#Or maybe I'm closer than I thought? | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

defender-of-jouvente · 3 months ago

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Isabeau, I've asked Siffrin to see if he can do some kind of bright craft spell into the sky

Try and look for that, if you can see it then it should help you find him

( @studies-of-nothing )

#askabeau #[m'dame odile]#Wow! If that's what I think it was it was bright!#Or maybe I'm closer than I thought?#I did pass a weird tree earlier.#I'm gonna start yelling and see if they hear me.#{'mundie are you doubling up on rp by doing this and dnd at the same time?' you may ask}#{and to this i say git gud.}#isat rp blog #[Act 0]

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tswwwit · 2 months ago

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Is it right to assume that demons take sass/insults as flirting in your portal story just like the familiar au? Because I keep cracking up at the idea of Dipper essentially sexting Bill 😅

You are 100% Correct!

#answers #It's more flirting than anything else #The ACTUAL sexting comes later #I'm vaguely considering this a parallel universe to Familiar AU in that I don't wanna come up with another magic system #But who knows!! Maybe it's more different than I thought!#I'm not done writing it and maybe I shall discover it's further away than that #Or closer than that #This is a journey I must take as it reveals itself to me #Portal AU

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faaun · 2 months ago

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How was your date with the butch? Have you had your two exams? Hope you do well!!<33

hi hi omg i forgot how much i updated u guys but the first date was great and the second date was also great and we held hands and then i started panicking abt my exams and she had a dissertation deadline so i havent seen her in a while 😭 i miss her but she is TERRIBLE at texting but hopefully will see her soon !!

did 1 exam the other one is tmrw we are NOT sleeping tn once again !!! wish me luckkk + ty for asking i hope ur days have been filled w comfort and joy !!!

#asks #anon #on the first date we walked and talked a lottt she was rly interested in my culture and it was rly adorable and also rare #i taught her some persian words she taught me some chinese words we went to a museum and walked #in hyde park etc etc shes sooo . shes so cool #i asked her if she wanted to hold hands in the museum and she said 'i'm fine' and i was like . oh :/ maybe she doesnt want anything w me #but then she did a lot of other date-like stuff but all her physical contact was so light and gentle so i thought maybe its more sacred #to her but on our second date we walked and talked a lot and i had a very overpriced glass of almond old fashioned on a very tall rooftop #on the way back to the station i asked her #if shes generally uncomfortable w physical contact or if its reserved for closer ppl etc and she said shes not uncomfortable at all so #she asked me why i seemed surprised i told her bc she seemed a lot more reserved b4. bc of the thing in the museum #she didnt remember saying it and in fact she said she would never say that #not to me she was laughing in disbelief i think she entirely misheard my question and her 'i'm fine' was a declaration of her wellbeing #rather than a refusal . anyway after she was done laughing (she has a beautiful smile by the way) she held my hand all the way until #i got onto my train

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katamarigender · 7 months ago

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crushing a can against my forehead talking to this person grAH

#and not in a good funny way.#I LOVE YOU. WHAT DO YOU NEED ME TO DO TO PROVE THAT I ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT YOU. DO YOU WANT ME TO CLONE MYSELF?#MOVE TO YOUR CITY SO I'M WITHIN DRIVING DISTANCE WHENEVER YOU'RE NOT FEELING GOOD? SAY *EXACTLY* WHAT YOU NEED TO HEAR AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT?#you're making it sound like you want to meet me halfway but you keep. moving. the middle point. to be closer to you.#we're good friends when you're happy but any time you're feeling Less Than Chipper i'm suddenly not good enough?#IS it actually all my fault and i've secretly been horrible at communicating this whole time???#do i not bare enough of my soul to you. is that it. am i too quiet for you.#well guess what! i don't open the floodgates cause i'm not sure you can take it! to be quite honest!#i tell you how i feel and suddenly i'm making things about myself and being dismissive of your feelings.#but it's okay if i sit there and let all your thoughts and feelings wash over me #and you expect me to just nod my head and tell you how valid you are. every. single. time.#you're lucky i'm not sick of it.#or maybe not because APPARENTLY you have a plethora of other people and friends you can go to. to get the response you actually want.#so why do you even still talk to me about it if you believe i'm just going to respond wrong every time... that's what i'm wondering.#maybe this is too mean...

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jewishcissiekj · 4 months ago

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I hate hate hate it when people call Asajj in tbb era an "old woman" SHE'S 30

#daily asajj thought of the day #i love old women but we have not seen asajj as an old woman so please stop #and yes i've seen this happen #i'm not just saying things #also i know fancasts are fancasts but even tho she looks like... that in tcw #i don't get it when people fancast 50 year old women for her #it's weird idk #like her age is something very interesting to me #but she's still a) canonically 7 years younger than obi-wan (and quinlan)#and b) much more on the younger side in legends and closer to Padmé's age #so no she isn't old #she's in her late 20s to very early 30s #canonically she was born in 50 BBY and not enough people keep that in mind #i feel like the timeline and age is important for a character like her #maybe just to me tho #another thing:#always pisses me off when in jedi aus she's quinlan and obi-wan's age #OPEN WOOKIEPEDIA!!!!#it's that easy #obviously you can play with her age and you do not have to stick to canon completely #but like the misconception that she's their age and their apprenticeships match up and all drives me crazy #i've said this before and this has nothing to do with shipping for me #i do prefer it when she's on the younger side #closer to anakin's age #idk it like. just works better for me

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bluepallilworld · 7 months ago

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I'm so bad at keeping the same lenght for all my chapters XD

Before I started writing the fics, I decided "ok, 1200 words a chapter sounds like a good lenght" and sometimes I'm not really inspired and struggle a bit reaching that but I always do reach it in the end

And sometimes

Like today

My first try at that chapter is 2400 words long and that with stuff I jumped over to add during editing later

ok this one is going to be long

#sillies and talkies #I know some peeps are crazy and put out like 10 000 words chapters (yeah I whitnessed that more than a few times)#can't deny it's enjoyable to have a beast to read each chapter #I don't think I could do that XDc #I'd never post #I'm coming closer to the end so there is more action and I'm hyping myself up and now chapters are longer #maybe I should increase my limit next fic uh #do you all like longer chapters?#is 1200 too small #thoughts to muse over again later I guess

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shirogane-oushirou · 5 months ago

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finished two ren pics yesterday that i'd been sitting on for a while, started TWO craft projects today (making a cheap DIY bobbin lace bolster pillow + making a ren doll (or two???)) AAAAAND i just found a program that lets me use my ipad as a tablet for my laptop and bought CSP 3.0 on sale. >:333333c Beware.

#might be getting a little boost of nervous energy bc the procedure i said had been cancelled is BACK ON BABEY #so i'm trying to prep myself for the 'recovery period' (it's a routine procedure - i'm just doing it for the first time #and apparently if you have autoimmune issues recovery can take WAY longer and is worse #whereas a healthy person needs no recovery time lol. god i wish that were me. anyway.).#like. tummy hurty yeowch but god DAMN i have a little ren to hold and cuddle and kiss etc etc i'm making pretty lace etc etc #and csp + ipad means i don't have to worry about the nausea i get sitting upright at my desk >:3c and i can do WAAY more on CSP #than on procreate. god. i can make proper outlines. i can use better brushes. I CAN USE MORE LAYERS. oughhhh can u imagine.#maybe i can finally start to explore using l2d??? see if i like it??? l2d ren... l2d fursona... l2d oushirou... playing w my touys...#1 step closer to vtuber arc... now i just need fiber speeds JANSSkjDN girl i'm so mad the neighborhood next to us has fiber #but we don't. we're stuck at 25 down 5 up. crying sobbing screaming. want 2 strim art......#📌 [ my posts. ]#💭 [ my thoughts. ]

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thatlittledandere · 11 months ago

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I love learning about regional differences within countries or even regions. It's an American internet so even I know that New Yorkers are on a whole 'nother level of exceptionalism and being from Brooklyn specifically Means Something. Tell me, how does the rest of Brazil feel about people from Rio? What sets the Quebecuois apart, aside from speaking French? Does South Africa have stereotypes about people speaking all the different languages they have? Does being closer to North or South America mean something in Mexico? Italy hasn't been one cohesive country for very long, how shattered is it still? Etc etc etc tell me about regional stereotypes in your dear homeland Ethiopia make it a fight if you have to. I want to HEAR

#venlapost #like try not to be outright racist (not that I'm an expert on that) but aside from that #the innocuous things #this was spurred by the differences between east and west in Finland #I've tried to be vague about where i live but it's probably not TOO distinguishing to say i grew up in the west and now live in the east #and it's a common idea that people from savolax and karelia (east) are friendlier and more sociable than ostrobothnia (west)#(there are three ostrobothnias. you still know nothing about me. moving on)#and now that I'm closer to the eastern border I've also been made aware of the differences between north and south karelia #and how strong confirmation bias ban be lol #like. if someone happens to come by when we're on a break we invite them to join #and to me that's like 'oh how nice the eastern Finland hospitality in action :)'#while. i mean. if that happened in my hometown. would they really NOT do that #it is easier to imagine someone getting up and taking them to another room to talk so the rest can finish their coffee in peace #but isn't that more about the personalities of the people present?#in high school i had a substitute teacher from savolax #(who decided to translate it into savolax in English anyway. why are there three extra letters)#and he said that when you invite someone over to your house where he's from you'll prepare a whole meal to eat together #while over here you take guests to the living room for an hour before giving them a cup of coffee #and MAYBE some dry leftover... sweet buns idk how to translate it #he thought we were SO inhospitable #and i thought 'that's not true my mom always bakes like three different things to offer evening guests :('#before remembering. my parents moved to my hometown as adults. my mom is karelian #and her behavior in general is. VERY in line with the stereotypes lol #and how in some ways i feel some details about daily life suit me better here where i live now #i may have grown up in ostrobothnia but my roots are in the east and most of my extended family live all around savolax #so. maybe topelius was right and we DO have different tribes here #this got. longer than intended. finnish portion over go argue about YOUR east/west dichotomy

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genspiel · 1 year ago

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the broken kingdoms is like the opposite of middle book syndrome. it was so good; a big step up from the hundred thousand kingdoms, tbh. i'd stopped mid-kingdom of gods bc it wasn't really holding my interest, read several other books in the interim, and have now come back to it, aaaand.... it's still not really holding my interest so much............ sigh. i do want to know how this all works out in the end, but unfortunately it looks getting there could still be a bit of a chore.

#tre reads #the inheritance trilogy #nk jemisin #tbf part of this is kind of my fault for reading her works so out of order lmao #black future month was the first; then broken earth; then... i think great cities came before dreamblood...?... and now inheritance #it's almost perfectly in reverse order lol (barring the jump forward in time for great cities ofc)#so it 100000% makes sense that her writing got... not bad exactly but. less polished...??? the further back i've gone #there's also like. so many things about inheritance that remind me of like. prototypes almost of broken earth stuff tbh #and i feel like she did them much much better in broken earth so i keep directly comparing them in my mind and that's not helpful either lo #(might even make a post about that at some point tbh)#although upon looking just now it does seem that i'm closer to the end of the kingdom of gods than i thought i was #only about 200 more pages and then the rest of the omnibus is the novella which i forgot about #((also holy shit what did sieh do to the glossary for kingdom of the gods i'm--))#so maybe i'll just keep on powering through here........... -w-#at least eventually ahaha. we'll see. <3 #i'm also just starting two other new books simultaneously lmao so who knows what my brain will feel like continuing tomorrow !!!#but for now i shall be off to other things ahahaha

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knifegremliin · 2 years ago

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oh god I haven't drawn a human in almost 2 months. battle cat hell's really got a hold of me rn :/

#🔪.text #literally last human/human adjacent character i drew was kadriel on november 11th #it's...... almost the 11th of january......#tbh i did even try to draw matt the other day but stopped after uhhhh approximately 10 seconds #i just couldn't #it is only cats rn babey!!!!#maybe i'll just draw them as cats again #matt's cat design is very fun #or maybe i can get myself to draw vin since they're closer to furry-adjacent than human-adjacent #.... that feels weird to say but it is true #like proportion-wise he's definitely human adjacent #but like. everything else.... he really is more furry-like. hm.#don't mind me i'm just rambling in the tags again lol #my own personal little thought dump

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buttercupshands · 11 days ago

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Thinking about what happened in the summer

Kids are... Really different when it comes to spending three weeks without their parents

Some start crying near the end of first day

Some start crying after couple of days

And some don't show anything while feeling the same

And being... I think English has a good word for that, let's go with a teacher but mix it with caretaker a little bit

I think seeing a kid cry at the end of that first day finally short circuited my brain, teens are way harder to understand that pre-teens who are literally still kids

They come around after a week, settle down and find new friends and your job stays the same mostly to be the one controlling their behavior

And then you'd have a kid crying again, because they miss home and the only thing you can really do is comfort them that they're not stuck here forever and that time flows so fast they won't notice it

And maybe they didn't. Time really did flew and they were leaving

Parents visited kids sometimes, of course, and it was so scary at first but they were mostly friendly and nice

Maybe because of that group chat that let them see that their kids are fine and are having fun

In the end for kids it was painful at first, but fun in the end. I got hugged more times than I could count when they were all leaving

And then poof

Back to your own life you go, like nothing happened

#not art #irl stuff #some thoughts #Every time I tried mixing my 'usual' behavior with the one I had back in the camp it felt like adding acid into water in the wrong order #Because it didn't feel right and it felt right at the same time #Like I just suddenly got a brand new way of behavior all together and it was so different that I stopped recognizing myself #Literally I'd work all day without much of a thought head full of WHERE EVERYONE IS ARE THEY SAFE??? And then at break near night go 'huh'#And at first I tried desperately to catch the usual behavior and bring it back on the break #And it never led to anything good because I'm supposed to be fully like in daytime 24/7 #I did that one sketch of silly guys to just keep at least something in my head aside from being fully aware 24/7 of every passing second #I still don't know if I miss that or not #It felt so nice to not feel like I have no goal in mind anymore #A goal of 'get to the end of this with all of the kids fine and safe' without ever swearing or making them feel threatened was... Exhaustin #I never became some super sweet person to know so I did what I knew best - talked a lot telling about the things they liked #And if a kid is curious being interesting by telling stories that they didn't know about the things they liked is a way to be liked #Most of them probably forgot about me existing there but some probably didn't and would return next year again #Honestly I don't know why I failed so many exams when becoming a teacher is the only thing that makes me truly happy now #And super tired because THAT'S WORK and it's exhausting as hell some kids love to fight and you need all your diplomacy to work with it #Maybe that's just me missing my time with siblings when they were little I didn't get much time being a good elder sibling to them #I can't associate this work with becoming a parent for a month because I'm still not so different from those kids #Like... I've literally have been told by older kids that they mistook me for a teen like them #Excuse you but I'm like 7 years older than that #It was funny tho because I was considered a bit closer to them all instead of being a big bad grown-up #Yet some kids despised me because of that in the first group because welp not being an authority figure sucks #That being my first job sucks even more because I had no idea about the unspoken rules while everyone had aside from me and mom #Second try was way better because I knew exactly what I had to do even if I was terrible at making us participate in dances and songs #Thankfully it started raining and don't you dare let kids get cold from being in the rain at night that's just ridiculous #So it was like we had a slumber party with me letting them watch GF on my laptop and read some comics #It was way better than being forced to look at the other groups winning all over again. Kids disliked losing so many times in a row #And in the end the things we planned weren't exactly enough but when they were kids were happy and I was happy because we put so much effor

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inmirova · 1 month ago

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"it's easier to leave an abusive situation than it is to stop an abuser" :^( but it's not easy :^(

#repeating patterns repeating patterns repeating patterns repeating patterns #im not unsafe btw just. :^) scared :^)#tired.#starting to stop walking on eggshells kind of. in a cowardly way. like responding some of my real thoughts but at 4am #i want to scream. im not like that but i want to yell and tell her to leave me alone forever and i just want to be able to rest !#and to not be afraid. i want to move. i want to drop off the face of the earth. i want to go to bed. i want to stay awake and on guard.#idk. im tired. im so tired and i want it to stop. it's not even a big deal.#the thinly veiled insults bother me more than anything else. insult sandwich on compliment bread.#im so pretty im so stupid im so funny. im smart im too insecure im beautiful. im the most interesting person she knows im evil im talented #it's not even the worst thing it just pisses me off so much. do you think this is helpful to say? do you think this is normal?#do you think you'll get what you want insulting and belittling me as long as you tell me you think im attractive?#it's always how pretty i am. like some superficial bullshit is going to make up for an insult or make the insult disappear #and everyone else gets to leave but if i leave she'll die and it'll be all my fault and this is just like x y or z #and didnt i know she almost experienced trauma as a child but didnt? and how that effects her?#fuck. i hope she sees this tbh. how fucking insulting to see something someone's experienced and say that couldve maybe happened to me #but the person who couldve done it lives in another country and never came here.#what the fuck. what the fuck.#so it didnt happen to you? you cant lay claim to it at all? yet you think you understand me or that even if it did happen it's all the same #im going to lose my mind. im so. fucking. over it. but im a coward and i dont want her to die so ill grin and bear it.#and she'll tear out all my skin and ask if it's a little too much and ill say it's fine and she'll say im so gorgeous but i'm disgusting #but at least im kind. and ill say okay. because if i say anything else it's a threat on her fucking life.#tbh im only posting this now bc i know no one will likely read it. perpetual coward when it comes to this shit #because if i tell someone the full extent they'll ask why i didn't leave sooner. but i did!#i left and i got bombarded and overwhelmed and i was so tired of being scared of running into her everywhere #and i just. eased back in. and said it would be less this time. and it is so much more. it is so much worse.#ive lived in that fear before and i was so tired of it. it was a big reason i moved so far for college. and i cant just run away #so this seemed better. but it's so much worse. id rather hide every day of my life. keep an eye out everywhere and run away.#it wasnt so bad really. it was tedious and nauseating and i only ever explained it to one person. but it wasnt impossible.#this is much closer to impossible. this is soul crushing every day. and the things she does arent even as bad i dont think #it just doesnt stop. at least in high school i eventually got it to stop. i just had to be avoidant. this. wont stop.

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senseless-blabbering · 2 months ago

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well hey at least i have therapy on the 13th

#and too bad i also keep feeling i'm failing my therapist too! lmao #i don't wish it upon anyone to end up where i am right now with thoughts #my nightmares were awful and i am not happy about anything going on #only the occasional blessings of people being nice to me when i'm out in public and masking what's going on #i feel like a discarded piece of shit nobody wants around. simple #and i don't even blame whoever feels this way #only friends i got over here can only joke around and won't be able to talk seriously to me #and i refuse to burden closer people with myself even more than i already do #so i'll keep being silent and pretending i'm fine and nothing's going on #and maybe things will just stop on their own #i don't wish anyone to be loved and betrayed by love and learn paranoia and mistrust #you become a specific type of miserable. it's just becoming worse and worse #and i'm very tired #tbd

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ladylynse · 9 months ago

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*coughs* So guess what I found in my drafts and had to update. Thanks for the tag! Really sorry I didn't get to this earlier; I thought I'd done it.

The language one is kinda iffy but at the moment it doesn't really apply to the proper fics I have on AO3, just some three sentence ones and bits of ones I have here, so.... I didn't mark it. And I have some stuff I really need to update, but not that's ten years old. Not on AO3 anyway. And tooth-rotting fluff I've done...once. Angst is so much easier to write. I had a beta when I first started writing fic, then stopped sending stuff to her because she didn't know the fandoms so was just reading for grammar, so.... I got less organized than I used to be.

@arisu-reblogs I can tag you in a post this time! Along with whoever else wants to do this.

yes i made this because I didn’t want to work on a WIP

#long post #tag game #thanks for the tag!#ladylynse #sad part is the first time I was filling this out I don't think I had a bingo #and now I have (essentially) two #and okay maybe the 49 chapters one is marked off a little early but I have actual progress on that chapter so it ain't marked off that earl #I put up a tentative chapter count because a few people asked me but I've changed it twice and I know I'm gonna have to change it again so #it's a question mark in my heart #I really did have this on my phone at one point thought #I remember doing different colours for ones I wasn't sure if I should count them #but apparently I never posted that #so it's probably still on my phone #actually if I queue this I'll be closer to that 49 chapter thing than I am now #so let's do that

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darkdragon768 · 6 months ago

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It is yet another day where I just lost motivation for anything. Like, I just wanna go to sleep. But it's only 8 pm and school starts late tomorrow. I can't waste my evening like that.

#dragon's stupid thoughts #i hate this #i think doom scrolling would fix me rn?#idk #jfc earlier I just said I should reduce my screen time and then I say this #ugh #i need therapy but to take the next step closer to that I have to make phone calls but... they are so so scary :(#...#i think my lunch ruined the day for me #it was leftover from sunday but putting everything in one box was the wrong thing to do I think #beautiful chicken and asparagus goes to waste...#i hate throwing food away #and even more seeing other people throw it away while I'm sitting next to them. starving #my diet is absolutely not healthy #junk food and eating whenever I feel like it/whenever I have time (not eating anything until I'm home)#anyway #i kinda also feel like crying #but i don't know why #i kinda have a feeling that the music I've been listening to lately has taken a toll on me too #it's about ''we're screwed. employers treat you like a slave. you've got no other choice than to suffer thanks to the higher ups'' etc.#this is already getting too long #gonna go brainstorm for my pmd story maybe #maybe draw some scenes that are far into the future #the one i did today was nice #really cool battle

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flocon-tourne-en-rond · 6 months ago

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(I felt like I had to call your brother because something told me he wasn't doing alright, and I was right, and I don't have this feeling about you but I figured I'd call you anyway.

Sweet and hurtful at the same time, thanks Mam'. I'll play the part, I won't worry you.)

#but i've not been sleeping well tha'k you for not asking #but i'm worried about you about dad about the people i love too much and the ones i can't seem to love enough thank you for not asking #but i'm feeling inadequate more often than i'd like thank you for not asking #but I'm tired of feeling like being the second child means i'm the second thought thank you for not asking #but i'm frustrated of feeling this way because you love me so much and i know so thank you for not asking #i know you're not doing it on purpose i know you've just always been more attuned to him i just wish it wasn't so obvious #and i worry that he feels that way about dad being closer to me #i think it shows less but maybe it's just because i'm on the good side of it?#anyway #i'll be fine i just need to sleep i'm not doing really well on so little sleep #it's easier for the sad to catch me when i'm tired #parenthèse

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