#Partially because it depends way more on the life habits of the resident rather than their inherent traits

[lavendairs]

♚  ━━━  ❛ ALL ABOUT AUGUST.

G E N E R A L  —

NAME.         his full birth name is august ahn-evergreene, his last names being a combination of his maternal and paternal last names because his mother wasn’t going to allow her children to not have her last name in some fashion. however, in his twenties he drops evergreene and only uses ahn as his last name due to a rift with his mother / wanting an identity separate from her ( he’s not fond of his father either but he has a habit of leaving town so it’s easier for august to distance himself from that part of his family’s ‘legacy’ ).

AGE.         he appears in his late 20s ( 27-30 ) but is around 60 years old due to the extended lifespan of a mage.

HEIGHT.          he stands at 6′1 ( 185.42 ). no, he’s not a sloucher and is the type to internally judge people who do because stand up straight wtf?

WEIGHT.          170 pounds ( 77.1kg ). he’s lean and not overly muscular; doesn’t do much heavy physical activity anymore due to his current ‘condition’.

ETHNICITY.         korean-filipino american mage. he comes from a bloodline of magic-users. if commenting on his natural magical prowess, expect a dry ‘of course, i was breed to be.’ in response.

OCCUPATION.           he is what the people of crescent creek call ‘the overseer’, the highest sitting member of the council of novema ( or just ‘the council’ for short ). they are the ones who ‘govern’ the town and its people, establishing laws and stepping in to resolve high-level matters between residents if it should come to it. with the council needing to hear matters from the magi, vampires, fae, werewolves, and other beings, august has a constant headache.

GENDER.          cis-male.

SEXUAL & ROMANTIC ORIENTATION.         he would state that he’s heterosexual but admittedly he’s never fully explored his sexuality enough for that to be a definite statement. he hasn’t seriously dated in a very long time™ and it isn’t interested in changing that.

MBTI.         INTJ-A,  The  Architect  —  it can be lonely at the top. as one of the rarest personality types – and one of the most capable – architects ( INTJs ) know this all too well. rational and quick-witted, architects may struggle to find people who can keep up with their nonstop analysis of everything around them. these personalities can be both the boldest of dreamers and the bitterest of pessimists. architects believe that, through willpower and intelligence, they can achieve even the most challenging of goals. but they may be cynical about human nature more generally, assuming that most people are lazy, unimaginative, or simply doomed to mediocrity.

S P E C I F I C S  —

FAVOURITE  FOOD.           he’s very particular about getting his three meals a day in if he can but he probably has the most fondest for food that was often served at dinner time with his family or when all his cousins spent time at his lola’s house when they visited her. dishes such as bopis, kimchi, pancit canton, tocino and rice, korean styled steak, etc. are personal favorites.

FAVOURITE  DRINK.           his day isn’t complete without having a nice, chilled glass of vintage red wine during dinner ( and maybe just drinking straight from the bottle by the end of the night ). he does enjoy drinking rosé during a nice breakfast or lunch depending on the bottle.

FAVOURITE  HOBBY.          brooding. joking aside, he does enjoy sparring matches, ‘magical’ based sparring matches. he does practice taekkyeon ( korean martial arts ) and enjoys mixing spells in by shocking opponents, blocking their spells with his own wards, etc.

FAVOURITE  SCENT.             the smell of freshly cut grass as well as the scent of pomegranates, vanilla, cinnamon, and musk. the former is bittersweet and nostalgic, reminding of his years as a teen: when he was young, oblivious, and only had to be concerned about being late to football / soccer practice. the latter reminds him of someone he would rather forget.

FAVOURITE  PERSON.        i. his twin brother, ansel ahn. his death still hurts and he’ll always partially blame himself for it - despite the fact that there would’ve been nothing he could’ve done to change it. ( this is the part where that wand.avision quote is inserted in ). the loss of his brother dramatically changes the course of his life. ii. his lola, nora evergreene. she grounds him a lot. one of the few times he’s at peace is when he visits her for brunch every third saturday of the month. iii. his ex, audrey cramer. he would never admit it out loud though - at least not anymore.

T E N   F A C T S  —

he’s well versed in magical creatures : one of the 'gifts’ of being the overseer is the ability to traverse pass the veil - a barrier / entry way that exist between ‘earth’ and the many dimensions that exist beyond it. this ability, however, is one that has fallen out of use over the past few decades. ever the abnormally, august makes use of this ability for his own personal agenda. outside of the different races that already live within crescent creek ( witches, vampires, werewolves, fairies, etc. ), there are those that prefer to live freely in their own worlds rather than live in secrecy on earth. so yes, he has met unicorns and he thinks most of them are actually assholes.

on the nature of the veil : the origin of the veil itself is a mystery. all that is known that about its existence is that many millennium ago, those from different dimensions ( or ‘worlds’ ) were able to freely pass through it without the need of assistance or a spell. as time progressed and humanity began to rise, passage through the veil became increasingly more restricted, leading to entry ways within the veil being sealed and only accessible through the leader in each world ( ex. the overseer in crescent creek ). although the town of crescent creek has always traded with other towns, cities, etc. pass the veil, many of those trades have slowed to a stop entirely as those dimensions have become inaccessible. to somewhat ease panic and concern, the council has framed the issue being due to other dimensions permanently closing themselves off from earth ( a situation that has previously happened some worlds ). in truth, the veil itself has become 'infected’ by a foreign spell that’s led to the blocking of entry ways that lead into other worlds. due to not knowing the source of the spell and its affect on the veil, the knowledge of its presence is unknown to most people in crescent creek. // note: this is more of an overall ‘lore’ fact that explains the backdrop of what’s going on in this ‘world’ to understand other facts about him. in the grand scheme of things, this wouldn’t come up when interacting with him.

he doesn’t believe in astrologists, psychics, fortune tellers, etc. : which may seem contradictory considering he’s a literal magical being but in his experience, it’s typically humans pushing pseudoscience or mages using their magic to con clueless humans. people in that line of ‘work’ are hacks to him - especially since he’s seen it first hand with his own father’s profession.

over the past twenty years, he’s been continuing his brother’s research : ansel, his older, twin brother, had been studying the distortions within the veil in secret before his death a decade prior. although the status of the veil was supposed to be concealed to those outside of the council’s reach, ansel confided in his brother before his death. in august’s eyes, whatever spell that’s taken over the veil is an active threat and with the backing of onyx crane, a vampire on the council, and his cousin, faye evergreene, he began an almost obsessive-like determination to complete his brother’s work and find answers - even if it’s to his own detriment. // *note: with a big soap opera trope being people returning from the dead, it shouldn’t be shocking to discover that ansel, is in fact, not actually dead. he used a storm that hit the town as a means to fake his own death ( disasters that kill off characters is usually a soap opera storyline that happens during ‘sweeps’ period ) and left town for his own agenda.

the youngest overseer to sit in the council : his status as the overseer is one steeped in controversy due to...a variety of reasons: an overseer typically is replaced by another council member by vote or an apprentice to the overseer should they have one after an overseer’s death, resignation, or if they’ve been forcefully discharged from the position. none of these things applied to august’s own mother, tala ahn-evergreene, when he usurped her - blackmailing the council by threatening to expose the truth about the current threat of the veil. // *note: in every ( american ) soap opera, it is a staple to have a ‘thing’, whether it be a business, a central institution in town ( ex. a hospital ), or a position ( CEO of a company, chief of staff at a hospital, etc. ) that many of the characters are tied to or even fighting for control over. ELQ, the quartermaine’s family business on general hospital, often have storylines where family members are fighting over shares of the company, who should run it, or the family teaming up to oust an outsider that’s taken over the company ( funnily enough, there is a story like the latter happening on the show right now ). the point here is that being the overseer or even sitting on the council of novema is that ‘thing’ that people fight over to be on for various reason. 

he takes his personal upkeep very seriously : there’s a lot of things one could say about crescent creek’s current overseer but no one can ever say they’ve seen august ahn not look put together when he’s out and about ( this is him going out publicly basically ). as someone who values consistency and control in his life but pretty much never has it, august actually highly treasures the time spent doing his morning / nightly skincare routines, getting his acupuncture treatments, and so on. he supports the self care movement essentially.

he ( as well as his siblings ) once witnessed one of his father’s affairs : it was an awful experience. -10/10. doesn’t recommend. this incident shapes his attitude towards relationships in general and how he operates within them. august has a very black and white attitude about relationships: you are either with him 100% or you’re not with him at all. it’s unhealthy and he has to unpack that. // *fun fact: this is actually a real event that happened with this family back in the sims 2 over ten years ago - they just all had different names, were a different race, and so on at that point.. they’ve changed a lot:tm:. 

may be an active suspect for murder : it happens. when marlena cramer, a former council member, suddenly passes on, the town is overtaken by a wave of a grief...that soon becomes shock and suspicion when her death is rules to be from unnatural causes. between being one of the last people to see her alive and reports of him wanting her off the council, august becomes one of the prime suspects for her murder case. // *note: whodunit’s are probably up there with ‘who’s the daddy’ storylines in terms of being the most common soap opera staple ( ex. who shot j.r. on dallas ).

voted most likely to be successful in his HS yearbook : august was the picture perfect prom king, the jock that was friends with everyone on campus, and the one everyone expected ride off into the sunset with his hs sweetheart. on paper, august was well rounded - some would say outright perfect. today, those who knew him in high school would shake their heads and ask themselves what happened to the boy who always smiled at them when he passed you by in the hallway or whose laughter could easily be heard the loudest in a classroom. august, as he is now, is a stranger to those that once knew him.

it’s happening gradually but he is, in fact, dying : many of the worlds that had become unaccessible were not only blocked off but were actively decaying - many of its residents fleeing to other worlds before they were forever trapped in a dying one while others locked their entry ways to stop the spell from spreading to their own homes. the overseers in crescent creek were restricted from traversing the veil themselves due to the unknown risk of the spell, a rule that august actively ignores. every time he travels through the veil, the more the spell slowly eats away at him - a fact that he is well aware of and he has no desire to stop. he will keep traveling worlds ( and helping those he can ) until he finds the source of the spell and kills its caster himself.

FIVE  THINGS  HE  LIKES.

visiting the sauna. the heat helps with his internal pain.

eating home-cooked meals.

getting hydrafacials ( james_franco_so_good.gif ).

smoking with his cousin, faye.

blasting emo music as he gets drunk, questions his life choices, and stares at the ceiling

FIVE  THINGS  HE  DISLIKES.

feeling used.

disloyal / uncommitted people

selfishness.

tough, chewy steak.

cheap wine.

COMMON  WORDS / PHRASES  THAT  ANNOY  THEM.         during a misunderstanding or argument, the worst thing to tell him is that he ‘doesn’t understand’. even if the person is somewhat correct, august is a person that prides himself on being an objective observer of a situation, rational in his thinking, and not someone who lets his emotions dictate his choices. saying something like that to him would just further annoy him.

PERSONALITY  TYPES  THEY  PREFER.        those who are smart, loyal, and efficient. those who are willing to dirty their hands on occasion, and believe that the ends do justify the means.

PERSONALITY  TYPES  THEY  AVOID.       selfish and incompetent people, those who proceed to waste his time, useless people in positions of powers, jerky unicorns.

WHAT  DO  YOU  FIND  DIFFERENT / DISTINCT  ABOUT  YOUR  PORTRAYAL?

         the whole concept of this ‘world’ is based around soap opera cliches and tropes so the character is intentionally ‘tropey’ and meant to pull from different fictional men from the genre - as well as outside of it. i would say him being the leading man is unique within itself because people of color in soaps ( at least within american soaps which this is all inspired by ) are generally never the leads or involved in what i actually watch soaps for: the drama, the love stories, the scheming, the cheating, etc. they’re usually the straight men to the white characters; living well off but boring lives and are rarely given front burner stories. all black people in a soap opera are usually always going to somehow know each other, only date each other, etc. you can switch black people out with latinos, asians, etc. and it would still be true. the characters of color are easily written off as a result of this.

        in general, soap operas are very white - and still are today. they have a history of casting white people as mexican characters, ex. lindsay hartley as theresa on passions. asian american soap characters are severly lacking - i could probably count the amount of i’ve seen on screen. a black actress formerly on general hospital mentioned how people jokingly called the show ‘generally white hospital’ behind the scenes. chad.wick bos.eman left all my children because of how much of a stereotype his character was - and he was right ( ironically, michael b. jord.an was his recast ). some shows are getting better, bold and beautiful currently has a story involving two characters cheating ( one of which is black ) and it’s hot af but it’s still not enough for the times we’re in. this isn’t a problem exclusive to soaps either - most media has a problem with this. people of color aren’t getting lead roles and especially not romantic lead roles - even if they do, the shows always make it a interracial romance with a white person ( ex. bridg/erton ) as if people of color of different races are incapable of dating each other.

         finally, i’ve noticed that you rarely see asian american men portrayed as romantic leads or desirable ( at least in a non-fetishized way ) in western media. that’s pretty lame:tm: so that was also a factor when i revamped audrey’s love interest ( parts of ‘old’ him still exist, ex. him being a jock / king of the school as a teen, a complicated relationship with his brother, etc ). anyway, stan august uwu.

tagged by:   i took it from myself. tagging:   anyone who wants to.

[myfandomrambles]

Adora, Catra & Trauma (pt 4)

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3)

Full Show

An Analysis of the way Catra & Adora are affected by their respective traumatic experiences.

Identity Formation and Core Beliefs

Adora

Adora’s core beliefs are centred around the world being unsafe and the idea that making it safe is her responsibility. This is due to her disorganized attachment born from childhood abuse and trauma. Her cognition is anchored to these ideas and the ability to detach herself from this deep responsibility is lacking. Core beliefs of instability and lack of safety leave Adora with underlying anxiety and dysregulation.

Adora’s sense of self generally just never fully formed, it’s destabilised, detached and dependent. Along with this she lacks full autonomy and has deep codependency on others for any continuity of self. Adora also has very little self-worth not attached to her ability to succeed in being a hero to others, which causes her to objectify herself. Her thoughts often become wrapped around helping others and a drive to always “fix it”. This leaves her with little sense of self and tendencies to give to much of herself to others to the point of self-harm.

In season one we see how she switched from having her sense of self is based on being Force Captain to being based around being a good enough She Ra in Sword pt 1/2 (1x01-2). When Adora is scared she automatically runs her belief of the world as unsafe and unstable activated. This fear causes her to go to Madame Razz, someone she doesn’t even know, to ask for help not just practically but is begging to know who she is now that she is She Ra. (Razz, 1x03)

In Flowers For She Ra (1x04) Adora's identity issues and self-doubt are triggered by the behaviour of the residents of Perfuma's kingdom. Adora is scared to live up to being the She Ra of the past and doesn’t want to show her face as Adora believes herself to not be enough.

During No Princes Left Behind (1x09) and The Beacon (1x10), we see how Adora has structured her sense of self as being a hero and giving herself to others. She is filled with guilt and confusion, the core structures she built her world around is damaged when she can not successfully play her role of being an object used by others.

In Promise (1x11) we see how this concept started in her childhood having been set up to have to act like the protector to others to not lose those she loves and to not lose the attention of her mother. The core beliefs of the world being fundamentally unsafe were set up by the violence of her mother and the focus on war. The memories show that her identity was driven by her connections to others and how hard Adora worked to gain any self-esteem. Her need to be a hero is also present in how she did act as the protector for Catra as a child multiple times and continues to want to be the hero to Catra now though not always conscious.

We also see the current dilemma she has in this fight being torn between the idea of becoming She Ra and her attachment to Catra and her past. This is partially born from manipulations past and present which adds layers to her identity issues going forward. Adora doesn’t know what she wants and can’t balance her love of Catra with her newly constructed self as She Ra. I think we can also infer she is also torn in a more normal sense between her new friends and her old ones.

With Light Hope we see her begging for answers as to how to fix it and how to save Glimmer, which she blames herself for. This guilt is exacerbated by the guilt that was built into her schemas from childhood. Adora’s need to fix it, guilt and fear become manipulated by Light Hope who tries to convince her to cut herself off from her friends to save them. Adora rejects some of the self-isolation but is still basing her core belief of self on She Ra missing part of Swift Wind’s comment about her friends being there not because she’s She Ra, but because they care deeply for Adora as a whole person. An issue of basing worth of being useful to others that is deeply part of Adora’s identity. (Light Hope 1x12)

In The Battle of Bright Moon (1x13) we see Adora both separate her selfhood from She Ra making a dissociated self-concept but also put her value on rather she could save everyone on her own.

Adora: I don't want you risking yourselves.

She-Ra can do this alone. This is what she's for.

Bow: Not even She-Ra can take out

an army on her own.

Adora: Then what good is she?

Throughout Ties That Bind (2x02), we see Adora struggle with feeling like she is worthwhile and feels the need to prove that she can be a better She Ra then Mara. Adora’s identity and self-esteem and schemas are tied up with being She Ra and being the proper person others need. Feelings of deep confusion and guilt as well drive obsessive behaviours throughout her attempts to fix the tower. She gains a bond with Swift Wind through this crisis which serves her well going forward, another moment where being able to connect with others grounds Adora.

During roll with it Adora’s hypervigilance, panic, control issues are triggered when her core belief of the world being unsafe and dangerous are activated. Her Identity is tied up with this fear and hypervigilance, making the dysregulation run very deep. (Roll With It 2x04 )

During The Price of Power (3x01) t he identity Adora had tried to build up throughout season 1 & 2 and some of the stability she had gained is broken down when she learns about her history and her status as a First One. While she had never learned to separate herself from how she can serve others, this revelation still breaks a degree of stability of her connection to others. We see her bolt and look for answers from Light Hope to re-ground herself and try and lessen the dislocation and dissociation of her identity.

Adora gains some distance and boundary in her self concept in her interaction with Catra in (Portal 3x06)

Catra: Let’ face it all of this is your fault. If you hadn’t gotten captured your sword wouldn’t have opened the portal. If you hadn’t gotten the sword and been the world’s worst She Ra, None of this would have happened. Admit it Adora, the world would still be standing if you had never come through that portal in the first place. You made me this. You took everything from me. You broke the world and it is all your fault.

Adora: No it’s not. I didn’t make you pull the switch. I didn’t make you do anything. I didn’t break the world, but I am gonna fix it. And you, you made your choice. Now live with it.

However, this gained boundary from Catra is paired with a reinforcement of Adora having to be the saviour of others and to protect others. It also lines up with her need to follow her density to build a structure of self and try and soothe her deep fears.

Angella: And you’ll come back too right? [From removing the sword to save the dimension]

Adora: I have to do this. It’s my destiny.

Angella: Oh, Adora, no. This is not it.

Adora: But...this is the only way to fix things.

.-----

Angella: You inspired us. You inspired me. Not because it was your destiny, but because you never let fear stop you. And now I choose to be brave.

Adora: No your majesty. Angella.

Angella: Take care of each other. (Portal 3x06)

[In this scene we see Angella gives Adora kind physical contact, something powerful for Adora from a guiding and maternal figure. Adora has to watch Angella die, a re-traumatizing event]

This interaction is a similar situation to what we see at the end of the show with The Heart. We see how Adora acts self-sacrificial to suicidal when giving the idea she must fulfil the needs of others. This event compounds how she sees herself as a hero and martyr, an issue that lasts. It’ also important to note how Adora turns Angella words of “take care of each other” to “take care of you [Glimmer ]”(The Coronation 4x01)

Adora continues to struggle with her identity due to her history and her attachment of identity to her status as She Ra and a hero. Her continued habit of trying to give more than she has to others gives her a lot of stress (season 3-4). Adora also tries to get answers from Light Hope on this issue and with questions about the weapon Mara had and what She Ra means. Adora never fully gets these answers (Protocol 4x05).

Adora also seeks answers from Mara. Adora has attached her identity to Mara making this deeply core to how she handles the stressors of her life. This attachment starts with her understanding of Mara as someone she needs to be better then and transitions to someone she has to carry on the legacy of. This displays how she attaches her identity to others, which started with Shadow Weaver & Catra, and how she lacks a core self so she is structuring everything from the ground up. (Seasons 2-5)

Adora seeks answers during her struggle with how to save others from the heart and Light Hope from Madame Razz (Hero 4x09). Her identity constructed Adora being a hero and her connection to She Ra as the saviour of Etheria is part of what disrupts Adora’s relationship to Glimmer (Fractures 4x10). A feeling of not being able to live up to what She Ra needs to be and how to be this hero is brought out by the influence of the degraded tech on Best Island. Fears of not being enough some of her strongest fears and stressors (Beast Island 4x11).

Her fight against The Heart in Destiny pt 1/2 (4x12-13) is driven by this need to break her identity from being the one who would hurt Etheria. These actions shatter her status as She Ra for a period of time something that causes Adora severe distress. This loss of being the most heroic of her group causes her to be too rash and causes herself bodily and mental distress (Hore Prime & Launch 5x01-2).

When Adora regains her ability to be She-Ra she accepts this back strongly working to be able to access her again. We see a lot here of how she is both attached to being She Ra as part of who she has to be to save others but also sets this part of her apart from her. Holding She-Ra as a dissociated part of self, I believe this is due to seeing herself as not fully worthy of being She-Ra. Adora internalised how others originally separated herself as former horde member from being the proper hero of Etheria. (Stranded, Save The Cat, Taking Control, Return to the Fright Zone 5x04-6, 5x10).

When Adora learns that she might have to give up her life Adora is willing to accept this. This is based on her tendency to place her worth on being able to serve others. Her identity disruption causes her to put herself through stresses and fail to be able to see her wants. We see Catra notice this in the end and try to get Adora to see this, Glimmer and Bow try and at least get her to not give in to dying and Shadow Weaver continues to reinforce this behaviour and schema. Her ability to give herself fully over to saving others and rejection of what she wants and needs in life colours her ability to save others. Her willingness to give herself over and structure identity on this pushes her to save others; it also deeply weakens her. (Failsafe, 5x11)

We see Adora breakdown and turn to something very close to suicidal her identity shattered and becoming warped with a dysregulated state and confused objectification. A battle of autonomy and self versus objectification is seen in Adora’s conversation with herself in the form of Mara.

Adora: I’m going to save Etheria, no matter what it takes. Your sacrifice won’t be in vain, I promise.

Mara: But at what cost? I never wanted to die. I sacrificed myself so you would never have to. Why are you doing this Adora?

Adora: It’s better this way. My friends will be safe. They’ll be happy.

Mara: And you? What do you want when this is all over.

Adora: I...It doesn’t matter. I’m She-Ra. This is what I'm supposed to do.

Mara: You are worth more than what you can give to other people. You deserve love too. (Heart pt 1, 5x12)

The question of what she wants is a version of the question Catra has been asking and the ideas of her having love is what her friends have been trying to tell her. However, she can not ground herself in these ideas and is too scared and hurt to be able to see this at the time.

Her core belief of having to earn love and lining her identity outside sources almost gives the planet to Horde Prime. Catra and Adora lose their mother at this point and this along with Adora trying to force Catra away weaken Adora further.

Being able to see her future and ground herself to Catra's love gives her the will to push against Horde Prime. This is hard due to Adora being unable to see the future as safe from her core belief that the world is scary, but Catra can finally pull Adora back their attachment and love being strong. Only the ability to imagine herself as worthwhile and believing Catra loves her gives her the strength to save the planet. (Heart pt 2, 5x13)

A keynote throughout the series is that Adora is most able to ground, build her self concept, shift negative schemas and break her dissociated self-concept when she connects with others. Her connection to others also serves her in health overall and pushes against her tendency to deal with anxiety, depression and dissociation. And when the opposite happens and she loses her healthy attachment to others all of her symptoms of trauma worsen and her ability to make healthy decisions suffers. (In the Shadows of Mystacor, The Battle of Brightmoon, Ties That Bind, Roll With It, Pulse, Protocol, Mer-Mysteries, Boy’s Night Out, Hero, Fractures, Horde Prime, Launch, Stranded, Save The Cat, Failsafe, Heart pt 1/2, 1x07, 1x13, 2x02, 2x04, 4x04-10, 5x01-2, 5x04-5, 5x11-12)

Catra

Catra’s identity issues and negative core beliefs stem from her childhood of abuse and trauma. These identity issues and core beliefs include; being second best, of the word being scary, of her worth being based in others, of punishment being inevitable and life being unfair. Her survival instincts tend towards copying abusive behaviours instead of forming healthy attachments. Catra also struggles to not internalize what others think she ought to be even when she plays the rebel.

Catra’s Beliefs of the world as unsafe and self-concept are primarily based on Adora & Shadow Weaver’s perception of her. However, others like the cadets and Hordak’s opinions also affect her self concept. ( Sword pt 1/2, Razz, The frozen Forest, Signals, Light Spinner, Reunion, 1x02-3, 2x01, 2x03, 2x06-7) We can see the start of these structures in what Shadow Weaver tells Catra about her worth in their childhood.

Shadow Weaver: You have never been anything more than a nuisance to me! I've kept you around this long because Adora was fond of you, but if you ever do anything to jeopardize her future, I will dispose of you myself. Promise (1x11)

This set’s her very worth as a person in the way Adora’s was “fond of you [catra]”. We can see how Catra internalised this view and continues to believe this throughout her life. (Remember, The Portal, Princess Prom, Princess Scorpia 1x08, 3x05-6, 4x06). she believes that her self worth and worthiness to even live is based on rather Adora wants her or not (Corridors, Save The Cat, Taking Control, Failsafe & Heart pt 1, 5x03, 5x05-6& 5x11-12)

Catra also bases a great deal of her self worth for much of her life on Shadow Weaver’s ability to value her. Catra is deeply hurt that her mother never really cared for her. And tends to fight between believing that she needs Shadow Weaver and doesn’t need her all at the same time. But either way her self worth is based in Shadow Weaver. (Razz, The Beacon, Light Hope, The Battle of Bright Moon, signals, Light Spinner, Reunion, Once Upon a Time in The Crimson Waste, Failsafe, 1x01-13, 2x03, 2x06, 3x03, 3x06-7,5x11)

A belief of value as based on power and how much control she can have permeates her actions. She views the world as a power struggle and this affects her ability to see herself holistically. The only thing that starts to matter is how much power she can have. This is due to living in a culture that is built on fear. If Catra shows weakness she fears not only losing her sense of self but also of being hurt. Her schemas of fear permeate all of her actions and perceptions. (Promise, Light Hope, Light Spinner, Signals, Reunion, Once Upon a Time in the Waste, Moment of Truth, Princess Scorpia, Boys' Night Out, Fractures, Destiny pt1&2, Horde Prime, & Launch, 1x11-12, 2x03, 2x06-7, 3x03-4, 4x06, 4x08, 4x10-13, & 5x01-2)

Along with the core belief of the world being unsafe and afraid she also carries the belief that the best option is to be cruel back. If the world is going to constantly hurt her then she ought to hurt the world back. She is scared and angry and has internalized the feelings of terror, anger, hurt confusion and loss as who she is not emotions she has. This is worsened by her dysregulation. Catra’s struggles with depression also reinforce her negative beliefs of worthlessness and abandonment. (The Beacon, Promise, Light Hope, The Ties That Bind, Signals, White Out, Light Spinner, Reunion, The Price of Power, Once Upon A Time In The Crimson Waste, Moment of Truth, Remember The Portal, The Coronation, Pulse, Princess Scorpia, Boy’s Night Out, Fractures, & Destiny 1/2, 1x10-12, 2x02-3, 2x05-7, 3x01, 2x03,6, 4x01, 4x04, 4x06, 4x08, & 4x10, 4x12-13)

Catra’s locus of control is malformed, she views herself as lacking much ability to effects everything and sees the world as persecutory towards her. One key moment is during the portal arc. We see it in Once Upon A Time in The Crimson Waste (3x03) when she learns what shadow weaver did, she blames Adora telling her that everything is because of her. During their battle in the collapsing dimension, Catra tells Adora that it is all her fault and that Adora made her into this version of a person, struggling angry person who wants to hurt herself and others.

Catra: Let’ face it all of this is your fault. If you hadn’t gotten captured your sword wouldn’t have opened the portal. If you hadn’t gotten the sword and been the world’s worst She Ra, None of this would have happened. Admit it Adora, the world would still be standing if you had never come through that portal in the first place. You made me this. You took everything from me. You broke the world and it is all your fault.

But interestingly this moment that is the height of Catra’s struggle with viewing the world as out of her control, persecutory and without any locus of control is challenged by Adora.

Adora: No it’s not. I didn’t make you pull the switch. I didn’t make you do anything. I didn’t break the world, but I am gonna fix it. And you, you made your choice. Now live with it. (The Portal 3x06).

[This conversation is accompanied by Catra assaulting Adora, a show of violence and power even as she renounces her responsibility of the catastrophe but Adora turns this around landing a knockout blow on Catra.]

Throughout season four we mostly see Catra basing her self concept and self-worth on her ability to complete the mission she set for herself. She is seeing herself as the abuser that Shadow Weaver wanted her to be. While she has gained a sense that she can truly impact the world and the confidence to stand up to Hordak she has completely walled herself off. Her connection to Scorpia, a grounding force has been destroyed. This loss worsens her anxiety, paranoia and depression. She is paranoid about how others see her while degrading them which worsens their opinions of her. She is still wanting to be strong and still has the schema of the world as a dangerous place as well as that she ought to be cruel back. (The Coronation, The Valley of the Lost, Flutternia, Pulse, Protocol, Princess Scorpia, Boys' Night Out, Fractures, Destiny pt 1 4x01-6, 4x08, 4x10, 4x12)

However, we do start to see her struggle with the actions she has taken dealing with, guilt, depression and flashbacks. The triggers of abandonment and stress cause her to suffer from enacted implicit memories of complete paranoia. This suffering has her falling apart. (Flutternia & Boys' Night Out 4x03 & 4x08)

We see her sense of self shatter almost completely under the weight of failure, depression, rage and pressure from the actions of Hordak and Double Trouble in Destiny pt 2 (4x13).  

Double Trouble: ...I finally figured out your character. You try so hard to play the big, bad villain, but your heart’s never been in it, has it?

Catra: What--? What are you? Stop. Stop it.

Double Trouble: People have hurt you, haven’t they? They didn’t believe in you. They didn’t trust you. Didn’t Need you. Left You. But did you ever stop to think maybe they’re not the problem? It’s you. You drive them away wildcat.

Catra: Why are you doing this?

Double Trouble: It’s for your own good, darling. We both know this is never what you really wanted.

[Double trouble invades Catra’s personal space and uses their shapeshifting skills to make their words even more destabilizing for Catra]

This interaction with Double Trouble along with the invasion of Horde Prime breaks down Catra and allows her to start rethinking what it is she wants [something she asks of Adora to help her later]. However, it also worsens her depression and has her starting to outwardly believe she is broken and worthless. We do see her natural survival instincts kick in and she continues to try to play the villain but it is never something she can stick to. Catra is afraid and confused and doesn’t want to be dragged around. Her ability to bond with Glimmer shows she still can form an attachment to others and a sign that she cares about Etheria and Adora. (Horde Prime & Launch 5x1-2)

Next, we see Horde Prime try to use Catra’s survival instincts against her, pulling on the strings of pain to attempt to get her to give him the information she wants. He uses her leftover connection to Hordak and the threat of physical and spiritual assault to reinforce this survival instinct. Glimmer latches on to Catra’s attachment to Adora and confusion to help get her to make the proper decision asking her

Glimmer: Please Catra, Do one good thing in your life

Catra’s C-PTSD symptoms are triggered badly during this episode as well. She has multiple vivid memories and flashbacks and we see her flipping between multiple arousal states. The first memory scene starts with the aftermath of Catra hitting Lonnie and Adora trying to get her to explain why and apologize offering to protect her. When Adora asks her to apologise triggers her attack response and she scratches Adora’s face. We see a second memory that offers us an insight into the enmeshment between Adora and Catra along with how and why she gained the feeling of never saying sorry.

Adora: It’s [dinner] the grey kind tonight. I know it’s your favorite.

Catra: What are you doing?

Adora: Well if you're missing dinner, then I am, too.

Catra: Just go! Eat with your new best friend, Lonnie!

Adora: Is that why you hit her?

Catra: I know you like her better than me. You’re supposed to be my friend.

Adora: I am your friend, Catra. I’m always going to be your friend. --- You should say sorry to Lonnie. And then we can all be friends.

Catra: [grunting] No.

Adora: Come on, Catra.

Catra: I’ll never say sorry to anybody, ever.

[We see Catra start by getting a protective stance. When Adora tries to approach at first catra pushes her away with her body showing extreme fear. Then as Adora offers comfort we see Catra’s approach memories activate and she snuggles up to Adora. But when she is suggested to apologize and share the attachment and friendship of Adora her fight response kicks in pushing her friends over and running away]

This memory shows that as a child saying sorry already triggered anger and fear in her. Something that we can connect to shying away from attachment and finding admitting fault and weakness scary. Her protective anger is present as well as seeing all of this relational rupture with Adora based in fear of abandonment and loss of Adora. This memory triggers flashbacks in Catra and the past bleeding to the present. Adora’s friendship has her remember her promise to it always being “me and you” and she realises her lack of saying sorry has always been protective, and a cause of problems.

Then Catra makes one of her most important decisions and a huge change in how she perceives herself and interacts with others choosing to save Glimmer, apologizing to Adora and offering herself up for assault, abuse or murder. (Corridors 5x03)

Catra is spiritually and physically abused by Horde prime and her mind is violated. This offers a huge shift in her identity. Catra’s deep self-belief of worthlessness and weak identity is what Horde Prime uses to try and have her believe she wanted the assault and manipulate Adora. However, she pushes back through with Adora’s help (Save The Cat, 5x05). 

Following this Catra protective states of self try to rear their head as her fear of the world and worthlessness has been bolstered and her identity weakened. Adora’s boundaries and kindness, however, remind her why she wanted to shift to vulnerability and having an identity-based in connection and self-worth. She opens up to Adora and her stable identity is reinforced so is an outlook of being there for others versus acting as the abuser she was taught to be. (Taking Control, Shot in the Dark, An Ill Wind, & Return to the Fright Zone, 5x06, 5x08-10)

During Failsafe (5x11) we see her be able to remember that question of what do you want trying to get Adora to see it, but her thoughts of being fundamentally unwanted and worthlessness still get in the way of her being connected to Adora and others. Her connection to Adora and ability to question what she wants and how her identity and needs matter can break through Adora’s dissociated objectified self and suicidal thoughts and save everything with their attachment and love. (Heart pt 1/2 5x12-13)

[saoirsetm]

hey y’all ! i’m kat and we’re FINALLY opening ?!? i’m so hyped, you don’t even know. i’m a double leo Trying to survive video lectures in a noisy house who loves dark chocolate and 80% of the kpop releases so far this year ( stream feel good by fromis_9, it’s such a cute bop ! ) i’m also a cat mom to my almost fourteen year old babies who are still like energetic kittens, so ask for pics and you shall receive DSLKGJ but without further ado, here’s my girl who’s gonna prove that hindsight is INDEED 20/20, so this is gonna be fun:

✧ ˖ * ° ><> ╱  abigail cowen,  cis female,  she/her  —  look  who’s  fresh  from  the  ferry,  aren’t  you  SAOIRSE LEARY  ?  your  eroda  brochure  says  you’re  TWENTY-THREE  and  that  you’re  currently  residing  in  MARMOTON  .  your  favourite  tourist  attraction  to  hang  around  is  ERODIAN BEACH  ,  and  the  locals  around  these  ports  would  describe  you  as  INQUISITIVE  &  INTREPID,  STUBBORN  &  IMPULSIVE  .  your  resting  fish  face  really  gives  off  LONG HAIR BLOWN BACK BY THE OCEAN BREEZE, LATE NIGHTS SPENT PLOTTING THE NEXT GREAT VOYAGE, RED LIPSTICK IMPRINTED ON A MUG OF TEA  ,  and  i’m  a  big  fan  of  the  VINTAGE CELTIC KNOT NECKLACE  you  seem  to  always  be  attached  to.  well,  if  you  see  the  minister  this  morning;  make  sure  you  head  on  home  as  quick  as  possible,  you  never  know  what  bad  luck  he  could  bring.  ╱  ooc;  kat,  23,  she/her,  ast.

tw: needles ( tattoo mention ), cancer mention, death mention

miss saoirse...... oof

GDFLSJL where do i begin with her honestly ??

full name is saoirse eve leary, affectionately called cece by her family since she was young and runs with it as her nickname !

born and raised in cork, ireland with two siblings, a working class father and Slightly upper middle class mother

her childhood wasn’t like, Majorly eventful; she was considered a bit of a tomboy which isn’t a surprise bc she’s always been a bit of a spirited, adventurous girl, has the odd nomadic moment strike her and loves to travel

had a SUPER close relationship with her maternal grandmother before she passed a few years back, still has a close one with her grandfather and paternal grandmother as they’re still living

is a big family girl overall, so much so that she’s eagerly awaiting the day she gets to be the cool aunt

had a decent cluster of pals over the years that’s likely dwindled due to everyone going their separate ways after high school

saoirse Did go to uni between her travels — and graduated — and has aspirations of becoming an anthropologist to explore other cultures and meet new people/understand them

which.. obviously ain’t happening now LFSGJGF rip

came to eroda partially bc it seems like such a pretty and quaint place, partially to explore its “ myth ” that you can never leave; her naturally curious ass questions the whole thing, at least in the sense that there’s no way to challenge your supposed fate on the island and won’t deny entertaining some conspiracy theories around the mystery

she still doesn’t understand that.. yeah, she Literally is stuck here for the rest of her life now, probably because she hasn’t made a Real attempt to put that to the test, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it FDSLKJDS

anyways she came here solo ( more than likely ) and has enjoyed her time getting to know the locals and other visitors, taking in the scenery, etc

probably took up a part-time job at sally’s tavern to cover her expenses since she lives in marmoton and it ought to be close enough for her to get to gfjlsdg

personality and everything else

a sociable, ( relatively ) fearless ginger with an eclectic taste in music and a profound appreciation for pastries.. 

despite being all about cleaner eating habits and lowering her sugar intake, she takes a cheat day or week wherever she can LSDGFJK

parties, game nights, etc, you name it ?? she’s there !

kinda competitive while we’re bringing up games and such, but she’s not about the whole sore winner/loser thing — rather she’ll groan and sulk a little before moving on

like i said before, loves to travel, loves pretty places in general so prepare yourself for an abundance of pictures on her insta feed of where she’s been or where she wants to go

loyal as hell, but she has her limit if you misuse the trust that comes with it

she’s just v wholesome and has a mix of small town city/endlessly curious energy with a sprinkle of being the life of the party……. kinda

however, she’s the most ?? hard to place person all the same

that feeling of freedom that comes with her exploring and all makes her a little hard to tie down; she doesn’t plan on staying in eroda ( which is unfortunate for her considering.... fglsdk ) as she has more to accomplish and see

very much does her own thing and doesn’t wanna hear any criticism for it

as if she’s that out of line DLJGDSLK but still

always wants to try new things, no matter how dumb they might be; except for anything that’s a Legitimate death sentence or is.. a GENUINELY dumb idea, she has enough common sense to know what Not to do KSGFDJDS

has little tattoos on her wrist and behind her left ear for her Favourite trips/symbols/whatever and her family, will let y’all know what they’d be whenever i figure them out since i’m so damn picky with these things

a Big supporter for buying/investing locally, has little trinkets and such to prove it

in fact, she has a collection of thrifted or vintage clothes from her travels and back home, and a chest full of cute jewelry she switches between daily

one piece she wears all the time — only parts with it when she sleeps — is the celtic knot pendant mentioned in her app that’s become something of an heirloom on her mom’s side of the family !

she has the cutest irish lilt in my mind, kinda the same as miss ronan’s and aisling bea’s

really loves her freckles, partially bc i love her freckles and my own :(

tea > coffee, but she loves coffee-flavoured things; bring her a peppermint or camomile tea as her shift winds down or.. idk, just because, and she’ll be forever indebted to you fldjgs

loves to hang out by the water in her free time — she loves the scent and sounds that comes with it, it’s one of the few places where she can put her mind to rest for a bit

the sound of rain hitting a rooftop is her perfect sleep soundtrack

kinda wants to adopt a pet, but doesn’t wanna leave them if she goes on an excursion where they can’t come with her :(

baths with epsom salts, candles that smell like lavender or something just as pleasant and calming, etc during a night in soothes the hell out of her soul

top three products she has in her bag at all times, besides personal info and her phone ? lip balm, a powder spf and mints FGLGKSD

btw.. miss ginger hair and freckles will probably gasp at anyone going out with no spf on them and scold tf out of them bc ‘ hello, melanoma ?? sunburn ?!? ’

wanted connections

childhood pal(s) she’s bumped into: reunited by chance, cece’s glad she has a couple of people she knows to keep her grounded when her mind runs wild at what Might happen when she decides to try her hand at leaving

cousin(s), other relatives: idk, figured it’d be fun for her to have a family member or two running around and not realizing the other relative is the Only one they’ll see in person from here on out

best pal(s) in eroda: someone she’s taken to since arriving, likely spending their free-time eating pastries on the beach, talking shit over tea, little market dates, going to the rainzone half-drunk and trying to rope each other into new things

opposites attract.. of sorts sfdlgkj: basically just a traveler meeting a local who’s never been off eroda, telling all about their ( quite limited ) excursions and bonding in other areas over time !

hook-ups, fwbs.... ENEMIES with benefits?? idk, point is the girl’s probably gotten laid since arriving, it’s all a matter of the situation that fits your muse(s) best FHGSDKJ

roommate: she lives in marmoton, likely in a rental of sorts, and i can’t see her living alone given the situation on the island ( though i’ve viewed her as the type to live alone in a space for one and a half people any other time tbh ). so she has just One and they make the arrangement work ! depending on their personalities and such, we’ll figure out how well they get along Exactly, if at all

ex ??: the girl’s bi so y’all can toss anyone at her for this one as well ! question marks bc i was thinking it’d be an on-and-off thing but maybe not come the time i post this intro LSGKD. basically they were seeing each other for a few months, she fell hard Quick/they moved kinda fast bc they were vibing and they would distance themselves upon realizing this — though i see cece giving them distance bc she knows they need it rather than needing it herself. if it IS on-and-off, they’re definitely off rn and treading lightly ( though she finds it hard to stray and hates things not being fully resolved no matter what happens ?? ), so all it’s a bit angsty regardless of how it goes dfgkljsdg

fellow mystery fiend: someone please fuel her curiosity to the max and try to crack the impossible case of eroda’s captive capabilities with her.. and proceed to watch true crime shows with her when that clearly goes to shit SDFKLJ

older sibling or mentor dynamic: someone to look out for her/teach her some things to help fully support herself/give her advice when she probably needs it most.. idk, i just like the idea of someone becoming a stand-in relative type of friend to her 

just give her someone to confide in, to swim at night with, stargaze and all that cute shit, be it platonically or otherwise !

she’s not gonna click with everyone and that’s fine, BUT maybe they run in the same social circles and cece thinks they seem nice enough, but they never really talk amongst themselves ?? just a case of awkwardly starting from scratch and seeing where it takes us !

[loren-velazquez]

Is that LOREN ‘LV’ VELAZQUEZ? Wow, they do look a lot like PRISCILLA QUINTANA. I hear SHE is a NINETEEN year old FRESHMEN who are studying BUSINESS AND MARKETING at Luxor University. Word is they are a ARISTOCRAT student. You should watch out because they can be FAKE and IMPULSIVE, but on the bright side they can also be AMBITIOUS and SOCIABLE. Ultimately, you’ll get to see it all for yourself!

hello hello, this is my new college demon, loren. this intro got way out of hand, so there is a tl;dr at the bottom for those of you with short attention spans like myself! 

STATS

BASIC INFORMATION

FULL NAME: Loren May Velazquez

NICKNAME(S): LV or Ren

DATE OF BIRTH: March 28th, 2001

AGE: 19

ZODIAC SIGN: Aries

OCCUPATION: College Student

HOMETOWN: Brooklyn, NY (Cobble Hill)

CURRENT RESIDENCE: Luxor Academy

NATIONALITY: Dual American/Swiss Citizenship

ETHNICITY: Half-White, Half-Mexican

LANGUAGE(S): English, Spanish, French, Italian

GENDER & PRONOUNS: She/Her

RELIGION: Catholic but non-practicing 

POLITICAL AFFILIATION: Liberal Democrat

DISCLAIMER: Priscilla Quintana’s ethnicity has not been confirmed, though it is believed she is half-white, half-Mexican, and I casted FCs for her family (and drafted her backstory) accordingly. If she comes out and confirms her ethnicity, I will take it into consideration and make any appropriate edits.

PHYSICAL INFORMATION

FACE CLAIM: Priscilla Quintana

HEIGHT: 5'5"

EYE COLOUR: Green

HAIR COLOUR + STYLE: Dark brown, usually worn blown out 

TATTOO(S): TBD

PIERCING(S: TBD

GLASSES: TBD

PERSONALITY

MBTI TYPE: ESFP

POSITIVE TRAITS: Ambitious, Sociable

NEGATIVE TRAITS: Fake, Impulsive

GOALS/DESIRES:  Loren wants to be both of the Bush twins wrapped up in one. She wants Jenna’s gig as a news anchor, and Barbara’s political/philanthropic/activism endeavors, with a dash of, like, socialite/influencer thrown in.

FEARS: TBD

HOBBIES:  TBD

HABITS:  TBD

SMOKES?: uses a juul bc of course she does

DRINKS?: yes

DRUGS?: occasionally

FAMILY - to be added

LUXOR UNIVERSITY

Major: Business & Marketing

Minor: Politics

Extra-Curriculars: 

Debate Student Council Ballet (Soloist)

SOME FUN FACTS

only child which explains a lot of her ~ issues ~ 

her parents picked out the name loren for their kid regardless of gender, which is why she’s loren and not lauren or laurel or something similar/more traditionally feminine

loren’s father is a semi high-profile politician. he worked in local new york government for awhile and then when she was 13 (6 years ago) he became a senator for new york. his goal is to either become mayor of nyc or governor of new york, and hopefully make a presidential bid at some point

loren’s mother is part of the manesse family (loren’s cousin is zelda reese) and she lost part of her inheritence when she married her father, which doubled the pressure on loren, since it comes from her father’s political ambitions and her mother’s familial obligations 

her family is definitely upper middle class, though not extraordinarily wealthy, but loren is still a bit of a snob. she puts a lot of weight on people’s careers and standing and ambition. 

loren grew up in brooklyn and has spent her whole life in the city. she attended a private high school in nyc as well. 

she took a gap year to do philanthropic work (it looks so good on her resume!!!!) before enrolling at luxor university as a freshman, so she technically is a year older than your typical freshman

she is very much a fake human being. she will pull the regina george ‘oh my god i love that skirt’ and then turn around and ‘that is the fugliest skirt i’ve ever seen’. she acts to everyone’s face like she is the nicest sweetest person and then turns around and talks some  s h i t  if you are in her inner circle 

loren is very outgoing, extroverted, sociable, whatever word you want to use. she has a politician’s charisma from her father, and really can charm the pants off anyone if she wants to. 

she is a big partier, she drinks, occasionally uses drugs (weed/cocaine at most, she typically wouldn’t do things much harder than that)

because of who her father is, she loves to give fake names when she’s out partying and meets a stranger. she’ll invent a whole character rather than give any real details about herself

in fact she doesn’t really give too many details about herself even when she’s not playing a character. she is intensely private about her feelings/thoughts/emotions/anything personal. partially from her father’s career, partially from her being a fake bitch

once you’re one of her friends, she’s ride or die, yo

she is wildly impulsive. she literally can be talked into any stupid ass scheme or plot or idea if you suggest it to her in the right away, and will not pause for a single second to think any sort of aftermath through. 

loren is a ballerina and was fairly dedicated to it through high school, and even though she’s continuing in college, she never considered it more than a hobby as her parent’s expectations made it obvious that was not a viable career path

she idolizes the bush twins even though they’re republicans and her father hates george w. bush. she’ll literally go out buy every single book recommendation on jenna bush hager’s book club and her goal after college is to work with the global health corp (that barbara bush founded). 

she absolutely loves louis vuitton (because she is extremely vain and has loved that their logo is her initials since she was a little girl and she didn’t really understand WHY it was her initials) and she wears it as much as she can, hence the nickname her friends have given her of LV. 

CONNECTION IDEAS

CURRENT CONNECTION: PROXY DEALER - Loren uses but she is SUPER secretive about it. Her father is a politician, so obviously it would be a big deal if something came out about her drinking or doing drugs. This would be a student she trusted who essentially acted as a middle man between her and a dealer because she wouldn’t want to go to one herself

CURRENT CONNECTION: SHOCK VALUE - This could be romantic or platonic! Loren often has moments where she likes to shock her parents, so this would be someone she would bring around that she KNOWS they would disapprove of, just for the shock value and to get a little giggle to herself. TBD if your muse would be aware of this element to their relationship or not.

CURRENT CONNECTION: ARM CANDY - This could be romantic or platonic! This would be someone Loren would bring around her parents when she knows she needs to be on her best behavior/impress them for whatever reason. It most likely would be someone she doesn’t actually enjoy being around all that much, but she keeps that to herself to be able to use them for these situations. TBD if your muse would be aware of this element to their relationship or not. 

CURRENT CONNECTION: FWB/HOOK-UP -  Loren has two significant exes - her high school sweetheart and then the rebound. They both burned her badly, so she’s not about to start dating someone right away. Instead, she just does the casual FWB/hook-ups.

PAST CONNECTION: HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEART - Loren had a high school sweetheart that she broke up with at the beginning of senior year. Most of this would be TBD depending on the muse that was filling the connection. 

TL;DR

loren is a high profile politician’s daughter, with a lot of familial pressure to succeed, which in turn makes her an expert at disappointing her parents. she grew up in brooklyn, went to high school for nyc, and took a gap year before enrolling at luxor university as a freshman. she still has a lot of ambition, even with her insanely impulsive wild child side, and personality wise, she’s a complete regina george. do NOT trust her. 

[it-stheaulifeforme]

40 to 60

awwwwww yiSSSSSSS

40. What is the wildest thing your OC has done?

Not exactly one for being super wild, but they have a habit of underestimating energy drinks and drink quite a few of them, or when they get a particularly good haul they sometimes spend it on cool shiny rocks. They can be quite careless like that, but r o c k s.

41. What is your OCs motto about life?

They don’t tend to have a lot of mottos about life, just trying to take it easy, understand things and see the sights. They try not to worry about the future, life has been out of control enough. They tend to cross bridges when they come to them whilst also being prepared; it’s the past they have problems with. They try and remember what their mother taught them, especially when it comes to using violence. They’re not of the strongest disposition but they’ll only fight when they have to. Life shouldn’t have to be about struggle and suffering, you shouldn’t have to put up unnecessary fights in order to learn and grow. You just gotta take care of yourself.

Of course, when Ego reveals a very horrible truth, violence is pretty much the key, alongside the assertion of human connection and individuality. The latter part is just as important.

42. Does your OC drink coffee or tea?

Coffee, but their eyes usually get caught by energy drinks and interesting sodas. Which certainly gives them an interesting buzz and they really like collecting the cans or bottles. Makes them think of the differences compared back to Earth, which can make them terribly nostalgic.

43. Who is your OCs biggest hero?

Their mother. They have the biggest connection to them and admire them a lot; her values have stayed with them despite everything. They often despair at what happened to her and how things could’ve been, feeling very much cheated but still wanting to carry around her memory and values because she was the most stable figure in their life that meant a great deal. Like anybody would, it becomes absolutely soul destroying that you’re now stuck on a planet alone with a father that killed your mother, where they find even more of a reason to keep her memory and that connection alive, in more ways than one.

44. What colour eyes does your OC have?

They take a lot after their mother and have predominantly hazel-green eyes. I feel it made a lot of sense because they started off as a self insert, and they’re very close to their mother. It very much represents nature and growth as opposed to Ego’s destruction of everything to remake it in his image and it’s very clear that they’re not whatsoever like their father at all, in the end. I thought this would be suitable symbolism where we get to see a real growth in their abilities and more of an understanding of a connection with their mother.

45. Does your OC like reading?

Since they’re usually cruising space in their own ship, it’s one thing they like to do. Apart from listen to their music, they manage to have one book from Earth that was in their bag when they were abducted and that’s the War of the Worlds (in a clearly more battered condition) which their mother bought for them after they got interested in the musical version. It takes their mind off of things, which browsing libraries on different planets also happens to do. Especially Xandar, which they found to be the most peaceful and easy to reside in.

46. Is your OC loyal?

Well...they have enough trust issues and they’re more of a loner, so it’d take a lot for them to be convinced before loyalty comes into it. They’re already cynical enough by the time when they meet Ego, especially since they have a sense they aren’t aware of them not feeling great when someone of a particularly evil nature is nearby (which they always chalked up to allergies or eating the wrong thing - it’s not so bad in general but since Ego is on such a terrible level of evil they don’t suspect any connection until it’s too late). It probably helps that they’re only half Celestial but get more from their mother (which is symbolic in of itself that they were the ones that inherited the gene and somehow still get a good deal from their mother, that clearly meant something).

So, frankly, they’d rather avoid the company of others in general, and a whole lot of repressed feelings and trust issues just kinda explode out by the time they’re with Ego. There’s a lot of trauma they’ve had to deal with, and that’s hard enough when you’re travelling around the universe learning to survive and get on with things.

47. Does your OC tolerate violence?

Answered in this post.

48. What social class is your OC from?

I don’t know how our distinction between classes on Earth applies to outer space or different planets for that instance, but they’d be the equivalent of working class. A lot of the time they find space junk and get some of the profit in selling it; it’s just a case of making enough to get by and frankly they’re fine with that. There’s a lot they’d rather be doing but they need the money like anybody else. It doesn’t help the kind of rough environment they entered when they got abducted.

49. What country was your OC born in?

The south of England. Their mother was originally from the US and met Ego the first couple of times but had to leave with her family to the UK (she was in her early 20s and she was having problems finding work) and it was there she found out she was expecting and ended up having them there. She did see him the next couple of times when he came over after they were born but he said he eventually had to leave, even making the (broken) promise to come over and they’d go back together.

50. Does your OC cry easily?

Usually, but they had to learn to hide it when they got abducted, so they ended up managing to do much of it in their sleep. It was tolerated to an extent but they ended up keeping a lot to themselves because it made more sense that way. On their own ship they do end up crying a whole lot when interacting with much of their mother’s stuff they still held onto and a whole lot of it really comes out when they find out the truth about Ego. They do cry beforehand, out of anger, wistfulness and wanting to understand, but that all gets thrown out of the window and all the pain gets directed at him in the end. So frankly, though they’ve had to hide it a lot, it never went away and they are certainly a very emotional person.

51. What is your OCs favourite genre of music?

They don’t have a specific genre but they are partial to acoustic and rock, usually heavy, sometimes classic but especially pop rock.

52. How does your OC feel about insects?

They’re alright but they can be annoying. Especially when you’re travelling around in space, the breeds can get quite...interesting, so they’d rather stay far away from them. They weren’t the biggest fan of them on Earth but left them alone to do their own thing, although they did make an exception for butterflies.

53. What is your OCs sexual orientation?

Asexual. They’ve never really felt that spark with someone and is frankly kinda repulsed at the idea of sex, so they find other things to do. They prefer listening to music, reading and spending time at libraries at different planets, preferably Xandar. Which also takes their mind off of things. Though that doesn’t eveh take into account their own loner status and trust issues; they’ve just not felt that connection with anybody and would preferably not get involved anyway.

54. Does your OC smoke?

Never. Their mother was the first they learnt not to do it from and no matter what from that point on they never felt the need to. They had more than enough to deal with without taking up smoking.

55. What gender is your OC?

Nonbinary but leans towards a more masculine presentation. It took them a while to figure it out but frankly they were really in over their head with a lot of things, so they didn’t figure it out properly until they were more or less out of the environment they were abducted into. They were still pretty much dressing more gender neutral/masculine before then, but they eventually found a safer space to understand themselves.

Of course, this still really leaves them open to misgendering; they prefer they/them pronouns but don’t mind he/him; unfortunately they have been mistaken for female and been referred to with she/her pronouns which can be grating at the very least. Ego is the worst culprit as per usual, as even if he only becomes slightly aware, he can be kinda patronising about it and when the truth is revealed and hell breaks loose, he’s way more malicious about it.

56. What kind of clothes does your OC wear?

Always keen on them jeans and trainers, but often swaps out t-shirts and jumpers depending on how they feel. Leather jackets are a go to but they’re just as keen on wearing hoodies. They also find it really nice to wear fingerless gloves and when we find them when they see Ego, they’re wearing what looks like the equivalent of a bandana to keep the hair out of their eyes - it’s only later when they realise how sick they are of everything and let out a lot of repressed emotion that they just fucking---cut it off. But that’s their usual stuff - casual as hell, but we see a particular change in appearance when things really take a turn for the absolute WORST.

57. Would you call your OC adventurous?

Probably. They do like planet hopping and cruising around, even if they prefer to stick to some more favoured places like Xandar and their own ship. They just wanna be left alone and do their own thing. They just want to have that freedom away from things and find their own peace.

58. Is your OC introverted or extroverted?

Introverted. They predominantly find energy more or less by themselves and feel restless in social situations. Not that they mind it, but they prefer getting on with things by themselves just fine. Besides, they’re wary enough of things without getting involved in deep conversations and suchlike, generally. It takes a lot.

59. What is the first thing someone would notice about your OC?

They’re generally shorter and keep to themselves as they walk around, carrying headphones around their neck.

60. Does your OC enjoy nature?

Generally. When they were back on Earth, they used to go for a lot of walks in the country with their mother, especially since they were right near a whole lot of countryside. They haven’t managed to find the same feeling since, especially since they’re wary about the species on different alien planets. It was a whole different feeling on Ego’s planet though, which really took their fancy before...everything happened.

[strategemme]

I THINK WITH MY HEART AND I MOVE WITH MY HEAD

EMMELINE VANCE: Character Task No. 1

𝖖 𝖚 𝖔 𝖙 𝖊 𝖘

The lion cannot protect himself from traps, and the fox cannot defend himself from wolves. One must therefore be a fox to recognize traps, and a lion to frighten wolves. I don't trust society to protect us, I have no intention of placing my fate in the hands of men whose only qualification is that they managed to con a block of people to vote for them. They used to say that if Man was meant to fly, he’d have wings. But he did fly. He discovered he had to. There are things that have to be done and you do them and you never talk about them. You don't try to justify them. They can't be justified. You just do them. Then you forget it. Due to personal reasons, I will be performing vigilante justice. 

𝖇 𝖆 𝖘 𝖎 𝖈

NAME: Emmeline L. Vance; there isn’t a soul (presently) alive that knows what the “L” stands for. NICKNAMES: Em; other abbreviations of her name are generally acceptable as long as you don’t try to call her Emmie.  AGE: 22 BIRTHDAY: August 27, 1957 GENDER: Female PRONOUNS: She/Her

𝖋 𝖆 𝖒 𝖎 𝖑 𝖞

MOTHER: Florence Vance neé Chevalier ( 50 ) { born in France, moved to England after marrying Devon } // muggle  FATHER: Col. Devon Vance ( 57 ) { recently retired from the British Army } // muggle  SIBLINGS: Anthony Vance ( 28 ) { named after a dear friend of Devon’s that was killed during the Second World War } // muggle 

𝖕 𝖍 𝖞 𝖘 𝖎 𝖈 𝖆 𝖑 𝖆𝖙𝖙𝖗𝖎𝖇𝖚𝖙𝖊𝖘

FACE CLAIM: Demet Özdemir BUILD: Average height, athletic HAIR: Long, worn in waves on nights requiring effort and otherwise tossed into a bun   HAIR COLOR: Brunette EYE COLOR: Brown SKIN COLOR: Tan DOMINANT HAND: Right { she’s pitiful when it comes to her left hand }  ANOMALIES: (1) Scar across her left palm from making a blood-pact as a ten year old; it’s so faded now that you can only catch a gleam of silver in the bright sun. (2) Various small burns across her hands and forearms from healing poultices gone askew. SCENT: Vanilla and cedar wood; she’s worn the same perfume since her Hogwarts  ACCENT: Standard English  ALLERGIES: Cats  DISORDERS: Insomnia; she’s always attributed it to a general pace of “too much to do and too little time,” but there are nights when all she wants to do is collapse into her bed yet finds herself condemned to staring at the ceiling; many people make the mistake of believing that she doesn’t need sleep to operate, but her history of errors speaks otherwise.  FASHION: She spends far more time in lime green robes than she cares for, and thus compensates with a wardrobe full of neutral colors. She still feels more comfortable in muggle attire than wizarding robes, and thus is seen frequently in various combinations of jeans, blouses, and boots.  NERVOUS TICS: After years of having her tics evaluated and erased, Emmeline has largely eradicated any tells of nervousness. Old habits die hard, however, and with the stress of the war mounting, she’s falling back into drumming her index and middle finger on any solid surface capable of absorbing her anxiety. As she’s assumed a leadership position, she’s also taken up the habit of pacing while waiting for her teams of tier three operatives to return.  QUIRKS: (1) With the current travel restrictions, Emmeline has fallen back into driving. She learned during one of her summers away from Hogwarts, and her trusty Vauxhall Viva has carried her across Britain and back several times over. (2) When approach Diagon Alley for pleasure, Emmeline prefers to enter through the Leaky Cauldron. There’s something symbolic about crossing from Muggle to Wizarding London. (3) If Emmeline starts something, she has to finish. It doesn’t matter how long it takes, she cannot abandon a task already underway. It is one of the reasons she spends so long planning: planning necessitates time and distance while action must be immediate. 

𝖑 𝖎 𝖋 𝖊 𝖘 𝖙 𝖞 𝖑 𝖊

RESIDES: Puddlemere, England { London has always been home, and her work at St. Mungo’s frequently brings her into the city. But as war rears its head, Emmeline has opted for more strategic ground. The community of Puddlemere is welcoming to muggleborns, and her proximity to other Order members offers safety that could never be found in city streets. } BORN: London, England  RAISED: Too many places to count, though Emmeline isn’t partial to declaring military barracks as her hometown. Jokingly, she’ll say that Hogwarts was the most permanent home she had while growing up. More seriously, she’ll consider herself a Londoner.  PETS: A tawny owl named Machiavelli, though she considers him more of a useful friend than a pet.  CAREER: Healer { additionally, a vigilante; she offers free... how shall we say.. r e t r i b u t i o n to muggleborn and half-blood families that need a little extra muscle, be it of the offensive or defensive sort. } EXPERIENCE: In the medical field, Emmeline has specialized in accident and emergency, though it seems every Witch or Wizard only deems medical care necessary in such cases. Outside St. Mungo’s, she has frequented several underground dueling clubs to keep her skills sharp.  EMPLOYER: St. Mungo’s POLITICAL AFFILIATION: The Order of the Phoenix  BELIEFS: The the Wizarding community is in desperate need of some muggle influence (preventative medicine, to start, but automobiles, microwaves, and telephones would be a wonderful addition). The motivation of purebloods to eradicate such influence only keeps the community from advancing and reaching full potential, and the mounting war is representative of the collision between the old world and the new. (That said, she’s strongly of the belief that no one should have to die while seeking out inclusivity.)  MISDEMEANORS: Nothing that has found its way onto her record.  FELONIES: Being a muggleborn is starting to damn well feel like one.  DRUGS: Never. As much as Emmeline has a tendency to lock herself within her mind, she has yet to seek out drugs as a key.  SMOKES: Unfortunately. She knows she shouldn’t, but nicotine is often the only thing capable of taking the edge off and stimulating her focus at the same time. It’s a necessary evil, and her pocket is rarely without a pack  ALCOHOL: A taste for scotch runs in the family, and it’s often one of the most expensive items on her list of expenses for the month. She refuses to touch it while in the process of acting, but it plays a large role in her planning stages.  DIET: Emmeline never managed to find the time to take up cooking, and as such, she depends on local takeout.  LANGUAGES: English, French  PHOBIAS: Deep water { she adores swimming, but will never go so deep that her toes can’t graze the bottom } ; failure { a common fear, but many years passed where she refused to speak up in class because her fear of being wrong was greater than her confidence in being right; now those days have passed and she’s perhaps too passionately outspoken, but if she isn’t complete convinced of something, the words will never pass her lips } ; death { she’s grazed the reaper more times than she can count, either in her own life or accompanying the paths of others. still, she can’t imagine what it would be like to see her own funeral. she acts with certainty and confidence, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t fear what is on the other side of that bright green flash. } HOBBIES: Reading, board games or cards, camping, pick-up games of very, very, very amateur Quidditch  TRAITS: I never dreamed about success; I worked for it.  { + }: Hardworking, clever, frequently compassionate (but...) { - }: Occasionally apathetic, subconsciously manipulative, righteous 

𝖋 𝖆 𝖛 𝖔 𝖗 𝖎 𝖙 𝖊 𝖘

LOCATION: Diagon Alley; it is the place where she first felt that her magic was a blessing rather than a curse, and it continues to instill that childlike hope in her whenever she visits. It’s one of the few bright places remaining.  SPORTS TEAM: Puddlemere United, naturally. She’s only recently moved to Puddlemere, but she has a long history of training Mediwitches and Mediwizards during Puddlemere’s practices and matches, and as such has brushed shoulders with the team just enough to be emotionally invested in their success.  GAME: Chess (of either the muggle or wizarding variety)  MUSIC: She knows the correct answer to this is anything orchestral, yet Goodbye Yellowbrick Road is the most frequently-played record in her flat.  MOVIES: The Godfather, Patton, Saturday Night Fever FOOD: Her mother’s Beef Wellington. She’s yet to find its rival.  BEVERAGE: Scotch, Earl Grey COLOR: Light green (but certainly not lime, damn those robes) 

𝖒 𝖆 𝖌 𝖎 𝖈

ALUMNI HOUSE: Ravenclaw  WAND (length, flexibility, wood, & core): 11.25in, sturdy, redwood, dragon heartstring AMORTENTIA: Leather, incense, cotton  PATRONUS: Hawk  BOGGART: The visage of the first patient that died due to her negligence. It isn’t an exact replica from her memories, but one that is in the process of decomposing. It’s propped up in a bed like the ones populating St. Mungo’s. 

𝖈 𝖍 𝖆 𝖗 𝖆 𝖈 𝖙 𝖊 𝖗

MORAL ALIGNMENT: Neutral good  MBTI: ENTJ MBTI ROLE: Analyst ENNEAGRAM: Type 8  ENNEAGRAM ROLE: The Achiever  TEMPERAMENT: Choleric WESTERN ZODIAC: Virgo  CHINESE ZODIAC: Rooster PRIMAL SIGN: Corgi TAROT CARD: The Chariot TV TROPES: Lady of War, Female Empowerment Song, Historical In-Joke, Showing Up Chauvinists  SONGS: Tongues -- Joywave // History Has Its Eyes on You -- Christopher Jackson // Come With Me Now -- KONGOS // Vindicated -- Dashboard Confessional // Baba O’Riley -- The Who // Vienna -- Billy Joel // Machine -- MisterWives // Kill Your Heroes -- AWOLNATION // Sabotage -- Beastie Boys 

𝖎 𝖉 𝖊 𝖔 𝖑 𝖔 𝖌 𝖎 𝖊 𝖘

Muggle influence will do more good for the wizarding world than it ever will harm

Encourages second chances but condemns those that require a third 

People should expect to get out of the world what they put in (no more, no less) 

Violence should be a last resort, but damn if it isn’t a definitive one

Those that are neutral in a time of oppression have chosen the side of the oppressor 

Sugar has no right to be in coffee or tea 

History repeats itself; if you can’t find a parallel within the pages of history books, the situation simply hasn’t developed thoroughly enough yet 

Cheap scotch is worse than sewer water 

[whatwewrotepodcast]

Character Profile - Ithuriel

Basic Statistics  

Name: Ithuriel Age: 6 months or eternity, depends how you look at it Nationality: Currently American, formally Divine Socioeconomic Level as a child: N/A Socioeconomic Level as an adult: Low Hometown: Heaven Current Residence: Brooklyn, New York Occupation: Enforcer for Raif Income: N/A Talents/Skills: Proficient with a range of hand guns, good aim, also competent in hand-to-hand fighting, and the use of a spear in both ranged and hand-to-hand combat.   Salary: N/A Birth order: 3rd of 7 Siblings (describe relationship): Technically the other 6 Arc Angels are his brothers and sisters. Previously a good relationship with most of them, though he was closest to Gabriel, Amitiel and Raphael, however his relationship with Gabriel suffered after his fall.   Spouse (describe relationship): N/A Children (describe relationship): N/A Grandparents (describe relationship): N/A Grandchildren (describe relationship): N/A Significant Others (describe relationship): N/A at commencement of TSC Relationship skills: Ithuriel’s relationship skills are not the best. He has a tendency to be prickly and overreactive, and often blows things out of proportion. He can be shy and reserved and hard to get to know. He makes up for these deficits by being a genuinely kind, warm person who never intends to hurt anyone, and generally feels guilty when his actions adversely affect those he cares about.  

More beneath the cut

Physical Characteristics:  Height: 6’2” Weight: 110kg Race: Caucasian   Eye Colour: Golden Hair Colour: Dirty/Dark blonde Glasses or contact lenses? No Skin colour: Fair, but with a bit of a golden hint, tans easily Shape of Face: Sharp, strong jawline, high cheekbones, long, straight nose. Overall impression of hard, clean lines, very little softness.   Distinguishing features: Two large, nasty scars down his back, from shoulders to hips. A pair of stylised Angel wings tattooed on the inside of his left wrist and a tattoo of an ornate spearhead on the inside of his right forearm.   How does he/she dress? Jeans, usually fairly loose cut, blue. Black or grey long-sleeved shirts or t-shirts. Black trench coat, military style boots, a scarf if it’s cold. Always muted tones though, never wears colour, always black/white/grey.   Mannerisms: Often runs his fingers through his hair when he’s troubled. Pinches the bridge of his nose when he’s thinking hard or when things are driving him to frustration.   Habits: (smoking, drinking etc.) Has a fondness for chocolate, but nothing that really counts as a habit per se.   Health: About as good as can be. More than human. Doesn’t suffer from most human illnesses or diseases, has improved healing from injury and is able to survive with less food, water and rest than the average human.   Hobbies: Currently doesn’t really have hobbies, though he does like to people watch. Favourite Sayings: N/A Speech patterns: Tends towards overly formal language, doesn’t use a lot of contractions, does have a New York accent but it’s towards the more upper class end of the scale, and sometimes veers into a very generic, hard to locate sort of American accent.   Disabilities: N/A   Style (Elegant, shabby etc.): Professionally broody chic. Tends towards the shabby side though.   Greatest flaw: His short temper. He had a propensity to explode over minor issues, has a very short fuse, and often says things in fits of anger that he later regrets.   Best quality: A genuine kindness and love for humanity.   Intellectual/Mental/Personality Attributes and Attitudes  Educational Background: None Intelligence Level: Technically very high – he’s an Angel and so has divine intelligence, but his lack of experience in the world means most of the time that intelligence is of very little use to him as it hasn’t got anything to back it up.   Any Mental Illnesses? Technically no, though it could be argued he has a bit of PTSD about his Fall.   Learning Experiences: Everything is a learning experience for Ith. He’s been living on earth for just over 6 months and so everything, from learning how to safely cross the road to making toast are learning experiences of him.   Character's short-term goals in life: Work off his debt to Raif and be able to live his life free of debt and restrictions.   Character's long-term goals in life: Get back to Heaven.   How does Character see himself/herself? Ithuriel has a pretty complicated relationship with himself. On the one hand, he’s quite proud. He was an arc, and as such had quite a high opinion of himself. He was very powerful, there were few who could tell him what to do or how to do it. He was convinced of his own righteousness. However, since his Fall, his sense of worth took a bit of a hit. He still sees himself as ‘better’ than most humans, more moral, more ethical, but he also fell, and that took some of the wind out of his sails. He is now conflicted about who he is and what his existence means, and where he stands in the world.   How does Character believe he/she is perceived by others? Ithuriel doesn’t think much of how other people see him, especially at the start of the story. He doesn’t think much about other people’s internal worlds. However, as he develops, he does start to worry that people think of him as a bit stuffy, a bit uncool, and a bit overly righteous.   How self-confident is the character? Initially very, but he lost a lot of faith in himself and his ability to make the right decisions when he Fell.   Does the character seem ruled by emotion or logic or some combination thereof? Definitely ruled by emotion – probably one of his greatest flaws is letting his feelings get in the way of making the sensible, logical decision.   What would most embarrass this character? Any reference towards sexuality or sexual activity, especially towards the start of the story.   Emotional Characteristics Introvert or Extrovert? Introvert How does the character deal with anger? Very, very badly. Mostly by letting it explode all over the place. He has a short fuse.   With sadness? He lets himself feel it, but only within himself. He doesn’t tend towards being demonstrative about his emotions.   With conflict? Again, not well. He tends to shout first and think later.   With change? He’s gone through a lot of changes recently and considering the magnitude of them, he coped remarkably well. That said, he did struggle a lot with readjusting to his new role in life.   With loss? By suppressing it until it bursts out of him in explosions of jealousy towards those who have that which he has lost.   What does the character want out of life? At the moment, he’s just trying to do with best with what he has.   What would the character like to change in his/her life? He would go back to Heaven and get his wings back.   What motivates this character? Partially the desire to get back to Heaven, though he rarely admits it to himself. Mostly a deeply in-ground sense of what is right and what is wrong and the desire to correct the wrongs and do the right thing.   What frightens this character? The idea of dying alone, in a strange world, and going to Hell. The thought of becoming corrupted and evil and losing the parts of him he sees as ‘good’.   What makes this character happy? Simple things such as chocolate, watching people who are happy, the feeling that he has made the right decisions, Merry.   Is the character judgmental of others? Oh boy yes. Incredibly judgemental, though often he feels a bit bad about his original impressions once he gets to know people.   Is the character generous or stingy? Generous.   Is the character generally polite or rude? He likes to think he’s polite, but often he can be a bit rude, in part because he doesn’t understand social cues very well and in part because he’s just a bit brusque and too self important to worry about the ‘niceties’.   Spiritual Characteristics Does the character believe in God? God literally created him and he knows Him personally, so yah he does.   What are the character's spiritual beliefs? He doesn’t have beliefs, he has knowledge.   Is religion or spirituality a part of this character's life? Not really, because Ith doesn’t need to ‘believe’ in things. He knows and understands the truth of the world and the Heavens so it’s not a spiritual experience for him, it’s just his reality.   If so, what role does it play? N/A How the Character is Involved in the Story  Character's role in the novel (main character? hero? heroine? Romantic interest? etc.): Hero/Romantic interest   Scene where character first appears:  

Ithuriel shifted his weight, pins and needles tingling down his legs. He sighed, a brief allowance of impatience.  He was crouching uncomfortably on the edge of a low building, his gaze fixed on the dark street below. It was nearing dawn and the streets were empty with the early morning hush. A biting breeze was whistling around the edges of the stout brick buildings, its prying fingers reaching under coats, lifting hats, and chilling blood. He turned the collar of his heavy trench coat up against the cold, but didn’t dare shift his position. In the quiet, even the slightest of sounds would carry. He’d been hunched on the exposed rooftop for hours now, and he was damned if he was going to risk startling his quarry for the sake of a moment’s release.    

Relationships with other characters: 1. Merry -- (Describe relationship with this character and changes to relationship over the course of the novel).

Ithuriel initially sees Merry as a bit of a helpless human in need of rescuing, though it doesn’t take long before he begins to see her as more of an important tool to use against Moloch. He’s bemused by her and the often flippant attitude she takes towards life. She’s the first human he’s had prolonged contact with and she forces him to re-evaluate the way in which he perceives humans and accept them as individuals rather than one sort of mass that he can judge all together. As they get to know each other better, Ithuriel starts to respect Merry’s independent nature and her bravery in the face of a world that’s much bigger than anything she ever knew before. This respect soon turns to friendship before developing into something deeper.  

2. Belial: -- (Describe relationship with this character and changes to relationship over the course of the novel).

Ithuriel’s relationship with Belial is initially antagonistic. Ithuriel fears becoming what he sees in Belial and as a result tries to push Belial to be better to assuage his own fears of losing himself without hope of return. It quickly becomes important to Ithuriel that Belial choose the right side though this is primarily a reflection of his insecurities. Belial becomes a proxy through which he tries to convince himself that he can still be saved. Over time, this attitude shifts towards a genuine desire to see Belial save himself, and an appreciation for who Belial is as a person.   How character is different at the end of the novel from when the novel began: 

Ithuriel’s arc is one of coming to accept his new existence and appreciate the grey areas that make life so interesting. He begins to see the value in people and the ways in which they can be good and worthwhile without having to adhere to a strict sense of morality. By the end, he has come to realise that humanity is worth saving because of the intrinsic value of life, and all the beauty and wonder that humanity has created.  

[choric]

( park jimin - demimale, he/they ) — did you see noeul han walking down the street? the twenty-three year old has lived here for three weeks. i heard they’re an aspiring painter & a part-time barista now, time sure flies. gooey by glass animals always did remind of them, maybe it’s because they’re so audacious & charitable. though i did hear they can also be commanding & capricious if you catch them on a bad day.

hey babes drum-roll it’s admin fany here to welcome yall~ with some random info about me I guess uh so I’m 26, living in northern europe, most of the time dying bc I’m not made for these hot ass summers, other times just being distracted twelve times outta ten jsyk I’m not ignoring anyone my attention span is just in the negatives. or I’m playing overwatch. or subnautica when I’m feeling particularly masochistic.  would drop dead without tea. ye. that’s all for today folks

anyway here’s Noeul’s profile if you wanna peep also a very messy plot page aaaand I’m gonna ramble about him now uwu

tw: emotional abuse, tw: assault ( kinda brief mentions, esp the assault, I tried keeping it safe )

born in Seoul but his family moved to USA when he was barely 6. they moved around a l o t since then but stayed within the borders. save for one weird year in France back in 2010

he haTED it. all the constant moving around and starting at new schools with new people trying to get new friends and find new hobbies and leaving pretty much everything behind so often just stressed the hell out of his young self and he was in a perpetual state of over-emotional about the whole ordeal and angry and bitter and yeah. not having a good time

over the years he managed to find ways to cope with it, drawing and painting being a major thing as it was one of very few things he could just continue without any special arrangements made or it feeling different. putting all that bent up negativity on paper was helpful in itself so he stuck with it without much thought then, clinging into a lifeline of one constant in a sea of variables

later on it morphed from being less of a therapeutic activity and more one of him being able just flow with creativity, paint with a less personal agenda and enjoy it way more too ( not to say he doesn't still use it as a form of escapism too )

reading was another thing he found enjoyment in, especially during his early teenage years. that is something he doesn't engage that often in anymore however

his parents didn’t really care about what hobbies he took on ( even with painting carrying throughout the years he ended up trying a whole slew of other things too ) until it became apparent he was actually considering art as a legit career path. neither agreed it being a good idea but they didn’t flat out deny him either.. just were very patronising about it for months and by that time he had come to actual decision of going through with it out of pettiness alone lmao. which of course served nothing but to legit piss them off and led to a number of arguments they still have to this day yikes

his parents entire view on life seemed to be there was no point getting attached to anything, sentimentality was a flaw and you could just buy everything you needed again without much care for what was left behind. especially his mom had a lot of emotionally abusive ways to steer his life in the direction she wanted, but giving just enough freedom for him to think he had a say in anything. not to say she wasn’t supportive and encouraging too but he honest to god can’t tell now how much of it was genuine. she was especially fond of using subtle blackmail in form of referring to her own feelings and how his actions will upset her, occasionally bursting into a loud tirade which was then quickly pushed to the side without any apologies for making him in turn upset so boy was always just on edge. this still happens but he pretty much only communicates with her through calls anymore so, Noeul just hangs up when she starts acting up. his dad was more the type to not involve himself into his hobbies and likes or anything at all he only cared about academic plans.

that all messed him up big time in his younger years bc he was inherently just very attached to everything and everyone but now.. it’s almost the complete opposite, enough repetition and shit will stick I guess cause he has next to no sentimental feelings towards anything, in turn actually loves travelling and meeting new people now. partially also cause he doesn’t feel obligated to uphold anything or allow himself being chained down, he treats everything like it’s fleeting, but not without care– don’t assume he doesn’t care when that’s something he does in abundance actually. he just.. accepts nothing lasts forever. ironic enough he’s adopted far too many of his parent’s habits to count now but has grown more tender with the experiences rather than cold. probably a miracle in itself. hella guarded about his feelings tho

so yeah he moved to LA ( parents were at the time both living in NYC ) for art school and got that bachelor of fine arts degree, graduating just spring last year and has no desire to further those studies cause screw school he’s done with institutions for a decade

also his parents filed for divorce while he was at it. before he was even done with freshman year. wasn’t all too surprising nor did he have anything to really say about it, except the times mom called him whilst drunk and essentially blamed it on him being a bad son :/// his dad’s fucked off somewhere he hasn’t heard whole lot from him in last three years beside birthday texts and money transfers to his bank account. and subtle messages through mom about how he expects him to clean up one of these days. meanwhile mom mostly contacts just to check he’s alive & doing well financially while slipping in vague ‘if you would have just listened to me‘s and ‘when will you come to your senses’s >_>

forgot to mention his dad’s a CEO of a small airline company. don’t ask me what his mom does idk prob some manager of a huge ass successful online shop?? something along those lines

will not speak about them if asked tbh don't expect anything other than "they're alive."

does not like announcing his ( their ) wealth to the world either and tries not to make decisions that could reflect that but something always has to give in the end. like he’s just way too happy to blow money on other people no matter how subtle he tries to be about it and often like his parents buys new stuff instead of finding ways to bring his old along, some of his clothes are also a dead giveaway it’s not so much that he specifically purchases anything cause it’s designer but if it looks nice he doesn’t see it as any different buying from any other store around. smells awfully lot like privilege but he’s unapologetic in getting exactly what he wants, it’s not his problem if someone takes offence to that

kind of also hates that he’s so dependant on parent’s money still but has made peace with it by giving away and works twice as hard for his own stuff, regardless if it yields anything cause he’s not doing this whole painting thing as a means to gain money ( would like to, but alas, it’s a tricky career path ) more from pure passion for the art

and noeul def is not gonna tell them to stop sending him cash he'll just have fun spending it in all the shit they'd hate-- even if they've basically set conditions but weird enough haven't cut him off yet.  guess that really is the only thing they can give him and they know it too :)) 

so. doesn’t actually like sitting idle even tho he all but could, yet cannot happily place himself in an establishment with very strict 9 to 5 shifts and such, so if and when he takes on extra work occasionally it’s always part-time, and for own personal gratification

in the case of him recently taking on a spot as a part-time barista here in acarike ( started like, two days ago or something ) was also bc of keeping up appearances ( surely he would run out of money eventually? no, but no one needs to know that ) and getting to know some of the people around since his group of road-tripping friends have seriously decided to settle in

if anyone was wondering yes he has experience working in cafes, among other places. his parents abhorred him taking on such jobs at all cause “what was the point? are we not providing enough?” first of all did he ask?

I guess he is currently residing in the stardust motel?? but is looking for a place

for him travelling in the past few years has been sorta cathartic, inspiring if I dare say both in personal growth and in his work since he can decide on everything by himself, where he wants to go, for how long, for why etc

sometimes likes when he has company for that, other times he just needs to make a trip in solitary. altogether prefers meeting random people along the way

is a kind of odd friend, loyal, compassionate and all that but puts himself before anyone else. or rather puts his emotional and other needs before everything else. if he feels you’re the one getting more out of it than he is it’s not worth it sorry. very generous tho and sees it as his duty to help others in any way if it doesn’t inconvenience him. not unreliable but available only when it suits him. so unless it’s life threatening or emotional distress he will not drop everything for even a friend’s sake you can wait an hour or two. can make friends as quick as he drops them

might get a little inappropriately affectionate with friends. especially so when intoxicated

is an even weirder lover. he loves the idea and feeling of being in love and the emotional thrill of it. relationships are fun yeah but commitment?? not in his. vocabulary. to elaborate he lives for the push and pull and the suspense of it all and needs things to stay stimulating on all levels across the board when deepening relationships further while also being able to maintain a sense of own freedom. he craves the sort of emotional security and gratification it all brings but refuses to become dependant on it ( he knows how that will go ), furthermore does not like all the limitations it brings nor everything being perfect to the point of feeling fake??

tries to make it clear that he’s NOT looking for anything long term but even then people haven’t taken it well when he out of the blue announces they should stop whatever it is they’re doing. he always feels bad about it and tries to part in good terms but yeah :// many hearts have been broken. it’s probably even worse for the other person cause Noeul himself seems to have absolutely no problem continuing his life like nothing happened. all this has made him into a bit of a serial dater??

in whole he takes everything as they are, nothing is everlasting and he doesn’t try to make it so, doesn’t necessarily want to. values experiences but doesn’t get too hung up on letting go of them. including relationships. this is something a lot of people in his life wont understand and it’s frustrating for everyone involved sometimes but you gotta do what you gotta do. might be scared of opening up to people. of that attachment. maybe he’s actually just picky and is waiting for something out of the world magical who knows

repels all negativity as if his life depended on it like. add begone thot meme here

but can also be very confrontational so???

is actually in constant war with himself over positive and negative emotions but filters that out pretty handily. most of the time. cause uh absolutely will turn vicious and loud when angry. sensitive to criticism and personal attacks but gets over it quick enough. does hold grudges but mainly towards people whose opinion he cares about. strangers rarely phase him. has random emotion™ bursts but tbh only cries when being shouted at and/or being target of someone’s wrath-- OR when noeul's angry himself?? also lowkey dramatic but most of the time he’s just sorta chill and cheery, occasionally sarcastic but in a good-natured way he doesn’t mean ill with it. has very strong opinions on some things but doesn’t care if someone else sees it differently. as long as they’re not saying their way is the only right way. or if their reasoning is utter bullshit which he will call out then :))

negative people just make him laugh. will not take your ass seriously at all if you’re being a douche. used to take offence to these kinds of people all the time but he’s grown out of it and learned to simply ignore people who don’t deserve the time of his day. at least outwardly.

similarly used to be very.. well. lets say prone to letting people control and push him around cause that’s what he had learned to accept but whoo boy when he finally figured it out and took the reigns into own hands no one could stop him try it bitch

likes doing things in own terms in general, need for control has kinda taken off so will not take kindly to being ordered around in any manner. tries not to impose on other people or be pushy himself but cannot stand indecisiveness so. it happens. for better or for worse

in tune with his surroundings and current community of people if something’s off he can sense it and it will bug him to no end before it’s fixed. this could be anything from his room being in disarray to something going on in the city in whole

I ain’t saying he’s a psychic but actually stupid intuitive most cases WILL see through your bullshit don’t even try

…ok but lowkey into supernatural stuff and spirituality all that jazz he’s gone through it all while trying to find himself– which is a whole another can of worms we ain’t opening here

did I forget to mention noeul and co ( minho & jae ) rolled into town in this shiny big rv. he's def looking to buy a smaller car to drive around

not too keen on giving rides to strangers since this one time two summers ago that went south real fast when a guy pulled a knife on him. has a pretty big scar to show for it on his right side? tummy?? there’s a pic in the profile page if you’re curious. he jokes about it now "it adds character" but is actually terrified of that happening again so perpetually jumpy minho blames himself for it cause he's dumb

you can prob hear him coming 5 miles away with the amount of jewellery he adorns

don’t get me started on his wardrobe it’s a mixed bag and then some. gender norms belong into the fiery pits of a volcano

is equal parts a tea & coffee enthusiast basically lives off that stuff. i'm probably not even exaggerating here boy forgets to eat when he gets focused on something and just wolfs down a pot of coffee.

obsessed with watermelon flavoured lollipops probably has one on him at all times somehow magically pulls them outta thin air??

you can prob find him painting outside in the randomest places when the weather's nice

likes painting on people probably as much as painting them

it’s not an intimacy thing I swear. but. can be?? probably accidentally turns that way that’s just how he is

prefers either to focus on faces ( eyes specifically ) or nude models in general fcking @ him

this. is so long already I’m sorry omg

and that’s all I got my brains’ fried over this all but yo come plot with me pls also check my plots maybe orrr if you want me to check your plots ( I’d love to!! ) come poke me ay ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[queernuck]

Nightmares and Dreams in the Thinking Forest

Kohn’s epilogue to How Forests Think serves to place a kind of structural body upon the already-present text, a rabattement which serves to deepen the process of reading and critiquing exactly what semiotic possibilities are present within the larger structure of Kohn’s proposals, their interaction with one another, the semiotic frameworks he proposes. He presents the book as an anthropological text, and it certainly functions as such, but his work here is not primarily as an anthropologist in the conventional sense, describing the semiotics of certain interactions, the Orientalist conceptualization of a lack of interaction where there “must” be one, or the restructuring and appearance of a disparity, dialectic convention within a kind of eternal human self. Rather, he rejects these in favor of developing through anthropological vocabulary a new potential-anthropology, an anthropology of the beyond-human. The Derridean discourse on the “Animal Other” is not opposed by the continuity that Kohn offers; in fact, if it is evoked, it is evoked as an example of a certain sort of interaction which Kohn would describe as holding a particular differance from the ones that he describes within the space of the Forest, the interactions and assemblages within. Kohn defies a constructivist approach in a strict sense, in that he does not reduce the forest to an entirely human concept, a constructed mark that is incomprehensible to the natural. Rather, the forest exhibits a kind of agnostic relationship to the human, “human” being a certain order of subject-object relations implied by the body of the subject and realized within the larger thinking Forest, the assemblage and anthropological space that the Forest has a hyperreal relationship with, being a kind of simulation of an imagined, ideal forest that is not and moreover never was present.

Presence, and the spiritual content thereof, is a major theme for Kohn in discussing the Forest. For the Runa, a consciousness of the presence of animals that belong to the “spirit masters” that reside deep within the jungle is vital to seeing the animals that are present: whereas Kohn uses his binoculars to number a pack of monkeys as about 30 (calling this a generous estimate) it is described to him as being in the hundreds. The hundreds more are not visible in the sense that is most readily called upon, but rather are present through the signification and multiplicatory properties of representation in the spirit realm. The spirit masters have a certain domain resembling and described as “ownership” over the animals of the forest, which are spiritually far greater, more numerous, than any representation of them within the forest can handle. It is an impossible sort of being, such as the image Kohn lifts from a Jesuit priest’s writings that describes a river with fish so abundant, they in fact constitute the river itself. The river becomes not a flow of water containing fish, or a flow within which there is a second-order flow of fish. Rather, the constituting part of the flow is the fish themselves. This abundance beyond abundance is a fundamental part of the spirit realm. When Kohn discusses the Runa concept of the afterlife, the “always-already” of the domain of the spirit masters, the way in which it is restructured specifically by colonial experience, he begins developing a specific example of a larger Deleuzean principle about capitalist development. Certain spirits wear priestly habits even when local priests have abandoned them, for example. Animals within the Amazon are on the property of the spirit master as if it were a farm, they are the livestock, the chicken and pigs of the spirit masters. An important aspect of this is that, within the ontology of the spirit masters, they are represented not as white men, but men who are as if they are white, as if they have already been and always-already are white, even before it became a comprehensible term.

This example of an indexical reference to whiteness shows how it restructures referential frameworks: Kohn remarks upon how Jesuit missionaries were amused at the apparent-material concept of Heaven as espoused by the Runa as much as they were frustrated at the impossibility of Hell. The former concentrates on the aforementioned discussion of the spirits, their realm, the ascendence into a relationship with the spirit masters: in a Catholic interpretation, this is a fully-developed understanding of the notion that all are Saints in the proper sense, rewarded in Heaven in a specific and tangible fashion. The milk and honey that the Jesuits may have spoken of would be rather literal, just as the image of white authority depending on Jesus for its implementation relies again on this indexical whiteness. Conversely, for the Runa there is no hell, with death there is not a danger of losing the spirit except if the spirit is allowed to wander, is not properly sent off through certain rituals. There can be hell, they admit but not for the Runa. Rather, if there is a recognition of hell, it is populated by others, specifically the white and black races that the Runa have come in contact with as a result of colonialism. First, one finds the striking antiblackness of such a statement, in that it implies a metapysics based at least partially in race, with an eternal and marked subjugation of a black race, black bodies, continuing even after death.

However, the body is not the totality of that which it suggests, is not simply confined to its colonial appearance. Kohn references a story where a visiting Spaniard is greeted kindly for his gifts of golden religious items, but when he jokes that he would marry one of the women, they call him a devil. In one account how the Runa gained their identity, it is not through a process of civilization and colonization that the Runa became more like the white colonizers, with clothes and salt symbolizing civilized life. Rather, a flood separated the Runa from part of their population, washed away and eventually descending into a savage state. In this move toward disorder, a spiritual degradation brought about by an absence of this civilizing salt, the notion of an immutability to Runa identity makes itself known. It is through what Kohn describes as the “tools of whiteness” that certain orders of control are signified, and while these are not free from the colonial as some might wish to claim in defense of “civilization,” it would be naïve to insist that there is not a genuine process of engagement with these tools on the part of the Runa. Kohn’s own backpack is such an item, just as his beard is, other objects part of the shamanistic series of syncretic signifiers that make up daily practice, daily life for the Runa. Kohn’s backpack is a signifier of him as some other sort of person, one that is certainly not of the Runa in a conventional sense but by no means alien to them. His location as a Shaman, as holding a shamanistic relationship to others, is at once an indication of him as an outsider and an acceptance, a process of welcoming and recognizing him in kind.

By Kohn’s account, the mixture of pre-colonial, colonized, and post-colonial (and arguably neo-colonial) signifiers results in a kind of Oedipal structure of signification: to reference Deleuze and Guattari describing capitalism as a “nightmare” that lurks in the shadows outside the fire of early man right through into a future-of-futures, the opening of not only the “future” but all possible futures in a fashion that embodies not merely the eternal but the infinite, infinity contained within capitalist totality, one finds that there is a certain sort of totality comprised by the metaphysical, ontological, and epistemic traditions of the Runa within the forest as its own totality. Of course, this is not to say that the Runa are outside of capitalism, as this would lead to a wrongheaded evocation of primitivism that is useless not because of an inherent property of primitivist thought but rather because it constitutes a misapplication. Certain structures of “civilization” are core to this subjectivity, and even in retaining a greater rhizomal structure in opposition to colonial arborescence, this is within a forest that has become deeply embedded within colonial and capitalist violence, striated by the rhizomal creep of capitalist machines like seen during the rubber boom that Kohn evokes. The structure of this is such that the “present” structure of experience, the “current” is structured by a continual process of reterritorialization, an understanding such that the Runa have an identity that does not originate in ascent, but rather as unmarked by the descent of others. In this fashion, one finds the means by which “history” and its domain are rendered external, are unable to be marked upon a dasein that is relayed within the Runa vocabulary, the way that death itself is not imagined as part of the self but rather in relation to the living and the spirit. 

Kohn describes how the huaturitu supai, the priestly demon mentioned previously, is not to be gazed upon specifically because of how it creates a kind of Sartrean relationship of objectification: one looks, and by looking one is asserting one’s self, one’s “I”-ness, one’s subjectivity in a phenomenological sense, but by gazing upon the huaturitu supai one is then transfigured into “you” from “I” such that one is being addressed, is able to be understood as an object, is taken forever from the living and moreover the possibility of living. It is in subjectivity, in the interrelation of subjects, that Kohn’s forest thinks, that it begins to make itself known. Kohn discusses the subjectivity of the jaguar, almost in an echo of the Derridean cat, as requiring one’s gaze, one’s recognition, in order for the jaguar to regard oneself as a subject. Derrida’s cat is shameless yet naked, a reminder of one’s own nakedness that reflects one’s own subjectivity back. Meanwhile, it is the jaguar who must recognize subjectivity in the sleeping human, find the possible-gaze in a fellow predator in the closed eyes of a sleeping human, such that the human will be recognized as predator rather than prey, as able to be attacked. The “I” of the eye, the jaguar’s recognition, is a literal recourse from becoming an object in relation to the jaguar as a subject, the recognition of jaguar subjectivity both in communicating toward such a subjectivity, and in recognizing that such a subjectivity will perceive this and respond in kind. The dual structuring at hand, then involves the recognition of certain sorts of objects, subjects, and relating one to another in a fashion that leads to a certain structure that is arborescent in a certain sense, but is overwhelmingly able to resignify and restructure itself if one is careless. The relations at hand are multifarious, can be deconstructed and reversed with certain acts, the taking-on of certain forms, the means by which the spirits of the Forest interact with the human-as-such. When hunting game, a successful kill must be recognized and met with the repayment of the spirit masters. Conversely, making an offering is an attempt to draw out the same relationship, and Kohn describes how an unsuccessful attempt at this is described as “stingy” with the same tone directed at a politician who visited Ávila without any cigarettes or alcohol to give. These relationships take on the “forms” that Kohn describes as certain signifiers, certain carriers and arbiters of semiotic relationships, certain processes of meaning-making. 

The structure of “form” in rising up into human construction is, I would argue, not an indication that there is something more basic than human apprehension and construction but rather the transfiguration of the landscape through a radical act of ecological restructuring, one that Kohn rightfully describes as emanating from outside the human but in part determined and overcoded by human forms, a certain conceptual formalism that he uses to describe the ways in which the naming and realization of forms takes place. He gives the example of the stick bug, and refers to it continually: it is named as such because it resembles a stick, an easy enough concept to understand. However, the stick bug was not born resembling a stick, was not created as a mimicry of a stick. Rather, the form-of-a-stick was imparted upon it gradually, through a flow of evolutionary moments, events, where the form-of-a-stick was mimicked by the bodies of its ancestors, and more stick-like ancestors tended to propagate. Some that looked less like sticks inevitably outlived and bred in spite of this, just as some that may have been incredible mimicries of sticks were eaten. The form is part of what Kohn describes as a process of Emergence in the Forest, where the form becomes clear. 

Kohn’s “forms” can be incorporated into an analysis of what ecosystems fundamentally stand for, in describing emergent properties, the means by which one finds emergence as linked to processes of development and indeed, colonial hierarchy: the rubber boom structured the relations between colonizer and colonized, as well as intracolonial subjectivities, a kind of knot where an arboreal hierarchically emanated out from the mouth of the Amazon into the smaller and smaller tributaries of the river, each branch and each smaller and smaller division a reflection of the original, a kind of dissolution of hierarchy where form emerges as a higher order, independent from the order it is built upon, contained within, and yet unable to exist without the flow constituted by lower-level structures. As such, there is a continual process whereby the emergence of higher-order structures relies specifically upon lower-order ones that reflect, recognize, restructure themselves around those other flows in acts of resemblance. There is a blurring between exactly how one would apply the models of rizomality and arborescence in strict terms (a heartening thing, given that the strictness often imparted to application of Deleuzean notions of structure implies the very ontology that calcifies and stagnates the flows of schizoanalytic theory) but rather sees the continually resembling, tangled, mess-of-messes, collection of collections that the Runa describe a particular plant as, the disorder within mirroring the apparent disorder of the entire organism. The structure by which, then, this relates to ecological study, the understanding and demarcation of the ecosystem as a sort of form, as a collection of forms and interrelated objects, subjects, subjectivities requires an application of the Virtual as a demarcation of space.

Kohn describes the means by which “Amu” constitutes a notion that is not quite spirit, soul, or other terms applied to it in a kind of colonial determination, but rather a word that is far more like Dasein in its apparent-untranslatability: it is not unable to be translated, as such a notion requires a prescriptivist concept of direct linguistic correspondence, but rather that it holds a certain weight, a means of locating the self in regard to forms and their recognition, the emergence and recognition of forms within the relations of subjects and objects, subjects to one another through objects, the complexities of subjectivities related to one another without a direct contact, at a distance, through the kinds of contact that are created through processes of ecological change, revival, collapse. Kohn describes a “virtual realm of the masters” that is marked through a kind of digital location inside the forest, but reflected in emergence, in the understanding of forest as ecological hyperobject, as not just a present series of objects but in fact an emerging expanse that creates not only future, but the “in futuro” that is vital to the relationship between spirits and humans. It is in specific emergence, dictation of the possibilities of future and possible-possibilities, the expanding presence of potentiality in an ecosystem and the way in which the ecosystem reflects and restructures potential that emergence is understood. This is reflected, of course, in the rhetoric of necessity regarding discourses on ecological collapse. Radical changes to the very concept of ecosystem are needed in order to survive, but a strictly primitivist argument is one that largely misunderstands the means by which emergence in ecosystems presents not merely human as uniquely-human, but the interrelation of subjectivities through inter-species pidgins, the ordering of humans as not merely of a higher order than animals, but in fact of a lower order in relation to the spirit that is relayed through the animal to the higher-order human, the affirmation of the spirit-as-such far more “Real” than many metaphysics would allow. The “Real” then is in fact part of a hyperreal, a kind of simulacra of the ecosystem where understanding of it, the emergence of the ecosystem, is dictated by a relation of subject to object and moreover subjects within greater shared subjectivities such that it is through the emergence of these forms that the notion of civilization, colonization, collapse, and other changes in structure become comprehensible.

The complexity of the ecological as a sort-of-system, a larger structure signified by naming and confining it to singular ecological instances rather than a decentralized, rhizomal weight that is continually pulling down, that is realizing new emergent forms of collapse, producing-production from the greater structure of consumption-production as a first world luxury and third world necessity, the shifting means by which the two are understood as respectively salvageable and untenable, the neocolonialism of capitalist environmentalist ideology, all of this is part of an emerging structure wherein the forms of ecological collapse are dramatic, but cannot be understood without reference to their realization as part of a larger emergence. It is in certain relations that the emergence of the Forest is possible, just as it is in emergence that a larger ecosystem, a larger global body, can be understood. This body is marked, marked-as-one, understood specifically because of how it is able to be structured by subjectivity. Understanding how Forests think, how the relationships of individual experience create emergence far beyond the individual, understanding causality in a sense that opens up the domain of the spirit, of ritual and invocation, of shamanist thinking, the Virtual of the Spirits, is vital if one wishes to assert capitalist expanse, neoliberal ideology, the schizophrenic consumption of late capitalism. 

[archived-darksideoftheshadows]

🚼💧 🌎 🎭🚑🍟 💅

🚼 - How would your muse react to losing a child? How would they cope? 

It would partially depend on the way the child died. But if it were from anything but old age, Shade would be in absolute mourning. He may not seem like it, but he cares for his family as must as he cares about Opal City. Shade however, has a horrible time of repressing his emotions and letting time heal them.

💧 - How would your muse react to losing a best friend? How would they cope?

As before, Shade would be in complete mourning if it were anyway but old age. Because Shade is an immortal, he’s come to accept death if close ones in his life as a part of time. It doesn’t mean he has to like it.”

🌎 - Does your muse want to change the world? How would they go about it? 

Not in the slightest. He’s content watching it change. The only place they would change for the better is Opal City, and he does that enough by simply residing there with the reputation he has among heroes and villains. He’ll come out of retirement tin the future just to give the new generation a shock.

🎭 - How does your muse handle their emotions? Do they bottle them up or pour them out as soon as they start to feel?

Shade has a horrible habit of bottling up his emotions. The bottle has yet to burst. But it’s getting close. Two hundred years is a long time to bottle up emotions. 

🚑 - If your muse was the only person around and someone was injured, would they help? Would they have the experience needed?

Shade absolutely has the experience to patch someone up. But since he has shadow powers, he much rather bring the person to a hospital rather than get his own hands dirty. However, his more helpful to strangers mood is a more recent development.

🍟 - How does your muse feel about their body? Would they change it if they could?

Shade doesn’t have any particular issues with the way he looks. But when he disperses himself to reappear somewhere else, he don’t always get the details correct when putting himself back together. Shade’s face has changed quite a few times. 

💅 - How does your muse feel about gender roles? Do they conform to them, or do they play by their own rules?

He thinks they’re completely pointless. He plays by his own rules and there’s no one there to stop him. 

[addictionfreedom]

Dual Diagnosis Treatment Issues

Contents

Dual diagnosis treatment

Mental health issues

Received separate treatments

: treating mental health

Dual Diagnoses Can Worsen Emotional Health. Dual Diagnosis Has Social Effects. dual diagnosis treatment is Complicated. A dual diagnosis comes with a whole set of unique issues, and understanding these issues is key to treatment and recovery.

Dual diagnosis is an effective, evolving treatment process that addresses addiction and underlying mental health disorders. Relapse is often due to non-diagnosis or improper diagnosis in addicts that have concurring disorders. mental health issues can cause substance abuse as an individual may…

Our dual diagnosis treatment centers help address psychiatric diagnoses that fuel … personalized plans that address all underlying issues fueling an addiction,  …

Dual diagnosis treatment is an approach that treats substance abuse disorder alongside a co-occuring mental health disorder. If you have a dual diagnosis, you should be properly evaluated to address both mental health and addiction issues.

While Amanda Bynes and her mental issues … specialises in “dual diagnosis” of mental illnesses. Amanda’s mother, who was granted temporary conservatorship over her daughter, has said that all report…

Dual diagnosis treatment addresses both the underlying psychiatric issues and the substance abuse disorder and is often necessary to facilitate a successful recovery from addiction or alcoholism. What Are Co-Occurring Disorders? A co-occurring disorder is a diagnosable mental health disorder that…

Dual diagnosis is the term used to describe the co-occurrence of a substance abuse disorder and a mental health issue. In the past, many people struggling with dual diagnosis received separate treatments for each issue, rather than receiving integrated treatment that takes both issues into…

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Mental health and addiction treatment. Many people with drug or alcohol addiction also have co-occurring disorders or “dual diagnosis” mental health issues …

Learn more about dual diagnosis treatment options at The Ranch. Our residential treatment for co-occurring disorders helps clients address mental health and substance use issues in a supportive Outpatient Treatment Program and PHP (Mississippi location only). Our outpatient and partial…

In order for a dual diagnosis issue to be properly treated, experts must first diagnose the problem properly, and as an article in the Journal of Addictive Disorders …

Dual Diagnosis: Learn about the complications of having a substance abuse disorder and a … 78% for people seeking treatment for substance abuse problems.

Find Dual Diagnosis Treatment Centers in Oklahoma, get help from Oklahoma … seniors who are struggling with acute psychiatric and addiction-related issues.

Many providers say to one of these “dual diagnosis” patients … clinicians in both fields to recognize the dual problems and treat them. The agencies will re-evaluate the entire structure of treatmen…

The best treatment for dual diagnosis is integrated intervention, when a person … also drinking” is outdated—current thinking requires both issues be addressed.

Dual diagnosis can be confusing a confusing concept to grasp. The following is a list … READ THIS NEXT: treating mental health and Addiction Issues Together …

In Sovereign Health's dual diagnosis treatment centers, our clinicians use evidence-based treatments to treat patients struggling with substance addiction as well as a wide variety of mental illnesses — including depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder and…

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Nov 19, 2018 … Individuals with a dual diagnosis require an integrated treatment plan that addresses both disorders as interconnected mental health issues.

Treatment for dual diagnosis begins with a thorough assessment. Our treatment team will identify mental health issues that are fueling substance abuse. Treatment for dual diagnosis issues can be complicated. Mental disorders are caused by a complex interplay between genetics and the…

In this article, I will discuss what types of medication are used to treat a dual diagnosis of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and a Mood Disorder in children … are causing most of her func…

The Importance of Dual Diagnosis Treatment. Unresolved and underlying core issues can threaten complete healing. If individuals return home before The dual diagnosis treatment approach makes it unique from other programs that may only provide rehab services for an addiction or mental illness.

Aug 29, 2018 … Many people with a mental illness also have problems with substance abuse. … Someone with a dual diagnosis must treat both conditions.

Dual diagnosis is a term used when a person struggles with both addiction and a mental health issues. Someone with a dual diagnosis may also be referred to as having a co-occurring disorders. Approximately 30% of alcoholics and over 50% of drug addicts report suffering from a mental health…

There are more treatment options than ever before, and people increasingly recognize mental health matters as medical issues, rather than a choice or a lack of good character. Recovery and Renewal Sta…

Our advanced dual diagnosis treatment program helps individuals who are suffering with mental illness and addiction issues achieve happiness and sobriety. Exceptional Dual Diagnosis Treatment Program in Florida. In order to effectively conquer substance abuse, an accurate…

For some, especially those with substance abuse issues, diagnosis and treatment can be a challenge. Those who struggle with dual diagnosis face enormous challenges in receiving effective care and drug …

For the rest, there's always an underlying issue. When emotional or psychological problems pop up, a dual diagnosis treatment program in Texas becomes the …

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Recovery In Motion specializes in dual diagnosis treatment in Tucson and Phoenix, … use in response to undiagnosed or poorly treated mental health issues.

problems in concentrating, staying away from social gatherings and friends, and suicidal tendencies, to understand the extent of the problem and seek professional help. Need for integrated treatment f…

When the two problems merge, a bigger challenge arises … you may need to call 911 and get first responders involved, he says. Treatment for dual diagnosis can be costly, so it’s important to have a …

This results in a fragmented approach that creates gaps in treatment. With dual diagnosis, we address both mental health and chemical dependency problems at  …

Dual diagnosis, also called dual disorder or co-occuring disorders, refers to a person experiencing a mental health issue in conjunction with Because of its complexity, dual diagnosis requires different approaches to treatment. In general, there are four treatment models for dual diagnois

Unlike specific-issue treatment, dual diagnosis treatment requires professionals to understand how addiction and mental health symptoms co-occur within an individual. Dual diagnoses treatments vary based on individual need and often require a specialized approach.

The term "dual diagnosis" refers to a condition in which a person has both a mental illness and an addiction issue. For example, all people with a dual diagnosis will need to focus treatment efforts on both illnesses, and that treatment should happen concurrently.

Our dual diagnosis treatment centers help address psychiatric diagnoses that fuel substance abuse, depression, sex addiction, trauma, and eating An exceptional program will develop personalized plans that address all underlying issues fueling an addiction, such as anxiety, depression or trauma.

Drug Use Can Create Symptoms of Other Mental Health … If only the drug addiction is treated, but the dual diagnosis is …

Find Dual-Diagnosis Addiction Treatment. Finding the best dual diagnosis addiction treatment is as easy as calling 1-888-986-7848. This number will direct you to the Recovery Ways admissions staff where they can review your medical history and insurance benefits to find the best rehab options…

From there, it stems into either a bunch of thorny issues or buds into a beautiful new bouquet. Alcohol and drugs have a significant role, throw in mental health, i.e. dual diagnosis, and you wind …

Alternative To Meds Center specializes in Dual Diagnosis treatment and both our residents and our graduates … nurturing care network address any contributing mental and emotional issues the resident …

Learn how exactly self-diagnosis is dangerous and better choices for diagnoses here. If you are struggling with mental health concerns, we want to help you. Dual Diagnosis logo. Call to speak with a treatment admissions counselor. 877-345-3357.

Treatment programs for dual diagnosis – co-occurring mental illness and substance abuse or eating disorders – including therapeutic and medical treatment. What is important about dual diagnosis is the realization that presence of both conditions and forming an approach to treat both simultaneously.

Dual Diagnosis Treatment Nj “Instead of having it take weeks of trying to get through to the right person at the right agency, to say, ‘I think Joe needs substance abuse treatment … had arranged for Ken to have a spot in a dua… Oct 15, 2018 … Pyramid Healthcare Opening First New Jersey Inpatient Program … nursing/ physician

Dual diagnosis is a substance use disorder and a mental health issue that occur at the same time. Addiction is complicated but dual diagnosis requires even …

Some of these issues were discussed at the American Psychiatric 2005 Annual … "Dual diagnosis" patients are more likely to be over-represented in treatment …

We can guide you through the myriad problems associated with addiction and mental illness. By dual diagnosis treatment the entire individual, can provide …

From symptoms to treatment options, this article covers the essentials of dual … Understanding addiction and mental health issues is an important step in …

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