#ONE TIME my friends birthday was the SAME weekend my other friend visited new york and we hung out

[mcrtyrdoms]

;; GABRIEL LEONE — AS TOLD.

[ justice smith, nonbinary, he/they ] - was that gabriel 'gabe' leone i saw by the lighthouse today? i heard that the twenty seven year old who has been in nightrest for twenty years and works as a bartender at deadlights / tattoo apprentice at deadly inks has a reputation of being animated, but also foolhardy. they reside in fog gate & people in town usually associate them with waking up in a body as heavy as the dead, emotions always on the verge of spilling over; laughing before the punch lands, and the belief that every encounter you have will be the last. let’s hope the killer doesn’t go after them next. [ james, 24, they/them, est, n/a ]  

MENTIONS OF TERMINAL ILLNESS, DIVORCE, DRUGS, DEPRESSION, DEATH MENTION,  WOUND INFECTION, VAGUE NSFW, SMOKING BEYOND THIS POINT.

profile.

full name: gabriel ‘gabe’ leone.

birthday: october 31st, 1995.

astrology: scorpio sun, scorpio moon, gemini ascending.

sexuality: queer.

currently listening to: sextape by deftones.

current mood: desperate 🥺  

current location: [[[cannot be found]]]

last tweet: pleasepleaseplease let me tattoo the sexy rat please this is a HOMAGE to my HOME.

PINTEREST.

history.

grows up in the jersey suburbs with their mom and dad for the first seven years of his life. his mother sonia’s an art student-turned-struggling artist who splits her time between nj and nyc for whichever side gig she can pick up, and his father’s an old punk turned chef with a severe vendetta against bobby flay.

when money’s tight and there’s no sitter to turn to during the summer, gabe accompanies their parents into the city. occasionally the stars align and sonia picks up a waitressing shift at the restaurant his father works at, allowing gabe to sit in a tucked away booth and scribble away. sometimes his dad’s old friends stop by the diner, letting gabe color inside the lines of their tattoos as his mom finishes up for the day.

TERMINAL ILLNESS; when gabe’s seven, sonia gets a one-in-a-lifetime opportunity to work with an illustrator she’s long admired and once mentored under; he’s terminal, losing control of his hands, and needs someone to finish what he no longer can. the pay isn’t the most lucrative, but the experience alone is enough for sonia to accept the offer. the only catch being that they have to relocate to nightrest, massachusetts, where her old mentor resides.

around the same time, gabe’s dad gets promoted at the restaurant he’s been cooking at - he’s got it in good with the owners, could very well own the business himself if he keeps up the way he has. he loves his job, loves the restaurant and the bustle of the city. he wants to move them up to nyc.

DIVORCE; gabe doesn’t really understand why it happens, he’s seven and doesn’t really know where massachusetts is - they already take the train between new jersey and new york, why couldn’t they take the train from new york to massachusetts? if their parents love each other, why do they have to go separate ways? no amount of explaining could make gabe understand; and next thing he knows, his mom’s driving with him up to nightrest.

it’s tough settling in at first; gabe misses their dad and the city, and his dad’s cooking, and taking the train every other weekend between the two states - and his dad’s cooking, again. but it’s not all so bad; even though they reside in nightrest - the town is still drenched in halloween, like a constant celebration of gabe’s birthday. and he’s not completely alone; their dad’s old walkman left in their possession and the promise of visiting whenever he can.

days turn into years, and gabe’s older now, a teenager; he still visits the city every summer and crashes on his dad’s couch when he’s not out exploring the city or making out with a random boy from the hardcore show they’ve just attended.

MINOR DEATH MENTION; sonia remarries, eventually - and it’s like, good. it’s really good. they met during one of sonia’s local art exhibitions, her career finally taking off after her mentor’s passing. his name’s bill, or greg - maybe craig. he makes sonia laugh like gabe’s dad did, and has a son around gabe’s age. it’s good. life is good for them.

DRUG MENTION; it’s difficult for gabe to adjust to the marriage, and the addition of a step-brother. he’s not used to family being anything other than sonia, or his dad. his friends are like a family to them, but that’s different. it just feels different. their step-brother doesn’t play dnd, or care for marching band in the way that gabe oddly does - doesn’t listen to hardcore, or appreciate horror movies despite living in nightrest. fuck, he doesn’t even smoke weed. not even a little.

gabe’s not home as often - they’re off doing better things, like smoking in someone else’s basement and trying hard to start a band that never really takes off. they do free piercings at parties in cramped bathrooms; it’s how they’ve gotten several of their own. stick and pokes on someone’s grandfather’s old leather couch, drinking shitty beer from the only gas station that doesn’t check ids just outside of town.

they don’t mean to distance themselves from their family - it just sort of happens. the only child complex; the inability to share, and minor feelings of incompetency whenever his step-brother gets praised for his ever-growing list of achievements, while gabe’s stuck with the same routine of try hard, fail, mope, then pick themself up again just to do it all over again.

eventually they graduate high school (barely but surely) and enroll in the community college - most of their friends head off to better colleges in better states for better opportunities while gabe stays in the same place. they could go back to the city - but it’s expensive, and well - fuck - gabe doesn’t know. it’s hard to go anywhere once you feel stuck.

DEPRESSION, DEATH MENTION; they start taking anti-depressants sometime after dropping out of college, unsure of what they want to actually do with their life. gabe hits a couple low-points, but eventually takes up a job as a piercer at a tattoo shop down in salem and gets an apartment for dangerously cheap in fog gate after the previous tenant passed unexpectedly in the home.

INFECTION, VAGUE NSFW; gabe tells this one customer like a thousand times the proper aftercare for a fresh piercing, especially one done in a particularly...sensitive area - not to go swimming, wash with a saline solution, etc. etc. does the douchebag listen? no. has the audacity to go to a beach party - swim in the fucking water - then comes back saying that gabe’s fucked up the piercing, that it’s all infected - that he’ll sue. gabe knows damn well they didn’t fuck up the piercing - but it’s their word against his, and eventually gabe’s forced to quit as a piercer just to appease the guy.

present day and gabe’s currently a bartender at deadlights - just managed to get an apprenticeship at deadly inks after following the artists around the shop like a lost puppy - sad eyes and all. now if only they’ll let him tattoo on people. they’ve always liked drawing - the talent not quite as natural to gabe as it is to their mom, but years of practicing american traditional instead of writing chemistry notes has finally paid off.

traits.

has a serial case of being Too Friendly. they just love to talk. they’re not very good with long silences and will end up making some sort of noise to compensate anyways, so might as well let them ramble on about whatever. charismatic but still a little awkward at times.

DRUGS, DEATH MENTION; had a bad acid trip sometime last year that messed with his psyche a bit, had him thinking he was dead and a ghost for like. hours. worried they’re gonna like crack their back the wrong way one day and go on another bad trip.

tries so much to be like. Positive. Think Positive. sometimes they get into a bad rut and it takes them a couple of days (more like weeks) to fully snap out of it, but they really do try.

very affectionate with all his friends and gets lonely if they’re left alone for too long. separation anxiety</3. really likes being around others. loves parties. like gabe can cope if they’re on their own but they’re almost a little catlike in the sense like. they need alone time when they need it but when they need people time they Need it.

so endlessly loyal unless a friend’s done some truly fucked shit. but other than that gabe’s a ride or die.

he’s short. gabe’s like, 5′6″ at the very most. but what they lack in height they make up for in heart<3

just. fully covered in tattoos. started with stick and pokes and those cheap little tattoo guns from amazon when they were a teenager, all the way to their current big age with like. actual professionally done tattoos. there’s like very little skin that hasn’t been tattooed at this point.

has knuckle tattoos but they literally just say KNUC KLES.

was a Band Kid. was in marching band. and u know what? he fucking loved it. tried to start his own band as a teenager but it never took off and now he just plays guitar as a hobby.

has. a lip ring, a nose ring, and an eyebrow bar.

grew up interacting with the diy punk scene in nyc when he would go in the summertime, and their music taste reflects that almost exclusively. perpetually stuck in the early 2000s even though he was like 10.

has a rly old iphone like they don’t make the chargers for it anymore kind of old but he’s just not willing to upgrade it. doesn’t know how it’s still running. but he doesn’t have iphone kind of money.

99% sure they have adhd but were never tested or medicated for it. explains a lot of executive dysfunction but gabe does Not want to think about their problems like, ever. will avoid problems involving himself, like, interpersonally, but if one of their friends starts acting weird or distant then gabe will instantly be like. whats up? you good? why are u ignoring me? :/

has modeled nude for figure drawing classes before because they r proud of their body goddammit.

sometimes, occasionally, crosses that boundary between friendship and like. situationship. likes affection and pleasure but most of their relationships are short-term because they also live fast die young or whatever. what i’m trying to say is that gabe has been around the block more than a few times.

SMOKING; will never give up cigarettes for vaping!! never!!

huge nerd; plays dnd, loves high fantasy. loves halloween. big horror enthusiast.

doesn’t sleep well at all and is usually running on only a few hours. like at most 5 hours.

OH. THEY’RE VEGAN. passionate about like. Big Meat and animal cruelty and the environment and sustainability. all their leather is secondhand, they mostly thrift. just like their dad they also cook<3 mostly trying new vegan recipes that they then make their friends try.

they try their best to stay neat but sometimes<3 it just doesn’t stay that way. their apartment accumulates mess but then gabe will dedicate like an entire day or two to deep cleaning. it’s actually very therapeutic idk.

relationships.

long term friends!! people who’ve known them since they moved, or since high school, etc. people that gabe would die for without a second thought.

like a best best friend. the bestest of friends. the one person gabe cannot imagine life without.

first loves, second loves, thirds, forths, etc. spanning from high school to current day. i imagine most of their relationships are like. puppy love or honeymoon phases and then it fizzles out or gabe gets a little Too Much for the other to handle. most of them would be with masculine-presenting people i’d imagine

hook-ups of christmas past, present, n future. just fun, no thoughts or feelings which is hard because gabe falls in love just a little bit with like every person they meet<3

i love antagonistic relationships. people who hate gabe. gabe who hates people. they’re surprisingly spiteful and not a forgive n forget type of person. holds grudges like a motherfucker sometimes. maybe a brawl or two. it’d be funny if every once in a while they exchange hate texts just reminding each other how much they dislike the other.

i also love pining and unrequited feelings<3

apartment neighbors, i think gabe lives alone but he’s very neighborly (and is broke and out of ingredients and will ask for two slices of bread or a cup of sugar). but he’ll also leave fresh baked vegan goods outside your door<3

bar friends! drinking friends! dnd friends! artist friends!

friends to enemies or enemies to friends. got into physical fights in high school but now you’re like begrudgingly becoming friends now that you’re older<3

or maybe ur drifting away!

omg. the guy who tried to sue gabe for the dick piercing mishap.

but im down fr like literally anything gabe is Versatile and i love any sort of connection.

[mcrtyrdomsarchived]

;; GABRIEL LEONE — AS TOLD.

[ justice smith, nonbinary, he/they ] - was that gabriel 'gabe' leone i saw by the lighthouse today? i heard that the twenty seven year old who has been in nightrest for twenty years and works as a bartender at deadlights / tattoo apprentice at deadly inks has a reputation of being animated, but also foolhardy. they reside in fog gate & people in town usually associate them with waking up in a body as heavy as the dead, emotions always on the verge of spilling over; laughing before the punch lands, and the belief that every encounter you have will be the last. let’s hope the killer doesn’t go after them next. [ james, 24, they/them, est, n/a ]

MENTIONS OF TERMINAL ILLNESS, DIVORCE, DRUGS, DEPRESSION, DEATH MENTION,  WOUND INFECTION, VAGUE NSFW, SMOKING BEYOND THIS POINT.

profile.

full name: gabriel ‘gabe’ leone.

birthday: october 31st, 1995.

astrology: scorpio sun, scorpio moon, gemini ascending.

sexuality: queer.

currently listening to: sextape by deftones.

current mood: desperate 🥺

current location: [[[cannot be found]]]

last tweet: pleasepleaseplease let me tattoo the sexy rat please this is a HOMAGE to my HOME.

PINTEREST.

history.

grows up in the jersey suburbs with their mom and dad for the first seven years of his life. his mother sonia’s an art student-turned-struggling artist who splits her time between nj and nyc for whichever side gig she can pick up, and his father’s an old punk turned chef with a severe vendetta against bobby flay.

when money’s tight and there’s no sitter to turn to during the summer, gabe accompanies their parents into the city. occasionally the stars align and sonia picks up a waitressing shift at the restaurant his father works at, allowing gabe to sit in a tucked away booth and scribble away. sometimes his dad’s old friends stop by the diner, letting gabe color inside the lines of their tattoos as his mom finishes up for the day.

TERMINAL ILLNESS; when gabe’s seven, sonia gets a one-in-a-lifetime opportunity to work with an illustrator she’s long admired and once mentored under; he’s terminal, losing control of his hands, and needs someone to finish what he no longer can. the pay isn’t the most lucrative, but the experience alone is enough for sonia to accept the offer. the only catch being that they have to relocate to nightrest, massachusetts, where her old mentor resides.

around the same time, gabe’s dad gets promoted at the restaurant he’s been cooking at - he’s got it in good with the owners, could very well own the business himself if he keeps up the way he has. he loves his job, loves the restaurant and the bustle of the city. he wants to move them up to nyc.

DIVORCE; gabe doesn’t really understand why it happens, he’s seven and doesn’t really know where massachusetts is - they already take the train between new jersey and new york, why couldn’t they take the train from new york to massachusetts? if their parents love each other, why do they have to go separate ways? no amount of explaining could make gabe understand; and next thing he knows, his mom’s driving with him up to nightrest.

it’s tough settling in at first; gabe misses their dad and the city, and his dad’s cooking, and taking the train every other weekend between the two states - and his dad’s cooking, again. but it’s not all so bad; even though they reside in nightrest - the town is still drenched in halloween, like a constant celebration of gabe’s birthday. and he’s not completely alone; their dad’s old walkman left in their possession and the promise of visiting whenever he can.

days turn into years, and gabe’s older now, a teenager; he still visits the city every summer and crashes on his dad’s couch when he’s not out exploring the city or making out with a random boy from the hardcore show they’ve just attended.

MINOR DEATH MENTION; sonia remarries, eventually - and it’s like, good. it’s really good. they met during one of sonia’s local art exhibitions, her career finally taking off after her mentor’s passing. his name’s bill, or greg - maybe craig. he makes sonia laugh like gabe’s dad did, and has a son around gabe’s age. it’s good. life is good for them.

DRUG MENTION; it’s difficult for gabe to adjust to the marriage, and the addition of a step-brother. he’s not used to family being anything other than sonia, or his dad. his friends are like a family to them, but that’s different. it just feels different. their step-brother doesn’t play dnd, or care for marching band in the way that gabe oddly does - doesn’t listen to hardcore, or appreciate horror movies despite living in nightrest. fuck, he doesn’t even smoke weed. not even a little.

gabe’s not home as often - they’re off doing better things, like smoking in someone else’s basement and trying hard to start a band that never really takes off. they do free piercings at parties in cramped bathrooms; it’s how they’ve gotten several of their own. stick and pokes on someone’s grandfather’s old leather couch, drinking shitty beer from the only gas station that doesn’t check ids just outside of town.

they don’t mean to distance themselves from their family - it just sort of happens. the only child complex; the inability to share, and minor feelings of incompetency whenever his step-brother gets praised for his ever-growing list of achievements, while gabe’s stuck with the same routine of try hard, fail, mope, then pick themself up again just to do it all over again.

eventually they graduate high school (barely but surely) and enroll in the community college - most of their friends head off to better colleges in better states for better opportunities while gabe stays in the same place. they could go back to the city - but it’s expensive, and well - fuck - gabe doesn’t know. it’s hard to go anywhere once you feel stuck.

DEPRESSION, DEATH MENTION; they start taking anti-depressants sometime after dropping out of college, unsure of what they want to actually do with their life. gabe hits a couple low-points, but eventually takes up a job as a piercer at a tattoo shop down in salem and gets an apartment for dangerously cheap in fog gate after the previous tenant passed unexpectedly in the home.

INFECTION, VAGUE NSFW; gabe tells this one customer like a thousand times the proper aftercare for a fresh piercing, especially one done in a particularly...sensitive area - not to go swimming, wash with a saline solution, etc. etc. does the douchebag listen? no. has the audacity to go to a beach party - swim in the fucking water - then comes back saying that gabe’s fucked up the piercing, that it’s all infected - that he’ll sue. gabe knows damn well they didn’t fuck up the piercing - but it’s their word against his, and eventually gabe’s forced to quit as a piercer just to appease the guy.

present day and gabe’s currently a bartender at deadlights - just managed to get an apprenticeship at deadly inks after following the artists around the shop like a lost puppy - sad eyes and all. now if only they’ll let him tattoo on people. they’ve always liked drawing - the talent not quite as natural to gabe as it is to their mom, but years of practicing american traditional instead of writing chemistry notes has finally paid off.

traits.

has a serial case of being Too Friendly. they just love to talk. they’re not very good with long silences and will end up making some sort of noise to compensate anyways, so might as well let them ramble on about whatever. charismatic but still a little awkward at times.

DRUGS, DEATH MENTION; had a bad acid trip sometime last year that messed with his psyche a bit, had him thinking he was dead and a ghost for like. hours. worried they’re gonna like crack their back the wrong way one day and go on another bad trip.

tries so much to be like. Positive. Think Positive. sometimes they get into a bad rut and it takes them a couple of days (more like weeks) to fully snap out of it, but they really do try.

very affectionate with all his friends and gets lonely if they’re left alone for too long. separation anxiety</3. really likes being around others. loves parties. like gabe can cope if they’re on their own but they’re almost a little catlike in the sense like. they need alone time when they need it but when they need people time they Need it.

so endlessly loyal unless a friend’s done some truly fucked shit. but other than that gabe’s a ride or die.

he’s short. gabe’s like, 5′6″ at the very most. but what they lack in height they make up for in heart<3

just. fully covered in tattoos. started with stick and pokes and those cheap little tattoo guns from amazon when they were a teenager, all the way to their current big age with like. actual professionally done tattoos. there’s like very little skin that hasn’t been tattooed at this point.

has knuckle tattoos but they literally just say KNUC KLES.

was a Band Kid. was in marching band. and u know what? he fucking loved it. tried to start his own band as a teenager but it never took off and now he just plays guitar as a hobby.

has. a lip ring, a nose ring, and an eyebrow bar.

grew up interacting with the diy punk scene in nyc when he would go in the summertime, and their music taste reflects that almost exclusively. perpetually stuck in the early 2000s even though he was like 10.

has a rly old iphone like they don’t make the chargers for it anymore kind of old but he’s just not willing to upgrade it. doesn’t know how it’s still running. but he doesn’t have iphone kind of money.

99% sure they have adhd but were never tested or medicated for it. explains a lot of executive dysfunction but gabe does Not want to think about their problems like, ever. will avoid problems involving himself, like, interpersonally, but if one of their friends starts acting weird or distant then gabe will instantly be like. whats up? you good? why are u ignoring me? :/

has modeled nude for figure drawing classes before because they r proud of their body goddammit.

sometimes, occasionally, crosses that boundary between friendship and like. situationship. likes affection and pleasure but most of their relationships are short-term because they also live fast die young or whatever. what i’m trying to say is that gabe has been around the block more than a few times.

SMOKING; will never give up cigarettes for vaping!! never!!

huge nerd; plays dnd, loves high fantasy. loves halloween. big horror enthusiast.

doesn’t sleep well at all and is usually running on only a few hours. like at most 5 hours.

OH. THEY’RE VEGAN. passionate about like. Big Meat and animal cruelty and the environment and sustainability. all their leather is secondhand, they mostly thrift. just like their dad they also cook<3 mostly trying new vegan recipes that they then make their friends try.

they try their best to stay neat but sometimes<3 it just doesn’t stay that way. their apartment accumulates mess but then gabe will dedicate like an entire day or two to deep cleaning. it’s actually very therapeutic idk.

relationships.

long term friends!! people who’ve known them since they moved, or since high school, etc. people that gabe would die for without a second thought.

like a best best friend. the bestest of friends. the one person gabe cannot imagine life without.

first loves, second loves, thirds, forths, etc. spanning from high school to current day. i imagine most of their relationships are like. puppy love or honeymoon phases and then it fizzles out or gabe gets a little Too Much for the other to handle. most of them would be with masculine-presenting people i’d imagine

hook-ups of christmas past, present, n future. just fun, no thoughts or feelings which is hard because gabe falls in love just a little bit with like every person they meet<3

i love antagonistic relationships. people who hate gabe. gabe who hates people. they’re surprisingly spiteful and not a forgive n forget type of person. holds grudges like a motherfucker sometimes. maybe a brawl or two. it’d be funny if every once in a while they exchange hate texts just reminding each other how much they dislike the other.

i also love pining and unrequited feelings<3

apartment neighbors, i think gabe lives alone but he’s very neighborly (and is broke and out of ingredients and will ask for two slices of bread or a cup of sugar). but he’ll also leave fresh baked vegan goods outside your door<3

bar friends! drinking friends! dnd friends! artist friends!

friends to enemies or enemies to friends. got into physical fights in high school but now you’re like begrudgingly becoming friends now that you’re older<3

or maybe ur drifting away!

omg. the guy who tried to sue gabe for the dick piercing mishap.

but im down fr like literally anything gabe is Versatile and i love any sort of connection.

[homingpigecns]

i don’t really consider myself a great friend or even a. good one sdfsfdf but i do occasionally go Way Too Over The Top and almost die. and you know it is at times like these. i realize that while my having like 3 friends is 90% my personality and general disposition it is also 10%. self preservation ����

[harrysmimi]

Lovely

Chapter 20: Birthday In London

Last chapter...

Series Master list

More of my work

YN and Hebe were already in London, had a lovely few days with her grandma and Aunty Gems.

Harry was stuck in New York getting some stuff done at his label office, before he can go back to London and work and at the same time be there with his daughter and his love. He did not realise how much he have gotten used to Hebe just around him, it felt awfully quiet to him in his hotel room. He just loves having her be chaotic around the house, going crazy with her tricycle in living room. She is usually very good at playing by herself but she is very noisy. His favourite is when she plays pretend to be a teacher and have a class of her own with her stuffies and dolls.

He's planned out his date with YN which he have asked her for and recieved a green flag for. He have had his manager make sure to let him know about the paparazzi around the town just so he can have all his privacy. He have already made reservations at this small restaurant, for the weekend, YN starts her shoot a week early so he was going to make the most of her free time. Even take both the girls out for a family day out. Harry have even asked his mum to take in Hebe for the night on Saturday.

The girls have been having some amazing time! He could tell by the pictures and videos he's been bombarded by his mum and sister and even YN from past few days. Hebe have visibly fallen in love with Anne's cats and they seem to love her too, that's what it looks like from the pictures and videos he have been receiving. The girl makes friends with every one, cats are on that list too.

For YN it was really like she found her mew family. Anne and Gemma are very welcoming, accepting her for her and not just because she is mother of Harry's daughter. Especially Gemma, she has been with YN all the time since she arrived in London. Going out to girls days out. Gemma showed YN around London as YN have never been to London apart from work, she never got to explore much. Gemma even promised YN that they're going to visit their hometown in Manchester, and she is going to show around places her and Harry grew up. For the very first time is a while YN felt genuinely happy, it felt like home to her.

"Mummy we goin' to get Dadda?" Hebe asked, holding up a bouquet of flowers she chose.

"Your Dadda is already here, we're just going to see him." YN told her putting her up in her car seat.

"Oh, can we watch movie wif him?" She asked.

"Of course we can," YN agreed strapping her up, "what movie do you want to watch?"

"I dunno." Hebe shrugged.

"We'll let your dad pick one okay?" A kiss was planted on Hebe's head by her YN, "you good in here? Ready to go?"

"Yes!" Hebe exclaimed excitedly, YN shut the door to Hebe's side and got in drivers seat.

"Can we also go to the park Mummy, pwease?" Hebe asked.

"Why not!" YN looked at her through the back view mirror.

"Can I also go on slwide alone?" She asked.

"Yes," YN agreed.

"Can Binky go too?" She asked another question.

"On the slide? I don't think that will be a good idea lovely, what about she goes on the see-saw with you instead?" YN suggested.

"Mhmm. I don' wan' her to get hurt." Hebe nodded understandingly.

......................................................................

"Dadda!" Hebe squealed and ran towards her dad handing the flower to her Mum, she was scooped up by her dad in a bear hug.

"Hey, I missed you." Harry murmured softly, Hebe rested her head on his shoulder tucking her hand in between both of them.

"Missed you, Dadda!" She reciprocated. "We got you fowers!"

"Did you?" Harry smiled and pressed a kiss on her cheek, YN was stood by the porch with an arrangement of red and pink roses tucked in her arm which Hebe picked out, her other hand held up her purse and Binky the fox.

"I missed you too!" Harry wrapped his free arm around YN's shoulder and brought her closer to his chest, "thank you for the flowers!"

"Your welcome." YN smiled.

"Yo'welcome." Hebe repeated. All of them went in.

"So, what's the plan for today?" Harry asked.

"Oh, oh, can we pwease watch cartoon, then go to park, and eat ice cream?" Hebe asked, hopping on her spot excitedly on Harry's lap.

"We can do that. What cartoon do you want to watch?" Harry picked up the remote on the coffee table. Hebe took it and switched to Disney plus and played her favourite show.

They just did what Hebe's plan was, of course, they went to see Anne too. She had invited all of then over for dinner.

......................................................................

Weekend rolled around really quickly. YN shoot started a day before, so Hebe was mostly with Harry. But it was Saturday (next day was off for YN), he was excited for his date with YN. Hebe was excited to spend the rest of the evening and night at her Grandma's with Aunty Gems, and play with Anne's cats.

YN was at her sets, so Harry went to pick her up from there. She was a little surprised and not ready for the date at all, she was in her jeans and a thrifted Rolling Stones shirt with a zip-up jerkin on. But Harry convinced her she was dressed appropriately for the date, he did not planned anything super fancy, not yet. He drove to this restaurant he made reservation at.

The environment at the restaurant was very calm. Both of them were guided to a booth in the back, it was understandable but it felt weird like as if they're there to meet up for a mafia meeting.

"Feels like we're going to plan a massive mafia burglary." She commented. Harry gave her a not impressed look but was trying to hold back his giggles. "That was terrible, sorry." She looked down at the menu with a sheepish smile on her face.

"It was funny!" He giggled as he slid closer to her by the corner, they were sat on a 'L' shaped sofa and a table in front, YN had her bag discarded on the space in between her and Harry. "So where do you want to have your second robbery?"

"I have never robbed any place." She looked at him in disbelief, "wait... I know what you're gonna say!"

"You ruined it for me!" He groaned hitting the table with his fingers making contact with the wood making a small thud, "I was gonna say, you stole my heart."

"I knew it you're gonna say that." She shook her head looking back at the menu.

"I bet you already have many people flirting with you that you can predict everyone's flirting. Well, who can blame them!" He sighed dreamily, resting his elbow on the wood propping his chin on the heel of his palm. He smirked watching a pink tint take over her pretty face blending down to her neck as she tried not to react to anything he said.

"Have you came here before?" She asked.

"Many times. Gems love to eat here." Harry nodded, "they have amazing Vegan options here as well."

"I don't mind anything." She told him, choosing something which sounded appealing and appetising to her. They ordered their food.

YN couldn't help just think what Hebe might be doing. She have hardly ever left her with someone to go on a date, she have never done that. She took her daughter on little Mummy-daughter dates, but she have never been to dates like this before. She felt bad for leaving her, even though she knows Hebe must be having the time of her life with Anne's cats and her Aunty Gems.

"What's wrong lovie?" Harry enquired.

"Nothing, just... I've never left Hebe alone to go on a date before." She shared.

"It's okay, she must be having fun with her grandma." Harry assured her, "but we can go back after dinner if you want."

"No, it's okay, I'm just not used to this don't want to ruin whatever you have planned." Her voice soft, still carrying the guilt of leaving her baby with her grandma and aunty and having an amazing dinner, it was just her Mummy heart but she will be fine. The waiter came by with their food, Harry had to stop whatever he was gonna say.

"What ever you say." He reached his hand to tuck her hair behind her ear so he could press a kiss on her cheek. "How was your shoot today?"

"It was good, shot four scenes today." She shared.

"That's amazing. Hebe and I went to the Aquarium today." He shared as well, "she loves sharks."

"She does." YN nodded in agreement.

The rest of the dinner went very well and smooth. All they did was talked about each other and their daughter, YN telling him her little stories from when she started crawling and sat up. The way she was so smart to throw all the pillows off the bed and and jump down on them to crawl to her Mummy, who was busy taking a test that time and she was asleep. YN almost had a heart attack that day and the very same day she went and got her a cot appropriate of her age as she grew out of her old one.

"She's very smart for that!" Harry laughed throwing his head back.

"It wasn't funny, I thought she hurt herself." YN shook her head.

"She didn't, did she?" He enquired.

"Nope, she did not." YN assured him. YN had a weird obsession with having a shit load of pillows on her bed, so that was good that Hebe threw all of them on the floor before she got down.

"She can even operate tech stuff, kids these days are very smart." Harry said stuffing his face with food. Be was very surprised the other day when Hebe turned on her favorite show herself, she was at his and asked if she can watch TV for a little, Harry was of course not going to say no to her and asked her to wait until he was done making her a grilled cheese. But she had already turned on the TV and put on Disney. He was surprised how she even found the app on the TV.

"You're grandpa I'm not surprised you're shocked." She scoffed teasing him.

"Hey, i'm not that old." He whined. YN just chuckled softly at his reaction. From the corner of his eye Harry swore he saw a camera reflection, but it was just a girl taking a picture with her friend at the table next to theirs. Now he did not know if she were trying to get him in the shot as well or it was nothing. They were all singing a birthday song so Harry thought it should be nothing she should worry about.

YN's phone started to ding, it happened once, then twice and her phone started flooding with a shit load if notifications from Twitter.

"What's that?" Harry asked.

"I don't know, do you mind if I check it?" YN said, she panicked that one of her movie trailer might have leaked or something.

"Sure." He nodded. YN grabbed her phone from her bag. She sighed looking at her phone. Those girls were indeed taking pictures of Harry, his phone did not went off like her because he doesn't have twitter logged into his phone. It was insane how fast those two went viral among his fandom.

"What the fuck Harry?" She showed him her tagged feed. That's when Harry got a call from his assistant, he answered it.

"Yeah, yeah, don't worry about it." Harry blinked his eyes a multiple times. He hung up.

"Is everything alright?" YN asked.

"Yeah, just don't worry about it." He assured her, "she said someone gave a tip to the paparazzi and there is a huge crowd outside."

"Oh!" She looked at her phone and kept it aside, looking upset.

"Hey, we don't have to let that ruin our night, yeah? Let's just finished up our dinner and go back to mine have a quiet night, okay, how does that sound?" He suggested.

YN just nodded absently. She still hates Paparazzi crowd, she never got used to it. She somehow manages her anxiety at the red carpets and premieres. But this just ruined her mood. His fans are brutal. Their pictures were going viral a few years ago from that restaurant, and they were hating on her even though they didn't know her name. It was just a blurry picture of them where Harry is clearly being affectionate towards her. It was fucked up back then and it's going to be more fucked up now.

"YN, you alright?" Harry enquired.

"No, I- I mean yeah. I just don't like crowd of Paparazzi." She shared.

"I know, it's okay, we'll figure something out, alright?" He grabbed her hand under the table.

"Yeah." She nodded.

"I know the owner of this place, if that makes you feel any better he'll let us out through the kitchen back door." He told her.

"What? Really?" YN didn't know why she was surprised but she was in fact very surprised.

"Yup. Now eat up before it gets more cold." He said pointing at her half eaten food.

......................................................................

Harry's friend was really nice enough to let them both out through the kitchen back door, he even went and got Harry's car from where it was parked. Harry stopped and took pictures with the chefs and waiters there, and made sure to ask them to wait for a couple days before they post it.

"Feels like we're on run from almost being caught for smuggling." Harry said guiding YN to his car at the back of the restaurant.

"That's what it feels like." YN huffed feeling cold. She is not used to London weather and it's always cold for her.

"Are you cold lovie?"

A arm was swung over her shoulder, as she was squeezed to his side before she could even answer his question.

"Harry, there are people looking to take pictures and videos of you!" She scolded him.

"No one is looking at us here." He told her.

"Harry seriously someone gonna see us." YN worried.

"Okay." He pouted taking his arm off her but he grabbed her hand. Both of them got into his car quick and he started driving, same pout still playing on his lips.

"Don't pull out the Hebe trick on me Harry!" She warned him.

"It seems to work every time." He smiled cheekily, "do you want to go back to mine?"

"Seriously?" YN shot him a hard look.

"You need holy water." He rolled his eyes, "I was gonna say we could watch a movie or something or I'd read you this book I've been reading like old times."

"It was four years ago." She pointed out, "not that long."

"It is long time." He countered.

"And you need holy water. 'cause of your shenanigans I ended up getting pregnant!" She address his first comment with a punch on his bicep, recieved with an oof sound escaping his mouth.

"But you love the child born from those shenanigans!" He teased.

"Shut up!" YN rolled her eyes.

"No but seriously," he shot her a long glance before looking back on the road, "I really can not apologise enough for my shit, not going get those two years back but I'll try and make up for those for her and you."

"Harry, honestly, I'm trying to forgive you everyday and it's working because you're really proving yourself," she told him, "and I, uhh... I want you to promise me one thing please." She carefully grabbed his hand.

"Anything." He held her hand back.

"Just be there for Hebe even if we don't work out, okay? I know everyone is different, but I guess everything would have been very different for me if my dad was involved in my life, and I just want her to have both her parents." Her voice was watery, "just promise me you'll be there for her."

"I promise lovie." He turned to look at her, she was crying.

"I, I am sorry, I've been crying a lot lately." She shook her head, sniffling, rubbing her dace on the cuffs of her sleeves.

"No, it's okay. Don't do that, you'll hurt yourself." He grabbed her wrist stopping her from scratching her face with the rough fabric of her cardigan, "you can cry all you want, okay, it's good to let it all out. I've told you, you can talk to me about anything."

She nodded fixing her gaze at her hands in her lap. The whole ride back to Harry's was quite, he had his hand in hers the entire time. Once he parked his car in his driveway, he got out of his car.

"I, I can do that. Thank you." YN said when Harry was getting her door.

"House is awfully quiet, isn't it?" Harry chuckled opening the door, or usually it's Hebe talking both their ears off.

"It is." YN smiled agreeing.

Now Harry was feeling a little guilty for not having their princess with them, but he wants to have this time with YN. Harry wouldn't lie he was just worried about YN, he knows she doesn't like the idea of sharing things which are bothering her with anyone and only hurt herself more. He have heard from Samantha the other day that she doesn't even go to see her therapist regularly, and that she says it doesn't help her.

"Umm... Harry can you please ask your Mum if Hebe has gone to bed? Please?" YN requested setting her bag on the sofa in his living room. She could call and ask Anne about that herself, but she felt too anxious and scared that Anne might think she doesn't trust her with Hebe or something. It was better that Harry ask about it.

"Sure." He fished his phone out from his pocket, but stopped in middle of dialing his mum's number, "do you want anything lovie? Tea or anything to eat?"

"No, I'm good. Thank you."

Harry went in kitchen anyway and put the kettle of water to heat up as he called his mum. Hebe was all tucked in and fast asleep at her Grandma's, had a warm meal before and a very loud and fun day over all.

"Our Hebe is asleep, had her dinner and a blas before with Gems, Mum said." Harry told YN from the kitchen.

"Oh, that's nice. Thank you." YN was at ease that Hebe did not trouble her Grandma or Aunty.

"Ouch! Ouch!" Harry hissed in pain as he dropped hot over his hand in attempt to pour it in a mug. YN rushed in there to see him shaking his hand violently, as if he's trying to detach his hand from his arm. The spilled water was enough to tell YN what happened.

"Stop doing that you're going to hurt your wrist." She grabbed his wrist and turned on the tap in sink and held his hand under running cold water. His body visibly relaxed in instant. "Told you I don't need anything." She scolded him checking his hand for burns, his skin was just red but he was fine.

"But I wanted to make you tea." He smiled his frog smile at her once she looked up at him.

"But you almost burned yourself idiot." She shook her head, already cleaning up the mess he made on the counter. She hated mess, especially in kitchen. Even if it's not hers.

"Okay, okay I'm sorry." He pouted puffing his cheeks. "Stop that, I'll do it." He took the kitchen towel from her and set it aside for a while. "YN, is everything alright with you?"

She let out a sigh, "I am fine Harry. Please don't try to tell me to get help from a professional it does not work for me." She shook her head, "I- I am happy here. I'm trying to help myself get out of this."

"I'm not going to tell you what to do, just worried about you my love." He told her, "I can see you're happy and trying to help yourself, I'm so proud of you. We'll not talk about this if you don't want again."

With her hands in the counter, YN jumped up on the marble countertop, sat there with her feet dangling down. She felt weak in her body everytime talking about something that made her vulnerable.

"I just need my family around me." She shared, "even if they're not close to me. My grandparents were in a complete different continent but they were there for me but now they're gone as well. Had my dad, though he's been an asshole his entire life with me, but he was there. But here, it feels like home here, you know, that one week when you were not here. Gemma and your mum made it feel like home. It is like I've got my Mumma and sister back. I am happy and not sad any more. I am just tired of people telling me what to do when nothing helps me. But this does."

Even before all of this, YN was happy having Harry around. She found her family in him, and she was really doing very well. He made her happy after loosing her only family. But things happened and she was back to Zero. She really thinks no one is obliged to or entitled to help her, no one sticks around for that. She does not want to feel like a burden. Have people stick around in her life by her side just because she is sad and going through a very rough patch, just out of sympathy: that made her feel like a burden.

"I am sorry, I didn't mean to tell you what to do lovie." He took a careful step closer to her, "I'm glad you found your family again. Can I hug you?"

"Please." She nodded. Harry took another step closer to her and wrapped her in his arms, standing in between her thighs.

"I love you Harry." She whispered, her arms snaked around his shoulders.

"I love you too, darling." He reciprocated, "so much!" nuzzled his fave into her neck trying to hide his stupid smile caused by her confession. It was the time she said I love you to him since that day back in LA. He just stood there holding her in his arm. He thought she fell asleep feeling her grip loosen around him.

"No, don't go." She whined when he tried to pull away to check on her.

"I'm not, just thought you fell asleep." He caressed her back, earned a chuckle from her.

"Don't know when was the last time I really fell asleep since Hebe." She pulled apart herself now, wiped her face with her hands. He didn't pull away from her completely just stood here with his hands on her hips.

"Want to go to bed?" He suggested.

"Yeah. I'll sleep on the sofa."

"No you're not." He said with a firm tone.

"Stop, before you say anything-" he interrupted her.

"I promise, we'll just cuddle this time." He assure her, "unless you don't want to just cuddle."

"Oh god!" She rolled her eyes, "no, no, no!" Laughing, she pushed away gently so she can jump down.

"You're boring." He rolled eyes mocking her.

"I'm not. The last time you left Hebe inside me." She told him making him laugh.

"Isn't she the best thing though?" He shrugged started to walk to where his bedroom is grabbing her hand, basically dragging her with him.

"Hah! You have pink stairs!" YN chuckled. "Hebe is definitely a female version of you."

"I'd like to say that too." Harry smiled sweetly.

Before YN knew they were both standing in his closet. He was trying to fish out a shirt from a drawer still holding her hand by one of his. He looked though another drawer for pants.

Mean time YN looked around, she found an entire section in his closet dedicated to Hebe. Her little dresses hung up there nicely from the last time they were here in London for Christmas. Her pants and shirt were nicely kept in the little shelves. There was a toy car (which she can actually drive herself) in a corner with another tricycle, Harry got her for Christmas.

"Here you go." Harry's voice grabbed her attention from admiring Hebe's section in his closet, he held a pair of sweat pants and a comfy looking shirt.

Harry must have forgotten, his pants does not fit her. And since she's had Hebe her hips have gone a tiny bit wider. She never felt insecure about her body, she created a whole human from scratch in there after all, it just felt a bit embarrassing.

"Your pants don't fit me." She chuckled still taking the clothes from his hand.

"Oh, yeah." He scrunched up his nose remembering, "those jeans don't look comfy."

"It's okay, I've got a t-shirt dress in my bag I'll just wear that." YN said.

"You carry clothes with you?"

"I have to, sometimes I have to work at night, or stay over in editing studio." She explained.

"You definitely deserved that Oscar!" He commented following her like a puppy downstairs where her bag was.

"Stop, you're gonna give my alter ego a boost." She chuckled grabbing her bag. "And you basically kidnapped me from the sets."

"I did not." Harry gasped dramatically, "okay, I admit it. But you were busy talking to that guy, what's his name again? Tom. Yeah Tom, and I was waiting for you for five whole minutes."

"Yeah, so you grabbed my hand and dragged me with you." YN nodded her head taking out her dress from the bag.

"I was jealous." He admitted scratching the back of his neck. YN just laughed mockingly.

......................................................................

Lying in same bed as him felt nothing new to YN, it was just that his bed here is more comfy and so is the duvet. What felt new was not having Hebe next to her instead having Harry lied next to her, which shouldn't be that different as both of them look like same person.

"Mum said she'll drop off Hebe in morning as she's going out with her friends." Harry said.

"Yeah." YN nodded.

"Do you want to be little spoon?" He offered, it was shocking coming from him but YN would take it. She turned on her side facing him scooting closer.

"I prefer it this way." Her arms tucked between him and her, she scooted further down to use Harry bicep as a pillow and bury her face on side of his neck. He was quick to wrap her up nicely in his arms. He placed a tender kiss in her forehead.

"Good night lovely." He mumbled before kissing her head again.

"Good night Harry." She sighed in content.

......................................................................

YN slept like a baby that night.

She was woken up by tiny hand tapping her cheek, "Mummy."

It was Hebe cooing to her. YN almost forgot her Grandma was going to drop her off this morning, it was a surprise. A good surprise.

"Hi baby!" YN cooed.

"Good mornin'!" Hebe smiled sweetly standing by the bed.

"Good morning!" YN scooped her up in bed, Hebe slid under the duvet and cuddled into her Mummy. She checked her phone on the night stand for time. It was already past afternoon.

"It's afternoon now." YN sighed.

"I missed you." Hebe said swinging her small arm over YN's middle.

"I missed you too." YN reciprocated, "you did not trouble your Grandma, right?"

"No, we had so much fun!" Hebe shared.

"Hmm! Where is your dad?" YN enquired not finding Harry next to her. It was obvious he got out of bed, someone had to go get Hebe at the door.

"Downstairs." Hebe answered, "he said he's making waffles."

"Is he?"

"He definitely is!" Harry announced as he emerged through the door, a tray off food with two mugs and a glass of milk, a bowl of cut up strawberries and apples. He set the tray on the side table by "his" side of the bed.

"Grandma said Hebe did not wanted to have breakfast, she wanted to eat with us. So come on, budge up." He called Hebe over to his side.

"Why didn't you eat Bebe? I'm not going to leave you alone again then." YN said.

"No!" She whined.

"It's okay, she said she wanted to eat with us." Her dad came to her rescue. Hebe was quick to go to him to team up. She next to him with her arm swung over his shoulder, like they're Besties. Well, they are besties.

"You're just spoiling her."

"Hey, I'm not!" Harry whined.

"I'm gonna go use the restroom. And-" YN looked at her daughter, "-Bebe, are going to eat up."

"Yes Mummy." She said.

"Is she always like this?" Harry whispered to the little girl.

"Yes!" She snickered whispering back.

"I heard that!" YN announced.

When YN came back to where she left her daughter with her dad, she found them play fighting. Hebe sat on top of Harry as she threw pretend punches at him. YN did not know what was going on but it was very chaotic.

"What is going on here?" YN asked. Hebe got startled and actually punched Harry in his jaw.

"Ow!" He whined, it didn't hurt at all he was just overreacting on purpose.

"Oh my god, you alright?" YN rushed towards both of them and looked at Hebe's hand.

"I thought you'd check up on me," Harry pouted, "I'm the one who got punched."

"I know it didn't hurt you Harry, shush!" YN turned back to Hebe and kissed her small hands.

The little girl sat on her Mummy's lap as she had her dinner in bed, telling both her parents stories of how she helped her Grandma in the garden, how she potted a rose plant there and every fun thing she did. She was still definitely very much tired and exhausted as she was clinging onto YN a lot, and she was still in her PJs. YN knew she must have gave Anne a very hard time to change as Hebe hates to do anything, even change out of dirty clothes, when she's tired. She literally fell asleep in her dress cover in frosting on her birthday! and this was all just dirt and mud.

"Do you want to take a bath and change?" YN suggested.

"No." She mumbled cuddling into YN pulling up the duvet on the bed.

"Are you still tired princess?" Harry enquired, affectionately pushing her little baby hair out of her pretty face. She just nodded in answer. "Well, maybe we can just change into more comfortable clothes and cuddle all day, yeah?"

Her face lit up aa she glanced up at her Mummy (it is never expected from Hebe wanting to be in bed, especially in the day), she looked back at her dad.

"What do you say?" YN gave her a small kiss on the head.

Hebe is really a princess!

"Yes!" She nodded.

"Do you want to pick out your clothes?" Harry asked.

"No, I wan' Mummy to do it." She said, "pwease Mummy?"

"Your Mummy is tired too, why don't we go and get changed?" Harry felt bad for YN but what can he really do when their daughter wants her Mummy to do everything?

"No!" She pouted. YN's heart almost stopped beating seeing her eyes tear up.

"It's okay, you're not going to cry okay?" YN can never deny to her for anything even she was exhausted herself if that means her daughter never cries for any inconvenience. "Do you want leas the way please?"

"Yes!" Hebe was quick to hop down from bed and run to her dad's closet which had her clothes too. She picked out a shirt and pants and changed herself. She's learning to dress herself but she some times needs a bit of assistance.

"Yay, good job Bebe!" YN praised her fixing her shirt over her tummy.

YN was heading out but she saw something in one of the IKEA box in Harry's side of the closet. It was his black Hawaiian shirt with flamingos on it, she used to wear every time, so much that Harry just gave it to her. He didn't know why she loved that shirt so much she did so he gave it to her. But the night before they had their fight she left it at his flat among a few of her shirts, pants and a couple of dresses. Upon further inspection of the box she found her shirts and two dressed, he kept those!

It felt a tiny bit creepy that he brought them to London with him but made sense that he definitely did not lived in that rented flat. He lives in London and doesn't own any property in LA, until very recently, so it made complete sense why he'd bring his stuff back to his home in London.

Hebe giggling behind caught YN attention, "Dadda naky naky!" She made fun of her dad trying to find another shirt to wear, he'd dropped food on it earlier. YN found her reaction hilariously adorable. But her mood completely changed after looking at him, he clearly saw her going through that box as she was still crouched next to it. She just the stuff back in it and pushed it back into the shelf. She fled the room, Hebe hopped behind her Mummy like a little puppy.

It was weird okay!

She shouldn't be lurking around. It isn't her house. Doesn't matter if Harry would mind it or not, she doesn't even know how he felt finding uer going through rhat box. The way he looked at her with a little crease in between her brows, he looked a tiny man to her or she must be mistaking that. But she shouldn't be just going through stuff at his place.

But he could have had those donated... His shirt being there made sence but her clothes?

"Mummy can I pway game on your phone pwease? Fo' jus' a lil while?" Hebe caught YN attention wrapping her arms around her legs.

"Just for a little bit okay?" YN warned her before handing her the phone after making sure it's on airplane mode.

"Thank you, Mummy!" She jumped up on bed happily with the phone with her favourite Baking game on. Well, she made herself comfy there under the duvet.

"YN," Harry walked out of to the bedroom now fully clothed, "I—"

"I am sorry, I shouldn't be looking around like that." She said.

"No, darling, why are you sorry about that? Those are your clothes anyway." He rushed towards her but carefully, he's just too scared now to even make a move she wouldn't feel comfortable with.

"You kept my clothes?" It came out more as a question than a statement and nor as she intended.

"I, I didn't know what to do with them..." he stuttered, "I didn't wanted to get rid of them because they're yours."

"I seriously don't know what to say about that." She turned to look at Hebe, she was still into baking her little cakes on the game.

"I'm sorry, you can have those back if you want..." He didn't know what to say either.

"It's, it's okay, we'll look at that later. I think Hebe and I should head back now." She said.

"No, please!" He let out a whine, but a defeated one, like he doesn't want her or even Hebe to leave. "Look she's already comfortable in there, please? I just want you both to with me, we don't get to do that, nor we'll get to do that once our schedules get jam packed!"

"Mummy look!" Hebe turned her phone towards her Mummy, "I made you cake fo' your birfday!"

"Aw! Thank you baby! I hope it's delicious!" YN chirped happily, she just gave Harry a quick nod seeing Hebe's attention was on both of them now. He smiled and followed YN to his bed where Hebe was already tucked in under the duvet making cakes on her Mummy's phone, he slipped in from his side.

"Yeah! It's vanilla!" Hebe told her as her Mum likes that flavour.

"Is it!" YN pecked her head. "Do you want to maybe colour in your book now Hebe?"

"Okay." She shrugged, "my bag?" She looked around to find her bag which she took to her Grandma's last night.

"It's downstairs, do you want me to go get it for you?" Harry asked.

"I can get it!" Hebe stood up on the mattress and climbed off from Harry's side, almost kicking him in the balls accidentally trying to climb over him and then down from the bed.

"Let me—"

"She'll get it don't worry." YN stopped him seeing Hebe go downstairs by herself. He looked her worriedly.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude. She just hates it when you don't let her do her own things." She explained hurriedly, "I didn't mean to like... you know... be rude. I'm sorry." She felt as if she was telling him how to parents their daughter.

"Oh! Don't have to be sorry about that darling, I just personally think she might need a bit of supervision as she just three. I didn't take it as you being rude." He assured her, "you know her better than me anyway."

"You'll get ro know her. Took me three years and nine months- actually ten months because it's all scam that pregnancy is just for only nine months, no it's ten!- I still learn new things about her." YN ended her mini rant with a deep exhale.

"Mummy!" Hebe called from downstairs, she did not sounded hurt or anything it was just a normal call. Of course both her parents went down.

"Wha's wrong lovely?" Harry enquired.

"Look!" Hebe pointed out side the glass door leading to back yard, they saw two cats there fighting, the little girl looked very distressed. Maybe of the one who was loosing the fight.

"It's okay, they're fine." YN said, "oh, nope, they're not!" She added sheepishly seeing the cats go at each other.

"He's hurting him!" Hebe cooed sadly.

"I'll just shoo them away, yeah? They won't fight then." YN told her.

"They might attack you YN. Don't go out there." Harry warned her. YN was already out the door, tapping her foot on the grass to shoo away the feral felines. And they went their separate ways, it was good to shoo them away than having one of them kill the other.

"What?" She asked closing the sliding glass door as he walked back in.

"I forgot you used to work with animals." He told her, looking completely impressed and shocked at the same time.

"Mummy is super hero!" Hebe celebrated seeing those cats are now gone. YN just chuckled picked her up from the ground, she's not used to having such amazing compliments. Like she have an Oscar sitting on one of her shelves and she have heard many praises, bur nothing compares to when Hebe praises her, or even look impressed.

"Where is you bag?" Harry looked around and it was on the sofa.

They all sat down on the rud at the coffee table, colouring away in Hebe's drawing book. Hebe showed off how she can write ABCs all by herself and numbers one through ten to her Dadda for a hundredth time, if not a millionth.

......................................................................

It's a couple of days later...

Harry wouldn't lie he loves being home with his daughter and her mother. Like he has managed to make YN stay with both him and Hebe for all the days, they stayed over at her flat in London as YN didn't had her clothes at Harry's. He have keys to her flat so he can access to it in case Hebe need anything.

To YN he's being a complete angel that he is, watching Hebe as she worked. He even took Hebe to studio with him the day before. But today the Daddy and daughter decided to his house and make her a cake. It was YN's birthday and it seems like she habe forgotten about it. She was never enthusiastic about her birthday as to recent tragic memories being attached with it, she did not liked celebrating her birthday.

Harry and Hebe planned a cute surprise for her, they even called Gemma and Anne over to help with dinner. They made a very nice gourmet meal. It was going to be Pajama party with gourmet food.

Hebe was already ready, she had stolen a shirt from her mum's closet this morning, and luckily she did not dirty it. And it looked like a dress on her. And she had her blue socks with printed penguins on. She even put one of little hair clips on Binky the fox to dress it up a little as well for her Mummy's birthday!

"I just texted her and she said she'd be here in fifteen minutes." Harry announced, "she thinks she is coming to get Hebe for the night."

"Let's clean up quickly." Anne suggested. Harry followed her to kitchen to clean up and put the dishes from cooking in the dish washer.

They've put a little banner up which said Happy Birthday just above the breakfast bar, and lit up a few candles. They did everything all of them could in a very short time. Gemma suggested to DIY the birthday banner with pages from Hebe's book. And it was Hebe who wrote the message for her Mummy on it, helped her Aunty stick the papers with letters on a string and had her dad hang it up. Whilst her grandma was taking over the kitchen.

Hebe was really an event planner for everything, helping her Grandma, Aunty and Dadda. She did not three any tantrums today, she was being very good.

The door bell rang making all three of the adults look at the door like deer caught in headlights. THEY WERE NOT DONE!

"Harry go keep at the door for a few minutes!" Gemma whisper yelled at him.

"I don't know, I am scared!" He whisper yelled back at her.

"She's your girlfriend what the hell are you talking about! Go!" Gemma was trying to shoo him to the door.

"She's not my girlfriend!" Harry whined, but in a low voice so YN wouldn't hear him outside.

"Harry!" Now ut was Anne scolding him.

"Okay, okay, I'm going!" He nodded.

Hebe laughed at their reactions. Gemma grabbed Hebe and her and Anne went to the dining area which was not in view from the main door. Harry went to open the door and try to buy sone time for the girls to finish up plating food and last details.

He was nervous and his palms were sweaty. Last time he surprised for her birthday was very smaller than this, he got a cake from a bakery with sunflower icing on it, they had a very nice Pasta which she made, and danced in the kitchen. It was very romantic. He could have done that, in a less romantic way including Hebe with everything of course. He just wanted her to feel like she have her family back and give her a celebrate her birthday again. He finally opened the door.

"Hi!" He waved her at with his awkward frog smile.

"Hi," she said suspiciously, "where... is Bebe?"

"She's fine."

"Harry I swear ro god if she is hurt-"

"No she is not!" He assured her, "you want me to take that?" He took her bag from her, "how was your day?"

"This..." she pointed at the door saying she's still standing outside, "is rude..."

"Oh, sorry, come in. Come in!" He stepped aside.

"I'm just joking, get Hebe, I'm really tired just want to go home." She chuckled tiredly.

"No, come in. She must be in her room." He told her. He turned his head to the dining area acting as if he is scratching his scalp, he sighed getting a thumbs up from his mum. He opened the door complete and pulled her in and shut the door.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" all the girls screamed.

Anne was stood there behind the cake and lit up candles on the dining table, Hebe was clinging onto her Aunty like a koala, all of them had huge grins of their pretty, gorgeous faces.

YN was not expecting this. She was surprised at the sets today by the actors in her movie and her staff, after they packed up for the day. She was stuck there or else she would have came to rake Hebe three hours earlier.

"Happy Birthday Lovely." Harry cooed, standing next to her looking at her shocked face. She was frozen on her spot.

Anne reminded YN of her own mother and Gemma reminded her of her sister though her sister was alot younger.

It reminded her of the day from her seventeenth birthday, the same birthday the Polaroid was taken from which Harry was able to know her birth date, she was having a very bad week and she had a few tests on her birthday. And cried in the morning stressing about her tests, and she came to the similar surprise by her mother and sister. It was the best day, they ate her favourite Indian food which her mum made, her sister and her danced and had a blast that day. That was an amazing day and she doesn't remember wanting to celebrate her birthday from after that.

"Oh my god, tha- thank you!" She stumbled on her speech, feeling teary eyed. Yeah she got emotional. Tears made their way down her cheeks.

"Aw lovie, don't cry, it's supposed to be a happy day!" Harry cheered her up.

"I'm not crying!" She defended herself, fanning her face with her hands, "my eyes are sweating!"

That made every giggle. Anne walked towards her to wrap her up in a warm, motherly hug. YN couldn't help herself and just burst out in sobs as Anne wished her again, almost a whisper and just a secret between both of them. Feeling safe and sound in just a warm and positive embrace.

She guess it was a Mummy thing to wish their kids like that, she herself wished Hebe like that, and so did her own mother. And now Anne wished her like that, she was crying happy tears to have it all back to her.

Harry was definitely happy, knowing her tears her happy ones. He got a little emotional too he wouldn't lie, and so was Gemma. Seeing Anne hold YN tightly close to her and mumble sweet things to her, a few of them making her chuckle as she cried, Harry gelt truly happy!

"Mummy?" Hebe have gotten down from Aunty's arms and went up to her mum tugging at the hem of her top, she was successful to get her attention. YN crouched down to her height, to hug her.

"I love you Mummy!" She mumble sweetly wrapping her arms around YN's neck.

"I love you more!" YN reciprocated.

It was one of just few times Hebe have seen her Mummy cry, like last time she pulled apart to wipe her with her tiny hand.

"It's okay, I'm here." She told her mummy making everyone chuckle and coo. "Why you sad Mumma?"

"I'm not sad, I'm just very very happy." YN kissed her cheek. Hebe gasped as she remembered.

"Dadda and I made you cake!" She announced.

"Did you?" YN was surprised that the cake was homemade.

"Yes we did!" Harry chirped from behind.

"Wess go and cut it!" Hebe dragged her num to dining table, she climb up on the chair and stood next to her mum.

They all sang her birthday song like she's a little baby as she cut into her birthday cake, after blowing out the candles. They all had dinner together and had the cake for dessert. Anne made some amazing Risotto and vegan stake (because Gemma is vegan).

It was a very fun night for YN, especially after her staff and actors on the sets surprised her, and now this.

After a little while Anne and Gemma went back to their own homes. Harry and Hebe cleaned up after quickly threatening YN fhat she won't be stepping a foot in kitchen.

"Hebe didn't you made a card for your Mummy?" Harry asked.

"Oh yes!" Hebe ran to the living room and got her card for he Mummy.

"Oh thank you baby!" YN cooed and pulled her baby up on her lap and opened her card.

It said nothing but Happy Birthday Mummy I love you in messy yet neat hand writing. YN chuckled at that.

"You wrote this yourself?" YN enquired, she's just three she doesn't know how to spell quite just yet.

"Mhmm! Aunty helped me!" She smiled her toothy grin. "And look!" She even turned around the card and there she had drown her stick figure family. Everyone have smily faces and it was the cutest thing ever!

"Tha's you, me an' Dadda!" She explained pointing at each stick figure.

"It's very adorable, thank you Bebe!" YN gave her a big cuddle. "It's bed time now, let's go home or you want to stay here?"

"Stay." She shrugged.

"Okay, then let's get you ready for bed then yeah?"

"I'll take her, you just relax!" Harry came out the kitchen just in time.

YN sat on sofa, going through her phone, Samantha and Camryn have left her so many messages, there was video of Alvin wishing her and even Macy's mum sent her a video of Macy wishing YN for her birthday. Samantha and texted for a little, she was going off about how much she misses Hebe.

"Mummy?" It was Hebe grabbing her attention, she was all ready for bed in her favourite Spiderman PJs. "Will you read me book?"

"Of course, let's go." YN kept her phone to a side and took Hebe to her room.

It's just been five days, YN and Harry putting her to bed together. Harry read her different books and sometimes Hebe demanded his Mummy to read her one book. She's getting so used to having both her parents together, they have all the meals together, do all bunch of fun stuff. She's been very happy and she haven't asked her friends back in LA yet.

Though YN and Harry were not yet together, for Hebe they were. She was getting to used to having her dad confess his love for her mother openly in front of her, she was a little less possessive over her dear Mummy now. Though YN was taking it very slow with Harry, she would reciprocate his words some times and sometimes act like she didn't hear them, just so she doesn't hurt his feelings. She even opted to sleep in guest bedroom from the past two nights.

"YN she's asleep." Harry told YN grabbing her attention, she was really into the story. She sighed and closed the book taking a mental note to read it by herself as it was very interesting.

"Do you want to go to bed or should we go downstairs?" Harry asked as he shut Hebe's door quietly.

"I think I should go back to mine for the night." YN said already following him downstairs.

"I wanted to talk." He stopped on the last third step and turned around to look at her.

"About?" She enquired.

"I don't know, just whatever..." He shrugged going back to walking down the last three steps.

YN was scared. She didn't know why, maybe because she did not know what he wanted to talk about, but by the look on it face it was pretty clear that he knows what he wants to say. But also, he didn't looked serious, angry, or even scary, he just held out his hand for her to grab it. She hesitantly slipped her hand in his and let him guide her to the living room.

"What do you want to talk about?" She asked again, ut was very evident she was scared of something to him.

"I don't know how to and where to start." He gave her an honest answer and that made her heart beat pick up a new pace.

"I want to ask you something, you know we've been doing this... uh... this co-parenting thing for a little over ten months now." He tried to explain a little story for his forthcoming question, "why do seem to lost to me? Like, I know it's pretty obvious now, I just want us to be together like a 'typical' family, YN, I want to call you my girlfriend and not just mother of my daughter. I want to be called you boyfriend. You are not letting me in, did I hurt you that bad?"

Now he looked hurt, he's been trying his best to fix everything. His eyes looked two shades darker in dim lights in living room, and she swore she saw tears pooling up in his eyes.

"I swear I didn't mean to, I'm trying to fix everything and I completely understand and know it's hard not to think of the past, I'm so, so sorry for hurting you that bad, YN." And a tear rolled down his cheek, "I've just fell in love with idea of us living together, watching our daughter grow up, you know what I mean?" He let out a long shaky breath.

"I completely understand if you want anything to do with me, I at least tried." He ended his little vulnerable rant there. YN listened to him carefully, he usually uses words precisely, this was the most she remembers seeing him talk, when he's even a little vulnerable. It is hard to get him to talk.

"You did hurt me, yeah you did. But I'm trying to move past that and leave it behind. It's just I worry a lot about our baby." She shared, "I am sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you any way. I am just taking it day by day."

"You didn't. It just makes me sad you've just built your walls very high." He explained. YN reached to take his hand in hers carefully.

"I don't mean to, I— is it because I sometimes avoid you?" She asked suddenly realising she does that a lot, subconsciously, but it is very frequent. He just nodded, "oh no, Harry, I am sorry, I don't mean to. There is just always so much going on in my head, and Hebe is very distracting, I am so sorry!" She rushed her words clasping his hand inbetween her both, pressing a kiss on his knuckles.

"You don't do that because you're mad at me?" He enquired.

"No!" She cooed, "no, I don't!"

"Oh god, I love you so much!" He sighed, and pulled her in a bear hug, she was not expecting this reaction from him. "I promise, we'll get through this, I love you so much. I love our princess so much!"

"I love you too Harry!" She reciprocated, wrapping her own arms around his neck, caressing his hair tenderly. "I just need you to trust me, okay? I would never lie to you about anything."

"I'm sorry lovie," he mumbled against her shoulder.

"I know, everything is going be fine." She assured him but realised she's talking like she's having a conversation with Hebe. Harry chuckled pulling apart enough to look at her.

"This is getting awkward." She pointed out making him laugh.

"I know, it's okay." He mocked her tone jokingly as she talked to their daughter.

"For a hundredth time, I do not sound like that!" She exclaimed puffing her cheeks up in offence, even her friends make light hearted jokes on her cooing voice to the kids she doesn't take it to offence but she did now. Harry giggled wrapping his arms around her, she tried to push him but his grip was tight around her.

YN didn't know how touch starved she was, it was almost a foreign feeling to be held like that. She took the opportunity leaned her head over his head earning almost a very rewarding forehead kiss from him.

"I missed this." Harry mumbled against her.

She chuckled softly, "me too!"

"Did you? You were giving me a hard time from past ten months." He teased. She didn't said anything and just closed her eyes taking in the scent of his perfume.

"Did you just fell asleep lovie?" Harry enquired not feeling her move at all.

"No." She mumbled, "I just feel very calm."

She earned a kiss on her head, as his hand drew soothing circles on her back.

"Me too." He mumbled smiling as he pressed his cheek on top of her head. He felt just so content having to her hold her like that, like she's his personal cuddle bear. But YN pulled apart breaking their hug.

"Can you kiss me, please?"

Yes the question came from her. Harry was honestly surprised but wouldn't hesitate to admit it he's been waiting for the moment since the night he saw her at the beach after Halloween trick or treat night.

"You sure you want me to?" He enquired, feeling nervous as if it's his first kiss. It was technically their first kiss after three and half; almost four years after.

"Mhmm!" She nodded. "If you want to, of course."

"Fuck yeah I want to kiss you!" He got a little excited making her laugh softly. With hand on the back of her neck he pulled in closer, smearing his lips on her's in most tender way she have ever felt him kiss her. His little peck on her lips last all of three seconds but it felt like he pulled back a little too quickly, he embraced her in another hug.

"Happy Birthday!" He whispered but it was supposed to be an exclamation.

"It was the best birthday I've had in a long time, thank you." She mumble.

"You deserve the best." He sighed deeply, "I love you." He reminded her again, voice wavering, "so much!"

"I love you too." She broke away from their hug just enough to be able to take a loot at him, the tears on his face confirmed his watery voice.

"Awh!" She cooed cradling his face in her hands as she placed a kiss on his cheek, he smiled as deep dimples dented either of his cheeks, crinkles creasing by the corner of his eyes.

"Can I call you lovely now?" He asked, "I know you look at me like you're going to rip my heart off my chest. You're just very lovely not to be called lovely." His wrapped around her wrists, pulled both her hands to his heart.

"I love it when you call me that. I was mad, I didn't know I intimidated you that much." She teased him.

He scoffed, "intimidate? Me?"

"Mhmm!" She nodded in slow pace mocking him.

"Whatever helps you sleep." He rolled his eyes dramatically.

"Oh admit it." She scoffed pulling her hands away from him and leaning back.

"Back when you were mad, yeah, but now I am not." He leaned back too proudly mirroring her posture with a proud look on his face. "Because I know you've turned back to your old self now, I prefer her more."

"Huh! Why?"

"You were very bubbly back then."

"Don't make it feel like it's been a millennium, it's just been four years." She told him.

"That's a long time." He whispered to keep it a secret just between the two of them, as if they're not alone in living room.

"You chopped off your hair, you dress like a businesswoman Mummy, you talk less." He started his explanation, "old YN liked to rant about most random shit. Don't get me wrong I loved to listen to her."

"Why are you talking about me in front me like I am thrid person?" She huffed a chuckle.

"Listen, listen, I have more  old YN wore dresses, you know I liked to rip those off. And oh her long hair—"

"Stop it!" She interrupted him, "I'm leaving." She got up to leave.

"Hey, hey I was just joking,I was joking." He chuckled, getting up to stop her from actually leaving to go back to hers in middle of the night.

"No funny business Harry, I am serious." She warned.

"No funny business, those two kisses are enough to hold me till morning, we can at least go to bed together." He suggested, "I promise no "funny business", unless you want it to be funny." He said wiggling his fingers in air to mimic air quotation marks.

"I am leaving." YN shook her head as he tried to leave.

"You've got boring."

"Well, you have to deal with it, don't have any other option unless you don't want to." She shrugged.

"Come on, I promise I'll keep my hands to myself." He promised, already walking to the pink staircase. What can he say? He loves to fall asleep cuddling, it's usually his little princess.

[fallingsunflower]

Hi loves.

Thank you to whoever reached out and for all the messages. I appreciate you all ❤️ For those wondering, one of my best friends had a seizure the other day hence my abrupt absence. I saw her over the weekend and she’s okay - just a little shaken up. She’s going to a neurologist tomorrow.

I’m still going to be taking a break. I’ve been enjoying being offline and away from social media, and just away from Harry stuff in general. I’m not sure when I’ll be back but I’ll pop back on every now and then until I turn my asks back on.

I did get a couple questions in my dms I wanted to address real quick.

1) about the pop up shops - I think it’s very obvious Harry is highly biased towards LA, London, and NYC. It’s nothing new and I’m not sure what to say about it. I feel bad for those in different states/countries though. Seems unfair.

With that being said, and this does feel a bit insensitive to mention it now so I apologize, I happen to have an opportunity to visit the Pleasing pop up shop. I’m unsure if I even want to but I’ll let you know if I do. One of my friends wants to go with me.

2) Yes, prices are higher than last time (at least for the apparel). Seems expected considering there’s an actual design on it but I found it funny that the website had to justify the cost of their products through the descriptions of them.

3) I found it odd within only a couple of hours or so, all apparel 2x and up was sold out. Could very well be a coincidence but I suspect there’s a lower amount of inventory for those sizes than the other sizes.

4) I saw Harry’s Instagram post. I suggest unfollowing if you don’t like what he posts. His account is HSHQ 2.0 at this point. Seems silly to even expect a personal post from him at this point 🤷‍♀️

5) I also saw Olivia’s post. I found it odd she’s thanking people for her birthday, 5 days later. And on the Pleasing launch day, nonetheless. But it should be unsurprising considering this has been a common trend. Like I’ve been saying for MONTHS now - it’s association. “Think of Harry, think of me”. And clearly, it works.

Also I don’t think those were daisies. I think those flowers were asters. They’re very common in New York, if that’s where she was 🤷‍♀️ They’re also from the same family but the actual flower is slightly different so do with that what you will.

Asters:

Daisies:

Olivia’s pic:

[earnestly-endlessly]

Hi! I'm wondering if you can make a list of fics where Erik's jewish heritage isn't ignored? I just came across the fact that a lot of authors don't explore this part of him for some reason and i found it kinda upsetting so i'm wondering if you have any recs! I liked "As They Kiss, Consume" and "Who Shall be King Hereafter" by sherwoodfox, in case anyone who's reading this ask is interested in the same topic.

Hi Anon. I'm sorry for taking so long with this list but your request sent me on a wide search for fics that fit with your request. I tried to find a variety of fics where Erik's Jewish heritage is addressed. Some of them aren't necessarily cherik, but most of them are. I hope you enjoy this list.

Mistletoe, Latkes, and Long-Term Revenge Strategies – pocky_slash

Summary: Charles knows that Erik hates working at a department store in the best of times. Being Jewish in a department store during the holiday season is far from the best of times. He does what he can to help.

A Nice Boy (the Family Matters Edition) – pocky_slash

Summary: Erik's not sure whether the problem is that he doesn't want his parents to meet Charles or that he doesn't want Charles to meet his parents. Either way, he never invites Charles to brunch. Why should he? It's not like they're dating.

A Road Trip to Pennsylvania – Aainiouu

Summary: For a year Charles has nurtured the biggest and most embarrassing crush known to man towards Erik. They are friends and roommates and when Erik asks Charles to accompany him to home on Thanksgiving of course Charles goes.

In the Bleak Midwinter – keire_ke

Summary: It is not easy to find out, well into the second decade of the twenty-first century, that your mother arranged a marriage for you. It is even less easy to convince her that you have no interest in the very fertile Magda, she of the wide hips and lustrous auburn hair. Fortunately, with a good friend at his side over the holiday weekend, Erik is sure he will prevail.

Speech Making – phalangine

Summary: Modern Emma AU- Charles Xavier, accomplished matchmaker and headmaster of North America’s preeminent school for mutants, intends to add another notch to his belt: setting up his friend Moira. His oldest friend, Erik, has doubts about this plan.

Charles doesn’t share them.

This is life (and everything’s all right) – pocky_slash

Summary: Edie Lehnsherr came into Charles' life long before he ever heard Erik Lehnsherr's name, and her death left a gaping hole in the lives of everyone in Charles' family. As the first Purim without her approaches, he begins to get creative in his efforts to bring everyone out of their grief. Kitchen creativity, however, is not quite his strength....

Bashert – AvengingAngel

Summary: Erik and Charles meet and fall in love. I wanted to write a story where Erik had a huge family. Pretty fluffy (for me anyways). I suck at summaries.

Note: The summary doesn’t reveal much but if you’re looking for a fic where Erik is jewish and has a large family with a heavy dose of cherik fluff and angst then this one is for you.

Math Reasons – pearl_o,  pocky_slash

Summary: "Mom says Erik always knows what he wants, it just sometimes takes him a little while to actually realize it," Ruth said.

Charles fell in love with Erik the first night they met, the first week of freshman year. Two years of friendship, adventures, arguments, hijinks, secrets, and summer visits later, Erik is starting to catch up.

Ser

It’s kind of our whole things – pearl_o, pocky_slash

Summary: After two years of best friendship, Charles and Erik thought they knew everything there was to know about each other. They're surprised, then, when their first summer as a couple reveals that they have a lot to learn about each other and themselves.

Sequel to Math Reasons

A Winter in New York – nextraordinaire

Summary: Charles and Erik have been childhood friends for as long as they can remember – Erik, living with his mother in Queens, and Charles in the big mansion in Westchester. For all, expect themselves, it was just natural progression that they'd end up together.

A series of ficlets from the same universe – can be read as separate and are out of chronological order.

Baby, It’s Cold Outside – heyjupiter

Summary: "It's just, this is my first Chanukah away from my parents. And it's--it's like 90 degrees out."

Erik Lehnsherr and Kitty Pryde celebrate a Genoshan Chanukah. It's a little different from the way it used to be in New York, but some unexpected visitors help them embrace the spirit of the holiday season.

Hold Back the Rain (front!strict mashup) – euphorbic

Summary: Charles Xavier: society darling, powerful political activist, well-known professor, and Dominant.

Erik Lehnsherr: anti-social, international motorcycle racer, and defiant submissive.

Erik is at Sepang in Malaysia for the fourteenth leg of the International World Championship. After doing poorly in qualifying, he's furious to find he has to take another VIP around the track instead of meeting Charles at the KL airport.

The Swan – waitfornight

Summary: In 1939 Erik and his sister Ruth are sent to Devonshire, England, during the Kindertransport refugee program to live with Kurt and Sharon Marko as foster children just before the start of World War II. Angry and wishing he could return home on the night of his seventeenth birthday, Erik meets a boy alone in the forest who is cursed to transform each day into a swan, only taking his true form by night.

Swan Lake AU.

The boy with the heart on his sleeve – euphorbic

Summary: Charles loses a high-stakes bet to Raven and is required to get a tattoo. However, when he makes a disparaging remark about the art form, Raven's acerbic mentor, Erik, steps in.

Or, the one where Erik and Raven are tattoo artists.

The Wurst Case Scenario – sareyen

Summary:If anyone asked why Charles, come rain, wind or shine, made the significant trek during his dismal lunch hour to dine at "Edie's Kosher Delicatessen", he would stubbornly say that it was because their pastrami on rye and potato knishes were absolutely to die for. He wasn't completely lying, because the deli's namesake, Edie Lehnsherr, made the best matzah ball soup Charles has ever had in his life. Still, Charles would rather shave his full head of hair off than admit that the real reason he would willingly walk through hail and fire to get to the corner deli was because of Erik, the insanely attractive man working the counter.

Sure, Erik has barely spoken two words to Charles other than "Hello, what can I get you?" or, after the third day in a row that Charles came to the deli, "Welcome back, what can I get you?", but Charles was more than happy to just ogle at the man from afar while devouring the juicy wurst Erik had put together with his (large and very capable) hands.

But, little does Charles know, Erik doesn't usually work the front counter. He only does it when he knows the cute blue-eyed man will be dining in.

This is life (and everything’s all right) – pocky_slash

Summary: Edie Lehnsherr came into Charles' life long before he ever heard Erik Lehnsherr's name, and her death left a gaping hole in the lives of everyone in Charles' family. As the first Purim without her approaches, he begins to get creative in his efforts to bring everyone out of their grief. Kitchen creativity, however, is not quite his strength....

c'est regarder ensemble dans la même direction – melonbutterfly

Summary: Since that day on the beach, Charles and Erik have learned to agree to disagree for the sake of living and working together. Then, for Christmas, and Charles gives Erik Hanukkah back a second time, and their relationship shifts a little further.

Terrible Hanukkah Sweaters and Other Life Challenges – professor

Summary: “Why am I here again?” Erik groans.

“I need you to lift things and glower at people over my shoulder when I tell people that it’s not ‘politically correct’ or a ‘war on Christmas’ to have a non-denominational winter holiday festival,” says Theresa Pryde.

Well, at least those are two things he’s good at.

Shrapnel – librata

Summary: It's late 1940, and tensions between the Axis and the Allies are tightening. Displaced and alone, 16-year-old German Jew Erik Lehnsherr finds himself employed as a servant by some snobby, terrible family in England whose house is far too big and whose money never seems to end. The worst part is, he isn't just mucking stables or cleaning plates–-he's tasked with tending to the whiny, disabled son named Charles, who might just drive Erik into absolute madness.

Or, the World War II fic in which Erik and Charles experience a changing world and a lot of teen angst.

Defying Expectations – Baamon5evr

Summary: Charles and Erik meet each other’s family. Neither of them gets what they expect.

table for three – pocky_slash

Summary: Erik should have known to call ahead to the Chinese restaurant--it's Christmas Eve and he lives in a predominantly Jewish neighborhood, after all. But before he can go home to mourn the loss of another one of his mother's yearly traditions, he's accosted by a teenage girl with a strange proposition--that he should stay and have dinner with her and her mother, instead.

different from all other nights – metonymy

Summary: "This year we are slaves; next year we will be free." Kitty and Erik host a seder for Passover at the Xavier School.

Libertad – ariadnes_string

Summary: Erik knew the look, had seen it his whole life, even before the war.  ”You, with your height and blue eyes and straight nose, you can pass. You can be free of us. You are not marked with your difference.” If you only knew, he’d thought then. He thought the same thing now. And it was that thought, as much as anything, that made him move towards the gate.

Wash Away – sebastian2017

Summary: One quiet, lonely morning, before Yom Kippur, Erik makes his way to the sea in search of forgiveness.

After? There is No ‘After’ – Unrepentant_Marvelist

Summary: Erik knows what he is for. He has known his responsibilities as a survivor since the moment he woke under a scratchy, lice-infested blanket in the Red Army hospital. His world is painted in lucid blacks and whites (so often splashed in red) and there is no room for uncertainty or indecision... until a certain sunburned Englishman throws himself into his world.

The Children of an Idle Brain – Margo_Kim

Summary: Sometimes, when he’s lucky, Schmidt can’t hurt him. It’s like there’s a room inside of Erik’s head that’s he’s usually locked out of, that won’t open no matter if he beats himself bloody against it. On those days, he endures. But sometimes—and Erik doesn’t know why, whether it’s that the stars align or some higher power takes pity or Erik screams loud enough to earn his reward—the door opens. Erik can duck inside and slam it behind him and watches himself through the windows as Schmidt slowly, methodically tortures him to strength.

These days, this past week, there’s a boy in the room with him and he tells Erik, “That’s horrible,” like that means something.

Somehow, across the world, Erik's and Charles' minds touch when they need each other most. They can't be sure that the other boy is real. They suspect that he is not. But that doesn't mean they aren't each other's lifeline until they lose each other and then for a while longer.

Tehillim – kvikindi

Summary: Erik, in Israel, afterwards: another life he could have had. If.

I fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) – childishinquiry

Summary: Erik has worn long sleeves his whole life, even before they had to wear yellow stars. Marching along his arm, in neat, black, English letters, are the words "My name's Charles Xavier."

Precious Few Years – sherwoodfox

Summary: Erik and Charles (known only to each other by the letters inscribed on their wrists) are meant to be together, soulmates, destined for the most powerful kind of love and connection a human being can experience.

But they are separated in almost every possible way- by distance, by circumstance, by language, by war. Their chances of success- of finding one another in the labyrinth of the world- are very slim. There is a reason why most people never find their soulmates.

But of course, Charles and Erik aren't ordinary children-

They have their gifts.

[evil-moonlight]

Thank you so much for the tag @pequenaroo. <3 <3 <3 I appreciate you a lot!! I've read yours and it fascinates me just how cool you are of a person. I am glad to get to know you. <3

Nickname: I am usually called Jin, Rej, Rejin, Ren, Renj, Renji, Rere, Michi, Mich, Din, Den.

Star sign: Cancer

Height: 5'0 💁‍♀️

Time: 11:55 AM

Birthday: June 23

Favorite bands: Kodaline, Sleeping At Last, IV of Spades, Cigarettes After Sex, Coldplay, Eraserheads, Radiohead, Ben&Ben, etc.

Favorite solo artists: Birdy, Hozier, Lana Del Rey, Zild Benitez, Lauren Aquilina, Adele, Ruth B, Kacey Musgraves, James Bay, Moira De La Torre, Aurora, Bruno Mars, Taylor Swift, etc.

Favorite Foods: Lechon, Adobo, Crispy Pata (so filipino mode XD), takoyaki, sushi and sashimi, fried and steamed siomai, carbonara pizza, anything as long as it's food lol

Favorite colors: Black, golden yellow, pink

Last thing I googled: Steps on how to do the pixie cut hairstyle (done at home).

Last show I watched: Ghost Doctor (Last show I rewatched, Bad and Crazy / currently watching, Dangerous Partners)

Last movie I watched: Once again, I'm stuck with rewatching. Last movies were Atonement, The Merciless, Hwayi: A Monster Boy (yes, rewatching these at the same time is possible).

Lucky number: 4 (no reason)

When did I create this blog? Around September last year (I guess). That was when I was searching for Killer and Healer script/novel translated in English, and since I found excellent reviews instead, I ended up creating this blog 'cause I too wanted to write.

Do I have any other blogs? Yes, unfortunately — I cannot access that anymore because I made that one around 2012 (when I used to be a feral kpop fan) and I was too young and too dumb to even memorize my password. Lmao.

Do I get asks? Yes, sometimes. The first one I got was when I was asked if I'm a human or not (but that idiot is a close friend of mine, lol) and I had to really analyze myself just to know the answer like I always did back in college days while solving accounting problems. Af. It was the hardest ask ever! xD

Why did I choose my URL? Evil (because I want to always be reminded about Beyond Evil) and Moonlight (because the word reminds me of Jiang Yue Lou and Chen Yu Zhi from Killer and Healer).

Blogs you follow: woah, didn't expect it would already reach 290 Tumblrs. (majority of them come from the merciless evil devil from hell megafandom, BL, and minority are the poetry enthusiasts)

Dream trip: I'll start with the local tourist destinations here in the Philippines, apart from my own, another Southeast Asian country would be Thailand (just because I'm always mistaken as Thai, lol) then I would love to travel around some parts of East Asia particularly Japan and Taiwan, and the most interesting part is visiting Europe (UK, Italy, Ireland, Netherlands — Amsterdam (the Anne Frank House), Finland, Greece, and Spain (because one of my best friends is currently living there), actually I want to visit the whole Europe. XD), also Algeria, Morocco, and New York City (at the public library where Ash died peacefully reading Eiji's letter 😭, like I'll be having a Bananafish adventure).

Instruments: used to play guitar, and now I'm starting to learn ukulele, and would love to try the piano in the nearest future.

Average hours of sleep: weekdays would be 6-7 hours, weekends would be no sleeping schedule or if I'm lucky enough, 3-4 hours (I know it's not good for the health but)

How many blankets do you sleep with? One is enough.

No pressure tags: @inescated @sashkitty @kimsunho @lamaladelcuento @we-will-fall-in-hell-together 💖

[all-my-love-for-harry]

And now we’re four.

summary: a family of three becomes a family of four.

word count: 2.9k

Based on these requests:

“i love my little shy boy, it's so cute!! what do you think about artemis getting a little sibling? like maybe one of his friends is getting one and he asks y/n and harry if he can have one too? or maybe y/n and harry are actually trying for a baby? the thought of artemis with a little baby sibling is killing me omg”

and

“I absolutely love your shy!boy series! Harry, Artemis, and Y/N are just so damn adorable together. I was wondering how all three would handle if (Y/N) was pregnant?”

and

“Hii ! I’m in love with your shy little boy series !!!! I was wondering if maybe you could write something about Y/N being pregnant, and Harry being over the top obsessed with her pregnancy/ the little bub and how Artemis would react?🥺👉🏼👈🏼”

and

“Hello! I’m absolutely obsessed with the My Shy Little Boy series! Can we get a blurb about Artemis calling Harry, on Y/N’s phone, in the middle of the night because he’s scared?”

and

“Can you do one where Artemis is curious as to why one of his classmate's mum has a bump on her tummy and when he finds out why he keeps asking for a little sis/bro🥺”

a/n: i’ve got many request to expand this little family so i thought i’d give it a go! Sorry for taking so long!

you can find more of my shy little boy here

*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･:*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･:

February, 2020.

Ever since signing those papers, no one could wipe off the smile in Harry’s face. The endless amount of love he had for his family only seemed to multiply. Despite how sad he felt after he couldn’t give the concert the night before his birthday, he still spent the best day with the love of his life and his son.

Unfortunately, that was the calm before the storm. The following weeks Harry would be very busy doing promo for the album. He had some interviews and shows between Los Angeles, Washington and the last stop would be New York.

Y/N and Artemis had to go back to London when their long weekend was over, to return to their normal routines. Although at first the little boy tried to throw a fuss, Harry was quick to promise it would only be for a short time and he’d call every single night before he went to bed so Artemis could talk to him about his day.

It was always the same with them, Artemis had this strong attachment to Harry, one that he devolved as soon as he started trusting him more. Not that Harry would ever complain, the feeling was mutual honestly. The two of them were inseparable, Artemis wanted to do whatever Harry was doing all the time and the latest loved every single second of it.

One year into their relationship, Harry started buying matching outfits for him and Artemis, claiming he wanted them to match at all times. It was the cutest thing for those who get the chance to watch it.

“Promise you’ll call every night?” Artemis asked Harry, who was crunched down at his eye level. He had big, crocodile tears rolling down. Harry’s heart broke as he pulled his little boy for another hug, squeezing him tight to his chest.

“I promise, monkey” After one last squeeze, he let go of Artemis and went back on his feet. “Please call me as soon as you land” He now told Y/N before embracing her.

“I will. I love you so much” She said before closing the short distance between her lips and his. Harry hummed into the kiss, memorizing this exact moments so the following weeks won’t be so hard to live. “Have a safe flight”

“You too, baby” He pecked her lips one more time before looking down at his son. “You gonna take care of mummy for me, champ?”

Artemis nodded while whipping his tears and taking a deep breath. A voice called their flight and that was their call to leave. Harry would be flying to Los Angeles later that day so he needed to get going too.

He looked at his family one last time and sighed, already missing them. It will definitely be hard, but he was confident they’ll pull through.

*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･:

Harry woke up in the middle of the night because his phone wouldn’t stop ringing. He groaned before sticking one arm out of under his pillow and started to look for it. When he found it, he groaned even louder when he saw what time it was.

Without even looking at the ID, he answered the phone. His voice was deeper than usual and he was still half asleep but he managed to mumble ‘what’ to the other line.

“Daddy?” a shaky voice in the other end of the line answered him, making Harry jump out of the bed, immediately alarmed by the tone of his son’s voice.

“Hey, bud. What are you doing awake? Where’s mummy?”

“Daddy, I’m scared”

“Everything’s okay, baby. Tell me where you are”

“In yours and mummy’s bedroom” he mumbled.

“And where is mummy?”

“In the bathroom” he paused to take a deep breath. “I asked the voice in mummy’s phone to call you” Harry and Y/N had been teaching Artemis how to call them during an emergency using Siri.

“It’s okay, sweets. Can you tell me why are you afraid?” Harry was really hoping Artemis just had a nightmare or something, because he already felt powerless being miles away from them.

“I couldn’t sleep so I wanted to ask mum if I could sleep with her but when I entered the room she wasn’t there” He paused to breathe. “She’s throwing up in the bathroom, daddy. What do I do?”

In Artemis’ little six year old mind, he was responsible for his mum because Harry told him to take care of her. Before Harry could respond he heard how a door was opened and Y/N’s voice at the other end of the line.

Harry waited until Y/N had her phone back to talk again. “Hey, I’m sorry he woke you up” She said.

“He told me you were throwing up, are you okay?” Now he was worried for her.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I think I caught a stomach bug” She sighed. Y/N was now laying on her side of the bed while Artemis was cuddled to her side. “But I’m okay now”

“You sure?” Harry passed a hand through his face, rubbing the sleep off.

“Positive” She hummed. “When are you back?”

“Just two more weeks, baby. Please tell me if you’re still feeling bad tomorrow”

“I will. I bet it’ll be gone by tomorrow” She covered a yawn with the back of her hand.

“Would you put me on speaker? Wanna say goodnight to the lad” She did what Harry said and moved the phone closer to Artemis so he could hear clearly.

“Daddy?”

“Hey, monkey. Will you get some rest now?” Artemis hummed a yes. “I’m counting down the days to see you, kiddo”

“Me too, daddy”

“Good night, baby. I love you”

“I love you more” He yawned, cuddling even closer to Y/N. He was much more relaxed now that his mummy was okay.

“And I love you, Y/N”

“I love you, H. Sorry for waking you up again”

“No, please. Wake me up anytime, lover”

*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･:

March, 2020.

Y/N’s stomach bug hasn’t gotten any better. She kept throwing up every day, so Harry decided to change his flight and come home earlier than planned. He was supposed to go to Los Angeles for another week, but it was mostly to visit some people while he was still in the States so he figured he could do that other time.  

He was waiting for his flight to be called, bouncing his leg anxiously. He couldn’t wait to go back home and do absolutely nothing but spend time with his family until it was time to go on tour.

His phone started ringing so he grabbed it from the pocket of his jacked and smiled when he saw his mum was calling him.

“Hi, mum” He said cheerily.

“Hi, darling. How are you?”

“I’m good, waiting in the airport for my plane”

“I thought you would stay there until next week?”

“Y/N isn’t feeling great so I’m flying early” He shrugged. Taking the decision to change his flights wasn’t a hard one, his girlfriend was sick and it was his job to take care of both her and his son.

Anne smiled even though Harry wouldn’t be able to see her. “That’s nice. I’ll give her a call to see if she needs something”

“Thanks mum. I’m sure she’d appreciate that”

They kept talking for a little more, catching up. He was looking forward spending more time with his mum once he was back. “Harry” Anne called him.

“Yeah?”

“When are you gonna pop the question, son?”

“What question?” He asked, accent thicker.

“You know which one” He could feel his mum rolling her eyes. “When are you gonna ask Y/N to marry you?!”

“I won’t discuss this over the phone, mother” he chuckled. “Besides, I just made you a grandma recently, woman. Give me a break” Harry joked, making her laugh.

“I’m sorry! All I’m saying is you already have a son together, why not tight the knot?” she paused, dramatically sighing. “I’m getting old and I’d appreciate to watch my children get married”

He rolled his eyes. “One, you’re not old so stop that. And two, you have other child” A voice called Harry’s flight. “I gotta go, mum. I’ll call you when I land”

“Please do. I love you, honey”

“I love you more”

A long trip was waiting for him so he got comfortable on his seat after sending a quick text to Y/N. He’d be landing before lunch, meaning he would be able to pick Artemis up from school. He closed his eyes, hoping to take a quick nap during the flight.

*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･:

Harry landed one hour before Artemis was supposed to get out from school, so the car he called drove him directly home. He thanked the driver and got his stuff out of the car, when he crossed the gates of the house, he saw Y/N’s car parked.

Y/N had told him she called in sick again because the headache she had in the morning was too strong that one of her mothers had to take Artemis to school. He was starting to get worried, thinking it could be something else and not just a stomach bug.

Opening the door, he called for his girlfriend but got no answer so he walked right upstairs to the master bedroom where she found her curled up in the middle of the bed.

“Hi, baby” He cooed, soothing her out of her sleep by caressing her cheek. Her eyes flutter open and a smile appear on her face when she saw him knelt down beside her, inches away from her face. “How are you feeling?”

“A little better. Gemma was here earlier actually, she brought me soup”

“That’s nice” He smiled softly. “I’ll go pick Artemis up, okay? Then we’ll go to the doctor”

“The doctor? Why?” she said, supporting her weight on one of her elbows.

“To check up on you. Perhaps isn’t a stomach bug” he shrugged, sitting on the empty space of the bed.

She wanted to protest, but she knew Harry would insist until she said yes so she nodded, flashing a little smile at him. “Okay, we’ll go”

He leaned to kiss her forehead, pleased with her answer. He looked at the clock in the wall and sighed. He should leave now to make it on time to Artemis’ school. “I’ll go for the monkey, okay?”

Y/N cuddled back in bed, sighing happily because Harry was finally back home. Her boyfriend smiled at seeing her getting cozy as he stood up from the bed. Harry went back downstairs and out to his car to drive to Artemis’ school.

Walking inside of the building, Harry greeted a couple of parents he knew. When he reached Artemis’ classroom, his smile grew bigger at the sight of his boy chatting with a little girl who was sitting next to him.

Artemis looked up and his eyes lighted up when he saw Harry. “Daddy” He stood from the little chair and ran towards him. “Daddy, you’re here!”

“Hey, monkey” Harry caught him in his arms. “I missed you. Are you ready to go?” His son nodded excitedly. “Go pick your backpack up” When he went back on his feet he recognized someone entering the classroom. “Cece?”

“Harry? Hi?” The blonde, pregnant woman smiled at him. “How are you?”

“I’m great, how are you? When’s the baby arriving?”

“Two months or so, we’re very excited”

“Well, congratulations. Hope it goes well”

“Thank you. Worst has already happened anyway, morning sickness was a bitch” She laughed. Harry chuckled too, something clicked on his brain, a small possibility crossing through his mind.

Could Y/N be…?

“Daddy, let’s go!” Artemis came running back.

“I’ll expect you and Y/N for the baby shower” Cece said.

“Of course. Take care, okay?” Harry smiled one last time before taking his son’s hand to walk out of the classroom.

“Daddy, what happened to Ximena’s mum?”

“What do you mean, mate? She’s pregnant”

“Pregnant?”

“She’s gonna have a baby. Ximena will be a big sister”

“How does it work?” he asked confused. “She looks… different”

They reached Harry’s car and Artemis let his dad pick him up to put him in the car seat. “Well, is because there’s a baby growing inside of her tummy”

Artemis let out a little ‘ohh’, processing the information his daddy had just told him. “So Ximena will get a sister or a brother?”

“I didn’t ask Cece, baby” Harry went in the driver’s seat and started the car, driving away. “But either of them will be perfect”

“Can I get one?” He suddenly asked, kicking his legs back and forth.

“One what?” He already knew the answer but he wanted Artemis to say it anyway.

“A brother or a sister. I’d like one, please”

Harry breathed a laugh at his boy’s politeness. “Is not that easy mate. Takes a while”

Artemis didn’t say anything for the rest of the ride, singing along to the songs on the radio. Harry kept thinking about the possibility of Y/N being pregnant herself. It would make sense to him, all the mornings she’s been waking up to throw up, how she said to him over the phone that her nose was very sensitive lately, how her boobs kind of hurt all the time and lastly, one that Harry didn’t want to mention, how she’s been gaining a little weight.

They passed through a drugstore and Harry made an impulsive decision to stop there. “Are we home?”

“Not yet. I need to grab something real quick, let’s go”

They went inside and Harry grabbed a couple of pregnancy tests of one of the shelves. “What are those for?” Artemis asked.

“Nothing, baby. Let’s go” After he paid, they walked back to the car to continue their drive home.

The arrived and Harry sent him to clean up so he could go with Y/N. When he entered the room Y/N was exiting the bathroom. “You threw up again?” He asked, setting the plastic bag on the bed.

“No, I just wanted to pee” She smiled. “Where’s my baby?”

“Washing up” He smiled back. “So, I saw Cece today”

“Really? How is she?”

“She looks great. She also said she wants us on her baby shower, by the way” She hummed. “She mentioned how at the beginning of her pregnancy she had terrible morning sickness”

“Where is this going?” She asked confused. She sat on the bed and saw the bag. “Harry…”

“Look, it’s a possibility”

“I’m not pregnant” She assured him.

“Just take the tests, please. If it’s negative, then it’s negative”

“What if it’s positive?”

“Then we’ll figure it out” He took her hands. “Please”

She sighed. “I already know this will be negative” Y/N rolled her eyes but took the bag anyways. “And I just peed, fuck” Harry chuckled, shaking his head. “Go check on Artemis while I take these”

Harry nodded and walked out of the room and to his son’s bedroom. He found him sitting on the floor with a picture book in his hands. “Daddy, I’m hungry”

“Let’s get you some lunch then, kiddo”

They went down and Harry let Artemis help in the kitchen, he was fixing something quick for lunch while waiting anxiously for Y/N to finish taking the tests.

“Harry?!” He heard from the top of the stairs.

“In a minute!” He exclaimed back. “Wait in the living room for us, mate. Turn on the telly, we won’t take long” Artemis nodded, walking towards the bedroom and doing what his daddy told him.

Harry ran upstairs to where Y/N was. “Have you look at them?”

“No, not yet” she sighed. “You do it”

“One line means negative, two lines mean you’re pregnant” He repeated the sentence over and over again. He closed his eyes for a second before letting out the air he was retaining.

He gasped when he opened his eyes and saw it.

Two lines.

With tearful eyes he took another test and saw the same result so he took the third one and smiled when he saw every single one of them had the same result. He looked at Y/N, no words needed.

“We’re having a baby” He said as he let tears roll down his eyes.

Y/N smiled before tears formed in her eyes as well. They were having a baby. She was going to be a mother again. Unconsciously, her hands travelled to her stomach. “Well, it wasn’t a stomach bug, wasn’t it?”

They both laughed through the tears as Harry took her in her arms, careful to not squeeze her too tight.

Harry’s heart was about to explode for the amount of love he was feeling right now. There was an actual baby growing inside of Y/N. He bowed to himself he’d be at all times for her, he won’t leave her side for any reason. He wanted to live the whole process. He could already imagine himself with his future newborn in his arms, so delicate and pure.

His heart and soul belonged to his family. But it wasn’t divided in two anymore. Because they weren’t three anymore. And that couldn’t be more exciting.  

☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁

taglist!!

@myfavfanficsever @odetostep @la-cey @cock-a-doodely-doo @awkwardbullfrog @mellamolayla @moorgannn @bagtan-serendipity @awesomebooklover17 @finelineribs @sunnybusiness @beanholland @sweetenerstyle @cronias13 @vhsharry @maisley @seasidecrowbar @stylesfics-xx @autumnpauley20 @fineline-hs1

[caranfindel]

Take these broken wings and learn to fly (15.20 coda)

het, but Wincest-compatible | about 2300 words | PG-13 for language | characters: sam winchester, sam’s blurry wife |

Julia has been widowed (God, what an awful word, widowed) for three years when she meets Sam. It’s a work-based friendship at first. She’s kind of lonely and sad, he’s kind of lonely and sad, and they gravitate toward each other. And then one evening they’re at a bar, the last ones left from an after-work happy hour, both of them drinking more than they should, and she thinks he’s kind and thoughtful and smart and he may be 10 years older than me but he’s still hot as hell and I enjoy being with him and I look forward to seeing him and maybe I should just… and she kisses him. He’s shocked; shocked enough to confirm that he wasn’t just hanging around hoping to make it out of the friendzone. And then he’s holding her face in his hands and he’s kissing her too.

It’s good. They’re good together. It’s not the earth-shattering, all-encompassing romance she had with Shaun. Julia knows she’ll never have anything like that again. Most people don’t even get one soulmate in their lives; no one gets two. And she knows Sam doesn’t have that same desperate love that Shaun had for her; she knows she’ll never have his whole heart. (She knows the woman he intended to marry was killed in a fire, she knows another woman he loved went back to her ex. She doesn’t know which of these women still owns that last piece of Sam’s heart.) But she loves Sam, and he loves her, and they get married.

(The sex is amazing. Sometimes he’s gentle, almost reverent, as if he’s afraid he’ll break her, and other times he’s fierce and passionate and almost tries to break her, and she loves both ends of the spectrum.)

She suggests they melt down her old wedding band to make a new one. It was an heirloom from her grandmother, a plain wide band of yellow gold that she loves, that she thought she’d wear for the rest of her life. But Shaun is the one who put it on her finger the first time. It doesn’t seem right to ask Sam to accept it now. A new band from the old gold seems like a good compromise. No, Sam says, I couldn’t ask you to do that. I know a way we can make it ours. He has the inside of the band engraved with the same symbol he wears tattooed over his heart, and makes her promise to never take it off. Bad luck, he says.

He’s such a contradiction. Scary smart, but as superstitious as an Appalachian grandmother. Calm and unflappable, but with a weirdly hyperactive startle reflex. Kind and empathetic, but capable of extreme violence when pushed to his limits (seriously, don’t walk your drunk ass up to Sam Winchester’s wife and lay hands on her, and don’t get mouthy when she tells you to back off) and just really, frighteningly skilled at that violence.

(A little frightening and also very sexy. Julia’s always had a thing for the hero type.)

They both have nightmares. One night Julia watches Shaun’s face melting under his gear and wakes with a cry of horror. Sam holds her as she tearfully describes living on the knife edge of constant fear that comes with loving someone whose job is literally running into burning buildings. I know, he says, over and over, even though he can’t possibly know. The irony of their first loves both dying in flames is not lost on her, but it’s not like his college girlfriend was a firefighter. It’s not like he watched her go to work every day and prayed she’d make it home alive.

Julia’s pregnancy is a wonderful surprise. She and Shaun had tried for over a year before she was widowed, and she just didn’t count on it happening with Sam. They agree not to name the baby after anyone they’ve lost. Let’s not name him after our pain, she says, and Sam is okay with that. (Or he isn’t. But ever since she showed him the positive pregnancy test, she’s known she could ask him for anything. She’s known he would rip out his heart and serve it on a platter if she asked for it.)

But they haven’t decided on a name yet when her water breaks four weeks early. When their perfect baby boy is born at 12:10 a.m., the nurse announces the date and time and Sam looks up at her in shock and blinks away happy tears and says it’s the 24th. It’s my brother’s birthday. Julia is flying high on endorphins; she loves this baby and she loves this man and she even loves his dead brother she never got to meet, and she says it’s got to be a sign; let’s name him Dean.

She takes off her wedding ring, just this once, to have Dean’s birthdate engraved on the inside. Sam does the same with his own ring. He insists they go to a jeweler who will engrave while they wait, rather than leaving the rings there. She waves a hand at her lumpy postpartum body. You afraid someone’s gonna make a move on all this if you don’t keep a ring on it?

He laughs at her and says you’re onto me, even though he’s the one who needs to be locked away, still with that long lean runner’s body and the amazing shoulders and the goddamn dimples. I just don’t like us being without them, he says. He is a sweet, sentimental fool and she adores him. He bends down to kiss her, carefully maneuvering the baby he’s wearing in a sling, and Julia looks at this man and this baby and this life she didn’t think she was get to have and knows she’s happier than she has any right to be. And she’s relieved when Sam slips the ring back onto her finger, this ring imbued with the men she loves, so maybe he’s not the only sentimental fool.

(One thing she loves about Sam is that he understands why she feels guilty that Shaun didn’t get to share this life with her.)

In July they light a little candle for Dean’s six-month birthday. When Julia wakes the next morning, Sam’s side of the bed is empty and cold. She finds him cuddling their sleeping baby in the living room. I got up to give him a bottle, Sam says. I guess I just fell asleep out here. His red-rimmed eyes and empty coffee mug suggest he didn’t actually sleep at all, but, well. They’re both battling their own private demons. If a night cradling the baby gives Sam some peace for whatever reason, she’s glad of it.

Sam’s fierce love for their child takes her by surprise. If Julia has 90% of his heart, his son has 110%. He parents with a vengeance, is the only way she can think of to describe it. Like he’s making up for something. She doesn’t feel slighted, but it’s impossible to ignore that ever since Dean was born, Sam’s prime objective has been to make sure the boy is happy and safe. Everything else comes second.

(When she notices Sam has been carefully marking his tattoo symbol onto Dean’s clothing, hidden near seams and always in a color that almost matches the fabric, she decides not to say anything. He gets a little funny about his superstitions sometimes.)

Sam desperately wants Dean to have a sibling, and they try for another one, but it doesn’t happen. Julia reminds him that they’re lucky to have even one child. That having a sibling is not a lifetime guarantee of companionship and love. She should know, after all, since Stephanie cut her off after she married that asshole Scientologist and decided she couldn’t have a relationship with anyone who wasn’t also in their stupid cult.

Dean has plenty of friends and tons of activities, which Sam encourages with an almost religious fervor, but he never pulls away from his parents. They have so much in common, Sam and his son. Instead of rebelling as a teenager, Dean seems to grow even closer to his father. They spend hours together, paging through the ancient books in Sam’s study (she hates them, they smell musty and make her sneeze) or driving in the old Chevrolet. They even travel together sometimes, visiting those friends of Sam’s that live up north somewhere. Julia met them at the wedding and they were perfectly nice, thrilled to death that she and Sam had found each other. But she always feels like an outsider when they’re around, like they’re part of something she’ll never understand. So much history, with Sam and the brother she never got to meet. They absolutely dote on Dean though, and he seems to love them too, so the boys’ trip to Sioux Falls becomes an annual event.

(Dean is 14 years old when he comes home from one of these trips with his own version of the tattoo.)

When Julia is diagnosed with cancer, Dean is 16 years old. Sam does his best to ensure life goes on as normal for their son but somehow never neglects Julia’s needs. He throws himself into research and is always on top of the latest treatment, always at her elbow with the top internet-recommended remedy for her side effects, making sure both she and Dean have everything they want and need, all the attention and support they can tolerate. She doesn’t know when, or if, Sam actually sleeps. When she feels up for it, he arranges experiences for the three of them. A week lying on the beach, a weekend in New York City, a night in the mountains looking at the stars. When we look back on this time, he says, I don’t want us to only remember how much it sucked. I want us all to have good memories too.

(She doesn’t know why he’s concerned about her memories. There’s a good chance she won’t have much time to enjoy them. But it’s good for Dean. She doesn’t want this to ruin Dean’s childhood.)

Sam insists Dean go away to college as planned. Julia agrees, although she’s kind of surprised he’s willing to let the boy out of his sight. Aren’t you going to miss him? she asks.

So much, he answers. But this isn’t about me, and what I need. It’s about him. They drive Dean to school in the ancient Chevrolet. Supposedly because the trunk has room for all of his stuff, but Julia is pretty sure it’s just one last sentimental road trip in the old thing before Sam retires it. When they pick Dean up at the end of the school year, it’s in her SUV. Dean promises his father, more than once, that he’ll restore the Chevy someday.

Five years after Julia’s diagnosis, she’s sitting in the doctor’s office learning that her last remission was her last remission. There are no more options. She has months, not years. Sam clutches her hand and nods, once, as if to say I should have known this would happen; I should have expected something like this. Then he takes her home.

It’s a blessing in a way, he says late that night, after a little too much to drink. Knowing what’s coming. Having time to say goodbye. You don’t always get that. And yes, she knows this as well as anybody does.

Sam has always been supportive of her choice not to contact Stephanie, but one day he says Jules, I promise I’ll never bring it up again. It’s just that I don’t want you to have any regrets. I don’t want you miss the opportunity to say things that you’ll wish you’d said. Julia isn’t sure Steph will speak to her. She’s not even sure she’ll have the same phone number — they haven’t spoken since Dad’s funeral, a year after she was widowed — but she makes the call. And Steph answers. And cries. And comes to visit, where she hugs and cries some more. Sam watches it all with a sad smile for a while, then disappears into the garage to sit in the old Chevy.

When Julia takes her last conscious breaths, Dean is holding one hand and Sam is holding the other. She squeezes her son’s hand and thinks I love you, dear boy, and I’m sorry I have to leave you. She squeezes her husband’s hand and thinks thank you for giving me this, thank you for taking care of me, thank you for loving me and letting me love you. Then she closes her eyes and lets the soft, warm darkness take over.

And then. Then she wakes to a cool breeze and the sound of chirping birds. She’s standing at a lake she recognizes. It’s Shaun’s favorite fishing spot. And Shaun is there, waiting for her. And everything is okay.

Sam does show up eventually. Julia’s sitting on the porch of the cabin with Shaun, enjoying the perpetual nice day (sometimes a spring morning, sometimes a fall afternoon, but always nice) when she hears the familiar rumble. It cant be, she thinks. It can’t be that old car. But it is.

I’m glad you found someone with good taste in cars, Shaun says, as Sam unfolds himself from the driver’s seat. He looks exactly as he did the day she met him; no glasses, only a little grey at his temples. Still tall and strong and beautiful. She runs to meet him and embraces him as Shaun watches from the porch.

You found Shaun, Sam says. I’m so happy for you, Jules. I really am. He doesn’t seem to have any intention of joining her (their) Heaven permanently, but he doesn’t seem to have anyone else with him either. Where is the dead girlfriend? How is this fair?

They talk about Dean, and Julia’s heart swells with pride over her strong, smart, kind, brave son. He’s like you, she says. He’s just like you.

Sam shrugs. He’s a Winchester.

But what about you? she says. You’re not — you’re not alone here, are you?

Nah, he says. I’m good. I promise.

(Eventually Julia meets the first Dean, and she understands.)

===

I know a lot of people have mocked Sam's blurry wife, but I actually have grown to love the concept. Because it means she can be anything we want her to be. And yeah, initially I liked the idea of her being Dr. Cara, or Eileen. But now I don't think that would happen. I think Sam would have to start fresh to have that kind of relationship. And I also like the idea of Sam's wife having her own soulmate somewhere, waiting for her, so she's not a huge part of Sam and Dean's shared Heaven. I mean, they're gonna visit, obviously. And then they'll go home to their soulmates.

The title is from "Blackbird" by the Beatles.

[craigsumter-justice]

My Legal Battle with my Family and their Co-horts / Co-conspirators (4):

I told Creighton he could come visit me and I told him that Barry Creasman, who I thought was a friend, had invited me to his birthday dinner and asked Creighton if he wanted to go with me.  Creighton said yes, flew in and stayed with me at my apartment at Atlantic Station.  (It’s important to note here that when Creighton Hussey and I first started talking on the phone in April 2013 I told him that I never wanted to do a 3-way and I told him to please not ever ask me to do a 3-way.  I don’t want to have group sex, especially in a relationship.  Creighton told me that he felt the same way.)

That Saturday night, October 18, 2013, Creighton and I went to Barry’s birthday dinner at JCT Kitchen off of Howell Mill Rd. in Midtown Atlanta.  Barry had a boyfriend also as he was dating Andew Gann at the time.  When Creighton and I arrived at JCT Kitchen Barry and all of Barry’s friends were there.  However Barry’s boyfirend, Andrew Gann, wasn’t there.  I thought this was strange and I asked Barry where his boyfriend was and he said that Andrew had gone to New York to spend the weekend with his family.  Barry and Creighton sat on opposite sides of me and on opposite ends of the table.  They never spoke and never even once looked at each other.  It was very strange, like it was planned.  Like they were trying not to look at each other.  Like they had already met and were trying to keep it a secret.  Then when we were walking out of the restaurant I walked towards the car and all of the sudden without Creighton or Barry speaking to each other Barry handed Creighton a bag that were allegedly his birthday gifts from all his friends.  (Creighton and I had given Barry a birthday card that Creighton picked out earlier that day at the Target at Atlantic Station.)  I turned back becuase Creighton wasn’t right behind me and I he all of the sudden handed me Barry’s bag of birthday cards which also had one bottle of liquor in it and said that Barry was going to ride with us.  This was extemely strange to me as he and Barry still hadn’t spoken and why was Barry now going to ride with us and not whomever he had ridden to the restarurant with.  

[itsmeevie01]

Bio!dad Bruce Day 7-Fashion Show

Marinette laughed as she linked arms with Alix and hurried out of school. Today, the girls had arranged to go out for the evening, and they were insistent that nothing would ruin their fun, even an akuma. As the shorter girls hurried away, Alya watched from where she stood on the steps. When she had transferred, she had hoped that the girl she had made a connection with would become her best friend. Now, as they neared the end of April, she had resigned herself to the fact that she wasn’t part of the other’s inner circle.

Although she was friendly with the entire class, Marinette had quickly proven to be hard to get close to. She had her life out of school, and she had her life in school. They didn’t mix.

Unknown to the rest of the school, Marinette’s birthday was coming up. Every year, she would do something small with Tom and Sabine. Sometimes she would invite a friend over. Mostly, she kept her birthday quiet. The teen knew that if she offered, her class would love to celebrate with her, but she didn’t see it as a big deal. three years earlier, Bruce had asked her if she wanted to do anything for her birthday. When she had mentioned that she didn’t really celebrate it that much, he had nodded in acceptance. Each year, he flew into Paris and took her out for a day of shopping, an amusement park, or a fancy dinner. This year, he had invited her to join him in Gotham so that her brothers could come along. Since the event earlier in the month, Bruce had been more at ease when talking about many of the things going on in his home city. Now that he knew that Marinette was already entrenched in the hero life that he had been working so hard to keep her out of, he had opened up about the times that the family had vanished during her visits.

When Marinette had eagerly agreed to join him in Gotham, Bruce had asked his daughter of she had any preferences on what they did. The girl, as expected, shook her head and told him to surprise her. As long as they were together, it didn’t really matter. Imagine her surprise, when she got home from her late-night movie with Alix, to find her parents waiting for her, both buzzing in excitement.

“Mariette! Oh good, we were afraid that you would be out later. Bruce got in contact with us, he is going to fly you our for the entire weekend, instead of just one day!” While the bakers continued to gush about how wonderful it was for Bruce to fly Marinette out for her birthday, the girl paused. Usually, as much as she enjoyed her brothers, they were very upfront with her. When she had asked if they knew what Bruce was planning, they had been cagey. Now, he was flying her out on a Thursday, and bringing her back on a Tuesday? That was a long time considering she still had school.

Later that week as she packed her carry on, the noirette crinkled her nose in concentration. She had been doing the best she could to figure out what it could be, but she still had found nothing on their plans for the next few days. Once she had finished, she plopped the bag next to her suitcase. Whatever her family had planned, she could only hope that she was ready for it.

The next day at school, Marinette rolled her eyes as Alya started to chatter at her. The girl was nice, yes, but Marinette had seen what had happened when she had started to zero in on information. Alya was not likely to let anything go, which sadly, meant that for the sake of her secret identity, Marinette had t keep her distance. When Nino plopped into his seat in front of her, he turned to flash Marinette a grin. “you ready for your trip, dudette?” Marinette smiled in return,

“So ready! I finished packing last night, so Maman is going to pick me up at noon. That makes sure I have a little under four hours to get on my plane.” Nino nodded in understanding.

“International travel is nothing to mess with. You may be joined by Chloe; she is flying out to visit her mother. Where are you flying into?”

“New York! They said that they would meet me there, and that we would head back after whatever surprise they’ve been planning.” Nino snickered at his friend’s frustration. It was well known within their friend group that the girl liked to know what was going on so that she could plan accordingly. The last time they had tried to surprise her, Kim had ended up with a broken arm, and Alix had gotten enough blackmail to last a lifetime. It was also pretty common for the girl to refer to her family in vague terms. As much as she trusted her friends, her class was more than willing to dig into her personal life in an attempt to force friendship. Because of this, Marinette tried to keep her personal life a vague as possible. In situations like this, she was grateful that Nino understood what she meant, because Alya had caught onto their conversation and started to ask as many questions as she could. Thankfully, Chloe must have gotten the notice from Nino to rescue her, because the blonde swaggered into the room and made a beeline for the duo’s desk.

“So, Mari trash, what this I hear about you leaving the country?” while Alya bristled at the name that the heiress had thrown out, Marinette sent her friend a secret smile. Chloe sent her a nod before returning to riling up Alya until Madame Bustier made her way in, effectively shutting down all conversations.

The girls giggled as they hurried through the airport. When they had realized that they were on the same flight, they had agreed to meet up at the airport and wait out the extra time together. As the duo sat there, they chatted and traded pictures, and discussed fashion. When Chloe mentioned that her mother was taking her to meet a ‘rich client who she wont name. Ridiculous!’ Marinette paused. “Chloe, that’s not the only reason that your flying out, right?” the blond gave an undignified snot.

“Honestly Mari, I wish! She’s dragging me to her ‘secret fashion show for the ages’ as she calls it.” Soon the girls were giggling and discussing the latest trends. When the flight attendants called for first class, the two girls gather their bags and made their way over to the line that was forming. When they had gotten settled (conveniently next to each other, which spoke of manipulation to Marinette, although she refrained from mentioning it to the diva next to her), they each pulled out a book and got ready for their flight. Thankfully, they both made the transatlantic flights enough to know what to expect.

 That evening, when they arrived, the girls hurried to get through security and collect their bags. As they exited the baggage claim, both girls started to scan for their rides. On one side of the airport, was Audrey Bourgeois’ personal assistant. Next to her stood the stately figure of Alfred Pennyworth. While Marinette threw herself at Alfred in a hug, Chloe nodded to the frazzled looking brunette who had greeted them. The girls hugged and parted ways, promising to meet up on Monday if they didn’t see each other before hand.

While Chloe settled in her mother’s penthouse, Marinette was buried in a pile of hugs from her brothers. When they had finally given her room to breathe, her father introduced her to a girl who had been standing nearby. Cassandra (her sister!!) smiled at her and waved shyly. Marinette had sent her a smile worthy of the sun and given the girl a hug in return.

The next morning, the two girls were the first to join Alfred in the kitchen. Was Marinette caught Alfred up on the last few months, she started to help him with breakfast. Cassandra (Cass, Marinette scolded herself) settled on a stool to watch her move through the kitchen with a fluidity that spoke of many, many hours of experience. Once Bruce and they boys had joined them, the group settled at the dining table.

When the food had been cleared up, Marinette turned to her father, “you know, you made it really hard to pack for this trip, when I had no idea what we are going to do!” Bruce smiled at her ire and easily brushed aside her worries.

“it’s a good thing that we’re going shopping then, isn’t it, Marinette?” the way the girls face lit up made Tim snort.

“B, you really shouldn’t have said that, now she’s not going to sit still for the rest of the day.” The teen made a face at the look sent his way and Marinette huffed at her older brother.

“At least I know how to dress myself nicely without having someone pick my clothes out for me!” Dick sniggered at her response before wincing as she directed her fury his way. “don’t think I’m ignoring you, Richard.” The man froze, because his sister had used his first name only once and that occasion was not to be brought up unless the world was ending. “your fashion choices are even worse than Dad’s!” As the family started to argue about the validity of her statements, Marinette slipped away, beckoning for Cassandra (Cass!) to follow her.

Once they were in Marinette’s temporary room, the girl handed her sister (!!) a small wrapped package. “Tim gave me a heads up that there was a new addition to the family, and I wanted to make something for you.” The other girl studied her for a moment before hesitantly ripping the paper. Inside was a small journal that was leather bound and had the name Cass written in an elegant script (A/N Cass is probably the character that I am the least familiar with the origin of. That said, I’m going to run off the assumption that she is learning to read when she is brought to join n the Wayne family. If I am wrong, lmk, for now, this is what we are vibing with). The quiet girl gave Marinette a tentative hug as a thank you before Tim knocked on the doorframe.

“Time to go, ladies. Your chariot awaits.” Marinate rolled her eyes at their brother while throwing a pair of balled up socks at him.

“We’re coming, boy genius. Be fearful though, this is the start of an alliance. Soon, maybe ill be able to finally compete against you boys on game night without rigging the games!” Tim spluttered at her declaration as she strode past him. He huffed and hurried after the girls, bemoaning Bruce for making this trip a ‘family affair’.

Three hours later, Tim and Dick were each carrying handfuls of shopping bags, as the family of five re-entered their temporary living space. The girls were walking together, Marinette explaining some of her ideas for different designs. Alfred smiled at them as they all stood talking together, until an unfamiliar ringtone broke the low ambiance. The brothers looked at each other in confusion, while Bruce raised an eye at his youngest daughter. The girl flushed in embarrassment and dug into her purse for a long moment before pulling out a phone that was very obviously not her own. “hey! Is everything ok?” her immediate switch to French made the others pause and zero in on her conversation. “Oh, you caught it. How much damage was there?” A pause and then, “do I need to- I know I’m supposed to be on vacation but- oh fine! Leave it on my balcony in the jar, ill take care of as soon as I can.” A beat, and the girl made a face at whatever the person on the other end of the phone said. “stay safe, and call me if you need me, yeah?” once she had hung up, the girl turned back to them with a raised eyebrow. “what? Are you saying you don’t have a second phone for emergencies?”

The next day, Saturday, was a whirlwind, as Alfred got everyone up and moving by7 am. When asked what was going on by Marinette, the butler simply smiled and moved to lure Dick out of bed. When the family was once again gathered around the breakfast table, Marinette turned to her father and demanded an explanation at the reason for a wakeup call before what she considered ‘reasonable hours’. The man smiled in return, “Today, Marinette, we are going to celebrate your birthday. As promised, this year, the entire fairly will be able to join in.” the girl protested at his declaration.

“what was yesterday? I thought that was us celebrating my birthday without going overboard!” Dick laughed at her shock before jumping into the conversation.

“well, Net, yesterday was part one. Today is part two…and the part that we think you’ll like the most.” At her confusion, Tim leaned over from his spot across the dining table, pushing a stack of six tickets towards her,

“were going to Audrey Bourgeois’ secret fashion show.” The screech that came from the youngest in the family was well worth the suspense.

As the family approached the hidden venue, Marinette felt excitement bubble up once again. She had spent the day making sure that the entire family was dressed appropriately for the event. Somehow, Bruce had managed to buy a dress on the sly for her, after catching her gazing longingly at it for the duration of their time in the shop. As for the others, for the most part, they had the necessary pieces to put together a look that would be presentable at the secret show. The door was opened once they had handed over their tickets, and the Wayne family were handed a stack of passes that they hurriedly settled around their necks as they were show their way to their seats.

When the catwalk lit up, Marinette sat there, frozen, anticipating the beginning of the show. The lights blacked out, and a spotlight followed the first model on her way towards the middle of the room. Marinette’s breath caught in shock at the beauty of the coat that was trailing down the runway. As the next model made his way out, Marinette lost herself in the world of fashion.

 After, Bruce turned to the girl and raised an eyebrow, “so…was this too over the top for your birthday?” the 14-year-old smiled at her father.

“no,” she breathed, “it was perfect”

whew! that was a long one! obviously, this one is not compleate, but it’s other half is going to be coming soon! any feedback is more than welcome, im going to try to keep these a little longer if i can...

also, what did y’all think of Alya? i’m not her biggest fan, but didnt want to make her a villian? 

[katsrnerstories]

BillDip SlowBurn FanFic Chap. 1

Bill had destroyed Dipper's mind.

It has been a few years since weirdmageddon. Since Dipper and Mabel defeated demons from hellish planes of existence and saved the world and their friends from soul and mind crushing madness.  

Dippers a freshman in college now. It was a moment that he had wished for for years. Highschool had been…

Well it wasn't the worst it could have been. Dipper hit a major glow up around the beginning of junior year (with Mabel's help of course) and life was a little easier. He was asked out on dates, went to a few parties here and there that people dragged him to, had some typical highschool fun in the city...

Until around that same time he started getting replies from colleges his senior year, he started to see Bill again. Every once in a while his mind would wander back to that summer, but it was always the good things or nightmares of the horrors they saw.

It started with just a little glimpse here and there. An eye in the back corner of his periphery, some yellow glimpse in a dark room. 

A ghostly hand on his shoulder.

But these things were nothing to the first time Dipper realized something was wrong.

Dipper saw Bill in his dreams. And those dreams were beyond nightmares.

He had had nightmares before. Nightmares of weirdmageddon were common for both dipper and Mabel. But these… these were real; as much as a dream could be.

Because of Gravity Falls, Dipper really wasn't afraid of a lot of things that would have scared him. The unknown was comforting to him. Maybe because it wasn't too unknown to him and Mabel.

But bill. During those nightmares, brought everything he feared to the frontlines. 

It had been a while since Mabel and him shared a room, so Mabel really didn't know about the fear Dipper experienced those nights. 

She was more focused on getting to LA.

She wants to be a criminal psychoanalyst. To look at the minds of people and figure how they tick. Criminals especially. 

Dipper could swear that Bill had done something to her to make her go down such a dark career path, but he couldn't say anything; he neither had a psychology degree nor was untouched by Bill himself.

Who really knows, it could have been anything else that happened to her in those hellish four years of highschool. 

She had moved away quickly after highschool ended to learn in LA. Of course they facetime and text all the time, but the separation was still felt by both of them.

Everyone missed her presence. Her positivity, her unique personality. 

That had transformed into something much darker come junior and senior year. She found out after a few failed boyfriends that she was not only Asexual, but that guys and even girls, can’t seem to give that part of a relationship up. Some even found it offensive that she felt that way.

Dipper went back to oregon. Of course he was in the city, but on weekends he would visit the Mystery Shack and Gravity Falls. 

Soos was happy to give him one of the rooms in the basement. Sometimes even Grunkle Stan or Grunkle Ford would visit. 

They decided shortly after Dipper and Mabel left that they would travel. Of course Ford's labs still sit under the mystery shack, but when Mabel and Dipper visited Soos the summer of their junior year Ford gave them full control of the labs (as long as Dipper kept everyone safe. Which he did too much annoyance of Mabel)

Soos and his wife at that time had just had a little baby boy, and now have a comfortable four kids, two boys and two girls (three of them were triplets) and run the shack not to much better than Stan did, with the same soul in the campy attractions and overpriced merchandise. 

Wendy is in her senior year at a community college in Oregon city, right around the same place Dipper decided to go to school. They hang out pretty regularly, just around weekly.

Robby left gravity falls as soon as he got his GED. Went for New York, looking for a punk career. He sends Wendy emails every once in a while about his music and where he's at. 

Shockingly, Pacifica stayed in Oregon, going to the same college Dipper goes to. They see each other, and after leaving her family, she found a lot out about herself and became a much better person. 

She found she loved a good smoke and art. Apparently, something she hid from the world was that she loved art. She was probably one of the best artists Dipper had seen. After she left the hell hole of her family, she became really chill. Calm. even nice. 

Her and Dipper have coffee pretty much every day. She was one of the only people who also knew what he had gone through.

And she was the only person who noticed as Dipper got worse and worse for wear. 

Bill had been particularly evil the past few weeks, taking much more joy in Dippers struggle. Long ago Dipper had just sort of given up on screaming for Bill to stop. But he always refused to make a deal with him to stop the fear. Not again. 

“Another nightmare again?” Pacifica asks, as Dipper requests 5 shots of caffeine in his already bitter caffeinated black coffee. 

“Yeah. it's getting harder and harder to say no every night. And honestly the empty dorm isn't helping.” 

“Why don't you just move in with me? I've got an extra room that's got your name written on the door if you want it.” 

Dipper almost accepted, but decided against it. It was kind of weird, no matter how good of friends they were, to live with the ex that made you realized you were gay.

It wasn't her fault, it was just…

He liked a different kind of ass, as Mabel had said when he came out.

No, the daily overpriced coffee meetup was enough. 

“Have you talked about it to Ford? Hes got to know something about it if he went through the same thing?” 

“I don't want to bother them with it. They thought they got rid of Bill that summer, we all did. Bills my problem now.”

Pacifica gives him a knowing look. She knew that he was breaking, but couldn't figure out how to help him. 

“Hows journalism?” Pacifica takes her coffee as she changes the subject.

“As boring as it ever is. Graphic design?”

“As confusing as ever.” Dipper takes a big sip from his steaming coffee. It's a briskly cold morning, enough he brought out his knit set Mabel had made for him on their 18th birthday. He had no shame in wearing it, and it in fact felt comforting today, to know that she was still with him in heart at least.

She never grew out of her sweater thing. She still makes sweaters, using it to get her to the next rent payment sometimes. Everyone can count on a big box with sweaters from her every Christmas here in Oregon. 

With their coffees in hand, Dipper and Mabel head off to campus. And once they made it there they said their goodbyes with a hug and went their separate ways to start the day. 

Dipper wanders into the lecture hall for his advanced maths class. People filter in as he types away on his computer. 

The students around him wanted to be scientists, economists, etc. everyone found it weird that a creative writing major was not only taking advanced maths, this early in the morning, but was killing it. His grades spoke for themselves. 

The class starts and Dipper still types away on his computer. He had been bored the night before as he was staving off sleeping and had read a chapter ahead in their textbook. He taught himself the three hour lesson that day in an hour. 

It was no doubt that Dipper took after his great uncle Stanford. Grunkle Ford told him at one point that Dipper reminded him of a young Dr. Fiddleford. Dipper didn't really like being compared to the scientist that started a whole cult under Gravity Falls before going batshit crazy himself for a very long time.

He only hoped that he wouldn't end up like him. He didn't want to be some crazy man who roams the town. 

Dipper had a story that he needed to finish for his next class. He had started to wear away the stories of Gravity Falls with his creative writing classes that he now had to actually think about what story to write. Mabel helped him out with the premise of the story last night. So he spent that class writing a simple flash fiction of one roaming the backrooms. (an urban legend Mabel had read about in an article somewhere.)

He found comfort in knowing that one thing did not exist to him. That one thing did not sit in the pits of Gravity Falls waiting for Dipper or one of them to unearth it.

The story reminded Dipper of falling through the endless pit just outside the Mystery Shack. A hole where they reminisced on days of the summer as they spent the day, or who knows how long, falling. they were all lucky that it was not, truly, endless. 

And quickly the story was finished and the class closed early. 

Dipper went for an early lunch. He scrolls through his phone, seeing Mabels three new instagram posts and all the other people she introduced him to. 

After Mabel found out Dipper was gay, she went on a mission to hook him up with some LA guy. Oregons not terrible with their acceptance, but it's not something to be very open about. Plus Dipper wasn't the kind to walk pride without someone like Mabel hyping the both of them up. Because god knows that she needs just as much hyping up with who she is as Dipper.

When he walks into his empty apartment, anxiety wells up in Dippers chest. Quickly he turns on the TV, letting it run as white noise as he makes his lunch. The apartment had been empty since his recent relationship ended. Dipper is glad it ended, as the abuse just got too much; yet it was bad for Dipper to be left alone with his thoughts. Especially in an apartment that seemed to hold so much sadness and bad memories.

Mabel, after helping Dippers style, had made him a whole cookbook for him. It had all different kinds of foods, but the main dishes all were healthy. She had gone on a fitness rampage her sophomore year and had never truly grown out of it. It was from a bad place, but she turned it to a positive. As she always does. 

She had told him that it was the first thing other than sleep to keep alive longer. She had made him promise that he would try to stay alive. 

At this point it was the only thing keeping Dipper alive. 

Bill had taxed his mind so much it was rare to find him not paranoid. Bill made Dippers anxiety beyond chronic, and the lack of sleep did not help his depression. 

That had developed after Pacifica. It wasn't because of the break up, more at the fact that she had helped him so much. 

She had accepted him being gay. She had helped him gain friends during their relationship, and she even helped him when money wasn't the best. 

All this caused his anxiety to get to his head. 

What if they think I’m evil for breaking it off with her? What if she'll never want to see me again? What if, what if, what if…

His depression had just gotten  worse after the breakup and dealing with being alone again. It was the reason Dipper stayed with someone like that for so long. 

All of the depression and anxiety ended up crashing down at the same time Bill Cypher ended up crashing into the picture. 

At that point Bill only came to terrorise Dipper a few nights a month. It was easier to deal with.  Now it's every night.

Dipper finishes making his food, sitting down in front of the TV to watch a show on Netflix. 

He had been getting through the true crime shows. He swore that eventually he'd eventually either run a show like it with Mabel or be one of the cold cases lost to the world. 

Yet within only a few minutes Dipper not only found himself asleep, but stuck in the mindscape. 

“Been trying to avoid me, Pine Tree?”

Dipper no longer was shocked by Bill's voice. In fact the more and more he heard his voice, the more and more it began to sound almost human.

[theroguequeenaniki]

Questions 2009 -> 2021

This is from my Facebook. It popped up on my memories page thing. I originally answered this in 2009 when I was 15, it’s now 2021 & and I am 27, so I’m gonna do it again. Leaving the original answers. Original answers will be italicized. Commentary on the original answers in parentheses & crossed out? Lol. (I’m not gonna tag anyone, but, like, I guess if you want to answer these random questions from Facebook 12 years ago, go ahead lol) 

Questions

Can you fill this out without lying? You've been tagged, so now you need to answer all the questions HONESTLY. At the end, choose people to tag. Don't forget to tag me so I can see your answers! To do this, copy this entire message, then go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, delete my answers, and type yours. Easy! Next, tag people that you think may enjoy this (in the right hand corner of the app). Click publish (at the bottom). Have fun! :) 1.What was the last thing you put in your mouth? My cup with my Big Red in it The straw to my Kate Spade tumbler to drink my HEB Cola Lol.

2.Where was your profile picture taken? I got it off the internet. it's a random anime girl. My bedroom. 3.Can you play Guitar Hero? Never played it. Probably wouldn't be good at it. Not to good at video games. But I am good at Mario Cart, both 64 and the Wii. plus I'm good at some Sonic games. Still never played it. Idk if I’m any good at Mario Cart or the Sonic games anymore, I haven’t played either in years lol

4.Name someone who made you laugh today? Doctor Who TikTok. My cats.

5.How late did you stay up last night and why? Umm, probably about 10:00 cause it took me forevor to get into bed. Uh..Past 4am. Lol. B/c my sleep schedule is fucked. I was in bed by 3am though, but I was playing games & watching TikToks on my phone. Lol.

6.If you could move somewhere else, would you? Yes. I'd move to either New York or Sweden. I don’t know. Part of me says yes. But part of me says no..b/c even though Texas has it’s faults (a LOT of them), I cannot imagine living anywhere else long-term..

7. Ever been kissed under fireworks? HAHA. Yeah right. I've never even been kissed! Still nope. I have been kissed though. He just didn’t kiss me under the fireworks the one NYE we spent together...

8. Which of your friends lives closest to you? Um, I think R, but D might also. D is accross Stasney from me and R is a couple blocks down (I don’t talk to these people much anymore & I’m not going to share their names on Tumblr) Uh. I think Maybe Raven? B/c they’re the only one who lives in the same city still. But, Sarah might technically be closer distance wise? Hold on. Ok, yeah, Sarah’s closer, even though she doesn’t live in this city anymore.

9. Do you believe exes can be friends? It all depends on the situation.(I totally stold M's answer but it's true) (I don’t talk to this person anymore & I’m not gonna share their name on Tumblr) I mean, yeah. Two of my best friends are each others exes and they’re still friends. I haven’t stayed friend with my ex, but, uh, he ghosted me so? Lol.

10. How do you feel about Dr. Pepper? I love it. I still love it. Lol.

11. When was the last time you cried really hard? I can't remember. I don't think it was that long ago, I had a light cry on Saturday, but I don't remember the last time I cried really hard. When we got back from our trip in July. Had a full on breakdown that night. Overheated all weekend. Overwhelmed. Anxiety. It was not a very good vacation..I cry a lot though.

12. Who took your profile picture? I got it off of google. I did. 

13. Who was the last person you took a picture of? Umm, either myself, or one of my family members. Aside from myself. I think my dad, on his phone, b/c there was a cicada on his shoulder and he wanted to ask the family group chat if he could keep it. Lol. I take a LOT of pictures of cats though. Lol.

14. Was yesterday better than today? Hail yes! To much drama today! And I couldn't avoid it cause I was in the middle of it! (Oof, what drama was 15 yo Linda dealing with that she couldn’t avoid? Lol. I mean, I guess, Sophomore year was a bit full of drama lol) Anyway, I mean, they were pretty much the same. One wasn’t better than the other. One wasn’t worse than the other.

15. Can you live a day without TV? yeah. Now Music there is something I can't live without! Yep, Do it almost everyday. Sentiments about music remain the same. Lol.

16. Are you upset about anything? Yes. I'm annoyed about something and it's making me upset. (I assume this has something to do with the the drama mentioned earlier lol) Always. Anxiety & depression are a bitch. My rooms a mess & I can’t get myself to clean it. My shelves are still a mess.

17. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it? yeah. though i havent really had one yet. I mean, yeah. Even though I haven’t had one last, aside from friendships, but they’re worth it. 

18. Are you a bad influence? I hope not. If so, let me know.(again I took M's answer but it's true) Probably. Idk. Lol.

19. Night out or night in? Depends on what's going on and how I feel about it. Night in usually. I do like going out sometimes, but, like, to dinner. Maybe a movie or a show. But, you know, we’ve been in a panini press, the only thing I’ve been comfortable doing is going to dinner (fully vaxxed & masked). But I also prefer staying home anyway. (Like I usually just go to dinner with my family lol)

20. What items could you not go without during the day? my computer. my book. my journal and a pen. My phone. My journal (b/c I write in it every night, as a diary, 14yo Linda wrote stories). Uh. I didn’t take food or drinks into account in the og, so I won’t in those. But, yeah. My phone & journal. I can go a day without my laptop if I need to. (Went the whole trip in July without pulling it out, though maybe that’s not a good example since my anxiety on that trip was so high..) I want to say a book, but I’ve been in a massive reading slump so...I wish I read as much as 15yo Linda did..

21. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? I don't remember. I think it was myself.(if you want to know, ask me in person) I honestly don’t know. I don’t remember the last time I was in a hospital. 

22. What does the last text message in your inbox say? "Mrbobbybones:  wish ted would finally meet their mother already. geez. get to it. However, I see myself in that character more and more each episode." yeah. That's what it says. It's from Twitter. (Huh? and I can’t even go check b/c my inbox doesn’t go back to 2009 on Twitter?? (I haven’t had my account that long) Wait wait wait just remembered I used to get tweets to my phone as text messages lol)

Facebook messenger: “ Cool” From our group chat. Lol.

From actual text messages on my phone: “ heeey! Just put up the Tuesday PDS just for you  it’s a big one.” From Phillip Defranco’s text line Lol.

23. How do you feel about your life right now? I'm loving and hating it. but hey nobody gets out alive right? Uh..I mean. I’m alive. I have WiFi. Food. Family. I haven’t seen my friends in 2 years. (Minus Alex, b/c they were here in July to cat/house sit, but I saw them for like, one night..) There’s a lot that could be better. A lot that could be worse. 

24. Do you hate anyone? yes!!! Oof. I mean, kinda.

25. If we were to look in your Facebook Inbox, what would we find? some random conversations. most of my convos on her though have been in chat or through comments. Facebook Inbox is now Facebook Messenger. So you’ll find all my Facebook Messenger convos. Mostly our group chat. And side group chats for secret planning (birthdays & stuff). Plus other chats? Lol.

26. Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass? I better! (excuse me miss 15yo Linda you absolutely could have passed a drug test you ALSO didn’t drink or smoke or take any drugs lol) Yeah. Absolutely. I don’t drink or smoke or take any drugs so, yeah? Lol.

27. Has anyone ever called you perfect before? 

Yes. But I can't remember when... Yeah. Pretty sure. 

28. What song is stuck in your head? Gee by SNSD(Girls Generation) They're Korean. A few My Chemical Romance songs

29. Someone knocks on your window at 2:00 a.m., who do you want it to be? EDWARD CULLEN! Joke! lol. No I don't know. If it was Edward, I'd call the cops. whoever it is though better have an explaination or they are gonna get hit in the head with my Book of Shadows. (Maybe I wouldn’t mind Edward at my window though? Lol.) Uh. My friends? Lol. Idk if I want anyone knocking on my window at 2am.

30.Wanna have grandkids before you’re 50? I don't know....... Uh. No? Idk. Most likely not gonna happen. 

31. Name something you have to do tomorrow? I can't think of anything right now... Eat. Should probably clean my room.

32. Do you think too much or too little? Way to much! lol. Way way way too much

33. Do you smile a lot? i try to. I think I do. I get told that alot in Theater...

I think so

[goldenslumbersfanfiction]

If you're taking prompts, I'd love to see your take on Dani reuniting with Judy after Bly.

Read it here on AO3

//

It’s Carson who calls you first.

When you hear his voice on the other end of the phone, you feel like you could sing and cry at the same time. You feel like you should have called him ages ago, but you also feel like there never would have been enough time that would have felt right; too little time turning quickly into too much time between then and now.

Every time you’d think about him, you’d remember that the last time you saw him was about a week after the funeral. He used Eddie’s key to your house and found you right there on the couch. You hadn’t showered in five days, because he would always be in your bathroom mirror, and you couldn’t undress under his gaze. You weren’t making much sense, everything was a blur, but you must have gotten something across, because Carson came into the bathroom with you and held up a giant bath towel to block you from the mirror while you undressed and got under the hot spray, and he ordered pizza and a few penne vodka dishes that would heat up well for you for the next couple of days. He watched a movie with you, hugged you goodbye, and that was it.

But it’s years later, and you’ve traded one ghost for another, and he had asked your mother for your new number so he could call you for your birthday and catch up, because he just found a bunch of old photos from when you were all little, and he misses you.

So you talk, and it’s wonderful, and you missed him too. And he calls you again the next week, and it becomes a regular, beautiful thing you do every Sunday you can, and you talk about movies a lot, but you talk about everything. After a couple of months, you tell him about Jamie, and he tells you that he’s proud of you. He never asks you if you didn’t love Eddie, and you’re grateful, because he knows you did, so much, but he also knows that it takes time to learn who you are, and there shouldn’t be any guilt in that. He tells you about this guy that he recently broke up with, and you are shocked and delighted when he also tells you which presumed-straight boys from your high school he was making out with in the bathrooms during study hall.

It feels like something holy and uplifting, your phone calls with Carson. It feels like forgiveness and reconciliation and it feels like healing.

It’s an accident, one day, when Judy answers the phone.

You called Carson’s house to talk about My Blue Heaven which just came out last week. He told you that you had to go see it and call him back to talk about it. You were partial to Pretty Woman, which came out earlier that year, but you were ready to hear his tirade about how Steve Martin is the comedic genius of your generation, and how could it not be your favorite movie of the year.

This was the conversation you were ready for when Judy’s voice comes through the end of the receiver, and you feel as if you have been plunged into cold water at the shock of it. But her sweet voice still sounds like a particular kind of home, still holds your heart, even though she’s asking if anyone is on the line because you are silent, stunned by it, and it takes you a second to recalibrate, to find your voice again.

“Judy?”

“Yes?”

“Judy it’s...”

“Danielle?”

It surprises you how quickly she identifies you, because you don’t think Carson has told her about your phone calls. But you suppose, she did watch you grow, has known your voice as a little girl and as a teenager and as a woman, has heard it from across dinner tables, shouting on school playgrounds, has heard it through sore throats and through tears and through happiness.

Carson’s not home right now, but she tells you she just swung by to pick up some Tupperware that she sent him home with last week and needs back for a potluck tomorrow, but what a lucky coincidence, because she’s so happy to hear your voice. It strikes you how there she is, in his life, in his house, answering his phone, how close Carson has always been to her when he’s been talking to you. The idea of reaching out to her always seemed like something so far away, something so beyond what you were capable of reaching for, and so you lost all sense of what it might look like, sound like, feel like, to just tell her about your day and know she’s listening with all the love in her heart for you, even after all this time.

You talk to her for a little while. You tell her about The Leafling, about your business partner, about the Vermont winters and how she would absolutely hate them because she hates shoveling snow. She updates you on all of her sons and their new children or their new homes or jobs, and she talks about Eddie too, with a fondness that could only come with time.

But she tells you she’s planning a trip to New York with a bunch of her friends from church in a couple of months, just to see the sights and go to some Broadway shows, have Junior’s cheesecake, and a Nathan’s hot dog in Coney Island, but not to ride the Cyclone like some of her other crazy friends, her head would fall of if she did, she says, but she’d love to see you while she’s somewhat nearby.

You’d love to see her, too. You want to see her, need to, more than you ever thought you could need something that you didn’t know you needed just twenty minutes ago.

There’s a twinge in the back of your head, a tickle, a feeling, a sympathy, and perhaps, a jealousy, that you have not been forgotten by this woman who loved you a lifetime ago. That you have not been discarded or moved on from or buried. You’ve co-existed with this feeling for nearly four years now, and she doesn’t remember, but she feels, and you know her worries and her agonies well, and you know she was abandoned. But the lady from the lake is also you now, so she can feel what you feel as well if you let her, and so you share this with her because you think she might need it just as much as you do. You let her participate in this feeling of being missed and loved and remembered, and you let her run her hands along the fondness in your chest, let her wrap her arms around the way your eyes start to sting as you feel it fully.

Judy gives you her home phone number, just in case you forgot it, as if you ever could, like it isn’t burned into your memory, like the last four digits aren’t the PIN for your debit card. She tells you to call, and you can set something up.

You talk to Judy a few more times over the next couple of months, but unlike your conversations with Carson, you seem to have an unspoken understanding that you’ll share deeper updates when you’re face to face, heart to heart. You decide to meet her in New York in October. It’s Jamie’s favorite time to go on long drives, when the roads are surrounded with red, orange, yellow, green trees and blue sky for miles and miles, and she can let the windows down and feel the cool crisp air against her skin.

Carson jokes that you always liked Judy best, that of course you're seeing her first, when he’s been talking to you for months. You tell him it’s only because Judy agreed that Pretty Woman was better than My Blue Heaven, obviously, but that he is welcome to visit you in Vermont any time he wants. June, perhaps, and he laughs so loud, and tells you he’ll absolutely take you up on it, and you love this idea, of creating a new kind of life, an honest life, with Carson as your friend. You hope that Eddie would be happy, that he’d be as proud of it as you are, but it’s okay that you’ll never know.

You close the shop for the weekend and drive down to New York on a Friday, and when you get to the hotel, it all sort of starts to hit you a little bit more than it has before. Jamie can tell, and when you’re standing there in the middle of the room, between the crisp made bed and the window, unsure of what to do with any of your limbs or any of your thoughts, Jamie comes up to you and puts her arms around you, and you are so thankful that you have her. You are so thankful that Jamie is here for you, for this.

She had met your mother a couple of years ago, and it went about as well as you expected it to. But it’s Jamie, and she knows that Judy matters more, somehow. It’s Jamie, and she knows you better than anyone else, and the only other person you have ever been able to say that about, before her, was Judy.

Jamie takes you out, and your nerves about tomorrow aren’t forgotten, but they are at bay, and you have a beautiful night out with her. You go for a walk along the Hudson River after dinner, and you’re both tired when you get back to the hotel, but not tired enough to not take advantage of this king sized bed, and Jamie proves to you how much she loves you, how she’s right here for you, so close, and you prove it right back.

You sleep so well that night, curled up against Jamie’s skin, the only place you have ever truly felt like you belonged, aside from under Judy’s roof, and you know that the reason you are anxious to see her again tomorrow is only because you are worried she won’t be a safe place for you anymore. You had decided that you would be nothing but honest with her, and you are worried that she won’t recognize who you’ve become, will decide not to love you, will say goodbye to you after your lunch, disappear around a corner, and that’ll be the end of it.

When you tell all of this to Jamie in the early morning light, and she wraps her arms around your waist, kisses your neck where she’s tucked, and tells you that yes, it’s all possible, that this could happen, but that she knows how wonderful you are, how beautiful and perfect you are, and anyone who knows you a tenth as well as she does couldn’t ever turn away from you if they knew what was good for them. You’re blushing and smiling and hiding your face in the pillow, and you don’t know how it’s possible that Jamie can say things like that and make you feel so shy and freshly in love, when you’re lying here naked with her with a ring on your finger with years of nights and mornings just like this behind you.

You eventually get out of bed, and you dress, and the morning passes in a bit of a blur, and you kiss Jamie goodbye as you head out to lunch at the restaurant you picked near Judy’s hotel, and when you see her, she is standing alone on the sidewalk outside, looking up and down the street for you, excited and nervous like you are. She hasn’t spotted you yet, and you just take a moment to look at her, this woman who took you in and raised you like it was the easiest thing in the world.

You feel it again, that twinge, that tickle, in the back of your head, when you let the lady see that this woman is searching for you. It’s a mother’s love, and that impossibly never ending search for one more chance to hold her daughter close.

When you see her, it feels, at once, like no time has passed, and like you have both lived lifetimes apart, but she pulls you in to one of her too-tight hugs, and you sink into her and she smells exactly the same, and she feels just right, and you think, if you close your eyes, you might be eleven years old again, or nine, or twenty-two. You might be in her living room, or at your high school graduation, or at her son’s funeral, or here, on the corner of 24th and Madison after not having seen her for five years, but you know that you are home.

She holds your face between her palms, and gets a good look at you, runs her hands down your arms to your hands to squeeze them in hers, and she briefly falters when she feels the ring on your finger, looks down, and then back up at you with a surprised, but absolutely joyous smile.

“Oh...yeah.” You laugh a little, bring your hands up to your chest, fumble with the ring a bit. “I’m sort of...”

She looks at you with so much love, says, “Oh, Danielle. I can’t wait to hear everything.”

So you tell her, as much as you can, you’re as honest as you can be while leaving out the tickle in the back of your head, while omitting the last twenty minutes of her son’s life. Some information is best withheld, you think. Some lies spun out of love and protection. This lie, this omission, would have Eddie’s blessing, and so you feel no guilt.

You tell her about Jamie, and she is a bit surprised, but not upset. She’s so happy for you, and you can see it in her face, the truth of her joy when she asks to know more about her.

You tell her how you met, how after Bly you stuck together, travelled a bit, settled, opened a store together. When you tell her about the small ceremony you and Jamie had for yourselves on a trip to Utah, where you exchanged rings, just the two of you and the Trembling Giant at sunset, she says something you’ve never had the courage to voice, even after all your years thinking about it, after all the times you’ve dove deep into the pain of it with Jamie by your side.

“You never would have met Jamie, had he...you know.”

Had he lived.

Had he lived, you never would have been this happy.

She says it so matter-of-factly, so assuredly, but still so sad, and you think about something Jamie had told you the last time she grew a moonflower. How it’s meant to die, meant to break down and rise back up, but the memory of it...that’s what lasts. The work you put into it doesn’t go away, just because the bloom has wilted and crumbled. That’s why you grow a moonflower. To tend to it, to love it, for the brief time it’s here, because it’s worth it. You send that material back to the earth then, and you see what will grow next from its atoms.

“No, I...I probably wouldn’t have met her.”

“Well...” she sighs, “Maybe it was him you know? Maybe he...wanted to make sure you’d have someone. He would have wanted to make sure you were loved.”

“Maybe it was, yeah.” It’s a lovely idea, that Eddie might have guided you from another realm with a forgiving and loving hand right into Jamie’s embrace. You don’t have the heart to tell her that she isn’t wrong, that it was his gravity you were trying to escape when you found yourself in Jamie’s orbit.

“Danielle?”

“Yeah?”

She takes a deep shaky breath, and you feel like, maybe, she’s thought about what she’s about to say to you. Thought about it for some time.

“Honey, I want you to know...that you’ll always have a place in my family. But I don't want you to think that...that you owe me, or anyone, any sort of connection to Edmund. I really...I really just want you to be happy, and...I mean, he was my boy, you know? I think about him every day and I’ve got all of our memories, and that’s enough for me. I’m always going to be here to talk about him, if you want, but I don’t want you to think that’s the only reason I love you.”

Your throat is so tight, you can not possibly reply, but it’s Judy, and you don’t need to speak for her to understand you, so you just nod, and you wipe the tears that have fallen down your cheeks away with your napkin, and she reaches out and you place your hand in hers. You tell her that you love her, too.

It’s wonderful, getting to know her a little bit better like this. It’s beautiful, to learn about her as a woman, as a person, and not just as the mother who would always pack extra snacks in Eddie’s lunches because she knew he’d give them to you, not just as the women who always had the guest room made up for you, or who grounded her kids when they broke curfew, but as someone you can love outside of all of that, and for it all, too.

When you get home to Jamie, you are tired, and drained, but so full. You lie in bed and she lays behind you and you doze off at some point, but she’s still right there when you wake up, with her arm around you and her lips on your shoulder pressing kisses into your skin.

The rest of your time in New York is short, but lovely, and you go back home on Sunday afternoon, and it’s weeks before you realize that the tickle in your head has been oddly quiet, oddly introspective, and the lady has been much softer and kinder since you’ve reconnected with Judy.

You don’t know much, but you know she was left behind, by a daughter perhaps, and you hope you can show her that the world isn’t always cruel. That even when people do forget, it’s not because they really want to, but it’s always because people can only carry so much, and they’re making room for things. It’s always because they’re making space in their arms to hold other people close.

You think that the lady is contemplating this new idea that you’ve let her have these last few weeks. Reconnection. You think she’s learning that there’s forgiveness in it, that there’s undying love, and pain, and humility, and all types of wonderful things. You think she’s learning to be a little bit kinder, and with every batch of photos you exchange with Judy, every voice message you come home to on your answering machine, every time she makes you laugh and you feel like you’re fifteen again, you notice the swirling gravity of the lady stills, and you feel her rest, and inhale, and feel it all, too.

[cvmercns]

hi  my  loves  !  i  just  got  out  of  work  so  i’m  sry  this  is  late  &  rushed  but  tbh  that’s  pretty  on  brand  for  me  so  (☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)☞  .  anyways  i’m  nia  ,  she  /  her  pronouns  ,  and  this  is  luca  and  he’s  a  garbage  boi  so  here  we  go  !

luca cameron was spotted in the fashion district adorning vltn combat boots , with some airpod pros on . they’re most likely listening to daywalker! by machine gun kelly . you may know them as @lewcuh or as that dylan minnette lookalike . their twenty-third birthday just passed . while living in tribeca , they’ve gained a bit of a reputation . they’re known to be vagarious but on the other hand innovative . wonder if they’ll be the next person to hit the headlines . ( cismale / he / him )

NAME :  luca  anthony  cameron

AGE :  twenty - three

DATE  OF  BIRTH:  december 13th ,  1997

ZODIAC :   sagittarius  

PLACE  OF  BIRTH / HOMETOWN :  jersey  city  ,  new  jersey

GENDER :  cismale

PRONOUNS :  he  /  him

ORIENTATION :  pansexual 

PARENTS :  elliott  cameron  &  cassandra  scott

SIBLINGS :  xavier  cameron

CAREER :  musician  (  the  neighbourhood  career  claim  )

MUSE  PARALLELS  :  steve  -  o  (  slc  punk  ) ,  stu  (  scream  )  ,  patrick  verona  (  10  things  i  hate  about  you  )  ,  richie  tozier  (  it  )  ,  cliff  pantone  (  bring  it  on )  ,  jd  (  heathers  )

BACKSTORY

luca  was  born  in  jersey  city  on  a  cold  ass  ,  snowy  december  day 

his  parents  ,  at  the  time  ,  were  thrilled  to  add  another  member  to  their  small  family  after  trying  to  get  pregnant  for  years  after  giving  birth  to  their  first  son

from  what  luca  remembers  of  the  first  ten  years  of  his  life  ,  it  was  pretty  normal  ,  pretty  happy  aside  from  his  older  brother  doing  older  brother  things  to  make  his  life  hell

he  was  in  fifth  grade  was  when  he  started  to  notice  a  change  in  his  family  --  his  dad  seemed  to  work  a  lot  ,  slept  on  the  couch  often  ,  he  could  hear  arguing  coming  from  their  room  at  all  hours  of  the  day

his  brother  ,  about  fourteen  at  the  time  ,  would  distract  him  with  video  games  and  skateboarding  lessons  because  he  was  old  enough  to  know  what  was  going  on

the  next  year  was  when  his  parents  filed  for  divorce  ,  and  of  course  at  the  time  he  didn’t  know  it  was  because  his  dad  had  been  cheating  on  his  mom  but  he  did  get  remarried  awfully  quick  so  it  didn’t  take  a  genius  to  figure  it  out

his  mom  had  family  in  new  york  so  that’s  where  she  moved  them  ,  close  enough  that  they  could  spend  their  mandatory  weekends  with  their  dad  ,  although  once  his  new  wife  got  pregnant  those  visits  dwindled  down  to  nothing

and  when  he  was  fourteen  his  mom  got  remarried  too  ,  the  same  year  his  brother  left  for  college  ,  leaving  luca  to  deal  with  them  alone

so  high  school  was  rough  for  him  .  he  was  in  detention  a  lot  ,  one  of  those  kids  that  you  just  expected  to  get  in  trouble  on  any  day  ending  in  a  y

he’s  done  it  all  --  smoked  cigarettes  behind  the  bleachers  ,  spiked  the  punch  at  dances  ,  graffitied  any  available  surface  ,  argued  with  teachers  over  the  smallest  things

he’s  generally  not  a  dick  ,  so  the  therapists  his  stepdad  sent  him  to  said  he  did  it  for  attention  and  also  probably  because  he  has  add  (  he  just  sold  whatever  they  prescribed  him  so  joke’s  on  them  )

his  stepdad  wasn’t  terrible  ,  but  obviously  not  the  paternal  type  ,  always  acting  like  luca  was  some  cat  that  he  just  had  to  make  sure  to  leave  food  out  for

but  jeez  was  he  rich  ,  some  soulless  businessman  type  that  liked  to  make  money  but  liked  to  spend  it  even  more  ,  always  flying  his  mom  out  to  tropical  vacations  and  buying  luca  whatever  new  iphone  or  playstation  just  came  out  ,  probably  just  to  keep  him  from  bitching  too  much

his  mom  ,  though  he  loves  her  to  death  and  knows  she  was  just  trying  to  give  him  the  best  possible  life  ,  was  easily  won  over  by  the  money  ;  she  loved  the  nights  spent  at  expensive  restaurants  and  hotels  ,  loved  going  to  broadway  shows  and  spending  thousands  on  a  single  shopping  trip

so  she  wasn’t  around  much  either  ,  but  luca  kept  his  mouth  shut  because  he  figured  she  deserved  it  after  dealing  with  his  dad  for  all  those  years

and  luca  figured  he’d  make  the  best  out  of  the  situation  ,  asking  his  stepdad  for  music  lessons  and  drum  sets  and  guitars  because  he  had  always  been  interested  in  learning  to  play

he  met  his  best  friends  and  bandmates  through  school  --  at  first  they  were  just  fucking  around  and  jamming  in  one  of  their  garages  ,  and  when  the  idea  of  making  a  band  came  up  he  just  went  with  it  ,  never  having  been  all  that  interested  in  academics  anyways

one  of  them  had  a  family  member  in  the  music  business  which  is  how  their  first  ep  got  made  when  luca  was  eighteen  ,  and  unexpectedly  shot  them  into  the  spotlight  when  their  song  sweater  weather  blew  up  (  the  neighbourhood  is  his  career  claim  --  lead  vocals  anyways  --  and  as  of  rn  they’ve  put  out  the  albums  i  love  you  ,  wiped  out  ,  and  the  neighbourhood  )

PERSONALITY

luca  is  ...  for  sure  a  sagittarius  askdflj

he  loves  change  ,  loves  switching  things  up  constantly  because  he  gets  bored  faster  than  the  flash  can  run  a  mile

for  that  reason  ,  he’s  kind  of  a  terrible  boyfriend  .  not  that  he’d  cheat  or  anything  ,  but  it’s  hard  to  hold  his  attention  and  keep  him  in  one  place

he  does  try  because  he’s  a  very  loyal  person  ,  like  will  for  sure  go  to  jail  for  you  if  he  loves  you  ,  but  it  does  take  a  lot  of  dedication  to  become  someone  important  to  him

he’s  a  super  fun  person  to  be  around  ,  always  up  for  anything  ,  doesn’t  stay  in  a  bad  mood  for  too  long  (  partly  because  he  has  a  shit  memory  but  oh  well  )

but  he  does  have  his  mood  swings  here  and  there  ,  you  never  rly  know  what’s  gonna  set  him  off  ,  he  could  be  laughing  one  minute  and  then  throwing  things  at  a  wall  the  next

should  probably  go  to  therapy  again  but  he’d  sooner  eat  glass

might  have  a  partying  problem  but   ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  he  got  super  famous  at  eighteen  what  else  can  you  expect

probably  high  99%  of  the  time

he  likes  to  think  he’s  a  bad  boy  but  he’s  a  fucking  sweetheart  ,  11/10  cries  at  tiktoks  of  dogs

speaking  of  which  ,  he  has  an  alaskian  malamute  named  squidward

idk  what  else  to  add  here  ,  the  backstory  was  pretty  long  so  i’ll  give  y’all  a  break  <3

so  that’s  it  !  if  u  wanna  plot  (  which  i  would  luv  )  u  can  like  this  &  i’ll  come  message  u  ,  or  u  can  dm  me  here  or  on  discord  𝔡𝔯. 𝔪𝔞𝔫𝔱𝔦𝔰 𝔱𝔬𝔟𝔬𝔤𝔤𝔞𝔫#9874  .  can’t  wait  to  rp  with  all  u  cuties   ❤️

[barbasbodaciousbeard]

IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE, LET THEM GO: PART 9

Summary: Since starting with SVU, Sonny hadn’t kept much terribly close to the chest. The squad knew about his family, growing up on Staten Island, the classes at Fordham. What was hidden was why he didn’t date. Sonny Carisi was also separated from his childhood sweetheart, a separation neither ever took to divorce. They had the same haunts. They’d grown up neighbors. Their paths crossed every few months, and divorce talks would turn into reminiscing would turn into a night spent together, sometimes sex sometimes just talking until the early morning. It always ended with one of them waking up alone however. How will that change when the squad finds out?

Pairings: Sonny Carisi x Original Character

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8

A/N: Ayyy, they’re in New Orleans, a place I know well enough to write about.

November 2015

“Tor, where are you draggin’ me?” Sonny laughed, hand in Victoria’s as they made their way through Jackson Square. It was almost eerie past midnight.

“You said you were hungry! We’re a block away from something I think you’ll like.”

“Doll, we’re in New Orleans. We’re always a block from something I’ll like.” What he liked was seeing her so in her element. The city had a soul more like hers, and seeing her pull him through the streets made him feel like he was a teenager with a crush again instead of a man celebrating his thirtieth birthday with his wife. They’d just dropped their bags in the hotel after their flight. She’d found them a place steps from Jackson Square and St. Louis Cathedral, and in the night, her cheeks were flushed pink from the wind coming off of the Mississippi River and excitement. 

“There’s no line at Cafe du Monde at one in the morning,” she grinned, giving an exaggerated flourish. “Louisiana zeppoli sound good? Beignets.”

“You get me.” They sat at the little metal table, and he looked out at the empty square. When they’d come so long ago, her mother had gotten a friend to lend her their apartment, and the pair had taken the trolley to the zoo or aquarium or museum during the day. This trip, he was excited to go to bars and hear live music and have cocktails. Come back to a hotel where they could order room service. He was determined to make another trip to the zoo as well. The pictures from before showed two lanky teenagers pretending they didn’t like each other. Now they’d been together a decade plus.

“You got a little messy,” she grinned, Sonny having exhaled at the wrong time. Powdered sugar was everywhere, but the broad smile as he ate was perfect. Victoria took a picture of Sonny with his crinkled eyes and dimpled grin, covered in powdered sugar with a beignet in front of him. He polished it off, paying before he leaned to kiss her as she laughed. He tasted like airport coffee, pastry, and sugar as he pulled her close on the street outside.

“You know, it’s officially the second now. You’re thirty!”

“I guess I am,” he chuckled, kissing her again.

“Happy birthday, cher. I guess you oughta get me back to the hotel so we can celebrate…” His goofy grin turned wicked as he pulled her down St. Ann’s Street to the hotel, scooping her up bridal style when they got to their hallway. Victoria squealed, slipping the key from her bag to unlock the door for him and he kicked it closed behind them. He woke with her wrapped around him and sun from the courtyard filtering in. Thirty was going to be much better, he could already tell. When she woke, she felt his fingers tracing her spine, and she curled closer into him. 

“Mornin’ handsome.” She always developed an accent when she was around southerners. Her mom had given her a little twang, but the Louisiana accent was thick now, and he loved it. 

“Mornin’ doll. You sleep okay?”

“You tired me out.” He was rewarded with a crooked grin, and Sonny kissed her softly and pulled her close again. “Happy birthday. What do you want to do today?”

“Order breakfast in? Maybe go to the zoo?”

“You want to go to the zoo?”

“Yeah. It was what we did last time when I realized I had a crush on you. Could be good before we go to dinner and that burlesque show.”

“It’s going to be perfect,” she grinned. “Anything you wanna do. All day.”

“Anything?” The impish smile was back, and they didn’t have breakfast for another couple of hours. Watching Sonny as they made their way to the zoo, she grinned, arms wrapping around his waist. 

“You’re cute.”

“Am I?” 

“Yeah. I like how excited you get about things.”

“Is that why you call me a puppy so often?”

“A little,” she chuckled, buying their tickets and leading him in. 

“Better than a lanky noodle,” he grinned, arms around her waist as they watched the flamingos near the entrance. Whenever they planned to take this vacation, he hadn’t really anticipated how nice it would be to have a whole swath of the country between him and all the dark things he dealt with at work. In the city, he would pass places that brought a case to mind easily, even if he wasn’t really thinking about it. They’d walk by a bar and some part of his brain noted that was where the vic in the case last year was assaulted. In New Orleans, he knew there was still crime. He could even guess dangerous spots. But, he didn’t have names and faces and stories. Instead, he had the old independent bookstore with no air conditioning he’d followed Victoria through, the humidity and heat making him sweat straight through his t-shirt. Here, there was the little area he’d sat and stared as Victoria watched the orangutans with a broad grin. They’d definitely be stopping there. And he was excited for the Louisiana Swamp portion. Those were the two he had the strongest memory of. As if she knew, Victoria took his hand, tugging him towards the fountain and to the roman candy wagon just before the path to the monkeys.

“I almost forgot about this,” he chuckled, fishing a dollar from his pocket. “We goin’ chocolate and vanilla?”

“Duh.” She took the long sticks of what was basically taffy wrapped in wax paper gladly. It was as stretchy and messy as he remembered, and they walked happily, pinching off pieces and passing it back and forth. Between the orangutans and gorillas was the same wooden seating area, and they sat. 

“Y’know, I think this is where I realized I was in love with you,” he said, leaning back against the tree trunk that grew in the middle. “You were watching the baby orangutan. Got so excited when they told you his name and stuff. And then you were telling everybody that came after the zookeeper left everything like you were the new tour guide. I remember looking at ya in the sun in that flowery spaghetti strap dress and all your hair up and this big smile and knowing it was gonna be you.”

“Really?” she asked, head tilted as he nodded. Now she was in one of his pullovers tucked into jeans, bundled up from the breeze. It was twelve years later, and she was just as perfect in the sun. She leaned to kiss him sweetly, staying close. “Wanna know something?”

“What?”

“I realized I loved you in the swamp part. You were so excited, and I remember already realizing I liked you. Then there’s that statue of the swamp monster? The rugaru when you turn the corner? We were there and a kid ran the corner ahead of his mom and got scared. He started crying and got embarrassed and you just sat down and told him the rugaru scared you too and hung out the minute for his mom to catch up. Knew it then I wanted you forever.”

“We’re real disgusting, aren’t we?”

“Just a little,” she smiled, kissing him again. It was nice to sit in the sun beside him, taking turns pointing out when there was activity in each enclosure. Sonny still smiled just like he did when they were teenagers, but he was more relaxed now that she had him this far from the city. His shoulders carried less tension and his smile always reached his eyes. They’d be taking a yearly vacation from here on out. They needed the time away from the city.

“If your mom had raised you here, our lives would be so different,” he mused as they leaned against the railing in the swamp portion. They took turns looking into the green of the swamp water to point out alligators floating along. 

“I’d be a swamp witch.” Her voice was serious enough Sonny couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped him. 

“And I’d probably have ended up a priest.”

“Good and evil. Are we an unholy union then?”

“Nah. Told ya before, doll. Preordained by the big guy. Might not have found you when I was five. But you’d have ended up stuck with me any way.”

“It means the world to me how strongly you believe that. I ever told you? Even when we were separated, I knew we wouldn’t get divorced, but I’d get scared we couldn’t fix it.”

“Me too. But we’re here. I get to start my thirties with ya. And we’ll have babies and grandbabies and great grandbabies.”

“We will. And short term? We’ll have a lot more trips. Get more breaks.”

“I’d like that a lot. It’s nice being way out here. Wanna do it more.”

They made their way to the hotel in time to shower before dinner and to make it to the bar putting on the burlesque show in time for drinks. Early on, Victoria had figured out Sonny was a sucker for old school burlesque. She’d done a boudoir shoot for him done up with all the vintage trimmings, and one night, she’d convinced him to attend a burlesque show at home, one with a live band. That, he’d liked. There was a bar on Canal Street, Burgundy, that had a local burlesque troupe perform on the weekends. The place was sultry when they walked in, all deep velvets and a glittering chandelier. She’d kissed his cheek, going to powder her nose before she ordered. They’d dressed up, and Sonny leaned against the counter waiting to order. 

“This seat taken?” asked a petite brunette, and he didn’t think anything of it.

“Nah. I’m going to a table.”

“You’re not from around here, are ya?”

“Visiting from New York,” he shrugged, still watching the bartender. 

“And here I was hoping you’d be a local. It’s a shame I’ll only see you tonight.”

“Yeah. It’s the only night they got the show. Came for my birthday.”

“Well, happy birthday.” The bartender stopped, and he ordered two drinks, the champagne one with rose water he knew Victoria would like and whatever the specialty was with whiskey for himself. 

“That for me?” she asked, and the way she tilted her head told him he was an idiot. He suddenly took in the way she was leaning towards him, eyes going wide. Luckily, he could see Victoria in the background, and she chuckled as he caught her eye. One thing he was grateful for was the fact she knew he could be dumb. He looked at women, sure. Victoria looked at men sometimes. That didn’t matter because they had no interest in doing anything with anybody else. He didn’t, however, tend to realize the eyes a woman was giving him. 

“It’s for me,” Victoria smiled, wrapping an arm around Sonny’s waist easily and resting the hand with her wedding ring on his chest.

“Sorry. I didn’t realize…” Victoria just gave her a smile and a nod, taking her drink gratefully and following Sonny to their table. His cheeks were pink and Victoria couldn’t help but laugh as she slid beside him on the booth side of the table facing the stage. 

“Tor, I had no clue,” he said like she was terribly upset. She cared just enough to wrap the territorial arm around him, but not enough to scold him. Hell, it was endearing. “I wouldn’t ever wanna flirt with anybody but you so sometimes I miss it.”

“Dom, I’m not mad. You’re hot as hell, and it’s really sweet how clueless you are. Not your fault other women notice the hot part.”

“Shuddup,” he muttered, ears turning red now. “You don’t notice when guys flirt with you either.”

“I do too!”

“Nah. The guy at the zoo? The one that was friendly until I showed up? Doll, he had been checkin’ you out.”

“What? No. He just wanted to know where the food was.”

“Oh? That’s why he was standing outside the ordering window when he asked you that?”

“Shit.” Sonny laughed, slipping an arm around her. 

“It’s okay. I kind of like showing up like ‘Yeah, she’s hot. And she’s my wife.’” 

“I like doing the same to you.”

“Love you, Tor.”

“And I love you, Dom. Happy birthday.”

Tags: @cycat4077​ @fear-less-write-more​