To think that the first person Andrew ever decided to tell about what Drake did to him told him that he was mistaken, that he was overreacting, that Drake was his brother, and a good man. I wonder how long it took Andrew to get past the idea that maybe he was the one in the wrong. Andrew didn't tell anyone about what happened to him, he didn't think he could overcome someone telling him he was mistaken again. But then Neil Josten didn't just believe him, he sacraficed himself to keep it from happening again.
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Art I did during my break but don't wanna post on main but you know what. I like Levi and Richard (and Arienne the redhead).
Basically, Levi and Richard go to school together, Richard decides to go by the name Richard and the only person to without question go along with "I'm a boy now" is Levi who calls him Dick. And then gets into fist fights with boys that don't call him Richard. So Richard falls pretty much in love in school then his parents divorce and he moves away.
Many years later (10+) Richard meets Levi again and it's very much nothing grand. Levi overhears Richard introducing himself to someone and is like "lmao Dick? You work here now? Sucks to be you" and Richard is immediately 'I love him so much I hate myself for how easily I give up all dignity for him' but yeah. They work in different departments so Levi does more behind the scenes stuff while Richard talks to clients and is very social.
And their coworkers in both departments love Richard because he's such a nice guy and Levi's department hates Levi a lot cause he's an asshole. (then stuff happens that would require a tw blah blah blah) So after a month of Levi not being at work he returns and Richard immediately goes over to the department to check on him and he's just. Incredibly mellow. No cussing and no cockiness and worst of all, he's being called Richard which is very much not correct from Levi. So he points it out that no one else calls him Dick and if he had a problem with it he would have said something by now so hey, maybe don't suddenly change the entire friendship on your own. (So Levi texts him later to say "sorry for being a dick, Dick" and Richard is v happy and content with that turn out)
Richard is honestly tragically created out of spite for the fact I saw a name IRL and I know that the state that I live in would in fact NOT have someone that intentionally funny and trans so I have to make my own funny trans guy to fill the void.
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Thinking about Spy Again in the context of alcoholic agent mega (I was gonna call it a headcanon but I think that's just text) and goddamnit this song hurts. I mean it hurts regardless, but the captions say that Curt sings "you'd put my drink down, turn my life around" in reference to Owen. That Owen would help him stop drinking and turn his life around.
There's also "Owen would want me to do this, so I know that I'll get through it," and that just kinda breaks me. Curt is trying to quit drinking because of Owen. That's what is getting him through all of the scenes where he refuses alcohol. He wants to be a spy again, but Owen is what he is holding onto to stay sober.
Jesus. That is so fucking sad.
And the people around him, especially in his job, just keep giving him alcohol, forcing it on him. At the very least Cynthia and Barb know that he drank himself into a hole when Owen died, and he's just constantly being offered alcohol. It's part of his job (just like seducing women?).
In all of his sober scenes he is just fucking up left and right, like he doesn't know how to do his job without alcohol. Part of me wonders if he started drinking in part because Owen was so good and Curt wanted to keep up with him, to impress him (except eventually it just makes Owen clean up after him)
And then the night before he finds out that Owen- the person getting him through his tenuous sobriety- is alive, he goes binge drinking with his work friends.
I imagine he has a flask in his jacket pocket when he and Owen are on the staircase. Do you think Curt takes a swig after he kills the (unarmed) man he loves?
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To voicemail and back- 275 words
The line rang and rang. James knew there'd be no reply. But he called nonetheless, clinging onto the last threads left like his life depended on it. If only to hear his voice again.
“I cannot take your call right now. If it's urgent, leave a message.”
Beep.
The silence hung thick in the room. Weighing down James' whole body and coating every inch of the dark room in an eerie cold.
James' hand trembled, listening to his own unsteady breathing echoing back at him.
His lungs clenched painfully and the phone fell in slow motion, slipping from his hand. James' chest burned as his hand flew to cover his mouth, muffling the gasp of an inhale that choked his throat. James's shoulders jerked, his throat welling up as he willed himself not to cry.
He feebly attempted to contain the sobs wracking over his shaking body. His body trembled silently, desperately trying not to let tears escape his eyes, a few falling regardless.
James stared into the empty room, his world small and dark as his body silently shook.
~~~~~O~~~~~
The line rang once before a monotone tinny voice droned from the speaker.
“The number you have dialled is no longer in service.”
Icy cold crashed over James' body.
“No”
The strangled word tore from his throat.
“No. No. No.”
He dialled again. And again. And again.
“The number you have called is no longer in service.”
Icy cold tendrils invaded every inch of his trembling body.
“The number you have called is no longer in service.”
James' whole world came crashing down in the dark. It was like losing him all over again.
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any thots on shinra and izaya? :3
IM SO SORRY I FORGOT TO ANSWER THIS GJKGD
I wanted to type up this like, long heartfelt post because these two make me insane in the membrane. I love them platonic and romantic both because either way at the core of their relationship there is a tragedy of two people who could've been inseparable, and then separated.
And I think it's a TRAVESTY that they didn't animate the breakdown Izaya had at the thought of Shinra dropping him. It makes the scene where Shinra waxes poetic about Izaya being fragile in the last arc make sense the way it just doesn't in the anime.
I dont think anything speaks on my thoughts better than my Actual thoughts during my last Durarara phase so! Have the raw screenshots :] ft. Friends
TLDR:
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Ramble about Eddie to your heart’s content, bestie :D
I’m honestly very interested in your ideas :3
Again, don’t be scared to just ramble in my ask box, I love hearing peoples ideas
AJDKKAGAJAKAK- THANK YOU <3 <3
I'm wailing rn /pos
My AU! Disabled Eddie!! Ok so he wasn't born with his disability, it came about later.
My Current story is that he had stroke in late middle/early high school! I have done research and Yes it is possible for teens and younger to have strokes. From what I recall it can be significantly worse for them compared to adult strokes
Eddie was left with permanent complications and is disabled bc of it. He has coordination, balance, and general mobility complications among a list of other post stroke effects. I just found the word I was looking for a few days ago to describe his mobility issues, it's Ataxia!
Eddie has to deal with bouts of muscle weakness on his right side which can effect his vision. He also gets vertigo a Lot and at this point dizziness is expected every time he stands.
He uses forearm crutches when he needs extra help walking bc he does have good days where he may not need them! But for longer distances he brings them bc he's better safe than sorry. He also has cane but he doesn't use it As much.
He also has a wheelchair that he Hates. He hates having to use it. But his Really horrible days leave him unable to stand, much less walk. He wishes he could just hide it somewhere and never think about it but alas. it's important.
He dislikes the wheelchair so much bc it makes him feel useless. He is Not! I want to clarify that wheelchair users are perfectly Capable and Independent! Eddie just has an issue with overachieving and working himself too hard. He wants to be helpful and do So Much but there are some things he can't do while in his wheelchair. He was stuck in a chair for months after his stroke and it was devastating back then. He has No good memories with a wheelchair so he continues to dislike using it.
Ok putting a read more bc I am not shutting up for a While
Relationships with the neighbors! Generally the same. Barnaby doesn't chase him bc that would be mean (? I can't think of a better way to describe it)
Sally is still Sally but she's specific on her mailman hate (lmao) to make sure Eddie and everyone else knows she's not faulting him for his disability.
Hmm yeah everything else is pretty much the same. I guess everyone is also more open about offering Eddie help from time to time if he looks like he needs an extra hand. They're not persistent or anything, but if they see him struggling to carry a package or two they're more inclined to help.
I still don't know how Howdy gets his shit. Honestly If Eddie is having a crutch or chair day,, Howdy just won't get his stock unless he gets it himself. I can't think of a way for Eddie to deliver all those heavy ass boxes.
He does ask people to pick up their packages occasionally too. He tries to deliver them all himself but it's not always possible. He offers a trolley they can use.
I want to talk about angst. So this is very specific, I'll try to keep it short. growing up, Eddie lived in a four bedroom house. two downstairs master bedrooms and two upstairs normal bedrooms. Before his stroke he was upstairs, his older brother in the other room, and his older sister in the bedroom downstairs.
Afterwards he had to move downstairs. His sister Hated this. She loved her room and her private bathroom and she was very prissy about it.
This snowballed into her just,, taking all her frustrations out on Eddie. He took Her Bedroom. He's getting all the attention. Her little brother was ruining everything.
Eddie was devastated by this. He went as far as to attempt to convince his parents to let them switch rooms again. He couldn't physically walk up the stairs most days but he just wanted his big sister to not hate him anymore.
Their relationship never fully recovered. As an adult Eddie will still find ways to blame himself and feel guilty. But he just can't bring himself to talk to her.
They used to be so close. She let Eddie experiment with her makeup, they talked about fashion and boys and she helped him so so much when he was questioning his sexuality.
and then it just, fell apart. But not quietly like a loose thread but rather a house that wasn't built quite right and the screws came loose one by one.
Eddie's memory gets really fuzzy when thinking that far back. but some of those memories are burned into his mind and he wishes he could forget them like he does everything else.
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