#OR getting hired and then someone who’s better than me shows up to shoot for fucking free

[idsb]

.

[houseofanticipation]

You're sitting with your friend Sam at a coffee shop, catching up. She's telling you about an instagram ad she keeps getting for some audiobook streaming service. "It's just crazy," she says, "because I was just telling Lucille I wanted to start reading more books but I never have the time, and then it's like instantly I'm getting these ads all the time."

"So what," you say over your steaming mug, "you think they're listening to you?"

Sam shakes her head. "Honestly I think it's almost scarier than that. They have so much information about us, they don't even need to listen to our conversations. They just know, based on everything they've gathered about me, that I'm probably someone who wants to listen to audiobooks."

"Well they can't be that smart," you say. "Because the only ads I've been getting lately are for something called Slut Cream."

Sam raises an eyebrow. "You must know I'm going to need more details."

You take out your phone and find an ad to show her. It's not difficult; literally all of the ads you see on instagram are like this. They're even showing up in other places now, on webpages you visit or apps you use. This one is one you've seen before: a beautiful woman in a crop top that just barely covers her nipples is proudly displaying a squeeze tube of the kind you'd buy sunscreen or toothpaste in. The caption says, "Being a slut isn't a hobby—it's a lifestyle! Step up your slut game with Slut Cream! Shop Now"

"I don't even know what slut cream is," you say. "All you get when you look it up is a bunch of porn."

"Well, obviously it's a way to step up your slut game," says Sam sagely. "What does it say on the website?"

"Oh, I'm not clicking the link," you say. "I don't want to encourage them! What I want to know is why suddenly this ad is all I can seem to see!"

Sam shoots you a wink. "Maybe you're just a slut. These data brokers know us better than we know ourselves."'

What neither of you know is that it's actually quite easy to buy online ad space, and they let you get pretty specific with your intended audience.

I live in the next apartment over from you. I've been watching you for a long time, studying you, listening to you through our shared wall. We've talked a few times, some terse conversation at the mailboxes or in the hall, which is how I knew enough about you to place those ads, with audience parameters so specific that probably only you and about five other people would see them. I had fun making them; hiring the model to do the photoshoot, dusting off the skills I picked up in that college graphic design course, creating a website for this fake business (though I'm disappointed you still haven't clicked through to see it). If you actually tried to buy slut cream, the website would tell you we're currently closed due to high traffic, and to check back later. Nowhere on the website does it explain what slut cream is.

A number of strange things happen to you over the course of the following day. On your lunch break you walk down the block to the deli by your office. You're in here every weekday, but today the energy here is different. People are staring you, side-eyeing you, having whispered conversations that stop abruptly when you get too close. As you're walking back to work, an old woman spits on the ground as you pass, you'd swear you heard the word "whore!" hissed under her breath. You wonder if you should say something, stand up for yourself, but she's elderly, probably confused, and you decide to be the bigger person.

In the hours after lunch, you're propositioned by no less than seven of your male coworkers. You've had to refuse a few invitations to dinner in your time, but seven in a day is completely out of the ordinary, and the things these men are offering to do to you go way outside the bounds of first date stuff. One guy tells you the conference room is empty, if you want to go for a quick fuck; another guy tells you he hasn't cum in a month, and if you sucked his cock he'd pump so much cum down your throat that you wouldn't need to eat dinner. Your boss even tells you he and his wife are looking for a third and he thought of you first, like he's offering you a big promotion. The strangest thing is that all of these men seem genuinely surprised when you turn them down. Like this sort of thing usually works with girls. One guy even says, "sorry, I was just trying to help."

It was pretty easy to hire actors for the deli and the street. You go to the same place every day, so I knew where they'd have to go and roughly when they'd need to be there. The harder part was getting your coworkers to play along, especially because I was picky about getting people who could sell the act. For a few of them all it took was money. A few of them I had to blackmail. For your boss I had to call in a favor, get his boss to threaten his job. He protested, but I think it made his cock hard, thinking about fucking you alongside his wife.

I keep this up for a few weeks. Anywhere you go I have people watching you, talking about you behind your back. I have people approaching you on the train, at the park, in restaurants, offering to fuck you like they're doing you a favor. You stay firm in your refusal—I wouldn't have expected any less from you—but I can tell it's beginning to eat at you. I watch you try to figure out what you're doing that seems to give all these people the wrong idea about you; you start to dress more modestly, talk less, even walk a little less confidently. But none of this will change anything. All it will do is make you feel more repressed.

After a month, I decide it's time to make my move. I could probably wait longer, but the anticipation is getting too much for me, and besides, you're beginning to get a little wild around the eyes. I'd hate to break you before I've had my fun. One evening, when I know you're home, I unlock your apartment with the duplicate key I had made two months ago. You're in the kitchen, washing dishes with headphones on; you didn't hear me come in. I leave the door open as I approach you, admiring the way you shake your ass to whatever it is you're listening to. I get right up behind you and stay there for a moment, lavishing in your innocence, feeling my cock strain at my belt as I imagine taking it away from you. Then I reach around front of you with both arms and plunge my hand into your panties

You shout in shock, fight back, try to push me off as the headphones fall off your head. But I've got you pinned against the counter, my full body weight against you, one hand down your pants, the other groping your breasts. Once you realize that fighting won't help, you stop struggling and ask me what I want. "Please," you say. Just hearing that quiver in your voice almost makes me delirious with lust. "Please, let me go. I don't want this, please."

I bury my face in your neck, kissing and breathing you in. You smell incredible, like fear and sweat and sex. I bring my lips up to your ear, let them brush against you as I speak. "Of course you want this, baby. You've been trying so hard to hide it, but you don't have to hide with me. Look, you left the door open for me." I let you turn your head enough to see the door hanging open just as my fingers find your clit. I'm rubbing you gently, tenderly, just the way I've watched you touch yourself through the webcam I have in your room. My other hand is under your shirt now and I'm squeezing your breast, rolling your nipple between my fingers, feeling it slowly grow full and erect. You try to stifle a soft moan and I kiss your neck again. "It's okay, baby. You don't have to be ashamed. It's okay to want to feel good. Let me make you feel good."

You clutch your face in your hands and let out a cry of frustration and humiliation and agony and pleasure. You barely know me; I'm the guy next door who sometimes looks at you a little too long. The guy you speed up to avoid in the hall. But that feeling radiating from you clit... You think how exhausting it's been, doing everything you could think of to change people's perception of you, get them to stop looking at you as a slut, how none of it has done you any good anyway. You wonder if you'd have had more fun fucking Jim in the conference room, or swallowing Dylan's cum, or having a threesome with your boss and his wife. And that throbbing in your clit, the agonizing pleasure...You remember that beautiful woman in the ad: "Being a slut isn't a hobby—it's a lifestyle!" You think about how happy she looked, how fulfilled. You remember Sam's words: "These data brokers know us better than we know ourselves."

It does feel good, doesn't it? To let me touch you, pleasure you, to let go of this act you've been holding on to. Isn't it okay to want to feel good? Why did you ever let anyone make you ashamed of that? You try out another moan, letting the pleasure well up through your chest and out your mouth. It feels good, so you try another, and another, and then you're leaning back into me, grinding up against me, delighting in the feeling of my hard cock against your ass.

"Good," I say. "You're letting go of those silly hang-ups. Now we can have our real fun." My hands still around you, controlling you, I half lead-half carry your trembling body to the bedroom. I throw you on the bed, face up so I can get a good look at your eyes, see what I've done to your mind. Those same eyes that have avoided me in the hall so many times now gaze hungrily up at me, wanting me, needing me.

Who am I do decline?

I pull off your pants and panties as a single unit, letting you take care of your shirt for yourself. I kick of my own bottoms, letting my throbbing cock slap against your leg as it springs from its confinement. Don't think I don't notice the way your whole body shivers when it touches you. I lift your legs and push your knees up towards your ears; you're remarkably flexible. It must be all that yoga I've watched you do at the place downtown. I've greatly enjoyed your visits to that place, so it's nice to see they weren't in vain.

You're afraid of me, all of a sudden. Maybe some part of you is seeing sense, realizing you'd have to be crazy to let a guy like me come into your home and fuck you like this. But what was the alternative? Have me rape you? Let me tell you, darling: I would have raped you. You feel the head of my cock gliding over your skin, exploring your inner thighs and pubic area, and tremble at my touch. I want this, you tell yourself. This is what a slut like me needs.

All the same, you cry a little bit when I penetrate you. It's not because it hurts—it does hurt a bit, but you're wet enough, and it's not entirely a bad pain. It's not because you're afraid—well, maybe in part, but that's not the core of it. You cry because you're finally letting go. Letting go of the person you used to be, or thought you were. It's the relief of knowing you don't have to pretend anymore, wrapped up with the mourning you feel when you lose a potential version of yourself. I lean across you as my cock fills you up, and tenderly, I kiss away your tears. "Hush, my darling. I'm here. I will always be here. I will love you despite what you are, when everyone else turns away in disgust."

My weight on you feels good, comforting. The way I press down on your legs, stretching you out, driving my cock so deep inside you that it brushes your cervix. It hurts a little, but is that any better than you deserve? Could a slut like you really expect to find better than this? Better than unconditional love and a desire to give you the pleasure you need?

I'm speeding up now, my face something like an animal, furious and insistent as I gaze down at you. There's darkness behind my eyes, you think, something cold and cruel. You thank God I'm on your side. My hips are like a hammer on your pelvis now, and with each thrust you feel my cock bulging inside you, throbbing and pulsating with anticipation. When I finally plant my seed in you, groaning and growling and pressing you further into the bed, you find there's something comforting about the warmth of my cum inside you. Maybe my seed will take root, make you swell up with me, make you mine. As I roll off you, huffing and panting, the tears begin to stream down your face again, this time from joy.

What did a slut like you ever do to deserve someone who loves you like I do?

[misfitgirlwrites]

Doe Deputy (A Self-Hired Secretary!) | Alastor x Imp!Reader

I wanted to get this out around this time, I'm proud of myself! Here's the deal, guys:

You’re a mischievous bean and why would you not take the perks of working for a scary Overlord?

These are headcanons based off of some stories I have already written with my own character :) I hope you guys enjoy them! I'll most likely have more with this whole secretary thing I have going on

Be sure to join my giveaway while you still can! Want a personalized self-insert with a Hazbin or Helluva Boss character? Come enter! It ends July 4th!

I give you the goods now, lads, please enjoy!

CW: Mentions of violence, mentions of cannibalism (?)

a/n: I couldn't make it a bulleted list? I love it here y'all

🖤 I'll take a step into actual author territory, guys. This is pre-season one. I'm talking Alastor's full infamy in Hell

❤️ And there you were after getting fired from quitting your most recent job, taking the walk of shame home to your...decent-ish apartment that you suspect you wouldn't have for much longer

🖤 You needed a solution. You're willing to work for it, of course, but you still had a time limit

❤️ Rumors were going around that a bit of charity work and a promise of good behavior could get you a stay with the Princess of Hell, but charity work was more of a last resort for you

🖤 Finding a nice Overlord that could hand out some work, however...

❤️ It was the best idea you've had since you've been in Pentagram City

🖤 You didn't need a pushover, and you wanted to like who you were working with so that cut out a lot of candidates

❤️ Before you gave up on the idea completely, you heard the static of a radio faintly from someone's house and it reminded you of one candidate

🖤 It would require work and patience, but you weren't taking no for an answer!

❤️ Well, you didn't necessarily ask the Radio Demon, honestly

🖤 You began tailing him when you could and when it was safe to do so

❤️ Large crowds and far as ALL RINGS away

🖤 You didn't want any stumbles or mistakes that led to your little Hellish life going bye-bye

❤️ You had to know at least a little about him before you could really get things started

🖤 Was he a tea or coffee person? Did he like alcohol? Drugs? Just straight murder? (It's looking like just straight murder. You should search up torture methods)

❤️ It was easy for you to blend into crowds and walk right past the demon; he catches on that you're tailing him a lot but you've been evading powerful hell-born demons your whole life

🖤 We all love a liiiittttlllleeee one-up

❤️ You learn of his diet...how much can you judge, you guess?

🖤 Alastor is particular too, he picks his meat up from the same place at least two to three times a week

❤️ The first part of your plan begins

🖤 Dress nicely, a black below-the-knee pencil skirt or black dress pants, either a black or red (any shade) button-up with black or red (or both) dress shoes or heels

❤️ It's time to pick up Alastor's meals for the week! Much better than making multiple trips, right? He's a very busy Overlord ❤️

🖤 You'd waltz in as confident as possible "Hiya! Uh, name's _____. I'm here to pick up Alastor's venison for this week. Figured it'd be better to store in bulk."

❤️ Rosie would tilt her head and stare down at you, "...who are you, dear?"

🖤 "Right! I'm kinda doing a trial run as his secretary! I'm implementing some of my own ideas that I hope will be improvements on how he already moves."

❤️ Now you're nervous. You have no idea how Rosie could respond but you do know you're in fucking Cannibal Town so the only thing you can do is shoot Satan a quick prayer and show off your sharp smile

🖤 You're relieved when Rosie literally lights up, a large smile grows on her face as she clasps her hands together, "he finally took my advice, did he? And here I thought the bugger would never do it!"

❤️ You nodded, "I think this will be a good fit for me! I hope you can agree since you'll be seeing me weekly instead. I moved your hangouts to the end of the week in case the boss likes a drink here and there."

🖤 "A wise decision. You're doing great already if I have any say. Here, I'll grab what you need!"

❤️ Mission fucking SUCCESSFUL

🖤 Now was Alastor happy finding stacked containers of venison outside of his plate with a note?

❤️ The safe answer was no by how he was searching like a beast on the hunt. Luckily you didn't stay where he could see you

🖤 Next is the fun part and if you did this right, you'd be talking to the Radio Demon about this job position very soon

❤️ You knew of The Vee's. Alastor and Vox were never quiet with their quarrels. Why not take this as an opportunity?

🖤 An opportunity to weigh your options a bit if you want to be real. You could simply apply and most likely get the position

❤️ It took one bump in with a very cute spider demon to fill you in on Valentino and your weighing ceases lmao

🖤 Back to the original plan or as you like to call it:

💙 Mission: Blow Vox's Fuse for Money 💙

❤️ It was simple enough, really. The only part to worry about was security

🖤 But you're one of the best at slipping past guards and cameras

❤️ You really got a kick out of your handiwork

🖤 You even dropped off a picture to Alastor as a little warning 💅🏼

❤️ It was funny when you first thought about it and from the early morning power outage, you think you got your point across very well

🖤 Feeling proud of yourself, you decide tonight to go to your cozy roof hiding spot to see if you can get any new information

❤️ You were really getting into this job

🖤 You were so focused on writing down a schedule, that you didn't notice Alastor wasn't where you left him

❤️ "You're a very slippery thing, I must say."

🖤 Your pen stopped moving immediately

❤️ Because FUCK he was in too close proximity for this part of the plan

🖤 A cute way to say you were sure you were well hidden and he wasn't supposed to find you

❤️ So what could you do now? Speed up the plan and jump straight to your proposal? Or jump off the building and run for it?

🖤 And there you were, scrambling to climb over the ledge

❤️ Of course, you didn't make it very far. Your notebook and pen hit the ground as a black tendril wrapped around your torso and tightly might you add

🖤 "Because you've been so busy running around in my business, I'll give you one chance to explain yourself."

❤️ Truthfully because you've thoroughly entertained him now

🖤 Vox threw a complete tantrum and if he wasn't in front of you, he'd start chuckling at the thought of it again

❤️ "...So I figure all the sweet talk I had planned is out the window?" You'd ask.

🖤 "Absolutely."

❤️ Now or never was an understatement but you felt like this was better than being homeless in Hell

🖤 "I wanted to offer my services as a secretary. I think it'll do us both some good."

❤️ "What makes you think I need your assistance?"

🖤 "Need is a strong word, boss. I'm here if you want to focus on all the fun stuff while I arrange all the shows and bring the coffee for the Overlord meetings--I feel like they would appreciate the nice gesture from you, don't think so? While you're out being scary, I can promote your public image at the same time!"

❤️ "I don't need a secretary."

🖤 "Your good friend Ms. Rosie seems to have been telling you otherwise--"

❤️ The tendril holding you in the air tightened

🖤 You give Alastor a big smile and quickly apologize, "What I mean is this is Hell! Order me around and I'll do literally whatever you ask as long as you pay me."

❤️ "So what do you call this then?"

🖤 "A free trial. Wasn't this week just a little bit more relaxing?"

❤️ Alastor hated to admit it, but you weren't wrong. Rising to infamy was a very busy job and it would be easier to have someone else handle the background things

🖤 And you

❤️ You managed to tail him and learn base information to do all this without him knowing. Realistically he was standing in front of a good candidate

🖤 Rosie already met you (did you plan that??) plus nothing you did wasn't...not helpful

❤️ Alastor couldn't believe he was actually considering this

🖤 You hit the ground and let out a small "oof" before staring up at Alastor who was now pinching the bridge of his nose

❤️ "The actual trial starts Monday. We have a morning meeting to go to."

🖤 ...Yes.

❤️ YES!

🖤 Holy fuck! Hail Satan, you did it! Major pat on the back, you!

❤️ "Don't go getting all excited. I could change my mind at any time."

🖤 "Understood, boss!"

❤️ Alastor could get used to that

Taglist: @alastorssimp @saints-wrapped-in-plastic @dasimp777

Requests are open! If you'd like to be tagged in future Alastor or Hazbin Hotel content, please let me know! My asks and DMs are open to all!

[raineandsky]

#106

“[Villain].”

The villain lets out an audible groan that inevitably raises their manager’s eyebrow. A short ball of fury, basically straight out of college. Not too unlike the villain. “Is it in my contract that I’m allowed to ignore you?”

“It’s not.” He gives them a moment where he clearly expects them to turn around. They don’t. “I need you to train up the new guy.”

“Do I have to?”

Their manager nudges someone forward as they turn. “‘Fraid so. You’ve been here the longest.”

No, that’s you, the villain’s about to say. But then their eyes fall on the new hire, who looks like she’s already regretting every life decision she’s ever made. What the hell is a hero doing in a burger joint?

“Okay,” the manager adds after a long moment, “staring is rude, [Villain]. Let’s dial it back.”

Their name jolts them out of their stupor. “I– yeah, sorry. I just, uh, recognise her from, uh…” The hero waits expectantly. Their manager tips his head curiously. “… high school.”

“Oh! Old acquaintances.” The manager claps his hands like this solves everything. “Lots of catching up to do, huh? I’ll leave you guys here then—and [Villain], please, for the love of god, train her up at least a bit amidst the chatting.”

The manager gives the hero a friendly pat on the back before throwing the villain a quick smile and disappearing around the door again.

The hero stares blankly at the villain. The villain stares equally blankly straight back. “Do you work here?” the hero asks eventually.

The villain doesn’t feel too inclined to answer that. “Do you?” they shoot back.

The hero clicks her tongue, shuffling on her feet. “Why don’t you show me how the fryers work before I have to kill you for getting too personal?”

“Ah, yes, the fryers.” The villain turns to the bubbling pot of oil next to them. “Hot enough to cook chips and to dissolve a body in.”

The hero’s face scrunches up seemingly on instinct, and the villain can’t help but laugh. “Don’t worry,” they say with forced friendliness, “I change the oil before I cook food in it.”

“Okay,” the hero says like she’s three seconds from throwing up. “Is there someone else here who can show me stuff?”

“You wish,” the villain jeers. “Manager’s busy, you saw him. Only other guy here only works on Thursdays and Sundays.”

“It’s Thursday today.”

“Exactly. Not what I’d call reliable. I, however” — the villain does a twirl for dramatic effect — “am here… more often than I am willing to tell you.”

“Well.” The hero smirks, the kind of expression no one wants to see on a hero’s face. “I’m sure I’ll figure out when you’re here if I stop by enough. What, is it full time? Does villainy pay peanuts?”

The villain refrains from the urge to punch her. “Does the agency?”

The hero’s mocking expression turns flat. “I’m here undercover,” she says plainly.

“I recognised you immediately.”

“Well, I’m not here for you.” The hero pushes past them to figure out the fryer on her own. “I’m not telling you any more than that.”

“I better warn my friends you’re here, then.” The villain snorts as the hero fiddles with the knob. “Are you here to give whoever you’re looking for food poisoning?”

“I know how to cook, [Villain].”

“You’re turning the heat too low.”

The hero pointedly pulls the knob back up. “Just show me how the kitchen works, please, and I’ll consider not telling your manager who he’s working with.”

The villain fixes her with a long stare. “I could blow your cover too.” But they roll their eyes and beckon her over to the griddle anyway. “Okay, so, wrong me and I’ll shove your entire face on this.”

The villain shows the hero around the kitchen, each bit of apparatus accompanied with a lovingly detailed description of how the villain intends to use each one against the hero if she pushes her luck. The hero listens with distaste mashed into her expression the whole time.

“Let’s try and keep things civil, okay?” the hero says when she’s clearly had enough of all the different ways the villain has on hand to murder her. “I don’t fancy fighting in a kitchen, and I’m sure you don’t either.”

Oh, god, how wrong the hero is. They’re itching to grab one of those knives off the hook and just—

No. They have to play it safe to begin with, keep it lowkey, make her feel a little too safe. So they just roll their eyes and, with all the authenticity they can muster, simply say “agreed.”

[laundrybiscuits]

“Eddie,” Robin says, eyes wide in a way that means trouble. “Edward Munson, I sincerely hope your last will and testament is in order, because you are going to completely and totally die when I tell you who just got hired at Scoops Ahoy.”

Eddie groans. “Don’t tell me Tammy Thompson is giving up on her Nashville dreams.”

“No, I hate you, shut up forever, you’ll never guess.” Robin pauses, then in a dramatic whisper she’s definitely picked up from Eddie himself, says: “Steve Harrington.”

“Jesus. No shit?”

“Yeah, I have to train him. Oh my god it’s the worst. He’s so bad at, like, everything.”

She shoves at his shoulder until he moves out of the doorway of the trailer, and flings herself backwards onto his couch. “Like! Okay! I showed up to my shift thinking it would be a completely normal day in which I would be bored out of my skull distributing frozen dairy products to the flotsam and jetsam of Hawkins, and Ned’s like, hey Robin, you’re showing the new guy the ropes today. And then that freaking jackass has the freaking nerve to say—” Her voice drops a full register. “Uhh, nice to meet you, I’m Steve. Nice to meet you! God!”

Eddie cringes sympathetically, sucking air between his teeth. There’s a special kind of indignity to being so completely and utterly below the radar of Hawkins High royalty, even former bearers of the crown. It’s not as if Hawkins is a big town; Eddie’s pretty sure he could pick every single person in the graduating classes of ‘84 and ‘85 out of a crowd. He’ll probably be able to do it for ‘86 too, though he’s trying not to think about it too hard. So he’ll be a senior again (again) this fall, whatever. It’s fine. It’s whatever.

Once in a while, he wastes some time really, really wishing he’d gotten to know Robin earlier in the year. Maybe even last year. For undying friendship reasons, yeah, but also because with her in his corner, he might’ve actually passed enough of his classes to fucking graduate on his second fucking try.

But he’d only actually met her, like actually met her for real instead of passing her in the hall sometimes, when he’d let himself get suckered into rejoining band. It wasn’t like he could’ve brought his guitar in, but he let it slip to Miss Genovese that he could read music and keep time, and they needed someone to wallop the bass drum, and he figured a little experience fucking around with percussion might be the one thing he could salvage from the year. He’d just…been so goddamn tired of feeling stuck, spinning his wheels. Music was something he could actually handle; something he could actually get better at. Something he could master. He's man enough to admit he needed a win.

The actual songs were all stuffy Holst and Sousa numbers, but they’d had some fun technical bits he spent his evenings hammering out for a couple weeks. And then right around the point when he’d gotten good enough to get bored and think about quitting like last time, it had somehow wound up that shooting the shit with the gangly weirdo in the trumpet section was one of the best parts of his day. Unfortunately, by the time they’d gotten close enough for her to start bullying him about homework and shit, it had been way too late to save his chance at walking that ‘85 stage with assholes like Steve fucking Harrington.

Not that Harrington would’ve even noticed, apparently.

“Anyway, the one singular saving grace about the entire situation is that he looks even dumber in the sailor costume than I do, so at least that will make me feel better about my life until he gets fired for burning down the ice cream freezer or something like that. Eddie, I cannot stress this enough: he is so bad at this job.”

Eddie very tactfully does not bring up the litany of screw-ups that Robin’s admitted to over the last couple weeks since she started at Scoops; he just says, “Buckley, it sounds to me like you might be in need of some quality relaxation time this fine evening. I can offer you a nice cold beer, some herbal refreshment…or a fiendishly weird new song to learn with an intro riff that'll make you cry.”

Robin, inveterate nerd of his heart, sits up immediately and chirps, “New song, please!” just like he knew she would. She’s going to run off and elope with his acoustic one of these days, and he’s not even mad about it.

“Coming right up, m’lady,” says Eddie. “I promise this entire Harrington situation will be over before you know it, and neither of us will ever have to think about him again.”

(ETA: First chapter of this fic has been edited/expanded and posted on AO3)

[wavypotatochips]

i love sergio so much, can u write another one? maybe where he likes to tease reader a lot but she’s very shy and introvert so sometimes he stops doing it because he might be scared he could offender her, like he’s very soft and lovey with her and maybe they both have a crush on each other ?

𝐀𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 | 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐨 𝐑𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐬

𝘗𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴: Sergio Ramos x Female Reader

𝘞𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘊𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵: 2.4k

𝘚𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘺: You are a shy, introvert photographer who PSG hires to take pictures of the players. You have always had a soft spot for Sergio Ramos, even before you were hired. With more time spent together, your crush is just growing, especially considering how sweetly he treats you. One day, He believes he has overstepped the mark one day when he does something that makes you flee.

𝘈𝘶𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘴 𝘕𝘰𝘵𝘦: I am so sorry for the wait!! (college has me in a chokehold rn) Of course I can write another! Thank you so much for requesting (: I'm not truly sure how to convey a very shy/ introverted individual, but I tried my best! Hope you like how I represent your idea ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚!!

[Translator Spanish is used- Note that translation may be wrong.]

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ REQUESTS ARE OPEN ♥

With just a few seconds remaining, the striker has  a chance to score and is going to kick, but Sergio stops him, giving PSG the victory. You smile to yourself and raise your camera to your eyes while shooting pictures of everyone as the boys rush over to him to celebrate. In order to capture Ramos alone, you keep the camera raised while you wait for the ideal opportunity. As your wish is granted a short while later, you start snapping quickly. He turns to look at you and gives you a wink as you peek through the camera lens to take the picture. Your heart starts to beat quickly as a flush spreads over your cheeks. "Got any good shots?," Ricardo, one of the other photographers for PSG, inquires. Ricardo, who is your age, constantly makes an effort to start a short conversation with you despite the fact that he is aware that you might not be interested in talking. But, because you two work side by side all day, you are closer to him than the other employees. You don't say much to him; you just nod your head in return as you look down at the camera and start looking through the pictures you've shot. You are a PSG employee recruited to photograph them for the social media department. As you are far from an extrovert, it comes as a surprise to you that you even got the job. Yet, social media is to thank for your opportunity. As several of the player photographs appeared on the explore page and started going viral, someone from PSG's social media team came across your profile. The next thing you know, an interview has been scheduled, and the rest is history. With butterflies in your stomach, you take a bit longer than necessary to look at the picture you just shot of Sergio Ramos. As a spectator, you have always found Sergio Ramos to be handsome, and your emotions have only gotten stronger now that you have the chance to meet him in person and get to know him better. He never appeared to mind that you were shy, and he always adjusted how he interacted with you to make sure you were at ease, which was especially important given that you spend more than half of your time with guys. He always made sure you were comfortable, whether it was by ordering the boys to step aside when he knew you were too afraid to speak up or by leaving blue raspberry jolly ranchers on your desk when you weren't looking after noticing that you were thrilled to find a blue raspberry-flavored one day in a candy jar. He always shows you the greatest kindness, but you can never tell if it's because he likes you or is simply being nice. Even though you have the largest crush on him, your mind keeps tricking you and making you overly anxious to communicate with him more than half of the time you two speak. Despite your best efforts, it seems difficult for you to make a change.

“Y/N The team is heading back through the tunnel! We should make it back before they do tunnel shots.” Ricardo exclaims, giving you a small smile and then begins to jog towards the team tunnel. You give Ricardo a small smile as you nod your head, mentally thanking him for removing your focus from the picture of Sergio Ramos. 

Sergio Ramos looks up at the bleachers and waves to everyone before gazing straight, his smile widening as he spots you walking into the team tunnel. He takes off his shirt and slings it over his shoulder, the adrenaline pumping through his veins from the exhilaration he felt. He sees you gaze down at the camera and as you move towards the tunnel, he starts to lightly jog in your way. He hopes you would compliment him on his outstanding save. Thousands of voices in the stadium have undoubtedly already applauded him, but the only words that will truly resonate with him are those that come from your mouth. He has always had his sights set on you ever since you were hired. As he is frequently surrounded by pretentious models, something about your timidity makes him feel like you are a breath of "new air," which makes him feel compelled to protect you. There hasn't been enough talk between you and him to qualify as a conversation. While he sees you as a fragile flower, he is unsure about how to approach you. The majority of the time, he makes an effort to imply that he is interested in you by showing you small acts of kindness. Other times, though, he will playfully tease you because he enjoys seeing how you respond, whether it be with a smile or a blush to the cheeks.

You hum to yourself as you enter the tunnel, keeping your distance from the players by walking close against the wall. Ramos' voice can be heard saying "Hey Y/N!" as his arm is wrapped around your neck and rests on your shoulder. You flinch a little in surprise at what he does. Your heart beats fast as you swallow anxiously and look up. Your body begins to heat up as your eyes contact him, your eyes instantly scanning down to his tattooed, shirtless torso, which is gleaming with sweat. When you glance up into his eyes, he smiles and winks at you from above. He smirks and leans in to whisper into your ear, “Me desempeñé bien hoy porque sabía que estabas mirando (I performed so good today because I knew you were watching.)”  You let out a tiny laugh since you didn't know what to say or do. You look away as your brain begins to process how close you are to his bare chest, your heart is pounding rapidly as if it is going to burst out of your chest. You look around to try and find a way out of the circumstance you are now in, your breathing starts to get faster. Sergio obviously has no malicious intentions, but this is simply how your body responds. When he notices your irregular breathing, his smirk suddenly vanishes. "Y/N are you o-" he begins, but you hurriedly push his arm off your shoulder and move swiftly in the direction of the closest restroom. Ramos was unable to do anything but watch as you almost ran away from him, his joy leaving his body and being replaced with remorse.

And the fact that he did not see you for the rest of the evening only made him feel worse. 

Meanwhile, in the restroom, your smile never fades as you recover your breath before squealing. “Oh my gosh,” you mutter to yourself, "Oh my Gosh, I can't believe that just happened!” You start whispering as you begin to recount all that just occurred. “I performed so well today for you, Y/N.” "Oh?-" you exclaim as you put your hand on your chest, “-for me?... How sweet of you. Deberías mirar las fotos que tomé hoy, te ves tan sexy(You should look at the pictures I took today, you look so hot.)” You remember the warmth that radiated from his covered in sweat body and giggle as you put your hand on the shoulder that his arm was on. That may seem disgusting, but hey, Sergio Ramos is Sergio Ramos, so even that is acceptable. Your grin then fades as you realize you are in the restroom and you glance in the mirror. You ran away from him yet again. A few weeks ago, you made a vow to yourself that you would talk to him and return his flirtations, but once again, your feet move more quickly than your lips. You groan and run your hands through your hair, too ashamed to even step back outside to see him at this point. "Next time you better speak out!," you say, pointing in the mirror at yourself. “You can do this!" You sigh once more as you realize you must return outside in order to provide the pictures you took on the field to the social media department. You expected your next opportunity to come later that night, but as soon as you went out of the bathroom, you ran into the manager of the media department and immediately began assisting them with their needs. The following day was a rest day, so there was no team meeting. Yet, as the day of the next team practice drew near, he didn't approach you to chat as he typically does. He might occasionally wave or crack a little smile at you, but he hardly ever even blinked an eye at you. You were saddened by this because you assumed that since he now thought you were awkward, he had lost interest in you.

Days have passed, and it is now officially two weeks since your last 'regular' interaction with one another. The guys are practicing right now, and you're back in the restroom, trying to convince yourself that you can talk to him. You are holding your camera and are dressed in black leggings with a PSG windbreaker because it is a little chilly outside due to the wind. You're pacing back and forth while telling yourself, “Okay Y/N…. you can do this…. How hard can it be? You talk to people all the time…. Maybe you can practice with Ricardo first…” You bite your bottom lip, trying not to let your nerves get the best of you because you haven't even attempted anything. You sigh and check your watch, realizing that practice is about to end and that you should head back to the field right now to take any last-minute shots. You give yourself one final nod of approval before heading outdoors to the practice fields.

You go down the hallways, your eyes widen as you start to hear a lot of voices, and you start to walk quickly. Of course they end practice early the day I don't need them too, you think to yourself. You witness Ramos pouring water into his mouth outside, still without a shirt. You want to scream at the sight, but you decide against it and carry on walking. YAs you start to move, you are too preoccupied with your thoughts to notice that you are walking right toward him. “Y/N?” You become aware that you are once more in front of a shirtless Sergio Ramos when he asks a question.  Your mouth starts to open and close as if you are a fish out of water as you attempt to conceal the sound of your rapid heartbeat. Come on, say something! Your mouth starts to open and close as if you are a fish out of water as you attempt to conceal the sound of your rapid heartbeat. Come on, say something! Sergio Ramos observes your frozen state for a few seconds before smiling and shaking his head. Before leaving, he puts his palm on top of your head and slightly messes up your hair. As you turn around and watch him walk away, you are upset with yourself. This time you pushed back instead of giving in, even if your neck feels like it has been sewn shut. “Sergio!,” You call out to him. He swiftly turns around with a smile on his face as he realizes you are speaking to him first. He answers, "Yes?," back. You take a sharp breath and swallow, hoping to get rid of your nerves. “You s-should put on your shirt…. I-I don't want you getting sick.” "Alright," He nods and chuckles as he quickly pulls the practice jersey back over his head. With the last inner power you have at this moment, you approach him as he was putting his shirt back on. “Sergio, I also want to apologize,”  there is a brief pause as you glance down and start to play with your camera,“I know I don’t always show you how thankful I am for the things you do for me, but I truly am. It's just my inner thoughts getting the best of me, and I believe that if I don't know what to say- then you shouldn't say anything at all.. I'm so-" "Y/N, you don't need to apologize," Ramos interrupts you and says,  “I should've never made you feel uncomfortable by invading your personal space last game… I just didn’t know how to apologize to you so I did what I thought was best and kept my distance in hopes that it made you feel better.” You give him a puzzled expression. "I didn't feel uncomfortable at all; I just responded that way because you were too hot to handle."   Your lips are swiftly covered with your free hand as you think to yourself, there is no freaking way I just said that. Your eyes widen. Ramos' eyes light up with amusement as he approaches you, hoping to taunt you a little,"Oh yeah? So, am I too hot to handle, or did you really want me to put on my shirt because you didn't want me to get sick?” You use your hand to conceal your face as much as you can because your other hand is still holding the camera. Ramos wraps his arm around you and gives you a big bear embrace as he laughs at the sight of you feeling embarrassed. "I'm sorry, Y/N, but you are just too cute. I can't help but to mess with you a little." He glances down, but all he can see is the top of your head as you continue to mentally swear yourself out and conclude it's better to remain silent. "How about we go eat ice cream and I meet you in front of the staff housing in about two hours? He asks as he begins to rock you back and forth, "¿Eso te haría sentir mejor? (Would that make you feel better?)” He smiles once he feels you nod your head against his chest.“Great! Then it's a date.” "¿E-espera qué?(W-wait what?)" you ask, raising your head to look up at him, your chin pressing against his chest. He simply winks and releases his hold on you. "I'll see you later, princesa (princess)," he says as he turns to walk away. All you could do was look in disbelief because your brain was unable to comprehend what had just transpired. 

The one time you speak first, you get a date with your biggest crush. I suppose there are some risks that are worthwhile.

A/N: Part 2 with the ice cream date, maybe? c;

[becauseimanicequeen]

4 Minutes Theories (Ep. 5)

In this post, I've compiled my theories from my initial reaction to the trailer and the teaser (which were kind of sweeping since the trailer and teaser didn't give me much to get super detailed about), the new ones I've written down after watching new episodes (episode 1, episode 2, episode 3, and episode 4), and some new wild-ass theories I've written in some scattered posts.

Just like last week, I will go through my theories one by one. Let's see how wrong I am this time, and how (un)likely the other theories are. Like last time, I might develop some of my theories and add some new ones as well.

Let's go!

Pre-premiere theory: The moments Great sees ahead of time are moments that might help him redeem himself from a past mistake/transgression. (Unconfirmed)

The first two episodes seemed to have a pattern where the 4-minute phenomenons (4MP) seemed to be moments for Great to do better or do "the right thing".

In the 3rd episode, though, it seemed like the 4MP pushed Great to tell Tyme that he could see 4 minutes into the future (with proof to make Tyme believe him). Perhaps it was to move things forward faster.

Then, in last week's episode, both 4MPs pushed Great to make braver decisions (offering to help Nan escape and stopping Samarn from shooting her), which made it seem like it was about character growth for Great.

His 4MP in this week's episode was a bit different than the previous ones. It seemed more forced than offering him a choice to do things differently. And I'm not even sure it was a full 4-minute jump (didn't it feel shorter?).

Interestingly, though, it felt like a self-fulfilling prophecy of some kind since Manee, who Great saved in his first 4MP, was behind the hired gunman who shot him (and his mom).

No matter what Great changed this time around, he would still end up at the hospital.

So...

As someone who believed Great's changes wouldn't have an effect on the outcome, I was pleased with what happened in this episode.

With that said, though, I'm keeping this theory for now since more info about this might come up in coming episodes.

There's a big chance I'll never get a real answer to this theory, but I don't mind marking it as failed if I don't. So, beloved show, prove me wrong... or right... or don't give me an answer at all... I'm fine with either.

Revised/developed pre-premiere theory: Korn will do some shady shit to prove to his dad that he can take over the family business. (Unconfirmed)

Korn is sinking deeper and deeper in the shit, and I'm waiting for the moment when he'll sink 6 feet under.

I've mentioned this in the previous posts; he's already done some semi-shady shit to keep his position in the family business, but I need more to mark this theory as confirmed.

I'm also curious to see what he will do now that he stormed out of his dad's office after getting slapped.

There's a dormant beast inside of Korn, I'm sure. I'm just waiting for it to wake up.

Pre-premiere theory: Title is involved with Korn. (Unconfirmed)

Before watching the first episode, I thought Title might've been a brother or that they had a boss/minion relationship (based on the similarities in their posters). But, Title is (most likely) not Korn's brother (but who knows how far Korn's dad has spread his seed...).

Since I got a hunch before the 4th episode that Title might be Fasai's brother and that his dad, then, is Police Colonel Warit, a connection might soon be revealed (especially if Title turns up dead). How will Korn react if Title is Fasai's brother and he shows up dead?

Should I specify something to make it harder for myself to get this theory right?

Well, why not?

Let's say that I will only mark this as confirmed if Title turns out to be Fasai's brother (which is his semi-connection to Korn) and if Korn gets involved in finding Title's kidnapper/killer (depending on what Tonkla does now that he's got his hands on Title).

So... I'm keeping this theory for now.

Revised/developed pre-premiere theory: Tonkla is at the center of it all. (Unconfirmed)

This theory was based on the background of the poster for Fuaiz/Tonkla. At first, I thought he had a target on his back (which could still be true considering he got his hands on Title now), but it's developed more into Tonkla being at the center of this whole thing.

After last week's episode, I felt like Tonkla might be the key to everything. What if his background is something like a spider's web rather than a target, and that he's at the center of it?

Perhaps because his timeline seems to be the real one, even though it seems like Great's changes started to merge with Tonkla's timeline in the 4th episode. But then there's also the cat that showed up at Tonkla's place (which was definitely killed way before Great started having his 4MPs).

So, unless that was a completely different cat Tonkla saw (because the one he saw didn't have the red collar on it, btw), perhaps Tonkla is the whole reason all of this is happening. I mean, he found the info about Title murdering his brother in some way (which might be through Win, or through talking to his dead brother, or because he has a time-traveling ability of his own, or... let's just stop...).

Anyway, I'm keeping this theory because Tonkla definitely feels like the key at this point.

Pre-ep. 2 theory: Tonkla will betray Korn. (Unconfirmed)

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I'm rooting for a betrayal. I don't really care if Tonkla reveals all of Korn's dirty laundry to Win or if he ends up beating the shit out of Korn with a rock. I just want him to fuck shit up.

Pre-premiere theory: Win is battling some contrasting, opposing forces (internal and/or external). (Unconfirmed)

This theory was based on the background of the poster for JJay/Win. I solely based it on the red and green contrasting colors.

Ever since it was revealed that Win works for the police, I've had the feeling that the contrasting forces he's battling are his attachment/feelings for Tonkla and his duty to uphold the law.

He's already struggling, but I need more to label this theory as confirmed.

Pre-premiere theory: Den has a situationship with Korn. (Unconfirmed)

I'm not keeping this theory because I want Korn and Den together (Den is too sweet for the dude with the daddy issues and two situationships already on his plate).

I'm keeping this theory only because I want to see Bas and Job together. This is such a delulu wish of mine, and I will keep being delulu about this until I get it. (And probably still when there's not even a snowball's chance in hell that they'll hook up. I'm still on my "Non is alive" agenda, so I can keep this alive forever, lmao.)

Pre-premiere theory: Fasai is the other character with a condition similar to Great’s. (Unconfirmed)

This won't happen (since the character they talked about in the trailer, which was where I got this theory from, was Lukwa). The only reason I'm keeping this theory is because I need the show to prove to me that Fasai doesn't have precognitive abilities so I can label this as wrong and move on.

But, thank you for giving me more of Fasai in this week's episode. It was short, but it was sweet. Keep it up, because I need more of Natty on my screen!

Pre-ep. 3 theory: Tyme has a precognitive ability similar to Great’s (or might develop one). (Unconfirmed)

I've been dilly-dallying about this since I saw the trailer. That's only because I believe it one second only to not believe it the next.

(This is a good example of how this show is fucking with my head. I love it, even though it's annoying. But it seems like I love annoying, so I only have myself to blame, lol.)

And now that Great is shot and in the hospital, I feel like we're going to get Tyme's OOBE timeline (which I've been waiting for). The question is if he's going to go back in time and start this loop over again (I mean, that last scene with the camera spinning as he was running through that place with the blinking lights might've sent him back in time, right? It looked like he was running through a wormhole or something, lol.).

If that's true, we'll get to see things from his perspective rather than Great's (which might explain why there's a moment in the trailer when Great is asking Tyme if he's following him).

So, now that he has his OOBE timeline, will his "advantage" be a procognitive ability, or will he just keep his memories from Great's OOBE timeline?

Questions, questions...

Revised/developed pre-premiere theory: Great is having an out-of-body experience. (Unconfirmed)

I previously called this theory a "dream world" after watching the trailer and teaser, but an out-of-body experience (OOBE) is a much better description of it.

I think I'm right about this, even though it could be Tyme's OOBE the whole time as well. But I'm pretty sure it's both of them. So...

I'm keeping this until proven right or wrong.

Pre-ep. 2 theory: Great's visions of himself and Tyme are his present self's memories of their time together. (Unconfirmed)

This is based on the OOBE theory being true. But this theory seems pretty obvious to me if the theory about Great having an OOBE is true.

I need it confirmed, though.

Revised/developed wild-ass pre-ep. 2 theory: Tyme is having his own out-of-body experience. (Unconfirmed)

I've had the theory that Tyme also has a near-death/out-of-body experience since after watching the 1st episode, but I developed it last week while thinking about what Den's patients were saying.

I don't think this is any less true considering that last scene in this week's episode.

Based on Den's research and the different versions we heard his patients talk about, it could be that:

Great is having the OOBE with the 4-minute phenomenon (which is what Den called it in his research).

Tyme is having the OOBE with the people all dressed in white (even though he doesn't seem like a religious person like the lady who talked about this version).

(There might be a possible third character who might have the OOBE where everything is black and they don't feel, see, or hear anything. Maybe Korn? Or Win? Or perhaps even Tonkla who also sees things that he "shouldn't" be able to see?)

This theory could be possible, so, perhaps it's not that wild after all...

Revised/developed pre-premiere theory: Fasai has a connection with Korn. (Confirmed)

Two weeks ago, I wrote that I would only confirm this theory if I could guess what kind of relationship they have (or half-confirm it since they clearly have some sort of connection).

I was right that they weren't engaged or married.

My guess was that they had a situationship going on. Fasai got the pleasure of power/domination (perhaps something else as well?) while Korn got access to a higher standing, more money, more support, more prestige, etc. Considering they basically confirmed that Korn comes to her when he has problems to solve, I could confirm this theory and be done with it.

But, should I? Do I need more confirmation? Should I keep the door open for this to potentially fall apart?

To confirm or not confirm, that's the question...

Fine, I'll confirm this theory and be done with it.

Pre-ep. 3 theory: Fasai (and/or her father) is in league with someone within the police force. (Unconfirmed)

This was actually confirmed a couple of weeks ago as I was double-checking the name of one of the characters on MDL.

It turns out Fasai's dad is the Police Colonel Warit. So, I'm kind of right.

But!

I won't confirm this theory until I see him abuse his power by, for example, making sure the police do something in his favor. Perhaps it will happen now that Title (who I believe is Fasai's brother and, therefore, the Police Colonel's son) is kidnapped/soon to be killed by Tonkla.

I need to hear about it or see it happen. So, I'm keeping this theory unconfirmed for now.

Pre-ep. 3 theory: There are different timelines at play. (Unconfirmed)

Well, this one is pretty obvious, right? I've also written a long ass post about my thoughts on the timelines that I keep adding to each week (or whenever I feel like it).

To summarize, I think there are:

The present timeline

The 4-minute timeline (previously called the OOBE timeline), which is where Great changes the events based on his precognitive ability

And the real past/Tonkla's timeline

I'm also super excited to see if we're going to get Tyme's OOBE now.

I probably won't confirm this theory until the show ends because I want to keep speculating about it. And I might not confirm it until I have at least the majority of the options above confirmed (the present, the 4MP, the real past/Tonkla's timeline, and Tyme's OOBE timeline).

Let's see how wrong I am about this (even though I'm pretty sure I am, at the very least, onto something).

Pre-premiere theory: Great’s (Bible’s) tattoos have something to do with the story. (Because I refuse to believe otherwise! lol) (Unconfirmed)

I don't think this is true. However...

Just like I wrote last week (and the week before, and the week before that): I swear I'm keeping this theory because it hasn't been confirmed (or denied), yet. That's the only reason I'm keeping this theory.

I swear I'm not keeping this theory to add this image to at least one post I write each week...

Pre-premiere theory: Great becomes Korn’s target because he can see ahead of time. (Scrapped)

I will scrap this theory because I don't think it will happen now that Great is shot and in the hospital.

Pre-ep. 2 theory: Great has a cardiac arrest/near-death experience at 11:00. (Unconfirmed)

This probably won't be confirmed until Great wakes up in the present (if he wakes up) or if we get another glimpse of the present as he's flatlining.

Unless I've been wrong about this the whole time...

In that case, I'll gladly move this theory into my failed/scrapped category (where most, if not all the others, will end up, lol).

Also...

Pre-ep. 3 theory: Great has 4 minutes to wake up/get his heart to start beating again. (Unconfirmed)

Great has 4 minutes (well, after the 5th episode, it's only 1 minute left) to wake up/get his heart to start beating again in the present before his brain gets damaged.

The interesting thing in this week's episode was that it also seemed like Great's flashback, as he lay there shot, indicated that the clock was progressing the more involved with Tyme he got.

It started at 11:01 after he gave Tyme his Line account.

Then 11:02 after their claw-machine date.

And 11:03 after they had sex.

Did he seal his own fate (his death) the closer he got to Tyme? Or was that inevitable while it's now up to Tyme to make sure Great wakes up before he dies?

Questions, questions...

Revised/developed pre-ep. 3 theory: Tyme is looking into the illegal gambling sites because his family fell victim to either them or Great's dad. (Confirmed)

We can call this confirmed now, right? Considering what Tyme told Great about his past.

Even if this just happened inside Great's head during his OOBE, he must've found this out in the real past as well, right?

Anyway... I'm marking this as confirmed.

Pre-ep. 3 theory: Tyme is getting close to Great because of Great's family and their connection to the illegal gambling sites. (Unconfirmed)

You know, this depends on what timeline I'm looking at. It probably happened in the real past. Perhaps that was Tyme's initial intention in Great's 4MP timeline as well. And perhaps it will be his intention if he is sent back in time now that it's his turn to (what I believe is his turn to) have his own OOBE timeline.

I don't know...

Maybe I should keep this a little longer just to make sure.

Pre-premiere theory: Someone will die/fake their death. (Unconfirmed)

As I wrote in the previous posts in this series on my 4 Minutes theories, this theory was pretty obvious from the start. Sammon kills characters all the time, lol.

But, I also mentioned in one of the previous posts that I won't confirm this theory until one of the major characters dies. And that's excluding Great and Tyme.

Technically, Dome has already been killed by Title. It's even been confirmed now that we've seen that he is Tonkla's brother and was killed (in the real past). But, I need more.

I've previously speculated on who would be killed and wrote Dome, Title, and perhaps Korn, which I still stand by.

Title might/will be axed soon. As soon as he is (or Korn is), I'll mark this theory as confirmed.

Pre-ep. 4 theory: Great's actions during his OOBE won't change anything in the present. (Unconfirmed)

I want Great to wake up and face the consequences of whatever he did (or didn't do) in the real past.

I would much rather have Great's OOBE be a learning experience for him and/or give him some information that will be vital for the future than have his OOBE magically change his current situation.

Pre-ep. 4 theory: The note saying "Can you forgive me, Great?" is written by the mystery woman in the gallery. (Unconfirmed)

I had this theory last week.

Did I base this on the tea being red and the woman (who we now know is Lukwa) sitting in a red gallery? Yes. Am I really admitting that I'm crazy like that? I mean... there's no point in hiding it.

Pre-ep. 5 theory: The bodies the police find are the people who died in the real past. (Unconfirmed)

Before the 4th episode of 4 Minutes, we saw two murders (if we exclude whatever Tonkla did in that cold opening in ep 2); Dome and the shareholder with the red umbrella.

Before the 4th episode, they also found two bodies.

Then we saw Samarn kill Nan in the 4th episode. Will the police find another body by that lighthouse soon?

Wild-ass pre-ep. 2 theory: Great will get Tyme's heart (after Tyme is shot). (Unconfirmed)

This is not the Transplant I want, btw. But it might be possible.

(Disclaimer: I'm not a medical professional. I have no idea if this is medically possible considering where Tyme was shot and how far he might be from a hospital (since I know a body needs to be hooked up to a ventilator to be able to keep the organs alive if organ donations are to be possible). So, excuse my lively imagination, lol.)

I will develop this theory in a separate post (hopefully). I just have a feeling that we're sometimes getting a Last Christmas kind of thing, and I have so much to say about it (even though most of it will never happen, lol).

Wild-ass pre-ep. 3 theory: The number 4 marks a character with death. (Unconfirmed)

The number 4 (which in Cantonese is pronounced very similarly to the word "death") marks characters with death. Either actual death or something like a cardiac arrest (which can be saved).

Those characters are:

The patient at the beginning of the 1st episode who has a cardiac arrest. (I still believe this is Great, even though the bandages are on the same places where Tyme was injured.)

Great, who is surrounded by the number several times during his OOBE.

Manee, who is lying in room number 4 at the hospital.

View, Title, and Dome who are near the 4 on the trashcan in the 2nd episode. (It might just be one or it might be all three, my guess is all three.)

The elderly lady in bed 4 that Great had intubated even though Den said it might've been more humane to let her die.

And Tyme who is around the number several times at the hospital and on the escalator when he and Great were at the shopping mall.

Also, since I clearly believe the show is playing with several timelines, the number 4 might signify the characters that died in the real past/present:

Great, who was shot in this week's episode and who flatlines in the 1st episode (even though that might technically be in the present)

Tyme who was also shot

Manee, who Great hit and left to die

View, who might've been killed by Title if Great hadn't helped her escape from him?

Dome, who would've been killed if Great hadn't stopped Title

Title, who still has time to die (most likely murdered by Tonkla)

And the elderly lady in bed number 4 who will, most likely, die because of her illness

Let's see how wrong I am about this.

Well, that's it. I don't have any additional theories this week. At least not right now...

Results so far:

Total theories since the trailer: 36

Confirmed theories: 4.5

Unconfirmed theories: 24.5

Wrong/scrapped theories: 7

New theories after ep 5: 0

[notbecauseofvictories]

Halloween Week of Horror (Games)

It's that time of year, and as someone who (a) loves horror, but (b) hasn't had much of an appetite lately for full-length horror films, I've been struggling to find a way to embrace spooky season. Then I hit on it---text-based games!

Even I, a known video game hater, love a good text-based game. Half poetry, half clicking, and all artistry, they're one of the great, underdiscussed treasures of the modern internet. Therefore, come join me for a week of indie horror "games" about haunted houses, ghosts, secrets kept, and also Mary Toft.

My list of games is cribbed from this post and this post.

DAY 1: childhood homes (and why we hate them), vacant, i am still here, flesh, blood, & concrete, domvs

childhood homes (and why we hate them) 

after a decade, you return home

Starting with this particular game was ingenious---it plays to exactly my weaknesses: poetry, unreliable narrators, unhappy families, and the house as locus of memory/witness to horror/horror in itself.

That being said, I feel like this would reward subsequent walkthroughs even more. I took it too quickly, wanted to rush to the end when there’s too much ambiguity for that. Did Lottie kill her father? Is the house still whole and there, even after all these years, or is that a fever dream? How long was her returning? Is she there still? (....and given the mention of the house being a “second son” are we meant to understand that Lottie is trans?) I also played “my brother; the parasite” from this same creator, and would say it's even better---that kind of identity/body horror ambiguity, wrapped up in twisted maybe-love, maybe-hate, is very much my speed.

SPOOKY LEVEL: 6/10, though it's largely uncanny and reality-bending rather than actively frightening

OVERALL GRADE: A-

vacant 

Film a ghost-hunting show.

Of all the games on this list, this one felt the most lived in, the most normal-devolving-into-horror. The set-up is reasonably familiar: you are a camera woman hired at the last minute to help a ghost-hunter with her local shoot. You meet her out in what seems to be the middle of nowhere, explore an abandoned hotel that was home to some weird stuff (cults, mysterious disappearances, more than one death), crack some sarcastic jokes---

Unfortunately, it gets even weirder at that point.

Despite getting tripped up on some of the mechanics (it took me too long to figure out that there was another room on the main level) this ended up being haunting, resisting easy answers. The sudden randomness of the violence bursts through, and the ending in particular is sharp, lovely, and even more unsettling.

SPOOKY LEVEL: 4/10, aside from some sudden noises (things breaking, etc.) the horror is largely atmospheric

OVERALL GRADE: B

i am still here 

a short, unconventional ghost story and vignette reflecting on the end of a long lockdown.

Unlike some of the other entries on this list, this is not a horror game at all. Perhaps a little uncanny, since it's just you---a purple thing on a screen---wandering around a pandemic-emptied Melbourne, musing about the way the world has changed. Still, as someone who did live through lockdown, it was surprising affective.

Brief, but moving. When the screen fades to teal blue, and it’s just the ambient noise of a small pond? That was lovely.

SPOOKY LEVEL: 0/10

OVERALL GRADE: B

flesh, blood, & concrete

you find yourself in a vast, empty apartment complex.

I have gone back and forth on this one. On one hand, the central story is affective---the main character's car runs out of gas in an unnamed town, in the middle of a snow storm; she finds help in a strange apartment complex, seemingly abandoned except for a lone girl, and her "parents." The more you explore the complex, the more you reveal about the woman's intentions, and the more uncanny, unworldly, the scenery becomes.

(I would have given anything to “see” the scenes of destruction, decay and otherworldliness in full color---even in 24-bit, they were lovely.)

On the other hand, the concept and the worldbuilding had such potential that the "frame" story (a little boy, sent out to play in the snow) and the ending came as something of a let-down? Or...maybe not the ending itself (a melancholy, depressed woman driving off into the snow and being swallowed alive by meat that is love---that's a good story) but the framing device made no sense. And why could you collect items if the aim is to surrender to that powerful, overall lure?

Still, I think the replay value here would be immense. Scrolling through the comments afterwards, there are a lot of people who got very different endings, so it's a game that rewards that exploratory path.

SPOOKY LEVEL: 6/10, and mostly for body horror (meat/blood) and uncanny worldbuilding

OVERALL GRADE: B+

domvs 

a gothic mystery game in which you rely on your environment to uncover the truth.

A lovely little story, where you play madlibs and discover why an unnamed hero chose to sell their soul to the devil—and the thing it makes them into, the tragedy that finds them regardless. One of the shorter entries on this list, and less a game than wandering through an abandoned house to admire its poetry.

Also, I loved the Latin. More games should incorporate Latin.

SPOOKY LEVEL: 2/10

OVERALL GRADE: B

[charmwasjess]

So, let's say George Lucas was more self aware producing/directing the prequels and hired you to reign him in/keep him on track. How would the prequels be different?

What a fucking FUN question. :D I've been chewing over this in my inbox for a couple days.

Honestly you couldn't pay me enough to write for Star Wars, and that's not just because I'd be fired on my second day for making it so gay. I think there absolutely are problems in the prequels, but I also think no matter what films they made, it was going to be a difficult tango of trying to keep an existing fanbase happy while attracting new ones, doing the old story homage but also not just retreading stale territory, and the fact that an entire generation came up with headcanons for what the Clone Wars or young Obi-Wan or Vader was like in that era, and no matter what you do, someone was going to be disappointed.

I also have a ton of sympathy for Star Wars writers in general - I see stories like Mike Chen who wrote the Brotherhood novel having to get the book together in three months over 11 drafts or the Rebels writers working unpaid nights and weekends to try to land the story they loved decently because they weren't given enough time or money. I don't know what it's like to write or create content for Lucasfilm, but I can't help but think of Warren Fu, who created the iconic General Grievous design for Lucas, later drawing himself as Sifo-Dyas being drained of blood to create Grievous. The metaphor he chose there is, um, interesting, to say the least, and I wonder how it reflects on his time at Lucasfilm. I see these anecdotes all the time of writers and creators working incredibly hard for little money or recognition and then their passion project gets changed or sidelined by the powers that be within the franchise.

ANYWAY THAT SAID HERE'S HOW I'D FIX THE PREQUELS- I think it's really a matter of redrafting what's there because so much of it is really good and has great potential. I just rewatched the Phantom Menace, so that's on my mind. Yeah, I remember being little enough that Jar Jar Binks was funny to me - I love Ahmed Best - but having just rewatched it, Jar Jar gets a ton of screentime and that could be better balanced. AND oofa-doofa, the racist accents/stereotypes. Cut cut cut. Rework.

Otherwise, I think there's a tendency - and some of it was the popular movie tropes at the time the films were going out - to rely on Idiot Plot. OOPS, Anakin didn't mean to go to the big space battle!!! He just won the day on accident!! To a lesser degree, many other characters make it through the movie by just sort of guessing and lucking their way into it as a narrative choice. Just going by the fact that the films need to be about the good guys losing because it's a prequel for a saga with no Jedi, I'd like a little bit more agency for them. More moments of saying "yes, I want to do this" and less "wow, what the hell is going on?!"

The other big change I'd make is give Obi-Wan a much larger role in the Phantom Menace, and Padme a bigger part in both AotC and especially RotS. (Actually, she really kicks ass in TPM. That moment where she shoots through the window and the duel of the fates music swells? Ascension guns!! I'm getting goosebumps just thinking about it.) I think Anakin is the most sympathetic when he's seen through the eyes of characters who love him and vouch for him. And Obi-Wan is honestly barely in TPM - it's all Qui-Gon, who I love, but I could see the film being really successful through him as our perspective/focus character instead. The way that Luke Skywalker takes us with him on this adventure and shows us the story. Obi-Wan could do that very effectively. And as much as the prequels are about Anakin's fall, they're also ultimately a story of Obi-Wan's survival.

And I'd cut Count Dooku, for no reason other than I don't like how weird I got about that guy.

[laylawatermelon]

Please please read this and give it some love but I had an inkling of this feeling but never mentioned it cause I thought it was absurd.

Basically its a tweet of a reddit post (inception ik) basically of how Tim is basically rewriting the characters back to the way they were.

More below 👇🏾

Everyone's been mentioning how the characters have been more in character and the actors are happy and that makes sense.

He's been making them more in character than they ever were.

And with the Buddie situation (yes not everything is about them but i am a buddie fan who happened to find and grow to love this show because of it) it makes the most sense.

Now that Oliver mentioned the love story and everyone assumed it was the shooting and being in live it made the most sense.

Who else was he going to be falling in love woth at the time? It surely wasn't Taylor. Their romantic relationship was always doomed to fail and it was a great friendship they had (ehhh sideye for Bobby situation and Jonah eventually) that lasted if they weren't too persnally involved in each others lives.

She'd have been a perfect friend for him to gossip about the drama at the 118 (not work cause you know she'd make a story). That relationship wasn't going to work. He's too honest and she's too opportunisic.

If it hadn't been Jonah it'd be something else and he'd feel the same sense of betrayal (also Buck kissing Lucy was betrayal but that also felt a lil like assult cause she got him reallllly drunk and if the roles were reversed people wouldn't be that enthusiastic about it).

The only other love story that's been written logically as a will they won't they tragic and emotionally complex story is Buck and Eddie's.

Season 2 he replaced his love intrest! Like come on!

But in all seriousness, the Ana breakup and ll the vague dollow your heart is basically being rehashed.

I remember someone mentioning that Marisol is just another Ana (whoever you are if you see this send me hit I'll put it in here) and that's actually true.

Yay Marisol no last name haters your time has arrived cause it's official she's done!

There's no worry because we're getting a conclusion on the fact that was supposed to happen years ago.

She's not a permanent structure.

This storyline can go two ways.

One Buddie confirmed season 8.

Or two, Eddie realizes what his family could look like and its a single parent home with a support system from work (and Buck but we're gonna just gloss over that for now).

Meta linked above I just talked about Eddie and its coming to fruition (hire me abc im getting better at screenwriting!).

For the first one it's juicy storytelling.

For the other it makes sense as development for Eddie becoming comfortable with himself apart from his identity as a husband/widower, son, Catholic, and father.

He'll learn to bebhimself which he hadn't had the opportunity to do as he had fell into adulthood with his kid and then added on having a child with a disability that needs a lot of monetary support he ended up losing the chance to figure out who he is without all of that.

Even if it's not romantic (😔) it's great for him to realize he doesn't really need to be with anyone or fulfill a role he's not ready or willing to fill due to duty.

He can just be a father and work it iut that way.

Chris only wants his dad happy and I sense he knows his dad isn't happy at times or even worse he's not happy but is pretending so that his dad can be happy as he feels he has to give him that space/approval.

Chris is getting a storyline and he's always been observant so he'll most likely either explode in his feelings and tell his dad or tell him in a misunderstanding (he is getting to be a moody teen after all it's not going to be an adult reaction).

He's been close to death, heard his dad lose it and loat his mom. He's more mature than people give him credit for but the story hadn't included him much recently so we'll just have to see.

[moosekateer13]

Chapter 1: The Prophecy

Y/N’s Three-Story Bold Red Trim House

Romantic love is nothing but a myth. I was a product of high school sweethearts. My dad swore he’d never leave her but after the stick turned positive. He ran and never looked back. I had my mom for a wonderful 10 years but a drunk driver took her away from me at the tender age of 10.  Mom left money for me in a trust I could access once I turned 18. She also left me another thing, my dad's name and an address. One of the police officers who showed up the day of the crash drove me to his house.

Royden Lubic slammed his mansion door in my face and went about his merry way. 

I've been on my own ever since. I grew up in the foster system where I was never adopted.  People took me in for a short time but never kept me.  They claimed I was too traumatized to handle. What do you expect? I'm always going to have issues.  Who wouldn't after losing a parent at that age?

Life has never been good to me. I've only had two good things in my life, one that I only had for 3 years. I bounce my 3-year-old son on my knee thinking for a moment about his father and my late fiance Arthur Digby. He was killed in a targeted shooting while he was on his way to his job. It turns out his business was sinking, and he was past due on the payments. Arthur never was one to check things over carefully before getting into things. I had everything all ready to tell him the big news about him becoming a father but I never got the chance to.

Jude Frost Digby the son he never got to meet. He was born in the winter and shared his father’s ice-blue eyes. That's why his middle name is Frost.

Humming Hey Jude always seems to calm him down so fitting. Oh, looks like someone is getting sleepy I should put him in his bed.

Once he's all tucked in, I get back to working on my latest podcast episode for Torn Veil.

It's a podcast about divorces or almost weddings that ended/didn't happen because of strange uncovered secrets. On rare occasions, it's about people losing their loved ones in accidents.

A phone call interrupts my thoughts. It's Rosedale Ravishing Catering the cater my friend Holy hired for her wedding. We met through my podcast. Her wedding didn't happen because she caught him fooling around with her mother during her engagement party.

I have yet to meet the person she will marry now. Holy won't tell me. Even with my misgivings for love, she wanted me to help plan her wedding.  

I answer

“Yeah, I can come look at the menu. I'll be there soon. I've got to get someone to come watch my son first.” I replied. Not wanting to stay on the line for longer than I have to.

I quickly text Arthur’s mom after ending the call. So she and his dad can come to look after Jude.

Once they arrive, I quickly drive over to the catering company.

It is a gorgeous old blue ranch house that was converted into a catering company. 

I see what I presume is the owner and when he turns around. I feel like my heart just stopped. It's Jared Padalecki, my favourite. I heard rumours he had started his own catering company after Supernatural and Walker finished but I thought it wasn't true. I presumed it was just rumours.

 “Excuse me, can I help you?” Jared asked.

“Yeah, I am here to look over the menu for Holy’s wedding. I received a call earlier.” I choked out. I barely got the words out. His multi-spectrum hazel eyes scan over me. Now I'm wishing I had time to dress better. I just threw on a white tee shirt and my old brown hoodie with worn-out jeans.

He comes over close to my ear.

“Am I making you nervous darlin’. Jared murmured.

I feel a thrill down my spine and my heart skips a beat.

He steps back a bit and motions for me to follow him.

Jared is such a tease. How am I going to get through with planning this wedding?

Chapter 2:

[itsclydebitches]

When Trent asks about writing the book and everyone is frantically getting Ted to say no literally behind Trent's back, do you think Trent knew what they were doing?

I do! On both a textual and a "realistic" level.

Meaning, if this were an irl scenario their reactions would be pretty hard to miss. Not only are Rebecca, Higgins, and Keeley saying 'No' with gestures grand enough to draw any eye, but Ted keeps shooting them very obvious "I'm uncomfortable with what they're doing over there" looks. As much as the Tedependent lizard part of my brain likes to read Trent's stare in this moment as heart eyes and heart eyes alone—why would he want to look at anything other than Ted??—I think, under the circumstances, it reads more like him deliberately staring to give Ted as much agency as he can in the moment. If Trent catches the others in their lies + insulting "Get him out of here" display, that puts him in the position of the victim, for lack of a better word. Ted then feels super guilty and he says "Yes" to Trent as a way to try and smooth things over. Trent doesn't want that. He wants to be here because Ted wants him here and though he can't control the others potentially influencing him, he can control his own reaction to the events: keep calm, open expression, non-judgmental, don't beg for it... just let Ted decide on his own.

However, to get back to the point about realistic scenarios, this is a comedy-drama where the characters often don't engage in realistic reactions. Emotions and responses are often deliberately exaggerated for the sake of comedic effect, so they definitely could have made Trent an Oblivious™ character who somehow misses the three people losing their minds right beside him and isn't that funny to watch? But I personally don't think Trent is that character. The show has never shied away from acknowledging what an ass he's been (see: his entire relationship with Roy) and Trent is more than aware of that reputation. He's cultivated it. There's really no version of these circumstances in which a very intelligent, emotionally aware Trent Crimm goes, "Hmm. I'm going to try and write a book about Richmond, the team made up of footballers who have avoided and cursed me out for years, a gaffer I threw to the proverbial wolves, and an owner who once hired me BECAUSE she knew I tear people to shreds in print. Besides, everyone loves having the press dog their steps for a season and then judge them in a permanent medium! Everyone's gonna be thrilled about this offer." Uh huh. Trent knows. He's not stupid. He's actually lucky that Rebecca went the polite route and passed the responsibility onto Ted Forgiveness Lasso. Ted's superhuman optimism was the very opening Trent needed.

Plus, I think Trent's knowledge of how he's really being received is shown throughout his first few weeks there. It's telling that Trent engages in a reversal of what's just been done to him, wherein he calls Rebecca out on why she really wants Zava: he can tell when she's lying and he knows when others in the room—this time Keeley, Higgins, and Ted—are trying to sway someone. Trent is already nervous when he walks into the changing room (you can see his fingers fluttering in his pocket) and he's a little shocked, but not surprised when Roy puts a ban on anyone speaking to him. We have that running joke of people going, "Don't put that in the book," the first instance of which is in Rebecca's office right after he's hired, yet again, there's no surprise along the lines of, "You're concerned about what I'm including? This is making you nervous, Rebecca? Why? I thought you wanted me here and the only thing keeping you from saying yes on the spot was respect for Ted and a belief that he should have the final call? 🤔" This girl was under NO delusions about how everyone was really receiving him. This is the face of a man who is very deliberately NOT looking behind him.

[invisibleraven]

11. Of course I know the way you like your coffee. Reggie/Carrie please.

"Okay, we've got the Today Show at eight, and the Cosmo photo shoot right before lunch. This afternoon we've got your live stream for your channel and this evening there's a benefit for Save The Children," reggie outlined as he and Carrie walked from the apartment to the town car.

"Ugh, sounds like an insanely long day," Carrie groaned. "I'm gonna need a triple shot-"

"Hazelnut latte with extra foam, caramel drizzle, and extra hot, I know," Reggie finished. When Carrie looked at him he snorted. "Carrie I've been your manager for over a year, of course I know the way you like your coffee."

"Yeah but it sounds so extra when I heard someone else say it," Carrie replied.

Reggie shrugged. "I've heard worse, and you like what you like. Now I've got everything sent to Kayla's phone so she can keep up with it while I go get you some java, but message me if you need anything before then."

"You're the best," Carrie stated, giving him an air kiss before getting in the car and driving off. Honestly she didn't know how she survived without Reggie-he kept her life and crazy schedule organized. Before him she had tried to go on her own for awhile after suffering through a handful of awful managers who didn't have her best interests in mind.

Maybe it was crazy to hire her best friend to manage her, but she knew he would always put her first, before any deal, sponsorship, and song. He would make sure she wasn't too overbooked or burned out to keep going.

Plus where Reggie had a music background, he could help her flush out songs, she could bounce ideas off of him, and he could throw ideas to her as well, enhancing her sound and making her even better.

She got through her day-thanks in part to the coffee Reggie got her, and the lunch he arranged for her and the crew. Honestly everything that he did for here-and the gratefulness washed over her.

And maybe a feeling that had always kind of been there-simmering beneath the surface that she never dared act on. Maybe it was time she changed that...

"Hey Care Bear, ready to go over tomorrow?" Reggie asked her as they hung out on her couch over take out Thai.

"Please tell me it's lighter than today was," Carrie groaned.

"Afraid not, but I can shift some stuff around to later the week if you need," Reggie offered.

"I think I need a Carrie and Reggie day where we can just veg out, enjoy something trashy, and not have to worry about appearances or obligations," Carrie confessed.

Reggie hummed, pulling up her schedule and typing a little bit. "Okay, how's Friday? The only thing I can't get you out of is the movie premiere for Kayla's new flick, but otherwise we can totes have a best friend day."

"Sounds perfect," Carrie sighed. "And you can come to the movie with me, it'll be way more fun with you."

"What about Nick?" Reggie asked, referring to the latest model she took to events-low pressure arm candy and nothing more.

"Think I'd rather have a real date," Carrie said, looking at him meaningfully.

"Oh... Oh!" Reggie said, then grinned. "I'll be sure to fit it into my schedule."

"See that you do," Carrie said before pulling him in for a kiss.

[radi0activesmile]

Thoughts under the cut!

1. I’ve loved Andrealphus since the moment they dropped a picture of him, so I’m psyched we got to see him finally. HOWEVER...

The fact that they dropped that image of him months before season 2 dropped, and Stella name-dropped him in episode 1 of season 2 making him out to be this big threat that Stolas did not want to anger... seems like they were building up a lot for a guy who was just sorta... there. 

2. I think if this episode had been longer (it’s like seven minutes shorter than Exes and Oohs) that would have helped a lot. If scenes had like 30-40 more seconds in them, I think it would have flowed a little better. Like. Andrealphus was clearly trying to accomplish something by playing up Stolas cheating on Stella, but Striker came in before we could do it. Maybe we could have seen how easily he can get under Stolas’ skin, or maybe he could have said something to help us understand why Stella uses him as a threat. 

3. I like the idea of Millie and Moxxie going to take someone down without Blitz, but I wish it was someone other than Striker. Not that they didn’t have personal beefs with him, but when we last saw Striker, we kind of got the idea that he had almost convinced Blitz to join him, and I think that emotional scene at the end would have been waaaaay more effective if Blitz had been there to save Stolas, and Striker had offered that same deal, and Stolas could get to see Blitzo falter again. 

4. I think this episode suffers the same way Seeing Stars suffered in that, I get why they wanted Blitz to be away from the main plot, but I think the way they got him away... needed some work. Maybe if they’d been on a mission and Loona had been really hurt, and that’s why he needed to take her to a hospital? I know Helluva’s a dark comedy but the tone shifting so drastically from ‘haha dog getting shots’ to ‘man is getting tortured to death’ was a biiiit... extreme? 

5. I do like us getting to see how other hellborns treat imps... and seeing Blitz nearly lose it when someone mispronounces his name is a nice callback. 

6. Shoutout to the boyband imp. I love him. 

7. With how rushed things already felt, I don’t... really understand the scene where Millie and Moxxie stop at the gas station. Seemed like that time could have been better spent developing one of the other scenes. 

8. I’m all for Stella being a jaded girl boss who wants her husband to suffer for cheating on her (which he did, no matter how he tries to justify it, and no matter how loveless the marriage was, he did cheat on her) buuuut why was she okay with Striker shooting him last time? This seems like something she would want done quickly-- and quietly. She’s a noble with an image to think of, right? 

8.5 Then again, they’re clearly trying to paint her as someone who isn’t thinking this through (even though she clearly did think it through the first time she hired Striker? When she waited until he was an entire ring away from his castle and his guards? And could easily pin it on someone else? Rather than getting him abducted in public and not even pretending to be surprised?)

9. Really hope we get some Striker backstory, ‘cause the man’s clearly got some issues with nobles/overlords and I’m dying to find out who hurt him so badly. 

10. There’s so many scenes I wish were longer, but the Loona getting a shot scene could have been cut by a loooot. 

11. Did... did the person who wrote the scene between Andrealphus and Stella forget they’re siblings? Did they think Andre’s her sassy best friend? Because he does strike me as the type of guy who talks like this... but not to his sister. 

12. I like that they’re seemingly painting Andrealphus as this deep thinker who’s out here playing the long-game, but I don’t like that they had to make Stella so oblivious to the obvious to show that. Don’t tell me this woman, who has been plotting this for months (probably over a year) was so blinded by wanting Stolas dead that she didn’t consider anything else. She was raised a noble. Her marriage was arranged in childhood. Don’t tell me she isn’t very aware of what would happen to her status if he died. Don’t tell me she didn’t think of a way around that waaaay before she found an assassin. Why is she a whiny child all of a sudden?

13. STOP. CALLING. YOUR SISTER. THINGS. LIKE. THAT.

14. Edward Basco does an amazing job as Striker and I love the level of so done with these blue blooded dumbasses he brought during that phone call. 

15. That fight scene is absolutely gorgeous. 

16. I’m so confused about how Blitz got Loona into the car and into the doctor’s office only for her to suddenly put up a fight? I get her being freaked out but knowing it’s something she has to do to keep herself alive, and I could see her fighting Blitz the entire way there. The sudden flip just seemed... again, tonal shift. 

17. Love Doctor goat’s design though. 

18. Music is a bop!

19. So M&M get no credit for absolutely saving Stolas’ ass huh?

20. Stolas’ doctors being legit Plague Doctor demons is fantastic and I have no complaints. 

21. He can get hurt?

All jokes and gripes aside I really do like that line. Blitz clearly has a fear of people leaving him either by choice or by being taken away by death, and I bet thinking Stolas was this immortal being that, while annoying, he was likely comforted by the idea that Stolas physically can’t be taken from him. Then suddenly that security is jerked away from him. No matter what other feelings I have about this episode, that was really well done. 

22. Glad we’re finally getting some clarification on what’s been up with these two since Ozzie’s. It looks like Stolas is trying to give Blitz space and prove their relationship is not just you wanting me to fuck you and Blitz is being dismissive and guarded. They’re acting like nothing happened when they’re in front of others but it seems we’ll eventually get them talking about what happened that night. 

23. Why do you insist on hurting me with these character breaks after looking at phone endings, Viv?

All in all, I didn’t hate the episode. It absolutely wasn’t one of my favorites, and I don’t think it was a good follow up at all to Exes and Oohs, but it wasn’t terrible. I’ll admit my hopes and expectations were high AF because I’ve been dying to see Andrealphus and also dying for Striker to come back. 

So far, in season two, I’ve:

Really enjoyed episode 1

Had... thoughts about episode 2.

Loved episode 3.

Thought episode 4 was meh. 

Soooo, if the pattern keeps up, episode 5 should be great!

[lancelotscloak]

Chronicles of You - Ikemen Revolution Lancelot Kingsley’s playlist 🌹

Note: After 1.5 years of making countless changes to the playlist, I think I’m confident enough to post it now. It was meant to go public on his birthday this year, but better late than never, amirite? Lol

A character study is what I wish to convey in this playlist, diving deep into the nuances of his personality and traits that made Lancelot who he was. It captures his internal struggles to do what is right without putting lives in danger. It provides a genuine insight into his mind: how he thinks of the Magic Tower, and how he made himself believe that he had lost his humanity and turned into some kind of a “villain”. It shows how confused he was with his emotions when Alice slowly worms her way into his heart, and how he tried to push her away to protect her. The last six songs focused on how he is like in both endings, event stories, etc. when he’s learning to be “alive” again.

I highly recommend you listen to the playlist in order while digesting the lyrics of each song. I have provided a YouTube link for non-Spotify users.

TRACKLIST:

Man or a Monster by Sam Tinnesz (feat. Zayde Wølf)

When you close your eyes, what do you see?

Do you hold the light or is darkness underneath?

In your hands, there's a touch that can heal

But in those same hands, is the power to kill

Animal I Have Become by Three Days Grace

But there's still rage inside

Somebody get me through this nightmare

I can't control myself

So what if you can see the darkest side of me?

No one would ever change this animal I have become

Blood // Water by Grandson*

We'll never get free

Lamb to the slaughter

What you gon' do when there's blood in the water?

The price of your greed, your son and your daughter

What you gon' do when there's blood in the water?

*for the Magic Tower

Stomp Me Out by Bryce Fox

You can't stomp me out

You know you can't even slow me down

You know I spread this wild around

So if you're sure, you better shoot me now

[...]

If you find a change of heart

I might forgive you (I might forgive you)

But if you keep running that mouth

It just might kill you (Just might kill you)

Seven Devils by Florence + The Machine

Holy water cannot help you now

See, I've come to burn your kingdom down

And no rivers and no lakes can put the fire out

I'm gonna raise the stakes

I'm gonna smoke you out

Autoclave by The Mountain Goats

I am this great, unstable mass of blood and foam

And no one in her right mind would make my home her home

My heart's an autoclave

[...]

When I try to open up to you, I get completely lost

Houses swallowed by the earth, windows thick with frost

And I reach deep down within, but the pathways twist and turn

And there's no light anywhere, and nothing left to burn

Moondust by Jaymes Young

Nothing can breathe, in the space

Colder than, the darkest sea

I have dreams about the days

Driving through your sunset breeze

But the first thing that I will do

Is bury my love for you

Goodbye My Love by Fox Academy

Goodbye my love

I wish things were different

Don't spend your time

With someone that doesn't deserve it

The Dark Side by Muse

I have lived in darkness

For all my life, I've been pursued

You'd be afraid if you could feel my pain

And if you could see the things I am able to see

[...]

I hail from the dark side

For all my life, I've been besieged

You'd be scared living with my despair

And if you could feel the things, I am able to feel

Fallen Angel by Zaradiah

They don't like when you go against their way

Learn your strength and watch as you become the prey

Born from pain, fueled by fear, you see it clear as day

It's a game of cat and mouse I refuse to play

Break the chains

I changed my fate

Accept the stains

That I left behind

My Life For Hire by A Day to Remember

Somebody give me a sign that everything's going as planned

And then everything falls away into the darkness of this shallow place

The detail is striking, the room's cold and frightening

You'll kick and you'll scream, you'll try everything to survive

But you should know your fate by now

[...]

But I swear I'll be the one

To let the world know what you've done to me

Headstrong by Trapt

Now I see the truth, I got a doubt

A different motive in your eyes and now I'm out

[...]

I see your fantasy

You wanna make it a reality paved in gold

See inside, inside of our heads, yeah

Well, now that's over

Let It Breathe by Water Liars

There's a room inside my heart that no one ever goes

It's been boarded up and locked for years and everything is gone

Then you come along and cut yourself a key

Swept the floors and opened a window, said ‘baby let it breathe’

Golden by Harry Styles

Golden, golden, golden

As I open my eyes

Hold it, focus, hoping

Take me back to the light

I know you were way too bright for me

[...]

I can feel it take a hold (I can feel it take a hold)

I can feel you take control (I can feel you take control)

Of who I am and all I've ever known

Loving you's the antidote

Indigo Puff by Sundara Karma

I feel the light surrounding me

I'm open now and feeling free

[...]

I see the sound land on my skin

A passion moves me from within

[...]

You're the one, you're the one, you're the one

In my heart, in my bones and in my soul

You're the one who keeps me on my own

[maxverstepponme]

Was kinda just thinking / playing around with the fact that this blog goes so in depth about how awful of a person, mom, and “girlfriend” Kelly Piquet is I’m really surprised no one here has made its way to a blind item / a bigger gossip forum because YALL ARE DOING THE LORDS WORK ON FINDING THE STEAMIEST ☕️☕️☕️

but then i seriously think about it and Max is a C(+) list celebrity with the raising interest in F1, while Kelly is Miles and miles behind him. Which is very funny because considering how she talks to photographers and other ppl who’ve had interactions with her she definitely thinks she’s up there with max. Modeling is a super hard industry to get into and many many ppl get hired for agency & contractors but not all of them are ppl like Kendall Jenner, the Hadid sisters ect. Her biggest shoot was the Dutch Vogue which from my understanding did not reach the performance it was intended because the contents only really focused on her being a trophy gf and very obviously didn’t point out anything she’s actually done in terms of motherhood, trying to make a name in the modeling world while trying to set herself apart ect, it was about max this and max that and my dads a world champion. She can attend all the fancy Fashion Weeks she wants but just showing up doesn’t actually do anything.

It’s very hard to be come relevant when you don’t have any substance and leeching off a boyfriend is probably the worst way to be come relevant. I 100% believe she tried to baby trap Daniil K and will probably do it to Max. When she had P she had a wonderful working mom in the paddock vibe (bc at time if I’m not mistaken she was in charge of running some f3/ lower junior series’ instagrams / socials) but got rid of it after they split and TRIED to be back into mommy blogging with Max but she cares way to much about furthering her modeling career and using her kid as an accessory to keep up with the stay at home stichk.

There’s soooo many ways Kelly could market herself but relies heavily on F1 fans from max to further her career which in all reality, as someone who just got in the sport a year 1/2 ago and is a female, I’ve had other female friends in the sport WAYYY longer than me and no one really cares about the girlfriends and wife’s. It’s fun too see them in the paddock yes but Most f1 fans are watching for the sport and to cheer on their favorite driver than to be investing in a struggling modeling career.

I also think it’s very psycho to try and alter the reality of a relationship to the point Kelly does. Maybe it’s just me being the type of person who doesn’t feel the need to flaunt / post a relationship (me and my partner have been together 3 yrs and I personally don’t see the point of posting about the relationship/ giving up dates 24/7 because I believe that those moments are better spent between the two of us and not the entire internet). When it gets to the point of faking posting about something as simple as flowers or posting old photos to make it seem like she’s in his apartment/ with him when the detectives on here clearly point out she’s ran off somewhere else is very concerning. She’s 30+ and displays the same type of relationship insecurity as a 16 yr old. Normal people shouldn’t feel the need to constantly verify their relationship with complete strangers online. Its also not that hard to respect the privacy of your S/O but not showing key features of their house, because the fact fans have seen photos of Monaco and now are able to point out max’s apartment is very concerning but it wouldn’t have started If miss K hadn’t obsessively showed off the place.

I definitely don’t think Kelly is stupid, and I know that she knows that once her and max break up a lot of the opportunities she had like meeting maya musk ect will be gone. ANYWAYS BACK TO THE OG POINT I think some of the work ppl do on this blog about the Kelly time lines should definitely try submitting something to a blind items blog because IG seems to be her main platform of outreach and it would be interesting to see how she would respond. This blog holds valid criticism of her /(with other wags but K seems to be the most problematic) and accurate descriptions and timelines of her sketchiness. Keep doing the lords work ladies and gents 💛💛

Skilled nonnies