#PLEASE!!! i want to see more epic hugs in movies and television

[thebeautifulfantastic]

i have once again come to the conclusion that there needs to be more hugging in popular media

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 317: My Boy Was Just Like Me

Previously on BnHA: AFO randomly blew up Lady Nagant as a good reminder of why you should never make a deal with this fucking guy, smdh. Hawks was all “well if it isn’t my two best friends, Deku and Lady Nagant, both of whom I respect and love tremendously.” Everyone was all “??” and Horikoshi was all “shh... just pretend” because it was too embarrassing for him to admit that he forgot to write a couple of set-up flashbacks I guess. Anyway so Hawks got Lady to tell them where AFO was hiding out, and everyone said goodbye to her and Overhaul, who never did get to see his boss (sorry buddy, I’ll send you a vial of my tears in the mail), and headed out to a house in the woods. AFO was all “hello Deku :) :) it sure is fun making you suffer :) :) :) anyways this is a trap”, and blew up the house. Yeah, we all here are getting reaaaaaaaal tired of your shit, AFO.

Today on BnHA: The Hawksquad and Edgeplatoon meet in a warehouse and are all “what should we do about the fact that everything sucks?” Mt. Lady is all “here’s a thought, what if we tried battling AFO with more than six people.” Hawks and Endeavor are all “great initiative, but just a friendly reminder that our friends also suck and would probably betray Deku which would suck further still.” Shouto is all “ANSWER THE PHONE DAD” and Endeavor is all “[IRONICALLY DOESN’T ANSWER THE PHONE].” Meanwhile over in Sadtown, capital of Sadland Prefecture, Japan, Deku is all “All Might, as you can clearly see I am completely fine and good, never been better in fact, definitely not caught up in the throes of an epic mental breakdown which is shutting me down emotionally, anyway so on that note I would like to leave you now goodbye!!” All Might is all “[can’t actually form any words because he’s too distraught].” Fandom is all “o(╥﹏╥)o.” Horikoshi is all “(*＾-’) 乃 [pew pew finger guns and barrel rolls into the darkness].”

sweet jesus lord

this literally doesn’t even look like Deku anymore?? this looks like Dark!Deku who shows up to fight you in that one room in the Water Temple. he looks like he’s about to crawl out of my television set and murder me with his psychic powers good lord

holy shit lmao Horikoshi is really just shrugging his shoulders and resolving last week’s cliffhanger with a single line of dialogue

fire is no one’s weakness. idk what other options you’ve got, AFO, but you’re gonna have to go back to the drawing board. maybe try bees or something. I’m just saying. we’re all expecting fire at this point but nobody is expecting bees

anyway so now they’re all sitting in some warehouse somewhere chatting about it I guess. shoutout to Horikoshi for finally giving my man Edgeshot some more dialogue at long last

well, Edgeshot, to answer your question, she exploded. so naturally she’s fine

nah just kidding, Hawks says she won’t be able to help them out much because she’s recovering from being exploded. this is the part where we all ignore the fact that Hawks got set on fire for like a full ten minutes back during the War arc and was only in the hospital for a day. anyways enjoy your temporary plot hiatus Nagant

man there’s a lot of dialogue here and I’m trying to figure out where to insert commentary but it’s kinda difficult lol. basically, Edge and the others are saying that they should gather up the other remaining heroes and get them all caught up on the whole OFA situation. which, hmmmm

like on the one hand, these guys definitely aren’t going to cut it on their own, so it’s a reasonable suggestion on the face of it. but on the other hand, do we really want to entrust the OFA secret to a bunch of other people, most of whom shat the bed during the War arc to be quite frank? is it really worth the additional risk? especially given that any one of them might go spilling the beans to the public -- or worse, betray them to AFO??

also just a quick side note here, Mt. Lady’s character development never ceases to delight me. she’s become so committed to her responsibility as a hero these days, and it fucking suits her. I genuinely consider to be one of the elites now. I mean it doesn’t hurt that all the other elites are fucking dead lol but still

wait what? Death Arms retired??

Death Arms as in the guy who was too afraid of a little fire to try and save a terrified 14-year-old kid who was slowly suffocating right before his eyes?? that Death Arms???? color me surprised. shocked, I tell you

...okay but holy fuck

Death Arms. bro. my expectations for you were low but holy shit. like I’m sorry, but I don’t even have it in me to try and pretend like I feel the slightest bit of sympathy for him or Old Man Samurai or any of those other guys today. thanks for a whole lot of nothing my dude. good riddance

(ETA: so I’m rereading this the next day and realize this comes off as kind of harsh, so let me just try to clarify. it’s not the fact that he’s quitting that bothers me, to be honest. it’s the fact that he’s quitting specifically because he feels like the public is being mean to him. that’s it.

seriously. it would be one thing if he was quitting because he was scared, because now that is human. nobody wants to die, and I doubt any amount of training can ever fully prepare someone to go up against that fear. but the thing is, he never once mentions that, or talks about the danger aspect. instead, I got the distinct vibe from this speech that Death Arms is one of those people who only became a hero because of the limelight. and I just don’t have any patience for that. if all you care about are likes and subscribes then go become a fucking youtuber or some shit. nothing wrong with that! but you didn’t; you signed up to be a hero and protect these people. they gave you their respect and admiration because they trusted you to protect them. and now that they’re no longer in the mood to worship and applaud your every move on account of them being scared shitless because they’re living in the literal end times, you decide to dip. so like okay, fine then. don’t let the door hit you on the way out. anyways lol sorry for the rant.)

anyway so yeah. perfect example of why I don’t exactly have a ton of faith in most of the remaining heroes out there lol. also let me just once again give a shoutout to my best girl Mt. Lady whom I suddenly find myself appreciating all the more

“please calm down makeste. drink some water and enjoy this fresh new jeans pun” listen Horikoshi don’t tell me what to do dammit

fine. it is a nice pun, I guess

-- damn so now Endeavor’s saying that the media is already being fed info by the retired heroes. so for some of these guys it wasn’t enough for them to abandon all the people they swore to protect and to leave their fellow heroes out in the cold; they decided they might as well actively make things worse for them while they were at it, huh. like I get wanting to spill all the dirty secrets from your old job that you just quit, but this isn’t Jeff Bezos you’re screwing over, this is a sixteen-year-old kid

-- like, yes!! this, right here!!

exactly!! let’s not forget that there are already two prior instances of this happening. Endeavor arguably deserved it, but Katsuki not so much

huh. Endeavor seems to have a more optimistic outlook regarding this than I do lol

I mean, this is the same public that didn’t hesitant to blame a kidnapped child for his own kidnapping, and then later on for being the downfall of the Symbol of Peace. but okay then

anyway so blah blah blah, more talk about how they need to use Deku as bait, which basically puts them back at square one, and then they’re all just trailing off into silence and sitting around in the dark lmao this is getting very depressing

SKDJFLSDKJ:LFKJ

SHOUTO?????

NOOOOOOOO ARE YOU KIDDING ME

OH HOW THE TURNTABLES OMG. THE GHOSTER HAS BECOME THE GHOSTEE. Endeavor you petty son of a bitch. and what a brutal cut to that flashback too. “let’s stop Touya together” nah Shouto I’ve got a better idea why don’t I abandon you in U.A. and sally off with Hawks and Jeanist to found the “let’s pretend like we’re doing something to help Deku” club, which basically consists of us sitting around making terrible decisions all day long

Shouto, honey. you deserve better my little Coca Cola can. .........but if you really do have something important you need to tell your dad you could just text it to him. all the love and support, hugs and kisses, you’re doing amazing sweetie. but if you need to pass on any vital information you can just write it down and hit send honey that’s all I’m saying love

now he’s getting another call?? -- or, no, Hawks is getting a call from All Might

ARE YOU FOR REAL HAWKS OMFG

so while you all were sitting around talking about how useless you are, the kid you’re supposed to be protecting was battling another hired gun. I see. please pardon me for one second, I have a phone call to make. the phone call is to RockLockRock and Manual. the reason for the call is to apologize for calling them the worst bodyguards ever back during the War arc. the reason for the apology is because it turns out I WAS SEVERELY MISTAKEN OMFG

JESUS CHRIST DEKU DID YOU JUST KILL THIS MAN LMAO

shoutout to Horikoshi for offscreening this fight. we get it, lol. Deku strong and scary, villains ineffectual and feeble, and AFO... [checks notes] yep, still a dick. the angst arc continues

-- the angst arc continues, SIR

jesus christ I may have to rethink all of my opinions about Deku being framed for murder in movie 3 lmao. never mind. he did it, your honor

holy fucking shit Deku. “he might blow up, so please be careful” fdlskjflk jlskdjflk lwkejflk anyway so I’ve decided the explosion running gag can stay, actually

DEKU WAIT YOU FORGOT YOUR LUNCH!!

lol why do I get the feeling some serious shit is about to go down. ALL MIGHT NEVER MIND BACK OFF I THINK HE NEEDS HIS SPACE

OH MY FUCK I GASPED OUT LOUD

NO NO NO. I KNEW THIS WAS COMING GODDAMMIT BUT NO. NEVER MIND, I CHANGED MY MIND ABOUT IT, I’M NOT READY TO CRY TODAY

shit. shit shit shit shit and OF COURSE all I can fucking think about is that stupid fucking prophecy and gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Deku please. please please please if you really are going to leave All Might here, please be so very careful in choosing your farewell words to him now because have this sudden horrible fear that this might be the last time you ever see him alive and oh god. oh god oh god

DEKU NO, YOU’RE REALLY NOT!?!?

I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYONE LESS FINE IN MY LIFE, ACTUALLY????

holy shit. and the fucking callback to the prophecy now. just in case we forgot. WHICH FYI, WE DIDN’T. but that’s basically confirming that this is all still very much on the table and HORIKOSHI NEVER FORGETS oh my god someone please hold me

and the fact that Deku’s flashing back to it now too, though?? because he never forgot either, because of course he didn’t, and now all this stuff is happening, and AFO’s words are getting to him, and this is literally his worst fear come to life and so of course he’s distancing himself from everyone, and now it’s finally come to even this. even the person he admires most

-- OKAY NO, FUCKING COME ON ALREADY I CAN’T TAKE THIS

I GET IT OH MY GOD, I ALREADY UNDERSTAND THE EMOTIONAL IMPACT OF THIS MOMENT WITHOUT ALL OF THE DEVASTATING FLASHBACKS THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH!! YOU ACTUALLY DO WANT ME TO CRY, HUH, IS THAT IT. THIS MAN THAT HE THINKS OF AS A FATHER, THIS MAN WHO HAS BEEN EVERYTHING TO HIM SINCE HE WAS A VERY YOUNG CHILD. EVERYTHING THEY’VE BEEN THROUGH, JUXTAPOSED AGAINST EVERYTHING DEKU IS UP AGAINST, EVERYTHING THAT’S AT RISK. LET’S JUST PUT IT ALL SIDE BY SIDE. LET’S JUST PILE ON ALL OF THE FEELS

(ETA: just a quick note that even though some of the posts I’ve read have described these as All Might’s flashbacks, I’m pretty sure they are Deku’s. most of these are scenes that only he was there for, so yeah. even though All Might is the one thinking the thoughts on the next page, the flashbacks are what’s running through Deku’s mind right now, and so we’re getting that emotion from both of them, which makes it extra devastating lol.)

wait, what???

WHAT??? do you really think that’s why he’s been so determined to protect you this entire time?? simply because you’re his successor?

-- oh no wait lol I think I got that mixed up, this is All Might saying that Deku feels the need to protect him. well that makes more sense lol

oh my god I cannot

his last words. his last words to him. and we can’t even see if he is smiling, like All Might always encouraged him to do. but what are the odds he can’t actually bring himself to do it. what are the odds he’s actually crying. oh god this scene is going to rip my heart out and STOMP on it in the anime isn’t it. Deku’s VA is going to full on murder me with emotion. not that there’ll be much of me left to murder after the thorough job that Horikoshi has already done here

YOU’RE CRYING. DEKU IS LEAVING ALL MIGHT AND IGNORING HIS OUTSTRETCHED HAND AND YOU’RE CRYING. AND BY “YOU” I MEAN “ME”, FUCK

nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope no words just feels just a big ol’ pile of feels. I do not have the strength. future me... [broadly gestures] good luck with all that

(ETA: LOL, WELL THEN.

what breaks my heart here is All Might. All Might, and everything he’s been through, and history repeating itself, and forcing him to live this moment from both sides because he wasn’t strong enough to fix things.

Toshinori had only just turned eighteen when Nana died. like, I feel like we don’t mention this enough. the All Might we know is a sixty-something-year-old man, and so everyone always talks about him like he’s basically been an adult forever. but he was a child when he met Nana. and he was still just a child when she died. barely a year older than Deku is now. younger than Mirio was when we first met him.

and we don’t talk about that. we don’t talk about how devastating that was for him. and we don’t talk about how the reason he grew up to become so reserved and withdrawn -- for all that he always tried so hard to outwardly project the image of a bold, confident, smiling hero -- was specifically because of what AFO did to him. because AFO targeted him in the exact way that he is now targeting Deku. because that’s what he does. he goes after every new user of OFA, and he finds out what’s most important to them, and then he destroys it. and for Toshinori, that was Nana. if you’ve read All Might Rising, you know that AFO basically killed her in front of him (and only killed her, while letting Toshinori and Gran get away). Toshinori (while crying) later says she was like a mother to him. and interestingly enough, during this same conversation, Gran tells Toshinori that he can see “that madness in [his] eyes” when Toshi talks about becoming strong enough to defeat AFO. madness in his eyes. sound familiar??

what’s happening to Deku now is the exact same thing that happened to Toshinori when he was a boy. AFO tried every bit as hard to break him as he’s trying with Deku now. “the path you’ve chosen is a thorny one. every battle grinds away at your soul with no end in sight.” we don’t talk about how Toshinori experienced this same thing for forty fucking years. and all the while isolating himself, exactly like Deku is doing now. pushing people away, exactly like Deku. because he never had anyone who was able to reach out and pull him back. and those words that he now finds himself frozen and unable to speak -- “don’t push yourself”; “you can rest” -- are the same words that no one ever said to him until decades later, when it was already far too late to make any difference.

everything that Deku is experiencing now is what Toshinori also went through. and it’s only now, as he watches it happen to his student, the boy he loves like a son, that he’s finally starting to realize the full extent of how wrong it was. you shouldn’t have to fight alone. you shouldn’t have to bear that kind of enormous burden alone. you shouldn’t have to push yourself, and you can rest. you can rest.

but it’s too late. just as he’s finally coming to understand it all, it’s all too fucking late. and he can’t say the words, he doesn’t know how to say the words, and then just like that, Deku is gone.

and he’s alone. again.)

I can’t. this can’t be their goodbye. I’m not ready. for this to be how they finally part, and then they never see each other again except in OFA. how is that fair. how is that fair. how is that fair

fuck me. lol. how many pages are left in this thing. let’s just wrap this up lol. so now of all the times for this fucking guy to finally show up

I can’t believe Stain has been here literally this entire time hiding behind this random wall and cutting onions. that was you who was cutting the onions, right. no need to answer that we’ll just say it was

HORIKOSHI JUST END THE CHAPTER PLEASE I’M OUT OF SPOONS. YOU HURT ME SO GOOD AND I LOVE YOU FOR IT BUT YOU NEED TO LET ME GO NOW SO I CAN BEGIN THE PROCESS OF TRYING TO PUT MY LIFE BACK IN ORDER HERE. SO WHERE ARE WE CUTTING TO NOW WHAT IS HAPPENING

Stain did you also let AFO give you a new quirk. what’s with you guys. do you like blowing up

oh nvm lol because they were talking about THIS GUY ohhhhhh my fucking god

THAT’S BECAUSE HE’S SAD, LINDA!! jesus

omfg. and so yes, good, the chapter is ending here now on page 15. for once I am FULLY on board with that lmao

anyway so tune in next week for more adventures of Werewolf Deku!! that is, assuming we don’t finally cut back to U.A. at long last, which is actually a strong possibility considering that this chapter will likely mark the end of volume 31. it sure wouldn’t kill Horikoshi to start giving us some hope after everything he’s just put us through lol. KACCHAN COME GET YA BOY

[star-spangled-steve]

His New Partner

Chapter 12: The Experimentation

Series Masterlist

Previous Chapter

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Words: 4721

Warnings: Smut, vaginal sex, oral sex, light fingering, nudity, Daddy!Kink, light Dom!Steve, sub!Reader, dirty talk, mentions of other kinks and sexual activities, cussing.

A/N: I debated for a while whether or not I was going to post something like this, but here we go.

“Can you pass me the gummy bears?” Natasha asked over the sound of ‘Dirty Dancing’, which was playing the television screen.

“Mm-hmm.” Y/N responded, being able complete the task without straying her eyes from the epic final dance number.

The two were having a ‘Girls Night’ in Natasha’s room, something which they did pretty regularly. The event was usually filled with snacks, gossip, and cheesy romance movies that the boys refused to watch, even though they secretly enjoyed them.

“Oh, I love that one so damn much.” Y/N gushed when the closing credits of the film started to play. “The music, the dancing, the sexy Patrick Swayze.”

Natasha chuckled, standing up to take the DVD out of the player. “Sexier than Steve?” She asked with a smirk, before returning to the little makeshift fort that they had created on the ground. In reality, it was just a pile of blankets, pillows, and stuffed animals that Natasha had too much pride to admit she owned.

“Hmm… almost. But don’t tell him that.” Y/N kidded. No one was sexier to her than Steve was, and everybody knew it.

“Speaking of the Captain, how have you two been doing?” The redhead inquired.

The younger girl was confused at her question. “‘Doing’ how?”

“You know… sexually.”

“Nat!” Y/N erupted in nervous giggles, her cheeks getting warmer by the second.

“What? I’m just curious.” She clarified. “The man was a virgin for almost a century. Their has to be an interesting story to tell.”

“I mean, I don’t know.” Y/N played with the bottom of her shirt. “The sex is good. Great, even.”

“But?”

The actress furrowed her eyebrows. “Wait, how did you know that there was a ‘but’?”

Natasha just shrugged, grabbing another Twizzler. “I’m a spy.”

Y/N shook her head, trying to find the correct way to phrase her upcoming statement. “But, it’s very… vanilla, per se.”

“Wow.” The other woman tried not to laugh, failing miserably. “That bad?”

“No! It’s not bad at all.” She now felt guilty for implying anything wrong of Steve. “It’s not his fault that I’ve never been vocal about this.”

“Then why don’t you just be vocal about it?” Natasha suggested like it was the obvious solution.

“Because, what if he thinks I’m some ‘sorta freak of nature?” Y/N worried, grabbing a small handful of M&M’s.

“Damn, Y/N. What kind of shit are you into?” The assassin joked, making the girl drop her head in embarrassment.

“Nothing that weird, I swear!” The girl laughed, wrapping her blankets closer around her. “But Steve is from the olden days, I don’t want to scare him off.”

“Look, N/N.” Natasha grabbed one of her hands. “That man loves you so much, nothing you could ever say or do would scare him off. You guys have only been sleeping together for like three weeks, right? So just tell him, explore with him. Maybe something really great will come out of it.”

“Thanks, Nat.” Y/N pulled her into a hug, grateful for finding such an amazing friend. “But, I just want to be clear.” They pulled away. “I do still very much enjoy sex with Steve.”

“Thats good.” The woman smiled.

“Like he started doing this thing, where he calls me his ‘babydoll’. So thats pretty cool.” Y/N rambled on. “And also, he told me that I was a ‘good girl’ one time. I think that it was on accident, but man oh man, it was sexy.” She absentmindedly hugged one of the many throw pillows, a dreamy expression painted on her face.

“Jeez. Who knew that Y/N Y/L/N was so kinky in the bedroom?” Natasha laughed, causing Y/N’s head to whip towards her.

“Nobody knows. So please, please, please, please-“

“I won’t tell anyone.” The redhead finished. “I promise, your secret is safe with me.”

*****

The feel of the punching bag beneath his hand wraps was the only thing Steve knew as he pounded relentlessly on it. One punch for each night she’d been away from him, and when he got to seven, he’d repeat. All other sights and surroundings were invisible to him, so when Tony put a hand on his shoulder, it was quite the surprise.

“Jesus, Tony!” Steve yelled, flinching away from the billionaire.

“Told you not to poke the bear.” Natasha remarked from her place on one of the treadmills. 

The brunette rolled his eyes. “Just wanted see what his problem was, you know, before he annihilates my whole gym.” He gestured the already destroyed punching bag on the floor, an unimpressed look on his face.

“Give me a break, Stark.” Steve sighed before realizing that he was going to get nothing done, particularly now that these two had arrived. He moved to the benches along the wall and began to unwrap his hands.

“Why should I?” Tony quipped, before coming upon a realization. “Ah. You miss your little girlfriend, don’t you?”

“It’s the first time that Y/N’s had to travel away since she moved in here. So yes, I do.”

Y/N, being an actress with high demands, often had to go away for filming, press, premieres, and more. Most of the time, Steve was okay with it. He understood that she had places to be, especially since he had a such a time consuming job himself. But since the couple began living with each other, they’d basically been attached at the hip, and separation was extremely difficult. Even if it was just filming for a single week in Los Angeles.

“I see, I see. You’re angry and horny.” Stark nodded, earning a harsh glare from the Captain. “What? It’s perfectly explainable. Though, not a reason to ruin my equipment, considering that she comes back tonight. But still, explainable. Hell, I’d be pretty pissed if I didn’t have sex for a week, too.”

“Just vanilla sex.” The pair heard the redhead mumble, who still hadn’t looked up from her treadmill’s display screen, and was oblivious to the attention suddenly being on her.

“What did you just say?” Tony asked, his lips beginning to form into a smirk.

“Oh, me?” Natasha tried to brush it off, having honestly not meant to say that. “Nothing.”

“Really?” Tony rose his eyebrows. “Because to me, it sounded like you said ‘vanilla sex’.”

“I didn’t mean it.” The assassin lied, continuing to run a steady pace.

Stark completely ignored her statement. “And you said it when referring to Steve and Y/N’s sex. Oh goodness, this is hysterical. Do you know something, Natasha, that we don’t?”

“What does ‘vanilla sex’ mean?” Steve questioned, beginning to get worried of what their answer will be.

“You know, boring, ordinary, plain… vanilla.” Tony explained, his grin never dying. “Who told you that, Romanoff?” He slyly moved over to the treadmills, and leaned a hand on the one that she was using. Steve’s slightly nervous face was just urging him on even more. “Because Rogers, over here, certainly didn’t say it. So by default, it must have been, hm… Y/N.”

“Well-“

“Did she?” The Captain interrupted her, his frown now extremely prominent to them. “Did she say that our sex was ’vanilla’?”

“Um, well… yes.” Natasha spoke, stopping the exercise to give Steve her full attention. The newly formed slump in his posture did not go unnoticed.

“Oh.” The man spoke, now having a hard time putting words together. “I-I thought she liked it.” He gulped, beginning to have flashbacks to all of the women that rejected him in his early years.

“She did!” Natasha tried to cheer him up. “A whole lot.”

“Doesn’t sound like it.” Steve ground his teeth.

“No, I swear!” The woman continued. “She loves that ‘babydoll’ thing you do. And-And, uh, you said ‘good girl’ once. She told me that she went crazy inside!”

Steve listened intently, trying to take notes in his head.

“Damn, Cap.” Tony chuckled. “Sounds like you’ve got yourself a submissive little lover.”

The blonde ignored him. “Why didn’t she tell me any of this then?”

Natasha sighed, moving over to her gym bag to collect her belongings. “Because she loves you, and she doesn’t want you to think she’s weird.”

“Oh. I would never-“

“Exactly.” Romanoff stated. “Tell her that. Ask her to show you what she likes. Communicate.”

Steve nodded his head. “Thanks for the new information.” And without another word, slung his bag over his shoulder, exiting the gymnasium.

The other two Avengers just shook their heads and continued on, completely unaware of their Captains plans to make Y/N’s first night back the best night yet.

*****

An odd mix of awkwardness and sexual tension filled the atmosphere of the Stark Tower elevator. Steve had just picked Y/N up from the airport, excited to get his hands on his girl once again. Seven days apart was just seven too many for the pair, and as soon as the got within closed doors, they were on top each other. Y/N was caged in between Steve and the elevator’s wall, letting out small moans into his mouth as they kissed. The moment was pure bliss for the two, finally being reunited after what seemed like the longest week of their lives. What they hadn’t expected though, was the elevator doors opening to the one and only Dr. Bruce Banner.

After a moment of shock and the couple chaotically separating from each other, the scientist quietly shuffled into the lift. He leaned against the wall, making sure it was opposite of the one that Steve and Y/N we’re just making out against.

“So,” Bruce broke the silence after an uncomfortable minute, “how was your trip, Y/N?”

“Uh, it was really good.” She smiled halfheartedly, trying not to mind the fact that she was absolutely disheveled. “Lots of sun down there.”

Banner just nodded his head, eyes focused on the floor.

“How was your day, Bruce?” Steve nicely asked, hoping that there wasn’t any of Y/N’s lipgloss smeared on his face.

“It was fine.” 

The hum of the elevator was the only thing heard, until a small ‘ding’ alerted Steve and Y/N that it was their time to get off.

“Nice seeing you.” The girl gave a tiny wave as she stepped out.

“Yes, you too.” Banner politely smiled, but the couple didn’t miss the way it quickly disappeared when he thought that they were out of eyesight.

The elevator doors finally closed, leaving the couple alone at last. Steve placed down her luggage, that he was carrying, and Y/N let out a huge sigh.

“Well, that-“ She was cut off by Steve’s lips once again attaching themselves onto hers.

He quickly swept her up into his strong arms, her legs involuntary wrapping themselves around his waist. Y/N’s back met the wall, the door, and finally the bed as she was harshly shoved upon it, almost as harshly as Steve’s hands squeezed her ass. His lips trailed down her neck and chest, giving rough bites along the way.

“Wait, wait, Steve.” She said when he finally gave her the chance, tapping his shoulder multiple times to get his attention.

“Ya?” He reluctantly lifted his head from her still clothed chest.

“Wha-What the hell was that?” Y/N asked him, eyebrows furrowed.

“What was what?”

“That. You never act like that-that rough.” She was confused at his new change behaviour. Normally her Steve was much more gentle.

He sighed and shook his head, before getting off of her to stand up. “There’s just no pleasing you, is there?”

“Huh?” Y/N spoke, still laid out on the bed.

“I thought that you wanted this.” Steve was frustrated. All that he wanted to do was please her and she was making it impossible.

“I never said that.” She told him.

“I was trying to make things better for you.” He continued pacing angrily. “I didn’t want you think that our sex was... ‘vanilla’!”

Y/N gasped and sat up straight. “D-Did Natasha-?”

“Yes. Natasha told me.” Steve stated. He finally took a breath and placed his hands in his lips.

She gulped. “Nat promised to not-”

“So you did say it?”

Y/N had never seen the man look so hurt. “Well, yes. But-”

Steve puffed a breath before turning around to face away from her.

“But, Steve.” She stood up and quickly walked to the place in front of him, making them face to face. “I wasn’t meaning it in a bad way.”

“There’s only one way to mean it, Y/N.” He frowned.

“It’s not your fault, though. I never told you any of this.” She placed her hands on his broad shoulders, and rubbed in what she hoped was a comforting manner. 

“Then tell me.” Steve spoke up. “Tell me how you like it.”

“What if you think I’m a weirdo?” Y/N asked.

“Not possible. Look, uhm...” He separated from her touch, walking across the room to Y/N’s small laptop that sat on their dresser. “Let’s research.”

“Research?” She giggled.

“Ya! Come on, we can look things up on the internet. Sex things.” Steve added, a smile finally beginning to form in his face. “You tell me what you like, I’ll tell you what I like. We can make a night out of it!”

“Ok.” Y/N beamed at how adorable her boyfriend was being.

The couple took off their shoes and socks to get comfortable, before Steve grabbed the laptop and moved to sit on the bed first. “C’mon, babydoll.” He smirked, patting his lap. Y/N slightly licked her lips and Steve could completely sense the increase in her arousal. “There’s one! That turned you on, I can tell.”

Y/N blushed. “You caught me.”

The couple sat there for almost an hour, going through countless lists of sexual kinks and activities online. Y/N in Steve’s lap, the laptop in her’s. She offered to let him try using it, maybe help him get used to technology, but he declined. He knew that she could get it done much faster, and instead, Steve had the job of scribbling down some of their opinions on his notepad.

“Foot fetish.” Y/N read off from one of the kinky websites they were on. “You got one?” She asked, playfully rubbing his bare feet with her smaller ones.

“I wouldn’t say so.” He answered with a small chuckle. “Though your’s are quite adorable.”

“Their way to ticklish to anything with, anyways.” Y/N added, continuing to scroll through.

“What’s ‘urophilia’?” Steve questioned from over her shoulder.

“Um, you know... peeing on each other.”

“Sounds messy.” He remarked, making Y/N laugh.

“Swinging, group sex, threesomes?” She listed off, already knowing her own opinion on them.

“I don’t share.” Steve stated, making her turn slightly to face him.

“That works out, because I don’t want to be shared.” Y/N smiled, giving him a peck on the lips before turning back to the website. “Anal sex?”

“Jesus.” He puffed out a breath. “How do you feel about that one?”

“I’m not sure, to be honest.” She contemplated. “But never say never.”

Steve glanced up from his notes to the small computer screen, and read off the next one. “Dominance and submission?”

“Well... maybe that would be something I’d want to try.” Y/N told him, playing with his fingers sheepishly.

“I think we found a winner.” Steve joked. “My little submissive girl.”

“Wait.” She turned to face him once again. “Now, how did you know that I want to be the submissive one?”

He raised his eyebrows. “I still remember when we made out on our fifth date, and you told me that you liked it when I was dominant with you.”

Y/N scrunched up her nose. “You and your stupid eidetic memory.”

Steve let out a laugh before grabbing the computer from her and closing the screen, setting it and the notepad down on his bedside table.

“What was that for?” She asked him.

His big hands grabbed her hips and completely turned her so she was straddling him, eye to eye. “I’m getting impatient, sweetheart. All of this sex talk is making me want to get down to business.”

Y/N giggled and bit her bottom lip.

“Just tell me, my love. Lay it on me.” Steve encouraged. “All of it, every last thing. What do you like?”

She began to relax, the feeling of him rubbing circles on her hips with his thumbs being comforting. “Okay... so yes, I do like it when you’re dominant and I’m submissive. But, I don’t necessarily like being hurt that much.”

“Like whips and things?” Steve questioned.

“Ya, I don’t really think I want that.” Y/N told him. “To be honest, how rough you are doesn’t really matter to me. A lot of what I like is psychological.”

“Explain, darling.”

“Well, like, you know... names and stuff.” She picked at her fingers nervously, never having had a conversation like this before. Y/N was a virgin until she met Steve, and these secrets were buried deep inside of her.

“Like the name ‘babydoll’?” He assumed, toying with the straps of her sundress.

“Including that, yes.” She gulped. “But, there’s a bit more to it than that. I, uh...”

“Hey.” Steve lifted up her chin and rubbed her jawline soothingly. “No secrets, remember?”

Y/N nodded with small smile. “Have you, um, have you ever heard of a ‘daddy kink’?”

He furrowed his eyebrows. “A ‘daddy kink’? Like, a kink about your father?”

“No!” She shook her head repeatedly. “Not my father. It’s not a father kink, or a dad kink. It’s a daddy kink.” Y/N watched as Steve’s head tilted even harsher in confusion, and let out a sigh. “Forget it, it’s stupid.”

He stopped her from moving off of his lap by placing a strong arm around her torso. “No, I’m not going to forget it until you at least explain this whole thing to me.” Steve could see the doubt still in her beautiful eyes. “I won’t judge you, doll.”

“Fine. Um, a daddy kink is where a man is the ‘daddy’ role, and the woman is the ‘little girl’ role. Or it’s a ‘little boy’, depending on the circumstances.” Y/N explained, trying to stay confident in her decision to share this with him. “A-And it’s not that I picture my father or anything, ew, gross.” Steve chuckled, urging her on. “It’s you calling me your ‘baby girl’ and ‘princess’, rewarding me when I’m good, punishing me when I’m bad. It’s that I like feeling safe and protected and nurtured, but yet also dominated.” She finished, letting out the huge breath that she was holding.

“There. That wasn’t so hard to explain, was it?” He smiled at her. “And it’s nothing to be ashamed about. The idea of protecting and nurturing you is actually quite... sexy to me, if I’m being honest.”

“Really?” Y/N asked hopefully.

“Yes, really.” Steve rubbed her lower back. “I’d be more than willing to try this stuff out with you,” he lightly pushed her closer and whispered in her ear, “my little girl.” The sound of Steve calling her that sent chills down Y/N’s spine, and he instantly picked up on it. “Oh yes, I can already see the effect on you, baby. I bet you’re already dripping wet for me.” One of his hands ventured further south, slipping underneath her dress and into her underwear.

Y/N gasped at the feeling of Steve’s left thumb and forefinger slightly push into her opening at the same time.

He pulled the hand out and inspected it, watching her juices gleam in the light from their lamp. Steve let out a huge smirk, realizing that all of this was because of him. “One for me.” He licked off the index finger. “And one for you.”

Y/N glanced at the dripping thumb hesitantly, realizing that Steve expected her to suck off her own juices.

“C’mon, babydoll. Open up.” He urged, bringing the digit closer to her mouth. “Be a good girl for your daddy.”

And there it was, the final word. After their intense discussion, Y/N was relatively sure that he would say it sometime or another. But actually hearing him, in his deep, husky voice call himself ‘daddy’, she was pretty sure that she could cum right then and there.

So, Y/N did what she was told and opened up, taking his thick thumb in her mouth. Her juices were kind of sweet, a little tangy, but the real turn on was Steve’s facial expression as he watched her do it. He looked so turned on and it made her proud, as all she wanted was to be good for him.

Y/N released his thumb with a quiet ‘pop’ and licked her lips.

“My girl is such a good listener, doing exactly what her daddy tells her.” Steve praised, watching her pupils dilate by his every word.

“Thank you.” She said to him, voice becoming much smaller than it was earlier, a fact that Steve picked up on.

“‘Thank you’ who?”

“Thank you, daddy.” Y/N smiled, glad that Steve seemed to be enjoying this as much as she was. At least, that’s what the hard evidence pressed against her inner thigh said.

“Hmm... what am I ‘gonna do with you tonight?” He smirked, trying to formulate their evening plans in his head. This was Y/N’s first time completely opening up to him, and Steve wanted to make it perfect. “On your knees, baby girl.”

She did exactly as he told her, getting on the carpeted floor with no complaints. Steve was taking to this dominant role very well, and though it didn’t surprise her, it delighted her to no end.

He dropped his brown leather belt to the floor, before pulling down his khakis and boxer briefs, kicking them off of his ankles.

Y/N, once again, stared wide eyed at his huge erection, the size never ceasing to amaze her.

“You know what to do, baby.” Steve nodded down at her, watching as she opened her mouth wide and took him in. The feeling of the warm opening made him groan, throwing his head back. “Fuck, Y/N.”

She continued to bob her head up and down, taking enjoyment to the feeling of Steve’s big hands weaving themselves into her hair. He was forcing himself further down her throat, and she welcomed every inch.

Y/N wrapped her hands around his dick, as well, rubbing all of the areas that her mouth couldn’t reach. She could feel Steve beginning to fall apart inside of her, tasting his salty precum.

“Oh, god. Sweetie, stop, stop, stop.” He reluctantly pulled Y/N off of him, knowing that if she continued as she did, he’d cum too early.

“Did I mess up, daddy?” She asked, big E/C eyes staring up at him.

“Quite the opposite, princess.” Steve leaned down to pick up Y/N from under the arms, and placed her on the large bed. “You were so good, that daddy wants to reward you.”

He slipped off her panties, immediately licking a stripe up her pussy. “Oh, god. D-Daddy, that feels so nice.” She moaned, subconsciously tightening her thighs around his head. Steve’s hands decided to roughly grasp them, pulling her opening even closer to his stubbled cheeks.

His warm tongue rotated between circling her clit and teasing her opening, a fact that made Y/N’s hands claw at the stark white sheets. “I-I’m ‘gonna-“

“You’re ‘gonna what?” Steve questioned, taking a small pause from lapping at her core before immediately going back to it. The taste of her on his tongue was just too tempting. “Use your big girl words, babydoll.” He rasped against her clit, the vibrations arousing her even more.

“C-Cum. I’m ‘gonna cum.” Y/N stuttered out, hands grasping his blonde locks. And without warning, her hot, sticky juices flooded Steve’s mouth. He made sure to lick up every delicious drop, before standing up and throwing off his shirt.

Steve glanced down at his mess of a girlfriend on the bed, admiring his work. Y/N’s dress was bunched up around her hips, her cheeks flushed red, and hair strewn. But to him, she never looked more gorgeous.

“Tired, baby?” Steve basically taunted, knowing that he was going to wreck her even more no matter what her answer was.

Y/N nodded in response, the heavy breathing not allowing her to do much more.

“Well,” he began to crawl up the bed, getting closer to her, “that’s too bad, because daddy’s not done with you yet.”

Y/N inhaled a breath as Steve harshly lifted the dress over head, chucking it on the ground. He grabbed her waist and flipped her over, sending a hard smack to her bare ass.

“You going to be a good girl and take daddy’s cock?” He grunted in her ear before stepping away to grab a condom from the beside table, putting it on.

“Yes, daddy.” Y/N whined, lightly pushing her bottom against his member when he moved closer, practically begging for him to give it to her.

“That’s what I thought.” Steve stated, and without warning, pushed inside of her dripping hole. “Fuck, baby girl.” He groaned at the feeling of her walls around him.

Steve began to thrust in and out of her at a brutal pace, the sight of her being helpless beneath him making him uncontrollable. He reached one hand around their bodies and began to play with her breasts, hearing Y/N moan even louder.

Her face met the bedding, having a hard time keeping herself up as he fucked her from behind. Steve’s thick member was hitting all of the right spots of inside of her, and each time he squeezed her nipples, she felt even closer to cumming.

“D-Daddy.” Y/N mewled, feeling his other hand move southern to her clit. The combined stimulation of him touching her breasts, clitoris, and pounding into her vagina was all too much. So with a high pitched moan, she came for the second time that night.

“Damn, little girl. You’re going to make daddy cum.” Steve growled in her ear, leaning down to leave sloppy kisses on her upper back.

Y/N, knowing that he was on edge, used all of the power that she could muster to give his cock and particularly strong clench. She began to grind her hips back into his, finally triggering his release.

“Fuck, doll.” Steve spoke as he came inside of the condom, heavier than he’s ever cum before.

The couple stayed in position, panting, for a minute before he slowly pulled out of her. Y/N immediately collapsed on the bed as Steve threw out the used condom, joining her quickly after.

“Wow.” She breathed out, turning over on her back. “You were really good at that dominant daddy thing.”

Steve lightly chuckled. “Well, strategizing is what I do best.”

Y/N finally moved on her side to face him, grabbing his left hand in her right one. “I’m so sorry, Steve, about what you found out earlier.”

“Don’t worry about it.” He shook his head with a sigh, rubbing her palm with the pads of his fingers.

She retracted her hand and leaned up on her elbow, looking in to his shiny blue eyes. “No, no. You shouldn’t have had to hear it and I definitely shouldn’t have said it. It was disrespectful to you and I’m very sorry.” Y/N’s other hand stroked his arm, trying to express how apologetic she was really feeling. “Our first time together was one of the best nights of my whole life. And vanilla or not, I truly love having sex with you.”

Steve leaned up on his elbow as well, giving her his full attention. “Listen, baby. The way I’m looking at it, if that wouldn’t have happened, this wouldn’t have happened. So I more than forgive you. I love you, Y/N.” He tucked a stray H/C hair behind her ear. “And I will be your ‘daddy’ as long as you want me to.”

 She giggled and gave him a nod. “I love you too.”

The pair laid down flat on their backs, and Steve pulled Y/N into his side. They simply relaxed in each other’s company, thankful to even have these small moments of tranquility in their busy lives. The room smelt of sweat, sex, and love, but they wouldn’t have it any other way.

“So,” Steve interrupted the silence with a sly grin, “another round?”

Ah, that damn super soldier stamina was going to be the death of her.

Next Chapter

Feedback is always welcome!❤️

[anyway-i-love-vanderwood]

RFA - Proposals!

✿ This is for @salarinnar​, who wrote, 

Hello! I love your writing style so I thought I'd donate! How about MC asking the RFA + the minor trio to marry her? With all that getting on one knee and giving them a proposal ring jazz. Bless u.:) 

Thanks so much! I actually did the minor trio proposing to MC awhile ago here, so here’s the rest of the RFA!

(If you’d like a guaranteed request fill, but me a coffee on my Ko-Fi!

Yoosung

His mother puts the idea in his head, asking him when he’s finally going to propose to that lovely person he’s been seeing for so long. Yoosung swallows, nervous – it’s not that he doesn’t’ want to marry you. In fact, he’s looking forward to it, and often daydreams about having a happily married existence like his own parents share. But… he’s just…

Worried. He’s scared that he won’t be the right kind of guy for you, and he’s worried that you’ve changed your mind and don’t love him as much as he loves you.

So he frets. He asks his mom about how his father proposed, he asks his LOLOL friends how they proposed – hell, he asks V how he proposed, being so desperate to get input that he’ll put aside his own feelings for the man.

He gets a variety of answers, files them away, and keeps thinking.

When he takes you out to romantic movies, he watches your reaction to the lovey-dovey scenes carefully, taking inspiration from what you say about how the characters handle their own proposals. He reads books, he browses forum threads… and he thinks and overthinks the matter, trying to figure out how to best ask for your hand.

Yoosung gets the ring while he’s STILL not sure how to propose to you, and as he’s walking home from the store, he gets a panicked call on his cell.

You’ve found a baby bird and it’s broken it’s WING and YOOSUNG HELP you DON’T’ WANT IT TO DIE, PLEASE COME QUICKLY.

(you’re crying, and so he runs.)

Using his veterinarian skills, Yoosung helps you save the bird’s life, and you’re just so… happy and thankful and you hug him, telling him that he’s the best, and Yoosung falls in love with you all over again. You’re so kind! You’re so gentle! You’re so loving!

You’re so kind to everyone, even the smallest of animals, and on complete impulse, he gets on one knee and busts out his newly acquired ring.

It’s poorly thought out. It’s spur-of-the-moment. But he’ll never forget the way you light up and hug him, saying “yes!” over and over.

The two of you laugh about it afterwards, and decide that was probably the most memorable way it could have happened.

Zen

Zen knows you are completely and entirely perfect and, therefore, he knows that his proposal to you needs to be completely and entirely perfect in return. How he achieves this Holy Grail of Marital Intent, though, is a matter of some internal debate.

He considers going to stereotypical route of wining and dining you, but that’s a.) not really very him and b.) he can’t think of any restaurant that matches up to the vivacity that is you. Besides, he’s not really on-the-ball on the whole… restaurant scene, being that he’s a loser who can barely keep anything more than beer in his fridge.

He also considers surprising you on a date, like – at the zoo, or the aquarium. Or maybe on television in front of thousands during one of his on-screen appearances? But then it’s pointed out to him that, oops, a public proposal basically pressures you into saying yes, doesn’t it? And, if you do say no, it’d open you up to the onslaught of thousands of his angry fans.

No. He wants this to be between you and him, where you make a decision about your future that he’ll respect and appreciate either way… so he thinks more, and decides to go back to the roots of your early relationship.

He decides to take you stargazing.

Zen parks his motorcycle in front of your apartment one night, furiously texting you and begging you to come outside for an impromptu date. He already kind of checked to make sure you didn’t have anything planned, but he’s still over the moon when you a.) don’t get mad he rolled up the street at 11PM and b.) he hadn’t given you any notice.

(he thought it would be more romantic like that.)

You come outside to find him with a picnic basket strapped to the back of his motorcycle and a big smile on his face, and shaking your head, you get on behind him and let him take you on whatever wacky adventure he has planned.

He takes you up to your special place in the mountains, his jacket protecting your body from the cold and his back shielding your face. You have your arms around him, and you’ve never felt someone’s warmth as intently as in that moment.

The basket is full of all of your favorite foods, no matter how ‘dumb’ and ‘unromantic’ they are. Do you get all of your nutritional content from potato chips? That is ok, Zen has packed all the best flavors. There’s also a blanket, which he spreads out for you, and you lie back and look at the perfectly clear, beautifully expansive sky.

You and Zen talk for awhile, pointing out constellations and making your own, when he gets quiet and reaches into his pocket for something. He starts talking about how big the world is, and how happy he found you – you’re like his north star in the darkness of the night. And then he turns on his side, opening the box and looking at you with complete and total sincerity.

Will you marry him? He asks, with only the chirping crickets and the sound of the wind for company.

Of course you say yes. How could you not? And when you put the diamond on your finger, you reach out to touch the sky, and admire how the stone looks like one of those stars glimmering above.

Jaehee

Jaehee takes you to the aquarium.

It’s an atypical spot, which makes since given that she’s an atypical woman. You’re kind of expecting that Jaehee is going to pop the question sometime soon, as she’s been asking about your feelings regarding the future, settling down, etc, but when she invites you out that cool, rainy Saturday, you don’t really expect it’s going to happen then.

She does it near the end of the day, after she’s taken you to the dolphin show and endured you stopping at every exhibit and pointing out which fish represented which members of the RFA. (She bust a gut laughing when you said the flounder was Jumin.) You’ve already had lunch, and are thinking about going when you stop in the shark room, which is more of a tunnel than a room, really. The walls are completely made of glass and, all around you, you can an awe-inspiring assortment of fish swimming around you (and above you!) in a mysterious room lit by an ethereal blue glow.

You find an empty spot to stand, and you press your hands against the glass, completely entranced. Jaehee watches your profile, and then taps twice on your shoulder, sinking onto one knee when you look down at her.

She tells you, as she presents a ring to you in the dim light, that her entire life… she’s felt like she’s been living in a fish-tank. Confined, restrained, where she’s just been surviving under people’s apathetic gazes. She’s never felt like she could explore. Never felt like she could go on an adventure, because her entire world was defined by walls of unbreakable glass.

…Until she met you.

Now she believes in things. Now she dreams. Now she smiles, laughs, and no longer feels like she’s just some specimen kept behind a cold, unfeeling wall. And – no matter what you say, yes or no – that knowledge will always stay with her.

Will you… accompany her beyond the glass walls you’ve helped her shatter? Together?

(In the flickering, wavering light, you smile as wide as the sun and say, yes.)

Jumin

It takes a little bit for Jumin to propose, and before he does so, he takes you on a whirlwind tour of the globe using his private jet and vast amounts of money.

You eat baguettes in France. You see the architecture of Prague. He takes you on a tour of the castles of Scotland, and says that one day, he’d like to build one for Elizabeth the III. You go see the mountains of Iceland and the parks of Oslo, the beaches of Bermuda and see the sunset off the coast of Fiji. You sip margaritas, daiquiris, and pina coladas, you go horseback riding, you take pottery classes with Jumin and laugh as you make mistakes.

You go to art exhibits. Concerts. You go to parties and meet people, and you drag Jumin out on forest hikes in the dim, lonely woods. You see snow, rain, sunshine, you go to street markets and film festivals – you even go fishing with him and watch him pay a five-star chef to prepare what he caught into a delectable dish for the local catlife.

The two of you go to Istanbul, a land famous for its large population of street cats, and Jumin is content in a land that’s devoted to his favorite feline friends.

And… at the end of it, on a quiet, deserted beach at the end of the day, he pops the question.

He wanted you to see the world before he asked you to marry him, because he doesn’t want you to ever feel confined when you’re with him. He wanted you to know what’s out there before you settled down, and now that you’ve gotten a taste of so much the earth has to offer…

Do you want to stay with him still?

You say yes, saying that – while travelling was fun – it wouldn’t have been half as amazing without him there by your side. Wanting to go feed cats, falling off his horse, sharing food with him and laughing… The world’s amazing, yes, but it’s twice as amazing when you get to experience it with him.

For once in his life, Jumin is chosen because he is him, and because he made your travels worthwhile… and he smiles, thanking God once more that he got a chance to experience what life is like with you.

Seven

This man has an entire notebook full of ideas on how to propose to you.

There are so many good options! In the climactic moment of an epic laser-gun battle? Waved in the sky on the banner of a sport-class airplane? Using a small army of drones? Via youtube video? Oh man, he could do the classic “write it using the high-scores on an arcade machine”… but is that too cliché, by this point?

He only gets one chance to propose, so he should make it th-

Wait.

Who, exactly, said he had only one chance to propose?

(Seven sits down and begins to imagine the possibilities.)

He launches off the 2017 “War of Proposals” through a singing telegram delivered by a man cosplaying as Starshine Nyah-Nyah (from your favorite magical girl anime). Said war is a contest of strength, skill, and one-uppmanship, where the both of you compete to give the other more elaborate and unexpected proposals until one of you emerges the victor – and is allowed to have the “canon” one true proposal.

HELL YES, you say, and begin to plot.

You propose to him at the pool, by getting a dance studio to perform a choreographed routine in the water which ends up spelling out, “Please marry me!”

He proposes to you in the movie theatre, where he rents out adspace that he uses to play a video he’s constructed where he waxes eloquent about how amazing you are.

You propose to him in the air and space museum, where you drop out of one of the airplanes with an explosion of balloons and the words, “Seven, will you marry me?” emblazoned on your face like war paint.

He proposes to you by paying a bunch of newbies in LOLOL to die with their corpses spelling out “Will you spend your life with me?”

You continue to trade blows like this for an entire month. Television, radio, the internet – everywhere, there are traces of your continual war. It isn’t until he takes you on a trip to New York and then hacks into the Time Square billboards to deliver his heartfelt and impassioned request that he finally wins, because you cannot think of a way to one-up that.

You do, however, help Seven evade the cops after that, which he is content to call a “draw” in the end.

(The two of you were so busy plotting that neither actually bought a ring, so you go to the jewelry store and chose matching ones together.)

[itsadrizzit]

Fandom Snowflake Challenge: Day 8

Day 8

In your own space, share a favorite piece of original canon (a TV episode, a song, a favorite interview, a book, a scene from a movie, etc) and explain why you love it so much.

Okay. So, Wow.

I actually struggled today to figure out what I wanted to talk about, not because I didn’t know, but because there is SO MUCH. It’s funny, because I say all the time “I’m pretty mono-fannish”. And that’s mostly true when it comes to the fanworks I gravitate towards creating and less true when it comes to the fanworks I gravitate towards consuming, but IT IS A HUGE LIE when it comes to canon source material I enjoy. So, I had to think, out of all the things you enjoy and all the shows you watch or books you read or football teams you love or video game(s) you play, what stands out. What are like…THE THINGS that grabbed you and moved you.

It’s interesting, right, because I think I consume things differently than much of fandom. I’ve watched shows and movies with people and watched them shriek and screech and wriggle around and gasp and laugh and I……..don’t. I just don’t. I’ll cry if something is particularly sad (by which I mean relatable, like, I know what that feels like because I have been through it or can imagine being through it), but it’s never like full out sobbing, just like, oh I teared up a bit at that part because it was moving. I just don’t have the extreme reactions to things that others do (football is an exception. Football is always an exception. I rarely get through important/impactful football matches without a lot of whale-like noises and folding into myself or collapsing facedown onto the sofa. It’s more about player interactions than the actual match 95% of the time though–digression)

So…what moves me. What canon material so impacted me to deep levels that it provoked some strong emotional response? Well………..let’s start with the single episode of television that almost broke me and had me not once, but twice, pausing the episode to sit on my sofa with my face in my hands sobbing uncontrollably. Those of you who have been around for a while may know what this is. I’ve seen it once. I own the season of the show on Blu-Ray and I HAVE NEVER WATCHED IT AGAIN despite us now being more than five years removed from its occurrence. Even now I was going to find the video and was like……do you want to do it? Are you ready? I don’t think you’re ready.

Of what do I speak, friends???

Doctor Who (new Who). Season 7. Episode 5. Angels Take Manhattan.

Now, I hear some of you out there saying “well yes, of course. That episode was sad. It was epically sad. It was SUPPOSED to be sad.” You’re right, friends, you’re right. Now let me tell you about my connection with Amelia Pond and the incomparable Rory Williams.

From day 1, I loved Amy Pond. Loved her. She was everything to me. I’d liked the show before, enjoyed companions, had a good time, but with Amy I had a connection. Being the weird girl in school who no one understood. Although I didn’t face any of the abandonment that Amy did, I knew what it was like to be a child and have adults let you down. I understood her. I related to her. I always say she’s my favourite companion, and that’s true…sort of. In truth, the Ponds as an entity are my favourite. Here’s why.

Their relationship has SO MANY PARALLELS WITH MY OWN. Like…just…I love Rory. I love the way Rory loves Amy. I love the way Amy loves Rory. I love that they are best friends first and that they would do anything for one another. I love that it seems like sometimes they can’t stand one another and that is how you know they are so deep in love. I have this kind of relationship. I married my best friend and he would do ANYTHING for me. Anything. I know this. He HAS done ridiculous things for me just because I asked him to. I say all the time that he’s the Rory to my Amy and all our friends who know us just give deliberate, knowing nods of agreement. The whole Pandorica situation…he would do that. Turning into a soldier to wait for me for eternity…100%. Anything I ask, he’ll do it without question (or well, with a lot of questions and probably no shortage of skeptical looks and asking me if I’m sure that’s not an absolutely rubbish idea). People who see us together either LOVE us or are SO CONFUSED by us. Just…THAT RELATIONSHIP IS MY RELATIONSHIP. Hard stop. I saw a meme once that said something about wishing for the Rory to my Amy and I was like Y'ALL I HAVE THAT AND IT IS AS BEAUTIFUL AS YOU THINK IT IS.

So. This should tell you something, if you’re familiar with the episode, about why that particular episode of a show I otherwise tend to enjoy but am not rabid over by any means. It’s a good show. I like it. I’ve never been the one who knows all the trivia and has all the gear, etc. etc. etc. I watch it. I enjoy it. I admit that it has ENORMOUS PLOT HOLES ALL OVER THE PLACE. But that episode. Oh, that episode. That episode isn’t about the Ponds leaving. It isn’t about the Doctor. It isn’t just about the Doctor being separated from these people he’s become close to…it is about how much Amy and Rory love one another.

Spoilers ahead if you haven’t seen it and still don’t know what happens, I guess.

Also, listen, I don’t remember all the facts about that episode. I barely remember what happened in that episode save these TWO PIVOTAL MOMENTS.

So…near the end, but not at the end, some stuff has happened and there are two Rorys. The Doctor tells Rory (the younger) that he’ll be imprisoned until he dies, but without Amy. So what does Rory–sweet, beautiful, wonderful, amazing Rory–do? He says HELL NO because he cannot imagine a life in which he grows old without Amelia Pond, EVEN THOUGH IT MEANS THAT RORY IS RISKING HIS LIFE. So here’s me already starting to tear up like…that’s beautiful, Rory, beautiful, but I’m still fine. Still watching.

And then comes the scene on the roof.

Rory sees that the only way out of his situation is to jump off the roof of this building which will keep the angels from imprisoning him alone which will create a time paradox which will kill the angels. So. 1. Rory would rather DIE than spend the rest of his life alone without Amy and 2. Rory will sacrifice his life to SAVE Amy.

BUT THEN! Amy. My girl Amy. She says no. And she asks him the most important question of all “If it were me, could you do it?” And Rory can’t say yes. He can’t. In that moment he knows that what he’s asking her to do is the same thing that he couldn’t do himself…live a life without him. And it’s just……..

So there’s me. Balled up in the corner of my sofa with my lovely, beautiful, wonderful husband just on the other side and I am SOBBING UNCONTROLLABLY. So much so that he has to pause the episode at that point. And why am I sobbing…BECAUSE I KNOW OUR STORY WOULD HAVE ENDED THE SAME WAY. Because he couldn’t stand the idea of a life without me and I couldn’t stand the idea of a life without him so in an instant we would have looked at one another the same way and thought “Fuck it, we’re going to save the world together.” It would have been that way. It will be that way if we’re ever in some bizarre situation where we come down to it. Like, honestly, I cannot imagine life without him. Cannot. Refuse to do it. So when Rory was saying all these things about doing this for Amy I was like RORY THAT IS BULLSHIT AND YOU KNOW IT. YOU KNOW YOU’RE NOT DOING ANYTHING FOR AMY EXCEPT KILLING HER SOUL THE MOMENT YOU’RE GONE.Like, he was confident he’d come back, but what if. WHAT IF. If he was right, they would both be fine. If he was wrong, they’d both effectively be dead anyway.

Forty-five minutes. Forty-five minutes I sat on that sofa and I sobbed and screamed and sobbed. Because it was so real to me. It was everything. Like, I sometimes wonder what would happen to one of us if the other were to die one day and I just…can’t. I cannot imagine one of us existing without the other one. I know we used to, a long time ago, nearly half my life ago now, but I just….can’t.

So okay. I’ve finally calmed down (mostly) enough for us to resume the episode. And they are back. And they are fine. And they are together. Great. Lovely. Beautiful. I’m fine now. I can breathe again.

AND THEN THE END COMES.

And it was all for nothing. Rory still got stuck in the alternate time and he still had to grow old and HE WAS STILL ALONE. And Amy…she doesn’t even hesitate. She isn’t even afraid. She knows that she needs to be with Rory. The choice is between staying with the Doctor without Rory and letting Rory be trapped there without her or leaving her whole life behind to be with Rory and SHE KNOWS THAT IS NOT A CHOICE. I just watched this again to embed the video and I’m crying all over again, because, yeah, Amy…YOU WILL BE WITH HIM and that is worth giving up EVERYTHING ELSE IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE. No question. No struggle. No wavering. I would have done the same thing and I would do the same thing a million times over because what good is keeping a hold on my life if it means we have to spend the rest of it apart?

So I sobbed uncontrollably on the sofa for another 45 straight minutes and I never watched either of those scenes again until today and I am crying again and I will never, ever, ever, ever, ever be over this and it is one of the single best episodes of television I have ever seen in my entire life.

I was going to talk about some other things here, but I think this is enough. I think we should leave it here. Thanks for reading if you made it this far. I’m going to go hug my husband with absolutely no context right now.

(P.S. If you need an Amy/Rory mood cleanser, please see a fanvideo that my friends and I like to make my husband watch on the regular just to remind him that he’s the Rory to my Amy always and forever:

You Told the Drunks I Knew Karate by Settiai

[violet--minds-blog]

Why Bisexual Rep Is Important

Piper Gibson | March 17, 2017 (Note: This was written on September 23, 2016, so anything that has occurred in the shows mentioned in terms of representation may be missing. If so please let me know and I’ll correct it!) In honor of Bisexual Visibility Day, I wrote a little something. And if you’re curious why this day is named for visibility, not celebration or appreciation, then just read on.

So, it’s not that I didn’t know gay people existed when I was a kid.

I knew. I grew up watching Friends, after all; Ross’s ex-wife Carol and her partner Susan were lesbians. I watched Ellen with my grandma. When Glee first aired I was in eighth grade. I knew that there were people out there that were gay, and we had family friends that are gay that I’d met once or twice. But I had no fucking clue about anything else, and I definitely didn’t know what the hell “bisexual” meant until I was in my teens.

I don’t have a specific memory of learning about the word, but there was certainly a few years of a gap between gaining the knowledge and applying it to myself. I figured it out somewhere around junior year of high school, and came out to my parents in the winter of my senior year. All that time I’d liked girls and hadn’t accepted it, hadn’t let myself feel it. The first time I was suicidal l was twelve, and it was because I had a crush on a girl and didn’t know what to do or how to feel about it.

This is why bisexual representation matters. Because even though I’d seen representations for lesbians and gay men as a kid, I’d never seen me on television. I’d never even heard the word bisexual as an identifying word on tv or in the movies before. (I still haven’t.) Sure, I’d heard the word-- like in Glee, when Blaine is questioning his sexuality and says he might be bisexual, and Kurt, a gay man, replies angrily, “Bisexual is a term that gay guys in high school use when they wanna hold hands with girls and feel like a normal person for a change.” That was the first time I heard the word bisexual on television, is still the only example I can remember, and that’s the message I got about who I was. I was fake. I was a lie. In fact, the word wasn’t even applicable to me-- I wasn’t a gay guy, I was a girl and I was confused and looking for validation. And the media spit in my face.

As far as representation goes, bisexual people have it pretty rough. There is a theme in media, a very dangerous theme, that implicitly shows characters are bisexual and explicitly tells the audience they’re straight. I have example after example of this, files of queerbaiting I’ve stowed in my head for years.

Dean Winchester from Supernatural holds all of his long-standing emotional relationships with men, bonds best with men, is shown to be attracted to men, and only sleeps with/dates women. He is a “womanizer” and his relationships with women never last, whereas he works at his relationships with the men in his life. He cares deeply for them and sacrifices everything for them, but he’s not bi. He’s straight, he sleeps with women, see?

Steve Rogers, AKA Captain America, has healthy, strong, intense relationships with men and women. He’s “not good with girls,” but he’s good with his absolute best friend Bucky, who he’s known since childhood and holds above all else. He falls in love with Peggy Carter, yes, and their brief relationship is important and real, but he also drops everything and flies into enemy lines to rescue Bucky. He becomes a completely different person from grief when he believes Bucky to be dead. When Bucky comes back as a brainwashed soldier and doesn’t know Steve, Steve won’t fight him, and is prepared to die rather than hurt this man who doesn’t even remember him. He drops the shield and stops being Captain America because the alternative is losing Bucky. The writers and actors and media all call Bucky and Steve’s arc a “love story,” but insist that they’re both straight. Peggy happened, right? Bucky slept with loads of women, right?

One of the biggest examples of queerbaiting, BBC’s Sherlock, shows John Watson have relationships with women but above all put Sherlock first, caring for him and supporting him and loving him like he would a boyfriend. He’s Sherlock’s only friend and confidant and they live together and share their whole lives together, but somehow this doesn’t matter because he has relationships with women. There’s even a scene where he yells that he’s not gay, which I remember watching and thinking, “you don’t have to be gay to like the same gender.” But he marries a girl, right? He’s not gay, so what does it matter?

I have so many more examples. Jessica Jones (from the Marvel show of the same name) and her best friend Trish act like ex-girlfriends, are treated by the show as ex-girlfriends, and the first season ends with Jessica saying something she never does-- “I love you”-- to Trish and embracing her. This by all accounts looks like them getting back together, but they both have male romantic interests, so none of that matters. Merlin and Arthur from Merlin have an epic love story and sacrifice life and limb for each other, but they both get girlfriends and eventually, wives. Harry Potter is very into both Draco Malfoy and Cedric Diggory throughout the books but dates only women and marries Ginny in the end. Even in How to Get Away With Murder, where Annalise Keating has explicit relationships with women and men and is very clearly bisexual, they still haven’t said the word out loud. It’s a very scary word, apparently.

Something dangerous happens when media implicitly grants a community representation but doesn’t give them explicitly stated, canon representation. We are told we are shameful. We are told we are bad and dirty and must be kept secret. And when we have the gall to point out how obvious it is for us that these characters are bisexual like we are-- because those in the LGBTQ+ community are taught to read subtext and interpret media for ourselves from a young age-- the general public laughs in our faces. They call us “crazy fans” (which, okay, is super dismissing and dehumanizing and ableist) and tell us that actually, we’re fetishizing these characters, and we need to stop.

It’s different for queer people. There is no explicit bisexual representation. But when I see Jessica Jones look at her best friend the same way I looked at female friends of mine when I was twelve? When I see Merlin and Arthur look into each other’s eyes and smile the same way me and my girlfriend do? It feels the same. It’s just not straight. And the writers of these characters know it. They know it and they use it, because we’re starving for validation and we’ll take anything. They write these scenes, these loving glances, purposely, then turn around and tell us our beloved characters are straight. Why would they not be? They have girlfriends and boyfriends, after all. Nevermind what that says to bisexual men who lean towards dating women and feel weird and shameful about their attraction to men, who watch Supernatural and wonder why they relate so much to Dean. Nevermind what that says to bisexual women who watch women on screen be physically affectionate and loving towards each other and who are told that this is strictly platonic; female friends are all like this, and it’s definitely not romantic.

Television does not seem to understand the possibility of being attracted to more than one gender. For me, someone who’s loved every gender since I can remember, it seems strange to only like one gender. I love boys and I love girls and I love everyone in between, and this isn’t taken away by me currently dating a girl. I wasn’t straight when I dated a boy in high school, and I’m not a lesbian now. But in television, you’re a straight woman if you date men. You’re a straight man if you date women. Nothing else matters, especially not your long-standing, emotional, loving relationships with the same gender.

There is a problem in the media with being afraid of this word. I’d like to know why that is. More and more shows are including gay characters now, giving them girlfriends and boyfriends and plotlines and interesting stories. (We won’t touch on the “bury your gays” trope here.) But there’s still so, so, so little explicitly defined bisexual characters. If they’re bi, this is shown, not told. We learn they’re bi from them kissing boys and girls, not by them mentioning it. This is a clear distinction, and it’s important to note. I can’t think of a single example of something I’ve watched or read where a character said themselves that they were bisexual. Self-identifying, strongly and confidently, is important. Not being outed, not just showing their identity by making out with multiple genders, and not saying a stupid cop-out like “well, sexuality is fluid” or “I’m not straight or gay, I’m just… y’know.”

No. Young bisexuals don’t know. Young me didn’t know. If I had been watching TV and heard someone call themselves bisexual, proud and clear, I’d have sat up. I’d have listened. I wouldn’t have had to watch show after show, movie after movie, read book after book and gone to my other queer friends, saying with raised eyebrows, “This is fucking gay, right? I’m not the only one?”

We see your implicit representation and we want better. We deserve better. We demand better, for us and for young bisexuals, their stomachs sinking every time they watch TV and a joke is made about two characters of the same gender being “too close.” My stomach sank when I was a kid and I watched Joey and Chandler hug and say “We do this too much, don’t we?” and break apart.

I didn’t know why then, but I do now. And I-- we-- deserve better.

And to not end this on a sad note, I do have hope. I am tired of queerbaiting and biphobia, but I have hope. When I was a kid I had nothing-- at the very least now, I have characters on TV who kiss people of multiple genders. Eventually they’ll be allowed to say that they’re bisexual out loud, but for now I have confirmation from show runners that I was right, that they are bi. For now I have amazing bisexual Youtubers like Dodie Clark and Chris Kendall and Alayna Fender. For now I have Korra from Legend of Korra and Jack Zimmermann from Check, Please! (READ IT HERE) and Annalise Keating from How to Get Away With Murder. For now I hold the little rep I have close to my heart and wait for a better time, a time when “bisexual” is not a scary word to say on television or in movies. After all, we have all these angry bisexuals with no representation and a fierce desire to see themselves in media. That’s just a recipe for shit to get done.