#Okay that sounds weird I’m not saying it like that
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Growing Us
Summary : Old Logan takes care of his pregnant wife. Note : fluff
Logan’s POV
Her breathing was slow, steady, but I could tell she wasn’t asleep. I watched her from the doorway for a second, leaning against the frame, arms crossed. She was lying on her side, one hand resting on her growing belly, the other tucked under her pillow. My wife, strong as steel, but pregnancy was taking its toll on her.
I walked over, careful not to wake her if she had finally drifted off. As I got closer, she shifted, her eyes fluttering open and catching mine.
“Hey,” she whispered, a small smile tugging at her lips. She tried to sit up, but I quickly stepped forward, my hand resting on her shoulder.
“Easy, darlin’. You don’t need to move.”
She chuckled, but it was tired. “I’m fine, Logan.”
“Yeah, that’s what you said yesterday,” I muttered, sitting down beside her on the bed. “And the day before that. Doesn’t mean you don’t need to rest.”
She rolled her eyes, but I could see how exhausted she was. I’d never been one for all the baby talk or fussing over things, but seeing her like this—tired, carrying our kid—something inside me changed. Maybe it was that protective instinct or just the fact that she looked so damn beautiful, even when she was worn out.
“You’re hovering,” she teased, her hand reaching for mine.
I grunted, but my fingers wrapped around hers. “Not hovering. Just… watching over you.”
“Mmm,” she hummed, squeezing my hand. “I like when you’re like this. All soft.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Soft? Darlin’, I ain’t soft.”
She laughed again, and the sound was like music to my ears. It had been a rough few weeks for her—morning sickness that didn’t just stick to mornings, swollen feet, and a back that was giving her hell. I’d give anything to make it easier, but all I could do was be here. So, that’s what I did.
“You hungry?” I asked, brushing some of her hair behind her ear. “I could make you something. Or try, anyway.”
Her face softened, but she shook her head. “I’m okay, Logan. Just tired.”
Tired was an understatement. Her eyes were heavy, but she was fighting it. Always trying to be strong, even when she didn’t have to be.
“Then rest,” I said, my voice gruff but gentle. “I got everything covered. You don’t need to do anything.”
Her hand drifted back to her belly, and I couldn’t help but follow it with my eyes. It still blew my mind that we were doing this—starting a family. It wasn’t something I thought I’d ever have, not with the life I’d lived. But here we were, her body growing the next part of us, and I couldn’t imagine anything more important.
“Feel the baby,” she whispered suddenly, her eyes lighting up.
I blinked, then reached out cautiously, my rough hand gently resting over hers on her belly. A moment passed, then I felt it—a small, faint kick.
My heart did something weird, tightening and swelling at the same time. I’d fought wars, survived hell, but this? This was something else.
“She’s strong,” I murmured, my hand lingering there.
“She is,” she whispered, her voice soft and full of warmth. “Just like her dad.”
I shook my head. “Nah. She gets that from you.”
We sat there for a while, neither of us saying much. I didn’t need words. This—just being here, feeling that life we’d created, seeing her in front of me—it was enough.
“Get some sleep,” I said after a while, leaning down to kiss her forehead. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“I know,” she whispered, her hand still on mine.
Her eyes drifted closed, and I stayed where I was, watching over her like I always would.
#hugh jackman#james howlett#logan howlett#james logan howlett#james logan howlett x reader#deadpool and wolverine#logan wolverine#wolverine#hugh jackman wolverine#logan howlett fanfiction#logan howlett x female reader#logan x reader#logan xmen#logan smut#logan 2017#logan#logan howlett imagine#logan howlett headcanon#logan howlett smut#logan howlett x reader smut#logan howlett x reader#noncon logan howlett#logan howlett x you#old man logan#old man logan x reader#logan howlet smut#logan howlet x reader#the wolverine#wolverine fanfiction#wolverine headcanons
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can you do submissive reader x vi
oh my god vi who just loves how submissive you are for her…nsfw.
it was the little things that tipped her off about the other side of you she’d yet to on see.
your relationship was new, only a few weeks since she’d asked you to officially become her girlfriend. the two of you still hadn’t had sex, only a few intense make outs that were promptly stopped when she notice your tense posture. she made sure you knew that she’d never push you to do anything you didn’t want to do.
but she had to admit that while being respectful she noticed things that made her eager to nudge you a bit. you were always a strong willed person who gave her a run for her money when it came to being stubborn, but behind closed doors she notice just how obedient you could be.
a lazy murmur of asking for a drink the next time you grabbed one was met with her hand filled with a glass of water before she could blink. a casual reminder not to forget your jacket in the morning and wrapping the fabric around your shoulders leads to a far off look in your eyes that she just can’t ignore.
your first time together she’s oh so sweet and gentle, asking repeatedly if you’re sure you want to go through with it while she’s leaving trails of kisses up and down your body. but she can see how your anxiety deflates, how pliant your body becomes as she moves and guides different parts of you to her will.
and then with a desperate voice you beg her, give her the permission to do whatever she wants with you, that you’re literally aching for it. and how could she say no to that?
she’s on cloud nine and she’s dragging you up with her as she manipulates your body using her hands and words. a simple command to take off your clothes and lay down for her has you laid out on the bed willing and waiting for her.
you follow her instructions so smoothly it almost seems like you were made to do it, made specially to be obedient to her. a weird thrill goes down her spine at the thought and the same happens to you when she voices it, giving you endless praise about how well you follow her instructions.
“cmon, do one more for me, okay?”
her eyes nearly roll back into her skull at the sound of your whine mixed with the sound of her fingers thrusting into your cunt, the squelching and sloshing after multiple orgasms she’s ripped out of you sending her brain into a frenzy.
“v-vi, please, violet, wan’ it, need you-“
she pushes her lips into yours to capture more of your moans while she groans into your mouth and speeds up her fingers, putting her all into giving you yet another orgasm. she feels your legs twitching against hers, your hands grasping and shaking against her back. right when she feels you about to trip over she pulls back and looks into your eyes to burn the look of you into her brain.
“cum for me, cum for me right now pretty girl,”
she barely finishes her sentence when your clamping down on her and moaning like she’s tearing your soul from your body. she has to muffle her own sounds against your neck when she realizes you’re squirting against her hand and soaking the bed underneath.
once you both catch your breaths she finally loves her body from slouching into yours to flopping onto the bed next to you. you gently kick her when she sticks the fingers that were inside you into her mouth with a comical groan, laughing as you fake being upset at her crudeness.
“gods, you’re such a pervert.”
“says the one whose shown me how obedient she is. you think if i ask to go again you’ll let me?”
“…for my own sanity i’m not going to answer that.”
vi chuckles. she can’t wait to see just how pliant for her she can make you.
#god only a few more hours i’m going nuts#incredibly comedic timing that this got sent in when i was watching secretary for the first time#arcane#arcane x reader#arcane smut#vi#vi arcane#vi x reader#vi x reader smut
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Hellooooo
Mae, could you maybe (absolutely no pressure or anything!!!) write something with Vampire!james x reader when he once again feeds from her and actually takes too much or so? Not like so much that it’s really bad or so but like too much, you know?
I haven’t thought about it a lot so I’m sorry that it’s so incomplete. The rest is yours to decide (as always)
(Sorry that my request is so messy, it’s the middle of the night for me)
Wasn't messy at all gorgeous! Thanks for requesting <3
cw: blood, lightheadedness/near fainting
vampire!James x fem!reader ♡ 682 words
You don’t notice it happening. You suppose that’s probably by design—vampires are supposed to drain their victims, after all, and that biology doesn’t account for your gentle boyfriend and his willing bloodbag. You’re not cognizant of any change between when your mind feels pleasantly fuzzy and when it starts to slip away from you altogether, dark spots blotting your vision and your bones losing their solidity. James notices, though, when you turn to mush in his hands.
“Shit.” His voice is garbled by fang and slurred by gluttony, his arms encircling you to better prop you up. You feel a warm droplet of blood trudge down your front as he takes his mouth from you in a hurry. James swears again, wetting the wound to close it. “Shit, sweetheart, I’m sorry. Are you okay? Can you hear me?”
You make some somnolent sound of reassurance, but it doesn’t seem to do its job well. James is panicky and upset, trying to calm himself enough to figure out what to do with you.
“Okay.” He kisses your face, eyes watery. “I’m sorry. You’re okay. Let’s lay down, yeah? Come here.”
You’re not really up for following instructions, but James does the work himself, laying you sideways on the couch and propping your head on a pillow.
“Stay awake, angel.” He lifts your legs some, holding your ankles in one hand while the other strokes up and down your leg soothingly. “Can you do that for me?”
You hum. You’re feeling better already. It’s not like usual, where the fuzzy feeling starts to fade as soon as James takes his lips from you, but you’re beginning to feel more solid. “James, m’okay.”
“I’m so sorry,” he says, voice hoarse with emotion. “How do you feel? Do you want some water?”
“I feel better.” You take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. “Just a little…a little weird. Hey. Jamie.” You cover his hand on your leg with yours. Your boyfriend’s expression looks tormented, his eyes glassy with self-loathing. “It’s okay, lovely. I’m fine, I just need a minute.”
“I can’t believe I didn’t stop,” he admits in a near whisper.
“I should have let you know.”
“How were you supposed to? I was drinking you dry.” His voice thins. James closes his eyes, agonized. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart. That was dangerous. I could’ve killed you.”
“You wouldn’t have,” you tell him gently.
“I could have, I—”
“James.” You sit up on your elbows. Your boyfriend’s brows bunch concernedly, but your head feels fine. Maybe your protectiveness of James is just more substantial than anything else in you. “You wouldn’t have, baby. Really. I know you’re worried you’re going to lose control or something, but that’s not what happened. We just both let it go a little too far. And when you realized what was happening, you stopped without even thinking about it.” You make your voice firm. “This was just a fluke. It was bound to happen at some point, but you’d never really hurt me. And everything turned out fine, right? Didn’t it?”
James breathes out. “I don’t know,” he says uncertainly. “Are you fine?”
“Yeah. I’m fine.” You give him a smile, reaching out your arms.
James hugs you but doesn’t meet you halfway. He presses you back into the couch instead, his arms wound tight around your middle and stubble scritching against your cheek.
“You promise you’re okay?” He turns his head to kiss your ear. “Be honest.”
You rub his back. “I promise. I just needed a minute. It’s normal, you know?”
James sighs, his body sinking into yours. “Nothing about this is normal.”
“I guess. But I was talking about, like, blood donation. This happens all the time in those cases.” You lie there for a minute, you soothing your palms over his back and him with his arms wrapped around you. “I feel fine to sit up now, by the way.”
“No way.” James kisses the shell of your ear again. “You scared the shit out of me, baby. I’m never letting you up off this couch again.”
#vampire!james potter#james potter au#james potter#james potter x reader#james potter x fem!reader#james potter x y/n#james potter x you#james potter x self insert#james potter fanfiction#james potter fanfic#james potter fic#james potter hurt/comfort#james potter imagine#james potter scenario#james potter blurb#james potter drabble#james potter oneshot#james potter one shot#marauders#marauders fanfiction#marauders fandom#the marauders#hp marauders#marauders x reader
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I don’t need your help… *✧・゚: *✧・゚:════ ⋆★⋆ ════*✧・゚: *✧・゚:
IN HONOR OF ARCANE SEASON TWO, IM POSTING A FIC THATS BEEN IN MY NOTES APP FOR MONTHS
(this is very old, cut me some slack)
WARNINGS: I WILL BLOCK MINORS, THIS IS 18+. MDNI. Nsfw, some angst, gf!Vi, fingering r!receiving, head r!receiving. Let me know if I missed anything.
men dni ✌️
ESL, and also not proofread ✍️
*✧・゚: *✧・゚:════ ⋆★⋆ ════*✧・゚: *✧・゚:
You stared at the wall, sighing. You’d been like this for hours. Where was she? Did she leave you? Was she out drunk again? Every single possibility raced through your head. The door opened suddenly, startling you. Your head popped up quickly, eyes widening as you saw Vi. “Vi? What happened? Who hurt you—“ you started, worried. She sighed. “Nothing. Just a squabble at the bar. Quit worrying.. it’s annoying.” Vi said, her tone fed up and tired. You sat back down, waiting anxiously for her to do something about the cut on her stomach.
Vi sat down on the couch, not next to you, but the furthest away from you she could possibly be. She did this a lot. She hated showing you how she felt… “Are you not gonna treat that?” You ask quietly. She side eyed you. “No.” She said simply. She was in pain. You could see it, even if she wouldn’t tell you. You got up, sighing. “What are you doing?” Vi said with a frown on her face. You ignored her, grabbing a towel you wet with soap and water. You got on your knees, dabbing it against the wounds she’d accumulated on her stomach and thigh. “I don’t need your help…” Vi mumbled, wincing. “I don’t care.” You mumbled.
Vi looked down at you, a slight flush on her face from seeing you on your knees like that. “Just— hurry up..” Vi says quickly. Your brain pauses for a second. “Why?” You look up at her. She avoided your eyes, the flush in her cheeks becoming more evident. You cracked a smile. “Not everything has to be sexual, Vi.” You say, trying to sound stern. It probably didn’t help that you had to pull her pants off to clean the cut on her thigh. “I- I didn’t say— just- shut up.” Vi protested, sounding more cute than menacing. Now it was your turn to be a mean. Since she was out of her bad mood, maybe you could be a bit flirty. “I mean, I’m not complaining, just saying.” You grinned, putting the soapy rag right over the wound on her thigh, letting your hand wonder a bit. “What are you trying to do?” Vi said, her heart beating quickly. “What? I’m not doing anything.” You say, moving your hand to her inner thigh.
This felt pretty weird. Usually Vi initiated these things, and on you. “Y/n.” Vi said sternly. Okay. Maybe you were being too risky. “Finish whatever your doing, and hurry.” She said, frowning. A small tinge of excitement washed over you, knowing exactly what she was gonna do next.
You finished cleaning her up, and of course, now you were pinned against the wall while she kissed you roughly. You broke the kiss, panting. “No need to suffocate me..” you breath. “I’m not. Kissing and choking are two very different things.” Vi said flatly, a hint of amusement shining in her cold eyes. “I- shut up.” You smile. Vi rolled her eyes, kissing your neck. “Nope.” She replied, giving you a few love bites she was sure would be a nice, red blotch in a few minutes. You let out a soft hum of approval, feeling your breath hitch as Vi removed your clothes. Vi looked in your eyes again, asking for approval silently. You nodded, gulping.
In a split second, you were pushed against the couch, your legs spread. Vi slowly took your panties off, looking you in the eyes while doing so. “Beg.” She grinned. “..I— please, Vi..” you pant. Vi raises a brow. “Please, Vi, I need you..” you say, your voice more whiny. “That’s more like it.” And without another word, Vi slowly pushed her fingers into your dripping core. “F-fuck!” you gasp. “G-give a girl a warning-“ you say, a few moans bubbling from your mouth as vi curls her fingers. “I gave you plenty.” Vi shrugged, burying her face between your thighs. “Warning.” She mumbled, licking your clit softly, her free hand cupping your ass.
“Mm-.. vi—“ you whine. Vi swirled her tongue around your clit while her fingers curled and pumped inside of you. “M-mm— too much!..” you whimper. Vi continues her ministrations, defermened not to stop till you cum. Your hips shy away from her, but she holds them in place with her free hand. “Hngh— fuck- Vi, I’m close.!” You pant, your thighs shaking. Vi grins, speeding up. Her tongue flattens against your clit, pumping her fingers faster. “Ah-!” You moan. “Vi- I’m- I’m gonna—“ you can barley finish your sentence before you cum. Vi licked her lips, looking you in the eyes as you panted.
“Did I do well?” She smirked. She already knew the answer.
“Shut up.” You reply, blushing as you looked away.
*✧・゚: *✧・゚:════ ⋆★⋆ ════*✧・゚: *✧・゚:
I NEED IDEAS, GIVE ME REQUESTS 😣
#arcane masterlist#arcane#vi x reader#wlw#lesbian#smut#arcane smut#vi smut#vi x reader smut#i heart arcane#arcane s2
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Whumptober Day 28 - No-holds-barred beatdown, exposure, used as bait
CONTINUATION TO DAY 13 go read that one if you haven’t (or if you need a refresher it’s been so long lol)
Hi I'm still kicking <3 only three left after this, I WILL be finishing these, NO MATTER WHAT RAAAAAH. my goal is to be done before the 15th but we'll see how that goes. I'm going to try 😓
The prompts used aren’t the best, but they were the only ones that even vaguely fit lol. The third one doesn’t even come into effect until the very end. Also this was only going to be one more part. but. they kept talking.
Warnings: violence, injury, a handful of previous warnings from day 13
Day 13
ao3 link
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Sky and Warriors woke up at the same time.
Twilight stirred from his spot on the ground, having let his mind wander as he’d waited. His body still ached a bit, and it wasn't helped by his stint on the cold floor, but he sat up anyway as Warriors’ eyelids fluttered, and a squeaky moan came from Time’s back, Sky’s tail flicking. Twilight looked between the two, then went to Sky first, since strangely enough it seemed like he was waking up faster.
Legend sat next to Warriors, saying something to him as he woke, and Time watched the two with slightly narrowed eyes. He looked at Twilight as he walked up, flicking an ear as Warriors let out a disbelieving noise and Legend squawked angrily.
“Here,” Time said, carefully leaning over and sliding Sky off his back. “I’m going to go make sure Legend doesn’t bite him. And that the captain doesn’t stomp our veteran by accident. Or on purpose.”
Twilight nodded, and sat down next to Sky as his blue eyes flickered open.
“Easy Sky,” Twilight woofed as he moved a little, and Sky twitched his nose.
“Ow...” he groaned, and Twilight gave his ear a gentle lick. “...Oh, hey rancher... why’re you so big?” he asked blearily, squinting as he tried to sit up. His paws slipped out from under him though, and Sky stared at them in bewilderment, the expression honestly adorable on his furry face. He wiggled a few toes, and stared at the fur and claws, blinking in shock.
“Rancher?” Sky repeated in more of an alarmed voice. “What’s going on?”
“Short version? We all got turned into animals,” Twilight admitted, giving Sky a little push with his snout in order to help him sit up when he tried again. “We fell down here and all transformed somehow. You’re one of those cat things on your island, a... was it a remake?”
“A remlit,” Sky corrected, sounding a little calmer, but still disturbed. He studied his paws, and tilted his head back, trying to look at his ears and tail. “Huh. Just like Legend that one time. Those... women did this to us?”
“Yep, the creepy voice ones. Or something down here did, we’re not exactly sure. But it’s their fault somehow,” Twilight confirmed, and watched intently as Sky shakily stood up, paws trembling. “You feeling okay?”
“Yeah, I’m— yeah. This is just... weird,” he admitted. “I... this was dark magic, wasn’t it?”
“We think so, yeah.”
Sky frowned and looked around the dark cave, large ears swiveling, and both he and Twilight jumped as they heard a distressed whinny. Twilight whirled around, and saw Warriors attempting to get to his hooves, his legs wobbling underneath him.
“Easy Captain, don’t move too quickly,” Time warned, and Warriors snorted, tossing his head.
“Don’t ‘easy’ me, I’m not staying like this a moment longer than I have to!” Warriors said, nearly falling over. “Horses are fine, I like horses, but I don’t want to be one!”
“Actually you’re a unicorn,” Legend said helpfully, and Warriors huffed angrily as Time moved to his side, helping to steady him.
“Right. I’m a horse with a big pointy stick on my head. Wonderful.”
“At least you can stab things,” Legend continued, nose twitching in amusement. “You didn’t have a weapon before, and now you do. Besides, I think the horn really compliments your flowing locks.”
“I could almost say the same,” Warriors snorted. “Flowing locks indeed. Finally the mystery of the pink hair is solved. I wouldn’t have guessed a bunny rabbit would be the cause but you—”
“Now see here—”
“All right, that’s enough,” Time said with a sharp look at the both of them. “Captain, are you feeling all right? We all saw how rough that transformation was.”
“I’m fine,” Warriors mumbled, pawing at the floor.
Twilight glanced back at Sky, who was sniffing at the scratches on his side with a wince on his face. He’d managed to stand by himself though, and so Twilight moved over to Warriors, the captain’s legs still wobbling.
“Relax Captain, we’re going to fix this,” Twilight reassured, and Warriors made another annoyed sound, his tail swishing.
“So long as we don’t need opposable thumbs,” he said. Twilight sighed.
“We’ll manage, Captain. I know this isn’t ideal, but we’ll figure it out.”
“Easy for you to say, you’re used to having four legs,” Warriors said in a sharp voice, and Twilight flattened his ears in annoyance.
“I’m stuck like this too, Captain. Just because I’m more used to four legs doesn’t mean I don’t want my regular ones back,” Twilight snapped, his worry and fear at the whole situation abruptly bursting out. “Now if you’re done arguing with Legend we still don’t know where half our group is, so if you’re able to walk without falling over let’s get going.”
Warriors blinked, obviously taken aback, and Twilight turned away from Time’s frown and stuck his nose up in the air to sniff for any more familiar scents.
The faintest hint of one that wasn’t rock or cave smell wafted by his nose, and Twilight turned in a slow circle, trying to pinpoint it. He caught a bigger whiff, and gestured with his head.
“I think I found someone else,” he said, and Time hummed in a growly way.
“Are you guys ready to move?” Legend asked, looking askance at both Sky and Warriors. Sky hesitated, his legs still wobbly, but when he walked around in a small circle he was able to keep his footing. Warriors gave a curt nod, his legs looking steadier, and he didn’t look over at Twilight.
Twilight felt a little sting of shame, but he swallowed it back. He could apologize later.
“This way,” he said, turning into the darkness, and the others followed along behind him, Warriors’ hooves clicking against the stone floor.
They kept the pace slow, in respect for both small and unsteady legs. Twilight felt impatience simmer under his fur, but he knew he couldn’t just run ahead. He was currently one of their few lines of defense, and who knew how many monsters might be around down here?
Sky and Legend walked together beside him, Sky asking questions about being an animal, Legend answering as well as he could. Warriors was obviously listening in as well, and Twilight even noticed Time’s ear swivel back when Legend started in on ways he dealt with fights.
Twilight... probably ought to be giving tips as well, he certainly had plenty of knowledge to draw on. But he was intent on following the scent, keeping a nose out for any others, watching for monsters, and also looking for a way out. Legend could handle the crash course in being an animal.
What a disaster.
Twilight sighed and kept sniffling, trying to identify exactly who’s scent it was he was following. He stepped past a couple large rocks that glowed faintly green, and as the scent grew steadily stronger, Twilight suddenly paused, his stomach sinking. Even with the strange overtone to it, he suddenly knew exactly who’s scent he was following.
He bolted, leaving the others behind, knowing the source of the scent was close. Twilight turned a corner, intently sniffing, and sure enough a few moments later his paw bumped into a small, grey-blue creature.
Twilight froze, and lowered himself to the floor, almost not believing what he was seeing.
“Oh boy... champion?” he asked, nuzzling gently at him. Wild don’t move, unconscious, and Twilight gave his head a small lick. “Hey, wake up for me?”
A chirrupy groan came from Wild’s still form, and his eyelids flickered, blues resting hazily on Twilight’s face.
“Mm... Twi?” he mumbled, ears twitching. “Where... ow... why does my whole body hurt?”
Twilight winced. “Well, it ah... might have to do with the fact that you’re a squirrel.”
Wild blinked slowly, his gaze still bleary. He flicked his ears again, twitched his tail once, then jerked to his feet with a completely flabbergasted expression.
“A WHAT?!” he yelped right as the others all rounded the corner and caught sight of him. Legend took one look at Wild’s bushy tail before his face cracked into a huge grin.
“Champion you’re— you’re a squirrel!” Legend spluttered, then burst into uproarious laughter, looking at Wild with pure glee on his face. “That’s the best thing I’ve seen all day!”
“IT’S NOT FUNNY!” Wild screeched, his fluffy tail sticking straight up. He looked a solid mixture of offended and freaked out. “WHAT’S FUNNY ABOUT TURNING INTO A SQUIRREL?!”
“It’s hilarious, actually,” Legend cackled, wheezing as he fell backwards, nearly tripping Sky. “A squirrel! No wonder you’re such a hoarder!”
Legend burst into another peal of laughter, and Wild stumbled backwards, every bit of him tense. Twilight moved towards him, and Wild let out a panicked little chirp.
“Wild, it’s okay,” Sky said, and Wild twitched his nose as Twilight gently nuzzled his head. He could hear Wild’s tiny heart beating like a drum.
“Are you hurt at all?” Time asked, and Wild shook his head, his tail lowering a little.
“No, I’m fine. I just... no. Don’t like this.”
Wild swiped a paw over his face as his nose twitched again, and Twilight very firmly held back the urge to laugh. Now was not the time, even if Wild being a squirrel was admittedly... rather hilarious. At least on par with Legend being a rabbit.
Maybe Farore has a sense of humor.
“Hey, you’ve just gotta adjust,” Legend said as he gave himself a shake, finally getting ahold of himself. “Just think how it could be worse. You could be a bug or something.”
“But I’m a squirrel!” Wild chittered frantically, his tail whirling all over the place. “I’m tiny! I’m defenseless! I can’t even hold a weapon like this!”
“Wow. What a hardship,” Legend said in a deadpan. “Being a small mostly-defenseless woodland creature.”
Wild opened his mouth to retort, then slowly closed it again, staring at Legend like he hadn’t truly looked at him until now.
“Oh. Uh... you’re... a pink blupee thing?”
“A rabbit. We all got transformed, Wild, calm down. I’m sure we'll be able to fix it,” Twilight reassured, and Wild groaned, pulling his tail over his face.
“I hate this. No thank you. Nope.”
“Join the club,” Warriors sighed, and Twilight sat down beside the little ball that was currently Wild, giving him another lick. Wild uncurled a little, looking at Twilight with thinly-hidden panic in his eyes, and Twilight’s chest tightened. Wild rarely looked so rattled.
“You’re sure you’re not hurt?” he asked quietly, and Wild nodded.
“Just sore,” he said quietly. “That transformation was awful. Is... everyone else okay?”
“We don’t know. We haven’t found everyone yet,” Twilight explained with a sigh. “No sign of Hyrule, Wind, or Four.”
“But I’m sure we’ll find them,” Sky said hopefully, his large ears spread wide. “If nothing else I’ll be able to hear them with these big old things.”
Time chuckled, and Wild’s tail flicked around, the champion obviously still distressed. But he took a deep breath and sat up, determination in his eyes. Sky watched Wild’s tail swish around as he studied everybody’s animal forms, Sky’s pupils going wide, and suddenly shot out a paw to bap at it.
Wild jumped, and Sky immediately drew back, spouting apologies.
“Sorry! Sorry It caught my attention and I was just going to watch it but then I... I don’t know why I did that,” he finished in bewilderment.
Time let out a huff from nearby. “Instincts. Never know when they’re going to kick in. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve eaten rocks without thinking.”
Twilight wasn’t the only one who gave him a strange look at that.
Unfortunately none of them got to press the question, since right as Twilight opened his mouth to ask, a loud rumbling sound came from somewhere in the cave, the ground shaking under their feet.
Warriors stumbled, and Sky and Wild both fell over, the cave shaking so violently Twilight wondered if it was about to fall on their heads. He quickly positioned himself over the smallest members of the group, but the shaking abruptly stilled, and the cave went deathly quiet.
Then Twilight growled as a familiar voice suddenly spoke.
“You have all faced the magic and come out unbroken. You have passed the first stage,” the croaking voice echoed through the cave. “The second stage still remains. Survive and we will collect the chosen downstream at the crystal waters.”
“Good luck! I can’t wait for you to finish,” the other voice said excitedly, and Twilight saw Warriors flinch.
“Yeah, I’m sure,” Legend growled, and Twilight saw Sky’s claws slide out.
“Return us to our normal bodies!” Warriors shouted, the whinny echoing off the walls.
“I don’t think she can understand you,” Wild pointed out, then raised himself to his hind legs, showing off the sword-shaped patch of white on his belly. “Here— RETURN US TO OUR NORMAL BODIES YOU CULTY FREAKS!”
There was no reply.
“I doubt she liked being called a freak,” Time said dryly.
“Yeah, probably not. But still. Rude,” Legend sniffed. “Guess we’ll just survive phase two then.”
“We need to find the others,” Twilight spoke up, unable to keep the worry from his voice. “Now.“
“She said we all survived the magic though, doesn’t that mean they’re all okay?” Wild spoke up, and Sky’s tail flicked worriedly.
“She didn’t say anything about other dangers, though.”
As if summoned, a monster’s howl rang through the tunnels, and everyone stiffened, heads turning toward the sound.
“Wild, Legend, on Twilight’s back, Sky, you sit on Time, we’ll save the most time,” Warriors said quickly, and Legend helped Wild scramble up onto Twilight’s back, Sky carefully moving to sit on Time’s. “I’d... take one of you, but I don’t know how steady I can keep myself.”
“I’ve got them,” Twilight reassured, noticing the frustration on Warriors’ face. Warriors met his gaze, and Twilight lowered his head, ears flicking down. An apology for earlier.
Warriors looked at him a moment, then nodded back, apologizing as well.
Twilight breathed out, a little of the nauseating emotions rolling around in him easing a bit. He may be tired, cold, hungry, in pain and worried, but that was no excuse to take it out on Warriors.
They needed to work together to get out of this mess.
They all rushed off, Warriors having trouble going at a pace much faster than a walk, but pushing himself anyway. That had been a victorious sort of monster cry, and they didn’t have time to waste. Even if Warriors kept tripping on his hooves and barely catching himself.
“So,” Wild said after a minute, and Twilight flicked an ear to show he was listening. “How come you and the old man are wolves while the rest of us are... everything else?”
“I was wondering that too,” Legend spoke up. “...I still think it’s beyond unfair.”
“I don’t know why,” Twilight admitted. “Your form says something about your person, they reflect your spirit... or it does in my case. Even though the circumstances are weird, I’m guessing it’s the same for the rest of you. I guess mine and Time’s just happen to be similar.”
“And I’m a squirrel,” Wild grumbled, and Twilight sighed.
“Yeah. Squirrels aren’t so bad though. They’re hardy, smart, good at climbing, jumping... besides, we can’t all be unicorns,” Twilight pointed out as he hopped over a rock, and Wild and Legend both let out small huffs of laughter.
“I guess not. Still pretty strange there’s so much variety,” Wild hummed. “I would’ve guessed we’d all be wolves.”
He was quiet for several seconds, and Twilight turned his attention back to navigating through the dark cave.
“...Wait a second, if our animal forms reflect us, and Legend is a bunny—”
“Don’t you dare finish that thought.”
Wild chittered out a laugh.
His amusement faded when another snarl echoed through the caves though, and Twilight exchanged a glance with Time, trotting even faster. If anyone was hurt because they couldn’t get to them in time, Twilight didn’t know what he would do.
The green rocks increased in frequency around them, the darkness of cave a bit less intense. Twilight could hear water now, and regular grumbles and snorts that sounded like monsters. Time caught Warriors when he tripped again, and they all ran down the sloping passageway.
They turned a corner, and Twilight’s eyes went wide.
An underground stream flowed in front of them, wide, but fast, water a crystalline blue so bright it looked unnatural. More of those green rocks were scattered in and around the water, and though Twilight couldn’t see colors the best as a wolf, he could tell the mix of them was rather pretty.
But more important than the water or rocks was the group of moblins on the other side, one dragging a motionless deer behind it, another trying to bat away something running around by its feet.
“Hey!” Wild shouted, and leapt off of Twilight’s back, rushing over to the stream and attempting to hop across the rocks. His paws skidded on the slippery stone, but he managed to hang on and keep going. Twilight barked for Legend to hold on, and jumped into the water, quickly swimming across.
The water was achingly cold, but Twilight ignored it and Legend’s small squeak of dismay, paddling as fast as he could. The current wasn’t too fast for him, and Twilight leapt onto the shore right as a moblin kicked the small figure at its feet, making it squeal in pain.
Whoever it was went flying, and Twilight lunged for the moblin, teeth bared. Legend clung to his fur as he bowled the moblin over, and Twilight heard Time snarl as well, a different monster screeching in pain.
The disgusting tang of monster blood got in his mouth as he snapped at the moblin, but Twilight didn't let go until it let out a dying gurgle and went limp. He raised his head, watching Time struggle with his own moblin, Sky trying to help where he could, and also saw Warriors hurriedly trying to cross the water beside Wild.
Nobody had reached the moblin dragging the deer by the leg though, and Twilight whirled towards it, leaping at the beast with his fangs bared.
It saw him coming, and dodged his lunge to its neck, Twilight’s teeth closing around its arm instead. It snarled in anger as it dropped the deer, then raised a large club above its head, eyes glinting maliciously. Twilight knew he wouldn’t be able to move in time to avoid it, but then Legend leapt off his back, attaching himself to the moblin’s face and scratching and kicking at it furiously.
It screeched, and Twilight bit it on the wrist, making it drop its weapon. The moblin gave its head a violent shake and Legend went flying, but the opening was what Twilight needed to leap forward and finally bury his teeth in its neck.
He heard a splash behind him, fear ratcheting into his throat, but he couldn’t let go until the moblin fell still and it was stubbornly refusing to do so.
Come on, die already! Twilight thought with a snarl, abruptly twisting his head to the side.
A sickening crack rang out, and the moblin finally fell still, its tongue lolling. Twilight felt a lurch in his stomach at the more violent instinct he’d given into, but he swallowed it back and spat blood from his mouth.
He turned back to the water, and felt a quick flicker of relief as he saw Time standing over Legend's limp form, viciously attacking anything that came nearby. There were only three moblins left now, and Warriors was attempting to handle the other two, Wild goading them on and distracting them while Warriors attacked with his hooves and horn.
Which just left the question of where Sky and the other animal had gone.
Twilight whined anxiously, looking around the bloody shore for any sign of them. There was a lot going on, but he was sure that he would’ve noticed one or the both of them being hurt.
Twilight suddenly saw splashing, and he hurried over to the water, ears pricking as he saw a lithe shape struggling towards the shore, Sky’s large ears visible beside it. Twilight leaned way out, prepared to jump in if necessary, and when both heads dipped below the water, Twilight quickly splashed in and gently snatched them both by the scruff.
He dragged them to shore and set them down, then frantically sniffed the both of them, Sky's scratches reopened, the other animal's tail bleeding.
“Are you two okay?” Twilight barked urgently, and the lithe, creamy colored animal nodded shakily as he scooted closer to Sky.
“I’m good,” Wind’s voice chirped tiredly from it, turning his head so that Twilight got a good look at the swirl of blue on his head and back. “Or good enough. This... is so weird.”
“Yeah,” Twilight agreed, then turned his attention to Sky, the poor remlit panting with exhaustion in a soggy heap on the ground. “You good buddy?”
“Give... me... a sec...” Sky coughed, a shiver running through him.
Twilight nodded, and glanced back at the battle just in time to see a moblin charging for them, eyes crazed.
Wind squealed in alarm and Twilight leapt to intercept the monster, snapping at its neck. Somehow it managed to dodge the attack, and abruptly slammed its club into his side, making Twilight yelp in pain.
He was knocked to the ground, but despite the pain he got back up almost instantly. The moblin was running for Sky, and a feral snarl escaped Twilight as he leapt back at the moblin again. This time he managed to knock it off-balance, and Twilight and the moblin went sprawling to the ground, snarls and the snapping of teeth ringing through the cave as they struggled.
Twilight ignored the sharp ache ringing up his side and focused only on taking down the moblin that had been charging for Wind and Sky. It gave as good as it got, and Twilight was already scratched and kicked and sorely aching when the moblin suddenly raked its claws into his muzzle.
A sharp sting ripped across his face, and Twilight yelped in pain as he reeled back, tears welling in his eyes.
“Twilight!”
Something snapped in Twilight, and despite the sharp pain, he lunged back in again, snapping ferociously at the moblin’s neck. He clawed and tore and shook the monster under him, and it wasn’t until something pressed against his side and shouted his name that Twilight realized the moblin had gone still, and it was silent in the cave once more.
Twilight stumbled back, panting as blood dripped from his face and mouth, staring at the ripped-up moblin below him. It was barely recognizable, and bile rose in his throat, shame and disgust slamming into him. Something suddenly butted gently against his side, and Twilight wearily raised his head, seeing Time looking at him with alarm in his eye.
The older hero was gently supporting him, and Twilight wondered why before he suddenly realized his legs were trembling.
“I’m okay,” Twilight said finally, sitting down with a whine at the pain in his side and face. At Time’s incredulous look, Twilight huffed. “Seriously, I am. Nothing’s broken, just bruised, I can tell.”
“Bruised ribs are no joke,” Warriors said as he walked by, but he didn’t stop to bother Twilight about it further. He was making his way over to the deer, who was still lying ominously still on the ground. Legend at least had stirred nearby, but he looked a little dazed, a paw held close to his chest.
Fear lurched through him and Twilight struggled back to his feet, Time still supporting his side, and he walked slowly over to Legend and the deer.
Time didn’t further question his injuries, but Twilight could feel his gaze on him as they made a brief detour for Twilight to wash some of the blood from his mouth.
I get it old man, you’re worried.
Twilight swallowed, the taste of blood still in his mouth.
I am too.
They made it to where Warriors had gone, and Twilight sat down with a huff, the others all gathered around in a loose circle. Twilight looked around at them all, bloody, disturbed, weary and damp, and lowered his head down to rest on his paws.
Are we anywhere close to getting out of here?
Twilight breathed out slowly, and tilted his head to look at the deer, a light brown and with a few speckles of pale green scattered around on his back and face. Warriors knelt beside him, and gave the deer and Legend both as much of a look-over as he could.
Wind scampered past, his feet making little paps on the floor, and he sniffed at the deer, then looked fearfully at Warriors.
“Is Hyrule okay?” he asked, fur still a little damp.
“Yes, Hyrule is okay,” a voice groaned, and Twilight turned to see the deer raise its head, blinking dizzily. “Ow.”
"Traveler!" Legend and Wind said at the same time, both looking relieved.
“Careful,” Warriors warned, but Hyrule shifted around anyway, moving like he was going to stand up.
He immediately toppled over when he tried, his hooves going everywhere, and Wind let out a sympathetic little noise. Hyrule blinked, attempting to correct himself, and when he failed, stared up at the near zoo standing around him.
“Um. So why do I have four feet and feel like I got doused in dark magic?” Hyrule asked, sounding surprisingly unconcerned. “Also... why’s there a unicorn just standing there?”
“That’s me,” Warriors said grumpily, and Hyrule blinked.
“Oh. Okay.”
“Weird cult ladies, we were dumped in a cave, dark magic stuff,” Legend summarized from where he'd moved to sit beside Sky, and Hyrule nodded, accidentally hitting his antlers on a rock.
“Ow. Yeah... I remember now. I thought I heard Wind when we fell, and I got up to go find him, but then I felt all that dark magic and blacked out,” he reported with a scrunch if his nose. “And now I’m a... deer?"
“Looks like it,” Warriors said, and Twilight heard the grim smile in his voice. “Welcome to the hoof club.” Hyrule looked around, then blinked, staring at the eclectic pile of animals gathered near Sky. "...Is that rabbit wearing a vest?"
Warriors snorted out a laugh, and then attempted to give Hyrule a crash course in who was who, and also how to walk with hooves. While they stumbled around, Twilight took the opportunity to look around at everyone else, making sure they were all still accounted for. Time was beside him still, a few scratches on his leg, some blood staining his muzzle. Legend and Wild were huddled beside Sky, trying to warm him up while Legend nursed his injured paw, and Wind and Warriors were cheering Hyrule on as he tried to raise himself up on wobbly legs.
That meant the only one missing now was Four.
Twilight looked at the stream, remembering the croaky voice’s mention of water. The exit must be somewhere near here if they were going to be... collected, but they couldn’t leave without Four.
Where could he be?
“...okay, so I know Twilight and Time are the wolves,” Wind said, and Twilight looked back to see him moving to sit next to Sky as well. “Wild’s... a thing? Furry thing?”
“A squirrel,” Wild sighed. “And Warriors is the unicorn, Sky is the cat thing I forget the name of, Legend is the rabbit,” he said with a snicker, and Legend glared at him. “And you're a... I actually have no idea what you are.”
“He's an otter,” Legend said grumpily, attempting to tie his vest into a sling with one arm. “They swim around and eat clams.”
“What’s a clam?” Wind asked.
“Shellfish.”
“That’s not very nice of him,” Hyrule said as he wobbled over, and Wild and Wind joined in on his laughter while several of the others rolled their eyes.
“Enough goofing off, we still need to find Four,” Twilight spoke up, and everyone turned to look at him. "And any ideas on how we're going to deal with these witches or whatever they are?"
"We head downstream and see what happens I suppose," Time sighed. "Our smithy must have heard that message too, he’ll know where to go."
"He could be hurt though," Wind chirped worriedly, rubbing a paw over his whiskery cheek.
"And what if he was unconscious somewhere and we missed him?" Legend added.
"Twilight or the old man would've smelled him though, wouldn't they?" Warriors pointed out. "Twilight's been looking for scents this whole time, surely he would've gotten some sign of him."
"Wait, what if he got turned into a fish or something?" Wind suddenly gasped, looking at the water. "What if he's down there and—"
"Quiet!" Sky suddenly shouted in a croaky voice, his wide ears held out.
All of them went silent, and Sky swiveled his ears around, looking ruffled, but a little less like a drowned rat as he carefully sat up. Twilight pricked his ears too, and for a moment, all anyone heard was the noise of the stream rushing by, and blood and water dripping softly from wounds.
Then Twilight heard a pained cry so soft he could barely make it out.
"That was Four," Sky gasped, obviously able to make it out better than him. "He... wait."
He pricked his ears, and then his eyes went wide.
"I can hear those women, they have Four!"
Twilight jumped to his feet, biting back a whine of pain as his side sparked angrily. "Then we need to go help him, come on!"
“We can’t just rush in there without a plan,” Warriors whinnied, stomping a hoof. “Rancher you’re injured, Hyrule can barely walk, Sky practically drowned, we need a plan if we’re going to be able to—”
“Then I’m going by myself!” Twilight snarled, and whirled around and took off, ignoring the others’ shouts and cries to come back.
Twilight’s paws pounded against the stone as the others’ voices faded behind him, every step sending a jolt up along his injured side. Blood was drying on his face, sticky and uncomfortable, but Twilight only ran faster, listening for any more signs of Four.
He knew he would need the others’ help. He knew he wouldn’t be able to take them on by himself, and Twilight especially knew he was being incredibly stupid by running off alone.
But he didn’t care.
Every moment could matter for Four.
#sorry to be continued again#linkeduniverse#linked universe#lu twilight#lu chain#all the links#lu wolfie#whumptober#whumptober 2024#no.28#no holds barred beatdown#used as bait#tw injury#tw violence#fic#writing from the floor#ta daaaaaaah#please enjoy this crazy long thing <3#next part will be either 30 or 31!
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warm hues! - xu minghao
warnings: none
pairings: xu minghao x reader
genre: tipsy minghao? friends to lovers!
wc: 1.3k
drunken confessions series
check out my masterlist!
the sun has already set by the time you decide to call minghao. he’d been in his art studio all day, working on his latest project—a piece he’d been tight-lipped about, only dropping vague hints whenever you tried to pry. knowing him, he was probably lost in his own world, forgetting to eat, drink, or even take a break. the thought makes you frown as you wait for him to pick up.
after a few rings, you hear his voice, soft and slightly breathy, like he’d been completely engrossed in his art before your call interrupted him. “hey,” minghao says, a smile evident in his tone. “what’s up?”
“hao, are you still at the studio?” you ask, already knowing the answer.
there’s a pause, then a light chuckle. “yeah, why? missing me already?” he teased.
you roll your eyes, though your lips curve into a smile. “i just wanted to bring you dinner. you’ve probably forgotten to eat again.”
“i didn’t forget,” he argues, though you can hear the lie in his voice. “i just... haven’t had time.”
“exactly my point,” you say, grabbing the packed meal you prepared with him in mind. “i’m on my way. don’t even think about touching another paintbrush until you’ve eaten.”
he hums in response, and you can picture the way he’s probably smiling to himself, eyes crinkling at the corners. “okay, okay. i’ll wait for you.”
–
when you arrive at minghao’s studio, you’re met with the faint scent of paint and the warm, earthy aroma of wine. his art studio is a familiar place, filled with canvases leaning against the walls, paint splatters on every surface, and brushes scattered across the tables. minghao himself is standing in front of a large canvas, wine glass in hand, his cheeks flushed a soft pink.
“you actually listened to me,” you say, surprised to see him waiting by the canvas, paintbrush set aside.
he turns to you, a smile breaking across his face. “of course i did. how could i not when you asked so nicely?” his voice has tipsy lilt to it, and you realize he’s more than just a little buzzed.
you raise an eyebrow, holding up the bag of food. “you’ve been drinking?”
“just a little,” he admits, holding up the almosy empty bottle of wine. “it pairs well with painting.”
you sigh, setting the food down on a nearby table. “come on, you need to eat something. wine on an empty stomach isn’t a good idea.”
minghao laughs, setting his glass down and obediently following you to the table. he sits across from you, and you can’t help but notice the way his gaze lingers on your face, his eyes soft and warm.
“thank you,” he says quietly as you unpack the meal, his voice carrying a sincerity that makes your heart flutter.
“hmm,” you reply simply, avoiding his gaze. “just eat, okay?”
he does as he’s told, taking bites of the food you brought while occasionally sipping his wine. it isn’t long before he starts talking, his usual calm and collected demeanor slipping as he grows more relaxed.
“you know,” he starts, swirling the wine in his glass, “i’ve been working on this piece for a while.”
“yeah?” you prompt, curious. “what’s it about?”
minghao hesitates, his eyes drifting to the canvas he’d been working on. it’s partially finished, splashes of colors blending together in a way that’s both chaotic and beautiful. there are hints of a figure in the center, but it’s not fully defined yet. he seems lost in thought for a moment, then turns back to you.
“it’s... inspired by you,” he admits, his voice soft, almost vulnerable. “or, well, because of you.”
your eyes widen in surprise, and for a moment, you can’t find the words. silence hangs between you, and minghao’s smile falters, a nervous, almost panicked look crossing his face.
“you don’t have to say anything,” he rushes out, his voice strained. “i know that probably sounds weird, or maybe you think it’s stupid, but i couldn’t help it. you inspire me, and i... i’m in love with you. god, i shouldn’t have said that. i’m sorry- i just-”
“hao,” you finally interrupt, your voice soft but firm. he stops rambling, his wide, anxious eyes meeting yours.
“why do you think i remind you to eat and bring you food all the time?” you ask, your cheeks burning. “why do you think i worry about you spending all day in here, forgetting to take care of yourself?”
minghao’s mouth opens slightly, his panic giving way to confusion. “why…?”
you let out a small, nervous laugh, feeling your heart race. “it’s because i care about you, too. a lot.”
minghao’s expression softens, but there’s still a flicker of doubt in his eyes. “you do? you do…,” he answers himself, “but..like as a friend..or…?” he whispers subconsciously, trying to mask his nervousness, his voice barely audible.
you nod as your fingers start brushing against his where they rest on the table. “I would like to bring you food all the time, every day actually. without needing to care or worry if I sound overbearing. if thats..what you want too?”
his lips part, and for a second, he looks like he’s still processing your words. then, slowly, a smile spreads across his face; one that’s full of relief and disbelief all at once. he laughs, a sound that’s almost giddy, and he reaches out to gently cup your face.
“are you sure? will you really do that? you know I love the food you make me.” he asks, his thumbs brushing over your cheeks.
“yeah,” you whisper, your voice steady despite your racing heart. “i’ve never been more sure of anything.”
minghao's eyes search yours, and you can feel the way his fingers tremble slightly against your skin. His smile doesn’t waver, but there’s something soft and unguarded in the way he looks at you, as if he can hardly believe what he’s hearing.
“then,” he says, voice hushed and tender, “i want that. i want everything you’re willing to give me.” his forehead leans against yours, and you can feel the warmth of his breath mixing with yours, a silent, shared exhale that says everything neither of you can quite put into words.
you close your eyes, your hands moving to rest over his, anchoring the moment in your memory. the world outside his studio feels distant, almost nonexistent, as if the only things that matter are his touch, his smile, and the way your heart beats in time with his.
“hao,” you whisper, opening your eyes to find him already watching you. there’s a playful glint there, even amidst the sincerity, and it makes you smile despite yourself.
“yes?” he asks, tilting his head slightly.
“finish your food before it gets cold,” you tease, breaking the moment with a light laugh. “you promised, remember?”
he lets out a laugh, one that’s full and genuine, and the tension between you both dissipates like mist. “right,” he agrees, finally pulling away, though his gaze never strays far from your face. “but only if you sit here with me while i eat.”
“of course, always.” you reply, settling in beside him and feeling his shoulder brush against yours. it’s a simple question & a simple answer, but the meaning behind both of them, so much deeper.
minghao picks up his fork, taking another bite of the meal you prepared, and you sit together in the comfort of his art-filled sanctuary, a newfound understanding shimmering in the air between you.
“thank you,” he whispers, his voice full of awe. “for being here. for always taking care of me.”
“thank you too, for always listening so well & letting me take care of you.” you murmur, your heart swelling.
“only because it's you.”
minghao pulls you into a kiss, he hopes you know that this kiss is an unspoken agreement he promises never to break.
#seventeen#seventeen imagine#seventeen fluff#svt#svt fluff#svt x reader#svt angst#fanfic#seventeen x reader#the8 fluff#the8 angst#the8 imagines#the8 fanfic#xu minghao#the8 seventeen#seventeen the8#the8 x reader#xu minghao x reader#xu minghao fluff#xu minghao angst#xu minghao fanfic#xu minghao imagines#minghao x reader#minghao fluff#minghao angst#minghao imagines#minghao fanfic#minghao seventeen#minghao
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header by me !
cw : afab r , making out / hickies , mention of saliva once at the end , like 2 curse words , slight implied sex .
e: ellie and r are paired up for a chem project,however things get a more organic reaction
(this is my first fic lmk how it is and some tips if you’d like <3)
You looked around admiring the house as you stood at the porch.It was a pretty normal house honestly and not far from yours,You remember reading the text Ellie sent you before you walked to Her house.
“just knock when you’re here,it’s just gonna be us because i’m home alone for a couple days”
So you did, you knocked and about 2 minutes later Ellie came to the door,dressed in a grey wifebeater tank and some black sweatpants. She leaned slightly on the doorframe , looking you over for a quick second.
“hey, come in”
She said in a quiet monotone but welcoming voice, maybe She was just feeling you out.
You both went inside and up towards Her room,Her house was adorned in timeless and classic decor with pictures of Her and an Older man framed on some of the walls,you just assumed it was Her Father or something.
“this is my room..you can sit and put your stuff anywhere”
She grabs a messy group of papers and Her phone from her desk.
You nod and put your bag down on the floor infront of her bed,sitting on the edge hanging your legs off.Her room was filled with posters and little figurines, some with space related items or dinosaurs. It seemed like She was the nerdy type with a special interest in that kinda stuff even in class.. but You of course, found it cute.
Ellie set up her papers and supplies for the project on her bed,hiking her legs up and sitting across from you on her bed,slightly leaned against the headboard. Her arms flexed with each movement and you tried to keep yourself focused on the task at hand,gently feeling the soft navy blue sheets under you.
“..did you need anything before we start..? ..like food or a snack?”
She tilted her head to the side,Auburn streaks gently fanning her cheeks.
you
“no i’m alright..thanks though”
She nods,starting to write down stuff on her paper. You and ellie talked a handful of times but usually just always ended up paired together in projects or assignments.She couldn’t complain though.. She had always found you pretty attractive and was naturally comfortable around you and just didn’t wanna seem weird or something.
You both started to complete the project, just some chemicals , periodic table blah blah blah.You just couldn’t stop looking at her gorgeous freckles that littered her tanned skin just right, and the way she looked up at you with her greenish hazel puppy eyes, or how her hands were so perfect and how you wonder what her fingers would feel-
“hey..you okay? you’re like..zoning out”
She moves a hair from your face,trying to read your expression.
“yeah u-uhm i’m good! sorry i was just thinking.”
You quickly attempt to poorly hide the fact that you were just caught casually gawking at your study partner.
“right..”
She says softly as she writes down another chemical name.
You both eventually start talking more and getting settled. Ellie is silently noticing how you’re constantly staring at Her lips and how her toned lean muscles flex while she stretches after writing with her pencil.
“..and they have…”
You drag on the sentence, looking up to see Ellie leaning up on the headboard, her tank top riding up barely enough to show her v line.She seemed so clueless and chill but also somehow knew..?
And she did.
“they have…?”
Ellie asks curiously in regards to your unfinished sentence.
“…come right on me.”
It just slipped. You almost didn’t correct yourself because you didn’t realize how outrageous you sounded,Ellie’s facial expressions reminded you quickly.
“what?-
“fuck i meant camaraderie…like they had really good-”
Ellie looks you over for a moment, blinking.
“are you eyefucking me right now or something?”
You freeze in embarrassment. Assuming she probably thinks you’re a weirdo pervert trying to just stare at her instead of studying.
You wouldn’t turn the offer down though.
“no i- im sorry i didn’t-
Ellie leans forward a little closer to you,her eyes flickering down to your parted lips before back up at you in amusement.
“tell me what you want.. like what you actually want.”
You can almost feel her breath on your lips.her eyes gazed into yours and you felt like you could get lost in them forever.You knew you couldn’t lie to her.
“..kiss me..please”
You whined, it came out more breathless than you thought it would and you started to feel the room getting hotter.
Ellie wasted no time gently pressing her plush salmon colored lips onto yours,gently sucking your bottom lip before gently kitten licking it,a silent ask for entrance. She leaned over a little more to get on top of you to kiss you deeper,her hands found their way onto your hips and then your cheeks again,then playing with little strands of your hair. She ran her hands along your body as if she was trying to remember every inch of you,like you’d dissolve in a minute.
“..this is okay right?..we can keep going. if you want.”
Ellie whispered,her warm breath gently hitting the shell of your ear,the faint noise of the chemistry papers falling off the bed was quickly forgotten.
“yeah”
You whisper back.She starts kissing your neck and leaving small marks by your collarbone , nipping at your neck oh so gently while taking her time to find those soft spots that made you feel heat pooling in your lower stomach.
“you’re so beautiful”
She mumbled,wiping the mix of hers and your saliva mixed with your lipgloss / chapstick on the side of your lip,gently pushing you back onto the bed.
let’s just say , you and ellie have really good bed chem.
© All rights belong to ruxined , you may not copy , translate , repost , modify or plagiarize any of my material.
#ellie williams#ellie the last of us#ellie x reader#ellie tlou#ellie x fem reader#ellie willams x reader
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List of "normal" things that always baffled me as a person on the aro/ace spectrum:
Disclaimer: A lot of this is based on the feelings and perception of my teenage self when I started to feel people around me were weird but didn't have the language or concept yet to understand what was wrong. So, give me a break if it sounds edgy sometimes. I don’t have the energy to sugarcoat every statement so it doesn’t offend anyone. If you're part of the mainstream and feel attacked by a random dude on the internet questioning things you find "normal," maybe ask yourself why you’re upset instead of coming for me.
1. "Love at first sight."
Even as a kid, this felt like a scam. I get friendship, and I can imagine love developing out of it. But for that, you need to know the person. You can't know someone instantly. So how on earth is this supposed to work? (The answer is, most ppl can feel sexual attraction instantaneously and it gets sold as love for the kids.)
2. Finding someone "attractive" = you’d like to fuck them.
I honestly was like 20something when I realized that actually yes, when ppl talk about someone, even celebs, being "attractive," they do mean they’d like to have sex with them and not just compliment them on their looks.
Like, I can honestly say that many of my friends, Cate Blanchett, and Hugh Jackman are "attractive." But to me, that’s like talking about a painting. Like, sure, Singer Sargent's Madame X is "attractive," but no one's trying to, uh, get it on with the painting… right?
3. The whole concept of dating (to find a romantic partner.)
So, you’re telling me people meet up specifically to see if they might develop feelings for each other when they don't have those feelings yet?
Like, what even makes you say yes to a date if you don't know a person at all? (The answer is: once again, sexual attraction, obviously.)
On the other hand, if you’re already friends with someone and just wanna see where it goes, why bring the flowers and fancy dinners into the equation?
4. Why people (especially women) would even risk sex back when it could have had major consequences for them
The list includes (but isn’t limited to):
Women before reliable contraception in societies where an unplanned pregnancy could be socially catastrophic;
Brothel visitors once STDs were known;
(Here’s the tricky one bc I myself kinda feel guilty for not being empathetic enough) gay people, especially men, in times and places where they could literally be imprisoned or executed for having sex
I need to be very clear here, this isn’t about moral superiority as I'm not feeling any, it’s about survival. Like, if sex could legit mess up your life, why not just… not do it?
Yeah it's basically rip to “fallen” women but I’m different.
5. The culture of one-night stands, cruising, club hookups, etc.
This is still a bit uncomfortable in my head because this is a very prominent part of gay culture specifically, and I’ve always felt incredibly disconnected from it. But I can't edit it out.
Okay, so someone’s hot. I can maybe get that there’s a spark. But if you don’t know them… what if they open their mouth mid-action and reveal they voted for trump? Instant deal-breaker, my genitals are shriveling in terror.
6. The need to have a partner / actively searching for one.
I give it to you, if you vibe with someone, getting into a relationship may make sense. But actually, putting in effort to find one? For what? There’s so much other cool stuff in life!
7. "I haven’t had sex in five minutes/a month/half a year 😱😭" / jokes about dry spells.
Do you actually keep track of the timelines? So what if you haven’t? I get it, orgasm is great and all, but your hand still works, right? Why do you need another person for that?
8. Imagining yourself in place of a person/character in sex scenes.
This mostly applies to fanfics but also “regular” porn. Even if the scene is hot, I don’t picture myself as any of the characters involved. Even if I'm aroused, I like it precisely for the characters in a specific scenario, I would only be a third wheel there.
9. Sexual fantasies with yourself as a participant.
I really don't want to imagine myself in any sexual scenarios, neither with fictional characters nor with real people, even if I might have a crush on them.
10. Cheating in relationships/marriage.
I’m not even talking about the moral aspect of breaking trust/violating the negotiated agreements; it’s the fact that someone "just couldn’t help themselves," “accidentally” had sex. Like, you’re willing to break an agreement, feel all the guilt, and go all secret agent-level to hide the thing because you… what, couldn’t keep it in your pants?
11. Extreme jealousy over sex.
Alongside the last point, I don’t really get why people make such a big deal about someone sleeping with someone else. Sure, it’s not cool to break agreements, and it’s a valid reason to re-evaluate the relationship. But just because they hooked up with someone else? Why is it such a dramatic deal?
(Spoiler alert: I’ve grown up to be poly now, who’s surprised xD)
12. The sexualization of women in media, ads, and the outrage from cishet guys about female characters wearing realistic armor instead of metal bikinis in their games now.
What do you mean, people actually like this and it works on them? Do people actually appreciate having half-naked women in their media? Seriously?
13. The priority of romantic relationships over friendships and every other kind of relationship.
From "got a partner, disappeared for two months from their friend group" to the whole idea that romance is inherently more "serious" or "important" than friendship. Why? Who made that a rule?
Okay, that’s it off the top of my head. Might add something later.
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Oh, how do I explain...? - Aomine Daiki x Reader
best friend's brother and meet ugly - for @tsxkishimx for the Milestone Event Week 1
Your best friend picks up right away.
“Hey, what’s new with you?” You ask, hoping she won’t hear the light quiver in your voice.
“Nothing much.” She yawns. “Why are you calling, though? Did you rip your pants again and need an explanation on how to stitch them back up the fastest way?”
“No! And that happened over a year ago, why do you have to bring that up all the time?”
“Because.” You can hear the grin in her voice. “Now tell, what’s going on?”
“I might not be single anymore.”
“Shut up!” She cries out before gathering herself again. “Okay, I’m all ears. Who? When? How?”
“Well,” you cringe, glad she can’t see your face. “You know him.”
“Oh, is it Steve?”
“It’s not Steve.” From across the room, Daiki’s head shoots up. He’d been pretending not to listen in, but you can tell he’s doing anything but.
“Steve?” He mouths in your direction and you shake your head at him.
“Thank god,” your best friend comments with relief. “He’s kinda weird. But I know them?”
“Yeah,” you can’t help sounding a little miffed now. “There are guys who think I’m cute, you know!”
“Sure, sure. But Kuroko is taken and you think Kagami is overrated, so-”
“Why would you think-” You cut yourself off before you can say that name out loud, knowing Daiki will most likely wreak havoc at the thought of it. “I’ll tell you how we met and you’ll probably guess it from there.”
“Oh, an iconic entrance. You’re known for that.”
“Shut up!” You groan, almost more to Daiki than to her because he’s now taking a place on the Couch next to your feet, brows furrowed, still focused on the Steve topic.
You pull a threat from the inseam of your hoodie and play with it as you recollect that fated first meeting.
-
“Bathroom is down the hallway, the second door to the right.” Your friend says as she sends you your merry way.
“Okay,” you hop along, a little too energetic for this late hour but your friend has sweets at home whereas your mom is more fond of almonds and raisins for snacks.
Whistling, you open the bathroom door with flourish only to come face to face with a boy. A very much naked boy.
You squeak and he flinches back, tripping on a crumpled-up towel on the floor and falling backward.
“Close the door,” he yells at you and you do just that, though your brain’s too focused on panicking to do all the other necessary steps.
“And get out!” He groans from somewhere behind you.
“Oh, sure, yes.” You scramble for the door again, this time to step outside as well only to realize that there’s still unfinished business.
You knock softly. “I need to use the toilet though.”
“That’s the next door!” Comes his muffled reply.
-
“Well,” you clear your throat awkwardly. “We met when I accidentally walked in on him when he got out of the shower.”
Your friend laughs. “Oh my god, is that your theme now? I remember when you did that with Daiki, that was hilarious.”
“It was no fun at all,” Daiki grumbles, low enough you barely catch it but your friend has the ears of a bat, it seems.
“Who’s that?” She asks and your breath hitches in your throat.
“N-no one.”
“Oh, is your boyfriend with you? Let me say hi!”
You’re still hesitating when you see Daiki move forward as if to grab your phone so you react on instinct.
“N-no, you have to guess first.”
“Oh,” she sounds a little dejected. “How long have you been crushing on them?”
Daiki stops, a Cheshire cat grin growing on his face as you grow even more flustered.
“That’s a mean question,” you tell your friend but she doesn’t want to hear any of that.
“Nonsense. I know you better than he ever will. Tell me, how long have you been crushing on him?”
-
“Do you have a crush on anyone?” Your new best friend asks.
Two days you know each other now and you’ve already decided that you’ll be best friends forever, no matter where life takes you.
Thank god the teacher put you two next to each other in class.
“Yeah,” you duck your head between your shoulders. “There’s a guy in school that’s really cute.”
“Really? From our class?”
You shake your head. “No. He’s a third year. He’s going to go to Middle School next year.”
“Oh,” she sounds sympathetic and you like her even more.
At least she understands how much it will hurt to have the only cute guy in school leave after just one year.
“Who do you like?” You ask and she opens her little notebook to show you a cut out from a magazine.
“He’s really pretty,” you tell her, admiring her choice until you find a familiar face amongst all those cutouts.
“Who’s that?” You ask, pointing at it. How does she have a picture of your crush?
“Oh? That’s my big brother Daiki. He’s so annoying.”
-
“Since Primary School?” Your best friend's voice echoes through the room. Daiki’s face changes into something you can’t really pronounce but his hand curls around your ankle like a promise, a gesture so soft it’s almost surprising.
“But the only guy you liked back then was- OH MY GOD!”
You cringe but it’s too late.
“Am I on speaker? Please tell me I’m on speaker.”
“You’re on speaker,” Daiki adds before you can say anything.
“You’re such an ass!” She tells him. “I’ve been trying to set you guys up for years and you get together in the only week I’m not around?”
“Why do you think we managed? It was so much easier without your ugly mutt interfering.”
“You take that back-”
“Can we just be happy?” You cut in. “Please?”
“Hmph.” They both grunt in unison, too alike all of a sudden.
“You’re not mad?”
“Mad? No. I’m elated. I’m just pissed my brother didn’t let me know anything. At least you’re keeping me up to date. I want all the details when I’m back from my trip, okay?”
“Sure.”
“And Daiki, if you hurt her, I’m going to make sure Mom and Dad know!”
“Yeah, yeah.” He waves her off, cutting the line at the same time. “As if I’d let that happen.”
#knb x reader#knb#knb fluff#my writing#kuroko no basket#aomine daiki#aomine fluff#aomine x reader#aomine daiki x reader
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i have the second chapter of this almost done yall (ideally posting it tomorrow or saturday, fingers crossed!!) the depression has been depressioning and i had some health stuff going on 😮💨 here’s a little snippet of a scene i DO have finished though as thanks for being so patient with me
discussion of sui after the break, but it’s mostly lighthearted i swear - 968 words of platonic evan & regulus
Regulus was surprised to find that he was able to focus on writing much longer this morning than he had in a long time. Instead of staring at the screen wallowing at the fact that no words came to him, he was able to write a few pages as the cafe got busier throughout the morning. When someone sat at his table, he was almost able to ignore them with his headphones blocking out the sounds around him and his face buried in his laptop. It wasn’t until he felt a sharp kick to his shin that he even glanced up from his laptop, glaring as he ripped his headphones off his ears.
"Hey—" Immediately, his face softened at the man sitting across from him. "Oh, hey Evan."
"Oh, hey Evan. Are you fucking kidding me?" He kicked Regulus again, this time with more malice. "You act weird for a week, send me some cryptic goodbye text, and disappear for weeks. I had to find out from your brother what happened. And all I get is oh, hey Evan."
"To be fair, Sirius told me he updated you, so I figured you weren’t worried anymore."
"Of course I was fucking worried. You’re my best friend." Evan looked at him with so much sadness in his eyes that it made Regulus squirm under his gaze. "I’m still worried. Barty says I shouldn’t be, that they wouldn’t have discharged you if you weren’t okay, but I know you. I know you know how to manipulate them into thinking you’re fine. You know how to make all of us think you’re fine when you’re really not."
"Barty is right,” Regulus replied, choosing to ignore the rest of what Evan said. “I’m fine."
"See, that actually makes me think that you’re the exact opposite of fine. Barty is never right and you’re always the first one to say it."
Regulus laughed at that. "Okay, okay. Fine. I’m stable, how’s that for an answer?"
"Now that, I’ll actually believe." Evan said as he raked his dark fingers through his platinum curls. "Did your life experiences give you any inspiration for your book?"
And just like that, Regulus was forgiven and all was back to normal with his best friend. He knew things between them would be fine, even after that first night in the hospital. In fact, the only thing that he didn’t have anxiety about was whether or not Evan would forgive him. He had stressed about everything and everyone else, even what Barty thought about him consumed Regulus’ thoughts for a time, but he knew Evan would always accept him no matter what. Despite his attempts at avoiding him all throughout their college years, every year they ended up being dorm roommates again. Later, Evan would admit that he had requested to be roomed with Regulus because he loved having such a quiet and tidy roommate. But eventually they grew attached to one another, able to communicate non-verbally in ways that he had never been able to with anyone other than his own brother. They respected one another and as time went on, their respect blossomed into a friendship that was unshakable. When Regulus had returned to their dorm after Sirius showed up in his life again, Evan was the one who convinced him to trust that his brother wanted to be a part of his life. Evan was the one who saw him sob uncontrollably over his brother and their lost time together, never once judging him. Evan was always the one who could get through to Regulus, no matter how mentally unstable he had become.
When Evan had started dating Barty, Regulus had thought that Evan was the crazy one. Barty was known on campus as a party animal–loud, unhinged, and untamed. They had met at a party that Evan insisted Regulus attend with him. Barty had offered them some pills, which they both swallowed without even questioning. They drank a series of shots together, and the three of them had become inseparable since then. Surprisingly, Barty was often the voice of reason among their little group. Despite his poor short term decision making skills—evidenced by the stick-and-poke tattoos that littered his body and the drugs often coursing through his veins—Barty was relatively level-headed. He could look at things in calculated ways that neither Regulus nor Evan ever could, balancing the weight of risk involved in everything that they did. Regulus’ anxieties often clouded his decisions, always assuming the worst outcome, and Evan simply didn’t care to think that far ahead, preferring to live in the moment and practice the mindfulness that he’d learned in his years of yoga. In a strange way, Barty and Evan seemed to have always been made for each other, and over the years Regulus shifted from feeling envious of their easy love to feeling relief that they had each other and still kept him close, never making him feel like a third-wheel or a burden.
"You know, jumping off a bridge does have its perks," Regulus said dryly. "I have been feeling inspired to write my novel again. It’s like a fresh start."
"Oh, fuck off. Your novel is a murder mystery, not some prose about the meaning of life."
"Yeah, and now I know what it feels like to nearly drown. I’m thinking of changing the entire method of murder now." Regulus sipped at his coffee as Evan balked at him, clearly unsure if Regulus was joking or not. "In other news, I have a date tonight."
"Show me his profile." Evan didn’t miss a beat at the subject change and held out his hand expectantly for Regulus’ phone. "You may say that you’re mentally stable, but I know your taste in men sucks regardless of your mental state."
A Habit to Kick (The Age-Old Curse)
A few weeks ago, Regulus Black jumped off a bridge. It's not that he really wanted to die, but he didn't really want to live either. He didn't think anyone would care one way or another, if he's honest. Now he's stuck learning how to live.
James Potter was used to seeing Reg every day at the cafe he worked in, until one day he stopped coming in. When he finally sees the guy he's been crushing on come back into the cafe, he knew he had to take his chance at asking him out on a date.
***This fic deals with heavy themes of depression, lack of a will to live, and suicide, but will have a happy ending***
wip, word count: 6,163, jegulus end game, established wolfstar
read on ao3 or the first full chapter after the break
(I posted about half of this chapter, unedited, earlier this week on this account as a teaser, but this is the full chapter and has been fully edited - expect sporadic updates of this fic posted here and on ao3.)
Regulus thought he knew loneliness before, but nothing prepared him for the emptiness that he was left with upon returning home after his hospitalization. One of the stipulations of his discharge was that he couldn’t stay home alone for the first couple of weeks and so his older brother, Sirius, trailed through the door behind him with a gym bag full of clothes and other things he deemed necessary. He closed the door to Regulus’ apartment behind him then dropped the bag on the floor next to him as he kicked off his combat boots. Regulus stared at the mismatched socks on his feet, one green and one blue, and wondered if there would ever be a time when he learned to care so little about details like that. Where Sirius learned to care less about what other people think about him and the way he presented himself, Regulus internalized perfection in every facet of his life.
“I’m gonna take a shower,” Regulus said as he turned away and walked further into his apartment that felt less like home than it ever did. He couldn’t say that he found comfort in the hospital, far from it, but something about his stay made everything here feel less and less like his.
“Reggie,” Sirius’ voice was thick with concern as he hung his leather jacket on the hook in the entryway. “Can’t we just chill for a bit first? Maybe watch a movie or something?”
“I’m not gonna kill myself in the shower, Sirius,” he shot over his shoulder and kept walking towards the bathroom. “But I might if I don’t wash the filth from the hospital off my skin.”
Sirius stormed up behind him and grabbed his shoulder, whipping him around to look him in the eye. “Don’t fucking joke like that. Not yet. I really thought I lost you, you know.” His eyes welled with tears and his face paled. Before Regulus could comprehend what was happening, he was being pulled into a tight embrace. He was pretty sure he’s been hugged more times in the past few weeks than he ever had in his entire life.
Regulus found himself rubbing Sirius’ back, internally cringing at the idea of soothing his brother when he was the one who was pushed so far by the demands of his everyday life that he opted to end it. “I promise to stop making jokes about killing myself for one week if you let me go take a shower, deal?”
“Leave the door open?” Sirius asked as he pulled away and wiped away the tears that had spilled down his cheeks.
“If it’ll make you feel better, sure.”
“It will.”
“Fine,” Regulus agreed as he walked down the hall to the bathroom. He shucked off his clothes and tossed them into the hamper. The hoodie and sweats were clean just a couple of hours ago, but he smelled so strongly of hospital and sanitizer that he deemed them dirty already. He would probably need to wash them multiple times before he’d be able to get the smell fully out of them and even then, he wasn’t sure that he wanted to see those particular clothes ever again.
He scrubbed at his skin, washing himself at least a half a dozen times before his skin turned pink and he decided that he smelled enough like his typical cedar and sea salt soap to be considered clean. His hair is next. The hospital-provided 3-in-1 product had caused his usual soft waves to matte and lay flat on his head, so he took his time scrubbing with his shampoo a few times. When he deemed his hair finally clean, he slathered more conditioner than he would typically ever use and gently detangled his curls with his fingers. With his hair smooth and his fingers pruned, he finally turned off the water and wrapped a towel around his waist.
He nearly tripped over Sirius sitting on the floor with his back against the wall as he stepped out of the bathroom. Sirius banged his head on the wall when he looked up at Regulus with a sheepish smile, one leg bent close to his body and the other outstretched across the narrow hallway. “Sorry, I was worried.”
“Are you gonna be like this the whole time?”
“At least for a few weeks,” he folded his arms and tucked both legs up towards his body then rested his cheek on his arms as he looked up at his younger brother. “I’m a bit clingy now, Moony has encouraged my bad behavior and I’m afraid you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.”
“You’re literally 28, you’re not old.”
Sirius barked a laugh and tucked his feet under himself so he could stand up. “You’re my favorite brother.”
“I’m your only brother,” Regulus deadpanned as he walked past Sirius to his bedroom so he could put on a fresh change of clothes.
When Sirius had started dating Remus, or Moony as he tended to call him, Regulus knew their parents wouldn’t be happy, but he hadn’t thought it would change the trajectory of all of their lives. Sirius had decided to show their parents, rather than tell them, about his new boyfriend by bringing him home for Sunday dinner. Growing up Catholic, Sundays were a day reserved for devotion to God and family. Sirius was in college, Regulus a senior in high school still living at home, and had told their parents that he had been seeing someone special for a few months. Their parents invited Sirius and “the lovely lady” for dinner and instead it was Remus who walked through the door with his fingers interlaced with Sirius’. That was the most tense and silent meal that had ever occurred at the Black household.
When Sirius had returned home for the summer, their parents gave him an ultimatum: conversion therapy or be disowned. Sirius had packed his bags that night.
Regulus hadn’t heard from Sirius for a few months after that. He got accepted into his first choice college and tried to distract himself with schoolwork. He avoided getting close with any of his classmates and did his best to make himself scarce when his dorm mate, Evan, was around. He’d go into a local cafe with his noise canceling headphones and bury himself in studying while drinking more coffee than was probably healthy. On one of those days, Sirius had plopped himself in the seat across from him and glowered. His hair was longer, half of it pulled away from his face in a messy bun, and he had a few tattoos visible on his neck, collarbone, and knuckles.
“Why haven’t you been answering my texts or calls?” Sirius had asked when Regulus wrenched his headphones away from his ears.
“The fuck? You’re the one not answering me.” Regulus had slammed his laptop shut and returned the glare that Sirius was giving him.
Turned out, their parents had blocked the brothers from being able to communicate. When Regulus had confronted them about it, they claimed it was for Regulus’ own good. They didn’t want their ‘only son to be influenced by sinners.’ At that, Regulus had laughed and said that he’d known he was gay since he was a child. He hadn’t spoken to his parents since. Their Uncle Alphard had taken pity on the brothers and helped them both to survive since being disowned.
“What movie do you want to watch?” Sirius yelled from outside his bedroom, pulling him from his thoughts.
“Do you really have to ask?” Regulus tugged his shirt on as he shouted back, annoyed at even being asked when Sirius already knew the answer.
He heard Sirius groan before he yelled back, “don’t you ever get sick of watching 10 Things I Hate About You ?”
“No, actually.” Regulus said flatly, walking into the living room to see Sirius sitting on the couch fiddling with the remote. “There’s something soothing about watching Patrick fuck up so royally and still win the girl at the end.”
“You need more therapy.”
“Obviously. Now put the movie on, I’ll make popcorn.”
***
In the morning, Regulus went through his morning routine and felt his nerves settle for the first time in weeks. The thing no one talked about when you’re hospitalized is how disrupted your everyday life is. Obviously, there’s the whole ‘in the hospital’ bit, but it was the little routines that calmed Regulus’ nerves. With his particular brand of mental illness, they always tried to disrupt his routines. Exposure therapy or something, they said. He thought it was bullshit.
And so he found comfort in waking up at exactly seven, stretching for fifteen minutes, brushing his teeth, showering, and being meticulous about his skincare and styling his hair. All of the little things that he had taken for granted in his daily life that suddenly became impossible to uphold when other people were checking in on him and watching his every move. He got dressed in an over-sized burgundy knit sweater and black trousers and grabbed his bag. Pulling out his headphones, he slipped them around his neck, then double checked that his laptop was safely inside and headed towards the living area towards the front door. Sirius was laying on the couch with blankets wrapped tightly around his body but surprisingly, was awake and staring at his phone.
“Didn’t think you’d be awake yet,” he said to Sirius as he grabbed his favorite black oxfords and slid them on.
Sirius grunted sleepily in response. “Didn’t get much sleep, if I’m honest. Your couch sucks.”
“You don’t have to stay,” Regulus said blandly. “I know they said I couldn’t be alone, but I’m fine—”
“Reggie, I’m staying.”
“You really don’t need to.”
“Me staying is the only reason you were allowed to leave, you know that. You were at that meeting.”
“Fine,” Regulus relented, knowing that arguing with Sirius was like arguing with a brick wall. “I’m going out, I’ll be gone for a few hours. Do you want coffee when I come back?”
“Are you going to Galactic Grounds?”
“I go there every day, Sirius. They’re the only place that makes good coffee around here.” Plus the guy who worked there was cute as hell, but Regulus refused to say that part out loud to his older brother. “Do you want coffee or not?”
“Yeah, I’d love coffee. Text me when you get there?”
“Sirius—”
“And when you’re headed home? I promise I’ll chill out in a few days, just humor me. Please?”
“Fine, bye.”
“Love you, Reggie.”
“Love you, Sirius.”
***
As he made his way into the cafe, Regulus pulled his headphones down to hang around his neck. The shop was generally pretty quiet, but the whirring of machines and general chatter were enough to make him flinch anyway. He stood in line, waiting as patiently as possible and mindlessly scrolling on his phone. When he looked up and glanced behind the counter, he saw the cute guy who always makes his coffee just right. James.
James looked up from the machine where he was steaming milk and fumbled the little metal pitcher. The smile on his face lit up the entire shop. “Reg, hey!” James seemingly abandoned the steaming milk to stare at him until the customer at the front of the line cleared their throat. James’ cheeks turned red from embarrassment as he apologized to the customer and then directed himself back at Regulus. “Can you stay so we can catch up?”
“Uh, yeah, sure. I’ll be here for a while. I’ve got a lot of work to catch up on.” He really didn’t. The novel he had been working on wasn’t exactly going anywhere. Besides, his and Sirius’ Uncle Alphard made sure that all of their needs were met, so ‘work’ wasn’t exactly a necessity. It was just something to keep himself busy and to take his mind off things. ‘Things’ mostly being coping with mental illness and childhood trauma, if he’s honest.
Regulus started to pull out his wallet to pay for the coffee when James stopped him. “Nah,” he said. “On the house. It’s just a black coffee, Reg.”
Regulus cringed a bit at feeling like he owed back a favor, but tried to shake the feeling. This was something they had worked on extensively in group therapy; sometimes people just wanted to do nice things for you. Let them. And so he thanked James, picked up the coffee, and brought it over to his usual table in the corner. He settled into the comfortable booth and pulled out his laptop, staring at the screen asking for his password while he processed the fact that James wanted to catch up with him. Catch up? They had never even had a conversation beyond simple pleasantries.
He moved to readjust his headphones over his ears when he noticed James throwing his apron on the rack near the bar and striding over to where he’s seated.
“Hey,” James said as he noisily pulled a chair out so he could sit. As he sat, he scooched himself in, the chair dragged and screeched the whole time. Regulus did his best not to make an expression at the sounds, but clearly his face betrayed him because James quickly apologized, his cheeks slightly pink.
“Hi,” Regulus tentatively replied. The rehearsed small talk and polite niceties are fine for transactional interactions, but sitting here with James staring at him? He felt exposed and unsure of himself. “So,” he tried. “What’s up?”
“Not much,” James grinned. “How about you? You usually come in daily and I haven’t seen you for weeks. Did you do anything fun? I missed seeing you.”
Regulus flinched at that. Of course sweet, wholesome James would immediately want to know what fun and exciting things he got up to while he was away. It would never even cross his mind that Regulus had disappeared because he tried to kill himself, jumping off a nearby bridge into the river. He’d been hospitalized for weeks. “No,” Regulus said in as level of a tone as he could manage. “I didn’t do anything fun, but I did do lots of crafts.”
“Oh, uh— Okay. That’s cool. I didn’t know you were crafty.”
“I’m not.”
James stared at him in confusion before laughing, bright and carefree. “Fuck, you’re funny Reg. I don’t even think you mean to be.”
“Look, I do have a lot of work to do—”
“Sorry, yeah. My break is almost over too, but I just wanted to… I know this isn’t professional or anything, and honestly I’ve been avoiding it because I know this is a weird dynamic where I make you the perfect coffee every day and you don’t wanna lose that in case it goes poorly, but I’ve been wanting to ask you out for a while and just— You not being around for a bit made me worried I wouldn’t get a chance to ask you again, so while I still have the guts, will you let me take you out sometime?”
“You want to go out on a date… with me?” Regulus had never heard anything more ridiculous in his life. This sunshine golden retriever of a man wanted to take him out on a date?
“I mean— Sorry if I read you wrong, if you’re not interested in guys, or uh… me, that’s cool. I’ll keep making your perfect coffee and no harm done. I just figured I’d shoot my shot, y’know?”
“I am— Interested. In guys.” Regulus paused for a moment, feeling awkward and unsure of himself. He hasn’t had anyone ask him out on a proper date before. Typically, he just went about things the old fashioned way: dating apps and swiping until he found a reasonable match. It never went well enough for a second date, but it never went poorly enough that it stopped him from the cycle either. When he looked at James, he realized that he hadn’t explained that he wanted to go on the date. “I’m interested in you too,” he quickly added. “I’ve always thought you were cute, I just didn’t want to make you uncomfortable at work.”
James beamed then handed him his phone. “Can you enter your number? I’ll text you and we can make more concrete plans?”
At first, Regulus was shocked by the casualness at which James just… handed him his phone. Then he realized that James probably never had parents who pried or jealous ex boyfriends who demanded to read every text exchange. He entered his phone number in a new text and texted himself the star emoji so that he had James’ number too and handed back his phone.
James glanced at his phone and then asked, “Why the star emoji?”
“For my name.”
James stared at him in confusion, but as he opened his mouth to ask he heard his co-worker calling out for him to come back from his break. “Fuck, I’m late. Sorry—”
“Go, James.”
“Yeah, I’ll text you later okay?”
“Okay.” Regulus smiled softly as he watched James stand up from the chair across from him and rush back to his place behind the bar. He swore under his breath as he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, knowing that it was probably Sirius freaking out even though they’ve shared their locations for years now. Fishing out his phone, he rolled his eyes as he read the text.
[Sirius]: i know you’re at galactic
[Regulus]: then you really didn’t need me to text you when i got here did you?
[Sirius]: whatever.
[Sirius]: don’t stay too long, you have therapy later
[Sirius]: and remember to bring me back coffee
[Sirius]: why don’t you have a coffee maker at your apartment anyway?
[Regulus]: i literally come here every day, i don’t need a coffee maker when i pay for it to be made for me
[Sirius]: spoiled brat
[Regulus]: whatever, i’ll be back in an hour with coffee in hand
[Sirius]: you’re my favorite brother
[Regulus]: still your only brother
Regulus pulled his headphones over his ears and hit play on his favorite writing playlist before he placed his phone face down on the table. He typed in the password on his laptop and opened the file for his novel and just… stared at it. He pretended to read it while he sipped his coffee, but all thoughts in his head circled back to James. After about fifteen minutes, his cup was empty and he had written absolutely nothing. He gingerly closed his laptop and packed it away, deciding that his time would be better spent at home than trying to pretend that he wasn’t staring at James every chance he found.
He went up to the counter and pulled his headphones off when James came over with a questioning look. “Are you done working already?” he asked.
“Couldn’t focus,” Regulus answered softly. “Can I get another coffee to go, but with cream and sugar?”
“Have you decided that you finally have taste buds?” James joked as he began making the coffee.
“Very funny,” Regulus snarked back. “No, my brother is staying with me for a bit, so I’m bringing this back for him.”
“Oh that’s nice, is he visiting from out of town?” James placed the coffee on the counter in front of him.
Regulus hoped that his flinch wasn't noticeable. He didn’t know why he couldn’t seem to have a filter around James. Usually, he’d avoid giving any details of his life to anyone. The less they knew, the easier interactions were. The less they knew, the less he had to work to figure out how to phrase things so no one suspects anything was wrong with him. “No, he lives nearby. He’s just staying at my place for a few weeks.”
“You two must be close then,” James said.
Regulus wasn’t sure if he was supposed to answer that, so he shrugged vaguely before he placed enough cash on the counter to cover both this and his own coffee from earlier, plus a generous tip. “See you tomorrow,” he shot over his shoulder as he headed out the door.
***
“You’re back earlier than I expected,” Sirius said when he came in the door. Regulus kicked off his shoes and padded his way into the living room where Sirius was still lounging on the couch, exactly where he left him. He handed him the coffee and sat on the couch next to him, shoving his legs out of the way to make room. “You told me you’d text me when you were on your way back.”
“I mean, I really didn’t.” Regulus groaned as he leaned back into the sofa and stared at the ceiling. “You coerced me with guilt to agree to text you against my will.”
“What else are brothers for if not to guilt each other?” Sirius asked as he took a sip of the coffee and practically moaned into the cup. “Fuck, that place makes the best coffee.”
“James,” Regulus said towards the ceiling.
“Huh?”
“James makes the best coffee. He gave me his number today.”
“Oh shit, is that the cute guy with the glasses?”
“Aren’t you happily committed to Remus?”
“That doesn’t mean I don’t have eyes,” Sirius said. “Are you gonna go on a date with him?”
“Do you really think I should?” Regulus asked. “I don’t exactly have my shit together, what with just trying to kill myself and all.”
“Who cares? If he’s the right guy, he won’t care if you have your shit together.” Sirius answered. “I’ve never had my shit together and Remus still loves me. It’s worth a shot.”
Before Regulus could answer, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. Sirius put his coffee down and stared at him expectantly.
“What?”
“Aren’t you gonna check your phone?”
“I—”
Regulus never got to finish his sentence because Sirius threw himself at him, shoving a hand into his pocket and fishing out his phone.
“Fuck off,” Regulus snapped as he tried to grab his phone out of Sirius’ hand, but Sirius dangled the phone just out of reach.
“It’s James, ” Sirius sing-songs.
“Give it back, I’m serious,” Regulus realized his mistake in word choice before Sirius got a chance to bark a laugh. “Don’t even, just give me my fucking phone.”
“Reggie, you won’t let me read your texts with James and you won’t let me make my favorite, very funny, and not at all overused, joke.” Sirius gave him a mock pout. “Do you even love me?”
“There’s not even anything to read,” Regulus said as he practically climbed on top of Sirius to grab his phone. He looked at the screen and rolled his eyes. “He literally just texted ‘hi, it’s James.’ Was that really worth wrestling over?”
Sirius shrugged. “It was fun all the same.”
“You’re impossible.”
Regulus felt his phone vibrate again and he quickly glanced down to read the message on his home screen without unlocking his phone.
[James]: tell me what the star means
“How long should I wait to reply to him, do you think?”
“Huh?”
“What’s the appropriate amount of time to wait to reply to a text?” Regulus rephrased his question, looking at his brother expectantly.
“Reggie,” Sirius’ voice softened. “If you like him, you should just answer him. You don’t have to play games like that.”
“I don’t—” Regulus let out a breath. “I don’t want to seem desperate. Or clingy.”
“Replying to a double text from a guy who’s clearly interested in you isn’t going to come off as desperate, it’ll just let him know you’re on the same page. Besides, as soon as you open that he’s gonna see the read receipt.”
Regulus wasn’t sure that his brother was right, but he decided that if James was already texting him, then he could text him back. He pulled out his phone and opened the texts between them before he overthought what he was going to say.
“You know,” Sirius said, interrupting Regulus’ thoughts. “He’s probably freaking out just as much as you are, if that makes you feel any better.”
“Fuck off,” Regulus shoved at his brother. “You know no one freaks out more than I do, that’s just mean.” He stood up and paced around the living room while Sirius watched him with a smirk. When he had sent the star emoji earlier, he had intended for it to come off as mysterious and cool, but now he just felt dumb.
[Regulus]: my full name is regulus, like the star
He shot off the text before he could think about it anymore, knowing that no matter what he wasn’t going to feel good about how he phrased an answer to James’ question. Before he had even locked his phone again, James had texted him back.
“I told you he was interested,” Sirius said as he pulled the blankets around himself again and settled back into the couch.
[James]: that explains the gravitational pull I feel towards you
Regulus rolled his eyes. Of course James would be the type to come up with something that cheesy.
[Regulus]: and that is exactly why I always introduce myself as reg
[James]: sorry, couldn’t resist
[James]: will you still go on a date with me? :(
[Regulus]: only if you promise to never use another star themed pick up line again
[James]: pinky promise
“Oh my fucking god,” Sirius said. His voice pulled Regulus out of his head and made him realize that he was literally just standing in the middle of his living room, staring at his phone, and smiling. “You’re fucking giddy over this guy. I mean, look at you. You’re practically blushing! I knew he was cute, but Regulus Arcturus Black, do you have a real, honest to God, crush?”
“I hate you,” Regulus said with less conviction than intended. He flipped his brother off and went to his bedroom, leaving the door open to avoid Sirius having a total meltdown. He plopped onto the bed and opened his phone, seeing another string of texts from James.
[James]: does tomorrow night work for you?
[James]: also, do you like Italian food?
[James]: I could pick you up at 7
[Regulus]: italian at 7 tomorrow sounds perfect
He wondered if he should really be giving James his address, normally he would meet up with guys at a neutral location before going to their place. He really didn’t like having guys come to his apartment, not just because of the whole safety aspect of things, but also he hated the idea of someone snooping around his things or putting things back where they don’t belong. Everything in his home was meticulously placed and organized. Even placing something back in the fridge with the label turned around was enough to set him off some days. He decided that he could decide whether or not to send James his address after therapy today and put his phone on do not disturb so he wouldn’t know if James asked before then.
The rest of the day passed uneventfully before therapy. He and Sirius had a boring lunch of sandwiches since neither of them knew how to cook a proper meal, then they tidied up the apartment a bit. Really, Regulus cleaned and organized meticulously while Sirius sat on the couch texting Remus, but Regulus decided that was for the best. Sirius staying out of his way was more helpful than him actually helping.
When it was time to leave for therapy, Sirius gave him a ride instead of letting him walk. He only convinced Regulus to let him drive him there and back because sure, the walk there would be fine, but wouldn’t the walk home with a puffy face from crying be worse than a walk of shame at 8am? Regulus really couldn’t argue with that.
Regulus had been to plenty of therapists before. Being a gay son in a Catholic household tended to lend itself pretty well to the whole ‘needing therapy’ thing. He hadn’t been to therapy for a few years before his attempt though, preferring to bury his feelings with things like substances and one night stands, and so the hospital prescribed him twice weekly sessions. One with this new therapist, Horace Slughorn, and one with a group. When the hospital had assigned him to his therapist, he honestly thought the name was a joke. Who the fuck would name their child Horace and why would they hold onto a surname like Slughorn when there was the option to legally change your name to… anything else? But then he remembered that his entire family had named their children after stars and decided to keep all thoughts of criticism to himself.
Walking into Slughorn’s office, the office receptionist made him fill out a ridiculously long questionnaire asking him pointless questions like ‘in the last 2 weeks have you felt hopeless or like life has no meaning?’ Obviously yes, he wouldn’t have been prescribed mandatory therapy if he hadn’t jumped off a fucking bridge, but fine. He answered all the questions and brought the iPad back to the receptionist, then waited. And waited. And waited some more. He checked the time on his phone and realized that Horace was over a half an hour late for his appointment. Great. Not only was he going to have to endure appointments every week, but this therapist was wasting even more of his time by not starting promptly. He already hated him.
When he was called into the office, he sat on a saggy couch and continued to wait until a portly man with a bald head strolled into the room without a care in the world. He sat down and smiled weakly at Regulus and Regulus decided that he hated this man even more than before. Who comes into an appointment nearly three quarters of an hour late and doesn’t even apologize?
“My name is Horace, it’s nice to meet you,” he said as he pulled out a notebook and pen. He looked at Regulus expectantly. Regulus assumed that he was met with sheer disgust based on how his face blanched.
“If you’re going to be late to every appointment, we might as well not even exchange pleasantries. My time is valuable and I don’t tolerate disrespect.”
Slughorn wrote something in his notebook as he grimaced. “Unfortunately, I’m the only therapist with openings in this practice currently, and seeing as you were recently hospitalized, I’m afraid you don’t exactly have the bargaining power here, Mr. Black. Now, do you want to tell me what led to your recent hospitalization?”
“I jumped off a bridge. Surely, you read my chart before I arrived.”
“I did, but I’d much prefer to hear your story from you directly.”
“That’s about it, Horace.”
Therapy continued as expected. Horace pushed for more details and Regulus made him feel as though he were talking to a brick wall. When their session was done, Regulus stopped by the front desk and told the receptionist he would not be returning.
“I— Can I give you a recommendation on where to find better care?” She seemed kind-hearted and so Regulus agreed to take the card she offered for another office nearby without a fight. When he got in the car, dry-eyed and irritated, Sirius laughed.
“That good, huh?”
“Don’t get me started,” Regulus sighed. “Can we get Chinese food? I need to eat so many crab rangoons I forget what that guy’s face looked like.”
“Yeah,” Sirius answered. “Can Moony come? I’m codependent and I miss him.”
“You should go to therapy for that,” Regulus joked before agreeing. Truthfully, he liked Remus. He might have even considered him a friend if he allowed himself to get close enough to the guy. He placed the order for their Chinese food before he turned his phone off ‘do not disturb’. When he looked at his notifications, he saw a handful of texts from James.
[James]: what’s your address?
[James]: sorry, not trying to be weird, just want to pick you up like a proper date
[James]: you can give me a fake address to meet you at if you want
[James]: or we can meet at the restaurant if you’d prefer
“Okay, maybe you were right,” Regulus said to his brother while they waited for Remus to come out to the car.
Sirius mock gasped and clutched at the collar of his shirt. “Did Regulus Black just admit that I, Sirius Black, was right? ”
Of course, at that moment was when Remus got in the back seat of the car and looked between the two brothers. “I leave him with you for one day and his ego is already inflated.”
“Moony,” Sirius twisted himself towards the back seat and planted a quick kiss on Remus’ lips. “Reggie just said I was right, can you believe it?” He pulled his phone out of his coat pocket and took a selfie with Regulus scowling in the background. “I’m gonna frame this.”
“Hey Reg,” Remus said. Regulus noticed that he was careful not to ask how he was. In fact, Remus acted like everything about Sirius staying with his brother, bringing him to and from appointments and getting Chinese takeout all together, instead of being at home with his boyfriend was completely normal.
“Hey,” Regulus replied.
“So,” Remus questioned as Sirius began driving towards their favorite Chinese takeaway spot. “What was Sirius right about?”
“Ugh,” Regulus groaned. “This guy at the cafe I like asked me on a date today, so I gave him my number. He’s been texting me trying to plan the date and Sirius said that he was probably overthinking just as much as I was. I didn’t believe him until this guy literally sent me four texts freaking out about how he asked for my address.”
Remus raised an eyebrow at that. “Lemme see.”
Regulus handed him his phone and waited while Remus read the texts.
“Okay, so the gravitational pull pickup line was smooth. But yeah, don’t leave this poor guy on read any longer, Reg. Answer the man.” Remus handed his phone back.
“What pickup line?” Sirius asked as he pulled into the parking lot.
“Oh, it was good,” Remus laughed. “Said that being named after a star explained the gravitational pull he felt towards him. Should have used that one myself.”
Sirius laughed so hard at that, he had to wipe away a few tears from his eyes. “Please, Reggie, you’re gonna eat him up. That’s so sweet.”
Regulus crossed his arms and glared at his brother. “Maybe I like sweet.”
“Since when?” Sirius and Remus asked in unison, the former sounding shocked.
“Since I felt like killing myself, I guess. Gotta change something, right?” At that, Regulus got out of the car and headed into the restaurant to grab their giant bag of food. When he came back, the car was eerily silent.
“Reggie,” Sirius said solemnly as he pulled out of the parking lot. “You promised no suicide jokes for at least a week.”
“Oh, come on,” Regulus groaned as he tilted his head back into the headrest of the seat. “That was hardly a joke.”
“Reg…” Remus started.
“Fine,” Regulus interrupted, his voice cold and cruel. “Sorry, I’ll keep the jokes about what happened to me to myself.”
“It– It didn’t happen to you, Reggie,” Sirius muttered. “You did it to yourself. And to us. We all have to live with the decisions you make too.”
“Sorry,” Regulus said, softening his tone. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“It’s okay, Reggie. I forgive you. I’ll always forgive you. Let’s just try to have a nice night, yeah?”
The car ride home was much more subdued than the ride to the Chinese restaurant was. Regulus took the lull in conversation to shoot James a text with his address and an apology for taking so long to reply. James replied immediately.
[James]: i can’t wait!
[James]: sorry for being a chronic over texter
[James]: it will happen again
When they arrived at Regulus’ apartment, they put on a mind-numbing movie and sat around the living room eating greasy food and laughing at stupid jokes. Regulus wished he could have had a glass or two of wine, but part of his discharge instructions was to stay sober for at least a month while he continued to adjust to his medications and life outside of the hospital. Regulus ended up fishing out the air mattress from the closet so Remus could crash in the living room with Sirius and they all fell into their bedtime routines.
When he was finally alone in bed, Regulus read over the texts from James again. He had never felt so excited to go on a date with someone before. He thought to himself, though he’d never admit it out loud, that maybe it was for the best that he hadn’t died in that river after all.
#evan rosier#wip#marauders fanfiction#dead gay wizards#regulus being regulus#regulus black#regulus and evan’s friendship is everything to me and i don’t see it often enough in fics#jegulus fanfiction#rosekiller
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sometimes i think about my professor that used to like lowkey have a crush on me (he was at least 55.) last semester and every time i tell my friends about the stuff he did towards me i realize how u incredibly not normal that was
#🎀 - mello talks too much#OKAY NOTHING TOO BAD DONT WORRY#he asked me to take him to the airport one time and drive his car back to his house#he also would stand next to me during tests and just like watch me#like i’m not exaggerating#just WATCH me#at the desk next to me#and then he told me i smelled really good#and then he tried to give me a multitude of answers during the test#and then when i was sitting with my friend he like literally sat on the table i was at and starting talking to me like we are friends#and then he would be like ”he mello TEXT me and remind me to send out homework” like hello?? i’m not texting you??#and one time when i got my haircut he announced to everyone in my lab how he noticed n how good it looked#and NOW i see him sometimes and he steps on my foot and always says hi to me im in front of everyone#and he is so loud#so everyone in my bio class looks at me#also he zipped up my backpack for me like 2 days ago#which doesn’t sound weird but paired with everything else he did#AND THEN he asked for me to come to his field trip with his ecology class#which like#????#what#and he calls me smart like all the time#yeah#he was a strange guy#still see him which is insane#i am totally forgetting more this#things
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it is literally not about legality, if you’re in your late 30s literally what are you hitting up 21 y/os for. Don’t you have investments to make.
#Astonishing number of people will jump on the ‘but it’s technically legal!’ defence#But will not answer my question of whyyyyyy. If your date sounds like PTA night and you need to parent your girlfriend#you have an age gap! And! You are the lamest loser on earth; that is fact; hope this helps!!#(Okay. Lowkey? I shouldn’t be thinking about this STILL. Given it’s been like a MONTH since#But I feel a lil let down and betrayed and I think I’m still kinda processing that… but I#I confided in my bestestest friend that an older man was creeping on me. And I expected her to have my back 100%#And idk— I think she’s just had worse experiences with men and has a higher tolerance to bad behaviour than I an asexual person do#But her response was along the lines of ‘you’re an adult; there’s no problem with it really;#can’t blame him for shooting his shot; it’s not really a weird age gap’#And worst of all— ‘maybe he just has an age kink; maybe he gets off on you being younger’#I have to say. I don’t care. The point is that I discouraged it several times and was getting increasingly uncomfortable with it#I feel like in that situation the thing to do is side with me especially when I’m telling you all this.#And like. Sigh i don’t know. I still love her with all my heart but it’s feeling a lil awkward rn#I’m still thinking about that and obviously I don’t want it to ruin the best friendship I’ve ever had#But it’s feeling a little forced right now. I expected her to have my back and for some reason her brushing this aside did make me#Feel completely invalidated and like I should just stop feeling weirded out and man up and discourage this man in words—#When the thing is there was NEVER any hint of interest. I don’t feel like I should have to dignify his behaviour in terms of interest or#Attraction. Because! I just don’t think you should be that forward with strangers repeatedly!! and if I think that’s weird then I’m sorry i#It won’t work with me! I don’t like it! I think that’s grounds enough to stop oh my god.#I’ll be seeing my bestie in a couple of weeks. Flying all the way out to England for her. I don’t want this to be awkward…#but something in me is just a lil heartbroken. Like I feel the girlcode was broken. We’ve always told each other#Not to let men affect our self worth or alter our boundaries. I feel like that was violated.#(ik she said that bc her bf at the time was 30 but like. Listen to my individual situation no? This one wasn’t about you I came for advice)#Rant
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There is like 20 of us ^_^’
I always forget how many of my friends on here are systems. It's sort of funny to me because they've got a lot of different people in there [all of which are cool] and for me it's just Donnie up here full time
#the orange’s rebagels#the purple one [truth]#the blue one [star child]#Oopsie yeah smtines late responses cuz im#Not currently inhabiting a body#Okay that sounds weird I’m not saying it like that#Fun fact we’re over 25% TMNT fictives#Sigh#RBing on Mikey’s acc bcs I have no idea who’s fronting!!
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🗿
My sis and I used to talk about this sometimes if I’m being honest. I never went around calling nb ppl slurs but I know that if you did as a black person, the first thing that nbs would do is look at you like you’re crazy or feign ignorance when you point out the contradiction of them thinking that it’s okay to casually throw around slurs at black people because they believe it to be so funny, term of endearment or whatever tf.
#my sister told me that she called this Hispanic dude at one of her jobs a slur because he kept on saying nigga casually and then she#hit him with the ‘it doesn’t feel too good huh?’ and of course the nb tried to explain why he said nigga 😵💫#it’s weird because they all do this just because one of two black ppl let them get too comfortable#you should never feel comfortable enough to call people slurs as a term of endearment when you don’t have the right to reclaim that word#as a nb…. it’s weird#why can’t I just go around calling nbs slurs from their perspective ethnic group#you see how crazy that even sounds right? so why do sm of them think that it’s okay to say nigga#like that Asian boys who’s been going viral going on about how it’s hard not to say nigga#can barely even speak English but that’s the word you’d rather die than avoid saying because it’s ‘cool’ and#a ‘gamer word-‘ or whatever tf#it’s too late for this but man annaj#I was working on that stsg zine too I’m late as ever#rambling#slurs
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Me seeing someone with a cool name: oooooo, what if
Another part of my brain: no. we spent enough time getting to Jonah. we’re not doing it again
#occasionally I get the urge to just hoard names#I think it would be neat#but also like how would I even tell people that#like here’s a list of random ass names that I think sound kind of cool don’t even know if I like them for myself yet#also sometimes it’s a name that’s typically a girls name and if I went hey I kind of like this name I feel like I would end up getting#misgendered and I don’t want to deal with that#it’s so funny because I’ve always wanted to change my name and I wonder how much of that was trans stuff and how much was I just like other#names#like honestly there are points where boneworms feels like more of my name than Jonah#whatever that says about me#I think I got off the point but whatever it’s almost two am#j rambles#coming back to this to rant more in the tags#so like the current names I’m rotating in my head are Silas (not my favorite of the three and I already have a character named this but#still it’s cool) also Sylvester specifically to be called the nickname syl#and nova which I know is a more feminine name but also presenting masculinly with a feminine name would be very gender#love having a weird gender but I feel like other people would be weird about it in a bad way#it’s not like a don’t like Jonah but I think I’ve gotten too used to it if that makes sense#like yeah it’s my name but it’s not as fun anymore#I’m back again#silver is also a cool name#I should really go to bed instead of just adding to the notes of this post#wait wait wait wait#sylver#okay I’m done now#probably
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hi so i just finished bridge to terabithia and now i’m unwell and my eyes are red because i’ve been crying before i’d even reached 20 minutes of it for i actually knew what was going to happen and by the time i reached an hour something something i just straight up sobbing screaming into my pillow. and now it’s 12 am and i’m still thinking about them. because god, look at them, how they were, the little world they lived in, wouldn’t you just love that, to run away, to escape, to grasp that childhood naivety and innocence that you lost a long time ago, to feel the sun in your skin and the air in your lungs and to paint fantasies and laugh and play and run hidden away from the world and find an old run down tree house and decided to make it your own little shelter and pin up canvases on the worn wood and paint and let your creativity goes wild and have someone understand you and gets you and do it with you, and wouldn’t you just love to have something so constant, so sincere, so genuine, so pure, so real, that there wasn’t anything else. if i knew i was going to cry this much, if i knew how much space this movie would make in my life, i wouldn’t have started this movie tonight. i would have been in peace on the floor of my room, not realizing how badly i actually want something like this even though i would never unironically admit this to anyone in my life or even myself when i’m outside of the familiar place of my mind, for that matters
#bridge to terabithia#how am i supposed to recover#i wasn’t planning to write a paragraph about it but yeah i kinda love this movie i guess#i needed a good cry and the universe didn’t stop me from choosing this movie i don’t know if that’s nice or simply mean#i was going to watch la la land after this but that’s not gonna happen now#i’m not reading back what i wrote otherwise i would just delete it because i’d think this movie deserves better more coherent thoughts#and i’d say that i’d just rewrite it tomorrow but then i wouldn’t#because nothing would ever beat the “everything i create has to be great or nothing” in me#and i never am proud of what i made unless it’s supposedly only for my viewing#so i actually don’t know if what i just wrote make sense but yeah#my eyes feel so weird right now#also the ending was definitely up to interpretations!! (spoiler alert* just in case)#i myself personally like to believe he dreamed up the last 30 minutes of it and didn’t even go to the museum#and so he’ll just wake up definitely shocked but then still find leslie in her house who was just about to meet him so they could go!!#and because the rope was cut off by the lightning from last night they decide to build the bridge so everyone could cross safe and sound!!#i like my ending better they really should change it#but no all and all the end was really beautiful#even though it took me maybe even an hour to get through it because i keep sobbing and have to repeat over and over to hear what they said#yeah okay anyways sorry for the rant<3#i’m not sure what this is#but glad i could get it off my chest#let’s see how to tag how to tag#movies#just#childhood#whatever <3#nadirants
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