#PCOS messes up your hormones in weird ways and you can do everything right and it's still not gonna let you live your life

[glitter-and-be-gay]

Having unreliable hunger signals is so frustrating. Trying to eat like a normal person results in either being ravenous at 1am, or extremely full from 4pm-10pm. I shouldn't have to weigh my food and log it in order to know if I've eaten enough/too much, but here we are

[binglesbanglesbabies]

Pcos, an ovarian mass and laparoscopic surgery Part 2, operation to 4 weeks after

Part 2

I wasn’t asked to do anything special pre-surgery to make the surgery any easier, except no eating/drinking after midnight.  I still went ahead and ate lightly the day before, tried to keep it to mostly liquids so that my bowels would be smaller and more out of the way, but again, it wasn’t necessary, just what I felt would be better.

The surgery: Jan 28th

I had read so many accounts I was horrified that the laparoscopic removal would fail and I would need to be cut open hip to hip. Of course they had to have someone there to drive you home, so I brought my mother and step-father.  The pre-surgery was the same for anything else, height and weight asked/checked.  They did an ekg to check my heart was ok for surgery, ran through the 100 odd questions of allergies, a urine test to make sure I wasn’t pregnant, pertinent medical info, yada, yada, placed an iv.  Asked me if I had stomach upset/acid reflux (I do/did) so they gave me some iv pepto (their words not mine lol). Surgeon came in to “pep talk” us through the procedure. Then the interminable wait to be wheeled in to surgery.  On the way, I was stopped at a nursing station for the anesthesiologist to give me a shot (he told me what it was for, I’m sorry, it’s a blur now). In the surgical suite they literally wrapped my upper torso up like a burrito.  They told me it was to keep me warm, but I can almost guarantee it was to keep me from twitching and messing with the machinery while they were messing around in my abdomen.  Anesthetic and a few deep breaths later I was being wheeled back into my room post-surgery.

Here things get SUPER foggy.  I don’t remember much but feeling rushed out of the hospital.  It probably took a LOT longer than I feel like it did, but I was literally falling asleep on myself the whole time, so big chunks of time are missing during this period.  I barely remember getting dressed, except I had to have my mother help me, because I couldn’t bend over to put my pants and shoes on. This is one of the first times I have EVER been super happy they had a wheelchair for me, because I never would have made it out otherwise.  They warned me I may bleed, because whenever you mess with the reproductive system, it tends to kick up a fuss.  There may also be pain in your upper arms and back if any gas is not removed.  I had none.  My obgyn said if this happens, try to lay on an incline with your feet elevated, head down, to move the gas away from the diaphragm, which causes the pain.  But again, I got lucky, I had none.  And yes, they did shave my abdomen, sorry guys whoever did it, blame the pcos for the hair!

What they do during this surgery is make a few small incisions in your abdomen (for me it was three), one in the upper end of my belly button, one on each side of my abdomen, several inches above the hip.  They blow air into your abdomen to expand it so they have room to move around and then use a machine with small arms and rods with cameras and surgical tools to operate inside of you so they don’t have to cut you open too far.  It’s much less invasive and patients heal faster.  In my case they also took samples of the fluid filling the mass before removal and tissue samples of the mass, ovary, etc to check for cancer (came back negative).  They also took a look at the left ovary, it’s pretty bad, I have the pics to prove it.

For the rest of the day after surgery I was in very little pain.  My stomach was extremely shrunken in from the compression caused by the air.  I’ve never been that skinny and probably won’t again lol.  The incisions were covered in surgical glue.  I slept off and on most of the day, trying to get over the anesthetic.  The next day is when the pain kicked in.  Woah buddy.  I was heavily bruising, the swelling began, I was incapable of bending, pulling/pushing, taking a deep breath, laughing, coughing, sneezing.  You’d be surprised how much you use your abdominal muscles, whew!  I did not have any bleeding until I was using the bathroom, twisted to get the toilet paper (bad mistake!) heard/felt a tiny pop internally and then woosh, it started.  It was scary/bad enough I almost called the obgyn, but the paperwork assured me bleeding was normal, and I wasn’t bleeding enough according to the paperwork to call, so I gave it a day, and it did get lighter and lighter over the next few days and stopped.

In addition to the pain from the actual surgery site(s) my uterus decided to go into panic mode and cramp like hell for about a week.  I have NEVER been more glad for narcotics.  I took those for about 2 weeks before going back to the motrin I had been on for kidney stone pain.

What I was NOT prepared for was the sudden smack-down by my emotions.  I swear my hormones were in crazy flux. By week 2 I was crying over stupid things, moody, angry, it took about a week for all of that to clear up, ugh.  Still don’t know if that was because of the ovary removal, or because of pcos. I went through everything from crying they wouldn’t take my left ovary, to crying that it was necessary to have the right removed (which logically I know is ridiculous, because I don’t want kids (re: hereditary fun stuff I’d rather not pass on, also being ace plays into that, but that’s another story for another time).  Also, having to sit and sleep in awkward positions was horrible.  Made my back ache.  Sitting up is murder after having an ovary removed because it causes groin pain.  Laying flat all the time causes your back to ache.  I found a semi-reclined position that I sat in for over two weeks that worked for me, but my best advice is: use pillows, get creative.

Also, constipation is a thing. Your bowels will need some time to decompress, laxatives help.

Expect weird random twinges of pain. It's caused supposedly by your nerves healing. It's a thing. It's ridiculous.

Here’s some SUPER IMPORTANT information.  GIVE YOURSELF TIME TO HEAL.

I was so expecting to jump up and get gong a few days after surgery.  The first week I mostly slept.  It took me at least 2 weeks to start feeling better.  3 weeks to feel almost normal.  Over 4 weeks now and I still have pain in my groin if I sit too long.  Turning/twisting still pulls in my right side and groin and surgery sites.  Bending is STILL hard, bending to pick something up: PLEASE be careful.  Still not attempting to pick up heavy stuff.  Squatting is a little easier, but not ideal.  I still find engaging my core (abdominal muscles) to push/pull/pick up heavy items is still a challenge, and will cause squeals of pain from my surgery sites.  My abdomen swelled quite large, especially around the incisions.  Conversely, where they removed the mass sunk in.  My stomach is only now starting to “deflate”, so slowly.  For a week after surgery, I didn’t eat much, then I was ravenously hungry for about 2 weeks.  Externally the glue started to fall off almost a week after surgery.  The incisions weren’t even healed yet, caused me to get quite worried, but at the post op visit with the obgyn, she assured me this was normal, and they’d close over time.  The did leak, and were filled with white granulomas (white blood cells) which looks like pus, but isn’t.  The middle one’s glue popped and bled, filling my belly button with blood, but the glue still hasn’t entirely broken loose on that one, though by week 2 the other surgical glue had fallen off.  Check with your surgeon if you’re worried, but again, this all seems normal at this point.   At 4 weeks , the incisions are still not entirely closed up.  I have been covering them with bandages to help keep out bacteria and minimize rubbing from clothing.

PAJAMA BOTTOMS ARE YOUR FRIEND.  Also elastic waistbands.  It took me over 3 weeks to even try on a pair of jeans, and they still have the tendency to rub right across those incisions and the button to poke the incision in my belly button: not fun.  Today was the first day I didn’t feel discomfort wearing jeans while standing, sitting on the other hand...

I was also not prepared for the general weakness.  Without engaging your core, your limb strength just does’t cut it, lol.

AGAIN GIVE YOURSELF TIME TO HEAL.

Walking helps.  Seriously.  Don’t do like I did and try the whole 30 mins thing 2 weeks out of surgery.  Try 10 mins at a stretch after a couple weeks.  Then, walk 2 10 minute stretches during the course of the day.  Then 3 10 minute stretches or increase the time in the other split portions. If you feel pain, stop, don’t push yourself because you want to get better all at once.  I’m still not 100% back to normal activity, and I read it can take up to 12 weeks to be to that stage.

Tips/tricks to prepare:

If you have pets/children: if you can afford it, make sure you have a supply on hand for at least 3-4 weeks of food, litter, whatever.  Anything heavy you may need to lift is going to be impossible, especially if you don’t have help.

Try to see if you can get someone to help you if possible.  Trying to walk your dog or clean litter boxes, or care for small children is going to be very difficult for a while.

Be prepared to not be able to lift very heavy things, push/pull open heavy doors.  My discharge paperwork said not to even lift a full gallon of milk/water, and trust me, for the first week or two, it just ain’t happenin’

Listen to your body.  It will tell you when to stop.

Buy some laxatives for post-surgery constipation.

Buy some pads/panty liners for post-surgery bleeding.

Get your laundry done before surgery, you’re not going to want to do it for a while.  Wash small loads after surgery, laundry is heavy, don’t strain yourself.

Rest.

Buy some meals you don’t have to cook (think something you can slap in the microwave or oven for a few minutes and be done, or sandwich material, cereals, etc.) Standing up and cooking is going to be difficult for a while.

Be prepared to have family members (especially the males), act like you should be over it in no time. Especially with “3 tiny cuts”.  They don’t understand that there’s a lot of complicated healing going on below the surface that can’t be seen, not that that’s any excuse for being an unsupportive douche.

Just don’t push yourself to be better all at once, even if family/friends insist you should be “over it by now”.  There’s a mini tornado of healing happening inside you, let it do what it needs to.