#Of the 10 shelves in total only 2 have books

[thewirewitch]

I got a 110-sheet hard-cover sketchbook for $7 today and OUGH the paper!

The texture, the thickness. I can already tell it's a really good sketchbook.

The strangest part was...I didn't find a spot for it? I went down what were probably the only 2 aisles of art supplies at that store and all the sketchbooks were those paperback ones with the wires. The book I found was laying on top of some of the paper-back ones (or, plastic-back, in this case). Couldn't find any more of them.

By the way I was looking for some of that spray coating for artwork so I could start doing charcoal drawings again and I did find it but it was in the knitting aisle??? There was some glue there (I picked up some Mod Podge for collages) but that's still a really weird place to put it. Leave it to a grocery store to have weird art supply placements. Love you Meijer but y'all need to get your stuff together, literally. By the way they do sell charcoal pencil kits there.

[viridwns]

The way I've been daydreaming about an innocent and go lucky darling slowly being caged by demon!Chrollo.

Also I wrote this at 2 AM so expect spelling mistakes and the plot making no sense. Tbh this sounds like regular Chrollo as well.

Demon!Chrollo, who was summoned by some low ranking mob boss. The idiot thought that with a demon by his side, he would quickly rise the ranks.

Demon!Chrollo, who manipulated said boss in summoning his troupe as well. After he didn't even need to flick his wrist or bloodsplatters already tainted the walls

Demon!Chrollo, who has waited millenias to be summoned again. Being locked away by the zoldyck's for messing with their affairs was a greater problem than Chrollo would've liked.

Demon!Chrollo, who kept a low profile, preparing him and his troupe to start hoarding things from the human world again. Especially rare ones that were not easy to obtain. He was crazy about that.

Demon!Chrollo, who slowly but surely gained power again, wreaking havoc on everyone who did him wrong. He stayed in the shadows while he did, pouncing on human souls when they least expected it. Oh, how he missed feeding of the people from earth.

Demon!Chrollo, who first saw you in your pretty white sun dress wearing a big white bow in your hair to match. You were sitting by a window reading in a smalltown bookshop. He had been planning on taking over this town soon enough. He needed to gain as much strength as he could before terrorizing the big cities like York New.

Demon!Chrollo, who grows curious of you. The bookshop itself was deserted. It also didn't help that you were wearing something so bright in contrast to the dim shop. Even the town was somber, so why were you dressed all pretty and light?

Demon!Chrollo, who couldn't help but focus intensly on your soft face. You honestly looked like the human version of a bunny. Is this what humans meant with cute?

Demon!Chrollo, who is amused by your lack of awareness. He's been standing in the middle of the shop for 10 minutes staring at you, and you were totally captivated by your book

Demon!Chrollo, who can't help but clear his throat. Biting back an involuntary smile when your head moves into his direction, but your eyes stay on your book a while longer.

Demon!Chrollo, who says he didn't mind when you apologize vigorously for making him wait once your focus shifted on him. He finds it strange how he didn't kill you yet. You were alone in a deserted place, this was the perfect opportunity, but yet he can't help to find out more a about you.

Demon!Chrollo, who finds out you were the owner of the shop, but business has been running slow. You were still weirdly upbeat, even when you were on the verge of going broke.

Demon!Chrollo, who buys a few books based on your recommendations, you just keep rambling on to him, not a care in the world. He lets you reach for books on the highest shelves, just to see you stand on your tippy toes. Your frilly dress lifting ever so slighty for him to see where exactly your stockings stop. Mid thigh. He swoops in last second, when you were about to get a ladder, leaning over you from behind and getting the book; apologizing for letting you do so much work.

Demon!Chrollo, who can't get enough of your soft smiles, small giggles and your sunny personality. When you're from a world that has only seen the worst of mankind, you were a welcomed refreshment.

Demon!Chrollo, who thinks it's stupid how fast you trust him, but it bothers him more to think about how quickly you would trust others. You just don't seem to think you can get hurt.

Demon!Chrollo, who takes the initiative to visit you every day. He must protect his angel.

Demon!Chrollo, who is surprised by how little you know about the actual world. You see the world in rainbows and glitter, not having seen what's out there beyond this smalltown life. When he told you one of his 'adventures' (leaving the not so pleasant details out) you couldn't get enough of it.

Demon!Chrollo, who has to hold back when you listen to him with your eyes wide and big, your mouth slightly parted, and your overhelming load of questions.

Demon!Chrollo, who secretly wants to corrupt you. Every time you wear a pretty bow or a white dress with lace stockings hugging your legs so nice, he can't help the urge to bend you over the cashier, lift up your so easily accessible dress to find out you are wearing silk panties and fuck you so hard your purity ring shatters right off your finger.

Demon!Chrollo, who wants to show you what he is, what an angel like you has been spending time with. He wants to drag you with him to hell, to consume your soul and make you like him.

Demon!Chrollo, who likes to show off just a fraction of his strength to you by moving furniture where you want it. Or who uses his speed to steal some of your stuff from right under your nose. You won't know it was him, you're too oblivious.

Demon!Chrollo, who never had such intense attractions to a human before. He wasn't inexperienced when it came to mates, but those were all to quench his needs. He couldn't help but want to lock you up and keep you at his side forever.

Demon!Chrollo, who uses his alluring voice to make you do what he wants. You won't even remember the next day. Thinking the bruising on your thighs is just from bumping into too many corners (even though some bruises look like very clear bitemarks of something that has sharp canines)

Demon!Chrollo, who won't penetrate you just yet. He wants you conscious for that. He uses his outwordly looks to seduce you. You're very playful, he finds. He never knows if you are flirting or just being...you. When you steal his book from him and he responds with cornering you, coming up all nice and close in your face, but you only respond with giggles, slapping the book in his chest and booping his nose before escaping his trap.

Demon!Chrollo, who also wants to keep you the way you are. Who wants to keep you as his little human who fills his day with a lovely smile. He wants you at his side as he destroys town after to town, as he becomes stronger and more powerful.

Demon!Chrollo, who keeps his cool with you but slowly cages you in. You don't leave the bookshop that much anymore, not when he is there most of the time, keeping you company and somehow taking care of your every need. He has taken a personal claim on your pure soul, and demons are very posessive of what is theirs.

[enkas-illusion]

About My Man - Part 3/5

Fandom / Pairing: Jujutsu Kaisen / Choso x f!reader, Suguru x f!reader

Rating: NSFW/Explicit - MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Content Warning: Fluff, language, hurt/comfort, slight making out

Chapter Summary: As you begin to accept the weird turn of events as your new reality, you prepare yourself to face some less-than-comfortable encounters.

Author’s Note: Umm so, I got carried away and now this is a 5 part story instead of the 3-part I’d initially intended. I realised it didn’t have enough build up and drive for the characters to act the way they do. Hope you enjoy it.

~ Eren’s Birdie

Song Dedication: Stupid by Vincent Blue

Part 2 | Part 4

When you wake up the next morning, you feel relatively calm and… bored. You check your phone, expecting a text from Choso like he usually would, only to find nothing at all.

Usually he’d hit you with a ‘reached home safely ma’am!’ or ‘i know you miss me already, sleep tight’ or literally just a bunch of stickers and gifs when he was too tired to type.

So you take it upon yourself to text him.

You: hey Cho. Hope you reached home safe.

You stare at your text and all you can think is how clingy you sound. But you don’t get time to take that train of thought any further when you see the three dots indicating that he’s typing.

Cho <3: Yup.

Oh. 

You wait, staring at your screen for about 5 minutes. 

Maybe he just woke up? Maybe he’s still trying to figure out what to say? 

You’re only met with disappointment as he goes offline. You subconsciously trace your fingertips over your lips. Yeah, that was definitely not a dream. Choso had, in fact, almost kissed you. You feel a pang of disappointment in your heart.

You realise you no longer had any plans for the day, since you were relying on Choso to make one. You quickly drag yourself out of the puddle of self-pity and your bed. Might as well make the most of a Sunday by taking yourself out on a date.

Looking at yourself in the mirror, you fake a smile so wide that your cheeks hurt and realise that Suguru must’ve easily seen through it and figured out how annoyed you were. You give yourself some words of encouragement, “Get your shit together man. At this rate, you’re gonna end up as the single cat lady… and NOT the cute type.”

To make things easier, you put a ban on thinking about crushes and love-life for the day during an unnecessarily long shower. You grab a bag with all your essentials, text Luna about your whereabouts and make your way to the local cafe you frequented almost every other week.

“Hey! Look who showed up finally!” The cafe owner, Samantha smiles as she welcomes you.

“Hey Sam, been busy with work… you should know I’d never forget this cafe of all places!” you reply, smiling sheepishly.

“Ha ha, I believe you!” Sam has a heavily resonating voice that makes even her still empty cafe seem lively, “the regular?”

You nod, “Oh! Please make it take-away. I wanna sit in the park.”

“You got it!” she says as she vanishes in the back. You notice her rush around to decorate the glass shelves with freshly baked goods.

“Sam! Have you already prepared the Tiramisu, by any chance?” you ask her.

“Sorry love, that’s gonna take some time,” she yells back at you from the kitchen.

“Okay, no worries. I’ll come back for it some other time.”

Sam prepares your order in less than 10 minutes. You bid her goodbye as you merrily make your way to the park in anticipation of the first taste of your coffee and pain au chocolat, the best in town if someone were to personally ask you. You take the smallest sips, trying hard not to finish your coffee before you even reach the park.

Once you finally reach your destination and settle down on one of the wooden benches, you take a book out, plug your earphones in and take the first bite of the still warm pastry –  heaven. 

Your strategy to attain a peaceful solo date is a total flop – this realisation hits when you find it hard to concentrate even with classical music blasting in your earphones, reading the same sentence over and over till you finish eating the pastry.

Well, nevermind.

You close the book, placing it on the bench. As your mind wanders back to Choso, you change the playlist to pop to make it more ‘upbeat’. 

Anything but Choso and Suguru, please!

You take another sip as you close your eyes, basking in the sun, resting your head on the backrest. The warm morning sun feels good, though you know you only have another half hour before it goes from pleasant to hellishly hot.

After about 5 minutes of direct sunlight dancing on your skin, you feel shadowed. You squint your eyes open to see a very sweaty Suguru smiling down at you, blocking the sun’s rays.

“Stop standing there like an eclipse,” you take your earphones out to speak to him.

“Good morning, ex-girlfriend.”

You give him another one of your fake smiles.

“May I?” he points at the space next to you. You nod as you move further to one corner of the bench, picking up your book in one hand with the coffee cup in another hand. The aroma of even the almost empty cup is so strong that it reaches him the minute he sits down. 

“Cinnamon?” he asks in surprise. You nod. “But you used to hate cinnamon in coffee.”

“I like it now.”

“Hmm…” he pulls out the napkin tucked into the elastic of his sweat pants to wipe his face. His buff muscles glisten under the sunlight and you see his tattoos clearly for the first time. They still cut off at the bicep where his t-shirt begins and you wonder where the tattoos really end.

You snap out of it asap, feeling the need to make conversation to compensate for the staring, “I remember when you had your first tattoo.” 

“This one?” he lifts the left corner of his shirt up till you see the traditional japanese design of a dragon on his outer oblique muscle. You turn away to finish your coffee, not allowing yourself to stare for too long.

“Yup,” you chuckle, remembering the memory – you’d forgotten the design but not what had happened. Suguru desperately wanted the tattoo but had to hide it somewhere his mother wouldn’t notice and you were the one to suggest its placement.

“That’s the only one that stands out on its own. I wish I’d endured mom’s scolding for a better placement,” he laughs, “it’s so pretty, shame it stays so hidden.”

‘Yeah, just roam around shirtless. Apparently you’d love the extra attention on you!’ You refrain yourself from saying it out aloud.

You notice a few women passing by, stealing glances at the man sitting next to you. Suguru still has the same effect, turning heads way too frequently.

“It's still the same… everyone still stares at you as if you’re some Greek god,” you observe as you chuckle.

“Everyone but you,” he states.

You turn to look at him and he's resting an arm over the backrest and his head tilting on his arm, looking at only you.

“Suguru,” you warn him.

“Yes?” He smiles.

“Stop it. I don't know what you’re trying to do but stop it.”

“Why? You liked me before. You'll like me again!” He states smugly. You raise an eyebrow at him.

“Wait, that came out wrong. I mean, we both used to like each other, what's the harm in trying again?” He asks as he sits up straight. 

“There's no again. Are you done exploring your options?” You try your best not to let the annoyance slip into your voice.

“That– I was young and immature!” He defends.

“And I've moved on,” you take a deep breath, “Look, if it's friendship you want, then sure, we can try being friends… but I doubt there can ever be anything more.”

“Friends…” he contemplates, “okay, we started out as friends before anyway.”

You roll your eyes as you shove your things in your bag and get up in a haste.

He grabs your wrist, “Wait, wait! I'm kidding! Friends it is.”

“Okay, cool,” you nod before leaving him on the bench anyway. 

He takes steady steps behind you, “Where did you get that coffee? Smells delicious.”

“It's just around the corner. About 500 metres from the park's entrance,” you reply, still walking ahead of him. When you stop near the trash can to discard the empty cup, you hear him call your name again.

“Take me there?” He asks, grinning sheepishly at you. At that moment, you decide to cut him some slack. You could catch a break too, so you start walking in the cafe’s direction once again.

“Okay. Follow me.”

At the cafe, after Sam smirks at you when she sees you enter with such a ‘hottie’, you dismiss her hopes as you reaffirm that ‘he’s just a friend’ while ordering for him.

“I’ll tell you later. Long story,” you whisper to her as you take the cup and pastry to your table where Suguru had been waiting for you.

This time, you actually catch up with Suguru properly. You tell each other about your jobs, a summary of the past 5 years in about 15 minutes and finally end up on his talk with your mother, who really did try matchmaking when she gave him your landlord’s number.

“I KNEW IT! She denied it when I asked yesterday!” you complain.

“She always knew you had a crush on me,” he laughs.

“Well, guess I need to update her on my love life,” you joke back.

“So, what’s the deal with this Choso guy anyway?” He tests the waters.

“I don’t know yet. I just know that I like him a lot… so much so that I get lovesick when he’s not around,” you bite your tongue, trying hard not to talk too much since it felt weird to tell Suguru about this of all people. Still as he persists, you tell him about the night you lied about the fake relationship. He listens calmly.

“What about him? Does he feel the same way?” he asks when you’re done.

“Maybe?”

“You’re settling for a maybe? You fought me for a confession by grabbing my collar and threatening to punch me,” he scoffs.

You feel your cheeks get hot with embarrassment at the memory – one that is just as fresh in Suguru’s mind as it is in yours because it was the angriest he’d ever seen you.

“Clearly, I no longer use that approach,” you clear your throat. He simply shrugs.

“Well, we almost kissed yesterday,” you feel the need to defend yourself.

“Wuss… I actually did kiss you,” he retorts calmly.

“And you chickened out too… so,” you scoff, getting slightly annoyed, “right, maybe I should just give up on everyone since I keep falling for the same type each time.”

“Hey…” he reaches his hand out to place it on top of yours, “I didn’t mean to– I’m sorry.” He squeezes your hand and you feel a bit calmer.

“Suguru. I’d like to be your friend but just… please, let me ease into it slowly,” you sigh, defeated.

“Okay,” he smiles, holding your gaze. 

You look down as you slowly pull your hand away in a way that doesn’t seem too harsh. He drinks the rest of his coffee in silence. The walk back home is quiet as well. 

“Right, then I guess I’ll see you around,” you finally speak as you reach in front of your apartment door.

“Yes you will,” he says as he takes a few steps more till he’s leaning against his apartment door.

“Bye,” you smile as you open your door. 

Suguru’s in no rush, still leaning lazily, waving at you till you’re out of his sight. It’s only when he hears your door lock click that he unlocks his door to go inside. Something he’d never admit out loud was that maybe a little part of him was hoping you’d call him over to talk some more.

~~~

You give Luna a brief summary, catching her up on your lore and for the first time, she admits how ‘fucked’ you are.

“Have you heard from Choso?” she asks.

You check your phone, “Nope.”

“Talk to him after work tomorrow,” Luna suggests. You nod. You were planning to if he doesn’t keep on ignoring you.

You decide to ignore the aches of your heart because you really needed to clear your head. So naturally, you binge about 10 episodes of Love Island for the rest of the day.

By midnight, you feel your eyelids get heavy but your brain still doesn’t feel sleepy. Instead, you find your consciousness drifting to a distant memory that still seemed as vivid as if it were just yesterday.

~ Flashback: 5 Years Ago ~

“Well, I called my mom and she said she’s not exactly ‘sure’ when they’d return,” you sigh.

“Hmm,” Suguru doesn’t look up from his books.

“I don’t know why your mom asks me to babysit a grownass man,” you joke as you sit on the corner of the table next to his textbooks.

“You were the one wanting to hang out with me,” Suguru mumbles, still concentrating on his reading.

“Suguru please, you’re boring me to death,” you complain.

“Unlike you, I really do need to study. I can’t just study everything the night before exams and get perfect grades.”

“SOMEBODY’S jealous,” you giggle. He brings the palm of his hand over your mouth to shut you up. You bite his skin lightly and he retracts his hand immediately. He finally looks up at you and you pout at him. 

“Fine! What would you like to do?” he asks, closing the book shut.

“I don’t know,” you giggle.

“God, you’re annoying,” he says as he stands up in front of you.

“It’s an antidote for your boring ass,” you mock him back.

“My ass is anything but boring,” he scoffs.

“Yeah, I have noticed… just like every other girl in school,” you laugh.

“SOMEBODY’S jealous,” he mocks you.

“Me? As if! When hell freezes over,” you roll your eyes at him. He moves closer to you. 

“You realise you make it so obvious,” he snickers as he leans closer, caging you by placing one hand on either side of you.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you lie, a smile still plastered on your face as you stare into his eyes. You see his intention change in his eyes.

“Don’t look at me like that,” he warns you softly.

“Like what?” you ask, feigning innocence.

“Like you’re in love with me,” he’s blunt.

Your breath hitches before you manage to speak, “And what if I am?”

He stares at you, figuring out whether you were still teasing him or actually managed to confess your feelings that he was already so painfully aware about.

He gives you a quick peck to gauge your reaction – you’re stunned… and bushing, but you don’t pull back. So he leans back in as he captures your lips in a kiss once again. You open your mouth slightly, not knowing what to do.

As he slowly slides his tongue in your mouth, you let him take the lead. You let him guide you as you go from someone who’d never been kissed to someone who learnt from the best. The rush of your first kiss takes over, making you feel more confident as your lips chase his plump ones, mirroring his ministrations.

Suguru’s hands move down your sides till he’s cupping your ass before tugging at your thighs. You hook your legs around his hips and your hands around his shoulders when his hands grip your waist to lift you off the table with ease. He walks you to his bed and your lips only part for a split second when your back hits the soft mattress.

Your arms are still wrapped around his neck before he pulls back, his chest heaves when he takes shallow breaths. You bring one hand to cup his face as you look at him so lovingly that it makes his knees feel weak.

“Fuck,” he mumbles as he pulls his t-shirt off in one swift motion. Your eyes wander down to his toned torso and to the plastic film that’s covering his still healing tattoo. He intertwines his fingers with yours, kissing your knuckles before pinning your hands above your head. Burying his face into your neck, his teeth tug at your sensitive skin, causing you to let out an involuntary moan.

He brings one hand under your t-shirt, pulling your bra down to play with one of your hardened nipples. This new sensation makes your brain go hazy as you moan his name out loud. 

He finds himself losing his composure as he grinds his hips against your crotch. You feel something hard rub against your clothed cunt each time he repeats the movement. You wish he'd tear off your clothes in that very instant. As if he can read your thoughts, Suguru pushes your t-shirt up over your chest.

Your eyes meet as he grins at you, yanking your bra down to expose your tits before his puffy wet lips close around one of your nipples and he sucks hard on the bud. You grip his hair roughly, “Suguru!”

“Ah– fuck,” he groans as he moves up to look into your eyes once again before kissing you hastily. Your sighs and restricted moans get lost on his tongue. He parts again, allowing you both to catch your breaths. You’re not sure for how long you’d been kissing but with every second that passes, you feel this insatiable hunger for more.

His lips sucking purple-blue claims over the flesh of your boobs makes your brain short circuit at the amount of pleasure taking over your senses. Your skin burns hot when his hand snakes down to unbutton your pants. You feel his hand shake as he dips it inside your pants, his eyes almost rolling to the back of his head when he realises how wet you are.

“Shit– you’re so hot,” he swipes two fingers over your clothed cunt, pressing firmly against the wet fabric. You furrow your eyebrows as your head luls back and your back arches.

“Hey– hey,” he grabs your chin to make you look at him once again. He devours your lips once again, making your skin tingle as he bites your bottom lip.

“Suguru… I love–”

You pause and your eyes widen when you hear the main door open before you have a chance to finish your sentence. It’s clear that Suguru hears it too as he gets off of you instantly. He finds his t-shirt to put it on again and you rush into the bathroom to adjust your clothes when you hear footsteps outside his room door.

You hear his mom call your name outside and Suguru saying something but it's far from coherent — their voices drowned out by the rapid beating of your heart. You look in the mirror to fix your appearance before slowly opening the bathroom door. 

“There you are, dear! You mum’s waiting downstairs,” his mom smiles at you and you notice Suguru already had his book opened, pretending to study as he sat on the chair.

“Oh yeah, alright. See you later,” you feel hot under her gaze.

“Bye, see ya,” Suguru looks at you and you rush downstairs.

“Everything alright? You look a bit sick,” you mom worries as you walk past her to the main door.

“Yeah, just tired,” you lie as you lead her out the door, carrying the shopping bags she had with her.

You don’t hear back from Suguru as he actively avoids you everywhere, so much so that he switches gym time to evade you. You text him but get no reply nonetheless. You feel disheartened and decide to give him some space… for about two weeks. The feeling eats you from inside – if you were going to be rejected, it’d better be a clear rejection without a speck of doubt.

So you end up at his house, ringing the doorbell when you know he’d usually be home from class. You press the bell once again when you get no response. As you start to wonder if this was a futile attempt, the door clicks open and Suguru peeps out, headphones hanging around his neck. 

He looks surprised, not expecting you to show up at such a random time. But then he opens the door for you, the colour returning to his face as he prepares himself for the confrontation. 

“Mum’s not home,” he speaks as he closes the door behind you.

“I know. She went out with my mom,” you make your way to the living room couch where his video game console is laid out. 

“Would you like to play?” he asks as he settles next to you, picking up the console.

You stare at him in disbelief. One, you were already angry at him for ghosting you after your FIRST kiss, of all things. Two, seeing him playing a video game without a care in the world, while you had been miserable for the past two weeks, makes your blood boil.

“So, I guess we’re just going to avoid whatever’s going on between us?” you ask.

“Nothing’s going on between us,” he mumbles, eyes not sparing you a glance.

This was the first time you’d seen Suguru act this way. You’d never seen this side of him, and it makes you feel even more queasy.

“Suguru,” you warn him, “talk to me.”

“What’s there to talk abou–”

Before he gets a chance to finish his sentence, you’re almost pouncing on him, throwing his console to the ground before grabbing him by the collar of his shirt.

“WHAT’S THERE TO TALK ABOUT?” you yell, absolutely livid. Your grip on his shirt tightens as your knee slightly slips off the couch. Suguru holds you in place, his fingers digging into the flesh of your waist.

He sighs as he calls out your name, scared of your wrath for the first time as the anger burns in your eyes, “Please calm down.”

Your fingers are still tightly gripping his shirt, knuckles turning white, but your head slumps down as tears threaten to escape your eyes. It’s a premonition – wherever this is going, you already know it’s not going to end well.

“Can I explain?” he speaks softly as his hands come up to your wrists. You loosen your grip as you nod and he holds your wrists down softly, not letting them go as he continues, “I feel like I’ve fucked up our friendship. I knew you had a crush on me… it was a mistake, I– I never should’ve kissed you.”

“How can you be so cruel, Suguru? You knew yet you still… you’re the meanest,” your voice cracks.

“This is exactly what I wanted to avoid. I knew you'd be like this… I just don’t want to break your heart. You know I’m not meant for serious shit,” he shakes his head, his thumbs rubbing over your skin in a not-so-consoling manner, “As much as I love y–”

“Bullshit,” you sniff.

He lets out a heavy sigh, “I know you. I don’t want to break your heart.”

“Then you shouldn't have kissed me!” you hit his chest with two weak punches.

“Because I’m still attracted to you! I just can’t be who you want me to be. I'm holding myself back because I don't want to treat you as if you're just another hook-up,” his fingers wrap around your wrists firmly this time, as if he’s preparing for you to hit him again.

You laugh in disbelief, “Is your brain really in your fucking dick? You know what? I’m so glad your mom interrupted us that day.”

“I’m sorry, okay? I just don’t want to make promises I won’t be able to keep… especially not with you,” his hands soften when your grip loosens as he tries to interlace his fingers with yours.

You feel your hands shake and take a deep breath. His lips brush against your fingertips lightly before he places a kiss on the back of your hand as he rests his forehead against yours. 

He lets go of your hands to pull you closer into a hug instead – his arms wrapping around you in such a comforting way that it almost tricks you into believing everything is alright. But there it is again; he says your name as if it's an apology, whispering it so delicately in a desperate attempt to disarm your fury. 

Despite the tears in your eyes betraying you, your face looks indifferent as you push him away slowly. You look him in the eyes as you dictate, “Don’t you ever dare talk to me again.”

 ~ End of Flashback ~

You wake up to the blaring sound of the alarm ringing incessantly as you try to fish your phone out from where it was lost somewhere in the blanket. By the time you manage to find it to snooze it for 10 more minutes, you’ve already wide awake.

As you make your way to the living room, Luna has laid out breakfast for two, already dressed up to leave for work.

“Good morn– wow,” she raises her eyebrows as she looks at your tired face.

“What?” you ask as you rub your eyes.

“Did you not sleep last night?”

“I did… not very well though,” you yawn as you sit on one of the chairs.

“Eat. You’ll feel better,” she hands you a plate of her famous omelette and toast.

You like being babied by Luna like this – something she had been doing for the past 4 days. You smile at her, the gratitude visible in your teary eyes.

“Has he talked to you yet?” she asks you. You shake your head, stuffing your mouth with the delicious food.

“He’s been acting weird all week… I asked Satoru but he doesn’t have a clue either… Was Choso really that affected by the Suguru thing?” Luna wonders.

“Damned if I knew,” you mumble. It was Thursday and Choso had successfully avoided you the whole week – speaking only when necessary and diligently skipping the smoke and coffee breaks at work.

“Just talk to him. I kinda feel bad that I was the one who started the lie,” Luna sighs.

“No… I’m just giving him space. He can talk to me whenever he wants,” you shrug, making the weakest excuse. In reality, you were worried about rejection for real this time. You were way too familiar with the telltale signs of an incoming heartbreak.

“I’m not home tonight so call him over,” Luna insists.

“Where are you going?” you ask.

“Satoru invited me over for movie night,” she giggles and you raise your eyebrows.

“Are you guys–”

“Nothing serious. We’re both hot and horny so we figured, why not?”

“Since when?” you enquire further, surprise visible on your face.

“I didn’t wanna bother you as it wasn’t anything important. You’ve not been exactly– you know… with this whole Choso Suguru ordeal,” she confesses.

“I’m sorry… I feel selfish for not even checking up on you sooner,” you apologise. 

“It’s fine. We can gossip later. Just sort it out tonight,” she smiles at you. 

You get up off your chair, swallowing the last bite hurriedly, and move closer to give her a kiss on the cheek, “Yes mother.”

“Now go get ready… you woke up really late,” Luna checks her phone for the time.

“Actually, I asked them to let me work from home for today,” you admit, guilt lacing your voice.

“Oh my god! You’re trying to avoid him too!” she gasps. You groan as you collapse on the sofa. 

She grabs her things to leave, shooting a warning glance your way, “Tonight. Do it tonight!”

After you hear the door close when Luna leaves, you lie still for another 5 minutes, staring at the ceiling. You check your phone for the time – you had 15 minutes to log in for the day. 

You lock your screen as you sit up, only to hastily open it again to send a text that was way overdue before making your way to the bathroom.

You: stop avoiding me. Come to my house after work.

The minute you’re done with your shower, you run straight to your phone, with your towel still wrapped around you as tiny drops of water drip on the floor where you stand. You open his chat to see what he had replied.

Cho <3: Ok.

Jeez. So dry.

You sigh as you throw your phone to the side and get ready for work. The quicker you finished your tasks for the day, the more time you’d have to prepare what you wanted to say to Choso.

The rest of your day is pretty ordinary. Focusing solely on work pays off when you finish everything by 5pm, with another hour left to log out. It’s only when your stomach growls loudly that you realise how hungry you’d been since you skipped lunch.

And that’s how the last hour goes by, cooking pasta from scratch and feasting on it all till you’d licked the whole dish clean. When the anxiety starts stirring up, you clean and dust the whole house to keep yourself occupied.

You check your phone again. There’s no text from Choso but it’s 30 minutes past office time so you figure he might be on his way. You take a quick hot shower to relax yourself and your doorbell rings right as you finish dressing up.

Stumbling on your feet as you quickly pull up your sweatpants, you run to the door. You take a deep breath before swinging the door open.

“Hi,” you smile at Choso, a sense of relief washing over because you’d half expected him to make some excuse and avoid coming over tonight.

“Hi,” he smiles back awkwardly. You’re about to invite him in when you see Suguru walk to his door with four huge grocery bags in both hands.

He has his phone pressed in between his ear and his shoulder. “Right… hmm, okay. That’ll work too i guess…” he continues speaking to someone on the other end. You wonder if he ignores you two to not make it awkward but your doubt is cleared up as soon as he mouths a ‘hi’ with a bright smile, still trying to wave at you with occupied hands.

Suguru looks so funny you almost let out a laugh but manage to hold yourself back, simply waving back at him. Suguru doesn’t bother looking at Choso, actively avoiding him as he quickly unlocks the door to his apartment, leaving the two of you alone again.

You refocus your attention on Choso once again, whose face isn’t as relaxed as it was moments ago.

“Come in,” you move to the side to make way for him but he doesn’t enter. 

Instead he holds up the key in his hand, waving it in front of you, “Wanna go out for a ride instead? The weather’s nice.”

Your face lights up at the idea. You excuse yourself to quickly grab your phone, house keys and shoes as you follow behind him, making your way to his bike in the parking lot.

“I see you got your bike back from Satoru,” you make conversation as he puts on his helmet.

“Yeah… took forever to get his car repaired,” he chuckles. He turns to you to put the spare helmet on your head.

“How did you know I'd agree?” you ask him as he fastens the helmet securely on your head.

“I didn’t,” he looks at your face briefly before getting on the bike, “I was contemplating it myself.”

“So technically I can still say no and go back upstairs?” you question, your soul itching for answers.

“Yea, but I know you won’t,” he smiles as he waits for you, “Cause I know you.”

You feel annoyed. He’s not wrong. You agreed for the ride without even thinking about it.

You climb up as you sit at the edge, maintaining a gap between your bodies, “Then do you know how I’m feeling right now?”

“Annoyed,” he answers.

“Correct.”

He grabs your wrists, guiding them around his waist, pulling you closer to eliminate the space between, “Hold tight. Let’s get you some ice cream first.”

Your cheeks grow warm as you hug him tight from behind. 

How can you be mad at him when he knows a hundred different ways to make you melt?

You ride in silence, the evening air dancing on your skin and you close your eyes as he speeds away on the open highway, taking the long route to your destination. 

It’s so simple and mundane, yet not being locked up in your room makes you feel a lot calmer than you were a few hours ago. 

Although you try hard to deny it to keep yourself from feeling so emotionally dependent – in reality, your mood changed the moment Choso had pulled you closer, his scent infiltrating your senses completely.

You open your eyes when you sense him park the bike. He gently takes off your helmet when you get off and you smoothen out your hair while he takes his off.

It’s only when you both sit in a corner of the cafe with your ice creams when he finally speaks up, “I was surprised to not see you at the office today.”

“I felt tired so I decided to work from home,” you answer.

“I know,” he says and you wait for him to continue, “Lu told me.”

You nod as you enjoy your ice cream in silence. He does the same. 

“So…” you begin.

“I got jealous,” he cuts you off as he admits before you even think up a question.

“Oh,” you don’t know what else to say. Admittedly, you wanted to bring up the kiss first. But by the looks of it, he was skipping over it, so you decided that you would too.

“Are you sure you're over him?” Choso suddenly asks.

“What?” you ask confused.

“Suguru.”

“Yes! Why wouldn't I be?” you frown.

“Well it’s only been like what… 3-4 weeks since the breakup? And now he’s your neighbour too,” he lays out his logic… which wouldn’t make sense if only he knew the truth.

Right. About time you confess and set things straight!

But you couldn’t help but feel pathetic in this situation. The lie has been blown so out of proportion that each time you wish to speak, it feels as if you’d puke instead.

“I dont want to fuck things up between us,” he explains further and the words have a familiar ring to them from once upon a time ago.

In that moment, you realise not once has he explicitly mentioned that he likes you more than friends are supposed to and that scares you. This feeling’s familiar – actions can sometimes trick you more than words. 

Confessions are different; they’re set in stone. ‘I like you’ can only be interpreted in one way, whereas a kiss, or in this case an almost kiss, can have multiple implications. So you bite your tongue once again.

“I don’t want to be just a rebound. I don’t want you to regret us,” he sighs.

“Trust me, you have no reason to be jealous, Cho— ah, shit!,” you fan your mouth as if it can help the brain freeze. Without even realising it, you’d taken a huge bite out of the ice cream while being lost in your thoughts.  

Choso laughs as he sees you shake your head.

“Am I getting old so soon?” you chuckle when it passes, “My tongue’s heavy already! I could easily eat 10 of these.” 

“Would you like to try mine?” he offers as he holds his spoon closer to your mouth. You nod immediately and he feeds you. You put your thumb up in approval.

“Wanna try this?” you ask and it’s your turn to move your cone closer to his mouth. 

He brings his hand over yours, warm fingers wrapping around your cold ones as he guides the cone closer to his face. He leans forward to lick the melting ice cream and you wonder if he’s the one doing it so seductively or if it’s your head that’s always in the gutter.

“Better than mine,” he comments and you simply nod with a smile. Silence falls over again but it’s not as uncomfortable as before. When you’re done, you ride back home, taking the longer route once again.

When you reach the parking lot, you talk about work and other insignificant things. He’s taken off his helmet along with yours, as he leans against the parked bike. You wonder if it’s a sign that he wants you to invite him up.

“Cho,” you almost mumble.

“Yes?” he asks, folding his hands to his chest and you can see the outline of his biceps through the thin cotton shirt. You tear your eyes away from his body to stare into his eyes instead.

“Just don’t ghost me again,” you warn him, “I hate it. Whatever it is, just talk to me.”

“How can I ghost you? My day’s incomplete without seeing your cute face,” he smiles.

“Right, as if I believe you now!” you roll your eyes, making him laugh.

“I’m sorry,” he extends his hands out to hold yours, pulling you a step closer towards him.

You look down at your hands as you bite your lip in contemplation, trying to form a proper sentence to invite him upstairs. He calls out your name to grab your attention. You look up at him again.

“Let's take it slow?” Choso asks.

Oh.

“Okay,” you nod.

“Okay,” he smiles as he squeezes your hands.

“How about now?” you joke.

He laughs as he shakes his head, “Stop being so cute.”

You blush at his words but still sigh as your tone gets more sincere, “but okay, I understand.”

“Oh! By the way, I'm going home for the weekend. Just saying, I’m not ghosting you again. Might even miss you… just a little bit,” he grins.

“I won’t miss you at all!” you tease back, “Good night Cho.”

Choso laughs again as he stands up straight to encase you into a hug. His arms snake around your waist as he buries his head in the crook of your neck. Your hands rest on his chest as you feel him inhale your scent softly.

“Cho, it tickles,” you giggle but don’t push him away. Instead you slide your hands up his shoulders.

“You make it so fucking hard for me to control myself,” he mumbles so quietly that you almost miss it. 

“You know… Lu’s not home tonight,” you whisper as you hesitantly wrap your arms around his neck.

He takes a moment to speak up as you lazily caress the back of his head.

“Slow,” he scolds.

“You totally considered it for a second!” you gasp.

“Shhh,” his face is still buried against your neck as his arms wrap around your waist even tighter. You feel goosebumps all over your skin when he pecks the corner of your jaw softly, “Good night.”

Before you realise it, he releases you from his hold, quickly hopping on his bike, ready to leave. He turns to look at you once again and you wave at him as he exits the parking lot.

When he’s out of sight, you turn around to walk up to your apartment. As you walk back in a haze, you decide that you would come clean about the lie and confess your feelings when he returns on Monday. 

For better or for worse – you had made up your mind to rip the concrete band-aid off once and for all.

~to be continued~

[hiveworks]

Convention Guide: Basic Tabling Gear

September 2023

Whether you’re an artist alley newbie or you’ve been doing the convention circuit for years, putting together your table essentials is a crucial part of selling your wares at events and ensuring your weekend goes smoothly. In this guide, we’re covering the basics of setting up your first ever table.

This list is a non comprehensive assessment of things a tabler might need and should be used as a simple starting point. The four main categories we will cover are:

The Display

Behind the Table

Money

Quality of Life Suggestions

—🐝—

1. The Display

a) Tablecloth

Starting from the base layer, we’ve got tablecloths– an easy way to add some color and personality to your table. Your tablecloth doesn’t even have to be an actual tablecloth! You can use a length of fabric cut from a bolt at your local craft store. Convention tables tend to be 6’ long, so when selecting your fabric, look for measurements longer than 72” (183cm).

Play with color and texture to find something that fits the theme of your work on display. Patterns can be fun, but might distract from your inventory or signage if the colors/design are too bold and busy. Tip: your cloth may get messy from food behind the scenes or dust/dirt if you do outdoor events. Get something that’s easy to wash in your machine!

b) Display supports

Most artists these days use cube organizers that break apart into flat panels and connector joints. They are easy to store when not in use, easy to transport in a suitcase or tote, and you can change the shape depending on your table set up and inventory. Tip: constructing your display to include shelves that face you behind the table helps organize your backstock during the show.

These cubes aren’t your only option. Some people use milk crates, picture frames, wooden boxes, custom built shelves, etc. Consider what works best for you, your aesthetic, and your storage/transportation needs. When in doubt, you can always lay your goods flat on the table.

c) Signage

Having clear signage on your items to denote price helps people feel more comfortable purchasing from your table. Your price markers don’t have to be fancy. Prices written neatly on pieces of paper and paperclipped to your books or taped up next to your stickers is a simple and effective strategy. Some people print out a price list or use a sign board. It’s totally up to you!

Include a sign with your name somewhere in your display, including your social media handle if it is different from your artist name. This will help fans of your work more easily recognize you. Tip: use a QR code prominently displayed on your table that links to your portfolio, linktree, etc.

d) Banner/backdrop

Look out behind you! Whether it’s a banner, a backdrop, or something else, the space behind your seat can be put to use. While it is relatively easy to print custom banners at most print shops, many tablers cite this as an unnecessary expense, especially for first time artist alley participants. If you’d like to hang a collage of your work behind you, look for photography backdrop tripods, which can collapse and fold up neatly. The behind-the-table space is shared with other artists, and it can get cramped. Be mindful of your needs when deciding how to do a backdrop. Some artists opt to exclude a backdrop and just use their cubes to arch over them.

Optional: Decorate your table! Flowers, string lights, plushies, etc. can all bring a special one of a kind experience to your set up.

2. Behind The Table

a) Inventory

Now that we’re behind the table, let’s talk about what’s going on back here. Starting with inventory. If you’re absolutely unsure how much to bring, a good starting number is about 10 of each item. If you sell out, congratulations! You’ll know what to bring more of next time, or you’ll know you should raise your prices. For storing inventory during transportation to the con and while at the show, you might consider simple boxes, an accordion folder, or a portfolio case, depending on what kind of items you’re bringing. Reminder: if you’re using display cubes, structuring them to give you shelves on your side of the table will help you keep things organized.

b) Suitcase/storage tote

Under your feet will be your suitcase/tote box, and perhaps a dolly, if you used one to wheel your boxes into the building. It is recommended that your suitcase/tote has a lock on it, as you’ll be leaving inventory overnight. Hopefully no matter what you use, it has wheels of some kind. All this gear gets heavy. If you are not using a wheeled device, make sure to check your pack’s weight as you assemble your supplies. You will have to carry it from the parking garage or bus stop through the convention center, and back out again at the end of the show.

c) Cover cloth

What else is in that box? Your cover cloth. This one is optional, but some artists like having a lightweight cloth to cover their table when the day is done. Something like a vinyl picnic tablecloth works perfectly. The cover cloth helps prevent anyone from accidentally knocking your things over or having things go missing.

d) Business cards

On your side of the table, you ought to have plenty of back up business cards. You’ll have some of these out on the table for passersby to pick up, but this item is the number one thing you’re going to hand out the most of. It’s always better to have too many rather than too few. For a single three day convention, you might need 200+ cards. Make sure your website/online shop is easy to find on your cards. Cute business cards go a long way to making your table memorable long after the con has ended.

Bonus supplies: Here’s a short list of things you might need throughout the weekend to touch up your display. Keep them in a bag and bring them with you every time you table!

Masking and clear tape

Spare paper for impromptu signage

Sharpies and pens

Zip ties

Scissors

3. Money

a) Card reader

The most commonly used card reader is Square, but there are alternatives. Research their fees and prices to determine what fits your needs. You’ll want to get a hold of a card reader and set up your account well in advance of your show. Card readers require wifi/data to work and will only work in your country of business, so take that into consideration when packing for your show. Most convention halls have wifi (sometimes at a cost), but if your show is outdoors you might be relying on data.

b) Cash/change

Cash is king! Make sure to bring enough cash/change for your show. About $25-50 in small bills is usually enough if you’re also accepting card. At the end of the day, consider tucking your big bills away in a secure location in your hotel room. If something were to happen to your bag, you’ll appreciate not having your entire weekend’s earnings in it!

c) Fanny pack

Keeping your cash attached to you at all times is smart. People often use fanny packs or cross body bags to manage their money.

4. Quality of Life

a) Backup battery

Since you may be using your phone to complete transactions, or maybe you’re drawing on your iPad with time to kill, you’ll want to bring a back up battery. Most tables don’t have access to electricity, so having a battery and charging cables is a good idea.

b) Hand sanitizer & masks

One hand sani pump out front and one behind the table. You’ll be handling money, shaking hands with strangers, and touching surfaces that thousands of people have been touching all day. As long as there have been conventions, there have been con plagues. You don’t want to get knocked out with a cold (or worse) so masking is great!

c) Table buddy

If you’re able to, bring a friend to help you table. Cons will often give tablers 2 passes (one for you and one for a friend). They can help you grab coffee or lunch, get change, package a big purchase, cover you for bathroom breaks, etc. Table buddies are truly the unsung heroes of artist alley.

d) No table buddy? No problem.

Check in with con staff and volunteers. Many comic cons will have a green room for artists to take a snack break and decompress, and con staff will help guide you there. Some conventions also enlist volunteers to help sit your table while you’re away. They’ll make sure your table stays in order, direct people to your business cards, and inform curious patrons when to expect you back.

e) Fun stuff!

There will be plenty of downtime. Con hours are long and often slow in the mornings. Bring something to keep you occupied, but not too engrossed, so you can easily pull away to greet customers and fans. Fidget toys, a puzzle book, knitting or crochet project are all great ideas.

f) Get Comfy, Eat Well, Stay Hydrated

Going from your quiet desk to the high octane energy of artist alley can be a shock to the system. Some items to help reduce the fatigue are: noise canceling headphones during downtime and breaks, sunglasses to combat the fluorescent lights and rest your eyes, slippers or comfy shoes for under the table, and layers of clothing. Convention halls can fluctuate temperatures wildly. With lots of AC during the summer, sweaty crowds, and the flow of traffic to your table, you’ll be working up a sweat fulfilling transactions one second then freezing after sitting still for a minute.

Most importantly, have a small cooler with snacks and drinks. You may not get a break, but it’s important to stay hydrated and energized.

—🐝—

The next time you're at a convention, take note of displays that inspire you. #ArtistAlley and #ConTable tags on Instagram or TikTok can connect you with creators sharing their setups. Your table design is an opportunity to be creative and express yourself, while also learning along the way what works for you. Most tables, however, are built up over several convention seasons of trial and error, so while it’s good to take note of others' displays as a source of inspiration, try to keep your first table relatively simple. The more you table, the more you’ll be able to identify your needs for you and your merchandise.

We’ll close out this blog post with one final suggestion. Big, multi-day conventions can be fun, but they can also be expensive. Your tabling supplies and inventory aside, if you’re doing a show away from home, you’ll contend with table fees (often $250-450 USD), hotel, transportation, meals, etc. And not every convention is a good fit for your wares! Small, local events and art festivals are a great, low stakes, relatively cheap (or free) way to start tabling. Check your area for zine fests, queer makers markets, and craft fairs.

Sound off if there’s anything we missed! Good luck on your tabling adventures.

[worstgirleva]

> Madot-Awl and A1

Your name is Madot-Awl and the robot that serves you is called A1, named after a particular brand of sauce you fancy. As it was stated you are an engineer, specifically a literatech engineer. One that focuses on the type of machinery powered by this highly volatile substance extracted from the Spine itself: Gutter.

A1, the robot that follows you is a Bound Machine Instigated by Literature, your BESTIE. She is quite useful if you can ignore her curiosity and eagerness to question your orders.

Your companions can never agree where to go, so you quickly detached yourself from them when you arrived in the town Maladapted Malaise and prowled towards the nearest library to see if there was anything interesting in here.

You fear they may be such, but not that you learned that from any books.

You fear calling A1 inside may have been a mistake as the concerned citizens inside may use it as a justification to call law enforcement. You need to see if you can get any information now and get out of here.

You Gather Information.

Gather Information

When you go to a library, museum, relevant place or simply the internet to gather information about the place or situation you’re currently in: roll with Mind.

On a 10 and above: You learn useful information about the place and situation you’re currently in. Gain a resource.

On a 7 to 9: The information is incomplete, ominous or someone will bother and follow you the whole time. Gain a resource and tell what goes wrong.

On a 6 and below: You have a miss. The information you’re looking for has been purposefully hidden or someone takes action to stop you from reaching it.

You roll a 6 and a 2. Combined with your +2 to Mind that is a total of 10, a full success.

You’re not an idiot to look at books when all the information you need is right in front of you: your beloved audience.

They’re afraid of you, afraid to be next to you, like you’re hazardous and being too close to you could burn their skin.

You weren’t even that surprised when someone started recording A1, she is a novelty to a many, but what interested you was the fact that only about 15% of the people present had phones to begin with.

And lastly, many shelves were empty of books and full of dust. You don’t need a degree in literatech engineering to figure out the result of the sum of these variables, but you do have one, and the result is exactly the following number: Tyranny.

You get +1 resource.

MADOT: A1, we’re leaving.

A1: Are you sure? You didn’t finish your book.

MADOT: The plot was boring and I already figured out the ending.

A1: Your intelligence always amazes me Madot.

A1: You could even find a plot in an encyclopedia about local birds!

A1: Is the fact we’re leaving by the backdoor related to that?

MADOT: Yeah, that encyclopedia just made me want to see things in a different perspective.

A1: Does avoiding the hero that will enter the library in a minute is related to that?

MADOT: I’m sure they’re also just very interested in local birds.

MADOT: Since you brought up the subject, tell me if any other heroes are close by.

A1: Of course Madot. May I ask why?

MADOT: It’s just that the bird I’m looking for hates heroes and will fly away if it sees one.

A1: Fascinating! I don’t remember seeing that one in the book you were reading.

MADOT: You gotta learn to read between the lines.

MADOT: See the statements absence makes.

A1: Hmm. My vision can be hundreds of times better than the average person, and yet I don’t remember seeing any ink between the lines.

MADOT: Maybe once you can see a thousand times better you will understand what I’m talking about.

As you walk forward you think about the fact that those who defend the law have called themselves many things over the ages, but in the modern era of the Unfamiliar Imagination chapter they call themselves heroes. The ultimate protectors of the status quo, those who fight so things may remain as they are, and so that the power of tyrants may remain absolute.

There are laws, and those who break the law must be punished. Now just try to pretend that laws aren’t most often made by those in power so that they may remain in power.

Your mouth waters. Deposing tyrants is one of the most common ways adventurers become stars, and who doesn’t want to be a star?

What do you do?

Madot still needs to do another downtime action before proper play can start, for reference, this is the list of downtime actions. As much as she loves research, she cannot go for any more information gathering.

Go For a Drink.

Gather Information

Make Connections

Go Where You Shouldn’t.

Visit a Shrine

Go Shopping

Read from the beginning.

[beyondthetemples-ooc]

Mildly annoyed at my body.

Probably venting. Mostly complaining. Some medical talk.

I kinda want to get a second shift job, but I just got a raise and starting this month, I will be making really good money. Like, double minimum wage money. I don't think I'll be finding that wage anywhere else with no college degree and only 5 years of office experience...

I want to put more of my books on the shelves, the ones still boxed in the living room and the basement. Go through the comics I probably have no real attachment to, maybe offer them up somewhere. Put the books I keep thinking about that somehow didn't get their boxes marked "FAVE" and thus weren't put upstairs when I moved. They're in the basement. I KNOW I have more books by my favorite author. I've been wanting to reread the ones I haven't unpacked.

But I just ate. I can't go up and down the stairs, let alone carrying 2+ boxes and unpacking them. Not to mention, some of them are practically buried in others' boxes... I can't exert myself by moving them around, either. I might be able to reach the ones by the shoe rack, but I don't remember. I can't stand up and bend over to look.

For my stomach AND my back reasons. Ever since I had the neurology appointment, during which they twisted me in ways that made my mostly-fine back start hurting at a Level of 5/10 Again, and when I said it started hurting they kept twisting and asked if it still hurt. Yes! Fuck yes, it hurt WORSE!

And it still hasn't entirely calmed down. The pain now is worse than it was before the appointment. Even two weeks later (or is it three?). Even with lidocaine patches and muscle relaxers. They want me to start steroid shots. (And do physical therapy again, but I already spent most of my PTO built up this year on Sisu's vet appointment and my teeth. I need to build up more hours for things in April, a concert road trip and taking the day of the solar eclipse off because I absolutely REFUSE to miss the eclipse, when I live conveniently RIGHT in the path of totality! I can't take 4 hours off work every week because the PT only has appointments during my work schedule.)

I need to do at-home physical therapy exercises more often anyways, but I can't lay down (let alone lay on my side for 10 minutes) after eating, and by the time my stomach's done making me uncomfortably aware of the food I've eaten, I need to go to sleep.

And tomorrow, I want to watch some panels at an online convention and go grocery shopping and clean the pet cages and shower. Maybe sweep my room and do dishes. I'm still debating if I want to wake up at 10am for a panel on something I've often wondered about (thanks in large part to the name of a roller coaster at Cedar Point), but that will sacrifice about 4 hours of sleep.

Precious sleep. Which is ALWAYS a struggle working first shift. When I worked 3pm to 11pm, I slept for 9 hours every night, no problem. (I was constantly exhausted for Other reasons, but sleep wasn't the problem.) But working first shift? I have to fight my body tooth, nail, and pharmaceuticals to get it asleep before 11pm. Half the time it doesn't happen. The meds make me sleepy, but won't KEEP me asleep.

I take melatonin, L-theanine, herbal supplements (valerian and lemon balm and passionflower and lavender), magnesium citrate, and an anti-depressant and muscle relaxer, all in the desperate hopes that I MIGHT be able to sleep for 8 hours a night. (I struggle with delayed circadian disorder. It's not insomnia, because I can easily fall asleep and stay asleep if it's within my body's natural circadian rhythm. Sleeping about 1-3am, waking about 10:am to noon.)

It isn't the ADHD meds that keep me awake because, once again, due to my stomach being a Little Bitch^tm, I can only take them when I'm having Really Good Days with my stomach. Which is, at most, about 1 in 5 days. It's rare that I CAN take them 2x a week. Let alone every day.

At the core of it, if I didn't work 40 hours a week and didn't have to ride a bus for an hour each way to and from work and didn't have to wake up at 7am every day, I'd have more time and more sleep to endure and work around my stomach's issue with Being Active After Eating, and work around Needing to Sleep or I feel Dead On My Feet.

....though with the raise, maybe I'll be able to get my temps again, and once I get my license, have the budget to start paying for gas and parking downtown...? I figure that's another $200/month, at least, but even if I break even with what my cashflow is NOW, I'd get about 80 minutes of my life back every day. That actually sounds really nice...

But currently, as it stands, my schedule is perpetually packed and my body is perpetually fighting me on doing Anything Ever. =_= Not to mention, the ADHD making it really hard to overcome that executive dysfunction...

It's just frustrating, wanting to do So Much but needing 2 weeks to recover my social battery after being at a wedding for 5 hours. I can't catch up on sleep when my duplex neighbors are massive inconsiderate assholes who blast music every Saturday morning. I want to wake up a little early to hear a really interesting topic discussion tomorrow, but it comes at the cost of spending the entire next week exhausted from sleep deprivation.

Where's the Quality of Life when the amount of life you can live is so small, you can't fit a lot of Doing Things in it anyways?

Worst of all, I've been too exhausted to write, whether that's roleplaying or fic. I'm lucky if I can come up with 5 words for my Pokemon character to tag on a blog post. I can't come up with New Things Happening very often. I really desperately want to continue some Old RPs with Dove, but my brain is fried mush. It's burnt on the outside and just a gooey mess on the inside. I can't jog it enough to Imagine New Things.

I'm not exactly depressive. I'm having fun at the convention this weekend! I'm glad for the 5 words I can scrouge up on the Pokemon RP blog! I'm eating good food and stealing every minute of personal time I can get! I'm watching Teen Titans and ATLA with my roommates once a week! I only have minor complaints with my actual job duties! It's not All bad.

I'm just frustrated that working 40 hours a week is so fucking much to work around that it's a chore all its own to try fitting my life around it without sacrificing sleep health.

Fuck capitalism.

[moderncryptid]

So I saw @itrin do this from wisteria-logde’s post and it made me want to eat a pound of sand with a fork so naturally i had to do one about the pathetic little man Damien Bright Sessions also. 

1. What is the character’s go-to drink order? Normal drink: this man loves hot chocolate and will never tell anyone. Wants people to think he’s drinking coffee so they do. His favorite alcoholic drink is scotch. He keeps trying to convince himself that he likes beer but he’s never gotten more than a few sips in before going this sucks actually and not touching it again for a few months. Until he wants to seem cool again and orders another beer for the cycle to repeat itself.

2. What is their grooming routine? It depends. If it’s just him? Bare minimum. He showers so he doesn’t feel gross and never shaves every day and usually has messy hair or hair that’s grown out for too long from one of his diy hotel bathroom mirror cuts that he keeps meaning to give himself again but it’s a pain in the ass so.... But. If he’s around people like a Mark situation he gets kind of self-consious and puts in way too much effort while also trying to look like he doesn’t give a shit. Like he’ll shower in the morning and at night and he tries to make his hair look mostly okay and has this shitty eyeliner that he either thinks looks cool or dumb he really can’t decide but overall he can’t pick a middle ground.

3. What was their most expensive purchase/where does their disposable income go? Books baybe. When he has an actual job he builds one hell of a floor library because he doesn’t invest in actual shelves.

4. Do they have any scars of tattoos? Thinks a tattoo would be cool but if he’s in pain and doesn’t want to be the artist won’t touch him even if he knows it’s kind of a requirement but abilities are complicated so. Yeah. Has quite a few scars though. Mostly on his hands from having to learn to do a lot of things himself and doing them very badly at the start. 

5. What was the last time they cried, and under what circumstances? Oh boy Damien is kind of an emotional dude as much as he loathes that fact. He’s the kind of person who can’t feel anything too strongly without tearing up. Happiness (which doesn’t really happen rip), sadness, anger- all of it starts making his throat tight once he gets too worked up and he can feel it and he hates it so he tries to remain very detatched in the Damien-sona. Like who cares, you know? 

6. Are they an oldest, middle, youngest or only child? Only child. His parents were considering having another but decided against it and he has no idea if it had anything to do with how he turned out.

7. Describe the shoes they’re wearing. Classic black converse that are beat to hell. He thinks they look cooler that way.

8.Describe the place where they sleep. He can sleep just about anywhere but after leaving Ithica he doesn’t like to sleep in a quiet room or one that’s completley dark. He likes to have a light on somewhere he can see it and either has the tv playing super low or plays music on his phone. 

9. What is their favorite holiday? He loves the idea of Christmas. Like there’s a reason he cannonically gets drunk on that day and tries to talk to people as himself. But he doesn’t like the reality which is being made very, VERY aware of how alone he is. He’s also one of those people who rolls their eyes and scoffs at the Valentine’s day thing and will not shut up about how lame it is but does actually kind of hope he’ll be able to participate just once because it’s stupid and dumb but maybe someone loving you isn’t totally stupid and dumb. (This is information you could not get out of him at gunpoint). 

10. What objects do they always carry around with them?  A black pen/sharpie because he is a menace and likes to write things in the books he’s reading/adds to graffiti when he finds it. Both feel like talking to someone in a roundabout way.

[prettyquickpoetry]

congrats on your book that’s so awesome!!!!! publishing is something that is far far in the future for me-have to finish actually writing the book first-but i still like to daydream about it lol. in some of the other asks you said that publishing wider in multiple markets via ingramspark and draft2digital ended up not being worth it. can i ask if there were any particular reasons why??

Hey there!!

Yep, when I first published my first book, I set up paperbacks and the ebook through Amazon KDP only to be sold on Amazon. Then I used Ingramspark and Draft2Digital for the paperbacks and ebooks sold everywhere else, respectively.

Ingramspark vs Amazon

Upload

KDP is free to upload. Ingramspark charges $25 for cover uploads and $25 for body uploads… each time. I paid $100 because I uploaded the wrong files first.

Quality/Appearance

KDP has great paperbacks for the best price. For 5.25 x 8” and 366 pages, I pay $5.19 per book, not including shipping.

They don’t have great quality control however, and one shipment had glue goo all over most of the books, but I was able to get a full refund for each copy I returned. When they get it right though, the books look great.

Ingramspark was pretty good, but the colors were dull and the paper was thinner. They are also ~1.50 more expensive per book at my length and trim size.

Another minor thing is that KDP adds an ugly watermark to proof copies, while Ingramspark sends you the actual book that would be sold.

Selling/Marketing

Bookstores will not shelve your books unless they are returnable. Then you run the risk of having to pay back every dime you made from their order (and THEN SOME if you choose to have the books shipped back to you rather than destroyed).

If you still want to try, Ingramspark is the only service that can make your books returnable. It sells your book using the same network that actual publishing houses use.

You have to set a wholesale discount. The standard is 55% off. Then Ingramspark pushes your paperback onto all retailers’ websites, and when someone orders off their site, you get a whopping… $1-2.

Well, then how about indie bookstores? Maybe they’ll shelve it. Nope, not through Ingramspark. I emailed ~25 bookstores and included my ISBN so they could order from Ingramspark. Instead of the 55% discount I set, they were only able to order at a 10% discount… $1.80 off. Ingramspark takes a bigger cut based on the store’s partnership/contract, and the indie stores get the worst deal.

I sold 4 copies through Ingramspark since 10/11/22, which is about $5. In my opinion and my experience, Ingramspark is not worth it for beginning publishers.

With Amazon, I make ~$5 per copy sold, the books themselves are better quality, and most people shop on there. It is an evil corporation, yes, but when it comes to author careers, it’s the best option.

How about ebooks?

Draft2Digital is a fantastic free service, but making my ebook wide didn’t pay off for me. I have only sold Kindle copies, so I pulled my wide ebooks and enrolled in Kindle Select which allows Kindle Unlimited subscribers to download, and I get paid by page read.

Draft2Digital is still useful though—you can upload your book for free, format it, and even use their premade chapter heading/scene break designs. Then you can download it as a pdf, mobi, or epub that you can upload to another service. That’s totally acceptable, and not against their terms of service at all.

Conclusion

For future books, I will be using Amazon KDP with global distribution for paperbacks, and Kindle Select for ebooks.

My experience may not be yours though! I urge you to do your own research and make these choices for yourself! You can always change your mind like I did.

[internationalrealestatenews]

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[whoslaurapalmer]

unrecommending you Sixteen Scandals by Sophie Jordan — i bought this book. the full priced, beautiful hardcover, with promising book jacket ! and ,,, i wanted to like this story so bad, but it reads like a thirteen year old’s bridgerton self insert. which is fine, if it hadn’t been in the adult section of the book store ?? marketed beside the dramatic romances ? the characters would be like-able, but the plot moves so quickly, from a pub to bear wrestling to kissing in the bushes, that ?? you can’t keep up. the bear wrestling really comes out of left field and ??? it unfortunately is the one bit of the book that has stuck with me, like what was she trying to say ? then they make out, after the bear wrestling ??? is that normal ? it references John Hughes’ classic only in name, and leaves you wishing you did spend the afternoon watching Sixteen Candles. which is a total bummer, because the story beats in SC are timeless ! and would have translated into a good regency story, but no ! this book is overall a bad case of good idea, bad execution. great cover though. 2/10

noooooo!!!!!!! oh my god it sounds so PROMISING. bear wrestling!!! oh i'm so upset. I hate when a book is full of potential and especially when it's GORGEOUS and then just fails, over and over. also sounds like that book store has gotta shelve better

[bookpublisher1]

10 Things You Did Not Know About Book Publishing

If you're an aspiring author or just curious about the publishing industry, there are a few things you might not know about book publishing. In this post, we'll take a closer look at 10 surprising facts that will give you a better understanding of the book publishing industry.

1- Publishers only accept a small percentage of book submissions

If you're an aspiring author, you might think that publishers are eager to accept every manuscript that comes their way. However, this is far from the truth. In fact, publishers only accept a small percentage of book submissions. This is because they receive a large number of submissions and only have limited resources to review them all.

2- It can take years to get a book published

Even if your book is accepted by a publisher, it can take years before it actually hits the shelves. The publishing process involves several stages, including editing, design, and printing. Each of these stages takes time, and the timeline can be affected by a variety of factors, such as the availability of resources and the complexity of the book.

3- The author is responsible for promoting their book

Contrary to popular belief, publishers don't do all the marketing for a book. In fact, authors are responsible for promoting their book and building their own audience.Even if you  Hire a Book Coach, it’s totally you who will have to promote the artwork. This is why many successful authors have a strong online presence and engage with their readers on social media.

4- The cover design is crucial

The saying "don't judge a book by its cover" may be true, but the cover design is still crucial for the success of a book. A well-designed cover can make a book stand out on the shelf and attract potential readers.

5- E-books are becoming more popular

While print books are still popular, e-books are becoming more and more popular. In fact, e-books now account for a significant percentage of book sales. This is why publishers are now offering e-book versions of their titles.

6- Self-publishing is an option

If you're an aspiring author, you don't necessarily have to go through a traditional publisher to get your book out there. Self-publishing is becoming increasingly popular, thanks to platforms like Brave Healer Publishing where you can get access to Free Resources for Writers.

7- Audio books are on the rise

Audio books are also becoming more popular, thanks to the rise of audiobook platforms. This is why many publishers are now offering audio versions of their titles.

8- The publishing industry is changing

The publishing industry is changing rapidly, thanks to advances in technology and changes in consumer behavior. This means that publishers need to be adaptable and open to new ideas in order to stay relevant.

9- Bookstores are still important

Despite the rise of e-books and online book sales, bookstores are still important for the publishing industry. Brave Healer provide a physical space for readers to browse and discover new books, and they also play an important role in building communities around books.

10- It's a competitive industry

The Book Publishing industry is a highly competitive industry, with many publishers vying for the attention of readers. This means that authors need to work hard to make their book stand out and publishers need to be selective about the books they choose to publish.

In conclusion, these 10 surprising facts about book publishing demonstrate that the industry is constantly evolving and that there are many factors that go into the success of a book. Whether you're an aspiring author or just a book lover, it's important to have a good understanding of the publishing industry in order to appreciate the hard work that goes into bringing a book to life.

[to-star-lake]

in the early days when you joined bonten as their new advisor, you spent a lot of time with koko; drawing up business plans, managing the books, overseeing construction on new clubs and buildings.

koko had the nicest office of all of the bonten leaders. it was on the top floor of a highrise in the middle of the shibuya business district. complete with high-end leather and mahogany furniture, and a gorgeous city view.

you'd spent time with each of the bonten executives when you joined and koko was probably your favorite to work with. you found takeomi too serious, kakucho boorish, mochi too macho, the haitani's were exhausting, and sanzu..well..

koko was like you; blunt and efficient with work, a little impatient, maybe a little condescending. you enjoyed your daily work with him in his office. it was always quiet, productive, and his assistants always served the best sencha.

except today.

today when you walked in through the mahogany double doors that led to his office, you were almost decked in the face by a toy rubber basketball.

"he shoots! he scores? no! he misses!" you heard a voice yell, followed by a maniacal cackling.

what...the hell is this? the floor of koko's office, which was normally clean, surgically clean, was littered with teddy bears, squeak toys, board games with their pieces strewn about haphazardly, a jump rope, a putting green, and a trash bin overflowing with crumpled candy wrappers.

the rubber basketball that almost hit your head rolled towards the floor-to-ceiling bookshelves on one end of the room and you saw a kiddie basketball hoop attached to one of the shelves. and below that, sanzu, flopped on his stomach on the floor, a different flavored ring pop on each of his fingers.

"koko..i'm really bad at basketball," he grumbled, picking himself up and walked over to koko's desk, slamming his hands down on the surface, the sudden gust of wind almost blowing the stack of papers in front of koko away.

"oh no, well, why don't you go try the putt putt?" koko sighed, not even looking up from his work, waving his hand in the air like he was shooing away a fly. "ah, y/n! finally, someone sane. please, get over here, i need you to look at something," koko waved you over when he noticed you standing in the doorway.

you made your way across the minefield of toys on the floor and greeted sanzu as he walked past you. "good morning," you smiled cordially.

he sauntered past you, looking down at you through bloodshot, half-shut eyes, his usual sinister smile plastered wide across his face. he'd opened his mouth to say, "good morning, little prin-" but then stepped on a pile of toy soldiers and tripped, tumbling to the floor, his long limbs getting all tangled up in themselves.

"uh... hey, koko?" you took a seat in the armchair beside the desk, setting your laptop down on the tabletop. "what's going on here? where's mikey?"

koko let out an exasperated sigh, rolling his eyes. "sometimes mikey goes off on his own, and when he does, the rest of us have to take turns...babysitting," he nodded at the gangly man with bubblegum colored hair with a plastic toy putter in his hands. "i pulled the short straw today," he sighed, pushing the large binder of documents he was looking at over to you.

"koko!!"

"jesus, what now?" koko looked up, so annoyed you could almost see the steam coming out his ears.

"there's no balls," sanzu pointed at the putting green on the floor.

"well, who decided to ambush people by pelting them with the balls outside the bathroom last time?"

sanzu stared back at koko blankly.

"ugh, nevermind. could you play with something else? y/n and i have work to do." koko scooted his seat closer to you, and began circling a few line items on the page in front of you. "got this today from the guys over at the club in akasaka. these totals look off to you?"

you glanced over the document, and flipped back a few pages and reviewed the itemized lists also included in the binder. "damn," you said, looking up at koko. "these assholes are skimming."

koko opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by a sudden loud popping noise. both of you turned to see sanzu on the floor, pulling the heads off of a pile of barbie and ken dolls.

koko raised his hands to his temples, the frown lines between his eyebrows deepening by the second. "jesus christ, this psychotic clown, if he wasn't the number 2 I swear to god-” he muttered under his breath.

"hey, sanzu?" you called out and sanzu's head jerked up to look at you, his eyes suddenly bright and attentive, like a child amongst the sea of toys on the floor.

"yes, princess?" he called back.

"could you go on a coffee run for us?"

sanzu tilted his head a little, confused. "a coffee...run?"

"yeah...you know, to buy coffee?"

he blinked, still confused.

"to buy...starbucks?"

"ah! you want me to buy you starbucks," he suddenly shot up.

"yes! yes, please, for me and koko, that would be great," you smiled, thinking you were finally getting somewhere with him.

he walked over to the desk. "anything for you, princess. and you can call me haru," he hummed, taking a bright pink ring pop off his finger and sliding it onto your ring finger, and a blue one onto koko's ring finger. "be back in a flash."

he turned to walk out of the office, whistling and not bothering to avoid the toys scattered on the floor, simply stepping on them as he went.

the doors closed behind him and you turned to koko, "now we can get some work done."

"let's hope he takes his time," koko rolled his eyes, sliding the ring pop off his finger, holding onto only the plastic part as gingerly as possible, a disgusted look on his face because he could tell sanzu had definitely licked the candy already.

"is it always like this when mikey's away?"

"sanzu? yeah, pretty much. but mikey tolerates him cus he's been with him longer than any of us, he's his loyal mad dog," koko sighed. "but that bastard's insane. apparently back in the day he got moved back and forth between all of mikey's captains cus nobody could handle him."

"wow. yeah, i guess i can see that," you glanced over at all the toys scattered on the floor. "seems pretty tough for you too."

"oh, i've actually done the best with him," koko scoffed. "last time, he was the haitani brothers' responsibility, they decided to take him to a hostess club. thought it'd be a good distraction for him. crazy maniac decided to pay for all the women there."

"all of them? that's..that's a lot-"

"no, that's not the crazy part. he paid for all the women, and then made them line up against the wall with liquor bottles on top of their heads and he used them for target practice." koko ran a hand through his hair, sighing. "anyway, who knows when he's gonna be back so we should try to get as much done as possible while he's away."

you nodded. the two of you worked dilligently, reviewing the rest of the books collected from bonten's other clubs and businesses in town, making one stack for ones that pass, and one that required additional scrutiny.

after a while, you stretched your arms up over your head, noticing the sun hung high in the sky and glanced at the clock on the wall. it read 12:15.

"i wonder where he is," you said, realizing it'd been almost two and a half hours since he left.

"who knows what that lunatic gets up to," koko sighed, turning the page of the binder he was leafing through.

"i actually could've used some coffee though," you yawned.

"i can have my girls make some sencha-"

just then the doors to his office burst open, and sanzu staggered in, eyes blood red, a blue gift bag in one hand, the other dragging a giant 10-foot teddy bear behind him.

"and suddenly my headache's back," koko muttered and sanzu approached the two of you at the desk.

sanzu dragged the huge teddy bear over and plopped it beside you. "i got this for you, princess."

"hah..um...where'd you get this..giant thing?" you didn't even know where to begin.

"there's a carnival downtown. i got it playing a shooting game," he grinned from ear to ear. koko groaned, knowing sanzu, by 'shooting game' he probably meant he threatened to shoot the person manning the booth if he didn't give him the bear.

"hah..i see, thank you. but why is it missing its eyes?" you asked, looking at the bear's face and noticing the eyeballs had been ripped out, only some tattered threads remained in the sockets.

"they were ugly," sanzu shrugged. "koko, i got you something too," he dropped the gift bag down in front of koko.

"thanks.." koko reached into the bag and pulled out a tiny cross-stitched sweater which could've only been made for an infant. "uh...dude, what is this?"

"it's a sweater for your chihuahua," sanzu explained, yawning and plopping down onto a chair by the desk.

"i don't have a chihuahua?"

"i could've sworn you did," sanzu tilted his head, as though in deep thought. "oh, i guess it's just you that's always yapping. it's amazing y/n puts up with this every day," he laughed, but his tone was filled with hostility.

you saw koko's body tense in your periphery and you quickly spoke up to diffuse the sudden tension. "haru, did you get coffee?"

"coffee? oh! the starbucks. yes, i did."

you stared back at him. "that's great, uh...so where is it?"

"on the corner of harajuku square, by yoyogi station," he smiled.

"what?"

"oh my god," koko groaned, raising his palms to his eyes and rubbing them in circles.

you looked back and forth between koko and sanzu.

koko took a deep breath and leaned back in his chair, turning to look at you. "he bought the starbucks."

[lexis3npaii]

Corner Store Confession

I’m baaaaccckkkk 😈

bangchanxfem!reader

1.6k words 

(literally just fluff)

the lee know fic i’m writing is taking me longer than expected lol. i wrote this 1 or 2 years ago for a creative writing class but i just changed the boy to chan and the main girl to Y/N. I was gonna change the little sister to jeongin, but i think the sister dynamic works better than a brother/sister one would, so May is a OC. i am writing a teen romcom novel that this scene will be in but the scene in the book is different and obviously the names are different. like before, enjoy and feedback is greatly appreciated :) 

The night is dim, and the frigid air nearly passes right through my body, the knitted gray cardigan hanging low on my shoulders barely keeping me warm. We walk along the road, on our way to the corner store. Well I walk, May practically skips, her messy head of curls bouncing up and down as she does. I can see the excitement radiating off of her body. Me? I can feel the anxiety rattling almost every bone in my body. The oxygen feels thick and hard to breathe. No doubt another symptom of my good ol’ pal anxiety.

When we reach our destination, I stop before going in. I look over at May. She’s got her hand on the handle, ready to swing the door open and gaze at the cashier we’re both infatuated with.

“Um hello? Earth to Y/N?” she says to grab my attention again, “Can we go in?” 

I train my eyes straight ahead and nod, mentally preparing myself for the possible impending embarrassment that’s coming. It always comes when I’m in the presence of Christopher.

We enter the store and hear the familiar bell ring. I glance over at the checkout just as Chris looks up from his phone and waves at me. I half smile and wave back, already feeling the butterflies flutter in my stomach. No not flutter, more like rage. The butterflies are raging in my stomach. They’ve formed a mosh pit and they are now raging. May elbows me and wiggles her eyebrows like an idiot. I give her a little shove and turn back to Chris. I wave again, cursing myself for already forgetting the first time I waved. At this, Chris giggles and waves at me again. I avert eye contact and I quickly push May to the back of the store. I stand, Blair Witch style, against the freezer. The icy glass helping to cool down my face, which is burning with humiliation. I’m an idiot. I’m an awkward, blundering idiot. I’m a-

“Y/N!” May once again drags me back to earth. “Pull yourself together.”

She begins to walk away before looking back at me and mumbling weirdo. I take a deep breath, feeling the cool air from the freezer flow through my lungs, before breathing it out and turning to follow May.

We walk through the aisles, absentmindedly looking at the product on the shelves. May slides her fingers across a row of orange Fanta. She spins around on her foot and faces me.

“Soooooo... you gonna talk to him.” she asks.

“What?

“He’s been staring at you this whole time” she points over to Chris who looks downwhen we meet eyes.

“It’s probably because we’re the only people in the store”

“I don’t know, he definitely checked you out when we walked in. Or he was checking out me, but if he was, I’d be concerned, ya know cause I’m a minor.” She grabs a pack of watermelon Sour Patch Kids and walks away. 

I grab a bag of Skittles and follow her to the register.

When we reach the front, Christopher greets us with his cute half smile, dimples on full display. It takes everything in me not to smile back like a deranged clown. He rings up the two items and puts them in a bag. I feel around for my wallet, immediately realizing I left it at home.

“Crap, I forgot my wallet.” I say out loud. 

“Hey, no problem” Chris utters back as he reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a 10-dollar bill.

“Geez thanks Christopher. What would we do without you?” May swoons.

“Yea thanks Chris, I’ll totally pay you back, I have money it’s just in my wallet that forgot and...” I trail on not realizing what I’m saying or that I’m still talking.

“Y/N, it’s all good.” He stops my mindless rant. I cast my eyes on the sticker covered counter, not wanting to look in his eyes. 

"I would just let you guys walk out with this stuff but my manager's been on me recently about giving out freebies to people I like.” He says as he puts the 10 in the register, takes out the exact change, and shoves it into his back pocket.

“Sooooo you’re saying that you like us?” May probes.

I slightly look up and then immediately reach for our items when Chris and I make eye contact.

“Of course I do. You guys are like my favorite regulars.” He says as he leans forward on the counter.

“Well we gotta go. School night.” I say in a breathy giggle tone,  awkwardly backing up towards the door. On the way I bump into a swivel rack of potato chips. I make a mortifying ‘oof’ noise and stumble a little, our bag of goodies falling out of my hand. I giggle from embarrassment and attempt to pick up the discarded bags of various chips.

Chris hops over the counter and in one swift movement he’s next to me, helping to put the chips where they belong.

“Clumsy today aren’t we Y/N?” he says with a smirk as our fingers brush each other on the same bag. The heat rushes to my head so fast it feels like at any minute I’ll black out.

“I’m so sorry. I should’ve been looking.” I utter out.

“Y/N, chill it’s no biggie. I’ll clean this up, I mean it is my job.” He says with a chuckle. Fire. My face is on fire. “Why don’t you guys head out. It’s a school night isn’t it?” he gives me a wink and I’m sure I’ll melt into a puddle right then and there.

“Yea” I say flustered, “Yea school night. We’ll get out of your hair.” I get up and rush over to grab May’s arm. I need to get out of this store before I can embarrass myself any further.

Just as I’m about to push the door open Chris calls my name. I slowly turn around to see him holding our bag of snacks. I saunter over to him and grab the bag. I give him a tight-lipped smile and he chuckles back, crossing his arms as he watches us exit the store.

“Byeeeeee Christopherrrrrr!” May calls as we transfer from the bright fluorescent lights of the store to the dark illuminated vibe of the outside, the crisp air once nearly freezing me, now alleviating me from the smoldering fire set ablaze on my entire body. I squeeze my eyes shut so tight, it feels like my eyelids will split open. The painful memories of just moments ago play in my head. No way that just happened. No way I just majorly embarrass myself THAT bad. I look over to May, who’s doubling over in laughter. I mean hands on stomach, trying to keep herself upright kind of laughter.

“Aw man, that was so funny. You were like a Charlie Chaplin film, but unfortunately for you there was sound.” She burst into a fit of laughter again, now covering her mouth with her hands, trying to muffle her loud cackles.

“It’s nice to know my pain is amusing to you.” I say as I try not to glance back at the store. I know he’s staring at us through the window and if we meet eyes again, I’m going to pass away.

How on earth am I ever going to face him again? I can’t go back into that store, not while he���s working that is. I’m going to have to avoid him for the rest of my life. Just then, I notice May’s laughter has stopped. I glance over at her. She’s got her smug ‘I told you so’ face on as we walk down the street.

“What?” I finally ask, sick of her giving me that look.

“He likes you” she retorts back, fully confident.

“Not after that he doesn’t.”

“No he likes you, trust me.” She skips ahead of me, humming some unknown tune. She spins back around and says “And you like him.” 

I stand still for a moment, mulling over May’s statement. Against my better judgment, I turn around just as the oh so familiar store door rings. Before I know it, I’m face to face with Chris, who pants a little from his short run. 

For a moment, we just stare at each other. His face displays a nervousness I’ve never seen on him before. He opens his mouth to say something, but closes it and turns away, hiding his face from me. 

“Y/N! I was wondering if you wanted to do something. With me! Do something with me along with you. Together, at the same time.” He rambles on. I can’t help but think how cute it is to see him like this, fumbling over his words, speaking in disjointed sentences like, well, me. 

“Yes.” I cut him off with an uncharacteristic burst of confidence. 

“Yes? Yes. Yes what… exactly?” 

“Yes I’ll go out with you.” I say with an awkward smile.

He gives me his award winning smile and for the first time all night, I grin and laugh, not out of nervousness or embarrassment, but pure excitement. 

“Cool. I’ll text you.” He hands me his phone to input my number. “Definitely not on a school night though.” He jokes, as I hand back the device. He begins to walk backwards towards the store. 

“Not gonna let me live that one down are you?” 

“Never.” 

I watch him go back into the store, a visual pep in his step. I wait until he disappears behind a shelf to do a little celebratory dance, before running to catch up with May. I don’t tell her what just happened, I’ll keep that to myself for a while. Plus I hate it when she’s right.

[writing-shroom]

Genya and Sanemi headcanons with dialog option 2 “Am I your lock screen?” “You weren’t supposed to see that.” in which the reader watches them stutter and they to make an excuse on why they have the reader as theie lock screen also when tf did they take that photo of the reader. Oh also their not on any sort of relationship but its a mutual pining? Sorry if thats to complicated!!

"That's a nice lock screen there," || 200 Celebration

Pairings: Mutual Pining! S. Sanemi x Reader || Mutual Pining! S. Genya x Reader

Prompts/Summary: Prompts 2; "Am I,,, your lock screen?" "You weren't supposed to see that."

Words: 1,9K words

Warnings: Swearing. Soft Sanemi and Genya, is that a warning?

Gender neutral reader!

a/n: to the anon who requested this; i am so sorry ._. i really didn't mean for it to be held back so much + more a/n bellow

・✿ S. Sanemi ✿・

Currently you were wondering if it was possible to murder someone with your gaze, because if it was then your best friend would be dead 10 times over. They were so smug, sitting in their seat as they watched you shuffle awkwardly to sit by Sanemi.

Beside them was where you were supposed to sit, but for some reason they decided to betray you in cold blood, allowing someone else to sit in your place, thus forcing you to sit in the only other place left.

And it so happened to be beside Sanemi, a guy you've been crushing on since the start of the year. Great.

Seeing you approaching, he moved his notes aside to make room for you. It wasn't rare for you to sit together really, but that was out of school; in the library where you both could be seen focusing intently on the text books in front of you.

You could handle sitting next to him while you both were studying, how hard could sitting next to him during class be?

Is what you tried telling yourself as you were struggled to write down what your professor was talking about, the pen in your hand kept shaking.

Grunting, you carelessly tossed the pen to the side in frustration, you would ask your friend for their notes later. Hearing a light tap though, you realised your pen had fallen off the side of the desk.

What a way to start the day

Sighing you leaned down to pick the pen up, only to find Sanemi's phone on the ground too.

It must have slipped out of his bag when he put it down. Might as well give it back to him.

"Hey Sanemi, your phone was on the ground."

Putting your pen back in your pencil case, you turned to hand him his phone. Snapping out whatever day dream he was having while he ignored the professor, he looked at his bag then at the phone in your hand.

"Oh yeah, thanks"

He went out to grab the phone from your hand when-

"Am I,,, your lock screen?"

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Sanemi accidentally pressed the power button when he tried taking his phone, making it turn on and thus, showing you the picture he had on his lock screen.

"You weren't supposed to see that."

Quickly snatching it away and turning it off again, he tried playing it off and shoved it in the front pocket of his backpack. Leaning against his palm, totally paying attention to the lesson.

But you knew better, still frozen with your hand raised from when you held his phone you leaned over to get in his peripheral vision.

"Was that a picture of me?" You inquired, smirking all the while at the red that was so clearly appearing on his face.

Clearing his throat he looked down to study his empty note book. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Did you take that in the library?"

He did in fact take it during the time you sat in front of him while you both were studying in the library, even in the few seconds you manage to catch a glimpse of the book shelves lining the background and the bag of candy you always manage to sneak in.

Sanemi stayed quiet, there was no escaping. He was backed into a corner and you knew it.

Grinning victoriously, you sat back and picked your pen up again. You couldn't write down your notes but at least you could write something else down.

He tried peaking at you when he realised how quiet you had gone, nervously switching between pretending to listen to what ever the professor was drawling on about and looking over to look at what you were writing down.

You were focused on it as well, he could tell by the furrow in your brows. The same one in the picture on his lock screen, you were adorable when you tried your best at concentrating on something.

Goddammit what were you were writting? No way you were focusing that much on notes.

Internally groaning Sanemi had half a mind to slam his head against the table, he blew it. Not like he was planning on confessing anytime soon, but at least there was the slight chance you would find him okay at least.

The bell rang, and soon students were filling out the classroom one by one.

Packing up his stuff, he could vaguely see you getting up and walking over to you friend before running out the classroom with them. Great now you think he's a creep, he thought shoving the rest of his books into his bag.

Grabbing his phone, he stared at it irritated. But then his eyebrows shot up when he saw a folded piece of paper lying on the desk behind it.

Looking around the room, he found it empty. Odd.

Picking it up, Sanemi examined the strange thing before unfolding it. Quickly he spotted your familiar hand writing and the half-hazard doodles you did on the borders, but that wasn't the thing he was interested in.

'I'd prefer a nicer picture of me if you're gonna use it as your lock screen. How bout we meet up at the library after school for a date, same place same time? xxx-xxx-xxx text me so i can prepare, then you can get a better photo this time ;) -(Y/N)'

・✿ S. Genya ✿・

Sitting in cafeteria, you zipped up your bag and took a final check to make sure you had everything in.

"Right, you ready?"

Glancing up at Genya, who was already standing up with his own backpack slung over his shoulders. "Yeah just give me a moment."

Fishing your phone out of your front pocket you tried turning it on, only to be devastated when you saw the batter had died. "Dammit, phone's dead."

He perked up, "I could lend you mine?"

What was the thing he saw in that one really cheesy movie his sister was watching? 'Subtly' asking you to put your phone number while you were holding his phone? Yeah that sounds bout right.

Pulling out his own phone, Genya handed it to you, already rehearsing what he was going to say. 'I have a space in my contacts that's free, wanna help me fill up the space with your phone number?'

Uh,,,,, no. Maybe not that-

"Am I,,, your lock screen?"

His brain froze, he completely forgot about his lock screen. "Tha- uhm"

Looking at his phone you were holding up he was really regretting not changing that back, Inosuke and Yuichiro started it as a joke to tease him. Changing his lock screen to a picture he had of you in his gallery, he was supposed to change it back when he got home but Genya really liked that picture. And so he never replaced it.

"You weren't supposed to see that."

Stuttering out his words he reached out to snatch the phone away from you, you pulled it back quicker though, and his heart sank as you inspected the picture further.

It was a picture from the event your school held a while back, you had been in charge of decorations with Tanjiro and Nezuko. You're pretty sure she took the picture while you were stringing up fairy lights in the trees up front.

Damn it when she told you she was just sending it to the group, you didn't know your crush was in said group chat.

"So,, I'm on your lock screen huh?"

"Yeah, Yuichiro and Inosuke put it up." He admitted embarrassed, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Oh." You looked down at your shoes in disappoint, so it was a joke then? Maybe he didn't like you after all, so much for what your friend tried to tell you.

Seeing you deflating he rushed to fix his statement; "I-I mean they did but you looked really nice in the picture so I uh kept it on-"

"You think I look nice?"

Fuck dammit, this is why he rehearsed before actually saying things.

"I uh," He was about to deny it, but then he met your gleaming and you seemed so cute and excited. "Yeah,,"

Your eyes widen a little, but in a pleasant way. Reeling back, you tried processing it as you felt your cheeks heat up, playing with a strand of hair you rocked back and forth on your heels shyly.

"So,"

"So"

Neither of you spoke after that, much too flustered to say anything without messing up again. You bit your lip glancing at your back pack and then at his phone in your hands, getting an idea you quickly called your guardian.

"Hello? Yeah this is (Y/N), my phone died so I'm using a friend's."

Genya stayed quiet, watching you talk with them as he awkwardly waited for you to finish and hand him his phone so he could rush home and scream into a wall.

"I want to hang out with them a bit longer, so is it okay if i got home later today? Yeah, thank you I'll be back before sundown don't worry."

Looking at you questioningly, he watched you type something down on his phone before handing it back to him. "There's a cafe a few blocks away and it's seems nice enough, want to keep me company?"

Blinking rapidly it took a second for his brain to register what you just asked him.

"Uh y-yeah! I would love to, if I'm not wasting your time that is or if you want me to join you."

Putting on your backpack you giggle as he rapidly spewed out an answer, taking his hand to cut off his incoherent rambling you tugged him over to the entrance.

"I wouldn't invite you if I didn't want you to join me Genya,"

Watching his face turn the shade of tomato, you chuckled again under your breath while he fell into step beside you.

By the time he reached his own home, he didn't even remember then thing you typed down on his phone. Flopping face first into his bed he sighed, happy that the day ended better than he expected it too.

A buzzing from his phone alerted him to check in on a text he just received, leaning against the head rest of the bed he turned on his phone and opened the text that came in.

Looking at the contact name he barely registered that it was your name, but when he did he was taken aback. He didn't have your number?

Clicking on the notification, it took him to an empty chat with only a single picture and a text sent a few minutes ago. Genya immediately chocked on spit when he register what the picture was.

Hearing his coughing fit, Sanemi opened the door to check up on him. Ignoring Genya's attempts to tell him that he was fine (which he could barely hear between coughs), he took his wrist to hold his phone steady.

Seeing a photo of what seems to be a selfie of you and Genya in a cafe, Sanemi rolled his eyes and ruffled Genya's hair before walking out the door.

Bellow it was a text;

'I think this would make a better background don't you?'

Add this to the list of things i was supposed to do weeks ago, so sorry for that anon ._. It wasn't all that complicated don't worry! My dumb brain just couldn't get into the rhythm of writting, i apologise again for it being so late. don't think im very good at writing pining, hope this is okay though ˓(ᑊᘩᑊ⁎) Hope you had a lovelyyy day lovelies!! Stay safe and stay hydrated as always, and I hope to seeing you in the next fic (which i hope to be done soon cause i have been gone for far too long for my liking) :DDD

Event closed!

☼ Masterlist ☼

[bubblybubbubs]

Stuck With Me

Draco Malfoy x Reader

Summary- Being with your soulmate is supposed to be when you’re most happy,  but you find yours quite intolerable.

Soulmate AU

part 2

Word Count- Both parts together have a 4891 word count in total.

AN- Here it is!! I am so excited to see how you all like this. This is honestly my favorite thing I have written. The second(last) part should be published next week same time.

Once a year. Every year on the day you’re meant to meet your soulmate you get to ask them one question. No obvious questions like, what’s your name or what’s your address but just small questions to get to know your perfect match, the one that would love you more than anyone else in the world.

You asked your first question when you were 5.

The day was August 25th, you were sat on your couch watching television when you suddenly felt the tug.

Your parents had explained it well enough, when you felt the tugging sensation it meant you could finally ask your first question to your soulmate.

You were giddy with excitement.

You closed your eyes shut and thought “What's your favorite color?”

As you waited for an answer you realized that was a silly question. But it was the first to come to mind and there was no changing it.

“Blue.” the voice in your head said. “Do you like dogs?”

“yes.” You said.

And that was it, you felt a little underwhelmed but still ran off to tell your parents what happened.

When you were 6 you were prepared. You had made a list of all the possible questions and as the day neared you slowly eliminated the options.

So when you felt the tug you were ready.

“what’s your favorite candy.”

“chocolate cauldrons.” You smiled content with your soulmate's answer.

“do you like quidditch?”

“yes.” you said and once again it was over. you felt more excited this time, knowing two new things about them.

when you were 7 you invited your best friend Ginny Weasley to be at your house for the special moment.

“What are you going to ask?��� She giggles as she sat across from you eating sugar quills.

“I’m going to ask if they’re British, my mom said it’s a way of seeing if they’re close by.”You hoped they would say yes, if they didn't you might have to wait a long time before meeting them.

Suddenly you felt the tug and you gave Ginny a thumbs up telling her it was happening.

“Are you British?” You asked as Ginny grinned at you.

“Yes.” They said “Are you British?”

“Yes.” You said.

When you were 8 you were a bit nervous.

You had heard stories of people who suddenly stopped getting questions every year and you didn’t want that to happen to you.

You were sat on your parents’s bed the whole day as they kept comforting you telling you that you’d get the question soon.

Luckily you did get the tug, you practically bolted out of bed when you felt it.

“I told you so.” Your mom said smiling at you.

This time your soulmate asked first “What’s your blood status?” You were a witch but you were confused as to why your soulmate would waste their yearly question on that.

“I’m a half blood.” You said “Have you ever been to Diagon Alley?” You and Ginny had been planning the question for weeks, it was a way of trying to find just how close your soulmate was.

“yes.”

when you were 10 you started to realize that you may have already met your soulmate, there was no way to know.

You were with Ginny playing at the park when you felt the tug.

“It’s time!” you told her and you both rushed to a bench to sit.

“Are you going to be a first year at Hogwarts next year like me?” You and Ginny had worked hard coming up with that question and you both crossed your fingers for your soulmate to say yes.

“Yes.” you almost started jumping up and down thinking of how you were going to be at the same school as your soulmate next year.

“Is your hair blonde like mine?” You smiled at how he had cleverly worded his question. “(your answer).”

You knew that from now on every August 25th you would look very closely at every blonde you saw.

When you were 11 you hadn’t even noticed you had met your soulmate.

You were scouring the book shelves of Flourish and Botts for ‘The Standard Book of Spells’ when you bumped into a boy.

“Sorry.” You said

“Watch where you’re going.” The boy said angrily.

“Don’t be rude.” You said crossing your arms.

“You’re the one that bumped into me.” He huffed. You would’ve noticed his blonde hair or how he had all the same first year books you did if you weren’t so angry.

So instead you grabbed the book off the shelf and stomped off to find your parents to tell them about the infuriating boy you had just met.

That night you felt the tug. You had been sitting in your room when you got back from Diagon Alley waiting since it hadn’t happened all day.

“Did you go to Diagon Alley today like I did?” You asked. You had guessed that there was a good chance you had met your soulmate today since there had been many first years at Diagon Alley, so you had dressed up nice and done your hair. But no one seemed to stick out as soul mate material. 

“Yes.” Your mind started to spin trying to remember every blonde boy your age that you saw. “What hogwarts house do you want to be in?”

“Gryffindor.” You said. Your mom was a gryffindor and she always talked about how much she loved hogwarts and you wanted to have as much fun as she did.

That school year you were sorted into Gryffindor just like you wished. You kept searching for blonde boys in your grade and you had quickly eliminated Draco Malfoy from the options.

You’d rather die soulmateless than be stuck with Malfoy forever. You did not get along, he was always teasing you and your friends and you thought he was extremely insufferable.

Instead you had become convinced Ernie Macmillian was your soulmate. He was blonde and he was a kind Hufflepuff, though you didn’t remember seeing him at Diagon Alley. When you asked him he quickly shut you down telling you he met his soulmate on September 1st not August 25th.

So when you were 12 you were more than ready to ask the question you had in your head all of your first year.

“What is your house?” You asked

“Slytherin.” He said. You were a bit surprised you couldn’t believe your soulmate was in your rival house.

“Are you friends with Harry Potter.” He asked “Yes.” You said.

That night you went to sleep excited, you felt like you were so close to finding out who your soulmate was, but you couldn’t think of a single decent Slytherin with blonde hair.

That year was similar to the last except the feud between Draco and you grew. Even more when you thought he was the heir of Slytherin.

“Don’t you think Draco could be your soulmate, I can’t think of anyone else who fits the description.” Hermoine said. She was the only one you had told.

“No way.” You said blatantly.

You had not been on good terms with Draco at that time.

“Filthy little mudblood.” Draco said to Hermoine.

“What did you just say to her?” You said taken aback by his words.

“You heard what I said halfbreed.” He said, giving you a dirty look.

With that you tackled him to the ground.

“Get her off of me, Get her off of me.” Draco yelled as you continued to wrestle with him.

“Come on he’s not worth it.” Harry and Ron said, pulling you off of him.

You huffed. “Don’t you ever speak to Hermoine like that again Malfoy.”

He just looked at you with wide eyes.

“Merlin, she's crazy.”

[kinktae]

bitchin’ || pt. 9 (M)

↳ PART OF MY REWIND SERIES

The 80s were a time of choices. Which perm was right for you? What color neon would you wear next? None of these choices, however, were more questionable than a certain deal you made with Jeon Jungkook.

pairing: fratboy!jungkook x reader

word count: 4.7k

genre: 1980s au, eventual smut, e2l

warnings: fanservice. that's it. that’s the tweet.

A/N: This fic was inspired by To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before. Thank you to @junqkook for letting me use her likeness!

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10

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PART NINE

"Okay, just sign your name here, and she'll come to get you when she's ready." The cheery girl at the front desk told you.

You offered her a polite smile, walking over to the sit in the waiting room.

You always disliked these chairs. We were willing to bet money that these chairs have sat in this very room since your university first opened, worn out, uncomfortable, and outdated. Sure, maybe you had been in a bit of a sour mood lately – what with your fake ex-boyfriend dirty dicking you and all – but as you sat there, metal rod poking your spin, you couldn't help but frown.

As you sat there contemplating your school's renovation budget, you hardly noticed the sound of another student walking in and over to the front desk, your stomach churning as you put a face to those loose curls.

"Hey, stranger! What are you doing here?" Kiri's white teeth blinded you, walking over to you once her business with the receptionist was done.

You could feel one of your eyebrows twitch in irritation, swallowing down your scoff as she sat next to you.

"Trying to schedule my class next semester." You responded uninterestedly, contemplating whether or not the suspension from decking Kiri in the face would be worth it.

"Oh, just picking up a termination form. One of our newbies wants to pull out of Kappa Alpha Tau."

Shocker...

"Hey, so sorry to hear things with Jungkook and you didn't work out, by the way." Kiri flashed you a sympathetic look.

An audible breath left your lips, disbelief no doubt visible on your every feature. Did Kiri seriously think you didn't know it was her who home wrecked? Or was she just that much of a raging bitch?

"If you ever need someone to, like, talk to, just know that I'm here. I totally know what you're going through."

Your hands found themselves curling into tight balls in an attempt to keep your hands from shaking. Kiri looked as cool as a cucumber in front of you, perfectly composed, not a single hair out of place.

Then it hit you.

Of course. It all made perfect sense now.

From the moment she came up to you at your event offering her condolences, she had been trying to drive you off from Jungkook. She was planting seeds of doubt about their break up and his character. Manipulation and intimidation were her cards, and she played them well.

Fine. If the rules were being bent, you might as well disregard them altogether. You relaxed your hands.

"Oh, no worries. It's all good, I mean, it's not like we were actually dating." You shrugged.

Rule #2: No one can know the truth.

"What?" Kiri blinked, her smile faltering for just a moment.

You edged closer to her, cocking your head in mock surprise.

"Oh... did you not know that? That our entire relationship was contractual?"

"What are you talking about?" Her full brows furrowing.

You let out a sigh, "Yeah, so, basically, Jungkook would get his frat to fund my event if I helped make you jealous so that you'd come crawling back to him."

The polite mask that Kiri had plastered on finally cracked, her next words clipped and curt.

"What the hell is your damage, Y/N? Do you think I'm some sort of idiot how'd fall for that?"

"Good grief, did Jungkook not tell you? Weird, I feel like that's something he'd need to tell his girlfriend." You puffed out your bottom lip in mock sympathy.

Whatever resolve Kiri had built up crumbled at the way you held her stare, a note of honesty in your voice that she couldn't shake.

"I'm..." She cleared her throat, turning her nose up. "We're not actually back together yet."

"No? Really? Hmm..."

The call of your name crossed the room, and the two of you turned to look at the receptionist, ushering you over with the news that your counselor was ready for you.

You turned to Kiri with a smile, "Guess he didn't want you back as so much as he just wanted back in your pants."

Kiri looked utterly stunned, eyes wide as you stood from your seat, for once, without a clue as to what to say.

"See ya around, Kiri. Let's do lunch sometime. Oh and, happy holidays!" You fluttered your fingers at her, slipping away from her with a smugness you couldn't be assed to hide.

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"Wait... he called you?!" Taehyung laughed, eyes wide.

Yara nodded, scouring through the shelves, a specific book in mind. Belinda Carlisle was playing softly overhead and Yara found herself humming along.

As the holidays rolled around and everyone found themselves back in their hometowns, Yara was surprised to find Jungkook's frat brother browsing through the jam aisle in her local supermarket. As luck would have it, Jungkook's genetically blessed frat brother was from her hometown, the two somehow never crossing paths until now.

What started as a polite catchup over coffee, quickly turned into an everyday thing, the two of them realizing they had more in common than friend drama.

"He did!" Yara enthused. "He left a voicemail apologizing and rambled about how he wanted Y/N's address so he could go apologize, blah, blah, blah."

"That idiot." Taehyung rolled his eyes. He watched as she let out a noise of excitement, looking over her shoulder to announce that she had found the book she was in search of. He grinned in response.

"Anyway, I didn't call back. Because that's exactly how she wants to spend Christmas morning, with that jockstrap knocking at her door, right?"

Taehyung snorted, bringing the straw of his drink to his mouth.

"Miriam is gonna have your head on a stick Lord of the Flies style if she catches you with that drink in her library." Yara warned, to which Taehyung dismissed with a wave of a hand.

Yara was a funny girl; he was pleasantly surprised to bump into her during winter break. He could tell something was off when they first ran into each other, so he invited her out to grab some coffee. It was over a warm cup of coffee – with the most absurd amount of sugar he had ever seen – that she finally shared with him all that had been weighing on her mind lately.

Sure there was the Jungkook and Y/N stuff. Yara was beyond homicidal. Taehyung was grateful for winter break as he was positive she would have rung out Jungkook's neck had she seen him after what had happened. Taehyung himself was astounded to find out what exactly was true nature of the two's relationship, curtesy of Yara, of course. Even if it was fake, however, he knew Jungkook enough to know that the happiness he gave off once Y/N entered his life wasn't.

But more than that, the petite girl was worried about a boy, an irritating one who Taehyung happened to be frat brothers with. Eunwoo had approached her immediately after Kiri left him, spewing some excuse about only dating Kiri because he couldn't get Yara out of his mind.

It was bullshit if you asked Taehyung. But he hadn't the heart to tell Yara that, especially with the way she looked so torn up about it – unsure of how to respond to Eunwoo. He wasn't entirely sure what their relationship was like, but he figured it must have meant enough to her to have her feeling this conflicted.

So he did his best to cheer her up, inviting her for lunch and driving her to their local library, which he had come to find out was her favorite place growing up. They spent many afternoons sprawled out on the couches in the now abandoned children's section of the library... or at least until the crabby librarian yelled at them to leave.

If Taehyung was honest, he didn't care much for literature – he was a math guy – but the way Yara would shove a book into his chest with wide eyes and an 'if you don't read this and tell me your thoughts on it, I'll literally die,' seemed reason enough to keep showing up day after day.

"Have you talked to her about Eunwoo, yet?"

Yara flinched at the blond man's words.

"Why don't we ever talk about normal people stuff? Like the weather, or what sports team played last night."

"Yara..."

"Oooh!" She exclaimed suddenly, "I know, let's talk about President Reagan. Did you hear his speech about tearing down the wall in Germany? Crazy stuff–"

"Dude, why are you so scared to tell her about Eunwoo? You told me." Taehyung interrupted, quirking up a brow. Yara held his eyes for a moment before sighing.

"I just don't want to bring it up to Y/N, you know? She has enough going on..."

"So? She's your best friend. She'll want to help."

"Exactly! She's going to want to comfort me and make me feel better – which will just make me feel worse." Yara groaned, leaning back against the bookshelf.

"I'm... not following." The frat boy admitted.

Surely girls aren't usually this hard to understand.

"Look, I know you'd only known me for a little while, but let me pencil you in. I have a reputation, okay? Yara doesn't get hung up on some dumb boy." Yara wagged her finger at him.

"Does Yara usually talk about herself in the third person?" Taehyung chuckled.

"Yara," she continued, paying the boy no mind, "is an independent woman who likes one night stands and sex without strings. She doesn't like clingy boys getting into her head and confusing her."

Taehyung nodded, "So basically, Yara is scared of catching feelings."

"Shh! Don't tell Yara about what Yara doesn't want to hear." She turned her nose up at him, pushing herself back off the stand to march away from him. Taehyung reached for her arm without hesitation, stopping her departure with a sigh.

"Look, I don't mean to be on your ass about this, but clearly, you feel something for this kid. Otherwise, you wouldn't be spending all your time pining over him."

Taehyung immediately wished he could take back those words as an offended look fell across the petite girl's face, her hands falling onto her hips, clearly displeased.

"Pining? You think I'm pining over Eunwoo?"

Taehyung shifted uncomfortably, unsure how to navigate this situation. As much as he liked Yara, she did spark a healthy dose of fear into him.

"Well... I mean... you're spending your whole break with me just because I can give you a ride to the library so you can read sad romance novels and cry."

"First of all," Yara began, "I happen to enjoy your company. You're a good listener and, frankly, very nice to look at."

Surprise fell over Taehyung, "Nice to look at?"

"Oh, don't act like you don't know." She waved him off, "Secondly, I've never cried. I've let out a sniffle at most."

"Fine, so you're not pining over him. Just get back together with him." He responded.

"I can't."

Taehyung frowned, "Then turn him down."

"I can't do that either." She frowned right back.

"Dude."

"I'm scared, okay!" She whined, thumping a foot against the library's carpeted floor.

"Of what? What's holding you back from going back to Eunwoo?"

"...He told me he loves me."

"And?"

"And I don't even know what that means!" Yara threw her hands up in exasperation, the sleeve of her swear falling down her forearms. "I don't know how to love him back or be a good girlfriend – which I know is what he wants from me."

"Yara, I hope you don't feel like you don't owe Eunwoo anything. Because you don't." Taehyung grew serious, which only caused the torn girl to pout.

"I know, I just... I mean, I don't hate him. But it's scary. Whenever I'm dating someone, I get all up in my head like... Am I supposed to be this someone's person? Possibly forever? What the fuck!"

"No, I get it. It's a lot of pressure." He shrugged powerlessly.

"Exactly! I don't want to have to try and love someone. I want to do it. Like... not to sound like a sappy idiot but sometimes I think about all those stories I read," she gestured towards the books beside her, "about feeling a spark when you kiss your person and just... I dunno. Would be fucking nice, instead of this complicated bullshit."

Yara was far from a hopeless romantic. As much as she loved to read about romance, she had an innate urge to flee the moment the word love came around. Still, she could appreciate the idea of it.

"So then forget about that stuff. Forget about labels and expectations. Just be with whoever you want to be with. Have fun, worry about the heavy shit later."

Taehyung had a very soothing effect whenever he spoke. His tone was low and lovely, and despite the way Yara's head was still running a mile a minute, she appreciated the boy's docile nature. Certainly made her feel a whole lot less anxious.

"I want to. That's how this whole thing with Eunwoo started, ya know?" She admitted, crossing her arms over her chest. "But all men are the same. They say they're fine with keeping it casual, but they always end up falling for me, which, duh, understandable..."

The blond boy let out an airy snicker, a direct challenge to Yara's words.

"Something funny, Tae?" She pressed.

"C'mon, that's not true." He rolled his eyes breezily.

"Oh, yeah? Tell that to my four ex-partners who are all still in love with me."

"Maybe you just haven't met the one. You know... your knight-in-no-strings-attached-armor."

"I'm telling you, no such guy exists." Yara emphasized with a poke into Taehyung chest.

He grabbed the jabby finger reflexively, his long fingers wrapping around the small digit, setting his drink on the nearest shelf.

"Yara."

"Seriously, I've done my research! You're looking at a hot commodity, buddy. I may be a raging homebody, but I am very efficient—"

Suddenly, the petite was trapped against the bookshelf with Taehyung hovering over her, a large hand on either side of her head.

"Please stop talking."

Yara's cheeks flushed in surprise as she met the handsome boy's warm eyes, growing even hotter as he leaned over and pressed his mouth against hers.

He smelled distinctly of vanilla, and it sent her stomach fluttering, reeling in the way he gripped her waist, pulling him into her. She would've lost herself in the feeling of his soft lips moving against hers if it weren't for a cough ringing out from somewhere in the library.

Yara broke the kiss short, ears red as she brought her hands to wrap around her torso defensively, trying her hardest to ignore the way her heart was pounding against her chest as if trying to escape.

"You kissed me!" She scoffed, trying her hardest to seem unaffected. Taehyung shrugged.

"You kissed me back."

Oh god, this was bad. She felt all light and giddy tucked away in this corner of the library, the gorgeous tall man still close in proximity, looking at her through a smirk.

"Yes, well... I'm a very go with the flow kind of gal." She defended, brows furrowed adorably.

"Relax, Yara."

"Well, what the hell was that precisely?! Do you just make out with all your library buddies? Is there some sort of library buddy étiquette I'm not aware of?"

"I kissed you because I wanted to. Kissing is fun." He shrugged. "Some guys just want that, you know."

Son of a bitch.

"You got balls, Goldilocks. Understood. Message received, loud and clear." Yara acknowledged through narrowed eyes.

"Happy I could help, bookworm."

A corner of her mouth turned upwards, admittedly amused.

"Just so we're on the same page... you're not in love with me? You just smooched me for fun?" She looked at him skeptically.

"Sorry you had to find out this way." Taehyung joked, earning him an eye roll.

"And you don't have some ex-lover you need to make jealous?"

At those words, the frat boy laughed heartily, head shaking a firm no.

"Wicked."

Yara hopped onto the balls of her feet, hoping to catch the blond's kiss once more when her mouth met the hardcover of a book instead. She sank back down with an annoyed huff; Taehyung had pulled a book from the nearest self in reach, holding it up between them to pause the eager girl's ministrations.

Poking his head out from behind the book cheekily, he flashed her a lopsided grin.

"Easy there, tiger. What about Eunwoo?"

Yara held his eyes for a moment, wondering how she hadn't noticed what a pretty brown they were until now. She let out an appreciative hum.

"What about him?" She raised an eyebrow, a mischievous smirk on her lips that had Taehyung leaning back over to meet it with one of his own.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

"Thanks for agreeing to meet with me." You greeted him with a cautious smile as he slipped into the chair across from you.

You were nervous, to say the least, watching the tall man shift in his seat, trying to grow comfortable despite the uncomfortable circumstances.

"This place is disorienting." Erik scanned the mall cafeteria before flashing you a charming smile. "Thought you'd get tired of waiting and head back home. I apologize for my tardiness."

"No worries. I still don't know my way around at the mall, and I've been home for weeks." You grinned back.

A pleasant beat of silence passed between the two ex-lovers, each taking a moment to consider the other. Erik looked a lot older than he did in high school; he had on a brand new pair of glasses that suited him far better than the ones you remembered did. His hair was combed and styled smartly so that they would stay out of his eyes. A stark contrast from the long-haired boy you had come to know these past few months.

Dammit. Your eyes fell onto the red table between you two, cheeks growing warm as you realized your thoughts had drifted back to Jungkook, even with your ex-fiance sitting across from you.

Erik's voice rang out, "I'll be honest. I wasn't expecting you to call me."

"I wasn't expecting me to either." You confessed, your hands intertwining on the tabletop.

Really, you didn't have much reason to be nervous. I mean, it was Erik. Despite the end of your relationship, there was no bad blood between you two. It wasn't the first time seeing him since the breakup either... maybe it was why you had called him that had you so on edge.

You weren't sure exactly what you wanted from Erik. Company? A distraction? Maybe what you were asking of him was unfair, but as he placed a hand over yours reassuringly, you found the wall you had set up crumbling down.

"I can help you, but you need to talk to me, Y/N. If I could read minds, I would be a much richer man." His brown eyes rolled dramatically.

You chuckled. Same dry wit you remembered.

"I met someone."

"Is that what you wanted to tell me? Y/N, you're allowed to date other people. I understand your hesitation, but really, it is time you moved on–"

You let out a scoff, yanking your hand away from the now laughing man. You flashed him a feigned look of irritation, silently grateful for the change of pace in conversation, finding it much easier to talk when things weren't so tense.

"God, you are still just as full of yourself as I remembered." You teased.

Erik shrugged, "Not to sound like a cocky asshole, but is it not warranted?"

You let that question run through your mind. You suppose if anyone had reason to have a big head, it would be Erik. Intelligent, handsome, hard-working– everything a mother would want their daughter to have.

"It is. You've always been perfect..." You mused, a hint of sadness in your tone that Erik picked up quickly.

And all at once, his entire demeanor changed, a serious expression settling behind those frames of his.

"Tell me about him." He instructed calmly.

And so you did— the beginning, the end, and all the beautiful bits in between. You told him about a boy that challenged you in ways you never imagined– a boy who made you feel like the sun. You spoke of every stupid conversation you once thought of as meaningless but now weighed heavily on your heart and mind.

You were mad at him, of course. There was a reason you had been ignoring his calls and ordered Yara to keep him in the dark of your whereabouts, after all. But the more you talked about him, the more you lit up. Erik noticed it too. How could he not? It was that very way you spoke with an uncontainable passion that made him fall in love with you in the first place.

He watched with utmost concentration for the vocal inflections of your words, the slight movement of your brows that always seemed to speak your mind before you did.

It was clear to him that this boy wasn't just a boy. He could hear in the choice of words you used, words that were static and void of variables. But there were certain words you seemed to dance around he realized as you came to the end of the story... words that were evident to all but you.

"So... Analysis?" You breathed out, chest deflating as you took in Erik's frown.

"Above all... did you find out if he used protection? I don't want to presume anything about... was her name Kiri?" Erik paused, continuing once you nodded back at him, "but your health should be your number one concern."

"I had a friend of his ask him on my behalf. He says he used protection... I went ahead and got tested anyway, though, and I'm all good thankfully." You told him.

Whether or not Jungkook had passed along some sort of STI was heavy on your mind the next morning after you kicked him out. Thankfully, Taehyung was more than happy to get the answer you need but were still too damn pissed off to seek out yourself.

"Good." Erik sunk back into his seat, a hand coming up to run through his hair as he considered his next words. You suppose you were grateful to be able to talk to Erik like this still. Sure, he was blunt and sometimes stared at you like you were some case-study, but he didn't bat an eye of judgment at the news of the contract, for which you were grateful. He had known you for too long to find it peculiar that you'd pretend to be someone's girlfriend in exchange for furthering and fulfilling your passion project.

If anything, that was precisely in line with your character. He liked to think he instilled some of those traits into you.

"Well, frankly, I am sorry to hear this happened to you. You're a great girl; you deserve better than that."

Your neck warmed at Erik's words, slightly taken aback.

"Oh, um... thanks, that means a lot coming from you." You expressed your gratitude shyly.

Erik nodded back at you, "Seriously. It was very shitty of him to string you along for so long and for sleeping with Kiri despite knowing how you felt."

"Oh."

"Oh?" He frowned, not expecting your response.

You shifted in your seat uncomfortably, pausing to watch a woman with a stroller walk past your table.

"Well..." you cleared your throat, "I'm not actually sure that he knows that I, um, like him... like that."

God, this was mortifying. The first time you had admitted you liked Jungkook and it was to your ex-fiancé? Sometimes you swear you were the protagonist in a mediocre rom-com film and no one was telling you.

Erik paused, "I see. And does he know now?"

"...No."

"I see." He sat up, fingers tapping against the table in interest. He quirked up a brow at you. "Perhaps it wasn't just him who was dishonest."

You scrunched your nose at him, not liking what you were hearing. It wasn't anything that hadn't already kept you up, tossing and turning in bed at 2 AM, of course. You had a feeling this was where this conversation would lead to. Erik, as genius as he was, was fairly predictable in this sense. Rational, dependable... nothing like the spontaneous boy you had fallen for.

"So? Even if he knew, what would that change? He slept with her..." You grumbled stubbornly.

"And maybe he wouldn't have if he had known."

You crossed your arms, "You don't know that."

"You're right. I don't. I don't even know the guy. But you do." He continued, offering you a suggestive look.

Huh. Did you think that would have stopped Jungkook? And even so, would that fact alone be enough to get you to forgive him?

"I... I don't know." Was your conclusion, pulling a hum from Erik.

"Guess the only way to know would be to discuss it with the meathead himself."

"I just... I don't want to get my heart broken again. I, quite literally, didn't sign up for this." You placed your face into your hands, hating how rational Erik had to be.

"My guess? He didn't either. It seems as if you both got more than you bargained for." He shrugged.

"He's definitely not at all what I was expecting..." You trailed off glumly.

When you first met Jungkook, he was obnoxious, cocksure, and grotesquely unbothered. You swore you had never hated anyone more on the first meet. But as you came to know him, you found in him a lot of what you wished you found in yourself. Approachable, flexible, spontaneous...

You just wished it all didn't have to hurt so bad.

"You and I are a lot alike, you know." Erik spoke up once he noticed you fall silent. " And I only realized this recently, but I think that was our downfall. When I asked you to marry me, what I was asking of you... Well, it was unfair. Because I know I would never accept that if I were in your shoes."

Your head shot up at his words, hands quick to wave at him dismissively. Asking him to meet you here was not to discuss what had gone wrong in your relationship, and you didn't want him to think that it was.

"Erik, that's okay you don't have to—"

"No, no, what I mean is... we made perfect sense together and it didn't work out in the end. This meathead of yours is nothing like you and maybe it's for the better. You said it yourself that he makes you feel important and formidable." He pressed on.

"Are you trying to imply the notion of opposites attract? Because I personally believe that's a myth and that we're drawn to those similar to us—"

"Puzzle pieces."

"Wha— Huh?" You blinked, blind-sighted by the calm man's sudden words.

Suddenly, Erik readjusted in his seat, leaning in close as he nodded his head.

"Think of life as one big puzzle, and everyone you meet is shaped differently, right? Yet somehow... they fit. We find those that complete us. And they're not necessarily opposites but—"

"But different pieces in the puzzle." You sighed, understanding the metaphor.

You raised a brow at the intellectual man, "That was uncharacteristically poetic of you. I thought you were a man of science... since when do you rely on literary devices to get your point across?"

Erik let out a dramatic sigh, fingertips pressed to the rip of his glasses, leaning back into his seat as if showing his greatness.

"I'm a growing man, Y/N. Science helps you understand the mind and the body, but as far as the heart goes... there's only so much it can tell us." He tutted wisely with a wag of his pointer finger.

"Wow. I dig this character development. I quite like this new you."

"Wanna get married now?" He deadpanned suddenly, a laugh ripping out of you at his unexpected words.

Erik grinned at the familiar sound, also finding the humor within his joke. He was pleased to see that if anything, he could at least momentarily take your mind off of your heart's turmoil.

"Ask me again in another three years." You rolled your eyes, grinning wide, to which Erik threatened that if Jungkook didn't by then, then he just might.