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ovaryacted · 2 days ago

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GUILTY AS SIN || I. INTACTUM

─ General Marcus Acacius x fem! virgin! reader || WC: 11.1k

SYNOPSIS: Being the daughter of a Senator of Rome has it's pros and cons, you lived comfortably while constantly being reminded of your insubordinate position in society. However, upon meeting General Acacius, your life changes as you begin to grow fond of him. The question is, will he reciprocate your feelings, or cast you out to suffer your impending doom of unwanted courtship?

CONTENT/WARNINGS: MDNI/18+. NSFW. SMUTTY. Girthy age gap assumed [Acacius is canon age/reader is around very early 20s]. Explicit Language. Formal dialogue. Mentions of patriarchal norms & customs. Comments on prostitution. Food and alcohol consumption. Talks of virginity & sexual experience. Yearning & longing. Mutual pining. Budding relationship. Unintentional/intentional courting. Kissing. Thigh Riding. Praise Kink. Terms of endearment (dove, little dove). Reader has hair & wears dresses & jewlery. Marcus Acacius is a romantic & respects women. Not entirely historically accurate.

➣ Note: Reader's Father’s Name - Julianus Novius Lurio. Handmaiden name - Viria. Pictures are for aesthetic purposes only.

A/N: I truly did not mean to make this first part so long but it just happened, and I hope all of the work put into it is worth it cause I love this story lmao. Thank you so much to @pedgito for holding my hand and feeding into my delusions about the General, I am always grateful for your creative genius. Anyways, reblogs, comments, and likes are always greatly appreciated! <3

NAVIGATION | MASTERLIST | SERIES MASTERLIST | AO3

Rome shone as bright as a star in the night sky, her streets bustling with the sounds of trade and the footfalls of soldiers patrolling the great city’s stone roads. The rooftops were tinted with shades of gold, her wealth and opulence evident through every brick and weed of grass that touched the very ground of her sacred body. There is and will only be one Rome, and you were one of the lucky few to live and experience it in all of its glory.

You were blessed by the Gods to experience all of Rome’s treasures, bathing in the luxuries of fresh fruit and the finest silks. The gifts you’ve been given were all thanks to your father Julianus Novius Lurio, a sitting politician on the Roman Senate who has made a living by managing the exchanges of commerce throughout the city. No doubt a man of power, your father had made a name for himself amongst the other senators, growing close ties with several leaders and particularly, the generals of the Roman army. Of course, that included the formidable General Marcus Acacius, whom he requested to discuss what he called “business matters.”

Answering the politician’s call, the General stepped foot into the quaint domus on the Palatine Hill, a bit ways off from the Emperor’s palace, silently admiring the granite floors and chiseled columns. He may not enjoy engaging with men of politics, but he can’t deny the gaudy and expensive taste laid out before him.

“General Acacius! Welcome, I have been expecting you.” The general was met with a man draped in bright blue and white linen cloth, the purple latus clavus accessorized his toga and held it together.

“You called for me, Senator Lurio?”

“Yes. I meant to speak with you regarding the current expansions into the regional provinces. I hear you were successful in the conquest?” Acacius eyed the politician with a straight face, dull in comparison to the excitement of the man before him.

“The residents surrendered their land freely and faced minimal bloodshed. We expect an influx of a few hundred soldiers to the army under my discretion.”

“A shame that you did not partake in bloodshed. I am sure you understand Rome’s hunger for it.” It was as if the man craved the innermost details of what took place on the battlefield, every gruesome mention of the lives lost and the meticulous ways the General pillaged through entire villages. It disgusted him, but he swallowed down the feeling and maintained a neutral expression as he’s trained himself to do.

“I do. I was under the impression we would discuss the wages for the new expansion, per the Emperor’s request, I assume.” It was an attempt to shift to the real reason he came here, not wanting to prolong his stay more than needed.

“Ah, yes, the wages. Come, we shall review in my study.”

General Acacius stepped further into Lurio’s home, past the columned hallways with his additional guards following along. As his broad figure strolled by the atrium, he turned to a clearing in the center of the Domus, eyes capturing the fountain before landing on another figure.

You were situated on the edge of the fountain in the middle of the clearing, tossing pieces of watermelon and blueberries to the koi fish that swam below you. The sun reflected over the water as you were bent on the side, casting a radiant glow over your silhouette. The fabric of your lilac stola draped over your body like an ocean’s tide, small jeweled earrings adorning your ears, and your hair pinned to the side, falling over your shoulder in riveting curls.

Lifting your head to spot the man walking into your home, you held his gaze as he continued to wander past you. Your curious eyes bore holes into his dark brown ones, captivated by the faint sparkle in his irises for a mere second before he focused his attention ahead of him. Your watch remained on the width of the General’s back as he trekked away from you, taking in the last bits of his figure before the doors of your father’s study closed down the hall.

“Something troubles you, my lady?” The voice of your handmaiden snapped you out of your slight daze, shifting to meet her warm and familiar gaze.

“No, Viria, nothing of the sort.” You reassured her, shaking off the buzz you gained from meeting another man’s glances so intensely.

Who was that man?

General Marcus Acacius, you’ve soon come to learn, had become a familiar face within the walls of your home. Once every few days, his chiseled face would grace your halls again, taking the same pathway to your father’s study, and the wooden doors would keep him locked away and out of sight. You would follow his path without fail, and as you expected, his head would turn to meet your waiting eyes, usually sitting by the atrium or walking to one of the other rooms nearby.

At one instance, you could’ve sworn you caught the ends of his lips flexing when he caught you in your usual spot, his glare wavering longer after every visit. Your heart beat faster whenever you saw him nearby, admiring the gray streaks in his curly hair and his aquiline nose. You grew more inquisitive of the General, primarily knowing him by name and nothing else that would suggest a level of acquaintanceship.

Your father refused to say anything about the General or his political affairs beyond what you already knew or could figure out. Politics are no place for a young woman, much less war. You keep your nose out of it and maintain your role in the home. You could practically hear your father’s voice rattling in your mind, forcefully reminding you of your minuscule existence in his life. A man who should be guiding you through the tumultuous times of your youth instead gave his heavy hand where it belonged, keeping you sheltered from anything that doesn’t revolve around being the daughter of a man who craved power and influence.

Unfortunately for you, part of that reminder was based on keeping up appearances whenever your father was called to partake in grand celebrations after a successful campaign overseas. Being born into a wealthy household with a prestigious name has granted you material goods not easily attainable for others, a compromise to the lack of emotional security you were given as an indirect result of losing your mother during childbirth. Your father regarded you with a face of resentment and a mouth full of venom for most of your life, the fluctuating presence of housemaids to care for you were the only individuals who held you with a loving touch. Viria, your personal housemaiden who was a decade older than you, has been a constant part of your life once you reached the age of 10, offering the guidance and support one should receive from a maternal figure. Though as you continue to age into early adulthood, you now see her more as the older sibling you never had.

Of course, your father’s disdain towards you was brushed off when your arm wrapped around his and your hand clutched his bicep as you walked alongside him in the banquet hall. Another successful conquest, more territory was added to the empire, and sufficient blood was shed to satisfy the Emperors enough to throw a feast in celebration. Like many of Rome’s subjects, you had a duty to fulfill, dressing in your finest garments and wearing your best jewelry to emphasize your status.

Walking through the crowds of men who were too similar to your father, you managed to get by with faint smiles and cautious waves. You played your part well, speaking only when spoken to, and letting your father control the conversations he brought you into, a sad opportunity for his colleagues to take their chances at asking for your hand.

“I have a son traveling in Athens who is in need of a wife. Your daughter has surpassed the necessary age and remains unmarried, no?”

“I have been preoccupied with work as of late to think about marriage for my daughter. Though, if there is an offer on the table, I will consider it.” Your father didn’t bother to look at you as he toyed with the idea of how much your virtue was worth.

“You best hurry if you want an offer from a suitor at all, or maybe she would be a better fit for the bathhouses.” Your father booms into a laugh at the recommendation while you bit the inside of your cheek hard enough to taste blood, masking it with a cordial grin.

You endured the distasteful jests from your father’s circle of colleagues, holding your tongue and swallowing the bile that threatened to eject from your mouth. The more stares that were thrown your way blatantly picking you apart, the more you wished you had stayed home, away from the reminders that you were nothing but a placeholder until you met your doomed fate of becoming someone’s concubine or plaything.

Having lost your appetite some time ago, you sneaked away from your father’s grasp once he was pulled by his associates, immersed in the generous cups of wine and the touches of the young “entertainers.” You held your glass close to your body as you walked out searching for a clearing far from the noise, desperate for fresh air.

Thankfully, you found a balcony on the backside of the banquet, relatively empty and quiet. The music drowned out behind you as you inhaled some air, exhaling the rest with your eyes closed before opening them again. Looking at the view in front of you, the neighboring lights gleamed brightly in the night as the common folk turned into their quaint homes beyond the hill. You didn’t know how long you spent staring off into the distance until someone interrupted your moment of peace.

“Not fond of the festivities?”

You turned to the sound of a gruff voice, eyes slightly widening to spot none other than the General himself, not too far from where you currently stood. As expected, he wore his signature white and gold celebratory armor, reserved for special occasions when he returned to Rome victorious. You couldn’t help but notice the golden cuffs wrapped around his thick wrists, glowing in the dark of the night, paired with the ring on his finger that carried his insignia.

“General Acacius. Had I known you were here, I would have brought my father to speak with you.” Ah yes, you were being friendly, as you had to be when you were in a public setting like this, unaccompanied at that.

“I believe I have spoken with him plenty. On the other hand, you always lingered in the background during my visits.” The mention of him noticing you brought the familiar quiver you’d get once your eyes met. Humming in response, you replied with a nod.

“Not one to discuss politics. Father keeps me out of it, says there is no place for women in that realm.” Taking a sip of your wine, you focus again on Acacius, giving him your undivided attention as his position demands. “Do you usually hide away from banquets in celebration of your conquests?”

That comment brought a slight grin to the General’s aged face, the skin beside his eyes creased as the corner of his lips curled. He covered it by taking a sip from his goblet, holding the glass with one large hand, fingers splayed over the edge of it.

“I do not care much for these feasts. This is all for show, so I have come to learn.”

“Yet your name is the one people chant in the streets. Is that all for show as well?”

At that notion, he peeked at your face, met with genuine curiosity rather than what he anticipated to be ungrateful criticism. He took a minute to think of his reply, reading your expression as genuine compared to the obedience he expected from the average commoner.

“No, the people have the right to celebrate however they please. After all, they are safe within these walls, they can be as extravagant as they see fit. To honor and memorialize, it is what we fight for.” He shifts to lean forward on the balcony’s edge, placing his arms on the marble railing and looking off to the outskirts of the hill. “The people are unaware of what lies beyond the gates. If drinking wine and feasting for one night is the result of pillaging across the region, then that is what must be done.”

You observed him as he spoke, watching the flex of his jaw with every word that came from his plush lips. Trailing your eyes upward, you saw the pink scar along the apple of his cheek, beginning to fade and mesh into his sun-kissed skin. You silently wondered how many more marks littered his body, how many more stories he had etched into the limbs that carried him across the region to collect more.

“Do you enjoy it?” Your inquiry caused the General to raise an eyebrow in your direction.

“Enjoy what?”

“Being the General, having power, having the army at your disposal. Do you enjoy it?”

Another considerate question from you. You wouldn’t be able to tell if he admired your ability to hold a conversation or if you were beginning to irk his nerves by being too probing. Acacius had a choice: he could end the conversation and be off on his way to return to the banquet or feed into the novelty of his psyche. He chose the latter, inhaling a breath of air before releasing it in a sigh.

“Truthfully, I am not sure. Being a General and a soldier, this is who I am, this is what I know. It is what was destined for me to become.” He took another second to collect his thoughts, sipping his wine again and shifting his attention towards you. “And do you enjoy being the daughter of a politician?”

Having your question reiterated back to you threw you off. You moved your focus from Acacius to the liquid in your goblet, swirling it around and watching the ripples unfold as you pressed your back to the railing’s edge.

“It is a complex feeling, and I cannot take the blessings bestowed upon me for granted. But this,” you waved your hand around to signal towards the banquet where the festivities continued, “these events, I do not enjoy. It may be my duty to make appearances, and perhaps this role I have been given was also destined for me, but I do not enjoy it any less.”

“So that is why you dwell from a distance?” Glancing at Acacius from the corner of your eye, you were met with equal interest.

“It is what I know, what I am meant to do. Observe and watch from afar as my father finances the empire’s wars.”

You had to choose your words carefully, being this outspoken about your father in front of a man associated with him, the General nonetheless, could bear severe consequences. He could have your tongue cut out for speaking out of turn, strip you of your title, and send you to fend for yourself on the streets. Instead, he offered sympathy and understanding. A man of his ranking had no business showing you kindness, much less consideration, but Acacius awed you.

“Duty. A blessing and a curse in disguise. It gives us something to live for and takes just as much.” You must’ve been quiet for too long when Acacius straightened himself to look at you, standing at full height to hover over you.

“Do not fret, you will keep your tongue. I hold no ill will outside of understanding, and your father will not know what we discuss here.” Blinking a few times, you finally remembered words, shaking off your shock and returning to the present.

“Thank you, General. I am appreciative of your words and consideration.” He tilted his head towards you in acknowledgement before he mimicked your prior action, swirling what remained of his drink.

“I do wonder…if you had a choice, what would duty be for you?”

“I did not strike you as a man of hypotheticals.” He grins again.

“I am not, but we have the capacity to fantasize. Indulge me this once, your answer in exchange for mine.” Pausing to think just as he did at the beginning of this encounter, it embarrassed you to admit the truth, but one look at the man and you couldn’t resist confessing what occupied your imagination.

“If I had the ability to choose, I would be away from here, from Rome. I wonder what life is like beyond this city, what the sea smells like, what you see during your travels, even in the name of war. I do not wish to stay bound to politics and what it brings.” Your explanation secured a satisfied hum from Acacius, as honest as you could be you stood true in your reply.

“And now, what is your answer?” He hesitates a second before he speaks.

“I wish to strip myself of my armor in favor of some land, somewhere far away by the coast, where I could fish and trade for goods. A simple and quiet life, a fulfilling one different from what’s been given to me.” The idea of this man beside you exchanging his sword and honor for the life of the standard fisherman amused you, not being able to visualize it yourself. You knew better than to find it outright ridiculous, rather, it was noble.

“Perhaps in another lifetime, you would be a fisherman, and I a traveler. Our paths can cross momentarily, and we will go on our merry way as strangers.” The thought brought a genuine smile to Acacius’ face, both ends of his lips coiling up followed by a deep chuckle, much to your enjoyment.

“In another lifetime.”

You both drank to that, Acacius finishing his glass while yours remained half full. Enjoying the next few beats in silence, you didn’t mind sharing the space with the man you’ve taken a sudden liking to, knowing deep down this was the last thing you should be doing. All too soon, the moment is broken by Acacius’ voice.

“I must return to the banquet, but you have made this night more interesting than expected.” Inside you felt accomplished at something, proving yourself to be worthy beyond being invisible.

“Likewise, General.”

Much to your surprise, his hand reached for yours, daintily holding it between his fingers. You could feel the texture of his digits, years of sword wielding painted rough indents up the length of his palm. Bringing your hand to his lips, he bestows a soft kiss over your knuckles, his mustache brushing your skin before pulling away. You counted the extra second he held your grasp with an affectionate squeeze to remember you by, capturing the small smile he sported that tugged at your heart.

“Do not linger for long.”

As soon as his words left him, Acacius slipped away and walked back into the hall to meet with others who were waiting to speak with him. You looked towards the entryway much more than you should have, staying outside to enjoy the fresh air a little longer before returning to the suffocating feast in search of your father, inebriated from the drinking and stuffed full of the food that was provided.

The whole way back home, your hand tingled from when the General held it in his, pulse spiking at the thought. It worsened as you found yourself restless in bed, mind reliving the moment Acacius reached for you. You were sure he was simply being kind to you, but for the moment, you would like to dream of the hypotheticals that vexed your mind in the wee hours of the night.

It had been a few weeks since you spotted Acacius nearby, the conversation and time you both shared the night of the banquet was still on your mind. There were moments where you’d anxiously wander about in your home, finding something to do to keep yourself occupied rather than thinking about the next time the General would make an appearance. Thankfully, your father hadn’t taken any notice of your recent fidgeting, too engrossed with the current politics in the Roman Senate to offer any respite to your growing concern.

Thankfully, you were able to step outside and enjoy some time away from the stuffy walls of your bedroom. With your handmaiden Viria in tow, you drew your palla over your head and made your way to a busier area of the city meant to bargain for goods you deemed necessary to have. Despite your father being a rather cruel and controlling man, he allowed you to invest in things in the home when he didn’t have the time to care about it.

At least in that regard, you were fulfilling your duty as the lady in the home.

Viria remained closeby to keep you company, conversing as you made your way on horseback first before walking the rest of the way. You didn’t mind taking the long way, enjoying the scenery of shrubbery and the other homes you rode by until the roads turned to dirt and sand as you reached other communities of people.

The markets had been busy at the start of today, walking down the main road to select a few stalls and speaking to the merchants you recognized. There were several things on your mental checklist to buy, fruits grown and distributed to other households, fresh spices for Viria to give to the servants for the next meal along with cuts of meat that can be cured and stored for later.

Your favorite stand was of an older lady who sold a variety of fabrics, some you loved to use to make a combination of stolas and pallas. Of course, most of your outfits will go to waste from constantly staying at home, but that doesn't mean you can't wear more than one standard dress. Running your fingers through the different colored fabrics, you came across varying types: wool, linen, silk, all of different textures and some with distinct patterns.

A roll of light green silk fabric caught your eye, asking the woman for the price and deciding if it’s something worth bargaining for. Just as you were about to reach into your pouch for some golden denarii, another arm came from behind you, providing the denarius coins and dropping them in the palm of the dealer who marveled at none other than the General.

“You can add on a brooch if you would like, consider it a gift.” Acacius said calmly, the sound of his voice gracing your ears grabbed your attention in an instant.

“General Acacius, strange to find you here of all places. Should you not be elsewhere?” While you questioned him, you didn’t notice the way Viria glanced at the two of you as she wrapped up the green fabric to bring back home.

“I returned from another assignment the previous night. Figured I would do a patrol by the market to see if I had missed anything during my travels.”

“And does covering another citizen’s purchases count as one of your assignments?” Your cheeky response almost broke the facade of the serious and feared General, but instead he held his ground and concealed the smirk that threatened to make an appearance.

“When I have the time, yes. Though most people are not as quick to counter my generosity.” His face may not have shown that he was explicitly joking with you, but you could tell from his tone of voice he was being sarcastic. “Do you mind if I accompany you on your errands?”

You gave him a do-over, as if to test whether or not to take him seriously, met with sincerity. You peeked over to Viria, who practically shooed you towards the General’s direction, encouraging you to say yes. Eyes landing on Acacius again, you nodded, taking a step ahead while he stayed near, keeping his hands to himself as Viria walked behind.

“Do you usually come to this part of the city? I would think the house servants preferred to purchase what is needed for the home.” Marcus commented, wondering what were the conditions that permitted you to venture off this far from home in the first place with just your housemaiden.

“I enjoy coming here, it is a nice change of pace when the other option is staying confined to my home full of boredom.” You stated, heading towards another stand to look at a cluster of grapes, paying for it with one hand and placing it in your basket.

“And yet you are unaccompanied.”

“Viria is enough. I enjoy her company.” You haven’t looked at him since he began walking next to you, holding the basket of goods to your front.

“That is not what I meant. Surely your father must be concerned for your safety.” His face angled towards you to see your eyebrows furrowing at the thought in defiance.

“You would be surprised to know I do not need additional chaperones to roam the city I was born in. I can handle myself.” Your rebuttal didn’t seem to please Acacius, a bubble of concern inhabiting his mind, but he refused to act out on it and pushed the idea to the side.

“I do not doubt you know how to conduct yourself when needed. Though, Rome has become dangerous for those that stick out. Your pretty garments and jewelry are a magnet for thieves.”

Did he think the way you dressed was sensible? Pretty even?

You ignored the small thought, continuing on your walk with the General standing tall. Some of the shoppers in the vicinity kept their nosey eyes on you, some women muttering disengaging gossip under the palms that covered their mouths. The thought that there was possible conversation involving you and the General in any capacity unnerved you, but there was no point in acknowledging something so miniscule.

“I will manage, as I always do.” You stopped by one last stall, an array of fresh flowers catching your eye.

Offering the seller a courteous smile, you looked over the selection before you. Roses, violets, dahlias, lilies, and several others. The General watched from behind you, how intently you touched the stems of each flower as if they were made of porcelain. You picked up a variety in your hand to make a small bouquet for yourself, passing it to the merchant to wrap in ribbon. Exchanging the neat bundle of flowers for some coin, you placed it in your basket, keeping in mind to tell one of your servants to drop them in a vase with fresh water.

“My lady, we must return.” Viria reminded behind you, just as one of Acacius’ soldiers whispered something in his ear, probably informing him that someone else called for him.

“I must go. Perhaps I will see you again when you visit my father, General.” You said, taking two steps from Acacius before he answered.

“Yes, perhaps. But if you would like to discuss other matters more privately…I may have a suggestion.” Turning on your heel, your eyebrow rose in confusion, seeking clarification from him. “There is a clearing not far from here, a garden of sorts. It is quiet, away from prying eyes. I wish to speak to you more and tell you of my travels when I am here.”

The thought of being with Acacius was one thing, even if it was fleeting, but being alone with him for a certain period of time brought a shiver over your back that you tried your best to disregard. You held your composure and was selective with your words despite the way your chest tightened at the offer.

“Then I am not opposed to meeting again when we are both able to.” Your confirmation was the thing that cracked Marcus’ facade, his lips twitching into a smirk only you would be able to see.

“I will look forward to our next meeting.”

The General returned to his stoic persona and sauntered out of the market with his guards, leaving you and Viria behind as you made your way to your horses. Your housemaiden didn’t say anything on the ride back home, and you made sure to erase the small smile on your face before you walked through the front doors.

The next time you get to see the General is at this clearing he mentioned you to go to, somewhere that was familiar to Viria, an isolated garden she used to go to as a child before she was brought into your home by your father. She comes along to bring you to the location, stepping over a cobblestone road and small bumps in the ground before you find yourself at the center of lush greenery.

The landscape had changed over the years you were certain of it, thick vines crawling up the brick walls that provided a sense of privacy, hiding you from the outside world. You were surrounded by overgrown shrubbery, pockets of wildflowers growing rampant through the ground, vibrant in color and varying in shape. On one side, a forgotten fountain now victim to moss and algae dominated a corner, lily pads floating over the surface. A thick tree off to one side overcasted shade on a marble bench, roots gripping the base and embedded into the faded stone.

“I see you have found your way.” Acacius’ voice made you abruptly turn to face him, dressed in his usual armor, the golden gorgon head staring back at you. “Forgive me, I would have preferred to change into something less…formal.”

“No harm done, General. I do not mind.” You twirl your thumb, staring to the ground to avert his gaze. “Viria guided me here, says she used to come here as a child so she knew the route.” He hums.

“That was kind of her. And have you been here before?” You shook your head, looking around your surroundings to take in the view.

“Never managed to venture too far from home, this little area is new to me. But I must say, it is quite beautiful, reminds me of a small sanctuary.”

“Yes, exactly that.” Acacius takes a step forward, now closer to where you stood. “When I was younger, I would come here when I needed time to think or a moment in solitude. I still visit from time to time when I can, but commanding the Roman army can be quite demanding.”

“And here I thought it was the easiest thing for you to do, having strong and brute men at your disposal.” Sarcasm dripped from your tongue as the General chuckled, his usual upright posture more relaxed.

“It might seem easy when you are not the one responsible for 5,000 lives fighting in the name of the empire every day, but I guarantee you it is quite the opposite.” As he spoke, you pondered about his intentions of bringing you here, considering that the other two instances you spoke with him were surface level at best.

“Why did you bring me here, General? I am sure you are needed in other parts of the city, not in this isolated place with the daughter of a senator.”

“Well, to put it simply, I enjoy conversing with you,” he stood in front of you, holding your gaze as he towered over you. “You have an honest way of thinking and you speak without restraint in front of me, something I have yet to encounter with others. It is refreshing.”

“Oh, so this is because I do not bend at the knee in your presence the way most do?” Your quick wit still took Acacius off guard at times, never having met a woman who was able to bite back so quickly, even in a joking manner.

“It could be, or I simply find you interesting enough to speak with outside of my obligations, ours.” Your eyes met as you analyzed each other, peering into the chocolate brown orbs that mirrored you in your study. “What do you say?”

Some light conversation couldn’t hurt, right?

“As long as you keep your word to remain interesting, then I do not see why I would deny you, General Acacius.”

It quickly became a routine to meet Acacius here when you were both in the city at the same time, whether it be him coming from patrols, training his soldiers, or meeting with politicians and the Emperors, he still found a way to meet you at this little place you’ve made your own. Initially, it started with icebreakers and familiarizing how to talk to someone of polarizing status, and later eased into learning more about each other while your father remained oblivious of your actions.

The General was a man of stories, frequently retelling his travels and the things he’s seen during his campaigns. He spares you of the details of violence that haunt him in his sleep, and you refrain from asking, more interested in everything else he has to tell you. He talks about his homeland, the things he remembers living in a smaller village with his mother before he trained to join the army, climbing up the ranks to reach his current position. The meals he likes to eat, his favorite scents and colors of fabric, all things meshed into this budding friendship as you come to learn more about Acacius and less about the renowned General of Rome.

When it came to him learning about you, well there were things you enjoyed talking about and things that you’d prefer to keep secret.

Your face brightened with enthusiasm when you spoke about the things you’ve read in the books found in your father’s study, describing the different regions under Rome’s dominion and the territories the empire wished to control. You had a newfound curiosity with other cultures and languages, mostly asking the man next to you of things he may or may not know, answering with fable tales from his memory and battle songs carried on through generations. Anything about your father or the topic of courting made you uneasy, so Acacius refrained from asking about the tense relationship with your paternal figure. Within the time you’ve spent together he knows enough to understand it’s a sensitive topic, and he would prefer to avoid upsetting you in any way.

On the rare occasion the General wasn’t able to meet you, he’d leave a note behind on the bench for you to find, offering words of reassurance and a promise that he will return when he can, bringing more stories of his findings and keeping you in the back of his mind. The lines between you began to blur when the conversations turned into more unscripted, intimate memories and jokes between you in this bubble you’ve created for yourselves away from the controlling eyes of your father and the rest of Rome.

He’s made you laugh on more than one occasion, slapping away at his chest as he witnessed the way you threw your head back. You realized you enjoyed toying with the General, always ready for a smart comeback to every rebuttal he gave you. He liked the way you had a mind of your own, not easily swayed by the customs that frequently plagued the women of Rome into subordination. At least in the comfort of Acacius, he let you speak your mind freely, without scrutiny or judgement, and you appreciated the fact he granted you that in more ways than can be said.

“When do you leave?” You asked Acacius once, leaning against him as you both sat on the marble bench, basking in the sun that slipped through the tree’s coverage above you.

“In three days. It should be a quick venture, something the Emperors requested of me to do before they make plans of a larger conquest.” He felt you sigh at his words, tilting his head to rest against yours, cradling you with his weight. “You do not need to worry, I will return in one piece.”

“I know, I just hate when you have to go.” You admitted to him, as you have a few times now over the course of building this relationship between you. It was friendly at most, and having him as your confidant is what you valued.

“I do not enjoy leaving any less, believe me. I would much rather stay here a while longer with you, dove.” The sound of the nickname he’s given you brought a smile to your face, something that came when he mentioned how you carried yourself like a dove but had the personality of a hawk with how observant you were. It made you laugh then, not bothering to correct him, and now the name stuck to you like the clothes you wore.

“Will you bring me something from your travels?” You asked, twisting to look at him with a mischievous glint to your eye. “You forgot to do that the last time you left.”

“Yes, I did come empty handed, how inconsiderate of me.” A chuckle came from you at his tease, rolling your eyes at him. “I will find something to bring you if I can.”

“Good, I should be expecting a new trinket to add to the collection.” He grinned, shaking his head in disbelief at how easy it was to just talk to you about anything under the sun. His large hand reached for yours, moving his thumb over your fingers. It was a comfort thing he liked doing, and you never minded when he did it. Frankly, you didn’t want him to stop.

Just as quickly as the moment started, it had to come to an end. Viria came by to interrupt the two of you, signaling that it was time to leave before your father came back from his meetings.

“My lady, it is time.” Your housemaiden declared, pivoting to let you enjoy the last few minutes you had with Acacius. He stood up when you did, following your lead and dropping his hold on your hand, much to your disappointment.

“I wish you safe travels, and will pray to the Gods for your return.” Your fingers touched the metal brooch holding his tunic together, straightening the material out before he had to return to the real world.

“I am always appreciative of your kindness. Until next time, dove.” He brings your hand to his lips, placing a soft kiss over your knuckles and looking at you as he did so, the touch stirring you more than it should. He did the honors of pulling part of your palla over your head, letting you part from him to leave the small garden, making your way back home much to your dismay.

“The General fancies you, my lady.” You heard Viria declare when you were alone, still making your way to the domus.

“No need to be ridiculous, it is merely friendship.” You weren’t in the mood to entertain the idea, and she could only smirk at your attempt to deflect.

“A man like him speaking to you in a secluded area is not friendly, my lady. If he wished, he would do it in the public eye, but I understand that he cannot given his position.” Viria concluded, declining to answer or refute against that. You didn’t think much of what she said anyway, though it kept you wide awake until the next morning.

The next few days, you knew Acacius was gone, but you still went over to the garden for some peace and quiet with Viria following one of your market trips. When you arrived, you were surprised to find another one of Acacius’ notes with a red rose securing the letter to the marble bench. Picking up the flower’s stem, you delicately touched the rose’s petals, sniffing it to take in its scent. The smile on your face was soft as it was expected, chest warm at his thoughtfulness to leave this behind while he was out on assignment.

You thought back to what Viria told you a few days ago, and in the safety of your mind, you’d like to think she was right.

As he promised, Acacius returned to Rome unscathed on his recent trip, visiting your father the day following his arrival. You stood by the hall to congratulate him on his success, courteous as you always were and maintaining the facade of politeness. It was satisfactory for your father, glad that you had enough sense to show General Acacius your gratitude for keeping us safe. He brushed off Senator Lurio’s slick comment, saying his thanks and walking into your father’s study as he’s done so many times before. The next day, you met him at your usual spot, being handed a seashell he brought back while he was away.

Found this on the coast, I snuck it under my armor plate and kept it safe until I could give it to you. The sight was beautiful, it reminded me of you while I was away.

You sat happily with him as he told you everything that happened on his travels, holding the new seashell with one hand and the other in his, letting him clasp his fingers over yours in his lap as you both leaned against the tree in the garden. You listened to every word he had to give, ignoring the rapid beating of your heart and the butterflies in your stomach at the sight of him.

The Gods must have punished you with the growing affection you felt towards the General. Yet, you knew better than anybody that there was no reality where that bond would work beyond what you had. Concealing your inner turmoil and swallowing your pride, you wished Acacius a good day and night of peaceful rest once Viria came to say your time was up, not knowing when you’d see him again so consistently.

Night fell over Rome, an ease blanketing the rest of the city as everyone turned in for the evening. Already bathed with your skin clean and moisturized by your favorite oils, you adorned a long sleeve silk nightgown, the purple material pooling at your feet, wishing the house servants a good night and giving Viria a kiss on her cheek. You enjoyed the silence of the domus without the anxieties of your father being home, having left the city for a few days to meet with other politicians. You walked around the halls barefooted and stopped by the atrium to sit on the edge of the fountain. Dipping your fingers to touch a lily pad, you followed a singular koi fish that swam away from you, mindlessly thrumming along the water. A shadow appeared in front of you, lifting your head to spot Acacius standing across from you, dressed in a black cloak.

“General?” you called out to him in a whisper, standing to meet him face to face. “What are you doing here? How did you manage to enter without being seen?”

“I found an opening from behind and avoided the guards up front. Do you not consider me tactful?” He replied, removing the hood from his head to show his face. Without another word, you took his hand and brought him to your bedroom, closing the doors behind him and silently praying nobody saw him come in.

“There is no need for you to be here, General. It is quite late.” You muttered to him, stepping back to glance at him once again. You noticed he was wearing his casual clothes, a simple white tunic paired with some sandals, the fabric cutting off right at his thick thighs.

“Maybe so, or I simply wanted to see you again before I turned to my bed.”

“And here you come to disturb me as I am about to turn into mine.” There was a lilt to your voice as you spoke to him, a cheekiness that was only reserved to when he inhabited your space. He’s grown to like that about you, how you saw him simply as a man and not just his status alone. It was refreshing in ways he couldn’t explain, and the gravitational pull he felt towards you grew stronger as the days passed.

“You can tell me to leave if that is what you wish. I am merely seeking more of your companionship.” You wished he would clarify what kind of companionship he was looking for. If it were any different, you’d suggest the brothel or the bathhouses, where his needs could be better met with a woman of experience compared to a novice of the real world.

“You have already come all this way, might as well stay for a while.” Shrugging at the suggestion, you walked to your vanity to finish your routine, when really you were trying to find something to do other than gawk at him.

“I see your father has yet to return from his trip.” Marcus stated, moving to sit on the edge of your bed to face your back. “He is still occupied with his affairs?”

“He mentioned something about seeking more council further out from the Republic. For when he arrives, I am not sure.” Speaking casually, you brushed through your hair as it cascaded over the sides of your face, not realizing how Acacius was staring at your reflection.

“Something troubles you, dove.” It was a statement more than a question, acting like the voice of reason and so level headed when you weren’t.

“It is nothing.”

“Tell me anyway. I am here to listen.” Your eyes met on the mirror of your vanity, the chocolate brown irises that captivated you from the beginning holding your gaze. With a sigh, you paused your brushing, messing with the bristles of the hairbrush and looking downward.

“I wonder what it is like to get the things I want and desire. You men can do everything. Can choose where to go, who to see, you dictate when the sun sets and the moon rises. I am nothing like my father, and yet my whole life must be dictated by him and him alone. I resent it, I resent him.”

Acacius remained quiet as he offered a listening ear. He knows plenty of how your reality affects you, how you feel like you’re nothing more than a bird in a cage, growing restless at wanting to be free, to live the life you deserve. Sadly, it wasn’t that easy, you knew it wouldn’t be.

“You have wants and desires, many of them that you should get. Despite the man being your father, he should not be the one to strip you of your ability to find enjoyment in living, to want more.”

“And it is far from simple,” you exasperated, now standing from your vanity and turning to face him, crossing your arms over your chest in an attempt to self soothe. “Does my happiness truly mean so little to my father that he is willing to sell it for the right price?”

In an instant, Acacius stood up and took hold of your hands, his thumb rubbing over your knuckles to provide some comfort from your thoughts. You blinked at the sudden movement, not rejecting it, but not expecting it either.

“Your happiness and comfort should matter to any man you share company with. Those who do not prioritize you are cowards who should not have the privilege of being called men at all.” He couldn’t stop himself as he began to speak, looking right into your eyes as he did.

“I do not believe there are men who desire such company from me.” Another shrug, another deflection. Out of his own volition, one of his hands rose to pull away a singular coil of hair framing your face, curling it behind your ear.

“Any man who does not desire you is blind. I believe they do not deserve the eyes given to them if they act on such idiocy.” You chuckled a bit at that, half believing him and half thinking he was being ridiculous, but you weren’t one to object. The sound brought the smallest of smiles to his face, taking your reaction as a win.

He didn’t mean for his hand to flex open and have your cheek fall into his palm. He didn’t mean to have you press your skin into his when he softly caressed your cheekbone. He didn’t mean to stare at you long enough to grab your attention, his large hand cupping the side of your jaw to keep your face at an angle, heart thumping in his ribcage at the mere suggestion of following through on what he was thinking.

How did you two get this close? When did his eyes begin to wander all over your features, retaining every curve and angle into his memory? When did he start to crave more than just a conversation with you? When did the looks of curiosity you originally gave him shift to desire?

The both of you were acting out of turn, trailing your sight from the scar on the bridge of his nose and down to his plush lips before moving back up as if you were asking a silent question. You didn’t know what was going through his head, how long you two had been standing there a hair away from being chest to chest. You didn’t know when your face tilted upwards the slightest bit, or when Acacius leaned in an inch to reciprocate your action.

A gasp hitched in your throat when his lips finally met yours.

He kissed you with a softness you would’ve never expected from a man capable of so much violence, his lips skimming yours for a few seconds as they meshed into perfect puzzle pieces. Closing your eyes to savor it as much as you could, Marcus drew away from you, hand still holding your cheek as he left your mouth tingling for more.

A beat passed by, trying to catch your breath as your hands creeped up to his chest, petting along the linen of his tunic. Your breaths tangled into one, foreheads close enough to hover as Marcus loomed over you. The pulse you felt the moment your first kiss was gifted to you was nothing like what you expected. Sure, you’ve read about these things, heard the rumors when eavesdropping in some casual conversations when walking through groups of people, but you’d never think such intense feelings existed.

“Acacius…” your breathless voice broke the silence between you as the world stood still. It was the first time you had addressed him by name alone, no longer holding the usual formalities you preserved with him.

“I…that was improper of me. I apologize.” His words confused you, creasing your eyebrows as you remained in place.

“Why are you apologizing? Did you…did you not enjoy it?” Gods. It killed him to make you think he didn’t want to give you any attention when he’s been fighting off the urge to touch you for weeks now.

“I did enjoy it, more than I should have. But, you are still…it was wrong of me to do that when you are not mine to have.” You knew what he meant, you were still considered “pure”, “untouched”, meant to save yourself for the stranger you were intended to be courted with. At this moment, you could care less about a future partner you haven’t met, a man you knew didn’t deserve all of you.

But a man like Acacius, you think he was the exception.

“Do it again.” Your body spoke for you before you gained a lick of sense, clutching at his chest and tempting him closer. “Kiss me again, Acacius.”

How could he deny you when you begged for him so sweetly?

Grabbing hold of your face in his hands, he craned his neck to meet your lips, kissing you more intently now that you allowed him to. Your eyes fluttered closed at the contact, leaning into Acacius completely and holding on to his shoulders to ground yourself. The feel of one thick arm wrapping around your waist sent a shiver down your spine, the silk material of your nightgown adding to the new sensations that flooded your body for the first time. He angled his head to the side, kissing you deeper at a slow pace while one of your hands shifted to rake through the graying curls at the nape of his neck.

The low grumble of a groan slipping from Acacius’ chest shot warmth right to your gut, your knees almost buckling at the feel of his strong body pressed against yours. Pulling from him for air, your mouth was swollen from the kissing with every pass of his lips. You craved more, more of what he was making you feel, of what you didn’t fully understand.

You didn’t give Marcus a second to recuperate when you lunged to kiss him again with more fervor, a bit clumsily until he met you with equal enthusiasm. He refused to hold back now, holding you tighter by the waist and deliberately pressing you to his broad body. A heavy hand went up to cradle the back of your head, thick fingers seizing your scalp and running through the brushed out curls while the other held you by the tailbone. You couldn’t help but release a content sigh when his tongue traced your lower lip, relaxing your jaw to grant him entry, curling the wet muscle around your own.

The hand resting on the width of your spine sneaked lower to curve into your backside, pinching the fabric of your nightgown. Instinctively, you arched into the touch, antsy digits seeking somewhere proper to touch. His hair, his neck, his jaw, the shawl thrown over his shoulders—you didn't know what to do with your hands or where to put them.

You’ve never wanted someone so badly.

The passion intensified between you the more handsy you both got, your breathing labored and your small whines were swallowed by Acacius as he dominated your mouth. You’d lost track of time, the frequent shifting dragged you backwards until you bumped into your vanity. The sound of your beauty products rattling across the wooden surface forced you to draw your head back from Acacius’ generous mouth, breathing through your nose and sinking your teeth into your bottom lip.

When the General looked at your face again, he could feel the warmth radiating from your cheeks, your lungs expanding for air to calm your erratic heart. Your lips were plump with a slight redness, pupils blown from the experience with the slightest inkling that lust began to override your brain.

You were at a loss of words, not knowing what would be the best way to describe what you just felt. The general had stolen your breath, and possibly more, not like you were complaining. Acacius was quiet, stuck in thought as he breathed in and out, his exhales falling over your lips. You tried to lean in again for more of him when he kept your face in place, the tip of his nose nudging yours.

“To the bed, little dove.” He uttered, more of an order than anything else. The intensity of the heat pooling in your gut elevated, something deep within you beginning to ache from the way he added another twist to the term of endearment he’d given you.

Blinking once then twice, your brain regained functioning as you drifted from Acacius’ arms and walked to your bed, sitting down on the edge and waiting for his next command. However, now that the high you felt from kissing the man before you changed into anxiety, your naivety seeped out of you in waves.

“Acacius I…I have never…” you struggled to tell him that despite the promiscuous lies your father projected onto you. You didn’t need to say much for him to understand your inner dilemma.

“It is alright.” His voice calmed you as he kneeled in front of you, taking your hands in his larger ones, giving a gentle squeeze. “How much do you know of coupling?”

“Besides the crude things men ruminate about with who they engage with, the basics. I know what goes in what.” It sounded idiotic coming from your mouth, not being able to state the obvious, to discuss sex in the literal terms as you understood them.

“You have never been touched before?” He asked you, not patronizing in his tone, but seeking to give a solution, receiving a shake of your head in response. “And when you are alone, you never think to do anything?”

“No. I never found a reason to…” You shook your head again and looked down to where he sandwiched your hands between his, a sense of shame tinting at your cheeks.

“Would you like for me to teach you what pleasure feels like?” His proposition caused your eyebrows to raise, a foreign throb between your thighs growing as your imagination played tricks on you. The General wanted to please you, to show you the things so many Roman citizens indulge themselves in doing.

“This is for you to learn, and for you to experience something new. And…if you allowed me to, I could grant you that experience.” He took one of your hands out of his grasp, kissing the inside of your palm and then your wrist, your pulse spiking under his touch. “The choice is yours.”

It wasn’t every day that you saw a respected General of Rome on his knees willing to grant you the first taste of something you were told was forbidden. With the way he looked at you, so candid and reverently, it wasn’t a hard decision for you to make.

“Yes. Show me, please.”

Placing one last kiss on the inside of your wrist, he stood up to his full height and pulled you up as you looked at him in a daze. He switched your positions to where he was the one sitting on the edge of the bed, thighs spreading to make space for you. When he peeked over at you again, he held out his hands to take yours, guiding you towards him.

“Come, sit on my lap, over my thigh.”

The order made you quiver, clumsily maneuvering to hover over one of his thick thighs. You held on to his shoulders to steady yourself while his hands came to yank the length of your nightgown, giving you more room to work with. He held your hips once you were in the right position, bringing you closer until your chests were together.

He suppressed the groan rumbling inside when he realized you were bare underneath your slip. Soft and warm skin met the thick muscle of his leg, your breath shuddered at the change in texture.

“You will grind over my thigh and move your hips to shift back and forth. I want you to do what feels right, what feels good. I am only here to guide you, but this is for you. Do you understand?”

You nodded at him, your anxious hands having a mind of their own and reaching for his neck, stroking along the sides of skin. Your thumb grazed the new scar on the column of his throat, leaning forward to kiss it apologetically. He threw his head back a bit at the feel of it, exhaling comfortingly while his hands flexed at your hips. Repeating the pattern to leave a path of kisses from the side of his neck to the corner of his jaw and then his chin, colliding your lips with his again and arching into his hold as his fingers ran lines down your spine.

Your hips were moving on their own accord, shifting backwards before dragging them forward, building a slow tempo and rhythm as you got used to the new sensations. Focusing on undulating your hips over Acacius’ thigh, he kept you present with every kiss he graciously landed over your lips and face. Something inside you clenched when you hit the right angle, breath hitching on the impact of something sensitive grinding over the firm muscle of the General’s leg underneath you.

“That’s it little dove, you are doing so good for me. Take your pleasure, chase it, let the feeling consume you.” Acacius whispered into your ear, the lower octave of his deep voice making a beeline straight to your core where your body craved more. A weighted palm steadied you on the small of your back, keeping you from falling over.

Encouraged by his praise, you arched your back more, gyrating against him with more force. A whimper poured out of you, heat cresting in your gut at the change of pace, your arousal staining Acacius’ thigh. He mimicked your earlier action, littering soft kisses across your jaw and neck, fighting the possessive urge to leave his mark across your skin. Keeping one hand on your waist, the other moved upwards to your ribs, gently fondling one of your breasts through the silk that veiled you from his hungry eyes.

“Acacius,” your eyebrows furrowed, something building deep inside you, body growing tense as pleasure curled around your belly. You were almost panting, eyes fluttering shut as something unknown threatened to come out, a moan stumbling from your kiss bruised lips.

“Trust your body and keep moving, allow it to wash over you. So close to release, sweet girl, let it happen. I have you.” His broad hand palmed your breast, thumb stroking your nipple that poked through your dress.

Stuck in a haze, pressure built between your legs, a whine punching through you as you swiveled harder over Acacius’ thigh. Clawing at his chest, it took you a few more drives before you moaned out loudly, jerking over his leg as your body trembled. Heat like no other coursed through your limbs, an electric current rushing from the top of your head to the balls of your feet, toes curling from the intensity of it. The General coaxed you through your first climax, ogling your expression with hazy eyes, taking in every light cry you gave him followed by the words of praise he whispered beside your temple.

Good girl. Ride the tide, ride it for me. That’s it.

You slumped against Acacius when your release was finished and you’ve gained some footing, buzzing at the calming touch of his hands caressing your back and shoulders.

“Did you enjoy that, little dove?” He held your face with one palm, an act of fondness you’ve grown to love and crave.

“That was…divine.” You were slightly jittery as you replied, raising your head to look at the General with dilated pupils, amazed that this was what had been deprived of you for so long. “Is it always like this?”

“It can be, depending on what is done, but your enjoyment is what matters most.”

Your cheeks blistered at the realization of wet skin below you, slight embarrassment at marking the General’s leg with your arousal. Out of your own cognizance, your focus moved to find something stiff under Acacius’ tunic, the tips of your ears burning and bashfully looking at him.

Oh.

You’ve heard of the rumors, of the way some men boast about their appendages as if it were the Gods’ greatest blessing, or how some of the street women speak about their personal experiences in the bedroom with more endowed partners. Being able to see or feel something like this up close was unfathomable. Fingers gripped your chin, keeping your face aligned with the aged man that just opened the doors to a new world for you.

“Pay no mind to that, it will go away. I do not wish to overwhelm you so quickly. We will save this for next time.”

Next time.

Goosebumps raked over your arms at the thought of doing this again, or doing more, and by the look the General passed your way, he was more than happy to continue whatever this became. Gently maneuvering you to rest on your bed fully, Acacius walked to the wash basin on the other side of your room and dipped some cloth into the warm water, cleaning his thigh of your remaining slick. You didn’t have the heart to state your disappointment, but he passed you the cloth to cleanse yourself before flinging it back to the bowl, leaving you to head back to bed.

“Will you stay?” You called out to him, eyes pleading for more of his attention, body yearning for more of his touch. “I do not wish for you to leave.”

He knew he should leave, he shouldn’t have snuck into your home at this late hour in the first place, but you had been plaguing him ever since he saw you by the atrium dressed in lilac and opals.

“I will stay for the time being, but only to hold you.” You didn’t protest against that, taking whatever you could get.

Throwing the sheets off to make room, you lugged him into bed with you, claiming the space next to him as a bulky arm hooked around your waist, bringing you closer. You hummed contently against his sternum, nuzzling your face into his body, chasing his warmth and scent.

“Thank you, Acacius.” He didn’t say anything in response, kissing the top of your head in silence.

“Rest now, dove.”

With that, your eyes shut close and you were eased into slumber, the best night of rest you’ve had in a long time. As you traveled through the land of dreams, you imagined several things, strong hands running over your bare body in ways they shouldn’t, tantalizing words whispered in your ear that makes you drip between your thighs, and someone else bringing you to heights so great you would be standing amongst the Gods themselves. In every frame you conjured up, the General’s face was who you saw, marking you with his mouth and claiming you as his. You wanted to stay here for as long as you could, living through your fantasy for all eternity.

By the time the sun rose high in the sky, you found your bed empty, disillusionment evident on your face as you touched the pillow beside you, cool to the touch.

Acacius was gone, and despite the way you could still feel the ghost of his touch, last night had been all but a dream.

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lcriedlastnight · 1 day ago

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Hii! I have a request:

Lando's 'friend' (who actually has a crush on him) is rude to his girlfriend (Reader), and reader doesn't say anything because she doesn't want to cause problems. But Lando finds out somehow and decides to show his 'friend' just how much he loves his girlfriend.

I see it more as a kind of smut, but whatever you're comfortable with is fine!

hi! tysm, i don't think i'm completely comfortable with smut, sorry!!

if you see any mistakes you actually didn't because i don't make mistakes that's actually just how those words and spelled now.

1.5k words

"does she not bother you?" carlos asks you as he watches her throw herself all over your boyfriend. you watch along as well because what were you supposed to do? you sure as hell weren't saying anything to him, they had been friends longer than you had even known lando and you were not the type of girlfriend who told her boyfriend who he can and can't friends with, even if one of them is so clearly throwing herself at him and does not want a platonic relationship with him.

"it just baffles me how he doesn't even notice it. he's completely oblivious. it's insane." you reply back to the spaniard. "she's so rude to me too. i don't think she's ever been nice to me."

carlos scoffs, knowing all too well what she was like, i mean he's had to deal with her for a great deal longer than what you've had to. you're heart does go out to him, poor boy.

before carlos can actually reply to you though, lando makes his way over and of course she is hanging off his arm, like usual. you've never said anything to lando before because you can see every single way that the conversation goes pear shaped but she is acting like she's the one dating your boyfriend and you're just clinging onto him. if nothing it's embarrassing for you and you're friends hadn't been as kind when they told you how looked from the outside.

lando walks over to stand right beside you with his 'best friend' on his other side. carlos give you a look that almost makes you laugh. it was supposed to be a serious look but carlos did not pull it off as effectively as he would've wanted with the alcohol coursing through his veins.

"hey." you greet them both, giving lando a little side hug then taking your arms off him completely. lando looks confused but he doesn't even get the chance to say anything about it because she is opening her mouth and her voice hurts everyone's ears, you're sure of it.

"you not even gonna say hello to your mans best friend?" she slurs, you aren't sure how much she's had to drink but it explains how handsy she was tonight. she's never usually this bold when you were around.

"i did, i was saying hello to you both." you try to clear up. being sober you were not in the mood to argue with some drunk girl who so clearly wanted what you have.

"mhm, sure. you just wish that you and lan are as close as we are!" she giggles. carlos can't even hold in the noise he makes at that and he knows that he has to leave before he says something he might regret in the morning. he leaves with a 'goodbye mate' to lando and a sympathetic look to you, feeling bad for you leaving you.

"why aren't you drinking, lanny?" she asks, voice all high pitched it makes your ears ring. god, you have never wanted to leave somewhere as quick as you did here.

lando gives you a look that you don't have time to decipher before he turns back around to her to answer.

"well, we are going out tomorrow and i don't want to have hangover tomorrow." it's a simple explanation and it's the exact same he had told you when you were both getting ready at his. she grunts and grips his bicep maybe a little too tight for a friend, but again, what were you to do about it?

"ugh, you should just drink! remember when we used to go out partying all night? those were the days huh? no one tying us down?" this tips you over the edge and you decide that it's maybe better for you to leave before you can't control your words or actions anymore.

"i think i'm going to head home." you tell lando, no explanation. lando frowns - you can tell he wants to ask you whats wrong but he can't because she's literally pulling him away from you and towards the bar with what you can only describe as an evil smile on her face.

you decided that lando has to know. this conversation was not going to be easy.

★・・・・・・★

after talking to lando you realise that he actually did start to notice how weird she was acting so it did make you feel a little better. what you weren't looking forward to though was a dinner to celebrate her birthday that you had both been invited to. you were kind of surprised that you had even been invited but still you both decided to dress up and attend the fancy dinner.

lando had promised you in the car that he wasn't putting up with her bullshit tonight and he was just going to tell her directly - her birthday or not. it didn't make you want to attend the dinner anymore than before though.

as lando pulls the car into a parking space around the side of the building, he pulls the hand break up and pulls your hand into his with a promising look in his eyes.

"i know you really didn't want to come tonight - you don't know how much it means to me that you have. i promise the minute she starts i'll call her out and put a stop to it. in front of everyone if i have to." the look in his eyes is enough to tell you that his words hold meaning so you believe him and let his press a sweet kiss to your hand before he;s running around the front of the car to open your car door for you and lead you into the restaurant.

making your way inside you catch the eyes of all of her posh, stuck up friends and they all give you the exact same dirty look that, if it was anyone else, would've made you curl up and wish the night to end so you could go home and cry about it but that was not on the cards for tonight, so you put on a brave face and walk towards the two free seats, clinging onto lando's hand. he gives you a quick squeeze.

the dinner doesn't actually go too bad, but you think that's because you aren't seated close enough to her for her to actually interact with you or lando. you both just keep to yourselves until the end of the night approaches and offers of heading to a nearby club to celebrate further are being thrown around the table like confetti from a canon.

"you'll come out with us, right?" you hear her call from the other end of the table, she was always so desperate to make conversation with lando she would scream at him from miles away. it wouldn't take an idiot to notice lando's discomfort so that's when he decides to excuse himself and head to the toilets to 'freshen up', leaving you alone in your own personal version of hell.

the table was loud, it had been all night but you can hear the words she brags loudly, almost like she wanted you to hear over the bustling crowd surrounding you.

"yeah she's just place holder, lando told me that i was the one for him and that he's just looking for an excuse to throw her to the curb!" her voice is as shrill as usual, maybe even more.

you don't think yourself to be a secure person much but you think this moment may go down as the one moment in your relationship with lando that you think that you are the girl you would pick over anyone else. you feel the rage boil up inside you and just before you can stand up to call her out of her complete and utter bullshit of a lie, a hand is resting softly on your shoulder and before you know it you get a fleeting glimpse of your boyfriend's cheeky smile before he is practically eating you whole.

you and lando have had your fair share of passionate kisses throughout the course of your relationship but every single one of them had been in the privacy of one of your homes, so to kiss him like this where anyone could see, where she could see? it filled you with so much joy and possessiveness that you could never imagine you were even capable of.

lando pulls away with a smile but is leaning back in for a few more quick kisses like he can't get enough of you before he is properly pulling away and holding a hand out for you to take. the entire table is silent, the first time the whole night you think. holding your hand just like when you both arrived, lando throws some cash on the table.

"that's for our meals, thanks for the invite but i don't think we'll be seeing each other again...ever." lando says before practically dragging you to the car, desperate to get you home.

#lcriedlastnight #f1 imagine #f1 fluff #f1 x reader #f1 fic #f1 fanfic #lando norris fluff #lando norris imagine #f1 angst #lando norris x reader #lando x reader #lando norris one shot #lando norris x you #ln4 one shot #ln4 x y/n #ln4 imagine #ln4 fic #ln4 fluff

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aleskie-hischier · 2 days ago

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Best Friend | Lando Norris x Reader Summary: This is what it feels like to be in love with your best friend

Warnings: None :)) Just fluffy moments in your relationship with Lando!

“You promised not to laugh,” Lando said, pouting as you tried—and failed—to hide your grin behind your hand. The corners of your mouth betrayed you, threatening to give way to the laugh you were desperately holding back.

“I’m not laughing,” you managed to choke out, though your eyes told a very different story.

“You’re being mean,” he all but whines.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you said, standing up from the bed and reaching to ruffle his curls, “It’s really not that bad.”

It was that bad.

His haircut was…well, let’s just say the barber had done him no favors. The fade was patchy and uneven, and the length was so short it bordered on tragic. But despite the mess, he looked undeniably cute—though you weren’t about to let him off the hook without teasing him first.

“Now you’re just lying,” he muttered, his lips pursing as he entwined his fingers with yours.

“I’m not,” you insisted, cupping his face with your free hand, thumb brushing gently over his cheek. “Look, it’s easy to cover with a cap, and your helmet does all the work during races anyway. No one will even notice.”

“You noticed.”

“I live with you,” you said, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. “I see you every day.” Another kiss, this time on the other cheek. “I notice everything about you.”

A soft, breathy chuckle escaped him as he let his head rest on your shoulder. “Do you think I still look pretty?”

“You always look pretty,” you assured him, wrapping your arms around his waist. He pulled you closer, his embrace warm and comforting. “No barber could ever ruin that.”

A beat passed, then you added with a teasing smile, “But, for the record, your hair does look like shit, bubba.”

He laughed, the sound filling the room and lighting up your heart. You had a feeling his favorite cap was going to get a lot of mileage in the days ahead—or at least until he decided his hair was back to normal.

You were typing away on your laptop, racing against deadlines before the upcoming race weekend. Clearing your workload now meant you could fully enjoy cheering on your boyfriend as he gave it his all on home turf. Normally, staying focused was easy—especially with the promise of a weekend spent as his biggest cheerleader, a role you thoroughly loved.

But today? Today, your boyfriend was making it very difficult to get anything done.

“Lando,” you warned, your tone a mix of exasperation and amusement, “I swear, if you don’t let go, you’ll be at Silverstone alone.”

Lando was currently bent over, arms wrapped snugly around you as you worked at the dining table. Every so often, he would hum some random tune and sway side to side, forcing you to sway along with him.

“I thought you liked my hugs,” he teased, placing a kiss on the top of your head. You could practically feel the mischievous smile on his lips—he knew exactly what he was doing.

“I do like your hugs,” you said, shooting him a pout, “But only when they don’t mess with me while I’m working.”

He chuckled, planting another kiss to your hair, clearly pleased with his antics, before finally releasing you and plopping down in the chair next to yours.

“Oh! I’m free!” you exclaimed dramatically, throwing your arms up in mock surprise before sticking your tongue out at him. Without missing a beat, you turned back to your laptop, ready to dive back into work.

For a while, the room was peaceful. He sat quietly, scrolling through his phone, the occasional TikTok audio or soft giggle breaking the silence. It was nice—a balance between shared space and focus.

And then he got bored.

You could feel it before you saw it. The subtle shift in his energy, the way his chair creaked as he stood, the deliberate slowness of his steps. You didn’t look up, hoping he’d wander off to his game room or find something else to occupy himself.

But, of course, that wasn’t what was going to happen.

He stopped behind you, standing there silently as if planning his next move. You kept typing, pretending not to notice, but your fingers hesitated when he suddenly dragged your chair back from the table.

“Lando, wha—!” You gasped, only for him to scoop you up, lifting you into his arms.

“Hey!” you protested, half-laughing, as he carried you bridal style to the couch. He plopped you down gently before settling himself on top of you, his head resting right over your heart.

With his weight anchoring you and his arms snug around your waist, your laptop—and your deadlines—were officially forgotten.

You let out a soft sigh, your hands instinctively beginning to draw lazy circles on his back. “You’re so lucky I tolerate you,” you teased, your tone light but affectionate.

“You love me, actually,” he countered, his voice muffled against your shirt. You could feel his lips curve into a smug smile.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” you replied, rolling your eyes even though he couldn’t see.

Undeterred, he nuzzled deeper into you, his curls tickling your chin. “You do,” he insisted, his words vibrating through your chest.

You chuckled, the warmth of his presence making it impossible to argue. “I do. I really do.”

“We’ve seen that movie a million times. We need to watch something else,” Lando groaned, leaning back against the couch cushions.

“But, Lando! It’s Mean Girls! You can never get enough Mean Girls!” you shot back, clutching the remote dramatically.

“You can,” he insisted, his eyes narrowing at you with a mix of exasperation and fondness. “Especially when we’ve watched it like a million times. Every single movie night, love. Every. Single. One. For the last two months.”

“It’s a great movie,” you mumbled, pouting.

Lando rolled his eyes, though the smile tugging at his lips gave him away. He slid closer from his side of the couch, his hand brushing yours. “It is a good movie,” he admitted, leaning in to place a quick kiss on your cheek. “But I swear, I can recite it line by line at this point.”

His lips found yours for a brief, teasing kiss before he added, “Besides, we need to watch new films. Preferably ones that don’t inspire you to cut holes in my tank tops so I, quote, ‘look like Regina George.’”

You pouted, pursing your lips dramatically. “They’re a timeless fashion statement.”

“Timeless, my ass,” he laughed, shaking his head as his hand lingered on yours, “But fine. One last time, okay? After this, we’re expanding your movie taste.”

“Deal,” you said with a grin, snuggling into his side as the opening credits rolled.

The two of you fell into an easy silence, the flickering glow of the TV casting soft shadows across the room. As the movie played, Lando’s hand traced absentminded shapes along your arm, and your head rested comfortably on his shoulder.

Midway through, his voice broke the quiet. “When we’re old and gray,” he murmured, his tone soft, “And we’re still arguing about what to watch, you better have more suggestions than just Mean Girls.”

You chuckled, cuddling closer to him. But the movie wasn’t holding your attention anymore. Instead, your thoughts wandered to the idea of growing old together.

You imagined those future arguments, the two of you bickering playfully in the living room of a house that had become a home. He’d probably still let you win, just like he always did, and you’d end up asleep together on the couch halfway through whatever you’d picked.

You pictured racing each other down the stairs, canes in hand, laughter filling halls lined with photos of your children and grandchildren. You saw the teasing, the banter, the moments when he’d drive you up the wall—only to have you laughing seconds later. And no matter what, you’d always go to bed holding each other’s hand.

“I’m glad I fell in love with you,” you murmured as the ending credits rolled. Lando stretched, shifting to shake off the stiffness of sitting on the couch for so long.

“Oh yeah?” He glanced down at you with a playful smirk. “What makes you say that?”

You leaned closer, resting your head against his chest. His warmth and the steady rhythm of his heartbeat felt like home. “Life would be so boring without you,” you said softly.

He chuckled, his arms lazily draping around you. “Well, I am pretty fun.”

“But also…” Your gaze flicked up to his face, taking a moment to admire the myriad of colors in his eyes. “You’re my best friend.”

His lips twitched into a grin. “Don’t let Max hear you say that, love. He might have a lot to say about you claiming his title.”

You scoffed, pulling away with mock indignation as he laughed. “Never mind. I take it all back,” you teased, standing to make your way to the kitchen for a snack.

But before you could take a step, Lando caught your wrist and tugged you back. You landed with a soft laugh in his lap, his arms wrapping securely around you from behind. He pressed a kiss to the back of your neck, the warmth of his lips sending a gentle shiver down your spine, before resting his chin on your shoulder.

“I don’t think I could’ve fallen this hard for anyone else,” he said, his voice low and filled with sincerity, “There’s no one else I’d rather love than you.”

You could feel his smile against your skin, and it made your heart swell.

“You’re my best friend, too,” he added, his words wrapping around you like a soft blanket.

You turned slightly to look at him, your smirk returning. “Don’t tell Fewtrell that. He might get sad.”

He laughed, the sound warm and genuine, filling the quiet of your apartment. The dim glow of the apartment lights cast long shadows, but neither of you paid them any mind. All that mattered was the comfort of being together, blanketed in a world that was just yours.

Silently, as you laid in his arms, you wished that things would never change.

#lando norris x reader #lando norris imagine #lando norris fic #lando norris #f1 fanfiction #formula one fic #formula one x reader #✩ allie's writing ✩

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nsharks · 2 days ago

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bleeding blue | apocalypse au

part twenty-one —other parts

pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley x fem!reader words: 3.5k tags: death. blood. cannibalism mention. zombies of course. AFAB reader. single dad ghost. there will be sex but it isn’t here yet. slow burn!!! enemies to lovers. summary: After losing your companions, you run into a skull-masked man and his daughter. They are your last hope for survival. a/n: I'm sorry lmaooo nine months... hopefully we can finish this thing!

The last bed you laid in smelled like lemon mint detergent. It was the full bed in your sister's guest room. Everything was crisp and white. They rarely had guests besides you. Some of your clothes stayed in that closet, one of your toothbrushes stayed in the connected bathroom, waiting for your visits. You'd awaken that last morning not thinking you'd never sleep in bed for another five years. You left it unmade.

This bed smells like pine and warmth.

Ghost's room is small and dimly lit. The ceiling slants so that one end is not tall enough for him to fully stand. There's a dresser and a nightstand, leaving only a sliver of floorspace.

After the metal latch on the door clicks shut, Ghost lays the blanket down and grabs a pillow for himself. That leaves the bed to you. Springs creak beneath your weight as you silently slip under a heavy, rustic quilt. The years-embedded scent of him wraps around you like a drug-induced fog. You hesitate to move, frozen as he flicks off the light. You wonder if he always locks the door or did it for you, to make you feel safer.

Only when his moving about ceases do you allow yourself to get comfortable. You cocoon your body under the quilt and turn to your side, closing your eyes.

A thought reopens them minutes later. You roll onto your back and speak into the darkness. "Have you known about this Switzerland place?"

For a moment, you think he's already asleep. Then, from below the bed by your feet, he says, "Heard of it."

"That is what you guys talked about, isn't it?" you ask absentmindedly.

"Among other things."

You sit up so you can see him, but all that you can make out is a dark shadow. "Care to share?"

"Some things are on a need-to-know basis," is all he gives.

"And I don't need to know?"

"Precisely."

It stings; you don't know why. "Some team we make, huh? Or I guess we're only a team when you need me to do something for you."

You quickly realize how petulant you must sound. The shadow sits upright. "They asked me to go with them. I said no. Too far. Too many variables that are hard to predict, and she's not ready for them. Happy?"

Happy—no, but relief replaces the slight uncertainty in your gut since your conversation with Nereida. Joining them was shut down. You wouldn't tell her, but their idea sounds asinine, whether or not that commune exists. The trip will be risky at best, fatal at worst. You're tempted to ask him how many days he thinks they'll recoup here before continuing their journey, but opt for sleep instead. He seems done with the conversation, too, lying back down. Then, you have the best sleep you've had in years in his bed.

When the sun turns pink, you awaken to a room void of Ghost. He's gone. It should be expected, but you'd thought he might wake you up to train like normal. Though, the past twenty-four hours haven't been normal. You look around, the details of his room more visible now. On the nightstand, there is a stack of books and you scan the titled spines. Mostly classics. One Hemingway. All tattered and read frequently. Beside them lays a silver chain attached to a dog tag. You gently finger the engraved metal so as not to move it out of place: Simon Riley.

Snooping through his things is more tempting than you're willing to admit. You slip out of bed, socked feet padding over to the dresser. There are mostly papers. His map with the marked circle around what you now realize is Switzerland, a notepad with scribbled half-cursive on it, and then a faded photo beneath it. You freeze, breath hitching, as if you've done something dangerous just by stumbling upon it. Curiosity is thick in your chest, difficult to ignore. Gentle fingers reach to shift it out, revealing a picture that you know right away is of Blue and her mom. Blue is a baby. Maybe one year old. A woman with light brown hair holds her up, sitting on a bench in front of a playground. She's pretty and young. There is a sadness when you wonder if this is the only picture he has of them—before her death. Then, there is another feeling. You swallow it.

You quickly slip the photo back just the way you found it and leave the room. The living room is quiet, people still sleeping. Price and Kyle's blankets are empty, but Kyle is the only one you spot outside. He sits on a tree stump, using a knife and some soap to shave his beard. He looks at you the moment you step outside.

"Good morning." He splashes a scoop of water on his smoothed jaw.

You tuck your hands in your pockets. "Morning."

Without the facial hair, he looks even younger. Maybe in his early thirties. He pushes to his feet and you are reminded of his above-average height, though he is not as monstrous as Ghost. His form is lean, all muscle, with much less ink on his exposed skin. It is now you notice a scar across his jaw. Thick but faded. It trails halfway down his neck.

"Do you know where Ghost went?" you ask.

"Working on that truck of his. With Price."

A glance over your shoulder confirms it; you spot some movement behind the cabin where you know his truck sits. Guess that means no training. You nod. "So, um, you were in the military together, right?"

He takes a moment to look at you before answering. "Yeah. Same unit. Price was our captain."

"I kind of figured. He is... captain-y."

"'Captain-y.' Good way of putting it."

You're ready to turn away when he asks, "I hate to pry, but I admit I'm curious how you ended up here with him."

You force a smile. "It's not a very interesting story, sorry."

"I'm not looking for entertainment."

"What are you looking for, then?" You sound more defensive than you mean to.

He shrugs. "Just curious, is all. You're a bit young."

"I'm not fucking him if that's what you're getting at." His brows lift to his hairline, and you're almost embarrassed for assuming that is what he was thinking, but before he can speak you add, "And you're young, too. I can handle myself just as you can."

"Of course." He shakes his head, moving his hand over his chest in earnest. "I apologize if I insinuated otherwise. Though, I am older than you."

"How old?"

"Let's see. Thirty-one last November. Or maybe it's just thirty. Hard to keep track, innit?" His smile is more genuine than yours, flashing white teeth. Then, his face turns more serious and he sighs through his nose, head tilting. "Look, I understand."

"Understand what?"

"I don't know your story, but I'm sure it is a gruesome one, and you have every right to feel uncomfortable. We'll be out of your hair soon enough. I appreciate you having us, though."

You want to tell him it's not like you have a choice; you're not the host here. But he already knows that. He's trying to be nice. "Thank you," you tell him honestly.

Kyle bends to pick up his knife, wiping it off on his shirt. "So what did you need Ghost for?"

"Oh, nothing really."

"Care to accompany me for some breakfast, then?"

You consider saying no, but you need to hunt, anyway. Besides, you don't think he'd try anything in broad daylight. In another life, you may have looked at him with a more appreciative eye. But as you wade in silence through the woods, bow cinched to your back, you study him like an opponent. He's more agile than Ghost, likely quicker. When he crests the hill, it's hard to match his strides.

Small conversation picks up by the pond and you find yourself easing up. You learn he's from London, too.

"What part?"

"Islington. I shared an apartment with my girlfriend. The rent was shit but it was worth it. Top floor loft with a good view and this insane Turkish bakery just below us." His tone is so casual you forget where you are for a second, until he suddenly throws his knife. It pins a squirrel to one of the trees. He bends to dislodge it and carries the dead animal, blood on his fingers.

You keep walking. "What happened to her?"

"I had to make a choice. Go to London and find her, or go with Price and get my nephew, niece, and sister-in-law."

The understanding hits with the force of a fallen tree, and you pale.

He notices your expression and continues. "I don't regret my decision. I've come to terms with it. There was no chance of me finding her in London, not with how quickly the infection spread there and the phone lines went out. I didn't even know where to look for her. At work? Home? Up north, things weren't as bad yet. I got in contact with my sister-in-law, Ameena, and told her to meet us at the small college up there where Nereida worked."

You recall what Nereida said, about Ari's mom and sister dying, so you don't pry about them. "What about your brother? Ari's dad?"

"He died before shit happened. He was in the military, too. Different unit. Multiple gun wounds while in Afghanistan a few years back."

"I think your story is more gruesome than mine," you admit.

His lips twitch ruefully. "Not a competition. Gruesome world, gruesome stories."

A more comfortable quiet settles. He is not so different than you, you realize. Only difference is he still has his nephew to look after.

The sun is already high, enough to make a collar of sweat appear on your shirt. There is a small dirt ridge you have to climb and the effort reminds you of the still-healing bruises on your body. A skirt of movement catches your eye and this time, you act quick. You use your bow to kill a squirrel up on a branch. It falls to the ground.

"Damn." Kyle whistles, low and long, as you wriggle the arrow free. "Hell of an aim you got."

"I'm... alright."

"No need to be modest."

You straighten and wipe your bloodied hand on your shirt. The movement lifts it, and you hear him suck in a breath behind you. A hand touches your shoulder, gentle than firm, as he spins you around. You're confused, then follow his gaze to the sliver of exposed skin on your hip. It's a gross yellow.

"Twix." His voice lowers, and his friendly eyes are confused.

Shit. "It's not whatever you're thinking."

"I'm thinking someone has put their hands on you." He frowns and shifts closer. "I know you have no reason to tell me things, but I can tell you I am not okay with that shit, no matter who it is."

You inwardly cringe. "Ghost is not... hitting me. Well, he is—"

"Fucking hell—"

"No, no. I asked him to." The bewildered look on his face makes you palm your forehead. "Not like that. Jesus. We train together, okay?"

"Train together," he repeats, shoulders loosening.

"Yeah, like to help me get stronger." The embarrassment remains on your cheeks. "It's silly, really."

Kyle shakes his head and grins, clearly amused now that he knows you're not being abused against your will. "Not silly. Thought you two were into some kinky shit for a second there." He continues walking over a patch of dryer land, stepping onto a small rock and chuffing a breath under his nose. "Wouldn't have been surprised."

Your fingers absentmindedly tighten around the squirrel's limp neck. Your feet are frozen for a moment as you shake off a deep blush, then call out behind him. "Did you miss the part where I said I'm not fucking him!"

He simply laughs.

---

The rest of the day passes in languid warmth.

It's weird having so many people here, but you try to continue your day like usual, skinning the kill and washing your clothes. You learn more about Nereida as you eat together. You haven't had a female friend in... a long time. Save Blue. She used to be an arts professor at a private school. Sculpting, mainly. That is how she came to meet John Price, when he attended one of her galleries, buying a piece from her for far more than the listing price. He was just looking for a way to take me out to dinner. The way she speaks of him is that of a doting wife, despite everything they've been through. She tells you they were engaged before the infection. A makeshift ceremony at their old camp was the best they could do.

"No wedding ring, but we do both have this." She pulls up her sleeve to show you a small scar carved on her shoulder—a faint letter 'J'. Price has the 'N'.

You're not sure what Ghost needed to fix on his truck that morning, or why it was important to do it with Price, but when you returned with Kyle, something felt off. Ghost's tension was palpable. He usually seems in thought, but even more-so. When Ari takes Blue for a quick ride on the horse—apparently Cherry used to be owned by his parents on their family ranch in Newcastle—he watches for only a minute before disappearing somewhere with Price. You pretend to need something from the cabin. You sneak around the back way, finding them again by his truck, muttering in low voices. Only pieces reach your ears.

"...through the rural parts. Not a straight path..."

"...could take months..."

"Got quite a bit of those."

Then, he's showing Price something under the tuck bed's tarp where you catch sight of that kayak once again.

"Find it?"

A low voice in your ear. You startle and turn around.

"Huh?"

Kyle raises a brow. "You said you needed something."

Your hand flattens against the side of the cabin. "Right. Um, I just—"

Boots scuffle behind you. You don't need to turn to know Ghost and Price have detected your presence, making their way over. Kyle's gaze flicks to them and you feel like a child who's been caught by her parents—embarrassment laced over your irritation. You wouldn't have been eavesdropping if they weren't so secretive.

"Everything alright?" Price's timbre is calm. Your neck prickles where you feel Ghost's stare.

You find yourself nodding. "Yes. Just fine. Sorry."

It gets cooler by nightfall. Your knee bounces slightly under the table during dinner. You listen to Blue explain the rules of battleship to Ari. You don't eat much more of the meat you caught with Kyle. With a mostly empty stomach, you enter Ghost's room after everyone else has gone to bed. His broad form hovers over his dresser. For a moment, you fear he's somehow noticed that you looked at his things earlier. But then you realize his eyes are glued to the map, and he's penciling some things on the margins.

He looks up when you close the door behind you. His brows are deeply knotted.

"Figured you would be sleeping out there for tonight."

"What?"

"Seems like you feel just fine around them now."

He looks away from you as if you're not even there. He places the map down and opens the top drawer. Without warning, he pulls out a clean shirt and changes, revealing his bare chest. His shoulders flex as he slips it over his head by the collar. Then, he moves toward you, eyes dully expectant.

"Being asleep near them is different than hanging out during the day," you finally respond. Mouth feeling dry, you swallow. "What's going on? I can tell that you... you've been thinking about something."

"You mean you've been listening." His brow lifts. He shakes his head before you can defend yourself. "I am always thinking about something."

"Would it kill you to not be cryptic for once? I thought that we were..."

"That we were what?"

"Being honest with each other now."

A dark, slightly amused breath leaves his nose. He contemplates your words for a moment. "It is my plan to go there," he then says. "I'm not stupid. I know she needs more than what I can offer her here. It has always been my plan. Just not now."

"Because she's not ready," you breathe.

"Because she's not ready," he repeats, chin tilting. His eyes darken, veering to the left. "Price seems to disagree."

Your nails curl in your palms. "And?"

He looks back at you. "And I am thinking of your camp. What happened to you. I can't grow complacent."

The mention unsettles your stomach. Of course, he needn't elaborate, not when the memory is more fresh than you'd like. "But going to Switzerland would take days, weeks. And they have no idea what they might run into out there. It's not like we have inside info on the state of France and—and wherever the hell else we'd have to cross through to get there. They could be worse than London."

"I'm aware."

"So what, then? You're considering it now? I thought you told them no," your hushed voice edges a bit harsher, and the pulse in your neck quickens.

You hate what you think he's saying, even if you understand it. He has his daughter's future to think of. Even if he were to try finding some safe community when she's older, the opportunity of traveling with two other military-experienced men would be gone, along with whatever weapons and supplies they bring to the table.

The contemplation is vivid in his eyes as you study them. Ghost's head lowers, dipping down at the same time that he emits a harsh breath, and you realize how close the two of you have become in this quiet exchange, keeping your voices safe from any awakened ears. So close, in fact, that his exhalation hits the space between your neck and collarbones, where a small patch of skin tingles with alertness.

His voice emerges low and thoughtful after a drawn moment. "I haven't fully decided."

You nod with deep breath to steady yourself, taking in his answer. "Will you tell me when you do?"

"I can do that."

And that's all he offers—four words that give a minuscule amount of comfort, because now bitter uncertainty has snuck upon you once again. Your fate lays in his decision. You can't survive on your own, not even here, so if he leaves you have to go with him. The impending doom fogs your brain. You fail to notice his hand has moved, pinching the hem of your shirt between thumb and forefinger, and beginning to carefully lift it up. A breath hitches at the top of your throat and your eyes unfurl, only to find that he is pensively looking down at your exposed stomach.

"What the fuck are you—"

You're cut off when his bent knuckles gently brush over your mottled abdomen, sweeping down the sore midline, leaving you frozen. It's a thoughtful, slow touch—calloused skin against smooth softness. His thumb traces a particularly bad one by your hip, causing your muscles to flutter as a pleasant heat blossoms. For the second time today, your bruises are under scrutiny, and you curse yourself for not applying more of that paste on them.

"They're healing well," he murmurs, more to himself than to you, and lowers the shirt back down. He steps back. Eyes find yours. "Don't get too comfortable."

You blink dazedly, then stiffen. "Um, what?"

"Sleeping in my bed. My room isn't a hotel."

The change of topic gives you whiplash. "You're the one who made me sleep here," you remind him pointedly. "I'll just take the floor tonight, and you have the bed."

"You're a woman. Take it."

"As if you give a fuck about being a gentleman."

"You're right, I don't." A dismissive shoulder shrugs, then his back turns to you. He lays in the bed before you have the chance to even move, which leaves the blanket on the floor for you.

You should've just accepted the bed.

Once the room is shrouded in darkness, you bury your head in the pillow.

"Comfortable?" he says sarcastically above you.

"Fuck off."

Then it's silent. You don't sleep nearly as well.

#simon ghost riley x you #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost #cod #john soap mactavish #john price #kyle gaz garrick #zombie apocolypse au

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acid-ixx · 19 hours ago

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no pain, no gain, right?

"is this all a game, or are they all secretly masochists?!"

nah, imaging being kidnapped by the batfam, neglected or not, romantic or platonic, and being expected to treat your abduction as merely normal, to love them like you've known them for your entire life rather than strangers who randomly decided that you're the object of affection they'd focus on their attention on one day—

do they honestly think you'd fall for their honeyed words? of course not! you're fucking trapped with both men and women alike with physical capabilities enough to trap you in a headlock or in a bear hug. they could kill you with a damn finger jabbed into your neck. is that not a valid enough reason for you to try and constantly fight them?

if you're a person bound on the feistier side, the first course of action you'd commit on, say, dick who's known to be the most physically affectionate, the neediest of them all - who's constantly kissing you, playing with your hair and laying his head on your chest - would be your nails digging deep into his skin and dragging it along his back, or trying to throw a punch into tim's face when you feel he's been staring into you rather than at you far too deeply for your liking, watching the blood drip down his nose like a faucet right after, as long as it means his eyes would leave your body for just a damn second.

whatever they're doing, even if they're always assuring you that they're doing this out of love, out of protection, out of their deep-seated paranoia that out there, you're not safe, you won't survive; their actions are all done for you — yet they'll always be met with you threatening to bite or chew their faces off. they're not your damn family, or lovers, or whatever fantasies they think they could reenact with you, and they know damn well that you won't be giving up soon, not at all—!

yet you don't know that behind your fiery side are those willing to let the fire burn much longer, those who throw more logs and gasoline into the ever-burning pit of rage and spite that crackles at your heart.

jason trying to trap you into his muscly arms only warrants your fight-or-flight instincts, akin to a gothamite walking past the crime alley, kicking and scratching at the man just wishing for a day of comfort as he sighs and nuzzles his head into the crown of your hair, breathing deeply to take in your scent, as if you're not currently pulling his hair out. he'll let you bite on his hard neck, or kick at the fat of thighs or even his crotch with no reaction other than tightening his already caged grip on your body.

a body much frailer compared to everybody else's. a mere gazelle to a lion ready to be chased anytime soon.

bruce placing a hand behind your back will only result in you digging deeply into his forearms, wide eyes and heaving breaths that reflects not only utter fear but a thinly-veiled threat of another session of attempting to uppercut him, like you're some wild prey ready to make a run if he dares push the boundaries you settled for. yet all he does is try his best to warmly smile at you without any weariness, not even any vigilance of your future actions, and most especially not fear.

how long are you going to fight them? why are even you doing this? to soften the blow? to make them wish they regret even taking you away from the first place? or do you wish for them to feel a semblance of fear you felt whenever their toned arms surprised you from when they appeared before a shadow? do they not know just how deeply terrified you are of them, that you're doing all this because you're afraid of their strength?

except, what you expected never came. you would've been fine with them punishing you, slowly losing their inhibitions, snarling at you every damn time you snap, becoming tired of your antics and threatening to throw you out, even mocking you for your weakness; anything...!

but not whatever this is.

not the stupidly gentle smiles, or the droopy eyes that look as if they've fallen in love even more at just how much droplets of blood you were able to procure with another set of scratches against jason's forearms. not the astounded whistles at another bruise you managed to punch into steph's shoulders after a momentary lapse of shock from another one of her back hugs— as of this were some all sick form of therapy. you know they're taking your daily fights seriously, you know it because they always take note of it by staring at each other every time you manage to injure them! but fuck, why are they just letting you do as you will?

since when have your nails been longer, sharper even?

why is jason just... staring at you, his gaze proud and mighty, not out of his attempts at mocking you but looking genuinely so gratified. there's rivulets of crimson dripping down his neck all the way to the clavicle until it reaches his upper pecs, multiple indents of scars already faded, now overlayed with fresher, even deeper ones; displayed like a museum artifact by his loose tee. his fingers, shaky and equally scarred, moved to run over the inflicted injuries, touching and pressing deep, as it just as quickly finds its way to his mouth, lapping at the blood, his eyes never leaving your equally shivering form; dread and disgust curling into your very being.

he takes deep breaths after lapping his fingers clean, his fists are curled together like yours; except your nails are stained with blood, jason's, a stench that curdles deep into your nostrils. and for a second you feel something scarier than fear, an immeasurable pit of doom that looms over your back. for a second, you thought this would be the last time you'll ever see the light again. just as quickly as you scratched him, you try to retort with an excuse.

"jason, i'm- i'm so sorry i didn't mean to—!"

"we get it now, angel...

this is your way of coping, right? it's all good, do as much damage as you could 's long as you get it all out of your system, 'kay?

and thanks, by the way. this one's even better than the one you gave me just earlier."

what does he mean? what's even better...? you just- you just gave it your all trying to engrave your sharp nails into already scarred skin; why is he talking to you as if he's congratulating you rather than scolding you?

no, no, no... he shouldn't be all like this... why is everybody staying silent all throughout? why do your ears wring, every sound mapped around the house turned into one singular sound? this shouldn't be happening, no! he should be mad, should be punching you, bruce should've broken you both up the moment he noticed your hands make a way for jason's neck— yet since when did anybody try to interrupt?! the only damn time, god... the only time they ever do is when you try to inflict injuries on yourself, but never on others... just why?

there's sudden clapping that distracts you from your thoughts, from dick's or duke, you don't know? one of them is saying something and you can't comprehend it other than one-liners and muffled, incomprehensible words.

"—'m jealous of you," that's duke's voice! what else is he saying? why is he envious? of what exactly? the fear doesn't settle down unlike all the other times, there's tears that began brimming on your eyes and you still stand in the middle of the living room, the chandelier's light basking you in its ethereal glow, yet you feel the opposite. you're no angel as what's jason called you, and the people surrounding you are more like demons than anything else; witnessing your fall from grace, taking you away from your home whilst having the audacity applauding your presence as if you've fucking graced them.

and then steph coos, your head snaps to the direction of her grating "awe's!". you're convinced she's looking at jason like he's been vindicated for some crime, eyes you never knew could hold so much anger and spite. you don't know why she does, you don't understand the hidden implications of her next words, you can only watch from a distance.

"that should've been me, y'know! that's so unfair of you!" her seething voice and hardened glare at the man subsided into your thoughts; who wishes to be hurt? who even wants to be the victim of your feisty glares and venomous insults? you know they don't like it when you stare at them with burning hatred— but why do they enjoy it when you physically scar them instead? when you punch at their noses and watch as the blood stains their clothes evidently?

and yet it only registered within your mind just now: how they never seem to patch up any of the marks you imprint on their body. it's only now that you realize that they always bare it right in front of everybody, some even wearing looser clothes that give others a peek of their skin in the more intimate places you've marked. there's bandages from when they go home after every patrol, there's casts that they wear after suffering through broken bones and dislocated limbs from the criminals they fight every night— but never with you, not even a gauze from when you've cut all too keenly into damian's cheeks, a deep gash that he's sported proudly throughout the following months with everyone else seething, even bruce seems envious of his own son.

"well, it's not my fault you didn't try hard enough, blondie. right, angel? guess they love me even more than you," his sultry words pierced through your mind, and for just a second, he was already at your side, hands weighing on your shoulder whilst his head makes its way to the crown of your head, leaning down to give you a lingering kiss on your forehead. he releases an airy laugh at the complaints that come after. and for a second, your claws were ready to retaliate from mere instinct, at how he dares treat the entire situation like a bragging right; but unlike last time, you try to hold back, shoulders sagging as you try to blink out the tears running down your eyes; all right after discovering their... sick fetishes.

fetishes you didn't know run deeper than just that. you don't even know of the competition they hold every night right after they put you to sleep, counting each and every scar, every pull of the hair, every bloodied nose, bruised eyes, scratched skin, cuts inflicted from knives and other sharp objects laying around, your very own murder attempts at your abductors; all tallied and inputted into barbara's coded system that tracks and points each and every injury. you don't know just how much they cherish these marks you left in their body, like medals dangling off their parts that showcase their dedication, their patience never dwindling at achieving your trust— bruce once said it was an unhealthy habit of yours, but dick retaliates, saying it's the only way they could get closer to you.

it's the only time that you willingly touch them, even if it's with animosity, with passion and hope that someday you'd maim them just hard enough to escape.

"don't even think tonight's over yet, todd. you all simply haven't seen what they've done to me just yet," now it's damian who butts in, with emerald eyes gleaming with emotions you're still unable to detangle. yet now there's hints of rage, a face that says he's ready to compete with what jason has to offer now, hands caressing the cloth he wears that hides an injury enough to compete with the pain you've inflicted upon jason, an injury you're far too familiar with.

he's the youngest, and sometimes, you feel the most fear trying to discern why he's too possessive of your time, of your space and your presence, all whilst sporting a glare that never seems to lighten. but nothing ever changed the fact that he's the one who pushes all your buttons the most, he's the one with the cruelest words and sickening intentions, enough for you to treat him the foulest you ever could; with murder the only product in your mind every time he tries to even come closer to you.

and his words right now made you realize just how deeply you fucked up, and just how equally as fucked up your abductors truly are...

after all, you did just bite him earlier, in the space between his neck and shoulders from when he attempted to lick at your neck, making sure your teeth grates at his skin and nearly rips at flesh; to the point where the taste of blood that filled your mouth still lingers even until now.

reblogs and interactions are encouraged and appreciated.

a/n: art by yuto sano. written in 30 minutes sheesh. you know what's scarier than your kidnappers retaliating against you whenever you try to attack them? them taking it all in stride instead. the delusional belief that it's your own expressive way of getting used to their presence— even going as far as turning it into some sort of competition on who gets to have the most scars by the end of the day. i think that's absolutely more insane than just punishing you, and please tell me i was at least able to portray the feeling of doom well with this. i also hope this isn't too ooc. guys, pls pls pls tell me what you think of this, did this cook or what? interaction's been low lately and i've been feeling demotivated to write so uhm... also, if anyone wants me to write the difference between the romantic or platonic implications of masochist/sub batfam, just tell me and i will!

this is inspired by @on-leatheredwings post about masochist tim drake. she's literally the reason why i read the entire red robin comic run and was obsessed with him for like a long period of time because of her banger portrayal of him. and it's also inspired by @sleepingdiaryzzz's recent post, her writing is really immaculate and well thought out unlike mine LMAO and she's a tad bit underrated so you guys definitely should check her out! this post is also dedicated to @neerathebrightstar, thank u for being my coolest supporter ever.

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yuvany · 3 days ago

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꒰ 🥊 ꒱ ENHYPEN IN THE RING

// ENHYPEN as boxers and you're their number one prize.

─── ( on point ) OT7 x female reader contains : fluff + violence mentioned + pet names + est relationship + cameras + boxing!au + non!idol enha + not proofread 887 wc

reblogs + feedback always appreciated !!

𝗟𝗘𝗘 𝗛𝗘𝗘𝗦𝗘𝗨𝗡𝗚

Being in the boxing ring felt natural to him, but to you, it just felt as if you were praying for Heeseung to be alright every time he fought someone bigger than him. You didn't worry too much as you knew how talented he was and how he managed to beat people who mocked him for him size. Seeing someone fall to the ground never felt this relieving. You rushed up and enveloped his face in between your palms as you pressed a kiss to his lips for his victory. "Worried? For me?" He asks when you both are on your way home. "Yeah, what if you got really hurt?" You said, fidgeting with your thumbs, avoiding his gaze. "I'll be alright, yeah? I wouldn't want to worry you." Heeseung takes your hand in his.

(rest of the memebers below the cut)

𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗞 𝗝𝗢𝗡𝗚𝗦𝗘𝗢𝗡𝗚

always worried what you thought of him doing this sport. He knew the dangers of this sport, and he knew that he could get injured really badly, but something always pushed him to continue. Maybe it was the adrenaline rush. During matches, he'd always contemplate if he should quit or not after seeing other boxers bleed from their noses while being knocked out. That anxiousness quickly disperse as he sees you in the crowd, jumping and cheering his name. He puts on a smile for you. Some time later, Jay asked, "what do you think of me doing boxing?" You take a moment to think before answering, "I'm really happy that you're doing something you like, and I'll always support you." You reassure with a kiss to his cheek.

𝗦𝗜𝗠 𝗝𝗔𝗘𝗬𝗨𝗡

He adores the comforting speeches you give him before each match. How they always manage to calm him down when his nerves were playing a trick on him. "baby, I'm nervous." Jake says, his hands clutching to your side, not wanting to part from your closeness while his coach is urging him to hurry up. "Why are you so stressed, Jakey? We both know how awsome you'll be. Just go and do what you love." You say, slowly walking towards the ring so that he can jump in. Jake sighs and hums at your words. "You'll be watching, right?" He asks, his puppy eyes gleaming under the bright stadium lights. "Of course." You say, patting his back before you shoo him inside.

𝙋𝘼𝙍𝙆 𝙎𝙐𝙉𝙂𝙃𝙊𝙊𝙉

Sunghoon loves showing you off to everyone just as much as you love cheering him on. Post-match, you'd be the first person he'd run over to as the cameras pan over to the couple. He doesn't care about what anyone says or sees, and instead he presses his lips to your face over and over again making sure that the camera and audience does not miss his love for you. Sunghoon is a firm believer that your love is worth more than any prize he'll ever win in his boxing career. After each match he'd win, the internet would be flooded by news making headlines of you and him, which always managed to put a smile on your face.

𝗞𝗜𝗠 𝗦𝗨𝗡𝗢𝗢

Sunoo didn't brag about his wins, even though he had a swelling ego, he was humble. Before each match, he'd wrap his arms around you, his head snuggled against your shoulder as you pat his back, urging him to let go and get ready for the fight, "Sunsun, it's time to go now." He doesn't let go and you just sigh. "Promise me that we'll go on a date later." He compromises, and you easily agree to it, because it's a date? While in the ring, you cheer the loudest, and he hears you since you're standing in the first row, but when the match is over and he is the clear winner, he doesn't hesitate to shoot you a quick wink.

𝗬𝗔𝗡𝗚 𝗝𝗨𝗡𝗚𝗪𝗢𝗡

You loved watching him combat his friends during practice, but when it was time for the competition, you were starting to feel a bit anxious - your heart beating like a drum against your chest. You whisper a soft "good luck," before he gives you a bright smile and climed into the fighting arena. You watched with dread filling you up, and all you cared for was his safety. Seeing him get hit, you jump out of your seat with your palms hovering over your agape mouth that opened due to shock. You try to reassure yourself that he'd be okay, and luckily he was. "You really gave me a scare!" You lightly hit his shoulder, and he just pulled you against his chest.

𝗡𝗜𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗠𝗨𝗥𝗔 𝗥𝗜𝗞𝗜

You honestly didn't worry too much about him when he fought. Riki is a strong person, both physically and mentally. While he speaks to his coach during break time, Riki wraps one arm around your shoulders lazily as he leans his body against yours. You can hear his short breaths due to exhaustion, but you don't pull away, even though he is sweating. With a nod, there is little time left to spend and he presses a kiss to your head before he rushes back inside. When he wins, he runs over to you with a bright smile as cameras are aimed at him. One interviewer shouts, "What do you think of the prize you're winning." "What do you mean? I've got her right here!" He shouts back as he motions to you.

TAGLIST : @dollyhoon @itjengirl @saeivra @orimuraa @pshwrldd

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ssahotchnerr · 2 days ago

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Hotch x reader where he comes home from a long exhausting case across the country to find the smell of fresh gingerbread and reader in his hoodie and pjs decorating little gingerbread men and listening to christmas music (specifically nat king col's the christmas song is what I'm imagining) waiting for him to get home? Pls and thank<3

warmth of home

omg <3333 cw; fem!reader, established relationship, aaron self deprecating :(, mentions of haley, a lot a lot a lot of fluff <3 wc; 1.2k

After a long and gruesome case, Aaron couldn't begin to describe the instant comfort that filled his chest as he unlocked the door, knowing you were on the other side.

But upon his entry, the snowflakes lingering in his hair thawing instantly, the level of comfort was beyond what he expected. In addition to the inviting glow of the living room - you always left a light on - he was immediately met with the sweet smell of gingerbread. And so the first place he looked for you, the kitchen.

You had heard him enter, so when his footsteps entered the room, you turned from the oven. A spatula was in hand, and your cheeks were flushed due to the warmth of baking. With a breath of relief, "You're home."

Aaron's eyes softened at the sight of you, and while he was genuinely thrilled to see you, he had intended to force a bit more enthusiasm for your sake, but it was unnecessary. Just the sight of you caused all stressors to evaporate, he moved his feet forward.

With an arm around your waist, he immediately pressed his face into your neck. He was met with the traces of your shampoo, perfume, the warmth of your body, things he found himself yearning for when away. However, there was the obstacle of your hoodie, the hood bunching up and limiting both access and contact.

He released his hold, only to swiftly turn you around so you were facing him instead.

"This looks awfully familiar." His fingers moved to your sides, grasping the sweatshirt's fabric and pulling you flush against him by it.

Seeing you in his clothes warmed his heart in a way he couldn't describe; you, finding a way to feel close to him as he was gone.

You widened your eyes in dramatized innocence. You looked down, as if it were the first time you've ever seen it. "Does it?"

"I believe it's from my side of the closet?"

Your head tilted to the side, "Really? I don't recall."

"Looks better on you anyway." He laughed, leaning in and kissing you softly. Now, he was finally home. Some weight of the world alleviating off his shoulders.

You sensed it, knowing him better than he knew himself. After letting your lips linger for a couple seconds longer, you pulled away to peer up at him. "Rough case?"

Aaron grimaced slightly, brushing a strand of hair away from your face. "The past few days were long. Brutal. Just feeling more drained is all."

You pouted, the head-on view allowing you to study his face. His five o'clock shadow was more prominent, surprisingly he hadn't shaved in a day or two. A delay in upkeep, a sure sign of his stress also.

Your hand raised to his jaw, feeling the coarse hair. "I can tell. You look tired babe."

He felt it, too. The downward pull of his eyelids, exhaustion coursing through his body, longing to lay down (besides you) and adequately sleep.

Before his prolonged silence began worrying you further - he could already tell from the look on your face - he grabbed your hand, clasping it in his and holding to his chest. "I'm fine, seriously. Just couldn't wait to be home. Couldn't wait to see you."

"Then, I'm all yours until further notice. And more." You pecked his lips, your eyes filled with understanding and glowing with affection. You were here for him, to be the pair of listening ears if he so decided to share.

While he was tempted, he also wanted to push it aside, to revel in being home first and foremost. Aaron's gaze fell into the countertop behind you.

"You were quite busy." He commented, his eyes scanning the counter, an army of gingerbread men on the cooling trays.

"We were. But sadly my sous chef had a bedtime so it became more of a one woman job," Your arm fell behind him, rubbing his back softly. "It was nice though. Although not the intended purpose, it was a good distraction. I don't know what to do with myself when you're en route home." You laughed, pursing your lips into a soft smile. "I can't wait."

Aaron laughed softly, leaning his head against yours.

"I was just about to frost them." You quickly transferred the last few, "Wanna help? Or you can go unwind. Shower, put on something comfy, go to sleep. The choice is yours."

Despite his want for sleep, spending time with you was much more appealing. "I think I'll go with being your alternative sous chef."

With the Christmas music softly playing, and the tree illuminating in the background, an outsider would think this was a date night and not a last minute plan.

Despite how tired he looked, and surely felt, Aaron looked perfectly content icing the cookies. His suit jacket and tie were discarded, sleeves rolled up and shirt unbuttoned, exposing his t-shirt underneath. His concentration was unwavering, his eyebrows cast downward as he piped faces and other traits onto the cookies. Aaron found it grounding as well, a sense of normalcy after a treacherous caseload.

You soon found yourself focusing on him rather than the cookies, unwilling to tear your gaze away.

After a while his eyes lifted, to check on your work, but found your loving stare. His face pulled into amusement, familiar with your ogling tendencies. "What? Am I doing something wrong?"

"On the contrary," You briefly shook your head, with a smile, "You're just cute."

"You know..." Aaron began, giving his gingerbread man a tie. "I was thinking."

"You were?" Your eyes widened, feigning perplexity, "I'm so proud of you, honey."

"Ha ha." He playfully rolled his eyes, a smile forming on his lips. A laugh escaped you as his eyes dropped again, "Thank you."

Your nose crinkled in confusion, "For...?"

"For doing things like this, for Jack." Aaron candidly shared, setting a cookie aside. "Haley was always good at things like this too. Making the holidays more special, eventful. I'm not so savvy in the department. I probably would've never thought of baking gingerbread cookies."

"Aaron, you've would've. You have to give yourself credit where it's due. You're doing fine. You've been doing fine. Outstanding, even."

Aaron shrugged, the memory of the Halloween cookies he and Jack did flashing to mind. Maybe you weren't wrong. Truthfully, he didn't want to somehow taint Jack's future memories - that he wasn't doing enough and Jack wouldn't have fond, memorable things to look back on.

"I know he loves it," He gestured to the array of treats, "And I hope you know that I speak for the both of us when I say you're everything to us." His eyes met yours, meaning it with everything in him and more. "Thank you."

"Of course." You breathed out, blush tinting your cheeks.

While he was thinking crazy (and sadly understandably so), you felt tremendously touched. The small things never went unnoticed. "I'd do anything for Jack. For you. Always."

Aaron offered you a smile, his eyes shining in silent adoration before the two of you got back to work, love profusely radiating between the both of you throughout.

"We should save some for Jack to frost." Aaron broke the silence after a while, his sentence ending in a yawn as he got up from his seat.

"And you're worried you're not making things special for him. You sweet man and father." You scoffed lightly, embracing him and holding him tight. "C'mon, let's head to bed."

#aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner fluff #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner x fem!reader #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotchner imagine #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds x you #criminal minds drabble #aaron hotchner drabble #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds fanfiction #hotch imagine #criminal minds x fem!reader

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gotta-winwin · 2 days ago

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OT13 Reaction -- the aha moment

or...how they realize they're in love with you

seungcheol doesn't get that aha moment, falling in love isn't something that happens within seconds for him. it's like he's slowly drifting into love, not even realizing you've become the focal point of his entire existence. when it finally hits him, it's a quiet, simple moment. he's watching you make him breakfast in the morning, admiring you quietly from the kitchen counter. he zones out for a moment, blinking suddenly and realizing damn. that's my woman. and he knows he's ruined for life.

it's kind of silly, how jeonghan realizes he's in love with you. he's just returned home from a busy day at work, entering the house to find it empty. searching the place top to bottom, he's about to call you when - BOO - you jump out from one of the closets and scares the soul out of him. he's clutching his chest, watching as you collapse onto the ground in a fit of giggles. he can't help but laugh along, realizing through the chaos that he's found his soulmate, and he'd be damned not to admit he's in love with you.

joshua's a simple man by nature. he's easily happy in life, only needing his members, his job, his lifestyle, and of course, you. it doesn't take long into your relationship before he realizes he's in love, as the two of you take a stroll along the Han River after a long day. he's watching the setting sun reflect against your figure, taking his phone out to snap a few pictures. it's when he notices his camera roll is full of pictures of you does he think well, that's it. i'm in love.

upon meeting his family, jun notices how much work you've put into it. you're doing your best to speak his town's dialect, communicating with his parents in a language that made them most comfortable. his heart swells when he sees you amidst his childhood home, trading stories and eating with the people who raised him. it's when he notes that you look so perfect here that he realizes you just fit. he's in love.

as if everything else is with soonyoung, his aha moment is full of fireworks and pizzazz. having just finished the most record breaking performance of his life, he finds himself with one thought only: i want to go home. usually, it's because he's tired. but now, ever since you stumbled into his life, he finds himself wanting, needing, to go home so he can hold you and recite everything that happened today. he's practically thrumming with energy to rush home, and everyone around him sees what is so painfully obvious. he's so in love.

wonwoo's always credited himself to be a loner. not a lot of people can fit with his quiet personality, so when you offer the idea of "parallel play" he's a little confused. his heart warms when you explain that you don't mind doing separate things as long as you're in the same area, understanding that he needs more time to himself than others might. it's when you tell him you love him enough to compromise does he think im so in love with this girl right now.

woozi's used to writing songs dedicated to his fans and members. he sits down for another writing session, brainstorming ideas and the thought of you pops into his mind. he shrugs, thinking it might be nice to mix it up a bit, sitting down to write something about you. it's when he reads his own words back does he realize he's irrevocably screwed and so in love with you. thought about settling down, buying her a house and saying screw the music. yeah, he's in love.

having always been a realist, minghao doesn't necessary believe in true love, or love at first sight. he understands there's going to be someone out there for him, but he's skeptical that that someone is going to be perfect. all his beliefs go out the window the moment he sees you - it's like you're surrounded by a golden glow - and he realizes maybe love at first sight can be real.

seokmin loves and gives as easy as breathing. he's always been a generous guy, and it's when you sit him down and kindly remind him to leave some for himself does he stare at you and realize ok i've found the one. you've become that steadiness in his life that used to be just his members, and you love and give to him like it's as simple as breathing too.

having always been the resident cook, mingyu's eyeing your food creation like it's some kind of poison or drug. he had insisted you didn't need to cook for him, he's always been the cook and doesn't mind it, but you were stubborn and he relented. it's when the first bite blows him away does he realize he kinda misses having someone cook for him too. if you're this good at cooking i might just have to marry you, he says, ignoring how you blush, going back for another bite.

seungkwan's always been the entertainer. he doesn't mind it, he enjoys the fact it's his job to make everyone laugh. but when times get tough and he's in no mood to be the entertainer, you're right there to support him. it's when he gets home to you after a particularly rough day and you welcome him in with open arms, murmuring how he's done well and doesn't need to do more. it's when he realizes he can just be seungkwan - not seungkwan the entertainer, but just seungkwan - and he loves you for that.

vernon never really thought about finding the one. he always just assumed that they would find him. and that's exactly what happens, when you bump into each other at the movie theatre - both there alone just cause. it's when you're enthusiastically going band for band with vernon about movies that he's forced with the realization that shit. maybe i have found the one.

chan's always known he was in love with you. he doesn't like to admit it cause he thinks it makes him sound sappy, but he truly never questioned his love for you. it was a simple thing in his mind - this person makes me so fucking happy - i must be in love. and how could it not be simple for him? he's staring at you quipping about some joke to his friends and he's thinking i love you. he's watching you just wake up from a nap and he's thinking i love you. he sees a text from you on his phone mid-dance practice. i love you. he's always been in love with you because he loves everything to do with you.

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apomaro-mellow · 2 days ago

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inspired by this post

The last thing on Steve's mind was Eddie Munson. Even when he was all Dustin could talk about. He barely spared the guy a thought when they were in school together to begin with. Eddie occupied precisely zero percent of his brain space.

So it was kind of jarring to have him suddenly take up all the space he had. Steve had come to the school to pick up Dustin, Mike, and Lucas only to see them crowding around Eddie, who was holding one of the nurse's trusty ice packs to his face.

Steve usually just honked his horn to get them to run up and get in, but there was no separating them right now. And the moment Steve walked over, there was a cacophony of voices, shouting over each other. He had to shout even louder to get them to stop and Eddie's wince didn't go unnoticed.

Once it was quiet, Steve only asked. "Who?"

"Jason and his cronies", Mike spat out.

"All of you, car. Now."

"But-!"

"Now!", Steve ordered. The three of them shifted and Steve realized he needed to be specific because obviously they weren't going to leave Eddie behind. And leaving him wasn't a part of Steve's plan either.

"All of you. Munson, you get to ride shotgun."

He didn't wait long enough to see Eddie's expression before turning to get in his car. There was a mad scramble and once again they continued to shout at each other, trying to tell the story. Steve didn't even bother trying to quiet them then, settling for having to piece together the story.

He knew Lucas had tried out for basketball. Between Steve and Mr. Sinclair, he'd gone from hopeless to hopeful. Steve even warned Lucas that sometimes the team did a little hazing for the new recruits. Apparently the hazing went too far in Lucas' case and Eddie stepped in.

Steve never would have expected Eddie to care. To actually step between Lucas and danger when he'd gone out for sports instead of his weird nerd club. Steve found it easy to relate. When they got to his house, he didn't mean to, but basically manhandled Eddie to the bathroom where the first aid kit was.

"Umm-"

"Don't talk", Steve said. Both because he needed to work on his face and also because he wasn't sure what Eddie would say. This was weird, of course it was. But it was the right thing to do. Steve wondered when the right thing would start to feel less weird. After patching Eddie up, he sent him to the living room. Dustin had already turned the tv to something, taking advantage of the Harrington's sound system. And Mike and Lucas were already raiding the fridge.

"Don't get too comfortable", Steve said, hands on his hips. He sighed before heading up to his room. The nail bat was still in his trunk, but he wouldn't need a weapon that rough. When he came back downstairs, bat hanging over his shoulder, Eddie's non-swollen eye got wide.

"Where are you going with that?"

"Taking care of some business", Steve said. "If I'm not back in an hour, order some pizza. Eddie and only Eddie is allowed to drink the beers in the fridge."

There was a trio of groans, but Eddie was still to gobsmacked to speak.

"What the hell is he about to do?", he finally found the words once Steve was out the door.

"Probably gonna bust some kneecaps on Lucas' behalf", Mike said before crunching on a handful of potato chips.

Eddie looked to Dustin for confirmation. There was no way, right? But Dustin only grinned.

"I told you. Bad. Ass."

Eddie still didn't believe it even when Steve returned, a bit sweaty and hair slightly mussed, the beginning of a bruise on his cheek but otherwise unscathed.

He had to believe it when he found out Jason and a few other players suddenly had broken hands or legs.

#apo writes #stranger things #steddie

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starmapz · 2 days ago

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what you know - ch3: grade a(sshole) || r. sukuna

❦ ryomen sukuna x f!reader [college au] [ongoing series]

❝ you've heard his reputation and you've seen first-hand the way he's late to class if he even bothers to show up. paired with him for the most important project of the year, you choose to give him the benefit of the doubt- but maybe that's more than he deserves when your perfect grades depend on him, or maybe there's more to the aloof and irritable sukuna than meets the eye. ❞

❦ cw ; mdni, 18+ only. contains explicit sexual themes and content. use of alcohol. use of cannabis. use of nicotine/cigarettes. angst. hurt/no comfort. hurt/comfort. implied injury. family trauma. smut. slow burn. anxiety. tags will be updated as series continues.

❦ additional tags ; college parties and themes. sukuna ooc warning as this is a realistic take on modern sukuna. reader is fairly preppy and implied to be smaller than sukuna, but he's 6"11.

❦ words ; 12.1k.

main masterlist || series masterlist || previous chapter || next chapter - coming soon

The sounds of metal clanging and engines revving are somehow more grating than usual as Sukuna hangs the phone back on the wall. His head rests against the smooth surface beside the phone and he lets out a deep sigh, thankful you can’t see the frustration strewn across his face. Of fucking course Uraume’s in class right now and really, why had he ever expected his uncle to pick up? If he were good for anything, Sukuna wouldn’t be a parent to his siblings while in college.

“Ryomen! I need a hand!”

He rolls his shoulders in an effort to relieve the tension in his body from having no other choice but to call you, the source of all of his problems as of late, before pushing off the wall. He doesn’t say a word as he makes his way to his colleague, ignoring the man’s questioning. Just like everyone else in his life, his colleague doesn’t need to know anything about him.

The day drags on for Sukuna. He’s sluggish and worn out, covered in a sheen of sweat and grease and he can feel the oil he accidentally combed through his hair without thinking while speaking on the phone with you.

And then there’s you. Why the fuck won’t you leave his head? Why the fuck did he have to loosen and re-tighten the bolts on a set of tires because the thought of you had distracted him so much he’d tightened them a few too many times? Why had he done it on multiple tires?

As the day wraps up and he leaves the shop, the cool night air is welcome on his skin. He lets out a sigh as he begins to walk home, running a hand through his tousled hair once again. The feeling of oil coating his bare hand leaves him with a scowl and he wipes it on his coveralls, but they have enough grease on them that it hardly helps. His lip curls in disgust as he shoves his hands into his pockets, staring at the sidewalk as he makes his way back to his apartment.

The walk is too short to deliberate what the hell he’s even gonna say to you when he knows for a fact he owes you. Again. Yet that’s hardly the issue, when he knows he hurt you when he saw you last and now here he is asking for a favor. Fuck, how it pisses him off.

His hand pauses over his front door before he knows it, letting out a sigh as he unlocks the door and pushes through. He’s met immediately with the sight of you, dressed in a skirt and a beige knit sweater sitting on the couch. He goes to drop his keys on the table beside the door but pauses before they can clatter on the wood as he realizes Choso is sound asleep on top of you.

He sucks in a sharp breath, meeting your gaze. The world seems to hold its breath as you both stare at one another, completely silent.

“Hey,” your voice is smaller than you intended as you decide to break the tense silence. Sukuna’s piercing gaze flickers between you and Choso before he finally shuts the door behind him, his expression unreadable.

“They fell asleep?” He grunts.

Grimacing as he blatantly ignores your greeting, you nod. “Yeah. Choso wanted one more movie, but-” you pause, casting a glance at the young boy. “He didn’t make it long.”

Sukuna takes a step forward to look at the TV, quietly playing The Iron Giant. “That’s his favorite.”

You nod slowly, but your eyes never once leave Sukuna. He looks tired as ever again, like he hasn’t had a break in a long time, but you know better than to offer help now. That, and the way he hurt you still hangs over your head even if you aren’t upset with him.

“He really likes sad movies,” you comment in an effort to cut through the tension in the air, but it hardly helps, enveloping you in its grasp once more.

A puff of air leaves Sukuna’s nose in an acknowledging laugh. “You watched The Land Before Time didn’t ya?” There’s a hint of a smile on his face that you mirror back at him despite the lingering unease.

“And Pokemon.”

Sukuna’s brow raises as he nods. “Yeah. Dunno why, he’s always liked those three.”

In an attempt to lighten the mood, you offer a teasing smirk. “Maybe he takes after you. These are all your movies, aren’t they?”

Sukuna looks between the TV and you again, wiping the back of his hand across his forehead. Staring down at his hand that he forgot was covered in oil, he huffs at the realization that it’s now on his face. “They were,” he mindlessly answers, turning back towards you. He gently sets his keys on the table, noting the fact that you have a little smirk and are very obviously staring where he just wiped his hand. Yeah, he has oil on his forehead. “D’ya mind staying while I shower? I’ll be ten minutes. I’ll carry Cho to his room after.”

“That’s fine, you could use a showe-”

“Shut- your mouth, Prom Queen,” he quietly hisses, his tone lacking the aggravation of someone truly frustrated.

You shoot him a small smile, laughing quietly as a semblance of normalcy finally returns. When he kicks off his shoes and pads quietly further into the apartment, disappearing into the washroom, you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

It’s not like you weren’t expecting this to be uncomfortable, but you’d expected Sukuna to be as brash and vexing as usual, not whatever this is. The palpable tension, the somber silence and the complete and utter lack of frustration from Sukuna- it’s like you’re treading through a potential minefield, yet now you have no clue what could set him off this time. Do you even owe him that given how he snapped at you when you last saw him?

Throwing your head against the back of the couch, you sigh, deciding to give your attention back to the movie to force yourself not to get overwhelmed by your own overthinking. Choso shuffles in your arms, snoring softly as his hair falls over his face.

The sounds of doors opening and closing only a few minutes later makes your heart speed up when Sukuna emerges after a moment, dressed in a tight black tank top that hardly leaves anything to the imagination and gray sweatpants. You blink a few times as you make a conscious effort not to stare at his abs but god is it hard.

It’s almost like your mind forgets that you’re upset with him because he’s just that attractive, and that only makes your cheeks heat up because, come on. You’re better than this. Swallowing, you force yourself not to look at his bulging biceps or the veins in his forearms or the obvious six pack that the tank top doesn’t hide one bit. Why is it so tight anyway? Is he showing off?

But Sukuna hardly seems to notice your turmoil, his usual frown plastered on his face as he runs a hand through his hair, now oil-free. He closes the distance between you as he crosses the living room in two easy strides, standing tall in front of you.

“How’s Yuji?” He asks, clearing his throat.

“He’s been asleep most of the day but he didn’t throw up after I got here. He had a couple of spoonfuls of soup but he’s not hungry.”

He nods. “Good. I think.” Tense silence settles between you and you have to avert your gaze as you grow uncomfortable. “I’ll take Cho to his bed,” Sukuna mumbles, effortlessly lifting the young boy into his arms. Choso doesn’t so much as shuffle as Sukuna carries him to his and Yuji’s room. Fiddling with your neatly manicured nails, you stare in the direction Sukuna left. He’s back in only a few moments, looking relieved as ever that the day is over.

“Um, are you o-” you begin, realizing too late that both you and Sukuna have begun talking at the same time.

“You can go home.”

You stare at one another with wide eyes as you both speak over one another. Laughing uncomfortably, you chew on your lip. “You don’t want to talk about…?”

Sukuna’s brow furrows. There’s his irritation. Of course he would think the best thing to do is avoid the subject entirely.

“What do you want to talk about?” He asks in an impatient tone as he crosses his arms over his chest.

Your lips part as you search for words, treading carefully now that you have Sukuna’s attention. “You were a dick,” you offer as a starter, knowing that of all of the things you could say, this wouldn’t actually bother him that much.

“Tell me something I don’t know,” Sukuna mutters with a roll of his eyes.

“You’re still being a dick.”

He pauses this time, narrowed eyes observing the way you’re fiddling with your nails and chewing on your lip. He sighs, shutting his eyes for a moment. “Yeah. Yeah, okay. I’m an asshole,” he agrees. “I-” he pauses, rubbing his fingers over his eyes in exasperation. “I’m sorry,” he mutters, somewhat muffled as he rubs his hand over his face.

Your eyes widen, blinking once, twice, three times at him. In your experience with him, he usually avoided apologies and thanks, as though they taste bitter on his tongue. Even now, he seems to be avoiding the subject as best as he can, muttering it behind his hand like the weight of the word is too much to bear.

“I didn’t get everything handed to me on a silver platter, you know.”

Sukuna stares out the window across the apartment. “Didn’t think ya did.”

“Then why did you say it?” You ask, tilting your head.

“‘Cause I was pissed, okay? I apologized already,” he grumbles, wanting to be done with this conversation. Everything about it makes his skin crawl between the way your brows are knit together and the hurt that glimmers in your eyes to the way you look so small and uncertain in front of him. God, the way his throat tightened when he saw his little brother asleep on top of you too, his hair stood on end in discomfort at the feeling.

He doesn’t know what to make of you and he hates that he pushed you away only to need you. To need your help. To embarrassingly need to call you three times and grovel for you to look after his brothers that only you know about because you just keep slithering your way into his life. He wants to blame it so badly on you being a pain in the ass, but you’re not. You’re kind. You’re kind and thoughtful and you’re only here because you’re a good person.

You’re still here even after he treated you as though you were replaceable, because you’re a better person than he could ever be.

Sukuna sighs loudly in exasperation, rubbing his temples. “Just… fuckin’ ignore me, okay? I was just taking shit out on you.”

“Like a dick.”

Sukuna lowers his hand from his face, staring at you with narrowed eyes. “Do you just really want me to say I was a dick?”

You tilt your head with a saccharine sweet smile. “Mhmm.”

“Does it really make that much of a fuckin’ difference?”

“I want to hear you say it.” Your tone has a teasing sort of charm to it that has him huffing and puffing in front of you.

“You gonna forgive me if I do?”

“I’ll think about it,” you grin back at him.

“Fuck, fine. Fine. I was a dick.”

You giggle as the burly man scowls at you, crossing his arms over his broad chest again. Once your laughter subsides, you offer a more sympathetic smile. “I’m sorry too, Sukuna. I shouldn’t have pushed you to begin with.”

His brow twitches as you apologize. He can’t in his right mind figure out why you think you would need to apologize for his outburst when really you weren’t all that pushy. The last thing he needs right now is to get stuck in this conversation that feels as though it’s physically bringing him pain for any longer than necessary, so he lets it go with a hum.

“Did the brats give you a hard time?”

You shake your head, relieved as the tension fades and Sukuna takes a seat on the opposite end of the couch, legs spread as he slumps into the cushions. “Yuji was crying when I got here, but he quieted down pretty quickly. Choso seemed a bit worried but he helped me cook and just wanted to watch movies,” you twist your body to face him as you speak.

He sighs, an elongated curse falling from his lips as he stares at the ceiling. “I owe ya. I already paid the sitter, but I’ll-”

“Don’t worry about it!”

He stares at you like you’ve grown another limb. “What? This shit took up your whole day.”

“I like spending time with them,” you insist with a shrug. “They remind me of simpler times.”

“What if you get sick?” At this point, Sukuna is reaching for something, anything, so that you’ll give in to him. But that’s just not who you are, is it? You’re selfless and kind, and you won’t accept anything he throws at you and that thought absolutely wrenches his gut. It twists in a type of discomfort that’s becoming entirely too familiar and he doesn’t know what to make of it.

“Then I get sick. Oh well,” you shrug again, shooting him that same sweet smile from earlier.

A muscle in his jaw tightens as he stares at you. “Are you always this much of a pain?”

You scoff humorously. “I don’t take your money and I’m a pain?” Your tone is teasing as you lean towards him.

“A pain,” Sukuna emphasizes the word as he stretches an arm along the sofa, his fingers draped along the back near your face. “That’s how shit like this is supposed to work. I pay you, you look after the brats.” He looks expectantly at you.

Your eyes soften as you realize just how different your views of the world are. Of course Sukuna wouldn’t expect someone to help them out of the goodness of their heart if it was just something he’d never experienced before. In his eyes, everything is transactional. You know he hates the idea of asking for help as well, so you can only assume that he would want to return the favor if it means it isn’t a plea for help. It’s an exchange of services. It makes it easier on his ego.

“Consider it a thank you for turning in the visual portion of our project on time,” you insist, trying to worm your way carefully between the thin line that separates this being help and this being an exchange.

“What?” He lifts a brow in disbelief, crimson irises narrowed as he observes you. “That doesn’t make any fucking sense. That’s my project, too.”

“Well-” you pause, staring down at your manicured nails. “I honestly just thought you hadn’t made it on time.”

His finger taps the back of the couch by your head. “What gave you the idea I just wouldn’t turn my own project in?”

“Well you didn’t show up to our second meeti-”

“Y’know what?” He flicks your forehead with a mischievous smirk, all thoughts of repaying you gone from his mind. “Forget I asked. Don’t answer that.”

You pout at him, bringing a hand up to rub your forehead although it didn’t hurt. “Dick.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whine about it,” he grumbles, but he’s smirking as he eyes you. You can’t help but giggle at his behavior, something about it comforting as Sukuna relaxes into the cushions. He mindlessly rolls his neck, leaning back as silence falls over you.

The sound of cars outside and the quiet dialogue from The Iron Giant is nothing but background noise as you bask in the comfortable air of the still apartment. Being around Sukuna feels almost nostalgic in a sense- sure you had only been apart for a week and a half, but after ‘getting over him,’ as Shoko put it, it almost feels like a warm hug.

It’s a shame it can never last as long as you’d like, as you catch a glimpse of the window and realize it’s dark. Afraid of intruding, you get to your feet and make your way to the door. “I should head out,” you tell him. His eyes follow you, though he gives no other indication of hearing your words. “Will I see you in class on Friday? We get our grade for the project.”

“Nah, not if the brat’s sick. Just email me our grade.”

Your lip twitches downward, and you can only pray Sukuna doesn’t notice. He gives no indication that he does, so you do your best to plaster a look of understanding on your face. “See you around?”

“Yeah.” He doesn’t say anything more, still spread across the couch. He’s so tall and bulky that somehow the three-person couch looks too small for him, it may as well be a feat.

“Later, Kuna!” You trill in a sing-song voice as you make your way to the door.

“Night, Prom Queen,” he huffs, a humorous sneer to his tone.

–

Although he’s stuck at home with Yuji, Sukuna sends you a couple of emails updating you on him. The first one caught you off-guard but it warms your heart that he seems to want to talk to you beyond the project. Each email causes your chest to flutter a little more but you don’t entertain the thought that it’s anything more than physical attraction. There’s no point, really, when you can’t seem to go a single day without upsetting him in some manner.

Not that Shoko seems to agree with that sentiment.

“Hey!” She calls as you wait at your usual spot to make your way to the lunch hall.

“Hey, Sho!” You reply cheerily.

“So are we not best friends anymore, or…?” She asks, narrowing her eyes.

Incredulously, you blink at her. “What are you talking about?”

“You didn’t text me to tell me how last night went.”

“Oh, with Sukuna?”

With a deadpan stare, she sighs. “Girl, don’t act stupid.”

Harsh. “Sorry, it was pretty late when I got back, I would have otherwise!” You apologize with a wry smile. “It’s not all that interesting anyway. I just looked after the kids until he got back and then I went home.”

“You’re impossible. That’s obviously not what I’m asking about,” she groans, pushing you further as you beat around the bush of the situation. “You literally haven’t seen him in like a week and a half because he was such a prick, puh-lease tell me he apologized. You better not let him step on you.”

You sigh, giving in to her nosiness. “Yes, he apologized. I think it caused him physical pain,” you giggle to yourself.

“Good,” she snorts, “he deserves it for hurting you and he’s lucky I haven’t smacked him yet for breaking your heart.”

“He didn’t break my heart,” you roll your eyes as the two of you find your way to your usual table at the lunch hall.

Shoko takes her usual seat across from you. “No of course not, you were just sulking for fun.”

“I thought you were supposed to be my best friend?” You ask in an effort to derail the conversation as Haibara and Nanami take their seats beside you.

“That’s why I’m grilling you over that asshole in the first place,” she grins.

“That’s why you shouldn’t be giving me a hard time,” you counter but she just shoots you a sweet smile as Gojo and Geto arrive. Even she won’t subject you to their form of torture when it comes to teasing.

Nanami clearly catches on to what’s going on from where he sits beside you. Leaning over, he keeps his voice down as his observant mahogany eyes take in that you seem fairly bright today in comparison to the last few days.

“He apologized, yes?”

You nod.

“Good. Don’t be afraid to ask for my help, okay?”

“I’m fine, Ken, I promise,” you insist. Satisfied, he smiles and pulls out his lunch. You do the same, pulling out a container of fruit and a panini sandwich. For the first time in just under two weeks, you don’t feel a miserable wrench in your chest as you stare at the sandwich.

–

It’s no surprise when Friday rolls around and Sukuna doesn’t show up to class. Yuji is sick, and that’s his priority, as it should be. You feel a pang of disappointment but it’s heartwarming just how much he cares for his little brothers when he comes across as cold and indifferent a majority of the time. Even if he’s a bit rough around the edges, there’s a certain charm to the quiet and docile moments you’ve shared since working with him.

You can hardly sit still through the class as you await your grade, easily the most stressful part of projects worth this much. Your entire scholarship hinges on each of these massive projects and tests and you can’t risk the consequences of failing.

Ten minutes before the end of the lecture, just as the professor is about to go over the project, the door slowly inches open, and a tall and broad-shouldered student slips in with his hood up. The professor is used to it by now and doesn’t say a word. Rather than heading to his usual seat, the student quietly slips into the seat beside you, nudging you softly. He pulls down his hood and your eyes light up at the sight of your project partner.

“You made it!” You whisper, grinning up at him. Your stomach flutters as he smirks, setting his forearm on the back of your chair as he leans closer to you. Heat radiates from his body as his breath fans your neck, warming your skin despite the shiver that runs up your spine.

“You looked like a kicked puppy when I told ya I needed to stay home, so I pulled some strings.”

You tilt your head to look at him, feeling your breath hitch when you realize just how close he is to your ear. Your cheeks undeniably heat up as you force yourself to stare at the front of the class. “I didn’t look like a kicked puppy. I was just… hoping you could make it.”

“Yeah, well, can’t have the Prom Queen thinkin’ I don’t show up now, can I?”

Your cheeks are burning so hot you think your head might be spinning and it’s only when he finally leans back into his own chair that you realize you were holding your breath. Rubbing a hand over your face in an effort to cool your cheeks down, you cast a glance at Sukuna.

He’s manspreading right into your personal space, leaning back into his chair as he listens to the professor with a look of indifference. In a rare circumstance, he looks more well-rested than usual and seems fairly at ease. His leg isn’t subtly shaking and his eyes aren’t darting down to his watch as he debates when to leave for his next shift. For once, he isn’t Sukuna with two jobs, two dependants, and the world on his shoulders, he’s just a student.

Your heart aches at the realization that he’s so drained from the weight of the world that it’s only in rare moments like this one that you see more of the real Sukuna. A man who smirks and teases, who relaxes into his seat and simply lets life go on. He’s not always cold and tense, there’s a side to him that only those lucky enough to get close to him get to see and the worst part about this realization…

… is that you want to see more of it. Not out of the goodness of your heart and a want to do something nice for someone deserving, although that is a part of it, but for selfish reasons.

Fuck. Shoko is right. Shoko is right and you’re hopelessly crushing over the notoriously hot campus asshole.

You swallow hard, pulling your gaze forward as you realize you’ve been staring. Chewing on your lip, you hardly put together that the professor is passing out project grades until he stops in front of your seats. You blink a few times to reorient yourself.

“You two surprised me immensely as a pairing,” he begins. Although you weren’t paying attention, Sukuna is well aware of the fact that the professor had been dismissing other students as he passes out grades, opting to bring yours up last. He can only assume that means one thing and he’s already smirking. “Although I would prefer you keep the in-class chatter to a minimum-” he pauses to shoot a glance at Sukuna, who’s now huffing with a glance to the side as the smirk falls from his face, “-this is by far the best iteration of this project I’ve seen in all my years of teaching.”

Your jaw hangs ajar, eyes wide as you process his words. Sukuna’s smirking again, hardly seeming shocked.

“Your thesis is worded eloquently and explores the depths of the meanings of each painting, while your visual portion is stunning and displays an understanding of the importance behind each piece to the artist,” he explains. The cocky grin on Sukuna’s face doesn’t leave as he outstretches his arm onto your chair. “This is the first time I’ve ever given out a perfect score, and for that reason I’d like to have you both present your work in front of the class.”

You pale, shooting a fearful glance at Sukuna. He seems mildly irritated by the thought, but shrugs, returning your glance. “Whattaya say?” He asks, his calm facade faltering as he takes in your expression. Crimson irises flit between your eyes as you slowly shake your head.

“I don’t know,” you hesitate meekly, not loving the idea of standing before a lecture hall of students, under far too many pairs of watchful and judgmental eyes.

His gaze drops to the way you’re fidgeting with your fingers, just as you had when you were nervous a couple of nights ago as he puts together that this isn’t something you’re comfortable with. It’s not like that isn’t written across your face right now, but it’s abundantly clear to him through your actions that this isn’t just discomfort, you’re genuinely nervous.

“We’ll do it,” Sukuna says. Your head flips towards him, eyes wide in disbelief as he makes the decision for you.

Before you have a chance to protest, the professor claps his hands together. “Great. I’ll have you present at the end of class next Friday. You don’t have to prepare anything fancy but I will make sure you get extra credit for this.”

You have half a mind to wish he started by mentioning the extra credit portion, you certainly would have hesitated less, but it doesn’t change just how badly you don’t want to do this.

As the professor walks away, you whirl around to face Sukuna. “What the hell, Sukuna?” You whisper-yell, though there isn’t anyone in your vicinity.

He chuckles. “Pick your jaw up off the ground, you’ll be fine. I’ll be there the whole time with you, yeah? I can do as much of the talkin’ as you want.” He leans towards you, setting a hand on the table in front of you both. “‘Sides, you weren’t gonna say no to extra credit. We both know that.”

You chew on your lip, brows knit together as you stare down at your hands, mindlessly fiddling with your nails again. “I guess you’re right.”

The tattooed man lets the silence hang for a moment as he contemplates how shy you’ve suddenly become. You’re meek at times, but this is almost perplexing to him given how bold and saccharine you are towards him when he isn’t purposely pushing your buttons. “So let me get this straight, you were Prom Queen but you don’t like talkin’ in front of people?” Sukuna tilts his head in thought as he shifts to lean on his forearm, edging closer to you.

“That- That felt different,” you insist, leaning forward on your palm as if mirroring his actions. Your eyes trail away from him and Sukuna narrows his eyes.

“I don’t get how that shit’s any different. Aren’t there less people in this class?” He asks, bringing a hand up to scratch his chest. Your eyes flicker over to watch the movement, as though anything is more interesting than actually looking up at him.

“Well, yeah- but-” you pause, your leg now beginning to bounce. Clearly you’re bothered now, but Sukuna can’t wrap his head around what’s made you so shy suddenly- you who so boldly walked your way into his life. He knows people perceive him as scary at a glance, yet that never stopped you. Hell, you hang around Satoru Gojo of all people and Sukuna doesn’t get that either, finding his boisterous presence loud and irritating, but he’s fairly sure that makes you part of a group that would normally be considered popular.

So what in the hell are you so scared of? He doesn’t understand.

“But what?” He pushes, leaning closer to you.

You can feel his breath fanning your face again now that he’s leaning closer to you. It only serves as another distraction and you already can’t seem to find your words. “I- I don’t know, Sukuna!” You huff, pulling back a bit to cross your arms over your chest and put some distance between you.

Sukuna's face twists in confusion, frustration etching itself into his features. “C’mon, it’s easy extra credit. What’s got you so worked up?” He asks with a hint of a sneer as he grows impatient with your avoidance of the subject.

“You wouldn’t get it.” Your voice is firm and there’s a hint of ice forming at the edges of your words that surprises your project partner.

“Try me,” he grunts, leaning as far forward as he can without his chair tipping over.

Your hands move gradually from their position crossed over your chest to hug your frame as your expression turns from one of frustration to a more solemn one. “It’s because I was Prom Queen that I don’t like talking in front of people.”

“Hm?”

“It was a pretty big thing at my school, so some people were jealous, and others were pushy, it’s not like in the movies,” you shrug, as if that’s any sort of explanation in Sukuna’s eyes. Confusion dances across his narrowed red irises and you sigh, letting your guard down. “I don’t know, some girls got pretty jealous, and some people were a bit pushy trying to get my attention and it just ended up being an embarrassment. It was just a lot and I don’t love being in front of groups anymore,” you shrug.

Sukuna sits up straight, staring down at you with a scowl. “Aren’t they supposed to wanna be you or somethin’?” He asks with a frown.

“I mean, they did.”

He supposes you have a point, his observant stare taking in the way you shrink into yourself. “Well this ain’t high school and those assholes aren’t here. Don’t worry about it,” he shrugs in an attempt to reassure you. You finally meet his gaze again, a look of uncertainty painting your wide eyes. “No one is stupid enough to talk about ya like that with me beside you.”

A small smile pulls at your lips and Sukuna’s heart stumbles. He blinks a few times at the feeling in an effort to push it away, focusing instead on the way your eyes brighten. Fuck, that’s not helping him either. He coughs lightly into his elbow, rubbing a hand over his face as you smile shyly at him.

“Thanks, Sukuna. You’re kinda sweet sometimes, in your own way.”

He scowls. “The hell’s that supposed to mean?”

You can’t help the laugh that bubbles from deep within your chest at his scrunched nose and frown, but you don’t give him an answer, beginning to pack up your bags. Sukuna huffs when you begin to pack up, facing forward with his chin leaning on his palm.

“Hey, thanks for coming in to get our grade.”

He raises a brow. “I didn’t do it for you.”

You pause, gripping your textbook in your bag as you cast a glance at Sukuna. His usual aloof expression has returned, no indication of your prior teasing found on his face.

“What happened to emailing you our grade then?”

Sukuna’s eye twitches as he watches you, returning your stare. “It was a joke.”

Your lips quirk upwards. “Right, how could I forget? It was so funny,” you mock him, reveling in the way he’s on his feet the next moment, the chair scraping across the floor as he glares at you with all the irritation he can muster, that doesn’t quite meet his eyes.

“You think you’re funny, don’t you?” He sneers, taking a step towards you. He towers over you, shoving his hands into his pockets as your cocky demeanor shifts, your eyes widening when he leans down until his face is mere inches from yours. Your breath hitches as he chuckles darkly when he gets the exact reaction he wants from you. “You were all talk two seconds ago, what happened?”

“I- um-” Getting your bearings, you shove his chest playfully. “You’re a dick,” you mumble.

Sukuna doesn’t move an inch when you shove him, a grin plastered across his face. “Thought we were done with callin’ me a dick,” he teases.

Rolling your eyes, you scoff. “Yeah, until you decided to be one again.”

Sukuna’s sharp pupils flicker between your eyes for a moment before he stands up straight. Your heart beats in your ears as you’re freed from the close proximity. “Yeah, whatever you say,” he chuckles, calmly smirking at you. He glances down at the watch on his wrist, letting out a breath of air. “I gotta get back home. Uraume only had an hour to watch the brats.”

Tilting your head, you blink up at him, a hand over your chest to slow your thundering heart. “How’s Yuji?”

Sukuna shrugs. “Better than Wednesday. He’s still got a fever, though.”

“I hope he feels better soon,” you say, hesitating as you take a chance. “Let me know if you need me to watch them.”

Sukuna’s expression is unreadable as he examines you, gears visibly turning in his mind. Without another word, he slings his backpack over his shoulder and throws his hood back up, pausing to look at you before he leaves.

Sighing, he pushes his hair from his forehead beneath his hood. “I swear this’ll be the last time. I got offered a shift Sunday.”

He doesn’t voice his question to watch the kids, it’s an unspoken question because he doesn’t want to ask. The question puts him in a position where he’s asking for help and he so badly wants that not to be what this is.

You smile softly. “I’m free on Sunday.”

Pulling his airpods from a case in his pocket and putting them in his ears, he grunts. “Come by mine Sunday at 8:30.”

You purse your lips. “At night, right?” You ask, your gaze following after the man as he casually descends the lecture hall to the door. “At night, right?” You ask, this time louder to get his attention over his music.

Sukuna heard you the first time, shooting you a sly smirk just before he leaves.

Well, fuck that.

–

With a backpack slung over your shoulder filled with textbooks and study materials, as well as your GameCube, you sigh as you click the buzzer button for Sukuna’s apartment. As you wait for one of the three siblings to let you in, you shiver at the chill air. It’s far too early for you to be awake on a Sunday and your body agrees as you find yourself yawning every few seconds.

Between the cool fall air and the early morning, you couldn’t be bothered to dress in your usual preppy style, opting for a cute deep red hoodie with hello kitty on it and a pair of leggings. It’s still cute, but it’s a contrast to your blouses, skirts and heels.

When the door loudly buzzes, you make your way inside with your hood up over your hair, yawning as you rub your tired eyes. Before you can even knock on the door, Sukuna opens it, leaving your fist stagnant in the air. You drop it by your side, staring up at him through your lashes.

Sukuna’s in his polo shirt that seems so out of place on him you would almost assume he was someone else. “Blue’s not your color,” you comment with a yawn. His amused smile at your tired expression twists in offense at your comment.

“Morning to you too, dick.”

You giggle at his teasing. “You got me up early, I’m allowed to be one.”

“Oh, my bad, you fuckin’ princess,” Sukuna scoffs, an air of playfulness surrounding his words that makes you giggle more. He opens the door to let you into the apartment, his gaze trailing your outfit. It’s not your usual attire but something about how different it is on you while still suiting you stirs something within him. The bigger hoodie draping over your body makes him wonder what his own clothes would-

What the fuck is he thinking? He shakes his head, shutting the door and glancing over to the hall where the pitter patter of small feet sounds. Yuji goes running up to Sukuna, a bundle of blankets wrapped around his tiny form. “Don’t go, big brother.” His voice is lower than usual, clearly still sick as he clings onto his brother’s leg.

Crimson eyes flicker down to the little bundle of blankets. “I’ll be back soon, Yu. Play some MarioKart or whatever.”

Yuji’s curious eyes search the room at the sound of MarioKart. You pull down your hood and wave as he spots you. His eyes widen and he gasps, running up and hugging your legs now. You grin down at him, ruffling his unkempt hair.

Sukuna scoffs. “See? You won’t even know I’m gone.”

“Come play with us!” Yuji insists at the sound of his brother’s comment, still clutching your knee as he turns to plead with his brother.

Sukuna’s hardened indifference cracks, something akin to guilt or sadness flickering in his eyes for a split-second. It’s such a short moment that you wonder if you imagined it. He sighs, crouching down in front of Yuji. Even crouching, he’s still monstrously tall and dwarfs his little brother. You suppose that’s what happens when you’re almost seven feet tall and made of solid muscle.

“Maybe later, kid.” He ruffles his hair just as you did moments ago and gets back to his feet. “I owe ya one,” he sighs, brow furrowed as he stares off to the side with a tight jaw.

“Actually, I’ve been meaning to ask-” you pause, a mix of emotions flooding you as you contemplate dropping the question, but ultimately decide it’s worth it. “I could use a hand studying for history.” You chew on your lip. “You know, just if you have time, no big deal if you don’t!” You smile sheepishly.

Sukuna’s eyes flicker between yours, his expression unreadable. “Yeah, sure.” He turns away, trudging to the door. “Be back at 5:30,” he mumbles before he’s gone. You sigh at the sight of the shut and locked door, turning your groggy attention to Yuji, who coughs into his bundle of blankets at your feet.

It’s a miracle you aren’t sick already, and you hope that miracle stays with you again today.

You’re able to study while the boys play games throughout most of the day once Choso wakes up. They’re easy to look after and they add a certain brightness to your day that only they can, reminding you of just how simple life is when you don’t have three projects due and finals on the horizon.

There’s a weight in your chest at the thought of managing that workload alongside two jobs and two kids, something you find yourself pondering often, but if Sukuna won’t accept your help, then what more can you do? Sure, you’re helping him now, but you know he won’t let this go without repayment, which you would happily take in the form of a study buddy. While that’s likely less stressful for him than cash, it’s still another sliver of his already limited time taken up.

“I’m hungry,” Choso mumbles, looking at you as if he didn’t scarf down the lunch you made only a couple of hours ago.

A lopsided smile dons your face as you contemplate making dinner or letting him know to wait for Sukuna, but if he’s hungry, who are you to say no?

“What would you like?”

“Cereal!” Yuji excitedly calls from where he sits on the floor, stifling a cough when his voice cracks.

“That’s not dinner…” Choso mumbles, brow furrowing in thought as he looks at his younger brother, who’s been so picky while he’s been sick that most of their meals have been the same few things that he can stomach. “What about mac and cheese?”

Yuji takes a moment to think, before he decides this is acceptable and nods excitedly.

“I’m sure I can make that happen,” you agree, getting to your feet to peruse the kitchen that you’re growing more accustomed to. Yuji stays in the living room, the sounds of a terrified Luigi echoing throughout the apartment as Choso follows closely behind you. You’ve noticed over your time with Sukuna and his brothers that Choso seems to have a penchant for cooking and loves to help. It’s too cute and your heart swells each time he finds a way to lend a hand while you cook.

Plus, you get a helper, which means less work. It’s a win-win situation, really.

As you work your way through the kitchen, boiling water and letting Choso salt and stir the noodles before pouring them into a casserole dish, you sprinkle cheese between and over the noodles as you wait for the oven to eat up, explaining each step along the way for Sukuna’s brother. Stirring the cheese into the noodles along with some herbs and spices, you tilt your head at the dish.

It’s almost ready for the oven, but not quite.

“Do you have breadcrumbs?”

Choso stares up at the pantry shelves. “Uhh…” He pushes around a few boxes before shaking his head. “I don’t think so.”

“Do you have bread?”

“Yeah, but it’s old.”

“Old like mouldy or old like stale?” You ask with a thoughtful expression.

“Stale.”

“Perfect!”

Choso wrinkles his nose as he hands the loaf of bread to you. It’s in moments like these that his resemblance to his older brother really becomes apparent.

“I’ll show you how to make breadcrumbs,” you grin. Choso doesn’t seem to have a grasp on what you need breadcrumbs for when mac and cheese’s ingredients are literally listed in the name, but he still watches with intrigue anyway. You cut up the slices of bread into tiny pieces, throwing them in the oven until they’ve dried out, and then tossing them over the mac and cheese and placing the extra crumbs aside.

“Trust the process, Cho.”

He tilts his head curiously as you place the mac and cheese on a rack in the oven. “Trust the process?”

“It means… it may not make sense to you in the moment, maybe it’s messy or confusing, but the end result will be more than worth it.”

“Oh. Okay. Trust the process,” he parrots, before making his way back to the living room just as his brother is sucking up a ghost with a vacuum in Luigi’s Mansion.

While the meal bakes, you grab your history textbook again and get some more studying in. It doesn’t take long for the timer to go off and Choso comes running up with wide eyes to stare at the prepared meal. Yuji follows slowly in his bundle of blankets, happily taking a bowl as you warn them both it’s hot.

“So?”

With a mouth full of macaroni, Choso smiles. “Trust the process,” comes his muffled happiness. The boys chow down on what you assume will be their dinner given that Sukuna should be home soon, and Choso returns to help you clean up.

He grabs a ziploc bag to place the extra breadcrumbs in, holding it open for you. Just as you’re pouring the food into the bag, the front door swings open and you jolt in surprise, causing bread crumbs to go flying.

Sukuna drops his keys on the table by the door, his eyes scanning the room as he spots Yuji before his aloof expression crumbles when he arches a brow at the absolute mess that his kitchen is. Your cheeks heat up as you and Choso stare at him with guilty expressions.

Really, you should be blaming Sukuna for scaring you.

“I’m not fuckin’ cleaning that,” he grumbles, walking slowly over the mess of cables in the living room as he pulls his shirt up over his head in the most ungodly slutty way you could possibly imagine and you can’t bring yourself to tear your eyes from the sight of his toned back.

Of course, you always knew Sukuna was muscular, but seeing it first hand makes it hard to shake the image from your mind. He could be hung on the wall of a museum, his muscles are so sculpted, rippling with every movement and decorated in tattoos that suit him so well he could be an actual god and you wouldn’t even bat an eye.

Choso pulls you from your thoughts as they border on inappropriate, by tugging at your sleeve.

“We should clean.”

“Right!” You squeak, shaking the image of shirtless Sukuna as best as you can from your mind as you stare at the scattered mess.

“Okay let’s… start with the counter.”

It doesn’t take too long to clean up the mess and there’s still enough bread crumbs left over for Sukuna to make something if he wanted, so it could have gone over worse.

Speak of the devil, he rounds the corner wearing a black muscle shirt with a metal band logo you don’t recognize scrawled across the front and sleeves cut so deep it hardly counts as a shirt, like he’s showing off or something. You don’t even want to begin to think about the fact that he’s wearing grey sweatpants as well like some sort of tease who probably just threw on the first thing he saw and it didn’t even cross his mind how stupidly hot he is.

You avert your eyes, attempting to keep your cheeks from heating up any more than they already have. Sukuna crosses the living room to the kitchen in a few long strides, peering at the floor in search of crumbs.

“The fuck even happened over here?”

“You scared me when you opened the door,” you mumble, leaning back against the kitchen counter where your textbook is resting.

“So you threw shit everywhere?”

Your brow furrows at his accusation. “I just fumbled a bit and spilled what was on the pan.”

“Mm.” Sukuna’s gaze scans the kitchen until he finds the macaroni and cheese casserole sitting just behind your textbook. With a hint of a smirk, he takes a step forward, so close to you that his body heat warms your skin, his abs and chest just barely brushing against the plush of your breasts as he dips his finger into the dish.

Pulling his arm back, he slyly locks eyes with you, not bothering to take a step back even as you press your spine into the counter. He slips his finger between his lips, sucking the cheese from it with a pop!

Your eyes are wide as you look up at him, caught between him and the hard countertop behind you like a deer in the headlights, frozen. If you move even an inch, he’ll be pressed up against you, and- don’t let your thoughts spiral again.

Sukuna smirks, lidded eyes smug as though he’s got you just where he wants you, amused to pull such a reaction from you. He’s become increasingly aware of the effect he has on you and everything he’s been doing has absolutely been on purpose, even if you don’t know it. He’s making a show out of his muscles, getting close to you, sucking on his finger, all to get a rise out of you.

He’s not sure he understands it himself, but he loves your little reactions. He loves the way your eyes widen, your breath hitches, and your muscles tense as though you’ve been caught doing something you shouldn’t. He’s sure it all boils down to lust, but he’ll make the most of it while he has you here.

He clicks his tongue after a thoughtful moment. “Not bad. The breadcrumbs are a nice touch.”

“T-Thanks,” you stammer quietly. Sukuna chuckles lowly as he finally gives you space, turning to open the fridge and grab a protein drink. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding, bringing a hand up to slow your pounding heart.

“You stickin’ around to study?”

“I- um-” you pause, clearing your throat in an effort to calm your flustered state. “If you have time, that would be great. I mean, I’d appreciate it.”

“Sure. The brats are quiet while you’re around.” He brings the protein drink up to his lips, downing it in one go and tossing the bottle into a bucket in the corner of the room as though he’s done it a thousand times.

With the boys distracted by the GameCube, Sukuna sits down at the table in the back of his apartment with you and a bowl of macaroni and cheese. Scooting his chair closer to you, his eyes scan the page you’re on.

“Is this for History 209?” He asks, briefly flipping to the textbook cover.

You nod.

“Mm.”

Sukuna briefly scans the upcoming pages before diving into explanations of the textbook, from memory. He clearly has a fondness for history that seems to come naturally to him as he explains anything you ask questions on without needing to even glance at the textbook. It’s like second nature to him.

“What years did the cold war take place?” He quizzes without so much as glancing up at you as he flips through the textbook pages without reading at all as though it’s a picture book.

“Uh-” You stare up at the ceiling. “1952 to 89?”

“47 to 89. Tell me about the Cuban Missile Crisis.”

“Um- Cuba felt like the US was about to invade, so they asked the Soviet Union to install missiles in-”

“Who asked?”

“Cuba?”

Sukuna glances up at you, his expression unimpressed. “No shit. What leader?”

“Oh. Castro.”

Hours pass by and you hardly even notice until your eyes begin to grow heavy and your yawning sets in. Sukuna gradually begins leaning further on his knuckles over the table, launching question after question at you without even a lick of help from the textbook. It would almost be impressive, if you didn’t already know how smart Sukuna is.

“How did the modern revolution affect the environment?”

You chew on your lip, the last bit of energy you were working with fizzling out suddenly as you’re left staring blankly at the table, completely burnt out.

Sukuna’s been only half paying attention for the past few minutes, growing equally as worn out and unable to focus as you are, though he hasn’t noticed just how spent you are given his inattention. It’s not until you don’t respond that his attention snaps to you, staring off into space.

He glances over your features, eyes dropping to your oversized hoodie. His thoughts stray to places they shouldn’t be again, so he wills himself to look back at your eyes, but the way you’re chewing on your lip-

It’s then that he realizes how close you are. Over the course of the past couple of hours, Sukuna has leaned further forward in his chair and you’ve scooted closer in an effort to look at the pages of your textbook while he explains. It’s weird, the way the close proximity seems to draw him in, as though he belongs in your space, but he knows better. He knows you exist in different worlds.

Still, as you space out further, a piece of your hair falls out of place, blocking the blank and tired expression on your face, and Sukuna doesn’t even have a moment to process his actions before he moves. It’s almost delicate, the way he slowly moves the hand he isn’t leaning on to tenderly brush the strand of hair behind your ear.

His action draws your attention, and along with it a steady heat that rises to your cheeks, reaching your ears and down to your neck. Sukuna doesn’t even seem phased by what he’s done, as if it’s completely natural and something the two of you just do. As though he isn’t pushing the balance of your strange friendship, if it could even be called that.

You lick your lip as you will your thoughts to stop bouncing all over the place, trying not to read too much into his actions, but it’s hard not to when his pupils dart down to follow your tongue as it swipes your lower lip. His pupils grow suddenly, and you don’t know how not to read into that, and now your thoughts are spiraling, and you’re wondering if all of Sukuna’s actions today are premeditated or-

As if Sukuna’s only just become aware of what he’s doing, he clears his throat and sits back. His pupils shrink and he crosses his arms over his chest, placing distance between you.

“You should head home before it’s too dark.”

In the endless sea of your thoughts, all you can do is nod. Snapping yourself back to reality, you begin packing your bag and make your way out to the living room where the two boys are excitedly playing an old copy of the board game Operation after Sukuna had told them no more video games, much to their dismay.

You smile at the sight of poor bundled up little Yuji and his older brother, who clearly cares a great deal for the little salmon-haired boy. The three of them are a sweet little family. Sukuna has a funny way of showing it sometimes but he clearly adores the two boys, or he wouldn’t be doing everything that he is.

At the end of the day, he could have left them to their own devices, thrown them into the fostering system. He could have used legal means to shove them into a relative’s care. He could have done a lot of things, but you can see the way he adores them. The way he loves them so deeply and genuinely that he can’t bear the thought of seeing them thrown to the wolves like that. He’s put a great deal of his life on hold and put his health, both mental and physical, on the line to see the two boys thrive, and it fills your heart with joy.

“You know, I could just leave the GameCu-”

“No.” Sukuna gets to his feet, standing a few feet away.

Yuji and Choso’s heads simultaneously whip around as though they’ve heard the biggest betrayal of their entire lives.

At five and twelve, they very well may have.

“Awwww!”

“Pleaaase, Kuna!”

“No, that’s final.”

You shoot Sukuna an easy smile, giggling to yourself at the sight of his scowl and frustrated huff.

“Don’t get ideas into their heads,” he grumbles at you, brushing past you as you clean up the GameCube and stuff the games into your bag. He grabs some more medication for Yuji, who doesn’t complain as he swallows it with a miserable frown at the bitter taste.

You wait at the door with your bag packed as Sukuna moves around the apartment, putting the medication away before he joins you at the door.

“Thank you so much for your help with studying, Kuna,” you say as you twist the handle and make your way out the door, turning to face him just outside his apartment. He leans on the doorframe, shutting the door slightly behind him and blocking the boys’ vision of you to give you both some privacy. He’s grimacing at the nickname, but he doesn’t complain.

“It’s whatever. Just paying you back for lookin’ after the brats.”

Your lips quirk up into a smile. Of course that’s all it is. “Email me if you need me to look after them while Yuji’s still sick.”

A puff of air escapes Sukuna’s nose in a makeshift laugh. “This your excuse to have more time to study?”

You have to resist the urge to roll your eyes at the way he so obviously is denying that he’s getting help from you. “Yeah. Yeah, it is,” you agree.

He smirks, nodding. “Tuesday at three.”

“Better be in the afternoon this time,” you tease.

“God forbid I take a night shift,” he scoffs, turning to shut the door. He pauses for a split second, turning back to you. You almost think he’s about to thank you, but either you read the situation wrong or he second-guesses himself because- “You better remember who Allen Dulles is on Tuesday.”

Your face contorts as he references the cold war and chuckles at your expression before closing the door.

Dick.

–

Friday comes sooner than you can possibly imagine as you find yourself spending late nights studying with Sukuna after looking after Yuji and Choso. Yuji returned to school on Thursday and Choso on Monday, so you’d gotten into the habit of picking up Choso from school and going back to watch them play games while you studied or worked on projects.

You couldn’t know whether Sukuna would still need help now that Yuji was feeling better, but that was the least of your concerns, because it’s Friday.

And you’ve been dreading this Friday in particular. Worse still, it felt like the world was against you all day too.

You woke up to the first snow of the season, opting to dress in a cute, white knit sweater that was fairly warm, as well as some beige leggings- not to mention all your winter gear.

And that was only the tip of the iceberg, you had to redo your eyeliner after somehow messing it up not once but twice, and then you managed to step in a puddle of mud and get your usual winter boots completely covered in dirt.

With your clean high heeled boots adorning your feet, you make your way to the school and quickly fall into step with Nanami who shares your first class of the day. He’s bundled up warmly in a long coat, a grey scarf accenting his coat. His sharp eyes turn to you as you join him, softening at the sight of you.

“Good morning,” he greets you, a kind smile pulling at his features.

You return his smile half-heartedly, giving him a brief wave. “Hey, Kento. How’re you feeling about finals?”

He hums thoughtfully. “Prepared,” he decides after a moment. “Though I don’t believe there’s such a thing as too much studying.”

“Yeah… I get that,” you agree, watching the snow condense beneath your feet with each step. Comfortable silence falls over you as the crunching of snow and the sounds of passing students fills the air. The warmth of your breath surrounds you as you mindlessly stare at the sparkling coat of flakes across the ground.

After a few moments, Nanami hums again, interrupting the silence and pulling your attention back to him. His gaze flickers between your face and your hands.

“Are you alright?”

“Hm? Yeah, why?”

Again, his watchful eyes flicker down to your hands. “You’ve been zipping up and unzipping your jacket since we began walking.”

You purse your lips, finally following his gaze down to your jacket which must have been making a grating zipping noise the whole time that you hadn’t even noticed with how caught up in your thoughts you were.

“Sorry Kento,” you sigh, shaking your head. “Just a bit nervous.”

His head tilts. “What are you nervous about?”

“I have to make a presentation in Art History at the end of the day. No one else in class is presenting.” With a sheepish smile, you proceed to subconsciously begin playing with your zipper again, too caught up in your thoughts to realize you’re doing it.

“I see. Is that what Sukuna was working on this morning?”

“You have a class with him?”

“Yes. He’s in my Accounting class early on Tuesdays and Fridays,” Nanami explains, subtly watching the way you’re messing with your zipper again, though he keeps his mouth shut.

“Oh. He was working on things this morning?”

“I believe so. It didn’t seem like he was paying attention,” Nanami shrugs. “I assumed he was working on something else.”

You let out a breath. “That’s kind of a relief, honestly.”

Arching a brow, Nanami hums questioningly.

“I still don’t like public speaking,” you quietly mumble, zipping your jacket up fully and burying your face into the fabric as your cheeks heat up with embarrassment.

“Hm. I see,” the blonde hums, having been there during your Prom alongside Haibara. He’s well aware of the fallout that came with being named Prom Queen. “Well, you’ll have Sukuna with you, and I highly doubt anyone would comment with Sukuna at your side.”

“Scary dog privilege,” you agree.

“Sorry?” Kento’s brow furrows in confusion, leaving you giggling.

“Don’t worry about it.”

With a shake of his head, Kento opens the door to your next lecture and puts his focus into his notes as usual. You do your best to follow suit, but if your bouncing leg is any indicator, your focus isn’t long for this world and Nanami knows he’s in for a long study session in the coming week.

–

You did debate just not showing up, but if Sukuna was working on the presentation at an early morning class, you don’t have the heart to not show up at least for him. Still, your nerves are frayed at the seams in downright unease at the thought of being the only group to present your project.

The concept of being one of the only two people at the center of everyone’s attention all for being named the ‘best’ at something brings back too many memories for you to care to admit. Taking a deep breath, you do your best to keep your eyes on the prize: the extra credit.

Sukuna was right when he said you wouldn’t turn down extra credit. You would definitely think about turning it down when it came at the cost of your dignity and sanity, but with Sukuna at your side, you think you just might be alright.

At the end of the day, you know you need to keep your grades up if you want to keep your scholarship, and more importantly your parents happy, so with a deep breath, you focus on the class to the best of your ability, pushing aside your mess of anxiety and worries.

That is, until you glance back at Sukuna’s usual seat, only to find it empty and your heart damn near stops. Your eyes widen and in the least subtle way possible, you whip your head around the class in search of him. He has to be here. He promised to handle all the talking, you aren’t prepared, you… You can’t do this alone. Surely the professor will understand that too, right?

“Before I dismiss you all, I’d like to have a couple of exemplary students come up to present the Meaning in Art project I had you all submit a couple of weeks back.”

Your heart is thundering, your breathing growing shallow as panic sets in.

“These students displayed an impeccable understanding of the art and artists they chose to study, demonstrating this understanding through both their written and visual pieces.”

Your mouth is dry, your throat tight. Where the fuck is he? He wouldn’t throw you to the wolves like this, would he? You didn’t prepare anything, you were relying on him.

“With that being said, I’d like to invite these students up to the front of the class to give a short breakdown of their project.” Your name follows this statement, along with Sukuna’s, and the class goes silent.

Your hands are trembling as you stare in dismay at the desk sitting at the front of the room where Sukuna’s art is sitting, alongside your written thesis. You swallow hard, forcing down your nerves as all eyes fall to you.

On shaky legs, you slowly make your way down to the front of the class, quietly making your way up to the professor. “I- um-” you take a breath in an effort to calm your nerves. “Can we present next week instead? Sukuna- um- isn’t here,” you quietly whisper.

“Finals are in two weeks. This is the last class for this semester.”

Fuck.

“Right. Sorry, yeah. That’s fine,” you whisper, chewing on your lip as you turn to face the class. Dozens of pairs of judgmental eyes stare back at you and if the ground opened up and swallowed you whole, never to be seen again, it would be a better fate than what you were about to do. Alone.

“Um-” You mumble, clearing your throat as you pick up the printed thesis you wrote together with Sukuna. Surely he would walk through the door in just a few seconds, right? He would show up for you just like you did for him when Yuji was sick, right? This has to be a cruel prank.

“Speak up, please.” Your professor’s voice pulls you from the delusion that Sukuna was ever going to show up. The delusion that Sukuna ever cared.

Fuck, you just admitted to yourself that you like Sukuna.

You just came to terms with the fact that your attraction to him is more than just physical.

You’ve spent weeks defending him, even when he was a dick, but this really takes the cake.

Your chest tightens as you realize just how much he’s let you down. You want to cry, it’s a fight against your own body not to show just how nervous you are.

“For our-” You pause, staring down at the page with your name scrawled alongside Sukuna’s and a perfect score circled in red. “For my project,” you begin, taking a deep breath in an effort to push down the swirling anger, disappointment, and anxiety all threatening to suffocate you.

You launch into an explanation on the three pieces you and Sukuna had chosen, summarizing your thesis while fighting the tremble in your voice, putting every last ounce of effort you can into masking how nervous you are and avoiding the stares of your classmates.

Picking up the art Sukuna drew is when the last shreds of your dignity fall apart and tears prick in your eyes. Your voice wavers and you know everyone can tell. You can hear the whispers, the quiet giggles. You don’t know whether it’s directed at you or if they’re even paying attention to you at all, but each and every noise seems to drag you one inch closer to your own personal hell and you shrink into yourself as you attempt to explain Sukuna’s art.

Alone.

You can’t even say for sure if your words made sense towards the end of your presentation, the whole thing a blur behind tear-filled eyes and the ringing of anxiety in your ears. The only thing you do hear is your professor dismissing you. You don’t even grab your bag and you leave your project on the table, you just need out. You need air.

Your feet carry you out the door, your eyes trained on the ground as you do your best not to collide with anyone as you run for the doors. You don’t hear someone call your name in confusion and you don’t see them chase after you. So focused on fresh air, you forget how cold it is as the freezing air shocks your skin and chills your lungs.

Finding a spot beside the door outside, away from prying eyes and out of the way, you wrap your arms around yourself and wipe your tears, taking deep breaths to slow your racing heart.

“There you are. What happened?”

You blink a couple of times, trying to wipe any evidence of your tears as you lock eyes with familiar mahogany ones.

“Ken?” You barely manage to whisper his name, your breath stolen from your lungs by the anxiety rocking your body.

“What happened?” He pushes again, eyes traveling down to your trembling hands. He can’t tell whether that’s from the cold or your nerves, but like the gentleman he is, he pulls his coat off and throws it over your shoulders, zipping it up over your arms in an effort to keep you from freezing.

“He didn’t show up.”

Nanami’s lips press into a thin line, taking in your expression. You’re barely keeping it together, though the freezing air flooding your lungs is keeping your mind distracted.

With a sigh, Kento sets a hand on your shoulder. “Come back inside. Let’s get your coat.”

Slowly coming back down from your panicked state as his hand on your shoulder grounds you, you pause for a moment to take in the blonde in front of you. He’s in just a knit sweater and slacks, visibly shaking from the cold air now that you’re wrapped in his jacket.

“Shit, sorry Kento,” you mumble, letting him guide you back inside and to your lecture hall, where he takes his coat back and grabs your bags for you to avoid any prying eyes. Handing you your coat, followed by the bag he’s packed up for you, he sighs and leads the way to a secluded area of the History and Science building of the college. You don’t say a word as he sits you down on a bench.

“Are you alright?”

You nod.

“Are you lying?”

Your mouth opens to say no, but one glance at his sharp gaze tells you he sees right through you. “Were you outside my class?”

“Mhm. I wanted to make sure things went well.”

“That’s… Really kind, Nanamin. Thank you.”

He hums quietly, leaning back against the wall behind the bench. Someone walks past mumbling something to themself about failing a test, but it’s otherwise silent in the halls.

“How are you feeling?”

“I’ve been better. People were laughing.” You chew on your lip, rubbing your hands over your face.

“I’m certain they weren’t. Students laugh throughout class constantly, they likely weren’t paying attention,” he points out.

You know he has a point, but it doesn’t make the situation any less frustrating and disappointing.

“I don’t know what hurts more,” you say quietly, more to yourself than to Kento, “that he promised he’d be there with me and wasn’t, or having to relive that stupid moment in high school all over again.”

Your friend grimaces. “Yes, I can imagine that wasn’t pleasant. I’m sorry.” It’s about all he can offer in the moment, but mentally he’s thinking of mentioning what happened to Gojo and Geto and watching the drama that unfolds. The white haired frat boy would relish in the idea of having an actual reason to have beef with Sukuna.

“Why don’t we go grab something to eat?” Nanami suggests in an effort to get your mind off of your horrifying presentation and, more importantly, the man that’s managed to break your heart twice now.

“I’m okay. I think I just want to go home.”

“I would prefer if you weren’t alone,” Nanami protests.

“We just ate, though.”

“We can grab dessert, then. My treat,” he insists.

Silence follows as you look up at Nanami, finding comfort in the concern swirling in those deep mahogany irises. “Fine,” you sigh, relenting finally.

With a sympathetic smile, he gets to his feet and offers you his hand, helping you get to your feet as he leads the way back out into the cold with one goal in mind.

Keep your mind off of Sukuna.

main masterlist || series masterlist || previous chapter || next chapter - coming soon

❦ a/n ; sorry for the delay on this one!! i had a work conference all last week but had a ton of fun writing this when i got back, so i hope you all enjoyed it <3 as always, likes, reblogs, and comments are super appreciated <3

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stevihj · 14 hours ago

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Phone lock screen: Our kitten at 2 months.

Cheese or chocolate: both why choose?

Nicknames: Stevi is my nickname

Last song: Happily Never After by Syndi

Ever written Fanfiction: yeppers

Am I on discord: rarely

Piercings: I did. After a scheduled MRI, they were taken out and bent. Then I found out I was allergic to gold so I never put them back in

Most about a person: Not what they say, what they do

Cookie: M&M chocolate chip cookie

Cat or dog: Cat as they are more self-reliant. Not that I don't love dogs

headphones and earbuds: either depends on the situation

said out loud: hear baby pssst pssst *to my cat*

weird fact I know: Mt Everest grows 1/2 inch each year

Night owl

favorite place to nap: on top of our bed

LGBTQIA+: nope, just an ally

3 words to describe me: Happy, friendly and gamer

jeans or sweatpants: both

Starbucks: nope

Color can't stand: neon yellow looks like pee

prized possession: was my wedding ring (but gold) otherwise I don't know. They are just things.

coffee or tea: neither I don't drink caffiene

Favorite extinct animal: dinosaurs, of course modern animals - a hawaiian bird: the Kauaʻi ʻōʻō was the last member of the Mohoidae family, also known as the Hawaiian honeyeaters. The entire family is now extinct.

been on tumblr: over 6 yrs I have no idea

desert island item: a genius engineer

aesthitic: cottage comfy

dream job: play tester, animal comforter at a vet or mythbuster

relationship status: married happily for 30 yrs

favorite outfit: ball gown in dark green. Everyday: jeans and sweater

song lyrics I know all of: all of Bon Jovi's music, Metallica's Black album, Irish folk music, and many 80s songs

Hair color: was red. now gray/white brown

talk to myself: yeppers, mostly I talk to the cat

wear makeup: when I go out

best compliment: A strange man came up to me and said, "You look like you make a man happy." Then he left.

my favorite blog: any simmer, @caffiend-queen, @angryschnauzer, @pleasanttaleswithkaityb

~ 💖 ASK GAME 💖 ~

📷 What’s set as your phone’s lockscreen?

🍫 Cheese or chocolate?

✨ Do you have any nicknames?

🎵 Last song you listened to?

✏️ Have you ever written fanfiction?

😏 Are you on discord?

💛 Do you have any piercings?

🐰 What do you think says the most about a person?

🍪 If you were a cookie, what kind would you be?

🐶 Are you more of a dog person or a cat person?

🎧 Headphones or earbuds?

🌼 What’s the last thing you said out loud?

🙃 What’s a weird fact that you know?

🦉 Are you a morning person or a night owl?

🧸 Favorite place to nap?

🏳️‍🌈 Are you a member of the LGBTQIA+ community?

🦋 Describe yourself in three words.

👖 Jeans or sweatpants?

🥤 What’s your go-to Starbucks order?

🧡 A color you can’t stand?

💎 What’s your most prized possession?

☕ Coffee or tea?

🦖 Favorite extinct animal?

🌙 How long have you been on tumblr?

🌴 Desert island item?

🐸 Describe your aesthetic.

🔮 What’s your dream job?

💙 Relationship status?

🌿 Describe your favorite outfit.

🎤 Is there a song you know all the lyrics to?

🤎 What color is your hair?

💌 Do you talk to yourself?

💄 Do you wear makeup?

🌸 Best compliment you ever received?

💞 @ your favorite blog.

Reblogs are appreciated!

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creamflix · 2 days ago

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HOW DO THEY GRIEVE? — featuring sukuna, choso, gojo, geto, nanami, toji content warnings: no reader gender/anatomy implied. implied reader death, heavy angst no comfort. established relationship. reader is a mortal in sukuna's part. mentions of murder in toji's part. they/them pronouns used for reader in gojo's part.

the quiet haunted him most.

it wasn’t a noise, nor a cry, but the absence of it — a void left behind where your voice once existed, tugging at his mind like an insidious echo. sukuna sat still, his broad frame rigid against the edge of his throne, clawed fingers wrapped tightly around the curve of his jaw. he wasn’t one to cling, yet here he was, torn by shadows of something he couldn’t clutch tightly enough.

“pathetic,” he muttered to himself, the words bitter against his tongue. his voice cut through the silence, but it wasn’t yours. it would never be yours again.

there were moments, fleeting and infuriating, when he could almost remember you. a flash of a laugh — was it sharp? or soft? — your expression — smiling? or frowning? — your warmth, tangible yet distant, slipping through his memory like grains of sand. sukuna slammed his fist into the wooden armrest of his throne, splinters flying.

"damn you," he growled lowly, though he wasn’t sure if it was directed at himself or at you.

he knew this would happen. of course, it would. you were mortal. fleeting. time was never kind to mortals, and neither was he. what place did someone like you have in his world? he had convinced himself you’d be nothing more than a passing indulgence. but then you had dared to linger in ways no one else had, and sukuna, fool that he was, had allowed it.

he leaned forward, elbows on his knees, face buried in his hands. "what was it you used to call me?" his voice cracked — just slightly, a whisper against the still air. not king. not lord. no, you’d stripped him of those titles in private.

ryo.

the way you used to say his name — it hadn’t been reverent. not like others. you said it like it was yours, like he was yours.

but the sound was fading now, no matter how tightly he clung to it. sukuna’s fingers twitched against his temples, nails digging into his scalp. his crimson eyes burned, not with fury, but with a hollow ache.

“you dare slip away from me now?” his voice cracked in the empty room.

he stood abruptly, the motion nearly knocking the throne back. pacing, prowling, his footsteps thudded against the cold stone. his hands clenched and unclenched as though grasping for an answer.

“what was it —” he hissed, his tone a dangerous edge of desperation, “ — that made me let you in?” he paused mid-step, shoulders sagging under the weight of what he knew.

everything. everything about you.

he clenched his jaw, exhaling a breath that rattled with suppressed rage and sorrow. sukuna’s hand reached to his chest, curling around the fabric of his robe where his heart still stubbornly beat.

“if i ever hear your voice again…” he muttered, the words half-prayer, half-promise, “you won’t escape me a second time.”

choso sat in the quiet of his apartment, the hum of the fridge filling the silence. his fingers ghosted over the countertop, tracing invisible patterns that led nowhere. on the table sat a piece of toast, untouched and cold, its edges curling from neglect.

he stared at it, a lump forming in his throat. the memory hit him like a wave, vivid and all-consuming.

"it's just toast, cho!" you had laughed, your voice bright and teasing. he could still see the crinkle of your eyes, the way you covered your mouth to stifle your giggles when he flinched at the toaster's pop.

his chest tightened. "just toast," he echoed to the empty room, his voice hollow.

but it wasn’t just toast. nothing was ever just anything with you. every moment, every mundane thing, had been infused with the light of your presence, leaving pieces of you scattered throughout his life like breadcrumbs.

the laundry machine buzzed faintly in the background, and he shut his eyes. another memory clawed its way forward, unbidden.

“choso! what are you doing?!” you’d yelled, pulling his arm away just as he reached into the spinning drum. “you’ll lose a hand doing that!”

“but it wasn’t —” he had started, confused, only to be cut off by your exasperated sigh.

“don’t. just… don’t.”

and yet, after scolding him, you’d taught him how to sort clothes, how to fold shirts, how to care for the things that mattered.

“you’ve got to take care of things, cho. take care of people, too,” you’d said, softer that time, as you’d brushed lint off his shoulder. “it’s what makes us human.”

human.

his hands balled into fists on the countertop. you had taught him what it meant to be human — how to live, how to feel, how to care. you taught him to look beyond himself, to see others as more than just moving parts in the chaos of life.

“be kind,” you’d told him once, standing at a crosswalk as you watched him glare at a group of kids. “help the ones who need it. give up your seat. hold the door. even when it’s hard, choose kindness.”

he had rolled his eyes back then, muttering something about how the world didn’t deserve it. but you had smiled, patient and unyielding.

“do it anyway.”

the toast sat there, forgotten, as choso stared into the distance. how could he forget you? when you were everywhere? in the hiss of the washing machine, the smell of burnt toast, the sharp pang of guilt when he didn’t offer his seat to someone in need.

you were a part of him now, woven into his bones, etched into his heart.

“how could i forget you?” he whispered, voice trembling as he sat down, head in his hands.

he couldn’t. even if he wanted to. you had made him human. and now, with you gone, he didn’t know how to be anything else.

gojo satoru was a man of stories. he carried your memory in his words, carefully polished and tenderly spun, until they became legends that danced on the tongues of everyone he met.

"oh, y/n?" he'd grin, eyes glimmering like sunlight on fresh snow. "you should’ve seen the way they handled me. not many can keep up with this." he'd tap his temple, his grin softening.

he told them about how you made the best coffee in the mornings, even though you always claimed to hate the way he drowned it in sugar. how you made him laugh so hard that his infinity couldn’t protect him from doubling over. how your voice could cut through the chaos in his mind, grounding him in ways nothing else could.

you became a part of his stories, not just as someone he loved, but as someone who made him better. greater.

people listened with rapt attention, smiling at the way he spoke of you, as if you were still right there beside him. but when the crowds thinned, when the world grew quiet, and satoru was left with nothing but the weight of his own company, the facade cracked.

the apartment felt unbearably still, as if your absence was a tangible thing that pressed against him. he sat on the couch, elbows resting on his knees, head bowed. the usual sparkle in his eyes dulled to a glassy sheen.

his shoulders trembled first, a barely-there quiver that grew into a shudder as the first sob escaped his throat.

“damn it,” he choked out, his voice cracking as he pressed the heel of his palms into his eyes. “damn it, why’d you leave me with this?”

you were the strongest in ways he could never be. while he could manipulate the very fabric of space, you had wielded something far greater: love, compassion, humanity. things that made the unbearable weight of existence lighter, if only for a while.

"who’s gonna remember you when i’m gone?" he whispered into the empty room, voice breaking.

the thought gutted him. satoru lived for you now — not for his students, not for his title, not for his power. it was your memory that anchored him, the fear of losing even the smallest piece of you driving him to hold on tighter than ever.

“i can’t let that happen,” he muttered, fists clenching as fresh tears spilled down his cheeks. his breath came in sharp, uneven gasps. “i can’t let you disappear. not ever.”

so he stayed. fought. lived. not because he feared death — death had always been a fleeting thought to someone like him — but because without him, there would be no one left to carry your memory.

and if there was one thing gojo satoru would never let the universe take from him, it was you.

suguru cursed the gods, cursed fate, and cursed you.

it was easier that way. easier to let the anger scorch him from the inside out than to face the gnawing emptiness that came with your absence. he sat in the ruins of what had once been a temple, the scent of charred wood and blood still lingering in the air. his knuckles ached from where he’d slammed his fists into the wall, and his throat burned from the string of expletives he’d spat at no one in particular.

“why couldn’t you just listen?” his voice was a harsh rasp, cracking as he spoke to the void. “why did you have to be so damn… stubborn?”

you were supposed to understand. supposed to see the world the way he did, to join him in tearing it apart so it could be rebuilt into something better. but you hadn’t.

you stood your ground, unwavering in your righteousness, and it had infuriated him. because for all his power, all his conviction, he couldn’t convince you.

“it’s your fault,” he muttered bitterly, running a hand through his tangled hair. “you and your… your goddamn ideals.”

but the words rang hollow, even to him.

because you were the only one who’d ever made him question himself. you were the only one who’d ever dared to stand in his way, not with malice, but with love.

“you think you’re better than this,” you had told him once, your voice calm but firm. “but you’re not. and i can’t follow you down this path, suguru.”

he hated you for that — for being right. for loving him enough to try and stop him. and for leaving him when he wouldn’t stop.

his fingers tightened into fists, nails biting into his palms. “damn you,” he whispered, though the words lacked the venom they once had.

he wondered, sometimes, if you thought about him as much as he thought about you. if you still believed in the version of him you’d once loved, or if that image had crumbled under the weight of his choices.

maybe, in another life, things were different. a life where there were no sides to choose, no lines to cross, no ideals to clash over. just the two of you.

he closed his eyes, leaning back against the cold stone wall. the anger was gone now, leaving behind only exhaustion and a hollow ache in his chest.

“what am i waiting for?” he asked aloud, his voice barely above a whisper.

there was no answer, just the crackling of dying embers and the distant howl of the wind. but still, he waited.

for you to come back. for the pain to stop. for something — anything — that would make it all make sense again.

and until then, he would curse. and grieve. and wait.

toji didn’t know how to grieve.

his life had never made room for something as soft as sorrow. emotions, in his world, were a luxury — a liability he couldn’t afford. but now, in the absence of you, there was something gnawing at him, raw and unrelenting, that he couldn’t name.

he sat in the dim light of a dingy bar, nursing a half-empty glass of whiskey. the burn was familiar, but it didn’t distract him like it used to. his mind kept circling back to you, dragging him down into memories he couldn’t shake.

the way you used to fuss over his injuries, muttering curses at him for being reckless while your hands worked with tender precision. the way your laughter echoed, rich and warm, cutting through the cold veneer of his life. the way you’d touch his cheek, grounding him, reminding him he was more than the blade he carried.

and now? now there was nothing but silence.

“this one’s for you,” he muttered under his breath, finishing the glass in one harsh gulp before tossing a wad of bills on the counter.

it was always for you. every job, every gamble, every risk — your ghost lingered in every choice he made. toji didn’t bother questioning it; he couldn’t. the thought of you was the only thing keeping him moving, even if it came with a weight that threatened to crush him.

the alley was dark as he cornered his target, the blade in his hand gleaming faintly under the flickering streetlamp. the man whimpered, begging for mercy, but toji didn’t flinch. his movements were fluid, precise, and ruthless.

“don’t beg,” he growled, his voice low and cold. “this ain’t about you.”

and it wasn’t. not really. the man’s life had no meaning to him — just another pawn in the endless cycle of blood and violence. but the rage that fueled him? that was yours.

the blade struck, and with it came a flash of you — your smile, your voice, the warmth he could no longer reach. the man crumpled to the ground, lifeless, and toji stood over him, his chest heaving.

“still not enough,” he muttered, wiping the blade clean with a practiced motion.

it was never enough. no amount of blood could fill the void you left behind. but he kept going, each kill a hollow attempt to feel something other than this aching, unfamiliar emptiness.

toji leaned against the cold brick wall, the night air biting against his skin. he stared at his hands — steady, calloused, and stained.

“why’d you leave me with this, huh?” he muttered to the open air, his voice gruff but cracking at the edges. “you were the only thing that ever made sense.”

his hands clenched into fists, the blade trembling slightly in his grip. this is for you, he reminded himself, even if he didn’t know why. even if it didn’t bring you back.

he ached, and it hurt, but he didn’t know what to do with that pain. so he killed. and he killed. and every time, it was for you.

nanami was a man of routines.

quiet, deliberate, purposeful routines.

he didn’t waver in them, not even after you were gone. if anything, they became his lifeline, a fragile thread tethering him to the semblance of normalcy he desperately clung to.

he set out two plates every night, one for him, one for you. it wasn’t a conscious decision at first; his hands simply moved on autopilot, muscle memory guiding him. but when he sat down to eat, staring at the empty plate across from him, the quiet would settle in — a heavy, suffocating kind of quiet that only existed in the absence of you.

your pillow remained fluffed on the bed, as if you’d be home any moment to claim your spot. sometimes he’d catch himself reaching out to brush a stray hair off it, only to remember it wasn’t yours — it never could be again.

and then there were the chips. that oily, utterly ridiculous brand you adored.

nanami didn’t even like snacks, much less those chips, but he found himself restocking them on every grocery run. he would walk past the aisle, hesitate, and then grab a bag, telling himself it was just habit.

but one day, curiosity — or maybe desperation — got the better of him. he opened the bag, the crinkle of plastic unnervingly loud in the stillness of the house. the scent hit him first, greasy and artificial, and he almost put the bag down.

“what on earth did you see in these?” he muttered under his breath before popping one in his mouth.

it was awful. salty, greasy, overwhelmingly artificial.

and he cried.

the chip barely registered as he sat down heavily, shoulders trembling as tears rolled down his face. it wasn’t the taste — it was everything else. the bag in his hands, the faint smell of your favorite flowers still lingering from the vase on the kitchen counter, the stupid chipped mug you refused to throw away because it was yours.

everything screamed you. your presence was embedded in every corner of the house, in every routine, every object, every space you had once occupied.

and nanami realized, in that moment, how deeply ingrained you were in his life. how even in your absence, you filled it in ways he couldn’t escape.

his fingers tightened around the bag as he let the tears come, quiet and unrelenting.

maybe it was okay to grieve.

maybe it was okay to hold onto the pieces of you that lingered, to let them anchor him in a world that felt so much colder now.

and as he wiped his face with the back of his hand, setting the bag aside, he thought — maybe, just maybe, it was okay to keep buying those ridiculous chips, even if they tasted like crap. because they were yours. and so, in some small, bittersweet way, they were his, too.

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