#People need respect to live. That doesn't change with disability.

[inspired-lesson-plans]

Revisited &Revised

Any/Health Class, All Grades Before showing students the video in the original post, talk them through these facts from the National Down Syndrome Society. You may follow that link for more, but this is a good place to start.

Down Syndrome is a birth defect that anyone can be born with and affects approximately 1/775 humans.

People born with Down Syndrome usually have different looking faces and bodies than most typical people.

They also have cognitive delays, meaning they do not learn as quickly as most typical people.

They used to have a short life expectancy (average 25 years), but it's improved to a 60 year average.

Because of these developmental differences, there are many stereotypes about what people with Down Syndrome are like. For generations, pretty much everyone treated people with Down Syndrome, no matter what their age, like they were stupid children who couldn't do anything without constant help.

Do Now:

Before watching the video, quietly reflect on the following question:

Imagine being a person with Down Syndrome. What do you think it's like to...

Go to school, where you can't be in the same classes as everyone else and don't get to learn the same things?

Be an adult, when people see you as an eternal child?

Have a hobby or a job, when people think you can't do anything without lots of help?

After watching the video, turn and talk. Discuss the following questions:

Do you think this actress has Down Syndrome? Why?

Did she do a good job?

What was your favorite part of the video?

How would you feel if people always treated you like they treated her in the first half of the video?

What can you do to make the world a better place for the ~0.07% of the population who were born this way?

in recognition of World Down Syndrome Day on March 21

[gatotricolor]

ladynoir but it's an alternative universe

chat noir design based on themossycauldron's interpretation.

no full latex outfit they need to be in more comfortable clothes.

ladybug is called scaralady here.

the wings on the back can help her plane when she jumps.

chat's has like smudge black makeup above the eyes like pattinson's batman because he's cool like that.

chat noir vision and hearing is better, he can also see in the dark.

the miracle's help adrien's disabilities to not affect him as how it would affect him normally, but still it's more complicated for him than the others, they support him.

because of their powers and motives related to each god, chat's bad luck makes him have to be more mindful of his action, while scaralady have to follow her instincts, if they try to fight that, it worse.

related to that, at the beggining they didn't really got along because their powers clashed A LOT, this petty rivalry was how they usually interacted on their daily basis until the akumas started to show.

ADDING TO THAT, they started as heroes before the akumas showed up, the deities told the miracle's guardian that they could sense that both moth and peacock miracles were being manipulated by someone who wasn't it chosen holder, so the master with the request of both plagg and tikki, had to give to each of them their respective miracles and start to train them properly before the akumas and amoks started to show up. they usually would help catching shitty people on the streets, assisting civilians with accidents and emergencies, and just acting as vigilantes (bc before akumas, the authorities really didn't like them).

scaralady was very suspicious of chat, because she had her own prejudices in that such power as destruction in any hands would be dangerous, but the guardian and just interacting with him daily, made her change her opinion and understand that they both needed each other to balance their powers.

chat actually never had genuine bad thoughts about scaralady, just that she was sometimes too serious and a party pooper in his own teen eyes.

after monarch started to terrorize the city, they made their dumb rivalry aside and started to seriously work together as partners, but they still teases eachother a little bit.

they're also eachother probably one of the closest bonds they ever had, interpret that at your own will lol.

both of them have to develop their powers with time, like for example: scaralady's creation power starts as random objects (like in canon) but further the stories progresses, she can create anything (usually she just follows her instincts and heart). in chat's case, at the start he can destroy small to mid objects, developing to having the ability to destroy living things (which, he doesn't really like the idea to have to do it, but if it happens he knows he would have to step up) for example if a meteor goes straight to earth extinction style, if his level is developed enough, he can destroy with a tip of his fingers.

when the team start to grow (not as big as in canon pls just the big 5 plus ryuko, viperion and someone else 😳) both of them take a leadership role, not just scaralady.

they're being trained not just related to their powers, but also to have enough mental strength to not fall under monarch's control.

each holder has to be trained like that, but both of them was a priority for the guardian as they're the most powerful and dangerous ones if it's in wrong hands.

[ratindividual]

As someone with a mild disability to the knee and can't walk very long without feeling pain all through the leg and hip, people saying Viktor's own is a flaw and need to be cured asap because it's painful kinda misses the point of it all.

When Jayce said this:

He's not saying Viktor shouldn't have tried to find a cure to the pain or any ailment, he is saying Viktor was not flawed because he is disabled, which is what Viktor think.

"[...] what you thought were weaknesses." this is important to note, Jayce here doesn't share the same sentiment, he does not think it as a weakness, but part of a whole package that comes with someone (in that case, Viktor) Jayce took him like he was, and adored him.

A weakness is something you need to destroy before it gets to you, and sometimes, you will do unspeakable things to achieve it.

Viktor was never broken, imperfections make who he is, and by definition, makes every human.

Perfection does not exist, it is our emotions, our contradictions, our differences that make it incredible, human being are messy by design, we are a collectivity of incredibly diverse people and deserve respect!

It is not a flaw, it's a condition he lives with, which makes him singular, and that same disability constructed who he is, too: his drive, his mind, his resilience, his care and utter empathy for others, which are traits that Jayce admire most of it all!!! He says it himself:

It is his heart, his humanity, everything that Viktor think as a nuisance, that Jayce wants to preserve. He loves him for it, instead of despite it, and he finds him beautiful, both physically and mentally, it was never a question for him!

His unwavering compassion to push further, his ambitions, because he loves him. Jayce is an emotional, empathetic man, he values connection above all, and he understands.

He's saying Viktor has always been perfect to him because of it all. We humans are flawed, this is the inevitability of being conscious and alive.

Which is why this, this is very important:

Jayce knows Viktor, at this point, had lost his way. Empathy cannot work under the false prism of selflessness if it makes you believe that choice is an illusion, thus making it for others.

Jayce believes in choices, and knows that the people Viktor saves are, by proxy, unable to have any agency over their own fate, which is exactly the most important theme going on with Viktor throughout all two seasons. Viktor wants to take back control over his own self, while simultaneously pushing this on others who need help too.

I am convinced Jayce would have been more than fine with Viktor tweaking himself because he wants it, he was on board in season 1, he actually made the change himself in a misguided attempt to save the man he loves at the start of season 2. (which is very interesting, considering his feelings made him do something he himself sanctions such as resurrecting his soulmate, I love his contradictions so much)

He understands the desperation, the want to have a better life. But he doesn't want it to strip other's people individuality and Viktor's own sense of self, ripping his heart out for the sake of flawlessness.

He knows, too, the price of the perfect world Viktor wants to create. An endless loop of loneliness, mourning a man that is but a shell of himself, conscious through the hive but not him. His essence gone. A cross too heavy to bear.

And yet, Jayce never stopped loved him, never stopped fighting for him to understand how much he values him and respects him, worshiping the literal ground under his feet!!

Even in his godly form, he is head over heels for him!!! Look at how Viktor looks!! While talking face to face with this Eldritch incarnation, he remembers how Viktor used to look down memory lane, and it was still as majestic and grandiose, even!

It's why he confesses in the first place. He is in love with him through it all. His body changed, but it is still Viktor. He loves him wholly, every part of him! No matter where it takes them, no matter what he looks like.

Jayce loves Viktor with everything he has and no matter what comes their way. An unwavering, tangible loyalty.

[olderthannetfic]

I still think the people responding to the abortion thing with "well you wouldn't want them to raise that kid" are missing the point a bit, though. Even if someone has ample resources to take care of a kid, and they're fully prepared to be the best parent ever, they still have an inherent right to abort a pregnancy they don't want. Like focusing on "an ableist parent wouldn't be the best to raise that kid!" or "what if they don't have the resources for the health care they need!' opens up the "adoption" argument - and I'm sure many people would counter it with all the problems of the adoption system particularly for disabled kids. But even if adoption were a surefire way to ensure every child finds the perfect loving home, it is still wrong to force the pregnant person to use their body for 9 months to carry a pregnancy when they would rather not. The problems with relying overmuch on this argument is it has a kind of ugly implication that if a woman has no economic or emotional reason to struggle to raise a kid, it's mean and selfish for her not to be a mother. We saw some of that with the overturning of Roe in the U.S. - a lot of rhetoric of how this was bad just because of how it would affect poor or minority women. And I just wanted to be like, okay, but a wealthy white woman with ample resources who just doesn't want to have a kid, shouldn't have to have a kid. And it's still a massive violation of her human rights to force her to carry an unwanted pregnancy for 9 months. Like I thought one of the anons made this clear, but people keep saying this so maybe they're not getting it: but think of the burden that pregnancy puts on a body? Think about all the little things you have to do differently if you're pregnant. You can't drink, you can't take certain medications, including some that a lot of people's mental and physical health relies on the rest of the time. It literally moves around your organs to accommodate the growing fetus. It's just painful and nauseating a lot of time. That's not even going into how it's often enough of a medical emergency that it regularly killed pregnant people before we had access to modern medicine and hospitals, and still does in other parts of the world, or with people who refuse that treatment. Isn't that enough to convince you that it's horrifying to inflict that on someone unwillingly? I understand focusing on financial burdens and so on because it helps convince people who maybe aren't all there with respecting bodily autonomy. But also, I'm a cis woman who has no desire to be pregnant and have kids, and sure the fact that I haven't got a lot of money right now helps, but I know that if I was a billionaire and had tons of people at the ready to help raise my kids for me, I still wouldn't want to be a mother. And it's bizarre how radical that is to say even in ostensibly feminist, progressive spaces. A lot of people are just still so deeply uncomfortable with women (or anyone they see as a woman) deciding to choose life paths that don't include motherhood, in a way they simply are not with men eschewing fatherhood. And we can't really talk about gender equality until that starts to change. There's no reason that being born as a particular gender should limit the kind of life that people let you live or even imagine. There's nothing about being a woman that makes you more nurturing or parental, and so no reason that you shouldn't be able to decide that's not for you.

--

[cripplecharacters]

Hello. I am writing about a main character who has Down syndrome (12 years old). How does a child like her would react to mother death and moving to an old house? I want to be respectful while writing her.

Hi asker,

So there are a couple different things to think about.

For one, death of a loved one is hard for everyone, and the death of a parent is very difficult for pretty much all children. Change is hard, and this is a very permanent change that can be very traumatic because a person a kid expects to be with for way more time is now gone. The closer the child was to her mother, the harder this is going to be for her.

On change being hard, ID can make it harder for her to adapt to change. "Harder" does not mean "impossible." "Harder" means maybe they have to make a plan to help her transition to her new living space, maybe it needs to be explained to her more often, things like that. Maybe she needs support from lots of visuals, maybe she's asking questions a lot of the time, maybe she has trouble with doing things because of the stress. And this is from just the change of moving – all of this will likely be compounded with the stress of not having her mother. For this, people can try to help her by trying to provide as much of a sense of normalcy and trying to make sure she can have some sort of... it doesn't have to be a routine per se, just trying to make sure that some things don't change.

Abstract concepts are sometimes hard for kids, although less so by age 12 than for younger children. Abstract concepts can also be more difficult for people with intellectual disability (as is likely the case for your character with Down Syndrome). So, how is the death explained to her?

Best practice to explain death to children, including and especially kids with I/DD, is to use concrete and simple language. Euphemisms don't help much, especially for children, because euphemisms have context behind them that a child doesn't have. Euphemisms can also be misunderstood and unclear.

So, if she actually understands what's going on because people are explaining things to her in a way she can understand, ultimately this is going to be much better for her than if she doesn't understand that her mother isn't coming back because people keep being vague and saying things like "she's in a better place" and she keeps hoping to join her mom in this "better" place. Or it might take some time for her to understand the situation, and she might experience delayed grief.

Who is she moving with? Who is going to take care of her — she's a kid, she can't do it all by herself. Does she know them already? Is she just meeting them? If she's never met them before, this will probably be even more stressful to her — basically every single thing in her life is changing. That's huge. That's stressful and can be hard for her to understand why everything is different.

Overall, at the end of the day she's just a person, a child specifically, being put in an incredibly difficult situation. She has emotions like anyone else — there is a misconception that people with Down Syndrome are always happy, and that's just not true. They have

She's in a situation where adults with zero disabilities would probably have a super rough time as well. Add on to that being a kid, and add on to that being intellectually disabled, and it's probably going to be a really stressful situation. So, think about how your character reacts when she's stressed out, and factor in her disability.

Here's some links to grief and I/DD and grief and children. I have read through them, though not all of them at length. They do have information that you can use, whether on how she'd react or how others around her could react, but either way use your own judgement.

Helping People With Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities Process Grief by the Boggs Center on Developmental Disabilities (PDF file)

Responding to Grief Reactions of People with Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities by the Boggs Center on Developmental Disabilities (PDF File)

Bereavement In The Lives Of People With Intellectual Disabilities by the University of Hertfordshire's website on Intellectual Disability and Health

Managing Grief Better: People with Intellectual Disabilities by the University of Hertfordshire's website on Intellectual Disability and Health

Helping People With Intellectual Disabilities Cope With Loss by the Vanderbilt Kennedy Center (PDF File)

Hope this helps,

mod sparrow

[painted-bees]

Has Margie ever told Raf about her experiences being homeless? What about the stories other people have told her? Has he been made aware of the difficulties involved in getting a job? (And Margie’s less than stellar effort toward this)

oouh, Margie doesn't talk much about her own experiences being homeless because she feels a lot of shame about it--and would just rather avoid the topic altogether unless she's cornered into sharing it. She's internalized that her apparent inability to stay motivated in the job market prevents her from "good person" status no matter what...and since she doesn't know how to fix that [her previous efforts have seen great results in the immediate short term, but always drop off tremendously after a week or so] she just...doesn't like to mention it. But she does talk a lot about the people she's met and the perspectives they left her with. She can't help but vouch for the people she's spent the first few years of adulthood travelling and growing with. They were good people navigating difficult and complicated realities--and they commanded her respect.

Raf is a really suspicious and pessimistic person by nature of his...entire disordered personality...and so there have probably been a robust collection of moments where he's uttered a poor faith observation or passed unfair judgement onto a stranger in passing that triggered Margie's kneejerk reaction to counter his pessimism or suspicions with anecodotes from her encounters.

Ex: a guy comes up and accosts them for some spare change to buy a bus ticket, and margie give him a fiver. Raf waits until the guy's out of earshot before telling her, "Guy is gonna spend that a drugs. You should have just given a ticket from your booklet, " to which Margie's response is, "He can do what he wants with it. Regardless of how he spends it, he needs it more than me, and sometimes the only thing between a man and death is a fix. I'm not a cop, I'm not gonna police how he spends his money." And this kind of interaction usually results in a small, low-stakes argument/disagreement between the two of them that almost always can be boiled down to Raf opining "the begging poors need to be taught a lesson, not enabled" and Margie countering "that's insane thing to say about people you don't know. Those are my friends, and you have no idea what the nuances of their lives are like, so let me tell you a relevant little anecodote to give you a small idea of the complexities at play here."

The first time she hears the phrase "do good recklessly, " she adopts it like a mantra and repeats it to Raf in situations like this. I think also her quiet disappointment at the fact that he can part with bills bigger than a fiver without even noticing its absence--and simply choses not to because a guy -might- spend it on something that'll bring him a spot of relief at the end of a difficult day...really weighs on Raf over time. She erodes him on this like water on a stone. Nowadays, if he has change in his pocket, he'll hand it over because it hurts absolutely no one to do so.

I'm gonna jump to Margie's defence, tho--despite her opinions of herself. She has gotten jobs in an effort to pay for her room on board. She's never not looking for ways to monetize her actual skills [sound and music], and has always dedicated her waking hours to this goal. In the interim, she's done best in short-term gigs, and the money she makes has always gone immediately to whoever is housing her or paying back past friends regardless of how their friendship had degraded prior. But it's inconsistent and unreliable. The "real" employment she's managed to bag... she's tried to give her full attention. But...she's a person with permanent disabilities and, unfortunately, she doesn't know yet that this is the case.

Nels has 3 daughters just like her... and he himself has ADHD. Margie genuinely thrives in her job at Hi-Note because Nels knows how to manage and motivate her effectively. And he understand why she fails to perform tasks when such a situation arises. He's willing to meet her where she's at and help her reach her full potential as an employee. Which is a very, very unique situation to find herself in. She is extremely proud of her work under his management is constantly putting in extra effort and time into the projects she's thrown at, and it's helped her realize that laziness is maybe...not her problem after all.

The previous post is worded in a way that reflects her opinion of herself during that time, and I think that mighta been unclear/misleading--so I just wanted to clear that up, haha♡!

[smiley-positivity-potato]

when i came out to my father and his wife, it was out of rage, for all transgender and transsexual ppl everywhere- for they were mocking them openly in front of me after they were mentioned on the news. to my father and his wife, we were a joke, a mistake needing to be ridiculed openly for harming no one- they were offended by us being happy. as I sat on their bed, I boiled with rage at the sound of their hackles and open hatred. so in an act of courage and rage, i turned around and said: "You know who else is trans- ME!".

I watched as their realities crumbled. They started hounding me on why. Why did this make me happy? Why did i choose this? Then my father said calmly, with nonchalant: "Well, it just means you'll go to Hell when you die." he wouldn't even look at me.

he didn't say it with disgust or rage or spite. he said it like it was a fact. like he KNEW that i wouldn't go anywhere else- for my father had finally became a pastor. and he thought he could speak for God and all spirits on judgment. I watched as my father folded clothes and said this, busying himself so he wouldn't have to acknowledge me. then his wife stepped in, and she said: "You mind as well put your arm on the stove because that's what Hells gonna feel like.".

She spat this, in reference to me admitting to her how earlier I had recovered from self harm- that included burning. she used my pain against me. but I did not budge. i was proud that i finally could express anger after years of having to hear transgender/transsexual jokes demeaning people who did nothing but try to be happy. i stood up for US.

the next day came, and my father's wife refused to use my new name i legally changed, in front of her nail client. so after the client left, i calmly and politely asked if she could call me my name. i asked and expected respect. i expected communication and hopefully understanding.

then two minutes later, my father came to me and said: "You have to leave. you made her upset and she doesn't want you here anymore. you have to leave NOW." i was shocked, flabbergasted but most importantly, hurt. my father and his wife had been taking half and a lil more of my disability check. they said they'd house me after i was homeless. but in a day, after coming out, things had changed. i was no longer wanted in their home. and my father did not and would not fight for me.

my father tried to joke with me after, as he packed my things. he tried to laugh with me as i called my first stalker to house me for a night because i had barely any money and nowhere to go. and as i felt the last hug i ever truly recognized from my father, I felt nothing. For he no longer was my father, he was a man, a boy, who chose a woman and his wrong beliefs over his child's safety and life. it wasn't the fact that he didn't argue with her that hurt- it was the fact that he didn't leave WITH ME, HIS CHILD. he stayed. for a woman who may not even stay in his life. for she was young, and had options still to choose from.

all because i was a trans man- a transsexual man trying to live his life, despite the discrimination and prejudice i had to face, i was labelled as optional. and then deleted. that day i came out, was the day my father's "love" changed. he openly lies still and says he loves me, but tells me my beliefs are wrong. he constantly tries to convert me to Christianity and his form of toxic love. he still wants and thinks he can change me. and it bothers him that he can't.

the day i stood up for all trans people, was the day my father stopped being on my side. and it is still a day i remember, because it was the day I realized my father didn't know what love was. and so, how could i ever expect him to love me?

[pruneunfair]

When you have a shitty sibling. *TW: talk of abuse and rape*

This is a little different than what I usually post.

Not too long ago, I made a vent post that was mostly pretty vague but got the central point across, it's deleted now but not like it matters since it was just mindless ranting.

That vent post was dedicated mostly to my younger brother.

For all the people with siblings out there, we already know those corny depictions of brothers and sisters always getting along and calling each other "Big bro" was not the most accurate form of a sibling relationship. Naturally you fight a lot with this person considering they are a built in room mate, meaning you have to live with someone including their worst habits. Maybe they plop a plate into the sink right as you're done doing dishes, maybe they take your things without bothering to ask you, those are all normal things to expect out of a sibling. What doesn't feel normal is when they reach this level of behavior.

My brother who I'll refer to as B relatively liked to get on peoples nerves but other than that, he wasn't so bad to be around up until recently. It was little things at first, leaving his garbage behind in the living room, making a fuss if we asked him to do anything, and then it got progressively worse.

Skipping school for 3 months straight, running away from home to god knows what, bringing strange people home, vaping and taking substances, increasing levels of disrespect towards women, seemed to assume that if a person who happened to be female wasn't punished along side him meant that they were being bias toward her for being a girl, calling our own disabled mother lazy for being unable to work, expecting everyone to cater towards him and pick up his slack, actively call me and our mom a bitch/cunt, pretending that he's going to hit me to see me flinch, gaslighting us, severe lack of empathy, casually admitting to want to hit me and other people that make him mad, refusal to listen or admit when he's wrong.

B has changed this much in only the span of a year. The lack of empathy and over eagerness to have an excuse to threaten someone is honestly scaring me.

Lately I started to take on the role of tidying up around the house and cooking dinner. My mom as I mentioned is mentally disabled, she can still perform tasks herself and still is juggling around two households of the family, I don't wanna to get too into it but I'll just say that she needs to take a myriad of medication to help regulate her mind or else she could kill herself. Her mental health has declined in recent years to the point where she can't keep a job and she does need help more than ever.

Now I do not mind this at all, mom is still a very considerate woman who appreciates the help I do and still makes an effort to keep things easy, it's also a good way for me to learn independence and take care of myself. The problem is that I have to live with B for a brother and he likes to bring his gang of friends over for small house parties that I usually am in charge of when mom is away. The house is always left a mess as a result and I have to pick it up since B likes to weaponize his incompetence to escape responsibility, I have to pick up every piece of crap they leave behind and sweep up old crumbs off the floor only for those same kids to come back, destroy the house again, leave me to clean it up because B knows that if I don't, all he needs to do is continue weaponizing his incompetence until our mom snaps and has me clean it for him.

There is no compromising with him, B has made it clear that if he says "Nope" then we have to suck it up because he can always just run away to our dad or claim that we are just acting crazy. I can't even get some basic respect from him for being the maid for him and his friends bullshit.

Now this all wouldn't be so scary if I didn't know he had no empathy but he clearly doesn't. How do I know?

Well, I'll leave a pretty simple background: Mom kept telling dad to stop, Dad coerced mom that it would be fine and he lied about wearing a condom. 9 months later I was born.

This is very sensitive knowledge that we do not talk about at all, hell B and I weren't even supposed to know I was both a rape and a baby trap kid, I can't exactly remember why but mom mentioned it on a bad day that I now know was likely an episode.

And during an argument, B told our mother, the woman who was willing to stay with our father just so she can at least have a planned child in the name of B, that she should have taken some birth control before she "had sex" with our dad. That boy KNOWS that was one thing mom never wanted to remember, even when we reminded him WHY we don't talk about that, he didn't care, what mattered was that he got the point of him hating me across.

So yeah, I'm officially terrified of the same person who I used to know as an itty bitty baby sleeping in the crib next to my bed.

I know I am not the only one dealing with this shit, plenty of people do and it's shitty that you have to walk on egg shells around someone you knew when they were still innocent, a little baby turning into a monster with no interest in being better as a person, only in being right at all times. For anyone who has a shitty brother or sister reading this, I am so sorry that you have to live in fear of someone you called family but you are not alone, if you believe you might be in danger even, please tell someone, anyone at all, whenever it's a social worker at school, a cop, or even just a few people you trust. You don't deserve to believe you are worse then dirt just because you had to step up and pick up the slack around your household.

Thank you for listening.

[dissociacrip]

an aspect of autism i never really see discussed much is having a hard time comprehending "basic" things or just not being able to comprehend them at all and how people treat you like you're lesser for it or either see you as being lazy or just not trying hard enough. not just with social rules but practical things. iADLs and bADLs but also more than that. lower support needs autistic people typically don't have many issues with the latter but i imagine i'm not the only autistic person who is "book smart" and can understand what the theory of structural dissociation is (which, don't get me wrong, doesn't make me better than autistic people who aren't "book smart" or who are intellectually disabled) but i'll still make decisions about practical things that in hindsight don't make any logical goddamn sense or i'll otherwise fuck up "basic" stuff that seems to come to other people so easily. it's to the point where i don't need a carer and can technically live independently but don't feel like i should be because my brain just like. does not work well in this respect. and then other people who are on the receiving end of it think of me as stupid or lazy or immature or god forbid spoiled in some way (and newsflash to those people - autism is a developmental disorder. wild! and someone not having the same intellectual capacities as you do doesn't make them subhuman.)

like. idk what point i'm really trying to make here i think i'm just burnt out on allistic and abled society in general. autistic and intellectually disabled people and other developmentally disabled people are gonna struggle with "basic" shit and "basic" logic and "basic" functioning and "illogical" thinking/behavior and not "acting our age" (lol) and some of us need support in our day to day lives with these things in order to get by. fucking get over it. we don't need to change for you and most of us cannot. have compassion and patience with us and be supportive of us or leave us the hell alone. and people within the community need to have more respect for those with higher support needs or needs different from theirs. i am going to start biting people.

[natasha-in-space]

I just saw your post about Zen with a disabled MC, now I can ask you to do the same but this time is MC who has an invisible disability, you can choose what invisible disability is that

Sure thing! I decided to go with two different options here :)

: ̗̀➛ It will take Zen some time to educate himself and fully come to terms with all the nuances of chronic pain or fatigue if you're someone who is dealing with it in their daily life. Though I don't think he is completely unaware of it either. As I'm sure I've stated before, he definitely has disabled fans with whom he has interacted before. It's pretty reasonable to assume that at least a few fans with chronic pain and/or fatigue would approach him or send him their letters of appreciation, detailing their lives to him.

But he will be upset for you.

The way you react to it is entirely up to you, but I do think he will go through a phase of accidentally smothering you with his worry for your well-being. Telling you to rest when you say you're fine, doing easy tasks for you that you can perfectly do by yourself, and constantly asking if you're experiencing a flare-up or not. He has good intentions. He really does. Zen truly does view you as such an admirable and strong-willed person, but it simply breaks his heart to think of you struggling with anything by yourself when you already have such a difficult battle to endure almost every day.

You will most definitely have to share many sincere conversations with him about the topic. Set clear boundaries and educate him on the specific needs you do have. It won't be picture-perfect from the get-go, but Zen loves you to the moon and back. If you thought he was hardworking before, wait until you see all the work and commitment he puts into your relationship.

With time, you two will work out almost everything, even the smallest of details in your routines. He understands what you require during a flare-up. He knows when to leave you alone and when you'd rather have him hold your hand and coo into your hair loving words of reassurance, placing kisses to the crown of your head. And he ensures that you always have all the medication you may need in easy access.

Zen learns to let you make all the decisions you need, and you learn to rely on him whenever you want.

: ̗̀➛ And if you have a chronic mental illness, it's not much easier. People often undermine just how much your mental health can affect every single aspect of your life. I think Zen may be a bit less knowledgeable here. You're going to have to educate him on your disability, and how it affects you specifically. But despite being a bit clueless, Zen is not disrespectful by any means.

He will listen to you to talk without interruption, his hands clutched together on his knees, and his eyes completely focused on you. Knowing how much you're struggling will make his heart ache for you. Especially hearing jusy how hard it can be get basic respect from people when your disability isn't immediately noticed by human eyes. You can count on him to place a gentle hand on your shoulder and promise to always be there for you when you need him.

It's not going to be simple. And both of you will face challenges navigating your relationship. Zen will especially struggle with communication in this instance. Much like him taking on a role of a caretaker as I wrote prior, he will end up making the same mistake here. Only this time, it'll be him neglecting his own emotional needs and being hypersensitive to your mood changes throughout the day. He simply doesn't want to worry you or to cause you any more stress... Especially when you are dealing with a depressive episode, for exactly. Communication is something you two are going to have to work at one step at a time.

But Zen is nothing but stubborn. And he's very much stubborn about his love for you. When he was considering giving up on himself, you have been there for him and believed in him like no one else did. He is determined to demonstrate the same level of dedication to you, if not even more so. No matter what hurdles you two face, he will always be there to hold you tight and remind you just how much he loves you, at the end of the day.

I also kind of think that you dealing with a chronic mental illness will increase his awareness of the topic of mental health as a whole. His fans will probably see him donating to mental health charities and research, promoting mental health awareness in Korea, and advocating for the visibility of chronic mental health disabilities.

[starlightswordfight]

ignore that I haven't adventure time posted since august I just haven't finished ANY of my billion wips for it

but god this part always gets me it always ALWAYS gets me

because it's just so!! SO!!!

like in a character developing way it makes so so so much sense and and. and thematically?? AAUGH??? living as a different person entirely and growing to accept that and demand respect for who you are now and not what you were then is so so so good for like. the messages around things moving forward no matter what. you can't go backwards, so you should strive to be better Right Now, and embrace who you are and where you're at Right Now. the time will pass anyway

ignoring that in the AT finale he DOES get reset because of the digestion from golb but this isn't about that shhhh AT THE TIME this worked super fucking well

and just generally it can hit so hard in so many different ways. from the perspective of growing up, of a trans person, of a disabled person who may not have always been, or LITERALLY just like. anybody. this scene involving change and feeling as if you're fundamentally someone else (and that even if you were you should still be treated with agency and as if you're you and not a placeholder for an older self that doesn't exist anymore or an expectation that never did in the first place) probably did hit home for a LOT of people it sure as hell did w me

like. just the idea that you ARE worth it as a person. not because of things you were/did before, not because you could be something "better" but because you are here and you are alive and that is IT. and that is ALL the reason needed. OHHHHH

probably one of my favorite moments in. the series? not just the original show either, ANY of the installments. because you can like HEAR the realization in his voice, too, that this guy must have been happy whoever he was, surely, and hey, I deserve to live, too. I guess I'm worth it by virtue of being alive. I guess I'm a special person !!! (SCREAMS SCREAMS SCREAMS)

[problemnyatic]

little fact about me

If I had to pick one single thing I can't reconcile with more than anything else, it's cognative dissonance. Specifically choosing cognative dissonance. At best, i can't respect it. At worst, it triggers my kill it with fire psychological horror response.

As you can imagine, this makes living in the 2020s kind of like bathing in boiling acid for my brain. But moreover, it makes me the kind of person that people love until they hate.

Because I'm honest. About who I am, about what I like about others, and I love learning other people's truths, no matter what those truths are. But I also don't let people pretend things are fine when they're not and need fixing. And that is, generally, the single most cardinal sin possible, especially among white folks.

It's why I'm always swinging bats at hornets nests on here. Besides just needing an outlet for my frustration, so much of what I pick at is, to me, cognative dissonance, people telling themselves that this or that is true when it's not, but they'd rather plug their ears and shout than face the mere possibility of being wrong, if they even consider it at all.

I hate that more than anything.

Because being wrong is inevitable. Not about everything, but about some things, and it's far more likely around emotionally charged issues. And even worse, if it's not about being wrong, it's about.. deciding that the truth isn't worth the effort of respecting.

I don't understand it. How can you not mask, while covid is still disabling people for life, still killing people, left and right? How can you still be engaging with moral purity, with sex and kink negativity as a queer person? Why do so many insist on dismissing the forest because they've found a favorite tree to love or hate?

I don't know. But I do know I'm not afraid to make people upset in the name of being fucking real. I'd rather keep it real, be messy, be honest, and espouse the inconvenient than be easy and likeable and simple. There's too goddamn much in the world going wrong, there's too much working against us. We need to be fucking honest about the ugly and scary truths if we're gonna have any hope of actually changing them.

You can't fix a problem if you're pretending it doesn't exist. You'll feel a lot better once it's actually fixed. Yeah even if fixing it sucks shit the whole time. At least that way it actually fucking ends.

[notdefendingtaylor]

the most worrying thing to me about the asylum aesthetic

aside from the clear co-opting of mentally ill and disabled people's historical abuses under a broken, underfunded, and at times deeply unscientific system....

is that mental healthcare available NOW can be a profound help, life changing AND life saving.

but the asylum/love made me crazy/'female rage' imagery of ttpd is provoking a lot of discussion about historical abuses and the actual benefits are getting somewhat lost in that discussion. (scientology, THE anti-psychiatry organization, must be thrilled.)

here are some facts about recovery under appropriate and professional help:

bipolar: "Shorter duration of illness, higher social class, and treatment compliance were associated with higher rates of recovery and more rapid recovery." (source)

borderline personality disorder: "One study found that 77% of participants no longer qualified for the DBT diagnosis [of borderline] after one year [of DBT treatment]" (source)

major depressive disorder: "Clinical and functional remission was achieved in 70.6% and 56.1% of the MDD patients, respectively." (source)

hospitalizations: "it can reduce the stress of daily responsibilities for a brief period of time, which allows you to concentrate on recovery from a mental health crisis. As your crisis lessens, and you are better able to care for yourself, you can begin planning for your discharge. In-patient care is not designed to keep you confined indefinitely; the goal is to maximize independent living by using the appropriate level of care for your specific illness." (source)

what is my point here? contributing to the STIGMA around psychiatric care, trying to couch mental illness in language of romantic shared mania (folie à deux) is not just giving 2005 myspace, it's inherently irresponsible. a 'recovery is possible' mindset is what saves lives and in the US, her home country, the stigma against seeking help works hand in hand with the systematic defunding of mental health care to dissuade people from achieving the recovery that can lead to abatement of suffering and transition into a life worth living.

here's my mental illness cheat sheet:

it's not romantic. it can be associated with creativity, but that's not guaranteed or inherent and may largely be a cliche that sidetracks real functional improvement: "Romanticizing the 'mad genius' myths surrounding bipolar disorder can also be harmful, and have negative consequences on your wellbeing and productivity." (source)

it's expensive as hell to treat, but under certain income thresholds in the US, Medicaid can pay for most if not all of the treatment you might need.

it generally leads to lower employment rates or underemployment but treatment leads to the best outcomes for employment and housing: "undertreatment can have a negative impact on occupational functioning" (source)

substance abuse is a conversation that can't be unlinked to mental illness and for some reason the US seems more ready to talk about that than the underlying mental health issues - because then an element of blame can be assigned to the individual for self-destructive behavior. but addressing the core mental health issues can certainly lead to recovery in other areas, when the substance use is linked to depression, anxiety, etc.

the US loves to talk about mental illness when gun violence occurs, but that doesn't mean those same legislators will vote to expand access to mental health treatment (source)

my #1 tip i have is this: if you don't have insurance or your insurance only covers a fraction of your psych inpatient bill, CONTACT PATIENT FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE AND FILL OUT PAPERWORK TO SEEK A WRITE-OFF. instead of that $3000 bill you can leave owing $500 (or less). literally cannot emphasize this enough! the write-off is based on income so they will need to see your financials to assess what write-off(s) may be appropriate in your case.

peer support groups like National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) may hold meetings in your area where you can discuss your problems and relate to others' who may share some of your struggles. this is basically peer-led, FREE group 'counseling'. seriously, it's effectively nearly as good as the group sessions you might have to pay for, and the frequency is often weekly. (find support)

yes, we can talk about past historical psychiatric abuses and ongoing abuses today, which tend to disproportionately affect the socioeconomically disadvantaged. but the conversation needs to also include the benefits of access to scientifically-informed mental health treatment as well.

[olderthannetfic]

One of my pet peeves that very few people understand is my absolute dislike of comparisons of marginalization.

Ok so like, it's not that you can't do a "PoC and Queerness" comparison. But too many people fuck it up so bad, and it just ends up undermining one struggle, or presenting both in a weird light. It doesn't give enough breathing room to either issue. Also, yes I'm a big person myself. Because some exhausting people require this as a preface when you criticize people for shit takes.

But what I especially don't like is when, eg the incident that made me write this: Fatness is compared to being POC (or Queerness.) Yes there's intersectionality, but what I'm talking about isn't people talking about intersectionality, but rather comparing and equating the struggles of being (in this case) fat to being Queer/POC/Disabled/ND etc.

You are putting something that you can change and comparing it to something that you can't. Yes in this case losing weight can be hard, but it's still possible. But if you're POC you can't change that.

The comparison that recently riled me up was that someone said that being fat is like being POC. " Nobody respects fat people, and fat people aren't viewed as desirable as white people. (...) there was a lot more of the "Being fat is like being POC" arguing. Fat people have less rights, just like POC. Fat people have negative stereotypes they have to live with, just like POC. Fat people deal with negative commentary, just like POC. Etcetcetc

And here my question is: why do you need to use people being POC and their struggles as your sword to make an argument for fatness? Being fat isn't being POC, and it's not even in the same ballpark of marginalization. Again, this was NOT about intersectionality, or the struggles that a person at the intersection might face, this was 100% just about comparing fatness to be on a similar level of marginalization and oppression as being POC, to equate the struggles as being equal. (On purpose or by sheer ignorance Idk.)

It's not even about denying the struggles of being fat. But the level of marginalization is comparing a pan fire to a forest fire. You're not going to be targetted by the police just for being fat, you're not going to have your rights taken away and be killed for just being fat, and then the police says you were aggressively running away while the police shoot at you. You're not going to have your entire family deported for being fat. Yes fat people face marginalization, but stick to the relevant topics and don't write an essay about fatness equating to the same level or marginalization as being POC.

--

[hello-universe-lovers]

hey

if this doesn't bother you, can you please loredump about your stp voices

like, noooo I'm not here to steal ideas, why in the world would I ever do that

still, I am curious

bonus if you can talk about your ships

Honey, nothing is original anymore/hj

But I plan to have a whole ass au for my version of stp, which changes the voices and princesses. If you want to wait for that, you can stay tuned.

If not. I guess I can go more into my voice ships.

- Stubtunist: this started As a joke, but as I learned about myself: once a joke happens, it sticks. My version of Stubborn lives by KISS (Keep it Simple, Stupid), is Aussie-coded and INCREDIBLY strong. A guy like him would make for easy target for Oppy to weasel into for that extra protection. But overtime, Oppy's attitude changed significantly. Think of it like your Smittunist, except Stubborn is aware he wasn't being genuine, at first. Once Oppy makes an effort to do better, he was one of the first to accept his apology and ended up being his hype man/trainer. My version of Oppy tends to let analytics take over his brain (so he can think who to side with on the fly), to which Stubborn will literally knock him out of it, and keep him on the "not-so-straight-but-good-enough" road. Hell, Stubborn being so open and readable reassured Oppy since he doesn't need to pretend or be afraid of him. If he's upset, he'd let him know.

- CheatBroken: My version of these 2 are different. For one, both are disabled due to the princesses (Fury and Wild, respectively), and they are also girls, so this is Sapphic as shit. Just 2 people with varying degree of "I'm done with the world" getting together to bitch and moan, until something akin to mutual affection forms. They can understand each other physically and mentally, and that makes it so they are the comfort pillow and wake up call both needed. Neither want their attitude to drag the other down, and can recognize the signs of a mental spiral to wake em out of it. There really isn't anything too deep with em, they just happened as a joke (this is a problem/j)

- HeroCold (and basically everyone tbh): oh...them. I don't hate them, mind you. But this is pure crack, from the outside perspective. My Cold shows signs of depression and does the bare minimum to keep himself alive (not that he needs to, but it's a pain to listen to Hero rant about his "health" so he keeps it up). His care for the others are as muted as canon Cold. The only difference is that he has slightly more sympathy. When Hero is stressed from making sure everyone is OK, he is there to offer coffee that he always has. He talks Paranoid out of his own fears, he gets Smitten to tone back on the love poems, he gets Stubborn to stop punching the Wall, and so on. The reason HeroCold is the main ship is bc they somehow became the "parents" of this dysfunctional family. But that's not saying a lot, as they themselves are complicated.

- Smittunist: you must be familiar with this one ;). But mine is slightly different. Mainly, the dynamic is reverse. Instead of Oppy being jealous of the Princess, it's Smitten that's jealous. His main princess of devotion is the Tower, someone who, while appreciative of his company, is incapable of reciprocating his romantic feelings. She sees him as a disciple or priest or whatever, not a "lover". Meanwhile, Oppy has a girlfriend in the Thorn (the princesses are all poly too, your honor), who they treat with tenderness, even if their personalities clash. Sometimes they fight, make out, or just casually exist around each other. But it's REAL, it's DOMESTIC, and by GOD, if Smitten's heart craved it. He of course, never admits it out loud. To be loved by his Goddess is more than enough, why should he be greedy and think about another woman's man's man woman?! Meanwhile, Oppy picked up thst Smitten is faking his emotions (takes one to know one, and all) and since he still has to rebuild bridges, he and Thorn are on their own in deciphering what's wrong with their resident love bird.

And that's all for now!! I have more dynamics in between voices, but these are the ones I thought the most about. If you are OK with more dispersed thoughts on other ships, I am willing to put em here. ContraHero for one is smth I would want an excuse to think more about ;)

[dandylovesturtles]

Hello, Wheelchair Annon here again (my sister parked me in the corner). I hope you don’t mind me chiming in again…

One of the biggest things that changed from being able bodied to being in a wheelchair is other people’s attitudes towards me. This is in two main ways:

Talking to whoever is with me instead of talking directly to me, even if it’s about me. People act as if I am mentally incapable and unable to participate in conversation, or even just act like I’m not there.

No respect for my personal space. I’m talking random strangers and people I barely know doing stuff, usually without even talking to me. This has included: someone coming up behind me and rocking my wheelchair back and forth; someone hanging sitting behind me hanging their jacket on the handles of my wheelchair; leaning on my wheelchair while in a lift; and messing with the controls of my electric wheelchair so I move even when I don’t want to.

How does Leo cope with this change in attitude towards him? (Does it actually happen, or are Yokai more egalitarian?). Leo considers himself the face man; how does he cope when other people don’t see him in the same way anymore? How does he cope when other non- human people don’t always see him as a person? (And does this factor into any issues he may have vis-a-vis growing up as a non human in a human world for the first 14 years of his life?)

(Also, I have a bunch more stuff I can think of relating to wheelchair use, being disabled, chronic fatigue and other stuff, but I really don’t want to overwhelm you. Would you like me to keep asking/pointing out stuff? I will not be offended if you say no!! <3)

Anon, PLEASE feel free to keep sending me these! Whatever you feel comfortable sharing! Like I said at the beginning of this, I'm able-bodied myself, so I can research all day but it's not the same as having lived experience, and I'm really grateful for your perspective! ^^

I've heard the horror stories from other wheelchair users about people just thinking they can do whatever they want with wheelchairs (which is insane to me, like, if you wouldn't rock a chair a stranger is sitting in why would you do that with a wheelchair??), it's why I included the whole point about how only the fam (+Hueso who is very responsible) is allowed to grab Leo's wheelchair handles without repercussion. It's still crazy to me that people just feel entitled to move your wheelchair or hang stuff off of it, though.

The thing about people no longer talking directly to you though, oof. I've heard people who are deaf talk about this happening but it makes sense that it would happen to wheelchair users too. I'm sorry that happens to you, anon.

To answer the questions... to start with, I don't think being accepted by humans is ever really a thing rise!Leo is particularly concerned with, and especially after they learned about yokai and the Hidden City he had other ways to fulfill his social needs that don't involve trying to get humans to accept being around mutant turtles. There is that little voice in the back of his head pointing out that he is Other, but in canon at least I don't think he lets it get him down too much.

as for yokai society itself, though, this is an interesting thing to think about! on one hand, yokai have a much greater mix of... appendage situations?? going on than humans do, so I wouldn't be surprised if the Hidden City is generally more accessible, just because shops are already factoring in that some of their customers won't have legs/arms/what have you. on the flip side, though, the chair itself is a pretty obvious visual indicator that even for his species Leo is disabled, and that would probably still lead to people talking to his siblings like he isn't there.

this would definitely be a hit to Leo's confidence, since it ties into the things he already struggles with. and to make things worse, I think it's one of those things that his family probably doesn't even realize is happening at first? especially because the experiences are spread around, so they're all getting fewer instances of it happening to notice than Leo is. but yeah I could see one of them going through a whole conversation without realizing that the person they're talking to hasn't talked to or directly responded to Leo once, and at the end they're like, "oh, they're so nice!" while Leo is sitting there feeling like he just got completely closed out of the conversation

I think Leo would just let it go for awhile at first. why would people want to talk to him, he's the failure brother! he may not even realize it's just a response to the wheelchair, initially. but as Leo gets healthier mentally (and maybe finds some community support, either online or in person), he'd start sticking up for himself more often.

I can imagine one day someone asks Raph, "Oh, how is Leo?" and Leo is like, "Leo's great, actually, his ears work just fine!" and that's the moment Raph realizes that this has been happening the whole time and for awhile Leo just let it happen and oops they just let it happen too

they are learning, though! nowhere to go but up!