#Oz gives advice

[marcsnuffy]

Using Lorenzo and Charles' interviews as reference, I'd love to see any assumptions of what Kaiser and Ness would answer here

[taniushka12]

watching oz season 2 like yeah i want keller and beecher to fuck, but god at what cost

[flovverworks]

the way akira always thinks a bit Too much about what other people Probably are feeling and it not being correct all the time, but akiras always so concerned for others and doesnt want them to be alone. <-person whos finally reading spot stories after a year and a half

LIKE ive been over it before. but akira going after oz cuz "i cant leave him alone😢 even tho hes lived so long even he surely gets upset or sad over wrong rumors" only for oz to say uhhh no & then try to comfort akira in Return?!?!?!? whicj ALSO is such a thing. "ill forget ur name one day" <-person who has multiple times told akira to not lose their name LIKE R U FR RN!!!!!! when u wanna comfort ur friend but ure the one feeling lonely instead because u realize that ure barely gonna be in their life, but they are important in urs and the ancient wizard in front of u wonders why ure the one looking upset cuz he meant to comfort u. LIKKEEEEEE oz n akira are so much to me

[just-a-ghost00]

What you should know about them

Think of a person that you would like to enquire about before picking your group. It can be romantic or platonic.

Group 1 🐚 

Overall energy represented by the Fool | Spread : 6 of cups, 6 of pentacles, Justice, 5 of wands, King of wands, 3 of pentacles

This person has a child, possibly a son. Their life is taking a radical U-turn. They are starting anew. This could mean they are either divorcing or moving away from a situation / a job that caused conflicts in their life. They are looking for balance and a sense of peace because their life was chaotic up until now. The presence of their child and their wellbeing is also a major factor in their decisions. There were a lot of conflicts in their household regarding their job. Maybe this person was too ambitious and not open enough to learning and listening to people's advice. Maybe their responsibilities clouded their vision to the point where they were disregarding their reponsibilities as a partner and a parent. It could also be they had an affair with a younger person or at least they admitted to having their eyes set on another person. Because on the cards, the king of wands is depicted looking at the left while he's kinda throwing fire at the right. On the left of this king of wands is the 5 of wands, showing a young woman being cornered by four other people. She looks modest but strong in her power, even when acculated by more influential people. On the right of the king is the 3 of pentacles, picturing some kind of nun. The nun looks kinda sad. She is contemplating and her heart is guarded by her crossed hands. As if she were saying : "Lord why did it have to come to this?" It's like the king wants to rescue the 5 of wands person while he's potentially hurting the 3 of pentacles person. This is very specific and may not resonate with everyone.

If this isn't the case of your person, it could be that they are feeling triggered and cornered by other people and they have a hard time moving on. Instead of being the bigger person and not giving them any more attention, they dwell on what happened and try to wrap their mind around ways they can work this out, hoping they could change them. This person is longing for meaningful connections where they don't have to fight or overgive to be respected and cared for, to receive love and acceptance. They are tired of fighting for bread crumbs and they intend on getting retribution for the wrong that has been done to them. This person could be a soulmate of yours. You are bonded by karma and divine justice. They bring balance in exchange and wealth, as well as reciprocated love. Their presence in your life is a retribution for all the hard times you went through. You may be wary of them at first and try to resist the attraction you feel for them. But with time, you'll learn to see them for who they are and work together towards a new journey without fear of being judged or deceived. This energy feels very similar to group 3 so you may want to check that as well.

Letters : T N I D V S I O Z D I E T E Words/signs/names : division, divide, vision, tides, vines, zones, iode, ions, veins, tied, Dion, soviet, diet, dine, tones, dives, zen, Sonie, son, NOV(ember), Ted, sin, void, OVNI (UFO), Dio, TV, zionist, edits, tense, videos, visio, Oz, TNT, DVDs, seize, Vinted

Group 2 🎐

Overall energy represented by 7 of pentacles | Spread : queen of cups, hierophant, page of swords, king of cups, emperor, fool

The person you're thinking about could be your FS and/or divine counter part. If you're in a relationship with them or you intend to be, there could be jealousy around the relationship coming from a father figure. The connection between you needs time to progress but a good outcome can be expected. A new phase in the relationship is taking place. This could be them taking it to the next level by offering commitment or moving in with you. Your relationship could be work related. This person is very grounded and nurturing. They have a sweet and reliable energy that makes people feel super safe and protected. They are a good communicator and don't have issues with voicing out their needs, their worries, their feelings. For some of you this person could be religious. For some this person likes to have a lot of fun and do a lot of outdoor activites. They like to work out. I'm getting a very masculine energy from this person. As a child, they may have delt with toxic masculinity and controlling parents, especially their dad. I'm really getting this person potentially proposing to you. Cause the Hierophant combined with the page of swords makes me think of legal matters surrounding commitment. So they could be filing a paper to officially recognize you as their "wife"/"husband", or at least someone they are "tied to" according to the law. I feel like this is very important for them. Like this person was not fully into the relationship because that important step wasn't reached. I mean, this would be logical knowing they are potentially religious. They were waiting for engagement to fully embrace the connection you have.

I asked spirit for more information as I wasn't getting much from the initial spread. The cards were the Hierophant again combined with the Star and the 3 of pentacles. So I'm getting that for some of you the relationship wasn't official. It wasn't even publically known that this person liked you on a romantic level to the point of wanting to marry you. They even hid it from their family, maybe because of cultural differences or because you were from different social backgrounds. For some I'm even getting your person is an important public figure. They couldn't tell people they had the intention of marrying you because they would have gotten backlash about it. But they're tired of hiding what they feel and they want to be able to work on this relationship without shame nor fear. They want to do right by you, in the name of the law and the name of their spiritual beliefs. So they want to make it public. They want to close the distance between you. I'm also getting a message of this connection being a protection for you. A protection from a rigid father figure or from masculines in general. It's like this person wants to "claim" that you are theirs because they just can't stand anymore the though of you being courted by other people.

Letters : B G E R A R S B L I T E N I words/signs/names : Nile, Blaise, Argent, bites, raise, arts, breast, genie, girls, Line, Lina, real, siren, gears, bears, big, lasting, Italie (Italy), Brésil (Brazil), trains, Real (as in Real Madrid), Neil, rentals, Bergen, Iran, star, stranger, liars, brags, listen, bars, blasting, Berlin, Nial, anis, teens, trials, brats, barbers, grabs, gelatine

Group 3 🌊

Overall energy 6 of cups | Spread : Tower, 8 of wands, The Lovers, page of cups, King of swords, Queen of swords

This person is a soulmate. They have divine counterpart potential. There was jealousy surrounding this person's relationship in the past, a lot of gossip that possibly lead to a major shift in their life. Possibly a breakup/divorce. There were a lot of interferences, a lot of heat. They couldn't see clear anymore. So a choice has been made by this person to move on from their toxic environment. They could have met you in the process of moving away from this relationship and they decided to give your connection a chance. They like you more than just a little. Yet, they may be scared of what they feel so they could be somewhat reluctant to make a move. At the same time, they want to come forward quickly and tell you what's on their heart. There's a lot of conflicting energy surrounding this person.

What's positive in this situation is that they view you as their equal. They're aware of what you can bring to the table and their feelings are genuine. I don't sense any ill will coming from this person. But rather a lot of affection and a strong desire to protect. They are evolving quickly. After the shift in their personal life, a lot of things have happened to them at a fast pace. Maybe they quickly found a new home if they were looking to relocate. Maybe it was about job offers or just finding a new person (aka you). They quickly moved on from whatever trouble they were facing before. They are not the type to dwell on a situation if they know they did their part and there is nothing more they can do. Even more when they know what they want. They may not be sure about what they hope for with you, but they know for certain they want to get closer and get to know you better. I feel for this group your meeting with this person is quite recent. Either that or they recently developed feelings for you which weren't there before.

I felt the need to ask for clarification about the gossip surrounding their relationship. The card are : 2 of wands, High Priestess, 3 of pentacles. People were doubting this person's loyalty toward their partner because they were not being transparent about what they were working on. They were elusive about their projects, their job. People may have found suspicious that they spent more time at work away from their partner (and possibly kids) instead of being home with the ones they loved. When all this person was doing was just to try to protect their loved ones from their work struggles. For others, it could have been that they were accused of having an affair with a coworker. I'm getting this person's job requires to travel a lot, especially abroad. People were suggesting to their partner that they had a double life, that they found another person in a foreign country with whom they were cheating on their partner. In reality, people were wrongly assuming your person's intents. They have a very different conception of relationships than what most people think. If for others love for a partner should be shown by spending quality time with them and constantly being present for them, they like to show appreciation for their partner by trusting them enough to leave them be and have their free space. This person doesn't feel the need to know and control everything about their partner. They don't feel the need to be constantly tied to their loved ones. They like to have their own little bubble and they allow the same for their partner. They instead show love by supporting their person's independence, giving words of affirmation, providing a different point of view on life, taking care of their health by doing acts of services. For instance, they are definitely the type to work extra hours to provide for their family so that their partner doesn't have to and can enjoy more free time. They have been wrongly judged. You might want to check group 1.

Letters : M V I C A K M O T E S S R words/signs/names : Kassim, cakes, cars, moms, VISA, raise, crest, tears, Sommer (summer), Kaiser, sister, socks, cream, voice, cries, Moris, Cris, mess, Messi, Roma, mics, east, tram, Vimeo, Cameo, cams, treks, tracks

[bidisasterevankinard]

Tease tidbit Tuesday

Tagged by @diazsdimples

Had this idea last week. I hope to write it soon as it's little idea, but it's me and it's uni time so. Anyway fic that for now is called Tommy doesn't want kids(or does he?):

“You know pout and look at your coffee cup won't help make your coffee taste better,” Josh smirks at him when he enters the restroom but then changes his expression to a more serious one. “Relationship problems?”

Buck just shrugs. It's not a problem, they are not fighting, but his heart and brain work too much.

“Wanna share? I'm a great listener. Helping people with their problems is my job.”

“Tommy and I had a talk about the future. He mentioned his deal breaker and…,” Buck sighs tugging his curls. “If it be anyone else I know I would say his deal breaker is opposite to mine and we're not going to last, but…”

“But you didn't,” Josh ends for him and Buck just nods.

“Why?”

"Because… because I want to be with him and now I'm not sure what I want more: Tommy or having kids. I don't want to lose Tommy. But I'm so sad because I want kids, especially after I was a donor and I-I don't know how to choose. I love Tommy so much, but I'm not sure if I love him more than giving up this dream."

"You need to think about it a lot, Buck. Make sure you won't change your mind in 2 years”

“I know. That's why I came to see Maddie.”

“Can I say one thing?”

“Yeah.”

“Imagine yourself in ten years. In two situations. One you have kids but no Tommy,” Buck's heart cries in pain and he can't even really picture this. Only two little kids with blue eyes but they have Tommy's electric blue, not his baby blue iris. “Now imagine yourself in ten years married to Tommy,” and Buck does.

He pictures dinners with wine, laughs and dances to their playlist of songs that they love. He pictures the backyard full of flowers, berries and trees that they put there. He pictures the dog they would get. Maybe even two. He pictures smiles when they wake up together with Tommy kissing him till he can't breathe but ready to give up air. He pictures himself happy, even though he doesn't have everything he dreamt about, he has Tommy and…

Oh. I guess it is. My secret to happiness.

It's Tommy.

“I think your face told me anything I need to know about your choice.”

“Yeah, I'm sure it did,” Buck smiles. “I'm still a little sad. I had a whole list of names that go good with Kinard and Buckley-Kinard.”

Josh chuckles. “Oh, I'm sure you did. And I think it would hurt. Some days more than others, but if Tommy is more important for you, you can do it.”

“Yeah. Not every dream comes true. But I don't want to let Tommy go away.”

Josh smiles at him, “Can I give you another piece of advice?”

“Please, you're really good,” Buck smiles at his friend.

“Tell Tommy about how it was a deal breaker for you. He needs to know. Don't hide it from him.”

Buck nods.

Tagging @wikiangela @hippolotamus @theotherbuckley @bewilderedbuckley @queerbuck @queerdiaz @repressedqueen @racerchix21 @pirrusstuff @powersuitup @monsterrae1 @saybiwithme @evanbi-ckley @epiphainie @typicalopposite @tommybuckleykinard @devirnis @lavenderleahy @leashybebes @bigfootsmom @cliophilyra @cal-daisies-and-briars @watchyourbuck @peppermintquartz @ohithankyou @honestlyeddie-im-bi @honestlydarkprincess @half-oz-eddie @hyperfocusthusly @visioninacone @bi-buckrights

and anyone who wants to

[book--wyrm]

I do love that Eve is like. The ultimate refutation of the way Oz chases his Rex Calabrese fantasy.

Because in a way, Eve really is the perfect recipient of this dynamic. She knows Oz and all his flaws so well—she knows he's a selfish, lying, backstabbing killer, she knows that he's fundamentally kind of an asshole, she knows that he is at minimum about 60% bullshit by volume at any given moment.

But she accepts him and his help, and offers her aid and advice in return, as little as he listens to it. She doesn't judge him, even defending him to Sofia after their breakup (we all got our shit, don't we?). She loves him, in her own way, enough to push back when Sofia derides the idea. She is loyal to him.

I cannot emphasize that last part enough. She is loyal to him. During her meeting with Sofia, Eve was fully, totally, a hundred percent prepared to take his location to her grave. She didn't choose not to go with him to save her own life, she chose not to go because she needed to stay to protect her girls.

And realistically that's really the best case scenario for the Rex fantasy, right? To be seen and known for all your scummy deeds and dark, vicious nature, and yet be loved and respected as a protector all the same? Maybe Eve wouldn't throw a parade for him if he died, but she'd pour one out for him with the girls and remember him fondly. We ate when he ate. He was a nasty sonuvabitch but he was ours.

And then.

Sofia comes. And all she has to do is tell the truth.

And the whole thing comes crumbling down.

Because Oz was never, and could never be the kind of man who deserves that respect and loyalty. Because it's only "we got each other's backs and don't screw each other over" as long as its convenient for him. Because Oz will do anything to have that Rex reputation, including undermining its very foundations.

Oz loved Eve, in his own way. Besides his mom and vic, Eve is the person he cares about the most. But he doesn't respect her. He doesn't value her priorities, only the affection she gives to him. So he screws over her girls, and hides it for a decade, and doesn't think a second about it because ultimately, he doesn't want to protect the people, he wants to be loved as a protector.

And once Eve, the person he has been the most Rex-like with for god knows how long, learns how deep the rot runs? She turns her back on him. Because as much as Oz wants to be loved like Rex, he can't help being anyone but The Penguin.

I also have to say, I absolutely adore that the person who does genuinely come closest to the fantasy Rex that realistically could never exist isn't Sofia—it's Eve herself.

For Oz, I eat you eat means sharing scraps off his plate with the people who fill it. For Eve, it means sharing in their meals. And when needed, sharing in the danger.

I think a worse, less thoughtful show would only really contrast Oz with his major rival, giving her the virtues he lacks and vice versa. And I have seen some reviewers and reactors talk as if like, Sofia sparing Eve earned her Eve's loyalty or something. Like Eve is switching from one mafia boss to another.

Nothing about that scene reads that way to me. Eve doesn't share Oz's location out of loyalty, or gratefulness. She doesn't owe anything to Sofia for not shooting her.

She tells Sofia because she gets it, gets how deeply Oz has fucked Sofia over. She tells her out of kindness, out of empathy, out of understanding.

And that is why she earns the Rex reputation, and Oz only borrows it.

[iceberg-lounge-waitress]

How would Oz feel about an S/O with piercings? Spikes and all?

ask form 2022 and honestly at the time i had no idea how to write it properly, not having any piercing myself. but since then i’ve got my first one and (even though i don’t plan another one atm) i feel like it’s just as addicting as tattoos, man. i’ll be slowly catching up with the requests, even if with short headcanons (unfinished requests here were hunting me for 2 years now)

WHO IS THIS DIVA

No honestly, i think the vibe is there and he loves it

i think we all know he loves spoiling you and getting you new jewellery (gift giving king) and he’d be excited to get to choose one of your piercings.

discussing the color, the shape, the size

he’s there for all of it

thinks it looks soo cool and loves having you at the club to show you off !!!

i see some nsfw potential but that’s not my cup of tea. but I SEE IT !!!

on some softer side, he would be happy if you’d listen to his advices about choosing your piercings </3

probably mentioned how he’s curious to see silver/gold on you instead someday, and would melt if you’d remember it

especially because you didn’t have to change/do anything but you still considered his words

small thing yet makes him soften immediately around you again

thinks it’s hot and would tell you that a lot too

[bettyshoweduptotheparty]

The Witches of Oz

I’m still not over how good this episode was and I won’t be able to pick my favourite part but there’s one thing I want to give a quick mention to before whatever pride flag surprise song dress and devastating mashup takes my focus for the weekend.

Agatha and Lilia were dressed as Glinda and Elphaba, the witches from the wizard of Oz. And I can’t help but notice the glaring parallels between their characters in this episode. Lilia being the main protagonist this episode and key to solving the task does so by matching each member of the coven to a tarot card, then proceeds to give them advice before they part ways just like Glinda did for Dorothy and her friends. She gives Billy his spell book back like the scarecrow got a brain. She brings out Jen’s ability to care for others over herself and calls her the path forward, like the tin man got a heart. She matched Alice to the noble fighter, the lion who turned brave in pursuit of friendship. And she tells Agatha what to do “when she calls you a coward” like Glinda told Dorothy to click her heels together to get home. All of which I’m sure will make sense in hindsight, just like Lilia’s other predictions did.

And Agatha is Elphaba. She even says

It’s easy to see how the original wicked witch of the West could be based on Agatha as the classic meanie. But on a deeper level, the story of Wicked tells us the backstory that Elphaba was actually not wicked at all, just misunderstood. One of her songs in the musical even tells us that she only gave in to being the villain because ‘No good deed goes unpunished’. She tried to help, tried to be good, but people just wanted her to be evil. Sounds a lot like Agatha.

(And not to read too much into it, but Elphaba ends up faking her own death to run off with her lover 😉)

[shit-talker]

My favourite thing about The Penguin (2024) is that they will make you like Oz, like he'll be having slushees with Vic, or giving him advice and ensuring nobody disrespects him - hell, even the way Oz treats the people around him like the working girls and all that, or his mother. He is so caring, and you start to genuinely like him and think he's just misunderstood...

And then he'll just kill someone without a thought. Or he'll push Vic into a hole with dead bodies, or he'll leave Sofia behind two minutes after asking for her trust. He's so complicated and self-serving, but there's lines that he draws that I can't really define. That's what a villain is; completely unpredictable. And I love how well this show is doing that with him.

[deadpanwalking]

your tags often have some solid pieces of advice on living a decent life. wondering if you'd care to share maybe 3 such things that have helped you the most and you keep coming back to?

Jerk off constantly.

Don't buy expensive balsamic vinegar. Just get a cheap bottle at the supermarket (an 8.5 oz bottle of Bertoli Balsamic Vinegar of Modena is like $5 at most). Simmer a cup of it with 3 tablespoons each of sugar and port, until it's reduced by half. Let cool and drizzle over whatever the fuck you want. It will taste like the top shelf stuff.

When you're an adult, a few days without eating vegetables or putting your principles into practice¹ will give you a Feel Like Shit debuff. Chances are you already feel like shit for reasons outside of your control, so allocating energy and time towards those you can control will save you² a lot of grief.

[red-life]

images ive saved in my phone + the last dsmp stream

how do people do web weaves i just spent the last 3 hours to 5am struggling to crop images on my phone

roughly in order:

We Used Our Words We Used What Words We Had, Franny Choi

good riddance, a softer sea

This is How You Lose Her, Junot Díaz

i won't let the choice fall to you, either, a softer sea

The Marvelous Land of Oz, L. Frank Baum

gentle.earth

logging onto the dream smp for the final time (HUGE LORE), jack manifold

Failing and Flying, Jack Gilbert

True Love Mural, @.bigskycastle

alleycat gives unsolicited advice, @.diakoh

@.wholeheartedsuggestions

The Adventure Zone, Griffin McElroy

@.maybecowboycore

Dividers by @.patorucho

i'll hold your hand, a softer sea

Somewhere between yesterday and ten years ago, you grew up, @.spokensincerely

the fight is harder each year, @.theveryworstthing

girl dancing with Anna Pavlova painting

poetry is stored in the tags, vol 5, @.araekni

A Psalm for the Wild-Built (Becky Chambers) / kagonekoshiro, @.guooey

The Epic of Gilgamesh

@.inkskinned

a uquiz i can't locate :(

Litany in Which Certain Things Are Crossed Out, Richard Siken

dictionary poem xlvi, keaton st. james

[nc-vb]

𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐚, 𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐡𝐰𝐚, & 𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐡𝐮𝐚 𝐑𝐞𝐜𝐬

a long time coming that I've meant to compile a list, but it just kept growing and growing and growing...

the webtoon list includes my very personal & important in-my-heart recommendations. aaaaand the rest are mostly smutty, kinky, and even a little dark.......... do not perceive, just enjoy. and support the official author's work and translations if you can!!

if there are any in this list you'd like a heads up about before reading, feel free to drop me an ask and I'll give you my honest opinion/review.

if you're having trouble locating anything, shoot me an ask (because i have most, if not all, of the links saved).

and feel free to gush to me if you liked any of them!! i'm always happy to talk about mmm's.

[updated july 3rd, 2023] - newly added titles are in green.

𝐵𝐿 = boy's love genre 𝐆𝐋 = girl's love genre 𝟏+ = includes harems & poly relationships ❤ = absolute masterpieces, highly recommended! ! = proceed with extreme caution/heed all warnings

please heed all warnings and tags found within each of these recommendations, as well as my own warnings from the symbol legend above and found throughout this post.

some of these are sfw and some aren't. some of these aren't for the faint of heart and will be marked to be read at your own risk. additionally, not all are translated into English. 𝐵𝐿/𝐆𝐋 are separate from the general list.

𝐖𝐄𝐁𝐓𝐎𝐎𝐍

A Messy Fairy Tale 𝟏+

A Summer Night's Dream

Age Matters ❤

Back to You

Bailin and Li Yun BL❤

Bitten Contract

Boyfriend of the Dead

Castle Swimmer BL

City of Blank

Dating With a Tail

Daytime Star

Devil Number 4 ❤

Devilish Romance

Down to Earth

Dreaming Freedom

Ghost Wife

Ghostly Buddie

Half-Ghost

Harem of LuuAnh

Hello Baby ❤

I'm the Grim Reaper

I Love Yoo ❤

It's Mine

Jeff's Disorders

Kind of Confidential

Little Rain

Lore Olympus ❤

Love Advice from the Great Duke of Hell ❤

Mage & Demon Queen GL

Marry Me!

Maybe Meant to Be

Meow Man

Midnight Poppy Land

Midnight Rain

Mom, I'm Sorry

Morgana and Oz

Muse on Fame

My Beloved Emperor

My Dear Cold-Blooded King

My Four Husbands 𝟏+

My In-Laws are Obsessed with Me ❤

My Lovely Bodyguard

Nice to Meet You

Not Even Bones

Operation: True Love ❤

Pastel-colored Pages

Phase

Scorching Romance

See You in My 19th Life ❤

Selina ~ Moon Bride ~

Siren's Lament ❤

Soleil

Space Boy

Strange and Wild

SubZero

Swimming Lessons for a Mermaid ❤

Take Off BL

The Devil is a Handsome Man

The First Night With the Duke ❤

The Guy Upstairs

The Newlywed Diary of a Witch and a Dragon ❤

The RUNWAY

There Must Be Happy Endings

To the Stars and Back BL

Trapped ❤

Unlovable Replacement

When Jasy Whistles ❤❤

Winter Woods

Your Smile is a Trap ❤

𝐒𝐅𝐖

Abe-kun's Got Me Now! (Abe-kun ni Nerawaretemasu)

A Master, Who Woke Up As a Concubine ❤

And Yet, You Are So Sweet (Na no ni, Chigira-kun amasugiru)

Beloved in-Laws (poor transl.)

Bon Appétit ❤

Don't Blush, Sekime

Forget My Husband, I'll Go Make Money (Aug 2023)

Golden Forest !

I, My, Me, Mine ❤ (アイマイミーマイン)

I Became the Male Lead's Adopted Daughter

I Can't Keep Up With My Stallion Duke ❤❤

I Will Change the Genre

I Will Rewrite the Dead End Novel

In the Clear Moonlit Dusk ❤ (Uruwashi no Yoi no Tsuki)

It's My Destiny to Be the Hero's Saviour !

Kubo Won't Let Me Be Invisible

Love's in Sight!

Loving Yamada at Lv 999 ❤❤❤

Male Lead, I'll Respect Your Taste !

Ookami no Musume ❤❤

Pink and Habanero ❤ (Pink to Habanero)

Protected by My Dragon Knight (Seijo wa Ryuukishi-sama ni Mamorarete)

Scary Faced High Schooler and Miss Plain Jane

Second Life of a Trash Princess

Sinking too deep in your rabbit hole, now I'm drowning in your love

Stella Next to Me ❤ (Tonari no Stella)

The Cunning Princess and the Shark ❤

The Fragrant Flower Blooms With Dignity ❤ (Kaoru Hana wa Rin to Saku)

The Muscle Girl Next Door

The Obsessive Second Male Lead Has Gone Wild

The Reasons We Fall in Love ❤ (Watashi-tachi ga koisuru riyuu)

The Tyrant's Comfort Doll !

To the Dear F-Phantom of the Opera (Shinai naru F e: Opera-za no Kaijin)

Toilet-Bound Hanako-kun ❤ (Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun)

Vampire Lord's Greatest Wife ❤

Welcome to the Yandere Cafe (rating subject to change)

Yojouhan no Ibara Hime

𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐒𝐅𝐖

あざと可愛い✕くんの執着サド交尾は本物です x!!!

無能力巫女は狛犬の淫紋快楽漬け x❤!

2LDK IKEMEN Tsuki Bukken Arimasu !!

A Dream Between the Sheets ❤❤

A Gentle Sea Monster and a Lonely Girl !

A Predator in a Skirt !

A Sip of Poison !

Boy's Abyss (subject to change, new read) !!

Childhood Friend's Secret Massage !

Consort to the Fox Spirit Lord

Dark Fall !

Depths of Malice !

Devoured by a Bookworm Girl !

Fire in His Fingertips ❤

Former Delinquent Farmer's Sex Appeal is Dangerous!

From Him to Who? ~Sex With My Body-Snatched Husband ❤

Gokudou to Omega - Mukidashi no Katsuai

Hana's Demons of Lust !

Hare-kon 𝟏+

Heat 200 Meters Away (200 M Saki no Netsu)

Honey, I'm Going On a Strike!

How to Make a Frigid Girl Cum

I'm in Love With Mr. Hanabusa

Lady K and the Sick Man ❤❤

Last Order wa Ojou-san de Dekiai Jouren Kyaku ni Kyuuai saretemasu

Junai - Pure Wet Love

Kuma to Tora ~Taikakusa Osananajimi no Hajimete kara, Kemono ni Naru 2-kakan made~ x

Madoka Exorcist ❤!

Mede Little Roy !

Mr. Tada is a Top Performer

Muttsuri Akazukin-kun kara wa nige rarenai

My Cold Co-worker Obsessively Loves Me

Pet Baby Doll

Pygmalion's Savior is a Big But Immature Love Monster !❤

Red Hot Proposal: Surrounded by His Tanned Body

Sadistic Beauty !!!!

Sakaki the Lazybones Shows His Talents at Night ❤❤

Sapphire Dew ~ Infatuated Gentlemanly Boyfriend Seizes the Initiative !

Seishun no Hekireki

Seriously can't pass this up. - Kohai's passionate sex won't stop until morning

Sinful Nun Pays Penitence to the Serpent ❤❤

Spring Amidst My Wintertide ❤

Superstitious Nine ❤

Sweet Lies Layered Like a Mille Feuille ❤

Tadano Renai Nanka de Kikkonai ❤❤

The Golden Forest !

The Goldfish’s Corpse Lies at the Bottom of the Swamp !!!!!!!!

The Greengrocer is a Carnivore in Bed!?

The Man Who Saved Me in My Isekai Trip Was a Killer!!!!!!!

The Neighbor in Room 203 Disappeared Leaving a Key Behind !!!!!!!

The Reincarnated Saint Falls for the Demon Lord

The Tainted Half !

The Virgin Witch

The Weird Senior in the Seat Next to Me ❤❤❤! (Tonari Senpai)

Toshishita Osananajimi ga Watashi o Shibatte Hanasa nai! x

Totem's Realm

Touching is Better Than Looking

Under the Oak Tree

Until the Obedient Bodyguard Exposes the Body and the Lie of the Fake Lady ❤

"Wanna Cum?" The Pure Taiga Advances Slow and Sweet ❤❤

Welcome to the Muscle Salon ❤❤❤

When Beauty Meets Beasts

When You Are Reincarnated As The villain NPC's Girl And Be Loved By The Strongest Prince Who Is Not A Capture Target !!

Wild Eyes

Will You Pledge Your Love to an Incubus?

Wish Upon a Husband

Yaba Ai Instructor !

You're Too Cute for Me to Be Gentle

𝐁𝐋 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐒

4 Week Lovers BL

A Handless Day BL!

A Hot Wet Job for Three -Adult Toy Tester- BL, 𝟏+

A Kiss for You, My Shinobi BL

A Tree Without Roots BL❤!

Angel Buddy BL❤❤

Bidou Wakadanna Koi Shitau Wa Koushoku Otoko BL❤

Bitten by Moonlight BL

Black Mirror BL!!!

Blind Play BL!!

Can't Think Straight BL

Cherry Blossoms After Winter BL

Confession Night BL

Dangerous Convenience Store BL

Dawn of the Dragon BL

Dear Door BL

DEATH or LOVE BL

Delinquent Omega Belongs to the Beast King BL

Demon of Lustful Hell BL

Desharow Merman BL❤

Die If You Aren't a Virgin BL

Eat Me Up, My Husband BL!

Ennead

Eunsoo's Good Day BL

Eye Contact BL

Fake Fact Lips BL

Frenemies: Thicker Than Blood BL❤

Friends, Engaged

Fucking in the Dorms BL!

Ghost Gate BL!!!!!

Healing Paradox BL❤

He's a Better Top Than Me?! BL

Home Far Away BL❤!!!

Horeta Otoko wa Shin'yuu de BL!

Housekeeper's Love Affair BL

How to convince your best friend to sleep with you BL

Hyperventilation BL❤❤❤

I Didn't Ask You to Eat Me!

I Love You, Nothing Else Matters BL❤

In an Empty Classroom BL

Indigo BL

I Ship My Rival x Me BL

It's Just a Dream... Right? BL❤❤❤

Jinx BL!

Kabukicho Bad Trip BL

Kiss de Egaku Ittousei BL❤

Kiss Me, Liar BL!

Lala no Kekkon BL!

Liveta BL

Love in Kitsch BL

Love is an Illusion BL!

Love Jinx BL❤

Low Tide in Twilight BL!!

Mad Dog BL❤❤

Miscreants and Mayhem BL

Missing Love BL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (<I cannot express this enough.)

My Delicious Dream Boy BL❤

My Demon Crybaby, Maria BL

My Partner Suddenly Got Younger - An Omega Caretaker Plays Alpha BL!

Natsu no Teppen ni Saku BL

Old-Fashioned Cupcake BL❤❤ (has a j-drama)

Pain, Sweet Pain BL

Passion BL

Payback BL❤❤❤

Pearl Boy BL❤!!!!!!

Pink Heart Jam BL❤❤

Please, Candy! BL!

Roses and Champagne BL!

Sadistic Beauty: Side Story BL!!!!!!

Secret Inside My Head BL❤❤❤

Semantic Error BL (has a j-drama)

Sensei wa Nekketsu ga Areba Juubunda! BL!

Sick BL

Sign BL❤❤❤

Sketch BL❤

Speak of the Devil BL

Steel Under Silk BL❤

Surge Looking for You BL❤

Sweet Trap BL

Tabetemo Oishiku Arimasen BL

Tentacle Recipe BL(?)❤

The Blessed Life of a Retired Nian Monster BL

The Crybaby's at the Mean Devil's Mercy BL❤

The Foxy Mouse's Romance BL

The Origin of Species BL!

The Pizza Delivery Man and the Gold Palace BL

The Pure-Hearted Puppy and the Erotic Tattoo BL❤

The Silent Concubine BL!

The Unquenchable Mr. Kim BL❤

The Words in Your Snare BL❤❤❤

To Take An Enemy's Heart BL!

Tomodachi Engagement BL

Trick Turned Into a Threesome With the Tachibana Brother BL

Under the Greenlight BL

Unexpectedly Naughty Fukami BL❤

Unromantic Romance BL❤

Young Lover BL!!

Your Wish is My Command BL❤

Yours to Claim BL

Zenryaku, Onii-chan wa Seijo ni Narimashita BL!

more recommendations will likely be added as time goes on! feel free to copy these recs for your own checklist of 'to reads'.

hope you enjoy them like i did! :)

[slashingdisneypasta]

Imagine;

DMD!Scarecrow acting like a good mentor for you when you crash-land in Oz, just like he did with Dorothy all those years ago; pretending to be just the person he was back then and helping you on your adventure to get back home. Being the Mad Hatter to your Alice.

But secretly the entire time, he's sabotaging you because he wants you to stay with him. Sending you both in the wrong direction (*face palm* oh silly me. You know the old straw brain isn't as sharp as it used to be 😅 we're several fields away from where we should be), giving you the wrong advice (OH, my bad. I FORGOT that the hungry tiger roams these parts 😕 Oopsie daisy? Heheh 😅 Good thing he stopped himself, right?? Aaaanyway- ), etc.

When you somehow, finally get to the Wizard (who's, miraculously, willing to help you), Scare is actually baffled how this happened and that just makes him even MORE mad ontop of the fact that you're getting away. His pride is hurt and you could escape??? Jesus fucking christ.

... but still. He keeps the act up. Maybe you'll choose to stick around, right? He's been so sweet. Such a good friend. Kept you fed and kept your fragile little organic body safe-- surely you'll w a n t to stay with him, right?? Yes. That's the only thing that makes sense.

So just as you're about to step into the hot air balloon with that crackpot 'wizard', Scare jumps up to you, takes your hands softly in his and tilts his head oh-so-cutely. "You could stay, you know. ... with me." A wonky grin on his stitched-mouth.

When you giggle gently, tears in your eyes, and shale your head; his non-existent heart drops. That's the last straw. "I would love to... but I can't. You understand, don't you?? My lovely friend ^^ "

Scare can't answer. His mind is absolutely boggled. Jumbled up. And he's pissed. Off. His fingers are tightening around yours, when the Wizard taps your shoulder. "Child, of course he does. Now come on- "

"The HELL I do." Scare growls, yanking you away from the hot air balloon just as the Wizard cuts the ropes tying it to the ground. The damn thing pf course starts flying away without you, history repeating itself, but Scarecrow can't acknowledge the symmetry while rage boils inside him and your little hand wriggles in his hold. Trying to get away.

But fuck that.

He knows he's scaring you with this jarring change in his demenour but he doesnt care. He put so much work into being a good friend to you. How did that not work?? What- is he supposed to do all that for you and just let you GO?? No. A thank you is not good enough. You have to stay. You have to be grateful.

[elysiumnotes]

My 9-1-1 s8 Disaster Ideas/Wishlist

So I am going to spend the hiatus for 911 moving onto some of my brushed to the wayside hyperfixations now that the season’s over. Honestly after almost 15 years in fandom, I do not want to wade into the water of angsty ship wars and have already filtered out my tags and blocked certain blogs to ensure my peace.

However, I still will be thinking about my gay little wee woo show and I wanted to post my ideas, wishes, speculations, and predictions. Not necessarily in that order…..

Anyways! First things first, for this little post I wanted to speculate about what s8’s big disaster is going to be and my idea on how it could be done. (ABC if you’re lurking, please feel free to take the idea. You too, Tim. I give this idea away for free) What I think the s8 disaster is:

TORNADO / TWISTER

Now hear me out….as a Canadian, I have no clue if Tornadoes are common or even occur in places like LA. But with a dramatic ass show like 911 that has dealt with titanic-like cruise ship disaster, tsunami, earthquake, mudslides, wildfires, etc. it’s not out of the realm of possibility for them to completely the elemental set.

But moving onto how they would work it in…

I propose that it is used in the season premiere. (stick with me and imagine) LA is on Tornado watch and is hunkering down but the 118 get called to an emergency like they always do. (since it seems like their sector seems to be the entirety of LA, but I digress)

Unfortunately Captain Gerard is still the temp Captain while Bobby is out fighting the decision with the Chief. Obviously the crew does not gel with his leadership style which affects their ability to complete this rescue that’s in the path of the tornado.

Now this is where I get a little insane….Please stick with me on this….

This will be an Eddie centric 2 part premiere as he’s still reeling from Chris’s decision to go to Texas for the summer. (I refuse to have him leave completely) He’s kinda going stir crazy in an empty house now that his son’s not there. Instead of Buck being the normally reckless one, Eddie dives into the rescue against Gerard’s orders as the wind picks up. The tornado gets too close and the winds too strong that they can’t go after him safely and that cause the structure he’s in to collapse on him and knock him out.

Here’s the crazy part…

As he’s knocked out, we go into Eddie’s dreamscape consciousness that is just pretty much a 911 version retelling of the Wizard of Oz….

(I promise this will be a compelling arc)

…..which we will eventually learn is the movie he ended up watching the night before as had been having some cases of Insomnia now that Chris was gone.

Now you’re thinking, Elysium, that absolutely bonkers and how would they ever pull it off? Truthfully I don’t know how they would write but I can give the bare bones of what I imagine for it.

Eddie wakes up in weird not-version of LA after the Tornado passes to find a firetruck crushing the ‘Wicked Witch of the West’ Gerard.

He’ll take the Saint Christopher medal from the body (why? I don’t know… it’s his weird dream sequence about coming to terms with his grief)

No memories/vague recollection of what he’s doing. All he knows is that he has to get back home to his soul. His family.

Eventually he is found by ‘Glinda the Good Witch’ Evan ‘’Buck’ Buckley, who gives him a goal to work towards and solid advice to find the great wizard (Bobby) who should be able to grant his wish.

Obviously he will be joined by Hen & Chim as companions, each searching for their own thing. (not to be one-to-one with the Tin Man & Lion, but Hen’s thing would be about courage to fight the councilwoman and get Mara back. Chim looking for the heart could be maybe thinking about having more kids once Mara is back with Henren. You stuff like like that, idk)

Dealing with the Witch Gerard and the flying monkeys (which would be all the obstacles that the 118 face, grief about Shannon, unresolved catholic guilt, his parents taking his kid, etc)

Finally Eddie will make it to the Wizard (Bobby), the man he conflated and put on pedestal because the Good Witch Buck, who sees Bobby as his his father figure (which is a good thing don’t get me wrong), also did. Only to realize Bobby is also just a man like him, his true foil (narratively this would be made clear to the audience using flashbacks) who like him, only became grand because his pushed himself to work for it even through his grief and bad moments.

What Eddie realizes is that he was looking for his way back home to his perfect life and family, to a Chris who won’t currently be there. And that destroying himself to wait for him to come back won’t fix the issue. Glinda will also help him with this.

He realizes that the way to make amends is to do like Bobby and put the effort into that change. He going to make his home a comfortable space for Chris again, so when he does come back, he knows that things will be different. He’ll take time for himself to properly grieve Shannon (and get more therapy, god!) and take the space to delve into some self-discovery whole were at it.

Then he’ll wake up from being knocked out by his team, not including Gerard, once the Tornado is gone. Maybe they go back to the station after a checkup at the hospital and Bobby comes back saying he’s reinstated and Gerard is gone. (I’m not really planning for this stuff)

Now, I’m obviously missing some characters in this dream sequence but I don’t know where they would fit. And I’m avoiding some big sexuality and romantic notions in regards to Eddie.

Trust that I know and I want it too, but I also want to avoid the ship wars this summer. So I’ll leave it vague, even though to me the idea of Eddie being Dorothy is very explicit in what arc I want for him.

Let me know what you would cast the other 911 character as in this version of Oz. Also thank you for indulging my crazy idea. I’ll be back with more.

Also #RaviMainS8!

[bestworstcase]

To add to the conversation about the themes of Maidens and Ozpin controlling them being not a good thing, it was only the third Maiden power did we get someone willing to work with the team. Both Raven and her predecessor said no to working with Ozpin. (It's not exactly subtle that Qrow does end up speaking with the not yet known to him or the audience Spring Maiden in Volume 4 and being told no. And at no point does Oz or him talk about convincing someone that doesn't want to work with them.)

hardly a novel thing to point out but it’s so very telling that the conversation surrounding the spring maiden in v4-5 is entirely framed in terms of "raven has spring" and "mounting a retrieval force" because, as qrow puts it, "raven won’t give up her most prized possession without a fight."

the maidens literally just. aren’t people, in the inner circle’s eyes. they’re objects. tools. weapons. something you can possess. it’s not even that the inner circle doesn’t care whether the maidens agree or not; they’re dehumanized to such an extreme degree that the idea of a maiden having the capacity to make choices isn’t recognized at all.

which rwby starts to unpack in atlas. fria is an elderly woman with dementia who isn’t allowed to see anyone but the designated heir—she is being actively medically abused for the sake of destroying her capacity to Remember anyone else but winter. penny, ironwood says, is under his complete control. and then it is her act of disregarding ironwood’s wishes to accept the winter maiden herself (to protect winter! to ensure winter’s safety! this is not only what penny wants but also what she was ordered to do) which leads him to the realization that he was incorrect—that penny is not an object—with the result that nearly every choice ironwood makes in v8 is motivated by his fixation on getting penny back under control. similarly he believes he has winter so well-trained that she isn’t Capable of betraying him, and when she proves him wrong he tries to kill her, and it’s the winter maiden, given to her by penny as a gift, that protects her / allows her to free herself from him.

which is to say, the maidens who choose to help teams rwby & jnpr can do so only after Liberating themselves from the systematic dehumanization and control of the inner circle—consent becomes possible only after the maiden breaks free of her cage.

this is also one of the reasons i think gil is the summer maiden. bc there’s this pattern. the vaults are shackles for every maiden except cinder (who becomes a maiden in defiance of the man who Set Up this system and then immediately kills him). in raven and in penny + winter we’ve had explorations of what this looks like in relation to characters who are notionally on the same side as the vault-keepers (none of them want salem getting her hands on their relic), with the atlas arc forcing the kids into open conflict with ironwood Because they see penny/the maiden as a person who can make choices.

a situation where the summer maiden is involved in the inner circle or even just neutral risk retreading the same ground. whereas. a maiden who is an adversary who (like salem albeit for different reasons) Cannot Be Beaten (because she represents half of vacuo and killing her will make her a martyr, ripping the kingdom apart) feels like the natural place for this narrative to go next. what happens if the maiden says no? for real this time. how do you persuade her, compromise with her, what reason do you give her to work with you?

(<- potential here for a reprise and inversion of ozpin’s advice to ruby in v1: if you’re not always performing at your absolute best, what reason do you give others to follow you? well, if you’re not treating others like human beings whose choices and freedom matter, what reason do you give them to stand with you? as always the curative for the poison of guardians and martyrs is coalition, which is harder in many ways but also healing.)

[onmyyan]

🗡️Psycho🗡️ Anon, here again! #5

Ya gonna have to make a divider folder for me or somethin for all my posts I’m submitting to ya at this rate…

Anywho as my brain was rottin n everythin I was sent into another eureka episode of delulu with Ashley Hunt. I’m so sorry but no not really cuz I love this man and I’d let him tie me up to him like a cock sleeve. Like seriously I wish this man would geta larger fan base too cuz he deserve a harem. Imma be whore #1 for him though plz…

So back to me thoughts. Imma be like those people jumpin into multiverses and constantly explorin AUs, cause it was another AU idea I had with meetin Ash. We got your original story reader, then the AU of hardcore city girl reader yours truly made (check out my submits #2 and #3 for new viewers), and now we got…

Bimbo AU reader!!!

Yea we samplin lots of different dishes hun! Cause sometimes I just wanna be “no thoughts head empty” ya know? But like not in a horrible misogynistic way…Like hardcore city girl was fun, but now let’s see something that’s more opposite of her character and see how Ash deals with this new character/reader personality.…so dontcha worry this new AU won’t be bad. I hope not…

You know the drill, story starts by us comin out to the small ass town in the countryside n livin with our grandma. In this AU though, grannie is doin just fine. It’s us who’s fucked. Ya see we got our hearts broken yet again in our home of the big city. We’re not that smart ya see…and cause of that we’re constantly taken advantage of by romantic prospects. What can I say? We’re a hopeless romantic at heart and wanna be whisked away be a handsome Prince on a horse…

So grannie thought it’d be good for us to leave the city for a while and come to the country to take a break from all the bullshit. We oblige cause there ain’t anyone who’d ever take advantage of us in a small town in the hicks. And some of our former suitors have been real bratty to us lately and our friends think distance might be the only solution at this point. Maybe we can become a better or new person by the time our stay with grannie is over. We could get whisked away to the land of Oz and getta new brain perhaps…

So now we all cheery comin out of our vehicle and unpackin our luggage. Ashley Hunt pops up of course and introduces himself. We get a lil flustered cause he big big at 6’6” and got the muscles to match. We polite n everythin and introduce ourselves too. He offers up to fix parts of the house (as per usual story sequence) and before we give him our answer, a small pocket journal falls from the luggage we’re carrying onto the floor. It’s guide our friends helped compile for us on “how to survive and make smart decisions” cause we just that naive and stupid…

It filled with tips, advice, and scenarios of what to do when a man does xyz. It even got a chart that you can answer yes, no, and the like that points you down to the final verdict at the bottom. We look over to the sound of the falling object and see the pocket journal and that enough for us to remember our poor decision making skills. So we just say “no” like our friends back at home have been drillin into us to practice sayin to men when we confused or can’t make a sound decision at the moment…

Ash is a bit taken aback at this and is asking us if we got someone else already comin to do repairs. We respond “no” again. Then he asks if we’re gonna do it ourselves. We say “no” again. And then we kinda just stand there in awkward silence for a few moments as Ash himself is just tryin to process what just happened himself…

We tell him it was nice meetin him and he gets the hint and bids adieu sayin that he hopes he can see more of us. And if we change our minds or need anythin from him to not hesitate to come n get him. “No” is what we reply with a smile cause we stupidly on auto pilot repeat mode still. Ash is just stupefied himself at this point wonderin what he did wrong as the door closes in his face and he got a while to think ridin home…

It’s been a couple days n we gotten all settled in. We haven’t gone into town yet and decided we should explore. We’ve also been running out of some food so it’d be good to pick up some groceries too while we at it. We go to town surprisingly easily given the single direct road from the house. Thank goodness for our poor brain…And as we shoppin in the small store mindin our business we get harassed by the town creep. A old poor drunk who tends to only come out durin late nights to a bar. But lucky us he had to come out this fine afternoon…

 He tells us how we must be new in town since he hasn’t seen our pretty face n all. We just smile and take his compliment cause we really do think he bein nice to us. Drunky of course takes this as an invite and starts gettin handsy and our danger signals finally start flarin. And whose hand comes in to save us? Our country beau Ash!

He easily pulls drunky back tellin him how his ma and pa raised an animal for doin something like that to a lady and throws him out of the store onto the street. Ash quickly comes back to us askin if we ok and all. We nod and tell him this ain’t our first rodeo dealin with men like that. To which we don’t notice the brief flashin murderous glint in his eyes as we ‘em this. He pushes the conversation to a better place askin how we’re enjoying town n everythin. And we happily tell him we likin the area so far. Easily forgettin the events that just occurred as we continue our shoppin with Ash by our side…

The conversation ends when our shoppin does n we tell Ash we should get home. He says goodbye he himself happy that we were able to be close and our second encounter wasn’t like our first again. Much more pleasant. And as we drivin back home we wanna do somethin nice for Ash since he saved us. But then we think back to our pocket journal and gotta consult it first…

As we lookin through it we realize that it doesn’t have anything for what to do when a man saves you from danger…Sure it got what to do when a man offers you a free ride in his vehicle, when a man offers you a free drink or meal, or when a man gifts you somethin really expensive. But nothin about a man savin you from another man…So what the fuck do we do?

We ask our grannie for advice since she gotta have something good. She asks us what is our head tellin us what he might like. We respond with “blowin him? Men always told me that’s when they liked me the most” Grannie is not amused. She is also concerned for our survival out in the world. She suggests we bake him a pie since she a bit old fashioned thinkin that a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. And you can’t ever go wrong with somethin sweet…

We reluctantly agree as she really really pushes it as she obviously doesn’t want us going down the other route. And so we spend the rest of the afternoon bakin a cherry pie for Ash for me to take to him later in the evenin when he’s probably for sure done with farm work. Night comes and we going alone to Ash’s residence. And luckily it also a one way road down from grannie’s so our poor brain won’t break down and malfunction. We go up to Ash’s large large house. He got a big farm too. And so we knock his door with the door knocker and it a cute shoe horse…

Ash is genuinely surprised to see us. And so late at night too. He initially woulda thought somethin bad had happened if not for the pie in front of us pushing it to him with a smile. “I made you a cherry pie. Well grannie and I did. As thanks for helping me out today at the market,” we say in the cutest way possible that’s about to make him cumbust. “Grannie wouldn’t let me thank you how I woulda wanted to.” Ash grins back wonderin how you’d thank him, and before he can ask outa curiosity we keep talkin…”I would’ve blown you as thanks. But if you don’t like the cherry pie I can still blow you if you’d like. I can do it in your bed too if it’d help you go to sleep too”…

Ash is just a stunned red hot blushin mess at this point and he swears his precum is probably sleeping out of him by now and if he moves an inch he’ll probably nut in his pants. We ask him if he ok and if he’s got a fever since he so red and not movin, and Ash just a stumblin mess of words n expressions. He eventually excuses himself and invites us in and prepares dishware and cutlery for us to try the cherry pie. We start apologizin and tellin him that he ain’t gonna like it since we aren’t good cooks and all. And he reassures us that he’s sure that it’ll taste delightful…

Now it’s uwu boohoo story time as we tell Ash that no one ever likes our cookin or bakin as it’s always tasted bad. All the men we were with previously also tried to get us to cook or bake for them at some point and were also disgusted with us and our abilities that we just ended up eating out all the time before the eventual break up for somethin else. So we tellin Ash with our eyes gettin a bit wet n glassy that this is our last warnin and we happy to give him a proper thanks instead. And Ash gives us one look before devouring the whole cherry pie easily himself and then sayin “it was the best cherry pie I’ve ever had.” And we just stunned n waitin for him to throw up n topple over or somethin. But he doesn’t. Instead they’re a small bite left and he picks it up with his fork and pushes it up to our mouth. Tellin us to try it. We open our mouths and eat it. And it’s not bad? Ash smiles at us and tells us to have more faith in ourselves. We smile back too…

Ash asks if we need any help gettin back home since it’s dark out and he’s ok with walkin home n stuff. We good and leave promptly back home. And while we wantin to feel good from everythin that happened we don’t let ourselves as we read our pocket journal almost every night. Advice n notes from friends actin as our conscious tellin us we always fall for men who give us the slightest attention and men are scummy liars who can fake about anythin if it means gettin some kitty. So we just try to tell ourselves that Ash is probably fakin it and is vomitin the pie probably right now. But we tasted it…the cherry pie did taste good…

And so for the next while with grannie we wanna try cookin and bakin more. Much to her delight. And we really really tryin. Tryin have more faith in ourselves n everythin. We makin everythin from cute sandwiches, cookies, to hand made pasta. Really becomin versatile in different dishes for any persons stomach. Soon enough we meet Ash again when we on a grocery run and can’t help but blush a little n hope he doesn’t notice. He asks how we’ve been and we happily tell him everythin. He says he’d be honored to try more of our cookin and bakin if we have any spare leftovers or need to use a taste tester much to our laughter…

We part ways once again and going home for the night and cookin dinner with grannie wouldn’t you know…the fuckin house really could’ve used some repairs here and there cause the damn oven gave out before bed. So grannie having her old timey mentality just told us to go over to Ash’s the next morning and ask him to borrow his kitchen for the day to make a few meals for the week for us. And it’d be good practice for me to go at cookin n bakin alone. We wanna say “no” as our conditioning from our friends taught us to, but grannie persists and isn’t taking no for an answer. So mornin comes and we gotta leave early to catch Ash before he leaves work early for the farm…

We drive n go up to Ash’s at dawn hopin he’ll be up at least and we haven’t completely woken him from bed. Much to our delight he’s up and wonderin what we need. Playfully sayin that it’s awful early to be bringin him food but he’ll always be ready to accept anythin from us. We explain the situation to him and luckily he agrees a bit too excitedly. He jumps and easily brings in some of the bags of food we brought in the car into the house and onto the kitchen counter for us. We start preparin food and Ash just sits back and watches us for a bit with a grin that’d make fish forget how to swim. Tellin us eventually that he needs to get goin but to make ourselves at home…

So the day progresses and sure enough it’s afternoon and Ash comes back into the house thinkin he can take a quick shower since some of the bulls he had to wrestle were especially bitchy today and tossed him around in the environment a little more than usual. And lo and behold when the door opens Ash hears from us “yay! You’re back! I was wonderin when you were coming home. I made you lunch. I bet you’re hungry from working so hard!” Pinching himself wouldn’t be enough to wake up from this blissful dream Ash thought. No he’d have to ram himself into the bull pen and even getting kicked n bucked by wild horses wouldn’t be enough to wake him. Not that he’d ever want to wake up from this moment anyway…

Ash comes into the kitchen and sure enough sees us settin out his food for him and usherin him to eat. We made him a large ass cheeseburger with a baked potato and coleslaw on the side. We keep babbling to him as Ash is just kinda in lalaland takin in us in the kitchen lookin all cute n shit and bein happy to see him. “…to your liking right? Wouldn’t want something so small since your so massive and everything. I couldn’t handle eating something so big. Can’t wrap my hands around it. I’d probably choke”…

And so this brings Ash outa lalaland and into hornyboner land as he’s just tryin not to take what the last few words we said outta context. That and he’s also trying to get his lil friend to settle down and not make the table rise from underneath…Ash is happily eatin and is doin his best to act normal…though everythin we doin to him is so domestic…Askin how his days goin so far, how much longer he’ll be workin, when he comin back home, what he wants for dinner…We givin this man a seizure practically and Ash probably needs to get his blood checked after we leave for the day…

And with the last bit of sanity Ash has he manages to leave n go back to work after he done eatin lunch. We bid him goodbye n say “take care. Make sure to stay safe for me ok? I don’t want you gettin hurt. Bye!” Needless to say Ash is doing peachy…We continue cookin the rest of our meals for grannie and I for the week in addition to startin a dinner for Ash too. Durin this time we get done a bit earlier than expected and see that some of his blankets in his livin room could use a wash and get the idea to help a bit more since he’s been so kind lettin us use his kitchen. And we look around the house just a lil for any more laundry to do…

We find the laundry room. Throw in the blankets and some towels and other items too. Cause it just easy to do it in one go ya know? And after some time when we all done to our horror some of the once white items are now a cute pink. And we panicking cause what’s Ash gonna do to us once we fucked up? It ain’t good n thinkin if we should quickly pack up n make a run for it to our car. As if the universe hated us we Ash comes in unnoticed sayin that he was callin for us for a bit throughout the house…

We shakin and lookin at him watery and glassy eyed thinkin that this is the end for us. Cause this is what always happen to us with men. We always find a way to make them mad at us and ruin whatever relationship we had goin on whether it was platonic or romantic. Cause we’re just that dumb and don’t have anything else goin on for us in life aside from our cute face n body accordin to them. And so we just do what we’ve always done when confronted with similar situations and go real quiet. Wait to be scolded for all our shortcomings n stuff. Then tossed outside and cry on our bed for the next week or something…

Ash just looks at us and asks if we were also doing our laundry. And we just remain beady eyed n silent like a deer in the headlights. Ash asks again and asks if we need any help of anythin. And at this point we just go on auto pilot mode again and start sayin we’re sorry and cryin. Ash of course is surprised and very gentle sayin that it’s ok and just hugs us lets us sob and cry. Get it out of our system…

After we’ve gained a bit of our composure he surprises us by carrying us extremely easily bridal style to the livin room where we explain what happened and how some of his stuff is now pink. He lets out a hearty chuckle and tells us not to worry our pretty little head. “It’s just fabric. It can be replaced if I really needed it to” And he also tells us he doesn’t mind the pink. It’ll give him something now to always think of us. To always have of us…

And so we laugh at it some more and then we both sit down in the dining room to eat the dinner I prepared for us. It some chicken, pasta, and salad and we talk some more about Ash’s day n life in general. We take him up in his offer in the end to do some repairs around grannie’s house since our oven fell apart and we wouldn’t want the rest of the house crumblin too. Much to his delight cause now he has reason to swing by more. We finish up eatin and I bring out a cute lil Angel cake for dessert for him n we eat a bit of it together. Night ends with me packing up the rest of the week’s meals for grannie and I and drivin back home. Tellin Ash how much we appreciated him for lettin us borrow his kitchen and not gettin mad at us for messin up his laundry…

And so the next week progresses with Ash comin to do repairs on the house and us talkin to him a lot while he does it. He never tells us to be quiet or what we’re sayin is dumb and stupid. He genuinely really happy to be hearin our voice no matter what’s comin out. Before we know it we’ve forgotten all about readin our little pocket journal n stuff for advice. And even when he done with all the repairs we practically just hang out with him about every other day…

On one of the days we hangin out with him he brings us out to the stables where he keeps his horses for a surprise he wants to show us. In the stables there are some ribbons of all different colors and lots of brushes. He told us he remembered that we thought it’d be fun to dress up his horses and make ‘em all cute braidin their hair n stuff. So he wanted to fulfill that wishful thought of ours. And we beamin happy as fuck cause no man ever really was this considerate of us and remembered what we said even if it was somethin like a small fleetin thought. So we spend the day decorating the horses of course safely as Ash makes sure we know how to handle the animals in a way so we don’t scare them. But not like the horses get scared cause Ash got the best horses n trained them the best a person would probably ever see. He’d never put us in any potential harms way…

And towards the end of the day we take a ride on the horse of our choosin. A large white stallion all cute with multi colored ribbons we put on it. It’s our first time ridin with Ash and the first time did not disappoint. It was fun and he made sure we were comfortable all the way. We felt so safe n secure being able to lean back into his broad n muscular body we coulda sworn we could’ve fell asleep if we wanted to. Have we ever felt this comfortable and happy bein with a man before?…

Starts to get dark out and we head back to his residence. Ash puts his horse away and while he at it we excuse ourselves to go to the bathroom. When we enter his house we find that some of the stuff we accidentally dyed pink is nicely arranged around the house. He kept it just as he said. Some blankets over some furniture and some pink towels n such in the bathroom and kitchen. When we leave and meet Ash outside where our car is parked we have a faint blush on our face. Tellin him he doesn’t have to keep the pink to spare our feelings. And Ash responds again n reassures us sayin he likes it. “Keeps you around the house when I can’t see you”…

We smile at this and ask him if we can add another touch while we’re at it. He of course agrees. Sayin that we can do whatever we want to his house cause he’s sure he’ll like it. And so we pull out a big pink ribbon from our pocket n tie it all nice n pretty on the horse shoe knocker on the front door. Tellin him it’s so that we don’t forget this very happy n special day. We give Ash a big hug n burry ourselves into him tellin him how much we appreciated this gesture he did for us today. And Ash of course is equally happy n prayin that we don’t notice the massive bulge in his jeans. So we leave n drive back home to grannie’s finally. Leavin Ash to admire the new cute addition to the house…

After some more time we goin on a nature walk by ourselves in the late afternoon. Just enjoyin gettin out of the house for a bit. We figure Ash is hard doin his farm work so we may drop by later during our walk and wait for him when he done. As we walkin we see a car on the road drivin up. It’s a pretty luxurious lookin car n we really truly don’t think much about it n all. It starts to slow down n pulls up to us. The driver door opens and a man comes out…it’s one of our fuckin exes…

He gets all giddy sayin that he knew it was us from the dress we were wearin. And before we know it he pulls our hands into his n starts spewing how he was wrong to have dumped us and that we were the best girlfriend we ever had. Though it unsurprisingly quickly goes into him mostly degrading us. Tellin us that even though we have nothin goin on in our head at least we have the best bedroom skills he’s ever experienced. That’s something we actually good at doin n that we should get back together n pretend like our breakup never happened. Him continuously sayin too that we need him to survive and to be smart for once and listen to his words. To trust him completely. To rely on him completely. And that no man other than him can love n protect us as well as he can…

 We luckily go into autopilot safety mode sayin “no” to him n stuff. He takes this about as well you’d think…Goin “why the hell not!? What’s the matter baby? Country air messin with what’s left in that head of yours?” The man askin question after question. Accusation after accusation only to be met with a “no” from us that keeps increasing in panic and fear. He just snaps and starts to pull us into the passenger seat of his car. Tellin us that we just need some time and we’re heading back to the city now. Obviously we fightin our best and start to cry cause we scared as hell as we should be…

Just like out of a fairytale, or I guess one of them western movies, a lasso comes out of nowhere in the far distance and latches itself easily around the man’s neck. And before anyone of us can process what’s happenin. The man is violently choked and dragged to the ground with our cowboy beau’s silhouette in the distance literally pulling him by the throat. It doesn’t take much for the man’s body to go limp…though we don’t see that as Ash made sure to drag the body with his horse deeper into the tall grass before death finally came. And the wolves later if Ash doesn’t deal with the body first…

We cryin and still tryin to process the events that still happened. With Ash on his horse quickly comin up to us, dismountin it and holding onto us tightly. Doin what he does best and consoling us as we let it all out. After a bit he picks us up and placed us on his horse. Tellin us that we’re goin back to his house for the time bein since it’s not safe outside right now for me. We of course nod and just lay into his body. Lettin his comforting smell envelop us as our steady ride home soothes the rest of our nerves…

Back at his home Ash fixed us up with some hot cocoa and us bundled up in a cute pink blanket on the sofa. Lettin us take our time to compile our thoughts n speak when we wanna. Eventually we tell him thanks for savin us and how that man was one of our exes. We tell him how he was gonna take us back to the city with him if Ash didn’t show up when he did. And we joke how Ash is like our knight in shining armor ridin on his loyal stallion to save us time n time again. This isn’t the first time talkin about our love life n bad relationships with men to Ash as we’ve talked to him over the course of gettin to know each other. So we just enjoy Ash’s presence and lean into him. Too tired from the bullshit that happened today…

Ash bein the fine gentleman he is offers to take us home or if we’d like we can spend the night at his place. We take him up on that as we say we can use a friend right now. So we get better back to our normal selves gradually as the rest of the evening progresses. Cookin n bakin together all while giggling too. We eat dinner n dessert, chat some more n get ready to go to bed. Ash gets us all fixed up in a neat n tidy spare bedroom of many he got for the night. Sayin if we need anythin he’ll be in his bedroom. But he wasn’t expecting us to look at him weirdly n say “can’t you sleep with me tonight?”…

This takes him back a bit as we continue to babble sayin that this is what our friends would do with us back when something bad happened to us. Though they were girl friends and not boy friends…but to us there’s really no difference…So he responds askin if that’d make us feel safer n better he’d do it, albeit in a very very flustered manner. We squeal with delight and say we can just sleep in his bed then. No need to be cleanin sheets for a guest bedroom afterwards…

And so here we are lyin in Ash’s large ass bed in a cute pink baby doll nightgown tellin him to come settle in after he done with his shower after we went in first. Ash is doin well as you’d imagine thinkin that his dick n balls r gonna strangle him in his sleep that is if he can get any sleep tonight which he doubts. So we settle in bed together and as Ash closes his eyes n rolls over to his side to make sure we couldn’t feel his raging boner durin the night he feels our presence over him. We lean down and kiss him on the forehead n say “your suppose to wish each other good night silly”. And so he like a blushin bride about to cumbust from bein kissed for the first time by us. He stutters a quick apology, says goodnight to us and tries to focus on not dyin tonight cause he’s really fighting for his life right now…

And so the night progresses and he can’t sleep and neither can we. We poke Ash’s back a bit a whisper askin him if he’s awake. He grunts a yea. We ask him if he’s up for some “late night girlie talk” and he obliges us of course. So we start off nice n easy by askin him “do you ever think I’ll find true love?” And this psychologically springs forth Ash into action with his body turnin to us in the dark…

He doesn’t hesitate to say “yes” and starts spewin the most romantic shit ever. Tellin us that we’re the most beautiful woman he’s ever met. Inside and outside. He looks forward to seein our face every time. We always are so considerate of others. So selfless and that any sane man would fall on their knees for a chance to be with us…

We start tearin up a little sayin he doesn’t have to say that to us to make us feel better n all. We got poor self esteem of course and are in that perpetual compliment denial phase. And so Ash turns on one of the night stand lamps and asks us if he looks like we’re lyin to him. Of course we see nothing but sincerity painted across his handsome face and tell him “no”. He gently takes our hands into his and says “I would love to have a chance at bein with ya. Can I have a go? I promise you’ll never regret” as he looks deeply into our eyes…

And so we a blushin mess too now. The hopeless romantic in us quickly risin to the surface to break through as we pull our hands out from Ash’s and take his face to push our lips onto his. Pulling back after his surprised reaction with a “yes!” and smilin and continuin our attack on his plush lips. Ash eagerly accepts as the passion between us is utterly unchained. Both going at each other barely gaspin for air between kisses on the face neck and body…

Ash was wearin some trunks and a shirt to be polite to us since we were gonna be sleeping together with no funny business goin on but now those easily came off as he also tore off our own nightgown too to do the deed. And so the night was filled with nothing but love. Ash takin care of us in a way that’s never been done before and in a way we didn’t think that’s ever be possible. And us returning the favor and finally showin us our skills that we’ve always been complimented on. It almost become more of like a competition really seein who could make the other fall apart faster and let the other completely dominate them. Ash won eventually havin us mewl from his lips pressed against our nipples, cock rearranging our guts, and fingers rubbin our clit. The rest of the night quickly flew by and the mornin light was pourin into the room…

Alas after the night’s events Ash continued to court us. Tellin us that it’s what we deserved n makin us fall in love with him further n further. Grannie was delighted of course knowin that we’re in good hands for the rest of our lives if we decided to wed him. And Ash finally took us around town to meet the locals n everything since we still hadn’t really met anyone or made connections. Introducing us as his lady and makin it very clear of course that we were off limits. Though we never noticed that behavior from our kind hearted Ash…

Eventually Ash proposed to us in a beautiful landscape right outta a fairytale book and we of course screamed “yes”. We invited the entire town in one of those big open wedding events and also called on our friends in the city to come down too. Makin them sick with worry since we hadn’t been in touch for so long and they were worried about us since our ex came lookin for us a while ago. Though no one knew where he disappeared to in the end…Some people out of legal obligation had to search for him but with his history of substance abuse benders, no one was really surprised that he couldn’t turn up in the end. So it’d always be just one of those “don’t care cold cases”…

The wedding was splendid. Bein surrounded by friends n family. And of course walkin down the aisle to Ash. Movin into Ash’s was the easiest thing in the world too and Ash was thrilled to let us decorate the place more. And with all the fuckin we were doin durin the courtship it wasn’t really a surprise that we ended up pregnant. Walked down the aisle while we were pregnant though thankfully no one knew as we weren’t showing obvious signs yet. Wouldn’t want the locals to think ill of Ash or I thinkin it was a shotgun weddin or anythin…

In the end we got our happily ever after with our Prince Charming who’d always come to save us. And now we’re havin twins on the way to join us too. So we’ll be a stay at home mother and wife much to Ash’s relief as he wants us in a safe environment where he can always get to us easily. Ash also isn’t ever worried about money or resources. He got plenty to take care of us and our family. He wants a big one too. At least 5 more babies too. And we’ll happily oblige that wish cause he gave his heart to us just as we gave him ours. To love each other forever n forever.

Scene!!! I’m done with this AU! Thank fuck it was hella long! Way too long to be honest but it was honestly so much fun to write about a “Bimbo” Reader that I wanted to make sure I gave her a good amount of depth and didn’t make the story seem lazy with no build up or progression with evidence of Ash’s and Reader’s relationship. I wanted it to feel “earned” and plausible ya know?

I also wanted it to be clearly different from the City Reader AU as it’s fun to explore different characters/personalities and thus how the story will unfold differently for each of them. Didn’t want to have too many of the same scenes or scenarios either from the City Reader AU, so that’s why there isn’t “cowboy hat rule” for example in the Bimbo Reader AU. So fresh n new scenes with Ash. And I also had real fun explorin Ash again and how he navigates this new reader. Cause City Reader is obviously in a rush to get outta town and doesn’t wanna be in a relationship with Ash, so Ash is put into an extreme time crunch. Really showin his “yan” side in that AU. While in the Bimbo Reader AU the girls obviously not in a rush to leave or anythin and is more scared if anythin to be in a relationship again. She’s much more vulnerable and Ash understands that so like dealin with a spooked animal he knows he gotta play the long game with this girlie. As such this AU really showed his “dere” side more I think. Of course I included the twins n 5 more babies at the end cause I figure even in multiple AUs the existences of other characters still happen. So to me it wouldn’t really make sense if Reader suddenly only had 3 kids in this Bimbo AU or didn’t have twins at first pregnancy

So lemme know how I did. Lemme know if you enjoyed it or not

P.S. Girlie did you get my submission #4 or did Tumblr censor it and delete it or somethin? Do I gotta resubmit it to ya!?

Love 🗡️Psycho🗡️ Anon

I AM CONSISTENTLY BLOWN AWAY BY YOU OMFG THABK YOUUUUU I ADORE BIMBO READER SO MUCH SJDKDMDM THE WAY ASH IS SO SOFT WITH HERRRRRR OMFG YOU DID UR BIG ONE WITH THIS BABES DHDJDND HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEE