#OK IN ALL SERIOUNESS K WOULD LOVE MORE FROWNING N BRO

[ro4dlj]

SOMEONE TAKE MY TABLET AWAY FROM ME

' Angsty rebellious disassembly drone '

[merlinthoughts]

Season 1 Episode 4 - The Poisoned Chalice

- god fucking dammit here we go again, i'm bloody done with my life and do not, at all, want to see merlin die bc i don't remember anything except that, yeah, he dies and someone has to get off their ass and save the motherfucking day and kiss him

- i realise how much i swear in these posts bc 1. when do i not? 2. i'm emotionally invested 3. i have no other excuse i just like swearing

- AAAND NIMUEHS IN CAMELOT SHE THINKS SHE'S SO SLY WITH HER HEAD THING

- id recognise her in a split second tbfh, she aint subtle

- *heterosexual tension*

- merlins skin be looking so smooth this episode, this boy be wearing lots of Dove

- he looked so excited to be in the banquet, then arthur just fucking slashes him with “not quite” and his hopes and dreams are destroyed

- “wanna see what you’ll be wearing tonight?” arthur says as he's behind the fucking changing curtains, about to get undressed and show merlin his birthday suit

- i honest to god thought that was where he was going, but no, he was just getting something from behind it

- “tonight you’ll be wearing the official ceremonial robes of the servants of camelot” IT'S A FUCKING DRESS ISN'T IT

- aw damn id have preferred a dress

- that smile shared between them was the most adorable scene

- god

- i

- fucking

- love

- their

- smiles 

- sm

- best thing ive ever seen

- i mean… hunty look at that piece of glistening butter beauty

- wow ok back to the episode:

- bros being bros and giving each other a handshake to destroy the mortal enemy pack and put together a family, we stan.

- as if a servant who has only had eye sex with another servant ONCE would trust them enough to say that one of the chalices were poisoned. like??? “ur the only one i could tell” LMAO NO?

- she's a sly fucking dog tfbh

- “if he kills arthur, uthers soul will be broken and camelot will fall” at this rate uther prob wouldn't care if his son dies or not, look at him, he's already mentally broken. he has anxiety and paranoia over magic. child services where u at in the medieval ages?

- i wouldn't believe a word she said, or well, id have believed it was poisoned but id say yeah no damn way you aren't in on it if you know which one it is. bayard wouldn't tell a fucking servant.

- HE'S GONNA SNAP ISN'T HE

- MERLIN FUCKING SNAPPED

- yknow what we say here folks? U DO U MERLIN

- okay i was fine if uther made bayard drink it but like the moment uther said “mmmh… no.” and slowly turned to merlin i think my arteries just crunched together and died so

- “if it is poisoned, he’ll die” HE'S FUCKING SCARED MERLIN WILL PASS AWAY ISN'T HE?

- “it's fine” he says, then starts to fucking choke

- ah fuck he's down

- my boy is down

- FUCK ME SIDEWAYS WITH A CHAINSAW

- ARTHUR CROUCHES NEXT TO HIM LIKE “BB NO”

- lmfao bayard looks so shocked, his face is in disbelief and confusion, he's like who tf done me bad

- arthurs carrying merlin fireman style this is what i live for folks

- did like nobody notice the flower stuck on the inside of the cup? like honestly if you take a sip you’d kinda spot it or perhaps even the person pouring the drinks would have been “is this chamomile tea? no? then what the fuckery-doo is this leaf in here for?” yknow. it's like that scene in Matilda when the angry buff lady completely missed a fucking salamander in her cup when it was the size of her bloody hand. it brings out the same mood honestly

- does gaius have an index for these books or does he just have every page memorised and know exactly what page to go bc I FUCKING NEED THAT it would make bio so much easier if i knew what page it was on instead of looking back and forth from the homework sheet to my textbook, then closing it by accident and having to find the index again for that specific page i need

- arthur wants to fucking go on a life-or-death journey to save merlin i've never been so happy

- this is honestly my favourite episode, like it may be really fucking angsty but i love it so much

- arthur betrays his dad and leaves his room even after being told not to just so he can save a servants life is literally my new moto

- NO IT WON'T LOAD MY NETFLIX IS STUCK ON 99%

- okay so while i'm waiting for my shit to load, i just discovered the new fucking tumblr rule starting dec 17 and i'm like 0.2 inches away from just spamming NSFW pics on here just for laughs

- like hunty, that won't stop people from posting elsewhere or for thinking about sex bc like??? whatchu gonna do tumblr?? get the fbi to erase it from our minds

- i think nOT thot

- watch me get flagged for just using the fucking term “NSFW”

- i'm gonna end up asterisking everything (is asterisking a word? wow it has red under it so like probably not but i just added it to my dictionary so uhh it is now)

- by asterisking i dont mean furry kin shit ew no

- i mean like N*FW, s*x, t*mblr, m*rthur

- god it took me like 20 minutes to calibrate my fucking wifi and fix the connection problem

- wow the stage for the poison increased by 75% in 30 mins, damn

- merlins like like having a conniption on his bed lmao, chanting arthurs name and sweating lot

- do we ever find out how uther gets that scar bc i'm like 100% positive arthur was a little child and swayed his fucking sword too hard just as uther rounded the corner. the sword then collided into his fucking brain and destroyed a good part of his intelligence, targeting especially his morals on how to accept people and how to be a good father

- that’s my theory

- merlin starts talking enchantments in his sleep while gwens watching, and gaius is just there like wtf merlin ur blowing ur cover “oh! gwen!! uhhh sorry. he’s just... in a latin study group in his pastime and has an oral presentation in minutes”

- omg, nimueh, stfu

- i didn't know dinosaurs existed back then, this reptile be whack

- y’know what's funny? ppl thinking dinosaurs didn’t exist. i find creationism very very very intriguing bc how fucking stupid could you be

- that sword throw was faker than my moms tits

- arthur could have done better

- k but like what if merlin’s hand wasn’t under the covers? like he was just throwing that blue ball around right in front of gwen

- can arthur like not hear her? nimuehs literally enchanting the rocks right behind his ear lobes and arthur acts nothing of it until those said rocks collapse and he gasps and suddenly he realises shes evil

- also his fucking hair in this scene looks glorious. perhaps bc it's pushed back rather than his bowl cut, but its doing things to my abdomen

- i thought for a second she was pulling off her mask to say “nimueh” and arthur was gasping bc he only recognised her after her hair was shown, just like in that scene with joker and harvey in the hospital

- OH RIGHT THE SPIDERS I LIKE COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT THOSE SONS OF A GUNS

- i’d be dead if those spiders came crawling up to eat me lmfao

- k so nimueh went from :) to >:D in half a second

- i'm smelling up those symbolisms, boys

- watch out pals cause here are some of them:

- merlin is the LIGHT of arthur’s life

- he LIGHTS up the party

- he gives arthur a BRIGHTER future

- he's the GUIDE for his path

- hahhahahaha

- i'm serious when i say i have a huge fear of insects (spiders count in that too, no discrimination) so i'm just putting that there, saying to yall id be fucking terrified

- gaius would be so confused, like we don't see his face here but merlins close-up sweaty concentrated frown, but he’s literally just screaming “ARTHUR!!” “FASTERRR!!” “YESS!!” “CLIMB!!!” gaius would be looking like he walked into something he wasn't supposed to. prob thinking he should just let the kid die so he doesn’t have to deal with this shit anymore

- UTHER LOCKED HIS SON AWAY I'M FUCKING QUESTIONING HIS PARENTING SKILLS

- that's grounding???? throwing ur child in prison???

- yes 999 can i have child services on his ass

- gwens so smart honestly i love her

- pretending to be a maiden for the food, god what a queen

- arthur buying it and saying “yuck you say this is food?! disgustang!”

- the fact that i misspelled disgusting but it autocorrected to disgustang (which is originally what i wanted but autocorrect shouldn’t have known) makes me consider if i should really check my dictionary…. who knows what words are on there

- they’re so smart

- and then this fucker ruins it all while eating his food, checking her out and saying yeah arthurs a prick, hyuck hyuck, realising only that wait fuck u aint the maiden

- how’d they know GWEN was the one not supposed to have delivered the food, what if it was that chick right there???

- welll….. maybe it's because gwen took her sweet time up those steps, staring as if she couldn’t blink at the guards below

- i forget what happens at the end of this episode besides the kiss, and there's like 9 minutes left my fingers may rot at this point

- wake him up! wake him up!

- OH WAIT HE DOESN'T FUCKING WAKE UP DOES HE AND EVERYONE PANICS

- YEAH OKAY I'M SEEING THAT NOW

- MERLIN STOPPED BREATHING

- LMAO GWEN IS IN TEARS

- “HE'S DEAD” SHE SAYS

- ARTHUR BB COME IN HERE TO KISS UR HUBBY ALIVE

- OH WAIT UR IN FUCKING PRISON

- WAIT UP, HE'S ALIVE AND SHE KISSES HIM AFTERWARDS????

- FUCK ME I THOUGHT FOR THE WHOLE EPISODE THE KISS HAPPENED BC HE COULDN'T WAKE UP THAT'S FUCKING WITH ME I DIDN'T KNOW

- i keep forgetting to switch up the cap locks, sorry if it seems im screaming im legit using my inside voice for most of the time just emphasizing my words a little more

- goddamn, everytime they say mercia i just think of “murica”, like those americans on the 7th of july or whatever date the “we love our country” day is, chanting it as they throw around beers and fireworks as people gather round in jerseys or crop tops

- it's not that hard to spot the european on here

- the most celebrated holiday here which contains a lot of beers and big pub gatherings (besides every fucking night honestly) is either new years, lowkey stereotypically correct saint patricks, and ig easter monday but that's more for the kiddos

- i mean ofc christmas and all that shit but im not the most devoted christian, i just like presents and small gatherings among good friends

- wow okay it wasn't the 7th of july

- i mean at first i looked up “USA day” (i couldn’t remember the name) and it popped up today’s date, and i was like no thats not it at all. dec?? its in like july i think. and i was close! it was july 4th.

- uther damn knows it's nimueh!!!

- i mean, he just overheard morgana and arthur talk about it, and initiated himself into a convo about it once morgana left, as his sneaky ass just slithered up like “hey man, u know that woman? yeah uhh, what she say? anything about me? no? k i know who it is tho”

- i thought he was going to apologize or like explain to arthur what's the sitch, but he just waits for five whole seconds before saying. “those who practice magic know only evil. they despise and seek to destroy goodness wherever they find it.”

- arthur, confused: sounds as if you know her

- uther, walking away: i do

- arthur:

- wow k lots of fucking quotes here cause it's the merthur reunion

- get ready babs

- arthur: still alive then?

- merlin: oh yes, just about… i understand i have you to thank for that

- arthur, leaning on the chair merlin is sitting in, stifling a smile: ah it's nothing, a half-decent servant is hard to come by. i was only dropping by to make sure you’re alright… i.... expect you to be back to work tomorrow

- merlin, watching arthur as he slightly walks away having embarrassed himself: arthur... thank you

- arthur, slowly: you too

- they stare for like 5 whole seconds

- arthur, uncomfortable: well… get some rest

- there we go folks: my eulogy.

- hope someone reads it at my funeral

[cannedapricot]

Triwizard Tournament! Kang Daniel | Part 1

my potterhead self is showing fuck

includes a teensy bit of harry potter spoilers!!

kang daniel

there wasn’t a being in the castle who didn’t know his name

the sixth year gryffindor beater who had a swarm of girls following him everywhere?

yeah, that’s him

the sorting hat had contemplated whether to place him in hufflepuff or gryffindor for a while in his first year

the hat was finally about to put him in hufflepuff until danny boy here hoped for gryffindor

the hat sighed lol

“is it because harry potter was in gryffindor?”

“no, the gryffindor animal is a lion right???? and a lion is basically a huge cat!!”

so the hat was like,

“uh, ok kid if that’s how you want it”

and then announced gryffindor to the whole school

everyone thinks that daniel’s a pure blood because??? he looks so natural with magic he must’ve grown up with it

but danik’s a half blood!

his dad was a pure blood who fell in love with a muggle 

but he did indeed grow up with magic

his mom didn’t even care that his dad was a wizard lol 

she was even excited about it!!

so magic was used around the house like any pure blood’s house lmao

“hey dad!! could you pass me the chips?”

“sure!! Wingardium Leviosa!!”

daniel got his first cat when he went shopping for textbooks with his dad in his first year

but fell in love with another cat when he went shopping with ong in his third year

and bought it on a whim

BUT 

you’re only supposed to bring one pet to hogwarts :’)

so ong is forced to say that peter’s his pet in front of teachers :’))

daniel LOVES care of magical creatures

that one student that thinks blast ended skrewts are cute

and whenever daniel starts gushing over them, ong receives so much second hand embarrassment that he pretends to not know daniel

even though the whole school knows that they’re basically the second fred and george weasley 

and so naturally, they were regulars at weasley’s wizard wheezes 

filch hates all of them lmao

this particular year, it was rumored that there would be another triwizard tournament held at hogwarts

nobody knew who started the rumor

but ongniel heard of it the second they stepped foot on platform 9 ¾

they knew what it was obviously

you’d have to be a fresh new muggle born to not know

seongwoo was hYPED ASF

“LISTEN BUDDY,,,, WE HAVE TO TRY GET OUR NAMES IN THE CUP”

daniel just chuckled and went along with it

“it’s not like we’d get chosen anyways”

and lo and behold, after the sorting ceremony,

mcgonagall announces the tournament in a tone of, “i-opposed-to-this-idea-but-the-others-were-all-for-it-so-here-we-are”

she repeats 18305 times that,

“ONLY wizards and witches of the age SEVENTEEN AND OVER may participate”

while glaring at ongniel 

ongniel snickers at this because,

“thERE’S GOTTA BE A WAY TO GET PAST LMAO”

you were a ravenclaw in the same year as daniel

you were also a muggleborn who had no idea that the magical world existed!

so you were curious and excited about everything

you’re eagerness to learn everything about the magical world led you to being sorted into ravenclaw

you were appointed prefect last year and you’d bEEN STOKED!!!!

because being a prefect meant!!!!

thaT THE PROFESSORS!!!

RECOGNIZED YOUR SKILLS!!!!!

you knew daniel of course, you had charms with the gryffindors in fourth year

you had even and shared a desk with daniel 

because flitwick had enough of ongniel and split them up lmao

to your surprise you found daniel not as mischievous as you originally thought 

and you also found yourself getting dragged into pranks with onglniel thanks to you getting along well with niel

“hey guys,,,, we shouldn’t be doing this,,,,”

“come one y/n!! live a little!!”

“bUT WHAT IF WE GET EXPELLED???”

“won’t happen. now keep watch for filch while we set these wet start no heat fireworks up”

you just stand there flabbergasted while daniel sends you the cutest smile

ong was way too busy with the fireworks to care about what you two do lmao

basically

you were the only sane one in the trio

kind of

so when mcgonagall announces the triwizard tournament

you mumble,

“i thought they weren’t doing that anymore after diggory’s death”

while turning your head to look at the boys at the gryffindor table

and to your expectation, they were whispering excitedly to each other

after the great feast, you wanted to talk the two out of it but head boy! minhyun who was also from ravenclaw catches you and reminded you that,

“y/n you are a prefect!!!!111!1 remember what a prefect has to do???”

and so you sigh and herd the junior students towards the ravenclaw tower

next day during breakfast, you zoomed over to the gryffindor table

not caring that all your ravenclaw friends were like,

“ooooooh is y/n gonna have breakfast with their boyfriend? ;))))”

ongniel didn’t even realize you were there until you slaMMED YOUR FIST ON THE TABLE

and congatulations!!!!111!1!1

you’ve officially got the two’s attention!1!!!

along with everyone else in the great hall

a w k s

everyone kinda returns to their breakfast after a second tho because

“oh it’s that time of the week where y/n tries to stop ongniel from doing something stupid”

it happens so often it’s normal for everyone

“don’t even try put your name in the cup”

you hissed

“holy shit you almost sounded like you were speaking parseltongue there”

“i will fucking end you ong”

ongniel is shook™

you were dead serious this time

“people d i e. you’ve heard of the scary death count. you’ve heard about diggory. not to mention you’re u n d e r a g e”

ok you may have sounded like a nagging mother

but you were genuinely worried

what if they succeed in putting their names in???

whAT IF THEY GET PICKED?????

ongniel bursts into laughter and say the line they always say to you

“it’s not gonna happen y/n. listen, i know you’re worried for us but even if we get to put our names in, we won’t get chosen!”

“even if we were chosen, mcgonagall wouldn’t let us participate!”

the two boys, even though they always do the exact opposite of what you say, know that you’re just looking out for them

“but even so, you shouldn’t even take that-”

“we’re going to be fine y/n. go back to the ravenclaw table and eat with your friends!!”

daniel says, giving you the sweetest smile

the same smile that you can’t say no to

and so, reluctantly, you shuffle back to your table

your friends giggling and asking if you asked daniel out and got rejected

“i didn’T ASK HIM O U T!!”

come september the 30th, all the halls were filled with whispers of the incoming beauxbatons and durmstrang students

and while your friends mumble about classes finishing early and how they’d be missing out on history of magic

you found yourself daydreaming and dropping further away from your group

“y/n!! come on, hurry up or we’ll miss seeing their entrance!!”

“coming-”

just as you were picking up your pace, you felt an arm wrap around you

“sorry!! we’ll be borrowing y/n!”

looking up, you meet the gaze of daniel

with ong on your other side but really all you see is danik 👀👀

your friends burst into giggles and wave before heading off

leaving you with the two trouble makers

standing the middle of the hallway

with people bumping into you guys

“can’t you two kidnap me in a better place??”

“what? you expected us to corner you in the shrieking shack??”

rolling your eyes, you turned around, removing daniel’s arm from you in the process

“what do you two need?? i’m a prefect i have to go keep the ravenclaws in order so cut to the chase”

grinning, seongwoo slides up next to you

“say y/n, you know how to brew an ageing potion right???”

“yeah”

“could you maybe-”

“nope, not doing it”

the halls were empty by this point

everyone was outside waiting for the beauxbaton students and durmstrang students

“but none of us know at all!”

“well, you’ll just have to find someone else to do it.”

you turn around with a snap and head towards the grounds

leaving ongniel standing in an open hallway

“by the way,”

the two boys snap their heads up, eyes filled with hope

“george said that he and fred tried using an ageing potion and it didn’t work. i doubt that it’ll work this time either”

they were even more deflated

“do you think minhyun would make us one?”

“doubt it”

the two sigh in unison

“where have you been? you know how bad jaehwan is at his job of being prefect”

head boy! minhyun hisses to you the moment you arrive

“sorry, two dumbasses delayed me”

just as you say dumbasses

daniel and ong step out onto the grounds lmao

and minhyun winces

“i feel bad for you”

“i feel bad for me too”

suddenly a gust of wind that makes everyone hold onto their books blows past

and everyone gasps as they see the horse drawn carriages arriving

you catch ongniel oogling at the students of beauxbatons the second they step out

and you unknowingly frown

minhyun catches this and smirks

“jealous that your crush is staring at another?”

“whaT NO--- DANIEL AND I ARE JUST FRIENDS”

“ah, so it’s daniel”

“IVBSIBVOSB WHATNO-”

“why didn’t you deny anything about seongwoo??”

and shit

ok you may have a teensy tiny little crush on the tall boy

b u t

you weren’t obvious

 r i g h t ? ? ? ?

“you were obvious y/n, try harder”

fuck

and while you beat yourself up about it inside

minhyun looks at the emerging boat of durmstrang with a small smile

as the durmstrang students step out, minhyun leans over to you whispering about how he bets that that one durmstrang student would be champion

this action doesn’t go unnoticed tho

out of the corner of his eye,

danny boy notices

and boy was he not in a good mood because of it

“hey seongwoo”

“yeah bro?”

“do you think,,,, y/n’s dating minhyun?”

ong nearly chokes on his spit

“wHaT???”

following danik’s gaze, ong sees you whispering back to minhyun

“holy shit they might be actually dating”

narrowing his eyes, daniel watches as you and minhyun walk back inside

minhyun extends his arm towards you

and you let out a hearty laugh before taking his arm

after that day, you haven’t made conversation with daniel

you were ?????confused as heck

because

you can’t remember ever offending him????

like????

usually when you brush pass the two in the hallways, daniel would ruffle your hair

but now he acts like he didn’t see you???

ong apologizes on his behalf

“i have no idea why he’s being like this,,, i’m sorry”

and daniel’s mad at himself for being mad at you

“are you sure,,,, that you aren’t taking y/n and minhyun’s relationship too hard??”

“i’m not. there’s no reason to”

daniel replies as he pouts behind his fantastic beasts and where to find them textbook

daniel’s obviously upset about it

and ong thinks he knows why

on the other hand, you were pacing around in the library in front on minhyun, who was reading a book on healing properties

“what if- what if- whAT IF HE’S MAD BECAUSE I WOULDN’T BREW HIM AN AGEING POTION????”

the librarian pops her head out from behind a shelf and mouths at you to “shhh”

minhyun chuckles, flipping the page

“i doubt it”

“theN WH Y”

“i have an idea of why. but it’ll unfold itself as time goes by”

you nearly pull your hair out at his answer

returning the book to it’s shelf, minhyun pats your shoulder

“here, i’ll walk you back, it’s getting late”

sighing, you follow minhyun out of the library

“aren’t you going back to the dorm?”

“i’m on night duty tonight-”

minhyun’s words cut off as you two come face to face with the one and only

kang daniel

and ong but he’s not the main chaRACTER HE R E

danik’s lowkey trigGERED

but he stays silent and walks past you two

“uh, hey y/n!! have a nice night!!!”

ong says and also brushes past

you’re just 

“???????????whatthefuck”

and minhyun just stands there with a small smile

because he definitely knows why now

hello!! i’ve decided to split this au into two parts as it gets quite long!! i hope it’s ok with all of you,,,, anyway!! happy new year to all of you!! it’s been quite a while since i posted a scenario and i think this is my first scenario of 2018!! i hope im still relative oops

[amsimaria]

Bittersweet

» Part two

She likes the sad eyes, bad guys Mouth full of white lies Kissing in the corridor But quick to tell her goodbye

Author: amsimaria Word count: 7,3K Feature: Jimin x Reader (mentions of other BTS members) Genre: Angst/Slight smut (Rated M) Warnings: Slight violence, Mentions of sexual acts, Punk Jimin, Depression, Swearing, Addiction, Soft drugs use, Smut, (Jimin’s a kind of a Jerk in this part).  

‘’Are you eating well? I will send your uncle to check on you if you keep ignoring my calls (Y/N), I’m serious.

‘’No mom, i’m fine.’’ You whine to your mother who’s on the other end of the phone line, while you’re kicking the refrigerator door shut with the backside of your heel.

‘’Alright, well let me know if you need anything ok? If you don’t feel good you can always call your uncle, he will immediately pick you up if something is wrong.’’

“Yes mom i will, don’t worry.’’ You promise, before saying a quick ‘’love you’’ and hanging up.

It had been 9 days since the night of the party and you couldn’t get yourself to stop thinking about the rush you felt kissing Jimin that night. You were so busy hating yourself these last couple of years, that you had almost forgotten how it felt to be loved, to be under someones touch, even if it was only for a brief moment in time. Deep down you knew Jimin’s interest in you was purely sexual, but even that was enough to make you feel like a proper teenage girl again. Although you felt alive for the first time in forever, you knew you had to stay away from Jimin. He practically had the word ‘’criminal’’ written on his forehead and you didn’t want to be involved with someone like that, or worse, to fall for his charms like one of his slutty booty calls and get thrown away like garbage.  

When you look at your phone after hanging up on your mom, you notice you’d received two messages from your friend.

[Naomi 20:11] Hey boo, Taehyung texted me, asking if i wanted to come to some fight match as his ‘’date’’ lol. I kinda want to go but not alone, you wanna come with?]

[Naomi 20:15] U there?]

[You 20:18] Hey, yeah. Uhh.. I don’t know that sounds kinda weird naom]

[You 20:18] Was on the phone with my mom]

[You 20:20] What kind of fight match? Like an illegal one or something?]

[Naomi 20:22] Dunno, he didn’t really get into detail, just something about a fight match]

[You 20:22] hmm.. I don’t know man, It all sounds a little underground-ish to me]

[Naomi 20:23] Don’t you want to see that guy again.. The one you told me about you’d kissed?]

Your breath hitches in the back of your throat when the image of Jimin’s face comes ghosting from your memory. Blinking a few times to lose the image and clear your head, you try to not let the memory distract you from your intuition and common sense.

[Naomi 20:25] Just come with me, it’ll be fun i promise :)))]

[Naomi 20:25] Fucking Josh posted a picture with some skank sitting in the passenger seat of his car on Facebook :s]

[Naomi 20:25] I’m so done with that asshole]

[20:28] You have 1 missed call from Naomi]

[You 20:31] Alright, when?]

[Naomi 20:32] Yayyy you won’t regret it :)))))]

[Naomi 20:32] Saturday 11 pm. We’ll pick you up from your home k?]

[You 20:33] K xx]

You didn’t feel good about this at all, and you knew it was a bad idea, but for some reason you really wanted to see Jimin again.

Two days later.

‘’Hurry up (Y/N), I told Taehyung we’d be down in 5 minutes.’’ Naomi huffs impatiently

‘’Yeah yeah, I’m coming Jesus’’ You reply, annoyed. ‘’Can’t I be the one that’s late for once?’’

After sliding on your grey coat, you flick the light switch and start locking your apartment door behind you. Once down, your eyes widen at the sight of the shiny and expensive looking big black Mercedes Benz in front of you.

‘’Get in!’’ Naomi yells, motioning her head to the backseat.

You hesitate for a second before sliding into backside.

‘’Nice.. Car..’’ You say while darting your eyes around.

‘’Thanks’’ Taehyung said, his voice deep and even.

‘’I didn’t expect.. a car like this from someone living in the same apartment building as Naomi’’

‘’(Y/N)!’’ Naomi shouts angrily, frowning at you from over her shoulder.

Taehyung chuckled. ’’Gotta keep a low profile, right?’’ He turns his head over his shoulder, and winks at you, curling one corner of his mouth into a devious smile before turning the steering wheel with one swift motion. Returning him with a sheepish smile, you nervously play with you fingers.

Silence fills the car for a few moments before Taehyung starts speaking again. ‘’So eh, you’re (Y/N) right?’’ He remarks, looking at you through his rear-view mirror. You nod. ‘’ One of my friends talked about you the other night’’

‘’Oh really, who?’’ You gulped, pretending like you had no clue who it could’ve been.

He stayed silent for a full 3 seconds before continuing.

‘’Yeah.. he uh, he said you two got pretty close at the party and that he wanted to get to know you a little better,’’

Being your skeptical self, you always found yourself filling things in for people before you even knew what they actually meant by what they said. You knew what he meant by ‘’He wants to get to know you a little better’’, Jimin wanted to fuck you, and you hated how boys like them always acted like they were genuinely interested when all they wanted was a quick fuck.

Your thoughts are then interrupted by Taehyung’s deep voice ‘’His name is Jungkook, but you probably don’t remember that.’’ He continued.

‘’But, you’ll see him at the match anyway.’’  

The name Jungkook made you instantly winch. Why wasn’t it Jimin who asked for you? You didn’t want Jungkook’s attention, he was a douche and he almost took advantage of you while you were in your drunken state. The last tiny bit of motivation you actually had for going to that match, had all suddenly vanished and you sunk into your seat feeling disappointed.

‘’I gotta swing by a friend to pick him up before we go to the match, k?’’ Taehyung announces absently.  

‘’Sure’’ Naomi nodded, her eyes sparkling with adoration.

Taehyung was intimidating, you felt like he could scare off a bear if he intended to. You didn’t like him. The last time you’d seen him, you were drunk, and you liked everyone while being in your drunk-state. You were fully aware that these guys were bad news, and you felt stupid for thinking someone like Jimin would be genuinely interested in you, and you mentally cursed yourself for letting your heartbroken friend talk you into something like this. Of course she didn’t notice his shady side, the guy was smooth and looked like a freaking model, it would only be a matter of time before he dumped her like a piece of shit like the last girl.

Pulling over, Taehyung commands you two to wait for him while he goes out to get his friend. Your eyes follow his steps while he walks over to the house on the opposite side of the street you were parked on.

‘’I really like him (Y/N).’’ Naomi said, her voice sounding buttery.

Not wanting to be the usual party pooper, you simply just smile at her in response.

A few minutes later you hear a noise, almost high pitched like that of a woman, coming from the house. And when you dart your eyes towards the front door of the house you see Taehyung making his way out, doing a lazy sprint back to the car.

‘’He’ll be out in a sec’’ Taehyung said, sounding a little out of breath and when you follow his movement with your eyes, you notice him sneaking his hands towards Naomi’s thigh.

Rolling your eyes at the sight, you turn your gaze back to the house. Almost 15 seconds later you notice the front door flying open and see a boy wearing a snapback getting out of the house followed by an older woman. You roll your window open in the hope that you would hear some off what they were saying.

‘’Hoseok-ssi, where are you going!??’’ The woman desperately yelled after him.

“Out’’ He calmly replied, putting his jacket on while holding a cigaret in between his lips.

“You will regret ruining your life when you’re the same age as me, Jung Hoseok!’’ The woman, who seemed to be his mother yelled out of breath. ‘’I refuse to wait in fear every night! Seeing my son come home with a beat up face every night, praying my son would come home alive and not end up dead like his father!,  Do you hear me!? I refuse to, Jung Hoseok!!’’ The woman yelled after him, her hands resting on her thighs from exhaustion.  

Poor woman, you thought. How bad could these boys live their lives? Yeah, you saw Jimin holding a gun in his hand the other night, but a lot of people owned a gun in the big city, you didn’t think much of it as he used it just as a threat. Was it perhaps the lack of knowledge about the ‘’underworld’’ that made you too naive to see you were with bad people? What if Jimin was some kind of mercenary.. You almost wanted to punch yourself in the face for getting into the car without thinking twice about this.

‘’aye, how u doing bro?’’ The boy said, opening the back door of the car and greeting Taehyung by slapping him on his shoulder like nothing happened.

You felt his eyes linger on you but you didn’t return his gaze and kept staring at the back of Naomi’s chair.

‘’Ahh V, you brought me a gift, how nice of you’’ Hoseok grins, his eyes lingering on you.

You still didn’t look at him, instead you turn your head towards the window.

And as Taehyung takes off, you feel your stomach turn at the thought of being surrounded by guys like these for a full night.

‘’Don’t get too excited now, the fight hasn’t even started.’’ Taehyung says, making Hoseok laugh in response.

‘’I don’t bite you know, you can talk’’ Hoseok continued, his voice playful.

You turn your face towards him disgust, ‘’I’m not a thing, you know’’ You snort, while narrowing your eyes at him.

‘’I’m was only kidding babe’’ Hoseok winks, returning your hostility with a warm smile.

You awkwardly smile back and continue looking out of the window. Watching the sight of the urban neighborhood passing, you wonder how many more broken homes you passed as Taehyung drove through the abandoned streets. You came from a perfect family, at least that’s what everyone around you thought. When the blinds came down, your father often had his hand raised at you over something as small as coming home 5 minutes late, or having a stain at your brand new white skirt. Your mother always told you it was because they loved you, and to a child those words meant truth, but growing up you came to know your upbringing was everything but healthy, you needed to make your own mistakes and you needed to get away from your parents.

Arriving at a massive parking lot with dim street lighting, Taehyung slows down and finds a spot near a big building that looked like some kind of indoor basketball arena.

Getting out, Taehyung motions you and Naomi to follow him and Hoseok towards the entrance.

When you enter the giant building, you instantly hear loud howling by what seemed to be a lot of people.

‘’Come on kiddo, u gotta keep up with the big boys now,’’ Hoseok smiles, leading you towards the entrance of a big room. Entering, you see what could be a few hundred people, screaming and cheering towards a big ring in the middle surrounded by a cage. Following a pad between benches and tables, you see Taehyung stopping a few feet further at a table that had at least twelve people sitting at it, and those were the guys that actually sat in a chair, the rest were girls in skimpy outfits standing and giggling around them.

‘’Aye V, good to see you man!’’ a guy wearing a suit stands up and hugs Taehyung, then turns towards Hoseok, ‘’You ready, J?’’

‘’I was born ready, fam’’ Hoseok grins while side-hugging the guy.

‘’Alright, get changed. You’re up soon and I got a lot of money betting on you son.’’ The guy says, slapping Hoseok’s arm.

‘’Do all these guys have one syllable nicknames?’’ You joke to Naomi who’s staring at Taehyung with mass adoration.

‘’What?’’ She answers seconds later

‘’Never mind’’ You mutter annoyed

‘’And who are these two beautiful ladies?’’ the guy asks Taehyung with a smirk, his eyes on you and Naomi.

‘’I’m Naomi, and this is my friend (Y/N)’’ Naomi greets him excitedly, wearing a big smile on her face.

‘’You seem like good company’’ The guy winks ‘’My name is Namjoon, but the boys call me Monie Jones.’’ He chuckled, while taking Naomi’s hand in his.

When your eyes wander towards the faces of the guys sitting at the table, you notice Jungkook staring you down with his big brown eyes. You awkwardly smile at him, and he gets up and starts walking towards you.

‘’Come and sit in my chair’’ He says, while taking your hand and leading you towards his empty chair.

‘’But.. Where do you sit?’’ You stutter, looking around at the full table.

‘’They are getting some extra chairs right now, don’t worry’’ He reassures while holding his chair out for you.

Sitting down, you look around to see if Jimin was anywhere near you. You wondered if he’d already forgotten you after that night at the party. You’d be lying to yourself if you said you weren’t thinking about him almost everyday since the party. It was all too clear - the way his fingers felt like cotton against the soft skin of your neck. The feeling of the thick metal from his silver thumb ring gripping around your tender flesh. His full pink lips skillfully sucking on yours. The way he held all the power, even though you were the one kissing him first. Something about his rawness had you immensely drawn to him. You couldn’t figure out if you felt happy having these feelings or sad about the fact that it would never work, and these feelings would eventually turn into sadness.

‘’Are you from here?’’ Jungkook asks, waking you up from your daydream.

‘’No, uh.. I moved here 2 years ago’’ You reply, giving him a sheepish smile before turning your head back to crowd, and continue scanning faces.

‘’You want a hit?’’ Jungkook asks while holding something in front of you. Blinking a few times in confusion, your gaze lowers towards his hand and find a joint placed in between his thumb and index finger.

‘’W-what is that?’’ You almost stutter. Your question was obviously rhetorical, but you needed some time to come up with the right answer, as he offered it so casually.

‘’It’s a blunt, silly’’ Jungkook chuckles. The sound of his boyish honey laugh makes your stomach tighten, and your intimate moment with him suddenly makes it’s way back into your head.

‘’Oh, no thank you. I’ve never done it’’ You shake your head nervously

‘’First time for everything right?’’ Jungkook grins, still looking in your eyes as he lights the joint in his hand with a lighter.

‘’Yeah I know.. Maybe another time’’ You reply, forcing a kind smile

When the overpowering low sound of the referee’s voice shouting names and rules catches your attention, you turn your head back towards the ring.

Moving around in your seat to get a better view of what was going on in the cage, you see Hoseok, bouncing around bare chested in red shorts in front of his opponent. You’re a bit shocked by his hands, which were only covered in a thing white material, only covering some of his wrist and knuckles.  Swallowing hard, you mentally prepared yourself for the bloodbath that was coming.

As his opponent threw the first punch, you couldn’t believe how fast Hoseok dodged his swing. He immediately jumped up on his opponent by punching him one after another. He was on fire, and for some reason you felt excitement for the first time watching something so brutal. A few minutes of dodges and punches passed, and Hoseok had his bloodied opponent flat out on the floor, making him tap out to stop the suffering. You felt your body flood with adrenaline and you hoped he would have another match after this one, as his state was pretty close to being absolutely fine. Not so long after the referee announced the next fight, and Hoseok seemed more ready than ever.

Looking around instinctively, your eyes stop at a familiar face sitting a few tables further. Your whole body heats up seeing Jimin sit so close to you. You could recognize that face from a million miles away, as your memory never lost the image of his unique features. His blonde hair was parted in the middle, which was probably created by the endless finger stroking you saw him do all the other times you’d seen him, and you wondered how he always managed to look so effortlessly good with the edgy lifestyle he had. He was sitting at a chair close to the cage, legs spread with his elbows resting on his knees and his hands together in a fist, resting his mouth against them. His face looked dangerously focused, and it seemed like no one would even dare to draw his attention away from the fight, as he would probably shoot them right there on the spot. You figured Hoseok must’ve been a good friend of him.

‘’Are you coming with us after the fight?’’ Jungkook suddenly asks, making you turn around in surprise.

‘’Uhh.. To where?’’ You ask, turning your head in a 45 degree angle, but still keeping your eyes and thoughts on Jimin.

‘’Were going to Namjoon’s house, he’s the guy that greeted you first when you came here.’’ He explains.

You didn’t really feel like going, but for some reason you really wanted to get close to Jimin again, and if going to some stranger’s house was the sacrifice you had to make, you were ready to do it.

Turning your attention back to Jungkook, you fully turn around to see if he had any wrong intentions lacing his words, ’’Uhm.. Who’s coming?’’ You ask, trying to make it sound as casually as you could.

‘’Just some guys you probably don’t know. Oh, and Taehyung, and probably your friend.’’

‘’I don’t know if I should come. I’m a little tired to be honest’’ You modestly smile.

‘’Oh come on It’ll be fun. I want to get to know you.’’ Jungkook smiles. Looking in his eyes, he seemed oddly sincere, and that after he’d almost taken advantage of you in your drunken state. But even if Jungkook came over as the most sincere person in the world, you still wouldn’t trust him one bit. You knew you were playing a dangerous game, but you just wanted Jimin’s attention. And a little flirting in front of Jimin wouldn’t hurt right?

‘’mm, maybe. I’ll think about it ok?’’ You answer playfully.

Looking to your right at the spot Jimin was sitting, a lump appears in the back of your throat when you see a girl sitting down Jimin’s lap. You heard Jungkook say something, but you couldn’t think clear, as your attention was fully on Jimin and the skank pawing at his shirt.

As you suddenly hear the whole crowd yell in victory, you see Jimin take one of her legs over his lap, straddling her against him and lifting her up while holding her with one hand against him as he proudly howled Hoseok’s name in his other. You swallowed arduously as you watched him bounce her up and down his crotch joyfully. You felt sick. How could you let yourself have these feelings for a guy like him? You wanted to be angry at him, but you knew you were the only one to blame, as you should’ve known he would fool around with girls without caring if he’d hurt them. Why did you let yourself get feelings for someone like him? Why couldn’t it be your nice neighbour, who always brought you your mail because it seemed like he wanted a reason to talk to you.

‘’Are you alright?’’ You hear Jungkook’s voice breaking you from your thoughts and you turn back nervously.

‘’Yeah.. Yes, why would you ask that?’’ You reply defensively, your words rushed.

‘’Because you’ve been staring in silence for the past 2 minutes’’

‘’Oh, well I’m fine and I would love to come’’ You smile, forcefully happy.

‘’Alright, cool’’ Jungkook smiles while holding his hand out for you. ‘’Fights over. Let’s go’’

‘’Ww-wha? Now?’’ You stutter, looking around to see if Jimin was still in your sight. He was gone, and so was Naomi. You suddenly start feeling nervous and uncomfortable. Taking your phone out of your pocket, you notice a new message from your friend.

[Naomi:] Tae and I went to the parking lot early, call me when the fight’s over and I’ll come and get you. Stay with Jungkook xx ]

Would Jimin be there as well? That question ghosted your mind and you couldn’t stop thinking about him fooling around with that girl somewhere.

‘’Let’s go before everyone storms out at the same time’’ Jungkook commands, pulling you behind him.

So many thoughts rushed through your head and you just felt like going home and popping 2 sleeping pills down your throat, before withdrawing to your bed. You hated not having control over the situations you were in. And especially not having control over the feelings you had. Taking anti depressants or sleeping pills, made you feel numb and even lifeless sometimes, but feeling emotionless was like going to your happy place. It made you feel safe.

As you follow Jungkook outside, you feel your heart rate speeding up. And in your case that mostly meant that an anxiety attack was coming up. You desperately try to calm your breathing by counting the seconds the air filled your lungs through your nose, but your vision was already becoming blurry from the nausea. Heat stroke after heat stroke came over you and you felt your fingers lightly tremble.

You wanted your sleeping pills. No, you needed your sleeping pills. Looking around anxiously, you see a guy a bit further, holding a joint in his hand and brining it up to his mouth.

Maybe weed could help prevent your attack. You start to frantically tuck on Jungkook’s sleeve and ask him if you could have that hit now, sounding rushed and nervous. Looking back at you with one eyebrow raised, he pauses a few moments before putting his hands in his pockets in attempt to get out his joint for you.

‘’It’s strong so don’t suck too hard’’ Jungkook says grinning, while holding his joint out for you. He obviously had a double meaning by what he said, but you didn’t feel like digging into what he was implying, as your real enemy was the upcoming anxiety attack.

Tasting the overpowering acidity of the marijuana, the smoke shoots it’s way out of your throat almost as fast as it made it’s way in. Coughing heavily, Jungkook starts chuckling at the sight of you struggling. ‘’’ You look like stoned little puppy’’ He laughs, looking at your teary eyes. ‘’Let’s go to Namjoon. I’ll keep you cozy and warm once we’re inside’’ He smiles. Taking the joint and taking your hand, he starts walking towards the parking lot. Feeling woozy, you start following him without questioning if you really wanted to go.

Looking around, you notice Jimin standing a few feet further, laughing and joking around with some guys - including Hoseok, and some giggly girls hanging around them. The girl he was with inside was also there. She sat on the hood of a car with her bare legs spread and a standing Jimin leaning with his back in between them, while holding a can of beer in his right hand. As she needly paws at his shirt, Jimin turns around, and starts smirking to her. You see him moving his lips, but you couldn’t make out what he was saying, as the noise made it impossible. Next, he throws his empty beer can on the ground, and steps his doc martens on the bumper of the car and climbs in-between her legs. He then looks back at the guys, who are laughing and cheering him on, and says something to them you couldn’t hear. As he looks back to her with a mischievous grin on his face, he starts grinding his hips in between her legs. His crotch grinding hers so smoothly, it genuinely looked like he was fucking her on the hood of the car. Feeling ten things at once, your knees loose their strength, and before they hit could the ground, Jungkook catches you and pulls you up.

‘’Wow, are you ok?’’ Jungkook asks surprised.

‘’I want to go home. I don’t feel well’’ You mutter, your voice low in volume, as you were mostly talking to yourself.

‘’Really? You don’t want to come with me?’’ Jungkook asks confused.

‘’Take me to Naomi, please’’ You plead, while ignoring his question.

Nodding, Jungkook lifts you up and carries you towards Taehyung’s car.

When you look back to see if Jimin was still grinding that girl, you see him standing next to Hoseok. And as you watch him a little too long, his eyes eventually lock with yours and you see the confusion and surprise wash over his face. Looking away instantly, you cursed yourself for still wanting to look at him after seeing that disgusting dry-hump scene.

Approaching Taehyung’s car, you see Naomi’s Facial expression change into fear and she immediately starts running towards you.

‘’What the fuck? What happened?’’ She asks concerned. Her voice laced with slight anger. Her gaze darting from yours to Jungkook’s frantically. ‘’What the fuck did you do to her!?’’ She starts shouting, and shoving Jungkook’s arm. Putting you down slowly, Jungkook’s expression changes into anger and you feel a storm coming up. ‘’I didn’t do anything? Why the fuck are you assuming I did something?’’ Jungkook starts shouting back, his eyebrows scrunched together.

‘’I’mm..  fff-fine I just nn.. to go hom-’ You try to calm Naomi, and tell her Jungkook didn’t do anything, but you couldn’t even talk clearly, as your vision faded and your head started spinning.

‘’What did you do to her? Did you drug her?!!’’ Naomi’s face is beat red.

Looking at the car through hooded lids, you see Taehyung jumping out of the driver’s seat with a cigarette hanging from the side of his mouth. He swiftly pulls Naomi up and carries her away from a heavy breathing Jungkook without saying a word. ‘’She’s on medication you asshole!’’ She shouts, while struggling to get out of Taehyung’s grip. But Taehyung didn’t let go and nodded to someone behind you.

When you clumsily try to keep yourself steady to the side of the car, you suddenly feel two warm hands grabbing your armpits and keeping you steady on your feet. The scent of the oh-so familiar musky cologne could only mean one thing. And as you’re being swung around by the two strong arms, you see the face that came with the memory of the scent of that strong cologne. Jimin.

Every time his face appeared in front of your eyes, your feeling instantly told you would be safe. But what became all too clear after all those times seeing him, was that there was a price that came with feeling safe around something other than medication. The feelings that originated from it and the dependency you had developed by thinking about him day and night. The ecstatic feeling you got from thinking about him filled the emptiness and loneliness you struggled with day and night, of never having received actual physical love from someone. But it wouldn’t matter how many times Jimin saved you from the scary outside world, he could never safe you from you. Or from him. Jimin brought the danger. Jimin was the danger. The second Jimin stepped into your life, your problems had also made their way back into your life. Jimin wasn’t any different from your addiction to medication, he was a whole new addiction. An even more addictive and dangerous one.

‘’Are you alright? ’’ He asks, sounding concerned. The fuck did you do to her, Jungkook?’’ He shouts angrily. ‘’And why the fuck are you even here? huh?’’ He then turns towards you, eyebrows scrunched together furiously.

‘’Nothing, I gave a her hit and she collapsed man’’ Jungkook replies, holding his hands next to his head to display his innocence.

‘’Who’s driving you home?’’ Jimin asks serious.

Jungkook motions to Taehyung and Naomi, and Jimin turns his gaze back to yours.

‘’We were going to Namjoon, bro’’ Jungkook adds

‘’No way, you ain’t taking her there.’’ Jimin shoots towards Jungkook.

Breathing heavily, you try to push him away from you, but he doesn’t move. Jimin wasn’t very tall, but boy was he strong.

‘’Let go of me!!!’’ You scream looking him into his eyes, your eyelids hanging from dizziness. ‘’I am going there! who the hell are you to tell me where to go?!’’ You shout to Jimin.

‘’Why?’’ He chuckled, catching you every time you almost sink to your feet.

‘’Because I want to! and don’t touch me!’’ You scoff, pushing him. This time, your push is a lot harder and he does a step back in surprise. His face dropping at your seriousness.. ‘’Besides, don’t you have some whore to fuck?’’ You sneer, the words escaped your mouth before you could stop them and you quickly turn your face away from embarrassment.

Jimin starts laughing and narrows his eyes at you, ’’You think my boy Jungkook wasn’t planning on doing that to you?’’ Jimin smirks presumptuous.

As he takes a step towards you, you instantly winch at his intimidating presence. ‘’Do you think you could handle that hm? He asks, while cocking his head to the end of his question. As you try to back up a step, you bump your back into the side of Taehyung’s car. ‘’Huh? Tell me, can you handle being fucked by the big boys?’’  Jimin asks, taking another step closer to you, and resting his hand beside your head on the roof of the car. You freeze. Looking at him with teary eyes you stay silent. And after a few seconds of silence, Jimin takes his hand off the car and takes a step back. ‘’You don’t belong here.’’ Jimin then concludes. ‘’You’re an asshole’’ Your voice cracked.

‘’Yeah, yeah I know. come on I’ll drive you home’’ Jimin says, taking your hand and leading you behind him after he says something to Taehyung through Naomi’s open window. Making Taehyung calmly nod in response and drive off.

Arriving at his car he opens the door for you and you carefully slip in the passenger seat. Avoiding his gaze, you keep your eyes down and away from his.

‘’Jimin!?’’ A girl’s yell makes you abruptly turn year head and search for a face. ’’Jimin, where are you going? Aren’t you celebrating with Hobi and the boys tonight?’’ You hear the same voice ask, this time you see a girl approaching Jimin, who was standing beside your closed door. It was the same girl Jimin dry humped against the hood of a car when you were walking out with Jungkook.

With shoulder length, grey-ish colored hair and big brown playful eyes, she practically bounced towards Jimin in her 6 inch platforms.

Jimin turns around, and lowers his head to your window. ‘’Be right back, k?’’ He smiles warmly. Even though you were practically boiling inside, you shrug in response. Trying to make it come over like you didn’t care. ‘’Sure’’

As Jimin walks over to the girl, she immediately lifts her bare leg against his hip, and starts whining for him to come with her and the others, while tucking onto his hoody.

‘’I can’t I gotta take someone home first. I’ll call you, k?’’ Jimin, replies sounding uninterested. You wondered why girls kept chasing him even after he treated them like trash.

‘’Jimin, I’m horny please come with me.’’ You hear the girl pant.

Looking at them in total disgust, you see Jimin pulling her closer onto his crotch, and whisper something into her ear, making her start giggling. Letting go of her, he starts walking towards the driver’s side of the car and get in.

‘’Where do you live?’’ He asks, looking at you.

‘’Central’’ You answer emotionless, not meeting his gaze.

After telling him your full address, a few minutes of silence fills the space between you two, as your head is turned towards your window.

‘’Do you uh.. Do you have some kind of eating disorder or something?’’ He then asks.

You don’t answer. You didn’t feel like talking to him anymore. You hated yourself for falling for someone like Jimin. You’d always thought that even though your whole personality was based on trauma’s and problematic experiences, your lack of thrust for people would somehow protect you from people like Jimin.

‘’With you fainting and all that’’ He adds, still trying to get you to talk to him.

‘’No.’’ You simply answer, still keeping your head turned towards the window.

After another 10 minutes of bleak silence Jimin starts speaking again. ‘’I’m sorry about what I said to you back there. I shouldn’t have said that to you.’’ His husky voice sounded sincere, but you didn’t want to offer him any kind of kindness whatsoever, so you you kept quiet.

“I just didn’t want you to go with them, they will take advantage of you.’’ He explains, vulnerability lacing his voice.

‘’Oh, like you just did back there?’’ You shoot back, looking at him repulsively.

He stays quiet for a full 30 seconds while keeping his eyes on the road. ‘’I wouldn’t do that to you’’ He finally replies

‘’Well I must be pretty special then’’ You laugh sarcastically

Sighing in response Jimin keeps quiet again.

As you look to your front, you notice drops of rain landing on the windshield of the car and it doesn’t take long for it to start pouring down like a waterfall.

Arriving at your place, you take your stuff and open the door without looking back at him. But when you want to get out, you feel Jimin’s hand grabbing you by your wrist and making you turn your head back to him.

‘’(Y/N), I am trying to stay away from you, because I’m no good for you’’ He confesses, looking at your dainty wrist while stroking it with his thumb. ‘’I rather have you hate me now, than after I’ve done something bad to you.’’

‘’Mission accomplished’’ You faintly smile before yanking your arm loose, and quickly looking away to hide your upcoming tears.

Walking away a tear makes it’s way down your cheek. You didn’t just cry because you liked Jimin, and knew you could never be with him. You cried because for the first time in your life, something could make you feel alive.

You were somewhat happy walking through the pouring rain, as your tears wouldn’t be as visible. Reaching your wet hand in your pocket to get your keys, you suddenly feel a hand grabbing your arm and pulling you into a warm body. And in a matter of seconds, two warm soft lips were pressed onto yours. You knew you couldn’t resist moving along as the soft puffiness of his lips made you forget everyone and everything. When you eventually give into him, he place his arm around your back and pulls your closer to him. One hand caressing your wet cheek and the cold metal of his thumb stinging your skin. As you are being showered by rain, Jimin’s moves into you, making you step back until your back reaches the main door of your apartment building. Clumsily fumbling for your keys, you finally reach them and hand them to Jimin, who then opens the door while you keep kissing him eagerly. Inside, Jimin’s walks you against the concrete wall next to the elevator and starts kissing and biting your neck hungrily. The sound of gripping clothes, soft moans and breathy pants fill the hollow space around you, and Jimin Lifts you up against the wall in one swift motion. Gripping your thighs and squeezing your butt, he starts grinding his crotch into yours. “You have no idea how much I thought about fucking you’’ He breaths, while grazing your neck with his teeth. As you’re moaning at his words, he slowly places you on your feet and slides his hand down your pastel-blue cigarette trousers, opening the button with one snap.

Sliding down your panties, his fingers reach your wet folds and slips them between your soaking slit. Moaning at the sensation, your breath hitches in your throat when he eases one finger inside you, looking into your eyes with his dark feline ones. ‘’Fuck, I want to fill you up so bad, baby’’ He groans, curling his finger inside you so perfectly, you winch at the sensation of the tip of his finger reaching your sweet spot. Grabbing your neck with his other hand, he places his lips onto yours, and you clutch at his sweater while you moan into his mouth.

‘’Ahhh, Jimin..’’

‘’You like that? You want more, hm?’’ He breaths, while easing another finger into you and quickening his pace.

Nodding at him in response you start steadying yourself by holding onto the fabric of his hoody, and you throw your head back at the sensation of his fingers filling you up and the sound of his husky voice making your head spin.

Letting your hand wander down his stomach, you stop at the rough bulge of his jeans covering his crotch. Cupping it in your hand, you were eager, almost desperate to feel him fill you up completely.

Your first and only sexual experience was close to a complete disaster. You were nineteen back then and as rebellious as a teenager could be at that age. Not to the faces of your parents, but you would always find ways to indirectly punish them for ruining your childhood. Making your first sexual experience not as much pleasure as it was revenge on your parents. Though, it didn’t take long for your mother to find the red-purple hickey spots on the side of your neck. You would never forget the night your father’s face was so beat red, you were convinced his beatings would be fatal that time.

As you feel your orgasm approaching, your breaths are becoming short and rapid and you feel your legs tremble under his touch.

‘’I-i think I’m clo- ahh.. ’’ You desperately moan, while desperately trying to unbutton his levi’s.

Grabbing your wrist, he looks at you through hooded lids. ‘’No, you don’t want that’’ He simply states. His voice deep and serious.

‘’Jimin, please I do want it’’ You desperately moan.

‘’Fuckkk. don’t talk like that, I won’t be able to hold back’’ He groans

‘’Please Jimin, even if it’s just for one time’’ You almost beg through moans.

Sinking to his feet, Jimin pulls your trousers and panties down, and pulls one of your legs carefully out of them. Looking you into your eyes, he slowly lifts one leg over his shoulder, and then crashes his lips on to your lower ones, making you squeal at the sensation. As he starts frenching your nub, and you feel the suction of his lips through your whole body.

‘’Ah, Jiminnn-‘’

‘’You taste so sweet mami, I could eat you out all day, Fuckk. Why do you have to be such a good girl huh?’’ He says, before stroking his flat tongue against your exposed nub, looking at you while doing it.

As he continues sucking your sensitive nub, you feel his fingers speeding up pace, and continuously hitting your sweet spot. Waves of pleasure shooting straight through you, as you feel his slick tongue on your bundle of nerves. And as he starts finger fucking you rapidly, the heat from the centre of your core spreads through your entire body. The ecstasy from your orgasm washes over you, and you feel your core tightening around Jimin’s thick fingers, making you let out a loud high pitched moan.

‘’Shh baby, people are going to think I’m hurting you’’ Jimin softly whispers in his husky voice, before he starts placing kitten-licks on your sensitive nub and then continues sucking on it.

As he drives you over your edge, you close your eyes and throw your head back at the ecstatic sensation of waves of intense pleasure washing over your body. Making your knees weak and your legs tremble under his touch. Slowing the pace of his fingers, Jimin’s let’s you ride out your orgasm and then slowly moves his head away from your lower lips and starts smirking at you, cockily. pushing himself up, he lifts your panties and trousers up your legs. When he starts looking at you, you feel yourself blushing under his gaze.  

After a few minutes of silence, Jimin lets out a deep sigh and looks down before looking back into your eyes. ‘’I don’t want to fuck you, because you deserve better than a hood rat like me’’

When you’re just about to give him your response, he cuts you off, ‘’I’m not happy with what I am, or with what I do, it’s just the way it is. I don’t want to hurt you (Y/N), or drag you down with me. Please don’t show up at those places again, I won’t be able to hold myself back when i’m drunk and I know those hyena’s won’t either. Please just.. don’t look me up again.’’

The glistening tears start drowning your eyes, as you listen to his pathetic attempt to ditch you. ‘’You’re an asshole Jimin!’’ You shout with a cracked voice, before taking your jacket from the ground with one angry swoop. You push him away from you and stumble your way towards the stairs. You start running upstairs and wailing and whimpering in your hands.

When you enter your apartment, you begin screaming and crying all at once. You were fool, and he shoved it in your face.

Running to your medicine cabinet, you take your bottle of Oxazepam and try opening it frantically. Without thinking, you take in 5 pills at once, in the hope that you could sleep for 2 days straight, or at least numb your emotions for a few days. After swallowing them one by one, you let yourself sink down your bathroom wall, and rest your spinning head on your knees.

Soon you would be in your happy place again.

a/n : In the next one i will start with a Jimin pov 

♡

[it-refused]

Working Title: Forward, Back (4/?)

Summary:  Knowing what’s going to happen doesn’t mean Sans can stop it.  Maybe he could’ve put it off forever.  Sans decides to go.

Rating: T

Part Summary: The town gets nervous and Papyrus needs a babysitter.

>>First Part<<

C/N: Mental Illness

It was unnaturally warm for so early in the morning.  The weather didn't bother Sans. His own bedroom had been like an oven that morning, with Grillby snoring like an inferno in bed next to him.  

Sans had tried to roll him on his side like he'd been told was supposed to help, but Grillby was just fire all over the bed.  Did he even have a side when he was like that?  Sans' best bet was just turning the whole bed on its side, and he'd been fed up enough to try it.  

He'd climbed out of bed, used his magic to upend the mattress, and just stared as his husband stubbornly stuck to it.  It almost seemed to make him snore louder, somehow.  

Sans propped the bed up like it was and left to grab breakfast at the local greasy spoon.

The heat didn't get to him, but there was something else in the air that morning that settled in him and left him uneasy.  He wondered if it was just the lack of sleep messing with him, again, but when he listened in on other monsters' conversations, he knew the mood wasn't just in his head.  

He poured ketchup on his eggs as the other locals talked about the humans they'd seen hovering around the edge of town.  Probably just kids, curious, visiting from one of the human villages in short driving distance.

But not every human was happy about monsters taking over real estate.  And there were other humans who loved it, and were always looking for some EXP where they could get their fleshy hands on it.

There were a few humans living in town, and a couple of them had gone out to see if anyone was still skulking around.  The monsters were trying to go about their normal business while they waited for news.

"I'm starting to think your brother's right, Sans."  His waitress hovered over him, tapping a long, spindly finger against her writing pad.  Her yellow, glowing eyes radiated fear.  

"yeah," Sans agreed.  He wasn't sure what she was talking about.

"Not enough puzzles."  

"right."  

Papyrus thought of them as an important tradition, but they really had been intended as security.  Sans didn't like that people were so messed up they wanted to bring that stuff back as more than a novelty, but they had some good reason to be afraid.  Their town had to look like a juicy juice box of free EXP to a certain creepy type of human.

Sans wondered if his brother had heard the news yet.  He'd been up early, but Sans hoped he was still oblivious.  He'd want to meet the weirdos out there.

He left a pretty good tip so Grillby wouldn't hear about him being cheap later and do the thing he did when he was disappointed.  The silent, staring thing.  Well, he had a variety of those silent stares, sure, but there was one particular variation Sans liked to avoid.

He took a longer trip back to see if any of the monsters hanging around outside had any news.

"SANS!  DID YOU HEAR THE NEWS?"  Papyrus was right outside the grocery store. Angel was with him, leaning against his leg.  "IT IS VERY EXCITING!"

Sans cupped his hand by the side of his skull.  "didn't quite catch that."  

"THE GREAT PAPYRUS SHOULD NOT HAVE TO LOWER HIMSELF TO TELLING A GROWN SKELETON TO CLEAN OUT HIS EARS."  

"my what." Sans was laughing to himself.  His whole posture relaxed, now that he knew his brother was still in town.  He had really expected to find him playing guard at the limits.

Angel hung onto Papyrus' leg, visibly oozing worry.  Kids had a talent for reading moods, so they must have picked up on something while Papyrus took them around.

"IT IS ALSO YOUR JOB TO BE A ROLE MODEL.  A POSITIVE MODEL!  NOT ONE FOR LAZINESS AND POOR HYGIENE."  He frowned.  "...YOU HAVE ALREADY SUCCEEDED IN MODELING THAT BEHAVIOR, SANS. CONGRATULATIONS?  AND NOW IT IS TIME TO AIM A LITTLE HIGHER!"  

"aw.  how'd you know i always wanted to be a model, bro?  never had the looks for it."  

"NOW YOU ARE JUST AVOIDING THE TOPIC BY BEING RIDICULOUS!  YOU SHARE SOME MINOR SIMILARITIES IN APPEARANCE WITH THE STUNNINGLY PHOTOGENIC AND APPEALINGLY PREPOSSESSING PAPYRUS, THANKS TO OUR FAMILY TIES.  OF COURSE YOU COULD FULFILL THIS PRETEND AMBITION."

"here i always thought i was too bony."

"IMPOSSIBLE!"

Sans noticed that Angel was fussing a bit, like they thought they were being ignored. He knelt down next to them.  "hey, kid."  Angel gave him a high five.  Well, a high one.  They only had a stubby fingerless appendage.

Sans stood back up, and the kid went back to hanging onto Papyrus' leg.  

"OH, BUT FOR ONCE YOUR CONVENIENT TIMING IS NOT AN IRRITANT!"  Papyrus put his gloved hand on Sans' shoulder.  "YOUR FAVORITE BROTHER NEEDS TO ASK A FAVOR OF YOU."

"how can i turn down my #1 bro," Sans said, uneasy.  "can't even see the rest of my brothers, you're so far ahead of 'em."  

"WONDERFUL!"  He spoke quieter, but was still shouting.  "I AM LOOKING FOR SOME RESPONSIBLE PERSON TO WATCH OVER THEM WHILE I AM BUSY WITH... SOMETHING ELSE."

"and you looked around and there's just me."  

Irritation flashed across Papyrus' face.  "IF I DID NOT TRUST YOU WITH CHILDREN, I WOULD NEVER ASK YOU TO TAKE CARE OF THEM.  IT WOULD BE IRRESPONSIBLE OF ME.  INSULTING YOURSELF IS AN INSULT TO ME!"

"oops.  no, you're the best.  you're right."

Papyrus pulled a #1 Mom mug out of his inventory.  "Angel" (Grillby) had gotten it for him the last Mother's Day.  He gestured at the mug, emphatic. "I TAKE THIS VERY SERIOUSLY, SANS!"  

He must, since he carried it around with him 24/7.  Soozen had gotten him a t-shirt that said "This is what the world's best mom looks like" with "mom" crossed out and "Papyrus" written in its place.  

"I MUST CONTINUE TO LIVE UP TO THIS GIFT!  SO, THAT IS WHY YOU ARE GOING TO WATCH THEM FOR A FEW HOURS FOR ME," Papyrus explained.  He carefully put the mug back into his inventory.  Angel was looking up at Papyrus.

"sorry.  busy." Sans shrugged.  It was a good speech, but Sans knew Papyrus was gearing up to go look for humans.  

"SANS!  THAT IS A BALD-FACED LIE!"

Sans rubbed at his face.  It was true.  His face was tragically hairless.  Did he have a fake mustache on him?  He checked his prank storage inventory, and was relieved to find several there, in different colors.  He slapped one on his face before Papyrus could notice, and repeated the line. "still busy," he said.

Papyrus closed his eye sockets.  

"no, seriously. i played a prank on grillbz and he might be getting up soon."

"...I AM SURE ANGEL WOULD ENJOY WATCHING THAT," Papyrus said, slowly.  "THEY BOTH HAVE A HIGH TOLERANCE FOR YOUR LOW-BROW JAPERY."  

Sans moved the mustache to right on top of his eye sockets.

"SANS!  THIS IS IMPORTANT.  PLEASE?  I HAVE A RESPONSIBILITY TO THE PEOPLE OF THIS TOWN!  AND TO THE WORLD!"  

"i mean, sure, the kid can watch the show."  Angel lit up and Papyrus started to thank him, but Sans kept talking.  "then grillbz can't yell at me.  everyone gets something outta this."  

"I REFUSE TO ALLOW YOU TO USE A CHILD AS A WAY TO GET OUT OF BEING REPRIMANDED," Papyrus said.  "THEY ARE NOT A SHIELD.  OR EVEN PARTICULARLY SHIELD-SHAPED."  He looked Angel over, to make sure.

"k.  never mind, then.  see you later," Sans said.  He started to turn.

"WAIT!  SANS! THIS IS SERIOUS!"  

"ok sure.  but you didn't even say what you needed to do so bad.  i'd love to help you out, bro, but i got my own stuff to do."  

"YOU KNOW VERY WELL WHAT I AM PLANNING ON DOING," Papyrus said.  

"sure." He shrugged.  "but lay it out for me.  it's being dealt with, right?  that's not your job."

"OF COURSE IT IS!  NAVIGATING THE COMPLICATED RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN OUR SPECIES IS ONE OF MY HIGHEST PRIORITIES."  

Sans had him backed into a corner, now.  They both knew what his highest priority was, and it was dripping slime down his leg and staring up at him, not entirely sure what was going on.

"someone else is already dealing with it," Sans pointed out.  He really wanted Papyrus to let someone else deal with something, for once.  "and you know the older kid's not taking it well if she thinks you went off to..."  Sans looked away, for a second.  Potentially put himself in danger?  He couldn't say that.  "make some new human friends."  

"WHY WOULD SHE--" he broke off.  "I WILL BE COMPLETELY FINE, SANS!"

"i know that, sure."

"THEN YOU CAN EXPLAIN IT TO HER."

"ok."

"BECAUSE IT IS IMPORTANT.  HOW CAN ANYONE GUARANTEE A SAFE FUTURE FOR ANYONE'S CHILDREN, IF WE DO NOT DEAL WITH THESE POSSIBLE CONFLICTS HEAD ON?"  He was channeling Undyne, Sans noticed.  He wished she lived out here so she could deal with this.  

"right." He had been planning on keeping the conversation light.  He'd messed that one up.  "anyway i'm on a schedule here, sorry."  He started backing away.  Talking him out of it had failed, so he'd just avoid the issue.  "bye, kiddo.  keep mom outta trouble, all right?"  

"SANS!  DO YOU THINK GRILLBY WILL OPEN LATE AND WATCH THEM, IF I ASK NICELY?"  

Usually?  Yes. "today?  nope.  but give it a shot, sure."  He waved.

"SANS--"

Sans didn't hear the rest of what he said.  He took a shortcut.

Grillby was in the kitchen, scrambling eggs with his magic.  He was still in his pajamas and he looked pretty miffed, as far as Sans could tell.

"'mornin," Sans said.  "you're lookin, uh, bright eyed and..."

Grillby turned to stare at him.  Sans could only tell that because his glasses were pointed in his direction.

"bright everything else," Sans finished.  

He set down his spatula and wrapped his hands around the top of his head, so it looked like he had a little ponytail.  Sans thought of that part of him as his head and not hair, so he had an odd, confused moment before he got what was going on.  

"bright eyed and bushy tailed.  heh.  thanks.  i can always depend on you to help me out, grillbz."

Grillby let go of his head and picked up his spatula again.

"rough morning?"

Grillby pointed the spatula at him and shook his head.  

"man, i can't believe i missed that."  It would have brightened up his whole morning, seeing Grillby fall out of bed.  Probably.  He wasn't sure what would happen, and that's what made seeing it so exciting. "what're you making me?" 

Grillby pointed to one of the kitchen chairs, and Sans obligingly went to sit.  

There were footsteps outside.  Someone was running.  The door flung open.

"SANS!"  

Wow, Papyrus had made great time.  Especially since he had Angel cradled in one arm. They looked delighted.  Slimes weren't particularly fast, so anything over a walking pace was exciting for the kids.  

"hey," Sans said.  

"OH!  GOOD MORNING, GRILLBY!  I AM DEEPLY SYMPATHETIC TO WHATEVER SUFFERING MY BROTHER INFLICTED YOU THAT HE MISNAMED A 'PRANK.'"  

"...he put the mattress on its side," Grillby said.

"you were snoring," Sans said.  "you're supposed to roll people on their sides when they do that.  i read that somewhere."

"I do not snore."

"HOW DID HE NOT WAKE UP WHILE YOU WERE DOING THAT?"  Papyrus asked, briefly distracted.

"couldn't hear me over all that snoring."

Grillby took the ketchup off the kitchen table and put it back in the fridge before giving Sans his eggs.  Sans had to get the ketchup himself.  

Papyrus set Angel down on the floor, and they slid over to Grillby and waved their arm, asking to be picked up again.  

"OH!  GRILLBY!  DO YOU HAVE TO OPEN VERY SOON?  I NEED SOMEONE TO WATCH THEM AND SANS IS...BEING SANS."

"uh."  

Grillby was staring at Sans, confused.  "...I don't mind, but..."

"bro wants to check out some humans he heard were hanging around."  

"New neighbors?"

"nope. weirdos, maybe.  outside town."

Grillby got a fork out and gave Angel some of his eggs.  He took his time absorbing what Sans said.  "...I can watch them," he said, finally.  

"THANK YOU!  I WILL TEACH YOU ONE OF MY FAVORITE RECIPES IN EXCHANGE!"

"...no, it's fine."

He insisted until Grillby accepted the exchange.   Papyrus ran to his room to put on the clothes he wore for work and then raced out the door.

Grillby set Angel on the floor.  "...he was going to go.  He would just ask a neighbor."

"i just wanted to put it off a while," Sans said.  Make Papyrus run around looking for a babysitter until everything resolved itself naturally.

He nodded.  "Sorry. They didn't let the other kids out of school?"

"no one knows what's up.  it's probably no big deal."

"Ok.  Are you going to go keep an eye on him?"

Sans' shoulders slumped.  "yeah."

".........be careful."

"yeah."

No one found the humans.  Papyrus was annoyed when Sans showed up, interfering with his official business, but he didn't shoo Sans away.  

It was a minor scare, but the town decided to go ahead and set up some puzzles where humans might sneak in.  Papyrus took charge of that.  Alphys came up with a few complicated puzzle designs to help, and Papyrus made a number of his own.  A few other monsters built an escape route.  Just in case.  Even after the fear of that day passed by, there would be something on the news that would stir it up again, to motivate them.

It felt like there was a long cord of thin wire wrapping itself around Sans' ribs, after that.  Maybe from before that day, when he saw his dad by his telescope.  Maybe from years before, when a human came out of the ruins.  Maybe that feeling had always been there, and every now and then Sans noticed it like it was new.  

It got a little bit tighter, every day.  The increase in pressure came on so slow he got used to it.  It was just how it was.  

He ignored it.

>>Next Part<<