#OH GOD 8M SO FUCKING SORRY !!!!!!!

[pesterloglog]

Vrissy Maryam-Lalonde, Harry Anderson Egbert, Rose Lalonde, John Egbert

Candy, page 34

VRISKA: Hey, Harry Anderson, guess where I am!

HARRY ANDERSON: what???

HARRY ANDERSON: who is this? i can’t hear you!

VRISKA: It’s ME, idiot! The HOT 8A8E you’re lucky enough to h8ve gotten to second 8ase with!

HARRY ANDERSON: oh hi vriska!

HARRY ANDERSON: what’s up?

VRISKA: I Implored You To GUESS WHERE I 8M!

HARRY ANDERSON: uh. hmm. based on the horrible racket in the background, i’m gonna guess... the battle outside the city?

VRISKA: Ha HA! I TOLD you my moms were going to Hook Me The Fuck Up with a sweet milit8ry commission!

VRISKA: I’m officially in the rebellion, Sucker!!!!!!!

HARRY ANDERSON: ugh. i’m watching the battle out my window right now. are you SURE it’s safe for you to be out there, vriska?

HARRY ANDERSON: i’d kind of hate it if you died before we got to third base.

VRISKA: Pfft, yeah, wh8tever. I’m basically Immortal, bitch.

VRISKA: I’m gonna 8reeze through here like a High Money Roller getting sweepstakes at the 8lackj8ck table!

HARRY ANDERSON: you should probably actually gamble once in your life before you try to make gambling metaphors, babe. because that was dire.

VRISKA: Uh, excuse you, but Tavros tot8lly snuck me into Uncle Jake’s poker game last month. It was Immoderately LIT.

HARRY ANDERSON: wait. are you still hate dating tavros?

VRISKA: Uhhhhhhhh... yeah? Why wouldn’t I be??

HARRY ANDERSON: aw man. he’s so pathetic.

VRISKA: Yeah, that’s The Point, Harry Anderson.

HARRY ANDERSON: how do you stand kissing him? he’s so weird. and always mysteriously sticky for some reason.

HARRY ANDERSON: PLEASE tell me you haven’t gone to third base with him.

VRISKA: A girl Does Not kiss and tell, Harry de8rest. ::::)

HARRY ANDERSON: okay well as long as you don’t touch me after feeling up his weird, clammy body.

VRISKA: I’m not going to get a chance to feel either of you up for A While, considering I’m now an Important 8aller in Karkat and Meenah’s 8adass Revolutionary Army.

VRISKA: Oh, I asked if they could squeeze you in. They s8id they were JUST out of openings.

VRISKA: Sorry Dude! Lol.

HARRY ANDERSON: did you just call me to brag?

HARRY ANDERSON: what else is going on out there?

VRISKA: Ugh, who knows.

VRISKA: Oh. your DAD is here.

HARRY ANDERSON: what?!

HARRY ANDERSON: i thought he didn’t want anything to do with the war?

VRISKA: Yeah, well, he S8YS that, but he’s here right now and my mom’s saying a bunch of G8y Shit to him.

VRISKA: They’re hugging and Reminiscing a8out how Old And Sad they are or wh8tever.

HARRY ANDERSON: huh...

VRISKA: What?

HARRY ANDERSON: i really thought that my father might come see me for my birthday this year.

VRISKA: Welp!

VRISKA: Them’s The Br8ks, Kid.

HARRY ANDERSON: man.

HARRY ANDERSON: you can be such a shitty girlfriend sometimes.

VRISKA: May8e I’m inspired to be a Less Than Ideal M8tesprit when I’m in the presence of WEAKNESS? Ever consider that??

HARRY ANDERSON: unbelievable.

VRISKA: Hey I’m just fucking with you! Don’t 8e such a 8a8y a8out it. It’s a tot8l turnoff.

VRISKA: I’m sure your d8d cares a8out you very much. Maybe chill out?

HARRY ANDERSON: yeah whatever.

HARRY ANDERSON: he’s always getting all weepy whenever i talk to him anyway.

HARRY ANDERSON: i don’t think i could have taken another round of him choking back tears while apologizing to me about “what happened with me and your mother, harry.”

HARRY ANDERSON: i mean, god. he’s not even fucking DRUNK when he does this.

HARRY ANDERSON: that might actually be the most embarrassing part.

VRISKA: Yeah, lmao.

VRISKA: Now th8t you mention it, I think he’s actually crying right now?

VRISKA: I think I can overhear...

VRISKA: W8it.

VRISKA: I think I hear...

VRISKA: GAMZEE??

HARRY ANDERSON: gamzee? my auntie jane’s gamzee?

VRISKA: Yes! Who ELSE could I mean?

VRISKA: He’s around here somewhere.

HARRY ANDERSON: so what? i see him every day. he sucks.

VRISKA: So WH8T?! He’s like, Jane’s left hand man!

HARRY ANDERSON: no, he’s “neutral,” remember?

VRISKA: That’s not how Comm8nder Vantas feels.

VRISKA: He says he’s a total 8astard. A Tr8itor To His Kind.

HARRY ANDERSON: yawn.

VRISKA: There’s a bounty out for his arrest! D8mn, they’ll probably put him in front of a tribunal if we can get our hands on him!

HARRY ANDERSON: oh, i changed my mind. this sounds good actually.

HARRY ANDERSON: invite me to the execution, please?

VRISKA: If I could c8pture the High Fucking Priest Makara they’d promote me to, like, third in command of the whole joint!!!!!!!!

VRISKA: Fuck YE8H!

HARRY ANDERSON: well.

HARRY ANDERSON: good luck with all that.

HARRY ANDERSON: call me if you wanna hook up after the battle.

VRISKA: N8turally!

ROSE: There’s that noise again.

ROSE: I knew I wasn’t imagining it.

JOHN: oh no.

JOHN: no, no, no...

JOHN: VRISKA, WAIT, DON’T!!!!!

JOHN: oh god.

[boypussydilf]

I'm going to throw you a curve ball and say Sherly and that one guy whose name I don't remember who you ship him with (I think it's Soseki?)

idont know how to say this without unintentionally sounding mean but this is the second funniest ask ive ever gotten. (i was going to say funniest, but i cant lie even for comedic purposes- the funniest ask ive ever gotten was “shouldve KNOWN an AKESHU shipper would RIP MY THROAT OUT IN PUBLIC for mentioning shusumi”) i got curious and looked at all the relationship tags for dgs on ao3 until the site wouldnt let me anymore and i can almost conclusively say tht no one on this earth ships sherlock and souseki, which, to be honest, is kind of a surprise. on my journey i learned just how dire the state of the dgs ao3 relationship tags really are. i hadnt looked that hard, and i had thought, “oh, woe is me, only about 200 of these are homumiko” There are less than 30 with the susahao tag. theres like, a Small Handful of fics with kazuma interacting w iris or yuujin. This is. This is awful. Someone needs to fix this. What’s wrong with you people? You could have filled this website with one hundred Kazuma Asougi Gets Forcibly Absorbed Into The Greatest Family fics and you’re still asobaroing away? Unbelievable. Unbelievable.

Anyway it’s completely understandable to mix up souseki and mikotoba when you havent seen a ton of them they do both . have mustaches. thank you for thr ask and also for always calling him Sherly bc its cute here we go

describe their canon relationship/dynamic

*putsmy head in my hands* they have like 2 hours of screentime interacting its hard to describe a dynamic beyond “God they are so mean to each other”. its ok though. Its ok. the concept is very clear honestly. World’s Most Hyperactive and Completely Insane Man & Completely Normal Guy Who Goes Along With It. Oh My God They Were Roommates. lets see. serious notes. they trust each other completely and implicitly (mikotoba has to find a good home for The Baby He Was GOING To Raise But CAN’T and asks sherlock and he IMMEDIATELY agrees On The Spot my god ……) look . what do u call devotion if not saying “our home” about a place youve been away from longer than u ever lived at and thought youd never even see again & acting like you were never separated in the first place. Unreal. unreal.

anyway the fact of the matter is theyre literally just another variation on the Holmes & Watson concept go read an acd sherlock holmes story and imagine if they were ace attorney characters and idk i think youd more or less have it

your ideal/headcanon version of it? how does it differ from how it is in canon & why is this your favorite version? any other alternate versions of it you enjoy?

*pulls out my giant conspiracy board and 90% of it is just screenshots of fanfic The Legendary Pair by Meowzy on AO3* IF YOU LOOK AT IT. THE NOT-REALLY-INDICATED-BY-CANON BUT MORE FUN AND COOL TO ME VERSION OF IT. it makes this A Necessary Relationship. sherlock is. smart in Some places. definitely observant. But has. 0 common sense. you would think hes never been to this planet before with his apparent complete lack of frame of reference for what is or is not plausible or likely. there is too much shit going on in his brain for him to figure out which ideas are Actually Likely without taking like 2 days to work it out. Give him someone who actually has common sense and can crossreference What Sherlock Has Actually Noticed And Figured Out with What Actual Human Beings Generally Would Do.

OHGOD MAYBE I CAN TRY TO ELABORATE IN A MORE SERIOUS TONE ON MY FUCKING “YUUJIN MIKOTOBA SILLY ARC” POST. GOD. what im attempting to drive at is thinking abt . the idea proposed of 16-years-ago sherlock being more of a prickly little bitch and, Much More Importantly, mikotoba going to britain to try and escape the Grief Of Losing His Wife & subsequent Depression That Made Him Unfit To Take Care Of His Baby . and then theyre . again, worlds most hyperactive and completely insane man, and, again, GUY WHO TAP DANCES DURINVG INVESTIGATIONS ?!!!!?!???????????

basically fuck you *gives you by chance a fundamentally life altering friendship right when you need it*

Anyway i dont think theyre that different in my head than in canon but its hard to say.

what do you like about their relationship, why is it interesting or enjoyable to you?

i like it because i think they are neat. i like it bc i love families and fuck dude they sure do have one. i like it bc i am a dgs sherlock holmes kinnie and this drives my behavior,

what about the individual characters involved? what does this relationship mean to them, what makes it unique among their relationships?

*SCREAMS* BESTIES. anyway,

sorry for once again saying serious concepts in the dumbest fucking ways possible but Pov u are yuujin mikotoba age 26 leaving ur home to try and run away from the deepest pain of ur life & deciding not to stick with ur very close friends uve known for quite a while as you do so? For some reason? AND IT WORKS ???????????? in some part bc of this weirdo freak u moved in with impulsively who keeps almost blowing the fucking house up?

This is basically something i already said in this post earlier and i STILL . cant think of an actual good way to say it. I guess just . as many people on this blog may have noticed. me wh. me when stories involve the way positive connections with others help people <3

Also basically the only 2 reactions sherlock seems to invoke in people are “this guys insufferable” and “this guys insufferable but i also admire him” - god the trajectory of this train of thought just changed drastically im laughing so hard Bear with me . mikotoba is of course in th second camp bc thats where all sherlocks Positive relationships are. this is known to us. see: thr dialogue where hes like “Well your methods are unusual but ive always been willing to try them :)” (and then sherlock yells at him for being stupid.) anyway thats wonderful and its also Wonderful. mikotoba shortly after meeting sherlock watching this man rip up a handful of grass an d just eat it and then solve an entire mystery and mikotoba has to work out if this guys a genius or insane. He quickly realizes it is both. Anyway i guess to yuujin mikotoba sherlock holmes is his dear friend and partner & also the guy who cursed him to occasionally think “i DO wonder what that grass tastes like” at inopportune times

I don’t know WHAT the fuck i just rambled about for like ten minutes. So anyhow. sherlock describes mikotoba as “the only person i could truly call a friend” so shoutout to this friendless man i guess . no but literally hes a little weirdo freak and people dont tend to. like him. societal perceptions of ND people are not conducive to sherlock holmes having close friends . (Also he might not be. or might at some point not have been. particularly social in the first place - But this is my extrapolation based on acd canon and nothing in dgs at all so it cant be counted as anything other than my female hysteria.) and like. epic win for him finding someone who can Tolerate Him Enough To Live With Him and not just that but like . Actually Likes Him. Actually Likes Being Around Him And Would Like To Be His Friend. Congrats! also a win 4 him having like, a normal human being around. who can keep track of him and yknow. Help him remember important things. make sure he actually sleeps and eats instead of spending 42 hours straight trying to make The Sequel To Toasters (It’s Also A Juicer!)

favorite interaction they have in canon

oh,my god you know the thing is theres not a Lot of them but what there is is Really Good Actually.

on one hand we have the shit from the legendary pair scene like “:/ only JAPANESE mice go Chu. make a RUSSIAN mouse noise” or “YOUR BIRTHDAY? THATS FUNNY BC AS OF TODAY YOURE DEAD TO ME :D” “measured as always.” On the other hand we have the part from the scene after the last trial where sherlock thanks mikotoba for leaving iris in his care.

Basically i dont know how to decide. im going to say the Other part of the scene after the last trial where sherlock is excitedly telling mikotoba a story about something he did. With mikotoba. like a day before. and mikotoba lets him get through thr whole fucking thing before going Yeah i was. i was there.

favorite interaction they have in your head/a situation you want to put them in

OH GOD I DONT KNOW ACTUALLY. what is there to say beyond the Default List Of Every Homumiko Fans Shared Interests. its all been done. “Remember That Time They Raised A Baby Together For A Month”; “Have You Heard Of Arthur Conan Doyle’s Adventures of Sherlock Holmes? Great Here’s My Adaptation-“; “Put That Beast (Sherlock) In Japan LOL”. i will say that like. i dont remember where but theres some tiny bit of optional dialogue where iris says that sherlock playing the violin was a detail she wrote into the stories for fun and then after that he felt obligated to actually learn. i think a lot of people dont know this or dont use this. which is fine its a tiny random one off line i wouldnt even be able to track down. and a lot of people have the order of events go sherlock has violin -> mikotoba learns to tap dance, Look another musical thing matchy matchy :) . which again is FINE. BUT. isnt the other order of events - the order that it’s only reasonable to assume is canon - more fun ? Sherlock goes HEY GUESS WHAT I LEARNED VIOLIN NOW WE CAN MAKE MUSIC TOGETHER. He has not seen mikotoba in person in 9 years

thats the end of the post thank you i like the dads

[volker4311]

I'm sleeping with your shirt on a pillow

Oh my god. If I ever made you feel anything like this or worse. I felt so, so so so small. I just thought you were at the party and my brain freaked out. I saw you doing anything and everything. I saw you kissing, making out, grinding, holding hands, having every kind of sex, everything. I feel like my insides are imploding. My face hurts. I was curled up in a ball pulling my skin. In wanted to die. I'm so sorry if I ever did this you. I fucking deserve it though! I know I do because I was such a monster to you.

Oh my god I'm begging you now. I'm a sad person. I realize this now.

I was such a bad person. I feel like 8m going to throw up. Wtf did I do to you ally. What did I put you through. So many times. I'm shaking. I'm remember everything. I see your face every time. I'm a monster and said I loved you.

I'm such a monster. I'm pathetic. I'm such a coward and a loser. And this is my fault, all my fault. Because I wouldn't put in effort. I didn't fucking try. Oh my god how many times did do this?!

And I'm telling you yo have fun. Because I've done so many bad things. Wtf is wrong with me.

I'm still freaking out. To every thing. I see you doing things. part of me says you're not, she's going to tell you first, but everything you did. You deserve her doing this to you. She's hurting you on your way. She's happy doing everything you wanted to do. And she's happily asking. You hurt her in her way.

Now feel it in yours.

And if she reads this. she'll cry, be hurt by this, probably hate you. Because YOU'RE JUST NOW FEELING THIS!

The worst part.

I know I deserve too.