#One Month Old Baby Funny Cartoon Games 2016

[fly-pow-bye]

What’s Airing On Cartoon Network (November 2019)

The Futon Critic updated with Cartoon Network’s listings for November, featuring the return of Apple & Onion, the return of Total Dramarama, a Craig of the Creek special, and more! See it after the break!

Apple & Onion

November 2nd:

Apple's Focus - Apple helps Onion achieve his dream of competing on a baking show. Includes special guest Sue Perkins (Great British Bake Off). (9:30 AM)

Lil Noodle - Apple and Onion must remain legit enough to be in their favorite rapper's music video. Includes special guest Timothy DeLaGhetto. (9:45 AM)

Gyranoid of the Future - Apple and Onion struggle to ride Gyranoid of the Future, the craziest roller coaster at the carnival. (10:00 AM)

Fun Proof - Apple and Onion want to become this week's "Most Fun People". (10:15 AM)

November 9th:

Whale Spotting - Apple and Onion need to join an exclusive club to see a rare whale. (9:30 AM)

Heatwave - Apple and Onion try to spread cheer during a city-wide heatwave. (9:45 AM)

Apple's in Charge - Apple is put in charge of the Dollar Store for the very first time. (10:00 AM)

Burger's Trampoline - Apple and Onion must find a way to use Burger's trampoline without making him feel used. (10:15 AM)

November 16th:

Baby Boi TP - Apple needs to acquire a lifetime supply of toilet paper to finish his modern art sculpture. (9:30 AM)

Not Funny - With their 6 month friend anniversary approaching, Apple has to find a way not to lose his best friend. (9:45 AM)

November 23rd:

Onionless - Apple tries to survive a weekend alone while taking care of Onion's plant. (9:30 AM)

Party Popper - Apple and Onion's party plans are interrupted by a grumpy guest. (9:45 AM)

November 30th:

Face Your Fears - Apple and Onion must face their fears while trapped in a pet shop, so they can save French Fry from facing hers. (9:30 AM)

Apple's Short - Apple needs to be tall so that he can be in love. (9:45 AM)

Bakugan: Battle Planet

November 3rd:

Happy/One Way or Another - Happy: The AO expect a fight in Brakistan, but soon discover that old enemies Lord Brakken, Magnus, and Nillious are unnaturally happy to see them./One Way or Another: In the heat of emotions, Shun convinces Lord Brakken that his usual enemies are the best allies he has to sequester a renegade Core Cell. (7:00 AM)

November 10th:

Stormy Weather/Who Can it Be Now - Stormy Weather: On a flight to their next Core Cell mission, the AO's plane falls under attack by Pyravian, who strangely believes the team to be Bakuzon./Who Can It Be Now: The AO find themselves in a battle against the Bakuzon forces of Tiko that upends everything they thought they knew about Core Cells. (7:00 AM)

November 17th:

In My Room/An Army of Their Own - In My Room: When the AO report that they've been fighting the wrong fight, they discover that Benton has been corrupted by the villainous Tiko./An Army of Their Own: The AO are forced to turn to Philomena Dusk for help, only to realize that they have led Benton/Tiko right to the AAAnimus Campus. (7:00 AM)

November 24th:

Calling All Parents/Nowhere to Turn - Calling All Parents: When the parents of the world are turned against their children and confiscate their Bakugan, the AO must seek out the Rowdy Reds./Nowhere to Turn: While the AO attempt to gain allies and warn other children, Wynton is confronted by Armstrong Tripp, who now works for Benton Dusk. (7:00 AM)

Ben 10 (2016)

November 2nd:

My Bodyguard - When Zombozo hypnotizes Grandpa Max's entire baking class it is up to Ben and Gwen to clean up the mess, but it gets even messier when Zombozo unveils his new bodyguard: Kevin 11! (12:00 PM)

Wheels of Fortune - Team Tennyson's thrift store shopping is ruined by the latest high-speed heist of LaGrange - who is now aided by a super-fast electromagnetic racing car - and Ben must convince Kevin 11 to help stop the speed demon's globetrotting robbing spree. (12:15 PM)

November 9th:

Heat of the Moment - After Ben easily dispatches the Weatherheads, Team Tennyson travels to a ski resort for some fun in the snow but when Ben runs into the Weatherheads yet again, this time they are a force to reckon with. (12:00 PM)

Vin Diagram - When Ben sees Vin Ethanol impressed with Kevin's automotive know-how, Ben's jealousy has him convinced that he has to out-do Kevin before the older boy influences Vin to embrace his bad-guy side at a charity race. (12:15 PM)

November 16th:

A Sticky Situation - All Ben wants to do is stop Queen Bee from robbing a bank, but when Kevin shows up to try and be the hero and take all the glory himself, Ben will need to save the day twice or end up in hot honey. (12:00 PM)

What Rhymes with Omnitrix? - At a poetry slam event, Charmcaster's reading of Kevin's poetry causes magical trouble for Ben and Gwen, causing mind swaps that have everyone confused as to who's fighting who. (12:15 PM)

November 23rd:

You Remind Me of Someone - Ben and Gwen look for the infamous Bojamboo (the Bigfoot of the South) and discover that it's actually the Forgeti, at the same time as Kevin 11, but when Ben and Kevin are blasted with the Forgeti's forgetfulness mist, they reverse roles and it's up to Gwen and Max to restore them back to normal. (12:00 PM)

Adrenaland Jr. - Team Tennyson visits the safety-neutered version of Adrenaland known as "Adrenaland Jr.", only to end up facing off against a bitter Kevin 11, out to destroy everyone else's good, and safe, time. (12:15 PM)

November 30th:

Steam Fight at the OK Corral - When Kevin convinces Steam Smythe to adopt a modern approach in fighting Ben, our young hero must resort to old-fashioned thinking to save the day. (12:00 PM)

I Don't Like You - Ben and Gwen's social media battle with Kevin 11 quickly escalates into an all-out war in real life. (12:15 PM)

Craig of the Creek

November 23rd:

Craig and the Kid's Table (Half-Hour Special) - It's a Williams Family Thanksgiving, which means it's time to reunite The Kid's Table! But when Bernard accidentally destroys dessert, Craig uses the power of the Kids Table to help save his brother from certain grounding. (10:00 AM, half hour)

Teen Titans Go!

November 9th:

Teen Titans Vroom (Half-Hour Special) - In this episode of "Turbo Titans Go Force" the Titans gain the ability to transform into cars. Then, in the exciting conclusion of "Turbo Titans Go Force" the Titans must learn to work together to stop Dr. Military. (10:30 AM, half hour)

November 27th:

Beast Boy's That's What's Up - Beast Boy goes to visit the Doom Patrol. Beast Boy, Negative Girl, and Robotman discover some crabs are up to no good. Cyborg becomes inseparable from Robotman. It's time for Beast Boy to leave, but the Doom Patrol try to get him to stay. (6:00 PM)

Total Dramarama

November 2nd:

Mutt Ado About Owen - After accidentally hypnotizing Owen into being a dog, Harold thinks he must reverse the hypnosis to avoid going to jail. (9:00 AM)

Simons Are Forever - Duncan and Leshawna try to take advantage of Izzy's love for the game of Simon Says. (9:15 AM)

November 9th:

Stop! Hamster Time - Owen takes over the job of caring for the class hamster and learns that he's evil. (9:00 AM)

Driving Miss Crazy - Duncan leads Beth to believe she's broken his battery-powered bike and makes her chauffeur him around in a wagon for the day as punishment. (9:15 AM)

November 16th:

Weiner Takes All - After forgetting to book a Hot Diggity Doggity Dog mascot on National Hotdog Day, Chef tries to pass off an Australian man dressed as a kangaroo as a substitute. (9:00 AM)

Apoca-lice Now - When Chef brokers a truce with lice by selecting three kids to "host" them on their heads, Courtney instigates a kid vs. lice war. (9:15 AM)

November 23rd:

Gnome More Mister Nice Guy - When the daycare gets taken over by evil gnomes, Duncan finds himself on the wrong team. (9:00 AM)

Look Who's Clocking - When Harold's warnings not to mess with the clock go ignored, the kids are forced to save themselves when Duncan tears a hole in the fabric of time. (9:15 AM)

November 30th:

Harold Swatter and the Goblet of Flies - After finding what he believes to be a magic wand, Owen accidentally turns Harold into a housefly. (9:00 AM)

Stink. Stank. Stunk. - When a skunk comes seeking its annual revenge on Chef, Duncan sees it as an opportunity to get a vacation from daycare. (9:15 AM)

Transformers Cyberverse

November 2nd:

Spotted - As the Autobots prepare for an attack, Cheetor struggles to find his place amongst the tight-knit group. (6:30 AM)

November 9th:

Secret Science - Shockwave kidnaps Wheeljack to help the Decepticons find Starscream, but he underestimates the wily Autobot inventor. (6:30 AM)

November 16th:

Infinite Vendetta - The Autobots and Decepticons are surprised by the sudden arrival of two bots locked in a millennia long feud. (6:30 AM)

November 23rd:

I Am the Allspark - Starscream unleashes the ultimate attack on the Autobots and Decepticons. (6:30 AM)

November 30th:

Escape from Earth - The Autobots have the Allspark! Now they just have to get it off Earth. (6:30 AM)

[nikatyler]

Long time no replies. Yeah. Last week, I couldn’t do them on Sunday. I couldn’t do them on Monday either because I was in Prague all day and got back home at midnight. I thought I’d do them on Tuesday but then I didn’t feel like it, and then there was school stuff and other stuff and yeah here we are, it’s another Sunday. I don’t think anyone cares that much though :D

I’ve been working on Rose Legacy all weekend. It’s been so much fun. Right now, I’m halfway through the first part of it, the part that’s focused on quadruplets. I had a phase a few days ago, I was thinking about switching to ts3 again and I felt like I didn’t actually want to do it for some reason. Probably because I’ve been posting ts4 for months now and switching games after such a long time has always been kinda weird. It was always the other way around though - I posted more ts3 and less ts4. Eh, you don’t care :D Now I’m excited for posting that legacy again. I still think of them as of my “mascots” to be honest, they’ve been here since before I had a simblr. Anyway, January 2019. Roses are back. It’s gonna be great. I hope.

Another thing no one cares about, it snowed for the first time today and it hasn’t melted yet. I’m so happy. I'm like a child when it comes to this, really.

elisabettasims replied to your photo “create-a-sim replied to your photo “When you’re reading this, it’s...”

One of my fondest high school memories is of my prom night. I'm glad yours was awesome, too.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photo “create-a-sim replied to your photo “When you’re reading this, it’s...”

Oh, I remember my prom, it was maybe th esecond coolest memory of school! Now I sometimes look back at it and feel nostalgious (less than half a year passed, yo). Glad, you enjoyed yours, too<3

It’s been two weeks and I’m still thinking about it. It has really been the best thing about high school so far, and I doubt anything will top it. We finally got the video of the prom on Friday. I haven’t been able to watch it but I hope it’s good :D

simlovinggirl replied to your photoset “I didn’t know December now runs a gardening Instagram account.”

Only the coolest grandmas have gardening Instagram accounts :P

Truuuu

I helped my grandma start a Pinterest account but I wonder what it would be like if she joined Instagram as well :D

andruskysworld replied to your photoset

Cute cat ��

She really is cute! I didn’t even edit her that much, aside from the colours of course. I might have changed her fur too, but I’m not sure about that.

jackssims replied to your photoset “Ross: “Alright mum, I’ll have to go now. Look after Sunset, okay?”...”

//Ross//, buddy, pal, you gotta do something with her, even if it means watching some cartoons here and there

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “Ross: “Alright mum, I’ll have to go now. Look after Sunset, okay?”...”

Argh! He's so frustrating!

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Ross: “Alright mum, I’ll have to go now. Look after Sunset, okay?”...”

ROOOSSS!!!

December. it`s time to use handcuffs to chain Ross to his daughter

Yeah. But it’s gonna get better I promise. At this point I think it’s kinda showing...it’s baby steps but he’s gonna get there somehow I promise. Not saying he’ll be the ideal dad but you know. He won’t be the worst one. Have faith in him :D

simmering-pancakes replied to your photoset “Bella: “But…dead people can’t vote.” Ross: “They will be allowed to...”

�� This makes me so happy.

whysimstho replied to your photoset “Bella: “But…dead people can’t vote.” Ross: “They will be allowed to...”

*rides in on skateboard* "HEY YALL I THINK GHOSTS SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO VOTE!!!"

I find it funny that he was able to ask a ghost for a vote. Also imagine if this was possible irl. It’s kinda scary actually :D

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Good luck at school!”

to cute for me to handle

I knooooooow

damn these Breeze genes will be the death of me

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Things are going great. Really great.”

Except for... maybe... your daughter?

He cares about his success at work more than he cares about his daughter. *shrugs*

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “Pass the happy �� When you get this, reply with 5 things that make you...”

A big YES to the pointless edits!

What could be more entertaining when everything else is boringXD

Exactly! And also, I’m often like “okay I’m just gonna take a look at all these pictures I’ve taken today and then I’ll go to bed” and then oops, I’m editing one and doing all sorts of stuff and oops, it’s midnight and I know I’ll be dead the next day. Pointless edits are one of the reasons why I don’t get enough sleep, basically.

Btw guys, here’s my HUGE folder of screenshots waiting to be edited in case you’re ever bored :D

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “Ross: “My sister got a letter today. She’s gonna go to uni.” Caleb:...”

I swear, Ross, if you don't stop forgetting your daughter ... also, I hope he rejects you.

melien replied to your photoset “Ross: “My sister got a letter today. She’s gonna go to uni.” Caleb:...”

Lmao seconded Caleb deserves better

Do you ever see an absolutely terrible person, but somehow everything turns out right for them and you’re just hoping for karma to hit them in the face but instead they keep getting things they don’t deserve? Ross is that kind of person.

Also, love how everyone turned from “yasss we ship Ross and Caleb” to “oh no poor Caleb we must protect him from the evil that is Ross” lmao

melien replied to your photoset

Persephone is now easily my favourite character in this legacy

She was mine too and then someone else entered. Find out tomorrow :D

melien replied to your photoset “Valentine: “Are you feeling a little unwell, brother? Is Sunset...”

After all he's ever done I can't help but hope he has the worst indigestion issues ever

He was sick many times so maybe karma did hit him in the face a little bit

melien replied to your photoset “Look Ross. You’ve made mistakes and we all know that. We all hate you...”

I guess Claret hates him too

Aww yes I’m here for that

Also Bianca. Back in 2016 Bianca liked setting things on fire. Good old times.

God, Bianca would hate him so much. That argument she had with Tyler in chapter 3? It would be three time worse if she had to fight with Ross. She’d probably actually fight him.

melien replied to your photoset “She’s beautiful.”

Can I adopt her

Too late I adopted her first

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “It’s happening. It’s really happening! I can’t believe it. Do I even...”

Yeah but he doesn't deserve it. I also know the rules of this generation so, LOL

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “It’s happening. It’s really happening! I can’t believe it. Do I even...”

FUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!

Yeah. i was waiting for it, but... I somehow feel, like Caleb deserves better, much better. And I wouldn`t be surprised if Caleb would leave Ross this will serve him right

I still was waiting for this kiss, but it`s kinda... bittersweet?

jackssims replied to your photoset “It’s happening. It’s really happening! I can’t believe it. Do I even...”

I'm very happy with this but also very conflicted (more or less for the reasons the others described in their comments)

Can I just say I’m glad it came off like this. Bittersweet. I kind of wanted that, to be honest. Not in the “yasss I’ll make my followers cry I’m so evil hahaha” way though. Idk it’s hard to explain.

It’s different from other legacy couples, in my opinion, and I’m here for that. It’s kinda refreshing. I mean, usually people love the heir, love their spouse, want them to get together. This one? This one is something else.

I’m not saying I’m gonna make all my heirs assholes from now on, don’t get me wrong. But it was fun to try something new :D

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Breeze, Valentine - the better half of the breeze siblings - too pure...”

somehow i managed to miss so much! she1s beautiful!

Thank you! I had so much fun dressing her up for this.

jackssims replied to your photoset “Me when my otp becomes canon”

Big Mood

Yeah. But also this is really how my otps make me feel

Btw, at this point they definitely weren’t my otp just yet. Like I was kinda obsessed with them, but I wouldn’t call them my otp.

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “December: “Wait, no! You can’t just beat me like this! Ugh.” Sunset:...”

Caleb is a cinnamon roll and should be protected at all costs.

Y E S

jackssims replied to your photoset “December: “Wait, no! You can’t just beat me like this! Ugh.” Sunset:...”

December isn’t wrong here tbh

If only she had admitted that earlier

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “When I opened the game again, the girls came home from school for some...”

Is it a holiday? When there are holidays in game, there was a bug where, if you had a loading screen for any reason (even CAS) sims would come home from work and school.

Nope, it was a regular day. Still a better bug than the current one :/ I thought I’d start playing gen 3 but I don’t want my sims to age up when I enter CAS. I know there’s a fix for it now, I’ll probably look into it tomorrow.

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “this shouldn’t be funny to me but it is funny to me help”

NOOOOOO. Also dying sims are so dramatic.

Oh yes. I think I prefer the dying animation in ts3, where they just sort of turn into ghost. The ts4 animation might be more realistic, but the ts3 one is just...beautiful, in a way. Sad but beautiful.

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “Nooo, December! Hold on just a little longer, don’t forget what you...”

:((((

jackssims replied to your photoset “Nooo, December! Hold on just a little longer, don’t forget what you...”

NOOOOO :((

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “W-what?! No…wait a second Grim, I’m sure she’s just unconscious…right...”

(((

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “Nooo, December! Hold on just a little longer, don’t forget what you...”

:(

I really didn’t expect her to die that day. I had PLANS. And she ruined them.

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “No. No. That can’t be real.”

This is only the second time I've felt bad for Ross. :(

It was bad, but at least it opened his eyes and made him realize that he has to be there for his daughter or else she’d have no one. More on that below.

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “23rd March 2018 - 5th July 2018 It’s been months and I’m still sad...”

December was an awesome character.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “23rd March 2018 - 5th July 2018 It’s been months and I’m still sad...”

Farewell, December, you were great!

She was ;-;

Also isn’t it sad that her name is December but she didn’t live to see the month of December?

jackssims replied to your photoset “Ross: “Hey…hey, Sun. Look at me. Everything is going to be alright,...”

We’ll all be holding you to those promises, Ross (but in all honesty this is a touching moment)

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “Ross: “Hey…hey, Sun. Look at me. Everything is going to be alright,...”

Awwww. Ross, I hope this keeps improving!

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Ross: “Hey…hey, Sun. Look at me. Everything is going to be alright,...”

You better Do fix this, Ross!

This, for me, was also very bittersweet. Because it’s awesome that he finally realized he has to be there for her, and it’s great that he finally cares, yay character development...but December had to die for him to realize. That sucks.

I have to say something else here...at this point, you’d think I would make them interact more. I didn’t really. I don’t know why, but I didn’t. So really, who’s the bad person here? I’d just like to say that from here on, they were closer, they spent more time together, even if I somehow didn’t show it. Past me, you’re stupid, this was such a big part and you ruined it.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Too bad I can’t keep you forever, Kitty. But I’m sure you’ll have fun...”

Persephone: Someone please help!

Persephone:

justkeeponsimming replied to your photoset “Village Vibes I finished furnishing this house the day I had my prom...”

SUPER CUTE!!!!

Thank you thank you thank you ♥ I had so much fun building this house.

unbridledsims replied to your post “9, 15, 19 for Valentine or any character you would like to share for....”

Thank you for sharing hun. It was nice getting to know her. I like that you did all the questions, very nice.

Thank you for asking! I love her and it was fun to answer this.

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “Ross: “No pets allowed. Persephone was the only exception.” Sunset:...”

Because Ross is self-centered and doesn't understand how to take care of another living being :D Any pet he had would starve to death or something.

Yeah, maybe he doesn’t want a pet because he knows he’d be so bad at taking care of it :D Maybe he has a good reason for once. Well, not exactly good, but you know what I mean.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “In the morning, he decided to plant a plasma fruit tree in front of...”

The Sims - the only place where the combination "vampire" and "vegetarian" does make sense ��

Now that I think about it, I’ve never actually played with a vampire that has the Vegetarian trait. Oooh. I should. Or maybe I could replace one of Caleb’s traits and see what it does. Doesn’t he have the Foodie trait? Makes no sense to me but ok ea. I know he’s the good vampire and all that but still.

[dustedmagazine]

2016/2020: Patrick Masterson

If what you came to read was my 2020 wrapped, here: Yves Tumor’s Heaven to a Tortured Mind was my favorite album. HAAi’s Put Your Head Above the Parakeets was my favorite EP. Oleksandr Yurchenko and Svitlana Nianio’s Lichy Do Sta Symphony No. 1 was my favorite reissue. Overmono’s take on Rosalía’s “A Palé” was my favorite remix. Protomartyr’s “Processed by the Boys” was my favorite video. Equiknoxx’s Vinyl Factory set was my favorite mix. Lil Baby’s “The Bigger Picture” was song of the summer. The best show I saw was SuperKnova at Chicago’s Sleeping Village in February. My Spotify account doesn’t reflect any of this.

What follows is an unused essay for The Believer’s Distancing series that Dusted alumnus Daniel Levin-Becker ran for most of 2020. The idea behind the column was to write something personal about an album that took you to a space away from quarantine’s confines. I’d intended it as a kind of spiritual companion or prequel to the essay of mine that ran in May, but I think it functions as an endnote for this year just as much as it would’ve for 2016, when I sat out Dusted’s year-end features. Call it making up for lost time.

As I get older, I’m often reminded that music doesn’t save and it doesn’t really heal the way I once thought it could — but it does let you feel, which is to say it lets you know you’re alive. In a year where government ineptitude and personal irresponsibility actively worked against that, music took on added importance for its normality. Artists kept releasing. I kept listening. The ritual remained. I don’t know what 2021 brings the same way I didn’t know what 2017 had in store, but I do know what I’ll be doing until my ears finally fail me. Over my dead body is right. Thanks for reading.

- - -

Distancing #XX: Rojus (Designed to Dance)

Hitler, man. Fucking unbelievable.

I laugh at the thought, leaned back and following the shadow of an umbrella to shield my sunburned skin from further exposure on the main floor of Larcomar, an open-air mall carved into Lima’s Pacific cliffside, watching paragliders take off at regular intervals and nursing a bottle of Cusqueña in the final idle hours of my trip down here. My youngest brother is across the table, sunglasses on, shaking his head, then nodding like the Alonzo Mourning gif as he nurses his own: Yeah, we did do this, didn’t we. We met Hitler in Peru.

Well, sort of. That’s how I’m going to lead off the story of what I did for Christmas 2016, anyway. The truth is less sordid, no zombies: We’d been walking aimlessly the evening before around Miraflores, a neighborhood that never seemed to end and stopped at the sandwich shop La Lucha. I ordered a jamon y queso (relearning Spanish on the fly, needless to say, has its limits) and was rung up by Wilson, a very ordinary name, and served up by Jitler, which… I don’t know, maybe I’m the only person in line who gave it a second thought, but say that with a Spanish accent and it sure seems like something you, as a parent with even a vague awareness of the last 100 years on earth, wouldn’t risk naming your kid unless you were looking to prompt a lot of questions already answered by your kid’s name. Right? No fucking way? Unbelievable.

I tip the bottle back and think over how that hasn’t even been the best part of this trip. The best part, truly, is the bread. If I asked my friends to name three things they know about Peru, they’d say Machu Picchu or the Incas, probably ceviche, maybe coffee or pisco sours. They aren’t wrong, but there’s a more right answer: I haven’t had bad bread the entire time I’ve been in this country. From paninis to pizzas to hot dog rolls (what can I say, I panicked staring down a sizable menu and a dog just sounded right in the moment), every loaf or slice or roll has smelled tremendous and tasted better. I’m sure of it now: There really is something to breadmaking by the sea, as any defender of a New York bagel will tell you.

Is Peru the only country I’ve never eaten bad bread in? I take another sip, can’t remember.

On the other hand, why is every napkin here half-sized and single ply? It feels like you have to fight for each perforation of napkin no matter the buttery goodness of your bread. Maybe paper is just valued differently or people are neater here, but I’m sure of this, too: There has to be a reason the same way there’s a reason the bread is good and the straws are so big and the restaurant and bar hours are strange and only one guy does all the Liga 1 commentary and you can’t check into a flight until three hours before, but security for it closes two hours before and the gate is 15 minutes before. I have a lot more than Conversation in the Cathedral to read when I get back, I think. There’s a lot to be explained.

For example, what I’m even doing in Peru for Christmas to begin with. It started as a joke, I’ll tell people: I got hired in May for a job after being unemployed for seven of the previous 13 months. It took nine years, but this was finally the position I’d wanted since I graduated, the role I felt I was put on this planet to fulfill, and in this aspect of my life at least, I was relieved. My friend had planned a New Year’s Eve wedding and the logistics of bumming around friends’ couches or staying at my parents’ house for more than a week didn’t quite add up, so I told my brother, wouldn’t it be funny to go somewhere weird for Christmas instead? I’ve never been to Calgary or Albuquerque or Little Rock. Then it was Cuba, then Argentina, then Peru — hey, my brother says, I’ve got a friend who knows the country and is all about us going down there.

We check the flights. It’s laughably affordable for us both.

Like a lot of my trips in recent years, then, the logistics escalate quickly from theoretical to real: I play around with dates, times, connecting flights and strange airports in an effort to game the system and get a little bit extra trimmed off the cost. We commit to plane tickets, a hotel, itineraries. He gets phone numbers of people his friend knows down there. Where in Newark do you want to meet up before the flight? How far can we go once we’ve arrived? Is there anything we collectively need to see? Isn’t this dumb and delightful? And that’s it, crucial questions answered, pieces in place: I’m visiting Lima.

Everyone should travel like that, I think, watching another paraglider set off. In one way, I’m thinking about all the ridiculous pieces it took to put me here. In another, though, my mind is as far away as we are from Chicago. I’m stalling, trying not to think about what’s happened back home. Two weeks before, I was in Charlotte enduring grade school friends’ condolences like it was a funeral instead of the wedding it actually was. “I heard about what happened.” “I’m really sorry to hear about you and.” “I was looking forward to finally.” And so on. For someone who usually has so much to gab about, I still haven’t worked out how to say what I’m really feeling. It’s crushing and confusing when you think you’ve found the most powerful relationship in your life and effortlessly reached a kind of platonic ideal, the kind of intimacy most people go their whole lives not knowing — and then, slowly, you find it’s less true than you imagined, find something more powerful. Nothing can prepare you for what you can’t ignore. I have no idea what institutional oppression is like and I’ve done nothing but benefit from a system designed to serve me, so I feel too guilty to admit to anyone I’m an emotional wreck when their grandparents are dying and their worlds are changing and we’ve just elected a self-important cartoon for president, but there is always a “but” with stuff like this. I remember the bar in the hours before I left for Newark where I was tired and thirsty and tired of being thirsty, the train ride to O’Hare, pausing to look back before I passed on through security. There is always a reason.

All of that was the old world, I think to myself. This, though? This right here? This is the new. I think back to the intramural soccer matches we watched after downing the sandwiches and moving on; for all we know, we might’ve been watching a fourth division game out there. Beautiful palm trees, incredible summer weather, pull-ups on the beach, pisco sours with the hotel staff as a transgender game show host soundtracked our Christmas countdown, Brenda and Renzo and Callao and Christmas day turkey with a family I didn’t know and bubblegum soda and Barranco beer and Cerro San Cristobal and cherimoya slushies. Typhoon evacuation signs. The modern art museum. Lanes and turn signals as suggestions. Far away clears my head.

I know what I’m doing even when I don’t always know I know what I’m doing and God has that gotten me in some trouble, but I know what I’m weak for and I know what my strengths are and I think I know how to play it better yet. This is where I start to get myself correct, stop being my own worst enemy. I have a plan. I’m going to straighten things out and get my mind and life in order and all this pent up fear, this sadness and disappointment and self-defeating anxiety, is going to show itself out. I exhale in relief at the anticipation of it: Yes, 2016 was a bad year, maybe my worst, a year I never want to go through again — but 2017? No, I can feel it as “Blush” rolls around in my head and I watch another paraglider set off from the cliff and out toward the sun, the sea: 2017’s going to be a good year. A really good year.

Hitler. Fucking unbelievable. I take another sip and laugh again. What do you think, I say, one more and then we go? Rory nods. One more.

Rojus (Designed To Dance) by LEON VYNEHALL

[love-takes-work]

Steven Universe Comic Big Donut Special (2016) - Outline & Review

A review and outline of the special issue comic dedicated to events at the Big Donut.

I didn't find out this existed until the day before it came out! How exciting to just suddenly get a dollop of cute comic content like this. I mean, let's be honest: stories about Steven and the Gems horsing around doing non-plot-relevant things and being cute is not exactly what Steven Universe fans tune in for, by and large, but the writers of this comic had the characters down, and every fluffy little story is such a little treat. If you're expecting plot or lore, you're not going to get it in these one-shot comics, and you should understand that only the TV show is going to go there since these are not generally created by the show's writers and storyboarders. So keep that in mind when you read comics in this universe. They're going to be fluff or mild self-contained plots, and you want to tune in to read them because you get to spend a little bit of time with the characters doing their thing.

Every story in this collection is about donuts! Yes, literally every one! So of course Steven spends a lot of time at the Big Donut and the characters Sadie and Lars make a number of appearances. Here are some notes on the stories: Clash of Gluttons:

To celebrate a blowout donut sale at the Big Donut, Steven declares that he is going to break his eating record, which draws Amethyst's attention because she's convinced she can eat way more donuts than he can. A contest is established, and the two eat themselves sick.

Steven is sure he has no more room in his stomach, but there's always room for the Father-and-Son Special when Greg arrives! Notable for fans: 1. It really doesn't make any sense in-universe for Steven to think he could beat Amethyst at eating, so the suggestion that they tied at the end is stretching credibility a bit, even in a silly plot. ;) Steven can eat, but Amethyst . . . I mean, she eats things that aren't edible, regularly, and literally does not have an organic body to worry about. 2. Steven and Amethyst have some supporters behind them as they prepare for the donut eating. Predictably, Connie and Lion are supporting Steven, but Pearl is right behind him sweating like she's distressed, while Garnet is giving Amethyst a massage and for some reason Onion is there behind her. That is peculiar.

3. Steven eats weirdly angrily while Amethyst does so with clear delight on her face. It's funny.

4. Steven...doesn't have a Gemstone in this comic?? What. There are multiple pictures of him after he ate too much with his exaggerated stomach poking out and Sara drew a regular cartoon outie bellybutton on it every time.

Big Donut Contest:

Another contest requires entrants to design donuts! Steven, inspired by the "don't donut" from last year, encourages the Gems to collaborate with him as an entering team to create the Crystal Gem combo. Surely Pearl, Garnet, and Amethyst can create something very special to contribute to the contest, right?

Well . . . hard to do when Pearl is clueless about food, Amethyst doesn't understand what food is palatable for humans since it's all yummy to her, and Garnet doesn't see the point in participating since she already knows how it all ends. But Steven anticipated their donuts not necessarily being appropriate, so he made his own Crystal Gem combo of representative donuts of the four of them. Everyone loves it.

Notable for fans: 1. Lars's slacking is called out by Steven in this episode and it's adorable.

2. Garnet and Pearl are playing video games together in Steven's room in one scene! I've never seen Pearl play video games voluntarily before. 3. An exchange between Steven and Pearl was perfectly Pearl. Steven: "Big news! DONUTS!" Pearl: "Steven, that's not news, we already know about donuts." 4. The suggestions Steven makes for the donuts they'd make are as follows: "The Pearl donut's beautiful, refined flavors! The unbeatable flavor fusion of the Garnet donut! The bold, daring Amethyst donut!" That's so cute and they're clearly all flattered by these descriptions. Of course, Steven completes the quartet with "The sweet and bubbly Steven donut!" Yes, Steven, you're adorable.

5. Steven's cooking apron has Sad Waffle from Crying Breakfast Friends on it. 6. Pearl's idea of a good donut is a hologram donut because in her eyes food you don't have to eat is ideal. Amethyst's donut is a gross pile of junk food. Wow.

7. The final Crystal Gem Combo made by Steven is super cute. Amethyst's is a filled eclair with purple frosting and a squirt of whipped cream; Pearl's is an elegant frosted pale cruller with sprinkles; Steven's appears to be a jelly-filled with pink icing and a big star decoration, and Garnet's is a heart-shaped donut with markings like Garnet's outfit, complete with red and blue star sprinkles. Garnet's reaction to this donut is so precious.

The Donut Thief:

A mysterious thief keeps taking donuts from Sadie and Lars, so Steven accompanies them to the thief's roof hideout to uncover the identity of the thief and stop the thievery. After some antics and mishaps, they find a baby raccoon is responsible. Steven wants to keep it. Notable for fans: 1. Lars grudgingly acknowledges Steven's magical abilities in this story (while saying he doesn't want to be involved if Steven's powers are). It's pretty typical, and as usual, Sadie defends him. The character dynamic is well presented here. (Same goes for when Lars wanted others to be first to climb the ladder to the roof.) 2. What!! Steven does his puppy-dog eyes on Garnet to get her to let him keep the raccoon and SHE STILL SAYS NO! What is the world coming to?

Health Inspection:

Mr. Smiley has decided to make extra cash by doing health inspections, and this throws Sadie into a panic because she's worried the Big Donut won't meet regulations. To make matters worse, the Crystal Gems are literally fighting a monster in and around the store during the inspection. But considering the monster has wrecked all the stores he's had to inspect that day, Mr. Smiley's not going to deduct points for that! Points off for untucked shirts though, Lars. Notable for fans: 1. This one is rare since it's not from Steven's perspective at all! And he's not even there fighting with the Gems when they confront and poof the monster! That's surprising. 2. Yikes, the Big Donut regularly sells expired food that Sadie has to hide for the inspection. Well, I guess that's not surprising, considering in "Lion 3: Straight to Video" Sadie was putting months-old bag lunches in the coolers. How to Donuts:

Sadie comes over to the Temple and teaches the Gems to make donuts! Steven and Sadie enlist the help of Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl to mix dough, knead it, let it rise, roll it out, cut donut shapes, create glaze, fry the donuts, drain them, and add glaze and sprinkles. A real recipe for glaze and donut dough is included!

Notable for fans: 1. Amethyst's role, predictably, is eating everything or whining when she has to wait to eat everything. Pearl and Garnet are helpful, though. Pearl makes the glaze while Garnet does the mixing and frying. Steven does the rolling and shape-cutting. I like this because you really should have an adult do the cooking-related stuff. 2. An ending scene of Amethyst stuffing multiple donuts in her mouth was expected, but I was pleasantly surprised and amused by Pearl adding sprinkles with tweezers and Garnet, for reasons unknown, holding frosted donuts up to two of her eyes and looking through them. What nerds they are.

Food Fight:

Sadie needs to do a business errand and Lars is furious that he is therefore stuck at work and unable to show off his coolest pants to his cool friends. He's so bitter and distracted that he doesn't want to sell donuts to Steven and Amethyst, and is forced into interaction with them when Amethyst just starts taking donuts and eating them.

A food fight ensues when Amethyst antagonizes Lars, and Onion gets involved as a passerby. Soon Jenny is drawn in when she walks by delivering pizzas, and Ronaldo sees what's happening and charges in with a huge bag of fries to participate. Even the other Cool Kids, Mr. Smiley, and Greg get caught in the crossfire! But Lars is still concerned about whether his very cool pants will be appreciated, which is much more important to him than who will clean up the mess. Notable for fans: 1. Jenny, delivering pizzas? Did she get a work ethic for Christmas? 2. Greg reprimanding Amethyst and assuming she started the food fight was pretty funny. I like how often they demonstrate that the characters know each other really well. Also, Amethyst calls Lars "guy." It's pretty common for the Gems to avoid learning or using humans' names, so this is really on-target dialogue. 3. The drawings are really cute--Amethyst's attitude is so well encapsulated by the expressions they've chosen for her. I love her body language, and they did great with everyone's action--you can really feel the movement. 4. Onion's murder face is unforgettable and I'm glad they included it.

Donut Derby:

Steven and Connie enter a toy car race, but Steven's car "Mr. Sprinkles" breaks during the test run. They have to find something to use for wheels very quickly or Steven's out of the race. Notable for fans: 1. Ponytail Amethyst. That is all. (It's weird, though; in the earlier frames it looks like she tied her hair with her own hair, like she did in "Steven vs. Amethyst," but in some of the later ones, it's colored in like it's a black hair tie.)

2. Connie is cute (and, again, on-point with the characterization)--she's very scientific about the aerodynamics of her car.        

[SU Book and Comic Reviews]

[bibibivnn]

One Month Old Baby Funny Cartoon Games 2016

One Month Old Baby Funny Cartoon Games 2016

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