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moonstruckme · 2 days ago
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HI MAE so i didnt send the shy remus x reader ask but i saw that u wanted ideas and i had one. what about reader who's very cocky and like confident and stuff and remus is intimidated by her usually but then theyre at a party or smth and shes all drunk and shes all over him telling him stuff like how shes got the biggest crush on him or like how hes genuinely one of the most attractive people shes ever met and shy remus is js like �� while also taking care of her bc shes so drunk and simultaneously trying not to combust
Hi my love, thank you so much for your request!
cw: alcohol
shy!Remus x fem!reader ♡ 1.1k words
Really, it should be Sirius’ responsibility to look after you. It is his party, after all. But Sirius has a love for delegating unwanted tasks and also a love for meddling (which Remus theorizes he got at least partly from James). So, naturally, you’re in Remus’ lap. 
“You guys are so nice,” you croon, words strung together like cursive and fingers toying with a loose thread of Remus’ sweater. He’s resigned himself to letting you unravel the whole thing without complaint. “All of you, all your friends are the nicest…the warmest people I ever knew. How’d you do that?” 
Remus smiles down at you. “I think James has always been good at bringing out the best in people.” 
He’s not entirely sure how you came to be lying on your back on the couch, your head on Remus’ thigh and your hands reaching for the dangling thread above you like a cat enjoying some lazy play. If he asked you, Remus doesn’t think you’d know, either. It makes a lovely view for him, your eyes uptilted in his direction and features relaxed and unguarded as a result of the series of tequila shots Sirius had cajoled you into not realizing you’d already had a few drinks. Remus very much enjoys having you this close and being able to look at you so casually, even if your brassy, larger-than-life demeanor often terrifies as much as impresses him. Even if your head on his thigh makes his face feel like a fire hazard. 
“Don’t think he had to work very hard with you. You’re such a sweetheart already.” You say it so simply, an obvious truth, and Remus finds himself staying perfectly still like a rabbit in the woods that thinks it might yet escape your notice. His heartbeat pitters in everywhere from his cheeks to his fingertips. He worries he’s going to have to make a response, but your eyes widen suddenly. “Oh! Sit still.” 
No problems there. Remus moves only his eyes as you sit up from his lap, tucking your feet underneath you and reaching for him with your lip trapped between your teeth in concentration. You touch a fingertip to his cheek and smile victoriously. 
“Got it.” You turn your finger, showing him. “You had an eyelash.” You blow it off your fingertip and onto Sirius’ rug. Remus marvels at the unthinking loveliness of you. “Have I talked to you about your eyes before?” you ask conversationally. 
Remus blinks, ceasing his tracking of the eyelash to look at you. “I don’t think so,” he ventures, though he knows you haven’t. He remembers most exchanges you’ve had, and he definitely would have remembered that. 
“Oh.” Your brows purse softly. “Must’ve been with someone else,” you murmur, almost to yourself. “Anyway, it’s important to me that you know, they’re really beautiful.” 
Remus startles, partly at the compliment but mostly at the touch you lay on his cheek, your fingers cool and gentle, like you’re steadying his face for your perusal. You look into his eyes attentively. 
“They’re brown,” Remus says in a soft voice. 
Your lips tilt like he’s said something funny. “Nobody’s eyes are just brown, Remus. There are so many different kinds.” Your index finger draws a short line across his cheekbone. Remus can’t tell you mean for it to or not. “Yours are sort of like a…like a gradient. They get lighter farther down.” 
Remus decides to study your eyes as you study his, and he sees what you mean. The shadow of your lashes makes your irises look darker at the tops. It’s difficult to tell, though, with your pupils eclipsing so much of them. 
“They’re, like, a warmish brown,” you’re saying, gaze unwavering. “Like the color you want your tea to be. You know, there’s some fact or study or something that says brown eyes make people feel safe. Did you know that?” 
“I didn’t,” Remus says. The weight of your attention is taking its toll on him, his body aching to sink into the couch cushions. He wants to ask if brown eyes have that effect on you, but he doesn’t have the nerve. “Is that so?” he asks instead.
You shrug. “I dunno. Works on me.” 
The breath stalls in Remus’ lungs. You’re looking at him like you haven’t said anything out of the ordinary, expression wide open and somewhat unfocused. 
You yawn, removing your hand from his face to half cover your mouth. It’s an awfully endearing show, and over too fast. “I guess that’s probably why—” You cut yourself off with a hiccup. Your eyes flare like you weren’t expecting it, hand jumping back up in front of your mouth. Remus grins before he can stop himself. 
“Oh.” Your smile is an afterthought, a response to his. “Sorry.” 
“It’s okay.” Remus isn’t even certain what you’re apologizing for. 
Your eyes have that sweet, attentive look again. “I really like when you smile.” 
Remus feels heat spread up to the tips of his ears. It’s official. He’s got more in common with a live flame than a human anymore. “What were you saying?” he prompts. 
You bite your lip as though you’ve forgotten. “Oh!” Your eyes light. “Just, I guess that’s probably why I have such a giant crush on you.” 
Remus’ heart thuds. He breathes, “What?” 
“Yeah.” You roll your eyes, grinning at yourself. “It’s relentless.” Hiccup. “Super embarrassing. But—but you’ve got those eyes, and your freckles, and that sweetheart face…” You shrug again, helpless. Ride out another hiccup. “What am I supposed to do?” 
Remus stares at you. It seems impossible. You have a crush on him? It’s out of the natural order. The world’s gone to chaos. It’s supposed to be the other way around! Remus pines silently after you, you eventually find some big, cocksure bloke who can match you, and Remus continues to pine whilst you go on with your brilliant, dazzling life. That’s the way it’s meant to be. 
“I would…” Remus finds his mouth forming around words he doesn’t recognize until they come out. “I’d know a thing or two about a crush like that.” 
Your lips part, but you don’t look offended. “Well, yeah. I’d hope you knew I fancied you, I’ve only been seeking you out ever since we met.” 
Not what he meant. Remus did not, in fact, know that. 
“I didn’t notice you were,” he admits. 
Your head tilts. “Really?” There’s an obvious follow up question—then what did you mean just now?—but for one reason or another, you don’t ask it. You only lean onto his shoulder, your head slipping a few inches down his arm.
Remus channels all his bravery into an arm around your waist to keep you from slumping further. He vows to himself to tell you tomorrow.
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maysileeewrites · 3 days ago
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distracted
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Robb Stark x fem! Reader || 18+, MDNI! 
Synopsis: „How am I supposed to sit here, planning a war, when you’re over there, looking like that?�� 
c.w.: smut!! (seriously, this is really just smut with barely any plot) - piv, unprotected sex, hints of praise kink, breeding kink (never thought I’d ever tag one of my fics like that, but here we are, the things Robb Stark gets me to write …); established relationship, wife!reader 
w.c.: 1.7k || masterlist
AN: more plot-heavier Robb fics are coming soon, but I just had to write this purely self-indulgent smut fic first ... Hope you enjoy!
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Usually, you’d describe yourself as a fairly patient person. 
Usually. 
However, there are certain situations in which you tend to be the complete opposite of patient - like tonight, for example. 
In your defense, you’ve been waiting for Robb to join you in bed for quite some time now. And you know that he’s not keeping you waiting to spite you - by the seven, you know that he’s got a war to plan, and thinking about that gets you frustrated even more with your own impatience tonight -, you know what’s keeping him so preoccupied, know how important that is, but somehow, you can’t help it.
Not when Robb is right there, sitting at the table in your tent, several maps spread out on the table around him, tousled curls falling into his face, wearing nothing but a thin robe that’s already started to slip off his shoulders, revealing the planes of his broad, muscular chest. 
You can’t help the soft sigh, full of yearning that escapes you then - finally earning you Robb’s attention. 
When he looks over at you, his eyes visibly widen. Suddenly, you feel your cheeks burning up and fight the urge to grab the thick fur covers lying next to you to cover up your naked body. 
You’ve been lying here in bed, waiting, for what feels like an eternity now, and with the thick furs covering you and the warm fire crackling a few feet away from you, you’d started feeling incredibly hot under the thick covers, so you’d thrown them aside. Purely for the sake of not feeling like you’re being roasted alive anymore, of course. 
Though you can’t deny that Robb’s reaction to seeing you like this is even better than the sensation of relief that washed over you after you’d thrown the blankets aside. 
He bites down on his lips, and you can see him clenching his fists. It’s too bad that the table is blocking the lower half of his body from your view - 
Just then, Robb groans, the sound low and intense. 
Suddenly, you feel even hotter than when you’d still been under the covers. 
Robb shakes his head at you, his eyes hungrily taking in your naked form. „How am I supposed to sit here, planning a war, when you’re over there, looking like that?“ 
At Robb’s words, you bite down hard on your lip, feeling your cheeks burn up. You can’t help it. 
Sometimes, when you’re together with Robb, you still feel like a maiden, young and innocent, as if you and Robb haven’t been married for some time now. 
As if he didn’t already touch you in ways that have desire pooling between your legs, just thinking about them. 
As if he didn’t already say things to you that turned your entire body to jelly in his arms. 
Thinking about that night a few days ago, when he was moving inside you, one arm slung across your stomach, pressing your back to his broad chest, while he took you from behind, his other hand drawing teasing circles over your clit, causes an all too-familiar, bittersweet ache to settle between your legs. Especially when you recall the words he whispered into your ear right after you’d reached your peak. 
That’s it, don’t hold back. Come for me. Going to fill you up- 
„What, already speechless?“ 
Robb’s teasing words draw you out of your thoughts and when you look up, you see how his eyes have darkened with desire. He’s still sitting at the table, still clenching his fists, and suddenly, an idea enters your lust-filled mind. 
Oh, you’ll show him speechless. 
Smirking, you get up from your bed and slowly walk over towards Robb, taking your sweet time with every step you take, enjoying the way Robb seems completely transfixed by you. 
You come to stand in front of him, just looking at him for a moment - his pupils have widened and his breathing has grown quite shallow -, before reaching out towards him and teasingly running a hand across his bare chest. 
Robb’s breath actually hitches. 
You smirk. „What, speechless already?“, you taunt, throwing his earlier words back at you. 
Robb’s eyes widen, but you don’t give him the chance to say anything. Still smirking, you sit down on his lap, laying your free hand on Robb’s shoulder to steady yourself. 
Robb groans and you have to close your eyes for a moment. Not just because you love eliciting these kinds of sounds from Robb, but also because the friction is almost too much to bear for you as well. There’s nothing more than Robb’s thin robe between your aching core and Robb’s stiff, erect member and if you grind yourself against Robb-
Just then, Robb’s hands settle on your waist, mercilessly keeping you in place. You want to protest, you really do, but when you feel Robb’s lips grazing over the sensitive skin of your neck, forming any coherent thought suddenly feels impossible. 
Robb seems to sense this as well, because he chuckles quietly, before his lips start trailing lower, down from your neck to your collarbone, to your breasts. 
Your breath hitches, and even though you can’t see it, you’re pretty sure that there’s a triumphant spark in Robb’s eyes right now. He loves to tease you. In fact, you think that he enjoys it just a little too much. 
Not that you particularly mind, though. How could you, when Robb’s teeth grazing over the sensitive skin of your bosom feels so heavenly? His hands are still keeping you in place, but his grip on you has loosened. 
When you try to shift forward this time, there’s no protesting from Robb. Instead, the only reaction he shows is a low, deep groan, before his lips close around one of your nipples. 
A sigh escapes you, morphing into a groan, when Robb starts flicking his tongue over your nipple, while suddenly tightening his grip on you again, only this time it’s to re-position you in his lap. Now, he has you even closer to him and when you feel his stiff cock at your entrance, a breathless, desperate whine escapes you. 
„Robb“, you breathe out, one of your hands moving up from his shoulders to tangle in his auburn curls, tugging at them the way you know always drives him crazy. 
Finally, he looks up at you. 
And by the seven, the image of him with his head between your breasts, his lips still wrapped around one of your nipples, looking up at you with a deep, dark yearning in his eyes is enough to get you clenching around nothing. 
„Robb, please“, you whine, trying to desperately to grind yourself against him, but his grip on your waist has tightened once again. 
Another whine escapes you and you bite down hard on your lips. Somehow, you feel as if you could almost cry from frustration. You need Robb, and you need him now. 
So, you tell him. „Robb, I need you, please-“
The rest of your words are swallowed by the hungry, bruising kiss Robb gives you. You’re so dizzy, so distracted, that you almost don’t notice Robb’s hands moving to lift you up - until you feel him lowering you down onto his cock. 
A surprised hiss escapes you, and your grip on Robb’s curls tightens at the sudden contact. 
Robb, however doesn’t give you any time to adjust to him like he usually does - usually, he’d also make sure to prepare you for him with his fingers or preferably his tongue, but tonight, the same hungry, desperate frenzy you’ve been feeling seems to have taken over him as well -, he slams right up into you, filling you up completely. 
Pain and pleasure mix together, and you cry out. Your grip on Robb’s shoulder is so desperate that you’re convinced your fingernails are going to leave marks, but right now, you couldn’t care less. 
Not with Robb mercilessly bucking his hips up again, one hand still on your waist, keeping you in place, the other tangled in between your hair. 
„Gods, I love it when you’re so desperate“, Robb whispers, looking right at you as he enters you again in a merciless, powerful thrust. 
You whine again, meeting Robb’s gaze. Coming up with any kind of coherent sentence in reply seems impossible, and so all you can do is look at Robb and take his powerful thrusts inside you. 
„You’re so beautiful like this“, Robb continues, just as his hand suddenly leaves your hair, trailing down from your neck to your breast and over your stomach until his fingers start to draw teasing circles over your clit. 
„Robb.“ 
„Looking all fucked out and cock-drunk, with that hazy look in your eyes and your lips swollen - makes me want to fill you right up, because you’d look even more beautiful with your belly swollen with my child-“
And somehow, that does it. You come - harder than you’ve ever come before. 
Crying out your husband’s name, you come, shaking, burying your head in the crook of Robb’s neck as white-hot waves of pleasure wash over you and you clench around him. 
Robb thrusts into you once, twice and once again, the friction nearly too much for your aching, sensitive core, before he comes as well, spilling his hot seed inside you. 
„Robb“, is all you can manage to whisper. 
You’re still shaking, and when Robb closes his arms around you, drawing you into his chest, you nearly collapse onto him. 
For a moment, you stay like that, with you in his arms and him still inside you. Robb’s hands draw gentle patterns on your skin and he starts to whisper sweet nothing into your ear, a stark contrast to the rough, dominant husband you’d witnessed just moments before. 
Eventually, you find the strength to lift your head from his shoulder again. Robb slips out of you, but his hand immediately moves between your legs again. 
„Robb, please, it’s too much“, you whimper, completely overwhelmed as he pushes his fingers inside of you. 
„Sh, love“, Robb whispers, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head. „I’m just making sure that we’re not wasting a single drop.“ 
When your eyes meet his again, he’s smirking.
„Who’s speechless now, love?“ 
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Robb tag list: @justmymindandstuff @rheanyraaaa @prettydeeryess @inkandarsenic @strrvnge
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whereispearlescentmoon · 2 days ago
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A ficlet based on the idea that the snails just hang around after the end of the session and also reflect their respective players true feelings. (yes I saw the one someone made earlier about Pearl’s snail with Gem but I had this written already and I’m not gonna not post it just because someone else posted the idea first.)
Pearl was, frankly, sick and tired of the snails. She kept checking the seams of their new base to ensure that nothing can get in. Her fingernails had bits of debris caught underneath them from each time she ran them over the corners, over the grout holding the cobblestone walls together, over everything. Grian said the snails won’t want to kill them anymore, but Pearl wasn’t taking any chances. Cleo and Scott seemed content to have theirs hanging around, and even Impulse wasn’t as wary, but while she thought they were cute at first, it’s a little less cute when they’ve killed you twice.
“Aw look at it! It loves Scott!” Cleo cooed happily. Pearl was actually trying very hard NOT to look at Cleo’s especially. Like Cleo, it was stitched together of green undead flesh. But unlike Cleo, Pearl had no affection for it and thus her disgust overpowered anything else. When she did take a glance at her teammates, Scott was happily patting ZombieSnail’s shell as it snuggled into him. Snailjor was similarly content to curl up against Cleo, who was petting it almost like a cat.
Impulse was reacting a bit more normally in Pearl’s opinion. ISnail was following him around as he changed into a more comfortable set of clothes to sleep in (cargo shorts are very practical, but not very soft), occasionally nudging at Impulse’s ankle. It made Pearl ache to be back on Hermitcraft, with Olive getting in her way as she tidied up. They had to stay the normal length of the session though, even if they had cut the killing short. It would be a few more days before anyone could go anywhere.
Then there was Pearl’s own snail. It was, frankly, nowhere to be seen. It seemed to want as little to do with her as she did with it. Oh well. Another soul bound (that is what Grian had called them, right? It seemed like he was making things up to torment Pearl specifically at this point) rejecting her. Whatever.
Maybe she had spoken too soon, she thought, as a light rustling came from outside the walls. It was followed by the sound of those stupid propellers the things had been using to fly around all session.
“I’m not in the mood, dude,” Pearl called out, as she, like Impulse, searched their chests for the sleep shorts she had brought. As her back was turned, she could hear the snail still approaching, and sighed as its cold and slimy body nudged against her leg. “Seriously, can you just-“
Her words caught in her throat as she looked down at the snail. Instead of the brown shell, navy blue jacket, and oddly long hair that she had been running from all session, there was a light orange shell and little set of overalls. Gem’s then. Pearl crouched beside it, eying it suspiciously. She still really didn’t get why Gem was so angry at her, but it couldn’t be a good sign that her murder snail was here.
“What’s up little Gem?” Pearl asked, putting her hand out. The snail, predictably, bit her, drawing blood with its oddly sharp teeth. Pearl drew back with a yelp, curling the hand into her jacket. “Dang it! Jeez Louise Gem, if you wanted to kill me outside of session time, wait till we’re back home at least,”
And home had been odd, frankly. It seemed like Gem might have been avoiding her on Hermitcraft. The Life Series wasn’t normally like that. It got kind of fuzzy when you weren’t in the server proper. Only a couple of weeks after Pearl had slaughtered them both in Double Life, she had been planning with Impulse and laughing with Cleo. She had done some clean up for Scar the same week she had put up a wall between her and the Clockers. Hell, even right after Secret Life her and Gem had hung out like nothing was the matter, chatting about the series casually. Something about being back here had dug up feelings Gem had clearly chosen not to address with her, and could Pearl really be blamed for that? No, she decided, and she wouldn’t take Gem’s snail letting out those feelings like this either.
“Whoa, what happened?” Scott had come rushing over at Pearl’s yelp. She sighed, gesturing with her now bleeding finger. Scott hissed through his teeth, “Woof, that’s nasty. What did you do to tick off Gem’s snail?”
Pearl growled, frustrating welling up. “The same thing I’ve done to Gem! Nothing! It came up to me to bite me! I literally didn’t do anything!”
Scott put his hands up, looking for all the world like he didn’t believe her.
“Alright, alright, let me look at that finger then, don’t want it to get infected. You’ve already lost more lives than you can afford.” His tone was joking, but Pearl couldn’t help but be a little hurt. She wasn’t trying to lose lives! Really! She didn’t want to win, but she didn’t want to go out first. It was just hard with the wild cards to find her normal footing.
Usually in these games her biggest strength was the ability to hide and outlast her opponents, but the twists had made that impossible. She was a good fighter, could hold her own when inevitably there was only a handful of people left and she had to fight, but she usually avoided getting involved until then. Now, she might be dead before those final bloodbath days, when the whole server was red and all was going to hell, even happened.
While Scott took the time to properly clean out the cut, the snail nudged at Pearl’s ankle again. She shook it off with a frustrated huff.
“See what I mean? It’s trying to come up to me! What am I supposed to do about that?” Scott finished wrapping her finger and looked down at the snail, which seemed frankly uninterested in him, beady green eyes fixated on Pearl alone.
“Maybe it’s like an abused cat,” he proposed, “It wants to show you affection but when you do it back, it starts hissing and biting. You’ve just got to let it come to you and pretend you don’t even notice it,”
“Or, we could leave it outside the base and hope it goes back to Gem?” She suggested, hopefully. Scott gave her an exasperated look.
“Didn’t it fly over the wall to get her in the first place?” Pearl pouted and huffed, crossing her arms.
She titled her head to get a good look at the snail. Her right eye had gone red tinted and it made it harder to see out of, forcing her to crane her neck at odd angles to see with the left. The Gem snail had come crawling back and was circling the log Pearl had sat down on. Every subsequent circle, it got closer and closer, until it was brushing Pearl’s leg. Finally, as Pearl sat still so as to not provoke another attack, it settled on the log beside her, leaning its weight against her thigh. Pearl ignored it pointedly, holding back a shudder at the weird feeling of its slug-like body.
It wasn’t until the next morning that the Gem snail finally left. Pearl had barely been able to sleep, halfway between comforted and afraid of the thing snoozing beside her. She didn’t want to provoke it. She hadn’t wanted to provoke Gem. Maybe she was doing all of this wrong. Or maybe Gem was. Either way, she just wanted to go home and have things be normal again.
Somewhere, in the forest, Pearlescentsnail found a tree and climbed up it to sleep. She looked around, making sure there was no one else there, sank into her shell, and stayed there until the session ended. She went out alone.
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seikkoi · 2 days ago
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ꜱᴜɢᴀʀ | dom!tony stark x sugarbaby!reader ( ᴄʀɪᴍᴇ!ᴀᴜ )
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ᴘᴀʀᴛ ꜰɪᴠᴇ [1, 2, 3, 4] | ʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴏɴ ᴀᴏ3
There was nothing that could keep Tony from having exactly what he wanted—and he deserved a little sweetness in his life. All he had to do was keep from ruining you in the process.
content/warnings: 18+ minors do not interact. non-canon, non-superhero au, sub/dom undertones, slight emotional/verbal manipulation, obsessive + possessive behavior, age gap (reader described as mid-twenties, t.s as mid-forties), mildly dubious consensual situations, explicit mentions of alcohol and drug use, generally not for the light of heart, rough sexual content, reader described as petite word count: 9.8k
There isn’t any conversation surrounding Pepper’s visit, or the divorce, but it’s all around you regardless.
Random items disappear from the penthouse–a Pollock (your present takes its place), some throw pillows from the study, and a few Turkish ceramics you never knew existed. The phone rings far more than you care for. Tony has far more meetings than you care for. A bespeckled lawyer and his blonde associate nearly become housemates, spending hours behind the frosted glass door. Natasha makes a few appearances as well, which confuses you the most. You find the spice in her perfume too bold.
On her third exit in as many weeks, you question Tony on it. He absently traces patterns on your calves, seemingly not paying attention to you or the film on screen. 
“Should I be worried?” you hide your sincerity behind a glass of wine, twirling the stem between your fingers. The red liquid mirrors the motion inside, spidering against the walls.
“About Natasha?” he asks incredulously. 
“Yes,” you draw out, “and you–all of it, really.” 
“Now why on Earth would you be worrying about me?” 
You would love to point out the obvious and address the building-sized elephant in the room that says  ‘you’re recently sober and just got a divorce’ but the look on his face tells you it’s unnecessary. 
Tony finds a way to answer the unasked anyways. 
“It’s a shit ton of paperwork, and signing things, so it’s annoying, yes but I am fine. Scouts honor.” 
He kisses your hand and grins with all the confidence in the world. It’s so fucking arcane each time–close to magic in how it undos every worry and mirrors his gleam. 
You wished it had more permanent effects. Something long-lasting and memorable. Easy to spread over the evening and into the early morning hours, when he’s inconsolable in your arms. You could turn it back into magic words. Banish whatever miasma racked his body and go back to peaceful nights (because you had those at some point, right?).
Being able to ask the hard questions doesn’t mean shit if the answer’s always a dismissive work of fiction. You never learned what caused their separation, or sent ‘everything to shit’ as Tony put it. Not because you didn’t ask, no that question came the same night Pepper did.  Apparently it’s the same driver of every modern American divorce–money. Tony summarizes the event as a fatal disagreement over corporate shares, though like always you feel you’re being told an official story. Clean cut with all messy details chopped away. 
“You don’t have a signature stamp at this point?” you joke.
“Oh no,” Tony’s hands brace your ankles to pull you closer, “ every squiggle needs to be authentic and fresh.”
“Right, how could I assume anything less.” Your eyes roll but you let your legs drape over his lap. 
“Seriously, I’m doing fine–things will calm back down soon.” A gentle squeeze drives the point home. 
A thought crosses your mind. An insecurity, really, but one you haven’t let go since meeting Pepper.
“If it’s like, I don’t know,” you hesitate under Tony’s raised eyebrow, “–I can head back to my apartment if it’s too much.”
Stark Industries was still footing the bill even though you spent less than 10 hours there in the last two months. There’s a fear in overstaying your welcome, or whatever it is you were doing here. Either way, you figured it was less than ideal to have your girlfriend around during a divorce. 
“If what’s too much?” 
“I don’t know, if you need your space right now or–” you answer exasperatedly.
“Honey,” he gives a hearty laugh, “if I ever start asking for space, call a doctor.”
All resistance becomes futile.
You keep your apartment (for unnecessary security), but more time lapses between visits. You issue a long overdue farewell to bartending. Even being driven, the commute to that side of town is hellish and the whole thing got more pointless with each day. You drank in the fruits of this life, but not without a tiny bit of unease. It’s unease that you bury down under all the other feelings. The affection, the simplicity, the serenity. So you swap mixers for paintbrushes and solitude for the man you love. 
Other subtle changes require a quicker adjustment, but you’re getting dangerously good at adapting. With Tony’s birthday past, you recognize a pattern to Harley’s visits. Every three months like clockwork. You begin to anticipate them well enough, and start appreciating his occasional presence during your early morning tea. By his third appearance, you brew two cups.
On the first visit he barely utters a word. You were ready for some witty insult that never came, and offered him a cup in silence. You want to ask why he arrives so early just to sit in his father’s kitchen, but opt for peace instead. 
Once Pepper’s placard is gone in the parking garage and Natasha stops showing up (at all hours of the day, atleast), he’s there a second time. 
“How he’s doing with the,” he trails off, peering at you over an empty mug as the sun starts to break. He doesn’t need to motion at the empty space for you to pick up his meaning.
The official story is dancing on your tongue. The one you’ve told two times over at this point (Jarvis, Natasha). He's perfectly fine, better even. It was a piece of cake then, but now you can’t seem to look Harvey in the eye and speak in half-truths. 
“Honestly,” you sigh, “Good–not good, I don’t know.”  You were dying under  the irony of it all. Consoling Tony in the darkness of morning and then watching him make million dollar deals by noon. You don’t know how he’s managing any of it, and if any of this qualifies as okay. 
Green eyes blink slowly through an overgrown fringe. Barbers were clearly scarce in the last three months, wherever he spent them. Exhaustion forces a yawn before he speaks again, pinching his nose. 
“Figured as much.” Harley stands for the sink.
He goes through the labor of washing the ebony cup, a rare quirk amongst the obscenely rich. You’d learned they are very reliant upon their quiet servants. You wondered if he did it out of modesty or good manners.  
“Do you know why they separated?” If he was in the mood to talk about Tony, you weren’t going to pass up the chance.
“Uh, something with the company, her share or whatever. Always about the money with them.” he answers casually, tossing a look over his shoulder. 
It’s genuine enough, but all too similar to the rehearsed lines. You half-expected him to call you nosy. 
“No real loss there.” Harley adds, a hint of disdain in his voice
“Not a fan I take it?” The flimsy tag finally crumbling under your ministrations.
He chortles as he slumps back into the bar stool. 
“Pepper can be, uh,” A yawn and an eye rub take precedence, “overbearing, yeah that’s a good word for it.”
“Yeah, can’t imagine that worked well for Tony.” You murmur into your tea.
“Oh it most definitely did not.” Harley laughs again. “Not for a guy that does the opposite of whatever you tell him.”
His laugh is infectious (like father like son), and you smirk even though instead the mental picture makes you cringe. A lull passes between you. Outside, morning traffic begins, trickling upwards to interrupt the quiet. It cues Harley to get back to whatever it is he comes here to do, while you move on with the day. 
As an advantage of all the free time, you get to invest more time in your estranged friendships. Being around old friends turned out to be surprisingly good. You had anticipated more awkwardness, but there was something comforting about not having to wear a mask for once around someone besides your boyfriend. 
At this point, you slowly filled in a few close ones about your relationship with Tony. Clearly you were in this for the long haul, and keeping things under wraps was becoming futile. The general consensus was positive, thankfully. Obviously, that’s due to a great deal of details being omitted. The act left a sour taste in your mouth. Not from the content–how easy it was. You hated to repeat such behaviors, but it was less complicated this way. You wouldn’t have to labor through justifying your relationship, or hear concerns you didn’t already have. 
Tony’s reception was, oddly, less positive. He didn’t care much for your old ‘starving artist’ clique. He thought you should take advantage of his access to New York’s greatest–the real pioneers. It took little arguing from you for him to drop that thought entirely, and he conceded to just be happy to see you happy. 
Like good friends, they tease about your newfound love. One asks when they’ll get to meet ‘Mr. CEO’ and you have to brush it off casually. You like your worlds better separate. 
A sweltering autumn soon becomes frostbitten winter. This gives you less light to work with, resorting to find shuddering shoulders in complete darkness. You don’t think it’s worth searching for warmer pastures or a simpler life. No, you order a cashmere robe and get used to seeing by touch. 
Late nights in the tower turn out to be a great place to hone such skills. The halls are narrow and void of any windows, so you ghost the pads of your fingers around for customary shapes. A cushioned nook and a neglected book lull you into a nap one evening and you wake past the sunset. If you were able to sleep so late undisturbed, Tony must be preoccupied. You planned to tiptoe into the kitchen without a sound, but your ears catch words murmured behind the glass. The door is cracked slightly, just enough to let a streak of light breaks across the hardwood floor
“–fifteen, ten, maybe if we’re lucky.” 
The bespeckled man’s words are measured, precise as usual. You can almost picture his lips barely parting to utter syllables behind round-trim frames. 
“Jesus christ–the fuck am I paying you for? Because I am paying you, like a metric shit ton” 
At Tony’s voice, you press closer. 
“I’m not the idiot getting a divorce.”
“Okay, okay, let’s just stay focused here.” Natasha raises her voice above the two men, and you hear a chair drag across the office.
“Uh-uh, don’t think you’re getting off scot free–we wouldn’t even be having this conversation if you did your job a tad better too.” 
“I will say it was ‘lot easier to spread the financials between two people.” 
Social norms concerning privacy start to get to you, urging your feet to pivot and take you back upstairs. Your escape goes undetected, and you seek refuge in the shower. 
You wash the day away under warm jetstreams. Part of your mind is stuck replaying everything, wondering how he was handling it all, trying not to indulge in the urge to check the sink drawer. In a flash, you toss the thought away. It’s easy to not overthink at this hour. Especially when coconut vanilla soap tugs you back towards exhaustion. You make it back out to the bedroom, where you find Tony removing his shoes at the end of the bed.
He smiles at the crack of light from the bathroom. Tony’s days were getting longer while the rest of the hemisphere’s got shorter. He would say he missed when life was simple, but he can’t remember such a time. Life growing up was anything but simple, then the older he got the more it sucked out every ounce of his energy. Everything after became, well, everything after.
Picturing a new future keeps him going. One in a coastal city, something global like New York but much, much warmer. He fights the urge to picture your silhouette amongst the waves. It’s not guaranteed. He might find himself in this dreaded cycle all over again. Then his coconut scented fantasy would be tarnished. 
No, it’s better to cherish the present with you. Like right now, watching coconut scented water droplets descended down your legs and shoulders. Even though he knows he won’t be here long. Truly, he’d wish you weren’t awake,  knowing he’d have to leave soon.
“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” You teased, abandoning your towel as you pulled the dresser open.
He’s easy to rile up, and you know exactly what you’re doing–bending over slowly to pull your panties above your hips. You can’t help it when he stares like it’s his first time seeing you, every time. 
“Please don’t tempt me.” 
Tony’s voice is low, barely above a whisper. He’s unmoving on the edge of the bed, hands braced beside his thighs as his eyes follow the movements of your hands around lacy black fabric. Truly he’s perplexed. Who knew watching someone get dressed would be just as much of a turn-on. Or maybe it’s just you.
You toss one of his faded band tees on, and he thinks this might actually be better than any sun-soaked dream (it’s definitely just you). 
You cross the bedroom, the loose cotton brushing against your skin with each step. As you approach, you snake your arms around Tony's neck and straddle his lap. His large hands ghost up the smooth skin of your thighs, leaving a trail of warmth as they make their way to your back. The moment your skin touches his, Tony’s eyes lock onto yours, but you can tell his focus is elsewhere.
“What are you thinking about?” you ask softly, raking your hands through brown coils.
You assume his mind is still on the conversation downstairs, but the grin spreading on his face says otherwise. His lips move to pepper your exposed neck with kisses, still smiling.
“Really wanna know?” 
“Sure, hit me.”
The ghosts across your veins turn into full blown grazes. 
“You, in a bikini, drinking margaritas somewhere with no extradition laws.” 
You chuckle at the notion and swat his shoulder when his teeth find your pulse point. 
“Hey, you asked,” he laughs into your skin, gripping your hips tighter, “besides it’s your fault–’smell like I’m damn near there already.” 
Tony’s mouth turns hungrier and hungrier, moving feverishly across every exposed inch until the flesh is tender and you're panting in his lap. It’s just encouragement, so he doesn’t pause for a moment as his fingers slip behind your lace. They work at the wetness already ruining the fabric, dragging it across your length and making your shiver. 
Okay, sure, maybe another period of minimal alone time was getting to you, maybe. Sue me, you thought. Honestly, Tony should be more grateful to have such a willing partner–and you told him as much. Unfortunately, this elicited a need for Tony to instill a sense of gratitude in you.
In the next second, you're tossed onto your back, wrists pinned tightly above your head. His other hand pulls your panties down your legs and you try not to make a joke about the futility in getting dressed. Instead, you soak his weight against you, the roaming hand between your thighs and teeth on your neck. 
Marking you is the obvious goal-sucking harder with each breathy whimper. He wasn’t kidding earlier, either. You smelled good enough to devour and he intended on doing so. His danced along your folds, a cufflink scratching the supple skin at the top of your thigh.  They are never anywhere long enough to give you any real pleasure. Just to take more breath from your lungs and feeling from your legs. 
You squirm against vicuna dress pants, trying to gain more friction on his hand. Instead of catering to your needs, he stops all together and the noise you make is almost pathetic. Who are you kidding, it’s fully pathetic–it couldn’t have been over two weeks, and pleas can hardly form on your tongue for more. 
Tony reels back with a smirk that flips your stomach. A scheme is brewing behind darkened pupils. His eyes stay on you as his hand returns to your center, slow and heavy over your clit. 
He doesn’t relent when your wrists strain and hips buck against him. No, a tighter grip and knee over your hip hold you steady enough for his fingers to work faster. You want to chastise yourself for how much you missed this–then two fingers slide into you and there isn’t room to think of much else.
He moves quickly and silent, like a serpent, finding that perfect rhythm that makes your eyes flutter. Your soft moans fill the quiet space. He’s too steady, not changing a muscle as your peak comes closer. The most desperate you get, writing against his palm to get even one extra inch of depth, the slower he moves. 
“Did you have fun sneaking around?” 
Your eyes flutter open in the dim bedroom, Tony’s sly grin shining above you. It cuts straight through the fog of pleasure taking you over. 
“I don’t know what you’re–” you start to bluff. 
“You’re not very sneaky, you know? Or a good liar. That’s a particular skill set that you, my dear, sorely lack.”  Slow and teasing, he slides two fingers back into you.
“Okay, okay. Maybe I was eavesdropping a little.” He finally moves with purpose again, but of course not enough.
“A little? Let’s not start underrepresenting things, hm?” 
Before you can debate him further, he withdraws and you think you might honestly cry if this continues.
“Okay, point taken, would you please stop torturing me now?” 
“Now, why would I reward bad behavior?” he asked, lowering his gaze.
“If it helps, I wasn’t trying to.”
“It doesn’t.” 
His palms grip your hips, flipping you onto your stomach and lifting your waist upwards. The sudden movement leaves you breathless, searching for balance on your forearms until they’re pulled behind your back. 
“You know exactly which nerve to press, don’t you?” he breathes into the base of your neck, chest flush to your back as he hands work at his zipper.
How ironic, considering he spends the next hour tuning your body like an instrument. Knowing exactly where to press, where to ease off, until you finally unlock, bare and moaning into the mattress.
Afterwards, you fall asleep to the steady beat of his heart. 
You’re half way to sleep when Tony slinks out of your arms. At first, you don’t bother stirring. Then, the soft draw of the dresser catches your ear. 
You flip over onto your stomach to get a better view. You watch Tony’s shadowy figure attempt to quietly dress. For a rare sight, he abandons the tailored suit for dark Levis and a t-shirt. It hardly looks like him, in the best way possible (ignoring the obvious question of where the hell he planned on going in that. Less larger-than-life, more real. This, now this was someone you can imagine running into at the grocery store. The sharp edges of his suits always added a degree of gravitas to everything.
“Where are you off to?”
“Going to see a man about a horse.” 
He leans down for a bright smile and a quick kiss before he leaves, and you let sleep suppress any thoughts about what that could possibly mean.
You awake to a sun that has long outran the horizon. The sheer curtains were already pulled back, with the smell telling you Jarvis made a feast for breakfast. Tony’s side is empty. Which is no surprise there, but you don’t expect him at the kitchen table. 
He grins behind a newspaper as you approach. Jarvis is busy with the espresso machine, muttering curses under his breath. 
“Tell me, what are your thoughts on cyclamen–oo, or actually, narcissus, yeah, that’s better.” Tony asks like you've been having some sort of conversation before five seconds ago.
Jarvis clicks the tamper in with a satisfied click as you stare back confused. You’re two blinks away from falling back asleep and desperately craving something stronger than green tea. 
“What are you-Is-Are those restaurants?” 
“Oh, morning ma’am. Shall I prepare you a tea, perhaps breakfast?” Jarvis turns at the sound of your voice, wiping damp grounds from his hands.
“Good morning, but no, just some coffee, please.” You try to sound natural. It’s weird giving someone else orders. 
“Nope, flowers. We could do something simple like a peony but I don’t think that matches the whole vibe with the satin garlands.” Tony continues. 
“Tony, hon, I have no idea what you’re on about right now.” you groggily slouch in the chair beside him. 
“We, my dear,” the newspaper is folded and plopped onto the table for dramatic effect, “are having a Christmas party. The proverbial ‘we’ in this situation being the company, of course.” 
“A Christmas party?” you muse with a laugh.
“For tax purposes, a gala. For my purposes, and therefore to make it fun, it is indeed a party, yes.” 
Espresso warms your veins as you listen to Tony ramble through plans for catering, guests, decanters and a whole bunch of other shit you can hardly keep up with. Good thing that responsibility falls to Jarvis, who jots away on a worn notepad. Once your eyes fully open, the thought starts to excite you. Your yearly festivities normally boiled down to a bottle of chardonnay and some loosely Christmas film like Die Hard. “Plus, if I auction some art, it works out even more.” He punctuates his brilliant plan with a bite of a muffin. 
“That’s not like a massive trigger for you?” 
High-volume social events dropped off the radar recently, for good reason, you assumed (not that you minded a break from fake smiles and cold handshakes) . Instead, Tony dragged you along to more intimate dinners with whatever broker or councilwoman he needed to charm. Your role as plus-one never went anywhere, but doing so at Tony’s your home would give you more confidence. 
“What are you, my sponsor?” he teases but you're less amused at the thought. 
“You don’t even have a sponsor.” You know so, because Tony believes Narcotics Anonymous is a, quote, ‘sad-ass glorified tea party’. 
“I have Jarvis.” He’s completely serious, and Jarvis hides his laughter behind a stack of plates.  
You don’t want to point out the obvious cognitive dissonance. That a man who spends his nights in petrified somnolence might crack under the pressure of dozens of inebriated colleagues. Not now, in a moment of peace. Not in front of Jarvis. You’re not sure how much sound slips out into the hall.
Tony watches the worry creep over your face from the edge of his newspaper. With a sigh, he abandons it again.
“Look, all you have to do is look pretty–which is no sweat for you, maybe drink a few apple cider cocktails, and relax. I’ve got everything else perfectly handled.”
He gives you a look, both reassuring and decisive. It’s a simple message meant to be taken without debate, ‘trust me’. 
You get one more peaceful morning drinking tea in the dark with Harley before the holiday season.
The event overtakes your life from Thanksgiving onward. You really don’t know how this sudden festive fervor spawns, but it slowly creeps into everything. From the elevator music, to miniature elves by the door, to candy canes everywhere, and more Christmas ties than days in December (you can’t be sure he’s not switching them multiple times a day). 
You weren’t a total Grinch, not by a long shot. Tony just so happened to be creeping into that weird overly festive zone reserved for suburban moms and kindergarten teachers. 
“Tony, what’s all of this?”
Vivaldi plays faintly on the record player. There’s a delicately placed mistletoe just off of the elevator, accompanied with a haphazard trail of roses leading out onto the balcony. You navigate through a candlelight kitchen juggling a heavy box of resin. 
“Tony?” you call out again once the box makes contact with the counter,
“Out here!” 
You follow the voice and rose trail to the balcony. Unsurprisingly, he’s donning a god awful Christmas sweater, grinning and pointing to the wool like it’s runway fashion. A small table holds two covered silver platters, and a tall bottle of champagne rests in a bucket of ice. It’s the kind of overtly romantic display you’d gotten since night one, but it never fails to sink your breath straight in your heart. Something about the way he’s standing there, beaming like a nervous, lovestruck fool, tells you this isn’t just a normal gesture of affection.
Still, your lips part to thank him, but he stops you instantly. 
“Just wait–” he pleads, “I got like thirty minutes of practice into saying this and I can’t fuck it up.” 
His voice is rushed enough that you believe. Clearly the words were threatening to jump out of him. It sets you a bit on edge, trying to anticipate what this was about. You indulge him anyway and nod. 
Tony crosses the balcony to take your hands in his, thumb brushing over your knuckles. 
“Okay, I know things haven’t been copacetic around here. And I know I’ve asked for a lot–more than I ever thought I would–and you know sometimes it feels like I’ll never be able to return what you’ve given to me, but I swear I’m going to make this worth it.” 
He squeezes your palm, tired brown eyes searching yours for something, any sign that his words meant a single thing. It’s a fast-winded speech that makes you wanna laugh at the irony. Tony, the man who’d move the stars if they had a price tag, somehow feeling the need to repay you.  Yet his voice is raw like a frayed nerve. Exposed to the cold winds whipping against the tower glass. 
“Tony, you’ve made it more than worth it, everyday.” You smile, though it’s worth wondering what’s driving him to say all this. The words ring true regardless.
“Not nearly enough,” he says softly, “but I’m going to–I’m going to give you the world.”
In that moment, you see it: the weight of everything he’s been carrying. Your ribs seem to tighten inside your chest. That unspoken fear you’ve both been trying to avoid–it was far easier twenty seconds ago when you thought it was yours alone. You realize now that the fearless man you saw in fact was scared of something (losing you, primarily). Yeah, you comforted him through nightmares, but even then he managed to carry an aura of control.  
This wasn't about  holding onto the life you’ve built together, the one that’s felt so fragile lately. And for the first time, you see how much that matters to him, too.
He starts to say something else, dropping your hands. His fingers fiddle behind his back, seemingly nestled in his back pocket. He stares like he intended to say something else, lips parting and closing right back. In the next second, he seems to shift gears, pulling you into a hug. 
You welcome the warm embrace, as the chill has started to gnaw at your bones. He plants a kiss to the top of your head, and you want to stay in that feeling for the rest of your life.
Sadly, he does eventually pull away to admit dinner on the balcony would be quite miserable, and the two of you move inside. 
You could spend the rest of the evening overthinking about what all that meant, but you don’t bother. Why go through that mental labor, when instead you could drink $500 champagne, carefree while your handsome boyfriend flirts with you like it’s the first date. 
You don’t think about it then, or later in the night when your legs are pressed to your chest and you can’t recall a single thing he said. You focus on what he’s saying then–filthy words about who you belong to, and exactly where you belong–a whimpering mess underneath him.
Even when it turns possessive (more so than usual), when your throat is littered with marks and his hand stands to leave another on his hip, you don’t think of it. But it’s the only thing on Tony’s mind. When another orgasm rips through you, all he can think about is how much he needs you. He whispers ‘you’re mine’ over and over and over as you fall apart just so your broken moans can still echo–so he can hear just how true it is. How could you, with such a dutiful guide at the helm?
Afterwards, when you’re drained of every ounce of life, it still doesn't bother you. You don’t wonder if tonight might be another night he slips into plain clothes and disappears until sunrise. You can’t muster a single thought as his arm slinks around your waist to pull you closer. 
You simply close your eyes, and let sleep take you. 
Eventually the days tick by to the gala, and you’re somewhere between impressed and overstimulated with all the ensuing holiday glamor. 
Though, you can’t say he doesn’t go all out. 
The first floor of Stark Industries is transformed from a cold minimalist space to Ebenezer Scrooge's worst nightmare. A makeshift stage sits at one end, complete with enough tinsel to suffocate a horse and twinkling garlands. Piles of fake snow anoint the corners, and a particularly large one sits beneath a 12-foot tall Christmas tree in the middle of the lobby. The open bar even serves drinks in frosted holiday glasses. He even has the guards wearing reindeer ears. 
By ten p.m. the vast floor seems smaller than a shoebox, packed with guests in evening gowns and tailored tuxedos. Initially, you’d planned on wearing a new piece for the gala–something to make the overwhelming festivity Tony demanded. Once it came time to get dressed, your eyes caught the sanguine dress. You hadn’t gotten the chance to wear it since your first date. It had felt too exquisite for any other occasion, but for some reason you were drawn to wear it tonight. 
You wish you could say Tony had a good reaction–or a reaction at all. From sunrise until the doors opened, he’s caught up in planning and preparations. Matter of fact, you were two hours into the gala and had only seen glimpses of him shaking hands in the crowd. It takes away from the expected familiarity. You imagined this night to be simple, easy for you to blend it with Tony on your arm, in his home your home. Instead, you wander like a lost gazelle, feeling every pair of eyes on you. You want to blame the dress. Revealing and bright red.
In the blurry swarm of faces, bright auburn stands out. Natasha wouldn’t be your first pick, but she’s the only familiar face and you need a respite.
You squeeze in next to her at one of the corner tables. The spice of her perfume permeates your nose but you can look past it for the moment. She pays you no mind at first, legs crossed and head turned to the crowd. You don’t mind one bit. It’s quieter towards the back, and you have no issue with it staying that way. 
Natasha sighs deeply, almost in boredom, maybe annoyance, but not with you. 
“I don’t know how you stand him.”
“How do you figure?” you respond absently, picking apart at a stray piece of tinsel.
“One of the richest men on Earth-I know he’s got the ego to match it.”
“You’d know better than I would, wouldn’t you?” you answer. You’d gotten the sense Natasha and Tony back way further than him and Pepper a while ago,
“Touche, but I’m not dating him.” she shifts to take another sip from her glass, “though, I’m not really sure why you are.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, do you really love him, or are you just after a family fortune?” Emerald eyes points like knives, her tone blending from casualty to scorn.
“W-what,” you stammer, “Of course I love him–Tony pursued me.”
“Please, he’d pursue anything with a pulse,” Natasha chuckles, “and relax, I’m just finally getting around to doing my due diligence.” 
“Your ‘due diligence’ is being a cunt?”
“Ooh! I see you’re a feisty one–you did sit here after all, you know.” she muses.
“Just needed a break from the crowd,” you mummer, rising. 
“Stay then–relax, like I said.” she gestures towards your now-empty seat. When you sigh and retake your place, she smiles. “I like you, you know.”
“We’ve barely spoken.” you declare, a dry chuckle spewing alongside. 
“That doesn’t mean I don’t know a smart person when I see one.” 
“Smart?”
“Smart decisions, going out with Tony, not screwing that up, though I’ve been told you’ve come close a few times.”
“Who–”
“This isn’t an interrogation, like I said, I like you–I don’t really care what happens between you two.”
“Then what is this?” you flag the nerdy tuxedoed waiter for a glass of water. 
“You said it yourself, we’ve barely spoken. My job is to keep Tony’s business running smoothly, and that’s become a lot harder since he won’t make a single decision without considering the ‘y/n’ of it all.” 
You scoff, unimpressed. “We don’t talk about his business.”
“Oh, I know,” Natasha remarks, “A bartender has no idea how to run a billion dollar corporation, and even less of an idea how to advise one.” 
“This is the part where you tell me I have no business being with him, right?” The waiter drops off a tall pitcher of water for you both. Once your glass is full, he passes along a message that Tony’s speech starts soon. 
“Dear god no,” Natasha laughs, “I imagine you’ve heard that enough–and he’s much more pleasant since you came around. Besides, you’re living the dream.” 
“Is that so?” You have to give a laugh of your own (considering you had a bit of jealousy buried for her). 
“Oh yes, filthy rich, live in a penthouse, never work another day in your life, loving husband–maybe not my dream, but still a dream.” 
You don’t know if she’s trying to be funny but your next laugh is genuine, and she joins in.
“What is your dream, then?” you question.
Natasha’s grin stiffens, surprised. Contemplation passes for a second and you worry that you’ve underdone the last three minutes of camaraderie. 
“Ballet teacher–but that stays at this table.” She gives you a matching pointed look.
“My lips are sealed.” You do try not to giggle, but it’s odd to imagine her frigidity in a warm lit studio surrounded by tutus. 
“Did you mean it, what you said about Tony? That things are...okay?” Natasha asks, referring to Tony’s sobriety. It’s weird how everyone dances around it, especially someone so usually straightforward as her. 
It was weeks ago when you parroted that claim. And you only call it that because the question annoys the fuck out of you. It’s entirely subjective, and you give in to the optimistic look in their eye and tell them what they want to hear. He’s fine, better even.
Maybe it’s because she’s being nice, or because you already gave up this facade with Harley, but you can’t be bothered to pretend you know what’s going on with him all the time. Besides, clearly you weren’t doing a good enough job for her to ask you about it again
“I want to say yes, but I don’t know, I guess?” you admit, staring into the crowd. 
Natasha’s mouth parts to speak again, only to have the microphone’s feedback interrupt her. The host–some Nobel prize winning chemist Tony invited to pull donors–clears his throat before starting his introduction, and the noise draws to a lull. Natasha excuses herself, presumably to find Tony before his speech. You decide to stay at the back of the lobby, with a good enough view of the stage. 
Supposedly this entire sordidly festive affair had a true business purpose, some big announcement Tony was making on the ‘future of the company’. He didn’t explain much more than that, and you’re certain the technical logistics were beyond you anyway. 
After a long, boring welcome, the mic is passed off to Tony. It’s the first time today you’ve been able to see him fully–draped in a jet black tuxedo and bright red bowtie. 
It whines again in his grip, and Tony pauses once the cheers die down, glancing at the expectant faces below. Thick cards press into his palm, each written meticulously inked by Natasha last night He clears his throat, glancing out past the lights into the crowd. He hopes they can’t see how heavy the stillness starts to weigh on him like before. The sudden quiet, all that attention. Including yours, somewhere out there. His heart stalls at how must look to you up here. Larger than life probably, or maybe you weren’t looking at all (he hopes you aren’t). A hundred odd pairs of eyeballs, and he hides from yours. 
Tony knew what he had to do, and was quite confident in his choice. But he can’t risk looking you in the eye while he does it. Ironically, his decision had very little to do with you, and everything to do with Pepper. The edge of his mouth still twitches. 
“Tonight…” he starts, turning the twitch into a warm smile, “…I’ve asked you all to be here in celebration, to celebrate Stark Industries, and talk about the future of the company,” He clears his throat, rolling his shoulders as if trying to loosen some unseen knot.
There’s a small, brief ripple of confusion among the front of the room, murmurs. Something shifts in his expression—just a flash—before his eyes catch something and harden. A gesture is made to the guard at the end of the stage. His hand tightens around the mic.
“To keep things transparent,” he says, stuffing the cards into his pocket, “the real reason I threw this party, asked you all to be here, is because I want everyone to see how much this means to be.”
Your ears perk up. Natasha swears under her breath, glancing at you before sharply leaving the table, tapping away at her phone. Tony can’t hide from your gaze anymore, and he finds your confused face in the back corner. Before you think about a path to escape, the crowd follows his attention, taking their eyes from the billionaire to the nobody fiddling with tinsel alone.
“I want to celebrate the love I have for this woman, and take this opportunity to share it with everyone.” 
What the hell is he doing?, you think. He can't be doing this here, like this. 
“The truth is,” he pauses, feeling his phone buzz off the hook (most certainly Natasha telling him to stop), “I’m getting married, and Stark Industries will be welcoming a new partner in its operations.”
The room erupts in a chorus of oos and awes, all to the tune of your racing heart. It takes you a second to process. He means getting married to you. You never even talked about marriage, the future, anything like that. Yeah, maybe in passing the idea came up, but at no point did you accept a marriage proposal. 
Everything feels nauseatingly blurry after. Random individuals come over with their congratulations, while half the crowd stares and the other half still bothers to listen to the rest of Tony’s speech. It’s a bunch of nonsense about restructuring and profits, and you’re too confused, pissed, and too fed up with fake smiles to bother standing around to listen. 
You suffer through two more superficial conversations about the marriage you were only made privy a few minutes ago. Finally, you escape to the restroom. You find an empty stall to hide in, trying to process what was going through Tony’s mind.
He couldn’t be serious, could he? This wasn’t real–it was some ploy or tactic. He didn’t genuinely intend to marry you. You didn’t like to think of the long-term for the same reasons you didn’t think about the short-term. This was unpredictable, you learned that. You learned to be okay with that. You could soak in the pleasures indefinitely without ever worrying about how it might all end. This, this brought it into a sharp focus you weren’t ready for. 
You’re not even certain he’s fully divorced yet. 
Once your palms finally dry, and the threat of a panic attack fades, you step out of the restroom. You don’t even know what to think, and the sterile walls weren’t helping. Glancing back toward the gala, you spot Tony scanning the room—until his eyes find yours. You don't hold his gaze long; instead, you turn sharply toward the elevator. You hear your name faintly called from somewhere behind, but you keep moving down the hall, ignoring it.
He breaks into an awkward jog to catch you. You keep your eyes forward.
“[Y/N], look I know this wasn’t what you were expecting, and I can explain I just need–” he starts,
“You’ve lost your fucking mind, Stark,” Natasha heels stomp angrily down the hall, stepping in front you to point her finger in Tony’s face, “what the hell are you doing?”
“Alright, alright, not you right now–cut it out!” He smacks her hand away flippantly, “I’m not entirely sure you and Matt haven’t been drinking the kool-aid either.�� 
Tony huffs and straightens his bowtie and you step back from Natasha’s heat. Behind the three of you, someone gets their hands on a karaoke machine and a terrible rendition of Santa Baby follows.
“The whole point of this bullshit was to go public and get out of this shit so explain to me how this gets us anywhere closer to that?” She grits.
Tony throws his hands in the air, “Maybe it doesn’t, but your dumbass plan wasn’t any better.”
“You think marrying her is going to help you? You know I was joking when I said that, right?” 
Suddenly, a spotlight seems to beam over you. Neither party stops their death glare to fully acknowledge you. That wasn’t a proposal–you were just some pawn in their game.
You don’t even know what the hell they’re playing for.
“This is a great time to remind you who signs your checks.” 
Only then do her eyes bother to glance at you. 
“This isn’t gonna end well, and you know it.” She concedes, still stern. After that, she stomps back off into the crowd. 
Tony turns towards you, but you're already back at the elevator, watching the buttons finally reach L.
“[Y/N], please–” 
The doors ding open and you don’t stop to hear anymore. Despite your feverous attempt to close the doors, Tony makes his way inside. The door just barely misses his coattail, to your annoyance.   
Even worse, and completely on par for the evening, the jingle bells elevator music plays the moment the doors shut. 
A hard, awkward beat passes. You’re pinching the bridge of your nose, sparsely emptied of any more energy for this night (mentally or otherwise). 
“You look fucking stellar, by the way, love that dress–”
“Tony.”
“Right, you’re right, sorry.”
Neither of you spare another word from the elevator to the bedroom. Tony follows behind, closing the door softly as you toss your earring onto the dresser. You’re waiting for him to speak again. Explain, deflect–hopefully just explain, but he doesn’t. He sits at the end of the bed, eyes trained to you in the mirror. 
“Why didn’t you ask me? Alone? Before today?” you sigh, “
“I wanted to, I was going to, the other night on the balcony I just–” he answers quickly, but trails off in a way that has you turning to face him instantly.
You don’t doubt that for a second. Truthfully, the level of effort and random heartfeltness of the night gave you some clue. But, when it never came you just chalked it up to Tony being Tony. Painfully romantic in most conditions. 
“You just what, didn’t want to?” There’s anger, though you know it's hypocritical. 
“No I just,” he exhales, dragging his fingers through slicked back hair, “I knew you’d say yes.”
“You knew I’d say yes? What the hell does that mean?” Your necklace joins the rest of your jewelry with a loud clink. 
“This is coming out all wrong–”
“You think?” The six inch heels are the next thing to go, throwing haphazardly in the closet. Tony rises to cut you off in front of the door, eyes pleading for understanding you’re not sure you have. 
“I saw the look in your eye, I’d done so much to make sure you’d say yes in that moment because I needed you to–not because I wanted it and that wasn’t the way it was supposed to go.”
“You don’t know that I’d say yes.”
“You would,” he says with that practiced charm, all sunny but hollow. A trademark Stark move—confidence teetering on arrogance. When you hesitate, he’s ready with another word, a gaze intense enough to hypnotize. “You know you would.”
You laugh, looking away as if it’s absurd. “Are you really so sure?”
His hand slips into yours, gentle but firm, thumb brushing across your knuckles in a way that makes it seem like he’s talking to you, only you, and not the thousand voices in his head screaming at him to get this done. 
“I know you’re scared, but” he says, leaning into your warmth. “Don’t leave me hanging here, please.”
“You sound so desperate, it’s kind of sad.” 
But there’s a softness to your voice now, a hint that he might be getting through. For a moment he was worried he wouldn’t be able to get away with this again, that you’d learned all his tricks since the boutique. 
It’s enough of a crack in your resolve for him to keep pushing. He slips closer, voice low. 
“Look, I know I keep asking a lot of you, but, There’s a pause, just long enough to let the ache in his voice sit, before he adds, “this could fix everything, everything can be okay.”
There’s a sliver of doubt in your eyes, and that’s what he clings to. 
“And when was the last time everything was okay, Tony?” You watch him in the bureau’s mirror. 
 “It could be. All I need for you to do is say yes, so I can fix this,” He squeezes your hand, the hint of desperation all but veiled now. 
And when you finally exhale, when that flicker of sympathy slips in, he knows he’s won.
It’s good enough. Better than he hoped, honestly. The relief slides into him like a tonic, loosening the tight lines in his jaw. He keeps his hand on yours, knowing the warmth of it will serve to distract from the creeping dread, from the hollow pit that’s been widening ever since the stakes got so high he couldn't see the top of them.
For Tony, this is all still just a means to an end. One step closer to true liberty and the life he was supposed to have. If he had to lie and disappoint–cheat and charm, then he’d do it. It would be worth it. In the end, the sum of his achievements would outweigh his sins.
He reminded himself of that a month ago, the night before he decided to have the gala. When the bedroom door closes, a sigh of relief escapes. He was lucky that you didn’t catch the conversation with Matt and Natasha in full. What he had in the works was sensitive, and he couldn’t have that ruined by anyone knowing the details in advance. He couldn’t lose you again, not when he needed you most. 
There is a shred of guilt as the elevator whirs down to the garage. You’re probably thinking the worst, understandably, but there wasn’t anything he could do about it. Only to pray his love was enough to placate you for now. 
Especially when he doesn’t even want to fucking do this. Each day seems to come at the loss of his autonomy, another suit on his payroll telling him what’s best for his life. It’s more deplorable when the people closest to him come up with the shittiest ideas to fix this. He can truly thank Pepper for his recent migraines (and a bunch of old ones). Filing for divorce was quite a move to try to get what she wanted, and throw him to the mercy of the Securities and Exchange Commission at the same time. If you listen to Matt, Tony’s mere minutes away from a cold cell. If you listen to Nat, Tony’s plummeting stock will be the sealer of his fate. And as of right now, two of the smartest people he knows can’t come up with anything that doesn’t come at the cost of you or his company. And he can’t live with either. 
Since, both their solutions arguably suck, he tells a lie or lack thereof to find a third opinion. Or a hail mary. However it’s called, it’s a long shot that he can’t be certain won't jeopardize him even more. 
The drive to Hudson Valley is peaceful, to the point he forgets his world is on fire. It’s late, or early, depending on who you ask. Few cars grace the road and he finds solace in the solitude. The radio is ignored for the repetitive rumble of the tires, until paved tar turns into rough gravel. 
When Pepper sent over the address, he wasn’t too surprised. She always rambled about moving out of the city, dreaming of cabins in the woods and sprawling hills. Tony could never wrap his head around living anywhere else. In retrospect, that was another early omen. They never even shared the same dream. 
He can’t say it doesn’t look impressive. A dark a-frame that strikes beautifully against the earthen spruce. Maybe that is why she had him drive all the way out here and not somewhere in the city. Part of masterplan to show him what she presumes he’s missing out on. 
The porch lights flicker on once he parks, and he makes his way up the stone path to find Pepper sitting just outside the door. She’s preoccupied with a thick novel, acknowledging Tony with the raise of a finger. 
It’s strange, being alone with her for the first time in years. She’s not dressed in Valentino but tattered college sweats he had forgotten about. Seeing her at the penthouse all those months ago was troubling, but this was different. Here, it’s too quiet. Even though he’s a few paces away from the table, he can hear the tension of her nails against the pages–the swirl of wind through her hair. Sure, she can’t control the environment but he knows this is a calculated move too. To make him wait, make him uncomfortable. Every other sense sharpens in the absence of constant noise. Norway spruce and duplicity. 
He’s losing his nerve and he needs this over. 
“Why the hell’d you make me drive this far out anyway?” He tries to keep a level voice, knowing she wouldn’t hesitate to use his irritation against him. 
“It’s the one place I’m certain your little spy hasn’t found yet.” she murmurs.
Okay, fine, so he’d used his son to spy on his ex-wife. Big deal, he couldn’t be certain she wasn’t doing the same. Plus, Harley had offered to keep an eye on her. It was a matter of security, not personal (mostly). 
“Can we get on with this?”
“I suppose,” she sighs, tossing the book onto the table. The thud reverberates, stark against the stillness of the valley. “But I’m not sure what it is you want from me–you did call me after all.”
“I did.” And he’s regretting it every second.
“So, what can I do for you?”
“You can start by accepting the deal Murdock sent, and let this be over.” 
Pepper chuckled, crossing her legs. “What are you playing at, Tony?”
“I’m not playing at anything–this needs to be over, you need to move on.”
“Oh please, don’t flatter yourself,” she scoffs, “this is all very rich considering you’ve held me in litigation for months, you rejected my offers over and over, so why the sudden change of heart?”
A cold chill and burning annoyance pull him closer to the table. 
“Yes, because I should just give you forty-five percent of my company–I can get it gift-wrapped too if that makes it all the better.”  
“That’s right, your ego won’t let you admit I’m the only reason you have a company to speak of.”
“Can’t you find an ounce of compassion in that gaping pit you call a soul, for me?”
“Such harsh words from someone who needs something from me.” Pepper smirks and stands once the heat recedes from Tony’s face. 
“Take the twenty percent, finalize the papers, and end this, or else there won’t be anything for either of us.”
She circles the table to stop in his view. Tony wishes he had a time machine.
“Let me guess, someone’s under a little heat.” she muses, voice high and dripping in sugary venom.
“Little is an understatement.” He steps back, hands tight in her pockets.
“And why would I give up my shares to help you?”
“This entire thing started with you, and the second it wasn’t convenient you ran. The least you could fucking do is help me out of it.” Tony snapped. 
“Right, and if I don’t?” 
She still laughs, because it’s all a good game to her. Entertaining to see him against the ropes–desperate enough to reach out to her. For once though, it’s calming. It soothes his anger and reminds him why he agreed to this at all. This time, he had an ace up his sleeve.
“Then I’ll tell just that to whoever needs to know–you know I have the evidence. You’ll go down right alongside me.”
In the quiet solace, for a moment, she’s outplayed. Her smile falters and brows crinkle. Truthfully, as much as he’d love to, he could never sell her out. But she had a terrible tendency of assuming the worst of him, and he was banking on that. 
“Please do, I’m sure they’d love to hear what I know about Obadiah.” 
Oh, so that was her ace.
A soft buzz vibrates his back pocket. He doesn’t need omniscience to know it’s you. He can picture it clearly–you, traipsing around the penthouse looking for signs of life. He knows you hate that feeling, and he hates to cause it. 
There’s a more pressing issue; not giving Pepper the emotional reaction she wants.
“You wouldn’t do that.” Spare words from some forgotten bin. 
“Not if you don’t force my hand.” 
A painful pause ensues. The valley’s fauna recognize the tension, silencing out of respect for the sound of Tony’s plan shattering. A true stalemate. Not what he came for, but his throat swells thinking about the aftermath from a war of attrition. 
He can’t let that get out, above all else. That’d be his dissolution. Stark Industries, everything he worked for would vanish. You, without question. You never see him the same again. The crafted image he sought, the life he was creating with you for you, it’d be wasted effort. 
“What’s it gonna take for you to help me?”
After another migraine-causing conversation, Tony slumps into the driver seat, shoulders heavy and eyelids even heavier. Fifteen minutes have passed since your text, and he wonders if it's better not to answer at all. 
[ everything okay?  ]
[ be home soon ]
Ignore. Deflect. Move on.  
The drive back to the city is less pleasant. Actually, it’s a nightmare that he disassociated through the moment he entered the garage. He was, tragically, fucked. There was no telling if he had the capital to replace whatever Pepper took, and he certainly couldn’t risk everything by going public. And if he didn't give Pepper what she wanted, he might be looking at a depressing future behind bars. And that was not an option. 
So he’s at the mercy of the ginger Judas who put him on the path in the first place. Go figure. There’s self-blame for entertaining this option at all. For not guessing she’d snake her way into the upperhand like always. This wasn’t a beast he could defeat with regular tactician and planning. No, he needed to surprise her–usurp her. Piss her off the way she pissed him off. Go against the grain and act in a way that she couldn't predict. Something she couldn’t maneuver around. 
So, when the mic graced his hands, and the coached words on his marriage, the marriage  he never asked you about. The marriage he couldn’t ask you about because he wasn’t ready either. 
He said fuck it, and did it anyway. 
He knew you would’ve said yes then, so you obviously would answer the same afterwards. Even if you were predictably, and understandably pissed, you loved him, and he intended to use that. Grand gestures were his thing after all. A huge public soiree was more on brand than some private dinner. And, he was Tony Stark. The man who got everything he wanted. Why would your hand be any different? Certainly it fell under the same bracket (and really, an argument could be made that he had your loyalty regardless–this was just a title). 
It was justified in his mind the moment the words hit the mic. It just sounds right– Y/N Stark. Like he should have made it that way a long time ago. For a second, the ceaseless pit of vengeance is taken over by something more. 
It;s even easier to justify when he gets a wave of childlike excitement over it. Imagining the ring on your finger, the life he could have with you. Palm trees and salt waves on a remote coast. No more Stark Industries, no more nightmares about cold federal prisons, just you and him. 
Then, in the crowd, he spots what must be Pepper’s lookout. A short, brayish man stays still while dozen roar in congratulatory apologize. Pepper should’ve coached him better, a clear sore loser in a room full of winners. 
The real reason he’s doing this comes back. Tony makes a quick signal to the guard behind him, and moments later the man is escorted upstairs. He used to hate doing this. But he soon learned that humanity gets you nowhere in this business. Still, he almost tells his team to go easy. Then he remembers the cold look on Pepper’s face at the valley while he plead for mercy like a sad dog. 
Fuck that. The man knew the risks. It’s not Tony’s fault they didn’t play in his favor. 
Out of whatever kindness was left, he makes a note to have his body dumped somewhere nice. 
PART SIX SOON
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robinsonprojection · 6 months ago
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Daerr Tnesada
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Ref Sheet I used for a commission
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smile-files · 1 year ago
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i'm just a ragdolly... :)
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nedseii · 1 year ago
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If you ever draw Jaime and Cersei together let us know :)
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Here you go buddy >:)
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layne-thepencilthing · 29 days ago
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hasn't every little christmas wish been sent?
have sugar plums been dancing in your head?
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sekai au 👊😔
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skitskatdacat63 · 8 months ago
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"Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily."
+ process(tw blood)
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Also, look at him, bloody little guy 🥹
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This drawing was inspired by several matador pics :D here and here:
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^ I don't think I'll ever live up to the second one ah. There's several pics of that specific guy just soaked with blood, and I'm uh a bit obsessed with then ITS FUCKED UP I KNOW OKAY! But I've not drawn blood in a while so it was a bit difficult so I added less than I would want to I guess. Also I'm obsessed with how often they kneel in bullfighting?? Like okay who are you arching your back and spreading your legs for-
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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa69 · 2 months ago
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Idek If Cafae Latte has a fandom on here but have a Bob!!
(Close-ups under the cut)
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glowexxy · 10 months ago
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the ai run phase me has awakened
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mortellanarts · 1 year ago
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Hmm... Akane witch design courtesy of Umineko brainrot anyone? 😳
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nickyroethemarinebiologist · 11 months ago
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Norrington but my only goal was to make him as shaped as possible
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non-plutonian-druid · 1 year ago
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this au nearly restores the comics size difference lmao
[ID: Luther and Five drawn as centaurs. Luther is a huge draft horse, Five is a foal. It is a loose redraw of a scene in s2; Five is shouting "I'm the daddy here!" while Luther cowers and looks around nervously. Five is doing his best to make himself look bigger but his entire torso is still probably about the size of one of Luther's knees. End ID.]
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sskk-manifesto · 4 months ago
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Ep 6!!!
#Biggest take away from the episode: @fandom Dazai can't be Atsushi's father figure if he himself says Atsushi's father figure is the–#headmaster check your facts#Second biggest take away from the episode: the worst thing the headmaster transmitted Atsushi ought to be the terrible haircut choices#Mmmmhhh I could spend another whole tag rant to talk about how much I dislike the writing of Lucy in this episode 😭😭😭#But I worry I'll start being perceived as someone who hates women if I do so I won't.#(But let me just say. I really really *really* despite the “what women [alien and mysterious beings] want is hard to understand and–#impossible to decipher and more often than not they will say the exact opposite of what they mean” stereotype.#Like I hate it to an intimate extent.)#I quite like Kyouka's backstory!! I feel like she's the most fleshed out female character with a compelling character arc and personality.#I really like her. Lucy and Atsushi working as make-do parents (very largerly intended. More like siblings who are dating but that sounds–#even worse) was very cute. And I appreciate how the events seemed to set off Atsushi's own reflection on parenthood.#The same doesn't happen in the manga since the chapters are placed in a different order.#Overall this is just an episode that when I was reading the manga for the first time solidified my understanding that me and b/sd have#RADICALLY different views on the world. But now that after three years and having long come to terms with it.#I suppose it's just something that's there.#Ususal notes about the animation just for talks. The lack of budget really shows this episode and in the second half in particular.#It's especially noticeable in backgrounds that are just... Not the stunning backgrounds that usually make b/sd's anime strong point.#So in turn the lack of details comes off as twice as evident as it normally would :/#The whole Atsushi / Tanizaki exchange at the start of the chapter until the headmaster's identity is revealed is completely devoid–#of host which has me just?? What happened here??? A track slowly building up tension is an almost automatic choice I'm just like.#What happened. If it was a deliberate choice it was a very bad one in my humble opinion#On a more positive note I really like whoever drew the characters “background appearence” this episode eheh#(you know‚ the more stylized one when they're not on close up)#And the drawings at the end of the episode daz/atsu twilight scene were good. Kyouka's flashback was also good.#That's it :)#random rambles#Oh yeah rip chapter 39 ss/kk scene ig :///
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