#Number 1 Sexyman?!?!

[kaus-quietis]

as a sidenote, when my queue will be filled and active again on my sideblog you'll see SO much classic / og Sans content you won't believe your eyes

there will also most probably be plenty of Death Note and Monster reblogs too. anyway i always tag my stuff so you'll be able to filter anything out if you want

[dragonomatopoeia]

119 possible results in this what character are you uquiz. yet the majority of people seem to be getting either rose lalonde or jughead. and then 0% of test takers getting Reigen Arataka. 0%. And Me

[make-cutump-canon]

god DAMN he's a hunk

Dessriel fanart!!! That I was gonna post with the dess design but it’s too much

Αlso camera version!!

[owsthetic]

reigan arataka could fix dexter morgan, i will not elaborate.

[steence]

woah. 2 yrs since the queen died. and it feels like just yesterday people were telling me i had to not kill myself so i could outlive the queen.

[elmaxlys]

crying shaking sobbing

[ph0enix-12]

CONGRATS CROSS!

Im kinda pissed Nightmare got canned the first round, but Cross is my second favourite so im pretty content

He did it!!! And I can’t wait to see what special thing that you’ve prepared for him!*^O^*

GOD I can't express how happy I am now ♡ Congratulations everyone!! \(//∇//)/☆

The special thing is coming soon ♪

[simblorbo-bracket]

Submission Info

So, you think you've got what it takes to be Simblr's next sexyman? Prove it!

The Rules:

Deadline for submissions is: September 11th

Submissions must be a sim. They can be from any game, but they must be: Your own original creation, an EA/Maxis premade, your own makeover of an EA/Maxis premade, or the offspring of some combination of the above.

You may not submit sims belonging to someone else. All non-premade sims must be submitted by their creators.

Sims must be at least a Young Adult. Some games do ages differently, but we wont be accepting any teens, children, toddlers, infants, etc.

Sim does not need to be playable or human. For example, Grim Reaper, the mother plant, etc. (We will be following the Harkness test here, ok?)

You may submit multiple sims. Go nuts. Our max number of participants is currently 256, there's no way we're getting there even if everyone submits like, 10 sims.

Images must be safe to post on tumblr. I don't want polls getting flagged and skewing the results, so keep it clean-ish. (I won't blame anybody if a post does get flagged, it's not your fault, but like, no full frontal nudity, okay? Let's use some common sense is all)

No negative propaganda.

Sims may be rejected at moderator discretion.

Ok? Now we're moving on to the real good stuff:

How to submit your sim(s):

Make a post on your blog (or one post per sim, if you prefer), @ this blog (@simblorbo-bracket), and make sure you include the following info for each sim:

Name of sim

At least 1 image of the sim (A main image will be included above the poll, additional images will be below a readmore alongside the propaganda. You can specify which image you'd like to use as the main, if you have a preference)

Whether they are an original creation, premade, or makeover

(Optional) Propaganda! Why should people vote for your sim? Remember: no negative propaganda. Lift up your candidate instead of putting others down.

That's it! Your submission will be reblogged or replied to by this account if everything is in order and your submission has been accepted! If you don't hear back in a timely fashion, you can send an ask or a message to follow up. It's possible I missed it! I'm only human.

[funnycreatortimetravel]

I love how incels/misogynistic people are like, "for girls to love you, you need to be six feet tall, be super rich and have a lot of muscles, and even then, you'll STILL be cheated on!"

And then you look at Sans fans and they were ironically the most loving people ever and were willing to turn a blind eye to everything so long as you were a skeleton and mildly funny.

And I'm being so dead ass here because the funny part is, he doesn’t have nor ever had any redeeming qualities in or outside of a relationship.

Like, dude canonically eats mayonnaise and drinks ketchup for fun:

Doesn't take baths regularly:

May be two feet tall (I'm still crying at the possibility that he's the height of a toddler, though I'm sure that was heavily exaggerated on the part of the fandom.)

But at most, he's the height of a child who's 12/13 at the oldest, so he's around four feet at the tallest (😭😭😭)

And if bro is too lazy to get a shower regularly, what makes Sans girlies think he'd be a good contender for a relationship? 😭

He's literally the exact thing that incels say a girl wouldn't want, and yet he was Tumblr's number 1 Sexyman purely for his personality (I'm choosing to believe it was purely for his personality because like, what else CANONICALLY (I'm looking at you traumatizing glowing blue hotdog fanart that is STILL ON GOOGLE and clearly visible by just looking up Sans) does he have going for him 😭

And even worse, I'll list all of these facts and people will STILL be in love with him.

To all of the Sans fans who have grown up and started dating (and maybe you outgrew your fangirl status and maybe you haven't), I wish nothing but the best for you because lord knows it doesn't take a lot to make you guys happy it seems 😭

I wonder where you guys are all at in life, dating or otherwise.

[lancer-league]

LAMERS AND GAMERS, ONE AND ALL, WELCOME TO THE LANCER LEAGUE

That's right everybody, it's time to have tumblrs favourite lancers duke it out in the arena

To start let's make sure we're all on the same page

What is a Lancer?: put simply, a Lancer is character who serves as a foil to/contrast their leader. They must be part of a group of 3 or more.

Ideal lancers are generally kind of an asshole, jaded, snarky, more morally grey than the leader and often oppose the leader. While these are great none are strictly necessary. They can be stoic, part of the bad guy team, or even a half Lancer half leader with another half Lancer half leader. Characters can Lancer and be lancered by multiple people. It's unlikely I'll accept real people or Ocs so unless you can bring a great, long argument for their inclusion so if you can't then don't bother

Usual brackets style, a series of one-on-ones, progressing through several rounds. Fighters will mostly make it to round 1 based on number of submissions(spaming is negative submissions) but when theres equal submissions remaining I'll chose based on how convincing your descriptions are.

@ing for broadcasting:

@number-two-tournament

@lovableassholestournament

@fuckable-old-man-battle

@eyepatchbracket

@mad-scientist-showdown

@autismswagsummit

@blue-character-brawl

@the-ultimate-tournament

@fakedmydeathtournament

@redandbluebracket

And I ran @sexyman-sillyguy-battle a while ago

Icon is from OSPs youtube video on lancers which can also give you a good idea of what a Lancer is.

[undertale-ost-tournament]

Welcome to the UNDERTALE OST TOURNAMENT

I'm probably not the first person to do this, but I decided I wanted to, and so I will.

Tournament Layout

The tournament will be split into two stages.

In the first stage, polls containing 4 songs will be posted. Each will last a week, and there will be 25 polls in total, one posed a day. This means Stage 1 will take about a month to complete.

The winner and second place in each poll will move onto Stage 2. The top 14 third place songs (as decided by the proportion of the votes they recieved) will also move on.

I've tried to partially seed the groups, placing one of the 25 most popular (to me, you may disagree with the choices) Undertale songs into each group.

In Stage 2, there will be several rounds of single elimination, going from 64 to 32 to 16 and 8 and 4 and 2 and finally the best Undertale song.

Feel free to send in propaganda for your favourite tracks.

Frequently Asked Questions

Where's Megalovania!?

Megalovania is by far the most popular Undertale song, and we all know it would win the whole tournament if entered. Hence, I've removed it from the list. This also has the additional bonus of giving exactly 100 tracks to work with.

I also may or may not run a quote-unquote "thug finals" after the winner is crowned, to see if MEGALOVANIA really would have beaten it.

Where's Mad Mew Mew/Wrong Number etc.?

This tournament is being run using only the tracks from the official Undertale OST. However, I may eventually do a tournament for ALL Undertale and Deltarune (and Homestuck) songs, and if so, Mad Mew Mew will definitely feature.

Who are you?

I doubt many people will ask this, but my main is @airprime7. I don't really post Undertale content there, but I enjoy the game and especially the music.

Tagging other Tournament blogs, because that seems to be general etiquette for this?

@tournament-winners-tournament @tournament-announcer @who-do-i-know-this-man @autismswagsummit @overworkedblorbobattle @ao3femslashtop100-tournament @characterswithgodsnamesbattle @queerplatonicshipshowdown @best-transgender-character probably a bunch of others i cant find, someone please tag the sexyman and sexywoman tournaments too I can't find them either.

Also @doyoulikethissong-poll because they're a song-related poll blog.

[this-glittering-world]

Current total votes in Stucky vs Blackbonnet: 40,226

Current total votes in Destiel vs Mulder/Scully: 37,574

Comparison numbers from mcytblr sexyman:

The Joe vs Scar final had 38,119 total votes.

Scar vs Techno had 46,459 total votes.

Of course, the one above them all, Joe vs Quackity, is still way ahead with 61,846. But the ship polls still have several days left to close that gap.

And this is just round 2

these polls are getting BIG huh

like look at the numbers on that y axis. actually ridiculous

[napoleonic-sexyman-tournament]

What do you think you will do since the Napoleonic sexyman tournament is over? Aside from continuing the LATAM sexyman tournament ofc.

First, we are going to finish the LatAm sexyman sexyman tournament.

Second, we are both going to take a break. Speaking for myself as admin 1, the 128 person tournament was a lot of work and I have other things going on in my life at the moment that need more urgent attention.

Third, people have expressed interest in a redemption tournament. We have disqualified the top 8 finishers from this tournament (Dorothea von Biron, Horatio Nelson, Alexander von Humboldt, Klemens von Metternich, Thomas-Alexandre Dumas, Jack Aubrey, Emma Lady Hamilton, and Pyotr Bagration) and a handful of other people who were difficult to find pictures for like Hippolyte Charles. We will eventually open a submission form to add people to even out the numbers.

Then we'll make a new bracket and go again, and maybe Napoleon will get through more than one round this time.

[theindescribable1]

Mutual Collaboration

Helloooo my friends and Mutuals I have a favor to ask of you! On your blog make an oc reference sheet and tag me if you want to be in my Mutual Collaboration drawing! Its simple!

To join, simply make a reference sheet! It just means I'll draw your ocs with mine in a large drawing for getting 500+ Followers!

No catches! Its... FREE!

Think of it as a fun game!

1

OC LIMIT

Only 1 because I want to fit as many as possible!

Ty for

500

Followers!

🎉🎊

@valthetvhead @the-monsters-in-1870 @yourhappyfella @clownpallete @essentially-a-worm-on-a-string @invisible-hidden @siren-serotonin @carol-clown @art-mushroomy

Spread the word fellas and tell me if you wanna join

ART NUMBER BLOCK

SIMPLE RULES!

Give me a number and I'll draw the prompt!

Yandere

Inverted color

Furry

Gender swap

Bbg pose

"Spooky"

Gorey

Cringe costume

80s style

Clownified

Emo

Furby

Terrible pick-up line

Animal ears

Lots of belts

Bad outfit

Creepy pasta

Cringe Role-play

Shrek reference

2012 mustache

Tumblr sexyman

Hot 'n evil

Blue hair

1999 partying

FNAF

Self insert

Hair over 1 eye

Artist's choice

Maid dress

2000s alt fashion

Cross dressing

Make ocs CUTE

Give ocs Tails

Friday Night Funkin'

Ocs as cupheads

HAVE FUN :)

[unofficial-fhr-polls]

What's this? We're not done yet?

As per a suggestion. We are hosting a mini-tournament, a "loser's" bracket. Who is the sexiest loser? Or perhaps, the least sexyman?

Going back all the way to round 1 and picking out those who lost the hardest. All of these losers had 20% or under (with the exception of Jake, who is included for being close to this number and to round out the poll to an even number of new contestants).

Below are the matchups for this bonus sub-tournament.

These matches will go live tomorrow (June 4th), either lasting a week or a day. (Undecided as of now, this blog is open to feedback on it, so let us know what length you'd prefer!)

This blog is also open to new propaganda for these contestants!

#fhr sexyman tournament

[vickyvicarious]

Beetle Bracket

The substack is over now, it's time to be honest. None of us truly needed The Beetle in our lives. And do you know what we need even less? That's right:

The Beetle Sexyman* Bracket!

*gender, species, and probably even sexiness-neutral

That said, let's subject ourselves to this anyway.

There will be a grand total of five rounds, at the end of which the burning question will finally be answered: who is sexiest in Richard Marsh's The Beetle?

The Beetle Bracket is complete! See below for our final competitor's trophies, and below the cut for number breakdowns/writeups of each round.

Round One Breakdown

In the exact opposite of a shocking twist, Mr. Lindon was absolutely demolished by Train. Out of 130 votes, he got only 0.8%, compared to Train's whopping 90%. Excluding em-dash votes, that adds up to 117 for votes for Train and a measly 1 for Mr. Lindon.

Perhaps the biggest challenge this round was telling the contestants apart (at least in the wonderful accompanying art). However, people pulled through for Edwards, deeming that his ability to survive Sydney is the sexier quality. Out of 55 votes, Edwards won with 52.7%, compared to Peter's 27.3%. Excluding em-dash votes, that's 29 votes for Edwards, and 15 for Peter.

Brick Guy aimed his stones at the voters' hearts, it seems! Out of 58 votes, he won handily with 87.9%, while Mrs. Henderson netted a mere 5.2%. Excluding em-dash votes, that makes 51 votes for Brick Guy, and 3 for Mrs. Henderson.

Another easy victory! The Flirty Constable was confirmed far sexier than Louisa Coleman, who could only disapprove out her window. Out of 47 votes, he got 83%, against Louisa Coleman's 8.5%. Excluding em-dash votes, that's 38 votes for Brick Guy, and 4 for Louisa Coleman.

We always knew this would be the real nail-biter of Round One, and it didn't disappoint! The vote was the closest by far, and both contestants exchanged the winning spot multiple times, but in the end Cat narrowly eked out a win... true to life, at least in my experience of cat vs. carpet battles. Out of 152 votes, Cat won with 44.7%, against Carpet's 42.1%. Excluding em-dash votes, that makes 68 votes for Cat, and 64 for Carpet.

One last gimme to finish us off this round. Out of 65 votes, Glove Seller won with 80%, Matthews trailing at 15.4%. Excluding em-dash votes, that adds up to 52 votes for Glove Seller, and 10 for Matthews.

Round Two Breakdown

Look, he's no Superman - Robert Holt stood no chance against this runaway Train, it seems. Out of 102 votes, it barreled to victory with 58.8% against Bobert's 31.4%. Excluding em-dash votes, that makes 60 votes for the train, and 32 for Holt.

Nearly everyone agrees that No One is sexier than Augustus Champnell! No, not like that. I mean, the detective is significantly less sexy than the mere concept of no one at all. Out of 64 votes, No One handily won with 81.3% against Augustus's 9.4%. Excluding em-dash votes, that is 52 votes for No One, and 6 for Augustus Champnell.

Marjorie Lindon may have three men canonically head-over-heels for her, but neither Edwards nor Tumblr count among those numbers - though this was the closest match this round. Out of 41 votes, he quickly defeated her with 48.8% against her 31.7%. Excluding em-dash votes, that makes 20 votes for Edwards and 13 for Marjorie.

Percy Woodville doesn't want to fight - but luckily the voters were willing to do so for him! Out of 43 votes, he took 58.1%, compared to Brick Guy's 30.2%. Excluding em-dash votes, that becomes 25 votes for Percy, and 13 for Brick Guy.

The Beetle has many mystical abilities. Chief of these, it seems, is being literally the only main character to survive their first round in the sexyman contest! Speaks to the (lack of) sexiness in Marsh's writing, I suppose. Out of 104 votes, The Beetle won easily with 66.3%, while the Flirty Policeman only had 13.5%. Excluding em-dash votes, that makes 69 votes for Theb (nice), and 14 for the policeman.

He survived it twice, thanks to Edwards and The Beetle (more worthy competitors according to this round), but the third time seems to have been the charm. Sydney Atherton was absolutely slaughtered by Atherton's Magic Vapour! Out of 47 votes, the murdergas got 72.3% compared to Sydney's 17%. Excluding em-dash votes, that adds up to 34 votes for the vapour, and only 8 for its creator.

The Cat is no longer just lurking outside Paul Lessingham's house in hopes of pets and food. Oh no, it's shaping up to be a fierce competitor indeed! Out of 58 votes, it won easily with 58.6%, versus Paul's 29.3%. Excluding em-dash votes, that makes 34 votes for our favorite feline, and only 17 for the erstwhile statesman.

Glove Seller took an early lead, and Dora Grayling simply never caught up. Honestly, she'd probably be fine with it, she only cares about Sydney anyway. Out of 74 votes, Glove Seller easily won with 47.3%, Dora only getting 33.8%. Excluding em-dash votes, that equals 35 for Glove Seller, and 25 for Dora.

Round Three Breakdown

In any other sexyman bracket this matchup might not have meant so much, but I think we all understand these were some top contenders who both deserve our respect. Still, only one could continue on... and with the narrowest margin of victory in the entire bracket thus far, that turned out to be the Train! Out of 56 votes, it won with 46.4% against No One's 41.1%. Excluding em-dash votes, that makes 26 votes for Train, and 23 for No One. (Cat vs. Carpet had a difference of 4 votes, being the second-closest match. I'm loving that the fiercest battles are the ones with no people involved.)

Percy Woodville's charms carried the day once again, this time with a rather dramatic lead. I'm sure he's much more surprised than we are. Out of 38 votes, he had 78.9%, leaving Edwards in the dust with 10.5%. Excluding em-dash votes, that adds up to 30 votes for Percy, and 4 for Edwards.

Perhaps it's The Beetle's sheer unbridled charisma, perhaps it's the fact that the vapour has 'Atherton' in the name... Either way, this round was a slam dunk for our favorite coleoptera, proving that at least in this case canon was onto something. Out of 83 votes, The Beetle took 72.3% while Atherton's Magic Vapour could only muster up 13.3%. Excluding em-dash votes, that equals 60 for Theb, and just 11 for the vapour.

Well, it had a good run... but in the end the Cat just didn't know what to do in the face of that many gloves, just like everyone else Glove Seller has come up against. (It's fine, I'm officially declaring that she adopted it. These matches only end in death when the loser sucks.) Out of 52 votes, Glove Seller won with 53.8% versus Cat's 40.4%. Excluding em-dash votes, that would be 28 for Glove Seller, and 21 for the kitty.

Round Four Breakdown

He put up a good fight, and managed to close the initial gap somewhat, but in the end Percy just didn't have the requisite sexiness to defeat the mighty Train. Out of 63 votes, it won with 60.3%, against Percy's 28.6%. Excluding em-dash votes, that equals 38 votes for Train, and 18 for Percy.

Glove Seller may be many things (to us; she is admittedly very few things in canon), but apparently those do not include immunity to The Beetle. Winning with their narrowest margin yet, they still easily took over half of all votes! Out of 47 votes, Theb won with 63.8% versus Glove Seller's 23.4%. Excluding em-dash votes, that makes 30 votes for the Beetle, and 11 for Glove Seller.

As per vast majority vote, there will now be a third-place match next round. Apologies to the three of you who didn't want it, feel free to seek out your nearest hypnotist bugperson and ask them to erase the memories of whatever the results may be from your mind.

Final Round Breakdown

It seems that we are all the Train fiends today. At least for this one particular train. Out of 128 votes, it took the win with a solid 56.3%, against The Beetle's 31.3%. Excluding em-dash votes, that adds up to 72 votes for Train, and 40 for the Beetle. It seems some things are just meant to be. Theb will simply have to fly away with the silver, for now...

While the finale results were accurate to canon, that's not the case for third place! Percy Woodville made one final effort and overtook Glove Seller's early lead. Out of 57 votes, he won with 47.4%, against Glove Seller's 31.6%. Excluding em-dash votes, that equals 27 votes for Percy and 18 for Glove Seller. Honestly, I think she'd be proud of him, and if my official stance means anything to you, then you should know that Glove Wins (aka Persally aka this ship) is beetle bracket canon in my heart.