#OK no I've done well on the sober front

[loveireandblog]

always rly loved the line n desperation of "wanna change my clothes! my hair! my face!" in the envisioning beauty of Dancing in the Dark

[ladyshrike]

The Four Times You Say His Full Name

Am I any good at writing? Not really. It's all over the place in my opinion, but I had to get this thought out one way or another.

The four times you called him by his full name.

This first time you called him "Kenji" instead of a nickname, was back in LA. You were working a wedding up in Griffith Park, a beautiful little affair under the strawberry moon. It's all the witchy vibes you adore, a little wedding mixed with a baby shower, good vibes, blessings and tides. They'd offered you some food, which you wouldn't turn down as a known foodie, and that was when you got the call.

Ken had been riding home from the party in the hills and crashed his bike. He wasn't too far from Griffith, that had been the good part of taking this job, and he's been taken to Silver lake, a quick drive from the park. The couple is understanding, eventually becoming good friends with her later on, but that's a story for another time. She's racing through the streets, down the hills and to the hospital. They hadn't given you much information, just that he'd crashed and where he was. And when you get there, you ask the charge nurse for him, only to feel his arms throw themselves around your shoulders, a slightly pointed chin resting atop your head. You immediately smell the alcohol, and it's almost instant that a rage fills your chest.

"Babe! Baby! Sweetcakes~"

It takes everything, and you mean everything, not to implode then and there. You look at the nurse in front of you and take small controlled breaths.

"Is he free to go home?"

He was, having been checked over and kept under observation for two hours before they called her. According to her it's just some bad scrapes and bruises, no contusions or anything super bad, he had actually been wearing his helmet at least, just not his jacket. His bike is totaled, helmet cracked, it really is surprising that he didn't have a concussion at the very least, but through even your anger and worry, you're glad he's ok.

You drive him home, and the way there is silent. He'd sensed something was up the way you were being so cold with him, pushing his hand off your thigh, turning your head when he tried to kiss your lips, avoiding eye contact with you. And when you guys get to your shared home, and you help him in, is it the only time since the hospital that you look him in the eyes.

He sees it immediately. That rage that's practically sobering for him. The hurt. Disappointment.

It's not the only time he's ever done this, and he's not particularly tempted to tell you those two words he just knows would just set you off even if it were true.

"Mina, emergency vital check."

The floating AI robot scans him as she stands there for a moment, looking over him herself. The tension so palpable, if she chose to raise a hand at him in her frustration, she could very well slap him with it. But that wasn't her. She was the sweetest thing, practically a Disney princess, so the anger in her eyes is surprising, and new.

"He has two deep road rash injuries, and a large scrape down his side that isn't as bad as the other two. No fractures and no concussion. I suggest monitoring for any latent signs."

"Get him hooked up to a banana bag, then look up flights to Japan."

He shouldn't try to joke, or anything, but the soft scoff leaves his lips before he could stop it.

"Japan? We goin-"

"We, are not going anywhere. I'm going home to see my dad. Maybe we'll talk. Maybe we won't."

His small smile falls, a slight wince given when the IV is put in.

"Is something...is he ok?"

You shoot him a look because you know he's smart enough to understand what you were saying. You didn't want to say it, but you were done. With the empty promises, the lies, the hospital visits. You were done with it.

"Sabine-"

"Kenji, I'm done, ok? I've had it."

And there it is. He thought his parents splitting up was the worst pain, but seeing you stand at the doorway, teary eyed in anger and barely breathing steady, it shatters his heart because he can see it. You are done.

"I only ever asked you for two things. Two. And I am grateful you can at least follow one. I'll give you that, you have never cheated on me and I thank you for that. But if you constantly break this one? Constantly do this shit? How do I know that'll last?"

"H-hey, hold on-"

"No, I am done. I love you. I love your mom. You two are...the only people I consider myself close to here, but I cannot deal with this anymore. I can't deal with thinking one day I'm gonna get a call and have to identify your corpse instead of picking you up from an ER."

"It's just a couple scratches, I'm fine-"

He's done it now. He's said it.

"Forget it."

She grabs her wallet, and just her wallet. It's the only thing in her bag that she's bought herself as her bag had been a gift from him. She heads out and he tries to follow her, not able to get to her before she's speeding out of the driveway. She feels like a hypocrite, because while she isn't drunk, she is speeding like she's a NASCAR driver, and in a residential no less. She doesn't care to look at the time when she arrives at the airport, hoping to find at least one flight outbound to Japan soon. The car can stay in the parking structure for all she cares at this point, he would get a call to pick it up at the end of the month, if she decides not to come back. Her phone vibrates incessantly in her pocket for a bit, even as she's paying for the ticket she's managed to snag so last minute. Her passport is always in her wallet, so she doesn't particularly worry about how she'd get there without it. She turns her phone off, and soon enough, she's on the plane, watching LAX turn into a massive black splotch with dozens of tiny lights speckled across it in almost neat lines, as the plane departs. She's glad for the little privacy her seat offers her in first class. It's a long flight, the seats recline into a bed and everyone has their headphones on, so she isn't particularly worried that they'll hear her already quiet broken sobs.

By the end of the month, your mind is made up. You'd started accepting his calls sometime in the middle of his season. You know you shouldn't have been watching the games, it would only make the hurt worse, but it was better than ignoring him completely. And that wasn't really possible when you get notifications about him on all your social media, all which say he's in a slump and you are nowhere to be seen at his games. Everyday since you'd left, there had been a voicemail. Apologies, checking in messages, more apologies, declarations of love, and to your utmost surprise, a recording of his introduction at an AA meeting. That one particularly stuck with her. Everyday, roughly at 8 pm, a call and a voicemail with his introduction.

Maybe that was why you started taking his calls. Maybe that was why his game was getting better, back to what he usually is at. His averages get better and you, for the most part, find your anger having dissipated. By the end of the month, you're hesitantly standing in his living room as he tries to clean up the bit of clutter he had around. His shirt rides up a little and you see it. The slight scarring from the massive scrape down his side. Your lips quivers and he stops completely, dead in his tracks. He's startled by the sight of those huge wet tears that build in your eyes and his arms are around you instantly, tightly wound to prove he was ok. That he was still there. He was safe.

You cry again that night, held in his arms. He misses the game the next day. He has his thirty day chip to show you after all, and he doesn't want to leave your side to make up for lost time. He swears a promise not to do it ever again. Drink and ride he means. He isn't an alcoholic, and the AA meetings were necessary to get his license back, but he wanted her to see he regretted his decisions wholeheartedly.

The second time you said his full name was at your wedding. A year from the date he proposed to you, rather clichely you'd admit, at your monthly trip to Disneyland. The team had won a game, they were given a PR trip to Disneyland and she was an annual pass holder. She met them there, and during the cavalcade with them, he stepped off as they got to the castle, where she stood watching, and he popped the question, on one knee with a simple little ring she had spotted in a jewelry store. The team, having been in on it, cheering them on when she tearfully said yes.

Now she stands at the alter, in a gorgeous dress that fits her like a glove, his mother as her maid of Honor, and her dad as his best man because let's be honest, he thought of him as a son at this point, the way his mom thought of her as her own daughter in the time they'd all known each other, and the ceremony is relatively small, less than fifty guests, very intimate.

It's during her vows, her promises to him and vice versa that she says it. Beautifully charming smile on those lovely glossy lips of hers.

"I, Sabine Baji, take you, Kenji Sato, as my husband. Through sickness and in health, through the good times and the bad, till death do us part."

It's the sweet and short of her vows, tearfully said as her emotions run rampant. The rest of the night spent energetically celebrating.

The third time is a little more...non PG.

It's off season, he's been training here and there, enjoying some time off in their big house up in the hills. She's spending the weekend babysitting between gigs and she's been...quiet. Maybe it was the fact that she was around them so often. Maybe, it was the fact that her friends just had a little one she was watching currently, that clung to her so jealously when Kenji came around for a cuddle too. Maybe she was ovulating. The exact cause of this scenario was a blur to her really. She just recalled, well, he recalled and told her it was how it went down. Swears by it that she, as the family was driving away with the baby, fast asleep curled up in a hoodie it wouldn't let go or give back, that she looked up at him and said it.

"Kenji." It's the first time in a long time that she says his name, so he worries maybe he did something wrong again without noticing, but the look in your eyes in determined, is heated...pleading. "I want a baby."

The night didn't end for you two there. You both lost count somewhere after three, overstimulated and yet continuing like bunnies in heat. You blame the baby fever, and maybe the wine during lunch, but the venture is fruitful two months later, when four pink lines, two on each stick, and the word 'Pregnant' in bold on the digital test are laid before you two on the bathroom counter.

The same counter he would quickly have you laying against as he spread your thighs open wider, held you closer, got a little rougher with his thrusts, aiming to make the baby in you twins, according to him. Something not fruitful, unfortunately for him, but enjoyable at least.

And that takes us to the fourth and perhaps not final time you ever say his name.

Seven months later, you feel like a ship. The little peanut, you two so kindly nicknamed the baby while looking for a name, kicking around, shifting about, giving you some of the most ravenous cravings you'd ever had. Braxton Hicks, you came to be brutally informed of when waking in the middle of the night in a labor scare, had finally died off.

Or so you had thought.

When the first stab of pain shot through your side, you'd simply grimaced and sighed, shifting on the couch during the somewhat humid autumn day. You had decided to stay the Halloween weekend in, instead of going to a party while you felt like a boat. Kenji immediately notes the discomfort and tries to help.

"You want your little heart ice pack?"

You shake your head, yawning softly because yeah, it hurt, but you were too tired. You just wanted to go to sleep already.

"Ngh...no...just wanna go sleep already...come with me?"

How could he say no? He takes your hand when you ask for help getting up, and you both feel it. The sudden rush of water on your legs, his slippers. Your face is beet red and he's confused for all of two seconds before he's scrambling for the "go" bag. A Dodger duffle bag that the team's wives/significant others had decorated for them. He'd filled it with extra clothes for them, babies first outfits, washed in baby detergent, and a picture of his mom and her dad, both who couldn't be there today. You groan in annoyance because that was your favorite rug now covered in amniotic fluid, and now you would probably stain the carseats because you were not about to try and change your pants in active labor.

(Kenji had that covered, gingerly pulling your panties and pants off and helping you out new ones on, after cleaning you up with a damp towel after all. Kiss to your belly and all.)

You say it, however, sixteen hours into active labor. Minutes before midnight, almost Halloween day, like your baby wanted to share a birthday with you, which you would never mind as long as you get to hold her. It's when a particularly sharp labor pain hits that you yell it, gripping his hand so tightly you swear you hear his hand crack.

It's angry, and pained, and you swear, just after saying his full government name, that you would make him feel how this felt. No amount of epidural helped this pain, no amount of Lamaze Breathing or doulas helped prepare her or take this pain any better. She'd find a way for him to carry and birth the next one even if she'd have to become a mad scientist. She isn't good with pain already and this isn't helping.

"Kenji Sato! You are having the next one, got I-ngh!!!GOT IT?!"

He just about passed out when they announce you're crowning, because for some gods forsaken reason, he decides to look beyond the blue sheet. It's a horror he will never forget, and he swears he won't put you through another round of whatever your anatomy was doing to push yours and his little princess out of you.

And then she's there.

She's in your arms first, he's busy gathering his emotions as they cut the umbilical cord for him, and you need the first few minutes of skin to skin with her before she has to get cleaned up and given her first dose of vaccines. He holds her after, eyes bleary with tears as he does so so gingerly. He doesn't want to hurt her, doesn't want to accidentally harm her tiny little fragile body. She's a perfect amalgamation of you two. His eyes, a grayish blue, but the rest, he will happily and readily proudly admit, is all your looks. Tousled full head of soft pinky fuschia hair, eyebrows to match, rosy cheeks and little pouty lips. He swears, on everything he loves, she smiles when he is told to do skin to skin with her as well. When she curls into his warmth while you are cleaned up by the nurses. And when you two are able to take her home, when you are given the all clear and she passes her car seat test, and you three are finally back in your house, settling her down in her side sleeper by your bed, it's clear that the few times you use his full name can be bad, but most of them?

They're worth it.

[bunny-1111]

Matteo Riddle angst - Us on Repeat

Description: Matteo gets jealous and possessive over reader at a party after they've broken up

Angst/slight fluff ish /// only roughly edited

Warnings: swearing, no smut, but sexual innuendo, toxic relationship, alcohol

Music blasted.

Alchool spilt.

Dancing bodies spun

You occupied the dancefloor with some guy you had met tonight when a familiar frame knocked your date unsteady.

Matteo smirked helping your date back on his feet "shit man sorry, well now that I'm here I'm gonna have to steal my girl so a second, yeah? He initiated

"Your girl?" you questioned

"its a phrase, whats wrong with it?" He saying coming closer

"sure, if I was your girl, but I'm not." You stated trying so seem soberer than you really are

"You know you're my girl, I know you're my girl, so does your pathetic date, he knows it too" He said, coming closer to you he began "That guy, he was real close to you"

"Well, he's my date. He's supposed to be close; in fact, where has he gone?" looking around, huffing at the fact that Matteo successfully scared him off.

He grabbed the bottom of your chin with his fingers pulling your face inches away from his, "Who gives a fuck where he went, I'm here now" he said looking deeply into your eyes.

Looking so intenstly that you felt like you couldn't breathe

"Stop looking at me like that," you said head pounding, it was so hot in the room, so crowed, it was getting harder to take a proper breath in, Matteo studied your face, watched as you began to crumble in front of him

"Come on, we're leaving", grabbing your hand and dragging you out

When he got you alone in the hallway, he asked "You can breath, ok?"

"Yeah" you said, pulling yourself together, before you could, you feel Matteo push you towards the wall "I've got a few ways of making you gasp for air, if that's what you need" He smirked,

You pushed him off you "No Matteo" now standing next to him

"You never complained before" "Yeah, well, things changed. I changed"

"I remember the girl you were all too well" "Right, reminisce all you want, Matteo. Cling to the memory because that's all you ever have of me" you manage

"Wrong again, Darling" he started pulling you close "we need each other, you and I" he continues

"Fuck you, Matteo, why do you do this to me? When will you be done involving me in your bullshit, HUH?" you spat out.

his eyes darkened, inching closer lips making their way to your ear as he whispered "You don't hate it at all, that's your problem"

"you're my problem," you said weakly

"I know baby, you get so angry at me, yeah, because I push your buttons, because I can't watch you be with anyone else, my girl" he chucked as he undid the top buttons of your skirt.

"How can you be with girls in front of me, Teo, but hit any guy that nears me" you huff out

"those girls are nothing alright, forget about em'. and for the guys, No ones gonna touch whats mine" he grits

"So I have to hurt while a girl's tongue is down your throat, fuck you, you asshole I'm done" you say, throwing your head back

"Well, you don't seem very done, baby. You're letting me touch you, talk to you, and sneak you away. You're so far from done," he smiles.

"I'm gonna go back to my date, and I'm gonna let him fuck me tonight" You said with confidence

His hand on your waist tighten, "Over my dead fucking body" he said jaw clenched "You're staying with me" he continued eyes darkening

"I know you haven't let anyone touch you since we broke up. It's staying that way, or someone dies," he stated

"what about you Mattoeo, what have you done, who have you done" You say through the hurt

"lets not talk about it" he said quickly

"Tell me the truth or I'll never speak to you again" you insisted

He huffed in frustration. "I've seen a few girls, alright? Are you happy"

"did you enjoy it?" you qestioned, heart hurting inside

"why the fuck are you worried about what I do after we break up?" he replied back

"I don't want you with girls the same way you don't want me with guys" you admitted

"I know, I see it in your eyes, everytime you see me with someone, I hear it in your voice too, we're the same, just as jealous as each other" he smiled

"you know, you're never touching me again, not after you touch another girl," you said seriously

He threw his head back in frustration. "You're not gonna punish me for what happened during a breakup, please", he whined, coming close again

"Stop acting like we're back together" you fought

"Then stop acting like my girlfriend. Can't be upset at me if you're not mine", he said

"I'm what? Not yours, great, I'll go sort myself out then." starting to walk off, he gripped your wrist pulling you back in your place, when you slammed your body back against the wall you looked up at him and cried.

"I'm too drunk for this ok, too tired for these games, we can't keep doing this every weekend, what do you want, to get back together, what are you fighting for Matteo" you sniffled through your tears

he didn't reply at first, just stared at you, taking a moment to really wonder what he wanted, he realised his grip on your wrist instead pulling you into a hug "Of course I want us back together alright?" he said hiding his face in your neck "You know I've got a fucked way of showing it" he admitted

you took a deep breath in, he felt it

"I'm sorry, sweet girl, alright? I love you, let's do this right, again, tell me you love me too, tell me we're gonna try," he pleaded

"you know how toxic we are, right," you said back, not moving.

He chucked softly, moving back to kiss your forehead, then resting his chin on the top of your head. "Yeah baby, I know, we'll fix each other up eventually", he admitted swiftly

"I love you" you said, he looked down at you pulling your face close to his "Say it again" he smiled

"i love you Matteo" you rushed out

"Don't forget it. We love each other more than anyone else will,"

"What now Teo?" You look up into his eyes

"I'll show you exactly what now", he practically growled out

...

part two coming soon - my first Matteo fic go easy on me. Xx

[kawaiianimekitten]

Obey me x reader

He scares you/ accidentally-ish makes you fear him

Lucifer pt. 2

Warnings: hurt/comfort, slight angst?, not proofread, cussing, mention of drinking and drunk character

Part 1 here

_________________________________________

(first person - MC/reader)

It's been a few weeks since my interaction with Lucifer. I've been avoiding him with the plague. I don't want to face him, and his pride would never allow him to approach me first.

Maybe I should approach him first. What if we never talk again? What am I going to do? Being here will be so awkward. How am I supposed to avoid him for a lot longer? What-

"Hey. Stop overthinking." Mammon interrupts my thoughts. "I can see it on yer face. It ain't yer fault. It's my bastard of a brother's fault. So tell yer brain to shuddup."

I nod, feeling a little embarrassed that the brothers tend to be good at telling what I'm thinking.

I lean closer to Mammon. Currently Mammon, Belphie and I are the only ones here, so we're all in my room, watching a show. I'm leaning on Mammon while Belphie is laying on my lap.

"Mmm, Lucifer sucks, don't let him get to you." Belphie grumbles, barely awake. He cuddles closer to you. "If you want, I could be an extra big pain to him for you?"

"No, it's ok Belphie." You reply, running your hands through his hair. He hums before falling back asleep.

We've watched a whole season now and I'm starting to doze off. I'm almost asleep. It's just so comforta-

Bam

I shoot up, immediately awake. Which makes Belphie grumble. I gently move him off my lap and me and Mammon go to check out the noise. I peek my head out the door and stare dumbfounded.

"M-Mc-" Lucifer slurs, obviously drunk. "I-I needa say sommm..." He mumbles off. Seems he had just taken a big fall, causing the sound that woke me.

Mammon glares at him, standing in front of me protectivly. "The Fuck ya want with MC?"

Now it's Lucifer's turn to glare at Mammon. "Watch your *hic* language."

The tension is so thick. I step in between them, breaking their glares. "Well, since it seems no one's hurt and there's no emergency, I guess we can go back now, Mams."

"Wait!" Lucifer grabs my arm, turning me around. He's pouting. Meaning he's hella drunk. "Wanna Wanna *hic* wanna talk..."

I sigh, knowing he won't be able to get back to his room without help and knowing he won't leave without talking to me. "Mams, could you and Belphie get everything ready for us to sleep while I take Mr Drunk Off His Ass here to his room and get him all situated?"

He looks very against it but agrees, also knowing Lucifer won't leave without speaking to me and can't get to his room.

I wrap one of Lucifer's arms around me and wrap my arm around his waist. "C'mon, I'll take you to your room." I say as I start walking.

The walk there is silent, except for some hickups and slurred mumbling from Lucifer.

I set him on his bed and go to grab a trashcan, but get stopped by a hand holding my wrist once again.

"What is it Luc- ah!" I get pulled to Lucifer, probably with more force than he intended. He easily catches me, even in his drunken state, and sits me on his lap with his arms around my torso.

"M-MC, I *hic* needa tell you..." He looks everywhere but you. "I..."

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. "I shouldn't have done that to you... I know you were only trying to *hic* trying to help like now..."

"Yup." I agree coldly, still upset about what he did. "Now, could you let me go so I can grab you water, a light snack and a trashcan?"

He looks uncharacteristically like a kicked puppy, but let's me go. I feel a little bad, but I have to get him situated before listening to his drunk ass.

After making him sip some water, eat some food, splash a bit of water on his face, grabbing him a trashcan and some meds, I think I got everything he needs for now. He's definitely not sober, but also definitely not as drunk as he was before.

"MC... Please..." He speaks so quietly I almost don't hear him.

"hm?" He gently grabs my hand and motions for me to sit down.

After sitting next to him he turns to me, taking another deep breath.

"I .. I'm... Fuck MC..." He seems to think for a moment before just blurting out. "I'm sorry!"

I blink, surprised. He doesn't usually say sorry and when he does, he doesn't say it as sincerely as he just did.

"Look... I know my actions were inexcusable, so I won't try to make excuses... I just hope you'll forgive me... I can't stand not having you here with me every day. I hate you avoiding me, and I've missed your gorgeous/handsome voice so much. I just beg of you to not avoid me anymore... And I hope to earn enough of your forgiveness for us to go back to normal, of as close to normal as possible." He gives my hands a gentle squeeze before reluctantly letting go.

I just sit there processing what he said for a few moments. Once everything goes through, though, I immediately hug him tightly, which he quickly, yet hesitantly returns.

"I don't think I can forgive you much at the moment... But I do appreciate your apology... And I'm willing to give you another chance." I feel him exhale before feeling tears drop on my head.

Alarmed, I try to look up at him, but he holds my head close to him. "Thank you... I'll do my best to earn your trust and forgiveness."

It's been a month since that interaction, and I've fully forgiven him. I do sometimes still flinch, but besides that, I'm back to normal. Something that hasn't gone back to normal and that I hope never goes back to normal, is the time, attention and affection I get from Lucifer.

Since that night, he's kept his word and then some. He has really done his best to earn my trust and forgiveness. He's also been making sure to make more time for me, even with his busy work. He's also been more affectionate. Sometimes when we're alone in his room, he'll take his gloves off and hold my hand with one and relaxingly run his fingers across any showing skin. It feels really nice.

"Sweetie, I have something for you." I turn to see my demon dressed casually while holding flowers and chocolate.

"Thanks Luci." I smile and take the gifts.

"I was hoping maybe you'd like to watch a movie in my room later? You can pick the movie and I'll have your favorite snacks, the fluffy blanket and the stuffed animal you like." He's smiling softly while listing off the perfect movie date night.

"hmm... Let me think..." I say to tease him for a moment before I softly kiss him on the lips. "Of course. I'd love to."

_________________________________________

I hope you all enjoyed reading this ❤️

@zarakem

@snoww-drop

[physicsgoblin]

Ugh so I am not happy with how my @inklings-challenge story is turning out. I like the idea, don't think it's executed the best and it's not done, but I want to publish some of it anyway. Maybe sharing some of it will help. This as been a great exercise so far for me though. Any feedback is appreciated.

I fully intend to rework this into something bigger. I've got other ideas...

Anyway. Here is part of Strange Gods.

Look, you won’t be hearing telling this story at any other time, but it’s a party and I’m a little drunk. You know how it is, after almost everyone’s gone home, it’s late August and the air’s warm but it’s almost midnight and it’s got that coolness in the air, plastic chairs are huddled around a dying fire and it’s only the friends that are closer than brothers. The heart’s nocturnal. I guess this is when it comes out.

So here we are and I’ll tell you. I’ll tell you and I don’t care what you think. Well. I guess that’s not true. I don’t know if we did the right thing. But you’re not the one we have to answer to.

Since Brad brought you in with us, I guess you know we used to be a band. Strange Gods. Ever heard of it? Well, little before your time. We were never big. Mostly local shows and Metal Fests. Opened for some bigger names a couple times. We had fun, we had hair longer than our girlfriends’ and sometimes more makeup then them too. Mostly we were just guys in jeans and T-shirts with a passion for music. We fancied ourselves artists. My wife calls music “the art most like divinity”. Like how God could just speak and His words obeyed and music is a little like that. Ours was more like a sneeze than divine speech maybe but she loved it still. I still play for her, sometimes.

Oh the best part was the fans. The girls. You know how it is. You’re kinda weird in high school, a little awkward, but then you start strumming on a guitar, you say oh yeah I play drums in a band and suddenly you’re doing ok.

The worst part? The fans. We weren’t too big, but you’d get recognized every now and again. Sometimes it was all cool, just talking about music and shit. Other times people got a little weird. They thought oh, here’s someone famous, and then you’re almost not human to them anymore. But it was usually alright. And there was one in particular that I—none of us—will ever forget.

The kid was a local. Not much younger than us, but a hell of a lot more awkward. It was alright though. He wore these glasses and those kinds of shirts with full moons and yellow-eyed wolves scattered on the front and he’d sort of talk at the ground instead of at you and he loved the fact that a lot of our songs were based on local history and legend—half-hanged witches, wolves with a thirst for human flesh in winter, earth that won’t accept the dead—a lot of what you’d expect. Well this kid’s name was…I’ll call him Louis. Louis met us at Outer Realms (you know that pub on 114th?) after a very small gig, but we hadn’t been in Strange Gods for very long, so even small gigs were celebrated. Maybe we would have been more weirded out by this kid kinda staring and shyly shuffling up to us if we were sober but you know what, it was ok. Jason even let him have one of his guitar picks and we got him a beer, which he accepted enthusiastically but didn’t drink once. He said he loved having someone write songs about all the stories his dad told him as a kid. He said if we wanted more inspiration, he could help us. He collected stories, he said, the ones you whispered at sleepovers and summer camps, the ones that changed a little bit every time you told them, the ones almost nobody really believed. And we were like, hell yeah brother. That’s how Louis became our consultant for lyrics. Winter Walker, Thy Iron Refine, and Dance at the Bottom of the Sea all had songs with lyrics by him. But he never wanted credit, never wanted his name listed on the albums. He just seemed content to hang out at our house and tell us stories. Whenever we went on tour he would ask us to collect legends of the cities we visited. Brad told him he was welcome to join us but he just smiled at the ground and shook his head. He liked it here. Why would anyone ever want to leave?

Louis was friends with us for almost two years. He even spent Thanksgiving and Christmas with us since he didn’t have anyone else since his dad had died. He worked two part-time jobs, one at Seeny’s Pizza Arcade and one at the post office sorting letters, but most evenings and weekends he would come join us, sometimes bringing over a new boardgame all the way from Europe or a home-baked apple-pie (this guy could bake). Or he’d go on long walks wandering in the woods and fields outside town.

One day in November Louis didn’t show up for our usual Saturday night jam. We were working on the song Night Rite for the album that ended up being Seven Red Seeds and he was supposed to show up and work on lyrics with me and Jason. We were supposed to be filming a music video to go along with the new release and that was pretty exciting. But the kid never showed. We shrugged it off. After all, he was a bit of a loner. Besides us he didn’t seem to have any friends. He took long walks, sometimes after midnight.

Yeah. I’ll have to answer for not looking a little harder sooner.

Brad tried calling him Sunday with no pick-up. We drove down to the house that he rented from Mrs. Ozeki, but she said he want out on one of his little tramps at around 4pm yesterday, but she hadn’t heard him come in.

No, it’s alright. I’m fine, I’m just getting a little too sober I guess. I mean it’s not alright but it has to be.

We reported his disappearance after checking in with his work and learning he didn’t show up there either. The police investigated us, briefly. We were basically the only people he hung out with and maybe all the songs about murdered kings and lost whaling ships freaked them out a bit. Ultimately they ruled us out. They ruled almost everything out.

Brad, Jason, and I were all volunteers for when they swept the woods in long lines looking for scraps of clothing, his glasses, anything. I remember us all looking at each other, thinking the same thing, but Jason was the only one who said it out loud. He said, I don’t want to be the one to find his body.

The most they found when they swept the woods was his camera. Someone else had found it and we never got to see what exactly was on the film. Someone clearly has. The newspapers speculated about if it had held any clues, but any questions for the Sheriffs department was met with a “we do not believe the photographs from the victim’s camera hold any information about what led to his disappearance.” Yeah, bullshit. We heard stories around about most of the pictures just being of the few remaining winter robins, which Louis loved. And then everyone had a different version of what was on the last three. Some said close shots of a man in a red windbreaker. Some said blurry images of a great white wolf like the legends.

But the one that we all thought sounded the most real, was that of a field. You know the one near the old Pressfield cemetery? Photos of seemingly nothing but brown grass and gray skies but in the distance what looks like an enormous black bird flying near the ground. And over the last few photographs, the thing gets closer and closer, until the last picture is a smeared mess of Louis turning around, I guess to run. I don’t know for sure though. I pray to Christ I never do.

What we saw was enough.

In the end the case ran absolutely cold. They had nothing. If some psycho got him, he left no trace. If he got hurt and died of exposure, where was the body? If an animal got him, where was the blood and torn clothing? He sure as hell didn’t just ditch town out the blue.

We took a little time off from everything. It just didn’t feel right, you know, writing about death and ghost stories when our weird little friend had just become one. I’ll always wonder. If he thought, you know, this is fitting. To become what I have always chased. God I’m still drunk. Of course not. You don’t think about all the badness you write songs about until you can’t even bury someone’s son.

His uncle and a few cousins came down to collect his things and clear everything up. The oldest cousin met with us a few times, let us know that she was glad Louis had had some people here after his dad had passed away. She invited us to the little funeral they had at Salve Regina Church. Brad almost didn’t go. He gave in eventually but he sat in the back and didn’t stay afterward. No, I’d never been until then. There were moments, you know, moments where I forgot why we were there and the strange chants and the candles and the silence dropped over you like heavy night and bright day and I remember looking at the wrinkled man in black and gold and thinking, this is crazy and I think I’m wanting to be crazy too.

The priests shook our hands as we left and spoke to us about Louis and about how he would pray for us and ask the other Fathers to pray for us too. And they nodded and smiled gravely and the taller one, Father Nicholas, said, we will be happy to see you next Sunday. And Jason said we’d think about it.

Eventually we had to get going with life again. Things felt a little more somber. I mean really somber, not this adolescent misery we’d been playing with. We stopped going to Outer Realms after every work day, Brad flushed all our weed. It just felt cheap. Jason spent more time with his little sisters during his free time, Brad flew back to Chicago for a few days during Christmas to spend it with his parents. Me? I hung around. My future wife was here and that’s where I wanted to be.

It was mid-February when our producer started kicking us to get back into finishing our songs and making the music video that had been put on hold. And you know I guess without really discussing it, we knew what we wanted to do.

Dies Irae isn’t our most famous song, but I don’t care, it’s our best. When we talked it over with our producer, we drew a hard line: Pressfield cemetery. That old one where they found that kid’s camera? Yeah, that’s the one. We want it filmed there.

That’s what we said and that’s what we did. And yeah, old natures die hard, it was still over-the-top, it still had some goth-looking girls (one of whom eventually became my wife), and when we got there it was freezing and gray and brown-iced earth. It was still us and we hoped it would still be Louis.

We had a couple of days to film. On the first day Jason went for a little walk around the perimeter of the cemetery, fingers red from the cold as he held his cigarette, and when he came back around he looked a little jumpy. He said, I don’t like it here. Them birds are talking. Talking? Yeah talking. Well, laughing.

It felt weird being there again. There was a feeling in the air even from the film crew that had never been there before. One said it was bad luck to be walking around all these bodies and the only reason he was doing this was because he needed the money.

And it was weird to think that the gravestone that had Louis’s name carved into it was just a false monument.

On the third and last day it started pouring rain. Just pounding. You couldn’t hardly see a damned thing in front of you. It was the kinda rain that hurt when it hit you it was coming down so hard.

We were packing up, almost everyone had left, when Jason comes up to our pick-up and asks if we heard a weird noise. Weird noise? Well hell yeah, those girls were wild. No, he says, I ain’t kidding. Like a growl but more human. Like a scream, but more animal. Well, we kind of laugh at him, say it’s probably a cougar. And before Brad can make a joke about that—

There it is. It’s not a scream. It’s something that slices through the tombstones and rattles the eardrums so it was a sound—but of what I don’t know. I don’t know. Everyone got this look, this dead look like the world fell out beneath our feet. Nobody said a word. It sounded like it had come from somewhere in the middle of the cemetery. And there was a smell too. You know when it rains it mixes up the dirt and the plants and it just shocks you with the scent? It was like that, but as if the dirt was freshly dug and something rotten was unearthed.

And like I said, you couldn’t hardly see. Just dark blotches where the graves were blinking in and out of sight between raindrops. We just stood there, watching, listening. My heart has never pounded harder. I saw those rumors in my mind of gray skies and something big flying towards you and those are the last pictures you ever take.

Finally nothing happens and we start looking at each other, feeling like of course it was just an animal prowling around. Gosh, you had us scared man. Let’s get the hell out, let’s get back to my place, I’m cooking alfredo and Brad’s got a couple of bottles from the producer’s vineyard. Sure it was nice of him to share. Yeah actually I did get that girl’s number, the one with the green eyes? Come on, get the heat on, I’m freezing.

And we’re driving away, the noise forgotten—except Jason keeps looking out the rear window, just quick little checks. I pretend not to notice. But he twitches a couple of times, opens his mouth as if he’s about to say something, but no. He keeps quiet. Eventually he stops looking and seems to relax.

I don’t stop though. And a couple of times through the sheets of rain and the obstruction of the trees, I wonder if I see something wet, dark, and shiny slinking along the road. But it’s impossible to tell.

I get up the next morning and find this thing slung across the back porch. The ground is still soaked from last night’s rain but it hasn’t managed to wash away the shear amount of blood that’s coating the concrete patio. And I need you to get this. It was so much blood. You could’ve splashed around it. My stomach almost couldn’t take it. My sense of smell certainly didn’t.

Brad and Jason got up because of the smell. They shuffled out like the dead awakened and found me staring at this thing on the porch. Jason started retching and I told him to puke in the sink. I wasn’t about to clean up this thing and then clean up after him. What the hell is it? Brad says. Who cares? It’s got to get off the porch. Looks like a malformed-newlyborn-mut or something. Maybe it got suckered by a car.

We dug it as deep as we could and it crossed my mind that, damn, maybe we shouldn’t have a thing that smells that bad, a thing that looks that rotted decomposing God knows what into the soil. And Brad didn’t say anything but I knew we were thinking the same thing. Something about it just feels wrong. Like we shouldn’t be touching it. Like we shouldn’t have even looked at it. It crossed my mind that maybe Father Nicholas could come over and do whatever it is priests do to make things clean.

The paws though, check those out. They kinda look like hands, thinking maybe it’s a raccoon but the bastards too big. Good lord, it looks almost rotten. Maybe something else dropped it off. On the porch? On my porch man? Get the hose too, we got to wash off the whole backyard after this. Get the shovel and help me out—of course we’re going to bury it, that’s just what you do. Something’ll dig it out of the trash if we chuck it in there. It looks sorry enough, that’s just what you do.

How big? Maybe about four feet long. It looked pathetic and disgusting and I didn’t tell Brad this but I almost was glad. Maybe that ain’t it. But it felt right that we had our shovels and we were digging a hole and we were going to lay this bloody pulp in it. Father Nicholas once told me about things being fitting. And I guess that’s what it was, fitting.

No, I didn’t, make that connection, between this thing and what we heard in Pressfield cemetery. Not yet. But you know how it is. You never think you’re going to get a story out of something while you’re in it.

The thing was buried and we scrubbed ourselves off and then moved on with our day. Jason seemed much quieter, but he’d been that way since Louis vanished. So maybe it was nothing.

During the night I drempt I was on a boat. It was a boat that my parents had taken me to once, on a family vacation to Main. It was white and blue and unlike that July day years ago, the sea was wine-red and wild with storm. The waves were flooding the deck and the red foam left behind looked like clumps of flesh. I was stumbling around, looking for my mom or my dad or anyone at all—but the deck was empty. I found the door that led down into the lower deck, and the wood was almost black. I put my hand against the icy door, about to push it open, but somehow through the crashing of the waves I heard a scratch, like a single long claw dragging from the top of the frame all the way down to the bottom. I pressed my ear to the door. I don’t think I was breathing. And I listened to the scratching go all the way back up and down, slowly, over and over again.

When I woke up, it was still dark and at first I was thinking I was still sleeping. The scratching sound was still ringing in my ears, and I sat up trying to shake it away. My stomach churned. The clock said 2:36 A.M. I turned my head to the small window that looked into the dark backyard and realized that the scratching noise was coming from that direction. A long, slow scratch from the top of the window to the bottom.

I wasn’t as scared as you’d think. Maybe I was still too asleep, maybe all my panic had been used up over the last few days but I found myself crawling over to the window and just—waiting. I couldn’t see jack. I hadn’t flicked on my lamp. I just waited until the scratching started over at the top and I followed it down the glass, trying to see something, anything. But all I could see was what looked like a glint of a knife and a clearly defined scratch down the middle of the pane. And that’s when it kicked in, me getting scared. Someone was dragging a Goddamn knife down my window.

The most sensible thing to do, or at least the most sensible thing my half-awake brain could think of to do, was go wake up Brad and get the rifles from underneath his bed. He was not happy. He told me I should quite drinking so much before bed, but eventually he got up, gun on his shoulder.

I kept the light off and nodded to my window. We held our breath listening. Brad got closer, looking out into the blackness. The scratching had stopped and I didn’t see anything outside. But Brad noticed the crack in the glass and suddenly looked very awake.

I’m going to go check outside, he said, and as he headed toward the back door, the one closest to my bedroom, there was a series of loud slams that sounded like a person jumping off the roof. At this point Jason was up, and he’s asking what the hell was going on and Brad told him there’s a wildcat clawing Steve’s window or some crap. I’m going to fire a shot up and scare it away.

But two things happened before Brad could slide open the back door. I hadn’t thought about it until now, but there was an familiar smell that had been growing steadily stronger, a rotten, turned-earth smell, and I couldn’t say anything except stop. Don’t open it, wait.

And Jason, stone still looking out the back window at the porch right behind the door, called out the same thing. Stop.

That’s not a cougar. You gotta look.

I’m telling you, we did look. And there was the slimy pink thing with long skinny limbs crouched in front of the back door. It looked like it had a fleshy cape on its back and it twitched as if in pain. We watched unmoving as one long claw flicked up, digging into the door, dragging it down slowly to the ground, and then repeating the act, slowly, slowly.

And you just knew, you just knew, this was the thing that wasn’t supposed to be here.

No, no way, Brad was saying, this is getting too weird. We buried this thing. We put it in the ground. And it crawled out. And we saw it. It was dead. We threw it in the hole and it got back up.

Jason was still watching the thing as it lay on the doorstep. We don’t know if it was actually dead, he said. He said it in a whisper. Well you didn’t bury it, says Brad.

***

[imagine-silk]

Hi! Can I have the non-human companions' reaction to a male sole that is very protective of them? Like if they're at a bar and someone shouts "get out of here freak/bucket of bolts/etc" he's beating the crap out of them immediately and when he's done he just goes back to the said companion and is all caring like "are you ok? Do you need anything?" Djdjfnfnejjr p l e a s e I've had this idea for so long

It would be my pleasure! I did try to write for a Male!Sole but you could swap the pronouns and it would be Gender Neutral. And this is a good ask so I threw in some extra. I may have done too much...

Nick is baffled

He has learned to ignore it for the most part. He only finds humor in it if the person said something original, even if it is because it doesn't make sense. But it is also something he takes into account when he goes out. To him it's inevitable.

To [Sole] it's not.

He was enjoying a nice, well earned, drink when a patron decided Nick needed to know exactly what he thought of him. When he didn't answer to the slurs the man smacked the drink out of his hand. "A scrap of metal like you should be torn for parts." What annoyed him the most was the man wasn't drunk. What horrid behavior for a sober man.

However he didn't want to make a scene in front of his companion. He never was an eye-for-an-eye type, but especially not in front of good company. So he was just going to leave.

He did not account for his partner's reaction.

Before he even finished sighing [Sole] punched him to the ground, and didn't relent until the man was sure to be hurting the next morning. Nick was caught so off guard he didn't really have time to react. He only stare at [Sole] as he asked him if he was alright.

He blinked and let out a small laugh, "I should be asking you that."

He's not an advocate for violent answers but no one has ever done that for him. How could he not find his intense care as something novel and kind, if not a little excessive.

(If this happens a lot he'll start to interfere. If [Sole] continues it becomes a known fact not to mess with the prototype synth because of his company. If Romanced he'll entirely not even warn the asshole. They should know what will happen at that point.)

Strong is confused

... Why would they ever do that?

To be fair he was drunk and decided this was his hero moment to save everyone from him. Because in his inebriated he believed he could kill a super-mutant. However Strong didn't know he was being attacked. The man was flailing at best. He didn't know what was going on.

Then [Sole] kicked the man in the face. Repeatedly.

"Are you alright? Did he hurt you?" It's only then does he realize he was attacking him.

"Human make Strong feel itchy." Not quite the right word but it got the intent across.

Curie chooses mercy

It is not well known that she is a synth, unless you knew he before the upgrade. So [Sole] was very surprised when one of his minutemen was yelling in her clinic. At first he thought it was just a scared patient but it's hard to misunderstand 'Synth Filth'.

Curie ran around the clinic dodging thrown objects, in her arms the attacker's lazor-musket. [Sole] wasted no time knocking them to the ground. He yelled, "What are you doing?!" with his arms crossed.

The patrolman tried to stand but he shoved them back down with his foot, leaving them breathless. "I asked you a question." As the patrolman scrambled explanations of Curie being a spy and dangerous Curie also tried to explain while pulling his arm to relent. She begged for [Sole] to understand that they were confused and angry nothing more.

After letting they go [Sole] turned to her and searched for any wounds. Asking frantically if she was okay.

"Yes. This was all just terribly exciting for me and I believe I need to sit."

Dogmeat protection squad

"Stupid dog." a man spat.

Dogmeat understood and whined.

The man was quickly incapacitated. If not by [Sole], by me.

Hancock is relieved

There are two reactions you will get if you curse him out in public for being a ghoul. Either one, he'll laugh and joke along. Or two, he'll stab them. Simple as that.

This time a drunken woman was simultaneously hitting on him while calling him gross. Getting very touchy while degrading him. Normally he would do one or two but he had never been in this situation. To say he was uncomfortable was a gross understatement. He felt so vulnerable and naked. Trapped.

Until she was thrown to the floor. To which he heard the cries of angels as [Sole] asked him if he was okay, he could swear he had a halo too. He held on to his touch as if it would erase any remnant of her. The woman was escorted out but Hancock focused on the man in front of him. His touch. His words. His care.

"Say something, please John."

He smiled, "Ain't you a sight for sore eyes."

Kent wants comfort

Now we all know this is a cinnamon roll, but to others he's just a ghoul. It's okay. We know they're wrong.

Kent is very demure so [Sole] doesn't like to expose him to anything poor taste. But when he came back from the bathroom and saw him being harassed by some dudes what else was he supposed to do?

[Sole] reached out but pulled back. "Ah, I shouldn't touch you with bloody hands. Are you okay?"

Kent fell forward onto his chest and grabbed his shirt. "Can we go home?" [Sole] held him and took him home to be doted on.

X6-88 is glad

After leaving the institute (I have a AU where no one has to die) he followed [Sole]. But that came with the fear of the lay person. The average surfacer who had any idea of what he was avoided him. Until one threatened him.

He did not engage with the man. But then the man persisted.

He would harass him daily. At his house, while tending to crops, even while he's on patrol. As much as X6 could remove his tongue, he didn't want to waste the new life [Sole] had given him. So he endured.

"Hey X6, I got you-" When [Sole] walked in the man had X6 in a corner. When he came to the man was running away. He turned frowning X6 and started checking him. "What's wrong? Are you hurt?"

X6 couldn't help but smile. "You have just made my restraint obsolete. "

"Perhaps I overreacted."

"Nevertheless, I thank you."

Sturges is worried it will change things

No one believed the old guy who claimed he was making a device to sense synths. Everyone was just like, "That's nice dude." Then he started yelling at Sturges. And Sturges was freaking the fuck out.

As much as Sturges is build like a brick wall, he wasn't a fighter. And that was why [Sole] quickly detained the man. Sturges took that time to hide away.

No one could find him. Eventually [Sole] found him down the river, the moon glowed on him and his sour expression. He didn't move as he sat next to him.

The wind blew and the water rushed, as if nothing happened. "[Sole] I'm a-"

"It doesn't matter." He finally looked up to [Sole]. "This changes nothing. In fact, it never happened. That machine didn't work. You hear?"

He let go his tears and sniffled. "Okay."

Danse is scared

The Brotherhood declared Danse dead. He thought that was the end of it. Until he was held at gun point by a past subordinate in the middle of Sanctuary. The young man demanded answers while Danse tried to deescalated. He thought, 'This is the end of the line.' Then the kid was hit on the back of the head and promptly knocked cold.

Danse' legs finally gave out as [Sole] scrambled to him. "Are you okay? There was no shot. I didn't hear a shot. Where are you hurt? Someone-"

"I'm fine." Danse said breathless, not looking up from the ground. "I'm fine. I'm fine."

[Sole] held him to his chest, "That's right. You're okay."

Hope you enjoyed! Until next time.

[sipsteainanxiety]

Hi shay.!! How r u doing? What are your fave or maybe even self indulgent hcs of bkg in general or in a relationship or maybe both hehe.. coz I really like to know your thoughts n insights. ur one my fav bkg writers out there💕 n really love how u portray him in ur fics 👌. (btw I'm the anon who sent pov asks for fmn and dw take ur time. Just wanted to let you know that fmn is my absolute fav fic of urs I keep coming back to it , and I'm patiently waiting for the epilogue n sequel later😌)

hello nonnie my love!! i'm doing well thank u for asking<3 u are too sweet i am patting ur head so tenderly rn<3 i've got an exam i need to study for but shh itll be fine im fine :') im hoping to be able to write as i procrastinate on studying LOLLL

hmmmmmm i had to do some sitting around and thinking for these. i think there's a mix of hc and canon stuff but these r generally my bkg thoughts LOL sorry it got out of hand sdfhksdf:

he's a clean freak - can't stand the sight of hair around his apartment, even his own LOL

"DIE STAINS!!" as he cleans dishes

he's one of those people who can wake up the instant his alarm goes off and can just get up. no snoozing whatsoever (tho he does like his sleep and WILL be grumpy. don't talk to him at least for half an hour)

also one of those people who can just sit down and get his work done, no procrastinating

lightweight as FUCK one drink and he's gone

on that note, he's a mix of a sleepy + clingy drunk.

and i say "clingy" as in he will hover around you and be more blatant with staring right at you + holding onto you bc he's got no digression when he's drunk lol. all those thoughts he represses when hes sober just bubble to the surface

fr wears his heart on his sleeve.

OK THIS ISNT A HC THIS IS CANON BUT THE FACT THAT U SEE ALL HIS EMOTIONS THRU HIS EYES AND HE HATES THE FACT THAT HE CRIES A LOT (maybe even more than deku) BUT CANT HELP IT!!!! and he slowly learns that its okay to cry, esp in front of people, and yeah<33

budgets his finances p well - he's got an excel spreadsheet and everything

yeah his parents r well off but he's lowkey a little stingy when it comes to money LOLLL tho he does buy top quality shit he doesnt buy unnecessary things at least until he meets u

WILL basically sugar baby u, buying u stuff he thinks/knows you'll like ESPECIALLY if he's crushing.

he'll b all gruff abt it tho, trying hard to play it off as just something he does when it's obvious he doesnt do it for any of his other friends LMAO its so obvious hes in love ur honor, u can see it in his eyes tee hee

doesnt realize hes crushing at first tho.

i feel like there has to be some sort of catalyst for him to realize his feelings/act on them LOL. doesnt have to be anything big

it just punches him in the face one day when hes like "wait- why the fuck am i doing this?!"

he hopes that by getting u things constantly and wanting to spend basically all his free time w u tht you'll catch on to the fact tht he likes u lmfaoo he's bad w words ok!!

doesn't think he deserves to be in love, which is why it makes it hard for him to confess/ask u out. or at least why he takes a long time to do so

he doesnt give his heart to just ANYONE, if hes asking u out its w the intention that one day he'll marry u

DEMI BKG.

at first he only knew how to do eyeshadow/eyeliner for his mask but he learned how to do like, contour/foundation after he met u bc he likes doing ur makeup

also likes braiding ur hair/playing with it and having his own played with in return

wipes his hands on his pants before he touches u sometimes

this is obvious but he is a very healthy eater and constantly conscious of how he treats himself. never catch him eating junk food or smoking or anything. if he does treat himself to take out he goes n exercises it off after

makes his own recipes for meals sometimes.

listens to a lot of punk rock music w heavy drums!! especially when he's exercising. if u catch him at the right time u might see him listening to softer music when he's feelin comfy

on that note he's got a lot of organizational/specific playlists he's made on spotify. all private tho and he doesnt bother putting covers on em

video game nerd!! he 360 no scoped denki not once, but three times in one game.

knows a lot about engineering ngl. little nerd has books on mechanics, dynamics, physics, etc.

woke king. he made sure he had a well-rounded education

flexible af!! he can do splits!!

loves puns (i think this is canon??) tho will pretend he doesnt

SO FUCKING EASY to deez nutz or upbaby him

also easy to condition him with kisses. NEEDS his gm nd gn kisses or he'll be grumpy the rest of the day

kiss drunk sap

LMaO the fact that he pretends hes a delinquent but is actually such a stickler for the rules/wont talk back

on that note he unfortunately wont pick u over the world

but he DOES put u before himself and will 100% die for u

thinks hes selfish but he's actually not. he makes sure u're well taken care of in terms of comfort, food, stress, etc.

gets along better with old people than ppl his own age LOLLL

hard of hearing in his 20s/30s!! knows jsl!! also fluent in english.

IDK WHERE THIS CAME FROM BUT HIM BEING A SECRET FAN OF ROMANCE NOVELS????!!!! that shit is so fucking cute to me who came up with it?!

on that note he doesn't really like horror movies but pretends he isn't a wuss LOLL. will nonchalantly hold ur hand during it and say its for your own sake, not his. i can imagine him getting spooked and flinching n coughing and pretending nothing happened haha

emo boy likes his beanies

cares perhaps a bit too much abt what other people think of him

WILL splay himself all over the bed when he sleeps, but he does also kinda wrap himself around u and can stay like that for the entire night. he flops in btwn

has nightmares n will wake up in the middle of the night & will simply listen to ur breathing until he falls back asleep

sometimes thinks u arent real - how did he manage to get someone who loves him for who he is, thorns and all?

ANYWAYS yeah KHSDFKSF those r all over the place but theyre what i can think of for now haha.

also!! yes thank u for reading fmn! it really means a lot that u like it so much!! i literally cant express it, fmn is my BABY!!!!!! i feel like a proud parent LMAOO idk if u saw but i did post tht i would get to your POV asks eventually!!! (ive already deleted the post sdfhfkd) hopefully i can work on some stuff tonight!!

[pixie88]

On Pause

Chapter 22 - Always the Bridesmaid.  

A/N: Please don’t hate me for this chapter. 1 Chapter left of ATB, that will be out within the next week. Thank you again to all those following this story and continue to follow it, you have no idea how much it means to me that you take the time to read. 😘 

Please if you don’t like this series ask to be untagged or don’t read.

Read previous chapters HERE!

Warnings: Fluff & Mild NSFW

Word Count: 1967

Pairings: Laila x Harry

Enjoy! 😘 

"Laila....?" he looks over to her for a second, "Like give up my flat permanently?" her voice is a whisper, she quickly sobers up "Well, yeah or I could move into yours if you don't want to move to mine?" she goes to speak but nothing comes out "Laila? What do you think?" he asks.

"Erm...I...errr....don't you think it's a little too soon?" he seems a little taken aback by her answer "But you're practically living there now, so what's the difference?" she knows what he's saying is right "But I..always have the option to go back home. If I move in to yours I don't have the option anymore"

"So you don't want to move into mine because you won't have an option to go back home?" he asks her confused "Harry, it's a big step....we've only been together 3 months. If this doesn't work out....I'd have to go back to square one again. Buy a new flat, new things" he pulls up outside his flat "That's what you're waiting on? Us to fail?" he seems a little hurt when he asks.

He takes the keys out of the ignition "NO! I didn't say that, I just meant we haven't been official for long and moving in...together...now. Well, it's a bit too soon!" he sighs, "Basically, I'm good enough to keep you safe from Vicky but to permanently move in I'm not?" he almost hisses at her "NO!! Don't put words in my mouth! Harry...I would love nothing more than to live with you permanently but when the time is right"

"That's the thing.... I don't think the time will ever be right," he gets out of the car slamming his door, without looking back at her, he walks through the main entrance and heads towards the stairs.

She sighs, knowing she's hurt him, but she doesn't want to rush into things for it to blow up in her face. She knows it's not just living that she's scares her... it's also losing him.

She gets out of the car and makes her way up, when she steps inside, the flat is dark. She wanders towards the living room which is dark flipping the lights on she saw him sat on the sofa with his head in his hands "Harry, I'm sorry, but I'm just not ready," he runs his hands down his face "I was thinking maybe I should go back to mine..." he stands and turns towards her "Do what you want! I don't want you to think I've taken that option away from you" he says as he passes her.

"Harry, don't be like that! I just think it would be moving too fast..." he cuts her off "You think we are moving too fast? OK, then sweetheart lets slow it right down....I think we should take a break to figure out what we want" Laila's blood runs cold "What?! Harry..." he turns away from her walks into the bathroom and closes the door.

She realises this isn't up for discussion.

After he closed the bathroom door, Laila heard the bath starting to fill, she stormed into the bedroom, grabbed her bag and packed just the stuff she needed before leaving the flat without waiting for him to finish in the bathroom.

She takes the tube as she's had too much to drink to drive home.

The next day.

She wakes her head is pounding, she woke up hoping last night was a bad dream, but reality hit and she realised it wasn't a dream. She turned off her phone when she got in last night, she didn't want to speak to anyone today.

After she got up and dressed, she needed to get some shopping in. She was in the supermarket trying to decide which pizza to get "You alright Laila?" she turned where she spots Ivie "Oh hey Ivie! How are you?" she puts on a fake smile, "I'm great thanks! You? How's your boyfriend?" Laila tries to smile but Ivie notices her eyes start to gloss over "Oh dear! Laila what's happened? Why don't we grab a coffee from the cafe upstairs and have a chat"

Ivie takes Laila's arm and leads her upstairs "You take a seat and I'll get these. Coffee is it?" Laila nods as she sits down at a table, she watches the shoppers below. The couples buying groceries together... Why didn't I just move in with him? Would be better than how I'm feeling now! She thought.

"Here you go, duck," Ivie says placing her coffee in front of her, "Do you want to tell me what happened?" Ivie asks. Taking a deep breath Laila relaid what happened last night to Ivie when she's finished Ivie sighs "You know me and my Archie split for 2 years in the begin, then we had 45 wonderful years together before he passed away. So, Laila don't see this as the end, it's the beginning you both just want to make sure you are ready for the next step that's all!" she smiles at her.

After her talk with Ivie, Laila feels a little lighter. She decides to go and pick up her car from his place, when she arrived his car was gone. She was a little disappointed, but knew they needed space.

Over the next few days or so Laila went into a routine she'd get up, shower, have breakfast, head to work, work all day, lock up head home, have dinner, a bath then bed. She worked on her days off and was the first to offer to cover another stylist if they needed, the truth was she didn't want to go home because it was quiet and she would do nothing but just sit there thinking about Harry and what's he doing.

She still ignored the world she muted all chats after she told her family, she was fine, but she needed time.

She saw Harry had messaged her, she sent a quick message back.

One week turned into two of the same routines .

That night Laila ordered a pizza after she had a shower and decided to binge on Netflix, the buzzer went she went over to the intercom and buzzed up the delivery guy. As she opens the door, she's greeted by a big bouquet, she can't see the delivery guy behind them, "Oh, wow..." the flowers drop revealing his boyish smile and his ocean blue eyes.

"Harry?" she wasn't expecting to see him, suddenly she becomes self conscious of how she looked "Can I come in?" he pleads with her, she nods moving aside, so he could come inside. They make their way into the living room and he takes a seat on the sofa, placing the flowers down on the table. A ringlet of his hair drapes down wet from the rain as his coat was also wet "You look beautiful," he says as she sits down with space between them.

"Thanks, how are you?" she asks, he lets out a small laugh as he shook his head "Honestly?" She nods "Absolutely miserable!" he moves closer to her "Laila, I miss you!" he cups her face and she smiles "I know it's stupid considering I was the one that said we should take a break, but I thought maybe that's what you needed because things were moving to fast for you. Worst idea ever, I've done nothing but pine for you! I may have even walked passed your work a couple of times just to get a glimpse of you"

She laughs "Stalker much," he laughs at her comment "But I miss you too" his lips crash to hers, its rough and passionate "Laila, please can we resume this," he whispers against her lips, she smirks "Resume? Harry, we aren't a video game," she laughs, "Fine, get back together, unpause, take me back, be mine! If you aren't ready to take that step..fine, but I just want you back" he says as he reclaims her lips.

Laila can't help smile against his lips, he pulls away "Is that a yes?" He asks her "I'm not sure I need a little more convincing" she smirk, his lips brush against her ear electrifying every nerve ending "Let's see if I can convince you" he peppers kisses along her neck and up to her lips.

He pulls her onto his lap until she's straddling him, her hands tangle in his hair. The kiss turns intense, they're both trying to catch, their breath but they don't break apart. Harry grasps the hem of her t-shirt, pulling it over her head and quickly moves to unclip her bra as his lips move down to her collarbone before he flings her bra off.

His lips move down to her chest, his tongue glazes her nipple making her gasp. His hand slips between the waistband of her shorts, the pads of his fingers parted her fold, he worked circles around her clit. She pulls his lips back to hers, her hands wander to push off his jacket, soon both their clothes have created a puddle on the floor.

His hips thrust up to meet hers "God, I've missed you" he hisses as he enters her, she's missed him just as much and he could tell by the way her body reacted to his touch. He drags his nails lightly against her spine, making her moan. Her hips moved faster, riding him harder. He groans against her collarbone..

Later.

Pulling their clothes back on, Harry pulls her to his chest "Was that convincing enough?" he kisses the top of her head. She pretends to think "Hmm...it depends!" she laughs,"Depends? Depends on what?" he smirks at her "If there is a round 2" she winks "OK, just give me 5 minutes to catch my breath"

She tuts "Harry Taylor, the personal trainer is out of breath? How disappointing!" she jokes, he lets out a small laugh, "But yes! I want to resume this....this break made me realise I was being silly. So, Mr. Taylor, will you level up with me?" she sits up to look at him "Level up?" he cocks his head to the side not understanding her question.

"Will you move in with me? Over the past 2 weeks I hated coming home and you haven't been here. It made me realise maybe I was more ready for the step than I thought" he smiles, his hand moves a strand of hair away from her face, "Of course, you didn't even need to ask. Could've just moved my stuff in!" she laughs, "We aren't living here!" she smirks.

"Oh, you could've just moved your stuff to mine..." she cuts him off "Nope, I want us both to sell our flats and find somewhere new"

"Whoa! Are you sure? Laila, that is a big step!" she looks at him confused "One, I want to take but I want you to be one hundred percent about," he says as she rolls her eyes at him and cups his face "Harry, I'm sure. I just want a place that is both of us! One we can decorate together, where it doesn't have yours or my stamp on it but ours"

She has no idea how happy she has made him, he watches her relay her ideas on what kinda place she wants.

He's missed that smile, those eyes, her laugh.

She stops talking realising he's just staring at her "What?" she asks, he gets up picking her up with him, "Come on, we'll get started on round 2" he walks them to her bedroom.

Continue reading this story here - Chapter 23.

@lem-20​ @irisofpurple​ @aussieez​ @secretaryunpaid​ @khoicesbyk​ @txemrn​ @gloriousalmondvoiddreamer​ @tea-me-kah​ @casualpostqueen​ @beautifuluknownvoid​ @wombatsxkookaburras​

[sillyrabbit81]

Her Heavy Cross

Summary: Three years after tragedy hits, Lana she decides to start dating again. She meets Will through a dating app and they begin an online romance. After months of constant requests, Lana relents and agrees to meet and go on an irl date with Will. But is Will who he says he is? Lana is quickly pulled into an intense relationship forcing her to confront her tragic past. Will Lana face it or will she close her heart forever?

Pairing: OMC x OFC

Word Count: approx 2.7k

Warnings: swearing, angst, drunk, motion of death

Authors Note: The story started as a Henry Cavill fanfiction but I changed it to be an original character, but shades of Henry are still there. Hope you enjoy the story and thanks for reading.

Part 2 Part 4

Part 3

In less than ten minutes, we had pulled up to Liam's house. Liam paid for the taxi too. I kind of argued this time, but he pointed out he asked me to his house. I didn't get too stubborn about it.

Liam was living in a four-story terrace house, recently renovated by the looks of it. It was painted white with black wrought iron lacework, and it was beautiful. The front door and windows were painted black. It appeared to be the twin of the house that shared its wall.

We entered through the dining room, and I realised it was actually the two houses renovated together. The inside was modern with original heritage touches. The floors were light timber, and the walls were white. The ceilings had plaster and cornice so beautifully ornate that restoration must have taken ages. The room had an imposing black marble fireplace and a deep brown, almost black wooden dining table set on a grey shag rug in the room's centre. A huge abstract painting of bright pinks, greens and grey hung on the wall.

"Wow, this must have cost a mint!" I quickly covered my mouth. "I'm sorry, that was rude of me."

"It's ok. I was pleasantly surprised by the house too. The studio got the house for me I...." Liam was interrupted by a massive dog bounding into the room.

Liam got down and roughhoused with the dog for a bit. Wow, he was a monster! I'd seen a picture of Cole before that "Will" had sent me, but I wasn't quite prepared for how big he was. He was almost completely black with some brown above his eyes and ears. His paws were brown too, and his belly was grey. He wasn't any particular breed, apparently a rescue dog. I thought of my bull terrier cross cattle dog at home. This dog would eat him for breakfast, and Perrin wasn't small.

Cole's pink tongue lolled, and he panted as Liam moved from side to side. Cole imitated Liam's actions jumping about. He barked a couple of times as he got excited by the play. The noise reverberated through the quiet house.

"Shhh, Cole, people are sleeping." Liam softly admonished. Then his voice became stern. "Sit," he ordered before patting him. Liam looked at me and said, "Lana, this is Cole. Cole, Lana."

"Hi, Cole. You're much bigger in person." I could hear the slight tremor in my voice. Liam must have sensed I was nervous and came over to stand near me. Cole padded over and sniffed at me. Gingerly, I put my hand by my side and let him approach me. Cole nuzzled my hand, and I gave him a pat on the side of his neck. I let out a sigh of relief.

"I was worried he wouldn't like me. I love dogs but always get nervous around new ones." Liam put his head to the side, asking a silent question. "I had a dingo go me one time, and I've never really gotten over it." I squatted down and gave Cole more pats. "I think this guy is ok, though."

"Yeah, he's a good boy. How is Perrin, by the way?"

"He's ok." I sighed, "he's just old. The poor little guy can't get onto my bed anymore and sleeps in my lounge room now. I kinda miss it, but I have slept a bit better."

Liam gave Cole some more pats and told him to go sit. "Come on. I'll make you a tea or coffee if you'd like." I agreed a coffee would be perfect right now. I needed something to sober me up.

I sat at the kitchen bench while Liam made coffees. Cole sat by my stool, and I patted his head while watching Liam. Liam had kicked off his shoes and was walking around in his bare feet. It was amazing to see him so much more relaxed here than while we were out. He really did appear to enjoy being at home.

As Liam made our coffee, he moved with a grace that surprised me. His movements seemed economical and rigid but hinted at the power beneath them. He seemed coiled and ready to explode at any moment. It was like he was dancing the pasodoble, his body moving to an invisible beat. Images of Strictly Ballroom came into my mind, and I found myself humming Love is in the Air. I was drunker than I thought.

When Liam was done, he led me over to his large L shaped lounge, and I sat. Liam flopped down next to me, casually laying back and popped his feet up on the coffee table. Cole sat on a mat that was clearly his.

I sipped my coffee, not knowing what else to do. Suddenly the quiet between Liam and I felt awkward.

Liam and I spoke at the same time, "What.." "So..."

We both laughed. Liam indicated I should proceed. "Well, I was going to ask what brought you out to Sydney, for real, not the Will answer."

"A new project. I'm going to be filming a television show." Liam proceeded to tell me about his project, working with some people from Netflix on a fantasy/sci-fi series adaptation. He was so animated when telling me that it was obvious that he loved his job.

It would be his first television series and was to be more romance heavy than anything he had done in years. Liam explained that he is filming here because the story was written and developed in Australia. "If it works out, I'll probably be based out of Australia for the next few years. I'll go home to England for a few months during breaks, maybe do some small film roles. It's hard with Cole, though, because every trip into Australia means 10 days quarantine for him."

"Oh yeah, and you don't want a Pistol and Boo situation." Liam looked confused, and I explained about Amber Heard and Johnny Depp smuggling their dogs into Australia.

"I thought you said you don't follow celebrity gossip."

"I don't, but that was big news, hilarious really. It was on every bit of media in Australia, and then they had to make this cringe video apology. I almost felt bad for them." Then I yawned, suddenly all the alcohol had lost its buzz, and I was just tired. "The coffee doesn't seem to be doing its job. What time is it?"

Liam looked at his watch, "11.30."

"Yeah, it's late. I should get home. I don't want to turn into a pumpkin." I cringed. Fuck.

"You don't have to go. You could stay here." I raised my eyebrows. "I do have more than one bed if that's what you want." Liam leaned over to me and placed a hand on my cheek, rubbing his thumb against my skin.

I looked at my nearly empty coffee mug. I swirled the dregs around the bottom as if it were tea leaves, and they would tell me what to do. "I don't want to go home yet, but I don't want to go too fast, either."

"That's ok."

I didn't move. I wanted to stay. Ten years ago, I would have stayed, but Andy's face flashed into my thoughts. I knew it was ridiculous. Andy had been gone for over three years now. But every time I even contemplated being with someone, I couldn't stop thinking about him.

Liam was waiting for an answer, but I didn't know what to tell him. 'It's not you, it's me' is such a tired cliche, but sometimes it's true.

"Lana, it's ok. If you want to go home, that's absolutely fine. I'll even call you an Uber."

I felt my eyes sting, and I looked away from Liam. My bloody traitorous tear ducts giving me away. I shouldn't have drunk so much. Alcohol always makes me emotional.

"Fuck." I swore under my breath. I angrily wiped at my eyes, thankful I had used waterproof mascara. My eyeliner was a different story, though, and black streaked my fingers. I asked Liam where his bathroom was, and I got up, only half listening to his directions. I found it quickly. It was only through the doorway into a little enclave with a powder room, stairs and a lift. What kind of bloody house has a lift?

I closed the door and sat on the toilet seat. I knew enough not to try to stop the tears, so I just let them go. Bloody hell, Andy. Why did he fucking have to leave me? Why the fuck did you have to fucking die. Goddammit. Why do I do this to myself? Why do I do this to Andy? I wanted to scream, to punch something, to throw something. I needed another cigarette. Fuck you, Andy. Fuck you. Fuck me. Fuck Liam.

As I always did when I thought of Andy, I remembered the last time I saw him. His sweet face looked down at me as he kissed me goodbye. His deep brown hair fell like a curtain around us, hiding our kiss from the world. Cheekily I had slipped my tongue into his mouth, and he had groaned as he pulled away. He told me to save it for when he got back and would be as quick as he could be. I had thanked him for filling in for me. He winked and said to thank him later. Then he left.

When I was able to, I started to take deep breaths. In through my nose, out through my mouth. I could feel the tightness in my chest slowly ease. Breathing became more comfortable, and the tears stopped. I looked at my hands, and I was able to release the fists I was making. My nails hadn't broken the skin this time, but small red crescents remained etched into my palms.

I waited a few minutes longer to make sure the moment had passed. It wasn't Andy's fault he died, and I knew that. It's also not my fault that I wanted someone to love again. Sleeping with someone other than Andy felt like crossing the Rubicon, no going back.

The fact was there is no going back, no Andy to go back to, even if I wanted. In my head, it still felt like a betrayal. But it wasn't. And Liam wasn't just anybody. He was a guy I had spent weeks talking to, getting to know, and although he looks different, he is still acting as I had expected. I saw a potential future here. Did I really want to let my past ruin it?

I cleared my throat and stood up, preparing myself to see the horror that looked back at me. Ugh, it wasn't great. My eyeliner had given me panda eyes, and the tears had created streaks down my cheeks.

Getting a tissue and blew my nose, and decided there was nothing else for it, I washed my makeup off my face. I avoided washing my eye makeup off though, that was a mess I just didn't have the products for, so I just wiped under my eyes and cleaned it up. I binned my tissues, washed my hands, took a few more deep breaths and prepared myself to face Liam.

I opened the door and walked straight into something solid that made me bounce back into the bathroom like a tennis ball. Hands caught me before I hit the floor, and I found myself in Liam's arms.

"I'm sorry, did I hurt you?" He asked.

"No," I was flustered again. I spent all that time calming down to just be in a state two seconds later. "I just didn't expect you to be outside the door. Jesus, you're like a brick shit house."

Liam didn't laugh. "I was worried about you."

"I'm fine," I lied.

Liam didn't look convinced. He let me go and ran a hand through his hair. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not right now."

Liam nodded. "I'll get you that Uber." He pulled his phone out.

That's it then. All in all, it wasn't the worst date I'd been on since Andy died. Actually, it was probably the best. Liam, at least, was a guy I was attracted to and didn't appear to be a man child. He seemed to like me, even when I cried over another man. Although I doubt Liam knew that's why I was crying. I had told him I was married before and he had died, but that was only once and a long time ago, and we hadn't discussed it again.

The tears had done their job, and a calmness came over me now. I had said goodbye to Andy, and I was ready to take that last step to move on. That was why I started to date again; to open my heart, I was ready.

I put my hand on Liam's wrist, "if you still want me to, I'd like to stay."

"Are you sure? I probably shouldn't have asked in the first place. I let my other head think for me." Though I laughed at his candid admission, Liam's face was serious. "I'm not joking. I want you, and I didn't think about how you must be feeling. The whole fake profile thing must still be weighing on your mind. And all of the other problems that go along with being with me. You should have more time to think about it."

And my dead husband, let's not forget that. I didn't say that out loud, thank God. "I will have time to think about it. But right now, I want..." Shit. I've gone shy again. Just fucking tell him you want him too! "I mean, can't we just have a bit of a cuddle and a snog?"

Liam's lips twitched as he tried to suppress a smile, "a cuddle and a snog?"

I nodded.

Smiling, Liam put his phone back in his pocket. "I think I can arrange that."

Without further warning, Liam grabbed my wrists in one hand and pinned them to the wall above my head. His other hand snaked around my waist, holding me to him, his hips rolling into mine. His eyes were fierce and focused on mine. I  closed my eyes, the sensations too much, and my breath quickened.

I heard Liam say through gritted teeth, "It's taken everything I had not to do this to you since I saw you at the bar. I wanted to take you then and there." His voice seemed to ease, the words coming easier for him. "You don't know how much I've wanted to touch you. To know you are real." Then he whispered, "and you are. Real. You're as beautiful tonight as you were in your pictures."

I opened my eyes and found Liam staring at me, and his intensity was nearly frightening. He pulled me tighter against himself, his fingertips digging into me while he crushed me against his body. I felt his hardness against my hip, and I couldn't stop myself from rubbing against it. This time Liam closed his eyes, and I felt the rush of blood to my centre.

Liam opened his eyes, desire naked on his face, "Kiss me," he said.

I met his soft and warm lips. I felt Liam's groan rumble in his vast chest, and kissing him again, my lips scraped against his whiskers. Liam kissed me back now. His tongue pushed past my lips, and found mine. His tongue playfully danced in my mouth. Liam's hand left my arse and started to feel my hips, my waist and then my breasts. He cupped them and gently squeezed. My breath caught as his hand skimmed past my nipple. His palm created friction against the lace of my bra, and tingles radiated through my body.

His lips left mine and went to my neck. He kissed and sucked at me, moving down to the top of my breasts. I heard him take a deep breath into my chest as his cheeks rubbed against my skin. His kisses became harder against my chest and moved back up to my neck, his teeth nipping at me as he went. Even though he had me captured, I wriggled against him, my hips moved uncontrollably, my breath uneven and weak.

Liam pulled away, still firmly gripping one of my hands. "Come with me." Liam led me to the lift.

"Where are we going?"

"To my bedroom." I pulled against him, forcing him to stop. "Sweetheart, I promise I won't fuck you until you ask."

My legs turned to jelly. I wanted to fall to my knees and beg despite my reservations. I nodded and followed Liam into the lift.

Part 4

[miumoou]

Not Alone Tonight ~ Chapter 8

Dazai X Reader 💞

After a long slow paced thirty minute walk we finally reached the place I called my second home which I shared with a couple of friends.

There was a total number of six of us with each having their own exclusive bedroom. We also had two shared bathrooms, one single toilet with a tiny sink and one large spacious kitchen with two well used coal black sofas and a TV monitor screen which was bought in by one of my friends from their own home.

As I reached out for my keys a wave of realisation hit me. I left the keys in my bedroom when I was rushing out to find Dazai.

"Oh!"

Dazai didn't say a word.

"I forgot the keys in my bedroom!" I exclaimed.

Dazai continued to stay silent.

"Ohhh what should we do! Maybe I'll message them but what if they are all asleep now? It is quite late....aghhh why did I leave them!"

Suddenly Dazai spoke up after being silent for awhile.

"[Y/N] over there"

Dazai's slender finger pointed at the blurry figure of a human through the door window which seemed to approach us closer and closer.

Then the door gently opened and I saw a familiar face. He was just a bare shadow a moment ago but now he had clear features. It was Luke.

His diamond blue eyes met mine. They were full of worry, fear and a slight hint of anger which was almost entirely hidden. His eyes were a little puffy which meant that he once again stayed up late last night probably drinking like he always does.

"[Y/N]? Did you forget your key? Why are you back so late? Everyone was worried!" He asked.

"Haha yeah I did...you know me Luke! I always forget things haha thanks for opening the door!"

"Yeah of course" his cheeks flushed similarly to the sunset I saw earlier. He always gets a little shy around me when I thank him which I find to be his sweetest trait.

"Your a real big help Luke! Like for real!" I gave him a wide happy smile as I lifted myself off the pathway into the house. I chucked my shoes to the side forgetting that Dazai was behind me. Once I realised that I did that in front of him I felt a surge of embrassment flood me.

"Wait" Luke stopped Dazai from entering.

"And who might you be?" He asked Dazai with an intense gaze.

"Oh well I'm-" I quickly cut halfway through Dazai's words like I cut through statements in Danganronpa games.

"Oh he is my friend! One of my old friends from school! He is just visiting [Insert where you live here]"

You see Luke can act quite overprotective and I'm not sure why. He woun't let me have a stranger over at my room but he'll let others do so which doesn't make sense?

So I had to make sure that he believed that Dazai was my good old friend. He can't know that Dazai is technically a stranger or should I say a fictional character which makes him sound even more suspicious!

"Oh your her friend yeah?"

Dazai gave Luke a slight nodd.

"Fine you can come in I suppose" his eyes wondered around the corridor until he met Dazai's chocolate brown eyes again. "Would you like to drink with me?"

"Drinking?? Why ask? Of course I would like to drink. Drinking is my hobby ~" he excitedly replied. Then he looked over at you and noticed your smile fade away.

"[Y/N] will you join us?"

"Oh well... I don't drink Dazai" I hesitantly responded..."I know that you love to drink so I woun't stop you but I woun't"

Dazai's eyes widened with shock.

"...you don't drink? But don't everyone?"

"Everyone but not me Dazai. I don't want to be like everyone. I'm not a big fan of drinking or the aftermath effects...and well you see I'm happy being sober" I smiled awkwardly back knowing that I'll probably be alone tonight in my room as Dazai will leave me to join Luke on a drinking game.

Dazai was silent for a moment. He looked like he was analysing the situation.

Then he turned back to face Luke.

"If [Y/N] woun't drink then neither will I...I don't want to make her feel left out after all that she has done for me. Sorry."

Luke's eyebrows rised. And his mouth line became straight like a ruler. His drinking proposal had never been declined like this. Everyone loves him and his drinking games. But now here he stood.

"Are you sure?? You see [Y/N] woun't mind..." Luke gave me a look which told me that I should say something.

"Dazai you don't have to...its ok you can enjoy yourself tonight you've had a long day!" I quickly faked a smile.

"No I woun't drink today as much as I would love to I can't make you feel uneasy." He firmly responded.

My [E/C] eyes glowed. I've been waiting for so long to hear someone say that they woun't drink. I know I shouldn't say this but seeing Luke like that makes me chuckle inside. Haha finally his drinking proposal got rejected! And I woun't be alone!

"Well then what shall we do [Y/N] chan? ~" he happily whistled.

"Oh yeah of course! What about you come to my room! You can leave your coat in my room and well you know..." I looked over at the pocket where the cotton white bandages were located.

"Sounds like a plan lead the way ~"

We walked passed Luke leaving him in his confused state and headed up the stairs to the second floor. We stopped at plain white door. A sign hanging with my name on it was almost sliding off the door handle.

"Here's my room"

I opened the door and let Dazai walk in first.

I closed and locked the door behind me to make sure that Luke woun't be able to enter or peek into my room. I also hurried to the window and closed it as well. My friends sometimes hang around in our small garden and I woudn't want them hearing our conversation. Then a thought just hit my head. I need to hide the bungo stray dogs manga and light novels! I quickly grabbed each book before Dazai could even have a chance to have a look and put them in a plastic bag which I found near the closet. I just need to keep an eye on this bag. I placed the bag inside my closet as he probably woun't look in there considering how private a girls closet can be.

Looking back at Dazai he was heavily examining my room. I could see his eyes linger from corner to corner as he walked around the small space.

Finally he came to a hult and spoke out.

"Your room is so lively. I like the use of blue in your room. Those posters with the hot air balloon with a bright blue sky, the blue double bed duvet with hummingbirds painted on it and the blue dinosaur plushie. It's very cute [Y/N]"

"Aha thank you! I tried to give my room a theme and in this case it's a light blue theme! The posters are of my favourite band BTS!"

"BTS?" he looked at me with a puzzled look.

"Oh haha of course you don't know them" I waved my right hand left to right.

Dazai sat on my soft bed trying to be extra careful to not mess anything up. He took off his coat, took the bandages out and placed the coat on a nearby chair.

"Hey Dazai let me help you!"

"Hmm?"

"Let me help you put on those bandages I know it must be tough doing it all by yourself all of the time and it's the least I could do for what you told me earlier!"

"Hmm sure [Y/N] why not"

I sat beside him and gently moved his left arm towards my lap. I took out the bandages and began cutting with the scissors which I grabbed before sitting down. Then I wrapped his left arm like a present. I did the same with the right arm.

"And I'm done!"

Dazai looked over at his arms "Haha thank you. You don't seem to be much of an expert tho! I've never seen anyone wrap bandages like this pfff" he laughed.

"Hey hey I know I'm not an expert but I tried!"

"I know but it's just" he coudn't stop laughing and smiling.

My eyes looked to the side I was so embarrassed. "Hey stop laughing!"

Then I grabbed my pillow and chucked it at his face.

"Oh your also feisty [Y/N]! ~" his arms waved around then he smirked I could almost imagine anime sparkles surrounding that face.

"You really are something Dazai!" I crossed my arms and huffed.

"Okay okay I'm sorry for laughing for real though thanks [Y/N] I haven't laughed that much in awhile~" he spoke out in a joyful tone.

"Fine fine I forgive you"

"You do??" Dazai got incredibly close to my face. His puppy eyes charmed me and I coudn't help but forgive him. I shyly nodded.

[2idiots]

Keep Yourself Alive

pt. 6 // pt. 7 // pt. 8a

word count: 1,667ish

NCT Frat Social Media AU // College Athlete & Fratboy Lucas x reader

warnings: not really any, kind angsty, more than just mentions of chronic pain

(I don't know how but the second paragraph got deleted when I first uploaded. I have since added it in. So if you see something new that's why)

---

Getting Johnny from outside the building to inside your room was a lot more difficult than you expected. This was partially because your best friend was much drunker than his texts suggested and partially because each step was sending a pain reverberating down your legs and up your abdomen. A pain that you knew the mild over-the-counter pain meds would do little to numb but you had taken them with false hope anyway. Before your best friend had forced you into letting his drunkass in you were curled into your bed with a heating pad pressed into your abdomen, hoping eventually exhaustion would win over excruciating pain.

This was the real reason you bolted out of Jet Lag the minute your friends were off in different directions distracted. The pain had triggered before Mark's open mic night started but you were not about to miss the night you friend had been talking about for weeks. This was so important to him and you had to be there. So you sucked it up and promised yourself to duck out the moment it was clear and Mark had performed. Woo noticing and staying over for a few hours was just a welcomed surprise. And the leftover baked goods he brought were another plus side, not that you had any appetite. At least your blubbering fool of a friend would benefit from the pile of pastries sitting on your desk, if you could make it past the giggling desk attendant.

The first time you walked passed her with bleary eyes, focused on only the task ahead she called out something about the “cute Oppa” at the door. Immediately a gag raced up your throat at that, Johnny? A cute Oppa? Gross. He was like your brother, actually more like your overprotective mother. Sure you joked about Johnny being a daddy, but it was all shits and giggles to make him mad with Mark. He wasn't actually one.  The second time she made some sort of pass at him that you blocked out and stifled another gag. You didn’t need to see or hear that child making passes at your best friend.

That wasn’t the only thing she was giggling at though. You and Johnny were quite the sight. He was a stumbling, stuttering fool and you were wearing pajamas that had been picked out in the dark, not even your shoes matched. These were things you had thrown on when Johnny begged you to let him in but your headache was pounding too much to turn the lights on, which was also the reason for the sunglasses. 

Speaking of Big Foot, he was using you almost completely as a support and he weighed a lot more than his bony ass looked. How he managed to make it to your building from 7th Sense was beyond you, he could barely make it three steps without giggling and sliding around. Honestly this made you more than a little nervous for Mark, usually he was the giggly one after a few drinks. If Johnny was this drunk, then Mark could very well be dead.

Overall the hardest obstacle for Johnny to maneuver around was your actual room. He tripped over everything. Maybe it was his long spindly legs combined with the alcohol, but he even fell just trying to walk over your rug. You had to catch him before he face planted. Of course he just contiuned blabbering about the night and how well it went the whole time, even while laughing at his clumsiness. “Then Mark fell! Kinda like how he is falling for sunflower boy but like fell… on the actual ground… like how I just almost fell!” To which you just nodded, handing him a pastry and an ice cold water bottle. “And Jae was so funny, he was talking about the basketball team and one of their parties last week where someone drank beer from a ball that had been cut in half. Isn’t that gross?”

“Yeah babe, real gross,” You nodded, trying to push him toward your bed. You might not have been asleep before he messaged but you were still in bed ready to sleep and you wanted to be back there. “Can you get in bed, Jojo? I'll tired.”

Following your direction like a lost lamb, Johnny swiftly removed all his out layers and climbed into your bed continuing to talk about the basketball team and how pretty and funny they were, all the while giving you very pointed looks. Or at least he was prattling on until he went completely silent and tense before screeching, “THERE’S SOMETHING WARM!”

Arms crossed and irritation pulsed through you at the scream, you leaned over to pull the heating pad out from under him and wiggled it around in your outstretched hand, “Johnny you’ve met HP before, HP meet Big Foot.”

“HP? You named your heating pad?” He questioned already snuggling back into your sheets like he owned the bed. This happened every time he was over, sober or drunk it didn’t matter; Johnny took up every blanket and pillow in your entire bed: partially because his size, mostly because he was an asshole. One of the many reasons you were hesitant to let him stay over anymore, even though you always ended up letting him stay.

“Might as well, he’s in my bed so often,” You grinned before grabbing another water bottle out of the mini fridge in the corner of the room and tossing it his direction. While this wasn’t a common occurrence, drunk Johnny, you did know that he would wake up in three hours whining about a dry mouth and you didn't want to deal with it.

“I mean he wasn’t on Halloween.” Luckily you flipped the lights off before you could see his suggestive eyebrow wiggle. Here was the worst part, talkative drunk Johnny taking an interest in your life and trying to lay down his tips on life. 

Grabbing an extra blanket for yourself you slid in next to him and laughed that thought off, “Actually HP was, ALSO I thought we agreed to not talk about Halloween, leave the past behind us and all.”

“Behind us? Is that how you like it y/n?” He let out a slight whimper when you turned over enough to give him a solid kick to the shin. This alcohol was giving him far more confidence than normal and you didn’t like it. Throwing his hands up, Johnny tossed out a worthless apology and whined, “I deserved that ok. But you know I wouldn’t call it the past, don’t you tutor the dude?”

That elicited a quiet response from you, a simple, “Yeah.”

“Isn’t it like two or three times a week?” He didn’t stop his incessant babbling long enough for you to answer, adding on, “You’re quite popular, my friends keep asking about you too.” Then a switch suddenly flipped in Johnny’s mind, evident by how he practically climbed over you to switch the lamp back on and give you his best mom glare, “Wait, you’re sleeping with HP?” You let out a few weak protests as the light flooded your room and his bony ass arm squished you down into the bed digging into your side. Drunk friends sucked. Too bad you loved them too much to leave them on the street. “So you’re in pain? You’re in pain and you didn’t say anything? You just went home alone and lied to Mark and me?”

“Johnny I always sleep with a heating pad and I’m always in pain. It's not a big deal.” Tonight just happened to be bad, still was, but you left that part out. “Also Jungwoo just left; I wasn’t alone.” That was accompanied by a successful effort to push him off so you could flip the light off again and snuggle into the heating pad again. “Now go to sleep, I'm tired.”

There was a brief moment of silence before you heard sniffling and an occadsional shuffle.

“Are you crying?” You asked incredulously, flipping over to see him hastily wiping away his tears in the ambient light filtering in through the window. Sure enough, your bitch-ass best friend was laying on the other side of the bed using his white undershirt to wipe his tears away. At least he was smart enough not to use your sheets as the tissue. “Stop crying.” This was new. Your friends probably knew way too much about how hard your days were getting, in fact Johnny had driven you to the ER one too many times over the past year and a half, but they had never cried in front of you. At least not about you. 

You hated it.

His immediate response was denial, no he wasn’t crying. These weren’t tears, they were allergies. "Leaks in my face." But you still heard him mutter a muted “I just want you to be happy and not in pain” as the alcohol running through his system finally knocked him out.

You were struck silent, not sure how to respond. Sure he was your closest friend and that meant he had to like you, but this affection made breathing a little hard: your chest not quite expanding like it should. You felt a warm tear roll down your cheek as you turned to face the other side of the room, an effort to get away. This was exactly why you didn't tell them about tonight, you didn't want them burdened with your pain. They should have to suffer just because you were. 

Ignoring the ache in your chest, you blindly reached out for where you set your phone on the bedside table. You still may not be able to sleep but you could get some reading done and maybe forget the sound of Johnny's tears. And maybe, just maybe, the words would lull you into some dreamlike state so you could rest. It was only a few minutes into reading that a text interrupted the chapter. 

summary: College is hard enough, right? Coursework, two jobs, a social life, and the state of your mental health. As if that was enough now the school’s no.1 athlete won’t leave you alone after a one night stand. And maybe you like him back but you have a tendency to run when life gets too difficult especially now that undiagnosed chronic pain just seems to be getting worse with each passing month.

(I've decided updates will be Thursday at 6pm. I hope you enjoy this chapter)

Taglist: @princeofshenzhenuwus

[onebangtanstan]

Power Style - Chapter Nineteen : The birthday

I've been in front of my closet for 30 minutes deciding what to wear. I really have to get ready for Yoongi's birthday. I can't be late, Hobi would kill me.

I can't believe it's already Friday. I've been so busy at work these last 2 days that I didn't even realize how quick time went by.

Back to my closet. Thankfully I already did my hair and makeup, I literally just need to put some clothes on. I'm staring at the neatly organized shelves, hoping for an outfit to magically appear in front of me, when I notice the orange fabric. Perfect! I haven't worn that in so long. I match the skirt with a black body suit and black heels, put my coat on, and 5 minutes later, I'm in a cab heading to Tae's place.

We made plans to meet at his with Kook, so we would arrive together.

My phone rings while I'm still in the cab.

« Hey Tae, what's up? » I answer

« Hey Gina, Hobi just texted, we have to get there sooner, how long til you get here? »

« Um I don't know, 3 minutes I guess? »

« Ok we'll meet you downstairs. »

« No problem. »

As soon as I get out of the cab, I'm grabbed by Kook and Tae and almost shoved into their car.

The three of us are now sitting in the back of a van, heading towards Hobi and Jin's appartment.

« Sorry about that, we really have to hurry » Kook says.

« That's ok, I'm guessing Hobi's plans didn't take as long as he expected? »

« Exactly. So he's making us all rush there so we're there before they get home.» Tae says.

« Anyway, how are you G? » Kook asks.

« Good, working a lot for you guys, but it's super interesting! »

« I can't wait to see what you've prepared! » he answers.

« I hope it will be good enough » I tell them

« Oh don't start, of course it will. » Tae almost scolds me, making me laugh.

After a few seconds of silence, Kook speaks up.

« So, about tonight, like we said, stick with us and we'll keep you as far away from Jin as possible. If at any point you want to leave, this car will be on standby, okay? »

« Okay, thanks guys. »

« Don't worry. »

« He better not pull any shit tonight. » Tae mumbles.

« Hey, Tae, don't. »

« I swear Kook, you know what I think about his behaviour. »

« I know, I know. » Kook put a soothing hand on Tae's lap. « Let's just think of Yoongi and make him spend a great birthday. »We all agree.

« He's probably expecting us to be there to be honest. » Tae answers.

« True, but still. » says Kook.

The three of us get out of the car and into an unfamiliar building. I follow the boys into the lift, clearly not knowing where I'm going, and we arrive at the last floor. A single door is in front of us, slightly open. We can hear Namjoon, Jin and Jimin's voices from outside. We walk in and find them sitting around in the couches. The boys all greet each other, but suddenly go back to their conversation when they see me walking behind Tae and Kook. Jin even scoffs at my sight. Is he for real? Chill, Gina, just ignore him.

I am in awe of the appartment. I'm standing in the middle of one huge room. The kitchen is on one side, seperated by an island, 3 velvet couches are placed around the biggest fireplace I've ever seen. A beautifully dressed table occupies the other side of the room. It's clear that Hobi decorated the place, his energy is overflowing in all the colourful details.

« Can I take your coat? » Kook's voice makes me snap out of my gaze.

« Yes thank you! »

I let my coat slide off my shoulders, revealing my outfit.

I feel stares on me as I do so.

« Well fuck. » says Jimin. « She sure can dress. »

« Um..thanks Jimin. » His comment flustered me, first of all because it's coming from him, secondly because I wasn't expecting that reaction.

« You really look stunning, G. » Kook agrees before leaving me in the middle of the room, with nowhere to go. Tae is gone somewhere else, so I'm just standing there by myself, feeling so tiny in front of these 3 men I don't have any desire to talk to. As I'm still looking around, I notice Namjoon's glare on me. What's his problem? Our eyes meet for a split second before he takes a sip of his beer and turns back to his conversation.

« Here you go, darling. » I sigh in relief at the sound of Tae behind me. I turn to see him handing me a glass of champagne.

« Oh, thank you. »

I grab the glass and just hold it. I really don't want to drink tonight, I know that if I do, I'll be piss drunk given how tired I am.

We finally get news from Hobi, who is on his way up with Yoongi. We all sush and wait for the door to open.

3...2...1

« SURPRISE!! » We all exclaim.

Hobi is looking at Yoongi, waiting for his reaction. He smiles at all of us, but especially at Hobi who looks disappointed.

« Is that all? »

« Babe, you organize this every year, and you say the same thing every year. I knew it was happening, but thank you so much, I love it as always. » Kook, Tae and I giggle since we've anticipated that reaction from him. Yoongi brings Hobi in for a cute kiss, making all our hearts melt.

« But hey, there's another person this year! Look Gina's here! » Hobi says, turning his head to look at me. « Who looks fucking amaZIIIING, oh my god, girl! »

« Thanks for being here guys, and Gina too. » Yoongi tells us calmly, being his normal self. « Right, who's getting me a drink? » I giggle, but the others look at him, waiting for the joke. « What I can't take advantage of today? It's my day, so someone go get me a drink. »

Namjoon stands up « Fine. Whiskey? »

« On the rocks. » Yoongi confirms.

« Yeah, yeah, we know. » Namjoon answers ironically.

We're now all sitting in the living room, talking and laughing. I'm staying safely between Kook and Tae, while Jin and Jimin are on the opposite couch, Yoongi is talling to Namjoon on the last couch, and Hobi is going around the room being the perfect guest pleaser. He keeps on insisting to bring me another glass of champagne, but I stand my ground. I drank one glass, and now Îm sticking to water. Which I need to evacuate by the way.

« I'm just going to head to the bathroom real quick. » I tell the boys.

I follow Kook's directions into the only hallway leading out of the living room. After my business is done, I check myself out in the bathroom mirror. It's true, I do look good.

As I walk out the door, I bump into a hard chest. I instantely know it's Namjoon. I recognize his scent. A mix of Tom Ford perfume and just a tad of cigarette.

I turn around, and just as I guessed, I'm faced with his torso. I look up to him, only to see his eyes locked into mine.

« You should watch where you going. » He says, in a low voice.

I gulp. That voice is sending shivers down my spine. Just as I suspected, the slightest amount of alcohol is affecting me already. I pull it together.

« And you shouldn't be waiting behind doors. » I answer back, raising an eyebrow at him.

I can feel my legs shake as his gaze is still penetrating my eyes. Ok, yeah, he's hot. Especially like this, his white hair slicked back, his loose shirt letting his muscular chest appear.

I won't break the gaze. He won't win this, even though it's so hard to stay this way, my back against the door and his big figure towering me.

He finally breaks the silence, but not the stare.

« May I use the bathroom? »

« Oh, uh, yeah sure » I move to the side to let him through, but my weak legs can't seem to carry me anymore. I feel my balance leave my body but his hand catches my arm just as I'm about to ungracefully fall onto the ground. His skin against mine feels like an electric shot rushing through my body, all the way to.. well, you guess where.

He sets me back up on my two feet and lets go once he sees I'm stable.

« As I said, watch where you're going. » He says before letting himself in the bathroom.

It takes me a few seconds to gather myself. I shake my head and make my way back to the living room where Hobi stops me.

« Babe, you good? You look like you've seen a ghost. »

« No I'm good. » I tell him, raising an eyebrow at him. I also notice Kook and Tae staring at me, probably wondering the same thing as Hobi.

« Guys, I'm fine! Just tired » I smile at them.

« Okay, I guess. » Hobi is not convinced. « Anyway, sit down, we're doing the present. » I follow his instructions while he goes to stand in front of the fireplace, right in the middle of the couches. « Hey everyone! I just need to say something real quick. Wait where's Joon. »

« Bathroom. » I instinctively say, making them all turn their heads to me. « I saw him while I was coming back. » I try to save myself. Of course, Hobi, Tae and Kook are looking at each other, trying to figure out how that plays in the fact that I looked shaken.

« Joon, hurry please, Hobi wants to speak! » Yoongi says. It's clear that he's tipsy right now, he's louder that usual.

« I'm here, go ahead Hoba. » Namjoon appears from the corridor, still fixing his outfit from his bathroom run. He straight up stares at me while going back to his seat. I feel the two boys around me intrigued about what they just saw.

« Ok, cool. » Hobi starts. « I would like to raise my glass to Yoongi. Babe, I wish you a very hapy birthday, here's to many more.» Everyone raises their glass with Hobi. « I know you don't like presents buuuut we all chipped in to get you something you've wanted for a while. Before you say anything, please follow me outside. » We all go, already knowing what it is, but wanting to see Yoongi's reaction.

« Ta-daaah! » Hobi says, revealing a brand new barbecue.

« Wooooow! » Yoongi exclaims. He really loves it. « Thanks everyone! You really didn't have to. »

« Of course we did. » says Hobi.

« I can't wait to use this bad boy. I'll make you all dinner sometime. »

Hobi is happy, at least he wasn't expecting the present.

We all stay outside for a bit, the fresh air helping the drunk ones sober up. Jin and Yoongi are in awe of the barbecue, while the others are having a chat around them. I slip myself away to go lean on the edge and admire the view. I could never get sick of it.

I hear them go back inside one by one, but feel someone coming towards me.

« Hey, Gina. »

« Hey Yoongi. Happy birthday. »

« Thank you. Hobi said you chipped in for my present? » I nod. « You didn't have to. »

« I wanted to. »

« Well thank you. And thank you for helping Hobi out when he needed it. »

« Of course! It makes me so happy to see you guys now. But don't keep him away from me for too long! » I joke, making him smirk.

« I promise. I just don't believe it's real yet, so I don't want to let go of him. »

« It is Yoongi, he's yours. »

He sighs and smiles while looking at the view for a few seconds. We stand there side by side admiring the lights coming from all over Seoul.

« Hey by the way, » he says « I know we haven't talked much since we had dinner together, but you do know you can count on me right? I've heard what happened with Jin, and just wanted to let you know that I'm here. I'm not the talkative type in case you haven't noticed. » We both giggle. « But that doesn't mean I'm not there for you. »

« Thanks Yoongi, I really appreciate that. » and  I do. His words send a calming wave through my body. « Same goes for you. »

« Thanks. »

We don't need to talk. Just being there with each other is comforting to us.

« I'm going to head back inside before Hobi goes around asking where I am. »

« It might be too late for that. » I say as I hear his voice from inside. « Where's Yoongi? »

« That's my cue! »

I smile as I watch him go back inside, and see Hobi rush to him as he does.

« There you are! I've been looking all over fo-» I hear him say before Yoongi pulls him in for a passionate kiss.

The way they look at each other after that kiss makes my stomach tighten. I want that too.

Fuck, now I'm emotional. I reach my hand into my bag to grab a cigarette. Yeah, I started smoking again. I light it up and stare at the moon while smoking. I start humming without noticing.

Moonchild, don't cry. When moon rise, it's your time.

« That's beautiful. »

I jump at the sound of Namjoon's voice. « Fuck, you scared me. » I say turning to him. « And you made me drop my cigarette. » I add, realizing that it's no longer in my hand but probably lying on the sidewalk all the way down.

« You need to chill. »

« Please don't start. » I show my back to him and start looking for another cigarette.

« Here. » he hands one to me and lights it up once I have it in my mouth.

« Thanks. » I proceed to walk to the other side of the balcony.

After a few minutes of silence, I hear him getting ready to talk.

« What were you singing? » He half shouts, given the distance I put between us.

« A song. » I let him know, looking at him with a smirk on my face. I'm being a smart-ass I know. But it worked. His jaw is clenched, indicating that I pissed him off. It makes him look hotter too. Not that I care though.

« I figured. What is it? » He asks harshly. I guess his love for music is stronger than his hate for me.

I take my time to answer, appreciating the last drags of my cigarette.

« None of your business. » I point out as put my cigarette out, staring him down before turning my heels and going back inside. I saw the annoyance in his eyes, and still feel it on me as I'm walking away. He didn't get what he wanted this time.

I spot Kook on the other side of the room.

« Hey, I'm going to head home, where did you put my coat again? »

« Oh I'll get it for you! »

« Leaving so soon? » I turn around and see Jin walking towards me.

« Go away, Jin. »

« I asked you a question. »

« Jin. Get the fuck away from her. » Tae shouts from the other side of the room, making Jimin and Hobi look at us.

« Relax, we're just talking. » Jin answers. He's clearly drunk.

« I have nothing to say to you. » I let him know, in case he hadn't understood yet.

« Ok, what the fuck happened here? » Jimin asks.

« What happened is that Gina is an ungrateful bitch. » I notice Jungkook grabbing onto Tae who is ready to jump on Jin.

« Excuse me? Wow, ok. You should look in a mirror Jin. » I spit at him before turning my heels.

« Oh, I see. » says Jimin. « Jin was a dick once again. »

« Exactly. » I answer, putting my coat on.

« Hey don't leave, we were talking. What was it about the mirror? I already know how handsome I am. » That would of made me laugh a week ago, but now it just grosses me out.

« Hey, Jin, let it go. » We turn to Namjoon who is standing at the balcony door. Jin walks away from me his hands in the air as if he was getting arrested.

« Right, I'm leaving guys, have a good evening. Thanks for inviting me Hobi. » I take him into my arms.

« You know I'm calling you tomorrow right? I need to know what happened here. As soon as I'm done taking care of my drunk baby. »

« No problem. Say bye to Yoongi for me. »

Kook and Tae walk me back to the door and bring me in their arms as goodbye.

« Call us if you need anything. » Kook says.

« I know. »

« Anything. » says Tae. Ok, angry Tae is scary.

« I will, I promise. Bye guys. »

« Bye, G. »

[pomomos]

Buyers Beware!! I've head to deal with three years of lies, don't go thru what I went thru!

My patience is officially maxed out and at this point I don't even care if I get my item or not. I've been scammed and I get that now (took me long enough right?) and I know I'm well within my right to expose the person who got my money and denied me the item I paid for.

This all started back in 2017. I was shopping on Etsy looking for a dress for my 1/6 girl and I came across a really cute shop that specialized in Blythe clothes. I knew my girl was smaller in the chest and wider in the hips so I figured that I could buy a loose Blythe dress for her and it would fit well enough. I've done that before in the past and the Blythe seamstresses I've purchased from before have all been a joy to buy from. So I went ahead and purchased a dress, as is, and I figured worst case scenario, I could put it on a vinyl fashion doll and still be happy that I have a cute dress. Well, that was just a straight fantasy that I was living because my plans never came to be 🙃

After waiting for my dress to come I decided "hey, why not try to message the girl and see what the holdup is!" And that's how I got held hostage in a THREE YEAR LONG CONVERSATION over my dress that's "totally going to be sent to me soon!" And here it is, not cropped out and only edited to hide personal information. Pay attention to the dates too.

Click for better resolution. (Anyone who has a hard time reading, feel free to message me and I'll send you the receipts thru your DM or a transcript)

She theb sends me the pics of the dress that she made and swore up and down that all she needed to do was close the back and it's as good as mine!! But the very funny thing is that the pics she sent me it 99.9% NOTHING like the pic advertising the dress I BOUGHT!

Literally the only thing that's similar is the pattern. It's a completely different cut. Completely different buttons. Completely different pearls. Completely different lace. It's just not what I ordered from a supposedly "in stock" item.

And honestly, I'll take the blame for this because I told her I was ok with it. Because to be honest, I was. I don't HATE IT hate it. It's ok for what it is. And after a year of her playing me I knew that PayPal claim wasn't going to happen so I took my loss for what it was because I thought at least I was gonna get something right? WRONG! All I got was more of her lies.

Here's where you can tell she clearly got sick of me 😊 guess I'm such an annoying naggy rude mouthy customer huh? I guess all the times I said thank you and have her compliments and asked about her life was just too much for her to deal with so obviously the best thing for both of us was for her to ghost me ❤️

Well after she went silent I did something that I should have done a long time ago. I did a little research on her. (I'm not winning any genius awards anytime soon and I had so much faith in her for years and I can admit that I should have looked her up after the first few convos.)

So I search for her and I found out that little miss is a very busy business woman! Apparently she has store fronts all over the place! AND ON TOP OF THAT!!!!! She's apparently a very sought after dealer who is always in constant communication with the people she deals for and the businesses she's buys from. She's also super active on her Instagram account and even posted on it a day after I sent her my last message on Etsy. Guess getting those sweet likes is more important then giving someone the item you sold to them years ago.

And after my sluething I found one of her store fronts accepts questions thru her email so I absolutely hit that shit up and I snapped on her. (The ordering got a little bit funky so I made sure to number everything)

So after all that, after one last lie then her finally giving up and offering to refund me, the three year ordeal is "over". And to my great surprise she actually did! After all this time she actually sent €33.45 my way! Not before making me wait of course. She sent it to me this morning after I already asked for a refund on the 1st, but hey, baby steps right? (At least she didn't force me to wait until 2023 for the stuff she owes me lol)

But really, I'm just so tired of this run around. I hate that I've been this stupid and gullible and nice. I hate myself for being forgiving and understanding to such a liar and a scammer. She never gave a damn about me but for some reason I kept giving her nothing but kindness. I don't know what it was about me and my order that it wasn't good enough for her attention and effort, but that's all over and done with now.

Weather or not I get the item now is irrelevant. If me exposing her can save someone of the headache of having to deal with Estefania/Felicity then I can at least feel good about that. Here's the shops to avoid and the social media to block.

This nightmare that she made me live thru is now over and done with. I can breathe in a sigh of relief. It was a very sobering learning moment and I know from now on not to be trusting or hopefully with ANYONE I buy from. I hate that I have to feel like this now, but the rose colored glasses are off for good.

I finally get it now.

[katedrakeohd]

#Wacky Drabbles No. 11

Happy Birthday Drake

Prompt: " Did you have fun? "

Rated: (M 18+)

Pairing: Damien Nazario × Drake Walker

Tagging wacky drabblers:

@emceesynonymroll @jovialyouthmusic @sirbeepsalot @dcbbw @speedyoperarascalparty @bbrandy2002 @jessiembruno @brightpinkpeppercorn @mfackenthal @qween-corgis @gardeningourmet @pedudley

Word count: no idea, cuz I wrote it here.

____________

Drake woke up tangled in hotel sheets. Stretching out his limbs lazily with a sigh, the throbbing in his head reminded him of last night's drinking binge.

Rolling over toward his bed partner, he hugs the pillow against his stubbled cheek and gazes into a face with a pair of chocolatey brown eyes and a sleepy smile.

"Good morning Mr. Nazario." He drawls with a smirk.

Damien leans over placing his warm hand on Drake's rough cheek, bringing him in for a soft kiss. "Good morning to you too hot stuff."

Drake kicks off what's left of the sheet, sliding his foot over to nudge against Damien's shin. "Hot stuff huh?"

Tilting his head back to take in Drake's naked profile in the morning light, Damien swallows as his breath catches in his throat. Memories of the drunken night before come back to him in hot passionate flashes of skin on skin.

----

It had been Drake's Birthday, and they'd been at a bar. They were just two anonymous guys at first, nursing tumblers of whiskey and watching the room as they sat on barstools. As the evening wore on and sweaty drunken people wandered over from the dance floor to order mixed drinks full of more ice than alcohol, he and Drake had outlasted them all.

Drake was on his third double whiskey and feeling fairly buzzed and relaxed when he noticed the man at the other end of the bar watching him. Lifting his glass in greeting, he's met with a slight nod and a grin from the other guy.

Damien had been casually watching the tall handsome devil all evening. He'd seen busty drunk girls sidle up to him and flirt but get brushed off with a shake of his head or a sullen frown. He had found it odd that someone so desirable could be so unwilling to accept a date. When the younger man had finally lifted his glass and made eye contact, he'd felt a sizzle of attraction and couldn't help but smile back. It had been a while since Damien had shared the company of a man so attractive, and he decided to take the leap and introduce himself. After downing the rest of his whiskey he fished a handful of bills out of his wallet and placed them on the bar and set his glass on top.

Walking around the corner of the bar, he notices the other guy glance at him and then look away. When he nervously rubs the back of his neck and then shifts his gaze down to the floor, it makes Damien smile. He knows I'm coming over for him.

Damien stops a few feet away, putting a barstool between them and then catches the attention of the bartender. "Excuse me barkeep, what kind of payment does the pool table over there take?"

"It takes coins," Drake interrupts, tossing back the last of his whiskey.

"Wanna play?" Damien asks, with a grin.

Drake gives the man with the dark hair and soulful eyes a quick sweep with his gaze, trying to gauge if he was flirting or just bored. With the amount of alcohol thrumming through his veins at this point his inhibitions were pretty low and he didn't care either way.

"Okay, sure. It's my lucky day and I'm feeling generous so I'll buy the first game."

Damien nods, slapping down a few bills on the bar. "Ok, if you buy the game I'll buy the beers."

Pushing away from the bar, Drake smiles. "Works for me. I'm Drake by the way."

Damien picks up the bottles of beer and then jerks his head in the direction of the table. "Damien. Lead the way."

Taking a sip from the bottle, Damien followed Drake across the room, appreciating the way his straight leg jeans hugged his ass and thighs. That sizzle of attraction buzzed through his veins again, and he took another sip of beer to cool the heat crawling through his belly. Setting the bottles on a side table, Damien peels off his leather jacket and then unbuttons and rolls up his sleeves. He felt very warm and wished he'd opted to wear a tshirt like Drake had. Taking another swallow of beer, he opens the top button on his dress shirt.

Drake shoves his hand in the front pocket of his jeans searching for coins to pay for their game. Damien's eyes are drawn down to his groin and the way he adjusts himself slightly as he digs for coins. Sweet Jesus, the way he fills out his jeans. Or maybe it's just the layers of denim and zipper giving an illusion of more? Fuck, it's indecent the shape of what he's packing.

Drake catches him looking and clears his throat, sending Damien's gaze back up to focus on his face. "So I come to this place often but haven't seen you here before."

Damien leans against the table, crossing his arms across his chest. He hesitates a moment, wondering what to tell Drake about himself. "I'm not from here, just passing through between jobs."

Drake takes in the worn quality of Damien's clothing, the scuff on his boots, trying to decipher what he did for a living. There was a slight wrinkle to his cotton shirt as if it hadn't been folded up or seen a hanger for a while. Damien's style wasn't that much different than his own. Wash and wear, throw on the floor, then wear again.

Damien startles Drake out of his idle thoughts, the whiskey was evidently starting to make his mind fuzzy around the edges.

"So you said it was your lucky day. What's so special about today?"

Drake smiles as he puts coins in the pay slot of the pool table and releases the balls for play. "Oh yeah, I said that didn't I? It's my Birthday today."

After Drake straightens back up, Damien claps him hard on the shoulder, and smiles, "Really? Hey that's great man, Happy Birthday."

Drake nods, his shoulder tingling from the slap. He'd only been touched that way by his friends. And for some reason he felt excited about how Damien's slap made his skin tingle. Sucking in a deep breath, he grabs the ball frame and arranges the pool balls on the table for play. "Uh, Okay..Damien. Go grab a couple of cues and let's play."

What was it about this guy that made me want to do things I've never done before? Maybe it's the way he keeps looking at me like I'm a snack. He's so smooth and charming, and commanding but not in a rude or condescending sort of way like I'm used to hearing from the nobility. I kind of like it.

An hour, and three beers each later, Drake was up two games to one. Was Damien really that bad a player or was he just sloppy from the alcohol?

They'd joked about random stuff, talked about women and argued about whose favorite teams were better, ranging from football, baseball to basketball and beyond.

They hadn't realized how late it was until the bar was empty, and the lights went up. The bartender thumped his hand on the bar to get their attention, "Alright guys, it's closing time. You have a tab, now settle it. Call a taxi, stagger home, or whatever, I don't care. But you can't stay here."

Drake looked at Damien's grinning face, and the glassy luster of his eyes. He looked about as drunk as Drake felt. Shrugging into his leather jacket, Damien pulls his wallet out of his pocket and hands it to Drake. "Here, pay the man I gotta go take a piss."

Drake's mouth drops open, as he watches Damien shuffle his way to bathroom at the back of the bar. Glancing over at the collection of empty beer bottles on the table, he reluctantly opens the wallet and tries not to look at anything personal. Damien has an impressive wad of cash. There was a mixture of Euros, American and Canadian. Who was this guy?

Drake grabs a bunch of Euros and hands them to the bartender, stealing a glance at his ID before closing the wallet. Damien Nazario, New York City.

There was some other sort of identification card that Drake didn't get a good look at in time before he saw Damien returning from the bathroom.

"All paid up?" Damien asks as Drake nods and hands him back his wallet.

The bartender folds his arms across his chest, giving his head a jerk in the direction of the door. Time to get the fuck out.

Drake and Damien both wave goodbye to the bartender and follow eachother out into the cool evening air. Drake gasps involuntarily, the cool air sobering him up somewhat because he hadn't worn a jacket.

Damien glances up and down the deserted street, not seeing a taxi stand or bus stop in sight. Drake's shoulders are hunched and he has his hands shoved deep in his pockets. He looked cold. Damien bites his lip, considering their options. He didn't feel like going back to his hotel alone, and he didn't want to see Drake wander off cold and alone on his Birthday either.

Pulling off his jacket he offers it to Drake. "Here you can borrow this. I dunno if we're the same size, but at least you won't be so cold."

Drake looks at Damien, feeling unsure. Offering a jacket to your companion is usually a date night sort of thing. Was Damien suddenly his date? They had just spent the evening drinking and playing pool together, but just by chance. It wasn't a date.

Damien raises his eyebrows in question, "Well? You want it or not? You can walk me back to my hotel and then hand it back."

Drake shrugs, "Yeah, what the Hell. We're just two guys walking up the street together. Nothing unusual about that right?"

"Right."

Drake slides his arms into Damien's leather jacket. It smelled of his cologne, sweat and coffee. Things that were uniquely Damien. Drake liked how it smelled. It was a little tight in the shoulders so Drake didn't zip it up. He appreciated the kind gesture, and it was full of Damien's body heat, which was oddly exciting.

"Thanks." He says, falling into step next to Damien as they head up the sidewalk.

As they walk, Damien did up the buttons of his shirt and unrolled his sleeves to keep himself from getting cold. Although they had spent the past hour together, Damien was only now realizing how much taller Drake was than him. A couple of inches for sure. And in his jacket he came off as broader and bigger as well. This only made Damien want him more. If only for one night, to make Drake's Birthday one to remember.

They don't talk as they walk together. Both entertaining their own thoughts over where this night may be heading. As they approach the front doors of the Hotel, Damien stops walking and grabs Drake by the forearm and pulls him into the dark alley. Drake is off balance as Damien pulls him close and whispers in his ear. "Happy Birthday Drake, did you have fun tonight?"

Struck speechless by the heat of his breath in his ear, all Drake can do is nod.

Damien's voice is a low rumble as he says, "The fun doesn't have to stop yet."

continued...here

[cashtonwoah-blog]

Ashton Irwin, A Million Miles, Part 3

I finally got around to writing this part! Sorry it sucks, enjoy!

*beep beep*

*beep beep*

I could hear machines around me beeping. I attempted to crack open my eyes, and was met by an unpleasant bright light. I attempted to lift my head, but felt dizzy as my head moved from the pillow.

" baby don't move" I could hear someone say to me softly beside me. I attempted to lift my head again to see who was speaking, but felt an incredible amount of pain. I decided to shut my eyes, feeling tears fill them. I could faintly see a shadow casting over my eyes. I opened my eyes, and was met by a Hazel eyed boy staring at me.

"Ash?" I mumbled.

The boy sighed deeply, smiling as he looked at me.

"Y/N, I'm glad you're okay".

"What happened? I remember we were eating breakfast, then we argued and then I went back to the flat an-" I mumbled.

"You had an asthma attack. A serious one" Ashton interrupted. "I managed to get into your apartment just after you collapsed and carried you here to the hospital".

"Oh" I mumbled. I looked up at my surroundings, and all of a sudden felt stiff, like I couldn't move my body.

"They put your neck in a brace just in case, I heard you collapse as I ran to your apartment stairs, you hit the glass dining table as you fell" he said.

"Am I gonna be okay?" I questioned, feeling scared.

"You're gonna be just fine, kid" he replied, smiling and running a finger along my cheek. "Look, about what happened, I-"

"Ash, just forget it. Yeah you hurt me, but maybe we should just let it go for now, at least until I'm out of here" I replied sighing.

"Okay" was all he could reply.

************

"Welcome home Y/N!" I heard the other 5SOS boys scream as you entered the flat. I looked around, and could see all of the boys with their girlfriends, plus gifts and food on the table.

"Thanks guys, but you didn't need to throw a party because I live another day" I laughed.

"We're just glad you're home safe" Calum spoke, handing me a card signed by all the boys.

"We've bought you food, we'll leave you both in peace to chat" Luke said softly, not making eye contact at me. I could feel his awkwardness around me. Ever since our last conversation, I'd chose to ignore him. He was supposed to be my best friend and he didn't ever tell me when my boyfriend cheated on me. I didn't know how I was going to forgive him. All the boys and their girlfriends left the flat, leaving just Ashton and me.

"So" Ashton sighed awkwardly.

"Yup" I replied, sitting down on the couch.

"Listen, I really want to talk to you about what happened" Ashton said, looking directly at me. My eyes scanned to the floor, feeling anxious to hear what came out of his mouth next.

"Okay" was all I could manage to say. Part of me wanted to know exactly what happened, whilst the other part didn't want any thoughts associated with it.

Ashton took a deep breath, walked over to me and sat on the sofa next to me.

"It was after a show in New York. We'd just played a sell out arena and was feeling amazing, but I felt low because you weren't with me. I sat looking at the other boys who got to share such a special concert with their other half's, but not me. I decided to get stupid wasted, drinking copious amounts of beer, vodka, champagne, you name it. It wasn't until I stood up I realised how drunk I was. I stumbled over to the bathroom, and met some girl in the corridor. She was wearing one of our merch tops that was ripped on her chest. She asked me to sign her chest, which I did".

I clenched my teeth at the last part.

"She then pushed me into a corner, wrapping her arms around my neck, asking if I was single. Me being so drunk and wanting this girl to get off me, I said yes. She then proceeded to kiss me, and wouldn't get off. I then pushed her off me, and stumbled back to my apartment. I walked in the front entrance and saw her, the fan. She then invited her self in, and, um, well-"

"I think I can guess what happened next Ashton" I spoke, standing up and walking to my bedroom. I could feel my eyes beginning to form with tears, knowing what this girl had done with him. I felt sick. Yes Ashton had cheated on me, but this girl took him when he was vulnerable.  I walked back into the room, and was met by a sobbing Ashton on the sofa. I walked over to him, wrapping my arms tightly around his back in a hug. I cried onto his shoulder, unsure what to say.

"Y/N please don't think badly of me. I'm so fucking sorry for everything I put you through because I ended it, but in truth I just couldn't face anyone".

"Ashton" I sobbed, not wanting him to continue talking. All I could do was embrace him, stop him from feeling upset.

"This so called fan turned up at another one of our after shows, but this time I was sober. Luke however wasn't, and decided to throw his entire drink over her and kick her out, as well as blacklist her from every party, event or concert. I'm just mad at myself for letting her do this to us. I'm so sorry".

********

"Fuck sake Ash!" I could hear Luke scream at the other side of the field. I laughed from the side lines, watching the boys play football. We were in Madrid, and 5SOS had just played a gig in the city. I decided to join the boys on tour, to clear my head following the past few months. Ashton and I had decided to take some time apart before the tour, to allow ourselves to both mentally heal. Now on tour, we felt stronger than ever.

"Y/N come in goal!" Calum screamed at me, beckoning me over to the pitch. I laughed, running over to the goal. On Calum's team was Michael, Crystal, Sierra and now me. On Luke's team was Ashton, Andy, Mitchy and Jack, Luke's brother. I watched steady from the goal, unable to track where the ball would go to next. I laughed as Ashton tackled Calum hard, making him fall to the ground.

"HEY, foul!" I shouted from my goal.

"Shut up Y/N, stop pretending you know the rules of football" Mitchy shouted.

"HEY don't talk to her like that" Ashton laughed, roughly tackling Mitchy to the floor.

******

I sat round the table, pouring myself another glass of wine. Ashton had requested to take me out for dinner tonight, and I couldn't decline. The restaurant was a beautiful small place with fairy lights everywhere, just along the beach front.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry I put you through everything recently. It wasnt my intention to hurt you." Ashton said sadly.

"Ash, as I've said to you before, it's all OK. You don't need to keep apologising." I reassured him, placing my hand over his, giving it a light squeeze.

"We're good, right?" Ashton said.

"Of course we are babe, now eat your dinner, don't let it get cold" I said, taking another sip of my wine.

[alliswell21]

Alright, so as continuation for where Katniss is drunk and admits to Peeta about them being a cute couple, here are my prompts. Prompt 134 "Was I really that drunk?" Prompt 182 "I've wanted this for so long" and Prompt 163 "Fuck me"pretty please!

Ok @amazinglovers747, I hope I’m giving you what your heart desires with this one! Thank you for the prompts!!! 😘

>>——->

I’m jolted awake by a soft knock. My head shoots up alert and frantic just to find Mrs. Everdeen with one hand on the wide open door knob and the other clutching the strap of her purse. She’s wearing scrubs, which means she’s heading out to work.

“Morning Peeta.” She says uneasy but firm.

“Mrs. E! This isn’t—“

She stops me by raising a hand. “I just wanted to thank you for bringing Katniss home last night, and taking care of her when she puked.”

I grimace. It wasn’t pretty and Katniss was kind of pitiful. Of course I helped her. I’m about to say something but she stops me again.

“I texted your dad and let him know you crashed here after the party. It’s fine to stay anytime is too late, Peeta. Just remember that although you’re college kids now, we parents still worry. Also, I know you’re a complete gentleman an everything a mom could ever want for her daughter’s best friend, but next time, please take the couch?” She says fidgeting.

“Moooom…” Katniss groans next me. She rolls over under the covers so she’s facing me. “It’s Peeta! He’s welcome in my bed whenever!” She throws her arm across my chest, and I’m not sure if it’s to make a point or if she’s still out of it.

I would’ve guess she expelled every last drop of alcohol last night when she retched half her lungs. We almost didn’t make it to the bathroom. It was lucky I was still sitting next to her when she first jerked up saying she was gonna hurl, but to be honest, this attitude isn’t very normal either.

Mrs Everdeen rolls her eyes a little annoyed. She knows Katniss will do what she wants, and there’s little she can say to her as a mom to dissuade her. She pretty much lost that right when she succumbed to depression and Katniss had to step up as head of the family. Mrs E still tries to be motherly sometimes though.

“We will talk about this drinking business later, Katniss. You’re still 18 and Prim looks up to you.” Says Mrs E. sternly. Katniss grunts on my chest. Then the older woman turns back to me, “Peeta, dear, I doubt Katniss will be up to fix any breakfast but if you’re hungry, I’m sure you’d be more than able to whip up something to eat. Feel free to help yourself to anything you want.”

“Oh, um… thank you ma’am. For calling my father and… everything.”

She nods, stares at us in bed for second, shakes her head and is gone.

Katniss lifts her head and groans again. “Was I really that drunk?”

I chuckle, combing my fingers through her lose hair. “Yeah… it wasn’t a pretty sight either.” I forget myself for a second when she nods and her head thuds back on my chest, and I bring my arm around her shoulders and squeeze her to me.

She sighs, nuzzling her nose into my shoulder.

“How come you smell so good? I smell so bad right now.” She wonders, which leads me to believe she hasn’t gain her sober filters yet.

“I didn’t get drunk beyond reason,” I giggle.

“No… you always smell sweet. Like cinnamon and dill. I wish I could smell you all day…”

Before anything else gets said between us, she’s back to snoring softly. I detangle myself from her. It wasn’t as difficult, since she was under the covers and I was on top of them, giving us a layer of separation. She frowns, but rolls over and keeps sleeping.

I set to make us both breakfast. Mrs. E left a note telling Katniss she should drink lots of fluids, and take Tylenol as needed from the bathroom medicine cabinet plus other stuff that couldn’t wait for the end of her shift. After a while, I hear Katniss shuffling around somewhere in her room, and then the door to her shared bathroom with her sister opens and closes. I put her out of my mind while mixing ingredients and beating some eggs. I’m flipping the last pancake in my batch, when she trudges into the kitchen, hair dripping wet, wearing my discarded polo shirt from last night and tiny shorts.

My heart rate spikes looking at her. She’s swimming in my shirt and I can barely see the cuffs of her shorts under the hem of my polo, but I believe she’s the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. She rubs her bleary eyes adorably and pouts as she sits on the kitchen island.

“Hey…” she greets.

“Hey!” I answer smiling. “How are you feeling?” I ask her setting a cup of apple juice in front of her and two Tylenol.

“M’kay, I guess.” She swallows the pills and chugs the juice in two gulps. “My head feels cottony, but at least I don’t have a splitting headache, and after my shower, and my change of clothes… I feel loads better.” She rubs her nose against her shoulder, on my shirt, and sniffs it.

My heart stutters.

I don’t comment on it though. Instead, I smile placing a plate full of eggs, bacon and pancakes before her. “Eat, and there’ll be no trace of last night… almost…” I laugh.

She scowls, but Katniss Everdeen doesn’t waste food, and she eats with gusto. She asks about her sister, and I hand her the note from her mother, where she explains Prim was spending the weekend with her friend Rue. Then, I gather the dishes and start washing them, and suddenly, her small, delicate hands slide around my waist from behind. My breath hitches. She’s never in her life done anything like that. Not to me, not to anyone!

“Katniss?” I ask in a shaky voice, “What are you doing?”

She circles around, squeezing between me and the sink coiling her arms around my neck. “Trying to be a cute couple with my… boyfriend?” Her voice pitches higher on the last word.

We hold each other’s gazes for a second, and then our lips come together tentatively. After a few tiny pecks, I dry my hands on my jeans, and cup her face to deepen the kisses. She sighs against my lips, and opens her mouth to me when my tongue prods. We finally come up for air, panting and staring at each other, and then we are laughing together and kissing some more.

“I’ve wanted this for so long.” I say caressing her cheeks with my thumbs.

“Why haven’t you, then?”

I shrug, “Because you can be a little intimidating when you scowl.”

We both laugh and kiss again. After a while, when we separate, I look down at her choice of outfit.

“You know, I kinda like how you look in this,” I say tugging at the collar of my polo shirt, “but you may wanna change into something else, this one’s got a bit puke on it. That’s why I took it off and stayed in my undershirt.”

I laugh when Katniss scrunches her nose in disgust. But then my mouth goes slack when she pushes me away and whips the shirt up over her head. She doesn’t have a stitch of clothing on besides her tiny shorts. I think my eyes are going to pop out of my head looking at her bare chest. I have the good sense to bring my reluctant eyes to her face, and notice just how much bravery this is costing her. Normally, Katniss is modest and reserved, but right now there’s a stubborn determination screwed up in purse of her lips, and the deep breaths she’s inhaling.

“You are absolutely gorgeous.” I tell her seriously.

Then she realizes we’re still standing in the middle of the kitchen, and her face flushes. She brings my shirt up to cover up, and I pull her into my arms to shield her as well.

“Let’s go back to bed,” she whispers lowly.

“I-I don’t think that’s such a good idea, Katniss… not when you’re half naked, and… you have no idea the effect you’re having on me right now—“

She presses into me finding just how much she’s affecting me, squeaking a little giggle, while I groan. “I think I have an idea,” she says peering up at me.

I’m speechless. This new side of Katniss is about to make come undone.

“Come on, Peeta,” she purrs. “Part of being a cute couple is being naked together in bed.”

I almost choke on my own saliva. “Are you- really? Um… will you… is that…?” I’m not sure what to ask, because this just can’t be happening so fast and effortlessly. I never thought Katniss would be willing to do something like this with me, and my brain is going on overdrive.

She smiles sweetly, a smile that I know and recognize, and that’s what makes me relax.

“I’m sure, Peeta. Plus my mother said to help yourself to anything you wanted,” She takes my hand leading me back to her bedroom with a sly smile.

“I don’t think she was referring to that! and you just killed the mood.” I grouch.

“Did I?” She turns around, kisses me coyly and runs her hand slowly down my front, from my chest to my groin.

I buck into her hand, all comments of her mother are instantly erased and I’m hard as iron. This time we close the door tightly behind us. She tosses my shirt on her desk, shucking off her bottoms while I trip over myself to follow suit. Once we’re both undressed and staring at each other’s body, lightly caressing and discovering each other’s skins, she licks her lips and mumbles.

“Fuck me…”

“Yes ma’am,” I say right before tackling her onto the mattress.

Our very first time is messy, full of giggles, and just a little awkward. It perfect! And I can’t wait to do it again.