#Oh also I forgot to mention: feel free to use this as fanfiction reference!!!!

[just-like-playing-tag]

A reconstruction of how the Grace Field children were settled in the three bedrooms (revisited!!)

09/09/2019 Update: thanks to @temporoom, who kindly pointed out some manga panels that I hadn’t noticed, we were able to figure out more precisely the members of Ray’s room, as well as the complessive number of kids in his and Norman’s room!

18/04/'21 Update: Who would have thought I would have updated this post again yet here we are! Noticed a panel that shows Norman's room in chapter 30, so Hans has been confirmed to be in Norman's room.

I was bored in the break between one chapter and the other so I tried to guess how the children were divided in the three bedrooms back at GF.

I was mostly curious about two things:

• To see if the children had been separated according to a particular scheme (dividing them according to their ages, for example)

• How the children within the same room could have influenced each other personality-wise, since at the end of the day not only they spent a little more time together than they did with the rest of the children, but we also know that the older ones were in charge of looking after the younger in their own room (I think I can affirm I was quite right about there being a connection: for instance in Emma’s room can be noticed the biggest concentration of perky children).

I think the results I came to are fairly close to the actual disposition so I thought I could as well share them!

Those marked by a star are the ones I’m 100% sure of, while the others are suppositions based on how the children are shown interacting both in the manga and in the anime. Besides from Emma’s room, whose members are all certain, the children from the other rooms are listed from what I personally consider more likely to be true to the less likely.

38 children in total (29 in rooms, 9 with mama) (including Conny)

Emma’s room (11 children) (In the order of the beds’ disposition)

First row:

*Phil ★

*Lani ★

*Chamberlain ★

*Marnya ★

*Chris ★

*Yvette ★

Second row:

*Thoma ★

*Tom ★

*Jasper ★

*Gilda ★

*Emma ★

Norman’s room (9 children)

*Norman ★

*Sherry ★ (her bed is the one on the right of Norman’s)

*Damdin ★

*Hans ★

*Nat

*Vivian

*Dominic

*Mark

*Naila

Ray’s room (9 children)

*Ray ★

*Conny ★

*Alicia ★

*Don ★

*Eugene ★

*Anna ★

*Nina ★

*Jemima

*Rossi

Under the cut the details on which scenes made me come to each conclusion, together with some observations I made about the data!

Now, I just spent four hours trying to figure out how to make the “keep reading” thing show in the app too… If Tumblr will anyway decide to make this post appear in its full length, I’m terribly sorry for having polluted your dash with this.

38 children in total (ep 1, 04:32)

9 children in mama’s bedroom (chapter 7, page 1)

29 in the other three rooms (38-9=29)

Emma’s room (11 children)

All of the children except from Yvette can be seen in ep 1, 02:51 and 20:21, when Emma’s room is shown from above

*Phil ★

*Lani ★

*Chamberlain ★ (also confirmed by chapter 9 extras)

*Marnya ★

*Chris ★

*Yvette ★ (ep 1, 03:03: is shown running with Chris in the room immediately after Emma has woken everybody up)

*Thoma ★

*Tom ★ (also confirmed by chapter 9 extras)

*Jasper ★

*Gilda ★

*Emma ★

Norman’s room (9 children)

*Norman ★

*Sherry ★ (chap 15, page 6 / ep 5, 13:01: is shown waking up Norman; her name is also visible on the bed on Norman’s right at 13:07; chap 30, page 104: is waking up in Norman's room)

*Damdin ★ (chap 15, page 6 / ep 5, 13:01: is shown waking up Norman; chap 30, page 104: is waking up in Norman's room)

*Hans ★ (chap 30, page 104: is waking up in Norman's room; ep 1, 03:20: is shown in the cafeteria before anyone from Ray’s group has entered)

*Nat (chap 2, page 4: is shown entering the cafeteria together with Norman)

*Vivian (ep 2, 02:32: is shown entering the cafeteria together with Norman)

*Dominic (ep 1, 03:12: is shown following Nat)

*Mark (out of exclusion, since he and Naila are supposedly in the same room (are said to be good friends by chapter 9 extras, are often shown together in the morning scenes) and I think it’s more likely for Jemima and Rossi to belong to Ray’s room and not viceversa)

*Naila (See above)

Ray’s room (9 children)

*Ray ★

*Conny ★ (chap 13, page 16: Norman says that Ray and Conny where in the same room)

*Alicia ★ (chap 14, page 19: is shown in Ray’s room)

*Don ★ (chap 14, page 19: is shown in Ray’s room)

*Eugene ★ (chap 14, page 19: is shown in Ray’s room)

*Anna ★ (chap 14, page 19: is shown in Ray’s room)

*Nina ★ (chap 14, page 19: is shown in Ray’s room)

*Jemima (chap 2, page 4: is shown being already in the cafeteria before Norman enters) (chap 15, page 6: is shown being already in the cafeteria before Norman enters, and she also greets him, so chances are that that’s the first time seeing him in the morning)

*Rossi (ep 1, 03:12: is shown being assisted by Anna while he’s washing his face (this follows the rule: older siblings help the younger siblings of their respective room))

Observations:

•As you can see, most of the children besides from Emma’s room were placed keeping in mind that in the early morning children of the same room are more likely to be together; this is in some way confirmed from how in episode one we see Emma exiting from her room and entering the cafeteria with all of his group, without mixing with the others.

•Differently from what I first thought, it’s evident that the children aren’t disposed in a way that equally distributes those of the same age across the rooms: Thoma and Lani for example are surely sharing the same room. Anyway on second thought a disposition of the kind couldn’t have been done in the first place: since GF receives 6 children per year, and they for sure survive till their sixth birthday, there must be at least two children per room of the same age till they start being shipped. I can assume then that either Anna-Nat, Gilda-Don and the trio were in different rooms since the very start, or that some sort of redistribution of the older children happens with the children that are 10+ years old (it would make sense since each room needs some old children to take care of the youngest).

•I still have no clue on why Emma’s room has more children than the other two, when the more logical disposition would clearly be 10/10/9. Maybe it’s because in hers the number of candidate to become mamas amounts to two; another guess is for the redistribution to not happen immediately after one’s shipment (this way if the previous shipments where from Norman’s and Ray’s rooms those would have stayed emptier than Emma’s).

•Turns out Norman and Ray’s rooms have the same number of children in their rooms (9)! Here’s how @temporoom ended up with that number (thank you again for this information!!!)

•As previously stated, Emma’s room seem to welcome those with a big energetic and cheerful inclination; other symilaries that I menaged to notice between the tempers of the children sharing rooms are that in Ray’s there’s this type of quiet and thoughtful children (Anna, Jemima, Rossi); I can also see some similarities between Norman and Nat but I can’t really seem to explain this one.

•Also, apparently Conny shared room with Ray, making everything even more angsty ;;;

•Ray also shared room with Jemima, so it’s nice to think about their interaction in ep 12 keeping this in mind; Jemima had probably been shocked (but in a good way) seeing the change in Ray: if I’m right it wasn’t the first time for him to take care of her, but she definitely must have noticed the difference in taking care of his siblings because that was his duty (that him had probably fulfilled in a very cold and distanced way, since he didn’t want to get attached to children he knew he would have later left to die) and taking care of them in a tender way because he actually did care a lot and he could finally allow himself to care about them.

•Lastly, to the delight of RayAnna shippers, these two supposedly shared room too, so they actually where a little closer than with the children from other rooms!!

[senadimell]

Fic writer tag game thing

I was tagged to do this by @rockymountainrattlesnake--you rock!

How many works do you have on a03?

5 at the moment. Someday I will finish the Martha Jones character study I’m working on...

What’s your total a03 word count?

107,733 officially, but one of those is an exerpt taken from a longer fic, which puts me at 105,782, and then we’d need to subtract out the poetry exerpts in Promises, so...

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

HA.

But I have Promises to Keep

The World in Ten Seconds

Growing Where Planted

Suspended Between Moments

Black and White are Also Colors

The order seems very logical.

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Pretty much always. Sometimes I forget and write back months later, but I get really enthusiastic when people like my work (I swear I will answer my inbox soon!) Most of my stuff involves some degree of character analysis, so I enjoy continuing that discussion in the comments. (And compliments make my day, not gonna lie.)

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

That would be The World in Ten Seconds, I think. Looking at my work (published and unpublished), it’s a lot easier to be angsty when I’m doing an analysis-focused piece, because those tend to be snapshots in time. Narrative stories tend to end on a more hopeful note.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

But I Have Promises to Keep by virtue of being finished. It’s not totally happy, but there’s a lot of catharsis in there.

Do you write crossovers? if so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

Yes because my brain connects dots fast enough to make even a kangaroo court cringe. However, I haven’t published/finished any. I do have a Discworld/Doctor Who piece that’s a meditation on death, survivors, and moving on. The title will involve the word “Grandfathers.”

Then of course there’s the Q/Master epic enemies-to-lovers that I don’t have the guts to write.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

No! Very grateful for that. There was one awkward incident involving a commenter shaming non-commenters, but that’s behind us now.

Do you write smut? if so, what kind?

Nope.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? 

Not that I know of...? Seems unlikely TBH

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

well...there was that one Eragon set-in-Alegaesia OC epistolary back in high school...

What’s your all-time favourite ship?

hm hm hm hm. So I’ve found that I really like very very close platonic intimacy, except that sometimes looks like “you are the most important person in my life and I would die for you but we haven’t put a name to this thing we have and we don’t really kiss etc. but we might hold hands/cuddle/whatever and it doesn’t mean anything and I know random mundane things about you like your shoe size or soda preference (did I mention I would die for you?)” which sounds kind of like shipping? 

So I’d have to say Nine/Rose or angsty Ten/Rose, with an emphasis on healing (see: RockyMountainRattlesnake’s Polyergus, A Wretched Ark, Terminarch, V762CAS’s Than All the Blue in the World).

I usually stick more or less with canon in most fandoms--if it’s not there, I don’t/can’t imagine it happening since romance is kind of weird and foreign to me. I tend to go for established relationships rather than “will-they-won’t they” stuff (Tevye/Golde, Vimes/Sybil etc. Though if we’re going musicals, I do actually like Elphaba/Fiero. I’ve never read anything about it, though.)

OH! I forgot! I don’t know if this counts, but I’m obsessed with sixbeforelunch’s Vulcan OCs, T'Lin and Veral, in the Pi’maat series.

Also the very specific way Erik/Christine works in Antiquarianne’s Phantom of the Opera piece The Sum of Earthly Happiness.

What’s a wip that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I don’t know if I’ll be able to finish the Grandfathers piece...it’s Discworld-primary from a stylistic perspective, and uh...I am not Terry Pratchett. I want to finish it, but I’ve got to be in the zone (reading a lot of Discworld stuff to get a feel for the style) and have SO MUCH PATIENCE because mimicking him is like writing poetry, if poetry was an accepted form of forced confession to be read for ridicule on live TV.

What are your writing strengths?

Purple prose.

yes i know that’s not supposed to be a compliment

.

Seriously, though I do tend to wax fruity in my writing, and I have a lot of fun with it. I think I’m also pretty good at writing conversations and arguments.

What are your writing weaknesses?

hehehehe

kill your darlings.

Editing? Who is she?

Which is funny, because I also do that stupid thing where getting words-on-paper is more painful than drawing a fishhook out of the fish’s throat when it’s mangled deep in the flesh. Is it perfectionism? I don’t know. Not in the anxious sense, certainly, because I can’t be chuffed to do a line edit before publishing. It’s more like I have two modes:

“Susan mad Grandfather confused insert Wrinkle In Time reference exept Uriel weird out of context IT vs keys of Marius brains fight”

or

“He’d known what Jackie was going to pull before Rose even passed on the invite, and he went and acted like Rose’d saddled him with an old ticket stub fished from her pocket. Trifling. Something you tossed in the first bin you saw.   You think pretending it was only ever ‘her choice’ will wash away the guilt when you finally kill her?

That and...actually writing. Lost my mojo a while back and haven’t been able to get back into a routine since. Balancing life stuff and creative hobbies is a work in progress.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I think I generally would limit it to well-known exclamations or phrases for the most part. I’m familiar enough to use some Mandarin and not utterly fail, but I know I don’t have the rhythm or grace of a native speaker and it’s not something I have in mind to pursue right now.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Hm. Fortunately that is all tucked away in hand-written notebooks before I got perfection-scared off of writing past the 7th grade. I’ve been doing the whole fanfiction in my head consciously since 2nd grade, but the first stuff I think I wrote down was either Snape stuff or Eragon/Alagaesia stuff. Not exactly worldshaking.

What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

The World in Ten Seconds! Gah, I’m so proud of that thing. Also I really adore Black and White are Also Colors, though some of my favorite bits aren’t published yet. That one’s a lot more idiosyncratic...a lot of infodumping about color and language and ideas in translation. I’ll probably get the next chapter of that up before I’m able to start working on Growing Where Planted.

Tagging (feel free to answer or not as you have desire or energy--also I’m sorry if I have misremembered your fic-writing tendencies or lack thereof) @pazithigallifreya​ @phoenixrisesoncemore​  @forever-food-and-fandoms​@loupettes @elialys  @onlycosmere​

[sourestlemon]

So. I made a bet with my friend that I could get through Omegaverse Haikyuu fanfiction because he says I can’t so if I read https://archiveofourown.org/works/13330632/chapters/30514041 that I’m going to get free icecream and twenty bucks.

But still, Bokuaka! Bokuaka is beautiful, I should rant about it more actually

This is me talking about this fic as I read, so it’ll be updated until I finish

Note, I’ve finished and it’s very very long. You’ve been warned

There’s my review and meta at the end of this as well as some critiques

Spoilers ahead.

“The Jewel of Seijou”

THE WHAT NOW

IWAOIIII

Bokuaka is so fucking cute dear god.

Oh. It’s sinful now

Ushijima better stop throwing shade at my boi’s

“"I can't believe you all think that you can go against the crown and live!" Ushishima says silencing them all. The alpha was slowly emitting his pheromones wanting to show them all his superiority. No one said a word against him. "Toru! I didn't know you'll be as lowly to use your family name to gather us here!" The alpha seethed to the omega that could have been his wife. Iwazumi hackles raised and bared his lips at the beginning of a growl. "And you!" Ushijima turned to Bokuto full on emitting his pheromones making the rest of the alpha's shoulder hackle cautiously and Oikawa to cling at Iwazumi. But Bokuto meet Ushijima calmly, unfazed by the bloodlust while Akaashi was frozen to his spot but didn't show any emotion.”

So what we get out of this paragraph is

1) Bitchy Ushi. I love Ushijima don’t get me wrong he’s precious but like. This fic Ushijima? Son of a bitch walking up in here like “Toru! How dare you be so lowly—“ and fucking trying to dominate everyone.

2) Protective Iwaizumi. Protect the precious Seijou Jewel. Do it, fight for him, protect him he’s scared.

3) Is Ushijima salty because Oikawa didn’t choose him? Oh god, he is isn’t he.

4) Akaashi’s go to emotion isn’t emotion.

5) Shits about to go down, Bokuto is gonna flip eventually, if Ushi threatens anyone—it’d probably be Oikawa or Akaashi seeing as they’re omega’s—I can see Bokuto and Iwaizumi just flipping their shit.

God I’m way to invested. Why did I read this

USHIJIMA IS A COWARDLY LITTLE BITCH IN THIS FIC, STAB HIM HINATA

D O I T

Awww Kageyama cares, Tsukki cares

OH MY GOD TENDOU!

More people came surrounding them. "What the hell," Akaashi recognized Iwazumi's voice.

Iwaizumi’s reaction is the only respectable reaction.

Wait this has major character death in the tags

Fuck

Everyone has decided that Oikawa and Akaashi must be defended but just once I want them to flip their shit and kill someone. Just once.

Bokuto, Lev and Iwaizumi all want to protect Oikawa but Iwaizumi doesn’t even fucking trust em.

Why does everyone act like Nishinoya not wanting to move on so quickly is a bad thing? It’s perfectly reasonable and I hate how everyone is like “What’s wrong with you, do you not like us?” And getting super standoffish or snappish simply because Nishinoya loves Asahi so much and doesn’t want to feel like they didn’t need him.

I really don’t like how Nishinoya/Tanaka/Ennoshita became a thing in this fic. It would be cute if it didn’t just happen because Nishinoya was desperate and if he wasn’t he wouldn’t have fucked Tanaka.

Oh dear god I don’t want Kenma to die.

Oh thank god it’s okay.

Fuck I forgot they had boobs

Did Bokuto almost name the Kuroken baby Oya but changed last minute?

BO ISN’T COMING BACK IS HE?????????

I’m feelin a little sniffly. I might fucking cry over an Omegaverse fic. Oh how the mighty have fallen

Oh my god the stars. I don’t think Bo is coming back y’all. I’m so nervous

The fuckin royals aren’t getting Keiji. No. Nuh-uh FUCK THAT SHIT

THAT’S BOKUTO’S MATE STAY AWAY FROM HIM

-cue mac worrying about oikawa because seijou is allied with fukurodani and an easy way to tear seijou away from the alliance is to kidnap oikawa and iwaizumi might split to keep him safe and ushi fucking knows this and possibly tendou also oiks is pretty as fuck-

BOKUTO IS OKAY!

Iwaizumi making Bokuto promise to save Oikawa if things went to shit makes me so worried but the same time his lil speech made my IwaOi heart so happy.

Suga bby...

BOKUTO JUST KILLED A FUCKING CHILD

Tendou, Ushijima I never thought I’d say this but I fucking hate them right now. They better not hurt the other best Boi’s.

Ushijima is salty as fuck confirmed.

"You truly are a piece of art," Ushijima said gently ...."But not as beautiful as him," the alpha muttered as he threw the omega to the floor.

So, this little snippet sent disgusting shivers down my spine for two reasons.

1) Ushijima just yeeted Akaashi, my son and

2) Any reader knows who the ‘he’ Ushi is talking about is, the only person in this book who is said to be as beautiful as Akaashi. You guessed it, the boi who rejected Ushi-fucking-jima, Jewel of Seijou himself Oikawa Tooru.

The thing that grosses me out the most about this paragraph just on its own is that Ushijima is either guessing about what Oikawa looks like, or he actually knows which overall just gives me the heebie jeebies because Oikawa definitely didn’t want that. What makes my skin crawl in this little snippet is what Ushijima would do when if he got his angry little hands on Oikawa—or Iwaizumi, but Iwa would probably be killed or used as a bargaining chip.

Hmmmmm, I’m pretty sure Ushi is in love with Tendou but the beauty statement still stands possibly???? Unless specified otherwise, because Akaashi and Oikawa are canonically considered the most beautiful people in the fic.

Also this entire chapter just makes me feel so gross, fuck Ushijima man. Fuck him.

My Ushijima loving heart hurts reading this fic.

I just want Akaashi and Oikawa to straight up kill someone. Please, anyone who I don’t care about

I FUCKING SEE THE MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH WARNING AND I DON’T LIKE IT

FUCK

FUCK

FUCK

NOT BOKUTO

WAIT IS HE ALIVE

I WANNA SEE MY LITTLE BOY

HERE HE COMES

I WANT TO SEE MY LITTLE BOY

"I came right on time," Bokuto forced out his voice cracking with emotion. "Now I can engulf you in my arms and brighten your days despite the absence of the sun. You will no longer have to endure the cold winters alone. I'll be with you, I be there for you and our child," The alpha vowed his hands itching in need.

"Are you going to leave us again?" Akaashi needed to know. The omega already knew that he wouldn't be able to survive being apart from the alpha. He knew that he wouldn't win the battle with the overwhelming loneliness.

"The seas could dry up, the mountains could turn to pebbles, the trees could die and the whole world could be on fire and I still won't leave your side."

That was all Akashi needed to hear as he leaped into his alphas arm and let go of all the pain he has held in

I’m not crying I swear

They walked together side by side and Akaashi finally faced them. They were both beaten, bloody, and torn butinstead of feeling satisfaction he felt remorse. They both looked at him with soft, wide eyes, and he realized that this was the moment they were waiting for. They wanted to see the child that they both desperately wanted and Akaashi decided to give them a parting gift.

Akaashi had won, he had won from the very beginning and he held his trophy who was a small babe with golden orbs, with mutant white and black hair. He hadn't lied to Tendou when he had said that the baby looked exactly like his father.

OH MY FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOD I’M SOBBING DON’T TOUCH ME

Meta and Review

So I just read A/B/O for the first time and I knew absolutely nothing about the entire trope that Mpreg existed and to stay the hell away from it. Please remember this in the meta and tell me if there way of dividing characters is ever specified or if it’s just decided by top-bottom dynamics.

Wow.

The story was pretty good outside of what I’m about to talk about. I liked the ships and most of the buildup, the worldbuilding seems solid, the war and UshiTens situation was really interesting to me and it made Ushi and Tendou a bit morally gray and could’ve talked about how people could do bad things for what they thought were the right reason and everything was clean cut.

Overall? Eh. Could’ve been done better

Not onto the rest

This doesn’t seem as toxic or inherently bad as most fics I’ve seen, I didn’t really like how Omega’s are always inherently feminine—the dresses, jewels, how they’re seen as inherently weaker and sometimes helpless, how they’re always referred to as “my lady”—and aren’t really given another choice because they might have the ability to reproduce in A/B/O but they aren’t women. It’s okay if a man is really feminine but for all of them to be? It rubbed my the wrong way.

I wish that the power structure was handled different in A/B/O in general. Omega’s seem to be treated like they’re helpless and I just...don’t like it? Omega’s might be submissive but that doesn’t make them physically weaker and if it did, I would’ve thought they would have picked up some other useful skills like diplomacy or strategy.

As usually, my example of how a character could’ve been handled better is Oikawa.

He’s my favorite character and I adored him but he just didn’t really deliver. It felt like he was being treated like a kid throughout this entire fic, it didn’t seem like he was doing anything during the war. Even if Omega’s don’t have a lot of physically prowess and abilities, what happened to Oikawa’s strategic and analytical nature? Why was it never mentioned in any of Bokuto’s POV sections because out all the leaders of the Allied Kingdoms, Oikawa is the best strategist—Kuroo is the exception, not the rule and I thought they should’ve been working together because smort boys—but he was simply hidden away.

Now I have no problems with all the protective IwaOi scenes when they’re in immediate danger—it makes perfect sense if Omega’s are physically weaker but have other usable talents that are taken seriously—and Oikawa simply can’t talk his way out of said problem.

I do however, have a problem with cowering Oikawa. That feels so OOC at the beginning of the first scene I cited, where is all of the quick wit and worthless pride from the show? Now, it makes sense for Oikawa to start getting scared and simply slip behind Iwaizumi once Ushijima tries to dominate everyone and all the Alphas start freaking out if Oikawa is at an actual, physical disadvantage—I feel like the alpha’s their have similar frames, or at least most of them do. Bokuto, Ushijima, Kuroo and Iwaizumi are jacked and beefy, everyone but Iwa is relatively tall too. Now, Oikawa’s tall too but he’s much thinner and leaner. I’d be scared too if everyone could break me like a twig if it came down to it—but no ??? Apparently at the first sign of any conflict he just gets scared??? He doesn’t know what’s going on in his own fucking kingdom ???

This is not Oikawa.

I didn’t like how they treated most of the Omega’s actually, it felt like they were just reverted to helpless damsels in distress. What happened to Kenma’s observation skills? Nishinoya’s everything?

More importantly, what decides Alpha’s and Omega’s? Is it up in the air like gender is? What are Beta’s then? It can’t just be who’s top and who’s bottom, that would mean the alpha-beta-omega- status wouldn’t be decided until you had a mate

From what I’ve seen in the fic, it goes by ship dynamics but what if the characters who had more strategic, cunning, observant traits and weren’t as buff and muscly would be Omega’s and had the brain power while characters who relied more on physical prowess would be Alpha’s and dominant in a purely physical way sometimes while characters who were an odd combination of the two would be Beta’s.

Going by my logic, instead of the top being the alpha and the bottom just being an omega without any personality it would be...

Bokuto- Alpha, like he was in the story. He’s definitely more physically inclined then Akaashi.

Akaashi: Omega, same as in the fic. Not to say he isn’t athletic but he relies more on his mind.

Iwaizumi- Alpha, like in the fic but from a purely physical standpoint and because he can rein Oikawa in when his friend starts going nuts.

Oikawa - Beta, he’s quite powerful but he’s also manipulative, strategic and his mind is scary as fuck.

Kuroo- Beta, he relies on his physical prowess and dorkily perfect brain a lot so he’s also a mixture of both.

Kenma- Omega, physically he’s a twig but his mind is what makes him the brain of Nekoma

Hinata- Alpha, he doesn’t use his brain a lot and has a lot of physical power

Kageyama - Beta, he’s pretty smart when it comes to volleyball and he’s also physically strong

Suga - Omega, he’s quite clever and his brain power out ways his physical prowess by a landslide

Daichi- Beta, he firms strategies and relies on his brain, plus his killer thighs

Tsukishima - Beta, he has his hue fur and athleticism but his brain power is also strong as fuck

Yamaguchi - Beta, he seems to be really people smart and eventually his serves are pretty good.

Can Betas get into a relationship with other Betas? I don’t know or care, we stan Alpha-Alpha, Beta-Beta and Omega-Omega ships here

I DON’T KNOW IF THIS IS HOW IT WORKS THO

do I have to read more

[writinggeisha]

LazyGeisha's Note: I'm putting the text under the "read more" due to explicit words being used. If this post becomes a problem, I'll stick it all up on Google docs and post a link.

**Updated in 2017**

My name is Quinn Anderson, and I've been writing smut for over ten years now. I'm also a published author. I've written the Murmur Inc. series and several other LGBT+ erotic novels, which you can find in the references section, and I've been an active member of fandom since childhood. Now that my entirely unimpressive credentials are out of the way, let's get to the point.

·                     A friend of mine recently told me that she has difficulty writing smut, because she feels like she's being repetitive or boring or that she just can't create the right mood. To help her, I agreed to put together what I consider to be the building blocks of writing erotic fiction, both heterosexual and homosexual. This is a comprehensive list that she (and now all of you) can consult when you're writing if you can't think of a word/feel like you've said the same thing over and over/just want to get some fresh ideas.

·                     This article is free for everyone to consult, and there's absolutely no need to credit me if you use something from this list. Most everything on here is fairly common, and an experienced smut writer will likely recognise everything here. I've attempted to categorise it neatly for easy reference, and some things are mentioned in more than one section because they are equally applicable. I also have a tendency to switch tenses/perspectives, depending on the wording, so hopefully that won't annoy the dickens out of most of you. If you think of something I missed and want me to add it to the list, please don't hesitate to leave a comment.

·                     Disclaimer: I am no way trying to give the impression that I know everything there is to know about writing smut. Literotica is an ever-evolving beast, and I just want to help my fellow writers. I give some general advice at the end that you're absolutely free to ignore. I'm not trying to suggest that anyone who does the things I warn against is a bad writer, nor am I attempting to criticise anyone (except perhaps E.L. James. We'll get to that). If I at any point give that impression, please let me know, and I'll change my wording. However, please keep in mind that this is a FREE resource intended to help others, and I'm under no obligation to anyone but myself.

All further notes/comment from me will either be in parenthesis or marked with an *.

Table of Contents

(to reach any section, use the control and f keys, then search for the heading)

i. Introduction

ii. Reaction Words

iii. Adverbs

iv. Sexy Alternatives to "Said"

v. Generally Sexy Actions

vi. Kissing

vii. Blow Jobs

viii. Cunnilingus

ix. Penetrative Intercourse

x. First Times and Losing Virginities

xi. The Orgasm (.:chorus of angels:.)

xii. Generally Acceptable Slang Terms

xiii. Feelings When Aroused

xiv. Sexy Words

xv. Things that Sound Good Until You Imagine Someone Actually Doing Them

xvi. Some Dos and Don'ts of Smut Writing

xvii. References

i. Introduction

If you read/write fan fiction for long enough, certain ideas, tropes, and terms will get ingrained in you. For instance, in nearly every fic I've ever read, when characters kiss, one of them gasps, and the other "uses the opportunity to slip their tongue into their mouth" or some nigh-identical variation. Also, in nearly every porn fic, when one character orgasms, the "feel of their muscles clenching/pulsing" pushes the other character "over the edge." Sound familiar? We've all done it. We've all written it. Hell, I'm guilty of half the things on my Don'ts list, and I'm comfortable with that. Does the ubiquity of certain fan-fictiony phrases make them bad? Not at all. Should we all be trying to find new ways of saying the same ideas? Maybe. Maybe not. I like to think that these classics are simply one of the steps we all use to convey certain ideas in a way we know everyone will understand. I'm not attempting to denounce creativity, and certainly it's always a good idea to introduce new ideas, but we all need to start somewhere. That's the true purpose of this smut-writing guide.

When my debut novel was published, I had a lot of fan fiction habits violently beaten out of me. I had to remove about a dozen adjectives for "eyes" that bordered on absurd but seemed like a marvellous idea at the time, and I was forbidden on pain of death to ever use the phrase "ministrations" again. I also unwittingly changed my main character's name from "Nik" to "Nick" halfway through the novel. That, however, was not the worst of it. Let me tell you that there is nothing more embarrassing than going through your raw manuscript, reaching a sex scene and seeing that the editors ripped the ever-loving piss out of it. Having the anatomical impossibilities of your seemingly mind-blowing smut pointed out is enough to make even the most hardened of hard-core-porn writers cringe. It's even worse when you misspell the word "public" in a truly unfortunate way (hint: I forgot a letter), and it leads the editor to say, "This made me laugh so hard, my cat got up and sprinted out the room in a panic." I'm not here to do that to you. I'm here to try and keep someone else from doing it to you to the very best of my ability. Enjoy, and may the smut be with you.

ii. Reaction Words

·                     Shivers

·                     Shudders

·                     Trembles

·                     Quivers

·                     Quakes

·                     Shakes

·                     Gasps

·                     Moans

·                     Groans

·                     Jolts

·                     Jerks

·                     Lurches

·                     Startles

·                     Pants

·                     Huffs

·                     Gulps

·                     Cries out

·                     Melts

·                     Bites back a moan

·                     Breath hitches

·                     Babbling/sputtering

·                     Collapsing

·                     Knees buckling

·                     Swallowing hard

·                     Going limp

·                     See stars

·                     Makes a strangled noise

·                     Inhales (combine with an adverb i.e "he inhaled sharply")

·                     Exhales

·                     Skin prickles

·                     Brain short-circuits or stops functioning

·                     Sweating (there's loads to be done with sweat: the musky smell of it, tasting the saltiness of it, seeing a lover coated in a thin sheen of it, having it slick their bodies, etc.)

·                     Flushing (Flushing tends to happen in fleshy and sensitive areas. Armpits, cheeks, neck, ears, chest, genitals, and whole-body flushes for maximum effect)

·                     Eyes roll back

·                     Clenches

·                     Is stunned

·                     Gagging for it

·                     Dizzy for it

·                     Arch back/hips

·                     iii. Adverbs - Use these with prudence. An abundance of adverbs in a text can weaken your writing.

·                     Shakily

·                     Heatedly

·                     Desperately

·                     Incoherently

·                     Roughly

·                     Raggedly

·                     Headily

·                     Readily

·                     In a Needy way

·                     Deeply

·                     Breathily

·                     Noisily

·                     Loudly

·                     Heavily

·                     Dangerously

·                     Seductively

·                     Languidly

·                     Lazily

·                     Sensually

·                     Silkily

·                     Oily

·                     Hungrily

·                     Sinfully

·                     Darkly

·                     Warmly

·                     Softly

·                     Gently

·                     Tenderly

·                     Harshly

·                     Lusciously

·                     Quickly

·                     Slowly

·                     Frantically

·                     Wantonly

·                     iv. Sexy Alternatives to "Said"

·                     Purred

·                     Cooed

·                     Murmured

·                     Whispered

·                     Stuttered

·                     Breathed

·                     Rasped

·                     Cried out

·                     Begged

·                     Muttered (I'm not a fan of this one because I associate muttering with being angry, but I see it often enough)

·                     Growled

·                     Grunted

·                     Husked

·                     Howled

·                     Keened

·                     Mewled

·                     Choked

·                     Sobbed (dub-con warnings; use with caution)

·                     Whimpered

·                     Blurted

·                     Bleated (I like to use this for comedic effect)

·                     Teased

·                     Pleaded

·                     v. Generally Sexy Actions

·                     Sinking to their knees

·                     Licking

·                     Biting

·                     Nipping

·                     Pressing foreheads together

·                     Shoving a hand between someone's legs

·                     Shoving your hips together

·                     Pinning their wrists

·                     Caress

·                     Wink

·                     Wet/lick lips

·                     Hike a skirt up/ruck a shirt up

·                     Stroke (skin, hair, genitals, etc.)

·                     (when one character is pressed against a wall) A does something, and B slams/throws their head back into the wall in reaction.

·                     Undoing buttons/zips with their teeth (I suggest only having experienced lovers do this. It's remarkably difficult and you run the risk of getting your lip caught in a zip. It's not something to have a virgin get right on their first time in fiction if you want to be believable).

·                     Splay hands across someone's chest or lower back

·                     Rake nails across skin/through hair

·                     Hooking a leg around someone's waist

·                     Knee between thighs

·                     Biting collarbones/hip bones/ribs (the bones that tend to protrude beneath the skin and draw it taut)

·                     Sucking neck skin into the mouth

·                     Cupping their cheeks

·                     Grasping their chin and tilting it up/down

·                     Placing a finger against their lips

·                     Letting breath tickle their ears

·                     Digging your nails in

·                     Dipping your tongue into collarbone/bellybutton/ears/etc.

·                     Tugging on earlobes with teeth

·                     Push their hair back/card through it/rake through it

·                     Hair pulling

·                     Lips brushing ears

·                     Ghosting over their neck with fingers/lips

·                     Running fingers lightly over someone's palm or wrist

·                     Hip grinding/rutting/thrusting/rolling/shifting/rockin g together

·                     Dirty Talk (this can be anything from a simple "Oh, God, yes" to a full-on "I want to feel your name burning on my skin for days*." I suggest loads of cursing and using the lord's name in vain. "Oh fuck, oh, Jesus, fuck yes, there, just like that, fucking Christ" is a good start.)

·                     Nipple play (Use caution depending on gender. Some men love it, some hate it, the majority of women love it)

·                     Nuzzle

·                     Tease/torture/torment

·                     *Credit for that line to a Sherlock/Moriarty fic called "Crescendo" by PlainJaneDoe. It's amazing and a prime example of dirty talk. 10/10 Highly recommend. It's listed in the References section.

·                     vi. Kissing

·                     Lip play – biting, running your tongue over the lips, over where they meet, just inside of them, tracing their outline with the tip of the tongue

·                     Massaging the tongues together

·                     Rolling them over each other

·                     Imitating sex/fucking the person's mouth with your tongue

·                     Brushing lips together

·                     Pausing when lips are just barely touching and breathing each other's air (can cause dizziness akin to sexual arousal)

·                     Sucking their bottom lip into your mouth

·                     Bruising/crushing/kissing hard

·                     Teeth clicking

·                     Sucking on the tongue

·                     Swirling your tongue around theirs

·                     Flicking your tongue (also for oral sex)

·                     vii. Blow Jobs

·                     Reddened lips

·                     Swollen lips

·                     Slick

·                     Sloppy

·                     Lips darkened and wet with saliva

·                     Making eye contact

·                     Hollowing cheeks

·                     Swirling tongue

·                     Gently, gently biting or scraping teeth (quickest way to make a man cringe is to mention biting his thing, so please exercise with caution)

·                     Dipping tongue into the slit

·                     Fucking someone's mouth (for the receiver of oral)

·                     Deep throating (for experienced lovers, usually)

·                     Playing with balls

·                     Rubbing the perineum* or frenulum**

·                     Swallowing around it

·                     Engulfed in wet heat

·                     Pulling the foreskin back to expose the head

·                     Using hands and lips together

·                     Suction

·                     Pressure

·                     * The perineum is an erogenous zone for both males and females. In males it's the stretch of skin between the balls and the anus, which is receptive to massage. In females, it's the area between the vulva and the anus.

·                     ** The frenulum is a band of tissue under the penis that connects to the foreskin, which some men find sensitive.

·                     And then just for general knowledge, the glans is the head of the penis, or head.

·                     viii. Cunilingus (Female Oral Sex)

·                     Lapping

·                     Playing with the woman's wetness/juices

·                     Fingering (make note of finger nail length. Long fingernails need to be careful)

·                     Parting the lips

·                     Flicking your tongue

·                     Flower comparisons (these are an old cliché, but you can refresh it a bit if you avoid the usual)

·                     Fleshy pink (red and occasionally purple are also acceptable colour comparisons)

·                     Delving the tongue in

·                     Playing with the inner thing

·                     Using synonyms for the clitoris should be done with caution. Some like "button" and "nub" are commonly accepted, but if you say "pleasure button" or "Southern nipple", you may get some sniggers.

·                     ix. Intercourse (Anal* and Vaginal**)

·                     Sinking into someone/down onto a cock

·                     Riding – descriptions of bouncing breasts for females, working thigh muscles for both, watching the man's cock disappear into their body

·                     Pulling hips down harder

·                     Digging fingers into their shoulders/chest/hips/back

·                     Setting a pace/rhythm – losing that rhythm as climax approaches

·                     Getting seated

·                     Buried in a person

·                     Snapping/slamming/pounding hips

* There's a LOT of debate about the "proper" amount of preparation needed before anal sex. Some people insist you can just go for it, while others (myself included), think those people are ruining anal sex for everyone else. I've had loads of female-identifying friends of mine say they tried anal once and hated it and will never do it again. This is almost the result of people who don't know what the hell they're doing. IF YOU'RE READING THIS, STOP IT. STOP PUTTING DICKS AND SEX TOYS IN THINGS WITHOUT LEARNING TO DO IT PROPERLY. DO A DAMN GOOGLE SEARCH ON HOW TO PREPARE FOR ANAL.

I could write a whole article on this alone, but for the sake of brevity, I'll break it down: before anal, 1) you need to clean out your ass, 2) you need to use lube, and 3) some people say you need to get your ass used to taking penis-sized objects. Personally, I think fingering/rimming will do just fine, but literally everyone has a different opinion on this. On a personal note, I think writing preparation (lubing up, fingering, etc.) can be really hot. I'm not sure why people shy away from them, thinking that it "kills the mood." Just deciding who does the preparing can be hot. Does Person A prepare Person B for hours, until they're begging for it? Or just until they can take it without being hurt because they're so desperate to fuck? Or does Person B insist on preparing themselves, letting Person A sit back and watch them finger themselves? There are all sorts of sexy possibilities.

Also, let's talk about appropriate lube. I have read some absolutely horrific fics where people used inappropriate, unsanitary things as lube. Butter is not lube. Soy Sauce is not lube. Candle Wax is not lube. No, I am not kidding when I say I have actually seen these things in fic. Please don't do that to the characters. Some of us love them deeply.

** It's important to note that both the G-spot and the clit are involved in female orgasm (and are tied to one another. Stimulating the G-spot stimulates the clit), so a number of women like to stimulate their clit while having penetrative sex to facilitate an easier climax. You can add this for a bit of extra realism—or just for the sexiness of it (Blythe, M. J., Rosenthal, S. L., & American Academy of Pediatrics, 2007, pp. 1335-1337).

It is also important to decide if you are going to mention safe sex practices in your fic (you should do this for oral sex as well, since you're just as likely to get STIs from oral sex as penetrative, though you can't get pregnant). I'm personally in favour of mentioning getting checked for STIs and using condoms in fic. I think it's important to mention these things so people start thinking about them/recognising the issues of unplanned pregnancy and disease. However, the counterargument is that this is fantasy, and obviously fictional characters can't get pregnant or diseased without the author writing it. It's up to you, but in the interest of realism, I highly suggest you at least have the characters have a conversation about why they're not using condoms, such as "Here's my bloodwork. I'm STI free. By the way, I'm on the pill." Not that flippant, obviously, but hopefully you get what I mean.

x. Writing First Times and Losing Virginities

First Times can be a mixed bag. Sometimes they're pure, animalistic, I-must-throw-you-down-and-fuck-you-right-now humping sessions, and other times they're slow, tender bouts of lovemaking between two characters who have been building up to this moment for 356 pages. Either way, they can go horribly awry. It will be more realistic if the characters fumble a bit or spend time learning each other's bodies. No one is magically endowed with a perfect knowledge of their partner's sexual likes and dislikes, so let your characters experiment. Have fun with it. Whether you go for the hard fuck or the candlelit seduction, a first time should have a sense of reverence, if not in canon than in your writing. Draw it out. Don't be shy with the foreplay. Have someone come too early and then spend their refractory period ruthlessly pleasuring the other until they're ready for round two. You really can't go wrong.

For vaginal sex, if the woman is a virgin, please refrain from pulling a Fifty Shades of Grey and expecting there to be anything as ridiculous as a "weird, pinching sensation deep inside [you]", and it is not possible for someone to "rip through [your] virginity" (James, 2011, p. 101). Also, for the love of God, if you ever make your characters feel anything of the sort, do not have them shout "Argh!" as it happens. I've never face-palmed so hard in my life. Losing your virginity can hurt, yes, and there can be blood and the breaking of the hymen, but if you are properly lubricated and take your time, there is no reason for these things to occur (Brion-Meisels, S., Lowenheim, G., Rendeiro, B., 1982, p. 157).

- For anal sex, if you think a character can take a 12-inch cock with minimal preparation on the first go and experience nothing but soul-sizzling pleasure, you are mistaken. See "Intercourse."

·                     xi. The Orgasm

·                     The Earth stops spinning/stutters on its axis

·                     Dissolve into pleasure

·                     Lightning

·                     Electricity

·                     Waves (overdone, but you can jazz this one up if you try – i.e. waves of fire instead of the usual)

·                     Explosions

·                     Shockwaves

·                     Rippling

·                     Trails of fire

·                     Fire pooling low in their abdomen

·                     A spring coiling tightly and then being release

·                     Fireworks (please only use this sparingly. It's the oldest term for kissing/pleasure/etc. in history)

·                     Light – white light in particular, or everything cutting to white noise

·                     Vision fading to black

·                     Static

·                     Shattering

·                     Splintering

·                     Pulsing (also feeling someone pulse whilst inside them)

·                     Time slows

·                     Falling

·                     Flying

·                     Rocketing

·                     Going still/tense

·                     Jerking

·                     Vocalisation in any form

·                     Moaning a mixture of curse words and their lover's name

·                     xii. Generally Acceptable Slang Terms*

·                     Clit

·                     G-spot

·                     Cock

·                     Dick

·                     Prick and Fanny for the Anglophiles (penis and vagina)

·                     Slit (male and female)

·                     Entrance

·                     If you want to channel your inner porn star you can say cunt, pussy and hole.

Cum or come (I have seen ragging debates about which one of these should be used, but really it's either)

* There are some slang terms that are generally accepted but should be used with a grain of salt. These usually have to do with genitalia, like saying shaft, rod, manhood etc. for penis and mound, core, cave, tunnel etc. for vagina. It's sort of an odd line, because using clinical terms like penis in fiction can be just as jarring as using vague terms like cavern for vagina. It took me until I was 19 to finally say the word "cock" in fan fiction, and I still sometimes default to the softer "erection." Go with what you're comfortable with, but keep your audience in mind. This also applies for things like semen and vaginal lubrication. There's no need to use creative terms for those things. I've seen the term "spunk trumpet" used, and I may never recover.

·                     xiii. Feelings when Aroused

·                     Feeling hazy

·                     Drunk

·                     Intoxicated

·                     Heady

·                     Fuzzy

·                     Dizzy

·                     Dazed

·                     Breathless

·                     Heart pounding/racing/stuttering/skipping

·                     Blood buzzing/roaring in ears

·                     Hot (and all obvious synonyms – warm, burning, smouldering, scorching, blazing etc. These are particularly good for describing eyes. i.e. "The moment their gaze met, her eyes blazed")

·                     Shaky

·                     Overwhelmed (a bit dub-con, so use with caution)

·                     Light

·                     Light-headed

·                     Fumbling

·                     Drowning in pleasure

·                     Burst

·                     Combust

·                     Sizzling

·                     Sparking

·                     Crackling

·                     Fiery

·                     Teeming

·                     Searing

·                     Passion

·                     Ecstasy

·                     Bliss

·                     Pleasure

·                     xiv. Sexy Words

·                     Dark

·                     Sinful

·                     Carnal

·                     Lithe

·                     Lissom

·                     Supine

·                     Wanton

·                     Animalistic

·                     Unadulterated

·                     Undulate

·                     Lust

·                     Want

·                     Need

·                     Velvet/Satin/Lace/Silk

·                     Hunger

·                     Burn

·                     Wet noises/slick/liquid/squelch

·                     Frenzy

·                     Frantic

·                     Frenetic

·                     Desire

·                     Heat

·                     Arousal

·                     Adrenaline

·                     Clenched

·                     Intensity/intense

·                     Intoxicate

·                     Flutter

·                     Strip

·                     Sluice

·                     Tease

·                     Spark

·                     Ignite

·                     Ride

·                     Friction

·                     Frisson

·                     Flicked

·                     Sinuous/sinewy/willowy

·                     Lilting

·                     Sonorous

·                     Rumbling

·                     Sweet

·                     Slide

·                     Frustration

·                     Squeeze

·                     Press

·                     Torturous

·                     Massage

·                     Pressure

·                     Tightening

·                     Possessive

·                     Raucous

·                     Cacophonic

·                     Harmony

·                     Taut

·                     Tension

xv. Things that Sound Good Until You Imagine Someone Actually Doing Them

- Shaking their head to clear their thoughts. Think of a wet dog drying itself off. That is what this would look like.

- Rolling their eyes back into their head. All I think of is The Exorcist.

- Having their mouth pop open in surprise. Unless something really, really surprising has just happened, this should not.

- Someone speaking in a way that their tongue seems to "caress your skin/name." This makes me again think of a dog slobbering all over someone, or else they're wearing a name tag and that person is literally licking it.

- Spending several minutes staring after someone who's left the room. Seconds, sure. Minutes? Um, no. I want you to go to any public place in the world and stare forward with a catatonic look on your face for several minutes. Count how long it takes for someone to ask you if you're all right, assuming that they don't just call for an ambulance to begin with.

- Rocking back and forth happily. Again, try doing this in public and see what happens (Parkins, 2012).

- Any and all entirely orchestrated moves, such as a character whipping their glasses off angrily or stroking their beard whilst thinking. No one actually does those things; we just see them in films and add them into our writing to convey outdated mannerisms.

xvi. Some Do's and Don'ts of Smut Writing

It's easy to get carried away when writing smut or to get self-conscious and end up writing something that sounds like your mum was looking over your shoulder the whole time. Remember to relax and just do what feels right. If the scene makes you feel hot, it'll probably do the same to your readers. But just in case, here are a few fan fiction pitfalls and tips.

Do describe how your characters are reacting/feeling in detail. There's a time and a place for quiet, controlled sex, and it's usually when your characters are in a public place and might get caught. Otherwise, feel free to have them grunting like beasts and throwing furniture about. Expressive sex is rarely viewed as a bad thing.

Don't be afraid to be realistic. Not all sex is magical, perfect, orgasmic sex where both characters are Porn Star-level Sex Gods who climax at precisely the same time. It can be messy, it can be sloppy, the friction can be too much, it can be painful and the characters can make embarrassing noises. A level of realism can actually make the sex hotter as opposed to spoiling the mood.

Do take that advice up there ^- with a grain of salt. Most people do like for their fantasy sex to be just that: a fantasy. You can use realism to advance the plot line (such as having two characters get walked in on when they didn't bother to lock the door), or you can use it for too much realism, like having someone accidentally burp while kissing their lover. Things like the latter example do happen in real life, and you're welcome to include them, but doing something like that in the middle of a sex scene for no reason can kill your audience's boner.

Don't feel the need to equate dirty talk with name calling or degradation. I read loads of fic when I was younger where characters would call each other sluts and whores when it wasn't a humiliation kink fic, and they were in a monogamous, loving relationship. Humiliation kinks are perfectly fine, but if you're not writing that sort of fic, you don't necessarily need to have one character call the other one a dirty slut just for the sake of doing it. "Oh yes, take my cock, you filthy whore" can be hot in the right circumstances, but if it's in the middle of 'regular' sex, it seems out of place. On a personal note, if a man or woman called me a filthy whore during non-roleplaying sex, I'd burn their clothes in my back garden and then turn them out. Sex is not something you should be made to feel ashamed of unnecessarily.

Do use metaphor (with caution). Comparing the sexual tension between two characters to a string drawn taut or crackling electricity is perfectly fine. Comparing someone's arsehole to the dark, unexplored stretches of an Amazon jungle is probably going to get you put on wtffanfiction. However, metaphor is one of the most honoured traditions of smut writing, from the crashing waves of the orgasm to the pert, pink buds of a fair maiden's nipples. Use it wisely and regularly.

Don't say that one of your character's voices jumped or dropped several octaves. That is a personal pet peeve of mine, and I see it in fiction all the time. The average human vocal range is one and a half octaves. A trained singer can reach two or three, and at four octaves, Freddie Mercury's voice was considered so exceptional, it's widely believed that very few people can properly sing his songs. Do not say your character's voice lowered several (i.e. three or more) octaves unless they went from a high soprano to a pitch only elephants can hear (Parkins, 2012, Kindle Location 393). This obviously does not apply to characters who aren't human. You're welcome to say their voice dropped an octave, however.

Do make sure that what you're writing is anatomically possible. For example, during gay intercourse where two males are face-to-face, the one who is receiving needs to have their hips at a relatively high angle because the arsehole is further back than a vaginal entrance. During straight sex, if a woman is twisting around to look at a man who's taking her from behind, don't have her go to such a degree that she should theoretically crack her spine. When writing things like this, imagine doing them yourself (or better yet, try to do them). If you can't manage it, chances are your characters can't either.

Don't use epithets if you can avoid it. Epithets are other ways of referring to someone, such as saying "the blonde" or "the shorter man". These are incredibly popular in fan fiction, but publishers will make you remove them (Trust me, my novel had 157 corrections of this sort alone). This can be quite difficult to avoid if you're writing male-on-male or female-on-female porn, since you can end up with a sentence like, "He pulled his hands above his head and drew his body up until he was a long, sinewy line" that leave you thinking, "Who the hell did what to who?" The trick here is to use their names and pronouns interchangeably, so you get, "Nik pulled Seth's hands above his head and drew his body up until it was a long, sinewy line."

Do get a trusted friend or beta to read over your work for you. There's no shame in using a beta; it's just like having an editor go over a manuscript. They'll tell you if you made any unfortunate typos (like mine. See "Introduction") or if something seems implausible. Be open to constructive criticism, though if anyone is unnecessarily or mean-spiritedly critical, send them my way, and I'll shove a virtual boot up their arse.

Don't use words without making sure you know what they mean. For example, loads of people are under the impression that "bemused" means "amused." It means "confused." Nonplussed" can mean surprised or not surprised at all, inflammable and flammable both mean easy to set on fire, nauseous means you're making everyone about you feel sick, droll does not mean dull—it means curious in a way that incites wry amusement, and "all right" is two words. Alright is not all right. Unique means literally one of a kind. Something cannot be "quite unique." It's either a golden flamingo or it's not (Clark, 2012, p. 3).

[hookedonapirate]

Wild at Heart (Chapter 4/?)

Read: Prologue Ch 1 Ch 2 Ch 3

Graphic Art credit to the lovely and wonderful @jell-obeans Thank you so much!

Summary: Born and raised by rich parents, Emma Nolan has always done what’s expected of her, from what clothes to wear to what school to attend, what career to pursue and even who to marry. After graduating from Harvard and going back home to Storybrooke, South Carolina, she agrees to marry Oz Walsh by the wishes of her parents. With a year of engagement behind her, she goes to Boston for business and has to fly back home to get to her wedding. What happens when she has a run-in at the airport with a dashing, blue-eyed thief who is apparently bound and determined to throw a wrench in all of her plans? Will she make it back to Storybrooke on time for her wedding or will she find her home along the way?

A/N: Ahhh! The first time I posted this chapter on the other fanfiction platforms, I forgot Emma’s last name is Nolan and I put Swan instead... many times. I have so many stories going it’s hard to keep track. I think I corrected them all but if I missed any don’t hesitate to let me know.

Rating: M

AO3 FFN

Emma pressed her forehead against the window, watching her breath fog up the small area of glass as her cheek rested on her fist. The clouds were dissipating and the sun was shining through the clear azure sky as she watched the distance between the yellow bug and the tall buildings of Boston grow wider and wider through the passenger mirror.

She wasn't sure what she did to deserve this. Sure, she's made some mistakes in her life, but she's also put up with everything and rarely ever complained about anything. She’d always seen the look on her parents’ faces when they were proud of her, it was just too damn difficult to disappoint them. So one could say that everything she's done was to see their proud, happy smiles. Everything she'd ever done was for her parents. Even now, she was not to trying to get to Walsh because she wanted to marry him. She was going back to him because she wanted to see her parents be blissfully happy watching their daughter walk down the aisle.

“It's too bloody quiet. What do say we listen to some tunes?” Killian’s voice pulled Emma from her thoughts, but as he asked her the question he was already turning on the radio and changing the station to heavy metal.

Emma frowned, turning her head to narrow her eyes at him. “How about we don't and say we did?”

“What's the problem, Nolan? Not a fan of music?”

“No, I'm not a fan of these people considering themselves musicians when all they do is scream into their microphones.”

Killian sighed and changed the station. “Maybe you just don't have good taste in music.”

“Yeah, what would I know about music?” She asked sarcastically, rolling her eyes. “I started playing the piano when I was four and by the time I was ten I could play the flute, cello and violin and won first place in various international competitions as well as playing piano at the Carnegie hall. And that was on top of the gymnastics, swimming and fencing classes I took. So you're right, what the hell do I know about having good taste in music?” Emma veered her eyes towards her window again, watching the trees pass by in a blur.

She could feel Killian's gaze on her and there was a brief pause before he spoke in an impressed tone. “Ah, well then I underestimated you, Nolan. But it's easy to accomplish those things when your parents can afford all of those classes and extracurricular activities. Most children are not as privileged.” He spoke the words as though he knew far too well what is was like to be underprivileged.

She shot her eyes at him, glaring at the bastard. Making her feel sorry for him after he kidnapped and blackmailed her was not going to work. “Money did not make me talented in those things. Dedication, focus and practice - a few things you obviously know nothing about.”

“So you think… well guess what princess, you know nothing about me,” he said quietly, offended. “I'll have you know, I'm skilled at many things and I didn't need classes or money to be good at them,” Killian almost snarled through his teeth as he turned the volume up on the radio. At least the music wasn't as bad. Classic rock was something she could bare to listen to.

Emma turned the music down so she could ask the question that had been blooming in her brain since he mentioned it. “So tell me, if money's not important to you, as you say it's not, then what do you need $500,000 for?”

Killian turned up the volume again and spoke louder. “It's none of your business.” He started whistling along with the music, obviously trying to avoid anything else she might be inclined to ask him.

Emma pouted, crossing her arms over her chest as he continued to sing. She had to admit he had a pleasant voice, he knew how to hold a tune at least. She sank back in her chair and closed her eyes, wishing for this trip to over as soon as possible.

Half an hour went by and she remained silent as he continued singing. She had attempted to fall asleep but had no such luck.

“You know, Nolan, for someone as musical as you claim to be, I would think you wouldn't be opposed to singing along to a good tune in the car.”

“Yeah, well I don't sing. And this is hardly what I would call a good tune,” she rebutted.

He shrugged and reached into the center console, pulling out a cassette tape.

Emma scoffed when he inserted it into the cassette player. “Who has tapes anymore? You do realize this is the twenty-first century right?”

“Aye, but as you can see this car doesn't have a CD player or other fancy way to play music.”

“Well, maybe when you get your money, you can invest in a better stereo system or better yet a decent car. That is if my father doesn't throw you in jail.”

“You mean Daddy?” He teased with a snarky smirk.

Emma scowled at him.

“Oh Daddy, please save me from this terrible man,” Killian mocked in a high-pitched tone.

Emma promptly reached over and punched his shoulder. “I do not sound like that!”

“Sorry, love, but you kind of do,” he said, chuckling as he removed one hand from the steering wheel and rubbed his shoulder. “Although I must say, you may sound like a five year old daddy's girl but you certainly don't hit like one.”

“You're just lucky it was your shoulder and not your face… or worse,” she spat as she eyed the spot she was referring to.

“Oi! Unless you're referring to more enjoyable activities, you can leave my jewels out of this.”

“Believe me, I'm not, so don't test me,” she threatened firmly.

They were silent after that, until a particular song started playing that caused Emma's ears to perk up and Killian rolled the windows down and started singing along as he rested his elbow on the door and tapped on the side of the roof with his hand, matching the beat of the music.

“I see a bad moon a-rising I see trouble on the way I see earthquakes and lightnin' I see bad times today.”

A small smirk threatened her lips but she’d be damned if she were to give into it.

“Come on, Nolan, sing along. You know you want to,” he encouraged, turning his head to smirk at her. “Don't tell me you're too sophisticated to sing in the car with the windows rolled down.”

Emma ignored him and looked out of her opened window.

“Fine. Suit yourself.” He continued singing, the music igniting memories of when she was a child and listening to her Walkman, this particular song playing when she was sick of the more “eloquent” music, as her mother would call it, that she spent two hours a day on the piano bench playing. The Walkman was a gift from her father that she was not allowed to tell Mary Margaret about. It was their little secret, he would say to her. And so she kept it hidden in her oak chest when she wasn't listening to it.

“I hear hurricanes a-blowing I know the end is coming soon.”

Killian glanced at her in surprise, a dark brow raised to the creases of his forehead. Even Emma was shocked that she still remembered the lyrics of the song. She instantly felt nervous, but she pushed down her nerves, a task she became very good at over the years and continued, her voice hitting an alto vocal range.

“I fear rivers over flowing I hear the voice of rage and ruin”

Feeling self-indulgent, enjoying the familiar tune, she started belting out the lyrics, even with Killian staring at her heavily before watching the road again.

“Don't go 'round tonight It's bound to take your life There's a bad moon on the rise.”

She got into it, even humming the guitar solo as Killian whistled along to it. Then he started singing along with her.

It felt rather freeing, singing and hanging her arm at the window, feeling the harsh wind on her skin. It was something she hadn't done since she was in college.

“One eye is taken for an eye Oh don't go 'round tonight It's bound to take your life There's a bad moon on the rise There's a bad moon on the rise”

The song ended and Emma had a smile on her face.

Killian flashed her a questioning look. “I thought you didn't sing?”

“I normally don't... but I used to listen to that song as a kid,” she explained. “My father bought me a Walkman was I was younger.”

“Do you still have it?” he asked curiously.

She shook her head. “No,” was all she said and then it grew silent again.

Killian drove for two hours before Emma begged him to go to a rest stop so she could use the restroom. Instead, he pulled into a gas station.

“Oh no, I'm not using the toilet here,” she stated firmly.

“And what's the bloody difference between going here and a rest stop?”

“They're much cleaner. They have janitors who clean the toilets. You think the minimum wage gas station attendant gives a shit about cleaning the toilet? I'm not using the nasty restroom.”

“Then I guess you're holding it in until we get to Maryland, which is three hours away.”

“Then I'll just pee on your seats.”

Killian shrugged nonchalantly. “If sitting in your own pee is what will make you feel better than by all means. I guarantee it's not the worst bodily fluid that's made contact with that seat.” He said, wiggling his eyebrows and flashing her a cocky grin.

Her face scrunched up in disgust. “Ugh.” She lifted her hand to the door handle and opened the door. “Fine. You're an asshole,” she huffed and started to get out.

“I've been called worse,” he called out behind her.

Emma slammed the door and marched into the gas station asking for a key to the ladies room when she realized it was locked Like it was a fucking privilege to use the shit-hole they called a restroom. The attendant handed it to her on a red wooden stick and she pulled out a tissue from her purse to take it. People looked at her strangely but she didn't care. If people took it in the restroom with them, who knew what it was contaminated with. She carried the key as though it would burn her. She went inside the restroom and covered the toilet seat in a mountain of toilet paper while holding her nose with her other hand. It was probably the most unpleasant experience she ever had while using the restroom... and she used to live in the dorms.

Making her way back to the car, she saw that Killian was not there. She looked behind her and saw him inside through the window, so she scurried over to the car and got in on the passenger side, turning around and reaching into his duffle bag from the back seat. She rummaged through it as quickly as she could, but to her dismay, there was no diary, just his clothes, underwear, a sketchpad and also some condoms and a pair of handcuffs. The damn bastard did have handcuffs! Grumbling to herself, she held them up, certain that they were not used for some weird, kinky sex fetish. “I'm not keeping you against your will my ass,” Emma cursed under her breath and she threw the handcuffs back into the bag.

“You know, if you wanted to get a peek at my underwear, all you had to was ask.”

She jerked at the sound of his voice and quickly closed the bag, turning around and sitting back in her seat. “In your dreams. I want my diary back,” she demanded in a haughty voice. “How do I know that once everything is all said and done, I'm not going to find out that you mailed it anyways?”

He tilted his head at her as he reached into his jacket and pulled out a pack of twinkles. “It's called trust. You should try it sometime.”

Emma eyed him suspiciously. “Did you steal that?”

He shrugged as he opened the wrapper, but before he could take one of the twinkies out, she snatched it from his hands. “Oi!”

“You stole this didn't you?”

“So what if I did? It's a dollar fifty.”

“Well, I'm not going to jail over a fucking twinkie.” Emma felt anger rise in her blood and opened the door, stepping out.

“Where are you going?”

“I'm going in to pay for it, what do you think?” she muttered as she started heading towards the station.

Killian quickly got out and ran around the car, catching up to her and taking the twinkies back. “Emma…”

Emma stopped and turned around, scolding him. “Why did you steal it?” she asked him as though he were a five year old child. “We could have easily paid for it.”

“Because that's what I do, Emma. If you haven't noticed, I don't live the glamorous life that you do. I haven't had everything handed to me by my parents, I had to fight for what little I have,” he muttered spitefully.

Emma's blood was running hot. “Everything my parents gave me, I worked hard for and I've never stolen a goddamn thing in my life, so don't pretend you know me!” she shouted angrily, very much annoyed at this point. “What else did you take? Let me guess, you stole this piece of shit too?” she asked, pointing to the car.

“Actually it was given to me by a friend and it holds a lot of fond memories, thank you very much.”

She scoffed. “Yeah I'm sure it does.”

Killian looked down, his eyes full of sorrow and sadness and Emma glanced at his arm as he held the twinkles in his hand, remembering the tattoo that was hidden underneath his jacket sleeve.

“It belonged to her, didn't it?” She asked softly. He looked up at her, confused and surprised. “Milah from your tattoo? I saw it when we met in the airport.”

He looked up at her, revealing a side that Emma hadn't seen of him before. He showed his vulnerability on full display, she could see it in his eyes. “She was my girlfriend… and she passed away along time ago. The car was her brother's and we were close friends. He gave it to me after she died.”

“I'm sorry,” she said sincerely, although it was no excuse for becoming a thief, but she had a feeling there was much more to the story. She stepped closer, attempting to offer a kind gesture because wasn't that what people did in situations like this? She reached her hand out, placing it gently on his arm, but he backed away, deflecting her attempts. “Tell me something, Emma… have you ever been in love?” he asked bitterly.

Emma shook her head. She knew there was no point in trying to lie. He had already seen the proof written in her diary. And she certainly didn't love the men she had casual encounters with at work. She merely used them as an escape from reality. “No, I've never been in love.”

“Then you couldn't possibly understand what it's like to lose someone you love.”

“Killian, I wasn't trying to... I was just-”

“I'm fine,” he said curtly, interrupting her. “I'll pay for the damn twinkles.” He turned around and marched inside before she could say anything.

Emma sighed, exasperated as she got in the car. When Killian joined her again, he tossed her a pack of twinkies as well, and she caught it instinctively, taken off guard by the gesture. “Happy now? I paid for the twinkies and even got you one too.”

“Thanks…” she murmured, eyeing it curiously.

He looked over at her knowingly. “What? You can't tell me you've never had a twinkie before, love?” he asked, his words much more kind than before.

She shook her head. It did look tempting but, looking at the nutrition information on the back of the wrapper, she could see that it was loaded with sugar, fat and preservatives.

“You can't look at that love. It's unhealthy, that's the whole point.”

She glanced over at him, confused. “And what, you intend on being old and fat with a huge twinkie gut when you're older?” she laughed at the image she implanted in her own head.

“No… I mean that twinkies are a guilty pleasure. You know it's bad for you but you do it anyways because it's like a small piece of heaven and too sinful and delicious to pass up.”

“Kind of like stealing?”

Guilt fell over his features as he gave a nod. “Aye, like stealing. There are consequences, but the high you get from doing something forbidden… there's nothing like it.”

Emma nodded understandingly. “Kind of like when I used to climb out of my bedroom window in the middle of the night, even though my parents told me it was bedtime and I wasn't allowed to leave the room. But I felt a sense of freedom and a rush of adrenaline pumping through my blood from the fear of getting caught,” she explained, a spark of nostalgia in her eyes from the memories.

Killian chuckled. “Aye, exactly.”

Emma was still unsure about the golden treat in her hand, but she took one out of the package anyway.

“Go ahead, try it love. You won't regret it.”

She brought it to her lips and tentatively opened her mouth, taking a bite of the creme-filled goodness. It was soft and sweet, melting in her mouth and she closed her eyes, enjoying the flavor and licking her lips.

“See? What did I tell you, Nolan?” he asked playfully. “It's delicious isn't it?”

She opened her eyes again, swallowing the bite of the twinkie in her mouth. “You're right, it's like a small piece of heaven. I've never had anything quite like it.”

Killian grinned widely in success. “See, it's not so bad giving into your sinful desires once and while, is it? I’ll have you converted soon enough.”

Emma rolled her eyes as she licked the sticky sweetness off of her fingers. “It's just a twinkie. Now, can we hit the road? I want to make it on time for my wedding.”

“As you wish.”

Killian drove another three hours, listening and singing along to music and chatting with her occasionally to pass the time before he was too sleepy to drive anymore.

They were now in Maryland, about halfway to Storybrooke.

“What do you say we get a motel for the night?”

“You could let me drive?” she suggested.

He shook his head. “Absolutely not. You already tried to find your diary once, I'm not letting you drive while I sleep.”

“What, you don't trust me?” she asked, throwing the use of his own word in his face with an innocent ring in her tone.

“Not when the only thing stopping you from fleeing is a bloody diary. I mean, if I were you I certainly wouldn't be here for any other reason, especially when my family is being threatened and tricked.”

“And tell me something, what happened to yours?”

“Wouldn't you like to know?” he muttered sarcastically.

“Perhaps I would,” she admitted earnestly.

“Another time. Right now we should both get some shut-eye.”

“Fine, but we’re going to a hotel.”

Killian didn't bother to argue with her and they drove to the nearest one, gathering their bags and heading inside. They went up to the desk asking for two rooms with king-size beds.

“I'm sorry, we only have one available for the night on such short notice and it only has one king-side bed.”

Emma sighed and Killian gave her a cocky smirk along with a suggestive wiggle of his eyebrows. “It looks like we’re sharing a bed, love.”

“No, it looks like you'll be sleeping on the floor,” Emma assured him with a sarcastic smile as she handed the desk clerk the money for the room. “We’ll take it.”

They went to their room, setting their bags down when they entered. Emma walked around the small room and the bathroom, making sure it was suitable. Even if it wasn't, she was certain Killian wouldn't move to a different hotel anyway, plus it was the middle of the night and they were lucky they even managed to get this one. Emma removed her jacket, not looking forward to her night there.

“I'm going to take a shower. Can I trust you won't go anywhere, love?”

She shrugged. “Would you trust you?”

“Fair point, Emma,” he said with a grin. “I'll just be taking these with me then, he said holding up the bag and jacket that contained all of his belongings along with her diary. He stepped into the bathroom and she huffed in frustration, crossing her arms as she plopped on the edge of the bed.

She waited until she heard the shower turn on before she went to the bathroom door, hoping to snag her diary while he was in the shower, but the door was locked. She became even more angry, and if she were being honest, it killed her not being able to contact her family. She knew they were worried sick.

Emma pursed her lips in thought, pondering a way to escape this predicament.

Killian emerged from the bathroom ten minutes later, one hand carrying his duffel bag and jacket and the other securing the towel he had wrapped around his hips.

Emma's breath hitched when she saw him, her eyes drinking in his half naked form. Beads of water were dripping down his body as he threw the bag down next to the bed and draped his jacket over the arm of a chair and she couldn't help but notice his muscular arms and sculpted chest, dark hair matted down as a thin trail of it lead her eyes over his taut abs and the v-shape below that pointed to the towel-covered area.

Her cheeks became warm with blush when she realized how long she had been staring.

“See something you like, Nolan?” he asked, but she could tell by the amusement in his expression that he already knew the answer to that.

Emma stood from the bed and sauntered over to him, a mischievous smirk gracing her lips. “What if I do?”

She could see the visible transformation in his features. His adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed, his eyes growing wide. with shock. “You know, I was just thinking about what you said before when you talked about it being okay to give into sinful desires once in awhile.” Emma spoke in a dark, seductive voice as she placed her hand on his chest, feeling his heart thumping widely underneath her touch.

“Is that so, love?” he asked curiously.

Emma's grin broadened, her eyes following her fingers as they danced along his skin, making their way to his waistline. “It is very much so.” She could hear the stutter in his breathing as she stepped closer, locking eyes with him. “Just think about it… what would my father do if he found out it his little girl was fucking the thief who held her for ransom?” Watching his pupils dilate as her eyes studied his face with a dark smile, she could tell his interest was highly piqued.

Killian licked his lips, his eyes falling to her mouth. “Once again I underestimated you, Nolan. You're a very naughty girl,” he managed, his voice shaky and deep. “And you deserve to be punished.”

Emma laughed roguishly and leaned in, brushing her lips across his ear as her hand curled around the end of the towel that was secured at his hip.“You have no idea how naughty I can be,” she whispered before loosening the towel, pulling it from his body. She could hear a small gasp escape his lips as she pulled away to take in the sight, his long, hard length on full display as she licked her lips. “But I think you're the one who needs to be punished.” Suddenly, she pushed him against the wall, smashing her lips into his and he made no protest as he sharply grabbed her hips and groaned into her mouth.

Her tongue eagerly found his and he tilted his head to deepen the kiss as his hands rose to cup her cheeks.

Emma slid her hand between them and slipped her fingers around his cock, earning a rough growl as she turned him around and backed him up toward the bed. She had to admit, he was a really good kisser and god, he felt good in her hand as she roughly stroked his dick.

She released him only to push him onto the bed and she climbed on top of him, her knees straddling his hips as she reclaimed his lips. The kiss became heated, every inch of her skin on fire as his tongue eagerly worked against hers swallowing the little moans she offered. His hands crawled under her shirt and she tore her lips from his, leaving them both panting as she sat up. She could feel his hard member against her core as she pulled off her shirt and tossed it to the floor. Killian reached for her breasts, his strong hands kneading them through the lace material of her black bra as she leaned down to kiss him again. She swallowed the guttural groan that he offered as she reached for his length again, taking him in her hand. His breathing was shattered as she bit his lip, softly nibbling and sucking as she pumped his cock, and it took everything in her to break the kiss. “Condom?” she asked, her words strangled through her heavy panting.

“Aye, it's in my bag,” he replied desperately. “Hurry love, or I might explode far too quickly.” She hurried off of the bed and bent down, reaching into his bag. She searched for the condoms and found them quickly before turning her head to look at him as she quietly grabbed the handcuffs.

Still catching his breath, his eyes were dark with desire as he looked over at her, eagerly awaiting.

Emma smirked and came back to him, keeping the cuffs behind her back as she held out the condom in her left hand. She straddled him and leaned down almost touching his lips with hers, her right hand moving to the side of the bed out of his line of vision. He reached for the condom, but she pulled it away and shook her head. “Ah ah, let me put that on for you,” she giggled, then kissed him breathlessly, slipping the condom between her fingers as she grabbed his right hand and held it above his head. She moaned into the kiss, keeping him distracted as her other hand rose up and reached above his head. With his right hand pinned to the headboard, Emma smoothly and quickly put one end of the handcuffs around his wrist and the other she clasped around the wooden bar before he even knew what was happening. She pulled away and got off of the bed as fast as she could and watched as his face fell in confusion. He pulled sharply on the cuff. “Nolan?”

With hurried movements, Emma put on her shirt before grabbing his jacket. His eyes widened, realizing her tactics. She reached into his jacket and pulled out his car keys and her diary, hearing him let out a heavy sigh. “Bloody hell… don't do this please… I'm begging you…” he pleaded angrily as he pulled harshly on the handcuffs, but she didn't stop her mission until she gathered her suitcase and reached the door, looking back at him.

“Sorry love, but it looks like the lawyer outsmarted the thief.” Emma flashed him a satisfied grin as she took in the view of the naked man handcuffed to the bed one last time before turning and opening the door. The maid would certainly get a show when she came in to clean the next morning. She heard a particularly hard bang of the metal handcuffs against the wood as she scurried out the door, hearing him shout after her.

“Nolaaaaaaan!”

Emma slammed the door shut and ran for the yellow bug, jumping in and and taking off so quickly, the tires shrieked against the pavement as she pulled out of the parking lot.

@rouhn @iejimi @kmomof4 @katie-dub @ijenny16 @lovepurplepumpkins@jennjenn615 @piratesbooty63fan @galadriel26 @ladyciaramiggles @andiirivera @queen-of-dancing-stars @galadriel26 @juliakaze @nfbagelperson @hey-it-is-jess @mcakers @kobe116 @phoenixsxul @winterbaby89 @allie-jimenez123-blog @lindseythompsonxoxo @ultraluckycatnd @its-about-bloody-time-cs @acaptainswaneternity @fleurreads @love-with-you-i-have-everything​

[artificialqueens]

Heal me, baby. (Biadore) Ch 1- Miri

AN: So this is the first fanfiction I’ve ever posted and I’m really nervous about the feedback, and if it’ll even get any feedback at all haha. Whether it’s good or bad, I’ll learn from it so hit me with it! The story is about Adore having a mental illness, PTSD from her last boyfriend, and maybe Bianca will help her get back on her feet again, help her feel again. I don’t know how often I’ll update it since I work and study but expect either twice a week (maybe more) if I’m not drowning, or once a week if I am.

English is NOT my native language, I’m Swedish/Palestinian so if any of the grammar’s off or something, putting that in the feedback will be great and also good for you guys, since y’all are reading it :’))) xxx

TW: mentioning about self-harm (only briefly, but I’m putting a warning just to be sure) TW: mentioning intimate partner violence. Nothing detailed, but again putting a warning just to be sure.

Adore took a minute in front of her locker to gather herself, to breathe and remember that she only had one more class before her day was finished. Today her class had a new teacher, they had driven their last teacher nuts and made her quit. Adore was kind of excited to see a new face in school, every day was just same old same old.

She took her history book and her notebook before closing her locker. When she turned around, Courtney was standing in front of her texting. ”Shall we…. Go…?”, she said sounding very distracted. Adore snapped her fingers to get Courtney’s attention and nodded. ”Hello, earth to Court. Yes we start in like a minute, we have to hurry.”. Courtney nodded and put the phone down before almost running to class.

They took their regular seats in the back of the classroom right behind Trixie and Katya. ”Well look at you today, Adore. Lookin’ fierce”, Katya said with a smile. Adore blew her a kiss before sitting down. ”If all of you could just shut up and not fuck this teacher up, I’d really appreciate it. Some of us are actually trying to learn stuff”, they heard Tatianna saying in the front. Courtney looked at Adore and did her best to try not to giggle. All their thoughts were interrupted by the door in the classroom slamming shut. In front of the door stood, what Adore assumed to be, their teacher. She wore high heels and a long dress that was cut so that you could see her legs, she wore stockings that made her legs look glowing and her gown was blue and simply to die for. Adore noticed her harsh make-up, with a very defined white line under her eyes and her bright red lips. She looked different from their class. Sure, they had Trixie, but Trixie was different. She was more surreal looking; their teacher was on the fine line of looking surreal and looking like a woman. The teacher walked to the front desk and dropped her books on the desk before looking at the class.

”My name is Bianca Del Rio, I’ll respond to Miss Del Rio only. It’s a matter of respect. If you respect me, I’ll respect you. I have patience but it’ll easily run out and I won’t be the one suffering, you will. Disturb the class, and you’re out. Same goes if you’re disturbing me but I’ll let you know before I throw ya ass out”, she said and took a breath. The class was in a state of shock. Going from a teacher that couldn’t even say ”please be quiet”, to this?

”Have I made myself clear?”, Miss Del Rio asked. The class nodded and their teacher started looking for a list of the names. ”When I call out your name, yell whatever you want, just make me understand that you’re that person”. She looked at the paper before starting.

”Courtney Act”, she called out. Courtney had gotten on her phone and didn’t notice Miss Del Rio talking. Everyone was looking at Courtney who had her eyes focused on her phone. Adore nudged her. She gave her a meaning look and Adore just looked back at their teacher that was currently staring at Court.

”Take your time, queen. We’re all here just for you”, she gave her a sarcastic smile as she said it. Courtney was shook. ”I’m here”, she mumbled. ”Apparently”, Miss Del Rio said back and wrote a green dot on her name on the paper. Then she continued. ”Willam”, Willam raised her hand and said yes.

”Violet”

“Tatianna”

“Gia”

”Adore”

Adore raised her hand and said yes and noticed that their teacher was staring at her wrist. Her sleeve had rolled down and all her scars were showing. She panicked and took her hand down and rolled her sleeve down.

”Adore, I’d like to talk to you after class”, Miss Del Rio said before marking her name with a green dot. Adore looked over at Courtney that had gotten back on her phone and sighed. ”Can you take a break for one minute, I’m freaking out. What if she gets me admitted somewhere, she saw my scars”, Adore whispered. Courtney locked her phone and looked at Adore.

”I’m sure she won’t do that, take it easy.”

Adore sighed again. Very reassuring, Court.

The new teacher went on with the list and when she was done she got on with the lecture. They were talking about the second world war and the subject was heavy and class stayed silent and listened when Miss Del Rio was talking. After she was done talking, they watched an hour-long documentary before the bell went off and the entire class packed their stuff and got up. Adore had hoped that Miss Del Rio had forgotten that she’d asked Adore to stay after class so she gathered her books and pen and got up to walk outside.

“Adore Delano, I asked you to stay after class”, she heard her teacher say right before she exited the room. She halted and walked back to the front desk. She took a chair from one of the nearby tables and sat across her teacher.

“Listen, kid. I saw the fresh scars on your arm and I know it’s none of my business but, believe or not, I do really care about all of you. If there’s anything I can do for you, please tell me. Are you talking to anyone?”, Miss Del Rio looked truly concerned. Adore tried to smile. She usually hated when people would interfere with her personal life and ask questions but she really didn’t mind this.

She nodded. “I’m currently seeing the school psychologist, and that’s enough for me. At least for now. There’s really nothing for you to do. It just is what it is. But thank you, Miss Del Rio”.

Her teacher started packing her things. “That’s great. I heard Michelle’s supposed to be a good school psychologist, I haven’t gotten the chance to speak to her yet. Also, you may call me Bianca when it’s just you and me. When I’m talking personal stuff with the students, it might feel distant to refer to me as Miss Del Rio”, she smiled towards Adore and Adore returned the smile.

She had an appointment with Michelle in 2 minutes and knew she needed to probably run to her meeting since their school was huge. She put the chair back at the table and put her books under her arm and walked Bianca out of the classroom. They waved goodbye before parting and Adore starting walking as fast as she could to Michelle’s office in the end of the building.

When she got the door of her office he took a second to catch her breath before knocking on the door, harder than she anticipated. She opened and found the back of Michelle’s chair facing her. She smiled.

“I’ve been expecting you, oh late one”, she heard Michelle say in a deep voice while turning her chair to face her with a smile. Adore looked at her clock. She was one minute late. “Bitch, I’m usually way more late than this. It’s only a minute past 3”. She laughed and nodded while gesturing for Adore to sit down in front of her. She put her books on Michelle’s desk before sitting down and taking a deep breath.

“Tell me. How’s your week been?”, Michelle asked. Adore looked at her arms and sighed.

“I’ve been cutting more”, she said with shame in her voice. “Did anything happen or were there bad thoughts that clouded your mind again”, Michelle asked.

She nodded. “The latter. More memories are coming back, I don’t think I really forgot them I just think I’ve been repressing them. Trying not to remember them to shield myself from the pain but it’s just hard. It hasn’t helped. I still have problems with people touching me, especially men. Which is a huge fucking issue since I go to drag school and the building I’m in is specifically for drag queens.”, she felt tears rushing down her face and Michelle took a deep breath before she replied.

“Darling. This is going to be hard, what that man did to you when you were at your most vulnerable state is absolutely disgusting. It’s going to take time to repair from this, it might take years, who knows. It’s different for each person going through this. You must accept your limits and not push yourself to touch people, to be intimate with other people. You are not insane, no one thinks you’re insane. You feel damaged and that’s okay right now. That might be the truth, but that does not mean that you’re not going to heal”, she said and reached her hand out for her. Adore took her hand and wiped away tears with her free hand. Michelle’s thumb was rubbing the back of Adores hand.

“Does this feel okay?”, she asked and continued. Adore sniffled and nodded. She had gotten to know Michelle and had worked her way up from not wanting to touch her at all to holding her hand.

Adore knew she had a long way to go still. About 5 months ago, she had gotten raped twice by her boyfriend before she told Michelle that helped her work up the courage to break up with him, she then got brutally beaten and got help from Michelle to report him. She still suffered from the incident. She knew she had some form of light PTSD, she had nightmares some nights and got flashbacks at times, she used to feel nauseas whenever someone would touch her but she had gotten better at that, she had more of a problem with sleeping with people. She had severe intimacy issues and got afraid every time someone expressed affection towards her.

“You’re making progress, baby”, Michelle said and drew her hand back and relaxed in her chair. “Now tell me something good that has happened”. Adore smiled.

“Well… There is this new teacher. We had her for the first time today and I really liked her. I know It’s really inappropriate for me to say but she’s really cute. She has dimples. I haven’t gotten the chance to see her out of drag, but my stomach kind of fluttered when I saw her. I haven’t gotten that feeling ever before. I finally understand why they call it butterflies. It kind of felt like it”, Adore blushed as she was telling Michelle.

Michelle smiled. “Well, maybe it’s not ideal since she is your teacher but you’re also in college and you only have her for one semester since history isn’t your major. So never say never? Right now, I’d say hold on to that feeling. You’re moving forward, you’re starting to feel something for someone again. That’s only positive”.

Adore closed eyes and for a second imagined her and Bianca holding hands. She wanted to get to know her.

[blaperile]

Homestuck Candy Epilogue - Reactions Pages 1 - 4

Okay, so we've had enough time to let the Meat Epilogue sink in and finally start reading the Candy Epilogue. It's 4/13 after all, no better time to start making this happen!

Man, the Meat Epilogue was a wild ride.

It was clearly left open-ended, seemingly intending to be continued later somewhere else. I wonder what the result of the Candy Epilogue will be, will it be just as open-ended or not?

And I'm very curious in what ways this will be going differently.

I mean, John's going to choose to remain on Earth, you'd think. But I'd assume Karkat would still be running for president, Rose would continue deteriorating and Dirk would be executing his schemes, right?

Or is Alternate Calliope going to be the "main" narrator of this path, with Dirk barging in at a later point, and will this cause some drastic changes? That would be interesting to see just how much impact their narrations have on events.

And is there a Candy version of the Furthest Ring, or is there just one version? If so, are we going to explore some alternate perspectives compared to the Meat Epilogue? Is it now time for appearances by Sollux, Eridan, Feferi (who were advertised as being characters in these Epilogues)?

This path seems like it's setup for a pleasant ending, maybe with Karkat becoming president, but I'm worried it's not going to be that simple.

So, what's going to happen first? I assume we'll "continue" with John's picknick with Roxy and Calliope first. Is he going to join them now, or will he decide to drop by someone else first?

Also, in the Meat path there was a very elaborate description of John eating the meat, and it affecting the smell of his clothes, is that now also going to be the case with the candy? :p

Anyway, let's go! Again going to write my comments once I've finished reading a page.

Page 1:

HOLY CRAP!!!!

Right out of the gate, things are going differently than I'd expected. So Calliope had already made a plan for in case John were to stay... and it is to free Gamzee???? :O

Holy shit, I'm excited about this. If there's one thing I (slightly) regretted about the end of Homestuck, and the Meat Epilogue, it was Gamzee's limited role in it. He was seemingly made totally irrelevant in the end, after his role in the Game Over timeline had played out.

Even in the Meat path, he was immediately put back into the fridge by John.

Oh man, are we going to get some actual proper Gamzee dialogue out of this again, for the first time in SO long?

One thing that was never cleared out, was how the fuck Gamzee ended up in the far future to find Calliope and Caliborn.... Does this mean that it's CANDY Gamzee who raises them?

That would be really interesting, meaning the Candy path won't be as irrelevant to the grand scheme of things as you might think.

He did always seem to be very serene when we saw him with Caliborn, very similar to when he was under mind control by Aranea and put in a fake state of serenity.

Is he now going to make actual peace with himself, and his friends? Are we going to see him actually talk things out with Karkat and Kanaya? :O

Calliope mentioned that John will need his retcon powers. Does she already plan for him to send Gamzee to the far future so he's there to find Calliope and Caliborn?

Or did they leave Gamzee behind in the B2 session and John simply needs to retrieve him from there?

Man, I'm hella pumped for this.

Page 2:

Whoa.... okay, where to start with this? The beginning I guess. :P

So, John retrieved Gamzee's fridge from LOTAK? ...Does that make sense? I mean, I recall that first the fridge was on LOMAX, around where Jake, Jasprosesprite^2, Nepetasprite, and Gcatavrosprite were.

And in Collide it bouced around a lot due to the antics of Cans. But didn't it start out on LOMAX then?

Maybe I forgot something, it's been a while since I read/watched all that in detail. I should check it again.

Anyway, I definitely didn't expect John to be retrieving Gamzee from BEFORE the events of Collide.

And you should have seen my gasping face as soon as Gamzee's quirk started turning back to his normal one! :O

I love how it feels kind of totally wrong, which is also kind of lampshaded in the page itself, and yet it's also so satisfying to be reading his almost incomprehensible dialogue again, the way only he can.

He does sound like he's truly back.

I mean, it's clear his mind is screwed up. After all, all that Sopor Slime can't have been good for his think pan.

But I do feel like he's being sincere now and wants to change for the better. Let's hope he won't be retriggered into any old behaviour, but if he truly becomes the Gamzee that merges into Lord English... well, at least he was at peace in the time with Caliborn leading up to that moment.

Man, I definitely didn't expect Terezi to show up here in dialogue!!! Considering the fact that in the Meat path Terezi never made any reference to Gamzee again, can we assume we're indeed dealing with an alternate version of the Furthest Ring? :O

If so, is the Lord English battle going to play out in the same way over there or not?

I have a feeling this other Terezi might actually succeed in finding Vriska... the only question is whether it will be the alive one, or the dead one.

And that last line is really ominous... "Something feels different, but he can’t put his finger on it."

Is something going on with Calliope? Has SHE taken control of the narrative now perhaps, like her alternate self did in the Meat path?

It would kind of makes sense. She has after all always written fanfiction about her heroes, so now she might be growing further into that role.

Page 3:

WELL THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY.

I didn't expect Dirk would give up in this path so easily. I mean, in the Meat path, when he talked to Rose he was talking about the alternate series of events where John remained behind on Earth, I'd assumed he had some kind of back-up plan for there, but no apparently.

He's totally losing it now.

And it certainly seems like he's not in control of the narration! Or at least, has lost control of it.

Definitely sounds like it might be Alpha Calliope who's in control now???

I wonder if Alternate Calliope is somehow influencing her and talking to her or something, or if it's just Alpha Calliope's doing.

I love the cryptic reference to the Meat path, with saying there's no time for politics or adventurous hijincks.

So, what IS Dirk going to do? Is he just gonna lay down and die or something? :/

Or is he, hopefully, going to let go of it and at least turn back into somewhat more of a normal person like he used to be?

I also wonder, the Dirk who saw John take the fridge... is that "him"? Or is it actually a separate Dirk from a different, retconned reality?

Which reminds me that I forgot to mention about the first page, when John was eating the candy, the references to splinters in the candy... it instantly made me think of Dirk.

Also, if Jane's not going to run for president... IS Karkat even going to run for president? Because that was mostly inspired by Jane campaigning in the first place.

If not, is someone else going to run for president in this timeline? Or will it turn out irrelevant to this particular series of events?

Page 4:

D'awwww, this is so adorable. Rose and Kanaya together, as they should be.

Again some references to what happens in the Meat path, with Rose being taken away from Kanaya and such.

Rose mentioning how it all happened abruptly... I still can't help but wonder if it's because her body senses that the timeline had diverged, or if there's an outside influence from a narrator taking this feeling away from her, such as Calliope.

Man, this path really is going to go way differently from the Meat path. I'm really curious where it's going!

In the Meat path, the main characters were basically John, Dirk, Dave, Karkat and Alternate Calliope, in a nutshell.

If I had to throw out a wild guess after these first few pages, is it now going to be John, Roxy, Rose, Kanaya and Alpha Calliope?

That would be a really interesting parallel. Then in both paths, the main characters would be John, 1 B2 Kid, 1 B1 Kid (other than John), 1 Troll, and 1 version of Calliope.

I mean, Gamzee will also clearly play SOMEWHAT of a role in this path, but I highly doubt he’s going to be “the most important character of the Candy Epilogue”. On the other hand, never bet against the “most important character of Homestuck”. XD