#Oh also husk would never call him anthony | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

androgynousblackbox · 4 months ago

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The Horror of Our Love. 4 [Appleradio, Radioapple]

The Radio

"It took a little more money that we would have prefer to. I worked to get lowest price that she was willing to accept and still was a good amount. I think she only relented when I told her that we investigate objects such as that one to know about them. In the end she made me promise that I would send her back any updates on whatever we could learn about the radio and the ghost that was using it. She liked the voice of the man. It was scary, but still someone to keep her company when her own grandsons wouldn't call back. The man in the radio was never agressive or threatening. He seemed content with just talking, or at least that is the impression that she got after the first exorcism failed. We promised everything she wanted with zero intention of doing it. She seemed like an actually nice lady, she shouldn't have to be involved on any of this.

I came back with my pockets almost entirely empty. The conversion of wizard money to muggle money is fucking bullshit. But I got it. I fucking got it.

They weren't kidding when they said this fucking thing was heavy. It's on top of my desk and hasn't done anything until now. The old lady said that the first day it also didn't do anything on her store. It was only after some people looking around and messing with the dials is that the noises started. There were some stations in which it didn't react at all. We need to find the ones that does.

It's exactly as we were said. There is no cable, no battery. Whatever powers this thing is not electricity. I will have my record player near it as we test it out.

Nothing yet?"

"No. Wait. Yes, it did something, isn't it?"

"Sssh, I wanna hear. It's music."

"Old ass music. My grandpa would hear something like that. Do we even know if this thing can hear us?"

"It knew to laugh at the muggles, so something knows about what happens outside of it. Keep looking on the stations, maybe one of them is for communication. Don't look at me like that. I don't fucking know, angel."

"Hello? Alastor Magne, can you hear us? Hello, can you hear us? Hello?"

"Do you know who I am, my good man? That is a new one."

"Ah, fuck! That gave me a heart attack. Okay, now I understand the old lady."

"That is him. Hey, Alastor Magne? Do you recognize my voice?"

"No, I don't believe so. Should I? Are we friends?"

"That depends. How old are you now?"

"I was 24 years old when I was made."

"Then no. We met you way after that."

"How long after?"

"Last we knew about you, you were on your 40s."

"And after that?"

"We don't know. That is what we try to find out."

"I see. What about Luci? Do you know who he is?"

"Yes. You told us about him."

"I did? That is such a big relief then. You must have been very good friends for that to happen. I wouldn't trust that information to about anyone."

"Yeah, totally. Husky here was your favorite student ever in fact. That is why you made him into your little assistant for the class."

"Angel."

"What? It's true."

"What a delightful surprise that we happened to find each other again in these circumstances! For you, I mean. To me you are still a pair of strangers. Do tell me, Husky, my friend, what did I say about my Luci?"

"First of all, you call me Husk. Husky is Anthony's thing."

"Ah! Duly noted."

"Just that you adore him to bits and want to kiss him and cuddle up under the stars to see how his scales shine under the stars. He did! I saw it with my own two beautiful eyes."

"R-really? Then… we must had have a pretty close relationship then."

"Favorite student ever. Never lost contact not even after we graduated. Right, Husky?"

"Sure. I mean, yeah."

"For so long the only other person I could talk to about him was Rosie. I didn't thought anyone else would understand."

"Oh, but we understand completely, professor. In fact, if anything, we want to hear more about it. All the details if you can! Don't listen to that grumpy pants groaning in the background, he is just being dramatic for another unrelated thing that has nothing to do with us."

"Angel, I swear to god."

"You are free to leave the room if you want, kitty. Professor Magne. Alastor. You don't mind answering my questions, don't you? We just want to get a clearer picture of how things went down with you and Luci."

"Of course not! I am all ears."

"Okay, so…"

"Angel."

"Did you fucked with the snake or not? Please, be as explicit as you want.

Hello? Professor, are you there?"

"You fucked it up. Good."

"Apologies, I was just taken aback by the wording of the question. If you absolutely must know, then yes. Luci and I have made love before, as couples often do. It was wonderful."

"I fucking told you."

"Please, shut up."

"Everything alright?"

"Yes, he is just being silly. So, did you made love when you were still a student? That is the part that has been bugging me for a while now."

"Is this the kind of relationship that we had after I became your professor?"

"Oh, come on, don't be like that! Everyone is an adult here. We have been adults long enough so yes, we totally have that kind of trust. You can fully count on us, professor. We won't repeat a word to a soul."

"I am going out. Tell me when you are ready to talk about something useful."

"You are still hearing the recording later, Husky."

"Don't remind me."

"You were saying, professor?"

"Very well. I guess there is no harm on it since we are all friends here.

Most young people get to experiment around that age. I guess I really wasn't that different in that aspect. I wasn't interested into doing anything like that with any of my classmates, so my Luci was the perfect vehicle for it. He was so infinitely patient and kind, even as I was getting overwhelmed with all the new sensations I was having. I couldn't have asked for a better companion for those moments. When on my own it always felt like such a chore to go through for very little reward, but with him I finally understood a little bit of what the fuzz was about. Although no doubt other teenagers were no having the same experience, my body and his were for the first time sources of a different kind of pleasure I didn't know before.

At first, when I asked him to let me see him on his own, I truly believe he was convinced that I would find it gross or it was a temporary curiosity that would die the moment it was satisfied. A part of me thought so as well. My dedication to him wasn't about to diminish one bit even if that was the case. I didn't need that kind of physicallity to know already that the rest of my life was going to be tied to his. But I was curious nonetheless. If there was even the slightest chance that we both got to have any kind of enjoyment from it, then why I would deprive myself from it?

To be clear, we never did anything of that nature until my last year. I didn't even thought of doing anything until then, when I realized it was going to be a long while until I saw him again at the end of the year. I was going out to study for my title of professor at a wizard university in another continent. Four years at the very least we would have to keep apart. The thought was unbearable, but it had to be done if I wanted to stick around the school to stay with him in the long run.

Our status as a relationship wasn't a conventional one and not only because of the curse imposed on him. Actually there were probably too many factors to count and no small portion of them was Lucifer's own doubt that I could even want him as an actual partner. Everything else could be handled or left to a side, but he was convinced that once I was out in the world I would find an actual human and forget anything about him. No matter how much I said that was never going to happen. He just kept repeating we will see to the point I was tired of touching the subject all together.

Before then, I had what I would call kisses with him, I had slept besides him and even brought him back to my room to stay on my pillow when I found out he could actually control his size to his will. That is what had allowed him to go whichever part of the castle he wanted to without relying on the pipes or being seen. I was clearly already comfortable and safe around him, just like he never had to fear any harm coming from me. I thought that a experiment of that kind only made the most sense possible.

I was fully unprepared for the impact of what I saw had on my own body. I won't give you a full rundown of what I saw then because that was meant only for my eyes. Just know that he wasn't exempt from the most common snake traits for his body and he didn't need hands to give me a demostration of how he has relieved himself all this time. I had my own mouth dry from keeping it open for so long, gasping, by the end of it. No matter how many things we have done since then or we will in the future, that first impression will never leave my mind. It consumed me for weeks worst than his venom ever could. Any moment I wasn't actively paying attention to something else, my mind would conjure up that image again and I wished I could be with him again, on his nest, our chamber, where we both could indulge in without judgement, without worries.

My curiosity, my need for more, didn't die at all. Every free time that I had was fully spend down there. Lucifer was a lot less reluctant about touching me as he was about me doing the same for him, when he saw how willing I was for it. He was so afraid of hurting me that he didn't want to hear about us becoming one in the most traditional way. I didn't mind it that much back then because any way that he would allow me to have that experience with him was new and perfect already as far I was concerned.

The night of the last banquet I brought him a present I had been working on for months. This radio that I am speaking through now was meant to be our only way of communication while I was away, studying abroad. He could talk to it back if he wanted to and I would listen through a smaller radio I had brought with me. Since it didn't work on electricity, it would work no problem on school grounds. I put it on his nest under the bigger statue and we listened to some tunes while everyone else was celebrating above us. I didn't care for what house had won that year or what points were distributed. This was all I needed.

Lucifer remained weirdly silent for a big part of it. His head was moving slightly to the rythm of the music, but I could tell he wasn't really all there. When I asked him what was wrong, he looked up and said it was going to be hard to get used to not having me around anymore.

That should not have me so stupidly happy as it did. I of course assure him that I would have the same struggle, but in the end it was going to be worth if we could spend together the rest of our lives once I was hired here. I was going to work as hard as I could to make that goal come true, you could mark my words. Meanwhile, we can still keep in contact like this, my love. I could tell there was something else he wanted to say."

[Note from Husk: At this point the dials start moving on their own and changing stations. It will become obvious later on, but these are memories being played back and not the current Professor Magne speaking. He won't respond to anything we say in that state. There is some music playing on the background.]

"Four years is not that much, dear. It will pass sooner than we expect."

"I know, I know. You would think that four years would be easy for me to pass through."

[Note from Husk: I have to imagine that second person speaking is what professor Magne hears when Lucifer speaks to him. It's a younger kind of voice that what I would have expected. He couldn't have been older than his 20s or early 30 when turned into a snake. Later on he will sing through the radio and it will make sense why the journal said he had an angelic kind of voice. It does sound nice. But also sad.]

"I will miss you too, love. I will use the radio everyday, even if you don't answer."

"You should… try to live a little bit while you can, Al. You are young only once. I won't take offense if you have other things going on."

"Not tonight, darling. Please. Just for tonight, can you believe me when I say I want to stay with you? That I want to spend my life with you? I don't want to hear about the rest of the world. They won't ever matter as much as what we have here."

"You see, Al, you keep saying that and it's exactly what makes me think… maybe that shouldn't be. You should care about others and let them care for you. I don't have an option here, but you do."

"I care about you. Is that not enough? Does that mean so little for you?"

"It means everything. I just don't want you to feel trapped here like I am. You say you want this and I do believe you, but what about in ten years? Twenty, fifty? How do you know you won't regret it? I can't hug you, Al. I can't go on in dates with you. You will never have any of the things other people have with their partners with me. What if you ever want to have a family?

Listen, I am sorry, I didn't mean to ruin your surprise. All I am saying is… when that day comes, I will understand if you tell me you found someone else that makes you happy. That is all. You don't owe me anything."

"You think I didn't thought of all of that? I don't need all those things to know how you feel about me. If we want a family, we can make it ourselves, I will find the way somehow. If I can't, then who cares? I only really need you.

I already don't want to go away. Get up on that train is going to be one of the hardest things I have done. Don't push me too."

"Funny. I think I lost the ability of doing that a long time ago. I know I should, I know that is the least I should do, but I can't. I don't know anymore what does that say about me."

"Do you love me?"

"Yes. I feel like a selfish piece of shit for saying it, but I do. I haven't loved anything in so long. That is why it terrifies me that I could ever hurt you, even without meaning to. I would never forgive myself if I did. You are so precious to me, Al."

"You won't. Darling, look at me. Please, listen. You won't hurt me by letting me stay with you. I might not know the future right now, but I know that much. If you are selfish, then I am too. Just… try trust me back when I say I want this. I want you. Can you do that for me, love?"

"I can try."

"That is all I ask. Come here.

I want to stay the night here. All my things are packed already, so I don't need to rush in the morning. Is that okay?"

"Mmm. Actually… I was thinking we could… try that thing you talked about last time."

"What thing? Merfolk meat?"

"No, the… You are really going to make me say it. Fine. You putting it in on me. Not just my mouth. You asked if we could try that, but you were so busy with your finals that… You don't have to if you aren't in the mood. We can just sleep. I am just saying that if you want, we can."

"Oh! No, I was just surprised you even remember that. That was months ago. You were really mulling over it this long?"

"It's a limited offer. The clock is ticking."

"I better take the chance while I can in that case. Yes, of course I want to. How?"

"Take your clothes off."

"If you wanted me naked, you can also just ask, my love. Those eyes of yours are a dead give away."

"Shut up. Do you need help?"

"It's still hard for me to do anything with it if you aren't the one touching it."

"Heh. Hard."

[Note from Anthony: HA! Luci and I could have been friends, I can tell.

Note from Husk: For fuck's sake, Angel.

Note from Anthony: Never better said, Husky.

Note from Husk: I hate this. So much.]

"Are you twelve?"

"Come on, you did it unpurpose."

"I won't deny or confirm such an accusation. But if you can assist me, I won't say no."

"Very well.

Did you really missed my tongue that much? I barely did anything and you are reacting so well already."

"I… did. It has been a while, hasn't it?"

"Mmm. You must be so pent up. It's okay, hopefully this will help."

[Note from Anthony: I can't believe I didn't think of the tongue before. I feel deeply dissapointed on myself. Ashamed even.

Note from Husk: NOTES ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE USED FOR THIS BULLSHIT.

Note from Anthony: Fine. There are pants and moans now with the voice of professor Magne. The music is still playing in the background. I don't recognize the singer, but it's a ballad about missing a lover that has yet to come back. Bittersweet, that is the word I was looking for. I kinda like it. It's an oldie but a cute one. For when you want to be a sad bitch with hope.]

"Luci…"

"There we go. Now I can work with this. Get on top of me. I won't drop you, it's fine. Just let me move you a little… There. That is where I want you to put it."

"Isn't that where your stuff comes out?"

"Mmm. I have to push them for that. If I keep them inside, they are still sensitive. You can rub against them if you want, but it should be tight anyway. I tried using my tail a couple of times, but it's still too big no matter how small I make myself. You should be the perfect size as I am now."

"You… you used your tail like that?"

"Well, yeah. I had to try to see how it felt before I could offer it, right? I was trying to think it was you, but it really wouldn't work."

"You have never done this before then?"

"Just with my own tongue. You are the first one I will do it with, though."

"I am glad. I would have to kill anyone who saw you like this."

"You are the only one who wants to see me like this, you weirdo."

[Note from Anthony: I don't know, I would be curious at least. I think Luci really understimate how many freaks there are out there.

Note from Husk: Angel, I swear I will start deleting all your notes if you keep this shit up. It's bad enough I had to hear it myself.]

"The only one you want to be seen by, right, my love?"

"I would have blinded you already if not.

Stop teasing it and fuck me already, Al. You won't need lube, it's fine."

"Mmm. Ah, I feel you… They are throbbing there. So warm. Luci, you really wanted this too, didn't you?"

"You started it… How is it?"

"Amazing. You sucking me in so nicely, love. You?"

"I… I have to concentrate on keeping them inside."

"Is that… good?"

"Heh. It means I like it, yes. It's good. So much better than my tail ever was.

Are you sure you haven't done this before?"

"I only… with you… Ah, no, never."

"I was kidding, Al. You know… I can feel how warm your blood is compared to mine? I always could, but now it's like you are burning me from the inside. In the best way.

You can… finish inside if you want. It won't go anywhere."

"Not now. I want this to last some more. We should… have done this before."

"Better late than never. I didn't want you to go without knowing if this could work."

"But it's not. Pull them out."

"What?"

"Pull them out. I want to… I want to touch them. I want to taste them myself. Please? Please, love. Let me finish with you. I don't want you to repress yourself during this. I can see how much effort you are using."

"That is… Are you sure? What if you don't like it?"

"I have seen you sucking yourself off and wanting to do it myself since the first day. It will be fine. Just relax and let me do it."

"Fine… But don't force yourself if you want to stop. Move a little. Can you touch yourself a little? Perfect.

There."

"See? Doesn't feel better that way?"

"Mmm! Aal, if you lick it…"

"A lot more sensitive too."

"That is how dicks tend to work! Sorry, it just took me by surprise. You don't find it gross?"

"I think I actually like this better."

"Really? One would think the youth would just love to have a hole to fuck."

"I think we establish already I am not like the other wizards my age. You haven't put them in on anyone either, right?"

"Believe it or not, I didn't had any chances down here, no."

"Can you get smaller and do it to me?"

"What. You are not serious."

"Why not? They seem to react well to my presence. I think I like them too. Your flavor is unlike anything I had before."

"Mmm… that, that is not the point. If you have never done anything like it before it's going to hurt you, even if I do get smaller. My smallest is still bigger than your whole body. No, Al, we can't."

"But I want to…"

"No. Just… use your legs to make some friction and get yourself betweem them. You can use one arm if you want."

"Like this?"

"Squeeze a little more. Don't worry, you can't hurt me… Yes, baby, just like that. Exactly like that. I will get a little smaller, hold on… Now you can just use your thighs.

You like it?

Heh. You are cute when you don't talk. It's okay, you can let go."

"You-you too. Together."

"Mmm, yes."

"L-luci, Luci, Luciii…"

"Alastor…"

[Note from Anthony: Hot. And before certain grumpy pants says anything, after the happy ending you could only hear the music. At some point they lowered the volume. The station changed again to another memory.

Note from Husk: Not at all of them are as long as the last one. They are mostly fragments of conversations that Magne and Lucifer had.]

"I really wish you were here, love. I would have gladly feed you our professor in Ethics. I don't think anyone in the whole institutions would mind either. Most students probably would congratulate me."

"One of my classmates asked for a date. According to Rosie, the whole asking me my notes for almost every class was all an excuse to talk to me. If I had known that is what she was after, I would have tell her already I have someone else."

"I don't mind music, but do they really need to put it so loud at this hours of the morning? Some of us have scholarships we need to keep by not sleeping during class."

"I end up cursing their radios to shock them everytime they try to use them after the sun is down."

"I found a dead cat on the sidewalk that made me think of you, dearest. If I could I have send it to you. It seemed fresh enough at least."

"Of course I love you, darling."

"I got this book on my outing today. It's about a woman who marries a man cursed to look like a beast. Would you believe me if I tell you this come from a muggle library? From a muggle author too! Want me to read it for you?"

"I hated the ending. It felt unnecessary? You already made these two fell in love. Why did he had to become a man at the end of it?"

"I heard this song, maybe you will like it too?"

"I miss you."

"Today was awful. I miss you."

"I miss you."

[Note from Husk: It continues like that for at least other five minutes as the dials keep turning in random stations. Every I miss you is different from each other. At least the sex talk is over.

Note from Anthony: Until it was back and Husky checked out again. Sorry, honey.]

"I think I finally got a solution to our size problem."

"Our what now?"

"So you can mate with me properly."

"Are you still on that?! I thought we had a good enough time already."

"We did. Don't misunderstand, darling, it was wonderful, but surely you would like to experiment for that as well. I have been working on it for weeks now and I believe I finally got it. I have tested it out and is so much better than I thought."

"Al, when you say test it out, what do you mean?"

"Is that jelousy I heard, my love? My own fingers, of course. But let me tell you about my process a little bit. Did you know that witches have tons of spells already to make intercourse all the better for them? In handsight, that only makes sense, but I had no idea how many options they had. Remember that party my classmates dragged me to after the end of the semester? There, a witch was talking about a particular kind of spell that let her enjoy one night with a… particularly endowed centaur. Normally something like that could have kill her, but she was determined to make it work so she tried that new spell and it worked wonder for the both of them. Want to know what it does?"

"I am sorry, a centaur?"

"A centaur, darling. Anyway, the spell consist on just in making it so her parts would make it so her lover would instantly adapt to her without losing any sensation. It's like living an actual fantasy where you only count with the pleasure and none of the real life inconveniences. I asked her for it, she wanted to know for what and when I told her it was for my boyfriend she very kindly taught me the exact gesture."

[Note from Anthony: Maybe we should look into the centaur girl? For the sake of the investigation, that is. We don't want to miss any important detail.

Note from Husk: No. Also, you already know that spell anyway.

Note from Anthony: But a centaur, Husky! Are they kind? Are they rough? Do they cuddle after? Those are the big questions that need answers! Besides, that girls sounds like fun.

Note from Husk: Still no.]

"That was just the first part of what I intended to do. The next one was the issue of my own body. I don't very much care for the parts I was born with, so I did some research and found an easy enough spell that would allow me for something far more comfortable. For what I could gather, lots of wizards and witches do stuff like that to themselves all the time! Some people create their own parts to closely resemble what is on their mind or just because they can! Truly fascinating subject, my love."

"Wh-what… You mean you have a…"

"A vulva, yes. I have to say, it's so much more convenient than what I had before. We won't even need lube after all! But I wasn't done yet. I thought I was, but then I remembered about how you believe I should have fun with other people before settling down with you."

"Hey, I didn't put it exactly like that."

"Point is! If you won't believe on my words, you don't leave much any other choice than to show you with my actions. So I basically found a variant of a chastity spell and now I have nothing. Nothing unless I have to relieve myself or you are here."

"Nothing?"

"Nothing at all. It's completely smooth down there, like a doll. It will keep being that way unless the one of my choosing makes me want to show what I have for him. That means you, dear. There won't ever be anyone else who will even come close to it."

"Did… did you really do that?"

"It was a pretty arcaic spell, but I think I have pull it off very well on my own. With all these changes in place, I should be ready for our next encounter. You can take me however way you want. You won't hurt me."

"Al, you are… fucking insane."

"But you like it?"

"Baby, I don't know if I am going to contain myself the next time I see you."

"Who said I want you to?"

[Note from Anthony: Eliminated because NOBODY NEEDS THE COMMENTARY.

Note from Anthony: ALRIGHT, FUCK. The next memory we think is when professor Magne was interviewed by the Headmaster Sera. There is the sound of people talking in the background. They are on some tabern, probably in Hogsmeade.

Note from Husk: Hearing her voice all of the sudden was a genuine jumpscare. I never liked her much either. She always seemed very… cold, I guess? Indifferent to others, but she knew to hide it better than professor Magne ever bothered.]

"I have to say, I still don't fully understand why do you even want this job, Alastor. A young man like you would get bored of being surrounded by old wizards like us the entire year. You could work in any other school if you really wanted to."

"Nonsense! There is a certain beauty on helping out the future generations in the same way that I was helped with. I just can't ignore the calling that Hogswarts has on me any longer. The best memories I ever had and my best friends both I made under the ceiling of that castle, walking those aisles. I truly feel at home right there. I couldn't imagine dedicating myself to my students in any other place, if I have to be honest. It would be my honor if you would consider me, Sera."

"I definitely will and make you know my decision by tomorrow. For now, I am afraid I have to leave you."

"To interview my competition?"

"To see another candidate to the same position. It was nice talking to you again, Alastor. You were always an exceptional student and I am glad to see the kind of men you became to."

"You, on the other hand, have remained just as pleasing to the eyes as the day I graduated."

"Flattery won't affect my decision, Alastor."

"I had to try at least. Go on then, dear. I will be waiting for my letter of acceptance."

"Confidence is a virtue, but arrogance can be a flaw."

"Which one I have?"

"That is about to be seen. I do need to go now. Thank you for coming to see me here and your time."

"My pleasure! I was nostalgic for this small little town anyway. I might stick around a while more just to have a look. Have a nice evening, dear."

"Likewise, Alastor."

[Note from Husk: Another memory.]

"I got the job. Darling, I got the job! I barely had to curse only one of the other candidates! I will get to see you soon, Luci. Once I do, there won't be any force in this world that will ever tear me apart from your side. We will kill anyone that tries."

"Why do you always have to make everything creepy?"

"Some call it romantic, dear. You don't sound that displeased either."

"I am not. Not at all. Congratulations, Al. Can't wait to see you too."

[Note from Husk: The next thing we hear are steps over grass and someone panting. The steps reach solid ground. They won't stop running. At some point there is a whisper of professor Magne ordering something to open up. After some time, the steps sound wet as they renew the run. The next time professor Magne speaks again, again ordering an entrnace, there is a sound of unlocking before a heavy door is moved. The entire time professor Magne is panting for air.

Note from Anthony: Not just for the exercise either.

Note from Husk: What is that supposed to mean?

Note from Anthony: Can't you hear his heartbeat from here? The man is anxious, Husky.

Note from Husk: Something very heavy is moving over rocks. The voices barely echo there.]

"My love! Luci. I am sorry for not coming sooner, but I had to wait for a moment in which they left me alone. Sera would not stop yapping my ear off about the new year. I have all my things with me, I can stay with you. Where are you?"

"Al?"

"Lucifer. It's me, love. Come here. I missed your scales so much."

"You are taller now."

"Can you really tell? It was just a few inches."

"Of course I can. Those are new glasses too."

"I had no choice when my eyesight was getting worse. Surprisingly enough, dark arts are not really dedicated to the improvement of eyes's health. Who knew? Wow. I forgot you literally can swift me off my feet."

"I also feel you lighter. Have you eaten already?"

"Yes, dear. The rest of the staff had a little party to welcome me into the castle. I even had to take a bite of the cake because the chef made it for me."

"Have you sleep…"

"My dear, not that I don't find your concern endearing, but are really not going to take me to your nest so I can settle in?"

"You… have a bed upstairs."

"I like yours better. I can also just sleep on top of you. You are so convenient like that, love."

"It's cold here."

"Then you better keep close to save heat, mmm? Nobody is going to even know that I am here, Luci. I can stay all night without any worry. I won't get in any trouble. I can feel you shaking, darling. What is wrong?"

"Tell me this is real."

"Of course it is, silly. You had me worried for a second there. But if you still have any doubt, I can show you something very real instead. You just have to take me to your nest. Would that help?"

"Yes."

[Note from Angel: Another memory. Bummer.]

"Love. Darling, I have to go."

"Tell them you are sick. Later."

"It's my first day on my new job and you want me to call in sick already? Not the best very first impression, isn't it?"

"Can you even walk?"

"Do not ask that with that smug tone in your voice! For your information, yes, I can. I am not made of crystal, I will have you know! I took all necessary precautions so I wouldn't have any unwanted pain. You are welcome, by the way."

"Thank you. You are limping. Are you sure you are okay?"

"Because I just woke up, it's fine!"

"Wait. When are you coming back?"

"After the banquet of inauguration. I will come as soon as I can."

[Note from Husk: The dial moved again to the original station where we first talked to professor Magne. Thank fucking heavens.]

"I never spend a single night on the room I was assigned to. Now that I was finally back at the school, I could finally look into another little project I had in mind. Everyone knows about the Shrieking Shank on Hogsmeade, rumoured to be the house of violent spirits, but at the school it was said that it was made just for the sake of one student that turned into a werewolf during the full moon. Back then potions to keep his mind conscious did not exist and rather than put him or any students at risk, that house was made to contain him. I can only the terror a kid would have gone through during those nights. Once I became a member of the staff of the school, I soon learned another detail that it wasn't known by the student but could be easily deduced if one thought about it. A tunnel was connecting directly the school to that location, as to avoid the townspeople to wonder what was doing a Hogwart's student outside at those hours. That kid graduated closely before my generations, so now the building stood silent, empty. Without anybody to put it to good use. It was time to change that.

The building itself was easy to buy with the money I had saved. You can't hope to achieve the magical accomplishment that I had in mind without having some extra credit. It took me years of part time jobs and living as frugal as possible during my student years, but that and a few months of my new salary finally allowed me to sign whatever name I told them to put. I made sure nobody ever saw my own face close to that place.

Once it was mine, it was a matter to make it according to my own interest. I changed the start of the tunnel from under that awful tree to the same lenght of the tunnel with a few teleportation spells and a security system in place so we would both be alerted if anyone we didn't trust tried to get in. Both the immediate steps inside the house from the entrance, the back and the view from the window wouldn't show a single thing different to how they were before I touched anything. If anyone was dumb enough to go beyond that, they could be trapped inside until we could determine what to do with them.

I had to make both the kitchen, the bathrooms and the chimney functional, make sure that the smoke would come out in a random locations of the forest and finally clear out the living room to make a proper nest for Luci. Then it came the clean up. Lots and lots of clean up. But it was worth it when Lucifer was there, absolutely incredulous when I told him this was our new place. I never lied when I said I didn't mind the chambers. If anything they hold a nostalgic attractive for me, but they weren't ours. We had nothing to do with their creation. Someone had made it to contain Lucifer, for it to be his prison, so now he was going to have a new place to go where he could do as he pleased or just rest without bringing up what had happened.

I was slightly less excited when I gave him the option to decorate himself and he kept asking for the guadiest things possible from the catalogues I gave him to fill our space. I relented on some, not in others. Our first proper fight as a couple was when he just needed a figurine of a duck the size of a medium dog. I used what was supposed to be Rosie's room if she ever came to visit for two nights. I don't actually remember how we made up, but in the end there was now a white duck greeting guest next to the ladder to the second floor. Besides his unfortunate taste, I was rather proud when the place didn't looked like it had been abandoned for more than ten years.

The curse of Lucifer was very much still there. The paliatives I had managed to make were just that and very conditional. He could go to Hogsmeade and to our house, but not a step beyond that before he was taken immediately back to the chamber. At the very least that extended his range of hunting in the forest so he could go for bigger prey if he wanted to. It still wasn't perfect, but it was getting there. I just needed to work more on it. Between grading students, my classes and impart the odd discipline, we were set for me to do pretty much whatever I wanted with the rest of my time. The vast library of Hogwarts were older and therefore more useful than the ones on the university I came from. The forbidden section proved to be rather useful.

After a few years, a little sickness curse in our good old current professor for Care of Magical Creatures left the path open for Rosie to come join me. It was during one of our monthly dinners as the Shrieking Shank with her wife that I had an idea. But it needed to be worked on still.

All things considered, and with all of their limitations, I liked this small life we had managed to build, one that the school had no idea about. It was as nice of a simple life as we could get."

[Note from Husk: This is where I intervened.]

"What was the idea?"

"Pardon?"

"You mentioned an idea that Rosie's wife… Lilith, right? Gave you. What was that?"

"Oh, I couldn't possibly tell you that. Apologies if I gave you the impression that I wasn't going to leave some stuff for myself. If I haven't even told Luci yet! Like I said, it needs to be worked on before I feel it approporiate for him to know about. I don't want to hold his hopes up without any garantees. At the point I was made, I still haven't found the right way."

"But it's something that he wanted? Not you?"

"I wanted it as well. Can we change the subject, if you don't mind?"

"Yeah, sure. So, how were you made? I know about the process already. Professor needs to kill someone each time."

"Did he tell you that?"

"He did."

"Huh. Well, that is correct. I picked up this old radio for some sentimental value left. The one I had to eliminate was a man in Hogsmeade that was infamous for beating his small children after the dead of her wife. I am talking kids no older than 12. Isn't that awful? I of course made sure that they had a loving aunt that could take care of them before doing anything. Once that was settle, it was as easy as to catch him after he was kicked out from the pub and applied the tiniest drop of Lucifer's venom to his temple. Went down instantly. From there, taking him back to our house and finish the job was easy. Luci was the one who recommended to use this radio. He said he liked how my voice came out of here. I did always liked to listen to it, even as a little boy."

"How many more horrorcruxes was professor Magne planning into doing? He asked us to keep a tally of them, but didn't specify any number before he had to go into hiding again."

"Mmm. As far my knowledge goes, the idea was to make at least 5. A good solid number that would give me enough time to figure out what to do with Luci. But that might have changed by the time you two met him. If he went into hiding, do you have any idea if managed to get out with Luci?"

[Note from Husk: That is when it suddenly hit me. We had no idea if he had actually managed to break the curse. What if he didn't? What if he made a huge mess at the school, faked his death and just stayed there? The place should be empty, but it's really, really big. If someone really wanted to go unnoticed inside, they could. Lucifer had plenty of experience on that.

I answered yes to the question of the radio and left it there. We had a travel to make.]

#appleradio #radioapple #duckiedeer #hazbin hotel au #lucifer x alastor #harry potter au

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bluebellwriting · 4 years ago

Text

Love Me Tender Part 3

(Note: I know Molly hasn’t been confirmed as a demon nor is she in Hell, but for the sake of the story, I’m saying that she is a demon and she is in Hell. There’s not a lot of information on the spider fam so I’m going to be taking some liberties here)

Sunday dinners at your dad’s home have always a tradition, even when you all were alive. It wasn’t religious, Lord knows if it had been you probably wouldn’t have ended up here. But when your family spends every day of their lives and afterlives meeting with mob bosses, disposing of bodies, and doing drugs, it was nice to have a reason to come together and remind each other that you were all still here. It was because of those dinners and the evenings spent cooking with your Nonna that your love of cooking came to fruition.

Oh, your Nonna. You’ve tried looking for her down here, even though you know that there was no way she was deserving of a place like this. She was a saint, the mother you deserved instead of the mother you actually had. Your mother was cold, lazy, vain, couldn’t care for her children to save her life, judgmental -- she always insisted you try whatever insane weight loss trend was popular. Nonna was kind, understanding, taught you to be tough but also how to take care of those you loved, and never tried to pit you and your sister against each other. She’s honestly the only reason yours and Molly’s relationship survived.

But when she died, you took over as the family’s cook as the only person who could actually make something without burning it. Until you yourself died at the ripe age of 23, long before the rest of your family. Your family doesn’t talk about it much, but you can just imagine what the first dinner without you was like. How sad and empty, how burnt the food must have been if there even was any.

But you’re together again and your dinners were able to survive your family’s plunge into the afterlife. Apparently, so did your family home.

As soon as you entered the threshold of the home, you and Angel were smushed into a hug by Molly.

“My darlings!” She cries. Angel and you snuggle into the warm arms of your sister and wrap your arms around her.

“How are ya, Mol?” Angel asks.

“Oh, ya know, same old, same old.”

“Are those creeps giving you trouble at the store?” You take a step back and eye your sister up and down, looking for any physical manifestation that those creepy men crushing on your sister are up to no good.

“Not since you had a little chat with them, (N/N),” she teases.

Molly’s eyes brighten at the sight of your outfit.

“Ooh! You’re wearing the new skirt and blouse! It’s so pretty on you, (Y/N)! And I know I always say this but you have a great rack girl, ya gotta show it off like this more.”

You blush brightly and cross your arms over your torso.

“Gee thanks, Molly,” you mumble.

“I don’t know how you haven’t found a man yet with that bod!” She squeals and pinches your cheeks.

“Well, since ya mentioned it...” Angel smirks.

“Nope!” You shout and storm further into the house to avoid your baby siblings.

Molly looks back at Angel with an arched brow, the question looming in the air.

You make it to the kitchen, where your father and brother are heating up the food you left here last week. You turn your nose up.

“You know, I could have made something fresh. This is all a week old! And here I thought you were going to cook for once.”

“Very funny, (Y/N),” Niss grumbles, stirring the pasta sauce you had brought over last time.

“How are ya, sweetheart?” Henroin gives you a warm hug, one that is snug and warm and reserved for his unofficially favorite child.

“I’m good, dad. Doing just fine.”

“They’re running you ragged at that hotel.”

“Which means I’m left to pick up the slack,” Niss growls. You pull away from the hug and pull your brother into a forceful hug, just to make him uncomfortable. You were the same height as Niss and a year younger, and as grumpy and infuriating he can be, you always felt the closest to him. You’d like to think he felt the same, considering he scolds you the least. Or maybe that’s just because you’re way stronger than him and you have wrestled him to the ground.

“I know, but I’m doing this for Angel--”

“Anthony,” Niss hisses.

“If he tells me he wants to go by Angel, then I’m calling him Angel.” You narrow your eyes, your irises flashing a dangerous red and your teeth grow into vicious fangs in an instant. Niss rolls his eyes but backs down, trying to hide the shiver that went up his spine.

“I still don’t see how they’re supposed to help him.”

“Neither do I but I genuinely believe that that hotel is his only chance.”

“But why do you have to be there, too?” Your father asks.

“Because I’m the only one who knows how to handle him,” you beam.

“And because she’s dating the Radio Demon,” Molly squeals as she bursts in the kitchen, followed closely by a smirking Angel.

“What?!” Your brother and dad yell.

“I am not dating the Radio Demon, right, Angel?” You stalk over to him and stomp on his foot.

“Ah! Fine, fine. But she’s got him wrapped around her little finger, don’t ya, sis?”

“What the hell does that mean, (Y/N)?” Niss growls. Your father just stares at you, his eyes empty of all emotion but his shoulders are tensed.

“It means nothing. We work together and. That’s. It.” Everyone in the kitchen is staring at you. Angel is smirking, Molly is biting her lip as she holds in a squeal, Niss looks as though he’s about to punch a wall, and your dad is still staring at you. Their eyes are like deadly sunbeams and your body is a wilting flower. You wrap your arms around yourself, wishing the ground would just swallow you up and transport you to Second Hell, or whatever lies beyond this reality. A part of you finds yourself longing for arms to hold you, to wrap around you and shield you. Longing for grey arms in a red suit to protect you.

Oh jeez, maybe you do love him.

“The sauce is burning,” you break the silence and move towards the stove. “Is the pasta ready?”

“Yeah,” Henroin says and brings a bowl of noodles to the already set table. You turn the stove off and slip on two oven mitts to bring over the pot of sauce.

“Sit down,” you command. Your siblings scurry to their seats as your dad and you arrange everything on the table.

Once you’ve all sat and filled your plates (and taken away Angel’s phone), you turn to your dad.

“So what was the big announcement?” You ask.

Henroin swallows, “Not so much of an announcement, more of a request of you and Anth-- Angel. I know this hotel has been good for you,” he says to your brother. “And it sounds like it’s been... good for you too, (Y/N). But I need you to start pulling your weight around here, especially you, (Y/N).”

“Why me?” (Y/N) you ask, sending your father an incredulous look. “I thought I told you I wanted out of all of that nasty business.”

“Because some of our partners respond better to you. You have a way with people, in the way that is below my stature and beyond anything your brother can do.”

“Dad!” Niss yells, offended.

“Shut up. Now listen, (Y/N), you can still stay at the hotel, do whatever the hell it is you do there,” he gives you a pointed look, hinting that he hasn’t forgotten the Radio Demon business.

“But when I need you to attend a meeting or negotiation,” he continues. “I expect you to be there. You owe your family that.”

You look down at your barely-picked-at-plate, having suddenly lost your appetite.

“I’m guessing you have a meeting soon that you think I’d be well-suited for,” you mumble.

“There’s an Overlord we need to do some business with and I finally convinced her to have an audience. But word on the street is that she responds better to friends or women. And since we’re not friends and I’m definitely not sending Molly--”

“Daddy, you wound me!”

“--That leaves you, kid. We’re counting on you.”

You nod your head. The conversation continues, your siblings argue, Henroin gives you details for the meeting but you let it all wash over you like a wave. You actually thought you could finally start living for yourself for once, that you could stop taking care of others. You were wrong.

---

The city is alive with the sound of laughing and screaming, but all you can think about is the meeting tomorrow with Rosie, an Overlord and the owner of Rosie’s Emporium. Your eyes are heavy from the chaotic dinner, the three times you had to keep Niss from launching himself across the table at Angel, Molly talking your ear off about some cute man who would be perfect for you, and the new weight that has been added to your shoulders. It takes everything in you not to crash the car on your way home.

When you arrive back at the hotel it’s late at night and somehow Angel has boundless energy. He prances to the door, calling out about some party he’s been invited to by Cherri.

“Angel, it’s a Sunday night,” You scold.

“And? My work doesn’t exactly require me to be up and at em at 8, doll.” He bursts through the doors and immediately goes over to Husk and the bar, probably to pregame. You shuffle your way inside after him, rubbing your temples in an effort to tame the ache developing in your head.

“Oh, darling,” Alastor sings. He dances into the lobby from the kitchen, smile as wide as ever, holding two steaming mugs. Except instead of one of his pristine suits, he is dressed in slacks, suspenders, a shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and a red apron. He looks completely and utterly adorable, and you’re just loving the view of his lithe forearms.

As soon as he heard Angel’s voice bothering Husk, Alastor came running to the lobby with the hot chocolate he had spent hours perfecting. His first batch was too bitter, the second far too sweet for anyone’s liking, and the third was accidentally consumed by Charlie (who is now hiding somewhere in the hotel to avoid his wrath). Plus, he had to endure Charlie’s relentless teasing. But he was certain this would be the perfect cup of liquid goodness to impress his sweetest darling. And judging by your tense shoulders and the stress in the lines of your face, you would definitely be needing something to lift your spirits.

“Goodness, did the dinner not go well?”

You released a deep, exhausted sigh, and lifted your head slowly to meet his eyes. For a moment, Alastor wonders if this might have been the wrong move. You were clearly worn out. You probably just wanted to shut yourself in your room and go to bed and not have anything to do with him and his boyish attempts to woo you. Hot chocolate, really? What was he thinking? Someone like you deserved something lavish, and you would probably scoff at something so simple as a hot drink.

His shoulders deflate at your lack of smile.

“It went about the same as it always did,” you sigh. “Siblings fighting, me saving dinner, my sister trying to set me up with some man.”

Alastor has to restrain the growl bubbling up in his chest.

Your eyes fall to the two mugs in his hands. You sniff the air and smile at the rich scent.

“Is that hot chocolate?”

“Oh... yes, it is.”

“Mm, is there any left?”

“Well of course! I made this cup especially for you, dearest!” He practically shoves the mug into your hands.

You quickly lift the mug to your lips and hope to all that is good and holy that he chalks your blushing cheeks to the heat of the drink.

“Oh, Alastor, this is wonderful. Thank you. I really needed this after the night I had.” You smile up at him, the lines in your face easing immediately. It’s enough to make the Radio Demon’s knees quake.

“You are absolutely welcome...” He pauses. The original plan was to woo you with the drink, whisk you off to a remote corner of the hotel, and attempt to confess his undying love to you. But the yawn you try to stifle almost causes him to deflate. Almost.

“Would like to talk about it, love? I’m all ears! U-Unless you’re too tired. You absolutely do not have to--”

Love. Love. You grip the mug tighter.

“Actually, Alastor, that would be lovely. If you don’t mind.”

Alastor grins.

“Not at all.”

He places a hand on the small of your back and transports you both to the library. He snaps his fingers and a fire lights up the room for you both. You flop onto the couch and Alastor takes a seat beside you, making a point to sidle up to you as you proceed to detail everything about your day.

At first you were rather restrained, convinced that the last thing this important, powerful, strong, kind, considerate, lovely man wanted was to listen to your problems. But as he asked more and more questions, he opened you up like an oyster, waiting patiently for the pearl inside.

“So now I’m meeting with this Rosie tomorrow. Something about transporting her goods across territories.”

“Rosie, you say?”

“Yes. Oh, do you know her?”

“Why yes! She’s an old and dear friend. But, um, quite ruthless towards strangers. You said you’re going alone?”

“Right.”

“Is that... normal? I mean, for you to go alone to meet such dangerous individuals.”

“Oh, yes. I’ve been doing so since I was 18 and alive.”

Alastor chokes on his drink.

“That young?”

“I grew up in the mafia, Al.” You send him a coy smile. “I’m not as defenseless as I look.”

“Oh, I never doubted that, dearest, but... to not have anyone there for support...”

“When you grow up the way I did, you learn not to trust anyone. Not fully at least, and definitely not until you know them well enough.”

“Is that right... Do... Do you trust me, then? Or have I not earned that honor?” Alastor smiles at you but within he is a mess. This is it. The moment you tell him that he’s far too dangerous, too vicious, too disgusting for you to ever let into your life in the way he craves.

“You’re on your way.” You smirk at him and the light floods back into his body. That’s a start.

“So, would you allow me to accompany you tomorrow then?”

“Oh, no, Alastor I could never impose on you like that--” He’s just being polite, you tell yourself. He doesn’t actually want to spend time with you outside of the hotel, isn’t actually concerned with whether you die at the hands of this Rosie.

“Nonsense, my darling.” He leans down, smelling the chocolate on your breath. His nose is so close to yours, your lips just as near to his. He could lean forward just a bit, feign a fall, just for one chance to kiss you like he’s dreamed.

“I would love nothing more than to be your knight in shining armor.”

You smile, “Just to be clear, if you are going to escort me, Alastor. I am no damsel in distress.” You boop his nose and giggle at the hot blush on his cheeks.

“But,” you continue, “I would love nothing more than to have your company tomorrow.”

“Well, then have it you shall, love.”

#alastor x reader #alastor x chubby!reader #hazbin hotel #x chubby!reader #x chubby reader #they say write the stories you want to see

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glitchtrapfan · 3 years ago

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Je vous aime (a Hazbin hotel story.)

Angel dust was the bar with husk and Alastor, Alastor has his grin as always as angel ramble on about how much he like his job, how much fun it wss to get with boy and more that Alastor didn’t care for. He then had a idea.

Alastor: Angel since you love to describe your disgusting things in fancy words why don’t I tell you a word and you must figure it out.

Angel: Sounds fun, what word you got for me smiles~~?

Alastor: Je vous aime.

Angel eye brows raise a bit and was visibly confused.

Alastor: Have fun figuring it out, don’t try to ask anybody here.

Alastor walks off grinning satisfyingly, angel look to husk and husk shrug his shoulders.

Angel: He never told you or Nifty?

Husk: He tells us important stuff not stupid shit I could care less about.

Angel: Well do you know what I can do to help find out the meaning?

Husk: We got a library don’t we, go read a book about French words.

Angel: Thanks husky~

Angel kiss his cheek and goes to the library thinking it be easy but when he open the door to the library it was huge.

Angel: Holy....

Charlie: Hey angel, I see it your first time coming to the library. Me and Alastor wanting The place to be big so we can have all the books from Hell, you be surprised with how much there is.

Angel: Yeah...say do you know where I can find anything related to France?

Charlie: Alastor would know^^

Angel: He making me find out a word from that language so he won’t help me.

Charlie: Oh, I can try helping you find it if you want.

Angel: Nah it’s fine, I just need to look like it’s a needle in a heystack.

Charlie: Alright But If you having trouble me and Vaggie will always help.

Charlie leaves and angel sighs heavily, he knew this was going to take forever but he decided he was going to find it even if it was a dumb word. It took him 4 hours of searching row after row of books and even finding the books he needed none of them so far contained the word he needed.

Angel: (why am I doing this to myself and now it was time for me to head to work.)

Angel was about to get up and leave but then he saw a book with a rose on it, it had no tilted so he didn’t even think to look at it until he got to see the front, he open it, skimming through pages until he saw the word, the dialogue he look at was about a girl and boy talking about something.

Angel: Finally I found it, i can’t wait to show that smiling ass who the real master of learning fancy words.

Angel read the page, he look at it all and then he drop the book.

Angel: ...wait maybe I’m reading this wrong.

Nifty: Angel, look at the mess you made!

Nifty says seeing lots of books all over the floor, she cleans them up but notice angel looking at the book, she peaks her head at it and saw the page.

Nifty: Je vous aime which means I love you, This was my favorite book to read and I didn’t tell anybody I read such cute romantic stories, Alastor might think I’m embarrassing.

Angel: ....what?

Angel gets up and walks out the library, he was thinking of it all when Alastor was walking pass grinning happy and angel notice him.

Angel: You think this is some funny joke!?

Alastor: So you found the word, congratulations on finding it especially since I hid the book well.

Angel: WHY THAT WORD THOUGH!?

Angel says with a very mad tone and Alastor looks at him.

Alastor: I thought you like being call that by boys.

Angel: Oh you think I like being call that by Val, so should I love that fucker back.

Angel tone was sharp and he look very piss, Alastor realize he needed to fix this or else this will be similar to there last talk.

Alastor: Look I’m.

Angel: Your just like him...your just like val!

Charlie and Vaggie hear them talking, they mouth a gasp hearing that, Alastor eyes open a bit which was rare, Alastor eyes Change to diels and static can be heard.

Angel: Your piss now, go on then, I ain’t going to move.

Charlie: Please no!

Charlie said getting out of the corner with Vaggie holding her hand and spare in the other hand in case things got bad, Alastor leaves suddenly and angel looks to Charlie.

Angel: stay out of this princess.

Charlie: Please he gone and also...you can’t say that.

Angel: So am I in the wrong for him saying he loves me and saying it okay because all the people that hurt me say the same thing.

Vaggie: He was joking.

Angel: ...what?

Charlie: He would not say something awful like that, he a overlord but he trying his best.

Vaggie: What you said was awful to say angel is what Charlie is saying.

Angel look at them and his eyes wide.

Angel: ....what a good person I really have become huh...

Charlie: Angel don’t say.

Angel push past them and walks to the roof, the roof was empty but soon will have a garden since Charlie loved the idea of that. Angel walks until he sits down near the edge of the roof, he tears up thinking of how much of a jerk he felt like now since he just compare Alastor to the monster that was Valentino, angel cried more until he heard footsteps.

Alastor: Well it seems I may you cry again, I’m not very good with talking with you without seeing you cry.

Alastor says as he sit down next to him, he took out a red napkin and hand it to angel which he took hesitantly.

Angel: Why...why you still looking out for me, did you not hear what I call you!

Alastor: I did but I know you didn’t mean it and...I deserve to apologize for my awful joke.

Angel: It was really awful, not even funny awful.

Alastor: ....I do understand if you do see me as him....I can act out of line sometimes.

Angel: ...don’t say that, your more of a good person then that monster, besides I should apologize for getting mad over nothing....I’m sorry.

Alastor: Looks like we both want to apologize Hehehehe....

Angel: Why though...if it was a joke then why actually you give me that word?

Alastor: Because I want to tell you that Everyone here loves you, even if you act behind that persona of yours and do disgusting stuff People really enjoy having you here, your kind, make tasty food, you care about your pet so much it sweet and most important your like a beam of sunshine when your happy, Charlie happy but she always busy with work so having you around helps a lot to keep sprites up around here, people love you and I just wanted to tell you that your loved by me and everyone here.

Angel looks at Alastor for a long time before he tears up.

Angel: Your not bullshiting right?

Alastor nods his head and angel holds him tight, Alastor hated being touch this much but he let angel continue so he felt happy.

Angel: I love you too smiles~

Alastor: We should get off the roof, if Charlie sees us she might have a heartattack XD

Angel giggles and Alastor gets up to leave.

Angel: Anthony..

Alastor: Hm?

Angel: My Names Anthony, I just call myself angel dust because it the drug that kill me..

Alastor: Honestly a beautiful name, you should keep it, helps show more of you as yourself.

Alastor grins and leaves, angel smiles and head to his room where fat Nuggets await.

Anthony: Hey fat Nuggets, daddy’s has finally got someone else to help me through this.

Anthony says holding fat Nuggets in his arms and smiling cute.

(Sorry if this not the best story out there but I wanted to write this and even if it not big it here so it can help me a bit through problems I’m having)

#hazbin hotel #angel dust #alastor #Charlie #Vaggie #nifty #husk #Radiodust #story #fanfic

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petitprincess1 · 5 years ago

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Good Evening Ch10 (Let’s Kill Tonight)

AO3 Link Summary: Alastor goes to wreak some havoc at the warehouse on two unsuspecting guards. How fun :) Words: 2,155 Warning:Warning: Mild gore (at least I think it's mild), violence, blood, amputation (not detailed), death, gun use, burning, and implied cannibalism. ~~~ Alastor had used the backdoor to leave outside of the house, since he heard Charlie getting interrogated by her mother and knew that Lilith seemed to be a shrew lady. The last thing he needed to do was be caught by her, since he knew that she was much more aware than she appeared, especially if Lucifer was any indication. Hell, he wouldn’t be surprised if they were fully aware of all that he had done.

No matter, this was something that could be dealt with on a later date. Plus, he wasn’t dense. The creole left a note explaining that he had left something in a previous motel that he stayed in or possibly at the Happy Hotel. Whether or not, they’ll believe it is nothing that he had to worry about at the moment.

Alastor went into his car and looked at his phone, seeing if Husk had responded to him. The man had been around Angelo the longest and may know his password, especially since he’s in charge of keeping track of the guests. Granted, he would be making grand assumptions about his Anthony, but...they were necessary at the moment.

A vibration on his phone caught his attention and Alastor checked the message.

Husker: Why the fuck do you want to know his password? Alastor: Ah! You do know it! Thank goodness that you remain one of my, if not the most, predictable of my friends, Husker. Also, that information is unnecessary. Husker: Any info from you is fucking necessary. Now, what the fuck do you want with it? Alastor: Nice to see your vocabulary remains as limited as usual. If you must know, the ethel had gotten attacked recently and I need to get into this phone. I need to know who hurt him.

As he pulled up into the hotel, Alastor didn’t receive another text from Husk. He assumed that it was going to take a bit more persuading, but he ended up seeing Husk walk up to the car. Al rolled his window down and was about to give a cheeky comment, but Husk tossed a torn piece of paper into the car. He huffed, “Shut the fuck up before I change my mind about you givin’ a shit about anyone. Just leave me out of this. I don’t need to be wrapped up in your shit again. Also, do what you gotta do now and give me the phone afterwards.”

Alastor pouted, “Awww, but what if I need more information?”

The older man rolled his eyes and said, “You won’t. You never were one to forget. ….I’m only doing this for Angelo, not for you. I figured he would be in some deep shit hearing about Val’s death. Just...give them hell.”

The creole grinned coldly up at Husk and chuckled as he typed in the password, “Oh...I plan to.”

Alastor parked his car into the forest nearby and saw an abandoned warehouse about a couple of feet away. Luckily, the plant life was so thick and unkempt that it kept himself fairly hidden. He moved as close as he could without causing too much rustling and saw that there seemed to be at least two people on guard. Seeing them speaking to each other, Al hummed as he moved closer to the miscreants to hear their conversation. The creole truly hated being left out of the loop.

Once he was close enough, he listened to the tanned one complain, “...I’m just saying, man. There ain’t no point. Why do you think it’s just us? No one wants to come to some damn forest. They’re all busy with their, like, ouija boards and...switches...and, I don’t know, jeweling. Stuff like that...look, I got kids, man. I don’t want to waste time with this shit.”

The one that was greying glanced at him and sighed, “You’re a fucking moron. Also, just because there hasn’t been anyone, doesn’t mean that no one will be here. Plus, you think Tony’s family is gonna let Vox off easy. Ya saw how he was when he left. Barely was able to walk. It was surprising watching him start driving-” That was more than enough to assure Alastor that he was making the right decision, not that he had any doubts.

He went back to his car and opened up his trunk. Luckily, he had brought his bag, but he only planned on using his knife for this occasion. No need to set up traps, much harder to clean up the mess. There’s always a stray drop of blood that you always miss. Not to mention that it’s absolute hell to clean in-between the teeth of a bear trap. Al closed his trunk- no, he slammed his trunk as loud as he could, instantly making him hear the two get alerted. Just to add extra flare, the brown-skinned man tossed rocks in two different directions to gain more attention.

Alastor listened to the two whisper to another and scarcely watched them walking toward the forest. Luckily, the woodland was already so dense that he barely needed to hide. These people were just making it so easy for him ~~~ The greying haired man was slowly walking around the woods with a hand on his pistol, ready to pull out his weapon whenever it was deemed necessary. Other than Vox and Val’s crew and a few other associates, no one knew about the location. Well, the forest was pretty well known, but hardly anyone in Eden would go near it. He assumed that it was probably a bunch of kids, thinking that they might be brave or searching for an urban legend or whatever.

Normally, they were told to shoot whoever trespassed, no matter the excuse. However, if they were just kids or teens, the man had no problem with just letting them go with a warning or even threatening to shoot. He was a part of the mafia, but he wasn’t a monster.

The grey haired man jumped at hearing rustling in a bush nearby. He took his gun out and didn’t take the safety off as a just in case. He called out, “Alright, come out slowly and you won’t get a bullet in tha…” He trailed off as a bunny came hopping out from the bush and its little nose twitched up at the guard. The man chuckled, leaned down to the bunny’s height, and whispered, “Hey, don’t worry, buddy. I ain’t Elmer Fudd. You’re safe with me.”

The grey haired man placed a finger to his lips and shushed the rabbit, causing the little guy to bounce away. He gave another laugh as he pocketed his gun and turned to go find the other guard, just to suddenly let out a gurgled, cut-off scream as a knife got embedded halfway into his throat. He trembled as blood slowly came out his mouth, while he choked, staring at a mixed man with a wide smile on his face.

The guard placed a hand weakly onto the well-dressed attacker’s wrist and was about to pull, but the attacker chided, “Ah-ah~! I wouldn’t do that if I were you. It’s actually far more damaging to pull the knife out, since it tends to cause even more damage. Not a lot of people know that~”

He then winked at the greying man and sliced further up his throat, until he got to the bottom of his chin. The man’s tongue flopped out from the large gash in his throat as blood poured down his neck. Alastor was quick to place his jacket on the forest floor to catch the blood that poured out of the victim’s throat. The guard uselessly tried to stop the bleeding by weakly covering his throat and forcing his hanging tongue back into his mouth.

Unfortunately and unsurprisingly, it did absolutely nothing and the man almost fell to the ground. Thankfully, Alastor was there to help settle the guard onto the ground and slowly placed him onto the jacket. He hummed as he grabbed the jacket and started to drag the man through the forest with one arm, looking at his knife with the other. Al gave a small lick to the blood and small bits of skin on the blade.

He muttered as he licked his lips, “Not bad. A little greasy, but that doesn’t mean it has to go to waste. Why, I bet your tongue would be great in an omelette. Using the right spices, you can easily make it taste like beef! What a wonderful treat to say “thank you”!”

Al kept going on and on as he dragged the dead man back into the warehouse. ~~~ The other guard came walking back into the warehouse when he saw smoke coming from a window. He just assumed that the man put on the large furnace to stay warm. It was pretty cold, after all. He called out to the other man, “Artie, you here? I didn’t see anything! I’m guessing it was just a squirrel or…”

He trailed off and dropped his gun when he saw Artie lying on the ground on a jacket with his throat flayed open, exposing many ligaments, veins, and large chunks of meat. There also seemed to be Artie’s tongue inside of a container that had bloodied water inside of it. The guard covered his mouth and was about to turn to run, but he let out a loud scream as his achilles heel got sliced, rendering his foot useless and making him fall to the floor. He whimpered as he tried to quickly crawl away, ignoring the agonizing, searing pain on his heel and the sound of light, quick footsteps near him.

Alastor walked in front of the guard, causing the crawling man to look up at him. The guard whimpered, “P-Please, d-don’t kill m-me!”

Al crouched down and hummed with a large smile, “Well, you know, I would love to do that, but you hurt someone I really cared about. I-I mean, if you did this to send a message, then...message received” he took the knife out of his pocket and stabbed it through the man’s arm, causing him to scream in pain and tremble more on the ground. Tears ran down his face as his screams made his throat raw.

The guard whined, “Pl-lease, I-I didn’t d-do anything! I-I-I didn’t e-even be-eat the fa- Gah!”

He cried as he got a punch to the face, which that pain paled in comparison to anything else. The creole’s smile grew wider to an almost insane degree as he practically growled, “Don’t...finish that word.”

Alastor looked up at the furnace and huffed as he grabbed the knife and yanked it out of the guard’s arm. The man bit his lip, trying not to cry out more. He gave shuddering whine and tried begging again, “P-Please, don’t kill m-me! I have k-kids, m-man, and a-a wife. I-I swear, I did n-nothing to th- ..An-nthony! Please!”

The creole ignored him as he stuffed the corpse into the flames of the large furnace, breathing in the smell of the quickly burning flesh. He was about to turn to the other man, but jumped as a loud bang happened behind him and felt something graze his cheek. Al blinked as he slowly turned to the man and saw him turning to cock the gun, struggling with his injured arm. He quickly walked over to the guard and stomped on his slashed ankle, snapping the bones and causing a loud wet tearing sound to reverberate throughout the warehouse.

Before the guard could do anything, Alastor grabbed the gun and tossed it away. He huffed, grabbing the man’s uninjured leg and began dragging him away, “I was thinking about letting you live, since I don’t particularly enjoy harming children or hearing their annoying cries. However...now, I need you dead for attempting to kill me! I mean, how rude.”

The guard pleaded as he dug, “No! PLEASE! DON’T! HEEELP! HE-” He got cut off as Al picked up the man and tossed him into the fire on top of the slowly burning corpse. His smile got smaller as it turned more into a relieved one, feeling a sense of catharsis at hearing the guard’s blood-curdling cries as he struggled to get out of the flames.

The creole closed the door to the furnace and left the door open to allow the wonderful aroma of burning cowards stretch throughout the place. He hummed along with the guard’s futile cries, took the tongue in the container, and any evidence that was around, he placed it into his bloodied jacket.

He could leave the tongue at the front entrance, but why leave any clues. Alastor wanted them all to never know what will happen next, just like how his dear Anthony went in unaware. He didn't get to kill the people he was looking for, but it certainly was a start. Al smiled, “Very entertaining, indeed~”

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irrlicht-ghostfront · 5 years ago

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not today

A/N: Now what is this. @thefinaltaterthot made up a Hazbin HS AU that I snatched away from her. I will probably never write this in full, but little snippets like this one? Maybe. We’ll see. I don’t know yet. Only thing to know: High School AU, Human, FTM Alastor

Summary: Husk braved the question and kissed Alastor. It was good. It was so good that it made Husk smile all day. It could’ve worked out, too. It could’ve been so nice.

_____________________________________

“Can I kiss you?”

It’s weird. He’s never asked before, it just always happened. But this time, it’s more important, it just means more. So he needs to be sure. He needs to ask.

Alastor just stares at him blankly, and then slowly nods. He smiles, grabs his hands and leans in. He’s never kissed someone in a soft manner before – usually kisses would lead to sex and as such, they tended to be a bit on the hard and messy side – so this was a change of pace. Not utterly unwelcome, and he could certainly get used to this.

He doesn’t want to go too far this first time; after all, there are gonna be many more kisses after this one, so he can take his time. Husk wants to savour this moment, ingrain it into his brain so that he might never forget it – and hopefully so that Alastor will always remember it fondly, as well.

This moment stays for about a minute before Husk retreats and opens his eyes again. He feels good. There’s a smile on his face and it feels weird. He wonders if he can keep it and, for once, report nice news to Mariah. Alastor looks up at him still and he squeezes his hands. He wants to kiss him again, but he feels better to leave that to some other time. He nods once, like the complete fool he is.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”

Shit he sounds breathy. But that’s okay. He nods again, and looks Alastor up and down one last time before nodding yet again and then, finally leaving. Maybe they’ll kiss again tomorrow, and maybe Alastor will have already shared it with the group. Maybe they were a couple already? It felt so weird, thinking about that. He’d never believed that one day; he’d have an actual relationship; and a healthy one at that. It sounds so insane; it must be true.

When he arrives at work, the smile is still on his face. All his co-workers, of course only knowing him for being an old grump, are flabbergasted. They keep asking him if something happened, but honestly, how would he describe one of the best things that have ever happened to him? It simply wouldn’t make sense if you hadn’t been there.

He’s happy. For the first time in his life, he’s just happy.

He’s so happy in fact, that he doesn’t even steal several bottles of alcohol from the stock room.

Mariah is already asleep when he comes home and he’s a bit bummed about that. He had been so excited to share the good news, but alas, tomorrow was still a day. It wasn’t worth waking her up for that. But he couldn’t just sit still, so he sat next to her bed and told her in hushed tones regardless. It feels good to share it with somebody, even if that someone is dead to the world and he’d have to re-tell it tomorrow, but some stories are being worth told multiple times.

Husk is still on his high well through the next school day. If he wasn’t so happy, he’d be concerned. He was hoping to catch Alastor in the hallway but he hadn’t seen the boy anywhere. No matter. He would see him very soon; and he was looking forward to that.

He, as usual, calls Mariah after his classes are done and before he heads to the theatre room. He wants to share the good news, but it doesn’t feel right over the phone. And saying “I have a boyfriend” is a lot better than just saying “I kissed someone”, at least in his opinion.

He wonders. How should he greet Alastor? Should he just hug him? Kissing him isn’t the right thing to do, he guesses. Although he would very much like to do so, it’s perhaps best to talk about this beforehand. He’s fidgeting with his hands. Maybe they would hold hands. Bah, thinking isn’t gonna help, now. It’s best to just head over there and see what happens.

“...like it.”

Oh. They are talking about something. Husk usually arrives last, so that isn’t unusual. Normally, he’d just barge in anyway because he doesn’t care, but – this time, something makes him stop. Something tells him he should listen first.

“I always thought he’d be a good kisser. Dunno; he just looks the part.”

“It wasn’t that, I think. I – I have no reference. I don’t think it was bad, I just... didn’t like it.”

“Did he use tongue? I bet he used tongue.”

“No, Anthony, he did not. Can we not talk about these details, please? Fact is, he kissed me and I didn’t like it. I didn’t like it all.”

Oh.

Alastor hadn’t liked their kiss. And he’d been so sure he’d done well. Maybe it had been a blessing that Mariah had been sleeping yesterday. Does that also mean –?

“Maybe he’s just not good at kissing. I mean, you do like him, Al, right?”

“I – yes. I like him as much as I like you, Charlie.”

“What? No! That’s not what I meant! I meant; you like like him, right?”

“...”

“She means: do you love him?”

“...oh. I... no. I don’t think I do.”

Well, there is that, then. Maybe he deserves that. What had he been thinking? Alastor was a great dude and he – he was just Husk. A little low-life with no hopes for the future. Just – it would’ve been nice to have this as a pleasant memory. A small light from the past to illuminate the dark road ahead. What a fool he had been, thinking he could have that. Nice things aren’t supposed to be for him.

“Do you want me to kick him out, Al?”

“No. He didn’t do anything wrong; and he did ask.”

“But you gotta tell him, sugar, otherwise you’ll just be cruel.”

“I told you to not call me that, Anthony.”

But Husk doesn’t want to be told. He wants to live in the lie he made up for himself yesterday. A lie in which Alastor enjoyed what they had. He wants to go. He wants to ditch this stupid activity today, but he can’t. He needs this fucking thing to pass the fucking grade.

He clenches his jaw. He should go in. They’d stop talking, they could start, and then they could be fucking done. And he could get the fuck out of here without talking to Alastor.

He takes a deep breath and goes in.

They all stare at him like a fucking deer caught in the fucking headlights.

“What. I know I’m fucking late, let’s fucking start already.”

With Niffty around, he shouldn’t use foul language so much, but he doesn’t care. He sees Charlie taking a breath as if she wants to say something but he undermines her immediately:

“What the fuck you’re still standing around for, huh? Get into fucking position assholes.”

After that, he simply goes into the back to operate the light and sound. He doesn’t listen to them perform. At this point he knows how long they need for a scene and if they complain he just tells them they’re off schedule if they can’t keep up. Vaggie is angry at him, he knows, and Charlie looks like she’s gonna send him a strongly-worded letter, but honestly, what strong words would she even know?

After they’re done, Alastor tugs at his sleeve.

“Husk, I need to talk to you.”

He looks so serious, too. His eyes are set, his shoulder squared as much as he can and he puffed out his chest, like a rooster. The problem is only that Husk doesn’t want to listen. So he shakes his head.

“I don’t have the time, pal. Tomorrow maybe, yeah? I gotta get to work quick now. Don’t forget to take your binder off tonight, yeah?”

And he just leaves after that. He didn’t lie – he does need to get to work quickly. He doesn’t know what he’ll do tomorrow. Maybe if he manages for long enough, Alastor will get tired of it and just drop it? But with his luck, he’ll get cornered in the hallway by all of them, small as they are – and he’ll be forced to talk. But not today. Today he gets to walk away.

Maybe it’ll be all better by tomorrow.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin husk #hazbin alastor #fanfic #hazbin hotel fanfic #alastor x husk #radioshow #radiohusk #high school au #first kiss

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itsclydebitches · 5 years ago

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Lovely Good Omens fandom! Many of you have asked for/mentioned having a text version of the Yelp reviews, which if I were a better person I would have remembered to include in the first place. Better late than never? So here’s a version below and I also threw this up on AO3 so there are options. For the record, I’m not at all trained in transcribing visual media, so if anyone wants to add to/edit/do whatever to this post, especially to make it more accessible, you have carte blanche to do so 👍

Also I typed this up in a hurry so, as always, apologies for any typos.

Tagging: @lethargicdolphin, @marithlizard, @pearwaldorf

A.Z. Fell and Co. Antiquarian and Unusual Books

Recommended Reviews

Lindsay F.

London, United Kingdom

71 friends

3000 reviews

9874 photos

So I slipped into this place because I spotted my ex across the street and would have rather chugged a cocktail of bleach, lighter fluid, and a condensed solution of all my middle school years then talk to that asshole. Owner was on me the second I walked through the door and I thought he was gonna be one of those ‘Either buy something or get out’ types. Nah. I spilled the story, said I really wasn’t looking to purchase anything, and he LIT UP like nobody’s business. He gave me tea and promised I’d never run into my ex again. Which is a super sketchy promise on its own and also should have been hilarious coming from a guy a century behind in style.

...Kinda believed him though.

Marina G.

London, United Kingdom

0 friends

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Pretty sure this guy wants a library, not a bookshop. I mean, he’s nice and all when you first come in, but trying to actually buy a book? Good fucking luck. He’s too busy to see you right now (for the record he’s super bad at pretending to be busy). Or claims that this book has already been put on reserve (then why wasn’t it in the reserve pile...?). Or the price suddenly jumped an obscene amount. Or he just straight up hems and haws until you get fed up and leave. I watched him pull a novel straight out of a woman’s hands once when she claimed that price was no object and she wouldn’t be leaving the store until she’d purchased it. You’d think she was trying to kidnap one of the guy’s kids!

So yeah. Feel like popping in to browse, maybe take pictures for your research, all while making quiet conversation with someone who quite frankly knows his stuff? This is the place for you. Want to actually buy something? Go elsewhere. Pretty sure Fell doesn’t even own a cash register. At least I’ve never seen one.

He wants a library and I’d honestly tell him as much if he didn’t scare me just a little bit...

Aaron S.

New York, NY

68 friends

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I stayed here for three days once. Found a bathroom off the romance section and a chair hidden away in the back. Way comfier than my mattress at home. Mostly played iPhone games and kept real quiet at night. Experiment ended when I popped out for breakfast and didn’t make it back before a random 10:00am closing. Don’t think the owner ever realized what was up.

Hana S.

London, United Kingdom

112 friends

115 reviews

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I really love this place. I’ve been coming here since I moved to London, about twelve years ago, and it’s one of the most soothing bookstores I’ve ever had the pleasure of visiting. Yeah, you hear talk of weird things going on at Fell’s, but really? We could all do with a bit more quirky in our lives. And Fell provides that in spades: Annual plants that never seem to wither, let alone die. The smell of incense mixing with cocoa. Strange books tucked horizontally into the shelves, feeling like they have a touch of magic to them. Nonsensical conversations taking place in dark corners (I’m talking candid chats about the apocalypse and whether angels could actually bless all the rains down in Africa. I swear Fell and his boyfriend are the religion Mythbusters or something.) I’m going to sound like a total nerd here for a moment, but it feels like some sort of liminal space. You know when you were a kid and you were just desperate to receive your Hogwarts letter? Or find your own wardrobe to Narnia? That’s what walking into Fell’s feels like. Like you’ve finally found that portal and can stay as long as you like, provided you don’t try to take anything back with you into the ‘real’ world. Hell, maybe that’s why he won’t let anyone buy his books.

Robert T.

Union City, CA

4 friends

26 reviews

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There’s a snake?? In this shop?? A reALLY MASSIVE SNAKE????? What are y’all doing talkin’ about your meet cutes and shit someone call pest control!

Malini D.

London, United Kingdom

0 friends

48 reviews

99 photos

I’m not gonna pretend I have anything to say about whether this is a good bookstore or not, but if you ever want knitting help you should definitely stop by. Mr. Fell knows an absurd amount about crafts for a guy who looks like my grandpa and he’s now replaced Youtube as my go-to for alleviating “Omg please fix this how the hell did I manage to reverse the pattern??” panic. For the record, I didn’t just wander up to a random bookseller one day and demand that he help me salvage the ruins of my first sweater. I’d taken a seat inside to wait out a storm, had my messy sleeve stuffed into my purse, and he’d offered the help. Bit of a bastard about things like gauge and color--not everyone wants to wear tartan, dude--but you get used to that. He means well. Said I should come back to show him the finished piece, which I did. Things just kind of spiraled from there. He’s an absolute treasure trove of knowledge once you get him talking and a muffin to boot. If he were twenty years younger and in any way straight I would have asked him out in a heartbeat. As it is I’m considering setting him up with Grandpa.

Tiffany L.

London, United Kingdom

132 friends

312 reviews

34 photos

I’m not really a book person myself but I followed my wife in with our seventh-month old and was kinda embarrassed when he started making a fuss. Normally I’m full Badass Mom mode while in public--I’ve got a kid to feed, change, sooth, and you all can damn well deal with it--but this place was so quiet Liam seemed extra loud in comparison. I was about to take him back out when a man appeared out of nowhere. The owner I guess, based on how some of these other reviews describe him. Older gentleman with clothes out of some period piece. Anyway, he scoops Liam into his arms like he was born for it and started bouncing. Our fussy, temperamental, drama queen Liam settled in an instant and my wife got to browse to her heart’s content. I don’t know how he did it, but that man is an absolute angel. Full stars for that moment alone.

Gillian L.

The Hague, The Netherlands

283 friends

256 reviews

60 photos

Anyone know if the old Bentley parked out front is for sale?

Update: It’s really, really, really not

Billy H.

Austen, TX

40 friends

2073 reviews

774 photos

QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS SO MANY QUEER BOOKS!!!

Gabriela G.

London, United Kingdom

3 friends

22 reviews

1 photos

Run by this delightfully frumpy guy who sometimes hands out biscuits from a sewing tin like my gran used to. He asked me if I was looking for anything in particular and I told him my name was Jared, I was 19, but sadly I’d never learned how to read. I have NEVER seen a man more confused in my life. 10/10 would meme him again.

Colie A.

Enola, PA

201 friends

2778 reviews

10382 photos

I’m setting the record straight here since there are a bunch of reviews claiming it’s just London folklore: there is a snake at A.Z. Fell’s. Must be an exotic pet he usually keeps upstairs because I’ve only ever seen it twice. Is it big? Yes. Scary? Fuck yes, but I’ve never seen it do anything more than give a warning hiss at this drunk who wandered in and started yelling. (Are snakes good guard dogs? This one is.) The other time he was just chilling on top of one of the shelves. Snoozing, I guess. I asked Mr. Fell if I could pet him and he said maybe after he woke up, but then I had to get to class and all.

Afraid of snakes? Steer clear. Otherwise I’d really recommend popping in and seeing if he’s around. Idk, maybe I’m just a snake fan but he looks super sweet and chill. Life is short. Boop the snake snoot.

Jeremy W.

London, United Kingdom

86 friends

409 reviews

12 photos

I live down the street from A.Z. Fell’s and let me tell you, this place is spooky as fuck. All sorts of weird lights and noises coming from it. At all times of the day and night too. Either this bowtie wearing bookworm has one crazy sex life or the place is haunted. Jury’s out on which.

Heather Ki.

London, United Kingdom

0 friends

3852 reviews

1 photos

This shop smells. Not that old book smell either, oh no, but like something is molding. I took my little Johnny in here to try and get him interested in something other than those damned video games and I walk into what smells like a whole cloud of toxic mold! My boy has a weak constitution as it is and if he comes down with anything I will be pressing charges, you mark my words.

Jo. W.

London, United Kingdom

32 friends

410 reviews

61 photos

Hey, does anyone want to talk about the fact that this place burned down last month? As in, completely up in flames, I saw it happen, nothing but a smoking husk afterwards? Does no one else remember this??

Tiggi N.

London, United Kingdom

32 friends

33 reviews

24 photos

Has anyone read this guy’s opening hours? I included a photo above: “I open the shop on most days about 9:30AM perhaps 10:AM. While occasionally I have opened the shop as early as 8, I have been known not to open until 1.” Absolutely insane. This guy’s a madman and I love him. If anyone actually manages to get into this place please let me know because I need to shake Fell’s hand.

Mackenzie J.

City Centre, Manchester, United Kingdom

807 friends

2592 reviews

13218 photos

I told my girlfriend this shop’s got a snake named Anthony and she didn’t believe me. Going back for proof next week.

Update: got the snake selfie!!!!!!!!

Penny O.

Chicago, IL

87 friends

557 reviews

16 photos

Caught the owner snogging some hot twink behind the cookbooks. Well done, my dude.

#good omens #ineffable husbands #air conditioning #good omens fic

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lilnasxvevo · 7 years ago

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I wrote an essay once when it was really late and I was really frustrated

I am not going to send it to my literary journal and I did not even hand it in for the class I wrote it for (the next essay I wrote was passable enough to submit) but I think it is kind of funny so I am going to share it with you

Zoom Zoom

Draft number four of this FUCKING essay because I can’t FUCKING write. I just through out the last three because they sucked and excuse my language but I’m so frustrated at myself and I typed the wrong homophone in the last sentence and I went back and changed it but then I changed it back so you understand where I’m at right now because I NEVER!! MAKE!! SPELLING MISTAKES!! I was on the editorial staff of my high school newspaper for two years and that shit was flawless! I was editor in chief and that shit was free of god damn error! I do not make! Spelling mistakes!

I’m so frustrated because part of me just wants to write about a motherfucking TV show and the rest of me is like, “No, Thomas, that’s so fucking stupid, write about something that’s serious, something people can take seriously, something people can respect, but NOT something boring” and I’m like OK!! WELL!! THAT’S A TALL ORDER YOU’VE GIVEN YOURSELF TOMMY BOY!!

I’ve been trying to copy the style of the essays we’ve been reading in the last three drafts I just started and abandoned. I wrote…lets see…(I will be keeping all future grammar and spelling errors that I make) over 1300 words that way so far today. Fuck it!! I am going to be writing like ME and what I write like is a protagonist from a really sub-par young adult novel. I read a lot of those! But I was already like that before I read all those books. Actually most of the ones I read are pretty great. Holly Black, David Levithan, uh those Girl, 15, Charming but Insane books I forget who writes them but if I look it up I have to stop my timer and that is just not happening—check em out, they’re great. Oh, Eoin Colfer, too. I have his autograph! I actually also have David’s.

I made a list of all the things I could write this essay about. I didn’t want to write about being queer again because I don’t want you people to pigeonhole me. There’s like 50 items on that list. I’ll spare you. The list sucks. I texted my best friend “What should I write this essay about” and she said “Roman Catholicism” and I was like “Maybe” and she was like “Vampires” and I was like “LMFAO you will never believe what I wrote last time spoiler it was vampires.”

I have ADHD. Sometimes this surprises people! Sometimes it does not! Usually it doesn’t surprise other people who have ADHD because we go based on our lived experiences instead of stereotypes unlike SOME people. I was diagnosed when I was 17 which is super super late but they literally, and you can look this up, base most criteria off of the symptoms of little white cisgender boys, who are usually hyperactive, and I was inattentive type. My third grade teacher used to slap my desk with a ruler when I spaced out. She never brought up my attention issues to anyone else. I hated her. I still hate her. Curse you, Cathy Sellers!!

I have chilled out on the caps lock because maybe that was kind of a gimmick. Ok. Well. The ADHD. I actually don’t remember why I brought up ADHD, which is classic ADHD. Oh. I think it was to say that maybe you will be surprised that the inside of my head is this giant mess. Not to be all “welcome to my twisted mind” or that edgy shit. Maybe I’m trying to make an embarrassing essay on purpose. The point is some people think I’m very composed and stuff and the inside of my head has never once been composed. Well, maybe a few times. I miss standardized testing because they don’t really matter and they were fun to focus on and it was fun to fill the bubbles in and they made me feel smart. I am smart. I promise I’m smart. Sometimes people think I’m dumb because I’m a trans man which I don’t understand but I promise I’m smart.

I just slapped my face to try to get myself to wake up a little bit. I am wiped. That cold that’s been going around is kicking my ass, though not as bad as it’s kicking the ass of other students in this class who I have maybe potentially had to drive to the pharmacy this week.

I am so obsessed with this show on BBC America right now called Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency. In ADHD circles this is sometimes called a hyperfixation—it’s kind of like the special interests autistic people have, surprise surprise ADHD and autism are both developmental disorders and they have a lot in common. Dirk Gently is all I can think about. It’s a really great show and I loved it last season because it has the actor Samuel Barnett as the lead actor and I swore my fealty to him in like 2014 and then he got a lead on a TV show which is crazy because he never gets big roles like that so I was like NICE!!! Yeah, so last season was sci-fi, and the show is really great and it has this big diverse cast and all the characters are really interesting and the show never leans on stereotype instead of fleshing out a character as a unique person and there were electric crossbows last season that were designed by that Adam Savage dude from Mythbusters. So but this season, THIS SEASON, is SO good because apparently the show is planning on “switching genres” every season but with the same main cast so now they’ve been running around trying to find each other after everyone got separated at the end of last season (spoiler) and now they’re all in Montana and instead of sci-fi it’s FANTASY which is my FAVORITE. There’s another dimension that’s this great high-fantasy nation called Wendimoor and there’s a door between the valley of Inglenook and this one town in Montana for reasons that I refuse to explain, just watch the show. Ok and in Inglenook, there’s—it’s kind of sketchy how it works but there’s this guy named Panto Trost who has pink hair (his whole family has pink hair and it’s unclear if it’s genetic or if they dye it as a tribal marker or something, and when I first saw it I was like, HOLY SHIT, WHY DID I NEVER THINK OF THAT), and he’s the prince of Inglenook, and there’s this guy named Silas Dengdamor, who’s some kind of minor prince in Inglenook somehow, and THEY. ARE. A GAY INTERRACIAL HIGH FANTASY COUPLE. THEY ARE IN LOVE.

And the guy who plays Silas, Lee Majdoub, he’s really active on Twitter and Tumblr, which is crazy because almost no one is active on Tumblr under their real name and it’s mostly just depressed young adults like me, but Lee fields questions about the show all the time and talks about how it was an honor to play a gay prince and he has so much love for Silas and he put so much work into this character which you can tell because he has an answer ready for everything. Has he ridden that train we saw? Is he gay or bi or what? What are his hobbies? If he lived in our world what would his favorite movie be? His five favorite songs? Does he agree with his family’s stance on the feud? (Oh my god I forgot to MENTION that the Trosts and the Dengdamors are TWO FAMILIES AT WAR, which makes Silas and Panto basically gay Romeo and Juliet, but hopefully they won’t die but Dirk Gently is a “don’t get attached” kind of show.)

And did I mention he’s respectful??? My favorite answer he’s ever given is when someone asked him what it was like to kiss Chris Russell (the other actor), which is a question every fucking presumed-straight actor gets when they play a gay role, and since there is a 4 inch height difference between them, Lee answered something like, “It was a little weird because Chris is very tall, so I felt a little like Natalie Portman in Thor. Natalie Portman and I both have dark hair so we’re practically twins.” Also he is very handsome. It is important that Lee Majdoub is very handsome. Okay, it’s important to me.

Wow, glad I got that off my chest. It’s kind of all I ever want to talk about. Two weeks ago, before I could do my actual writing assignment for the day, I had to freewrite about Kevin Spacey for like AN HOUR. What I wrote ended up being kind of unusable for this class thus far, I just haven’t been pleased enough with the way it handled a very sensitive topic to hand it in, but it was about Kevin Spacey and Jeffrey Dahmer and OUT magazine and news media and Anthony Rapp and me.

I wanted to write about a historical figure for this paper but all the ones I could think of that I have a strong connection to were gay. While I was typing that sentence, I thought of Dorothy Parker. Well, shit. Another day, then.

This paper is what we call a RISK!!! pleasedontfailme

Here are some excerpts from the other three papers I tried to write today:

· Sometimes I sing and dance in front of them. Sometimes I scream. One time, I stood on a desk.

· The last time I told her I was proud of her I could only do it because she had consumed an obscene amount of wine and called me to talk about one of Shakespeare’s history plays

· I am afraid that I am a husk a husk a HUSK a husK a husk a husk a husk of Corn-ell because

I promise these essays were not good. These were the only good parts. I wanted to include them because I wanted you to understand that I covered a lot of fucking ground before settling on whatever the fuck this is. I am sorry if you feel you would rather be reading one of those other essays, but I did not want to write them.

I just scrolled back up to the top because I remembered abruptly that this essay doesn’t have a name. It’s called Zoom Zoom now. When my sister is bored while she drives, she says, “Zoom zoom! We’re zooming!” She is 24 and has a master’s degree. This particular catchphrase of hers always comes to mind when I try to describe how my brain works—childish, too fast, bored. Her boyfriend says “Brroom brroom” when he drives. I think he picked it up from her. He calls me Thomathy. Because Thomas can be Tom for short and Tom is like Tim and Tim is short for Timothy. Get it? He says “Thomathy” sounds like a disease. I think he likes me anyway. Even though one time during a heated game of Monopoly I told him I would eat chips at his funeral.

I have three cats. One is ten years old, the other two are one. I have a rabbit. He’s a jerk. That’s all you need to know about me. Oh, I’m from Wisconsin. My favorite color is orange.

Yeah so thanks for coming to my TED talk. Please buy a t-shirt on my way out, they’re $20. I know TED talks don’t usually have t-shirts but I want your money. Yes. Now scram.

Are they gone?

Jesus, I’m so fucking tired.

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