#Now they are chunky vines

[trashofire]

I bought my mom a jewellery set(?) and I decided to paint the top of the box ^^

Im not the best with paint but I think I did a decent job

[mothmansbanker]

Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap- Prologue

Mammon x Human! Reader

It was a wild night for you. It was only Wednesday and you were dead tired, having to work the next morning for the broadcasting station you recently applied for. Why did you feel so drained? So so tired and ready to drop, yet your roommate didn't care! Instead she dragged you out and about to her coffee shop friend's house 30 ish or so miles out of town and towards the more foresty areas of your small town. So…here you were.

With your head against the hot window that had your skin drenched with humid sweat and a gross icky feeling that made your skin itch adn want to crawl out of. "Hey uh,Gwen. Where exactly are you taking me? This seems..a bit far." You gulped down the gathering spit in your mouth, a feeling of uneasiness washing over you as you sat up a bit more in the passenger seat. The blonde woman glanced over before looking back at the road, a somewhat dorky grin tugging at her lips. "Oh come on, are you really that worried about it? Trust me! I'm not an axe murderer or something." Gwen rolled her eyes as she came to an intersection and singaled right…which lead into an even darker part of the forested area. There did seem to be some light, a small dull glow seemed to coat some of the lower branches of the trees.

The car crept closer to this decently well kept cabin that seemed spacious. Two other cars were parked in the front, the quiet noise filling your head with dred as the leaves crunched under the tires before Gwen parked terribly beside the two other vehicles. "Alright," she clapped her hands together before removing her seat belt and kicking open the car door, "Cmon! Out out. We're just going to head inside that front door kay?" She gave you her usually dorky grin before shutting the car door, heaving out a sigh you unbuckle yourself and take a deep breath in…to mentally prepare. Opening the card door you grab your bag and hurry out, slinging your bag over your shoulder and slamming the door shut. This felt like a bad idea.. Your stomach was rolling in its grave. Clenching and twisting in ways to make you wince. Was this a good idea? Going to a complete strangers house with your roommate to do who knows what! Remember your breathing exercises..

…1…and 2…1…and 2… You were okay for now. Until this was over and you can go back home and become your true slug self. Wrapped in blankets and binging some trashy reality tv. An uneasy feeling filled your stomach like lead as you walked into the crickety cabin, the wooden walls looking rustic and ready to blow down if someone even blew on them. Moss and vines kissed the stone path and the wooden logged walls, the door rickety and thumping against the doorframe slightly from the gusts of wind that pulled and pushed the wooden rectangle. You gulped down that residing fear, trailing behind your roommate who hurried up the three crickety steps and knocked obnoxiously. "BeccaaaaAAAaaaAA! Cmonnnn, open up, bitch." It was obvious Gwen and Becca's relationship was like that. Playful with mean comments and names, but honestly it was probably the best friendship anybody could ask for. Or even want! As you waited there on the first step while Gwen was on the first you could hear a quick patter of footsteps and then a thud and a loud meow that sounded like a smug cat...those smug bastards. Opening the door was a tall woman who looked like she had just woken up. Basket ball shorts, some overly baggy and ratted up shirt that had a cat on it, cozy socks with crocs...which was a crime in your opinion, but you decided to ignore that part. She had her hair in space buns atop her head, a bit damp but neatly placed. You stood there now on the second step watching as the two exchanged hugs and smiles, Gwen motioning you inside as she stepped inside, a overly chunky cat making it's way towards you. At least there was a cat! A orange tabby with no thoughts behind its eyes, eager to flick its tail and rub against your leg as if demanding for treats or pets. A tired smile made its way to your lips as you squat down to rub the cat and give it scratches...before it bit you half way through. Scurrying off to who knows where while you stand back up and look at the nibble mark left upon the crook of your hand.

"So....What are we doing? My plans for tonight were just gonna be to chill maybe..and well a new episode of The Girls is on and I was gonna finish that season-" Your rambling was quickly interrupted by the two other girls laughing, Becca wiping a fake tear from her eye.

"Holy shit, Gwen, you didn't tell me your roomie was a riot! God I love you already." Becca had a smile still on her face, but in a cute dorky way. As she wrapped an arm around your shoulder she brought you in close so you were nose to nose now.

"Listen. You're cute, but you seem VERRYYY boring. Have some fun! Ever try those shitty cringe challenges from middleschool?" Before you could even THINK about answering her question she placed both her manicured hands on your cheeks and squished them, "Gwen and I found one and we wanted to try! buuutttt...we needed a third person! Which is youuuu~ Isn't that fun?" The feeling of being overwhelmed washed over you as you just furrowed your eyebrows and looked confused as she was rambling about some 'spooky challenge' and it probably not going to work. What were they even talking abou- your swirling thoughts were quickly and once again interrupted as she started wrapping a piece of deep green fabric around your eyes.

"Wait- hold on!" Your frustration grew as you tried to get away from Becca's touches and grabs, "You haven't even told me what I'M doing!-" You felt a set of hands on the sides of your face, holding your cheeks as the scent of mint and cigarettes wafted over. "Cmonnn, babes! Just trust us! You trust me right? I'm your best friend!" "Gwen, you're my only friend." Was your only reply as you felt the same frustration, but diluted a little bit now. As the blindfold was snugly tightened against your face and blocking your vision, it felt as if your other sense were heightened. You could hear the slight creaking of the house and the small giggles between the two girls. You could smell the minty and menthol scented breath still of Gwen, and the light airy perfume that Becca wore that reminded you of an old woman at a thrift store. Suddenly you were pushed further into the room, the sound of a rug dragging along the wooden floor was loud in the depths of silence that was cascaded down on you. Shivers spiked along your spine as you tried to be calm, hearing the click and flicker of a lighter somewhere to the side of you as one of the girls sat you down on your knees, locking your knees and elbows together.

Trust them right? Trust Gwen? You knew Gwen since freshman year of highschool..So why shouldn't you trust her? But there was that feeling of doubt and uneasiness planting itself in the pit of your stomach, its seed sprouting and its roots planting itself inside of you more permanently. Your breath quickened as you tried to steady it, panic washing over you as a low hum was heard form the two. Then it began. The softly low mumbling of the two girls as a pouring sound was heard to the left of you, a liquid hitting the cusp of metal. A smell lingered, a burning smell. With a hint of rotten eggs and the smell of some burnt meat... An acidic feeling rose within the back of your throat before a weird smoke began spreading through out the room, filling your nose with a acidic putrid smell that was thick. Scrunching your nose the distinct sound of...a cash register was filling the air for a split moment? Then you heard it. The rough whiny sound of some angry Australian.

"Now which one of you fucking cunts summoned THE Prince of GREED to this SHIT HOLE?!"

[maxinemaxmayfield]

Twelve Days of Stranger-mas (4/12)

I'm using the twelve days of Christmas prompts from the @strangerthingswritersguild to create an ongoing fic with a short chapter for each day! steddie | teen&up | temporary character death

PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE

Day 4 Prompt: Four Chunky Rings

From the face alone, the creature towering over him resembles a demogorgon. But rather than an unclothed body of slimy flesh, this creature is wearing a familiar outfit – a worn denim vest thrown over a leather jacket, with a red-faced demon peeking out from beneath. 

Steve freezes, heart somehow both pounding and skipping a beat at once. He couldn’t move if he tried now, vines twisting and writhing their way over his limbs and pinning him to the uneven ground. 

The long-fingered hands reach out towards Steve’s face, adorned with a set of chunky rings. It’s wrong, it’s all so wrong. He squeezes his eyes shut as his chest tightens, threatening to crush his lungs. 

When he opens them again, there’s no demogorgon, no denim vest, no rings. There’s just his bedroom ceiling, barely visible in the darkness. 

Steve still can’t catch his breath.

NEXT: PART FIVE

[fox-guardian]

Jimmy Wimmy's Big Boy voice afghgfhg Gonna pretend that when he forgets why he fell he thought it was because he danced too hard, so he goes out to the floor for "Round 2" lol

And Anya's so cute; it's so nice to see her having fun and being carefree. Give this woman all the overpriced alcohol and greasy bar food she can stomach STAT! Love the 70's kinda vibe she's got going on too... chunky jewelry Anya so perf~

May I headcanon Swansea as their designated driver and Curly, who could drink if he so chose, stays sober so Big Swans doesn't feel left out? They drink water and eat complimentary peanuts at one of the tables with glow sticks so the others can find them...

(Also hope your experiences at Da Clurb are fun and enjoyable FG!)

curly finds jimmy on the floor like "all good?" "got mad. forgot why...." "ah. wanna go dance?" ".... ya"

and im glad you like the anya look in this comic!! i tried to go for like. comfortable and movable, goth-ish, with a retro vibe. ended up falling into whimsigoth-ish (especially in color, which i will post Later)

swansea is def staying sober, i actually keep picturing him taking his wife with him and they dance together and sip dr pepper or smth. curly would def be the designated driver for the other three, since swansea and wifey drove separate (curly's car can only fit so many people). he's probably claiming a corner for the night and doing the thing from that one vine where he's just holding a drink and unfocusing his eyes so he can zone out when he's not actively watching the others' antics

(and thankies, thus far i've had p good experiences clubbing now and then lol)

[lasudio]

VeronaHills, Round Eleven: Roseland

In lieu of chlorophyll greening the skin, Sunny took after his sunkissed dad.

Penny marvelled at her little boy. He liked bathtime and sunshine well enough but he needed peanut butter and jam sandwiches and baked beans and spaghetti bolognese. The caloric cravings of humanity gurgled within him - Penny could hear it when she pressed her lips to his little stomach to blow raspberries. When he was born, she saw Cyd's forest eyes and earthy hair and waited for vines to start tracing their way down his limbs and flower petals to sprout from his head. There were still none; if not now, probably never.

"He has your ears!" That's all Cyd saw as he proudly proclaimed Sunny's resemblance to his mother. An equally delighted Grandpa Skye would have pulled multiple elf compendiums from the shelf to pore over. Penny could only imagine the joy of her dad discovering a rare result of intermingled birds and bees between humans and faeries, right here in his own grandson.

"Alright little man, what do you want to snack on?"

"Apple!" Perched in Cyd's arms on the porch, Sunny stuck a chunky finger at one of the trees in the garden.

A freshly picked favourite for the whole family.

[miloscat]

[Review] Sonic Superstars (PS5)

Classic style Sonic that’s not a one-off event, not a rehash… and not perfect.

After the success of Sonic Mania, Sega has greenlit more projects set in Sonic's "Classic" era (along with an annoying insistence on segregating certain characters and elements to either Classic or Modern), such as comics and this game. Sonic Superstars sees Sonic's original character designer Naoto Ohshima reunite with the series via his new company Arzest. Now Arzest (and their predecessor Artoon) are known for games popularly thought of as mediocre, including the recent Balan Wonderworld. Personally I'll defend Yoshi's Island DS and Hey Pikmin, but is Superstars their best game yet? Eh, maybe.

Unlike Mania which directly aped the Mega Drive games, Superstars is built in a 2.5D engine. The graphics are 3D models and high definition, and they're delightfully colourful and chunky. Also unlike Mania, the levels are all new and original, although several are takes on existing ideas. There's some great new concepts in here though, like an El Dorado-inspired stage, a neon cyberspace zone, or a time-reversing collapsing base. One stage even puts you into a brief but fully-fledged Fantasy Zone homage, with two shmup-style bosses!

The big new gimmick is up to four-player simultaneous co-op, expanding on the Sonic & Tails gameplay of Sonic 2, 3, and 4 Episode 2. Of course Knuckles is along for the ride, and unlike Mania, Amy is finally—finally—given her due as a full playable part of the core cast (I guess they added her to the classic games in a rerelease of Origins too). You can choose any of the four in story mode; Tails is recommended for beginners but his flight is a little stilted and requires mashing. Knuckles has the powerful climbing and gliding abilities but they also feel slow, with sluggish animations between states. Sonic has the drop dash and that's it, while Amy was far and away my favourite to play as with a snappy double jump that gives you some quick height without losing momentum, with the added benefit of her hammer bypassing some enemy protections. She's great, especially in this classic design... also there's no dialogue so there's no opportunity for them to ruin her character with poor writing choices.

The plot, such as it is, involves Robotnik searching a new archipelago for ancient power, bringing along Fang from off of Triple Trouble, Drift 2, and The Fighters in a long-awaited return. These nefarious nasties have drafted the clumsy armour-clad Trip, a local who turns out to be an adorable and good-hearted lizard who becomes playable in her own mode after you clear the main story. This functions as a hard mode with remixed versions of the same levels, while you make use of Trip's abilities: an Amy-like double jump, and a more powerful form of Knuckles' climbing.

Another feature with a lot of promise is Chaos Emerald powers; this time around, after nabbing one from a special stage (a 3D grapple-chase affair) they bestow activated abilities specific to each gem. Some are cool and widely useful for letting you gain height or cross gaps, like becoming an air-dashing fireball or growing a vine to climb. Others are narrowly context sensitive, like revealing hidden platforms or letting you swim in water. There is at least a prompt for when one is particularly suited to a situation; otherwise they're a bit fiddly to activate. On the whole I don't feel like these abilities live up to their potential, but I applaud the effort at introducing new mechanics, and making the Emeralds useful beyond unlocking a true ending.

You do get a super form of a sort when you have them all, but only Sonic goes truly Super. The others just glow a bit, a copout on the level of the spheres for Tails and Knuckles in Heroes. Trip on the other hand gets the coolest effect of all, turning into an invincible dragon who can fly freely! This really helps on some of her more difficult levels. When both stories are cleared, we get a Last Story much like Adventure or Rush, where Super Sonic alone has to fight a big dumb-looking dragon. It's fine.

Now that I've set up what the game is, time to tear into it a little. I found even on single player the screen feels scrunched in; you would think the benefit of this graphics engine would let them scale out a fast-paced game for better visibility but I guess not. Sometimes you jump into the background and it briefly feels much better, but these segments don't last long. The problem is even worse in co-op; I played a short local 2P session and we were both constantly leaving each other behind, and when a character goes off-screen they have to respawn next to the leader. At least this goes for deaths too, with your punishment only a short delay before you can pop back in. Also, no life system! Thank you Arzest!

In addition to special stages accessed through hidden giant rings, you get Sonic 1-style bonus rounds when you pass a checkpoint with 50 rings. They're ok I guess, but optional. Then there's similar-looking warp portals that appear sometimes for some reason, which take you through a brief autoscroller and plop you out somewhere else in the level. I wasn't sure why these existed frankly. On top of this, in stages you can sometimes get fruits that you can exchange for access to another minigame in the hub screen, an autoscrolling collect-em-up. All these sub-games and such can feel like they break the flow, unless you ignore them. Only you can't ignore the Emerald stages, in fact you have to remember which zones you already got an Emerald from if you're going for them all.

The reward for most minigames (and hidden in stages) is medals, which you can use in the shop to buy parts to customise a robot avatar. I was intrigued to see a Sonic game revisit Forces' dress-up system, but the medal costs are steep and the part selection limited, with unlocks trickling out slowly. At least Amy now has a metal counterpart like the boys, and one boss memorably takes on the form of your custom bot. But you can't play as them in story mode, only in the battle mode. Unlike the base game, this has online support and up to eight players, and you duke it out in randomly-selected competitive rounds. Against AI players it's a bit brain dead but may be fun with other people. Who knows? It wasn't super appealing to me, which made the whole medal and shop mechanic (and some of the DLC) feel a bit superfluous to my experience. [The DLC otherwise is just skins for story mode, and I didn't use them...]

While I liked the look of the game, especially the backgrounds which have a lot of depth, you do occasionally see some seams. Level geometry joined inelegantly together, curved boss arenas that don't display important active elements in their backgrounds, the occasional broken graphical effect. You can play the campaign going directly from one level to another, but the loading transition is very stuttery. Once the level music failed to start after a powerup theme ended, so I was playing in silence. The game leaves a sloppy impression at these times. I also found the soundtrack to be unmemorable, with some tracks like the hub theme being way too short a loop.

I've left it as late as I possibly can to talk about this: the bosses. These are universally slow and painfully boring. You're often just waiting for them to begin their designated vulnerability period, landing a single hit, and then waiting through the next long, long attack pattern. Sometimes Amy or Trip with their double jump—or a well chosen Emerald power—can get an extra or early hit on them, but it's not enough. You can sometimes spend as long in a boss fight as you do playing a level, and there's a lot of them. Some zones only have one act, and several act 1s in two-act zones also have a boss! Other acts have chase sequences, such as Fang following you on his hoverbike, and these are even worse.

And then there's the final boss of each story, the biggest offender of all, where each near-successful attempt took me nearly ten minutes and it's easy to die to various instant-kill attacks and hazards. The big dumb dragon is also boring, with the added stress of managing a very limited ring count lest you restart the whole fight again. The bosses are a common criticism for this game and it's easy to see why: the best of them is merely fine, while the worst are crimes against game design. They drag the whole experience down substantially. It’s a real shame.

Honestly I’m playing it up a little, they’re easily the worst part and the final boss literally took me hours of frustrating attempts, but because I was bracing from being warned just how noxious they are, I found them to be slightly more tolerable than what I expected. But that’s not saying much. They suck.

Now of course Superstars intentionally evokes Classic style design and game control. I find this heavy feel and high-inertia gameplay not to my taste, and it's no different here. But I managed to have a good enough time despite this, and despite the screen crunch and minor technical flaws, etc.; double jump really helps. Well, a good enough time apart from the boss fights, obviously. Woof. I’ll remember Superstars for some of its levels, for Amy and Trip, for the Emerald powers. But it’s still an Arzest game, a clumsy mixed bag. Oh well, I’m sure they’ll keep getting more chances. And so will Sonic.

[detectivemaker]

Angsty mind control story, or Crowley snake's tattoo takes matters into its own,  non-existent hands

I really am surprised by the lack of  mind control stories in the good Omens  fandom, give me more specific Crowley doing some mind f****** on our favorite chunky angel, so I've decided to write this story

It's day 88 of operation make heaven nice again, and Aziraphale is bored out of his mind

The only real success he's had so far is implementing walls for privacy, but other than that Heavens the same old s*** bureaucracy it always has been, he knows it now it's never been nice, maybe during the time before the great fall,  but the only demon he's acquainted enough with to try  getting back into heaven is absolutely against it

He  let's out a sigh and face plants into his desk  tears prick at his eyes and soon he silently sobs into his paperwork," oh Crowley, I'm such a fool"  he whispers

*if you were here now, I'd go anywhere you take me* he thinks to himself  but before he can start on another set of whimpering cries he feels something wrap around the essence of his true form, the slight feel of scales upon Halo sends him sitting up with a gasp

"w- what" he  stutters out then it's out a grunt when the scales tighten in a loop, to get deep breath he Miracles into existence is Halo and a mirror

His eyes  widen in Surprise when he sees the  ink colored snake rapping gingerly around his Halo,  raising a hand he presses it into the surprisingly scaly flesh of the pitch black serpent

" Crowley?" questions, but no this isn't Crowley, but part of him yes, but not the real him

This sad realization only affects him for a moment before it's cleansed from his mind like water cleanses dirt,   panics at the sun realization that he's no longer feeling sad,   he grasps at his Halo but before he can try to wrench the snake from it a voice rings in his head like Unholy church bells

" don't struggle little angel,  my master misses you greatly,  I'm just here to bring you back home,  now be a good little lamb and let me lead you" the voice that sounds so much like Crowley's since his hands to his lap and a dizzy smile begins to etch itself on his lips

yes that's right, he's been such a foolish lamb,   he has Mosey far from home, but this lovely serpent knows the way back, so he rises to his feet and his leg like the good little sheep he is

,,,

Crowley had been drinking himself blind for exactly 88 days, but still he is capable to see and he sees he is without an angel,   the salty tears spilling into his cup of whiskey make it taste bitter

" emm, Mr Crowle"  Muriel says interrupting the demon's second hour of day drinking this morning, the demons shaded eyes bore into her celestial form but a quickly directed to the person next to her

"an-Aziraphale, what are you... What are you wearing?"  he says slipping down his sunglasses to get a better look at the ugly dressed angel

" don't you like it, I put it on for you" the angel says voice dreamy and eyes hazy,  the angel Santos over and the Bells on his neck jingles as his sheep like tail wags in excitement as he presses a kiss and his lingerie junk on to the demon 

" angel!" Crowley sputters out  he's just about to hesitantly kiss the angel back when a chuckling hiss catches his ear

He looks up to see his tattoo wrapped Vine like around Aziraphale's Halo  and he Sighs in annoyance

"Get off him and get back on here" he orders and snakes slithers from  it's holy perch back to its usual place on the side of his head, the angel blinks and his eyes come back into Focus

" I really am sorry for that, you"  he pauses pushing up his sunglasses to Shield the tears from the Angels vision before continuing," you can go if you want"

" well" a pause from the angel it's only then that Crowley realizes his hands are stained with liquid gold," I don't think heaven would invite me back in after what I did"

"did you?" Crowley asks a mixture of amusement and horror lining his tone he lets out a laugh when Aziraphale  nods sheepishly

" God you're wonderful angel" his   Chuckles pulling the blonde into a hug and sighing into the man's neck as he returns it

" it's good to have you back"

" it's good to be back"

The end

[missamyrisa2]

Hiya Miss Amy! I'm a huge fan of your teases, but how would you break a bratty spy you caught who is *definitely not* devastatingly ticklish on every single inch of his upper body, and *in no way* has a death spot on his bottom-most rib??

Such a silly escapade, trespassing in Amylicious's lair. Sillier still, that you failed to recognize the decoy relic on the table. Lifting it sets off an alarm, not the usual wailing sirens or klaxons, but a blaring shock of playful music. The ground trembles and an x-shaped frame slides upward. Flowers bloom from nothingness at the points of the frame, an enchanting little garden and a perfect distraction for the vines to sprout, first stripping away your clothing one article at a time, and then snatch up your wrists & ankles. You hang and struggle on the frame for what feels as an eternity until the door creaks open and a long shadow falls over your held form.

"Tsk tsk tsk. What do we have here?" I stroll in and chuckle. The harsh light gleams on the metal of my chunky bracelets and flower-shaped belt buckle. My belly twitches visibly in excitement from its place under my cropped black top and tiny shorts~ "Why, it's a cute boy, come to play~" My fingers glide up, wiggling in the air. "What's your name, sweet one?" Before you can answer my fingers are probing along your waistline in tiny strokes. "Uhh huh. Mmhmm. Yes, I almost believe that." I smirk and dance my nails around your belly in spidering circles.

"And you thought you'd make off with some of my treasure mmm?" One hand digs into your side with a squeeze as the other taps the flower to summon a fluffy makeup brush. "Ooh what a story, tell me more. How's that feel? Does it tickle? Are you just so very ticklish?" I flutter the brush up under your arms, twirling and fluffing up the little piles of hair while my fingers trace the shape of your chest. "Tickle tickle ~ tell me a good story now while I tickle your helpless body, about your name and why you're here, I love a good lie~

I tap a petal on my flower and produce a pair of q-tips. Your sass at such basic tools makes me smirk brightly, putting a hand on my hip as I start probing around your tummy. "Keep running those pretty lips ~ before you know it you'll be begging me to stop while whimpering for more~" I poke around with the soft tips, tracing your belly from your navel outwards carefully observing every reaction. I toss my long locks of blonde hair back and move in closer, my breath scattering on your twitching midsection. "Mmmmhmm. Yeah. Oh yes, give me all that sass. You're almost free by the way, just pull a little more~"

I can't help but squeak a giggle when I graze my probing tools up to your ribs and find that spot you've been trying to hide. "Ahh yes, there we go. Every one has that one spot huh? Yeah, that's your spot, right on this ribbie? Yeahh? Oooh look at that face ~ you should see yourself, not so tough now huh? Just poking here? Tickled by a q-tip!" I grin and move in, first stroking my tool along the length of your hyper ticklish rib back and forth. "Tickle, tickle. Now we'll get some answers out of you sass boy~"

My lips graze along your tickle rib, brushing and leaving tingly purpley streaks. I muah muah muah all over it, making tiny nibbles and kisses and raspberries while my fingers trace at the edges tauntingly. "Tickle tickle tickle tickleeeee~! You can't resist the tickles! You can't not laugh!" I taunt and chuckle, wiggling my nails along your ribbie and occasionally skittering along your bouncing giggly belly. "Awww tickle boy, does it tickle so much? Yeah? Well stop being ticklish then~! Stop being so cute!" I relentlessly attack your midsection, steading with one hand so I can nibble and raspberry around while keeping a thumb rubbing at your side nonstop~

Once I have you sufficiently worn down, it's more taps and I smile wickedly as I take a shiny whartenberg wheel over your pinkened belly. "Let's here it now, spill it all out tickle boy~" I interrogate and wheel the spikes ever so lightly in long strides, starting at one side going over around your navel, then up to that death rib~ "don't lie again ~ I'll pump you of every answer, I promise, and you'll be calling me mommy when we're done." I watch your reactions carefully, taking in your gasps and giggles and sounds ~

"Ahhh. Ooh, such a naughty thing. That sounded almost believable~" Tap tap tap on the flower and now I'm holding a purple magic wand. "Guess we're gonna do the deep pumping. Ooh yes, gonna milk every giggle from you until all we have left is the truth~" I snicker and gather up your princely part, holding it steady and putting the wand under the head. "Let's start on low, shall we?" I turn up the buzzing and hold you there, letting the tickle vibrations seep in. "Everyone tries to fight it." I gradually raise the vibration speeds and delight in your growing reactions. "But no one ever wins against the wand~"

Once I have good and worked up, I reach over and start tickling your rib with rapid strokes. The wand stays steady under your royal part, moving slowly up and down to edge you along. "Mmmhmm. Oh no, we're not talking yet, sass butt. You don't get that chance again until you're melted and gibbering. We'll try again when you're good and helplessly overloaded~until then, tickle tickle tickle tickle!" I hold the wand steady, my fingers never leaving your death spot, and my form grazes on yours occasionally just to tease a little further with material sensations.

Whether you give up your secrets or not, there's no doubt you will be tickled to absolute babbling ticklegasmed exhaustion once you've entered my domain ~<3

[im-captain-basch]

What would be your voice fancasts for your version of Donkey Kong/Donkey Kong Country franchise?

Fun fact: the reason I never answered your DM to me with this question is mostly because I was trying to figure out who would be best for who, but also because I was trying to decide if I should make this a public thing or not, so thanks for helping make that choice. XD

I know this says fancasts for my version, but I went more of a "general voice headcanon" route for most of these. Some also have the actual fancasts, or at the very least the people I wouldn't be upset about having be the VAs even if the voice winds up different from what I hear in my head.

I could really only figure out the Kongs, so uh... Ye. Also, all the underlined names are linked to pages to see more of the stuff they've done!

DK: Mark Fischbach. Zero rhyme or reason, other than I spent a full year drawing practically nothing except DKC characters set to GMOD moments, mostly Markiplier's, so now it's all I hear. However, I would not be mad if Richard Yearwood reprises the role (or even Sterling Jarvis).

Diddy: Ben Schwartz. My Diddy is more teenager-adjacent than most people's probably is (around 14), and I'd be lying if I said my hyperfixation with DuckTales 2017 a couple years back didn't have anything to do with that.

Cranky: This one is surprisingly hard to pin down. Here recently I've been imagining him more with Keith David's voice, but in the past I've also imagined David Tennant, Bernard Cribbins, and Aron Tager (his VA in the cartoon), the latter two of whom have both sadly passed in the last couple of years. I'll also happily take Bill Farmer, tho. For me it all depends on the tone and other factors of the situation presented (eg, an AU, the actual game series, others' interpretations, etc).

Funky: Gotta still be Damon D'Olivera, his VA from the cartoon, but I wouldn't be against Phil LaMarr or Greg Eagles voicing him either.

Candy: I do not hate Joy Tanner's voice for her in the cartoon at all. In fact, like Funky, it's mostly all I can hear for her. If I had to choose someone else to fill the role, it'd probably be Jennifer Hale.

Dixie: I think I had the most trouble with her surprisingly. I didn't necessarily like or hate her voice in the cartoon, but I have to go with Mae Whitman on this one. I was thinking along the lines of how Amity from The Owl House sounds, if you wanna know the thought process.

Wrinkly: Wendie Malick is the only voice I've really actively pictured for my specific version of her. The second I heard the line "Wait---those are MY dumb kids!" in The Owl House, my brain has never let the idea drop. However, if there ever actually is a show version of the DKC series that included her, I would not be against Tress MacNeille being her VA.

Swanky: Will Arnett is just how I hear him by default (I blame DK Vine in part). IDK, similar reasons to Diddy in that it has to do with other fixations of mine colliding into my brain. However, here recently my brain has also been tickled by the idea of James Monroe Iglehart being his voice in a version of the show that actually uses him.

Kiddy: OK, so y'all know how my brain runs. Sadly, sometimes I forget about him. However, I feel like Dee Bradley Baker is a safe bet.

Lanky: Rob Paulsen. IDK, even his normal voice just works.

Tiny: Kristen Schaal, solely because sometimes there's moments of her that cross my mind that make me go "Oh that's Louise Belcher (or Mabel Pines) vibes."

Chunky: Of all the actors, voice or otherwise, I've dug through today to find voices for characters I otherwise couldn't picture... I'ma have to give Chunk the monk Richard Horvitz. It also helps that this is literally one of those VAs I grew up hearing, so I can imagine the role working well, although other VAs mentioned throughout this list could potentially also work well.

Originally the Kongs from the actual DKC series proper is all I was gonna do for now, because it's late and brain hurty, but y'all know me a little better than that. I've got at least two bonus people for y'all.

K. Rool: Similar to a couple of characters above, I'd love it if Benedict Campbell could reprise the role, as he's literally the only voice I've been able to hear for him for years. However, that being said, there are a few others I will accept in his place, being Mark Hamill; Keith David (mentioned above); Clancy Brown; and Alex Hirsch.

DK Jr.: You said it was a fancast for my version, so while I know some people think Junior and our DK are the same person, in this instance I don't. I've racked my brain for a while trying to figure out who I best hear as his voice, and I had songs from a certain Disney animated show playing on loop last night and anyway, long story short, Jeremy Jordan is the headcanon voice for my version of him.

[dawntheduckrb]

I know I said I wasn't posting art but I'm like dying to share something I've done in my traditional art classes, since I've been mainly only drawing unshareable work

I don't really want this in my portfolio since it's copied either, so this ended up being perfect to share on my alt. Fun treat for myself for chilling out on personal work for a whole month now :D

I had to do a master copy study for my figure drawing class (no tracing allowed), and while I might have a few small adjustments to do, I'm gonna consider this one done :D

This isn't exactly right; my strokes are a little more smoothed out and slightly less sketchy. I'm thinking the original was wayyyyy smaller than the paper size I had to work on, because my lines just couldn't match the width of the original. In order to fill out the same amount of space, I had to use a blending stump (except for the shadow; to match the line width, I was able to use an oddly chunky piece of vine charcoal I found on the floor in the art building lol). Regardless, I think I hit the big parts, so I'm happy with turning this in ^-^

[gothicdicordia]

After reading the first chapter of her book, I decided I must visit this self-proclaimed druid priestess, this bandrui. Upon calling the publisher I discovered they were a recluse after years of living a very public life in some other mysterious capacity.

Of course, the bandrui would meet with someone interested in their book, alone, at home, on a warm October Sunday not far from Hallows Eve.

I was expecting something in the line of Castenada's journey to meet his shaman and indeed, the paved road stopped, the shaded black oak stands faded to Tall grass Prairie ride with fading wildflowers, and sky shimmered an iridescent gray under a vast, high blanket of clouds.

Then the gravelled road twisted down a rolling hill, then deep into a wooded ravine. A cluster of mailboxes marked a crossroads and my downloaded map instructed me to turn onto a road, rutted deep, with long grass barely touched by travels dragging under the chassis of my rented jeep.

Then a simple, powder coated black cattle gate left slightly ajar and messy bundle of sunflowers tied there to mark this where I'd pass.

The next mile was marked by tall, white windmills generating electrical power across a plain of very trim pasture. Then a trio of residential Satellite Dishes, a pumphouse with a large water tank, and a modern cell tower on a hill above. Then power lines leading to a 1970s standard Oklahoma Oilfield Workers redbrick home rectangle.

Attached to it was a large screen porch - modern - enamel white grating - glass panels - Southern gingerbread trim - thickly populated by house plants.

A Lady Banks Rose vine grew verdantly over the porch and he could make our an additional extension on the other side, a larger screened in garden, and another small garage-like home serving as the far boundary of the fence.

The porch lamp was lit as it was quite dark for a fall morning. A figure in a hooded, fleece robe, tall and robust motioned from the open screen door.

"Come in, Come in. You must be exhausted and hopefully hungry?"

"I'm here to interview Ms. Rose. May I come in?"

The tall, broad-shouldered figure lifted their head deep in the hood and sighed as if it pained them to be at full height of 6ft or so.

"Yes, of course. Come in. Sit. I made Cider, since it is Autumn of course. And of course Mead if so required later."

I heard a chirpy whisper from what was the open kitchen. "This one does not know!" Then the latter of pittle feet tapping away from us.

The large one came, set down a tea tray decorated with a loop of hops vine of latte sized cups full of warmed cider and a selection of German cookies in a basket lined with worn, but clean tea towels.

My eyes adjusted to the limited lamp light. A dining table altar was to my left heaped with seed pods of many plants, small squash, quaking grasses, and a Celtic cross of iron over a Indian Lotus. An unusually chunky incense stick burned and the scent of liturgical Palo Santo and Rosas filled the air.

The large personage lowered themselves into a large, leather easy chair.

"I hope you have now concluded I am Ms. Rose and I have always been a female of unusual strength and size. It was not until after the pandemic that I was finally allowed to transcend and be judged on my intellectual capabilities alone."

To be continued..

[elamimax]

Update Time! New Book!!

You know, instead of spamming the people that follow me with updates about stories every day (in between my posts about agent 47), I've decided to just start doing a big chunky update from time to time :) Consider this my new intro!

First off: New Book!

I recently finished publishing Through Verdant Mirrors, which was previously only published as an epub, but is now also available in print!

It is the story of a young (trans) woman who wakes a sleeping, beautiful prince from a tower, covered in vines... and that just, like, the first three chapters!

What follows is an adventure that takes our heroes all across the nation, a confrontation with an ancient evil from a recent past, and some old-fashioned fantasy romance. For fans of classical fantasy as well as more modern works like Shadow and Bone! I'm quite proud and fond of it and the characters in it. We don't have enough straight trans girl rep (and the sequel has some gay trans girl in it too, dw), and TVM is the start of a trilogy that sees our heroine over a period of 10 years go from a young and scared individual to a true powerhouse.

Go check it out!

Up Next

I actually recently finished On Verdant Wings, the sequel! It's currently available for my Patrons but I have also started uploading it to scribblehub, where you can now read the first seven chapters for free! :D

On Verdant wings takes our story five years after the events of Through Verdant Mirrors, where, without getting into spoilers, things take a turn for the Stranger. New countries, new faces and old friends, and a minimum of one (1) dragon. Also this one's a lot gayer, has several transfem and transmasc characters, and sets things up for book 3, which I'll begin writing on first of next month :3

Thirbly: ACAB SPIDER-MAN

A few years ago I wrote a book called Penumbra, which answers the question "what if Eddie Brock was transgender and Venom was nonbinary," a question everyone has been aching to see answered. What followed was an exploration of depression and self-worth even I hadn't really intended that way, featuring several queer and trans characters.

ANYWAY THERE'S A SEQUEL NOW. New protagonist, same world. After the burning question answered by the first one, I ask a new question with the sequel: What if Spider-Man said ACAB?

Penumbra: Redshift is a story about radicalization and deradicalization, about the responsibilities and requirements of having strength to put someone through a wall, and how fucking cool it could be if you could turn into a girl and/or fly. Featuring an extremely bisexual and more than a little trans protagonist, it's a really fun story I'm growing increasingly proud of!

If my readership is anything to go by, it's actually also pretty good plural rep? Which I hadn't intended? I need to talk to my therapist I think. ANYWAY go check it out now! There are seven chapters for free to read on scribblehub and if you can't get enough, twenty-nine chapters over on patreon. (Also you can currently read the first Penumbra for free here for that sweet sweet sad wet loser energy)

You thought I was done??

I've also been working on some new things (not just sequels). Two stories (which don't have professional covers yet, I still need to paint them), called Clear Blue and Far Horizon.

Clear Blue is the narrative equivalent of a friend sitting you down on the couch, handing you a cup of hot chocolate, and spending the next hour telling you how important you are until you cry.

More specifically, it's about someone with terminal anxiety and fear over the way the world currently works who learns to accept that sometimes good things are allowed too by either falling into a painting or having the world's most vivid hallucination. It has food, dancing, the occasional panic attack, and learning to fall in love again. It's also, for obvious reasons, trans. It's short and sweet! Currently Patreon only, but it's going to come to scribblehub (and presumably print) at some point.

It's also getting a spiritual sequel, Far Horizon, which I have started the first few chapters on (also on Patreon) which is going to be a long-form new-adventure-every-chapter story that is all about learning to embrace your life, past, present and future, but all through living vicariously in the moment. Vibes heavily based on @pepurika's Tiger Tiger comic, with, of course, my own twist on things.

Okay now I'm d- SYKE

Another novel! Flipping Out! It's a modern fantasy story about six queer kids who find a magical coin that lets them change their appearance at a whim - but there's some rules attached. Taking place over a period of 15 years, we follow them as they grow closer together, have a falling out, and finally meet back up at a wedding.

This sounds like a coming of age drama.

It's a tense, bisexual, transgender, action thriller crime romcom where these six idiots plan increasingly elaborate heists. Imagine the Ocean's soundtrack playing throughout most of it and you'll get a feel for the vibes. It also has this bit of dialogue.

“Well,” Bee said, “you always did struggle to figure out who the fuck you were.” “You’re one to talk, Miss ‘I’m just a gay guy.’ You took a whole-ass battering ram to your sexuality and you’re giving me shit,” Lisa said with a chuckle. Hers hadn’t changed. Once she’d accepted that anyone could give her the tingly feelings, that had been kind of easy. Being bisexual was a wonderfully universal experience. “Hey, I could still be a faggot.” “What, like a girl-faggot?” “Sure,” Beatrice said, raising her beer. “Girl who is a faggot. That’s me.” “Woah.”

You know, to give you an idea. It is currently being uploaded to scribblehub where you can read the first 5 chapters, but there's sixteen already on patreon, with another estimated 30-45 (ish) to follow. I think it would be cool and sexy of you to give it a look.

Okay now I'm done

So yeah! Lots I've been working on! Check it out, I have a lot of works already finished as well (can be found on my amazon author page if you want a physical copy, smashwords if you don't (though amazon's stranglehold means it is always the most up to date) and on scribblehub if you don't mind clicking through every chapter).

Thank you for reading this far in. If you have, consider recommending some of my works to your friends, there's usually something in there they'll like. I'm pretty prolific, if I say so myself :)

[thebadchoicemachine]

Orch: people are based around a technology (or tech based job) and a flower/plant. Or just a plant, because I can't think of that many techs or tech themed jobs. For vibes, maybe Solarpunk lofi 80s? Like, yah, there's VHS tapes and skate boards and classic 80s cartoons, but there's also plants everywhere, instead of branded cereal box commercials and all that junk food, it's commercials for different farmers markets, claims of having the brightest and tastiest fruit, thick and overgrown woods with walking paths made by generations of people walking to the same areas to hang out.

Grape Vine + radio host

? + photographer - Orch mother adopts Alex

How much did Alex figure out about their powers before Karl showed up? What are their powers? Does their blood burn to the touch? Are they fire proof? What do the other Orch residents think?

Instead of a single mother figure, what if they're adopted by a group of people? Like a bunch of construction workers and engineers? Or a group of teenagers that hang out in the woods? Or something like that? I personally like the idea of the construction workers because since Orch is a blend of technology and plants, they'd double as florists.

Alex: hey, I'm hungry. When's lunch?

Worker: Ah, in a bit. Should be hitting a good stopping point in about an hour.

Alex: okay.

Alex, ten minutes later: I found a snack.

Worker, turning around: You didn't steal that from anyone's lunch did... you?

Alex, chewing on hot coals with glowing red eyes: No, I got it from the fire pit.

Just, picturing this construction company of guys of varying ages all adopting this weird... girl? Person? That came out of some really weird fog that overtook one of their construction sites and made terrifying noises. They would also be the ones to eventually realize that something is changing as Azure moves in slowly and starts messing with stuff.

What if their eyes are really vibrant under electrical lights but super dull under sunlight? Like Prowa but only for their eyes? And when she's using fire powers they always glow bright red?

Just Alex traveling across dimensions and regularly visiting her hord of uncles.

Also, what were they wearing when they first arrived? It would feel weird to have them not wearing any clothes. I think a weird mismatch of all three clothes and styles would be fun. I can't really research to get a good image but my idea is: dress slacks (Cue), a commoners cotton? Shirt (Saponite), a leather overcoat stained in a multitude of colors (Karl). Then the accessories! Maybe like, a single glove (Cue), one shoe is a sneaker (Karl) and the other is an armored boot (Saponite), chunky goggles with one red lense and one blue lens, maybe a hat with a feather, could be like a newsies cap or a baseball cap, or even a leather satchel (could have nothing in it, could have something in that).

Imagine seeing someone wearing that outfit walk out of this weird blue fog and start making eltrich noises at you. Then you and all your buddies adopt them. Crazy.

Also, have we decided on a hair color for Alex? Or a general appearance? I think we said they could swap between the different powers but like, do they have horns at first? Do they grow in? Do they have wings at first? Do the wings grow in? Are the horns or wings summoned? I thought we had a good grasp on Alex and now I'm realizing we really don't? Or at least we haven't talked about them in a long time.

Yah, sorry if this is a lot of things to throw at you at once but this was all written as a sort of stream of consciousness and trying to divide it up made it all confusing.

Long stuff here

1. How sold are you on the 80s aesthetic for Orch? I remember Orch’s Vibes is like on the verge of an Industrial Revolution, a bit more old timey and like a Western but in a forest if I remember correctly? Steampunk in the way it’s Victorian/old timey but full of advanced machinery. Small town feels.

Actually, we could easily keep both. I like that idea. Makes sense for Orch to be Rural anyhow. I really like the thicket you make.

2. If they become characters can we name the grape radio host Venny? Ideas for the photographer: a bonsai tree?

3. [1/2] Depends, how old do we think Alex is? I’d like for her to be on the younger side, maybe 6-8 ish? I think it’s more weird things happen around her at first.

Things to consider:

• Her Karl adjacent powers would probably relate a lot more to the Azure Lens than the Between. 

• She probably has her others powers depending on what form she’s in.

• What are the residents of Orch like biologically? Her forms would depend on this. I don’t think she should stand out too much. (Maybe she can shift—at will or on accident—but keeps to the woods when she does and becomes or feeds into a local cryptid/ghost-like story.)

3. [2/2] I think everyone definitely knows she’s weird. Just like that odd little girl who comes around my store or hangs out near my garage or is in the library.

The people who are close to her understand she’s magical in some way (especially since Orch is a more solid dimension) but have no idea what to do about it and since they’ve come to love her they just to that and treat her like the sweet little kid she is—weird cryptic stuff aside.

Actually, the 80s era aesthetic gives me an idea. Are you aware of the kids on bikes troupe? It’s A sort of ET/Stranger things/Goonies/most 80s neighborhood sci fi troupe where a bunch of kids/teens go out and discover [adventure].

4. LOVE the idea of a demi beyond-god being raised by a confused but well-meaning village (most of whom think she’s just a bit strange, explainable from the fact she appears to be a homeless orphan just wandering around on her own. The construction workers taking care of her when they can (unable to actually do anything at first since they don’t actually KNOW anything about her and taking her against her will would be kidnapping. eventually group adopting her.

5. AHHHH EVEN BETTER. Troupe of raising the antichrist into a good person just by being good people ks my favorite!!!! She’s not an antichrist figure obviously but she is an extremely powerful and easily destructive demi beyondgod. Just doing Weird slightly evil looking things.

6. She’s probably really smart when it comes to contraptions. She’ll catch on fast and point out ideas in the construction/engineer’s people’s work as she hangs out with them. In that way kids are just randomly brilliantly.

7. YEAH LIKE FROM PROWA AND KARL COMBINED! Glowing from Saph, pale colors from Cue, and vibrance/shiny from Karl, and the blue colors/electric flavor of her powers from the Azure.

8. I love this hodgepodge child!! And I forgot about her languages being strange at first.

9. I don’t think we’ve come up with anything specific. I’ve been imagining her as having semi-curly black hair that glows bright turquoise in certain light? Cue and Saphonite both have black hair (oo maybe Saph has ember like patterns down it?)

Maybe she has strands of hair that will kind of change color subtly like Karl’s.

[theretirementstory]

Bonjour à tous, it is 16c out there and feeling fresh but for me that is much better than the heat that we have had. One good thing about the “chaleur” is that it can produce some stunning “orages” (thunderstorms), like the one Thursday into Friday it seemed to go on for such a long time, with the sky lighting up wonderfully and the thunderclaps not too frightening.

It seems to have been a long week, I was up early to go to hospital on Monday. The taxi picked me up at 7am 😳 and we had to pick up another person so our journey took us on a road I had never been on. We went through villages and lovely countryside before arriving in the village which has the local attraction “Nigloland” a theme park which some say is better than Disneyland. It’s smaller, has less crowds and still plenty to entertain all ages.

I had two transfusions, the first was fine but the second made me really cold and I began trembling uncontrollably, guess the nurses have seen it all as they were not concerned by it. Then it was sleep time as I was to wake up at 4am (yes really) get dressed, have breakfast and be in a taxi by 5am! I was being taken to Paris to have the next stage of my treatment, unfortunately due to lack of “chunky” veins in my arms I was sent back to the hospital in Troyes to have a catheter fitted in my groin and the following day was a repeat of the previous one except with the catheter they were able to extract my cells for freezing. I will add that the journey time to Paris is about 2.5 hours one way! The second day I was in an ambulance, on a stretcher, facing the wrong direction which really did mess with my head! However it’s over and done with now, just have to prepare myself for 4 weeks in hospital from 30 August 😳.

I always think of Shildon in Co. Durham as my “hometown”, known as “the cradle of the railways”, I am interested in the history of this mode of transport, architecture is another interest so as you can imagine seeing the stunning railway stations in Paris, of which the above photo of the Gare de Lyon, is one. On the return journey on Wednesday, safely ensconced on my stretcher, I saw two huge columns with figures on top. Unable to take a photo 😡 I was keen to find out what they were. They were the Throne Tollgate on the Place de I’lle de la Réunion. As we drove further away from the columns, I looked up and in the far distance, between the columns was the Eiffel Tower, how I wished I could have “snapped” that picture!

Monique celebrated her birthday on Friday but unlike last year I was unable to visit her. However, she is coming to see me on Tuesday to help me get ready for my month “away”. I have been washing, cleaning, cooking, relaxing and reading. Trying my best to keep everyone “up to date” on what is happening. I had planned to cut the grass when I got home from hospital but I hadn’t factored in the catheter and the oncologist said definitely no mowing. Monique had said she would do it but I asked my neighbour who is only too happy to help me out.

Anie, messaged yesterday, asking if I would like some vine peaches, having had some from her before I was pleased to accept, she arrived with a little posy of flowers from her garden, two small courgettes and the vine peaches. She is coming back this afternoon to have tea and cake.

So now to the favourite part of this blog for “The Daddy”, it’s my music choices, the first one this week was a Eurovision winner for Luxembourg in 1972. The title was “Apres toi” sung by Vicky Leandros. If I remember rightly after she was announced the winner she sang the song in English (don’t quote me on that) it was released as “Come What May”.

The second song is from way back in 1967, gosh can I remember that far back, yes I can and I have loved this song since I first heard it, it’s “The Letter” by The Box Tops.

It’s a Bank Holiday on Monday in the UK and my gorgeous grandchildren are spending the weekend with “The Daddy”.

“The Trainee Solicitor” has been visiting relatives, reading, relaxing as well as working at home. I hear he has two terracotta planters exactly the same as two I have here. They will look good in the garden, maybe they have the hydrangeas in already 🤔.

Now I really must pack my case, and prepare the house for my absence.

Jusqu’à la semaine prochaine.

[bunnyboy-juice]

freckles, shampoo, and cuddles for the soft ask meme! i hope your day is nice 🌷

freckles - most-worn article of clothing?

ohh hm.. i think my most worn shirt is my super oversized one, my most worn pants are my black linen ones, and my most worn shoes are my black chunky sneakers (:

shampoo - favorite scent?

i like a lot of like ... earthy smells. i dont know if i have a favorite - maybe the smell of tomato vines

cuddles - do you have any pets?

yes i doo! these are my two babies < 3 the grey tabby is Charming and he's 12 years old now and the calico is Lady and she's 10 years old and i love them both so much c:

[djarins-cyare]

Heh, I love that thousands of people have shared this info; it truly does offer an insight into people! So thank you for the tag @burntheedges 💖

I hope you know I’m now gonna write huge paragraphs… you’ve unleashed a demon 😈 Better use that teensy font…

EGGS: So you know those single-serve yoghurt drinks, Actimel or whatever your local brand is? Ever tried using one of those in your scrambled eggs instead of milk? It’s pretty damn awesome. I use the plain one (unless you fancy fruit-flavoured eggs, but, respectfully: ew), which adds a subtle vanilla hint, plus some finely chopped tomato and spinach. It’s the best. I also love poached eggs on toast, and boiled eggs with strips of soft buttered bread to dip in (which my mother to this day still calls eggy-dip-dip 🤦🏼‍♀️… thanks for breakfast mum, but I’m a grown-up now!)

STEAK: Cut-wise, fillet is my favourite, or sirloin as a backup. How I like it cooked depends on which country I’m ordering in. In the UK, for some reason, people are a little squeamish about having it too bloody, so if you ask for rare it’s pink throughout but still more cooked than on the continent where it’s basically still mooing. So I’ll have rare in the UK and medium-rare in Europe. I’m sadly not well travelled enough to know how to order elsewhere. Serve with chunky chips, vine-ripened tomatoes (and/or peas… I fucking love peas), and either a garlic butter reduction or pesto alla Genovese.

MILK: Semi-skimmed, because full fat is too indulgent and skimmed is too watery (hi, I’m Goldilocks, nice to meet you). Your basic cow-sourced variety. Here in the UK, we pasteurise, homogenise, standardise, and often microfilter our milk, and few people are lactose intolerant here - go figure. We’re also known for having milk that tastes far better than any other country (a weird boast but I have to concur), so I invite all my international moots over for UK milk and cookies so you can taste the difference.

ALCOHOL: I’ve gone through many phases, but I always come back to something vodka-based. Decent quality only. Add some cranberry juice, and I’m happy. Or add ginger beer and a twist of lime (a Moscow mule). Or add triple sec (Cointreau), cranberry and lime (the queen of cocktails, a Cosmopolitan). Vodka is so versatile.

WARM DRINK: If you’d asked me last year I’d have been true to my British heritage and said a decent cup of tea; nothing fancy, just your standard PG Tips cuppa with milk and sugar. In September I had dental surgery and couldn’t have hot drinks, so I inadvertently gave up caffeine and my God it’s improved my sleep pattern, so I stuck with it. I gave up sugar (and nicotine) at the same time, so generally, all I drink now is water. Sadly, that also means no more milk and cookies as described above, or jam and clotted cream scones as depicted with the tea below. At least my skin is happy, even if my tastebuds are not.

The only one of these pics that's my own is the first one 😅

No pressure tags (you don't need to ramble or add pics like I did, in fact, I encourage you to spend your time more wisely!): @papurgaatika @lahooozaherr @draculasfavoritewife @thepetitemandalorian @quinnnfabrgay