#PUTTING FANART TAGS THIS TIME I WANT PPL TO SEE/HEAR THIS

[alliumcola]

THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE SONG IT MAKES ME FEEL EVERY HAPPY EMOTION EVER !!! I LOVE SHAPES AND COLORS the song 🌻

[c0rpsedemon]

ok not to be insane i mean neurodivergent but back in 2020/2021 when i was like 15 i was so deeply lonely that it was overriding parts of my personality and my sole goal in life was to get strangers on the internet to love and care about me (i didn't succeed once but i unintentionally came close the first few cyberstalking incidents bc ppl felt bad for me but i fucked it by being like 'lol dw i'm fine this is funny to me' and by the time it actually was having a mental toll everyone else who was following along stopped giving a shit) . and you see, way back when it was fairly common for ppl to have personal '[x] don't look' trigger tags they'd ask the mutuals to use if they weren't going to otherwise tag smthing (something which has fallen out of practice bc of the fact that it's an objectively Bad Idea to put lists of things that are upsetting to you in your bio + it's impractical when you could just as easily put 'incest tw' 'gore tw' 'abuse tw' on all that tcoaal fanart you totally definitely rb (or expect this hypothetical person to have all variants of the tcoaal tag blocked already) and help out your non-moots who mights not want to see it either) but anyways . this was a common practoce and i'd see these tags around and be like 'wow . ppl are mentioning this person by name! wouldn't that be wonderful!' bc i was, once again, extremely desperate. like grizabella the glamour cat andrew lloyd webber memory 10 hr loop desperate for any sort of acknowledgement and so much as being namedropped was the high point of my average month bc i was otherwise so alone and miserable. so i was like 'i want to be cared for too' and decided that having ppl use a 'romeo don't look' tag was the most efficient way to do that w/o actually dming ppl (i started 1 conversation in this era, it led to nothing, and i had convinced myself that i was being an unwanted burden and if anyone did want to hear from me they'd contact me first . + i was so far gone at this point that any dm i'd send first would probably have been so unsettling that i'd do more harm than good so in rhetrospect it was probs for the best that i didn't) since making public posts desperately begging for companionship didn't even yield pity likes from those i was trying to impress . the part of this plan that was flawed though is that i now had to think of things that'd realistically be upsetting to me but also wasn't self aware at all so i went w like . bugs and unsanitary things bc those were icky . and a specific transphobic phrase that used to make me rlly sad. which is ridiculous bc like . toughen up . also re:self awareness I LITERALLY HAD AN EATING DISORDER AT THE TIME . IF THERE WAS ANY POSTS I SHOULDN'T BE LOOKING AT THEY WERE ONES ABT FOOD OR WEIGHT IN ANY CONTEXT. BUT THAT WOULD REQUIRE COMMON SENSE AND SELF PRESERVATION SKILLS AND NOT 'IRONICALLY' OPENING THE THINSPO TAG WHICH ARE SKILLS I SO DESPERATELY I LACKED . anyways my scheme, as w all others from this era, didn't work, either bc the things i listed were uncommon or bc no one gave a shit . who's to say.

[hinamie]

3 & 8 for the fanartist ask? hope youre well <3

WAH HIII thank uuuu i am doing well ty fr asking <3 <3 <3

3. what sort of compliments do you love hearing?

gJHSG i'm not picky at all tbh any compliments r enough to make my day :'> i read tags like the morning news n if i see something particularly sweet i screenshot it n put it in a lil folder on my desktop to look at when i need a pick-me-up.

I wld be lying if i didn't have favourites tho :'>>> don't get me wrong keysmashes n short and sweet compliments r never unwelcome but whenever people leave extended tags rly explaining what they like about a piece or how they interpret certain details i included,, or if they have a bit of art knowledge themselves and are able to comment on specific technical elements i use...thts the good stuff . i eat tht shit up it is like crack to me

I also get a special kind of thrill when i get ppl crying/telling me they're in my walls/yelling at me threateningly (pos) in the tags of an angsty drawing sdghjfgj ik those r not exactly compliments but it means i have done my job well so it counts :3

8. what inspires your art style?

I mean i'm a fanartist so i think it goes without saying that the themes and look of the media itself will inform how I approach making art for it hjdsfk . like, in my fruits basket era my style definitely leaned cutesier than it did/has for tg/banana fish/jjk. in the same vein, the work of other artists also in those fandoms has always been something that inspires me almost as much as the source material. everyone is so fucking talented sdhjhgfdsj no matter how happy i might be with my own progress at any given moment i'm always looking at other artists and styles I admire and trying to kirby them into my own stuff :)

but as far as parts of my actual /style/ tht transcend whatever fandom i'm working in, I think above all else I'm inspired by things I see in real life and find beauty in

in the past I have spent a lot of time doing more. static (?) fanart where the main focus was often the character's clothes moreso than where they were or what they were doing. ik part of that was definitely because I wasn't comfortable enough in my technical skills to push myself to draw more elaborate scenes, but it was also due to the fact that at that time in my life, I was mainly inspired by fashion and people I found beautiful. lately i've been much more focused on emotions, intimacy, and little pockets of time--i want to draw moments that make you want to hold them between your fingers before they slip away. lately i find myself thinking about what it's like to be loved or left and overall just the nature of time passing, and i think those themes have definitely made themselves known in my work. the light the colours the themes i use,,. it's all hopeful and sad and fleeting and beautiful to me, or at least i try for it to come across that way.

fanartist ask game

[apoptoses]

DA here and I just wanna say A FEW THINGS 💭

First of all I hope you're feeling better now! Read about you having a horrid week and my hear broke for you. Sending nothing but hugs, horses, kind words and the sweetest summer breeze your way🫂

Onto smuttier thoughts, I read the final chapter of Come Get Your Knife and I'm IN AWE of you as usual. Perfect ending to a perfect story. The pool scene was incredible and it reminded me of those pictures of people taking their very old dogs with arthritis for a swim and just holding them in the water while they have the most peaceful, trusting, loving expressions in their faces. That was Armand with his boy right there 🥹

Armand finally doing for Daniel what Marius couldn't do for him was nothing short of a healing experience. Also some of the best smut out there 🥵 The mirror, Armand coating his fingers with his blood and and putting them in Daniel's mouth 🥵🥵🥵, "faking" a real human orgasm and smearing Daniel's come on his own cock jfc. She NEVER misses.

My favorite bit: “Did you know there’s a rare songbird, and when people eat it they cover their faces with a cloth so as to hide the shame of their pleasure from God?” Armand murmured into Daniel’s back, voice just loud enough to be heard over the little wet gasps he dragged from Daniel every time he rolled his hips. “I should cover your face, Daniel. I should hide you from God so that he doesn’t see the pleasure you take in being fucked by a dead man.” INSANITY!!!! Also was this a Succession/Tomgreg reference (yk that scene at the restaurant) or am I just That person now? 😭 perfection either way.

Finally, I read your last ask abt that anon seeing Armand/Daniel hate all over town and lmao SO IT WASN'T JUST ME. I mean I'm not doing myself any favors here because I do check their tags constantly. I'm sadly like a rabid hound when it comes to them, sniffing around in search of good food and yeah most of the time the takes are rancid but other times I find one ☝️ good take and some amazing fanart and I tell myself it's all worth it dsfhsjfk. The way some ppl treat their extremely personal headcanons and projections as undeniable canon facts is nuts. Ship and let ship is my motto but damn some of the things I've seen... and I wouldn't blame the show per se, but the massive influx of fans that a mainstream tv show gave to an already existing fandom has been a contributing factor to what we're seeing imo, where very few people actually bother to read the source material (which is okay really, no one actually has to read the books and the show is almost nothing like the books anyway) and then start treating out of context quotes and scenes or headcanons or summaries of events they heard from a friend of a friend of a friend or plain incorrect takes as canon. it's like a bad (horrifyingly bad) game of telephone around here 🥴 wtvr tho it's literally fiction, and not that much of a big deal (someone tell them that tho lmaoo).

xoxo ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ 

Dungeon anon, I wondered where you were ♥ Thank you for the kind words, things (seem to be) getting better.

lmao armand as an arthritic dog floating in the pool. It's accurate though, his old body needed a rest and I needed them to do something cute before the filth began. I feel like he would enjoy swimming, not for any particular reason. It's just a chill activity for him that he can do like any mortal.

listen i just needed them to fuck while daniel was still mortal and i was hellbent on making armand find a way to 'come' in daniel 😂 and tbh it's nastier for him to put daniel's own mess back inside him, daniel probably liked that better than he would anything armand's body could produce were he able to do the deed. it reminds him this is an artificial experience, it's not natural at all (and thus hotter)

and hell YEAH that is a wambsgans reference lmao i knew about orotolans long before succession but tom reminded me of them, and i just really wanted to write armand threatening to cover daniel's face from god (also it feels like something marius may have said to amadeo, and that armand would put his own twist on and later repeat), i couldn't pass up the opportunity.

see i have no courage to check the tags, i only trust what people i know reblog or the content of people who follow me 😂 i don't even wanna know what's out there.

but yeah, people do some WEIRD projecting, there's some weird head canons people insist are book canon fact (like guys daniel never did hard drugs on page in the books, not even once, the blood was his drug of choice lol but some people will go TO THE MAT and fight you about this like book!daniel was baby leo in basketball diaries, prostituting and railing heroin)

and the taking quotes out of context thing is way out of control. it's so easy for someone to screenshot some text on their ibooks app and then write whatever meta they want and then people who haven't read that book take it as gospel and just...it's very frustrating lol even the stuff from the vampire companion gets treated as gospel as that's a book written by FAN, it is FAN META with a few quotes from anne sprinkled in. ramsland calls armand a black hole who doesn't love anything and people take that as fact and just...no lol anne didn't write those words, those are ramsland's interpretation of the first five VC books circa 1991!

i'm lucky that everyone who likes the show who happens to follow me and read my fic has been outrageously nice, so i have no clue what happens in the more tumultuous waters of amc fandom lol but i really hope people give the books themselves a chance, even if only to read their blorbo's chapters because they're good and it's worth knowing the context in which things happened in them!

ANYWAYS DA, the fic you inspired me to write with armand learning dirty talk will be posted tomorrow, i hope you're hyped ♥

xoxo

[bi-polar-geminii]

i don’t mean what i’m saying with malice, however, can you please stop putting all your inbox asks regarding the issue of listener designs on the main tag. i understand you want people to know about this issue (if this is your intention), but all you’re doing is making the artists who draw as a hobby feel bad, and just adding negativity to the main tag. i understand how it feels to not see yourself represented, but that’s where you come in. for those wanting rep, you can either draw it yourself or if you can’t draw it and are so adamant on wanting rep, commission and support an artist! consistently complaining won’t get anything done but draw artists away from the fandom itself and make art we see for these characters we all love become sparse and less.

additionally, listeners, at the end of the day, are us. if an artist is an afab female, chances are that listener will also be an afab female. some artists may not draw pocs not because they just don’t want to, but because they aren’t well-versed in depicting their features and don’t want to do it an injustice. there’s no need to rush to the worst possible and negative explanation. i have never seen myself represented in a single piece of redacted fanart, however i know better than to just nonsensically complain about it — because complaining won’t get anything done (it’ll only do more harm if anything).

thank you for making your points known, and i hope what i’m saying comes across to you as i intended it to

Out of respect, I did remove the unnecessary posts from the tags bc they did clog up the main tag (my bad, but also if its that bothersome, you can literally scroll past it, your not obligated to read everything)

I’m not slamming anyone or shaming people, that was never the intention here. It was to make light on how some artists choose to make characters (not self inserts) white simply bc of mainstream/kinda racist ideas that characters in media can only be portrayed as white to be popular or liked bc of white beauty standards. I want people to reflect and think about that, but I never said ppl *couldn’t* make them white or afab. Im not trying to gatekeep or force people to suddenly get rid of all their white characters just bc i said there isn’t enough representation

Also *I do* have characters for fandom rep, I have lots of them. The only reason why I don’t post them is because they aren’t finished yet. But what’s wrong with having an opinion on something? You have to admit, people wouldn’t be in my inbox telling that *I* have to create the representation needed and that my opinion is hurting everyone’s feelings if I was a white creator. Just think about that

Also im sorry but the whole “some ppl dont draw poc characters cause they dont know how to!” is an argument thats just very fucking tiring to hear. It truly isn’t that hard, like im being serious. There are *a lot* of free recourses out there to learn if your super keen on learning how to draw the different ethnic facial features. But if you wanna create a black/brown person for example, this is what you do; draw the character, make their skin color a darker brown. Congratulations! You’ve made a poc character! Ladies and gentlemen its really not that difficult, if your not willing to challenge yourself on how to draw different types of people or your too scared to- its gonna stunt your growth as an artist

This was the first time I opened up about an opinion I had seeing in this fandom, so idk what you mean by ‘consistently complaining’ when this whole situation has only happened once (for me)

[darkhats]

my response to that one cookie run drama video from 2019

if u were in the fandom at around 2019 you'll remember this video. really a grand hallmark of its time. this is probably the most unecessary thing ill ever do but i see alot of recent comments from a month ago agreeing with this and i think thats extremely sad. im mostly doing this as a fun nostalgia trip and also i really want to justify me wasting 14 minutes watching this

first of all i want to say this video is fucking awful. just dreadful. like girl what the fuck are you even saying. i'd only recommend watching in full if you want to hear about the fandom in 2019 with a condesending voice talking down to you the whole time and even then you could probably do better just scrolling through the discourse tag

i suggest you pull up the video yourself as i'll be responding by timestamps. if i sound angry at some points its because i am

you can skip to 1:40 the rest is just intro stuff

1:47 | im really curious why you put this screenshot while saying "entitled fans" bc u never elaborated and i would really LOVE for you to explain whatever this one meant

1:50 | for the "huge amounts of hypocrisy" bit i have no idea what this is? this would be hypocrisy if the twitter acc in the previous screenshot and this tumblr blog r the same person but theyre not. we don't all think like a hivemind? this post is stupid in general stop infantilising asian ppl like they have no idea what a black person even is

2:02 | "gatekeeping what kind of ships you're allowed to like" with this screenshot u a proshitter or sumn🤨

the rest of the things they listed will be talked about later

2:51 | oh wow the "fixing art" thing. i dont think this is a thing anymore but it definitely was a big thing back in 2019! the thing is im quite neutral on it because a lot of artists dont like their work being edited but on the other hand if you dont like when people put the correct skintones on your art then maybe you should colour it right the first time

i will say though if you see cool art of like dark choco or espresso and its whitewashed and u wanna edit it so its not and u keep it to yourself then idc thats fine to me. the grey area is when it comes to characters like moonlight or alchemist, who's skintone is quite difficult to pull off in some artstyles. a lot of the examples in the video use people like cherry blossom or cotton candy who don't quite fit in the same category but are usually targets of this anyway

a very simple fix is to just use a different colour but to not make them significantly lighter from how they look in canon, which alot of the examples you showed don't do. they all look pale as shit compared to what they actually look like ingame and thats why people complained about them

also your marina video is fucking awful btw

3:53 |

4:56 | "so many people in the fandom hate the developers" im one of them hiii. i should probably use this time to explain why (please note that this was made in 2019 so a few of the points im bringing up here will probably be a bit too recent)

devsisters really love showcasing whitewashed art of their characters (they used to do it on their forums rarely but thats now gone) and recently they've been quite excited to dabble in the whitewashing themselves (keep in mind the others except from twizzly gummy don't really count as whitewashing but they're all significantly lighter than their regular appearance). its like a hobby or sumn. everytime they host a fanart contest i brace for god damn impact. and this has been a thing since FOREVER

speaking of race and ethnicity, lilacs costume (and redesign in general) is just... bad but i dont think they were even introduced at the time of this video. milk and yam WERE though and its extremely baffling to me how this went through an entire team/company and got greenlit. its insane how shit they are (if it was just yam on his own i wouldn't hate him as much, i still wouldn't like him tbh, but they decided to pair him up with a white saviour). would i call them racist though? ...idk? they've been moving funny recently cant lie

another thing is the valentines day video which pisses me off to even think about. in that vid theres alot of.. ships that definitely arent legal. and whitewashing ^_^ they still haven't addressed it btw if ur curious. but it happened this year and honestly i wouldnt blame them for not thinking devsisters would do something like that bc i sure didnt!

theres also the thing with nfts but no one couldve foresaw that one coming

i assume when you mention people saying devsis are transphobic that you're talking about characters like dark choco or cinnamon who weren't referred by any pronouns until they were magically given he/him pronouns later on. nonbinary people can use any pronouns they so damn please but i get why people would get annoyed about them both suddenly being referred as he/him. wouldn't call it transphobic though. other than idk, how tf am i meant to defend something when u dont even telling me what ur talking abt

and 5:29 is quite the bold claim if you have to say "do i have evidence for this asian hate? no.." when bringing it up again btw

now we're onto the "stories from a few people" section. the few people are actually just two, the first one just runs their mouth for way too long. dw they both suck. ignore how the creep art person is there its been addressed already in the description (which is funny because the creator remembers this video still? and they presumingly agree with it still..?)

7:00 | i would heavily recommend putting the video on like 1.75 speed and just reading the reply yourself because this person goes on for WAY too long. excuse me if the timestamps are wrong because of this but at this point i really just do not care

the first thing i want to address is the cuphead and cookie run fandom comparison, because its just as ridiculous as it sounds "i have no idea why its so focused on being sensitive about cookies sexualities, genders, and races, when other fandoms dont even take subjects like that as seriously. im pretty sure the cuphead fandom takes its bosses less seriously than the cr fandom does its cookies..." literally what the fuck are you on about? excuse me as im not a cuphead fandom connoisseur here but how are either fandoms connected?? they both got a vastly different audience, gameplay, artstyle and characters (+ character design). the only thing similar is that theyre both popular i GUESS. also maybe the cookie run fandom is so "sensitive" about cookies races bc they keep getting whitewashed every 5 seconds🤔? just a game theory tho🤔

7:25 | pisses me off ever so fucking much. the "ive never seen a fandom get so disrespectful over issues that i honestly dont think even exist" while talking about MILK COOKIE COOKIE RUN are u crazy are u dense im glad you can frollick along in ur flowerfields not having to ever deal with racism but I cannot. and if ur not talking abt him then you'd be talking about the "sensitive about sexualities/genders/races" thing and yeah man u right none of that is real. the LGBT disappeared suddenly in 1987. all humans were destroyed as they had race. we're all grey goo people

im not even sure what the complaint even is.. oh nooo someone did a milk redesigning the controversial parts of his design... how ever will we recover..?

8:15 | yeah as everyone knows i can make a character as pale as i want in fanart as long as i say these are my humanizations actually. garbage argument, most people dont draw the characters as actual cookies and most of the fanart does just fine with eyedropping the characters original skintone (oh im sorry, dough!!) so whats the excuse?

dont worry this person is done now we're almost at the end

11:18 | for the other reply, its the fiction doesnt equal reality shit do you really need me to go over this one? do you really. if they just cookies and its just fiction then why y'all feelings hurt so bad. also lumping in whitewashing with age and gender while ur talking about peoples headcanons is a bit weird btw

anyway the last thing i want to go over is the "cookie run fandom is soo obsessed with debating on whitewashing, ages, gender and sexualities!" thing thats so prevelent with these arguments. 2019 had this fun period where with every new cookie that came out there was some sort of controversy with them (millennial tree and raspberry mousse being he/him, roll cake and sorbet shark being a child or not, ect.)

whitewashing is obvious why so i'll move on. some characters can be seen as lesbian coded (white choco and rose for having majority girl fans, sea fairy in general) and there are a few characters that explicitly aren't referred to by any pronouns (dark choco before the guild adventures, peppermint, ect.) which u dont see everyday in games. so yeah.. people care about these things because they like representation. who would've thought?

now im gonna be fucking real. the arguments over cookies ages were always annoying - the reason why the fandom has arguments about ages so much is because devsis REFUSES to tell us canon ages. think about it, majority of the "canonially confirmed" children in the game are from a child event that happened in LINE. thats a completely different company running the game. because of how character-heavy the game is, ships are a very big part of the fandom. i sincerely doubt theres anyone in the fandom who doesnt like any ship and at the time rarepairs were rly common. so when you've got a fandom who really likes to ship and developers that dont ever mention ages then you get a fucking mess. i dont know what sorbet shark or roll cakes age is and its pointless to even debate it because id rather just have the devs confirm it themselves (not like they ever will). and even for the one singular time they did specify that one of the characters was a child, they still showcased fanart of said kid being shipped with an adult anyway

but that concludes the video and thus this response! i have wasted so much time on this i honestly could've showed you them ranting about how "cookies dont have skin colours" in the video or the part in the marina video where they complain about how people "think whitewashing is bad but make non-black characters black" and moved on but what else would i do on a sunday night?

[bettsfic]

socknography: the importance of preserving fan creator biographical data

i wrote earlier on utilizing collections and bookmarks to boost the archival power of ao3, and in that post mentioned how i wish authors would fill out their bios so we can preserve fanauthor information as well as we preserve the fics themselves. so, here is my rant about WHY WE ARE SO IMPORTANT.

for my masters thesis i wrote about the layered pseudonymity of fanfiction authors, and after doing a ton of research, i find myself still thinking of the pseudonymous/anonymous divide as it pertains to fic. we have authors we consider “famous” and ones whose followings eclipse that of traditionally published authors, but unlike traditionally published authors, we don’t put a handy bio at the end of our fics. in fact, if you want to find out about the author, you have to hope they’ve linked somewhere to their tumblr or twitter or dreamwidth, or they have consistent pseuds across platforms. and from there, you have to hope they have an ‘about me.’ but most, myself included, don’t.

unlike traditional publication -- where amazon and goodreads and even the back of the book contains biographical info -- and even unlike the rest of fandom archival etiquette -- which, despite having virtually no committed rules still maintains its organizational structure -- there is no standard etiquette on fanauthor biographical data. 

i speculate the reasons fanauthors are hesitant to write their own biographies is very complicated: 

there is no “ask” for it or existing standard. when i publish stories under my real name, i’m required to provide my bio, which contains my accomplishments, where i got my degree, where else i’m published, and my website. all literary author bios follow this formula, so they’re pretty easy to write. other than this post, i have never seen a request for fanauthor bios. so without an editor demanding it, and without a standard formula or platform to draw from, a total lack of information becomes the norm, and almost any info other than the standard “name. age. pronouns. ao3 name. list of fandoms and/or pithy one-liner” of tumblr or occasional ask game is seen as a deviation from the norm. even ask games get a bad rep sometimes, and they’re transitory, a post you see as you’re scrolling through to somewhere else, not static, like a dedicated profile page.

pseudonymity veers too close to anonymity. an anonymous author cannot have a biography. a pseudonymous author can, but biographies may be seen as defeating the purpose of writing under a pseudonym, or multiple pseuds. a sock account is a sock for a reason -- you don’t want it associated with your main. moreover, i believe fandom creates an environment in which to acknowledge your accomplishments and promote your own content is seen as narcissistic. fanfiction can sometimes be seen as a genre of selflessness, donating time and energy into a community centered around a shared canon, not personal gain. to acknowledge the self publicly is to invite attention, and attention is contradictory to anonymity.

shame and humility. the more information you have on the internet, the easier you are to find. very few fanauthors use their real names, or feel comfortable connecting their fan identity to their real one. i hear pretty constantly how often fanauthors hide their fannishness from their coworkers and loved ones, how only the people closest to them know they write/read fanfic. moreover, you might think “my most popular fic only has 10 kudos and 1 comment, nobody wants to know about me” (which is so not true, but i’ll get to that in a minute).

fandom is constantly changing. with a central archive for fanfiction in place, it’s easier now to be in multiple fandoms at once than it ever has been. if you want to read all sugar daddy fics, there’s a tag for that, and if you’re not picky about canon, you have an entire buffet of fandoms to choose from. communities are growing and shifting and changing shape. i move fandoms, and i keep my friends and readers from previous fandoms. i get dragged to new fandoms frequently. my interests and inspirations change, but i don’t erase my history or identity every time i move, i only add to it. i am always betts whether i’m in star wars or the 100 or game of thrones. but if you only read my fic, you don’t know the stories behind it. many people don’t know i entered fandom in the brony convention community in 2012, or that i was sadrobots before i was betty days before i was betts, or how fandom changed my life and led me through a path of personal trauma recovery, or that i co-founded wayward daughters, or ran the fanauthor workshop, or all these other things about fanfic that is not fanfic itself. 

if you are a fan creator, your fannish personal narrative matters. telling your story helps preserve the metatextual history of our genre.

i think constantly about what our genre will look like in 30 or 50 years, if it will be like other genres that began as subversions of the mainstream: comic books, beat literature, science fiction. genres that, at the time involved groups of friends creating stories for each other, bouncing ideas off of one another, experimenting with or distorting other genres, and which became, over time, well-regarded forms with rich histories. 

maybe one day, like the MCU, we’ll have a dedicated production company that churns out adaptations of longform coffee shop aus written between 2009 and 2015. maybe “BNFs” will be read in high school literature curriculums. maybe our work will end up on the real or virtual shelves of our great grandchildren. and if that happens, if fanfic goes entirely mainstream, how will fanfic authorship be perceived? how will fanpeople in 2080, if humanity is still around by then, interact with the lexicon we’ve created and preserved? what would you do if you found out Jane Austen wrote under five different sock accounts across three platforms over the span of twenty years? how would you, a fan of Pride & Prejudice, even begin to find all of her work?

we have so many social constraints pushing against us. there’s purity culture, which encourages further division of identity -- fanauthors may write fluff on their main and have various sock accounts for underage/noncon fics. if you’re a scarecrow, you’re much harder for a mob to attack. there’s misogyny, which dictates women/queer ppl shouldn’t be writing about or indulging in or exploring their sexuality at all. there’s intellectual property and a history of DMCAs, which, although kept at bay by the OTW, may still have influence on the “illegal” mentality of our work. with social armies against us, it’s easier to exist in the shadows, on the fringe. we change URLs based on our moving interests, and split our identities a million different ways, and keep sarcastic “me” tags full of self-deprecating text posts. we are difficult beasts to catch, because we have not been allowed to exist.

i spent a lot of time today googling the word for “pseudonymous biography” and came up empty-handed (if someone knows of an existing word, pls let me know. “pseudography” is apparently a fancy word for a typo; “pseudobiography” is a fake biography), so for lack of anything better, i’ve come up with the term “socknography” because 1) it’s funny and doesn’t sound intimidating, and 2) it encapsulates the sensitive and complicated way fanauthor identifying conventions work. and also i think “fanauthor biography,” “bibliography,” and “profile” just doesn’t cut it for the actual work of these pieces. they don’t necessarily include IRL biographical data, they include more historical/community context than a bibliography, and the words “profile” and “about me” don’t really inspire interaction, or acknowledge the archival importance of this work.

astolat’s fanlore page is my go-to example. astolat writes under multiple pseuds and has major influence in the history of fandom. she’s also a traditionally published author, but you notice, her ofic novels are not mentioned, nor any other real-life identifying information. fanlore has a really good policy on this in place, for those concerned about doxxing. 

(moreover, i am not suggesting you centralize your socks. they’re socks for a reason. but most everyone has a main, and that main identity has a story.)

there are 2 existing spaces to preserve socknographies. 

fanlore, a wiki owned by the OTW, you can make an account and create a user page (which is different than a “person” page) using a user profile template

ao3′s “profile” page, which is a big blank box in which anything goes

(i’m not including tumblr on this list because i don’t think it’s a stable platform.) 

fanlore’s template is straight to the point and minimal, which doesn’t really invite narrative the same way a literary bio would. ao3′s big blank box leaves us with the question -- wtf do i say about myself? how do i say it? how much is too much? and because of that, most profiles are either blank or only include a policy on translations/podfic/fanart, and maybe links to tumblr and twitter. but let me tell you, if i have read your fic and taken the time to move over to your profile, you better believe i am a fan. and as a fan, i want to Know Things.

here are the things i want to know, or

a potential template:

introduction (name/alias, age, location, pronouns, occupation)

accomplishments (degrees, personal history)

fan history (fandoms you’ve been in, timeline as a fan, how you were introduced to fandom/fanfiction, what does fandom mean to you -- this is where your fan narrative goes)

fandom participation (popular fics/posts, involvement in fan events/communities, side blogs, interviews, etc. 3 & 4 might be one and the same for you)

spotlight (which of your fics are most important to you/would you like others to read and why? what are the stories behind your favorite fics you’ve written?)

find me elsewhere* (links to tumblr, twitter, insta, etc.)

policies on fanart, fanfic of fic, podfics, and translations

*you cannot link to ko-fi, paypal, patreon, or amazon on ao3/fanlore per the non-commercial terms of service

i’ll be working on filling this out for my own profile as an example, but you can also see how my @fanauthorworkshop participants filled out their fanauthor spotlights, and the information they provided. obviously, you should only share that which you feel comfortable sharing, and as your fandom life changes, your narrative will change too. it’s not much different than updating a CV or resume.

tl;dr the goal is to provide a self-narrative of your fan life/identity for posterity. who are you and why are you a fanperson? why do you create fan content? what are you proud of and what do you want to highlight to others? who are you in this space?

[magic-owl]

i wish these had numbers to not take up room but alas: what is your absolute favorite ship? what’s a ship you like that most people don’t? what is the most underrated ship, in your opinion? (choose any of your fave pairings for the following bc I'm curious about all your faves) rate [pairing] from 1-10 and explain why. what’s your favorite headcanon of [pairing]? what’s your favorite canon moment of [pairing]? favorite AU ideas for [pairing]? what song(s) remind you of [pairing]?

Thank you my dear! You are my Star Wars Friend so I’ll keep it SW focused (if you wanted to ask this to solely find out what else I liked BESIDES SW sorry lol just let me know and I can redo it). This got long because turns out I have a lot to say about my ships so answers under the cut!!! xD

Absolute favorite ship: This one’s kinda hard but I’m gonna have to go with Obi Wan/Anakin! I also like them a lot as a trio with Padmé, but overall I gotta say these two are just my faves? Why? Because they are such a M E S S and gosh I just love them so much. Ppl say they don’t like each other very much but come on, have you watched the TCW, have you watched RotS, they’re the greatest team there ever was, they’re constantly fretting and worrying about each other, they’re always teasing (the constant banter omg boys pls) at each other and hyping the other up and believing in each other and Ahsoka literally calls them her adoptive guardians in the Ahsoka novel, that’s how much of a family they were and ugh they’re just so married. And they’re such a TRAGEDY and it breaks my heart and it’s delicious to watch because in the final fight it’s just heartbreaking betrayal because through it all they love each other so much and that’s WHY they’re so furious with each other because to them it feels like the ultimate betrayal. Even after (when after everything, Obi Wan still loved Anakin too much to kill him himself) they’re constantly on the other’s mind, and ugh the pain hurts but in such a good way, and how in the end Anakin did the right thing and Obi Wan was RIGHT THERE to help guide him back to the light in spirit and now they can rest happily together for eternity (with some spare stressing about, ya know, Kylo Ren and the impending return of Sidious, but never mind all that). and on top of that, it’s my fave because I also absolutely love their relationship platonically as well, as much as I LIKE to see them together, it’s not necessary for me because they have such an enjoyable dynamic. *coughs* Sorry, so yea, they’re my disaster faves! 😅

A ship I like that most people don’t: See above lol. I get aspects of the Obikin ship can be problematic in the whole power dynamic and age difference thing, but I’ve only ever shipped it after Anakin was knighted as an adult when there’s literally not a problem with it (it was weird for me because I watched the prequels totally out of order. I actually saw the TCW cartoon FIRST and then I saw RotS and then I didn’t watch the first two for a while after that because I was a fool and listened to prequel bashers who said the first two weren’t good, so when I started shipping them as adults that was all I saw them as). To be honest, for the most part the PT fandom is done with the drama since ya know, like a good half of the SW general fandom still hates us, so no one’s really vocal about not liking it and our shipping community is mostly left to ourselves, but every once in a while I’ll come across a joke post/fanart of the two and OP will be all snarky in the notes like “tag as a ship and I’ll come after you with my spiked bat” (someone’s exact words btw) and it’s like ok jeez, do not interact then, was minding my own business dude...

My most underrated ship: Hmmmm....... Gonna have to go between Luke/Ezra and Satine/Padmé. Skybridger I understand since they’ve literally never met in canon, but come ON, they’d get along like a house on fire and argh they should have met, it would be great. I honestly don’t get why Pads and Satine aren’t more of a thing (THEY DON’T EVEN HAVE AN OFFICIAL SHIPNAME ;_; ) cuz c’mon they’re the subtler explosive yin to Obi and Ani’s wildfire yang. They get along great and work together really well, and they both seem to have a type. I am doing them a little better in my new OT4 fic, and I hope ppl like it!!! Ya know what, I’m also gonna add Kaeden (cute girl from the Ahsoka novel!) and Ahsoka because even if a lot of ppl actually ship them, they hardly have any content and neED MORE DANGIT THEY WERE SO CUTE!!!!!!!

Gonna go with Obikin for all the following ones cuz I haven’t had the chance to gush about my boys in a while and you’ve opened Pandora’s box

Rate them from 1-10: 10, plus a hundred more points because I love them, then subtract that hundred again cuz Anakin is an gotdang idiot who ruined it and now they both make me cry. My scoring reasons are that they make me feel all the emotions and I love them Ever So Much and argh.

Fave headcanon: Oh boy, I’ve got a couple actually!

Whenever they’re talking/arguing over the phone, they’re always subconsciously mirroring each other’s actions even when they can’t see what the other is doing. It’s kinda creepy because you’ll hear yelling and it’ll look like one of them’s talking to an invisible person in front of them when it’s actually each other.

There has been multiple instances of them both getting injured in battle because they were distracted watching the other be a total badass (not that either will admit it)

Neither of them are morning people. AT ALL. Obi Wan actually has self-discipline and is able to get up with an alarm and crankily drag them both up, but both are almost impossible to deal with until they’ve had caffeine in them, and it’s been established that unless you want to risk murder, neither of them talks in the morning until caffeine has been provided.

There has been many, many cases of accidentally taking the other’s robe and not realizing it but thinking to themselves that said robe feels more comforting than usual today.

A mutually drunken arm wrestling match absolutely turned into a mutually drunken makeout once. Neither can remember it, and they wonder why some of the clones have been acting funny all week.

Half of the Temple thinks they’re already dating.

Ok I’ll stop it here

Fave Canon Moment: Ughhh, this is HARD. I really like the “any closer and you’d be kissing it” line in TCW, basically any moment in TCW when one of them refers to Ahsoka as “OUR padawan”, the extra long stares and unnecessary touches they give each other in TCW, the elevator scene in RotS movie (THE NOVEL MAKES IT A MILLION TIMES BETTER), also in RotS the way Anakin is half-ready to straight up fight Palpatine when he suggests leaving Obi Wan behind to die, the RotS “No loose wire jokes” bit, the RotS “Roger. Roger.” bit (OKAY JUST THE WHOLE FIRST HALF OF THIS RIDICULOUS MOVIE), the way Vader built his big stupid castle where they had their breakup, the way he’s constantly mentioning Obi Wan when the convo wasn’t even about him, seeing them together again at the end of RotJ (whoops you asked for one, you get MANY SCENES)

Fave AU ideas: Again, there’s a couple!

Superpower AU: Can’t decide whether I’d put this in canon or modern. Most powers in this AU are stolen from inspired by X-Men, DC, and other popular media, so I’m torn between Anakin having Jean Grey/Dark Phoenix style powers while Obi Wan had a variation on Rogue’s with additional energy manipulation. OR it would be a thing where Anakin could commune with the dead a la Klaus from Umbrella Academy while Obes had sort of Avatar-style wind/flight powers. (Both are relevant for different plots).

Sith AU: I know these are far from unpopular in the SW fandom, but the way I’d do it would be to try and write two stories at once, update one every other week so one update a week total. The stories would what would happen if either of them became the Sith Apprentice after the events of Episode 1, and how their dynamic would be during Ep 2 and The Clone Wars with one of them on the other side. It’s funny because the way I’ve plotted it, the Sith!Ani fic would have very big Good Omens vibes, while the Sith!Obi one would have very strong Under the Red Hood vibes, so two VERY different dynamics going on xD

WWII Spies: This is one I 100% plan to write someday, even tho it is a very long time from now. It’s basically following Anakin as an American naval pilot who got injured in a crash and discharged. He still wants to serve and eventually his talent gets him into the intelligence end of the war and sent to Europe where he meets Ben, who’s been working with British intelligence since it broke out, and sparks fly. I’m kind of cheating here cuz as of now this is an Obianidala story, not just Obikin, but it’s one I’m very excited for

Phantom of the Opera AU: This idea I had when I realized that Anakin as Vader is kinda a Lot like the Phantom, but he’s also a Lot like Christine too. So it turned into Anakin as a talented ballet dancer getting preyed on by Palpatine!Phantom (there is NO romance there, Palpy is a total creep and will be treated as such) with Obi Wan as a combination of Raoul and Madame Gery and I have a bunch of ideas and idk if it’s gonna be an actual thing, but I want it to.

Shapeshifter AU: Canon, not very complicated but they can all shift into animals. Obi Wan is a kind of cougar panther cat with a fluffy ginger tail, and Anakin is a big grumpy black Krayt Dragon with a stump for a front leg.

Not A Jedi!AU: One in canon in which set like the Sith!AU, two different stories exploring how their dynamic would be if one of them wasn’t found by the Order. As of now, I’ve got Anakin as the warrior pirate prince of Tatooine, after having grown up and staged a slave rebellion, then promptly put his mother on the throne, and Obi Wan’s there to negotiate something during TCW and things happen. For the Obi Wan one, he’s a political journalist and war correspondent who keeps on running into Anakin’s assignments and popping up where he’s stationed and Anakin has to keep this idiot from getting himself killed/stop asking me annoying questions that criticize the Jedi and the government.

Dark!AU: A kind of morbid canon divergent fic where Padmé dies early and unexpectedly (Palps didn’t plan it). Anakin goes off the rails and Obi Wan agrees to go with him on a murder vengeance roadtrip to try and keep him from Falling or the Sith from getting to him. He kinda fails and they both Fall in a way and it ends with them hunting down Sidious’ players one by one. I’m not entirely sure I want to continue with this tho because it plays strongly on the Fridged Woman trope, which I can’t stand. I’d have to figure out how to give Padmé some sort of active role after her death...

Songs to describe them: There’s a couple (I could have very well gone cranky but I decided to do (mostly) serious))(also my music taste kinda stinks)

Icarus— Bastille

Anna Sun— WALK THE MOON

Animal I Have Become— Acoustic cover by Vitamin String Quartet (original by Three Days Grace) (seriously y’all listen it’s sooooo gooooood)

Warriors— Imagine Dragons

My Demons— STARSET

Ignorance— Paramore

Set Fire to the Rain— Adele

Stubborn Love— The Lumineers

How to Save A Life— The Fray (yes i am aware it is stereotypical angst song leave me Alone it FITS)

Viva la Vida— Coldplay (tbh this fits like the entire PT but I liked it)

Raised by Wolves— U2 (another more PT-centric, but this one works dangit)

Bonus Broadway Song! : Confrontation from Les Miserables (now that ya think of it, that would be a pretty good AU too.....)

Bonus Broadway Song! : The Tango Maureen from Rent (I always imagined this one as Obi Wan and Padmé about Anakin, but it would be about something other than cheating cuz canon has established Anakin views cheating as a worse crime than murder, so yea)

Bonus Broadway Song! : Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better (aight this one’s mostly a joke but come ON don’t tell me that’s not completely them xD)

[janiedean]

What is the hp fandom problem?

......... X°°°°DDDD 

short answer: everything.

HARRY P/OTTER FANS PLS SCROLL I HAVE NO INTEREST IN GETTING A DEBATE ON THIS IT’S MY HUMBLE OPINION FEEL FREE TO DISAGREE BYE

long answer in practical bullet points:

80% of it can’t seem to understand nor accept the fact that some people don’t like HP and you always have to explain yourself and then you can’t even write on your blog that you’re sick tired of it because ‘it’s not even everywhere!!!’

that goes for ppl online and irl who kept on pestering me that I HAD TO READ IT and then spoil me what happened to convince me when I said I wasn’t interested

they got eight movies, one play, potter*more, a prequel that will become another five and idek how much extra material and they still bitch about ridiculous shit like HERMIONE’S DRESS IN THE LAST MOVIE when *my* favorite series is a yuletide favorite and got one shitty af movie that was justly a box office bomb because it tried to put seven books into one hour and thirty five and fucked up about everything and no one’s read it anyway, so when I was reading it no one would listen to me discussing it but I had to listen to them when discussing hp

I’m sick tired of the should hermione have ended up with harry or ron debate which has been in my life since I was twelve and tbh I don’t care

it’s been ten years since the last book came out and they’re still on the fucking snape discourse

the snape discourse

good lord there’s one gray character in these books that I haven’t even read but even *I* know he was an asshole who was eventually working for the greater good which is like THE BASIC DEFINITION OF GRAY CHARACTER and people are still arguing about whether he was bad or good JUST STOP I WANT SNAPE DISCOURSE TO BURN

people on tumblr still don’t tag their hp posts with hp so I have to read drama anyway and now that I blacklisted snape I see less but I still see drama and I DON’T CARE

actually people have been arguing about the same shit since those books came out and I was tired of it happening with spn when I still was caught up with it and I liked it, imagine hearing that over and over with hp when I don’t even care

there’s one of the popular *headcanons* which I see in untagged fanart all of the time and gives me the creeps because it’s like the most unknowingly colonialist thing in existence but good luck telling people it’s actually not exactly progressive (no it’s not about hermione, nO I’m not discussing it I’m not that much of a masochist, YES it’s so terrible even *I* noticed with my admittedly secondhand background) and I’d really appreciate having it out of my life along with every hp headcanon wank I had to see

it’s everywhere

70% of the people in hp fandom can’t conceive discussing any other piece of media without bringing in hp and comparing every gray character to snape even if they don’t have anything to do with snape and I’m really Done TM with seeing it as the thing everything has to be compared against

the only thing second to how done I am with the snape discourse is OMG BUT SHOULD HAVE JKR HAVE SAID EXPLICITLY IN THE BOOK THAT DUMBLE*DORE WAS GAY and now it’s going to come up again with the next movie and I’m gonna have to blacklist shit forever

ah, and that my favorite series has no fandom whatsoever and rn you can’t go into it while saying you prefer book canon because then YOU’RE RACIST BECAUSE YOU HATED THE MOVIE BECAUSE THEY RACEBENT THE LEAD while hp has the largest fandom in existence and people could happily coexist in peace while finding virtually anything/any ship/any fic because it’s that big that you will find someone likely-minded but nah, they have to tear themselves over with wank about snape when this book’s been out for twenty years like pls

ah, and that of course EVERY small fandom in existence has the hogwarts au but not anything else and I hate hogwarts aus since I, uh, don’t like hp

sorry for the extra vitriol but you asked I reply, hp fans pls scroll xD

[eastendies]

Hey it's your gift exchange person! I'm writing you a fic so what are your favourite tags? Any AUs you especially like? Specific characters you want/dont want in it? Your favourite tropes? The POV you want it in? I'm here to please so pls dont hold back on anything you want, specific or not 💕

I super super put this off (sorry my dude) but i DEF got some fav aus

- anything ww2 and ww1 related?? I'm a SUCKER for anything historical related so you can go to the Victorian era or even the 1950s and i would be so flipping happy like I LOVE the effort and care that goes into historical fics plus its not smth you find a lot in this fandom?? So many THEMES you can do with ww1 too, like Callum is there for longer and he's way more jaded than anyone else but is still kind and gives a crap abt ppl and Ben arrives at the front and hes already so miserable and Callum just kinda helps him out and tells funng jokes to make him smile and it doesn't make any sense bc??? Why are you happy??? And Callum just gives a fuck abt ppl?? The themes you could tie in!! The emotion!! The crying!! The angst!! The existentialism!! The fun times when they're allowed to be ppl!! (Bascially do anything historical and I'll guarantee I'll do fanart for that fic and 2 more of your own i love the genre that much)

- another au idea is (and I've posted this before on here) Lexi not liking Callum and Callum having to earn her trust, just a general family building fic? Lexi can be wary and/or jealous of the time her dad is spending away from her for this random guy and Callum tries to win her over but she refuses bc she feels like she's losing her dad and what makes HIM so great and maybe at the end they have this tiny moment together at the end that's just super heart warming where Callum says Lexi doesn't have to like him and his whole character arc is that he's found peace with that and Lexi says smth like "you won't hurt him wont you" and Callum is stunned but says "no I won't. I promise" and they maybe have a small hug and Lexi just likes him better from than on bc he's different from all of her dad's other boyfriends and just AAAA THE FOUND FAMILY I CANTTT

- also, just in general, pls acknowledge that ben is HOH/Deaf in some way?? Like maybe not profoundly deaf like he is now (it can always be set in the past or with a cochlear implant, but still he isn't Hearing and I would super appreciate it if you acknowledge that in some way!!

- for characters I'm game for everyone with maybe an emphasis on Shirley?? Love her attitude. Also Frankie!! My fav!! Pls add her as well if you can!! Himbo Callum is also a must. Keep his Halfway side

- for tropes in general I don't like it when the end goal is the relationship?? Like have there actually BE a romance and not just kiss and its over. If just generally, I LOVE funny stories. Comedy is king. I love drama but pls put in the humor!! That stuff makes me want to keep reading for ages and gets me invested!! There was this one ballum fic that was super into making everything funny (i think it was that house fixing partners one) and it got me so invested that its still one of my favs out there. Also found family. Bc that's important.

- general ticks: no present tense, no 1st person pov, no heavy exposition, and pls have varying sentence structure. And for some reason I'm kinda over Callum thinking he's in super duper in love with Whitney and then cheating on her and having this inner crisis, like its interesting and def go there if you think you can spice it up but its kinda boring to me by now?? Or maybe don't make it the focus

Sorry again for the long response time, let me know if you see this, gift anon, and let me know what you think!!

[mysticorigamipaper-mcl]

honestly the worst part about kentin´s arc is how much hate he is getting, i get most ppl already dont like him but now is fucking ridiculous i literally cannot go to his tag on a normal episode without reading "how awful" he is but now is worst,i just want to see cute fanart! I hate the tumblr mcl fandom, the hispanic fandom will make fun of things and even say they dont like a character but it never overflows with negativity (ik im super annoying but i need to vent and have no friends)

*hugs* You have a friend in me anon. You’re not being annoying, and venting can help one feel a little better. I’m sorry to hear there’s more negativity towards Kentin and his fans. And I also realized a while back there was little positivity towards him in the tumblr fandom. I try to give all the boys some attention through posts and fan art on my blog to share with all fans, but I noticed Kentin receives the least. It’s actually hard to find good/cute content with him in it. Though Kentin may not be my favorite personally, I can see why others like him, and it’s a shame there isn’t more material available. Not to mention that anyone who seems to voice that they like him receive so much hate in return and are shamed for their personal interest in his character/route. It must be absolutely frustrating.

Yes, after the latest episode Kentin is getting more hate than usual. But I think part of it is more towards his attitude change in the recent events since we met Evan. And his behavior towards strangers and women in general. I mean, he and Evan were acting the same, if not worse than Dake when he was always harassing Candy. Treating a girl/woman or anyone the way they did to Candy and Rosa in this episode is something very relatable in the real world. It’s unacceptable, uncomfortable and upsetting behavior. That’s why people are more angry than usual. His attitude is something a lot of us face. There are guys that actually act like this, and it may be triggering many who have experienced such attitudes in real life.

Apart from that, this is how I see his situation. Evan was Kentin’s role model and surrogate big brother in military school. Not only did Evan defend Kentin from bullies, he apparently gave him confidence and molded Kentin, transforming him while he was there.

And Kentin seems to be very grateful for what Evan has done for him. When Kentin returns to Sweet Amoris, no one recognizes him. Thanks to this, his first plan of action is get back at Amber by stealing her first kiss (her not knowing he was the nerd she used to bully) and then telling her she’s a bad kisser, in an attempt to lower her ego/self esteem. He even smashed her new cell phone. He wasn’t about to let anyone bully him anymore. And he wanted that made clear through Amber. If your Candy was mean to him before military school, he is cold towards you. If you were nice, he’s nice towards you when he returns.

Once he’s back, he befriends Armin and Alexy and no one seems to bother or bully him. He becomes more relaxed and doesn’t try so hard to put on the tough guy act. He becomes a sweet guy again (as long as your Candy is nice to him), just slightly more mature as he’s not stalking Candy anymore like a lovesick puppy. I think with the absence of Evan and the other boys, Kentin wasn’t fired up and influenced to act the way he did in military school where you had to act tough, macho and not allow anyone walk all over you. But later, I think he started feeling out of place at Sweet Amoris, if not alone. Though he clicked right away with Armin and Alexy, Armin started becoming more of a friend towards Nathaniel. Alexy has a crush on Kentin but they don’t hang out a lot, if at all these days. And he doesn’t seem to be getting along with any of the other guys, or any of the girls in his class, apart from the few conversations we’ve seen him have with Lysander or while our Candy is present in his route. Then, for those on his route, even when he finally gets to date his long time crush and kiss her, his confidence in himself and his self esteem appears to continue to dwindle. First Candy wants to hide their relationship from everyone as soon they officially become a couple (Kentin more than likely thought she was embarrassed or ashamed to be seen with him as his girlfriend) and it hurt him deeply. Then at the party during spin the bottle, Kentin became upset when another guy tries to kiss Candy on a dare and claims Candy doesn’t realize how beautiful/wonderful she is and how could other guys NOT be interested in her. I think him witnessing that and becoming more aware of that reality seriously made him question if he was good enough for Candy, if he was manly enough, if he was the kind of guy she wanted to be with. Again, his level of confidence drops.

Once Evan returns, Kentin is suddenly brought back to his military school days, and that macho attitude kicks in like Pavlov’s dogs to a dinner bell. Kentin suddenly feels like he’s brimming with confidence with his old buddy back at his side, and admires/mimics Evan to a horrifying degree. Kentin becomes so overconfident that he shifts into an arrogant, rude person. Notice how he talks back to everyone and becomes disrespectful towards Candy and the other classmates, as well as the teachers. He thinks that this new confidence makes it so no one messes with him, that no one will try to walk all over him again.

Be that as it may, I think he’s distancing himself from everyone. Putting up a wall. Making sure no one approaches him. Not even his own girlfriend. Because he’s hiding so many insecurities and fears. He has no identity. No self worth. No friends. He doesn’t have much of a father figure since his dad is gone a lot, and therefore no male figure to look up to or learn from. Until Evan came along. Evan was everything Kentin thought a man should be. Strong, confident and assertive. And because Kentin became so grateful of Evan’s support, he failed to notice Evan’s flaws. Arrogant, harassing, even delinquent like. Kentin becomes blind to Evan’s and his own behavior and makes excuses or gets defensive when people call him out on it. He gets upset when people tell him Evan is a bad influence. But to Kentin, Evan was the only person who ever seemed to be there for him when no one else was. It’s why he tries so hard to defend Evan and his actions. And as a result, Kentin becomes the very type of person he hates without knowing it. And he doesn’t want to see it.

He’s scared…he’s alone…he’s frustrated…he’s completely lost. That’s a dangerous and self destructive combination. And until Kentin accepts who he really is, learns to truly be himself or figures out what he can become/wants to become on his own, without the influence of anyone but himself, he’ll continue to have this identity crisis. I just hope for his sake, that will come about on some serious self reflection in the next episode.

[kyungpom]

i didn’t and that just goes to show how reliable the info that is being passed around is. i’m not gonna link the post so i won’t direct anyone there but it’s a sub!soo url (no surprises here) i can’t believe somebody has put that much effort into pulling stuff out of my blog to present it to people out of context to “prove” i’m a horrible person and to have an excuse to attack me and incite people to do the same and to intimidate others so that they won’t associate with me. and all because i talked about heteronormativity in kyungsoo fic. “it’s a shame that even though topping or bottoming doesn’t have to be tied to personality or physical appearance a lot of people can’t accept that and you can’t even talk about it because it causes a riot. “

point proven. a year ago some kaisoo shippers attacked me because of a stupid post, started a top vs bottom war in the tags, a big ksoo blog made a post about me and somebody sent me a message that said something like “we’re coming for you” and i didn’t think it would take them this long to come back, whoever that was.

so i saw a callout post for me with screencaps and they added one of my replies where an anon asked me what are my fave ships and i said smth like: ksoo/animals, ksoo/kids im ????? (if the joke wasn’t clear i meant to say i like kyungsoo interacting with animals, kids and i think i’ve even said i like him/food more than i like ships lmao i don’t even have an otp cause i don’t obsess over fictional relationships like that. i think i even said ksoo/himself once. i always change the answer when ppl ask me about my otp cause i don’t have one. and then they proceeded to interpret other posts related to children in a p*dophillic way.

and btw i don’t use “shipping” as romantic exclusively because humans are more complicated than that so that’s another thing to keep in mind in the future.

and on the topic of fiction they also posted some darker headcanons and posts about movies to demonstrate how i think kyungsoo is actually like that when i literally used the word headcanon which means it’s a personal interpretation separate from reality, hence the ‘head’ part of the word aka i don’t think it’s real it’s just in your head and you shouldn’t think so either but i guess some people don’t know how to read?) this blog clearly says in the description there will be darker stuff in here. IF NOT from fic, fanart or headcanons, from kyungsoo’s own works:

and we will talk about them because what i intend to normalize in relation to dark fiction is not that these things are ok but that violent and dark thoughts like these are normal (ask anyone who’s got their head out of their ass, esp. a psychologist and you will see) they can be intrusive or nightmares or your own experiences, they can be things you’re afraid of and it’s ok to talk about them with someone who understands this, to analyze them, and to learn from them without fear of getting harassed (yes, you can learn from this stuff, believe it or not). because guess what? even your faves have their own inner world where dark things brew and are interested in this kind of fiction too! they might even want to play the most horrible characters themselves

(x)

(x)

these are some of the warnings for the movies he mentioned:

taken from the chaser & i saw the devil parental guides.

and you know why they wanna do it? me neither but i would like to hear them talk about it without the fear of the public lashing out at them for interpreting a character. but what can you really expect from a public that freaks out over something as normal as an idol dating? who screams out “p*dophile” at the slightest chance (remember when ksoo had a kiss with a minor in pure love and they kissed through an umbrella and ppl still found a way to make him look bad he even regretted his answers?)

the post also added fics with undeage characters... did you know one of those fics is literally a response to all the fic out there that romanticizes that sort of relationship?   (not linking the fic to protect the author but those who know the title can look it up)

kyungsoo himself, movie directors, fic authors and even simple bloggers like me trust kyungsoo to play a dislikable character precisely because we know he’s not like that and we believe in his potential to portray anything from a loving father to a serial killer.

i’ve always made it clear that the fic i post is not recs, they’re just fics i’ve read (i had the note for years on the fic list before i removed the page cause tumblr glitched and deleted my links and people still didn’t read it back then so meh) nobody really knows how i feel about the fics if they don’t ask me. and nobody knows the intention of the authors either so i hope you can all think before you speak and have the common sense to ask before you jump to conclusions. not because you see a word that means something horrible attached to a fic or anything it means the person is a bad influence and should be avoided at all costs. be grateful that they had the decency to warn so you could avoid it if you don’t want to see it and they didn’t omit it out of fear or ignorance like a lot of r*pe-y and emotionally abusive fic w/o warnings that people share like it’s romance.

wtf this person also sexualized a post where an anon and i talked about kyungsoo having children and glaring at them so they wouldn’t hurt themselves..... jesus have these people not been around children before? they run around naked and knock things off all the damn time, i cant believe they used THIS post sdfggfdsdf idk if i should laugh or cry oh my god.

just because my blog has a url like this it doesn’t mean everything’s meant to be sexual ???? it’s like having a url that says “exosdigbick” and posting pictures of exo’s bicks and then a picture of exo smiling and then a pic of them holding their dogs. it doesn’t have to be related. i didn’t even choose the url myself, it was the other owner of the blog (it’s kinda like saying “food porn") and i kept it after she left because when those who don’t know it see it they can imagine there will be some sexual stuff in here, mostly fic links, anon fantasies and the occassional reblogged nsfw fanart. i only rarely talk about my own sexual fantasies cause it’s awkward. and i’m even afraid to joke because ppl will literally take anything to twist it against you.

im sorry but @ anyone who comes across my blog with preconceived ideas pls leave them at the door and come see for yourself if you want or stay out looking like a fool. this blog isn’t a typical shipper blog or a ficrec blog or wtvr you’re used to seeing around, this is a personal blog dedicated to some underrated concepts (and wtvr else kyungsoo stuff i feel like reblogging at the moment) by an LGBT+ person who’s tired of the world’s bullshit and just wants to do stuff in peace. people misunderstand my sexuality, my gender, my mental illnesses, my everything all the time and that’s mostly from people who’s supposed to know and care about me so some strangers on the internet misunderstanding yet another thing about me is nothing new. callout post? u mean dedicated haters :\ it took me forever to find my own posts smh

[sleepykichii]

11 Questions Tag

i was tagged by @pinkheichou @tiny-heichou and @salbelni so that's uh...that's 33 questions holy shit this is gonna be forever long lmaoo

Rules: 1. Always post the rules 2. Answer the questions given by the person who tagged you 3. Write 11 questions of your own 4. Tag 11 people

idk if it’ll tag you guys if i put them under the cut so! i tag: @tokyo-ghouls-eat-rawmen @kingtatsunari @bertoltssweat @sluttttysurveycorps @piningmarco @lesliebruhleria @iviarka @softymir @dallyingdivergent @levi-nyanchou @noodlesforlyfe  don’t feel obligated to do this!! 

1. Is there a book/movie that you’ve read/watched many times? Which one? i usually dont like rewatching/rereading things but my guilty pleasure is snk, i love to watch the dubbed episodes and compare it to the subbed episodes, i love going back and noticing details i couldnt bc i was reading subtitles, comparing manga panels to anime scenes, yknow, lil things like that 2. What do you love most about your friends? they try their best to cheer me up when they know i'm feeling down~ 3. Ever been a witness to someone doing something hella embarrassing? (You don’t have to tell anything about it) uh yeah, my best friend irl fell and literally slid down her stairs when she was drunk after prom last year and wanted to do it again 4. A fandom you didn’t think you would ever be a part of? tbh danganronpa. on my old blog, before i got back into watching anime, i thought their hair was rly...unique, to say the least, and didn't think i would ever give it the time of day 5. Do you have a “trash character” you like? komaeda :') and ouma, i know a lot of ppl rly don't like him lmao 6. Pastel or Black? black, i love pastels but i look rly good in black lmao 7. Pet peeves? when ppl ignore/interrupt me, unneccesary loud noises, lack of privacy, AND WHEN PPL CHEW WITH THEIR MOUTH OPEN OH MY GOD 8. If you had one free wish what would it be? (Wishing for xx/endless wishes is not allowed) i would wish to bring immense joy to myself and every person i crossed paths with! 9. What are your favourite tropes/AUs for your ships? holy SHIT im a slut for AUs. i lovelovelove actor AUs, zombie/post apocalyptic AUs, high school/boarding school AUs, college AUs, summercamp AUs, band AUs, coffee shop AUs, apartment AUs...i could rly go on but i'll stop lmaooo 10. Are you an emotional person? VERY 11. Are you more attracted to popular ships or rare pairs? i dont rly have a preference, if i see a ship i like, it's popularity doesn't concern me c:

1. Whats your favorite book? i rly don't know, i haven't read a book in forever fml i've already read all the books on my shelf and they're like...8th grade reading level :-// my most recent read was more than this by patrick ness and it was pretty good! 2. Do you collect anything? stickers!! i love stickers so much lmao what else...cute pins, and i'm slowly building a collection i call 'roadside paintings' where -- you guessed it -- i pick up deserted paintings on the side on the road. i currently have two hanging up in my room! 3. The last Song you listened to? sir sly - high 4. Do you like Tea? If yes whats your favorite kind of tea? fuck yeah!! tea > coffee, all day every day. i rly love blueberry acai green tea and papaya passionfruit black tea!! 5. Whats the first Anime/Manga you ever watched/read? if u wanna get technical, sailor moon was the first ever, but naruto is the first one i went out of my way to watch. the first manga was shugo chara! i would probably still read it bc the characters are adorable and the plot is interesting! 6. Whats your favorite childhood movie? pokemon 2000!! 7. Your favorite poem? the universe took its time on you crafted you precisely so you could offer the world something distinct from everyone else so when you doubt how you were created you doubt an energy greater than us both -rupi kaur 8. Your favorite Painting? i don't rly have one!! 9. Whats the most amazing thing that happened to you? still somehow being alive right this very second 10. Whats the Title of the last Fanfiction you have read? i wanna say it was something simple like 'roommates' or along those lines, i honestly haven't read fanfiction in a couple weeks;; 11. Write 3 Book, Fanfic and Manga Title that you totally recommend! i have the comprehension skills of a potato so idk if you mean three of each or three total so i'm just gonna do three total book: more than this - patrick ness (rly good, rly weird. makes you think about our reality a little more. worth a reread when you're finished so you can piece all the information together) fanfic: blue bear - afishoutofwater (snk/eremin - i was in tears by the end of this, it's so sad but very well written. major character death & angst, just a heads up!) manga: killing stalking (hoo boy. this isnt for the faint of heart, lots of dark themes along the lines of torture and murder. not everyone's cup of tea, and that's okay!! <3)

① What are you most proud of? this is probably stupid to be proud of but it's the first thing that came to mind even though i wasnt that good, i made it into my eighth grade talent show playing the keyboard i got up there in front of the entire middle school and fucked up tremendously BUT I DIDNT CHICKEN OUT! so!! +1 point for tay woohoo ② Have you ever been so impressed you were left speechless? if you mean impressed by someone's level of stupidity, yeah lmaooo, otherwise not rly ③ What’s your favorite time of day? 10AM - 2-3PM, i'm the only one awake during these hours (unless my mom has work) and the house is completely silent for once ④ Is there a certain song that gives you goosebumps everytime you hear it? history maker from yoi gave me goosebumps for a while but no song has consistently given me goosebumps lmao ⑤ Is there something, let it be a hobby/food/movie/book/song/etc., from your childhood that you still love today? i still collect stickers and i still rly love beanie babies...i also don't mind watching the berenstein bears/dragon tales with my niece bc those were my faves when i was a kid ⑥ What never fails to make you happy? my morning solitude and fluffy art/fanfics of my otps!! ⑦ Do you dream? If so, which one was most memorable? i dream sometimes, but my fave reccurring dream is where everything is neon, like the saturation has been yanked up 100%, and i'm just walking down a sidewalk minding my own business, and then it starts raining acid and everything starts melting away until i'm just kinda floating in the void lmao i usually wake up right after everything disappears ⑧ Who’s your favorite tumblr artist/writer/editor/etc.? Feel free to name/tag more than one! the first one that came to mind was @glassesgirl0401, rarepair mom for life ; v ; ⑨ What’s your favorite fanart? Could you please link to its source? omg i love every piece of fanart tht i reblog i cant pick just one!! i rly love how everyone has their own art style and ways of drawing certain things differently, the individuality is what makes art so amazing! ⑩ What’s your headcanoned sexuality/gender identity/romantic orientation of your favorite SNK character? omg there's so many tht i like aaaaa if i had to pick just one, it would be armin and he's hella gay :3 ⑪ ^May I draw them with their pride flag’s colors for you? AAAAAA PLEASE?? that would be so great?! thank you!!! <3

here are my questions, i tried to make them interesting! 1.) If you had one, what was your 'stereotype' in school? (jock, nerd, goth, etc) 2.) What are your favorite and least favorite foods? 3.) Who is your favorite character from your current fandom and why? 4.) If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? 5.) What are your favorite hobbies? 6.) Spring, Summer, Fall, or Winter? 7.) What's one obstacle you've overcome recently? 8.) Yes or no: Pineapple on pizza? Fries dipped in mayonnaise? Ketchup on eggs? 9.) What is your most resourceful skill? 10.) If you could pick three fictional characters to bring to life, who would they be and why? 11.) What is the end-goal for you; What do you want to do with your life?

thanks for reading this far lmao sorry that took a lot longer than i thought it would