#Oc: Reile Auriven

[bite-the-bloody-hand]

((Pssst, if you want to know about Zell's husband in the original setting @thedosianexplorer and I have been weaving together, they're answering character asks about him over on their blog <3))

[thedosianexplorer]

I want 7 kinds of love from Auriven STAT: Eros 4, Philia 3, Storge 1, Agape 3, Ludus 5, Pragma 1 :3, Philautia 2, (and 4 because I am Greedy)

<3

Well far be it from me to deny you, dear. Comes with a read more since this got long:

Eros 4: Do they believe in love at first sight? Have they ever developed a crush or romantic (or erotic) fixation upon a stranger based on their appearance alone?

Auriven has developed erotic interest in people based on how enjoyable they might be to listen to or touch but romantic love is an infrequent feeling that takes a lot more than looks. He’s thoroughly grey/demi-romantic and the idea of love at first sight is absurd to him. How is their appearance going to tell him anything about how they would be in a relationship?! Three of his older siblings married before he went to university and said as much about meeting their partners for the first time. No matter what they said about understanding ‘when he got older’, it never made sense at any age so he decided to ignore it.

When he does experience romantic love it’s of the ‘love at fiftieth sight’ variety, when people become part of his routine and he looks forward to seeing them as much as anything else he likes to do in a day.

Philia 3: What qualities does your OC most value in a friend? Loyalty? Shared sense of humour? Or something else?

A pleasant speaking voice, though he’d prefer to say ‘curiosity’ or ‘shared sense of humor’ unless he knows the other person won’t judge him for it. Those qualities are important and can weigh more heavily in a person’s favor, but if he’s going to hear someone talk for an indefinite amount of time over the course of his life, they NEED to have a pleasant voice to listen to. Competitiveness and a love of friendly debate is something he seeks out in both friends and potential relationship partners.

He also appreciates patience, and people who think of him even if he hasn’t seen them in a bit or moved cities without mentioning it to anyone first.

Storge 1: Did your OC's parents love them unconditionally? If so then has this helped them feel confident as an adult? If not then how has this affected them? What were the conditions their family attached to their relationship?

Love was something more often acted out rather than said in his family home. Whenever one of his guardians* peeled and cut his fruit for him, or made his clothes extra soft in the wash even though it took longer, or sang to him before bed, he knew. Most of his guardians didn’t say it freely, but the ones who did made it sound sincere. No one would say their love came with conditions but Auriven picked up on the expectations as he got older: pick fewer fights, be quieter, study harder, marry well. Each more impossible than the last. He knows his family loves him and it’s made their disapproval harder to bear.

Agape 3: To what extent does your OC believe in the value (or even existence) of true altruism? Do they see an unselfish concern for the welfare of others as being naïve or foolish? Or as a moral quality to which people should aspire?

Auriven has a… complicated relationship with the concept of “true” (as dictated by culture) altruism. The concept reminds him too much of conforming to social expectations to benefit his family even at great personal cost. That’s not to say he doesn’t work towards a common good, but he does so when the cost to himself is something he can deal with (ie being sore for a couple days because he volunteered at a river cleanup or walking into work wet because he gave someone else his umbrella). He doesn’t consider his past work as a medic or utilizing those skills in an emergency ‘altruistic’ because being able to understand and respond in those situations gives him personal satisfaction.**

Ludus 5: What seduction techniques are most likely to be effective when it comes to your OC? Are there some things guaranteed to get them going? Or are they immune to such things?

He is weak for someone(s) sitting in his lap. He enjoys having his hair played with but he will physically move his head (or your hand) away if you’re not doing it right. Generally willing to be physically affectionate or reciprocate physical touch if he’s sure what the expectations the other person has (ie a one night stand or something similarly casual). Friendly competition also pays dividends with him.

Context is key with Auriven- approaching him at a gay bar or other local cruising spot with something as basic as, “Hey you’re hot, wanna fuck?” will get the ball rolling. He really appreciates the lack of ambiguity and ability to say “no thank you” so you can both move on with your evening. What throws up a lot of learned avoidance (read by others as obliviousness***) of someone’s advances is when mutual interest beyond casual hook-ups is involved. He can work himself into analysis paralysis trying to decide if he wants to join another polycule or reciprocate an acquaintance’s feelings based on what the social consequences might be if it doesn’t work out. He genuinely (to the point of feeling ill) hates hurting someone’s feelings without meaning to and a lot of his social skills were learned the hard way so he’s overly cautious. For those interested in a relationship, taking him by the shoulders and saying in a clear voice, “To clarify, I’m attracted to you sexually and romantically. I want to date, make out, and have sex with you in the near-immediate future. No, this is not a joke or hypothetical. Your thoughts?” would certainly do the trick. It worked for his husband.

Pragma 1: Is your OC in a committed long-term relationship (or relationships)? If so then what has contributed to this relationship lasting so well? If they are not in such a relationship, then is this something that saddens them or which they regret?

Auriven is married to two people he loves very much, and he is the most surprised out of anyone about that. His previous arranged marriage ended poorly (and prematurely, considering he skipped town after the first day of the ceremony) because he realized when it was almost too late that he would have to hide too much of himself and be someone he wasn’t to make a bunch of people who weren’t him happy. After burning that bridge with the matchmaker and his older relatives he didn’t think he’d ever get married, let alone to two people outside of his community. A few things changed: he left his community and finished university, got more comfortable engaging with what makes him happy, and met two people who left their homes for similar reasons who were willing to make space for him.

Philautia 2: Does your OC believe that it is important to love themselves in the first instance? Perhaps in order to be able to give and receive love authentically? Or because they believe first and foremost in "looking after number one"?

The emotional work of understanding and accepting himself in a loving way doesn’t come easily. He’s worked up to liking himself again, baby steps. He takes cues from the ways people he cares for have shown love for him and uses it to keep taking care of himself. After he ended his engagement he wallowed in the expectations he never set out to fulfill, not seeing himself as worthy of love; he credits his older sister and some of his more understanding relatives for pulling him out of it. He latched on to certain things that helped- treating taking care of himself as favors for Future Him helped him accept that he at the very least deserved clean clothes for the next day and fresh fruit. Now he’s at a point where he’s picking up old hobbies without apology and giving himself room to get weird with it. If that’s love then that’s something he’s happy to live with but he wouldn’t have gotten there without other people loving him first.

4: Which of your OC's qualities makes them the most proud? Do they think more people should be like them in this regard? Or do they quite like being rare in possessing it?

He’s proud (his sister would say vain) of his voice and how much control he has over it now, both speaking and singing. He’s very proud of not being squeamish about blood/injuries/etc because it made practicing medicine possible. He thinks people could stand to be less squeamish about bodily functions, even the messy ones (especially those tbh). He’s also glad he can appreciate music from technical and artistic perspectives and he takes pride in making good recommendations to others. His rarest skill that he’s especially proud of is that he always knows if it’s going to rain that day, and how much, regardless of what the weather forecast says. It’s honestly up there with first aid skills in terms of how much it’s come in handy.

*Auriven has two biological parents, several co-parents through his parents’ marriages, a step-parent (married to one of his co-parents), and other elders in the mix to raise him and his five siblings and if child Auriven knew what Home Alone was he’d pray that it happened to him.

**also because he learned those skills in the military, and enough years in the military had him sick of the concept of selfless sacrifice

***his wife thought she was dealing with the most oblivious man on the planet at the start, and technically she was. In his defense his bi awakening hit him like a semi barreling down a sleep-walking deer.

[thedosianexplorer]

OCs for the ask game:

Reile Auriven (he/him sun elf cleric/fighter), already answered Eros 4, Philia 3, Storge 1, Agape 3, Ludus 5, Pragma 1, Philautia 2,4

Ladwyn Eral'as (she/her drow warlock), already answered 3 for all categories

Nelivza Eral'as (she/they/it drow rogue/ranger)

Evaine Hawke (she/they Blue Mage!Hawke), currently answering #1 in each category

OC Questions on the Seven Forms of Love.

A little list of OC questions based on the seven types of love identified in Ancient Greek thought. Obviously this is a highly simplified presentation of some quite complex philosophical concepts from Classical History, intended more for the purposes of entertainment than education. I also left out Mania, which is arguably an eighth type of love (Obsessive), because I'm keeping it mostly positive in these tricky times!

Eros – Romantic, Passionate Love.

Is your OC romantic in the traditional sense? Do they enjoy giving or receiving gifts of flowers or confectionary? Or are there other courtship traditions from their culture of origin that are important to them?

How important is sex to them in a relationship? Do they see it as something essential to their happiness? Would they be able to remain in a monogamous relationship with someone they loved without sex?

How do they feel about public displays of romantic affection? Does it make them uncomfortable? How do they feel if a romantic partner kisses them in public?

Do they believe in love at first sight? Have they ever developed a crush or romantic (or erotic) fixation upon a stranger based on their appearance alone?

How closely is their opinion of their own beauty (or lack thereof) linked to their confidence? Do they see themselves as more or less worthy of love or sex based on how attractive they feel?

Philia – Affectionate, Platonic Love.

Does your OC have a Best Friend? If they do then how long have they known each other and how did they meet? If they don't then do they have a close group of friends they love equally? Or are they more of a loner?

Does your OC find it easy to make friends? Or are there barriers to them doing so? If so then are these due to issues of inclination, communication, or something else entirely?

What qualities does your OC most value in a friend? Loyalty? Shared sense of humour? Or something else?

Is your OC able to build close friendships with people very different from themselves? Perhaps in terms of culture, age or personality?

What is their most fervent wish for their best friend(s)? How far would they go to make it happen?

Storge – Unconditional, Familial Love.

Did your OC's parents love them unconditionally? If so then has this helped them feel confident as an adult? If not then how has this affected them? What were the conditions their family attached to their relationship?

Does your OC have children? If so then how fiercely do they love them? If they have more than one then do they love them all equally? If they do not have children then is this part of their future plans?

How far does parental approval (imagined or expressed) impact upon their current sense of self-worth? What might they sacrifice or attempt to achieve in order to ensure the approval of their parents?

Does your OC have any siblings? If so then did their parents have a favourite growing up? Has their relationship with their sibling changed in adulthood? If they don't have any siblings then do they perhaps feel they have missed out on an important relationship? Do they have any especially close friends who go some way towards filling that role?

Is your OC able to love without necessarily needing or expecting reciprocation or reward? Or are all their relationships to some extent transactional? Have they ever loved another person unconditionally, whether a child or another adult?

Agape – Selfless, Universal Love.

Does your OC wish to make the world a better place? How far do they see that as being their responsibility? What lengths would they go to in order to help achieve this?

Does your OC feel a spiritual connection to the world around them? Do they have a particular love for nature or living things?

To what extent does your OC believe in the value (or even existence) of true altruism? Do they see an unselfish concern for the welfare of others as being naïve or foolish? Or as a moral quality to which people should aspire?

Does your OC have a religious faith which emphasises the importance of a love for all people? If so then do they try to follow these teachings authentically? Or do they just pay lip-service to them? If not then do they follow a more martial or mercantile faith? Or none at all?

Does your OC find it easy to empathise with their enemies? Or do they see it as important to dehumanise them in order to combat them with sufficient determination?

Ludus – Playful, Flirtatious Love.

Does your OC have any particular favourite chat up lines? If not for themselves then perhaps ones they have suggested to a friend? How effective do these tend to be?

Is your OC particularly skilled at flirting? Have they had to practice this or does it just happen naturally?

How does your OC feel about one night stands? Have they ever enjoyed a night of passionate romance with a stranger? Is this something they are quite keen on recreationally? Or only something they might engage in under specific circumstances (such as the eve of a battle or after a difficult breakup)?

Who was your OC's first crush? How do they feel about it now?

What seduction techniques are most likely to be effective when it comes to your OC? Are there some things guaranteed to get them going? Or are they immune to such things?

Pragma – Committed, Long-Lasting Love.

Is your OC in a committed long-term relationship (or relationships)? If so then what has contributed to this relationship lasting so well? If they are not in such a relationship, then is this something that saddens them or which they regret?

What is the biggest challenge that your OC has had to overcome in a long-term relationship or friendship? What helped them get through this?

Are your OC's parents still together? To what degree do they look to their own parents as a model for their own ideal relationship?

After the initial fires of passion cool to some degree, what would keep your OC engaged in a relationship? Shared goals? Similar values? Or contented companionship?

What importance or value does your OC attach to marriage? Do they believe that it is important to make a public statement of commitment to another person (or persons)? Or are they more concerned about inheritance rights and security for their family? Or do they not see marriage as a necessary signifier of commitment and loyalty?

Philautia – Self Love.

Does your OC have a healthy sense of their own worth and value? Or do they see themselves as failing to live up to their original potential? Perhaps they are convinced of their own sinful or inadequate nature?

Does your OC believe that it is important to love themselves in the first instance? Perhaps in order to be able to give and receive love authentically? Or because they believe first and foremost in "looking after number one"?

Does your OC judge themselves by the same standards as they apply to others? Or are they sometimes hypocritical in condemning others for faults they also possess? Or perhaps they find it easier to forgive others for things that they cannot abide in themselves?

Which of your OC's qualities makes them the most proud? Do they think more people should be like them in this regard? Or do they quite like being rare in possessing it?

Has your OC always had the same opinion of themselves or has this changed over time? Have they learned to love themselves - perhaps with the help of others - as their journey progressed? Or have the consequences of their actions only served to erode their sense of self-worth?