#One Year fic
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EVERY SINGLE DAY there are MILLIONS of characters in their late 20s who get falsely accused of being father figures to teenagers when in reality the description of "weird older cousin" or "step-sibling that moved out before you were born" is 1000000x more apt
#talk tag#IT KILLS ME. REIGEN IS NOT MOB'S DAD. HE HAS A DAD. INGO IS NOT AKARI'S DAD. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CAN ANYONE HEAR ME#(not even necessarily to say that ingo is in his late 20s but still)#(even if he was a 30-40-50 year old no matter how old he is no fucking teenager is gonna call some guy they met as a 15 year old ''dad'')#GAI IS NOT A FATHER FIGURE TO ROCK LEE HE WAS LIKE 13 WHEN HE WAS BORN! PLEASE!!!!!!!!#one time i saw that a person wrote a fic where mario was like a father figure to luigi.#they are TWIN BROTHERS.#not what this about but idk where else i can say anything about this.#just horrible#also sometimes someone is just An Older Friend like no familial relationship just a friend or acquaintance who is a lot older than you
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are we still doing this because i have a late submission
#🐉#this is less about fan content and more about that awful lazy one size fits all#'10 years later theyre happily married with a cute little nuclear family' trope#because ive read some genuinely incredible fics about characters who would Not fucking have kids#ending up with accidental pregnancy scares or child acquisitions that get treated with all the nuance#and thoughtful handling they deserve#but also. i reread one of my favourite fics yesterday and when one character jokingly brought up the idea of children#and the other reacted with genuine visceral disgust and said what hideously awful parents theyd be#i lit up like a fucking christmas tree
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#text#copypasting a 21 chapter chat fic i wrote in 2018 into one big document#seeing glimpses of it#most of the time it's like. man. i did not write this#but then i see a phrase i was certain i came up with last year#and im like ah . so ive been making that joke since i was 15 ?#peer reviewed banger#rbsoff
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Act I ~ The Prince
A tapestry for Let No One Sleep by @azalawa-scroggs on ao3
#narumitsu#wrightworth#phoenix wright#miles edgeworth#nmbb24#happy nrmt big bang!!! there are two more of these…..#but you’ll have to wait for them#fan art#aa#ace attorney#dick gumshoe#maya fey#manfred von karma#…bro is creeping…#wHEEWWWW ok took me a bazillion years to catch up with my day but HERE ARE MY THOUGHTS ON THIS ONE:#the border is intended to be read in counter clockwise direction#so: top -> left -> bottom -> right#and YES the sun and the moon are intentionally associated with the attorney's and prosecutor's badges respectively#phoenix and miles are our sun and moon throughout this story so be sure to look for that in the fic too!!#this style was very experimental for me but i wanted it to mimic the feeling of a tapestry hence me referring to it that way#i WISH this was fabric that would be sick as fuck#i will eventually share a proper breakdown of the thoughts and intentions behind everything but for now...#im gonna miss Phoenix’s cloak bc im obsessed with the design actually. wish that thing was real too#miles is my cunty little bitchboy in this wearing his thousand pound fur coat and the suitor stompy boots#if you thought that was a rug and went Oh. ...that was on purpose :^)))))#rendevok#id in alt text
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A teaser wip of what’s to come because of a certain weird twist of fate (read: favorable pulls from a joke threat) made me obligated to go public. It’ll drop in full completed at some point idk, I will not go into detail until then.
ko-fi
#my art#leona kingscholar#twisted wonderland#Starting with redraws of old unposted work from the concept.#and the accompanying fic being written for it is also being edited.#Dont have high expectations.#At least on my end. feel free to have high expectations for the fic written by oddberryshortcake.#concept existed for a year prior as most of our stuff is.#okay you get one hint: jewel.
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I see freakout everytime A03 goes down and while I Get That, that's Our Website, but it makes me wonder if most people know that they can download fanfics
#apologies for two polls in one week but im curious#still more of a writer than i am a reader but any fanfic ive liked ive always downloaded#i still have an dbh fic from 5ish years ago downloaded on my phone#sara shush
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buffalo 66' au ! old!serial killer!rafe x young!sugardoll!reader (how they met, and their first night together.)
you were red and you liked me 'cause i was blue. but you touched me and suddenly i was a lilac sky.
warnings : lmfaooo this part always killing me but here it is....rafe being 90% of the warning part and the menace he already is, kidnapping, daddy issues, urge of sexualing your own self, slight of stockholm syndrome, dubcon, smut, dark!rafe, violence, mentions of threats, r being a missing girl, age gap, size difference, choking. rafe being mean to the reader. slight of daddy kink. sick attitude. dirty talk. attention whore. just minors DNI. (why it's bigger than my grocery list actually...). please carefully pay attention to the tags !!?
author's note : it's my first time writing a dark fic so don't expect too much 🙏🏿 you can read this without watching buffalo 66.
some girls were the trailer park princess, and others the queen of the gas station.
as the girl of the gas station, you were there all day on the road of these men much older than you, who had and drove pretty vintage cars who were literally bigger than you. those rich daddies surely had more money than your poor father who was always sitting behind the desk of his shop waiting for the night.
your father never gave you any attention, not even a look, he didn't care about what you did on your summer days as long as he never saw you. so you stayed all day at your playground queendom across from the pitiful, filthy motel where you lived. because here at least the men were looking at you.
of course they were looking at you, you always gave them something to look at with your tiny dresses that showed your naked thighs, your tits pressed together in that backless top. you always dressed in that soft and milky blue shades. as the sea and the sky, you were blue.
while their wives found you sick, you could feel their stares every time you leaned down to grab the keys that they forgot to give you each time. you could feel their eyes completely charmed by the way your summer dress rode up above your ass, and your panties stuck out.
fully bent over, you could hear the groans of these old men, the way they forced their hands themselves to not touch you when you wanted nothing more than to see them give in to the young temptation that you were.
you had a power in them and you loved to see them completely crazy.
you worked as a gas pump attendant. in reality, you did it behind your father's back because it allowed you to stay in the company of these men who only had eyes for you.
you always put on a show for them, and it always worked because you were irresistible.
but there was this guy every time, a regular customer, cold and short-spoken who never spoke to you.
he had a beautiful and luxurious car and you always wondered what job he did to drive such an incredible vehicle, and to spoil you so much with all this money.
he never said thank you for your service. after all, you were paid for it. his eyes were blue as you. he could park and glare at you for hours, sitting deep in his seat, a cigarette stuck between his opened lips.
he was so much older than you, so much to the point it was indecent. when you had first seen him, you had melted like sugar.
as you were coming back from the ice cream parlor, your lips sucking that delicious vanilla ice cream, you sat on the edge of the gas station, right in front of his car, your legs completely spread, white cream melting and dripping between your thighs. he rubbed his painful boner through his boxer.
you were sick, you let him look at you with this completely perverted stare while you let chunks of ice fall into your cleavage.
his eyes were all over you, but this time it was different, because this time it was him who was thinking about you while touching himself. this time it was him who was sick about you , him who had all these furious ideas about you. he pumped himself so hard, biting his lips harshly. and you continued your depraved show, while he jerked off, his big cock shaked and leaked in his own hand, his thick and already experimented fingers moved around his length faster and faster, the sweaty and dirty sound of his balls slapping, the squeaking noises of his chair, his arched back making the chair shaking. you thought of the veins of his dick engorged of blood pulsated against his hefty strength. that was enough to make you fully wet.
you wanted nothing more than to make this old man reach for you. but the problem was, you were too young and naive to know how mad he was, and what he really wanted to do with a pretty doll like you.
you stood up when you finished your ice cream, putting your dress back on neatly, and leaned down, leaning your porcelain princess arms over his car window.
you shuddered when he spread his cum on your face without any warning, smeared the remains of vanilla ice cream over your sloppy lips gloss with lick of drool.
he pushed his big thumb against your little mouth, pushed it into an o shape, and you closed her to start licking up the drops of his cum.
but like every time he came here, he never spoke to you. you had just seen the car leave, while you still had the taste of him on your lips. it was rude.
the next day, your father sent you out to do some groceries on a sweltering hot summer day, tired of seeing you around doing nothing. what he didn’t know was that this was probably the last time he saw you. and even shoupe that you had seen earlier in the morning, and who had told you to be careful, something with a killer around.
when you were done with the grocery, you started walking through the empty parking lot.
you thought you were alone, even though there were a few empty cars.
but it was a mistake, a terrible mistake that you were going to regret.
“didn't shoupe tell you to be careful this morning, sweetheart ? because i'm pretty sure, he did. ”
you screamed when the man grabbed you by the waist, pressing your little ragdoll body against his chest much stronger. the stranger quickly covered your mouth, and bruised your pretty lips with violence without any caring, shoved down his fingers between them to the point that you almost choked with your own breath and saliva.
“ you hurt..me…! ” you tried to say with a lot of difficulty, as his firm grip crushed against your breasts.
“ not yet actually, doll. but i promise, i will if you continue to fight. so beware, or i will fucking kill you. not a threat, sweetheart. it's a promise. “ and you knew that even god couldn't save you at this time.
you tried to bite him, but your teeth barely touched his skin. his lips hovered above your ear, you could hear his deep older voice warned you.
" bite me one more time, and i will break you. i love wrestle with you little girl, but i think you will really hate the way i fight. because when daddy fight sugardoll, he kills. and tiny things like you are so easy to wreck. and you dont want to die today, right ? you're too young for that. do you got it ? nod if you got it, yes. smart baby, understand easily that she needs to listen and not fucking run away. ”
his strength was heavy. you had stopped resisting a few minutes ago, even when he put you in his car.
he started driving, with a smirk, he looked in the rearview mirror before telling you.
“ what's the matter, sugardoll ? don't want to put a show for me, anymore ? ”
he had taken you to a shitty old motel down the road, where no one would be able to pick you up here. you knew he was intelligent, you knew it because you understood that every time he came to see you, he tried to learn more about you, but not to know you no, but to know when would be the right time to kidnap you. you knew it because he had stalked you carefully.
he had tried to tie you up while you tried to struggle one last time. but he had grabbed your jaw so violently that you felt your face shiver in his hands. “one more move, and i’ll show you how dolls are really treated, how i have no fucking bother to kill a tiny thing like you. ”
“i’m not going to run away.”
"i know.” he shushed you with a sick evil smirk. “ but it's not because you don't want to, sugardoll .but more because you can't.” he said, while releasing your jaw.
“ that's the small but important difference. i kidnapped you. do you even know what it means ? "
you started to cry, tears running down your cheeks.
“ you want a real reason to cry? fine. i can do that for you. i kidnapped you but you want to know the big part of all this? is that no one will come for you. your father doesn't love you , and that's why you work in this stupid gas station. you love the attention of these men so bad that you feel obliged to sexualize yourself to feel desired but me, i wanted you the first time i saw you. i let you do it, i let you play with them, but now it's all over. since i own you, this game is fucking over. ”
“shoupe will come after me ! ”
“but maybe you won’t be around to see it anymore.” he looked at you, and shushed your tears, while staring in your wet eyes. “ yes, i really like when you give me those tears, cry to me, little girl i'm the only men that really got you. ”
you glared at him as if he had fallen from the sky.
“ but now you have to be careful, don’t get on my nerves. i know it's hard for you, but don't do stupid things. ”
he placed your hand on his lower back, where you had felt the metallic coldness of the gun. and you shivered.
"yes, you got it. don't ever get on my nerves.”
“ how can i get on your nerves ? you don't really seems like a bad guy. more like a sweet guy ? ”
“ i'm not. and i'm not trying to be so watch your mouth. “
“ but i really think you are. can i hug you ? ”
“ try it, doll, literally try it. just try to touch me, i dare you. and i bet you will never tell me i'm the sweetest guy again. ”
“ can you at least bathe me ? ” you asked seriously.
“ jesus, do you think i'm your slave or whatever ? do you forget which position you are in ? in the captive one. so do not ask me those stupid things again. and don't try, no, never try to run away because, i can promise you that when i will find you, it will not be a pleasant time for you. and not even a little, but to the point, you will ask me to kill you. and i will be in a mood to accept your request ? yes, me. ”
you nodded as the kind and little girl you are who cannot argue against this tall man. he released your small face, and you were bathing alone. while you were taking your bath, alone in the tub, you heard rafe on the phone without being able to understand what he was saying but after that call, he left the room.
you had decided to buy some food with the little money you had at the food and drink vending machine.
with a happy smile, you went back up, hoping to please him. but you had found him on the chair in front of the TV.
“look, what…”
“i think you’re really nice. but not at your own good, sugar. ”
“ i just wan…”
“ get on the bed, now. ”
he couldn't help but relaxing when he saw how your blue dress was so tiny, already showing your soaked underwear.
" no whining. " he said as he shoved himself deeply in your tight abused cunt, your ragdoll body pressed down in the mattress, his thick stronger arms hugged your small waist, while thrusting harder and harder, your walls clenched around his fat cock. you can felt the size growing bigger in your wettering pussy, as he turned you into a real crybaby, tears flowing down your cheeks. you were caged by his beefy and muscular body on the bed, gasped on the edge. “ you wanted to act like a big girl ? then take it like a big girl. no fucking whining, i'm just giving you what you want. ”
he was literally buried inside you, snapping your hips, moving in and out. the atmosphere was hot, you felt the heat, there were trails of saliva around your mouth. “stop whining babydoll, daddy is not at his worse actually. and you don't want to see this happen.” you wanted to hate him but it was like you appreciated him being so mean to you, your pussy was dripping, your fluids drenching him, your sticky walls surrounded his girth. " yes, that's it. pull up some juices for daddy, make it easier for him to destroy you. "
everytime you runned away from him, he lifted your head with a grunt, and with a wild thrust inside of you, making you drip even more as his glistening tip reached your spot, the dirty and wetness sound of his moves echoed in the room, your body trapped against his taller one.
with a hand on your throat, you were arched to the point where he could see your wetted eyes rolled up. "try to run away again, and you will have the fucking pleasure to be a momma, as well as a missing girl. i'm not asking you to take my cock better.” he said with a threat. “ no, i'm telling you to do it as your fucking job. ”
all teary, you could bet that rafe didn't know how big he was for telling you this. you were trying your best actually. he was rutting in you, holding your tiny size with one big hand, getting so feral everytime he saw your small body twitching when he pushed himself further. your moans were loud, as your squirted more than one time on him, your dripping walls clamped his hard cock. even when your third orgasm flowed against your bulging pussy, creating a mess at the surface, he continued.
" you know sugardoll, you better work faster for my cum, because i will only stop when i will see how creampie your pussy is for my dick.”
he stuffed your puffy messy cunt, while your pumped his fingers who slidded deep down in your throat, your warm and bullied tongue fighting to not dropped them.
you slobbed more with the overstimulation. you felt like this man was insatiable. rafe loved to see you, his sugardoll in pain, taking so much for him.
when he finally stopped teasing you, and fighting himself to not cum, and clearly toying you, he exploded, making you cried out. all your body was filled with spasms.
you expected something from rafe when he pulled out, a little soft spot, or at least, just one look but he just went to the bathroom. alone.
you expected him to be sweet for you, like the sugar you were for him. and you knew, that you will work for this later.
when he came back, you looked at him, always attracted by his charisma, the way he made you felt so tiny by his big size, the way he was old enough to make you feel like a little girl, just the way his raised voice made you feel so small.
“ can i sleep with you ? ”
“ whatever. just don't touch me. ”
“ you're not gonna be my big spoon ? “
“ what the fuck is this ? i'm not gonna be your spoon. jesus, can you just sleep and not ask for any stupid things that you think i will do because you're already so obsessed with me ? and give me your hands. ”
he tied them up on the bed with your little blue ribbon.
“ just in case you think you can escape me. ”
“ i can't sleep like that ! ”
“ i fear it's not my fucking problem, sugardoll.”
“ fine. i will talk and talk all night. ”
“ i can fuck you all the night too. but one of us will not survive this. so stop being so damn annoying. ”
“ what if i want to pee in the middle of the night ? ”
“ you're strong enough to hold it. and you fucking better be strong enough to hold it. ”
“ why are you so mean to me ? why you kidnapped me ? ”
“ sugardoll, listen to me. look at me, yes. eyes on daddy right now. i swear, and you need to listen carefully because i will tell you once, just once, so your dumby brain need to pay attention, if you're talking another time, even if i see your lips moving, just a twitch, i will put my dick right in your mouth, making you suck it for without a break until the sun rises again. and i can promise you that after, you will never talk to me because you will never be able to open that mouth again. do you got it ? nod your head if you got it, doll.”
and you nodded.
as a doll, you were conditionned to listen to your owner, even if he was so mean to you. but you were as soft as sugar, always melted around, already thinking he was the best guy around.
“ sweet dreams, sugardoll. ”
i promise one day i will write something very good, just give me a chance. i think the only sweet thing in this work, it's rafe calling r " sugardoll ", he's so mean please 😭😭 i think i make him a little too dark to the point, i'm questionning about how he can be sweet to the reader now ????? but i guess, it's part of the game. tysm @bunnyrafe and @fae-of-prey me a lot !
#writing is a sport and i have asthma#LMFAOO i write smut like a fifteen years old girl but i promise i'm twenty one ^^#i write like i drive (i don't drive...)#tysm if you reading this bc it's shitty as hell#rafe cameron#outer banks#obx#rafe cameron x reader#obx content#rafe x reader#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron smut#dark!rafe#dark content#tw kidnapping#mean!rafe#obx au#obx fic#rafe cameron x y/n#tw violence#rafe cameron fic#rafe cameron prompt#dividers by dollywons#dark!rafe x reader#rafe is too mean ? 🤨#rafe cameron x reader smut#rafe obx#outerbanks rafe#rafecore#rafe outer banks
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Hey fanfiction writers: If no one's ever told you this before, it's not just fanfiction.
It's something you spent hours, days, maybe even months on, pouring your heart out onto a page because you were so full of passion and thoughts about a story or characters, you felt like you were going to explode if you didn't get it out. Maybe you lost sleep because your mind was racing with ideas or you forgot to eat or drink water because you were so focused. Maybe your back aches from being hunched over for so long, unmoving. Maybe you even felt like you were going a little feral because you were so excited about what you were creating, or were frustrated when you got stuck. Either way, you put your heart, mind, soul, and body into making something.
It's okay to want people to read it, and it's okay if you're disappointed that they don't or it doesn't get as much of a reaction as you were hoping for. Humans are social creatures. Sure, we write for ourselves, but we also share because the joy of doing so is just as powerful as the joy of the process. Of having created something.
We all experience that joy and that disappointment, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
So it's okay. It's not just fanfiction.
#writing#fic writing#fanfiction#fanfic#writlbr#just had to get this out there#fanfiction has brought me so much joy for ~25 years now#big thank you to everyone that feels sad about their stuff and still writes anyway#i love you and i appreciate you#and i guarantee i'm not the only one
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prime and protector fanart for @astolat's story, fool's hope on ao3
#megop#maccadam#transformers#optimus prime#megatron#this is fanart from a year ago that i decided to finally post#with tf one coming out soon i hope everyone will fall in love with megop anew#it's the ship that got me into tf fandom and will forever be dear to my heart#if you have never read astolat's megop fics please do!!!#they are all fantastic#my art#illustration
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A Wild Battinson (Social Media AU)
Part 57 (Masterlist)
Part 58 Coming At Some Point
@bruciemilf
Hey so uhh it's been a while. (If you look closely, squint a little, I literally made some of these photos over a year ago. I feel SICK. This AU is ancient.)
Here’s the SNL episode once again for the uninitiated.
Okay so hear me out. I know a lot of people were excited to see Caleb discover the batcave yada yada but the #1 rule is No One Figures It Out. Otherwise, the entire point of the series is obsolete and it ends. (Tim does find out ofc but not Caleb. None of the main cast. No OCs.) So he gets let go from babysitting Dick and Jason, mostly because Bruce and Alfred realize their mistake, and he never sees the batcave. RIP. ANYWAYS hope y’all forgive me. Didn’t realize I was implying that until everyone started screaming about it in the comments. Caleb is still blissfully unaware :)
No idea when the next part is coming out. I am currently in an airport banging this out before I convince myself not to post it AGAIN but you guys deserve better. It’s the holidays. So Merry December 19th-ish. Peace :)
#was this in my drafts since the DAY I posted the last one???? perhaps#sometimes thousands of people reading this fic is overwhelming and disappearing for almost an entire year is nice idc#sue me (affectionate)#also#the fact the F1 season finished recently totally has nothing to do with my longer than usual hiatus#they dropped Logan :/ how was I supposed to cope#is this a safe space#a wild battinson#battinson#bruce wayne#batman#the batman 2022#the batman#dc#batman 2022#dc universe#batfamily#only in gotham#gotham#gothamite#give battinson a child 2k24#guys it’s almost time for 2k25 I’m going to THROW UP#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#alfred pennyworth#social media au#social media#saturday night live
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mombin pt 9!! it's been too long i'm sorry
(1)(2)(3)(4)(5)(6)(7)(8)
#stobin#stranger things#mombin#steve harrington#robin buckley#this is a panic attack i could see myself having no matter how badly i wanted kids#shit's terrifying#also i need to stop trying different brushes i hate it literally every time#also i'm in the 'fic writers stop demonising nancy' club#i Eat it when relationships end badly but let it be NOBODY'S fault#like think of the WORST breakup you had as a teenager. as a former 15 year old you're just so stupid and that's ok#sometimes 'i love you but we're absolutely not supposed to keep doing this' is MORE painful than one person being a raging bitch
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fanart for @teamxdark!! based on the descriptions from this story, i loved the outfit designs and white-silver and black-golden colours for them so much <3
#sth#sonic fanart#fic fanart#sonic and the black knight#also known as SatBK (Saturday Burger King)#arthurlot#sonadow#kicks and dresses#the handholding#first artwork of the year and i'm really happy with this one :>#it's all painted on like 2-3 layers and was a very chill process overall#i should do this more often
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Honestly I think a lot of people who have never made a gif for tumblr don't get that it does actually take time and effort, its not just rip it from a video and post it- you have to download the video, in my case I have a video player installed that grabs continuous caps, figure out what parts you need, you have to open those in photoshop or gimp, depending on where you got photoshop you might be paying for it every month and then on top of that is actually sizing, cropping, colouring, sharpening, adding text, etc. etc. like it is something that takes time and effort for which the only real reward is creating something that makes you happy and hopefully people reblog it with a nice or funny tag, so maybe keep that in mind the next time you think gif makers are being mean or unfair for being upset about reposts. It is its own little artform that is fairly unique to this website, and that's a big aspect of why I have always loved tumblr, if all the gifmakers stopped posting things would be a lot more boring around here.
#like its well known reposting art or fic is rude so idk why gifs are free game#and why people are always so ~its just a gif~ okay well if its *just* a gif then you go and make one to that quality#oh wait you cant bc it actually does take time and practice#ive been at this for years and i still dont know all the tips and tricks#also the reason i mention all the software needed is bc like. you have to find install learn and it takes up space on the drive#so just reblog stuff and appreciate people that make fun content
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An eye for an eye, a life for a life
#happy halloween!#halloween#revisiting an old AU this year#loosely based on that one ladyreapermc fic <3#john wick#john wick au#demon wick#my art
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…..I should be working rn but one of the songs in my playlist hit harder than usual so
#maccadam#transformers#deadlock#idw deadlock#drift#ratchet#idw ratchet#dratchet#ratchlock#also#this kind of fics that makes them run into each other during the war#while Ratchet is younger and Drift is still Deadlock#i love them#*stops shooting* oh hey Doc#*stops shooting* oh hey kid#both proceed to just casually ignoring each other’s fractions#Deadlock would never even think of killing Ratchet and Ratchet would never betray this trust#…….sometimes I like to think that tfp Ratchet doesn’t like being called ‘doc’ because that was how tfp Deadlock called him#one day I gather enough motivation to draw that one comic I was thinking about for half a year now#about tfp Deadlock arriving to earth to rejoin Megatron#and then humans and Autobots at some point discovering his fucked up romantic situation with Ratchet#….I just thought I probably would need to make Deadlock flying alt mode so he’s not completely useless in space and sky#eh idk#I just wanna draw everyone’s O_O faces when Decepticon’s high in command just casually calls Ratchet doc or Ratch or smth#oh wow I got carried away with these tags
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can’t help but think of how, if we choose to go by sirius’ characterisation as a private, arrogant teen who only lets a select few into his circle, sirius’ post-azkaban life just have been such an utterly humiliating experience for him.
especially OoTP. when he has all these near strangers in his childhood house, that he hated and loved and ran away from and couldn’t ever escape. if he spent his entire pre-azkaban existence building a cold and aloof persona, not letting people know what his home life had been like, then to have all of these people get a front row seat to it because of kreacher and portrait walburga’s shenanigans must have been near unbearable. to have the entire order, including snape whom he disliked and mistrusted, hear the kinds of names he’s being called.
not only does he have to deal with the retraumatisation of his childhood, but also the fact that he’s flayed open for everyone to see. it’s not only his freedom, innocence, dignity that has been snatched from him but his privacy also. it’s such a cruel thing to experience, on top of everything else.
to have literal children, his godson who he has been kept away from all this while, whom he presumably wants to be able to look up to him, to have him see into the deepest parts of his soul. to have to be so weak in front of him. not only is he subjected to such vileness but he also cannot do anything about it.
sirius has not had a moment of peace in all the time we knew him. it is indignity upon indignity that is heaped onto him. every other character has gotten a moment of respite but him. it fully breaks my heart.
#sirius black#i am in the mood to sob tonight clearly#i just#was reading a fic#where it recounted walburga ad kreacher’s screams and taunts#and it suddenly hit me how humiliating they are?#like#even if it’s an inanimate object and a house elf#to be called an embarrassment and shame of my flesh and filth#by the only remaining members of your family#and to have it be traced back to your family#to know that your mother was alive but did not care that u were in azkaban#and that everyone else knows it too now#to walk around in every corner of your childhood house and be able to see exactly how u grew up#no boundaries no limits#to have other people keep touching parts of your family with the audacity to throw them out#and move it around#to call your home names#i just. cannot imagine.#the level of helplessness he was operating with#is it really any wonder he was the way he was#hell. he was actually so much better than he should’ve been#lesser men would’ve been catatonic or going off on a rage fuelled warpath#it’s so embarrassing to have your parent even correct u in front of friends sometimes#and to hear all this abuse. shouted at you.#and not one person ever stands up for him#or shows him any empathy#i’m actually amazed that even after all these years i’m able to find new tragedies in sirius life#HAS THAT MAN NOT BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH#pen’s notes
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