#ONE OF UR COMFORT FICS I MIGHT CRY 😭

[maiseui]

TRIAGE! ┊ a lee heeseung series — FINALE ♡

you try to teach the nerd how to date.

synopsis: heeseung is not, by any measure, date-able. he’s dorky, he’s nerdy, and he does this weird thing where he snorts loudly every time he laughs. in fact, he loves everything that normal people are allergic to — computer science, collecting rare comic books, and birdwatching on the weekend.

given that you two have obviously nothing in common, you find yourself utterly flabbergasted when you receive a letter in your locker, on which heeseung has written, "hi. will you please teach me how to date?"

MASTERLIST HERE !

kayla’s playlist (@/miiiwaa) ♡ my shitty og playlist . tags : #.*triage .

TAGLIST

@enhyflirt @dreamyenskz @icedcoffeesunwoo @ssolari @skazoo @jjunis @heejake-en @koroktsuya @jeongwins @tinykoi-s @en-boyz @soobin-chois @blessed-sky @jhyunieee @kisswon @vbxrin @cosmicsunghoon @bloomedberry @jungwonielove @miiiwaa @jungwoniee @lhsng @missharubear @deonuism @sarahxy537 @bambisgirl @hrrhmay-primaryblog @yeonzzun @msxflower @sunsunu @jangwonie @sweetjaemss @seungstarss @tokyoflies @solelyenha @softforqiankun @goodforgyu @va1ry @taekbokki @ashxxkook @moon-gyus @jakeified @markleeisdabestdrug @wccycc @viagumi @pisss111 @outrologist @fairfairee @hiqhkey @ctrlemis

chapter five (finale)

word count: 8k | navigation: previous / MASTERLIST warnings: swearing, (verbal) bullying a/n: final chapter; thank you so much for reading this far. sorry this took so long to get to you :(

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‘let’s have a little talk, you dweeb.’

heeseung had been backed into a corner.

while he often liked to reserve that idiom for metaphoric effect, he means it quite literally — ryujin and taehyun had literally backed him into a corner of a bedroom with no way out.

it was obvious he had stumbled across something he shouldn’t have. 

ryujin and taehyun kissing? how disturbing.

if it were up to him, he truly wouldn’t have meddled in their business. however, the way they’re sneering at him leads him to believe that they think his actions were intentional. he wants to insist that no part of this was deliberate—that he was honestly just trying to find you—but tense silence circulates the trio and he has no inclination to speak first.

“who the fuck do you think you are?” ryujin punctuates the silence with her malice, making him inwardly wince. her hands find their way to her hips as she openly scowls with disdain. “god, you’re annoying.” 

“i-i should go,” heeseung lowers his head, scratching the nape of his neck. “i didn’t mean to intrude,” he laughs nervously in an attempt to dispel their hostility, “i was just trying to find—”

“no, you should stay.” taehyun suggests, a smirk slithering to his lips. he rolls his head around his neck before sighing contently. “you should stay and play with us.” 

play…?

heeseung physically recoils with horror, stomach twisting with unease. there’s something about taehyun’s predatory stare that flares goosebumps all the way across his arms. he realises that the most wise decision right now is to escape the enclosed space as soon as possible. 

“sorry, i-i don’t want to keep my parents waiting,” he lies, lowering his head. “they’re downstairs.”

the two exchange impish glances.

“well, we won’t be long,” ryujin stifles a laugh before taking a seat on the bed. she folds one leg over the other, leaning back with her arms propped up. “since you were creeping on us, we thought you could exchange the favour and tell us all about your girlfriend.”

“girlfriend?” heeseung blinks. he doesn’t have a girlfr— oh.

miss sunset.

you? his… girlfriend?

as if.

“oh,” heeseung dips his head shyly. “n-no, you’re mistaken. she’s, um… she’s not my girlfriend.”

if he were being honest, he was kind of hoping to change that some day.

“what, so you guys haven’t fucked yet?” ryujin bats her lashes, a playful stare in her eyes.

heeseung’s brows instantly furrow, a frown on his lips. frankly, he was a little bugged by their vulgarity and the tone used to address you. this was the same type of contempt he noticed in other people in his life — like his aunt at her wedding, who pulled him aside and cautioned that ‘girls like that are foxes, heeseung! they’re nothing but trouble.’

it shouldn't matter, because they’re all wrong.

every single one of them. 

they're wrong.

it boggles his mind that people can’t see what he sees.

then again, it can’t be helped that all the best things about you are what can’t be seen. sure, you’re so pretty that sometimes he can’t even meet your eyes properly, but you’re also warmer and kinder than you give yourself credit to be. you must not realise, but he notices the little things you do for him — like the way you clean his glasses when he places them down on the table to sleep; or the way you pretend you’re full so he can finish the rest of your lunch; or the way you scribble encouraging little notes and drawings on his textbooks when you know he has a long night of studying ahead of him. 

it boggles his mind that some people may never have the privilege of peeking behind the curtain to see that you’re warm, and funny, and kind, and caring. you embody everything that his well-fitting nickname suggests. miss sunset — a blaze of colour; an explosion of soft yellows, bright oranges, fierce reds, pearly pinks and vibrant purples. 

you’re a fiery kiss to the sky.

it’s both a shame and an honour that he’s able to keep you to himself. 

“you know she likes you, right?” ryujin smirks, erecting from the bed.

heeseung’s eyes instantly round. “wh-what?”

“yeah,” she slowly slinks toward him. “she told me.”

“r-really?”

“duh. why wouldn’t she? we’re best friends,” ryujin scoffs, arms folded. “and i know her better than anyone. we’ve known each other since we were little kids, you know.” 

heeseung notices that you don’t often talk about your relationship with ryujin and taehyun. you don’t really tell heeseung much about anything from your past, but he would certainly consider your old friendships to be the biggest elephant in the room. he doesn’t doubt that you were all once close friends, but he knows you haven’t been in contact with them for a while now. it’s obvious why, in his opinion — they’re mean-spirited people who enjoy sinking their claws into people and injecting poison.

they’re callous and vicious and hateful. they’re everything that you’re not. 

‘best friends’? he felt insulted for you.

it was like trying to hold a candle to the sun.

“what… what was she like?” heeseung can’t help but ask, his stomach doing a little flip at the thought of you as a child. he knows he should probably leave the room, but the temptation runs too deep — he wants to consume everything about you.

what did your hair look like? what did your laugh sound like? did you prefer playing outside or staying inside? what made you smile during the day and what kept you up at night?

his heart began to thump at the thought of these answers before reluctance settled in.

was it wrong to wonder these many things about you? 

was he allowed to be curious? 

would that truly be okay — given that you were a goddess and he was next to nothing?

“cute,” ryujin replies, head bobbing. “she was cute.” 

aha!

heeseung can’t help but smile profusely. “of course! i knew it,” he mumbles, blushing to himself. of course she was cute; beauty like that must have been obvious even at a young age.

ryujin’s razor-sharp stare remained. she seemed to study heeseung carefully before lowering her gaze. “she was also kind of mean, i guess,” she continued, inspecting her nails nonchalantly. “a bit of a bully.”

taehyun stifled a laugh at this, and they exchanged knowing glances as though they were indulging in an inside joke. “oh, yeah, i remember she once bullied that kid for sitting in her seat.”

bullied?

heeseung frowned, doubtful about their claims. he reminds himself that they’re both the type of people to embellish any story for their own entertainment. “you’re wrong,” he frowns. “she wouldn’t do something like that. sh-she’s not like you. she’s different.”

ryujin’s lips extend into a smile. “how well do you think you know her?”

his frown deepened. “better than you do.” 

the pair instantly burst into cacophonous laughter that seems to poison the air in the room. 

heeseung bites his bottom lip, feeling unease swirling around at the pit of his stomach. 

��really?” ryujin defies him with a raised brow. “you really think you know her that well?”

he nods slowly.

“okay,” she tilts her head, “then where is she right now?”

heeseung’s eyes flicker to the ground. he didn’t know the answer to that question, but that wasn’t indicative of anything. “well, i-i don’t know, but… she’ll be back—”

“obviously, she ditched you. she left you, heeseung, it’s something we used to do a lot. we’d invite two or three suckers to a party, get them drunk as shit, and then make them entertain us for the next few hours.” 

his eyes widened as he fell into momentary silence, forming as many rational justifications as he could. “but… i was the one who asked her to come with me. and… and you just told me that she… she likes me.”

ryujin rolled her eyes. “the only reason yuna invited you was because we thought it’d be funny. plus, don’t get me wrong — i’m sure she likes you, but don’t put any weight on that. it’s like how a person can like a helpless puppy. it’s pity; that’s all it is.”

“th-that doesn’t mean anything.” heeseung felt discomfort sprout inside his chest, branching insidiously in his lungs and up his throat. “that has nothing to do with her! she’s… she’s an angel.”

“really?” ryujin slithered over toward him and placed a hand on his shoulder, clenching it tightly to bring their faces close. “then why’d she tell us about that letter of yours?”

heeseung felt his heart drop to his feet. “wh-what?”

“the letter you left in her locker,” ryujin continued. “what did it say again? something like…” she pretended to brainstorm, tapping her chin with a finger. “oh! right… wasn’t it something like hi, will you please teach me how to date?” ryujin giggled as taehyun joined in snickering from behind.

his breathing quickened. the letter. 

you told him you never told anyone about that. 

did you lie?

maybe they’re bluffing — you wouldn’t do that. and even if you did lie, you would have definitely told heeseung afterward, right?

“the funniest part was the fact that you signed it off like the fucking virgin-loser you are. kind regards, lee heeseu—” they cackled again, this time even louder. they continued to banter with one another by echoing the contents of the letters. 

heeseung felt himself shrink. hot tears burned his eyes as he felt their humiliation pile on and on as though they were determined in hammering him into the ground. 

“oh my god,” ryujin laughed, wiping the tears from her eyes. “gee, thanks for tonight’s entertainment, heeseung,” she chuckles off the rest of her amusement, “i wish i took a photo of the letter or something. so that i could share it around with—”

“no!” heeseung cried as he swallowed the lump in his throat and began to enter a swivet of panic. “d-don’t! i-i—”

“you’re shaking like a leaf!” ryujin pouts, reaching to grab his shoulder before he flinches. “it’s okay. i won’t tell anyone. unlike your girlfriend, i know how to keep secrets,” she whistled. “say, heeseung… i’m keeping a lot of secrets these days, aren’t i?” she brushed his hair with her fingers.

“even yours.”

he stopped dead, chest rising up and down as he attempted to breathe. he tried to clear his tears with rapid blinking, but it only resulted 

“don’t worry. we’ve been nice. we haven’t told her your secret yet,” she winked. 

yet?

“listen,” ryujin’s voice lowers, her finger lifting his chin so that he faces her. “i really don’t want to keep your parents waiting for too long, so i’ll say this: your girlfriend’s not a saint. she’s vicious in her own way. and if you hate us for the things we make you do, then you should hate her, too. why? because she and i are exactly the same — everything we’ve done to you, she’s done to someone else.”

“y-you’re… you’re wrong.” he turned away from her finger.

ryujin hummed once. “well, let’s face the facts.” her lips slowly lifted into a grin. “you’re alone right now, heeseung. she’s not even here. she left you. i saw her get in the car and leave just earlier. go ahead and look outside if you don’t believe me.” 

heeseung’s gaze flickered to the ground.

“but anyway,” ryujin whirls around and exchanges a smile with taehyun. “we gotta go… we wouldn’t want to stay out too late since we have an early morning, right?” she smirks. “we’ll see you tomorrow, heeseung. at the police station.”

“wh-what? why?”

“because someone ratted us out,” taehyun chimes in, eyes rolling. “so we’ll keep your secret so long as you do one more favour for us.”

you can have your puzzle back. i don't want it anymore.

“you can have your puzzle back.” your little sun says, his voice lowering into a register so low that you almost miss it. “i don’t want it anymore.”

the room remained dark as heeseung’s words hung like ghosts in dead silence.

it was deafening, the way his whisper was the softest sound you’d ever heard. you were holding your breath, fearing a reality in which i don’t want it anymore meant something beyond what you could hear at face value.

“i don’t want your stupid gift,” he croaks, burying his face in his hands, stifling a sob. “j-just… please, just leave me alone.”

finding him sitting in the dark room alone and crying made your heart shatter. it was easy to confront the idea that ryujin or taehyun had hurt him, but you weren’t equipped to face the possibility that it might have been you. the distance he was creating between the two of you allowed your inner antagonisms to fester — your chest tightened with unease, exacerbated by the pressure of fear expanding within you.

“h-heeseung,” you blurted in surprise, your throat so parched that it forced you to swallow and brace yourself for what felt like impending heartbreak. “why…”

you were so stunned that it honestly felt as though time had stopped moving for a moment. you allowed space to pour between the two of you — you let a beat pass, then two, then three, then four, and with each one that scurried by, you grew more and more apprehensive that he wasn’t going to retrace his steps. you thought there was a chance he’d backpedal his words and tell you they’d sprung from his chest in the heat of the moment, but instead, he let you soak in abject misery.

your heart sank. above everything, you were terrified — he was slipping away from you like dust between your fingertips. it wasn’t long before tears followed — they blurred your vision, no matter how many times you’d tried to dismiss them with your hands.

“h-heeseung?” you called his name softly and hoped to peel his fingers away from his face, but he flinched at your touch. in every attempt you make in closing the distance, you find that heeseung draws a line between you; each harsher than the last. he recoils at your touch, shrivels at the sound of your voice, and offers you nothing but a view of his back that shields you away. 

he was cowering from you.

it made you feel ill. sick. like the taste of bile was rising to your mouth and leaving an acidic, ghostly burn in your throat. bit by bit, your resolve was crumbling like a house of cards. 

“tell me what’s wrong,” you begged him, crouching before him on the carpet though he curled away from you. “i promise i’ll fix it, okay? i’ll fix everything.” 

“y-you can’t,” he sniffled.

you felt your throat constrict. “why not?”

“because…” heeseung finally lifted his head, and the moment your eyes locked with his bloodshot ones, it felt as though his fear, hurt, and pain ricocheted back to you tenfold and struck you like a stab to the heart. he sniffled again. “because you lied,” you saw his eyes well with tears again, “and i lied, and—” his voice became smaller. “all we do is lie to each other.”

perhaps this was what you’d always feared — that you were going to be the one to break him.

after all, you had a tendency to do precisely that. you can’t even count the number of times you’d accidentally shattered the dishes in the kitchen that your mother adored so dearly. or the number of bones you’d broken during wild dares from late nights. or the countless number of fractured friendships in your life because you never really struggled with breaking — whether they were dishes, or bones, or promises, or hearts.

was he another?

was heeseung just another one of those things you were always bound to break?

“please leave,” his voice was becoming softer, and softer, and softer, further eclipsed by his cries. you could tell he was struggling to make out his words. you could also tell that he was being honest. 

you’ve never had anyone beg you like this before.

“okay,” you whisper, tears littering the carpet. “i’ll leave.” 

unable to look at him any further, you twist on your heels. you do what you do best — you run. you run down the stairs and out the house and run and run and run, ashamed that this story has unfolded the exact way anyone could have predicted.

he hates you, you may love him, and neither of you are puzzle pieces that fit together. 

perhaps heeseung was right; perhaps you truly are sunrises and sunsets, because alike parallel lines, the two never meet. 

perhaps heeseung never taught you to heal after all. perhaps broken bones and hearts can never properly heal, the same way cuts and grazes may leave permanent scars on our bodies. perhaps your body did what it could to fix what broke, but it only took one gust of wind to retrace old scars and re-break what will always remain broken.

you’ve never been very good with your emotions.

you constantly misrepresent them. 

you smile when you’re sad, frown when you’re happy, say things you don’t mean and omit the words that you resonate deepest with. 

after the party, you cried like you have never cried before. it was a foreign, almost out-of-body experience. every emotion exploded and pierced through the thin surface they were bubbling beneath. your scathing tears had soaked everything — your eyes, your cheeks, and your pillow late through the night. the worst of it was the heaviness inside your chest that ceased to subside, one so hefty that it was the reason you felt like you were sinking to the bottom of an ocean.

it was only until the next morning that anger, the emotion you consider to be the easiest to wear, brought you the energy to pay a visit to ryujin. you were going to get the answers to all your questions. 

after all, that was what you’d learned over the years — anger is the only emotion that gets you answers.

which is why you began with ruthlessly banging your fist on her front door.

“open the door, ryujin!” you bellow.

bang! bang! bang! 

what could she have possibly said to heeseung?

bang! bang! bang! 

why? why was it that ryujin was so insistent on butting in your life?

bang! bang! bang! 

was this some form of karmic reparation? was the universe simply rescinding what should have never been yours in the first place?

you didn’t know what you were going to do. or say, for that matter. yet here you were, desperately trying to claw your way up to the surface where the sun kisses the water. to hell you were going to let this heaviness make you sink and give ryujin the satisfaction.

with no response on the other end, you began to kick the door now.

bang! bang! bang! 

“i said, open this fucking d—”

it finally swings open. 

“are you fucking nuts?” ryujin shrieks from the other side, face contorted with outrage and disbelief. she glances at the door before openly gaping at you. “what the hell? you’re going to break the fucking do—”

you waste no time in lunging toward her. you shove her with both hands, thrusting her so far behind that she lurches back and stumbles onto the floor. while sprawled on the ground, ryujin instantly snaps her head up at you and scowls. “what the fuck is wro—”

yet again, you don’t give her much time to react. you step toward her, making her scramble back before her back hits the wall. as the distance between the two of you closes, you crouch in front of her and roughly push the side of her head with a finger.

“what, ryujin?” you smirk vindictively. “did that hurt?”

her chest sharply rises heavily when she meets your icy glower. “get out.”

though she attempts to pick herself up from the floor, you harshly grip her shoulder and force her back down. you reach over and tap her cheek condescendingly, your voice now a lowly whisper. 

“how funny,” you scoff, head tilted. “i thought i told you to stay out of my life.”

she grits her teeth. “i said, get out.”

“why should i? you’re the one who keeps insisting on getting involved in my shit.” 

“you’re batshit.” she gapes at you. “is this about that dweeb?”

“his name is heeseung.” you snap at her, bunching the collar of her shirt in your fist. you yank her toward you, your other fist lifted and curled.

ryujin barks out a dry laugh when her eyes flit to the sight of your fist. “you’re going to punch me?” she snickers again in disbelief. the sight of her grin makes your fist tighten under her shirt. anger. you felt your anger simmer at cautionary temperatures and slowly branch up in your neck to your face. 

“what did you do to him?” you grit your teeth, breathing slowly to control your emotions. 

it was difficult, because you felt as though she relished at the sight of your anger. she must have recognised your most familiar emotion and felt as though you had shifted back into becoming your old self. you saw it in the way her lips curled, and the way her brows had lifted, and most notably, in the way her eyes paraded a small, tiny, starry glint that conveyed her amusement.

it made you wonder if she was doing this all intentionally. 

just to get a reaction out of you.

just to get something.

“it wasn’t exactly what we did to him,” she smirked. “it was what he did to himself, really.”

“where’s taehyun?” you reach over and slowly comb your fingers through her hair, before closing your fist and grasping a bundle of her strands, jerking her head backwards. “i want him to see your face all battered up. you know, before i beat the living shit out of him, too.” 

she sneers at you. “why don’t you ask heeseung? i’m sure he’ll know exactly where taehyun is.”

you narrow your eyes at her. “what the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“they’re probably together right now.”

heeseung and taehyun? together?

you scoff. “what?”

she stifles a laugh, and there it is again — that glint. like a tiny star amidst a midnight canvas. you could feel the anger grow like an inferno within you. that glint was pestering you; it was almost begging for you to reach over and extinguish it. you grip her hair harsher, this time yanking her head backward. 

she yelps as you pin her down with a glower. “tell me where.” 

she hisses at the pain of your grip on her hair and narrows her eyes. “police station, obviously,” she spat with a glare.

her eyes met yours, where your confusion must have been evident. those midnight eyes turned with patronising pity. “wow,” she remarked sarcastically. “the idiot still hasn’t told you.”

“ryujin,” you lean toward her and hiss slowly, with the intended effect that each syllable augments your hostility, “say one more thing about him and i’ll bash your skull against the cement.”

“now tell me,” you hiss, “what are they doing at the police station?” though your words appeared to be laced with composed venom, the truth remained that your heart had begun to drum. everything was coming at a surprise — you couldn’t imagine what would ever bring heeseung to a police station, though you could enumerate a thousand reasons for taehyun.

“like i said, heeseung did it to himself.” 

not satisfied with her answer, you yank her hair again and this time she attempts to strike you with her free arm, but you grab her wrist and desist her from doing so. she winces when you pull her hair tighter, prompting her to quickly open her mouth and elaborate. “okay, okay!” she cries. “he was the one who agreed to take the drug test for taehyun!”

your lips drop into a frown. “what?”

“then the police found out, okay?” she seethed. “we needed him to come in and deny everything. happy?”

you stopped in confusion. what the hell was she talking about? as you sifted through the many thoughts that raced in your mind, you finally froze when you began to comprehend the situation.

you remember now. it was that day — the day you’d first met heeseung in the school hallway, when taehyun had set his eyes upon and sunken his claws into his latest victim. 

taehyun was a drug user, and when he was finally caught by the school, he was mandated to perform probationary urine tests. he constantly evaded these tests by intimidating somebody into giving him fake samples. this was common practice, and it just so happened that heeseung was his chosen victim the day you two had first met.

heeseung never told you that.

he never told you that he went through with it.

“i mean, maybe if he’d kept his mouth shut or done a better job at peeing in a fucking cup, things wouldn’t be like this. in saying that, whose fault is it really?” ryujin rambled on, rubbing salt to the wound as your anger multiplied. “it was still fun at least. especially when we got to talk about you.” 

your hand balled into a tighter fist.

“me?” you pin her down with a dark gaze. “what the fuck did you say about me?”

she shrugs smugly. you watched as a sly smile slithered to her lips and her eyes pooled with shiny darkness. “nothing that wasn’t true.”

your heart drops to your feet.

“you know, it’s funny,” ryujin stifles a laugh, “because he denied it at first. said that you were…” she lifts her hands and uses her fingers to show quotation marks, “different.” you felt your anxiety pierce and gush into your stomach. “we laughed in his face. different, my ass. you didn’t tell him, did you? that you’re actually as much of a piece of shit as we are. he even called you an angel, you know that?”

angel.

“so we decided to set the record straight and we told him what he had the right to know.” she giggled. “you didn’t forget, did you?”

you stared.

“the letter,” she reminds you. “he was so embarrassed i think that was when he started to cry.”  

you froze.

the letter.

fuck.

you wanted nothing more than to run to heeseung and clarify the misunderstanding as best that you could. you wanted to talk to him. hold him. apologise and tell him you’d never intentionally hurt him. that it was an accident — that you lied, yes, but you just didn’t want him to feel embarrassed at that time. that it was a lapse in judgement.

but for some reason, something holds you back.

anger.

anger holds you back. 

the thing about anger is that while it may be your most familiar emotion, it is also the most paralysing of them all. and when it’s combined with resentment, it becomes insidious. the reality about anger is that it exists only in the absence of control, a dangerous condition to find yourself in.

nevertheless, you feel that way.

you feel out of control. 

helpless. angry. frustrated.

why? because that glint is still there. the gleaming, ostentatious star in her eyes that flounces around in her own delight. mocking you. 

ryujin is staring at you expectantly, anticipating your reaction.

you know that she’s waiting for you to punch her. to show her you prefer fists over words. to show her you have not changed in the slightest. everything she has done is aimed to get a rise out of you; she doesn’t care about anything else but avenging the fact you had tossed your friendship to the side — that you had tossed her aside. 

in this moment, you realise that no matter how hard you try, you know that ryujin has won. she doesn’t even need to try very hard to show you that you will never be able to change into a better person. your efforts have come to naught. even now, you are held by anger; you want it to control you — even if it means reversing everything heeseung had taught you about not acting upon your impulses; about not fighting fire with fire. 

you wonder how heeseung would react if he found out what you’d done today. that you’d allowed anger to override you and that you had already used your hands on ryujin. 

you pushed her, shoved her to the ground and pulled her hair without a second thought.

after all, you’d proven her right — you are still the same person. 

how would he react? 

these very thoughts loosen your grip on ryujin’s collar.

you slowly retract your hands from her, feeling the heaviness inside your chest gnaw at you. why are you stooping to her level? as you swallow and salvage whatever amount of sense you have left, you shake your head and slowly rise to your feet.

if heeseung saw you now, he’d probably be scared.

he’d probably see them in you.

your sudden withdrawal makes ryujin freeze. she seems taken off guard. she watches you suspiciously as you attempt to compose yourself, noticeably irked by your lack of response. “you’re… not going to hit me?” she hesitates, sitting up slowly. 

“ryujin, you and i are done.” you attempt to stabilise your shaky breaths. for some reason, focusing on heeseung helps your mind from spinning. he’s your anchor and when you use him as your moral compass, he brings the clarity you need. “for real this time.”

“what?” ryujin splutters with disbelief. she pauses, openly gawking. “what the fuck?” she scrambles to her feet and storms over toward you before abruptly shoving you into the door — the impact thunders down your spine and instantly releases a grunt from you, head spinning. 

“hit me!” she taunts you by sneering in your face. “i made your little boy cry. hit me.”

“if he wanted me to, i honestly would,” you spit at her. “you should thank him you’re not bleeding out right now.” 

she yells as you storm away from her house and it occurs to you that there’s really only one person you want to see right now.

you want to tell him that he was right.

you are different from ryujin after all.

and you will do whatever it takes to stray further and further away from being anything remotely similar.

‘you never know.’ ‘you might wake up one day and find that the sun is gone.’ ‘and then it’s like, poof — no more sunsets.’

heeseung was right.

the day you two had first met, you laughed and called him a loser for taking photos of the sunset. after all, he was attempting to immortalise something that was already a cosmic promise. 

honestly, you didn’t get it.

what was the point of taking a photo of something he could see every day?

you realise now that he was right all along – it really was possible to wake up one day and find the sun gone.

everybody just has a different idea of what the sun is to them. for you, yours disappeared when you realised heeseung was doing whatever it took to avoid you over the weekend.

your texts were left unanswered. 

calls were sent to voicemail.

he was shutting you out.

you tried to visit his house on sunday morning, but his mother faced you with a regretful smile and asked you not to come in. you didn’t know what else you could do because he seemed to close down every avenue you pursued.

you were so eager on monday morning to see him at school. you were an hour and a half early as you roamed everywhere, attempting to control your nerves. you didn’t know whether or not you should have waited at the school entrance, or by his locker, or just outside the classroom door. 

it didn't matter, because he was late. 

you were already halfway through the day when you had almost given up, though you got your first glimpse of him in days when he had finally showed up.

he looked almost as horrible as you did.

the darkness under his eyes had grown. his brown hair was fluffy and in plain disarray compared to how he usually styled it. his eyes were so puffy that it looked like he’d been crying all weekend, the same way you had. you tried to catch his eyes, but he didn’t return your gaze and instead slid into his desk quietly with his shoulders slumped.

there was a pang in your chest. his appearance made guilt expand within you. 

did you do the impossible? did you break the sun and make it rain? 

when class finished, you waited outside the door and stopped him when he tried to leave. it was only then that he finally looked back at you and you felt your heart stop. it took you all the strength to not cry, so you snaked a hand around his wrist and led the way to the school’s court garden. 

“heeseung,” you faced him when you both stopped at a quiet place inside the open garden. his gaze was affixed to the grass beneath his shoes, so you took a deep breath and let the words flow from your chest.

“heeseung, i’m so sorry for lying to you about the letter.” 

he didn’t reply.

it stung to hear silence on the other end because you weren’t used to it. you were used to heeseung’s warmth; his smiles, his laughs, and the bright stars in his eyes. instead, he seemed to have retreated back into a shell of dejection.

you gulped and fiddled with your hands. “i-i should have told you the truth. ryujin saw it, yes, but it wasn’t because i showed her. i-i just… she was there when i found it in my locker. that’s it. it’s not an excuse for lying, but i promise i would never intentionally embarrass you.”

you waited for his response and still found silence. this was when panic slowly crept up inside you. 

“i-i really fucked up when i lied to you. i just didn’t want to embarrass you, and the more time that went on, the weirder it felt to bring it up. but i should have told you the truth. i’m sorry, heeseung.”

there was a pause before he finally lifted his head.

“stop apologising,” he whispered so gently you almost missed it. 

“wh-what?”

“it was here,” he tucked his bottom lip between his teeth and roamed the area with his eyes. “i-i think it was here when you told me to stop apologising to people. you said i said sorry too much.” 

god, you felt relief in your chest, it felt nice to hear his voice again. you were worried he might never talk to you again.

as you briefly considered his answer, you glanced around and recognised the bench you two had sat on when he’d tried to confess to lia. he was right — it was exactly here that you two had your first real conversation. your stomach twisted. he always remembers everything.

“i’m really sorry for ignoring you over the weekend.” heeseung finally returned your stare, and once your eyes had met, you felt your heart squeeze at the sight of misery in his pretty eyes. you hate the sight of him like this. this must be one of the worst things you’ve ever done. you wanted nothing more than for the rain to stop and the clouds to pave way for your sunshine.

“i-i just needed some space,” he continued gently. “and actually… mom thought it was a better idea for her to take my phone, so i didn’t see your texts.”

“oh,” you replied, noticing the distant tone in his voice. “it’s okay, heeseung. i understand.”

“but, um… i did a lot of thinking,” he says, smiling weakly.

you smiled back, though trepidation edged along your nerves. “o-okay.”

his eyes diverted to the side. “i… i wasn’t sad over the weekend because of the letter. i—” you saw his eyes flicker upwards toward the sky, as though he was attempting to contain his tears. “i-i think… i was just upset because…” he bit on his lips as you watched him deliberate over his next words. your heart was beating faster and faster at the possibility this may be the last conversation you ever have with him. it was selfish, but you didn’t know if that would be manageable for you. 

because even if he didn’t need you, you needed him.

“because i didn’t tell you about taehyun,” his lips fell into a sad frown. “thing is, i… i was really embarrassed about it. and… well, i-i…” he took a deep, shaky breath.

you knew he was gathering as much courage as he could to speak with you.

“i just really, really, really hate embarrassing myself in front of the person that i like.”

he finally looked up at you and everything in you stopped. blood felt like the crackling of lightning in your veins. every other sound seemed to dull into a deafening silence.

“to clarify, th-that’s you. y-you’re the person that i like. a lot. i like you really a lot— that... doesn’t make sense,” he winced at himself, eyes shut tightly. “i’m sorry, i… i sound so stupid right now.” he slumped his shoulders. 

“heeseung, i—”

“wait. p-please let me continue,” he looked up at you through his glasses and you fell straight into his deer-like eyes.

“okay,” you whispered. “go on.” 

“i… i just want to be good enough for you,” he finally admitted and you felt everything around you crash. him? good enough for you? he already was; he was more than enough. you were the one struggling to catch up with him. “be someone you can depend on. someone you can trust and be proud of.”

“heeseung,” you step toward him and clasp his hands with yours, forcing him to look back at you. “you’re right. you really do sound stupid.”

“h-huh?” he peered up at you as you saw panic flicker like disco lights in his eyes. “i-i’m sorry, i… i just wanted to come clean and not lie to you anymore. i’m really sorry for pressuring you, i—”

“no,” you shook your head, silencing him immediately. “it’s not because of that.” 

you dropped his hands and slid yours in the spaces under his arms where you could wrap around his waist and embrace him into a tight hug. he instantly froze while you allowed yourself to melt into him, your face in his chest.

“fuck,” you mumbled against his uniform, inhaling the scent of his laundry powder. “i missed you like crazy.” 

his heart was hammering inside his chest and you squeezed yourself tighter, finding solace in the synchronicity of your beat with his. 

“two days and i felt like i was going insane,” you gripped his blazer tightly, “i… i thought you hated me.” 

“hate you? n-no way…” 

a stupidly wide smile stretched across your lips. slowly, you noticed heeseung was beginning to return your embrace. his arms slowly found their way to your back, and once they rested on your body, you allowed yourself to take a proper breath, engraving memories associated with his scent.

“i like you too, dummy,” you mumbled against the fabric. “ceaselessly. probably way more than you like me.”

“you—”

“yes, me.”

“y-you… you really like me? for real?”

when you release him, his bewildered expression makes you instantly erupt into a fit of laughter. he seems to take this as an indication that you’re messing him because of the way lips return into a point.

“are you kidding?” you scoffed playfully, grabbing his face and cradling it with both hands, his soft skin against yours. “you make it ridiculously easy to.”

“a-are you serious?” he pointed to himself, lashes batting innocently. “you really like me? me? heeseung? you like lee heeseung? you know i’m heeseung, right?”

you stare, astounded by his reaction. “you’re crazy.”

“no, i just told you i’m heeseung,” he deadpanned.

idiot. “yes, heeseung. you. i like you like crazy. it’s sickening how much i do.”

heeseung watched you expressionless for a moment before you watched his face explode with sunshine. speckles of gold dust returned to his eyes and twinkled like constellations. his smile swept his face and instantly made your heart thump out your ears. 

“you’re not lying, right? you really like me? and it’s definitely because of my bowties, right?”

you almost wanted to groan aloud and slap yourself in the face, but you stifled down this desire and shook your head instead. sickening, you thought to yourself. his sunshine is so sickeningly sweet.

and if there’s one thing about you — it’s that you have a sweet tooth; and heeseung is a taste you have been dying to have.

“yes. it’s definitely the bowties. they’re basically chick magnets,” you remarked, a smirk forming. “do you know what happens to chick magnets?”

heeseung quickly shook his head. 

you smiled. “they get devoured.”

heeseung’s brows slightly furrowed, his head tilted to the side in what appeared to be confusion. he blinked, not quite understanding your implication.

“in other words, i’m going to kiss you.” 

that, he understood. 

heeseung’s eyes instantly rounded like saucers. “h-huh?”

“i know you heard me,” you took a step toward him, circling your arms around the back of his neck to ring him in close. he blushed at the proximity, and if you were being honest, so did you.

frankly, you were more nervous than you’d thought you would be. this was the fastest and hardest you’d ever felt your heart beat; it almost threatened to leap up through your throat. 

perhaps it was because heeseung was an expert at annihilating everything you thought you knew about yourself. he was great at that: showing you that you were much further from who you thought you were, and close to who you thought you could never be. there were no more first, second, third, and fourth experiences anymore. just a life before him and after him.

when you felt his breath nearing and the heat from his chest, you thought your head spun for a moment.  it felt as though the distance between your lips were simultaneously the closest and farthest distances apart. it wasn’t until he sighed – a release of just the faintest, softest breath — that the sound swept through your chest like a hurricane, and you felt everything within you topple over.

your whole body sank forward into his and you kissed him. you shut your eyes and did what you feared most — you opened up your heart to him and let everything you had within you flow out so that he could feel every inch of your warmth and sincerity. you led the movement first, noticing the way he tried to mimic your movements. he was slow and uncertain at first, until he followed through with what felt right. 

when he began to kiss you back, it felt like fireworks shattered within you. you instantly softened when he looped his arms around your waist and hugged you tightly, because there was no safer feeling than being in his arms.

you knew it.

heeseung is good at everything he tries. 

when the kiss deepened, you thought he tasted like he fell from the clouds and the stars. like stardust and eternity and endlessness. you liked the taste of that. all you’ve ever known are temporary people, the leaving and the waiting and the hoping, so it makes all the more sense when you crumble and melt at the taste of forever and focus on carving this memory onto your soul. 

you couldn’t deny it any further — you were falling in love with him. in fact, you’d fallen down a slippery slope that led you into a pit with no way of crawling yourself out. 

when your lips pull away, you’re both panting for a proper breath. it isn’t until your eyes meet that the world stops moving and something warm ignites like a candle. 

you allowed time to pass you by as your eyes raked every feature of his face; drinking in his beauty, indulging in the rare moment you were able to admire him so closely. you felt bewitched by the way the sunlight gently radiated his features; they shone through the sky and struck him like a spotlight, even in broad daylight. being this close to him brought forward all of his prettiest, most finely drawn features – the mole on the left side of his lips, his long, wispy lashes, and the slight scrunch of his brows. 

you should’ve stopped, but you couldn’t, because he was prettier the longer you stared.

time slowed while you were slipping further and further into an enchanting spell.

falling.

you always hated that — the sensation of falling. being out of control; being helpless. but somehow, with heeseung it felt different — you were falling through time and space and the stars and the sky and everything in between. it was really beautiful. 

you’ve been falling for days and weeks and what felt like lifetime across lifetimes. you fell until it no longer felt like falling, but flying.

“heeseung, you���re really bad at kissing, you know that?” 

you felt so bad when his entire face fell and he looked at you with complete horror. “wh-what?” 

you placed a finger on his lips to keep him from talking. “since you’re so bad, i think you need a few more lessons,” you smiled. “let’s ditch school and go to back to mine. you know, for education’s sake.” you winked.

heeseung tucked his bottom lip between his teeth, smiling shyly. “o-okay.”

fin.

a/n: and then they went home and watched Star Wars :) ANYWAYS. guys u do not understand I actually went thru 32842378 cycles of frustration, anger, and giddiness while trying to wrap this series up. I'm not lying when I say I have about 6 different versions of this chapter, but I decided to keep it simple and straight to the point because ultimately that's what I felt triage was all about :) if you came here looking for genuine dating tips& got lost im sorry i can’t help u cos I'm in my healing era (subtext: literally no man wants me). but anyways I hope this series brought you a little bit of joy somehow or another. I honestly had the best time writing it ^^ all the best! hope i to see u in my future works too! thanks for reading! love u so much! <3 (also feedback would be vv nice if u have the time!) MWAH

//

[ilwonuu]

"die 4 you" was so good!! (as well as ur other fics ofc) 💞 if youre going to make a part 3 / a finale please make it a happy ending!!!

omg thank you so much😭😭 ily<3 as wanted hehehe here is a part three with a happy ending. i love hannie so bad thank u all for supporting me while writing this!!!

𝖻𝖾𝗌𝗍 𝗉𝖺𝗋𝗍

⇝ 𝗒𝗈𝗈𝗇 𝗃𝖾𝗈𝗇𝗀𝗁𝖺𝗇

read part one & two first<3

❤︎︎ 𝗉𝖺𝗂𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀- 𝖻𝖾𝗌𝗍 𝖿𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖽𝗌 𝗍𝗈 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗌， 𝗇𝗈𝗇𝗂𝖽𝗈𝗅！𝗃𝖾𝗈𝗇𝗀𝗁𝖺𝗇 𝗑 𝖿𝖾𝗆！𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋

❤︎︎ 𝗐𝖺𝗋𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌- 𝗌𝗅𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝖺𝗇𝗀𝗌𝗍， 𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌 𝖼𝗁𝖾𝗈𝗅𝗂𝖾， 𝗄𝗂𝗌𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀， 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗒 𝗆𝖺𝗄𝖾 𝗎𝗉<𝟥， 𝗃𝖾𝗈𝗇𝗀𝗁𝖺𝗇 𝗂𝗌 𝗄𝗂𝗇𝖽𝖺 𝗌𝗐𝖾𝖾𝗍 𝗂𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗉𝖺𝗋𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗈 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗈𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋 𝗉𝖺𝗋𝗍𝗌， 𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌 𝗌𝖾𝗑 𝗄𝗂𝗇𝖽𝖺？？？ ， 𝗁𝖺𝗇𝗇𝗂𝖾 𝗂𝗌 𝗌𝗈 𝖽𝗈𝗐𝗇 𝖻𝖺𝖽， 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 𝖼𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗌， 𝗅𝗆𝗄 𝗐𝗁𝖺�� 𝖾𝗅𝗌𝖾<𝟥

❤︎︎ 𝖺／𝗇- 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝗌𝗈 𝖼𝗎𝗍𝖾 𝗍𝗈 𝗐𝗋𝗂𝗍𝖾，，， 𝖽𝗐𝗐 𝖺 𝗅𝗂𝗍𝗍𝗅𝖾 𝗌𝗆𝗎𝗍 𝖽𝗋𝖺𝖻𝖻𝗅𝖾 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗂𝗌 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗁𝖾𝗁𝖾𝗁𝖾 𝗂 𝗃𝗎𝗌𝗍 𝗐𝖺𝗇𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗋𝗈 𝖻𝖾 𝗆𝖺𝗂𝗇𝗅𝗒 𝖿𝗅𝗎𝖿𝖿 （𝖺𝗅𝗌𝗈 𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝗉𝗋𝗈𝗈𝖿𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽 𝗌𝗋𝗋𝗒<𝟥）

jeonghan was more hurt than your ever thought he would be. you leaving him to be with his best friend? he was so sad. but how could he blame you? he was such a terrible guy towards you these last couple weeks. he drove to your house immediately. he waited for you as long as he needed to until you got home.

he sat in his car waiting for you to pull up with cheol. he can’t even stop for a moment without thinking about you. he can’t hide from his feelings anymore because all it does is eat him alive. he hasn’t told you but being in the situationship was killing him as much as it was hurting you. he was just too good at hiding it.

he was brought out of his thoughts when he seen cheol’s car pull into your driveway. you waved to the boy, thanking him for the ride. he was quick to get out of his car. running to your front door as you opened it.

“jeonghan??? what are you doing here?” you were startled by the other boys appearance.

“please can we talk? i’ve been waiting here for an hour for you.” you look at him a little bit more. he looks like he’s been crying. you slowly nodded at him as he came inside with you.

“first- did you and cheol um- fuck or anything?” the thought was eating him alive. he couldn’t even handle the two of you kissing.

“no jeonghan- i just kissed him to make you jealous. he just took me to get some food. he was comforting me.” he nods slowly as you two sit on your couch.

“so you don’t like him?” his eyes look teary.

“jeonghan- no! i’m in love with you. i don’t even understand why we’re having this conversation- you’re just gonna reject me i know! go home.” you try to get up but jeonghan grabs your hand.

“please don’t walk away. just listen to me.” you sit back down with a sigh. you were really not in the mood for him to tell you he just wants sex.

“i’m so sorry for everything. i thought that if i buried all of my feelings for you i could just forget. i don’t want to bury them anymore. i can’t even- i can’t go a single minute without thinking of you. i want to hold you and kiss you. i don’t want anyone else. how could i? you’re the most perfect girl in the entire world.” he grabs your hands.

“i’m so in love with you. i’m sorry i did all of this when i could’ve just had you the second you told me about your feelings. i’m so fucking stupid. you’re all i need. i know- it might take awhile for you to even begin to forgive me for how i’ve treated you. i want to be your boyfriend- if you still want that of course.” tears were now in your eyes. you let go of his hands to cry in your own hands. you were sobbing. he pulled you into his arms to comfort you.

“i’m so sorry- i don’t want to make you cry. never. i-i love you.” you wrapped your arms around jeonghan with tears still streaming down your eyes.

“i l-love you too- god i hate you.” you laughed a little as you wiped your tears. he smiles at you as he helped you wipe the tears.

“you’re so beautiful- i’m so in love.” you look away from him with a blush.

“shut up. i’m still mad at you- and tired. i’m so tired.” he nods before letting go of you.

“i just wanted to talk to you tonight or i would of died of overthinking.” he stood up before leaving a kiss on your head.

“where are you going?” you asked him as you saw him gathering his keys.

“angel you said you were upset still and tired- i’m gonna go home. i don’t want to overwhelm you.” you shook your head.

“okay of course i’m a little upset. but i want you to stay. please? sleep with me.” he stops in his tracks.

“are you sure?” you nod standing up with him. he nods as he takes his shoes off.

“let’s go to sleep.” you lead him to your room as you quickly change in to comfortable clothes.

“i still have some of your clothes in my closet for you.” he thanks your before changing aswell. you practically jump into your bed. jeonghan trailing behind you and he climbs in next to you. you turn to look at him and he’s already staring right back at you.

“tired hannie?” he nods at you as he sighs. he pulls you to cuddle him.

“i love you. let’s sleep.” you get comfortable in his arms as you murmur i love you. you quickly falling asleep to his slow back rubs.

the next morning was one of the best mornings you had. you woke up to jeonghan’s peaceful snoring. he was so cute. you left a soft kiss on his head. you didn’t want to wake him. you stare at him for awhile waiting for him to get up. you were still making up your mind for what he asked you.

did you want him to be your boyfriend? of course you did but it’s only normal to feel a little nervous. but you trust jeonghan. you don’t know why but you do. last night he seemed genuine and you know he wouldn’t say something like that if he didn’t mean it.

you tried to go back to sleep but you just got lost in your thoughts. you were so deep in your thoughts you didn’t realize jeonghan had woken up and he’s looking at you.

“angel? what are you thinking about?” you looked at him and shook your head.

“i don’t even know. just a bunch of things.” he nods. he pulls you back to him with a smile.

“hannie- i want you to be my boyfriend.” he leans up to look down at you.

“are you sure? you don’t have to decide so soon.” you shake your head.

“you’re all i want. please be my boyfriend. but i will never speak to you again if you hurt me.” you say the last part with a teasing tone but you mean every word. he nods and leans down to kiss you.

“i won’t even begin to think about hurting you ever again. i love you angel.” you blush at the nickname.

you peck his lips again. you quickly turn the kiss more desperate and he just smirks into the kiss.

“you’re needy this early?” you nod as you hide your face in his chest. jeonghan had discarded his shirt in the middle of the night. his bare chest had your head spinning.

“you look so pretty hannie-“ he cuts you off with a kiss as he starts to massage your waist. you moan into the kiss as he sloppily kisses you. he pulls away to peck your neck a couple times. before pulling away from you.

“don’t you think i should tease you just how you did me?” you shake your head.

“you deserved it!” he smiles at you and nods.

“yea- but i’m hungry. let’s eat first yea angel?” you pout at him before he lifts you out of bed.

“you’re so mean! i hate you.” you try to squirm out of his hold.

“i love you even more.” he puts you down and kisses you again.

“you’re lucky you’re cute.” he just smirks at you.

“lets go make food angel and then i’ll give you anything you want okay?” you roll your eyes at him before pulling him to the kitchen. you know he can’t see your face. but if he did he would see the huge smile on your face.

you finally have him the way you want him. you are so in love with yoon jeonghan.

[aachria]

once again writing as im reading yk how it is

You apologizing in the notes for a longer chapter will never fail toget me hyped and sorta nervous 🧍‍♀️

SABO AND LUFFY REUNION I LOVE THEM

"So did you (get taller) , thank you for staying alive long enough for me to know that" aachria the writer that you are 😭 you always manage to make me emotional

Snakebite/fangs sabo my beloved ALSO SEPTUM PIERCING SABO??? HIM HAVING A SHIT TOM OF PIERCINGS??? AACHRIAAAAA. WRITE MORE SABO CHAPTERS AND MY LIFE IS YOURS.

"…Who the fuck picks a prosethetic that looks like Sans from Undertale???? " Sabo the man you are

AACHRIA. PLEASE. IM AT THE "ACE TO BE EXECUTED" PART. WTF. WHAT WHAT WHAT 😭 UHM. I knew my ass was being too hopeful about both of them being there 😕 i shouldn't have trusted you.

If Ace dies. I'll cry. /th. You'll cry too so please don't kill him 🙏‼️

NOOOO ED DONT BLAME YOURSELF ITS NOT UR FAULT YOU WERE LIKE ⅘S DEAD ATP FR

THE VIVRE CARD OMG AACHRIA PL3ASE HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO US HOW COULD YOU 😭😭

"I can’t save him. I can’t save him, I can’t save him I CAN’T SAVE HIM I CAN’T SAVE HIM— " ricky when i catch you Ricky. I dont wanna call this foreshadowing cause that might give you ideas and i predicted quite a bit of stiff right. So i predict Portgas D. Ace will Live.

MONKEY D. LUFFY THE MAN YOU ARE 😭

I want you to know i cried at the Luffy comforting and forgiving Ed part 😕

" “How can you say that?” I croak, trying to find any hint of dissension in his expression. “How can you not believe it?” he counters." 😕😕😕😕😭😭😭😭 you're a bully

ED COWBOY HAT ED COWBOY HAT ED COWBOY HAT OMG IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS BUT IT WOULDVE BEEN BETTER HAD ACE BEEN THE ONE TO GIVE IT TO THEM IN PERSON ANOTHER REMINDER THAT YOU'RE A BULLY. A MEAN MEAN BULLY 😭

ACES NOTE OMG I LOVE HIM SM HE BETTER NOT DIE 😭

" Bit of a shit way to meet and in law but hi" and then no elaboration is so funny 😭

PLANNING FUCK YEAH I ALWAYS LOVE THISE SEQUENCES IN FICS

Did. Did failure make ed forget about the kuma sending everyone away thing? Or are they gonna try to put it off til after marineford??? Or is it just not gonna happen at all???

Ed repeatedly saying "i love competent people" with kore and more intensity 3ach time is so real what a mood

Jonah mentioned 🤭 love to see sabo and ace bonding

ED AND LUFFY PRISON BREAK ED AND LUFFY PRISON BREAK ED AND LUFFY PRISON BREAK ED AND LUFFY PRISON BREAK

"Unquestionably" 🤭🤭🤭

im still worried abt wtf is gonna happen a propos the strawhats separation

Amazing chapter as always excited to see the next chapter that you might post on Wednesday THANK YOU SO MUCH ‼️

GUYS I PROMIE I'M NOT APOLOGIZING I'M MAKING A STATEMENT BECAUSE I'M A BIG CONSISTENCY GIRLIE AND I FIGURE YOU'D LIKE TO KNOW GOING IN THAT IT'LL BE LONGER THAN YOU'D TYPICALLY THINK. LIKE IF YOU THINK YOU CAN READ A CHAPTER BEFORE GOING SOMEWHERE AND DON'T GET TO FINISH BECAUSE IT'S LONGER THAN YOU EXPECED. I DON'T KNOW.

but yeah getting you hyped and nervous is pretty much the intended effect.

I was trying real hard to keep faithful to the feelings from the canon Sabo and Luffy reunion while also not having Ace being DEAD as the driving force of the thanks (the ASL brothers thanking each other is something that can be so personal—) and I'm, if nothing else, content with where it ended up. Fuckin' love those two.

Nothing shows how much you love a character like giving them fucktons of piercings and just generally disregarding their canon design. He is my special little guy and I will make him strange and weird like he deserves and if that included stealing his fucking eye and making it more awesome and also poking a myriad of holes in his face, who's to stop me?

I am terribly trustworthy excuse you. I never said I wasn't going to do terrible things. I asked if you thought I'd do terrible things and I hoped I wouldn't do terrible things, but I never made any promises. Hheh.

I also make no promises not to kill Ace. For the record. But I will cry absolutely.

If there's one thing about Ed, it's that if they're given a chance they will martyr the SHIT out of ANYTHING. Like pookie please your saviour complex is showing.

I was so ready for someone to call out the recurring smoked fish joke like 'hmmmm smoked fish you say kinda of like SMOKE from something BURNING IS IT?!" and then that didn't happen and I felt vindicated. And please when have I ever used foreshadowing before. Doesn't sound like me at all.

Luffy is my hero you GO bestie COMFORT that idiot YEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH—

Look that cowboy hat is fantastic and my catalyst for cowboy Ed, who can only get more cowboy cunty from here. Nothing say pirate quite like a cowboy.

Oh yeah baby Ed is very aware of Kuma. There's a bunch of you shits who were real concerned about them forgetting and to that I say the first little sequence of next chapter was supposed to be on the end of last chapter, but it was already too damn long so I had to split 'er up. It'll make more sense when you read it.

I LOVE COMPOTENT PEOPLE ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ ED AND LUFFY PRISON BREAK ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

Yeah.... the separation.........

Anyway yeah I didn't end up doing to Wed update because I had a bad week but there WILL be one this week ‼️‼️

[mymelodymia]

Hey how u doing? I’m in love with your fics btw they’re like my bedtime stories🥰

I saw that you haven’t written morgan much in ur fics so i have some ideas of a fic (or fics) you might like where y/n & morgan bonding with tony through the years. They’re a lot you can do them as parts or oneshots or one big oneshot it’s up to u really. y/n can be she/her or gn.

-12yo y/n asking tony to hold newborn morgan and he obliged, tears in his eyes watching his firstborn holding his newborn🥹

-4yo morgan & 16yo y/n in morgan’s room having tea party or dressing-up party (or whatever kid-friendly games lol) tony then join them and play along. pepper coming to get them for dinner and see her little family having fun (or one to put makeup on tony and the other style his hair and it’s getting messy haha)

-since pepper out of country for business, tony remains to watch his little troublemakers. But he had a bad day that the house label it ‘daddy’s bad day’. y/n noticed this and telling morgan to draw something to him and give him her best morgan cure ever (hugs). y/n did last remaining assignment as morgan finishes her masterpiece then goes to make hot chocolate for them 3. tony gets emotional about morgan’s drawing and more sappy when she hugs him tight telling him “it’s okay daddy. I love you” *sobs in 3000😭*, y/n sit beside him and hug them both (i mean them on the couch being cuddly comforting their dad🥹) then ends the day with a movie night.

-tony teaching dance to y/n for prom in their living room, morgan busting into them and the 3 dance together with an upbeat music, then morgan asks y/n to dance with her, and tony getting emotional again he’s so proud dad (FRIDAY caught him on 4k crying and sent the footage to pepper and rhodey lol)

-the stark family having an outing after y/n’s graduation, tony reminiscing the old times when y/n was just a baby and being taken care of (tony telling embarrassing toddler y/n moments to morgan. pepper in her Protective Mum Mode telling her kids embarrassing stories about their dad as kind of revenge for her embarrassed eldest *go pep!*)

-y/n being there for morgan’s first school day. morgan being there in y/n’s dorm room putting down boxes. this concept might work as a parallel yk.

one day at night morgan called y/n crying ‘cause she missed her sibling and y/n trying to comfort her😭

-years after all these scenes, the stark family expands with y/n’s little newborn. 12yo morgan asks y/n to hold the baby and tony (the sappy daddy he is) having flashbacks to when y/n holding morgan🥹😭

Yeah, that was a lot lol! idk if you’re busy or smth but if you do pls take your time. and pls tag me on your fics if u don’t mind ofc.

Good times Stark family x stark!reader

Pt 1/5

Summary: all the fun times you had with your little sunshine...morgan

Warnings:

+•°+*°•++•°+*°•++•°+*°•+

You woke up at around 10:17 a.m. you went downstairs and no one was there, you expected your parents to still be sleeping given that pepper was pregnant and tony well...he's tony.

You gobbled down a bowl of cereal and went upstairs to check on your parents, passing by the nursery, you saw all of the pink and white, and the smidgen of grey in there too.

You smiled, picturing your baby sister laying in her crib, or on the changing table, or even just playing with her toys. You were so excited to meet morgan. The baby sister you'd always wanted.

You peeked around the corner into your parents bedroom. But no one was there, you checked the bathrooms, the dining room, the kitchen, the living room, heck you'd even checked the garage. But no one was there.

"Friday? Where is everyone?" You asked the AI, starting to panic. "Pepper has gone into labor and is at the hospital with tony." She stated calmly. "What!? Why didn't they get me up!?" You asked her. And she said....

"Actually, tony has left a message for you explaining this" she said as she played it. "Hey kid, i hope your doing alright. It is your first time home alone, but peps in labor and i didn't want to wake you so happy will pick you up when the time comes. And dont worry, youll be here for the birth. Love you baby" you heard your father tell you from on the voice message, he sounded like he was driving and pepper was maybe holding the phone up so it could hear him properly.

"Well tell happy to come get me! I dont wanna miss my sisters birth!" You said running out as Friday contacted happy, you were putting together a comfy outfit. Making sure your sweatshirt was fluffy so that when you held her, she would feel it. You threw on your sneakers and was out the door.

Happy picked you up, and stepped on it. Which made you think you were in a hurry and might miss it, but luckily, you didn't.

You ran into the hospital room, immediately being greeted with tony and peppers soft eyes. You ran over to pepper, taking her hand in yours. "Hey mamuh, you doing alright?" You asked her, gently caressing her arm.

"Yes, thank you munchkin" that was peppers nickname for you, she loved saying it, and you were determined to pass it down to morgan and possibly your children some day.

"How dilated is she?" You asked looking up at tony. "Shes currently 8 centimeters dilated"

"What?? Oh thank god i didn't hit the snooze button." Everybody chuckled at your joke.

After a while, she was fully dilated and ready to push. The nurses and doctors instructed her on what to do, while you and tony were at her sides cheering her on and comforting her.

"You got this mamuh, there you go! Come on." You and tony kept repeating these words until morgan was officially born <33333333

It took another few minutes for you and tony to be able to hold her though. But when tony held his second daughter on his chest, the man was crying with joy.

Though he was iron man, and acted like he was the Is toughest guy on the planet, he was actually a very delicate flower.

You tapped his shoulder, getting his attention. "Daddy, can i hold her now?" He immediately gave little Mo to pep and folded your arms in the correct way. After he finished this task, he took his baby and placed her gently in her big sisters arms.

You looked down at her and she looked up at you. You both stared into each others eyes for a while. Tonys eyebrows fell back, he felt a tear run down his cheek. He quickly whipped out his phone, holding it sideways he recorded you both for at least 5 minutes straight.

You smiled at her, letting out a small giggle in awe, and she cooed at you. Making you smile bigger, which made her smile, and all of this reminded tony of his first moments with you, as if you were him and she was you, it flashed before his eyes on how fast his little girl was growing up.

He didn't want the same for morgan, he wanted for both of you to stay like this forever. He wasn't going to let the first few months of little Mo's life off of his mind for a long time. He made the mistake with you, and when time went by so fast, he wanted to go back and not mess it up this time. He took an oath to remember these moments with morgan, it didn't matter if he was soothing her cries, or feeding her, or even bathing her. He wasn't going to let any of it go. Ever.

You looked up at tony, who was balling his eyes out. You giggled and leaned to the side to hug him. He began sobbing into you, holding you tight, pep definitely snapped a photo of this >:) she's gonna show it to everyone ehehhehehehehe

+•°+*°•++•°+*°•+

You came into Morgans room, the baby pink walls were covered in her drawings and photos. You sat down at the table that was seven times too small for you.

She was having a tea party with her stuffed animals, her ginormous panda bear plush sat in a chair, along with a elephant pep had gotten her, and a lion you had got for her.

"May i join the tea party m'lady?" You asked her in a strong British accent, "of course madam" she responded, trying her best to recreate the accent. Pretending to pour some tea in a cup in front of you.

you took a plastic cup she just "filled". Making a loud slurping sound. She giggled at this. (I wanna hear it so bad)

She eventually talked you into wearing a giant pink hoop skirt. (Even though she simply asked and you did it because you cant resist those big beautiful little eyes of hers) Which she had a smaller version for her.

after a while, tony walked in and paused seeing his both his daughters on the floor, in giant hoop skirts, having a tea party. A smile danced on his lips.

Morgan ran behind him and shut the door, locking it in the process 😈😈😈

"Wacha doing, and why did morgan just lock the door....wait who taught you to do that?" He said turning to morgan, who had her arms behind her back innocently "i did." You said raising your hand.

Tony eventually joined in on this tea party. And after begging for like 10 minutes, he put on a hoop skirt as well, and you ran out of the bedroom, getting caught on the locked door. And returned with makeup. "Uh-no." He said pointing a finger at you. You gave him puppy dog eyes, and so did morgan "....fine." you and her cheered before high-fiving.

While morgan did his hair in very odd shapes and styles, you did his makeup, badly....like, INTENSE blush. And bright blue eyeshadow. And red lipstick, you know.

Then pepper walked in to inform her family that it was dinner time. But saw all of you in giant skirts, and tony in a the best ponytail you can do with three inches of hair, and a tiara of course 😄 and you doing his makeup.

She chuckled at this, and especially tonys vulnerability to his girls. "Dinners ready, come on" she said before leaving the room. "Dont worry dad you look amazing"

+•°+*°•++•°+*°•+

You had noticed that your father had a pretty bad day at work, and decided to help him out a bit with the help from Morgan.

"Hey mo. Daddy had a rough day at work, and he misses mommy, lets call it 'daddys bad day' and i want you to draw him something with all of your skill, and then give him the best bad day cure ever! hugs" you whispered that last bit to make it more dramatic for her.

She ran across her bedroom to grab her crayons and a few papers, and immediately got to work, creating her best piece yet!

You looked at it, then back at her and high-fived her for her amazing drawing skills. You had the milk on the stove and the chocolate in the microwave being melted. (You really think that you would make him instant hot cocoa on daddys bad day? Didn't think so)

You watched as tony came downstairs from his hot shower, that was long as well. And watched him immediately plop down on the couch, putting his hands over his face.

Morgan climbed onto the couch and tapped his shoulder getting him to look over at her, his hands floating midair.

"I made you something daddy" she said handing him the paper. He took one look at it and immediately smiled, looking back at morgan he saw she was handing him another paper. "And this ones you and mommy" she said pointing at the two people hugging underneath a rainbow in a meadow of flowers.

He was already quite emotional from his hard day, he felt his eyes water. Little Mo noticed this and wrapped her small arms around his neck, squeezing him as hard as she could,

"Its okay daddy...i love you" he let out a small sob and threw his arms around her waist. "I love you too, my sweet girl".

You walked over and sat down on the couch on his opposite side. Setting all three drinks down on the coffee table in front of you. You leaned into him, you and morgan both squeezed the life out of him.

You turned on a movie, and after you finished your drinks, you and morgan passed out in your fathers caring arms.

+•°+*°•++•°+*°•+

A/N: AAAAAAAAAAA! I love writing for morgan so fricking muchhhhh 💕🥰😘🩷 and I'm trying to tag you I swear, it's not workingggg 😭😭😭 this has happened before just give it a few days maybe 🙃

tags

@animealways // @white-wolf-buckaroo // @tonystark-au // @zebralover //

[leegemma]

heeloo! i lov ur fics so much! could your write pls anout lee!chan und ler!felix 9, 36 aaand 49?? thank you so much for ur hardworking, love u!

You people are seriously so sweet, thank you so much for your request and incredibly warm compliment. 😭🥺💗

Enjoy:)

9 -  “you have such a cute laugh!”

36 -  “i didn’t tell you to stop…”

49 -  “be quiet! other people might be able to hear you, you know!”

Disclaimer: By this fic I am ABSOLUTELY not trying to say I think Chan is mean or a bully or anything like that. This is just a fic. I love our five year old kangaroo more than anything.

--------------------------------------

The role of a leader in any situation was never an easy one, but especially when you're leading a bunch of silly kids. And as much as Chan loved the boys, he sometimes really wanted them to focus a bit more during practice and joke a bit less.

So when they were practicing some new choreography and Chan saw everyone messing around instead of doing actual practice, he was a bit annoyed. As he was trying to gather everyone back and getting them back on track, he could sense everyone around him getting a bit frustrated with his attitude.

"Hyung, we were just having some fun." Han tried to explain himself when Chan caught him messing around with Hyunjin.

"Yeah, well this is not the time to have fun." Chan pointed at him to get back into his position.

The group kept practicing,  until a screech was heard from I.N's direction.

Everyone turned to look at the youngest, all laughing at the noise he made. All exept for Chan.

"What happened?" Lee know kept laughing as he threw the question in I.N's direction.

"He keeps poking me!" Jeongin pointed accusingly to Seungmin.

Chan huffed tiredly, he was about to explode. "Hey! I already said this is not the time, you two are being ungrateful and inconsiderate.  Do you want all of us to suck when we go on stage?!"

Everyone stopped laughing, Jeongin slowly lowering his head in shame as Seungmin just stared at their leader in shock. This really wasn't like him.

"Hyung, they were just enjoying themselves, there's nothing wrong with that. Don't take your stress and frustration out on them." Changbin tried to step in as a peacemaker.

"I'm only frustrated because none of you are listening to me!" Chan shook his head in anger.

"We're all listening, but you're just not saying much." Lee know said in a serious but still comforting tone.

"Whatever!" Chan knew they were all right, and he didn't mean to scare the younger boys. But he was extremely stressed and had so much to get done, and it was getting too much for him to burry alone. As he felt all the emotions suddenly at once, he felt the need to cry.

As he didn't want to make the others more concerned, he just stormed out of the room, holding back his tears until he reached an empty studio. He closed the door after him and went in deeper, sitting down on the floor and burrying his face in his knees, letting himself go.

Chan was so deep inside his own head, he didn't even notice Felix slipping in the room until he felt an arm wrapping around him from the back. He didn't even bother lifting his head, only stopping his sobs.

Felix' heart broke at seeing his -practically- older brother finally break down. He hasn't seen him this vounrable in a long time.

Felix just sat there, hugging Chan. Until the older finally lifted his head. Just staring ahead. "Hyung?"

Chan sighed and threw his head back at the sound of the voice of his dear friend. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to shout at the kids like that."

Felix gave him a small smile and shook his head. "They're fine, we all are. We are just worried about you."

Chan groaned. "See... that what I didn't want... you guys should jot be worrying about me, i'm fine. I'll be fine."

Felix rolled his eyes playfully. "We tried to tell you so many times before... you're allowed to feel bad once in a while, you don't always have to be the hero, hyung."

"I just... I'm really sorry. I've just been really stressed." Chan finally admitted.

Felix rubbed his back comfortly. "I know... we all have been. But come and talk to me when you feel that way. Just like I come to you. You can't carry all of this by yourself."

Chan nodded. "I'm really sorry."

Felix  rolled his eyes again. "Stop apologizing!"

"Okay I'm sorrY- Hehehy! Soohohory! Whhait nohoho!" Chan stopped mid apology when felix started wiggling his fingers into his sides.

"I said stop apologizing! But you didn't listen, so now I have to punish you." He explained quickly, running his fingers up and down Chan's abs.

"FEHEHELIX!!! HAHAHA!!" Chan squirmed around.

“You have such a cute laugh!” felix cooed, happy to finally hear the older having fun.

'SHUHHUT HUHUHHP!!" Chan blushed.

Felix giggled along with him and stopped his attack, petting Chan's tummy.

Chan looked up at him in confusion which then turned to emberasment as he looked away and mumbled: “i didn’t tell you to stop…”

Felix blinked twice, confused. And then started beaming, immediately wiggling his fingers again, bringing them to Chan's hips and Armpits.

Chan burst out laughing again. This felt good, and freeing.

"You like this? That's so cute!" Felix cooed.

"SOHOHO DOHOHO YOUHUHU!!" The truth hurts. Or tickles. Whatever.

Now it was Felix's turn to blush. "We're not talking about me right now!"

"WEHHEHELL MAYHYBE WHEHEHE SHOUHULD!!" Chan kept at it.

Felix hissed playfully. "You just don't know when to quit, do you?"

"OKAHAHY! OKAHAHAY! IHIHM SOHOR- NO! IHIHM NOHOT SOHOHRRY!"

Felix laughed and stopped. Letting Chan have a breather before singing: "Channie hyung loves tickles! ~"

Chan slapped his hand onto Felix's mouth softly. “Be quiet! other people might be able to hear you, you know!”

Felix looked behind Chan, a grin forming onto his lips. "Uhm, hyung?"

"Hm?"

"Too late!"

Chan turned around to the voice of Seungmin, who was standing with all the other guys right behind him.

He then turned right back around to Frlix with gritted teeth.

"I am going to kill you."

[yuujispinkhair]

Barrelling into ur inbox to tell u I promise I’m not ignoring ur asks and also I don’t know any fluffy sukuna fics off the top of my head

BUT I did write this little thing for u!! I hope u like it and it’s fluffy enough I tried to keep sukuna at least a little in character while being soft aaa and sorry if u don’t like ice cream lmao

I hope you feel better soon winter my love!!! I’m squeezing u tight and kissing u and fighting away all ur bad feelings 💖✨

You’d been staring at Sukuna for the past fifteen minutes, miserable and pouting and begging for a little attention. Staring might be an exaggeration but it felt like your eyes never left him as he tried to focus on the TV. If you wanted his attention, you know that all you have to do is ask.

Maybe he’s growing soft with you, or maybe he couldn’t stand the uncomfortable nagging that was driving him crazy.

“What do you want?”

It took a little time to become accustomed to the way Sukuna talks to you. Harsh tones and even harder words, he means well even if it doesn’t sound like it.

“Do you love me?” You ask meekly, curling up further into the blanket on your lap.

Sukuna was dumbfounded, *astonished* even for you to have asked such a question.

“What do you mean ‘do I love you’?”

You huff when he doesn’t give you a direct answer, something you should’ve expected. When you don’t give him a response, Sukuna huffs and stands. For a moment you think he’s going to leave, annoyed at your stupid question but instead, he stands beside you on the couch and leans over.

“Who upset you? Hm?” He asks, leaning on his hand on the arm of the couch beside you. “Who do I have to talk to?”

A smile crept onto your face, a small flutter in your heart at his defensiveness. Sadly it’s not that easy.

“No one,” the look on his face tells you he doesn’t believe you. “I swear it’s no one — I just don’t feel lovable, like no one likes me.”

Sukuna scoffs in your face, his other hand grabbing your chin with his palm towards you, a threatening move if it weren’t for the words he whispered shortly after.

“You’re the most lovable person to exist. Anyone who doesn’t like you isn’t worth your time. You have me and all your friends who are grateful to know you.” Sukuna seals his words with a kiss, hard and slightly aggressive in an attempt to show you how serious he is. “I’ll go get you some ice cream.”

He may not be the most affectionate or delicate with words, but you can’t deny that you feel the slightest bit better when he leaves the house.

OH GOD, MELK 💗💗😭😭 This is exactly what I needed!! THANK YOU SO SO MUCH 💗💗😭😭 I am crying so much aaaahh 💗💗😭😭 It sounds completely like him and it really gave me so much comfort!!

I am hugging you 💗💗 This is so sweet of you!! I am sending you lots of love back, and I hope you'll have a good night! I appreciate you so much 💗💗

[racingcore]

OMGGGGG u r making me so excited and scared for the fic lmaoo i can’t wait to read it and cry. angst is literally my favourite thing to consume (there is something wrong with me) so u can imagine my love for ur fic that i haven’t even read

also u should post that paragraph u cut on tumblr afterwards as a little treat for those of us who like to be sad 😭❤️

im 😭😭❤️

hey, there is nothing wrong with you for loving angst. reading angst/hurt/comfort (a mix or one of those) is often comforting, cathartic. It's good, and I am the same as you. it has helped me through a lot.

I love angst, reading and writing. this is my first only hurt and no comfort fic tho. I promise Im good at writing comfort ask my friends!

so u can imagine my love for ur fic that i haven’t even read

Don't make me soft now, give me ideas. loving something before you've even seen it. cuz here I am stressing I'm not going to deliver lmao! going to disappoint you all!

oh, that paragraph is gone. I can rewrite it, it's burned in my memory. like it might not impact you as much as it did to me but yeah I'll try to post it here.

[alphabetboyluvr]

hi Holly. I just want to appreciate u. u don’t have to reply but this is more just a message to you.

I think ur the best person I have a parasocial platonic relationship with. Not only do you write the best stories (my heart beats for BD) but you also are the best most good intentions, good morals, person.

I like that you constantly update us on your work, your thoughts, and other stuff. It’s like you’re the teacher who engages with her students and tells her kids “guys the marks will be released Friday”, doesn’t take a long time to mark, doesn’t bat around the bush, etc. You never alienate your readers which I feel like a lot of other authors do. I love how appreciative you are of ur readers and friends

Also thank you for posting about Palestine. This is what made me wanna write the message. Im currently typing through tears as I just watched a kid cry because he saw the bombing in Gaza. His trauma is already started and he’s just 3. Thank you thank you for being a good soul. A true girls girl. A true citizen who wants the best for her world. I value you a lot. I love that you’re another girl who has big boobs ( I have a H cup girl it’s fucking horrible but I love that I get to be appreciated through ur stories) , thank you for being so creative, thank you for just knocking it out of the park.

U deserve nothing but the best. Please keep your standards high because you are of the highest standard. I love u girl

<3

honestly i could have cried reading this, what a gorgeous display of kindness 😭 thank you so much.

this is a long answer so I'll add a read more haha

I think (in a way) I also have sort of a parasocial relationship with you guys - I'm often shown such generous amounts of love and support and it's a dynamic that I don't really know how to describe. we might not know each other and yet you all see such a huge part of my personality that a lot of people don't. you hear of virgo boy and of the little trips I'm going on and all sorts of intricate details and yet if you were to see me in the street, you'd probably have no clue of who I am 🥲 sometimes I wonder (when I go to army events / bts places) if I'm talking with people who have read my fics but we collectively have no idea. its a strange little life to live, but one that I enjoy.

in regards to Palestine, and the humanitarian crisis in Gaza, I'm deeply horrified by what we're witnessing and am devastated at my government (alongside other western nations) facilitating what's happening. if all I can do is spread awareness or write letter, then you best believe that is what I'll do.

I'm afforded with such kindness that it only feels right I should reciprocate that - I keep you guys updated because it keeps us all happy haha. I love doing teasers and getting that initial reaction from you guys, it's so much fun, honestly. while I write for myself, I'd be a total liar if I said I didn't care for other people's opinions. your input is important to me!!

I've friends in all corners of the world, of all faiths and diverse backgrounds, and the idea of any of them experiencing such horror for the simple fact of where they were born is unthinkable. the people suffering are daughters, sons, husbands, wives, siblings - they are people and they are loved and it is barbaric to see what is happening and not feel strongly about it, in my opinion.

we all deserve the right to safety, freedom and a comfortable living environment. i don't really think my views are that groundbreaking, but I'm glad to know many of you feel the same ♡♡

honestly the big titty agenda part made me laugh so much!! I've been wearing a posture corrector lately cause the girlies have just been a nightmare 🥲 and the titty worship in my stories??? comes from experience!!! you'll find someone who appreciates them, as well as appreciates you, I promise 😭

thank you so much for your message - honestly you've no idea how much it means. have the loveliest day!!!

mwah x

[nuggetbucketsuckit]

this is it i’m starting a series of rants about the same moon shines series so far i have this:

xichen i love u and ur back breaking gigantic heart but that’s risky as fuck please

loving mother madam yu i am here for it yes please

jiang fengmian and wei changze were in love i’m gonna cry

the parallel of past/future wangxian and them hhhhhh

so now the impression i’m getting is they were all in an poly relationship

hands down the best fix it fic ever

wen ning is fucking adorable

the author deserves the world

happy family. a-yuan emits pure joy. amen.

every time meng yao makes an appearance i just go =_= i’m watching u hoe

tears (sad)

hurt/COMFORT

tears (hhhh)

madam yu and jiang cheng are apologising for mistakes they made in a future that they technically didn’t participate in and i have a lot of feelings about it

like on one hand i’m thinking yes wei ying deserves this confrontation because he did go through that hurt

but on the other hand i’m thinking U GUYS TECHNICALLY WERENT THE ONES WHO COMMITED THOSE ACTS THOOO

it’s the way they feel so much guilt that his hurt was caused by them even tho they technically didn’t do it

i’m not saying it’s wrong i just have a lot of feelings about it and it hurts 😭

scratch everything i just said that shit was absolutely necessary for wei ying and i’m glad it happened

ya okay this meng yao is all g he never got to have the resentment he could’ve had. xue yang however 👀

jiang cheng loves his brother and i’m once again crying

wei wuxian is loved. fiercely.

a-yuan might be 3 but he knows what he’s doing and he gets what he wants.

he altered reality, gave up his happy life with a husband and child, saved hundreds of people, because he loved his brother and didn’t want any of that happiness because jiang cheng was miserable. i am: not okay

HE DID ALL THAT EVEN THO HE GENUINELY BELIEVED JIANG CHENG HATED HIM AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[onlyjaeyun]

alright now WHAT THE FUCK? so much shit just happened i need a moment to unpack everything. okay so first of all fashion icon yn ☝️ jay is so proud of u bby. second of all yn is gONNA CO-COACH WITH SUNGHOON? 😨😨 so much stuff is happening i feel like im about to forget smth important from the new chap again but YOOOOO WHY IS SUNGHOON SO SASSY 😭 the sassy men apocalypse is so real 🤕 but pookie calm down pls he keeps eating yn up if i had someone pointing out my daddy issues like that i would straight up cry. ngl if i were in yn’s place i would’ve blocked from the first “what the FUCK” but that’s just me personally 😶 ANYWHO jaemin what the FUCK 😨😨😨 i’m actually so like ?!?!?! he’s so cheating he’s literally actually deadass wallahi fr fr cheating ??????????? like the fucking audacity that some male species have is actually jaw dropping. how r u gonna get all insecure about yn being surrounded by her friends who r practically like her brothers and go “i don’t feel comfortable around them” like WHAT 😨 the self projection is sO REAL. and bby. yn, my love. my angel. my everything. dump his ass i’m begging you. EVEN IF YOU TRULY BELIEVE that u can’t find anyone better and you won’t be able to find anyone after someone as shitty as CH jaems (which u for sure will!!) it’s so much better to be single rather than be with someone who literally does not give a singular flying fuck about you. like girl protect your dignity 🤕🤕 break up with his ass even if he’s the last bf you’ll ever have it’s better than being with someone who’s CHEATING. anywho now that that’s out of the way, really jaemin. jakyung??? REALLY???? ngl the whole hoon & jakyung convo really made me almost throw up the whole time “i can’t study when im tense like this” please do me a favour and suck my dick ew i gen can’t. also WDYM THEYRE GONNA FUCK SO MUCH SOONER THAN ANY OF UR SMAUS? 😨 mamas pls calm down i am not prepared for a hate fucking between yn & hoon (i am. im playing im so seated for it.)

anywho my rant for chap.4 is done and i just wanted to say congratulations zadie !!! you know u ate that smau up SO WELL (especially when it’s supposed to be e2l and the characters are supposed to be hated for character development purposes) when you get anons in ur inbox hating on your work 🥰 like u fr made it and i’m so proud of you ! anyways CH ate. easily one of the best enha smaus in the making with your amazing writing & plot development sending u so much love zadie & so many hugs & kisses i can’t wait to see u piss more ppl off and i can’t wait to see the new CH chapters <333

(no but like genuinely is it that hard to SCROLL AWAY from smth that doesn’t please you? 💀 i don’t get it cuz i’ve seen works that i personally didn’t like yet i never felt the need to go in their inbox and be like “ur shit is so unlikeable dawg what the fuck” because what??? wasting my time like that when i could be searching for a diff fic that i could actually like.

like hello people have different tastes. there might be smth that u don’t like (that one anon) that a different person would gladly eat up (me basically) and there’s absolutely no reason to shit/hate on other people’s works/tastes. ESPECIALLY on tumblr. an app where u get to read literally top quality work for FREE.

and i’m sure so many writers are open for feedback as long as it’s NICE. you can very easily send feedback about a shitty work WHILE appreciating the writer’s effort and hard work spent on it even if the end result didn’t satisfy you. but to straight up go “ur shit is unlikable” IS CRAZY FOR ME 💀💀💀 like pls go into ur notes app or go into ur drafts and write shit that’s “likeable” for u instead of hating on miss zadie 🙏🏼 anywho im sorry this became so long but that was so unnecessary like anon grow up pls you’re better than this

i just want u to know zadie that this is YOUR work. (really want to emphasise this especially after that one ask u got during SB and how it made u pull away from the DDLG concept), the first person that should be satisfied with your works is YOU. if you want to add ddlg pls do if u don’t then don’t if u want to extend the e2l plot in CH please DOOOO these are works and literally universes that you’re creating according to your own liking (and i promise whatever you put out will be amazing because all your works are actually so incredible you’re UNABLE to make smth bad) so pls pls pls add whatever u want !! write whatever you want as long as YOURE satisfied then that’s all that matters ! again love u so much i hope you’re taking care of urself <333

& and always keep your foot down these bitches necks ☝️💯

-⁉️

THERE YOU ARE HI ANGEL BABY 🤭🤭🤭🤍 i hope youve been doing well and are taking good care of yourself !!!!!

gonna try my best and respond to all parts so excuse me pls if i forget any 😭

I ABSOLUTELY AGREEEE. being single is so much better than being with someone like CH!jaems and im afraid ch!y/n's gonna need a while to realise that 🫣 and i know hhe whole jakyung x hoonie part was a little 😞 bc like why would he do that we all know he's madly in love with his enemy (he literally genuinely hates her) but its for the plot i promise 😞😞😞😞

i have also decided to add the smut a little earlier mostly bc i havent properly written smut for hoonie yet and i want to so bad like he's so dreamy and so mean it manes me want to spread my legs and go feral like full on begging and shit so the reason behind the early scheduled smut scene is mostly because of my hunger for sunghoon (jake look away baby)

and the whole not liking a character situation with the E2L is somehhing i struggled with a lot because i 100% agree with you hence the reason i responded the way i did but i genuinely get the nonie bc like thats our hoonie and i make him look so bad BUT I PROMISE ITS FOR THE PLOT 😭😭😭

i will also never get the whole idea of going into someone's inbox and just ranting and complaining when you could just..click away but whatever honestly sto ive accepted that this smau will trigger a LOT of people and i have come to the conclusion that it justa pproves my thoughts of doing what's necessary 🫣

thank you so, so much for your sweet words baby. i do need those reminders every now and then simply because as a writer i tend to get caught up by all the engagement and interactions and asks and comments and the numbers that i tend to forget who i'm writing for in the first place. i hope you know this ask literally means the world to me and i love and appreciate you so so so much, sending you a big kiss rn 🥺☁️🫧🩷

[seiwas]

🤔✨🍰 (do not perceive me having not read yet i got throttled by an idea when i got home and then took a nap)

omg no pressure niku baby!!! it's also a long one... ~9k.... thank you for sending these 💗 get those ideas buzzin and ur nikubrain nappin!!

🤔 What is the hardest part of writing fic?

plot is the hardest omfg but characterisation is also pretty up there hajbfjs my brain is turned over every time i'm writing for a specific character in a specific universe

also very specific but, trying to find the words to convey what you want it to without using the same word that you just used in the previous paragraph and almost every other paragraph back 🥲

✨ Choose three adjectives to complement your own writing.

thematic (bc i like to work with themes a lot!)

subtle (i love writing subtle intimacy!! n i think i fixate a lot on those small subtle moments too!!)

simple (i like reading things that flow easily!! bc of that i try not to use too many big words + paragraphs are always short)

🍰 Name one of your fave comfort fics (doesn’t have to be your all time fave).

gonna share one for each of my boys/comfort characters! u know i love talking abt fics i love 😭 picking just one is hard!!!

gojo: cantor's paradox by @/hawnks always so (pleasantly) surprised when i reread it and find that it's just 3.5k bc it feels so much bigger than that (in a good way!!); if you love gojo and concepts of infinity this is a good one!!

bakugo: here is my hand that will not harm you by @/vampireloverz or anything by @/willowser bkg bodyguard au!! except you're partners instead of him protecting you!! and that dynamic is just *chef's kiss* and it's just around ~7k!

iwaizumi: stoplights by @/hajimio i think back to this fic all the time omf just. please just read it. it's like 1-2k only. i still remember how i felt the first time i read it i-

midoriya: voicemail #01 by @/shibaraki midoriya is my ultimate comfort character!! n i think monty might be one of my favourite writers when it comes to him!! this is a long one (17k) but worth every second!!!

kirishima: now that my broken bones all have healed, i think i'm starting to feel by @/willowser willowser's kiri is also one of my faves! this one is a series but everything they write is gold and guaranteed to make u laugh and cry and smile and ache all at the same time! this is a single parent!reader au hehe

& in honor of shibuya, i'll add one for nanami :')

nanami: this ~1k piece by @gardenofnoah bea's writing is peak comfort!! there's smth about the way she writes it's just so so so beautiful!! and what could be more comforting than domestic nanami!!

☕♡🍞 brunch chats or a midnight snack! ☕♡🍞 pick from any of these ask games: 1 | 2 | 3 and let's talkkkk!!

[riewritten]

what do you do when inspiration suddenly hits you? like do you just memorize it in ur head or note it somewhere or do u work on that idea immediately?? im very very curious about ur creative process PLEASE OVERSHARE because i believe there are things that are new to me. like you write and draw and it's amazing how tou do both! i'm more curious about ur writing process because i don't write much (nowadays i only journal or write diary entries, in the past i did write fanfictions but they're almost all oneshots or unplanned dropped after 2 or 3 chapters). (how) do you plan your storyline? do you consider yourself flexible (like are u comfortable with changing plans in a big project where one change could lead to other changes?). Do you beta read by yourself or is there anyone who does it? if you do it by yourself, what do you feel when re-reading your writings? i literally have sm questions but i don't wanna overwhelm you 😭😭😭 you don't need to answer if you don't want to, that's alright!!!

when u said i could overshare

for whenever the inspiration hits, i tend to start on it immediately. writing is such a mood booster for me and i'm in a low mood most of the time so i seize the moment whenever motivation comes :'D sometimes when i'm busy (let's say school/work) and a great idea pops in (usually in quote format), i just lay it down in my gdocs. for oneshots, 1 doc would suffice. for longfics, the docs per chapter are contained in a folder.

i don't think i'm great in fan arts (i just get the boost from those who draw well—like u!) so i'm glad you appreciate it as well <3

regarding my writing process, someone actually asked me about it before! but to generalize my answer there, i ponder on 3 things (plot, characterization, & chapter study). my first fic (and my first series in general) was dusk in the brightest. i worked on chapter study first: detailed sequence of events from C1-10, vague concept in 11-15, then the rest is just 2-3 sentences of how i want the story to end. the 2nd one, character study, was smth i learned from a professor in one of my subjects when i submitted a one-act play script to her and she heavily criticized my characterization (like so badly i still get jitters remembering it) 😭 since then, i've been very wary with getting things accurate and consistent with my characters. for my plot-heavy fics, that's what i'm most serious for.

i think my flexibility (i dont even think i got that) was v challenged during the last arc of DIB because i suddenly had a complete change of mind with the ending (exactly what u had mentioned: changes that would lead one thing to the other). it was def not comfortable but a great tip (i think) to work around it is that: go back to your earlier chapters, pick up the most random scenarios you had made, then come up with a reason why that random thing ensued. an example of executing it is how isayama worked around aot's first scene (child!eren crying & mikasa being the first one he sees) by connecting it to his last scene in the manga (ofc i wouldn't assume isayama just thought abt it midway. it's just with how he executed it).

i don't have lots of friends in this app so i usually do the revisions all by myself. i'm a type of author that releases chapters impulsively—i'd publish smth that i hadn't proofread yet, read it in the app, then just do all the editing there. i'll repeat the process until i finally get satisfied. i think it's easier for me to point out mistakes when i feel the urgency to do so (like omg i have to hurry in polishing this bc readers might click anytime soon 😭) though someone helped me change POVs (from 1st to 2nd) in DIB C1-13 and let me tell u that i never thought having someone help me beta read my work could bring me so much delight.

and pls don't worry about overwhelming me! using this app and dumping all my work here are literally what keeps me sane from the overwhelming things in my life atm. to have u appreciate it gives me joy & comfort. thats why i'd be honored to answer all of ur questions :'D

[slytherinshua]

ZANNA IM CRYING WHEN I FIRST COME BACK I SEE A JIHOON FIC 😭🫶🏻 which in all honesty made me tear up it was so cute UGH i love tws fluff sm :(((( (i need smth like this for kyungmin/shinyu or js ot6 🙏)

and the fact ppl are talking abt tws i'm so happy 🫶🏻, 🪿 anon I'm talking abt you ily 🫶🏻

anyways hruu zanna 🫶🏻

- 🪩

AWWW IM GLAD U LIKED IT DISCO!! And dw I have so many ot6 things to write!!!!! I’ll work on some of them today and post if I can for sure 🥹🥹🥹 the closest thing to smth like the jihoon fic which was comfort would prob be ur ot6 insomnia req so I’ll see if I can write that today <33

same I’m so glad I have tws anons like not just one but multiple DKDJSK u guys are so amazing and I love talking to you so much <33 honestly I always felt sad I couldn’t have written more for tws back predebut but there rly was no one to read those fics back then.. I’m so happy that now there are ppl to read them and I’m able to write for you guys 🥹🥹

I’m doing okay!!! I just woke up but I might sleep some more once I answer tumblr asks 🦅🦅 wbu???

[ahegato]

Hey ahegato! I hope you are well :) I've just discovered your account and I love your posts (especially the fill you up post and how they act around children which was so cute!!). I was wondering whether you could write about how the brothers and mains are like when its their first time with a female MC who had been a virgin?

I can't wait to read more of your posts!

author note: Oh my gosh, my first request, I’m so nervous and excited!! Pretty fitting that my first request is about something being the first time. I’m sooo sorry that it’s so late, I’ve been balls deep in other fandoms

SUPER IMPORTANT SIDE NOTE: so I decided to do it like this, and I might keep doing that with all requests I receive: I’ll write for the characters requested, BUT I won’t post them all at the same time, or else you guys are gonna have to wait for like 84 years to get the finished product 😭

So instead I’ll post them all individually (UNLESS the headcanons are very short and don’t include fics) and just link the other ones in it when they get finished. that way you guys still get some kind of content every now and then!

[NSFW] Obey Me - fem!MC first time with Mammon

m.list

TW: nsfw, first time sex, loss of virginity, swearing Characters: Mammoney Writer: ahegato

Context:  The MC would probably be pretty nervous since it’s the first time and stuff like that. Idk I lost my virginity when I was like 17 and now I’m really old, so I barely remember it. I just recall worrying about the pain while also knowing it was common, that’s about it lol

You/your pronouns, so basically gender neutral, bUT MC will have female bits.

Anyway, have an awesome day (that’s an order) and I hope you enjoy it!

lucifer (cumming soon) | mammon (ur here) | leviathan | satan | asmodeus | beelzebub (cumming soon) | belphegor (cumming soon) | diavolo (cumming soon) | barbatos (cumming soon) | simeon (cumming soon) | solomon

MAMMON:

turns out that “bad boy mammon” is actually super romantic

huh who knew? literally everyone in the whole devildom

if you weren’t aware of how much of a softie he is, you clearly missed him in the entire story

when he finds out you’re a virgin, he gets a little excited

he’s really going to be your first man, huh?

mammon is incredibly nervous about your first time together

but instead of freezing up and not daring to do anything *cough* levi *cough*, he instead just gets reallllllly sensitive to touch

give him a handjob or oral, he’ll tremble and moan like a pornstar

really just kiss him and he won’t know what to do with himself

he wants you to be in control of the pace to be extra safe, so he’ll ask you to be on top

also because it’s hot, but he won’t tell you that (you’ll figure it out eventually anyway)

you start with both of you sitting up and you on his lap

will at some point take one of your hands and refuse to let go

if you cry from the pain, he’ll instantly go into comfort mode

wrapping his arms around you and stroke your back, telling you that you’re doing great and to just wait for a bit longer

he gets extremely lovey dovey and emotional when he’s about to finish, it’s so obvious that he wouldn’t even have to say anything for you to notice, but he still will

even after finishing, he won’t let go of you

doesn’t matter if you’re all sticky from the sweat, you’re his and he’s yours now

might as well be glued together, because he sure is acting like that’s the case

he feels very embarrassed afterwards because he’s not used to being so vulnerable, so pls reassure him

As you finally sink down onto him, he lets out a long, breathy, high-pitched moan. His nails are pressing into your waist, not so hard to draw blood but enough to turn you on even more. The way you’re squeezing him while sitting on his lap, your hands on his shoulders to support yourself, is addictive. But despite that, what’s taking up the most space in his mind is the love he’s feeling for you, as cheesy as it sounds, and the intimate moment you’re experiencing together. He almost gets a little teary at the thought. However, he gets snapped out of it when you begin to move, lifting yourself off of him before sinking back down again, and he lets out a surprised groan. He looks down between your bodies, watching as his cock disappears into you, moaning at the sight. His hands on your waist travel down to your hips, assisting you in your movements. He never wants to let go of you, and he pulls you closer, leaning over to breathe in your scent, causing his dick to twitch inside of you. Mammon has no shame at this point, he’ll bare his neck for you to bite and suck on. If you don’t get the point he’ll literally beg for it, and if he walks out of there without even a single mark, he’ll whine like a baby. He wants physical proof that he’s yours and you’re his. If you let him mark you, he’ll moan long and high-pitched as he does it. If you mark him, he’s legit whimpering and twitching underneath you. He’s drowning in you, kissing any part of your body that he can reach, meeting your movements with his own, and sometimes just gazing at you with a look of pure love. “MC I... I love you... I love you so much...” he huffs, pulling you as close to him as possible. He looks you in the eyes, mere inches away from each other. “I...I’m about to cum...” As he finally gets pushed over the edge, he sinks you down onto his cock as far as he can, holding onto you tightly as he whimpers words of affection in your ear. Once he’s down from his high, the memories of what he said and did return to his brain, and he gets super flustered. “I-I did not just say all that, ya hear me? Don’t tell anyone!” he stutters, suddenly all worried about this so-called reputation. “Of course I won’t tell anyone! But you did say all that, and I loved it.” you reply with a smile. “Y-you did?” the demon asks, looking back at you with a surprised expression on his face. “Of course I did! I loved seeing this side of you, and I love you.” The blush on his cheeks intensifies, but the demon visibly relaxes, a smile forming on his face in return. He cuddles up to you, fully intending to hold you hostage in his bed for the rest of the night.

✦ 30/11/2023 (Im so sorry lmao) - 16/04/2024 ✦ ahegato ✦

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

not 2 exaggerate or anything but youre my absolute fav writer on tumblr 💥💥💥💥💥 im a big fan of domestic/comfort/simple, warm moments type of genre in fics and your works just rlly scratch that specific itch in my brain. whatever fics u post im like yo.... this is everything im looking for in a fic..... wheres the source from..... r u sucking them out from my brain be honest have u dug a hole already and using me for popularity 🤨🤨🤨 (/J)

might be bc im on my period or wtv but i was gg thru your masterlist ytday night before gg to sleep and i cried while reading "i've alw loved the way you eat," "i dream now of a normal life with you," and "ask me to leave and i'll stay forever." like jfc theres such a specific type of intimacy and soft moments you convey through your words SO WELL i physically feel my heart melting reading them. like UGH esp in "i dream now of a normal life with you" where suguru is just so soft and sappy over reader im just like UGHHHH I WANT SOMEONE TO LOVE ME LIKE THAT AND FOR ME TO RETURN BACK THE SAME LOVE, IF NOT MORE TOO!!!!!!!!!

u get it, u rlly do - honestly u have the best fanon hcs and characterization of suguru i love that man sm so to see him so accurately represented rlly makes me so happy tq for understanding him....... sometimes i see a mischaracterization so bad in a fic i just have to close the app and touch grass LMFAOOOO but u get it.... u rlly do.... never once posted a wrong hc about suguru.... op ur brain <333 u make me so happy i love u sm thanku for creating such beautiful fics i alw come back to reread a bunch of ur stuff, they never get old, it's literally everything im looking for. idc how "boring" hurt/comfort fics r, like even if there's no drama, sometimes simple is best and u do it so, so well thanku op i lov u muacks ❤️

anon ……….

you are . the sweetest in the whole wide world. in the universe. u genuinely don’t UNDERSTAND how big my smile was when i saw this…. melted into a tiny little puddle on the floor

I LOVE YOU….. 🥺🥺🥺 i love you forever and ever and i’m so thankful for your support!!!!! i don’t even know where to begin i’m so overwhelmed pbdkdbdj (AFFECTIONATELY)…. YOU CALLING ME YOUR FAV WRITER? IS SO INSANE??? AND SUCH AN HONOUR????? i cried a bit ngl i’m just. very very thankful T_T but anon.. you can’t expose me like that </3 how am i supposed to get my daily dose of clout if you go around telling ppl abt the ideas i steal directly from your brain???? smh /j ily <3

I’M. just. so unbelievably happy that my writing can mean something to you 😭 and make you feel something!!!! when i hear that ppl cried reading one of my fics i always get so . emotional. it just means so much!! i don’t want you to cry but i’ll accept your tears happily :’3 i hope they were sappy tears and not Sad Tears…..

ON THAT NOTE. THE SAPPINESS. THE SOFTNESS. YES. i’m so happy you could feel it bc most of my fics rlly are just intimacy and nothing else and!! i rlly like writing them that way….. m just happy you enjoyed reading them too :’’’3 i dream, now, of a normal life with you is very near n dear to my heart so!!!! i’m overjoyed that you liked that one in particular 🥺🥺🥺 it just makes me feel so happy and appreciated and . i want to explode a bit. soft sappy sugu is best sugu!! i’m sure you’ll find a love like that some day anon <33 we all deserve it!!

ON THE TOPIC OF SUGU. there truly sincerely is nothing i love hearing more than anons who tell me i do sugu justice. IT MEANS SM TO ME…. he’s so complex and multifaceted and knowing that my own take on him can resonate w anyone makes me soooooo happy…. 🥺🥺 and you saying i have the best characterization of him????? just makes my soul want to ascend. sniffle. thank you!! he’s our golden boy and i love him very much…. honestly i’m way more picky abt gojo than sugu when it comes to mischaracterization but i understand you completely anon…. sometimes i see a take that my brain won’t even let me conceptualize bc i disagree with it so much and then i just have to close my eyes and reboot </3

op ur brain <333 u make me so happy i love u sm thanku for creating such beautiful fics i alw come back to reread a bunch of ur stuff, they never get old, it's literally everything im looking for. idc how "boring" hurt/comfort fics r, like even if there's no drama, sometimes simple is best and u do it so, so well thanku op i lov u muacks ❤️

sorry had to copy paste this bc it made me want to CRY. you make ME so happy hello???? you have no idea the pure amount of endorphins this ask gave to me 😭😭😭 I’M HAPPY I CAN MAKE YOU HAPPY…. you have my whole heart and soul anon atp let’s just get married i think . my heart is yours to keep!!! i can’t tell you how mushy i get knowing there are people out there who read my fics not once but multiple times….. yeah. i’m just. very grateful for you anon <3333 thank you so much for your support and for sending me this lovely ask. i’m gonna be reading it forever n ever !! :((((

[connorsui]

Got myself a giant stack of papers that has become a mini gold file cabinet of its own but this fic be a coffee shot with a dose of depression and hope…all worth $6.95 with a dollar tip ✨️ cuz my beloved this fic might be days old on my list but I have never forgotten about you or the emotions you be bringing me every single day …

You be the shot that is worth every dollar out my wallet 🩷 and gods will I continue to read ur fics all the way

But anywhooo let me say sum about our manz simon tonight cuz although I be wide awake —our husband is finally letting go of his inner child and it's the most beautiful thing I could ever read ✨️ ….

...like I never express fully how I imagined simon standing in the middle of the living room of our new home and slowly releasing one of the most tired sighs this man can muster out of his body …

And slowly …he witnesses his child self …finally acting like a child should …running around the backyard …experiencing the few things he dreamed about …and it had me setting down my cup of tea and think🧍🏻‍♀💔—

like I needed a moment to just listen to this slow jazz in the background as I think of our husband letting go such a big part of himself …

And it made me want to lay in the comforters and cry 🤡

CUZ THE TEARS DID START COMING IN WHEN YOU HAD THE AUDACITY TO PLAY THE END OF US PROPOSING TO HIM 🩷🩷🩷😭 LIKE HELOO!?!? I WAS NOT OKAY AFTER THAT🤡

would you write about how simon and his wife met? moving in together and the proposal? i like the idea of his partner proposing to him but whatever you wanna write is fine to me ilysm take care♥️

Rest

Pairing: Simon Ghost Riley x fem!reader

Summary: Simon lets his inner child rest

a/n: Writing this made me feel insanely emotional. It has not been the best few weeks for me and I really wanted to write for this request. I have never felt loved before, which is why I focused on writing this more about Simon. Everyone deserves to be loved and cared for, which is why this one hit me a little hard, but I'm happy with the outcome. I just wanted to show a bit of an emotional side of Simon, which I was inspired by in my own one-shot, "Mama's Boy." I think the reader being a florist fits perfectly with the whole Daisy thing and Simon's past with his mother, so I went with it. I'm also incredibly sorry that it took so long to write this, but I hope that you'll like it.

Meeting for the first time:

It was peaceful outside. The birds were chirping, while the laughter and chatter of the people could be heard. And that was usually a good thing.

Not hearing gunshots, screams, and explosions should always be good, but somehow it didn't feel that way to Simon.

It had been a week since his last mission had ended and he could go home, but it didn't feel right.

It was hard to describe. The thrill and adrenaline of the missions always kept him awake, while when he had free time, there was nothing to distract him.

And how he wished his thoughts would stop, but they never did.

His mother's birthday was coming up, and even though she was long gone, he still felt that aching in his chest. He wanted to cry and scream, but at the same time it was impossible that this would ever happen.

At the same time, he felt suffocated, but he could still breathe, and that confused him more than anything else. His footsteps took him further down the early morning street while he wasn't even concentrated on his surroundings.

He missed his mother and his family, though the memories weren't really the best, they still held his past self tightly.

Simon always hated himself, especially his younger self. He knew it wasn't his fault, but the guilt remained, almost as if it was tattooed deep into his skin, the ink seeping through every layer.

He wished there was another universe where things would be better, if not for him, then at least for those he had loved and cared about.

And without realizing it, he found himself in a small shop. And how out of place he looked.

The shop was filled with pastel colors, simple and colorful at the same time, while he could smell the different scents of the flowers he was surrounded by.

The daisies were the first to catch his eye. They were his mother's favorite flowers and he still remembered every single thing his mother used to tell him about them and how she always took a few Daisy's home with her.

Simon let out a shaky breath as he suddenly felt hot. He wasn't going to cry and he knew it. He could never cry, not even for those he loved.

"Sir, are you all right?" Hearing the soft voice of a woman, he turned his head until he met the face of the stranger standing behind the counter.

"Everything's fine," Simon rasped out, and only if he knew how much his life would change after this brief interaction.

Moving in together:

"Simon! Did you take the box already?" Your voice echoed through the currently empty room of the house.

"I did," Simon replied as he put the box down. And with that, you nodded and made your way outside to get some of your things.

While you did so, Simon stood in your empty living room. Everything looked so empty, but he could picture it all in his mind.

He could imagine how the two of you would decorate the whole house to make it a comfortable place and somehow it made him feel excited in his chest.

This usual aching feeling in his chest was somehow much better now. It didn't feel suffocating like before, but rather a peaceful feeling.

A few years ago, he would have felt troubled to do anything outside of his job, but now it didn't feel that way anymore.

It was almost as if he was getting closer to having peace. And as if the child of himself was finally outside, enjoying the sunny weather as he ran around the field, finally smiling.

It felt like something was lifting off his shoulders and giving him room to breathe freely.

"You okay?" Your voice made itself heard as you put a hand on his shoulder and looked up at him with a worried look on your face.

Simon just nodded, unable to answer, afraid that his voice would break as soon as a single word left his lips.

And the moment a smile found its way to your lips, Simon was left breathless as the sunlight shone on your face, making you look even more beautiful.

His heart rate increased and that's when he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you.

Proposal:

The weather was fine outside as he looked out the window and saw people walking down the street with smiles on their faces.

Yet he felt restless.

Simon had never felt so nervous, and it reminded him of the time before he had met you.

The suffocating feeling returned as his heart ached, but it wasn't because he was sad or unhappy with you.

It had something to do with the weight in his pocket, and since he'd been carrying it around, he couldn't stop thinking about it.

He finally wanted to do it. To make you his and his alone and he made his decision.

Nodding to himself, Simon tried to stop his discouraging thoughts as he made his way to the kitchen, where you were currently standing, waiting for the pancake to turn out the way you wanted.

But even you were restless. You were deep in thought, but conscious enough to notice Simon as you bit your lip.

You wanted to get it out of your chest, even though you were afraid of how he would react.

Finally coming to your decision, you turned down the heat of the stove as you turned around to look at him.

And there he was, your Simon.

The man you had fallen in love with, the man your heart beat for, and the man you couldn't even imagine living without.

Breathing heavily, you encouraged yourself as you finally pulled out the small red case containing a single ring, just for Simon.

And the moment his eyes looked down to see the case, Simon's eyes widened as you opened it to reveal the wedding band.

"I-" Before you could get out a single word, Simon interrupted you with a swift 'wait' as he pulled out a case of his own.

His fingers opened the case, revealing a beautiful ring to your eyes, which became as wide as his.

Without a word, you closed the red case tightly in the palm of your hand as you threw your arms around his torso, your heart pounding furiously in your chest.

As your arms tightened around him and a small 'yes' left your lips, a single tear rolled down Simon's face.

And with that, the aching in his chest and the suffocating feeling left him as he finally felt free.

He let the troubled child inside of him rest in a peaceful sleep as he held you close to him, never wanting to let go.

Simon didn't even feel an ounce of hatred towards himself, he finally felt like he deserved something he longed for.