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mercanstalks · 1 year
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Decoding Payroll in Colombia: Must-Know Tips for Employers
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Payroll management is a critical aspect of running a business in any country, and Colombia is no exception. With its unique laws and regulations, understanding and navigating Payroll in Colombia can be complex for employers. In this article, we will decode payroll in Colombia and provide must-know tips for employers to ensure compliance and streamline their payroll processes.
Payroll in Colombia: Understanding the Basics
In Colombia, employers are required to comply with various laws and regulations related to payroll management. One of the key aspects is the minimum wage, which is set annually by the Colombian government. Employers must ensure that they are paying their employees at least the minimum wage based on the employee's role and location.
In addition to the minimum wage, employers in Colombia are required to make contributions to social security, health insurance, pension funds, and other mandatory benefits on behalf of their employees. These contributions are calculated as a percentage of the employee's salary and are subject to regular updates by the Colombian government.
Another important aspect of payroll management in Colombia is the payment of bonuses and other types of compensation. Bonuses are commonly paid in Colombia, and employers must ensure that they are calculated and paid in compliance with the law. Failure to comply with these regulations can result in penalties and legal issues for employers.
Payroll Taxes in Colombia: Navigating the Complexities
Taxes are an important consideration in payroll management in Colombia. Employers are required to withhold and remit various taxes on behalf of their employees, including income tax, value-added tax (VAT), and other local taxes. These taxes are subject to regular updates and changes by the Colombian government, and employers must stay updated to ensure compliance.
In addition to employee taxes, employers in Colombia are also required to make their own contributions to social security, health insurance, and pension funds. These contributions are calculated based on the employer's payroll expenses and are subject to regular updates by the Colombian government.
Navigating the complexities of payroll taxes in Colombia can be challenging for employers. It is essential to have a thorough understanding of the tax laws and regulations, as well as to stay updated with any changes. Engaging with a local tax expert or payroll provider can be a valuable resource to ensure compliance and avoid potential penalties.
Compliance with Labor Laws in Colombia
Compliance with labor laws is a critical aspect of payroll management in Colombia. Employers must ensure that they are adhering to various labor laws and regulations to avoid legal issues and penalties.
One of the key labor laws in Colombia is the Labor Code, which governs the rights and responsibilities of employees and employers. The Labor Code covers various aspects, including working hours, overtime, vacation, and termination of employment. Employers must ensure that they are complying with the provisions of the Labor Code, including payment of overtime, calculation of vacation pay, and compliance with termination procedures.
Another important labor law in Colombia is the Law on Social Security, which governs the social security benefits for employees. Employers are required to make contributions to social security on behalf of their employees, and failure to comply with these requirements can result in penalties and legal issues.
Employers in Colombia are also required to comply with regulations related to workplace safety, discrimination, and other labor-related matters. It is crucial for employers to have a thorough understanding of these laws and regulations and ensure compliance to avoid potential legal issues.
Outsourcing Payroll in Colombia: PEO and EOR Solutions
Outsourcing payroll in Colombia can be a viable solution for employers who want to streamline their payroll processes and ensure compliance with local laws and regulations. Two popular options for outsourcing payroll in Colombia are Professional Employer Organizations (PEOs) and Employer of Record (EOR) solutions.
PEOs are companies that act as a co-employer, sharing the responsibility of employment with the employer. They handle various payroll-related tasks, including payroll processing, tax withholding and remittance, social security and benefits contributions, and compliance with local labor laws. By partnering with a PEO in Colombia, employers can benefit from their expertise in local payroll regulations, which can help ensure compliance and reduce the risk of penalties.
EORs, on the other hand, are companies that take full responsibility for employment and payroll on behalf of the employer. They handle all aspects of payroll management, including compliance with labor laws, tax withholding and remittance, and benefits contributions. EORs can be a suitable option for employers who want to outsource all employment-related tasks and focus on their core business operations.
When considering outsourcing payroll in Colombia, it is essential to choose a reputable and reliable PEO or EOR provider. Conduct thorough research, check their track record, and ensure that they have a good understanding of local laws and regulations. Partnering with a trusted payroll provider can help employers save time and effort, ensure compliance, and minimize the risk of legal issues.
Must-Know Tips for Payroll Management in Colombia
Managing payroll in Colombia can be complex, but with the right knowledge and approach, employers can ensure compliance and streamline their payroll processes. Here are some must-know tips for effective payroll management in Colombia:
Stay Updated with Laws and Regulations: Labor laws, tax regulations, and social security requirements in Colombia can change regularly. Employers must stay updated with the latest laws and regulations to ensure compliance. Engage with local experts, consult with legal advisors, and regularly review government websites for any updates or changes that may affect your payroll processes.
Maintain Accurate Payroll Records: Accurate record-keeping is crucial for payroll management in Colombia. Employers must maintain detailed records of all payroll-related transactions, including salary payments, tax withholdings, benefits contributions, and bonuses. These records should be kept for a minimum of five years and be readily available for audits or inspections.
Calculate Bonuses and Compensation Correctly: Bonuses are common in Colombia, and employers must calculate them correctly to ensure compliance with local laws. Bonuses are subject to specific rules, such as being proportional to the employee's salary or based on the company's profits. It is essential to understand and comply with these rules when calculating bonuses to avoid potential legal issues.
Ensure Timely and Accurate Tax Withholding and Remittance: Tax withholding and remittance are critical aspects of payroll management in Colombia. Employers are required to withhold and remit various taxes on behalf of their employees, including income tax and VAT. These withholdings must be done accurately and remitted to the government on time to avoid penalties.
Comply with Labor Laws: Compliance with labor laws, including the Labor Code and the Law on Social Security, is crucial for employers in Colombia. This includes proper calculation and payment of overtime, vacation pay, and adherence to termination procedures. Employers must also comply with regulations related to workplace safety, discrimination, and other labor-related matters to avoid legal issues.
Consider Outsourcing Payroll: Outsourcing payroll through a reputable PEO or EOR provider can be a viable option for employers in Colombia. These providers have expertise in local payroll regulations and can handle various payroll-related tasks, ensuring compliance and reducing the risk of penalties. However, it is crucial to carefully choose a reliable provider and review the terms of the contract before outsourcing payroll.
In conclusion, managing payroll in Colombia requires a thorough understanding of local laws and regulations, accurate record-keeping, and compliance with labor laws and tax requirements. Employers must stay updated with the latest laws, calculate bonuses and compensation correctly, ensure timely and accurate tax withholding and remittance, and consider outsourcing payroll to a reputable provider. By following these must-know tips, employers can ensure compliance with payroll regulations in Colombia and minimize the risk of legal issues.
H3: Benefits of Outsourcing Payroll in Colombia
Outsourcing payroll in Colombia can offer several benefits for employers. Here are some advantages of partnering with a PEO or EOR provider for payroll management:
Expertise in Local Regulations: Payroll regulations in Colombia can be complex and ever-changing. By outsourcing payroll to a PEO or EOR provider, employers can leverage their expertise in local regulations. These providers are well-versed in the latest labor laws, tax regulations, and social security requirements, ensuring compliance and minimizing the risk of penalties.
Time and Effort Savings: Payroll processing can be time-consuming and labor-intensive. Outsourcing payroll allows employers to free up valuable time and resources that can be dedicated to core business operations. It also eliminates the need to hire and train in-house payroll staff, saving on recruitment and training costs.
Enhanced Accuracy and Compliance: Payroll errors can result in costly penalties and legal issues. Outsourcing payroll to a reputable provider can help ensure accurate calculations of salaries, bonuses, and tax withholdings, reducing the risk of compliance issues. These providers also have robust systems in place to maintain accurate records and remit taxes on time, further enhancing compliance.
Access to Technology and Tools: PEOs and EORs typically use advanced payroll software and tools to streamline their processes. By outsourcing payroll, employers can gain access to these technologies without having to invest in expensive software or systems. This can result in more efficient and automated payroll processes, reducing the likelihood of errors.
Flexibility and Scalability: Outsourcing payroll provides employers with flexibility and scalability in managing their workforce in Colombia. PEOs and EORs can handle payroll for any size of workforce, whether it's a small team or a large organization. They can also accommodate changes in the workforce, such as new hires or terminations, with ease.
Reduced Risk of Legal Issues: Non-compliance with payroll regulations in Colombia can result in severe legal consequences, including fines, penalties, and legal disputes. By outsourcing payroll to a reputable provider, employers can minimize the risk of legal issues. These providers have in-depth knowledge of local laws and regulations and ensure compliance with all payroll-related requirements.
Conclusion
Payroll management in Colombia can be complex and challenging, with various labor laws, tax regulations, and social security requirements to consider. Employers must stay updated with the latest laws, maintain accurate records, calculate bonuses and compensation correctly, and ensure compliance with labor laws and tax requirements. Outsourcing payroll to a reputable PEO or EOR in Colombia provider can be a viable option to ensure compliance, streamline payroll processes, and reduce the risk of legal issues.
If you are an employer operating in Colombia, it is crucial to understand the nuances of payroll management and consider outsourcing to a trusted payroll provider. With their expertise in local regulations, advanced technologies, and streamlined processes, a PEO or EOR can help you manage your payroll efficiently, save time and effort, and ensure compliance with all relevant laws and regulations.
In conclusion, decoding payroll in Colombia requires a comprehensive understanding of local regulations, meticulous record-keeping, accurate calculations, and compliance with labor laws and tax requirements. By following the must-know tips and considering outsourcing payroll to a reputable provider, employers can navigate the complexities of payroll management in Colombia successfully and avoid potential legal issues. Choose the right payroll solution that best fits your business needs and ensures smooth and compliant payroll operations in Colombia.
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thesocialexaminer · 1 year
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Mercans is a leading provider of business solutions, specializing in payroll processing, PEO (Professional Employer Organization), and EOR (Employer of Record) services in Colombia. With in-depth knowledge of the local market and its unique business landscape, Mercans offers comprehensive and reliable payroll services, PEO solutions, and EOR services to businesses operating in Colombia. As a trusted provider of payroll services in Colombia, Mercans ensures accurate and compliant payroll processing, including tax calculations, social security contributions, and adherence to local payroll regulations. Mercans' payroll solutions are tailored to meet the specific needs of each client, providing efficient and compliant payroll services that streamline payroll processes and minimize compliance risks. Mercans' PEO services in Colombia provide a strategic and cost-effective solution for businesses looking to establish or expand their operations in the country. With Mercans as the PEO, businesses can outsource their HR, payroll, and employment administration to a reliable and compliant partner, reducing administrative burdens and mitigating compliance risks. Mercans' PEO solutions ensure compliance with local labor laws, employee benefits administration, and smooth onboarding and offboarding processes, enabling businesses to navigate the complexities of Colombia's HR and payroll landscape with confidence. For businesses without a legal entity in Colombia, Mercans offers comprehensive EOR services as the legal employer of record. Mercans' EOR services ensure compliance with local employment laws, regulations, and tax requirements, allowing businesses to establish a local presence without the need for complex legal and administrative setup. Mercans' EOR solutions provide businesses with flexibility, scalability, and peace of mind, making it a preferred choice for businesses seeking to expand their operations in Colombia. With its in-depth understanding of local payroll regulations, PEO expertise, and EOR capabilities, Mercans is a trusted partner for businesses seeking comprehensive and compliant business solutions in Colombia. Mercans' payroll, PEO, and EOR services provide businesses with the support and confidence they need to effectively manage their HR, payroll, and employment functions, ensuring compliance, efficiency, and success in the Colombian market.
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stele3 · 8 months
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https://www.reuters.com/world/americas/death-toll-rises-23-after-mudslide-northwest-colombia-2024-01-13/
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unidiferente · 1 year
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Te voy a escribir todo lo que siento en este momento.
No se sinceramente cuales son tus planes para estar aqui conmigo.
Me dices que me amas y que soy todo lo que siempre quisiste pero yo aun no me sientl querido como yo quisiera, literalmente hoy no existo en tu vida. No se que vaya a pasar en unos dias.
Capaz me convierto en alguien que de verdad se siente querido por ti y me quito estas inseguridades, pero hay que aceptar que tu tienes tu forma de ser y yo tengo la mia completamente distinta en ese aspecto de amigos y gente.
Luego de 8 meses de vida juntos aun no has subido la primera foto conmigo.
Me duele burda sinceramente, el "vengo de una relación que fue muy publica" its all bullshit, no se porque no terminas de subir una foto conmigo y ya. Se te cae el ganado, se te caen los culos, las opciones, etc.
Aqui estoy en las sala de la casa fe tus papas, trabajando para poder alquilar un apartamento carisimo porque gracias a ti estoy aquí, pero no significa que te deba ka vida, yo siempre tengo opciones.
Estoy mejor que en los teques, si. Pero si no me demuestras que de verdad me amas no creo que podamos estar juntos al final, aqui tu tienes mas amigos que yo, hasta donde se te la pasabas saliendo con un poco de gente que yo npi, yo no soy una persona que le gusta que su pareja este en ese peo, lamentablemente no lo soy, ya por ahi hay choque, tu veras como manejas eso o si simplemente, vas a hacer lo que te da la gana y ya.
Yo te lo hare saber si llegase a suceder el caso, pero eso de estar saliendo asi no que fulanax no que fulano, no vale que es eso, no existe.
Al menos no para mi, yo con mudarme a otra sitio tengo, con irme a otra ciudad y block y spam basta, no voy a vivir nervioso y pensando que capaz tienes otra persona todo el tiempo, no es sano, vamos a tener que nivelar eso, no voy a estar pagando un apartamento para que andes viva la vida con tus amigos y yo el propio guevon.
Jamas me casaria co tigo en estas cl diciones, simplemente es letra. Como todo en en esta vida, es circunstancial. Que se yo que has hecho tu estos dos meses, yo he estado aqui, en la sala detus papas, pero tu estabas sola viajando por toda colombia, que se yo que oaso en San andres, no senada, no quiero saber, ahora cuando llegues aqui todos los que te estan esperando van a empezar a eacribir, no me interesa, vivete tu pelicula pero no pienso sentirme mal por eso, as simply as that,
Nadie quiere vivir inseguro de que su pareja lo quiera o no, obviamente me quieres pero yo no veo de lejos y no me gusta ese peo que a ti te encanta.
Aqui voy a seguir haciendo dinero, hasta que las cosas se pongan a favor o hasta que se rompa esta mierda, este pais es inmenso. Y a mi me gusta amoverme.
Odio esto, este sentimiento de mierda, a pesar de que ha sido una de las mas bonitas relaciones, aun no termina de encajar, ush. Que mierda.
Al fin y al cabo todo se reduce a mama, papa y la cantidad de billete que tengas en el bolsillo.
Las mujeres son infinitas, i really dont care.
Fuck you, bye.
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humangerbil · 4 years
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I don’t post things like this on here. But this...this manages to capture my feelings on the world in about 9 minutes. Nine minutes to explain my exhaustion and anger. I cannot recommend it enough. Below are the lyrics, I transcribed them myself because Youtube did a shit job of it on the captions and censored out curse words. They might not be perfect. Please excuse any mistakes I may have made.
Cognitive Dissonance Blues by The Narcissist Cookbook
So I was in the supermarket the other day picking up Stock cubes for this vegetable curry that I survived on for most of 2020 An’ I, an’ I, an’ I Flipped them over to look at the ingredients on the back No idea why I should know what’s in them by now But as soon as I did I remembered Why I don’t do that anymore And I felt my mood just nosedive Because I realized I had forgotten Again About palm oil Which And I don’t intend to go on and on about it But which is used in fifty percent of all packaged products on the market It’s leading to mass deforestation in Malaysia and Indonesia Destroying the environments of endangered animals on a massive scale Et cetera Et cetera Et cetera You know the rest We all do I am tired of hearing about it to be honest
And I realized at that moment that I’d been actively putting that shit out of my head whenever I can Because To be honest to do otherwise Is to wander from aisle to aisle in a hollow daze Remembering that in the nineties Coca-Cola was hiring far-right paramilitary forces to assassinate trade union leaders in Colombia to keep their manufacturing costs as low as possible Remembering that Nestle’s CEO believes access to drinking water shouldn’t be a human right, as the drain and bottle billions of gallons of the world’s freely available water for resale It makes you tired, you know It makes you wonder “what’s the point” And so fuck it I pick up my Coke I pick up my Oreos I pick up my stock cubes And I put the truth away again for awhile Which every time I do it feels just a little bit more like a tacit nod of approval
Here’s a short horror story for you It is conceivable at least that the distant stars that inspired Jules Verne and Gene Roddenberry are orbited by planets that are intellectually empty No galaxy-spanning civilizations or glittering cities or Dyson Spheres  No one blinking back at us through alien telescopes wondering if they’re alone out here  Just us  Humanity  The smartest, wisest, kindest of all of the creatures in God’s deep blue infinity  And personally I am still trying to reconcile that possibility with the the aforementioned list of crimes we commit against ourselves  Our political systems that incentivise corruption  Healthcare systems that punish anyone guilty of being both sick and poor at once  And all of those things underpinned by a rusted, groaning economic system that can only function when lubricated with blood If there really is no one out there  No one smarter, or wiser, or kinder than us  If this  He says gesturing wildly at the entirely of existence  Really is as good as it gets Maybe this is an opportunity for us  Ya know  To do the humane thing for once  As a novelty  Do it quickly  Do it cleanly and together  Our first and last act as a truly global society to surge forward and embrace autoerotic euthanasia  Fill our coat pockets with gold bullion and walk hand in hand into the ocean singing kumba-fucking-ya
I’ve been hearing more and more of this disingenuous eco-fascist bullshit over the last few years And I understand it I understand the despair when we Mighty look upon our works But I am sick to the clogged gills of accepting fault for it Because the fact is we do not all share responsibility for this The vast majority of us are preoccupied with struggling to survive on a monthly if not weekly basis On wages barely high enough to keep us alive  Sometimes not even that high It is insulting to suggest that the average person has any influence Whatsoever Over the corpo-political incestual fuckfest that determines how the people of this planet ultimately coexist When the direction of society is influenced significantly less by who the majority elected to govern it than it is by who can afford to underwrite the biggest brutal lobbyist  When the only crime the megarich consistently serve time for is fucking the money up When in 2020 suddenly the empires of billionaires are expanding like wildfires  While hundreds of thousands of workers lost their homes, livelihoods  Sometimes even lives
And with this in mind Here’s an alternate short horror story for you The human race, I think, is fundamentally good At its root At its core A species gifted with, to varying degrees, a seemingly infinite imagination that has filled our libraries over the centuries with thirty million unique works of fiction An unprecedented capacity for tool use that took us from inventing the aeroplane to punting a person into space in less time than it takes a human being to reach retirement age We are Let us not forget The Mother of the Welfare State And penicillin And mid-nineties era Green Day This is us at our very very best But machine we are wired into without our consent It stretches us thin It wrings us dry Anything good Anything pure Anything that cannot justify its existence by pointing to a rise in share price is deemed ultimately unfit to survive Take the internet, for example In 1969, data was sent from a terminal at UCLA to a terminal at Stanford hundreds of miles away And lo Fifty years later the internet has single-handedly changed the world more dramatically than perhaps any invention in human history It should by all rights have been the Next Great Step on the path to a borderless society A global neural network allowing us to share art and science and philosophy instantaneously Allowing the ideas blooming in our collective consciousness to evolve at the speed of imagination rather than the speed of the postal service Instead though it became a mean to force feed each of us our own personal advertising campaign  Targeted with the precision of a Raytheon Maverick And if you think They have run out of ways to shock blast that wilderness with shit from corner to corner then strap in Because the internet as we have known it isn’t even likely to exist for much longer  Because the governments of the world have been twitching uncomfortably for years now as they realize how hard it is to control a populace Who have real time access to all the information about everything ever on a tiny computer that lives in their pocket We built this brilliant beautiful thing out of plastic and wire and it was deliberately and maliciously lobotomized by people that thought it gave the pack mules too much freedom  Too much power  And this is just one example in a list that seems to stretch on and on into forever like a Star Wars title crawl With new crimes against humanity being added so fast that no one could ever hope to read it all
And I am done sharing the blame for the state of this place with the fucking dragons Who have the resources to feed everyone Clothe everyone House and educate and heal everyone And who choose not to time and time again  Who actively and often violently push back attempts to beg for more pebbles from their mountain of wealth For example Did you know that Amazon workers frequently earn so little that they rely on government top-ups and overtime just to tread water above the poverty line While their CEO Jeff Bezos has so much fucking money that if you count it by one number every second, everyday, without sleep, it would take you over thirty years just to count up to the amount of money he has Oh no, wait a second, I misread that He actually has one hundred and eighty-five times that amount He has more money than the human mind is capable of imagining More than anyone could ever spend in multiple lifetimes And that’s just the money we know about Because remember in 2015 It was headline news across the world A global conspiracy by the financial elite to hide trillions of dollars in unreachable, illegal bank accounts in Panama  And what happened there Oh yeah The journalist who broke the story was assassinated in broad daylight with a fucking car bomb And the story just disappeared And I am standing here  In the supermarket Wondering whether I can forgive myself for buying a pack of stock cubes  That has fucking palm oil in it Fucking God dammit man
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lxnedigger · 5 years
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⅀ Simon xD
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     Simon Bolivar nació en caracas, se echo 3 peos y mato una vaca.
    Alzo mas faldas que cadenas de opresión, libero un montón de paises latinoamericanos con una panda de palurdos plataneros en guayaberas blancas y gorritos de paja y de paso descalzo, mientras le metía mano a quien pudiera, siempre cuidando de no dejar bendiciones por ahí.
     Conoció a la dueña de su harem cuando levanto la gran Colombia ( que no duro un coño ) cuando esta le salvo el culo literalmente tirándolo de la ventana, a ver si volaba el pendejo.
     Hizo mucho sure hit que mas tarde le paso factura y le dio gripe en el webo y se murió.
     Fin.
@stellar-fiore
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elmorenomichael · 6 years
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Aquí nos quedamos hasta que nono, hasta que nono, hasta que no nos saquen de este peo... 😂 Que le pondrías tu? #HastaQueNoNo ________________? . . #RatingMan #venezuela #Actor #comediante #cantante #singer #humor #top #viral #Miami #colombia #orlando #Peru #panama #republicadominicana #España https://www.instagram.com/p/BtCTnx0FmRs/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=f8jtmbzo3dw7
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venezolanaencrisis · 6 years
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hasta ahora quien a reconocido a guaido ?
USA, Canada, Puerto Rico, Francia, Argentina, Brasil, Colombia, Kosovo, Georgia, Panama, Paraguay, Peru, Chile , Costa Rica, la union europea esta en un peo porque hay paises que no saben que coño quiere digase España, Italia y otro pero Francia salio de una hace años
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solairesbday · 3 years
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Miamor, mi niño precioso, mi pendejo bomnito, mi mascota que comparto con Saki. Hoy, hace 19 años, llegó al mundo una de las personas más tiernas, de corazón más lindo y que, aunque no se lo crea el mismo, es de las personas más maravillosas que puede haber, qué es mas fuerte de lo que piensa y que es de los pocos vatos que no quiero patear y que me enorgullece muchísimo con respecto a la persona que es y que será (no te vuelvas más busca peo de lo que ya te volviste ctm), alguien por quien si me doy coñazos si me lo lastiman ya que ahí donde lo cen es un pan de Dios.
And, yes, I'm talking about ü, alguien sobre quien siempre le agradezco a la vida por habérmelo puesto en el camino de forma tan espontánea y de haber tenido la oportunidad de que seas mi amigo y mi partner, ya que no te merezco, solo tu te aguantas mi colgadez y mis pendejadas , y espero que siga siendo así por mucho tiempo, así como espero tener la oportunidad de celebrar muchos cumpleaños contigo además de este, no viajé hasta allá para que nos fuéramos en burro a Colombia y rumbear ahí pero ya otro año será, hoy me tomo una polarcita en tu nombre.
Pásala excelente bebé, disfruta mucho con tus seres queridos y diles que no te tumben la plata hoy, ahvdd, échate una respectiva pea como debe ser y come mucha torta, te mereces ese descansito, y sin más, te deseo un muy feliz cumpleaños, te amo muchísimo.
                                                                  Att: pescado crudo.  
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linhgd9 · 3 years
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The Worldwide Network Attached Storage (Nas) Device Industry is estimated to be Billion USD and Projected To Reach Billions of USD by 2026
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bbluesolera · 3 years
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Ayer tuvimos un agasajo del día del trabajador y coño no me puedo quejar, tuvimos una reunióncita con el personal de 4 tiendas, conversamos, comimos, bebimos, hicimos karaoke y a las 12 le cantamos el cumpleaños a mi compañero y coño fue un poco emotiva la cuestión porque recientemente toda su familia se había ido a Colombia por lo tanto estaba aquí solo , cuando empezamos a cantar ese hombre se fue a punta de lágrimas vale, dios mío no lloren al lado mío porque me pongo emotiva y me conmovió un poco que un chamo que siempre está de joda en joda, sonriendo, echando vaina lo vea llorar porque se sienta solo, lo tenía al lado y lo abracé junto con otra compañera y bueno papi eso a todos los venezolanos les pasa o les va a pasear, los que se van porque están solos en otro país y los que se quedan porque sus familiares y amigos se fueron y están aquí solos así que de ambos lados estáis jodio, la desgracia del venezolano chamo, maldito maduro y su gente maldita sea mil veces
La maravilla se mantuvo por ahí hasta las 12.30 de la noche que los muchachos deciden salir ac asa de un compañero a beber una cajita de cervezas, ay dios mío yo si hablo paja jajaajajajaja ojalá no lean esta verga pero me sentí demasiado ladillada, tenía ganas de salir pero no pa una casa donde ta sabía lo que se iba a hacer. Yo sé que con los muchachos la paso bien porque todos son chéveres y todos me caen bien pero yo ya sabía cuál iba a ser el tema predominante en esa reunión así que por eso fue estaba medio achantada, fui para no ser aguafiestas y coño también porque Valentín cumplía años pues y además porque yo siempre estoy trabajando, casi nunca salgo y merezco distracción y un momento diferente, lo merezco.
Bueno mrk el tema fue el sexo, sexo sexo y sexo y coño hablar de sexo aburre, eso que aburre Chamo, ok un rato o una vez pero en todas las salidas? Ay no.
Jugamos yo nunca nunca qué consiste en decir por ejemplo "yo nunca he cogido en un mall", si lo hiciste bebes y si no lo hiciste no bebes y todas las preguntas eran así, yo como el sexo que he tenido ha sido básico y normalito casi nunca tomaba pero en fin, la cuestión es que hacían preguntas muy específicas y a propósito tipo "yo nunca nunca me he querido cojer a uno de los que están aquí presente" y bebian los que se tienen ganas, vergas a propósito y ok está bien pues no es mi peo pero había tensión sexual jajaja panas cojan. Después empezaron y que Dick rating, pezones rating y ay no pana, quien a tu criterio debe tener los pezones mejor, quien coje mejor y quien coje peor, quienes hacían mejor parejita con quién y todos marica TODOS me pegaban con el chamo este que no me cae bien, hacían comentarios incómodos, no sean así vale, si ustedes ven que los comentarios incomodan no sigan más nada, coño en esa parte del grupo no me adapto, yo me considero normal y experimental con el sexo pero o sea me lo reservo pues, estaba muy callada total el tema de conversación se inclinaba a las otras chamas pues, yo soy aburridita así que solo me preguntaban para salir del paso y cumplir con la ronda. Si es por mi estuviera fuera del juego pero sería muy aguafiestas y marico si uno dice ay no no quiero jugar entonces la pavosa es uno entonces nah, los comentarios sexosos los reservo pa mí o con personas que les tenga full fulll confianza que se que no me van a juzgar, me gustaría conseguir un grupo de amigos con las cuáles pueda ser yo en plenitud en todos los ámbitos pero eso ahorita es difícil, no quiero salir más así cuando se que va a ser siempre la misma vaina
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rympresse · 4 years
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DESINTOX │ Cafouillage médiatique autour des hélicoptères Apache destinés au Maroc
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Plusieurs médias ont rapporté que des pilotes marocains se préparent à effectuer d’intenses entrainements sur l’hélicoptère AH-64 E dont les forces aériennes royales devraient être dotées dans un avenir proche. Selon ces sources, la formation devant durer de très longs mois est prévue sur une base américaine de l’Utah. En réalité, il y a eu confusion entre deux contrats distincts avec les Etats-Unis. Explications
À L’ORIGINE
Tout est parti d’une discussion lancée sur le forum FAR-Maroc, spécialisé dans la publication d’articles, de vidéos et d’images sur l’armée marocaine. Dans un sujet intitulé “24 (+12 en option) AH-64E Apache Helicopters for Morocco”, un internaute cite la page du Département de la Défense des États-Unis sur les contrats de vente d’armes effectués. La dernière en date est la livraison au Maroc de 36 hélicoptères Apache, d’une valeur de 4.25 milliards de dollars.
Un autre internaute poste alors, deux scans datant de 2006, issus d’un numéro du Utah National Guard Joint Magazine, qui rapporte la visite de membres des Forces Armées Royale à la base militaire de Salt Lake City. Il s’agit du Capitaine Saïd Oubkhane, du Capitaine EI Habib Selmani et du Sergent Major Hamid Idrissi. Sur le document illustré de photos, on lit que les trois militaires se familiarisent avec l’équipement de la Garde Nationale de l’Utah notamment leurs hélicoptères à haute altitude le Blackhawk et le vaisseau de combat AH-64 Apache. Cet évènement qui arrive dans le cadre d’un partenariat entre l'État de l’Utah et le Maroc, marquerait la naissance de l’intérêt de l’armée marocaine pour les hélicoptères de combat Apache.
La discussion sur le post du forum des FAR aborde plusieurs points concernant le contrat d’achat de 36 Apaches. On y débat de leurs spécificités, des radars de contrôle de tir Longbow dont ils seront munis, de la date de livraison des engins, mais aussi de la potentielle formation des pilotes, voire des techniciens des Forces Armées Royales. Quand un internaute poste une brochure des projets en cours du PEO STRI (Bureau exécutif du programme pour la simulation, la formation et l'instrumentation américain), la confusion s’installe.  
LES DÉTAILS
Très vite, cette information fait le tour des médias pour être la source d’articles du Collimateur, de North Africa Post et de Hespress. Il y est alors question d’une formation réalisée par « des instructeurs de l’US Air Force, via des techniques de simulation, avant de bénéficier d’entraînement sur le terrain, à l’État d’Utah, ouest des États-Unis ».
Hespress s’aventure même à citer le forum : « Ces exercices se poursuivront sur le terrain grâce à la collaboration existante entre la Royal Air Force et les forces de L'État de L'Utah pour former des pilotes et des techniciens pour l'une des équipes Apache ». Sur l’article de North Africa Post, la formation est toujours réalisée à Salt Lake City mais ne dure plus que 2 mois.
Après la publication de l’article d’Hespress, relayant la fake-news, une page Facebook auto-proclamée « page non-officielle des FAR » a republié la page de la brochure concernant la formation Aviation TESS en commentant : « Il s'agit d'un contrat de Support de 60 mois et l’information a été relayé il y a des mois, mais il semble que Hespress n'apprend la nouvelle que que maintenant». Le commentaire de la page suggère un contrat de 15 millions de dollars qui comprend, « le soutien et la durabilité des équipements, des services et des simulateurs pour la formation des pilotes de la Royal Air Force dans l'une des bases aériennes du Royaume. »
LES FAITS
Dans un article publié le 17 décembre 2020, sur la page du Département de la Défense des États-Unis, concernant les appels d’offres de l’armée américaine, on apprend que la firme L3 Technologies Inc., basée à Salt Lake City, (Utah), a obtenu un contrat de plus 29 millions de dollars pour livrer un matériel de type MUT (« man/unmanned teaming »), ainsi que pour le support technique et d'ingénierie, relatif aux hélicoptère Apache livrés notamment au Maroc.
Le terme « manned/unmanned teaming » ou MUT, désigne une technologie mise en service pour la première fois en 2009, qui consiste à combiner des forces gérées par l’homme, avec d’autres qui sont autonomes, comme des drones avancés, pour démultiplier la puissance de défense, ou d’attaque des machines. Le Maroc gagne en densité technologique et s’ajoute alors l’aspect d’inter-opérabilité avec des drones et autres systèmes de reconnaissance.
Les travaux relatifs au contrat décroché par L3 Technologies, s’effectueront à Salt Lake City (Utah), et devraient s'achever le 30 juin 2023. On apprend également que les appels d'offres pour ce contrat ont été lancés par Internet et concerne en plus du Maroc, des livraisons à l’étranger, pour les Pays-Bas, Qatar, Émirats arabes unis et le Royaume-Uni.
En septembre dernier, un contrat a été signé avec Longbow Limited, une filiale de Lockheed Martin d’une valeur de 164.6 millions de dollars pour équiper les hélicoptères Apache d’unités radar de contrôle de tir. Aussi, accompagnant la livraison des 36 hélicoptères Apache, la firme DigiFlight basée à Colombia avait obtenu en Mai dernier un contrat de près de 18.2 millions de dollars pour « des services de soutien programmatique», avait annoncé le Pentagon en mai dernier.
En novembre 2019, l’agence américaine chargée des exportations d’équipements militaires américains avait recommandé au Congrès d’autoriser la vente de 36 hélicoptères d’attaque AH-64E Apache au Maroc, pour un montant potentiel de 4,25 milliards de dollars. Outre la livraison des appareils, cette somme couvrait également la fourniture aux Forces royales Air marocaines de 79 moteurs T700-GE-701D, 36 capteurs d’acquisition de cible AN/ASQ-170, des systèmes de vision nocturne, des dispositifs d’auto-protection et plus de 600 missiles air-sol Hellfire.
Un peu plus de six mois plus tard, Boeing a annoncé avoir signé, dans le cadre du dispositif FMS, un contrat portant sur livraison au Maroc de 24 nouveaux AH-64E Apach, (avec une option pour 12 unités supplémentaires), et 79 moteurs T700-GE-701D (72 installés et 6 de rechange) en plus de plusieurs autres équipements. « Il s’agit d’une nouvelle étape dans notre long partenariat avec le Royaume du Maroc », a commenté Jeff Shockey, un haut responsable de l’industriel américain. « La demande mondiale concernant le modèle ‘Apache’ augmente et nous sommes fiers de fournir cette capacité de pointe au Maroc », a-t-il ajouté.
Un article de Defense world publié en juin 2020, informe que suite au contrat Boeing, « l'Agence américaine de coopération en matière de sécurité de défense (DSCA) a donné son feu vert en novembre dernier à un accord Marocain de 4.25 milliards de dollars comprenant 39 kits “manned-unmanned teaming” missiles air-sol ». « Le kit permettrait à un pilote Apache de contrôler les opérations et de recevoir le flux vidéo d'un drone à proximité, faisant des Apaches Marocains l'un des plus meurtriers en dehors des États-Unis. », ajoute le site spécialisé.
D’ailleurs, en juillet dernier, Maghreb Intelligence titrait « L’Espagne s’inquiète de l’acquisition par le Maroc de l’hélicoptère Apache AH-64E Guardian ». Le média rapportait alors, que « La version livrée au Maroc constitue la dernière variante de l’Apache AH-64E et dispose d’un radar AN/APG-78 Longbow, du panier de visée AN/ASQ-170. »
D’autre part, « l’Apache marocain pourra tirer des missiles Hellfire à guidage laser ou radar, des roquettes APKWS (Hydra), de missiles air-air Stinger et du canon de 30mm M230E1 guidé par le casque du tireur. » Mais la grande nouveauté et la force de ces vaisseaux, réside dans le fait qu’ils disposent d’un système de contrôle de drones MUM-T, qui permet de communiquer et guider des drones afin d’augmenter les capacités de reconnaissance de l’appareil.
On sait déjà que l’armée marocaine possède quatre MQ-1 Predator téléguidés dans son inventaire, qui s’y sont ajoutés en mars dernier, trois drones de combat Harfang achetés à la France. Plus récemment, en décembre dernier, l’armée marocaine a réalisé une acquisition de 4 drones MQ-9B SeaGuardian, en marge de de l’accord tripartite avec les États-Unis et Israël, élevant le Maroc au rang de puissance régionale.
VERDICT
Ce cafouillage médiatique est dû à la confusion faite entre le contrat de L3 Technologie basé à Salt Lake City, pour la livraison de matériel de type MUT, de plus de 29 millions dollars et le contrat de l’armée marocaine relatif au programme de formation Aviation TESS de PEO STRI, d’une durée de 60 mois et d’une valeur de 15 millions de dollars.
La récente acquisition par l’armée marocaine de drones Sea Guardian est vraisemblablement liée à l’achat des hélicoptères Apache suréquipés et surtout munis d’une technologie MUM-T. En plus du contrat pour la formation Aviation TESS, le Maroc a également signé avec les américains de PEO STRI, un contrat intitulé JTLS-GO, « Joint Theater Level Simulation Global Operations », pour les simulations d’opérations de combat, l’installation du logiciel simulateur, la formation au traitement de base de données militaires et la maintenance du logiciel de simulation. Ce programme devrait durer 36 mois et a coûté 2.1 millions de dollars
À ce jour, nous n’avons aucune information officielle corroborant la thèse d’une formation spécialisée sur les hélicoptères Apache AH-64E. Nous savons que depuis plusieurs mois, les FAR suivent une formation Aviation TESS délivrée dans le cadre des programmes internationaux de l'armée américaine pour la simulation la formation et l'instrumentation.
Pour rappel, les premiers AH-64E Apache livrés aux Forces royales Air marocaines à l’horizon 2025, feront du Maroc le 17e pays à en être doté et le second en Afrique, après l’Égypte.
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soyeduardohurtado · 4 years
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La guerra asimétrica o de cuarta generación es la que aplica #lafranquiciacubana en su plan de Dictadura Científica, los grupos de insurgentes creando caos y generando crisis es realizado en los estados o ciudades donde poseen un control político que jamás les va a poner barreras en sus acciones de terrorismo doméstico. Ellos saben donde y cómo actuar, saben reclutar y entrenar a sus células que permanecen pasivas hasta que las necesitan para así ir cubriendo territorios alternos en peo del comunismo. . Ponte las pilas #colombia que ya no es de preguntase si pasara o no lo mismo que en #Venezuela , la pregunta es cuando pasara, el presupuesto y la logística que invierten estos grupos subversivos no se debe desestimar. . @soyeduardohurtado (at Bogotá, Colombia) https://www.instagram.com/p/CFe9bDvg1iX/?igshid=914fpex8hxd3
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roizcriteriodigital · 5 years
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Muere el joven que recibió un disparo durante las manifestaciones en Colombia
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NOTICIERO CRITERIO: ES MUY LAMENTABLE Y CONDENABLE EL ASESINATO DE ÉSTE JÓVEN CON APENAS 18 AÑOS DE EDAD, NO DEBE HABER NI UN MUERTO, PERO EN NICARAGUA ORTEGA Y MURILLO HAN ASESINADO EN SU CRIMINAL DICTADURA CON VENTAJA Y ALEVOSÍA Y PLANEADO A MAS DE 500 NICARAGÚENSES QUE PROTESTABAN CÍVICAMENTE CONTRA LA DICTADURA LA MAYORÍA JÓVENES ESTUDIANTES UNIVERSITARIOS Y UN MENOR DE EDAD QUE SE IVA A BACHILLERAR ESTE AÑO: ALVARITO CONRRADO, PEO ADEMÁS NIÑOS BEBÉS BALEADOS Y QUEMADOS VIVOS,  QUÉ DICEN DE ESTO LOS MEDIOS INTERNACIONALES DEL MUNDO? LEER MAS https://elpais.com/internacional/2019/11/26/colombia/1574742290_433216.html
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cifrasonlinecomve · 5 years
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Tuitazo: Miguel Bosé persigue a la Bachelet en México para prenderle un PEO (Protesta Estratégica Organizada) Desde que se realizó el concierto Venezuela Aid Live en la frontera con Colombia, el artista español ha insistido con la necesidad de que la Alta Comisionada visite ese país.
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godbort · 7 years
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Quiero ser un #chacmool Alguien ha visto el video donde digo que quiero ser mexicano ? No saben lo feliz que me hace México. Hernán Cortés no pudo, ni las enfermedades. aquí sigue vivo todo a flor de piel en sus comidas y tradiciones la mejor resistencia del mundo un puro rio un flow que si tu me dejas navegar contigo bebita podría sentir que tenemos nuestro castillo de agua y destinos. No sé que nos depare el destino pero soy en ti. Te robo lo tuyo. Odio que sea un insulto decir maya para algunos porque maya para mí es como decir realidad, como decir"ahora" México está vivo en sus gentes (amo decir gentes 😭) y tiene todamagia, más resistencia (ni peo) México en su meñique , en su dios de haber sido golpeado por un asteroide, por el desequilibrio de civilizaciones , por la delicada línea que permite descansar a los murciélagos polinizadores y a los muertos🦋 su viaje. El mundo es un cántaro barrigón que mantiene el agua fría y misteriosa desde que un asteroide la inseminó en este planeta. Y en su cinturón más misterioso está México y por encargados de esa magia tiene la dinastía de personas como kei mi bebita mi reina. Lo que yo he visto en ti es esto. El agua de Dios. Y me siento tan vacío tan nada en el buen sentido cuando estoy reflejado con tu reflejo nuestro en tus ojos que siento que nadie es más dueño de este sueño. La realidad. Como dicen en la india: maya. La realidad ya. No sé si haya personas en el mundo con lo que tú tienes pero si las hay no puedo creerlo. Porque ya estoy clavado a ti como un clavo de nueve pulgadas a tu mano y tú sangre está clavada en mi alma como si fuera yo un payaso poeta destinado a no poder usar mis manos. Pero lo hago por este siglo de manos que nos separa. Estos kilómetros. Colombia es una nación de senderos hacia el norte. Una gota cae en el eje X y subiría al norte como si la tierra estuviera inclinada hacia el cielo. Mis tres pirámides de la lluvia ansían las tres tuyas de tierra y cielo. Quiero ser un vaso de este mundo vacío y sin nada de ser chingon o egoísmo. Solo para recibir lo que me quieras dar amor. Eres mi amor Depronto yo solo esté en un momento de tu vida pero tu estás en la mía siempre.Eres amor real.voy!
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