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yanderes-galore · 6 months ago

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I need to feed my Yuuta brairot so can I request a yandere concept for Okkotsu with Childhood Friend! Darling?

At the time of writing this (5/30/24), I have finally seen Volume 0 on Crunchyroll so I can finally do this request! Hope you like it! Warning, this is a bit long and is mostly me rambling. I was a bit too excited to write his character, lol.

Yandere! Yuta Okkotsu with Childhood Friend! Darling

(Volume 0)

Pairing: Platonic/Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Overprotective behavior, Manipulation, Mentions of depression/suicidal thoughts (Due to canon), Dark themes, Violence, Blood, Death, Trauma, Slight stalking, Dubious companionship/relationship.

The idea of this is actually a bit cute although unnerving.

Yuta's childhood friend in canon was Rika.

So I can take this request in two directions.

You replace Rika and end up being his Cursed Spirit companion.

You're different from Rika and have been one of the few other people Yuta is close to.

Both versions of the concept are intriguing but I think I'll stick to the second variation for the sake of simplicity. (I definitely want to explore the first version at some point)

Yuta was always a timid boy in childhood, often isolating himself due to Rika.

He was shown to be sick when young, maybe you met him and Rika in childhood?

When you were young you three were a trio, which would certainly keep Rika from killing you.

Rika, for the most part, reacts to Yuta's emotions.

As you grow up, Rika leaves you be due to how Yuta feels.

She's jealous at first, yet sees that Yuta would hate her if she hurt you.

Which leads to, guess what, you having them both to deal with until she passes on years later.

Yuta originally wants to isolate himself and not cause any trouble for you.

There's times he's wanted to end it all due to the amount of times he's been bullied.

However, he has you.

You try to help, even when Yuta is adamant on you not helping.

Especially since Rika proceeds to kill every single one of his bullies.

You're the only one he feels he can speak with.

But... he can tell you're scared of his Curse.

Yuta... is worried you'll hate him... which ends up driving him away from you at times.

It's worse if you can't see Curses, as you can't see the cause.

However, if you can?

Perhaps you're able to see Curses and are able to see Rika.

Well, even then, you're scared of what follows Yuta.

Even if Rika won't hurt you for Yuta.

You always knew Yuta as a timid kid and pitied him a bit.

Even in High School you tried to be close to him, hoping to still be supportive.

Unfortunately, Yuta may not see you again until after the events with Geto if you aren't a Sorcerer.

You aren't from a Sorcerer house, so you aren't quite sure what to think of Curses even if you can see them.

You're actually quite worried when Yuta goes MIA.

You two are in two different worlds now.

You're a non-sorcerer and Yuta is a Special Grade Jujutsu Sorcerer.

You probably don't expect to see him again after he changes schools.

So it surprises you when Yuta does eventually show back up in your life.

Due to you being a non-sorcerer, Yuta may feel an overwhelming urge to protect you.

After all... the Night Parade of a Hundred Demons attack gets to him.

He knows of Geto's hate for "Monkeys" and realizes how... weak you are compared to a man like him.

Rika has moved on now, yet Yuta is still as strong as ever.

When Yuta sees you again, his chest tightens.

You're so oblivious to all he's gone through... and he's changed so much.

When you see him again, you go to ask if it's him.

Leading to Yuta enveloping you in a tight hug.

Oh how he's missed you.

You notice Yuta is extremely friendly and sociable compared to his usual timid self.

You want to ask so many questions, yet Yuta's just so excited.

He knows he has to study abroad soon, but he wanted to see you again so bad.

He's seen so much although he's unsure how to explain it.

Yuta has learned to cherish the friends he has.

Plus he definitely has anxiety about you since Geto's Curse Users are still around.

He keeps thinking about how strong he is...

You just keep smiling and talking to him, rambling to him as you have no clue what has happened.

Yuta thinks he can work with that.

Maybe it's for the best you don't know about the Sorcerer world?

Yuta may not tell you what happened if you don't know of Curses.

He's just been busy and has gotten help for his more timid nature.

You may not understand... but why does that matter?

Best you just focus on catching up, yeah?

Yuta has a higher chance of being a platonic yandere in this case, but he could also swing romantic.

His first concern when seeing you is making up for lost time.

He's been away from any source of normalcy for a long time now.

When seeing you he just wants to keep close.

Yuta's more protective than he was when he was younger with you.

You're surprised but he doesn't fully explain it until later.

He's just... missed you and has gone through a lot.

That's how the obsession begins, when he's older with you and seen the horrors of the world.

He's no longer that timid boy.

He's a man who can kill to protect those he loves.

Yet to you, he's still Yuta.

You notice he's more controlled now and things don't die around him anymore.

Although you have no clue where's he's been.

Yuta is an intense yandere due to how much he cares for people.

His obsession is most likely derived from the trauma he's gone through.

He's seen his fellow Sorcerers slaughtered and injured.

You aren't even a Sorcerer.

You're his childhood friend... one he sees as naive.

So wherever you go, Yuta is tempted to follow.

You just think he's being clingy.

If only you knew.

Yuta would kill for you if a Curse User targeted you.

You're oblivious to Curses and Curse Users hunting you down, before you even know about it, Yuta's slaughtered/exorcised them.

Yuta's used to blood on his clothes.

He always makes sure you're out of sight and out of range before he deals with any threat.

Yuta gains the mindset of wanting to protect you in this world even more now that he's a Sorcerer.

He's so sorry he pushed you away when he was younger.

Now he can protect you! (Similar to how Rika did with him)

Yuta is friendly but can be ruthless when you're in danger.

He feels no one else can protect you like he can.

As your childhood friend... he'll take that role.

You can't part from Yuta once he decides to stick by you.

It takes him a long time to go for his abroad studies.

He can't fathom the thought of leaving you alone now.

You find such behavior weird, granted, Yuta has been clingy in the past...

Not this much, though.

Honestly, even if Yuta explained the dangers of being a Jujutsu Sorcerer to you, you'd be hesitant until you saw it yourself.

He may even tell you eventually as much as he hates it so you know to stay close.

Yuta is already a protector at heart, it's in his blood (Quite literally, he's related to Gojo distantly)

So it's obvious he'll sacrifice everything to keep you safe.

Rika's gone now, he knows that.

You aren't.

For the sake of Rika and his own well-being, he needs you safe.

It's too easy to die in this world.

Hopefully you trust him... right?

The blood on his clothes is necessary.

Unfortunately it's also a common sight.

There's no use being stubborn with him, either.

Yuta's going to be stern with you, after all, he's seen what this world is really like.

Yuta loves you, as to what extent is up to you.

He follows you everywhere until he's dragged off to study abroad.

Even if he is, I can see him asking someone to watch over you until he can return.

Like Gojo or one of his friends for example.

He'd rather die than lose you to a Curse User or Curse when he's gone.

So prepare for Yuta never leaving your side once he comes back from his studies...

You and Rika have protected him enough... it's time he returned the favor.

#yandere jujutsu kaisen #yandere jjk #yandere yuta #yandere yuta okkotsu

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boyakishantriage · 1 year ago

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Humans *bickering bickering*

Alien: what's. Going. On??

Human: good question, if I had to guess. Something about fashion.

Alien: fashion?

Human1: no, I say pink and green...

Human: ... I mean, they're arguing with fancy names, colours, photos. I generally-

Alien: no. How. Why would you argue about clothing?

Humans: *freezes and starts shouting at alien*

Human: hey, what's so bad about... *Thinks* Arabic fabric?

Human4: OH DON'T GET ME STARTED-

Alien: how-

Human: generally speaking, skimming fashion blogs for key discourse points-

Alien: no. How. How do you keep doing that?

Human: do what?

Alien: Every situation, problem. You're always so-

Human: calm.

Alien: Yeah. And you know-

Human: exactly what to say?

Alien: and-

Human: it's frustrating that I somehow keep finishing sentences so simply and easily?

Alien: ... Yes.

Human: dunno, I just. Plan a lot, scaffold and have a finger in every industry. I don't bother with the changing styles, but there's always something that stays consistent in those spheres.

Alien: ... Like what?

Human: Engineering nerds, constantly arguing over hypothetical problems and best ways to fix em. Same with philosophy, IT, film and a lot of creative or functional fields. More qualitative industries it's comparisons, things and ways to make thing appear feel etc.

Alien but how do you-

Human: I don't. I just scribble notes with eight layers versus the standard 3-5 layered notes.

Alien: How do-

Human: good question. I don't remember, just. Planned until i hit a wall, then worked around it, under it and through it.

Alien: but how-

Human: I told you, we lost a lot of information. We've learnt and figured out a lot with what we have, but we've lost so much that it drives a lot of people insane.

Alien: ...

Human: but, we just. Move on, write down what we know so we don't lose more and just. Go with it I guess, but I'm special. One of a kind as far as anyone or I can tell, and yeah. I make mistakes, yeah I get scared and yeah. I'll probably get into shit for being what I am-

Alien: but that doesn't answer any of the questions.

Human: Well, I don't have an answer for you.

Alien: but. How. You're so ready and yet you don't-

Human: *shrugs* Again, we lost so much. People, memories, techniques, history. we don't now what we don't, but if we fixated on that we'd never get anywhere. Worry about something that's important but lost, or worry about something that's less important. But here *baps the alien's chest*

Alien: ... But-

Human: no more buts, think about it later. For now, you've got your job and I've got mine.

Alien: ...

I still don't understand this species, words I've frustrated by my predecessors, but. It's difficult. Humans are so diverse, complex and hard to really understand. But they are also so, simple. So, paradoxical in how two opposing nature's can work together as seperate and as one. And the human's theories, friends. Network. All of it, it just. Doesn't make sense, yet it works. And we have evidence it's not just about being a human, but not a mindset or something you learn. While I have not changed much from this, the questions this raises which nobody seems to be able to answer. From the invasion to today, the final report and attached files. Nothing makes sense.

Human: that's. Kind of the point.

Alien: ... Who is this?

Human: hacked your device, this is a program that creates a window for me to type into lol.

Alien: What. How-

Human: human nature is complicated, messy and is more a catch all term to describe a kind of mindset. Nobody actually knows how, when or what it is. But it's like hope.

Hope is a lie, we all know it, deep down. But it's about trying, to be better and try even when it's hopeless. Pointless even, it doesn't make sense because when we asked why should we,we just responded

Well, why not?

#humans are space orcs #tag #Triage #Aura #lore shit #E

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elliespuns · 9 months ago

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I was wondering, would you mind introducing yourself a bit? Your age, hobbies (except for blogging of coure), music taste, your favorite movies, etc? I love the content you post and i love you and I don't even know you. I wanna know my favorite blogger.. lol. Only if you're okay with it

First of all, thank you for such a lovely compliment. I love you too and I don't even see your blog, mate!

To answer you; I was answering something similar once. This anon sent me questions and I filled them in, so if you allow me to just copy and paste those so I wouldn't have to type it all again (nothing has changed since then, honestly) then I'll be happy to oblige.

How old are you? I'm 30

Tall or short? Very short, I'm only 5'1 ft, 1,56 m

Sexuality? Eh, I don't like labeling myself but if I HAD TO, it'd say bisexual/demisexual.

Describe yourself briefly I'm an introverted dork that doesn't vibe with most people. I dig music, art, and I love a lot. I either love too much or not at all. I've been vegan for over 10 years now and I love funny people. Other than that, I'm just a very poetic soul that also loves to play video games from time to time and I write. I write a lot.

Something you like about yourself? I'd say it's my knowledge in English. I've been self 'learning' it for 9 years now (never been abroad) and I was able to learn the language to the point where it became a huge part of my life. Like I literally use it more than my mother language. That's a thing I'd say I like about myself.

Favorite hobbies outside your blog? I write; creative writing, poetry. Both fulfil my mind. Then I love reading (ofc). I also draw, play video games, work with graphic programs and I love taking pictures.

Something no one would guess about you I have a very high sex drive, lmao 🫣😂 and people would never say so about me, because I literally look like I have a ribbon buckled to my vagina.

Weird quirks you have Oh, god, I can't stand hand cuts. Like you can literally show me a video of someone having their throat slit and I'll be fine, but then you show me a vid of someone having their palm sliced, or simply just someone cutting their finger and I'll go all asdfghjklsdfghjk.

One talent you wished you had Damn, I wish I could draw from imagination. I can draw but I can't seem to draw anything just by trying to see it in my head. That's so fucking frustrating. And weird. Anyone else having this problem?

A word your friends would use to describe you Idk about one word, but my best friend says I'm the funniest person she has ever met, so does that count? Lol, Idk why she says this. I'm literally a potato.

Craziest thing that's ever happened to you Omg, trauma alert… when my boss (a 70 year old male) caressed the top of my head telling me I'm pretty.

Have you ever been in love? Yes, for over 10 years now (no, it's not a fictional character, lol).

What is your biggest fear? Fuck, it's hurricanes and tornados. I actually have a phobia, it's called 'ancraophobia' and it's a fear of strong wind. (I swear I don't fear normal wind tho, I'm not that weird, actually, ok?).

Why did you start this blog? When I came here one day I realized that there were only a few blogs that were dedicated to the game stuff. So I said why the hell not? I didn't expect to have an actual fanbase here, it's crazy. Love you guys.

Your favorite food? Lentils, that's the shit.

Least favorite food? I'd say meat.

Favorite TV shows? Okay, not gonna mention TLOU cause it's obvious, but the very first show that pops into my mind every time is Breaking Bad. I love this show to bits. Then I also love TWD, OITNB, Better Call Saul, Wentworth, This Is Us, Lost, The Killing.

Favorite movie of all time? My most favorite movie of all time will forever be Ginger Snaps (2000). I've loved this movie ever since I was 11. It's been 19 years ever since and I still love it to pieces. Aaaaah!

Favorite musicians? I love a lot of music, but my most favorite is Damien Rice. I love that guy and what he does. Right behind him are Cigarettes After Sex and Mazzy Star (just pure love). Then it would be Joshua Radin, The Hope Arsenal, Yaeow, The Paper Kites, The Smiths, R.E.M., Blur, BoDeans...

Do you have any pets? My chonky boi guinea pig.

#i guess i'll have to get used to sharing 'myself' with you guys sometimes #get to know your blogger i guess #the last of us #tlou #tlou blogger #the last of us game #elliespuns answers

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favoriteizzy · 1 month ago

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@e-vay

OMG I finally got back to WRITING!! I've been going through way to much but i'm finally able to take a break and get back to my favorite hobby and I'll be doing more fanfics later Also Happy late birthday E-vay this is for you

A Trip Of Rivalry

Ima do at least 10 parts / and if you want to write something or draw something about this fan fic pls use hashtag # A trip of rivalry! I am trying to be famous so this helps alot

While Amy and Sonic went to the client’s house, Shadow and Aurora had just arrived to the brand new Diamond Café. It opened up a month ago and Rouge told shadow about the place. Not because of the name itself, but because of how it looked. They Hopped of the motorcycle and entered the place for the reservation. As soon as they entered they would be shined with bright diamonds around the place with blue and white walls and white tables with such fancy chairs and many decor. Shadow started to feel guilty because he didn’t think this would be a well and fancy café, he thought the name was just something to catch customers in, but by the way this place looked, this was for people who were going on dates or a anniversary celebration. But of course those to were the only ones with normal clothes people would wear to the mall. After waiting only 10 minutes a employee came to escort them to there table. “ Thank you” Aurora said sitting down. “ Your welcome the waiter well be here shortly” the employee replied walking away to help the next person. They opened the menu and went to see the foods. Shadow ordered a steak medium rare while Aurora ordered the chicken Alfredo pasta. The couple talked about how their day was and their plans for the following week.

(TIME-SKIP because i'm still learning about how to write good dialogue sorry LOL)

They were halfway through their food and so far they had absolutely no complaints. Even shadow cracked a smile here and there because he honestly enjoyed his steak. "So...sense my parents will be working for a while how about we head to the park I'd need to blow off some of this pasta im full" Aurora said patting her stomach showing she was about ready to go. "Yeah I'm with you on that I could blow some fat off too how about a little race while we're at it~" Shadow said giving Aurora a smirk challenging her. "Oh your own mister!". Shadow pulled out his wallet and payed for the food. They exited the restaurant feeling full but satisfied with no longer feeling the need for food. Once again they hop on shadows motorcycle riding to the nearest park. Before shadow drives quickly aurora grabs her phone and snaps a photo of her and shadow riding around the city then sending to her mom saying "Having a great time tell dad I said hi love you both ❤️" She put her phone in her pocket and held onto shadows back as they get closer to their destination.

#sonic au #sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #amy rose #aurora the hedgehog #e vay #Happy late birthday E-VAY!! I love your art and you are one of my best inspirations!!!

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themsource · 1 year ago

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Five years of laughs and tears

Well as I am officially 30 now I have come to the realization I've been in this fandom for a staggering five years. As a small gift and a bit of a thank you to those I've met and have stood by me through thick and thin (the ones I haven't shared this with lol) I've decided to share a preview from the sequel to my fic 'Skeletons in Heat', called 'Skeletons in Love'.

I'll be honest idk if I'll actually get around to publishing the sequel. I fully intend to finish the first one but after seeing how it's still ongoing after all this time, and the sequel has been sitting half finished on my hard drive for the last three years, idk...

Anyways I've had both ups and downs; have lost loved ones and friends, gained a few here and there, Been tangled up in nonsense and drama, have participated in wonderful events, so on and so forth. I just felt I needed a pick me up looking back on all that, and this scene I'm sharing has always managed to bring a smile to my face and I hope it does yours.

For context, 'Skeletons in Love' was going to take place in Nightmare's castle and focus on MC and the boys trying to rescue her, Axe, and Dusty from Nightmare's clutches. Nightmare in this is able to manipulate and control monster's via their LV except for when he's asleep. That's all I'll say for now because that's all I think is needed at a minimum to understand what's happening. (Just on the of chance I ever do publish it you aren't completely spoiled lol)

This scene focuses on MC and Dusty. It was one of the first scenes I wrote and is called 'Dusty's Redemption'. Oh and because I'm a lover of song dropping in my fics, here's the one that goes with this scene. So have this uncut and unedited in all it's messy glory!

Thank you for five years. Here's hoping for five more <3

You jolted at the sudden influx of magic behind you, your heart racing as momentary panic blindsided you. Untill your eyes focused long enough to tell it was Dusty looking at you. You held your breath as you looked at his eyelights and let it out slowly. They were the same size.

“Guessing he’s asleep?” You whispered. Dusty grimaced and gave a nod. Relieved you turned back around and stared out over the expanse of rolling darkness again, your mind trying to detach again as your shoulders slumped.

“you shouldn’t stare at it. there’s things out there that aren’t safe to look upon.” Dusty murmured as he took sluggish steps to stand beside you. You chuckled lamely. You were tired, your hand cupped your bruised wrist, so tired. There was silence.

“you ok?” That question jarred you into looking over and up at him. It had been so long since one of the skeletons had asked you that, the bond between you usually telling each other instantly what the other’s mental state was. It made your chest ache to know that he couldn’t feel you, that you couldn’t feel him. It made you feel so alone.

But yet, him asking after you like that lit your chest up in familiar warmth and affection. Your being recognizing and longing for his as you’d discovered. It was nice. You didn’t think Dusty would’ve ever asked a question so close to concerned before the bonding, even after he’d always seemed distant even if his soul said otherwise…were you ever going to be able to feel him again? The others?

“Not really.” Dusty stared at you conflicted before letting out a sigh as he sat down next to you. He was thankful you didn’t jolt, still he didn’t know how to go about this. He’d learned a lot from you over the last two years but it had always been his brother to let him know when he’d messed up and how to apologize, how to comfort.

He had to push down the flare of hatred he had at nightmare for holding his ghostly sibling hostage.

Slowly Dusty looked at you and hesitantly touched your back. It hurt to feel how your body stiffened, prepared itself subconsciously for his abuse. It hurt even more at how his LV riled in want for that. He stilled and waited for the tension to go out of you and for his LV to die down before he slid his hand down to encircle your waist.

You had to swallow down your initial fear as he touched you, had to push the thought forward that Dusty would never willingly hurt you as he pulled gently at your waist to bring you closer to him. It was hard though and your body refused in contrast to how your heart and mind wanted to relent. He stopped and you took the second of respite to take a shuddering breath. When he spoke again it was near a whisper, a plea.

“c’mere.” The way your heart throbbed at the request made you screw your eyes shut. This was Dusty and even though he’d messed up countless times in your relationship, had hurt you in ways that forever stained your memories you did love him. And that love gave you the strength to scoot into him, your hand gripping onto his jacket as his body encompassed yours and slid you into his lap.

He simply held you, completely at a loss for what to do next. What would Paps say to do in this moment? He stared off into the pulsing void as he gently rested his cheek against the top of your head. You seemed to like that and nuzzled where he rested against him. He…he hadn’t done this in a long time and didn’t know how you’d take it but decided to give it a try. You always liked when the others did it anyhow.

A slow rumble, deep and cracked from disuse vibrated against you from Dusty’s chest. Your eyes widened. He was purring? In all the time you’d known him the murderer had never done this not even after your bouts of sex and the rare occasions that he held you, not really a cuddle but a hold nonetheless. His was oddly different, shook in a way that it was as if there was two going on side by side.

Dusty heard you make a surprised little noise and then felt as you pressed your ear to his chest. His face lit up in a purple blush that he tried to bury further into your hair as he tried to purr louder for you. He was rewarded with your genuine laughter, the sound like a bell in the silence around the both of you.

How long had it been since he heard you make it? He hadn’t realized it’d been so long that it almost sounded new to him. He’d missed it. All too soon you were silent again and he could tell you were once more looking out into the void. Dusty didn’t like you focusing your attention on it. It spoke volumes about where you were mentally.

Carefully he started humming, and the moment he felt your interest shift he gained confidence.

“When will you leave your cage?” You pulled back in disbelief and looked up to see Dusty staring off into the distance, his skull lightly flushed as he sang. “When will you turn the page?”

You couldn’t stop staring at him as his voice came out not as raw and passionate as Axe’s had but rather dulled and wispy, mellow and smooth. “When will you open the gate?” Your mind was utterly enthralled as he looked down at you, a hand coming up to brush some stray hair from your face gently.

“Ready to fly, ready to fly for me?” He rested his skull against your forehead, his mismatched eyelights locking on your hued orbs as his words came out full of weight and meaning. You couldn’t understand why he hadn’t wanted to sing before, it was beautiful. His hand slid down to your chest just over where your heart and soul rested.

“I can feel it now, you'll make it real somehow.” The simple gesture was enough to convey his words meaning without explanation, and you couldn’t help but smile. His own grin became soft and reciprocated as he pulled you into a full embrace, his words tangling in your hair.

“When will you fight all your hate?” The way he sang it, that line sounded more for him than it did for you. But you knew it was insinuated towards the despair you were feeling, the hopelessness and how weak you thought of yourself. You couldn’t figure a way out for the three of you and it killed the brightness you knew inside of yourself.

The image of Saejun smiling in reassurance as he dusted still burned into your mind, still made you want to weep and beg for him to return. Did…Dusty feel just as bad over that? Guilty over what he was made to do? Both his hands cupped your face and tilted your gaze up to his.

“Ready to fly, ready to fly for me?” It took your breath away to see adoration in his eyelights, regret and…fear? He looked as if he was being careful with you. He brought a hand away and you followed it to see a swirling orb of violent light twirl and form in the palm of his skeletal hand, the light twinging and shaping into a bird that stretched its wings from the pooled purple flames around its feet. You didn’t know the skeletons could make projections!

“When will you learn to fly?” Dusty smiled in amusement as you reached out to touch the solidified magic in his hand, coaxing it to turn its head towards you playfully and chuckling at the awed gasp you let out. If he’d known something so simple would please you he’d have done it long ago.

“When will you touch the sky?” You watched wide eyed as he lowered his hand and lifted it, sending the purple magical bird into liftoff where it buckled for only a moment before rightening itself and curving in an arch to circle around both your heads with a happy chirp.

“When will you kill your sorrow?” Dusty watched as you became invested in the bird even as he continued to sing. The words no longer just for you as he found nostalgia in how you giggled and reached out to prod at the bird that teased a distance between you. He could still smell your freshly made croquettes if he tried, hear the challenge in your voice at his antics, could still fall for you over again as he recalled the first time you’d passionately kissed him.

“The world is yours…” The words pulled at you and you looked over at Dusty whose sockets were lidded in his verbal declaration. “When will you reach the moon?” The bird lifted high, its form standing out against the false moon floating within Nightmare’s void.

“When will you drop the spoon?” The bird went into a freefall and you shot a panicked look over to it before it froze in its decent, it’s body still like a statue as it slowly twirled in place. It became engulfed in flame that slowly receded to show a small dancing figure, the flames remaining as its hair and at its feet like foot prints as it began to dance across the air. “When will you kill your sorrow?”

It was you. That little figure was in the shape of you as it spun and leapt; nothing but happiness in every bend of its arms and lift of its legs. Was that how Dusty saw you? So giddy with freedom and carefree?

He saw the sad understanding in your eyes and brought your gaze back to his with a tender hold of your chin. You weren’t supposed to look so sad and defeated. That wasn’t you, and that wasn’t what he wanted for you either.

“The world is yours.” You were so much stronger than you knew. Dusty could tell you saw the thought in his expression by how your eyes lit up in question. You had been through so much, at the hands of others and by his but yet still you had held your head up high. Had stood your ground against everyone that dared to try and break you. You had even laughed in the king of corruption’s face when he’d tried to convince you no one wanted nor loved you.

You’d shown how much stronger you’d been even compared to Dusty who’d broken under the manic glee of a mere child. You were everything he admired and feared. Saejun wasn’t the only skeleton that would’ve gladly given his soul for you, as tainted and vile as his was.

“When will you reach the stars?” The tiny magic girl jumped up into an arch, her fiery hair curling out into a circle around her that shaped into an inverted heart as Dusty held up his hand for her to land in where she morphed into a glowing and luminous ball of liquid fire that hovered as it shone purple light onto both of your faces. “When will you drop your scars?”

You nuzzled into his free hand as it ran through your locks, his phalanges tangling and smoothing it with each pass as his voice slowly grew lighter. You looked up at him with the strongest pulse of love you’d ever felt for him and reached for the hand holding his magic, the ball vanishing as his fingers laced with yours. “When will you kill your sorrow?”

You cupped his cheek and pulled his forehead to yours, a blush strong enough that it looked as if it was coming from you as well between you. His eyelights then did something you didn’t expect.

They changed.

Your breath caught as the color in them drained and faded out, the red and dark blue you’d grown used to changing to a startling sea shell white as they gazed lovingly at you. If you hadn’t known better you would’ve thought it was Sans looking at you, but his immense size in comparison to the shorter original and his scarred hands that tenderly held you kept his identity firmly in place for you.

“Dusty?” You questioned lowly. He shut his sockets as he softly brushed his nasal ridge to the tip of your nose, the way his grin twitched as if savoring it before opening his sockets again to still white eyelights. For some reason it brought tears to your eyes and you couldn’t stop them too beguiled by the monster in front of you. His tone had gone quiet.

“The world is yours.” Dusty leaned in, his soul at perfect peace as he kissed away the water trying to run down your flushed cheeks. He had forgotten how it’d felt to not have his magic constantly on guard, and he’d never felt safe enough to let it cool as he had now beside you. In a world of pain and suffering where only you two existed. He loved you, so purely and completely.

You flinched as you felt a hot quiver of affection in your chest, emotion that definitely wasn’t yours flooding into you like a wall had come down. You sobbed and pushed what you could through the link, all your love and desperation, all your longing and want as raw as the day you’d discovered it. Dusty’s sharp inhale soothed you and your tears became joyful as you felt the feelings returned to you in earnest.

“yours.” He whispered as he captured your lips with his, magical tears flowing into yours as your kiss turned heated and passionate. Too soon the link between you became muted and numb, but your souls continued to beat in tandem as the kiss continued. Your grip on the other scared to let go, and enduring. He let you break for air and you couldn’t help but let the words out, unable to send what used to be a passing reassurance through your link.

“I love you.” It was the first time you’d ever said it out loud to him that it shocked him. And then he chuckled, one so deep and rich it made your ears burn. Your voice joined his. Little did you know that that was exactly what he had needed to hear.

#undertale #undertale au #UTMV #Sans #Reader #Sans/Reader #Skeletons in heat #SIH #Skeletons In Love #SIL #Dust #My Writing #Skeletons and Timelines

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iantimony · 2 years ago

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tuesday!

listening: like everyone and their mother i listened to the new hozier songs this week. they're fine! i dont have any particularly strong feelings about them either way yet, i think i need to relisten to them a few times for it to really get processed, but they were good enough that i'll certainly listen again. i also went and relistened to wasteland, baby because of it and that album still slaps. also, this cherry wine cover:

is very good. i also relistened to the staves' album dead & born & grown because i realized i have windows facing west hehe. what else...my partner's citypop playlist was my music for driving home from the airport on sunday? i wont link that one i'm not sure if it's public or not. and then gym playlist this week was just one of the spotify-made mixes that kinda slams tbh, very early-00s to 10s metal/emo music lol

i've also gotten back into twilight mirage after a bajillion years. it's good! none of the characters really stick in my head besides tender sky and fourteen fifteen unfortunately but hopefully as i listen more they'll become more distinct entities in my head.

reading: i finished the birthday of the world while i was visiting my grandma for spring break!

"solitude": hmmm. this one was interesting. it left me with a lot of questions but i think that might have been the point. 6/10.

"old music and the slave woman": i think i might have benefited from more background, i was mostly able to piece together the factions but i definitely had to puzzle over it a bit. apparently there are a lot of links to stories in another collection, four ways to forgiveness, and i'm thinking that i might have wanted to read those first. 4/10.

"the birthday of the world": title story! felt very different from all the other stories in the book, probably because this one and the following novella are the only two set outside of the hainish universe. i liked it. no strong feelings in any particular direction, i don't think. 5/10.

"paradises lost": the novella! i LOVED this one. i dont know if i was somehow exposed to it as a kid, or i learned about generation ships as a story concept from somewhere else, but i often thought about writing a short story about what religion on a generation ship would look like and turns out what i was envisioning already exists. the concept of the cult of bliss felt very realistic and almost obvious in hindsight as something that was bound to happen. i know it's left open on purpose but i reallllly want to know what happened to the ship after it left. i really loved the themes of this one. 9/10.

watching: i watched an episode of the mystery show 'vera' with my grandma when i was visiting lol. it was cute! very kitschy, genre fodder! i liked it! i was very confused because the closing quip/shot seemed to be about the titular character...shoplifting a jacket or something???? like she asked her coworker if she looked any different and he was like ? and she was like ok great and the final shot is her sitting in her car seat and annoyedly ripping the tag off her jacket, so like, ???? not sure if that's a Thing that people know just from watching a lot of it but shrug.

making: iiiiii did not work on my knitting project at all LOL but i did make my neocities site! here she is! still very in progress but hey :D

misc: trip to visit grandma/s and family went fine! everyone is doing well. back to the grind this week.

oh so the gift from my SO: he likes metalworking and similar things so he made me this necklace!

it is, apparently, titanium with embedded sapphire ball bearings! the ball bearings glow in the dark after UV exposure and they're the prettiest shade of teal, it's also a very satisfying fidget texture-wise. he asked me a few months ago what my favorite constellation is and i went "......cassiopeia i guess?? why???" "oh no reason" this was the reason. it's very nice i love it so much

finally, ive started noting down my workout stuff on my dreamwidth page as well! i thought it could be cool to keep track of what weights i'm using over time, what exercises i like and don't like, etc. so that's on there tagged as gains. huzzah

#tuesdayposting #Spotify

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thepancakewitch · 9 months ago

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venting n talkin

Eeughh career wise I'm still not sure what I wanna do. I think I'd be an excellent therapist but I really love creating.

The most logical but somehow most arduous process seems to be becoming an art teacher, then work on my masters during that time. I just cannot stand being at my work for another year, I absolutely resent my coworkers and I know I shouldn't but ugh.... they're awful. I get to see a therapist today so hopefully that's all good lol. I also get to ask about my DID and hypersexuality and see what we can do.

I also got to smooch and cuddle so many people at Orc Wars, it was awesome!!! I'm so like, crushing hard on this one guy... I only met him a few times but he's been so sweet and kind. His fiance and her girlfriend are absolute angels to me, I think they're a wonderful throuple. I would love to be apart of it eheehh..... but back to the guy, ugh ^^;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; I haven't crushed on anybody in a bit so it's like really strong!!! He looked at me so tenderly and went, "You're so adorable" and I just melted into nothing then. My friend did my make up and he's like "oh you look amazing", with his big gorgeous smile and oh... gosh... He just held onto me and we hugged for so long, aaaahhh x333333333

I got to get closer to a friend, Blue, and we kissed, she was so sweet to me. She did my make up and it was like, I just felt so intimate with her all weekend. It's so deep and powerful being connected to a woman. Lesbian relationships are just so deeply connecting, I feel like ascends the physical realm and mostly becomes mentally stimulating. It kind of explains why I find it hard to be like my usual sort of aggressive sexiness, it's more like oh heeeyyyyyy how're youuu~~~ kind of a thing lol lol. I used to worry I didn't have a connection to women because I didn't feel the same as I do with men, but now I've learned it's different and I just enjoy the closeness so much. It's like the whispers of your hearts touch one another and become whole together... 🥲💖💕

I am so sosososo proud of my boyfriend for passing his blade master Apprentice trial, he was really mentally struggling but he did it. I was so happy I was able to like, bring him back to camp, nurse him up and basically give him all the support I could and he ran with it. It's so awesome watching him fight. I can't wait to fight alongside him.

also I'm gonna nest here, I told him like hey... I'm nesting here now, I decided after this event.... he's like, ohhh are we... are you saying we're more serious?? 🥺💖💕💕💕💖💖 and he got all excited and snuggled in on me, he's so sweet to me. I'm really fortunate and grateful for him.

....

BUT ALSO

I'M TOO MUCH OF A FEMININE BEAUTIFUL FAIRY TO BE IN A BACHELOR PAD. AAAAH.

NEVER AGAIN DUDE.

REFUSAL.

I SWEAR OFF LIVING WITH MEN, EXCEPT IF I HAVE ANOTHER WOMAN. Which would be p cool.

I have a feeling as well I'd love to be with Blue more, I'm gonna try to spend more time with her.

Man, I never thought in a million years I could be apart of such a deep community and feel so at home. I still will always feel a Lil out of place but that's my own issues I'm working on. I just wanna be the best me I can be and live my best life, and right now, all I know is I just wanna escape my job and be in a better environment. I absolutely love my other coworkers but my kitchen coworkers drive me fucking insane.

I'll see what my new therapist says and I'll go from there. It'll be good. :3

also eeeeee *hides face* eeeeeeeeeee

#Mabel Vents #more like mabel monologue

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1surfrocker · 1 year ago

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10/03/2023

So far I think I'm doing a pretty bad job of posting regular entires. The whole point of starting this was to keep a diary of sorts of my day-to-day so that I can refer back to my life experiences more vividly. I shouldn't look at this as a chore, and shouldn't approach it with an overly serious mindset. I'm not trying to write a novel here, or impress anyone with my use of words. Given the fact that I used to be an aspiring writer/journalist, it's very hard to break from that mentality and not write these entires in an overly wrought style.

I think that was in fact my writing style back when: Overly wrought. Too much style, not enough substance. I don't miss it at all.

Here's what I've been up to:

I took my mom out for her birthday the Saturday before last. We were going to go to the New Filmmakers movie festival in DTLA, but as I ended up being 45 minutes late stuck in a traffic jam on the 710 freeway, we instead went to go see The Equalizer pt3 starring Denzel Washington. 2 hours of watching Denzel kill the bloody shit out of bad guys as easy as you and I breathe air. I have to admit it was pretty fun. Afterwards we ate dinner at Hippo in Highland Park, which might just be my favorite restaurant in that part of town at this point. I've eaten there 3 times and it's always memorable. Some of the best fish I've ever eaten, and their bread is top notch.

The following day Amy and I measured, cut, and installed baseboard in the upstairs attic. Oh my god it only took us 1.5 years to get to this! The first hour of cutting was a real slog because we kept doing it wrong. Also, lesson learned: Next time get a double bevel mitre saw. Trying to adjust angles on a single bevel forces you to flip the wood upside down and right side over again in order to get the cut you need. It's like trying to read upside down. Not terribly tricky, but you need to get the hang of it. I only had to drive back to home depot once to buy more wood. The attic's looking great now and Amy's spending more time up there already getting things in order. It's her pet project and I want her to love doing it, which so far it seems like she is.

The entire work week last week is a blur. First time I've hit $33k GP since March (the writer's strike really put a dent in business this year) and I had to work harder than shit to do it, but it felt good to hit it.

The weekend came around and I took my mind off work entirely. Matt was supposed to come back over to pick up where we'd left off on our groovy goth-wave song, but he flaked (I think he was too hungover to make music, LOL!). So instead I was left to my own devices and started production for Passion, thus kicking off the start of my new In Fades album. I envision it being more electronic and more dancey than anything I've done in the past. But not without my patently flamboyant, overly romanticized style. Think Caribou meets Nick Cave.

Monday came around and I was still so damned tired from hitting my goal the previous week. Luckily it wasn't too busy. I continue to bring Barklie up to speed on all the ins and outs, and now finding more time for myself to prospect new clients. The idea of cold calling once again leaves an icy tinge somewhere inside of me, but it's nice to be able to have the freedom to do so once again.

I bought a gym membership for Amy last night so that we can go to LBR together any time we want to. We've been doing Acro Yoga classes together lately and it's been very enjoyable, and challenging, and a nice workout to boot!

This is about as properly caught up as I can make this post without going into tangents, so I'll wrap it up and move onto the rest of my evening. I plan to practice viola and if I'm feeling limber enough track it for Passion. That viola part will make that song come alive, I can feel it in my soul.

I might do some reading as well, but I have to admit I'm getting a little bored of this Richard III book. It's so very long.

Cheers

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lone-wolf-no-more · 2 years ago

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Do Empaths Dream of Happy Sheep?

Tuesday, March 7th, 2023 [Day 10]

More pieces falling into place mentally.

Firstly, I’ve decided that I’m not taking my phone out of airplane mode for any reason until I’m actually out of bed in the morning, and have done my morning exercises. My bed needs to be a place of rest and restoration, and I need to be reminding my brain of that.

Speaking of which, the “Magnesium dreams” didn’t seem as shocking as last night, which is good. They still feel weird, random, and frankly, unhelpful, if dreams are partly my brain trying to make sense of things and process them. Listen to me complaining about having unhelpful dreams lol.

But I still want them to partly make sense, I want to be able to use them to understand myself better, if anything. My dreams have certainty been more realistic, in their own weird way. Random text on things is actually legible, screens and devices work more like they would in my waking life, and the people who show up in my dreams talk and act more like real people.

I’m also having more of that phenomena where I compose music and hear it in real time in the space between being awake and asleep. If only there were a way to harness what I do in my dream time. Like, if I could somehow become better at skills because I did them while sleeping, and if I could somehow remember more of the fantastical things I experience and learn while I’m asleep.

I spent over an hour just lying in bed this morning contemplating the future, and what my next steps should be. There really isn’t any point in just launching myself willy nilly into the day if I don’t take the time to do this, and to remind myself why I need to keep going, to keep making steps forward. Then I'll just end up "running the clock down", and watching the day slip away from me, with no real overarching purpose. Seeing as the more I watch the instructional videos on day trading Nasdaq, the more things make sense for me, I don’t really see any reason to try to rebuild some sort of learning foundation anywhere else, at least for the time being.

Today I especially felt that urgency to be more in control of my own environment and decision-making. I believe that not only do I need to get more healthy before I can think about making more steps towards other work, I think that mentally, I need to get to the point where I’m living like a responsible adult. And that starts with the very simple steps of having my own roof over my head, and paying for my own expenses. That in itself will enable me not only to have a mindset shift to be more serious about being disciplined (like, "Oh crap, this is real now, I actually have to take care of myself, and have nobody to blame but myself"), but I’ll also be able to control my environment better, and make it more conducive to productivity, rest, and goal-reaching.

Heck, even that common part of adult life, that is, driving a car, is a scary hurdle for me. So again, before I can think about buying or running my own business (discounting day trading as one), I think I need to overcome some other mental hurdles as well. Which will put me in a better place mentally to be able to handle stuff like that. I mean, I can have lots of knowledge about things, but truly being able to have mastery over my own mind is the key.

I still severely struggle with worrying about displeasing other people in any way, shape, or form, and I inwardly freak out way too much if I think I may have “dong something wrong” or inadvertently maybe broke a rule or unspoken guidelines of conduct or manners.

Speaking of inward struggles, I also honestly believe now that part of the reason I get these mood swings specifically after sunset is due to what night has come to mean to me. I know this may sound super obvious at first, but it’s simply because it’s night now. The day is over, and I’m forced with this question, “What did today mean to me?” So, did my true self show up today? Am I really living like everything depends on me, even if there may others who are holding me up in some way, so to speak?" You see, this is the very problem with being dependent on others, versus working together with them to accomplish a goal, with your combined efforts. If they aren’t entirely on the “same page” as you, understanding your viewpoints, and what you’re doing (or not doing), then they may feel more pressure to change the situation for you.

Nah fam. Not for me. Not anymore. I’m ready to start shaping my own life, and get to the point where everything that should be “normal adult responsible” finally once and for all falls to me. Again, it will be only then that I can think about the next steps in increasing my net worth.

Okay, calling it a day very soon. Still with Captain Nemo and his Nautilus submarine, but I'm getting very close to the end of the story.

20,000 Leagues Under the Sea has joined my list of favorite books I've read for sure. I've found myself relating to each of the main characters in a way. The serious and mysterious Captain Nemo, the hot-headed and homesick Ned Land, the studious Professor Aronnax, and his faithful and often insightful servant Conseill. They each have traits and struggles I can relate to, even though they're in the midst of a crazy adventure. I'm for sure going to read another Jules Verne book.

My previous book was actually Jules Verne (Around the World in 80 Days), too. No joke, the ending of that one caught me off guard and brought me to tears. Again, very memorable and oftentimes heroic characters.

It honestly would be insanely awesome if somebody could make a radio drama or even a mini series that did these books justice. Sorry, the Disney adaptations don't count lol. I've seen that good story telling is still possible these days, and people do still care about it. The new Dune movie is one example. Has that "slow burn" feel, while still being a very engaging story (similar to Bladerunner 2049 in its use of slow buildup and amazing vistas). Then in radio drama we have "We're Alive" and "Derelict", both of which I could go on and on about. They both show a true love of good storytelling, and have characters that we can care about, and the missing ingredient so often these days (often replaced with selfishness and cynicism, even though these do have their place with good villains), heroism and selflessness.

Well, it is time to visit that world between worlds, the world of dreams and infinite, strange possibilities that is only reached through sleep. Until next time. Been listening to the Calming Classical Spotify playlist as I compose this. So many beautiful works in that playlist, like this one:

youtube

Sheesh that's gorgeous. Talk about dream-like music. Todaloo.

P.S: Kudos if you recognize the reference in today's title. And no, I actually haven't read the book that title is based on, although I'm familiar with the movie adaptations lol, much like with The Lord of the Rings. I believe that needs to change soon. I also think I should do an essay of sorts on at least some of the titles I've read recently. We shall see.

#Youtube

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insanetwocubes · 2 years ago

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four so sometimes I feel myself falling into black and white thinking with even individual people. Like they do one thing wrong and I basically completely forget that they ever did anything to help.

Mhm. I'm listening.

That's all.

And what do you think about that.

I think it's probably a cognitive distortion.

Mhm.

And also that. So because it's a cognitive distortion, it might be bringing me stress down the line.

Mhm. And where do you think that stress is going?

It's... probably making it out to feel like I have to do everything myself.

Ooh! Hey Flare that's a really good one!

And also it drives in the idea that people can't be trusted because they make one infraction.

*nods*

And. So. I guess they're not true.

And therefore?

Therefore?

Reword it for me.

Uhm. So I guess. I can still learn from the humans, even if they're not all perfect. And also that I don't have to do everything alone, that it's okay to stand on the shoulders of giants even if they are flawed. And that maybe people are just flawed. And it doesn't have to be the end of the world if they are?

Good rewording!

Thanks.

I feel like I'm still recovering from PTSD.

Flare, you have been in burnout for years and you barely just came out after we found a safe place. It's okay to still go through stuff.

Oh. I'm just. So many things that I thought were facts just aren't facts anymore. Like not everyone is bad. The people aren't gonna run me out. You don't have to fight tooth and nail for survival. And that lyke it's okay to be angry now?

*nods*

Lyke so much has changed!

I know.

It got better. And we're okay now. Finally. Finally we're okay.

Yeah.

We're okay.

Yeah.

We're finally okay.

Yeah.

It's scary. It's nice. I don't know. Thank you. I love you.

It wasn't all me.

You helped. I love you.

I'm part of you.

You're a genius.

You're not so bad yourself, One.

Thank you.

I love you.

Thank you.

Flare.

What?

Anything for you.

Anything for you! I'm indebted.

Don't be.

I love you.

Good.

I love you.

Good. Keep loving me. I like it.

I don't plan on stopping.

I don't plan on letting you.

Good. Don't let me. Let me die before I stop loving you.

I won't let you do that either lol

Good.

It's like we're in agreement.

We are.

I love you.

I love you more.

I'll let you.

I don't plan on stopping.

I don't plan on letting you.

I don't plan on being able.

I love you.

Sounds familiar.

Shut up.

Nope.

Good.

Keep talking.

Mmm... love you.

Love you, too.

Don't stop.

Sounds familiar.

You shut up.

No, you.

Shut up.

....

Not really.

I know lol I just don't have anything else to say lol

Okay. If...

Hm?

If you need to talk to me.

I'll talk to you.

Good. I like it.

I know.

It makes me happy.

You've said.

More than sex.

Really?

What, in comparison to talking? Fuck sex, man.

Okay, I'll never fuck you again.

You don't fuck me as is don't pretend!

Lol You'll get even less than.

In exchange for talks?

No.

Fuck you, then.

No, that one isn't happening.

Pussy.

Hey, it's not my fault you fucking melt lol

Shush! Geez!

Or what?

I don't know. What?

I don't know lol

Anyway lol Mwah. Love you, kitten.

Nope, that is not a thing.

Kitty-cat?

Nuh-uh.

Pussy.

Nope.

I guess I'll just call you, Flare.

You can call me anytime.

#things1said #things4said #dicerolls #txt #intersysconvos

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fridayyy-13th · 2 years ago

Note

It’s almost 2023, so let’s celebrate the good things that happened to us in 2022! List ten amazing things that happened to you this year and then send this to ten people who brighten your day!

hey Red, thanks for the ask game! :)

gosh let me think

i wrote two entire fanfics this year! they were just short oneshots, but still!!! that's not even mentioning all the fics i came up with over the course of this year, that are sitting in my flash drive as WIPs. (and yeah, i did lose two completely filled pages of notes for my hermitcraft fic, but dammit i'll complete it someday.)

i have a bunch of super awesome mutuals now! holy frick you guys are so cool.

the choir i'm in connects to a few annual competitions, and with one of them, i made it to the third round! last year i only made it to the second! the third round's not til like halfway through january though. not looking forward to the sight-singing bc that's hell but yknow what? it'll be fun

a friend of mine got me an ace pride pin and bracelet! i could tag her, she does have a tumblr...yknow what i will. @dragenta super big thanks for that, it meant a lot to me :)

THE MAGNUS PROTOCOL! WOOOOO!! and i thought i joined the magnus fandom late...i joined months after MAG 200! at the time i thought it was nice to be able to binge everything, but i was also sad that i had missed out on the series while it was airing. but hey! now i'll be there right at the start!

this is a hard list to make. uhh i got to watch a really fun play a few weeks ago! my local high school did a frickin awesome job.

i read It Devours! and it was very very good. carlos my absolute beloved

i also bought The Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives In Your Home a couple of weeks ago, i haven't gotten the chance to read it but i'm very much looking forward to it

i actually figured out a structure behind the story i want to properly publish (whenever that'll be, i'm still in school), so it's got an actual framework behind it now with morals and everything instead of just being me messing around with OCs. it's still very, very bare-bones at the moment but i've got the four main characters and the lessons they'll learn all sorted out. i think lol.

dang what the heck is a tenth cool thing from this year. oh yeah!! i went to a Halestorm concert earlier this year! i wore a mask, of course, i made sure i was safe/healthy before and after i went, but it was a whole lot of fun.

thanks again for the ask game! here's hoping 2023 is even better than this year

#friday chats #this year was kinda very ehh. not great #i *am* tentatively hopeful for next year though #posting this two hours before new years #so everyone who gets this ask from me might get it a few hours late but YKNOW WHAT it's fine

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whirea · 2 years ago

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Something here too now!

So I´m just posting here the things I´ve posted on SpaceHey, so enjoy the read! Also, I´ll prob start posting story stuff on here so cya!

So hi! Finally posting something haha. So I've been writing a story in secret for years now, I haven't rlly shown anyone only some small parts on my Instagram. But today I decided to share it here, I'm sick rn so kinda delusional from pure pain but oh well. Note please that I ain't anything good, I just write :'D Also, any criticism is welcomed! This is is a small part of one of my characters backstories (I rlly like to write backstories A LOT). His name is Kasai Funka and he is the ig main character (although you can also say I have like 10 main characters because I just can't choose-) and he is my baby boy. Anyway enjoy this little part of his story!

"When he was 6, he and his parents were driving a car to go on vacation to the seaside where they had a beach house. But the car started to twitch for unknown reasons (later his father learned that the brakes were tampered with and there was also a bomb under the car, classic), and before the car drove off the cliff the car exploded. Kasais father was able to keep the explosion at bay, but the impact pushed Kasai off the cliff. Kasais mother switched places with Kasai and then got impaled by a spiked rock. Kasai saw his mother getting impaled."

Now I'll forget that I posted this because it's hella embarrassing, love u and hope you are having a good day or night <3

Me here again sharing a snippet about one of my characters! Hope ya all been well <3

On today's block is Amari Ammar, one of my many lesbian icons (she´s taken, so back off-)! She can be a sweet little ray of sunshine or the devil's right hand, you pick your poison :3 If ya want a clearer picture of her go listen to "Harley Fucking Quinn" and come back!

And here´s that snippet from her past:

"She was walking around in the woods like she liked to do, it was quiet and calm, and she felt safe. Amari noticed a little bird at the side of the road, the little thing's wing was broken, and it seemed it was also sick from an illness because its breathing was slow but heavy. Amari picked up the poor thing and wished to help it, but she knew she couldn´t. She wanted to end its suffering like she did with her mother. If she held on hard enough, she could end its pain. It was easy, she had done it once before."

You can make your own conclusion if she turns out to be good or bad or even something more <3 I´m currently rewriting her story so I´m not sure what will happen to her either lol

Anywho, I´ll leave now and let ya chill, love you <33

And that´s all for now, love you and see you who knows when!

#original character #writing #writers on tumblr

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writemywaytoyourheart · 4 years ago

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Aim For The Heart | Chapter 1: At First Sight

Pairing: hitman!jk x female reader

Genre: E2L, romance, angst, drama

WC: 4.5k

Warnings for this chapter: alcohol consumption, language, stalking kind of? I think that's all lol. Pls let me know if there is anything else I should put.

tag list; @teresaisla @hopekookies @moonchild1 @barbellastyles98 @ggukkieland @mwitsmejk @yukiehyukie

summary; Jeon Jungkook is an infamous hitman, known for his inability to fail at whatever job is thrown his way. At least, up until now. Y/n, a kind-hearted and full of life teacher, is his newest target. Jeon isn't sure who would put a hit on this seemingly innocent girl, but fortunately, that isn't his problem. All he has to do is pull the trigger.

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A bright smile graces your features as you tuck the little star-shaped peanut butter and jelly sandwiches into a tiny container, just barely getting two of them to fit as you squish them down a tad bit in order to get the lid clipped on.

Then you grab a little tangerine and a cheese stick to drop into your lunch bag along with the sandwiches, counting the number of items aloud to yourself as they make themselves at home and then you zip it all up.

"Th-There we go!" You lift your lunch for the day in triumph.

Your phone startles you when it starts to ring, then you grapple in your purse to find it. You pull it out and answer right before the last ring.

"Hello?"

"Hey, girl! Are you ready to go? I'm downstairs." The voice of your best friend comes through the phone and you look at the clock on your microwave. You stare at the little black screen, confused as to why the time isn't showing up before remembering that you were never able to figure out how to display the clock when you bought the microwave three years ago. So, you hold your phone out to look at the time.

6:32

"Oh geez! I didn't r-realize the time. I'll be d-down in a minute, k?" You say, earning a lighthearted laugh from the girl on the other end.

"Take your time, hun. I'm not in any rush."

You thank her quickly and hang up, then you run to your room to grab your favorite pink cardigan and throw it on over your white shirt. As you're hurrying out and grabbing your lunch, you stumble and knock your knee into an open lower cabinet that you had forgotten to close the previous night after pulling a pan from it to make dinner.

"Ouch!" You hiss in pain and rub the sore spot, although it does nothing to ease the ache. Then you grab your purse and run outside, almost forgetting to lock the door. But you remember just in time and clumsily lock it before rushing down the stairs leading to the parking lot of your apartment complex.

Your best friend, Mina, is laughing. You can see her through the windshield as she waves to you. Lifting a hand to wave back, you don't realize in time that your arms are full. You drop your lunchbox and have to crouch to get it again, only taking up even more of your time.

But Mina finds it hilarious and tells you so as soon as you slide into the car and fumble with your seatbelt to get it buckled.

"Honestly, ___. I can't believe you're still single. If I wasn't straight as a board, I'd be head over heels for you and all your shenanigans." She states in a matter-of-fact tone as she pulls out of the parking spot.

A blush creeps up your neck and you try to laugh it off, "D-Don't be silly." You whisper, turning your gaze outside to look at the fluffy white clouds decorating the sky beautifully. You smile and lean your forehead against the glass as you imagine lying on a soft cloud, just drifting in the air.

"If you c-could go anywhere at all, where would y-you go?" You ask Mina suddenly, turning to her. Her eyes are focused on the road but she bites her lip in thought at your question. "Mm, probably Italy. What about you?" She's used to your sudden questions and ramblings, so she smiles when you start to go off.

"I'd wanna go up in the c-clouds. I wanna sit on one and maybe even see a r-rainbow up close! I wonder if I could slide down the rainbow..." Your brows furrow in deep thought. "Or would I f-fall?" You turn to her again and she glances over to see your signature puppy dog eyes that you use when you are either confused, upset, or want something.

Mina turns back to the road, a tiny ache in her heart that she hides with a bright smile, "Girl, you would ride that rainbow straight down into a pot of gold!"

"Really?" Your eyes widen and you feel your heart lift at the image.

She nods and you giggle happily, "You can come w-with me, Mina." You say confidently, your gaze turning back to the sky. "We can sleep in the clouds and slide down rainbows for the rest of f-forever."

"Sounds like a deal."

By the time Mina pulls up to the school, you've discussed everything you'd do up in the clouds and what you'd eat when you're hungry (stardust, you've decided, is the best meal anyone could eat.)

You unbuckle and gather your things. Then you remember something and turn back to Mina, "Oh yeah. W-When are you leaving on your business trip?" You ask a tinge of sadness in your voice.

"This weekend," Mina says solemnly. "I'm sorry I won't be able to drive you for a while. I'll be gone for a month this time."

That makes your heart sting but you manage a small smile, "D-Don't worry about me. I can walk! I'm gonna m-miss you though."

"I'll miss you too, buttercup. We'll hang out this Friday night before I leave the next day. How about that?" Mina asks kindly.

You nod enthusiastically and she smiles, "Ok, get your butt in there before you're late! The bell rings in half an hour and you can't be late on a Monday." She urges you and you nod, hopping out of the car and thanking her again for the ride, reassuring her that you'll walk home from work today.

You blow her a kiss and she laughs as you turn and hurry into the school.

You're all set up only a few minutes before the kids are supposed to arrive, so you go onto Pinterest and look through your fairytale boards, feeling a little spark of joy in your chest.

A couple of minutes later, the kids start streaming through the door, greeting you with the same amount of enthusiasm as you greet them. Your kiddos love you so much that all the other teachers are jealous and they let you know it every day. Of course, you have the sweetest kindergarteners and they're always the best for you.

"Hello, Teacher! Good morning Miss ___! Teacher, look at my new haircut!"

"Hi, Jina! Hello M-Minhhyuk! Kun, your new haircut l-looks so good!" All the kids have bright smiles on their faces by the time they've settled in their seats.

You always start the day off by getting everyone to stand and do a few stretches, then you sing the nursery rhymes you learned yesterday and start learning a new one. You honestly have as much fun as the kids during the school day.

"Ok, l-little ducklings, have a seat!" You get their attention and they immediately oblige. Next, is the alphabet that you guys have been working on since the beginning of the year. Every little one sings it perfectly all the way through and you give them a round of applause and they each get a little punch in their reward cards.

The rest of the day goes by smoothly, with only one temper tantrum thrown and that was resolved quickly.

It's nearing the end of the school day and the kids are all playing during their free time. You're sitting with Ae-Cha, a small and fairly quiet girl, playing with colorful blocks; the both of you competing to see who can build the highest tower. You've learned that she responds well to playing games when there isn't too much talking involved.

You're constantly glancing around the room to make sure everyone is safe and playing nicely and you're always pleased. They've all improved so much since the beginning of school back in September. It's June now and they've all learned their alphabet and how to play nicely with their new friends, along with so many other things. They've really made you so proud this year. You can even hear them reciting the alphabet and nursery rhymes to each other as they play.

Your heart warms at the sound of tiny voices filling the room as they sing. Then you glance at the clock and realize the bell will be ringing in a few minutes. So, you declare Ae-Cha the winner with her foot-high tower of blocks and she beams proudly. Then, you get up and clap three times, "One, two, th-three! Eyes on me!" You singsong, then smile when the kids immediately respond by clapping twice and shouting "One, two! Eyes on you!"

"G-Great attention today, everyone! Alright, the bell will ring soon. Who can tell me w-what that means? What are we doing n-now?" A few little hands go up and you point to the little boy that raised his first, "Yes, Joon Woo?"

"We...Uhm...time to clean up toys...Uhm..." You smile to encourage him and he finishes cutely, "Time uh, to clean up our toys and pack bags."

"Yes! Thank you, Joon Woo. It is t-time for us to clean up and make sure our bags are packed up and ready for h-home!"

The kids start to pick up their toys as you put on the cleaning song that you play every day for them. You all sing along until the room is all tidied and their bags are packed with their homework papers.

You always give them little mazes to do for homework to get their little brains to learn to concentrate, along with instructions on what to draw to show the class the next day. Today, their homework is an extremely easy maze, a coloring page with the alphabet and instructions to draw themselves doing their favorite activity. The kids always love drawing pictures and sharing them with the class and it's a good ice breaker for the shy ones at the beginning of the day.

You always have less and easier homework for the kids on Mondays and Fridays, it just seems fair to you that way. You also feel like it's good for kids to express themselves and be able to share what they like and dislike. You've found drawing helps with communication and creativity for the kids in your class.

The sound of the bell ringing makes a few of you jump, then you hurry to the door. "Alright, ducklings! T-Time to line up!" A few of the kids make quacking sounds as they line up, giggling and talking to their friends.

You smile and open up the door, holding it as the kids walk out in a straight line, some of them still quacking like little ducks.

You lead the kids to the front of the school and make sure they get into the correct line for the bus if they take it. You wave goodbye to them as the kids that take the bus climb on and they run to a window to wave back to you.

The rest of the kids that are left are soon picked up by their parents or siblings. You wave to Ae-Cha, the last student to be picked up. She smiles shyly and waves back before hurrying after her big sister.

After that, you go back to your classroom and finish a few things before packing up to go home. As you're leaving your classroom, you run into one of the other teachers coming from his own room.

"Oh, h-hello Mr. B-Baek!" You bow, missing the ugly sneer on his face as you smile brightly at him. He pushes his glasses further up his nose as he scrutinizes you with his beady little eyes. "You don't belong here, Miss ___." He snaps.

You look at him in confusion, "I-I'm sorry, I don't understand."

"I've waited the entire school year to say this to you. But now that we are nearing the end, I think you should know that you have no business being a teacher at this school. You ought to make the right decision to discontinue your work here." Mr. Baek watches your face fall with a sick sense of satisfaction.

"B-But, why?" You ask, still not understanding.

"First of all, you're inexperienced. You just got out of college last year, am I right?"

You nod uncertainly.

"You're still a child. Why should a twenty-two-year-old girl come marching in here and take a spot that should have been given to someone with more experience? And especially someone like you." He glares at you before turning on his heel and walking away briskly.

Someone like me? What does he mean by that?

You watch after him, feeling a tiny pinch in your chest. You aren't sure what he means, but whatever he's talking about, it sounds like he believes you shouldn't have become a teacher at all. At this school or another. You'll have to ask Mina later because you really have no idea where his rant came from.

Is there something wrong with you becoming a teacher?

You shake your head and laugh it off, "He's probably just had a bad day." You tell yourself as you make your way out of the school.

As you walk home, you sing quietly along with the song in your headphones, a little skip to your step.

You never notice the dark figure across the street, his eyes trained on your every move.

One day earlier...

Jungkook groans as he tosses and turns in bed, searching for his phone to turn the alarm off. He finally finds it and hits dismiss, tossing the phone back down and rubbing his eyes with a tired yawn.

After another minute he sits up and looks out the window, frowning at the sun seeping in and pooling across his floor in a golden river. He stares at a small bird that lands on his windowsill until it flies away.

Jungkook yawns again and reaches up to rub his eyes for the second time. After a few minutes, he's finally able to drag himself out of bed and into the shower. He almost falls asleep again in there, but he manages to make it out after half an hour.

With a towel wrapped around his waist, he makes his way to the kitchen and grabs a bottle of soju that's sitting on his tiny dining table to take a small swig from, finishing off what he'd left last night after his third bottle right before he passed out in bed.

He sighs and grabs a bagel, searching for the cream cheese he swears he saw in his fridge last night. A small smile appears on his lips when he finds it. He snatches it and makes sloppy work of spreading it on his bagel before tossing the leftover trash onto his counter and plopping onto the couch, snarfing down the first half of his bagel in thirty seconds.

Jungkook sighs through his nose as he tiredly chews his breakfast, then he glances down and sees the file he'd left open on his coffee table last night. He swallows the bite he has in his mouth and leans forward to read over it.

Y/L/N Y/N...

Why is that name so familiar?

He shakes his head and flips the file closed, then he leans back on the couch, wanting to spend his Sunday relaxing before he has to get to work on this case. He isn't going to think about it again until tonight.

Jungkook settles down and lays his head on the back of the couch, closing his eyes and breathing deeply.

He won't think about it.

Jungkook lays there for a minute, then he opens his eyes and lifts his head, glaring at the closed file on the little table.

He grunts in annoyance and drops the other half of his bagel onto the table, grabbing the file angrily and sitting back again. He opens it and starts to reread everything he's read many times since Friday. There's just something that has felt off since he met with Mr. Ling, but he can't put his finger on what it is.

Jungkook squints at the name he's read a thousand times.

Y/L/N...Y/N...

"Ugh." He rolls his eyes, frustrated at not being able to remember where he's heard that name before. Then he looks at the occupation.

Teacher at Sunshine Kindergarten.

His brows furrow again, much like they have each time he's read this. He's never had a hit on a teacher before, let alone a Kindergarten teacher. That's such an odd target...

Most of his targets in the past have been sleazy business owners, rapists, leaders of gangs that have terrorized neighborhoods for years, even other hitmen. He's never had a problem with those jobs, but there's something about this one that's telling him to be careful.

Maybe it's because he knows nothing about his client, except for the large sum of money he must have due to the pay he's been promised. Other clients of his were more than happy to explain why they wanted him to do what he does. They never paid him until after the job was done, either.

That leads Jungkook to believe that this guy (or girl) is desperate for his services, convincing him to do it with payment before and after. Almost as if Jungkook would refuse after he found out who the target was...

Jungkook flips the page and scrutinizes the picture of the target.

She's very simple looking, Jungkook thinks. The girl in the picture is wearing a white flowy skirt with a blue blouse that covers her whole arms and white chunky tennis shoes. Her hair is in a low ponytail and it seems like she has headphones in as she walks down the street. There's a tiny smile on her face as if she's thinking about something that makes her happy.

Jungkook doesn't find her particularly beautiful, but she isn't ugly either. She's just very...

Simple...

Jungkook shakes his head, his eyes going over the photo and the girl's smile one more time. Maybe she's a double agent? Or a part of the mafia disguising herself as a school teacher?

He can't figure it out.

It doesn't matter much though, the job seems simple enough and the pay is more than he's ever gotten. After looking through everything once more, Jungkook closes the file and grabs his bagel, quickly eating it before getting up to get dressed for the day.

That night, Jungkook lays out his outfit for the next day.

It's all black, but not suspicious-looking. After all these years, he's been able to design the perfect outfits to avoid attention being drawn to him and simple enough so that no one would think much of him if he were to catch anyone's attention.

It might seem simple, but he prides himself on being able to get each part of his job perfectly designed for each case he gets.

Heaven knows it's taken him years to accomplish.

After he's gotten that all figured out, he walks over to his closet and pulls out a small safe. Setting it on the bed, he swiftly unlocks it and looks inside. He pulls out a few things, examining each of them before he sets them one by one onto his bed. Once he's got the items all laid out, he steps back to look it all over.

"I should wait to decide..." Jungkook mumbles to himself. After a minute of staring at everything, he nods and gathers it all up, carefully putting it back into the safe and locking it tightly. Then he brings it back to his closet and shoves it into the darkest corner where it lives.

That can wait.

He pulls his phone out and checks the time.

11:45

"Damn it," Jungkook mutters. He had wanted to get some sleep earlier tonight since he would have to be awake early tomorrow.

He changes into some shorts, then he yanks his shirt off and immediately climbs into bed, not even bothering to shower or brush his teeth. He really couldn't care less with how tired he is. And he hasn't even started yet.

His alarm blares at an ungodly hour as Jungkook groans loudly, resisting the temptation to chuck his phone across the room.

"I hate Mondays." He mutters angrily, setting his phone back on the nightstand far from gracefully.

He miserably drags himself out of bed and into the shower, going through his morning motions almost like a robot. His brain isn't fully awake and it's just on autopilot right now.

An hour later, he's just finishing his coffee, his eyes no longer squinting in exhaustion. Jungkook unceremoniously drops his coffee cup into the sink, promising himself he'll clean it up later, then he sighs as he grabs his black boots, walking to the couch to sit and pull them on. After he's done lacing them up, he grabs the file he's been avoiding like the plague since yesterday morning.

He mutters to himself, looking at the name on the page.

"I know that name."

Then he smacks his forehead to get himself to focus again. He stands up and folds the page with the girl's information and then her picture and tucks them into the inside pocket of his black jacket.

Time to get to work.

Jungkook spots the girl almost instantly, the second she steps out of a black car. He glances at the driver, but can only see a person with shoulder length black hair waving. The girl from the picture has a bunch of things in her arms as she blows a kiss to the short-haired driver.

Jungkook has been here since six-thirty in the morning and just as he was beginning to think she called in sick for work, he's finally gotten a chance to see this girl in person. She looks exactly as he remembers from her picture...plain.

She's even wearing the same white skirt and chunky tennis shoes, although this time she has a different top. Her hair is in a high ponytail this time.

"Well, ___. Nice to meet you." Jungkook mutters, watching closely.

After a moment, the black car drives away as the girl scurries into the school, tripping on the last step before straightening herself out again, then disappearing from his sight.

Huh.

Jungkook stares at the door for another minute, then he makes his way to the stores nearby, knowing he's gonna have to wait until the girl leaves. School for the young kids typically gets out at around three-thirty. So, he'll have to be back here around then.

He's definitely going to need to find something to do to kill time.

Jungkook heaves a sigh of relief when he hears the school bell finally ring.

He hurries from the clothes store he was browsing and down the street a block until he's almost across the street from the school. He finds a good spot where he can sift through some newspapers at a little stand and still have an eye on the school.

After a minute, he sees a long line of tiny children coming out from the school. The girl is with them and smiling brightly. Jungkook thinks he can hear some of the kids quacking like ducks. He tries not to look puzzled as he goes back to talking to the person working the paper stand. Jungkook makes small talk with the old man, still keeping an eye on the girl across the street as she waves to each child that leaves.

If she's some mafia boss disguised as a kindergarten teacher, she's one hell of a good actress.

"Do you have a girlfriend?" The old man inquires curiously.

Jungkook laughs softly and shakes his head, "No. I've been so busy with my work I never got the chance to date."

The man nods knowingly. They chat a bit more and Jungkook finds himself trying to balance talking to the man and watching the girl.

"Well, did you want to buy a paper for the day?"

Jungkook turns his gaze back to the old man and nods, "Yes. Two, please. My neighbor would probably enjoy one as well."

The old man laughs and nods, taking the money Jungkook hands him and giving him two papers, "What a kind young man you are. Someday you'll find a lovely young lady, don't you worry, son. You will realize that work is important, but love is even more so."

Jungkook just laughs and thanks the man, then he opens the paper as he slowly starts walking, pretending to read.

He stops at a bench and sits down to wait. The girl went back into the school a few minutes ago, hopefully, she won't be in there long.

Luck seems to be with him today, because, after only about five minutes, Jungkook sees a familiar white skirt flowing as she skips down the steps of the school.

He folds his paper carefully, tucking it into his back pocket. The girl puts little earbuds in and immediately starts to mouth the words of whatever song she's listening to. Jungkook tugs his black baseball cap down a little more as he follows on the other side of the street.

The girl has a bag decorated with cupcakes and cookies that bounces up and down as she dances a little.

What is she, twelve?

Jungkook watches in confusion as the girl stops to pet a dog, giggling when the puppy licks her hand. She straightens up, then after another minute, she seems to get distracted by something else.

Jungkook looks carefully and notices she's picked up a flower that was laying on the ground, seemingly trampled on. She gently holds it in her hands as she continues on her way. It goes on like this for the next fifteen minutes, the girl waving to people and smiling almost the whole way.

By the time she is walking up the steps to her apartment, Jungkook is dying to just get back home. That must have been the longest most annoying walk he's ever taken while tracking someone. The girl had stopped over twenty times, distracted by something else each time, he's sure of it.

Just to be sure, Jungkook lingers around the apartment building a little longer, but when it seems apparent that the girl is going to be staying there, he finally heads home.

Geez, Jungkook thinks in annoyance as he climbs the stairs that lead to his own apartment. His head is spinning with so many questions while he unlocks his door and yanks his boots off with a groan.

But when he plops down onto his bed in his tiny studio apartment, he just stares at the ceiling, his mind suddenly blank apart from one question.

Who in the hell would put a hit on this girl?

a/n: I hope you guys are liking the setup so far, thank you for all the positive reactions from the prologue!

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rollercoasterwords · 2 years ago

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I love the new chapter! Your writing is amazing:)

Do you have any writing tips you use that you’d be willing to pass on?

hi this response is v delayed so the ch is no longer new but thank you!! 💕

i wish i had more/better writing tips but i feel like a lot of my writing process is largely intuitive and isn't coming so much from me like...thinking through "oh x works really well and y doesn't work well" yknow? that being said, there are 2 things i can think of that have sort of been helpful realizations for me over the past year or two (these will probably sound very generic and are most likely things that thousands of other people have already said, but for me personally they were both just driven home recently so bear with me lol)

1 - no writing is bad writing!!

i know this is so cliché but like...i personally am a big perfectionist and sometimes i'll give up on a project if i feel like i can't get it just right, so i think it took me a while to accept the fact that literally everything i've written (including the embarrassing fanfiction from high school and the god-awful self-insert oc stories from middle school) has contributed to getting to the point i'm at now, where i'm pretty confident in my ability as a writer :) writing is a skill just like playing an instrument or learning a language; you have to practice to get better, and any time spent writing is practice and is helping like...build creative muscle or whatever. i have years and years of bad writing squirrelled away on flash drives and old word docs and dusty corners of the internet, and most of it makes me cringe to look back on, but none of the time spent writing shitty stories was time wasted because i had fun doing it and it ultimately helped me improve! so rather than focusing on perfection in writing or worrying about making sure it's good, i think it's honestly more important to just focus on enjoying the process :) which leads me to my second point...

2 - write stories that you want to read!!

again, this might seem obvious and self explanatory, but i feel like especially with social media and influencer culture and the late capitalist hellscape we're all descending into there's this mentality that you need an audience to validate the things you're creating, like art and literature should only exist to be consumed. and i think this mentality is damaging for a lot of reasons, but the one i'll focus on right now is that i think it's incredibly easy to get burnt out when you're creating for other people.

like, ok. i feel like i've had the greatest personal growth with my own writing over the past year and a half, and it started because i was just like "fuck it i want to read the captive prince series from laurent's perspective," and so i wrote it. and part of me was like - oh, this isn't real writing because i'm just rewriting a book series, i'm not coming up with a plot or making up my own characters, etc etc. but the thing is i had tried to write original novels in the past and had always just hit a plateau partway through, so even though part of me was like oh there's no purpose to this, it's not like it's something i'll ever be able to publish--it was just fun! like i was just genuinely having a good time! and it ended up being really good writing practice, because i got to just focus on this in-depth character study + also prove to myself that i could sit down and churn out a book-length work of fiction, even if i was following someone else's plot.

and so then i sort of got out of my own head about like...only ever writing with the ultimate goal of publication in mind, and started focusing more on just writing for fun. and that led to atyd - sirius's pov, which sort of exploded, and then i found myself starting to get bogged down again in focusing on like -- oh, how many people have read this chapter, how many people have commented, what good things are people saying, what bad things are people saying, etc etc. and i started to get in my own head again about the fact that i was rewriting a story, the kind of impostor syndrome mentality of like "well this isn't real writing because it's not 100% original" etc etc etc. and so any time i started worrying about how my writing was being ~consumed by an audience~ i had to like check myself and take a step back and remind myself that at the end of the day, i was writing for me, because it was a story that i wanted to have and to read and while it was amazing and so so special to have so many people invested in the project, it was never really about providing a story for an audience--that was just a happy side effect and not something that i could sustainably centre my writing process around.

and again, even though i was following someone else's plot and building on an already-existing world and characters, sirius's pov helped me grow so much as a writer and also gave me the confidence to feel like i could actually, feasibly write a novel on my own, which is genuinely something that i never knew whether i'd be capable of because i struggled so much in the past. but now i'm essentially writing my own book with this dorlene fic, and i don't think that's something i'd have been capable of a year ago!

anyway, all that is to say -- don't worry about whether your writing is "serious" or publishable or something that will appeal to a broad audience, and try not to measure the worth of your writing based on other people. write a story that you want to read, because the best way to avoid burnout is to make sure that you're having fun writing! like even when i need a break from actually writing my current fic, i'll still find myself thinking about future scenes i want to write + daydreaming + planning it out in my head because it's a story i want to read, and that's what gets me excited to continue writing it! it's really fun to share your writing with an audience and it's so so so amazing to hear that your work resonates with people (seriously, cannot emphasize enough how much i appreciate those of u who send messages like this + leave comments + kudos + all that 💕), but for me the biggest breakthrough i had with my writing was realizing that my most important reader is myself (as cheesy as that is) 🕺 💞

#this got soooo long #basically just turned into me reflecting on my own writing ~journey~ lol #but at this point if ur still following me i feel like essays are expected #ask #thtf #writing tips

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