#Omg I found this in my drafts

[alrighttherescarhead]

Imagine you're having a water birth with Grayson:

“AHH- I can't I can't I can’t” you wail, gripping tightly onto each of Grayson's arms. You were sure to leave nail indents but gray didn't care at all. All he cares about is you and your baby that was now making it's way into the world.

“you’ve got this sweetheart” he coos into your ear from behind you. “relax for a sec- breathe-”

“I WANT THIS FUCKING BABY OUTTA ME” you screech, letting go of this forearms and flipping around to kneel with your legs spread wide. You throw an arm around grays neck and rest your forehead against his shoulder as your free hand goes down in-between your legs.

You start pushing again and let out a cry. “I HATE YOU AND YOUR MASSIVE FUCKING HEAD”

To say that Gray felt bad was an understatement. “‘m so sorry I-”

“Shut the fuck up!” you snap, startling the poor boy.

She doesn’t mean it, she’s just in pain Grayson repeatedly told himself, watching your whole body tense as you begin to push, again.

Your arm, that's around graysons neck, tightens as an agonising pain shoots throughout your body, causing you to scream.

“FUUUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!” You cry.

After a few seconds you were able to catch a tiny breather. “No more babies- please? I can’t handle it, it’s too painfu- AHHHHH!” It was short-lived.

Grayson agreed, nodding his head hastily. He doesn't think he can see you go through this type of pain ever again.

“I got it, sweetheart. No more babies- no more babies” he reassures you, brushing your sweaty hair back out of your face.

[makedonsgriva]

DVAWTK AU

SYY x QCX

SYY is a pop idol and BQM is her biggest fan and she’s got her photos everywhere and she is just really really crazy about her all the time and for some reason her flatmate QCX just doesn’t GET IT. she is more or less annoyed with SYY because BQM never shuts up about her

QCX goes to a lesbian bar and hooks up with a rando woman and is not able to realise who she is in the bar’s dim lights (perfectly possible with QCX’s IQ btw) and when she realises who she has brought home with her she just loses her shit because wtf is SYY doing at her place

And SYY is smug / touched because wow this hot weirdo lesbian is also a fan! Sweet!

[stardustdiiving]

Everyone jokes about Zhongli being #old and not understanding internet meme culture but I really need to stress I think if you explained internet meme things to the Archons, Zhongli and Nahida would make “technically correct but hilariously out of touch with internet meme culture by virtue of being very well adjusted + offline” applications of internet terms in the Exact same way

Like if you explained the definition of “skrunkly” to Nahida what’s going to happen is while walking with her in the rainforest you’re going to hear her go “awww :) the skrunkly!” and turn around thinking she saw like, a cute animal or one of her Aranara or something only to realize she is referring to a specific species of plant she spotted that she thinks is nice

Meanwhile Hu Tao sends Zhongli a funny message and he responds with nothing but a very carefully taken photograph of a rock. And she is incredibly confused and after 5 minutes of decoding this goes “Zhongli are you…using this picture of a rock as a reaction image?” and Zhongli is like yes :) I am. And she’s like “why” so Zhongli sends her a very thoughtfully detailed message explaining he found this rock on a morning stroll outside the harbor and thought it has a very “humorous and engaging shape” and had little flecks of color that reminded him of a kind of jewelry accessory that was popular in Liyue 300 years ago that was often a gesture of good humor and friendship, so he found it “a good choice of image to use in a humorous interaction with a companion”

And Hu Tao is just like okay thanks Zhongli you are so interesting. Makes sense. (She thought it was just bc the rock was kind of shaped like a laughing face if you squinted)

[guardian-angle22]

PARAMEDIC TK Strand -> Season 3

[mrsfitzgerald]

rammstein - sonne ✨

[lastchristmas]

@tayloralisonswiftnetwork Cruel Summer Event | Cruel Summer Performance

cruel summer at the eras tour

[hawkeykirsah]

50 Things I Love About Kaidan Alenko

I love that little smile he gives Shepard in the med bay after Eden Prime.

I love his slip of the tongue on the Citadel in ME1 when he indirectly tells Shepard he thinks she’s beautiful.

I love his dry comments when you take him along groundside in ME1 and his snarky remarks when you talk to him back on the Normandy.

I love how annoyed he looks when Joker interrupts that almost-first kiss in front of the lockers.

I love that tentative smile he gives Shepard at the beginning of ME3.

I love that strut when he comes to Shepard’s aid in the Citadel DLC together with that smirk and the “Looks like you’re having a bad day, Shepard.”, and his smirk after asking the volus to open the gates for them on the Cision Motors skycar lot.

I love the entire Citadel DLC dinner.

I love his “Next time … wake me.”

I love the love and admiration you can see in his eyes when he comes to Shepard’s quarters before the assault on Cerberus headquarters. 

I love his “I lied. I didn’t come here for a quick drink”, and the grin on his face when he carries Shepard toward the bed.

I love how his voice wavers but doesn’t break when you talk to him in London and how he doesn’t care that everybody can see them when he kisses Shepard good-bye. 

I love his “Don’t Kaidan me!” on Mars.

I love how he turns half around and looks over his shoulder when Liara asks Shepard how they manage.

I love his incredulous “Me?” after Shepard tells him he’s always been stubborn.

I love how his voice drops at “ … can be the difference between success and sitting at home in your PJs taking red sand” when you talk to him at Huerta. (I’m certain he’s speaking from experience.)

I love how he places his hand over Shepard’s briefly after they tell him they care about what happens to him.

I love the determination on his face in the elevator during the Coup before he encounters Shepard and their team.

I love that short laugh of relief when Shepard tells him they couldn’t imagine facing the Reapers without him.

I love the moment you walk into the Starboard observation after he rejoins the Normandy and you see him staring into space.

I love how nervous he is on that first date on the Citadel.

I love his “I love you, Shepard. I always have.”

I love how he takes Shepard’s hand and presses it against his cheek.

I love his banter with Tali aboard the geth dreadnought.

I love his worried “Shepard!” when they step on that first mine on Rannoch.

I love how concerned he is while Shepard is in the geth consensus.

I love how he places his hand on Shepard’s shoulder on Mahavid.

I love his “Let’s make sure we never let time just slip by us, okay?” after returning from the mining facility.

I love his “I’m not too crazy about this plan” on Despoina followed by that little nod he gives Shepard after Shepard tells him they’ll be fine.

I love his worried “Never do that again” in the shuttle after Shepard talked to Leviathan and his “You scare the hell out of me with those risky stunts …” back on the Normandy.

I love his “Nah” on Eden Prime after Liara realizes he was joking.

I love his enthusiasm back on the Normandy after finding Javik.

I love his level of snark on Thessia. (”Reaper convention”, all his “… looks like a Prothean” comments at the temple, etc.)

I love his comment about liking a challenge when Shepard tells him Joker has a terrible poker face.

I love his reaction to James “Flawed implant” comment during the party.

I love his “Wow, Shepard. Did you really just say that?” if you side with James at the party.

I love watching him and James doing push-ups (and that Kaidan wins even without Kasumi sitting on James’ back).

I love his “You’re the boss. Except when you’re not. And in that case … find me later”.

I love the wake up-scene after the party.

I love the once over with that predatory smirk he gives a male Shepard in the romance scene.

I love that he wants to be Shepard’s rock and soft place to land.

I love the look on his face when Shepard runs their fingers along his cheekbone and then down to his chest before gently placing them on his chin and giving him a kiss after waking from their nightmare.

I love his “Yeah, that’s not gonna happen” after getting injured during the run for the beam. (Stubborn, remember?)

I love his “I love you, too. Be careful.” (Just rip out my heart and stomp on it why don’t you?)

I love his “And I’m not leaving, either!” at the beginning of ME2. (*cough*stubborn*cough*) 

I love his integrity.

I love his friendship with Ash.

I love seeing him and Shepard remembering Ash’s sacrifice after disarming the bomb on Tuchanka.

I love his “Why can’t it be both? Ow, my heart!” before entering the casino and his disappointed “And here I had this good cop routine all planned” after finding Elijah Khan.

I love his apology for tripping at the Ardat-Yakshi monastery.

I love his shoulders. Seriously. They do things to me.

[the-way-astray]

thinking about the fact that in a handful of years, people will be able to read the entire kotlc series from start to finish without having to wait years before the next book comes out

[valend]

Did you guys know Hamilton also didn’t grow any body hair and never got a period! ​yeah I think it’s called Alexandria’s genesis or something I’m not sure

[ohyoufool]

is this something: the team playing themselves in a TV show about Check Please

[simplenefelibata]

Dean and Cas' chat after November 2020.

sucks that you're dead

Monday 3:45 a.m

did you know there's a gay cowboy movie? i think you'd like it

not because you're gay

well probably cause you're gay

Monday 12:02 p.m.

are u even gay? can angels be gay?

Monday 19:15

i pray to you every night. i have this stupid idea that maybe you can hear me

Wednesday 21:34

found a photo of jack on my cell. reminds me of you

Thursday 07:50 a.m.

are u ever coming back?

Thursday 23:23

eileen gave me a cigarette today and asked if you ever tried one. you would've told me, right? we told each other everything

Friday 15:45

sometimes i call you just to listen to your voicemail. how fucked up is that huh

im afraid there'll come a day when i won't remember what it sounds like

it scares me even more to think that i'll never actually be able to forget it

like it'll always be the thing i hear when i

Saturday 04:56 a.m.

the sky is damn blue today cause of the storm

it made me think of you

Saturday 1:08 p.m.

yknow whst fuck you

ypu had no right to do this to me. of all thw fucked up things you've done to me, this is the worst

Sunday 06:28 a.m.

[incoherentsobbing]

A. Thing. 🧍🏾

CW: Unhealthy relationship dynamics, implied drugging (a potion of some sorts), light mentions of death, Yan! reader x (character of your choice), l'm pretty sure I had someone in mind when I first wrote this, but it's been months and I have No Clue, lowkey disturbing. reader is manipulating mansplaining manwhoring this

Tell me if I miss anything :P

Heavy breathing.

The deafening sound of skin brushing against skin.

The shrill laughter coming from them made butterflies flare up in such a beautiful way in you.

"Haha! (redacted)!" They'd gleefully chuckle as you'd both roll around in the pillow fort you made together, tears forming in the corner of their eyes.

And you'd laugh right back, engulfing them in a loving hug they'd surely return.

They just loved you so, so much.

And you loved them too.

Enough to put them under a spell.

Enough to make sure all they thought about was you, you, you.

Because they loved you so much.

And you loved them too.

They'd cry and cry, but how could they be sad? When all they could feel was the tight pull on their heart when they saw you? When they heard your voice? When they tried to resist the spell you put them under?

Those were just tears of joy. What more could they be?

Their dead eyes meant nothing, so long as they gazed at you, and you alone.

They didn't mind when the people they were once close to vanished. One after the other

How could they?

They were too preoccupied with wedding plans to even think about their companions dropping like flies around them.

You'd speak, and they'd listen. Obey. Without question.

All because they loved you

And you loved them too.

[screampied]

i have a tojikuna idea where they’re best friend criminals and we’re a detective omg 🕵️‍♀️

[boba-beom]

this is the first halloween where I’m not going out 🥹 I hope y’all can take me as your boo instead though

[that-was-anticlimactic]

babygirl your hands are like compression gloves. to me.

[tvckerwash]

man, I've always thought that wash was the most 'master chief-y' character in rvb—with carolina also having a lot of the same qualities based solely off of what I knew about him from the games—but now that I’ve read the fall of reach, I can say with 100% certainty that they both take after john.

(utc bc it's another long post lol)

carolina takes very heavily after master chief’s competitive side, and teamwork was not a skill that came to him naturally. there’s a scene very early in the book right after john and the rest of the kids were first conscripted into the spartan program where everyone is split into teams, and they’re told to complete an obstacle course and compete to be the first ones to ring a bell at the end of it. the last team to ring the bell wouldn’t be getting dinner (and for context, these are a bunch of 6 year olds who spent the last however many hours being forced into the same grueling physical activities grown adults are on their first day in boot camp).

john, who was absolutely starving, abandoned his teammates because he believed they were just going to slow him down, and he was right—he was the first to ring the bell, but his teammates were the last two to do so. but, john was punished for doing that, and he didn’t get to have dinner alongside the teammates he left behind (and he was so hungry he even secretly stole some of the food from a girl he was sitting next to while she wasn’t looking).

this experience deeply impacted john, he corrected his mistake the next day, and in a future training exercise done years later, him and his fellow spartans were dropped off in the middle of the mountains and told to compete to get the extraction point, and the last person there was going to be left behind and would have to walk back to the base. I think I’ll let john tell you his thoughts on that himself:

“One more thing,” Mendez said. “The last trainee to make it to the extraction point will be left behind.” He glanced out a window. “And it’s a very long walk back.” John didn’t like it. He wasn’t going to lose, but he didn’t want anyone else to lose, either. The thought of Kelly or Sam or any of the others marching all the way back made him uneasy…if they could make it all the way back alone over those mountains. 

+

They stopped at noon to stretch and eat berries they had gathered along the trail. Fhajad spoke up. “I want to know one thing,” he said. He paused to wipe the sweat off his dark skin. “We’re going to get to the extraction point at the same time. So who’s getting left behind? We should decide now.” “Draw straws,” someone suggested.  “No,” John said, and stood. “No one’s being left behind. We’re going to figure a way to get all of us out.”  “How?” Kelly asked, scratching her head. “Mendez said—” “I know what he said. But there’s got to be a way—I just haven’t thought of one yet. Even if it has to be me that stays behind—I’ll make sure everyone gets back to the base.” John started marching again. “Come on, we’re wasting time.” 

Carolina is portrayed very, very similarly to the way john is above through most of s9, and it’s only when her obsession with beating tex starts to take a priority that she becomes more like john was as a child. In s10 her characterization becomes more juvenile, and that’s where she truly reverts to the 6 year old john who will abandon his teammates because being first takes priority in her mind. 

Another blurb of text that I find very applicable to Carolina as a character is this:

“Irritated, sir?” John asked, genuinely puzzled. He would have thought the UNSC top brass would be elated by the victory, despite its cost. “But we won.” Captain Keyes took a step back and cocked a quizzical eyebrow. “Didn’t Dr. Halsey ever teach you that winning isn’t everything, Master Chief?” He saluted. “You’ll excuse me.” John saluted. He was so confused by Captain Keyes’ statement that he kept saluting as the Captain walked out of the room. Winning was everything. How could someone with Captain Keyes’ reputation think otherwise? The Master Chief tried to recall if he had ever read anything like that in any military history or philosophy texts. What else was there other than winning? The only other obvious choice was losing…and he had long been taught that defeat was an unacceptable alternative. Certainly, Captain Keyes didn’t mean that they should have lost at Sigma Octanus? Unthinkable. He stood silently for ten minutes mulling this over.

wash on the other hand seems to take queues from various other aspects of master chief’s character shown throughout the book. If I had to sum up these bits and bobs I’d say he takes inspiration from john’s more serious and practical side, or rather, the side of john that is ‘less human’.

I’ve talked about how I’m not a big fan of wash and locus being foils on chorus because miles picked the wrong aspects of what it means to be a soldier to focus on when it comes to wash, but beyond that I do actually see wash as the more soldier like character between him and carolina. 

wash is a character who has a very strong sense of duty, and he takes whatever he believes his duty is very seriously. wash is hyperaware of his position, and while he can—and does—read between the lines, he prefers to keep things simple and straightforward. he’s not a scientist, he’s not a psychologist, he’s a soldier—just hand him a gun and tell him where to shoot. these two blurbs sum wash up very nicely:

John only knew three ways to react to people. If they were his superior officers, he obeyed them. If they were part of his squad, he helped them. If they were a threat, he neutralized them.

+

“You engaged and neutralized a threat,” Mendez replied. “That action seems to have answered your question, Squad Leader.”  John wrinkled his forehead as he thought it through. “I followed the chain of command,” he said. “The Sergeant told me to fight. I was threatened and in imminent danger. But they were still UNSC Special Forces. Fellow soldiers.” Mendez lowered his voice. “Not every mission has simple objectives or comes to a logical conclusion. Your priorities are to follow the orders in your chain of command, and then to preserve your life and the lives of your team. Is that clear?” “Sir,” John said. “Yes, sir.” He glanced back at the ring. Blood was seeping into the canvas mat. John had an odd feeling in the pit of his stomach. He hit the showers and let the blood rinse off him. He felt strangely sorry for the men he had killed. But he knew his duty—the Chief had even been unusually verbose in order to clarify the matter. Follow orders and keep himself and his team safe. That’s all he had to focus on. John didn’t give the incident in the gym another thought.

another scene that I want to share is this one, as upon reading it I immediately imagined that wash’s meeting with internals in s9 probably went very similarly: 

Finally one of the officers deigned to notice the Master Chief. “At ease, soldier,” he said. The Master Chief let his arm fall. “Spartan 117, reporting as ordered, sirs.”  There was a pause, then the woman’s voice spoke up, “We would like to congratulate you on your successful mission, Master Chief. You’ve certainly given us plenty to consider. We would like to pin down a few details of your mission.” There was something in her voice that made John nervous. Not scared. But it was the same feeling he had going into combat. The same feeling he got when bullets started flying. “You do know, Master Chief,” the first male voice said, “that not answering truthfully—or omitting any relevant details will lead to a court-martial?” John bristled. As if he could ever forget his duty. “I will answer to the best of my abilities, sir,” he replied stiffly. 

anyway, another blurb I want to bring up is this one involving dr. halsey speaking to cortana about john, and I feel how it relates to wash is self-explanatory. It’s really only the very last paragraph that’s important, but I’m including the whole scene because imagining a similar conversation between the director and alpha is SO funny to me (insert the gay robot joke lmao).

Cortana leaped to her “feet,” turned her back to Dr. Halsey, and examined the photographs on the wall. She brushed her fingertips over the glass surfaces. “Which one will be mine?” “Which one do you want?” She immediately gravitated to the picture in the center of Dr. Halsey’s collection. It showed a handsome man standing at attention as Admiral Stanforth pinned the UNSC Legion of Honor upon his chest—a chest that already overflowed with citations. Cortana framed her fingers around the man’s face. “He’s so serious,” she murmured. “Thoughtful eyes, though. Attractive in a primitive animal sort of way, don’t you think, Doctor?” Dr. Halsey blushed. Apparently, she did think so. Cortana’s thoughts mirrored many of her own, only unchecked by normal military and social protocol. “Perhaps it would be best if you picked another—” Cortana turned to face Dr. Halsey and cocked an eyebrow, mock stern. “You asked me which one I wanted…” “It was a question, Cortana. I did not give you carte blanche to select your ‘carrier.’ There are compatibility issues to consider.” Cortana blinked. “His neural patterns are in sync with my mine within two percent. With the new interface we’ll be installing, that should fall well within tolerable limits. In fact—” Her gaze drifted and the symbols along her body brightened and flashed. “—I have just developed a custom interface buffer that will match us within zero point zero eight one percent. You won’t find a better match among the others. “In fact,” she added coyly, “I can guarantee it.” “I see,” Dr. Halsey said. She pushed away from her desk, stood, and paced. Why was she hesitating? The match was superb. But was Cortana’s predilection for Spartan 117 a result of him being Dr. Halsey’s favorite? And did it matter? Who better to protect him? Dr. Halsey walked over to the picture. “He was awarded this Legion of Honor medallion because he dove into a bunker of Covenant soldiers. He took out twenty by himself and saved a platoon of Marines who were pinned down by a stationary energy weapon emplacement. I’ve read the report, but I’m still not sure how he managed to do it.”  She turned to Cortana and stared into her odd translucent eyes. “You’ve read his CSV?” “I’m reading it again right now.” “Then you know he is neither the smartest nor the fastest nor the strongest of the Spartans. But he is the bravest—and quite possibly the luckiest. And in my opinion, he is the best.”

I’m pretty sure there's actually a joke somewhere in the show where wash says he’s only the third favorite behind tex and carolina, but considering they’re literally the director's wife and daughter I think being third is still worth something here lol.

but all of that aside, I want to end this post with one last blurb because of how it relates to both carolina and wash, and why I think it’s so important that they’re the two freelancers who survived to the end, and how they both take after master chief.

If Dr. Halsey had a mission for him and his team, it would be a good one. She had given him everything: duty, honor, purpose, and a destiny to protect humanity. John hoped she would give him one more thing: a way to win the war.