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mousedetective · 2 months

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URGENT! Please Help A Homeless, Disabled & Mostly Queer Family Get Ready For Housing By Helping With Paying For Much-Needed Loans!

PAYPAL | AMAZON WISHLIST | KOFI | GOFUNDME

VENMO: @penaltywaltz | CASHAPP: $afteriwake23 | ZELLE: DM me for email address

4/29/24 - New Post

So some stuff has happened, some of the loans I listed before have been paid, and I missed a few things, so I'm making a new post!

So, we still haven't heard about Section 8, and while I'm grateful for the shelter housing and feeding us, there's been some pretty toxic activity on my floor and I'm at my wit's end. I'm not sleeping well, I have constant headaches from grinding my teeth, and my blood pressure (which is already high and I'm already on meds for it) keeps being high when I get it checked. So we need to get housing with or without the Section 8 voucher as soon as possible.

Now, I have a list of low-income apartments all over North County. While not ideal, we have also heard of a complex of studio apartments available for $1400 which give preferential treatment to shelter occupants. But the problem is that I not only have a bunch of payday loans to pay, but I also have a payment on a two-month loan, a five-month loan, a six-month loan, and a year-long loan that eat up my entire income until I at least pay off the first three. My mom only gets $1300 and my daughter isn't on disability yet. So we can't even afford the studio until October and we'll have been kicked out of the shelter long before then.

I can probably cover the remaining payday loans and this month's payment for the two-month loan and still pay for the storage units. But I need to pay off whatever I can on the other loans, and the longer I wait the more interest that compiles. So I need a lot more than I was asking for before and I need it quickly to cover at least all of this month's payments while I work on paying off the totals of the bigger loans.

This is the list of payments I need to make as it stands now:

$300 for my loan from Ace Cash Express (due by May 2nd)

$300 for my mom's loan from Ace Cash Express (due May 2nd)

$408 for my loan payment from Ascend Loans (due May 3rd)

$277 for my loan payment from Greenline Loans (due May 3rd)

$177 for my loan payment from Green Arrow Loans (due May 3rd)

$148 for my loan payment to Possible Loans (due May 3rd)

$148 for my mom's loan payment to Possible Loans (due May 3rd)

$321.80 for my mom's loan from Moneylion (due by May 15th)

$285 for my Moneytree loan (due by May 25th)

$285 for my mom's Moneytree loan (due by May 26th)

I can't make partial payments on any of these loans except the Moneylion loans my mom has. I need the full amount for the payment to pay it off early, and for the four non-payday loans, I can't make an early payment but if I can cover the payments in my bank account with donations I'm good.

The Ascend loan was for $1,000. The Greenline loan was for $500. The Green Arrow loan was for $400. The Possible loans are $300 each, coming out as two payments of $148 (one this May, one in June) per loan. So I'm going to set two goals: covering all of the above payments and then covering the bigger loans as a whole throughout the month of May.

I can't take much more of the toxicity at the shelter at the moment, though I have hopes some of it will subside if the most toxic resident on my floor leaves this week like he's threatening to, but yeah. We just need to get all this paid off and get into housing of our own, even if it's just a studio for now. I'm including the $35 I got from a GFM towards the current totals because I spent all the rest of the money I had and I still haven't gotten that donation in my account yet.

TOTAL GOAL: $47/$4850

IMMEDIATE GOAL: $47/$2650

Goal has been met! However, the car is acting up, so we have to take it to our mechanic tomorrow. I may still need some help.

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seat-safety-switch · 4 months

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You gotta support your local small businesses. In my part of the world, those community-owned corporations are mostly payday loan places and dealers selling new kinds of just-barely-legal, get-them-while-they-last convenience store research chemicals. Oh, and hot tub streamers, but that's very seasonal.

Recently, the media has noticed the fact that nobody can afford to live on one job. They recommend that you instead turn your spare time into a second, worse job. Experts are coming on, talking about where all the opportunities are in arbitrage, which is a fancy word for "buying shit cheaply and then selling it for more money."

As a result, there's dozens of folks scouring the flea markets and classifieds, looking for car parts to resell to make a little bit of extra cash. That gets in the way of my ambition, which is to obtain a lot of car parts for very little money, never sell them on, and perhaps be buried with them like a pharoah of old.

Recently, I got into a bit of a scrap with a dude who was trying to scavenge the entire interior of a '69 International Travelall when I was in the area. I thought it was beautiful art and was excited to meet a new friend, but it turned out he was merely a capitalist with no love of the beauty that the thirteen-letter shit spreader corporation bestowed upon the world.

This state of affairs means I gotta get to the junkyard early, on new-cars day, so I can scoop up as much crap as possible. That precludes me from having a real job, which is not so much a schedule conflict as a confluence: I don't want to work for a living either. Don't worry, though. I've figured out a way to keep my parole officer off my back. All I have to do is sell the parts to myself, for imaginary money, and write it down. Voila, it's income, and income that's been legitimized by the "hustle culture." It's not fraud if it's written on a spreadsheet.

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gatheringbones · 1 year

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[“Herself a landlord, Karen paid attention to how someone looked at her unit. This point was repeated in the thick training manual landlords received at registration: “Do they check out each room?…Do they mentally visualize where the furniture will go, which room the children will sleep in, or how they’ll make best use of the kitchen layout? Or do they barely walk in the front door before asking to rent, showing a surprising lack of interest in the details? People who make an honest living care about their home and often show it in the way they look at the unit. Some who rent for illegal operations forget to pretend they have the same interest.”

The small act of screening could have big consequences. From thousands of yes/no decisions emerged a geography of advantage and disadvantage that characterized the modern American city: good schools and failing ones, safe streets and dangerous ones. Landlords were major players in distributing the spoils. They decided who got to live where. And their screening practices (or lack thereof) revealed why crime and gang activity or an area’s civic engagement and its spirit of neighborliness could vary drastically from one block to the next. They also helped explain why on the same block in the same low-income neighborhood, one apartment complex but not another became familiar to the police.

Screening practices that banned criminality and poverty in the same stroke drew poor families shoulder to shoulder with drug dealers, sex offenders, and other lawbreakers in places with lenient requirements. Neighborhoods marred by high poverty and crime were that way not only because poverty could incite crime, and crime could invite poverty, but also because the techniques landlords used to “keep illegal and destructive activity out of rental property” kept poverty out as well. This also meant that violence, drug activity, deep poverty, and other social problems coalesced at a much smaller, more acute level than the neighborhood. They gathered at the same address.

For people familiar with hunger and scarcity, addiction and prison, that often meant being isolated from job networks and exposed to vice and violence. But it also meant people could air problems; swap food, clothes, and information; and finish one another’s sentences about lousy jobs or social workers or prison (“They put gravy—”…“On everything!”). It meant that, should they be in the early stages of opiate withdrawal, they could take a walk around their trailer park to calm the shakes and run into a fellow junkie who could give them what they needed.

Some landlords neglected to screen tenants for the same reason payday lenders offered unsecured, high-interest loans to families with unpaid debt or lousy credit; for the same reason that the subprime industry gave mortgages to people who could not afford them; for the same reason Rent-A-Center allowed you to take home a new Hisense air conditioner or Klaussner “Lazarus” reclining sofa without running a credit check. There was a business model at the bottom of every market.”]

matthew desmond, from evicted: poverty and profit in the american city, 2016

#matthew desmond #history stuff #currently reading

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ukrfeminism · 2 years

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3 minute read

TW: domestic violence

The cost of living crisis is forcing victims of domestic abuse to remain with their abusers, charities have warned, while refuges are struggling to stay open amid spiralling energy bills.

Across England and Wales, more than two million people experience domestic abuse each year. Now a Women's Aid survey of victims found that, in two thirds of cases, abusers are using the cost of living crisis and concerns about financial hardship as a tool of coercive control, including to justify further restricting access to money.

One survivor said: “I feel like my only option to keep my kids is to go back to my marital home, where he nearly killed me.”

Lizzy Dobres, policy and practice manager for Women’s Aid, told the Telegraph that the cost of living crisis is having a “devastating impact on survivors of domestic abuse”.

“It’s heartbreaking,” she said. “If women can’t afford to heat their own homes, how can they leave with their children?”

Ms Dobres added that women’s refuges have not received the energy rebate, and many of these centres – which can be lifesaving for those fleeing violence – cannot afford spiralling energy bills.

“We’re getting emails from centres who can’t afford the energy bills,” she said. “One service said last week they had to provide a wellbeing table of food for the staff, it’s beyond belief.”

The research also found that 73 per cent of victims said they are scared to leave their abusive home because of fears over finance.

Ruth Davison, the chief executive officer at Refuge, the largest specialist domestic abuse organisation in the UK, said that the degree to which frontline staff are hearing women are balancing the danger of living with their perpetrator and the struggle of managing alone is “staggering”.

Deanna*, a survivor of domestic abuse that lasted three years, spoke to The Telegraph about the impact economic abuse had on her.

Deanna said she had a very privileged upbringing, with a close support network of family and friends. She attended good schools and studied at Manchester University. Shortly after graduating, she met her now ex-partner, who was working in London.

Her abuser tore at her close relationships, cutting her off from her family and making her delete all men – including her brother and father – from her phone. He then quit his job and forced Deanna to fully fund their lives.

“Because of money we had to move gradually further and further out of London [and away from her family], I was paying for both of our lives, bills, food. I sold all my belongings, gifts from my 18th birthday, and DVDs to sell food. We had no electricity, no hot water,” she said. “I didn’t see friends or family at all. It was a very lonely and solitary life.”

Deanna’s abuser demanded access to her cards and forced her to be a guarantor on his payday loans, putting her in thousands of pounds of debt.

“He made me be a guarantor [for payday loans], knowing he would never repay it,” she said. “There’s very little safeguarding women financially.”

Refuge said that 92 per cent of its frontline workers reported that the cost of living crisis is pushing survivors into debt or further into debt.

Deanna said she was not allowed to ask her abuser about his own financial situation, and that any manner of question could provoke a rage.

“I woke up every day terrified, and terrified not knowing what to expect that day, not knowing what version of him I was going to get,” she said.

“[The violence] started with a push, a shove, hands around my throat. He drew blood on my neck where had his nails in my throat. That first instance I locked myself in the bathroom and slept on the bathroom floor. It got worse and worse. The worst act of violence left me with permanent nerve damage.”

Deanna said that the economic abuse was the most debilitating part of their relationship.

“The physical violence was the least worst of everything. What he did to me psychologically and emotionally was crippling,” she said. “Money was the most debilitating thing in that whole situation.”

Expressing fears about how the cost of living crisis could impact other women in her position, Deanna said: “The cost of living crisis is utterly fatal.”

Women’s Aid is calling on the government for an emergency domestic abuse fund to help survivors pay for essential items and energy bills.

Refuge said it supports the call for an emergency fund to be put in place for survivors of domestic abuse, and for the £20 Universal Credit uplift to be reintroduced for all claimants.

Ms Dobres cautioned that the survey was conducted shortly before the recent increased energy cap – which could see the average household paying £3,549 annually. “We’re very worried about what this means going into winter,” she said.

*Deanna’s name has been changed for her safety

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shiorimakibawrites · 8 months

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Battlin' Jack Murdock Rant

Possible unpopular opinion here but something I think people need to cut Jack some slack on is the Matt doing his stitches thing.

Now I'm not saying that it is a good thing that Matt was sewing up his dad's face. But I am saying that Jack might not many other options.

But What about the hospital? Or Urgent Care? Or a clinic? I hear you ask.

Well, do you know what those things require? Money. You know what Jack didn't have a lot of? That's right. Money.

You know what else he probably didn't have? Health insurance.

So yes, he could have got to the ER, waited for hours since his injuries are not life-threatening, gotten professional medical attention, and a bill that he cannot pay. Yes, eventually the hospital will write it off. But in the meantime, it's sitting on his credit report, dragging it down even further.

Assuming the hospital doesn't turn him away for not being able to pay them. Which, since his injuries aren't life-threatening, they can do. Law only says they have to treat you if you are dying. Which is why people without insurance or money don't go the hospital or even the doctor until it gets that bad.

Yes, there might have low-cost clinics with a slide scale that maybe he could afford. But they might not have stuff for stitches because that's not where people go for that stuff. Or aren't open when his bouts get done so waiting until morning. Or even the adjusted payment is still out of his budget.

Yes, maybe he and Matt qualified for Medicaid. But maybe Jack couldn't figure out how navigate all of the red tape. Or maybe he tried and they were rejected. Maybe they were in that uncomfortable zone where you don't make enough to cover everything but you make too money to qualify for food stamps and other social welfare programs.

I've been in that zone. It's not fun. It usually means you end up putting things like paying your rent and getting enough food above going to the doctor for any reason.

The only legal short-term loans he might have been able to get to cover an extra expense like that are payday loan places. Assuming they considered boxing (and whatever else he might done to make ends met) regular employment. Which they probably didn't.

Even if they did, the interest rates on those loans are truly outrageous. And a lot of those companies (especially prior to 2008) could some things to make your situation worse. Like keep hitting re-sent on the check after they got an insufficient funds bounce from the bank so you get a bunch of overdraft fees. (Currently, they can only do this twice before they have to stop. But they have also been fighting this and similar regulations since they were put in place).

Just saying that sometimes you don't have good options. You only have bad ones. So you pick the least bad one or the one you can live with.

Just saying that Jack Murdock was doing his best in a bad situation. He was trying to be a good dad to Matt. Maybe cut him a little slack.

#daredevil #meta #rant post #battlin jack murdock #being poor #matt murdock

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classicquid · 1 month

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mousedetective · 4 months

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Please Help A Mostly Queer/Disabled Homeless Family Pay Off Their Debt?

PAYPAL | AMAZON WISHLIST | KOFI | GOFUNDME

VENMO: @penaltywaltz | CASHAPP: $afteriwake23 | ZELLE: DM me for email address

03/05/24

So good news! We're in a 30-day shelter with a caseworker and help from the City of Encinitas Homeless Support Program to get housing with 30 days. It's a brand new shelter and we're all together in a room with the cats, and they're really eager to help get us out of our homeless situation.

Right now, we have about $1000 in money we can save up each month. If we can pay off the debts that my mom owes that she's in credit consolidation for, that frees up another $187 each month. If I can pay off my installment loan, which is four payments totaling $475, that frees up another $124 a month. I think my mom just paid off a credit card debt, but we have $100 debt that I think has gone to collections, $500 we need to pay on a card before that one goes to collections, and $300 for my PayPal 4 in 4 payments. We also have two payday loans I'd like to pay off before they're due at $600.

So if I can cover all that debt this month, we'll have well over $1,500 to put towards a rental payment in May, if we can get help with a security deposit and first month's rent through housing programs. We might be able to afford a two bedroom apartment in Fallbrook with that much. We'd need to come up with money to move our stuff out of storage as well, but a friend of mine has covered the big units until April 1st and may cover them an extra month if needed.

Any help would be amazing. We are so close to getting out of hotels/our car and into something stable. I'm setting the goal at $3000 for now because I don't have wifi at the shelter and can't check exactly how much my mom owes for her debt consolidation still.

But any extra will help with gas to get to places where we can get things we need (birth certificates, Lena's social security card with her dead name, Lena's psych eval, my mom's dental stuff, and doctor/therapy appointments) and food in case the snafu with my food stamps isn't fixed right away (we get three meals here, which is fine for me and Lena, but my mom is basically still on a soft food/liquid diet and they're still needing to get stuff for her and the gentleman here who has no teeth).

Please help if you can, and please reblog as well! We would all greatly appreciate it.

$2500/$5000

EDIT: We found out today that Lena is currently uninsured. The meds she was prescribed for her mood disorder are $1,500 out of pocket. She needs the medication badly. Please help?

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paydayquid · 3 months

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beelzebby666 · 6 months

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don't be stupid like me and use payday loans, kids!! i'm stuck in an endless loop till I can afford to just eat an entire paycheck now.

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capitalism-and-analytics · 7 months

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I don’t know if you’ve ever had experience with this, but my sister borrowed money from a payday loan center for a high interest rate and she’s unable to make the full payment so the interest keeps piling up. She’s asked me for help since I can pay it off for her, but she just doesn’t understand that I can’t always bail her out. This isn’t the first time something like this happened. Last year she tanked her credit score because she thought that credit cards were free money. What do you think I should do?

Fortunately, my younger sister never attempted the payday loans or screwed up using credit cards, so I have not had to deal with those situations specifically.

Unfortunately, she has done something quite similar with signing up for one of those "Buy Now, Pay Later" payment plans, which is effectively a credit card without the plastic.

------------------------------------------------

Now for advice:

Depending on how involved or the amount of effort you want to spend on your sister, I would just start with an open conversation with your sister about her financial situation. From there just figure out a plan to educate her on responsible financial behavior and the consequences of high-interest loans. Really encourage her to take responsibility for her decisions and offer emotional support. Depending on your sister and her personality, the most effective plan or manner in educating her will probably vary quite a bit.

The important thing to remember is that it may not be a very quick process. For example, with my little sister in particular, she went from barely working part-time, tons of debt, living with me, and barely able to afford her bills to working full-time, manageable debt, living on her own, and affording her bills while being able to save, but it took ~7 months.

TL;DR ->Avoid simply bailing her out, as it will not address the underlying issues.

#anon message #lovely anon #anonymous message #anon ask #anonymous

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paramounticebound · 2 years

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heeey! small update to say I’m alive, just not around. things irl have been... bad, which saps my creativity and desire to do anything aside from panic. that said, i need to force myself to do... something positive/distracting soon, and i’m thinking that thing may be a little writing this week. hopefully. :’)

hope all of you are doing good and happy holidays if you celebrate any!

a small vent about what’s going on under the cut because i don’t want to pollute the dash with my negativity-- but i need an outlet rip.

i’ve been really, really ill since the beginning of september, enough so that i lost my job and haven’t been able to work since. i’m seeing a specialist for my ailment at the end of the month, but man, the waiting is agonizing. painful. this put a huge burden on my spouse having the only income. the long and short of it is that they fell ill for about a week and missed work. so there’s only half a paycheck coming, we’re already late on rent, and realistically can’t afford it this month. we’re so behind on things, my medical bills are ridiculous, we have a payday loan we’re still paying off. i managed to finagle things with utilities, but i’m expecting an eviction notice.

tomorrow is me fighting my crippling anxiety to call around and see if there’s any sort of community help we can get, but i’m doubtful. then to beg our property manager for a payment plan for the second time this month.

i just-- it’s really hard right now. i don’t have anyone to talk to about this and the stress is literally causing insomnia and weight loss at this point. sorry this isn’t rp related, i just needed to vent a little skdlfjldsf

#x: STILL ASLEEP (ooc.)#tw negativity

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butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway · 2 years

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Thanks, I appreciate the response. Also for the record this ask can wait a couple days till you've had time to rest and unwind and get into a better place. Like no harm will come from a delayed response, I'm doing my version of fine today and even at my lowest I'm really not in danger

Like just to be clear, the nice thing about text is it can wait, and this is very long. Without any self sacrificing nonsense I'm saying it can wait. Get yourself into a good space, once you're in that space look after your actual patients first, I'm alright and can wait and won't be hurt by waiting

Also just wanted to say that if you ever want I'm totally happy to come off anon and chat. I can't do anything specific, but I can listen and hopefully validate and at kind of seem like I actually heard. It's really just active listening stuff, but I'd be happy to do that and prefer it to talking about what's on my mind

If you do want to take me up on that offer, it doesn't have to wait till you've responded to this

Anyway, hope you have a nice day

That said... hmm... I guess this takes a bit of backstory so I'll try to make it quick

I don't have a job, never managed to get one, just volunteering stuff. I did however get a bit of inheritance from a great aunt which I managed to leverage into the last affordable house in this state. $90k and my dream home, but that's part of why I'm 50 miles from everything. I don't mind it cause I never went out anyway, but that's how you afford a house these days

I've never had a good relationship with my mom for a lot of reasons, but I ended up having to let her move in with me just cause she cost me too much when left alone (like the time I had to scrape together $6k to pay off a payday loan). So it works, and like bills are paid with the disability I helped her get on, but there's a lot of negative past emotions at work here

Almost to what I actually want to talk about

So I drink gallon mason jars of tea. Water out here kind of sucks, leave a tea bag in the water kind of processes it for me. I'm upstairs, my mom's downstairs, and she doesn't do anything at all around the house except cooking and dishes. We have an agreement where she'll refill one of my 2 jars with tea and stick it in the fridge

Well if ever both jars are empty at the same time she has a melt down about what a horrible person she is. I don't make a big deal about it, but she makes a huge deal out of it. I can never bring up any problems I ever have cause she'll have a melt down, and even this I have to worry that if she didn't fill some tea that maybe I just shouldn't drink so much so she doesn't freak out about 2 empty jars

No we get to what I actually wanted to vent about

I tell my friend (same one I mentioned last time) how frustrating this is for me, how it's like if someone tells me something I did wrong, that may make me feel bad, but if I just go "oh I'm a horrible person" it makes me impossible to deal with. Like it just gets frustrating dealing with this

My friend responds with that my mom probably doesn't mean to do this and is just upset and overwhelmed and it's just like...

I mean of course, but also like that doesn't mean you don't hurt people. I try to thank people when they bring a problem to my attention, even if I hate it, just to not be my mom. Just cause I know what it's like to be met with "oh god!"

And like... can anyone ever take my side on anything. Can anyone ever just trust me? Like maybe if my mom weren't my mom and hadn't made it so the idea of family repulses me so bad I can't even be close to my dad who I like, that I'd get a lot of what's going on for her and be sympathetic

I don't know... despite maneuvering this house into existence and being good with money my mom's always second guessing me and treating me like an idiot. Just no one seems to be able to just trust me

I don't know... I like this friend a lot, I care deeply about her. If she ever takes me up on it she'll always have a free room here, cause wanting to help her get out from her parents and be making her own choices is part of what motived me to keep looking for a house even when obviously it looked bleak

I just... I mean I could use some help, I could use someone to come around and teach me all this stuff I'm having to make up for my self like how to clean. I wing it, and I wish I didn't have to, but that seems unlikely

So short of that I just wish people would trust me and... not try and give advice since... hmm... it's hard for me to say this about myself, but frankly if I showed you the cleaning I did on my mom's trailer and then you take managing to get a house, I move at an ent's pace, but I'm kind of a miracle worker in the long run

When I don't listen to expectations and do things my way, they work out really well. I take other people's thoughts into consideration (my grandpa was always scripting for people and I saw how crazy it made him), hell this house was something my mom suggested we look at when I was saying maybe we needed to move to a cheaper state, but like... I have a better grasp on things than people treat me like I have

Just get tired... I'm always saying to people when I listen to them, I'll slip in that I think they're doing a good job, that I think they're valuable, that they matter

Aside from just being "nice"... I don't know, no one says that stuff to me. I'm nice, and once an optometrist's assistant said I had nice eyes (I assume structurally, cause she had someone else come look at them through one of their gadgets)

I just want to be treated like I'm wanted. I just want to be treated like I'm trusted. A lot of this, if I told you why I don't get along with my mom, I think it's more or less textbook neglect symptoms I have. I wish people would trust me on my mental health too

I wish people would work with me. I wish they'd communicate what they want. That friend who has the room her if she wants it, for a while she was talking about just booking a ticket and getting away from her parents, but then I never heard about it again and I don't know why. If I knew why maybe I could do something to accommodate, but no one communicates with me

I don't know... doesn't matter. I'm slowly almost coping enough to get myself to do the tasks I want done, though I'm still bad at it. I've got one last bit of cleaning left before I move onto stage 2. It's been months, it's just so overwhelming I can't work on it or... something... don't know why I can't do things, but I've almost fixed it

None of it really matters, history shows I'll make it work, history shows my emotions don't really matter. I will probably build myself a good life

I'll just be totally alone and proved right that I'm unlovable, and be even more bitter than I am now (which sounds so miserable and I'd rather die), but just like now I'll do everything I can to avoid letting that bitterness show and venting it on people

...I'm not sure that there was a point to this, but there it is. I'm still thinking about the whole telling you where I am, mostly because my webcam/mic set up is janky and I worry I'd be too anxious to actually talk to someone using it, too embarassed

Sorry for the ungodly amount of words. I always talk too much once I start talking

The offer to listen is sincere and on the table, and I can promise zero judgement on whatever you might say. I don't know... hopefully you took my advice and waited to read this till you were doing better

Take care

I think a lot of people assume that when someone vents to them about what another person is doing that's hurtful, it's because they haven't yet considered why the other person might be doing those things.

But for a lot of us, other people's motivations and machinations are literally All We Think About. So there's no comfort in being told "she's probably just overwhelmed and doesn't mean it" because OF COURSE that's probably true and the problem isn't that you are unaware of this, it's that when YOU'RE overwhelmed and say something you don't mean, suddenly all the compassion about "well consider it from their point of view" goes out the window. It starts to feel like there is no right way for you to exist, only ways that will draw slightly less attention (and therefore slightly less harm) from the people around you. Which is a shitty, miserable way to live. And it's really nice when you have someone in your life who just....doesn't assume you're venting because you haven't considered the other person's perspective? Sometimes intent is fucking irrelevant and what I need to comfort myself is not an assurance that the other person "didn't mean it" but an acknowledgement that yeah it fucking sucks to deal with this, especially when I put SO MUCH EFFORT into being kind and gentle and accommodating and supportive even when I am just spitting mad.

I'm actually doing a lot better! Thank you for your attention to how I might internalize or cope with your ask, it's very kind of you to reassure me that there's no rush to respond. I like text based communication for the same reasons you described. No pressure to respond quickly means being able to formulate and think, which is great especially as someone who struggles with both of my native tongues. It also means that the messages that ultimately get sent are more meaningful and connected for me, which I really like, not to mention circumnavigating the auditory processing disorder.

I hope you do come off anon someday and chat because you seem like a lovely person, and while I'm not in dire need of someone to talk to about my problems at this point in my life, I do really enjoy rattling on in excessive detail about irrelevant things, and hearing others do the same.

I do try to be really careful about offering my own ear to others, because I know that as a therapist it can be tough for me to turn off clinical mode while listening, but if you don't mind gently nudging me when I've done so too much, I'd love to be a part of your system of support.

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