#PLATONIC MARRIAGE WITH THE BEST PERSON EVER

[skeelly]

Kristen, you had made me the most happiest man in my life. Yes man. Man. When you started reading something that I didn't give two shits about, I knew you were the best friend for me. So I'll ask you now and forever hold my peace with you. If we weren't far away from each other then I would've been on my knees just for you. Mainly both ways because I need you platonically in my life. Now Kirsten, will you platonically marry me? January 24th of 2024?

ps. this is just a joke but im willing to platonically marry you

OMG REG STOP IM GONNA CRY

UHM YES?? HELLO YOU COULD HAVE WALKED UP TO ME AND SAID "LETS PLATONICALLY GET MARRIED" AND ID SAY YES! IT WOULD BE THE BEST PLATONIC MARRIAGE EVER! oml. ilyyy <33

[possamble]

realizing im kind of a weirdo about laios and marcille

[jackass-jones]

Teehee I got hugged today 🥰

[hamilando]

ੈ✩ daddy playlist (smau) ੈ✩

pairing : f1 gird x leclerc! reader ( platonic )

summary: the leclerc sister causing havoc in the f1 driver’s life

tw : fluff; chaos, VERY SUGGESTIVE

fc : emma chamberlain

a/n : this was requested anonymously by an anon! I hope you like it and thank you so much for supporting me ! lysm 🫶🏻 the reader is gay, so don’t like it, don’t read it 🫶🏻 also, there are a lot of suggestive jokes, so please don’t read if you are uncomfortable

·:｡･ﾟ��･ ✩ ･ﾟ ･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ･ ･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ･ ✩ ･ﾟ ･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ･･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ･ ✩ ･ﾟ ･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ

liked by norriz, albono, georgey and 78 others

babyn daddy's home chauffeuring these Lil girls

view comments

lordperceval wtf are you driving a Mercedes !?

lordperceval haven't I bought like 10 ferrari's for you ?

lordperceval even Lewis is leaving Mercedes

babyn calm down, brother dearest, it's georgey's

georgey shame on all of you for catfishing in my car

albono I AS WELL also own a Mercedes 🙏

albono norris, you better be careful in track, the fuck are you sending my ugliest pictures on the net

norizz oh come on, if you are ugly, you are going to be ugly

max1 and not like you don't crash every now and then

colawithice it's the Williams' fault

chillijr that's why I am replacing you

colawithice and that's why I am replacing checko ✅

babyn YOU ARE GOING TO REDBULL!?

babyn OH MY GOD

babyn REDBULL WILL HAVE MILFS

babyn BOTH OF THE DRIVERS ARE DATING MILFS

norizz or they just have mummy issues

max1 and you have height issues

colawithice height does not matter, it's the girth

hamsandwich it's the looks 💪🏻

georgey why do you follow yn?

babyn WHY WONT HE!?

kikagnome the whole grid follows her

babyn except the drivers without talent and daddy issues

peirreneedsgas then why is Lando following you ?

norriz mate, last time I checked, I WAS THE ONE COMPETING FOR THE CHAMPIONSHIP

babyn and it was all too much for little Lando Norris

pastry we still are winning then constructors💪🏻

chillijr Ferrari will cover up

babyn only if they pass the radio in spanish from now on

georgey 😶

albono 😶

pastry 😶

lilyhye 😶

babyn LILY WHY WERE YOU OFFLINE

carmenvroom 😶

liked by lilyhye, kikagnome, alexmieux and 104 others

babyn the only man I would ever spread my legs for -

view comments

lordperceval you are not getting out of my sight anymore

lordperceval dare you leave the Ferrari garage

babyn I will go the McLaren garage

pastry oh fuck no, BIANCA IS NOT THERE FOR EVERY RACE

babyn 😔

max1 I will join you

babyn turning people gay since 01 💪🏻

babyn but before, give me Kelly

max1 you can very much take toto, thank you

kikagnome yn, babe stick to one person yeah ?

babyn stop flaunting your relationship with pierre

pierreneedsgas SHE DIDNT EVEN SAY ANYTHING !

babyn your existence is enough

kikagnome why do I have you as my best friend again ?

babyn idk, sounds like a you problem

liked by norizz, kikagnome and 84 others

babyn SHE FUCKING LOOKED AT ME !?

view comments

norizz was it necessary to use me ?

babyn well yes, you are confused everytime

max1 thank God you will stay off Kelly now

babyn NEVER FROM MY FAV MILF

ollibear Bianca gave me her number

babyn TO YOU !?

olliebear what's so surprising ?

babyn YOU ARE WHITE AND YOUNG AND WELL A KID

olliebear YOU ARE WHITE TOO !?

babyn I AM MONEGASQUE

kingarthur sorry ollie, she failed her middle school

norizz she just looked

babyn itz the start of our marriage book, I have already made like 10 playlists

colawithice tell me you're gay without telling me you are gay

babyn you are LaTiNa

colawithice I WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU

lordperceval every week, you tell me some other girl is going to my sister in law

babyn I WANT TO BECOME A WAG

kikagnomes ITS FRIENDSHIP GOALS CHARLES

pierreneedsgas wait what

babyn calm down french fry, you both only met because of me

hamsandwich please don't, we don't need another person on the grid with an age gap

chillijr I think being in the f1 world has a mandatory check of having an age gap relationship

albono ME AND LILY are very happy 😊

georgey so are we Carlos

rebecamour Carlos, I AM ONLY ELDER TO YOU BY ONE YEAR

chillijr I didn't mean it about us !!

rebecamour Aren't you an f1 driver !?

babyn he is not, he is unemployed

chillijr I am!! But we love each other and Y/N, STOP

babyn no one tells me to stop, I LOVE BEING IN COMMAND

chillijr Charles, control your sister

lordperceval Arthur, please do

kingarthur only maman can

hamsandwich well you could show this account to her ?

babyn ALL GOOD

babyn NO NEED

babyn I AM GAY AND HAPPY

babyn NOT SHARING ANYMORE

lordperceval I love maman

kingarthur so do I 😊

liked by pierreneedgas, kikagnome and 92 others

babyn Kika, the first girl who I fell in love with, the girl who taught me how to wear heels, the girl who taught me how to make my boobs look big ( you kind of catfished pierre..?) and girl who has been with me since we were thirteen. happy 21 my love 😗😗

view comments

kikagnomes finally I get some appreciation 🫶🏻😊

pierreneedsgas the only post I ever liked on this account

babyn says the man who got catfished

kikagnomes I AM NOT THAT FLAT

babyn OH PLEASE

kikagnomes WELL I HAVE A BOYFRIEND

babyn who will gladly lick the plate

kikagnomes PLATE !?

norizz this is the first time I have seen boobs being compared to plates

pierreneedsgas shut up norris

kikagnomes shut up lando !!

babyn love let's just continue on the gc ?

kikagnomes yes, I need to debrief as well !

pierreneedsgas debrief what ?

babyn how you only last like 3 rounds !?

pierreneedsgas HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW !? FRANSISCA !?

lordperceval 3 rounds is impressive !!

babyn not for an athlete

kingarthur sister, what more do you expect from a human ?

babyn like minimum 5 rounds ?

max1 Y/N, this is not a formula 1 race where you go for rounds with pitstops

babyn y'all are just old

hamsandwich it's not about being old !!!

babyn forgot there were 40 year olds who can't even do one round

colawithice you women don't know how hard is it to keep the hip movements going

georgey EXACLTY, WE HAVE MORE FLEXIBLE HIPS THAN SHAKIRA

carmenvroom ....

lordoerceval the silence says a lot more my mate

babyn Colapinto beans, I am more dominant in bed than you are begging to be rode

lordperceval EVERYONE TAKE THIS ON YOUR CHATS, Y/N, SISTER I HAVE NO INTEREST IN YOUR SEX LIFE

babyn also Charles, work on your stamina mate, can't even go 2 rounds without panting

lordoerceval !? ALEXANDRA !?

alexmieux ... yn, love meet me NOW

liked by kikagnome, norriz, colawithice and 134 others

babyn when mom asks what me and that girl are going to do on a sleepover

view comments

norriz at this point, you should sign up this account for onlyfans

lordperceval Lando, stop giving my BABY SISTER such ideas

babyn what makes you think I am not already there

kingarthur excuse me !?

babyn don't worry, I just sell your feet pics 😺😊

lordperceval the best investment from my money would be getting you a psychiatrist

colawithice give me some tongue tips

babyn milf not getting satisfied ?

colawithice you wish

chillijr telling your mom for future sleepovers

babyn telling reb about your Italy escapade

rebecamour Italy what !?

babyn nothing 🤭

rebecamour Carlos !?!?

chillijr nothing my love, she is just joking

chilijr STOP TRYING TO MAKE ME FIGHT WITH HER !

babyn sorry, I just thought you liked mariella

rebecamour MARIELLA !?

norizz just informing that Carlos won't be online for some time because I saw him run after her in the paddock

pastry why are you so mean yn ?

lilyhye Mena in What?

lilyhye exposing an affair !?

alexmieux as she should !?

babyn loves, there was no affair

kikagnomes you nasty -

lilyhye those are some damn long fingers ...

babyn someone just expressed their desire @ albono

albono thank you very much and I can work on it without your interference

lordperceval why in the world have you put me there !?

babyn Alex is lucky you know ?

lordperceval what did mom even eat before giving birth to you !?

babyn dad

kingarthur Y/N !!!

[venuslarkspur]

Personal headcanon of mine that would like to share. Batsis!Reader was personally blessed by Aphrodite when she was little and it's why she can add to her growing harem without much struggle

Cassandra during a family meeting: Do you guys ever wonder how Batsis!Reader can get anyone, no matter the age difference, hero and villain, to hook up/date her?

Jason watching Batsis get flirted on by Roy for like the millionth time: Only god knows Cass. Only God knows.

Meanwhile 5-6 year old Batsis on the Manor's rooftop stargazing with Aphrodite

Aphrodite: You know what? I like you little human. You entertain me, I haven't felt this relaxed and at peace in centuries! And for that, I shall give you my blessing.

Cue Batsis!Reader getting her charisma maxed out and continue skyrocketing even after being maxed out. Also getting a sex drive that lets her sexually keep up with any partner she wanted, basically making her the best hoe out there without a doubt

5-6 year old Batsis: Ok :v

Omg yes, I fw this.

Warning: very minor nsfw but nothing that bad is mentioned, cuss words, mentions of addiction, not proofread.

Like Batsis is semi aware of her talents and charms and also has SOME control over them, but sometimes she can meet some dickheads who try and gain her attention after she’s madeit clear she doesn’t want them.

How some of the JL are charmed

- I feel like Diana is partly aware of this connection between Batsis and Aphrodite and that’s how Diana for the most part hasn’t surrendered to her charm. Diana just loves her for her for the most part.

- John Stewart is unique, he fell in love with Batsis for much more than just her beauty but rather how she conducts herself as a person, these two are my faves.

- Barry Allen pre his marriage with Iris did find Batsis attractive and very charming, though I imagine at this time she’s dating someone else. So nothing becomes of this despite Batsis knowing she could have him if she wanted.

- Zatanna and Batsis have always been flirty with each other, they charm each other quite easily, they are either besties or girlfriends there’s no in between, the two of them and John sometimes throuple as well so take that as you will.

- Hal Jordan was easy work, he was putty the day he met Batsis. This was in the early days when Batsis definitely wanted to piss off Bruce, so why not solidity it by not only sleeping with and dating his colleague but also the colleague he can’t stand the most.

- Yeah the vast majority are just immediately drawn to her beauty and grace. She’s matching all of their freak.

——————

- But if we are talking about Villains, Deathstroke is one of her past; he was an easy bag she didn’t even have to pull out any tricks. But when she gets a bit older and matures more she stops their dynamic immediately.

- For some crack however Batsis has contemplated how funny it would be if she married Ra’s Al Ghul, like Damian having to address her as grandmother? Bruce literally having a seizure if he finds out. This thought is extinguished IMMEDIATELY however. Although she does like a challenge and wonders if her talents on him would work.

——————

This girl struggles to find an end game that truly loves her, she’s had a few who have came and gone but never imagined someone she could call her romantic soulmate (bc we know Dick is her platonic soulmate!!), but if it had to be anyone it would be Roy. They’ve been through so much struggle together that eventually they would work out, Roy gets insecure and wonders if she could do better considering the men and women of her past he’s been podiumed with.

- Batsis had made the mistake of leaving him when they were younger over the pressure getting to her, like Lian coming along, his addiction, Ollie just being a shit mentor for the most part, but Batsis really calms down with her gift if she gets serious (even if she can’t control it 70% of the time), she finally has found something good and will stick to it. Yeah he was a nasty dog when they were teenagers but when they are older he just sees the only one (besides Dinah, Dick and Jason) who stuck by him.

My lord this got sort of angsty but yeah. She’s a girl blessed.

[unclewaynemunson]

“I need to tell you something.”

Shitfuckno. Eddie doesn't even know why he's still surprised. This is how it always goes, after all. He should probably just give up and stop dating altogether – again.

Steve looks at him exactly as ominously as the words I need to tell you something require. Perfect Steve. Funny Steve. Sweet Steve. Sexy Steve. Steve, who Eddie had genuinely believed to be different.

Eddie sighs, barely suppressing a dark chuckle while he turns away from that perfect face. He doesn't want to look at Steve when he'll tell him the undoubtedly messed-up shit he's about to spill.

“Lemme guess, you're married?” That was what the last guy he dated told him, seven months after they got to know each other. It can't be much worse than that, can it?

Steve grabs Eddie's hand, causing him to involuntarily jerk up his head and meet his eyes.

“How did you know?”

Jesus H. Christ. Not again.

Eddie roughly pulls his hand out of Steve's grip and laughs a joyless laugh.

“Apparently I'm a good guesser.”

He stands up from the park bench the two of them had been sharing. “Well, Steve, this has been a blast. You should go back to your wife, or husband – don't tell me, I don't even wanna know – and I should um, get going. Maybe tell the next person right away what they'll be getting themselves into. Would save them a lot of wasted time, just in case cheating and going around other people's backs isn't really their thing, y'know.”

“Eddie, wait, let me explain!”

Eddie picks up his pace, but Steve, stubborn as he is, easily keeps up with him.

“I'm really not interested, man.”

“It's not – I'm not cheating on her!”

“Okay, so you have an open marriage, good for you. Still the kind of information you could've shared with me, say, three months ago, don't you think?”

“She's a lesbian.”

And that makes Eddie freeze on the spot. It takes Steve two steps before he realizes Eddie has stopped moving; he walks backwards until he's standing right in front of Eddie.

“She's my best friend,” he says, immediately using Eddie's stunned silence to his advantage. “Robin, my roommate – I told you all about her. We wanted to buy a house together and that turned out to be very complicated when you're not... Well, when you're not romantically involved. So we got married. For the, um, practical reasons. We never – we're like siblings. I love her like a sister. But she's also my wife. Platonically.”

It takes a few seconds until Steve's words sink in. Then, Eddie leaps forward and basically collapses into Steve's arms, needing to hold onto him to prevent himself from crashing to the ground.

Steve's arms are warm, strong, and as safe as ever.

“Eddie, are you okay?” Steve asks softly. His lips brush against Eddie's ear while he speaks, and worry colors his voice.

Perfect Steve. Too-good-to-be-true Steve.

“Jesus Christ, Steve,” is the only thing Eddie manages to say.

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you,” Steve says. “It's just – I've gotten some, um... Less than ideal reactions, in the past, whenever I told this when I was seeing someone. So I thought it'd be better to wait until things were getting serious.” He sighs, tangling his fingers in Eddie's hair. “I didn't wanna scare you off. Are we – are you okay?”

Eddie nods. He lifts his head from where it's resting against Steve's shoulder and raises his hands to squeeze them around Steve's face.

“We're okay,” he says. “And I'm sorry I didn't want to listen to you. I–” He stops; he can't find the words right away. It's still difficult to talk about those things; to let himself be vulnerable. But Steve has been honest with him, so it's only fair to return the favor.

“I've been hurt, Steve,” he confesses. “More than once. I've had some really shitty experiences with dudes not being honest with me. I thought that that was what was happening again, and I couldn't – I couldn't go through that again. Especially not with you.”

“Jesus, Eddie, I'm so sorry.”

“It's okay,” Eddie rushes to say, pulling Steve even closer towards him. “I trust you.” And as soon as these words leave his mouth, he knows it's the truth.

“I do want to be absolutely clear about one thing, though,” Steve says.

Eddie leans back in Steve's arms to give him an expectant look.

“Robin is my wife. I'm not planning on that to change anytime soon. We've been through a lot together. She's been the most important person in my life for years. We own a house and a dog together, and I love her more than anything. I like you a lot, and I promise you I'm all-in with you, but... Robin is still my number one. And that's not gonna change overnight. I need you to be okay with that.”

Eddie swallows. He looks into Steve's eyes. All he sees is a man who is honest, who loves his friends deeply, and who refuses to make any compromises when it comes to love – whether it be the platonic or the romantic kind.

It doesn't scare Eddie off; it only makes him fonder of Steve.

He smiles, glances around to check if they're alone, and presses a quick kiss against Steve's lips.

“I think I can live with that,” he says. “As long as I'm the only one who gets to do this.” He closes his eyes and lets his lips meet Steve's again.

The sigh that Steve breathes into their tentative kiss is one filled with relief.

[aphroditelovesu]

Yan!Parents Daemon/Rhaenyra Targaryen Headcanons (Platonic)

❝ 🐉 — lady l: Are these headcanons good? I don't know, but I hope you like it!! Forgive me for any mistakes ;) 🩵🤍

❝tw: obsessive and possessive behavior, overprotection, mention of death and murder, unhealthy platonic relationships and messy writing.

❝🐉pairing: platonic yandere!daemyra x gender neutral!reader.

Rhaenyra and Daemon were looking forward to the arrival of their first child. Daemon already had two daughters and Rhaenyra her three precious boys, but they were very eager for the first fruit of their marriage to be born.

The day Rhaenyra gave birth to you was one of the happiest memories of her life. The pain of childbirth was excruciating, but when she could hold you in her arms, it was all worth it.

Daemon actually sobbed when he held you for the first time. You were so small, so innocent and so perfect. He swore to himself that he would do anything to be good to you. You would be loved and adored forever.

They are both extremely overprotective and possessive over you. You are their child, you belong to them, so you should not associate with anyone they do not approve of.

Any friends you may have will be investigated by Daemon and if he finds anything that displeases him, that friend will disappear from your life. He is not objective, if that person's great-grandfather was an bastard, for example, that means they will never be good to you. And you deserve only the best.

Rhaenyra not only agrees with this, but encourages her uncle-husband's actions. You are her baby, the most precious person in her life and she only wants the best for you. She will give you the best, she knows what is good for you. After all, mom always knows best, right?

Your older siblings would also have developed their own obsession with you, encouraged by their parents. It didn't take long for the Velaryon brothers and Daemon's daughters to become completely attached to you.

You were not only your parents' obsession, but also your siblings, meaning you can bet no harm would be done to you. You were spoiled and protected, the apple of everyone's eye in Dragonstone.

Whatever you want, you will have. Rhaenyra and Daemon are completely soft when it comes to disciplining you, just one puppy look and they will forget everything. You are their child, you could do no wrong in their eyes.

Everyone is instructed to spoil and protect you, the servants, the guards and your brothers will do so willingly too.

Daemon is very possessive, he feels entitled to you because you are his child. He will kill anyone who looks, says, or even breathes wrong at you. There's no way he's going to let anything happen to you.

Rhaenyra is more controlled, but she is still a dragon and you should never mess with a dragon's offspring. She loses all her senses, her reason when something happens to you. Even if it's a paper cut, she will go into a frenzy of rage.

Any love interests or suitors will also be dealt with quickly. They won't allow you to get married, no one will ever be good enough for you.

If something were to happen to you, gods be good, for the true fury of the Targaryens would be revealed. They will burn, kill and destroy everything in their path for you. All that matters is you, the war will be forgotten by you.

And when it was just ashes and the smell of blood and death was in the air, they would be satisfied. Daemon and Rhaenyra will go to extremes for you. You are their baby and no one, absolutely no one, can change that.

Daemon and Rhaenyra will not lose anyone else, not their child. And when the war for the Iron Throne begins, you would be locked in and protected the entire time. Your parents love you and would do anything, but they don't know boundaries or privacy. It doesn't matter, after all, they are your parents.

[airybcby]

*Pokes my head in through your window*

Good morning, I'm here for the 'More Than A Married Couple, But Not Lovers' event. I'll like to request 🍑+🧁 with Yukimiya Kenyu.

well good morning ! ( afternoon as this is posted )

a yukimiya kenyu peach cupcake :)

જ⁀♡⊹｡° home is wherever you are

♡ a/n — for my more than a married couple event :)

♡ content — yukimiya kenyu x gn! reader, gn! reader, childhood friends to lovers, their moms are also best friends, reader tries to deny their feelings for yukimiya

♡ synopsis — from the second you were born, your mother swore you were meant to marry her best friends son, yukimiya kenyu. maybe they'd accept just a fake marriage?

You and Yukimiya Kenyu had been attached at the hip for as long as you could remember.

Your mothers were best friends, bonded by years of shared secrets, inside jokes, and matching visions of the future. And somewhere along the way, that vision started to include you and Yukimiya—together.

“When they grow up, they’ll get married. Mark my words,” your mom would say with a wink.

Yukimiya’s mom always chimed in with a dreamy sigh, “They’re perfect for each other. Just look at them!”

You and Yukimiya? Perfect for each other? You’d laugh it off every time.

But no matter how much you tried to ignore their teasing, the words stuck.

The years passed, and the two of you became inseparable. From sharing homework to cheering him on at soccer matches, you were there for every high and low.

You knew everything about him—the way he hummed when he was deep in thought, how he needed his tea just right, the way his eyes lit up when he talked about his dreams.

And he knew everything about you.

But no matter how close you were, there was always an unspoken rule between you: don’t cross the line.

When the marriage simulation program paired you together, you’d both burst out laughing.

“Of course it’s you,” Yukimiya said, shaking his head with a small smile.

“It’s like the universe is conspiring with our moms,” you joked, though your stomach flipped at the thought of living with him for weeks.

You didn’t expect much to change. After all, you’d been friends forever. This would be just like old times—right?

It wasn’t.

Living together was different.

For one, you started noticing things you hadn’t before. Like how he always smelled faintly of citrus, or how his hair looked when he stepped out of the shower, damp and a little messy.

And then there was the way he looked at you—so soft, so open, like you were the only person in the world who mattered.

You told yourself it didn’t mean anything. This was just Yuki. He was thoughtful, sweet—he’d always been like this.

But the more time you spent together, the harder it became to convince yourself that your feelings were strictly platonic.

It all came to a head one evening.

You were sitting on the couch, flipping through the program’s assignments, when he spoke up.

“Hey,” he said, his voice unusually tentative.

“Yeah?”

“Do you ever think about what our moms used to say? About us getting married?”

Your heart skipped a beat. “Uh, sometimes. Why?”

He hesitated, running a hand through his hair. “I used to think it was ridiculous, you know? Like, they were just joking around. But…”

You waited, holding your breath.

“But now I’m starting to wonder if maybe they weren’t entirely wrong.”

The silence that followed was deafening.

“Yuki,” you said softly, your chest tightening.

He looked at you, his expression both nervous and hopeful. “I know this is probably the worst time to say this, but I—” He paused, taking a deep breath. “I like you. More than just as a friend. I think I’ve liked you for a while now, but I didn’t want to mess things up between us.”

Your heart felt like it was about to burst. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“I didn’t want to lose you,” he admitted. “But now… I can’t pretend anymore.”

You didn’t know who moved first, but suddenly his arms were around you, holding you close.

“I don’t want to pretend anymore either,” you whispered, burying your face in his chest.

The simulation ended a few days later, but your relationship didn’t.

For once, your moms were right.

And this time, you didn’t mind one bit.

i love yukimiya so much it's unhealthy

i hope you liked it!

likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated!

[astrozuya]

TXT + 6TH MEMBER MALE READER !

summary: txt ot5 x male!reader. idol!reader (implied to be the same age as hyuka). fluff + crack.

YEONJUN.

dotes on u so much

moas are like "i'm y/n's biggest fan" babe no ur not, yeonjun is 😭😭

if you're having trouble with a choreo or you feel like your vocals aren't that great in a song he'll try his best to help you however you can !!

whether that means helping you practice or reassuring you that you're amazing, he'll do anything to make you feel better

physical affection 24/7.

he'll tone it down to be more platonic when you're on camera but honestly it won't change much

just things like casually slinging an arm around your shoulder, or patting your head and bumping his shoulder into yours affectionately

out of all the members he's most comfortable with fanservice

so he won't be bothered by you flirting with other members on camera

but if u ever do it in the dorms........

frownjun.

"so basically you're saying you want to get divorced. is that it y/n. you want to throw away all the memories we shared and elope with soobin of all people? is that it"

"jjunie it was a joke"

"WHAT SO MARRIAGE IS A JOKE TO YOU"

"NO, I'M JUST NOT MARRYING SOOBIN"

just cuddle this man please he's insufferable

SOOBIN.

he's always looking out for you and making sure you're taken care of

like he knows you're an adult and can take care of yourself

but let him do things for you please it's his love language <3

"y/n did you eat?" "make sure to get some rest" "y/n, try some of this!"

soobin doesn't have a favorite member, he loves all of txt equally but it's you, you're his fav

lots of praise and reassurance and cuddles

soob doesn't do a lot of pda, especially on camera, but in private he loves clinging to you

when it's just the six of you at the dorms, he'll always be saying stuff like "leave some food for y/n- my boyfriend' and 'i promised i'd watch this show with y/n- my boyfriend' 'i love my boyfriend'

soobin babe they know. they know. you don't have to bring it up in every other sentence

maybe someone once showed him soobin x y/n fanfiction as a joke... but bro 😧 i don't think it's a joke anymore

if you flirt with the other members he'll get so sulky oh my god

you should be scared, because soobin always gets his revenge (he's literally a giant bunny)

"soobin... did you watch jujutsu kaisen without me?"

"why don't you go watch it with your beloved yeonjunie hyung, HMMMM?"

"IT WAS FANSERVICE BABE PLEASE"

BEOMGYU

will flirt with u on camera without hesitation. he's the yeon to your bin

teases you a lot but he does feel proud to show you his mature hyung side and will take care of you a lot

refers to u as toto's other father

PLS HE'S SO WHIPPED FOR U

steals ramyeon and snacks from u all the time. like he does it so much it's a running joke in the fandom 😭😭 there's youtube users out there with the username yns_stolen_ramyeon

"y/nnn give me some ramyeon!~"

"beomgyu hyung i literally just asked you a minute ago if you wanted me to add extra for you"

"no no i just want a bit"

"the last time you said that you FINISHED MY BOWL 👹👹"

"please y/n this is the last time i swearrr"

safe to say it is NOT the last time

he's such a menace (affectionate)

that being said he is actually the sappiest bf

will try to get your stylists to give the two of you similar/matching outfits

if possible, he would want you two to wear those dumb couple t shirts with shit like 'if lost, return to my boyfriend ♥️😜' 'i'm his boyfriend 😘♥️'

TAEHYUN

shows his more playful side to you

even though he's the maknae he sometimes feels like he has to be the serious one, but not around you

you're his safe place <3

and he's your # 1 hypeman

"go y/n!" "get it y/n!" look he just thinks ur amazing ok

he's down bad. clings onto u so much omg. back hugs !! all !! the !! time !!

you're probably the person he's most open with, and vice versa

his favorite thing is long talks late into the night about the serious and the silly.

like soobin, probably makes it very clear to the other members that you're his bf

he'll make you sit on his lap while watching movies

or make ramyeon only for you (bf privelege <3)

will get mad if you don't pay attention to him btw

he'll be so butthurt but he won't bring it up until like four weeks later

like if ur texting and go "hi tyun!"

he'll be like "it's kang taehyun to you y/n l/n"

"what"

"or have you already forgotten about the 28th of august 7:18 pm when you told me to go away while you were playing video games😐"

"tyun that was a month ago wtf"

HUENING KAI

if you have other idol friends he'll act so heartbroken

gyu will walk in and ask "where's yn?"

and kai will be like "he LEFT me. for felix from stray kids ㅠ_ㅠ do you think he doesn't want me anymore. do you think we're going to break up. do you-"

someone help beomgyu please 😭😭 bro just wanted to get back the charger he lent u

you'll return home to find him acting as if you died

"i miss y/n..... (sad sigh) i hope you find happiness my love"

ur big hug machine bf.

will try to climb on your back and probably crush your spine

also if you two share a room he'll climb into your bed in the night and you'll end up on the floor

BLANKET HOG 👹👹

but it's ok because u love him <3

he's ur simp and he's not even ashamed about it

moas ship you with him the most

in comeback season he'll annoy the shit out of txt

"DID YOU SEE Y/N WITH PINK HAIR"

"yes."

"OK BUT DID YOU SEE HOW GOOD HE LOOKS"

"we saw."

"HE LOOKS SO FLUFFY ARE YOU SURE YOU NOTICED-"

"KAI SHUT THE FUCK UP"

#savetxt

[otakusheep15]

Flufftober Day 31: Proposal - Scarabia and Ignihyde

Characters include: Kalim Al-Asim, Jamil Viper, Idia Shroud (+ bonus platonic Ortho Shroud)

Word count: 1744

Kalim

Who proposes: Kalim

Kalim is very vocal about his opinions, and that includes his opinions on marriage. Ever since he was little, he was so excited at the idea of being married one day. The idea of finding true love and being intertwined with them for the rest of his life is something he’s fantasized about regularly. 

So when he found you, he knew his dreams would come true. You were everything he ever fantasized about and more, and he fell in love the moment he laid eyes on you.

From that very second, he began courting you, practically asking you out every day. At first you thought he was just playing around. Who would just ask someone out that much while barely even knowing them? Kalim. Kalim would.

Soon enough, you realize that he is, in fact, not joking, and you agree to go out with him. He’s absolutely ecstatic, and you’ve been happily together since.

Now, he’s planning to propose. Kalim is not very subtle about his plans, but it’s not like he’s trying to be. He’s very open about wanting to marry you. Pretty much everyone around him knows he wants to, and they’re more so confused about why he hasn’t already.

The truth is that he just wants everything to be perfect. Despite what others may think, Kalim is a bit of a perfectionist. He likes everything to be absolutely perfect at all times, a slight symptom of his people-pleasing tendencies. Proposing is a big deal, and if it’s not perfect, he’s a bit worried you might say no.

Part of this perfection is having the perfect ring. Kalim has one specially made for you, wanting it to be one-of-a-kind. It’s an amazing ring made with the care of the best craftsman he could find. Naturally, money was no issue, and he was absolutely willing to spend whatever he needed to ensure top quality.

Once the ring is finished, Kalim sets up the perfect date with so many things planned. He figures that, the more he has to do, the less he’ll be able to worry. Not that he has any reason to worry of course. You’re going to say yes. Everyone knows that!

The day comes, and Kalim wakes you up early to begin your activities. You spend your time going all over the city, going to restaurants and visiting the market. It’s all so much, and eventually you begin to feel exhausted. 

Kalim notices your obvious fatigue, and he immediately knows why you’re so tired. Instead of attending your next planned event, Kalim takes you to a quiet space away from the crowds so you can relax. Kalim feels terrible. He did so much to ensure today would be perfect, but he ruined it in all of his planning. 

After resting for a moment, you turn to him, gently holding his hand. You assure him that it’s not his fault. He just wanted you to have a good day, and you are. You’re having such an amazing day because you’re with your boyfriend, and you already know what he has planned. 

That makes Kalim perk up a bit, and in a moment of impulse, he kneels down and presents the ring. This is not at all where he imagined he would be proposing, but he couldn’t think of a better time. 

You smile, happily saying yes. He slips the ring onto your finger, leaning up to kiss you. You return it gladly, and when you pull away, you see nothing but pure love in his gaze. 

Your wedding is certainly an event. Kalim went all out with the planning, and considering his practically unlimited budget, he’s able to pull it off. The guest list is basically every single person he knows, which means there are so, so, so many people. You thought it would be overwhelming, but you had Kalim by your side the entire time, and that made it better.

Jamil

Who proposed: you

Jamil never once thought he would have something as special as a partner, let alone a spouse. Marriage seemed like such a foreign concept for him, especially one that was truly happy and not just for convenience.

Then you came into his life, and it seemed like maybe that concept wasn’t so foreign anymore. Suddenly, he was happy with a person who actually improves his life. 

Still, marriage seemed like something he was never meant to have. He’s nothing but a servant, not someone meant to have a fulfilling life. In his mind, you would be better off with someone who can give you the life you deserve. 

Somehow, despite what he’s told you so many times, you actually stick with him. Throughout all of his suffering and strife, you’re next to him, ready to show him that life isn’t all bad all the time. Not once have you ever considered leaving him, and you intend to stay with him as long as he’ll keep you.

That’s why you decided to propose. You know that Jamil will never propose on his own, still too worried about tying you down. Despite your constant affirmations, he still doesn’t fully believe you, so you have to prove it to him once and for all. You have to prove to him that you want only him, and you fully plan on sticking by him.

You don’t need anything fancy or over-the-top. Jamil wouldn’t want anything super flashy, especially for something like this. You’re able to find a nice ring that you think would suit him well. 

Your proposal is also very lowkey. It happens in the comfort of your own home. You and Jamil are lying in bed, and you debate doing it right now. The ring is in the drawer of your nightstand, and you can’t help but want to just do it.

Then, Jamil moves closer to you, wrapping his arms around you to cuddle, and your heart swells with so many feelings, and you can’t take it anymore. 

You ask for him to let you go for a second so you can grab something, and he does, watching as you reach into the drawer. He catches sight of the box and nearly faints right there. He must be seeing things. No way is that what he thinks it is.

He is quickly proven to be correct when you show him the box, opening it up with a shy smile. Inside sits the ring, and he stares at it as his brain processes what is happening. All his life, Jamil has been convinced he would never feel such happiness, and yet you continuously prove him wrong. He says yes, and you put the ring in his finger.

Your wedding is much smaller than initially planned. Kalim wanted to throw a huge wedding to celebrate, but Jamil immediately shot that down. He wanted something simple, with only a few important guests and nothing overly fancy. For Jamil, it’s less about the extravagance of it all and more about just being with you. 

Idia

Who proposes: you

Idia had no intention of ever dating, let alone get married. The thought was just not appealing to him at all. He had his 2-D characters and that’s all he needed. 

Unfortunately for him, you came barreling into his life and just completely wrecked all of his life plans. And, even more unfortunate, he’s not complaining in the slightest.

Dating was a bit of a challenge for Idia. He had to get past a lot of his insecurities in order to even admit he had a crush on you. Luckily, as time went on, he got more and more comfortable with you, and it became easier to just exist in your relationship.

Then the idea of marriage came up. It was actually Ortho who brought it up initially. According to him, you and Idia have been dating for a while, and this is usually the point at which most humans begin considering marriage.

You know Ortho didn’t mean anything by it, but poor Idia nearly had a heart attack at the mere mention of such a big step in your relationship. It’s not that he doesn’t want to get married, it’s just the thought of going through the whole ordeal of a proposal freaks him out. He’s seen so many videos of proposals going horribly wrong, and he’s afraid of embarrassing himself and you rejecting him.

You know about these anxieties of his, and you understand where they’re coming from. However, you want to marry him so badly, so you decided to take matters into your own hands. 

A ring has already been picked out. You knew he would love it considering Ortho helped you pick it out. It wasn’t anything too flashy, and it was perfectly him. Now all you have to do is actually propose to him.

Naturally, it happens in the comfort of your bedroom. You want him to be as comfortable as possible. The ring is in your pocket, and as you watch Idia game, you find yourself fidgeting with it. He wins the game he was playing, and he looks up at you with a smile.

Suddenly, it feels much too difficult to hold off any longer. While you have his attention, you ask him if you can talk for a second. His face immediately shifts to one of panic, and you quickly reassure him that it’s nothing bad, and he relaxes a bit.

You give him a whole speech, telling him how much you adore him and that he’s your entire world. Your speech ends with you pulling out the box, showing it to him. He nearly faints at the sight, but he manages to hold on as you open it, revealing the ring. You ask him to marry you, and he visibly blue screens.

Anyone else would see this as a bad sign, but you know it’s just him processing. Once he comes to, his hair and face both erupt with pink, and he stammers out a yes. You take his hand gently and slip the ring on his finger before kissing his knuckles. He shakily smiles back, still nervous but obviously happy. 

Your wedding is not a wedding at all. Idia straight up refused to have any kind of ceremony. You two literally popped into a courthouse, signed some papers, and were officially married. Ortho did come with you because he was just excited that Idia was getting married at all.

[lady-ashfade]

Day 2 Of Fictober

Poison

Yandere! Rhaenrya Targaryen x Daughter!Reader.

Ask: Can you write a platonic yandere mother Rhaenyra fic where she secretly gives her daughter non fatal doses of poison so that she is to sick to leave Dragonstone when its time for her to marry her betrothed.

Warnings: Yandere behavior, Over protective, over bearing parent, being poisoned. Poison, family full of yanderes, daemon being included because it fits.

The day you were born Rhaenrya swore she could hear the gods sing in harmony together. Your cries sounded like heaven to her ears, the little girl who belong to her. Y/n, the first daughter of Rhaenrya Targaryen. “Beautiful,” she brushed the hair and blood off of your forehead and placed a kiss.

“My sweet girl.”

You had stoped crying when you came into contact with her skin and warmth, she was safe and familiar. Rhaenrya had blessed with a boy and she was grateful to have two beautiful children. But her first born had dark hair and fair light skin, you had her features of paler skin and silver hair. Your mother knew she needed to protect you from the darkness of the world and keep you innocent.

Each day you were at the queens side or in your own room. She would take her younger son to see you and get you both comfortable with one another. Jace couldn’t stop smiling and clapping when he saw you, he’s such a good older brother. As the years passed by you grew to need your mother or your brothers, being dependent on her. Where the princess went you weren’t far behind in a small dress and coping her.

But now it was the day she had dreaded for your whole life. You being betrothed to a lord far away and not with her.

“But mother, I need silver.” You huffed as you pressed the dress to your body. A smile on your cheeks as you swing yourself from side to side in the mirror. “Silver will match his clothes.” She cringed at your giggling and delighted to be married off, to leave her behind. A daughter should want to stay with her mother as long as she could, even cry when leaving her mother.

“You are stressing dearest,” her hands stopped your hands and looked at you through the mirror and smiled. “No need not to change for a man, not when you’re already perfection.” Her lips met your cheeks and you laugh at her sweetness and affection. You turned around and took her back into your arms and hugged her close.

“Only because you’re my mother and taught me every I know. I will make you proud, mother. This marriage will help our family with the whispers,” a hushed tone of the mention of rumors spreading around the realm of you and your brothers birth. “Promise.” Her chest loved how you smiled and wanted to help her, her sweet girl.

But it was foolish to think she’d let you go. And that’s why she needed to keep you by her side since you were so naive.

She watched as you laughed with your brothers at the table and ate your favorite meal. How could she let this go? As soon as you lifted your cup to your mouth she was ready for the moment to happen. Daemon by her side keeping a eye on you too as he help with the poison, a maester waiting outside the door. A few seconds later you began to cough and play it off for a few seconds until it became hard for you to breathe.

“Someone help her!” Rhaenrya acted the part of a scared mother and it wasn’t all a lie. Seeing you so panicked and scared, grabbing ahold of her as if it was the last time. Of course she hated it but this was for the best. No one would ever expected the woman who loved her children above all else to poison them. Daemon had a “search” for the person who did it, and a servant was kill for the crime. A innocent life was worthless to them when it came to you.

A few days later you awaken from your rest and saw your mother beside your bed as she hummed. “Mother?” You called out with a horse voice and she jumped up to take you in her arms. The relief spread on her face as she kissed your head repeatedly and whisper prayers to the gods. “I was so worried.” You held onto her but she got a cup and lifts it to your lips. The first thing was to clear your throat and get it back.

Sipping the drink you smile and lean back down, looking at her loving. “Please tell me I wasn’t out to long, Sir Roderick will be saddened at my lack of letters.” It went unnoticed that she gripped the sheets and a quick smirk that she turned into a smile. He will have to find another bride to have because you’re never leaving the castle.

“I’m sure you will recover soon.” The cup was set back down as she smiled at the bottom where a powder was seen. Rhaenrya kept you on a small amount of poison every week to keep you from getting around on your own or to long. Something to make your body weak without her help.

“Now rest up, my sweet girl.”

[saintzweig]

arrange marriage with your best friend, patrick zweig. you met when you were kids, your families being close friends, always holding parties and dinners together. the two of you found solace in each other, sticking to each other like magnets while the adults talk about adult things. your friendship never wavered as you grew older, always finding the chance to include one another in your hobbies and schedule. patrick invited you to watch his trainings and support him in games, while you invited him to visit museums and frolick in parks. you understood each other better than anyone else. so it was no surprise that both your parents took advantage of this match, proposing a marriage to formally tie the families together. you didn't– couldn't oppose. after all, the love you held for him was greater than any romance you've ever experienced. despite your friendship being completely platonic, you couldn't ask for a better husband. he fit in your life so well, you were sure he'd fit in your dreams and future as well. and he did, he did a better job at being your husband than at anything he's ever done. or maybe that's just because it's you, and it'll always be you.

felt sappy and wanted platonic patrick. just imagine being the only person in his life that he's comfortable being vulnerable with :")

[lukolabrainrot]

“Coughlan is keenly aware of how fans’ interest in Polin transcends the small screen.”

What an open to interpretation question that could have so many other possible answers.

Something easily reduced to BTON only: “Penelope and Colin’s love story seemed to have touched many people. I am happy and proud about job done on this season by everyone,” polite, simple, professional, sidestepping any other possible second meaning;

Or still giving shout out to L professionally and otherwise: “I think that is because me and L are just very good friends in real life, who have lots of affection and care for each other. It, I think, translates into our acting and so audience picks up on it. He has been the best costar and supporter for me during this entire process,” clear, generous, sweet, giving an answer not open to interpretation;

Something a bit more direct, to really nip it in the bud, even if the question had nothing to do with shipping now is the perfect moment to put all dots on “i”: “Yes, I am aware of some people’s feelings, but it has always been just very real friendship between L and myself. While it is sweet that people see it this way, love between us while deep and real is just platonic. We appreciate each other as friends and costars and are very happy about Polin’s season success”;

And many other ways that answer could have been given. But what did we get? Talk about marriage, not even between Colin and Pen, but her and L. Talk about gorgeous RELATIONSHIP between a man and a woman. That is unlike anything she ever expects to experience again in her life?? What is it exactly that you don’t expect to experience again N? Because it certainly can’t be anything about another costars, your career is just taking off. Do some people really think that a serious article like this is a done in a fluke, that it hasn’t been edited and revisited multiple times, that if N wished to give any other answer or sidestep that question all together she wouldn’t have? I, personally, am as hopeful as ever, and willing to wait as long as THEY wish to. (lord please let it not be too long or my impatient self is going to burst 🙏 )

Exactly!

Like I mentioned, he is going to very likely live forever in this very important and serious article about her. Just keep mulling that over 👀

And they wouldn't have agreed to this statement (N OR L) in the article if they were about to publicly announce a relationship with someone else. The only other person besides L in her personal life she mentioned was her late father. Like y'all, keep mulling this over. She VERY intentionally chose these two people from her personal life to be included in this important article about her story and accomplishments. It speaks VOLUMES to how she views these two men and the impact they have had on her story and accomplishments. And that is where I will end it.

[gauguinhater69]

Guys, I’ve had Thoughts.

House’s childhood isn’t really explored in a whole lot of depth during the show. The only details we get are some brief mentions of his father’s abuse and the fact that House grew up moving around a lot due to his father serving as a Marine Corps aviator.

I’m pretty sure the only countries that are directly mentioned in the show as being places that House grew up in are the States, Japan, the Philippines, and Egypt. Both of House’s parents are American, as far as I am aware? He also mentions having a Dutch grandmother in One Day, One Room, but I can’t remember if that’s ever mentioned again or if he just said that for the plot. Regardless, this makes House a Third Culture Kid (or TCK).

Third Culture Kid is a term used to describe people who grow up in a culture that's different from their parents' culture or the culture of their country of nationality. TCKs are often children of expatriate workers, including members of the military (like House), or they can also be the result of transnational marriages. TCKs often develop an identity that's based on relationships with people rather than places. 

I feel like this aspect of House’s upbringing explains a lot about his character and why he is The Way He Is. However, I think it was kind of glossed over in canon and could have been dealt with in a really interesting way, but instead they were just kind of like, “Haha, he read manga because army.”

Whether it was intentional by the writers or not, a lot of the ways House thinks, acts, and interacts with other characters is reflective of a TCK childhood. As a TCK myself, I unironically find House to be one of the best-written TCK characters I have ever come across, despite it not being explicitly discussed in the show (genuinely the only other TCK character in mainstream media that I can think of at the moment is Cady Heron from Mean Girls, who is not a good example, sorry girl).

The most compelling aspects of House’s personality, which I believe make him a well-developed representation of what it’s like to grow up as a third culture kid, include:

A complex relationship with authority and rules: TCKs often grow up in environments where they must navigate different sets of rules and authority figures, which could lead to a heightened skepticism about institutional authority. House's disregard for rules, his insubordination, and his tendency to challenge authority figures such as Cuddy, Vogler, Dr. Nolan, and even Wilson at times seem like an indication of a deeper mistrust of systems and structures. House appears to almost compulsively rebel against structure and situations where he is not completely in control, even if he knows that people are trying to help him, as seen in his time at Mayfield.

Alienation of self and others: I feel like this in particular is very central to House’s character and the show. He is constantly pushing the people who care about him away, like Stacy, Cuddy, Wilson, and the Ducklings. He avoids relationships (both romantic and platonic) and emotional connections with the people around him and believes that he is better off relying on himself alone. Many TCKs experience a sense of never truly fitting in anywhere and tend to alienate themselves (whether on purpose or not) because of it.

Detachment and critical thinking: House’s whole thing as a diagnostician is being able to see things from unconventional angles, and his sharp, often brutal, critical thinking is a reflection of this adaptive skill. However, this also contributes to his emotional detachment, as he prioritizes logic and objective analysis over subjective or cultural norms, distancing him from emotional involvement. Being exposed to a variety of different cultures, people, and cultural norms often contributes to TCKs developing the ability to view situations from multiple perspectives and come up with unusual solutions. This could also contribute to House deep desire to figure everything out, this includes the medical mysteries he solves, but also he needs to understand the actions and motivations of all the people around him. He wants to understand and know everything because this gives him a sense of control.

Deep need for control: Growing up in different places, where cultural norms and expectations may have shifted, could have made House feel like he had to assert control over his immediate surroundings to maintain some sense of stability. The trauma he experienced, particularly with his father’s abuse and emotional neglect, likely influenced this desire for control, as he may have associated control with safety and predictability. In addition to this, many TCKs create rigid systems or behavioural processes to compensate for a lack of “home”. House’s fractured sense of identity and personal trauma, which developed as a result of his experiences as a TCK, likely contributed to his need for control in all aspects of his life.

I also think these are all reasons why House is so drawn to Wilson. While Wilson is absolutely as much of a freak as House, he is the most stable and constant thing in House’s life (even more than his job as a doctor is). While medicine is extremely important to House, he works at the hospital on and off, unable to continue his practice while he is at Mayfield, and he ultimately gives up medicine entirely for Wilson. Through all the ups and downs of House’s life, Wilson is there, no matter how hard House tries to drive him away.

House values his relationship with Wilson above pretty much all other things in his life, because Wilson is one of the only constants in House’s life, which is something that House had been lacking before Wilson. House likely had developed the idea that relationships are fleeting due to his constant upheavals as a child, and this may be part of the reason why he is constantly pushing others away to try and save himself the pain of losing people.

However, Wilson keeps coming back no matter what. Despite the fact that House is rude and brash, despite the unhinged pranks, the borderline criminal acts, after House stole Wilson’s prescription pad, after House played a role in the death of Wilson’s girlfriend, again and again Wilson comes back.

I’m going insane, and I think this is very nearly incomprehensible. Does anyone else see the vision?

[frayna-of-the-hollow]

CotL incorrect quotes (my au)

(characters: Lamb, Narinder, Goat, Shamura, Leshy, and Marko (my Yellow Cat))

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Narinder: Oh, to be a bored heir to the throne who keeps rejecting marriage proposals due to being secretly in love with the cute gardener. Lamb: Oh, to be a cute gardener who secretly places roses in the heir’s room because they are in love with them. Shamura: Oh, to be the palace guard who discreetly helps to boost the cute gardener up the wall for their secret deliveries in the middle of the night. Marko: Oh, to be the heir’s best friend witnessing the two fools dance around each other while knowing damn well that the two like each other. Goat: Oh, to be the noble suitor from another royal family who comes to know of their love instantly and plans an entire plan to get them their happy ending. Leshy: Oh, to be a medieval peasant who knows nothing about the heir’s personal life and who dies of dysentery at age 23.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Goat: The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was changing their name to Narinder.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lamb: Nothing in life is free.

Narinder: Love is free.

Shamura: Knowledge is free.

Leshy: Friendship is free.

Marko: Self-respect is free.

Goat: Everything's free if you don't pay for it.

The Squad: ...

Shamura: Goat, that's illegal-

Lamb: No, let them finish!

(It wouldn't let me copy paste it like the first one for some reason)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shamura: Hold on! I’m having one of those things... a headache with pictures.

Marko: What the f-

Lamb: They’re having an idea.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shamura: When Narinder was born, the gods said, "They're too perfect for this world."

Lamb: Please. When they were born, the devil said, "Oh, competition."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lamb: You know, sometimes dandelions remind me of Goat.

Marko: Aww, is it because they’re like a little sunshine, spreading light and hope everywhere?

Lamb: What? Gross, no, it’s because they’re like a weed that you can’t get rid of!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leshy, at Narinder's funeral: I need a moment with them.

Everyone: Of course. *They leave*

Leshy, leaning over Narinder′s coffin: Okay, listen here you little shit. I know you’re not dead.

Narinder: Yeah, no shit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lamb: Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt.

Narinder: Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Goat: You need a hobby.

Lamb: I have a hobby!

Goat: Fawning over Narinder isn’t a hobby.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lamb: So… I’ve seen you’ve been spending a lot of time with Marko recently.

Leshy: No, Lamb, it's not what it looks like, I swear.

Lamb: Oh really? So no reason for me to be jealous?

Leshy: No! You’re the only one for me.

Lamb: Is that so?

Leshy: I promise! Marko and I are just dating, okay? They’re my partner.

Lamb: So there are no best-friends-feelings involved?

Leshy: You are still my one and only best friend! They’re just the love of my life, nothing more!

Lamb: But I’m still the platonic love of your life, right?

Leshy: Of course bro!

Lamb: Bro...

Marko: What the-

[narumi-gens]

Platonic

Miya Osamu x f!Reader

summary: Osamu knows that there’s nothing going on between you and his brother. And yet, he still can’t help but be jealous.

warnings: minors/ageless/blank blogs dni, don't let the summary fool you – this is basically just 4k words of fluff, jealous!osamu, slightly insecure!osamu, married!osamu, dad!osamu, very normal relationship problems, the importance of communication, kita is always the voice of wisdom, osamu is really just a simp for you, reader and osamu are #CoupleGoals

notes: whenever I’m trying to get back into writing, stealing plots from sitcoms is always a guarantee so everything from the title to the banner to the plot is at least 80% lifted from platonic (which is such a wonderful show).

words: 4k

part of the Meet the Miyas series

Osamu is jealous. And he hates it. He hates the word. He hates the feeling. He hates what it says about him. He really hates how irrational it is.

But what he hates most is that the person that he's jealous of is his own brother (that scrub).

But maybe he's the scrub. Because it's dumb. You've been together for years. You trust him. You love him. You're committed to him. You're married to him. You’re the mother of his child. You're happy with the life that you've built together. 

And he knows that Atsumu is your best friend. You were Atsumu's friend before he even met you. Atsumu is the one who introduced the two of you, who set you up — which he'll never stop taking credit for if his speech at your wedding was anything to go by. So of course you spend a significant amount of time with his twin. 

It’s never really bothered him before. If anything, he’s typically relieved that you’re so close with Atsumu. The more you occupy the setter’s time, the less time he has to annoy Osamu. 

And you’re allowed to have friends and a life outside of being a wife and mother. He wants you to have fun and to be your own person outside of your relationship with him. He doesn’t expect you to go from home to work and back to repeat the cycle all over again the next day. Not that you would ever allow it. 

It wasn’t easy and it took a lot of hard work, but over the years, the two of you have built a happy balance between him running the restaurant, you pursuing your own thriving career, being doting parents to a three-year-old son, and still managing to keep your marriage healthy. So this gross feeling of jealousy has no place in his life, especially where Atsumu is concerned. 

But it creeps up on him slowly, needling its way into him before he even has a chance to stop it. He first feels it over something so small that it embarrasses him. 

He asks you if you want to go see a new movie that’s been advertised for months. His mom and yours are always eager to babysit — sometimes eager to the point of forcing you both out of the house for what’s declared “much-needed grandparent time.” 

“Oh, I promised Atsumu that I’d see it with him,” you reply with a slight tilt of your head before picking up your phone. “Let me check with him about us all going together.”

It’s a simple and obvious solution. You’ve already sent your message to Atsumu and are looking up showtimes for that weekend. But there’s a small voice in the back of Osamu’s head insisting that you should be asking him if Atsumu can come with the two of you, not the other way around. The unfamiliar thought makes him feel uncomfortable and he quickly shoves it away.

But just that small, intrusive voice is like a spark and it isn’t long before he finds himself hearing it again, fanning the pathetic, weak flame into something stronger.

One morning, he’s pulled from sleep by the blankets lifting and the mattress dipping. When he cracks open a bleary eye, he sees you doing your best to slip into bed without disturbing him. He can’t check the time on his phone without giving away that you’ve already woken him up. But from the pale grey light of early morning that’s already beginning to brighten the bedroom and the fact that Reiji isn’t already awake, Osamu guesses that it’s between five and six. 

He knows that you had plans with Atsumu last night. You told him that you would probably be back late. But “back late” feels like an understatement considering the joys of parenthood usually have both of you up in about an hour whether it’s a workday or not. 

When you come down a few hours later, the bags under your eyes and unkempt hair point to your inability to sleep in even after what he can only assume was an all-night rager. You pepper your son’s cheeks with exaggerated kisses that have him giggling over his breakfast as Osamu pours you a cup of what he’s sure is much-needed coffee. 

“Ya got home late last night,” he comments as you take the mug that he passes you.

“Ah, yeah. Just ended up going a little harder than I meant to,” you reply and something close to embarrassment seems to cross your features. You glance at Reiji, making sure his attention is on his food before you lower to voice to a furtive whisper. “I threw up in a karaoke room and had to sleep it off at Atsumu’s.”

His immediate instinct is to laugh in your face and he has to bite his lips and quickly look away from you to keep from doing so. You weakly punch his shoulder in response before sitting down at the table. 

But the amusement at your misfortune slowly starts to fade, replaced instead by that same voice, which is growing steadily more familiar. He can’t remember the last time that the two of you had a night like that together. He tries to think back on if it was before or after Reiji was born. And while you certainly don’t make vomiting in karaoke rooms a habit, it’s not at all rare for you and his brother to have a wild night out. 

When the voice asks why you’re having them with Atsumu but not with him, the only thing he can focus on is the knot in the pit of his stomach and how it only seems to grow tighter. 

He hears it again when he’s with Atsumu one day and he asks Osamu what he thinks about you rejecting a new job offer. The question is offhanded — he’s looking at his phone when asks it, barely even giving Osamu a fraction of his attention. 

But Osamu freezes. This is the first that he’s heard about any job offer. He didn’t even know that you were interviewing somewhere else. 

“What job offer?” His voice sounds thin and Atsumu seems to realize that he’s unintentionally stumbled into something much bigger because his thumb stops scrolling and there’s a line of tension in his shoulders that wasn’t there only moments ago. 

“Uh, it’s nothin’ big,” he quickly tries to assure his brother as he puts down his phone and turns to face him fully. “It just happened this week. Some new place made her an offer and she turned it down.”

Osamu merely hums, his expression betraying nothing, but his twin brother knows him too well.

“Look, I’m sure she just hasn’t gotten ‘round to telling ya,” he offers and Osamu can see the slight panic in his eyes. “She had that big meeting. And she’s been lookin’ after Reiji-kun since he’s been sick, right? Things’ve probably just been too crazy fer her to even think about it.”

Every excuse only digs the hole deeper. It’s not just this apparent job that you’ve been pursuing only to turn down that Atsumu knows about. It’s also your hectic work week and how you’ve been taking care of Reiji since the restaurant’s been too shorthanded for Osamu to stay home. 

What’s next? Is he going to mention that you’ve also been so busy the two of you haven’t had sex in almost three weeks? From the guilty look in his twin’s eyes, Osamu would bet good money that he’s already aware. 

On his way home, he tries to think about the best way to raise the subject with you and ultimately decides that there’s no good way to ask, “Hey. Why are ya tellin’ Tsumu things but not yer husband?”

(He knows that’s definitely the wrong way to phrase it, but that little voice won’t say it any other way.)

But when he enters your bedroom he finds you slouched against the headboard, fully passed out with Reiji sprawled on top of you as he clings to you even in his sleep. The light and tv are both still on. You’re obviously exhausted and stretched thin, while Osamu is looking to pick a fight. The guilt he feels is almost crippling. 

It probably hasn’t even occurred to you to mention the job offer with everything else going on. Atsumu is right, which only makes him feel worse. 

He comes toward the both of you and carefully tries to pick Reiji up out of your arms without waking either of you. But he’s only just managed to pry the sick toddler loose when your eyelids flutter open.

It takes you a moment to register what’s happening, still feeling the dregs of sleep, but when you do, you give him the softest smile and it makes him feel like an even bigger piece of shit.

“Did you just get home?” you whisper as you help him lift Reiji off of you. But before he can take your son too far away, you shift over and gesture for Osamu to place him in the middle of the bed. “He’ll cry if he wakes up in his room alone.”

“He doin’ any better?” Osamu quietly asks and does as you ask, gently putting him down before sitting down on your other side on the edge of the mattress. 

“His fever broke a couple of hours ago, so he should be back to normal in a day or two.” The news is a visible relief to you. It’s not just the amount of effort a sick child takes, but also the worry that’s been weighing you down. 

“Wish I coulda been ‘round more to help ya,” he tells you, his guilt about both doubting you and leaving you to take care of Reiji by yourself beginning to peek through.

“Hey, don’t worry about it,” you assure him, lifting a hand to run your fingers through his hat hair. “I know that you’re in a bind since Kimura-san quit. I’m the one with the flexible hours and schedule. I really don’t mind. We’re a team.”

He doesn’t deserve you.

“Well, the new part-timer starts next week so things’ll finally calm down,” he offers and something mischievous sparkles in your tired eyes.

“Good. Because when you can finally take some time off, we’re gonna pawn Reiji off on the grandparents. Then you’re gonna make it up to me by spending the entire night making me cum so hard I see stars,” you tell him, your tone leaving no room for argument, as if he would ever want to. 

“I can do that,” he agrees with a grin.

“We haven’t fucked in weeks,” you pout and Osamu can’t hold in his laughter, only for you to slap a hand over his mouth to keep him from waking up Reiji. 

Your own quiet giggles are able to momentarily drown out the small voice reminding him about the job offer that you’ve yet to tell him about. 

But a few weeks later, even after having the house to yourselves for an entire weekend and spending it fucking on every surface that you could like you used to do before Reiji came along, those embarrassing feelings of jealousy are still as present as ever.

You post a series of photos of you and Atsumu at a restaurant. The first picture is of your happy, smiling faces and the matching pair of five-pound gyoza on the table, one in front of each of you. As he swipes through the series, you both look worse and worse as you try to finish your gyoza. When he gets to the final one, you’re proudly holding a certificate from the restaurant for having finished yours in an hour, while Atsumu looks like he’s on death’s doorstep.

He’s so preoccupied swiping back and forth through the photos that when the restaurant door slides open, it startles him so badly that he almost drops his phone entirely. He doesn’t know whether or not to be relieved that it’s Kita coming to drop off a new order of rice rather than a customer who didn’t read the closed sign. 

On one hand, he doesn’t want to deal with a customer while he’s in the midst of indulging that voice that’s slowly becoming a companion. But on the other, dealing with Kita when he’s in a jealousy spiral is even worse.

“Is everything alright? Ya look like ya just got some bad news,” Kita observes with a small frown of concern.

As Osamu assures him that nothing’s wrong, he tries to hurriedly shove his phone into the pocket of his apron. However, it slips from his sweaty hands and skids across the floor of the restaurant where it comes face-up to a perfect stop right in front of Kita’s feet.

He picks it up and when he sees the final picture of you and Atsumu on the screen, he shakes his head in amusement. 

“Atsumu only sent me the picture of them at the start of the challenge,” he wryly says as he slides the restaurant door shut behind him and joins Osamu at the counter. He takes a moment to swipe through the rest of the photos in your post before passing the phone back. “I’m surprised ya didn’t go with ‘em.”

“I wasn’t invited,” he mumbled, vocalizing the bitter thought that’s been taking up so much space in his mind ever since you and Atsumu originally made the plans. But as soon as the words leave his lips, he knows he’s given himself away because he can feel Kita’s heavy gaze on him.

“Did ya ask if ya could join ‘em?” is Kita’s annoyingly reasonable response. After a few moments, Osamu gives the smallest shake of his head, confirming that no, he didn’t ask if he could go with you and his brother. 

“Y’know, yer wife is an amazing woman,” he finally says when it’s clear Osamu has nothing else to offer. “But fer all of her talents, she’s not a mind reader. Just talk to her.”

Osamu groans loudly at how rational Kita is being. He drops his head down to rest his forehead on the countertop, his Onigiri Miya hat flopping off in the process. While he agrees that it’s good advice, there’s still one problem.

“Kita-san…it’s embarrassing,” he protests childishly and he turns his head to the side to look up at his old team captain. “What am I supposed to say? ‘Stop spendin’ so much time with that scrub!’ I’ll sound like an idiot.”

“Just talk to her,” Kita repeats calmly and Osamu can only sigh. “Why don’t ya tell me how Reiji-kun’s been?”

For the rest of the day, Osamu finds himself trapped in an internal debate over whether or not he should take Kita’s advice. The ugly voice in his head insists that he shouldn’t have to say anything at all. If you really love him then you should already know. The more self-conscious part of him keeps warning him of how embarrassed he’ll be when he tells his wife, the mother of his child, the love of his life, that he’s jealous of how much time she spends with his brother. 

But a new voice, one that sounds exactly like Kita, simply asks him if he’s tired of feeling like this. Does he really want to keep harboring this resentment? It’ll only continue to fester and grow until it explodes, hurting everyone he loves. 

So that night, after he’s put Reiji to bed and the dishes are done and the laundry is folded and he has no more excuses left to procrastinate, he collapses next to you on the couch with an exaggerated sigh. You look up at him from your phone with an amused smile, only for it to slightly fall when you see how troubled he looks. 

“What’s going on? Did something happen at work?” you ask, turning to give him your full attention and scooting closer to him so that you can rest a gentle hand on his thigh. 

He shuts his eyes and gives himself a single moment to steel himself before finally letting out the poison that’s slowly been building inside of him for the last few months. 

“I have somethin’ to tell ya and it’s gonna make it seem like I’m fifteen or somethin’,” he says and he knows that if he didn’t sound so serious then you would be making a joke about him having some sort of wet dream and ruining the sheets. Instead, you give his thigh a reassuring squeeze. 

“Lately…fer the last few months…I’ve been feelin’ kinda…jealous.”

There. The words are out there in the world. You’ve heard them. He can go crawl into a hole and wait for the embarrassment to kill him. 

“Jealous? Of what?” 

He hates how concerned you sound. You’re not making light of his admission. You’re not confused. You’re being patient. You’re gentle. You’re so much better than him and his childish pettiness and resentment and jealousy. 

“You and stupid Tsumu,” he grumbles, slouching down even further into the couch. He glances over at you from the corner of his eye and sees the look of surprise on your face. He shuts his eyes again, balling his hands into fists, and tells himself to man the fuck up.

With his nerves now steeled, he takes a deep breath, sits up straight, and turns to fully face you. 

“Look, I know that ya got this weird friendship with Tsumu and that he’s yer best friend. And it’s never been a big deal before, but lately, I dunno…,” he trails off, his gaze darting down before he forces it back up to meet yours. “I’ve just been feelin’ a little…cut out.”

“Osamu,” you murmur, lifting a hand to his face but he quickly takes it between both of his so that he can hold it tight and keep himself steady. 

“I love you and our family and the life we’ve built together. I wouldn’t change any of it fer anything,” he’s quick to assure you, needing you to know that you make him happier than he ever thought he could be. “But sometimes I see ya hangin’ out with Tsumu and havin’ fun and it sounds dumb but, I wish I could see more of that part of yer life.”

You softly repeat his name before you climb into his lap. You wrap an arm around his shoulders to hold him close and pull your other hand from his grasp so that you can cup his cheek with a loving touch. 

“I’m so sorry that I’ve made you feel that way,” you tell him. “You’re always gonna come first. I don’t ever want you to feel excluded or like I’m trying to keep the different pieces of my life compartmentalized.”

Just hearing your apology and acknowledgment of the irrational jealousy that’s been plaguing him soothes his insecurities and embarrassment. 

“I want ya to be able to go do things on yer own and do things with Tsumu without feelin’ like ya gotta bring me along every time. But ya just look like yer havin’ fun when yer gettin’ up to stupid things together and I guess, I just wanna have fun with ya too,” he shrugs. Despite how true it is, he hates how cheesy he sounds. But from the way that you’re looking at him with so much affection, you clearly find it touching. 

“I love having fun with you, Osamu,” you smile back at him and his cheeks start to feel warm. “I’d love to do more stupid things with you.”

“Even if that stupid thing is spendin’ 20,000 yen at an arcade to beat a bunch of teens for the high score?” he asks and it comes out shyer than he intended. “Or buyin’ out every flavor of chips and every type of snack from the konbini just to rank ‘em?”

“Even then,” you nod with a grin. “Even if it’s needing to make a cab pull over to throw up after a night of drinking.”

“I thought it was the karaoke room?” he frowns in confusion.

“It was the karaoke room for me. The cab was Atsumu,” you tell him with a laugh and he snorts in response. 

But then, since this is a time for honesty, he decides to bring up the question that’s been weighing heavily on his mind for the last few weeks. 

“Why didn’t ya tell me about the job offer?” he gently asks, the question curious rather than accusatory.

“Job offer?” The line of your mouth twists down and your eyebrows knit together as you try to understand what he’s referring to. 

“Tsumu said ya turned down a job offer. It was around when Reiji was sick,” he explains and his tone turns slightly hesitant. “Did ya feel like ya couldn’t tell me?”

Your eyes spark with recognition before you roll them in annoyance.

“Atsumu’s an idiot. He never listens,” you begin to rant and he’s not too proud to admit that hearing your irritation directed towards his twin extinguishes the last remaining embers of his jealousy. “It wasn’t a job offer. A recruiter reached out about a job opening for a position that involves more work for less pay. I didn’t even reply.”

He feels an odd mixture of relief, guilt, and frustration. He’s relieved that this was just some misunderstanding, but he feels just as guilty for jumping to the worst conclusion and thinking that you were something big from him. The frustration will be dealt with when he next sees his twin and gives him an earful and delivers a slap to the back of his head.

“I’m sorry fer not just askin’ ya ‘bout it sooner,” he says and you just give him a look of understanding. 

“You and me, we’re only human. There are just gonna be times when I forget to tell you something or just don’t think to bother with it. But I’ll always do my best to make sure you know when there’s something going on. We’re a team, remember?” You run your fingers caringly through his hair with a soft smile and he leans eagerly into your touch.

“We’re a team,” he repeats quietly, finding the words comforting. He then gives you a slightly embarrassed look. “Hey, don’t tell Tsumu, okay? He’ll just call me a scrub.”

You place a reassuring kiss on his lips before nodding. 

“Don’t worry. You’re a scrub, but you’re my scrub and I love you.” He can’t help but laugh as he wraps his arms around your middle and hugs you close. “But, you wanna do something crazy, huh?”

When he looks up at you, it’s to find a hint of wildness creeping into your expression. It’s the same wildness he used to see when you first started dating — before you both became adults and spouses and parents with real responsibilities. 

The next day, Atsumu stops by the restaurant in the late afternoon during a lull. His appearance is unannounced, meaning that Osamu hasn’t had a chance to prepare himself for what he knows is to come. It’s as bad as he imagined because as soon as the setter walks in, he freezes, his expression going slack in shock at the sight of Osamu.

Or more correctly, at the sight of Osamu’s hair, which has been amateurishly dyed to be the same shade of grey that he used to wear in high school. 

“Don’t even start,” he warns but doing so is pointless because Atsumu immediately bursts into laughter, finding it so funny that he has to clutch his stomach as he bends over. 

“Who’s idea was this?” he manages to ask in between his gasps for air and his cackles. “Ya look so stupid!”

Osamu just stares at him blankly, not bringing up the fact that Atsumu is the one who’s been wearing the exact same hairstyle since they were sixteen, and isn’t that even more pathetic? 

Because for all of the mocking that he receives, he knows it was worth it for the time he spent joking and laughing with you into the late hours of the night in your tiny bathroom as you did your best to dye his hair without burning his scalp.