#ONE OR THE OTHER. THE NARRATIVE SACRIFICE MUST BE PAID.

[tamaharu]

link shouldve given up his arm to turn zelda back. ive been thinking about this for three hours straight.

[birdbrain-npts]

IHNMAIMS ID Pack

Pt: IHNMAIMS ID Pack /end pt

IHNMAIMS = I have no mouth and I must scream

Names: AM, Apep, Apoc, Basilisk, Benny, Change, El, Electric, Ellen, Eternal, Fear, Gore, Gorr, Gorristar, Immortal, Kali, Nim, Nimdok, Poe, Roko, Slug, Tech, Ted, Teddie, Teddy, Harlan, Harley, Tor, Turian, Twist, Yama

Pronouns: 5/5s, allied/allieds, ally/allys, AM/AMs, bane/banes, computer/computers, cruel/cruels, ev/evil, evil/evils, hate/hates, hope/hopeless, imm/immortal, immortal/immortals, menace/menaces, nanoangstrom/nanangatroms, neg/negative, save/saves, savior/saviors, slug/slugs, tor/torture, torture/tortures, ⚡/⚡s, ⚰️/⚰️s, 🖥️/🖥️s, 🥩/🥩s, 🪦/���s

Titles: one of the survivors, prn who ended the world, prn who is tortured [ endlessly ], prn who is trapped / tormented, prn who made a [ great ] sacrifice, prn who paid the price, prn who regrets surviving, prn who survived, the mercy killer, the once-human, the one / prn who must scream, the one / prn with no mouth, the slug, the tormented survivor

Genders: Cogitoergosumquotic, Hatedestroyer, Hategirl, Hateroleic, Hatelatchdentity, Angegender, Hatebodiment, Angspike, Enteaspike, Nanoangstromhatequoteic, Hategender, Hucompushipmanyc, Computerredacted, Paravirus, Computergender

Other ids: Hater Honorifics, Odioromantic, Alderhate, Hatevior, Computerstelic, Desirscary, Desirimmortal, Doomed by the Narrative, Aldermegaputer

Text in bold is: Names, Pronouns, Titles, Genders, and Other ids respectively

All term names are links

Requested by Anon

Tagging @id-pack-archive

[finelyageddragons]

Currently in love with the relationship between the Grey Wardens and being doomed by the narrative, especially with how the HOF subverts that relationship so here's a 3am rant about it. Enjoy! The wardens are ghosts. They are born by letting go of everything you had before and drinking poison to bind your fate to the darkspawn and promise that your life and perhaps more importantly, your death belongs to them. The whole joining is a terrifying experience, you're drinking the blood of monsters and seeing a corrupt god in your mind and waking up to see those who died around you and being told you'll meet the same fate soon enough you've just been given more time to get there because to sacrifice, to die is a warden's purpose. Even if you survive becoming a warden, your best case scenario is sacrificing yourself to end the blight but it's far more likely you'll die fighting darkspawn or even more likely lose your mind and have to go to the deep roads to be lost and have your death be your last act of defiance in the face of this overwhelming wave of evil waiting to rise again. The best thing that can happen to a warden is to die in a meaningful way because you gave away your life the moment you drank that blood. All you are now is a soldier waiting to die in war and hopefully take the enemy down with you. It is tragic and haunting and noble and so full of grief. Grief for the live you gave behind and for the one you'll never have. Every warden spends every day of their life hoping not for a future or any life for themselves but simply to make their death mean something which is an incredibly interesting mental state and I could go on about how that effects individuals and messes with their values so that corruption is rife but what started this whole thing is Fereldan.

A wonderful post by @sapphim (which I don't know how to cite but I wanna give credit so if there's a way please tell me) discussed how beneficial it was for the wardens that the fifth blight occured in Fereldan and how much they lost by it being solved so soon. To put it simply, they wanted to sacrifice Fereldan as a lost cause and use it as an example of why they wardens shouldn't be neglected. They wanted it to be known of how much of a sacrifice they make an how important their duty by letting the country of Fereldan be an example of what happens when no one is there to do it and that the narrative has doomed everyone, that the world's crimes will be paid for unless someone is willing to be selfless and bear the burden to give the world another chance. Andraste would have been a great warden I'm sure. In the eyes of the warden, Fereldan is tainted just like their blood, it is promised to the darkspawn just like they are, willingly or not it bears the duty that all wardens do and must make the sacrifice they do too. For the greater good. To stop the darkspawn. It's better you having a death that matters than a life that lasts. This is the psychology of the wardens and they are applying those same beliefs to all of Fereldan. Why must they be the only ones doomed by the narrative? There is no surviving this story and there is saving the world there is only killing the darkspawn before it kills you. Thedas is at war with the archdemons and until they're all dead, there is no peace, there is only preparing for the next battle. There is no building a life, no building a country, there is nothing to protect because it is all doomed.

The way duty and sacrifice and the promise of the Grey Wardens must alter their values and perspective on life is fascinating and there is so much to explore here but what's important for this post is that the foundation of their entire order is that they are already dead.

This then brings us to the HOF and cheating death. Duncan is like the grim reaper in Origins the way he comes and snatches your soul at the end of each origin which I honestly love and it ties in so well to the idea that wardens are ghosts given you die in every other version of the story without him but that's the story of all wardens. They all die a symbolic death at the joining so that's okay but then Ostogar happens. Flemeth happens. You should have died. Fereldan should have been lost. Remember, the duty of the wardens is dying not surviving but you did survive, snatched away by a god. Every other warden has died thinking their paying the price for an absent god yet this goddess not only favours you, she changed fate for you. Every other warden throughout history has paid the price but not you. Not Fereldan. You get to cheat the fate while it dooms everyone else. Can you imagine how that must have felt for the other wardens? How much they must hate the hero for stealing the martyr Fereldan was set to be and making all their losses naught but a tragedy when it could have been so much more? Not only did you escape your own death but you stole the value of theirs. You survived which goes against everything the wardens are made for.

Going even further than that, you have the dark ritual where you can actively choose to cheat death again. When every other warden has had to give their life, had to sacrifice and lose and grieve and poison their humanity as they did their bodies, you get to escape it all. Wardens have struggled for decades to have a foothold in Fereldan but you'll go so far as to choose their ruler for them without any consultation. You have been a warden less than a year, ended a battle that they prepared for over hundreds of years and sacrificed more hundreds of years fighting in the past and not only have you defied everything they defined themselves by, you have made them look like fools and decided their fate for them. You have stolen the meaning of the death of every warden, you have stolen their martyrs and the justifications for their actions and by keeping your own life and humanity, by resisting their poison you have made them all look like monsters.

The hero was doomed by the narrative as all wardens are but they rewrote fate, they stole their life back so many times and by surviving, they created a whole new narrative that ruined everything the wardens were built upon. The wardens were made to be ghosts, not heroes. They're meant to die and be remembered nobly so they can be redeemed for they had to do to get there but not you hero. You get to shame us all, don't you?

[megarywrites]

the writeblr garden’s spooky season prompts

day 2: haunting

The question for this prompt was “is there anything that haunts your characters” and yeah, there is in Seafoam. Again, would like to keep this as spoiler free as possible, so i won’t divulge everything lol

In the first chapter, Thala finds out that her father has died. He was a sailor and had been her whole life, and the captain of the ship he worked on and a long-time family friend broke the news to her and her mother that Arteras had been thrown overboard in a storm and was lost in the waves. This is the inciting incident for the entire plot, but his death especially haunts the narrative of the first book, because, well…

In Grea, which is the nation this story is set in, the government is a theocracy that has decreed that once an unmarried woman comes of age (turns 20), she must go to work in the latridom (a house of worship akin to a cathedral) as a Stoli (a nun, but silent). When the story opens, Thala is months away from being 20, and can barely stand to be in the presence of most of the boys her age, and the one she can stand, she thinks of him as a brother.

So, no marriage has not seriously crossed her mind, not even after Arteras’ passing. No, her first thought, as a way to support her mother now that they no longer had a sufficient income, was to become a Stoli because she had heard that the families of the girls who went were paid a stipend for their services to the state. She’s determined to do this, until Sosta comes into the picture and her mother takes her place as his wife.

In theory, her mother should have been taken care of, but if you read yesterday’s post, then you’ll know why Thala begins to doubt her decision. So, she’s definitely haunted by her choice here of whether she should take her friend up on his offer of marriage, even if everything within her rebels at the thought. And that doesn’t go away even as we get into the second book.

Below is a little snippet of her being anxious about this before she becomes a Stoli (and everything truly goes to shit):

Try as I might, I couldn’t rip my gaze away from the Pontus, nor my mind from thoughts of Zeno. Why was I so… Every part of me should want to form a union with him. It made total sense for me to marry him. It was the natural progression of our…our friendship. Right? And yet…and yet I was reluctant. Scared, even. Just at the thought. But why? What was wrong with me to be so adamantly against, to…to be so repulsed by the solution that would fix all of our problems? Maybe it was just anxiety at the thought of what a marriage would bring. I’d heard the other women in the village talk about their own reluctance to be married, about the discomfort that usually accompanied the marriage bed. I rubbed my forehead again, shuddering as I tried to picture what that would feel like. I knew a little bit about what would be expected from me, just from what Osyne said about her husbands—both the current and the former—and…it was less than appealing. Revolting, actually. Not to them, of course, but to me. But wasn’t this the outcome that everyone expected—me and Zeno? Married? Maybe, as time passed and I grew accustomed to married life, it wouldn’t be too bad. But… I still didn’t want to. And I couldn’t rationalize that nauseated hesitation away. Could I really not sacrifice my own happiness, like Ma had? Was I truly that selfish? If I loved her at all, I’d run straight down to the docks and beg Zeno to make me his wife. Tears sprang to my eyes, blurring my vision as I stared miserably after the ship. As the sails billowed in the breeze and the oars poked out of the hull, their paddles descending into the sea to push it into the current. Or the wind. There was still time to catch it, to speak to him, if only I could move. But I just sat there, weighed down by my heavy heart as the Pontus pushed away from the shore.

In the second book, we’re introduced to another character who is haunted by her choices. Her name is Tofana Aurado, and she’s Solera’s mother. This post is already long enough, however, but just know that she is currently haunting the first book, except she’s specifically haunting Geros for what he did (more on that later ofc lol)

[cosmicangel888]

Manifesting 5D is & must Re-write Broken Systems & Offer the Sick & Imbalanced a Final Chance to Redeem and Heal

The awakening comes from what is really going on under the radar, what is wiped under the rug for years and years in which the indiscretions, the deceit, the imbalances that women simply deal with for their world in work, employment, vocation, careers are not the equal, not fair in how we are treated; the DM are trusted with their titles, and their names within communities, and though they live secret lives, secret intentions, corrupt groups of forcing outcomes and narratives that serve their agendas' and their cycles of elitism that have a slight of hand on every level of the justice system in which the victims are never ever brought forth to justice.

There is no DM, no emperor, or Heavenly King that will ever be the ring-leader of any group, satanic cult-like group so they can have a 'one-up' and sexual groups and chanting of purpose, spell work, voodoo and root / graveyard work and any other vibrational spiritual agenda so the truth, the cover is not blown;

While those that were taken from, impaled for years, dopplegangered, stolen from, papers wsigned and court documents indicating who is not mentally balanced and putting my own parenthood into question; when all the while all I ever offered was truth, light work, inspirational empowerment, devoted care and commitment to everything I touched; asked anyone that truly knows of me; long-term, friends that are in my inner circle, my employers & boss; a total of 5 and family all would say my attributes;

the most honest and trustworthy,

the most generous and steadfast, loyal

And so dear ones, here are the facts in the same story narrative of what I have offered for the past 5 years since the hell on wheels was brought into my lane to take based on my spiritual ranking; the ranking of spiritual that think the satanic groups have clout and pull to sacrifice and barter the very mother and earth healer of which has never been here before -

I have not signed any offers, documents, or insurance papers of any kind over the past 13 years in any way with any company, with any person, nor agreed to

of sound mind and body, absolutely pure of truth and heart, knowing my rights, on all realms and of the most high spiritual ranking of the Most High; no agreements, not proposals of past, ever, had a boss of my own work, not any level of permissions, or approvals of my work to anyone or any group

My work was taken, used, copied and used in other false and masked business calling it their own, and LLC BCLTD company registered under false community leaders of my work, whereas monies trading hands, in nefarious ways that used my wisdoms, stalking me constantly and relentlessly doing spell work to the legal systems to hold up and delay divorce settlement - heaven for bid a divine feminine asking only for the bare minimum and not only have been stolen from, spell work for years, and how dare I ask for what is legally and in minimum to be of given after 18 + years of devoted motherhood & supporting all within the circle of 'family' and little did I know, the other half was dragging every devil in town to our door and targeting me so that I would silence and be brought back into a submissive role

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENLD2tYvyFI

I have stated every week for years, in court with lawyers, and in emails, proven, dated, and signed by me; sound mind body and soul; know of my rights in greater intelligence than those targeting and even paid ones of the systems in slight of hand to the corrupt elite - while doing magic, playing games and masking community business that is not of higher and greater good - simply toxic and when a DF wants her liberation of such;

My rights are my rights; and know that much was taken, stolen, and damages, defamation, and wrong being done under the noses of those in the systems and lawyers not asking more questions, and spiritual falsehoods fooling many and manipulation of all narratives;

Signatures being falsified, documents being cohered, and most often than not entrapment, and blackmail involved all through my 1 case; for why a group of many; cult like behaviour and none coming forward to say anything as many knew what was done to me?

One by One all will come forth, the darkness that is - falling into itself;

New systems and healing will be evidence for all - truth will always prevail;

There is no person of the past that will ever ever ever be a part of my future; the bridges were burned and damage done - how dare the loyalty and kindness and good heartedness to many be corrupt, be degraded and dismantled as if I meant 0 nothing - and how dare our children be left out of such light, energy, and joy; for when you damage a mother, a true earth angel - the damage equally done to the children - when you play with what you have no idea about laws, higher order, and heavenly ranking - may God be with you - and all is in Gods hands;

The past have disgusted me thoroughly - you will never ever have a space or place at my table - damage done - keep the money - Joanna is alive; if the money was worth it - may you all have a party and laugh out loud -

Peace be with all - and may one day we awaken to the sacredness of life;

I AM ALIVE - I am Joanna, a divine messenger and I know there are shady group of corrupt spell casters, commuting masked businesses in Calgary and those that have known, know, the being silent to what was done, by many to hold me back, take from me, cause me harm and death spells, stolen mail, and more; all very criminal -

You do not need top notch investigators to sort out;

delays upon delays, more people pulled in than necessary, behind the scenes illnesses to those in the groups, when magic and spell work backfires;

Usually the most shady ones are those that have had a life of deceit, knowing how and who to sway, to work within their own narrative and gains while the rest suffer and are the ones that work in all ways to blame and shift attention to those that are innocent;

A video to tune in to;

~ Source, Spirit, the universal lessons that all have to face - learn your own side, your own lanes and do the inner work; none escape this - regardless of what level of pious they think they hold;

if all was on the 'up and up' and there was respect for the DF and what was legally owed and even in the bare minimum, the 'doing all the right things' in truth, kindness, devotion, and yet you are one left most damaged and most taken from -

just because we are light workers; women, and kind, means everything to that which is in Heavenly order; we are here to shift the corruption in every way that misogyny and enslavement; discrimination from all levels, systems, and those involved; and I will play my part to break up the horrible manipulations done and how much was done; for the love of money - I suppose nothing else matters -  ©

All matters to me - I know and I trust in that which is sacred;

The past is done, over, closed, and never to re-open again - I know every word, and every offering was pure love, devotion for human healing - the broken sytesms that even have warped corrupt beings in them supporting the criminals - victims eventually give up or get taken out by which looks like natural causes, or enough suicidal spell work done that most could not survive; But I DID

I will not silence - I will not stand down; elite or not - I walk with the Heavens and there are not enough lawyers in the city to bring the level of Justice and truth that Spirit will - behind the veil, under and behind the scenes - God will assure that truth and good will and what is meant to be will be - without doubt and hesitation - I know truth.

When you are a speaker, truth teller, healer, teacher, and conduit, your own personal story will be placed on behalf of the collective; for all face discrimination, false family and friends that claim your good earned destiny's and all you do to try to get 1 step ahead becomes like walking through hell;

There will never ever be any reconciliation beyond a forgiveness to all in court proceedings; do not come forth with a last second contrived apology that only allows for you to feel good, and relief but was possible for years while I was living in the hell you all impaled to destroy me - I am over it - I know truth and I will not stand down; the past is done, over, closed; leave me be and speak the lawyer for any engagement -

jnelson@jmbarristers.com

The collective messages on most platforms are the story of my 1 - I am a speaker, epidemiology, false flames, Christic healer, false community leaders; and know that the first will be last and the last will be first the meek and truthful will be shown;

You should not have to guess, put pieces together, and seeking every avenue to simply close out something major or minor; there should not have others in dominance of how your life moves or doesn't and how your life is held up, put on hold, put through hell due to another persons deceit, manipulation, withholding;

Blessings and light

Joanna

JoannaCosmicAngel@yahoo.com

#ascension #crimeinCalgary #healingcorruption

#healingdivinefeminine #discrimination #truth #healinginjustice #healingcorruptsystems

[just-the-cool-page]

The Piper at

the Gates of Dawn

Fifty five years ago, the Floyd embarked on their journey in ernest with their first full-length album. Syd Barrett, their original front man, lyricist and composer, and admittedly the most camera-friendly of the bunch. He would also prove to be the most vulnerable of the band, soon spiraling into mental illness, at least partly due to excess use of hallucinogens. Figuratively or literally, Syd got them on stage and into the light. He was their light. And ever after his departure, the Floyd have voiced their gratitude for that light pushing them into growing success. Whether comprised of regret, remorse, or just sorrow, they never seem to have lost sight of the cost Syd paid, presumably not at their urging. But it must be (or have been for a long time) a kind of psychological survivors' guilt. Syd didn't die of an overdose like other beautiful artists. Nor was he abandoned really. His descent into madness made him genuinely impossible to work with. Original management for the Floyd even chose to keep Barrett over them! Barrett and Pink Floyd were equally productive through 1970. The band even supported production of his studio albums, particularly David Gilmour, Syd's "replacement." Ever since, Gilmour's heart and character has matched his looks, that of a lion, and not the madman. (He would later discover and support Kate Bush in launching her remarkable career in music.)

After a few albums of more collaborative work, with Waters often at the helm, Gilmour would "right their ship" with the Meddle album and set their course for more cohesive works. Collaborative work continued with a more balanced feel, but with Waters (more honed than tamed by Gilmour) soon regaining control of concept, composition and lyrics. Even when delving into matters of mental disturbance on The Dark Side of the Moon, the band itself wasn't going insane. Complete balance was achieved between daring concepts, musical and lyrical composition, and mastery of production. Highly narrative, visual, and heavy with sound-scaping, listening to Dark Side is more akin to watching a Kubrick film in 70mm on the big screen with surround sound. Plainly, Gilmour's calm influence on the band was a healthy one and not heavy-handed. Collaboration was at its strongest. Coherence and sobriety were no longer the enemy.

Emboldened by the band's heartiness though, Waters' control went over the deep end, culminating, quite ironically, with his mega-opus, the Wall. The album is arguably all about rooting out the fascism of the ego, perhaps overcoming narcissism. Confronting this most massive of rock-star downfalls was, in the real-life making of the album, precisely what Roger was failing to do. Like any intoxicated megalomania-addict, he was blind to his destructive behavior, exactly like the character dubbed "Pink" on the album and in the fully realized Alan Parker film. Pink transforms into the neo-nazi-inspired tyrant, "Hammer."

Having spent his credibility with the band, he essentially achieved destruction of (that iteration of) Pink Floyd, just as Pink/Hammer achieves destruction of himself/ his life/ psyche/ marriage.

Any number of unconscious motivations or desires could have been at work:

To return to the careless, chaotic days of the late '60s.

To destroy the band that he felt "held him back," like the wife who's abandoned in the film.

To destroy the band as if he were some twisted angel of mercy.

There's an even darker parallel and hubris to note. WWII themes pervade The Wall, especially in the film. The fascism, battlefields (internal as well), and even factory/ death-camps. Waters sooner or later became aware that he broke up the band and made the excuse that its time had come, that it was a necessary sacrifice to complete the important work, to artistically fully render "his struggle." "Sacrifice" is bizarrely the translation of "holocaust." Sacrificing others, or sacrificing on others behalf (a mental gymnastic of rationalization), is a vile concept. Sacrificing others for a presumed "greater good" is explicitly the basis of nazism/fascism. Using the ends to justify the means was presumably what Waters was trying dismantle.

It is bewildering, forty-two years later, how accomplished The Wall was--and still is. It has a deep anti-fascism message on a deeply mental and psychological level. Yet his herculean efforts were intensely damaging. Pink Floyd did survive, but many believe they suffered too critical a loss to fully recover, and far less due to Waters' departure itself than to the destructive and traumatic nature of it.

Pink Floyd has seemed a bit timid ever since. A song here and there has stood out, but the raw power was long-gone for decades. And at this point, are they honestly the same band with only one remaining original member? Nick Mason is a terrifically talented drummer, however, so somewhat ironically, Nick Mason's Sucerful of Secrets (his offshoot) has, in four years, out-performed the last twenty-four years of Pink Floyd's own live output.

[mrsmorality]

so, the best books i’ve read in my whole life so far:

- captive prince [trilogy]: of course i have to debut the list with them (even if the order of the books doesn't match my order of preference). it was simply the first that came to my mind, so commendable and memorable is the story. if you haven't read it yet, do it NOW. the best enemies to lovers of all the time, with a development worthy of a round of applause and a strong and supportive relationship on both sides. yes, captive prince. you know you’ll always be on my mind!

- the song of achilles: yeah. i could never forget this one. is the most realistic love story i have ever laid my eyes on, full of obstacles and sacrifices. i really liked what the author did here, abandoning the historical narrative that achilles and patroclus were just friends or even relatives. she gave a whole new meaning to the story, never failing to keep the original line. there isn't ONE thing about this book that doesn't fill my eyes. the best childhood best friends to lovers, showing their relationship since they were just friends in childhood, to the blossoming of feelings that went beyond fraternal affection, and the way they handled it as they grew up. it's beautiful. i really love it

- all for the game [trilogy]: i mean. of course this story could never be missing from my favorites list. what i like the most about the story is what's hidden behind the relationship between the characters. their feelings aren't obvious and usual, and if you're looking for a light story, this isn't for you. it's all heavy: the way they relate to each other, the way they deal with their own problems, their pasts. they’re broken people trying to put the pieces together, trying to figure out what to do with the glue they were offered. even so, they still find room in their minds to care (in distorted, but still, care) for their friends, teammates, lovers, and family members; they still protect each other, like one big dysfunctional family. everything about this book is not in the narrated words, but in what lies behind them: what lies behind each moment, each pause and each action. it is obvious, but subliminal, almost hidden. i love it. really. the complexity behind each character, his shaken psyche -- it's all breathtaking, it's all about keeping the attention. it can be hard to get past the first few pages but, man, once you do it's impossible to stop. also enemies to lovers

- the raven boys [tetralogy]: ok so i don't have enough words to describe or synthesize all my feelings for this book. i love every part of it: from the first sentence, that introductory line, to the last, the laudable ending. the story is impeccable, as is the plot on which it is based. the development of a course of action as well as the characters' relationship and their own conceptions of themselves and the world are simply things that appeal to me. the characters are amazing, real and liveable, and the bond of friendship they share is enviable. their love relationships, even if they're not all the book talks about, are breathtaking and make your heart flutter and melt. the key to the story is also hidden behind the action of the characters, behind silent cares and concerns, but there, always present. i love adam and ronan. i love how their relationship developed (friends to lovers), the patience with which it was structured, building slowly, before your eyes, under your nose -- but you didn't see it until the characters' feelings became more obvious to themselves and to each other, and began to submerge and overflow through every paragraph, every line of thought. it's beautiful. it's absolutely beautiful.

- autoboyography: this is among the books that came to me at an opportune time, so i have a huge connection to this story. it wouldn't be here if it didn't deserve it, and it does; this story is about love, about accepting it, and about reconciling that love, such a vital part of you, with religion and ingrained prejudices. it's a story you versus the world, you versus what you thought you were, what you wanted to be. it's about accepting that about yourself, so that you can be true to yourself, to the people you love. in the process, people who say they love you back will not always support your discovery or encourage your self-acceptance. this book is also about how we have to accept ourselves, regardless of what others think about it, because their opinion, however important, should never be everything, or overshadow your own opinion, your own wishes and desires. love is in innate acceptance, or at least the quest for understanding. it is in the understanding that the person is what he is, and that should be applauded, rather than just tolerated or ignored. this should be encouraged and cause for joy. you should never stop being who you are because of other people’s opinion, as long as you feel comfortable showing it. this book is about self-discovery and tolerance, in a world that represses the first and fakes the second. strangers to friends to lovers.

- we are the ants: this book is not a novel, although there is the development of one in the backstory. this book is about dealing with mishaps, with veiled depression, with a lack of faith and hope not just in the world around you, but in yourself. self-doubt is the worst thing, the most discouraging thing. if you don't believe in yourself, don't think yourself worthy of happiness or good things, how will you appreciate the world and how will you accept such things when it offers it to you? this book is a great journey. reality is behind every moment and bad and hopeless thought represented in every paragraph, but the journey continues, day after day, through the feeling that there is more in the world than what you are experiencing, that things can be better tomorrow. in friendships and in love lies a little willpower that recharges you for another day, for another obstacle that can bring you down (and that's okay. we fall and get up day after day, and that's okay), but not even that and it all. you must believe in yourself to fully revitalize yourself, to keep your feet on the ground and stand firmly on your feet, no matter how hard the world tries to bring you down. this book is about choices and the lack of it. it is about pain and depression, which is not always obvious, which you are not always aware of. it's about everything and nothing. it's about getting up after successive falls, when all you wanted was to stay on the ground. it doesn't matter if your legs are shaky when you get up, or if, as soon as you get your balance back, the world hits you and knocks you down again. keep getting up. as long as you are alive, you can still choose and try to realize how you want to live, what you want to be. nothing is definitive. bad feelings don't last forever (not even the good ones). life is cyclical, but with good company, a few glances at the bluish or gray sky, feelings that rise in your chest, discovering things you've never experienced, the wind in your hair -- things you never cared or paid attention to, minimal things, but that keeps you -- it's worth every takedown. strangers to friends to lovers

[duckycharge]

DEATH NOTE MAJOR ARCANA

[1] [2] [3] [4]

meanings under cut!

XVIII. THE MOON

LIGHT YAGAMI AFTER DISCOVERING THE NOTE

The Moon is often considered the card of dreams, but more generally it is a card that indicates subconscious fears, worries and anxieties coming to the surface. This card embodies the Jungian shadow self—your repressed shortcomings, your irrational worries. Like what Freud called the id, the shadow self is illogical emotion, inferiorities and weaknesses in one’s own sense of self. Accordingly, the card usually depicts wolves howling at the moon.

The appearance of the Moon indicates a period of restlessness or unease which will be followed by comfort and stability—there’s no night that lasts forever. There are many different interpretations of the Moon inverted—some believe it indicates that the anxiety of the upright Moon will quickly pass, while others write that it foreshadows a period of severe anarchy and turmoil.

XIX. THE SUN

MISA AMANE’S BROADCAST

The Sun and Moon are complementary cards. Where the Moon is all about repressed anxieties and overthinking, the Sun is excitement and positivity. The Rider-Waite Sun depicts a naked child riding a white horse: the child is shameless, exuberant life, and the horse is the strength which allows them to get where they need to go. 

Inverted, the Sun may indicate that the reader is being too manic, too hyped up on joie de vivre to consider the negative consequences of their actions or the serious circumstances they find themselves in. It may also indicate that the reader will soon break free of a negative or dour situation and so much freedom will leave them feeling lost and without a purpose.

XX. JUDGEMENT

RYUK KILLING LIGHT

Judgement traditionally depicts the Biblical end of times—mankind being collected to be judged before God. This card commands the reader to evaluate themselves: reflect upon what you have done up until now, understand where you’ve gone wrong, and know what you need to do going forward. Judgement is a “crossroads”, a point at which you must make a fundamental decision about how to live your life. 

When Judgement appears inverted, it warns of too much self-criticism: you are judging yourself too harshly and setting unattainable standards. The inverted Judgement tells the reader that it’s okay to be kinder to yourself.

XXI. THE WORLD

KIRA WORSHIPPER

If the Fool is the beginning of the narrative of the major arcana, the World is its conclusion: complete, fulfilled and resplendent, content and fully realized. The World is the happy ending, the destination of your journey. Some tarot analysts also see the World as an inversion of the Hanged Man.

Inverted, the World indicates that there is a price to be paid for opportunities, but that the sacrifice makes the reward even richer.

[teamfreewill2pointo]

Transcript of End of the Road Special

Transcript of End of the Road Special. 

Please let me know if I made any errors in transcription. Twitter version Family Don’t End with Blood Transcription Winchester Mythology Transcription

Dabb: Ultimately, we came up with something that we're all very proud of Singer: You never know what the audience is going to like so we really tried to say "what would make us happy? Would we be satisfied with where we've taken them?"

The Carry On song was a guideline.

Singer: The myth of what these brothers were throughout 15 years... We didn't shy away from fatalism, but we wanted to be able to have it be kinda uplifting as well.

Dabb: If you're going to do something that feels like a complete arc, you have to kinda go back to the beginning of it (clips of them hunting vamps from s1 & 15.20) When it comes to Sam & Dean- it's all about getting back to, in some ways, these two guys on the road in this car.

Dabb: They've been doing this job for 15 years now. They've fought everyone from demons to vampires to God himself, but at the end of the day, they're still working guys, out there on the road & taking cases. We've tried to never lose sight of that.

Dabb: There are times when we've been wrapped up in our own mythology a little bit. We've always tried to get back to the basics, which are: these two guys, saving people, hunting things. 

Eugenie: I think we sort of knew generally what the ending would involve.

Eugenie: We might not have known the mechanics, but we sort of knew there would be a victorious, glorious sacrificial ending bc I think sacrifice is a big theme in the series.

For every great thing you do, a cost must be paid.

Singer: Andrew & I talked about it. We were in agreement pretty quickly... talked to the rest of the writing staff & let them know what we wanted to do and we were open to suggestions. And then we pretty much pitched it to Jared and Jensen.

Jensen talks about flying to LA. Jensen: So before we ever even started 15, we knew how the last portion of the story was going to go. We didn't know how we were going to get there, but we kinda knew the final- the finish line- we knew what... what that was going to look like.

Jared: I don't think there's ever been a season of SPN in 15 years where the way the writers thought the show would play out for that season- ended up being the way it played out And so we were aware of that. They told us here's what we're thinking, here's what happens to Castiel

Jared: In the finale, Dean dies & Sam lives on. And then we think they're going to meet up in heaven. 

I remember Jensen... just because I know him so well- he seemed to bristle a little bit.

Jensen: It was hard to hear then & it was hard to read now. Not because I didn't like it, not because I wished it had gone differently... I'm not adverse to it. I think it's a great ending. I'm proud to film it.

Singer: And we just aimed for that, you know, throughout the season. We knew where we were going.

Jensen: Reading it & knowing that... there's just a weight that is so much larger reading these scripts than I've ever experienced before. 

There's an emotional weight that these scripts are going to carry & these episodes are going to have that I don't think we've ever seen before.

Brad: [J2] were so young when all of this started. They brought to it such conviction & such commitment to the effort. 

That's one of the things that kept the show going for so many years... a show that was designed for very young guys, footloose & fancy free, & on the road…

Brad: To see these guys grow up b4 your eyes into- men, not boys any longer- was amazing. 

BABY Jared: Though the story does involve Sam & Dean chasing supernatural things, it really is a story about two brothers that love each other & ultimately will do anything for each other.

Jensen: There's really one person that gets it on the level that I get it, and that's Jared. Jared: I've never spent as much time with another human being as I have with Jensen Ackles. He will be my friend and brother forever. And I know that.

BABY Jensen: There's a lot of dynamics between the two brothers, there's a lot of history between them, there's a lot of banter between them... it's good stuff S15 Jensen: We had a partner in crime & we leaned on each other for, you know, for times when it was tough.

Jensen: But we also won together. We got to share the experience of success & the experience of getting picked up for another season. Watching these two characters go through what they're going through, when we're working 14 hours & it's 2-3 o’clock on a Sat morning and we're just now finishing filming out in the rain and mud and we gotta race to the airport to get on a plane because we've got a photoshoot in LA & we've gotta do on camera interviews and we gotta promote the show that we love so much that we were just in the mud & the rain filming hours before we're exhausted and it's like there's only one person that gets that right now. That gets how I feel and that's this guy standing next to me. That's pretty cool. That's pretty cool to have somebody like that.

Brad: We knew it was going to be impossible to tie up every aspect of all of the cans of worms that we opened up. 

We did want to bring a proper ending to the guys, the guy's relationship.

Brad: Then of course we had this huge corner we painted ourselves into with the most powerful thing in the universe being the big bad of the season. We try and find a proper send off for Jack & for Cas. What to do w/ the boys & is that a together farewell or an individual?

It was just... lots of moving parts. 

Dabb: I give a lot of credit to Bobo who really was the one who started banging the drum early & often to ending the mythology in 19 and end the characters in 20.

Brad: You're battling God & battling God & you have this epic situation going on through the first 3/4 of the show & then what? You send off Dean in act 4? That just felt wrong. Eugenie: We had this obligation, it was really mandatory, that we tie up the mythic narrative and leave the final episode for the emotional resolution. I [was] more on the side of not wanting to best God. To have God change to be more like his creations. So there were philosophical arguments, but we always knew God's resolution was going to be a big ticket item.

Jensen: We'd started day 1 of the 2nd to last episode, 19. We were 1 day down on that episode & we were just about to start our 2nd day & we got the call that morning that we were not going to be coming in that day.

Jensen: So we figured ok, we'll figure out protocol, figure out what we need to do, & we'll just regroup, come back on Monday. As that day progressed, it was like- this looks like more of an apocalypse that is ascending upon us than just a bad cold.

They pulled the plug & they said everybody go home. 

Singer: Fortunately, we got assurance from both the studio & the network that one way or another we were gonna finish the series. That was comforting to us, but we didn't know when we were going to go back.

Eugenie: We didn't know what we were going back to... if this was the last time we would ever see the set. There was no plan. It was just get out of dodge. Dabb: When it first happened, we thought it would be a couple of weeks, maybe a month.

I had conversations w/WB where they expected everyone to be back shooting in June & then things got worse & pushed & pushed.

Eugenie: Slowly as we settled into that 4 or 5 month period, discussions were going on w/the studio, & the networks, & the actors. We knew there would be restrictions on what we were allowed to shoot, but finally, the mechanics were figured out. 

Singer: So they were ready to go pretty quickly, shooting in Van, where covid wasn't quite as virulent as it was [in LA].

Dabb: We were one of the first shows, one of the first WB shows to start back up. So in a way, we were kinda a guinea pig. But, in being that, I think everyone took it really seriously. We had 0 positive tests. Crew members weren't going out on the weekends.

They were like look, if I get sick, it hurts the whole show. That speaks to the family culture up there, where we've had so much of our crew for so long. Where J2 & Singer provide such great leadership.

Singer: When I was in prep for 20, I was basically in the office but couldn't go to the set. It was very odd for me not to be able to go to the set while I was in prep. 

Everybody just hung in there & did what they were supposed to do.

Brad: Then we were faced with the dilemma of having to rewrite a lot of the stuff bc of the pandemic bc of the limitations that we knew were going to come on the production.

Jensen: We were gearing up for, not only the end of that season, but the end of the series. There was a lot of big, big things written-packed- into those last two scripts.

Jared: At first, it was supposed to be a lot of our old cast from prior seasons in a Roadhouse with Kansas.

Everybody had already agreed. Kansas was going to be in Van. We were going to have dad there & mom there. Just probably 20 or 30 different actors & actresses who had been a part of the SPN's canon over the last 15 & a half years.

Jensen: It was scheduled to be the last day that we were going to film, so it was almost like rolling right into a nice wrap party on camera. 

Brad: The idea of flying a boatload of ppl up there to quarantine for 2 weeks so they could shoot for a day was making less & less sense.

Eugenie: How do we make this work? And while you're doing that, you also don't want to sacrifice the heart and soul of the project. 

So we came up with a reduced, much more intimate ending. It has been replaced by something equally magical & rewarding.

Singer: I felt an enormous responsibility in directing the finale of a show that's been on for 15 years. Andrew, when he saw the cut, he said some really nice things to me as to, you know, the way I handled the material.

Jensen: The scenes that were filmed on our last day on the sound stages were filled with the most emotion of the final episode. 

Singer: One of the really hard things was we're on another stage that wasn't the MoL stage & they started wrecking the MoL sets

They'd been working on this set and been apart of this- this family for just as long if not longer than the set's been around. I was like "it's really sad seeing this get taken down" and the other guy said, "I'm trying to hold back tears while I'm swinging this hammer."

Jared: As we start saying goodbye to characters, to locations, like it just seems like every day you would wake up and there would be some reason to cry. 

Misha: This is a show ultimately about love, & empathy, & caring, & I think that Castiel embodies that.

Misha: Half the crew was crying. It was really such a sweet, supporting environment to be in for the demise of a character that, of course, for me is really important. 

But it was so lovely to see that, you know, the folks that I'm- I'm working with were also there for Cas at that moment. 

Alex: To get to work with these caliber people & see your friends every day is really special & is not something that often happens in this business for this long. It's been definitely a topsy turvy last couple weeks here with us and the crew. 

Jared: Friday of the final full week was the big scene in the barn with the vampires where Dean suffers his fate. They did the first two days with the entire stunt team & the young boy actors. 

And then they cut it for Thursday night and they're like, okay, Friday, tomorrow, we’re starting the dialogue. Dean, you're on the post. Sam, you just cut off the last vampire's head.

That was the scene- that was where Supernatural was really encapsulated. 

Jensen: And then the next week we kind of had this- on the road encore get together filmmaking scenario that felt more like we made it & it was more pats on the back as opposed to tearful goodbyes. 

Dabb: In a weird way you can look at the 15 seasons is like Sam & Dean's emotional evolution. You know instead of therapy, they kill vampires, but other than that it's kind of the same & brings them both to a very good place. And a place where they can, as the song says, you know, lay their weary head to rest. 

This felt like the most honest & emotionally fulfilling episode for these characters to us. Jared: I got thinking about how Supernatural started & how the majority of times how I thought it should end. It started with Sam & Dean Winchester. I think it's proper that it ended with Sam & Dean Winchester together again. 

Jensen: When the cameras stop rolling & Bob yelled, “Cut!” and Bob yelled, “That’s a series wrap on Supernatural.” There was- a there was a loud cheer that echoed through that canyon we were filming in. I will- I will happily say that there were hugs that happened and that needed to happen. Those are people that I spent not just years with, but so much time with- it's like brothers in arms and so to put it to bed the way that we did felt really good and then felt good to hug some people, I'll tell you that much. Singer: I thanked everyone, but I wanted to really thank people who had been with us from the beginning and as I looked around, there were so many people who had been there from the beginning.

We really were a family. I always say about this show is one of the reasons that it was a success and is that it was not only about the Winchester family, but it was about the Supernatural family. 

Jared: So now that's all said and done, I guess I can look back at it and just be proud that I helped this show carry on and I'm really proud of the blood, sweat, and tears that I put in, and I feel like- I feel like that sacrifice was also maybe one of the things I learned from Sam, you know? Sam had to sacrifice a lot. So, I'm honored and flattered and grateful that I got to be a part of that journey.

Dabb: You're never going to have another show like this. You're never gonna have another experience like this. For a lot of different reasons, from how long it ran, from the family that the show became, from the amazing fans that we have. [Footage of us] From the emotional investment people can put in over 15 years of their lives. 

Some started watching this when they were in high school, when they were 15, they're 30 now, they might have kids. That's their- that's like half their life. They've been with this show. You're not gonna have that again. Shows just aren’t gonna run this long, especially genre shows, but I don't know that I'm ever gonna do anything else in my career that I'm gonna be more proud of than having been involved in this show. 

Jared: The things that stick out are just how important it is to keep putting one foot in front of the other. And keep on working and wake up every day and treat it like it could be your last and- and if you make it out the other side, you'll be happy and proud of what you did. 

Jensen: The crew had packed up, they had cleared the bridge, and they were all starting to, you know, load their trucks and get moving. And Jared and I just kind of hung back, and we just took a moment. I looked at him and I said, “I’m proud of us, man. I'm proud of what we've done.”

We know that that's the collective we, that is everyone that is involved, that is- you know from the top down. You know, for our portion, for what we contributed to this monster of the show, he and I reflected on that, and still able to see and smell the roses.

[themoonlily]

I deliberated whether or not to write anything about this, but seems I can't keep silent, so here goes...

There was a post about Éowyn and the culpability of her male relatives in her situation in ROTK, and I must admit it did not sit well with me. I'm all for Éowyn and recognising how miserable she was or how it drove her to seek death on the battlefield, but I don't tolerate the idea that her family are somehow to be blamed for it, nor what it ultimately implies: that mental illness is and must always be Someone's Fault, that you are to be blamed if you don't recognise it for what it is, or that you should naturally know how to deal with it.

Could they have done more to support her? Probably. Did they fail in recognising how depressed and self-destructive she had become? Very much so. Is it somehow because of them? I don't think it's that simple because families rarely are (especially families in a position of power).

You could go all the way back to the death of Éomund and Théodwyn, and how it would have impacted their orphaned children, how they perceived duty to the family while being in the position that they were in: the responsibility of watching over their people. Éomund and Théodwyn's deaths are namely why I can't believe Éomer would not care about his sister or do anything he can for her, if he knew she was in trouble. It's plausible that Éomer didn't even live at Edoras but rather held his seat in Aldburg, which was their birth home and previously the seat of Éomund the First Marshal. He wouldn't have watched his sister daily, and it's very likely Éomer was exceedingly busy with his duties, especially when the situation in the land worsened. Considering we don't see his private interactions with Éowyn, it's impossible to say what she did or didn't tell him, if she was showing signs of where she was headed, or if she was hiding the true extent of her despair from him in order to spare him (which people often do when they think their loved ones have more important things to worry about!). Suicidal people don't necessarily express warning signs that even their family would know to read. To judge Éomer as a careless sibling who never paid attention based just on the scene in the Houses of Healing (when she had already walked over the brink) isn't necessarily fair.

Rohirrim are a warlike culture, which would beg to imply that they valued strength and courage. It's not an environment where a person in a position of power, especially when that position is becoming increasingly challenging and demands more and more sacrifice, can manage well if they're already suffering from personal issues. It's also not an environment where you can easily show that you are suffering. Does family always know what's going on or that one of them is having mental problems? Absolutely not. Even in real life, people conceal their troubles from parents and siblings because they don't want loved ones to worry, and if they are already constantly preoccupied (by trying to lead and defend a falling nation, for example), they are even more likely not to realise what's going on. That individuals of superior experience (like long life or supernatural origin and heightened perception, i. e. Aragorn and Gandalf) notice Éowyn's state right away doesn't necessarily mean that her family don't care or that they are somehow at fault for not realising what was going on sooner. Not to mention, at that point, she had declared her situation plainly so it's not a very fair comparison.  

But there's more. What about Théoden and his depression (which I think is at least implied and more than plausible, considering his comment upon coming out of Meduseld: "It's not so dark here")? What about him actually being an old man, fearing he's falling into dotage while there's an exponentially challenging threat to his land, losing himself to despair, and questioning whether he's a failure in the eyes of his forefathers and his own culture, which places great significance in honour and individual's prowess in battle? What about the grief of losing his only child and heir in a very critical hour partly due to his own actions (or rather, his inaction)? And what about the fact he's actively being manipulated and goaded by Wormtongue into yet worse decisions while he is in this frame of mind? Didn't Théoden ride to meet his end as much as Éowyn did? Why does this old struggling man have to put his 'big girl pants' on more than anyone else and why doesn't anything about his situation call for empathy? But then, comparing mental illnesses and arguing whose condition matters the most is absurd.

(I wouldn't say no magical fuckery was involved in Théoden's behaviour as the crisis escalated - at least in the appendix it's said frankly that he was under Saruman's spells and was healed by Gandalf. The actual scene in the books isn't that straightforward, of course, although there are mentions of Wormtongue using some kind of 'leechcraft' to subdue Théoden, that he wasn’t ‘breathing free air’, and Théoden himself praising Gandalf's skill at healing. But certainly Wormtongue was ‘poisoning’ both Théoden and Éowyn’s thoughts, and that can’t have been helpful with their mental states.)

There was a very good post about how Théoden and Denethor in particular have similar narratives and arcs, and how each is teetering on a fine line between estel (hope) and despair - how one redeems himself and the other is ruined. Their family reflect this struggle in other ways, Boromir dying because his despair drove him to desire the Ring, but redeeming himself at the last moment, and Éowyn almost dying because of her despair but finding again hope in life and the prospect of healing. And that's very much the point here, not Whose Fault Is It: the stories of Théoden, Éowyn and Éomer (and of Denethor, Boromir and Faramir) are about Hope versus Despair, which ties in with the greater themes of LOTR. At least that is my takeaway here because mental illness isn’t anyone’s fault and I very much doubt that was ever Tolkien’s message. 

[sometimesrosy]

there are theories in twitter about clarke going back to earth and bellamy staying in another planet or stuck in the anomaly, that they will have a bittersweet ending like william and elisabeth in POC, i wanted fringe or 12 monkeys, hunger games kind of ending for them, but if is like that as long both are alive and loving each other i'm fine. I want a soft epilogue for them not separated again and seeing each other every x period of time clarke with madi and their child, i'm not ok.

I just had a conversation with someone about this.

I think it’s possible. I don’t think it is my most likely outcome, but I think it’s possible. 

I think we HAD that ending in season 4. It’s a trope in epic romances. The sun and the moon, lovers destined never to be together.

If it happens, I think Clarke would be pregnant with his child and give birth without him, because this story requires them to be *together* in some way or the other, and this would be the culmination of that togetherness AND it would add to both the tragedy and the sweetness. 

I don’t like it either, but I could see it being satisfying. 

This is a matter of choice. Will JR give our heroes a happy ending with hope for themselves as well as the universe, even if bittersweet? Or will JR give the world and humanity the bittersweet hope for happiness, and deny it to Clarke and Bellamy who have sacrificed and bled so much for humanity’s rebirth?

THAT is what’s up in the air and has ALWAYS been up in the air.

He told us he hadn’t decided which way to go many years ago, and I’m sure those choices are still present. I like to think that he’s taking in the state of the world and our need for some hope and happy endings, even if bittersweet, and paid attention to the outcry of GOT and how it destroyed the main canon relationships and characters, and won’t repeat that. 

I have maintained that 1. There is no The 100 without Clarke and Bellamy. 2. Bellarke is the backbone of the story. 3. For victory in the end, Bellarke MUST be together and at this point in the narrative, they must be romantic endgame. 4. The chess metaphor says Clarke is the most powerful, but Bellamy is the most important and without him the game is lost. And for Clarke, I think that is emotionally true, which is why s4 ending was so sad, she sacrificed her life for spacekru but the tragedy is that she sacrificed her love for HIM and had to live without him for 6 years.

Hmm. Wait.

Let me think on that.

We’re getting character and narrative development, so that when we get to a parallel and the story replays itself, they have overcome their flaws and learned form their mistakes and are able to do better, like Clarke stopping the MW betrayal tragedy from replaying when she abandoned him. Or how they managed to save most of the sanctumites when they “blew up” the primes. 

But if we get a Bellarke separation like THIS, it will be a replay of the season 4 ending. 

But neither of them failed that challenge. They both did what they had to and learned what they had to, and successfully survived, saved others, and got ready for the next challenge. They healed and grew and made peace with themselves, and forgave others and learned to love and internalized their opposite in the head vs heart.

So. What would be the development in that scenario if they were to do it AGAIN?

I don’t think there’s anything to fix. There’s no improvement. And if they actually ACHIEVE canon romance before they are separated and Clarke has HIS baby instead of adopting one like s4, then what’s the development? 

How is them learning how to live without their soulmate growth, when they’d already learned how to do that? 

Hmm.

I think more likely, still, is we THINK they’ll sacrifice being together like when Clarke stayed behind and Bellamy closed the shuttle doors, but in the end they won’t be able to let the other go and so it will be a “if you’re on that list, I’m on that list” moment, and instead of letting the other sacrifice themselves and doom them to being without them, they’ll both dive over that cliff together. *TOGETHER* being our refrain. 

I think they’ll die together. Bitter.

But save humanity and their friends. Sweet.

But I think they’ll end up going through the anomaly, together still, and rather than dying, end up being TOGETHER and getting to live their lives out, with love and a family, but without their friends. And THIS will give us a replay of s4, but this time it will turn out like MARPER’S ending in season 5. A bittersweet happy ending for the couple who parallels them and told them to follow their footsteps and live a good life. 

Nope. I’m gonna stick with MY bittersweet ending instead of the replay of season 4s bittersweet ending. Which wasn’t bittersweet for bellarke. It was just bitter. It was bittersweet for spacekru and madi, but clarke and bellamy were nearly broken.

IF it happens that way, it will be the tragic epic love story instead of the bittersweet happy ending epic love story. It could be a good story, but since they did it once, I don’t see it being repeated again.

ALTHOUGH they could make us THINK they are repeating it and in the last minute, realizing they can’t do it, thus sacrificing themselves together. 

THAT would be the growth and development and lessons learned. Changing season s4′s bellarke ending into s5′s marper ending.

[thaniaflorendo]

What’s more chilling than nipping frost for Benguet Farmers?

“There is nothing more chilling than being told that prices were too low, like what happened last year wherein cabbages were sold at P3.00 per kilo.”

They say we need professionals for a certain moment of our lives to guide us from learning, but we need farmers three times a day and for the rest of our lives to not starve to death. Indeed, farmers generate food from buying retail products for farming and ending up selling their harvested crops at a wholesale price. They don’t earn much money, but they earn respect from our fellow Filipinos for being our daily heroes.

Grieving due to the status quo, farmers have no choice but to continue tilling their soils and fertilizing it with sweat and blood. They gamble even when it’s a losing game— only a quarter of their mile efforts are paid back.

The agricultural story of Benguet is unlike the reoccurring agrarian unrest in the country; land distribution was a rare issue in the mountainous regions of the Cordillera. In this pandemic, Benguet, also known as the Salad Bowl of the Philippines, has taken a severe toll, with tons of vegetables being thrown away due to weak sales in La Trinidad Vegetable Trading Post and Benguet Agri-Pinoy Trading Center. Furthermore, travel restrictions were too tight, and processing of papers was too expensive so trading stopped in the meantime. As a result, vegetables rotted and cannot be sold in the market.

Vegetables coming from other parts of Benguet, Tinoc, Ifugao, Bauko, Mountain Province and other parts of Cordillera produces at least 1.1 million metric tons and can triple depending when the demand surges, actually supplies 80% of vegetables in the whole country. The tight situation resulted to falling market prices that have bankrupted our farmers.

As I personally visited the farms in La Trinidad, Benguet, I met Nanay who asked me why I took photos of her when in fact she’s “just an old Igorot lady.” I explained that I wanted to feature their struggles amidst the pandemic, and I saw how a ghost of a smile formed in her lips, but in a few seconds, it shifted to disappointment.

According to her, as early as 5:30 am, despite the chilling weather and her age, she is motivated to visit her crops to see what kind of tending they need. She shared that there is nothing more chilling than being told that prices were too low, like what happened last year wherein cabbages were sold at P3.00 per kilo. They were sent back home with their harvests— rotting and spoiling. They were totally bankrupt at that time.

Farmers lamented as they faced their nightmare brought by the pandemic. Prices of highland vegetables eventually went up on the market because of the hesitancy of the truckers to transport the vegetables in the depots called bagsakan in NCR.

Due to the vegetable spoilage, tons of food were wasted. Some farmers has donated their harvest as the poor gets hungry. Local government units has also decided to purchase their stocks instead. In Baguio, vegetables are included in the relief goods given by the government for the people. Aside from helping the farmers, it is also beneficial for one’s health because it can help everyone strengthen their immune system.

Few kilometers from trading centers, prices at the Baguio market were a bit higher, but the plan of rehabilitation for the Baguio Public Market by the private sector threatens even the small-time vendors. Vendors oppose this movement and they are united in conducting peaceful rallies by playing their gongs and taking out their placards every 10 am and 3 pm every day.

The local government pushing for this kind of action does not favor the general public’s welfare. As old as tales, the poor will always be in the outskirts, and these actions from the LGU means stripping the rights of vendors in earning decently. Consequently, consumers will also be burdened on the prices as it will surely hike up. Farmers, vendors, and consumers will take a huge blow from these selfish actions while in the midst of this pandemic.

With the countless travels from Baguio to La Trinidad, exposed under the scorching heat while exploring the vast landfarm, I’ve observed and heard that farmers encountered common problems like lack of capital, labor problems, and expensive trucking services. I’ve heard painful narratives, and seen that the agriculture sector, who carries the burden of ensuring food on our table, remains among the poorest in our society. They may be considered as the backbone of the society, but to live as a farmer is to live with dirt, uncertainty, and sacrifices.

With their optimistic identity, hardworking personality, and resiliency, it pains me to see that people usually look down on them because of the dirt on their hands or the mud on their feet. Worst is the fact that they belittle themselves because they are “just a farmer”— like how Nanay called herself “old” and “Igorot” as if it is a bad thing.

That kind of mindset is a symptom of a problem that was instilled by the government to its own people. Unheard cries and pleas for support from the agricultural sector for decades is a manifestation that they have been ignored by the government.

Without their hands and feet, caked with dirt, mud, and soil, we won’t survive on a day-to-day basis. Their footsteps will always leave a legacy for their heroic act that saves us from hunger. But this should not be one-sided, we must show proper appreciation by encouraging the government to prioritize their needs above anything else.

[rwmhunt]

Leviticus, Chapter 22

1. Lo, for That I cannot prosecute my thoughts; I needst here cultivate caution- Then put a hold unto my options, That I cannot challenge him. Any source of information, That be of an admixture truth, And of an admixture untruth, is of a danger, Did you know that? Humbly needst I move toward diamonds and gold's Otherwise-useless demarkation on worth; My face must stay its specter in clay, For it is my career; That I can say: It is mine.

2. Thus, to Aaron, gold and diamonds Bringeth ignominy and unwarranted power; Strewth, they are only much use for The rings of your finger; So let alone the past, Which you mark As a messed up place, How then, is this the valid Strategy for the future? Lo, let us divide and game.

3. Increase the paywall; Holy things are ringing in changes; You are the visitor here- I'd like to take the time To consciously consider you so, for We have reached besmircher's cutoff. It's me, mark it; and Either I am a negative nebulae Of unimaginable everything, And you are a little golden bull, Or you are a negative nebulae Of unimaginable everything, And I am a little golden bull;

4. But know that I shall not give you the word For the thought-track down which You might draw the line Of asymetry, such, That you wouldst know How to rend a perfect opposition To go between. And whosoever soweth dead seeds Among young female researchers Hath faileth the épreuve- It shalln’t do for thy running issue, Moreover, those women who are of Quite senior position and are doing it Unto the coercive nature of such a power's New destruction of ability to focus, As unto the camp's commander, With how Peleg begat Reu; Well, it might be enough to get you pregnant, But wait, where am I going with this?

5. Worm touchers, Creepy pressers, Come, come, observers, Keep from that strange creature; Don't be giving unto me None of thy screaming abdabs; I think on you, Pig dressed as a clown, Eructing unto, then drawing forth A near-entire white, plastic fork; And know you not how this came to me- Lo, it came up with a sequence of items that appeared Not unlike balls of meat, Furred, wistfully, in a grey cowl of reactionary mucus; A kind of veil, a barrier, in effect, Penetratable, at any point, But equally real as a barrier, Gainst our otherwise passive environs, Such as be the diffusion of inert thoughts, or spores, murky, and maintaining of a human resource, I liked to thrill it- The direct and immediate livid relationship Between a font of funding and a media event, O, harmless dalliance of the stationary cupboard- You are knowingly walking, As against your will, A wrong into the carpet, Within the tent of meaning.

6. Looking up to see God's face in the moon, Or whatever it was That can't be drawn, And I won't be drawn; His hands he filled with moisture and His own was sent for ablution Into the improvised basin. So denieth all such allegation Through the washing of thy soule, Clean off; so sloughed away, Away with the diminishing liquid.

7. Sundown with the unseen Woman's leverage on the situation- if you should find a way to redress balance, So she gaineth a bit more power in some manner, Then so what? it was no loss. A new deal, And the bill shall embolden survivors.

8. Positions of power shall have of a hard time In recognizing the coercive nature of that power Within an unbridled relationship; Things that die 'Of themselves', Or are yet rent by nature's horn, Are defiled; while I, a malign influence, lie with my soul distracted; Oh lord, but I've been swallowed by narrative, And tried to keep it communal, Inside and outside; As you are.

9. Pit stop- The horror is the fact; The horror it unfolds Through legions of would-bes Without a meter, like me, Who have applied, Will apply, in perpetuity; Just do it, Or die; if then, As I am still.

10. The individual is always Hedging toward A private business model. Attention-seeking shalln't be of sin, no! Tis sensible, keep with a forward optioning- That's why i tell you, Soujerners and servents, Who art sent to the concession to collect me my messages- My tutu is a Fendi, And my codpiece is a Bosch. We live unto a roaring attention economy. But you're not up to it. I've given them a tomato one, And also I gave them a spaghetti- We struggle to attune to where I'm compelled- Ourselves, as groups, who feel of themselves As blunted against their lack in deserved attention, Because it is a powerful, a dangerous feeling.

11. So eat souls As paid for with a priest's money, On escrow, attention Has always been currency Though rendered unimaginable Since the falling-away of the gold-standard, As was borne unto the tent of meaning, Where every page has a piece carved out, To house an advert's grab For égards; No space is secure, For security hath put an advert thither.

12. Jade lock, To knock the donald offline, So unto a stranger, Gone off to scavenge, The framers that frame themselves As refuges for free-expression Shall be rent at the fringes, forcing A redirection, away from my personal kingdom.

13. But should she go prodigal, Whosoever you are, Howeverso you might express thyself, You may now have a crack at a global audience, With incentives and disproportionate benefits Offered unto the most shameless, The demand of each to pay what scarce attention Might be rendered unto others, To get some fraction of this nominally limited resource, As unto yourself alone. Such are these poor weapons, An oversharing, That, essayed to the personal, Stretcheth my nancy stories To breaking.

O Marigold, I was bad At that, in the territories of fandom, As forced to return Unto the track over and again- Such was my leaky comprehension; Only apparent to me in the afterward, And now, I cannot say I am better.

14. Whence, Enroute from the concession Shouldst be eaten of the item Without, thence, So anguished in the relish, Thou giveth a fifth Of the holy thing; So that the leg shall grow A starfish, whole . Then let us bend our dark tubers towards, And look the knot, as in at an eye-

15. What's gold and glitter, But to mock a toom, And maketh of myself A symbolic same, Wrought as an aesthetic echt; Where diplomacy is weak, The aesthetic be yet The sole portal unto The conveyance of meaning; Verily, here, that I keep within The aesthetic of thought Whereby action is always y, You are i, and The antagonist be markated x; Where holy might only Fall down to one's discretion, You should've known That I wouldst be so solid.

16. Or suffer them to bear the enquiry of trespass, Felt as an information glut, Whilst eating of their holy orders, Found relishing within the anguish, And those who want it, Want it as much as they can get it, And  there is more access than can be vaunted, For, in an attention economy, one is never not on. Yes, me. O the guilt.

17. Attention is akin to the spirit; That it be vital but conventionally invisible, And thus, think not very much upon it, But unto whom, being unable to share A simple encounter with it, Wouldst soon become an artifice of torture.

18. Tell Aaron et al ensundry, To take up of stock with sarcastic markets, Sarcastic markets and I, impunity; The sacrifice of your own will I hand you freely; or no; T'was never yours to oblate, But sacrifice thy quasi-will, As will thee, Which is mine, against The short hedge, Thus maketh me of a currency exchange.

19. And an haut stud dost thou, unto me, weasels? By your whimsically free-will sacrificing? How charmingly lame. I sense Actors at play, in a very long game Of grooming the disaffected- Call me my boys in- then Send a lie to the long deceiver, To use the ruse, in turn, like poison, For to wish you that which upon may be Enabling unto the benefit of thine enemy.

20. It's no hambone, No hobbling billy- If he tells or interferes I'll fill the well in; its Prophets in stocks and neck-irons time, Else tolerate such increasingly radical agendas Of such gleefully uninhibited platforms as Where followers might laugh At biblical memes and opine such as- 'I'd rather do drama than a play, where, You can't say, really, What you want to say.' Go long, my cowhands, go long.

21. And peace is a sacrifice Of the streaming platform, while Attention has always been currency, Same. Our abilities to pay heed are limited; Not so our abilities to theoretically receive of it; No need to adequately substantiate If you can bamboozle With all the time in the world, Ka-pow-ka, ching-ching, da-da, Badoo-daboo-baday; Trust-modesty, yay, verily. Humility is hard to sustain In an attention economy. I only see me accelerating.

22. Blind, broken, maimed; Cankered, scurvied, wan with the wen, Thus, by my lights, The fault shall be displaced, Be it cleaned or weeping, Tis a no-no, get me another. Such was The schism that fractured the donald, Sent out to extend a tortured metaphor, Became too much of a liability To be held in high office- But if the stranger doesn't come, After all the things I’ve done for him,

23. Well, it's alright for a free-will offering Which you feel compelled to go along with, But it's not good enough for a vow offering As be brought unto online-influencer culture, And it might be enough to get you pregnant But it shan't be enough to stir my interest- I require an extreme case of humility, Whereby a person giveth his all to a presence so completely selfish As to serveth no other purpose. It's me.

24. But the reality is far less complicated than Moses, Hiding his damage behind a veil of linked-up back-channels, Recoiling at what his fellow hardcore moderators attempt to oblate; Too engrossed within the tents to consider anything outwith While hoping the whole doesn’t spin out of control.

25. Corruption is in them, strangers, Bethinks, flooding an affiliated image board So thoroughly that it becometh abomination. Here increaseth the shamelessness of wanton Allegation,  terror co-option of a social platform, which struck with the rise of a reality magik-vision, Alike as came unto a mid-80s index of abundance, Shewn running away whilst attempting to make focus On the ever-deterioratingly indistinct Object of the distancing, that It’s only when, at stopping to think about it, That the understand can be ascertained as to quite how rife it is.

26. Here, he left a passing message for Those who might collectively commandeer: Abide by life; that, if, then, I wouldn't be here.

27. Debates about amplification And attention-hijacking form a Siege mentality Of the corrupted Federal Apparatus- For seven days beneath the dam, As then a fire spiralled further Toward a more outlandish means Of unconstitutional civic theatre,

28. Whereby a calfling must be made to last The night and know it's mother As having died before slaughter; So the community Moved in after it went dark, Enjoining, then modulating, then killing off, And now Your complexes are all cooked in, Deeply infringing upon the weirds of others.

29. So must you make sacrifice To your very free will, As to common patriotic causes, Or else be sieged Within the corrupt Federal Apparatus.

30. The fundamental thing is: You cant escape my attention economy; Eat everything now, For nothing shall be saved, And this same day shall be Until tomorrow; when again, it's me.

31. Lo, and you must; it's me, remember? But by now all this blood and all this law Was affecting them, as had long been within their dream, Where they have their own rules, quirks and cultures, Which they ignore at your peril; Where environments play out upon a knife-edge, And attention might simply be a lens Through which to read the events of the moment While running away.

32. Herein, power shall not be trusted To recognize affiliated abuses of power; Yet, check, however, before Redirecting such missives from my personal kingdom, For lo, there shall be nonesuch insubordination, As might mitigate against, for I shall be hallowed; Me me me me, So you;

33. Thus, I lay my notional claim Unto my servant-leadership- as bang, That brought you out of the land, Didn't it? Akhenaten to me. So Leviticus stood at The simply-inflated Size of Capitalism, To whom, hereto, On a bench they'd built Between themselves, Be here, thisway, is addressing- 'Imagine; You have been wrong For a long long time now.'

[dailyaudiobible]

03/16/2021 DAB Transcript

Numbers 24:1-25:18, Luke 2:1-35, Psalms 59:1-17, Proverbs 11:14

Today is the 16th day of March welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I am Brian. It is an honor, it is a privilege and joy and just fun…fun to be around this Global Campfire together with you, to know that we’re in this together, O just to know that is not a solitary endeavor, that we just have to shoulder the loads on our own, that our brothers and sisters are going through the same kinds of things we are all over the world. The Scriptures tell us that and it's true. We are in this piece of history together. We are in life together because we find ourselves alive on this planet at the same time. And what a joy it is to share this bit of history with you. And one of the ways that we understand our own history is to see how history is played out over the millennia with God in the middle of it, which is what the Scriptures give us. And, so, let's dive in. We are in the book of Numbers in the Old Testament and we've been tracking along with this, man named Balaam who had a donkey who talked to him yesterday. He’s been summoned by a king named Balak to curse the people of Israel. It’s just not working out that way. Let’s pick up that story. Numbers chapters 24 and 25 today.

Commentary:

Okay. So, in the gospel of Luke today we…we read of the birth of Jesus. So, that’s a significant thing to point out. We won’t go into a whole lot of depth other than to just point out what we were pointing out yesterday. This is the last time will read the narrative of the birth of Jesus. Indeed, we’re in the third of the four Gospels. And the Gospel of John is what we’ll read after we finish the book of Luke, but the gospel of John doesn't refer to the Nativity story, the birth of Jesus. And, so, I’m just suggesting that as we move through this territory that we give it significance. I know we just passed through Christmas not too long ago and of this is a very famous story, but this is the story of the coming of the Savior. And, so, just really immersing ourselves into it, especially as we’re moving toward Easter, especially as we have this opportunity move through the gospel of Luke and really absorb and really put ourselves in the story as we move into the Easter season. So, this will be important for us.

But ow let’s go back to the book of numbers because we’ve had a developing story over the course of several days, a story of a man named Balaam who seemed to be hirable to curse people and apparently was effective at doing this sort of behavior because the king of Moab whose name was Balak sent for him, sent far and wide and sent dignitaries to get him to come. So, we can assume the Balaam had some sort of reputation for this sort of thing. Balaam also talked to God and heard from God. And, so, I don't want to go over like every little detail of the story because it's kind of drawn out but let's remember that the Moabite king Balak sent several envoys of prestige to get Balaam to come back to Moab and there was a promise of riches. God spoke to Balaam and told him not to go at least initially. When the first envoy came, they spent the night, Balaam sought God, God said don't go, he told the people, “I can’t go. I can only obey God.” So, the envoy went home. The next envoy came and said, “come, come at once.” Balaam said, “I can…I can only do what God tells me to do. Wait…wait for me to hear from God.” And at that point God said, “you can go.” So, in other words, “go with them but you can only say what I tell you to say.” That is key in this story. Let's remember that Balaam gets paid to do this kind of stuff. Let's remember that Balaam was promised prestige and riches. At first God told him that he couldn't go. So, that was a “no”. And then God told him that he could go as long as he only spoke the words of God. So, what was a no to riches and prestige kind of became a maybe depending on what God told him he could say, which opened up all kinds of possibilities for what might be able to happen to enrich Balaam’s life. And, so, they set off toward Moab. Moab, so that it's not completely confusing is essentially modern day Jordan. So, Balaam has permission to go and there's still a promise of riches and prestige. And, so, they take off and that's when the angel of the Lord comes and stands in front of the donkey stopping the donkey three different times. It's odd. Like it's an odd twist in the story because God gave Balaam permission to go. So, why is God sending an angel to stand in his path? So, the donkey sees the angel and veers off into a field. And, so, Balaam gets mad and beats the donkey back onto the road and they keep walking. Then they go through a vineyard and the donkey can’t get all the way through so Balaam’s foot gets smashed. And, so, Balaam’s pretty angry about that and then he beats the donkey harder and then finally they get to a really narrow place and the angel’s standing there with his sword and the donkey can’t do anything but just sit down. And Balaam is furious, like he's seeing red with rage and beating the donkey and that's when the donkey talks to him like, “have I ever done anything like this to you before? Why are you beating me like this?” It's then that we get true clues to what Balaam has been thinking about as they're taking this journey. So, the donkey says, “what have I done to make you hit me three times?” And Balaam answers, and this is the funny thing. He doesn't answer, “well…you walked into a field or you smashed my foot. Balaam answers, “you made a fool of me. If I had a sword in my hand, I'd kill you right now.” Balaam is traveling with a high-level entourage from the king of Moab who have promised prestige and wealth if you will come to the king. God told him no and then God told him he could go and he's been thinking about it. When his donkey misbehaves because of the angel, he's not confused about why he's having a conversation with a donkey and he's not really all that angry with what the donkey did, he’s angry because he's embarrassed, which reveals that there is pride involved which means that things could get very situational. Once the riches are promised and the prestige is out there then maybe Balaam could say a little curse, even if God didn't announce it maybe he could say a little curse and get out of there. What we see God doing by sending the angel is making it abundantly crystal clear to Balaam is that he must only say what God says. There are no other alternatives on the table at all. Once that is clear to Balaam, he does arrive in Moab to the king Balak who immediately takes him where he can view some of the camp of the Israelites. And Balaam asks for altars to be built and sacrifices to be given and then he goes to seek the Lord for…for His words concerning Israel. He comes back and blesses Israel. Balak the king of Moab who has sent for Balaam to come curse Israel, he’s not happy about this. Of course, Balaam’s got the message loud and clear. “I can only say to you…I can only say what God tells me to say.” So, the king of Moab, Balak, is like, “well, let's go look at this from another angle. Let's go look at the people from a different mountaintop. Like, let’s change our location and maybe God will be more favorable to us over there.” And, so, they go look. They build altars, they make sacrifices. Balaam is unable to curse Israel. And, so, the king of Moab’s like, “let’s go to another place and look at it from another angle and they do that and there is no curse, forthcoming toward Jacob or Israel. So, Balak’s clapping his hands and he's…you can just see him throwing sand, clapping his hands, kicking the dirt, yelling at Balaam like, “I sent for you and I promised you riches and prestige, all you need to do is pronounce a curse on these people and you've only blessed them.” Of course, then Balaam pronounces blessings upon Israel and pretty much curses for the nations surrounding them. Let's now overlay our own story with this story. Maybe we’ve sought God. Maybe God has said “no”. Maybe we’ve accepted no. Maybe we waited a little while and it came up again and we sought God and he said, “yes, but you must obey me completely.” And, so, we begin walking down that path. We’re walking along with those who are around us in this endeavor. And then we begin to think about all of the things that could come from this and then we start shifting the story in our minds, our goals and priorities, the way we’re going to position ourselves begins to suddenly change away from simply going and being the spokesperson for God, like to do God's will and more towards, “yes to all of that and what can I carve off the side for myself?” And then maybe obstacles come, maybe things that stop us in the center of the path or veer us into a field or smash our foot and we’re working so hard to curse the devil away from the thing that we can’t tell that there's an angel blocking the path because we have shifted our motivations. And, so, it looks like missteps or some sort of attack is only illuminating our pride because we’re embarrassed. We can find ourselves in Balm. Balaam ultimately got the message about what he could say what he couldn't say. Then we get to Balak the king and it really becomes our lives all over again. He’s so glad Balaam is there. He wants the curse brought down. The altars are built. Everybody does everything right, it’s just that the curse isn't forthcoming. And, so, what is Balak do? Let's…let's frame this differently. Let's look at this from a different angle. Like let's position this differently. Maybe God will see our way from a different angle and give us what we’re asking for, give us what we want. And that didn't work. And, so, what does Balak want? Well, then let's look at this from another angle. We do this all the time. We want a “yes”. We want what we want. And, so, we’ll just keep reframing the question or keep angling or positioning or manipulating the circumstances so that we can finally whittle the situation down so that we can get what we want. This story exposes so many of the games we try to play. In the end though what God has blessed will be blessed and that which is not blessed by God will not be blessed. This story also has a very interesting twist as it ends because it ends and then it's like we’re in another story where the people of Moab and the people of Israel are getting together and having meals together and worshiping false idols together and…and the women in the men are fraternizing together. It's like a super odd…are we even in the same story? Because it’s like we leave one chapter where God will not curse the Israelites He will only bless them and Balaam only speaks blessing over Israel and then he pronounces curses of…of the surrounding nations, and then the story ends, the next thing we know, the Moabites, which is king Balak’s people and Israel's people, they are having sex. So, there's like a bunch of stuff going on. How did we get from “curse these people so that they will die so that I can destroy them with my army to let's all get together and have a party?” Ironically, Balaam is involved here as well. We don't see it here in this particular story. We will get the rest of the story later in the Bible when a reference back to Balaam is given that tells us that this fraternizing, that the women of Moab going to bed with the men of Israel was a suggestion by Balaam. He ends up dying because of that. So basically, Balaam can't speak anything that the Lord isn’t telling them to speak. But in the end, he gives a strategy. God's not going to curse these people. The only way is to seduce them. So, we see that even in the end, after an angel in the path blocking the path, even though it becomes clear to Balaam he can only speak on behalf of God what God says he’s still trying to carve off a piece for himself and he dies, he dies in battle, as we’ll see later. And, as, for our wilderness experience and how easily it would be to be seduced away from the work in the wilderness toward the promise of comfort, ah, there’s just so much in this one story that so brings up motivations, the impulses that begin us on paths toward actions that we then carry out, whether they're right or wrong.

Prayer:

Father, we open ourselves to that because we are not above lying to ourselves. We've done it lots of times. We’re not above any kind of nuancing whatever it is that we want to manipulate whatever we’re trying to get. We’re not above these things and sometimes we don't even know we’re doing it. Sometimes it's so inherent in the way that we grew up or so inherent in the way that we've made life work so that we can get things done that we don't even see the deception, we don't even see the nuanced behavior that is leading us on a path that can’t end well. And, so, this is a season, this Lenten season is for these things. It's here marked as a season of the year where we really enter into these more difficult deep questions about why we do what we do and what we actually have our faith in. And, so, we invite Your Holy Spirit. Come into these things that are being brought up, the things that You're bringing up. because even as we read these stories and talk about them the overlay is unique to each of our lives. We all have our own story. And yet the motives of the heart are so common that we can think of all kinds of things that You're bringing up. And, so, we invite You into that. We open ourselves to what You're bringing up instead of shutting it down. We open ourselves. Reveal to us the ways that we are going astray, even if it's just by a half a degree, even if it's so subtle we can't even tell, because if we continue on that path, we’re going to ultimately be miles away from where we’re supposed to be. We’re ultimately going to be somewhere totally different than where we we’re supposed to be. So, we open ourselves to realigning our lives with Your will. Come Holy Spirit we pray. In the name of Jesus, we ask. Amen.

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Community Prayer and Praise:

Hi from Baltimore MD God bless you each and every one of you. I so much enjoy the DAB and the DABC, the DAB Kids I listen to the proverbs I’ve listened to the Psalms. I listen every day. I've known about DAB for the last five or six years, but I've really just started listening this year, first of the year and I've been so blessed. I hear people talk about China when she did Chronological that I've actually even listened to China. I've listened to all…well half of January all of February and now I'm in…up to March the 13th. So, yeah, I've really been blessed by the Dab with this ministry and God's really moving in my life. And I just thank Brian and Jill and China, and everyone involved in the ministry including Ezekiel. I just thank you listeners that call in with your prayer requests. I'm touched deeply by each and every request and I pray along with you and for you. And it's such a joy to hear people like Kingdom Seeker Daniel and Blind Tony and all the rest. I'm…I’m just a little nervous right now but I am so happy to be part of this ministry and I just pray that the Lord will reach out and touch each and every one of you and bless you deeply. And I will be calling again.

Good morning this is Flourishing in the Desert and I'm just listening to the community prayer for February 20th and I just want to lift up the family with the beautiful little baby yet to be born who has trouble with his heart. Lord God I thank You that none of this comes as a surprise to You, that You are already there, and You are already with them. Lord God I just thank You that You have chosen these parents to love this baby regardless of defect and I thank You Lord that You are with them through thick and through thin, that Your comfort and Your protection surround them. Lord God I pray that You would encourage them, that You would strengthen them. And Lord should You call this baby home early I just pray Lord God that You would comfort them even in that. And Lord should this baby come to term and live a full and prosperous life as long as You have deemed his life should be, I just pray Lord God that these parents would just cherish every moment with this child regardless of circumstance from the beginning of his life until the end. May they be thankful to You for the blessing and the treasure that You had brought to them of this beautiful, beautiful child. I thank You Lord for this child's life and I thank You for his parents. You are doing a marvelous work in each and every one of them. I trust You Lord, I trust Your work, I trust Your provision, and I trust…I trust You. And I just pray that the family would do so as well. I just lift all of them up to You Lord in Jesus’ name.

Good morning it's a beautiful Sunday morning in Saskatoon downtown. My husband and I are here at a hotel having some renewal time in our marriage and I've been watching a fireplace burning but not burning, just the flames coming up off the coals. And what Brian said on March the 11th how is…how we sometimes don't believe in what…don’t believe that God understands what we're going through. And it's been very painful what I've been going through and many other people have experienced this pain during Covid and before and well beyond. But I know that we are purified by the flame of God in our lives, and we will be a fragrance lifted up to heaven that other people see. I appreciate it's painful it's disruptive. I know I've been impulsive and said things that I shouldn't. I've dedicated too much to my career, but I know that God's forgiven me and I'm gonna take those lies captive like it says in second Corinthians 10:5 and take them captive to the obedience of God and allow the truth of the word of God to penetrate into set me free. I also want to pray for Jade now one of my friends who is still very ill. His body is on fire with inflammation of autoimmune disorders. And he had a piece of his tongue removed make sure it's not cancer I guess and he and his wife Gloria and two children are so beautiful and they need your prayers. It's been three months now. It's the middle of December to now…

Hey DAB family this is…I'm just gonna just go by C in this request. I just wanted to reach out, cry out to…I'm praying and I…I need you guys to pray for me too that I've been dealing with postpartum depression now since December and just things feel endlessly hard. I just feel weary. I'm so tired of feeling this hopelessness and I know that God is working but I feel like I can't see any fruits of the Holy Spirit in my life right now and I just honestly feel like I'm really worthless for His Kingdom. And I know have 4 kids who need me, a husband who needs me and I am hanging on for them but I just really need prayer because things feel really dark today and they have felt really dark this week and last week. And yeah, so just please pray for me.

Prayer for Catalina continues She's a sister of faith like a flint and this is her ninth time in the hospital in a health…in the behavioral health unit with psychotic affective bipolar disorder. It's a long long diagnosis. I don't understand it, but God does, and He gives the doctors wisdom and the treatment. And, so, I pray that the treatment this time will be so effective that she will never have to return to the hospital the 10th time in the name of Jesus I pray this. And I pray that she would be receptive to what the treatment plans are and I pray for her brother and the remainder of her family as they surround her with prayer, that they be encouraged as they see Christ…Jesus move in her life so she will totally dedicate her life to you. There are two persons who have lost their joy. Tammy is in remission from ovarian cancer. She's feeling emotionally overwhelmed and she's now caring for her husband as the kids haven't come around much anymore since it seems that she is doing better. Anne in Vancouver, after three years of suffering you've been diagnosed with pelvic prolapse and your joy is also gone. We hear it all the time, the joy of the Lord is our strength, but when we have no joy, you know, it's so hard to reach out and grasp that strength that is there for us. So, sometimes hearing these things we can't even fathom it. So, our family here, we’re lifting you up and I am praying the joy of the Lord will return to both of you, you will skip like dear, you will soar on eagles wings and you will be so joyful it will be contagious to your family and friends.

[thesethingsofours]

Parents are the Worst.

I recently began listening to Nice White Parents, a new podcast hosted by self-confessed nice white parent, Channa Joffe-Walt. It’s produced by the people in and around Serial, This American Life, S-Town and The New York Times. If you are familiar with those titles, you’ll know what to expect – in-depth, considered analysis of a heretofore, under-exposed social issue, executed with an East Coast progressive liberal stride; a pleasingly audible, irreverent gait and the swagger of emotional intelligence and self-aware humility. Through research, interviews and attaching herself to the Brooklyn School of International Studies for several years, Joffe-Walt tells the story of the New York Public school system and its apparent failure to meaningfully integrate itself since Brown v Board of Education made racial segregation illegal over 65 years ago.

In episode 2, Joffe-Walt tracks down and interviews some nice white parents from around the time the school opened in 1963. These people had written letters encouraging the school board to erect the school building closer to their own neighbourhood (and consequently further away from the darker-skinned families it was more likely to serve). They expressively emphasised their wishes to send their kids there and virtuously aid the process of integration, which they believed to be morally imperative.

But apparently, none of these letter writers subsequently sent their kids to that school. It remained, as anticipated, a predominantly non-white school. Laid alongside the tense machinations of the contemporary school’s invasion by a large new cohort of white parents and their issue, Joffe-Walt’s hypothesis is that white parents have always held liberal aims, and the clout to impose them, but do so with little consideration for their non-white counterparts or any real commitment to seeing through the incumbent practicalities. From the outset, this natural conclusion is persistently hinted at, not least from the podcast’s deliberately provocative title. Perhaps, on an individual level, this hypothesis contains some truth.

However, as the story extends, the blame gains weight and the theory mutates into a generalised accusation. Responsibility for the mediocre state of New York’s (and by implication, America’s) public schools is explicitly laid at the pale feet of white parents. It's an exposition of what is often described as “White Guilt” and its corresponding effort at contrition (i.e. the guilt felt from the inherited sin of one’s ancestors’ oppression of non-white people, primarily through slavery). While White Guilt might have its conceptual uses for a few people to come to terms with idea of race (although even there I am sceptical), its value as a wider social narrative is deeply unconvincing, and potentially damaging. Nice White Parents does a good job showing why.

In the podcast, anecdotal evidence is drastically extrapolated to justify White Guilt. Unless backed up by unequivocal data, it is inherently flawed to base so much on interviews with a handful of people in their 80s about a letter they wrote in the 60s, and (in episode 3) a now middle-aged woman about her perception of school when she was 13. Equally so is to use the example of a single New York school to imply that nice white parents are universally responsible for all the failings of American public schooling. A quick empirical comparison with countries unburdened by America’s racial psychosis would almost certainly reveal this argument to be fundamentally false. I hazard to suggest that Joffe-Walt set out, either consciously or subconsciously, to prove the theory of Nice White Parents, and has therefore fallen into the trap of verification bias.  

Of course, the truth is likely to be far simpler – green, cheddar, dead presidents and moolah (which middle-aged white people in American disproportionately possess). Better schools arrive from broad, deep and perpetual community investment – from good, affordable housing and well-paying jobs to well-paid teachers and decent facilities. That means higher taxes on the wealthy and better provincial management. If a completely non-white school district received $50 billion to invest in their community with educational improvement as its ultimate goal (that or the abolition of private schools), I suspect the idea of nice white parents would quickly evaporate.

It is plainly a damaging distraction to focus on the role of supposed-predisposed-racism of well-meaning, middle-class people, who simply want the best possible education for their children. Instead, the message for the “hereby accused” should be to use their numerical majority and voting power to advocate for systems that would reduce inequality, regardless of race. In this respect, it strikes me that wealth is a sacrosanct subject in America, something that one can never apologise for having too much of. Quite the opposite – the culture is built on celebrating those who hoard capital. Is it possible that Americans are taught never to apologise for having money, so those who see something wrong develop other issues, such as race, for which they can atone?

More deeply, the podcast reveals how the White Guilt narrative is in ideological conflict with the very wrong it is supposedly trying to right. Taken to its conclusion, it inevitably reinforces the idea that white people are innately superior, and race is the primary determining factor for success in American life. In the context of the podcast, it is applied to suggest that New York public schools are destined to fail their students unless white kids and their parents get involved. It is gloriously ironic that condemning the influence of white parents on public schools serves to reinforce the supposed inferiority of non-white participants in the education system… because of their lack of whiteness. At the end of episode 3, Jaffe-Walt lays this out:

Nice white parents shape public schools even in our absence, because public schools are maniacally loyal to white families even when that loyalty is rarely returned back to the public schools. Just the very idea of us, the threat of our displeasure, warps the whole system. So “separate” is still not equal because the power sits with white parents no matter where we are in the system. I think the only way you equalise schools is by recognising this fact and trying wherever possible to suppress the power of white parents. Since no one is forcing us to give up power we white parents are going to have to do it voluntarily, which, yeah how's that going to happen? That's next time on Nice White Parents…

(Consider replacing every mention of “white” in this excerpt with “affluent”. Would that not feel infinitely more true?)

In fairness, the honourable, “anti-racist” intention is clear – in order to defeat “white supremacy” white people need to accept their inherited and systemic superiority and eliminate it. Sadly, any idea centred around race – whether malicious or well-intentioned – is bound to collapse under even the slightest pressure. To be truly anti-racist is to recognise that race itself doesn’t exist (other than as an abstract concept that, having infected people’s perceptions after four centuries of concerted, localised propaganda, must be eradicated). Race has no basis in science or nature; it cannot be quantified in any reasonable, measurable way. Simply, it is a lie; invented to excuse the exploitation of others for the purposes of wealth-generation. To base one’s actions on it in any way is to take a leap of faith into a void with no landing. Race is a malignant, empty God; belief in which is destined to lead to malignant, empty behaviour. “Racism” and “Anti-Racism” (as it is currently understood) are therefore both empty, malignant religions, practiced in service of a non-existent deity.

Notably, there are still two episodes to go (released August 13th and 20th). Either might serve to recover some balance. But by episode 3, the stage is not only set for this conclusion to be drawn, but the 1st Grade nativity is in its final scene and the wise men are long since gone.

All that said, if you let the incessant racialization of all things drift past you rather than choking on it, as plain entertainment – storytelling rather than journalism – it’s still an engaging listen; well-constructed and convincingly told. Furthermore, on a non-racial level (if you can somehow listen beyond it), the podcast does have some value, since it reminds me of something I have long half-joked about – that parents (of all stripes) are the worst.

Aside from the obvious, complex Freudian reasons, on a socio-political level, when a choice arises between a laudable, achievable change and putting one’s own children at a perceived disadvantage in order to effect it, a parent will choose its child’s advantage almost every time. No matter their colour, few parents will sacrifice their own child’s prospects – even minutely – to advance the hypothetical children of someone else, or society more widely. Parents are company directors whose primary obligation is to their miniature, genetically-derivative shareholders – they’ll only vote for large-scale change if it is net-profitable or government-imposed.

And of course, parents should pay their kids the maximum dividend. Who else will? A parent is legally and morally obliged to do the best for the young life they are charged with defending. And therein lies the joke. Parents are the worst only because they are ubiquitous. They created you, me and everyone else. We all had them, and most people end up being one. It is therefore less of a criticism than an inevitable, evolutionary truth – just one we should probably be more honest and upfront about. Unknowingly, underneath (and in some ways, because of) its misguided, exhausting racial handwringing, Nice White Parents just about makes this point.

Listen to Nice White Parents here or wherever you get your podcasts.

[atariince]

I read your opinion on Luthien and I was intrigued about what you considered the selfish side of her. Would you mind elaborate ? I say this because the tale of Beren and Luthien Is the most unispiring tale -at least for me- sacrifying lives for the sake of two lovers

Hello, and thanks for your message and question!

First things first: You, I, we don’t have to feel ecstatic about every characters and every storylines, and you don’t have to justify your preferences. That character doesn’t appeal to you? All right, then! There are plenty of other characters to focus on! (just, you know, don’t shit on people who actually like the characters you’re not fond of). ;) 

I do have a very complicated and ambivalent relationship to the story of Beren and Lúthien; I really can’t say I dislike it, not at all, but it tends to upset me. You ask about my mention of the “selfishness” of Lúthien… [To be honest, I don’t really remember what I said in the post you mention (which is probably a rather old one???) so I can only hope that I’ll be coherent and not too repetitive (generally speaking, my opinion hasn’t changed over the years, but it mighthave evolved)] -  I can understand that my opinion might seem confusing, but in fact, you answered the question yourself: The sacrifice of many for the sake of one couple… (that’s a schematic presentation, yes). But it’s a bit more complicated than that. I actually like the character of Lúthien per se. I like her as a strong, a bit creepy, dog-eared lady who remains blind to a lot of things. I like her being prideful and I like her being FLAWED. You know why? Because I can relate. I’m not perfect, far from it. Nobody is. And if I cannot see my own flaws in a character, I’ll have a hard time being interested in them.

So my problem with the Lay of Leithian has nothing to do with the characters themselves - whether you like them or not, they remain interesting – it has to do with the treatment of the characters, the (frustrating) perspective adopted by the narrator(s), the way the couple seems to be forgiven deeds which would have been considered criminal/terrible/unforgivable if they had been committed by other characters (follow my gaze).

And yes, I can’t deny that I have my own biased reading because of my preference for the Fëanorians, but I try to be as objective as possible (though I can’t be completely objective. I mean, who could?)

So. 

Lúthien is a strong female character, steadfast and fearless, and that’s something I definitely like about her. Now, I’m not fond of the “perfect lady” aura given to the character, you know? This idea that she’s flawless and whatever she does is a good thing. Some sort of a saint (if there were saints in Arda). At no point the narrative voice questions her decisions, she’s always in the light. She is presented as perfect and every other characters seem to agree, no matter what she decides to do. I find all this very irritating, although I guess that’s also what the genre requires (I’ll come back to that point at the end of the post). 

Yet, let’s keep in mind that Lúthien is not like the other Eldar; her mother is an Ainu, and that element is extremely important: she is half divine. It’s crucial because it means that

How could the other Eldar and humans not be, at least, fascinated by her? 

It must be complicated for the Eldar to actually criticise her… I mean, she’s the offspring of demiurgic power!

She must have a specific fate (if Eru allowed her mom to become incarnate and to have a kid with an Elda, He must have some plans)(spoilers : He does)

She must have a different approach of reality, a different way to feel the world, to live in the world, to be concerned with the world and its inhabitants. 

She is powerful and has powers that no other Eldar could ever dream of, which makes her somehow dangerous.

This being said, let’s return the matter at stake:  your question about this self-interest of her, and the sacrifices it implies; not the sacrifice of Beren or Lúthien for one another, but the almost death of thousands of Eldar for them to be together (and I won’t talk of here of Finrod’s choices and his gruesome death because that’s a matter which I’ve already talked about at length – here for instance)

Besides, I mostly agree with Litamande’s interpretation of the Nargothrond episode, so I’ll waste no time repeating it and I advise you to read if that’s not already done. I’ll just point out a few selfish elements to actually elaborate on the “selfish side of Lúthien” (although it doesn’t mean I blame her for being selfish):

1. Lúthien would let a kinslaying happen to be with her lover 

By disobeying her father and by running to Nargothrond, she took the risk of bringing her father’s wrath to Nargothrond.

I know, I know: the texts say that Thingol gets mad because of the Fëanorians' plan to get her married to Celegorm (mind you, I don’t say the Fëanorians don’t have anything to be blamed for, they do, but that’s not the point of this post) but something tells me that, no matter the nature of the Fëanorians' message, Thingol would have been furious - marriage proposal or not, Thingol could have very well played the diplomatic card, discussed the whole thing (or at least  pretended to), got his daughter back and then told the Fëanorians to fuck off. Instead, he prepared his army for an eventual kinslaying. I mean, thanks to the Fëanorians' message, he knows where daughter is, he knows she is relatively “safe” in Nargothrond – and the Fëanorians are just a small impediment which Thingol could get rid of without killing the entire population of Nargothrond…. so I tend to believe that, at this point, Thingol was so offended and upset and panicked in general terms that he would have been mad, not matter who would have said “I found your daughter!”

And I do believe that Lúthien knew it, or at least, considered that it could be a possibility. She’s not stupid. She’s definitely not that naïve.

Likewise, after the Tol Sirion episode, she would rather stay with Beren instead of going back to Doriath, even if that decision leads to a war of elves against elves. It is clearly given in the Lay that Thingol was ready to go to war to get her back, and although I can understand why she wants to stay with her boyfriend, the lives of hundreds of elves are at stake! And coming from the heir of a sovereign, it’s rather… unpolitical, to say the least. And yes, selfish. Now, I’m not saying she shouldn’t be selfish! On the contrary. Please girl, do what you will! 

What upsets me is that she’s still presented as a flawless saint by the narrator, by the other characters, by the Valar and nobody ever tells her that her decisions almost created a war. How frustrating is that? 

2. L&B let a kinslaying happen to keep the Nauglamir in the family

She and Beren have come back from Mandos, they’re in Tol Galen, they have a lovely kid and they talk to no mortal. And they have a Silmaril because Thingol’s dead and Doriath is in a pretty bad state. We know the Fëanorians dare not attack Lúthien, but she knew the risk of keeping a Silmaril, didn’t she? She knew they would do their best to take it back after her death. And although I understand why the Silmaril is symbolically important to her (they died for it , her dad died for it, etc.) she knows what it means to keep a Silmaril; In some versions (“The Nauglafring”, “the Quenta”… see also “The Tale of Years” in HoME XI), Melian herself warns (wrathfully) her and Beren against it… even if Lúthien stops wearing it in some texts, they never ever think about giving it back to the Fëanorians… You’ll tell me that they are the Dispossessed, they can’t have it back anyway, or there would be no story at all. 

I think what upsets me the most here, is not that she decided to keep it no matter what, but the treatment of it. Again. When anyone else in the texts desires a Silmaril or tries to keep a Silmaril, there’s always a warning somewhere, something implying, “this character is becoming greedy and is making a huge mistake blahblah”. But not here, at no point she’s is given as potentially making a mistake, she’s neither depicted as prideful, nor greedy nor anything  – same thing with Beren when he tries to pick up the second Silmaril from the crown of Melkor ; yes he raises hell with his mistake and paid for it, but no one blames him. In the “Quenta” it is even said that he failed to take all the three jewels because of the “knife of the treacherous dwarves”, as if he had nothing to blame himself for… You see why I’m upset. The narrative perspective is completely unfair.

3. The Mandos episode

It is not about Lúthien’s selfishness but it is a fair example of those prejudices. Lúthien is said to be the only one who managed to bring pity into Námo‘s heart. Yet she’s not the only mourning… the Bragollach had happened roughly a decade before the L&B’s story. There are thousands of people in Middle Earth and in Mandos (and in Valinor) weeping and mourning a sibling, a lover, aparent, a child – Lúthien lost her bf whom she met a couple of years before but “her sorrow [is] deeper than their sorrows”??? She is actually given as the one feeling the greatest grief ever? I just… No.

Well, actually, it is no surprise that Námo is moved by her song : she is divine! Her mom sang during the creation of the world…!

Alright yeah, I’m being cynical, I admit it. But what I’m trying to do is not to tell you what’s good or bad or what you should think of the whole thing. I’m barely trying to offer you another perspective, to point at what is not totally clear, what doesn’t make sense to me, what upsets me, so you can maybe see it from another point of view. It’s always an interesting thing to do, even if in the end you don’t change your mind.

And believe it or not, the Lay of Leithian is one of my favourite texts! And maybe it is precisely because of all those elements that confuse me and/or irritate me! At least it gives me something to think about, some new gaps to fill with my imagination!

Now, and this is VERY important, let’s keep in mind that the first Beren and Lúthien writings go back to Tolkien’s youth, and that what Tolkien wanted to do was to write a “heroic-romance from the realm of Faërie" inspired by medieval literature and ancestral folklore. He obviously knew what he was doing, he knew the codes of that kind of literature, and all those elements which I pointed out were carefully wrought by the author; he was aware of the characteristics of the genre and toyed with them, proof is the parodical commentary of the Lay of Leithian by CS Lewis. And come on, technically speaking, the Lay is a masterpiece, if not a feat!  Besides, we also know how dear this particular love story was to Tolkien, and without making it a metaphor of his own life, we can’t ignore this aspect. Therefore, my criticisms are neither literary, scholarly ones, nor personal ones against the author. They’re barely the reflections of a very subjective feeling (and I strongly emphasize that word) of my own, regarding those events and the way they are rendered within the whole history of Middle Earth, as in intradiegetic vision of them.

And to conclude, if Lúthien had not fought for her love story to be a thing, therewould have been no Dior, no Elwing, no Earendil… it is a part of the whole narrative line, of the whole scheme that lead to the salvation of the people of Middle Earth in the 1st Age. SO yes, her selfishness is somehow rightful, it has a purpose, it is for the GREATER GOOD. And again, what bothers me is not Lúthien herself, it is the fact that her decisions are never questioned, by no one at any point. And I believe that if some readers don’t find this tale inspiring, as you put it, it is precisely because of the treatment of L&B ; they’re perfect, unworldly perfect, how could we easily relate to them?