#ONE FOOT IN THE GRAVE IM NO LONGER A TEENAGER

[astronnova]

[sunset-of-the-void]

okay ive been trying to organize my thoughts forever and its not exactly working so. i'm just gonna launch things in as short and concise as i can make it so i dont ramble incoherantly forever (/lh)

so,, i'll start with my perception of norton, because by god i think i should think about him more,,,

i'm not gonna touch on his mom because i have no clue what the fuck happened to her honestly, but i think norton's dad has always been kind of. accidentally distant? like in a way you could tell he cared for his son, but there was probably always an air of stress/tiredness about him (similar to norton as he aged) that got worse from the black lung and aging, and also the way that they were never guarenteed to have necessities all the time was something that occupied his mind a lot. (i imagine personally that while the two were never close, norton could understand the reasons why hence choosing to stay by his side once he fell bedridden)

also, while norton probably didn't work in the mines for his entire life, he'd probably do small jobs on the side to help out with funds, especially considering his lack of an (official? authentic?? i cant recall the word im looking for) education in canon, so you know. he's been aware of the concept of money and status for a while i'd assume, even moreso when he starts working in the mines as a teenager (which i'd assume is when his father's illness starts worsening as well) and people there are just. ruthless i'd imagine. considering in his trailer he looks (debatably?) younger than the other men it's probably from both a mix of him being a newer worker and possibly being worse off than them as well plus the stress on him having to be the only provider for two people, one of which is ill as well, as a teenager proobably doesnt help much with the situation either...... i've not much to add other than this, though touching on his personality in the manor, despite being reserved and a liittle grumpy he is very sweet once you get past the walls he put up! he's the type of person to help someone who needs it (albeit he may make a show of being reluctant about it) but he does know what its like to struggle and how much a helping hand could mean to someone. he's still very empathetic in my mind :]

very very briefly onto andrew because if i dont limit myself this will be soo much longer. but i'll try not to get too excited and i'll cut out most of his life (pretty much all of it up to about laz cemetary)

so basically andrew also had similar situations being born in poverty, while norton managed to gain financial security as he became a prospector (i think?) andrew didnt really. get that at all. even when working with laz (if he did, there wouldnt be a reason to be tempted by grave robbing, right???) and i personally assume people would price gouge him for the sake of him being "impure" or whatever, so even with the pay from mikhail/percy it never really lasted quite long enough,,,,

andrew only left after getting caught by marshall, and fled immediately after the (accidental) murder. (to summarize it shortly andrew panicked and stabbed him a few times with the shovel and then accidentally buried him while he was still alive in a nearby patch of dirt) and he showed up to the manor with. practically nothing. he had a change of clothes, his shovel, and some trinkets that were dear to him, and to me he kind of traveled on foot the nearly whole time to the manor (using the funds he had left from the final deal of the "slabs" to take a train as far as he could with the money)

so now like.. the actual current important thing (sorry dhsjdjfj......)

once andrew shows up to the manor he's in ah. generally pretty bad shape. and people kind of have one of two reactions of either "wow this guys one of the stranger ones" or "this guy needs. a lot of help" (depending on how you look at it) and norton kind of realizes almost immediately from andrew's general anxious demeanour and gaunt figure that he has nothing going for him, so why would he make that worse?? plus in the manor norton kind of gravitates away from nobility/aristocracy i believe and andrew is very. noticably not either of those, andrew is just grateful that norton's not reacting negatively to his very presence and he puts a lot of trust in norton. (like, norton gets a fuck ton of life stories that luca and emil dont hear about) im working on a fic of their first technical interaction and im not sure if i'll ever finish it since ive been stewing it since like.. april but they're cute to me

Hello! Very excited to read through this

To be honest i dont think norton's mom is mentioned like ever. At least in nothing i personally have read. I do agree that hia family would have been distant. They were in living in poverty and it puts a strain on anyone much less a family. To me it aids in norton's cutthroat nature of just having a life of anything but the suffering of poverty.

I would love to read the fic once you finish it! I really like andrew and norton getting each other as they have both been ostracized from society for being poor and then for Andrew being albino! I was going to have a lot more to say but i dont think it would have added much to this. I will be marinating on thoughts for this thank you so much for the ramble friend!

[smutsonian]

Memoir - What You Don’t Know Series (2/6)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: remembering your past

Warning/s: flashbacks, angst, deaths, car crash, drunk driving, not proofread

Word Count: 1.9k

A/N: i added a character. im thinking of timothee chalamet as Elio. If you’ve watched Call me by your name, elio aint that young here. Y/N and Elio is in their 20s :3 this chapter is focused on what happened to y/n before she started actin up

Series Masterlist

Previous Chapter

For you, home doesn’t mean a house that you lived in so you can sleep, eat, shower, and whatnot. You always believed that a home was being with someone you love and loves you back. A home is with the person or people that you feel most safe and comfortable with. You only had two people for that matter. It used to be only one person but Steve happened. Home for you was with your father or with Steve. It doesn’t make any sense now because one is dead and one turned out to be a major asshole. 

Maybe that’s why you’re currently sitting on your father’s grave. Maybe that’s why you left New York so you can grieve to your father’s grave. Doesn’t matter if he’s dead. He’s always been there for you and you would never fail to believe that he’ll still be there for you even if he’s dead. 

You have always been a daddy’s girl. Your mother was the one who works for the family while your father is a house husband. The two of you were inseparable, always up to no good and your mother would always chastise the both of you but your father would calm her down and the three of you would just spend the time with each other. It was a picture-perfect family… Until it was not. A car accident. A fucking drunk driver. A guy stupid enough to drive a fucking car under the influence of alcohol. Your father was going to pick you up from a skating session at the ice rink but he never made it. The drunk bastard was going so fucking fast that the impact killed your father in an instant. Just like that. Just one blink and your father’s life is taken away from him. 

Your father has always been your rock but when he died, your life went to shit. Your relationship with your mom wasn’t there if your father isn’t in the picture. The two of you would only have the chance to interact because of the picnics that your father would prepare whenever your mom gets a day off from the hospital. Being a doctor takes a ton of your time, you guessed. But that’s it. You never had the chance to have a one on one with her until your father died. It didn’t end well...

[Flashback]

I can’t believe this. He’s dead. He’s really dead. Why? Why?!

“You need to save him!” you yelled at your mom but she only shook her head, eyes glassy with unshed tears.

“Y/N… He’s gone. I did my best. I want him alive as much as you do but life can be full of surprises. May it be a good one or a bad one.” She makes a move to embrace me but I slap her hands away, still not believing anything of this. Not believing the words coming out of her mouth.

“Don’t fucking talk to me like I’m one of your patients.” You hissed at her. Why isn’t she hurting like you were? Did she not care for him at all?

“Don’t talk to me like that, young lady. I’m still your mother-”

“Are you? Are you really? You never acted like one-” You couldn’t finish your sentence because of a stinging pain you felt on your right cheek. She just slapped you... 

“You don’t get to tell me that.” Her voice was raising and you could see her face contorting into an angry one.

“You don’t get to act like you're the only one here who’s affected by his death. He’s my fucking husband, for fuck’s sake. I’ve been with him longer than you have and you… You just have to fucking take those shitty ice skating classes and for what? I don’t see why he’s so keen on supporting you with that. Look what it got him. He’s fucking dead because of you and your stupid classes.” Her voice was laced with so much distaste that you almost flinched at it. She was seething and it was all directed towards you. Your mother being disgusted by you wasn’t what broke you but her words did. The idea, no. The fact that you’re the reason for your father’s death is what broke you.

You eyed your mother with surprised and guilty eyes and made a step back away from her, shaking your head as the tears escaped your eyes. Your mother’s face morphed into a guilty one and she went to reach for you but you stepped further away.

“No.” You hissed.

“Don’t fucking touch me. Don’t fucking come near me ever again. I fucking hate you!” And with that, you run out of the hospital. Leaving your parents without looking back. 

[End of the flashback]

Looking back at it now, you knew that you acted a bit out of hand and were being really selfish with your mother. You weren’t the only one who lost a family. Yeah, you lost your father but she lost her husband. She lost the guy that he fell in love with. They’ve been together for a long time and it must really suck to lose your lover. But you were a kid who’s mourning her father’s death and she definitely shouldn’t have put the blame on you. It fucked with your brain a lot. Like a lot. Having your mother tell you that you’re the reason for your father’s death deals great damage to a person. Especially a teenager.

Having your father die when you’re young also deals damage to you. You don’t know if it was your father’s death that made you crave older men’s approval or something but you know that his death gave you some kind of daddy issues. Putting yourself in situations with older men because of it, making you even more fucked up. 

Craving their approval is unhealthy and can be dangerous if you find yourself with someone who’s manipulative because they can use that to take you for granted. It doesn’t really matter anymore because every single one you dated turned out to be the same type of people. Everyone used you and threw you out after they had their fill. Every single one of them. You thought Steve would be different but that one stung like a bitch. The way he treated you like a child… Those hurtful words that he used… Maybe he’s right. If it keeps happening to you, maybe the problem is you.

Maybe you’re still that kid that liked seeing his father proud of her and the moment that you failed to do that anymore because he died… Maybe you’re just stuck at that. You’re so hung up on making your father proud that you jumped on the chance of making every single older man proud of you. Nevermind them taking you for granted. You’re too blinded by your determination to fill that empty hole inside your heart to even notice.

“Hey, graveyard neighbor!” 

Too occupied with your own thoughts, you don’t see the guy from beside your father’s grave until he calls out to you. You turned to see a young man sitting just a few feet away from you, one hand waving at you while the other was supporting his weight as he leaned back. Loose curls falling down his forehead as he smiled and nodded at you.

“I’ve never seen you around here. Though, I only ever started going here last month…” he mumbles, scratching his chin as he seems to be deep in thought.

“Is that your father?” He points towards your father’s headstone. You looked at him with a questioning look before nodding, turning your head to run your eyes over the stone. You never really got the chance to go to his funeral or to visit his grave because you ran away from your mother. You were too proud to be caught running back to her so you didn’t risk visiting your father. Come to think of it now, you’ve been really immature. You still are… According to Steve, you’re no woman. You’re just a little girl with a lot of issues.

You felt something touch your side and you were once again pulled out of your thoughts by the guy who found himself sitting beside you.

“According to your face, he seemed like a great guy.” He gives you a playful smile that you return. “He is… He was. He really was.” You nodded before hugging your knees and resting your chin on it.

“Your father?” Your voice was quiet as you pointed towards the headstone that was beside your father’s.

He nodded before standing up and slapping his father’s headstone. “Yep. The old man died last month. I always warned him about eating too much sugar but the old man never listened. Always saying shit about living what’s left of his life freely.” He chuckled before rubbing his palms on his jeans and offering you a hand.

“I’m Elio” 

You took his hands and shook it before standing up. “Y/N.” You give him a polite smile. 

“Nice to meet you, Y/N. So, how come I’ve never seen you here before?” He asked with a tilt of the head and a teasing smile. 

“I’m from New York. Just visiting here for some time.” You shrugged. How long were you even planning on staying here? You don’t really have a place here. And you for sure don’t want to see your mother. Not yet, at least.

“New York, huh? I have a small job there but I’ll be staying here for some time too. Gotta mourn my pop’s death with my ma.” He chuckles at his own words before shaking his head and poking his forehead slightly and smiling wildly at you.

“How do you feel about coffee? My treat.” He grins.

Elio seems like a fun guy to hang around with and he’s been nothing but nice. He seems about someone your age too so there’s no issue there… It can be a good distraction from real life. Having a friend sounds really nice right now and Elio has one of the friendliest smiles that you can’t help but agree to his offer to get some coffee.

Steve knew he messed up. He was so scared that you would actually leave him for real but the moment he stepped foot on your shared apartment, he felt somewhat relieved. All your things were still there. He knew you didn’t have a lot so he’s confident that you would come back. You didn’t have anyone else. He knows that you need him. He knows how you’re codependent to him. As selfish as it sounds, he’s thankful for that side of you. He’s thankful that you’re somehow messed up like that because that assures him that you’ll never leave his side. No matter how bad your fight was. You’ll come back to him. You always will.

Seconds. Hours. Days. Weeks have passed but you’re still nowhere to be found. You still haven’t come home to Steve and he’s starting to think that he may actually have done it. Where would you even go without him? Have you found another old man to cling onto? Steve knows he has no right to be mad. It’s his fault. He’s so used to being the righteous Captain America that he couldn’t believe the fact that he would be able to make a mistake. He couldn’t believe that he made a mistake with you. He just wanted to help you and be there for you but he failed. His confidence is gone and the realization hits him. You were gone and you might actually not come back. 

And it’s all his fault.

[qweeby]

Nine Lives To Short Part 5: The Good

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Paring: Shinsou x Reader!

Genre: Angst

Taglist: @foxypuppy @bakuhoetoedoroki

Plot: You only have 9 days to tell him how you feel but maybe 9 days just isn't enough

After basically spending the entire day at your house interrogating your parents Aizawa finally steps out of your house with his phone to his ear.

" Hey Mic you can finally come pick me now I'm still at the Y/n house hold" after saying that he holds his phone away from his face waiting for Mic to yell like always "YEAHHHHHHH YOU GOT IT SHO! I'LL BE THERE FASTER THAN ALLMIGHT CAN SAY IM AM HERE".

"Just stop yelling, and hurry up" Aizawa hangs up the phone and looks across the street to sees Shinsou standing on the sidewalk looking down.

(" What did you stupid kids do now...")The teacher thinks to himself.

Instead of doing literally anything else to get Hitoshi's attention like calling out his name or you know crossing the street to talk to him.

Aizawa being Aizawa throws his cloth across the street and miraculously wraps around Shinsou pulling him to the ground.

"OW! What the-! I-isnt this Sensei's binding..CLOTH!?"

Aizawa pulls on his scarf slowly pulling Hitoshi to his side of the street pretty much reeling him in like a fish.

" WHAT THE HELL AIZAWA!"

"Oh hey looks like I got your attention"

"THIS HOW YOU GET PEOPLE'S ATTENTION?!"

" I saw you where moping and I didn't wanna ruin your teenager sad mood"

A car starts to drive up the street really really fast TO FAST "AIZAWA IF YOU DON'T REEL ME IN FASTER IM GONNA DIE!".

" Then STOP SQUIRMING!"

Aizawa yanks on his cloth pulling Hitoshi out of the street before the car can hit, but he gets send straight into a tree.

" Oops... I must've miscalculated how hard to pull you"

Hitoshi rubbing his head quietly remarks "Nooooo you think"

Then in quick succession Aizawa ties Shinsou up to the tree he crashed into.

" AIZAWA SERIOUSLY WHAT'S WRONG WIT-"

"Hitoshi I don't wanna hear you whine tell me what's wrong and what happened"

"I-....I left y/n on our date"

Aizawa leans in Shinsou face "A DATE?!"

"Yeah it was a date and we brought Bakugou along"

Aizawa overreacts and yells "BAKUGOU!?! Don't tell you left because he was taking your spotlight! I SWEAR YOU RECKLESS KIDS AND YOUR TEEN DRAMA!".

"No it wasn't nothing like that! I left because I just couldn't handle anymore secrets".

" Secrets?.....ah so she told you huh"

Hitoshi looks up at his teacher his eyes are dead like how the once beautiful night sky turned into a cloudy disaster of pouring rain.

"She said....I'll be the reason for her death... is that true?"

HONK !

HONK !

HONK!

" HEYYYYYYY SHOOOO!!!!" Present Mic pulls up in his car rapidly honking the horn. Aizawa turns around and snaps at the ridiculously LOUD pro hero "HIZASHI SHUT UP!"

He gets out the and tip toes slowly towards Aizawa and whispers " Sorry Eraser I'll be quiet form now on I promise....WHY IS SHINSOU ALL TIED UP!"

" He was just telling me something important before you interrupted".

Shinsou starts to laugh at himself " It's HaHa! So funny! To think I could be a hero HA! with a quirk like this I'm better off being just a twisted monster....just another murder in society".

Mic places his hand on Shinsou's shoulder " Hey come on cheer up don't think like that". Eraser Head steps on Shinsou's face," So you're giving up just like that you look pathetic".

" Sho! Get your foot out of his face!"

"Giving up isn't ever a answer! Why are acting like she's dead now right now you should be with her at her side cause every second with her matters every second is a gift".

He moves his foot from Shinsou's face.

"You understand right"

Shinsou stands up, as Present Mic unties him "Yes I understand but what are we gonna do?"

He picks up the cloth giving it to his superior "Tomorrow after school you and Y/n are to come to the teachers lounge I have a crazy idea.

-The next day-

You wake up in your bed and your body feels, as sore than ever before "Ughhh Come on it's nothing but a little sting just get up"

"Maybe your body won't let you"

" Oh yes it will you little fur ball watch this!"

You jump out of your bed stretching "Ha! See my body only listen to me so suck it Yokai!.

You look down at your legs to see that same mist from the hospital room sworn around them then suddenly they begin to shake.

"What did you do"

" Oh nothing just making your legs give up on you it's only a matter of time before they give up on you completely"

"YOU WHAT!"

You throw a pillow at Yokai put it phases right through him "Have fun walking to school you fool".

.

.

.

You try your best to go through out you day ignoring the pain in your legs. For the whole day you do Hitoshi until after school.

Shinsou walks up to your desk knocking on it .

" Hey Cat"

"Hm? HITOSHI?! Where have you bee all day?"

"Teachers lounge with Present Mic we were watching Eri you wanna come with?"

You stand up pushing your chair in "Yeah I can finally meet Eri I know Izuku been talking about her a lot".

You and Hitoshi walk to the teachers lounge the both of you trying not make things awkward after what happened last night.

" So how was the date with Katsuki?"

"It was actually pretty fun but...I really wish you were there....HITOSHI IM REALLY SORRY ABOUT EVERYTHING I SAID!"

Hitoshi puts his hands in his pockets "You're not the only one who should be apologizing... I didn't mean to leave like that or snap at you like that! I promise it will never happen again!".

The both of you finally reach the teachers lounge but before you go in Shinsou puts his arms around you "So....are we cool?"

You kiss Hitoshi on his big forehead "Yeah we're cool".

The door flies open " See Mic I told Hitoshi was at the door....oh" Eri looks up at the both of you " Hitoshi I thought you said you were getting a friend not your girlfriend".

Shinsou blushes really hard " ERI WHO EVEN TAUGHT YOU THAT! D-DONT GO AROUND SAY THINGS LIKE THAT"

" But Lemillion said that about Deku when he brought his girlfriend the balloon girl "

"DEKU DOESN'T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND AND DON'T CALL URARAKA A BALLOON!"

You cover your face hiding your embarrassment wanting to die "Ughhhhh......".

Aizawa walks into the room shoving you and and Shinsou into the room .

"Out of the way we have work to do".

" We have work to do?"

Aizawa crouches down rubbing Eri's head "Yes we do but it's mostly for you Y/n We wanna use Eri's quirk on you"

.

.

.

" What..."

"Eri's quirk let's her rewind a person's body back to a previous state so what if we rewind your body to the point where your quirk didn't manifest"

"OK THAT'S GREAT NEWS LETS GO IT RIGHT NOW LIKE RIGHT RIGHT NOW" You say jumping up and down.

Aizawa hits on the head "Listen kid...alot of things can happen moving forward"

"One Eri rewimds your body and everything is fine for a while"

"Two Eri rewinds your body and you turn into nothing but dust"

"Or three you declined the offer completely".

Why were there even three options when it was already clear what your decision would be. "I'll take the risk".

" DON'T YOU DARE!"

Both you and the cat exchange glances "YOU FOOL I'LL JUST COME BACK YOU KNOW THIS RIGHT! AND WHEN I DO I'LL MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL!"

You walk towards Eri reaching your hand out to touch her horn

"You already do Yokai"

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.

.

.

With your days rewind and your life no longer in jeopardy maybe things can finally go your way. But as the the good ends eventually comes the bad.

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"NO! NO! NO! I WON'T GO AWAY THAT EASILY!"

As Eri's powers shocks your body causing you intense pain Yokai's body slowly faded "DO YOU KNOW WHAT I AM!?! I AM WHAT WILL SEND YOU TO YOUR GRAVE! THE GRIM REAPER! NO ONE CAN ESCAPE THEIR DEATHS!"

You see Yokai's hands consume your body " H-HITOSHI!" you scream until there's nothing but black.

Aizawa uses his quirk on Eri stopping her from killing you, "Y/N!?! Hey are you ok!"

Hitoshi holds you up, as started to lean on him.

......

You stand up straight looking at everyone in the room smiling, as you say.

"Never better Hitoshi...."

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Next Chapter...The Bad....