#PLEASE VOTE FOR THIS DUMB JOKE IT MEANS A LOT
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matchillu · 4 years ago
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hairstevington · 2 years ago
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“Who looks like a better kisser?”
Steddie/Ronance (fluff, playful banter, teasing, flustered Steve)
Author’s Note: This is just a cute random one shot about my favorite gays. Probably gonna start writing about the fruity four a lot just because I’m obsessed with the dynamic lmao
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“Why does it even matter?” Robin whined, collapsing on the couch next to Nancy. She had just returned from a long shift and was immediately bombarded by Eddie and Steve playfully arguing over a bunch of bullshit, as they usually did.
“It doesn’t, I’m just trying to prove a point, here.” Eddie said. Steve rolled his eyes and put his hands on his hips.
“How long have they been at this?” Robin whispered to Nancy.
“Too long.” Nancy responded, sipping her drink and handing it to Robin so she could have some as well. “You can’t tell if somebody is a good kisser just by looks alone, guys. Can we drop this?”
“You totally can, and I will not. Which of us looks like they’d be better?” Eddie repeated.
“This is dumb.” Robin sighed. “And we’re not really the girls you should be asking.”
“Oh, I think you’re exactly the girls we should be asking.” Steve argued. “You’re unbiased.”
“I mean, are we? Considering you and Nancy-”
“Robin! Can we not?” Nancy hissed.
“Hey, I’m just saying maybe it would be helpful in deciding!” Robin laughed, kissing the annoyance off Nancy’s face.
“The question was who LOOKS like a better kisser, not who IS a better kisser. Steve and I dating is irrelevant.” Nancy concluded.
“Ouch, you hear that Harrington?” Eddie teased.
“I’m going to strangle you.” Steve said playfully.
“Pretty please?” Eddie smirked. Steve blushed so hard he nearly passed out.
“Gross, you guys.” Nancy commented, taking another sip of her drink.
“My bet’s on Eddie!” Robin decided.
“Really, Robin? After everything we’ve been through?” Steve joked.
“Sorry.” Robin, shrugged. “Remember when Billie said your lips looked too wet?”
“That doesn’t count, I had just chugged like a gallon of water.” Steve argued.
“Hold up, you and Hargrove?” Eddie asked, intrigued.
“Steve!! Are you serious?” Nancy interjected, her eyes bulging.
“No, no, no. Billie Jenkins. When would Hargrove and I have had time to flirt? After I hit him with that car?” Steve replied.
“Well, you did say you were in the school shower together that one time…” Robin insinuated. Eddie’s face lit up as he played along enthusiastically, gasping.
“Steve! Was I not your first guy crush?”
“Shut up, I did not have a thing for Billy Hargrove.” Steve spat at them.
“I mean, you were kind of obsessed with him when he first transferred.” Nancy revealed.
“Oh my god! Why is everybody ganging up on me right now?” Steve shouted.
“Because you look so cute when you’re flustered.” Eddie said, running his hands through Steve’s hair. “Nancy, come on, what’s your answer?”
“Who do I have to vote for in order to end this conversation?” Nancy remarked, dryly. The group laughed, then waited expectantly for her answer. “Fine. Based on looks alone, and not including any information I’ve since come to know about either of you…Eddie. It’s Eddie.” Robin and Eddie cheered.
“You guys are dead to me.” Steve uttered, pointing at the loved ones around him.
“If it’s any consolation, Steve, you are an amazing kisser!” Nancy insisted.
“Don’t pity me, Nance.” Steve dismissed.
“No, she’s telling the truth. When we first started dating I asked her about it.” Robin added. Steve’s glance darted towards her, confused. “What? I was curious!”
“Girls really do talk about everything, huh?” Eddie replied, amused. “Steve, babe, don’t worry about it. I wanted to kiss you the moment I saw your pretty face. Honest to god.”
“So what was the point of all this then?” Steve asked.
“Oh, I’m just an asshole.” Eddie smirked, putting his arm around Steve and pulling him close. “So, movie time?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TAGLIST: @ofherscarlettwitchways @livvyshmiv @paintballkid711 @abraca-fxckyou
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makeste · 3 years ago
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BnHA 323: “I Don’t Know How to Explain to You That You Should Care About Other People”
Previously on BnHA: Kacchan was all, “Izuku, I’m sorry.” Bakugou Stans were all, “[sobs for a week straight and tearfully awards him the Nobel Prize for character development].” Deku was all, “[faints in Kacchan’s arms].” Iida was all, “[trying to decide if Ochako genuinely tried to kill him a few minutes ago].” Horikoshi was all, “NO TIME FOR HUGS WE MUST GET BACK TO UA.” The civilians holed up at U.A. were all, “WE TOOK A VOTE AND DECIDED THAT WE’RE ALL GOING TO BE JERKS ABOUT THIS AND MAKE A BIG FUSS ABOUT YOU LETTING DEKU BACK INTO THE SCHOOL.” Deku was all “[stands there looking like he expected nothing less and breaking my heart more and more with each passing moment].” Ochako was all, “that does it, looks like I’m gonna have to do something about this... next chapter, that is.”
Today on BnHA: Flashback!Rat Principal is all “I just want you all to know that I spent nine million dollars turning U.A. into a giant Battleship-style grid that can burrow underground and zoom around in a giant subway maze because Horikoshi lacks a grounded understanding of both civil engineering and economics.” Back in the present day, Jeanist is all, “EVERYONE TAKE HEED, MY COMRADES AND I HAVE DEEMED IT EXPEDIENT TO CONVEY THIS AUSPICIOUS YOUTH BACK TO THIS STRONGHOLD. WE ANTICIPATE THAT WE MAY DEPEND UPON YOUR GOODWILL AND ACQUIESCENCE TO THESE TERMS.” The civilians were all, “NO.” Ochako was all, “EMPATHY, MOTHERFUCKERS, DO YOU SPEAK IT?!” The civilians were all, “oh shit.” Anyway so Ochako is a giant badass, but I’m a little worried that she’s going to get struck by lightning. Please come down from there.
so before we start this chapter, I would just like to apologize for having not posted the ch 321 recap yet, and would like to reassure everyone, and especially Iida who is staring at me with Sad Wobbly Guilt Trip Eyes, that I will get to that as soon as I can
OMG FLASHBACK??
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yes please Horikoshi please show us more of class 1-A and their Deku intervention strategy jam sessions
oh dear
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Iida you are too pure and good for this cruel world. [sprays the U.A. civilians with a water bottle] NO. BAD CIVILIANS! NO OSTRACIZING SCARED AND EXHAUSTED CHILDREN IN THE HOUSE
EXCUSE ME RAT PRINCIPAL WHAT’S WITH THESE MIXED MESSAGES
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???
RAT PRINCIPAL: he’s free to return to us at any time!!
ALSO RAT PRINCIPAL: but it’s too risky for him to return to us
?? ??????? ?????????????????????
so now he’s going on about how strong the U.A. Barrier is, and how it’s comparable to the defensive capabilities of Tartarus. this would have sounded a lot more impressive before chapter 297 lol
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OH!!!! HELLO, WHAT’S THIS!!!
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A TIMELY CALLBACK TO A CERTAIN MYSTERIOUS EVENT WHICH HASN’T BEEN REFERENCED SINCE USJ? [U.A. TRAITOR MUSIC INTENSIFIES]
so now Rat Principal says he upgraded U.A.’s security systems with his own “modifications”, whatever the fuck that means. I mean look, I’ve been saying for a long time now that U.A. is the best place for everyone to hole up, don’t get me wrong. but that was mostly on account of there not being any other practical alternatives. but you’re making it sound like you figured out a way to actually make it Decay-proof or some wild shit like that
-- hold up, DID YOU ADD A FORCE FIELD. DID YOU TRICK THIS SCHOOL OUT WAKANDA-STYLE YOU CRAZY MARSUPIAL. HOLY SHIT. because that would actually be perfect
LMAO
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WHAT KIND OF GALAXY BRAIN BULLSHIT. “NAH THERE’S NO NEED FOR A FORCE FIELD, LET’S JUST PUT WHEELS ON IT”
oh okay so the whole campus is basically capable of burrowing itself underground. that’s insane lol I wonder how they pulled that off. probably got poor Cementoss working overtime
blah blah blah so basically the entire campus is split into a grid and each section of the grid is capable of its own independent movement. lol this is just the Merone Base from KHR. you thought no one would notice this casual plagiarism ten years after the fact, but YOU UNDERESTIMATED YOUR AUDIENCE, HORIKOSHI
“joke’s on you imma just lampshade it” WELL ALL RIGHT THEN
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“look at me I’m so fucking self-aware” fucking swear to god. I can’t believe this man is my favorite mangaka of all time smdh
“excuse me, I wasn’t finished describing all the rest of this bullshit yet,” Rat Principal breaks in impatiently. “we also added a steel wall all around the underground of the campus that’s 3000 steel plates thick. that’s fifteen fucking meters of solid fucking steel just fyi. and if anyone fucks around with any part of it the defense system will activate immediately! and also all of the plates are independently motorized, whatever the fuck that means!! in conclusion you’re gonna need a fucking tower crane to suspend all of your disbelief by the time I’m through with this paragraph”
“also Shiketsu is almost as reinforced as U.A. but not quite because we still had to make sure we were better.” but of course. and apparently the two schools are connected via a secret tunnel as Hagakure mentioned earlier
LSDKFJLSDKJFLK
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“WAIT WHAT” LMAO YOU HEARD HIM, NOW INASA CAN VISIT YOU BOTH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND TELL YOU ALL ABOUT THE WEIRD DREAM HE HAD. GOD BLESS YOU HORIKOSHI
(ETA: moment of appreciation for Shouto and Katsuki having the same thought at the same time and making Knowing Eye Contact and saying the exact same thing out loud in perfect unison like the best friends they are. what a blessed day.)
so Tokoyami is all “but wait if you engineered all this shit all the way back during the Band arc how did you even know that Tomura’s quirk awakening would become a thing, Horikoshi -- uh, I mean, Principal Nezu”
and Rat Principal is all “lol idk”
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“basically I just woke up one morning and was all ‘say, you know what this school really needs? a fifteen-meter-thick underground steel wall, and the ability to break up into little pieces that individually zoom around wherever the fuck they want.’ jesus christ. lol if money and common sense were apparently no obstacle why didn’t you just teleport U.A. to the fucking moon or something. maybe I should shut up before I given him any ideas
dsfaelkjldkjgl
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you heard it here first, folks, all of this cost a grand total of nine million U.S. dollars. well technically it cost “more than” nine million dollars. never has that distinction been more important lmao. are we sure this barrier was really made of steel and not cardboard? who the hell sold it to them, Ea-Nasir??
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this is my favorite manga series of all time. yes I am ashamed
“in conclusion please do your best to reach Deku-kun” SO WHAT WAS ALL THAT NONSENSE ABOUT IT BEING TOO RISKY THEN. anyway thank you for this super informative and edifying flashback, Horikoshi. I will cherish it always. I don’t even want to read another translation of this absurdity lmao, there’s something special about it just the way it is. pretty sure Horikoshi just had a cracked out fever dream one night and transferred it to the pages of the manga verbatim
anyway so back to the unruly mob
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not their finest moment. please excuse me while I cover poor Deku’s ears and give him a good shoosh pap
oh wow the parents are out here too
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is Mitsuki trying to hold Inko back?? that’s the last thing this fandom needs right now is more Mitsuki discourse fffwlkjs. and even Jiroudad, scientifically proven to be the best dad in all of BnHA, is just standing there silently looking vaguely unhappy. way to rise to the moment you guys
MONOMA
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so this settles it for me that Aizawa is not at UA. I know a lot of people have been wondering about his whereabouts, and if I had to wager a guess it would be that something happened with Shirakumo/Kurogiri. I can’t think of anything else -- even the loss of an eye and a limb -- that would keep him from his kids at a time like this
anyway but this is excellent Monoma content right here though. I love that he apparently adopted Eri after a single interaction with her. also WHERE IS SHINSOU DAMMIT. THE PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW
and Kouta’s there too looking like he wants to run over to Deku but Ragdoll won’t let him :/
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it’s gotta be pretty upsetting for him to see his hero like this and not having anyone stand up for him. [taps megaphone] IS THIS THING ON. OKAY YEAH IT SEEMS TO BE WORKING. AHEM. PAGING URARAKA OCHAKO. GONNA NEED YOU TO GET OVER HERE ALREADY AND MAKE THAT BIG DRAMATIC SPEECH WHICH YOU ARE CLEARLY DYING TO MAKE. IF YOU DON’T DO IT SOON I’M GONNA HAVE TO STEP IN, AND YOU REALLY DON’T WANT ME TO DO THAT SINCE MY SPEECH WILL NOT BE VERY GOOD OR INSPIRING, AND WILL PROBABLY JUST CONSIST OF “HELLO, YOU ARE ALL STUPID, PLEASE SHUT UP AND GO AWAY”
so now Mic is telling them to calm down. at least someone’s speaking up here, geez
OH MY GOD
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MY MAN JEANIST OUT HERE DOING WHAT HE DOES BEST: MAKING EVERYONE FEEL GUILTY AND JUDGED
OH MY GOD HE IS GIVING SUCH A LONG AND BORING SPEECH LMAO IS YOUR STRATEGY TO PUT THEM ALL TO SLEEP OR WHAT
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truly in awe of this man’s ability to take messages which could easily be conveyed in ELI5-speak, and stubbornly convert them into incomprehensible language the likes of which you need a graduate degree in order to understand
“hey guys, so originally our plan was to use Deku as bait for the villains, but that didn’t really work and also we realized it was kinda dumb and was probably gonna get him killed, so we brought him back here instead.” was that really so hard, Jeanist. also are we all really just gonna sit back here and watch Jeanist take full credit for Bakugou’s plan just like that lmao
(ETA:
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WHERE DID ENDEAVOR GO AND WHO IS THIS DIABOLICAL MASTER OF DISGUISE. lol I genuinely didn’t notice this because I was too busy digging through thesauruses trying to rewrite Jeanist’s speech; many thanks to @class1akids​ for pointing it out and making my day immeasurably better. take it easy there Dick Tracy.)
“anyway so please stop being dicks and let him fucking rest so he can save all your ungrateful asses” what an impassioned and inspiring plea. time to see if the masses will listen to reason
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narrator: they did not listen to reason
oh my god finally Ochako is doing something. YEAH OCHAKO WOOOO SHOW THEM HOW IT’S DONE
hmm
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this entire chapter is truly and utterly nonsensical to me lol
(ETA: on my second readthrough I’m fucking dying at how she stole the megaphone right out of Mic’s hand lmao. and how Kacchan is all “fuck yeah nothing I appreciate more than some quality fucking larceny.”)
oh I see she was jumping on top of the main building so as to scream down at them all more impressively
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“ANYWAY DEKU IS PRETTY COOL ACTUALLY, YOU GUYS ARE JUST MEAN” couldn’t have said it better myself Ochako
lol uh
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gotta say I did not have “Ochako reveals the secret of OFA to the entire U.A. Citizen Clown Parade” on my bingo card for this week. it’s a bold strategy cotton let’s see if it pays off
SDLFKJSL
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“NO, SERIOUSLY, HAVE YOU LOOKED AT HIM YOU GUYS. YOU THINK HE LIKES RUNNING AROUND DRESSED LIKE A RUSTED OIL DRUM?? HE DID THAT FOR YOU YOU UNGRATEFUL SLOBS”
so she is basically explaining the entire Deku Angst arc to them and explaining what a good and selfless protagonist Deku is, YES, PREACH
OMG IT’S THE GIGANTIC FOX LADY
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not to insinuate anything, but what exactly were you doing standing out here with the hysterical mob, Gigantic Fox Lady? you’re better than that
-- KACCHAN SIGHTING!!
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sdlkfjl. thanks for weighing in with that helpful and important observation. where have you been for the last five minutes. were you asleep. was it Jeanist’s speech
never mind, now he’s yelling at the civilians so I instantly forgive him
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THE FUTURE NUMBER ONE HERO, EVERYONE. THANK YOU, THANK YOU. HE’LL BE HERE ALL WEEK
“anyway so I’m just going to end the chapter here” lmao seventeen pages truly do go by so fast. at least he didn’t try to force in a cliffhanger at the end this time. dare I say, growth
so I guess the civilians are either gonna have a Kamino and/or Fukuoka-esque moment where they remember how to be decent people and apologize to this poor young man, or else they’ll remain unpersuaded, and so Kacchan will have to knock a few of their heads around until they become more inclined to be reasonable. either option is fine by me lol
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hansols-yoda-boxers · 3 years ago
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Camp North Star - June 25th
AFAB!Reader x Jeon Wonwoo x Xu Minghao x Kwon Soonyoung x Choi Seungcheol
Word Count: 8979
Contents: drinking and being inebriated, swearing, your boss walks in, fivesome oral (giving and receiving), handjobs, face fucking, rimming, dom!Seungcheol, somewhat dom!Wonwoo and dom!Minghao, sub!reader, Soonyoung is a needy sub and also a bottom, fingering, nipple play, teasing, slight begging, protected sex, slight choking, drooling
Note: Mayhaps you voted for this hehe this was so much work oh my god it took so long oh my god i hope you appreiacte this filth if you dont so help me please enjoy this fivesomes are difficult skdhakshdas
“Never have I ever…” Minghao trailed off, swirling his beer in his hand as if it were a glass of wine. “Sucked anyone off.”
“Ahh that’s too general,” you laughed, taking a swig of your beer. Soonyoung quickly took a sip of his but not so quickly that you didn’t notice.
“I am learning so many things about you tonight, Kwon Soonyoung,” You said.
“There are so many things to learn,” He giggled.
“I already know too many,” Minghao deadpanned. The three of you laughed. The sound of footsteps came over the din of the crowd around the nearby campfire. You looked up to see Wonwoo wandering near and you beckoned him over to join you.
“Hey, what are you doing?” He asked quietly, taking a seat close to you.
“Never Have I Ever!” Soonyoung proclaimed boldly, making Wonwoo jump a little. You snickered, patting his arm.
“Soonyoung, it’s your turn.” You said.
“Hmmmmm,” He hummed into his beer bottle. “Never have I ever… had sex in a canoe.” He looked at you pointedly.
“Why do you think I have?!” You cried.
“Why wouldn’t you, it's fun if you don’t fall in.”
“Did-” Wonwoo started. “Did you- Which canoe did you have sex in?”
Soonyoung didn’t answer, merely sipping on his drink with an overly innocent look on his face.
“Soonyoung!” You cried. 
“I hoped you cleaned it,” Wonwoo mumbled.
“Wonwoo, you should go next,” Minghao said.
“Alright,” He settled back, resting on his hand, still eyeing Soonyoung suspiciously. “Never have I ever given a handjob in the woods.”
“Oh that’s just mean,” You muttered as you took a sip.
“When was that?” Minghao questioned.
“Who was it with?” Soonyoung asked.
“Some stories I keep to myself,” You said, shooting Wonwoo a glare. “Moving right along. Never have I ever had sex in the pool.”
Minghao quietly took a sip and before any of you could speak he raised a hand.
“I’m not telling you. Though I will say I’m not looking to repeat the experience any time soon. Some things are better left in the imagination.”
“I need more goss,” Soonyoung whined. “This game is for goss. Someone needs to add something risky.”
“You’re so impatient,” Minghao chuckled. “Alright, never have I ever had sex in someone’s office.”
“Does it count,” You asked, already knowing the answer was yes, “if it was with the owner of the office, not like sneaking into someone else’s office?”
“Yes, drink,” said Wonwoo.
“Now I’m curious,” Minghao eyed you.
“Really cuz that just gave me an idea,” Soonyoung said giddily.
“What? Office sex?” You laughed.
“Sneaking into someone’s office to have sex,” he grinned.
“That sounds like a dumb idea,” Minghao said.
“Now hold on,” You said. “Which office would you propose?”
“You’re not actually considering this, are you?” Wonwoo asked.
“I mean if you don’t wanna be invited you don’t have to come,” You grinned.
“I’m thinking a nice big office when I know for a fact that it’s owner is relaxing for once and not working.”
“You’re not about to break into the programming office,” Minghao said.
“Nice big desk, comfy chairs,” Soonyoung said.
“That would make for some nice goss, what a wonderful commodity.” You chimed.
“I mean, it might actually be the best place for it,” Wonwoo said.
You all looked at him.
“What does that mean?” you questioned, watching his face flush more and more red. 
“It- uh- if you go, I’ll show you what I mean.” He finally settled on.
“Can we?” Soonyoung chirped excitedly.
“Why the fuck not?” You said.
Soonyoung grabbed Minghao’s hand, even more giddy in his slightly tipsy state. “You have to come too.”
“Wh-Why do you want me?”
“I don’t know if Wonwoo’s going to stay and they don’t have a dick.” He said, jerking his head towards you. His bluntness made you laugh. You truly were learning a lot about Soonyoung tonight.
“I didn’t know you were a bottom but I don’t think I needed to know that,” Wonwoo mumbled.
“Minghao, please,” Soonyoung begged.
“I- I’ll join you for the walk over, but no promises,” He said. Soonyoung happily clung to him as you all got to your feet, heading for the programming office. Soonyoung skipped ahead with Minghao and you fell back beside Wonwoo.
“Why would Seungcheol’s office be such a good place for sex?” You asked.
“You’ll see, there’s something there you’ll find useful.”
“Are you going to stay?” There was a quiet moment between you as he seemed to think it over. It was much quieter here, away from the bonfire and the rest of the staff.
“I might. I’ve never done anything like this so…”
“Well if you do, I’m looking forward to it,” you smiled. Wonwoo gave a nervous chuckle, cheeks flushing pink.
“Thanks,” he mumbled almost shyly as you approached the office cabin.
“Is it going to be locked?” Minghao asked.
“We’ll just break in,” Soonyoung shrugged.
“Okay we won’t do that,” Wonwoo said. “He usually doesn’t need to lock it during the day so maybe? He might not have locked up yet. Let’s just try the door first and see what happens.”
Minghao and Soonyoung reached the door first. Minghao reached out his hand and turned the handle slowly. The door creaked in a bit and he carefully pushed it fully open. You all knew Seungcheol was down on the bonfire but there was still something a little scary and very thrilling about being here.
You had been in his office once or twice before but never for long. It was it’s own building near the other office buildings, a small cabin but more than enough space. The back wall was lined with bookshelves stuffed with books, safety manuals, and documents. A standing lamp was on along the back wall, bathing the room in a warm light. An old, comfy couch sat along the side of the room under the window and in the center was a large desk, much bigger than Hongseok’s. Seungcheol’s spinning chair sat on the far side and two chairs sat on the closer side for small meetings. Despite how busy he was his desk was relatively clean, only his laptop and a small stack of papers sat on it, everything else neatly tucked away.
You slipped your shoes off on the mat along with the others, wandering into the room.
“Is he coming back?” Minghao questioned, eyeing the light.
“He was drinking down on the beach,” Wonwoo mused. “He can’t be planning to work more after that, can he?”
“He wouldn’t,” you said. “Maybe he forgot to turn it off.”
“I’m unconvinced,” Minghao said.
“Come on,” Soonyoung whined. “We’re here. Let’s have fun anyway. He’s not here now and he can’t be planning to work soon, right? Besides, the thrill of it is that we might get caught.”
“Getting caught by the boss,” You said, running your fingers lightly up Wonwoo’s arm. “That’s kinda a hot idea, isn’t it?”
“I-I- I mean-” His cheeks flushed pink. “Kind of, yeah.”
“This has got to be against so many rules,” Minghao said.
“You knew that before coming over here,” you pointed out, wandering towards the desk with Wonwoo in tow. Soonyoung linked his fingers with Minghao’s slowly pulling him closer to the desk, grinning giddily when Minghao followed him.
“I’m sure there’s some rule about sleeping with your supervisor,” His tone was a little lighter, more joking.
“Does it change anything if you’re the one in charge?” Soonyoung purred, backing up against the edge of the desk and pushing the chair aside.
“I’m thinking about it,” Minghao hummed.
“Wonwoo,” You looked at him quickly. “Didn’t you say this was a great place for sex? Why?”
“O-Oh yeah,” he hurried around the desk, face still flushed. You watched as he pulled open drawers, looking for something. You couldn't quite tell if he was planning to stay yet. Was he excited? Or nervous? Or overwhelmed by the idea? Maybe all three? You weren’t sure if you were bad at reading him or if you were just a little too tipsy to easily figure it out.
“Here,” he said. “In here.”
You all wandered curiously around the desk and let out a collective gasp when you peered in the drawer.
Apparently, the condom stash was hidden in Seungcheol’s office all along. The drawer had quite a few boxes of different kinds of condoms. Not only that but a number of different types of lube sat in the drawer as well, even a few packs of dental dams and some gloves laid in the drawer.
“So this is where the condoms came from,” you mumbled.
“Why does he have all this stuff?” Minghao wondered.
“Who cares?!” Soonyoung said gleefully, grabbing lube and condoms. “This has everything we need!”
You met Wonwoo’s gaze. “You really weren’t kidding, huh?”
“It does have everything we need,” he said.
A grin tugged at your lips. “So you’re staying?”
He looked between the three of you. “Might as well have some fun, right?” He giggled, still sounding a little nervous.
Soonyoung grabbed onto Minghao’s hand, giving him starry eyes. “Will you stay too, please?”
Minghao’s lips twitched into a grin. “I have to admit, I kind of want to hear more of your begging.”
Soonyoung bounced on his toes as he pulled Minghao back around the desk, moving the stack of papers aside. You watched Wonwoo grab the laptop and move it aside while you pushed the chair out of the way. 
Soonyoung was quick to grab the front of Minghao’s shirt and pull him close to make out. Minghao seemed only caught off guard for a moment before he relaxed into the kisses, letting his eyes slide closed and pressing Soonyoung’s hips back against the edge of the desk.
You leaned back on the desk yourself before locking eyes with Wonwoo. He blushed and looked down, stepping a bit closer. His eyes flickered to your lips and then to your eyes and you felt heat rise into your cheeks. Quickly you swooped in, pressing kisses to his neck and feeling his hands on your hips as he let out a quiet sigh.
“No hickeys,” he mumbled.
“What if they’re where no one will see them?” You teased.
“Th-That would be okay,” he replied.
You heard ruffling beside you and peeked over to see Minghao pulling off Soonyoung’s shirt between Soonyoung’s kisses which already looked to be getting desperate. You let your own fingertips trail down over Wonwoo’s chest before playing with the hem of his shirt.
“Can I take this off?” You asked. Wonwoo gave you a quick nod and you helped him pull off his shirt before trailing your lips down his neck and along his collarbone. He let out a sigh as you sucked at his skin but it got lost in the low moan that Minghao let out next to you.
Soonyoung’s lips were on his neck and his hand had slipped between their bodies, already palming Minghao through his shorts.
You followed suit, listening to the shaky breath and feeling Wonwoo grab and squeeze your hips in response as you started touching him. He pressed his hips subtly into your hand, relaxing a little between the sucking of your lips on his skin and your hand slowly working him up.
Both Minghao and Wonwoo let out quiet, low moans as you and Soonyoung worked them up. You couldn’t speak for Soonyoung but every little sound they let out, and every squeeze of Wonwoo’s hands on your hips, sent a rush of arousal down your spine. Each second you were growing more and more turned on and excited.
“You’re eager to use that mouth, aren’t you?” You heard Minghao murmur. You looked over in time to see his hand on Soonyoung’s head, slowly pushing him down to his knees with a smirk. You locked eyes with Wonwoo and felt heat rush up into your face, the blush on Wonwoo’s cheeks told you he felt just as hot at the prospect of doing the same.
You left his chest with one more kiss before sinking to your knees, not making eye contact and instead focusing on undoing his belt slowly. Soonyoung seemed to be moving fast, already having freed Minghao’s cock from his shorts and trailing his lips along it. You took your time, only stopped when Wonwoo tugged at your shirt to pull it off.
You pulled his cock free, wrapping your hand around it and biting down on your lip. Had it seemed the same size when you were giving him a handjob, did it only seem bigger because it was right in front of your face? Or because you could take it further tonight? Or simply because you were horny?
“What the hell are you doing?!”
All four of you froze at the sound of Seungcheol’s voice.
Your eyes darted to look at Soonyoung. His face had flushed red and you could see the wheels turning in his head as he tried to come up with something. You yourself may have been buzzed but you certainly weren’t drunk enough for this. Still, was letting a horny, tipsy Soonyoung handle it the best idea?
“H-Hi Seungcheol,” why you were aiming for a lighthearted tone as you peeked around Wonwoo, his cock still in your hand, you didn’t know. Seungcheol looked less than impressed.
“Why, are you and Soonyoung, giving blowjobs, in my office?” He asked. His voice was far too even for your liking.
“It- uh…” You had nothing.
“It was a group effort,” Minghao sighed.
“That much is clear,” Seungcheol replied.
“We didn’t think you’d be back tonight,” Soonyoung said with a nervous giggle.
“You didn’t notice the light on?”
“It somehow slipped past us?” You offered.
Seungcheol looked between the four of you before he sighed. “There is nothing in the handbook for disciplinary action when 4 of your employees have sex in your office.”
“You’ll have to come up with something,” there was a grin in Soonyoung’s voice and when you looked at him there was mischief in his eyes.
“Yes,” you chimed in. “Be creative. An out of the box solution.”
He narrowed his eyes. “What are you two up to?”
“I just think you should find a… fun solution,” Soonyoung said.
“Yes, this must be stressful, find something to help you relax from that stress.” You added. Wonwoo nudged you hard with his knee, as if to tell you to shut up but it seemed Minghao was on your side. He looked back over his shoulder at Seungcheol.
“The campers show up in two days. And it’s nearly midnight. You’ve finally had a relaxing evening. Do you really want to ruin that?”
“So you think…” Seungcheol was processing your words.
“You should relax,” Minghao shrugged.
“Find something enjoyable,” Wonwoo added quietly, joining in your game.
“Do something fun and out of the box,” You chimed.
“Look,” said Soonyoung. “We’re already on our knees.”
You kept your inhale quiet. The four of you had been dancing around the suggestion but once it was put so blatantly there was no taking it back. You watched Seungcheol’s face as he thought, hand running through his hair as you tried to figure out if you were about to have a fivesome or about to get fired.
“Fuck it,” Seungcheol said, hands falling to his belt as he kicked off his shoes. “I could use this.”
A grin broke out on Soonyoung’s face and it was infectious, spreading to your own. You spared a glance upwards, catching Minghao’s relieved grin and the pink tinge of Wonwoo’s cheeks as you and Soonyoung slide closer to each other.
Seungcheol came closer until he was standing between Wonwoo and Minghao, pants slipping down his hips just enough to let his cock free. Your hand was still wrapped around Wonwoo’s cock and you started to pump him slowly, noticing him relax just a little. Soonyoung’s hand was moving much faster already on Minghao’s cock as his lips started to trail along Seungcheol’s cock.
You leaned in as well, pressing kisses along the other side of Seungcheol’s cock and hearing his quiet groan. Soonyoung’s hand was wrapped around the base, holding his cock between the two of you. Seungcheol’s cock started to grow harder between your lips as the two of you teased him. Your hand kept moving on Wonwoo’s cock, squeezing a little tighter. Your lips drew into a slight smile at the small moan he let out.
Soonyoung slipped underneath, sucking Seungcheol’s balls with his lips as you drew your tongue around the tip, drinking in the groan that fell from his lips. The small sounds all three of them were letting out curled down your spine, arousal settling between your legs and deep in the pit of your stomach.
You felt Seungcheol’s hand on the back of your head, urging you to take more of him into your mouth and you obliged. You started moving your mouth along his cock, taking a little more of him into your mouth each time, trying to keep a steady pace with your hand lest Wonwoo start to feel neglected.
“Just like that,” Seungcheol’s voice was low and a little breathy as he spoke, laced with the heat of arousal. His hips pressed forwards towards you and Soonyoung as you moved your mouths on him, Soonyoung’s movements growing greedier with each passing moment. You found a steady pace in sucking him off, your hand replacing Soonyoung’s at the base of his cock.
“Soonyoung,” Minghao purred, seeming more emboldened now that Seungcheol had spoken. “I want more of your attention.”
Soonyoung obediently shifted. He brought a hand up to play with Seungcheol’s balls as he took Minghao’s cock into his mouth. You looked to the side enough to see the sweet, wide-eyed expression he gave Minghao as he took his cock deep into his throat.
“That feels so good,” Minghao moaned, letting his head fall back. Soonyoung moaned around him and you couldn’t help yourself, moaning around Seungcheol’s cock before moving your mouth more quickly.
“Fuck,” He breathed. His fingers tightened in your hair, guiding you at the speed he wanted. You took him as deep as you could without choking, letting out more moans around his cock and feeling the arousal build even more in your core. Your gaze started to grow heavier but you still looked over to check on Wonwoo as you jerked him off.
He was more relaxed than he had been but still much quieter than you knew him to be. Was he nervous about it? You wanted him to relax fully and enjoy himself and you searched your brain for the things you had done last weekend, trying to remember just what he liked.
You moved your hand a little faster, adding more of a twist to your movement and earned a small moan from his lips, catching sight of his eyes falling closed. He leaned one hand on the back of the chair that you’d pushed to the side to brace himself.
The sound of gagging beside you drew your attention to Soonyoung as he deepthroated Minghao’s cock. You were equal parts jealous and impressed. How did he get so good at that? Maybe you needed to ask him for pointers.
The moans that fell from Minghao’s lips pulled you out of your thoughts very quickly. The sound sent arousal rushing through you and welling in your core. You pressed your thighs together, subtly shifting your hips and moving your hands and mouth a little faster. You let your gaze shift up to look at Seungcheol and it only made your arousal worse.
He was gazing down at you with a heavily lidded, heated expression. His bottom lip was caught between his teeth and as you locked eyes with him he held your head still before thrusting into your mouth. You held it open for him, keeping your eyes on him and moving your hand a little faster on Wonwoo’s cock, thumb teasing his tip here and there, as Seungcheol fucked into your mouth.
Moans were falling from all three of them now, though Wonwoo was still quieter than you knew he could be. Beside you Minghao pulled Soonyoung back off his cock, a string of spit connecting his lips to Minghao’s cock. Minghao’s thighs were trembling slightly as he caught his breath, clearly not wanting to cum too soon.
Soonyoung shifted towards you and you pulled back. Seungcheol’s hand fell away from your head as Soonyoung brought his lips to Seungcheol’s cock. You turned all of your attention to Wonwoo, gazing up at him and meeting his eyes as you took him into your mouth slowly.
Wonwoo let out a shaky breath that was quickly covered by Minghao’s shaky moan as Soonyoung wrapped a hand around his sensitive cock. The sounds rushed through you, making you wetter by the second. Still, you kept your eyes on Wonwoo’s face as you took his cock into your mouth and found a quick pace.
As you brought your other hand to his cock, wrapping them both around, you took in the look of pleasure that overcame his features. His brow furrowed and mouth hung open, moans getting louder as they poured from his lips. A rosy hue was spread across his cheeks, his hair falling in front of his eyes that were scrunched shut.
Seungcheol’s groans had grown louder, as had Soonyoung’s gagging as he took all of Seungcheol’s cock into his mouth. Seungcheol kept a hand in his hair but let him set the movements, his own head falling back as groans and curses came from him.
On his other side Minghao braced himself against a chair, panting and moaning as Soonyoung kept his hand moving on his cock. His fingers curled into the back of the chair and his hips pressed forwards into Soonyoung’s hand, thighs still trembling.
You let out moans around Wonwoo’s cock as you moved faster, getting more desperate. The need in your core was getting unbearable and had you shifting and rocking your hips in search of the sensations you desperately craved. Judging from the few moans Soonyoung got out and how tight his shorts were he wasn’t fairing much better.
You felt Wonwoo’s hand on your head, suddenly pushing you back as he panted. You looked up at him in surprise which melted into smugness when you took in the dazed look on his face, stopping you before he could cum in your mouth.
Next to you Seungcheol dug his hand into Soonyoung’s hair before pulling him back.
“Aren’t you two getting needy?” He asked, his voice rough.
“Yes,” you breathed.
“Did we do a good job?” Soonyoung asked. “I need someone to touch me.”
Seungcheol reached his other hand out, grabbing your chin and holding you so you were both looking at him. You felt your face burning and yet more arousal curling in your coil from the heat of his expression.
“You’ve done well so far,” he said. “Stand up.”
You did as he told you immediately, scrambling to your feet. Very quickly hands were all over you as they pulled off yours and Soonyoung’s clothes. The three of them shifted around. Minghao urged you to sit up on the desk while Seungcheol turned Soonyoung around and bent him over the desk. Wonwoo made his way around to where Soonyoung’s head was and Soonyoung was eager to wrap his lips around Wonwoo’s cock.
Minghao leaned in, giving you a kiss as his hands trailed over your body. You felt the goosebumps in their wake as he trailed fingers over your sensitive skin. He leaned closer, reaching his hands around behind you to undo your bra and you let him pull it off. His hands moved over your chest, drawing a sigh from your lips before they found their way to the hem of your panties.
“Lay back for me,” he murmured against your lips.
You did as he said, letting your head fall to the side to look at Soonyoung. He had a sweet, hazy look in his eyes as Wonwoo slowly thrust into his mouth, letting out quiet moans as he did so. All of Soonyoung’s sounds were muffled but you could still hear his moaning as Seungcheol drew his tongue over his entrance, teasing him. Drool pooled at the edge of Soonyoung’s mouth, his hands splayed out over the desk, already wrapped up in bliss.
A gasp left your lips as Minghao drew his tongue over your sensitive clit. You reached out, grabbing at the edge of the desk and your other hand finding Soonyoung’s wrist. You squeezed at him, not paying much attention to the curious look he gave you as you started to moan, back arching off the desk as Minghao fell into a quick rhythm with his tongue.
“Fuck, that feels good,” you moaned quietly, the sound getting a little lost between the sounds rising up all around you. Wonwoo’s moans, though still quiet, were rushing through your body. Soonyoung’s whiny moans and gags as Wonwoo pushed his cock down Soonyoung’s throat were dizzying.
You felt the curl of the coil, the pleasure that was building inside you, spurred on by the lewd sounds of Minghao eating you out and Seungcheol eating Soonyoung’s ass. Seungcheol let out low groans, hands gripping at Soonyoung’s ass and thighs as his tongue moved quickly. Minghao let smooth moans vibrate through your core, hands holding your thighs open and keeping your hips from bucking into his mouth or grinding too much against his face.
You shifted your gaze up and felt your cunt clenching around nothing as you took in Wonwoo’s face. His brow was furrowed, hips thrusting forwards into Soonyoung’s mouth. Red coloured his cheeks and burned the tips of his ears and his mouth hung open in quiet moans. His eyes were screwed shut and the sight made your head spin.
“F-Fuck,” the curse fell from your lips as Minghao dipped his tongue into your core, curling it into a sensitive spot and sending a tremor through your body. You heard him chuckle at your reaction but you couldn’t quite bring yourself to care, instead pressing your hips closer to him as his tongue ran back up over your clit again.
You squeezed at Soonyoung’s arm, watching his nails slowly scratch at the desk as he pressed his hips back towards Seungcheol. His gaze was heavily lidded, though his eyes opened a little wider as Wonwoo grabbed his hair and jerked his head up roughly, an action that sent even more heat rushing through you. 
He didn’t need to say anything, Soonyoung simply looked up at him, keeping the eye contact as he let Wonwoo fuck his mouth, drooling and moaning. Wonwoo seemed to be relaxing and growing into his confidence tonight.
And you couldn’t deny it looked so good on him.
“Wonwoo,” Seungcheol’s voice called your and Wonwoo’s attention, though Minghao kept his tongue moving through your core. “Why don’t you come back here and help him out? Since he’s been so good to you.”
“Of course,” there was much more surety and calmness to Wonwoo’s voice than there had been when you began.
A moment later you whined as you felt the loss of Minghao’s presence. You propped yourself up on your elbows with a pout as he moved away from your core, but much happier when Seungcheol took his place, smirking at you from where he kneeled on the floor.
You had enough time to catch sight of Wonwoo pouring lube onto his fingers before the feeling of two fingers pushing into your cunt pulled a gasp from your lips. Your eyes locked with Seungcheol’s as you panted and he started to move his fingers.
“You’re already so wet,” he purred.
“You’re welcome,” Minghao chuckled quietly, moving around the side of the desk and kneeling again. You felt his lips start to press kisses along your side.
“I think you could take our cocks right now,” Seungcheol murmured.
They’re teasing was interrupted by the loud, desperate moan that left Soonyoung’s lips, now unhindered, as Wonwoo slipped a long finger inside him.
“Fuck, please,” Soonyoung groaned, dropping his face against the desk as he pressed his hips back, trying to fuck himself on Wonwoo’s fingers. Wonwoo and Seungcheol both chuckled at his neediness and you were distracted by the sensation of Minghao’s plush lips wrapping around one of your nipples.
“You really are needy, aren’t you Soonyoung?” Wonwoo teased.
“Please,” he drooled. “Please fuck me.”
“Don’t rush it,” Seungcheol grinned, as teasing as he was serious. “You need to be properly ready for it.”
Soonyoung’s only response was a groan, resting his cheek against the wood of the desk, facing you. Your own head fell back as Seungcheol started moving his fingers more roughly. He held a hand on your hip to keep it down and you let your eyes fall shut as you took in the sensations.
Soonyoung’s moans rivaled yours, both of you growing louder and louder with little care if anyone would hear you. Soonyoung gripped onto your wrist, trying to find purchase of his own. If his moans were any indication he was getting closer by the second.
You lost yourself more and more in the feeling and sounds. In the sucking of Minghao’s lips and the slow circling of his tongue around your nipple, fingers trailing gently over the skin of your hip and up your side. Seungcheol’s fingers deep in your core, thrusting and curling quickly. The lewd sounds of fingers moving in wetness and your moans filling the hot air.
Pleasure was building inside you quickly, Panting and moaning you felt yourself getting closer to your edge, clenching around Seungcheol’s fingers. Your hips ground as much as he would allow, chasing every little bit of sensation while the focus of cumming took over your mind.
Soonyoung let out a broken moan next to you and you peeked down to see Wonwoo pushing a second finger into his entrance slowly. A tremor ran through his body and his hand squeezed your wrist as he rocked his hips back as much as Wonwoo would allow. 
The sight of him only added to your own arousal, making you clench around Seungcheol’s fingers even more. Soonyoung’s eyes were squeezed shut and his mouth hung open, drool and moans pouring from his lips. His skin shone with a sheen of sweat and his hair fell across his face prettily, moving with each roll of his hips.
“Oh, fuck,” your own eyes squeezed shut as Seungcheol eased a third finger into your core. You took it easily, knowing how wet you were, and feeling the craving for more.
“You’re getting needier too, aren’t you?” Seungcheol chuckled.
You felt Minghao’s lips pull away from your chest, moving up to murmur in your ear. “Is that greedy little cunt of yours ready for some cock?”
Your back arched off the desk and you moaned out loudly as Seungcheol started to draw his tongue over your clit quickly. The only answers you could manage were incoherent whines and moans as the coil in your core curled impossibly tight.
“We’re so far from done with you, yet,” Minghao purred. “You better be ready for more.”
“F-Fuck,” the word came out breathy and high on your voice as Seungcheol’s fingers started pounding into you. Minghao brought his fingers to your chest, playing with your nipples and you only barely registered the way Soonyoung groaned loudly again, no doubt also taking another finger.
Quiet, breathy pleas started to pour from your lips. Seungcheol held your hips down, sucking on your clit roughly and fingering you fast. Minghao’s lips nipped at your ear, hot breath fanning out across your skin.
“I’m so looking forward to sinking my cock into you and fucking you dumb,” Minghao murmured.
You cried out as you came hard, clenching around Seungcheol’s fingers. Your back arched off the desk and your whole body shook. Pleasure washed through every inch of you, stealing your breath. Your hips only stuttered when the sensitivity started to set in. Your hands started to weakly push Seungcheol away from your core as you shook.
Minghao helped you up to sitting, letting you rest your head against his chest as he let his fingers run over your shoulders. Somewhere in your needy haze you’d missed the part where they all rid themselves of their clothes but you weren’t complaining at the sight.
Soonyoung choked out a high moan, body shaking as he came, riding out his high on Wonwoo’s fingers until his hips dropped, knees going weak from the force of his release.
Seungcheol had moved around the desk and was now running his fingers through Soonyoung’s hair. “I hope you’re not done after just a few fingers, Soonyoung,” He teased. Minghao and Wonwoo chuckled and Soonyoung tried and failed to open his eyes, incoherent sounds mumbling out through his lips. 
You slowly caught your breath, thankful for the moment to do so, while Minghao ran his fingers gently over your body. Wonwoo gently smoothed his hands over Soonyoung’s ass and Seungcheol played with his hair, all three of them pumping their own cocks slowly until Soonyoung pushed himself up to stand shakily.
Seungcheol smiled. “Are you two ready for more?” There wasn’t any teasing in his tone this time, only sincerity. You and Soonyoung both nodded, a little tired but eager.
Minghao helped you off the desk and you let him lead you to the chair. He urged you gently to kneel on the chair. You brought your hands to rest on the back of the chair, and then your cheek. Your heart was beating quickly with anticipation as you heard the sounds of condom wrappers ripping open and lube being poured out. You squeezed the back of the chair and wiggled your hips absentmindedly before hearing a chuckle.
You gazed up from your spot to find Seungcheol gazing down at you where you kneeled. His fingers came to your chin gently and tilted your head to look at him properly.
“Are you impatient?” He asked gently.
“Maybe,” you hummed. “Maybe I want a little more.”
“How much more?”
“Maybe I-I-” you stumbled over your words as you felt Minghao’s hands grip your hips and his cock ground against you, moving through your folds and teasing your sensitive clit.
“You lose your words so quickly,” Seungcheol hummed. “He hasn’t even started and you can’t compose yourself.”
You felt heat rush to your face as you tried to find the words you wanted. But they seemed too jumbled on your tongue. The sound of Soonyoung’s moan as Wonwoo eased his cock into his ass drew your attention for a moment before Minghao slowly pushed into you.
A gasp fell from your lips. Your eyes nearly closed as you sunk your hips back towards him but Seungcheol grabbed your jaw firmly and your eyes snapped open instead. You focused your gaze on him as moans started to escape your lips again. Minghao slowly thrust into you, letting out a breathy moan of his own.
“Does it feel good to finally be full?” Seungcheol murmured.
“Mhm,” your whine was high in your voice and you gave your head a little nod. Seungcheol regarded you with a heated smirk, leaning in closer. Your own gaze slipped to his lips as your mouth hung slightly.
“Are you so greedy you want kisses too?” He teased.
“Please,” Did you have a sense of shame left? Decidedly not as you leaned even more forwards, braced on the back of the chair.
Seungcheol chuckled at you but still, he closed the distance between you. His hand stayed on your jaw as he kissed you, pushing his tongue into your mouth which you let inside easily. Your moans came out muffled by his lips, though they were only getting louder.
Minghao kept one hand on your hip, the other slipped up to your chest. You keened forwards into his touch as he started to roll and tug on your nipple roughly. He thrust his hips in a steady pace, each one even and deep and sending a rush of pleasure to your dripping core.
You only got wetter as you took in the sounds of the room. The sounds of your own kisses and muffled, messy moans mixed with the low, breathy groans of Minghao behind you as he fucked you slowly. His sounds hitting your ears and making you clench around him.
Soonyoung and Wonwoo were both growing louder as well. Soonyoung held onto the edge of the desk, chest flush against the hard wood, now hot under his own burning skin. His moans were messy and broken, coming out as gasps and cries with each one of Wonwoo’s thrusts. His hips pressed back for more all the while.
Wonwoo’s sweet moans were finally sounding how you knew they could. The sound made you dizzy, loud and full and punctuated with curses. Complemented the lewd, wet sounds of cocks filling your holes, moving through your wetness, pounding into Soonyoung’s ass. The air in the room only felt hotter and hotter as the moments ticked by.
“F-Fuck,” another curse fell from your lips between kisses as Minghao started fucking into you a little faster. Each movement sent a wave of pleasure through your body and deep in your core the coil was starting to curl in on itself again. Mixed with the sparks of sensation as he played with your nipple roughly.
Seungcheol pulled back, letting you breathe and gasp for air. His own voice came out rough and breathy as he jerked himself off to the sight of you getting fucked.
“You look good like this,” he purred.
“S-So good,” you managed. You heard Minghao’s breathy chuckle from behind you.
“Tell him properly, then,” Seungcheol said.
“It f-feels good,” you moaned, bringing your hips back to Minghao’s and trying to urge him to go faster.
A gasp left your lips as Seungcheol wrapped a hand around your throat, pressing you back against Minghao’s chest and squeezing just a little. A smug smirk hung on his face as he took in your reaction.
“You can do better than that,” he purred.
“Tell me how you feel,” Minghao murmured.
“It f-feels so good,” You stumbled out. “It’s s-so f-f-fucking good. F-Fuck you’re s-so deep. Please. Fuck. P-Please don’t s-stop. I- hnnnn f-f- I n-need this s-s-so bad.”
Minghao’s hips snapped into you harder, making you cry out pitifully. You felt the tremble in your legs, the coil tight in your core and the burning need for touch on your clit, to bring you to your release again. Minghao seemed to be chasing his own high, both hands now on your hips and holding you firmly as he fucked into you and you let your eyes roll back in pleasure.
A bang and a cry of pain called the attention of the three of you, your own eyes snapping open, even if your vision was a little hazy. 
Soonyoung was shaking, gripping onto the table as Wonwoo tried to help him up. His legs had given out and his knees had slammed against the side of the desk.
Seungcheol rushed over quickly to help him up and to sit on the desk. And you only let out a slight whine as Minghao pulled out of you before heading over to check on Soonyoung as well. Soonyoung was no worse for wear, as Seungcheol and Minghao crowded around him he gave them a pout.
“I feel too empty now,” he whined.
“That can be fixed,” You heard Seungcheol say to him as he pushed him gently back to the desk.
You shifted off the chair as Wonwoo came closer, pulled off his condom before rolling on a new one. He came close in front of you, hands landing on your hips.
“Do you need a little something more too?” He asked.
“I could use some more,” you grinned, pulling him to the couch. “I was so close.”
“So was I,” he murmured, sitting sideways on the couch. You climbed over him, straddling his hips and giving him a smile as you lined yourself up with his cock before slowly sinking down onto it.
“Oh fuck,” you breathed. He had to be bigger than you initially thought. His cock had you feeling so wonderfully full. You braced yourself on his shoulders, resting your forehead against his. “You feel so fucking good,” you breathed quietly.
“So do you,” he replied.
Even as Soonyoung started to moan from the desk as Seungcheol thrust into him slow and deep, you stayed still for the moment, enjoying the feeling of your cunt wrapped around Wonwoo’s cock. You let your breath even out, Wonwoo’s hands held your hips and he didn’t urge you to move. You both soaked in the moment, feeling a little as if you were in your own world.
Slowly, with your forehead still resting against Wonwoo’s, you started to grind your hips down. A quiet gasp fell off your lips and Wonwoo chased it with his own, low moan and a squeeze of your hips. The delicious feeling as you slowly moved your hips curled through your core, working you up again.
Wonwoo pressed the tip of his nose against yours as you let your hips move the way they wanted, trying to find the movements that felt the best. You listened to all of Wonwoo’s quiet sounds, now so close to you, some part of your mind wanting to find what he liked best as well.
“Now I’m kind of wondering why we didn’t do this sooner,” he murmured breathily.
“You were the one who wanted nothing to do with my seduction,” you chuckled.
“I’ve seen the light,” he giggled. “I’ve changed my mind. This is good.”
Your words were interrupted by a particularly loud moan from Soonyoung, one that both drew your attention and made you clench around Wonwoo, drawing out a moan of his own. You bit down on your lip as you looked over at Soonyoung. Seungcheol had him on his back on the desk, holding his legs, thighs hugged to his chest. Seungcheol was fucking into him, starting to let ouy moans of his own and Minghao was next to them, kissing Soonyoung’s neck with a hand wrapped around his cock, pumping it quickly.
Just watching the sight had yet another rush of arousal rushing through you and you started riding Wonwoo a little faster, grinding down on his cock more quickly and letting small moans fall from your lips as you met his gaze again.
Wonwoo had pulled his head back a little, he shook his hair back slightly and his gaze was heavily lidded as he regarded you. He was drinking you in as you rode him. You felt heat rushing through your body and to the surface of your skin at the expression he held, the look on his face as his eyes trailed down your chest to where you were taking his cock. Something in his gaze could have made you feel shy if you weren’t already so far gone.
Your eyes trailed to his lips, idly thinking about his last kiss while you started to move your hips a little differently, swirling your hips as you searched for just the right movement and feeling. Your own high was coming back into your brain as the coil inside you curled a little more tightly.
As you swirled your hips you felt Wonwoo’s nails dig into your sides as his head fell back.
“Do that again,” he breathed.
A small smirk tugged at your lips as you obliged, repeating the movement a little faster and trying to fall into a rhythm with it.
Wonwoo's mouth fell open in a series of moans that were growing louder and louder. You felt yourself clench hard around him as you took in the sight. His mouth hung open in a pretty round “o.” His hair fell just a little into his face, some of it stuck in the sheen of sweat over his skin. His eyes were screwed shut, brows furrowed and face twisting with pleasure. His chest heaved with heavy breaths and shuddered as he started to get closer to his own release.
You let your eyes trail down, taking in his toned chest that you were just now paying attention to. You kept one hand on his shoulder, the other trailed down, scratching lightly over the skin of his chest.
Wonwoo keened into your touch with a moan, trembling just a bit from how close he was. Your own edge was getting closer and closer, the coil curled tight again and you started to move faster, chasing after your own high as well.
Your own eyes fell shut and you took in the sensations of Wonwoo’s cock moving in you. Each of the sounds filling the room, Wonwoo’s lovely, loud moans, Soonyoung’s broken desperate cries, and Seungcheol’s low, rough groans, mixed in with yours and nearly made you dizzy, all of it making you more desperate.
You adjusted your legs before lifting yourself up and starting to fuck yourself on Wonwoo’s cock.
“Shit, don’t stop,” he moaned. “Please don’t stop.” His nails dug into your hips, urging you to keep up the quick pace.
“D-Don’t worry about that,” you managed to chuckle through panting and moans. You were too close again to want to stop. You felt yourself clenching around Wonwoo. Lewd sounds filled the space between you as you sunk down on his cock with your dripping cunt over and over. Wonwoo was breathing fast between his moans, his hips messily rocking and bucking up to meet you, making both of you moan and cry out.
Soonyoung let out a particularly needy, beautiful moan that had you clenching, nearly releasing around Wonwoo. 
You heard him cursed quietly under his breath as he wrapped his arms around your waist. He pulled you against his chest and leaned back before bracing his legs and fucking up into you hard.
You let your head fall into his neck as you cried out at the feeling. Your own eyes screwed shut and you dug your nails into his back as you held onto him. His own moans came out unabashed and more desperate as he hips worked, chasing after his high roughly and fucking you dizzy.
Wonwoo let out a choked moan, squeezing you as he came into the condom. He stayed buried deep in you while his hips crashed back to the couch, his body shaking.
You pulled back enough to rest your forehead against his again as he leaned into you. Wonwoo started to catch his breath until you leaned up and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead.
Wonwoo sat up quickly, looking flustered and you felt heat rust to your face as embarrassment flooded your system, starting to stutter something out before you heard Soonyoung’s cry as he came, cum landing on his lower stomach and legs shaking as he gazed up at Seungcheol and Minghao, the former of which slowly pulled out of him.
You were quick to climb off of Wonwoo’s cock, wobbling your way over to the desk.
“Did you cum yet?” You asked Seungcheol, taking your mind off the awkward moment.
Seungcheol smirked at you. “Not yet. Why don’t you lay back on the desk?”
You did as he said, sparing a glance at Wonwoo who was now resting and catching his breath on the couch. Minghao was sitting into a chair and Soonyoung, who had gotten up, was moving towards him before straddling his lap.
Your attention came back to Seungcheol as he finished putting on a fresh condom and threw your legs up over his shoulders. You bit your lip, grinning up at him and wiggled your hips, eager to cum again and still so close and sensitive. He brought one hand to your hip and the other guided his cock into your heat.
The moan from your lips matched the groan that left his. A slow burn of pleasure ran through you as you stretched out around his cock. He brought his other hand to your hip before leaning down over you a little more, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips and heat in his gaze as he pulled his hips back before rolling into you, nice and deep.
You let out gasps at the feeling, eyelids already heavy and body so sensitive and needy from both Minghao and Wonwoo. You let your thoughts and feelings slip away from you, instead focusing every bit of your energy on the sensation of Seungcheol’s cock thrusting into you, giving you more pleasure with each roll of his hips.
“Don’t close those pretty eyes,” he murmured, bearing down over you. You felt one hand travel up from your hip until he fingers rested against your neck. You forced your eyes open, meeting his gaze properly and giving him moans in response.
“Good job,” he purred.
You gave him a lopsided smile, eyes drinking in his intense gaze and it only added to the fire inside of you. His low groans, Soonyoung and Minghao’s pretty moans from the chair. And Wonwoo’s breath, still slowing after his release. 
Seungcheol wrapped a hand around your throat gently and you whined pitifully for him. But it turned into a loud, broken moan as he pulled his hips back and slammed into you roughly, sending a shock of pleasure through you.
“Do you like that?” He teased, though clearly breathy and getting close himself.
“Fuck y-yes,” you stuttered. “P-Please~”
“You don’t even have to ask,” he grinned before pulling back and doing it again.
His thrusts came harder and soon faster as well. From the slow roll of his hips he was now properly fucking you. You reached out for anything, your hands finding the arm leading to the hand around your throat and you grabbed onto it, trying to keep your eyes locked on his.
Every one of your senses was alight. The sounds and smells around you were utterly dizzying and nearly overwhelming. You felt your thighs trembling as you gazed up at Seungcheol, unable to form anything other than a string of moans as the oh so close coil in your core curled tightly, so close to coming undone.
You tried to reach one of your own hands down between your legs but Seungcheol was faster. He pulled his hand from your neck and pressed his palm against your lower stomach before his thumb started to rub over your clit quickly and roughly.
“F-F-F” you couldn’t even manage one word at the sensation. Your legs started to squeeze together but it only made the feeling more intense. Your nails scratched against the desk and your back arched off the wood, now hot from the skin of your back. Seungcheol chased his high with quick, rough thrusts, rubbing your clit as fast as he could.
Finally your hips bucked up, only kept close enough for him to keep fucking you from his strength as you came hard on his cock. Your eyes rolled back and fingers tried to dug uselessly into the hard wood as spots dotted your vision and a tidal wave of pleasure washed over you. The cry that came from your lips was louder than anything else in the small cabin, nearly a scream as he fucked you through your orgasm.
Even as you came down he didn’t stop. His hand came back to your hip, spurred on by the feeling of your release and you let out broken moans, only barely noticing Minghao doing the same as he came. Whimpers left your lips at the feeling, almost overwhelming you but also feeling so good in your post orgasm haze.
You let out a series of messy moans, feeling drool slipping from the corner of your mouth and eyes unable to open as his hips slammed into you roughly. You were slightly more aware of Soonyoung’s muffled cry into Minghao’s neck as he came for a third time. But your attention came quickly back to Seungcheol as he let out a low growl that even in your state had you clenching around him.
Seungcheol’s hips stuttered to a stop inside you as he spilled his release into the condom. His chest heaved as he panted and there was a slight tremor in his legs as a series of groans fell off his lips until he quieted.
Seungcheol pulled out of you carefully before dropping back into the other chair, catching his breath. Wonwoo stepped next to the desk and gently helped you up to sitting. His hand landed on your back, rubbing it in what you were sure was an absentminded gesture. You leaned against him for support, noticing he had found his boxers and thrown them back on. You gazed around to Soonyoung who was resting against Minghao’s chest, still shaking slightly.
“So,” his voice was clearly tired and yet still mischievous. “When is round 2?”
“Never,” said Seungcheol, even though still breathless he gave Soonyoung a pointed look. “And if any of you tell anyone I’ll fire you.”
“Why are you looking at me?” He whined.
“You’re the gossip,” Minghao chuckled.
“You’re the only one who would blab.” you added.
“You too,” Seungcheol said to you.
“Hey, I’ve kept some secrets. You guys don’t know everything.”
Seungcheol fully relaxed back into his chair. “Good. Soonyoung, since I’m sure this was your idea you get to clean my office tomorrow.”
“I- yeah okay,” he mumbled.
“And if any of you break into my office again and start having sex I will be firing you. Understood?”
A chorus of “yeps” and “yes sirs” rang out around the room.
379 notes · View notes
oftenderweapons · 4 years ago
Text
Love talk - Yoongi
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Pairing: Yoongi x reader (nicknamed Kitten)
Wordcount: 10k words
Genre: fluff, smut
Rating: 18+
Hello bunnies! I know you’ve been streaming Dynamite (I’m doing so as I revise and edit). I decided to postpone publishing the piece, so that we can focus on streaming and then as soon as the 24h are over and you’re well-rested you’re hopefully all ready for this 😏
Basically, I’ll do a quick recap of Yoongi and Kitten’s sliver of backstory. They’ve been dating for a couple months on again off again (he’s quite busy with schedule) and have been on several dates, however the situation escalates when the two start playing a steamy late-night after-date 20 questions game.
TRIGGER WARNINGS: Consumption of alcohol. Swearing. This is smutty, especially in the end. This is intended for an adult public. Some of the themes are only discussed by the characters. Strong language, alcohol consumption, masturbation both male and female receiving, same for oral (feat. face riding). Mild voyeurism/exhibitionism, quite detailed description of sexual positions and fantasies, discussion on STDs, mentions of previous relationships and past traumas (abusive boyfriend and one very sorry fuck). Choking, breast worship, mentions of restrictions, sensation play and switch Yoongi. This should be all. Also, watch Kitten thirst for Yoongi’s hands (and tongue. and lips. and all the rest of Yoongi) for 10k words. (On a second note, watch Yoongi drool -- only metaphorically, much to his dismay -- over Kitten’s tits).
Yeah, it’s date 10 and these two haven’t kissed yet, I somehow think that Yoongi is the kind of guy who would wait till he’s dying and then just pounce. Also these two just want to jump each other’s bones and I can’t wait for you to see them in Illicit Affairs (definitely my 2nd favourite couple -- ‘cause Joon will be A Lot™)
Wordcount is around 10k.
Since I need to start planning next scenarios, I need you to help me choose the theme, you can vote at the link in my bio!
Here is my masterlist, enjoy 💜
“God, what’s with the weather tonight?”
“Man, this is a nightmare, get in quick.” The arm around your shoulder loosened a little as he let you move quickly from under his umbrella to the passenger seat of his car. As you got comfortable and tried to fix your hair and makeup a little, he walked around the car, opening the driver’s door, sliding in quickly and, with a sleight of hand, shaking the umbrella, closing it and smashing the door shut as fast as possible.
“Damn it.” He moved the soaked object at the foot of the backseat, stretching in the process with a groan.
You set with your hands pressed together, shoved innocently between your thighs.
This was your tenth date with Yoongi and you were smitten over him. Also, horny, but that’s for another moment. You’d been dating without commitment for about two months, the timing absolutely awful – he was in the middle of promotion with the group – but he had been too hung up on you to wait. He had wanted to do things properly, but after two weeks of stalking your profiles on social networks and making a fool of himself anytime you accidentally met, he decided he needed to act, and quickly so.
You went for a coffee once, then he brought you lunch, then you started with your sneaky dates at the cinema, walks at Han river late at night and dark and discreet bars dominating the rooftops of Seoul.
But the cinema was your most recurrent. You were just back from one of your dates at your go-to theatre, at two a.m, the late night show allowing him enough privacy to sneak around and protect you from any prying eyes.
He started the car and asked if you needed the AC on. “You have goosebumps on your arms.” He commented.
He is attentive. And caring. Which really makes you want to jump him. But again, digressing.
“No, thank you, Yoongi.” You replied kindly.
“Okay.” Moving out of the parking lot he started driving to your house, stopping at a couple traffic lights, looking at you as he waited. You looked back at him, smiling affectionately. He took your hand, holding it and warming it up in between his.
“Who would believe it’s September, it feels at least November out there.” You commented, feeling extremely dumb in discussing the weather, but too afraid of letting your mind delve in more mature or appropriate topics.  
“Sure you’re okay?” He asked, as he placed your hand back, the lights turning green.
“Yeah.” You risked evaporation, looking at his focused expression as he drove. Could you believe he hadn’t kissed you yet? No. Could you imagine why he hadn’t done that yet? Hell, no. You had squeezed your brains trying to imagine why he hadn’t kissed you while at the same time keeping on asking you out, date after date.
The night lights reflected beautifully on his delicate features, on his cute nose and his round and soft cheekbones, on his pouty, blatantly soft, deliriously pink, wildly wanted lips, on his flashy silver watch, on his sparkly, delicate necklace, on his small and sober earrings. You wanted him. Your heart skipped a beat at the way your body and mind aligned in that statement. The pressure you felt within you was a living, beating, ravenous thing, enlarging its size like a bird puffing its feathers.
His hands on the wheel were extraordinarily pale and sturdy, skeletrical but also undoubtedly strong. You wanted them on you, grabbing and groping your flesh. And the way he seemed to chew on his lower lip, opening and closing his mouth in that gesture which is so his, as if he were tasting wine or coffee.
You didn’t even realise you had arrived at your place, since you were so caught in staring at him. “A picture will last longer, Kitten.” He teased.
You blushed, turning quickly to look out your window.
“Oh, you’re shy now...” He smirked. “Go figure, I had a proposition for you.” He commented, almost with disinterest, his mouth speaking through a fake pout, the corners of it turned downward.
“I’m curious.” You said, turning to him.
“I don’t wanna let go of you yet.” He admitted, catching your hand again. “I’ll be away for ten days. With the guys. We’re leaving tomorrow evening.” He explained. “Tonight is my last available moment with you and I know it’s two in the morning and all the rest, but I want to spend more time with you.”
You raised your eyebrows, surprised. “Do you mean…?” You hoped he had somehow sensed your longing. He seemed to have a direct line to your brain, reading you in a way that scared you too often.
He grinned. “I mean, whatever comes from this. Just talking. Just watching you as we talk. It’s not the same over the phone.” He said with a frown.
You nodded. “Do you wanna talk here? Would you like to come upstairs?” You asked, trying to feel the mood.
He bit his lip and laced his fingers together, placing them between his knees and hunching his back. “You see, I kinda wanted to take this to my place. But I promise you I won’t make a move. It’s really just talking.”
Please, do make a move. You silently begged – although you were too shy to actually speak.
“Yeah, nice. Okay.” You replied with a happy smile.
“It’s okay if you want to stay here. Or go upstairs. It’s just that I really wanted to see you at home.”
The tenderness of his domesticity killed that hunger rumbling in your insides and made your head float up high, with cute pink clouds and angels singing and stars glimmering.
This is a crush.
“Show me your crib, kitty cat.” You joked. He laughed adorably at that. He looked radiant.
As he started driving to his place you got back to your thirsting over him, this time openly oogling at his confident charm, at the way he looked so used to all of this. The way he lead you out of the car in the underground parking lot of the residence, the way he locked the car and punched in his passcode to the apartment.
“Here’s the crib, kitty cat.” He taunted right back.
The place looked immaculate. Spot on. Tidy. Neat. A bit cold but his. And it smelled so good. Like cinnamon and fir. Like a cosy, winter cabin. You wanted a blanket and a hot chocolate and a Christmas tree. You wanted him in an ugly turtleneck jumper and flannel sweats and furry slippers.
You wanted home.
“It feels very nice in here, Yoongi.” You couldn’t stop looking around, drinking in every small detail. You understood why he had wanted you here. He wanted to see if you could fit here.
He noticed you did.
“I got these, for you.” He said, offering you a pair of slippers, gesturing for you to take off your shoes as he did the same. He didn’t need to ask twice.
He led you through a quick tour of the house, moving quickly away from his most private places – the bedroom and the studio. You understood his reserve on those, giving his hand a quick squeeze in understanding.
“Finally, the living room.” He explained as he switched on the lights illuminating a large space with a thick cream carpet covering the cold white marble, the room completely dominated by a black leather couch. It looked very traditional and “grandpa”. It really resembled him. “Might as well settle in, we’re gonna be here for a while. Want to drink something?” He asked.
You. “What do you have in mind?” You asked, shutting up your inner slut.
“Well, I was thinking I wanted to do that ‘get-to-know-each-other’ kind of thing.” He said, opening a cabinet in the console under the gigantic tv. In the meantime ha started a slow rap playlist from his phone. “I know this will sound like usual fuckboy who’s trying to make a move, but I have no intention of getting you drunk. I’ll drink, and I promise I’ll be perfectly responsible for my actions, but you don’t have to drink or do anything you don’t want to.” He said, putting some whisky on the coffee table together with two tumblers.
However, you opened the bottle and poured some alcohol first in his glass and then in yours. “Now it’s me the one with a proposition, mr. Min.” You cocked your head playfully. “We play twenty questions. In turns we will ask twenty questions to each other. If you don’t want to answer you pass and drink.” You explained quickly.
“Okay. Let’s get it, Kitten.” He said with a smirk, as both of you sat down at the two sides of the L-shaped sofa, near the corner. “You start, ____.”
“Warm up round, yeah?” You asked.
“Play your advantage carefully.” He suggested.
You nodded, quickly leaving aside dumb and obvious questions, but still going for an innocent one. “How many exes do you have?”
“Okay, nice. Well. I’ve “officially” had three girlfriends and two flings. All the relationships ended because of my job and lifestyle.” He offered you a free piece of information. He didn’t mind anyway. “My turn?” he asked.
“Yeah, I’m satisfied.” You replied. “For now.”
He grinned devilishly. “What about your exes?”
You nodded as if expecting the question. “Officially one. It was a long, painful relationship. I’ve had flings though. Maybe eight or nine occasional partners.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Okay. I really didn’t expect that but it’s cool to me.” He said. He really didn’t mind. You’re a woman in her midtwenties, and you have the freedom to do what you want with your body. “Next.”
You looked down and toyed with your fingers, then looked up with a curious smile and gleaming mischief in your eyes. “I’ve gotta ask. When was your first time?”
He smiled. “I was nineteen. I had been dating this girl for a few months. We did it on my birthday. She was two years older than me, showed me the ropes. But even if I really liked her, it all got to hell when we debuted. She was only in it for the fact that I was an idol, she wanted an in, I think. Changed her mind when she realised I was sort of a loser.”
“Well, look at that loser now.” You said, looking him up and down and licking your lip.
He laughed embarrassed.
“I won’t do that mistake.” You promised, this time with a serious expression.
“We’ll see.” He commented, looking you up and down himself. God, he was getting flirty. A pleasured shiver ran down your spine. It wasn’t the cold. “My turn. When did you do it for the first time?”
Again you nodded. “I was with a childhood friend. It wasn’t a relationship. Just, we thought it was a good idea to do that together, because we knew each other and we trusted each other. It was nice. It felt nice. It was the summer after our senior year in high school. He moved out for university afterwards and we lost each other. But it’s a good memory, I must say.” You reminisced fondly. “No unrequited feelings, though.” You clarified, afraid that he would misunderstand.
“Okay. I’m glad it’s a good memory. I was afraid that the painful ex had been your first.” He commented, leaning towards you slightly.
“No, thank fuck.” You muttered. “Let’s move on, yeah?”
He nodded.
“I kinda have to ask this one, out of curiosity and for personal reasons. Have you ever been tested for STDs?”
He blinked and crossed his legs. “I have. It’s part of my medical check-ins. Of course the tests are more for... completeness, so to say, rather than actual need. My sex life is not that active, and when it is, I always use protection. I’m quite obsessed with it, to be honest.” He explained, his defensive stance opening up. He answered thoroughly, not even thinking of how much he was offering freely. “Do you mind me asking the same question?”
“Not at all. I also got tested. After my relationship I had to. My ex wasn’t very faithful.” You replied, blushing. “During all my flings I’ve always used protection except once. I was a bit dumb back then.” You admitted, wincing painfully. “And after my last one I got tested. He didn’t make me feel like a condom was safe enough. Thank God, everything is absolutely fine and I’m clean.”
“Oh, yeah, same here.” He offered back, with a shy laugh. “Ready for question three?”
“Yeah. I’ve got to ask one last question, for my peace of mind. Do you expect monogamy from me?” You asked.
“Do you?” He deflected.
You smiled “I asked you, Yoongi. Do you want me to date you exclusively?”
“Well I do. Do you? Want to date just me? I mean.” He asked.
“Yes, I will date you exclusively if you’re dating me exclusively.” You replied, matter-of-factly.
He shook his head, incredulous. “Of course I’m dating only you.” He murmured with a pout. “Why would I be seeing someone else?”
“I don’t know.” You shrugged.
“Well, I’m strictly monogamous, ____. I’m giving you my undivided attention and all my spare time. Don’t you ever doubt my commitment. I don’t cheat.” He seemed almost too serious for a moment.
“I needed to know.”
“It’s okay. But just because you got burned once, that doesn’t mean that everyone wants to burn you, okay? That’s a bastard’s move. I promise you I won’t.” He said. And for the first time you felt like believing in it.
You took a deep breath, then smiled. “Well, anyway, you already asked your question. So it’s my turn again.” You said, cheekily.
He huffed, offended, but let you go on.
“Time to start drinking, Yoongles.” You chanted in a sing-song voice.
He laughed silently. “We’ll see.”
“What’s your favourite position in bed?” You asked, trying to peek into his private life.
“Should I drink? At this? You have to seriously one-up your game, kitten.” He stared at you intently. He was desperately trying to keep a poker face to hide how much he wanted to climb over your body and hide in the crook of your neck, inhale your sweet scent, which was enhanced by the rain that had hit you earlier.
“I’m quite traditional. I like anything that allows me to see the face of my partner. So missionary, cowgirl and lotus. When I’m a bit angsty I go for doggy. Spoons is another one I like – and also an awfully underrated one. My past lovers all said that the angle is amazing. It’s very rewarding.” Again, he gave you more than what you asked for. He wanted you to know these random things about him. He was telling you everything he wanted you to know. Who cares about vulnerability and offering too much? His aim was to earn your trust. And for you to repay his prodigality in kind. He wanted you to open up and overshare things about yourself. He wanted to know what to imagine when he thought about kissing you. When he thought of you while touching himself. He wanted to understand what he could ask, what you could possibly like, what scared you, what you needed comfort in.
At this point you were imagining him behind you, a hand at your waist, the other on your breast, his low moans caressing your ear, eyes closed, lost in bliss. Snap out of it, slut. “Wide choice.” You commented with an awkward chuckle, still trying to get back from your fantasy.
“It really depends on my partner, though. Whatever works for them.” He shrugged, his arms leaning forward, palms up. “My turn, right?” He waited for your confirmation.
“Off you go.”
“What’s your most frequent fantasy?” He muttered, shy but also sultry, his voice a low rumble.
You inhaled deeply, noticing how close he had got to what you were thinking a few seconds ago. “Dammit, I might drink.” You looked at the glass, almost lunging for it. But it was a feint. ”Actually lately I’ve been thinking a lot about having sex in the kitchen.”
Fuck. He was out. He licked his lip. He almost thought you were done with your confession, but you went on.
“Being pushed up against the counter and bent over. Or being lifted up and sat on the counter. Having someone tease me while I’m spread on the table. Or having to keep a straight face while someone is toying with me underneath the table.” You scratched your cheek, “You pick.” You whispered slightly embarrassed, laying your hands on your cheekbones in an attempt to calm down your blush.
He lifted the glass. He needed to calm down.
When you noticed his gesture you sucked your lips in, trying to hide a smug grin.
“Are you proud of getting under my skin, Kitten?” He asked.
“Yes, of course.” You replied immediately.
“Well done, ____.” The way he almost moaned your name made your blood soar to your ear. “Your turn, kitty.”
“Are you more on the dominant or submissive side?” You asked. You honestly couldn’t figure this out. He showed small signs leaning towards both sides. He was traditionally courteous, giving you attention and taking care of you, paying for food and using his body language to show you were taken, that you weren’t hanging out with a friend or a relative, but a possible love interest. At the same time, he never initiated openly intimate contact, rather he waited for you to initiate. And he had never kissed you, nor shown any interest in doing so.
“I’m leaning dom. But it’s a slight preference. It has a lot to do with my partner’s preferences. I’ve both dommed and subbed in the past. I like the protective, possessive side of domming, but I also like the receiving, caring side of subbing. Still I enjoy the control that comes from being more dominant. I would say it’s 65 to 35 for domming.”
You nodded. That sounded good. “That’s nice. I’m also a bit in the middle. Leaning sub, though.” It felt natural replying. It felt like he should know.
“Thank you for giving that up.” He smiled, warming up to you, trying to associate a positive outcome to your sharing personal information about yourself. “Now, about my question.” He fumbled a bit in his head, trying to go for something intimate, but not openly sexual. “Okay, if you could kiss any part of your significant other but their face, what would it be?”
You smiled at the cute question. Because you honestly didn’t think of the sexual side of it. “Well, you said no face. Let me think... I think I really like giving hand kisses. They’re old school, but also so meaningful. They’re apparently platonic and innocent, but they have that side of worship and adoration that just makes me weak.” You hugged yourself, growing smitten at the thought.
He cocked his head to the side, looking at you with a curious and endeared expression.
“I also like kissing on the chest, like the breastbone, like the very center of the chest. Another not openly sexual spot, but I think it’s so tender. There’s the heart there, so it’s an especially fond spot. It sort of implies that the other person is hugging you, and that you’re laying your head on their chest.” You gushed, turning absolutely tender at the thought.
“What about the face?” He asked. He wanted your hand kisses. He wanted his fingers in your mouth, but that was not the point of the question at all and you were there smitten and cute and he should stop sexualising your cuteness outburst.
“Isn’t that another question?” You smirked, brow creasing.
“I should have asked for ‘anywhere but mouth’. Dumb me.” He huffed out and sulked.
“Then, forehead kisses. Underrated. Affectionate. Platonic but so tender. They go to a whole other level of intimacy.” You murmured, anything to stop his sulking, which was making your heart twist in your chest.
He grinned “Thank you.” He said, sinking his head between his shoulders.
“Well, pay up for it with question six. Thoughts on being vocal during sexy time?” You asked.
“Yes.” He didn’t hesitate one second. “Tendentially I’m not very verbal, and I try to keep it quiet. After such a long time with roommates, that’s kind of ingrained in me. Since I moved out, I kinda got more vocal, still not very verbal, but don’t expect pornographic feats.” He laughed, trying to relax the mood. “For my partner, any sound is a nice sound, as long as it’s not fake porn screaming. Subtle moaning and heavy breathing get me going quickly. Sensitive ears and stuff.” He scratched his neck. He was getting worked up again. Deep breath, boy. He scolded himself. “Anything else?”
You shook your head. “I’m good, thanks. Come on, shoot it.”
“It’s my number six?”
“Yes, champ. Go get it.” You teased cheekily.
He took in a big breath, licking his lips.
God, any more lip game and you’d throw yourself at him.
“Quick reminder: you have your drink there, just in case.” He offered. “Have you ever had a sex dream?”
Yes, about you and your dirty mouth and naughty hands. Wait, do dirty daydreams count?
He misunderstood your pause for a sign of reluctance. “Your drink is there, ____, waiting for you.” He reminded you.
You took your glass.
He nodded with little movements of his head, his expression neutral. That’s how much is too much, he though.
“I’ve dreamt of a classmate performing oral on me, once during that relationship I mentioned.” You admitted after taking a sip. Indeed, liquid courage. “I felt awful when I woke up. But it was an epiphany of sorts. It really made me understand how fucked up it all was. I don’t usually have those dreams.” You admitted. “Although I have dreamt random stuff about being naked and sexual feelings related to non-sexual contexts. Like once I dreamt I was canoeing on a rough river and I had this complicated torso bondage thing going on.” You laughed awkwardly.
Breast bondage. He was salivating. Maybe he was overthinking it but his mind had reserved a special spot for your breasts and maybe you didn’t even like nipple play that much and he was just making it up in his head. He closed his eyes to avoid checking your chest. He knew it would kill him. He was already dealing with a semi, elbows propped on his knees to hide it, hoping that the angle and the dim lights would help him. In a part of his brain he started building a folder about your previous relationship, saving there all the useful information. He sort of assumed, because of the dream you had recollected, that oral was some sort of hot topic during that time.
“Thank you, Kitten. I was afraid I had gone too far.”
“It’s okay. It’s just… I do wanna open up to you, but there’s hurtful stuff in the process.” You admitted. “I’m a bit fucked up.”
“We all are, sweetheart.” He reassured you, wanting nothing but to hold your hand, bring it to his heart, to his face, to his lips.
“My turn!” You smiled excitedly. “Sleeping habits: pjs, underwear or naked?”
“My sleeping habits or my preferences for my significant other?” He asked, trying to understand the answer you expected.
“Well, since you asked, both? For the kisses question earlier.” You reminded him.
“Nice, okay. I often sleep in pjs, especially when it gets colder. Naked feels nice too, I guess. Usually in the summer. When I’m on vacation.” He thought about the other one. How would he want you to sleep next to him? “I think I like my partner in very loose clothing. Oversized t-shirt and panties.” No bra, of course. He wants his hands to move there freely. “Naked sounds nice, but I don’t expect it. Some people feel vulnerable like that. My ex did.” He explained.
You understood, people are different, et cetera, but at the same time you asked yourself who wouldn’t want to sleep naked next to him. Feel him waking up, his warm skin enveloping you, his hands and mouth having free access to anything he craved, being completely laid bare for his whims and wants.
He noticed you were distracted and asked you his question right away.
When you noticed him staring you moved your head forward, waiting for him to speak.
“I’ve already asked, but maybe you were distracted, Kitten. How would you rate your sex drive from one to ten?” He asked. “To understand your needs, you see.”
You settled back against the back of the sofa, smiling and thinking. “I’d say around seven? Maybe eight? Like, usually I fool around about two or three times a week. Maybe four if I’m feeling very spoiled and needy.” You explained, fumbling around with the words. Yeah, you have toys and use them. Yeah, you masturbate and have an healthy sex life. Getting laid helps you deal with stress and mood swings, and endorphins help you keep your mood up, what’s wrong with that?
“Reasonable.” He didn’t comment on your fooling around. He might as well try to figure that out with the next question.
“What about you?” You asked.
“Is that your question, Kitten?” He waited for your confirmation. At your lively nod, he smiled. “I think I’m also around seven. As you said, I fool around about three to four times a week, when I’m quite relaxed. Sometimes I might get too tired and just avoid it entirely. Sometimes I’m tired but nervous and just do it more often but take shorter sessions. My question now.” He wanted to speed things up a little. It was around three now and he was afraid you wanted to bail on him.
“Go.” You said, already expecting this one to be bad.
“Do you use any sex toys?”
You laughed. “Yes. I do.”
“That’s it?” He asked, impatient to know more.
“When did this conversation become so explicit?” You asked.
“It was you who started it. But since I’m interested in knowing what you like and what you need, I realised I could use it to my advantage. I want to build intimacy with you before I start actually messing with you. I want our first time to feel right. I want to be able to laugh it out, were things to get messy. I want to know how to make you lose your mind beforehand.”
“If you say so…” You smiled suspicious but also curious. “I have a vibrator. A simple, practical one. Very old school, a bullet number. I also have a double density dildo. Expensive ordeal, but most definitely worth the money. And nipple suction cups. They’re still new. It’s a gift from myself I did a few months ago after a tough time at work.”
Fuck, he wanted to shove his head in a frozen lake. Could you? For real? He dragged his hands down his face.
“I wish I could see what’s going on in your head right now.” You wondered, faking aloofness. You were most likely ready to spread yourself on the coffee table and ask him to feast on you. “Now, about my question.” You followed your intuition. “What’s the body part that turns you on the most?”
He took a sip.
Don’t leave me hanging, Yoongi, please. “I like eye contact. Makes me understand the mood of my partner. It really turns me on when my partner maintains eye contact during sex. And I’m a breasts man. A hopeless one at that.” Again he shrugged in an “I can’t help it” kind of way.
You laid your head back against the sofa, looking at him with a knowing glance from under your lashes. “Interesting.” How long would it take to convince him to rip your shirt, slip the cups of your bra under your tits and suck your nipples until you orgasmed a couple times and fell asleep?
He took another sip. He was blushing. You liked your nipples sucked. And he liked sucking them. How convenient. “What’s a blatantly nonsexual thing that turns you on?” He asked, putting down the glass.
You did consider drinking. Could you handle him knowing such a sensitive piece of information? To hell with reason. “If you cup my face I’ll go smitten. Pair that up with a term of endearment or a little praise and I’m ready to drop to my knees.” You admitted.
“Praise kink?” He asked.
“No. I just get soft when someone cups my cheek. It makes me want to please them.” You admit.
“You know I’ll use this against you the moment you allow me to, right?” He states openly.
“Yes. I don’t mind.”
“Ask your question. It’s number ten baby.” He looked at his watch. “It’s late. Tell me when you want to go. I’ll understand.”
“I want to keep going.” You said. In more ways than one. “What’s something you want to try in bed?”
He stared off in the distance. “Oh. Let me think.” He started bouncing his leg. “Specifically in bed?”
“Yes.”
“I’m pretty sensitive. Maybe I would try something with blindfolds and restraints and sensation play? Like a feather or silk or something along that line.” He blushed and his his eyes in his hands.
“That sounds interesting. You want to try that on someone else or on yourself?” You asked for clarification.
“Myself. But I’m not opposed to doing that to someone else. Okay, let’s go on, I’m suffering here.” Inhale. Exhale. “Do you want to take it down a notch or keep going?”
“Keep going.” You murmured, afraid of what would come next, but also excited.
“Kitten, what makes you wet in seconds?” He whispered.
“You want to use this against me too?” You suspected.
“Only in your best interests.”
“Do you mean sexual things that turn me on innocent ones?” You pushed your head behind your ear.
“Do your thing, kitten.”
“On a more innocent level, I’m really sensitive to voices. I must say that yours unsettles me a little.” You confessed on a small note, with a tiny voice. “On a sexual level, I’m a mess for anything around my chest and neck. It makes me weak at the knees, it really drives me wild.”
“Touching, kissing, biting, sucking, licking…?” He suggested, fixing his posture.
“Yes to all.” You whispered, stretching to get the glass.
“Yeah.” He took a sip himself.
You gulped and put down the tumbler. “Do you ever willingly deepen your voice?”
“Yes. I did it for you, when we met. I saw you shiver when I did it accidentally, the first time we met at the office. So I did it again. I wanted you to notice me, I wanted to get you flustered.” He admitted shyly.
You sucked you lip. “You did. I was squeezing my legs so bad. You know when you stood up and said goodbye?”
“You were holding the edge of the table.” He remembered, nodding.
“My knees were wobbly. I don’t think my legs could hold me up.” You confessed, shaking your head timidly.
“Poor Kitten.” He said, hiding his mouth behind his hand. “Can I ask you a tricky question, sweetheart?”
As you nodded he huffed out a question, scared to ask. “Oral: giving or receiving.”
“Giving. Receiving is a difficult matter. My ex didn’t really… enjoy that.” You spoke vaguely.
He did a double take. “He didn’t eat you out?”
You shook your head gingerly.
“He was shit.” He muttered, pouring himself another shot. You were eleven questions in and he’d drunk only sips. And it was not because he didn’t answer but rather because he needed to calm his nerves before he jumped you.
“I guess so.” You giggled embarrassedly.
“Never?” he asked again, shocked. “Never in 3 years?”
“Never.” You confirmed. “He said the taste made him gross.”
“Gross… And he wanted you to suck him, quite obviously.”
“I didn’t mind. I like the view”. You admitted with a playful gleam in your eyes.
He saved that for later, but at the moment he was too busy handling the matter of your ex. “Fucker.” He replied and took a sip. “But are you opposed to it?” Yoongi asked, curious and honestly worried. He would give anything to convince you to let him change your mind.
You blushed. “I’ve done it a couple times with a few flings, but just like you and noise-making, my mind is kind of set on giving rather than receiving. Still, I think I could give it a try.” You announced.
“I’m glad you’re not letting that fucker take that from you.” He admitted, keeping the glass in his hand and holding onto it like it were his sanity.
“If I’m being honest, after that time we went to the park– you remember the ice cream right?”
Yeah, he remembered. Most importantly he remembered the huge boner he’d got as he watched you eating it, his body losing it like a teenager. He nodded.
“I think I’ve started to think about… Your head. There.” You were getting loose-lipped.
You were going to make him sin. He swore under his breath, downing the shot. Again you laughed, enjoying how you were affecting him. “Gonna show you how good it is.” He teased.
“Hope you’ll show me many, many things.” You joked cheekily.
“Trust me, I’m keeping a list, sweetheart.” And the final smirk made you want to rip your own panties and offer yourself to his pink, wet tongue. “Are you okay, Kitten?” He asked, reaching for your knee.
If he touches me, I’ll fucking explode. And there was his hand. On your knee. “Have you ever had sexual fantasies about a man?” The words left your mouth quickly.
He let his fingertips caress your clothed skin. He wished you were wearing a skirt. “I consider myself attracted to people regardless of their gender identity. I had a very brief fling with a man once, but nothing truly ever happened. We just kissed a couple times, but we weren’t right for each other, emotionally. He was too reserved for me. And he was incredibly untrusting.”
“So trust is the dealbraker? Trust?” You asked, immediately interested in something that had changed his relationship so dramatically.
He didn’t hesitate. “Yes.”
“Okay. I understand.”
“Moving on. What are your thoughts on the last time you had sex?” He kept spurring you on, going deeper and deeper under your skin, getting closer and closer to your soul, trying to discover the very heart of you, and most importantly if he had any chance to settle there.
“Oh God.” You laughed. “It was almost eight months ago. It was traumatic.” Again you laughed.
“Is that an exasperated laugh?” He asked, worried but also interested in your ironic reaction.
“I’m laughing to hold back tears. Last time I had sex, the dude had a dick too big for his own good and didn’t know how to use it. I definitely faked the second one because he kept poking me with his fingers. I asked to change positions so I could touch myself and cum. It was awful.” You laughed some more. “When I went back home I just had to take care of myself.”
“Promise you won’t fake with me.” He almost begged. “Promise me you won’t go home and take care of yourself.”
“I can promise you the first.” You bit your lip. And drank. Don’t ask me the second, please don’t. Please.
“I’ll need the other one too, you know.” He said, pressing you in the matter.
You have no idea, Yoongi. “I can’t.”
“Why not?” He murmured, frowning.
Because I did that so many times already coming home from dates with you, every time silently begging you to kiss me, to touch me, to ruin me. “I’ll try to from now on.”
“I’m sorry if I sent you home frustrated before. But I honestly needed to take my time.” He shoved his hands in his hair, combing it back. “I tend to rush. Once I let go.” He confessed exhaling loudly. He looked at you with a lustful glance. “But I promise I’ll take care of you. Completely.” He was getting flirtier.
“Quickies or long session?”
“Is that your question, kitten? Are you sure?” He raised his eyebrows.
“Answer me, Yoongi.” You laid back, opening your legs just lightly. Anything to lessen the discomfort lodged in your crotch.
He looked amused. “I can do both. But long sessions for the win. The devil’s in the details and the sex is in the foreplay.” He also leaned back and parted his legs, mirroring you perfectly. “What’s the best sex you’ve ever had?”
“A guy I was dating on-again-off-again, before I met my ex. I was twenty. I let him go because I was starting to fall for my ex. He showed me half the stuff I like. The other half I picked up myself.”
He wanted to know more. He wanted to know what you liked, what he owed some horny teenager and what you had discovered yourself. How you had discovered it. Most importantly, he wanted to excel in everything you liked. He wanted to please you again and again, till you were drunk in bliss and his taste, your skin glistening in a gross and divine mixture of his sweat and drool and your own perspiration. He wanted messy and loud and obliterating.
He wanted…
“Have you ever touched yourself while thinking of me?” You asked, bold, spitting the question out of your tongue like ripping off a band aid.
He threw his head back, groaning in something that looked like pain. It wasn’t arousal. You were quite sure.
He was burgundy with shame and effort. He grabbed the glass and downed the alcohol in one go. “Yes.”
You rolled your neck and exhaled, moaning.
“Almost every day.” He went on. “I can’t get you out of my head and I need it to stop for just. One. Second.”
You gulped, then took a big breath through you mouth. “I have too. Thought of you, that is.”
“I assumed so.” He whispered. “I’ve thought of things I’m not proud of, Kitten. I’m a grown, respectful man, but you’ve made such a sorry mess of me.”
“I am so sorry, Yoongi.” No, you’re not.
“You’re truly sadistic, aren’t you?” He asks.
“Is that your question?”
“No.” He pauses. “What’s your favourite body part on yourself and on me?”
Your heartbeat felt like a joke. You closed your legs. No need to try and play it cool. You were drenched, and you were afraid that by now it was actually starting to show. “I think I like my hands? Or maybe… I don’t really know. I think my hands are nice.”
“They are beautiful, ____, really.” So were your tits, but it didn’t feel quite right to point that out in that precise moments.
“Thank you.” You took a long break, biting your lip before going on with your answer. “On you... I’ve been thinking about those hands a lot”
“Really?”
“Yeah.” You deadpanned. The background music shifted to something sultry and so slow you felt like desire was spiraling in your loins with that cool, rich drawl.
“What about them?” He continued.
You took a sip of your drink, looking at him from under your lashes. “Around my throat.”
Yoongi sat back, undoing one button of his shirt. “Keep going.”
“One around my throat, the other in my hair as you kiss me, drawing me in. Keeping me still.”
“Keep going.” He said, closing his eyes and rolling his shoulders.
“Maybe I’ve been thinking of your hand on my chest. Your fingers pinching my nipples.”
“God bless you, Kitten. What else did my naughty hands do in those dreams of yours.”
Your voice got breathy and shy. “Maybe… Just maybe they got between my legs.”
“And how did that make you feel.” He was going to lose it.
“Horny.”
His heavy breathing stopped for a second. “Did you touch yourself?” His eyes opened to look at your reaction.
You nodded slowly, trying to get some saliva in your awfully dry mouth. The whisky helped. “I needed it.”
“Good girl.” He praised your honesty, again trying to work on that association between your openness and a positive outcome. He thought it was over. Your confession.
“But to be honest what really made me cum was thinking of your pretty pout on my breasts, licking my tits and biting into the soft skin there.”
He growled, pushing the balls of his hands against his eyes. “Kitten, I think I just came in my pants.”
You laughed wildly at his honesty, rolling your head back and teasing him, showing the expanse of your neck and chest.
“Cruel, ain’t you?”
“I’m also sweet.”
“I don’t care, I’ll lick you up anyway.” He teased downing his glass. His second.
You both did a refill. You were tipsy and his eyes had a gleam that wasn’t there at the beginning of the evening.
“You won’t be able to drive me home.” You murmured.
“Do you really want me to?” He asked.
“No.” You answered.
“Remember, I promised not to fuck you tonight, Kitten.” He reminded you.
“Not even foreplay?” You pouted. “Not even making out? A small peck on the lips?”
“I’m hungry for you. That shit just ain’t it.” He growled. You knew he had deepened his voice for you.
You crossed your legs. “Do you like massage?”
“What number is that?” He asked, referring to how many questions you’ve gone through.
“Fifteen. Do you?” You pressed him, trying to get him to talk.
“I mentioned being sensitive. I do like that when I’m in a stressed mood. I like it after a warm bath, with warm lotion or massage oil. It really makes me weak. An ex introduced me to it and I think I got a bit addicted to it, whenever I feel like I need to be taken care of.”
“It sounds nice.” It felt like a nice pause from the kinkfest that had been going on until five minutes ago.
“Have you ever cried while you were in bed with someone?” He asked, his voice delicate as he reached for another intimate, although innocent side of you.
“The first time I hooked up after my ex. It was so liberating I cried. The guy beside me freaked out a little, but he understood. He was kind, just very emotionally dumb, I suppose.”
“I’m sorry for that. It sounds like he scarred you so much.” Yoongi commented, his boiling desire subduing at your vulnerable, tender side. A silly, egotistic part of him wanted to heal you. Try as hard as he might.
“It’s cool.” Your mouth quirked to the side. “Let’s move on to brighter themes, yeah? What’s your favourite thing to do, sexually speaking?”
He looked at you with doubt in his eyes. You knew the past scars conversation wasn’t over. Still, he smiled bright and replied. “I want to suck your nipples. Bite your soft, round tits, leave hickies all over them.” He leaned over, feeling bold as he let his hand catch yours. He scooted closer to you, his voice so deep he sounded like Hades, god of the Underworld. “That’s one of my favourite things in bed. And not just there, honestly.”
Could a person die from arousal? Because you felt your heart burst at that moment, explode like a match and light up your bonfire body. “Yoongi.” You murmured as he let the back of his fingers travel along the outer side of your thigh in a phantom touch.
“You wanna know what else I really, really like doing in bed? Another fantasy of mine?” He asked, his tone patronising but his posture all the opposite, respectful and tender, like a man talking to his woman. He leaned down, close to your ear. “I want you to sit on my face, Kitten. I wanna lick you up like you’re dripping in cream. I want my face covered in jour taste. I want to choke between your legs. Will you give me that?” He asked, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear and placing a soft kiss on your temple. “Will you give me that, Kitten?”
You had gone completely still, afraid that even your smallest move could break the spell. “Take it now, please, Yoongi.” You begged. “I can’t take this anymore. I’m so wet. I’m so tired of needing you all the time!” You whined, grabbing his hand and placing it between your clothed thighs, where your wetness had started to diffuse.
“I can’t, Kitten. You know our promises. But what about my question, uh? Have you ever had a threesome, sweetheart?”
“Once. After leaving my ex I had some wild times. A couple of university friends asked me to join them. I sort of liked it.” You admitted, as your hips tried to grind against his barely-there fingers.
“Liked doing it with a girl?” He asked, gripping your thigh and pressing you down, stopping your attempt at release.
“I liked eating her out.”
“Kitty girl likes using her tongue. Good for her.” He murmured, trying to stop the image of you doing that. He needed to try. Needed to see. Fuck monogamy, he could try this before you became too his to share.
By now he was sitting at your side and you were doing everything, everything in your power to stop yourself from straddling his lap and shoving his head between your breasts. You took your glass and took a sip, his nose drawing a thin line following the outline of your throat while swallowing. You almost choked. “What’s your favorite part of sex?”
“Foreplay. But it was already clear, wasn’t it?” He taunted. “You need to focus, Kitten. Ask the right questions. Mirror sex?” He queried.
“Yes.” You replied. Alcohol spurred you on. “Honestly, I want to try giving a man a hand job while stading behind him, in front of a mirror. I’d like to feel the power of that.” You shrugged.
“That sounds nice.” He played it cool, the erection in his trousers now too blatant to even bother covering.
You almost wanted to ask him if he had a full-length mirror nearby so you could get started right there and then. But you didn’t like how cool and unaffected he seemed. You wanted him to get flustered and drink and undo another button. You wanted him to throw his head back so you could lick a stripe up his neck. “And I would whisper dirty stuff in your ear. Don’t think I didn’t notice how flustered you were during our gallery visit.”
“Darling, that was an exercise in restraint. I almost smashed you against the closest painting at least three times.”
“Only three times?” You lifted your eyebrows dramatically.
“I’m almost offended, Min Yoongi.”
“Careful there, Kitten.” He warned.
“Unless?” You provoked him.
“I’ve promised I won’t fuck you tonight.” He murmured.
“Such a coquettish tease you are.” You huffed, looking away.
“I want you to ruin me, Kitten. We can’t do that until promotion is over and you can leave marks all over me as much as you want.” His deepened voice made you squirm on your seat, legs crossing in desperate need to ease the pulsing under your panties.
“It’s almost four a.m. Are you sure you want to finish this?”
I want you to finish me. “Question...”
“Eighteen, babe.”
“Mh, nice. If your partner ever caught you touching yourself, would you keep going?”
“Depends, but yeah, I think so.” Pause. “I would put up a nice show for you.” He palmed his erection through the fabric, trying to get more comfortable.
Yes, you noticed. No, you did not comment. Self combustion is not your current goal, after all. “That’s all you’re gonna offer me?” You asked piqued, dragging your fingernail from his knee to his hipbone slowly. He didn’t manage to hold back a shiver.
You chuckled lowly. “Sensitive little thing.”
“My turn, little devil. What of masturbating while dirty talking?” He asked, his arm moving behind your back and climbing up, snaking around your shoulder, his hand grabbing your chin to shift your gaze from his lap to his face.
“Want to know a secret, baby?” You lured him in, carefully.
“Everything.”
“I’ve touched myself while listening to you.” You whispered at his ear, goosebumps raising everywhere, his whole body growing too sensitive as your hand moved to his inner thigh.
“Really?” Yoongi asks, trying to push his crotch in your palm.
You retreated your hand, offering only the tip of your index finger, which started lazily tracing the outline of his hard on. “I’m sorry. Does it bother you?”
He winced. He would really come in his pants like a teenager. Was your question about your hand or about using his voice to get yourself off? He didn’t mind, both. “I’m perfectly good with it, Kitten. I’m just surprised. What was I talking about.” His voice was neutral, but his eyes were closing, mouth hanging open.
You neared your mouth to his ear and started explaining. “It was a voice note. You were discussing a beat, describing the vibe of the piece you had just finished, murmuring stuff about the bass and not being sure of the tempo, maybe slowing it down.”
“And you came to that?” He asked, opening his eyes and meeting yours.
You were stroking him through his clothes and you hadn’t even kissed him yet. I told you. A slut. That’s what you are. You reprimanded yourself. “I came to the sound of your voice. The pattern of stresses. It was so relaxing. The way your voice resonated.” You kissed his jaw, taking courage.
He smiled. “Next time I’ll send you something more... stimulating, then.” He cocked his head to the side, showing you the soft skin below his chin.
You kissed there too. “I’ll look forward to it.” Another kiss. “Final question.” Another. “if you could do anything to me right now, what would you do?” You placed another kiss on his neck as he moaned, his hips moving shamelessly.
You offered him your palm.
He groaned when he started answering. “Tear your clothes off. Suck your panties clean ‘cause they must be soaked.”
You squeezed your hand around his shape. He was rock hard, the curve following the waistband of his pants. He didn’t feel excessively big, but still his thickness felt nice on your palm. You just wished you could see him naked. He emitted a low whine, his hand dropping from your chin and hitting your chest. “Keep going, Yoongi.” You encouraged him, needing to know what he wanted to do to you.
“I would lick you clean. Fuck you on the sofa, you on top of me. Riding me while I suck on those gorgeous tits.” His hand reached lower, holding your breast and rolling it expertly in his gentle grip. “I’d cum in your cunt while I’m balls deep inside you. And when we’re done I would fuck my cum back inside with my tongue.” He growled like a vicious beast and you just couldn’t help it, you needed your hand between your thighs. You obeyed to your need.
“You’re a filthy, greedy boy, Yoongi, aren’t you?” You asked, giving him more, rewarding for the glorious image he’d just gifted you.
“It’s with you. Just you.” He called out, his voice broken, his mouth desperate. “My final question. Why haven’t you kissed my lips yet?”
“I was waiting for you.” You murmured, bringing your lips upwards, against his throat. He was completely immobilised as you lingered a hairsbreadth from his plush pout. “Yes?”
“Yes.” He whispered.
That’s when you lowered yourself on him, once hopeless, starved and now finally hopeful and nourished.
He feeded you milk and honey, his assault sweet and rich, a balm to your tarnished soul. His lips latched onto your lower lip, sucking and sucking in a way that made you want to offer him every inch of your body. Yes, you would still wait for this. You would keep waiting. For this moment to come back, for this feeling to bloom and fill you over and over again, anytime he kissed you, from now to the rest of eternity. You murmured his name on his mouth and he spoke yours, with alarm over his features.
“Too much, too much, Kitten, please.” He whispered, pressing harder against your hand. “Want you. Please. Touch yourself. I wanna cum with you.”
He was lost and desperate, grinding against you like a fool.
You undid your zipper and put your hands on your sodden folds. You delivered a peck on his lips. “How close?” You asked.
“Very.” He replied, wetting your lips with the tip of his tongue, making you open your mouth and licking you up, flirting with your own tongue.
You pulled away to bite his jaw gently. “I’ve never been this wet, Yoongi. I’ve wanted you for so long.”
“Gimme...” You studied the geography of his lap, finding his tip and focusing there. “Yes.” He murmured, before intensifying his pushes. “Yes. Yes. Yes. Please, ____, let me hear you.”
You let out an embarrassed, tentative whine, then, trying to properly assist him, you started getting carried away, losing your damper, clenching your inner muscles and whispering his name. “Yoongi, I’m close.” You murmured. “Need you to…”
“Yes, Kitten, baby, please… I–” With a groan, he hid his head in the crook of your neck, biting on the skin, not too harshly.
It was all it took. “Yoongi!” You screamed, pushing into your own hand and collapsing against the back of the couch, dragging him with you.
When you regained conscience, he was already out of his high, looking flustered and sleepy and glowing. Beautiful.
“Can I?” He uttered quietly.
You nodded, barely coherent.
He helped your hand out of your waistband, careful not to stain your clothes. And granting you a fine view, he brought your hands to his mouth and licked them clean.
His tongue delved into every angle and plane, making sure he got every drop. Licking his lips, he stared into your soul and murmured deeply. “The fucking sweetest.”
And then he held you close. “There’s a spare bathroom, at the end of the hall. It has everything you need.” He explained. “I’ll get cleaned myself. Will you sleep in my bed?” He asked, his voice so vulnerable it shattered your heart.
“Of course, sweetheart.”
354 notes · View notes
loisinherlane · 4 years ago
Note
for the drabble thing, 13 and timkon? i love your writing<3
🥺 thank you so much!!! that means a lot <3 (for the record, i’m imagining the yj crew as about... 20? ish. somewhere in that range)
13. “My hobby is making fun of you when you talk.”
In Kon’s defense, Tim had a very particular way of talking. He probably took elocution lessons or something equally dumb that rich folks do to learn to speak so neatly and professionally, with a stupidly clean accent as Tim Drake, and a harsher, city-fied accent as Robin, never mind the way he lowered his voice and used an even different accent as Red Robin. But underneath all of that, he had something else about his words that made the cadence of his voice easy to follow, even in text.
Most of the time, Kon thought it was cute and endearing. They’d only been living together for six months, and almost everything about Tim was cute and endearing, except when it wasn’t.
It also made him easy to mock.
“Pick up dinner on your way home. I want pizza. No pineapple. Keep your Hawaii away from my cheesy tomato bread,” Kon read from his phone, back against the arm of the couch. Cassie, on the other end, cracked up.
“Oh my god, you sound just like him,” she wheezed.
It was funny. Sue him. Kon didn’t mean to make it a habit. But Tim shot another text while he was having his biweekly lunch date with Bart (at the next buffet on the list of buffets he and his family were not banned from), and:
“Would you please put half of your beauty products under the counter? I don’t even have room for my toothbrush.”
“Ha! You sound just like Tim,” Bart said, wiping a tear from his eye.
So if Kon was with friends, he’d read Tim’s texts out loud, just a joke. And then it turned into mocking Tim’s tone when someone said something, and Kon was missing his boyfriend. And then...
“Okay, if we want to spend only three days at the park, we need to plan accordingly. We can maximize our time if we plan our meals and rides. Everyone needs to vote on which rides they care about most,” Tim said, outlining their group vacation in his stupid cute overplanning way. Kon, an arm slung around his shoulders, couldn’t help miming along.
No one had noticed at first because they were planning. Then Bart looked up. His face turned red as he tried not to laugh. Cassie looked up too. She bit her lip. Cissie looked up. She pinched the bridge of her nose and pressed her lips together. Greta scrunched her nose. Anita snorted. Tim looked up at the group.
“We can also split into-- What?” He turned around, shooting a glare at their friends until he turned to Kon. “Are you--?”
“I’m just...” Kon laughed nervously. “My hobby is making fun of you when you talk.”
Tim raised a brow.
Kon gave another laugh. “Come on, baby. It’s cute. You have a cute way of talking.”
“Hm,” Tim mused. “I could do it too, you know.”
Kon didn’t like the sound of that. Tim reached over, yanking the sunglasses out of Kon’s hair. Ouch. That tugged.
Tim set the glasses on his nose and peered over the lenses with a dumb leer. “Hey, ladies. I know you came for the gun show, but this guy--” He jerked his thumbs at himself, voice low and yet... really obnoxious. “--is taken. Have you met my boyfriend? He’s super smart and cool and--”
“Alright, give me that.” Kon leaned over.
Tim scooched away. “Hey, babe,” he said, his pitch returning to normal as he laughed. “Baby, Timmy, have I told you how wonderful and perfect you are today? How I don’t deserve you?”
Of course their friends were laughing. The traitors. “Give me my sunglasses back,” Kon hissed.
Anita leaned over and grabbed the paper from Tim. “Let’s make sure they have their own room, yeah?”
42 notes · View notes
avengerscompound · 4 years ago
Text
The Tower: Family - 16
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The Tower: Family An Avengers Fanfic
Series Masterlist PREVIOUS //
Pairing:  Avengers x OFC, Bruce Banner x Bucky Barnes x Clint Barton x Wanda Maximoff x Steve Rogers x Natasha Romanoff x Tony Stark x Thor x Sam Wilson x OFC (Elly Cooper)
Word Count: 2472
Warnings:  Pregnancy, Smut (Bisexual orgy, watching porn, oral sex, anal sex, vaginal fingering, face fucking, triple penetration, come play)
Synopsis: With new powers, Thor now living on Earth full time, a wedding to plan, and Natasha and Wanda expecting, a lot is changing for Elly and her large and rather unconventional family.  When Elise’s parents try to reestablish connections, Elly questions what being a family actually means.
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Chapter 16: Reminiscing
“I think we should all watch porn in the home theater.”
Our whole group had stopped at a cafe on the way home from dropping the kids off and had brunch together.  Something we’d never actually done as a complete group before and was even rare for any of us in general.  It was nice.  Some of the guys ordered mimosas and Bruce ordered four of everything on the breakfast menu.  It felt like the first actual date all of us had been on as a group.
On the way home, we talked about the things we could do with our first kid-free time since the honeymoon.  Of course, most of them seemed to revolve around sex, though there had been a couple of votes for a big group nap and watching all those TV shows we couldn’t watch with the kids there because of their content.  So while Tony’s suggestion wasn’t completely out of left-field, every single one of us was shocked.
“No one wants to watch porn, Tony,” Steve deadpanned.
“Now, now,” Clint said.  “Let’s not table the idea completely.”
“Yeah, Steve,” Natasha teased.  “Speak for yourself.”
“What is… porn?”  Thor asked.
Clint and Tony stared at the god with their mouths open.  “How many years have you been visiting earth and you don’t have porn?”
“I’m more curious that porn doesn’t exist on Asgard,” Bruce said.  “I would have thought that was a universal constant.”
Thor looked at everyone, waiting for someone to explain.  “Nope, that settles it, we’re watching porn in the theater.”
“I don’t want to watch porn in the theater,” Steve sighed.
“Can someone please explain to me what this word means?”  Thor said.
“Porn is basically just material featuring people having sex,” Sam explained.  “In this case, he wants to watch videos of people having sex in the theater room.”
“Oh, erotica,” Thor said in understanding.  “I have not heard that term before.”
“Wait, Steve, before you say no completely, think about this,” he said.  “FRIDAY can flip the floor so that there are no chairs.  Just a great big bed that will fit all of us.”
“It’s not the seating arrangement that I take issue with, Tony,” Steve argued.  “I don’t want to watch porn.”
“Hey, Steve,” Clint said, coming over to him and running his palm over Steve’s arm.  “What if it wasn’t just random strangers?  What if we watch the videos that we made for the others.  Remember when everyone was on the mission and El and I kept fucking all over the place?”
I hummed.  “Those were the days.  Remember when we could just fuck all over the place?”
“We could never do that, Elise,” Steve scolded.  “You and Clint just didn’t care. And now you do.”
“That’s our plan for tomorrow, huh, El?”  Clint teased.
I giggled and nodded my head.  “Aye, me hearty.”
Clint cracked up laughing while Natasha gave him a confused look.
“So how about it, Steve?”  Sam said, coming up behind Steve and running his hand up the super-soldier’s stomach.  “Wanna watch those videos you made for us?  They were very hot.”
Steve seemed to think it over and a smile crept over his face.  “I’m in.”
Everyone else agreed too.  Apart from Thor, everyone had seen at least two out of three of the videos Clint and I had made with the help of Steve and Bruce, and they all seemed eager to see them again.
We filed into the home theater and as we entered the room the chairs all sunk into the floor and a large bed emerged from the ceiling, completely made up.  We climbed into bed and the first of the movies we’d made started up.  It was the one of Bruce and me on the recliner.  My legs were spread and my face was a mask of ecstasy as his fingers moved inside me.  Bruce’s face was set in deep concentration, but his eyes had that green tinge they used to get when Hulk was watching.
“Banner, you were being much more brazen than you usually were,” Thor said, clapping Bruce on the shoulder.
Bruce blushed and ran his hand through his hair.  “Clint and Elise had spent the whole day getting me and everyone else worked up.”
“I wish I had been there, it sounds like it was most enjoyable,” Thor said.
“It was really just a way for me to deal with the stress of what was going on.  The mission was dangerous and I felt pretty helpless,” I explained.  “So Clint was trying to distract me and Bruce because he was on the verge of Hulking out.”
“And I am awesome at sex,” Clint said.
“Is that so, little bird,” Thor said and pulled Clint into a hungry kiss.  Clint has a sudden look of surprise on his face before closing his eyes and wrapping his arms around Thor’s neck.
“God, look how young I look,” I said.
“Young and about to come,” Tony teased, walking his fingers up the inside of my leg.
“You do look close, El,” Sam teased.
“And young,” Bucky said.  “Jesus Tasha, why were you pursuing a fetus?”
“I like ‘em young,” Natasha joked, as the younger me cursed and came hard around Bruce’s fingers.
“God that was so sexy,” Steve said.  “When I opened that video on the way down to you, it made me so hard.”
“Looks like it has now too, Cap,” Sam said, massaging Steve’s crotch.
In the film, Bruce has offered his soaked fingers to me and I was sucking them clean.
“I liked your hair like that,” Wanda said.
I giggled.  “Are you saying you don’t like it now?”
“No, I do like it,” Wanda said, breaking down into giggles too.
“Maybe she just means in that sex messed way,” Bruce suggested.
The video switched to one of Clint on all fours and Steve easing a plug out of his ass.
“No,” Wanda giggled.  “That’s not it.  It’s just shorter now.”
“Oh yeah, remember when you cut it all off?  Why’d you cut it again?”  Tony asked.
“Because Riley would grab handfuls of it and nearly yank it out of my scalp,” I said.  “I kinda miss it short.  I liked how it barely took anything to look after it.  I’m thinking about getting a mohawk.”
“Oh, like Carol?”  Natasha asked.  “That would be hot as hell. Do that.”
“Are we really talking about El’s haircut while there’s a video of Steve fingering Clint’s ass playing?”  Tony asked.
“Mm, I think you’re right,” Natasha said.  “I think we might all need to be getting rid of our clothes.”
“Now we’re talking,” Tony said, quickly stripping off his clothes.
The rest of us followed suit, Bruce shifting down, so his clothes just fell away due to their size.  By the time we were all naked, the video was showing Clint on his back and Steve was easing his cock into Clint’s ass.
Bruce crawled over to me and pulled me into his lap.  I curled against his chest and kissed his neck.  Around us the others were doing similar things, kissing as they watched the video.  Bucky had started to slowly finger Wanda and Sam was eating Natasha out as she jerked Steve’s cock.  “You know,” Bruce whispered to me.  “Things have changed so much for me since Asgard.  I feel complete and confident and totally happy.  I’ve never had that before.  But I remember this day, and you and Clint taking care of me when I was so stressed out.  When we got word that everyone was coming home.  I felt so relieved and accepted.  That was the closest I’ve ever felt to how I do right now.  And that was because of you.”
“Really?” I asked.
“Mm-hmm,” Bruce said, slipping a hand between my legs and massaging my cunt.  “You did a lot for me.  What can I do for you?”
“You know what I want right now?”  I whispered.
“I’m guessing it’s something really dirty,” Bruce chuckled.
“I want four dicks in me,” I whispered against his ear.
Bruce circled his fingers over my clit and looked around at the others.  In the video, Steve had started to jerk Clint off as he fucked him and I knew Clint wasn’t far off from blowing his load.
“Thor, Clint, Tony?  Care to join us?” Bruce asked.  “Our girl here wants to be stuffed tight.”
“Is that gonna be safe for the baby?”  Tony asked as he moved over.
“Uh-huh,” I moaned softly as Bruce pushed a finger inside me.  “I’m not even showing yet, none of you will even get close to it.  It’s all protected in its little house.”
Tony chuckled.  “Darling, I am a genius, you didn’t need to dumb it down.”
He grabbed a tube of lube from a compartment at the head of the bed and we moved to the edge of the mattress.  Bruce lay down with his legs over the end of the bed and Clint began to lube up Bruce’s cock.  I straddled Bruce’s waist and Clint guided him inside of me.
“I guess I’m gonna be the one doing the acrobatic stuff,” Clint said, as he lubed up his cock.
“Well, you are the acrobat,” Tony teased.
I started to bounce on Bruce’s cock as I watched the screen.  Steve was pounding into Clint’s ass and jerking him off and Clint arched his back and came all over himself.
Thor stepped up between Bruce’s legs adding more lube, and teasing my entrance with his fingers. As he did Clint began to do the same to my ass.  I moaned loudly and buried my face in Bruce’s neck.
“I’ve got you,” Bruce whispered.
“No,” Tony said, lifting my chin.  “Don’t you want to put that pretty mouth of yours to good use?”
“Yes, Tony,” I moaned.  Thor had two fingers pushing in and out of me along the length of Bruce’s cock, stretching me so I could take him too.  Clint had started adding a second finger into my ass and I was already starting to question what I’d gotten myself into.
Tony teased the head of his cock over my lips. I flicked my tongue over the slit of his cock, and he hummed.  “Come on now, darling,” Tony purred.  “Open wide.”
I opened my mouth and he pushed his cock inside.  I closed my eyes and started to suck his cock.  The sounds of moans filled the room.  Not just from us but from the speakers.  My own desperate moans blasted around us.
I was barely even aware of that, all my attention was on the way my holes were being stretched.
Thor lined himself up and eased in.  My cunt stretched and burned to accommodate him, and Bruce groaned and bucked up into me.  My sounds were muffled by Tony’s cock as he slowly rolled his hips.
When Thor had pushed in as deep as he could, Clint climbed up over me into a crouched position and lined himself up to my ass.  The head of his cock pressed against my asshole.  I moaned, trying to just keep my focus on sucking up and down on Tony’s cock, but as Clint sunk into my ass, I cried out, releasing Tony’s cock.
The four men all gave me a moment to adjust.  On the screen, I was scrambling for purchase as Steve railed into me.  Natasha, Sam, and Steve had formed a train, Steve fucking into Sam as Sam fucked Natasha, and beside them, Wanda was riding Bucky.  I could feel everyone, but none of them could detract from how completely and utterly stretched and full I felt.
As I adjusted, Thor, Bruce, and Clint started to thrust, Tony grabbed my hair and pulled my head back.  I opened my mouth and he thrust back in.
They started slow, letting me get used to them penetrating me.  It danced a line between pleasure and pain, but as they picked up the pace and I started to feel fuzzy and unfocused, it felt nothing but good. Pleasure surged through me and I moaned and gagged on Tony’s cock.
Bruce held me close and Clint pressed down on my back as he balanced above me and thrust into my ass.  “Oh, god,” Bruce moaned.  “Feels so good.  Can feel you.”
“That’s right, Bruce,” Thor rumbled.  “All of us together.”
He ran his large hands around my hips and a spark danced between us, making my muscles clench out of my control.  I came suddenly and without warning, releasing Tony’s cock.  Bruce groaned and his hips stuttered as he tried to keep himself together but it was no good.  He arched his back and came, moaning as he released.
Thor and Clint pulled out and I rolled off Bruce.  I thought they were going to just change position, but Thor, Clint, and Tony just crowded around me, pumping their cocks.  I looked up at them, fuzzy and slightly euphoric.  I opened my mouth and squeezed my breasts together as I arched my back.  They seemed to be trying to time it so they all finished at once.  Each of them frantically pumping their cocks.
Clint finished first, moaning and letting his head drop back as he released in hot ribbons over my stomach.  Thor and Tony weren’t far behind.  Each jerking and releasing over me until I was painted with copious amounts of their hot mess.
As my breathing evened out and I started coming down from my orgasm high, I became aware that not only had the video stopped but the others were just watching us.
“See, Steve,” Tony said, putting the lube back and grabbing some wipes.  “I told you it was a good idea.”
“When you’re right, you’re right,” Steve agreed, taking one of the wipes and starting to help Tony clean me up.  “I have worked up quite the appetite now.  Is anyone else hungry?”
There was the noise of agreement and everyone started to get redressed.  “I say we order sushi and El can take a shower and when it gets here we eat it off her naked body,” Natasha said.  “That’s something we’d never do with the kids here?”
“Why me?” I protested.
“Well, you don’t mind getting messy obviously,” she teased.  “And it’s traditionally supposed to be a woman and Wanda and I have baby bumps and you don’t.”
“How will I eat?” I asked.  “And you know you’re not supposed to eat sushi right?”
“No,” she argued.  “Just no raw fish.  Wanda and I can eat the vegetarian ones or I’ll have the ones with cooked fish.  Plus, we’ll feed it to you.”
I chuckled and relented.  “Alright, I’ll do it.  But you owe me.”
“Don’t worry, mishka,” she teased. “I’m sure we can all work out ways to repay you.”
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// NEXT
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apenapaperandadoofus · 4 years ago
Note
RFA PLAYS AMONG US HCS
YES I LOVE THIS
And imma add the minor trio and Rika too!
RFA+minor trio+Rika playing among us:
Zen:
As crewmate: he’s pretty chill, his avatar is the white one with a halo (because he has an angelic face), his name is Zen with a little heart and he sticks with you and Jaehee most of the time. He does some of his tasks, to prove he’s innocent and then he’ll follow you and Jaehee around to sort of “protect” you. When an emergency meeting is called he is the one in the groups that talks and tries to find out who’s the impostor, along with some other people. He will say that you and Jaehee are innocent and he’ll defend you :)
As impostor: he gets caught immediately because he always kills Jumin first and then when an emergency meeting is called he’ll say “I’m sure he deserved it” or he’s just laughing evilly in the background. He will kill everyone except you and Jaehee! Another way of finding out if it’s him is that he will also kill whoever killed him last round just to get some revenge pft. But the more you all play, the better he gets and soon enough he’s fooling everyone around him (I mean he’s an actor, he can lie) so Zen is pretty good at being the impostor (but he doesn’t kill you or Jaehee so that’s another way of finding out it’s him lmao)
Yoosung:
As crewmate: He plays with the light green avatar, and he didn’t really have like an accessory until Seven hacked into his server and made Yoosung’s avatar wear the post it note that says ‘I’m dumb’ or something like that lmao (he also changes Yoosung’s name to baby Yoosung or something like that which makes Yoosung so freaking angry pft.) Anyway, since LOLOL is something that requires teamwork, he’s pretty good at it! He’s always doing his tasks and sticks to you or Seven. He is the one that gets killed first tho, on A L L O F T H E R O U N D S which makes him shout and scream (sometimes he will rage quit while Seven is just laughing his ass off.) Also if he isn’t killed by the impostor then he’s voted off pretty early lmao
As impostor: he’s an angry chihuahua out for vengeance. He normally gets caught in the 2-3 round. Also. He kills V first so thats how you know. He will literally just kill V and then he won’t do anything else, his purpose is complete (he might kill Seven if he feels like it tho.) its pretty easy to know when he’s the impostor lmao. Also he doesn’t know how to really lie and you can catch him pretty easily.
Jaehee:
As crewmate: she is so freaking perfect holy shit. She gets her tasks done super quick, and she’s the one that can actually guess correctly about who the impostor is. Her avatar is the orange one, and she doesn’t really have any accessories, her name is simply Jaehee. When she’s crewmate she’s super cooperative, and she’s just, the perfect player. She loves trying to figure out who the impostor is, and she’s the one that actually uses evidence to get someone voted off.
As impostor: dude. SHES PERFECT TOO PFT. She is literally one of the best impostors. No one is able to suspect it’s her, and she managed to get the group to vote off someone without seeming too suspicious. She also may or may not sometimes kill Jumin first, it mayyybe makes her a bit happy lmao. She will leave MC for last though, and she will follow MC all around the ship. She doesn’t usually kill a lot though, she mostly sabotages the ship and that’s how she wins.
Jumin:
As crewmate: MY BEAUTIFUL BABY AHHH.
So, his avatar is purple, and he has The cat head hat as his accessory. Seven hacked so his name would be Cat Mom. Alright so our baby actually gets killed first lol. If Yoosung doesn’t get killed, then it’s him. He also finishes his tasks quickly (once he learns how to really play, it does take him a while and he will need your help.) When he isn’t killed he’s also really good at finding out who the impostor is, using facts and logic. He’s a genius my babyyyy. I love him pft. Anyway, Jumin is really really good at finding the impostor which is why they also always kill him lmao. He will stick close to you no matter what.
As impostor: listen. The first time he played and got impostor, he immediately said in the chat: MC can you explain this to me? I can’t do the tasks, and it only lets me ‘vent’ and ‘sabotage’. Do you know what this means? Also why is my name in red?”
He shortest round ever lmao. But then, he’s super good,once he gets the hang of it. The only people he refuses killing is you and V. He’s super good at lying, no one can tell it’s him because he’s perfect at defending himself. Jumin kills and sabotages, he usually does a bit of both. If he has to kill someone like you or V,he will immediately apologize in the chat, and apologize for everyone he balmed or killed too lmao. But it’s so cute. Also Seven taught him that whenever a game finishes he has to say ‘gg ez’ and now he won’t stop saying it. ‘Mr. Han, we managed to sign the contract with Mr. Kim.’ Gg ez. He leaves the chatroom, he signs off with gg ez. ‘Jumin would you like your pancakes with sugar?’ Yes love, thank you. Gg ez. It won’t. Stop.
Saeyoung:
As crewmate: boi. This guy is just super chaotic. He will act like he’s the impostor to scare everyone. He will be following you to make you uneasy. He doesn’t really do the tasks, and mostly focuses on teasing Yoosung or Jumin. He’s also the reason Yoosung gets voted off pretty early lmao. He’ll call an emergency meeting the first 5 seconds of the game and say he just missed you all, and wanted to see your faces pft. Still, when he gets his head in the game (ooo get dat reference??) he’s super good. Sometimes he will play seriously, but it’s like, a 1/100 chance lol. His avatar is the red one, and his accessories will change every single round.
As impostor: He’s still chaotic lmao. As for his name...it’s green lmao. It’s mostly when he’s playing with other people though, but Jumin will always refer to everyone by their username, so he will say “I saw Green vent.” And then everyone will voye Yoosung lmao. He’s like CallmeKevin (his Among Us videos are amazing, rip to peepeepoopoo, 21, Big Chungus, and the rest.) Saeyoung is just a huge troll lmao. He will also kill in front of Yoosung and then proceed to say that Yoosung was the one who did it lol. Oh I really want to play with him lmao it’d be so fun to form a freaking alliance.
V:
As crewmate: he’s super cooperative. His avatar is the turquoise one, and his accessory is the snow crewmate (Seven hacked so V could have one pft.) V always does his tasks. He isn’t one to suspect people, and he’s always the one that reports the bodies. He believes that no one gets voted off unless you’re all 100% sure that the person is the impostor. V was the one that taught Jumin how to play and they mostly spend the whole game together. Also if someone kills him, he’ll be the one to apologize (LMAO I’m sorry, but it’s now a rule that V has to always apologize for something in my head canons, B U T you KNOW he would! This man will apologize for being born lmao -honey no please-)
As impostor: he will lowkey cry. Nah I’m joking lmao. He doesn’t kill everyone and mostly uses sabotage. He doesn’t really blame anyone either. He’s like...a pacifist impostor lol. He doesn’t like getting impostor that much, but he’s the one that gets it’s like three times in a row. There’s nothing else to say, because we all know that V ain’t doing shit as impostor lmao he’s a sweet baby that doesn’t want anyone to get hurt. He does sometimes kill accidentally, when someone suddenly appears close to him he will sometimes press the kill button (he always forgets it’s there) and ends up killing the person, then he’ll confess to everyone and apologize pft.
Saeran:
As crewmate/Impostor:
Ray: sweetest bean ever. Has the pink avatar and the little flower as accessory. He likes doing his tasks and will follow you around every where. He’s always super quick to blame Saeyoung though. As impostor he will always kill Saeyoung and V. He’s actually really good at lying, since he looks so sweet and innocent. He won’t kill you.
Suit: Black avatar, knife hat. He’s always suspicious. He won’t let anyone follow him. He doesn’t really do his tasks, and is not one to participate in the chat. He always laughs when someone gets killed. As impostor he always wins. He will kill everyone in a single round, no one really knows how he does it, but when he’s impostor the round is never long.
Unknown: he has the black avatar too, with the fedora cuz why not? He doesn’t really do his tasks, and mostly follows you around. Not to like, frighten you or anything, but he does like teasing you sometimes. He will not take part in the discussion most of the times, but sometimes he’ll just say: it’s zen... and BAM he’s right.
SE! Saeran: he has The pink avatar and the little crewmate pet. He likes doing tasks and walking around the ship. He also won’t really participate in discussions. He doesn’t really like getting impostor, and he will always win by sabotaging. It’s just...something about killing them (even though it’s a game) that makes him feel weird. Sometimes he will kill Saeyoung though, but it’s probs because he wants to get revenge for a prank or smth lmao.
GE! Saeran: he has either the pink or white avatar, with the flower hat or the snow crewmate. He always follows you around and is pretty good at doing tasks. He’s also a bit more active during discussions. When he’s impostor sometimes he will kill Saeyoung, but it’s in a more to tease his brother kind of way. He is pretty good at lying, but he will always tell you if he’s the impostor. He also won’t tell if you’re the impostor on a round too lmao,he’s just so cute and loyal.
Vanderwood:
As crewmate: first. How in the diddly darn fuck did you get him to play LMAOO. He got stuck with the a maid hat and dress that Seven made for him lol. He’s fine as a crewmate, and he is the one to vote people off mostly because of gut feeling. He can always catch Seven when he’s the impostor too lol, he’ll just call an emergency meeting five seconds into the game and type: ‘it’s seven’ and 80% of the time it is.
As impostor: the other 20% of the time he isn’t right about Seven is because Vanderwood is blaming him lmao. He’s a really sneaky impostor, he���s super good at using vents and great at killing people. He’s also one to win the rounds pretty quickly.
Rika:
As crewmate: she’s still sus lmao. Yoosung is always defending her though. Rika doesn’t really do her tasks, she doesn’t really do anything really. She follows you around, and will always say you’re innocent though. Her avatar is the yellow one with ram horns (don’t ask why, it’s the first thing that popped into my head lmao)
As impostor: ahhh she’s super good at manipulating and blaming others. She also frames V a lot lmao. She will kill everyone, no mercy at all. Saeran and Yoosung are always defending her, so she’s pretty good and hiding that she’s the impostor. During meetings she’ll stay quiet and mostly watch, but sometimes she will say something to stir the blame to someone, in such a...natural manner. She’ll just be perfect at shifting the blame without being suspicious. She’s really good at being impostor.
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laterzgators · 4 years ago
Text
How the gang would be like in modern times.
Kinda basing this off of texts I have with my friends because I get reminding everyday that my old friend group (kinda still my friend group.) are like the gang.
————
Ponyboy
He would have like an iPhone 6 in 2020. And he would be so upset about it. But he wouldn’t complain cause his brother didn’t have money for him to have an iPhone 11 or something.
He uses every platform to text. He probably only texts like Johnny and sometimes Dally.
Johnny and him would FT for hours and during them be like “look what I sent you.” And then proceeded to a meme.
Still a whiny baby boy but 2020 edition
Didn’t pay attention to politics cause he isn’t voting so he has no say. :/
Would probably watch anime- but like mainstream.
Has two instagram accounts one for public people he knew and a secret one to post what he wanted cause Darry probably looked into his phone-
Tries to show Darry how to use a smartphone. Darry won’t understand it. But he tried.
Track team until COVID hit 🙄
Hated virtual learning. HATED IT.
Especially when Darry didn’t have work that day he would peep into Soda and Pony’s room to see him on his desk on a call.
Pony putting his arm down shooing him away. “Darry...I’m in class please shh.” “Don’t worry bout me I’m just listening. Making sure these teachers actually are teaching ya.”
Somehow went brain dumb with this type of learning some days so when a teacher would ask him to answer something he would mute and turn off the camera or leave the call.
He was happy when he did know the answer a certain day.
• Having to text Johnny or Two bit to join a class cause the teacher was doing attendance.
Johnny
Texts Ponyboy and Dally pretty evenly. Though Pony would start being whiny when he didn’t answer. Johnny also probably had an older phone like an iPhone 6 or se maybe even an LG but he wouldn’t complain. He was just fine with having a phone. At least it worked.
Has a whole Instagram account about memes. Pony probably helps manage it.
Watches anime with Pony cause he finds it interesting. Does he understand what’s going on? No not at all but if Pony likes it then it’s okay.
Does really like Naruto though-
He hates school. It’s bad enough he skipped it most days. But now ITS AT HOME SO HE HAD NO EXCUSE TO NOT DO IT!
He would usually join the zoom calls but he kept his camera off and was on mute. His parents were probably arguing-
Some days he could be with Pony at his house and did his zooms from there.
Pony spamming him to join the class.
Pony: “Johnny Mr Fullb-“
Johnny: “I’m about to join just be patient pony.”
Dally sent him a nude once and he was SCARED. Dally used social media for that purpose but we will get more into that later-
He apologized a lot btw-
FT calls were fun cause he would put his phone in a certain position and do work and Pony being high on adrenaline would run around his room and you could see it on camera. It was funny.
Dallas
Where do I even start for this man....
TAKES FREAKING A MILLION NUDES LIKE IM NOT EVEN KIDDING ITS GROSS
Poor Johnny once got sent one on accident.
He is still traumatized
Virtual women and real women double bonus for him. He would text or dm one chick and be asking a girls number physically at the same time.
Mans gotta multitask-
Bully people on the internet.
Mainly pony for some reason. He did it playfully but Pony would get upset so quickly-
Pony.boy_curtis posted a picture. Caption: Read this poem at school and I’ve been vibing with it.
Comments: @Dal_winSton: Haha THATS dumb. (And more spam of him that includes 😀 that emoji.)
People would call him an eboy and he didn’t like that. He was just edgy in his own way.
Stole a iPhone 11 Pro so that’s how he has this phone.
GC with the whole gang existence and he was like “This is dumb we see eachother everyday.”
He was a weird teen-
Sodapop
My manz always texted Ponyboy when he was to lazy to speak.
Texted a lot of people cause he was that guy. But mainly Steve, Sandy (when they were still a thing.), Darry, and Pony.
His IG was filled with nice pics of him and girls just commenting about how handsome he was. He got annoyed of it at a point and turned off the comment section.
Probably had tiktok and made Pony get it.
Had a free subscription of Spotify and my boy loved his music.
Texting pony is like.: “Hey could you tell Darry that I got the eggs he needed earlier.” Pony never told him. Darry got home with a carton of eggs and started yelling that they wasted money on extra eggs. And Pony stood there after hours of finally looking at the text and would just back up.
Random girls dming asking if he was single.
It made him uncomfortable.
But Steve would grab his phone and say random things to the girls and they’d leave him alone.
He didn’t understand Pony’s memes but liked them cause they were on his page.
He or Darry probably asked later on what it meant.
“Uh-huh.” Is the response after Pony took an hour explaining it.
Still didn’t get it.
Followed every single person he knew or liked on Instagram or any platform.
“PONY CAN I USE YOUR HOTSPOT MY INTERNET ISNT WORKING!!!”
Pony just yelled back sure.
Darry
You thought Soda was bad nah Darry is a full on Karen-
Had probably had a flip phone until 2018
Loved Karen memes. Pony would see him liking them on fb and he’d just LAUGH.
Yelling at Pony to help him with his phone.
Pressed the wrong buttons all the time.
Probably had an LG-
DIDNT get texting 🤦‍♀️
Telling Pony not to talk to strangers on the internet.
Would have Rants on Facebook.
He pays for cable even though no one in that house used the Tv except him.
Would be so confused on the GC
“IF YOU ARE GONNA GO OUT WITH JOHNNY PUT ON YOUR MASK PONY!”
In the GC: Two Bit: Calm down Jamal dont pull out the nine.
Darry: Who is Jamal and what do you mean by pull out the nine??
Pony: PFT- CHILE I-
Darry: WAIT I SEARCHED IT UP IN THE GOOGLE DO NOT SAY INAPPROPRIATE THINGS IN THIS CHAT TWO BIT MATTHEWS!!!
It’s scary seeing him in our times-
Two Bit Matthews.
MEME LORD
All the memes all the jokes he understands it.
He is an intellectual.
Was barley passing school. He was usually on his phone in class.
He probably also had tiktok.
Dmed girls all the timeeee-
Hey good looking
You have been blocked by this user
WHA-
Yeah he didn’t realize girls didn’t like that
Had a whole page dedicated to memes because obviously.
DIDNT join virtual school at allllll
He was busy playing roblox like the cool kid he was.
He is legit a 9 year old-
Hated wearing masks but he did it.
Still hung out with Pony and the gang even with Corona.
He spammed the GC at like 4 a.m when he was super sleepy but still awake and asked all kinds of questions.
“If we call an orange orange can we call orange fruit?” Confusion.
He was something else-
Steve
Texted Soda during work.
Also texted Evie during work.
Google was his new best friend.
He used google a lot he just did.
Only had Instagram cause Sodapop begged.
He got used to it after a while.
Would get Ponyboy in trouble whenever he posted something that he knew could get him in trouble
Would post pictures of Darry doing random things and say “Superman” in the caption. LOL
Used LMAO a lottt for some reason
On the GC if someone was spamming he’d just say SHUT UP. Like a lot but he would.
He never wore his mask and if he did it was on his chin.
Pictures of chocolate cake.
That’s probably it lol.
——
That’s all. I hoped you liked it. Sorry I’m posting so late lol-
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friendshipstates · 3 years ago
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“Whale Shaped Crater” Quote Meme
(These are quotes from some of the campaigns run in my discord server without associated context. Feel free to use them as starters.)
"Why is that raven wearing those silly glasses?"
"I just got the chance to write the phrase 'Consult with the Monolith' in a serious context."
"Other magic fucks with my magic"
“Don’t do the thing or I’ll come in there!”
"All right, fine. In the spirit of family togetherness, I won't bring any guns rated for T-rexes."
'Alright. I'm going to take a nap. Wake me up when this fails”
"You probably broke something...besides his pride."
"This code needs to be purified, not electrified!"
"I could bullshit luck it and have magma magically appear."
"I can be TWO GODS?"
"Two votes for violence, one for science."
"I know my whole thing is cosmic bullshit, but this is some cosmic bullshit"
"Are things always this weird?”
"I have a dumb idea. Please let me do this."
“My time detector does not go 'ding' when there is stuff. It goes 'Awooga' when there's stuff. It goes 'ding' when we're fucked."
"All right, Boink the Minion."
"I missed because the floor is paper."
"To say this place kind of likes X is like saying losing a robot dog is kind of a bad motivation for a recurring villain.”
"Huh, would you look at that. It's an old school dinosaur laser fight!"
"Anyone who would wear a suit like that is a monster"
"The cheese is not aggressive"
"I just want it to be known, that for the entirety of that scene, I was channeling every conversation I never had with cute girls in art school. “
"Because Catapults Are Cool"
“I take back one-third of all the horrible things I said about you."
"Moose aren't predators...yet."
"Don't waste time with big words, it's fine!"
"I'm not going back into that cage. They didn't even pair the right cheese with the grapes."
"No need for a funeral. He's like a hot air balloon in a paintball field. You can't miss him."
"I didn't expect that to happen, but that was really funny. I'm going to do that again sometime. “
"The first thing you notice, besides that it's a moose on a DDR pad, is that the moose has perfect rhythm"
"I want to do something ironic and stupid, because that's how I operate around you guys."
"He's the concept of rubber hose animation given human form."
"I sense a disturbance in the grid."
“Let's not delude ourselves into thinking we have the moral high ground over her. Both she and we do incredibly wicked things. However, we can at least take pleasure in the fact that we do it more fashionably."
"Hey guys I'm back, the Moose made me a sweater"
"Why is arson always our first solution?"
"Having two braincells is just selfish"
"It looks like MC Escher and Salvador Dali got high together and collaborated on a sculpture."
"I spent all my braincells on the last joke. I got nothing.”
“Oh my god...Magic is the Science of Imagination!”
"Let's all go to the quarry..."
"This conversation can wait...again."
"Is there a particular reason you look like 'Rebecca Sugar Presents Scooby-Doo?'”
"You tempted Fate, and Fate agreed to your terms."
"There's a difference between a moose being a highly skilled artisan, and a moose being an aviator."
"Once magic got involved, everything went off the rails."
"The fight was 2-sided, but I was both sides"
"I left you alone for thirty seconds. Jesus Beyblading Christ."
"I said I had an idea, not a good idea"
"If Swedish meatballs are a universal constant, does that mean IKEA is too?"
"Ah, I remember when things made sense."
"Of course she's the most powerful person!  She looked at the soul of an ancient evil demon and said 'your name is Dancypants'!"
"All I have to say about this is that it's impressive, disturbing, and makes me uncomfortable.”
"I suspected you've been there, what with you celestial longevity, you sneaky bitch."
"You know, I've seen a lot of made up science in my time, but out of all the made up science I've seen, this makes the least sense."
"Wow, there's a name that feels like it has a punchable face attached to it."
"I wanted to do a violence!"
"The terrain is bees wielding hammers."
“Do not coddle the devourer of souls!”
“This plan calls for Finesse. Finesse and I are opposites.”
"If we're going to kill someone, we're going to embarrass them first."
"You're wearing a princess dress. That's like bringing a gun to a knife fight. Not that I'd know anything about that."
“Not to worry, all the stops are in the pipes, so nobody can hit random keys and free a ghost.”
"Yeah, but then I'd have to learn the banjo, and only really sad people learn the banjo"
“The forces of Fate could be color-blind.”
"Well if this not the time, then there is no time. And since that is not true, now is the time to yeet siblings!"
"It has a distinct squirrel-like property"
"So she's wielding this big glass claymore in one hand, and has this glowing apple shield in the other.”
"We're all on the same page, but in different books, and different libraries."
"There's a significant distinction between baking soda, bacon, and bourbon."
"I'm going to electrocute the giant magical rose."
"Everything I've learned about JoJo, I've learned against my will."
"You look familiar, have I been your sleep paralysis demon before?"
"The bar isn't the floor, but it is limbo."
"Yes, I'm always on my bullshit. This is my normal bullshit, not my once-in-a-lifetime bullshit."
"The way to play Jai Alai is to whip it, whip it good."
"We accidentally Worf'd the Starscream"
"One god damn braincell in this team, and the holder can't even use it."
"That's a false herring."
"My brain was like an overheliumed balloon on the saddest string."
"So you take three points of pumpkin spice damage.”
"Bold words for someone so flammable."
"He's rather confident for someone who hasn't won once.”
"Gravity's already been reversed, there are birds..."
“He has Implausible Deniability”
"The other side of the fourth wall has bagpipes."
"This motherfucker is the biggest motherfucker in the history of motherfucker."
"We can unionize next week!"
"That's some literature math. Pippi Longstocking + Egyptian Mythology = Captain Hook"
"We kind of run on wonder, whimsy and violence"
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adultswim2021 · 3 years ago
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Space Ghost Coast to Coast #87: “Dreams” | January 11, 2004 - 11:30 PM | S08E06
There is no doubt in my mind that Space Ghost is one of the most underappreciated comedy series of all time. For a show that is so screamingly hilarious, it sure is ignored. Hell, the creators of Space Ghost don’t even appreciate the goddamn thing. It makes it all the more special for those of us who love it. This episode of television, which I regard as a comedy masterpiece, sits on IMDB with 35 votes total. Not only is this an exceptional episode of Space Ghost, it also happens to *sorta* be the series finale, and it’s also the single-most profane episode of Space Ghost in existence. It deserves your respect, goddamn it.
In this one, Space Ghost cobbles together a charity organization for the sole purpose of one-upping Zorak and Moltar. He demands an animal be booked as his guest in order to elect it as the org’s cute mascot. Space Ghost winds up with Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog.
For those of you who require context: Triumph is an intentionally cheesy dog puppet with a vaguely ethnic accent who makes old-school but also very profane roast-style jokes at his various targets. He was an intentionally one-note character featured on Late Night with Conan O’Brien. Triumph developed enough of a cult following that he wound up recurring pretty regularly. Most notably on Conan he got kicked out of the Westminster Dog Show for humping some of the dogs and generally being a nuisance. My favorite remote he did was where he made fun of nerds waiting in line to see Star Wars Episode II.
In 2003 Triumph released an album which came with a DVD which featured a cameo from Conan O’Brien saying the c-word (cunt) and the recently disgraced Horatio Sanz deep-throating a dildo. That, presumably, is why Triumph is on this show: to promote this album. He keeps trying to steer the conversation to “get to the plug”, and referring to his “beautiful singing voice” There’s a small number of Space Ghost guests who show up genuinely believing that they’ll be allowed to plug their project and that the episode will air in a timely manner. Like Adam West or Fred Willard, this is in fact one of those.
What makes this episode so goddamn funny is that there’s an undercurrent of the Space Ghost staff aggressively trying to undercut Triumph’s shtick. Triumph is almost always the most outrageous character in any given room, and people almost always have a hard time contending with the barrage of fast-paced/profane insults that Triumph supplies. The editing may have had a hand in this, but here we see Triumph doing roughly what he does, but Space Ghost is too boneheaded to really let it effect him. Space Ghost, true to form, misunderstands almost everything Triumph says, taking it at face value. When it finally dawns on him that Triumph is breaking taboos he is briefly shocked. But when Zorak lies and tells him that “money came in” from Triumph’s transgressions he is suddenly motivated to childishly repeat Triumph’s vulgarity.
When Moltar tries to put his foot down he casually breaks an actual network taboo: he says “they will shut us down for that shit. I mean stuff.” completely unbleeped. Not sure what the status of “shit” is on adult swim these days, but in 2004 I don’t think Adult Swim was technically considered it’s own network yet (I’m hazy on the details here, but there was a turning point where Adult Swim ceased to be programming that simply aired on Cartoon Network and was actually registered legally as a network unto itself that shared space with Cartoon Network). So, allowing shit to play on what was still legally considered a children’s network was a pretty big deal. I don’t even think Turner allowed swears that harsh to appear on Adult Swim’s website.
The show escalates beautifully and ends with a song about “retardos”, while Space Ghost inexplicably holds up a Dexter’s Laboratory branded foam finger, a detail I’ve never noticed until this viewing. It is breathtakingly dumb. I love this episode so much.
There are a lot of great lines in this that I’m intentionally leaving out. The length of this write-up might lead you to believe I’ve revealed the entire episode. I haven’t! There’s so many great jokes in this. This begins what I like to think of as the finale trilogy. There are two more quasi-episodes of Space Ghost coming up (not counting the GameTap episodes because they suck or The Room interstitials because that’s so far out from the series true end that it’s practically a reunion special). One is an abandoned episode they aired in an unfinished state. Then comes the tenth anniversary bumpers the Sunday after Space Ghost’s big birthday. But I’ll talk more about that when the time comes. Okay? Alright? Damn!
I forgot to say this earlier so I’m just tacking it on here: my wife and I literally quoted this episode in our wedding vows. It was the “You will lick my shiny boots, for you are now my dog on a leash.” line. This isn’t a joke.
MAIL BAG
Here’s more FUCKING FUCKS writing me dumb shit and wasting my valuable time. Damn. Dang it!
I'm in a minority here but while I loved Home Movies I think it diminished by the time Season 4 rolled around that I think it's straight up overall bad. So much so that I feel you can tack on the camera drop ending to any of the other season finales and have a better show. I don't know why exactly. Is it because H. Jon Benjamin has a writing credit for this one and McGurk is wackier than ever? Did Brendon Small just run out of childhood experiences to mine from? I dislike it.
Huh I wouldn’t go that far OBVIOUSLY. So far I’ve liked a hundo percento of Season 4 even though it’s just two episodes. haha “Aw, who’m I tryinta fool? it’s just two episodes.”
I like the Sonic Guys. Their keen sense to pinpoint the exact craveability of every new Sonic item as well as their overall familiarity and comradery leave the viewer ready for fun and ready for fun: the Sonic way. And if you don't like that, buddy, then you are an Adbusters Stooge.
More like “ready for run” because I would use my feet to get away from their tires, because they’re tired!!!
Do you think the Sonic Guy ever dry over to Popeyes when the cameras aren't rolling. What do you think they would get. If I were them I would get the chicken: it's tender, it's juicy, it has cajun seasonings.
I think they would go there and say stupid cutesy shit like “extra chicken please :D :p” and a teenager would call them n*88*s and they’d commit suicide that night. But what a way to go
Don't give up on ephemera week!, The blog was super fun last week. And it's just a nice way to end the blog after a year of spankworthy stuff. It will be less special if you just pepper them in now and then. How many venmo bucks would I have to pay for you to keep it that way?
What a swanky message to get. I do think Ephemera week will be pretty hard from here on out because 2004 is about where I ended my initial research for this blog and the prospect of doing more of that to give a fairly complete overview of each year would just be too much. I’d much rather just slide it in. You’ll love seeing me slide.
What are your big wishes for 2004?
what the fuck am I supposed to do here? Wish for something to happen in a year that already happened? Do I get to transport myself back there and do this wish all the way back then? Or do I simply feel the butterfly effect of it having had happen in 2004. What the fuck kinda fucked up shit is this anyway.
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cheseyre · 4 years ago
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good news, sluts! my brain's no longer being completely stupid (only mostly), i've seen the new asides and...have some thought-y thot thoughts:
*deep inhale*
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Okay, first things first: this art style is soooo fucking cUTE and I'm a jealous, squealing bitch. Anyone who knows who the artist is, could you link me to them, stat? I think Thomas mentioned them at the beginning of the ep, but nYeh, brain hurt, doesn't wanna do wooork-
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Okay, I'll admit, I was a little...apprehensive when I first saw the thumbnail and title. Part of it's just me being a bitter Remus Stan, but also...okay, deep breaths, controversial opinion time, get ready:
I don't ship Prinxiety.
Like, at all. 
I can see the appeal, and these dorks were so very, VERY cute in this particular ep, but I was honestly turned off by the ship long ago due to how overwhelmingly popular it is and how some fans characterize these two and treat this relationship as if it's the only valid one, y'know, the works—slight tangent, but that's also why I don't ship Logicality or Remile. I honestly vibe much better with ships like Roceit or Analogical, y'know?
Cutting in for another brief tangent: I'm surprisingly okay with Demus/Dukeceit/Receit/Trashnoodle/Whatever-Their-Ship-Name-Is-Oh-God-Why-Do-They-Have-So-Many-Fucking-Names; maybe it's cause they haven't actually interacted in canon and the fan content gives me such good Gay Disney Villain content, idk man im weird—).
Still, their interactions were both hilarious and sweet and like I said, I see the appeal, it's just not my cup of tea. y'all Prinxiety fans got fucking FED and I'm happy for you nerds. Enjoy ze happy boys!
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I guess another factor in my...low-key hesitance when I first saw what the ep was about is that...okay, get ready, another controversial opinion, le gasp: well, I'm not a big Virgil fan. In fact, at times, he swaps places with Patton as my least favorite sides—especially with some of his recent behavior in eps like DWIT (the "prohibit your breathing comment" really triggered me, for example). Sometimes, his attitude, especially around other sides like Roman or Janus, reminds me a little too much of my sister, who I don't have...a very good relationship with. Add to that how the more...intense side of the fandom has a disturbing tendency to turn him into the 'uwu precious woobie emo baby who can do no wrong' while unnecessarily villainizing other CERTAIN sides in the process, and...I think you all see where I'm going with this little rant 😅
However, upon actually watching the ep, he wasn't...that bad? I don't think? I enjoyed watching him be a flustered, disaster-y mess and genuinely excited at the end, his interactions with Roman were nice enough, and him literally pushing Thomas to make a move with Nico despite his obvious panic attack was a nice moment of genuine character development. I like seeing that, that's the good shit right there. And him being all flustered and shit, and smiling so much at the end of the vid was just...well, adorable. This man has no fucking right to be this cute, my god
alsoooo 
pURPLE EYESHADOW
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PURPLE EYESHADOW HE LOOKS?? SO GOOD?? WTF?? SLAY EMO, SLAAAAAAAY FUCK, DOES THIS MEAN I HAVE TO CHANGE MY HALLOWEEN COSTUME NOW?
alsoooo 
hAPPY ROMAN
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YESSSSS~ MAH BOI MAH SON MAH DUMB BITCH HIMBO PRINCE MAH EXTRA MESSY CINNAMON ROLL
ITS  BEEN SO  LONG
AND HIS LITTLE HEART EYES THROUGHOUT THE VID, OH MY GOD-
IMMA JUST IGNORE THAT "ADDING [MISTAKE] TO THE LIST" COMMENT I AM LOOKING AWAY I DO NOT SEE IT LALALALALA
THOMATHY, SIR, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT MAKING THESE TWO GAY IDIOTS SO BAEBY
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Okay, but Virgil not realizing that "cyberstalking in real life" is literally just stalking is both a big ass mood and further proof that, yes, Logan is indeed the only one holding the braincell out of this disaster of a lot. God help them all if he ducks out in the next ep.
👀
And Thomas x Trash Can is my new OTP.  I dub thee ✨ "Trashmas" ✨
we sTAN TRASHMAS
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Wait, does that mean Remus actually WAS in the ep? Cause, y'know, trash man?
hmmm
👀 👀 
Okay, okay. 
With how much Virgil and Roman were going off about Thomas constantly lying, I was (understandably) a tad bit disappointed my snek son didn't even make a fucking cameo, but y'know what? In hindsight, I'm okay with this it's fineee~
He was just off playing with shadow puppets and stealing money from us desperate, content-starved peasants with his sheer extra-ness and, honestly? Gotta respect the hustle. 
Get that precious, precious coin, dapper snake! Wring us poor losers dryyyy!
*evil snek laugh*
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Also, this is a breather ep and adding Janus in probably would've caused unnecessary drama with the Roceit breakup and the constant antagonism between Virgil and him. It probably would've distracted from the point of the ep (flirting with social anxiety, exactly what it says in the tin)—much like it wasn't really Virgil or Remus's place to show up during POF. Does that make sense? I think it makes sense. Sorry, brain going brr-
Still, I can't believe the "Fuck Janus Sanders" Club is actually canon now 😂
God, first Patton in a skirt and now this. 
Thomas Sanders, you delight in fucking feEDING this gremlin nest of a fanbase, don’t you? You RELISH our screams of joy and pain and suffering, dON’T YOU?
What's next, actual canonical Janus and Remus interaction? Patton saying the fuck word? The Dragon Witch comes back? Janus's bowler hat gains sentience and takes over the world, Doris-style? What do you have planned, Thomas? Joan? WHAT ART THOU PLANNING, I MUST KNOW YOU HEATHENS YOU FIENDS-
And Virgil's little "would it be fair to him" comment, tho.
👀
Like, I get in the context of the ep, he was likely talking about Nico and how it wouldn’t be good for a potential relationship with Tomas to be founded on lies, but still...my anxceit heart aches, man. 
Gimme that sweet, sweet angst with a side of mutual regret and possible future reconciliation and maybe something more wink wink nudge nudge on top, pls
...and fries.
Honestly, tho, that entire bathroom monologue was fucking beautiful, man. And relatable, too—i can't tell you how many times I've talked to myself in public restrooms because I just didn't know how to get the words I wanted to say out. It's...kind of embarrassing, tbh
Speaking of embarrassing, uh, crying stall guy.
Just...
Crying Stall Guy
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Like, I was expecting someone to come out the bathroom stall after Thomas stopped talking, but...I honestly wasn't expecting that. God, that whole scene was so cringe worthy and fucking hilarious
Honestly, Thomas in the ep in general was a huge ass mOOD and we collective gay/bi disasters ALL related with him, and if you say you don't, you're either lying to yourself or a demon. 
There is no in between 
sorry I don't make the rules
Like, I get this series is literally a gay disaster talking to himself for thirty minutes or longer, but like- EMPHASIS on the 'disaster' part 😂
Like...Thomas, you're lucky you're such a goddamn bean, because GOD, I cringing so hard when he first started talking to Nico
Although, I too have apologized profusely for genuine mistakes and am a flustered bi mess around my crush sooo
😅
And god, Roman's "thirty = old man" jokes made me feel old...and I literally just turned twenty, like, come on, man!
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Maybe that's because I was literally watching this ep after finishing my ACT and had been sitting with a bunch of high schoolers, with their tiny fucking desks and tiny fucking water fountains smeh
*clears throat*
Anyways, uh, we STAN Nico Pintrovert Florés in this house
Like
He gives me such big Carlos from WTNV vibes for some reason and this makes me sooo happy
and YESS, he's a WRITER
And he's??? So sweet?? A pure bean?? Just sits on his laptop at the mall food court all day, like a god-fucking iCON?? A Nightmare Before Christmas fan?? weARS GLASSES??
my hEART
*cries*
The fandom seems torn between "Nicomas" and "Karrot Kings" as a ship name atm—personally speaking, I'm casting my vote for the latter
*crosses fingers* please dont be another janus x remus multiple ship name issue guys, please please please I can't keep track of them all-
*clears throat*
On that note, I'm guess I'm gonna go try and whoo over my crush with carrots now. If THIS disaster can do it and make it actually fucking work, god damnit, so cAN I
Meanwhile, in hell, my brain's just screaming "CANON LOVE INTEREST CANON LOVE INTEREST CANON LOVE INTEREST-"
God, I hope Nico isn't just a one-shot character, he's too pure and Thomas and him are adorable gay Disney fans and I stan
Oh, I wonder how the other sides'll react to him.
Wait.
Oh god.
Oh god.
This ep just unleashed a new fresh hell of potential Nico x Sides ships, hasn't it?
Welp, time to prepare for ze incoming flood of fanfics, I guess. I'll get my umbrella and rain boots.
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That last shot of Virgil during the endcard was so fucking ominous oh my god mom im scared can you come pick me up-
Goddammit, Thomas and Joan, I'm NOT fucking ready to be traumatized again, fUCK
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I wish I wasn't a broke ass university student so I could contribute to Thomas's gloriously extra Patreon—both so I can support my favorite content creators who make this amazing blessed content and also, to join my boi Janus in fucking  destroying society by giving money to the people who actually deserve it, fuck YOU GOVERNMENT-
Okay. 
Okay. 
New headcanon time as to why Patton, Remus, and Logan weren't in the ep: they were helping Jan film that Patreon promotional video. 
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Like
Remus directed it, Logan helped with the lighting and script, and Patton was just there as the cheerleader. 
The reason Janus made a dog with shadow puppets wasn't just to flaunt his deity status and prove how he is truly above us mere wretched mortals 
despite that being the absolute truth and we all know it, don't lie to yourselves
No, it was really him trying to do something cute and silly for Patton, because Moceit rights, daMMIT
*inhales*
noww 
guys, gals, and nonbinary pals
it’s time forr
the most wonderful time of the yearrr
WAITING FOR THE NEXT EPISODE
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Step right up, folks! Hear ye, hear ye, my prediction for the next episode: Prinxiety v. Moceit! With special guest stars: Karrot Kings vibing in adorable gay and Intrulogical, bitter at being excluded aGAIN
Who will win? Who will lose? 
here’s a hint: we all will because in this sick twisted game they are no winners only losers-
Place your bets, folks! ✨
Haha im not readyyy~
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tl;dr
this episode has cleared my skin, watered my crops, and ended my suffering—an adorable calm before the... angsty fucking shitstorm that’s coming far too soon. Prinxiety stans, enjoy your food. Place an 'F' in the chat for me and my fellow grieving Remus stans. Trashmas is the true OTP, but Karrot Kings is cute too I guess. I've only had Nico Florés for 24 minutes, but if anything happens to him, I'll kill everyone in this room and then myself. Purple eyeshadow Virgil makes me question my sexuality aGAIN, and happy gay disney prince rights y'all. Say a big ole 'fuck you' to capitalism by giving your local dapper snake moneys. Concussion makes brain go brr and imma go buy some carrots and be gay now.
psst hey @quarantinevibes2020​ you wanna join me in being disaster-y? i’ll bring my best gay stare and you bring the wine
Until next time, my lovelies! ~ Ches 🖤
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tac-confessions · 4 years ago
Note
Hi, I'm Hawkii, one of the few curators of the team of bga. I have a few things I wanna say. And one of those is an apology. I've recently stepped down for the second time. I've been selfish, and not taking my actions seriously. Some things said here is a bit sensitive and may be triggering I just want to say what's been going on, what I've done, and why I'm not a good person at all. My health has not been the best, mentally and physically. I'm not gonna be on much in the amino. I don't like getting into what Ive done but I do need to apologise because as someone who is special to many people in the community I see it I have to be responsible, and that I need to carry on with this. I can't hide or play victim, I'm turning 18 in a couple of months from now and I know that many young people see me as a inspiration and that I can do no wrong. Just because I'm a "great" artist, that I too can make poor decisions and mistakes.
About few months ago(not too long ago, just about 4-2 months ago as I remember it) on warriors amino(big one) that I stumbled across a post meaning to talk about the political votes and I wanted to express why the team would of probably not wanted it to be talked about way too often especially in a public post. I've said some things pretty dumb of me, it was 3am and I really wasn't thinking and wording at the time wasnt the best for me. Even so, when I'm really tired I know not to speak about things because ik I'll always get myself into trouble. Now politics is a big issue, human rights is an issue, and so much more is a big issue. I never meant to say it was an opinion. But there are people who are ignorant and will be biased on these issues, that's what I meant. Because there's always that one person who would want to argue or be trolly and get everyone pissed off. what I was trying to express is that it makes some people uncomfortable, and to know what the two old men who are running for president has done in the past is really disgusting. Trump and biden are completely not the best people, and are truly disgusting people. But I see it as that the best choice would have to be biden. Even so, not what I'm talking about here. What I was trying to say here wasn't what I said in the comment, and I apologise for what I done.. it's really embarrassing and even for someone who is in a big community it's my responsibility to come forth with my own actions.
I also want to apologise, for something else. My mental health and physical health is really frustrating me rn. I have a niece, and I was forced out of my own room so my brother and his wife can take it over with their child. My brother has done a lot of things to me in the past that I can never forget, and I don't even want to talk about it. With the hate leading towards the staff team in the bga, I was scared that if I did something wrong that sooner or later it would be on me and I can't take that hate right now because I have no where to put my anger on. My depression has been getting worse the past few months to the point I'll pass out because I wouldn't eat. I wouldn't talk to anyone what was going on with me because I thought it would feel like attention seeking, that no one would understand me, and much more. I'm getting sick, and it's not healthy for me and anyone that I'd choose to stay a curator.. I see it with the following I have that many young people look up to me as an inspiration, a friend, and a family and I definitely don't want to let anyone in the community down. I brought it here because this shouldn't be on a platform for children to see and they don't deserve to see what I truly am.
I can be selfish, manipulative, and so much more and I hate myself for it. I never won't to put someone in a situation that I'll make them responsible for my mental health Because at the end of the day. It's my fault on why I'm here now, I really want to apologise that when I first left the team that I came back only to do nothing to help at all. No one talked about it of course, or mentioned it, but I've seen the person I become and knew that I was incapable of being apart of the team. All I seemed to do was just join public chats and make jokes, and do nothing at all to help with the team. Wether you all choose to hate me or not for the kind of person I turned out, I still need to apologise.
I love you all, and I must thank you for reading this. I do hope to come back as a changed person and not be as sad as I am right now. You guys have helped me a lot and I feel sad that I didn't thank you all for being there. I know some people here will likely forgive me, but please. Even if I came out about it, my actions still can't go unpunished which is why I stepped down. No one demoted me and no one is to blame for my own actions but me.
Thank you for reading this, and I love you. If you need anything or want to tell me anything I'm still on the amino app, I won't post a lot or message instantly. But I will get there when I can💕
Btw I still don't know how to work tumblr-
ilysm hawkii
It was very brave of you to dip into some of these topics and come out and tell us instead of holding it all in to yourself. If you ever need someone to talk to, shoot me a text on amino or discord (Bex#4615)
- Mod V
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artificialqueens · 4 years ago
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Tree House Kisses, Chapter 27 (Adorney) - Scorpio and Veronica
A/N: Click here for previous chapters. xoxo!
Chapter Summary: Just another day at the beach...
Chapter 27: Small Doses
“Aaaaaugh!” Laganja shrieked, running from Thorgy into the crashing waves.
“Who wants a sandwich?”
“Darienne, I love you, you’re such a mom,” Courtney giggled, hugging the older girl around the shoulders.
“So...Adore…” Bob began, grabbing a sandwich from the cooler.
“Yes?”
“Tell us all the hot gossip about those girls you chill with!”
April hit Bob on the shoulder. “Can you please not be gross?”
“I’m not being gross! I’m just showing an interest in my friend’s life!” Bob said, eyes shining mischievously. “I mean, I heard you broke up with Raja. Does that mean you’re hooking up with Violet again? She’s super hot, I wouldn’t blame you. Or Pearl? Pearl’s sexy. And she’s like, down the block. Convenient.”
Roy shook his head. “Bob, keep up, dude. Violet and Pearl are totally a thing. They flirt like crazy all the time.”
“I thought Pearl was with that pretty wardrobe girl, Shea,” Darienne said.
“Oh yeah,” Roy said.
“And anyway, isn’t Violet like, openly crushing on Fame? Willam said that she used to send her boyfriend all these anonymous threatening notes until Fame caught wind of it and made her stop.” Bob laughed. “Violet is kind of rad. Terrifying, but rad.”
Adore looked at Courtney. “Why do they know so much about my friends? This is fucking creepy.”
Courtney shook her head. “I have no idea.”
“Because, Adore, your little group is full of drama, and people gossip,” Roy explained, taking on that patronizing tone that made Adore’s skin crawl.
“Oh, really?” Adore asked. “Drama, like how you threatened to release the texts between Darienne and Jamin from last year if she ran against you for ASB president?”
Roy grinned, flashing his dimples. “That’s not drama. That’s blackmail.”
“Nice, Roy. Such a stand-up guy.”
“Hey, come on. It was for both our benefit. We know all the same people. We would have split votes and both lost. This way, she’s vice and I’m gonna support her for homecoming queen. Right, Dar?”
Darienne held up her middle finger. “Too soon.”
Bob laughed. “Tell him, girl.”
“Babe, let’s go in the water,” Roy said, resting his chin on Courtney’s shoulder.
“I dunno…” Courtney looked at Adore.
“Please, come on…” he whined, wrapping his arms around her waist.
“You should go,” Adore said.
Courtney still hesitated as Roy kissed her shoulder, whimpering. “I don’t have to. I haven’t even eaten anything yet-”
“I’ll save you a sandwich. Nobody wants the veggie ones anyway,” Adore said with a laugh. “Go.”
Courtney bit her lip. “Okay.” She turned to Roy, letting him help her up, following him into the water, then laughing as he picked her up and raced into the freezing cold ocean.
“What was that about?” Darienne asked quietly, burying her feet into the warm sand. She looked at Adore with a curious expression.
Adore looked away, squinting into the bright sun.
“Ummm...I dunno. I guess, sometimes I feel like a third wheel around them. I made Courtney promise that she wasn’t gonna be all over him all day, since...you know, she’s the only one here who really wants me around.”
“That’s not true.”
“Well, you know what I mean.”
Darienne watched Roy and Courtney in the water for a few moments, then said, “Let me tell you something, Adore. You know...it’s really easy, right now, for everything to feel like forever. The ocean. Courtney and Roy. High School. This fuckin’ day...But you know, nothing in life lasts forever. So, just remember that. All we have are moments.” She held a handful of sand, letting it slide through her fingers. “Lots and lots of moments. If we’re lucky.”
“That was really deep.”
“Well, I’m really deep.”
“And cheesy as fuck.”
“That too,” Darienne laughed.
Adore smiled, leaning a head on Darienne’s shoulder. “Thanks.”
“And for the record. Courtney isn’t the only one here who wants you around. I love you, and I always have, but if you’re more interested in hanging out with your other friends right now, I get that. It doesn’t mean that I don’t care about you.”
“Alright, alright…”
“Sorry, but you know I can’t let that one slide,” the redhead said, grinning at her.
Adore laughed. “I’m sorry too. Mostly I just feel dumb around you guys.”
“You feel dumb around Gia?”
Adore burst out laughing. “Maybe not Gia. But the rest of you are smarty pants and you know it.”
“Good grades are not always a sign of intelligence,” Darienne said. “You’re smart. You’re just not a school person.”
“Understatement,” Adore laughed.
“Yeah, well, I have to tell you, I’m not worried. You’re extremely talented, and beautiful, and charming, and like...you’re gonna do amazing things.”
“Are you hitting on me?”
Darienne burst out laughing. “Yes. Is it working?”
“Kind of…” Adore giggled, fluttering her lashes.
-
Courtney and Roy emerged from the water, bickering.
“Omigod, stop it!” Courtney exclaimed.
“Hey guys, did you know that Courtney is Jewish now?”
“Mazel tov!” Jamin exclaimed. “Welcome to the tribe!”
“That is not what I said,” Courtney laughed. “My mom’s boyfriend Slate took us to this Kabbalah Center and it was just cool, that’s all.”
“Slate. He sounds really smart,” Roy joked.
“At least her boyfriend cares about the universe. My dad is still shacking up with that whore, Katya. She’s like, the actual fucking worst,” Courtney grumbled, flopping onto the blanket beside Adore.
“Baby, if you want to get spiritual, you should come to my church. You can watch me carry candles and swing incense around.”
Courtney looked at him with an incredulous expression. “Roy. I’m not like, trying to judge you or anything, but I’m not going to support the Catholic Church.”
“What? Why not?”
“Uhhh, I don’t know, how about how the like, basically approved of the slave trade and looked the other way during the holocaust-”
“Hey, a lot of nuns and priests helped people during the--”
“Covering up child sex abuse!” Courtney shrieked. “Come on!”
“Homophobia? Sexism?” Adore piped in.
“Yeah, exactly!” Courtney agreed emphatically. “You’re siding with arguably one of the biggest oppressors in history.”
“I…”
“But keep on swinging that incense, Dimples,” Adore added, punching Roy on the shoulder.
“Damn.” Roy scratched his head. “But how do you really feel?”
Courtney laughed. “The...candles are nice?”
Roy reached for Courtney, pulling her against him. “So I guess we’re not having a church wedding?”
“Definitely not.” She squirmed a little, trying to move back towards Adore.
“And the kids aren’t getting baptized?” he murmured against her neck, fingers trailing up her bare thighs
“Roy, come on, stop it.”
“What’s the matter? I’m giving up eternal salvation for you, you should be very proud of yourself right now.” He tilted her chin up, leaning in for a kiss.
Courtney wriggled out of his arms, rolling her eyes at Adore. “I said stop it!”
He scoffed. “Fine.”
“Oh, now you’re gonna pout like a baby,” she said.
“I’m not pouting.”
“Are too.”
“So, you don’t want me to touch you, but you want to control how I react when you push me away?”
“Ughhhh,” Courtney rolled her eyes again, flopping onto her stomach. “Nevermind.”
“Sorry for wanting to spend time with you,” Roy said testily.
Courtney glared up at him, slipping her sunglasses on.
Adore rolled her eyes and stood up, brushing off her jean shorts, announcing to no one in particular. “I’ll be right back, gonna go to the bathroom.”
“Dory, wait!” Courtney jumped up and followed her. “I need to go too.”
-
Adore stood at the sink, rinsing her hands. “So. Does Roy always talk about marriage and babies, or does he just save that for when you have an audience?”
Courtney came out of her stall, shaking her head. “I have no idea where that came from. So weird, right?” She washed her hands in the sink beside Adore.
“It was...interesting.”
“Ugh, and I hate the way he manhandles me all the time.” Courtney dried her hands and rolled her eyes, twirling her hair.
Adore scoffed. “Since when?”
“I just mean, like…” Courtney leaned against Adore’s arm, playing with her hair. “It’s just...constant. He acts like he owns me.”
“Bullshit!” Adore exclaimed, shoving Courtney away, startling her. “Anyone with eyes and half a brain can see who owns who in that relationship. Roy may not be my favorite person in the world, but he’d take a fucking bullet for you and you know it!”
“I just meant-”
“So if you don’t want him to touch you, fucking tell him! Or break up with him! I don’t really give a fuck, but don’t tell me that he thinks he owns you, because that’s utter fucking nonsense!”
“Why are you yelling at me?”
“Because! You’re making me defend your fucking boyfriend!” Adore crossed her arms.
“Sorry.”
“You should be.”
Courtney hung her head, pouting her lip. “Do you hate me?”
“Yes.”
She looked up at Adore through a fringe of lashes, blinking her big eyes sadly, until Adore stuck her tongue out childishly. Then she grinned, wrapping her arms around Adore’s waist and leaning in slowly to kiss her.
Adore’s heart pounded. For a moment, she considered letting it happen, but then memories flashed through her head, and the thought of another “just friends” kiss was just too much to handle. So at the last second, she turned her face, letting Courtney’s lips land on her cheek.
“Don’t,” she whispered into Courtney’s hair.
“Don’t hate me,” Courtney whispered back, fingers digging into her back.
“Too late,” Adore said, holding her stern expression for a few seconds before breaking into a smile, giving Courtney a light smack on the ass. “You’re hopeless.”
“I know.” Courtney bit her lip. “Hey, Dory?”
“Yeah.”
“You don’t really think I ignore you when I’m around Roy…do you?”
“Um…” Adore considered her answer. She did often feel like a third wheel around them, even in a crowd. Things had just unquestionably shifted ever since they’d gotten together. It used to be Courtney and Adore, the two of them, all the time. People said their names together as if it was one word. Courtneyandadore. All the others: their neighbors, their other friends, even their families, were just roaming around the periphery. But when Courtney and Roy hooked up, suddenly she had another person, another pair to be part of. Adore knew that Courtney loved her, and that she probably felt like their friendship hadn’t changed at all--because for her, it hadn’t. So how was Adore supposed to explain the way she felt without revealing her humiliating jealousy? Finally, she settled on, “No…not on purpose.”
“I don’t ever want you to feel like-“ Courtney’s voice broke, and then she swallowed. “You know you’re my favorite person, right?”
“You mean one of your favorites-“
“No. My favorite.”
“Court…” Adore’s head swam, suddenly self-conscious. This moment was way too much for a filthy, disgusting public bathroom on the beach. “Someone could’ve heard you.”
“I don’t care.” Courtney’s eyes burned, and Adore had to look away.
It was only after a few moments of charged silence that she quietly admitted, “Me too,” still avoiding direct eye contact.  
Arms circled her waist, hugging her tightly, face buried in her neck. Adore allowed herself to relax, enjoying it, telling herself that it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter that Courtney had a serious boyfriend, that she felt things for him that she’d never feel for Adore. Because her position as best friend was even more important. It was immature and she knew it, this reassurance she needed that she was number one. And honestly, it shouldn’t matter. There was plenty of room in Courtney’s life, and her heart, for both of them. Adore should be happy that her best friend was with someone great, someone kind and funny, who loved her and treated her well and tried so hard to make her happy. Adore suddenly felt a little guilty about potentially causing a problem between the two of them.  
“You’re not actually mad at him, are you?”
“No, not really,” Courtney said. “I just…didn’t want to break my promise to you.”
“Well, I think we can safely say that you kept your promise,” Adore laughed. “Now come on, let’s go back before they think you fell in.”
“Ughhh, nooooo!”
“Bitch, they’re your friends! And our ride back.”
Courtney giggled and nuzzled her shoulder. “Let’s hitchhike. Summer road trip fun!”
“You’re way too trusting. We’d end up dead in a ditch.” Adore slung an arm around her shoulder. “Come on.”
“Fiiiiiine.”
-
“What took you guys so long?” April asked as Courtney skipped back up to the group, Adore at her heels.
“Courtney was taking a massive shit,” Adore said, climbing onto the blanket and stealing the bag of Cheetos from Thorgy, who burst out laughing.
Courtney put her hands on her hips. “I was NOT!”
“Don’t be ashamed, Court, everyone poops,” Bob said cheerfully.
“Well, that’s not what I was-”
“Although, that one was particularly ungodly. And the smell...you guys should probably not go into that bathroom for like, 30 minutes or so…”
“ADORE DELANO YOU STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!” Courtney shrieked, tackling her. “TELL THEM YOU’RE LYING!”
Adore, now fully enjoying herself, continued, “I just didn’t know that such violent noises could come out of such a small person.”
“Stoooooop!” Courtney pinched her, sitting on her thighs. “Take it back! This is slander!”
“Now I know what they mean when they say ‘shitstorm’...” She shielded herself from Courtney’s assault, laughing and squirming.
Courtney held her arms over her head, unable to hold in her laughter. “Are you done?!”
“Jeez, get a room,” Laganja muttered, shaking her head, and Courtney looked up at her, distracted for long enough for Adore to throw her off into the sand.
Courtney watched Adore, who was now avoiding eye contact, crawl over to where Bob and April played cards. Goosebumps broke out over Courtney’s skin and she sat for a few moments, willing Adore to look back over at her. But she never did, and so after a minute, Courtney gave a small, resigned sigh and stood up, heading over to where Roy and Jamin were making a valiant attempt at frisbee catch.
Courtney sauntered up to them, giving Roy her best puppy eyes. He pretended to ignore her at first, and then dove to catch the frisbee, ending up on the ground with a mouthful of sand. When Courtney offered him a hand, he accepted, allowing her to pull him to his feet.
“Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.” She brushed the sand off of his chest, hands lingering, then looked up at him. “I’m sorry about before. I didn’t mean to make you feel like I don’t…” Courtney sighed, wrapping her arms around his neck.
Roy rested his forehead against hers, feeling his irritation melting away as his hands slid around her waist.
“You know, Adore just broke up with her girlfriend, and she’s been really bummed about it, and I thought it was kind of weird to be all happy and couple-y in front of her. That’s all.” It was a bit of a white lie. The truth was, Adore hadn’t really mentioned Raja at all recently. But it sounded plausible enough.
“That’s all, huh?”
“Yeah. But...what do you say we spend some time together this weekend, just the two of us?”
“Sounds promising.” Roy raises an eyebrow.
“Um, my mom’s gonna be in Mexico with Slate. I’m supposed to be staying with Darienne but I could probably sneak away on Saturday. Wanna have a sleepover?” She pressed against him.
“Yeah, that-I think I can safely say that I’m super fucking down with that,” Roy said, tilting her chin up for a kiss.
She giggled against his mouth, then walked away, tossing a flirtatious wink over her shoulder. Roy watched her, eyes glazed over, as Jamin ambled up with a devious look.
“Congrats. You’re about to become a man. Took long enough.”
“Huh?”
“The sleepover? You’re getting laid this weekend, dude,” Jamin said, punching him on the shoulder.
Roy shook his head. “I don’t think that’s what she meant.”
“Uh, bro, you need to read between the lines. Let’s get a second opinion. THOR!” he bellowed, beckoning Thorgy over to them.
-
The gang put their stuff into the trunk of Darienne’s minivan and Alyssa’s SUV, negotiating who would go in what car. When Adore tried to call shotgun, she was soundly rejected.
“Sorry kiddo, as the youngest one here, I’m afraid you’re stuck in the far back with the other skinny bitches.”
April and Courtney waved to her.
“Welcome back to the kid’s table, puta!” April sang.
Adore climbed in the back, taking the window seat on the other side of Courtney. Half the ride consisted of the two girls giggling and whispering to each other, Courtney snuggled up to Adore, practically in her lap.
“Oh, she’s mad at him,” Adore said, nodding towards an older couple in the car next to them.
“What ‘cha think he did?” Courtney rose up a bit to get a good look at the grumpy couple.
The woman glared out the window, rolling her eyes at something the driver was saying.
“Missed the exit. He definitely missed an exit,” Adore nodded. “John, I fucking told you that was our exit back there, but you never want to listen. Just like when I told you-” Adore mimicked in the voice of a middle-aged white woman.
Courtney snorted, causing Adore to throw her head back in laughter and Courtney to have a giggle fit as she tried to get Adore to stop laughing at her.
-
When nothing but the radio filled the silence, Roy turned around to get Courtney’s attention. His dimpled smile quickly dropped and his eyebrows rose when he saw how comfortable his girlfriend was in Adore’s arms.
Courtney was humming along to the song on the radio, head nestled back against Adore’s chest as she ran her fingers along Adore’s arm, making invisible patterns. Adore leaned against the window, seemingly lost in thought.
When Courtney noticed Roy, she smiled at him, eyebrows lifting in curiosity. He only shook his head before turning back in his seat, shifting at how uneasy that moment had just made him, even though he wasn't quite sure why.
-
April woke as the familiar setting of their neighborhood engulfed them, stretching her arms and yawning.
Looking around the car she nearly cooed when she saw Adore and Courtney asleep, adorably snuggled up to each other. She whipped out her phone, taking a quick picture.
Needing someone else to fawn over the two friends with, April leaned over the seat, tapping Roy awake and shoving the phone in his face. “Aren't they so cute?”
Roy squinted at the picture, glanced behind him at the two girls, then back to the picture before grunting, “Absolutely adorable.”
“What's adorable?” Darienne asked, glancing back in the rearview mirror.
But before April could answer, Bob grabbed the phone out of her hand.
“Aye, perra!” April stepped on the seat, launching herself forward as she wrestled to get her phone out of Bob’s grip.
“Hey! Stop that! Bob, give her her phone back. Roy, break them up!” Darienne demanded.
Thorgy turned around in the front seat, reaching to try to help April take her phone back. Bob had slid onto the floor, cackling, making it difficult to reach him.
The commotion stirred the two sleeping beauties awake. Adore tried to stretch her stiff limbs in the tight space of the back seat with Courtney laying on her chest.
Courtney opened one eye, a small smile spreading across her lips as she tried not to laugh at April and Bob wrestling and Roy trying to avoid getting hit, before snuggling into Adore.
Adore rubbed her eye tiredly, placing the other on Courtney’s waist, her thumb rubbing circles on the smooth exposed skin there.
Then it hit her like a truck where they were, the position they were in, and what it could look like. Adore quickly sat up, pushing a whining Courtney off of her.
Courtney pouted, “Dory, I was comfortable.”
“Well, we're… we're almost home.” Adore said with shrug, turning towards the window, refusing to meet Roy’s surveying stare.
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midastouches · 4 years ago
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why i love long live (2010)
i really could break this down line by line but i will not micha this is for u honey enjoy <3
Long Live
I had this best guy friend, since like sixth grade. We really only became friends because he started dating my best girl friend and i actually dated his best friend for like a solid two weeks because well, sixth grade relationships :) ANYwho, me and this bgf would talk a lot because we spent a lot of time together because of my bff/his girlfriend. Anywho, eventaully our conversations got really deep and I developed a huge huge crush on him that I couldn’t admit because well, he was dating my best friend.
flash forward a few years later when i finally actually have my own phone and can talk to him, he and my best friend go through this huge messy breakup that essentially means I have to pick a side and can never talk to the other one. I pick the boy that this point i’ve had a crush on for four? years at this point of my best friend (this is actually one of my biggest regrets, and yes, me and girl bff made up later that year on valentines day wow im so bisexual woo)
we end up getting super close, and we talk a lot. i learn that he used to cut himself, except he would do it on his back so no one could see. i would tell him about how much i hate my body, how uncomfortable it makes me and how much i hate eating and gaining weight. we would talk about our depression and the things we hated about high school, and I really though he would fall for me, I did. 
He didn’t. 
I learned about his new girlfriend later that day at a winter strength and speed session. She was blonde, blue eyes, and i somehow convinced myself that she was essentially going to be someone he dated until I turned sixteen and would be able to date him. I recognize now how utterly stupid that was of me just to assume that, assume someone’s feeling were only a placeholder. 
Anyway, high school goes on, and we’re still super close, but there’s now a buffer. I turn sixteen, he and this girl still date. He turns sixteen. They still date. My anorexia gets even worse and my junior years goes to shit. I find it in myself that I can’t talk to him, I can’t be that girl who obsesses over someone elses. So, I simply start to remove myself from him for my own well-being. I put my feelings for in a denial mode and I start to flirt with other people, other boys that make me think I’m moving on, but I’m not. 
Because everytime I get a text or a snapchat from him, my whole face lights up and I know I’m fucked. 
And to my credit, I was not othe only one trying to convince myself he felt something for me. Countless other people in my high school shipped us, countless other people could tell I had a crush on him and they would tell me all the ways they could tell he secretly liked me. It made the narrative continue and my feelings for him were still buried. I couldn’t tell him, I wouldn’t tell him. I was not going to jeopardize our friendship, his relationship with his girlfriend all because I had a dumb crush on him. I just kept thinking it’ll go away, it’ll go away. 
It didn’t, but again, let’s go into the denial phase. 
Hit senior year. We barely talk now except for in person stuff, mainly because I’m trying to convince myself that he doen’t care about me at all. We’re both in cross country though so August hits and I see him eevery day. Except that I think the crush has faded a bit, and I’ve got this other guy I’m talking to, one who makes me feel seen and compliments me and is just overall an amazing guy. Septemeber passes by, now I have a boyfriend and there’s homecing nominations coming up. He gets nominated, I get nominated. I joke to my boyfriend that I’m not going to win, I’m not part of the popular crowd. He bets that I will win. 
This boy texts me in class later that month, after everyone’s voted and now the boy and girl our paired. He send a photo with the pairings and oh look, we’re paired together. All I can think is fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. There’s a ton of homecoming events, lots of pictures, and we’ll be in every single one of them together. 
(also one of the dress up days for homecoming that week is goth day and he gets smudged eyeliner put on him and i just about lose it)
spring forward to the pep rally and we’re all down there, facing eachother, me holding a rose covered in foil and tape with about a dozen other couples surrounding us. I’m looking at him, he’s looking at me. 
They finally tell us to unravel the roses and i can’t. i’m struggling. just about every other girl has their rose unwrapped  but I don’t hear any screaming yet, no winner has been declared. I’m looking at him and he’s got a damn smirk on his face watching me struggle when I finally get. The homecoming queen is announced when she is holding a red rose. 
As I finally get the foil off and stare at the rose in shock, I realize it’s as red as sin. The whole gymansium goes up in a roar of celebration and all the sudden he’s hugging me so tight tight tight and I’m hugging him back just as tight but we’re being pulled from eachother and the other girls who lost are hugging me and I glance back and he’s just go this huge smile on my face and 
holy shit we won. holy fuck shit. we aren’t popular in the way the others were. we were just a rag tag team of a girl and boy and we fucking won. 
we’re crowned king and queen and the entire time long live by taylor swift is stuck in my head. 
the photos of us are gorgeous. the candids, the staged. our crowns. 
and everytime i look back at them i just think of this: 
I said remember this moment In the back of my mind The time we stood with our shaking hands The crowds in stands went wild We were the kings and the queens And they read off our names The night you danced like you knew our lives Would never be the same You held your head like a hero On a history book page It was the end of a decade But the start of an age
flash foward to today. We don’t really talk at all. Occasionally I see him on a run, or at his work. Occasionally we’ll see eachother around, but it’s never awkward. He always brings the same grin to my face that makes me wonder if he ever knew. 
I still love to look at the photos. Every smile, every laugh. 
I think I’ll be in love with him forever. I think that a part of my heart will always belong to him, and I don’t think he’ll ever know. But I hope that sometimes, just sometimes I linger a bit too long in his mind as well. 
Hold on to spinning around Confetti falls to the ground May these memories break our fallCan you take a moment Promise me this: That you'll stand by me forever But if God forbid fate should step in And force us into a goodbye If you have children someday When they point to the pictures Please tell them my name Tell them how the crowds went wild Tell them how I hope they shine
Long live the walls we crashed through I had the time of my life with you
This is why Long Live is one of my favorite songs. It provides this amazing narrative for me to relate one of the greatest people who have ever touched my life. As far as I’m aware, he doesn’t have tumblr, so he’ll never actually see this, but yeah, that’s kinda it. if you read this far, tysm and I hope you have an amazing day <3
and for one moment a band of thieves and ripped up jeans got to rule the world. 
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twoidiotwriters1 · 5 years ago
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Starcrossed Losers XV (Josh Wheeler xReader)
A/N: My eyes hurt from editing this thing so late at night, please enjoy 
Words: 4,700
Warnings: None!
Previous chapter // Next chapter
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What’s up, I’m officially fucked.
I don’t know how to narrate everything as it went down, I don’t have superpowers and I didn’t see it from above, also I was too busy trying to not self combust while Josh was kissing me.
I’m stupid. You knew that don’t pretend this came as a surprise, I’m dumb. I gave up my last braincell for my overalls, I have nothing left. 
That’s not important right now, I’ll go back to tell you the story, just be warned: Things don’t get prettier.
So Josh just kissed me, I’m standing there avoiding physical contact until a voice inside my head (one that sounds a lot like Wesley) screams to me: MAKE YOUR MOVE!
I pull him down by the collar of his shirt and close my eyes tightly, kissing him back. All I can think right now is “Please, don’t regret this after it’s over” and I mean it for both of us. 
The problem is that I suffer a little bit of post-traumatic stress, so when He kissed my mind went: ‘Oh fuck he just did the same thing that Alex did, what if he doesn’t feel good after, what about me? How am I feeling?’ 
The answer is: I’m terrified. I feel so many things, great things, beautiful things, but I’m scared shitless.
After he steps back, eyeing me up like he’s waiting for a reaction.
I’m trying to collect myself. I’m panicking, What the fuck did just happened?
“Shit,” It’s the first thing that Josh says.
I keep my eyes closed, I feel that I will start crying if I look at him. It won’t be a sad cry, it’s more like I’m so scared of what I’m feeling right now I regret every decision I’ve ever taken. I don’t wanna hurt Josh by saying something I don’t mean just cause I’m scared, my whole body is shaking and I’m so cold that I’m not even blushing, I can’t move.
“Y/N?” Josh takes another step back, I hear him a bit further away than before, “Are you... are you okay?”
I take a deep breath, I have to be brave. I slowly open my eyes but keep them fixed on the ground where Josh is standing, all I can see it’s his shoes.
“I’m fine,” I rasp, “... I could use a moment to calm down”
“I blew it,” Josh’s feet move, walking in circles, “Y/N I’m sorry, I’m so sorry please don’t get mad, I did it without thinking. I mean I was thinking but fuck I just wanted to kiss you, I-”
“Josh,” I speak up, closing my eyes again and holding the bridge of my nose, ‘Please don’t say you regret it. Don’t say you don’t have feelings for me’, “you don’t get it”
His footsteps come into a halt.
“Then explain it to me,” He says softly.
“I-”
“Y/N! Josh!” I look up and I meet Angelica’s glare, “Don’t fucking disappear like that!”
“Sorry, An,” I apologize, walking over to her and putting a hand on her shoulder for comfort, “we’re making sure the limits of the mall are safe again, you know, from bombs or something”
“They didn’t put things, they took them,” She says, fuming, “you need to come back inside right now”
“Okay,” I frown.
“We’re right behind you,” Josh is standing next to me. I feel a shiver run down my spine.
Angelica nods and goes back to the mall without even noticing how stiff Josh and I look. I turn to him, still not able to look at him in the eyes.
“I’m not upset... many things happened tonight and I think we should take care of that first. Don’t you?”
“Totally, I agree” Josh replies, I know he’s lying.
“Let’s go back,” I mumble, walking away.
Okay, then Josh likes me and I like him back. Why am I scared? 
I’m scared cause this takes my freedom away, if I take it all in that means I’ll stay with Josh, cause I like him. There are things that I’ll never be able to change, if I start something with Josh I’ll do everything to make him happy. Everything. 
My loyalty scares me.
I have to learn how to control that part of me, to not give myself away so easily. What if he tries and fails to be a better man? I’ll be in love with an asshole, I’ll be blind to his acts. 
Or... maybe I won’t. 
Josh doesn’t try to follow me when we enter the mall, he goes to the mattress store and says something about changing his clothes. I do the same. 
I feel safe with my overalls back on, instead of my lime-green skates I put on the baby-blue sneakers, and since it’s still late and I’m freezing I look around for a jacket, I find a black hoodie. I think it’s a man’s hoodie since it reaches my butt and the sleeves are gigantic. It makes me feel safe though, so I keep it.
My hair feels odd so I tie it and then make my way back to the main hall. Most of the kids are there, picking up some things and sharing sad looks of weariness.
“Y/N?” I look to my left, a girl that I think it’s Leila approaches me, she has a deep cut above her eyebrow, “Can you help me?”
“Sure,” I give her a small smile, “let me find Alex and I’ll meet you back in the pharmacy, okay?”
She nods and walks away, I feel a different kind of fear as I watch her go. These kids are sort of our responsibility now, all of them. They almost died because of some stupid beef Turbo has with Wesley and Josh, that’s not right. 
Did we save these kids, or did we just turn them into Turbo’s next target?
I find Alex already in the pharmacy, he’s curing kids, still wearing his suit. When he notices me I see relief in his eyes, maybe he thought that I had been taken. Either way, I’m here and ready to help.
Leila appears soon after, I ask her to sit on the bench in front of me and I start to clean her cut.
“Are you alright, Al?” I ask while looking for bandaids.
“I could ask you the same thing,” He replies, finishing up with a kid and waiting for the next to sit, “How’s your hand?”
“Not that bad,” I’m honest this time, it’s not hurting as much as the side of my head Maya so kindly stepped on, “I didn’t get to use it much”
“I’m fine,” Ales shrugs, “a few bruises but nothing I can’t handle.”
“You should change, we’ll be here for a while,” I tilt my head, watching as most of the kids form a line, all to get their wounds treated.
“I’m not uncomfortable”
“You’ll be, eventually,” I give him a severe look, “c’mon, I can handle this on my own for a while, the kids won’t go anywhere... I won’t go anywhere”
“...Okay,” He sighs, nodding towards the boy in front of him to let him know he’s done curing his cuts, “I’ll be back soon”
“Sweet,” I respond without paying much attention.
The line moves slowly as I clean and take care of cuts, bruises, and even a few broken fingers. Those were tricky, luckily Alex came back and used his boy scout skills to make several splints. That took us most of the night. Once we were done I saw Alex’s intentions of asking me if I had taken a decision so I escaped with the excuse of counting our supplies things that were lost. I did the same with the people.
I finished the list and handed it to Angelica. 
The final result was this:
They took our food and water, along with Jayden, girl Jaden, Gabriel, Zoey, Carly, other gay Josh, and Jayden. Angelica said she would go tell Josh so I decided to go over to where Eli and Wesley are and have a chat with them before things get uglier.
“I don’t think you understand exactly how much you just fucked our group,” I say as soon as I get to them.
“No no, I don’t think you understand how fucking dumb locking us up is,” Eli retorts, “We were just trying to protect the kids”
“By killing a guy?” I scoff, “That’s not fair to Josh”
“Who cares?” He asks, “Josh never did shit for us, did he? I had the mall first! He didn’t find them a home, he just took it from me”
“You’re still not over that?” I roll my eyes, “You almost kill Josh over the stupid mall? Seriously?”
“No. I almost kill Josh because that was the right thing to do, considering that Turbo has the strong, fully armed tribe”
“You have no morals. Who cares if Turbo had all that? He still lost, you know. We wouldn’t have had to fight if Wesley had spoken earlier,” I look over at Wesley, who is deadly quiet, “Josh would’ve understood. He would’ve helped you find a solution.”
“Josh being nice to you doesn’t mean he’s like that with everybody,” He replies indifferent, “maybe he would’ve tried to help me, but this wasn’t his problem, it was mine”
“When Sam was missing it was only Josh’s problem and you helped him find her”
Wesley shifts uncomfortably in his place, not looking at me.
“Y/N, You don’t get it.”
“You’re right, I don’t,” I say harshly, “I thought you had changed, Wesley. I was wrong, you’re still backing up the wrong people. And Eli,” I look at the boy, sincere hurt spreading on my chest, “I voted for you, you know? I never forgot it was you who got the mall first, I was thankful for that”
Eli avoids my stare, he maintains his attitude of not giving a shit, but I notice that his fists are tightly closed.
Angelica’s voice gets closer and I turn around to see her with Josh beside her. He looks terrible, I just hope is not my fault.
“Don’t blame us,” Eli interrupts their chat, “we tried murdelizing Josh so this wouldn’t happen”
“That’s a confession,” Says the girl that I think it’s Jessica.
“I didn’t say blit,” Eli frowns.
“You said you tried to kill Josh,” Angelica adds.
“Not what I said”
“It is”
“The you misheard me”
“I recorded it”
As they argue I keep my eyes fixed on them until Josh’s stare is impossible to ignore. I turn to him with my voice caught in my throat, unable to say anything, a joke, or a comforting phrase. Josh is frowning but is more a worried frown than an angry one. 
He probably has a lot in his head right now, disappointed that things aren’t going how he wanted. Well Wheeler, that’s another thing we have in common.
“If you’re looking for bad hombres then look around,” Eli’s voice brings me back and makes me look away from Josh, “these kids are here illegally. They didn’t come through an authorized port of entry. They didn’t apply for asylum. This is an invasion”
“You are so not helping yourself right now,” I reply, stepping closer to him as Josh steps away to see Wesley, “these kids could save your ass from being kicked out”
“You can’t kick me out of MY mall!” He defends.
“The mall is not yours only!” I exclaim, “We all deserve to be here!”
“You didn’t put all the safety traps, I did. You didn’t make sure everything was still working when the nuke dropped. I did,” He leans closer, “I have the right to stay”
What upsets me the most is that he has a point, we kind of invade his place. Although it’s big enough for all of us and he should be less whiny about it, he did make all the hard work for us.
“I trusted you,” Josh speaks behind me, “we were friends”
“You know how you’d do anything for Sam Dean or Y/N?” Wesley asks, “I get that”
I try to ignore the fact that he added me into the question like I’m on the same level as Sam, like Josh is that interested in me. Right now it causes me nothing but distress.
“It’s just,” He continues, “you don’t know Turbo the way I do”
“What else have you lied to me about?” Josh asks bitterly.
Something weird happens, it’s brief but I notice. Wesley looks at Angelica and I see her flinch, she steps in to interrupt them.
They’re hiding something.
“We should make sure Triumph is still locked up,” She says, “I’ll go check”
“Alright,” Josh mumbles.
“You can’t go alone,” I interrupt, “I’ll go with you”
“No, we need you here,” She shakes her head, then leaves without waiting for a response.
“Who?” I ask in confusion.
“What are we gonna do about them?” Asks Jessica.
“Why are you asking this dope?” Eli sneers, “Josh is such a wuss, his cock dropped off, hitchhiked to San Diego and is now getting his realtor’s license, all just to get away from Josh”
“Sometimes I wonder how were you so smart to put all those traps when all that comes from your mouth is so disgustingly stupid,” I say tiredly.
Josh gives him one exasperated look before turning back to Jessica.
“Why are you asking me?”
“I was asking to the both of you,” Jessica says, now looking at me as well, “we trust you”
Josh and I share the same startled look, he’s the first one to react.
“I don’t know what to do about these assholes,” He half-laughs, “look I’m not a judge or a lawyer. I’m just a kid, same as Turbo except... Turbo’s a spoiled brat who throws temper tantrums.”
“I still can’t believe he did all of this just cause he had a jealous fit,” I cross my arms, “he hurt innocent kids cause he thought Wesley was cheating, what kind of sick idiot does that?”
“He is never gonna leave me or us alone,” He looks back at me, “I don’t know if you saw her, but Maya was with him too. She’ll do anything to get back at you”
“I know,” I nod, feeling my mouth dry, “she tried to kill me last night, if it wasn’t for Alex...”
“I know,” Now he’s the one avoiding my eyes, “I don’t know how, but we need to take him out for good”
“Tyler told me Turbo got hurt by one of his weapons,” I reply, “that means we are not the only ones trying to get rid of him”
“What are you suggesting?” Jessica asks.
“I... I don’t know,” I’m frustrated with all these roads that take us nowhere, “we could look for a way to reach the right person, talk to them and convinced them to help... I just don’t know how or who”
“What about Wesley and Eli?” 
“I think...” I look over my shoulder to see my former friends.
I know I don’t have the courage to kick them out, not after Wesley got the medicines I needed to cure Josh and Eli’s right about how he arrived at the mall first.
“I think we have enough problems, better to lock them here instead of kicking them out. Keep your enemies close, right?”
I hear a few whispers of agreement and I feel a wave of relief washing over me. One less thing to worry about.
“Jessica, could you stay and keep an eye on them?” I ask, “I’ll send Alex your way in a moment with food for them and more indications”
“Okay,” She nods, sitting in front of the store. 
The rest of the kids scatter and I’m left with Josh, who is back with the intense stare. I feel calm enough to talk now. I’m still afraid, but it’s better if I also fix this once and for all.
“Can we talk?” I turn to him suddenly, making him jump.
“Yes,” He replies, quickly taking my good hand and walking to where the storage elevator is.
Once we’re there he lets go of my hand and stands as far as he can, I get the message that he thinks that I’m mad, or maybe he’s the one who’s mad.
“Listen I-”
“I don’t want-”
We speak at the same time and we stop, waiting for the other to start again, then I nod to him so he can speak first. Josh takes a deep breath.
“I shouldn’t have kissed you without asking first,” He says, “I let my emotions take over me again and before I knew it I was kissing you. I’ll understand if you want to stay away from me for a while, or if you want to go somewhere else with Alex.”
He’s not looking at me and his arms are crossed. He’s defensive because he thinks I’ll reject him. 
I don’t know if I’m going to reject him.
“Things are complicated,” I nod, “not only between us, is complicated outside too. Turbo wants your head and Maya wants mine, they’re working together against us. If you really think about it the kiss is the least of our problems”
I try to make him laugh but I fail miserably. Josh is really upset about this whole incident.
“It’s the only thing that I really care about,” He replies, “Y/N when I met you things were different and we wanted different things, we didn’t mean to stay. Things happened and we started talking and... maybe I changed my mind”
“What do you mean?” I say, though I definitely know the answer.
“I like you,” He looks up, “really like you. I like being around you, I feel like I have someone that gets me and I get you. Things just seem... easy”
I feel weird, I could hug him forever but also I’m about to have a breakdown. 
“How long have you felt this way?” I say with a shaky breath.
“Long enough to know is real,” Josh shrugs, “I was going to ask you to the dance and all... but Alex did it first.”
Before I can reply, Josh starts rambling.
“I don’t know why I’m telling you this when I know you don’t like me, it’s stupid. Alex is here now and all I’m doing is making you uncomfortable. You were being a good friend and I was stupid enough to think that maybe there was something going on between us-”
“You’re right,” I interrupt him, “I mean, you’re wrong about me not liking you. You’re right about the something between us.”
“What?” His arms fall to his sides.
“I have a massive crush on you, Josh.”
Saying it outside my head is weird, this is the first time I’ve ever confessed directly to a boy. It took me a while but I’m doing it... now what?
“You do?” He frowns.
“I was already into you when you recovered from your severed finger,” I chuckle nervously, “and I chose that stupid song for the soundtrack of our lives cause it made me think of us”
“It did?” Josh’s brain has short-circuited, considering he’s only capable of saying two words every time he opens his mouth.
“It’s cheesy” I shrug, “I thought that you’d understand what I was trying to say but I guess I was being too cryptid. Who could’ve guessed that anyway? I was just being dramatic. My head is too full of fanfic crap”
“I...” Josh struggles to find words, I’ve noticed that happens when he’s under a lot of stress, “wait, give me a minute”
“Alright,” I move closer, “don’t pass out right now, we’re in the middle of something here”
“Yeah, I know sorry” He bends over to support his hands on his knees, “I’m just trying to understand how am I such an idiot”
“I was oblivious too,” I add, trying to calm him down.
“I thought you and Alex were dating now”
“But I told you we were just friends,” I giggle. 
I’m obviously so nervous that I’m about to pee my overalls. 
...That’s something I never thought I would say.
“You went to the dance with him and got matching outfits. Who does that?” He inquires, “I thought that maybe after everything that happened you decided to give him a second chance" 
“Holy shit,” I gasp, “Alex and I love being dramatic, the matching outfits is something common between us... this is our second chance, Josh. Alex and I are giving our friendship a second chance”
“So... you’re not dating him?”
“I am not”
“But when I kissed you...”
I know it’s the worst time to think about the soundtrack of my life, but at the back of my head, I keep hearing the chorus of this one, product of our bizarre conversation.
“I kissed you back,” I admit, suddenly our mutual anxiety makes this conversation easier, “you know how I feel about being tied to someplace, or someone, if I’m being honest I got scared, I felt all these things and I don’t know how to deal with them. Worse yet, I didn’t know how you would react after. Alex told me he knew he didn’t like me after he kissed me, you did the same thing so I was afraid because...”
“I know I'll stay, I know I'll stay Right there with you...”
“That I would realize I’m not into you?” I look away, he steps closer and then his fingertips touch my skin, “Y/N, when I kissed you I felt a lot of things. All of them were positive.”
“That’s good to hear,” I reply in a high-pitched voice.
“You’re still scared about what could happen if we... you know, if we start something?” Josh asks me, I feel his hand moving from my wrist to my shoulder.
“If I don't know The wind will carry me So just hold tight”
“I don’t know,” I look down to his lips and then back up at his eyes.
“Okay, here’s a thought,” He says lowly, “What if we just don’t think about it? What if we just... do it”
I have few seconds to respond to that, I use them hurriedly, forcing something out of my mouth.
“It sounds difficult,” I feel my heart thumping against my ribcage, “but I’m kind of tired of boys stealing kisses from me and never coming back”
“It’s your choice,” His breathing is slow, his hand is softly touching my cheek, moving little hairs away from my face “whatever you want, I’ll follow”
We hear rushed steps towards us and I jump back. I was supposed to send Alex to Jessica.
“Fuck, I have to send Alex with Jessica,” I pass a hand over my face, trying to get rid of the fuzzy feeling in my brain. 
Angelica and Crumble appear, they’re on their way to see Triumph.
“Hi losers,” Angelica watches us carefully, “were you making out in here?”
“Get out of here,” Josh huffs, I can see him blushing.
“I was just asking,” Angelica rolls her eyes, “see ya in a bit, Crumble is coming with me”
“Be careful,” I reply.
They walk out and Josh and I share a look. The moment is hella ruined, yet there’s this buzzing feeling around us, one that the experts would call: Sexual Tension.
“We should go back,” I mumble, pointing over my shoulder with my thumb.
“Yeah,” Josh sighs, then he walks past me and smiles briefly.
I smile back.
I don’t know what’s going on inside my body but sure is something big, I don’t even feel like I have organs in there anymore. More like a mush of melted butterflies... that does not sound nice at all. I’m so sorry. I was trying to explain with other words that I’m freaking out.  
Not relevant! The point is... I think Josh and I are almost a... couple?
I won’t put a label on it yet, I’ll just wait and see what happens from here.
And what happens from here will surprise you! Click on the next page to find out.
...
Bad joke? I’m sorry, I do awful jokes when I’m nervous.
I go over to Alex and tell him he needs to stay and watch over Wesley and Eli while we find a way to fix this. My indications come with a list of four kids that will take turns with him so they can take long breaks. It has my signature at the bottom, so they know he’s not making things up. Then he asks me about Josh.
“I talked to him but I don’t actually know if something will happen between us”
“But?” He smiles, “C’mon! I know that face, something happened”
“He kissed me last night,” I cut him off before he starts screaming, “We aren’t together! I think we’re not. It’s complicated.”
“You will be,” He smirks, “it’s just a matter of time, I can see it. There’s no way he won’t fall in love with you”
“Shut up, nerd.”
“Fair enough,” He shrugs, “mark my words though”
“Go with Jessica.”
“Fine. See ya,” Alex looks over my shoulder and his smile grows, “enjoy your date”
“My what?” I frown, turning around I see Josh walking up to me. I roll my eyes, “Alex for fuck’s sake...”
He’s gone now, so he doesn’t hear me. Josh stops in front of me and puts his skateboard on the table on my right.
“Is it broken?” I ask, leaning closer to examine it.
Josh shakes his head.
“I’m just restoring a few parts”
“How long have you had it?”
“Since the nuke, about... Seven months?”
“I see,” I settle with just standing there next to him. It’s enough, I don’t even feel awkward about it. 
I should though, I’m staring at him like a creep. Luckily he doesn’t seem to mind and starts to make small talk. We chat casually and act like nothing’s changed. 
My brain doesn’t agree with us since its screaming “KISS HIM! KISS HIM! I LOVE HIS FACE!”
It’s embarrassing and I’m glad he can’t read minds. 
You can read mine though, so uh, I’m sorry for that.
KJ appears beside us, I see her struggle with something and I’m about to ask what’s wrong when she speaks. In English.
“You’re right. Turbo needs to go.”
I look at her with wide eyes, Josh looks up, slowly realizing who is talking to him.
“And now it’s the perfect time to do it. When he’s injured, hit by an arrow during the battle,” She speaks quickly, like she doesn’t want the rest of the kids to hear her, “Unfortunately, these mall kids are pure priss. They’re not even the kids who got picked last kickball. No, these are the kids who had a doctor’s note to get out of gym because they’re allergic to dander”
Josh takes a second to process what’s happening, then he asks:
“You speak English?”
“We are in America,” KJ replies matter of factly.
“English?” He replies, raising his voice.
“Josh!” I exclaim, looking around.
“You knew this?” He looks over at me, utterly confused.
“Yes?” I say nervously, “She didn’t want anyone to know so I kept it a secret...”
“That was nice of you,” KJ smiles politely, then looks back at Josh, “we all do what we need to survive. Suburban whities ignore anyone who doesn’t look and sound like you. People say anything around me because they think I don’t understand shit and that nets me information”
“That’s better than hiding in giant trash containers,” I agree.
“What?” Josh looks over at me.
“That’s how I used to spy on people.”
“Intel is the only currency that anyone can trade on,” KJ continues, ignoring my comment, “You wanna take out Turbo? You need a tribe with skills”
Josh stares at her for a few seconds.
“English?” He asks again, loudly.
KJ sighs heavily and rolls her eyes. I grab him by the arm and pull him with me, then I put my other hand on KJ’s shoulder and take them to a more private area.
“This will take a while...”
Taglist.
@letsbloodmagic @slythermyg @loving-u-3000​
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