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cainsnocreaturefeature · 5 years ago

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He cleaned up nicely for a nerd.

Of course she wouldn’t say that out loud, though. Lord knows he’d lord it over her head for a decade if she admitted it, especially to him. But she wasn’t going to lie - he did clean up very, very nicely. Billy and Cindy were a frightening duo to mess with when it came to coordinating someone’s appearance, and Monty had ended up being one of their best works yet.

Again. She would never tell him that outright.

Cindy had done a good job with his outfit by choosing darker greens to complement her lighter greens and teals, and his mask may have been simpler in its design, but it mirrored her own mask, a portion curling around the right side of his face like the trailing end of a butterfly’s wing the same way one did on the left side of her face. Thankfully enough only a small fraction of his freckles were covered up by the mask - Carla didn’t particularly like the idea of not seeing them, anyway.

Carla liked his freckles. They might have been one of the nicest parts about him.

“You’re lucky my feet are metal now.”

Carla paused, and lifted up the skirt slightly to see where her shoe was. The heel of her left shoe was quite nearly embedded in Monty’s left foot.

Oops.

“Did I actually-” She lifted the heel away delicately to see what damage she’d caused. “Ugh. Sorry. My bad.”

“You are so lucky I couldn’t feel that.”

“I know, cabron, don’t get on my ass about it,” She grumbled, glaring down at the floor to watch where she was stepping this time. Stupid heels. Stupid Cindy. She had half a mind to snap off the heels already, but the shoes weren’t built to be flats. Damn it.

The hand that Monty was holding felt a slight pressure on it, and she glanced towards it to realize that Monty had squeezed it - in reassurance? Maybe. He guided Carla to the right as he said, “It’s just a little dent. Don’t worry about it.”

“I poked a hole right through it.”

“It’ll be fine, trust me. These babies are practically made of the same thing Penny’s metal parts are made out of,” Monty paused in leading the dance to lift himself up slightly, clicking his heels together and making a tinny little sound with them as he did so. “Really no harm done.”

Carla scowled down at the heels on her feet, clicking them against the dance floor. “Stupid Cindy making us all wear heels. What even is the point? She herself stopped Alice from wearing any because she was so tall but I still had to wear heels?! Where is the equality?!”

“I think they’re fine.”

“Of course you do. Estúpidos malditos tacones.”

Monty laughed, but not unkindly. He’d found her predicament highly amusing for some reason, much to her chagrin, but at least he’d been extremely helpful when it came to helping her find her bearings in the heels. Carla didn’t wear heels normally - as deadly as they were (and she appreciated that), they weren’t exactly comfortable for the kind of things she did every day.

Carla gave him a look as the music shifted in tone into something much more lively - was that a tango? “How dare you derive pleasure from my pain. What kind of partner are you, Montgomery M. Montgomery?”

“A devilishly handsome one who’s about to pull you in for a tango.”

Beat.

“Wait, wh-”

Suddenly, all the partnered dancers on the dance floor all drew close to each other - Monty and Carla included. The sudden proximity made Carla realize exactly how much height her heels added - and how much height Monty had added with his robolegs.

“Cheater, you’re not this tall,” Carla accused, her hands falling into place.

Monty grinned. “Maybe so, but it looks like you’re the only one who caaaaares~”

“Oh, shut up, gringo.” Her grip on his hand tightening, it was her turn to take the lead - and Monty followed willingly, matching each of her steps with his own. Thank god they had at least a semblance of an idea as to what they were doing on the dance floor - tango for second semester physical education paid off after all.

Carla hooked her leg around his waist and leaned far backwards, one hand outstretched and the other holding on tightly to Monty’s shoulder - while Monty’s one arm supported her back as the other hand stretched out. With a sweeping motion, Monty pulled Carla back on her feet before engaging in a series of rather complicated twists and turns, their legs only just barely entangling with each other’s as they made their way through the dance floor.

“Not bad,” Carla teased. “And you said tango was pointless.”

“I didn’t say that,” Monty corrected as they twirled past a pair of dancers. “I said tango was pointless without a good partner.”

Carla raised an eyebrow, a teasing smirk threatening to spread across her face. “And you’re calling me a good partner?”

“Maybe so, miss Morte. Maybe so.” Monty dipped his head ever so slightly, looking up at Carla through half-lidded eyes, and for the briefest of moments Carla considered the possibility of him having captured the stars and placed them in his eyes with how they glinted in that exact moment. “But I guess you’ll have to prove to me that my assumption was correct, huh?”

Carla’s face broke into a mischievous grin paired with a look Monty could only describe as extremely, extremely attractive. “Oh, you’re just asking for it, querido.”

And then she took the reigns, just as the music swelled.

Oh, how fast, how excitingly they danced, getting lost in the music, getting lost in each other’s eyes, not paying too much mind to the dancers all around them, nor to the people who were seeing them, nor to the path they followed on the dance floor they tread upon. Even though they weren’t thinking about it, their feet already seemed to know where to go, traipsing and twisting and turning and gliding them across the area and allowing the two of them to focus only on the person whose gaze they were holding - the person right in front of them.

Neither of them really noticed exactly how it happened, but it came to a point where they realized that they were both a hair’s breadth away from each other, their noses brushing the other’s cheek as the music slowed considerably - still unfinished, but slowing.

She should’ve reacted to his proximity.

But she didn’t.

Her mind was elsewhere.

How pretty his eyes were, up close. A ‘shamrock green’, Lily had called it, to differentiate from Nugget’s emerald and Penny’s lime. Time and time again Carla had gotten almost close enough to see them in their beauty, but not this close. Being this up close and personal with him felt like she was dancing dangerously close to the edge of something she wasn’t sure she completely understood - something dangerous, but exciting.

Were those words she associated with Monty Montgomery?

Monty’s breath fanned across her face, warm and familiar. The corner of his mouth was dangerously close to her lips, his hand still resting squarely on her back, the other holding one of hers as her other hand held onto his arm like a lifeline. In the soft light of the ballroom, his eyes shone like diamonds in the rough, and the crystalline chandeliers high above their heads bounced light and dappled them across his cheeks like the stars in the sky.

He was beautiful.

(And if she’d been in his head in that moment, she would have seen herself through his eyes - radiant in her beauty, her eyes sparkling like fireworks in the sky, her playful smile that shone like the sun and could light up the room - and learned that he thought the same.)

It was only the two of them in that ballroom at that moment, the others be damned.

As the music slowed to a stop, Carla turned her head to the side slightly, and met his lips with her own as her eyes fluttered closed.

Oh, Monty Montgomery was a dangerous man. And Carla liked to flirt with danger.

-=-=-

That hadn’t been Penny.

Kidd felt nauseous. His hands sought purchase on the fabric of the table, clenching it in his fists and threatening to tear the delicate cloth with how tightly he held it in his hands. Numbly he could tell Billy was asking him something - probably about what was wrong, if he was okay - but he couldn’t hear it, per say; everything had thinned out into white noise as his brain repeated over and over one word.

Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot.

As Penny neared their table, her appearance hammered in home how blind he’d been - how terrified he’d been of what had been about to come that he’d failed to see what had been right in front of him. She was taller than how she usually was thanks to the heels Cindy had made her wear - but not as tall as the Penny impersonator had been. Her braid was just as intricate, draped over her left shoulder, but her mask was different, more complex - white with blue featherlike patterns on the right side of her face, as opposed to the plainer black mask of her impostor.

“Hi guys,” Penny greeted warmly, waving to the group before beaming at the sight of Ozzy and the others. “You came!”

Jerome smiled. “Wouldn’t miss this party for the world, Pen.”

Her voice was more mature, and much louder. The soft voice should have tipped him off.

Idiot. Idiot.

His grip on the tablecloth tightened. Billy placed his hands over one of his hands, but said nothing. He didn’t know what to say - not when Kidd wouldn’t say what was wrong.

“Weren’t you wearing red earlier, Pen?” Madison asked curiously. “Did you change your mind?”

Penny blinked, confused, as she clasped her hands together in front of her. “I don’t know what you mean. I wore this before I came here.”

“Huh.” Madison scratched at her cheek thoughtfully. “Must’ve been a trick of the light.”

“Or we thought someone else was you,” Ozzy offered. “But I highly doubt that. You’re sure you were wearing that already before you came here?”

Penny nodded. “I did consider the red and black dress, but I went with this in the end. It appealed to me more - I hope Theo doesn’t mind that I didn’t match with him... oh!” She perked up. “Speaking of which, have any of you seen Theo?”

Ted went out to chase the fake Penny.

He’s not back yet.

“He-” Kidd was startled by how tight his voice seemed to be. “He went looking for you outside.”

The cyborg’s mouth formed an ‘o’ of surprise. “D-did he know I was already on the way, or did someone fool him into thinking I was already here?”

Oh, how unintentionally on-the-nose she was sometimes.

“Something... something along the lines of the second,” Kidd murmured. At the look on Billy’s face, he released the tablecloth with a heavy sigh before standing up. “I... I’ll go look for him for you. Stay here with everyone else.”

Billy stood up. “I’ll go with you.”

“No- no, stay here, with everyone else too. I’ll-” Kidd’s eyes darted frantically around before spotting a familiar duo in green. “I’ll take Monty and Carla with me. They know this place better than anyone. Just... just all of you stay here. Okay? Stick together.”

Stick together. Don’t be an idiot.

Idiot. Idiot.

Billy frowned. “... You’re sure?”

“Please, Billy,” And here Kidd held both of Billy’s hands in between his, holding on tightly. “Promise me you guys will all stay here together. Cindy, Ron, and Alice - I know they’re together, at least, even if not here. Just- just please stick together. And keep an eye out.”

Be safe.

Billy knew his unspoken words like the back of his hand - he and Lily both did. They had to. Kidd was almost as cryptic as Alice - but at least he was more sensible than she in wording. With a solemn nod, Billy withdrew his hands, taking his seat once more.

Penny cocked her head to the side. “I could always just look for him myself... it’s no trouble at all.”

“It’s fine, I just- we’ll find him for you. No need to run in that dress, Penny.” And with a nod, Kidd headed for the dance floor towards where Carla and Monty were. He melted into the throng of dancers, weaving his way through and losing sight of the group at the tables -

- just as someone showed up, decked in whites and blues with hints of dark grays, his hand placing itself on Penny’s shoulder.

Penny visibly jumped before turning around. At the sight of who it was, however, everyone saw her eyes light up in genuine delight.

“Theo! There you are!”

#kindergarten game #kindergarten #kindergarten 2 #cain's no creature feature au #cncf answered #cncf queue #ii: the lord in blue

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inky-here · 5 years ago

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I mean; Billy is literally partially mutated due to a Teacher/Principal, can't blame them for being on edge and at there Worst

Gwen: You know what, I've quit understanding everything like five asks ago.

Neil: How is that even possible?!

Billy: *really fast speaking* Well our principal that was also Jerome's father closed me in a school basement and almost mutated me to a monster to make pills or something. In the other school we were almost killed by another principal that was also Penny's mother that was also making monsters out of students but somehow Kidd always came and saved the day.

Max: Just like me.

Nikki: *chuckle*

Max: What are you laughing at?

Neil: *absolute silence*

Billy: Oh yeah and both the teachers are dead now.

Dolph: Zey seemed like avful parents!

New girl, to Jerome and Penny: *sarcastic* Welcome to the club with good-for-nothing parents, guys!

Jerome: *pissed off* Could you not mention that ever again, Billy? You made Penny sad!

Billy, just talking about the pills to Neil:

Billy: imma head out

David: *nervous laughing* Ooookay, umm.. any questions about the camp? Anyone?

Max: Stop trying to fix this messed up atmosphere, you already failed and it will stay here the whole summer.

#camp camp #cc david #cc max #kindergarten #billy kindergarten #kindergarten game #cc dolph #cc gwen #cc neil #cc nikki #jerome #penny

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drdanners-art-lab · 5 years ago

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What are your ships? (Don’t bother saying ‘Bob x Danner’ because I know it and love it. :3)

My ships other than *that one*:

... I don't ship the kids a lot. Not that I dont like it, its just I find the adult ships a little more interesting.

The ships imma mention are gonna be pretty rare, (and quite possibly "Weird" to some people) so buckle your ass.

I absolutely ship:

-Magnus: Margaret x Agnes

-Bannergate: Bob x Danner x Applegate (haven't drawn it yet :3) ((Also Dannergate alone as well))

-basically I kinda ship Danner with every other adult besides Agnes, the lunch ladies and the Janitor... (Yes, even the first principal)

Ships I like, but don't draw:

-Penny x Ted

-Felix x Nugget

-Buggs x Kidd

-Month x Jerome

Aaaand... That's about it. Hope you aren't too dissapointed!

#kindergarten 2 #kindergarten #Text post #Ship opinions

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kg2hub · 5 years ago

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2, 4, 5, and 12 for the Handwriting Ask Meme?

HANDWRITING ASK MEME ! | Accepting!

2. write something you love about your character .

4. write the url of a roleplayer , or roleplayers , you admire .

5. write what ships you have for your character , and possibly why you ship them .

12. do you have a favorite au for your muse ?

((me writing down an inactive rper bc we’d be here all day if i wrote down every url of the people i admire and don’t wanna leave anyone out? it’s more likely than u thi))

((why i ship theonny– basically i blame ryu bc i wasn’t big on penny when i first got into kg2 until they happened lmao. but theonny’s dynamic outside of cncf and just. more in canon could be really nice too,, they’re nice and sweet kids at their core. they both are fucked over by their families. there’s lots of potential bonding going on there

tozzy was my first ship in the kg2 fandom hgfdsfg watching playthroughs of the game, i was just,,, :thonk: why does ted pay this much attention to everything ozzy does hmmm?

red is my shit,,,,,, ron is heavily headcanon based in the fandom, so i rlly like the idea of this happy go lucky prankster being so friendly and encouraging to a kid who obviously needs some kind of support in his life.

monted is Good,, i can see monty being interested in the twins mostly for money at first, but since we’re going the ted route, i think he’d see how awful ted gets treated and even if monty’s rlly money-driven, i’m p sure he has standards. like, he gets freaked out about biscuit and finding out penny’s an android. being worried about ted isn’t too far off an assumption

i blame razz for me shipping ted with cindy, bc of that one drabble they wrote where cindy chooses ted instead of felix and it’s?? so soft??? cindy genuinely liking ted bc he’s just,, so kind and sweet and learning to be nicer because of him is good shit!!!!!!

hgfdsdfgfcdfvgb tilly cute,, i guess i like it bc i also like lilex, so just. pair up their brothers together too lmao

i guess with carla i kinda,, ship her with him because i think it’d be cute? he tries so hard to make sure she doesn’t hate him lmao it’s rlly sweet;;;;

with kidd, i guess it’s mostly because of that one comic where kidd gives the love letter to ted and he fuckin accepts it fghgfdsfg it’s adorable. also hmmm bc of dynamics i’ve rped and seen my friends rp :’)ccc))

#|| Some Dumb College Kid || OOC.#|| Did You Mean To Talk To Felix? || Asks.#|| Like An Open Book || Meme Answers.#|| Smart Class Stuff || Long posts.#long post #Anonymous

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grabby-hands · 5 years ago

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((A,,,Alice in wonderland,, au..?

I’ve never actually seen the movies or anything like that tbh, I’m playing a really fucked up game, so I do know some of the characters?

So, I’m only doing to do the 2 characters I at least know a LITTLE about, the rest of the characters I’m making up my own thing.

Edit: Honestly now that I reread this it doesn’t seem very good for that, but I’m not editing it to say it’s just a random au so,,oh well

Alice- Kidd, obviously Player

Main character, trapped in Wonderland and getting help from others to try and get home. If anyone dies, Kidd fails and the place he’s in resets. He cannot go back the entire day, only that specific place.

Chesire Cat- Felix and Ted Neutral

Only part cat, sneaky little princes that speak in riddles. You’ll probably never get a straight answer from them. They don’t mean to harm, it’s all just in good fun to them. You can bribe them to give more hints using tea. Not enemies, but also not allies.

Nugget- Ally (Possible Enemy)

Obviously, insane. An ally, but extremely contradictory. He jumps topics a lot and says random things sometimes. Despite this, he’s the strongest ally you can have and it’s best to keep him happy.

Stevie and The Hall Monitor- Allies

Pop up here and there. They prevent you from going into a dangerous area or moving ahead too soon. They do their best to help, but sometimes it is unwanted help.

Carla- Neutral

Pay her and she’ll give you tips and hints. Give her a specific payment and she’ll go distract someone (Enemies or Stevie and Hall Monitor). Helpful, but she doesn’t go into battles with you. She can also be paid to work against you by your enemies.

Ozzy and Madison- Allies

They have a quest for you, get rid of the pests around their home and they will give you a reward. This reward is new weapons or new outfits. You can keep coming back to get more, but repeats of the same items are possible. Ozzy is a prince.

Buggs- Enemy (Possible Ally)

An enemy that pops up randomly along the journey. He’s always looking for a fight. You have a choice towards the end of the game to either kill him or befriend him. He is the only character (besides the official enemies that can’t be befriended) that you can kill without the room being reset.

Cindy- Ally (Possible Enemy)

An ally that can be turned enemy. She is the princess of another kingdom you come across. She wants a prince to marry. You can claim to be a prince and date her, you can try to talk it out and agree to try helping her find a suitable prince along the journey if she joins and helps you, or you can make her an enemy immediately. It’s best to keep her an ally if you can. She is a beloved princess, after all. You may anger some people by hurting her.

Ron and Alice- Allies

They’re with Ozzy and Madison as well. They request you to help get materials for stuff they wish to make. They will make specific items for you if you request it and get the materials for them to do so.

Billy and Lily- Allies

They worry most about each other. They will not attack if you make them distrust you, instead, they will simply leave and never return. There is no fixing it if you fuck things up with them. They’re not needed for battles, but they gather materials you pass up and they can heal people in your group. It’s recommended that you keep them around.

Jerome- Ally (Possible Enemy)

He comes along on the journey because you tell him you’re searching for his father. It is best to try and show him how bad his father is before you actually attack the male Principal. If you fail to do this, he will betray you the second you attack and he will go after you instead.

Monty- Neutral

Simple shop owner. He will sell to anyone, enemies included. Nothing much to say, but he sells some good shit.

Penny- Enemy turned Ally

Penny is of course controlled by her mother a majority of the time, going after you constantly. Towards the end, you need to break the item controlling her and she will become your ally for the rest of the game and help you take down the enemies you face.

Bob- Ally

He passes by randomly throughout the journey and will help you in battles whenever he sees you in one. He’s completely random, but you can buy something from Monty that will signal to him you need help. After two more hits from your group, he will show up and help you finish the battle.

Agnes- Ally

There’s a possibility of your friends going insane throughout the journey, stop by Agnes when you notice someone’s sanity getting too low. She’ll take them until you enter the next room and raise their sanity. It’s best to defeat all enemies in that room before you give anyone to her, incase you need their help.

Principals, Janitor, the Lunch Ladies- Enemies

Of course, they’re the ones behind bringing Kidd into this world. You learn more about them and why they’re doing this as you progress along the journey so it’s best to examine your surroundings plenty. Once they’ve all been killed, you get to go home. You have the option of bringing all your friends along as well, but some may wish to say in Wonderland anyway.

#Does.. Does this sound okay?? I did my best;;#I don't know what to think of it now;;;#// OOC

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tessatechaitea · 5 years ago

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Teen Titans Spotlight #5: Jericho

Princess of Gemworld

How will he not know when he finds his fingers have been Crazy Glued to his cock?

With Jericho's powers, I don't know why he needs Garfield's fingerprints. Why not just possess Steve Dayton himself, knock him out so he can't scream for help, and just walk in to grab the promethium? Or hire his dad to get the shit! He could probably guilt Deathstork into doing loads of illegal stuff for him.

Why would Steve Dayton allow Garfield Logan access to his promethium?! Yeah, I fucking know Logan's his son. It still doesn't fucking make sense!

Jericho takes the promethium back to Arthur Lord so he can trade it to the Quraci government and save his daughter's life. But it's only after Lord leaves Addie's place with the promethium that she says to Jericho, "I think we just got scammed!"

Jericho responds, "I think you're a loser."

Sure enough, Penny and Arthur were just using Joey and his mom to get their hands on the most destructive non-Lobo thing in the DC Universe. Penny is all, "That dupe actually thought I loved him! But we didn't even fuck! I just held a tin of microwaved potato salad between my legs and let him fuck that." That's what sex feels like, right? Fucking warm potato salad? I mean, I totally know that's what it's like. I hope! I mean, I don't hope it feels like that in that I love the feeling of fucking warm potato salad! I hope that's what it feels like so people who have fucked don't think I haven't fucked because I described it poorly. We all have different experiences anyway! You can't invalidate my description of what it felt like when I totally had sex all those times! Joseph, being the biggest dupe of them all, didn't replace the promethium tablets with Sugar Mamas like I would have expected him to do. So now he and his mother have to break into Arthur Lord's secret laboratory and resteal the promethium tablets! If only they had consulted Nightwing, they could have been done with this adventure already. He would have been all, "Man, Joey, you smell like potato salad ! Did you fall for the fake lover with the potato salad between her legs trick? You better not trust her, buddy!" Oh, I was wrong! They don't break into Lord's place at all! They think their smartest move is to break into Qurac and kidnap Curt, Penny's husband! I guess they can use him as leverage. Although couldn't Joey have lifted Penny's fingerprints off of his prostate to gain access to the secret lab? If Joey had the ability to sneak into Qurac to rescue Penny without risking the entire world by giving Qurac promethium, why the fuck wasn't that the plan from the beginning?! I'm starting to sense that maybe Marv Wolfman was on Quaaludes when he wrote this script.

That would be Joey's crotch.

There's an advert for NBC's Saturday morning line-up in this issue and it just makes me wonder: if modern conservatives are so pissed off about everything in our culture that they see as emasculating the kind of man they think every guy should be, where the fuck were they in 1986 while I was watching Kissyfur, The Gummi Bears, Smurfs, Punky Brewster, Alvin and the Chipmunks, Foofur, and Kidd Video?! The most manly cartoon in that list is Alvin and the Chipmunks and they wore dresses! Stop doing the math and trying to point out that I was fourteen or fifteen in 1986! Gummi Bears had one of the best cartoon theme songs (right after Ducktales)! I'm going to go listen to it right now! Joey and Adeline take Curt to Tokyo where they finally begin interrogating him. Even though he spent multiple days being tortured by the Quraci government, he wouldn't tell them a thing. He spends two minutes alone with Adeline and Joseph and he begins spilling the beans. The only threat they used was that Joey was going to put himself inside hi...oh. I see what he's afraid of! Dude, it's nothing to be frightened of! Just relax, man! Joseph's a sensitive poet. He'll definitely provide a reach-around. Joseph infiltrates Lord's secret base and discovers he's resurrecting H.I.V.E. (which stands for Hierarchy of International Vengeance and Extermination which is fucking stupid. Just spitballing for a few seconds and I already came up with a better one: Higher Institute of Violent Extremism!). Joseph's movements are described as catlike which is why he's noticed freaking the fuck out, bouncing off walls, and yowling at the top of his voice. Arthur Lord, leader of an organization full of soldiers who are only in the organization because they killed a bunch of other master fighters, decides to fight Joseph himself. His mighty warriors (the best of the best!) just stand around in robes watching.

What good is your invaluable edge if you're not going to use it?! Kill the little creep, you idiot!

Arthur Lord tackles Joseph straight through a wall where they both disappear from view. Then he emerges and he's all, "He's dead! And since Joseph can't control the host's talking, I must be myself and telling the truth! Ha ha ha!" But I know better! Remember how I already saw there's another issue in this stupid story arc? Joseph is totally still alive! And probably possessing Arthur! And probably able to speak because Arthur was knocked unconscious! Pshaw! Marv Wolfman, you need better twists! Arthur and H.I.V.E. take off from their secret base to go take over the world. And they won't need the base anymore for some reason, so they just blow up the island on the way out. Ugh, he's the worst kind of tenant. Teen Titans Spotlight #5: Jericho Rating: B-. So much betrayal! So many twists and turns! Not much fucking though. Which makes it a mediocre Teen Titans story. And yes, the B- factors in the fact that this whole conflict is, once again, somehow driven by family.

#Teen Titans Spotlight #Jericho #Teen Titans #DC Comics #DC

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shervonfakhimi · 5 years ago

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The Merciful End of the Lakers’ Coaching Search

Thank the heavens the Lakers’ coaching search finally ended. It ended on Saturday, settling on former Indiana Pacer and Orlando Magic head coach Frank Vogel, but not until after one candidate took the Phoenix Suns job (Monty Williams), another candidate said thanks but no thanks (Tyronn Lue) and a hilarious protest broke out in front of Staples Center. And this laughable search has not even arguably been the most incompetent of the Lakers’ offseason, with Magic Johnson dropping a bomb before anybody in the organization knew that he was resigning. Can Frank Vogel fix this?

Let’s start basketball wise before we get to the dysfunction around him. Frank Vogel has a stout defensive reputation, with his Indiana Pacers ranking 10th, 1st, 1st, 8th and 3rd in the top 10 in defensive efficiency during his time in Indianapolis, per NBA.com. Offensively, on the other hand, was a little more hard to find, as his Pacer teams in the bottom third of the league for the majority of his tenure as well. Things didn’t go as well in his Orlando tenure either. Granted, Vogel dealt with numerous games missed due to injuries from his primary players, but they ranked 24th and 25th in offensive efficiency during his Orlando stint. Most notably, however, Orlando finished 24th and 20th in defensive efficiency during his tenure there. With the way the 3 point shot turned former Pacer all star big man Roy Hibbert extinct and Vogel’s inability to adjust in Orlando, that renders questions as to whether or not Vogel’s scheme can mesh in today’s changed NBA climate. Certainly with time off, he can look inward and find his weaknesses and adjust. But when Indiana assistant/defensive coordinator Dan Burke could not follow Vogel to Orlando, where Vogel’s defense slipped while Indiana’s defense still remained near the top of the league, questions arise whether he can maintain that type of stellar defense elsewhere. Especially when Orlando’s defensive efficiency rose to the top 10 of the league (8th) under new coach Steve Clifford and Vogel will not be able to pick his own staff….

Which gets us right to the incompetence and clown show the Lakers front office has become. They have hired Jason Kidd to be a top assistant to Vogel on his staff. This looks to be a gross oversight when you consider how staunchly Milwaukee has improved this season as opposed to during Kidd’s tenure as the Bucks head coach, how Kidd’s previous two stints as a head coach ended with on the losing end of a power struggle trying to strangle more power under his control, the LeBron James dynamic and how much the organization seems to have wanted him. The Lakers tried to force Jason Kidd onto Tyronn Lue’s staff when those negotiations were going, which was reported that Lue wouldn’t mind having Kidd on his staff. But it does seem odd that the Lakers basically handpicked Kidd as the man for *a* job…. but not *the* job. Surely he will help in regards to developing the Lakers’ young players (an area where plenty of current Milwaukee Bucks credit him) and being the one to hold LeBron James accountable and garner the trust of him and the other players (something former Magic players felt Vogel could improve upon). That sounds great and all, but, when you consider Kidd’s past and the past regarding LeBron-led teams with coaches that don’t have the buy-in from both him and the front office (Erik Spoelstra vs David Blatt and Luke Walton), it is very hard to look at this dynamic and not think that Jason Kidd won’t somehow find a path to usurping Vogel as the lead voice in the locker room. So if that happens, then why exactly was Vogel hired to be the head coach in the first place?

Which then leads us to the front office. Jeanie Buss, Rob Pelinka, the Rambii and everyone else involved in the organization have botched the coaching search from the jump. Monty Williams was in the running among those who initially got interviewed, along with Tyronn Lue, Juwan Howard and Jason Kidd (who initially got interviewed as a favor for his agent, who just so happens to represent current Laker Brandon Ingram). Except it was reported Monty Williams never got an offer and knew that it was more likely the Lakers would pursue Lue, so he took the 5 years in Phoenix. So that led the Lakers to Lue, right? There was no way they could mess that up, right? (*this is where the narrator interjects with a soft but firm ‘wrong!’) The Lakers thought they had the leverage over Lue, seeing that Lue had no other offers, therefore trying to force Lue to accept their head coaching job on their terms. Their terms indicating that he only coach for 3 years around six million dollars per year, nowhere near that of a championship coach. But where they thought they had leverage on Lue, Tyronn Lue had leverage over them. He is still being paid by the Cleveland for two more years. He didn’t have to accept a job he didn’t want to take, and the terms and conditions the Lakers offered him. Optically, it didn’t look very favorable either that not only did they make him look to be ‘the guy that can coach LeBron,’ but also that they waited until Monty Williams took the Phoenix Job, making it seem like they ‘settled’ on Lue with no other options rather than actively seek Lue out and allow him to dictate his own terms. So he turned it down, and good for him.

This adds even more layers of questions to the Lakers front office. Why take on Frank Vogel? In part because he got the seal of approval of Kurt Rambis and Phil Jackson, who nearly hired Vogel during his tenure running the New York Knicks (because that went extremely well!). The same self-inflicted issues gnawing at the Lakers for years are continuing to rear its ugly head; their insistence on running to the past to seek counsel for the future has left the present in clear danger. Instead of seeking out the best at setting a culture and running a franchise (Bob Myers, Masai Ujiri, Daryl Morey, Sean Marks, R.C. Buford, etc.) or looking to those with front office experience but haven’t had their shot to run their show (Trajan Langdon, Michael Winger, Troy Weaver, newly minted Minnesota Timberwolves President of Basketball Operations Gerssan Rosas, etc.), the Lakers have settled on the idea of a former habitual line stepping agent who has run afoul of players, agents and front office personnel (the exact kind of people he needs to build sustainable relationships with!) and former Lakers who either have exactly zero experience in NBA front offices or minimal and unspectacular stints doing so. Part of why Vogel couldn’t find his footing in Orlando was the jumbled personnel his front office gave him. After the Lakers failed so spectacularly this summer and seemingly everybody still in tact outside of Magic Johnson so he can tweet gems like this again (though who am I to talk about tweeting), if Vogel couldn’t handle that, then how the heck can he handle this Laker job, especially if the Lakers don’t trade for Anthony Davis or acquire any type of secondary star to go to battle with LeBron James? The Lakers print money essentially, yet refuse to invest in it up top. They have every advantage imaginable over small market teams (location, a free agent destination, sustainable revenue), but penny pinch in the exact margin small market teams excel in.

This lack of direction in the present clouds the future as well. Throwing a laughable three year deal at Lue and then giving the same length of deal at Vogel indicates a lack of future plan. Sure, LeBron is under contract for only three more seasons (actually two plus a player option), but that doesn’t mean his impact can’t last farther than that. Instead of using LeBron as a bridge between winning now and building a sustainable culture that can last for far much longer, instead the Lakers looked for a coach seemingly just to ‘get through’ the LeBron years, as if he were a plague rather than arguably the greatest player in the world (which I still hold that he is, as awesome as Kevin Durant, Giannis Antetokounmpo, Kawhi Leonard, Steph Curry, etc. are). Building a lasting culture is hard, that’s why so few have done it. But the Lakers had an opportunity to hire a top notch coach and give them the leeway to build that culture with LeBron and then build onto it after he is gone with the young core of Brandon Ingram, Lonzo Ball, Kyle Kuzma, Josh Hart, Moritz Wagner, Isaac Bonga and their 4th overall pick in the 2019 NBA Draft. Perhaps Frank Vogel really is the man for the job. Maybe they don’t even plan to do that at all. Maybe to max out LeBron’s last window means to trade the young core, whether it is Anthony Davis or not, an idea I absolutely shutter at given the incompetent moves this front office has made the last two years. Because at every step of the turn, it looks the Lakers have no idea what they’re doing.

The Lakers had an opportunity (again) to hit the reset button after Magic Johnson resigned. There was the chance to use their plentiful resources to hire the best of the best to run the basketball organization. There was the chance to hire the best of the best to coach the team after Luke Walton got thrown under the bus. They did neither (because who needs competence!). It may not matter; sign a star free agent or trade for Anthony Davis (or Bradley Beal!) and there’s no disputing the Lakers will be right up the top of the NBA’s contending bunch yet again. Who knows, it still is possible. James and Davis didn’t wreck their teams’ seasons because they *didn’t* want to play with each other. It may be hard to play with LeBron James (just look at Rodney Hood and George Hill flourishing in new environments after having their fair share of struggles in Cleveland), but he still is a draw. Unfortunately for them, even if that were to occur (which seems unlikely, as of now), even more questions will arise about this coaching decision/dynamic can handle that spotlight or if the front office can give the right support around them. Again, maybe Frank Vogel is the man to piece this all together. In a vacuum, he is an perhaps an unspectacular, but solid hire. Maybe Rob Pelinka is the one to supply LeBron with all the right pieces. Maybe Jason Kidd really can develop the young core. Maybe Jeanie Buss does know what she in fact is doing. Maybe all of this will work out and be maintained for the future. Frank Vogel deserves a fair and honest shot to prove he is the man to dispel all the incompetence around him, and I’m willing to give him the chance to prove it. I am very skeptical, however, that will be the case and that this scenario doesn’t blow up in everyone’s faces. Hopefully I am wrong. Because hope is all I got.

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freaks309k · 6 years ago

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What I found interesting about Dustin Kidd book was that he explains the different privilege between males and females. Also, how women appear on tv and how males objectify them. ‘’Men can take for granted that when they turn on their televisions or open their books they will see people like themselves who are empowered and successful in a variety of possible life outcomes” (Kidd 140). I totally agree with this quote because, as men we tend to look at females differently when it comes to females being on top. Seeing successful makes men think that’s how it should be instead of a woman being in power. Men hardly think about females running their own company and being successful like men in today’s world. It just uncommon to see females being successful. That why I agree with that quote because I don’t want to believe that, but that’s all I see is males owning their companies instead of females. In the article “Male nerds think they’re victims because they have no clue what female nerds go through”, Laurie Penny says that “Men get to be whole people at all times. Women get to be object, or symbols, or alluring aliens whose response you have to game to “get” what you want”. She is saying that men get to control their sexual partner and will always have the last words.

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nbafanatical-blog · 7 years ago

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Sharing the Rock, PG’s, Determining the GOAT Dimer.

Picture this coach. Your team is down a point in crucial game 7 playoff match-up with a hated rival squad. There’s 14 left on the clock and the PG is trotting the ball down the court for one final play. The opponents center is weak on the hedge and the coach knows the defenses scheme is to switch. The wings clear out to the corners, your PF stands wide on the baseline. A high P&R is the call. Your center can hit the pop, but he’s sly, wiry, and quick on the roll. Your team has been hitting the open mid-range shot on the pick pretty effectively all night. The defense doesn’t have an answer and will most likely be reactive to the play, and as we all know, that split second of confusion is where the play happens. The pick comes, your PG hesitates for the perfect moment it’s set, the 5 plants his feet facing the bench. Your mighty floor general makes his move, rubbing his left shoulder against the pick setters right forearm leaving no room for the defender to dodge. The defense, predictably, is looking to switch. The center makes his move towards the basket, he’s rolling. Your PG breaks northeast, there’s a lane. Now here’s where my debate begins.

The conversation on the greatest passer of all time is a multifaceted debate. In the end it comes down to what you like to see. I grew up believing you make the smart pass, the efficient pass, the one that gets the ball where it’s supposed to be, without risking accuracy. This sets up the debate.

The System passer vs. The Flashy passer.

I don’t think you can pick the greatest passer without taking into account these two vastly different approaches to making a play. As I mentioned, it comes down to preference.

Let’s take a look at my type of PG, and that’s the System Passer. This is type that makes plays systematically (thanks Captain Obvious). To give a clear picture of what I call a System Passer, let’s look at a few examples. I’m looking at John Stockton, Cousy, Isiah Thomas, and Chris Paul. A few lesser known guys, Scott Skiles (I’m a Magic fan and watched this guy play as a kid), Mark Jackson, Kevin Johnson (my guy), Rod Strickland. I’m not saying these dudes NEVER made a flashy pass, they were more apt to make the efficient pass in a given situation. You knew, without question, they were going to hit their guy in the best possible spot, leaving him the highest probability to score the bucket. You’re comfortable with the minimized chances of error with the ball in these guys hands.

Now let’s look at the Flashy Passers. I’m thinking of Magic, Pistol, J-Will, GP, and Celtics Rondo. Guys today like Rubio and Teodosic have those elements of showmanship. Watching any of these guys is a practice of hope. Hoping that their flair for the dramatic and entertaining dish hits their guy in the mittens. You know certainly well it could just as easily break bad. When they do succeed, oh hell is it pretty. The marriage of efficiency and beauty in perfect harmony. These are the magicians, they see things without having to use their eyes, it’s just plain intuition and sorcery.

Now we have to look at the hybrids. It gets a little grey here, seeing that depending on just how far on the scale you think they sway, you could brand most great passers a hybrid. My example of a blend, a hybrid of system and flashy guys are Steve Nash and Jason Kidd. Both will make the smart pass when it’s necessary, and, both will flip you a no look dime when they see the opportunity. I absolutely loved watching these two play the game. I’m taking either one to run 99% of my offense, on a coin flip, doesn’t matter, I’m good with each guy. Nash had a way of watching the play develop. Playing within the flow of the 7 seconds scheme, hitting his man dependent on where, when, and how his teammate moved within the play. If he’s conducting an orchestra, you’re free to improv as you wish. When it’s time to bring it all together, Nash will time your re-entry into the crescendo like a master. J Kidd is more the structured maestro. He’s telling his guys to be where he expects them to be, and I’ll hit you with the epic, grand, and final note at the time it’s supposed to happen. Nash is Jazz, Kidd is Classical.

For my money, I’m taking John Stockton to make the game wining dish. I see a picture perfect pocket pass that splits the defenders at the ideal angle and speed. Nobody commanded the bounce pass like #12. NOBODY. It may not make it on anyone’s top 10 assists of the year, but it’ll damn sure be right where it’s supposed to be. Let’s just hope it’s not Ostertag on the receiving end, that changes EVERYTHING! Who’s running your play?

P.S. Guys I left out that I recognize as masters, Big O, Tiny Archibald, Mo Cheeks, Prime Penny, Lenny Wilkins, Mark Price, Tim Hardaway, The Logo, and many more

#nba #nba basketball #point guards #nbafanatical #espn #billsimmons

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cainsnocreaturefeature · 5 years ago

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Penny couldn’t recall the last time she’d felt so flustered.

How gently he held her hand as he led her to the center of the dance floor, all eyes on the two of them. There were whispers and murmurs floating from the various partygoers that her ears picked up on no matter how softly they’d been said, ranging from the curious - ‘Who is the lass with him?’ - to the awed - ‘Their outfits are so good... did they have someone design that for them?’ - and to the skeptical - ‘They’re really leaving the company in the hands of someone this young?’.

At the second, Penny giggled softly, her thoughts briefly drifting to Cindy. She was certain that if the other girl had heard their questions, she’d be preening like a peacock, eager to gather contacts and potential future clients.

“Penny...”

Oh, she thought numbly, her sensors refocusing on the young man right in front of her. How had she not noticed how close he’d gotten to her in the past few minutes?

As the music began, the hand that held hers lifted it up slightly, the other finding its way to the small of her back to support her. Her own hand went to drape itself over her shoulder as he slowly guided her into a waltz, matching each of her steps with his own.

She’d waltzed before, sometime around the time period where she distinctly remembered Monty fretting over what he would wear to match Carla’s attire for the recital for their PE classes. While those two had taken up tango, she’d been curious enough to take on waltz instead, Ted following not too far behind. She’d found herself frequently partnered with him for said classes even though they were technically supposed to swap partners every week until the recital, where they got to choose their partner. She never did question it, though - she enjoyed dancing with Theo, no matter what.

Right now was no exception.

He seemed nervous, though - even though it wasn’t outwardly obvious, she could tell that he was slightly nervous as they waltzed in the way he held himself, and in the way his lips were drawn into a fine line, his gaze mostly directed at the floor.

“Hey,” She said softly. “Theo.”

Ted looked up to meet her eyes, and in that moment Penny was struck by how blue his eyes were. She’d always known his eyes were blue, yes, but she’d never gotten the chance to look at them in this manner, in such an intimate setting. Like oceans, she could dare to get lost in them - but was she brave enough was the question?

“Don’t be nervous,” Penny whispered as they turned. Ted twirled her in place with one of his arms before allowing her arms to cross in front of her, holding her close to him. Her face was tilted up to his as she added, “It’s just me.”

Ted let out a stuttered sigh in response as they swayed from side to side, the music continuing to play softly in the background, but he said no words in response as Penny had hoped - but then again his silence was understandable. She understood the feeling of words escaping you, especially in situations like these.

It must be nerve-wracking, she thought, as he lead the way through the waltz. To be scrutinized like this from all angles by people far older than he is. To be judged by people he doesn’t even know for things he was just given.

Being his dearest friend for these past fifteen years had allowed her to see exactly how much he’d changed and grown from the kindergartener he’d been to the person he was today - she’d seen him adapt and be shaped by the people around him, seen him learn from his mistakes, and seen him carry a deeper burden than others she’d seen. She knew how heavily the weight of Applesoft heir hung above his head - how even though he’d grown into the role, he would never truly be able to come to terms with it.

Not when he remembered what he’d done to have the weight passed on to him.

Bravely, Penny lifted her free hand to pat his cheek as they danced, catching him by surprise and making him stiffen slightly at first. When he realized she wasn’t going to do anything else beyond it, however, he blinked down at her, curiosity shining in those beautiful blue eyes of his. He had such beautiful eyes. She didn’t understand any of these feelings that came with staring into his eyes at all... but she did know that for certain.

“It’s okay. I’m here,” She promised gently, smiling sweetly up at him. “You don’t need to be nervous of anything. I’ll be here.”

Ted’s eyes widened at her words as he bit his lip, seemingly unsure of what to say. Eventually, she heard him say something, so quiet and soft that she was sure she’d misheard it. “I’m not nervous. I’m... afraid.”

Penny frowned slightly as he twirled her again, returning them to their first position and continuing the dance. “Afraid of what?”

“Of... ruining things,” He admitted eventually. “Of... failing the expectations, laid out for me.” Oh, she could feel the vaguest of trembling in the hand that held hers as he spoke. Oh, Theo... “Failure is... not an option.”

“It’s okay to fail, you know. I told you this before, didn’t I?” Ted looked back up again at her at her words, meeting her gentle, determined gaze. “Human beings learn from their mistakes... that’s what makes them human. And I know I’m not as human as everyone else -” In response, her eyes glowed the faintest of happy greens. “ - but. I’d like to think I learn from my mistakes too, you know?” She smiled at him. “It goes doubly the same for you.”

“...”

“You are more human than I, Theo - and human beings will always continue to learn and change,” Penny finished, letting her hand drop back onto his shoulder. “And even if you weren’t, you still have the opportunity to change and learn from where you fail. Don’t forget that, okay?”

Ted stared at her for what seemed to be a painfully long amount of time as they danced, a contemplative look on his face after her mini speech. The intensity of his gaze made her blush slightly, but she kept eye contact - eye contact always made sure your words were more true than that of a liar’s, she’d learned. And she only told him the truth.

“... You’re more human than all of us,” was Ted’s eventual admission after a few minutes, gaze drifting slightly downwards before meeting her gaze once more. “... Applesoft thanks you for your service.”

Penny laughed - a soft laugh reminiscent of windchimes on a spring day. “Thanks, Theo. You’re sweet.”

(Had she been in the mind of her partner in that moment, she would have only felt the budding warmth in his cold chest at the sound of her laugh, at the warmth of her smile, and felt the traitorous ‘why?’ bouncing in his mind reacting to what she was making him feel in that moment.)

Ted leaned forward and downward slightly, catching her off guard as his lips brushed against her cheek. When he drew back, even he seemed surprised by what he had done, for his eyes were wide and his cheeks too appeared to be reddening slightly.

“... Sorry,” He immediately muttered, only for Penny to shake her head. “...?”

“Don’t be sorry for that. After all, we’re friends,” She smiled bashfully. “And I did the same to you anyway before the ball. You can kiss my cheek all you’d like if I can kiss yours.”

The first smile of the night from Ted crossed his face, and Penny thought that she might dance on air.

-=-=-

“Are you sure your brain didn’t get scrambled while you got knocked out?” Carla quickly tapped her knuckles on Ted’s forehead. “Because I’m pretty sure you just said Felix.”

“He’s dead, Ted,” Monty muttered.

Ted looked up at them desperately, his hands still clutching his arms like a lifeline. “I’m... I’m sure of it. Felix was the one who knocked me out. I’d know his eyes anywhere, they were - they were as red as I remembered them and I know him and- I think I’d know my own brother. I’d know Felix.” He drew in on himself, eyes gazing at the ground. “... I thought I killed him...”

“You almost did,” Kidd’s words made the other three look at him. His mouth was twisted into a frown as he explained, “And normally you would have definitely killed him. Normally. It’s happened before.”

Carla and Ted stared at Kidd while Monty’s brows rose to his hairline. It was Carla who spoke first, however. “What do you mean, it’s happened before?”

“I don’t have the time to explain it in full right now, but... let’s just say you died in Monty’s arms at least once tonight, Ted,” Kidd shoved his hands into his pockets. “Died of blood loss and a mask to the heart, cutting off major arteries and veins. The blow Felix dealt you hadn’t been enough to kill you immediately, so you were bleeding slowly to death, unconscious and alone until we came.”

Ted’s eyes were as wide as saucers. “W-wha-”

“Alice died before. Alice has died once before, recently, when she came over to my house to check up on me,” The three perked up, recognizing what he was saying - they’d known Alice had gone to check on him, that was an event they recognized. “Someone had shot at her with lasers like the ones Penny had as a child, and I hadn’t stopped it in time.”

“Stopped it?” Monty asked. “And wait... you said Alice died. But she was at the party earlier with Ron, right? We- we saw her!”

Here comes the clincher. “Alice died before. When she did, I reset. I stopped her death before it could happen again. I did the same thing here for Ted - the moment he died, I reset. I dragged you and Carla over here much faster to stop him from losing too much blood.”

The silence that blanketed the little group was heavy at his words.

“... Lasers like Penny’s? You mean...” Monty ran through the possibilities in his head before deducing, “You mean like. Eye lasers? Exactly the same ones?”

“Yes. I’ve been killed enough times by them to know how they work,” Unconsciously, Kidd reached over to trace one of the many scars that littered his body with a finger. “And prior to that, Alice had followed a red eyed stranger to my house. Not my mother. And we only know of one other person with red eyes.”

“Felix,” Ted breathed. In fear? Not even he was sure.

Carla frowned. “I still don’t get how you’re all so sure that it was Felix. No offense, Ted, but you said you killed him by shoving him into the hole. Kidd was witness. Buggs was witness, if what you guys are saying means anything. Nugget was witness, you said he beat him up first before crawling out!”

“It wasn’t supposed to end like that. I’m telling you I looped - I loop, over and over and over again, trying to change something, trying to learn from a previous loop - and that loop wasn’t supposed to happen. Something glitched,“ And here Kidd made a gesture with his hands. “And the glitch locked us into this timeline. Locked me into the final event where Ron, Madison, and Alice were rescued in the first place - without Felix alive.”

“I still don’t get this looping thing, but if I’m understanding you correctly,” Monty closed his eyes in thought. “This could possibly be the universe correcting the glitch in a terrible way - bringing Felix back from the dead as a vengeful ghost, or a zombie.”

“Or an android reconstructed by someone else who was meant to die... but didn’t.”

That elicited a reaction from everyone.

Carla’s eyes narrowed considerably. “You said she was dead.”

Monty was a staircase away from becoming hysterical. “No fucking way. No fucking way is she alive. She- Penny- she’s really-”

Ted’s eyes couldn’t possibly get any wider. “Are you saying she turned my brother into a-”

“Yes, yes, and yes, and that means we need to get back there right now before anything bad happens,” Kidd stood up, dusting himself off before holding out a hand to Ted, who took it and shakily stood himself up. “Because if he managed to lure Ted in disguised as Penny, and knocked him out...”

Ted’s blood ran cold. “He’s... he’s going after Penny next.”

“We have to go. Now.” Monty’s eyes had turned dangerously stormy at the idea of his sister being a target.. “Ted, I’m going to have to ask your permission for us to set this hedge maze on fire.”

Carla raised an eyebrow. “And you guys said I couldn’t set it on fire earlier.”

“Well that was before. Now, it’s personal. That is my sister.”

“I have a better idea,” Carla laughed before tapping on the side of Monty’s legs, feeling for something.

Ted peered down at her curiously. “... What are you doing?”

“Monty, you told me you had prototypes for the rocket boosters already, didn’t you?” Carla looked up at her partner as her hand continued to search.

Beat.

Monty frowned. “No way.”

“Yes fucking way, Montgomery.”

“You, madame, are going to get us killed.”

“Yeah? But it’s the fastest way.”

“We are going to die. This thing is literally untested.”

“Weren’t you the one who said that it got personal because Penny was the next target? Don’t you want to get there fast?”

“Touche.”

Carla looked up at Ted and Kidd as she used one hand to hook Monty’s arm around her waist. “You guys might want to hang on to Monty right now.”

“... Wait. Rocket boosters on the-” Ted suddenly realized that maybe, maybe this was a bad idea.

Kidd groaned audibly. This was definitely going to result in a few deaths and resets. He could feel it. “Monty isn’t strong enough to carry all of us in midair.”

“Well, unless you gringos have any better ideas, right now it’s the best shot we’ve g-”

Carla’s fingers found the right button.

With a shriek, the four of them went careening straight through the hedge maze itself, leaving them-shaped holes in the walls, and into one of the nearby potted trees by the entrance to the ballroom.

“... Test drive one, failed. Weight capacity... three idiots,” Monty declared from where he was hanging upside down from one of the branches, mask askew.

Carla hooked her leg around a branch and upturned herself before dropping down on the ground. “Well. At least we made it faster than if we’d taken the time to run through the maze itself.”

“... Ted?”

The four of them turned their heads.

Standing nearby was Cindy, who was staring up at them incredulously, her mask in her hands. By her side, much to their surprise, was Buggs, his mask also in his hands. Tucked in Cindy’s hair was the rose Billy had given Buggs to give to Cindy instead.

“... You look terrible,” Buggs commented. “No offense. Why are you guys in a tree?”

“Carla,” the three boys responded in a deadpan.

Carla harrumphed. “Ungrateful bastards.”

“Well, either way... weren’t you supposed to be dancing with Penny a few minutes ago? They just announced the final dance of the night,” Buggs jerked a thumb towards the ballroom entrance.

Cindy frowned. “We left the ballroom with Ted dancing with Penny though. But Ted’s here.”

“No,” Ted whispered, dread filling his chest.

Though they couldn’t see it, the look on Kidd’s face darkened. “Felix.”

“Felix?” At the mention of the name, Cindy seemed to stiffen.

“Long story, but Felix is alive now, I guess?” Carla shrugged. “Or has been alive for years and only surfaced now- it’s a long story.”

Monty sighed. “Either way, we don’t have time for this, my sister’s in there dancing with- TED, WAIT-”

The group turned to see that Ted had already darted for the entrance, single-minded in his thought process as the Huxley heir in red burst through the ballroom doors, howling out only one name that mattered.

“PENNY!”

God. Fucking. Damn it.

Kidd groaned, burying his face into his hands. Why did his friends have to make things so much more difficult for him by being so dramatic?

#kindergarten #kindergarten game #kindergarten 2 #cain's no creature feature au #ii: the lord in blue #cncf answered #cncf queue

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giantsfootball0 · 7 years ago

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The worst superstar breakups in the NBA in the past 30 years

For three years, LeBron James and Kyrie Irving were a dynamic duo for the Cleveland Cavaliers, teaming up to make three consecutive trips to the NBA Finals and winning a title together in 2016. Then it all came crashing down when Irving asked out of Cleveland, possibly to get out from under James’ shadow — though if history is any indication, we won’t know all the reasons Irving left until years or decades down the line.

The James-Irving breakup is far from the first, and it won’t be the last. In fact, messy endings have become something of a staple of the NBA over the years. Fresh off Irving’s attempt on First Take to explain how things ended in Cleveland, we look back at some of the worst NBA breakups of the past three decades.

Isiah Thomas and Adrian Dantley (1989 Pistons)

After losing the 1988 NBA Finals in seven games to the Lakers, Pistons general manager Jack McCloskey traded forward Adrian Dantley, the Pistons’ leading scorer, for Mavericks misfit Mark Aguirre and a 1991 first-round pick. Dantley blamed Pistons star Isiah Thomas — even as teammates, they were seen as rivals — for the trade that brought Thomas’ Chicago buddy to Detroit. The “Bad Boy” Pistons won back-to-back titles after Dantley left. In 2014, Dantley called Thomas a “con man” during a radio interview with Detroit Sports 105.1. — Marc J. Spears

Shaquille O’Neal and Anfernee Hardaway (1996 Magic)Andrew D. Bernstein/NBA/Getty Images

This breakup seems so juvenile in retrospect. Shaq and Penny beefed over who was the bigger star? Who could sell more shoes? Who had more power in Orlando? Those hardly seem like good reasons to derail a potential dynasty. Now, people conveniently forget that Orlando bungled the negotiations with O’Neal before he bolted for the Lakers in 1996. Or that O’Neal yearned to play in L.A. Those were equally important reasons for the breakup, if not more important. Either way, Shaq’s departure — which Penny learned about while they were sharing a podium at a pre-Olympics news conference — was a seismic event in the NBA that still reverberates. — Ramona Shelburne

Jim Jackson, Jason Kidd and Jamal Mashburn (1997 Mavericks)

During a revealing interview on First Take, the former Cavaliers star detailed the motives behind his trade request that shocked the NBA this summer.

Kevin Durant says NBA trade requests occur routinely behind the scenes without anyone knowing and that he isn’t surprised by the developments of Kyrie Irving wanting out of Cleveland.

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It’s one of the juiciest NBA breakup rumors of all time and is often discussed like it’s an unsolved mystery from the ’90s — did Toni Braxton break up the Three J’s? Jason Kidd, Jim Jackson and Jamal Mashburn were a trio of budding stars only to be broken up after less than three seasons together. Egos got in the way, and rumor had it that a love triangle involving Braxton created a Texas-sized rift in the locker room between Kidd and Jackson, who would go weeks without talking.

The two repeatedly denied the rumor over the years and noted that it didn’t hurt Braxton’s record sales. “[Braxton] didn’t full-out deny it, and she kind of played it up because her album was coming out,” Kidd said in 2002. “I’ve never met her. But those type of things hurt a young team. We didn’t know how to handle it.” Mavs fans were singing “Unbreak My Heart” until Kidd returned and helped Dirk Nowitzki win a title in 2011. — Ohm Youngmisuk

Kevin Garnett and Stephon Marbury (1999 Timberwolves)

This breakup can largely be blamed on the 1998-99 lockout, or at least the collective bargaining agreement that ended it. Because of the new max salary limits, Marbury found himself in a situation where he’d never be paid as much as Garnett — who’d signed his big contract before the lockout. As former teammate Tom Gugliotta told Jackie MacMullan a couple of years ago, “If you ask Steph, I’m sure he’s the one kicking himself a bit. No matter what Steph did — he could score 25, 30 points — he still wasn’t going to be the best player on our team. That was KG.” It wasn’t long after the lockout ended that Marbury got his wish. He was traded to New Jersey just 18 games into the shortened season. — Adam Reisinger

Michael Jordan and the Wizards organization (2003 Wizards)Heather Hall/AFP/Getty Images

Michael Jordan arrived in D.C. in a splendid suit with the nation’s capital buzzing over His Airness taking over as Wizards president of basketball operations in 2000. But three-and-a-half seasons later, Jordan pulled out of the Wizards’ arena parking garage in his Mercedes convertible seething after being fired by owner Abe Pollin. Despite coming out of retirement and trying to turn the Wizards around himself for two seasons as a player and executive, a 40-year-old Jordan sold plenty of tickets but couldn’t get the franchise to the playoffs. Expecting to return to the front office full-time after retiring again, Jordan was fired after Pollin saw dissension within the organization and unhappy players. The owner told Jordan he was going in a different direction in a short but heated meeting. Jordan told “60 Minutes” he felt “used.”

In her self-published memoir, Irene Pollin detailed the breakup between Jordan and her husband — two competitive men who once famously argued at a players-owners labor negotiation. “This was not what Michael expected. He was shocked,” wrote Irene Pollin. “What followed was a heated discussion of what had and had not been promised. But after Abe repeated his decision ‘to go in a different direction,’ Michael lost it. He became very angry and began shouting. At that point, Abe walked out of the room as Michael called him several unflattering names. Michael stormed out of the room, went down to the parking garage, jumped into his Mercedes convertible with Illinois license plates, took the top down, and drove directly back to Chicago.” — Ohm Youngmisuk

Shaquille O’Neal and Kobe Bryant (2004 Lakers)Vince Bucci/AFP/Getty Images

There’s been a lot of making up in the years since this breakup, starting when they shared MVP honors at the 2009 All-Star Game in Phoenix. To hear Shaq tell it now, the whole feud was “all marketing.” But make no mistake, their animosity was very real before their breakup and afterward. Shaq said everything that ever needed to be said in that infamous freestyle rap heard round the world. You know the one: “Kobe, how my ass taste?” Meanwhile, Kobe showed his cards only after the Lakers won two more championships, and he admitted he was driven to win more titles than Shaq. — Ramona Shelburne

Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett/Paul Pierce (2012 Celtics)Fernando Medina/NBAE/Getty Images

It’s hard for players now to secure a place in the deep Boston Celtics lore, but Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen did earn their spot in Celtics history by winning the 2008 NBA title as the Big Three. The Ubuntu feeling that Pierce, Garnett, Allen and guard Rajon Rondo enjoyed, however, ended in 2012 when Allen departed to the rival Miami Heat without notice. Despite a lengthy cold shoulder, Pierce and Allen have recently reconciled. Will Garnett and Rondo follow suit by the time the Celtics celebrate their 10-year title anniversary? — Marc J. Spears.

Dwight Howard and Kobe Bryant (2013 Lakers)Andrew D. Bernstein/NBAE/Getty Images

This time Bryant was the jilted superstar after Dwight Howard chose to leave the Lakers to sign with the Houston Rockets. Bryant unfollowed Howard on Twitter and then posted a photo of himself and Pau Gasol on Instagram with the hashtags, #vamos #juntos #lakercorazon #vino. Translation: let’s go, together, Laker heart and Vino (the nickname Kobe gave himself that season as he nearly won a scoring title at age 36 before tearing his Achilles’ tendon. — Ramona Shelburne

Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook (2016 Thunder)Kelvin Kuo/USA TODAY Sports

This breakup has probably been the messiest since Shaq and Kobe. First, there was Westbrook’s infamous cupcake Instagram post after Durant bolted for the Golden State Warriors (and its obvious tie-back to Durant). Then, Westbrook showed up at Golden State’s Oracle Arena in a photographer’s vest (a passive-aggressive shot at Durant’s day as a photographer for The Players’ Tribune). Durant and his teammates responded to the cupcake photo — and cupcake shirts worn by OKC fans — by wearing those shirts after Durant’s first game back in OKC. For an extra bit of frosting, Durant had one of his signature shoes dubbed “Red Velvet.” Of course, things went to a new level this week when Durant responded to a fan’s tweet with a negative post on Thunder coach Billy Donovan and the entire organization. He’s since apologized, but obviously this isn’t over. — Ramona Shelburne

Carmelo Anthony and Phil Jackson (2017 Knicks)Robert Sabo/NY Daily News/Getty Images

This relationship got off to a rocky start when Jackson said in 2014 that he “wasn’t losing any sleep” over the possibility of Anthony leaving New York in free agency. And things only got worse from there. Jackson openly discussed trading Anthony in June. His issue, in part, was Anthony’s failure to adapt to Jackson’s desired system. Phil was fired before he had the chance to move Carmelo. Melo, of course, is still in New York. But his future in the city is uncertain at best. — Ian Begley

LeBron James and Kyrie Irving (2017 Cavaliers)AP Photo/Jae C. Hong

The only thing certain about Kyrie Irving’s decision to ask for a trade out of Cleveland is that the only person who truly understands why he wanted it is Kyrie Irving. He took the first step at explaining his motivation Monday on First Take, but the most memorable part of the interview was Irving’s admission that he has yet to speak to LeBron about it. For his part, LeBron has mostly stayed above it. His only subtweet so far was an Instagram post that showed him singing along to a Meek Mill song with lyrics that allude to betrayal. — Ramona Shelburne

The post The worst superstar breakups in the NBA in the past 30 years appeared first on Daily Star Sports.

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