#PICKS HIM UP AND SPINS HIM AROUND AND AROUND AND AROUND AND AROUND AND AROUND AND

[nerdygirlramblings]

The 141 and being "our wife" (for @beloveds-embrace based on this)

You're up to your elbows in flour, prepping the dough for Yorkshire pudding, when you hear the rumble of an engine in the drive. You wait until it's followed by four thunks before drawing in a deep breath.

Just as you're about to shout up the stairs, you hear a set of footsteps thunder down from the second floor.

"Dad's home!" your oldest, Kinsey, shouts to you.

"I heard hunny," you call back. "Can you get the door? I'm sure Papa's going to have a bunch of things with him."

"Alright, Mom," Kinsey says. It sounds like she's in the entryway. You hear the squeak of the hinges as she opens the front door. As it does, you hear your youngest's happy scream. Bailey must be able to see out the window.

"Da! Da! Da! Da!" he babbles.

"Yes, Bae, that's Daddy," you hear your middle child, Emma, tell him. You smile to yourself, proud of how well your kids get along. You're still musing over your little family when a rumble pulls you out of your reverie.

"Hey, Kins," John's voice says. "Where's your mama?"

"Mama's in the kitchen," Emma responds.

"Emma, my sunshine!" he crows. You hear her giggle and can only imagine John's picking her up and probably tossing her into the air. A squeal proves your instinct right.

"Munchkin!" you hear Simon call. He must have been just behind John.

You hear Kinsey groan at the nickname, but it's impossible to miss the smile in her voice when she says, "Welcome home, Dad."

It's Johnny's voice you hear next. "Where's my Em girl?" he says. It's followed by a grunt, a squeal, and and a, "Watch it, MacTavish," in John's deep baritone. Johnny probably snatched the girl right out of John's arms.

You hear the wheels of Bailey's walker rattle along the floor as Kyle's voice joins the fray. "Baby boy! You've gotten so big!"

Bailey coos, "Da. Da. Da. Da," at him, which earns a guffaw from Johnny.

"Tha's yer Daddy. I'm Da!"

As you listened to your children greet their fathers, you put the dough into the cooker and are washing up. You wipe your wet hands on the tea towel, and a pair of strong hands fall on your waist. The man smells like sunshine and tobacco.

John's beard tickles your throat when he leans to kiss you. "Thank you, Mama," he whispers. You know from previous deployments he's thanking you for waiting for them, for caring for the kids in their absence, for carrying the weight of everything by yourself. "We're home now." He punctuates his message with another kiss as you feel Simon enter the room.

You step away from John's embrace to wrap your arms around as much of Simon as you can manage. You don't say anything, and neither does he. He drops a kiss on the hair and holds you tight for one minute, then two. When you feel him unfurl, tension seeping away, you finally whisper, "Welcome home, Si."

"Missed you, Mama," he replies. He gives you another tight squeeze before stepping back. You turn to find Kyle leaning against the door frame. He smiles at you, and you open your arms for him.

He picks you up with a spin. "Ky," you giggle, feeling decades younger.

"Mama," he says, "it smells amazing in here." He smiles at you. "You take such good care of us." He pulls you against him and brushes his lips across yours. "Thank you," he murmurs.

"Always," you reply, cupping his cheek. You close your eyes and press your forehead to his. "Always," you whisper again.

Finally, Johnny's behind you, practically pulling you from Kyle's hug. "Stop hogging our missus, Garrick. I didnae get a turn yet." You see Kyle roll his eyes, but he lets you go, passing you gently into Johnny's arms. "Mama," Johnny says, looking you in the eye. "It's so good tae be home."

You wrap your arms around his neck, playing with the hair at the base of his skull. "It's good to have you all home." You close your eyes and breathe deeply. You try to blink them away, but you feel the tears lining your eyes. "So so good."

This last deployment was longer than anyone thought it would be. After three months, they went radio silent, and if Kate hadn't been giving you updates, you would have been out tracking your men across the desert. Six months alone. Six months raising three kids on your own. Six months worrying about them every day.

But they were home now. And that was enough.

[daryldove]

Distraction

daryl x gn!reader

summary: you keep daryl company daryl while he recovers in the farm house

“cut it out,” you giggle, squirming under daryl's hand as he jabs your side playfully. after offering to take the injured hunter some dinner, you manage to convince him to let you stay and keep him company, something he'll deny enjoying if anyone asks. truthfully, you two had become rather close after everything. although from his perspective, not by choice. “You're supposed to be resting, mister,” you scold him with a smirk as you adjust your position against the headboard.

“can't when ya botherin’ me.” you gasp dramatically at his sarcastic comeback. daryl is incredibly charming, even when he didn't mean to be. it's one of the things you quite admire about him, as well as his sarcastic humour, something the others didn't get to witness to the extent you did. you're not even completely sure if they knew it existed. but he knew how to make you laugh, and he seemed to enjoy it.

“is that what this is now? and here I thought you loved my company, dixon.” that earns you a scoff in response. “admit it,” you continue with a proud tone, “im your favourite in the group.” he doesn't respond right away, forcing you to turn your attention from staring ahead to check on him. the sudden, unexpectedly soft look in his eye has you momentarily speechless.

“what?” you internally thank any god out there that your voice doesn't crack in that moment. gaze flicking over his dirty face, you can't help admire how oddly adorable he looks bundled up under sheets and wrapped in bandages. you feel your heart clench. eventually, daryl shrugs it away with a grunt, shutting himself back off. it's something he does often. you can practically see the thought piling up in his mind, but he always holds back. it stirs an unaccustomed feeling in your gut. complicated.

something feels different this time. maybe because for the first time since you met him, you feel safe. vulnerable. he's lying injured before you, both protected by four walls. it feels wrong to take advantage of this moment to open him up, but maybe that's what it'll take. “are your stitches bothering you?” his hand stops yours from reaching out to touch the bandage around his head, freezing you in place. his hand is rough and warm around yours, short circuiting your mind for a split second. you don't pull away, despite him probably expecting you to. instead, you lean closer towards him.

daryl's eyes flick between yours, as if answers to his curiousity reflects in them. you want to tease him, say something out of pocket that will turn him speechless. instead, you move your hand to rest against his cheek. he practically flinches as you cup his face, reacting like he's undeserving of the softness of your touch. but it doesn't appear unwanted. never.

“how are you feeling?” you ask with a light voice. it's not about his injuries, and he seems to pick up on that. he nods slightly and clears his throat before answering. “good… fine.” your smile grows at his shyness.

“that so?” finally, you let yourself be playful, reassured that he won't be so easily scared off. his gaze is intense and unwavering, and you find yourself unable to resist anymore. leaning down until your lips are barely inches apart, you give him just enough time to pull away. part of you expects him to, like the wall you spent all this time breaking down will be pitched back up in seconds. but he doesn't, nor does he shout and fling himself off the bed to avoid you like your anxiety is convinced he would. so you finally press your lips against his.

daryl's eyes widen in surprise and disbelief while yours subconsciously flutter shut. kissing him feels exactly like you imagined. you can feel your cheeks heating up once you finally pull away, a nervous giggle escaping you at how dazed he looks.

“what?” a smile creeps onto your lips as you question him again. you can practically see daryl's mind spinning as he speechlessly stares up back at you. there's an unreadable look in his eye as seconds pass. unable to help it, your eyes fall to his lips. this time, it's him who pulls you in with a large hand on your neck. his boldness pulls a surprised moan that he swallows.

“guess i am a good distraction,” you whisper after eventually pulling away, scoring a rare, soft chuckle from the hunter.

“guess so.”

[cherie-doll]

COD men’s reaction to their daughter having a boyfriend?

heh

༢ུ· Price, Ghost, Soap, Gaz, Roach, Alejandro, Rudy, Phillip Graves, Makarov, Keegan, König, Horangi, Nikto

۶ৎ Price...

It wouldn't ONLY be Price worrying over who this new boy in his daughter's life was, it's the entire task force that is there against Price's wishes, and that's only because he HAPPENED to open his big mouth and spill the beans on his daughter dating

Simply shakes his head, pinching the bridge of his nose as the backup team of Ghost, Gaz and Soap walk in, heck even Laswell is on the line calling Price giving him "advice"

I can imagine Price telling his daughter to leave the room once you're all settled in, and you just raise an eyebrow and give him a look like asking "what's going on?", he tells you to leave too and the boyfriend is sitting there, confused, palms sweaty as Price readjusts in his seat clearing his throat and saying "let's get one thing straight"

He really just wanted to set some things straight, but poor boy thought he was about to get kicked out or beaten because this is a man who's been in the military for years, not to mention the big buff guys who keep peeking over the corner with a menacing look every once in a while

Afterwards, you come around to Price asking what he told the boy, surely he didn't scare him away, right? He didn't, only told him to treat his daughter well and there wouldn't be any problems

۶ৎ Ghost...

Would be super protective, well what parent wouldn't? but he's on a different level, and both you and your daughter knew this, so your daughter tried finding a good moment to introduce the boyfriend

She let him know ahead of time so the initial shock response happened before he was able to get his hands on the poor young man dating your daughter, when the moment came Simon couldn't even sit still

He was standing, arms crossed as he leaned against the doorframe between the kitchen and living room when his daughter walked in with her boyfriend, staring daggers into the back of his head

Simon would never tell his daughter to break up or leave a boy she was into, but he would definitely warn her to be cautious, he just doesn't want her to be hurt, and God forbid THAT happen

He would go to whatever lengths necessary to keep that from happening, a heavy hand on the boyfriend's shoulder every time he comes to pick her up for a date, a subtle way of reminding him who's he dealing with

Surely, he wouldn't make a careless mistake while dating Simon's daughter

۶ৎ Soap...

He shares the same excitement as his daughter when she announces she's been asked out, he's happy for his girl, he's always seeking what's best for her and hopes she's happy, but when that initial enthusiasm wears off... he realizes he knows nothing about who asked his daughter out

Then, you have to hold him back from bombarding your daughter with questions, he'd annoy her real fast and that would only make her clam up and not reveal any information

He's worried about the type of guy who attracted his daughter, what if it was a criminal? Someone who could ruin her, do more harm than good? What if it didn't work out? What if it ended in heartbreak-

You have to knock some sense into him before he gets ahead of himself, if you were patient and kept your cool, your daughter would reveal all the details necessary herself without having to pry much and make it feel like an interrogation

He actually gets along quite well with his daughter's boyfriend once they get to know each other, they are obnoxious together and it annoys the hell out of not only you but your daughter too when they both end up spending more time together on Sundays

۶ৎ Gaz...

He was cooking breakfast when his daughter waltzed in, spinning and holding her phone close to her chest, Kyle smiled as he flipped a pancake, "And what's got you smiling like that?", he expected it to be something a teen her age would be giddy about, a band she liked coming to town? New episode of her favorite show released?

None of that turns out she's seeing a guy and he just asked her to be his girlfriend, when I tell you this man's jaw DROPPED and you had to call his name multiple times to bring him back to earth, "Honey...Kyle? The pancakes are burning"

You hugged your daughter and he did the same but as soon as she went back to her room he turned to you, whisper-yelling "Did I hear that right?", and you have to remind him it's normal for teens to start having an interest in dating

He truly is happy for his daughter, he just can't help but be a little worried, he'd hate for someone to break her vulnerable heart, but you bet he'd be very attentive and patient when his daughter wants to rant or has her first breakup

I don't think he'd be overly jealous, he'd only go on full dad mode if someone is selfish and hurts his daughter or tries forcing her to do something she doesn't want to, which is why he constantly sets an example with how he treats you so his daughter won't stand any bullshit her boyfriend tries to pull

۶ৎ Roach...

He'd probably just be shocked, not understanding entirely what his daughter just announced to the both of you, a boyfriend?! but wasn't it just yesterday that he was taking her elementary school? Roach hasn't realized how fast time flies, surely his daughter meant a boy FRIEND

He's quickly proven wrong when she calls out a name he hasn't heard before, and walking in is a young man the same age as his daughter, who comes to place an arm around her and introduce himself

oh, Roach couldn't mistake that look he just saw on his daughter's face, her eyes gleaming and bright as she looked up at her boyfriend

He greets the boyfriend but will then sit quietly and observe the entire time he's there, analyzing every move and sentence that comes out of that boy's mouth, he has a real knack for deciphering people's underlying intentions that you trust his instincts if he says either there is no malice detected from his daughter's boyfriend or if he senses something wrong

He mostly lets you handle this one because he doesn't know much about how kids date nowadays and lets you give advice instead

۶ৎ Alejandro...

He used to sometimes tense up whenever his relatives or someone would joke about his daughter growing up and having a partner, whenever it was brought up at a function he'd simply say nothing and continue to drink his beer quietly

Well his little girl did grow up and she kept the relationship somewhat of a secret for a while, afraid of what her dad's reaction would be, you had to be the one to sit him down and tell him while your daughter nervously waited in her room only for his reaction to be much better than you anticipated, hugged his daughter saying how happy he was to hear that

Still, sometimes he seemed to forget that the guy his daughter frequently brought around was her boyfriend because he kept referring to him as "ese amiguito tuyo" ("that little friend of yours")

Would make him do manual labor whenever your daughter brought her boyfriend around, Alejandro would ask him to help mow the lawn, or clean out the gutters with him, maybe help him finish building something and meanwhile they would have casual conversation

Overall, the boyfriend grew on Alejandro more and more that at this point he was considered a son and part of the family

۶ৎ Rudy...

He is very close with his daughter and has constantly been there for her in moments when she was a vulnerable teen, and he showered her with love and praise when she achieved her goals and accomplishments, he never had a reason to show hostility when she came home from college announcing that she had been in a relationship for a few months and wanted to introduce her boyfriend

Rudy couldn't help but feel just a little worried but he tried his best to keep those doubts hidden as to not come off as unwelcoming or controlling when he shook the hand of the man who had swept his daughter off her feet

I think Rudy was more worried about how he was acting in front of them that he even asked if he was balanced in his thoughts, you had to remind him that it was normal to worry about who your children chose to date, you had spent years raising and protecting them after all, but the fact that he was conscious of this proved how even now he put his daughter's wishes ahead of his own worries

He treated his daughter's boyfriend like a second son and always reminded his daughter how proud he was of her, he wished her all the happiness in the world in this new chapter of her life, it reminded him of when you and him started dating <3

۶ৎ Phillip Graves...

Who could be worthy of dating his daughter? The daughter of a commander? He had given her everything she wished for and more, was his daughter so sure she wanted to date so soon? Not that he was against it, he just sort of had high expectations

Phillip would have preferred if it had been someone he already knew, maybe one of his Shadow's children who were around the same age as his daughter, because then he already knew their family, etc...

But this introduction of someone new had him alert, he was ready to do anything in favor of his daughter if they made her upset, turns out he had nothing to worry about because his daughter was dating a nerd, what her boyfriend lacked in social skills he excelled in academics and personality, not to say he treated her like Phillip had always accustomed his daughter to being treated

The same delicate attention and sincerity, Phillip liked that right away and was always asking his daughter when she'd invite her boyfriend over again

Next thing you knew, Phillip would gladly tell anyone willing to listen how his daughter was not only the best daughter he had but he now also had a great future son-in-law

۶ৎ Makarov...

Uhmm, he would be VERY well informed of any guy that would show interest in his daughter, probably senses it before the daughter even develops strong feelings for the interested guy

He has his ways of finding out everything on the guy, his background, family, financial status, his connections... everything, and imagine the reaction of his daughter when she finds out what her dad's been up to in his free time, she would freak out and demand for him to stop

They argue nonstop for hours, going back and forth until finally they make a deal, he stops "stalking" her boyfriend if she agrees to introduce the boyfriend to Makarov soon, they both agree and a date and time is set

You're with Makarov at the restaurant they agreed to meet up, and you're reminding Makarov to be reasonable while you wait for your daughter and her boyfriend to arrive

Makarov is looking down, fiddling with the eating utensils on the table as he breathes through his nose, you think he's too mad to respond to you but he gives in and nods, you smile and press a tender kiss to his cheek which seems to lighten his face up, a smile appearing on his lips

But that smile quickly disappears when he looks up to meet his daughter's boyfriend, this will be a long evening for him...

۶ৎ Keegan...

Keegan thinks that the young man who's knocking on your front door is a salesman or someone coming to offer their services, he's dressed sort of nice so Keegan is kind in turning him away, "Sorry, Kid. I'm not buying anything you've come to sell" and he's about to close the door when his daughter comes quickly, "Dad! That's my boyfriend"

Boyfriend? "Since when-" And he's left standing there, dumbfounded as you come to the rescue and welcome the boy in, you have to nudge Keegan with your elbow to remind him to be polite

He used to always say he'd come out with a gun to run off any guy who tried to bother his daughter but this caught him completely off guard, Keegan ends up not being able to find anything offensive or rude about his daughter's boyfriend to use against him so he has to come to terms with the fact that he's fine with it and lets them be

Your daughter secretly knew this which is why she wasn't as worried when inviting her boyfriend over, didn't tell Keegan and only let you know because she knew he'd take it better if he wasn't expecting anyone

۶ৎ König...

"Is it not too young-" You stop him there before he can say anything more, your daughter had just interrupted you reading and König just so happened to be around to hear when your daughter mentioned a guy

He doesn't understand that some start dating in their teens or as young adults because he never really gave it much thought when he was that age, he assumed everyone else was like that

He doesn't know how to react when there's a guy just there, suddenly and shaking his hand, König is too immersed in his thoughts to notice how nervous the guy is as he looks up at the intimidating height of König, he could easily be snapped in half, and he thought he was tall...

Your daughter's boyfriend also isn't used to how silent König gets sometimes, so he's sitting there worried and shaking thinking he said or did something wrong for his girlfriend's father to just be dead silent, not directing a word to him but instead muttering under his breath

König is just trying to think of what to ask, because in situations like these he needs to find out stuff about his daughter's boyfriend, right?

۶ৎ Horangi...

This man is not taking it seriously, at all, now is not the time to bring up an old video he had taken when his daughter was five years old saying how she wasn't ever going to marry or like a boy

He's clowning her with his video he somehow still had saved while your daughter just sits there like -_-, you have to try and convince him to put the phone away before the waiter at the restaurant you're at comes over to ask him to leave for disrupting the other customers

He unintentionally interrupts their dates or when they're having a moment by calling his daughter on her phone or if they're at your house he comes around to the living room to watch tv even though they were trying to have a conversation in that room

So you have to constantly keep him distracted and occupied or else he'll want to go join his daughter and her boyfriend because he thinks whatever they're doing is a lot more fun and he thinks it's back like when his daughter was a little girl and was always inviting him to play games together

۶ৎ Nikto...

While he couldn't ever be bothered to pay attention at the dinner table when his daughter mentioned having a new crush at school, Nikto became a lot more serious when your daughter brought over a guy for dinner, who is this boy and what's he doing sitting and eating in his house?

He's confused to see the that who his daughter spent evenings talking to on the phone is this ordinary guy eating beside him, Nikto looks over to you and notices how attentive you are to everything the boy is saying, you smile and nod endlessly and he wonders if he should be doing the same

But with the scar on his lip it's hard to make it seem as pleasant as yours, he focuses on just listening and eating in silence, once the boy leaves he asks who that was, a partner his daughter brought to work on something school related? "No, Nikto. That's her boyfriend" HER WHAT-

Suddenly, he wishes he would have tuned in a little sooner when he had noticed the boy, Nikto simply turns to your daughter, "Does he treat you well?" She meekly answers yes and Nikto shrugs, "No problems, we're good" and he leaves for his nap

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Handle With Care 1

Warnings: non/dubcon, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Characters: Bucky Barnes

Summary: your work blurs the lines between professional and personal.

Note: I'm on a Bucky kick and can't stop myself.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

The caller ID flashing on your dashboard display makes you groan. What the hell is Sam calling for? He should be patiently waiting at the venue.

You know even before you answer what the issue is. It's the same as it always is. It can never be about anyone but him.

"Wilson," you answer matter-of-factly, "I know I'm not late."

"Never are," he confirms. "It's not you."

"Oh, I know," you put your blinker on and check the traffic behind you, "you're really going to make me pull a U-ey."

"I know, I'm sorry. Again."

"You know, I never had another job where I had to make sure my co-workers got their asses out of bed," you spin the wheel and your tires squeal on the tarmac.

"Co-workers... dang, I thought we were more than that." You can hear his pout through the phone.

"Me and you, maybe," you drone.

"Hey, he's been trying," he argues.

"Yeah, I know. You think I don't try, Wilson?"

"Look, I'll make it up to you."

"You say that a lot," you shake your head at the road.

"Look, I gotta go. It's my big day," he intones.

"Please, do. Stop worrying about the old man." You insist. "Might not be in the job description, but I'll get it done. As always. See ya soon."

"See ya." He hangs up and your music comes back on. Not for long. You idle at a light and dial out another call.

Bucky's name flashes as you wait for a pick up. Of course, he can't be bothered. On this day of all. You sigh and try two more times as you get closer to his place. Nothing.

You get out and nearly trip out of the strappy heels. Wilson owes you indeed, for more than the personal house call. You teeter up over the curb and grab onto the railing. You climb the concrete steps and pound on the front door of the townhouse.

"Barnes," you holler through. "I know you didn't forget."

You hammer again. You only stop when your fist throbs. You shake out your hands and huff. You stomp and feel the skinny heel bend dangerously. Fuck.

You don't got the tech on you to unlock the keypad, looks like the old-fashioned way will do. You shift your clutch and pull out your nail file. Bastard. You better not break a nail for his reclusive ass.

You go around back and use the file to latch the kitchen window. You know Bucky is his own security but he really should get a proper alarm. You punch the screen in and grab the frame. You haul yourself into your waist and balance there, the ledge pressing on your stomach. The smell of coffee greets you in a bold waft.

You look up as Bucky leans his vibranium palm on the counter and watches you. You snarl and reach out. "A little help?"

He keeps his coffee to his lips and nears, grabbing your forearm to leverage you inside. Your knees touch the counter and you kneel there as you catch your breath. He lets go, watching you over the brim.

"You coulda knocked," he says.

"I did," you slip your legs out from under you. "Loud."

"I was in the shower."

"Great, at least you got that done," you chide.

"Coffee?" He offers as he points to the french press.

"Barnes," you warn with a point. "Please."

You stare at him. He's in a pair of sweats and a tee shirt. His slippers are the sort of plaid that you find in a nursing home. You hold back a growl.

"You know what today is."

"I don't think I should go," he grumbles.

"Are you serious? Don't be a sour puss--" A sudden white flash lands beside you and the rattling purr rumbles against your leg. You pause to pet Alpine as if she heard you deriding her breed. "Not you," you assure her.

"I don't want to ruin it--"

"Barnes, you can put a suit on and sit pretty," you push off the counter and your ankles turn to noodles as you barely keep from a sprain. "Look at me, all dressed up like a prize pig, so go put an apple in your mouth."

He rolls his eyes, "he doesn't need me--"

"Bull," you interject.

You march past him. This is how it is. You can deal with it on missions. That's just how it goes. Most men you work with are obstinate to the point of being another adversary on their own. But outside the job, it's a bit too much.

You go down the hall and slow. It takes a moment to get your bearings. You've never been much further than the front door. You ignore the clutter across the front room floor and charge upstairs.

"Hey, what're you doing?" Bucky stands at the bottom as you stomp up.

You don't answer him. You go into his bedroom. You stop and look around. The bed is made, possibly unslept in. The room doesn't look used much at all. You go to his closet and slide the door open. You find a pair of slacks and a jacket. Tie, shirt, all presentable enough.

He appears in the doorway. You lay everything on the bed.

"Get dressed," you demand.

"I'll call Sam--"

"No, Wilson is busy. It's his day. You wanna know how you're going to ruin it?" You approach him and cross your arms. "By going AWOL. Not today, Barnes. Now, get yourself together."

You strut out and shut the door. You stop outside and call through. "Five minutes."

You continues down to the stairs and idle there. You check your phone. You can make it. Easy. He just needs to get his ass in gear.

When the door opens, you turn to him. His tie is undone. You go to him and grab it, knotting it roughly, not that he would notice.

"You couldn't shave in the shower?" You huff.

"Hey, I can do it," he tries to bat you away.

"Then why didn't you do it twenty minutes ago?" He shrugs and you pull his tie straight. You tug his lapels and straighten his jacket. "And the rest." You flick your fingers toward his face.

He shakes his head and goes into the bathroom. He grabs his comb as you linger and you see him in the mirror dragging the teeth through his thick hair. It's to his collar now. You told him to get a hair cut. He never listens. Not your problem. Well, only for today.

"Damn..."

"Here," you dip into the bathroom and grab the comb. "Just--"

You reach for the tin of gel. You just need him to look somewhat presentable. You part his hair neatly and comb it back behind his head, moving around him to check nothing's out of place. He stares at the floor. You don't want to embarrass him but goddamnit.

"Okay," you pop the cap on and wipe your hands on the towel hanging in the loop. "Let's go."

His eyes stray to the wall and he mopes. You take a breath.

"Barnes, it's for Sam," you say.

"I know," he croaks and heaves. He lifts his head and puts his shoulders straight. "I'll do my best not to fuck this up."

[fandom-susceptible]

"You're my -" "I'm your daughter."

Runaan catching Callum when he jumps into the boat after helping the elves escape, even when he himself was barely strong enough to walk there

Rayla running to find safety in Callum's arms after Lyrennus rejects her, and how he curls around her

Janai trying to learn sign language made for people with five fingers just to talk to Amaya better

Ethari braiding Rayla's hair before she left to Katolis the first time

Soren genuinely trying to help Callum look cool in front of his sister, even during his "bully" years

The way Runaan and Ethari smile at each other after their first kiss in two years

Soren making stupid fart jokes to remind Ezran it's okay to just Be A Kid sometimes

Ethari telling Runaan about what happened to Rayla within minutes of being reunited, because she matters so much to them

Corvus baking every year for Amaya's birthday

Gren's look of concern towards Runaan's cell, even though he's a soldier who's been raised and trained to see him as an enemy

The way Amaya picks him up and spins him around in a hug because she's so happy to see him after he returns to the battlefront from Katolis

The way Callum and Ezran's love is never made the butt of a joke, and they tell each other they love each other so freely and honestly

Corvus' anxiety about losing Ezran after finding the boys, and giving Ezran rides on his shoulders to help teach Zym how to fly

The way Ethari's wedding cuffs on his horns have gems the same color as his husband's eyes, and turquoise gems that match show up on more of his clothing after two years apart

Soren being simultaneously protective and a goof with Callum and Ezran, being the big brother for them that Claudia wouldn't let him be for her

The way Harrow cuddles his bird

Harrow thinking of Callum as his son from the beginning

Soren doing push ups with the boys and Bait on his back

The way Harrow and Sarai refused to be absent parents while also being monarchs, going sledding and building snowmen and teaching their kids new games

The rose Harrow gave Sarai while courting her, and the way she smiled

The way Barius lets Ezran steal jelly tarts, because it reminds everyone of Sarai

The bird's name is Pip, and he peeps. Harrow is a pokemon collector

Janai making a habit of taking Amaya out for romantic picnics

Callum just freely saying he's in love with Rayla when a child attempts to tease him

On that note, Callum clearly having thought about having kids with her before when Lira brings up the concept

The way Ethari laughs at Callum and Rayla's shock at "ten babies", and how Runaan smiles at him after he starts

Small moments in TDP to remind us of love despite the horrors

The Amaya and Corvus forehead touch

Callum sharing Harrow’s letter about history being a narrative of love with Ezran sometime during the time skip 

Soren carrying Ezran on piggyback 

Ezran deciding his big brother needs a 17th birthday party to get cheered up 

Soren caring and worrying about Zubeia’s infection 

Callum stroking Rayla’s hand with his thumb

Soren opening up to Corvus about his mom’s photo being tucked in his armor

Sarai and Amaya signing to each other and laughing

The Baitlings. Just them. 

Rayla singing Stella to sleep 

The Callum and Rayla fist bump 

Ezran running to Rayla the moment he saw she came back and making it known he wants her on the mission 

Callum copying the tickle thing Harrow used to do with him and Ezran 

Ezran teaching Zym how to fly 

Soren “giving” Aunt Amaya a punch in the arm “from him” 

Rayla being hugged in the middle of all her boys

Ezran telling Rayla he loves her in front of Sorvus and Ruthari 

Callum setting up the boat with all the little animals 

Terry kissing Claudia’s forehead

Callum being so excited Amaya was getting married he tossed his staff to rush to her and Gren had to catch it 

Amaya coming to Gren and saying for advice on how to write her vows 

Callum wishing Ezran was there because “he’d know what to do” with the star weaver spider 

Astrid asking complete strangers if they were Aunt Amaya

Stella playing with Soren’s hair when him and Rayla were hugging 

Rayla touching Callum’s face lovingly 

Amaya holding Janai after her nightmares

Callum having a drawing of Rayla in his office 

Bait. Just Bait. Their grumpy emotional-support therapy toad. 

Callum memorizing and reciting Damien’s poetry 

Soren wearing pajamas under his armor

Callum tying a bracelet of phoenix feathers around Rayla’s wrist 

Gren bring the best third wheel ever 

Zubeia laughing at Soren’s jokes 

Rayla kissing Esmeray so gently 

Callum going straight to Ezran to tell him he loves him after reading Harrow's letter

Bait patting Soren’s foot to let him know he wasn’t a “failed son”

Callum finally calling Harrow ‘Dad’ 

Corvus clapping at Soren’s jokes. 

Callum’s wing hugs. They look like the warmest safest hugs ever. 

Soren apologizing to Callum and squeezing him on the Storm Spire steps. Fastforward two years and they are holding each other.

Kazi’s “wild and crazy student years” 

Sarai proving that love knows no bounds by falling in love with a poet then a king 

Ezran holding Callum in his arms when he had passed out even though they were fighting 

Callum pushing back Rayla’s hair 

Adoraburs. Just adoraburs. 

[octuscle]

Voodoo Brogramming

Ethan was built different, bro. While the other dudes at his college were chugging protein shakes, flexing in the gym mirrors, and hyping each other up with aggressive fist bumps, Ethan was out there spinning and twirling in the dance studio. He was a junior, a hardcore ballet guy, and had zero respect for the gym bros whose entire existence revolved around lifting heavy stuff and putting it back down.

But there was one dude in particular who really got on his nerves: Chad, the football team’s quarterback. Absolute unit. Biceps bigger than his vocabulary. Dude was more obsessed with protein powder than most people were with, like, art or philosophy. "Honestly, I wonder if he’s got more IQ points or more grams of protein in his shake," Ethan joked one night to his dance crew. The room erupted in laughter.

Chad, however, caught wind of it. And Chad did NOT take kindly to disrespect—especially from some artsy dude who wore tights. But instead of throwing hands or coming back with some weak insult, Chad decided to get creative.

He went to the one person on campus who knew about dark magic: Valerie, the goth chick who was always lurking in the library with her weird-ass books. "I need a Voodoo doll," Chad said, slamming a pile of protein bars onto her table. Valerie smirked. She liked chaos. Within three days, she’d stitched together a tiny Ethan doll—down to the smug little smirk.

And so, Chad began his masterpiece. Night one, he placed the doll inside a tiny home gym he found at a flea market. Packed it tight with miniature weights, making sure Ethan-Doll was practically rubbing shoulders with the other little plastic bros. Then he propped up an old phone and looped gym bro motivational videos all night.

The next morning, Ethan woke up sore AF. Like, whole-body-cramping kind of sore. And his dreams? Pure nightmare fuel. Just endless lectures about bulking cycles, supplement stacks, and protein absorption rates. His ballet training? Canceled. Philosophy class? Couldn’t focus. A simple walk across campus felt like he had lead in his shoes. Worst Friday ever. Thank god for the weekend.

That night, Chad took things up a notch. He set up the mini gym under a tanning lamp. Then, using a tiny syringe, he pumped the Ethan-doll full of protein shake until its little belly bulged. For good measure, he juiced up its tiny arms with a cocktail of steroids that sounded like a science experiment gone wrong. Lastly, he queued up some trashy reality TV.

Ethan woke up to the unholy stench of his own farts. His stomach? Bloated as hell. But weirdly enough, he felt... strong. Really strong. Instead of hitting the library, he made a snap decision: gym time. It was early, so hopefully, the usual meatheads weren’t around yet. Meanwhile, still half-asleep, Chad gave the Ethan-doll another protein injection. Ethan stood in the bathroom, rubbing his stomach. Damn, why was he so gassy? Then he looked in the mirror—and froze.

His skin was straight-up lobster red. But not evenly. Under his arms? Still pale. Like he’d been half-cooked under a tanning bed. He threw on a black gym jersey, hoping nobody would notice. And he definitely needed to see a doctor. This was NOT normal.

At the gym, Ethan hopped on the stair stepper, and the dudes next to him were deep in a convo about some trashy dating show. Weirdly enough, he knew it. Had he actually watched that crap? And wait—had he just thought of them as “cool bros”?!

After his workout, he tried to practice ballet. But standing at the barre, he felt ridiculous. What kind of guy does ballet, anyway?

By the evening, Ethan wasn’t feeling like hitting up the theater or doing any of the usual artsy stuff with his friends. He didn’t even want to see them—they’d just roast him for his weird-ass tan. Instead, he hit up the movies and picked "Criminal Squad 2." Nonstop action, tons of explosions. Absolute banger. Afterward, he swung by a sports bar. Didn’t take long before he got chatting with some gym bros. Turns out, not all meatheads were dumbasses—some were actually kinda hilarious.

Sunday morning, Chad was shaving his junk and pits while the Ethan voodoo doll was getting its regular steroid injections. Chad had an idea. He hocked a fat loogie onto the doll, then rubbed his freshly shaven hair all over its chest and face.

Ethan woke up at 10:30 AM. Damn, last night with the guys had been lit, but it got late. He scratched his chest. Shit, maybe it was time for a shave. Dude looked like a straight-up caveman. Though, he did love his beard—no way was he ditching that. He was a college junior; no one would take him seriously without some facial hair. He flexed in the mirror. Damn, his armpits were getting wild. Then, his stomach rumbled. He held his breath and let one rip. Hell yeah, his farts were legendary. He spent the whole day at the gym, feeling like a beast. And the dudes there? Solid crowd. After the workout, they invited him to a frat party. Solid Sunday, bro.

Chad kept up the magic—more roid shots, dunking the doll in protein shakes, feeding it a diet of trash TV and cheap fitness influencers. He left it under the tanning lamp for days, stuck little dumbbells in its hands, and finished off with a nonstop loop of softcore porn.

Did he seriously have an art history class today? Why the hell did he sign up for that? The start of the week was hell. He needed a dermatologist ASAP. Not just for the deep bronze tan—honestly, that was kinda sick—but also for the gnarly acne creeping up his shoulders and back. Also, why did none of his clothes fit anymore? And why did half of them look so… unmasculine? He needed new gear ASAP. But first, this dumb class. Hopefully, he didn’t pass out.

Chad kicked off his week at the gym. Later, he ran home to grab his laptop—still hadn’t showered, though. The Ethan doll was lying on the bench press, watching gangsta rap videos. Chad grabbed it and rubbed it deep into his sweaty armpit.

Ethan couldn’t care less that he got kicked out of class. Apparently, people "couldn’t handle the stench." What bullshit. He hadn’t even ripped one—yet. He took a deep whiff of his armpit. Smelled just fine. Bro de Cologne. He cracked himself up.

Chad spent the morning blasting the Ethan doll with ads from MassiveSoldier. He knew exactly where Ethan would be later. Sitting outside the mall, he doodled some designs on the doll’s forearms and neck, waiting. He didn’t have to wait long. You could hear Ethan before you saw him—snorting like a bull, stomping like an earthquake. And the smell? Dude was marinated in Chad’s sweat. Ethan spotted Chad and grinned. "Bro, lucky you’re here. I need some help," he grunted. "You got it, bro!" Chad said, leading him into the sports store.

A month later, Ethan had landed some solid sponsorships—one with a sportswear company, another with a protein brand. He’d dropped out of college and was working full-time at a hardcore gym. His fitness channel was taking off, but damn, his food and "supplement" intake was next level. Good thing Chad had his back. Dude needed it. 'Cause let’s be real—Ethan wasn’t exactly the sharpest tool in the shed.

The brogramming was complete.

[smolkooks]

joshua hong's recipe for valentine's

summary: jisoo knows you like the back of his hand. he hopes. (he does). which almost makes asking you out for valentine’s day even more intimidating. 

pairing: joshua (svt) x you

genre: college au, fluff

*

“hey alexa,” joshua called out into the emptiness of his bedroom, “what the fuck am i supposed to do?”

the sound of jeonghan’s quip cut through the air before alexa could even process joshua’s complaint, “don’t think ai is equipped to help with your relationship problems.” jeonghan rounded the corner and popped his head through the door, an amused smirk quirking up the corner of his lips.

“there are no relationship problems!” joshua buried his hands in his hair, “there’s no relationship problems, that’s the problem,” his tone trailed off hopelessly as he banged his forehead onto the table hoping that the brief pain would knock some sense into his brain.

“haven’t you two known each other for like, most of college? i’m sure she won’t mind no matter what you do,” jeonghan offered, and joshua knew he was trying to be helpful but the advice only made him feel worse.

“you know that feeling,” joshua began, spinning around on his chair to face his friend, “when you know someone too well? when you feel like they’ve seen everything and nothing will surprise them? fuck, she’ll probably notice something in my expression the day before or like sniff me out when i slip up on a sentence or something.” usually, he loved how detail-oriented you were, but in moments like these, he wished you were a bit more oblivious.

“you’re giving her too much credit, man,” jeonghan said with a shrug, “don’t think she’s going to be that perceptive.” he appreciatively eyed the pastel bouquet and origami paper that joshua had strewn across his desk and then said, “there’s no way she’d see all of this coming.

“you don’t know her,” joshua groaned, already fearing the worst. he’d spent the better part of the week planning all your valentine’s day gifts—brainstorming and ripping his hair out and agitating over making every detail perfect. he was not about to let you sniff anything out or become at all suspicious beforehand.

he truly did know you too well, because his very first dilemma arose just an hour later, after jeonghan had left for his evening class and he was alone in his apartment, putting together your gift when his phone had pinged with a message.

from: y/nnie

josh wyd

to: y/nnie

lmao wtf so random

immediately he knew he’d fucked up. because texts at this time from you were a daily occurrence, and his response was too fucking unnatural. but unfortunately he’d been so preoccupied with folding origami puppies and tucking them into the bouquet he’d picked out earlier this morning and surprised by your text that he replied without thinking.

as he went to edit the message, your read receipt came through and he resisted the urge to cry as your typing bubble showed up.

from: y/nnie

don’t be weird...

from: y/nnie

if ur free i’m gonna come over i’m dropping something off

from: y/nnie

jeonghan said ur home

joshua’s eyes widened as he cast a glance over the ginormous mess on his desk. he’d been planning to meet you later tonight anyway, yes, but not immediately! he still had to put together the last of the origami animals and also finish off wrapping your actual gift...

but then again, if he said no, you would for sure instantly know something was up anyway, so there was absolutely no winning. not unless he became an origami monster immediately and finished your bouquet within the next five minutes.

panicked, he started to type a response:

to: y/nnie

give me like twenty min pls

ty

from: y/nnie

alr

cya

tossing his phone onto his bed, he locked into the origami flower youtube video that he was up to. he didn’t think he’d ever been so focused before, not even during his final exams, not even during his driving test, not even ever. there were high stakes at play here, and he was not about to let all his plans fall apart. in fact, he tried to convince himself, you coming over was a blessing. the thought of seeing you did put a smile on his face, as stressed as he was about the lopsided paper tulips that he was currently mass producing.

within ten minutes, he’d tucked the final ones of his origami projects between the pastel petals of the bouquet he’d picked out earlier in the morning and began to survey his next project: the actual gift.

gritting his teeth determinedly, he set to work.

*

joshua was being weird, you’d decided, as you switched off your phone with a frown. why did it feel like he was so nervous? you visited him and jeonghan’s dorm all the time, it wasn’t like an out of the blue event, right...?

the doubts continued to cloud your train of thought as you surveyed the gifts that you’d prepared. flowers, of course, for your best boy. bead sets, a new phone case, matching smiski hippers for the two of you, his favourite snacks...you’d gotten everything he’d mentioned wanting. (except for the apartment by the seaside. you weren’t financially successful enough yet for that. one day).

as far as relationships went, yours and joshua’s was relatively fresh despite having known each other ever since the first week of freshman year. you’d been together for two months give or take, just in time to settle down for a proper valentine’s day—your first with a boyfriend, and you were determined to make it the best.

you’d even purposefully visited him almost every evening so that your visit today wouldn’t seem as suspicious. you hoped he wasn’t suspicious. as you switched your phone back on and read over your chats again, you realised maybe you did come across a little nervous...drop something off? you were lucky he didn’t question it today. it was so vague, and at the same time, lowkey obvious considering the date...

you hoped he’d overlook it.

the trek to joshua and jeonghan’s apartment wasn’t far at all. in fact, he lived one building down the road, so carrying all your gift boxes wasn’t that much of a hassle. you’d made the walk so often that you knew it better than the back of your hand, so when you arrived at his door, you couldn’t help the familiar smile that curved on your lips.

“josh!” you called out alongside your knock.

you heard his faint response and then some banging around before the door finally opened.

“HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!”

your overlapping voices made your eyes widen in shock. when you finally registered the sight in front of you, you realised joshua was also holding an armful of gifts—a massive bouquet of origami and real flowers blended together so prettily, and another bag of pristinely wrapped presents.

he seemed equally as shocked—his hair a little unkempt but still cute, glasses sitting low on the bridge of his nose as he blinked at you through the doorway—at all of the stuff that you were holding out to him.

“y/n,” he managed, as you huffed a laugh of disbelief, “there’s—what—wait, i was going to surprise you.” he glanced down pointedly at all the things in his arms, and you laughed in earnest.

“you did, josh,” you said with an amused giggle, finally stepping into the apartment and letting joshua shut the door behind you, “i think we scared the shit out of each other.”

you set down the bouquet you’d brought on his dining table as he did the same to the bouquet he had prepared, before he was ushering you to sit down, a faint blush on his cheeks as he said, “i can’t believe this.”

“great minds think alike!” you exclaimed, as you noticed the little puppies he’d tucked into the flowers, “wait, josh, hold on—,” you did a double take as you looked closer at the bouquet, “did you put sonny angels in the flowers?”

he sat down beside you and rolled his eyes in an ‘obviously’ way, “they’re your favourite, aren’t they?”

“stop it,” you said in disbelief, your surprise continuing to multiply, “you’re so crazy josh. this is why i love you.”

“because of the sonny angels in the flowers?”

it was your turn to roll your eyes as you shoved him a little, “no, idiot. because we know each other too well.”

[ferritins]

SHOW ME (LITTLE BIT OF SPINE) | J. TODD

SUMMARY: You keep putting your back to Jason. He keeps wondering why. Eventually, things boil over.

NOTES: if you’re looking back at my ghost fic, reading this, and going “…hm. Marley I am putting some things together about you” no you are not! [lying]

title from Fall Out Boy’s Dance Dance because I am a cringe elder GenZ and former scene kid 🙂‍↕️🤘🏽

WARNINGS: canon-typical violence, resolved romantic tension, UST.

Despite the hissing, seething rage sitting green and molten under Jason’s skin, you are completely unafraid of him.

It’s not that awareness of his capacity for violence escapes you, exactly; rather, it is the fact he reins it in so tightly and meters it out so meticulously that sets you at ease.

The Jason who rends flesh from bone and tears viscerae from by bodies with nothing but a K-Bar and the impetus to obliterate is the one who haunts the abuser, the exploiter, the predator.

The Jason who haunts your kitchen is the same boy you grew up with, who is in turn both stroppy and sensitive, cuts your expensive sharp cheddar at stupid angles and takes a spoon of jam in his black tea.

He has only ever been physical in protection of you, and never, ever to you.

You have been scared for him, but never of him; put simply, Jason is the safest pair of hands you know, the keenest pair of eyes to have watching your back.

Which is why you’re completely bemuses by Jason being so entirely thrown by your willingness to put your back to him, to make yourself vulnerable.

It first comes up one evening in late January, when you’re making saag paneer to chase off the creeping chill; Jason is at your side (back-seat cooking, as is his habit).

After five minutes of his nitpicking, you roll your eyes, holding a sauce-coated spoon out.

“Less bitching, more taste-testing.” You sing-song, tone deliberately cloying.

Jason scowls, but takes the spoon.

“Definitely more cumin, maybe a little more garam masala and like… half a tablespoon more tomato purée.” He says a moment later, around his mouthful of sauce.

“Ooh, precision! Steady on, Marco Pierre-White.” You tease, turning to your spice rack.

When you turn back, there’s a look of poleaxed disbelief on Jason’s face.

You raise an eyebrow, questioning; Jason mutters something under his breath, shakes his head.

The oddity of the moment is quite forgotten five minutes later, when Jason starts being unbearable about the way you’re stirring the curry.

And then, it keeps happening.

You notice it a month later in the supermarket, when you spin on your heel mid-conversation to take advantage of the half-price Guylian chocolates; again, when you sprint to the kitchen as Jason, ah, redecorates your living room carpet whilst you hunt through your cupboard for your first aid kit.

Once you start noticing it, you can’t stop noticing it. Jason, hyper-observant as he is, picks up on your observations, though he can’t seem to place what exactly it is you’re observing.

A strange sort of tension starts to brew between the two of you.

The simmer starts slow, only really beginning to bubble in the subtext of your relationship as winter slips into spring.

By the time spring slips into summer, every interaction is underwritten with it; you feel like you’re sat atop a powder keg, waiting for it to blow.

The inevitable argument comes on a sweltering July evening.

You’re working late, the window to your tenth floor apartment open to try and combat the humidity rising from tarmac streets and concrete high-rises as you peck disinterestedly at your laptop’s keyboard.

You don’t even notice Jason until you catch a glint of red chrome in your laptop screen.

Your heart leaps into your throat for a moment; your momentary fear allayed when you turn your chair just enough to see Jason stood behind you, hair mussed from his helmet.

“Hi, Jay!” You chirp. “Pozole is still on the stove, if you’re hungry. Help yourself.”

With that, you spin your chair back around and return to the task at hand, trying to get your quarterly report finished.

Jason remains standing at your shoulder. You can the space between your shoulders itch under his stare. After ten minutes, the trapped-rabbit feeling of being watched gets too distracting.

You spin your office chair around to face Jason fully.

“Is…something wrong?” You venture.

“You’re not scared of me.” Jason states, voice low and intent.

“…I’m scared that you might be dripping hepatitis onto my carpet, because this sounds a lot like the kind of thing you say when you’re busy losing the better part of your circulating blood volume.” You squint. “Do I need to get the first aid kit?”

“No.” Jason says.

“Okay…”

Your wheedling tone earns you nothing. Slowly, you spin your seat back to face your computer.

From behind you, Japan makes a frustrated noise. Rolling your eyes, you shoot him a look over your shoulder.

“Not a mind reader, Jay.”

“You keep putting your back to me.” Jason snaps. “You shouldn’t. It’s stupid.”

You turn your seat again, regarding him with a look of pure disbelief.

“You’re an adult man with access to all my streaming subscriptions. You can find entertainment—“

“It’s like you don’t have any survival skills whatsoever!” Jason snaps. “I’ve literally killed people!”

Thoroughly confused and very much fed up with Jason’s irascible distemper, you huff.

“Yes, Jason, you’re very scary.” You say with a patient tone that tips right into condescension, spinning back round to your computer. “I have a quarterly report due on Tuesday, so if we could hold off on the homicidal affirmations for a bit, that would be great.”

Your seat whirls with enough velocity that you feel a touch dizzy; Jason is stood close enough to you that your knees brush, the unexpected proximity making you start backward momentarily and bang your rolling chair back into your desk.

“Why aren’t you afraid? Why are you so insistent on trusting me when you know what I’m capable of?”

“Because you’re not dangerous to me, moron!” You shout. “Because we grew up together! Because I’ve seen you cry, and made you laugh! Because we fight about how you cut my stupid cheese! Because I love you, damn it!”

The words seem to ricochet around your living room, bouncing off walls and amplifying in gravity.

Jason looks punched out, caught somewhere between agony and euphoria.

“What?” His voice is a whisper, a low, desperate thing.

The wounded devotion in his eyes is too much to take; you bury your face in your hands, the repetition of “I love you.” half lost in your palms.

Large, warm hands wrap around your wrists, pull your hands away from your face with a gentleness like you’re made of fine bone china.

You catch a brief glimpse of Jason’s eyes, the faintest rim of seafoam iris around the black saucer of pupil, and then he’s kissing you.

The press of his lips against yours is an epiphany; the revelation of something divine.

“Love you.” You sigh in the space between close-lipped kisses.

The repetition of your confession flicks a switch in Jason; he half-snarls, one hand coming up to cradle the back of your head, keeping you pressed against his lips.

The next kiss trips out of sweetness and directly into hunger; Jason licks at the seam of your mouth until your lips open on a gasp. The kiss deepens; your senses are overwhelmed by the press of his tongue velvet-hot against yours, the way he catches your bottom lip between his incisors.

His free hand skates up your shirt, smoothing over your ribcage; his fingers dimple the soft give of your side over your fifth rib, skirting the edge of impropriety.

You but collapse against him in response, fingers curling creases into his shirt.

Time passes like treacle through a sieve; by the time that you and Jason part, your lips are spit-slick and bruised puffy, and your computer screen has long since powered off.

“Be mine.” He pants against your neck. “I can’t do casual, not with you. Honey, I need you to say you’ll be mine.”

“I’ve been yours for years, Jay.” You reply, shuddering at the press of his lips to the thin skin over your carotid. “I’ve always been yours.”

“Gonna ruin you for anyone else, sweetheart.” He vows into your skin. “No getting rid of me now.”

[wisteriasymphony]

Chloe had knocked over Marinette's tray at lunch earlier that day. It wasn't anything new, just like the way Chloe had started making oinking noises to Sabrina when Marinette had bent down to clean it up. Or like the way Chloe had said that Marinette didn't really need the extra calories, so she was actually helping her after all.

Lucky Lucky Ladybug kept replaying the scene in her mind, over and over, thinking about just how stupid Chloe would've felt if Tikki had let Marinette transform and give Chloe a talking-to as Ladybug. She had woven the string of her yo-yo between her fingers into a cat's cradle, and every time her hands would stretch apart, the yo-yo would spin on its track. Then she'd bring her hands back together to catch the yo-yo mid spin, the metal body clacking against the bones in her hands. Spin, then clack. Spin, clack. Spin, clack.

Chat Noir had been talking for the past few minutes, but Ladybug never bothered to listen to him anymore. He had probably just made one of his awful puns again, based on the way he started stammering.

"Oh, uh, s-so the joke is that it's a play on the word—" "Have you ever thought that maybe, if you have to explain all of your jokes, you're not funny?" Chat Noir got quiet, his shoulders falling. Ladybug kept her eyes on her yo-yo. "I'm sorry, milady," Chat Noir apologized. "I just assumed you didn't understand the punchline." "Maybe you should come up with jokes other people understand then. That way people might actually laugh at them." Spin, clack. Spin, clack. Ladybug kept imagining Chloe's face, with her pale blue eyeshadow and her cakey makeup.

Chat Noir started to twist his fingers together, the claws on his thumbs digging into his gloved hands. It wasn't anything new—people having little patience with him, that is. His father had gotten him used to it by now. Chat Noir knew that the right thing to do in such situations was just to acquiesce, and that when you acquiesced people liked you more for it. "I noticed you and Rena were on television the other day. How did that go?" Ladybug hunched over herself, scoffing as she wound the string of her yo-yo tighter around her fingers. She had started bring Renared to press conferences and fan meetups because she could trust that Alya wouldn't act like an idiot or say stupid things. Alya was a good friend like that, willing to pick up Chat Noir's slack. Plus, doing things with Rena instead meant that Marinette and Alya could hang out for the rest of the day, and Marinette would actually enjoy herself. Doing anything of that with Chat Noir... would mean she'd be hanging out with Chat Noir. Bad pickup lines and worse jokes included.

"It was fine," Ladybug huffed, rolling her eyes. "Why do you even care?" "Oh- well, uhm. You just used to take me, and I was wondering if you had a reason that you... well... stopped."

One time during an interview, Chat Noir had derailed the entire conversation talking about the intricacies of whether or not their group of holders counted more as a religious or a political organization, entirely unaware that nobody could even begin to care about such a thing. Spin, clack. Spin, clack.

Ladybug thought about the way Chloe's face had scrunched up when she oinked at Marinette. Ladybug thought of Chat Noir's stupid awkward stammer. Ladybug thought about having to admit to her mother that her grades were getting worse.

Ladybug trapped the yo-yo in her hands for the last time, almost trying to crush it.

"It's because she's better at it than you, and I like you better when I don't have to hear you talk. Does that make you happy?!"

Chat Noir almost answered—No, actually, knowing that people didn't like hearing him talk didn't make him happy at all. But he'd learned by now that when Ladybug asked him questions like that, she wasn't actually asking and a response would only make her angrier.

"I'm sorry. I'll talk less, milady."

"I told you to stop calling me that."

"...I'm sorry."

Maybe Chloe could pick on Chat Noir for a change. He deserved it more than she did.

[accio-sriracha]

@bradleysass SNIPPET TIME

(Thank you for the tag darling <3)

This is a little long, but it's from my Jegulus fic called "A Hostage Situation"

"Let go of him!" James shouted, holding out his wand, "Step back! Now!"

The man jumped backwards, holding out his hands. They were filthy and covered in a layer of grime,

"Can I help you?" He asked, eyes narrowed.

"Yeah, you can start by walking your sorry arse out of those doors." James tipped his wand towards the exit.

"Auror scum." The man scowled, shoving away from the bar and elbowing through the crowd to the door.

James turned to the other, slipping his wand back into its holster, "Are you alr-"

He froze.

It was Regulus.

"Potter?" Regulus' voice sounded far away, his eyes unfocused as he stared at James, "What are you...?" He trailed off, looking confused.

James' looked down at his drink,

"Shit." He took it from Regulus' hands, "He put something in this, didn't he?"

Regulus frowned, eyebrows furrowed, "I haven't seen you since Hogwarts."

James set the drink down, holding out a hand as Regulus swayed on his feet, "Come on, let's get you outside."

Regulus giggled, "You look different." He whispered.

James tried to smile, it didn't come out right, "And you haven't changed a bit."

"Potter, where are you?" Frank's voice came from his earpiece. James cursed under his breath,

"I got a situation. Give me a minute to sort it out and I'll be right there."

Another click in his ear, Frank's voice was irritated now, "If it isn't life or death you need to drop it and get over here. The target's missing."

"Missing?" James repeated, "Are you sure?"

"He's not here. We're spreading out to search. We could use the help."

James helped Regulus to a bench just outside of the restaurant, "Okay, I'll be there as soon as possible."

He turned to Regulus, "Can you wait here for a bit? I'm calling your brother to come pick you up."

"No." Regulus groaned, his words slurring slightly, "Sirius doesn’t like me."

"Okay, well I can't take you with me, so you need to-" James cut himself off when Sirius picked up the call,

"Hey, brother. What's up?"

"Actually, that's exactly what I'm calling about. I need you to come get your brother."

"What happened?" Sirius' voice switched instantly to concerned. James sighed,

"I'm on a mission right now, I found Regulus at the Draught of Happiness. Someone spiked his drink." He explained.

"What's going on?" Remus' voice came from the other line. Sirius cursed,

"I'm on my way. Hang tight."

James looked up at Regulus, who seemed less and less conscious by the minute, "We'll try. Get here fast."

The call disconnected.

Regulus' eyes widened, "Potter-" He whispered. Before James had the chance to respond he felt something hard press into the back of his head.

"Set the wand on the ground and stand up."

James closed his eyes, this was not how he wanted this mission to go.

"Potter...?" Regulus started again. James let out a slow breath,

"It's okay. Just stay right there." He held up his wand so the other person could see it and set it on the pavement in front of him, "You have me, alright? Just let him go."

Fingers curled around James' wrist and he was yanked to his feet, spinning around to come face to face with the man from the bar.

James' stomach sank.

He knew that face.

He'd been studying it on the case files for the last twelve hours.

"I think we should have some fun first, don't you agree?"

[hyperfocusthusly]

118 daily drabble - word #74 ‘Performance’

@118dailydrabble

——-

They were waiting to pick Jee up after her class performance. Buck catches sight of her sprinting towards them.

“Uncle Buck! Uncle Tommy!” She runs to him and he lifts her up.

“Did you see me?”

Buck chuckles at her unbridled enthusiasm.

“Of course, you were amazing Jee!”

She twists in his grasp, reaches out to Tommy who takes her in his arms.

“You were the best sheep ever, I thought you’d be covered in wool.”

Jee giggles.

“It was just pretend Uncle Tommy.”

“Oh, of course.”

She pinches his cheek gently.

“You’re silly.”

“That I am.”

Something swells in Bucks chest, watching Tommy spin a giggling Jee around.

He can see a little more of their future.

[midnight-mourning]

Finding the Meaning

💘💘Midnight's DCA Valentine's Day 9💘💘

LATE BUT ITS HERE, something sweet and silly with Zen's au with their oc AC and Moon!

Prompt: :o !! Um, gosh. Okay so idk how familiar you are with my Moon and his staffbot buddy AC, but I'd love to see one of them learning about Valentines day and doing something for the other. (In aa friend/platonic way) But like they love each other and never had a word for the feeling before. They dont realize that valentines day is for a difderent kind of love. Theyre both naiive robots learning how to feel. If you dont wanna do that, then just do Moon x Reader with the same idea. (Sorry for having such a specific request its just what came to mind x_x)

Word Count: 1372

Read here if you prefer ao3!

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The outside world is calm, quiet, as AC dares to peek out of the closet. It's dark, meaning it's safe, but one could never be too careful. As he takes a step, he jumps as his foot lands on something crunchy. A quick glance down reveals it to be a heart shaped piece of paper. He tilts his head to the side, confused, but curious. 

With a slight wobble to his balance—this whole having legs thing was still a bit confusing—he bends down and picks it up, looking it over closely. It's pink, with white lacy trim around the edges. Across the front is loopy script with a printed phrase that reads 'Will you be my Valentine?'. 

If AC could furrow his brows, he would. Unfortunately, they're merely painted on with that golden yellow. The same as—No. Best to not go down that train of thought. He's safe. It's dark, there's no light to be found. He's okay. 

Speaking of, where was his friend? 

The bot scans the room, finding no sign of his signature. At first at least. It takes a moment, but finally he picks up his signal over by the daycare wall. Looking up himself, he finds that his damaged sensors are indeed correct. 

Moon sits atop the wall, crouched, facing out towards the Plex proper. He seems to be watching something. AC can't tell what from here. So, with slow steps, he walks over to find out. 

The naptime attendant doesn't react to his approach, gaze set on whatever is occurring outside. It takes AC lightly tapping on the wall below the lunar bot to grab his attention. But it works well. Moon jump slightly, then glances down to where the curious former staff bot looks up to him, head tilted as if to say 'What are you looking at?'.

"Ah, hello friend. I'm sorry I didn't let you know it was time to come out." Moon extends a hand down. "Here, why don't you join me?"

AC hesitates, stepping back slightly. He didn't want found out. Didn't want to take any risks of being found out. He had to stay safe, he had to stay safe, he had to stay safe—

A touch to his shoulder. 

Moon's now leaning over to meet AC eye to eye, legs hooked over the wall to keep balanced.

"You can sit backwards, if you want." Moon's faceplate spins once. "That way no one can see your legs."

A pause. Then, AC nods. With both hands, Moon pulls the other bot up onto the wall with him. Making sure to sit him backwards so his legs are hanging on the inside of the wall. From there, AC can twist his torso to watch what's so fascinating outside. 

Further out into the main body of the Plex, there are several employees hard at work. At first, this alarms the bot, but he then remembers not only what Moon told him, but also that he's well hidden over here in the shadows. It's okay. He's okay. 

Taking a closer, more relaxed look, he sees that they're putting up decorations. They're a bit hard to make out, mainly just the colors are visible. Reds and pinks, on banners, streamers, shapes that hang on their own, and all over the numerous flyers being posted. 

Seeing all the decorations stirs something in AC, beyond just curiosity. Before being, damaged, he very much enjoyed the holidays. They brought with them a different energy to the Plex. Happier, more chaotic, but also calmer. 

It was a pity he couldn't get to witness them anymore. 

"What's that you've got?"

AC startles, looking over to see Moon is pointing to the heart in his hands. He lifts it up, head tilting to the side and eyes closing. His best attempt to show he was 'smiling'. 

"Looks similar to the decorations they're putting up." Moon nods in thought. "I wonder how it got in here..."

AC shrugs, then points to the script on the heart. 

"What's a Valentine, do you think?" His friend asks in the quiet. 

Another shrug. Then, he makes a typing motion with his hands. 

"Look it up? I suppose I could try. One moment."

AC waits patiently as the other bot searches online for an explanation, swinging his legs idly and patting his hands against his upper thighs. He tends to move a lot when not trapped in the closet.

 The lack of movability almost makes him fidgety when he's out and about. Something that's so, human of an action really. He doesn't think too long on that. 

Moon suddenly unfreezes, shaking his head once. "Ah. Intriguing."

AC tilts his head again in question. 

"It seems to be a holiday for expressing one's love for another. Which can be done with gifts, cards, or just general declarations." Moon says, stare not entirely focused, he must still be searching. "The day of celebrations is the 14th of February. Next week."

AC nods, also thinking. 

Love.

Now that was an interesting one. 

A human emotion he still didn't quite understand. 

AC knew the bad emotions well. Sadness, anger, fear. Something that should be out of his capabilities as a machine, and yet, he knew them well. Almost like old friends at this point. 

But, he also had a new friend now, and that friend had shown him new emotions, new feelings. Compassion, security, comfort, kindness. All things that he had maybe been able to recognize before, but not truly understand. 

AC had an idea. 

He turns to Moon just in time for his friend to speak up. "What if we were each other's Valentine? Oh, was that what you were about to suggest?"

AC nods quickly, giving a thumbs up, to which Moon laughs lightly. 

"Alright then, next week we'll celebrate."

AC claps his hands, and in his excitement, almost tumbles backwards over the wall, thankfully caught in time by Moon before that happens.

As the next week passes by, both bots think and work tirelessly on what to do for the other. From what they both can find individually, it's supposed to be grand, romantic gestures. Which, internally, they both panic about.

Little did the other know the struggle that was occurring with them. Each knew they felt something for their friend, but as to what, it was much more complex than that. 

Security, friendship, comfort, happiness. The laughter they shared, the melancholy. All of it, good or bad, it made each bot feel warm inside at the thought they had each other to spend it with. But as for what that was if it wasn't 'proper' love, they didn't know. 

But, week's are short in the grand scheme of things, and so before either knew it, it was time to share their surprises. 

They met as they always did, in the middle of the darkened Daycare, nervous, toying with the items they each held behind their backs. 

"Well, are you ready?" Moon asks. 

AC nods. There's a fluttering feeling in his circuits he can't quite describe. 

"You first then."

AC pauses, then rapidly shakes his head, pointing to the other bot. 

They bicker back and forth about it, fueled by worry, when finally, it's agreed upon to display their gifts at the same time. 

"Alright, on the count of three. One, two, three."

They both bring their gifts out to present them. 

AC has gotten Moon a new stuffed animal, a panda bear. It's old, and a bit tattered, but it's still cute. He thinks at least. 

Moon has gotten his friend a coloring book, to use during his time stuck in the closet all day, complete with some—slightly used—glow in the dark crayons. 

"This is, wonderful, AC. Thank you." Moon gently takes the bear, as AC almost vibrates with excitement upon getting the coloring book. In turn, he hugs Moon, and after a brief moment to recover, the naptime attendant hugs him back. 

Simultaneously, both robots feel, something, in their circuitry upon seeing their gifts. 

The thought that someone else cares so much for them, to get something so thoughtful, it sends a certain feeling through them. Maybe it's not romantic, maybe it's not perfect, but in that split second, both realize exactly what it is. 

Love.

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Thank you for the cute request @zenkaiankoku!! It was fun learning about these two, hope I did them some justice with this hehe

My writing Masterpost

DCA Valentine's Masterpost

Tag list (if you would like added, simply say so!):

@scarletcowboy @beemyhuneybee @fishm0ther @deviouscrackers @elsajoyagent8 @luckyyyduckyyy @zenkaiankoku @jogimote @local-shrub @milosmantis @robinette-green @everlightreader @sinister-sincerely @starredeclipse @dangerva @juukai @crystalmagpie447 @mothgutz236 @lizyxml @divinit3a @amarynthian-chronicles @crystalfay @that-one-unknown-artist @rosescarletful @buzzybee3

[honeybummer]

NO SAINTS HERE - on A03 Pairing: Spawn Astarion x Fem!OC/Tav

Summary/Setting: Tav cheats on Wyll with Astarion when Wyll cannot satisfy her needs

Word count - 6k

Rating: EXPLICIT

The camp was silent, the night air crisp.

Tav stormed out of her tent, her footsteps heavy against the cool earth. She wrapped her arms around herself, pacing before glaring up at the stars, as if they were somehow to blame. 

Frustration boiled in her chest. Six weeks on the road with the group. Four of them with Wyll. Four weeks, and he—

“You’ll have a trench dug by sunrise at this rate,” came a familiar, silken voice.

Tav jumped, spinning to see Astarion lounging by the fire, a book in his lap, eyes glinting in the flickering light. His silver hair curled effortlessly behind his ears.

“I didn’t think anyone else was awake,” she said, trying to steady her breath.

“And yet, here I am. Vampires aren’t much for sleep, darling.” He studied her. “Now, what’s got our fearless leader storming about like a bull?”

She shook her head and resumed pacing. “It’s nothing. Go back to your scheming.”

“Darling, my scheming can wait. You look about ready to burst into flames.” He snapped his book shut, leaning in with a smirk. “Go on, then. Misery does adore an audience.”

Tav huffed and started toward the forest, hoping the cool air might clear her head. Maybe a walk, or a dip in the lake—

“Let me guess,” Astarion drawled from behind her, lazily amused. “Our ever-gallant warlock has done something to ruffle your feathers. Am I close?”

“Just forget it,” she muttered, picking up her pace.

Then he was in front of her, hands clasped neatly behind his back, eyes glinting. “You’re practically humming with frustration. Unmet needs, perhaps?”

Her cheeks burned. “I’m not—this isn’t—” 

How could he know?

Astarion circled her. “You’re practically radiating unfulfilled desires.”

Tav turned away, embarrassed. “Astarion, please.” She didn’t want to discuss this with him—or anyone.

“Please?” He smirked, leaning in closer. “Please stop? Or please keep going?”

Tav nearly clamped her hands over his mouth. “Keep your voice down!”

Then, just as smoothly, his grin softened, voice dipping into something almost kind. “Oh, don’t pout. I’m only teasing. If you need a willing ear, I’m right here.”

Tav sighed, the fight seeping out of her. She retreated and sank onto a log near the fire, accepting the bottle of wine he offered. The first swig was long, the burn grounding her.

“It’s nothing,” she muttered, wiping her mouth. “Just me being selfish.”

Astarion settled beside her with a lazy elegance. “You? Selfish? Hardly. Though, I suppose spending too much time with him might have that effect.”

She shot him a glare, unamused. Astarion didn’t like Wyll, but he didn’t like anyone , really—maybe her, on rare occasions.

“He just…ugh, I can’t talk to you about this.”

Astarion lifted the wine to her lips again, and she took another sip. And another.

“How often does he leave you wanting?” he asked, voice soft, almost conspiratorial.

“How did you know?”

His smile was sharp, predatory. “You keep fidgeting. If he’d made you come once or twice like a normal partner, you wouldn’t be this tense.”

He took the wine back and Tav groaned, burying her face in her hands. “I can’t believe I’m having this conversation.”

Astarion arched a brow. “Does he leave you wanting often?”

Tav swallowed, the guilt curling in her stomach. 

She exhaled sharply. “He…he fell asleep.”

Astarion’s laughter was rich and delighted.

Tav snatched the wine back, taking a long swig. “You better not tell anyone.”

“Oh, please.” He waved a dismissive hand, still grinning. “This is too delicious to share. But really—our gallant Wyll, falling asleep midway? Tragic.”

She rolled her eyes. “He’s wonderful in so many ways, but when it comes to intimacy…he just doesn’t get it.”

The warmth of Wyll’s kindness was something she couldn’t ignore. When he’d asked her to dance after a night of drinking, she’d accepted. And when he’d asked for a kiss, she’d given it. But when things went too far, she hesitated. Yet, when he looked so sad at the rejection, she relented. 

The next night, he’d asked her on a proper date, and she hadn’t the heart to refuse. Not when the nights were so lonely.

The first time he touched her, it had felt nice—at first. It had been so long since she had felt anyone’s hands on her that even the smallest touch had sent sparks through her veins. But then his rhythm faltered, his thrusts erratic. Her body had cooled, and she had lost the tempo.

And then he had finished—and fallen asleep.

He hadn’t even asked if she had come.

The next time he tried, he had pressed his fingers against her, clumsy and hopeful. It hadn’t worked. It never worked.

And she never faked it, either.

But what boiled her blood was the fact that Wyll knew . He knew she hadn’t finished, and still, he had simply gone to sleep . Like it didn’t matter.

She would never do that to him. Never take her own pleasure and leave him wanting.

Astarion’s voice cut through her thoughts. “How unfortunate.”

Tav snorted and drank more wine.

“Perhaps…I could be of some assistance?”

Tav looked at him, stunned. “What?”

Astarion leaned in, eyes glinting with intent.She was reminded how earth-shatteringly gorgeous he was. “You need release. I need something to occupy my time. And I do have an impressive repertoire…”

Her breath caught.

Astarion grinned—lazy, confident. “Unless you’d rather trudge back to your tent and spend another night wanting?”

Tav looked away. “You can’t be serious.”

“Oh, but I am.” He took a long look at her, up and down. “Such a shame to let you go to waste.”

She shook her head. “I…I’m with Wyll.”

Astarion only watched her.

“I could never do that to him. He’s too…good.”

He shrugged, utterly unconcerned. “Yes, yes, the noble Blade of Frontiers—so devoted, so honorable. But tell me, darling, how devoted can he be if he leaves you wanting?”

Tav inhaled sharply, gripping the wine bottle too tightly. “That’s not fair.”

“Oh, but it is.” He shifted closer, his thigh brushing hers, voice dipping, silk and sin. “Why should you suffer for his shortcomings?” His lips curled, firelight casting sharp shadows over his face, making him look almost… dangerous. “You deserve better.”

She clenched her jaw, willing herself not to react. But Astarion saw it all—the flicker of hesitation, the breath she swallowed down.

“Tell me, darling,” he murmured, tilting his head. “Have you ever been worshiped?”

Her breath hitched. She turned away, but his voice curled around her like smoke, thick and intoxicating.

“I mean properly worshiped.” His lips brushed the shell of her ear. “The kind that leaves you trembling, moaning my name.”

Tav squeezed her thighs together.

Astarion hummed, catching the movement, his grin sharpening. “No? Tsk—what a tragedy.” His fingers ghosted over her arm, sending a shiver down her spine. “I could teach you, you know. Show you what it’s like to be devoured.”

She swallowed hard. “Oh, please.” Her voice was shaky. “You don’t even like me.”

Astarion laughed, soft and indulgent. “Oh, my sweet girl,” he murmured, shaking his head. “You really think that matters?”

He leaned in, just enough for his lips to ghost over her jaw, not quite touching, but so close. “Liking you isn’t the point,” he whispered. “ Wanting you is.”

His fingers brushed her collarbone, barely there, his touch sending a shiver through her. “And gods , do I want you.”

He pulled back just enough to meet her gaze. “So tell me, darling,” he drawled, smirking as he tipped her chin up with a finger. “Would you really rather go back to your tent, aching and unsatisfied, all because of some foolish notion that I need to like you first?”

Tav knew parts of his backstory, how he was trained in the art of desire. How he could get anyone into his bed. She shouldn’t fall for it.

“Imagine it, love. My hands on your body, my lips on your skin—making you feel everything you’ve been denied.” His eyes darkened. “Wouldn’t that be… delicious?”

But.

Heat pooled low in her stomach.

“I—” She exhaled shakily, grasping for something solid, something real. “I shouldn’t—”

“Oh, darling.” His fingers curled under her chin, tilting her face to his. “Why shouldn’t you?”

She met his gaze and drowned in it. Red eyes, deep and endless, full of promises she shouldn’t want.

“Tell me,” he whispered, lips just shy of hers. “Do you want me to stop?”

Tav’s heart thundered.

She should say yes.

She should.

The fire crackled, but it wasn’t what made her burn. It was him—his scent, his nearness, the coolness of his skin against her heat.

“I could make it easy for you,” he murmured. His lips nearly brushed hers, teasing, coaxing. “I wouldn’t make you do a damn thing, darling.”

Tav’s fingers twitched. Her breath shook.

“All you would have to do…” he breathed. “Is spread those pretty, little legs for me…”

She shuddered violently..

“Just like back…and let me…”

Tav bit her lip.

“ Have you.”

And then—

She cracked.

With a frustrated noise, she grabbed his collar and crushed her lips to his.

Astarion groaned low in his throat, as if he had been starving for this. His hands were on her in an instant—one threading into her hair, the other gripping her waist and yanking her against him.

Gods. He devoured her.

His lips were soft, insistent, his mouth moving against hers with a desperate sort of hunger. His fangs scraped her lower lip, sending a bolt of heat down her spine, and she whimpered—actually whimpered.

Astarion growled.

In a swift motion, he had her beneath him, the firelight flickering across his pale skin as he loomed over her. “Now, that’s more like it,” he murmured, his breath ragged, lips already red and swollen from kissing her.

Tav barely had time to process before his mouth was on hers again, deeper this time, his tongue sliding against hers, his hands everywhere —her waist, her back, her thighs.

And gods help her, she was burning.

His cool fingers trailed under the hem of her shirt, barely touching her skin, and yet it sent a full-body shiver through her.

“Cold, darling?” he murmured against her lips, but his grin was wicked, knowing. “Or is it something else?”

She shivered again, and his fingers dug into her waist, his hips pressing against hers just enough to make her feel—

A gasp tore from her throat, and he chuckled, the sound dark and delighted. “Oh, my sweet thing,” he purred, his lips ghosting down her jaw. “I can’t wait to feel your heat.”

Tav squeezed her eyes shut, trying—failing—to remember why this was a bad idea.

But with Astarion’s mouth trailing hot, open-mouthed kisses down her neck, his hands exploring her like she was something to be devoured—

She found she didn’t care at all.

Except. 

There was a rustling nearby. 

Tav scrambled out from under Astarion and got up. She stood there, panting, while her worst fears came true. 

The flap of Wyll’s tent rustled and he came into view. He looked around and then spotted them on the far side of camp, by the fire.

“Tav?” he asked, rubbing his eyes and walking closer.

She wiped at her swollen lips, trying to look composed. Astarion, on the other hand, remained utterly unruffled, lounging back on his elbows with an infuriating smirk.

“Tav?” Wyll repeated, stepping forward, brow furrowed. “What are you doing up? I heard something.”

She swallowed hard, panic twisting in her gut. But then—relief. His expression wasn’t one of suspicion, just sleepy confusion. He didn’t see. He didn’t hear.

Before she could string together a response, Astarion beat her to it.

“I woke her.” His voice was smooth, nonchalant, as if nothing had just happened. He shifted up, stretching lazily before giving Wyll an almost bored look. “I needed to feed.”

Wyll’s brow furrowed deeper, his gaze flickering between them.

“She offered, of course,” Astarion continued smoothly, waving a dismissive hand. “And I’d hate to refuse such a generous donation.” He grinned, showing just the hint of fangs. “We were just about to get started.”

Tav nearly choked.

Wyll’s lips pressed into a thin line. “She needs her sleep. It’s late and I—”

“Oh, no need for that,” Astarion cut in, voice silken with amusement. “Tav was very eager to help.” He leaned closer, resting a hand on her shoulder. Casual, but his fingers pressed just enough for her to feel him. “And you know how these things go. Could take a while.”

Tav clenched her jaw, trying not to react.

Wyll sighed, rubbing his forehead. “Just… be careful, alright?” He looked at Tav, something soft in his expression. “Don’t let him take too much.”

Astarion placed a hand over his chest, mock-offended. “What do you take me for? A savage?”

Wyll didn’t dignify that with a response. Instead, he exhaled heavily, rubbing the back of his neck. “Alright. I’ll see you in a bit, then. I’ll probably be asleep, so just wake me when you get back.”

Tav forced a nod as Wyll turned and disappeared back into his tent.

The moment he was gone, she whipped toward Astarion.

“What the hell was that?” she hissed.

Astarion grinned, utterly unrepentant. “That, my dear, was me getting us out of trouble.”

Her pulse pounded. “By implying we were busy?”

He gave an elegant shrug. “Well, weren’t we?”

Tav opened her mouth to argue—only to close it again when she realized she didn’t have a damn thing to say to that.

Astarion leaned in, voice dropping to something dark and wicked. “Now then. We should put on a little show, don’t you think?” His fingers ghosted over the pulse in her neck.

“This is what you offered, after all.”

“Fine,” she muttered, rolling her neck for him. 

But he didn’t lean in. 

“I say I bought us some time. Come on.” He grabbed her arm and led her deeper into the forest, away from camp. 

“Where are we going?”

Astarion said nothing as he pulled her through the trees. The deeper they went, the thicker the shadows grew, moonlight slicing in jagged slivers through the canopy.

They passed the nearby waterfall, the sound making her uncomfortable. She couldn’t hear if someone or something approached.

Tav’s heart pounded—not from fear, not from the dark, but from him.

“Astarion,” she tried again, breathless. “Where—”

But before she could finish, he spun her, pressing her back against the rough bark of an ancient oak. He leaned in, his hands braced on either side of her head.

“I thought you wanted to be fed on?” he teased, his voice a silken purr..

“I…” she started, but Astarion was already moving, brushing his nose along the curve of her jaw, lips hovering over her pulse.

He dragged his lips down the column of her throat, slow, indulgent.

“I could take my time with you,” he mused, voice barely above a whisper. “Taste you properly. Make you feel it.”

Tav’s breath hitched, her hands curling into fists against the bark.

He chuckled. “Oh, my sweet girl.” His tongue flicked out, just the faintest brush against her pulse, and her knees buckled.

Astarion caught her, hands sliding down to grip her waist.

“Careful now,” he murmured. “Wouldn’t want you collapsing before we even start.”

And then—he kissed her.

Not teasing. Not playful.

Hungry.

Tav gasped against his lips as he pulled her flush against him, the sharp edges of his body a contrast to the softness of his mouth. His hands tightened on her waist, pulling her closer, deepening the kiss.

Heat flooded her, spiraling down her spine, pooling in her stomach. She shouldn’t be doing this—she really shouldn’t—but gods, she wanted him.

Astarion nipped at her lower lip, then soothed it with his tongue. “Tell me to stop,” he whispered. “And I will.”

Tav dug her fingers into his shoulders, her breath coming fast.

She didn’t say a word.

His mouth trailed down her neck and brushed against her collarbones. His quick fingers began loosening the ties to her pants and she let him. 

Astarion hummed in approval as her body melted against him, his fingers making quick work of the ties at her waist. “That’s it, darling,” he murmured against her skin. “Let me take care of you.”

His hands slid beneath the waistband of her pants, the coolness of his touch making her gasp, her skin prickling with heat as he grazed the edge of her undergarments.

“Now, tell me: Am I allowed to touch you?”

Tav could hardly speak, but she managed a breathy, “Yes.”

Her head tipped back against the rough bark as his hands slipped beneath the fabric, skimming over bare skin. She sucked in a breath.

He chuckled, low and wicked. “So responsive. I do love that about you.”

His fingers dipped lower, and Tav gasped, her hips jerking into his touch. He grinned against her throat, his free hand sliding up her ribs.

“You poor thing,” he murmured, lips tracing the shell of her ear. “He never even tried to take care of you, did he?”

His thumb swept over that bundle of sensitive nerves and she squeezed her eyes shut, breathing quick. 

Astarion’s other hand slid under her shirt and palmed her breast. 

Tav squeezed her eyes shut tighter, heat flooding her face. She shouldn’t be doing this. She should stop. But then Astarion’s fingers pressed just right, and all thoughts of Wyll, of guilt, of anything beyond him dissolved.

Wetness flooded past his fingers as he continued to rub against her.

He kissed her again, swallowing the whimper that slipped past her lips. His body pressed fully against hers, trapping her between him and the tree, and gods, she could feel him.

“You’re exquisite like this,” he whispered against her lips, his fingers still working her open, still teasing, still keeping her just on the edge. “Soft, pliant, desperate .” He smirked, nipping at her jaw. “Would you like me to finish what I started, darling?”

Tav nodded. 

Astarion’s lips were at her ear, nipping as his expert fingers circled her again and again and again. 

Just right. 

Tight, little circles. 

She gasped in a breath to say ‘faster’, but he already knew. 

And then she was clutching his arms, legs weak as she tried to keep herself up. The warmth curled and curled, the pleasure so close to breaking and—

Astarion pulled away. 

Tav gasped out a horrendous whine and looked up at him. He smiled.

“Oh darling, I almost got you there, didn’t I? And, oh, how easy it was. I had you falling apart with your clothes still on.”

Tav huffed, suddenly angry. He was making fun of her. He probably never wanted to sleep with her at all. Just to laugh at her. 

But then Astarion was lifting her shirt over her head and grabbing her waist. 

And then she was on her back, the cool forest floor shocking her as Astarion loomed above. His lips found her neck first, before drifting lower—across her collarbone, down the slope of her sternum.

When his tongue flicked against her navel, she jolted, hips bucking instinctively against him. He only laughed, a dark, pleased hum.

"So eager," he mused. His fingers hooked into the waistband of her pants, pulling just enough to tease.

“Will you be quiet for me darling?” he asked. 

She shook her head, there was no way she could keep quiet. 

Astarion groaned, low and pleased, and then—her pants were gone.

His hands were everywhere, mapping every inch of newly exposed skin. His mouth followed, trailing heat in its wake, and when his lips finally—finally—settled between her thighs, she lost any hope of staying quiet.

The first lick was like the rapture.

Tav's back arched off the forest floor, her hands gripping into Astarion's shoulders as a moan ripped from her throat. 

She writhed beneath him, her hands clenching the grass under them. His tongue licked up her center and then lazily stroked around her clit. 

Tav's hips bucked, desperate for more. "Astarion, please," she begged, her voice shaking with need. "Don't stop."

His finger sought her entrance, sliding easily inside her. Her hands dug into his hair when he curled that finger inside her just right. And when he added another, she was moaning loudly, shaking. 

He pumped his fingers, curling them expertly. The pleasure erupted.

And then she wasn’t breathing—only writhing, shaking, and spasming against him until the waves of pleasure finally subsided. 

Then she gasped for air, body falling back against the forest floor—limp.

And…it was easy to get there. So easy. 

Astarion was seductive, attentive, and it made it all so easy.

It made her think… 

“I never thought your cunt would taste as good as your blood,” he said, smiling. “But it does.”

Tav opened her eyes to see Astarion licking his lips, the shine of her arousal on his chin. 

She could see the straining of his pants, the evidence of how aroused he was. She sat up quickly, feeling her head spin, and reached for him. 

“Lie back,” she said.

Tav wanted him to feel as good as she did. She had to repay him. 

Astarion hesitated for a moment, his eyes boring into hers with an unreadable expression. Then, he lay back, resting on his elbows, his eyes never leaving her face as she straddled him. 

She loosened his stays, releasing him from his confines. 

Astarion’s cock was imposing, long and thick, pale and smooth. Her hand wrapped around its girth, a shiver running through her body as she gripped it.

He was far larger than Wyll. 

The second she touched him, Astarion's eyes widened with hunger, his breathing quickening as she stroked him. He reached up, brushing his fingers through her hair. 

"I thought I was meant to take care of you,” he said. 

“You did.”

His cock was like velvet in her hands, the hardest velvet she had ever felt. She stroked him a couple of times, and he shuddered. She was captivated by the way his pale skin moved over his glistening head. The head of his cock was so swollen with blood it looked purple. 

She ran her thumb over his head, licking her lips, wishing she could taste him. Gods, he would fill her mouth completely. She could hardly imagine how he would fit inside her. 

“Tav,” Astarion gritted out. 

She pumped him again in her hand, squeezing harder. 

Astarion’s hands found her waist. “If you do not mount me, I will fuck you myself.”

She grinned, feeling like she was in power. She stroked him several more times before Astarion shifted, bucking his hips and lifting her until she hovered over him. 

Scrambling, Tav placed her hands on his shoulders and shifted her weight on her knees so she was more in control, but Astarion yanked her down. 

Her legs trembled as his tip brushed against her glistening folds. “Wait—”

Astarion leaned in and nipped at her neck. “I am a man of my word, Tav. Now sit.”

Tav swallowed and lowered herself gently. There was pressure as his head pushed against her. His thick cock bowed slightly at the pressure, and then it slid inside. Just an inch.

Immediately she felt that burning stretch. 

She had felt it once. One night, when she wasn’t very aroused, Wyll had pushed himself inside her while she was still dry.

But she wasn’t dry this time. She was dripping wet, and Astarion still stretched her. 

The vampire’s eyes locked onto hers, his expression unguarded as he watched her struggle—watching her intently as she slowly, slowly descended onto him.

Tav's body trembled, every nerve ending on fire as she tried to ease herself down. Astarion's girth stretched her, filling her in a way she had never experienced before. 

She bit her lip against a scream, and for a moment, she froze.

Astarion's hand left her hip to thread through her hair, stroking the strands gently as he whispered soothing words in her ear.

"That's it, darling..." he murmured, "Just relax and let me in... I won't hurt you."

Tav's breath hitched, her body slowly relaxing at the sound of his voice. She took a deep breath and lowered herself further, trying to focus on his words as more of him filled her until she was seated fully upon him. She was unbearably full. 

Her eyes watered from the intensity of it all.

"You see, darling?" Astarion sighed against her neck. "I told you it wouldn't hurt."

She let out a noise.

“Yet,” he hissed, bucking up into her once. 

She let out a guttural moan and gripped his shoulders tightly. She leaned forward, making it easier for her to control the movements and she began to ride him. Up…and…down. 

Slowly.

It was all she could take.

Astarion's hands gripped her waist tightly as he matched her pace, his hips rising to meet each of her thrusts. 

Her forehead met his as they continued, skin glistening, bodies tightening. 

“Fuck,” she muttered, breathing heavily as she clutched him tightly. He felt incredible, so fucking incredible. She had never felt like this. 

Astarion sat up more, using one arm to wrap around her waist so he could better control the movements, and she knew he knew what he was doing. 

He was a master at it. 

So, when he angled himself differently against her, hitting a sensitive spot, Tav whined so loud she was sure the camp might hear. 

Tav’s head tipped back, her breath coming in short, ragged gasps as she rode Astarion. His hands were firm, guiding her, coaxing her deeper into pleasure with every movement. His mouth was everywhere—her neck, her collarbone, the tops of her breasts, teeth scraping just enough to make her shudder.

And then—

“Tav?”

The voice cut through the night.

Astarion went still beneath her.

Wyll.

A sickening wave of realization crashed over her. What was she doing ?

Wyll was kind. Wyll was good . And he didn’t deserve this.

She scrambled off Astarion, nearly toppling over in her rush. He let out a soft, amused tsk but didn’t try to stop her. Her pulse was a frantic drum against her ribs.

The crunch of boots on leaves sent a fresh jolt of panic through her. Wyll was walking nearby.

Tav ducked low, crouching behind a thick patch of brush just as his silhouette came into view. He was holding up a lantern, its warm glow slicing through the trees, illuminating the furrow in his brow.

He was several feet away.

“Where did you go…?” he muttered to himself, turning his head from side to side. His expression was wary but not suspicious. Not yet.

Tav willed herself to stay silent. Through the gaps in the foliage, she watched as Wyll turned the other way, his lantern swinging slightly. He scanned the forest. 

A hand clutched her ankle and yanked her back, her breasts flattening on the cold dirt. Before she could yelp in surprise, a cold hand clamped over her mouth, quieting her.

“Hush, darling. We wouldn’t want your sweet, ignorant beau to see you being ridden by a dangerous vampire,” he whispered.

What was he…?

His body climbed over hers, his knee spreading her thighs. Her heart pounded as she saw Wyll slightly turn his head in their direction. 

Astarion’s hand was still clamped over her mouth, his body a solid weight against her back. His lips brushed against her ear, his voice a whisper of silk and sin.

“He’s so close,” Astarion murmured, his hips shifting against her in a slow, deliberate grind. “Do you think he’d hear you if I made you moan?”

Tav squeezed her eyes shut, her breath escaping in a ragged exhale against his palm. He was insane . Reckless.

The lantern light wavered, flickering through the brush.

Tav felt undeniable pressure against her backside, and then Astarion exhaled in her ear as he slipped inside of her again. His hand muffled her gasp as he pushed himself deeper. 

His other hand was braced on the dirt, the veins in his hand raised as his hips pressed against hers. 

Astarion was larger than Tav, and heavier. She tried to raise her torso, to better see, but Astarion’s weight held her down. 

“Shhhhh,” he whispered in her ear, his voice so sweet and silky. 

Tav swallowed hard, her pulse hammering against her ribs. She could feel Astarion’s amusement in the way he held her, in the way his fingers dug into the earth beside her. He was enjoying this—the thrill of being on the precipice, the sharp edge of danger just a breath away.

Wyll’s lantern swung closer. Tav could see the gleam of his boots through the underbrush. He was only steps away.

They were lucky the waterfall hid some of the noise, but there was no way Wyll wouldn’t hear the sound of skin slapping against skin. 

Astarion’s lips moved again, his breath hot against her skin. “Do you think he’d be angry, pet?” he mused. “If he found you like this? Would he be heartbroken?” He punctuated his words with a strong thrust of his hips. “Or simply humiliated?”

Another deep thrust.

Tav clenched her jaw, willing her body to stay still, to not tremble beneath the weight of him. She should be ashamed. She was ashamed. But gods, it was hard to think when Astarion was like this—when he made her feel so alive.

When his cock was sliding through her and it felt electric .

He began to pick up the pace and Tav dug her fingers into the earth,nails biting into pebbles. 

No, no, no. They were making too much noise. 

Wyll was going to hear. 

Through the brush he swung his lantern and walked a few steps to the thicker side of the bushes. 

Astarion grinned wickedly, his eyes locked on Wyll's movement. "He might hear you, darling," he whispered, thrusting more forcefully now. 

He was fucking her into the earth, just like how a vampire might.

Tav bit her lip. She had to stay calm, focus on keeping quiet. But her walls were clenching, her arousal growing higher and higher. 

She had never felt an ascent this intense. 

She was going to erupt.

Tav felt Astarion begin to speed up, his movements growing more urgent and desperate. Her name was whispered over and over again from his lips as he plunged deeper into her with every thrust.

A twig snapped to the far side of the forest and Wyll turned his head, and began to walk farther away. 

“Finally,” Astarion grunted, and began pounding Tav into the dirt, hand still over her mouth. The slap against skin was audible now. There was no way Wyll couldn’t hear it, even as he was walking away. 

Astarion let out a groan, his rhythm faltering for a moment, before picking back up. His pinky caressed her bottom lip, and she could feel the slickness between them as he pushed himself closer, deeper. 

“You know, pet. I said I was going to feed. We have to keep up appearances, don’t we?”

His mouth grazed the back of her shoulder, then up her neck. “Should I bite your scruff while I fuck you in front of your boyfriend? Like a wild beast?”

The shame of it all mingled with the dirty delight that coursed through her veins. Astarion was right; she had never felt anything like this before. The devilish thrill of being caught, the illicit nature of their encounter in front of Wyll... It was too much, too intense.

The pleasure was building, her body coiling tighter and tighter. 

Wyll turned around and began walking back toward them. 

Her panic flared and she writhed.

Astarion’s hand clamped down harder against her mouth. “Shush darling,” he whispered tightly in her ear. “Can you keep quiet while I bite you?”

They were going to get caught. 

She might as well give up.

Her head fell against the floor as her body coiled tighter and tighter and tighter. 

Astarion’s teeth sank into the side of her neck, biting part of the muscle in her shoulder. The pain was more intense than when he first bit her all those nights ago. 

She bit his own hand, body shaking. 

Wyll had stopped moving. The light from his lantern flickered in the darkness, casting eerie shadows over the forest floor. Tav could almost feel the glow of the lantern, and she knew that any moment he might see them.

The thought was almost too much for her to bear. 

In that moment, Astarion gave a deep thrust, and she felt his cock swell slightly, and his seed erupted inside her. 

The heat was unlike anything she had felt before, the pressure of his come making her walls flutter and clench. 

Her body reached its peak, the pleasure came in beautiful, powerful waves, and she cried out in spite of herself. 

Astarion’s hand instantly tightened on her mouth.

The sound was small, muffled, but it was there.

As if on cue, Wyll whirled around. Astarion stopped moving completely, but his cock was still spasming, and her walls clenched again and again, making her breath in quick gasps through her nose. 

Astarion pinched her nose, as well as covering her mouth, so that no noise came from her.

His mouth was still on her skin, and she felt a trickle of blood leak down the side of her neck. 

The shine of Wyll’s boots was a few inches away, right on the other side of the bush. And Astarion was as still as stone on top of her. 

Her lungs were burning. 

The lantern was almost illuminating them. Any second now Wyll would yell at them. 

“Where the fuck is she?” Wyll mumbled, and stepped back. 

And back. 

And back.

And then finally, the glow of his lantern disappeared as he walked deeper into the forest. 

Astarion removed his hand and Tav gasped in a breath, chest heaving in gulps of air.

Astarion licked up the thin line of escaped blood, savoring it as he slowly withdrew from her. She winced at the pressure, her body still thrumming from what they had done.

She let out a shaky breath. Her limbs felt weak, her heart still hammering in her chest. Gods . What had she just done?

Her fingers reached up and brushed over her throat, where his fangs had sunk in moments before. She could still feel the ghost of his touch—his hands gripping her, his lips at her skin, the heat pooling between them. She swallowed hard, forcing herself to glance over her shoulder at him.

He was brushing dirt off his thighs.

Tav slowly pushed herself up from the ground. She knew she must look disheveled. Hair a mess. Eyes glazed. Face flushed. 

Astarion stood there, utterly at ease, a lazy smile curling his lips as he extended a hand to help her up. His fingers lingered at her hips before he let go.

He then pressed her bundle of clothes into her hands. Tav accepted them, her fingers trembling slightly as she clutched the fabric to her chest.

She bit the inside of her cheek, shaking her head at herself. Reckless. Stupid. She had let herself get carried away—let him carry her away.

Astarion pulled his pants up and over his glistening cock. Tav couldn’t help but stare. 

His seed slipped down her thigh.

Astarion walked up and slid his hand gently against her skin, catching his seed, before plunging his fingers inside her, forcing her to take all of him. To keep him inside her.

Tav gasped and clutched onto his arm.

He laughed, low and knowing. “Oh, darling,” he whispered. “We’re going to have so much fun together.” 

Astarion sucked at his fingers when he withdrew them from her trembling sex.

He patted her bare bum, smirking as she sucked in a breath, and then, just like that, he turned and strolled back toward camp.

[fortunekookie07]

Dance with Me - Caleb

Finally the day had arrived. You walked to the den and found Caleb sitting at the table working quietly. His back is bent over his current project. You never really understood his fascination with putting together these models when he flew the real thing. But it made him happy to assemble the tiny versions.

Sometimes, you loved to sit and watch him work. The concentrated look on his face was so cute. His eyes would be narrowed, and his brow would be furrowed as he carefully put the small pieces together.

You call his name softly and wait until he turns around before presenting him with the box you were holding.

Placing the small box in Caleb's hand with a grin, you sit next to him. "Didn't we agree, no gifts this year?" He asks, setting down the wrench. The pieces of his model are scattered across the table.

You kiss his cheek. "This is one gift you don't want to miss." He eyes you and then the box before grasping the ribbon and tugging. The simple bow knot comes undone. Pulling the lid up, he stares down at a black and white picture.

Confusion furrows his brows as he picks it up and stares at the image. Slowly, a smile stretches across his face. "You mean?" He asks, looking at you with pure joy. "Mhh hmmm." You nod vigorously.

He pulls you up with him and starts dancing around the kitchen and into the living room. You laugh as he spins you around in a crazy rhythm.

"Caleb, what are you doing?" He brings you in close, and you can hear the thumping of his heart. "Dance with me!" He can't contain his enthusiasm. Finally, you collapse on the couch, but it seems he still has energy to spend.

"I'm going to be a farher!" He shouts and then runs to the door and throws it open before shouting the same sentence from the open door.

You shake your head at your childish husband. Eventually, he comes back to where you're seated and sits down before laying his head in your lap. Turning to face your still flat stomach and wrapping his arms around your waist. "How far along are you?" He mumbles into your stomach. Whether he is asking you or the growing baby, you're not sure.

"Almost ten weeks." You brush your fingers through his hair. You can feel his smile against your stomach. Is this why you've been weird with food lately." You know it's a rhetorical question.

Having grown up together your whole life, Caleb is more than familiar with your eating habits. "Yeah, Tara went with me to the doctor for a checkup last week. She was almost as excited as you were. Don't worry, you are the first to find out."

Caleb gets up and then pulls you up and into his arms. "Ca-Caleb! Where are we going!" You laugh as he waltzes over to the bedroom and throws the door open with his evol.

"There's still time! We might be able to make them twins!" You laugh at this man, with his vast understanding of sciences, saying something so absurd. But he won't hear of it and so you end up spending the rest of the day in your bedroom. He hardly let you up to eat or use the bathroom.

You stroke his bare back, listening to him snore softly as you lay tucked into his arms.

The path to your current relationship had been incredibly difficult. With all the secrets he'd tried to keep from you on his desperate and somewhat deranged path to keeping you safe. Then there was the aftermath when those secrets had come to life.

His mental health had hit an all-time low, and he'd come close to calling these life quits. It was honestly a miracle that you'd made it to today.

"This life isn't easy, but I hope you'll help me take care of your daddy." You say softly stroking your stomach.

Being with Caleb wasn't easy. Despite having known him your whole life, he felt like a stranger when he came back. A strange pretending to be the protector you'd always known.

When everything came to light and all his secrets, pain, and suffering were laid bare, it had been brutal.

Caleb was willing to end it all. If he couldn't have you, he didn't want anything anymore.

You still remembered the desperate look on his face that day. The raw fear in his eyes as he thought you were going to walk away from him. You hadn't been sure of what you wanted until that point.

But when you sank to your knees in front of him and hugged him, all had seemed right, like you just knew it was all going to be ok. You knew you didn't want to lose your best friend, and you found the strength and courage in your heart to save him.

Caleb had stood trial, and people were ready to throw the book at him. It was only when evidence came to light that he hadn't been acting of his own free will that changed everything.

He'd gone from the monster seeking to destroy the city to a victim. Forced to act against his will and better nature. The looks of pity they gave him had been almost as bad as their anger.

He still suffered from that time. His nightmares were terrible. Sometimes, he would cry in his sleep. Only holding onto him and assuring him he was not alone helped.

So, to say it had been a difficult year was an understatement. It has taken months to get Caleb reinstated in the DAA. His friends and fellow pilots had welcomed him back with open arms. Ready to have him at their side once more. Some friends really would stand with you through hell and high water.

Picking up pieces of a broken life was worth it in the end. When you got the news, the first person you wanted to tell was Caleb. You'd even sworn Tara to secrecy until you could break the news

Unconsciously, Caleb holds you closer, and you drift off to sleep.

****************************************************

Here we go with story 2!

Caleb was difficult for me to write, in that I struggle with adding depth to this story for him. I knew I wanted to have a theme for all five guys and I started with a thought, making very sure no story is the same and I believe I have succeeded, a you'll find out in thevdays to come.

I know Caleb was introduced near the beginning of MCs story, but his character is still very unknown to me. Hence my great struggle with keeping to what I do know.

So please don't come for me! I did put my best effort into this.

[deadhands69]

Cute When You Stutter

loser!Shigaraki x gn/afab Reader

suggestive ▷ smut ▷ fluff

part 1 of 5

[series masterlist]

Grocery shopping with your boss is always an adventure, today especially so. You swear half your job is trying to get him to live on more than instant ramen cups and energy drinks. 

“You need to eat a vegetable,” you plead for the fourth time today. He makes a scrunched up face in response. You’re about to offer sexual favors in exchange for him eating healthy but turns out there’s no need. He throws a bag of baby carrots in the cart before wandering off somewhere. You continue shopping, knowing he’ll pop up eventually.

Pausing at the Valentine’s aisle, you make a quick turn. Even after critiquing Shigaraki’s diet, you can’t help it. You find yourself mesmerized by the shiny colorful wrappers. Grabbing a few bags of chocolates and conversation hearts for everyone, you throw them in the cart with the rest of the groceries. You could wait a few days for day-after candy sales but by then all the good stuff will be picked through. 

Without warning, you hear a loud giggle followed by your asshole ex appearing at the other side of the aisle. An attractive girl clings to his arm, it nauseates you to think you used to do the same.

“Oh, hey y/n,” his fake smile flashes in front of you, “this is my girlfriend.” He emphasizes the word, as if it means that much to you. Turning to her, he tells her to toss whatever she wants in the cart. She does so, racking up quite the pile of pink and red. They’re both clearly dressed for a date while you’re in the baggiest sweatpants and hoodie you own. You don’t want to care, but it’s hard not to compare yourself to them. 

It’s fine though, you’re over it. You were over it the moment you found out he was cheating on you and realized the person you thought you were dating doesn’t exist. It sucked, absolutely, but it’s been a while now and you’re definitely over him.

Here’s the thing though… as much as you don’t care about him, his opinions of you, or how pretty the girl on his arm is (okay, you care a little about that in a worried-about-her-run-girl-run kind of way but whatever) there’s still an involuntary twinge in your gut watching him trying to flaunt his amazing life in your face. Worse, you can already picture the looks of pained sympathy from all of your mutual friends after he will inevitably spin this into some weird thing to make you look pathetic without him like he did when you broke up.

No, you can’t let that happen. Not again.

Shigaraki walks around the corner, arms full of ramen packets. At least some of them appear to have vegetables in them.

“Hey, these were on sale and I got as many as I could carry but-” you practically knock them out of his hands, grabbing him by the shoulders and leaning into his ear. 

“Play along,” you whisper. His eyes widen.

You keep it subtle. Not laying it on thick as much as your ex, you don’t want to make it look like he got to you in any way. Brushing your hand against the back of Shigaraki’s arm, leaning into him, normal “look this is my boyfriend” stuff. He tries to play along as much as he can, but stiffens at your touch. You run your fingers over his shoulder and notice his hands shaking. 

“It’s okay,” you mouth before reaching for his hand. You’re careful to only grab two of his fingers and his palm, avoiding all five. Pushing the cart down the aisle, you try to stroll past them as casually as possible, while his new girlfriend continues filling the cart with plushies and candy. You sneak a glance at Shigaraki who looks mortified but it would be hard to miss the way his pants tighten in the front. In spite of all of this, he still hasn’t pulled his hand from you. The two of you walk all the way to the checkstand like this. As you approach the self check aisle, he abruptly realizes he's still holding on and yanks away from you, looking rattled.

“Do you know how dangerous what you did was?” he asks as you walk out to the car.

“You didn’t hate it,” you shrug, knowing fully well what his other hand was adjusting in his pocket earlier.

“No, but…still,” you unlock the trunk and he quickly moves the bags in before slamming it shut and climbing into the passenger seat. 

“Why do people like guys like that anyways?” he asks as you start the car.

“I honestly don't know.”

series masterlist - bnha masterlist

taglist: @shigarakislaughter @kalulakunundrum

[lonely-ey3s]

With All My Love : Chapter 12 | love letters - part two

Chapter 12 : Love Letters pt. 2

Pairings: joel miller x f!reader (no outbreak)

Word count: 10.9k

Chapter Summary: The day after Joel proposes to you, you both are in for a bit of a surprise...

Chapter warnings: Chapter warnings: SMUT (18+ MDNI), public-ish sex, unprotected piv, anxiety, flashbacks of traumatic memories, mentions of PTSD anxiety, FLUFF, joel being an absolute lover, soft!joel, use of Spanish but with translations, use of y/n, angst, feelings of insecurity, panic attacks, if i missed any lmk

a/n: sorry this one took so long but i appreciate your patience. i still have a migraine but was able to push this out- enjoy ✨

Dividers by: @saradika-graphics 

Main Masterlist

You must’ve both drifted off to sleep under the stars last night because when you awoke early that next morning to a few drops of water on your face, you hummed and snuggled closer to Joel. You then felt a few more land on your bare shoulder and you opened your eyes to gray clouds above you, and the sun barely up.  

“Shit.” you giggled softly, then kissed his bare chest, “Joel wake up, we fell asleep.” you hurried and got up, putting your dress on quickly. 

He hummed, smiling sleepily. “Mmm, come ‘ere… 5 more minutes…” he said, reaching for you. 

“As much as that is enticing, it’s about to rain, and I don’t want any of this to get damaged. Come on… help me pack up, cowboy.” You leaned down and kissed his bare shoulder before standing up and jumping out of the truck bed. You quickly went for the photos wrapped around the tree, which to you were priceless. 

He shot up when you kissed his shoulder, registering what you just said, eyes wide looking at the sky, “Shit!” 

You giggled and looked back at him as the rain began to come down a little heavier, “Hurry, get dressed!” 

He looked at you and chuckled, hair deshelved, fumbling to get his pants on. 

Rain softly falling against the metal of his truck, and gradually getting louder was a good indication you needed to hurry.

You gathered the photos and put them into the back seat of the truck. 

He quickly grabbed his shirt and threw it on, inside out and backward, but he didn’t have time to fix it as rain starting to come down in bigger drops.

He chuckled as he started assessing what he needed to grab.

He quickly gathered all the pillows and blankets from the bed and jumped to the side, putting them into the backseat. 

You ran and grabbed your backpack with all your now new camera equipment as well as his letter, which now had a few raindrops on it, and put it in the backseat safe from getting further damaged. 

He quickly took down the lights and put them in the back as well along with the picnic basket.

He turned to find you and chuckled as he found you trying to gather all the tea lights in a bag that you had found in the back of the truck, “Baby, leave ‘em! You’re going to get soaked!” he said right as lightning struck and shortly after thunder boomed, making the rain now pouring down on you both, you both pausing at the shake of the ground then chuckling at the chaos of the situation. 

You looked at him and smiled brightly, “And? Afraid of a wee bit of rain now, cowboy?” you softly laughed and looked up at the sky with your eyes closed, opening up your arms, letting the rain come down on you like it was a religious experience, “This is amazing!” you giggled. 

He had never seen a more beautiful sight. You looked free, happy, and carefree.

He was in awe of you. 

He smiled widely and started coming over to you, you leaned your head back down hearing his steps from the small puddles under his feet, and opened your eyes to watch him– smiling as he crowded your space. He wrapped his arms around you, picking you up in the air, spinning you both around, you were both just happy to be in this moment together. 

You giggled and wrapped your arms around his neck loosely, threading your fingers through his soaked locks, leaning your forehead against his. 

He set you down softly and kept one arm around your waist then moved his hand up to cup your cheek, gently caressing it with his thumb, he hummed contently, “Good mornin’, novia…” (fiance) he said softly. 

You beamed up at him with how widely you smiled, you let out a small giggle, letting one hand fall to rest on his chest, the other combing back his hair, “Good morning to you, future husband…” 

His smile instantly grew wider than what it already was, accentuating his dimples. He looked down at your lips and then your eyes before leaning in slowly, slowly closing his eyes, and capturing your lips with his. He started with a tender sweet kiss before deepening the next few kisses.

After a few he slowly pulling away and nudged your nose with his but then you both saw a flash of lightning and a few seconds after heard another loud boom. 

You giggled against him, “Shall we head home?” you put your other hand on his chest and smiled gently pecking his lips. 

He shook his head, “I’ve got a better idea…” he backed up slowly and held out his hand for you to take. 

You took it with your left hand and blushed as he pulled it to his lips and kissed your ring before walking you to the truck and helping you in after opening the door. 

You sat in the truck, sopping wet, leaning back into the backseat to grab one of the blankets to wrap yourself in as you were freezing. 

Joel came around and got into the driver's side, turning on the truck and heater immediately, his skin covered in goosebumps. 

He held his hands in front of one of the vents and smiled, “Shit, didn’t think it was that cold… you must be freezing…” he looked at you shivering as you wrapped yourself in the blanket, “…come ‘ere baby…” he grinned as he pulled you into his lap over the console, “Lemme warm you up.” he said gruffly. 

You giggled and allowed him to bring you into his lap, wrapping your left arm around the back of his neck and then bringing the right one to touch his cheek, “Warm me up, hmm?” you leaned in and nudged your nose against his softly, smiling as he held you close as you both warmed up. 

He held onto your thigh with his left hand and then rubbed his hand on your back softly, nodding and humming contently, “You can call it that or maybe I just wanna hold you, hermosa.” he leaned up and kissed your lips softly a couple of times before pulling away and leaning his forehead against yours, feeling you gently massage your fingers through his scalp with your left hand while your right laid contently on his chest. 

You both stayed like this for a few minutes, letting the heater spread through the car and warm you two up enough that between the heat and the moisture you both had, it began to fog up the windows. 

You giggled, “We better get going, it looks a bit scandalous…” You nodded towards the windows fogging up and kissed his cheek before moving to sit back in your seat. 

He opened his eyes from resting against you and looked where you had nodded, chuckling as you moved, “There something wrong with a little bit of a heated car session?” 

You shook your head and smiled, “No, but don’t think front-seat sex would be fun… seems a bit… tight?” You giggled and blushed, curling into the seat. 

Joel smirked and set the gear of the truck to drive, “Hmm, I’ll have to prove you wrong on that front one day, mi vida…” he looked over and winked at you. 

Joel and you went out to get breakfast at a local coffee shop, enjoying the time it was just you and him, knowing most likely when you got home you’d be swarmed by Maria, Tommy, and Sarah since they all would be beaming with joy since last night. 

When you finally got home around noon Joel parked the truck and came around to get your door, smiling and holding out his hand. You smiled, “Thank you sweetheart…” you took his hand and hopped out, before he smiled as he closed the door and pushed you up against the truck gently, connecting his lips with yours, kissing your deeply and slowly, slowly moving his hands down your waist to cup your ass and pull you against him. You let out a soft moan and grinned against his lips, “Broad daylight cowboy… as Rose told us, there are kids around…” you joked as he grumbled and moved his lips to kiss your neck, wanting you there and now. 

You held onto his shoulders and with one hand threaded your fingers into the curls at the base of his neck, grinning as you felt him grow harder against your thigh. 

 His hands were everywhere, needy and eager, “Inside… we need to get inside, I need you…” he lightly nibbled on your skin. 

You let out a small moan and nodded, blushing, “Agreed.” 

You grabbed his hand and pulled him with you to the front door, before turning against it and pulling him down softly by the collar of his shirt to reconnect your lips with his in a couple deep and heated kisses, whispering as he pulled away just a fraction to focus on putting the key into the lock, “Do you think they’re home?” kissing his ear softly; heart pounding in your chest excitedly.

He shook his head, grinning, breath heavy and quick, “Truck ain’t here…” he reconnected with your lips, kissing you passionately, putting his hand on your cheek and waist, and opened the door to walk you both through it. As soon as you were both through the threshold, he placed the keys in the bowl, you giggled as he held you against his chest, drunk on you.

You both took two steps from the front door, lips crashing over each other to immediately hear a large group of people yells from the living room, kitchen, and dining room, “Congratulations!” and confetti sticks popping towards you, you gasped and pulled away from Joel’s lips, hiding your face in your hands against his chest as he held you close, it momentarily triggering you but then when you heard everyone’s cheers and felt Joel hold you close that melted away and softly giggled.

Joel instantly turned bright red like he’d been caught doing something much worse which Tommy instantly clocked and let out a loud laugh, “Somethin’ the matter brother?”

Joel bit his lip and shook his head, looking up at the ceiling, letting out a deep chuckle, “Ya’ll are wrong for catchin’ us the morning after like this…” you chuckled and leaned up to look at him, blushing but smiling brightly at him for a moment, soaking it all in.

You snapped out of your spell and looked at the crowd, around the room of people, smiling, feeling so much love and support. You then saw Elena by the couch, tearing up with her hands up to her face, smiling widely at her son’s obvious joy. 

You instantly smiled brightly and open your arms to walk over and hug her, “Elena, I’m so happy to see you here!” you giggled and she wrapped you in her arms and hugged you tightly, softly saying, “¡Oh, haces mi corazón tan feliz!” (Oh, you make my heart so happy!)

You softly chuckled and held her close to you, “Estoy muy feliz de ser parte de tu familia.” (I am very happy to be part of your family.) you whispered back, tearing up. 

She pulled back and took your hand in hers, looking down, tears falling down her cheeks, “¡Déjame mirar el anillo!” (Let me see the ring!)

You chuckled softly and held out your hand for her to see, “Thank you for this. Joel said it was a family heirloom. I… thank you for trusting me with it, I won’t disappoint you.” 

She looked up and smiled through tears, “You could never disappoint anyone, hija…” (daughter). 

You softly smiled at the term she used, nodding. 

She touched your cheek gently, “Call me mama now, I must insist!” 

You nodded and lightly chuckled, “Of course…mama…”

She smiled, and you felt Joel come up behind you, gently kissing your cheek before greeting his mom. 

Joel hugged his mom and she pulled him aside gently telling him how proud she was of him, how happy he was, and couldn’t wait to have more grandbabies. He chuckled and kissed her head and teased her saying, ‘Más despacio, por favor’ (Slow down, please). 

You turned and hugged Sarah who standing nearby and was tearing up and so happy for you and her dad. She rambled how excited she was to help plan the wedding and already had so many ideas. You chuckled and kissed her head and hugged her again telling her how you couldn’t wait to do that with her, that you’d have to start as soon as the party was over. She nodded and told you that she loved you and was happy you were going to officially be her mom which made you tear up and hug each other again. 

Joel turned around and found you smiling at the two of them as Sarah rushed off to help Maria in the kitchen. He took your hand and kissed it, “Hey, let’s go change. Tommy said they waited to start the barbeque up to keep the element of surprise.” 

You nodded and smiled before the two of you headed upstairs, but then heard Maria clear her throat from the kitchen and narrow her eyes at you both with a smirk, “Change and only change you two…” she teased. 

You both turned red and ran up the stairs holding onto each other's hands. 

You got into the bedroom and sat on the bed, now terrified of Maria and her warning, softly giggling to yourself for a moment.

You hummed and started to take your shoes off, unbuckling them. 

Joel closed the door and locked it, immediately seeing you struggle a little bit, “Here… let me help you, mi amor…” he came over and knelt in front of you, helping unbuckle your shoes gently. 

You watched him and smiled softly, leaning back on your hands behind you, “If this is your attempt at funny business…. it’s doin’ it.” you winked teasingly. 

He looked up with those big brown eyes and grinned, “Oh yeah?” he kissed the inner part of your ankle, softly letting out a chuckle, “What’s doin’ it for you darlin’?” he kissed up your leg, keeping his eyes on yours, grinning against your skin. 

You blushed, “Well the chivalry for one…” you bit your lip and leaned forward a little, “But there’s somethin’ about seein’ you on your knees that does it for me if I’m bein’ completely honest…” you giggled as he leaned forward, closer to you. 

He grinned and looked up at you and hummed softly then looked at your lips for a brief moment, commanding in a deep voice, “Stand up…” he looked up at your eyes and then back down at your lips. 

You blushed and stood up, looking down at him, trying to keep yourself together but you couldn’t help how instantly you could feel warmth spread down your bare thighs. 

He took off his shirt and threw it into the hamper, “Take that damn dress off my love…” he instructed. 

You nodded and blushed as you removed your dress, tossing it also into the hamper behind you. 

He looked up at your body, examining every curve, memorizing every freckle and scar, he smiled and lightly kissed the side of your hip where your small cricket tattoo sat, “You know Levi was right… you still do that cute little feet kick thing when you get comfy in bed…” he continued lightly kissing across your stomach. 

You carded your fingers through his hair softly and smiled at the delicate way he was kissing your body, you hummed, “Caught me in action, did ya?…” you chuckled. 

He looked up at you and lightly and slowly lifted your leg to put over his shoulder, sinking further down on his knees and kissing your inner thigh softly, humming in agreement. 

You let out a soft moan and your eyes fluttered shut, “J-Joel…” 

He kissed up your thigh getting closer to your core, “Now, you’re going to be a good girl and keep quiet while I eat your pretty little pussy, yes?” he said lowly, kissing once higher up your thigh, his breath warm against your aching core. 

You nodded and let out a shaky breath, “Yes…” 

He grinned and looked up at you, “If you start to lose your balance - I’ve got you, but you can hold onto my hair if needed, yes?” 

Your chest began to rise quite quickly with excitement as you nodded and swallowed in anticipation, “Yes…” 

He grinned and then took his tongue and dragged it lightly against your folds, then attaching his lips over your clit to lightly suck and flick his tongue against. 

You gasped, eyebrows knit together and immediately grabbed his hair, holding him to where he was but also holding your balance, biting your lip to hold in your moan. 

He held your thigh with one arm but wrapped his other arm behind your ass, keeping you close to him, holding you up as well as he felt your legs go weak. 

He pulled away for a moment to gently kiss your clit, then take his tongue and press it flat against your core, sucking and slurping you up, lewd noises coming from his lips. 

You chuckled as that was the only thing you could do without moaning, “Fuck!” you whispered, blushing as your whole body felt it was on fire by this, you gripped onto his hair a little tighter, earning a groan from him that provided the right amount of vibration against your clit to push you closer to the edge, “Fuck, keep making those sounds cowboy, that feels good…” you bucked your hips against his face biting your lip as he groaned again, attempting to get any fraction of friction against your clit. 

He continued to do that, groaning softly as you rode his face, feeling that familiar coil begin to tighten deep within.

He watched and saw when your breathing began to get more shallow and you started to gasp and bite your bottom lip and groan softly, he began sucking on your clit at a relentless pace, making you quickly spiral into an orgasm. 

You gripped his hair and shoulder, cursing under your breath over and over again, smiling as waves of ecstasy washed over you. 

He pulled back for a moment and licked his lips, “Fuck you taste so sweet, preciosa…” he said with a hoarse whisper.

You looked down at him and saw his lips and scruff were coated with your pleasure. 

You grinned, “Fuck me, that’s a sight to see…” You gently pulled him by his hair to roll his head around in your grasp against your thighs to see how it had dripped down to his chin.

However, what you realized was this man smirked when you gripped his hair like this.

He enjoyed it. 

The small amount of control you had in moments like this and he thrived on it when it’d happen. 

You bit your lip softly and grinned as his reaction, “Think we can get away with a quickie or do you think they’ll hear downstairs?” said softly, panting, trying to be as quiet as you could. 

Joel smirked, “I can be careful…” he softly and slowly let go of your leg and rose to stand over you, gently kissing your lips, giving you a taste of yourself for a moment before pulling away, “Lay down on your side, mi vida…” he said as he started undoing his belt, looking down at your body hungrily. 

You got onto the bed and did as he said, watching him undress. 

He took his pants and boxers off and let them fall around his ankles before he stepped out of them and came onto the bed. He threaded your foot you had on the mattress between his legs, to wrap around the back of his leg. He held your other leg at a 90-degree angle to have your calf wrap around his body but held it up by your thigh. 

He then took his free hand and tapped his hard cock against your ass cheek, “We’re going to take this nice and slow, careful not to rock the bed…” he looked up at you, “...but this angle I’ve heard is intense for both of us, so, if you need to, take one of those pillows to moan those pretty little noises into, ok?” he rubbed his head through your slick, coating himself before aligning at the entrance, hungry for you to be wrapped around him.

You nodded and smirked, putting your elbow under your head to support your neck, “I need you… please…” then gasped as he wasted no time and sunk deeply into you, letting out a small moan as you felt every inch of him intensely at this angle. 

He grunted and gripped onto the meat of your hip and thigh as he bottomed out, swallowing down any sound he might make by clenching his jaw.

You hummed in pleasure and shut your eyes as he drew himself in and out of you slowly. This angle making it more intense than it usually was when he’d take his time like he said it would. You quickly began to realize how quickly you were barreling towards release. You opened your eyes to watch him as his hips glided him in and out of you, looking down to watch his cock move effortlessly within your warmth.

This angle made everything feel tighter, more extreme, making goosebumps litter up your skin, “Baby I need more… please…” you pleaded, arching your back a fraction, you reached and grabbed his hand that had a death grip on your hip and brought it to your breast. 

He knew exactly what you needed and began to knead your breast before he put your nipple between his digits and pulled it softly to tease you, “Like that, amor?” he also was feeling himself approach his orgasm faster than he estimated, this angle milking him quicker and more intensely.

He began to speed up his thrusts a fraction, careful not to make the bed shake or squeak, attempting to get you what you needed.  

You nodded and rolled your eyes back, smiling as you gasped, “Fuck… that’s it.” you mewled and began unconsciously rocking your hips against him, making him grunt and clench his jaw.

“Fuck baby, I’m gonna cum if you keep doin’ that…” he whined and gripped onto your nipple harder, making you gasp and clench around him, feeling that coil close to snapping, turning your head into the pillow next to you to moan, rocking your hips faster, eager for release. 

He took his hand from your breast and grabbed your hand that was now gripping the sheets behind your back, threading your hand with his, eager for connection in moments like this. 

He briefly saw it was the hand with your ring on it and instantly his hip began to thrust faster, making the bed softly hit the wall. Something about you and that ring on your finger made him feral with you wrapped around his cock. 

You moaned loudly into the pillow, praying it muffled the sound so no one heard as you heard music playing from downstairs. 

He whimpered and grunted, “Fuck baby, you’re so tight around me…” he snapped his hips into you, “You look so beautiful taking my cock like this…”

His tip crashed repeatedly against your cervix, causing you to come intensely around him, harsh waves crashing over you making your thighs quiver. 

He felt you flutter around him and as if it was a reflex he spilled himself deep into you, cursing under his breath, mumbling how good you feel when you come around his cock. 

Your mind was numb, absolute mush, dizzy on him, you smiled against the pillow, attempting to catch your breath as your chest heaved up and down unevenly and quickly. 

He removed himself from your warmth and fell to the side of you, grinning, feeling like he was floating. 

You removed your face from the pillow after a few moments of calming yourself down and looked at the clock, you’d only been up here for less than 10 minutes. 

You sat up and leaned over, kissing his cheek, “Take a second, I’ll get us something to change into, cariño…” You kissed his cheek again and then got up from the bed, going into the closet to find something for the both of you to wear as he laid there recovering. 

You sifted through the closet and found him a light tan button down and jeans to wear, then found yourself a jean jacket and dress you found out thrifting the other day. 

You came back and brushed his hair back softly, leaning over and kissing his shoulder gently, “Clothes are at the end of the bed, I’m going to go freshen up…” you said as your lips stayed on his skin before kissing him again and then walking into the bathroom to get ready. 

Joel smiled watching you walk away into the bathroom. He laid there for a moment more, thinking about the last 24 hours, and couldn’t help but feel his heart was so full. 

He sighed contently and then he sat up and started getting dressed. 

You combed through your hair and reapplied some makeup before getting dressed and coming out to see Joel sitting on the bed, smiling happily, waiting for you. 

You smiled and came over, standing in between his legs as you were reaching behind your neck to put your necklace on, struggling a little bit, your adrenaline still a little high, making your hands shake.

He stood and pecked your lips, “Allow me…” he nodded to turn around. 

You blushed and handed him the necklace before turning around and putting your hair to one side so he could clasp it. 

He gently kissed the back of your neck before he put the necklace over you and clasped it behind your neck, “There we go, mi vida…” he kissed your neck gently again. 

You smiled and turned around, humming and bringing your hands up to fix his hair which had obvious signs you were not only getting ready like Maria commanded.

You giggled and gently combed your fingers through to style it, “Your hair is getting a little longer baby, I like it…” you looked up at him and smiled once you had fixed it decently. 

He had put his hands on your waist while you fixed it, pulling you close to him, enjoying the small acts of service and love you do for him like this. He smiled down at you, “Yeah? Think I should grow it out a bit?” he brought his hand up to cup your cheek, gently caressing it. 

You nodded and blushed, “I wouldn’t mind a little more to hold onto…” you joked. 

He chuckled and leaned in, “I wouldn’t mind that either, esposa…” he kissed your lips slowly and deeply a couple of times. 

You smiled and placed your hands on his chest, blushing as you kissed him back, feeling happier than ever. 

You slowly pulled back and smiled, “We better head down before they send someone up…” You chuckled, “And by someone, I mean Maria…” 

He nodded and chuckled, taking your hand, “Yeah… Maria is surprisingly scary…” he teased as he began walking out of the room.

You both made it back down and immediately were pulled in different directions. Joel pulled by his buddies from work and Tommy to congratulate him. You were pulled by Maria and the women that had come, wanting to see your ring and know the details. 

As they pulled your attention away from being in your little bubble with Joel, you saw the extent of decor they had done that you hadn’t seen before going upstairs. 

They had pictures of you both hanging from white pearlescent balloons throughout the house, little memories of the last several months together, little pieces of your love story. 

Maria had made a small heart-shaped cake that said ‘just engaged’ on the top which you told her looked professionally done and said she had a huge knack for, told her that she should do this as a business which everyone around you agreed. 

Elena had made a ton of food with Maria and Sarah since last night and the house was full of family and friends, all excited to celebrate this moment with you both. 

Frank came up as you finally snuck away from a big crowd to grab a drink, he tapped your shoulder and chuckled, “Excuse me, Mrs. Miller?” 

You turned and put your hand over your mouth so you wouldn’t spill your drink, swallowing quickly, “Frank!” you put your drink down and embraced him, smiling happily, “I was wondering if you and Bill made it!?” 

He chuckled and held onto you, “Of course we did, we wouldn’t miss an opportunity to celebrate you two!” he pulled back and grinned, “So? How do you feel?” 

You smiled and blushed, looking over at Joel who was having a beer with Tommy and a few of the men from his crew, laughing softly, “I am so happy Frank.” you looked back at him and bit your lip, “He completely surprised me, I had no idea of it…” 

Frank chuckled, “I think most of us knew after the first barbeque that he was going to ask sooner than later…” 

You chuckled lightly, blushing thinking back to that day, it was so early in your relationship and such a crazy day but it was perfect, “Oh? Why’s that?” 

Frank grabbed a drink and leaned against the counter with you, “I’ve known Joel for about 13 years now… I never knew Rachelle, but I knew what happened, you know?” he swirled his drink in his hand, looking down at it. 

You nodded, “I don’t know the full extent of what happened, but I do know the basics, how it affected him and his outlook on relationships and life…” you said softly, some sadness in your voice. 

Frank nodded, “Bill knew him before it happened, said he lost his light.” he looked up towards you, “Bill said the moment he opened the door and saw you standing with him that day we first met, he saw that light back, but brighter.” he smiled, “I knew right then and there he’d be proposing within the year… that man was too head over heels not to.” he chuckled. 

You chuckled and smiled warmly, feeling your cheeks get warm by the kind words Frank. You looked up and softly cleared your throat, “Can I ask you something about Rachelle that you may know about?” 

Frank nodded, “Sure…” 

“What happened? I mean I know she just left, but why?” you looked down at your drink feeling rude for asking. 

Frank sighed softly, “I don’t think even Joel knows the real reason why. All she said was she never wanted any of this and that she left to follow her dreams, that being a mom wasn’t in that plan…” he bit the inside of his cheek and looked over at Sarah who was giggling with some of her friends from soccer, “I don’t get how you could just leave her… how you could just walk away from your flesh and blood.” he shook his head, disappointed in her mother’s actions. 

“Coming from someone with emotionally absent parents… parents that I swear to this day never wanted me… I can say that I’m glad Sarah never knew that, or I hope she never felt that.” you messed with the rim of your glass, “I can’t count the times my mom told me that she had never wished I was born, or how she wished she would have kept that abortion appointment she made…” you bit your lip to keep tears held in, “Sarah would have grown up with a mom like that if she would have stayed. Rachelle would have resented Sarah for everything good that little girl has done because she would have felt jealous of her accomplishments.” 

Frank looked up at you, sensing that’s what you went through. 

You cleared your throat and clenched your jaw, shoving down those feelings you had kept away for so long, not wanting them to soil this day, “But she doesn’t have that in her life, thank god, and she’s beaming and soaring all because of those that raised her… Joel, Tommy, Elena, Frank and you… hell even Rose.” you smiled.

Frank could tell the switch happened, the quick shut of that door, and his heart broke knowing you had parents like that. He nodded then chuckled lightly, knowing you wanted to change the subject, “Can I ask you a question now?” 

You looked up and him and nodded, “Shoot.” 

“Big or small wedding?” he grinned as he took a swig of his drink. 

You chuckled lightly, “I think Joel and I agree to do either a big one or…. elope…” you teased. 

Frank gasped, “You better not elope, and if you do, I insist we are in the small amount of attendance…” he narrowed his eyes.

You let out a small chuckle, “Oh you’re gonna be there no matter what! You’ve got to be one of my bridesmen!” you smiled softly. 

Frank perked up, “Say you’re serious!” he smiled widely. 

You nodded and touched his arm softly, “Serious! Will you be one of my bridesmen?” 

He nodded and chuckled then set his drink on the counter and took yours softly before grabbing you in his embrace and hugging you tightly, “Yes of course!” 

You giggled as you hugged him, pulling back for him to only ask the same question everyone else had asked today, “So tell me, how did he propose?”

—

After talking to Frank a little more you wandered over to Joel, who was talking now to a few distant relatives, and took his hand gently, waiting for him to be done talking, not wanting to interrupt, they were talking about the upcoming season of football. 

After a moment he excused himself and turned to you, “Comin’ to join me?” he kissed your temple. 

You smiled, “Comin’ to check in, have you eaten yet?” you put your free hand on his chest and gently stroked your thumb back and forth as you looked up at him. 

He shook his head, “Not yet, everyone keeps pulling me aside…” he chuckled and tucked a loose hair behind your ear. 

You pecked his lips and looked at his family, “Mind if I steal him for a moment, get something to eat?” 

They shook their head and smiled at you, then nodded toward him, not knowing you spoke Spanish, “Maldita sea, conseguiste un ama de casa allí, Miller, me alegro de que no sea una cazafortunas.…” (Damn, got yourself a housewife there Miller- glad she’s not a gold digger…) then they started to chuckle as a group at you both. 

You chuckled softly at what you took as a joke and started to walk away, taking him with you, finding it harmless. 

Joel looked back and gave them a look like he was offended about what they said, narrowing his eyes and clenching his jaw. They held their hands up in surrender and giggled, not knowing he was actually upset.

He turned around and wrapped his arm around your waist as you both walked towards the kitchen, “I’m sorry about them baby, that was out of line, they are stupid and don’t know what they’re saying half the time.” he said apologetically. 

You turned to look at him and chuckled softly, “I wasn’t offended… I thought it was just a harmless joke?” you shrugged and grabbed a plate, “Was it meant as something else?” you innocently questioned. 

He let go of your waist, grabbed a plate, and started gathering food beside you, “I just found it rude for them to not only call you a housewife like that, and insinuate you being a gold digger- but then also speak in another language… which they don’t know if you speak or not, it was like they were trying to say something behind your back.” he said softly, clearly bothered.

You looked at him and leaned over, kissing his cheek to ease his frustrations, “I don’t think they meant harm, and I didn’t take it that way, but if you think they did, you should talk to them about it, yeah?” you offered. 

He nodded and put his hand on the small of your back, as you both walked to another counter with more food, “Yeah, I guess I could.” he picked up a few more things to put on his plate, “I’m just sorry if they did mean harm, that’s not ok and I’m not going to let it fly.” he peeked over his shoulder back at them, chuckling as a group and then sighed softly and looked back at you. 

“I mean they aren’t wrong…” you started, trying to get his attention. He turned his head to look at you, you smiled, “At least I’m not a gold digger…” you smirked. 

He chuckled and set his plate down, taking yours and setting it next to his before turning you towards him and pulling you close, cupping your cheek softly, pulling you in to kiss his lips a few times softly before he pulled away for a moment, “You could be a housewife, gold digger, sugar baby… I don’t care…” he looked down at your lips then looked back into your eyes, softly nudging his nose against yours and dragging his thumb against your lips, “All I know and care about is that I’m marryin’ you and you’re going to be my wife, yeah?” 

You nodded and hummed, keeping your eyes on his as he spoke. 

He nudged your nose once more, and whispered, “You’re going to be my wife, the mother of our kids, my life partner… people will speak to and about you with nothing less than the highest amount of respect, always if I have anything to do with it, mi vida.” then softly brought your lips to his and kissed you slowly and deeply. 

You smiled as you continued to kiss him before you both heard Tommy wolf whistle and cheer, making everyone look at you both and join in, making you both chuckle against each other's lips, both blushing a shade of red. 

“Damn slow down brother, we don’t need any mini you’s running around quite yet!” Tommy teased which earned a slap on the arm by Elena who was standing next to him. 

“Habla por ti mismo!” (Speak for yourself) she gasped and tsked. 

You chuckled and cleared your throat, speaking up a little louder and turning towards everyone, “Well I guess now that everyone’s attention is on us, I’d like to thank you all for joining us today in celebration. It means the world to know I have so many family and friends I’ll be joining into…” you felt Joel take your hand softly and kiss it as he stood next to you, “I uh… I come from being pretty much a lone wolf, an only child, both of my parents have been gone for some time, so to have this overwhelming amount of love and support is…” you cleared your throat and nodded as tears started to cloud your eyes, “...it means a lot.” 

Joel kissed your temple and stepped forward, “I can second that, the amount of love and support is astronomical and I for one can say I had no idea this party was happening! I mean, I’ve been meticulously planning my proposal for the last few months so how ya’ll snuck this past me… well done and thank you to Tommy, Maria, my beautiful mama and daughter, Sarah, you four win the prize for hiding two big surprises in the last 24 hours!” he smiled softly at them.

Everyone softly chuckled, and a few people shouted cheers. 

Joel smiled and looked down at you and then at the crowd, “Forgive me but I’m going to get a little sentimental and perhaps emotional…” he chuckled and cleared his throat but then reached for his drink, “I’m sure most of you know how we met, but just in case you don’t, here’s a little short story.” 

There were a few small chuckles in the crowd and everyone quieted down to listen. 

He looked out towards the crowd and held you close to his side, “Sarah convinced me to join her in a pen pals program close to a year ago. Now, I wasn’t too excited about it, and to be honest, I got Y/N’s information 3 weeks before receivin’ her first letter...” you gasped jokingly and chuckled, acting shocked.

Joel chuckled lightly, “I was just too hard-headed to make the first move and didn’t think it would honestly turn into anything more than two people writing boring letters back and forth.” he chuckled and rubbed your back with his thumb softly as he spoke, “But, then I got a letter from a woman, who was going to be deployed as an army medic, who had a wicked sense of humor, and that within the first letter - I felt her warmth start to seep into my being.” he blushed and looked down at his drink shyly.

“We went several months writing back and forth… exchangin’ postcards and letters… getting to know each other but also both falling in love with the other over nothing more than pens, paper, and stamps.” he teared up remembering something, “I uh… I don’t know if I’ve even told her this, but around the 4th of July, I went… insane… I feel like is the right word…”

He chuckled and then heard Sarah shout from the crowd, “Yep, insane, crazy, loco…” she teased.

Everyone laughed, you giggled into his shoulder, and Joel chuckled and tsked, “Ok ok, they get it…” he looked at Sarah and smiled at her.

“But my point is that I lost my mind… from not hearing from her.” he looked back at you and you smiled at him warmly, kissing his shoulder, listening.

“You were um… you were stuck in that area for about 3 weeks where the mail couldn’t come in or out and… man let me tell you…” he chuckled softly, “Sarah could probably tell you how many times I went out to that damn mailbox to check for a letter every day for those 3 weeks.” he looked towards the tv for a moment, “I watched the news religiously, for some reason thinking that would help with my anxiety of not knowing if you were ok or not.” he looked down at you and had a few tears fall down his cheeks which you caught by gently touching his cheek. You also had a few tears fall down your cheeks as well. 

“But god, when I found out that Tommy was writing and Skyping with Maria and all the dots fell together…” you both started to chuckle and smile at each other, he leaned in and kissed your forehead, “... that was the biggest goddamn relief.” he looked back at the crowd. “After that, it involved more letters, then finally Skyping… and of course more anxiety due to risky field assignments…” he chuckled as he looked at Maria and she nodded at him, knowing the shit you all four went through for those few days.

He smiled widely and sighed softly, “Then when she got released to go home, and I surprised her back in South Carolina which was the right choice I’ll say myself…” he smirked, “Airport kisses are… top-notch…” he chuckled and clicked his tongue, then looked at you, “Especially when they are with the love of your life.” he looked down at your lips then your eyes and smiled lovingly.

The crowd lightly cheered and whistled as you leaned up and kissed him gently a few times, then pulled back, “I second that opinion… top notch.” you winked at him. 

He chuckled and kissed your cheek then turned to the crowd and cleared his throat,  “With all that being said… I’d like to raise a glass to this woman next to me that I am now blessed to call my fiance…” he took his drink and raised it, the crowd did the same. 

He smiled looking down at you, “Mi vida, you are the reason for my peace, my breath, and for every single good thing that I have in my life since you came into it. You are the warmth that fills our home, you are the reason that I’m not so grumpy…” he chuckled and a few small chuckles came from the group. 

“... but you are the reason that I want to be a better father, son, brother, and man… for you and those around us.” a few tears fell down his cheeks before he kissed your forehead gently, cleared his throat, and looked to the group, “A toast to you, my love, may I never know a day without your love…” he looked back down at you and smiled brightly, “Te amo con todo lo que soy y te buscaré en cada vida y te amaré allí...” (I love you with everything I am and will look for you in every lifetime and love you there.)

He leaned in and kissed you gently once then pulled back and lifted his arm and smiled at the group, “Salud!” 

Everyone raised their glasses higher as well and shouted, ‘Salud’ in unison as well. 

You blushed and raised your glass as well, repeating with the group then took a sip. 

Joel turned towards you after taking a sip of his drink and cupped your cheek with the hand that was on your back, leaning in to give you a soft deep kiss as everyone toasted to you. 

Tommy whistled and cheered, “To the future Mr. and Mrs. Miller! ¡Que tengas un matrimonio lleno de amor, largo y feliz!” (May you have a loving, long, and happy marriage!)

Joel kept you close as everyone toasted to Tommy’s wishes, arm around your waist and smiling happily.

The afternoon went on with food, catching up with everyone, and feeling like you but repeated yourself about a hundred times whenever someone asked how he popped the question, but you never got tired of sharing every little detail, feeling over the moon that it had happened. 

You all made it out into the backyard as the house began to get stuffy and you were all itching for some fresh air. 

The sun had set and Tommy had a fire going with a firepit to keep everyone warm. Joel was inside helping Bill pack up some leftovers as he and Frank had to get going but you sat in a camping chair next to Elena and Sarah around the firepit, laughing softly at something Sarah had said about Tommy when they were prepping last night.

You stood to excuse yourself to get another blanket as he began to get chilly and began walking towards a pile in the back of the yard when all of a loud whistle shrieked up into the sky then a loud boom erupted. 

You immediately ducked and squatted out of instinct hearing the shriek, “Fuck…” and took cover hearing the loud boom behind the shed that was a few feet from you.

Before you could register what was going on you were taken right back to Delta 42 and the feeling you had when you were all running from the missile alarm.

Your heart began racing and your hands were shaking, eyes wide with fear, breathing shaky and quick.

Within seconds colors filled the sky, it was fireworks.

Your breathing was quick and uneven, you shut your eyes and leaned back against the shed, working through your breathing, trying to calm down, going over your exercises that you came up with in therapy, “Breathe… this isn’t what my mind is making it, I am safe…” you repeated to yourself.  

As soon as the boom happened Elena looked back to find you, knowing this could be a trigger for you but couldn’t see you. She stood, alert, instantly concerned, “¿Dónde está Y/N?” she asked Sarah.

Sarah looked around, saw her grandmother’s concern, and instantly connected the dots, “Shoot, umm… go get dad. I’ll look around.” 

Elena nodded and left to get Joel inside, another whistle and boom went off, and beautiful colors covered the sky above. 

The thing is, if you had known this would happen, if you had some warning, you would have been ok. You could have anticipated the loud noises, you could have told your brain what it was, but what happened, the surprise of it all, it incited something deep in you that you had no idea was a catalyst.

You told yourself mentally, ‘Maria had the loud noise triggers, she had the nightmares of the missiles and grenades, hitting near you and your group. Not you… you had night terrors of those you lost or couldn’t save, not this. Snap out of it.’

Hearing a second boom made you jump, you covered your head with your arms like something might fall on you and then moved to keep your head between your knees, hands on your head, you softly said to yourself, “Make it stop… please…” Now terrified, the second round making it worse. 

Sarah frantically started looking everywhere but could barely see anything in the damn dark, but when a third set went off and the flash lit up the yard, she spotted you and ran over, “Mom?” she leaned down and put her hand on your back, she could feel your body shaking with fear, “It’s ok mom… I’ll get help… I’ve got you…” she could tell you weren’t ok and looked around, then saw Joel, Maria, and Elena looking around as they came out of the backdoor, she shouted and waved her hand, “Over here!” 

Maria had nothing but concern on her face. She immediately ran into the house after the first one went off knowing you may react like this. She explained to Joel and Elena as they made their way over that Tommy wasn’t supposed to light them until you were fully aware. However, he had alcohol flowing through him and as Bill and Frank were on the way to their car, Bill saw a lighter and a bundle of fireworks. Let's just say he and Bill were trouble together when intoxicated and stupidly lit it before Maria could stop them or anyone could tell you what was going on. 

Elena had the same look on her features, she knew exactly what was going on. Tommy went through this when he got home and was upset he wasn’t more careful with you. 

Joel looked concerned, worried, mad, sad, and a bunch of other emotions the second his mom came in with the look she had on her face and urgency to get him to you.

He was mainly concerned that this was going to knock you ten steps back in what work you’ve done so far. You had just made it two weeks without a night terror and now for this to happen, he knew it would have repercussions, and that angered him deeply. 

He came over and knelt by Sarah, he heard you quietly say over and over to make it stop, he looked at Maria, eyes dark with anger, “Tell Tommy to take the damn hose to it. Now. Shut it down.” he touched your knees softly to offer some comfort or anchor for you as you had curled up, “I’m right here, mi vida… I got you.” he said softly, kissing your head softly.  

Maria nodded and ran back to the front to do exactly that. 

Elena knelt as well and looked at Joel, “¿Qué puedo hacer para ayudar?” (What can I do to help?) 

He shook his head and for once he didn’t know what to do to bring you comfort, “I don’t know… Mama, I don’t know what to do…” he sounded slightly panicked, racking his brain on what to do.

She touched his shoulder, “Hey… she’ll be ok, mi amor… let’s just wait for them to stop…” she comforted him. 

Another shriek went off, more intense this time and then two loud shrieks went off as two had gone off together. You pressed your hands to your ears to muffle the sound. Joel put his hands over yours to help block as much sound as he could. However, when the loud booms went off, your hands shook, beginning to hyperventilate, and then your body jumped with the loud crackles echoed the sky, “Please… make it stop…” you began to sob, looking up at him terrified. 

Joel pulled you close and kissed your forehead, keeping his hands on your ears, he was livid, this could have been avoided, but because of his brother’s drunken state, he’s now ruined your special night. 

He looked at his mom, “As soon as this damn thing is over get everyone to leave, she’ll need as little stimulation as possible.” 

She nodded and stood up, immediately ready to send everyone on their way. 

He looked to the sky to watch for more and then looked at Sarah, “Can you grab another blanket? She’s shaking…” 

She nodded and ran over to the spare blankets, grabbing a few, she ran back, putting them over you, one behind your back and over your shoulders and then one on your knees, “Here ya go mom… see? It’s going to be ok…” she knelt back by her dad and put her hand back on your back, rubbing it softly back and forth, trying to help comfort you. 

The fireworks seemed to stop and Elena took that as an opportunity, she whistled like she was herding cattle and smiled, “I think that’s a fabulous farewell for the night don’t you? Let's pack up and get home, leave the happy couple to enjoy their night, si?” she helped corral everyone inside to leave. 

Tommy and Maria came out to the back as everyone went in. 

As soon as Joel saw Tommy coming towards the group he clocked his eyeline and looked at him, anger emitting from him, shaking his head, warning him not to come over right now. 

Tommy immediately knew it was bad. He fucked up. He instantly felt himself sober up seeing the look in Joel’s eyes. He nodded and went back inside, sitting at the table waiting to apologize. 

Maria went in and also stayed with him, knowing Joel was most likely going to be upset with the both of them. 

Joel turned to you and kissed your head, “It’s stopped… no more fireworks… it’s over…” he kept his hands however over your ears as long as you needed them there. You leaned against him and nodded, feeling very overwhelmed, and embarrassed as well. 

You reverted to old habits and instinctively started to apologize, feeling that you ruined the night with your reaction, “I’m sorry… I’m so sorry… I didn’t know… I’m so so sorry Joel…” you started to cry softly. 

Sarah looked at him and teared up at how sincere you sounded, you really thought this was your fault or that you had something to be sorry for. Joel shook his head and kissed your head over and over, “Shh… no it’s not your fault. No apologies are needed… shh… just breathe for me… deep breaths.” he looked at Sarah sadly. 

She leaned her head against his arm and kept rubbing your back, “Yeah Mom… no need to be sorry, these types of things are scary for you, it’s ok to feel this way… what happened to you back there was scary. This isn’t something you’re expected to be ok with off the bat.” she spoke calmly and softly, tried to help in comforting you. 

You eventually calmed down after about ten minutes of waiting, making sure mentally you were in the clear. You removed your hands from your ears, hands still shaking, senses heightened, “Can we go inside?” 

Joel nodded and gently took your hand, bringing it to his lips, kissing it gently, “Yeah baby, let’s get you inside…” 

He and Sarah helped you stand up and then walked with you inside, taking it slow as you still looked like a fearful animal that had been trapped, jumping or looking back at every little sound, clearly on high alert. 

You managed to get inside and Tommy stood from the table with Maria, eyes sad, he went to say something when Joel cleared his throat gently, stopping him from speaking, “Sarah, will you take her upstairs and help her get ready for bed? I’m going to say goodnight to Tommy and Maria.” he softly smiled at Sarah, trying to keep his cool as seeing his brother made his blood boil.

Tommy let his head hang low and messed with his shirt, he knew he was going to get an earful from Joel.

Maria also sadly looked down, messing with her cuticle, nervous but completely understanding about what was about to be said from Joel.

They both were reckless in handling this, not running it by either of you to even make sure the fireworks were ok, they knew better. However, when it came to Joel’s anger, it was more towards Tommy as he was the one that lit the damned things.  

Sarah knew what was about to happen and nodded timidly, “Yeah, ok… I can do that. I’ll stay with her until you get upstairs…” She softly smiled and took your hand, “Come on, let's go get our pajamas on… yeah?” 

You were somewhat disconnected but managed to nod, following her as she took you upstairs. 

Joel watched from the bottom of the stairs and as soon as the bedroom door closed he looked at the two of them, eyes fueled with nothing but anger and frustration, fists balled, but before he could say anything his mom cleared her throat, softly speaking up.

“Recuerda que ustedes dos son familia, hijo…” (Remember you two are family, son…) She softly used her hand to touch his shoulder, aiming to calm him down.

Joel looked at his mom and sighed, frustrated, then back at them, “What the hell were you two thinkin’ doin’ fireworks?” he bit out.

Neither of them answered, they had no good answer.

Joel scoffed, “Y tú, bastardo borracho, ¿de verdad crees que prender fuego a cosas y beber es una buena combinación? Anythin’ coulda happened, Tommy!” (And you, you drunk bastard, you really think lighting things on fire and drinking is a good mix?) he raised his voice just a little. 

Tommy nodded and looked at Joel, “I agree, it was stupid and reckless… and Joel, you know me, I didn’t do this purposely… I… I feel like shit knowing I did it at all…” he looked up towards the stairs, “That I did that to her… fuck… Joel, I’m so sorry.” he sighed and hung his head back down. 

Maria looked up at him and cleared her throat softly, “I’m sorry too… the fireworks were my idea, I thought they’d be fun and I just… it was a huge fumble on my part too. I should have spoken to her and asked triggers first.” she swallowed nervously, “We are both very sorry…” 

Joel sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, “I know you’re sorry, I can tell that by the way you both are lookin’ at me with those damn puppy dog eyes like Sarah did when she was a toddler…” he scoffed, “I just… I…” he looked at his mom and she nodded, telling him to be honest, open up to what he was feeling with them. 

He looked at them and sighed heavily, “I don’t know what to do now… I’m mad because this wasn’t supposed to happen… she’s supposed to be happy, feel safe, feel protected here in her own damn home… today wasn’t supposed to end like…” he could feel anger boil up so he turned away, grabbing the edge of the counter to ground himself.

“Today wasn’t supposed to end on a bad note… I get it. Again, I’m so sorry Joel. What can I do? I’ll do anything…” he said softly, “I’ll go talk to her… tell her what happened…” he offered. 

Joel shook his head and snapped, “No.” he looked at his brother and his jaw clenched, “I need ya’ll to leave. Just… go home…” he sadly looked at Maria and then at the floor, feeling himself tear up from utter frustration and disappointment. “I need to take care of my fiance and right now that doesn’t include apologies and excuses from you, Tommy.” 

Tommy nodded, feeling like he was going to be in the dog house with at least Joel for a long time, “Yeah… I get it. I uh… we’ll call tomorrow to check in, yeah?” 

Joel nodded, “Yeah, callin’ will be fine.” he had his hands on his hips, looking at the edge of the counter to avoid looking at the two of them. 

He took a minute then came over and kissed Elena’s cheek, “Can you stay in the guest room? It’s too late for you to drive back…” 

She nodded and touched his cheek, “I’ll walk them out, you go up to bed. I’ll lock up, si?” she looked up at him concerned but supportive. 

He nodded and headed up the first few stairs, before turning around and looking at Tommy and Maria, who were putting their jackets on, “I uh… I just want ya’ll to know that I am just feelin’ a lot right now, and I know she’s feelin’ more… I’m just overwhelmed but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you any less or that I’m not grateful for what you both did by putting this party together… I just… we need time, that’s all.” 

Tommy looked up and nodded, “Please express to her how sorry I am… I… I feel so fuckin’ stupid. I’ve been where she is in recovery and I just… I feel like shit.” he teared up. He felt horrible, truly horrible this happened. 

Joel saw his brother get choked up and came down the stairs and embraced him, hugging him, “I know you didn’t mean it, and I know she’ll know that already too.” he pulled back and put his hand on Tommy’s shoulder, “I’ll call Diane in the morning and see what I can do to help, let you know if there’s anything you can do either… but it’ll be ok. I’m just very protective of her, you know?” he looked at Maria, knowing Tommy was the same with her. 

Tommy chuckled softly and reached back, taking Maria’s hand, “Yeah, I know… me too.” 

Joel nodded and softly smiled, “I’ll call you tomorrow mornin’, just get home safe, yes?” 

Tommy nodded and patted Joel’s arm softly, “We will.” then he and Maria walked out the front door with Elena shortly after. 

Joel sighed softly and walked up the stairs then gently knocked on the door before coming in, he found you and Sarah asleep on the bed, holding hands and facing each other. 

He went to close the door to go check on some things downstairs when Sarah perked up sleepily, whispering, “Dad?”

He opened the door and hummed, whispering, “Everything ok?” 

Sarah nodded, “She was askin’ for you… wanna switch?” 

Joel nodded and softly smiled, “Yeah, let’s switch…” 

He left the door cracked and came over to his side of the bed, taking his shoes off. 

Sarah slowly slid her hand out of yours, careful not to wake you, and slid off the bed, she stretched and looked at Joel, “Is Abuelita staying in the guest room?” she whispered. 

He nodded, “Yeah, it’s too late for her to drive home.” 

She nodded and smiled softly, “I’ll go check and make sure she doesn’t need anything, but I’ll see you in the morning.” she kissed his cheek as he started unbuttoning his shirt and left the bedroom, closing the door behind her softly. 

You stirred in your sleep hearing the door close and then felt no one by you and shot up. 

Joel softly said your name to let you know he was there and you breathed a sigh of relief, laying back down, “You coming to bed?” you said quietly. 

He smiled and nodded as he took off his pants and got into bed, wrapping you softly in his arms, and pulling the bedsheets over you both. 

You moved and laid your head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat, you whispered, “What happened…” 

Joel softly drew his fingers up and down your back, kissing your head, pausing for a moment thinking of what to say before he just told the plain truth, “Tommy and Bill were a little drunk and lit the damn fireworks before Maria had a chance to run inside and let us know. They both feel horrible.” he kissed your head again. 

You nodded and softly hummed, then sighed heavily, your mind racing. 

He could tell you were elsewhere mentally as you usually were after triggering events, “What’s going on in your head, my love?” he softly asked. 

You shook your head and bit the inside of your cheek, “Nothin’ worth talkin’ about, especially now it’s over.” you said softly, feeling overwhelmed by what you had going through your head.

You were starting to feel like a burden, too heavy for those around you. You felt like you were constantly being knocked ten steps behind with things like this happening, little triggers, little moments of weakness.

The little voice in the back of your head jabbed that knife in deep, wreaking havoc, tearing everything down, tainting it with insecurity. Screaming at you, ‘It keeps happening- the airport, the nightmares, the restaurant, now tonight. It’s supposed to be the one night when things were supposed to be good and cheerful and perfect and because of you and your stupid fucking trauma it ended like this.’

Joel’s hand stopped on your back and his head rose off the pillow to look down at you, “Hey, that’s not true… what’s going on?” 

You sighed frustrated by your trauma, and shook your head, turning around to lay away from him, “Joel… just… please leave it.” you curled up into a ball and tears silently fell down your face as you felt the weight of everything crashing down, old habits distancing yourself.

‘He’s going to get tired of you. One day he’ll wake up and realize you’re too much. He’s going to find someone that isn’t damaged, who doesn’t have so many goddamn scars.’ your mind taunted. 

Joel had never seen this side of you, one that won’t let him in. The disconnection and numbness were consuming you before his eyes. 

He rolled over and gently touched your arm, “I don’t know what you’re goin’ through up in that beautiful head of yours… but you have me, I’m right here and I’m not leavin’... I’m here to stay.” he reached over and kisses your shoulder softly, trying to connect with you. 

“Why?” you said simply, just above a whisper.

“Why what?” he asked confused. 

“Why do you stay… why do you…” your voice broke, “I’m so much.” 

Joel immediately wrapped you in his arms and pulled you against him, “Hey… you don’t ever think that you’re too much, do you understand me?” he kissed the back of your head and your shoulder, keeping his lips on you. 

You closed your eyes and tears fell down your cheeks, you took a shaky breath in, “I just feel like one day it’s going to be too much…” 

Joel rubbed his thumb against your skin, and teared up hearing how you felt, “Do you think I love you any less when these things happen?” 

You shrugged, “I don’t know… I just know that half the time my anxiety tells me that but I shove it down… but what if it’s right...” you said quietly.

Joel nuzzled his nose into your hair and whispered, “I can tell you that when these things happen, moments where you are scared or hurting, it makes me want to love you more so that I can maybe take away some of the pain.” he kissed your hair softly, speaking up a little louder but still softly, “Your pain will never take away from my love.” 

You swallowed and nodded, keeping your eyes closed, starting to breathe a little more evenly. There were a few moments of complete silence before you opened your eyes and turned in his arms to face him, he looked down at you and you gently touched his cheek, looking at his eyes, the both of you not needing to say a word, understanding exactly what was being said. 

You leaned your head against his and kept your hand on his cheek, holding him as close as you could to yourself, telling that stupid little voice in the back of your mind that he wasn’t going anywhere and neither were you. 

You both closed your eyes and relaxed, but you slowly drifted off to sleep as he gently rubbed your back with his thumb and gently and ever so softly humming songs of love and devotion to keep you peacefully asleep wrapped in the protection of his arms.

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