#OFFSIDE??? no one talk to me for 5-8 business days

[janetsnakehole02]

didn’t even watch the match, only kept up w the live commentary and sTILL-

[daddychims]

Offside Pt 13

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13 

Series Masterlist!

Genre: Smut, Soccer AU, College AU

Pairings: Soccer Player! Jungkook X Sports Trainer! Reader

Word Count: 2k

Other BTS members all make a cameo as well because I’m an OT7 Trash!

You work as a sports trainer, providing basic first aid and injury management for the Hanguk University’s soccer team. Going with your mundane life of caring for the dozen of guys hurting themselves in the soccer game takes a turn when one of the guys catches your eyes. It’s not his breathtakingly good looks or his muscular athletic body usually seducing girls at the campus that catches your eyes. But the action plan in your kit, indicating he is diagnosed with Asthma is what draws your eyes time and time again to the Golden Boy of Hanguk University.

Warning: Slow burn, eventual smut, Taehyung being a freaking tease the whole time, Also Jimin not letting the female MC live for one day, Fuckboy!Jungkook, Asthmatic! Jungkook , mentions of episodes of Asthma, Take your Ventolin kids, Take your medications kids!

“Look Jeon, I’m saying this as your Hyung and your senior, you need to learn to save your energy if you wanna play for long,”

You lift one of the boxes of tapes and reach for the cabinet shelf at the top to settle the heavy box there as you listen to the captain’s calm but intimidating voice

“I’m grateful you’re giving it your all, but as the captain I can’t watch you exert yourself to the half time and tap out the second half on my watch.”

You bite the corner of your lips, heart beating rapidly at the warning behind the words that leaves Hoseok’s voice. The captain is often calm and collected, but he doesn’t hesitate to scold his teammates as their leader.

“I had a chat with Seokjin Hyung after our meeting last week,” Hoseok continues with a hesitant tone “In the past two years I’ve never allowed any special considerations for you just because of you condition- “

“Hyung, just do as you always do,” Jungkook finally speaks up “I’m fine, Seokjin Hyung is just blowing it out of proportion.”

“If he didn’t, I would have brought it,” Hoseok interjects the younger’s argument “I’ve been watching you play since day one, I can tell when you’re tired or when you’re in a slump because of your condition. And this is definitely more than just a pre-seasonal fatigue …”

A long silence follows the captain’s words and you wish you would have left the changing room earlier tonight so you wouldn’t have to now eavesdrop on yet another conversation on Jeon's asthma that somehow worries you more than your own final exams and undone assignments.

“You need to learn to pace yourself through the game,” Hoseok suggests “Let’s talk about this before the next game, we’ll have to talk to a couple of midfielder guys to back you up. You’re our striker wild card, you get what I mean right?”

“Yes captain,” Jungkook finally speaks up “I’ll talk to the guys and we’ll figure it out.”

“Alright, go home and get some rest.” Hoseok pats the younger’s shoulder before heading out of the changing room

You quickly turn around and keep yourself busy to make it less obvious that you were listening to every single word across the wall.

“Thank you for tonight Y/N.” Hoseok calls for you and you turn to face him

“Anytime captain,” you salute the guy “How’s your ankle?”

“Pretty good,” he nods as he twirls his shin around “I can do with a bit of tape on the next game.”

“You know where to find me, Cap!” You nod reassuringly

“Thank, Oh and …” he smiles “I was meant to buy you a dinner for a while now. I still owe you for Jiwoo's party.”

“Lets keep that after the finals,” you offer “You can buy me dinner to celebrate Hanguk’s win as well!”

“Of course,” he laughs, his face lighting up at the prospects of his team winning “I should probably tell Namjoon we’ve got you on our side then.”

Your smile immediately fade and you furrow your eyebrows “Don’t you dare-“

“I’m just joking,” he laughs watching your reaction “your secret is safe with me” he turns around and opens the door as he waves “Goodnight.”

You chuckle at the guy’s childish remark, before getting back to the boxes that are waiting in the corner of the room for you to finish up. You grab another heavy box and groan as you reach at the top cupboard to place it in when someone hovers over your body and grabs the box and easily places them where you were intending to place them.

“So, you’re on our side huh?”

Your suspicion turns certain as you hear the guy’s familiar voice and you turn around, gulping as you realise the guy’s body is pressed against yours

“I didn’t say that,” you quickly interject “I’m with anyone who shoots the winning goal. And if that’s SNU then I’m siding with them.”

“Mhmm, So you wanna tell me you’ll be siding with Park Jimin,” He scoffs, as his tongue pokes to the corner of his cheek, “I doubt you’d prefer SNU’s 3 inch shooting his shots?”

“Jeon-“ you immediately speak up to interrupt his lewd words when he presses his index on your lips

“Once you get a taste of Hanguk's big boy shots, you’ll change your mind …” he hesitates as a playful smirk tingles on the corner of his lips “I don’t know if you’ve heard but we know how to play with big balls here." 

“Of course, you do!” you roll your eyes mockingly

“Do you want me to show you?” He raises an eyebrow, taking on the challenge “The ball is on the table, babe” he chuckles, playfully placing an intonation on the words “you just gotta decide to play.”

“Jeon, I’m on duty!” you sigh pointing your eyebrows at the boxes across the room "I dont have time to play with balls!" 

“Fine!” His face immediately drops and he loosens his body’s cage around you to allow you to move away with an annoyed expression but you don’t stay back to watch as you quickly walk to the rest of boxes. 

“Shouldn’t you be home already?” you look back at him as you lift another box “why are you still here?”

“I’m sure you heard Hoseok hyung scolding me,” Jungkook sighs as he rest his weight on the shelf and grabs the box as you stop before him to place them on the top “Why do you act like you didn’t eavesdrop on us?”

“I d-didn’t,” you stutter as you quickly turn around to grab another box “I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

“Of course, you did,” He chuckles watching you struggles with the box in your hand “Aren’t you always waist deep in my business?”

“Fine,” you pout as you hand him the box, “I heard the conversation, but its not because I wanted to,” you sigh “Captain’s voice is now chronically loud after screaming at you guys on the field.”

“That …” he suddenly burst out laughing and you unconsciously smile along “is true, I can’t really fault you on that.”

You watch the guy’s genuine smile, spreading from his lips all the way to his cheek and then his deer-like eyes. You realize it’s the first time you see this smile adorning his lips, different to his usual cocky smirk he loves to throw your way. 

“So are you just gonna stand there and watch me?” His lips curve on one side as he stands with his arms crossed

“What do you mean?” you ask in confusion

“I’m waiting for your two cents on my life,” He says in a mocking tone "dont be shy, Y/N!" 

“I’m not that nosy okay?” You complain as you turn around, only then realising his sarcasm 

“Oh you’re not?” He chuckles in amusement “You have more opinion on my life than my parents.”

“That is not true-” you respond defensively but immediately stop mid-sentence seeing his unimpressed expression “Fine, maybe I’ve been a bit nosy in the past. But I’m a changed woman now …” you say in a determined tone “I’m not doing that anymore.”

“Not doing what?” he steps forward, filling the space between the two of you “Hmm?”

“sticking myself into your life.” you respond nervously looking into his eyes

“That’s unfortunate,” he squints looking into your eyes “Because I decided to stick myself into yours …” he smirks “or shall I say into YOU?”

“Jeon-“ you warn and he immediately throw his hands up in surrender

“Fine, no more messing around!” he declares as he points at the boxes at top shelf “you’re done here right? Lets go!”

 “Where?” you stop him and ask with a confused tone

“My place,” he furrows his eyebrows “You don’t wanna check my meds?” He asks suspiciously “If not then-“ his face immediately lights up in a teasing way

“No,” you immediately interrupt “lets go.” You say as you quickly grab your bag and walk ahead of him, hearing him chuckle behind you

-

You stare at the guy who walks to his mini fridge across the room and grabs a bottle of beer and waves it to you “Want some?”

“I’m good,” you quickly shake your head, knowing the last thing you’d want is being drunk in the guy’s room

“Alright!” he shrugs as he snaps the beer open and takes a sip, capturing your attention to his adam’s apple that wiggles between the toned muscles of his neck

Your eyes immediately drift around the room nervously trying to unsee the unintentionally lewd scene as you mutter “Where are your meds?”

“In the first draw,” he points at his nightstand beside his bed and you nod before reaching and opening the first dra

“OH,” you gasp, as you stare at the shiny packets of condom for a few seconds before looking up and making a momentary eye contact with him

“Like what you see?” He smirks watching you get all flustered 

“You mean another reminder of your Golden reputation?” you mock as you scan through the shiny packets for his medication “can’t get enough!”

“you know now that you’re here …” he leans closer, his warm breath hitting your neck “We can put these and my golden reputation to some good use tonight!” he suggest wiggling his eyebrows 

“Your medication,” you scold patting his shoulder “Can you put yourself to some use and find them?”

“Of course!” he nods with a chuckle as he fishes through the drawer and finally finds the ziplock bag

You sigh as you grab the ziplock bag and take out the device to check them as the guy climbs his bed and plops himself beside you on the soft mattress.

“Wow, you really haven’t even opened these!”

“Was waiting for you to pop the pandora’s box open for me,” he laughs as he raises an eyebrow “and maybe I can pop your pandora’s box open after!”

“In your dreams,” you flash a fake smile before taking out one of the devices “Have you used a DPI before?”

“if by DPI you mean dick pic invitations, of course!” he beams with a naughty smile “I always use DPIs to set the mood.”

“Dry Powdered Inhaler,” you pronounce each loud and clear for the guy “It’s the same medications but instead its in powder form.” You explain as you watch the guy in front of you yawn

“In other words It’s the same shit as the other one and I need to take it,” he nods “lets get this over and done with, I’m tired-“

“No,” you quickly wiggle the device away and hide it behind you “you need to know the difference so you can use it properly. Since this is powder you should take it differently.”

“Its not that deep, Y/N,” Jungkook deadpans “I chug it up my lungs and we can finally on more important stuff,” he pauses before smiling "like your pandora's box!" 

“ I’ll just explain it very simple and quick," you state with a stern tone "just listen to me once”

“You see listening hasn't always been my strong point!” He shrugs

“Jeon! Please just once!” you ask with a frustrated tone

“Mhm let me think,” his pupils twirl around before stopping on you “why don’t you try teaching me like you did earlier today,” he smirks as he shift himself up on the bed, back resting on the bedpost as he man spreads his thighs “Coming close does help me listen better.”

You furrow your eyebrows, eyes travelling from his face to his thighs “If you pull one of your stupid game-“

“Don’t worry,” he throws his hands up “I’ll just be a good student, full attention on you and will listen like a good boy.”

“fine,” you murmur as you shift closer and settle on the guy’s thighs “after you put the inhaler on your lips, you see this button here,” you show him, without looking up “You need to press this so you can prime the device,”

“Uh huh,” he murmurs as he leans closer on your face trying to get a good view of the device “I press the button and then …” he says as his hand wraps around your waist, resting just above your hip

“A-And then you press again to release the powder,” you explain, trying to keep your composure as you feel his hands softly massaging the side of your waist  “Since this is powder, you should take a fast deep breath in,” and you gasp as his hand wiggles under your shirt almost In unison with your instruction

“Uh huh …” he nods with a smirk, fully aware of the effect his sinful hands make on you “I take a fast breath in and?”

“then you need to hold your breath for 10 seconds,” you release the breath your holding, almost sighing as his cold hand soothes your skin “to allow the powder to settle in your lungs.”

“Mhmm,” he nods, continuing to touch you under your shirt as he murmurs “I think I got it,” he smirks as he leans closer to you, and you finally break your eyes from the device and look into his eyes “So I press the button,” he says and as the words leaves his lips his hands travel under the waistband of your pants, aiming for your core “to prime the device,” you gulp as his hand rest on your hip bone, dangerously close to your crotch “Then I press the button again,” he smirks as he reaches further down, thumb touching your clit and a small moan leaves your lips “and take a fast breath in right?”

He waits for your response with a pause as he continues to rub against your clit, slender fingers now reaching lower to spread your wetness around “then I just hold my breath for 10 seconds,” he suggests, watching you perform the exact instructions as you hold your breath under his touch “Right?”

“J-Jungkook …”

“Ssshhh,” he hushes your voice as he presses his forehead against yours “See how wet you are for me,” he smiles in satisfaction as he rubs your juices on your core "You want this as much as I do babe!" 

“F-Fuck,” you gasp as he pushes a finger in your folds and your body tenses on his lap “Jungkook please …” you whine as you press your forehead against his collarbone

 “Tell me what you want, babe” he instructs in a gentle tone “Remember, you just need to tell me!”

“Jungkook,” you gasp as your part your hooded lids, distancing your face from his shoulder and looking at his face, a playful smile dancing on his lips as he stares back at you with his darkened gaze, waiting for your response.

It takes you exactly 5 seconds to register what he’s doing and you immediately jolt away from him, forgetting about your awaiting climax

“fuck!” you quickly distance your body, settling back on his bed staring at him in a state of panic

“Hey, relax!” he says in an authoritative tone

“we shouldn’t do this- “

“why?” He raises an eyebrow looking at you “You don’t like it?” he asks with confidence all over his expression as if he’s challenging you to say you don’t.

You look at him, parting your lips to say something but nothing comes out. You can’t possibly lie through your teeth and say you didn’t like him knuckles deep in your pussy so you just blush and look away to his response. 

“I-I’m sorry Jeon, let’s do the medication check another day,” you brave through the words as you quickly fix your shirt “I should probably go home-“

“No wait,” he immediately interjects, shifting on the bed to lock your body between himself and the mattress “Do you really wanna leave?” He asks, as he presses himself on your body, his hardened cock pressing against your thighs as he asks, “Even if I tell you I’m this hard just for you?”

“For m-me?” you ask, pupil dilating as you digest his words

“Can’t you see,” His eyes shine with lust as he tilts his head “That you’re the only medication I’d ever need?”

Your eyes widen as he leans closer and presses his lips on yours ... 

[katybeth23]

Worries for another day

So this was the first fanfic I started a while back….I wanted to finish it properly….so here it is. A sincere thank you to @the-real-tc for all your help & guidance :-)

“Worries for another day” is a JISA one-shot story based around the mid/end of season 9.

I hope you enjoy it xx

“WORRIES FOR ANOTHER DAY

The morning sun shone through the cracks in the heavy drapes, the clock read 6:05am. Time to get up Jack thought to himself as he slowly rolled over to Lisa’s side of the bed…..the empty space was cold and Jack was counting down the hours until she would be home. It had been close to 8 weeks since Lisa had left for France, she had postponed her previous trip due to Lou having to be in New York for a work conference & needing her to watch Katie, so this trip was like two rolled into one which meant almost 2 months away from home. This was by far the longest period of time she & Jack had been apart since they had been married almost 2 years earlier.

Jack heaved himself upright and sat on the edge of his bed and looked over to Lisa’s side, he felt an ache in his chest. ‘I always miss her when she goes away, but this time it was different’ he thought to himself. Perhaps it was the fact that she had been home at “Heartland” for almost 4 months without any time abroad? He smiled to himself, he loved having Lisa home all the time, living together some what like a traditional married couple…he chucked out loud… ( traditional was never a word used to describe their marriage). Lisa spent very little time these days staying at “Fairfield”, she had sort of found her place at the Heartland ranch & it made Jack feel at ease just having her there with him by his side, day in and day out…. These past 8 weeks had gone by reasonably quickly, there was always something to keep him busy, horses to work & chores to be done,but a part of Jack always longed for Lisa whilst she was away & this time was certainly no exception.

‘Grandpa! , Grandpa, are you awake’ Amy’s voice broke Jack from his deep thought…. ’ Sure am! I’ll be out in a minute’….

Amy was making a pot of coffee when Jack came out into the kitchen ‘Good morning, sorry I thought you must have been up already’ she said ‘That’s ok, I was awake, just a bit slower getting a move on these days’, he half smiled. Amy could sense that Jack wasn’t himself since Lisa had left for France & although it wasn’t her business, it worried her….

~ “I am fine Jack, I don’t know why you are making such a fuss….it’s really nothing at all, my doctor told me at my age this is perfectly normal….now just leave it!” ~

Amy had overheard Jack and Lisa having a disagreement just before Lisa left for France. It was normal for them on occasion to not see eye to eye, they both had strong personalities & Amy knew that one was equally as stubborn as the other. But over the past couple of years she had seen both of them somewhat mould together, working side by side, helping Lou with Georgie and Katie. It was their love for one another Amy thought, that held the family together. Lisa was not only Jacks wife, she was his offsider, his lover & his best friend. Amy had come to admire her, not only for the hard working, independent woman that she was, but more so for the woman that loved her grandfather like no other and who had in many ways had become the 'mother figure’ both she,and the others in the family had, on so many occasions come to rely on.

“ Lisa home today Grandpa?” Amy asked with a smile “ she sure is” Jack seemed to sigh with relief “Grandpa….what’s going on?…..why have you not spoken to Lisa so much in the past few weeks? I know you had 'words’ before she left for France Grandpa, but this is not like you two……what’s really going on?” Amy was hesitant to push Jack, but she was concerned…… “ I wish I knew Amy…..I really do…” Jack uttered as he stared out the kitchen window Confused Amy replied “ what do you mean”?

Jack had spent the past 8 weeks 'stewing’ over Lisa’s last words to him before she left….he behaviour the month leading up to her leaving for France had been “off” as she had put it, she was short tempered and had seemed seemed pre occupied with something that Jack just couldn’t put his finger on. It could have been a list of things ~ Lisa disliked travelling alone without Jack more than ever these days & spending any prolonged time with Dan pushed Lisa’s patience to the brink. She had been to see her doctor in the days before she left and assured Jack that everything was fine ( given her past history) and that she was just feeling the pressure to close some big business deals and catch up on work that she had fallen so far behind with….

“Oh Grandpa” Amy looked into Jacks eyes and tried to reassure him “You know how Lisa gets when Dan is giving her a hard time? And you know how much she hates leaving you, so just relax, I am sure she was just really worked up about going for such a long time & all the meetings and work she had to catch up on when she got there”…. Amy felt some relief having listened to what Jack had told her, she knew how Lisa felt about working with Dan & how frustrated he made her. She and Lisa had often discussed how difficult it was to be in business with your ex husband and how much Dan got under Lisa’s skin. Amy also knew that at Lisa’s age ( she had recently turned 51) women went through changes and she was probably reacting differently to things now than what she would have when she was younger. Amy hugged Jack, ’ I love you Grandpa’. 'I love you too honey’… 'I’ll see you & Lisa tonight….oh and don’t forget Lou is cooking a special welcome home dinner’ Amy grabbed her toast & hurried out the door.

Outside the snow had begun to melt and the warmth of the sun was almost to good to be true. Jack had made sure all the jobs for the day had been completed well and truely in time for him to pick up Lisa from the airport. Her flight was to arrive at 3pm. Lou & Georgie were making a special welcome home dinner & had gone into town early so they could get evertyhing ready. The whole family would be there to welcome Lisa home. All of them had missed her, in particular Katie & they were all looking forward to having her home. No one more so than Jack.

Amy’s phone rang, it was Lisa. “Hey Lisa how are you?” “Hi honey, I’m fine, how are you?”

Amy could sense something in Lisa’s voice that was telling her otherwise.

“Amy” Lisa paused…. “Amy, I am sorry to bother you but would you mind popping over to 'Fairfield’ for a moment”…. “Sure, but I didn’t think your flight arrived until this afternoon” Amy replied “Is there a horse you want me to look at?” “Not really Amy, I need to see you…..please” Lisa almost whispered “Ok sure” amy didn’t need to ask an questions, she knew simply by the tone in Lisa’s voice that something wasn’t right, it was unlike Lisa to sound this concerned on the phone and Amy began to feel uneasy…… “I’ll be right over” “Oh and Amy…..please don’t tell Jack” …..

Amy’s mind was racing & her heart was pounding. What did Lisa want to talk to her about and why did she not want Grandpa to know? Was she unwell? ( Amy knew that Lisa had a past history of ovarian cysts), but she had told Jack before she left that her dr’s report was all fine. Had something happened in France with Dan? Was Lisa hurt? A thousand thoughts ran through Amy’s mind as she drove the 20 min trip accross to 'Fairfield’. Amy couldn’t bare the thought of something happening to Lisa, she loved her, just as if she was her own mother…and she couldn’t bare the thought of Grandpa being left alone again. She saw how devastated Jack was when her grandmother died and how utterly heartbroken he was when Lisa & he broke up…. “Please”, she said almost out loud “Please let Lisa be ok”.

’ Beep Beep’ Jacks phone buzzed in its holster

“ flight has been delayed so won’t arrive until 5pm tonight. Can’t wait to see you. I love you. Lisa xxx ”

A small smile from underneath Jacks moustache came accross his face… 'I can’t wait to see you either Lise’….

Jack could see Lou about to head back into town, he waved her down. “Hey Lou, Lisa’s flight has been delayed so she won’t be in until 5 tonight, so no rush on dinner” “ oh that’s too bad” said Lou, “ although at least it’s only a couple of hours and not over night”.. She smiled at Jack “I know how much you have missed her Grandpa….we all have” “ yup, it sure will be nice to have her home & all the family together”….. “ ok, see ya later on”… “Oh and grandpa, if you see Amy could you tell her that I will grab the list of things she had on the note she left on her fridge” “ yup, will do, see ya” he waved to katie in the back seat as Lou headed out the drive.

Lisa was sitting at her desk trying desperately to keep herself busy until Amy arrived. She hated the thought of keeping things from Jack & the past 8 weeks away had been the most difficult ever in her life. It was a trip she really didn’t want to go on ~ she hated leaving Jack these days & more than ever Lisa felt like she just wanted to be close to him. Lisa always told Jack everything, he was her rock. She simply couldn’t bear to imagine life with out him and no matter what they were faced with Jack always seemed to know what to do…. It was this that made Lisa’s situation almost unbearable.

Amy’s heart was racing as she pulled the truck up at 'Fairfield’…. She walked up the pathway that led to the large front entrance, the garden looked beautiful she thought as she stopped short of the door & took a deep breath… “Hi honey” she heard Lisa’s voice come from the open window of her office which was off the right of the main house. “I’ll be right out” Lisa continued

It was such a relief when Lisa came out the French doors from her office & out into the courtyard, she looked amazing Amy thought to herself…..she can’t be unwell…

“Oh Amy it’s so good to see you” Lisa smiled as she walked towards her “Lisa it is SO good to see you….but what’s wrong?” Amy’s voice was shakey and Lisa could see the concern on Amy’s face.

Lisa stopped, she couldn’t control any of her emotions and she almost burst into tears… “Lisa! Lisa what is it, what’s wrong?” Amy started to move towards her, but Lisa took a step back “Just tell me Lisa, I can handle whatever it is that’s wrong….please Lisa, I don’t know what’s going on, but what I do know that I love you & I will support you, just like you have supported me whenever I have needed you”….Amy was trying so hard to stay strong but she feared that all she had been worrying about could in fact be true.

Lisa looked at Amy, the young women who from day one had held a special place in Lisa’s heart, a young woman with such spirit & independence like herself. A young woman who was so utterly protective of her grandfather & loved him so much, yet welcomed Lisa with open arms…..

Lisa reached out & grabbed Amy’s hand “Walk with me?” She said quietly…. As they set out onto the grass and accross the yard Lisa began…. She told Amy of how unwell she had felt the weeks before she left to go to France, how unbearable she had been to live with, how she felt like she had the flu and just couldn’t shake it. Lisa continued….she told Amy that she had been to see her specialist and had been given the all clear, her doctor had told her that at her age these hormonal changes were normal & to be expected. She had been given some vitamins to take and was informed that she probably had some sort of virus and needed to take it easy….. ~ Jack insisted that I wait until I felt better, but I just wanted to go so I could get all I needed done and then get home again…. Amy was beginning to become more & more confused, if Lisa was given the all clear, then what on earth was wrong with her….she kept listening as the two of them kept walking… “I got to France Amy”, Lisa continued I felt better after a few days, I felt less tired and thought whatever I had was at the tail end…. But then all of a sudden it got worse Amy, I became terribly unwell 2 weeks ago, I had been vomiting for 48 hours and……. “Lisa why didn’t you call? Grandpa would have been on the first flight over”…. “Oh Amy I wanted to, but I was so sick and by the time I got the results from the doctor……… Lisa looked away, Amy could see that she was trying desperately to hold back tears…. “So?” Lisa looked at Amy, then put her head down…..she placed her hands accross her stomach…. “I’m pregnant Amy” “Almost 16 weeks”….. “I really had no idea”….

Amy smiled, she placed her hand on Lisa’s shoulder….

“Oh my god Lisa! I was so worried, you had me thinking you were gravely ill or something! ~This is amazing news….I’m a little shocked to say the least, but it’s amazing, oh Lisa you had me so worried, I thought something was seriously wrong”….. Lisa smiled at Amy, she felt a sense of relief that she had been able to share this news, and that more importantly Amy had been so supportive…..but she was a 51 year old woman, whose husband was over 20 years her senior….

“Lisa, you must call Grandpa”… “But what will he say Amy? He is a Greatgrandfather for god sake”…..He is almost… Lisa started to feel herself getting worked up….she had be thinking and re thinking about how & when she would tell Jack about the pregnancy….she never imagined that it would be a conversation they would ever have….she had thought about having children with Jack but that was a long time ago, long before they had got married but even back then Lisa deemed it unrealistic. Jack had a daughter, he had two granddaughters & now great granddaughters…..how would he react to the news that at his age he was about to become a father again???….

“Lisa, grandpa loves you. He has been so worried about you the whole time you have been gone.” Amy touched Lisa’s arm…. “ I know that it will not be something he is expecting to hear and as you know in this family there will no doubt be some surprised faces and opinions, but Lisa we all know how much you love each other….how much grandpa loves you. Trust me…please. Just call him now”…

Amy handed Lisa her phone which was out on the table back in the courtyard where Lisa had left it hours ago after she called Amy. Lisa’s hands shook as she dialled Jacks number….

“Jack is on his way over now…..Amy will you wait with me until he arrives” Lisa almost pleaded. “Of course I will, but please Lisa try not to get yourself any more worked up than what you have been, Its not good for you or the baby”…Amy hugged Lisa tight…she could feel Lisa’s swollen belly under her large woolen jumper and it made her smile.

Amy knew this was such unexpected news and that Lisa must have so many scenarios running through her mind right now…..her age, the risks involved, the families reaction, not to mention the reaction of their friends and the community of Hudson… But Amy also knew just how much her grandpa loved Lisa, he loved this woman more than anything and although this would be news that NO ONE had have seen coming ….especially Jack himself, Amy knew for sure that he would be happy.

“Hey Lise, I thought your plane wasn’t arriving until 5 tonight” Jack was surprised when Lisa called to say she was at 'Fairfield’…. ~ As Jack got into his truck and headed over to see her, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of apprehension. He saw Amy’s truck as soon as he pulled into the 'Fairfield’ gates. “Amy? What are you doing here?” “Amy? Is everything alright” Jacks voice had become deep and he spoke with a concerned yet demanding tone…

“ Everything’s fine Grandpa, just fine” Amy couldn’t help but smile slightly “Then why are you here, and why is Lisa home early…..& what the hell is going on?”

Jack hated been left in the dark and it frightened him when he didn’t know what was going on….he really didn’t like surprises and the last few weeks had made this feeling even worse.

“Hi Jack” Lisa came from in the house out into the courtyard where he & Amy were standing… She had so desperately missed him and wanted to run up and throw herself into his arms, but under her over sized jumper she had started to show an if she threw herself at Jack he would be sure to feel her growing bump….She hesitated… “Oh Lise…look at you…I'v missed you so much” Jack stepped forward Lisa froze, she just looked at him standing there and she couldn’t hold them back, tears started to trickle down her cheeks…. “Lise? What’s wrong?” Jacks voice was almost a whisper “What are you keeping from me? ” he went on “I know there is something going on….but it’s ok, everything will be ok….Lisa if you are unwell just tell me. I’ll be here for you…just don’t keep it from me” now Jack was becoming desperate “Lise, just stop being stubborn & tell me, what’s going on!!!”….

Lisa stepped forward, she hated herself for what she had done to Jack, for leaving him for 8 weeks worrying about her, she had seen the concern in his face & the love in his eyes….Amy was right, no matter what happened Jack would always be there and it would be ok…. Lisa reached out & held jacks hands in hers, his rough, hard working calloused hands… “I’m pregnant Jack”….was all Lisa could manage to say She dropped her head and looked at her stomach, a small bump could be made out from under her jumper…. Lisa felt Jacks rough hand on her face, he placed his right hand on her chin & slowly lifted her face till there eyes met…. Jack couldn’t find the words to describe how he felt at that moment…. He placed his left hand accross Lisa stomach….one that was usually flat had swelled into a neat little bump….Jack leant forward and kissed her and almost immediately he felt a weight lift form Lisa’s shoulders as she relaxed into his embrace.

Amy had walked back to her truck, she watched her grandpa & Lisa until she knew that they were going to be fine…. As she drove home, Amy realised that nothing was ever going to be the same again at 'Heartland’, but more importantly she knew that they had all received a blessing that day, it would just be a little longer until she would be able to share this amazing news with everyone.

Jack & Lisa sat in the garden in the sunshine in silence, Jack hadn’t said much since Lisa had told him the news and she knew that it would take some time for it to sink in.

“Are you angry at me Jack? I’m sorry I didn’t call you when I was sick in France, I honestly didn’t think that in a million years I could be pregnant, infact it had never even crossed my mind….I didn’t think I could, I mean I thought I was at the other stage in a woman’s life”…Lisa barely took a breath, she felt like she had 8 weeks to catch up on….“I mean I’m 51 years old….maybe I’m too old? Maybe we are both too old Jack, what if I can’t do it? What will people say?”…..Lisa stopped, and looked down at her stomach again….“I’m sorry Jack, I should have been more”…… “Shhhhhh” Jack placed his finger on Lisa’s lips

“Lise….he paused “I could never be angry at you, I just wish you have have told me sooner….how could I be angry? You are having our baby.” Jack looked into Lisa’s blue eyes… “I am surprised to say the least, I didn’t think it was possible at our age”…a cheeky grin snuck out from under his moustache… “But I love you Lise, more than anything and regardless of our age, we are having this baby & it will be an amazing blessing to our lives”…. Lisa felt so much relief that she began to cry…she had held onto this for the past month worrying about Jacks reaction that now she finally felt free.

~~

“So” Jack said playfully…..“let me have a proper look at you”… They had decided that they would carry on as normal and head home to 'heartland’ for dinner with the family. Both of them knew ( after their wedding) that keeping secrets from everyone, in particular Lou was not an option, and they didn’t want to put Amy in a difficult situation. Since Lisa was almost half way & given her age she had undergone numerous tests in France, all of which indicated a healthy baby, so at dinner tonight they would share the news. “You look beautiful Lise” Jack stood back & admired his wife as she showered, changed and got ready to head home. “ I don’t know about beautiful” she smiled at him “but what I do know is I have never been more happy to be home with you than right now”. Jack pulled Lisa into his arms & kissed her deeply….she pulled back and grinned at him… “Enough of that, this is what got us in the predicament in the first place”…. Jack laughed out loud “I know!!!” ….. “I may be old, but I’m no fool” he winked at Lisa as he closed the door behind them & headed out to the truck with the last of Lisa’s luggage.

As they made the short trip from 'Fairfield’ accross to home, Jack leant in & pulled Lisa close to him…. “So tonight Lise….are you okay if I tell everyone?” “Yup, just lets do it early, I don’t want to make this more difficult than it already is….and if I know heartland the fire will be roaring & I can’t hide my bump under this heavy jumper for too long….l’ll over heat!!!!” She looked up at Jack, nose screwed up trying not to laugh.. “Is this what it’s going to be like from now on?” Jack mocked “You complaining about being too hot all the time?” “Yup, you betcha”….“ Not to mention the bit about my pants being too tight & being constantly hungry”…. Jack squeezed Lisa tight & kissed her forehead, the lights of “heartland” shon up ahead in the distance.

“Welcome home Lisa” Georgie greeted them as they walked through the front door, “it’s so good to see you”. Home never felt better & Lisa was so happy to be back. As everyone sat around the table, a hive of activity, sharing the days stories, bombarding Lisa with questions about her trip Jack looked accross at Lisa…she was glowing, pregnancy suited her he thought to himself….it was sure going to be a challenge at times & there were parts of Jack that felt slight apprehension, but at the end of the day he had his family around him and a woman that he loved more than anything. Amy looked at Jack, he smiled at her & mouthed ’ thank you’…she was so happy for them both, and couldn’t wait for them to share their news….

“Well here goes nothin” Jack muttered to himself as he rose to his feet at the head of the table. He looked down at Lisa, she had her head down and her hands resting other on the table…she was nervous he knew…. “Thank you Lou & Georgie for this special welcome home dinner for Lisa” Jack paused….he looked around at everyone at the table & sighed… “What’s wrong grandpa” Lou asked, concerned “Are you ok?” Jack reached out and rested his hand on Lisa’s shoulder…. “I’m fine Lou, actually I am better than fine” he smiled “What?!” Tim looked up from his dinner “What’s going on Jack?” “Come on old man….what is it?” Tim was forever stirring Jack “Well….Lisa and I have some news….its not something that we planned, and we have only recently found out ourselves”…… “Your not having a baby are you?” Lou added quickly “Well as a matter a fact Lou, that’s exactly what we are having…well what’s Lisa’s having”….. “What?!” Lou squeeled “Oh my god that’s amazing” added Georgie “congratulations ” Ty offered a hand shake to Jack as he stood from his chair along with a huge smile.

~

Jack was pleasantly surprised by Lou’s response, on many occasions her reaction could be cut throat and cold but as Jack watched her reach for Lisa’s hand and hug her tightly, he knew that this new baby was going to be the blessing he had hoped for & more importantly that Lisa would have the support that she deserved.

“You old son of a gun” Tim playfully added as he walked past Jack on his way to congratulate Lisa….

Jack smiled as he watched the family surround Lisa, showering her with kisses, congratulating her. He knew that telling the family was something that Lisa had worried about alot, almost as much as she had worried about telling Jack himself, but they could both relax for now. There was no keeping it from anyone…no secrets, as much it wasn’t something they hadn’t planned, nor were there any guarantees that along the way Lisa’s age may produce some obsticles, right now it was their special news and the family couldn’t be happier.

~

The fire crackled as Jack stoked it and loaded it with wood for the night. The table had been cleared and Amy, Lou and Lisa were packing away the last of the dishes. Jack could here their chatter in the kitchen, he stood away from their view and listened. Lou startled him as she came back into the dining room. “Well grandpa, you certainly know how to surprise a girl, that’s for sure” she smiled at Jack who was now sitting back on the old leather couch. “I surprise myself Lou…believe me!” Jack looked down at his rough old hands as they rested on his lap “To be tell you the truth Lou” he paused for a moment “I’m scared to death….I’m an old man…what if I can’t keep up at my age?” Lou looked at her grandpa, a man who she had always been able to rely on no matter what, he was indeed old in years but he was fit & still able to work like a man many years his junior….. Lou smiled & let a small giggle slip from her lips “Well grandpa, your OBVIOUSLY not too old” she couldn’t help laugh out loud… Lou and Jack had a different relationship from he and Amy and Lou at times had made it difficult when it came to Jack and Lisa’s relationship. She and Lisa were close, Lisa was of course Katie’s godmother but there had been times when Lou’s behaviour could only be described as selfish. “Grandpa, I am so happy for you and Lisa…I know you worry, but please don’t. Lisa is fit and healthy and looks after herself, she will be fine” Lou’s voice was sincere and it made Jack feel better knowing that Lou felt the way she did….. She went on…. “As for you Grandpa, Lisa keeps you young and you have done this so many times before, with mom, Amy and I, and helping me with Georgie & Katie…..one thing is for sure” Lou looked at Jack with such love in her eyes…. “ you love Lisa and she loves you and that’s all that matters….this will be one lucky baby”. Lou kissed Jack goodnight, she did the same with Amy & Lisa before heading off to bed……. “Night grandpa” Amy popped her head around the corner “Good night honey….I love ya” “Love you too” Amy went to put her jacket on as she headed out the door and accross the yard to the loft….. “And Amy” Jack came to meet her in the doorway… “Thank you” he hugged her tight and kissed her forehead Amy smiled and squeezed him tight…… “Night grandpa”

~

As the night drew to a close & the cold air set in Jack padded through the house dimming the lights as he made his way to the bedroom, Lisa was unpacking the last of her things when he came in. “Heya…tired I bet?” Jack rested his hands on Lisa’s shoulders as he came up behind her. She turned around to face him, her blue eyes still sparkled even though Jack could see how exhausted she was. “More tired than I have ever felt before”, she managed a smile “Well that sort of comes with the territory Lise, you better get used to it” Jack wrapped his big arms around Lisa’s much smaller frame, he held her tight…. He could feel her swollen stomach pushing up against the buckle of his jeans… Lisa as tired as she was, felt as if she never wanted to leave his embrace. She had exhausted herself these past weeks worrying about Jack and his reaction to her pregnancy, she had laid awake night after night wondering what the family would think, and how Lou would react….. And now she felt a sense of complete euphoria…..she had prepared herself for the worst, yet she had needed no worried at all.

“I spose we better get ready for bed” Lisa pulled her face away from the warmth of Jacks chest “Mmmmmmm, I spose we should” Jack replied wearily

As Lisa changed into her Pajamas, she noticed Jack sitting on the side of the bed watching her…. “What?” She asked him jokingly “I know, got myself a nice little bump haven’t I? …. "It’s amazing how quickly your body changes” she continued…. Jack cut in…. “Nope, I was just thinking to myself how beautiful you are….and how lucky I am” Lisa smiled “Well thank you…..but I think I’m the lucky one”…. “I had just come to the conclusion that I was never going to have children of my own, and here I am now, at my age….and we are having a baby”. Lisa somewhat sounded bewildered, she was overwhelmed with happiness, but a part of her was scared to death. Jack got up from where he was sitting, he could sense the uncertinty in Lisa’s voice, he too felt nervous, but at the same time his heart was filled with love and he knew that aside from all things Lisa would make a wonderful mother and that tonight’s reaction from the family was testament that they would be ok. ~ “Look Lise” jacks voice was soft with emotion “I know that this wasn’t something that we had planned, God knows at our ages we both didn’t think it was possible….but the world works in mysterious ways…and here we are” he paused, placing his hand under Lisa’s chin and brought her eyes to meet his… “And I have never been more sure about anything,…. I love you Lise, you gave me a second chance at life and love when you came into my life and I need you to always know that no matter what, the way I feel about you will never change”….. Lisa had never doubted Jacks love for her, she knew that he was at times a stubborn man, with old fashioned values and who even with Lisa’s bossy, overbearing ( at times) nature was a man true to his word…Jack made Lisa feel safe, he was her home and she was his.

The morning sun streamed through the bedroom window, Lisa lay there on her side watching Jack as he slept peacefully beside her. It was the best night sleep she had had in too many months and as she lay there watching him she felt a sudden, odd sensation in her abdomen….Lisa rolled quickly onto her back, head propped up on two pillows. Her abrupt movement beside him had woken Jack, he turned to face Lisa. She always looked beautiful first thing in the Morning he thought to himself, hair ruffled accross her face, bright eyes looking at him as if it was like their very first meeting all those years ago. “Morning Lise” he said in a croaky voice “Jack!” Lisa exclaimed “Give me your hand?” She reached accross and took his right hand in hers “What is it Lise?” But before he could go on, Lisa place Jacks hand on her swollen belly and for the first time ever, Jack felt his unborn child move….. Lisa looked over at the old man she loved so much, she could see tears in his eyes…This tough old rancher with hands like sand paper bent over lifted her Pajama top and gently kissed her stomach….

[largentkzpreslerfh87insuran-blog]

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[junker-town]

NFL Dad, Week 7: You can’t fight the Pumpkin Industrial Complex

Every week, our NFL Dad tries to watch the full slate of RedZone Channel action while parenting two toddlers. This week: costume parties, pumpkins, and a distinct lack of drama.

I don’t care for the annual pumpkin craze, but I refuse to harsh anyone’s pumpkin high. I won’t rail against pumpkin spice lattes, I won’t scoff at pumpkin beers, and I won’t even make an official statement against pumpkin yogurt pretzels or pumpkin smoothies. I believe that apples are the better seasonal food, but taste is subjective (even if you don’t recognize that “pumpkin” flavor is just clove and cinnamon). Regardless, your pumpkin habit doesn’t affect my enjoyment of autumn.

This mindset is probably why I went along with my wife’s desire to go to a pumpkin patch on Saturday. Yes, my daughter already went apple-picking, but my son (almost 18 months) had never been to a pumpkin patch, so we needed to give him that experience. Could we buy a slightly overpriced pumpkin at the nearby farmer’s market? Sure, but that would be easy.

Instead, because we live in a dumb city unfit for parents and car owners, we rent a Zipcar for the morning, drive 90 minutes to a Long Island pumpkin patch that serves 4 million New Yorkers eager to avoid driving to a REAL farm in the Hudson Valley, fail to take a picture of the two kids in the pumpkins together, and survive an epic in-car meltdown from my daughter before hitting standstill traffic on the way back to the city. Oh, and my son slept for 20 minutes in the car, ruining his afternoon nap.

BUT AT LEAST WE GOT PUMPKINS! PRECIOUS MEMORIES AND TWO PUMPKINS FOR THE LOW LOW PRICE OF FIVE HOURS OF UNHAPPY CHILDREN. FIVE F**KING STARS, WOULD WASTE MY TIME AGAIN.

Pumpkins are dumb flavorless squashes and I hate them.

EARLY GAMES, FIRST HALF

— The Saints-Packers matchup, which SHOULD be a Drew Brees-Aaron Rodgers shootout, will instead be a referendum on Brett Hundley in his first pro start. In the rain. WOOF.

Early in the game, Hundley draws the Saints offsides for a free play, but underthrows Davante Adams deep. It illuminates the problem with anyone who backs up Aaron Rodgers: even if they’ve learned his tricks of the trade, they don’t have the sheer talent to produce the same magic that he does. (The drive ends with an Aaron Jones sprint up the gut of the defense. 7-0, Green Bay.)

— The Rams, playing the Cardinals in London, are wearing their white-and-gold uniforms with the white horns on the helmets. Such an awful look. Anything reminiscent of the St. Louis era should be burned in a Dumpster YES EVEN KURT WARNER.

But for real, just wear the blue and yellow every week. It looks way better.

— Green Bay intercepts Brees in the end zone, but when I wake up from my nap the Saints have fought back to tie the game at seven. Briefly, anyway: Hundley runs it in to reclaim the lead and get his first Lambeau Leap.

— The Jaguars are stomping the Colts 17-0. There’s not much to say here, except Leonard Fournette isn’t playing and T.J. Yeldon looks capable in his stead. There’s nothing about the Jacoby Brissett offense that suggests it’s built to overcome a three-score lead against a very good defense. I’m happy to write this one off — and judging by the TV coverage, so is RedZone.

— Jameis Winston is playing with a sprained AC joint, and he looks off-target. Well, more off-target than usual. He underthrows one receiver, then throws off-target on a screen before getting strip-sacked. That tomahawk chop couldn’t have felt good on his injured shoulder.

— With the Bears up two scores, Mitchell Trubisky runs to the left on third and goal and dives for pylon. It’s ruled a touchdown initially, but overturned on review. Facing 4th and goal less than a yard out, John Fox opts to kick a field goal like the big ol’ coward he is.

Now, I’m getting ahead of myself in the diary, but I don’t want to talk about the Bears again, so let’s just get this dumb team out of the way. The Bears will go on to win thanks to Eddie Jackson’s two defensive touchdowns, which might make Chicago fans ignore the inherent John Fox-ness of their team’s play. I won’t hear any results-based defense of this trash team. Look at this!

The Bears are the first team to win a game while completing less than 5 passes since the 2011 Broncos. Tim Tebow was the QB of that team. http://pic.twitter.com/0RuRQYQDo3

— FOX Sports: NFL (@NFLonFOX) October 22, 2017

This is the drive chart of a team that won today. http://pic.twitter.com/UrjQyCEZUN

— Football Perspective (@fbgchase) October 22, 2017

The Bears earned zero first downs in the second half and became the first NFL team to win with fewer than five completed passes since ... the last time John Fox coached in the NFL. I’d rather have a block of cement coach my team.

— My daughter is up from her nap. She asks what’s happening on the TV. “The Browns are the brown team with orange helmets,” I say. “The Titans are the white team with blue pants. I like the Titans’ uniforms better. What do you think?”

She pauses for a moment. “I like the orange!” Such a shame that I have to disown her now.

— Todd Gurley freezes the Cardinals’ D with a jump-stop at line of scrimmage, then scampers around the left edge for a touchdown.

.@TG3II gets around the edge and is IN for SIX. #LARams http://pic.twitter.com/PMgvFG23T7

— NFL (@NFL) October 22, 2017

That possession came as a result of a Carson Palmer interception thrown while he got hit. Palmer seems unlikely to return (UPDATE: broken arm, he’s out 8 weeks), so we can go ahead and cross “Cardinals comeback” off the list. I’ve seen the Drew Stanton Show before.

— DeShone Kizer throws a pick that gets caught on the Titans’ 11-yard line. I have never in my life seen a quarterback commit red zone turnovers like this. He’s like the anti-Mariota.

That realization gives this useless field goal battle some semblance of meaning: Kizer and Mariota are diametrically opposed forces drawn together, as if they’re in a superhero movie like Unbreakable or Hancock. (Speaking of Unbreakable, shouts out to Sam Bradford, the undisputed Mr. Glass of the NFL.)

— With the Dolphins backed up to their own goal line, Jay Cutler throws an interception off a deflected pass. The Jets punch it in for a 21-14 lead. This game has been wildly entertaining throughout the first half, but I’m not wired to accept these teams playing an entertaining game.

— The Rams score another touchdown, this time on a Jared Goff read-option keeper. They’re up 20-0 near the end of the half, and Drew Stanton will have 40 seconds to throw an interception and give the Rams another chance to score.

Stanton’s first throw on the next drive: a pick directly to a Rams defender. I swear this is not some ex post facto insight I’ve edited in; I’ve just watched Drew Stanton before. So has the First Down France account:

Quelle honte Stanton. Scandaleux

— NFL France (@FirstDownFR) October 22, 2017

Scandaleux indeed! Greg Zuerlein kicks a 53-yarder, and the Rams go into halftime up 23-0.

EARLY GAMES, SECOND HALF

— I’m not usually in the business of highlighting irrelevant three-yard catches, but Christian McCaffrey warrants an exception:

.@run__cmc only needs ONE hand. WOW. #KeepPounding http://pic.twitter.com/lg8V13659I

— NFL (@NFL) October 22, 2017

Lots of masturbation jokes to be made in that tweet there. Not that I would think about them, because I am VERY MATURE. Father of young children over here.

(*audibly farts and tells the kids it’s a “barking spider”*)

— My wife is taking our kids to a Halloween-ish birthday party, which means costumes are welcome but not mandatory. My son will be a shark, my daughter will be a ghost, and my wife will be harried and stressed out.

I help my daughter into the stroller and put her shoes on, then assist my wife as she loads my son into our carrier (we like the flexibility and simplicity of the Beco carrier, in case you’ve made the mistake of having children and need a recommendation).

And then, at 2:51 p.m. Eastern time: They’re gone. My apartment is completely quiet except for the TV. I am tempted to sleep, to eat and drink everything in the house, to get on my bike and ride in the sunshine ... but I just keep watching RedZone. The whole premise of me missing the party is that I have to work.

So, I stay and watch Joe Thomas tear his triceps, leading to the first missed snap of his career. After 10,363 consecutive snaps, the NFL’s ironman exits the game. And on such a promising Browns team!

Jay Cutler’s consecutive sourpuss streak is safe.

— In Miami, Jay Cutler has also left the game with an injury, though his consecutive sourpuss streak is safe.

— I take my dog for a walk. Stella is a Rottweiler mix that I adopted three or four years before I met my wife, and the dog loves me despite the way I’ve filled her living space with small humans that don’t give adequate belly rubs and suck up the attention that used to go to her.

While outside, we run into a family that dog-sat Stella once, and she nuzzles them all and wags her nub fervently. I leave her outside while I duck into a grocery to buy a tallboy (prep for the Seahawks game), and when I come back she lies down on the pavement and rolls onto her side. No walking until she gets her belly rub.

I say a lot how fulfilling parenthood is (and it is!), but for the record: My life was also pretty kickass when it was just me and Stella.

— I return from the walk and look at my computer while catching up. Something about my TV seems blurry, like the players are in regular definition. Then I notice that I’m getting more Jets-Dolphins than I’ve seen all day. Is RedZone EVER going to show this O.J. Howard touchdown I’m reading about on Twitter?

And then I realize: I’m watching the local CBS feed of the Jets game. I must have pressed “2” with an inadvertent nudge of the remote. I feel like I should get some kind of detox or vaccination.

DOCTOR: And how long were you exposed to Jets-Dolphins?

ME: I dunno, maybe 10 minutes?

DOCTOR: OK, this should be fairly routine — [reads chart]. REGULAR DEFINITION?!?!

ME: Is that bad?

[alarm sounds] [lights flash]

DOCTOR: [on the phone] Yes sir, we’re locking down the wing to contain the infection.

— In order to justify my beautiful peace and quiet, I start folding laundry, which is by far and away the WORST chore. I thought laundry couldn’t get worse, then I had kids. “Oh, you hate folding laundry? What if you had to do it more often and everything was five times smaller?” If we could afford simple luxuries, the very first thing I’d throw money at would be a laundry service.

— With less than a minute left in regulation, the Browns are attempting a 54-yard field goal to tie a 9-6 game. What a sorry-ass state of affairs. Welp, it’s good. The Browns are celebrating, but why? What is there to celebrate when the result is additional Browns football?

[clapping in Roger Goodell’s face after every word] BAN REGULAR SEASON OVERTIME AND SEND TEAMS HOME WITH TIES.

— Cooper Kupp scores a touchdown on a screen to make it 33-0 in London. I know Kupp played college ball at Eastern Washington, but that’s a Big XII name if I’ve ever seen one. Whenever I see his name I just start making white person word salad with it until I come back to his name. Like this:

Coop Cooper

Scooper Coop

Copper Kopp

Pooker Puck

Pucker Pork

Rucker Corp

Kurper Carp

Cooper Kupp

Ahhhhh, that feels so nice in my brain. The only NFL name that’s better for that game is Blake Bortles.

— There are three tied games as the early slate winds down: Jets-Dolphins, Bucs-Bills, and the trash fire in Cleveland. In reverse order:

1. The Browns and Titans feebly do nothing for most of overtime before Mariota finally gets his team into field goal range. Ryan Succop hits a 47-yarder to end this miserable affair 12-9.

2. After a LeSean McCoy touchdown tied the game at 27, it looked like the Bucs would have a chance to win the game — except Adam Humphries coughs up the ball and the Bills recover in field goal range. Steven Hauschka hits a 30-yarder with 14 seconds left to win the game, but not before the Bucs pull off the longest, most competent failed lateralpalooza in NFL history.

The final play today in Buffalo... #TBvsBUF http://pic.twitter.com/2Raz5eyFNu

— NFL (@NFL) October 22, 2017

3. Josh McCown attempts to lead the Jets on a game-winning drive. Pretend you didn’t see this game or any highlights: Given that setup, how do you think this ends?

If you said, “McCown interception” without thinking, congratulations: You have seen NFL games before. The announcer scoffs, “15 years [in the league], you shouldn’t make that mistake.” Yeah, no shit. But that’s the result you deserve when “political activism” is a disqualifying factor in your quarterback search.

Cody Parkey kicks the game-winner for the Dolphins. Cardy Poker. Coder Party. Parker Podey. Porky Corder. Corky Pordy. Cody Parker. Ahhhh.

LATE GAMES, FIRST HALF

— In Santa Clara, the Niners fumble a punt return, giving Dallas a short field. Zeke Elliott punches it in, and folks, I don’t think the home team’s gonna be able to overcome this 7-0 deficit. It’s just too big a hole with too little time.

— The Seahawks are at the Giants this week, which means I have the relatively rare luxury of watching the local broadcast, which in turn means that this column is gonna kind of suck from here on out. I promise to flip to RedZone during commercials!

(Last week, the Seahawks were on bye, and I didn’t mention that stupid team’s name ONCE in the entire column. I never enjoy the NFL as much as when Seattle doesn’t play.)

— The late games I’ll be mostly ignoring: Cowboys-49ers, Bengals-Steelers, and Broncos-Chargers. I click over during commercial, and there’s Antonio Brown scoring on a slant. Like clockwork. It’s 7-0 Steelers.

— Last season, a lot of people made fun of Ben McAdoo for wearing a giant, oversized windbreaker. Seeing him this season, it’s now clear that he chose the XXL with the intent to fill it out. I’m not trying to fat-shame anyone; I love a coach with a longterm vision.

I won’t make fun of anyone’s perceived weight gain, but I definitely WILL make fun of McAdoo’s sunglasses and hair and game-planning and everything else about him, because he’s a total herb who can’t coach.

— It’s so quiet in this apartment. So calm. My favorite team is on television, and I am drinking a beer and watching them without any children vying for my attention. This is nice. I like it? Yes, I like it.

But I also kinda miss the chaos. Not the chaos itself, but my ability to lessen it. If my son falls and cries, I can pick him up and soothe him. But if the Seahawks have ten plays inside the 11-yard line and come away with zero points because they throw a goddamn FADE on fourth down and JIMMY GRAHAM DROPS IT, there’s not a goddamn thing I can do about it. At least parenting offers a tiny piece of self-determination.

-- I wonder what my kids are doing, but, like, only during commercials. If my wife ever leaves me, she should do it during a Seahawks game. Automatic three-hour head start.

— Jason Witten makes a SPECTACULAR one-handed TD grab.

.@JasonWitten ONE HAND TOUCHDOWN CATCH! Beautiful. #DallasCowboys http://pic.twitter.com/nMWkMOIr6W

— NFL (@NFL) October 22, 2017

What a great catch by a tight end! Isn’t that right, JIMMY GRAHAM??!?

— Juju Smith-Schuster gets wide open for a touchdown, then celebrates with hide-and-seek.

Come for the @TeamJuJu TD catch. But stay for Hide & Seek. #HereWeGo http://pic.twitter.com/YDaoE7SMeJ

— NFL (@NFL) October 22, 2017

This is a perfectly fine celebration, but I also think a lot of fans are being too laudatory of anything that flies in the face of the old, crappy rules against celebrations. Like, hide-and-seek is a children’s game. The other week, Kyle Rudolph celebrated with a game of Duck, Duck, Goose/Grey Duck. Are we really going to think it’s cool or funny if players dance in a circle and sing “Ring Around the Rosie”? Trust me: As a man who has sung “Ring Around the Rosie” and fallen down two dozen times in the last three days, it’s not that great.

Ditch the kids’ games and come at me with something that rivals Colombia’s team salsa dance. I am not a crank.

— Thomas Rawls fumbles directly into Landon Collins’ arms. Collins returns the ball some 30-odd yards to set up a red zone possession for the Giants, whose offense suddenly comes to life to score in two plays. Evan Engram scores the touchdown on a play in which Eli Manning play-faked to no one. Cool. Cool cool cool.

I change into sweatpants. There is a knot in the jaw muscle near my temple.

— I get a text from wife. They’re leaving in about 15 minutes. Is she sure? Does she want to stay out a little later? Go ahead, let them play with their friends a little longer. They can stay up late and have some more cake. Bring ‘em back around 8:00. No?

— Doug Baldwin is briefly taken over by the collective spirit of Seahawks Twitter and shoves Tom Cable, the offensive line coach largely blamed as the root of the team’s horrid line play.

The full story comes out later: Baldwin was trying to make sure that Russell Wilson was being heard by the players; the wideout wanted the emphasis to be on the players’ failure to execute, not the coaches’ calls. He even apologized to Cable and said he loves him.

Which, as a Seahawks fan, I guess is fine. But I also would have been OK with Wilson and Baldwin saying, “It’s him or us.”

— Good night, Dre Kirkpatrick:

The Bengals are 100% losing this game. You don’t recover from that.

— Zeke Elliott scores his third touchdown of the day, a 72-yard catch and run that puts the 49ers to bed.

LATE GAMES, SECOND HALF

— I run a bath and heat up the kids’ dinner. It’s a little after 6:00 p.m., and we’re going to have to hustle to keep the kids on schedule for their 7:00 bedtime.

My sister had kids years before I did, and I was the typical ignorant drunk uncle when it came to her devotion to the kids’ naps and schedule. “What’s with the schedule? Why can’t the kids just power through this one time?” Because the schedule is GOD, man! The schedule is all-powerful. It is the weather; it is the earth beneath your feet. Reject it and your life will be untethered from reality, a nonstop maelstrom of tears and tantrums.

We had dinner with friends on Saturday night, and ended up putting the kids to bed at 8:30 instead of 7:00. And my son was WRECKED the next morning, an absolute disaster until we put him down for a nap almost two hours earlier than usual.

— Uh, the Chargers are up 14-0 over the Broncos? The AFC West is a spooky-ass house of mirrors.

— With 14:03 in the 3rd quarter, the Giants get their first third down conversion in the game. Manning now has 29 yards passing. The next time I complain about watching the Seahawks offense, please remind me that the Giants exist.

— Around 6:20 p.m., just as my family returns, the Seahawks offense finally gets its touchdown:

The touch on this @DangeRussWilson TD pass... #Seahawks http://pic.twitter.com/raQqkTDpVi

— NFL (@NFL) October 22, 2017

The touch on that pass is what stands out on first watch, but do yourself a favor and watch the ankle-breaking move that gets Baldwin a free release from the slot.

— I’m as anti-Steelers as a fan can get, but I respect the hell out of any coach who attempts rude shit to stomp on a division rival. TO WIT: With the Steelers up two scores, Mike Tomlin dials up a fake punt on 4th and 7 to ice the game.

FAKE PUNT ALERT! #HereWeGo http://pic.twitter.com/wFxTkTqxjo

— NFL (@NFL) October 22, 2017

What an absolutely shitty thing to do. I love it!

— Speaking of disrespect, the Seahawks even the turnover battle with a strip-sack of Manning, and the first play they run on offense is this:

.@prichiejr goes ALL the way up to make the grab. Wow. Touchdown, @Seahawks! #Seahawks http://pic.twitter.com/7jvzLhruFx

— NFL (@NFL) October 22, 2017

It’s slightly underthrown by Wilson, which gives Landon Collins JUST enough time to make a play on the ball, but the simultaneous possession gives the Seahawks a touchdown. If I learned anything from the Fail Mary, it’s that a tie goes to the runner.

— We put the kids down at 7:25, and bedtime goes as smoothly and drama-free as each of the four late games.

Aside from the Seahawks result, I can’t say that I liked today better than the usual pandemonium of being NFL Dad. Given the choice, I’ll take the chaos and love of fatherhood over the quiet stress of being totally focused on my team. Both would be nice, of course, but that would mean more Seattle games in primetime. And I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

[watchingthesuperbowl]

Notes taken during Super Bowl XXII

PREGAME

Looks like this is an ABC broadcast. Al Michaels on play by play.

Coin toss: Don Hutson! The closest thing football had to Babe Ruth, a guy who broke the sport and changed it forever.

Washington calls heads, it's heads, they'll receive.

Michaels: Joe Gibbs went to San Diego State, was an assistant at SDSU, was an assistant with the Chargers. This game is a homecoming for him, played at Jack Murphy Stadium.

Joe Gibbs as an Aztec

Michaels: Broncos say they're happy to be here, but will be miserable if they go home with another loss.

FIRST QUARTER

Washington starts at their own 17. They sort of got boned on the opening kick return. Ricky Sanders was thrown to the ground long after going out of bounds, but no call.

First play: Timmy Smith to the right, gains a few yards.

Michaels: Washington starting back George Rogers hurt his ankle in the NFC championship game, was expected to start and play a bit, but Smith is in the game instead.

Third and 6, Williams decked as he throws, Gary Clark just flat drops the pass. Would have been a first down, but is a three-and-out. Steve Cox on to punt.

Broncos will take over near midfield after the punt.

How does this work? Do you just bring a bag of dolls to the Super Bowl just in case?

First play: Elway goes deep right, perfect throw over the shoulder of Ricky Nattiel, touchdown! 7-0 Broncos. 

I think maybe that Michaels call of the touchdown gets sampled in "The Fuses Have Been Lit" by Pop Will Eat Itself. Pausing the game to check. Yep. At roughly 3:01 in that song, you can clearly hear the play-by-play of the Elway to Nattiel touchdown. Also: That's a great song by a great band.

This is this. This ain't something else.

Timmy Smith gets the ball on the first three plays of Washington's second drive. Lots and lots of Timmy.

Washington does nothing with the ball on their second drive. Michaels says this was a three and out. I'm not going to re-watch this drive, but I feel like Timmy got a first down. Either way, Steve Cox is punting. Yep, Michaels corrects himself, says they got a first down on that drive. Washington has punted twice in the first four minutes of the game.

First play of the second drive by the Broncos: Elway deep to Mark Jackson. Just overthrown.

Next play, Jackson across the middle, makes the catch for a 32 yard pickup. Broncos giving Elway all day to find receivers.

Trickery on the next play: Handoff to Steve Sewell, who throws it back to a wide open Elway on a wheel route. 24 yard gain inside the Washington 15. Broncos offense is firing on all cylinders. That was the first reception by a quarterback in Super Bowl history.

Washington holds and the Broncos will have to attempt a field goal. Rich Karlis missed two chip shots in Super Bowl XXI. Let's see what he can do here. Right down the middle. 10-0 Denver, 9:09 left in the quarter.

Ricky Sanders appears to fumble the ensuing kickoff. Huge pileup inside the Washington 20. Everybody, including barefoot kicker Rich Karlis, pushing and shoving for position. Dude, someone's going to step on your foot. Anyway, Washington recovers and Karlis comes away with his foot intact.

Officials conferring. ABC commentators really can tell what they're talking about. Michaels says they're looking to see if it was a fumble. I'm not sure it matters, given that the receiving team recovered. After a lengthy review, the play stands as called.

Third and 16, Williams nearly picked off, but caught by Art Monk for a 35 yard gain. Washington at midfield.

Washington tries to run an end around run/pass option to Ricky Sanders, but he can't find an open receiver or running room. Loss of four.

Drive stalls there. Steve Cox to punt again, though at least Denver will have a long way to drive for a touchdown this time. (Sorry, Browns fans.)

Howie Long? Is that you?

Broncos chewing yardage on the ground this time. Gene Lang with a couple of nice carries. Lang had 51 yards and a touchdown in the AFC championship game.

ABC graphic: Average gain on first down: Washington 1.8, Denver 17.5. Small sample size alert, but still...

Now Elway to Sewell on a shovel pass to the Washington 30. Denver has them on the ropes.

Elway misses an open receiver on second and ten, then gets buried for a 17 yard sack on third down. Broncos to punt from near midfield.

Washington takes over at their own 16. A big run from Timmy Smith on second down, out to the 50. But it's called back on a holding penalty. A 25 yard gain vanishes.

After a first down, Doug Williams is sacked and injured. His foot slides out from underneath him and it looks bad. Maybe a hamstring, maybe a knee. Jay Schroeder comes onto the field.

Williams clearly fumbled on that play, but the refs called it dead for some reason. Denver got hosed.

Schroeder sacked on his first play. Back to back sacks by the Denver defense and it's third and super-long.

Kelvin Bryant drops a third down pass, Washington's fourth drop of the quarter. Everything is going perfectly for the Broncos. Cox to punt for the fourth time today.

First quarter ends. 10-0 Broncos. Michaels says Williams has a hyper-flexed knee and is expected to return on the next series.

SECOND QUARTER

Third and 10 for Denver, Charles Mann jumps offside. It's a free play for Elway who scrambles, scrambles, and gets sacked. No big deal, it's now third and 5.

Incomplete shovel pass on third down. Weirdly, a bunch of people dive onto the ball. That's an incomplete pass, fellas. Here's Mike Horan to punt from midfield. Boots it into the end zone. 14:17 left in the half, still 10-0.

It's not 10-0 anymore. First play of the drive, Doug Williams goes deep, hits Ricky Sanders right in stride, and it's an 80 yard touchdown pass. Denver's lead is now 10-7. 14:07 left in the half.

Broncos go three and out on their next drive. Elway hits linebacker Monte Coleman in the hands on third down. Would have been an easy pick six. Broncos punt from the shadow of their own goalposts.

Cutaway: Cement mixers spelling out XXII just outside the parking lot.

ABC graphic: Washington total yards: First quarter 63, Last play 80

Second and 1, Timmy Smith blows through the middle, gets to the Denver 35. Washington offense is in business again.

Third and 2, Williams goes deep, finds a wide open Gary Clark at the goal line. Touchdown Washington, suddenly they're on top 14-10.

Another big gain on a shovel pass for Denver. Elway to Winder, out to the Bronco 40 for a gain of 20 or so.

Next play, looks like Winder fumbles and Washington recovers, but the ball is ruled down. A replay shows it's close. That wouldn't be overturned.

Second and 3 at the Washington 47, Dave Butz knocks down an Elway pass. Next play, Elway barely avoids a sack and scrambles for 21 yards. First and 10 from the Washington 26.

Denver left tackle Dave Studdard is injured. Looks like his left knee buckled when he planted. That's not a good sign.

Third and 10, Elway throws behind Vance Johnson. Rich Karlis comes out for a field goal, trying to cut the lead to 14-13. Nope, hooks it left. Washington takes over, still up 14-10.

Washington offense still firing. First play, Williams to Clark over the middle for 16.

Timmy Smith. Wow. 58 yard run, bursting through the line, then tightroping down the sideline for the score. That's Smith's first pro touchdown, in the regular or post season. 21-10 Washington.

Denver does nothing with the ball and will punt.

First play, Williams overthrows Ricky Sanders, nearly picked off by Mark Haynes. Dierdorf calls Haynes out, says it was a weak effort.

Doug Williams: 8-15, 210 yards, 2 TD

Williams deep, looking for Sanders again, 3-4 yards behind the defense. Hits him in stride at the ten and Sanders goes in untouched for a 50 yard touchdown. That's his second TD catch of the game, ties the Super Bowl record. 28-10 Washington.

That's the Super Bowl record for most points by a team in a quarter: 28.

Michaels: Cleveland scored on four consecutive possessions in the second half of the AFC championship game, Denver won anyway.

Michaels: Game looked like it may be a Denver rout an hour ago, now it's 28-10 Washington.

Kickoff guy for Washington - Steve Cox - kicks straight on. This almost has to be the final Super Bowl with a straight-ahead kicker. (Okay, I looked it up. It is. It seems Cox kicked the last/most recent straight-ahead field goal in NFL history during this season, though Dirk Borgognone appears to be the last straight-ahead kicker, appearing in two games with the '95 Packers.)

As I thought about Steve Cox and straight ahead kicking, it occurred to me that Rich Karlis in this game might be the last barefoot placekicker in the Super Bowl. And that's true too. As for barefoot punters, the only one in Super Bowl history is Jim Miller of the 49ers in Super Bowl XVI.

Elway goes deep down the right sideline for Nattiel, he's picked off by Barry Wilburn. Dierdorf: That's a pass Elway never should have let go. Nattiel was never open. Gifford: Wilburn was in perfect position.

There's a delay, probably a replay to see if Wilburn was in bounds. Looks like he was. Yep, play stands as called.

One play later, we hit the two minute warning. Washington has all three timeouts, the ball, and two minutes to go 78 yards.

Dierdorf: If I needed to make a comeback, I'd want John Elway.

Second and 9 coming out of the two minute warning, the seas part for Timmy Smith and Timmy gets around 40 yards on a counter gap. Dierdorf: Denver looks like they've never seen that play before - Washington's run it a couple hundred times this year.

Michaels: Smith has 10 carries for 131 yards, more yardage than he had in the entire regular season.

ABC graphic: Total yards this quarter: Washington 322, Denver 87. 322 YARDS IN A QUARTER.

More yardage. 22 more. Ricky Sanders catches a short pass, give the DB the ol' okey doke, and gets inside the 15.

Michaels: Sanders has broken the record for most receiving yards in one Super Bowl. 177 yards and it's not even halftime.

Doug Williams limping, clearly not 100% healthy, and still demolishing the Bronco defense.

Williams: 12-20, 298 yards, 3 TD.

Denver safety Dennis Smith injured. He's at least the third key Bronco defensive player to be hurt today.

Third and four, Williams lofts it into the corner to Clint Didier. Easy touchdown. 35-10 Washington. By my count, that's 357 total yards this quarter by the Washington offense.

Gifford: If this was a fight, they might stop it.

Williams has four TD passes today, ties the Super Bowl record.

Michaels: This is the most points any team has ever scored in any quarter of postseason football. ('69 Raiders scored 28, '34 Giants scored 27.)

Dierdorf: Washington was content to kill clock on that last drive, but Smith broke that huge run. That fifth touchdown is gravy - they were prepared to go into the half up 28-10.

Dierdorf: I guess with a 25 point lead, we've cut down the chances of an overtime game.

Elway to Johnson (?) for a big gain to the Washington 36 or so. 15 seconds left.

After the game: New sitcom The Wonder Years, a special preview.

Broncos trying to get a score before the end of the half and Elway is picked off again. Rookie Brian Davis makes the play. His second interception of the postseason, he had zero interceptions in the regular season.

Washington kneels to end the half. Michaels points out it's their only possession of the second quarter that didn't end with a touchdown. 35-10 at the break.

HALFTIME

Williams in the first half: 13-21, 306 yards, 4 TD. Four passes were dropped. Otherwise he'd be 17-21.

Elway in the first half: 9-23, 185 yards, 1 TD, 2 INT

Timmy Smith in the first half: 10 rushes, 131 yards, 1 TD

THIRD QUARTER

First play: Elway with a ridiculous scramble before throwing an incomplete pass. That was just incredible.

Dierdorf: Washington DL Dexter Manley grabbed Denver OL Keith Bishop by the facemask after the play and yanked. If he keeps doing that, he'll be invited to watch the rest of the game from the locker room.

Third and 18, Elway goes deep and hits a wide open Barry Wilburn. This is a problem because Wilburn plays for the other team. Dierdorf says Elway has been picked off on three consecutive drives.

Washington possessions: punt, punt, punt. punt, touchdown, touchdown, touchdown, touchdown, touchdown, halftime.

Michaels: Monday before the regular season, Washington had a deal to trade Doug Williams to the Raiders, but coach Joe Gibbs says he just couldn't trade him. Michaels says if the Raiders had come up with a first round pick or a good player, things may have gone differently.

Third and nine, Williams can't find an open receiver and throws an incomplete pass. Broncos called for illegal hands to the face, and it's a first down at the Denver 32.

ABC graphic: Timmy Smith is the first rookie to run for more than 100 yards in a Super Bowl.

Third and 7, Williams could/should have been picked off. Threw into double coverage. He wants a pass interference call, but he gets nothing.

Here's Ali Haji-Sheikh for a 46 yard field goal attempt. Doink. Off the right upright. 8:57 left in the third quarter, still 35-10.

First play of the Bronco drive, a swing pass is badly telegraphed and defensive lineman Darryl Grant very nearly picks it off for a touchdown.

Broncos go three and out after Nattiel drops a ball that he should have had.

Michaels: Elway has completed 5 of his last 24 passes. 5 of 24!

Third and inches for Washington, George Rogers finally gets into the game and runs a couple yards for a first down. He's been fighting a bunch of injuries.

Williams now has 332 yards, has topped Joe Montana's record for passing yards in one Super Bowl.

Going deep downfield for Clark, Doug Williams is picked off at the Denver 2 by Jeremiah Castille. If they weren't going to score on this drive, that's just about as good a result as Washington could have had.

Michaels: "John Elway is used to 98 yard drives." All of Cleveland: "Go eff yourself, Al."

Dierdorf and Gifford marvel that Washington assistant Richie Petitbon, a fat guy, used to be a defensive back.

Gifford after a Bronco run up the middle: "I think Denver's trying to run the clock out."

Gifford over a cutaway of Dan Reeves looking at his play card: "Danny's about ready to tear that thing up, I think. Don't worry, Danny. Pam and the kids still love you. Maybe."

Backup QB Gary Kubiak standing next to Reeves, discussing something or other. It looks like the sort of thing a future head coach would do.

3rd and 22, Elway goes deep, forces a throw where it shouldn't go, and is picked off. It's called back, though, on a roughing the passer call. Alvin Walton hit him late, and it wasn't even a great shot. If you're going to give away the 15 yards, you flatten the guy, Alvin.

Broncos to punt. Fair catch at the Washington 31. 0:12 left in the third quarter.

Washington ends the quarter with an end around to Gary Clark into Denver territory. 35-10, end of the third.

FOURTH QUARTER

First play of the fourth quarter, Washington runs the same counter gap play they've been killing Denver with all day. 34 yard run for Timmy Smith. Timmy now has 171 yards on 16 carries.

Second and 3 from the Denver 7, Timmy Smith scores on a run up the middle. Nearly untouched. It's 42-10 Washington in the fourth quarter. 13:09 left.

Smith is now the first rookie in history to score 2 touchdowns in the Super Bowl.

Timmy: 18 rushes, 182 yards, 2 TD

Michaels: Washington has broken the record for most total yards in a Super Bowl, with 13 minutes still remaining.

John Elway still in the game, still running for his life. I understand why he's still out there, but you'd have to be tempted to pull him off the field so he's 100% ready to go in August.

Elway completes a pass to Clarence Kay, to the Washington 39.

One play later, Elway is sacked at midfield. The Washington defensive line is dominating.

Third and 9, Elway gets decked in the open field, sacked high and low at the same time. He's fine, but that's exactly why I was thinking it should be Kubiak out there and not Elway.

Broncos going for it on 4th and 17 because why not? Elway scrambles and chucks it across the field to Vance Johnson for a 40 yard completion. It's called back on a holding penalty. Now it's 4th and 27 and Denver will punt. It doesn't matter either way, but it's interesting that they're punting now.

9:11 left on the clock, Washington takes over the ball. Expect much Timmying.

Cutaway: Dave Butz and his son on the sideline with the son holding his helmet. That's pretty cool.

Cutaway shot: Sign that says "Frank and Al are the greatest." Dan Dierdorf: "Oh, thanks a lot, guys in the truck...We've declared war, I see."

More of that same counter gap play. Timmy Smith breaks the Super Bowl record for rushing yards in a game. Now has 197 yards in 20 carries.

Cutaway shot: Washington GM Bobby Beathard. Announcers talk about Timmy Smith needing a raise. Well, you might want to hold off on that, Bobby.

Cutaway: Jay Schroeder. Played in the Pro Bowl last year, watching the Super Bowl from the sidelines this year.

Kelvin Bryant with a nice run. Gifford: Washington has gotten a lot of mileage out of USFL players. Me: Hooray USFL!

Washington's USFL players on offense: Doug Williams, Kelvin Bryant, Gary Clark, Ricky Sanders

ABC graphic: Joe Gibbs has beaten every opposing team in the NFL except Denver.

Michaels: If you're casting Gibbs in a movie, he gets the role as the accountant or science teacher, not football coach.

Doug Williams named MVP. Teammates congratulating him. Timmy Smith with a big grin on his face. Tough to be mad about Williams being the MVP, particularly with the day he had.

Michaels: Washington has won two Super Bowls, both in strike seasons. (1982 and 1987)

ABC graphic: Individual records set. They need two pages to show all the records.

Keith Griffin in the game at running back for Washington. He takes a handoff. Griffin is Archie's brother, and has now had a better Super Bowl career than Archie, who had a big fumble in Super Bowl XVI.

Washington runs out the clock, burning more than nine minutes without giving up the ball. Final score: 42-10.

Gifford: You don't win your conference and play in the Super Bowl without a good organization.

POSTGAME

Keith Jackson hosts trophy ceremony in the Washington locker room.

Rozelle: Washington is the new America's Team. I'm sure Dallas loved that.

Cooke: Williams isn't a great black quarterback, he's a great quarterback.

Cooke: All credit goes to Joe Gibbs, the players, the front office.

Jackson: How long can this success go on? Cooke: Depends how long I live, I guess.

Jackson: You had the courage to sign a backup QB for $475,000. Cooke: It's the essence of wanting to win. If it had cost $875,000 or $1,875,000, I'd have told Gibbs to go get him. Maybe I wouldn't have been as happy about it, but I'd have said go get him.

Gibbs: Lucky to have an owner like Mr. Cooke, happy for fans and coaching staff.

Jackson: You've done it better than anybody in the 80s. Bill Walsh and Joe Montana: Hold our beers.

Jackson to Doug Williams: This has to be the highest moment of your life. Williams: No question. To be here is great, to win it is even better. The most important thing to me was to win.

Jackson: You've handled yourself wonderfully this week [in the hubbub about black quarterbacks]. Williams: I didn't come here as a black quarterback, I came here as Washington's quarterback. Just tried to play to the best of my abilities.

Williams: All year long, we've been the type of team to go behind and never give up. People haven't given us credit for this.

Williams: Talked to Dan Fouts and Jim Hart this week. A lot of great quarterbacks don't get to this game.

Elway: Sometime in the second quarter, they started making plays and we looked up and suddenly it was 35-10.

[sportsleague365]

Excellent Mailbox, people. Let’s keep this up with mails to theeditor@football365.com Winning is all that matters Southampton had a real go at United and dominated large spells of the game. Their approach and mentality made for a great spectacle. Obviously the wrongly disallowed goal changed the dynamic of the game, as an early lead would’ve given the Saints tremendous impetus. But credit to United, they dug deep. Having played four more games in the last fortnight, Southampton’s fresher legs were markedly evident in those aforementioned spells. Tactical changes by the United manager paid dividends in the end. Mourinho’s single-minded approach in creating a winning culture at United has begun well. Unlike his predecessors, he’s embraced the challenge of managing this massive juggernaut of world football. He’s breathed belief back into the football club. Performances matter little in a final. Winning is all that matters. SK (Romeu wouldn’t be a half bad replacement for Carrick!) …That was a really, really good cup final. I remember the FA Cup final last year being a bit drab up until Puncheon scored the first goal (thanks, LVG), but yesterday was a real treat, from beginning to end. Full credit to Southampton for putting in a superb performance – they really didn’t deserve to lose, but that’s just football I suppose. I’m also a colossal idiot for ever having doubted Zlatan Ibrahimovic. What an absolute beast of a player! That stat from 16 Conclusions about his post-30 goal haul being more than Michael Owen’s career tally is remarkable. His ego may be enormous, but he most certainly walks the walk, and has delivered time and again this season, when we’ve needed it. We really do need to try and hold on to him beyond this season. In a weird way, that performance was a refreshing change from United. We were by far the inferior team, but still managed to grind out the win (just like the Sir Alex era etc etc). That resilience is one of the most important things Mourinho could have brought back to the club. Hopefully this helps us kick on to win at least one more cup this season (hopefully the Europa). DJ, MUFC (loads of deficiencies to talk about, but that’s for a different mail) India …Not sure how we pulled that off but hugely relieved to walk off with the win against a very impressive Southampton side. I think we needed that to keep the momentum going and I can see us in the semis or final of the Europa league and even possibly make the top three with a decent run in the league. Given the investment though that should really be a minimum return. Southampton deserved the game over the 90 minutes but when you have Zlatan in the team you can roll with the punches and still come out on top. His comments after the game, and antics in winding Rooney up about who would lift the trophy were as entertaining as the game itself which was a belter. I thought Jose made an error in the positions of Mata and Lingard. Why have Lingard in the No.10 role with Mata huffing and puffing up and down the right hand side chasing after the Southampton full back and winger. I know Lingard got his goal but it looked all wrong to me. Onwards and upwards. Plato, MUFC …What an entertaining match it was, and what a finish. I dread to think of where United would be without Zlatan. Commiserations to Southampton, but I wouldn’t carp too much about the offside goal. Remember Bobby Stokes offside ‘goal’ in 1976 – what goes around comes around. United! Kevin, Dublin Some final conclusions 1. First things first: enormous credit has to go to Southampton, as they were by far the better team. Their pace and movement caused us so many problems from the off and we were very fortunate to win. Southampton were better for about 90 minutes, but the final was won in three individual moments of brilliance. It’s hard to imagine that Southampton would have conceded at least two of those goals had Van Dijk played. 2. It is a huge shame that, once again, I am talking about refereeing decisions having a major effect on games. Southampton’s first goal had to stand, and would have changed the course of the game. The sooner we address these issues with the full means available (read: technology), the better. 3. I have said it before, and I will continue to do it until I’m blue in the face: Chris Smalling is a f*cking liability. His positioning, decision making and just his common sense is shocking. He’s always shirt-tugging and holding at set-pieces, and the number of times you see him trying to recover from bad positioning is appalling. He has to go in the summer. 4. But most of the team as a whole were pretty poor. For my money, only Zlatan, Valencia and probably Herrera can come out of that game with any credit. The defence was all over the place, with Smalling, Rojo and Bailly all having poor games. Even De Gea could have done better for the first goal. 5. Im starting to get slightly irked at Pogba constantly trying to run the ball out from defence. It’s not always appropriate and almost cost us a few times today. It’s great that he wants to retain possession under pressure but pick your moments. 6. How was no one else looking at Gabbiadini? He is a class act, and could easily be playing at a top-four club (no disrespect to Southampton). If only they’d had him all season. 7. What was up with Jose? He looked thoroughly miserable all day! 8. I did think Southampton were slightly lucky to keep 11 players on the pitch. On another day, Stephens could have easily seen red, and Romeu too could have seen a second yellow for the elbow on Herrera, though that would have been harsh. Lingard was also lucky to stay on after a few rash moments following his booking. All in all, I’m delighted that we won the trophy and that match just reaffirms why I love the League Cup. No matter what happens with the rest of the season, we have a trophy and that’s all you can ask as a fan. Though I hope it’s not the last of the season, obviously! Ted, Manchester Everybody has the right to celebrate This Sunday just past, I was meant to play a football match for the club for which I have been involved with for the past five years. As I missed most of last season as I was in the U.K. working and missed the first half of this season as I was studying in Dublin, I re-joined in January to play with the club’s ‘C’ team which as I can only commit to training every second session at best, I was happy to do. Last Sunday was our fifth game since I returned and was also our first win. It was a hard fought game played in foul conditions in the bottom division of Limerick’s amateur football leagues, a city with a very proud amateur football/soccer heritage. The relief in winning that one game was great and the reason any of us play or love football in the first place. During the game I was lucky to not have my nose broken in an accidental coming together with an opposition defender and left the field at full time with an almost Terry Butcher style shirt. This did not take the shine off the win and the enjoyment of the whole occasion. A fine evening was spent in the pub with my teammates discussing what to anyone that was not involved, was as inconsequential as an old episode of Neighbours. My point is that Manchester United fans and players have every right to celebrate. It is their job, their profession. Many footballers, including the highest paid superstars, suffer serious injury in their career and suffer the extreme lows that come with it. If that is an accepted part of rhe game then is it not OK for the same players to celebrate wholeheartedly when they succeed? When they are in Wembley of all places with their hands on well and fairly earned trophy… I am no fan of United and their monolithic tractor partner corporate business model and even less so of their current manager but to tell their players, manager, staff or fans that they have no right to celebrate winning the League Cup takes away from the very essence of the sport that we all claim to care so much about and that so may of us decry for losing so much of what made it the so-called ‘beautiful game’ to begin with. If it shouldn’t matter for Manchester United to win a trophy at Wembley then why should it matter if my failing amateur team wins a game on a muddy pitch on a miserably wet Irish Sunday afternoon in February? If it doesn’t or shouldn’t matter then its football as a sport that doesn’t matter anymore. We might as well all just give up and get up to speed on what’s happening on Ramsey St and watch Neighbours instead. Kevin Walsh, Luimneach #campaignagainstManUnited You published this from me a few weeks ago( bless you for that): ‘Having watched in recent weeks; Mikhitarian score when a yard offside and have it stand (scorpion) Ibra score when a yard offside and have it stand (agst West Ham) Rojo lunge in two footed and get away with it (agst Liverpool) Rojo lunge in two footed and get away with it (agst Everton) Yesterday, Mata lunge in two footed and get away with it and given that everyone else isn’t allowed to score when a yard offside and we have seen Xhaka and Hendricks get reds for similar two-footers’ Then I can only agree with Jose when he says that the same rules don’t apply to him. I just can’t understand what he is complaining about it. If this ‘Jose alternative rulebook’ is applied from here on out, I fully expect United to come second this season and walk the league by 10 points next year. I’d like to submit yesterdays EFL cup final as further evidence of this trend. This is real folks – remember this is Jose Mourinho AND its Man Utd. Both masters of the dark arts. So get used to it football fans – next year that mind-numbingly boring and irritating era of Man Utd Uber alles will be back. They will walk the Prem – with a good team and 12 points a year handed to them by the refs – how could they not? Only thing is – if you you thought Fergie’s Utd were smug, entitled and obnoxious in victory – just imagine what Jose’s Utd will be like… Johnno PS. If I’m right Chelsea fans – Conte is getting sacked next season – so brace yourselves. A crying shame for Southampton I was determined not to be a sore loser but…the referee and linesmen have a very difficult job but…if goal line technology has now been successfully introduced, it can surely only be a matter of time until a manager is able to review an offside decision that leads to a goal being either allowed or disallowed. As far as I can tell, the only argument against the introduction is the amount of time it would take to review the incident. With the quality and speed of television replays, I’m convinced this is a moot point. In fact, it’s probably quicker than having to deal with the player protests. I initially wanted to write in to say how proud I felt of all the Saints players having battled back from 2-0 down, but then I got angry at the perceived injustice and now…and now…and now I’m crying again. Harry, Manolo is my middle name, Devon …Ultimately the most frustrating element of the game was that Saints turned up, put in our best performance of the season and somehow still lost. As alluded to in 16 conclusions, there was a certain inevitability about the whole thing and the metaphor that kept running through my head was we’re the nice guy and nice guys never win. While we were busy doing everything right, winning possession, corners, shots with high energy and style. United were behind the bike shed having a fag, with their feet up before Zlatan strolls in stage right, grabs the girl and rides off into the sunset. Sometimes there is just no substitute for style. I could go on to write several points about how sh*t the ref was, but ultimately when you consider how many errors a professional player makes, it’s inevitable that the officials make a few as well. The fact that this was goal number eight that has incorrectly been given as offside in United’s favour this season is neither here nor there. Instead I want to draw attention to an incident that yet again, by being the nice guys, shows how we shot ourselves in the foot. Mid way through the second half, Lingard tries to hack down Redmond to stop a break. Through his own ineptitude at fouling, Redmond is only clipped and just about stays on his feet, we get advantage and the games carries on. It’s a small footnote quickly forgotten. If Redmond does what about every other player in the league would do and goes down there, it’s a 10000% a second yellow and an early bath for Lingard. Against 10 men with the momentum behind us, I think we go on to win the game. For me that was one of the key moment of the final. Diving is a blight on the game, but decisions like that where a clear foul occurs explain why the risk/reward balance completely favour a player diving or going to ground. There is simply little tangible reward for staying on your feet and everything to be gained as shown by Herrera trying to get Romeu sent off by play acting the slightest touch with all United players gathering around the ref. Tom Saints (Matt Le Tissier is an absolute legend, loved his indignant rage at half time) Don’t forget Sol ‘He might just be the best free transfer in Premier League history.’ I know he’s a bit of a d**k now but are we seriously discounting Sol Campbell and his achievements? One of the best English defenders of the modern era leading the Invincibles to a level never reached again. Monumental for multiple title wins and the best defensive run in Champions League history. Zlatan is incredible but he still has some way to go before he can be mentioned as the best free transfer in league history. Also, despite the incorrect offside decision being ‘simply a bad call’, is it any wonder why the reaction to it has been so emotional and visceral given the importance of the first goal in cup finals? Add to that that this is definitely not the first offside call that has gone in United’s favor this season (seriously, how many times is that now this season?) and that this was the biggest match in over 40 years for Southampton, you really have to give Claude Puel massive credit for not having a bigger moan post game. They were much the better team, played some lovely football throughout the match and were somewhat unfairly rewarded by an inept refereeing performance. Falooda in NY Non-cup final weekend thoughts * Remember Cesc Fabregas? He started only his sixth game of the season on Saturday, and was ridiculously good. When Chelsea expect to face a packed defence, he has to play. * At Selhurst Park, Aitor Karanka found himself with only one healthy full-back, so he went 3-5-2, which would have been fine if 1) 32-year-old Stewart Downing didn’t have to play wing-back; 2) Daniel Ayala didn’t have to play wide central defender; 3) they weren’t up against a team that attacked at pace on the wings. The first half was a trip to Ibiza for the hosts, and Boro’s lack of firepower meant they couldn’t take advantage of a shaky Palace right side. * Right now the most underrated player in the league is Ben Foster. He’s played a lot of second fiddle in his career, but this year he looks like lead singer and guitarist, and someone in charge should be wondering whether he should start ahead of the Chin in Turin. * For those of us who love the glorious sport of manager-watching, Saturday was El Clásico: Walter Mazzarri vs. Slaven Bilic. Mazzarri opened the scoring with a clinical afraid-to-watch-the-penalty back turn, but afterwards relied too much on his usual repertoire of disgust and exasperation. Bilic equalized in the second half by nearly drilling a hole in the fourth official’s chest with finger pointing, then seemed to have put the match away with repeated over-the-top refusals to believe his side hadn’t been given a penalty. But Mazzarri rallied with some surprisingly subtle tightly-balled-fist action, and sealed the draw with a perfect one-time smash to the dugout wall. * Lee Grant of Stoke City has got the Le Sulk look down pat, and given the way Ryan Shawcross played yesterday, it’s no wonder. P.S. Say it very quietly, but I think Jon Moss is becoming a decent referee. * Anyone else here looking forward to the Chelsea – Manchester United quarterfinal? Peter G, Pennsylvania, USA Thoughts on Chelsea v Swansea – There have been real days when I’ve felt, ‘you know what, I’d be ok if we sell Hazard this summer (of course for a sum near Bale’s fee or likely more)’. Those are the days when for a few minutes he’d put a performance to match Messi at his heyday but inevitably be uninterested or showing some flashy dribbles without ruthlessness in the remaining time. Saturday epitomized Eden Hazard. At times he was unplayable, other times he wasn’t playing. Come on Eden, be more ruthless. Be the person you’re meant to be. – That said Fabregas had a 10/10. Comfortably his best performance in a Chelsea shirt. What was striking was he played two roles. Before Matic’s introduction, he took turns with Kante to be a box-to-box and some of his runs were Lampard-esque. The best part is Cesc boasts technical skills Lamps never had! Once Matic came, he did the Pirlo role, something I’d implore Conte to try out more often. – But the real point is the evolution of Fabregas as a player. I’ve seen him in his Arsenal (and to a lesser extent Barcelona days), he had those phases of insane assists+goals and then vanishing towards the end. Over the course of this season, Antonio has slowly but steadily changed Cesc. For starters, his positioning is top class now, he no more gets caught upfield. He knows when to press, when to tackle, when to drop back and stop an opponent’s passes. Not at the level of Makelele or Kante, but definitely far improved to what he was before. There was only one thing lacking in Fabregas’ game – tactical discipline. And now he’s winning Conte by improving on it. I shudder to think what would happen must he continue and succeed in this path. – That brings me to Kante. I’ve stressed this a million times since summer window. Again, the signing of the summer all over the world. 30m is peanuts in the market for Kante. The best part is he’s not a commodity. There’s only one piece of such a player and that is N’Golo Kante. The only other version is retired and now coaches at Swansea. He’s omnipresent in the pitch. Unassuming guy by nature. What a player! Thank you for choosing Chelsea Kante. It’s indeed a previlage to watch you play. Another 10/10 performance. – On the game itself, there’s a small issue with Chelsea. Conceding headed/set piece goals is the symptom. The real issue is that our back five is still a temporary stitch on a torn cloth than a proper fabric itself. Our back 3/5 is makeshift at its best. We have players playing out of position. The only thing keeping it going is some black magic by Conte creating the synergy. Moses is defensively suspect. For all his improvements, he simply does not have that defensive instinct to read danger, especially in far/back post or when marking a forward. Alli’s two goals, this goal by Llorente are examples. Azpilicueta on the other hand is limited by height. More than saying Chelsea suffer in long balls crossed, the actual issue is to (a) stop the source, crosses/not giving free kicks and (b) fix the defense in the summer. – I was one of the first (coincidentally along with F365) to point out how Pedro is under rated. Forget about his contributions this season in terms of goals and assists, but since he joined us, Pedro has always been willing to run, press, work hard as long as he stays on the pitch. His commitment and desire has always been minimum 100%. And I’m so glad to see him reap the rewards for his commitment. He’s a phenomenal player and any day more intelligent than Willian. He does Kante’s job up field every time he’s on the pitch by winning ball back or harassing opponents. Add to it he has a brilliant off the ball run and finish. Another 8/10 performance. – Jose recently whined (he’s doing a lot isn’t he?) about how Conte’s Chelsea play like how his teams of prime did. There’s merit in his argument that our inherent strength is still to bully or counter attack to score. However, Conte has started something else also, which was appreciated by Pep recently and was evident last night. For the first time in Abramovich era, Chelsea have a structure to attack/defend. Our build up (which Pep appreciated) has been very sophisticated. We try to build from the back with movements and patterns that Conte has imbibed from day one. This is only a start and give Conte a few years (hopefully) and Chelsea’s play would have changed big time. Evolution is a slow process and what I’m seeing now is only good. From Thibaut whose passing has definitely improved to our defenders and midfielders, there’s a structure and plan about how to keep the ball and attack spaces. Take Cahill out and put a better defender and our performances in big games will be much better. Aravind, Chelsea fan Hull have a home ground disadvantage Here in my place of employment in Oz, we have a Hull native on our shift. For that reason, even before the appointment of Marco Silva, I have always had an interest in how “Ool” are travelling. I have watched a few of their games this season, but against Burnley the other night, I was struck by the poor condition of the pitch. I realise most of today’s pitches are amazingly good compared to the old days, yadda yadda yadda, but if Hull stay up it will be in spite of their home ground, not because of it. I am not saying that Burnley did not deserve their point by any means, but that surface has to be working against the type of football Silva is trying to get them to play. Some passes turned more than a Shane Warne wrong’un. There must have been a record number of games of ‘head tennis’ played out during the match, not from lumped clearances, just from balls bouncing all over the place. It has been shown here in Australia that any time a pitch is used for anything other than football, it more or less ruins it for football, I suppose it’s sort of hard to believe that it happens in the Premier league. Jeff Sims, Australia The post Man United fans admit they were sh*t but… appeared first on Football365.

[daddychims]

Offside pt 14

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14

Series Masterlist!

Genre: Smut, Soccer AU, College AU

Pairings: Soccer Player! Jungkook X Sports Trainer! Reader

Word Count: 2k

Other BTS members all make a cameo as well because I’m an OT7 Trash!

You work as a sports trainer, providing basic first aid and injury management for the Hanguk University’s soccer team. Going with your mundane life of caring for the dozen of guys hurting themselves in the soccer game takes a turn when one of the guys catches your eyes. It’s not his breathtakingly good looks or his muscular athletic body usually seducing girls at the campus that catches your eyes. But the action plan in your kit, indicating he is diagnosed with Asthma is what draws your eyes time and time again to the Golden Boy of Hanguk University.

Warning: Slow burn, eventual smut, Taehyung being a freaking tease the whole time, Also Jimin not letting the female MC live for one day, Fuckboy!Jungkook, Asthmatic! Jungkook , mentions of episodes of Asthma, Take your Ventolin kids, Take your medications kids!

P.S. Need to add a new category to my warnings, Author is a tease! 

You just stay frozen on your spot as the guy moves his lips smoothly on yours, before pushing you back on the bed and hovering over you. A small gasp leaves your lips and you pull away looking at him with lost eyes

“J-Jungkook-“

“Should I stop?” He asks raising an eyebrow, pupil diverting back and forth between your eyes and your lips “Hmm? You want me to stop?” He asks, his voice tinted by a mixture of lust and plea

You part your lips, but nothing leaves your lips, so he takes your silence as a sign to press his lips against yours again while his hand roams under your shirt and explores your flesh with his cold hands.

You close your eyes, diluting yourself in the feelings and forgetting everything around you for a moment. So what, maybe you should just give in and try his Golden Reputation, he may be able to blow off some of that end of semester stress and be a good fuck. Your hands travel up  to grip on the silky dark brown strands of his hair when the familiar tune of your phone jolts your right back to the reality. Shit

“Jeon,” you pull away from his lips and push against his chest “my phone-” you struggle to form the words “my phone’s ringing.”

Jungkook looks at you with hooded eyes, staring at your lips for a few seconds, lips parted and gasping for the air he deprived himself while indulging on your lips. He pauses a few moments, staring into your eyes as if he's waiting for you to just dive right back into what you were doing but when you shift against his body he finally sighs and moves away from you, puffing the air out of his chest in annoyance.

You quickly fix your shirt and fish for your phone in your bag, gulping nervously when you see the name on the screen

“Joon,” you call as you press the phone against your ears “Whats up?”

“What took you so long?” He shouts through noise in the background

“S-Sorry, I- I was busy with something,” you stutter biting the corner of your lips, hoping your bestfriend doesnt pick on your disheveled state 

“Busy?” He asks in an offended tone “Don’t tell me you forgot.”

“Forgot wha-“ your eyes wander around the room and stop on the soccer poster on the wall “OH MY GOD, I’m so sorry!” you quickly shift on the bed, scrambling to get your stuff, ignoring the way Jungkook’s eyes follows you with curiosity 

“Seriously Y/N?” Namjoon whines “I literally had to move all my stuff around all week just for this and you forgot!”

“I’m sorry Joon,” you mumble in an anxious tone “are you done with practice? I’ll be there in half an hour-“

“I’ll pick you up,” he offers and the alarms in your mind immediately starts ringing as you look at the guy across you

“NO- y-you must be tired, I’ll go there myself!”

“It’ll be easier for me,” he suggests “Where are you? We’ll get dinner on the way too.”

“I-I’m at …” your gaze wanders around before finally making eye contact with Jungkook “I’m at Jeon’s place.”

You watch as the corner of Jungkook’s lips curls into a small grin and your furrow your eyebrows, trying to figure out what made him so happy all of the sudden when you hear the metal locker shut closed over the phone and you jolt on your spot.

“Jeon?” Namjoon asks with a deeper voice “Jeon Jungkook? Hanguk's Jeon Jungkook?”

“Y-Yeah,” you confirm nervously

“What the hell are you doing in his house this late at night?”

“Nothing,” you quickly interject “We’re just working on something together- “

“Dude, OH MY GOD,” he freaks out over the phone and your shoulder slump in confusion “I’ll pick you up in 10 minutes. just pick your bag and get out of there,” Namjoon quickly suggest as you hear him fiddle with his stuff over the phone “RIGHT NOW!”

“Fine!” you pout before adding "See ya!" you say in a small voice and hang up the phone

You quickly grab your phone and climb down Jungkook’s bed when he stops you by holding your arm and you turn around.

“Where are you going?” He asks with an annoyed tone

“Oh,” you quickly realise that you forgot to explain so you quickly mutter “I had a thing with-with Joon and I totally forgot. He’s gonna pick me up in a second- “

“what thing?” He raises an eyebrow looking at you with interrogating eyes

“I’m helping him with something,” you explain “Why?”

“Just-“he shifts his gaze away as his tongue pokes to his cheek “Is he gonna bring Park Jimin along again?”

“What? No!” you immediately reject his hypothesis

“How would I know?” Jungkook raises an eyebrow “Last time you said you blocked him but I found him grinding on you in Casa!”

“I- We didnt-“ you blush as you quickly shift your bag on your shoulder, trying to form a cohesive sentence 

“don’t forget,” Jungkook warns as he stands up, his face now level with yours as he leans over to you “We have a deal, if I see you with him again, I’ll start smoking again.”

“Fine,” you nod and suddenly remember the reason you were in that room with him all over again “take your medication okay? I’ll check the dosage next time.” You instruct as a tint of red starts creeping on your cheek "Dont forget the difference, they're not like your puffer!" 

"I dont think I'll ever forget that!" He smirks in response "Thanks to your comprehensive instruction!" he wiggles his eyebrows 

"Okay!" you feel your face melting from the heat "I gotta go-"

“when are you coming over again?” he asks with a smirk

“I’ll let you know,” you suggest with an uncertain tone, wanting to get out of that room as soon as possibile 

“Alright,” he nods with a smirk “I’ll wait for your call then.”

You nod and turn around but before you leave you remember the nicotine gums you’ve received from Dr Kim and you quickly take them out of your bag “This is for you,” you hand them to him “I got them from Dr Kim-“ you pause as his expression hardens and you immediately add “Of course I didn’t say I got them for you.”

You watch as he relaxes and reaches for them "whats this?"

“Nicotine gums, they’ll be helpful when you're starting to quit smoking, give it a go.”

He stares at the box in his hand before bringing his eyes to you, this time his eyes containing a different tint of emotion. Like a lost deer looking for his way in a really large forest and you gulp as you feel your heart thrumming against your chest watching those eyes. You realise right there and then that you're not to be trusted with your judgement when you're with the guy alone. 

“I gotta go,” you quickly suggest as you turn on your heels and leave him behind.

-

“What are we eating-” you ask with an excited tone, sparing a look at your best friend but the glare he shoots your way immediately dries your excitement and you bit yours lips turning away and looking out the window

“Sure,” he scoffs “avoid me all you want, we can have this conversation at home in front of Jiwoo,” he pauses and you immediately jolt around to face him as he continues “maybe she’d be interested to know you’re fucking Hanguk’s Golden Dick too!”

“JOON!” You gasp, blood rushing to your cheeks “I’m not f-fucking him.”

“You stuttered,” he points out like he finally caught you “How far did you guys go before I called huh? Foreplay? Did you suck his dick?”

“Nothing,” you raise your voice defensively “I was just teaching him his medications.”

“Of course,” he rolls his eyes and brings his eyes back to the road “How long has it been since your last break up?”

At the mention of your dating life you immediately scowl “We’re not talking about my dating life-“

“Yes the fuck we are,” he nods determined “It’s been a year and you haven’t fucked a single person since,” he explains like he’s explaining cell reproduction and not your sex life “and now you’re so sexually frustrated you’re about to ruin your life by fucking the most famous fuckboy in your campus.”

“I AM NOT OH MY GOD,” you raise your voice “why are you all convinced I’m fucking someone?”

“Then it’s not just me,” Joon furrows his eyebrows “As your best friend, I'm offended. Who was the smarty pants noticing earlier than me?”

“Joon, women are different,” you explain in an exasperated tone “We don’t have to get our coochie wet every living second of our lives. We function differently to you guys.”

“Keep lying to yourself darling,” he scoffs with a mocking tone “Won’t be long enough before Mr Golden Dick pounds you so good you see stars, and the next minute you call me crying in the middle of the road telling me how you fell in love with fuckboy. Don’t tell me I didn’t warn you.”

“Okay fine,” you finally give up “he made some moves-“

“some?” Joon raises an eyebrow “elaborate? How many times?”

“I don’t know, a few times but nothing serious,” you reassure “this is all because of Dr Kim’s homework and me helping him with his asthma. That’s all!”

“I told you before, he’s infamous for luring girls in,” Joon starts his little lecture again and you sigh “he also likes the challenge!”

“I know, I’ve been working in the same soccer club as him for two years, he's not the only one either, they all love a bit of banter with literally the only girl other than the 50 years old secretory in that club,” you reassure him “don’t worry Joon! I got this!”

“Okay fine,” Namjoon finally sighs in agreement “In the next couple of parties just hang around me and the SNU guys, if he notices you’re not interest he will get bored and go with stick to his chicks soon enough.”

“Noted grandpa.” you nod in an annoyed tone

“What the hell is he playing at?” Namjoon asks rhetorically as he spares a look at you “you’re not even his usual type!”

“Wow,” you smile bitterly at his remarks, not knowing why you're slightly hurt by the fact that you're not Jeon's type “I’m flattered Joon.”

“I don’t mean it in a bad way,” he rolls his eyes “I mean he’s frat boy, he’s not into commitment.”

“And?” you raise an eyebrow

“Wasn’t that why you broke up with Min Yoongi?”

At the mention of his name you immediately frown and mutter “what are we eating again?

He immediately notices your displease with the topic of your ex-boyfriend and mutters “Jimin’s at my place cooking! He said he’s gonna do Indian tonight”

“WHAT?”

“I said,” he pronounces the words clearly “Jimin’s at my place cooking. He offered to cook seeing how stressed I was about you being late.”

“Why did you invite him?” you scold “God, why do you do this to me?”

“Whats your problem with Park?” he furrows his eyebrows “He’s a good guy, he also likes hanging out with you so you don’t need to third wheel me and Jiwoo.”

“JOON,” you call his name in a frustrated tone “The person you should be worrying about is not Jeon, but the one is right under you nose.”

The car comes to a halt and Namjoon turns the key to turn the car off in front of his house “What do you mean?” he asks with a lost tone

“You’re clueless, aren’t you?” you sigh but before you can explain to him a knock on the car window brings catches both of your attention and you see Jiwoo standing against the driver’s window.

“You’re late!” Jiwoo declares as both of you get out of the car

“Someone forgot our dinner plan tonight!” Joon rolls his eyes and walk ahead of the two of you to open the door to his apartment

Jiwoo quickly runs to you and tangles her hand into yours as she murmurs “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah,” you smile “he’s just grumpy I forgot our plan. Did you wait long?”

“No, got here just now,” she smiles in response “thanks for coming, otherwise I would have had an awkward conversation with Hoseok, When I say I'm coming out with you, he never asks me more.”

“You haven’t told him yet?” you ask with a concerned tone

“Not yet,” she shakes her head “I’ll wait after the games, I’m scared the shock will throw him off his track for the games.”

“What if he knows after they lose in the finals to SNU?” You joke with curious tone “not only he loses the game, he loses his sister to SNU too!” you laugh as you imagine the evil scheme you portray

“Laugh at my misery all you want,” Jiwoo pouts “I’ll take my revenge when finally one of the Hanguk’s fuckboys breaks your heart.”

“In your dreams!” you stick your tongue out and you both laugh as you enter Joon’s house

Upon entering the house, you quickly make your way to his bathroom to wash your hands, deciding to leave the couple to their own for a moment.

As you expected Joon sealed the deal on the night you guys went to Casa, when he drove Jiwoo home and asked her out on the same night. To your surprise the two went along really well, especially since you wondered the age gap and the fact that the two may not have a lot of interests in common may become a hurdle.

But Jiwoo has been calling and texting you every night, freaking out about how sweet your best friend is and why you didn’t introduce him to her earlier on. If only she knew the reason behind your hesitation was the fact that his brother knows any day the first person, he’ll scold will be you.

You’ve known Hoseok and Jiwoo longer than you started working in Hanguk’s soccer club. Perhaps because he was always present in the same games that you always went to cheer on Joon, playing in the opponent's team. Thats how you started hanging out with Jiwoo, since she was always the other girl coming to the 90 minute games to cheer on her brother. 

You’ve heard from Jiwoo that Hoseok has a weird competitiveness with Joon, not in a negative of course. The two challenged each other and became each other’s pacemaker in the field and that’s why the finales always ended up with the two teams they lead playing against each other.

Knowing that, you were apprehensive about introducing Jiwoo to Joon considering he showed interest way earlier than you actually put some action in. but that was because you were scared that you may break the synergy between Joon and Hoseok by bringing a girl who they care about between the two.

You are already dreading the day Hoseok finally becomes aware that the two are going out and you’re the reason behind this whole thing.

You sigh and reach for the bathroom’s doorknob, twisting the metal to open it but the door opens from the other side unrevealing a half naked guy, the towel loosely hanging on his lower body as he stares at you.

“Hey,” He calls, the side of his lips curling into a small smirk while he rest his hand on the doorframe, flashing his body which resembles the old Greek Gods.

"Park Jimin!"

You gulp as he wraps his arms around your waist and pull you firm and close against his body as he murmurs “Is this the night where I finally get to taste some of your Placebo Effect?”

[daddychims]

Offside Pt 11

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11

Series Masterlist!

Genre: Smut, Soccer AU, College AU

Pairings: Soccer Player! Jungkook X Sports Trainer! Reader

Word Count: 2k

Other BTS members all make a cameo as well because I’m an OT7 Trash!

You work as a sports trainer, providing basic first aid and injury management for the Hanguk University’s soccer team. Going with your mundane life of caring for the dozen of guys hurting themselves in the soccer game takes a turn when one of the guys catches your eyes. It’s not his breathtakingly good looks or his muscular athletic body usually seducing girls at the campus that catches your eyes. But the action plan in your kit, indicating he is diagnosed with Asthma is what draws your eyes time and time again to the Golden Boy of Hanguk University.

Warning: Slow burn, eventual smut, Taehyung being a freaking tease the whole time, Also Jimin not letting the female MC live for one day, Fuckboy!Jungkook, Asthmatic! Jungkook , mentions of episodes of Asthma, Take your Ventolin kids, Take your medications kids!

You watch the three guys who are standing at three corners of the table, chalking their cues as they have the most intense stare battle of their life. The girl sitting beside you offers you a cigarette which you reject with a forced smile but quickly grab one of the bottles of beer that is sitting idly on the table and press it against your mouth to take a sip.

"So what's the bet of the night," Jimin asks, gaze travelling between the two guys "Don’t tell me you called me here without a bet."

"Of course not Park," Taehyung scoffs "I've got a good one for now. "

You furrow your eyebrows when he shifts his gaze to you, and you immediately choke on your beer staring between him and the two other guys "W-What?" You ask defensively

"The bet's on you, Sugar!" Taehyung offers and Jungkook nods confirming his words

"W-What?" you ask with lost eyes "What do you mean?"

"Whoever wins this game will get to drive you home!" Taehyung declares firmly as he glances back at Jimin

"Ooh creative," Jimin smirks "I like that!"

"Wait no," you quickly stand up to object "Joonie said he'll will be drop me off-" you turn around to have a look at the table where you last seen Jiwoo and Namjoon but your voice trails off as you find out about your bestfriend's betrayal

"They left the place 10 minutes ago," Jungkook states looking at you "While you were too busy …" he points at the table Jimin was grinding on you earlier and your cheeks turn red immediately

"I can get home on my own." you declare 

"Joonie Hyung will probably kill me if he knows I didn’t take you home," Jimin immediately rejects shaking his head "Also where is the fun in that?

"Am I here to entertain you?" You ask in disblief

"We're set," Jimin ignores your question as he looks at the other two

"Hey Hey," You call as you as you walk closer to the table "but I have a condition." The three of them nod in union and you're surprised that for the first time you see them agreeing on something. "You'll drop me at my place," you glance over Taehyung to Jungkook as you add "No funny business," you then bring your eyes to Jimin "No messing around!"

"Can I get a complementary neck massage?" Jimin raises his hand as if he's asking for permission with an excited tone

"Park," you sneer at the guy and he immediately laughs in response

"Fine, " Jimin replies before looking at the two other guys "I'm calling dibs on 10-15."

"That’s not fair," Taehyung pouts "13 is my lucky number!"

"You should work on your speed if you don’t want your things taken!" He smirks before pointing at you 

"Park," You hiss realising the "things" he's mentioning is a metaphore for you "I'm standing right here!"

"Sorry babe," he sends a wink your way "Just trying to teach the kids some life lesson here!"

"You better watch your mouth," Taehyung hisses "before I stick that cue up your ass and teach you a life lesson!"

"Ooh didn’t know you're into toys," Jimin laughs "Is that your way of compensating for your 3 seconds stamina?"

Taehyung is about to jump over the table to throw a punch when Jungkook finally speaks up

"Lets get this over and done with," he glances at Taehyung in an attempt distract the heated guy "1 to 5 or 5 to 10 Tae?"

"1 to 5," Taehyung replies through gritted teeth

"Alright!" Jungkook nods as he sets the small balls in the triangle before lifting the case up, the balls organized in a triangle ready for the game to start

You watch as Taehyung lean over the table, throwing a glare at Jimin across the table before breaking the balls.

"Nice shot!" Jimin compliments with a mischievous smile

Taehyung smirks as he walks away changing his angle, aiming for the number 13 which belongs to Jimin. As the cue hits the ball, it starts dancing around the table but misses its path into a pocket.

"Not so lucky hey," Jimin smirks as he watches Taehyung's defeated expression "What does it even stand for? 13 … 13 seconds?" he pauses as if he discovered something brilliant in his head "Is that the most you lasted boning someone?"

Taehyung clenches his jaw watching Jungkook walk past him, brushing an arm over his shoulder to calm him "Its for the time your dad lasted when he made you!" Taehyung spits back in response 

Jimin's expression immediately hardens and he's about to charge towards the guy when you quickly intervene 

"Hey, Hey," you scold as you knock on the wooden surface of the table "you two stop fighting right now!"

"He started!" Taehyung points at the guy across the table with a pout, as if he's wrongly accused 

“I don’t have all night for you two to fight,” you cross your arms across your chest, putting an end to their pointless banter “Now do you wanna continue playing or should I call Joonie?”

You don’t miss how Jungkook’s lips tug into a faint smile as the two guys pout in union like two kids scolded by their mom

“I guess I’m playing next!” He offers looking at you before leaning down and play his turn

The rest of the game goes on not much different than it started, Taehyung and Jimin constantly bickering while Jungkook silently plays, all his attention on the balls he scores in the holes one after another.

You can’t help but notice his familiar tactic he always uses on the field. Barely wasting any time to bluff or bicker with others but ends up owning the game in the end. And of course, this game is no exception.

“I guess the hiatus affected your skills, Park!”  Taehyung smirks as he high fives Jungkook “Aren’t you losing too often?”

Jimin rolls his eyes at the remark “You speak as if you’re any better, 13 seconds!” " his mocks as he scores another point, crushing Taehyung's ego

You run your finger to your temple giving it a slight massage. It’s a headache to be in the same room as the three guys. They are at each other’s throat whether it is soccer or just playing a stupid game like billiard and they make everything seem like their lives are at stake if they don’t claim the throne. There is always an unnecessary amount of men ego floating in the air for everyone around them including you.  

You watch how Jungkook's slender fingers moved slowly caressing the edge of the table as he watches Taehyung and Jimin play to win over the second and third spot, reassured that he’s scored his throne already like always.

You have to consciously stop yourself from imagining how many girls those fingers may have broken into pieces to build the guy’s reputation as the Hanguk’s golden boy.

“Looks like I won’t be getting any placebo effect tonight!” Jimin finally brings his eyes to you from the game, a bitter smirk tugging on the corner of his lips

You gulp, not losing the double meaning of his words considering earlier he elaborated on how exactly he wanted to squeeze the placebo effect out of you.

“I guess life doesn’t always go your way Park!” Jungkook speaks up this time, as he places his cue on the table and grabs his jacket  looking at you “Ready to go?”

“Y-Yeah!” you stutter, looking at his piercing eyes fixed on you

“I’ll see you next week,” Jimin calls waving at you with a smirk “Save up some of your placebo effect for then,” he warns, his smirk faltering as his demeanour changes to a more stern one “Be a good girl and don’t use it all up yeah?”

“W-What-“ you ask with a confused tone but before you can receive your answer Jungkook grabs your arm and pulls you to the stairs behind himself.

“Bye Sugar!” 

You hear Tae’s voice behind you but Jungkook walks so fast that you don’t even get the chance to turn around and bid him goodbye.

“You don’t have to drop me off,” You finally pause when you’re both outside the building, reaching his car “I can just take a taxi!” you suggest

“Why? Are you disappointed?” He asks, bringing his annoyed eyes to you “Did you want Jimin to drop you off?

“What? No! Of course not-“

“We made a bet, I won, so get in!” He orders before opening the door to his side and getting in the car

You furrow your eyebrows, pulling the handle of the passenger side and getting in the car. You watch as they guy starts the engine and starts driving off the parking while he reaches in the dashboard and grabs a small pen shaped object and presses it against his lips. You heart starts drumming faster in rage as the smoke circles around his face like a halo and you realise, he’s vaping.

“Are you serious?” You blurt out without even thinking  

He glances at you before inhaling deeply on the device and exhaling it out skilfully “What?”

“N-Nothing …” you immediately retract, realising the last time you commented on his smoking habits, things didn’t go very well

“No go on,” he nods “What are you judging me for this time?”

“I said nothing!” You insist lowering the window to avoid inhaling the secondhand smoke

“Now what? Are you so upset that Jimin lost the bet that you don’t wanna talk to me?” He asks and you finally lose you patience

“I’m judging you for that vape,” you snap in rage finally looking at him “and no, I’m actually happy Jimin didn’t win the bet …” you blurt out and his eyes widen, momentarily meeting yours and you immediately regret your words

“Really?” he asks intrigued, puffing a substantial amount of smoke out of his lungs

“Y-Yes, but that’s not important …” you quickly interject “Are you seriously smoking AND vaping? Are you really that desperate for lung cancer?”

“I told you before, my lungs are already fucked, they were since I was like 2,” he replies through gritted teeth “this wouldn’t really make a huge difference anyways.”

“Fine,” you roll your eyes frustrated at his response “Just smoke until you choke and die!”

“As if you care!” he murmurs barely audible, but you immediately pick it up and look at him

“Really? So now I don’t care?”

“Well obviously grinding on Park is much more of a priority for you right now,” he scoffs in rage “considering how you managed to break our promise in like two days!”

“W-What … I did not-“

“Oh right, I should have known you’d play smart,” he nods with a mocking tone “you promised you’d block him but didn’t promise you wouldn’t fuck him!”

“Jungkook,” you interrupt, blood boiling from his accusation “I wasn’t planning on fucking anyone! He was only there because Joon brought him along.”

“and that was probably me humping him in a room full of people around,” He scoffs “If only Tae didn’t suggest the game-“ He immediately stops and goes silent, pressing the vape on his lips and inhaling deeply before puffing the air out in frustration “Whatever …” 

You sigh watching him for a few seconds “I don’t really get why you and Tae overact about Park?” you finally break the silence

“I don’t get why you always have to be around him!” he spits back questioning you instead “Is he really worth it? The guys is like barely 4 inches,” he says in an enraged tone “and if he’s sent you dick pics that show otherwise, I have to burst your bubble! there are rumours that he photoshops his dick all the time!”

“What- how …” you stutter, cheeks blushing with every word that he speaks” How is Jimin’s genital coming into this!”

“Because his dick somehow is significant enough for you to break the Hanguk’s code and betray your team!”  

"You're so fucking dramatic, Oh My God!"  You sigh in defeat and look away, hoping this torturous car ride that resembles an interrogation room comes to an end soon 

Meanwhile Jungkook presses his foot on the pedal and speeds up the car, exhibiting his anger in a way other than yelling at you. You finally release a sigh in relief as your house comes to view and you reach to  unbuckle your belt as Jungkook’s car comes to stop. You’re struggling with the clip when a small gasp leaves your throat as he turns over to you and hovers against your body

“Jeon-“

“Look, We had a deal,” he states sternly as he rests his hand on yours stopping your fiddle with the belt “I take my medications until the finals, you stay away from Park Jimin,” his tongue pokes to the corner of his cheek as he stares at you with a disappointed look “You can’t play dirty!”

“W-well if you actually listened to me-”

“Fine, tonight wasn’t your choice, I got it,” he nods in a frustrated tone “but next time you see that punk, you need to turn around and walk the opposite way, Alright?”

You want to agree with his suggestion immediately, its not like you’re dying to hang around SNU’s famous Casanova anyways. but your eyes glaze over the object in his hand and immediately you change your mind “This wasn’t part of the deal,” you mutter in a firm tone

“What?” he furrows his eyebrows looking at you

“If you’re gonna add conditions to our deal, I should add conditions too!”

“What condition?” He asks, a bit taken off guard by your sudden proposition

“No smoking or vaping till the games,” you reply with a stern tone “Or I wont promise I wont be hanging around Park.”

“What- “he scoffs in disbelief

“The medication will be more effective if you stop smoking!” You explain with a serious tone

“That’s what you want in return?” He asks with a lost tone

“Yes!” you nod determined

Jungkook gulps, a tint of amusement colouring his gaze on you. He rests his weight against your body in silence before unclipping your seatbelt and finally pulling away from your seat

“Fine!” he nods, avoiding making any eye contact with you

“Really?” your lips curve into a smile “you said it,” you raise your point finger at him “no going back on this! If I find out you’ve been smoking behind my back, our deal is gone okay?”

He finally glances at you, squinting his eyes as if he’s trying to figure you out “I said fine,” he mutters in a flustered tone “I don’t break my deals like someone!”

“Of course you don’t,” you roll your eyes at his remark “Thanks for the ride!” you turn around to leave his car as you add

“Wait,” he calls, and you turn around but immediately regret as he travels the space between you and cages you between himself and your seat again “This isn’t the only ride you can thank me for, you know!” he flashes a suggestive smirk 

“W-What …”

“If you want, I’ll let you ride me this time,” he traps his bottom lips between his teeth with a seductive smile “You just have to be a good girl and ask for it!”

“J-Jeon,” you speak up, trying to compose yourself against his seductive remarks “I said no funny business!”

“I’m sure it’ll be one hell of a ride,” He murmurs in a husky tone, eyes darkening in lust “Why don’t you give it a try?”

You blink rapidly, hating your drumming heart and the fact that you consider his offer for a second before finally muttering “Thank you for the offer,” you flash a fake smile “But this will be the last ride I ever had with you Jeon!” you then push him aside and open the door as you run towards your house, missing his final words

“We’ll see about that …”

Hey guys!

Hope you enjoyed this chapter, please like and reblog!

Love ya’ll! 

[daddychims]

Offside Pt 8

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8

Series Masterlist!

Genre: Smut, Soccer AU, College AU

Pairings: Soccer Player! Jungkook X Sports Trainer! Reader

Word Count: 2k

Other BTS members all make a cameo as well because I’m an OT7 Trash!

You work as a sports trainer, providing basic first aid and injury management for the Hanguk University’s soccer team. Going with your mundane life of caring for the dozen of guys hurting themselves in the soccer game takes a turn when one of the guys catches your eyes. It’s not his breathtakingly good looks or his muscular athletic body usually seducing girls at the campus that catches your eyes. But the action plan in your kit, indicating he is diagnosed with Asthma is what draws your eyes time and time again to the Golden Boy of Hanguk University.

Warning: Slow burn, eventual smut, Taehyung being a freaking tease the whole time, Fuckboy!Jungkook, Asthmatic! Jungkook , mentions of episodes of Asthma, Take your Ventolin kids, Take your medications kids!

Your hands hesitate over the doorbell for a few seconds before finally pushing the button and hearing the melodic sound echoing.

"Coming!"

You hear a familiar voice that is different to the person you expect would be behind the wooden door and your suspicion is confirmed when the door opens to reveal the half naked guy standing across you.

"Kim Tae?"

"Heyyyy Sugar," He smirks, immediately reaching across and grabs you by the waist to pull you to his bare chest "Did you miss me so much?"

"What are you doing here?" you push past him inside the house with an annoyed tone

"You don’t need to be so low key about it babe," he smirks as he wraps his huge arm around your neck and pulls you closer again "I'm sure you heard I moved in with Jungkook." he hesitates as he leans closer to your ear "Isnt that why you came here?"

"Where is Jungkook?" you roll your eyes looking around the unnecessarily huge place “Im here to see him.”

"Jeon?" Tae asks furrowing his eyebrows "since when you're interested in Jeon?" he stands against the door with his arms across his chest

"I just have a homework I need to do," You state turning around to face him "Now do you wanna call him for me or should I walk around your house and find him myself?"

"What homework?" He raises an eyebrow "If you're talking about the type of homework at least 5 other girls rock up here every week, his bedroom is down the hallway on the left."

"Your brain is really wired like that huh?" You ask in an unimpressed tone "I just wanna have a conversation with him, I'll just wait in the living room."

"He's at the gym." he replies walking past you

"Which one?" You ask quickly rushing after him and grabbing his arm to get your answer "The one down the road?"

"Upstairs!" he rolls his eyes "The gym is upstairs!"

"You guys have a gym in your house?" You ask in surprise

"Jeon does," He shrugs "Now do you wanna wait in my room sugar? I'll go call Jeon for yo-. "

"No thank you," You immediately object "Where can I find him?"

He points at the stairs with a vicious smirk and you nod and make your way down the hallway, walking past the room with the daunting memories of Jihyo's birthday night.  You remember how you almost turned to one of the girls Jeon boned in his senior year if you didn’t react quickly enough that night.

You shiver from the thought and walk up the stairs. When you stop and look up, your eyes widen at the sight of Jungkook sitting on a Lat Pulldown machine, with a girl straddling his lap.

You can only see the girl's back, specifically her purposely plump bottom spreading over Jungkook's lap.

You immediately look up at the guy who's staring back at the girl sitting across him, beads of sweat dripping down his thick neck, arm muscles flexing as he manipulates the weight up and down.

You gulp at the sight, immediately feeling a shiver running down your spine at the excessively lewd sight of the two.

You immediately regret not waiting downstairs and just letting Taehyung call him, his vicious smile now have a whole new meaning for you.

You're hesitating whether you should make your way down the stairs and pretend you've seen nothing when Jungkook's gaze stumbles on you and you make a momentary eye contact.

The weight snaps up with a  loud thud as he releases his firm grip, immediately standing up and making the girl across his lap fall over.

Your eyes widen as you immediately turn around and make your way down the stairs. You're bearly reaching to the bottom when you hear his voice

"Wait,"

You pause and try to think of a way to escape facing Jungkook when you hear another voice

"What happened Sugar?" Taehyung shows up from the end of the hallway and looks at your blushing face "Weren't you looking for Jeon? He's right there." he points up at the top of the stairs with a mischievous smile, knowing exactly what you observed on the second floor.

You return an angry glare to Tae before turning around and watching Jungkook walk down the stairs "Jeon, I was looking for you."

"Yeah I just saw you," he mutters nodding his head in a confused manner "Why did you run away?"

You watch the guy in disbelief, wondering if he is acting dumb or he actually is dumb enough to not know why you avoided the situation. 

"N-Nothing, I just thought you're busy, so didn’t wanna get in the way." you explain with an awkward smile "I can come back."

"No," he quickly objects "I'm not busy, Lets talk."

"Ooh, what is this tension I feel here," Tae smirks watching the two of you "Is something going on between you two?"

Jungkook clears his throat before reaching for your arm and muttering "Lets go."

You walk behind the guy without objection as you hear Tae in the background yelling "THAT’S NOT FAIR, YOU'RE COMING TO MY ROOM NEXT SUGAR ALRIGHT?"

You both ignore the guy's childish remark as you enter his room, Jungkook immediately closing and locking the door behind himself which makes you furrow your eyebrows in suspicion .

When he notices your reaction he immediately explains "There are quite a few people living here, I don’t want them to barge in."

You nod, placing your bag on his bed, setting your phone down on his mattress while you try to look for the item you came all the way here for.

"So why are you here?" He asks walking closer and sitting on the other end of his king sized bed

"I wanted to talk to you," you say while finally finding the green coloured journal and pulling it out of the bag "About this!"

You watch him spare a look at the journal, remembering the conversation you both had with Dr Kim the other day before scoffing and looking away from you "And I thought-" he pauses midway through his sentence before bringing his eyes to you and muttering "I already told Dr Kim that I'm not doing that."

"Jungkook you're being unreasonable," You scold in a stern tone "Its not like you'll lose anything by doing this. If anything this might actually help you perform better in the finale."

"It doesn’t matter," He sighs looking down at his knees "My lungs were fucked as long as I remember. Taking the medications doesn’t change anything."

"Are you really fine with being benched?" you ask softly

"I'm not gonna be benche-" he snaps back “Lets say I’ll be benched. Why does that matter to you anyways!?”

You stare back at him, the sudden question taking you off guard. Why does this matter to you so much. Why do you care if he’ll be benched because he doesn’t take his medication. You’re not even licensed and this is already far out of your scope of practice as a mere sports trainer for his team.

“I-“ You start the sentence before you think it through enough to complete it and immediately regret your decision “never mind,” you sigh stuffing the journal back in your bag "I just wanted to try my best." you say in an annoyed tone.

You quickly take the sachet full of the medications you received from the office reception earlier and place it in front of him on his bed "This is yours," you hesitated before adding "Up to you if you wanna take them or not, but if you changed your mind just let me know. If you decide that you wanna take the medications, I should check on you once a week and record your dosage intakes."

You pause for his response but after a few seconds of silence you sigh and shift on the bed to leave. You're about to climb down his bed when your phone lights up and attracts both you and Jungkook's attention.

"So when am I getting my next dose of neck massage Miss placebo effect?" -Jimin

"Maybe you can massage me somewhere else this time? ;)" -Jimin

You reach to grab you phone when Jungkook immediately reaches before you to read the text carefully.

"Hey, give me the phone back," You reach but the guy quickly hides it behind his back before staring right into your eyes

"I changed my mind." he states in a serious tone

"W-What?"

"Lets do this stupid journal or whatever it is," he said firmly "Instead I have a condition."

"Really?" He nods and your eyes immediately light up "What is the condition?"

"Block Park Jimin," he says through gritted teeth "No, I'll block him right now."

"J-Jungkook, What are you talking about?"

"If you block Park Jimin, I'll do the journal with you," He suggests " you can even check on my more than once a week if you want."

"You want me to block him?" you ask in a lost tone "Why?"

"Haven't you heard?" He clears his throat "We don’t let the anyone from Hanguk team hang around the SNU guys specially the girls. The fact that you're friends with Namjoon Hyung is already a massive issue."

"What?" you laugh "Is that a joke? I've never heard of such rule. How come no one ever mentioned that to me?"

"Its an unspoken rule," Jungkook says matter of factly "If anyone is involved with Hanguk team, they aren't allowed to hang around the SNU guys for the duration of seasonal games. Otherwise they might find out about our team tactics and strategies and that messes up our chance in the finals."

"I'm so confused," you blurt out looking at him in disbelief "so you're saying I would act like a whist blower and tell the other team about Hanguk team's training strategies?"

"I did not say that," he says defensively

"You implied it," you respond immediately

"I'm just saying, we all go weak after a good fuck and say things we might regret," he mutters unimpressed looking at you "so lets not risk it yeah?"

"I-I'm not fucking Jimin," you stutter "where did that come from?"

"I didn’t say you are," he says firmly "I'm just saying you might."

"S-So what If I wanna fuck him," you retort angrily "Aren't you all doing it anyways? Why is it only not allowed for me!"

"I simply choose my girls from our campus," he shrugs

"So if I shag anyone from our campus, its all good?!" you say mockingly

"It cant be that hard," he shrugs his shoulder "You have a whole football team to choose from, I'm sure Taehyung is not the one guy you give a boner to when you rub them in your duties."

"Jungkook-" you shudder at his lewd words "just stop talking please."

"Fine," he smirks watching your blushing cheeks, findings the flustered side of you amusing to watch "What do you say? Can I block him now?"

You look at him with suspicion before muttering "I'll check on you three times a week, plus the 2 training days I see you on the field."

"Fine," he sighs defeated "It’s a deal?" he brings the phone in front of him to continue with his task "What's your passcode?"

"W-Wait …" you reach for the phone hesitantly "I need to at least let him know-"

"No need," he rolls his eyes "he's probably texting 10 other girls simultaneously, he wont even notice."

"You must have a lot of experience," You raise an eyebrow as you enter your passcode and hand him the phone back

"Don’t compare me to that punk," he rolls his eyes "I don’t play girls."

"Oh really?" You scoff "I really hate to remind you but I just watched you dry humping someone in your gym, Jeon. What do you call that?"

"Incorrect, she was dry humping me" he replies unaffected "I was just doing my weekly arm workout."

"Wow," you shake your head in disbelief "you're something else."

He finally finishes his task, blocking Jimin from your phone before bringing his eyes to you "Why? Were you jealous?"

"W-What?" you laugh awkwardly thinking he's just messing around, but he just stares at you with his piercing gaze waiting for an answer "W-What do you mean?"

He shifts on the bed, closing the space between the two of you on the bed as he leans over to your face "Did you wanna be in her place?"

You look at him with wild eyes, not knowing why those words pool arousal between your legs. He stares into your eyes before shifting them to your lips and back to your eyes after a few seconds.

"Hmmm? Did you wanna hump my thighs like a dirty little girl?" he murmurs and his eyes darken in lust as he watches your lips quivering nervously against his lips "Is that what you want Y/N?"

You gulp, heart thumping against your chest as you feel another rush of arousal tainting your panties "J-Jeon-"

"You just need to ask nicely," He smirks, his hot breath fanning your lips "and you'll be over my thighs in a few seconds."

You stare back at him for a moment before finally pulling yourself together and muttering "I t-think we had this discussion before," you gulp trying to steady your voice as you quickly grab your bag and shift it over your shoulder "That I don’t wanna hook up with you."

You watch with surprise as his dark lustful eyes turn disappointed, but he quickly hides them by looking away from you and shifting back his body.

"I'll call you for the next weekly check, until then make sure you take the medications as prescribed."

You walk to his door and twist the doorknob but it doesn’t open. Only then you remember that he locked his door when you both entered the room.

You turn around to tell him to unlock the door when a gasp leaves your lips

"Jungkook," you breath out as he presses your body against the door and leans against your face again

"You sure?" he raises an eyebrow, his earlier dark gaze starting to settle back in between his lids again "that you haven't changed your mind since our last discussion?"

"I-oh" you part your lips but a breathy sound leaves your lips when you feel his hardness against your thighs and his smirk grows on the corner of his lips finally receiving the reaction he wants from you.

Hey everyone! Hope you're doing well!

I know its been SOOOO long since I updated this story!

but this self isolation is allowing me to get my life together and get back on some writing as well!

Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter!

I'll be back soon!

Love ya'll! 

[daddychims]

Offside Pt 10

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10

Series Masterlist!

Genre: Smut, Soccer AU, College AU

Pairings: Soccer Player! Jungkook X Sports Trainer! Reader

Word Count: 2k

Other BTS members all make a cameo as well because I’m an OT7 Trash!

You work as a sports trainer, providing basic first aid and injury management for the Hanguk University’s soccer team. Going with your mundane life of caring for the dozen of guys hurting themselves in the soccer game takes a turn when one of the guys catches your eyes. It’s not his breathtakingly good looks or his muscular athletic body usually seducing girls at the campus that catches your eyes. But the action plan in your kit, indicating he is diagnosed with Asthma is what draws your eyes time and time again to the Golden Boy of Hanguk University.

Warning: Slow burn, eventual smut, Taehyung being a freaking tease the whole time, Also Jimin not letting the female MC live for one day, Fuckboy!Jungkook, Asthmatic! Jungkook , mentions of episodes of Asthma, Take your Ventolin kids, Take your medications kids! 

"So what made you leave your house Y/n?" Jiwoo asks as he crosses her arms across her chest

"I'm just taking some time off studying," you sigh, shifting your gaze awkwardly "I deserve some fun in life don’t I?"

"Sure you do." She nods suspiciously as she interlocks his arms around your elbow as you both walk inside 

You sigh as you quickly take your phone out and send a combination of  soccer ball and field emojis to Namjoon as a metaphor for the fact that you have Jiwoo with you . He quickly replies with a couple of thumbs up and smiling emojis.

 If only the girl walking alongside knew the only reason you decided to leave the comfort of your blanket and the long list of unwatched series on your premium Netflix account is the fact that your best friend wants to get in her pants and you're helping him succeed in his plan.

You both enter the place, squishing through the masses of youth who are chatting and drinking in the huge bar.

"I don’t really get it," You look around, glancing over at least half of your campus scattered around the place "What's the hype about this place?"

"Of course you don’t get it," Jiwoo laughs, pinching your cheek "girls like you don’t belong here!"

"Thanks for pointing out that I suck at billiard." you roll your eyes

"That’s not what I mean," she chuckles at your remark "Do you know what is this place called?"

"Casa billiard?" you point at the massive billboard flashing the name

"Correct," she nods "and do you know what Casa stands for?"

"Isn't it a abbreviation of some sort?" You muse as you try to come up with one "Computer Automated System-"

"Wrong," she cuts your off "Its short for Casanova," she hesitates, watching your lost expression as she adds "This place is targeted at the fuckboys from the two campuses near here, Hanguk University and SNU!"

You sigh, secretly scolding your friend for bringing you and his crush to a fuckboy zone like this when you hear him calling for you.

"Joon, I'm here!" you quickly wave for him but the moment you see the person walking by his side, your hands tops moving in the air and you whisper an inaudible fuck under your breath.

"Hey, sorry I'm late!" Joon quickly offers as he leans closer to give you a quick hug

"That’s alright, We just got here!” you whisper, trying to avoid any sort of eye contact from the guy who's watching you silently behind Joon

"Hey I'm Namjoon," Joon extends his hand to Jiwoo and introduces himself " I don’t know if you remember me-"

"Of course I remember," Jiwoo flashes a big grin to the flustered guy "I should have known the only person who can make Y/N leave her room is you."

"Not an easy task but I have my ways," Joon shrugs with a wink when he suddenly remembers he hasn’t introduced the guy standing silently behind him "This is Jimin, we play soccer in SNU together."

You finally look at him and find him staring at you with a tiny smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.

"I'm Jimin," he flashes an innocent smile to Jiwoo, contradictory to the vixen he hides inside "Nice to meet you Nuna!"

"Jiwoo," your friend quickly replies "Nice to see you too Jimin!"

"And you remember Y/N right?" Joon adds as he pushes you forward

"Of course," He nods with a knowing smile "She's the angel who fixed my neck with a just a touch.” 

At his statement, both Joon and Jiwoo look back at you, searching for clarification from you. Your cheeks immediately rise in heat as you explain "I strapped his neck on the last game," you glare at the guy for the weird description he offered your friends "Are we just gonna stand here all night?" You quickly ask, trying to shift the subject from your first meeting with him

"Oh yeah," Joon quickly nods "Lets go get some drinks first and find an empty table!"

You offer to grab the drinks and before you can even object Jimin makes his way to help you, walking ahead of you to the bar.

"Hyung, give us four bottles of beer!" He waves at the bartender who gives him a quick wave and nods. He then rests his weight on the bar table as he turns to you "So do you wanna tell me why you've been ignoring me?"

"I-" you gulp nervously, not expecting him to be so direct "I don’t know what you're talking about!"

"You've been ignoring all my texts," He raises an eyebrow "And yesterday you blocked my number!" 

"I've been just busy! and you keep texting me so I had no choice!" you quickly reach in your bag and fish for your credit card to pay for the drinks when he holds your wrist and instead offers his own card to the guy

"How about I'll take this one like a gentleman," he suggest as he leans closer to you "And you unblock my number?!"

Your eyes hesitate on his for a few seconds, parting your lips to respond to his proposition when you hear your nickname being called

"Eeeyyy, Sugar!"

You turn around, flinching at the sight of Taehyung along with his housemate walking towards you "H-Hey …" your voice trails off as you see Jungkook walking closely behind him

"I didn’t know you're a Casa girl," Taehyung beams, eyes curling into a mischievous smile "I've never seen you here bef-Oh"

His smile immediately replaces itself with a frown as he watch Jimin appearing over your shoulder, pressing his chin on your collarbone

"Hey guys," Jimin waves at the two guys "Nice to see you out of the field for once!"

 You make a momentary eye contact with Jungkook who's standing beside Taehyung and his unimpressed eyes make you secretly wish you can just vanish from the face of the world right there and then.

 "Park, I didn’t know you still come to Casa!" Taehyung asks with a dry tone

"Its been a while since I came here," Jimin smirks, as he wraps his arms around your waist "I heard Joonie Hyung is coming here with Y/N, so I joined them for the night."

"You guys seem very close now huh?" Taehyung points out with a dark tone, glancing over you in an interrogating way

"Oh well, this is Casa after all," Jimin shifts closer to your neck as he shows off his proximity to the two other guys "This place is the union of Hanguk and SNU right?"

This time Jungkook speaks up as he places a hand on Taehyung's shoulder, almost as if he's trying to stop the guy from charging towards Jimin as he murmurs "The girls are here, lets go!"

Taehyung glances at you with a betrayed expression all over his face, nodding his head at Jungkook's words as he murmurs "See you later, Sugar!"

You sigh as you watch Jungkook completely ignore you as he turns around and leaves followed by Taehyung who appears colder than most days all of a sudden. 

"Lets go!" you murmur as you help grab a couple of the drinks off the bar 

"Hey hey," Jimin holds your arm and stops you "What's wrong?"

"I'm just trying to process how this night is going so wrong so fast." you reply in a defeated tone 

"Hmmm," Jimin furrows his eyebrows as he's trying to figure you out "So which one of them is it? Taehyung or Jeon?"

"What?" you ask in a lost tone looking at him "What are you talking about?"

"Which one of them is boning you?" He asks tilting his head to one side "Tae or Jeon?"

"None of them," you reply through gritted teeth "That’s all you can think about Isn't it!?" 

You sigh, annoyed at the guy who is clueless that his existence might have ruined the deal you  barely made happen with Jungkook.

You reach at the table where Jiwoo and Joon are already playing on, setting the drinks on the side as you watch them play together and chatting away in their own little world.

"Do you wanna play?" Jimin offers as he starts to chalk up his cue

“I’m not really good at this!" you shrug indifferent

"Not a problem," Jimin walks closer "I can teach you a thing or two if you want." he offers with a cocky tone

"How about I sit out instead and let you do your thing for the night?" You offer enthusiastically 

"How about you sit on my face instead for the night?" he murmurs leaning closer so only the two of you can hear her lewd words

Your breath ceases on its way out of your lungs and you need to take a moment to digest his words. He then immediately smirks as he notices your tense reaction so he gently massages your arm

"Relax, It was just a joke" he laughs as he murmurs "except if you're down to take it seriously!" he winks 

You sigh slapping his arm off your shoulder and walking away to grab a cue so you can at least look like you know the basics. You search for a chalk but realize that nothing's left so you turn around to grab some chalk from the counter when you find Jungkook playing with Taehyung and a couple of girl a few tables away.

He's leaning over the table, aiming his cue at a red ball but his eyes are locked at yours. You immediately pause in your footsteps, gulping nervously as he stares at you with his unimpressed eyes.

 His tongue pokes at the corner of his cheek as he hits the ball before standing straight up. You gulp, the swinging of the ball around the table resembling your trembling heart.

He then leans his head down, eyes never leaving yours, as he puffs the cigar one the girls is holding for him, the girl watching in satisfaction as the smoke covers around them before pulling him closer for a kiss.

Jungkook captures the girl's lips, eyes still wide open and locked on yours as he moves his head around skilfully to kiss her back. You feel your blood boiling at the sight of him ruining his lungs, and for some reason you feel like he's trying to actively piss you off. 

You immediately start to revise all the toxic substances and their damage on his lung in your head but soon remember that the last time you stuck you nose in his smoking business, you regretted it a lot.

You shift your gaze down, quickly walking past them to grab a cue and rush back to where Jimin is waiting for you.

"Took you quite long," Jimin smirks as he points at the table you paused over a few minutes ago "Anything exciting going on?"

"Nothing too exciting for you," you roll your eyes "The type of excitement you're into starts after 10 o'clock." you mock making a reference to the dance club downstairs that only starts after 10

"Your mouth I swear to God," he murmurs as he steps closer to you, eyes darkening in lust "I will put it to some good use one of these days."

"Well you’d have to wait until I text you back first Park!" you start chalking your cue watching him with a victorious smile

"Right," he nods, lips curving slightly on one corner as he turns around and leans over the table, hitting the ball he intended with a smooth movement of his cue, the ball dancing around the table a few moments before findings its way to a hole

"Nice," You acknowledge as he walks closer to you  "Were you planning to play billiard if soccer doesn’t work out?!"

"I rather play you if you ask me," His lips curve into a smile as he cages your body against the pillar you're resting on  "I’d have you spread all over the table and fill every single hole in your body with my balls!"

You gulp as a rush of arousal shoots between your thigh, eyes widening at the lewd description of the boy's fantasy involving you.

"Oh right!" he looks around as if he remembers something "You have to text me back first right?"

"Right!" you nod walking past him to lean over the table and play your turn

You flinch when you feel a warmth hovering over your  figure, arms wrapping around yours while lips dancing fairly close to your ears "I think you're lying, you're actually good at playing," he whispers seductively as he positions your arm around the cue, aiming your cue at one of the balls "Just like how you've been playing with my heart!"

"Get off!" you hiss, glaring at the guy whose face is only a few inches away from you "you're distracting me!"

"Relax your wrist a bit," he murmurs softly as he presses your arms "Now stare at the tip of your cue and line it up with the hole, not the ball!"

You gulp, his hot breath hitting the side of your neck and the intimately close space between the two of you making it hard for you to follow his instructions.

You finally retract your cue and hit the ball, so you can quickly get it over and done with. You're surprised when the ball makes its way in the hole indicating you scored on your attempt.

"Woah!”

"See? Who would have thought you're a natural," Jimin claps for you "You just need a good Master." he says, emphasising the last word with a knowing smile

"Of course I do," you scoff walking past him to grab the chalk 

"So are you gonna unblock my number or not?" He asks raising an eyebrow before pointing over at few tables away "Or are your Hanguk boys stopping you from hanging out with a SNU guy?"

Your eyes widen, like a rabbit caught in headlight, never expecting the guy to suspect that the reason behind the cold shoulders you've been giving him is your promise to Hanguk's Golden boy. 

"So they're possessive over their little healing angel huh?" He smirks as he steps closer, locking you between his body and the billiard table as he rests his hand on the side of your hip "They want Miss placebo effect all for their own"

You part your lips, heart thumping against your chest "J-Jimin,"

"That’s not fair," He pouts, hands reaching up to stroke the side of your neck "I wanna make you cum so hard, until you spill your placebo effect all over my tongue."

You gasp as you feel his hardness poking at your core but before you can react he's quick enough to lock your hip against on the table with his hand as he grinds his hardness on your centre.

"Hey Park!"

You watch Jimin's lips breaking into a wide grin as he stares at you, his eyes almost disappearing because of his victorious smile hearing the familiar voice calling his name.

"Hey Jeon," He turn his head around, without changing his position against you but allowing you enough view of the guy standing behind him "Can I help you with anything?" he asks with a teasing tone

Jungkook stares at you instead, completely ignoring Jimin's question for a few moments. Your cheeks heat up as you recieve his interrogating gaze dancing silently on you. 

"How about we play a round, Park?" he offers dryly, jaw clenching as he continues to watch you in Jimin's arms, tilting his head to the side as if he's trying to silently scold you just with his eyes "In the memory of the old days, you know!?" 

[watchingthesuperbowl]

Notes taken during Super Bowl II

This is the only one of my copies of the 51 Super Bowls that is radio-only. All observations are based on things I heard from CBS radio commentary, instead of things I saw with my own eyes.

PREGAME

CBS Radio announcers: Tom Hedrick (color) and Jack Drees (PBP)

Weather: 64 degrees, partly cloudy

Quarterbacks: Veteran Bart Starr, young Daryle Lamonica

Packers 13.5 point favorites

Commercial for Kool cigarettes, more than a minute long

Giant papier mache mascots on the field, 30 feet high

So I guess this was a thing.

Packers have exact same starting defense as Super Bowl I. Six Hall of Famers.

FIRST QUARTER

Raiders go three and out on first possession, gaining zero yards on a run and two incomplete passes. Not the sort of start that would have given them a ton of confidence.

For second straight Super Bowl, Packers start with three consecutive running plays. That gets them a first down, then they throw one pass before going back to the ground. On fifth play of drive, Ben Wilson looked like he was stuffed on 2nd and 1 but was able to stay on his feet for a yard and a first down.

Starr using long count, trying to get anxious, nervous Raiders to jump offside.

Drive stalls when intended receiver falls on first and ten, ball carrier slips on second and ten, and defense knows exactly what's coming on third and eleven. Packers kick field goal. 3-0.

Raiders lateral ensuing kickoff to Dave Grayson, who gets to the Oakland 25. An awful lot of risk for not much reward.

Oakland called for clipping, 16-yard penalty because it's a spot foul. Was 2nd and 6, becomes 2nd and 22. Packers let them out of jail on the next play when Ray Nitschke interferes with receiver.

Raiders trying to run sweeps and wide running plays, Packers not having it. Oakland punts from Packers' 48. Mike Eischeid puts it out of bounds at the Green Bay 3.

Green Bay goes to power run game to get out of the shadow of their own end zone. Wilson for 7, Anderson for 4. After Starr hits Dale for 17 yard gain, it's back to the ground. Wilson for 5, Anderson for 5, and the Pack is in business.

Starr breaks tackle on possible sack by Ben Davidson, scrambles for 14 yards. Starr was a surprisingly good scrambler.

Packer offensive line blowing through Raider defensive line on run plays. Lombardi gambles on fourth and inches, gets 5 yard run off tackle by Ben Wilson.

SECOND QUARTER

Packer RB Donny Anderson drops likely touchdown pass at Raiders' 10. Was alone, just flat dropped it.

Forget it, Donny, you're out of your element.

Next play: Raiders sack Starr for 11 yard loss. Anderson drop turned likely touchdown into third and 21. Pack settles for field goal. 6-0.

Green Bay scoring drive: 17 plays, 84 yards. Packers dominating, but haven't gotten to end zone yet.

A bunch of cigarette ads on my radio-only copy of this game. Very weird.

Oakland keeps trying to run wide, it keeps not working.

Three drives, three third-and-long chances for Oakland, two incomplete passes and a sack, three punts. It's only 6-0, but it doesn't feel close.

It's not 6-0 anymore. First play after the third Oakland punt, Starr to wide-open Dowler down the middle for 62 yard TD. 13-0. That seems like a more accurate reflection of where this game is.

Raiders running up the middle. It's working much better than wide rushing plays. 3rd and 1 instead of 3rd and long.

Oakland driving. Lamonica hitting receivers now. Finds Miller in traffic for 16, then later on the drive hits Miller again. Tightrope down the sideline for 23 yard TD. 13-7 now. Wildly pro-Oakland crowd in Miami, home of the AFL Dolphins.

Packers stuck inside 20 after kickoff, run stuffed on first down, Starr sacked on second down. Is Oakland on its way back into this game? Raiders down less than a touchdown with the Packers back to their own 5.

Packers punt, Oakland takes over on GB 40. This feels like a crucial drive. Oakland in position to take the lead late in the first half.

First play for Raiders: Sweep to Banaszak. Stuffed. Why are they still running sweeps? Radio PBP guy suggests it's to keep Packers honest. Seems like a weird position to worry about that. Do what works, score a touchdown, take the lead, and worry about honesty later.

After three plays get one yard, George Blanda in to try 47 yard FG. No good. Short. Willie Wood catches it on the 1 yard line for some reason, returns it to the 8. No idea what he was doing.

Packers running here, presumably trying to eat clock and go into the half with a lead. Three runs in a row by Travis Williams and it's 4th and 1. Packers to punt with 0:30 or so left in half.

It was particularly difficult to tackle Travis Williams when he went into “helium mode”, just sort of drifting through the air downfield. This, of course, was only a useful skill with the wind to his back.

Donny Anderson, your standard running back/punter, punts and Oakland's Rodger Bird drops a fair catch. Packers recover inside Raider territory with 0:23 left and they have an unexpected shot to extend lead.

Oakland runs ill-advised prevent defense, Starr goes underneath on third and 10, gets 9 to Dowler and puts them well within Don Chandler's range, particularly with wind at his back. 16-7 at the half.

HALFTIME

Radio interview with Pete Rozelle. Commish says "Oakland has been extremely impressive". Maybe it doesn't translate via radio, because it sounds to me like they're getting whupped.

Full speed ahead on NFL-AFL merger, next 18 months will work on alignment and scheduling issues for combined league.

Radio guys talking about Al Davis, that Raiders have six starters that they picked up on waivers and traded one of the best WR in the AFL, Art Powell, for unproven Lamonica. Oakland went 13-1. Seems to have worked out just fine. Powell, by the way, had exactly one professional reception after this game. Al knew what he was doing.

THIRD QUARTER

Packers go three and out to start the half, Raiders fumble second consecutive punt, but this time Oakland recovers.

First play of drive, OAK Dixon up the middle for 14. Once again, Raiders able to run between the tackles. Next play, Dixon goes wide and loses 2, as you'd expect. Lamonica throws another incompletion on another third and long.

Packers' second drive is classic Green Bay football. Run up the middle for 13, sweep for 8, run up the middle for 1, and then on third and inches, right when the defense is thinking run, Starr hits McGee for 35, down to the Oakland 25. I love this play calling. Brilliant stuff from Starr. The rest of the drive is nothing but passes and one draw play until they get to the Oakland 1, then Donny Anderson bangs it into the end zone. 23-7 Packers midway through the third quarter and Oakland's defense is on its heels.

Hey, more cigarette ads! These cigarettes have filters! They must be healthy!

Nearly a disaster on ensuing kickoff. Grayson runs into goalpost, fumbles ball, then falls on it for a touchback. Cue Yakity Sax.

Oakland's next drive: Incomplete pass, safety valve flare pass complete for zero yards, incomplete pass, punt. Oakland is running into the same thing Kansas City saw in Super Bowl I: If you fall behind and have to go one-dimensional against the Packer defense, you're donezo.

Starr goes for the jugular on first play of next drive. Goes deep to Dale, incomplete but gets defensive holding penalty. Afterwards, Packers drive downfield with clock-chewing runs and short passes and get yet another field goal. 26-7 at the end of the third quarter after Chandler doinks one off the top of the crossbar and it bounces through.

Did somebody say Doink?

Seems like Starr liked to go deep if he had a short-ish yardage situation. Third and inches, second and five. Situations in which if he didn't hit the bomb, it didn't kill the drive. I like that mentality a lot.

FOURTH QUARTER

Nothing is going Oakland's way. Lamonica hits Banaszak for 13 yards, then the receiver fumbles, Green Bay's Dave Robinson picks it up, and returns it inside the Oakland 40.

Starr fumbles on sack, but the play had been whistled dead. Crowd flips out, boos and is loud enough that Oakland players can't hear and jump offside. Doesn't matter, Packers have to punt after two incomplete passes.

First play: Raider receiver Billy Cannon wide open, may have scored if he had actually caught the perfectly-thrown ball. His third drop of the day. On the next play, Lamonica goes right back to Cannon, who catches this one for a 15-yard gain.

Raiders still moving the ball when they run up the middle, but they can't run very much. They need three touchdowns in 12 minutes. Wide runs still not working.

Stick a fork in this one. Herb Adderley picks off Lamonica and takes it back for a 60-yard touchdown. 33-7. Oakland now needs four touchdowns in less than 12 minutes against one of the greatest collections of defensive talent ever assembled. Good luck with that.

Raiders put together a nice drive. Hewritt Miller runs twice up the middle for ten yards, then a 41 yard pass to Banaszak, then Lamonica to Bill Miller for their second touchdown completion of the day. 33-14. Now Oakland only needs three touchdowns in 9 minutes against a team that's going to be burning as much clock as possible.

Bart Starr's day is done. Zeke Bratkowski in at quarterback for the Packers. He plays for the last nine minutes of the game and throws zero passes. Nothing tricky from Lombardi's guys, they're just running that clock.

After incomplete pass on 2nd and 5, Lamonica has completed 9 of 22 passes. Green Bay's defense is stifling.

Radio PBP guy suggests Raiders may fake a punt, down 19 points with 5 minutes left in the game. His ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to his newsletter. They do no such thing. They kick it away and Green Bay kills more clock. There's no drama left, just an obligation to play all 60 minutes.

We should fake a punt, down three touchdowns with five minutes left in the game, right?

Radio commentators going out of their way to talk about how great the Pro Bowl is going to be next week. You guys. It's the Pro Bowl.