that isn't perfectly in line with the social justice warrior handbook? Well, congratulations—you’re a Nazi now. There's no debate, no dialogue, no effort to understand why someone might hold a different view. Just an accusation. And just like the Middle Ages, it sticks. It sticks hard. The label isn't just a political designation anymore; it's a moral condemnation. The implication is that if you're "far-right," you’re evil. 

You must be silenced.

And here’s the kicker—there’s no real definition of what "far-right" even means anymore. It’s nebulous, vague, and deliberately broad. They’ve weaponised the term so that it applies to anyone they want to get rid of. You can be fiscally conservative and socially moderate, but God forbid you utter the wrong opinion on immigration, gender, or healthcare. The second you step out of line, there it is you're branded. Once you're marked, you're banished from polite society, canceled, and pushed into the margins.

Just like a witch.

The hypocrisy of it all is staggering. The same people who claim to be champions of tolerance and free speech are the ones waving the torches, lighting the pyres, and throwing around the accusations. They preach about "inclusion," but only if you subscribe to their ideology. If not, you’re not just excluded you’re demonised. They don’t want discourse; they want conformity. They don't want dialogue; they want obedience.

The modern witch hunts are real, and they are vicious. It’s not enough to disagree with someone’s politics anymore—you have to destroy them, strip them of their humanity, and reduce them to a two-dimensional villain. It’s lazy, it’s cowardly, and it’s dangerous.

In the Middle Ages, they drowned, hanged, or burned the ones they called witches. Today, they do it differently, but the outcome is the same. They ruin careers, smear reputations, and incite mobs to tear down anyone who dares dissent. The tools may have changed, but the intent hasn’t: silence the inconvenient, punish the different, and maintain control.

I refuse to stand by and watch as this modern witch hunt tears our society apart. The next time someone throws around the label "far-right," ask them what they mean. Demand evidence. Don’t let them get away with vague, slanderous accusations. Because today, it's someone else being labeled. Tomorrow, it could be you.

And I’ll be damned if I stand in silence, watching another pyre being lit.

[eaglesnick]

“Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful.”  Seneca the Younger

Nigel Farage is jetting off to the USA for a second time in a month. Pocketing  £12,000 for a speech at the “Keep Arizona Free Summit". it appears he is more interested in increasing his own personal wealth than serving the people of Clacton who elected him as their MP.

The “Keep Arizona Free” flier has this billing:

“Featuring Keynote Speaker Nigel Farage. Also known as “Mr Brexit", is a British politician, broadcaster and political analyst” (Keep Arizona Free Summit 2024)

Other speakers include the crusading Christian Brandon Tatum, a man who converted to Christianity in 2008 and now says he is working for the “Great Commission”. This means Tate is an evangelical Christian.

Unfortunately, Tate goes beyond simply preaching the word of God. Much like political Islam and Islamic extremists, Tate combines his faith with politics. He describes the Democratic Party in America as “the enemy".

“You cannot say that you are a Christian and you believe in Christian values and you turn around and vote for a party that believes in mutilating kids and gay marriage and all this other stuff,”  (Tate: 30/11/23)

I’m not sure how much child mutilation and “other stuff” happened under democrats Obama and Joe Biden but mixing politics and religion is a recipe for intolerance and dictatorship: just look to Iran, Afghanistan, Saudi Arabia, Mauritania and Yemen where Islamic theocratic governments rule with an iron fist. But don’t think a Christian theocratic dictatorship could not happen in the West.

“Jesus is their saviour, Trump is their candidate” was a recent headline in an apnews.com article.  And reiterating the hatred of liberal politicians, espoused by Nigel Farage’s fellow speaker Brandon Tate, Time Magazine said this:

“Trump has white evangelicals in his pocket. Whatever cognitive dissonance some devout Christians may feel for supporting a twice-impeached serial philandering liar who tried to stage a coup and threatens violence against political opponents is easily dismissed with the conviction that no Republican nominee, no matter how problematic, could be worse than losing to a Democrat.”

Another speaker sharing the Keep Arizona Free Summit platform with Nigel Farage is James T. Harris, another deeply religious man on the right of US politics, a man “committed to faith".

Farage will be in the company of like-minded people. Speaking of Britain, Farage said:

"We are a Christian country with a Christian constitution and a Christian monarch…I absolutely believe in Christian values that have made this country great." (Daily Mirror: 19/12/2015)

According to Evangelical Focus, only 6% of the UK population are practicing Christians, while 42% are non-practicing Christians. This presents Farage with a problem. Declaring his Christian believes will not bring him many votes, unlike in the USA where political evangelicalism thrives. But don’t believe for one minute right wing Christians don’t look to Farage as a UK saviour in the same way fundamentalist Christians in America look toward Trump.

This was a headline during the recent UK election campaigne:

“Reform UK: The Best Option for British Christians”. (Crisis Magazine: 01/07/24)

Fundamentalist Christians, like fundamentalist Islamist, are totally intolerant of people with values and believes that do not match their particulate brand of religious zealotry. 

Railing against the concept of social justice, Crisis said that Christians in the western world (do they mean white Christians?) were:

“..ignoring the voting recommendations of bishops wedded to a “social justice” ideology largely developed by the very same prelates, priests, thinkers, and activists who variously tolerate, implicitly accept, or actively favor sexual immorality, female ordination, liturgical abuses and numerous other evils—turning instead to such parties as the Brothers of Italy, Poland’s Law and Justice Party, and France’s National Rally.”

There you have it. GOOD Christians vote for the far-right. BAD Christians vote for liberal democracy, which brings us back to the “Keep Arizona Free Summit" and its guest speakers.

All three are regarded as “good Christians” hence their invitation to speak.

I am sure the people of Clacton, where over half of those over 16 are “economically inactive” will be cheering their support as Farage pockets his £12,000  fee as a “good Christian”. Maybe, he will ask his fellow speakers to pray for the one-in-three children in Clacton who are living in poverty? Maybe Farage, the highest paid MP in Parliament, will take heed of what Jesus said about riches.

 “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven.” (Matthew 19:12)

Maybe, but I sincerely doubt it.

[egg0nface]

I have such mixed thoughts about being trans, like I’m so thankful for the people I’ve met and the things I’ve learned and who I’ve become because of finding out I was trans, but my life would of been a lot fucking easier if I wasn’t. Like simple things like going out in public, using bathrooms, seeing family, etc inspire fear in me. I don’t have the privilege to live life (I mean who really does here in America) but it’s like I never really got the chance to even try and that really hurts. Especially now in America when trans people are, for lack of a better word, a victim of genocide. I’m scared to go outside, let alone go to school, which most everyone already hates, but everything I do gets picked apart, and what I wear and how I act dictates if people will respect my very person. It’s terrifying yk? I have had threats to my life multiple times, you have to understand what that does to a person…

It gets even worse when you go into the directly political sphere, my very existence in the world is simply a question of tolerance to most people. I’m not doubting that being trans isn’t directly political, because everything we experience in our daily lives is as a result of politics, but I find it quite disconcerting that it’s so simple to reduce personhood to label words. We really need to learn, as a society, that people are greater than the sum of their parts. We are all people, we all experience struggle, and we are all united in our feeling of discontent. We are all oppressed but there is a special oppression within this world that comes from putting us against each other, it’s obvious where bigotry comes from, and yet people still fall for the same old “worries” they have for decades. Oppression comes from a lack of understanding and a willingness to blame other people for systemic issues. We have the power and ability to move past this but it’s impossible in a world that has to breed hostility for profit. Our conditions are unacceptable and instead of pointing our anger at the system, a lot of people end up blaming other groups.

I wrote a short essay about a year ago when I was hearing a lot about anti-trans legislation and I think it’s still significant now,

“People constantly preach acceptance and equality, but once things get hard it’s a different story. People will go from posting in support of us, to calling us pedophiles or believing we aren’t real in a matter of months. The same people who say they believe in free speech and talk of themselves as original free thinkers are the same ones silencing us, taking away our rights, and killing us. If that’s ‘freedom’ I don’t want it.

Trans people are the boogeyman of the day. You are allowed to say ‘the quiet part allowed’, in public. We are the group to attack. Any ‘free thinker’ would quickly find that we are NOT what conservatives fear-monger people with. Any ‘free thinker’ would not blindly follow the status quo. Any person ‘pro-freedom’ wouldn’t want or allow our rights to be stripped away. Any person ‘pro-freedom’ wouldn’t want us dead.

I hope people know (and I know for sure they do, it’s their goal) that with every anti-trans bill/law people will die. Wether it’s from back-alley surgeries and hormones, or suicide, people—including the ‘children’ these republican assholes say they are protecting—will die. Our lives will end without satisfaction, without a chance to be ourselves. Our lives will end and it will be the legislators fault, it will be the parents who witheld their child's freedom, it will be the news stations' fault, it will be all the religious pundits who advocate for our death's fault. They will be to blame. They are nothing less than murderers.

This is far from over. We are not the first, nor the last group to face this. As a society we are regressing (you'll never guess why /s). It's pretty obvious what's next but, to distract us from what's at play, there are manufactured culture wars to keep us occupied, so they can further their death toll. They say they want us gone, and they will follow through if they are allowed. They have the power and human life has never detered them before. I encourage you to critically think about what you choose to believe, and don't give in to the Fox News bastards' propagandistic knowledge."

I remember the fear and anger I felt when writing this. The state I’m in is definitely not the worst of the anti-trans legislation but it’s definitely not the best, and it’s not helpful that I don’t live in the most progressive of towns. This shit’s happening everywhere though and that’s probably the worst part. We are retrogressing rapidly and it’s not like it’s a new phenomena, this has been happening for many years.

Passing is a whole other issue. I don’t really feel a desire to be stealth in most circumstances because I feel like me being trans is a big part of my politics and politics is a massive part of who I am. I have a desire to be comfortable in my body but I don’t have a desire to fit into their arbitrary standards.

Ultimately, there’s no winning. Our ‘gender’ is imposed on us from birth and defying that standard isn’t acceptable to a lot of people. I mean at least the politicians have a reason to hate us, i mean it’s in their class interest, not to mention, it gives them something to be mad about.

[drbased]

Most people don't want to have to care outside their bubble; they're comfortable enough in their own lot no matter how shitty it is, and their primary goal in life is to feel included, to feel normal, to feel heard, and that everyone should 'just get along' - you can call these people centrist or liberal, but I think they'd probably call themselves 'apolitical'. I'm inclined to agree with their self-identification not because 'apolitical' exists but rather that these people would rather under all circumstances explicitly seek to reject portraying themselves as political in any way, in order to gain psychological comfort/social capital as being percieved as 'normal' as possible. This is in contrast to centrists or liberals who do make it obvious that they have some certain political stance - even if their politics are weak, they're still much more likely to 'cause a fuss' at the dinner table than the apolitical person, who would much rather everyone 'just get along'. Ultimately, unlike those who attempt to have political opinions, the primary viewpoint of the apolitical person is that people are fundamentally good and therefore everyone deserves to be heard. As a result, the average 'apolitical' person will have views that encompass the entire spectrum, typically except for the far left, because 1. the overton window and 2. actual leftist rhetoric is disruptive of the status quo - so whilst a lot of these people will be horrified at the idea of nazis, in reality they are more likely to give nazi talking points a chance.

And when push comes to shove, in a world where your politics is becoming something you have to broadcast and defend on the world's stage as part of your personality, morality and world-view, the apolitical masses are always going to gravitate to whatever political position they feel the safest it. For women who have been negatively affected by trans issues, they're suddenly faced with a form of 'politics' that is not just theoretical but real to them, so it becomes their primary focus. They don't have a holistic interest in politics because, once again, their main goal here is to feel included. These people weren't always necessarily going to be sharing daily mail articles and laughing at troons, but if doing those things allows them to feel that they never have to question any other parts of their politics, if it allows them to feel that there's at least one area of society where they can feel normal and safe again, then they're going to do that.

You could definitely label this as people 'revealing who they were all along' but I think that describes a form of intent that isn't there. Yes, the kind of people who subscribe to being 'normal' at all costs are the ones who always benefit the most from being 'normal' - but there will be plenty of oppressed people who feel that way too, who cling hard to 'normal' because part of this belief systems requires assuming the inherent goodness of people, that if we just stop being meanies and kicking up a fuss, despite our flaws things will work out in the end. For those oppressed in a horrible system, wanting to fit into oppressor demands of this slippery concept of 'being normal' can be a very potent form of hope, as opposed to the depressing idea that those who hurt us 'accidentally' are actually quite happy to keep doing so 'accidentally' forever.

Right wing ideologies are obsessed with the 'hypocritical intolerence of the left' - they love the idea that the left preaches 'tolerance' of what they consider ideological ideas of 'black life matter', 'women should have access to abortions' etc. yet the left rejects the ideologies of the right. So the primary recruiting tactic of the right will always be 'we allow free discussion here', 'we're just asking questions', 'freedom of speech', 'I'm so glad we can have calm and civil disagreement here' etc. etc., all dogwhistling towards this idea that you can, once again, be normal and you're not judged by your political views anymore. Of course, we all know this is a lie, because right-wingers will be the ones most likely to 'kick up a fuss', and their fundmental ideology is built off a deeply pessimistic idea that no-one can ever get along, which is why we need things like corporal punishment to keep people in line. This is entirely antithetical to the 'apolitical' person's viewpoints, but over time - and this is where someone might say the 'mask slips' - they discover that even those views might not be necessary anymore. The apolitical person is ultimately tolerant of whatever community allows them to feel normal above all else.

I've seen that kind of 'we're the normal ones' rhetoric dotted all over the radblr platform and it's taken me literally years now to finally be able to articulate exactly why it concerns me. Members of this community will make fun of other leftists for having looney, out-there viewpoints whilst espousing the least popular ideology/politics the world has ever known. A lot of the anti-trans rhetoric especially often contains this stink of 'they're weird and broken - unlike us, who have common sense and good values that make us normal', emphasising badly dressed trans-identified men with stubble. Whilst no one outright says it, the onslought of 'some transwoman with an awful mugshot commits sexual assault' articles, typically from lowest common denominator right-wing sources, evokes conservative sensibilities of fear of sexual deviance. This is not about any of the articles or even the rhetoric in isolation, but rather as a collective language that communicates ideas in a similar way to the right-wing reactionary machine. And the defenses of it are the same - daily mail and spectator articles are shared in radical feminists spaces, and gender critical figureheads get interviews on right-wing podcasts, with the justification of 'no one else is talking about this!' mirroring the rhetoric of other apolitical people who get sucked down the right-wing pipeline. Attacks on JKR are rebuked as 'silencing of free speech' under 'cancel culture' - accidentally placing them under the right-wing talking point of the 'culture war' rather than recognising them as acts of misogyny. I have seen radfems on this platform comment at how wonderful it is that we can have civil disagreement, and that we're free of dogma here - and whilst I'm glad you feel that way, I also can't help but notice that's the same sentiment that those entering right-wing spaces claim to feel.

And not every radical feminist does this - not everyone needs to do it, or even most need to do it. As I said, this is not about any one thing or any one person in isolation but rather a collective language and what that conveys, intentionally or otherwise, to both those consuming it and those using it. The thing about right-wing ideas is that they're a magnet for people who want to feel included - because the thing about a collective of people who don't care/are actively malicious is that they're willing to offer a mutual agreement that they'll ignore your transgressions as long as you ignore theirs - with the insinuation that there is mutual respect between you. But also, the thing about someone who doesn't care/is actively malicious is that they're willing to break that agreement any time it becomes convenient. Because for all the posturing about 'normal' all they want to do is preserve some assumed status quo of hierarchy and domination, and they will do anything to sell that as normalcy to you, because once again, they don't give a shit.

Radical feminists are in an odd place politically, and the accusation that feminism has always been a bourgiousie activity only practiced by privileged women at the expense of poor women is as old as there has been anything resembling feminism. It mirrors the critique of leftism on the whole being a bourgiousie activity practiced by the educated cultural elite who wish to raise the consciousness of the unwashed masses, who will ultimately suffer much more than they ever will in 'the revolution'. But I think it's important to note here that whilst criticism of the 'liberal elite' is alive and well, feminism carries this stigma much more visibly - because of course it does. Women are always held up to much more scrutiny of their 'moral purity'; the 'hypocrisy fallacy' as I call it is always applied much more routinely and vigorously to women; women are always supposed to be a representative of something bigger than us (because we can never matter on our own), which is why 'feminism' can't be popular until it always encompasses all other forms of social justice issue. Radical feminists, then, who choose to focus on women, are accused of being right-wing because society is primed to view our refusal to dilute the cause as pretending that those other causes don't matter.

There will always be people, those apolitical people especially, who pick up this broad message from 'the left' that they're 'supposed' to care about things they never wanted to care about. Of course, 'the left' doesn't really exist - it has always been the fragmented and confused jumble of various different oppressed groups with differing goals within their ranks, let alone between them. Calling this group 'the left' allows for a simplification of aims and of minds that allows for easy demonisation of them - and an easy application of that same hypocrisy fallacy that as 'the left' is supposed to 'know better', any one person or thing that's supposed to be aligned with 'leftist values' is held to much more violent scrutiny than the apparent ideological free-for-all that is 'the right'. Those who feel 'failed' by 'the left' are drawn to right-wing politics because they wish to take the power back - I know a white working class man who, whilst fiscally leftist, thinks that the labour party are focusing too much on those pesky social justice issues and not addressing the fears of their core voter base (white working class men), primarily on immigration, and wanted to vote BNP not because he agreed with them on most things but essentially to 'scare' the left into action. People were confused when people in the US went from going to vote bernie sanders to voting trump instead - but this is all representative of how people think of the left as a monolith that is supposed to represent them, and if it can't represent them (especially if, in the minds of certain people, it's representing other oppressed groups more than them) then they want to 'punish' the left by aligning themselves with some right wing force.

So, then, women who feel 'failed' by 'the left', are going to want to make a stand against them. Whilst women don't go down the 'alt right pipeline', we do live in a society, and as members of said society we breathe the same cultural oxygen, we pick up on the cultural language, we find our own way to gain the freedom that men have. There are women who will adopt the edgy 4chan speak, using the t slur and the r slur liberally. There are women who argue that because our unique oppression as women, that we don't need to care about other 'social justice issues'. Whilst this is definitely not reflective of the community as a whole, the community as a whole meanwhile has adopted this attitude in a lighter, more palatable way. In this community I have seen nazi comics, right-wing rhetoric, right-wing news articles, an article from a transparently evangelical website, babylon bee headlines, and the 'orbiters' who include trad women and 'centrist' men who it's clear have no interest in feminism in any way. But more broadly, I have seen a general disinterest in any politics outside this bubble, and that has been reflected in the lack of political literacy. The repeated radfem argument over 'sex work' being broadly a defence of 'work' as concept is illustrative of this political incuriosity. And even more concerningly, there's the fact that this community seems to have difficulty recognising right-wing dogwhistles (I once tried to argue 'I'm just asking questions' is a common one to a radfem who responded to me with clueless indignation), especially when we're so quick to mockingly retort at those who label us nazis.

I'm not saying those accusations are correct or even in good faith, and I'm not saying that we should play the 'respectability' game. What I'm saying is that a large collection of factors has resulted in a community of women who desperately desire freedom at all costs, political freedom included, and unfortunately we live in a world where desiring political freedom leaves you open to absorbing right-wing ideas, attitudes and rhetoric. The medium is the message. I know it's not our job as women to dilute our politics, but I also think, for example, paying attention to just how obsessed right-wingers are with trans people might give you an insight into why left-wingers are so jumpy on the subject. When it reaches the point where radfems are advocating that we shouldn't vote for the major leftist party because they advocate for self-ID, that's when I see the hyperfixation on trans issues completely override recognition of any other leftist issue. I don't know if the community has gotten better or if I just follow better people, but I've seen none of that rhetoric this time around - and very much the opposite, saying that once again a move towards some form of leftism is better than sitting around smugly saying we should firebomb a wallmart. Additionally, I'm seeing an increasing number of 'tirfs' in the community and whilst I disagree with the label ('terf' is a derogatary term and is used against you the moment you criticise the dogma of transgenderism, so calling yourself a 'tirf' is akin to saying you're 'not like other girls' imo), what I am seeing is a different kind of politics entering the space. I think this khelif situation has been an eye-opener for many people at just how limited radical feminist politics can make you - when you reject 'the left' for the sake of it you end up rejecting incredibly legitimate ideas, and you're left parroting a purist view of biology that leaves you entirely unprepared for a case of a female-socialised person with a male dsd.

I really don't know where this is going to go; all I know is that those people who don't really want to engage with politics but feel pushed to are always going to exist, and they're always going to be the ones who want to simplify any movement, and they're always going to be the ones at the face of it (*cough*jkr*cough*) - whilst those people are good at coming up with the slogans, good at making ideas accessible, good at coming up with clap-backs and insults etc. etc. they're always going to have their limits, and they're always going to fall back on stock phrases when challenged. When trans activists try to argue with me, they're suddenly met with a wall of text and a person who's considered much more of their own politics than they expect. But that's because debating is not my role in all of this - I write the big blocks of text and anyone who wants to read it will do so. Ultimately movements will consist of a variety of people with varying interest levels in the theory itself, and without being able to meet in person we're all left to stew in our own misery, isolated from each other. It's a bad environment for engagement with ideas, especially with us all overstimulated and overworked under late-stage capitalism anyway. I'm really not sure how to end this piece - I guess my main hope is that the khelif situation will make the community at large have a good think about how we engage with politics.

Regarding my last two posts I think so many radfems are used to being called conservative they’re desensitised as to what the accusation even is and think it’s super rebellious and cool to give up and share conservative stuff anyway

[hellmry]

What do you think of this whole "ppl shipping SessRin are basically supporting paedophilia” on tumblr? I've seen lots of japapense fans on twitter and they're all basically happy for the huge possibility of having Rin as Sesshomaru's wife and the mother of Towa and Setsuna, and then I go to tumblr and see all these SessRin bashing, saying that their bond should have kept platonic, the "real" sesshomaru will not behave romantically with Rin, etc. Idk what to think? :/ What are your thoughts?

oh goody, this is going to be a long one.

it’s so ridiculous 🙄 I’ve seen this “paedophilia” argument so many times and it’s triggering how they misuse this term so much. Especially as a law student (pet peeve: people misusing technical terms and making very serious (false) accusations).

Paedophilia tends to be the umbrella term for everything with a big age gap or when one party of the couple knew the other party as a child, which shows how uneducated they are with their try hard activism. Paedophilia is a psychiatric disorder, when an adult is primary or exclusively sexually attracted to prepubescent children.

No one in their right mind ships Sesshomaru with Rin while she was still a kid, I’ve yet to see someone who actively ships them in a romantic setting with her still being a kid. All the shippers I’ve come across and fanworks made, are her being a young adult or adult.

The other term they’re throwing around is “grooming”, while thinking it means he groomed her into his wife, which is also false and a misuse of the term. Grooming happens, when an adult is befriending and establishing an emotional connection with a child in order to lower the child’s inhibitions with the object of sexual abuse. Sessh didn’t approach her with any sexual intentions in mind, he tolerated her following him out of pity, which turned into being her protector after a while. As I see it, Jaken was more of a father figure for her than Sessh was. He ignored her most of the times, just watching over her and made sure she was safe (i mean, like a dog...a guard dog). And he certainly didn’t “groom” her into being his wife, that dude did not show any signs of romantic interest while she was a child. Heck, he was pretty stoic most of the times.

The fact, that people who saw Sessh as a father figure for Rin exist, is actually our strongest argument against their paedophilia accusation. They wouldn’t have been able to perceive their relationship as such in the first place, if there were ANY romantic advances or signs while she was a child. Wanna see and read about a real pedophile story/relationship? Go read Lolita by Vladimir Nobakov, it’s disturbing.

Another form of grooming happens, when someone is manipulated until they’re isolated, dependent and more vulnerable to exploitation (can also happen with adults). Though it was only a filler episode, in episode 162 (Forever with Lord Sesshomaru), Sessh even gave her the free choice to either stay with humans or follow him (with his trademark line “do as you please”). In the Manga she was staying with Kaede in the end. And she was friends with Kohaku. She mostly fended for herself (with Jaken), foraging for food in the wild or secretly on farms. Rin was certainly not isolated or dependent. I’m not even digging into the exploitation point, because there is nothing to say.

I admit, they way SessRin developed is not completely unproblematic and the biggest factor is, that he met her while she was still a child. I can agree with that, but most SessRin shippers do not ship them because he knew her as a child, but because she was the first one who he cared for. If you break it down, it’s pretty much the cold-emotionless-bad boy-falls-for-a-girl-after-being-shown-kindness-for-the-first-time trope. SessRin shippers would’ve also shipped them if Rin was the same age as Kagome the first time they’ve met. Rin being a child when they met is not the base of this ship, it’s their relationship and how she broke through Sessh’s walls and that she was the first (human) being he ever cared for. She was also the reason Sessh slowly began to accept Tenseiga as his sword.

People who are saying Sessh went out of character and should’ve stayed on platonic terms with Rin, clearly have no idea about storytelling and character development. Sessh is a dog demon. Inuyasha is a dog demon. Inu no Taisho was a dog demon. Rin is a human, Kikyo was a human, Kagome is a human, Izayoi was a human. Basically, dogs love humans and create very strong bonds with them. Even staying loyal when their owner mistreats or abuses them. The whole series builds up on this dog-human dynamic. Basically every romantic interest involving a dog demon ended up being a dog-human pair. What’s not clicking?

I also find it quite funny, how some of those people can also ship Kagome and Inuyasha while preaching their (false) paedophilia speech in the same sentence. Kagome was 15 when she met 200 year old Inuyasha. 15. That’s a teenager. I’m 26 and when I see 15 year olds, they look like toddlers to me. I don’t see anyone advocating for Kagome’s minor rights. The whole world flipped when Drake was dating a 18 year old but the fandom is still pretty silent about the fact, that Kagome was also 18 when she was married to 203 y/o Inuyasha in the epilogue. InuKag and SessKag shippers don’t get the same criticism as SessRin shippers, even though Kagome is also still a minor and that’s where you see the hypocrisy.

They can ship her because her design looks older and it’s easier to forget that she’s 15/18. Usagi from Sailor Moon was 14 when she met and began a romantic relationship with Mamoru, who was 17. Even though both are considered minors, 14 is a lot different than 17 but nobody bat an eye for that either. Probably it’s because Usagi doesn’t look like a 14 year old. Kagome doesn’t look like a 15 year old. But Rin looks her age, she looks like an 8 year old when they first met, evoking a different perception in people of being a minor, the age gap and her vulnerability. That’s the only reason I can think of, why people are fine with InuKag, SessKag, KogaKag and whatever, even though it’s essentially almost the same setting as with SessRin. Rin is a minor, Kagome is a minor, they both are protected by their stronger and much older demon travel partners. And its hypocritical to try and argue a difference because grooming and abuse of an 8 year old is such as horrific as of an 15 year old. If one of them is a victim, then both are.

I’m not trying to shit on InuKag or other Kagome ships btw., I love Kagome and InuKag, I’m just trying to show the hypocrisy in their fake activism, because it’s not based on facts and information but rather on subjective feelings and perception. It’s fine and legitimate to not like SessRin because of said reasons, but it is wrong to judge others for shipping it and accuse them of supporting paedophilia. People who are triggered by SessRin, should stay away from it but leave those alone, who enjoy it.

Oh and before someone runs their mouth at me and use personal history as an argument, I’ve been a victim of paedophilia and grooming myself. I was touched and molested by my private tutor for years between 5th and 7th grade. But I’ve overcome my trauma, educated myself and I’m able to tell fiction from reality. Nobody watches Inuyasha for relationship and dating advice. Misusing terms is actually harming the ones involved and projecting one own’s traumas and struggles onto others, by shaming them for shipping something is not helping anyone and doesn’t make a difference at all.

Lastly, no SessRin shipper is condoning real life child/adult relationships. We are able to ship them because fictional stories are less dimensional than real life situations are. Fictional relationships have less nuances, cherry picked dynamics and moments that make us perceive them in a specific way. It is man made. What seems romantic in a fictional story (even between two adults) may be littered with red flags or less exciting and boring in a real life setting. People consume fiction mainly for entertainment, not for real life and dating advice.

Remember, this is just a fictional story, just chill the f out.

[alifeintension-blog]

Died 53 years ago today - RFK

REMARKS TO THE CLEVELAND CITY CLUB, APRIL 5, 1968

(The following text is taken from a news release version of Robert F. Kennedy's remarks.)

Robert F. Kennedy

Cleveland City Club

April 5, 1968

This is a time of shame and sorrow. It is not a day for politics. I have saved this one opportunity to speak briefly to you about this mindless menace of violence in America which again stains our land and every one of our lives.

It is not the concern of any one race. The victims of the violence are black and white, rich and poor, young and old, famous and unknown. They are, most important of all, human beings whom other human beings loved and needed. No one - no matter where he lives or what he does - can be certain who will suffer from some senseless act of bloodshed. And yet it goes on and on.

Why? What has violence ever accomplished? What has it ever created? No martyr's cause has ever been stilled by his assassin's bullet.

No wrongs have ever been righted by riots and civil disorders. A sniper is only a coward, not a hero; and an uncontrolled, uncontrollable mob is only the voice of madness, not the voice of the people.

Whenever any American's life is taken by another American unnecessarily - whether it is done in the name of the law or in the defiance of law, by one man or a gang, in cold blood or in passion, in an attack of violence or in response to violence - whenever we tear at the fabric of life which another man has painfully and clumsily woven for himself and his children, the whole nation is degraded.

"Among free men," said Abraham Lincoln, “there can be no successful appeal from the ballot to the bullet; and those who take such appeal are sure to lose their cause and pay the costs."

Yet we seemingly tolerate a rising level of violence that ignores our common humanity and our claims to civilization alike. We calmly accept newspaper reports of civilian slaughter in far off lands. We glorify killing on movie and television screens and call it entertainment. We make it easy for men of all shades of sanity to acquire weapons and ammunition they desire.

Too often we honor swagger and bluster and the wielders of force; too often we excuse those who are willing to build their own lives on the shattered dreams of others. Some Americans who preach nonviolence abroad fail to practice it here at home. Some who accuse others of inciting riots have by their own conduct invited them.

Some looks for scapegoats, others look for conspiracies, but this much is clear; violence breeds violence, repression brings retaliation, and only a cleaning of our whole society can remove this sickness from our soul.

For there is another kind of violence, slower but just as deadly, destructive as the shot or the bomb in the night. This is the violence of institutions; indifference and inaction and slow decay. This is the violence that afflicts the poor, that poisons relations between men because their skin has different colors. This is a slow destruction of a child by hunger, and schools without books and homes without heat in the winter.

This is the breaking of a man's spirit by denying him the chance to stand as a father and as a man among other men. And this too afflicts us all. I have not come here to propose a set of specific remedies nor is there a single set. For a broad and adequate outline we know what must be done. When you teach a man to hate and fear his brother, when you teach that he is a lesser man because of his color or his beliefs or the policies he pursues, when you teach that those who differ from you threaten your freedom or your job or your family, then you also learn to confront others not as fellow citizens but as enemies - to be met not with cooperation but with conquest, to be subjugated and mastered.

We learn, at the last, to look at our brothers as aliens, men with whom we share a city, but not a community, men bound to us in common dwelling, but not in common effort. We learn to share only a common fear - only a common desire to retreat from each other - only a common impulse to meet disagreement with force. For all this there are no final answers.

Yet we know what we must do. It is to achieve true justice among our fellow citizens. The question is now what programs we should seek to enact. The question is whether we can find in our own midst and in our own hearts that leadership of human purpose that will recognize the terrible truths of our existence.

We must admit the vanity of our false distinctions among men and learn to find our own advancement in the search for the advancement of all. We must admit in ourselves that our own children's future cannot be built on the misfortunes of others. We must recognize that this short life can neither be ennobled or enriched by hatred or revenge.

Our lives on this planet are too short and the work to be done too great to let this spirit flourish any longer in our land. Of course we cannot vanish it with a program, nor with a resolution.

But we can perhaps remember - even if only for a time - that those who live with us are our brothers, that they share with us the same short movement of life, that they seek - as we do - nothing but the chance to live out their lives in purpose and happiness, winning what satisfaction and fulfillment they can.

Surely this bond of common faith, this bond of common goal, can begin to teach us something. Surely we can learn, at least, to look at those around us as fellow men and surely we can begin to work a little harder to bind up the wounds among us and to become in our hearts brothers and countrymen once again.

Source: Papers of Robert F. Kennedy. Senate Papers. Speeches and Press Releases 1965-1968, Box 4, "4/ l/68 - 4/l0/68." John F. Kennedy Presidential Library.

[biot08]

Preaching to the choir

*long, long before the events of the ARR, before her adventuring career:*

Rayford Portier was reaching the end of recounting the things that he wished to bring to Ser Vauban’s attention regarding the current state of everything he had felt affected the little fort in Coerthas. There was much; despite the lack of importance of the family’s name, the fort was still a critical outpost in the Dragonsong war, and the patrol routes that left it regularly covered a large area. He had mentioned the need for certain supplies, had brought in letters that would need to be distributed, and the skywatcher’s early reports for the upcoming season. But at last, he found he could finally no longer avoid the news he was not looking forward to relaying. “…and, ah, your father sends word of one last bit of business.”

He did not continue talking. Zoissette had spent much of the meeting busying herself with the watch schedule, her pen scribbling names into slots. She was paying attention, and the break in the flow of Rayford’s speech did not go unnoticed. Her writing slowed as she finished writing one last name for now, and she gently stuck the feathers of her quill into her mouth before slowly looking up with a head tilt. Rayford simply fixed her with a steady gaze. She reached over, and placed the pen back into its ink pot, and she sat up.

“The Inquisition intends to make an appearance at the closing of the next moon.”

The two looked at each other. Zoissette drew a long breath in and then let it out slow. She leaned forward, and clasped her hands tightly together on the desk. She had been at the fort for a bit over five seasons. During that time, she had seen and participated in several skirmishes. She had taken care of her people as best as she was able with the meager budget a lesser house could spare. The fort was important enough to be manned, but not at all glamourous. It was sticks duty. There would be no chance for young up and comings to make their name out here, mostly rebuffing scouting parties. It was a duty that was tolerated as necessary, but not celebrated, and gaining the trust of the soldiers and support staff had required simply showing up and doing the work. No speeches. No lectures. No preaching. Just showing up, and showing that she was simply there to do the job. And certainly no delusions of power (she didn’t have), delusions of holiness (she didn’t feel), nor displays of extravagance (she wouldn’t waste precious resources on).

She could feel it all fraying and coming apart under the heavy hand of the Holy See.

When she spoke, she drew out her words, enunciating fully, as though care of word indicated holiness of intent. “Have they said what cause of heresy they suspect?”

“None, ser. They claim this to be a routine visit. It has been some time since they have come out this way. Apparently, to hear your father retell it, they merely think now to be an opportune time. The astrologians believe this to be a point of a longer lull than usual in the fighting. The Holy See wishes to make an appearance. Do a few interviews. Make sure all is well, and when they find that it is, take the opportunity to… remind the soldiers who they fight for, and what they fight against.”

Rayford’s tone was politely neutral. It always was. A skill he practiced as he lived. Zoissette was pretty sure his idea of raising his voice was inflecting his syllables differently.

“I… see. Well, I doubt they will find anything here,” Zoissette said. There was an unspoken ‘I hope’ there. She was new yet, but not stupid. Heretics, if they were present, would certainly go to pains to keep themselves hidden.

“May I be free with my words, ser?”

“Always, Rayford. Always and particularly now.”

“The men and women will need to be told, but you should be careful with how you handle them in the coming weeks. This will be a delicate time. Many of them have had run ins with the Inquisition over their lives. All of them will have seen the Inquistion’s work at a distance. The work may be necessary, but it is often brutal, and even the most innocent and pious sort of man may see a hollow shadow behind him in the mirror when he hears that the inquisitors will be calling.”

Zoissette buried her face in her hands. “I know.”

~~~

The Sergeant at Arms stood over the practice pit, watching lancers and archers coordinate their attacks on the training dummies at the far end of the area. He was an old hyur, with gray grizzled hair and a scar on half his face. He had lost an ear and his good looks to a dragon early in his career, and like as not would be at the fort supervising others rather than being out on patrol. He did not care for that, but his experience was valuable, and he had the rare enough knack of teaching.

Zoissette liked him. He tolerated her. She knew that, and appreciated it for what it was.

He was now frowning at the news. Zoissette often would just stop in long enough to do turnover with him and then be on her way without getting in his, but this time, she lingered, watching him mull over the news, and wanting to be present should he have something to say about it.

He looked over at her, expression dark, and lowered his voice.

“Do they suspect heresy here, madam?”

She hated being called madam, but she let him get away with it. Again. Good teacher. Rare knack. And he didn’t let the others do it, so a minor loss for a better gain.

“No. Routine visit, they say. Just want to conduct interviews and remind us of our duties.”

The man’s scowl deepened, and he pointed at a pair of trainees that had slowed their advance. Once they were startled back into action, he turned to Zoissette.

“Ill news. Almost be easier if they had announced they had found heretics and were performing their investigation. Then my soldiers would have focus. They would not trust each other for a bit, sure, but I can work with that. As it is, they will be jumping at every shadow, jumping over each other to ‘prove’ their piousness. Discipline’ll improve, sure. Moral, though? It’s going to plummet. The next month is going to be hell.”

Zoissette sighed, and nodded. “I know.”

The two continued to discuss the realities of the situation and how to try to work through it, and then both returned their attention to their respective duties.

~~~

Zoissette was in the fort’s library. The fort was small, but it did have its library, and a reasonable selection of books. She was hoping to find a treatise on pole arm tactics.

Instead, as she turned away from the shelves empty-handed, she found one of the maids standing there, eyes downcast and hands folded in front of her. The woman was obviously in distress.

Odd. Usually the house staff would go to Rayford if they needed something.

“Esmerelda?”

“Y-yes madam. Knight! Knight ser. Ser. Yes, yes ser,” the woman stammered.

“Hey hey hey. Deep breath in, let it out slow, you’re okay, we’re okay.”

“Yes. Of course, ser. Yes ser. Begging your pardon, ser…”

The woman’s voice trailed off, becoming small. Zoissette clasped her hands behind her, and gave the woman her full attention. She suspected.

She was right.

“Ser, do we… do we have heretics, here, ser?”

Zoissette shook her head. “Not that I know. Look, it’s… it’s just a routine visit. Nothing to worry about. They say they just-“

The woman swallowed, hard, and stared at the floor. Zoissette fell silent, to let the woman have space to speak.

“My… my apologies, ser. This is hard for me. I … I am a good and pious woman, ser. I know I have nothing to fear from the Inquisition, ser. I know it. I … I KNOW it, ser. But… I want you to know it too, ser.”

Zoissette inwardly had to admit, that usually Rayford was the bridge between her and the staff, much as the Sergeant at Arms was the bridge between her and the non-noble soldiers. But this woman was clearly in distress, and it fell to her to be present. Zoissette nodded, and put a hand on the maid’s shoulder.

“Of course. I have never had cause to suspect.”

“I… I apologize, ser.. I just… it’s just… I came to House Vauban because I could no longer stand to stay at my previous house, ser. They found… they found heretics among the staff, ser. They… they chose to make an example of them, ser.”

The woman took several deep breaths, steadying her nerves, and then all of a sudden, her expression went dead, and her body seemed to fold in on itself.

“They put them to the sword in the courtyard, ser. I thought several of them my friends, ser. They ended it quickly, thank the Fury for small mercies, but… I am no soldier, ser. I am just house staff. I had seen death before of course. We all have. But this was different. I did not handle it gracefully. In the days and moons afterward, I could not see the courtyard without seeing … them. So I left, ser. Your family was kind enough to take me on, ser. It can be hard for a commoner to find good work if they leave their priors like I did, but yours took me on, and I am grateful, but…”

The woman’s voice trailed off. Zoissette tried a smile she hoped was reassuring and squeezed the maid’s shoulder. The maid looked up at Zoissette’s hand, and reached her own up, to touch it.

“I know I am out of line, ser. And I know the Inquisition is necessary ser. But I cannot forget that day, ser. I am a good and pious woman, I promise ser. I just… I just need you to know that.”

“I know,” said Zoissette.

~~~

“We’ve got a problem,” said Ser Jervoix.

Vauban was a minor house, and the fort was not an important one, but sometimes the other minor houses would pass around their knights, both as a show of mutual support and a way to expand the experience of their officer corps. The fort was not a prestigious outpost, and the work was not exactly easy, but it still had to be done. And that was how Zoissette had come to have another visiting noble who helped her. She had only been there for a season, and would only stay for another. She had been surly at first, but had steadily grown used to the situation, and while she was not a friend, she was at least reasonable to work with. So while Zoissette handled matters closer to the fort, being the face of the family, Gilda Jervoix had been leading patrols and managing the remote camp.

That she had come back early said much. That her first sentence was that said more. Zoissette nodded and gestured to the table nearby. The two sat, and Zoissette poured them both a cup of the customary mulled wine.

“One of our men spooked at the news of the Inquisition coming,” said Gilda. “When he went, several others abandoned their posts also.”

Zoissette groaned. “Heretics after all?”

“I am sure the Inquisition will suspect so, but no. I don’t think so. I spoke with the men. It took some asking around, and a bribe or two, but I learned much. The man who first ran was in a village that had unknowingly harbored heretics. They were apparently sneaking into an abandoned house using a tunnel system of some sort.”

“I think I recall hearing this news from my father. It’s one of those inspiring stories they like to tell. The heretics were found out because they were stealing from the villagers under cover of night. When the villagers investigated, they stumbled upon the heretics’ stash, finding both their stolen items and some draconic artifacts. Rather than handle the situation themselves, they pretended to ignore it. Notified the Inquisition.”

“I heard the same story, right. The Inquisition swept in, burned the heretics, and held the people of the town up as model citizens.”

“I feel like that story must be at least ten years old. What’s that have to do with our missing man?”

“That story is a just a little older than your guess. Older than I remembered, to be honest. Sixteen years ago, it made quite an impression on a certain eight year old who watched the house next to his get burned to the ground… with the people still inside.”

Zoissette sat back in her chair and stared at the ceiling, and groaned.

“As for the others, I think they were already skittish. If a man who was declared such a holy example from his youth feared the inquisition…”

“…what hope could they have. Yeah.”

Gilda looked at her drink.

“I know the work the Inquisition does is necessary. There are those who would tear down Ishgard, and do the same to us, if not worse. But should we not be better than them? Should we not be so… brutal?”

“I know,” said Zoissette.

“More may flee in the coming weeks. Maybe not permanently - I got news from one of the other holdings, in fact, that our man had been spotted on the road -to- Ishgard. I think he was merely hoping to not be here while the Inquisition is. Hard to say. But with him and the others gone… our patrols are thinner now. It’s going to be hard to fill out schedules. Like I said… we’ve got a problem.”

“I know,” Zoissette repeated, feeling a sinking weight in her chest.

~~~

Zoissette greeted the Inquistor at the door with a salute.

“Greetings, with all due respect from House Vauban. It is our privilege to host you at our holdings. Please, come in.”

The inquisitor walked into the fort, looking around, taking stock of his surroundings. He wore a coat, lined thick with sumptuous fabrics. Gold chains littered the outside of it, and various rosaries and other symbols of his holy office. His presence was unmistakeable, and he seemed fit to try to fill the space with himself.

He smiled warmly at Zoissette.

“Ah, Madam Vauban, Ser Knight. Thank you for receiving me.”

“Of course. We have prepared a meal for you, of course, that you may have at your leisure. If you are tired after your journey, our house servant, Rayford Portier, has already prepared a room for you. He is at your disposal for the duration of your stay, as, of course, am I.”

The inquisitor nodded, a faint smile on his face. “Of course, of course. Thank you, Madam Vauban. I trust that you, of course, understand the importance of our work out here. I will need to see your books, of course, so that I can schedule interviews with the people. I do not think I will find anything, but often you can find hidden truths that point, if not at a person, at least elsewhere. Diligence is the price we pay, and we will pay it in full.”

“I know,” said Vauban.

“And it is the hope of the Holy See that the men will find the site of one of us visiting even such a distant outpost will be inspiring. We care for them, after all, one and all. They will surely look upon this as a momentous occasion, as their purity is seen for the truth of itself, and be bolstered by knowing their own holiness demonstrated. Our purpose is for the glory of Ishgard, you know.”

“I know,” said Vauban.

“Good, good. Of course you do. All is well for now, then. I think I shall retire for the evening. I have been traveling all day, and we can start our work early, and fresh, tomorrow morning. This is good work that we will do, Madam Vauban,” the inquisitor said, offering Vauban a smile.

Zoissette returned the smile, but her eyes were cold, and her smile was brittle.

“I know,” she said.

[antifainternational]

Why do you think it is necessary to impose on someone else’s right to free speech when you do not agree? Not very tolerant eh

1) Let us introduce you to philosopher Karl Popper and the Paradox of Tolerance, Anon:

2) Anti-fascists don’t advocate against free speech; we take the position of “no platform” which means that people/institutions aren’t obligated to provide fascists with platforms from which to broadcast their dangerous bullshit; they should not provide them with those platforms; and we’re going to do eveything we can to prevent fascists from accessing those platforms.  Because we think the people fascists target for violence & death have the right to live their lives peacefully, safely, and without fear.  A right which fascist ideology imposes on.  Not very tolerant eh 3) Still unconvinced, Anon?  Still a free speech absolutist that believes that we have to permit intolerant, genocidal assholes to preach and organize for persecution and genocide?  Still think everyone should have access to every platform from which they can say anything they like?  OK, send us your account login & PW so we can post whatever we like on your tumblr.  Because if you don’t, you’re denying our free speech by refusing to grant us access to a platform you control. Not every tolerant eh

[thelordofdarkreunion]

Magnificent Scoundrels- Let Us Begin

Here we go!  The first meeting!  If you have any confusion or want any clarification, feel free to ask.  If you have any requests, comments, concerns, questions, or criticisms, feel free to tell me those as well.  Enjoy the story!

“There’s no way that this is gonna end well.”

“Really?  You think?  Governments from nine different separate realities, crossing every political spectrum imaginable, from theocratic xenophobes to neo-socialist utopians to democratic federalists and everything in between meeting in the same space with a ton of guns?  What are you talking about?  There’s no way this could end poorly!”

“Are we ready to go?”  The cameraman gave a thumbs up.  The news anchor smoothed a back mop that was probably more gel than hair at this point.  “And here we are, outside the beautiful Citadel Tower, where the governments of the nine new galaxies are meeting for the first time!  We already covered their arrival on the station, and what an arrival it was!” he continued with intense fake-cheerfulness.  “Now, they are meeting to discuss policy and open diplomatic negotiations.  And while we aren’t allowed inside, I’m sure it would be a sight to behold!”

Well this is certainly a sight to behold, thought Commander John Shepard to himself.  Not necessarily a good one, but a sight to behold nevertheless.  The meeting had started out well enough.  The various governments had filed in accordingly, filling the enlarged space completely.  He had been shocked at the sheer amount of different factions and races; there were over a hundred by his last count.  Governments he worked for, governments he knew of, governments he didn’t, governments that he had been told to keep an eye out for: everyone was here.  Dear lord.  

They all had their own bodyguards, of course, so the Council had ordered the Spectres all back to the Citadel.  Most of them, Shepard included, were now standing watch over the meeting.  Guns were out, ready to fire if something should happen.  The bodyguards were all tense, accustomed to being watched by professionals.  Well, most of them.  The mercenary Pilots hired by the Frontier Militia and the IMC looked relaxed enough, as did Drake.  The Galactic Empire’s Death Troopers were completely unreadable.  And the Imperium’s Tempestus Scions?  They seemed to be lining up firing solutions, eager to kill a room full of heretics and xenos on the drop of a hat.  Bloody great.  

The meeting had started off as well as could be expected.  The Council had opened with a greeting, welcoming everyone to the Citadel in the name of peace and cooperation.  Most of the governments had responded in kind.  Shepard had to admire the Imperium, who had given a rather weak and sickly greeting, then settled back to give death glares at everyone else.  At least they were honest, for the most part.  (Or maybe not.  He still didn’t know what was on board their ship.)  

It had steadily gone downhill from there.  The United Federation of Planets had objected to most everyone else's governing practices, especially the exclusion of other species.  The Galactic Assembly had pointed out that they let everyone join, no strings attached, and the Federation had conceded the point.  The IMC and Militia had objected, stating that there simply weren’t any aliens in their galaxy, otherwise they would let them join.  The Imperium had taken offense to this, stating that if a galaxy was ruled by humanity, there should be no reason to give it away to filthy xenos.  

The Nova Empire diplomats and Asari Councillor snapped back that their governments were older than humanity itself, and much more advanced, so show some respect.  The “sit down and let your betters talk” was left implied.  The Imperium had pointed out that they were ten thousand years old and ruled the galaxy with a fist of iron, and had actually told their detractors to shut up and sit down.  Adam Vir had interrupted with an utterly magnificent speech preaching the benefits of tolerance and cooperation.  That bought some respite… at least until the New Republic pointed out that since the entire delegation of the Galactic Empire was made up of war criminals, shouldn’t there be some restrictions on them?  The Militia had quickly followed suit, saying that they would not deal with the entirely criminal Interstellar Manufacturing Corporation.  At that point, all semblance of order had broken down.  

Currently, it was a scene of complete chaos.  The Imperium of Man was alternating between very pointedly not speaking to any non-human diplomats and screaming at the non-human diplomats about the honourless nature of aliens.  The Militia and IMC were yelling at each other about territory disputes and war crimes, and threatening to air out each other’s dirty laundry while Cooper and the 6-4 bodyguards of the Militia talked in underhanded tones to Kuben Blisk, leader of the IMC’s bodyguard detachment.  Why that was happening, Shepard had absolutely no idea.  Cooper and Blisk seemed to have some sort of history, and the 6-4 seemed nice enough.  

Thomas Drake and the Merchant’s Guild were presently sitting back with shit-eating grins on their faces, probably wondering how much money they could make if they sold weapons to everyone there.  Getting involved was bad for business.  

The New Republic was relatively calm, any of their diplomats who seemed to be ready to start something being stared down by Leia Organa, their de-facto leader.  Luke Skywalker sat nearby, looking alternatively amused at the chaos and annoyed at everyone’s incompetence.  

Their opposite number, the Galactic Empire, was one of the calmest groups present.  Several of the obviously military members of that delegation were itching to join in the conversation, nodding along with the Imperium of Man’s points.  However, every time one of them seemed to be on the verge of speaking up, their leader, a neatly uniformed blue-skinned man (Grand Admiral Thrawn, if Shepard remembered correctly) glared down at them with such intensity that they meekly went back to their seats.  At least someone had control of what they were doing.  

The United Federation of Planets seemed to be split evenly into two groups.  One was arguing constantly with everyone, pointing out with shocked voices all the horrible things each group had done.  They wore the faces of people who believed that they were completely morally superior in every respect, and having groups whose idea of a good government was “if they’re different, they’re inferior” did not resonate well with them.  The second group was made up of Kirk and several of the more level headed individuals trying to keep the peace.  They had just convinced the first sub-faction not to bring up the subject of xenophilia; if they had, Shepard was almost certain that a war would have started.  So thank whatever gods are up there that Kirk can read a room.

The galactic Assembly was presently fractionated and trying to argue with just about every group present, including themselves, simultaneously.  Adam Vir sat with his head in his hands, hopeless expression on his face.  At least he tried, though Shepard, unlike literally every other person here.  

The UNSC delegation looked lost, clearly seeming to think that the human supremacists had a point but realizing that it would be politically unwise to say anything.  Master Chief stood behind them, gold visor as expressionless as ever.  In fact, if Shepard did not know for a fact there was a man inside that suit, he might have mistaken the Chief for a particular large and detailed green statue.  

And his own government?  The Citadel Council?  The Turian representative was vehemently arguing with Anderson over the issue of human military supremacy and treaty violations while the Asari and Salarian Councillors shouted at everyone present, including each other.  

Quill and his crew were seated in between the human diplomats from his galaxy and those of the Nova Empire, and kept trying to make probably snide and inappropriate comments every time someone said something, only to be slapped down by an annoyed Gammora.  Vir actually mouthed ‘help’ in Shepard’s direction, as if he could do anything about this.  

Utter madness.  Fun times.  

It was around the point where people began going towards the extremely hot topic of A.I. legality when Shepard noticed something out of the corner of his eye.  One of the Spectres, guiding a group of armed figures in black body armor and full face masks into the room.  He looked closer.  The Spectres weren’t supposed to leave their posts unless it was for a very good reason.  What the…  The black armored soldiers stepped into the middle of the room, and in one fluid motion, drew their weapons from their hips, each aiming at a different delegation box, ready to fire… and were promptly turned into red paste from at least twenty different points.

Every diplomat in the room stopped what they were doing, looks of utter shock plastered on their faces.  It was quiet for one single, eternal moment, then everyone began shouting at once.  The bodyguards still had their weapons raised, ready to open fire on command.  

“What is this?  You had us come to kill us?”

“Treachery!”

“You obviously paid them off!  No one except you would do this!”

“How did this happen?  How did they get in here?”

“Inside help!  Who did this?”  Aw, shit.  Guns were at the ready, various guardians and even some of the diplomats squaring off against each other.  

“Whoh, hey!”  A singular voice called above the din, startling everyone.  Thomas Drake, black coat billowing, hands raised placatingly, addressed the various stunned and still twitchy diplomats.  “Calm down, everyone.  If any of you decides to do something stupid, we all lose.”  At least that had bought a little time.  “Now, if any of you actually noticed before you started to jump to conclusions, there was at least one assassin aiming at everyone present.  They were planning on killing everyone here.  I know quite a few of you present, and I know for a fact that none of you had anything like this planned.”  A few more bodyguards lowered their weapons.  “The question is, who did this, and why?”  Some of the diplomats nodded along with him.  Shepard saw Vir and Quill moving towards his position for a better vantage point.  But before anyone could say anything, the console of the Council started rapidly beeping.  Tevos answered it with alacrity.

“Yes?”

“Councillor!  The Citadel is under attack!  We have unknown and armed hostiles in the open!  There’s some sort of fleet coming, too!”  

“Great,” muttered Shepard.  But before anyone could react to this new information, the message abruptly cut off, along with most of the power save the lighting.  

“Double great,” muttered Vir, as he slid into position next to him.

And here.  We.  Go.  

[creepingsharia]

While Europe Slept, 15 Years Later  - a new preface

Bruce Bawer has updated his book While Europe Slept - detailing the destruction of the West by Islam (practitioners of Islam actually, aka Muslims) - with a new and much needed preface. Excerpts below.

Note: My book While Europe Slept was first published by Doubleday in 2006. Now the Stapis publishing house has put out a Polish edition, translated by Tadeusz Skrzyszowski. Given that the book is fifteen years old, Stapis asked for a new preface. Here it is.

   This book, which appeared first in English, has already been translated into several other languages, but it is a special pleasure to see it published in Polish. My father’s parents were both Polish...

   When I wrote this book, I used such terms as “radical Islam” and “Muslim extremist.” Indeed, the book’s original English subtitle was How Radical Islam Is Destroying the West from Within. I have asked my Polish publishers to remove the word “radical” from the subtitle of this edition. I no longer use such terms in connection with Islam, for I have recognized that Islam itself is radical and extreme; people who call themselves “moderate” or “liberal” Muslims are people who have exchanged key elements of their faith for Western Enlightenment values.

   In the same way, I no longer speak of “Islamic fundamentalism.” This expression came naturally to me because prior to writing While Europe Slept I had published the book Stealing Jesus, about Protestant fundamentalism in the U.S. Fundamentalism is a legitimate word to use in connection with certain varieties of Christianity that uphold an untenable Biblical literalism and preach a harsh legalism derived largely from the Old Testament book of Leviticus while losing sight of the forgiving, all-encompassing love that Jesus Christ preached in the gospels.

   But Islam is fundamentalist – it insists that every word of the Koran be taken literally, that every commandment in that book be followed, that Muslim men look upon Muhammed (a bloodthirsty warrior who married a little girl) as the perfect role model in every possible respect, and that women accept their role as household chattel whose lives may someday need to be sacrificed in so-called “honor killings” in order to preserve their families’ reputations. I have long since ceased, then, to speak of “Islamic fundamentalism.”

   In this book I blame the failure of Muslims to assimilate into European society in part, at least, on the fact that Europeans, while welcoming – and housing and feeding and clothing – Muslim immigrants prefer that they live apart, in their own enclaves, rather than blend into mainstream society, and prefer to give them welfare handout rather than jobs. I now feel that I put too much blame for this situation on Europeans; after all, Hindus and Sikhs and other such minorities have faced similar obstacles in Europe but have overcome them. (In Britain, the average Hindu earns more than the average British native.)

   I also suggest in the book that America, historically a “melting pot” of people from all over the world, will be more successful than Europe at turning Muslims into happy, productive, and patriotic citizens. I now realize that I was mistaken. If Muslims in America do indeed seem somewhat more likely to be well integrated, law-abiding job-holders than are their coreligionists in Europe, this has a lot to do with the fact that many Muslim immigrants to America are educated professionals from largely Westernized cities, while many Muslims who emigrate to Europe are illiterate rural villagers. Yet even the most privileged Muslim families in the U.S. manage to breed terrorists. What I failed to realize when I wrote this book was that while the American “melting pot” may indeed work wonders on people from a great many parts of the globe, Islam, when truly believed in, is a force that powerfully repels other loyalties.

   In this book I describe the 2005 election of “pro-American, reform-minded Angela Merkel” to the office of German chancellor as a “hopeful sign,” and applaud her for insisting that a 2006 Berlin staging of Mozart’s opera Idomeneo go forward in the face of Muslim outrage. This is also the woman who in 2010 famously – and admirably – admitted that German multiculturalism had “utterly failed.” Who would have expected, then, that she would later open her country’s floodgates to a tsunami of Muslim immigrants – hundreds of whom sexually assaulted German women on New Year’s Eve 2015/16 – and would turn violently against the U.S., describing it as the moral equivalent of Putin’s Russia and Communist China? This woman whom I thought so well of in 2006 has turned out to be the scariest German chancellor since – hmm, what was his name again?

   The U.S. invasion of Iraq posed a particular problem to me while I was writing this book. On the one hand, I knew enough about Islam to doubt strongly that Iraqis, once freed from the dictatorship of Saddam Hussein, would institute something in their country resembling Jeffersonian democracy. On the other hand, I had never set foot in the Muslim world, so I hardly felt I was in a position to question “experts” many of whom had spent decades there. Besides, my country was at war, and I didn’t want to join in the pile-on against my president, however ill-advised I thought he was. So it is that while acknowledging that “there were sensible arguments against invading Iraq” and making clear my conviction that Islam, as currently constituted, is not “compatible with democracy,” I didn’t explicitly support or oppose the Iraq War in these pages, and instead focused on what to me, in any case, was the most relevant issue related to it: the truly vile tendency of many commentators in both the U.S. and Europe to equate Bush with Saddam and to attribute unworthy motives to decent Americans who, however misguided, truly thought they were engaged, as in World War II, in a struggle for other people’s freedom.

   This book first came out in 2006; the paperback was published a year later with an afterword that is included here and that brought my account up to date. In the thirteen years since, needless to say, there have been a great many developments in the ongoing story of Islam in Europe. The continent’s Muslim population has continued to mount, creating more “no-go zones” and increasing the incidence of rape and other violent crimes by Muslim youth gangs. There have been major acts of jihadist terror in Paris, Brussels, Berlin, Barcelona, and many other places.

   Meanwhile, in the U.S., major terrorist acts have occurred in Boston, Orlando, San Bernardino, and elsewhere. In 2018, Ilhan Omar, a hijab-clad Muslim woman who is virulently antisemitic and openly contemptuous of America, was elected to the U.S. House of Representatives from a largely Muslim district in Minnesota. Another hijab-wearing Jew-hater, Linda Sarsour, enjoys the respect of many leading U.S. politicians, who take seriously her claim to be a feminist.

   In Europe, Canada, and elsewhere, though (thanks to the First Amendment) not yet in the United States, critics of Islam have been prosecuted. Throughout the West, such critics have been censored or have engaged in self-censorship, resulting in an alarming decline in freedom of speech. (This was the subject of my 2009 book Surrender.) As I write these words, Turkey, a member of NATO whose reputation as an exemplarily civilized and tolerant Muslim country has been destroyed by its current leader, Recep Tayyip Erdogan, was encouraging tens of thousands of military-age men from around the Muslim world to force their way across the Greek border and flood into Europe.

   When I wrote this book, I lived in Oslo; I now live in a small town in the mountains of Norway, a two-hour drive from the capital. If you had told me in 2006 that the Muslim population of Oslo would increase dramatically by the year 2020 (as it has), I’d have believed you; if you had told me that by 2020 women in hijab and even niqab – which covers everything but the eyes – would be a familiar sight in the small town where I now live (which it is), I’d have been surprised.

   The subject of this book, then, is more urgent than ever. Yet there is nothing new under the sun; despite everything that has happened on the Islam front in the years since this book was published, all of these developments come under the heading of “more of the same.” Hence, I believe, this book continues to be, as it was in 2006, a useful introduction and overview of its subject – a subject about which every responsible citizen of a free country, and every loving parent of a free child, should be seriously knowledgeable.  

[my-cursed-sideblog]

So I re-entered the harry potter fandom after a few year.....oh boy

So for some ungodly reason, I decided to revisit the harry potter fandom, and oh boy did I get a surprise.

First of all, I left the fandom at least four months after the fiasco with J.K Rowlling started.

But after searching and reading about what happened I can only say;

GOD FREAKING DAMMIT ROWLING, COULDN'T YOU KEEP YOUR TRANSPHOBIC STUFF TO YOURSELF??!!

Not only is she hurting one of the most vulnerable communities inside the LGBTQ+, but now I don't know if I should even post the fanfiction I've been writing for more than a year.

Something that I also seemed to find in many comment sections of mostly youtube videos that talked about this, where there are people preaching about free speech and how Rowling should be allowed to think and say what she wants, and I'm just here thinking, are they this dumb or just ignorant?

Free speech and hate speech are something incredibly different and for these people to be using one of the biggest excuses homophobic, transphobic, etc, people use to disguise their hate speech is so annoying.

If J.K Rowling had kept this thing to herself nothing like this would be happening, she wouldn't be getting backlashed and crimes against the trans community wouldn't be going on the rise and I could publish my fanfic without worrying.

Something this comment also talked a lot about was how "Lefties"(whatever that is) preach about tolerance but don't tolerate others' opinions.

So by this, I'm guessing they would also respect Hitler's point of view?

Probably not, it doesn't help their transphobic discourse so nay.

But many of these kinds of people seem to not be able to understand that yes we must be tolerant of other people and their points of view as long as this point of view isn't damaging someone's else's, just like with human rights, your human rights end when they endanger someone else's, the problem is that she is actively harming the trans community.

I actually saw a post with a small comic talking about this very well, if I can find it I will link it here since it goes very well.

So I just needed to get this out of my system, if anyone has read this far then I wish you a wonderful day.

If someones wishes to speak about this in notes, then I'm open to discussion and if anyone can tell me if me publishing my fanfic is alright then please because I really would want to publish it since I spent a lot of work on it but I do not wish to promote Rowling or support her.

[whispersafterdusk]

Prompt #11: Preaching to the choir

"And furthermore-"

This lalafell woman really could talk.  And talk. And talk.  And she'd made Roaring Whisper's favorite reading perch less than ideal over the last several days with her nonstop speeches from atop several crates just down the street from him.

In general it wouldn't have been so bad if not for her speeches stirring up anti-refugee resentment again.  Ala Mhigo had been liberated but its people were still reeling from the battles and struggling to find their footing to rebuild; there was a depressingly large number of Ul'dah's residents who seemed to think that now Ala Mhigo was "free" that meant all the refugees should immediately pack up and head home, and they'd begun clamoring for just that mere hours after the news had spread.

For all its faults and cruelties, Ul'dah was still technically home for the roegadyn; amusingly, few in Ul'dah ever seemed to remember what he, their cherished Warrior of Light, looked like so those times where Roaring returned to rest up before the next crisis he found he could move through the city without much hassle but also often found himself on the receiving end of ridicule.

Or, in this case, a victim of someone else's ignorance as this woman, day after day, came to this one spot to speak to whoever would listen, railing about how the refugees had no more reasons left to "sully" the steps of Ul'dah and should immediately leave the city or be MADE to leave.

Preaching about something she knew nothing of, within earshot of one of those most responsible for Ala Mhigo's liberation.  It would be humorous if not for the subject matter at hand, or how her loyal crowd all but foamed at the mouth over the indignity of having to suffer the presence of refugees for another moment more.

Over the last few days her crowd had steadily grown; from ten to twelve to twenty to forty, all faces he recognized as those who had always been the loudest about getting rid of the refugees but thankfully without any power to force the issue.  The problem was, the larger a crowd the more attention it gathered, and the more likely their shared sentiments would begin to spread in earnest among first those who were apathetic toward the Ala Mhigans, then from there who knew who else could be swayed.

Like had certainly attracted like, and enough was enough.

Roaring snapped his book shut and stood, sliding it into his bag and walking up to the rear of the crowd.  A shoulder tap here, a quiet clearing of the throat there, and people were beginning to part as he carefully navigated his way through the group; a few there even seemed to recognize him and stood aside with no prompting, eyes wide and mouths gaping -- a hero in the flesh, mere feet from them.  Surely far more exciting than the same speech they'd heard five days in a row?

To the lalafell woman's credit she kept speaking even as she watched him wade through the crowd toward her, and she didn't pause in her speech until he was through her 'followers' and ambling toward her.

"What do you think you're doing?"

She squared up to him, hands on her hips, atop her crate perch that actually put her eye to eye with him in terms of height; it made it incredibly simple to reach out and seize her by the silken belt of her tunic and lift her off the crate.  She yelped and thrashed at him, demanding to be put down before she called the guards.

Roaring deposited her on the ground, slightly behind him and off to the right, and then lifted the top crate -- it was empty, as he'd suspected.  There were no merchant stalls or warehouses on this street so it made little sense to expect these crates would have been left here for days with things in them.

He gave the bottom one a savage kick that sent the entire stack toppling, with several shattering into splinters against the wall and others cracking apart as they fell to the ground.

The woman had stopped her indignant sputtering and was staring at her ruined "podium" as the crowd behind her milled and spoke in hushed voices.  Roaring deposited the only intact crate - the one he'd picked up - at the lalafell's feet with a grunt, and eyed her.

Roaring Whisper's name was perfectly suited for him -- his parents had learned early in his life that their son was either silent or absurdly loud.  And even into his adulthood he still possessed that dynamic: what was "normal" speaking volume for him would be considered almost yelling to others, and so the roegadyn was in the habit of either not speaking at all or struggling to "whisper" for as long as his throat could tolerate it.

He wasn't interested in whispering now.

"Leave."

There was no malice in it.  No anger.  Just a firm command that boomed out into what had turned into a mostly silent gathering.

At the word the woman flinched and actually ducked behind the crate while the people behind her all jumped and began to scurry off in small groups.  Some looked embarrassed as they scuttled away; the lalafell in front of him dashed off and disappeared among those who had remained to watch him uncertainly.  Once the woman was clear Roaring stomped a boot onto and through the top of the crate, breaking the lid and one of the sides, then casually used his toe to lob the crate onto the remnants of the rest of them; the people gave him a wide berth now as he walked calmly back to where he'd been reading, retrieved his book from his bag, and picked up exactly where he'd left off.

[w9016]

I'm just wondering why people can't see the evil in Donald Trump. This whole thing seems to be about hating Democrats in general. Since he's been in office hate and fear mongering has risen. The hate has been spewed by so called Christians when the Bible teaches tolerance and being kind to one another. Seems hypocritical to me. If you're a Christian you don't post hate and intolerance.

I beg to differ. I don’t hate anyone but that doesn’t change the fact that Democrats are the party of hate and killing. I am Pro Life because the Bible says thou shalt not kill. That includes the unborn. It you vote democrat you are voting for pro choice which is an oxymoron because a baby has no choice. What evil has Trump done? One example?  Trump has done nothing but create jobs, real private sector jobs. Especially for the black and inter city people. He has lowered our taxes. He promotes love and life. Give me one example where he has ever had a platform of hate? There isn’t one. Trump is also for Americans and the Constitution. We have Unalienable Rights. The right to free speech. The right to keep and bare arms. This is to protect us from the government, not to go hunting. The only thing that will prevent a bad person from doing bad is a good person willing to stop them. I am 57 years old. I am a US Marine. I have been in a combat situation more than once. I volunteered to lay my life on the line for you and the USA and the Constitution. I am a father of 5 and will protect my family with the same vigor. The current definition and platforms of modern democrats are threatening my rights. I don’t know how old you are or if you are male or female but you need to read the memoirs of John F Kennedy. When he won the presidency he was considered a liberal. A far left wing nut. Read his stuff. He would be about 25% more right wing than Trump is now. That was just 60 years ago. Modern democrats are preaching a socialist government and that is not what I believe in. So I make my point, that if the narrative doesn’t fit what you believe in, your ears hear evil. Now back to the Bible. What did Jesus do in the temple when it was basically being used as a market? He got pissed! He threw tables and money and kicked everybody out!!! Jesus did that! He made it right. I see America becoming the temple that is being abused. I too am going to throw tables and chairs. I am going to make it right. What would Jesus do?

[lgbtqia-representation]

Get Hit

Today is a day when my ankle hurts. It doesn’t matter that it happened years ago. You still tell me it would have been better to have gotten hit. People often wonder when this all started. Perhaps when I was at the doctor’s office getting prescribed medicine for microtears in my lungs or perhaps when I signed the lease for that apartment.

In reality, it began when I met her and kept sneaking out to see her. Desire swelled to the point that it could no longer be hidden. But being queer in this town could never happen. It could never be tolerated. It needed to be ended. That’s what everyone told us, even you.

The day that ambitious girl of mine graduated from high school she confessed our sins to her parents. Then we ran back into the night. Her dark skin had shimmered under the streetlights like the stars twinkling above. Her smile filled her face that night in ways I had never seen. She laughed at the moon in her mania, not caring about the hate being hurled at us.

When we finally got back to the house, you stood on your stoop. Our dumbfounded gazes were met with contempt. Before we could utter a word, you seized our attention. “You’re not welcome here.”

I froze, my steps faltered as I stared blankly. I tried to argue with you but failed. We retreated back to my car and out into the now desolate city. On a lonely curb we made our bed for the night. We curled up in the trunk in a town where you knew vagrancy was illegal. We had only each other for warmth as we cowered from the passing lights dancing across the tattered carpet ceiling. But we never had felt more free. Each night was a new curb and each day new sights.

Our phones cycled between calls of hate, remorse, begging for us to forget about each other and come home, from her mom and you. Mine even went to being completely shut off per your decision, you called the phone company to make it so. Between work shifts, we relaxed in parks. Each day was a new journey to some far off place. For food we ate out wherever sounded good or munched on fresh produce. To escape the scorching heat, we hid in the city’s library. On the way out of stores, we would sneak into the restroom to freshen ourselves up. We would use paper towels to wash our bodies off. We would splash water through our hair, loosening the layer of grunge, then retreat to the trunk. The next morning it would start again.

At work, my sales were high, but my coworkers soon realized I lived out of my car. I was given an ultimatum, give my notice or get an apartment. We chose the latter, though it wiped every penny we had saved. We could barely scrape by- we switched to food pantries, could no longer afford to drive our car, deactivated our cell phones, and had to work two jobs each. But we had a shower, a sink, a “real roof,” even a cheap inflatable mattress from the supermarket. That was what society cared about, what work cared about. What you took away from me, just for being me.

That morning, I made my way to the bus stop for my second eight hour shift that day. I was running pretty low. Jobs don’t communicate with each other about scheduling. I sat there practically asleep against a cold pole when I was jarred awake by the screeching of the bus. My mind processed the all too rapidly approaching metal mass and I dove without thought. The instant I hit the ground I knew it had been a bad decision. My ankle screamed as the bus thudded back down off the curb. The driver waited a moment, then decided I wasn’t in for the ride and drove away. I wailed from the pain, like you never allowed me to. I lay there broken, with only one option. So I picked up my phone.

My voice I didn’t even recognize. I muffled sobs. “Hi mom, there’s been an accident.” I waited for you to speak. When you didn’t respond I simply continued. “I hurt my ankle trying to avoid a bus. I need to go to the doctor, but I don’t have any money.”

You managed some words, “I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

“Mom, I can’t even put weight on it. Please, I need your help.”

“You made your choice.”

“Mom, please-“

“You’re not my daughter anymore. I hope I’ve made it clear this time.” The conversation ended with a beeping as I stared down at my shattered screen.

I sat on the ground in unbearable pain. She left to get me the moment I called but it still took her hours from the city. She carried me back upstairs to the apartment and set me on the long since popped air mattress. She made a makeshift ice pack out of an old grocery bag. You knew all this as well. But it didn’t change your decision.

Even when you saw me a year later, my ankle wholly deformed, limping, you stood by your decision. You still do. And you say you always will. Which I will never doubt again.

So now when I stand back in this cursed house, in this dreaded town, I can see it all. These streets will forever be straight, just like you expect those who walk it to be. These halls won’t change direction, just like you never will. Thus as I sit at the foot of your table, I know that’s where you perfectly intended me to be. When you still say I’m the black sheep of the family, there is no wavering in your voice. The hate you hurl to my face and behind my back are synonymously made to cut me deep. When you spearheaded not coming to the wedding, I knew you would never regret that.

Just like I know that’s exactly what I need to do now. You leaving me on the road that day, leaving me to limp broken the rest of my life, was the moment I understood. There was nowhere left for us to go, nothing left for us to attempt to reconcile. This will thus be the last time I breathe the suffocating air, tred the creaking wood floors that seem to echo to all my sins, or bear witness to your oppressive speeches of hate. So that’s why I leave this for you now. So you can understand why this was the last you heard of me. For the God you believe in might preach forgiveness seven times seven times seven continuously, is the same God that rejects me all for the person I love. So keep your religion, this unchanging town, these broken halls. I, with my beautiful wife, am now and forever more, gone.

Sincerely,

-The Black Sheep