#OH and cat and i were both talking about the ost bc i was trying to recommend a track to them

[elegyofthemoon]

What's a videogame you'd like to play but haven't yet?

ENDER LILIES

SOOOOOOOOOOOO BAD YOU HAVE NO IDEA

the music is so beautiful and is done by this artist mili that ive loved for a long while!!

and the artstyle is so pretty!!

im not super good on the type of game it is BUT im willing to give it a try just once! (i have it on my switch actially bc it was on sale but i just havent gotten a chance to sit and play it bc i got swept away by engage....and then i forgot to finish engage 😅)

OH also I'd just really love to know the further context on "bulbel" because that song hits me hard for one of my beloved fave characters but it'd mean so much more to understand what the song refers to!!

[shinjaeha]

itsay ep 3 (thoughts + spoilers)

itsay ep 3 fucking obliterated me so here i am with some more thoughts on this episode (drama) in general. this is just me being an incoherent mess bc my mind is basically just one long !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! after having watched this (once raw and again subbed). this isn’t an analysis, it’s literally me just gushing over the ep as i watch it bc boy oh BOY.

WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT EVERYTHING HITTING DIFFERENT AFTER THE BOAT SCENE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! if i thought the tension in the boat knocked the breath out of me, this whole ep was that x10000.

they really started us off with a bang having continued straight off from last ep with teh smelling oh-aew’s hair, huh?? teh rubbing his face with the coconut paralleled with oh-aew smelling his coconut scented shampoo?? excuse me as i cry into my hands.

teh wasn’t willing to wake up early for tarn when she wanted to draw early in the morning, but when he sees that oh-aew wants to wake up early to study, HE’S the one that makes sure that oh-aew wakes up (and he stays up to keep oh-aew company, even if it’s just over the phone). then again when they’re at the resort...love that tarn realises that too. boy ain’t subtle. also, how is it even possible that they can have that much tension just speaking over the phone?? they’re not even in the same room and the tension between the two of them is so thick i can barely breathe.

the “let me know when you’re home”!!!!!!!!!!!!! BOYFRIEND BEHAVIOUR. as soon as oh-aew asked teh why he always asked tarn that, i KNEW they were gonna put that in there for him and oh-aew and i’m glad i wasn’t disappointed :))) the look on oh-aew’s face when he saw the text!!!!!!!!!!! the way he stopped in his tracks!!!!!!!!!

i already had a feeling that oh-aew was going to be the first one to properly realise and accept his feelings for teh based on the teasers (makes sense since he already knows he likes boys...he’s more sure of his sexuality, which would of course make it easier for him to accept based on that). seeing the way he used the ‘if you get close to him and he doesn’t move away it means he likes you’ theory that teh initially told him to try on bas with teh too was really cute. and the jealousy over tarn. i LOVED that we got to see a more petty side to him when he announced he was going to room with bas partly bc of how lowkey jealous/mad he was about teh and tarn talking over the phone. it left teh so unsettled and confused (the piano music was PERFECT in that scene), and is 510% something teh would have done too (based on the previous two eps). they really are a perfect match huh. but poor bas being caught in the middle of the two of them ;;;

i liked that a lot of this ep was from oh-aew’s perspective. i feel like we got mostly teh’s pov in the first two eps, so it was really nice to see things from oh-aew’s pov too. gave us all more insight into his personality and he’s honestly SO MUCH more flirty than i thought he was going to be omg. the potato chip scene where he just crawled over to teh and ate that potato chip all the while staring straight at teh, then lying on his lap?????????? teh was (understandably) flustered after that AND SO WAS I. i was not expecting that whatsoever. i was also really impressed with how honest oh-aew was about his feelings. i love that he’s stayed true to their previous heart to heart in the boat scene last ep where he basically told teh that he wanted transparency between the two of them. he’s sticking to that, and i admire him so much for being able to be that vulnerable and true to himself. i thought there might have been more confusion with bas, but it looks like as soon as he realised his feelings might have faded/that he was feeling things for teh now, he just went with it. i know in my last text post i said that oh-aew is usually the more cautious/pragmatic of the two, but i feel like when it comes to his feelings, he seems to be really in tune with who and what he wants (more so than teh). this of course makes sense bc he’s likely had more time to come to terms with his sexuality...which is what teh’s figuring out for himself now. on top of that, oh-aew’s feelings for teh are a lot stronger than the ones he has for bas. and since he’s also more certain that teh likes him back, he’s so much bolder in how he approaches teh. and teh, to his credit, returns that honesty too when oh-aew basically pushes him into acknowledging that there’s ~something between them (hammock scene). i was kind of expecting him to push away from that/deny it, but he didn’t. he’s obviously just a lot more confused with his feelings and still needs some time to understand them and process them fully. on a related note, hammock scene was so loaded and SO well acted by the both of them. the fact that they can move from playful in one scene too achingly intense in another always throws me for a loop.

another thing i really love about the two of them is how they push one another to be better. it’s that rivalry that makes their bond even stronger, but it’s also something that worries me for future eps ngl...

but i honestly feel SO BAD for bas...clearly, he likes oh-aew, and although oh-aew was initially confused with the two of them, he’s definitely more convinced when it comes to his feelings for teh. but when bas essentially asked oh-aew out, and oh-aew said let’s invite the rest of they guys?? he looked so sad and my heart kind of broke a little. it’s like watching the poor second lead in a kdrama. and tarn too :( i really hope that when teh accepts his feelings for oh-aew, he doesn’t keep her hanging on the way that most BLs tend to do. she deserves so much better than that. my heart really hurts for the both of them, but at the same time teh and oh-aew are just magnets being pulled together at this point. they can’t stay away from each other.

the scene where teh rubs the smell of oh-aew’s coconut scented pen (from what he’s written) all over his face bc he’s at his limit and can’t stand all those pent up feelings anymore, only to race out to their special meeting place on the beach????? the moment he sees that oh-aew’s there too and he chases after him entranced (and the smile on oh-aew’s face)????? the way the instrumental ost just swells the moment they see each other????? the way they tease and dance around another yet again?????  PURE ART. A CINEMATIC MASTERPIECE. THIS IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL DRAMA I HAVE EVER SEEN. this whole sequence has to be my fave scene in this ep. god, that part where the camera closes in on them and they’re face to face before oh-aew steps away again had my heart trying to flutter its way out of my CHEST. THEY HAVEN’T EVEN KISSED IN THE SERIES YET AND THEY CAN REDUCE ME TO THIS. honestly, their power is something else. the fact that they can stir so many emotions in all of us just by the way they glance at one another, by the way they dart around one another barely touching...there are dramas/movies with multiple kiss/love scenes that can’t even create that tension and longing. it’s the kind of chemistry that burns you inside out. it’s so palpable.

the thigh massage scene had me CAPTIVATED (like all their scenes tbh) and then teh’s mum came to wake me (and the both of them) up haha. but for real, there’s just something so tentative about what’s happening. these feelings are new to them, and they’re easing their way into it. always toeing the line, but not overstepping it yet. it’s primal. they keep letting those feelings build up more and more and more. and you can always feel the way it’s leading to something else. and of course it leads into the next scene where teh’s tutoring oh-aew again but the atmosphere is so incredibly heavy, so tight, that they can’t contain it anymore (i mean, the fact that they contained it for so long when they’re teenage boys with feelings for one another is already astounding enough to me). teh tries so hard, but then the back scratch happens and...THIS ICONIC SCENE...i thought they were going to kiss then (before oh-aew turned around), but then we got something else entirely and the intimacy of it all. just wow. literally not a single kiss and it was one of the most sensual scenes i have ever seen in a BL. it’s just the way they get so caught up in one another. THE YEARNING OF IT ALL. this whole ep was just pure anticipation, and i have never ever wanted two characters to kiss more than i do these two. it’s the build up that gets me (idk if this can be considered slow build since there’s only been like three eps but it sure as hell feels like it!!!!!!!!!). then teh pulls away and it’s like a smack in the gut...but at the same time, i get it. he’s not ready yet. there’s so much for him to take in and he’s not there yet (not the way oh-aew is), and just like oh-aew, it keeps us all hanging on, so close but not quite there yet.

so much of this felt like this cat and mouse game between the both of them where one of them would advance, then retract...it makes the tension between the two of them even MORE overwhelming bc you keep anticipating something, and you get fleeting moments of it, but then it’s over by the time you blink. they keep toying with one another, but not crossing the line YET bc they know that that’ll change everything the moment they do. it’s such a testament to the writing AND the acting bc it’s the chemistry that bkpp have with one another that creates all of that push and pull dynamic, that yearning and desire. having to wait a whole week again is just devastating...i think next ep seems like it might be the climax?? i’m pretty sure it’ll be the ep where teh accepts his feelings (or at least won’t be able to hold himself back physically anymore), where all the build up finally properly erupts, but at the same time, i just know that the angst is going to start piling up and idk how to feel other than terrified bc i’m way too invested now tbh.

anyway, this drama is absolutely magnificent, and all i want to do is rave about how damn good it is. so high quality. it feels so fresh, like they’re reinvented the tried and true coming of age tale in a way, and we’re all just along for the ride. it transcends the typical thai BL story (and i now understand why they were hesitant to label this as BL when it really feels like it encompasses so much more than the usual BL tropes and story). one of my fave dramas of the year by far (BL or otherwise). it’s just a class apart from any drama i’ve watched before and ticks every single box for me. stunning in every way. down to every detail and every feeling and emotion. it’s so raw and real and i can’t praise what nadao and the team have done with this enough (and we still have 2 more eps to go!!). there’s just so much meaning in every little thing, and in all those little things you can see the time and care it’s taken them to make this.

[lilyhoshikawa]

🎥🎶💕🏳‍🌈💎 for hunters perhaps? >:3c

Oh golly! Ok fndkfnfn let me do this then. This may be difficult-

🎥: Do you have any favorite scenes from your hyperfixation?

This is hard bc I have a lot of scenes I like and good scenes keep happening dhdjfn.

There are a lot of stand-outs so far. Among them is definitely like, the confrontation in the car between Blake and Sakio, and the recent social link scene with Blake and Lena on the boat.

Scenes that DON’T involve my own character that I adore include. The scene with Sakio and Camellia at the graveyard. The scene with with Lena and Twitch outside the store. The Sammy’s scene where they read Tango’s letter. Also the scene with Sammy and Masumi bc it was just extremely funny.

🎶: If your hyperfixation has songs / an OST, what is your favorite song from it?

Hm. Well time once again to advertise my Blake playlist, which I’m constantly putting a lot of work and thought into tbh dhjddb, I’ve deleted a fair number of songs from it when I feel they don’t fit, and I’m constantly messing with the order of the songs in relation to Blake’s prospective characters arc, and adding more as I find them fndkfnf I’m always on the lookout.

Also, vane is constantly updating the official playlist with some real bangers, and I appreciate that. Amil’s and Twitch’s themes are real good.

💕: Tell us about one of your favorite characters and why you like them!

Everybody has really really good characters, heck. One thing that strikes me is that even with taking the backseat and having to be on autopilot for several sessions, Camellia still has such a strong and distinct personality, to the point where everyone is on the same page abt them, and I think that’s just really amazing dhdjfjf, that’s how strong an impression they make every time they’re around.

Lena is also so good, she’s like… I think abt her frequently. Sometimes I just start giggling when I think abt Lena, bc she is a national treasure, and I hope she knows I care abt her. She’s great in this way that she’s both very funny/cute and also has a lot of depth and nuance to her arc, and I’m so excited for more.

In the same vein, Sammy. No one character has made me go from giggling to sobbing as fast as this green goat. One moment Sammy is making their cat do a little greeting and I’m rolling on the floor from the cuteness, and then the next second they’re crying and saying they don’t want to be left behind, and then I am also crying. How do they do it. The absolute range.

I also really appreciate Ilse like, particularly in contrast to Blake sometimes, in that Ilse is very smart in a way that’s quiet, self-conscious and careful, while Blake is at times recklessly arrogant, and those two bounce off each other well. Ilse feels mature at times but every time they quietly like, try to be the bigger person, or to not make a problem of themselves, I wanna give them a hug and be like “u deserve to be recognized and acknowledged and u deserve better” dhdjdndjdn. When u have big personalities like Sakio and Lena and Blake in the party there’s something compelling abt Ilse being with them and not asserting themselves as they try to do their best, if that makes sense, and I want them to know I see and appreciate them.

Sakio is also so good and I’ve talked abt this to vane plenty before but holy shit. There’s so much obvious care and love and effort and skill that went into writing a character who is both wrong in many ways, and who many player characters antagonize for good reason, and yet still so incredibly sympathetic, so likable and so compelling. The fact that both Blake and Lena have this relationship with Sakio where they don’t like or trust her, necessarily, but also can’t deal with her not being there, is so fucking good, it creates such powerful conflict in the smallest of ways. Sakio is great bc I love her and I understand her and I appreciate her, but I also wanna yell at her and think she is absolutely horribly wrong about incredibly crucial things and u can FEEL that turmoil in her as well, with her knowing on some level that her actions are going to cause harm, and she’s just waiting and hoping to take the fall, thinking, maybe foolishly, that she can, and that doing so will save everyone else.

I also fucking love so many minor characters we haven’t seen much of so far. I absolutely love Bee and I’ve told vane abt this but she’s just a total icon. Theo is also great, he is the only valid he/him in the entire campaign djdkfj. I love Twitch as well and I’m very excited for some of the interesting stuff in Twitch’s arc that has been hinted at coming to fruition later on, that’s very exciting. I’m also very excited to learn more abt Amil’s whole deal, I appreciate them a lot and I feel bad every time I have to make Blake come pester them fndkfnf. Oh also Prim, how did I forget Prim… what’s going on with her, I have no idea, but she’s a mean lady and my love for mean ladies is well-documented. Also her look is iconic. Also also Puck, the fact that he’s a child and I didn’t know it for several months shocked me to my core but it has made his brand of Shakespearean mischief that much more endearing, and now I seek only to give him snacks and let him sit in his funny garbage throne. I forgot abt Puck earlier so I’ll say he is the second valid he/him in the campaign but frankly I think Puck should take some neopronouns for a spin, he deserves it.

🏳️‍🌈: Do you have any headcanons (LGBT, race, neuro, etc.) that are important to you?

(*throws neurological disorders at Blake*) jdkdnfkf no but jokes aside. I love that this party is like, 5 player characters, 4 of whom use they/them. Just. The raw power of a persona series written by LGBT+ ppl…

I can’t speak on other ppl’s characters too much but as for Blake, they’re a closeted transfem and also too much of a disaster for a coherent sexuality but probably bi. Autistic, and an abuse survivor who experiences paranoid delusions and self-destructive tendencies. Probably more, but specifics are messy, they’re a fucking mess, what’s going on with them, they don’t even know.

Masumi is a binary trans lesbian, also an abuse survivor and manages quite a bit of paranoia of her own, dealing with mood swings and occasional delusions of grandeur, most of it she keeps internally managed which isn’t great for her mental health.

💎: Are there any fun facts or trivia that you would like to share?

Blake’s original characterization was thought up prior to the campaign and was very different from their finished characterization. They lived on a farm with their parents and were pretty quiet and passive before being arrested for a murder they didn’t commit (this part is the same) and their personality was way more quiet, reserved and passive, with the whole celebrity aspect completely absent. They were still going to be the sort of clever leader type character but leaned far more into the background. Their design was also different, with their hair in a low ponytail rather than high and scars on their face from scrapes and accidents working on the farm.

I realized that, even though this character was more of an original idea than Masumi (who I was playing in another campaign at the time and who was characterized somewhat differently as well) I didn’t find myself excited to write them, couldn’t get invested in them in the same way, and as I kept workshopping them I decided to be more self-indulgent and lean more into shamelessly making them an Akechi expy in more ways.

And what resulted from that, ironically, is what I feel is a better character in the end. Blake feels more dynamic, lively and interesting now than the old iteration I first thought up, back when I was intent on making them My Own Creation with their own arc. At this point I’m comfortable saying that Blake, for all their similarities to Akechi, has evolved over the course of the campaign into a more interesting character, into someone I recognize as distinctly different and who stands out. They feel unique to me, and feel like my own character. And I think that only could’ve happened through playing them in a TTRPG like this, in developing them along with others, and having to adapt, and I think that’s the beautiful thing about developing characters with other people. The Blake I’ve ended up with is one I’m really happy with, who I feel is more interesting and dynamic to me than if I had just tried to force something unique just to not feel cringe about making an expy. And maybe I need to learn that lesson before I go through the same thing with Zee fjdkfnf.

[malunedyne]

*crack nuckles* de la 1 a la 100

oh noez (thank u)

1. What is you middle name? I only have one ;)

2. How old are you? I still can write 22

3. When is your birthday? this Friday!

4. What is your zodiac sign? Aquarius

5. What is your favorite color? Purple

6. What's your lucky number? I’d like to think it’s 8

7. Do you have any pets? A cat, Güero :3

8. Where are you from? México

9. How tall are you? 1.58, or so

10. What shoe size are you? 24 1/2

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? like 9 or 10

12. What was your last dream about? Oh I dreamt of Persona 5 for some reason, I can’t wait to play it!!!

13. What talents do you have? Hmm….. I think I can imagine funny situations and make people laugh at it

14. Are you psychic in any way? yah, something called "self-fulfilling prophecy” lol

15. Favorite song? Right now I can’t stop listening to Last Surprise, from the P5 ost lol

16. Favorite movie? Megamind, I guess (I’m so basic lmao)

17. Who would be your ideal partner? Someone who’s willing to deal with all of my stupid memes, ideas, theories and lots of queer stuff

18. Do you want children? yeah, but not rn

19. Do you want a church wedding? why not?

20. Are you religious? more spiritual than religious, I think

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? Yes, two years ago from now

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? Hmm I don’t think so, yet hehe

23. Have you ever met any celebrities? unfortunately, nope

24. Baths or showers? Shower

25. What color socks are you wearing? Pink

26. Have you ever been famous? I don’t think so

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? idk, I’d just like to be read, that’s all

28. What type of music do you likeA long spectrum of music, except reggaeton, banda, bachata, trap….. esas weas feas que tengo que aguantar bc contexto

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? nope

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? usually one or two

31. What position do you usually sleep in? fetal position haha

32. How big is your house? big enough

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? eggs and milk; in these internship hell days, i have tea, or cereal or milk or a cereal bar haha i’m fucked up

34. Have you ever fired a gun? nope

35. Have you ever tried archery? i like it, but i haven’t

36. Favorite clean word? Rainbow, it sounds as cute as it is

37. Favorite swear word? I said ‘fuck’ and ‘shit’ a lot, but the one I sense very powerful is ‘motherfucker’….. en español la que más uso es ‘pinche’, ‘verga’, ‘chingada’….. la verdad es que sí uso muchas groserías usualmente jkdfksjfdkj

38. What's the longest you've ever gone without sleep? 22 hours or so dfkjsl

39. Do you have any scars? yeah, plenty

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? nah

41. Are you a good liar? depends, if i truly depend on lying

42. Are you a good judge of character? i think so

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? yaaah, i can imitate some certain voices and manners of other people

44. Do you have a strong accent? nah, it’s more of a acute tune

45. What is your favorite accent? british english and japanese are both  g r e a t

46. What is your personality type? INTP

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? 54 dollar leather jacket, to that expensive, i’d rather use my money for other stuff rather than clothes

48. Can you curl your tongue? yah

49. Are you an innie or an outie? innie

50. Left or right handed? left handed

51. Are you scared of spiders? i  a m,  i  c a n n o t  s t a n d  t h e m

52. Favorite food? pizza or pozole or ceviche or surimi

53. Favorite foreign food? I like the authentic udon

54. Are you a clean or messy person? messy, very messy

55. Most used phrased? “guess I’ll die”

56. Most used word? “no mames”, not a word, but it should be a whole lol

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?it depends, it can be from 15 minutes to 1 hour lol

58. Do you have much of an ego? it’s a fluid thing, sometimes i do, sometimes i don’t (it’s the depression, lol)

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? ehh suck

60. Do you talk to yourself? all the motherfucking time

61. Do you sing to yourself? i like when no one is home so i can sing, yeah

62. Are you a good singer? nope

63. Biggest Fear? the fear of being forgotten

64. Are you a gossip? yeah

65. Best dramatic movie you've seen? Grave of the Fireflies is most shocking one to me

66. Do you like long or short hair? why not both.jpg, i wanted to chop it so short to begin the year with short hair but my mom told me not to do that xD so i’m keeping it long

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? nah

68. Favorite school subject? everything that had to do with science, or arts, or literature

69. Extrovert or Introvert? introvert

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? nope

71. What makes you nervous? almost  e v e r y t h i n g

72. Are you scared of the dark? depending on where i am

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? if i have a close relationship, yea

74. Are you ticklish? yep

75. Have you ever started a rumor? haha plenty of times

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? being the therapist could count as being authority?

77. Have you ever drank underage? yes, but low tier drinks tbh

78. Have you ever done drugs? nope

79. Who was your first real crush? real crush haha why must you shame me? a guy in the elementary school: silent, tall, glasses and unreachable to me….. i have still that type tho

80. How many piercings do you have? cero

81. Can you roll your Rs?can i what?

82. How fast can you type? GOTTA GO FAST

83. How fast can you run? GOTTA GO FAST (x2)

84. What color is your hair? dark brown

85. What color is your eyes? dark brown as well

86. What are you allergic to? cold weather (my nose and eyes won’t stop tearing, ugh)

87. Do you keep a journal? i try to, when there’s something worth writing

88. What do your parents do? housewife and teacher

89. Do you like your age? i’m starting to want it to stop increasing in number

90. What makes you angry? a lot of things: war, poverty, impotence…. having to wait 5 years for a new zelda game

91. Do you like your own name? yeah, i can vary it in lots of ways

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?yeah, if it’s a boy, Dhani; if it’s a girl, I like Lucina and/or Olivia

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? i think anything is fine tbh

94. What are you strengths? I have strong wills of healing

95. What are your weaknesses? i procrastinate  e v e r y t h i n g

96. How did you get your name? my dad is a big fan of the moon and its symbolism and poetry and you know that stuff

97. Were your ancestors royalty? dunno, but i know my great grand father was chinese

98. Do you have any scars? yep

99. Color of your bedspread? el legendario cobertor de tigre blanco

100. Color of your room?ironically both my rooms are white, lol