#Obi-Wan X Sas Vom | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

agirlunderarock · 2 years ago

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OF AGONY AND HOPE

Story Summary: sith!Obi-Wan au, in which Sas was able to fly Padme to safety and deliver her children but at the cost of losing the man she loved. Five years have gone by since the fall of Republic, since the fall of the Jedi Order, since Sas said goodbye to the man she loves. Since then Emperor Palpatine has brought in new enforcers; Lord Vader his right hand, and Grand Admiral Abusivus a man Sas refuses to admit bares any resemblance to Obi-Wan Kenobi even when he stands right in front of her.

Pairings: Obi-Wan X Sas Vom (OC)

Chapter 2: Another Happy Reunion

Chapter Summary: 19BBY Anakin and Obi-Wan have just rescued the chancellor from the clutches of General Grievous. Not everyone is as pleased as they should be with the results.

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Warnings: N/A

Read on AO3

“Another happy landing,” Obi-Wan laughed with relief as he slumped back in his chair. He closed his eyes for a moment, his heart pounding in his ears, head pounding still from his fight with Count Dooku, but he was alive, and Anakin’s laughter was the final reminder that the end to the war would be just around the corner. He didn’t move for a long moment despite the smoke and electrical sizzles jumping around the room. Crash aside, he was honestly still feeling disoriented after gaining consciousness in the elevator shaft. He just needed to close his eyes for five seconds. That was all he needed.

“Come on Old Man, you can’t be that tired already. You were knocked out half the time,” Anakin chided and nudged his boot against Obi-Wans leg.

He raised a brow without opening his eyes. “I could have a serious brain injury Anakin, and here you are kicking me.”

“Thats how I can tell you’re fine.” Anakin held out his hand and helped Obi-Wan to his feet before turning and guiding the chancellor toward one of the somewhat intact port views. Already a small open aired transport manned by the Coruscant guard hovered just outside waiting to carry them down to solid ground and safety. Obi-Wan and Anakin’s lightsabers made quick work of cutting through the bridge’s view ports, and soon enough the two jedi and the Chancellor were looking up at the burning spacecraft as it sent large dark plumes of smoke into the Coruscant sky. Aside from the general exorbitant amounts of pollution filling the already hazy atmosphere, Obi-Wan couldn’t quite shake the nagging feeling that kept tugging at the back of his mind, that he had missed something.

Granted he did miss Anakin apparently killing Count Dooku, the one lead the Jedi had on figuring out the true identity of Lord Sideous, but somehow he didn’t feel surprised by that. He absolutely felt a mix of emotions thinking about that duel and what transpired, but surprise wasn’t exactly one of the emotions he felt. At least not in the sense that the duel came to those extremes.

He willed the thought away. He couldn’t continue to dwell on what should have happened, or what he could have prevented if he had not been incapacitated. He told himself it was just his worry about Ahsoka on Mandalore, that he would need to contact her soon. He still couldn’t pin down his thoughts or emotions on that issue either. He knew that Rex, Pyrrha and Bo Katan were with her, but that did little to assure him of any kind of victory against Maul. Again he pushed the thought away. It was out of his hands for the time being. All he could do was petition the council to intervene again now that the Chancellor was back on Coruscant.

“Maybe you hit your head harder than I thought,” Anakin’s voice pierced his thoughts briefly.

Obi-Wan took a deep breath through his nose, and tried not to choke on the awful smell of burning oil and steel before letting it out. “What makes you say that?” he asked, finally facing his friend with a raised brow.

“I don’t know you’ve got that kind of weird spacy look.”

“I assure you I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Just make sure you get your head checked-” Anakin paused mid sentence and a small fighter craft came barreling down toward the surface. If Obi-Wan hadn’t known any better he almost would have thought it was going to crash right into the landing pad.

“What is this about?” The Chancellor said stepping between the two jedi as their own craft finally reached the landing pad.

Obi-Wan’s brows furrowed as Anakin nudged him with his elbow before following the politician. He knew what his former apprentice was getting at, he just wished he wouldn’t be so open about his attempts to tease him. He put the thought aside for a moment. He couldn’t deny the anxious flutter in his stomach as the two person fighter craft touched down a little ways away. He couldn’t deny that he was happy to see the fighter and the two cabins open up from the top, the two women inside moving with just as much urgency as the Coruscant Guard trying to usher the Chancellor onto a transport back to the Senate Building.

In front of him, Anakin and Palpatine seemed to already be discussing the next steps to go after General Grievous, and though Obi-Wan was also eager to bring the war to an end, thinking about that so soon brought back the vague nagging in the back of his mind. He had to remind himself to take things one step at a time. He couldn’t let himself get caught up in those feelings. Then there was still the clean up after, reparations to be made, and the small matter of hopefully letting the senate re-elect a new Chancellor at last.

“Glad to see you’re both in one piece,” The dark haired human woman said. Jankari crossed her arms and though she did sound pleased to see them, Obi-Wan didn’t miss her complete disregard for the Chancellor. He understood she was still grieving the loss of ARC-Trooper Fives and from what he understood of the situation, she held the Chancellor personally responsible for what happened.

“Was there ever any doubt that we weren’t?” he said, unable to stop the grin forming on his face, as the green woman with Jankari barreled into Anakin for a hug.

Jankari raised a brow, keeping her arms tight around her chest, “Well considering how many pieces the ship was in, I’d say there was some reason to doubt.” She stepped aside as Sas let go of Anakin and eagerly jumped into Obi-Wan’s arms.

This was how their reunions went. Sas rarely greeted Obi-Wan first, he tried to only hold her for as long as what would be seen as appropriate. Though admittedly, he always held her for two heartbeats longer than he should and gave her a small squeeze before setting her back down on the ground. It didn’t matter if their current company, namely Jankari and Anakin, had some idea of what Obi-Wan’s relationship with Sas was, they continued to remain committed to their parts. Sas always being much more openly affectionate and Obi-Wan embracing it with a distant amusement.

This time however, was slightly different. Sas huffed in his ear as she squeezed him, and Obi-Wan did his best not to squirm as her breath tickled his skin. “Get out of here. Theres nothing more you can do?” She echoed his words from what felt like a lifetime ago when Anakin tried to get the buzz droids off him. ”Were you trying to give me a heart attack?" She pulled away abruptly an amused smile on her face, despite the waves of anxiety that poured off her in the force. “I have a bad feeling about this? Really? REALLY.” Sas had always been excellent at maintaining her physical composure. She often described her skill as an absolute necessity, and Obi-Wan, though he sometimes hated to admit it, found that it had been useful on several occasions, some of which had little to do with their roles in the GAR.

“Hey we’ve come out of worse things alright,” Anakin cut in as he, Jankari and the Chancellor turned to face Obi-Wan and Sas.

“Thats not the point-” Sas said, crossing her arms as she followed them to the shuttle.

“I think she means the comm silence after that comment had all of us worried,” Jankari cut in, her eyes darting between Sas and the Chancellor as he stepped aboard his shuttle.

Anakin followed after, not looking to see if Jankari or Sas was behind him. Already, the Chancellor had drawn the young Jedi Knight’s attention away again. Of course Obi-Wan wasn’t entirely surprised, as he was sure Anakin had plenty of questions as to how Grievous was able to get to the Chancellor so easily, and if he knew the fate of any of the other jedi who were sent to intervene. Shaak Ti hadn’t been on the ship, nor had there been any other signs of the Jedi sent to protect the Chancellor. Obi-Wan got the sinking feeling that there would not be much celebrating today in the temple.

“You’re really going to wait here?” Sas’ voice pulled Obi-Wan’s thoughts back to the surface. He had one foot already on the shuttle, but still he turned to her in confusion. Instead however, he found Jankari, standing a few feet away watching him warily. Well not really watching him but looking past him to where Palpatine had already sat himself in the shuttle.

“Yeah…someone has to to return the ship to the docks, and after your shaky landing its probably best I just fly the ship alone.” Ever since the incident with ARC trooper Fives, Jankari had a tendency to pull away any time she thought Palpatine would be around or involved in some way. He never discussed it with her, but Sas was deeply troubled when she found out about it. They had both been off-world when it happened, and yet again Sas had expressed feeling inadequate in maintaining her friendship with the hunter. Even now he could feel the uncertainty rolling off both women.

Sas didn’t press though. “Thank you Kari,” he heard her say as she followed him into the shuttle.

Most of the flight to the Senate building passed in welcomed, though slightly uncharacteristic silence. Well, somewhat. Anakin and the Chancellor kept up their conversation as the former updated the other on news from the Outer Rim Sieges. That was only to be expected between the two of them. Obi-Wan wasn’t entirely sure when it happened, or how it started, but Anakin’s friendship with Palpatine unsettled him in ways he couldn’t quite explain. The Jedi Master had a tendency to boil it down to wishing that he could have had that same kind of communication with Anakin over the years. While they were no long master and apprentice, and Obi-Wan trusted no one more than he trusted Anakin, there was still a barrier between them, one that didn’t seem to exist between the young knight and the Chancellor. That shield kept Anakin from confiding in him about his relationship with Senator Amidala, and Obi-Wan couldn’t help but wonder if his friend had told Palpatine about that.

Sas shifted in the seat next to Obi-Wan. She was actually the one uncharacteristically quiet. It wasn’t so much that he was expecting her to mouth off to the Chancellor for likely forgoing some of his own security protocols, as she had done so in the past among other things, it was that she wouldn’t even look at him. He supposed he shouldn’t be surprised though. Four years of knowing Sas and Obi-Wan knew that there was a part of her that questioned whether or not it was actually in the Republic’s favor to rescue the Chancellor. If Obi-Wan were being honest, he was slowly beginning to wonder the same thing.

“Master Kenobi,” the Chancellor’s voice pulled him away from those thoughts. “How much longer do you think this war will wear on? Surely, not much longer with Count Dooku gone.”

Sas crossed her arms and shifted again next to Obi-Wan. Her back was slightly to him, and had they been alone, she likely would have leaned back against him. The end of the war wasn’t something they both really talked about, despite wanting nothing more. Well, at the very least, he knew Sas would always struggle to imagine the end of the war, and now that it seemed within their grasp, he couldn’t quite explain why his stomach churned the way it did.

“I don’t think I’m at liberty to say Chancellor,” he started honestly. “I don’t imagine Grievous has the discipline to keep going on his own, nor the cooperation of other Sepratists Generals, however, how much longer the war lasts would depend almost entirely on how long it takes to catch him.” Just saying that out loud made Obi-Wan feel exhausted. Several times throughout the war he and the 212th had tried to capture the Cyborg and yet nearly every time he managed to find a way to escape. It was incredibly frustrating, but mostly exhausting. The only redeeming thought in it all was the possibility that he and Anakin had also given Grievous and the other Sepratists military leaders just as many headaches over the years.

“It shouldn’t be long,” Anakin followed up. “We’ll have that cyborg dealt with in no time.” There was a confidence in his voice that Obi-Wan always admired and appreciated when he himself was feeling less so, however he had to wonder if Anakin was really thinking through what could possibly follow after.

Again Sas shifted in her seat next to Obi-Wan, and while he and both Anakin were very aware that the green woman tended to move a lot when seated in a regular chair, it didn’t escape either of their notice that it was after each time commented on the end of the war. He would need to discuss it with her later. For now he would just need to hope that the Chancellor would not question her behavior.

“Miss Vom, is there something else you wish to add? You’ve had just as much experience with General Grievous as Master Kenobi-”

“My opinion has little bearing on the results,” Sas answered curtly.

“I would hardly say that,” Palpatine continued. “I doubt Master Kenobi would have kept you on his command team if your opinions had such little bearing.”

Obi-Wan felt the knot in his stomach tighten a bit at the comment. While everything the Chancellor said was absolutely true, Obi-Wan did value Sas’ input, something about the tone Palpatine used made his nerves crawl.The Chancellor’s words were just a little too close to the truth.

“No, no, no, you see, Master Kenobi and the other Jedi keep me around for what happens when this is all over,” Sas said curtly. Her ability to modulate her voice and features so that she still seemed calm, even playful, despite the frustration that rolled offer her was certainly a feat to behold. “You, Chancellor, have a massive mess to clean up politically when this is all over."

And there it was. Obi-Wan thought she had been doing well. At least this time she waited for him to ask for her comment. He wanted nothing more than to take her hand in his own, let her ground herself and let her know that he'd support whatever heated comment was about to fly from her lips. Instead, she sat up a little straighter meeting the Chancellor’s tired expression.

"Do I now?" Palpatine seemed amused.

"Sas, the Chancellor has been doing his best to keep the Republic in one piece," Anakin interjected.

Obi-Wan had to resist the impulse to roll his eyes. This of course was more for Anakin’s sake than Palpatine’s, but he would leave the remarks to Sas and do damage control after.

"Chancellor, there will be systems on both sides in dire need of aid and supplies, former Sepratist systems that will need to be negotiated with. Winning the war is only one small part of this crisis, there are still the grievances on both sides to be addressed or else this would have all been for nothing."

Obi-Wan felt the corners of his lips pull up ever so slightly. In another life Sas might have made a good politician, or a very poor one who spoke too frankly.

"Sas, it sounds like you want to let these systems off without facing any consequences for their treason," Anakin said, cutting in before Palpatine could speak.

"The Republic failed them, so they left. If the Chancellor does not take the time to consider what changes they'd like to see then we're all for the worst. You might as well put the last of those emergency powers to good use before handing them back over to the Senate and they hold another election."

Obi-Wan wasn’t sure how to describe the shift that overtook the transport at Sas' words. Despite the afternoon sun beaming through the portholes, washing everything in warm golden light, a deep cold passed through him and seemingly drained the color from Sas’ face. He looked between her, Anakin and Palpatine. Despite her green complexion somehow looking faded, Sas kept her composure and sat firmly in her seat. The Chancellor kept a rather placid expression as he watched her with his hands in his lap, but Anakin’s brows furrowed darkly over his eyes.

“All she means to say is that even once the war is over, there is still much to do and many relationships to mend,” he said, hoping to draw some of the attention away from her. “Just as during the war, she would like to continue her part to help the Republic work towards peace.” None of his companions seemed fully appeased by his statement, and the cold still lingered in his core. Obi-Wan didn’t like it, but it was something he would need to discuss with Anakin when they were alone.

Thankfully, the shuttle arrived at the Senate Building before anything else could be said. Obi-Wan watched as the Chancellor swiftly stood up, and exited the ship without another word. Anakin gave Obi-Wan a brief look that the Jedi Master assumed to be talk some sense into her, before leading R2 out of the ship as well. Sas on the other hand stayed seated for just a moment before sprawling back on the seats with sigh. If Sas felt the cold lingering in her, she didn’t let on, in fact she didn't appear to be affected at all. Even as Obi-Wan watched Master Windu and Yoda greet the Chancellor he couldn’t quite shake the cold, and mind grew as hazy as Coruscant skyline.

Despite this feeling, Obi-Wan considered stepping out and greeting a few of the senators, namely Padmé and Bail, but thought better of it as he saw Anakin searching the crowd gathered. He himself quickly searched the crowd as Palpatine greeted them, but noticed several usual faces were missing.

“You’re not going to see your sister?” Obi-Wan called over his shoulder to Sas.

“I talked to her just before the battle. Crix went off world to go visit our mom and our cousins. She’s either coming back tonight or tomorrow morning.”

Obi-Wan gave a brief nod before realizing Anakin was looking back up at him expectantly. Even R2 had already rolled out to mingle with the crowd.

“Are you coming, Master?” Anakin said, and again Obi-Wan wondered if he should. Then again, it wasn’t necessary that he himself debrief the senate, the Chancellor could do that himself, and so could Anakin. They were conscious for more of the escapade anyway, and then there would need to be a Council briefing- Obi-Wan didn’t consider himself prideful but he would be lying if he said he didn’t mind having to explain the fiasco in the lift system more than once.

“Oh no I’m not brave enough for politics,” he answered with a grin, “I have to report to the Council.” At least his excuse was actually a practical one. He was only going to be polite in greeting Bail and Padmé, but truthfully if he could avoid it, Obi-Wan did not want to be swarmed by the senators. His head still hurt, and the thought of being trapped in the echo chambers of the senate building only made it worse. He’d leave the politicians to Anakin, “Besides, someone needs to be the poster boy.”

He could hear Sas let out a snort from behind him.

“Hold on. This whole operation was your idea.”

“Let’s not forget, Anakin, that you rescued me from the buzz droids-” Obi-Wan started.

“Saved, is a strong word,” came Sas’ voice again, but this time much closer.

Obi-Wan tried to keep his thoughts focused as he felt her arms wrap around his waist. “And you killed Count Dooku, and you rescued the Chancellor carrying me unconscious on your back.”

“See you could have used ‘saved’ there instead.” Sas teased quietly, her breath ghosting across the back of his neck. He tried to let it just roll off of him, focus on what Anakin was saying, something about training. He let out a breath, but couldn’t fight the shiver that ran through him. Thankfully, the Holonet reporters were fixated on the Chancellor.

“Anakin, let’s be fair. Today you were the hero, and you deserve your glorious day with the politicians.”

“All right, but you owe me one, and not for saving your skin for the 10th time,” Anakin said, though Obi-Wan almost felt something like relief wash over the young jedi. He knew that, Padme might not have been in the crowd, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t waiting for Anakin. Clearly, he was hoping she was anyway.

“Ninth time. That business on Cato Neimoidia doesn’t- doesn’t count.”

“No it doesn’t, that was all Rouge and Jankari,” Sas chimed in loud enough this time for Anakin to hear.

“I’ll see you both after the briefing,” Anakin said with a wave of his hand before finally moving into the waiting crowd with a shake of his head. Almost immediately his friend was enveloped into the swarm of senators and reporters.

Obi-Wan watched for a moment before turning at the light brush of Sas’ lips over the back of his neck. As the steps folded back up, he let out a breath as he moved his hands over her arms around his waist still. “Patience, My Dear,” he said, lifting one of her hands to his lips.

Slowly, her arms pulled away and he turned to see a mixture of emotions cross her face. They poured off her in waves; concern, confusion, worry, longing, happiness. It wasn’t often that she was speechless, especially when they were alone, but her brows furrowed for a moment as she tried to search for the right words.

Then there was the little nagging feeling in the back of his mind. Obi-Wan had thought it would have cleared away with Anakin and Palpatine out of the transport, but still it hung like the thick mass of smoke still rising over the horizon where Anakin had crashed The Invisible Hand. He hardly imagined that it could be coming from Sas.

Taking a seat as the transport started to pull away from the landing platform, Obi-Wan gently guided Sas to sit next to him, one arm draped over her shoulders, the other hand still holding hers. He slowly wove his fingers with hers and leaned over to kiss the side of her head. “I’m sorry I scared you,” he mumbled against her hair. She smelled of metal, blaster fire and sweat still. As she leaned into him, it dawned on Obi-Wan how difficult this battle must have been for her. He was a Jedi Master trained to use the force to navigate intense situations like this battle, she didn’t have that ability, nor did the clones they served with. It was chaotic for him and Anakin, to say the very least. He could only imagine what the battle must have looked like to her. He wished he could promise that it wouldn't happen again, that he would not cause her to worry again, but that was impossible, even if Dooku was dead now. The cloud swirled in the back of his mind.

Just one more thing to add to his list of things to discuss with Anakin.

“Thats a pretty lousy apology, Pretty Boy,” Sas sighed and leaned into his hold. He could feel her shoulders rise and fall slowly as she took in a deep breath. In the reflection of the portviews, he could see the tired smile pulling on the corners of her lips. It was one he knew well. The smile she gave when she had so many thoughts clawing for attention in her head, and she was doing her best to ignore them all to be in the moment.

“Hmmm and how would you suggest I make it better?” He mumbled against her hair. Obi-Wan really didn’t have to ask what she meant by her comment. He knew what her answer would be, but he would be lying if he said he didn’t want to hear her say it. He nuzzled against her head, purposely freeing some loose strands of hair from her braid.

“You can start by making sure your kisses reach their target.” Sas shifted next to him, swinging her legs up so that they were draped across his lap.

“Well, you know there is a way that we can remedy that,” Obi-Wan chuckled as he sat up, moved his arm that was around her shoulder, more around her back and waist so that he could hold her closer in his lap.

“When you say things like that, it makes me think you’re not actually sorry.”

“You might possibly be correct about that.”

Sas narrowed her brown eyes at him. In the sunlight, he could see little green flecks in her eyes, shimmering like plants that grew under the water’s surface off the rocky coast on her own home planet. He wondered if she knew she carried that with her, that looking into her eyes was to see an entire world that she loved and lived for. He slowly untangled his fingers from hers, cupped her face and smiled as she leaned into his touch.

For a brief moment, Obi-Wan held the entire galaxy in the palm of his hand. Attachment was against the Jedi Code,and of course he knew that was exactly what their relationship was, but there was some small comfort in knowing how fleeting this moment was, and that she cherished it just as much as he did. Perhaps it was sad, and said more about their outlook about the end of the war, that they only could only imagine holding onto each other so long as the galaxy was crumbling.

He let out a breath and pressed another kiss to her forehead. They keep me around for what happens after. Sas’ words rang quietly in his ears. He felt his chest ache as he held her a little tighter to himself. She was absolutely right, that he would be requesting her assistance on missions to bring systems back into the Republic. The end of the war wasn’t truly the end. Their work never stopped. It didn’t matter what either of them did, their war, their fight never seemed to end. Another weight settled in his stomach.

"Where's your mind Obi-Wan?" Sas' voice pulled him back into the present. That was the only place he truly wanted to be.

"With my hero, my heart, my glowing star," he answered and smiled at the giggle she breathed out against his lips. He would happily drink in that sound for the rest of his life. Once this war was over, he planned to.

Her hand moved up and through his hair, only to pull away quickly when he involuntarily flinched at her touch. The back of his head, and honestly his whole back were still pretty tender from his fight with Count Dooku. Again her brows knit together with worry. “I was going to say you must have hit your head a little hard in there-” she started. Usually she was so quick to have some kind of sassy quip, but the worry never left her eyes as she tried to lighten the mood. “I hate being right about these things.”

“An hour or two in a bacta tank should take care of it well enough. Besides, there are others who need it more.”

“You mean if I can actually get you to go back to the medbay,” Sas’ hand moved down to his shoulder, guiding him down so that his forehead could rest against her own.

“Well I do have a report to deliver.”

“So do I, and since Anakin left, I guess that makes it my job to escort you there.”

“Sas, you know as well as I do that many of our troops will need medical aid first. Another hour or two without attention will not bring me any harm.” Even as Obi-Wan said it, he felt something was off. Truthfully, it felt as if he wasn’t supposed to survive this mission at all. Only Anakin’s sheer force of will allowed Obi-Wan to return alive and well.

“Yoda and Mace are getting briefed with the senators, why can't you just go get some bacta spray?" Sas had pulled her head away from him by this point, Obi-Wan still held her in his lap, but there was a wedge between them. He could feel it. He wanted to blame it on the cold that had gripped them both a few moments before. She sounded tired and frustrated. He wasn't helping in trying to make light of the situation he was in during the battle.

"If it will ease your mind, I will go to the medbay first," Obi-Wan said at last. He could let go of the situation, thank the force for letting him come out of it alive, but Sas couldn’t and it was much more difficult for her to move past it.

"Thank you, Obi-Wan," she started and looked away briefly. "I just… there was a lot at once- I thought I lost you.…”

Obi-Wan tilted his head and pressed a kiss to her forehead, just above her eyes. “I’m here now, and always will be.”

Sas made a noise in the back of her throat, something that sounded like it could have been a well, but he only let out a small huff out through his nose in answer.

She really didn’t consider that he could choose her, that anyone could choose her to spend their life with. Obi-Wan didn’t want to say how accurate she had been in her statements to the Chancellor about the end of the war. While he knew part of the reason Sas didn’t like to talk about the end of the war was because it left them in a very uncertain relationship, he understood that it was only a very small part of it. Both of them were well aware that the end of the war wasn't actually the end of the war. Negotiations would need to be made, treaties signed, and reparations made on both sides. The Jedi would likely be called in to take care of these situations as well, and so Obi-Wan would be out planet hopping again. Sas however would return to a planet one step away from civil war. The end of the Clone Wars wasn’t the end of their war, and very few people would willingly step into that kind of life. Obi-Wan had decided however, that he would for her, even if neither of them lived long enough to see their efforts rewarded.

He knew all these things and yet, Obi-Wan kept them all to himself. He told himself that it would be better this way. That should something happen to either of them, it would not feel like something was being taken from them. He told himself that he was protecting her, even if he wasn't so sure he believed that.

After a few moments in silence, Sas said, “I won’t ask you to promise not to do that again. I don’t think I would have survived this long if I thought that was a reasonable promise, but can you at least not…” she paused, her fingers thrumming on the back of his neck as she searched for the right word, “...give up so quickly?”

“Give up?”

“Go on, theres nothing more you can do, sounded an awful lot like giving up.”

Obi-Wan sat up a little then, realizing how grim it likely sounded from where she sat in the fight. Before answering he tightened his hold around her, and pulled her more into his lap. “What if instead, should anything dire happen again, I promise to do everything I can to come home, to come back to you.”

"Thats a big promise Obi-Wan," Sas answered, her brows pulled together.

Even as he heard himself say the words, Obi-Wan knew it was a lot to promise. Well, it was a lot for him to promise. Sas' request was more of what anyone would expect of him. That he would do whatever he could to finish the mission. They often left their relationship out of such things, it was easier to separate their duties and their relationship. They both knew what choices would win in the end.

However as Obi-Wan found himself staring at the end of the war practically at his feet, he was surprised to feel so tired and drained. This war was never how he imagined serving as a Jedi, nor did he see this role ending soon. He could tell himself that it was just the bump on his head that made him feel sick, but if updates they'd sporadically received while in the Outer Rim were correct, then even once the war was over the Jedi would not be allowed to return to their status before the war. They were servants of the Force not glorified soldiers or guards, but that was exactly the role he'd played over the last three years. He could not keep going on that way.

"You've got that far away look again, Pretty Boy," Sas said softly. "You don't have to promise me that."

With a soft sigh, Obi-Wan pressed his forehead back against Sas'. He wanted to promise her that. He wished he could give her more, she deserved more. "Perhaps it is a bit dramatic," he answered with a small smile.

"Only slightly more dramatic than what I'm used to from you," she teased. "Just don't give up on yourself so easily."

"I won't," he promised, before gently tilting her chin up and capturing her lips in a kiss. And you don't give up on us, he found himself thinking as he cradled her against him. Her soft lips moved hesitantly against his, like she was still thinking about his promise, or she was waiting for something to happen. After a few moments, she leaned into his touch and he could feel the tension melt away between them. He felt her flingers tug at his robes as she pulled herself closer to him.

“I love you,” she mumbled against his lips, her hand sliding down over his back to wrap around his shoulder. Sas was always one to hold on tight, to hold on a little longer than she should, and Obi-Wan normally didn’t mind it, but something felt different this time. Something about the way her fingers clutched at his robe, like each brush of their lips could possibly be their last. It wasn’t until he felt the tear slip onto his palm against her cheek, that he fully understood what she was thinking at that moment. Of course He could feel her worry, her fear, and the longing that radiated from Sas, but the missing piece clicked into place finally. She had nearly lost him before, on plenty of missions, but this was the first time since Fives’ death that they had been separated on a mission, the first time he truly, nearly died since then. Of course she was thinking about what had happened to Jankari and Fives, what happened with Pyrrha and Rex after she followed his leads. Obi-Wan felt the chill lingering in the back of his mind seep into his chest. He was not meant to survive the Invisible Hand.

Promises to return home were just as dangerous as a loaded blaster. Making such a promise was simply daring someone to pull the trigger and rip them apart. The Jedi taught that anticipating the future too much could distract from things happening in the moment. Obi-Wan understood that, and found himself turning to that reminder more frequently. However, Sas had seen too many future hopes collapse to ever feel comfortable thinking about it. She didn’t think or plan for her future because she was afraid to lose it. She was afraid to lose him.

Pulling away slightly, Obi-Wan once again pressed his lips to her forehead. “I love you too, Sas. I love you so much.” A small smile pulled at Obi-Wan’s lips as Sas nestled her head against his shoulder and neck. Holding Sas was like sitting in the warm glow of a campfire. Her spirit could melt the frost that settled in his chest. “I am sorry for worrying you, Darling,” he assured her. He didn’t promise her that he would always come back to her, instead he just held her tighter as the landing platform came into sight of the view port.

For just a brief moment the shadow passed over his mind again. He would need to deliver his report among many other things that needed to be discussed with the Chancellor’s most recent proposal. However the weight on his chest lifted almost immediately when Sas shifted to look up at him again. No matter what, even if he galaxy was falling apart, she would stand with him through it all.

"One more kiss, before we go back to pretending," Sas said, pulling him for a kiss before the transport landed on the loading platform. She was more urgent and hungrier than their previous kiss, but he was more than eager to match her needs. He pulled away breathless and yet still felt like he broke the kiss too soon. She shifted off his lap and gave his hand a squeeze as the shuttle landed. Thankfully there weren’t nearly as many people on the landing deck of the Temple as there had been at the Senate building. No one was actually there to greet them, most were clones or Jedi hurrying by taking care of their own business. Despite being surrounded by his people, and so much of what normally made him feel safe and at ease in his life, Obi-Wan couldn’t help but feel the nagging in the back of his mind. Even as Sas walked him to the med bay, the distance between them seemed immeasurable. He couldn’t explain it, nor was he sure he really wanted to at that moment. Instead, as a medical droid took a scan of his head wound, Obi-Wan felt the warmth of Sas’ kiss on his lips, and the weight of the unspoken promise he intended to keep.

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#Star Wars fanfic #star wars fanfiction #Obi-Wan fanfic #Obi-Wan Kenobi #obi wan x oc #Obi-Wan x Sas Vom #obi wan kenobi fanfiction #Sith Obi-Wan #sith!obi wan

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agirlunderarock · 1 year ago

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"Early twenties fighting for their lives, from dusk to dawn on the front lines, they sold their youth to take up arms, Broken Bodies, Broken Hearts." (Until the End by Chloe Ament) Sas still wasn't sure if Obi-Wan was actually standing in front of her. She had seen the attack on Utapau, barely survived the attack on the temple and hopefully helped others escape in the process. Of all of the impossibly real things she had survived and witnessed, believing that Obi-Wan had survived the fall and returned home was the most impossible. It was almost easier to pretend that she was still on the ground outside the communications tower, that if she kept her eyes closed she could indulge in this dream longer. And yet, as much as she wanted to guard herself against the emotions that would surely drown her, the warmth of his hands cradling her face, and his breath ghosting over her cheeks as his forehead settled against hers, assured her that she wasn't dreaming.

I have been wanting to share this for such a long time! This wonderful art was made by @agingerpanda! I literally have not stopped obsessing over this piece since I've gotten it. My friend your art is just delightful and wonderful and so much fun to look at. Just the relief on both of their faces absolutely kills me, and I've never been more motivated to try get to this part of the fic. Thank you so much for bringing Sas and Obi-Wan together for this piece! They look so beautiful just in this one brief moment of happiness and peace despite everything they've been through. Thank you again so very much!

#Sas Vom #Star Wars OC #obi wan x oc #sw oc #Clawdite oc #star wars art #commission #oc: Sas Vom

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agirlunderarock · 1 year ago

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Sunrises and Fireworks

Summary: Its been five years since Palpatine was outed for playing both sides of the Galactic Civil War, but getting out of bed is still a losing battle. Treaty week is upon Obi-Wan and his family but not everyone seems eager to celebrate in Theed.

Pairing: Obi-Wan X Sas Vom (OC)

Warnings; Fluff, all fluff no angst, no hurt comfort just straight up fluff and Obi-Wan enjoying life without war and outrageous missions.

Read on Ao3

A/N: This was requested by @heyhawtdawgs who had been asking that 1. I write Obi-Wan happy and no longer angsty and 2. Obi-Wan interact with some Boga babies, but since I can't write just a few hundred words this turned into a nine and half page One shot that took several months to write. Its fine its totally fine. Divider used is by @saradika As always I hope you enjoy reading!

The first thing Obi-Wan was aware of was the warmth washing over his face, and flooding his eye lids with the glow of mid morning light. Keeping his eyes closed he rolled over and reached for Sas to bury his face in the crook of her neck. However, where he had thought to find the soft sleeping form of his wife, Obi-Wan's hand spread over a cool and empty bedside. He blinked his eyes open confirming again that his bedside was empty. He felt his chest tighten as his mind very quickly came up with the worst possible scenarios. Each thought grew more intense than the last. He clutched the sheets trying to force the thought away that he'd open his eyes to find himself alone on some desolate backwater planet.

“Oops too hot-” a woman's voice exclaimed from another room.

The war ended five years ago and yet it still had a tight grip on his psyche. He supposed that was something that would never really go away. He would feel the effects as time marched on. That of course went without saying, he had enough physical markers from the war littered over his body. He had a lifetime to think about that though, and he would prefer to focus on the sounds drifting through the house and the open door to the bedroom.

Rolling over onto his back, Obi-Wan looked up at the ceiling of his bedroom and took a few deep breaths to still his mind and calm his racing heart. He just needed a minute to ground himself in this moment, to remind himself that the war was over, his fight was done, they won. He had chosen to live the rest of his life for himself, or at least as much of himself as he could imagine without feeling selfish. He folded his hands on his stomach and took another deep breath as he focused on the sizzling sounds from the kitchen, the warmth of the sunlight streaming in from the window, the light weight of the blanket against his bare torso, and the soft sound of Sas’ humming as she moved around the kitchen.

“Ow kriff!”

That was his cue to get up.

Loud sizzling filled the hallway. Sas must have been rushing in the kitchen again.

Rolling out of bed, Obi-Wan decided that it was time to spoil the surprise Sas had for him. It wouldn’t be the first time and he preferred to spend the morning with her rather than laying around waiting. Being with her every morning was a much better surprise than bringing food into their bedroom.

During the war he didn’t dare to entertain the idea that he could spend his life with the woman he loved, at least not in the way one would normally think of. Sas herself had kept a strict rule of never talking about a future together, not because she didn’t want it, but moreso because neither could imagine a life that didn’t involve one of them, if not both of them, giving their life to the war cause. Yet, by some grace of the Force, the war ended, Sas was no longer fighting to prevent civil war on her planet, there was an active effort to negotiate and find compassion between the systems that were at war. He supposed it helped that one man responsible for playing both sides and was responsible for a good portion of their problems, but still there was room for growth and reflection on the part of the Republic.

This left room for Obi-Wan to focus on other things for the time being. Things that didn’t have to do with the state and well being of the galaxy. He married Sas. She was his wife. Five years passed and the little rush that fluttered in his stomach hadn’t subsided whenever he thought of her as his wife. He was still a Jedi in all ways but title, but he understood why the Jedi had their rules about attachment. He had to choose, and this time he chose a life for himself.

The way Obi-Wan understood things, was that the Force laid two path’s before him. There wasn’t one right or wrong answer, but he had to trust the Force to guide him along both. He had expected the long hours of meditation as he considered the life he would lead going forward. He expected questions and concerns once he had made his final choice. What he hadn’t expected so much compassion upon his leaving. That Sas would encourage him to stay with the Order, that his Jedi family was so understanding of his need to leave and encouraged him to visit and return should he ever need guidance. He didn’t consider himself a person who dwelled too long on the past, or stress too often about the future, but the life he currently led, wasn’t one had ever imagined he would have. He felt at peace with his choices, and there was peace in his heart.

He paused by the doorway to Jinn’s bedroom, the window curtains drawn open to the Naboo countryside painted orange by the rising sun. Obi-Wan watched the little lump still sleeping soundly under a pile of blankets. Again he found himself wondering how five years ago, he, Sas and Anakin had been fighting for their lives in trenches of the Outer Rim Sieges. After all of that, why didn’t he deserve to have this peace in his life? He supposed he wasn’t being completely fair, they volunteered their very lives for a manufactured war, and only just managed to put an end to it before it was too late. Obi-Wan’s children would have the chance to live a quiet life he nor his wife had never known. This absolutely included not having to wake up before the sun rose to meditate. Jinn would get to sleep in a little longer.

“Good morning, My Dear,” Obi-Wan greeted as he came up behind Sas. Before she could turn around he wrapped one arm around her middle, and the other hand gilded slowly over the large swell of her belly. “You’re up early ,” he observed , placing a light kiss against her emerald colored neck as she leaned her head back against his shoulder.

“I had to pee,” she sighed honestly as she placed a hand over his own on her stomach. He slowly rubbed her hand over it, as if to soothe the fussy child giving his wife a hard time. “Our little one was being extra pushy, squishing my bladder, and demanding I be up early. Thought we might surprise you, but I should know better than to try that by now. The good news is I just finished the bacon, so if you distract me, we won’t almost burn the house down.”

“Darling, are you still trying to pin the blame on me?” he teased, pressing a kiss to her jaw. “I cannot help it if you are so easily distracted,” he nuzzled into the crook of her neck and felt her shiver in his hold despite the mild morning.

“I told you, I’m going to have to change your nickname from Pretty Boy to The Arsonist. It’s almost like you want me to burn down our house.”

“Oh no, I just want you,” He said with a kiss to her cheek this time. Without her tattoos painted on, Obi-Wan could have sworn he saw some color rise in her face. Pink patches had yet to appear on her neck or shoulder, but he could see her cheeks turning a slightly deeper green.

"Hmm you can have me, in… hold on, seven months in… two months! Actually four and I'm all yours again."

“Four months?”

“Two months until I can deliver the baby, and then another two months for us, mostly me, to catch up on sleep after” She gestured vaguely with her free hand and closed her eyes with a sigh. “On second thought we’re going to need a lot more than two months. You know I think I slept more during the war.”

“You said you wanted another,” He reminded her with a kiss to her forehead.

“You were supposed to remind me that I didn’t like being pregnant last time. That my back hurt, I hated feeling sick, and I hated waddling back and forth everywhere-”

Obi-Wan chuckled. “I did remind you of all that, and what did you say?”

Sas grew quiet for a moment, reconsidering her life choices. She stopped his slow circles by weaving her fingers with his own and humming to herself. “I said I’d be fine.”

“That is not what you said.”

“Yes it is!”

“In those exact words?

“More or less…” She started, and this time Obi-Wan could see the deep green flush across her cheeks and a little pink patch bloomed where his breath whispered over her neck. “But,” Sas continued, before he could properly remind her of her exact wording, “I knew things would be fine, if you were with me. So long as I didn’t face the diaper wars alone, I thought I would be okay, and I was mostly right.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Obi-Wan asked, a small amused smile playing on his lips. Nuzzling the small pink patch, he found himself pleased with her reaction. He had her flustered already, but that didn’t mean he was about to let up. For as long as they had known each other it still felt rare for her to stumble over her words like she was now.

“It means I was mostly right.” Obi-Wan couldn’t help but roll his eyes, “Then what were you wrong about?”

“That there was nothing in the galaxy that could make me happier in that moment.” She reached one hand back and up to guide his lips to her own.

His eyes slid close as he let himself melt into the kiss. Though brief, he felt her warmth in the Force radiating like the early morning sun rising outside the kitchen window. He was more than happy to bask in her light for the rest of his life. He held her close as she leaned back into him. As he pulled away he placed one last kiss to her forehead, “I love you, Sas,” he breathed against her skin.

“I love you too.”

For a moment Obi-Wan just held his wife, letting her sink into him, and slowly swaying with her. Nothing Obi-Wan could have imagined included a reality where he spent his mornings this way. He just needed a few moments to be present with Sas, to hold on to the lightness he felt in his chest, and be thankful for things working out the way that they had. He took a deep breath.

“We’ve got a long day ahead of us,” Sas murmured, her hand rubbing up his arm.

Obi-Wan just hummed thoughtfully in answer. “Indeed we do, might as well enjoy the quiet while we can.”

"Lots of fireworks, lots of people- And we're only on Naboo, can you imagine Coruscant?"

"I can picture it too clearly. Thankfully Padmé and Anakin are staying in Theed this year, so we don't have to go to Coruscant, like Rex and Fives."

"I didn’t tell you? Pyrrha and Jankari invited us too-" Sas laughed.

Obi-Wan just hid his face in her neck. He loved returning to the temple but not during Treaty Week. Theed was overwhelming enough, since they were always with Padmé and Anakin, but Coruscant was too much. The temple was still his home, but his home was always swarmed with holonet reporters, during this specific week. Part of why he and Sas stayed in the Naboo Lake country was because it was so far away from it all. They would visit the temple after the festivities died down.

That and somehow in the last five years they'd managed to adopt two full grown Veractyl but that was a different matter altogether.

“I was about to say at least there aren’t any statues of you in Theed, but well they're just of a younger you." Obi-Wan felt himself momentarily deflate, and earned a laugh from his wife as consolation. "Lucky for us then, I said that it was their turn to have Coruscant to themselves. We get to blend in the background this time on Theed.” She raised his hand to her lips and kissed his knuckles. “Luke and Leia will be very happy to see you and Jinn- Oh! Can you check on Jinn? He was up helping me earlier, but went back to his room once I started making the bacon. He said he had a nightmare about Boga being scared of the fireworks.”

Obi-Wan blinked a few times trying to process the several shifts in conversation. “I just looked in on him, he was still asleep.”

“Maybe he went back to sleep. He did say he was going to try to have another dream.”

He pursed his lips with a small nod. While Obi-Wan always felt that his son had a connection to the Force, he was also a little wary about his emerging abilities. This was usually why morning meditations weren’t something that they normally skipped. Dreams were rarely just dreams. More often than not, they offered a vision of things that could happen or offered insight to what someone was feeling. Jedi Order or not, both Sas and Obi-Wan felt it was important for their children to learn to connect with the Force.

“I’ll check on him. Boga might not be the only one scared of the fireworks,” he said, before gently squeezing his wife in his arms one last time before going back up the hall to their son’s room.

“Jinn,” Obi-Wan called softly as he entered his son’s room. “Jinn, are you awake?” Even as Obi-Wan sat on the bed, as he had done many times, something felt off. He expected to feel some sort of weight move or shift once he sat down but there was nothing. Obi-Wan reached a hand toward the lump huddled under the blankets. “Mama said you had a dream?”

He reached for Jinn’s shoulder, only for his hand to sink into something soft and plushy. He gave a gentle squeeze expecting his hand to meet some resistance in his son’s shoulder. Instead, the lump gave way under his fingers. He felt his heart rate pick up. Obi-Wan’s brows furrowed as he quickly patted down the rest of the lump, only to be met with the same plushy give. He pulled back the blanket only to find pillows and a stuffed bantha and veractyl lined neatly under the sheets.

"Sas? How long ago did Jinn go back to bed?" He was already jogging back down the hall, his heart threatening to burst in his chest. The line of boots in the doorway was already missing its smallest pair.

"Just a few minutes before you got up, Love- What's wrong?" Sas asked from where she was setting the food on the table. “Obi-Wan?” She called after him.

Obi-Wan was already moving out the door, shirtless and missing his shoes.

There was only one place that Jinn would have gone to.

The veractyl stables.

Jinn’s path down to the barn was still visible in the dew-covered grass. Though a little windy, like he got distracted by something, Obi-Wan could clearly see the end of the trail leading up to the barn doors. Obi-Wan did his best not slip as he sprinted for the door, the chirps and whistles of the veractyls getting louder the closer he got.

Then came his son’s voice crying out over the noise.

“Jinn!” He called as he threw open the doors. His heart pounded wildly in his chest as he quickly scanned the room for his son.

A loud clatter of a beam rang through the barn, followed by the squeals of laughter.

“Dada! Help!” a little voice called.

Before Obi-Wan could find where exactly the voice came from, something rammed into the back of his knee, sending him tumbling toward the ground. Little hands clutched at him only finding grip on the waistband of his pants.

“Hey wait a minute-`” he exclaimed, turning to fend off the little hands from accidentally pulling down his pants only to fall over onto his butt, much the same way Jinn used to when he was learning to walk. Before Obi-Wan could fully process how he ended up on the ground, tiny arms wrapped around his neck in a firm hug, and two small Veractyls, one violet and one green and teal, came charging up to him, their tails swishing excitedly as their bodies wiggled with each step. He put out his hands trying to keep the creatures from jumping on him only to have the arms squeeze him tighter. If he could breathe, he would have been laughing at the little veractyls trying to dodge around his arms. It was as if someone were pulling them on some invisible strings.

“Jinn baby, we don’t hug that way remember,” Sas’ voice called from the doorway.

Immediately the arms loosened their hold, and air rushed into Obi-Wan’s lungs. In that same moment he managed to stop the little creatures by letting them run their heads into the palms of his hands. “Settle down,” he breathed between laughs, but they only scrambled harder on the dirt floor trying to get around his hands, their loud chirps of protest rang out through the barn. With a deep breath and wishing for them to calm down, their wiggles slowed before they settled beside him and nosed their way under his arms.

“Sorry Mama,” Jinn said, as his mother came more into the barn.

“Not to me-”

“Sorry Papa,” Jinn said, moving to stand in front of Obi-Wan and holding out his arms to him, as if asking for a hug this time. His dark hair was standing at unnaturally odd ends, and had straw sticking out of it. The banthas trudging along Jinn’s pajama bottoms looked like they were trying to escape being tucked into his little rubber boots. Clearly the five year old had been prepared to be out in the stable for a while.

“Thank you for apologizing, Jinn,” he answered, hesitantly lifting his arms from creatures at his side before his son crashed into him. “You are forgiven, just be a little careful next time.” He held his son close, one hand cradling the back of his head as he kissed his forehead.

“Or you’ll turn blue?”

Obi-Wan shook his head with a breathy laugh. “Yes, if I’m changing colors then something is wrong. Luckily, that won’t be happening any time soon.”

“Maka is blue,” Jinn stated as he untangled himself from Obi-Wan, sat in his lap and motioned for the small teal veractyl to come closer to him. She chirped happily and curled up between Obi-Wan’s legs.

For a brief moment Obi-Wan held his son and just watched as Jinn gently smooth out the wispy feathers along her head. Maka’s large eyes slowly closed with each pass of his little hand until she had her head in the child’s lap on the verge of sleep. “Ow!” Gia, her sister, nipped her beak sharply at Obi-Wan’s fingers, clearly displeased that she was not getting nearly as much attention. “Alright, girl, I’m sorry,” he sighed using his free hand to gently run his hands over the smooth violet scales along her side. She gave a few sassy chirps before wiggling away and following after Sas as she walked further into the stable.

From her pen, Boga chirped at her little one as if to tell her not to ram into the back of Sas’ legs like she had done to himself. Gia, instead continued to chirp and zip between Sas and looking like she might pounce on Jinn if he looked up from Maka. After a few laps, and one more warning from Boga, she settled back in next to Obi-Wan’s hip with a small huff. “There, there Gia,” Obi-Wan said, rubbing the smooth scales of her belly. “Maybe next time don’t try to knock me to the ground.”

Further into the stable, Obi-Wan watched as Sas made her way to Boga and ran her hand over her beak. He couldn’t hear what his wife was saying to the dragonmount, but the low chirps that came from Boga were unmistakably happy. She nudged her beak against Sas’ chest who laughed and rubbed down the dragonmount’s neck again.

“Papa? What are you smiling at?” Jinn asked, turning his blue eyes up toward him.

Obi-Wan hadn’t realized he was smiling at all. Truthfully he was just finding himself awestruck again by the turns his life had taken to get to this point. Of course he couldn’t exactly explain all that to his five year old. If it was overwhelming for him to think about surely it would be overwhelming for his son. But maybe it wasn’t he didn’t have to know the why after all. “I’m watching your mother talk to Boga and-”

“Why?”

Okay he should have known that was coming. “She makes me happy, just like you do.” Obi-Wan lifted his hand from Gia and offered it to Jinn. Despite having done this numerous times, Obi-Wan felt a flutter in his chest when his son placed his palm over his. “Take a deep breath,” he said before doing the same and taking a moment to close his eyes. He smiled feeling Jinn lean back against him as they both breathed out, but in his mind he could see Sas embracing Boga again, Jinn running after him with the veractyl hatchlings. Another deep breath and Obi-Wan felt the warmth of his family wash over him. No matter what he had been through before, this was his place now, and there was nowhere he would rather be.

“You and Mama feel like sunlight,” Jinn said as he reached his other hand out to Sas as she walked by.��

“Do we now?” she asked, swinging his hand and ruffling both Jinn and Obi-Wan’s hair. There was something in the way the sunlight danced off Sas’ hair that briefly had him mesmerized. He could see the first few strands of silver hair burning orange in light, the faintest hint of smile lines around her eyes and corners of her lips. She was beautiful, she always was, but somehow in that moment the last eight years of their lives felt more real and weighted. A lifetime of fighting, years of war, and somehow they’d survived it, earned their smile lines and slivers of grey alongside their scars and faded wounds.

“Mama, he’s being silly again,” Jinn’s voice pulled Obi-Wan back to the present. “Oh he’s always being silly,” Sas assured him. “Thats why he came out without his shirt and shoes.” As if on cue, both Gia and Maka pounced at Obi-Wan’s feet, much to Jinn’s delight.

“It wasn’t on purpose,” he said, trying to keep Jinn from falling and keep his feet away from the veractyls.

A louder chirp came from the far side of the stables and Gia and Maka scrambled away to their mother. Boga nudged them a few times with her beak, playfully pushing them back as they tried to jump on her, their little legs seeming to flail about with each jump.

“I was just in a hurry,” Obi-Wan said after a few moments.

Sas just hummed in answer and gave Jinn a knowing look, like the two of them were sharing some kind of secret. She then focused on Obi-Wan. “Well, lucky for you, I brought them out to you. Can’t have Gia and Maka clawing you all up right?” Sas said with a wink as she handed him a dark blue shirt. He didn’t need the force to know there was something more she wanted to say, he could practically feel it rippling off of her. Thankfully she let her grin speak for her thoughts, but he still felt heat rising in his face and ears.

He looked away for a moment as he pulled on his shirt. “Thank you, Darling, I’m lucky to have you looking out for me.”

“You’re welcome,” she said leaning down to kiss the top of his head. “I’m going to finish up breakfast, you two should come back in soon,” she added after kissing Jinn’s head as well. “Crix and Marker will be here soon to load up the speeder, and we still have to finish packing-”

“Sas, Darling?” Obi-Wan said, taking her hand.

“Yes?”

“We’re going to be okay.” He pressed a kiss to her fingers. “Its only two nights we’re staying there.” He pressed one more to her knuckles. He saw the tension in her shoulders slowly leave as she took a deep breath and let his reminder sink in.

“Thank you, Obi-Wan,” she said, giving his hand a small squeeze before making her way back up to their home.

Jinn had been watching his parents the whole time, and though Obi-Wan knew his son absorbed things like a sponge and was always watching them closely, he found himself surprised by his look of distaste. His nose held little wrinkles and his brows furrowed together. Sas had always said Obi-Wan made a distinct face when he was thinking really hard, he hadn’t fully realized what kind of face that was until he saw Jinn making the same one.

“Something bothering you, son?”

“Mama didn’t listen to Boga. She told her I couldn’t go.”

“Boga said you can’t go to Theed with us?” In all honesty between almost losing his pants and being tackled by his son and the veractyl, Obi-Wan had forgotten to ask why Jinn had come outside in the first place.

“I had a dream about her getting scared of the fireworks. She’s afraid of the big ones. They’re too loud.” Jinn kept his eyes fixed on the open doorway where Boga, Maka, and Gia left the stable.

“Is that why you came outside?” Obi-Wan rubbed his back slowly, while Jinn’s little hands twisted the hem of his shirt. “Why don’t we go for a walk and you can tell me about your dream,” Obi-Wan offered.

Jinn again wrinkled his nose, before looking up at his father before really taking a moment to think about it.

“Or at the very least you can tell me why your stuffies were hiding under your blankets pretending to be you.”

A mischievous giggle bubbled up from Jinn in answer, his eyes crinkling around the corners much like his mother’s when she was up to something. “They were cold.”

“Mhmm I’m sure they were, they looked very comfortable under your blankets.”

Jinn only giggled more, but held his arms up to be carried, finally accepting Obi-Wan’s offer.

After a brief moment of Obi-Wan having to wrestle his boots away from his son, he finally had his shoes on, and walked out of the stable holding him.

“Boga!” Jinn cried, as the dragonmount playfully rolled over in the field, while Maka and Gia leaped over onto her. Their loud chirps and whistles rang across the field as they moved closer to the edge of the lake where another large, though not larger than Boga, violet veractyl, Agob was waiting for them.

For a brief moment Obi-Wan was abruptly reminded about all the precautions he would have to take housing Boga and Agob to ensure that they would lead to an invasive species issue on Naboo. That he had Sas even had to before the Queen and her advisors to get permission to house the dragonmounts. He might need to update them on some other precautions given Maka and Gia, but for the time being everything was still fine and manageable.

“Boga said I can’t go to the festival today or tomorrow.” Jinn said, breaking the silence.

“You said you had a dream that she was scared, right?”

“The big fireworks scared her,” Jinn said with a nod. “They’re loud…” Again his face got that scrunched up thoughtful look. Like he wasn’t sure what to say, despite having more to say. “She got scared in the barn, and there was no one to help her.”

Obi-Wan nodded, wanting to take his son’s vision very seriously. While Obi-Wan was certain that Boga would in fact be frightened by loud sounds like fireworks, he got the feeling that Jinn’s dream wasn’t really about Boga. “Boga isn’t going to the festival though, she’s staying here, and no one here will be doing any sort of fireworks. Did she tell you why you can’t go?”

“She said-” he giggled again, as Gia overestimated her leap, threw herself too far over her mother and tumbled to the ground. “She said I have to protect her from the big booms”

Obi-Wan nodded, “She will be perfectly safe here away from all the fireworks. But are you worried about them?”

Jinn nodded slowly. “They’re too loud and make my brain funny.”

“Can you tell me how they make your brain funny?” For a moment Obi-Wan was dragged away from his peaceful life on Naboo to back to the Clone Wars. The sound of an explosion and a firework weren’t all that different. Five years had passed, and though Obi-Wan never fully let down his guard, he had done his best to let go of his anxiety. Sas had too, but even she still jumped or gave his hand an extra squeeze at each burst.

“My ears get full, but the fireworks are so pretty. I like the colors.”

“The colors are very nice.”

“Yeah.”

“I think I might have a way for you to just watch them, without it being too loud.” Obi-Wan felt something unclench in his chest as Jinn’s eyes widened and he looked up excitedly.

“Really?” he asked. At Obi-Wan’s nod however, his brows furrowed low over his eyes. “What about Boga?”

“Hmm, can you tell me where you and Boga were in your dream?”

“We were in Theed…but she’s not going to Theed.”

“So do we need to worry about that part of your dream?”

A large smile broke out on his face. “No! And Gia said she’d protect her-”

“Well good. Let's go back inside to eat. I can feel Mama watching us through the window.”

“Mama’s blowing kisses,” Jinn giggled.

“We best not keep her waiting then.”

Obi-Wan leaned against the balcony railing watching the parade dance by below. Hundreds of people marched by, waving flags and color costumes, some even had some lights that made the whole street glow. Despite the cheering, and confetti, and lights and music, the energy flowing through the streets was nothing compared to the energy radiating off of the three children running zipping and dashing in and around the balcony trying to watch the parade between the pillars holding up the railing.

While admittedly Obi-Wan was on his third cup of caff to keep up with Luke, Leia and Jinn, he was happy to hear them laughing and playing.

“Uncle Obi!” Leia exclaimed, pulling on the sleeve of his tunic. “They’re coming they’re coming!” “I wanna see!” Luke cried, trying to climb up his side to see over the bannister.

“Hold on-” Obi-Wan said, doing his best not to let either of the children get too close to the railing. Wrangling the veractyls had seemed easier than wrangling Skywalker children. “Take a seat over here,” he said, leading them to a spot on the balcony that had a clear view of the streets, and the float Padmè would be on. He kept the twins in front of him, one hand on each shoulder, wanting to make sure that neither of them got any ideas about trying to lean between the columns.

“Did we miss them?” Sas asked from behind, holding Jinn’s hand as they walked out on the balcony.

“Not yet.” Immediately after Obi-Wan answered her, a flash of blue light washed over the courtyard, and the figures of Padmè Amidala, and Anakin Skywalker were projected over the heads of the people.

Luke and Leia erupted into cheers with the rest of the crowd, but the holoimage of Anakin seemed to look directly at them and give them a wide grin and a wave. Padmè followed suit, but then turned her attention to the crowd of people.

“Five years ago the Republic was engaged in a civil war…” she started. In all honesty, Obi-Wan wasn’t really listening to his friend’s speech. He had heard Padmè practicing it in the background of holo calls with Anakin. Instead, he found his attention drawn to the crowds moved by Padmè’s words, just like they are every year. Just moments before they had been cheering and dancing, now they stood listening in awe. Leia and Luke looked on, washed in the same blue light, with a mixture of pride and admiration in their eyes. “Together we can continue to rebuild relationships, and forge new connections to make a better galaxy.”

The moment she ended her speech the sky erupted in a burst of colors. Blues, pinks and purples littered the sky as the firework show began. Below the crowd exploded into cheers, but at his side, Sas held Jinn to her side as he looked to the sky wide eyed.In his ears, Jinn wore small ear pieces to block out the majority of the sound. He wiggled in his mother’s arms before moving next to Luke and Leia. Obi-Wan reached out and pulled Sas against his side before pressing a kiss to the side of her head.

“You missed,” She teased as she reached a hand up to guide his attention to her.

“I never miss. I just like to hear you ask for another,” he teased, kissing her palm on his cheek, and then pressed a soft kiss to her lips. “I love you,” he said softly, though he quickly remembered she couldn’t hear him over the noise of the fireworks or her own ear plugs.

Still, just smiled and mouthed the words, “Love you, too,” before resting her head against his shoulder. He leaned his head against hers when he felt her put her own arm around him and closed his eyes, letting the colors of the fireworks dance behind his lids. He took a deep breath, soaking in the moment, and slowly let out his breath. When he opened his eyes, Jinn and the twins were still laughing and watching the light show above, the woman he loved was content in his arms, and there was peace in his heart.

Tag list: @itsonlymyecho @heyhawtdawgs @pickleprickle

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#obi wan kenobi #star wars fanfic #obi-wan fanfic #star wars oc #obi wan x oc #sas vom #sw fanfic #Happy Obi-Wan #boga the varactyl #Obi-Wan X happiness #revenge of the sith never happened #skywalker twins #Star wars #Obi-Wan probably sees his life flash before his eyes at least twice in this fic #both times are because of crazy twins #fluffy fic #Obi-Wan and Boga

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agirlunderarock · 7 months ago

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So I did a thing

I attempted to draw Sas and Obi-Wan at sunset.

If anyone was wondering where her tattoos are, she actually paints them on! So because they're supposed to be in hiding she feels its best to leave them off.

I'm happy with this for now but hopefully I can do some more drawings.

#star wars oc #obi wan kenobi #star wars fan art #obi wan x oc #Sas Vom #oc: Sas Vom #Sasi-Wan

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agirlunderarock · 2 years ago

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OF AGONY AND HOPE

Pairings: Obi-Wan X Sas Vom (OC)

Chapter 3: Proposals

Chapter Summary: Sas is called into Grand Admiral Abusivus' office

Previous Chapter

Warnings: N/A Honestly its not violent or anything yet so like? Just know the general warning is that I fell asleep while typing this several times. I live and die by those typos. This story is basically lovers to enemies to lovers so make of that what you will?

Read on AO3

The Meeting room was too loud.

Despite the quiet murmurs of the Imperial Officers in the room, Brisa felt as if they were all shouting in her ears, looking at her assessing her. Under normal circumstances she could tune it out, ignore them, carry her head high and walk out without sparing anyone a single glance.

Her heart beat was too loud.

She didn’t register when the switch happened, only that she felt far away from the room itself. There was too much going on. Grand Admiral Abusivus was giving her directions, that much she was aware of. What those directions were specifically she couldn’t say. The pounding of her heart beat was slowly replaced by officers slowly filing out of the room, their footfalls echoing off the sleek walls of the war room like cannon blasts going off in Brisa’s ears. The lights were too bright. Harsh glares reflected off every surface straight into her eyes. Even Captain Dirgo’s pointed stare seemed to carry the weight of the cold reflective surfaces that lined the doorway.

Sas didn’t remember following Grand Admiral Abusivus. Her world stopped spinning the moment her eyes met his burning yellow irises. Yet, she noted the way the Grand Admiral walked just a step ahead of her, his broad shoulders blocking most of her view of the hallway. In the back of her mind she could hear the faint echo of his words, “We best discuss the expectations for your position in my office.”

Was that where he was leading her? Sas couldn’t even be sure he had really even said those words. The back of her hand still burned with the warmth of his breath, but if she were being honest Sas couldn’t say whether or not she wanted to put the fire out.

Be mindful of your feelings, they can betray you.

Sas could hear Obi-Wan’s voice echo in her head, and despite the warmth in her chest at the memory of all the times he had said that to Anakin, she felt fear crawl its way into her throat. She couldn’t focus, the world still spun, but felt as if she were flying through a dust cloud. She couldn’t trust her own thoughts, her feelings. The Grand Admiral could and would manipulate them, if he hadn’t already. He knew the easiest ways to access her mind, he knew every feeling, thought and desire she had.

The sudden realization that she was about to be captured, questioned and tortured, had Sas’ stomach churning. She had to get to her apartment, she had to get a message out, call for an extraction.

“At ease Captain Brisa,” The Grand Admiral’s command pierced the fog. Sas blinked as her body automatically relaxed its stance, feet shoulder width apart and her hands behind her back. "I assume you understand why I've brought you here," he finished.

Truthfully Sas was trying to figure out what was more disturbing to her, that her body didn't hesitate to act on his command, or the way he didn’t tear his gaze away from her. She hadn't even fully processed that she was standing in his office. Whatever challenge he had issued her and whatever composure she had mustered up in the presence of her fellow officers, dissipated in the cold tension between them now.

Sas slowly scanned his office. Of course it was pristine and organized. She expected nothing less. She was, however, surprised by the amount of objects on display. Not that he wasn't sentimental in the past, but each object was placed purposely, deliberately within view of her standing position, not the person who would normally be sitting at the desk. These objects weren't just for decoration, he was sending a message. A small statue of a Twi'lek seemed to glare at her from its pedestal in front of a large painting of a familiar Alderaan mountain pass. The statue bared a striking resemblance to one she had seen in the home of Eleni Syndulla, during a rather melancholy feast. It looked over them while they celebrated a Republic victory on Ryloth. Sas couldn’t force herself to focus on the painting behind it. She tried to focus on the other side of the room. In front of another painting, stood a sculpture of a four legged beast of burden that was native to Onderon. The same kind of creature she and Obi-Wan had ridden into the Separatist filled city with Steela and her freedom fighters. Something twisted painfully in her chest.

“Forgive me,” Brisa answered, her voice sounding much weaker than normal. “I assumed we were going to discuss my expectations for my new assignment.”

“Most of your duties are outlined in the entry log-” He paused abruptly, looking right through Sas before his eyes settled on her again. “But you’re already well aware of those duties aren’t you?” Abusivus moved to stand in front of his desk, right in Sas’ line of sight. He absolutely knew who he was speaking to. There was no way around it.

“Sir, I’m not sure I understand-”

“You need not continue your act,” he said calmly, though Sas could easily detect the tension in his voice. “No one else is listening right now.” Five years apart and he could still read her without trying. Then again, she supposed that it was easy to read her when he had the ability to directly feel what she was feeling and could purposely tamper with her thoughts and emotions. That was the only way to explain the black hole that erupted in her chest. She felt heavy and empty all at the same time, like she would fall right through the glossy white floors, the rest of her memories and feelings drawn into her void.

Sas kept her eyes focused on the portview behind him, just over his shoulder. It was the only way she could look at him without having to actually look at him. She heard him breathe out slowly, his shoulders tensing and then falling ever so slightly, as if he were gripping something. If she had the nerve to look up at his face she was sure she’d find his auburn brows furrowed low over his eyes. She tried not to picture the expression, yet the memories of all the times she pressed her lips to his forehead, just between his brows, came rushing back to her.

She couldn’t trust those memories.

Sas was very aware of how he could manipulate her thoughts. Even though she didn’t feel the odd pressure around her head that came when someone was attempting to manipulate her through the force, she couldn’t be sure that he wasn’t. He knew her mind better than anyone, possibly even more than her own sister. At one time she had trusted him with her life, her dreams, and her secrets. She trusted him to love her as she was, to accept her past, and understand what she expected in their future. There was absolutely nothing she could hide from him. She needed to look elsewhere.

Everywhere she looked was a reminder of their shared past, of how he'd thrown everything they fought for away. Even if he wasn’t using the force, Abusivus was finding other ways to manipulate her.

Sas’ eyes burned with unshed tears, and her throat closed. She couldn’t breathe. If she had been a weaker woman, she might have fallen to her knees, even clutched at her aching chest. Sas didn’t understand how her chest could feel so hollow and yet feel so tight. She couldn’t tell if this was her own body betraying her or if this was his doing. “Sir-” She croaked. Even to herself her voice sounded brittle and weak. She couldn’t break in front of him. Abusivus could undoubtedly feel what she was going through, she couldn’t let herself be so openly vulnerable with him.

The Grand Admiral moved to stand directly in front of her, his shoulders and the hot tears stinging her eyes obscuring her view. He hadn’t touched her, not even with the force, and yet the fire that burned under her skin and caught in her throat was his doing. He betrayed her, their friends, and their family.

“Why did you bring me here?” Sas demanded in a whisper. She kept her hands clasped together behind her back, worried that her hands would shake, that her whole body would tremble if she wasn’t careful. “Just tell me what you want and get this over with.”

“Sas,” his voice was soft, just as quiet as her own as he stepped closer to her.

A blaster shot to the chest would have burned less. This wasn’t the voice of the man who addressed the Imperial officers just a few moments before. This was the voice that whispered to her in stolen moments between missions. This was the voice that teased her behind closed doors, told her she was loved, that she was worth more than what she could provide to others. This was the voice that comforted her in dreams, and she missed more than anything in the galaxy. A voice she thought she’d never hear say her name again.

His gloved hand reached out to her cheek, gently brushing away her tears. “I thought you were dead…” His other hand came up and cupped her cheek, before he leaned down to press his lips to her forehead.

Every fiber in Sas’ body screamed at her to push him away. That this man helped the Empire conquer the people they swore to protect, and yet she could only stand frozen in place. Her heart hammered quickly in her chest. The familiar feel of his breath dancing over her skin sent a tremor through her body. The tickle of his beard against her forehead was enough to make her eyes slide close. For five years they'd been apart, grown into different people and yet this simple action sent her right back to the quiet nights they spent on her ship.The back of her hand, the one he kissed just moments before, still felt heavy with the weight of his kiss.

Sas had thought the black hole had been in her chest, that every memory she’d had of him was being dragged in to try to fill its void. With his admission, she realized that he was the point of gravity in the room. No matter how many reminders screamed at her to wake up to reality. She should be angry, had every right to shove him away but instead she found the ache in her chest soothed by his closeness. She could pretend that this was just another quiet night on her ship. That he had been away on a long mission and was tiredly pressing kisses to her head. As always he would be hesitant to hold her, but he would hold her, assure her that he was safe. She could pretend that they never lost each other, that they didn’t lose so much more. All she had to do was keep her eyes closed.

Gradually her body relaxed and her arms fell to her sides. If these were going to be her last moments, Sas almost wanted to just let herself enjoy his touch. She could pretend that he was the man she loved. Just one last stolen moment before it all came crashing down. After all that was how they loved each other best, when the galaxy was collapsing around them. What made this time so different?

Be mindful of your feelings, they can betray you.

Sas took a deep breath. Those thoughts could not be her own. As tired of the fight and hiding as she was, Sas could not give in to those feelings she had. She had to get back home call for an extraction. That had to be her priority. Her thoughts and feelings were not her own while the Grand Admiral was around.

Slowly opening her eyes, Sas moved her head a little away from him and looked up at him expecting to see the burning amber eyes of the man in the meeting room, but instead she only found relief relaxing his face and closing his eyes. Again she could feel her resolve slipping, and again she recalled the memory of the times she and Obi-Wan would meditate together. Some of the jedi teachings were starting to make a lot more sense to her. She had to let go of those memories, and the ache in her chest. She took another deep breath. Abusivus may look like the man she loved, but that man never escaped Mustafar; he died there, and there was no going back.

She forced herself to look away.

Behind him, on the desk, was a large piece of stone propped up on a display frame, a familiar swirl etched into its surface. It was one of the crests from the Mobari temples on Zolan, from her home. The red stony clay marked the stone as not from the temple in the capital city, but the carvings along the rocky cliff overlooking the ocean. He had been to her cliff side city, her home. Sas couldn’t help but wonder if this had been before or after the blockade was put around her planet. Her gut told her that he only could have taken the carving after it was in place.

A new spark caught fire in her chest, this one white hot and explosive. She breathed in deeply, holding her breath for a moment and letting her anger chase the longing from her heart. It didn’t matter what Abusivus could make her feel, he wasn't Obi-Wan. He might have his voice, his mannerisms, and appearance, but Sas knew better than anyone that a convincing disguise did nothing to hide whoever was underneath it. She had learned that lesson the hard way.

It didn’t matter when Abusivus took the crest from her home world. None of that mattered. Their history didn’t matter. What mattered was that Sas had people depending on her. Padmé, Jankari, and Pyrrha were depending on her to gather as much Imperial intelligence as she could. Abusivus was just another obstacle in her way. She just had to hang onto her anger long enough to leave the office.

Letting out a breath, Sas raised her hands to his wrist and slowly lowered them away from her face.

“Darling-” he started. She hadn’t realized she was trembling until he stiffened under her touch, there was no doubt he felt the shift in her mood. Another deep breath and she steadied her hands. “What are you-?”

“Please don’t call me that,” Sas answered as evenly as she could. She could hear the waver in her voice and told herself it was anger. It wouldn’t be good to have Captain Brisa leaving the office in such an emotional state, even if Sas was struggling between giving in to his gravity, or letting her rage devour her. Either one would make it more difficult for Sas to leave the building alive.

Abusivus pulled his hands away from hers then and straightened up. Sas didn’t meet his gaze. “I’m sorry,” he answered, even managing to sound genuine. “I- I missed you.”

There was another blaster bolt to her chest. She took another deep breath, the words I missed you too nearly choking her as they fought to leave her lips. Instead she looked to the Onderon statue, the Twi’lek figure, the stone crest on his desk. She tried to imagine the dirt under her finger tips, imagine the circumstances where he took those things as prizes for his conquests. She could harden her despair, she had to. She had to go home and call for an extraction.

“I saw you crash…I thought I lost you” He started again.

“You did. Four years ago.” She finally met his gaze. Part of her hoped she would find the clear blue eyes of the man that she adored, but still she was met with cold amber eyes, his brows furrowed low over them.

“Sas-”

“Tell me you didn’t have anything to do with the blockade around Zolan. Tell me you didn’t attack my home!”

Silence fell heavy between them. Abusivus loomed over her, his jaw clenching as his gaze hardened. Sas wanted to strike him, demand an answer, instead she let herself feel the sting of his betrayal as she dug her nails into her palms in a tightly clenched fist. Whatever comment he had been about to make was lost under the weight of her demand. Sas had seen the look before. When he was choosing his words carefully. She was an enemy now, and she knew well enough how Abusivus used to negotiate with his enemies. The only reason he was paying her this decency was likely for the sake of their past relationship. He took a step away from her, nine years of war suddenly seeming to weigh down his shoulders as he leaned back against his desk.

“Perhaps I wouldn’t have needed to take such measures, if I did not have to clean up after your messes,” Abusivus said at last as he stroked his beard..

That was worse than a blaster shot. A tremor ran through her as she tried to make sense of his comment. “You just said you thought I was dead.”

“I did. When I first caught your trail, I wasn’t so sure-”

“What trail? Nothing has happened-”

“Does a missing intelligence officer on Onderon sound familiar, it should.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh then perhaps on Naboo? Ryloth? Or maybe the ambush on Jabiim sounds familiar? It goes without saying that many troopers and agents went missing in the early days. If Saw Gerrera, or Cham Syndulla picked off a few agents during an investigation, it wouldn’t be much of a surprise.”

Sas held her breath. She knew exactly what missions he was referring to. She hadn’t stayed in Imperial Intelligence for so long without avoiding combat zones and running into old faces. Each that he referenced however weren’t exactly huge blows to the Empire. She had been sure about that.

“It's incredible really that an officer not trained for combat could survive so many large scale skirmishes, but you seem to be at the center of each one. Of course when I first started looking into these encounters I thought we just had a very lucky officer on our hands, that perhaps we just kept sending in one of our best as she’s proven to get results. It’s not unheard of, after all.”

There was nothing Sas could do but stand and listen. Her lungs ached with every word she wanted to shout at him. She could just walk out. That would be the smart thing to do. She could walk out, be careful that no one followed her home, and hope that Crix could call an extraction for her before it was too late. She couldn't leave just yet though. Sas couldn’t break down and she couldn’t storm out, she still had people depending on her.

"There were two conclusions I could have arrived at, this of course after conducting my own investigation," Abusivus continued. “The first was that Rola Brisa was indeed just a fresh face and eager to prove herself. The second was much more fantastical, however there was no record of anyone recovering your body from the temple, and yet you had been reported as killed in action. I’m guessing someone, probably yourself, made sure that information was in the databases. There was even speculation that you had something to do with the death of Senator Amidala. Though, with you being here, I’m guessing that she and her children are alive and well.”

Sas stayed silent, not wanting to confirm or deny any of what he was beginning to realize. Maybe he already knew, or had always known. She wasn’t sure she really wanted to think about how long he possibly suspected she was hiding in Imperial ranks.

He paused for a moment studying her, as if for a moment she was one of the trophies in his office he could turn and examine however he pleased. She supposed she was in a lot of ways, though that was hardly a reassuring thought. "However, that isn't what I wished to discuss, not now anyway," he said seemingly more to himself than to Sas. “Against my better judgment I looked into the fantastical option. There was something…comforting in knowing you were still carrying on this pointless crusade-”

“Stop, just stop!” The words burst from her. “Just stop talking!” Sas squeezed her eyes shut. She couldn’t listen to him say that. She couldn’t talk about this. None of it made sense to her. She couldn’t believe it was all for nothing, that his friends, his people died for nothing. She felt the tears spill over her cheeks, and she took a deep breath trying to focus on the pounding of her heart in her ears. She needed to control herself. If she shifted now, she’d never leave his office alive.

“I’m sorry-”

“Are you going to kill me?” Sas cut him off.

He crossed his arms over his chest, his pristine uniform seeming more like restraints as he stroked his auburn beard. “Why would I do a thing like that?”

Sas still didn’t look in his eyes. “You did just tell at least a dozen Intelligence Officers to report to you if they found out anything about me.” She didn’t like this game. She just wanted him to be straightforward with her.

“Ah, I supposed that would be your natural conclusion.”

Sas gritted her teeth. For just a moment she had been willing to pretend that the man in front of her could make her feel whole again, that she could somehow look past the situation they found themselves in. Something in the casual tone he used to answer her made the hair on the back of her neck stand up.

“Then what the fuck do you want from me?” She said at last.

Abusivus’ lips quivered upward briefly as if he were amused by her question. He stroked his beard once, then twice, letting the silence stretch on between them.

“Can you just get on with it-?”

“Patience,” he said, the small grin still in place. “Forgive me for wanting to pick my words carefully before I make a proposal.”

Sas hated the way he said that. She knew he phrased it that way on purpose. Five years apart and he was trying to get under her skin in the worst ways possible. She crossed her arms over her chest. It was the only way to hold herself back from slapping him across the face. Not even when he had been a Jedi did he ever joke about that. While she always knew a marriage and a life after the war together was never in their future, she never would have thought it would have come to this conclusion. They were on opposite sides of the war now, and he had thrown away everything they had fought together for. Somehow he still had the nerve to make jokes about a proposal.

“Just spit it out,Traitor,” Sas said at last, her body trembling with the build and mixture of emotions warring inside her chest.

“Oh no my de-” He stopped himself and shut his amber eyes tightly for a moment before continuing. He let out a breath. “You understand that I found you, right? Had anyone else had the sense to dig deeper they would have found you. If anyone else found you, you'd already be in an interrogation chamber.” He said, his tone almost seeming annoyed, but his brows had that little furrow they always got when he was thinking hard about something.

Had he not cut her so deep, she might have felt sympathy for the brief hint of anguish that crossed his features. She might have even taken his warning seriously. But this was Abusivus, not Obi-Wan, and Sas wasn’t going to let him make her feel so vulnerable again. She kept Brisa’s face in place, watching him with serious but tired green eyes.

Abusivus continued when there was no answer. “I can petition to have you cleared of any charges, Sas. You wouldn’t need to disguise yourself any longer-”

“So what's stopping you? Shouldn’t be difficult for someone like you.” All he was offering was empty promises. Once upon a time they had sworn to each other that they wouldn’t do such things to each other.

“Might I ask what information you’re specifically looking for at this time? Obviously you’re spying for someone.”

“I’m not feeling inclined to share that.”

“I should have guessed as much.”

“Is that all you wanted from me? To figure out who I��m working with and what they want? I would have thought a sith lord would have had a more tempting offer than to just clear my record.” Each word felt like a crack forming in a pressurized tank. She felt too many things, but he needed to know how he hurt her. What he was doing to her. She needed to relieve some of the pressure.

The faintest hint of a smile came to him. “I believe you’ve turned down better offers with much less at stake. You must forgive me for that very poor attempt.”

“I don’t have to forgive you for anything.”

Again the Grand Admiral shut his eyes for a heart beat too long. “I don’t suppose you do, and I should understand why. It is a shame it has come to this.”

“I’m not so sure it would have ended any better for us in another life,” Sas answered simply. She would have preferred it wasn’t this one, she would have preferred an ending where she died before having to know how wrong things truly went.

“I like to imagine there is at least one reality where we end up happy.”

“You’re purposely trying to distract me. Just tell me what you want or kill me.”

“Sas,” he started again, and for a moment she caught a glimpse of the man who lit up her world and kept her going during the clone wars. The one who kept her safe and made her feel loved. “I need your help. I can’t do this without you.” He looked to something behind her for just a brief moment and she got the feeling they were running out of time. “What if I told you, that your perception is flawed? ”

“What if I told you, I’d rather get back to work,” Sas answered. She still had people waiting on her, but she was going to be more careful about her words.

If she were being honest with herself, and she was very worried that she couldn’t be in that moment, something about his tone sounded familiar. He was asking her for help, but she wasn’t sure what exactly he needed help doing. He said her perception was flawed. She could only assume that things weren’t quite what she was expecting them to be. He hadn’t killed her yet so that at least was a good start. There was more to it though.

Sas turned away from his gaze. Hanging on the wall next to another painting of the Naboo countryside, was something that looked like some kind of schematic. The longer she looked the more the halls looked like tunnels twisting and knotting underground. She blinked and it hit her. It was the layout for a Geonocian factory.

Abusivus’ offer reminded her of the one Count Dooku made him nearly ten years ago when they had been captured on Geonosis. Dooku had told the truth then. Maybe Abusivus was telling the truth too. Maybe he hadn’t really fallen.

She looked back to the Grand Admiral. The corners of his lips pulled upward ever so slightly.

Perhaps Abusivus planted that thought in her head. There was only one thing to do; be smarter than Obi-Wan had been when faced with this same choice.

“I want the clean slate, pay raise, no questions asked, and I’ll do whatever you need me to,” Sas answered at last.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As always thank you for reading! I hope you are enjoying this story so far! It was meant to just be a one shot and has taken on a whole life of its own lol And like always, likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated! Thank you for the love on the last two chapters!

Tag List: @itsonlymyecho @heyhawtdawgs @pickleprickle

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#star wars fanfic #obi wan fanfic #sith obi wan #obi-wan kenobi fanfic #sw fanfic #sith obi wan fanfic #obi wan kenobi x oc #sith obi wan x oc #obi-wan fanfic #obi-wan kenobi #sith!obi wan #sith au #lovers to enemies to lovers #ya'll feel free to yell at me for this one like theres a lot to keep track of here i'm not gonna lie #Sas Vom #my girl is putting up with so much and she's so damn tired of this man's dramatics #a lot of this one is based on fics i haven't written yet so i'm very sorry about that oops

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agirlunderarock · 5 months ago

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I know I asked once before but cannot find it. Who is the artist who made your beautiful header image?

Lolol no worries I'm happy to answer!!

My header was done by @agingerpanda 🥰

This one is like background for all my devices too 🤣

I have another from her that I've been dying to share but it goes with a fic, and I'm trying so hard to at least get the part shown 😅

#star wars fanart #obi-wan x oc #oc: sas vom #sasi-wan

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agirlunderarock · 2 years ago

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OF AGONY AND HOPE

Summary: sith!Obi-Wan au, in which Sas was able to fly Padme to safety and deliver her children but at the cost of losing the man she loved. Five years have gone by since the fall of Republic, since the fall of the Jedi Order, since Sas said goodbye to the man she loves. Since then Emperor Palpatine has brought in new enforcers; Lord Vader his right hand, and Grand Admiral Abusivus a man Sas refuses to admit bares any resemblance to Obi-Wan Kenobi even when he stands right in front of her.

Chapter 1: Reunion

Pairings: Sith!Obi-Wan X OC (Sas Vom)

Warnings: Anxiety attack? nervous vomits

Read on AO3

A/N: This was inspired by art work by @p1nkmic linked here I have some plans to turn this one into a full fledged fic if anyone would be interested in that. But incase I don't get there here is the first chapter just written as a one shot. As always likes, comments and reblogs are always appreciated! Hope you enjoy!

Sas took a deep inhale.

Slow exhale.

She let her breathing gradually return to its normal cadence. There was nothing to worry about. Green eyes as vibrant as her natural skin stared back at Sas in the mirror. Black slicked back hair contrasted against the unnaturally pale skin she hid behind. She could blame it on the bright lights of the refresher she stood in, the light’s glare threatened to make her seem whiter than the snow she once trekked through on Pantora's moons. For a moment she wondered if she focused hard enough, if she could make herself translucent. She had never tried before, but if there was any moment to try, now seemed like the best time to do so. It wouldn’t help, even if she could. The face of Rola Brisa would have to be enough for the time being. The Director for Special Operations, her new supervisor, would likely sense her the moment she walked in the door. There was no way around that.

Taking another deep breath, Sas gripped the sink with all the strength she had. This was where she was supposed to be. Ultimately, Sas knew that she would end up in this position sooner or later, she had just hoped it was going to be later. Maybe she had even hoped that the Empire would have discovered her by now, anything to avoid facing him.

She released her breath. This was part of the plan. Jankari, Senator Organa and the others were counting her and information she could gather about the Empire’s military movements, to figure out how much information they truly knew about rebellion. She knew this was coming. It was inevitable, if Sas was doing her job well. That didn’t make her apprehension any easier. Another gag erupted from her throat and Sas threw herself to the floor in front of the toilet.

A few more moments passed as Sas tried to keep down whatever was left in her stomach. She wanted to stay there on the ground, head on her arms, and just wither away. She knew she couldn’t of course, someone would eventually find her body and that was a different mess she didn’t like to imagine. She stood up with a groan, her ghastly white uniform was now wrinkled and disorderly. Truthfully Sas didn’t care, but Rola Brisa, an ambitious Imperial officer absolutely cared, so Sas had to care.

She checked her watch. There was still time for her to change into an extra uniform. A quick glance in the mirror and Rola gave a sigh of disappointment. Not only was her uniform unpresentable, but her hair had fallen out from its place as well. She spent a few extra minutes washing her mouth and face, attempting to make sure that there was no trace of Sas Vom brewing under the surface. Thankfully a little foundation went a long way, even if it would leave her at home trying to scrub it off for longer than she cared for. Today though she would rather be safe than sorry.

It didn’t take her long to change and touch up her makeup, and yet once again her stomach lurched at the thought of the meeting today. She still had a few minutes and so sat at her desk and closed her eyes. She did her best to focus on the firm cool surface of her desk under her fingertips and let that douse the burning under her skin. Sas stayed shifted so often these days, the pain was constantly with her. She wished she could say she had grown used to it, and in some ways she had grown numb to it, yet it burned just under the surface the same way her ears constantly rang despite the silence.

The beeping on Sas’ commlink alerted her that it was time to go. Again bile boiled in her stomach and it took every ounce of self control she had to not run into the refresher. There was nothing else to be done. She grabbed her data pad and walked out of her office.

Every step Sas took to the conference room, felt like another step into her own demise. She could leave, she knew she could, but leaving meant risking so much more. So much of her own life had been woven into Rola Brisa’s, to have her vanish now would draw just as much attention to herself. The last time Sas had felt so trapped, she had locked herself and several in the Jedi Temple war room.

Brisa quickly pushed the thought away, took a deep breath and forced herself to ignore the way her boots echoed down the hallway. It didn’t matter if she could tell that another set of boots joined hers, she had one destination in mind, and she needed to focus on keeping her composure. One slip up and it would be Sas Vom sitting in the meeting and being dragged off to a torture chamber.

“Have you read the reports?” a male’s voice asked, as he fell into stride with her.

Brisa kept her eyes focused on the hall in front of her. “Of course I did Captain. You’d be a fool to not read the reports before this briefing.” Brisa didn’t need to pretend to sound cross with the man at her side. Captain Gaiblel Dirgo had been one of the more bothersome constants at her side since she began her climb in Imperial rank. She had the unfortunate pleasure of working with him on several projects, which only meant that she truly never had a moment to turn the Captain off. If anyone in Imperial Naval Intelligence could claim to know Brisa well, it was him. His only quality that she appreciated, however, was that he had the sense enough to know that they weren’t friends.

“So I’m guessing you saw the comparison between former Republic strategies. Rumor has it these pirates have a Jedi leading them,” he said. She didn’t need to look at him to see the grin spread across his face at the thought of such a challenge.

“I read the breakdown. I think you’re giving them too much credit,” She said tiredly. Truthfully Sas didn’t have to read the report to know what was going on. She had been the one to coordinate those rebel attacks. Sure, Quinlan was occasionally leading the charge and stealing Imperial Cargo ships on her behalf, but it was her plan and she had sent him and her sister the information necessary for them to lead the raids. This was their sign that it was time to back off for a short time. They were too close. She just hoped that she would live long enough to relay the message to them.

“Too much credit, really?” Dirgo said incredulously. “I think you underestimate them.”

“Perhaps. But I don’t think you’re seeing the big picture Dirgo. What they’re doing and the way they’re doing it is unsustainable. It won’t be long-” She stopped when she came to the briefing room door. There was more truth to her words than she cared to admit, but it was how she made her dismissal sound genuine. “They’ve had five years to get organized and yet they haven’t expanded their territory, nor made any considerable threat to our larger cargo ships.”

“But we haven’t caught them within that time either.”

“We haven’t been working on their case.”

She walked through the automatic door, shoulders back, head held high. He had to project the confidence she did not feel. It didn’t matter if she and Dirgo were the first two that arrived for the briefing. The room itself was circular, the holo in the middle surrounded by data desk that could easily connect to their pads or the holo projector. She picked a seat that would have her back facing the door. She didn’t want to have to see him walk in the room.

No.

Sas couldn’t see him walk into the room. She knew the moment she laid eyes on him again her world would come crashing down around her. Seeing him on the holonet was one thing. She could lie to herself. She could tell herself that it was a shadow holo, someone who looked like him, someone who even underwent a transformation to physically be him, anything other than the truth. But the moment she would see him walk in, she knew she would no longer be able to deny it.

Staring down at her data pad, Brisa hadn’t even noticed more officers had begun to file into the room. She shouldn’t have been surprised. The Admirals and Generals were strict enough, but this was Grand Admiral Abusivus, and everyone who had made it this far in Imperial intelligence knew the man had a very low tolerance for the ill prepared.

While Sas personally thought it was a bit ironic for him to gain such a reputation, she would never vocalize or question it. If she did, she would have to acknowledge the reality of who she was talking about. However, she knew she was going to have to face that reality much sooner than she would have liked.

Sas hadn’t noticed the quiet murmuring of the officer’s around her until they fell completely silent. The hairs on the back of her neck stood up, a wave of cold and deep aching washed over her, constricting her throat and threatening to suffocate her. She had exactly one second to decide how to react. Did she stand and turn around to face him at attention, like the rest of the officers? She could turn and stare, pretend to be curious and enthralled with the idea of working with such an individual, and pray she didn’t break her composure when she saw him. Or she could keep her back to him, keep her head down, pretend to be caught up in reading the report he sent out before he arrived. She ran the risk of standing out from the other officers, but at least she could brace herself, take a deep breath, and pretend to be unphased when she looked at him.

Truthfully, she knew it wouldn’t matter what she decided, she could feel his eyes already fixated on her the moment the door slid open and closed. Whether she wanted to draw attention or not, she had it, both his and the attention of the fourth of the room that followed his line of sight. It didn’t matter that she had snapped to her feet just as the person next to her did. She was late. She would wait for the firm tap of his boots to pass her before relaxing her stance. They both knew she was only attempting to look diligent, but Grand Admiral Abusivus knew her display wasn’t for him anyway. Her lungs burned as she held her breath waiting for him to pass.

He never did.

Instead his footsteps stopped a few feet short of her, not quite behind her, just enough that she would have to turn her body to see him.

She clenched her jaw.

Of course he would stop there behind her. He was going to make her turn around. And Sas would turn around, if she had any sense about keeping her cover. She braced herself, let out her breath slowly and ever so slightly her her body. He would already know what she was feeling, but that didn’t mean she needed to broadcast it to the other officers in the room.

“At least I know one of you took my message seriously,” that familiar Coruscanti accent cut through the silence.

Brisa hadn’t turned around yet, and now the whole commanding staff had its attention on her. She raised a brow at the Grand Admiral.

“I’m sure you’ll find all of your command staff take your messages seriously, Sir” she answered evenly as she turned to face him. She probably should have kept her mouth shut.

Some habits died harder than others it would seem.

If he took offense to her answer, his face didn’t show it. That might have been worse if Sas were being honest with herself. She still couldn’t make herself see him. She looked at him, as the situation demanded she look at him, but she didn’t see him. She might catch a glimpse of the amber in his face, but her attention was on the wall just past his head. She of course could make out the rack of ribbons on his chest, but she refused to really take in and process the man standing in front of her. At least not while he was right in front of her. Close enough that he could reach out and touch her if he chose to.

Though Sas could keep Brisa’s face calm and collected, it didn’t change that her heart pounded faster and faster as the silence stretched on.

“Perhaps if the rest of my staff is as proficient as you claim, these insurgents will be put down before the next lunar cycle,” Grand Admiral Abusivus replied.

Somehow that felt worse than a reprimand. Sas could handle a reprimand, but his words felt like a challenge. A reprimand would make the other officers avoid her, they could view her as impulsive, foolish and ill prepared. While Captain Brisa would likely bristle under the weight of such judgments, Sas could lean into it, no one would want to associate with her because of the reprimand. This was almost an invitation for investigation. He just issued a challenge to the others to determine if she was simply foolish in her outspokenness, or if she truly was confident in the abilities of the people in the room.

“Yes, Sir.” That was the only answer she could think to give. She didn’t dare to meet his gaze. He finally stepped away from her to walk around the edge of the room, making just about every officer he passed turn to face him. In another life, she might have made some kind of quip, or even complimented him, but the reality was that their exchange was hollow and devoid of the warmth they used to share.

As he stepped further away, his back toward her as he circled the room, Sas took the chance to finally study him. Calling the Grand Admiral colder than she first remembered was an understatement. She still felt that initial chill deep under her skin, as if he could somehow make even her burning nerve endings fizzle out. The way he carried himself was different though, still straight and proud, but perhaps it was the memory of his soft brown robes and warmth that used to linger in them that made his stark white uniform, sharp creases along his shoulders, that made him seem more distant than simply reserved.

The Grand Admiral had started speaking. Something about the nature of the insurgents' plot. The term pirates was evidently outdated now–or he couldn’t stand the thought of the one tracking him from across the room. One of his leather clad hands reached up to stroke his auburn beard, whatever idea he told them to consider had been lost on her. Too easily was her mind distracted by her memories of playing with the first few silver hairs that had slowly bled into his hair, assuring him that he wore them well. Her chest ached at the memory, but still she kept Brisa’s face neutral but attentive, even as the Grand Admiral made direct eye contact with her this time.

Brisa couldn’t look away. No matter how badly she wanted to, she couldn’t. It didn’t matter how deeply his amber eyes cut through her, how much it hurt to see those eyes in his face, Sas could not look away. She had done that to him. She abandoned him on Mustafar.

“Their most recent targets have been Imperial supply ships along the borders between the Mid Rim and Outer Rim, though they’re not attacking at jump points, instead they strike just before the ships leave the port,” Abusivus continued, and pulled her out of that spiral. “Similar reports of attacks have started coming from more Outer Rim sectors.” As he spoke the holo map lit up in the center of the room though no one was there to operate it. Sas resisted the urge to roll her eyes. His little trick to operate the map with the force might have impressed the others, but it was just another reminder that she could not fully trust her own mind while he was around.

She did her best to focus on the map, even though she had seen it hundreds of times. Sas told herself this meeting felt repetitive because this was the third time she’d heard a similar report. Once while she, Padmé, and Crix discussed a pirating strategy that could be done with minimal crew, and what regions would likely be the best to start in. Then of course she had to read the briefing The Grand Admiral sent them to see what the Empire knew about their movements, and of course now it was being spoon fed to her again.

A glint of light caught Sas’ eye as the Abusivus circled made his way along the side of the circle farthest from her. She was so lost in her memories that she missed the cane in his other hand. Her brows twitched together for a fraction of a second as she tried to figure out what he was leaning on as he walked. No, leaning was the wrong word. Though he moved the sleek black cane as if he needed it to walk, he stood too straight, too tall to actually be leaning on it. Her eyes drifted to his waist, expecting to see his lightsaber hanging off his belt, but even that was missing. Part of her wondered if it was stored in his cane. She pushed the thought away, finding the thought of him washed in the glowing red light of the new weapon was too much for her to think about. She looked back down to her data pad.

"These insurgents are far more organized than we've given them credit for in the past. That being said, there is also reason to believe that they have a contact within Imperial intelligence." Abusivus stopped behind a gray haired man Sas realized was Admiral Yularen. He looked at several officers in the room, but most noticeably avoided looking directly at Brisa. "You're duty is then, not to simply stop the insurgents, but to snuff out their contact. I trust you’ll utilize your resources to their full capacity and come to me when you find anything of interest."

Brisa looked down to make a note in her data pad, but truthfully she wasn’t sure how to feel about the comment. It didn’t matter if anyone else moved, at least she told herself that. Brisa could move to make notes, she had already shown herself to be a little odd. She knew the Empire was looking for her. That was a given. From the time she had enlisted she knew the Empire wasn’t just looking for spies, the Empire was specifically looking for Sas Vom. She was supposed to die in the temple. She would have died on Utapau had she gone. However, hearing the encouragement to hunt her down coming from him, cut deeper than she would have thought possible. Some invisible band snaked its way around her chest, squeezing the air from her lungs, even as she forced herself to stand up straight again.

Heart pounding in her ears, Sas hadn’t heard the word that they were dismissed, that they had all received their specific assignments through their data pads. This was too much for her. She thought she could continue the mission when it got to this point, but this was too much. She turned to pick up her data pad, and had to steady herself with her other hand as the room spun out from under her feet. Brisa needed to escape to her office, shut down and push past anyone who would try to talk to her. She needed to get home, message Padmé, escape tonight.

“Captain Brisa,” His voice cut through her as Sas tried to turn to leave.

It took everything in power to keep her accent, keep Brisa’s face in place as a flurry of thoughts and feelings clouded her vision. “Yes, Sir-”

“Captain, I had expected you to wait. I imagine you have questions about your assignment.”

Brisa’s composure slipped to genuine distress for the briefest moment as she checked her data pad. At the top was a notification of her assignment details. The subject line was clear: Personnel Director for Grand Admiral Abusivus.

Sas breathed in sharply as he slowly reached for her arm at her side, gently taking her elbow, and sliding his hand down until her hand was in his. His breath ghosted across her skin, sending a shiver right through her core, followed by the familiar brush of his beard and the warmth of his lips. It should be easy for Captain Brisa to let it go, to remain aloof and unfeeling. Under normal circumstances she would be. A few had tried to get under her skin, but she kept them at bay. Sas shouldn’t have looked down. When she did, she met the amber eyes of the fallen Jedi, the man she used to love. The man she still loved.

He stared right through her. To some it could have been an intimidation tactic, a scheme to see how well his new Captain would work under pressure or perhaps to make sure she would not buckle under flattery. Had the gesture been done to any other woman other than herself, Sas might have believed that was all it was. He wasn’t beyond using some dramatics to figure people out before the fall, she hated to admit she was glad to see at least that hadn’t changed. His gaze and his lips lingered for two heart beats too long. The message was loud and clear.

Found you.

#star wars fanfiction #Obi-Wan fanfic #sith obi wan #Sith obi-wan fanfic #sith au #obi-wan x oc #Sas Vom #Padme survives au #Seriously kinda want to make this a series but we'll see #obi-wan fanfic #star wars #my writing #sith!obi wan #Sith!Obi-WanWeek2023

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agirlunderarock · 2 years ago

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NGL

I'm very proud of that line

"Even suns burn out eventually, Sas. I don't want that for you."

I'm just- oof it says a lot about what Obi-Wan is feeling for Sas and just how he views her. He spends the whole first part of the fic talking about the warmth she radiates in the force and that he just loves being in her presence

I am unwell in the best of ways

#my writing #Obi-Wan x oc #sas vom #my oc

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agirlunderarock · 3 years ago

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Broken Things ~Obi-Wan drabble

A/N: So if you kept up with me last month there was a whole week I was on top of Febuwhump prompts and that quickly fell apart. I did have plenty planned out, just couldn't keep up. That being said when Entertainment weekly released the pictures from the Obi-Wan series I had some new motivation to write and finish Day 19's prompt Delirium. This is from my OC, Sas, PoV because if I have to directly write what he's going through its going to destroy my mental health right now. Also, Obi-Wan is really unreliable as a narrator because he's so critical of himself. This PoV lets me just present him as someone who loves him (or the audience) sees him. Maybe one day I'll rewrite this from his PoV. Also I'm making this take place a few months after Revenge of the Sith because I refuse to believe he lived in a cave for ten years. That physically hurts me and I can't process that.

Summary: The first few months after the fall of the Republic are hard on everyone. Its especially hard on Obi-Wan, and anyone who loves him

Pairings: Obi-WanX Sas (OC)

Warnings:None, I mean is two people trying to survive in the desert at one of the lowest points of their lives.

Read on AO3

As someone who grew up and lived in the wastelands of Zolan, Sas thought she would have been adjusted, or at least able to adjust, to the twin suns beating down on her back as she trudged over sand with a large pack of supplies over her shoulder. She had done it plenty of times on Zolan when she and her sister had run out of fuel, and the oxygen had even been lower there than it was on Tatooine, but she was still drenched in sweat and breathing heavily as the sand threatened to seep through her head scarf. The Clone Wars had clearly taken a toll on the shapeshifter and the jedi she followed into the desert.

She blamed the three years of bouncing back and forth between smoggy Coruscant and fluorescent lights of the battle ships for making her skin extra sensitive to the extreme heat on the desert planet. Still she had hoped that after weeks, maybe a month or two, (it was so easy to lose count) that they had been on world, she would have acclimated to the weather and environment. That it would have gotten easier. Of course the pain she felt when she shifted only grew each time she did it to go into town alone, something Obi-Wan protested greatly. Sas thought it was safer for him that way. No one was looking for her after all. She was pronounced dead in the temple; the Empire knew Obi-Wan was alive. However, she couldn’t deny having Obi-Wan at her side made the long journey shorter, and kept her from looking over her shoulder so much. They would both be lying if either said they didn’t fear for each other during the time they spent apart. The long days did little to dull their memories of that day.

Time didn’t make things easier.

Especially not for Obi-Wan.

As Sas picked her way through the rocky outcroppings as steadily bigger and bigger the closer she came to their current hiding place, she wondered what kind of scene she would be coming home to. She didn’t have to think too long about it, she was more concerned about where she would find Obi-Wan. She didn’t go out often alone, but there were times he tried to meditate on his own and would walk in the canyon on his own. When she would go looking for him, she might find him overlooking the dunes as he meditates on a rather precarious ledge, other times he might be nestled among the boulders a light breeze having dropped sand in his hair, most of the time she would find him sitting at the base of heir dwelling watching the horizon, watching for Luke.

Sas was always sure to check his usual places for meditation before going home. She didn’t like the panic that flooded her so easily when she found herself alone there. So long as she knew where he was, she told herself things would be okay. Still, she couldn’t help the knots that formed in her stomach as she checked each of his usual spots. By the time she reached the cave entrance they had been living in for the majority of their time, Sas felt her stomach churn violently and she leaned against the rock while she waited for the nausea to pass. She took a deep breath, and slowly let it out as she pulled down her shawl. I was too hot and she needed air. Another deep breath and she closed her eyes and tried to keep herself from getting sick. She was so close, she could feel the cool air of the cave beckoning her in. One last deep breath and she walked into the cave, using the walls as support. She moved slowly, as she let her eyes adjust to the dim light of the cave. She had made the mistake of moving too quickly before and was awarded with a dizzy spell that knocked her to the ground. That wasn’t something she wanted to repeat while carrying their food supplies for the next few weeks.

The deeper she moved into the cave, the dimmer the light grew, and the cooler the air became. She almost didn’t mind it. She might have even considered the cave beautiful at one point, with the cracks and holes in the rock walls letting just enough sunlight through to illuminate the cavern without a fire. When she took her time to admire it, Sas could easily imagine a time when Tatooine was covered in water. Though the outside of the cave had been colored red by the sands in the desert, the inside kept its soft gray blue shale and seemed to almost melt away as one grew closer to the exit. She could make it the perfect safe house if she wanted to. In her mind she already had everything arranged and ready.

But this wasn’t Sas’ life on Zolan. She couldn’t just steal the supplies she needed. It would draw too much attention. She couldn’t see the beauty of the cavern she had been calling home.

The only thing she could focus on was the man she loved sitting at the edge of their sleeping mat and staring into oblivion.

She continued walking into what she mentally referred to as their living space and set down her pack. The supplies could wait. Though she had walked through Obi-Wan’s line of sight, he didn't react to any of the motion. His clear blue eyes were light-years away fixated on some unseen horror. Clearly he just returned from looking over Luke's family. He had tried to meditate again from what she could tell. She could see his boots near the foot of their mat, and his poncho was crumpled in his lap and tangled with their blankets.

This wasn't the first time she had come home to him in such a state.

Sas slowly approached him and knelt down in front of him. In another life she would have made some kind of teasing comment about being stunned by her beauty. Those days had long since passed. His mind wasn't with her. She could guess that he was back in any number of the horrific battles they had fought. She herself still had nightmares about Geonosis. A more accurate guess would be that Obi-Wan was seeing the Jedi temple again. For all she knew he was walking through his destroyed home and the destruction of his people. She really didn’t have to guess, however, from the distressed crease in his brow and distant heartbreak in his eyes, Sas knew he was back on Mustafar.

Though Sas had been with him when he confronted Anakin, her only priority had been getting Padmé back on her ship. She couldn’t imagine what Obi-Wan had to do, and she never asked him to say what he had to do. She never wanted to ask him to relive that moment. Yet, as she looked into his face now, she knew he was back on the volcano planet.

“Obi-Wan,” she called softly.

He made no indication that he heard her. He stared off toward the mouth of the cave, his mind locked in a far away battle.

“Obi-Wan, darling,” Sas repeated. “Whatever you’re seeing-Wherever you are…Its not real…” Even as she said the words Sas realized what she was saying was wrong. It did happen. The massacre at the temple happened. Obi-Wan had to fight Anakin. All of it happened. All of it was real. “We can’t change what happened…We have to live with that and what we have now…” She looked into his face and felt something twist painfully in her chest and slowly cupped his cheek. “I’m so sorry... Please come back to me…”

Obi-Wan jolted under her touch, and Sas pulled her hand away briefly. “It's me, it's only me,” she repeated in the same soft tone. She watched his startled gaze take in the cave and their surroundings before settling back on her and holding her gaze. She laid her hand along his jaw, and messy beard as she brushed her thumb over his cheek. She did her best to offer him a smile, but like the one he tried to give her as he leaned into her touch, it didn’t reach her eyes. He was trying to be happy to see her, but instead she only saw the slightest hint of relief in shoulders. It wasn’t so much that Obi-Wan wasn’t happy to see her, but he was only relieved to see her still alive.

“I’m sorry,” Obi-Wan answered, one hand moving to rest on top of hers on his cheek and the other moving down her arm, as if to assure himself that she was really there. That she wasn’t another hallucination.

“You have nothing to apologize for, Obi-Wan.” It felt like they had been saying that a lot lately. Whether it was apologizing for worrying the other, or just for what had happened to them in general, the words felt like a reflex only second to breathing. “Why don’t you lay down with me for a while, try to get some rest.”

Obi-Wan turned his face against her palm and gently kissed it. Sas wasn’t sure if that was him saying yes or no to her suggestion. She knew he rarely slept anymore. Most of the time he was assaulted with vivid nightmares as he relived that day. Sas always asked if he wanted to talk about it. He never did. She never pushed him.

She slowly moved her other hand to the side of his face and touched her forehead to his own. She felt his other hand move to cover her other hand. They stayed that way for a moment, before she took his hand and placed it over her heart. “Just focus on my breathing,” she said softly, taking slow deep breaths. She hoped that he could calm himself this way, that he could ground himself in their current reality. He used to do this for her in the middle of the war, while they were meditating together and though it always helped her, she wasn’t sure if anything she did actually helped him. “You don’t have to tell me, if you don’t want to right now. I just want you to know…that you don’t have to do this alone. You don’t have to carry this alone.”

Even when she pulled her head back and met his wary blue eyes, Sas felt he really didn’t see her. He could only think of the life he pulled her into. She sat up a little more and pressed a light kiss to the worry lines etched between his brows. He let out another breath, and she hoped that above all she could help him relax if only for a moment. “Thank you, Sas” Obi-Wan said softly, but lowered their hands into his lap. He looked away from her. It didn’t matter if she said it wasn’t his fault. He was always going to carry it with him.

“You don’t have to thank me, but you’re welcome, Pretty Boy,” she said, squeezing his hands. Usually the nickname would draw a small smile from him. It was a small reminder of their less than friendly beginnings. Though Obi-Wan was barely hanging on, his hair already longer and beard growing unruly; as broken as he was, Sas still loved him and thought he was beautiful. She had never known someone who could love as much as he did. “You’ve done enough, you can rest now.”

This time Obi-Wan gave a more definitive nod this time and still held her hands as she moved around him to kneel on their sleeping mat. Obi-Wan released her hands and waited a moment for her to get as comfortable as she could before laying down next to her. She watched as he settled down on his back looking up at the rock above them, undoubtedly waiting to be plagued by more nightmares.

Before she could say anything or offer him anything he shifted to his side, and she opened her arms to hold him close. She shifted a little higher up on her pillow so that he could put his ear against her chest as he clung to her. She tried not to let her own tears swell in her eyes, as she thought she felt him silently shed a few as they fell onto her chest. He had endured so much during the war to try to take care of those he loved, it was her turn to be strong for him. Sas moved one hand to cradle his head and rub her fingers against his head. “I love you,” she told him.

“I love you too.”

Sas pressed her lips to his head, not knowing if anything she did helped him. Some days she wondered if she was making things more difficult for him to process. She couldn’t help but wonder what would have happened if she let him leave alone. She didn’t like to dwell on those thoughts. She made her choice to stay by his side, and despite everything she was glad she did. She didn’t like the thought of him dealing with this alone. She wouldn’t give up on him, just the same way she knew he wouldn’t have given up on her, or the way still hasn’t given up on Anakin.

A/N: Thanks again for reading! Feedback is always appreciated

#star wars #star wars fanfic #Obi-Wan series #Obi-Wan series fanfic #Obi-Wan fanfic #Obi-Wan Kenobi #obi-wan x oc #Sas Vom #Star wars oc #Look writing this from Obi-Wan's pov would hurt me too much #Can I do it? Yes but not right now #Maybe another time I'll write it from his POV #febuwhump 2022

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agirlunderarock · 2 years ago

Text

It takes some Getting used to

This is yet another fic based on art by @journen because her art is amazing and if you don't follow her go follow her right now. But anyway, she HURT ME AGAIN WITH THIS and naturally that meant I had to write a fic to go with it. I think I deviated a little from her original idea she had in mind, but like we don't get a visual for what happened after that fight with Darth Maul and I was watching the Obi-Wan series while writing this and so this is kinda the result of all of that. I sorta wanted this to be a precursor to hint at how Obi-Wan deals with this sort of confusion and grief that leads to what we see in series. Also I wanted an excuse to write a little bit of Ventress for the first time. That being said I'd also like to thank Juneee and @itsonlymyecho for reading it before and helping with some things I wasn't sure about 🥺 But anyways, hope you enjoy!

Summary: After facing Darth Maul for the first time in over ten years, Obi-Wan finds that he isn't willing to open up easily about the past, no matter how clear his pain is to those who care about him

Pairings: Obi-WanXOC - some good hurt comfort

Warnings: Some references to alcohol, Obi-Wan blames himself for Maul's rampage, some angst- I guess this counts as a whump fic

Read on AO3

Obi-Wan had witnessed many things over the course of the war, certainly more than he thought he would in a single lifetime. Naturally, he had grown up hearing stories from other jedi of their experiences, many of them seeming larger than life at the time, but given his current experiences, they all seemed rather mundane. Of course that was probably the wrong word, but how many mission briefings started off with holo messages from sith assassins one presumed they had killed nearly twelve years earlier. Then again that sort of thing isn’t exactly taught in padawan history lessons if it did happen.

“Kenobi wake up!”

The jedi startled awake at the woman’s irritated hiss. He had woke up to Ventress slapping him twice now within at least one rotation. He hoped that wasn’t something he'd have to get used to. He took a deep breath and sat up more in his seat, only to be met with the Jedi temple growing larger in the main viewport. He didn’t remember falling asleep. The last thing he was conscious of was he and Ventress circling back to get her ship, stopping for fuel- His brain started pounding on the inside of his skull as he mentally retraced his steps.

“Didn’t take you to be a drinker Kenobi,” Ventress started. “Or at least I thought you would have been able to hold it better.”

Or maybe it was just the start of a hangover. Not that he had all that much- just a bottle. Then again it might have been stronger than he anticipated. It was meant to take his mind off the bruises forming all over his body, but that pain only seemed to have settled more deeply in his heavy limbs as he shifted again in his seat. He didn’t have to look at the assassin turned bounty hunter to know she was watching him. Whether it was out of concern or thinking about just throwing him out of her ship he tried not to think about it. Somehow the option where he fell to his demise was easier to process than the thought she might actually be concerned about him.

“No, no, not the main hanger,” Obi-Wan objected as she brought the ship around through the busy Coruscant traffic toward the bustling temple below. His stomach lurched as she abruptly changed direction. At least he had slept through most of her traffic dodging until this point.

“Afraid of being seen with me, Kenobi?” Ventress taunted.

“Well I’d prefer my rescuer not be spotted and chased down for former war crimes.” Though he was confident that wouldn’t happen. The reality was Obi-Wan didn’t want to be seen at all. “Drop me off near the lower levels, theres an entrance there. I trust you’ll not share that with anyone.”

Again Ventress seemed to see right through him. He didn’t like it. He wasn’t sure if it was just her own connection to the force that made it seem that way, or if it was because he was more accustomed to her trying to kill him that had him still on edge. He knew she saved his life, but that didn’t exactly make them friends now, right?

That was too much for the pounding in his head to think about. Instead he gave her directions to the lower landing. It was rarely used, and out of the way of the busier passages in the Temple. It was only ever really mentioned in discussions for emergency procedures, and still those discussions were few and far between despite the war. Thankfully, the landing fed right into the halls just under the living quarters for the majority of the jedi. It wouldn’t take him long to get to his own chambers once he was inside.

“I suppose this is it then,” Obi-Wan said, attempting to mask the pain that shot through his back when he tried to stand up. “No need to land.”

"Is that what you tell your little green girlfriend too? I don't imagine she takes kindly to that."

Now he knew she was trying to get some kind of reaction from him. Ventress and Sas had crossed paths several times, none of those times overlapped with the time he had been in a relationship with the shapeshifter. Of course he knew that Sas and Cody often appeared with him on holo broadcast from the front very often, he would need to be more mindful of how they conducted themselves. Regardless of why Ventress was prying, Obi-Wan did little to acknowledge the comment.

"Thank you, Ventress," he said once he pushed himself to his feet. He took a moment to steady himself on the back of the chair he was in. He looked back at Ventress trying to see if she had jostled the controls of her ship. She didn’t. He told himself he would be fine. He just needed to sleep off the drink, and hope that would drain the ache in his limbs. The tightness in his chest and difficulty breathing would sort itself out. He would be fine.

“Obi-Wan,” Ventress called once he had limped most of the way down the ramp. To his surprise she stood half way in her ship, as if she were going to follow him down the ramp. Obi-Wan couldn’t help but wonder if she meant to walk him inside. “You might want to get something for that black eye. I’d hate to see that face plastered all over the holonet.” Her usual teasing tone didn't match the worry lines creasing her forehead.

Obi-Wan just gave a small wave in answer before finishing his trek down the ramp and to the door. He didn’t look back to see if Ventress was watching him. He could feel her gaze on his back until he disappeared into the temple. Despite being out of her sight, he still felt unsettled. He could only hope that showing her the mostly forgotten entrance to the temple wouldn’t come back to haunt him later.

He took a deep breath to steady himself. He was home. That was what mattered. He just needed to sleep off the hangover and then he could give his report to the council. He slowly released the breath and forced himself to look up and down the empty corridor. He was completely alone, and he was home. He was home. He was home and yet, the long expanse of hallway seemed to stretch onward unnaturally. In the shadow of the pillars he could see the smokey hollow doorwars that lined the streets of the village, the patterns on the carpet twisted into the forms of slain innocent, the people who didn’t know why they were being attacked. He looked up expecting to see the smoke filled skies sinking low over the ruined village, but all he found were the dim lights spaced evenly along the ceiling, leading the way toward more lively areas of the temple. He knew he was home but he had to be sure. His chest still ached like it was difficult to breathe. He was almost to his chambers. He could rest then.

He took as deep a breath as he could manage to steady his nerves, and let the hall stop spinning between his home and the village before heading slowly down the hall to his room. He just needed a few moments alone to figure out his thoughts. The weight settling on his shoulders was only the exhaustion from the last few hours, nothing more.

Obi-Wan pushed himself step by step down the corridor, ignoring the double takes and staring once he got to more populated halls. It was fine. He told himself it was just like he returned from any other mission. Besides it wasn’t like it was the first time a sith had roughed him up, he and everyone at the temple should be used to it by now. Then again, an appearance like this usually meant he was accompanied by Cody and Sas looking just as roughed up, as they watched, or usually helped, the rest of their men unload the battleship. Lucky for him there still weren’t that many jedi roaming the halls to his room, and inquisitive younglings were housed on the other side of the temple. It was just Obi-Wan, and the steady pounding of his heart in his ears drowning out the sound of his footsteps as he finally came to his door.

“Nah, thats a little too greasy. Last time we ate there, I thought I was going to turn inside out.”

Obi-Wan paused just outside his door, listening to the familiar woman’s voice from inside.

“That was one time, Sas,” Cody’s voice replied. “Every other time before that it was fine.”

“I’ve only been there once! I think you had my sister with you and the boys those other times.”

“I would have remembered if it was Crix. She never would have thrown her fries at me-”

“Maybe if you would have asked-”

“I did-”

“After you stuck your fingers in my fries! My point is, you don’t know my sister like I do. Ask Balls and Enabler- do you not see their holos? The three of them are mess when they get together-”

“I blame you for that-”

“Me?!”

Obi-Wan stayed listening for a moment, the smallest hint of a smile coming to him as he could almost imagine the scene taking place in his room. Sas was either sprawled out on his bed or on the floor, several data pads in front of her, only the one with a list of delivery restaurants on and in her emerald colored hands. Cody was likely sitting at his desk, his work stacked in neat piles to give the appearance of organization. Truthfully there was no order to his madness and instead of looking up other places to eat, the commander was probably trying to read over Sas’ shoulder. Obi-Wan was very familiar with that scene, and despite the way his stomach churned, he was eager to see them both. He pressed his head to the door frame and closed his eyes for a second. More weight seemed to settle on his shoulders and chest, and his limbs felt heavier by the second. He took a deep breath, and stood up to walk into his room.

The door slid open, and he nearly collided with Sas as she was about to walk out the door. Obi-Wan watched as her expression went from surprised to horrified to concerned as her brows settled low over her brown eyes. A quick glance to Cody and he saw the same worry etched onto his face that he had seen too many times already today. Nothing was wrong. This was nothing out of the ordinary. He was fine.

“I heard we were getting take out? Personally, I think that Twi’lek place a few blocks down has the best,” Obi-Wan said, as he propped his elbow up against the side of the door frame and offered them both a tired smile. Neither Sas nor Cody seemed amused by his greeting. “I’ll take your stunned silence to mean that you missed me?” he said just as the ground shifted violently under all of them.

The next thing Obi-Wan knew, he was face down in the dirt, coughing as the dust infiltrated his lungs. His head burned, and his side exploded with pain as he was kicked into the ground again.He needed to fight back. He owed the people of the village He was trapped in the Raydonia, perhaps he never left. He couldn’t fight back against the hands that reached out for him. He blinked and it was the large green Zabrak dragging him through the dirt and carnage lining the streets of the village, the next second it was Sas grabbing him under his armpits.

“Cody, help me get him to the bed-”

“Right- let me get his arm over here-”

“Where’d he drop his lightsaber-?”

A flash of red blazed across Obi-Wan’s vision. Whether from the Zabrak attacking him, or from the lightsaber his opponent held, he didn’t know. He was being dragged back to their ship. His vision came and went as he caught brief flashes of the dark smoke plumes and the high ceilings of his chambers. His body felt much too heavy. Surely whatever had happened with Ventress, and seeing Sas and Cody was some kind of dream. He could still hear the hum of the blazing lightsaber held to his face, the hiss of his beard burning against the blade. He was too weak to fight back.

“It rolled under the desk-”

“Got it. I’m gonna get something to wipe away the blood.”

Obi-Wan blinked a few times, trying to get his bearings.He didn’t remember walking in with his lightsaber in his hand. He must have been holding it though. His right hand felt tense, and his fingers stiff. All he did was blink and suddenly Cody was practically carrying him to bed. “What happened?” he asked.

“I think we should be asking you that, sir,” Cody answered, steadying the jedi in a sitting position. “Sas and I were told you were sent on a mission but-”

“But we were expecting you to come back in one piece,” Sas’ finished as she came from another part of the room and pressed a cool damp cloth to Obi-Wan’s forehead. He hadn’t even noticed her leave.

“I still am in one piece,” Obi-Wan insisted, watching as the woman he loved clenched her jaw as she continued to dab the cloth along his forehead.

“Thats still up for debate, Pretty Boy,” Sas answered. “Why didn’t you go to the med bay?” She pulled the cloth away and pulled up a chair to sit in front of him, while Cody kept him up right.

Silence passed between the trio as Sas and Cody waited for the jedi to answer. Obi-Wan avoided eye contact with the both of them. It wasn’t as bad as they seemed to think. He definitely had worse injuries after Umbara. Sure his head was pounding and the room was spinning, and if he thought for too long, it was a little difficult to find the words he really wanted to say, but that was only because whatever drink Ventress had given him was too strong. Now he knew better.

“Obi-Wan,” Cody’s voice broke through the fog. “What happened?”

“The council sent me on a brief mission, nothing unusual.”

He didn’t miss the silent exchange between Cody and Sas. She sat on the edge of the chair now, her knees bumping lightly against Obi-Wan’s as she took his hands in her own. He watched as she dabbed the cloth over his bruised knuckles and cut up hands, the dried blood gradually fading away with each pass.

“Let me rephrase that,” Cody tried again, “What was the mission they gave you? We were told to gather a task force and be on stand-by the moment you left. It was only a few hours ago that they said we could stand down, but it looks like you could have used the back up.”

Obi-Wan still didn’t meet Sas or Cody’s gaze, despite being able to feel their eyes searching his face. He didn’t have to use the force to know what they were feeling, the concern and worry was almost overwhelming, even if they were trying to keep themselves composed. Instead of that however, Obi-Wan did his best to focus on another feeling under all that tension, a warmth he often found himself seeking more and more. He focused his attention on the gentle touch of Sas’ hands cleaning his wounds, Cody’s hand on his shoulder. Small things to keep him grounded in the current moment. He didn’t want to worry them. What happened, happened, and there was nothing he could do about it in that moment.

Sas was the one to break the silence this time. “Was it another mission to Mandalore?” she asked. Obi-Wan finally looked up at her and this time she couldn’t meet his gaze. “We were told to be on standby, Mace wanted us to be prepared just in case…The only thing Cody and I could think of was that Death Watch had made a move against Mandalore, and because of their neutrality, we can’t exactly just launch the fleet to evacuate the Duchess.”

Obi-Wan shook his head, suddenly finding his neck muscles feeling incredibly sore.

“We were only told to stand down a few hours ago…because of a holo Mace got from your com line.” Sas paused again, waiting to see if the jedi would elaborate on what was said. He didn’t. Cody and Sas exchanged another look. Obi-Wan wondered when they had gotten so good at reading one another.

“The holo came from Ventress of all people,” Cody prompted, but still Obi-Wan stayed quiet. The truth was, at least about the holo, Obi-Wan didn’t know what she had said or told Mace. He never knew she sent the transmission in the first place.

“I just need to get some rest,” Obi-Wan said at last.

“Not before getting checked out at least by Chip,” Sas pressed. “You’re practically slurring your speech-”

“Its just the drink Ventress gave me. I just need to sleep it off.” This time Obi-Wan did miss the look Cody gave Sas.

“Why were you getting drinks with the Witch?” Cody pressed.

Obi-Wan realized he had let something slip. He shouldn’t have mentioned that. “Was it wrong for me to have a drink? Don’t you and the others go out for drinks after a long battle?” He looked up when Sas gave his hands a gentle but firm squeeze. Her brows furrowed low over her brown eyes, there was a determination in her look, something he usually loved, but currently had him feeling more anxious.

Cody didn’t miss it either and seemed to say exactly what she had been thinking. “Usually its with the other commanders or just you and Sas- not an enemy who’s tried to kill all of us on multiple occasions, sir.”

Obi-Wan could tell he upset Cody. There was a certain change in his tone that really only happened when he was frustrated. He might not always be able to see his face under the helmet, but Cody's voice tended to give him away. He didn’t mean to upset Cody. He looked away from the clone commander unable to think of an answer that truly justified any of it outside the truth. He couldn’t talk about it, yet.

“I’m going to go get Chip,” Cody started, and stood up. “See if he’ll make a house call this time.”

The jedi didn’t look up, and flinched when Cody accidentally put his hand on a bruise on his shoulder. The commander gave a quick apology, then clasped Sas on the shoulder before he left. Obi-Wan sat in silence with Sas for a moment, her hands still holding his as she gently brushed her thumbs over his bruised knuckles.

“You know, he’s just worried, right? We both are,” Sas said, though she wasn’t meeting his eyes. “We just weren’t sure what to think. You left so abruptly, not even Anakin knew until Mace told us to be ready to deploy.”

“I don’t mean to worry you so much,” Obi-Wan said quietly. He turned his hands so that he was holding onto her fingers and brushed his thumb over the back of her hands. “You don’t need to worry about me. Neither of you do. This is just part of my life”

The little hum Sas gave in answer told Obi-Wan she wasn’t going to accept that as an explanation. When they finally met each other’s gaze, he was surprised to see that even with the worry creases between her brows, she almost seemed amused. He had seen that small smile before, usually when Pyres Squad was trying to cover up the results of their latest mischief. “You know, even when we first met and you told me that, I didn't believe you. That I really didn’t need to worry about you-”

Obi-Wan narrowed his good eye at her, unintentionally prompting her to put the cool cloth over his swollen one.

“Getting tossed around and getting a few scrapes and bruises was a pretty normal day for both of us, I guess it still is but instead of a once in a while kinda thing, its every other day now…” Obi-Wan realized Sas lost what she was wanting to say. He didn’t mind though, he’d be patient like always. “You’d think we’d be used to that by now, but it doesn’t get easier. It doesn’t get easier knowing that we’re fighting a full out war, even though we’ve been in the thick of it for the last two almost three years. So, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that you still aren’t used to people outside the Jedi Order worrying about you.”

“Sas-” he started unsure of how to answer that. He had mostly let her rambling lull him into a relaxed state but her final comment had him at a loss. He couldn’t tell if it was the splitting pain in his head or the small ache in his chest that was making it difficult for him to answer. He could feel that same pang twisting off of her as she seemed to think about what to say next.

“If Anakin is a Master of crash landings, you, Love, are the Master of damage control. You go to great lengths to remain positive and keep others calm, and that isn’t always a bad thing, but it can get a little annoying for those of us who love you and know you’re not doing well.”

Obi-Wan had just leaned more into her touch as she held the cloth to his eye, before turning his head to kiss the inside of her wrist. He knew exactly what she was talking about. He was supposed to be looking out for her though. He was the one with the lightsaber, he was the jedi master. Sas, Cody and Anakin were his responsibility. He loved them too much to drag them into Maul’s crosshairs. “My dear… I don’t know what I can say that can make you see that this mission was nothing for you to worry about.” He blinked, feeling her hand pull away from his face.

“I think you might have hit your head harder than we thought-” Sas said with a tired, heavy sigh. “Obi-Wan, whether or not you believe that Anakin, Cody and I shouldn’t worry about you, we’re going to. You’re their friend. You have my heart in every way-” She paused, “We all love you, so we’re not just going to sit back while you're in pain, when you wouldn’t let us do the same.” She took a deep breath and slowly let it out before continuing. “Our feelings aside, if this mission was big enough that Mace thought to send a task force after you, I would like to know what to prepare for, what to prepare the others for, should something like this happen again."

Obi-Wan turned his head away, and did his best to focus on the stack of books on his desk and the data pad hanging just over the edge. He knew she was right. That even if the mission had been a personal matter, the people that were unfortunately being drawn in deserved to know why. “I don’t want anyone else to be dragged into this…”

“You don't have to shoulder this on your own. You're not dragging anyone into anything…orders or not, Cody, and I will be right there with you. But you have to let us."

He took a deep breath letting her words sink into his hazy mind. Obi-Wan knew she was right. For as patient as she was being with him at the moment, he also knew she was incredibly stubborn and would be at his side in just about any situation without him asking. He was reminded of this as he started slouching forward, as the room seemed to shift around them once again. Without another word, Sas was sitting at his side, one arm on his back keeping him steady, and the other still holding one of his hands.

“Lean on me if you need to. Its okay,” she said softly. “After Chip gives the all clear, then you can rest.”

Obi-Wan gave a nod, but didn’t lean into her. He couldn’t not yet. She was right. People were already getting hurt because of him. He needed to prepare her and the others. He took another deep breath, a sharp pain in his chest made him let it out sooner than he had anticipated. “I was supposed to capture a sith lord,” he said at last. He kept his eyes trained on Sas’ fingers interlocking with his. He took another deep breath.He waited for her to say something, but she waited patiently for him to continue. “Yesterday, afternoon the council received a transmission from Raydonia….Darth Maul was terrorizing a villiage of refugees there. The villagers were waiting for the supply ship he stole, and had no way to prepare- His only demands were that I go to the planet and challenge him. By the time I had arrived he and the monster Savage Opress, had wiped out the village.”

It wasn’t until he felt Sas’ fingers move through his hair, rubbing the back of his head that he realized he had slumped against her after all. Again he waited for her to say something. He was too tired to pick his head up to see her face,even if he wanted to see what she was thinking. After a few more seconds he felt her breath ruffle the ends of his hair. “So, Dooku tried to take on another assassin,” she said at last. He supposed that was the easiest part to process, even if it was incorrect. “That would at least explain Ventress stepping in- she wants her place back…But why you, of all the jedi generals? Why go to those lengths?”

Though her voice was even, maybe even too casual to someone who didn’t know her, Obi-Wan could feel the small trembles running through her. Whether in anger or fear he couldn’t say. He did not want to say more. It would be easy to just ignore those last questions she asked, to say he didn’t know. But he did know. Obi-Wan would only put her in more danger if he didn’t tell her everything. “Darth Maul, isn’t Dooku’s new apprentice,” he started slowly. One thing at a time. “He was attempting to take revenge against me. We’ve fought before, about ten years ago actually. I thought I killed him on Naboo, clearly cutting him in half and falling down a garbage shoot wasn’t enough.”

“You just know how to make the most interesting friends don’t you?” Sas said quietly against his head. Any other time, he might have made a joke about their own first meeting and all the trouble she caused him. Right now though, he didn’t feel like lumping her in with Maul and Savage. “It must have been hard for you to see that holo message though. Mace didn’t show us the holo, at least not me or Cody. He might have shown Anakin. But if it was enough for Mace to want to send a task force with you to Raydonia, then I can only imagine what must have been going through your head.”

He closed his eyes for a brief moment when he felt her lips on top of his head and squeezed his hand. Several things came to him at that moment, including the words I love you. He couldn’t say that yet. She wouldn’t realize how much he meant it; she would only think that he was trying to redirect the conversation. He had to be honest with her. If not for just themselves but for people he failed in the village. “I thought I had put an end to it then- I-” He paused for a moment feeling nauseated. “Those villagers died because of me,” he said. “I never thought that anyone else would-”

“Hey, hold on- You’re not seriously blaming yourself for what happened are you?” The tone of Sas’ voice surprised him. Not that he was surprised to hear her concern, but almost an accusation, as if it wasn’t his fault.

“I didn’t- Stop them.”

“You didn’t know he was even alive. How were you supposed to know that cutting him in half didn’t work? Were you supposed to jump down the shoot to double check?”

Obi-Wan stayed quiet still processing that. Again, he knew she was right but there had to be something else he could have done. There could have been something in the force, some kind of vision or something he had missed. Some kind of sign. He supposed his sign was when Dooku brought in Savage. He should have been more alert. He felt his throat close up and ached as he tried to find the words to explain. He should have done better.

“You’re just one man, Obi-Wan. Sure you can move things with your hand, and force gives you all sorts of abilities- but you’re just one man.”

“I have one obligation, Sas, to protect life, to protect those villagers. They didn’t even know why they were being attacked.”

“Do you think that would have helped?”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you think it would have made the last moments of their lives easier, if they knew their world was falling apart because of a one sided grudge match?”

Obi-Wan paused for a moment. Maybe it wasn’t so one sided. “It wasn’t just the villagers I failed. He killed my Master on Naboo. I couldn’t get to them in time. It was my fault he died. Maul said that I should go alone, and he would spare the village. He had already destroyed them when I arrived. I was too late.”

For a moment there was nothing but the sound of their breathing. Obi-Wan hoped that would be the end of it for the moment. His head felt like it was ready to split open, and he couldn’t tell if it was because of how many times he hit it in the fight, or if he was just tired. “You weren’t too late to save Padmé, or to keep Maul from tearing through another village,” she said at last. Though she spoke softly, he could hear the determination in her voice, in the way she started trembling again. “You said it yourself, Maul gave you an ultimatum to meet him alone, and he had no intention of being held to it.”

“Sas- I brought that on them-”

“Did you?” She wasn’t convinced. He felt her bump her forehead against the side of his. “I know you feel guilty. You wouldn’t be trying to convince me you were guilty if you didn’t feel horrible. But its like you’ve told me before, you can’t control everything. You’re one person, and you can’t control what an old enemy does. How could you have even known? You, and everyone else thought he was dead for the last ten years. Placing the blame for his actions on yourself doesn’t bring back those people and it doesn’t give them peace.”

For a moment, Obi-Wan recalled having a similar conversation with Sas a few months ago. That she could appear as an infinite number of faces, but it didn’t change that she was still one woman. “So you have been listening to me these past few months,” Obi-Wan said, holding her hand a little closer to himself, before taking a deep breath and slowly sitting up.

“Sometimes, only when you make sense,” She teased softly. He turned his head to her finally, his face of course still swollen and bruised as he offered her a small smile. He looked away again, wondering if he should let her walk him down to the medical wing now, but stopped when she spoke up again. “Its okay to be upset, I worry more when you try to pretend things are fine.”

“I know and I am sorry for that. I just need time to really process it. It still feels like a lot to take in,” he admitted. “I just need time.”

“And you have time…just try not to let it make your health worse at the same time. We like having you in one piece. You’ve got me, Anakin and Cody to help you. Just don’t push us away. We’re with you through it all.”

Obi-Wan turned his head, when he felt Sas let go of his hand only to lean into her touch when she cupped his cheek. “I love you,” he said quietly.

“I love you, too,” she answered.

For just a second, Obi-Wan thought she was going to lean in for a kiss, but her brown eyes quickly snapped to the door and he pulled away from her touch. Her hand dropped back to his, but she shifted to put some space between the two of them, just as his door opened.

Cody, and Chip stood in the doorway, behind them, Obi-Wan thought he saw the top of Ahsoka’s montrals passing behind the clone medic. If she was there, he didn’t doubt Anakin was standing just out of sight. “We’ll be back later- don’t want to crowd him right now.” He thought he heard his former padawan’s voice say. He assumed it was to Cody, who just gave a nod and a wave down the hall.

Chip was the first to push his way into the room. “No please, don’t stop on our account,” he teased as he moved past Cody. Obi-Wan just shook his head, or at least tried to and stopped when the room started spinning. Instead of just seeing Chip and Cody, Obi-Wan could have sworn a whole squad was trying to squeeze in his doorway.

“Stop what exactly?” Cody asked, shooting the jedi a small grin. Obi-Wan was just glad to see that the few minutes away had settled his friend. Maybe it did them all a little good. “Ran into General Skywalker on the way to get Chip. He uh, got me up to speed on what the mission was,” Cody said sitting down on the other side of Obi-Wan. “We’ll be ready next time.”

Obi-Wan did his best to clasp his friend’s shoulder in thanks. He could sense there was more he wanted to say, but he guessed that he was looking more tired than when he first stumbled in the room. “I should have told you from the beginning-” Obi-Wan started.

“Actually you should have had Ventress drop you off at the medbay landing,” Chip interrupted bluntly as he took the chair Sas had been sitting in earlier and tossed her his med bag. The medic then immediately took the bag back and started digging through it. “Would have saved all of us some trouble- mostly would have saved you a headache.” He pulled out a scanner and held it out in front of Obi-Wan.

“Chip-” Cody warned.

“What it would have! Then a droid could have had this done and he’d be swimming in bacta.”

Obi-Wan closed his eyes as the little blue beam shot out of the scanner and he did his best to hold still. He wasn’t going to be surprised if they had to walk him down to the bacta tanks across the temple, but he was feeling a little more relaxed than when he first arrived.

His attention was pulled away when Cody cleared his throat. “So, General Skywalker couldn’t exactly explain the part about the witch-”

“I’m not sure I fully understand it either, Cody,” Obi-Wan admitted. Truthfully there were a lot of pieces that if he had the mental clarity to focus on them, would probably paint a pretty clear picture. He glanced at Sas who had fallen silent the moment Cody and Chip walked in , and wondered for a moment what all was going through her head or if she was trying to connect the dots for them. He gave her hand a small squeeze and she seemed to blink back to the present. She gave a small smile, most of the worry unfurrowed from her brows.

“Can we wait until after I tell Kenobi if he’s dying or not to speculate about the Witch?” Chip demanded as he studied the little screen.

“Actually Chip, it was my dying wish,” Obi-Wan answered.

“Good to see your sense of humor is more intact than your ribs,” the medic answered.

Silence fell over the group for a moment before Cody spoke up again. “Oh forgot to tell you Vom, Skywalker and Tano said they were going pick up something for us to eat-”

“Guess that's our cue to walk you down to the medbay,” Sas said with a nod to Cody who shifted to help Obi-Wan stand.

“Actually I just sent word for some droids to bring a stretcher. The General has been moving probably more than he should have been after that fight-”

“So we’re probably having those burger things-”

“Not my fault if he agrees with me that place was good.” Cody said quickly before Chip decided to chime in as well.

Obi-Wan didn’t mean to tune out Cody, Chip and Sas’ debating dinner options. It all blended together. Not in a bad way. He just let himself lean over back against Sas, listened to her talk, and downplay her worries. He was tired still, and had no doubts that he was about to get dunked in a bacta tank, but part of the weight on his chest and shoulders felt lighter. Despite nothing really changing, he felt like he was having an easier time breathing. He closed his eyes for a moment focusing on the warmth and light surrounding him. That was a feeling he wouldn’t mind getting used to.

#Obi-Wan fanfic #Star Wars #Star wars fanfic #obi wan kenobi #asajj ventress #commander cody #clone oc #swtcw fic #Darth Maul #star wars oc #obi wan x oc #this fic took a lot longer than I thought it was going to #mostly because I'm insecure about how I write canon character pov and how Sas comes off in fics #Sas Vom #Me? not publishing at midnight? what is this?

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agirlunderarock · 3 years ago

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I'm a little late but for the ship bingo, I'd like to request Sasi-Wan 🥺 And/or Han and Leia

a;jga;dfgdofig

Okay first of all you’re not late. I’m probably late on answering this because I am always late on answering these things. Second, you hear me ramble about them all the time ;-; But I’ll tryi to summarize them

OH WAIT LOOK I GOT BINGO!!

Sasi-Wan

First of all Sasi-Wan, is a ship between my shape shifter OC Sas, and Obi-Wan. If you’d like to read more about Sas, you can do so right HERE. My buddy Ducky @bisexual-sea-shanties was the genius behind the ship name, not me. I was in fact very reluctant to make them a ship for a couple of reasons. 1. I am asexual/demiromantic. I often talk about fanfic and media including more asexuals and aromantics. I really want more asexual love stories because I feel they’re often sidelined or the characters are done poorly, or the character ends up alone to show they’re ace or aro, as if thats the only way to prove thats the case. I almost feel bad putting these two in a romantic relationship because I almost feel hypocritcal- even if I write Sas as biromanic/demisexual and Obi-Wan as demiaro/ace. Like it makes me feel conflicted, because they don’t have to be romantic, they could just as easily be platonic, and in the writing that I have planned thus far, they’re very platonic. But I’m also so tired of not finding any kind romance that can be seen between ace characters. I feel like at its core romance starts with a platonic love, and how people define romance depends on the couple themselves, which is very much the case with these two. They have to actively choose to try romance and figure out together what that means and I honestly love that about them. I like that they can go either way, but again it does make me feel like I’m contradicting myself at times. I don’t know, does anyone else ever feel like this?

I’m not doing a really good job of hyping up my own ship... Let me try again.

Look I’ve loved all the pairings I’ve done bingo for, but this is the only one to get my whole heart, and the “Its complicated” checked off. I’ve already explained that part- which really has nothing to do with the couple themselves and more to do with my personal feelings. Honestly though, I’ve come up with ocxcanon pairings in the past for other fandoms, but this one is my absolute favorite. I like hat theres a lot of layers to them. I like that they can be platonic or romantic- I like that they realize they need to have difficult conversations about it, even if they would prefer not to. Romance between these two is a really fine line, almost nothing changes between the time they love each other platonically, and deciding they want to try to have a romantic relationship. They have an understanding with one another that, even if they are romantically involved, thats not necessarily their first priority. They absolutely would fight tooth and nail to defend and protect the other, but in the grand scheme of things he’s going to put his duty as a jedi first, and she’s going to put the conflict on Zolan first, and thats not necessarily anything they’d want to change about the other. Sas doesn’t just fall in love with Obi-Wan, falling in love with him means falling in love with the jedi as a culture and a people. She works with a lot of them during the clone wars and become friends with a good number of them it would make sense for her to learn and grow from them. Obi-Wan doesn’t exactly get the same exposure to Clawdites and Zolan, he was only on planet for about a week- but he falls in love with her passion, determination, but also, her compassion and the genuine love she has for the people she encounters. They have very different ways of processing their situations- but I think for the most part they compliment one another’s way of thinking. I know I make them sound very serious- but they’re kind of not. Naturally theres a lot of banter between them, some easy flirting from time to time. I think what this comes down to, is that this a pairing looks at the current state of romance in their media and sees that one partner giving up a major part of their personality or a core belief or goal is romantic, and tells it “No, why would I ask he person I love to give up something so important to them without considering giving up that for myself?” In this case, she would never consider asking him about leaving the order, nor would he tell her to put down the Zolan conflicts, instead they meet in the middle and just try to support one another, give each other a place to escape for a while, and if it doesn’t work out romantically- then at least they’re still in each other’s lives. I think the saddest part is that after 66 they both lose it all anyway. The Jedi order falls, and because Palpatine fears Clawdite spies infiltrating the Emperial army, he has a blockade put around Zolan. Obi-Wan’s home and people are destroyed, Sas can’t go home and is separated from the people she loves most- the only thing they have left is each other.

Han/Leia

I almost checked off its complicated for these two. After going off for too long about my own made up ship, its going to either look like I know nothing about Han and Leia or just don’t care. Thats not the case, its just I’ve gone through weird phases with this ship. Heres the thing, I love them alright. I love he back and forth- the bicker flirting. The problem is I grew up projecting on Leia, and developed the FIGHT ME method of flirting. I think they’re an interesting pair. I think its hilarious how I grew up thinking Han Solo was probably a playboy, but literally we never see him interact with another woman in the OT and is wild to me hat I ever got that idea. I enjoy the Empire Strikes back- its my favorite out of the OT- but not so much for the scenes on the Falcon, or even the “I love you” “I know” bit. Theres a small bit in Bespin, where Han and Leia are just waiting around for Lando, and she’s kinda pissed and Han is trying to keep her calm, and he just lightly kisses her forehead and keeps talking. Thats the Han/Leia moment that gets me. Not the other big things, its that little moment, because its just so much more gentle than any of their other moments. Theres no big dramatics. They’re both just anxious and waiting, and he’s doing his best to let her know its going to be fine, even if it really isn’t. I don’t know what it is, but like when I think of Han and Leia, thats the moment I think of.

I almost forgot that I checked off wasted potential for them- but really it has nothing to do with them, and more about how the sequel trilogy did them. I need to do a rewatch of them, because its been a while, but I don’t remember the movie ever giving us a reason why Han and Leia were separated. I don’t remember anything about how any of their actions established anything major within the new republic that would have led to the First Order. I remember feeling like there were a lot of gaps that their story should have filled, but it didn’t, and none of the other characters really talked about it. There was talk about Luke’s legacy as a jedi, and why Leia stopped her jedi training, but nothing about actual things she was doing with the New Republic. It felt like it was just suddenly war without explanation. Like I said I need to do a rewatch, but I feel like theres big chunks of story missing that would have laid the groundwork for what Rey, Finn, and Poe were really dealing with. So not really wasted potential in their romance, just in the story telling, but honestly thats kinda the sequel trilogy as whole for me. I’ve talked about that too much already though this was supposed to be about Han and Leia and their romance.

#Ship ask meme #Ship Bingo #Star wars ships #obi-wan x oc #Obi-Wan Kenobi #Sas Vom #Star Wars oc #A jedi and his green wife #That really is what makes a star wars ship for me isn't it #Kanan and Hera can be summarized the same way oops #han x leia #Han Solo #Leia Organa #Sequel trilogy critical #Finn was the most wasted potential and I cry about him every day #I miss Finn #Dammi this was supposed to be about Han and Leia and all I'm thinking about is Finn

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