#OH EVERYONE WISH AOIFE GOOD LUCK FOR WEDNESDAY

[jaisontodd]

who in the batfam eats spicy food, in honor of aoife maybe eating spicy food again soon

- damian is The Strongest. let's just start off with that

- i mean the boy grew up in the ~unidentified generic middle east (thanks dc)~ do you think they're out here eating bland-ass food? no

- also, damian's personality, do you think he took "this is too spicy" as anything less than a personal challenge? even when he was a kid? of course not. he'll show them. he might be 5 but he'll show everyoNE OH SHIT WHERES THE BREAD

- damian now, in gotham, pouring hot sauce on his eggs: pennyworth we're out of tabasco again

- tim is The Weakest and damian is Thriving

- damian thinks it's hilarious to make tim's food Spicy AF, tim does not agree with this at all

- "timmy you're... japanese........" "yes dick i AM japanese. i know i disappoint my ancestors every goddamn day. someone pass me the milk."

- side note: tim is lactose intolerant but completely ignores it. he takes lactaid only occasionally. braver than any us marine

- jason thinks he's hot shit because he grew up eating latinx food but he's still weaker than damian

- dick didn't really eat spicy food for the first few years he was with bruce? so his tolerance dropped a little. but then jason came along (with his bottle of generic grocery store hot sauce) so dick's gotten better about it. he's like. high tolerance for americans but normal to low tolerance for, you know, almost everywhere else

- steph grew up eating ethopian food, buddy this is nothing, i literally lick this off my fingers every day, you are Weak timothy

- steph and jason are about even on spice tolerance and they both eat a lot of it to assert their dominance over bruce/tim

- cass's spice tolerance: the upper limits are unknown. a mystery. some things are meant to be undiscovered

- she's comfortable with a little less than dick is comfortable with but no one knows how high it goes!!

- steph and jason believe that her tolerance is less than theirs but they cannot confirm or deny

- tim thinks her tolerance isn't that high but he can't even eat a habañero, why does he think he gets a vote here

- the truth? cass doesn't know what her tolerance is, she's way too amused by her POV Outsider to her siblings' arguments about spiciness. she doesn't want to get involved

- bruce is Less Weak than tim but not by much

- i mean come on alfred is great but do you think he made a lot of spicy food when bruce was a kid? No

- one time bruce tried damian's food (after damian had drowned it with hot sauce) and he cried. the batman literally cried

- dick keeps trying to sneak more spice into bruce's food because "crying is a healthy and natural emotional release, bruce"

- duke thinks he's average with spice tolerance, he doesn't really like spiciness that much but he's ok with it. his tolerance is a little lower than dick's. not much to say here. he's just trying to stay out of the Tim-Damian Spice Wars

- babs has a sensitive stomach so she doesn't eat spicy food anymore, oh well, it happens

- damian when he finds out: :0

- babs @ damian: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

- alfred could probably eat a ghost pepper and be chill about it

- "ohhhh jason i think you mean CHILI about it" "i really didn't, dickface. i really didn't."

- the overall ranking from Weakest to Strongest: tim, babs, bruce, duke, dick, steph & jason, damian

- cass and alfred are Unknown

- the gap between dick and steph & jason is. large. because steph & jason have Something To Prove, dick

- steph, staring tim down from across the table as she shovels thai curry into her mouth without rice: what's the matter tim? can't take the heat?

- tim, in tears: steph im begging you

- bruce: jason don't you think that's a little too much-

- jason, immediately dumping half a bottle of melinda's on his fajitas: shut the fuck up bruce you don't even give a shit do you

- jason finishes the fajitas but he has. regrets.