#Other than that'll I might post again sometime. Maybe

[fridayplanet]

I'm still on Tumblr btw happy new year

[always-just-down-the-street]

INANIMATE INSANITY 16 SPOILERS AHEAD!

ALSO EYESTRAIN WARNING!

Also this fan-art is based on the theory I made here, so please read this before checking out the fan-art below!

You beg MePhone to say he's lying. That you're real, that you were never supposed to win, that your conquest to save everyone from themselves hasn't been anything short of the only lie bigger than your continued existence. You try to think back to who you used to be and you can't, it hurts so much, she's dead and it's your fault, you knew you were unsalvageable but you didn't know it permeated so far into your being. The gilded cage you lost the key to. You feel yourself crack again and you pray it'll be quick but no, you just sit there, broken, crying, screaming. A winner forced into the role of the villain, the liar, the freakshow.

The only grace you can hope for is that if you go completely insane, maybe you'll finally be more like her again.

You stare at her. You see every day you had fun with her back in the first season, when things were simple and the world felt like it actually made sense. When you weren't burdened by the knowledge of what you really are. You can't help but laugh- why should you be so surprised? You were only ever meant to take the shape of the vessel you were given, who cared if it was a physical one or not? You think back to every day you saw her in the corner of your eye, watching you prance around in the hotel you stole from her. In the life you stole from her. She missed that and she missed them but she definitely did not miss you. You wouldn't even be surprised if she hates you, and the worst part is she has every right to. MePhone wanted you to be the villain, the person everyone hates, but things went wrong and she was forced to take that role instead. But now the truth is out. Her last good deed was saving you from yourself. You're still the villain.

And somehow you're the most surprised of them all.

-

The joy of being an artist and a theorist is that sometimes I get such a cool idea I can express it in both ways.

Yes, this is a sequel to my Netflix Trip picture with Knife and Suitcase, this time featuring our season one finalists OJ and Taco and Kikuo's Hole-Dwelling! (Originally it was Puppet Loosely Strung by The Correspondents but Hole-Dwelling actually goes INSANE with the theory.) It's based on the theory that I had posted of last, which (and I might go back to the original post to add this) I have now given an official title: The Misremembered Lanes Theory! Or AU, if this gets deconfirmed. You never know! But yeah, it is named after the Season 1 finale.

Just like last time, the models were done in Blockbench, this one was a lot harder because I had to wrangle with stuff like OJ's transparency, trying to pick the right face/expression for Taco- there was a version of this image where Taco had just gone. Completely mad/feral, but it didn't look as good as I wanted it to...but, I think I finally got around to a fun result in the end. Speaking of fun facts, my favorite little design thing I did for this: OJ and Taco's strings are colored like each other! Puppets literally and helplessly ensnared in each other's role. :)

Plus I already have an idea of who I might do a piece of next, so that'll be fun! So I hope you all enjoy this piece as much as you did the last piece and the theory itself, all fan-art is appreciated, and thank you for reading this far!

[ghostsandfools]

Solar and Lunar's Relationship is so Underrated

Alright. I already typed out like a whole essay about this in one of my friends dms (I am so sorry you had to read all that-) but I decided to post an even LONGER essay here! Because I can :]

Solar and Lunar are just... Just the best. I love them. SO MUCH.

Lunar:

Lunar was the first person that Solar met from the main dimension. Lunar was obviously terrified of Solar at first, considering he looked and sounded just like Eclipse, but I love how Solar treats him when they first meet. He says "I don't know how anyone could hate you" and "I know I'm not your Eclipse. but you're not a mistake" and is just super sweet in general. It's been a while, but I recommend y'all go back and watch that episode, it's "What if Eclipse isn't evil?! In VRCHAT" and it's genuinely so so adorable.

It took a while for Lunar to get used to Solar, but Solar was patient with him the whole time and I love that. He understood why Lunar was scared of him and was just as sweet as possible until Lunar could feel comfortable around him.

One thing I think is interesting is that when Lunar went in Solar's head, he saw the memory of Solar killing his Moon. I don't think he saw the exact moment when Solar shot him, but from the fact that Solar was still alive and had never told anyone about it, he could probably infer what happened. He knows it happened, but he never held it against him. He never told anyone, he never blamed Solar or called him a murderer, because at that point he knew he wouldn't hurt someone without a reason. He knew Solar was trustworthy.

I think it's nice how their friendship was developed more in the background. Solar and Moon were always 'the besties', always spending time together, working on projects together, and it was the same way with Earth. But even though Solar and Lunar never spent as much time with each other, I feel like they understood each other better than anyone else. Their friendship was special, even if it wasn't as prominent.

When Lunar killed Eclipse, Solar showed him the same patience and care and kindness that he's always shown. Earth was scared of him, Gemini was angry at him, but Solar understood exactly what he was going through, because he'd been there once himself. And just like Lunar didn't judge him, he never judged Lunar.

Solar:

In his home dimension, Solar didn't really have anyone that he could trust. His Moon and Sun BOTH died. In the episode he was introduced in, he explained that during the separation or sometime after, his Moon passed away, and the version we saw who tried to kill him was a copy of his Moon with the same memories. I wonder if that's why he's so unwilling to except what happened to Nexus, because he's seen it all before. And I wonder if maybe this will become a pattern, and what happened to his Sun will end up happening to ours?

Anyways. Solar had to come to the main dimension because his Moon tried to kill him and scrap him for parts and was just being an abusive asshole in general. It does remind me of Eclipse and Lunar. Solar was just a byproduct to his Moon, a useless machine he could use for extra labor, and when Solar wasn't useful to him anymore, he tried to scrap him for parts, desperate to get back his Sun, his star. In a way, I think Solar sees himself in Lunar. That's why they understand each other so well.

When Solar killed his Moon, he didn't tell anyone. I really wonder if that'll ever get brought up again, because he and Lunar have both been hiding it for so long. I can't imagine the guilt he'd feel afterwards, even if it was justified.

I'm going to talk about self harm now, so if you're sensitive to the topic, just scroll past this pink section.

Now, this might be me projecting, because i used to self harm and in a way, I see myself in both Lunar and Solar. But I can see the signs in both of them. Both of them, at this point, have got to have some kind of self worth issues. Constantly being told you're worthless is going to critically damage your self esteem, and it's clear that it's taken some kind of toll on them.

Solar is always working, constantly, and I think that's for two reasons. The first it to distract himself, of course, but i wonder if he's trying to prove himself. He wants to prove to his family that he IS worth something and that they don't need to punish him or scrap him for parts because he IS useful.

And Lunar is the same way. He hasn't shown as many signs, but he's had a lot of pressure on him since he came back. He feels like he has to be good with his powers, to keep both him and his family safe. He has quite literally got the entire world on his shoulders, with Rez threatening him and Taurus threatening him and worst of all, the looming threat that Gemini will probably never speak to him again if he can't master his powers, that's A LOT.

They're both dealing with a lot, and being constantly overwhelmed like that can drive a person to hurt themself. It's more of a headcanon with Lunar, but I could see it being canon for Solar. Like in one of the recent episodes where he was talking to Jack and said "Break the habit Solar- I mean, break the habit Jack!" I wonder if that's what he could be referring to? Idk, let me know what you think.

Okay, I'm done talking about that now. Anyways. When Solar died, Lunar didn't really react. Earth screamed and cried, Nexus went insane, but Lunar didn't really react. And looking at things from a surface level, you could say it's because he and Solar weren't as close, but i don't think that's really true. Lunar said he didn't really feel strongly about it, but how could he? With how much trouble his own emotions cause him in the past, how could he possibly? Maybe he didn't want to lose control of his powers again, maybe he didn't want Earth to be scared of him again. And everyone around him was already so sad, he needed to be stable so they didn't have to worry about him too. But just because he didn't have an outwards reaction, that doesn't mean he didn't care. That doesn't mean he didn't grieve, it doesn't mean it didn't effect him.

Sadly, we haven't seen Lunar's reaction to Solar's return yet, because youtube decided to chaunce around and be stupid, but I'm excited to see how he feels about the whole thing.

I have a little theory/prediction for you all before I end things off. Lunar got star power because he was rebuilt in space. Eclipse's lab was apparently next to the sun.... Maybe Solar will get star power as well? It would make sense, why should he not? He was rebuilt in space as well. It would be dumb if he didn't. Their lives are very parallel to each other after all, even their names.

Anyways. That's enough chauncing about from me, I've got to get to school. But let me know what you guys think! Are Solar and Lunar best duo 2024? Will Solar get star powers? Will the be fire themed and cool as fuck if he does? Does Solar is gay??????? I guess we'll have to wait and find out.

(Jesus Christ, you are DEDICATED, I don't know how you made it this far. If i saw a tumblr post this long, I would not have the patience to read it, you get a gold star for coming all this way ⭐)

[bisexualbaker]

Finding friends and things to do on Dreamwidth

I made a different post about this at an earlier time, but honestly, I think I can do better now.

Anyway! One of the things that sucks about moving social media and/or blogging platforms is not knowing if there will be enough activity for you at the new place. Be it from old friends, new friends, or interactive communities, there's a lot of ways you could find activity at a new place, but finding at least two of those categories can be tricky in itself.

Luckily, Dreamwidth has a few shortcuts for you already!

Adding new people to your reading page and finding new friends:

addme: Straight up a place to find new "mutuals" on Dreamwidth, with no particular focus; a good place to start!

addme_fandom: Same as above, but with a specific fandom focus! Interested in a particular fandom right now and want more people to talk about it with? Here's a good place to find fellow fans!

fandomcalendar: This is a community dedicated to announcing fandom events, which can include fandom-specific friending memes. (I'll be linking this one again later, as well.)

Getting started on Dreamwidth:

newcomers: A community dedicated specifically to helping Dreamwdth newcomers find their way around on a new site! I believe it was launched around the time Cohost was being shut down, so a lot of the people there now are Cohost "refugees", but it's still a good place to start.

dw_news: The official Dreamwidth news community. I highly recommend following this one and the next one, which will help you keep up with what's going on around Dreamwidth. DW News typically only posts a few times a year, but maybe that'll change if a bunch of new users come by...

dw_maintenance: Keep up with the mechanical goings-on at Dreamwidth! If there's a planned site outage or if DW is updating code, you can find out more here; if there's something funky going on at Dreamwidth but the site is generally still usable, it's also a good place to check.

Things to do on Dreamwidth:

dw_community_promo: The official Dreamwidth community for promoting Dreamwidth communities! People will promote new communities here, as well as events going on in established communities. A good place to find out about new things in general.

followfriday: A place to share links to check out once a week. Did you find a cool community that you want more people to know about? Link it in the comments here!

justcreate: A place where you can talk about things you're working on. There's a weekly check-in/reporting post, but sometimes people also organize body doubling sessions and other productivity-boosting things.

queerly_beloved: An anti-exclusionist queer space to get together and talk about all things queer, including intersectional matters. Hosts a weekly recommendations thread, but more and other content is very welcome!

Fandom things to do on Dreamwidth:

fandomcalendar: I linked this above, and I'm linking it again: Want to know about fandom events that are going on at Dreamwidth? This is a good place to do it! It'll also fill up your reading page in a hurry; you might be surprised at how many events are going on at Dreamwidth, or are at least connected there!

fictional_fans: A community for all fans and fandoms. If you've got a post you want to make about fandom in general, or a specific fandom that doesn't have its own community, this might be a good place to check out.

fandom_on_dw: Pretty much the same as above, honestly, but it's good that there's more than one place that hosts this kind of thing!

Anything else?

Search Interests: Individuals and communities can have lists of things they're "interested in". If more than one person has that thing listed, it may turn into a hyperlink that you can click to find other accounts with! You can also use the Search Interests function pretty much the same way. Simply type "cats" into the search bar, hit enter, and a bunch of accounts that have "cats" listed as an interest will pop up!

The Latest Things Page: Literally the latest things posted publicly anywhere on Dreamwidth. There's a list of commonly used tags at the top, if you want to narrow things down at all, but in the mean time, it can be pretty neat to see what J. Random Dreamwidth User just posted about!

The Explore Tab: Useful links for Dreamwidth in general. In addition to linking to the Latest Things Page, it can take you to a random account, the FAQ page, and more! Worth checking out if you're feeling lost.

And that's all I can think of at the moment! This should help you get started at least, and help fill out your reading page a bit.

If you still have questions or want to do more, you can check out my Dreamwidth 101 tag; I'm also happy to at least try to answer any questions myself. I'm pretty sure I've got a few "Dreamwidth for Tumblrites" guides linked in my Dreamwidth 101 section, if nothing else...

[accirax]

Disventure Camp All Stars Power Ranking (Round 6)

And, we're back! I'm so glad that the leaking issue didn't wind up making the team have to delay their episode releases, both for their sake and ours. I've been highly anticipating this teaser release, and look forward to cracking into the next round of Power Rankings.

In case you didn't see my last power ranking for Episode 5, the Power Ranking Format is essentially a way of ranking how well each player is doing in the game. So, in essence, this is a long form way of predicting who I think will be eliminated from the competition in the next episode. There will be spoilers for last week's episode (obviously) and its power ranking, so make sure to read that first if you don't want to be spoiled on how I ranked our last boot. If you want more clarification on the rules, that first post will help you out as well. Furthermore, I'm going to be spoiling the preview for next episode, so if you want to go in TOTALLY blind, save this for later. Let's go!

Recap - Connor's Elimination

Current Point Total: 9 acquired/14 possible

'Cause now we have lore! >:D

Well, turns out that my assessment that the Season 2 cast was safe turned out to not be true. At least Connor was my second lowest positioned of the S2 characters, and my bad vibes about the Yellow Tribe were on point... Yeah, that's some copium right there. Seems this whole predicting business might be harder than I thought. Genuinely, though, I'm glad that Connor was at least in the better half of the contestants ranked (barely).

While I'm a little disappointed that Connor didn't make it farther this time around-- I think his placement was nearly identical to how he did in S2-- he wasn't particularly one of my favorite characters, so the loss didn't hurt me that deeply. Instead, he was an understandable sacrifice in terms of making the villains out to be more of a threat, much like what I theorized for Grett. Lesson learned that sometimes the most obvious boot from a tribe simply will be the boot.

Trailer Analysis

Looking back on the last power ranking, I feel like I could have done a lot better if I'd been paying more attention to what we were shown in the preview beyond the song snippet. So, combined with the fact that I'm just really excited to figure out what's going on next episode, I decided that this time around I'd take a closer look. I've never been a fan of analyzing a trailer so closely that you basically spoil the entire story before it happens, but, I don't think that'll happen here...? Depending on how accurate I am, maybe this section will suddenly disappear next time. Who knows.

So, a compilation of relevant things that I think will happen next episode:

Connor and Trevor will have a conversation. While I doubt that this will have anything to do with the elimination order, it is interesting. I'm guessing that Connor will give Trevor some sort of advice regarding his feelings for Derek? Or, even if it can't be counted as advice (given the L he took with Riya), Connor could at least relate. I don't think this is foretelling that Connor will reenter the competition now, though.

Somebody set up a trap to catch a squirrel. My guess is Tom, as a continuation to the drama between Gabby and the others over killing and eating animals. (Aiden confirms in Episode 5 that catching the chicken was "Tom's trap.") However, it could also be something related to Jensen and/or Trevor and Derek, if they started trying to kill the forest animals again.

Yul will take more orders from Emily to make Grett happy. This means that this is an ongoing plotline.

Tess and Ally will reunite at some point. Interesting.

Tom and Jake are definitely going to fight. Given that Tom looks surprised in one screenshot and regretful in the other, I think he's going to realize how much his relationship with Aiden has been hurting Jake.

The challenge will be contestants pushing balls of yarn(?) down towards other teams' arches, trying to score a goal, while other members of the teams try to block them. All teams appear to have arches and people pushing balls. This is definitely another challenge taken from Survivor, I think possibly Gabon...? I'm pretty sure that, in real life, they had to stop doing this challenge because it injured people too much, but that's the beauty of animation!

At least Yul and Aiden will be knocked down, which could be a good thing or a bad thing. Does that mean they gave it their all to stop a ball, or that the ball trampled their attempts to stop it...? Focusing on the second screenshot, though, the Cyan team is stopping yellow and magenta balls at the same time. Assuming the contestants have any say in where they aim, I wonder if the Yellow (Grett) and Magenta (Ashley, possibly Fiore?) teams will align to target Cyan because they have five members. That could be an in-universe reason to keep the teams even with a Cyan elimination, despite Cyan being pretty physically fit.

"Sure, princess. Whatever floats your boat~!"

Given Fiore's placement in both of these screenshots, it seems like one image must happen right before the other, so Fiore is probably addressing Jake. She sounds really confident and mocking... for some reason? Not saying that's out of character for Fiore, but did something happen to make that confidence warranted as opposed to her anger at being on the bottom? Here are my two guesses: 1) Fiore, Ashley, and Ally have made a girls' alliance, so Fiore is dismissive towards Jake because she knows he's on the bottom. 2) More likely, this might have something to do with Tom and Jake's fight. Jake ran in to urgently tell Fiore something, which could be about a development in Tom and Jake's relationship. Fiore doesn't care, so she gets sassy. I'm honestly kind of confused by this, but we'll see what happens.

Those are all of the scenes from the trailer that I thought were important/I was actually able to get something of value out of. Onto the main event: the actual Power Ranking!

Power Ranking

#1: Jake

Other than... being a S1 character, I guess? There really isn't anything that makes me think that Jake would be headed home this week. He's entrenched in drama, he seems to have the numbers on his tribe, and I don't even think that Magenta is going to tribal. To me, it's so clear cut that I don't have much to say. If he does go home, I'll be very surprised.

#2: Alec

Woah, check out that jump! From 12th to 2nd. Adventure Camp Dan wishes he could've had that when moving to Disventure Camp.

Now that Alec has survived one Yellow vote-- which turned out to be Connor-- I think he's pretty safe. The idea of Riya, Yul, and Grett suddenly now turning around and all working together to eliminate their leader feels laughable, given how dysfunctional the three of them are. Like, could Alec really lose that much social capital in the span of one episode, in a challenge he'll presumably be good at...? I'm kind of anticipating a merge at 12 (Episode 7), so I'm hoping this would confirm that Alec makes the merge.

#3: Ashley

Speaking of making the merge, I honestly think that Ashley will be there. After exploring some more of DC's behind the scenes content (the charity livestream they held 4 months ago and Silly Billy's S1 cast interviews), I've come to learn that the DC cast really likes Ashley... for some reason.

Look, it's not like I hate the gal! I just don't see her as the standout, heroic and hilarious character that a bunch of the voice actors seem to. Because I held this opinion, I was unaware of the possibility that Ashley was brought back because she was some huge fan favorite that everyone wanted to see done to justice. If that's the case, I have a hard time seeing the DC writers eliminating her as a premerger again.

I don't think Magenta is going to tribal, and I think that Fiore or Ally would be more natural boots than Ashley would be anyways. Congrats on ranking this high even though you're currently being hunted for sport, S1 girl. I still don't think you're going to win overall, but you'll probably make it through the day.

#4: Yul

Another big jump! Yul's new position is aided by two major factors. The first is that he's one of only two S2 boys left in the game, after James, Hunter, and Connor were eliminated (side note: I did NOT notice that the game only started with three boys from S1. I wonder what level of safety that grants them. Why did they bring back every S1 girl except Lill. That's so many.)

The second is that the plotline between him and Emily is clearly continuing to have relevance. Perhaps I'm relying too much on the rule of threes, but it would be strange, in my opinion, to have Yul lean on Emily for assistance more than once, but still only twice. Perhaps Emily's character was largely designed to assist a major Yul plotline, after all.

He also doesn't seem to have suffered too greatly from that stage light falling on his foot last episode, which bodes well for his odds. Unfortunately, it seems like the viewing public is going to be subjected to Yul for a little while longer (/lh).

#5: Aiden

Woohoo, the other surviving S2 boy. I honestly wanted to put him higher, but the fact that I'm really feeling like Cyan is headed for tribal couldn't let me justify higher than 5th place.

And, there are genuine reasons why I think he could go home now. If that conversation between Tom and Jake ends in them reconciling, the writers might not want Aiden around anymore to continue being a barrier between them. (And, now that the music episode has passed, they don't need to keep him around for his pipes, either ;).) It's been long enough now since Lake's elimination that I don't think Aiden's elimination would feel super weird. He's had a bit of a chance to play for himself, so if his fate now becomes to hang out in a cool hotel with his boyfriend and bestie for a couple of weeks, it wouldn't seem so bad.

...But I still think Aiden isn't going home, dammit! Knowing DC, I doubt Tom and Jake would make up so early unless one of them was going home, not Aiden. They love the drama. Tom and Jake's relationship is more likely to get worse before it gets better. Not to mention, I still find the "James returns" theory very compelling. Although the Cyan girls have plenty of reasons to eliminate Aiden, I still don't really think they would.

#6: Ally

Is it just me, or would Ally's elimination feel... really random right now? Like, how would it happen, and what narrative point would it serve? The show has very deliberately shown Ally bonding with each and every member of her team. She's had multiple one-on-one conversations with Ashley cementing their friendship, she grew closer to Jake by relating to him through song, and was always the one to defend Fiore from Hunter's attacks. All three of them have reasons to like her and want to work with her, so why would they let her go?

However, Ally doesn't cement a higher placement because I do think there are ways that they could swing her elimination. It's possible that the writers only established relationships between Ashley, Jake, and Ally so that there'll be high stakes and tension between which teammate Ashley and Jake will pair with if Magenta does go to another vote. For Ally to go home, they would have to choose to side with Fiore, but that's not totally unreasonable given how they voted last time.

The fact that Ally and Tess seem to reunite in this episode is also troubling. We have the dangling plot thread from last episode that Ally is worried that she and Hunter won't be able to spend that much time apart (which she believes is good for them) before they have to reexamine their relationship. If that fear turns out to be true, I could see that giving Ally an opportunity to quickly get some advice and closure from Tess would allow her to head to the Losers' Motel with a plan of how to handle Hunter in the future.

I still don't think that Ally or Magenta has anything to fear with tribal, though.

#7: Tess

A definite downgrade from last week, but still not that terrible. A lot of Tess' new placement is that, as I keep reiterating, I think Cyan is very likely to go to tribal, so it's hard to justify putting anyone on Cyan too high.

Having the opportunity to reconnect with Ally is also potentially bad for Tess, although probably less problematic for Tess than for Ally. If the writers were like, "well, Tess got one conversation with Hunter and one with Ally, now she's out!", that would be kind of silly, imo. But, still, that chat will eliminate the sort of "immunity" from getting booted that I gave Tess previously.

It's also not like there's no reason for the Cyans to take out Tess here. The swing vote is usually a fairly protected position, as both alliances should be looking to her for aid. But, if neither side finds her trustworthy enough, they could unite to take her out. I can definitely see a potential character arc of Tess' indecision taking her out from the game. If she can truly never make up her mind about whether to trust Ellie or not, everyone could unite to take out their unreliable teammate and save their own asses.

However, from a narrative perspective, this would further postpone the conflict between Ellie and Aiden, which could be kind of anticlimactic. It would also throw away Tess' character over a trait that wasn't even particularly pronounced in her original appearance. Then again, we saw what the writers did to Hunter, so we can't be too sure that Tess isn't headed in a similar direction.

#8: Grett

Much like Alec, I'm a bit less worried about Grett in this episode after we had the Yellow elimination last episode. She's also picking up points from (presumably) being involved in the ongoing Yul and Emily plotline, which could give her some plot armor moving forward.

If Yellow is headed to a vote, I don't really see why Alec and Riya would choose to eliminate Grett over Yul. Riya really dislikes Yul, he's still possibly injured, and Alec has a history of working with Grett, even if it ended on kind of bad terms.

Why put her so far below Yul, then? Well, first of all, Grett is a meta-threatened S1 girl, while Yul is a meta-protected S2 boy. Secondly, I do still think that Yul will probably be the cause of Grett's elimination at some point down the line, even if it's not this episode. Perhaps I should make an overall theory post talking about some of my thoughts on potential endings someday. And, third, I actually did think of one reason why Alec and Riya would choose to keep Yul over Grett... kind of. If Emily wanted to keep Yul in the show for whatever reasons, she could use the earpiece to instruct Yul on clever, strategic things to say that could also convince Alec and Riya that he turned over a new leaf. Basically, it's possible that Emily could girlboss her way into keeping Yul in the game, rather than Yul staying in due to his own merits.

There are other S1 girls (and others) that I believe to be in a spicier position now than Grett, though, so she lands at #8.

#9: Fiore

With Fiore, we enter the realm of players that I seriously believe could be in danger of elimination this episode. Yes, despite my claims that I think Fiore could be the winner, I do think that, if Magenta goes to tribal this episode, Fiore would be the boot. I just don't think Magenta really is going to tribal; ha ha!

It's really that whole, "whatever you say, princess~" that has me worried for Fiore. I'm concerned that, after getting a taste of power with the Hunter boot going her way, Fiore has become overconfident in thinking that Ally is definitely the next boot and that she will make the merge, whenever it is. (Basically, Fiore would think that Ally's presence gives her enough of a buffer that she thinks the merge is essentially secured.) If she goes back to demeaning Jake and Ashley, they could easily choose to turn on her and protect their newfound friendships with Ally instead. Fiore's status as a S1 girl isn't helping that read.

Again, I feel like all of the current Magenta team members are probably going to make the merge at this point, so Fiore should be safe. However, as (in my opinion) the most likely Magenta boot, Fiore winds up at #9 in case of emergency.

#10: Gabby

Thinking back on it, other than being a S1 girl, my reasoning behind Gabby's elimination wasn't that strong.

Or, maybe it was, before Ellie absorbed even more of the villainous energy last episode with her comments about torturing Jake. With comments like that, it becomes even harder to believe that Tom and Aiden would choose to target Gabby instead of Ellie. The farther Gabby makes it into All Stars, the less of an excuse there is for her to be eliminated with very little focus beforehand.

Still, I think Cyan is in trouble, blah blah blah. If some sort of twist does occur that gives Ellie individual immunity amidst her team-- and I don't think that would be a totem, as Ellie using a totem on herself and inadvertently sending Gabby home would basically require her to make her totem publicly known before the vote-- then they could target Gabby instead.

It is harder to predict DC than Survivor because DC has more of a penchant for pulling random shit out of nowhere, like that vote in S1 where Gabby just straight up obliterated Ashley. I wonder if that relationship will reemerge later in All Stars... Gabby would probably need to be around for it to happen, so, clearly, she should stay in.

#11: Tom

When I was drafting out my initial thoughts for this list, I originally put Tom really high. Like, top 3 high. But, the more I thought about it, the more I started to feel like Tom could be on the chopping block this episode.

For starters, the love triangle. I said last episode that, because Tom is the central leg between Jake and Aiden, he wouldn't be at risk of elimination. Well... I take those words back, sort of.

Let's look at it this way: if you eliminated any one of Jake, Aiden, or Tom, what would happen? If you eliminate Jake, Aiden and Tom are left. That's pretty boring, because then they could just be friends without any particularly strong (or at least personally motivated) opposition. If you eliminate Aiden, Jake and Tom are left. That's definitely better, because Jake and Tom could simply continue the will-they-won't-they plotline on their own, but you'd still lose Aiden as an obstacle without Jake having any hand in it.

If you eliminate Tom, Jake and Aiden are left. In my opinion, this is by far the spiciest option. Jake would probably be super mad at Aiden for not doing enough to protect Tom from getting voted out, leading to Aiden being justifiably angry that Jake has been so aggressive towards him despite Aiden not wanting Tom to go home, either. I think that having Tom's two "love interests" left to fight each other without him actually being there is the most interesting way in which one corner of the triangle could be eliminated.

But that's all about why Tom "should" be eliminated; what about why he would get eliminated? There are a couple of possibilities here, too. First of all, that argument between Jake and Tom in the preview, which ended with Tom pretty clearly being remorseful about what he did. If Tom gets super demoralized about screwing things up with Jake, it could cause him to be seen as a liability. Or, in an extreme case, Tom could feel so guilty about his and Aiden's kiss that he would ask the girls to target him instead of Aiden.

Alternatively (or even additionally), we also saw that squirrel trap in the trailer, which I said could be hinting at further conflict between Tom and Gabby over the team's diet. If Gabby got really fed up with Tom's carnivore side, she could ask Ellie if they could target Tom instead of Aiden, which Ellie might agree to.

Despite all this, I can also totally understand why the writers would want to keep Tom around. After his kiss with Aiden, his visibility and importance seem higher than ever. If James does return to the competition later, having him chat with Tom would be... interesting, even given James not caring that his boyfriend was stage-kissing another man. And, Tom potentially has a winner plot set up, given that the writers found it important enough to tell us what Tom would do with the prize. With Cyan likely going to tribal, however, the possibility of a surprise Tom boot felt more viable than ever. I'm not putting him in last place, but if Tom does wind up going home, I'm gonna feel pretty smart.

#12: Riya

Much like Fiore, Riya is here as my safety net for who I think would go home if Yellow does wind up going to tribal instead of Cyan. However, I feel like a third Yellow tribal is, on the whole, more likely than a third Magenta tribal, so Riya gets kicked all the way down here.

Without Connor as a shield, Riya is in a much worse position. Yul already dislikes Riya in general, but that only increased after she caused the light to fall on him, and would only increase more if he ever learns that Riya was the one to fire that stray vote at him. Grett would probably work with Yul, which is already 50% of the votes against her.

Alec is definitely Riya's best lifeline, and it could work out in her favor. After all, if Alec continues working with Grett and Yul, if they go to tribal again, the couple would most likely vote him out. However, I think it's really a question of how much longer Alec thinks he has before the merge.

Here's my logic: if Alec thinks there's still a long time until the merge, then, yes, it would be better to work with Riya to have a chance to eliminate Grett or Yul. That's because, the more team challenges there are, the greater opportunity Yellow has to lose again, and the greater possibility that Grett and Yul vote him out.

However, if Alec thinks that the merge is soon, it's better to vote out Riya. If Alec and Riya managed to eliminate, let's say, Yul, then Alec is essentially losing two members of his villains alliance-- one due to Yul's elimination, and one due to Grett presumably withdrawing. Alec has already burned her once before.

That would cause the villains alliance to go into the merge with a maximum of only four members: Alec, Riya, Fiore, and Ellie. The other teams have already been primed to believe that the villains are a huge threat, and with such small numbers, they would be very easily eradicated. Even beyond others, Fiore and Ellie might also be mad at Alec for him dragging them onto his sinking ship of a plan, and try to desert as well. My point is, sticking with Riya could go really badly for Alec.

So, combining that doomsday scenario with me at least thinking that the merge probably will be soon, and the fact that Alec choosing to side with Riya would only put them at a 50:50, NOT a majority, and I can totally see why Alec would choose to vote for Riya.

And, that's not even taking into account Riya's poor behavior! The Yellow Team did lose the singing challenge due to Riya's influence, and they suffered during the diving challenge due to her fear of the depths, too. She's a challenge liability. She was also shown hogging the shower, and is now sunbathing during camp life, proving that she's not a team player. She has way too much confidence in her "power position," as she put it last episode, for where her game actually is. If it's not Cyan that goes to tribal, I can totally see the threads coming together to lead to a Riya elimination.

#13: Ellie

It's just simple math for me at this point. I think that Cyan is almost certainly going to tribal next episode + I think Ellie is by far the most likely boot for Cyan's next tribal = I think Ellie is really, really likely to be the next boot. She's even a S1 girl.

My argument is pretty much the exact same things I said last episode, except now they're even worse. The screenshots from the challenge now make me think that Cyan will go to tribal next episode, as opposed to my confusion about why Cyan would lose a music challenge. We also saw that Ellie has begun to prioritize suffering over strategy, which both increases the odds that people like Tess would want to take her out and decreases the odds that she'd be able to pull off an intellectual move to save herself.

I'll honestly be pretty surprised if Ellie doesn't go home next episode... but, hey, I was surprised by Connor's boot last episode, too! If Ellie does manage to survive another episode, I wonder if I'll have to start reconsidering putting her so close to the bottom. Part of it would depend on how she survives, of course.

The only way to know for sure is to actually watch the episode myself, so, see y'all on Thursday! Thanks for reading!

[downforthegas]

The late night hor//niness struck me again and I was given this idea out of no where:

The Welc//ome Ho//me cast of characters except they’re all farting on you

Ok byyYYYEE-

Yooooo you know what? This post gives me the perfect opportunity to reveal my fart headcanons of the characters: how they fart and their attitudes towards it (and how they would feel farting on you) (long post)

Number 1 is Wa//lly Dar//ling🍎

This little guy doesn't fart around anyone unless he's really close to them, like Ba//rn//any or Ho//me. He likes to be a gentleman about it and maybe sneak off to a quiet place to toot if he's around other company. But more often than not, Wa//lly let's it slip accidently. He's such a little guy, if he has too much gas, he can't possibly hold it in for so long, which in itself is kind of embarrassing. And what do his farts sound like, you might ask? There's no sound! Just a gentle breeze *Fffffffffffffsssssss...* that smells vaguely of rotten apples. You almost wouldn't know he farted, only his blushing face giving him away. Sometimes he'll let out a particularly smelly one that makes a noise. A tiny noise like *Blrt.* or *Prt.* That'll make you go "aww." If he was asked to fart on you, he'd be a little confused. He's been taught that farts are rude but knowing that you find them delightful makes him feel good about it. But he's more comfortable doing lap farts. Face farts (especially bare butt face farts) get him so flustered.

Number 2: Ba//rn//aby B. Be//ag//le🐶

You wanna talk CONFIDENCE? Cause that's our be//ag//le! Man will fart anywhere, but will make sure his little buddy doesn't get caught in the wind storm. He does think it's funny to fart on Fra//nk though. Sometimes he'll use his farts in his gags or jokes, like farting into his microphone (and potentially blowing out the speakers), or saying things like, "That sure was a gas!" right before ripping a loud one. He would do the fart in a jar gag, but his farts are so powerful, he just breaks the glass. Yeah, his farts are loud, and burn your nose with their potent stink (as dog farts do) and given his size, they sound a lot like *BBBRRRRRPPPBBBRRRRRRRTTTT!* You'd be lucky to not pass out. Or at least get into a coughing fit. If you wanted Ba//rn//aby to fart on you, for one, you'll be buried under a huge, furry dog butt that stinks, but you'll be hit with enough gale force winds that'll knock you unconscious on the first fart. Still, he'll do it anyway. He's not one to yuck anyone's yum.

Number 3: Fra//nk Fra//nkl//y🦋

Just the OPPOSITE of Ba//rn//aby's attitude. Knowing him, he'd be WAY TOO embarrassed about farting, way more than Wa//lly. I imagine he's not a very gassy person, but whenever he gets gas, he'd try his hardest to hold it in until he's home. Or at least sneak off to a private spot. Because of this, he ends up getting bloated, his stomach distending enough to stretch the buttons on his vest. Ed//die has to be the one to rub the farts out of him, since Ed//die's the only one he's comfortable farting around. But he does get embarrassed when he needs help. But Ed//die doesn't mind. His gas usually gets held in a lot, so it's usually very long, like *Fffppplbbblllrrrrrt!* sounding a little wet and a little airy. Sometimes he'll try to *ahem* spread his cheeks to fart quieter, but sometimes that only makes it come out more wet sounding. If you wanted him to fart on you, it's gonna require a lot of convincing. But if he knows this is your thing, he'll happily do it, but only if you don't talk about it afterwards (unless you want to fluster him).

Number 4: Ed//die De//ar💌

Such a clumsy, scatterbrained mailman, I can't imagine it's easy for him to hold in his farts. Anytime he needs to, it just happens no matter what, and leaves his face burning with shame (but Fra//nk thinks it's kind of cute). He'll be holding a huge stack of packages and a huge fart, and trust me, neither of those are gonna be held for long despite his efforts (poor guy). They're not much, just little *BRRRRT!* or *FLRRRRRBBBBTTT!* mainly from his jeans. They do stink pretty bad though. But it's ok cause he's shame free about it around Fra//nk. If you wanted him to fart on you, he'd be a little awkward about it at first, but he'd still comply. He'd be more comfy lying on his stomach with your face in his butt, since he'd be scared of crushing you.

Number 5: Pop//py Par//tri//dge🦚

Ooh, the resident worrywart. She's the kind to think she's got something deeply wrong with her when her stomach hurts, only to be relieved (in both ways) if it's just gas. Like Wa//lly's, they're quiet and airy, but have a slight sound and only last one to two seconds, like *Ffft.* and *Ppprrt.* and they gently blow the strings on her apron. They also smell a lot like bird seed, since that's what she mostly eats. She'll also often wave her wing behind her after each one, despite how little they stink. She's very close to Sa//lly and Fra//nk, but its still hard to get comfortable farting around them. When asked to fart on you, she'll need heavy convincing just like Fra//nk, but when she's comfortable enough, she'll be gentle with you. She's a big bird after all.

Number 6: How//dy Pi//ll//ar🐛

Oh jeez, it's almost like we're talking about Ba//rn//aby again, except it's not as bad (but they're still pretty bad, trust me). I feel like it's implied he's vegan (he's a caterpillar so...) so I imagine he mainly has veggie fueled farts. They're not as potent as Ba//rn//aby's but they're still very stinky and powerful, and blow his apron strings so hard, they twist together, something like *BRRRRRPPPPPPRRRTT!* He's only really comfortable farting around Ba//rn//aby (who I imagine have fart contests together). He tries to keep his farts from slipping so as to not scare off his customers, but it's hard when all you eat is leaves. But it's mainly to keep the customers around. If he wasn't in his store, he'd be a little more comfortable farting in public. When asked to fart on you, How//dy would totally go for it, even if he does think it's a little weird. He'll even make a deal with you that if you can sit through his smelly farts while standing the weight of his body, you get a 50% off discount at his bodega.

Number 7: Ju//lie Joy//ful🌺

Being a rainbow monster, I feel like she actually has lovely scented, fragrant farts. Like the smell of strawberries or lovely flowers. It just seems like something a rainbow monster would do, but I like to think certain foods (maybe eggs or dairy) can turn her farts rotten. Her fragrant farts can be used to set a pleasant aroma in the air if there's no incense to use, and if she farts on a wilted plant, it'll be revived. Because of this, she's 100% confident farting in public, it doesn't matter who it is she's around. Sometimes her farts flutter her dress, being a little forceful and not as gentle as you may think. Farts typically sound like *Ffrrrrrraaaapppp!* a little wet, a little loud, and mainly high pitched (sometimes they hurt Ba//rn's ears). If you want her to fart on you, it won't be much trouble. She's totally down to endow you with her flowery scent and leave you feeling fresh.

Finally number 8: Sa//lly Star//let☀️

Let's end this long post with a bang. Sa//lly's a star, stars are made of gases, stars are also hot, therefore, Sa//lly has some loud, hot bubblers, like *SPPLLLRRRRBBBBBRRRRTTTSH!* and she has them a lot. But you'd never notice cause she's an expert in hiding her farts. No one's ever heard her fart (except maybe Pop//py), and if anyone heard it, they would never think it would come from Sa//lly. And when I say hot, anything she sits and farts on is left feeling hot to the touch. It's pretty embarrassing for her, even in private, considering the star she is, and believes she is. She also gets some pretty bad stomach aches from holding it a lot, but she won't dare go to anyone to relieve the pain. She'd much rather do it herself, even if it takes a while. Her farts are also full of helium so she's able to inflate balloons with her farts. And if you do want her to fart on you, you better be ready to be yelled at for even requesting something so disgusting. You'd have to either piss her off enough to warrant such punishments, or hide in her dressing room and wait for her to blow off some hot steam. Just be prepared for the room to get hot and stinky, and for your voice to get higher in pitch

~

Ahh, to be with a gassy puppet! Sorry this post was so long, but your message made me so excited, so I just had to get these headcanons out. I might release more headcanons soon, but they'll be more situational based and not general like this one. Anyway, thanks for the post! Currently thinking about the neighbors all farting around me in a circle, all the different smells and sounds ringing out... it's nice hehe

[schizochasm]

Hey.

I know I've been inactive.

So here's the run down.

(TW; recovery(?) warning long post)

I'm now eating once every day.

On Saturday (my shopping day) im making it twice/ day.

Im currently in recovery.

That's why I haven't been here.

As it might make me go back.

I still have a cold/ the flu. So I can't work out yet.

Once I get better from it I'll work out.

I have a whole plan set.

Muscle building mon, wed, and Friday.

Cardio Tue, Thursday.

5k steps/ day.

Saturday is my cheat day/ rest day.

Only steps that day.

Cheat within reason.

I won't be counting kc4ls as that'll trigger me.

I'm done losing w3ight.

It's about getting fit now.

So once I'm over this flu I'll work out and get the body I want.

I'm also Very bloated. Chronically.

So I hope eating and some probiotics will fix that.

Other than my bloated stomach I'm fine with how I look now.

It's partially due to staff and my friend being worried too.

I'd love to hit ~the number~ but I guess I won't.

I know I'm sk1nny.

I just need to get toned. And less bloated.

I'll be pretty inactive due to this space making me want to continue f4sting/ losing w3ight.

I will update sometimes.

I'll still be here.

I care about my mutuals.

But I'll be less active overall.

Once I start working out I'll post more again.

But beware that I'll go from f4sting and losing w3ight to working out and recovering.

I've decided not to post my wl journey.

As it will trigger me and let's be real...

Who is it helping?

It's just for my own validation.

Which I can let go of.

In the same vein I won't post my BC progress or f4sting records.

It won't help anyone, it'll just make y'all sicker.

I'm doing my last w3ight in tomorrow for my tracking app.

And maybe I'll do one every once in a while after.

But tomorrow is my final regular weigh in.

I'm done.

I'm sk1nny.

I have like no fat left to lose.

The rest is working out.

Which will be my new obsession.

So yeah...

It's a recovery/ work out blog now.

I won't unfollow anyone as my mutuals are my friends. And I care about y'all.

But yeah...

This blog bout to change.

I made it.

I did it.

I'm done.

Time to get the fit body I always wanted.

Thank you for reading this Huge post!

If you read it all you're one of my treasured mutuals.

And I love ya.

You're part of why I'm not unfollowing blogs.

Thank you for reading.

And thank you for being a relatable person in this lonely mess. 💕💕

[thesoulesscollection]

Cotton Tail

Hybrid au request - Everyone in the stickmin universe is a human/animal hybrid. Can be any character and or romantic pairings. Any genre is fine

Now this is based and inspired from the post by bluebutlikenotalways. It may not be exactly like you wanted but kinda??

This one took me so long to do (like all my projects, requests, and so forth) and I'm sorry for that one. But here's a one shot from an old-ish Au I had that features one of my fav ships

Tw/Tags: Biting, Minor Blood. Mostly affectionate fluff here. 

"You're sure testing your limits here, lil' bun" 

"I know" As a cute, very fluffy and allegedly delicate bunny like Ellie, she was testing at the limits she can do with an imposing tiger like her boyfriend. 

"Keep it up or I'll do something" 

"Sure you will, big guy" She chuckles, calling out the tiger's bluff, leaning her squishy hip against the door. "Gonna keep looking or what? You like what you see?" 

Intimidated, face heating up to excruciating levels Right thickly gulps the growl stuck in his throat, "You do" 

On the balls of her feet, practically hopping in excitement, light reddish brown fur stands on edge, she openly smirks, head tilted to bare her neck. 

"I know. Like I said, baby. Whatcha gonna do about it then? Where did my big, bad beast go?" She grins, devious, knowing her words will impact the other. Which it did, he stomps over, cornering her with a deep frown playing on his scrunched face. "I can't see him. All I see is a quivering cub. If that's the case, do you want me to get your papa then?" With his face twitching, he postures like the wounded beast he truly is, towering over the tiny rabbit, she can't help it to enjoy the spectacular view from her angle. The huge size difference had her squirming, smug grin turned goofy. 

"Still here, bun" Stiffly watching the tiger, Ellie waits for what he's planning for her. "I won't leave you even when you get on my nerves sometimes" In a quick swoop she's picked up by the scruff with one large hand, careful to not hurt her while the other on her thigh secures the hold. 

"Hey?! Watch it!" A gasping squeak later, the sudden action startling Ellie until his low rumbling purring settles her down. 

"Cool it. You're safe" His damp breath hits the nape of her neck. His elongated canines are lightly grazing across the tender flush under the furr. Tense muscles didn't let up though but she's keen at the lovingly doting, almost hungry attention. "Relax. You asked for this" He gently reprimanded. A soft nip on the spot between her neck and shoulders finally got her to ease up.  

"Maybe I did… But I'm fragile bun bun. You have to be careful" Lightheartedly joking she bites at her bottom lip, restraining the urge to rut when her short tail is pulled on. 

"More than that, cottontail. We know that you're feisty" 

She laughed, loud enough to bounce off the wall. It was true after all she might be a 'prey' who a lot would normally overlook due to her adorable appearance. Yet she's determined to prove it otherwise, she was a ball of hot fury. Like always a bloody fist fight with her already high strung emotions meets her at the top of the steepest horizons. Again she dares to cross the line once more in order to get under her tiger's allegedly thick skin. 

"Yeah? What are you going to do to me then?" 

In retaliation, he bit down on her neck, the sensitive glands. Hard. Thankfully, it's not enough to kill her. Just a deep, colorful mark that'll last for days, weeks even if either one is lucky. Clearly a sign of possessiveness, to show who you belonged to, Ellie mused, her eyes twinkling from unshed tears. 

"S-shi-!" She held the curse back. 

Spiked tongue tentatively licks up at the wound, Right soon pulls away with a wide, sharp toothed grin, likely proud in the action. 

"Need to bite me that deep?" Right shrugs nonchalantly. "Okay… Heh, maybe I did ask for it. A little" He buried his face deep into her soft fluff, another purring escaped his throat, turning to a satisfied cat. 

"Hm… You're so fluffy" He compliments. 

Ellie preens in return, "Thank you" 

[hollow-dweller]

20 Questions (for fanfic writers)

tagged by @abcd-em, thank you beloved <3

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

26!

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

134,413

3. what fandoms do you write for?

mostly spidey and pilgrimage, but i dabble in other fandoms--mostly voltron, which i had thought i had escaped the sucking quicksand of but alas seems not to be the case

4. top five fics by kudos?

all the wonders i have seen (i will see a second time)

leave the rest to the gods

Unconscionable

when darkness comes upon you

sew your fortunes on a string

5. do you respond to comments?

i try to! transparently, i sometimes get overwhelmed and while i love receiving comments and re-read every single one a million times, i do sometimes have a hard time actually responding. i cherish every single one but also my brain was cursed by the gods.

6. what is the fic your wrote with the angstiest ending?

probably my pilgrimage fic, everything's growing in our garden. it's very rare that i write for vibes but phoebe bridgers' Punisher had me in a chokehold and that is definitely reflected in that fic, short as it is. it's my most "closure denied" ending, that i've posted anyway, and i think that ups the angst factor.

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

pilgrimage fandom gets the top spot here too, with love sent to me. it's probably the most straightforward romance/get-together fic i've written, and AU to boot, which are both anomalies for me. but i have a great deal of affection for that fic, and i love the tenderness of it.

8. do you get hate on fics?

the closest i get in spidey is generally people being demanding about updates, which i usually just delete. there is one particular troll in pilgrimage who crops up every once in awhile to leave "hate" comments on various peoples' fics, and i've been hit with that a couple times, but that's just a pathetic person wanting attention so it doesn't really count.

other than that, i really have the best commentariat anyone could ask for.

9. do you write smut?

yes! i firmly believe erotica is an important tool for examining characters and their relationships

10. craziest crossover:

i don't write crossovers exactly, so i'll cop out and point to the spidey/twilight fusion au since it is crossover-adjacent

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge! and hopefully i never will

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

again not to my knowledge! there are few things i would find more flattering

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

alas, no. i love the prospect of it, and have gotten to the outlining/ideating stage with a few people in the past, but again i'll be fully transparent in that i'm not the most reliable person to attempt that kind of project with. maybe someday, and i'm definitely open to it!

but also: it's me, hi! i'm the problem, it's me.

14. all time favorite ship?

i'm a libra with adhd, asking me to choose a favourite is a hate crime.

from the lens of fannish engagement or creation, which to me is different but not unrelated to loving/shipping a couple as it is represented/written in the text, it's probably any combination of Ned/MJ/Peter, either platonic or romantic. i love an OT3, i love frenship, i LOVE where NWH left us and the possibilities we can explore with their relationships to one another.

15. what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

if i truly doubt a wip will get finished, i don't post it. everything i've posted is something i fully intend to finish, i just can never say when that might happen. i can't predict the future obviously, so maybe that'll change, but i re-read my posted works relatively frequently and have a genuine desire to see them all complete at some point. even the ones that i reread and can see how my writing has since improved, or think i could have executed better, i still have love for and interest in. if i didn't, i'd delete.

16 & 17. what are your writing strengths and weaknesses?

combining these two because my writing strength is a reflection of my writing weakness: i'm very good at elaborating on ideas, not so much on coming up with them whole cloth. what i mean by that is i'm most comfortable, as a writer, coming up with creative and even novel divergences from canon, and making the corresponding changes in characters and plot that would result from those divergences. i'm good at the "what if" of fic.

the converse is that i'm not great at speculation, of figuring out "what happens next". so much of my post-NWH stuff, for example, is about exploring potential emotional and relationship-based realities, but doesn't have "plot" in the sense of being developments of the story of Peter Parker as i imagine it might happen in the MCU. even fics like we said our dreams will carry us, which i bill as a kind of post-beyond the spiderverse speculation fic, doesn't actually deal with the nitty-gritty of what i think might happen in the next movie. how things actually happen in this imagined version of beyond the spiderverse is secondary to the emotional fallout of those events, and that's what i'm writing about.

both these flow from my primary analytical strength/weakness: i am great at interpretive analysis, and fucking terrible at predictive analysis.

18. thoughts on dialogue in another language?

it is. incredibly difficult to get right. i studied languages and translation in university, and i still hesitate to write dialogue in other languages into my fics. it's not just a matter of getting the language itself right. that in and of itself is difficult, but anecdotally speaking i find that most native speakers of a language who read fic are incredibly kind and polite when making corrections to the language.

what takes me out of a fic is the manner in which other languages are integrated, and how very poorly that is usually done. "oh sorry it's hard to switch back" has become a meme, but a lot of the use of languages other than English, when written by non-native speakers of the languages in question, read as just that clunky and incredibly disconnected from how polyglots actually speak and switch between languages.

having said all that, language is an INCREDIBLY important part of culture, which makes it an equally important part of the characters who speak--or whose families speak--other languages. as someone in spider-man fandom, Miles' Puerto Rican heritage and both his and Rio's relationships to that heritage and the spanish language are important elements of his character. when i write Miles, and especially Miles & Rio, it's important to me that that is incorporated. like anything, it takes research, and thoughtfulness, and humility--try your best, and be ready to be corrected if you get it wrong.

19. first fandom you wrote in?

harry potter (derogatory), back when i was a wee skelly

20. favorite fic you've written?

i once again point to the libra with adhd of it all, and then direct you to my favourites series on ao3

Tagging: @weezly14 @mysterycyclone @saltwaterpanda @gooddaygalaxy @ambivalentcats @shrinkthisviolet @anarchyduck and anyone else who wants to!

[softsky-daily]

12/29/2023

I forgor

Positive thing: I watched more 逃げ恥 and rested a lot and got back into viddy games mode.

The post-birthday sleepiness was very real today. I slept in and basically lounged around all day and watched cooking videos with my roommate friends which was nice. I got really caught up in playing Binding of Isaac (which I'm actually still doing now since I'm trying to finish a run) and I'm pretty much down to less than 100 achievements left. Maybe next year will be the year I finally 100% the game. For reference there's 600ish achievements and getting to this point has taken quite a while.

I also have lots of other stuff to play but I get really easily swept up in one game at a time and it's hard to move my attention sometimes. But tomorrow I'm playing Monster Hunter again with my friend (hi) so that'll be fun.

I also promised myself I'd finish my icon commissions before 2024 so this weekend is gonna have to be it. We shall see.

Anyways, it is kinda crazy to think about how the new year is literally on Monday. I think 2023 was actually one of the better years I've had. Being able to move out last year and start my grad program and stuff was very stressful but now that it's been a year I think I'm finally settled and able to be a bit more positive. Being able to get to the point where I can study Japanese again is honestly crazy to me. It felt like the biggest hurdle for a very long time. But maybe I'm just built different now.

I don't really have plans for New Years but my roommate friends might have something in mind. I think last year I was in a Discord call with another friend and we just watched the clock on our computers roll over into 2023. I was thinking of making sticky rice because my Mom would always make it for New Years, but that'll depend on if I remember by Sunday.

[shitty-goose-quack]

hey! pippa here :-)

i was wondering how common it was for a system to have very few people, like under five. also, whether it’s possible for it to be very rare that anyone other than the core (i think that’s the term) is in control?

Hi pippa/helena I am Quinn, I'm also the core, or at least the most like our core. Systems can come in all shapes and sizes, I am part of a traumagenic system (meaning my system formed from trauma), and you'll find that there is a lot of hate and discourse about traumagenic/endogenic systems (we personally try to stay out of all that). in any case, if you are also traumagenic then jake and whoever else might be there formed so that you didn't have to deal with all the trauma all the time. That doesn't mean that having only a few headmates (parts, alters, people in your head, whatever term(s) you chose to use) is because you didn't have enough trauma, it could be a bunch of things, but please don't feel invalid because you only have a few.

-switch lol, thea they/she now-

it's also possible that you guys haven't learned how to unmask yet, some signs of that include

feeling foggy all the time

not being sure who you are at any given moment

feeling like you're faking it

jake being able to pretend to be you very easily and quickly

it's very common when you first realize you're a system, because the point is not knowing you have headmates. So, maybe Jake is just the most vocal/different headmate, and in learning that you'll discover more.* or maybe not, maybe it's just you 2 and that's okay too!

as for your second question yes, that is also possible, and in that case your core would also be your 'host' or the person who fronts most often

quick side note, core is typically used to refer to the child who was there before splitting (usualy around 7), and from splitting to realizing you're a system it's assumed that a bunch of people fronted until you realized. Then the host, which is usually (but not always) the person in your system that goes by your birthname, identifies with that gender, etc. Anyway, hosts are technically the people/person that front the most often, but we use it like "the people that the rest of us pretend to be like"

.switch back to Quinn.

There's also stuff called co-consciousness, which would be like you can hear jake in your head but you are the one in control, and co-fronting, which would be like you are both in control and talk to each other.

So yeah I hope that answered your questions, sorry for the late reply again, I think we're in different time zones. I can link you to some recourses/answer more questions if you want, just let us know

edited by Quinn: *yeah that seams like that's what happened after reading your posts, colored text is a really good way of keeping track, good job! im proud of all of you for figuring this out, and for making picrews (we still can't make picrews and we've been aware for going on 8 months lol). i just want to remind you all that being foggy is okay. not knowing who's who is okay. not knowing when switching happens is okay. don't beat yourselves up about it, it'll come with time and practice, and it wont hurt anything if you accidentally mix it up and type as someone else. you'll learn and move on. It might sometimes feel like you're faking it, that'll also fade with time. remember: people know if they're faking something. people know if they intentionally set out to fake something. if you didn't, you're not faking. If it turns out you guys are not a system but it turns out it's something else, it will not hurt the anyone, you'll just have made a mistake in figuring out who you are, and that's okay. We love you and we're rooting for you 😘🤗.

[p5x-theories]

Since you talked about the phantom thieves already, what do you think of their personas and their designs and aesthetic and who well do you think they match up visually to their respective phantom thief?

(In reference to this post)

I'm flattered you actually want to hear more of my design opinions, hehe! Sure, I can talk about the Personas too.

TLDR here is that once again I do just think they're all neat overall! There's fun stuff going on with all of them, and I enjoy the details put into them, even if sometimes maybe there's a few details I'd change slightly to make the designs that extra bit more coherent.

Also, I'm probably not going to really get into how well I think they fit the historical/mythological figure they represent, because I feel that's less the point of Personas (as opposed to sort of... representing that figure through the Persona user's vibe/aesthetic/will of rebellion, if that makes sense, haha?), and also because I'm unfamiliar with nearly all of these figures so I'd have to do a bunch of extra research to even try to get into that aspect, to be honest.

Let's see if Tumblr actually keeps my formatting this time...

Starting with Janosik!

Overall, I kinda like him! He has an extremely distinct design, even besides his predominantly white palette that's uncommon in P5, haha. His head... hat... thing? Is a little weird, but it's weird in a way that I kind of like, because it makes his head stand out from the Personas with more human faces. He feels humanoid, but not human, which is a good middle ground for Personas to be in, I think? I also really like the jacket off his shoulders, and the way the red inner lining of it makes his white legs stand out even more. And his little braids are a fun detail.

His torso and upper legs are... okay, I'll admit, not quite completely sure what's supposed to be going on with all those details. But it at least feels like a "not quite sure what's going on here" that's familiar to the Persona series, if that makes sense? So it's fine, I guess. He feels like he belongs in this series.

As for how he matches up with Wonder... honestly, he feels like the Persona, across all the Phantom Thieves in the various P5 games, that matches up with his respective Phantom Thief the least, to me. He and Wonder really only share the red- Janosik has whites and golds while Wonder has blacks and silvers- and I guess maybe you could argue their weird foot/shoe shapes, haha. While Cendrillon (Violet) and Pandora (Sophie) also don't directly resemble their thieves much, in both their cases I feel like they differ in ways that say something about the thief in question, whereas I'm sort of hard-pressed to figure out what the visual difference between Janosik and Wonder says about Wonder. Maybe that'll be more obvious once we know more of P5X's plot, and then I'll feel differently?

All that to say, I like their designs independently of each other, and at least they (somehow) don't feel like they actively clash when they're next to each other, but they don't really feel like a matched pair at all, which is a shame.

Awilda!

I actually really like Awilda's design- she may be one of my favorites in P5X! The sharklike hood/cloak thing is so distinct both as a clothing article and for Awilda's silhouette, and it's easily my favorite part, but I also like that the rest of her outfit feels loosely piratey without going so far as to seem like it's encroaching on Captain Kidd's territory in my mind.

I'm not entirely sold on the hat... thing? And ponytail? That she has going on, but I don't think they actively detract from her design as a whole, and that one might just be personal taste.

As for how she fits with Closer, I think Awilda's a good example of a Persona that doesn't feel quite identical in vibe to her thief, but doesn't look out of place with her, either. Awilda seems a bit less athletic and a bit more refined (or professional?) than Closer does, but her color scheme feels like it was expanded from Closer's (the blue coming from Closer's eyes, and the white from her hood's drawstrings), so there's a sort of unity between them anyway. They could maybe be a bit closer (hehe), but it does work as-is, I think.

Rob Roy!

Mechs aren't really my thing, but I do like how Rob Roy feels relatively unified even for all the individual parts. I like his weird talon feet, because they sort of tie him back into being a bird's Persona even if nothing else about him really registers as "bird" for me. I guess the black part on the top of his head maybe is intended to be reminiscent of Cattle's feather tuft things, as well?

I do get a vague samurai sort of vibe to him, with the head shape loosely reminding me of a samurai helmet, and the pattern on his upper legs reminding me a bit of that style of armor? But I also think that kind of helps me process what's going on with his design overall (makes it a bit easier to pick out the broader strokes of what's going on, rather than getting caught up in the details), so I don't think that's strictly an issue.

His color palette does a nice job tying him to Cattle without feeling like a complete mirror of how the colors are balanced in Cattle's design, which really helps in immediately identifying him as Cattle's Persona. The white face, with the red piece kind of mimicking the point of Cattle's beak in between his eyes, adds to that. Aesthetically, I'm not sure he directly connects to Cattle? But the fact that he's a mech, and Cattle's a little guy, sort of makes my brain fill him in as resembling a big toy to Cattle's little kid vibe, as much as I don't think Cattle would appreciate that description, haha, so I think they work together all the same.

Mandrin! (Switching to game screenshots now because the datamined Persona transparents have weird lighting and are rarely full body, haha)

Mandrin's a little funny to me because the single pop of blue is such a thief color design thing for them to do, and yet he's a Persona. But that aside, I like the hat + coat + glove combination he has going on! Those, with the noose, make him feel like a dangerous outlaw, which is befitting of a Phantom Thief's Persona. The sharp teeth pattern, which feels sort of like a mask he's wearing but also sort of like it's just his face, also helps him from feeling completely human, so that's a nice touch.

The spiked cuff on his right hand (which isn't super visible in either image I have here, hah) does feel just a little out of place to me, especially because his design (minus the weapon, hat brim, and a few little details) is very symmetrical otherwise, but it's also not something you really notice unless you're looking for it, so I think it gets a pass. The lightness of his upper legs, though, is a little weird- he's wearing some kind of pants or extremely tall boots, and the tops of those being lighter than most of the rest of his design brings a weird sort of focus to them? It's, again, not disastrous, and at least it doesn't feel like the color itself is out of place on him, it's just a bit odd because if you squint your eyes to see what stands out the most, the impression is that his teeth, noose, and upper legs are being framed by the darker jacket.

Alongside Soy, his shirtlessness at least seems to sort of "explain" the strange thing going on with Soy's top a bit (as I mentioned in the other post, haha). They go together quite well, with similar but not completely identical vibes and color schemes, though because they're so similar it could be argued that it draws more attention to some of the parts of Soy's design that don't match Mandrin (ex. the icy blue gloves that stand out more than Mandrin's black glove, the blue chest that stands out more than Mandrin's dark grey chest, etc.) and therefore could be a bit detrimental to the impression the two of them give off together. But they do go together, and you'd immediately be able to guess that Mandrin goes with Soy if you saw a lineup of all the Personas, so I think they really fulfill that aspect at least.

Prosymna!

Prosymna's design is another one I really like. The weird, slightly alien arms and hands immediately make you think Psi, and there's a sort of fishy aspect to the pattern on her headdress, scales on some of the silver metal, and flowy lower dress that really appeals to me. The harp strings also feel really well-integrated in her design, adding to the strange/alienness of it while still being recognizable as a harp.

It could be said that there's a little too much going on with her, especially around her head and lower torso, but I think overall her body underneath is readable enough that you don't get totally lost on what's going on with her. You can still pick up the sort of alien harp fish lady thing that's going on, and process her pose without too much trouble.

Her and Kotomo's color schemes go together, so she has that. I'll admit, I'm not sure why Prosymna has the alien/fish/harp thing going on when none of those seem to really be reflected by Kotomo? I assume some of it must tie into Prosymna's mythology, but it does make them feel a little aesthetically mismatched, even if the color scheme saves it in the end. They look like they go together until you start inspecting what's going on with Prosymna a bit more closely, so she can sort of sneak by, even if that could have been tied together a little better.

Cleodora!

I like the very regal, kind of "queen bee" vibe that Cleodora has going on. I also think it's funny that the massive base she has reminds me a bit of those spinning fairy toys (if you're not familiar, google that phrase and you should see what I mean, haha), but is probably more intended to be Okyann's dance stage. She coveys a royalty vibe very clearly, and I don't really have any notes on anything about her that I actually dislike!

At least, in and of herself. Admittedly, the fluffy collar, and face, do remind me just a little of Terpsichore, but they're so visually distinct otherwise that I'm not sure it's really that much of an issue, and honestly may just be me haha.

Persona-wise, I do have to admit that her vibe doesn't really go with Okyann's outfit or demeanor? I guess there's almost loosely a connection that my brain wants to make between a sort of "queen bee"/popular girl and a gyaru, but I'm not sure that really exists or that I can actually articulate it really, so it feels more like a disconnect than anything. Her colors work fine, even with the added touches of blue, but Okyann feels more like a late 90s/early 2000s pop star, befitting of her gyaru theme, whereas Cleodora... does not. I guess maybe it could tie into some aspect of Kayo's personality we haven't really seen as much yet, but at least from the surface level, it is a little dissonant. If she were still regal, but toned down a bit/otherwise reflected Okyann's outfit a bit more, I think that'd solve it?

Syke!

I'll admit, hands down my favorite thing about him is that he has a book like we see Kii with in his AOA (and also as a confidant). Not the exact same book, but it doesn't need to be- it's just cute to me that that's reflected so directly by his Persona. Anyway, that aside, the flaming tree situation Syke has going on is honestly pretty fun. He sort of feels like if a tree's leaves were consumed by flames, and then that tree, still on fire, got turned into a guy? It's a silly way to describe him, but that's kind of the impression I get from him, even as he looks like sort of a serious guy, haha. I really like the orange cloth trailing off his shoulders, because it kind of contributes to the "flame" impression without literally adding more fire (which would start to get excessive, if they had added more fire).

I'm not sure I really have any notes on him? Maybe that the boots being white sort of pulls attention away from his upper half a bit, but that feels like it reflects Kii's outfit enough that I'm willing to excuse it.

As for how well he goes with Kii- even aside from the book thing, he's an interesting one, because he's actually a lot more colorful than Kii himself, with the kind of stained glass look he has going on, but it works, because it supports the exorcist/priest thing that Kii has going on in the first place. It feels like it adds more context to Kii's outfit when Syke stands behind him, which is what Personas are doing about 95% of the time, so it honestly really works even if their aesthetics aren't quite identical. Syke feels like his aesthetic complements Kii's, rather than strictly reflecting it, which I think is part of why I like him so much!

Erytheia! (Or Ekedena in the files- still not 100% sure what's the right translation, but that's neither here nor there right now haha)

I like what he has going on! To the point where, if I'm being completely honest... I actually think he pulls off the vibe Leo's supposed to be going for better than Leo's outfit itself does, haha? It's very asymmetrical, but it doesn't feel too complicated or unbalanced, and honestly even the green belt kind of works because it feels like it's more a combination of the blues and yellows (rather than just a random chunk of green in a sea of dark colors) because of the patterns that Erytheia has.

Of course, I don't think literally recreating Erytheia's outfit would be the right call for Leo's outfit, haha. It's a bit more gladiator/Greek mythology than I think would be suited for Leo himself, but I think it really conveys the concepts and vibe overall in a more effective manner.

Which is to say- I think Erytheia actually goes very well with Leo! Similar color schemes and patterns, but a level of distinction between them, makes them feel very much like a pair that goes together without being literal twins. If Leo's outfit were a bit more cohesive, I think Erytheia would fit in perfectly as a slightly more historical hero, while Leo would look like a modern hero. As it is, like I said earlier, I think Erytheia currently conveys the goal of Leo's outfit better than Leo does, haha.

Meng Po!

I think my favorite parts of her design are the huge shoulder armor things, how those woven-looking strips wrap around her, and of course, the way her skirt attaches (?) to her torso, because it sort of makes it look like her skirt's another bowl of soup that she's sitting in, just a little. Admittedly it's a little silly to describe it like that, but that's honestly what I enjoy about it.

I do think there's a little too much going on in the way of colors with her. Just blue or just green would've been enough (maybe combine them into a single teal instead, even?), but as it is there's sort of a weird conflict of attention between the various blue and green bits that feels just a little disorganized, and a little too much when set alongside all the red on her design. The blue in her bowl, of the tassels, and in the lantern (?) pulls my attention around like competing magnets, and away from her face, while the green bits are all roughly the same shape and kind of in a line going from her face to her mid-torso to the end of her skirt, so my eyes kind of zigzag across her rather than processing what's actually going on.

These two aspects may just be my personal preference, but the way the woven strips attach to her head, and the lack of anything else immediately around or above the top of her head, do also make her look a bit bald, and I'm not a huge fan of those red things around her eyes and the way they curl at the ends, either.

As far as fittingness for Rin, I think the overall red-white-black-gold works, and even (if adjusted) the blue/green could work, because it gives a somewhat more embellished/ethereal look to Meng Po which works for her as a Persona and goddess. As it is, the blues and green are a little much to have both of behind Rin, but I think if those were adjusted like I was talking about above then it'd solve that.

While (that aside) her look works with Rin's, though, I think her demeanor seems just a bit too peaceful for how energetic Rin is? Personas do tend to look a bit more serious/detached/etc. compared to their users, throughout the series, but Meng Po looks very happily poised and calm in a way that even knowing that does still strike me as a bit odd in comparison to Rin. Or, in other words, Meng Po's design fits Rin, but her attitude sort of makes me start to wonder what it is about Meng Po that actually makes her represent Rin, as opposed to seeing Meng Po is Rin's Persona and going "Oh, okay, the fact that they're a little different expands my understanding of Rin as a character!" Though, again, maybe I'll understand that better once we get to know Rin as a confidant?

Terpsichore!

I feel like I like aspects of Terpsichore more than the overall look. The dark hat and mask make her golden eyes pop very nicely, and make her feel just slightly menacing and otherworldly (which is always a good vibe for a Persona design, if you ask me, haha). I also like the icy cloak/cape and tutu-like thing going on around her waist, because they really sell the winter vibe she has, befitting of an Ice Persona belonging to an ice skater. And the ice skates she has, themselves, are a nice touch.

I do, however, feel like there's a bit of a disconnect between the head + hat and the rest of the outfit? The extremely top-heavy hat, which I love on its own, doesn't seem suited to the more delicate, literally ice crystal skater that her frilly skirt and lower body seems to convey. This might actually be as easy a fix as making her cloak also a dark color like her hat, and possibly the ice skate boots as well? Spreading that around would put less of that heavy emphasis on her head alone, though if they wanted her to look like a light, delicate ice skater, then it probably would've been better to forego the hat entirely (which would be a shame, because I love it). She also has, like, a lot going on on her lower legs out of nowhere? There's some blue lines that trail down from her tutu, and a white fuzzy thing at the top of what appears to be fishnet over that, and then a dark blue... something past that, which ends in a different white fuzzy cuff at the top of her ankle boot ice skates. I think maybe simplifying that area a bit- probably cutting out the fishnets and the first fuzzy things at least?- would go a long way.

She does feel suited to Mont, though, in terms of vibe. It's a little bit of an easy win, I think, since going for a refined ice skater kind of vibe is of course going to mesh well with Mont, but it does work. It just... sort of makes me wish Mont has some of those fuzzy bits and/or the dark hat and mask as well, haha... But the fact that I like Terpsichore's design a little more than Mont's aside, I think it gets the job done, and they fit together without feeling identical.

Sytx!

Styx is cool. She sort of feels like some kind of clockwork soldier? Or, you know, an Anti-Shadow Weapon, which is sort of the same thing on a base level, hehe. She feels a bit like an intricate doll, but not quite so fragile as the words would imply, and there's a variety of things going on with her design but I think they go well together. The asymmetry of the white is nice without being too attention-grabbing.

Probably my biggest question is why there's that blue part on her hammer? Why isn't it that dark purple like literally everything else that isn't black, white, or that dull gold on Styx? Her hair also sort of strikes me as a bit odd, but hair color not matching the outfit is a little more normal for human characters, and it's at least still a muted color that sort of helps draw some attention to her face without drastically standing out. Why is there a random blue bit on her hammer?? Why not at least make it a brighter shade of purple than the rest of the design?? I just feel like I'm missing something??

Her connection to Yuki's aesthetic is also a little loose to me. There is a sort of dignified air and general shared color scheme (though Yuki lacks the dull gold), but I guess the clockwork/machine aspect doesn't quite mesh with Yuki's sort of twist on the Phantom of the Opera look in my mind? Admittedly I'm not super familiar with the Phantom of the Opera, and maybe it would click better for me if I was, but as much as I like Styx she's another one that feels like a bit of a disconnect from her thief to me.

And last but certainly not least, Leucothea!

I love Leucothea. Leucothea feels silly and over the top, but not to the point where I can't take him (I know the mythological figure's female, but since Seiji's a guy and it's the series standard for the teammate and Persona's genders to match, I'm going to use he/him here?) seriously as a Persona design. This may have become obvious over the course of this post but I love giant hats. I love that Leucothea's has that birdcage built into it. I LOVE the floofy feather tails. I love the gigantic white flower. It's all over the top without being too much or feeling unbalanced.

I think if I had any complaint, it'd be the tufts on the side of the shoes? The shoes in general are fine, and I think the white color works, but something about the shape just feels a bit off to me relative to the rest of the design. Maybe that it looks more like smooth wisps rather than the feathery shape of similar details on his outfit? Not sure exactly, but I guess that'd be my nitpick if anything.

As for fitting with Seiji- it feels like they got so close. Admittedly Leucothea feels more like an aristocrat while Seiji feels more like a revolutionary, but I think as stated above that that sort of distinction does work to an extent given the nature of Personas as mythological figures that come from the Sea of Souls to represent a human's true self? As much as Leucothea's a bit over the top, it's not in such a way that it feels disconnected from Seiji aesthetically.

It's really... really... just the color scheme. I don't understand why Seiji's gloves are bright blue! It could work as a nice contrast against Leucothea, but that solid, saturated blue is not the right shade to do that if that's what they were going for, and Leucothea has so much more gold/yellow/red going on, compared to Seiji's almost complete monochrome, that his gloves just jump out at you for how they don't match. If Leucothea was blue (and maybe green?) instead of the yellow + red, or if Seiji's gloves were gold, or red, or maybe even just a less saturated yellow-green, I think they'd go together much better immediately. Even straight up Wind element green gloves would make more sense at least for the element match. It seems like such an odd decision to me, for a pair that otherwise works very well, to have the colors in their otherwise monochrome outfits be so different.

-

I hope that's what you wanted! It was fun to think about how the Persona designs go with their thieves, especially since that's something you don't really get to do with the Persona games before P5 as they didn't get special outfits with them. Besides character design, I also love character analysis, though I tried not to go too deep into that here when we've only seen the first two Palaces of the game and barely know most of the teammates outside of how they function in combat, haha.

[wildegeist-old]

Update with the music stuff I guess.

The other week or something (idk how long ago it actually was and cba to check, I don't process time the way normal people do) I made a sort of distraught post about my music productivity and lack thereof. I mentioned I wanted to release a Crypt Patrol and a F6M album this year that I had been working on since last year before the thing that affected me happened, but also mentioned how I wasn't sure if I'd be able to complete the albums at all and might just scrap them and put what I do have finished in the next Dataflow (which is, again, my album series of outlier and extra tracks). But I was also not fond of the idea of scrapping the albums. I think I know what to do now though, in a way that'll still get the tracks out and not make me feel horrible, though it's definitely not a perfect solution and it'll definitely be a mark of how this past year has gone for me musically.

So what I've decided is the Crypt Patrol release I was working on is just going to be shortened to an EP. It was the one I wasn't as far into anyway. I just have maybe another track to finish up and it'll be ready, I think. Depending on how long that takes, since... well, you know it's been hard for me to make music.

The Freneti6m release... I'm gonna not scrap and continue working on slowly, and it'll be ready when it's ready. It was already a bit over half way done and the album was something I was super passionate about, I can't really stand the idea of just tossing the tracks into Dataflow, especially with the grand theme I had going that I was excited about.

So that's what I'm gonna do. Crypt Patrol album is gonna be an EP instead, and I'm gonna finish the F6M one at my own pace. And maybe after that I'll be healed enough to move to new musical projects with a fresh mind.

I don't really know when or if I'll be able to talk about the complexities behind why my motivation with music specifically has been so poor in public- there is a cause, there was a situation, it's not burnout or general depression or whatever, and I am sad and angry about it. Not even most close people to me really know cause it's a hard topic I've only been direct with maybe two people about. I want to scream about it, but I can't. So I'm just gonna keep trying to make music and heal. It's all I can do. Even if it feels kinda like I can't do it much these days.

Sometimes I receive nice messages about my music and I genuinely appreciate it all and it means way more than you think by the way. Those aren't lost on me, I swear- if anything it's helped me make the decision to at least carry on and not totally scrap these projects. I'm just going to be slow is all, and take it easy. Thank you.

[great-now-im-confused]

Look shit is going to get bad. It's always going to get bad. But with that it means it'll get better too. What's good and bad is different for everyone. Many things that are bad for you know might stay that way. But many of them will also progress and change and actually get better. Beyond that thought, if you stay and you fight, you will get better. Maybe it is your family that'll always be crazy, maybe the political world will be beyond bleak for the foreseeable future, but if you stay you'll be able to see the things that will improve and will be good. I know so many of us have so much on our plates right now and the results of yesterday and dreadful. But please stay. I promise it'll be worth it.

Sure everything you hope for might not happen but you'll never get to know the things that WILL if you stay. I know the point of this post is mostly to address the dread many of us feel after the election. And I fully get it trust me I do. But as someone who has made that choice before and I am so grateful it didn't work for me to be able to still be here I want to share a few things.

"it gets better" is both right and wrong in my opinion. Yes sometimes the things that have you down so bad that you walk that path can absolutely get better. Sometimes they don't though and while that sucks it's okay. Because as I said before, YOU get better. (Not to run into "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" stuff because I get it, why do we have to be strong) You grow, you learn, you change. And with that growth and change your state of mind often changes too. Admittedly my life isn't too different from when I reached that point, but it's also so much better in so many ways. I'll use my family for an example. My family is so chaotic it's overwhelming and that hasn't changed, what has changed though is my ability to cope with it. I am still the one everyone runs to to fix problems. I still try to fix those problems more than I probably should, but I have started to learn to say no and to put up boundaries with them. So while yes it hasn't changed for the most part the growth I've had within myself has allowed me some space from all the chaos and it's truly helped me.

Then there's things like medication and therapy that's has helped immensely along the way. And I fully understand that not everyone has the same access to things I have been lucky enough to have along the way as the journey is different for everyone. And especially given the outcome of yesterday those things may become even harder to obtain for others. But I will say I also thought a lot of those things were out of my reach and I started asking the right questions and made it a little father (again this won't be true for everyone but hopefully will be able to at least a few)

I reached a standstill with progressing in my career because I didn't know what to do next. One day I got super lucky and met a new person who gave me so much guidance (more than I think they know) and it reignited my passion for my goals (again I know I am super lucky to find myself in that situation). My point with that is we have to be able to reach each other because you never know who you can help (with something that may be simple to you) and who can help you. You don't get to experience that if you're gone.

I'm not trying to get into my whole story or journey but I'm trying to share enough that it makes sense and is understood when I say I know what it feels like to be that low and I know what it feels like to overcome it. So please trust me on that.

I know things are scary right now. So much is uncertain and on the line. But you won't fix it by overly stressing about it and you won't fix anything is you don't stay. Times are going to get challenging and it's going to get hard and rough, but we will always be able to do something about it, especially together. So I can't help you if I leave and you can't help me if you go.

So take some time to process you frustration, your grief, and your fears. Then when you're ready take a deep breath and be prepared. Be prepared to take action. Figure out what is most important to you that you fear will change with the coming times. It could be your number 1 thing it could be a top 3-10 depending on what you have the energy for. And. Then start to learn. What can you do to help, what can you do to make a change, how can you make a difference. Then make a plan. When we all taken action things will start to be okay again.

But we can't inform each other if we're not here. We can't help if we're not here. Like OP said times have been bad before throughout history and humans have survived and we'll survive this. If you need a reminder and it won't mess you up too much look into the things people have preserved through (try not to focus too much on those tragically lost to those times because that won't help in this situation)

I know this is long and has gone all over the place but I needed to get this out because it's just part of everything swirling in my mind lately. So, sorry is it's a little hard to understand my points, if you'd like to reach out to discuss any of it with me if gladly try to be more clear on some of it I just was trying to not fully take over OP's post with my response (which I know I more than likely have by now, SORRY OP) this post just resonated with me and everything started flowing. So please just stay even if it means me typing all of this out was worth it and because you are worth it and we will work together to make it better

I hope none of you disappear in the coming days. Seriously don't do anything that can't be undone.

[kai-the-foley]

Kai-yaking through life

Episode One

23/08/2024

I'm going to Quebec in less than two weeks to participate to my first ever theatre festival. That sentence still feels unreal to me, yet I've known about this for the last 6 months.

I've been doing theatre since I was 13. I'm 20. And in less than two weeks I'm taking a flight to another continent to perform alongside professionals comedians.

When I come back home, I' going to participate in =my region's biggest ever choir: around 1000 people coming together to sing.

Then I'll get back into singing lessons, start ukulele lessons and an aromatherapy course.

When I got out of school nearly three years ago, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my time here. Now I think I know. I might have to work odd jobs alongside this, but no matter how much capitalism tries to convince me that if you're not in Hollywood you have no chance as an artist, my ambitions are set. Over the last 2 years I've met some amazing people, many of which are t least part-time artists, and a good chunk of those were along my age, at most 6 years older. That showed me it's possible.

Now, those last 2 years (not counting the first of the 3 years, as I was recovering from severe depression) have been... volatile maybe could be a word to describe them? I've found a reason to get up[ in the morning (multiple even), but I wasn't too sure what to do with them. So I settled into a nice little in-between area of life and made it my comfort zone. I'm still not too sure of how, but I've decided to do something with these reasons to live. To enjoy them and build my life around them. I kind of started doing that: I started going to shows a lot more, going to events, creating again, seeing friends and doing fun stuff with them... But I was missing something. I was treating all of that as a side thing. It was more of how I saw my life outside school when I was still in it than my life period.

Except I'm not at school anymore. So outside of that, I felt trapped. By boredom, but also by the impending doom of not knowing what to do with my life.

Sometimes we fail to see the door right in front of us until it hits us in the face. The concerts I participated to for Music Day in my town was the start of me hitting the door. Including that one pro musician who played with us taking me aside to tell me I had potential and should really shoot my shot in music - and not just as a hobby.

The festival being in 2 weeks makes it very real. And that's the rest of the hit.

So, I'm an artist! What now? Well I still have a lot of stuff to figure out, both pertaining to that and just, the rest of my messy life in general.

First I'll focus on the festival. Then, I'll rest and focus on the choir. Once that's done and I'm settled in my courses, I'll start other things. In the meantime though, I am working on an action plan that'll probably have its own post.

Amongst the individual things I'd like to tackle are: making my space feel fully mine again, make my own clothing patterns, make my own clothing, make costumes/cosplays, start an online esoteric shop, publish a book, celebrates the Sabbats more, code my own portfolio, and run a blog. At least it's what comes to mind right now.

Posting this, my adventure has officially started... And I welcome you to come along if you so wish!

Read you soon, Kai 🧭🌟

[groovy-rat-man]

I dont know if it's because I'm autistic or didn't learn it as a kid or I'm just not putting in the effort or what, but music is one of the shittiest most overly complicated artforms I have tried to learn thus far. (Kind of became a vent post on accident, but feel free to read.)

Now i will preface this by saying that i am easily the second least disciplined person I know and when I try to "learn" how to do something I'll just look up tutorials online, quit when I dont succeed on the first couple tries, and try again sometime later (maybe). It took actual years of doing this on and off for me to learn how to knit, and not being able to understand those shitty diagrams brought me to tears more than once. I still can't even knit anything besides scarves!!

I don't care if i sound like a whiney bitch baby because I KNOW I'm a whiney bitch baby. I grew up GENUINELY thinking I was better than my peers because I was sooooooooo smart then got throat punched by long division and middle school math. (I'm pretty good at algebra now, but having to memorize all those formulas for geometry is bullshit and I STILL can't do long division lol.) I am THE most whiney little bitch baby on the face of the planet and everything i say after this is probably gonna sound so fucking stupid to anyone who took even one band class in school, and I'm okay with that.

That being said, WHAT THE FUCK??? Another thing I should probably lead with, I don't know SHIT about how music works. I feel like if someone quizzed me on my music knowledge they'd think I was fucking with them, that's how little I know. Here, I'll make a list:

The dots with lines on them are called notes

The strings on a guitar are E, A, D, G, B, and E, in that order (because elephants and donkeys grow bigger ears <3)

I know the order the do re mi's go and you start at the lowest pitch and go to the highest (relative to what, I don't know)

The main melody of a song is like the part people would map lyrics onto if it was an undertale song in the 2010's but idk if there's like a formula or method to identify it other than vibes

There's some PEMDAS shit for remembering the letters that go on each line of sheet music but don't ask me what it is

There. That's it. That is the most comprehensive list of stuff i know about music as of writing this. There's other stuff too, I guess, but it's all like "those fractions(?) next to that sexy shape at the beginning of the sheet music are time signatures, dunno what that means tho lol," so I just didn't include them.

And like,, what the fuck am i supposed to do about that?? I could find stuff online but that'll either take too long, cost actual money, or be for literal children. And like I guess a child's music lesson wouldn't be so bad seeing as I am literally below an elementary school level when it comes to this shit but FUCK ME i feel stupid enough as is. I guess I shouldn't be so harsh on myself cause like if someone were talking to one of my friends like that I'd be pissed, but that's not what this post is about. I don't wanna have someone to try and teach me this in person either cause like I said, I can get easily frustrated about this sorta stuff and I dont wanna upset someone or embarrass myself ya know?

I only wanna learn this sorta thing cause I think playing an instrument or making music on my computer using one of those programs I've seen online sounds neat!! I also just dont wanna sound like a dumbass around my friends who actually know music stuff. But I genuinely don't know a single thing about any of this and trying to learn makes me want to claw my fucking skin off and break my own bones. (I wouldn't, just so you know, but I don't think I'm exaggerating too much when it comes to wanting to. Idk feelings are hard.)

Idk man, i just need to fix myself. Whatever that means. Might make a separate post listing all the shit I don't know about music in case anyone wants to help with that. Y'all don't got to tho, just thinking about it.