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problematicfavesareproblematic · 4 years ago

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Band of Brothers Greetings, Part 2

Cute/charming things thay say when they walk into a room and see you/you walk into a room and they see you

Speirs:

Ok, first off- the moment he walks into a room, any room, he scans to see if you’re there, and if you are what you’re doing.

He’s always done it, but since things between the two of you have gotten a bit steamy you find yourself catching him doing it ALL. THE. DAMN. TIME.

Like Ronald, you’re vv handsome and smoldery but YOU AREN’T SUBTLE IN THE SLIGHTEST.

Boi’s head is literally on a swivel until he finds you, straight up ignoring the person trying to talk to him until he sees that you’re there before impatiently returning his attention to whatever NIxon is saying (you know, BC OH YEAH not only are we at work but our work is war whoopsies could you repeat that, Nix i was lost in my handsome deathwish prince’s eyes?)

He’s always careful to read your body language to see how you're feeling, and based on that and the context of where y’all are he decides how (and if) to approach you.

His own feelings overwhelm him so it’s easier for him to focus on how you’re feeling

(Weirdly enough, you can read his feelings better than he can read his feelings sometimes.)

You weirdos end up staring at each other for way too long, entire conversations flowing between you two with little more than a lift of an eyebrow and a tilt of the head.

Bill and Babe had a game where they would see who between them could hold their breath through more of yours and Speirs’s weird hive mind-meld, the loser getting two freebies from the other’s rations.

Soon, more people joined in, and one day Speirs walked in while Peacock and LIpton were discussing the formation they wanted the camp set up in and half of the guys simultaneously took a deep breath through their noses to get a lungful of air

When Lipton looked back out to the group of listening soldiers, he was disturbed to see several of his friends red or blue faced and looking between you and Speirs and each other like a tennis match

One look from Speirs put a stop to that game for a good month.

It only started up again because they saw Ron storm into the med bay and kiss you full on the mouth when you were alone after a soldier had punched you in that nose during Market Garden and left you horrifically blood-soaked and he’d thought you’d been shot.

Then the game turned into who could catch Ron showing human emotions towards you, with more points being given to the more softboy the action.

In an effort to keep THE BOYS™ focused during meetings, you and Ron eventually decided it’d be best to just stand by each other whenever you were in a room together, bc while you both are soft for each other you still get that you can’t be too distracted.

Well, you decided that.

If anything, Ron now has a new favorite game- seeing how long you could stay focused with his fingers running up and down your thigh while sitting together.

He may have slipped his hand beneath your waistband a few times and gotten you off during one of Nix’s intelligence briefings, whispering that you were being so good for him the entire time

and you may have retaliated once by getting him so worked up that he almost came in his pants like a teenager while surrounded by his sleeping men before giving him an overly sweet look before slipping away.

He makes you pay for it later, don’t worry :)

Martin:

MY ANGER BB

SO GLARE-Y, SO FROWN

That is...until he sees you

Then the furrow in his brow softens, and a knowing smile breaks across his face and he either comes to be by you or (a la Bull Randleman) he will raise him arm to show you that there is a you-sized space that needs filling (hurry plz it makes him feel better to touch you.)

He’s not going to show PDA when y’all’re busy- bc he’s good and what he does and you’re good at what you do but that doesn’t mean you can just not pay attention if important info is benign shared.

If he thinks you aren’t paying enough attention he’ll let you know right away.

Or just glare at the thing distracting you until it eventually relents or someone hits his arm and tells him to stop glaring at the pretty flowers y’n’s looking at they’ll burst into flame and then she’ll be sad

BUt homeboy is not afraid to have you lean against him, or sit in his lap as you both get ready to do whatever it is you have to do.

If the lot of you are just hanging out- he’s much more relaxed, giving you a quick kiss on the cheek or temple before returning his attention to whatever he had been doing- arms wrapping around you as he catches you up on whatever you’d missed

BC HE WOULD WANT YOU TO BE INCLUDED IN EVERYTHING HE DOES (as long as it’s not too dangerous, obvi)

“But John, you’re going on the patrol—!” “Yeah, cause if you’re not going SOMEONE has to make sure these boys don’t get themselves killed. Think it’d be rude to leave them to fend for themselves...”

“But i could go-” “NO you can’t, shut up. Now listen to my plan and tell me what you think…”

He knows how good you are at your job, and it makes him want to be better at his job so he can make sure to be there for you.

I also feel like THE BOYS™ would sometimes be surprised to see Johnny “It may be a bitchface but I’m not resting” Martin being a lil soft with you, and would sometimes stare in shock at the sight of the two of you looking at each other with such open adoration and softness that they’d get a lil mesmerized.

Until either you or Johnny noticed

Then, get ready for the SNARKIEST “Can I FUCKING help you?” glare combo to ever exist ever.

This made me smile, idk

Luz:

GEOOOOOOOOOORGE Luz

My guy (much like Babe) is SO INTO YOU it can sometimes get the both of you in trouble (How either of you managed to keep from getting kicked out is a miracle).

Luz is also a dramatic little goober, so you know he’ll do something over the top to try and make you laugh (bc, unlike him, you can actually keep it together for more than five seconds whenever you see him)

I’m talking shooting to his feet and standing on his chair and pointing in your direction the moment he sees you (especially if it’s for the first time that day/in a while), putting on a deep voice and an overly serious expression.

“Good God boys, I think we’re in the presence of a GOD. DAMN. KNOCKOUT.”

“WOOH, look at that! Somebody get Roe, cause I’m pretty sure my is about to JUMP outta my CHEST!”

(“You sure you ain’t just hopped up on caffeine and no sleep—?” “Shut UP Perconte, can’t you see I’m trying to flirt with your mother?”)

When you smile sleepily and tell him he can’t talk to your son that way he’ll perk up like a goddamn puppy dog, hop down from his chair and grab the mug of burnt coffee he’d poured for you when he’d heard you greeting Nixon that morning.

He presses the cup into your hand and his smile would soften into the one he saved for you (the one he’d given you after the two of you had snuck out past curfew at Toccoa to put a can of peaches by the door of Sobel’s bunkhouse and nearly gotten caught because you couldn’t stop giggling)

Luz is so obviously a goof but he also would be so endearingly obvious in his adoration of you.

No one would dare tease him about it. George brought so much light and (much needed) distraction from the darkness around them that THE BOYS™ would literally go to the ends of the earth to ensure that the two of you had time together.

Don’t think about how, after being assigned a (gasp) room with a queen bed and a door(!) he would give you that smile again BUT this time there’d be a lil hint of Trouble in those bright eyes. Don’t think about him swallowing your sighs as the two of you keep each other warm between the sheets.

But if you do think about it, know that he’s going to whisper the sweetest, kindest things to you the whole time, and yall are gonna fall asleep like teens in a CW show (~in each others armzZz~)

Guarnere:

KING of the dirty wink

Oh my god.

Put that thing away before you get silly and hurt someone

You’ve heard of undressing someone with your eyes (see Liebgott and Nixon (and Ron if he’s feeling naughty shhh)), and you’ve heard of talking someone right out of their pants.

You had never known it was possible to WINK someone into a PUDDLE of feels.

Bill had a whole language of winks and head tilts, but you could be DAMN sure that he knows EXACTLY what he can do to you.

(Because you’re in a position where you’re under a bit more scrutiny than the other men, he also knows that you can’t necessarily reciprocate your feelings as openly as he can.)

DOn’t worry, he’s more than happy to flirt publicly for the both of you

“There she is, fuckin goddess of war herself. Come to see how the toughest, most handsome sonofabitch in the 506 is doin’ this morning?”

“Yeah, Bill. Something like that.”

It’s really cute.

When you guys are alone, you try to make up for the fact that you can’t openly admire him the same way that he admires you. But Bill won’t hear it- tells you that he’d still think the world of you, even if you called him “the most unhelpful, condescending little shit” you’d ever had the displeasure of meeting

(which you did, after two weeks of constantly being paired up for training in Georgia)

(He’d asked you to marry him the next day, and you’d laughed so loudly and unexpectedly that it startled the both of you. The only thing to shut you up was a bark from Lipton to focus on the combat training, and even then you hadn’t been able to stop your shoulders from shaking)

For all his insistence that you didn’t have to worry about him thinking you don’t share his feelings, he isn’t opposed whenever the mood to show him how much you care for him strikes you.

Take a lil initiative when the two of you are alone and he’s putty in your hands.

BC while he finds your restraint admirable, he’d be a fucking liar to say you dropping the stoicism to get a lil dirty makes him weak.

Everyone else is used to Bill being an open flirt, and they are pretty sure if you had a problem with it you’d make him stop, but that doesn’t stop them from being surprised when Bill had dipped you into an over-the-top romantic kiss when it was announced the war was over (BC LET’S PRETEND HE WAS ALL GOOD AND HEALED UP AND WAS WITH BUCK AT THE BASEBALL GAME OKAY?!).

Speirs had simply held his hand out, palm up while all the guys who’d bet against him paid up

He’d shipped it from day one, but you’ll never be able to prove it!

(YIKES A DOODLE HERE’S PART TWO! Thank you to everyone who responded and liked the first half (major shout out to @mrsalwayswrite for writing my new favorite Liebgott story!) Again, love yall, and may your personal letters never be considered contraband)

#band of brothers imagine #band of brothers x reader #ron speirs x reader #ronald speirs x reader #john martin x reader #johnny martin x reader #george luz x reader #luz x reader #bill guarnere x reader #guarnere x reader #it's vv bad but I'll just add it to the pile of already burning garbage pile that is my bibliography

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monstersandmaw · 5 years ago

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Heads up, there's a mega dose of familial prejudice against a non-human partner in this one. It's still got a good old fluffy ending though, because it's me...

I intended it to be much shorter, but the story ran away with me and I cared too much about the characters to keep it to my original 1-2k word plan. It's 4131 words.

I really hope you enjoy this one. It's been a while since I've done one with a female monster and a male reader, so I'm sorry. This one is another Patreon exclusive, but the next one will go up on Tumblr a day later.

When the reader's sister announces her wedding date, and he brings his orcish girlfriend to their small-town wedding, things get heated. Luckily for him, Khara is one chilled out, open-minded, awesome orc.

---

Chunky Preview

Her hand was on your thigh in a brief, chaste, affectionate squeeze the moment you’d climbed into her car. “How was work?” she asked in her husky, rich voice and you short circuited for a moment just seeing her again.

You’d only been dating for a month or so, but Khara had proven to be quite possibly the best thing that had ever happened to you. Admittedly you hadn’t actually told anyone back home that you were dating a six foot four orc, but you figured you’d get round to it at some point.

She’d introduced you to her family within about the first week, and you were already part of the clan it seemed. Her little brother was asking you for CV writing advice and her twin brother had put you through a series of subtle (and not so subtle) tests to see if you really did care for Khara. Apparently you’d passed with flying colours and they’d all laughed when you’d looked like you were about to pass out when you’d been told about it all.

You sighed. “Work sucked, as usual, but it was easier knowing I was going to see you afterwards,” you grinned, and she rolled her eyes and smacked you playfully with the back of her hand and laughed. A moment later she was leaning in to kiss you, her short, thick tusks nudging against your cheeks.

“Come on. Let’s go grab a beer and forget about work.”

You swivelled in your seat and slid your bag onto the back seat, careful to avoid dumping it onto her photography gear which covered one of the back seats of her big 4x4.

Her hand fell back to your thigh as she drove out of the car park where she’d picked you up, and you tipped your head back against the seat and groaned. It wasn’t a particularly sexual gesture, but just the splay of her fingers across the muscle of your thigh was enough to get you to forget about your shitty manager and your stressful day. You laid your own hand down atop hers and squeezed her fingers gently in yours. “Thanks,” you murmured.

A second later, your phone rang and you dug it out of your pocket with a scowl. When you saw the name on the screen, your heart sank. “It’s my mother,” you sighed and she laughed.

“You gonna tell her about me yet?” she asked, waggling her eyebrows. The question was not barbed; she knew how your family felt about non-humans. To have their precious eldest child dating one would have horrified them. They’d never even met a non-human in the small, backwater town where you’d grown up, so goodness knows what kinds of stories they’d heard and believed over the years…

You answered Khara’s question with a roll of your eyes and then accepted the call. “Hi, mum,” you said flatly.

She chirped your name, berated you for not calling more often, and then launched into a barrage of very boring family information, dotted with the odd question directed at you. “Oh, and of course, I nearly forgot!” she added after about five minutes of continuous monologuing. “It was the whole reason I called you! Georgia has set a date for the wedding!”

“Oh,” you managed, without enthusiasm. Your sister had been engaged for over a year now with no wedding date set before now.

“You’ll be coming, of course,” your mother breezed. “So, she tells me that Charlotte and Maria will both be alone this year, so I can put you between them at the singles table,” she said.

“That’s a little ambitious of you,” you sneered sarcastically. “Both of them?”

“Oh, don’t be silly,” she scoffed, more exasperated than amused. “I’m hoping that perhaps one of them will catch your eye. It’s been such a long time since you brought that lovely Kate home… I do worry for you, you know?”

“Actually,” you began, but then froze. ‘That Lovely Kate’ had in fact turned out to be a deceptive, cheating nightmare, but your mother had never accepted that for some reason.

“What? Don’t tell me you have someone?” she squealed. “Oh darling! I’m thrilled! I can’t wait to meet her! What’s her name?”

You swallowed thickly and shot Khara a glance. Her eyes twinkled and her lips twitched up into a smile that instantly became a shit-eating grin when she saw the look on your face. “This is it, isn’t it?” she mouthed and you nodded. “Go on then.”

You put your hand over your phone and hissed, “She’s not going to be pleasant about you if I tell her you’re an orc…”

“I don’t care,” she said, waving her hand and returning her brown-eyed gaze to the road. “I’m not dating her, I’m dating you…”

In a whisper, you said, “I love you,” and then turned back to your mother. “Well, her name’s Khara,” you said. “We’ve been seeing each other for about a month now.”

“You’ll bring her along, won’t you?” she said immediately. “Oh I’m so excited for you. I thought you were never going to bring another girl home…”

“Mum, please, I’m in my twenties - I’m not some washed up old fart!” you said and got a bark of laughter from Khara beside you.

“I know, I know, but your father and I were married and expecting you by the time we were your age…”

You sighed. Here we go again, you thought. And sure enough came ‘the speech’ about how she’d been so worried that you’d remain a bachelor forever or that - god forbid - you might even be gay… The way she said it like that just pissed you off - so fucking what if you had been dating another guy anyway? - but a squeeze from Khara’s hand on your thigh again centred you and you took a deep breath.

“Mother, stop, please,” you interrupted. “I get it. You think I’m a hopeless loser.”

That earned a deep, almost feline growl from Khara and it was your turn to reach for her and sooth her. In her own way she was gently protective of you, even from yourself.

“You can’t be completely hopeless if you’ve found yourself a girl at last,” she laughed. “Tell me all about her.”

“Well, she’s a photographer,” you began and your mother made an unimpressed sound. Perhaps she’d been hoping for a doctor or something, but what the hell did it matter anyway? “And she’s an orc.”

Deafening silence thundered down the connection for a good five seconds.

“Mum? Still there?”

“I’m here,” she said tersely. “You’re joking, right? Please tell me you’re joking.”

“Nope,” you said, making the word pop.

Khara was grinning again, fighting off laughter, and this time there was a feral glint in her eyes that spurred you on and gave you the confidence you needed.

“You’re not going to bring… bring an… an orc to your sister’s wedding, are you?”

“Yes,” you said firmly but quietly. “Yes mother, I am. Khara and I are dating, and you asked if I’d like to be there to support my sister on her wedding day. Khara will be my plus one.”

Read the whole thing, and gain exclusive access to monthly stories, the Orctoberfest with more orcs than you can shake a WoW game at, WIP snippets, polls, character bios, and our private Discord server right now!

#orc #female monster #monster girlfriend #exophilia #female orc #orctober #patreon only

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artificialqueens · 6 years ago

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The 5 Times Bob Tried to Propose and the 1 Time It Worked (Bob/Miz Cracker) - Mac

AN: I’ve been working on this fic for over a year now, and I’m so glad to finally get it out of my drafts. This is a bunch of fluff, with a teeny tiny bit of angst, but a happy ending. I hope you all enjoy! (Special thanks to Saiph for beta-ing, and being an absolute angel.)

Summary: What the title says…

…

It had been a wonderful dinner. Bob had taken Maxwell to their favorite restaurant and ordered pretty much everything on the menu. That was one of the multitude of things they had in common, their love of food. Bob’s heart had been racing the whole meal and subsequently, his leg was bouncing non-stop. Maxwell had been periodically asking him if he was ok, to which Bob had tried to mask his nerves with a smile. Only serving to make Maxwell more curious.

Bob had been planning this for months, the location, the speech, even what he would be wearing. So naturally he wanted this to go well. Bob kept glancing at his watch and looking at Maxwell expectantly. Maxwell gave him a strange look, but smiled at his boyfriend, unsure what had sparked this weird nervousness, but not on the whole opposed to it. It was nice seeing Bob a little out of his element. The comedy queen of season 8 was usually all confidence and wicked smirks. Seeing him nervously looking around and blushing every time their hands touched, was a welcome turn of events.

As Max finally pushed his plate forward and leaned back, Bob grabbed his hand. Maxwell sat up suddenly at the intensity in Bob’s eyes; all the mirth had vanished. His hands were sweaty, and his heart was pounding out of his chest.

Nevertheless, he started his speech. “Max, we’ve been together a while now. We both have big plans for our future, and I know that you’re gonna do amazing things in this world, and I want to be there to witness all those moments.” Bob started to kneel. “Maxwell will-“

A sudden shriek from the opposite end of the restaurant caused both Bob and Maxwell’s heads to turn. A man was on his knees with an outstretched box. A woman, who Bob assumed the annoying sound had come from was crying hysterically. “Yes. Yes, of course!” The patrons began to clap loudly, and Bob could only just pick up Max’s voice above the noise.

“Wow, how tacky.”

Fuck Bob thought. and he let out the breath he had been holding. There goes that.

As the applause died down, Maxwell turned his attention back to Bob. “What were you saying, babe?”

“Oh nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

…

They were visiting Bob’s family in Georgia. It had been a long time since he had been back. Everything looked the same, but it didn’t feel like home anymore. It was sad, but he was happy that he now had confirmation that his life in New York was the right one to be living. Bob’s family embraced him with open arms and scolded him for not calling enough. They told Max he was too skinny, and after feeding him an entire aluminum tray of macaroni, effectively putting him in a food coma, they turned their attention back to Bob. The questions started immediately, and Bob couldn’t help the smile that enveloped his face as he gushed about all his proposal ideas. His family was ecstatic. They had always loved Max, and the year it took the two of them to get their heads out of their asses and start dating, was the longest of their lives. For the rest of the week that Bob and Maxwell were visiting, they kept giving him sly smiles, and dropping hints about different proposal locations. Finally, Bob knew he just had to get away for the day, the incessant nagging, while out of love, was beginning to grate on his nerves. He offered up the county fair to Max, who eagerly accepted, happy to have some alone time together. It was a small affair, but there were hot air balloons and a Ferris wheel, and Max was there, so it was a good time. They walked around to the few booths. Max was surprisingly good at skee ball. And Bob was surprisingly not. Max won a stupidly huge stuffed bear, and made Bob hold it while he ran around like a kid to all the other booths. It was cheesy and silly, but Max’s smile still filled Bob’s chest with a warm fuzzy feeling. Even after all this time, Bob’s heart still beat just as hard as it had the first time. Well maybe not the first first time, because they had simply been strangers at that point. When he thought about it, it still floored him that they could have ended up just being ships in the night, passing in and out of each other’s lives with hardly any notice. He is grateful to whatever deity that possessed him to run after Max all those years ago. It had been awkward at first, Bob standing still and silent, unsure what to say to make Max stay. He finally told Max that he wanted to try. Wanted to give whatever they had, a try. Max took a moment. Bob could see the wheels in his head working so fast smoke was coming out his ears. But then they screeched to a halt suddenly, and Max nodded with a small smile, and the rest was history. Not an entirely peaceful or normal history, they were drag queens for fuck’ sake, but they had made that journey together. Bob hoped against hope that they could continue to do so. And almost as if on cue, almost as a sign from the gods above, Bob spotted a hot air balloon. Not one to ignore signs, Bob grabbed Max’s hand and drug him over to the line. Max gave him a sweet smile and allowed himself to be led into the contraption, with Bob holding his hand, and an employee to drive them. Bob tried to contain his excitement until they were floating some hundred feet above the ground. He held Max close to him, arm wrapped around his lover’s waist, and his own hand in his back pocket fiddling with the box. Max was looking out at the horizon, pointing out buildings and clouds and anything his eyes could touch. Bob hummed his affirmations, too scared to speak without giving away his intentions. Just as the tension became too much, Bob made a grab for the box. Several things happened at once. The balloon dipped suddenly and without warning, causing the box that contained the ring in Bob’s hand to fly out into the air. Max shrieked and grabbed onto the basket tightly as the wind whipped all around them, sounding like a scream. And the attendant that was supposed to be flying the damn thing was frantically running around the small space doing god knows what. Bob felt his stomach drop at the loss of the ring, but he couldn’t worry about that now with Max clutched against his chest, and the wind still beating on the sides of the basket, hundreds of miles above ground. They stayed pressed together, breathing in each other’s air for what felt like years. The wind whipped and screeched, but Bob held fast to Max. The older man began to have trouble breathing. Bob grabbed Max’s face in between his hands and made a conscious effort to slow his own breathing. Max started at him helplessly, trying his best to calm down. Bob recognized Max having an anxiety attack. After so many years together, he knew the signs like the menu at their favorite restaurant. Bob held Maxwell’s face steady and began whispering reassurances, “It’s ok. You are ok. Just breathe with me. Can you do that?” Max nodded jerkily, and squeezed his eyes shut. Sometimes when he was having these attacks he hit, what he described as “sensory overload.” Sometimes sounds could be too much, sometimes touch could be too much, sometimes even looking at anything was too much. Bob had gotten pretty good at reading Max’s needs at these times, but he still got things wrong. So, he would always ask if what he was doing was ok. “Is it ok that I’m holding you?” A nod. “Do you want me to stop talking?” A shake. “Ok.” Bob continued breathing in and out slowly, occasionally whispering to Max that everything was ok and that it was going to be ok. And before long, the wind died down, and the balloon touched none too gently on the ground. Max bolted out of the small space, and Bob followed close behind, sulking a bit when Max wasn’t looking. Maxwell held his hand the entire drive back to Bob’s house, and only let him go when he had to undo his seat belt.

…

Bob read on three separate marriage blogs that skywriting your proposal was really “in” right now. Bob never considered himself super trendy, but he figured it was over dramatic and sweet, so Max would appreciate it.

He had run into quite a few problems right from the start. They lived in New York City, which had some strange, but understandable laws about flying planes close to buildings. So, Bob had to schedule the proposal a few weeks out, and come up with some excuse to get Max and himself away from tall buildings, which sounded a lot easier said than done. Ultimately, Bob made the plans, and the payments, and went to bed feeling slightly better about his previous failed attempts.

Finally, the morning came, and Bob’s alarm blared into the previously silent bedroom. Max groaned loudly and attempted to silence the alarm by throwing a pillow at it. This only left the clock on the ground, and Maxwell without a pillow. Bob chuckled lightly at his boyfriend, who was now burrowing his head into Bob’s side and pouting. Bob started stroking Max’s hair lightly, and could have done so for hours, if only the high-pitched wailing of the clock weren’t so damn annoying.

Bob sighed and untangled himself from the human leech that was a sleepy Maxwell, to turn off the alarm. Max groaned again when Bob flung open the curtains, letting the early light dance along the walls of their shared room.

“Five more minutes.” Max pleaded; head still buried in the sheets.

“No, c’mon we’re gonna miss it.” Bob pulled the blankets and sheet clear off the bed, leaving Max grumpily looking up at him between his fingers. Well, as grumpily as a grown man in boxer shorts with a pout can.

“Miss what?”

“Miss Vanjie”

Max laughed despite himself.

He got back at Bob by taking his sweet ass time getting ready. Bob eventually had to physically pull Max out of the apartment so they wouldn’t be late.

They took a taxi and sat in relative silence with Max’s head resting on Bob’s shoulder, only occasionally sitting up to ask Bob where they were going. Bob refused to answer, but as they drove, and the signs for the pier became more frequent, Max started to get an idea.

When they pulled up, Max jumped out of the taxi excitedly, leaving Bob to fork over the fare. Max practically ran over to the line for the ferry and looked back at Bob expectantly.

Bob knew Max had always wanted to see the Statue of Liberty up close. Even though they both had been in New York long enough to call it Home, neither had been to see the iconic landmark yet. Bob had found it too touristy, and practically pointless, but Maxwell was a bit of a history nerd.

Every time they would vacation, Max would ask to go to the local museum. And not the big nice ones, no. He wanted to go to the tiny ones in the middle of bumfuck nowhere towns that were run by some old man that the town had nicknamed something that started with a J. It was Bob’s personal opinion that all the old men they had met over the years were ghosts haunting them. Each time he told Max this, the older man would chuckle and press a kiss to his cheek, before turning back to inspect the artifacts. And while Bob didn’t understand it, who was he to get in the way of Max’s weird fascinations?

They piled on a too crowded boat, that felt like it could tip over at any moment, and Bob tried to not let his nerves show, but he couldn’t help his hands fidgeting. Max noticed, and placed his own hands in Bob’s larger ones, interlocking their fingers with a small smile.

Bob looked up at the sky, trying to make out where the plane would come from, and where his message would end up. It took Bob until the ferry was almost across the river to realize something had gone wrong. And it took him an embarrassingly long time to figure out what exactly had gone wrong.

In the midst of all his planning and prepping, he had completely forgotten to check the weather. The overcast sky was filled with so many clouds, no wonder the white smoke message didn’t appear.

Bob felt completely dejected but tried to put on a brave face for Max, who was eagerly running about, interrogating any tour guides in the immediate area.

…

Bob had no idea how to cook. He had tried and failed many times before. For their anniversaries, Maxwell would always take the lead, restricting Bob to dish duty, and even then, Bob managed to fuck something up. This time was going to be different, at least, that’s what Bob was telling himself. Breakfast in bed, the most classic romantic gesture, with a bit of a twist.

He had been scrolling endlessly on Amazon when he found it. A simple teacup that when filled with liquid hid the “Will you marry me?” message. Bob immediately added it to his cart. He had pulled up some fancy recipe for Quiche and woke up at the ass crack of dawn to cook.

It started off fine.

Bob cut the onions, washed the spinach, and scrambled the eggs. Everything seemed fine, until he started rolling out the pie crust. It was way too flimsy and kept breaking apart in the pan. Bob ended up working some kind of patchwork magic, filling in the holes as best he could, before combining all the ingredients into the pan. He said a silent prayer to any god that would listen and placed the pan in the oven. He put the kettle on the stove and sat back on their tiny little couch.

He felt himself comforted by the tattered blanket that was draped across his legs. Maxwell brought it from his old apartment. Bob smiles at the memory. Two apartments. It feels strange now to think that there was ever a time when he could breathe without Maxwell by his side. Or in his bed.

Moving in together was a normal step of most relationships that had lasted as long as his and Maxwell’s, but that step had been by far the hardest to work through.

Max had always been hesitant in their relationship. He overthought everything, and whenever there was a time to make a big relationship step, Bob had to be the one to make it. After a while, Bob started to worry that he was pressuring Max, or that his feelings weren’t reciprocated in the way he thought they were. When he communicated this to Max, the older man insisted it wasn’t anything to do with Bob himself.

“The reason I seem so hesitant is because I’ve been in relationships in the past where my affections, or at least, the degree at which I showed my affections, was not appreciated. I know you love me, and all the crazy that comes with that. But for me, sometimes I just feel like-like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting for you to realize that I’m way too into you, or not worth any of this mess. I’m just so scared if you knew how much I love you, you would run.”

Bob held him a little closer that night, and wiped his tears, and assured him that he was loved and wanted and so incredibly special. They fell asleep on the tiny couch, with dried tears on both of their faces, but a new blanket and a little less space in the closet.

Only after thoroughly getting lost in his own memories did Bob realize he had completely forgotten to add cheese. He ran to the kitchen and threw open the oven. Eyeballing about half the package of cheese, he threw it haphazardly on the top of the pie. He noticed that the filling was quite close to the top of the pan, but Bob remembered reading that this was normal, so he didn’t worry much.

Thirty minutes later, the smoke alarm sounded.

“Fuck!” He heard from the bedroom.

“Max, wait hold on!”

Bob shot up from the couch and threw open the oven, which was releasing an alarming amount of smoke. Maxwell was hot on his heels, and immediately threw open a window fanning the smoke to the bustling New York City morning. Bob grabbed the still hot pan and threw it on the stove, but in the process, he knocked over the kettle and cup in one swipe. The cup and kettle fell to the ground in a deafening crack, and Bob felt a bit of his heart crack too.

Maxwell immediately ran over to help, most of the smoke clear now. He pulled Bob away from the broken cup, and grabbed his hands, red marks from the hot pan angrily looking back at him. Maxwell grabbed the first aid kit from their shared closet and sat Bob down on the couch as he washed the burns with the lightest touch. Cup forgotten, mess forgotten, it was just the two of them, and Bob’s burning skin.

Max grabbed white vinegar from the still wreck of a kitchen and winced as Bob breathed in at the contact. All the while, Bob was focused on how his heart still swelled in his chest every time their hands touched. Maxwell finally sat back on the couch after pressing a light kiss to Bob’s hands.

“What on earth were you doing? I thought I revoked your kitchen rights after that instance with the brownies.” Maxwell wasn’t angry, thank god. He was just concerned. He also had this sad look in his eye; the likes Bob wasn’t familiar with. Bob knew after his previous attempts at proposing, Max was getting suspicious, and with every failed attempt, Bob distanced himself further. He was trying not to, but it was hard. It just felt like the world was out to get him and Max’s relationship.

“Sorry, Max. Was just trying to surprise you with somethin nice. Won’t happen again.” Bob crossed his heart. “I swear it.”

Maxwell smiled lightly, trying to keep from asking all the questions he so desperately wanted to ask. He instead opted for draping himself on top of Bob. The position wasn’t comfortable in the slightest, for either of them, but they stayed there until the sun was high in the sky, and the spilled tea hung heavy in the air.

That smell never quite left either.

…

I didn’t know it yet

That you would be the one

The first place we met

Our adventure had begun

Max looked at the note quizzically, according to Dusty’s recollection. He asked if it was some kind of joke. Dusty did his best not to spill the beans right there, and just told Maxwell to trust him. And so, the adventure began.

Bob had been planning this for weeks. He was by no means a poet, or even good with words most of the time, but he had gotten all their friends involved, and even people who weren’t their friends. There were clues hidden in all their usual date spots, as well as a few private moments they had shared together.

The first clue led to the side of a street in New York City. Monét was standing in the exact spot Bob remembered seeing Maxwell all those years ago. She handed Maxwell the second clue, who, by this point, was smiling goofily. Not quite sure what was going on, but by now, he was used to Bob’s antics.

Libraries full

Got nothing on you

The place I hate

Where you almost flew

The first time they fought. It wasn’t a happy memory, but a necessary one. It marked the time Max didn’t give in to his Inner Saboteur.

They had yelled and screamed in the middle of a bookstore. Bob still can’t remember what it was about, neither of them could. But all he knows is that the door flung open. Maxwell stood in the doorway for too long. The tinny music was the only sound that filled the practically empty bookstore. The two of them were in limbo. The musty smell didn’t matter. The nosy shop owner didn’t matter. The overwhelming feeling of dread that Bob had didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered was that Max stayed. He breathed in and out. Once. Twice. Then turned around.

He walked right up to Bob. He didn’t say anything, he just stood there.

And that was it.

They went about their night with biting quips here and there, tension still thick, but they were together.

Bob wanted to revisit all the places that meant anything to them. He wasn’t sure if Max would remember, but sure enough, he got that sad look on his face, at least according to Vanjie. She said, in between her gushing about her own wedding, that Max looked sad, but he knew exactly where to go to find the next clue. Bob had gotten Maxwell’s favorite book, a first edition copy for their three-year anniversary.

I’ve never been prouder

You light up my world

Come to the place

Where my heart first curled

The place they said, “I love you.” Bob couldn’t forget it even if he tried, and he never did. They had been perched up on the High Line. Looking out over the city. The world felt so full and bright and busy. Bob knew that was where he belonged, and that brought him joy, and at the same time, he felt sadness, because he knew his time in this great city would come to an end. He was overwhelmed, and when Maxwell leaned his head on his shoulder, he couldn’t help it. It just slipped out.

Maxwell had looked pensive as his face was caressed by the chilly New York City night air. But he said it back after a few seconds. And from that moment on, they couldn’t stop smiling at each other. Those sickly-sweet smiles that made others around them want to hurl, but secretly happy at the same time.

To you I’ll be true

Forever and a day

Don’t run too fast

I’ll get in your way

This is when it all went awry.

Maxwell had no idea where to go.

Looking back, Bob could have been clearer in his instructions. Maxwell wandered around the city practically all night; Bob was a helpless victim, watching as his soon-to-be fiancé went around to all the wrong places. Somehow, Maxwell missed the last three clues, but ended up in the right place anyway, back at their apartment. But rather than a romantic dinner and gushing about their wedding, the food was cold, and Bob was too tired and sad to answer any of Maxwell’s incessant questions. They ate in a stiff silence as Bob wondered if he even wanted to get married.

…

Bob had given up. He had tried on five separate occasions to propose to Max, and each time he hadn’t been able to. Maybe it was the universe telling him something. Maybe he and Maxwell weren’t meant to be.

That thought struck a chord in Bob, and he physically winced at it. Maxwell was everything to him. He was the only one that ever-made Bob feel right. He pushed the thought away and tried to focus on his lover’s words. “Are you even listening to me?”

Bob shook his head to clear it. “Yes, sorry.”

“You seem a bit…off lately.”

Bob sighed, “I know, I’m sorry. It’s just work ya know?”

“I do, but it seems like more than that.” Maxwell bit his lip, obviously refraining from saying something.

“What?” Bob’s words were harsh, and he regretted the tone immediately.

“It’s just that you don’t act like yourself anymore. Is something wrong? Did I do something wrong?”

Bob was exasperated with himself at this point. Not only had he failed to propose to the man he loves, but he made the man he loves doubt their relationship.

Bob couldn’t even begin to explain his feelings to Max, so he just settled for, “No. I’m fine, I told you, it’s just work.”

Maxwell sat back. “Yeah sure.” Sarcasm was bitterly woven through the vowels.

“What do you want me to say?”

“I want you to tell me the truth!” Maxwell snapped, he looked regretful, but offered no apology. Bob just sat there, shocked at the tone, and frozen in place. He didn’t know what to say.

Apparently, this was the wrong answer, because Maxwell got up and started walking away from him. As if to emphasize this fight, rain suddenly began to pour down on the two of them. Bob squinted as he looked up to the sky and screamed, “No. I don’t believe it. You’re wrong.”

He probably looked insane, yelling up at the sky, but it made perfect sense to him. If the universe didn’t think that he and Maxwell should be together, then fuck the universe.

Bob ran after his boyfriend, hardly noticing the state of his clothes. He grabbed Maxwell’s arm, who tried to wrench it away, but Bob held fast.

“Let me go, Chris.”

Bob took one look in his eyes as the rain came pouring down all around them, and he knew that this was the moment he had been waiting for. “Marry me.”

Maxwell stepped back. “What?”

Bob smiled widely and said it again. “Marry me.” A wary look from Maxwell made him realize how strange he must look, so he fumbled around in his pockets for a second before kneeling. “Marry me.”

Maxwell looked at him bewildered, and for a split-second Bob thought he must have gotten it wrong, but just as the silence began to get uncomfortable, a smile broke out on his face. He pulled Bob up by his soaked shirt into a kiss. Rain was falling all around them, and Bob knew he would never be able to wear these shoes again; his body was cold, and his hands were clammy, and it was nothing like he had planned it, but it was perfect. And the ring fit perfectly on Maxwell’s finger.

#rpdr fanfiction #bob the drag queen #miz cracker #bob x cracker #fluff #little bit of angst #5 + 1 #marriage proposal #mac #tw anxiety attack #rare pair

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tiny-maus-boots · 6 years ago

Text

The Fool

A/N: Part 4 of The Debt Collector Series, or the many bespoke three piece suits of Aubrey Posen.

Super big thank you to my bestie and beta @chloes-yellow-cup who puts up with me when I’m annoying (which is all the time), and STILL is kind enough to read and edit for me.

AAAAAND a very special thank you to @kate-harper because omgosh look at what she made!!! It is the greatest thing I have ever seen. It’s beautiful and I love and I have it saved as my lock screen so I can stare at it all day at work.

Stacie

She held up one dress in front of her body and sighed before flinging it to the side and holding up another. They were both beautiful long gowns that were light weight enough for the season but long and form fitted enough for the type of event. Stacie flung the second dress, a pale green, to the side and stood in front of Cynthia Rose in exasperation.

“I have a closet full of evening dresses and gowns and I can’t figure out what to wear to my own event tonight. I should have planned this weeks ago.”

Of course weeks ago she’d still been planning on attending by herself. It wasn’t always that way, usually Weston pretended to humor her work and attended events with her. But for the last couple of years she’d gone to each event with excuses instead of a husband. And when Aubrey had found out she asked to be her date, which was amazing, except now she had nothing to wear at the last minute. Her best friend looked up from the deck of cards she was idly shuffling and smirked then shook her head slowly. “What difference does it make? You ain’t gonna be in it but a minute.”

Stacie huffed and walked back into her closet to look for something else to wear. White was out, gold was out, green was definitely out. This used to be so easy before, any dress would do and Weston would wear the same tuxedo he always wore. It was nice of course, with classic lines, and he wore it well enough she supposed. But no one wore a suit like Aubrey and she had a feeling that Aubrey in a tux was going to make her weak. So she wanted to up her style game. Going stag was not the same thing as arriving with an escort.

“That isn’t the point. Like at all.” There was a knock at the door to the bedroom and she poked her head out of the closet to watch Cynthia Rose take something from the housekeeper. It was a large rectangular box with a bow on it. “What’s all this?”

“Georgia said it was just delivered by a strange mute woman. So I’m guessing Lil.” She placed the box on the edge of the bed and rested her hands on her hips. “You gonna open it?”

Stacie bounded over and leapt on to the bed already imaging what kind of dress might be in it. “What do you think it is? A pony?”

“I really hope you’re playing, girl.”

They had been best friends since college and the banter had always been the same. She’d be the dumb one and CR would be the cynical wise cracking one. It was a façade they both played to even though they knew each other much better than that. She pulled the ribbon off and opened the lid then let out a breath of surprised air. She shouldn’t have been surprised, Aubrey had impeccable taste, but for some reason she was blown away. Stacie reached into the box and pulled out the long deep red silk satin spaghetti strap gown.

“Guess that solves your dress problem. Damn. You gonna look hot.”

Stacie bit her lip and reached for the card in the bottom of the box and flipped it open. Cynthia Rose tried to look over her shoulder and she closed the card quickly. There were a lot of things that Aubrey would probably not care about if she told Cynthia Rose but something this personal, this romantic, that was out of the question to share.

“Nosy.”

“And which one of us is always digging through my phone to read my texts?”

“That’s different. Your sexts with that Ashley chick are awesome. Seriously. You could sell it as lesbian erotica. I know a guy.” Cynthia Rose gave her a look like she was out of her mind but it melted into something more considering after a moment. Stacie smirked and slid off the bed so she could read the card to herself. “Think about it.”

She leaned against the wall next to the window and smiled softly at the handwriting. Of course Aubrey wrote in beautiful heavy cursive script. ‘I promise to take it off you later – A’ It sent a thrill down her spine and she inhaled deeply at the thought of what Aubrey might have planned for her. Stacie gave the dress another look, holding it in front of her body while facing the full length mirror. It was gorgeous and she would look hot in it.

“You better hurry up. It’s almost time.”

Stacie nodded glad that she had already done her hair and makeup as padded into the closet to dress. Unsurprisingly the dress fit her perfectly, the slit riding almost to her hip was sure to flash a peek of her garter if her step was too long. She had wanted to tuck a gift from Aubrey into it but despite how small the lightweight the .22 caliber pistol was it was still a little too bulky for a simple black band. At the time Aubrey had given it to her the concealer thigh holster had seemed silly but as she adjusted it on her other thigh and tucked the gun into it she realized it was the perfect accessory. It held firmly and securely without ruining the line and fall of the dress. She grabbed her shoes and stepped into them, buckling the thin straps around her ankles.

When she stepped out of the closet Cynthia Rose gave her a whistle. “Aubrey’s going to love it. You look awesome, girl.” Her brow furrowed when her gaze trailed down Stacie’s body and ended at awkward way she was standing, trying to get used to the weight and feel of the gun strapped to her thigh. It would take her a few minutes to get adjust and get used to it but it was the first time she was wearing it for practical use. The other woman raised her brows in question as she guessed the problem immediately. “Oh so you ride or die now?”

It wasn’t an idle question and she could feel the current of something underneath the words. Maybe a threat, or a warning, she wasn’t sure but she gave a slow nod after thinking it through. She knew what being with Aubrey would mean if things got bad at work. She knew exactly the type of business Aubrey had, it was how they got to the situation they found themselves in now. Stacie turned to the mirror and started to touch up her makeup and hair.

“If you’re asking if I’m totally cool with how violent Aubrey can be for work then the answer is yes. I knew who she was before we started this, remember?”

Not that she herself could ever really forget the blonde’s work. This relationship with Aubrey had been so easy and almost too normal. It became harder and harder to remember that she was married to Weston and not Aubrey with all the time they spent in each other’s company. Stacie couldn’t even remember the last time she’d gone to Weston’s office to take him to lunch, then again he was rarely even there anymore. He spent more time traveling for work than he did at home which was quite frankly a relief.

But with Aubrey it was different. She found herself planning out her days so that she’d be around The Bird near lunch or dinner. And she’d dropped in a time or two at an inopportune moment. The most recent time giving her a very vivid reminder that this life was not a game.

She had hoped that it was a slow business day when she walked in to the manager’s office in the back. It hadn’t even crossed her mind that she would be walking directly into a business meeting of sorts. But she had and she’d stood frozen in the doorway as she took in the balding man tied to the chair and Aubrey with her sleeves rolled up to almost the elbow with slap jack in hand raised and ready to break a kneecap. The other woman hid it quickly but there was a flash of panic on her face that made Stacie’s heart squeeze painfully. For a second. Just a second, Aubrey had been afraid and it showed. She didn’t know how to ease that flash of fear without undermining the blonde so she cleared her throat and glanced down at the man, quietly closing the door behind her and locking it with a click.

“What’d you do?”

He tipped his head back to stare at her as if she were insane. She couldn’t blame him, this was obviously not the time for idle chit chat. When he didn’t answer soon enough Aubrey reached up and twisted two of his fingers roughly in a direction they were never meant to bend. They snapped and her voice came out with a low growl that did things to Stacie, making her body tighten with sudden desire.

“Answer the lady.”

Heat rose to her face and she cleared her throat when the man cried out. That…should not have been hot. He was a human being and he was in pain and Aubrey was the one causing it. It should have turned her stomach. But. It didn’t. She trusted that it was for a reason, because Aubrey never did anything without a damn good reason. The man lifted his head, beads of sweat dripping from his brow.

“I skimmed off my pick-ups.”

Oh. Stacie gave him a sympathetic look and patted the top of his head. “It’s going to hurt for a while, but the good news is you won’t make that mistake again.” Because she was pretty sure he was going to wind up dead. This was something she should have found horrifying but she felt strangely calm about because she knew there would be a perfectly valid reason. You didn’t steal from Aubrey Posen, and if you had the balls to try then you were risking your life and that was really on you.

She turned back to Aubrey, dismissing the man and any deeper thoughts about what went on in the back office. She knew how she felt with Aubrey, she felt safe despite the potential for so much violence. She felt safer here with Aubrey than she did in her own home. And all that dark, raw, energy so perfectly and tightly controlled took her breath away. Stacie took a few steps to Aubrey’s desk and leaned back against the edge, placing herself between Aubrey’s knees as the other woman was reclined in her office chair, watching her with open curiosity.

“So, dinner tonight, wanna eat out?” Stacie smirked at the flicker of surprise in Aubrey’s eyes at her obvious intent and stood to give the blonde a soft kiss to the corner of her mouth. “See you in a bit.”

Cynthia Rose gave a slow nod at Stacie’s comment, weighing it for truth. “If she hurts you…”

“She won’t. Aubrey doesn’t hurt people because she likes it C, its business. She doesn’t pretend to be the good guy but she isn’t the bad guy unless someone makes her be. I can live with that.” Stacie swallowed thickly, pausing as she was about to apply her fresh lipstick. She stared at her reflection in the mirror, dimly aware of Cynthia Rose standing behind her. “I love her.”

Her friend gave a solid nod and shrugged into an indigo blue tuxedo jacket with black lapel. “She damn well better love you back.”

“She does.” Stacie smiled and finished her lipstick before turning to help Cynthia Rose fix her bowtie. That was something she believed without hesitation and not just because Aubrey had said so for the first time the night before, she just knew that the other woman did, she felt it in her bones. “Hey, thanks for letting me host this thing at The Diamond Club. It’s kind of the perfect venue for a Monte Carlo themed event. It’s going to earn a lot of money for the shelter and that will help a lot of women in need. So, thank you.”

“I got’chu Stace. It’s a good cause and it makes me look like an upstanding member of the community.” Stacie smoothed out Cynthia Rose’s lapel and linked their arms so they could look at themselves in the mirror. “Damn. We look like we’re going to prom.”

It made her laugh and she nudged her best friend with a shoulder bump. “Yeah, a big gay prom.”

“Hnghh. I look fly as hell too. Hm. I might find me a wife tonight.”

Stacie rolled her eyes playfully and tugged her friend’s arm to lead them out the door. “Okay well look fly from the car, I don’t want to keep Aubrey waiting.”

Aubrey

Aubrey walked through the tables set out for the various games and nodded approvingly. “Get this table a bit more to the back and put the high roller Baccarat and Poker upstairs in VIP.” Cynthia Rose had given her carte blanche to organize exactly how the gaming went since she was the one supplying the set up and games. Happy nudged her elbow gently and jerked her curly head toward the entrance of the club.

The light from outside was blocked out partially as the figure strode toward them with an unmistakable cocky strut. Aubrey smirked and turned to face the woman as she finally made her way to them. “Detective Mitchell, here to gamble away your check for a good cause?��

The smaller woman looked around at the club and gave a slight nod as if she was seriously considering it. But they both knew she wouldn’t be there for more than a drink or two before crawling back into whatever hole she’d crawled out of to be there. “Maybe, lots of bored rich wives come to these things right?”

Aubrey snorted softly and gestured for Happy to take over ensuring everything went the way it was supposed to until Stacie got there. Her eyes landed on the briefcase in the Detective’s hand and she gestured toward the stairs that led to Cynthia Rose’s office. “I see you visited our friend.”

Beca followed her up and into the office, shutting the door behind them. “That guy is a fucking creep.” She put the briefcase on the desk and opened it before turning it to face Aubrey. “Also, he’s missing some teeth. You know anything about that?”

She didn’t say anything as she reached for the stacks of money to make sure it was all there. It hadn’t taken much to get Detective Mitchell to agree to blackmail Weston, she had a particular prejudice against the wealthy that Aubrey used to her benefit. Besides, she was a dirty cop that would do anything if the price was right. Aubrey counted out twenty five thousand dollars and tossed the stack lightly across the desktop. “That’s unfortunate news for him, I hope he doesn’t smile for photos.”

Beca dropped into the chair across from Aubrey and picked up the cash without bothering to count it. She trusted Aubrey not to cheat her and in turn Aubrey trusted Beca not to rat on their dealings. The cop tucked the stack of bills into the inner pocket of her leather jacket and crossed her arms over her chest, watching Aubrey with a calculating gaze.

“Hm. If I didn’t know better I would say someone knocked or pulled them out. Sounds like something someone might do to teach a guy a lesson. Especially if that guy owed that someone a lot of money.” It was getting too close to the truth for her to lie outright against. So Aubrey leaned back casually, adjusting the matching tie and vest set she wore. It wasn’t an admission but it wasn’t a denial either and Beca took it as a sign to continue. “Did you have me blackmail this guy just so you could loan him back his own money?”

The corner of her mouth quirked in a predatory smile but it faded quickly and she leaned forward, hands clasped in front of her on the desk. “If someone were doing that to our associate Mr. Whitman I suspect they would be doing it for a good reason. Don’t you?”

The brunette sat there a moment turning it over in her head. “I’ll tell you what I know. Weston Whitman is grade A piece of crap. I did my own research and he’s clean as a whistle on the surface, but there’s something wrong about him. Hookers go missing or turn up dead everywhere he goes, investors get squeamish whenever his name is mentioned, corporate higher ups start hiding behind walls of attorney’s whenever anyone asks about him.”

They were toeing a line just discussing it but Aubrey hadn’t yet said anything incriminating to substantiate what the Detective was saying. “I think that sounds about right for Mr. Whitman.”

“Jesus Christ Aubrey. This guy is a legitimate bad guy, I could have investigated this shit for real. What are we doing dicking around with shadow games like this? And please for the love of God, give me a better fucking excuse than you wanting to bang his wife like a Salvation Army drum.”

She could understand Detective Mitchell’s irritation, even if she was on the take, she was a good damn investigator and letting a bad guy get away from the law when there was a good case against him bothered her. Aubrey chose her words very carefully when she spoke.

“Let’s say you make this a case Detective. And just for the sake of argument he didn’t have enough money and lawyers to bury this whole thing before word gets out. Let’s say you manage to drag this figlio di puttana through the mud and shit where he belongs.” Aubrey stood and slid her hands into the pockets of her tuxedo trousers to keep from wanting to reach for a weapon in her anger at the very thought of Weston. “Who exactly do you think suffers the most for it? Him? You think his money can’t buy him some luxuries in prison? Who do you think the press is going to hunt and hound? Him all safe in his cell or…” Stacie.

She didn’t say it. She didn’t have to. Beca deflated a little and shook her head still upset even if she were resigned to accepting it. They both knew Stacie didn’t deserve the fallout of what would happen and there was a good chance that Weston would use his leverage over Stacie to save his own ass. And that was something she couldn’t allow to happen. So she did it her way, moving people like chess pieces until she could trap him in a corner with no one to turn to for help, no money to buy his way free, and no will left to try and fight.

“You have a fucked up sense of chivalry, you know that Posen?”

Aubrey moved to the cabinet that held Cynthia Rose’s well equipped bar and pulled out two small tumblers and a bottle of grappa so strong it would put hair on a man’s chest. She poured them each and drink and handed the Detective a glass. Beca took it and raised it with her.

“Salute.”

They clinked their glasses together and tipped them back. The harsh burn of the alcohol slid down her throat and she gave an involuntary shiver that would have had Detective Mitchell laughing at her if she hadn’t been choking on a cough herself. “Oh my God, poison. Holy shit is that turpentine?”

Aubrey started to answer but her phone vibrated against her ribs. She set the glass down and reached into her jacket pocket. Her lips pulled into a smile at the text from Stacie. A sudden rush of nerves made her pull at her cuffs and straighten her tie once more and she caught Beca watching her at it. “How do I look?”

“Like a woman in love.” Beca stood and lifted Aubrey’s hand to fix the cuff she had twisted around her wrist. They weren’t on the same side of the fence, not by a long shot. They were still cop and criminal, employer and employee even. But if Aubrey were being honest she counted on Beca in her life and thought of them as friends. It was a dangerous way to think given the business she was in but there was a certain amount of mutual trust built up over years of sometimes violent encounters. “Which is super gross by the way.”

Aubrey gave the shorter woman a mild glance but she could tell Beca didn’t really mean it by the almost wistful sigh she gave when she was done fixing the cuff. “Didn’t know you were such a romantic, Detective.”

Beca made a face and shrugged. “Honestly I’m not but...” She shrugged and Aubrey waited patiently for her to continue. “Seeing you happy like this, despite the shit we muck through every day, makes a girl wonder if maybe it could be worth it. You’re in love and as much as that weirds me out, I can’t help but think that might not be the worst thing in the world. One day.”

Aubrey chuckled softly and gestured to the office door. So Detective Mitchell low key wanted to find herself a heart to call home. If she hadn’t ever met Stacie she might have mocked that sentiment. Made a joke about Beca going soft for wanting to be loved and love in return. But it was different now, she was different now and it was apparently obvious to see. She locked the office behind her and tucked the key into her vest pocket, eyes already scanning for Stacie. When she finally found her, Aubrey almost missed a step and had to catch herself before she crashed into Beca. The other woman looked over her shoulder at Aubrey and snickered. “Smooth, Posen, real smooth.”

“You shut up.” Her eyes slid back to Stacie and she watched the easy sweet smile as she greeted a few patrons. It took Aubrey’s breath away and she chose to watch from the bottom of the stairs as Stacie maneuvered through the swiftly filling room. Her eyes trailed down Stacie’s long body, appreciating the way that dress looked on her. Almost as if she felt the weight of Aubrey’s gaze Stacie raised her head and turned unerringly toward her, flashing a perfect smile.

They were caught for a moment just staring at each other across the room. It was hard not to walk over and kiss Stacie in greeting but she managed to restrain herself. It was only obvious to the few people that knew them like Detective Mitchell and Cynthia Rose or Lilly and Happy, that they were there as a couple, for everyone else Aubrey was just another benefactor and contributor. No one really to take note of and certainly not more than a passing acquaintance to Stacie. But she knew and she had dressed the part, her vest, tie and pocket square matching Stacie’s dress perfectly. Aubrey smiled when Stacie realized that they complimented each other perfectly. Maybe she was going soft for the girl, a thing she swore she’d never do, but seeing that spark of happiness in Stacie’s eyes made it all worth it.

Stacie

“Thank you for coming, it was wonderful to see you again.” She smiled and shook hands with another guest, kissing his wife on each cheek as they parted. It felt like hours had passed and she’d barely gotten to see Aubrey. It had been a long nonstop stream of people all wanting to make small talk geared toward finding out her secrets and point out her flaws with polite smiles and condescending little laughs. She hated this part of it, the part where she had to interact with people that didn’t give a damn about anything real but always threw money at the first cause to cross their paths. People like her parents.

Not that her parents were terrible people, they weren’t, they were just too concerned about appearances to really make a change in anyone’s life. Their desire to help people was only as extensive as the amount of time it took to write a check. It was why she spent so much of her time and family inheritance trying to be better than that. Because the truth was they couldn’t even be bothered to help their own daughter out of a horrible situation and she never wanted another woman to know what it felt like to be trapped and alone in an unsafe relationship. Stacie took a deep breath before yet another person got between her and the bar where she’d last seen Aubrey. A warm hand landed lightly on the small of her back and she could feel the heat of it through the dress sinking into her skin.

“I was wondering where you’d gone.” Stacie leaned back slightly so that her body bumped against Aubrey’s and the tension melted away. She turned and smiled at the blonde, taking the time to appreciate the full effect of Aubrey’s tux and perfect smoky eye. It was sexy as hell and she had to resist the urge to run her hands down the other woman’s chest and over her ribs.

“I’ve been here with you the whole time.” Stacie reached out for Aubrey’s hand, wanting to do more than give it a squeeze. She wanted to do so much more but that would have to wait until later when they were at home together. “You want a drink?”

“Yes, please.” Aubrey smiled at her and Stacie’s heart skipped a beat. She was still lost in the memory of Aubrey’s smile moments later when another much heavier hand landed on her arm. The smile she wore faded instantly because she knew the too familiar touch as one of Weston’s friend’s from work. He was always pushy and always far too drunk and so far tonight had hit on her at least five times. The last time going so far as to squeeze her ass when no one was looking. She knew why he was so aggressive, was sure that he had seen certain movies of her, a thought that sickened her almost as much as the smell of his booze tainted breath.

“You’ve been giving me the dodge Stacie, c’mon, let me buy you a drink and take care of you since Wes isn’t around.”

She tried to carefully extricate herself from his grip but he held tighter, pulling her a little closer to his body. The smell of whiskey on his breath so strong she had to turn her head to get away from it. “You’re drunk Phillip, please let me go.” Her mother’s voice rose up in a frantic roar in her head. Don’t make a scene Anastacia, it is better to suffer in silence than endure a scandal! It was so hardwired into her brain that she caught herself trying to hide his rough grip on her so no one would know.

“I thought you liked it like this.” She had suspected of course, but having that confirmation made her stomach wind in knots. If one person knew then others could and would eventually find out. People would know about her, about what Weston did to her. Bile rose up in her throat and she elbowed him hard enough in the gut to get him to let go so she could get as far away as she could.

Stacie scanned for Aubrey and headed in her direction but a hard yank to her wrist pulled her to a short stop just feet from the bar. Aubrey turned just then, sensing more than seeing movement over her shoulder and green eyes narrowed in malice as she took in Stacie’s situation. Phillip pulled her over to a smaller table that had been pushed to the side to make room for the servers coming in and out with trays champagne and hors d’oeuvres. She didn’t recognize the two men sitting at the table but she didn’t have to know them personally to know what kind of person they were.

It was obvious from the sly smiles and complete and utter lack of concern for her wellbeing. They were like Phillip, and like Weston. The type of men that preyed on women because they were rich and powerful and had been born with a sense of entitlement bigger than their trust funds.

“I don’t think the lady wants your company.” Aubrey’s soft voice came out with the echo of a threat and Stacie shivered at the sound of it. Phillip let her go and she stepped out of his reach before he could think about grabbing her again. Aubrey gestured with a small wave at a server and gave the girl a fifty dollar bill as a tip. “Bring these gentlemen a round from the top shelf.” The girl nodded and hurried off away from the darkened corner to the full light of the bar and well away from the dangerous vibe in the air.

“Excuse me, I don’t mean to be rude but who the hell do you think you are?”

Aubrey raised a brow and turned her head to take Phillip in, judging him for threat level. When she didn’t find one worth worrying about she pushed forward and rested her hands on the table top. The nearest man, reached out to grab her but Aubrey was faster that he was and far more vicious. Her hand came up to the back of his head, slamming it into the table hard. The second man started to stand but Aubrey lashed out with a quick jab to his throat that buckled his knees and had him silently gasping for breath. In one smooth motion she pulled her gun from the small of her back and placed it on the table directly in front of Phillip with a heavy thunk. She thumbed back the hammer and leaned in so her eyes were level with his and Stacie was sure he had just peed on himself.

“No. Means. No. Are we clear?”

Stacie bit her lip when Phillip nodded a little too quickly in agreement. She held his gaze a moment more before she stood up and tucked the gun away as smoothly as she’d taken it out, the server none the wiser for the for the display. Aubrey turned to Stacie and gently stroked her fingers over the already fading red mark from Phillip. Her voice was low but so much softer than when she’d spoken to the man at the table.

“Hey, you okay?”

She could only nod, afraid of what might come out of her mouth right then. Aubrey gave her a slow nod then turned back to the table to pin them each with a hard look. “Enjoy your drinks gentlemen and get the fuck out of my house.”

All three of them got up without so much as glancing at the drinks, two of them helping the third to the closest exit. Like magic Lilly appeared at Aubrey’s side and the blonde gave her a short nod, watching as her right hand man disappeared back into the shadows to follow Phillip and his friends. She turned back to Stacie, eyes soft with apology but none of that was necessary for Stacie.

There were no words to express how she felt right then. Stacie stood there staring at Aubrey wanting and needing to be anywhere but there in front of so many people. Aubrey opened her mouth to apologize and Stacie pulled her in by her lapels for a quick and hungry kiss. She honestly didn’t care if anyone was watching or had noticed anything out of the ordinary at all. She couldn’t care less if every single one of them saw. Aubrey pulled back from the kiss in confusion her breath coming out in a fast pant.

“Wha…”

“We have to go right now.”

“Wher…”

Stacie took Aubrey’s hand and pulled her along the wall to the edge of the bar. She had to wait as several servers spilled out of the door to the back area before tugging Aubrey behind her to the delivery door at the back. It was too busy with the hustle of bodies and she pushed out into the cool evening with an exasperated sigh. She spotted the other woman’s black Escalade parked next to Cynthia Rose’s Mustang. She turned and slipped a hand into Aubrey’s pants, her fingers tracing the seam of the pocket as she dug for the key. The blonde’s hips jerked once before she found what she was looking for and clicked the lock open.

She couldn’t even feel herself take the steps to the car, only the feel of the cold metal and glass against her overheated back as Aubrey pushed her up against the side and kissed her as if she could devour her right there. Stacie struggled to open the door behind her, breaking away only long enough to lift her dress and scoot into the backseat. The other woman climbed in after her and Stacie reached for her tie, tugging her closer for another kiss. Her hands scrabbled to peel the jacket from Aubrey’s shoulders, needing to get closer than the layers of clothes between them would allow.

Aubrey’s short nails grazed over her hips as they tugged her panties down the progress stopped when the blonde encountered the thigh holster. She looked down at it then at Stacie with a raised brow. “That’s so hot….”

Their lips crashed together again and Stacie swore there wasn’t enough air in the car, maybe the universe even. Aubrey tossed her underwear over her shoulder and pulled Stacie onto her lap in a straddle. Fingers grazed along her heat and she bucked wildly needing more than the tease of foreplay. Oh God she had never needed anyone as badly as she needed Aubrey right in that moment. Her fingers worked with frenzied intensity as she pulled the tie loose from its knot and worked the buttons open on Aubrey’s shirt and vest enough to reach the lace of her bra and the soft creamy skin of her chest.

One hand reached out to brace against the window when Aubrey filled her and Stacie could only think that she’d never felt this much anything in all her years of living. This much desire, need or love. She had never felt this safe in such an out of control life. This was everything for her and Aubrey was everything to her. Stacie brought their lips together in another desperate kiss, her words barely a whisper against Aubrey’s soft lips.

“I’m so yours.”

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space--cadet-glow · 6 years ago

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Theory: The Odd Headcanons of Vaati, Part Fifty-six: Sing a Song of Six-Sins

There are a few songs I associate with Vaati in some fashion, whether they be for his character, for his mindset, for his story/plot, or for a mixture of all of the above. Just what songs are they?

Here is the list, which is way longer than I thought it would be (and most likely would be longer if I hadn't told myself to stop)...

1. "Primadonna" by Marina and the Diamonds 2. "Wrapped Around Your Finger" by The Police 3. "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" by The Charlie Daniels Band 4. "Too Much of Anything" by The Who 5. "Rabbit Heart (Raise it Up)" by Florence and the Machine 6. "Shampain" by Marina and the Diamonds 7. "Chains" by The Beatles 8. "The Air that I Breathe" by The Hollies 9. "I Don't Even Know Myself" by The Who 10. "Written on the Wind" by Roger Daltrey 11. "Walking on Air" by Kerli 12. "Oh No" by Marina and the Diamonds 13. "Almost Human" by Voltaire

Now, for WHY. 1. "Primadonna" by Marina and the Diamonds Quick story time. A storyboard-like thing/project I did all the way back in 2015 featured the very first time I ever drew Minish Vaati AND Hylian Vaati. And the song that that storyboard was set to was none other than "Primadonna" by Marina and the Diamonds. And the reason I did it was because the lyrics- like practically ALL of the songs on this list- fit Vaati's attitude quite well. That's why. Highlights include: "All I ever wanted was the world", "I can't help that I need it all", "I know I've got a big ego/I really don't know why it's such a big deal, though", "And I'm sad to the core, core, core", and this entire section: "Get what I want 'cuz I asked for it/But not because I'm really that deserving of it/Living life like I'm in a play/In the lime-light, I want to stay". ...Funnily enough, Vaati practically IS a spoiled primadonna. A "Primadonna Mage", as I called my storyboard, after all!

2. "Wrapped Around Your Finger" by The Police I've mentioned this technically twice. The first time extensively in Part Forty-seven of my "Irony of Vaati" theory series, where I dissected the song bit-by-bit because of how incredibly well it fit for Vaati- and the second time briefly in Part Fifty of this theory series. Essentially, the song reads like a literal retelling of "The Minish Cap" (even though the song came first), all the way down to odd, minute details like "shining band of gold" (which, for example, could be the brim to the Magic Hat or even the Light Force, etc). Highlights include: THE ENTIRE DARN THING. LITERALLY. Especially: "You consider me the young apprentice", "I have only come here seeking knowledge", "I will listen hard to your tuition/You will see it come to its fruition", "Devil and the deep blue sea behind me/Vanish in the air, you'll never find me", and the most eerie of them all: "I will turn your face to alabaster/When you'll find your servant is your master". ...I tried to storyboard this one, but never got it finished. And I still like to think that there was a Police fan in either Nintendo or Capcom's offices.

3. "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" by The Charlie Daniels Band ...I can explain. Remember Part Two of this theory series, in which I pointed out my headcanon that Vaati played the fiddle? BLAME THIS SONG. And my tendency to storyboard the oddest things. Really, the only way this matches is for the fact that Vaati transfigures himself into a demon- a stand-in for the Devil here. That and the arrogant nature of the Devil's portion of the song. Highlights include: " 'Cuz I think I'm better than you", "I'll start this show", and unfortunately for Vaati, "The Devil bowed his head because he knew that he'd been beat". And I even put "Minish Cap" Link as a stand-in for Johnny! Gee, what is wrong with me?

4. "Too Much of Anything" by The Who Another one of my (completed) storyboarded ideas. For Vaati over-exerting himself and ending up further ostracising himself from everybody else by metaphysically becoming 'better' than them (via the Magic Hat and later, the Light Force, that is). Highlights include: "I think these eyes have seen a lot/I don't know, maybe they've seen too much", "Hmm, there's something in the air", and "I think your ears hear a whole lot of music/And like me, they've heard a bit too much". Sort of along the lines of, he let his bad thoughts lead him too far down the wrong path and he just kept going along with it because he had managed to convince himself that being evil was what he truly wanted. Poor Vaati.

5. "Rabbit Heart (Raise it Up)" by Florence and the Machine You can blame my 12th Grade Environmental Science teacher- of all people- for this one. He was the one who introduced me to this song in the first place! Basically, this is because Minish Vaati was a coward/"meek, miniscule nothing"- he had a "rabbit heart" and needed to gain a "lion heart" (ie, become Hylian Vaati and so-forth). Highlights include: "You made a deal and now it seems you have to offer up/But will it ever be enough?", "It seems I've made the final sacrifice", "This is a gift, it comes with a price", and "And in the spring, I shed my skin/And it blows away with the changing winds". ...And I also tried storyboarding this one, too. Never finished it, though.

6. "Shampain" by Marina and the Diamonds ...Most of these are my storyboard projects, actually. This is the one I'm currently working on. There's not much that matches here, but this is for the fact that the song treats the champagne as something to hold up a "false pretense", just as Minish Vaati had to hold up the "false pretense" of being Hylian. Highlights include: " 'Cuz I remember, the way, the way, the way/It ended the day, the day, the day, the day/That I walked away, away, away, away", "I feel celestial", and especially: "Savour the taste of fabricated wealth". Since every form of Vaati's that wasn't a Minish was "fabricated". And each bigger and 'better' form was more worthy/"wealthy" than the last. The "mask" theme I keep mentioning.

7. "Chains" by The Beatles This one is quite silly. The chains are metaphorical. 'Chains' for the (quite possibly) holding-back that Ezlo had (his grip) on Minish Vaati ("I'll be wrapped around your finger" from earlier, anybody?). 'Chains' for all of the lies Vaati told himself that led him to change his form. And even 'chains' for his various imprisonments within the Four Sword. Highlights include: "Chains, my baby's got me locked up in chains/And they ain't the kind that you can see", my favourite: "Can't run around 'cuz I'm not free"; and (simply) "But I can't break away from all of these chains". He did this all to himself, as I've said before.

8. "The Air that I Breathe" by The Hollies ...To the point that I imagined this song being the ending credits to imaginary 'movie' versions of my stupid Fanfictions. Yes, I'm serious. First, there's the connection to "air" again- perfect for a Wind Mage. And the whole 'wishing' aspect as a whole- wishing to bring "peace". It wasn't the correct type of "peace", but it was "peace" to the mentally-dubious Vaati! ...The lyrics explain it better than I could. What am I saying? Highlights include: "If I could make a wish", "What more could I ask?/There's nothing left to be desired", and "All I need is the air that I breathe". So sleep, Vaati. You need it.

9. "I Don't Even Know Myself" by The Who Another unfinished storyboard! Lucky me! This is for a symbolic reason: Vaati doesn't know himself because (despite retaining his mind), he's changed his outward appearance so drastically that he's basically unrecognisable as "Vaati" anymore. He's lost his way. Exorbitant a semita. Highlights include: "There's nothing in the words I speak that can betray anything I'm knowing", "Don't think about the way I dress", "Don't pretend that you know me 'cuz I don't even know myself", "The police just came and left/They wanted me and no-one else", particularly: "Do you remember me?/I don't remember you/Do you still love me?/You know I think you do", and even the silly, "Come on, all of you big boys/Come on, all of you elves". ..."The police" being Link and Ezlo, I would imagine. And "big boys" being the Hylians and the "elves" being the Minish. I'm reading way too deeply into this.

10. "Written on the Wind" by Roger Daltrey "Wind" is in the title. Need I say more? ...Yes. Basically, this is for Vaati's mindset (and story) again. The Wind is his destiny- to be changed; redirected. But instead of LETTING the Wind warp him, he tried to change his own destiny by CONTROLLING said Wind. Highlights include: "I realise my mistake", "Especially through me and you, it can be stormy", "Rise, fall/Great, small", "Your name's written on the wind", and finally, "And 'no' to you is not enough for you to give in". Like, he tried to convince Ezlo of something that would benefit HIM (Vaati) and failed. Or something along those lines. And no matter how "great" Vaati became, he still wanted more- he still probably felt quite "small" ("And I'm sad to the core, core, core", from earlier, naturally).

11. "Walking on Air" by Kerli For the manipulation of the Element of Wind, and for the mere fact that the song has a hint of "mental" troubles. And by that I mean, it's a warped mindset that led Vaati to do everything he did, just as the girl in the song planned to "set (her) world on fire". If she was "strong enough..." JUST LIKE THAT "MEEK, MINISCULE NOTHING" Minish Vaati! Highlights include: "Saying funny things you have never heard", "Are you brave enough to figure out?", "Know that you could set your world on fire/If you are strong enough to leave your doubts", "Feel it, breathe it, believe it/And you'll be walking on air", "A creepy little bat", "An old blue hat", and "No-one ever thought she could do that". ...This makes Vaati sound like a freaky pyromaniac, and judging by how Vaati Reborn literally had fire sleeves, I can't quite deny that accusation. And the "old blue hat" (to me, at least) is the Magic Hat, if that wasn't obvious.

12. "Oh No" by Marina and the Diamonds Random fun fact: this was the first MATD song I ever heard. You can blame a video about Vriska Serket for that one. This is for Vaati's misadventures as a whole: it was one big, downward spiral of, "Fantastic! I'm a Hylian now! Wait, what do you mean the Light Force isn't here? Never mind- here it is. ...When did I get imprisoned in a sword?". Highlights include: "Don't do love, don't do friends/I'm only after success", "I'll never soften my grip", "Want it fast, want it hard", "I just wanna change", "I know exactly what I want and who I want to be", "I'm now becoming my own self-fulfilled prophecy", "If I fail, I'll fall apart", " 'Cuz I feel like I'm the worst/So I'll always act like I'm the best", and particularly, "If you are not very careful/Your possessions will possess you"; then "Real life has no appeal". Vaati let his ego get to his head, indeed! His head got to his head, if you will. ...What. Either way, Vaati was left alone to tend to his twisted fantasies, his own perfect world where he reigned supreme. Oh, if only.

13. "Almost Human" by Voltaire Yup. The final one. And one of the most heartbreaking, simply because it works for everything: the thoughts, the adventure, AND the symbolism. No matter what Vaati does, he will NEVER fully be a human, nor a demon. All because he started off a Minish, and that's what he still is. He's a FAKE. Highlights include: "Is it really such a crime/For an angel to speak his mind?", "I'll have to close my eyes and picture what it's like", "Despised by they", "I'm almost me", "Pity me, I'm almost a human being", "I still remember your light/And it was streaming down/And burning out my eyes", and tragically: "These tears are real/I'm jealousy/I'm spite and hate/To the core, I'm mean". "Despised by they"; being the Minish and later the Hylians as well. Even though Vaati believed himself to be better than everyone, the "pity me" part hearkens back to his origins as that itty-bitty, displeased Minish. It was Minish Vaati who started everything, by desiring nonsense- desiring MORE. ...Heck, even "If I Had a Heart" by Fever Ray would work in that context! ("More, give me more, give me more"). He was never satisfied.

There's so many songs that fit Vaati, sometimes in more ways than one. Vaati's such a melancholic character that it's distressing how many depressing songs match up with him. Oh, if he hadn't been so messed-up, just what would it have taken to make him happy? Plausibly the exact same thing, unfortunately...

..."High achiever, don't you see? Baby, nothing comes for free..."

#the bard of light rants #vaati #minish cap #the minish cap #the legend of zelda #theory series the odd headcanons of vaati #the bard of light schedules #oh my god my hands are gonna fall off #why did I do this

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thatthingcalledfate-phff · 7 years ago

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Chapter 11

Destruction and Comfort

It’s always amazing how time flies. How seconds can turn into minutes, minutes can turn into hours, hours into days, days into weeks- we can go on and on and on. But one thing is for sure, pain lingers longer than happiness.

Isabella Clarke stared at her diploma hanging in her office; her pen tapping on her table. It had been weeks since she last talked to Harry and she misses him. Although she’s thankful that Harry is giving her space, she’s still torn. She’s hurt, she’s angry, and she feels betrayed. She wanted to forgive Harry, she really do but her whole being rejects the thought of being near him.

The doctor sighed and placed her pen on top of her table.

“Doctor Clarke?”

“Yes, Kath?” Bella asked closing her files and quickly placing it to the side before grabbing a new one not bothering to look up. “Do we have an emergency?”

“Uhh. No.” Kath answered and Bella finally looked up at her. “Abigail Simons is here.” The assistant said and Bella nodded.

Not even a minute passed and Abigail barged into Bella’s office looking like a woman on a mission. “Have you read the papers?” she asked and Bella shook her head making Abi roll her eyes before placing The Sun on top of Bella’s table.

Bella only glanced at the front page picture and asked, “Yeah. And?”

“Harry and Meghan? Meghan being here in London?” Abi asked incredulously and Bella shrugged. “Seriously, Clarke. What’s up?”

“Nothing.” Bella lied still not telling anyone else that she and Harry had broken up. “It was bound to happen. They’re both humanitarians.” She mumbled feeling ill at the mere thought of Harry and Meghan together.

“And you’re not one for bullshits.” Abi retorted making Bella glare up at her. “Isabella, my dear Isabella. Did you two break up?”

Bella sighed, “If you call it that.”

Abi stared at her friend for a few seconds before sighing as well, “Are you ok?” she asked and Bella shrugged. “Seriously, Isabella.”

“I am serious.”

“We both know shrugging is not an answer.”

“Yes, it is.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“Fuck off.” Abi snapped irritated making Bella smile. “I am glad you see the amusement in this. You’re such a difficult human being.” She continued receiving no answer from Bella. “You’re lucky I’m older than you.”

“How is that even luck?” Bella asked inquiringly yet reluctantly as she can already sense the incoming unwarranted suggestion Abi has. “I can’t do anything reckless right now, Abi. Harry and I are trying to keep the whole break a secret.”

Abi rolled her eyes. Typical, Isabella. She thought before smiling at the doctor before her. “It’s a private party. Hosted by Ginny.”

“Genevieve Williamson?”

“Do you know any other Ginny?” Abi asked arching an eyebrow and Bella shook her head. “She has this party tonight and you’re going.”

Scoffing, Bella thought of how her mother never really liked Genevieve Williamson. “Mom doesn’t like Ginny.” She said and Abi nodded, knowing it fully.

Ginny brings out the worst in Isabella Clarke; she’s loud, she’s reckless, she’s careless, and she doesn’t have a care in the world. For Ginny, the world is her oyster and Isabella Clarke is one of her projects. Ginny thinks that Isabella Clarke is one of those goody goody friends Abigail Simons, her cousin, has and she believes that she’s doing everyone a favor by getting Isabella off her hinges- in ways Georgia Clarke is not fond of.

But still, that night, Bella stood in front of her mirror dressed in the mini black dressed she had used one too many times. Her mother, who’s still unaware of her plans for the night, watching her curiously from behind. “You use that dress too much.” Georgia Clarke commented making Bella nod in agreement. “Where are you and Abi going?”

Even though she’s at the right age, Isabella doesn’t mind being asked her whereabouts like a teenager as long as her parents do not prevent her on doing things she wants to do. “A party.” She replied unsure if it’s a right thing to tell her mother that Ginny is involved.

Before Georgia Clarke can respond, the doorbell rang. “Well, I have the files I asked for.” Georgia said raising the folder in her hand and Bella nodded. “I’ll get the door for you.”

“Nah. I’m ready anyway.” Bella said following her mother out her bedroom and down the stairs to her front door.

“Ah. Greetings, Georgia!” Ginny Williamson, the fiery redhead, greeted Bella’s shocked mother as she passed by Georgia while Abi greeted Georgia in a more respectful way. “What are you wearing?” the redhead asked giving Bella’s outfit a disgusted look. “You’re not wearing that. Good thing I am your fairy Godmother, little bitch.”

Bella can see her mother give her an exasperated look as Ginny took an outfit off her bag before throwing it towards Isabella. “What’s this?” Bella asked looking at the bra Ginny threw at her. “Should I wear this under a shirt?”

Abi laughed while Ginny gave Bella a scowl. “Seriously, little bitch?”

In the corner of her eye, Bella saw her mother walk towards her kitchen obviously not leaving anytime soon and so Bella went up towards her bedroom to change clothes closely followed by the two cousins. “Is this even clothes?” Bella asked as she looked at herself in the mirror and tried adjusting her top that’s showing too much cleavage. “My boobs are going to show if I even-“

“They won’t.” Ginny remarked picking up a picture of Bella and Harry that’s laying on top of Bella’s nightstand. “Is Harry’s dick huge?”

And Bella choked on her own spit.

Bella made sure that she’s properly covered with her coat before she went down to leave and she made sure to sit at the back of Ginny’s car instead of the front. She is strapping herself when her mother appeared and knocked softly on the window. “Be careful, alright?” she said looking pointedly at Bella who gave her a comforting look in return.

“Oh don’t worry, Georgia.” Ginny cut off as Bella opened her mouth to say something. “I’ll make sure she’s smiling in her mugshot.”

When they arrived at the party, Abi quickly disappeared towards a crowd Bella does not know while Ginny took liberty into dragging the doctor to the bar. “Yo, Jose.” Ginny called the bartender who went over and smiled hugely at Ginny. “I want her drunk by the end of the night, got it?”

And without asking, Jose lay out four shots of tequila in front of Ginny and Bella.

“Don’t worry. All phones are confiscated at the entrance.” Ginny said with a funny face as she swallowed one shot expertly. “I had to make sure our little bitch having fun is not released to the press.”

Shocked at the sensitiveness of the redhead, Bella looked at Ginny with wide eyes. “They didn’t take my phone.”

And Ginny laughed at the doctor like she’s some idiot. “Of course, you fucking idiot. You’re obviously not going to leak anything. I suppose you’re safe with- well- you.” She said before sliding a shot towards Bella. “Come on. It’s not going to drink itself.”

Henry Cavill had just gotten home in his flat in South Kensington when his phone started ringing. Placing his backpack on his couch, he checked his phone to see the name Doctor Isabella Clarke flashing on his screen. He furrowed his eyebrows. It’s two in the morning. He thought before answering. “Hello?”

“Hello?!”

He can hear the loud music on Bella’s background, the people cheering, the people laughing, talking and the very unfamiliar voice using Bella’s phone. “Who’s this?” he asked confused.

“Isn’t this Henry? “ The woman asked and Henry thoroughly considered hanging up afraid that someone had taken Bella’s phone and is scooping up gossip. “Isabella’s princey boyfriend?”

“Uhhh- n-“

“You bloody need to pick up your girlfriend.” The voice cut him off and Henry furrowed his eyebrows while the woman laughed and said, “Bloody hell, Clarke.”

“Where is she?” Henry asked deciding to play along and the woman gave him an address not far from his.

When he arrived at the address, the guard at the front gave him a confused look but let him in. He looked around trying to find the familiar face of Isabella Clarke among the drunken ones surrounding him and as he swam through the crowd, he bumped into the very familiar Abigail Simons who has a boy in her arms. “Henry!” she giggled drunkenly and Henry quickly gripped her arm to steady her. “You were invited?”

“Where’s Bella?” he asked not answering Abi’s question.

Abi, being drunk, forgot her question and pointed towards the bar where Isabella Clarke is dancing with a blonde woman on top of a table. He quickly walked towards the bar and stood beside it- the man he pushed away yelling but not fighting back. “Isabella!” he yelled over the noise and commotion but Bella didn’t hear him. “Bella!” he tried again.

It is obvious that Isabella Clarke is drunk out of her wits and so he sighed and caught one of her hand before pulling her down and straight into his arms- a hoard of men protesting at the sudden interruption. “What are you thinking?” he hissed as Bella giggled on his arms.

“Hey! Hey you!” someone yelled and Henry looked back to see a redhead walk towards them with a coat in her hands. “You’re not princey.” She said furrowing her eyebrows and stopping in front of Henry. “Fuck.”

“I’ll get her to him.” Henry said and the redhead nodded, obviously not recognizing who Henry is.

“Give her to your boss.” She said and Henry realized that she thinks that he’s one of Prince Harry’s guards. “And tell him that I like his taste in guards.”

Henry, anxious and terribly scared of being seen with a very drunk Isabella Clarke, thanked the heavens as he closed his passenger door unseen. “Oh you’re so much trouble.” He grumbled getting in at the drivers seat and pulling on Bella’s seatbelt and locking it. “I don’t even know where you live.” He said but he stopped, his breath slowing when he realized how close his face is to the doctor’s. He gulped as he licked his bottom lip, his heart thudding inside his chest.

“Don’t be silly. She’s a package you deliver to the rightful owner.” He mumbled to himself but he remained a few seconds longer staring at her face.

Henry Cavill then searched for Isabella’s phone on her coat in hopes of giving Prince Harry a call but soon realized that Bella’s phone is nowhere to be found. He groaned and decided to just go the hell with it and drove towards Kensington Palace. He stopped by the guard who obviously recognize him by the look of his astonished face.

“Good evening, sir. Do you have any schedule?” the guard asked not noticing Bella on the passenger seat.

“Uhh. I had been asked to bring her to him.” Henry simply said and the guard looked further into the car.

The guard, realizing who’s on the passenger seat, stepped back before walking back to his post and ringing Troy Hammond, Prince Harry’s assistant. “Someone’s here for His Royal Highness.”

Troy Hammond is sitting just outside Prince Harry’s dining room where the prince and a few of his friends are having dinner- or drinks. He sighed as his work phone rang and Peter Bleu’s name flashed on the screen. “Yes, Peter?”

“Someone’s here for His Royal Highness.” Peter Bleu, the guard on duty, said and Troy furrowed his eyebrows. “Henry Cavill with Miss Isabella Clarke.”

“Oh.” Troy said in realization before his eyes travelled towards the door of the dining hall. Surely, Prince Harry knows about this. He thought before saying, “Sure. Let them in.”

Henry Cavill drummed his hands on the steering wheel, glancing a few times towards Isabella Clarke’s direction, before the guard finally went back to him. “You’re free to go in. Turn left on the first corner and straight ahead.” The guard said and Henry nodded mumbling a thanks.

As Henry arrived at what seems to be Harry’s apartments, he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “That’s odd.” He mumbled as he realized that there’s actually an on-going party at Prince Harry’s apartments due to the numerous cars parked. He stopped the car by the front of Harry’s door before lightly shaking Bella awake. “Bella.”

Isabella Clarke groaned as she felt herself get slightly sober- the alcohol she had consumed just an hour ago already taking its effect in her head. “Hey. Wake up.” She heard a familiar man’s voice said and she peeked her eyes and saw Henry looking back at her with furrowed eyebrows. “You ok?”

Feeling thoroughly confused, Bella tried to sit up properly with her hand to her head as she looked around their environment outside through the window. “Where are we?” she slurred, her voice rough, not realizing where she is before looking at Henry Cavill once again. “This is not my house.”

“I’m aware.” He responded nodding. “This is your boyfriend’s house.”

Realizing where she is, Bella’s eyes widened and her head whipped towards her window once again- the sudden movement making her feel much sicker than she was a few moments ago. “I feel sick.” She groaned clutching her head. “We can’t be here.”

Henry furrowed his eyebrows, taken aback, “Why not?”

“Just.. We should go.”

But just as Henry shifted his gear to drive, he saw the front door open and Prince Harry practically stumble out the door, clearly inebriated as well but the woman that appeared behind him and wrap her arms around him made Henry’s and Bella’s breath hitch.

There, coming out of his front door, is Prince Harry with Meghan Markle.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding.” Henry mumbled after he regained his composure and closed his gaping mouth.

“Just drive. Please.”

As Henry started driving, Bella’s eyes connected with Harry’s. She looked away, not wanting him to see her tears anymore.

Henry quickly drove out of Kensington Palace; the air inside his car is thick and he doesn’t know what to say. Here is Isabella Clarke, drunk out of her wits, while her supposed boyfriend partied it up with his ex- the one he ran a wedding from. His mouth is in a thin line. One wrong word and Isabella might probably break and so he continued to drive around quietly.

“Can you please stop a moment?” Bella asked gulping. “Please. I’m going to be sick.”

And he did. As soon as he had parallel parked on a street just behind Westminster, Bella jumped out of his car and threw up on the bin just by the lawn. After she’s finished, Henry watched as she sat on the grass and started sobbing. She couldn’t talk. She couldn’t put into words how she felt nor could she even form a coherent thought.

Henry watched as she broke down. Even though he doesn’t know the truth between Bella and the prince, he felt like Bella is in a much deeper pain. He went over to the doctor and helped her back into the car before anyone else can see her before driving off. “Where do you want to go? Do you want to go home?” he asked the doctor who only shook her head back at him.

“I can’t be at home. I can’t take it. Everywhere just..” she trailed off. Every place reminds her of Harry and it breaks her more. “Just take me to yours.”

He glanced at her briefly before nodding. No. He’s not going to take advantage of her situation. He couldn’t do it- he respects her too much. Truthfully, Henry could not understand how he felt towards the doctor. It was a mere crush or attraction as he would classify it usually but ever since the Centennial Ball, the doctor had been on his mind more often and it didn’t bother him. He liked her. Her poise and elegance through every shit thrown at her is something that made her more appealing to the actor.

And he respects her more than anyone he knew outside his family.

“You can sleep here.. I’ll be in the living room.” He said after Bella had gone out of his shower dressed in his shirt and pajamas. She lay on his bed just staring at the ceiling. “If you need anything-“

“-can you stay here?” she asked cutting him off. “I don’t want to be alone.”

And he obliged. He couldn’t say no to her. He lay down beside her, a foot apart from each other in his king sized bed. Suddenly, he felt her shift closer to him, her arms snaking around his waist and so he let her rest her head on his shoulders. It was seconds before he felt her shaking- her small frame shook violently before her sobs came out.

“It’s ok..” he whispered pulling her closer and she reacted by gripping his shirt. “I am right here.”

#royalfanficcentral #Prince Harry #prince harry fanfiction #fanfiction

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sparklyeaglepoetry-blog · 7 years ago

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Differences between re insurance and co insurance?

"Differences between re insurance and co insurance?

can anyone please help me with atleast 6 differences between re insurance and co insurance,and the merits and demerits of re insurance..pleasee

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How much a motor scooter for a girl (going to c cost in Australia? How much it cost for registration and insurance? What are other costs incured ?

""Car insurance for 2 people, is it cheaper to insure 2 seperate cars or 1 ?""

So 1 car each, or one between 2 people..... which one would generally be cheaper ?""

How much would these cars cost to run per month?

renault clio 1.2... citron Saxo.... corsa (old) including tax , m.o.t and insurance and watever you have to pay for :) x""

Differences between re insurance and co insurance?

can anyone please help me with atleast 6 differences between re insurance and co insurance,and the merits and demerits of re insurance..pleasee

Car insurance for an 18 year old?

When I turn 18 I'll most likely be getting a car. I'm living in NJ and just want to know how high the insurance would be. Also, would previous driving experience help? Like I drive a moped, I don't think it would do much, but would the insurance go down, even a dollar? I'd just like to know.""

How to get young drivers car insurance down?!... HELP :(?

Hey, Im 19 and passed my test in july. Ive finally saved up enough to buy my first car and im looking at buying something around 1000-2000. Only thing im struggling with now is finding affordable car insurance. The cheapest ive been quoted is 2,500 a year, but im hoping to get it cheaper! Anyone any tips on how to get it down? .. would it work out cheaper if i went on my mums policy when she renews it later this month or would that not make any difference. Arggh this is so stressful!""

Who insures the insurance companies?

Just out of curiosity who insures the insurance companies? Do they insure themselves? If so, due to all the bureaucratic BS do they have to pay a deductible to themselves? Or are they insured by other companies? Is it just one big circle? For example: Company X's building gets destroyed by a tornado, do they pay for everything or are they insured by Company Y.""

Is it possible to cancel my car insurance?

I am a new driver and I have to pay around $135 a month. I am a guy by the way so this may be why it is so high. I have a job, but it's part time and doesn't pay well. I don't plan on driving the car often, just to school and work only 2-3 days a week and taking the bus the other days. I also do not plan on driving in the winter months. Is it possible to cancel my insurance while keeping my license from Dec. to March? My policy is under my parents and we have an extra car that just sits in the garage and it's the one I drive. Also, the insurance people said I could wait until January to lower my insurance rate to $110. I like the idea, but I don't want to wait hehe. Can I cancel my insurance then return to it a couple months later?""

Cheap car to insure at 17years old?

Hi, I was wondering if someone could help me. Ok, When I'm 17 I'm intending getting a car straight away and putting it onto my dads name. (he has been driving over 30years so it should be cheaper atleast a few hundred - his is like 300 per 6month's driving a 1.8 litre Ford Focus) Anyways - I have enough money to get my driving lessons completely paid for and passed (ofcourse as I was promised for it to be paid) and I have a few thousand left in the bank Anyways - I was wondering if someone could recommend a car for me. I'm into like these kind of cars: Vauxhall Corsa Vauxhall Vectra (the 05 type) Vauxhall Astra (the new kind of hatchback (05 again I think) Ford Mondeo 2001 Ford Fiesta (I love those modified but not for a first car!) Fiat Punto 2005 Seat Ibiza I know nearly everyone will be saying the Corsa is the least to insure of which I know it is (Insurance group 1 I think) but.. Its just not my sort of car for my first car but I would like to have it later in life. I'm 15 the Now (16 in March) and my dads covered with E-Sure. What car would be best to insure (In order)""

""I am turning 16 soon and I am a guy, What is a car that is sporty, but is safe and has low insurance?""

I need help selecting a car... I want a car that is sporty, has low insurance, and safe and very reliable with good MPG""

""I only pay car insurance, what should my credit score be?""

I have car insurance in my name (I haven't been late on a payment yet), this is the first and only thing I make payments on. What should my credit score be? Also what are small things I can do to bring it up?""

Car Insurance and Tornadoes?

Just curious since I live in the heart of tornado alley in Southern Kansas... Say if my car was at home or at a store or other place of business and a tornado destroyed or damaged my car, will my insurance cover the damage? Full coverage.""

""If I report an auto insurance claim under my comprehensive, does it count against me?

Not sure whether to report an damage to my vehicle. I estimate the cost to be about $ 500.00 +. My deductable is $ 500.00. Any info will help :)

Do I need SR22 insurance after a DWI 1st offense if my license is not suspended in the state of Louisiana?

About a year ago, I received my first DWI. I plead guilty under Article 894, and then about 3-4 months later, I contacted the DMV here in Louisiana, and they stated my license has not been suspended, and never was. Now, I am trying to get insurance on my truck I just bought, and the insurance company is telling me i have to get SR22 insurance. I thought SR22 insurance was needed when either your license was suspended previously, or you were forced to get a hardship license? I have never had to do either, and I don't understand why they are requesting me to get the SR22 insurance. The rates are already high enough with the DWI on my record, and the SR22 will be adding a good bit more. Just curious if someone can explain this to me about Louisiana and insurance which is required of me. I do still have a valid Class A CDL, not suspended, and never had to get a hardship license.""

How much money would it cost to get car insurance im 18?

my grandmother is wanting to add me onto her insurance and let me drive her car, how much is it going to cost she has nationwide and the car is a 2001 honda accord lx sedan 4 cylinder i also never had a permit and im just going to get my license after i get my insurance, im white and a guy. Thanks for the help its much appreciated.""

""How much does car insurance usually cost for a 17 year old in Ontario, Canada?

a 17 year old brand new driver (Girl) owning her first car? (a pontiac sunfire) IN CANADA !! NOT THE US

Do you have to pay for insurance when you start a driving job?

A staffing agency is requiring me to pay a $150 refundable deductible before I start the job, does this sound legit?""

Does a Seat Belt Ticket in California increase insurance?

If I have to report a seat belt ticket to insurance, because i am using traffic school for a stop sign ticket, How much will my insurance go up by. I am 17 and I have ameriprise insurance for my car. PLease help also if i will not have a car or drive in college should i just lose my insurance or keep it for 4 years with a perfect record.""

Car insurance and moving?

I'm going to buy a car soon, And then move pretty much right after that...It would be a good idea to get the insurance and plates and stuff before I go, obviously, but what will need to be done once I move? I heard that as long as I live in my parent's house, the insurance would be cheaper, well, I'd be moving out...so I have no idea how to get everything straightened around.""

Estimate how much will car insurance cost me?

Im 16 and will be getting my license soon. I was thinking about buying a 1998-2002 pontiac trans am V8. Im a male driver. About how much will it cost me for full coverage or liability(spell check)

Whats the cheapest car insurance for a 16 y/o boy?

I'm getting my liscense soon and we have allstate and its expensive as hell! I live in texas and i dont plan on buying a sports car so how much would my insurance be you think and where should i go for cheap insurance?

Whats a good price for auto insurance?

I'm a part-time employee that makes about 210-250$ a week. I drive about 50 mi. 4-5 days a week. I am trying to pay for tuition (3000 a quarter) and a cell phone bill as well (100 a month). I just want a rough estimate on what I should need. When I talk to a representative I feel like he wants to get the most out of me. When I try to pick out a quote myself, I tend to think of the worst cast scenario and opt for the better plans. My plans always come-out to be 220 a month. Is that high or just right? I just need a little guidance by my peers or by older folks that have been down this road before. Thank you very much.""

Car insurance question?

My mom finaced a car for me in Montana its in her name but i pay the car payment. I live in Colorado. even though she has car insurance already on the car in her name... can i get full coverage in Colorado in my name? so say fro example if i crash it The car will still be covered. is that against the law? please help. thanks

Insurance on a moped (under 50cc)?

i am interested in buying a 50cc or less moped, geared or not geared, it doesnt honestly matter. but i dont have a clue how much the insurance for it could be. could anyone give me a rough estimation of the cost of insurance of this moped, as i am 16. can anyone help?""

Will I get any insurance money?

Today I was driving down the road and a shelf blew off the back of a truck in the opposite lane and hit the SUV behind it then it came into my side of the road and put two holes in my hood. The truck drove off but the lady in the SUV gave me her number and tried to find the truck but couldn't (after checking on me she went looking for it). The only problem is I only have the minimum for car insurance so i don't know if I will get any insurance money to help pay for the damage. Thanks for the help!

What exactly is broad form coverage for car insurance?

my insurance ran out. i dont really need a full coverage on car insurance since my car is old. I have a lifetime medical insurance. Im a pretty confident driver.

Is this too high for heath insurance or is this how they all are?

I pay 130/month for health insurance through Humana for 1 adult and 2 children, full coverage. I usually have to pay a $20 copay for minor doctor visits. Recently I found out Humana is going to start charging an extra $20/week so it will be $150/week, so about $500-600/month, which is a little more than our mortgage payment. We pay less in groceries every week than the amount it costs us to pay for this insurance and we rarely visit the doctor, maybe twice a year, and the amount that is charged hardly adds up to the amount paid throughout the whole year. It's really ridiculous, in my opinion. I get this insurance through my work. I only have the option to cancel or change things about the insurance twice a year and the time has come up. So I am considering canceling and looking elsewhere for health insurance, or just paying out of pocket because if I cancel that's an extra 150 bucks in the bank. I will still keep my vision and dental. Is this a good idea to cancel? Pros. vs. Cons.? Are there any better health insurance companies I could go with that would charge less in the state of Ohio? Honestly I am considering applying for medicaid because we are struggling. We are behind in several medical bills that the insurance wouldn't cover and they are less than what the insurance company charges us monthly, yet because all our money is spent on the insurance, we can't pay for the actual bills - what's the point in the insurance? Enlighten me someone? I was told once that the two biggest crooks are lawyers and insurance companies and I'm starting to see why.""

Should I pay my employer to get my insurance license in FL?

Should I pay my employer to get my insurance license in FL? I was recently hired at trajan insurance as a financial professional. They want me to pay $580 to get my insurance license before I even start. The company sells insurance and other financial options to consumers. They werent clear on my pay scale either. The office is located in Tampa, Fl.. Does anyone know anything about this? Please help in anyway you can. thank you""

What is the best insurance plan for Abilify?

I'm an 18 year old smoker, female. I need to get on an insurance plan that's not too expensive. Which is the best?""

Differences between re insurance and co insurance?

can anyone please help me with atleast 6 differences between re insurance and co insurance,and the merits and demerits of re insurance..pleasee

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/auto-insurance-quotes-shelbyville-ky-nora-ellington/"

0 notes

agent-7-at-your-service · 7 years ago

Text

Future Plot: Syer’s Rebellion - Chapter 11 (Part 1)

((Sandra, Pyrrhus, Telemachus Kitzeh, James and Market Splatoon, and President Howe belongs to me

Camille belongs to @inklingleesquidly

Nebula belongs to @agenttwo and @myzzy

Marina and Wish belong to @inklingleesquidly@agenttwo and @myzzy; designs are made by @teamuntyblue / @ryan-sign-guy

Vix belongs to @teamuntyblue / @ryan-sign-guy

Beaker Jr belongs to @askvincent and @scrushling

Emerald and Sapphire belong to @son-of-joy and @twelvetailedkitsune

Suzy belongs to @son-of-joy

Mysteeri belongs to @dreadangel

Celeste belongs to @alpinesquid ))

((Insert opening: https://youtu.be/IBF9XEsnvJI ))

Last time on Syer's Rebellion:

With the Revolution continuing on the Eastern US Theater, half of the United States are in favor of overthrowing President Howe and her Administration. Sandra learns more about her brother, James, and his stay in the United States and how he formed Market Splatoon.

In New Orleans, Sandra goes through a small crisis over where she belongs: her reunited family in the U.S. or the adopted family back in Inkopolis, Japan. This concerned her friends who then reminded her that if it wasn't for them, she wouldn't have found her brother, James. Soon, Sandra had most of them swear a small oath that no matter what, they will sail with her always.

Meanwhile, President Evelyn "Georgia III" Howe has received her prosthetics and modifications, becoming a cyborg. As a result, she considers herself an angel called Columbia. With news about the Revolution pushing towards the capital, she plans to play her final gambles with what she has left in her reign.

United States of America - 12:15 Noon

A week has passed and the Revolution and sprung fast into action. Suzy, Emerald, and Sapphire were in the states besides the Mississippi, assuring that Splat-Coats didn't plan to retake the Great Plains. Camille and Nebula worked with Pyrrhus and Mysteeri to help the Revolution take states in the South. Telemachus, Kitzeh, and Celeste head to San Diego to get Sandra's Ship, the Shinkiro, return to Texas to get the Squid Beak Fleet out of the bay and move them to form blockades in New York and States east and northeast from there. Beaker Jr was left with Vix, Marina, and Wish to help Market Splatoon accompany James and Sandra.

The Syer siblings plan to storm Washington D.C. by taking the Revolution through the following states starting with Kentucky, Ohio, West Virginia, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Delaware, Maryland, Virginia. On the way, they'll be leaving a few garrisons and taking historical towns and cities with Yorktown being the last. Once in Virginia, the siblings would rally their friends for one last battle.

This is called Operation Fisher's Net.

In West Virginia, Abraham of Market Splatoon stayed in Charleston to save a relative who was sent there from South Carolina. When the Syer Siblings reached Pennsylvania, James is advised by Sandra to recruit more allies to the cause. This was because there is a heavy defense stationed in Gettysburg that's blocking the way to Washington D.C. The best place to do recruitment and training is in what was once a winter encampment in the southwest of the state, Valley Forge.

When they were occupying the ancient site, the city of Philadelphia is letting the Revolution go through the city and cross the Delaware River to enter New Jersey.

Washington's headquarters - Valley Forge, Pennsylvania - United States of America - 5:00 PM

Beaker Jr is left to watch over Vix while Wish and Marina help Elizabeth collect some information from the Rebels soldier station in the camp. Sandra and James were in a meeting with some generals, and Henri has received news during a courier task. It was from Hawaii.

"It's from Queen Liliuokalani from Hawaii," Henri explained in his French accent, "She sending her Governor to the mainland to provide their contributions to the revolution."

"We'll have another courier send Governor Jamal coordinates to Valley Forge," Sandra responded, "Merci beaucoup, Henri. Nous allons reassinger aux un autre mission plus tard." James has taught her lessons in French.

"D'accord, Madame Syer," Henri happily replied, "Salut." He leaves the tent.

"I guess we'll have to wait for Jamal to catch up," James suggested, "But I'm sure none of you want me to delay Operation Fisher's Net, so I've come to the decision of remaining here with an army to train recruits while waiting for Jamal. I'll leave my Sister Sandra, my assistant Henri, Beaker, and Vix to go on and continue the route we agreed to take."

Sandra nods. "As for Marina and Wish?"

"I'll provide them some men for archaeological excavations to see if we can make use of some information from the past," James answered.

"I'll tell the guys then." Sandra then decided to jokingly reference something. "So you're going to have Henri, a Prussian, and a Pole to train the recruits?"

"Washington did it centuries ago." James gets the idea. "But I don't think we'll be having the equivalent of Steuben or Pulaski present in Valley Forge."

"Then find one." Sandra is about to leave the tent with a large fraction of the generals following her, but she stopped at the exit. "...Want to talk you later before I continue the trail?"

"Sure." For now, James needs to discuss things with the generals staying at Valley Forge.

((At this point of the chapter, story is narrated by Sandra))

With a massive portion of James' Rebellion looking up to me to finish Operation Fisher's Net, I had them prepare their things and rally at a Visitors Center in Valley Forge for the continuation of the Operation. I told the troops and inkmatons I'll catch up with them.

I still had to meet with James somewhere. So I picked an area where a bunch of old, rotting wooden huts was; the people around here call it the Muhlenberg Huts after the man who ordered his men to build them. It was empty as the city of Philadelphia requested the revolution to not touch historical relics like these huts. But at least they didn't say we weren't allowed to be present there. This is the good place for James and me to speak alone.

I had time last week to ask Henri to get something from the Shinkiro: a photocopy of the portrait of Jade Harley that I retrieve from her home island.

I still feel sorry for the human girl who almost looked like me. I even feel the strange faint connection between me and her. What was she like? What has become of her? Did Jade Harley know about the world outside her home or at least what was going on?

I held the photocopy in my hands like any photograph taken. I kind of lost myself for a moment when I stared at the image of Jade Harley; I felt as if I was meeting her right now, back on her home island in the Pacific. We were exploring the hills and mountains, growing plants in her personal greenhouse, and teaching each other some songs. However, I know Jade would never know what an Inkling is, and I wish--

"Sandra? Are you okay?" James snapped me out of my trance. "Who's that on the photo?"

Oh, how silly of me, I was trailing off in my mind. I nearly forgot James and I were supposed to have a meeting here.

"Oh, it's just some human girl from an island," I explained, "She's gone, but... You can tell she almost looks like me."

Instead of agreeing, James gave me a look; It had a smile and eyes of understanding.

"Why are you making that face?" I asked. At first, I thought he thinks I'm weird, but it turns out that he had something similar happen to him.

James took a deep breath. "There was one campaign I did to have Northern support from Washington and a part of Canada. " He took out a very old device. When he turns it on, he managed to access the photos and social media on it. "I found this along with one photo of a boy who almost looked like me..... with a few details as exceptions. I still remember the address of his home: 21605 Fir Dr, Maple Valley, Washington."

"The human I found was Jade Harley... all I know is that she lived on an island in the Pacific -- a paradise -- with her grandfather who was a famous hunter and probably a billionaire and polymath." I leaned against one of the cabin walls, and James did the same. "Miss Harley was probably a fan of the guitar, some cephalopod plushies, and a great gardener."

James scoffed. "The human boy I found was John Egbert. A young prankster who lives with a father who also does pranks. He loved movies and is quite a fan of this guy name Nic Cage."

All I did was smile. It seems James and I do have strong connections as siblings.

(End of Sandra's Narration)

Sandra is leading the Revolution through Operation Fisher's Net; James remains in Valley Forge to build up an army. After crossing the Delaware River and entering New Jersey, they head south to cross the Delaware Bay to enter Delaware itself. They head south to pass through Maryland to cross the Chesapeake Bay and enter Virginia. Here, Sandra splits her army into four with three being sent Northwest to take three cities so that the "Fisher's Net is complete. As for the fourth portion, she's about to use it to repeat history in a place called Yorktown. And it turns out that a Splat-Coat officer and the Inkomaton "Angel", Liberty, were stationed there to negotiate with a German Ambassador for auxiliary support. New Inkomatons are occupying Yorktown along with the Ichabods and Tinmen.

Yorktown, Virginia- United States of America - 12:00 Midnight

Trenches were already surrounding Yorktown, Henri is sent off to request aid from the Squidbeak Fleet, and a revolution encampment is created in an area safely distant from the targeted town. Beaker Jr and Vix were with Sandra to look at the view of the battlefield. It wasn't the same as the last battle of Yorktown for forests have claimed what was once lands clear for a charge. The forests give an advantage for Sandra's men despite it slowing the speed of their advance: it provided them cover and chances to surprise them.

"The Siege of Yorktown is going to repeat," Sandra stated to Beaker and Vix, "But not in the way like before."

"Why is it so important?" Vix questioned. "Did something special happen here?"

"The nation we stand on was built on so many things, and a victory here was one of the roots." Sandra was facing the direction of Yorktown. "I guess the world will turn upside down once more, and this time it's us who might live, or die, or tells the story."

"Won't the historians just muddy the history and change what will be said later?" Beaker Jr questioned. "They do it like a game of telephone!"

"Yeah they do," Sandra agreed, "But there will always be someone that will be looking for us, asking for the true story."

"Meh, good point." Beaker stretches a bit. "I gotta say, we're a long way from home."

"How far are we from home?" Vix asked.

"Very far, Vix," Sandra answered, "very far."

Two hours later...

Sandra has Beaker and Vix remain in the encampment to keep them safe from battle. What she doesn't know is that once she left, Vix disappears 5 minutes later to be found in the trenches at the time of the siege starts. Beaker Jr followed after to find Vix, and he too has ended up coming along Sandra's siege of Yorktown.

Sandra has Vix, in her arms, taking him out of the forests trenches and into a clearing where the rebel troops are already moving together as one force. It slammed into the Splat-coats' defenses, forcing the enemy to hide behind barricades made of now-scrapped steampunk machines and inkmatons.

Only one Inkmaton remained in wings of gold tarnished green. She is in an armor of bronze and a scarf of grey, broken chains around her feet, and a crown of spikes. She is armed with a torch scepter along with a tablet with dovetail handles.

This is Liberty.

"What is that?" Beaker Jr is astonished by the Angel's introduction.

"An Angel of America," Sandra simply replied, "And she is fighting for the Splat-Coats."

Vix tilted his head slightly, not getting exactly what an angel is. Sandra guides Vix to Beaker Jr. Beaker still has the Steampunk Splash-o-matic, Paul, and he puts it to good use again in combat. Since Camille and Nebula aren't there to watch over Vix, Beaker has to be responsible for keeping Vix safe; However, Sandra needs to take this responsibility more.

"Beaker, Vix, stay here." Sandra takes out her steampunk dualies, Lewis and Clark. "Leave it to me and my forces in fighting these guys. If it's possible, get back to the encampment while you still can."

"But I want to help you," Beaker argued.

"Somebody needs to watch over Vix," Sandra rebutted.

They quickly looked to where Vi was standing only to find him missing. Alarmed, the two look at their surroundings and detected him too close to Yorktown's defenses.

"Beaker, you get Vix! I'll cover you!" Sandra ordered.

She and Beaker jump out of the trench and into the fight, trying to reach Vix. The Rebels thought Sandra's leading a charge and they go into a unique charging formation with rollers and brushes at the front, shooters in the middle, and chargers at the back.

When Sandra and Beaker reached Vix, the Rebels have already started breaking the defenses, making the Splat-Coats yield. Liberty sees this and flies northwest, abandoning the doomed town. However, an ink shot from an inkling rebel has the angelic inkomaton come crashing down into a part of the forest.

Another victory for the Revolution, and a strong message to President Howe.

#Future #Plot #Syer's Rebellion

0 notes

konstantinwrites · 8 years ago

Text

Treasures from the Roof of the Insurmountable, Part 1

Small Worlds XI (Wassily Kandinsky)

Hi friends! So, I ranked all 42 songs of the 2017 Eurovision Song Contest. It was as simple as comparing each song to every other and missing every social event for a month. I didn’t give /10 scores and didn’t add a bunch of space between songs to signify gaps in quality, like a cool blog would. However, many generous friends of mine reviewed these songs as well. For an alternative, reasonable point of view, theirs is here.

I understand that asking to listen to 42 three-minute songs on the Internet should be reserved for astonishing lovers, but I hope that you’ll give them a play. The reviews are based primarily on the studio versions, linked in the title, but for fun I more strongly recommend the embedded live performances. This turned into an epic nine-parter only by luck -- Tumblr wisely halts this kind of obsessiveness by setting a limit of five embedded videos per post.

Anyway, I think you’ll like at least some songs. Not this next one, but some.

42: Spirit of the Night by Valentina Monetta and Jimmie Wilson (San Marino) (Returnee, Eurovision 2012, 2013, 2014)

youtube

I will make a conscious effort not to embalm you in Eurovision completely, but I have to bend here since Valentina Monetta breaks all unwritten rules anyway. This was her fourth Eurovision appearance, all for the Most Serene Republic of San Marino, in six years. San Marino houses less people than you saw this weekend, sure, but there are probably a few other musicians in the country that would like a boost to their career.

Maybe some of them were on stage for 2012’s timely “The Social Network Song” (titled “The Facebook Song”, pre-zucc), with which Valentina began her pillage of this contest. (If you have patience for exactly one hyperlink...)

The lyrics incandesce:

Are you ready for a little chat?/And a song about the Internet It's a story ‘bout a social door/You’ve never seen before;

And the “Social Network” music video, all morning bedsheets and Safari browsing and wild leers into camera, is like the aftertaste of a burp from the dude who ran ARK Music Factory.

Throughout the last eon, the early to mid 2010′s, peace still ruled. It was underpinned by dark respect for the creature, and fear, but effective and true peace it was. In Year 3, Monetta qualified to the grand final. Appearing in that show was supposed to be the prologue to another Sammarinese age of serenity. Yes, she breathed too hard and accidentally set the Finnish commentators on fire, then threshed her wings and flew out through the arena roof. Human Eurovision performers have gimmicks, too. It was our Monetta, we prayed to her benevolence, and she made other countries and micronational principalities respect us as well.

But we grew tired of living in fear ourselves. If our Monetta was truly done with this world, we would be happy to raise a new generation in peace. Families waited to resettle back to their birth land, planning carefully. At dawn, sometimes, you noted the unsavory magicks in the distance, still discharging in the air. The tribe elders knew that kids were their most important constituency: every evening, a few fun rhymes with the kids that made each of the elders look silly; every forgathering, the children could run off after roll call. Irreverence and joy, with which the children played games on the hills, was as crucial as the considered warnings that the adults were made to hear.

Come spring, at the agora, Elder Dendroch took his deepest breath of the year, all wheeze, as he screwed in the VGA cable to the projector, casting the San Marino 2015 Eurovision artist announcement onto the smooth side of the hill. During the countdown, even All-Naked Christoph went silent. This was to determine his capacity to continue to gyrate himself around the fire each morning without being clawed by Monetta and thrown into the nearest cactus. Her swift retributions of All-Naked Christoph was one of the few Acts that the tribe was grateful for; however, now they yearned for calm and agency. They were ready to pay the price -- and cover their eyes at breakfast.

What a cheer, then. It was, indeed, someone else for 2015. The slothful bards were worth their silver on this day, spooling blunt limericks on the spot, tribesfolk teary with laughter. The eyes of all, awash with joy and soapy bubbles, feasted on daydreams about this new era. Resettling back to town, with everything as it has been (apart from the bread, now a furry green pet), we gleefully watched Anita Simoncini rap -- for we could scream, “No!”. The year after that, Serhat proselytized us, trying to make what sounded like, “I am a dick tit” happen. We loved telling him that it’s not going to happen, and besides, he was the neighboring queen’s chief accountant and she was not letting him out on any more trips like that. Our power was back.

But, well... You saw the rest. You saw 2017. Not even Mostly-Naked Christoph thought that eurodance would rise again. Not even the gloomiest of the kids ever had in mind that Monetta was always in control, and that there is nothing that we can ever do but point our projector at the stars.

“Spirit of the Night” is a dance anthem structured around a conversation between two horny and dim-witted patrons of a San Marino club. “Hey, are you the one I dream about?/Baby, I am.” After successfully capturing his target’s interest with this awful line, the man proceeds to use amateur pick-up artistry to delve into the murky depths of her insecurity. “Every time I see you smile/There is sadness in your eyes.”

Luckily for him, his quarry eats this obvious nonsense up. After connecting through dance, he seals the deal by revealing that he’s a hurt, insecure man who is in need of a woman to protect him. “Hey, are you the one to take my pain?/Just take my hand/I’ve been so hurt before, it’s hard to trust again.” Nonstop key changes and a reference to obscure weather phenomena attempt to mask the utter vacuity of “Spirit of the Night,” but nobody is fooled. 1/10.

Richard Hansen

41: Keep The Faith by Tamara Gachechiladze (Georgia)

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Ten seconds in, this has all the potential in our supercluster. It becomes “Keep The Faith”, but that moody horn-driven bar can lead into a Jay-Z track, a Antony and the Johnsons symphony, or the title screen of “Swordfish”. But it becomes “Keep The Faith”, and it’s a little awkward; I live and work in Georgia, and super enjoy this country.

However, this song is derivative garbage, devoid of any sensory pleasure. It has many siblings, songs of this type, all grey, parts-per-million pollutant specks. It’s a pure ballad and a very specific type of ballad, none of which have ever been enjoyable: pie-eyed on piano, throaty-vocaled, vowel-elongating, forcefully important, crudely pitch-raising, artless fat zeppelins of songs, avoiding melodiousness by purpose and not even by chance.

I like the few seconds in the bridge where Tamara and the backup singers go, “Oh - ohhh - oh! - ohhh!”, and I like the final string cadences, the last two notes in the song. I wish they’d signaled the end to something not so comprehensively dopey.

Please also let me just add here that I adore “Mzeo” by Mari Mamadashvili, the Georgian winner of Junior Eurovision 2016.

I’ve cried listening to it. I’ve showed her performance to many people. Don’t revoke my residence permit. Look at how much good stuff Billy wrote.

Having heard a plethora of Georgian music over the past year, I really didn’t have my hopes up going into this one. But I have to hand it to Tamriko, she may have actually pulled it off. The song’s video isn’t much to talk about, and I found the opening lyrics about hiding behind a veil and then panning to a woman in a hijab to be slightly off color, but the tune and subsequent lyrics are actually pretty cool. One might say the video had my sentiments shaken, but not stirred. That’s right, I referenced James Bond (Jamesi Bondi) and how could I not? The ominous violin, three-key piano repetition and horns - the song practically screams, “put us in the next movie!” and I happen to agree.

If we got rid of the whole weird hip-but-frowning aspect and replaced it with an unmistakable gun-toting secret agent silhouette, complete with tastefully nude female figurines, Georgia might actually have a hit on their hands. Don’t get me wrong, I am a big believer in letting music speak for itself and in many ways this song does, but at the end of the day it’s also a pop song and that music video HAS to be tight. Get this out to Eon Productions, Georgia; I’ll be disappointed if Ed Sheeran gets to do another title sequence.

As far as vocals go, Tamro fits the role pretty nicely - she can really belt it and it adds to the overall grandness of the song. As a matter of fact, grand is probably the word I would use to describe this. It’s the kind of song that makes you clench your fists and pump your arms dramatically and ceremoniously. Tamo’s powerful vocals and lyrics are engaging and entertaining; my only real worry is that with such a Bond-sounding song, people might have a difficult time seeing it as its own thing. Not to mention, if people dislike James Bond, they’re probably just going to see this as some hack interpretation of an Adele hit. While some might view it as lacking in theme originality, I see it as a distinguished work operating in a certain genre (a difficult one at that). I don’t think the sky will be falling on this song any time soon! Qochagh, Sakartvelo! 8/10.

Billy Moran

40: Gravity by Hovig (Cyprus)

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The lifetime of this adult contemporary rockvomit is: released to the suffering masses, all 4th grade boys for three days repeat-blast “Gravity” on the family speakers, then torrent Battlefield and yelp and chaotically shake their faces to its menu music and forget about “Gravity” forever. No other integration of this song into a human life can be permitted.

This wailing, free trial-distortion-effects, tragically detached one-dimensional nonsense would take aback a NHL video highlights editor, and they’re immune to this stuff. “Gravity” is for a montage of, like, a corrupted toothpaste factory, where the toothpaste is evil. There is something a little demonic with the toothpaste. It’s been breached. There are lich in the toothpaste, hiding themselves and their sorcery, and they now terrorize users of toothpaste all over the world. Only those who still use tooth powder have not yet turned. With this paragraph, I have now released more beauty into this world than the Cypriot entry. I’m not proud of putting lich and toothpaste together. I know I’ll answer for this one day. Sometimes you have to drive a point home.

This is a solidly made pop ballad with a catchy chorus that I could see getting good radio play for about two weeks before being promptly forgotten. While somewhat catchy on first listen, it quickly loses its appeal and you realize there is nothing more there than another over-produced pop song that makes oatmeal look plain and generic. This song is the definition of standard, meaningless pop. It's begging for some sort of edge to it, some sprinkles to go with its vanilla. As is, I'd much rather listen to “Hook” by Blues Travelers.

Ryan Haskell

39: Dying to Try by Brendan Murray (Ireland)

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I like Brendan’s voice. For 54 seconds, he makes a serviceable dyingtotry. I like that the first line of this Segway-speed ballad gets close to saying, “Take a leak of faith with me”. I like his tuneful delivery through the lightly layered first minute, and you could stroll to this and take sips of still water and feel correct.

Then the songwriters take out their game hunting rifles, trundle us into the basement and serve us a soup of impotent key change, never-ending chorus and string accompaniment, all of which we would spoon out of the dish in a less savage situation. You eat — you have to — belch, relax a bit, and then notice Brendan at the table, his meal long finished, as he mouths to you, “trying to die”.

As an American who grew up American, with American parents and American grandparents, I myself am American. That said, I definitely identify with the Irish a bit - they’re my ancestral roots and I root for the guys for sure. But I have to say, Brendan Murray, bud, you let me down. The song can be summed up in one word: boring. The kid looks to be about 15 and, sure, he has some pipes (little Irish pun there), but I have to believe these impressively high notes he’s hitting have more to do with his lack of pubic advancement and less with actual talent.

The music video takes us on the journey of love’s rocky road, complete with a daughter of Elrond and a poodle man that would make Dr. Moreau jealous. Perhaps I would have paid more attention to the lyrics if the featured couple were less visually jarring. I mean, the woman was fine… But the poodle man! That hair! There’s a million elf-y looking guys in Ireland to complement the girl, and they choose that guy!

My biggest complaint comes at the peak of the song’s rising action. Brian is walking through the grassy knolls of Ireland, as one does, and the viewer is treated to a beautiful melancholy landscape that just screams of Ireland. But instead of giving the listener something to complement the breathtaking view, we get a gospel choir harmony as Brian dives into his chorus. It was the perfect moment to incorporate cultural music - so poorly utilized by Israel - and Ireland missed it! If a lovely flute had accompanied Brian as the camera raced across the Irish shoreline back to our visually perplexing couple, I think I would have poured a shot of Jameson on the spot and shed a tear for all the struggling lovers in the emerald isle. Instead, the song loses its identity and all my invested interest is gone with it.

Brian, the wise fifteen-year-old he is, ever wary of love’s slings and arrows, tells us, “No one can promise that love will ever learn how to fly”, but I can promise Brian that his song won’t be flying to the top of any billboard charts. Maybe something a little more fun next year, huh Ireland? Sláinte! 4/10.

Billy Moran

38: My Turn by Martina Bárta (Czech Republic)

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The indifferently mute student can be the most frustrating. Staring at the arithmetic poster for two minutes at a time, boring with their pen more and more millimeters of their desk hole, finding the right moments to sip a hidden can of Fanta with the vigilance of a mosquito pursuing a meal from a human absentmindedly playing the Chrome dinosaur game -- apathetic students cause little obvious trouble in class. However, asked to contribute to any task, their monastic silence and translucency can drop a teacher’s command of the classroom to the floor. Other students, especially ones wavering between “kind of paying attention” and the Frowning Face With Open Mouth emoji, sense the student’s apathy, think that the lessons are, indeed, for nothing, and mentally teleport themselves out of there as well.

Which brings me to “My Turn”. It would be out of date during Pangaea, but out of date is very often fine. The prime disappointment is that it has a harmonious, sentimental melody to throw around, as most ballads do, but concretely refuses to get out of the hotel elevator, or the Saturday morning wine tasting. There are many piano works like these; it shouldn’t be an excuse to bunt and be another, especially because it’s got a pleasant tune. I’ve listened to “My Turn” at least 30 times and can recall the main progression with roughly the same clarity as remembering why Fletcher Christian mutinied and vamoosed to Pitcairn Island, the Wikipedia summary of which I probably read once, or maybe someone told me. Before going home, Teacher Eurovision will leave an inspirational message for Martina on her desk. “You can be different!” The next morning it’ll only be used with a shout of, “Kobe!” and be another clump a few feet from the trash basket.

Czech Republic’s Eurovision results, 2007 (debut) to 2017: 28th in a 28-song semifinal; 18th in a 19-song semifinal; 18th in a 18-song semifinal; Not participating for five years (understandably); 13th in a 17-song semifinal; 9th in a 18-song semifinal, 25th in a 26-song final; 13th in a 18-song semifinal.

Czech selection committee: just put a donk on it. You’ll like the results.

Not only did Ms. Martina choose to submit a song written in English to the Annual Eurovision Ritual, helping the beast of globalization devour her culture and language, but she also submitted a song with lyrics so boring that they flee from my mind immediately after I’ve heard them, as if Gilderoy Lockhart himself has just charmed them directly out of my cerebellum. Lyrics: 2/10.

Luckily, the music video itself is far more interesting than the song itself. I’m at least 80% sure this video depicts what people experience while rolling on Ecstasy. Nude bodies of various age and shape, writhing in ways that are at once harmonious and cacophonous. Here an old white man finds peace in a warm-towel embrace of a large black man. There a bald man hangs his head in his ultimate shame only to be comforted by an equally bald woman. At one point the bacchanalian dancers just all freeze and turn their heads sharply to one side, staring at the audience with eyes that contain something between abject misery and ultimate pleasure. Disturbing! Music video: 7/10. I found this video hilarious. Personal enjoyment: 9/10.

Cody Phillips

#eurovision #eurovision 2017

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