#OH forgot to add the one they all have is tansy!

[asanjou]

ill omen

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Sixty-Seven

Words: 7.3K

Warnings: Explicit language, explicit sexual situations, violence, abuse

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"Vivian, c'mon." Fred pleads, as I grip the headboard of the hotel bed as he tugs at my ankles. 

"I'm not talking to that freaking reporter." I protest.

"Vivian."

"Rolling Stone can suck my clit." I argue back, trying to maintain my grip.

"Vivian, you are acting like a crazy person." 

"I'm pretty sane compared to the other motherfuckers." I wince, my joint in my ankle popping. 

"It's not gonna be that bad, Viv--"

"--He's gonna ask about Vanity."

"So, let him, you and Nikki already know how to handle the Vanity questions." He insists. "We spent an hour going over it yesterday." 

"Fred, I can't."

"Viv, babe, c'mon, now. Please." He begs again. "For me, please." 

I think about it for a moment, before letting go of the head board, gaining a relieved sigh from him. 

"Thank you." He tells me as I pull my heels on and smooth my hair over. 

The nightmare of that freaking Rolling Stone journalist following us around for days, picking and prodding, was everything everybody thought it would be. Possibly the deepest question he asked, about the actual craft of Mötley Crüe's talent, was, "so how is the amount of chicks you guys fuck incorporated into the songs?"

As if they would even answer that honestly being that three of them were married and one of the three had a toddler at home with his wife.

And I was particularly annoyed because me and Nikki had to act like the most in love people in the world to debunk the Vanity bullshit.

I hold my breath the second the question leaves his lips, but nobody can trip up on the inevitable topic that we knew would come up at some point. 

Nikki's clearing his throat to cover the pause after "so, obviously there's buzz going on about the bombshell Vanity dropped on the Arsenio Hall Show" leaves Cal, our reporter's, lips.

"That whole thing was just...bullshit." Nikki tells him, laughing it off, looking at me.

I laugh along, too, although we both know it's the farthest thing from funny. 

"I heard it was a 'misunderstanding' or something like that." Cal adds. 

"It's not really hard to have misunderstandings with her, honestly." Nikki admits, rubbing at the bridge of his nose. 

"So, there was never an engagement?"

"I think she's let Hollywood get straight to her head." Nikki tells him. "I'm not trying to be an ass but that really put us," he motions between himself and I, "in a really fucked position for a couple days because obviously you hear one of your girlfriends say, you know, 'hey, I'm engaged to so-n-so', and you're married to 'so-n-so', and then have that added stigma about guys like your husband not being able to commit because all the girls around and everything…" He trails off. "And, look, I'm not upset that Vivian was thinking there could've been some truth to it, ya know? But even after Viv realized it was all shit, it was all out there and people were--and still probably are--thinking that it's true. So the media is constantly, wherever we go, asking about my 'alleged' engagement and if we're still even married or got divorced a while ago and so on. And I could give a fuck about public scrutiny, myself, because I knew what I was signing up for when I started a band. I took everything into consideration, but she didn't sign up for people calling her 'stupid' and looking at her to do something, when Vanity--who has no idea what the fuck she's saying or how heavy the allegations she's throwing around are--convinces people that she's engaged to me." Nikki goes on. 

"So, Vanity was lying?"

"Vanity was lying." Nikki shrugs. 

"You opened up a little bit earlier about your past struggles with heroin--you didn't accidentally propose to her when--"

"Write this down word for word, and put it as the fucking cover quote if you want to: I, Nikki Sixx, would have to be on a high dose of pure horse tranquilizer in order to be so fucked that I'd willingly propose, or agree to get married, to Vanity." Nikki says matter-of-fact. "And that's married or single." 

I felt horrible. I wasn't happy with Vanity, I was livid with her...but I knew what it felt like to feel crazy as a result of Nikki switching the story. The drugs were already taunting her sanity, and we just fucking added to it by saying something--that so obviously happened--never happened.

We were both so full of shit.

I let out a breath as I we get off the bus when we reach the venue, needing to get away from Cal and Nikki's lies for a couple minutes. 

I catch up to Mick and Emi, who're having a conversation, Emi's girlish giggling has me raising a brow, and I feel someone tap on my shoulder. 

Tansy. 

"Fuck off." I snap at her and she looks like she's going to cry. 

"Vi--"

"--You knew she was fucking him, and then protected them by keeping it from me. Fuck. Off." I clench through my teeth. 

This is enough to get her off my back as we head inside, as Emi let's out more laughter. 

Mick and Emi--who had a husband of 6 months back home--were growing closer and closer, oddly enough. I kind of knew something was up, but of course I never told anyone. I knew Nikki would give them hell for it, especially Mick, since he specifically told him, Tommy and Vince when they hired Donna and Emi, not to sleep with them/have a relationship with any of them because, "you don't shit in your own yard." 

So I kept my mouth shut, but Nikki and the guys eventually caught on to what was happening, anyway, and he and Tommy set loose a wrath on them any chance they felt like it.

I keep my expression neutral as the guys make their way by to go on once Doc tells them it's time. 

I avert my gaze from Nikki when he walks by,  being that Cal isn't even paying attention. 

But Nikki ensures the upkeep of our facade--his hand grasping my jaw, not enough to hurt, but enough to get my attention, as he presses a solid, passionate, knee-weakening kiss on my lips. 

When he's pulling away, he looks like he wasn't quite expecting it to be that good, but he's brushing it off in no time, giving me a smirk and a wink before grabbing his bass from his tech and getting where he needs to be for set, leaving me stunned in my spot. 

Once I snap out of my little trance, I’m going to the bathroom to fix my smudged lipstick.

I let out a heavy breath as I look at myself in the mirror, taking deep breaths. “He cheated on you.” I tell myself. “He lied, he slept with one of your friends, and he cheated on  you.” I repeat, trying to hammer my level head back into place as opposed to letting it run wild with fantasies over stupid little kiss...which is easier said than done.

As I’m stepping out of the bathroom, I’m running smack-dab into Sparkie, and I roll my eyes at his mere presence.

“Sorry.” I mumble, stepping by him, only to hear him walking behind me. 

“So, I’ve been thinking…” He starts and I exhale deeply, ignoring him, until he’s grabbing at my wrist, stopping me. “...I was gonna offer you a belated anniversary present but I guess you aren’t interested.” He states, dead, sunken in eyes cutting at me. 

“I’m not interested. Fuck off.” I hiss.

“You weren’t whistling that note last night.” He echoes and I snap around, shushing him so the people around us won’t hear what else he’s about to say. He just gets this smug smile on his face.

“Oh, right, I forgot people would flip their shit if they knew Saint Vivian was interested in scoring.” He slyly smiles, his decaying teeth making me grimace. How the hell does Tansy kiss him?

“I wasn’t interested in scoring--”

“--Why the hell else would you show up to my room at three in the morning, Viv?” He cuts me short, and I let out a breath. “Unless you wanted to fuck or something…”

“You really are on drugs, huh?” I sarcastically shoot back in reference to him being so insane to think I would actually want to sleep with him. 

“I’ve seen pictures of some cute little tricks you can do.” He says again, his fingers grazing at my cheek.

“Want me to go tell Nikki that?” I ask him--knowing I honestly should because Nikki would probably kill him if Tommy, Vince, or Fred, didn’t beat him to it--and he smiles.

“Sure, why not. It’ll be the perfect conversation starter as to why his precious, purely clean wife was in my hotel room after everybody was passed out.” He whispers, his atrocious breath is purely smoke and alcohol, before he’s rubbing his hand down my stomach, nearly getting between my legs before I force him away from me, controlling my urge to hit him as I turn and walk away. 

There was no way to explain why I went to Sparkie in the middle of the night, without it sounding like I was up to no good--not just because Sparkie is the physical embodiment of “no good”, but because I actually was up to no good.

I wipe more of my tears, dotting cold water from the bathroom sink under my eyes to try to calm the puffiness before grabbing some toilet paper and blowing my nose. 

I can’t fucking sleep, once again.

I dig in my toiletry bag to see if I packed any benadryl to help me sleep...but all I see is my bottle of Nardil.

I roll my jaw and feel frustration fill me before I’m unscrewing the cap and throw the bottle at the mirror, the pills strewing all over the bathroom counter. My hand is swiping against the cold counter, knocking a majority of the pills into the toilet before I’m flushing them.

They’re just a fucking waste of money. I’m realizing now they quit working a while ago, I was just so bombarded with loving Nikki in our perfect little bubble, but now it’s been popped, and I’m crashing down from my codependent high--that was disguised as genuine happiness and the lie that my antidepressant was working--is now gone.

A deep breath leaves my lips and I wipe my tears, again, deciding to just get something to put me to sleep. 

One fucking ambien or quaalude won’t kill me. 

The last place I want to be is pacing in front of Sparkie and Tansy’s room door but here the hell I am. 

I knock on the door, quietly, hoping he isn’t completely smacked out or he won’t come answer.

When the door swings open, he’s in tattered underwear, his bloodshot eyes looking at me, confused.

The bitter smell of burning heroin and coke flows past him into the hallway, cutting at my nose, and I grimace.

“I can’t sleep.” I tell him, quietly. 

“And?”

“I need something to help me sleep.” I explain.

My skin crawls when his eyes snake up my bare legs, his tongue running on the inside of his lips.

“I might have something for you.” He grins. “What’re you willing to give for it, though?”

I’m repulsed by him, but I don’t show my disgust.

“Nikki’s got plenty of money.” I state. “I can pay you back later.” He thinks a moment, before smirking. 

“The satisfaction of giving you your first ‘big girl’ drug is enough.” He says, stepping aside, and I cross my arms and step into the room, seeing Tansy knocked out cold on the bed, her naked body looking like a skeleton.

He’s plopping his suitcase on the bed, opening it, and I feel a sick feeling in my stomach at the sight of insane amounts--in bulk--in coke, heroin--at least two different kinds, judging by what I've seen Nikki with the past few years--and a copious amount of pills. 

I'm eyeing the pills, but when he reaches for a lump of tar, and looks at me deviously, I have to hold back vomit. 

"If you want to hold up the Sixx reputation, I highly recommend this." He says as if it's a fucking joke my husband is strung out. 

My eyes dart from the heroin, to the needles in a ziplock stored in the zipper compartment of the luggage. 

"I just need a pill to help me sleep." I tell him and he holds back laughter before holding his hand up as if telling me to hold on for a second as he goes to Tansy's purse. 

I hear him open a bottle and the rustling of pills, before he's bringing me back a pill and handing it to me.

Seeing it in the light, I realize it's a tylenol. 

"Come back when you're actually fun enough to maybe keep Nikki's eyes from straying." He mocks me and I roll my jaw before throwing the pill across the room and storming out. 

I didn't get any sleep that night.

I shake away at the memory, a single, stray tear rolling down my cheek before I'm quickly swiping it away as "Dancing on Glass" booms from the stage. 

I was so fucking sad. I wish there was a way to describe it that didn't sound so mundane...but that's what it was. Just fucking sadness being suppressed constantly with makeup and a decent smile, knowing I wasn't good enough. I felt like I was living with my mom all over again.

After the show's over, we head back to the hotel with Cal in tow, shooting off questions left and right that have nothing to do with the show itself.

"I gotta go to the bathroom." Nikki mumbles, standing up and I know he's just going to get away from Cal, and decide I'd rather be trapped in a small bathroom with Nikki, than hear another question along the lines of "so what drug is your favorite?" 

As Nikki's shutting the door, I'm getting my foot in, stopping him and he looks at me confused, before reluctantly letting me in. 

We wait in awkward silence before I'm pushing a strand of hair behind my ear. 

"Don't kiss me like that again." I tell him, sternly but politely, looking up at him and he pretends to be infatuated with the sink's water knobs. "Nikki."

"Why not?"

"You know why."

"Oh, right. We hate each other, how stupid of me to forget that." He hisses. 

"I don't hate you." I quietly say, and he lets out a breath. 

"Not yet, at least." He scoffs. 

"Nikki, you fucked up, that doesn't mean I hate you."

"But you're still filing for divorce the second Doc gives you the greenlight, right?" I don't say anything. "That's what I thought." 

He slips past me and leaves me to myself, causing me to close my eyes for a moment, and glance in the mirror before joining everybody else. 

He was right. I didn't hate him, yet.

The next day the guys are due to take the cover photo for their Rollingstone issue with Cal continuing to breathe down everybody's necks. 

"Are you not worried about stomach ulcers?" Cal asks me as I take a sip of Pepsi as we wait for the guys to get dressed for the shoot, and I raise my brows at him. "You have at least three of those a day and it's unhealthy, isn't it?" He adds, trying to sugarcoat it with laughter.

"I drink more water than I do soda...would you rather me be snorting rails of coke or smoking crack or shooting heroin?" I bite and his face falls. "If I want to drink three Pepsi's a day--if I wanna drink 300 Pepsi's a day--I will." Apparently I'm raising my voice, because Doc and Fred are turning their heads in my direction and I can see them slowly making their way to me. 

"Umm…" Cal says nervously as I show no sign of easing up on him. 

"I've earned the right to drink as much fucking Pepsi I want, Cal, sorry it's not as aesthetically pleasing as Jack or vodka, or chain smoking Marlboros, or isn't as romantically tragedized as junk--"

"--Vivian." Doc starts as I continue.

"But I like it, it's not the worst thing I could possibly drink on a daily basis, and if I want to fucking drink it, I will!" 

He looks like a scared weasel, backed into a corner, his eyes wide as he leans away from me slightly. 

I didn't realize how close to him I am right now, I'm practically in his face, bitching him out over a fucking Pepsi. 

"Vivian!" Doc's barking at me.

I'm backing off, with the help of Fred pulling me away from him.

I'm surprised Cal isn't pissing his pants currently, the look on his face says he's heavily considering it. 

"Get him the fuck out of here." I tell Doc, motioning to Cal. 

"Vivia--"

"--No, who the fuck does he think he is?" I argue with Fred when he tries to calm me down.

"What's going on?" Nikki and Tommy ask, coming over here.

"Nothing's going on, alright? Vivian's just--"

"--Vivian's just what?" I snap at Doc. 

"I'm so sorry, she gets neurotic." Doc ignores me as he tries to reassure Cal and I'm slinging my soda out of the bottle, onto him and Cal, as I yell, "oh, I'm fucking neurotic?!" 

"Viv!" Doc scolds me as I throw the bottle down and it breaks. 

"Viv," Tommy starts and I snap around to him. 

"Fucking say it, Tommy. I dare you." I grit out, the look in my eyes telling him, "say anything else, and I'll tell everything about Vanity and Nikki." 

"It was a misunderstanding, alright?" I hear Cal explain to Doc.

"No, no." Fred sighs as he's keeping me from hitting Cal, pulling me away as Cal flinches to get as far from me as possible, looking at me like I'm crazy. 

"Don't leave this out of your fucking article! It might just save the entire damn thing since your fucking journalism sucks more ball-pubes than your wife while you've been out here with your nose up our fucking asses!" I throw at him, and Doc closes his eyes and gives out a deep, disappointed sigh, while Fred's tugging me to the bathroom with Nikki on his heels. 

The second the door is closed, Nikki's snatching me away from Fred, his hand wrapping around my throat--not enough to hurt, but enough to catch my attention--and he pushes me against the wall roughly, seering down at me.

"The fuck is your problem?!" He demands.

"Hey, cut it out!" Fred cuts in, separating us, glaring at Nikki. "Don't fucking grab at her like that, I don't care how fucking pissed you are, Sixx, you got it?" He points at him. "And you," he looks at me now, "I don't know what the fucking hell you are tripping on, or if you're on the rag, or what the hell kind of demon possessed you recently but you're being fucking ridiculous." He snaps at me. 

My eyes are honing in on the rosary around Nikki's neck and I cut my eyes. 

"Is that one of mine?" I ask him and he looks down at it. 

"Maybe."

"For someone who hates God you really don't mind representing him."

"It's called a mockery, Vivian, get over yourself." 

"Give it back." I hold my hand out.

"Fuck off." He replies, going for the bathroom door. 

"I said, 'give it back!'" I scream.

"And I said, 'fuck off!'" He yells back. 

"It's a fucking string of beads with a fucking cross on it!" Fred outbursts louder than either of us and we look at him. "You have like four, Viv, what the fuck does it matter? He's always worn them." He points out next and I huff out a breath. 

I didn't mind when Nikki wore rosaries or crucifixes, I knew he was kind of mocking when he wore them, for the irony of a "devil worshiper" wearing one, but even when we got bad off I didn't mind...in fact as he got worse with his addiction, I hoped the spirituality that they represented would rub off on him and snap him out of his addiction. 

It was stupid and I know better now, but Charlette Kinston was my mother. I did have a small speck of her in me, even when I tried not to.

Later that night--more like the middle of the night--I'm still unable to sleep and end up tossing and turning for hours before getting a bath, hoping the warm water will relax me and calm my racing mind. 

Once I get out and get back into bed, I furrow my brows at the sound of something weird in my room, and I quickly realize what it is. 

The unsettling sound of the door knob twisting and turning throughout the dark hotel room, catches my attention and makes my spine prickle. 

I eye the walkie-talkie on my nightstand, and reach my hand out, turning it on. “2.” I say lowly.

“What, 6 and a half?” Fred’s exhausted voice replies.

“20.” I say, which is code for "where are you?"

“101." He grumbles back, "101" meaning the hotel. "In bed. Like you should be.” He says.

“There’s someone at my door.” I reply.

“Who is it?”

“I don’t know what’s why I’m calling you.” 

“You want me to get outta bed just to come see who’s at your door, when you haven’t even checked?”

“...Good point.”

“Just look and see, and then let me know if I need to come, alright?”

“Got it.”

I get out of bed, hearing the door knob still rustling, and I tiptoe to the door, peeping out the peephole, to see Nikki, drunkenly fumbling with his room key, trying to put it in my door.

“It’s nobody, they’re gone. Goodnight.” I say to Fred.

“G’night, Vivian. Get some fucking sleep, you need it.” He adds and I roll my eyes.

“I would if I could.” I mumble, swinging the door open to face Nikki. He doesn’t say anything to me before stepping in, his bottle of wine sloshing onto the carpet.

“This key doesn’t fucking work.” He says, tossing it across the room. 

“Because it’s my room, not yours. Your key works for your room only...across the hall...where you should be.” I cross my arms as he takes another swig of his drink, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand when some of it trails down his chin. 

“Are you strung out?” I blurt, wanting to know whether I should be ready to fight with Sikki or not.

“No, and I haven’t fucking shot up in a long time.” He points his finger in my face. “Just been chasing the Dragon.”

“I can tell.” I state.

“I’m not high, smartass. I came down an hour ago.” He sits the wine down on my nightstand and I raise my brows. 

There’s a silent pause and I wait awkwardly for him to explain why he’s here, but as soon as I open my mouth to ask him, he’s saying, “you wanna go swimming?” I furrow my brows, confused.

“W-What?” I ask.

“You wanna go swimming?” He repeats, rubbing the back of his neck. “Like hangout or something.”

“Nikki, we’re separated. We don’t ‘hangout or something’ anymore.”

“No, but I’m not thinking straight due to the wine and heroin smoke, and you’re not thinking clearly because you can’t fucking sleep, so let’s just not think straight together--bonding experience--and pretend we’re at least friends.” He vouches, and I raise my brows, thinking about it. 

“The pool’s closed. It’s nearly 4:00am.” I tell him and he scoffs.

“We’re Sixxes, Viv, we can do whatever the hell we want.” He says it as if it’s common sense. “And it’d be nice to practice being around each other without screaming each other’s heads off.”

I give it one last thought, before letting out a sigh.

“Fine.” I relent. 

I was worried his sick plan was to drown me, and finally kill me, but soon after we put swimsuits on, and broke into the pool’s patio, I realized he was genuine about just wanting to “hangout or something” and it made me feel a little better that he missed me as much as I was missing him, even if he played it off smoother than I did at times.

“Is it cold?” I ask him as he wades through the shallow end seamlessly.

“No.” He tells me.

“Are you sure?” I question and he looks at me as I dip my toe in. “Nikki, it’s cold.” “Quit being a pussy and get in the water.” He says. “It’s not that bad, Viv.”

I dip my foot in, up to my ankle, and wrinkle my nose.

“Vivian Estine Sixx, get in the water.” He tries to hold back a laugh, keeping his stern facade. 

“It’s not cold to you because you have more body heat.” I cross my arms. 

“Are you calling me fat?”

“I’m saying you’re thicker than me.” I correct him.

“You can always take your bikini off to get used to the water quicker.” He says and I raise my brows.

“That makes no sense.” I argue.

“No, but it’d sure make me happy.” He grins and I splash him with water. 

I quickly regret it as he’s getting out of the pool, about to come after me. 

“Nikki, stop!” I whisper yell and he catches up and wraps his arms around me before hurling the both of us into the deep end. 

My body is shocked with the cold water, and the second I get my head above water, I’m gasping and shivering.

The second his head pops up beside me, I’m hitting at him.

“Jackass!” I scold him, and he laughs, brushing his wet hair out of his face. “It’s not funny.” I snap, swimming to the shallow and he follows me, still laughing.

“It’s so fun to piss you off.” He chuckles, running his hand over his face to get the drops of water from his eyelashes and I raise my hand to smack at him again but he raises his brows at me. “Fuck it off, Sixx.” He stops me before I even start.

“You started it, Sixx.” I reply, mimicking his voice. 

“What's new…" He says with a small smirk, thinking about something before the corners of his mouth fall slowly. "...I've done a lot of shit." He starts and I look at him. "Shit I'm not proud of. I don't fucking know when to just do something a little bit. I can't have a bump, I've gotta go through an eight ball as fast as possible. I can't have a drink, I gotta drink the place dry. I can't have a serious girlfriend, I've gotta marry her." He says, and I glance at him and he shakes his head. "I can't just have a one-night stand, I gotta have a fucking affair." He finishes and I lick my lips, keeping my tears back. "This might be fucked up, but I've realized I don't feel like I shouldn't have had anything with her." He says in reference to Vanity and I furrow my brows. "I just feel like we shouldn't have gotten married to begin with."

It hurts like a bitch, but I know it's the truth, because I feel the same way. 

"Me too." I admit and he finally looks at me. 

"I wouldn't change it, though. I wouldn't go back and change it." He clarifies and I smile softly, my tears unable to keep at bay. 

"I wouldn't either." I assure him. 

He stares at me for a moment, looking from my eyes to my lips, standing up straight, before leaning down. 

It's a sweet, simple kiss, that only lasts a moment. 

It took me back to our first kiss. It was odd, because when we first kissed we couldn't stand each other very much, like we couldn't at that moment in our marriage, either. I don't know if that nostalgic feeling crossed the wires in our brains to convince us to chase one last high together, but one thing led to another and got out of hand like it always tended to do with anything a Sixx did.

I grin in the mirror at him as he mercilessly pounds into me to the hilt with each thrust, my right knee hiked up on the bathroom counter, my left foot standing on tip-toes as his right hand is around my throat, his left hand holding at my waist.

My original intent was to get a shower and leave the kiss at the pool, like it was: just a kiss. 

But when we came back to his room where I had left my room key when I went with him so he could get his swimsuit on, and now I'm bent over his sink, tears in my eyes from the pleasuring pressure building up in me, the feeling of my wetness running down my legs at Nikki's doing, is something I've missed.

"Do you really fuck yourself or did you tell me that to piss me off?" He asks me, his dark eyes staring at me, causing me to clench down tighter onto him. 

"I really do." I reply as he holds himself against my cervix, causing me to grab at the counter as the delicious pain causes a high pitched groan to leave my throat. 

"Do you pretend I'm fucking you?" He questions next, deliberately slowing his pace, the friction of his skin inside my slick pussy satiating the hunger I've been feeling the past several days.

"Yes." I whimper out, my eyes rolling back for a moment. 

"Who do you imagine playing with your pretty," his left hand snakes between my legs, calloused, rough, fingers rubbing at my slick flesh, and I back back into him, biting my lip, humming, "perfect clit?" He asks me and I let out a ragged breath. 

"You." I confess, my knuckles turning white with how tightly I'm gripping the side of the counter. 

"Whose cock do you imagine stretching your tight, hot, wet pussy out?" He asks next, and I'm almost considering trying to get away from him because I don't think I can handle this much ecstasy at one time.

"You." I say again, his hand holding my throat harder in his grip, making my breathing a little shallower, but it only makes me more turned on, another wave of my juices coating his length as he starts picking his pace back up, making me cover my mouth with my hand to keep from screaming. 

"Whose name do you scream out in your pillow when you come?" He asks finally, a couple more stray tears rolling down my cheeks as my body is overcome with my orgasm, his hand taking my hand from my mouth as I moan out, loudly, "Nikki", causing him to smile proudly at me in the mirror.

Within a couple more minutes he's finishing in me, and stumbling back a little, a dopey, satisfied smile on his face, while we both come down from our sexbuzz and catch our breath, before going another round.

Nikki's said before, "you know you're addicted when you start lying to yourself about how you're not addicted."

I couldn't agree more.

But the real kicker is waking up to your husband the next morning after having sex, and the both of you pretend like you're strangers, not exchanging a single word before you grab your shit and get the hell out of their as fast as possible before anyone else realizes what happened. 

For the first time in his career, Nikki Sixx treated me like a groupie. 

And you know what? 

It was better that way, because it left no room for, "Oh, well, we had sex which means we made up so we're good now." 

We woke up, didn't look each other in the eye, I got off the floor, put my swimsuit back on so I wouldn't be naked, grabbed my key, and left without a word or a second glance.

There was nothing more to say. 

We'd said "goodbye" to our relationship, the same way we had said "hello" to it in 1981: with sex that meant nothing, but meant everything, all at once.

We're back in L.A. a couple days later, and apparently Karen got some help cleaning mine and Nikki's room up where I completely trashed it, because when we get in the house, all of our photos are back up, his awards are nice and neat on the wall, and our room looks untouched. 

The only give away that something happened is the broken mirror on the ceilings, but he doesn't seem to pay them any mind.

I guess he knew I would inevitably break something. 

I keep my lips sealed tightly together as I hear our bedroom door open, initiating Nikki to walk by with a slight, hungover, stumble, as he makes his way to the kitchen, not saying a word to me, not that I expect him to. 

He's coming into the living room a moment later, my bag of gummy worms I bought yesterday, in hand, and I roll my jaw, not wanting to start a fight over fucking candy…

...But go big, or go the fuck home, right?

"Those are mine." I tell him, pretending to be reading the newspaper I was reading earlier, and he looks me directly in the eye, opening the bag, taking one out, and eating it. 

"My money, my groceries." He states, chewing it, and I exhale.

"I'm gonna go take a walk." Karen comments, sighing as she gets up and walks to the back yard, knowing this is going to get ugly. 

"You're right. It is your money." I tell him, not arguing the valid point. "And if you keep splurging on heroin, you won't have any of it left." I add and he death glares me. 

"I'm not on fucking smack." He argues sternly. 

"You only eat sweets when you're trying to cut back smack." I say and he looks away from me. "At least you're trying to cut it, though." I mumble. 

The bag of candy is suddenly colliding with my leg as he throws it at my lap, spitefully, standing up. 

"Nikki, you can hav--"

"--It's yours. You have it." He hisses, going back to our bedroom, slamming the door loud enough to sound almost like a gunshot, causing me to jump in my seat. 

Nikki: 1, Viv: 1

I decide to shower later on, opting for the guest bathroom to avoid having to see Nikki by walking through our bedroom to get to our bathroom. 

I'm only under the running water before I hear the locked door knob twist, before loud banging on the door. 

"Vivian!" He screams on the other side.

"Yes, dear?!" I call back, annoyed. 

"What the fuck happened to my fucking cars and bikes?!" 

I raise my brows, actually forgetting what I did to his precious vehicles until now. 

"Open the fucking door!" He demands and I roll my eyes. 

"Don't you have better things to do?! Like cleaning the fermented wine--that's been rotting in the hot heat of our garage--from the interior of your cars?!" 

I hear the door knob move some more, and I peek out the curtain to see the knob twist completely, the door opening, and I see the little key in his hand.

We both stare at each other for one good second before I'm screaming as he comes for me, but I'm ducking under his arm and trying not to trip and fall on my wet feet as I scurry out of the room. 

"I'm gonna kill you, Sixx!" He threatens and I panic a little.

"What the hell is going on?!" Karen asks us, keeping Nikki back when she steps out of the kitchen to stop him from chasing after me any further. 

"She completely vandalized my fucking cars and my bikes!" He points at me. 

"I didn't touch the Jeep." I argue and he nearly shoves Karen out of the way but she holds her ground.

"I'm about to call Doc if you two don't calm down." She threatens.

"I'm calling the cops and having her ass locked up." Nikki states. 

"Do it." I boldly snap. 

"No, no, no one's calling the cops." She says, letting out a breath. 

"Do you wanna go see what the fuck she did to my fucking stuff?!" He raises his voice at her, motioning in the direction of the garage. 

"Have you stopped to think that's a result of what you've done to her?" Karen questions him and he rolls his jaw. "I know you're not used to having repercussions and consequences to your actions, but it's a simple theory called 'cause and effect'." She states and he cuts his eyes at her, probably thinking she's full of shit. "The 'scorned wife effect.' You cheat, she destroys your belongings." She finishes, giving him a quick, sarcastic smile, before stepping out of his way. "If I hear either one of you screaming, again, I'm calling Doc."

He pushes past me, and I go back to my shower. 

When I get out, Nikki's nowhere to be seen and the Jeep is gone so I assume he got out of the house for a few minutes, and when I leave our room, going to the living room, I stop in my tracks. 

I see her from the corner of my eye, in the foyer, staring at me, and I turn to fully look at her.

She looks like she's been on a binge the past few days, her brown eyes wild and body slightly jittery, her hands gripping tightly to the sneakers I let her borrow a few months ago. 

All I could do was stare at her, just knowing Nikki was going to have to come home and clean up the mess that he made.

“Vanity.” I acknowledge her, but not for long before I’m walking into the kitchen, hearing an oncoming storm approach as thunder rattles in the distance. 

I grab a Pepsi from the fridge, hearing her slowly creep into the kitchen with me, and my eyes slowly find the knife block only an arms length away from me on the kitchen counter.

Sober Vanity wouldn’t think of hurting a fly. Coked out, crazy, reckless Vanity on the other hand…

“Do you have anything to say to me?” She asks me, shakily.

“Was it good, at least?” I reply, leaning against the counter, staring at her. “When you fucked my husband...knowing he was married...was it good?”

Apparently I’m striking a chord, because she’s got angry tears coming to her eyes, her jaw clenching.

“For someone who’s all about Jesus--”

“--He came to me.” She states, shakily, and I keep my face neutral, although I feel my heart tighten in my chest. “During your time apart last year, he saw me in a Vanity 6 video, and within two hours, I was getting a call from my manager telling me Nikki Sixx wanted a date night.”

“Is that what you tell yourself to make you feel better about it?” I ask, raising my brows. “‘He came to me, I didn’t go to him’? Because at the end of the day, he’s married, and you knew he was married, and instead of turning him away, you welcomed him with open arms.” I point out. 

“Have you ever thought perhaps I’m your punishment for not appreciating him?” She asks me, a tear breaking past her lashes.

“Excuse me?”

“God punishes his children when they’re not obedient. You made a promise to God to be the best wife to Nikki you could be, and you broke that promise more than enough times.” She adds.

“So you’re saying God used you--having an affair with my husband--to punish me?” I ask her to clarify. She stays silent, looking at me with pure hatred, and I nod a little, calmly.

My glass bottle is hitting her square in the chest before I can even stop myself, a look of utter shock on her face as Pepsi splashes all over her, her hand holding at the inevitable severely bruised skin bound to form from where it made impact.

Technically, since she wanted to get biblical, I was supposed to stone her to death. Being I didn’t have any rocks, and God frowns upon such things, I opted for a one-time thing that still hurt her but not enough to kill her.

I guess Karen heard the Pepsi bottle shatter on the floor, because she's coming in, with a concerned look on her face...before her skin goes sheet white upon seeing Vanity. 

"W-What's going on?" She asks me.

"Vanity was just leaving." I state, rolling my jaw and Vanity looks at me like she's ready to attack.

"I'm not going anywhere until I talk to him." She hisses. 

I hear the front door open, and I smile at her. 

"Now's your chance." I smugly say, stepping past her, my shoes crackling on the glass as I take my sneakers from her hands, going to our room to put them up, saying, "I suggest you go to your room to avoid getting caught in the crossfire", to Karen as I pass by her. 

When I get in our room, that's when shit hits the fan. 

"You'd have to be on horse tranquilizer before marrying me?!" I hear her scream. "Huh?! You break up with me over the phone and then act like I'm crazy and embarrass me?!"

"You are crazy!" Nikki screams back. 

I hear her shriek, before the sound of skin violently smacking against skin, as Vanity barks out, "if you hate me, hit me! If you just fucking hate me so much!" 

I run in to see her hitting at Nikki while he tries to keep his patience.

"Vanity!" I scold, trying to pull her off of him. 

Her left hand is suddenly coming back in a fist, hitting me square in the eye. 

This does it. 

She's knocked to the floor, and her nose is bleeding, Nikki's fist is clenched and smattered with Vanity's blood, and his eyes have a look in them I haven't seen before. 

Vanity's now screaming and crying, kicking and clawing at him as he tries to grab her wrist to pull her up, so he instead grabs her hair and drags her out of the house.

"Nikki!" I protest, catching up to him when he's already got her down our front steps. 

He let's her go and glares at me, before he stomps back in, slamming the door, locking us both outside. 

Vanity's crying, a stream of blood running down her face, my own nose spilling red, but I can't help but crouch beside her and wipe the blood from her face and angle her head back as she sobs. 

"Just pinch your nose." I mumble, taking her hand, that's raw from slapping Nikki, and pinching it at her nose. 

I had never seen Nikki that angry. He later described his altercation with Vanity, as "hitting her like a man." 

I'm not sure if he actually hit her just because she attacked him, because I attacked him multiple times, and he never hit me--the most he did was push me, or grab my wrists or my throat, and even that wasn't enough to really hurt me, just enough to get my attention. 

I think everything was put into that single episode. 

Every time she made his life harder from the moment she stepped in to it, and even his own self-hate for letting things get the way they did between them, all the anger he had felt for himself and her were packed into that single punch. 

And none of it should have ever fucking happened.

[thetradeway]

Session 41 17 Apr 2021: Wait, a TRAP door? Ahleqs casts Mage Armour.

Duncan is walking back from the opticians, so we start a little bit late. Ed is also going to be late, but he says to go ahead without him and he’ll catch up.

Mr. Pickles has a gift for Ahleqs (which Joe forgot until this week…)

Should be fun riding through the streets of Waterdeep - until he gets done by animal rights activists.

Matthew reminds us of what Brother Charity and Gideon did at the end of the last session - the buddy cop movie, during which they got some names of some people. (He explains in a very sketched out way until Sophie asks him to clarify a bit further, ‘like I was asleep or something’.) (For those who weren't there at the time, she *was* asleep.)

Mirt, Harper’s quest, Maxeene, talking horse, ride around the city, inn with a glory hole in it, disguised selves, names of a sun elf fellow and a half orc lady. Timothy P. Fuckapple and Thunderbuns, ah yes. (apparently Matthew was going for Danny Dyer, but he’ll take Ross Kemp.)

“That was exhilarating!” Charity says to Gideon as they flee down side alleys.

(Joe shows us an image of Undermountain, the dungeon under the Yawning Portal.)

(holy shit.)

We pick back up at the Dagger. Kessler wanted to ask Shanks about procuring us a book to offer the monks at Candlekeep. (Joe shows Melaina her new weasel…)

Kessler and Ahleqs arrive back at the Dagger, shortly followed by Charity, Carl and Gideon. Kessler points and laughs at Gideon’s disguise.

Tarragon has gone to find Renah and challenge her to an arm wrestle, loser buys drinks. Matthew worries that it might turn into a bar fight. Ahleqs: “It’s all fun and games until someone throws a dwarf.” Tarragon wins 18-21, and asks for a half an ale. “I’m very small and I’m not used to drinking.”

The others are deciding how to contact Shanks about the book. Ahleqs asks at the bar what would be the best way to get in touch. Ria and Jirr are tending bar tonight. Ria isn’t sure who Ahleqs means when he asks for Shanks. She offers to ask the other staff, and has a chat with Jirr.

Jirr can get a message to Shanks for us. Or - do we want to meet her? That might be better. Jirr will organise a meeting in the cellar. This might take a day or so to arrange.

Do we need preparations or supplies for the journey to Candlekeep? (Shopping episode! Somewhere, Travis Willingham sighs.)

We probably need rations. We also need to get passage on a boat - we could ask Surge (Gunna's water genasi friend in the Docks Ward), or Larissa. Either way, to the Docks Ward!

(Charity Prestidigitations Gideon before we leave.)

Kessler debates buying a shield and goes to speak to Filiare before we go, as well. (Scribe’s note: Her AC is already 18.) He will sell her one for 7gp; she accepts, choosing a metal one with a plain front so she can add her own design. She sells her crossbow bolts as well.

Ed joins us and Charity remembers about the mad druid that Tarragon needs to speak to, but that’s not for a few days. We decide to speak to Surge first as he’s slightly less dodgy, and if he’s unavailable or can’t help, then we’ll try Larissa. We’re trying to get passage but also get paid for it, like going to a festival and pretending to be cleaners.

(Duncan gets lost on his way to the kitchen to make coffee, and finds himself in the off license buying beer.)

As we go through the streets toward the docks, a bird lands on Tarragon’s shoulder and gives her a scroll from Amithrel, giving her the name of the druid whose tome may be of use in curing Tansy’s illness. She asks the bird to thank Amithrel for her and it flies off.

Kessler: “I wonder if I could snatch that bird out of the air…”

Duncan OOC: “This whole time I’ve just been imagining you grabbing birds out of the air and eating them.”

There follows a discussion about the diets of goblins, and how much evidence there is to suggest that they really do eat babies.

Melaina makes a Perception check to get us to the Docks ward (I almost wrote Dicks ward by accident lol). We find the temple, and Surge is in the middle of it, feeding sick sailors. He sees us and recognises us, and asks straight away if we’ve seen Gunna.

Melaina, suddenly and excitedly: “Have you seen him? Not that we care about… where… he… is…”

Surge says that he saw him briefly before he left, and that he said something about visiting his father. It could take a few months for him to return.

Melaina asks about passage on a boat. Do we want to pay, or work, Surge asks us? Well, we’ve acquired some skills in recent times. He asks about what sort of skills we have. Fire magic?, Ahleqs suggests. Tends not to be popular on wooden boats.

Kessler can make stuff…? Melaina is an elf, she could make a good lookout? Tarragon is a herbalist, she can make poultices. How many are there of us? Six? Yeah, six. Seven, if you count Brother Charity. (We’ve accepted Carl as one of us.) (Charity looks wounded.)

Ahleqs makes a Persuasion check with Guidance - 25 total.

To Candlekeep, you say? Maybe the return journey as well? Space for seven, we’re looking at a cargo ship. Is there any way Surge can contact us? We’re staying at the Dagger. Surge will ask around and send word.

Brother Charity has some shopping he wants to do. Where would he find adventuring supplies? Market in the Trades Ward. He wants Healer’s kits and scroll scribing kits, that sort of thing. We like to travel in a lump; our lump arrives in the Market.

Between a lucky roll and help from Charismatic Ahleqs, Charity can have 20gp off the asking price of 70, to the shopkeeper’s chagrin.

Tarragon buys some more herbs, as she’s offered her services as a herbalist on whatever ship Surge can get us passage on. Kessler buys some healing potions.

Anyone else want to do some panic buying? Chain mail! A gun! Some big bombs! The Death Star! Nope, that’s it. We head back to the Dagger.

So - rations, and a meeting with Shanks to maybe procure a book. Gideon has a heavy supper and falls asleep in front of the fire. (Tarragon: Five bean chilli from the new vegetarian menu, and a peach liqueur.) As we sit down to eat, Jirr motions to us. We’ve got a guest.

Shanks meets us in the cellar. Can she procure rare and curious books? Ahleqs explains what it is we need - a book that the monks of Candlekeep don’t already have in their collection. What about something unique, like a journal? Are we familiar with Xanathar’s thieves’ guild?

No-one is really sure what it’s real name is. The higher ups in that guild are known as The Hand. Their master of magic is a woman called Emerine (I think?). She’s a powerful wizard, not to be crossed. But she is undertaking research in the sewers, Shanks knows where. She has a something called the Tome of Bindings. Shanks could take us there to get it? She can time it for when the wizard isn’t in.

Would this wizard part with the book, or will we have to nick it? If we time it right, she won’t be there to defend it. But she’ll likely have traps and stuff. Ahleqs asks what do we think the chances are that she has an actual Beholder there? Low, says Shanks, as the guild leader is one and Beholders are notoriously territorial and won’t put up with another close by.

It would be doing Shanks a favour, if we got that book away from her. Can we be ready first thing?

Charity: “All those in favour say Aye.”

All of us except Kessler: “Aye!”

Kessler: “I don’t see why not, I mean I’ve got no objections…”

Shanks tells us it’ll be another trip to the sewer, so get ready.

Tarragon, thoughtfully: “Do you know anyone who sells nose plugs…”

Shanks returns the following morning and leads us into the sewer. We make CON saves against the smell. Only Tarragon fails and is polite enough to lean away rather than puking on Brother Charity, which she feels is very magnanimous of her.

Shanks leads us to a new (to us) part of the sewer, where we haven’t been before. It looks in poor state of repair. She points to a locked trap door. The wizard has been seen going in and out of there. Do we need help picking the lock…?

Melaina: “I think we’ve got this.”

(Wait, a TRAP door? Ahleqs casts Mage Armour.)

Melaina checks for traps and unlocks the door with ease, and after some wrangling, Joe gets a marching order out of us. (A police car goes by in horrible Nottingham.) There’s a small delay while Joe fights his way through all the gubbins I’ve filled roll20 with (SO MANY RED DRAGONS!), and puts our tokens on the board.

Back in the charming sewers again! It’s a nice part, and doesn’t smell. It’s part of the old elven sewer.

Ahead of her Kessler sees a metal door, with a slot into which something presumably fits. She checks for traps - it is not trapped. She goes for a pick, but rolls a 12 so nothing happens. She could try impact engineering… (Is that a fancy-lady way of saying she’s going to twat it?) Melaina elbows her way to the front and does it properly.

(Gideon has had too many meads and has probably fallen asleep - or gone to the kitchen to get sausages, so the DM moves him gently out of the way.)

We are just exploring when Joe tells us to stay where we are - uh oh!

We all make STR saves except Tarragon, who is now glad she was stuck at the back.

They roll so badly that they couldn’t pass if they added all their scores together. They are hit by lightning from the pillars in the room, as well as being blown around by wind.

Kessler shoots at one of the pillars to try and discharge the magic, but is at Disadvantage because of the wind and rolls a 9. It zaps her, and she takes 13 lightning damage.

Melaina has a go but also fails and takes some lightning damage. Joe rolls 4 1s for her damage though, noice.

Ahleqs makes an arcana check to see if he can figure out this magic, but rolls a nat 1. He uses a Sorcery point to re-roll for a 17. It seems to be retaliating when attacked, and there are glyphs on the floor that zap you if you stand on them.

Kessler and Tarragon see that the winds inside the sphere seem to be physically blowing the ammunition off course. Perhaps magic might work better…?

Ahleqs tries an Eldritch Blast, and it hits. Yay! He assumes the foetal position; just as well because he gets hit with lightning.

Tarragon does a Thorn Whip, which also hits. The pillar is starting to look damaged, and she takes 17 lightning damage. Oof! Kessler fires off a Firebolt, as Ahleqs downs a potion. She hits for 3 damage and takes 15 lightning damage. Yikes.

Melaina does a magic arrow at it - or, a spell? Or Charity can do a spell, so Melaina isn’t using up a spell slot?

He does a Divine Eldritch Blast. (A what? He is a Cleric, right? Sophie, OOC: ‘He’s a sneaky bastard is what he is.’) It does 1 damage, which is just enough - the pillar breaks. He does a Cure Wounds for Kessler, and offers the same to Ahleqs.

Melaina tries the door. It is a large, metal double door. She checks it for traps - once she’s found her character sheet again. She sees the telltale signs of trappage! She sleight of hand disarms it with a 27 - “Bazinga.” She then unlocks the door. It swings open to reveal a monster - “Lock it again! Lock it again!”

We roll initiative. DM asks if one of us want to take the Grease Wizard “because I think you’ll need him”. Oh shit. Matthew and Sophie both take him so they can squabble over him.

(Sophie OOC: “What is that thing? Oh, it’s massive and it’s got a big old sword.”)

It moves forward and breathes poison on Kessler, Melaina and Tarragon. Only Melaina makes her save. If only our front-line fighter wasn’t on a boat going to see his mum!

Tarragon rages and does Cure Wounds on herself (but the other way around); Melaina casts Woundbind on Kessler, who went down after the poison breath. (How’s that shield working out?) Melaina bonus-action-disengages and backs up.

Kessler gets to her feet and goes for a Thunder Gauntlet, which misses. She stands her ground.

Ahleqs: "I stand my ground too!" (We all laugh.) He screams (part of his spellcasting ritual), and casts Fireball. It doesn’t bother trying to make the save - ah shit.

Kessler, Tarragon, Ahleqs and Gideon (and Melaina) make perception checks - we all notice that the creature absorbs the fire, and any little dents in the armour repair themselves. Matthew-as-Gideon - “Fire appears to mend it!”

Ahleqs runs away.

Grease wizard doesn’t have Enlarge-Reduce prepared, sadly. He has a go at Enfeebling it instead. He rolls an 18 and it misses.

Oh fuck…

Kessler, right up in melee range: “Run, save yourselves!”

Ahleqs, already halfway out of the room: “Way ahead of you!”

Charity casts ‘a buffing spell’ on himself to get more HP, and then shilleweghilghosllhsoaslkhhah. Carl holds an action, as there’s not much he can do.

It’s the golem’s turn. It tries to squish Kessler, who is standing right in front of it, by bringing its sword down on her noggin. It misses! But dents her new shield. Then it swings an arm, trying to slam her into the wall. That time it hits for 14 damage.

Tarragon goes for an Indiana Jones slide between its legs but fails her Dex check and hits it in the legs. (If Duncan was DM she’d have hit something else.) She tries to batter it with her quarterstaff, but misses.

Melaina hides and shoots, and hits the thing! She rolls badly on her damage, however. (Joe assures us that this fight is winnable; we all make dubious noises.)

Kessler goes for the Thunder Gauntlets and hits it for 11 Thunder damage. She uses Fury of the Small on top for an extra 7 damage. She would like to disengage for a bonus action and split her attack; after a short discussion it’s decided that she can. She wants to move behind it so she makes a DEX check - and passes! Like a greased seal she slides between its legs. She goes for her second attack, with Advantage as she and Tarragon are now flanking it. She hits again for 8 more Thunder damage.

"Are we still in the shit? We kind of are, aren’t we." Ahleqs uses all his remaining Sorcery Points to create a 4th level spell slot before screaming “GO AWAY!” at it and casting Banishment. It fails the save and disappears!

We still need the gem around its neck, which is very much phase 2 of the plan, and Ahleqs will leave that to us.

Kessler: “I would say next time make that your opening gambit?”

Ahleqs, Concentrating: “Look, let’s not waste this minute bickering.”

(DM decides that was inspired so he won’t enforce it now, but next time Ahleqs casts Banishment he will actually have to produce the spell component - something distasteful to the target. Duncan, OOC: "I may go full monkey and fling my poo at it.")

We prepare - moving to flanking positions and rerolling initiative. Tarragon goes bear and waits to re-Rage.

Bear Tarragon and Kessler both hit with their attacks of opportunity as the thing pops back. Brother Charity goes for a whack with Sheldflhjdasdlaflfghhh, and natty 20s it for triple damage - 36 total!

It’s Kessler’s turn. She punches it upside the back of the head for a 19 which misses, then natty 20s for her second hit. Max damage, then she rolls the damage dice again, yeah!

Tarragon does a multi attack and crits with her claws - bloodied nose. Max damage and roll again - she gets max damage on that roll too! She’s so pleased it’s hard to maintain her rage.

Melaina goes for a shot but misses.

Ed has woken up! He is pleased to know that Matthew, about to take Gideon’s turn, was about to Grease something. He asks how this thing feels about fire, and is warned that it loves it. He’s very disappointed until he realises that he can use his new toy.

Wait is this the main big bad, or is this on the way to the big bad?

Sophie, OOC: “We just got into this dungeon, we’re in the foyer.”

He does Phantasmal Killer! The thing makes a WIS save - at Advantage - and fails. Ed, delighted: "It’s timid and scared and frightened." It makes another WIS save on each of its turns, or takes more psychic damage; for now it takes 16.

But…

It’s immune to psychic damage - and being frightened.

That is a poor show, Joe.

Brother Charity is up, and he’s the last one before the golem. Gideon: “We’ll have to do this the old fashioned way Charity, go and stab it with a spear!”

It’s still flanked, so Brother Charity rolls with Advantage and hits it with a 26 for 12 bludgeoning damage with Shillgslahkfksjddkghglhlhllbblhh. It’s looking tatty now, yeah!

It doesn’t get its breath weapon back, phew. It attacks the bear, at Disadvantage (because it is not attacking Kessler). It hits, but she takes half damage.

It’s Coward Time! He doesn’t need to move closer so he casts Shenanigans at level 2. He expends a spell slot to regain a sorcery point. Now he casts Shatter at level 3, using the sorcery point to use Careful Spell and steer it around his friends.

It does a CON save (“I imagine it’s okay at those”) which it has Advantage on, but it’s a construct so it has Disadvantage as per the spell. They cancel each other out so it makes a straight roll, and gets a 16 which succeeds. It takes half damage though. Having covered his eyes as he cast the spell Ahleqs shouts, “Did I get it?”

We all want Carl to get the how-de-do-dis. He does Gauntlets of Helm but misses even with Advantage.

Kessler goes for the Thunder Gauntlets and hits with her second attack, for 7 thunder damage. It’s at Disadvantage to attack anyone but her again.

Tarragon does a multi attack and hits with both - and gets the how-de-do-dis! She rips it apart with her bear claws, with a horrible screeching noise of claws on metal.

We get the crystal key!

(After the dust settles, Joe reminds us of when we fought the Flesh Ripper and Melaina very cleverly hid herself on the other side of a doorway through which the Flesh Ripper was too big to fit. We look again at the map we’re on now to see that we came through a corridor that would be too big for the golem… We are so stupid.)

The crystal fits in the slot in the door, which leads us down another corridor into a study. Melaina rolls to pick the lock with a 27. We get the book, yeah!

(Next week we pick up with our old campaign, for which I DM. I will try to add an entry here, but it won’t have the same level of detail!)

[xxisxxisxxis]

Preview: Shining Star | Part Five

Tag list: @teller258316 @reigns420 @xpoisonousrosesx @oskea93 @blowinmeupwithherlove @redlipscrystalskies14 @sparxx27 @kaitieskidmore1 @sublimeprincesswasteland @cruecifymesixx

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1966

"What're those up there, daddy?" My finger points past my dad's dusty truck window, pointing at the sky, the glittering lights striking contrast against the night sky…

He cranes his head out of his own window to look up and see what I'm talking about before looking back to the road. 

"Those're angels, Tansalyn." He tells me with certainty. 

"Angels?" 

"God's helpers that keep us safe." He explains. "Angels." 

"Why are they so tiny?"

"They all couldn't fit in the sky if they were big, now could they?" He chuckles. 

"Why are they in the sky?" 

"Because God's up there, baby. They wait for him to tell them what to do and they come down here and do it, but when they're not working, they're up there with him." 

"Granny said Bo is up there," I tell him, referring to my grandparents hunting dog, and my dad doesn't deny it, "is he an angel?" 

"Oh, I'm sure he's one of the most important, top angels that God's got." He nods and I feel a jittering happiness in me at the thought of him up there looking over me. 

I spend the rest of the drive looking out the window, trying to pin point which one is Bo...I decide it's the biggest, brightest one in the sky. 

I went years thinking the stars were angels and Venus was a goddamn hunting dog, until I was sorely informed it, indeed, was not.

1982

"Tansy, c'mon, our car's here!" Sparkie calls as I look up at the stars, smoking my cigarette, in the parking lot as we wait for our ride. 

I look up to see Tommy, tossing my cigarette aside, I run to him.

"Hey!" He squeezes me to him, hugging me tightly. "God, I've fucking missed you, Tans, you don't even come to see us anymore." He tells me.

"I've been working a lot so I haven't been able to, but I'm off a while, now, so I can stay a few days or something." I suggest as we pull away. 

Sparkie's coming with our bags in just a second and Tommy helps him put them in the car. 

"Viv's cooking, we gotta go by and grab her a few things from the store." Tommy informs us and I look at Sparkie. 

"You're gonna love Vivian, babe, she's the best." I tell him. "Oh, shit, I forgot, Tommy this is my boyfriend, Sparkie, Sparkie this is my friend Tommy." I introduce them and Tommy chuckles. 

"Nice to meet you, man." He says and Sparkie nods. 

"You, too, dude. I've heard a lot about you." 

"Oh, hell." Tommy groans slightly, probably knowing I've told Sparkie about his antics. 

Once we get to the apartment, Tommy and Sparkie stay at the car, talking and grabbing groceries while I go up and open the door, interrupting Vivian and Nikki having a screaming match. 

"Since when does alcohol and psychoactive drugs have anything to do with freedom?" Viv demands. 

"Since I was able to do them freely until I started having to put up with you." Nikki argues.

"Put up with me? You say that like you just tolerate me."

"Anytime I do something you don't think is good enough for you, you give me this look like I just shot a puppy. I can't breathe the wrong way without you looking down on me."

"Probably because when you 'breathe the wrong way', you're actually breathing wrong, due to all the depressants and stimulants you load into your body simultaneously! I don't look at you that way because I'm judging you, I look at you that way because I'm hoping you won't over do it and croak over, so forgive me for not wanting you snorting and drinking everything in sight tonight because I would like my boyfriend to not risk dying on my birthday but apparently that's too much to ask for, so go for it!"

I clear my throat, trying to keep the smile on my face, and Vivian and Nikki look at me. 

"Welcome to hell." Mick tells me from where he's laying on the couch...I'm contemplating leaving and coming back when the tension is gone, before Tommy pops up behind her, arms full of groceries and a wide, excited smile on his face. Completely oblivious to what was just happening. 

"Happy Birthday!" He pipes, walking in to set the bags on the counter and hugs Viv tightly, picking her up. Nikki and her continue to glare at each other while she's looking over Tommy's shoulder, and when he puts her back down, the two of them put on fake smiles so he won't know they're fighting.

"Hey, babe, where do I need to put this?" Sparkie comes in holding his Tupperware container.

"What is it?" Viv asks him, taking the container.

"Oh, Smack." He says casually and she's dropping the container in a matter of milliseconds, taking a step back and looking at Nikki with raised brows. 

"Vivian!" I complain, picking the container up, going to put it in the fridge but she blocks my way. "Oh, so, what? All the things these idiots pump themselves full of, you draw the line at heroin?" I ask her, hand on my side. 

"I am the line." She states. "I am not keeping some stranger's drugs in my fridge."

"It's not some random stranger, it's Sparkie." I remind her, hoping that'll help our case. "My boyfriend." I add.

"What is it?" Viv asks him, taking the container.

"Oh, Smack." He says casually and she's dropping the container in a matter of milliseconds, taking a step back and looking at Nikki with raised brows. 

"Vivian!" I complain, picking the container up, going to put it in the fridge but she blocks my way. "Oh, so, what? All the things these idiots pump themselves full of, you draw the line at heroin?" I ask her, hand on my side. 

"I am the line." She states. "I am not keeping some stranger's drugs in my fridge."

"It's not some random stranger, it's Sparkie." I remind her, hoping that'll help our case. "My boyfriend." I add. 

"I figured that." She tries to hide her disappointment...

"Why do they call you Sparkie?" Nikki asks him, skeptically. 

"Freebasing accident. Ether's easy to catch on fire, man." He tells him with a chuckle and Viv looks like a multitude of her brain cells are dying.  

"Fuckin' awesome, right, dude?" Tommy asks as he hits Nikki's shoulder and Nikki looks at Vivian with a smug expression.

"We have room in the fridge, right, Viv?" Nikki asks innocently and she rolls her jaw, looking at me and I smile pleadingly, really wanting them to give Sparkie a chance. 

"Absolutely." She says, taking the container from me and putting it in the fridge before we start cooking dinner.

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Fourteen

Part Thirteen

Pairing: Douglas Booth!Nikki Sixx x OC

Word Count: 5.2k

Warning(s): Language, mentions of drug abuse, minor sexual situations

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———————————————————————

June 30, 1983 approached with the speed of a Ferrari. Our wedding day held the same nerve racking energy as skydiving: we knew that jumping was going to be a thrill, but we didn't know whether we had a body of water or pavement waiting for us, or if our parachutes even worked.

"Vivian, are you nervous?" Tansy's mother, Diane asks me as I sit with curlers in my hair, Tansy putting foundation on me and I look at her.

Diane was a Barbie. I'm almost certain that she and Vince actually slept together at some point. She was a former Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader from '62-'63 before she got pregnant with Tansy and moved back to Mississippi. There wasn't a time I ever saw Diane with a platinum blonde hair out of place. Public imperfection equaled social suicide in her eyes and she made sure Tansy understood it down to the science of it. But Diane never tried to stop Tansy's partying because no one else who actually mattered knew about it. Everybody in the public thought she was innocent aside from showing her body in a magazine...until Tansy "accidentally" forgot to cover the tracks on her arms with makeup at one of her photo shoots in 1987. Diane nearly had a stroke —not because her daughter was so deep in a hole she couldn't get out of by herself—but because the world had found out her kid was on heroin and she was embarrassed.

"Depends on what Nikki's response to that question was." I tell her and she laughs.

"I haven't seen him yet." She tells me and I nod, licking my lips.

"I had to get him a couple shots of Jack earlier." Tansy comments, and I look up as she dots concealer under my eyes and pats it in.

"I'd be concerned if he weren't drinking." I reply.

"As long as he's drinking, we're good?" Diane states and I nod, looking at her with a little smile.

"As long as he's drinking, we're good." I repeat. "...unless he gets sober." I add.

"If the good Lord's willing and the creek don't rise." Tansy pipes and I look at her.

"That is the most backwoods thing I have ever heard you say." I mumble to her with a little chuckle.

"Mississippi." She reminds me of where she's from.

"Oh, I forget you're from Mississippi." I reply.

"Because she's got a attitude from L.A." Her mother states matter-of-fact, a sour tone to her voice.

"I'm a nice person, Mama." She argues just as Vince and Tommy are opening the door of the bridal sweet. "Guys, tell my mom I'm sweet."

"As taffy." Vince states sarcastically, and Tansy cuts her eyes at him.

"How's Nikki?" I ask Vince and he chuckles.

"He's fine." He replies to me. "We left him with Mick for a second. I was hoping I'd come in here and see some skin." He plops in a chair.

"Vince, do you not think it's inappropriate to want to see your best friend's wife naked?" I ask him, glancing at him as Tansy powders my face before applying mascara.

"You're not married yet, Saint Viv." He retorts, raising his brows.

"No, but you are." Tansy tells him smartly. "Should I go get Beth to come tighten your leash?"

"I'll tighten your leash." His voice is overly sexualized, looking her up and down and she pretends to gag in disgust but he turns it on her. "You've always had the prettiest little gag."

"Dude, I know." Tommy adds, sharing a mutual grin with Vince.

"You morons are disgusting and, Vince, you're drunk." I shoot at them. "Go sober up. I don't need you being messy." I speak sternly, and Vince exhales and stands, stumbling a little before heading back to the door with Tommy to make sure he won't face plant.

The tiny church is hot and stuffy due to lack of air conditioning and while we wait to start, the only thing keeping me from passing out is Tommy fanning me with a paper back bible he snagged from the back of a pew in the sanctuary as Tansy puts my veil in my waved hair.

"You're so pretty." She coos, admiring her hard work on my hair and makeup.

"You are, too." I reply in the same tone, looking at her perfect blonde hair that's curled flawlessly, the very top of it pinned back out of her delicate face. Big blue eyes are a contrast against her flowing emerald green dress that reaches just above her knees.

I finally found my dress just in time for it to be altered and ready for pick up a couple of days ago.

It's slightly itchy, the off the shoulder fitted lace sleeves reaching down to my wrists are slightly uncomfortable, but other than that it's perfect. The skirt of it is a little poofy, but nothing compared to the mountain of tool the first dress I tried on, was.

"Alright, I'm gonna go out there." She tells me hesitantly once the piano starts up, grasping my hand in hers.

I told you she just knew things the way Mick just knew things, and she knew Nikki and I had no idea what we were getting ourselves in to, she just didn't have the heart to tell us.

"I'm fine, Tansy." I assure her when she silently refuses to let go of my hand incase I need her to hold it due to fear. She just gives me a little smile and lets go, patting Tommy on the cheek before stepping out in the sanctuary.

Tommy's grinning ear to ear, seemingly about to burst.

"I can't believe two of my best friends are really doing this." He exhales through his large smile, looking at down at me. His smile falters a smidge, and he licks his lips, clearing his throat. "You sure you're alright, Viv? No cold feet or anything? Because there's a window up by the ceiling in the bathroom and I'll give you a boost out if you don't wanna do this."

"I'm okay, Tommy." I chuckle and he lets out a breath of relief. "Has Vince gotten sobered up a little?"

"Yeah, I made him chug some water."

It's our turn to walk out now and I hook my arm through his, my right hand gripping at my bouquet of Purple lilies, and I'm practically panting to calm my nerves.

"If you trip and fall, I will, too, so you're not alone or anything." He assures me and I have to keep from laughing loudly.

The church ushers open the door for us, and we slowly make our way down the aisle.

There's people Nikki invited that I've either never met or have seen them hanging out with the guys from time to time.

Diane, Sparkie, and Tommy's girlfriend are seated together beside Beth, Vince and Mick, and even as I'm walking down the aisle, Beth and Roxie are solely focused on shooting Tansy death glares as if they have rabies and want to tear in to her. Tommy’s parents and Doc weren’t able to come, but I highly doubt Nikki’s holding it against them, so I’m not worried with it either.

I don't look at Nikki until we're merely feet away from the alter, then my grip on Tommy's arm tightens to steel and I'm scared to let go because I might just trip and fall.

We get to the alter and stop, the minister asking who's giving me to Nikki. My best friend tells him he is, before lifting my veil and kissing my cheek. I hand my flowers to Tansy and Tommy takes my hand that he's holding, about to pass me to Nikki.

He stops midway, though, to hug me tightly, and I swear his eyes are watering but I don't give it a second thought.

The hug only lasts a few seconds and he's giving Nikki my hand before stepping to his side as his best man.

I'm hit with the weight of all of this the second Nikki's skin touches mine, our grips on each other's hands tightening as we both give out nervous smiles, waiting for the minister to start.

"We have gathered here today to celebrate the joining of Nikki and Vivian in holy matrimony. I didn't have much time to prepare a message being that Miss Kinston contacted me only two weeks ago and asked if she could have her wedding here."A few people, including myself, chuckle as he continues. "But we'll make it work the best that we can." He smiles at me and Nikki, opening his bible. "Before I begin, is there anyone who finds any reason as to why these two should not be joined together as husband and wife? If so, speak now or forever hold your peace." No one says a thing, and he nods at the two of us slightly before starting.

"A marriage between any two people is a direct representation of Jesus' commitment to his church. You will make sacrifices for your wife the way Christ sacrificed himself for his church, while you will love your husband the way the church is suppose to love Christ."

Nikki rolls his eyes and I squeeze his hand, causing him to cut his eyes a little at me while I silently scold him.

"To know love is to know God because God is love. 1 Corinthians states that, 'Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.'" He tells us. "A marriage is not meant to be two halves coming together to form a whole, but two complete people coming together to form a team and a partnership. Your triumphs will be your partner's triumphs to celebrate with you. Your struggles will be your partner's struggles to mourn with you. You two will go through the greatest highs together but also the most heartbreaking lows. You must never lose yourselves or each other in turmoil, however. Support each other, encourage each other, comfort each other, fight for each other. Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sin.” He explains and I let out a soft breath, feeling my nervousness start to fade. "Before we start the reciting of vows, I would like to precede with a passage from Ruth. ‘And Ruth said, Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall by my people, and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there will I be buried. May the Lord do so to me and more also if anything but death parts me from you." By the time he’s finished reading, I’m nearly tearing up. “The rings, please," The minister motions to Tommy and Tansy. Tommy hands Nikki the small diamond ring for me and Tansy hands me the simple gold wedding band for Nikki. "Nikki, repeat after me, 'I, Nikki, take thee, Vivian, to be my lawfully wedded wife.'"

Nikki takes a deep breath and licks his lips before saying:

"I, Nikki, take thee, Vivian, to be my lawfully wedded wife."

"To have and to hold from this day forward, for better, or for worse."

"To have and to hold from this day forward, for better, or for worse."

"For rich, or for poor, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish,"

"For rich, or for poor, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish,"

"Till death do us part."

"Till death do us part."

"Vivian, do you accept these vows promised to you by Nikki?"

"I do." I nod, sniffling.

"Nikki, take Vivian's ring and place it on her finger."

He obeys, his hand shaking slightly as he slides the ring to rest beside the plain silver band he proposed to me with. "With this ring, I thee wed. With all I am, and all I have, I honor you."

"With this ring, I thee wed. With all I am, and all I have, I honor you." He repeats after him.

"Vivian, repeat after me. 'I, Vivian, take thee, Nikki, to be my lawfully wedded husband.'"

"I, Vivian, take thee, Nikki, to be my lawfully wedded husband."

"To have and to hold from this day forward, for better, or for worse."

"To have and to hold from this day forward, for better, or for worse."

"For rich, or for poor, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish,"

"For rich, or for poor, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish,"

"Till death do us part."

"Till death do us part."

"Nikki, do you accept these vows promised to you by Vivian?" He asks after I am done with my vows.

"I sure as hell do." Nikki assures us and I squeeze my eyes closed and laugh with everyone else at his blatancy.

"Vivian, take Nikki's ring and place it on his finger."

I do so, my eyes meeting Nikki's and refusing to look away.

"With this ring, I thee wed. With all I am, and all I have, I honor you." The minister states for me to speak to Nikki.

"With this ring, I thee wed. With all I am, and all I have, I honor you." I restate.

"So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let no man separate."

I barely hear the cheers and hollering of our guests due to the unexpected urgency Nikki pulls me to him with, wrapping me tightly in his arms as his lips press to mine.

I'm a sobbing mess and I'm not exactly sure why, but I tell myself it's because I'm overwhelmed with happiness.

When he pulls away, he's wiping my tears with his thumbs.

"You taste like booze." I tell him, and he smiles and kisses me again chastely.

Our reception was at Tansy's mother's beach house in Malibu and I apologized to her in advance for the shenanigans that would inevitably take place under her roof.

"Alright, one, two, three." Diane counts off and the "click" of the camera softly sounds off.

"Next!" I motion for Mick and Vince to join Me, Nikki, Tansy and Tommy as we take our wedding party pictures in the formal living room.

"Sooner we get done with this the sooner we can get wasted." Nikki reminds everyone as Mick and Vince step to us.

Mick stands on the other side of Tommy and Tansy as Vince stands beside me and Nikki.

Another "click" initiates Nikki shooing everyone away so me and him can have our own picture.

Just as the camera captures the picture, Nikki's hands curve under my arms and grasp at my breasts, causing my eyes to widen as the flash hits us.

"Nikki!" I scold him, nearly hitting him with my bouquet.

He and the guys think it's hilarious while I'm swatting at him, trying to hold back my laughter.

We calm down so she can take another photo, and like the last time, he's got something slick up his sleeve.

Before I know it, he's lifting the back of my skirt and grabbing between my legs, opting me to squeal and laugh so hard my eyes are squeezing closed once the picture is taken.

He's kissing my cheek when he stands back up, fixing my dress to take an actual serious picture.

It's taken with ease, the last picture left to take is of me and Tansy and once we're done with that, every one of us are ready to go eat food and the guys are ready to get wrecked.

People are soon scattered throughout the house with plates of food, sitting and standing wherever they can get.

"Guys," Tansy mother's says to us, holding her video camera. "Say 'hi'."

Me, Nikki, Vince, Beth, Tommy, Roxie, Mick, Tansy, and Sparkie are all gathered around the coffee table, seated on the carpet.

We look in her direction, Tansy and I give actual smiles to the camera while the boys shout profanities and shoot birds.

"Nikki, are you excited to be a husband?" Diane asks him in a teasing tone and he looks at me and smirks.

"So excited that I just might conveniently accidentally croak of alcohol poisoning tonight." He states, taking a swig of his wine and I give an unamused look at the camera, feeling Nikki take my left hand in his right before I say:

"That's why he's not getting laid tonight." Just after I say it, Nikki's digging his teeth in to my wrist, causing me to snatch away from him as he chuckles.

Everyone's pretty tipsy, and I'm 99.9% sure Tansy, Tommy and Vince are a little coked out while Sparkie tries to sneakily down a couple Quaaludes with his whiskey.

When it's time to the cut the cake, Diane wants a million pictures and to capture it on tape like she did the rest of the wedding and majority of the reception.

"You do not know how to cut a cake." I tell Nikki as we both hold the large knife, trying to find a starting place.

"Hush or I'll cut you." He threatens me in a almost serious tone but I know he means it playfully.

"Shh, people can't know I'm in to kinky shit like that." I mumble.

"I'm gonna start putting a tally mark on my arm every time you cuss just to see if you ever do it more than five times a year." He pokes at me.

"I cuss all the time." I argue as he settles on a place to cut the cake.

"The only time you really do is when we're fucking and I won't count those times or I'll run out of room on my arm in a couple minutes." He replies with a smirk.

"I don't do it that much when we're fooling around."

"Viv, I forget whether my name's 'Nikki' or 'Oh, fuck' anytime we do anything." He states, the two of us cutting in to the thick icing.

Oblivious to our quiet conversation, everybody claps once we get the piece of cake on to the plate I'm holding in my other hand and Diana hands us both forks.

Just as we get the cake on our forks, the both of us are taking our fingers and are trying to swipe cake down each other's faces, laughing like idiots.

It's smeared around his mouth and on his cheek but he's painted the white icing and sponge from my forehead, down my nose and to my chin.

Before I can wipe it off of me, he's licking it off of me.

People whistle suggestively, while others laugh, and I look at Tommy just in time for him to get a Polaroid picture of me wearing my cake and my husband licking it off of me.

Nikki licks off what he can, before kissing me with a wide smile, then grabbing a napkin and wiping the rest off before he wipes it off of his face, too.

I reach up and kiss him again once we're finished actually eating our cake as people each get their own slice, and Tommy finishes his and clears his throat, standing up and clinking his fork against a bottle of Jack.

He's standing on the coffee table in the living room, in our view from where we are in the kitchen, and everyone goes quiet as he says, "Hey, I'd like to say a little something."

I brace myself for his words, no telling what is going to come out of him as he stares at me and Nikki.

"I have known Vivian for a majority of my life. She's super nice, most of the time, and really smart and talented," He says, smiling at me. "I don't know how many of you guys know her all that well but she's not exactly like any of my other friends. She'll go party with us but be the only one drinking water, stay out with us Saturday nights until five in the morning and then get up and go to church every Sunday. Her ideal guy was a preacher's son or some shit and Nikki humped anything. So I didn't expect it to get this far. I thought she would get tired of all our bullshit and leave all of us, or Nikki would get tired of her not being wild enough or something. But she loves Nikki and all of us exactly how we are and Nikki loves her enough to not care whether she's crazy like us or not because she's wild where it counts and doesn’t get on her knees to just pray." People "ooh" at his claim and I feel my face heat up a little bit as Nikki pats me on the head. "Sorry," Tommy reads my expression and gives me a nervous smile before continuing. "Seriously, though, she chose Nikki over her own parents." He adds, looking directly at me. "Which was something I wouldn't be able to do if I were her. Just like I wouldn't be able to do any of this music stuff by myself the way Nikki was doing when I first met him." He switches his attention to Nikki. "They're two of the coolest and strongest people I know and it's pretty awesome that they're married now. So," He holds his bottle up. "cheers to the motherfucking Sixx's."

Everyone says "cheers" and takes a sip of their drinks, including me and Nikki.

Within a few minutes, Nikki’s convincing me to let him try to take my garter off with his teeth so he can throw it to the men at the party to fight over it like animals.

I eventually agree, sitting down, my hands digging in to the fabric of my dress as I hold back nervous laughter because I'm ticklish and I know he'll milking the hell out of it. He's crouched in front of me, picking my right ankle up, looking at me deviously as he presses a kiss to the inside of my ankle.

I already know where's he's going with this and so does everyone else, his buddies egging him on as he continues pressing little kisses up the inside of my calf muscle, heading up the inside of thigh.

I don't know why I expect him to actually stop at the garter but he doesn't.

I bite my tongue to keep from squealing when he gets to the hem of my panties, squeezing my eyes closed and covering my face with my hands as he gives one little bite to my lace covered core before tugging my panties off with his teeth, taking the garter with him as he heads back down my thigh and gets them passed my heeled feet. All the guys are like piranhas as he ties the panties and garter together before throwing them in to the small crowd of men that's gathered.

They fly over the crowd, though, and land on the back couch cushion right by Mick, who's got his sunglasses on and nursing a bottle of Vodka.

There's no one else I'd rather give my panties to. Mick's a God.

When it's my turn to toss my bouquet, some girl and Roxie are nearly fist fighting over it, completely disregarding the flowers themselves as they bicker over who caught them.

Tommy takes advantage of the bouquet that's now on the floor and sneakily grabs it and hands it off to Tansy who runs up to her room in the house to hide them.

We never planned to have a first dance together, however, about another hour in to the reception, Tansy randomly shuts off the record player and puts in to sing a cover of Ben E. King's "Stand By Me", and begs a drunk Vince to accompany her a cappella. Nikki's nudging me out of his lap, from where we're seated on the couch, and sets his drink down.

Before I can ask, "what's wrong?", he's grasping at my hand and pulling me to him with a slight sway, smirking at me when I raise a brow, a little shocked that he's actually dancing with me without me having to beg him.

His right hand rests at my waist as his left holds at my right hand, my left hand resting on his arm.

Tans and Vince are easy to catch a rhythm to, despite the blonde singer's intoxication. Beth's livid at the fact he's interacting with Tansy, though, and Nikki's silently laughing at her pissed off expression.

We're surrounded by people but he's the only person I see right now.

He looks down at me and I feel immense déjà vu. I'm suddenly back at the Starwood, seeing him up close for the first time. We hated each other back then, and now we can't get enough of each other.

My lips and tongue meet his, my arm reaching to his back to pull him as close as possible to me and he does the same, pulling me to him by my waist.

Once we pull away, he's smiling at me, his eyes locking with mine.

I could stare in to his eyes for an eternity. His eyes were so beautiful. They always had this lively sparkle to them. I always thought he had poetic eyes that told a million stories to whoever paid attention. I would've stared in to those eyes longer, had I known that would've been one of the last times I saw that sparkle bursting with enthusiasm and life before they just turned cold, dead and void.

Later on, I'm with Tansy when Nikki comes up to me holding his keys, Tommy and Roxie trailing behind him.

"Are we leaving?" I ask him, about to stand up from where I'm sitting but he stops me.

"Um, me and Tommy were gonna head back and stop by a friends house for a couple hours." He tells me hesitantly as if he's a little and he's nervous of being told "no."

I know a "friends house" means a party and a "couple hours" means all night.

"Nikki, it's our wedding night." I state as if he forgot and he gives me a grin.

"I know, I won't be gone all night." It's a blatant lie and I know it, but he's convincing like he always is.

"Okay, just be careful, please. I'm serious." I say without a trace of leisure and he nods, his smile growing from ear to ear as he and Tommy glance at each other.

He kisses me one last time before turning to go, announcing to everyone he's "fuckin' outta here" and thanks them for coming.

Before Tommy can get out the door I'm snatching him by his sleeve and stopping him.

He snaps around in my direction with wide eyes and I don't give him time to speak.

"Don't be overzealously stupid. Don't let him be overzealously stupid." I threaten him.

"Yes ma'am." He assures me, giving me a shit eating grin.

"I'm serious, Tommy." I snap.

"Chill out, Viv. We'll be fine." He is waves me off before leaving and that nagging feeling I felt when Nikki told me where they were going isn't eased in the slightest.

By the time everyone leaves, including Mick, Vince and Beth—me, Diane, and Tansy are starting to finish cleaning up while Sparkie’s passed out.

“You can head home, Vivian. I don’t want Nikki to get there and you still be a couple hours away.” Tansy tells me and I shake my head.

“He’s at a party. He probably won’t be coming home until morning.” I tell her and she nods.

“Well, me and Sparkie are gonna crash here. You can, too, if you want to.” She offers.

“I probably will. I’m just ready to get out of this dress.” I mumble, glancing at the clock on the wall to see it’s already two o’clock in the morning.

Tansy lends me a T-shirt that practically swallows her whole, and a pair of pajama shorts.

By the time I’ve gotten my makeup off, taken a shower and crawled in to the bed of one of the spare bedrooms, I’m nearly half asleep.

Until the phone starts ringing.

I hear Diane answer it downstairs, her voice just as tired sounding as I feel, but she suddenly snaps out of her sleepy daze.

“She’s upstairs asleep.” I hear her say, and I furrow my brows and sit up. “I’ll go get her.”

Within a moment, she’s opening the door and looking at me with wide eyes and a pale face.

“Doc McGhee is on the line—”

I don’t let her finish before I’m darting past her and almost tripping over myself to get down the stairs to the phone.

“Hello?” I ask, a panic to my voice. I hear him take a deep breath before calmly stating:

“Vivian, you need to get back to town. Nikki’s wrapped his Porsche around a pole.”