#Or how my brain strings ideas together is super stupid that hurts cause that’s probably what everyone was talking about all those years why

[kavehater]

Smh.

first of all I can’t tell if I have the right to be mad about something

second of all, I seriously don’t know what to say. About so many things. But rn I’m just idk I can’t rlly breathe lololol everyone keeps arguing with me, and as time goes on it’s hurting my heart sm. Like it can’t stop beating and it feels oddly reminiscent of the incident in 2018. I also can’t get ppl to care sm lol? Idk everything feels so strange rn. And to top it off, donna. Donna Donna Donna. I give up yk ? Truly give up. Everywhere I go, she’s there. She is with every mutual I befriend. Why?????!!:$382@:/‘ literally why. I’m so unpopular. Nobody knows me. Yet you find a way to one of the only people who do. What? You’re gonna take the other friend I have away from me? Aren’t you done with freaking **** aka fruitloops? Istg I literally cannot breathe anymore. You took the most important one now she’s always ignoring me. Now you’re taking my second bestie. Ik how pathetic this sounds. How bad I’m getting worked up over some dumb girl online. But to what end? LITERALLT when can I have my own friend that doesn’t get stolen. Please, I genuinely cannot breathe like this anymore. I can’t keep crying every day like this I shouldn’t be crying every day. This is so unfair. BEYOND unfair… I had over 1k followers yet nobody rlly gave a damn yk …. Yet I think she might have less since she just started yet she has so so so so so many people who ACTUALLY interact with her. Please. Can’t I have one person? One singular person. You’re literally gonna be the reason I off myself atp. because not only is she taking those friends away, I feel like nobody is talking to me that much anymore to begin with in general. Not to mention that I’m quite literally very suicidal rn so this makes things literally fatal atp. I literally do not know what to do anymore. I should just accept it I’ll be nothing compared to her. Fuck I’m literally gonna throw up.

[ellohcee]

Between You and Me

50 Prompts

#39 – Overwhelmed

She hates it. Sometimes she just falls apart and it's like her world simply tilts in the wrong direction. It is heralded by that awful bloom of fire and tingles behind her eyes and nose. It relentlessly burns and suddenly her eyes are welling and she's not even entirely sure why.

You're overwhelmed, her mother once told her.

But by what? Most days it's fine. Yes, juggling school and hero work and personal life can be exhausting, but it always turns out fine. She gets a few late days at school, she gets scolded, and she moves on. She misses a few things with friends because Akuma attacks just can't be pushed off to the side, you know? And there are some days she's a little snappy with Chat Noir, but he understands, she apologizes anyway. They have lives that sometimes seep in while they're in mask and it just can't be helped sometimes.

But here, sitting atop her balcony, a cold autumn wind biting her skin like an angry wraith, she just doesn't understand. She'd been fine earlier throughout school, the usual song and dance of her life. But she gets home, sets her bag down, has a snack, and suddenly while she's sketching a design it just slams to the front in such unapologetic insistence that it knocks her asunder. She sits and blinks and wonders why for a few moments before frustration gnaws at her. She needs air.

She climbs to the balcony and sits with her back to the railing, feeling the cold bite of wrought iron pressing into her shoulder blades as she leans back hard. Marinette hopes it would ground her against this bizarre swell of emotions, keep her tethered to sanity because she doesn't understand what she's upset about. All that happens is she loses track of time, sitting until dusk fades and her string lights come to life, reflecting off her wet face.

This is how the other half of Paris' super hero duo finds her somewhere past sundown, and like a wraith himself, Chat lands on her balcony with barely a sound. “Princess?” he asks in concern, crouching in front of her. Green eyes seem to glow comfortingly in the dark, flickering across her tear stained face in attempt to decipher what he's walked in on. “Are you okay?” he asks in worry, because he's never seen her like this and he can barely fight the overwhelming surge of 'please don't cry' he wants to blurt out.

She huffs out an attempt at a laugh, but it just ends up as a burst of air from her lungs that burns like flame in her chest. “I don't know, probably?” she shrugs offhandedly, averting her eyes and trying to scrub the tears from her face. This is a manner in which she never wanted Chat to see her, Ladybug or otherwise, but she can't find the will to care because it's just nice that he's here. Sometimes she really takes for granted how comforting his presence can be, because he's just so alive and caring and sweet. Sometimes it floods her with joy so great that she never wants to imagine a world without him. He's her best friend, her partner, her sanity amidst this hero business she was chosen for.

So right now, Marinette thinks, she's really glad to see those green eyes peering at her. In that moment after her noncommittal answer, he's suddenly slinking forward to carefully sit next to her and Marinette can't help but lean towards him. In their occasional meetings like this she tries to tone back her Ladybug level of comfort because right now she's Marinette- she's not supposed to be that familiar with him, but she just doesn't care tonight. So she lets her head fall on his shoulder, releasing a sigh so heavy it feels like it should expel all the flurry of emotions with it, but it does not.

“Hey,” he says quietly, not at all taken aback by her invasion of his space. “What's wrong?”

“That's just it,” she responds in frustration. “I don't know.” Her head hurts, her mouth is dry, her eyes ache and all she wants to do is lie down and sleep forever, but she's fairly sure these were all side effects of the sudden burst of whatever. But what was the cause of the whatever? She had not the faintest.

“Oh,” Chat replies, sounding confused as all hell. Well join the club kitty, she thought, because she's confused as hell on a daily basis, but right now takes the cake. As if on cue that rush of heat behind her nose flares to life again, bringing with it a pressure that waxes and wanes inside her skull like waves. She huffs in annoyance, rubbing more tears away and only crying more because she's so frustrated.

“Well,” the hero starts, a note of hesitance in his voice. “Sometimes there doesn't have to be... I mean, not one particular thing, sometimes it's just... everything, you know?” he asks hesitantly, his voice uncharacteristically small.

This stupid cat is making her cry even more, because in her already emotional state it's easy to pick up the heavy truth behind his words, that he knows this all too well and it bogs down on him sometimes. She doesn't want her cat to be hurting, ever, she wants him to be happy. She knows realistically a person can't be happy all the time, but the image of Chat whenever he's hurt or sad flashes into her minds eye and it makes her want to weep.

The water works must have turned up at these thoughts, as he was suddenly looking at her anxiously. “Hey hey, Princess?” he asks, adorably concerned over the increase in tears, and damn it all he's just too good. Marinette abruptly twists where she's sitting and hugs him around the neck, burying her face into his collar and making the black clad hero stiffen in surprise. “M-Marinette?” he asks in surprise, dropping his usual nickname.

“Don't be sad,” she demands softly, yet fiercely, into his suit. “Okay?”

Chat is quite understandably thrown asunder, as he thought he was the one doing the comforting here. He blinks, once, twice, three times, before his brain kick starts and he manages to speak. “Um, how did this... I thought... you...”

“Just because,” she whispers. She can't bring herself to explain that she hears the weary tone in his voice, that she often picks up on his downcast moods when she's Ladybug, that she doesn't always know what to do or how to help but she just wants him to know that she's here. In any form. But she can't let on that there's more than Marinette, so she settles for this ambiguous answer and continues to hug him. Because without him there would be no Ladybug, not only because of his encouragement on their first round as heroes. But more so just every day they're together, he lifts her spirits, and while she may act annoyed sometimes, she loves this silly cat with all her heart.

What level of love exactly is yet to be determined, because she doesn't go there for fear of making things complicated.

So for now, she settles on doing something that she doesn't allow as Ladybug. She lifts her head and kisses him on the cheek, feeling an immediate flush on his skin beneath her lips as he blushes like nothing else before.

“M-Marinette-”

“You'e a good person, Chat,” she whispers, dropping her forehead back to his shoulder as the hero goes silent. “You're too good. Don't ever let anyone take that away from you.”

Chat's face, although she cannot see it, is stuck momentarily in a shocked stupor, eyes wide and cheeks red. But slowly, there comes the barest tremble of his lip and a strangely glossy look in his eyes. Swallowing thickly, he reaches arms up to hug the girl back, holding her close as his heart thumps. The embrace is near desperate, as he suddenly realizes the truth. What started as an attempt to comfort Marinette now seems to have shifted into the realm of mutual support, and he really can't complain. He has no idea how she picked up on his feelings so quickly and turned the tables, but she'd always been very akin to shifting emotions.

So they sit together, wrapped up in each other like the world is ending, and just let themselves be in this moment. No more words are exchanged for several minutes, until Marinette starts sagging against him as her emotional typhoon gives way to exhaustion. Chat shifts his grip to support the girl, reluctantly standing up and carrying her towards the skylight. “Alright Princess,” he whispers softly, feeling a tickle of her hair at his chin. “Time for some sleep, you need it.”

For a moment her arms tighten around his neck, and Chat feels his heart nearly explode with affection, suddenly a lot less willing to release her. But, he dips her lower half down and holds her steady until Marinette finds her balance. Chat lets her go then, kneeling down to open the skylight and hold it for her. “In you go,” he bids, holding his free hand out to her.

Marinette smiles at his gesture, ever the gentleman, and takes his hand. She starts descending the ladder down into her room, looking below for several moments to make sure her feet find purchase, until she looks up and pauses. They are suddenly eye level, nearly nose to nose, and it's a little harder to breathe. They lock gazes for a moment until Chat breaks the spell and leans forward, planting a kiss on her forehead just below her bangs. Marinette squeaks in surprise and embarrassment, her face going completely red as he grins at her in a way she can only describe as triumph.

Amidst the receding waves of emotions calming with the storm inside her, she suddenly sees Chat in a different light than before. Right now he's like a ray of sunshine, his own face tinged pink and that big, adorably stupid grin on his face making Marinette's heart flutter in a way that's usually reserved for Adrien. For a moment her grip tightens over his fingers, and she smiles at him. “Thank you, Chat,” she whispers,

“Anytime, my dear,” he answers with a dip of his head, and she can tell he well and truly means this. He brings her hand forward and places a kiss on her knuckles, making her giggle, before she descends the rest of the way down into the room. He only lets go once distance insists, giving her a cheeky smile and a wave. “Goodnight, Princess.”

“Goodnight Chaton,” she replies, waving back as he closes the window and disappears into the night.

Chat feels his heart drumming loudly in his ears as he leaps between rooftops, an elated grace to his movements that seems to carry him like a bird on the wind. That was most definitely not how he expected the encounter to go when he saw Marinette huddled on her balcony, but if he were to be completely honest, he couldn't be happier.