#Notice how Yuri ignored his confession 4 times now

[ask-me-yuri]

BRO PLEASE BE GAY FOR @aki-babes OR HE MAY DIE

𝑀𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐴𝑘𝑖𝑦𝑎 ℎ𝑜𝑙𝑑 𝑛𝑜 𝑟𝑜𝑚𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑐 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑒𝑎𝑐ℎ 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟.

𝐼𝑡 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒.

[xofanfics]

31 Days - Part 6

Table of Contents: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Epilogue

Pairing: Kim Taehyung x Reader

Genre: angst, fluff

Word Count: 2k

Summary: You come to Korea to visit your family after you graduate from college. Soon, you find yourself falling for a guy you meet online. There’s only one problem—you’re only in the country for thirty-one days.

You started getting angry all over again as your phone rang a few hours later. Looking at the caller ID, you saw that it was him. You didn’t want to talk to him. He was just like every other guy that had walked out of your life, a liar. You ignored the call, deciding you weren’t going to answer right now. You went back to watching your YouTube video after pressing decline. The video played for a few seconds before Tae started calling again. He called again and again. You pressed ignore all three times but he was persistent, desperate to talk to you.

You weren’t going to talk to him. That was it. He was convinced that he’d managed to ruin everything. You were leaving soon and he didn’t want you to leave the country on bad terms with him. Was it too late? He wanted, no, needed to talk to you. He wanted to do it face to face. He just wanted to talk to you, to hear your voice, even if you were angry with him. But he knew that it might not happen. Not today. Perhaps, not ever. Were you that angry?

You sighed and accepted the call, putting the phone up to your ear. When you said nothing, he said, “Y/N, please talk to me…”

“What do you want? I have nothing to say to you.”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for lying about today. I’m sorry I kept my life a secret from you. I didn’t want to lie, I just…” You heard him sigh on the other end. “Can we meet? I’ll come to you, wherever you are.”

“I’m busy,” you said, though it was a lie. To be honest, you were just sitting on the couch waiting for your cousins to come back from the convenience store.

“Can we meet tonight? Or tomorrow?”

You sighed. “I can meet you tomorrow.”

“Okay.”

“See you then,” you said, hanging up.

Just as you hung up, your cousins came back through the door, snacks in hand. Noticing your displeased expression, Yubin said, “What’s with you?”

“I just got off the phone with Tae.”

Yuri said, “Ooh, what did he say?”

“He wants to meet…so I told him we could tomorrow,” you said. “I don’t know how I feel about it.”

“Well,” said Yubin, “you have to understand…He’s an idol. They can’t just live like you and me. Yeah, he’s friends with you but maybe he probably felt more comfortable if you didn’t know.”

Maybe…

Tae knew how angry you were. Your cold glare flashed through his mind a million times after the fanmeet. It was all he could think about. When he and the boys split up, they kept asking questions. They could tell he was upset about something but he didn’t really want to talk about it. Jungkook didn’t ask him about the note again and he didn’t tell the other guys about it, which he appreciated.

You had a right to be upset. He didn’t blame you. He just needed a chance to talk to you, to explain things from his point of view. He just wanted to be normal. Since you didn’t recognize him right away, he figured that maybe, just maybe, he’d be able to have a friend without putting up his BTS title first. And he discovered that you were an amazing girl and friend.

He wanted to be with you. He wanted you to be his girlfriend. He wanted you to stay in Korea. It was selfish of him, of course, but he wanted to see you as much as he could. Of course you wouldn’t stay in Korea for a guy you met less than a month ago. You had a life back in the States, back in New York. Your whole life was waiting for you. Your friends, your family, a job. You told him about it all. And you sounded so excited. But all those times you talked about going home, he’d get sad at the thought of you leaving. Of the thought of not being able to see you often. Of the thought of not being able to hold you and kiss you and watch the sun rise.

He needed to make the most out of these next couple of days with you. He had a week left. And he needed to reconcile with you before that week was up. He wanted you to leave Korea with only happy memories of him, leaving out all the bad.

He rolled over, pulling the blanket over him. He picked up his phone and decided to call Jungkook. He couldn’t hold this in anymore.

“Hello?” Jungkook answered.

“Hey…”

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah. Are you busy?”

“Nah. Me and Jimin just got back to Busan.”

“Can I talk to you about something?”

“Yeah. What’s up?”

“Remember that fan from earlier?”

“Yeah. She said something to you?”

“Well, yeah. But it’s not that,” he said. “I know her.”

“Where do you know her from? Did you go to high school with her or something?”

“No. We met on this app…”

“Did she know you?”

“No. She didn’t know who I was. She’s American.”

“So what happened with her?”

“She found out who I was and now she’s pissed that I didn’t tell her…and I don’t know how mad she is. She leaves in a week and I really, really like her—”

“Wait, what?”

“What?”

“You like her?”

“Yeah, why?”

“She’s leaving, Tae…”

“I know…I know it’s crazy. I know it’s stupid to like someone who’s going to be back in New York in a week and probably won’t even be thinking about me by March.”

“Look, I’m not saying you can’t like her but you should be realistic, too…”

And that’s when Tae realized that his friend was right. He should be realistic. But how could he just push his feelings aside when they were already so strong?

You found yourself in the park the following afternoon, waiting for Tae. You came a little early, just to clear your mind before meeting him. Most of you wanted to talk to him. You missed him. Though it seemed ridiculous, you were falling for him. You were pretty sure that the main root of your anger was that you liked him so much and you didn’t know what to do about it. A few days ago, he’d confessed that he couldn’t stop thinking about you. It wasn’t exactly a confession but perhaps he was falling for you, too? You wanted to be in his presence. You weren’t so upset anymore.

He arrived fifteen minutes later, face red from the cold. Had he run here or something? When approached you, he didn’t smile like he usually did. He probably thought you were still angry with him.

Before you could utter a greeting, he spoke up. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t know how to tell you…How do you tell a girl you just met that you’re an idol? I came to Daegu to get away for a while and lay low. It was a relief that you didn’t know who I was.”

He paused. “Do you have any idea what it’s like being an idol? It’s not all fun and games. We can’t date someone comfortably, we can’t go out without fans following us…We get death threats, we barely get any rest, and fans can be mean to us for no reason at all…like we aren’t people, too. I just wanted to feel normal for once. I haven’t felt like that in a long time…It was nice not having to be V when I’m with you. Yes, I lied to you about what I was doing yesterday and I was vague about my job and things like that but I never lied about anything else. I wasn’t lying about how I feel about you.”

He looked at you but you avoided his eyes. You were still processing the information. “You don’t have to forgive me if you don’t want to. I’ll be okay but I just need you to try to understand. Please understand, Y/N…”

“I understand…” You paused, biting your lip. “I just had so many people lie to me in the past. It’s hard to trust someone…”

He said, “I know it’s hard, but I would never hurt you on purpose. I really like you and I don’t want what we have to be over…”

“I don’t either,” you said, stepping closer to him. You wrapped your arms around his waist, resting your head on his chest. In return, he held your shoulders, pulling you close.

He whispered, “I’m sorry, Y/N…I won’t ever lie to you again. I promise.”

“I forgive you.”

He planted a kiss to your temple, squeezing you tightly. It was almost as if he was afraid to lose you. “I like you,” he said. “A lot…”

“Can we go somewhere?”

“Where do you want to go?”

“Can we go to your place?”

He nodded. “Yeah. Are you hungry? We can order food if you want…”

You pulled away from him with a subtle smile. “Yeah. I’d like that.”

Pizza came to Tae’s door faster than you expected. You were relieved. You’d hadn’t been very hungry until Tae mentioned food. Then you realized that you hadn’t eaten much of anything today.

Tae paid for the food and set the box on the table. He grabbed plates from the kitchen as well as some knives and forks. He sat down next to you, placing a plate and silverware in front of you. You opened up the box, revealing the cheesy pizza. He put a slice on your plate first.

“Thank you,” you said, with a smile. As V started cutting his slice of pizza, you asked, “You eat pizza with a knife and fork?”

He nodded. “You don’t?”

“In New York we eat pizza like this,” you said, picking up your slice and folding it in half before taking a bite.

Tae mimicked you, picking up and folding his pizza this time. Some of the oil dripped down his chin. You laughed, taking a napkin and wiping his chin. “Thanks, Y/N…”

“No problem,” you said, taking another bite.

“I mean, thank you for everything. For hearing me out.” He swallowed. “I was so scared. I thought you’d never speak to me again…”

You shook your head. “I was upset but just for a little while.”

“I’m glad.”

Tae shook you out of your sleep. Had you fallen asleep? You hadn’t noticed. You’d been lying down with Tae, his arms wrapped around you. You talked for a long time but, apparently, you’d fallen asleep on him.

With his arms still around you, he said, “What time do you need to leave?”

You sat up with a yawn. “What time is it?”

“It’s almost eleven. I’ll take you home.”

You shook your head. “I don’t want to go back.”

He sat up, too, looking into your eyes. “Won’t you get yelled at or something?”

“My grandma is out of town for the night. She went to visit her sister but I lied and said that I wasn’t feeling well…”

He smiled at you. “Stay with me tonight?”

You nodded and pressed your lips to his. He kissed you back. His kiss was a little more aggressive than usual, lightly biting on your bottom lip and sliding his tongue against yours. You got into his lap, straddling him with your legs on either side of him.

You were leaving in a week and you didn’t know when the last time was that you would get to see him. So you wanted to spend as much time with him as possible.

You kissed him, intertwining your tongue with his. His hand snaked around the nape of your neck as he kissed you deeply. Your hands made their way to his face, cupping his cheeks as you kissed him hard.

He pulled away first, out of breath. He looked you in your eyes again, as you searched in his. His lips formed a smile.

“You’re so beautiful,” he said, before flipping you over onto your back and closing the space between you with another kiss.

[kazliin]

not gonna lie, I would so read that mermaid au that you wrote the summary of

That was one of the ones I just couldn’t get out of my head so here’s some random extracts and concept writing.

Disclaimer - this is a fake au fic from the Rivals series. In universe it would be written by a Viktuuri fan and so is based on how that fans see umfb!viktor and Yuuri not as they actually are. It was also written as a joke on my phone in half an hour so please don’t take this as serious writing!

Original concept - no.12 of the ‘15 most popular fics in the Rivals universe alternate AO3’ - Original post here

Title : what would I pay, to stay here beside you

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: M/M

Fandom: Figure Skating RPF

Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Viktor Nikiforov

Characters: Katsuki Yuuri, Viktor Nikiforov, Phichit Chulanont, Christophe Giacometti, Yuri Plisetsky, Otabek Altin, Georgi Popovich, Mila Babicheva, Celestino Cialdini, Yakov Feltsman

Additional tags: Alternate Universe - The Little Mermaid Fusion (original), Mermaid!Viktor, Prince!Yuuri, Happy Ending

Summary: Viktor has always been fascinated by the human world and especially one human in particular, a man he once saved from drowning one stormy night after a shipwreck. A dashing prince with a beautiful laugh, kind and beloved by all who know him. After loving him from afar for years Viktor makes a deal with the sea-witch, in exchange for his silver hair he has one month to make the prince fall in love and marry him or he will lose his life and be turned to nothing but foam on the sea. Known by all as impulsive and rash, Viktor takes the deal without a second thought and begins a life on land with the intention of wooing the prince and finding his happily ever after.

The one problem? The Prince hates him on sight.

Working against the clock, Viktor has one month to uncover the mystery of the Prince’s past and discover why he is so hated by the other man. And not only that but he must also convince the prince to fall in love and marry him, least he be lost to the sea forever.

Random snippet part 1 - extract from chapter 1 of 8

The human was beautiful, with soft dark hair and wide brown eyes, although those had fallen shut many hours ago and hadn’t opened since. Viktor might have been concerned that the human had died somewhere between the shipwreck and the shore if not for the gentle rise and fall of the man’s chest that signaled there was still life in his body.

Viktor dragged the limp figure further up the sandy beach, gritting his teeth as the coarse sand dug into his scales but determined to move the human fully out of the water that had almost taken his life.

The sun beat down on his back and he could feel his tail beginning to dry even after just a few minutes out of the water. The sea might have almost killed the human he had just saved but the land would kill him almost as quickly if he remained out of the water for much longer.

Reluctantly Viktor turned away, running his fingers over the human’s sleeping face one last time before he crawled back to the water and plunged gratefully back beneath the waves, allowing the cool water to soothe his body as he swam back further out into it’s depths.

Unwilling to leave just yet he turned around as soon as he was far enough out to be out of sight from land, resurfacing behind a clump of rocks and raising his torso above the waves to get a better look at the human where he was still lying prone on the beach. Viktor had chosen a spot that he knew was popular with the other humans who lived around the area, the man he had saved would surely be found soon.

A shout from across the beach confirmed his theory as another human appeared on the horizon, spotting the figure lying unconscious on the sand and running over to help, frantically waving over another group of humans who had just appeared in the distance. Viktor ducked behind the rocks as they drew closer, staying out of sight but wanting to make sure the man he rescued had fallen into good hands.

After a few minutes the group of humans picked up the unconscious man and carried him away, taking care not to hurt him as they held his prone body. Satisfied, Viktor ducked back beneath the waves, knowing that the human was safe.

Something about the man had fascinated him and Viktor hoped that maybe one day he would see him again.

Random snippet 2 - extract from chapter 2 of 8

“You’re disgusting, you know that don’t you?” Yuri growled, angrily splashing Viktor with his tail where they were both floating lazily in the shallows a few hundred meters away from the beach, concealed from view. Viktor ignored him, continuing to gaze at the beach where his human, Yuuri, was laughing and running with his dog by his side.

It had been two years since he had first laid eyes on the human, a prince he had later discovered, and since then his fascination with the man had only grown, much to his young protégée’s disgust and indignation. He visited the beach regularly, loving to watch as Yuuri played with his dog or laughed with his friends or simply sat on the warm sand with his feet bare and enjoyed the feeling of the ocean as it lapped gently at his toes. Occasionally he went swimming and on those times Viktor came as close as he dared, weaving deep beneath the water under the human’s feet, just out of sight but closer than he had ever been before.

“If you keep going like this you’re going to get caught.” Yuri snapped at him, sounding angry. “And you know what happens to our kind when we get caught. The rules about staying hidden from the humans exist for a reason you know!”

Viktor sighed, trying to block out the sound of the younger merman’s voice. He knew the rules as well as any other but he had never been any good at following them. Ever since he had been young he had always been drawn to the world above the sea and now that Yuuri existed in his life the draw was only growing more powerful by the day.

“You might as well give it up now Viktor.” Yuri continued. “It’s never going to happen between you two anyway. You’re two different species for fucks sake. What are you going to do, become a human?

Now, there was an idea.

Random snippet 3 - extract from chapter 5 of 8

Viktor sat on the balcony with his legs dangling over the edge of the drop, the cool breeze of the evening dancing over the bare skin of his feet. Even after three weeks on land he still hadn’t quite gotten used to the feeling of the strange new limbs, so different from the elegant tail that had once been in their place.

But he wouldn’t give up his legs, not for anything in the world. His time on land might not have gone exactly as he had expected and his relationship with Yuuri might have gotten off to a very rocky start but they had finally achieved peace between them, a peace that was day by day steadily turning into something more. Viktor knew that his time was starting to run out but after what had happened between him and Yuuri the day before he was confident that everything would finally go to plan.

As he thought he hummed a tune, a simple melody from his childhood about the joys of the sea. After the first few notes he changed from humming to singing softly, the words carrying across the silence of the evening.

“You sing very beautifully.”

Viktor startled at the noise but smiled when he turned around and recognised Yuuri standing behind him, face illuminated in the last dying light of the sun.

“Everyone can, where I come from.” Viktor replied automatically, without thinking about the words. While it was true his singing was considered especially beautiful among the merfolk, everyone one of them had a voice more beautiful than any human. There was a reason there were tales of bewitching merpeople luring sailors to their deaths with their siren song, tales that were not entirely unfounded. Just another reason for the tension between the two races and another reason that Viktor could never tell Yuuri who he really was.

“Where you come from?” Yuuri smiled. “The mysterious place that you never seem to talk about?”

“It’s far away.” Viktor countered, hoping that Yuuri would drop the subject without pressing to far. “And very small. You wouldn’t have heard of it.”

“A mysterious far away land full of beautiful singers.” Yuuri replied, eyes looking wistful. Viktor knew how much Yuuri longed for adventure, a life outside his role as a prince for his country and all the responsibility that came with it. But his sense of duty was far too strong for him to ever run away for the adventure he so desperately craved. “I would love to visit someday.”

Viktor almost responded that he would love to take Yuuri, as impossible as that desire was, but he was stopped when a hand reached out to grasp a strand of his hair, rolling the silky strands between gentle fingers.

“Do all the people from your homeland have such strangely coloured hair as you too?” Yuuri asked as he gazed at Viktor.

“Not all of us.” Viktor replied. “But some.”

“I’ve never seen anything like it before.” Yuuri told him. “It’s what made me notice you the first time we met, at the marketplace. Like slivers of silver.”

“It used to be longer.” Viktor confessed, closing his eyes and enjoying the feeling of Yuuri’s fingers as he grew bolder, running more freely though his hair and tugging on it gently. “All the way down to my waist. ”

“What happened to it?” Yuuri asked and Viktor had a sudden flashback to the knife slicing through strands, the pain that rocked through his body as it felt like he was being split in half, torn into pieces as every part of his being remoulded itself into something new under the greedy eye of the sea witch, still clutching his hair in her hands.

Viktor blinked out of the memory and turned back to Yuuri, beautiful in the light of the setting sun and finally close enough to touch.

“I traded it for something better.”

Random snippet 4 - extract from chapter 6 of 8

With only four days left to go, Viktor knew it was time to act. He loved Yuuri with all his heart and he was sure that Yuuri must feel the same. But his deal with the sea witch hadn’t just hinged on love. He had to convince Yuuri to marry him before the sun set on the final day or he would be lost forever.

He was planning on asking Yuuri that night, after they had shared dinner together as they had done every night before. They had never done any more than hold hands, had never even kissed but Viktor was sure that it was just Yuuri’s princely chivalry holding him back. The way Yuuri looked at him was enough for him to be sure that the other man would agree. He might be banned from telling Yuuri why he needed the marriage to happen so rapidly he wasn’t concerned of a rejection.

The door beside him opened and Yuuri emerged, looking resigned. Viktor caught a quick glimpse of the kind and queen, stern faced and regal, before the door swung shut again behind him.

“You didn’t have to wait for me.” Yuuri told him but the small smile on his face showed that he appreciated the gesture all the same.

“I wanted to.” Viktor replied, returning the smile. “What was it they wanted to talk to you about.”

Yuuri’s face fell again and he turned away, averting his eyes.

“Marriage.” he said bluntly and Viktor’s heart leapt in his chest. If Yuuri’s parents were pushing for their son to finally marry it would be even easier to convince Yuuri to rush their wedding.

“They told me it’s time. They let Phichit and I put it off for years but they’re getting older and so is his father and they want us to do it within the year.”

Viktor froze, every part of his body suddenly turning to ice like the arctic waters he had swam in only once.

“Phichit?” he asked and his voice sounded surprisingly calm even to himself, none of his inner turmoil showing on the surface.

“Yes.” Yuuri stopped walking for a minute, turning to Viktor and looking confused. “You’ve met him Viktor, he was here just last week.”

Of course Viktor knew who Phichit was, Yuuri had introduced them enthusiastically and the two of them had gotten along well. Phichit was bright and bubbly and he and Yuuri were very close. But they had never shown any romantic inclination towards each other during any of the time that Phichit had been there, on a diplomatic visit with his kingly father.

“But why would you marry Phichit?” Viktor asked and he could hear a slight hint of desperation begin to creep into his voice. “I thought you were just friends.”

“We are.” Yuuri was still staring at Viktor, looking confused. “He’s the best friend I’ve ever had. But we’ve been betrothed since we were both children. We were both hoping to delay the actual wedding for a few more years but our families are finally putting their foot down.”

“But you don’t love him?” Viktor said, still trying to comprehend the enormity of what he had just discovered, something that would ruin everything. “Why would you marry someone if not for love.”

“I’m a prince Viktor.” Yuuri signed and he sounded resigned again. “The second child of royalty. I was always going to have to marry politically. I’m just lucky Phichit and I became such good friends. We might not be in love and never will be but we have a lot more than most arranged marriages do. I was happy to go through with it when I was older before…”

Yuuri’s sentence trailed off and his eyes flickered to Viktor’s face and then away again in an instant, so quickly Viktor thought he might have imagined it. Then Yuuri’s gaze returned and he was looking puzzled again.

“But why are you sounding so surprised about this Viktor. It’s common knowledge that Phichit and I are betrothed. I thought you knew?”

Random snippet 5 - extract from chapter 6 of 8

Viktor sat by the water’s edge, gazing out into the ocean and allowing the tears to fall silently down his cheeks. He couldn’t believe how quickly everything had come tumbling down, all his dreams crushed in a few short words.

Viktor loved Yuuri and he was sure that Yuuri must love him back. But Yuuri was betrothed, soon to be married and had been for years. His sense of duty to his kingdom and his people outweighed anything else and he wouldn’t break off that proposal for anything, Viktor was sure of that. Not even for love.

It was Viktor’s own fault, for falling in love with a human and trading his life away for what he thought would be a happily ever after. His father had called him rash and impulsive many times before but Viktor had always laughed it off. Until now, when it was finally time to face the consequences of his decisions, choices he had made without ever really considering the consequences.

He had made a deal with the sea witch, a human life and one month to make Yuuri fall in love and marry him, or lose his life and be turned to foam on the sea. He might have succeeded at one part but he had failed spectacularly at the other, had never considered the human he had fallen for might already be promised to someone else. And now suddenly it all made sense, the way Yuuri always seemed to keep a careful distance between them even as he seemed to want to come closer, the way they had never kissed even if Yuuri sometimes gazed at his mouth like his desperately wanted to.

Gazing out at the sea Viktor wondered if he would ever get the chance to see his home and family again before the end. There were only three days left and the last light of the sun of the third day was already rapidly fading away. He didn’t have enough time and even if he had wanted to, he had no way of contacting his family nor of returning to his home. He was trapped on land, waiting as the last of his time trickled swiftly away.

A splash from the water in front of him made him jump and he startled when a head appeared from the waves, a familiar face surrounded by wet blond hair glaring at him angrily.

“I heard that you fucked up and your precious prince is all set to marry someone else.” Yuri told him, ignoring Viktor’s look of shock.

“I told you it was a bad idea to fall in love with a human and I was right. So now maybe you should try listening to me for once.”

“It’s too late to change anything.” Viktor replied, closing his eyes, unwilling to look his ex-student in the face.

“No it’s not.” Yuri said and his voice was hard and cold. “I have a plan.”

[srtringbean]

First Love pt. 4

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5 prev  Part 5 

Word count: 3643 Warnings: smut, I hate myself oh god A/n: okay I was going to post this awhile ago but I had like 6 versions of this and finally came up with this and my computer would crash a lot. I hope you like this part and I’ll hopefully have part 5 before the concert next week! Also I’m working on a new fic and will probably upload a preview soon~

“Are you scared that you’ve possibly fallen in love with me y/n?”

Oh how you wished you weren’t a complex asshole. You did feel the same as he did, but you were being the biggest wimp. Your concept of love was nothing but an illusion. Many told you to suck it up and get over it though really if they were to be in your shoes, they’d understand why you’re so hesitant.

“Joon what are you-” “You know exactly what I’m talking about y/n.” He cut you off. “Joon can we please not talk about this. Just go to sleep.” The last thing you wanted to do was get into an argument with him but knowing Namjoon, he wasn’t going to leave you alone until you answered him. “Y/n when will we talk about it then huh?” He scoffed, “you said to give you time and I’ve given you nothing but plenty of time so why the hell are you doing this again?” Letting go of the door knob you turned to face him, “Namjoon what do you mean do this again? I just need time I don’t understand why you’re so worked up about it?” “Seriously? When I try to talk to you now, it’s like I’m not there and you walk away. It’s been weeks now and you still need time?”

The frustration running in your head made you want to bash your head into a wall. Of all people he had to confess it just had to be you. Why? Yes you needed time because six years of not dating did you no good and your boy skills weren’t the greatest. Having an upset Namjoon wasn’t fun at all, he likes to keep things bottled up and he doesn’t realize the effect he has on others. When he’s upset, it trickles down to everyone else around him. Like the day Yoongi yelled at you- which he still hasn’t apologized for since you’ve been salty towards him and he’s been avoiding you. Point is, Namjoon was a very complex person just like you. Yuri would tell you all the time how you guys were basically made for one another but you brushed it off feeling embarrassed. She was right though, both of you were equally as stubborn but the second one of you broke it was like all hell broke loose.

“God can we please not argue about this? It’s almost 10:30 and I just want to get some rest.” “Seriously? That’s all you have to say? I want to rest too but no I dragged my ass here getting tired of this avoiding thing going on.” Sighing in frustration you spoke up, “Look, if you came here to just bicker at me then please I suggest you leave. Why can’t you just leave it as it is Joon?” It wasn’t you intention so come off as rude but it was too late as he raised his voice at you for the first time. “Because y/n you don’t just fucking ask someone to kiss you and then walk away from them because you’re conflicted between your feelings! God don’t you get it? For weeks I’ve done nothing but ask myself if I had done anything wrong to make you feel uncomfortable and it’s done nothing but eat me alive. I can’t sleep I can’t eat I can’t do anything because all I think about what I did to make you walk away from me!” Oh, you thought. The room fell silent as you looked at how upset he really was. It was evident in his face how distressed he really was noticing the bags under his eyes and his aura screaming nothing but desolation.

“I-I… I don’t know.” It was all you can say to him. Suddenly you just didn’t want to be here, possibly from the overwhelming truth hitting you ten fold. The tears going down his face told you how sincere he was being with his feelings, he wasn’t lying to you. That’s probably what scared you the most, for once someone actually wanted to be a part of your life for it was the most foreign feeling and the thought of giving yourself to someone became harder as the years passed. It was when you found out about your own feelings the reason you started to become distant. You didn’t even notice him walking towards you until he was less than a foot away from you avoid his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he sighed trying to calm himself down, “ I didn’t mean to yell at you. I just-” “It’s okay. I’m not mad, I don’t blame you either.” Your voice was soft he had forgotten how shy of a person you really were especially when being put on the spot. That’s what he loved the most about you, although being obnoxious and child like around the boys you were a very shy and quiet girl working her dream job stealing the heart of an idol, it made him melt inside.

“I should be sorry, I’m the one who hurt you.” Gallons of regret drenching you as everything you’ve wanted was right in front of you, hurting him was like a slap to the face realizing how fucked up you could be.

Namjoon finally broke the silence, “Can I ask you something?” You simply nodded looking down at the floor. “How do you really feel? About me or any of this?”

“I feel scared,” you didn’t hesitate as you looked up at him, “ do you know what it’s like to be physically used? You’d think that it wouldn’t hurt but it does, especially knowing that it was the first time you’ve given yourself to someone. I’m not the same y/n I was six years ago but the fear of being with someone still lingers inside of me.”

He didn’t interrupt you, you were opening yourself up and you knew that, It was and always will be the fear of not being wanted because of your past. That’s partially why you suddenly started to become distant with Namjoon, he was persistent but it was a good quality he had. He wasn’t the type to give up so easily and normally you would hate people like him but he became an acception. You don’t even remember when you started to feel the silly butterflies in your stomach when he smiled or the electrical spark igniting when he’d touch you but god you realized how much you did care the second he kissed you. It was every nerve in your body telling you that it was okay but your mind playing games with you holding you back.

“You know you can trust me.” His tone now calmed down after yelling at you not moving from his spot letting you process your thoughts. “I know Joon, and I thank you so much for never leaving. It’s just a big step for me to go further into something that could work.” “Wait what?” Were you giving him the chance or what? Should he be happy or ready for a rejection? You let out a slight chuckle noticing his reaction. “You want to know how I feel? I feel happy yet upset, I feel scared but confident, I know I can move on but I’m still afraid to. My feelings towards you,” you took a deep breath, “ my feelings for you were foreign. It was never my intention to hurt you nor will it ever be Joon and you had every reason to be upset with me. If I’m being honest, the pain I’ve held onto started to evaporate into nothing since the whole incident. You stayed when I was at my worst, surprisingly you didn’t give up on me. I feel okay.”

It was the first time in a long time you felt content with yourself, no more running, no more fear, you were willing to face the truth and admit it.

“I feel okay knowing that whatever happens, it’ll be for a reason. I told you not to fall in love with me and you did it anyways, for some reason I’m okay with that. I’m angry at myself for hurting someone like you, for ignoring you instead of talking, for not being there for you when you were there for me, I’m angry at myself for pushing you away because I’m a coward.”

“So what do you want then?” He was getting nervous since you didn’t fully answer his question. “I want to forget everything,” he frowned but you continued, “ the pain, the fear, everything. I want to know what it means to be loved, the feeling I’ve wanted was bare and raw love. I want you, Kim Namjoon to show me and continue to do so because,” you held back the lump in your throat, “ I know I can say those three words again and mean it.”

He cradled your face swiping the tears away, automatically you gave into his touch and he leaned in gently pressing his lips onto yours. They were soft like he remembered, you smelled like roses and lavender filling his nose intoxicating him, your skin was as smooth as a peach you were the most delicate being he’s ever seen. His lips were plump and soft like you remembered, he didn’t rush into it but was taking his time. Deepening the kiss you rest your hands on his firm chest as he wrapped his arm around your waist, he smelled like a nice spring day mixed with pine making you want more. His scent and touch was already driving you insane feeling the fireworks go off one by one inside for he felt the same way.

Finally he pulled away pressing his forehead on yours looking at you. The color on your cheeks started to turn a few shades red the longer he stared at you so you buried your face into his chest. “Yah I forget how shy of a person you were.” You groaned in response while he laughed at your actions. “You keep staring at me~” “Well I can’t not look at you y/n, have you seen yourself? You’re the most beautiful woman I’ll ever lay eyes on.” “Oh god that was really cheesy.” Hitting his chest you laughed. “Hey,” he lifted your chin to look at him, “ you trust me right?” you nodded wondering what he was thinking until he picked up off the ground out of nowhere. “No no no no no no no no Joon what no I hate being picked up! Put me down!” “Whaaa you’re so light you feel like nothing.” “Ha Ha Ha very funny put me down or-” “Or what?” You didn’t even know you were in your room until he placed you on your bed hovering over you. Has he always been this strong or has he been working out? Damn he looked so attractive you forgot how to speak for a moment. “Cat’s caught your tongue?” Your fingers were outlining every part of his face, the beautiful tan skin reminding you of summer with his sharp fierce eyes and bold brows, his pink hair was now a sandy blond shaved down on the sides but longer in the middle. He looked so good it should be illegal, you grabbed his face bringing it to yours kissing him smiling on his lips and he took that as an opportunity to deepen it while nestling between your legs. His hands started to roam every inch of your body feeling your curves drinking up every part of you. “Is this my shirt I left?” He wondered where his Rolling Stones shirt went but seeing you wear it, he didn’t mind it. “You can have it back if you want.” You were going to give it back but it was really comfortable so you made it your sleepwear forgetting to give it back. “No no, keep it you look really sexy in it.” The color on your cheeks went from pink to crimson red in a few seconds you covered your face. If Namjoon was good at anything, it was flirting- he was the biggest flirt you’ll ever know not even Jungkook or Jimin can beat him.

“Shut up you flirt.” He winked at you and kissed you before you could say anything. His hand rest on the side of you head while the other under your shirt rubbing small circles on your stomach giving you shivers down your spine. You let your hands play with his hair slightly tugging it earning a soft groan as he started trailing kisses to your neck.

Your weak spot. Specifically right under your ear.

The room started to get warmer by the second and when he bit you oh so sweet spot a slight moan left your lips. He smiled against your neck and you could feel him smirking to himself but you didn’t even argue when he went back to what he was doing while his hand went up to palm your bare chest surprised you weren’t wearing a bra. It wasn’t your cup of tea because really you had to let the ladies go after being held in a cup all day, being the best part of your day. To him though for starters, you were a foreigner and he only dreamed of what it would be like to date one.

He hasn’t even done much and you were already aroused just by his touch turning into putty, while he took off the big shirt he saw the marks forming smiling to himself knowing he marked what is his. In a short amount you were getting so worked up and felt embarrassed the longer he looked at you but he stopped you from hiding.

“God you’re so beautiful.” Hearing him compliment you had your stomach doing flips and heart running marathons at the same time you couldn’t help but wonder how you haven’t passed out. You tugged his shirt for him to take it off which he did and damn your throat suddenly became drier than California in a drought. He was definitely working out more, his abs seemed more defined and you wondered why he wouldn’t show them but getting to see them up close, you’d rather have him not reveal them. Namjoon was a whole different of attractive, you unconsciously swallowed at his drop dead gorgeous body.

“H-have you been working out with Kookie lately?” Way to go for stuttering y/n. Giving you a smirk you were suddenly being flipped over now straddling him and his arms wrapped tightly around your waist. Bare chests against one another feeling his warmth transferring to your body, your were certain he could feel how fast your heart was going.

“Yeah I have.” How the hell was he able to get you going so quickly? You felt a pool of heat form and you were sure he could slip in without hesitation. All your senses were being heightened, his mouth now on your bud making you arch into him more from the pleasure. You couldn’t even form proper words while slight moans left your lips, you’ve done a few one night stands and you weren’t a very vocal person maybe from it not being good but he hasn’t even done much and you were already a mess. He made sure you were enjoying yourself giving both buds equal attention and your hips started to slightly grind against his and you could feel the growing bulge from below.

“Don’t do that baby or I won’t hold back.” He growled while biting your collarbones. Letting a chuckle you said, “ It’s a little too late to go back now baby boy,” continuing to grind on him. The sudden confidence in your voice threw you off but had Namjoon rock hard already unable to contain himself flipping you over again you yelped but his eyes were blown out full of lust dominating your lips. Teeth clashing and lip biting so he brought his hand down to your lower abdomen playing with the hem of your shorts you started to grow wetter by the second.

He started leaving trails of kisses down your neck to the valley of your breasts to your lower stomach right at the hem of your shorts biting them teasing you while his hands roamed your legs and body leaving trails of fire behind. Slowly, -real slow- he pulled your shorts down and the cold air hitting your wet heat had you sighing in relief while he looked at how much he’s affected you.

“God why would an asshole use someone as beautiful as you…” Forming proper words was the last thing you were able to do, you started to forget what month it was with the kisses he’d leave down your leg getting closer to the area you needed him at. He took his time appreciating every part of you, the softness of your skin picking up what had you squirming under his touch.

“Namjoon please~” you couldn’t take it anymore nor could he, your desperate voice was like music to his ears and he wanted to make you beg but that could wait for another time. Finally he put his mouth where you needed him to and the contact had you arching your back while grabbing onto the sheets letting out a soft cry.

“You taste so sweet I could do this all day.” You were weak already, borderline fucked up. He continued to lap your fluids licking and sucking at your nub with the right amount of pressure then slowly using his finger to enter your walls slowly moving them in a come hither motion. You knew he would watch porn but what in the name of hell did he find as he was fucking you with his hands leaving you a moaning mess. The endless profanities escaping your mouth had him groaning into your heart sending vibrations through your body you had to grab his hair slightly tugging it.  

“N-nam-joon I’m-” and before you could finish he added another finger. You were passed borderline fucked by now as you rolled your eyes back closing them while you reached your limit clenching your walls around his skilled hands. He rode out your high and removed his fingers licking up your fluids as the sight already brought another wave down to your core, the way you looked laying there post orgasm got him worked up. You could hear him removing the rest of his clothes and as his pants and boxers were gone in one go letting his member sprang free and he was bigger than you thought- the members weren’t very good at keeping a clean mouth but you didn’t blame them. While hovered over you taking your lips and you could taste yourself on as he brought your body closer to his you could feel his tip rubbing against your core and you were more than ready by now.

He started to grind against you letting out a hiss from the feeling, you were both in need of more and he placed a soft kiss on your lips resting his head on your neck. “Are you ready?” You nodded wrapping your arms around his neck biting his earlobe. “Y-yes fuck.” Slowly he entered your tight walls as both of you sighed in relief, until he was fully inside of you now. He stayed in place letting you adjust kissing you everywhere making sure you weren’t in pain.   “Are you okay baby?” He swiped a few hairs out of your face and you gave him a smile assuring him you were okay. Slowly he pulled back to the tip then went back in, keeping a slow pace feeling every part of you marking your neck letting a mix of your name and profanities leave his mouth. Trying to speak became a struggle it was like being in kindergarten all over, “f-faster,” You managed to choke out which he complied now picking up the pace. The sound of skin slapping, moans and groans filled the room and your nails were going down his back leaving marks or red lines while he continued to leave marks on your neck slipping out I love you’s and you’re beautiful like a mantra. You started you attack his neck marking him up then biting a certain area slightly behind his earlobe when he groaned into your lips picking up the pace even more muffling you moans.

“J-joon I’m close.” Finding your sweet spot he continued to thrust while hitting that spot over and over again there were white stars everywhere.

“Fuck I love you so much.” This is what love was supposed to feel like and having him be the one, you felt happy for once and took his took his lips between your teeth reaching your climax within seconds. While riding through your high his thrusts started to stutter and he hid his face in you neck finally coming undone with three to four more thrusts releasing his seed inside of you. Both of you stayed in place catching your breath as he left a trail of kisses up your neck then taking your lips into his molding perfectly into each other. He pulled out and fell right next to you pulling you closer while uncovering the sheets to cover your bare body.

“Are you okay?” He said while you cuddled up closer to him. “Never been better. Thank you… for everything.” Your eyelids felt heavy and next thing you knew you fell asleep. Your dream wasn’t black and empty anymore, there was light and a field of flowers. Namjoon was standing there in front of you and you couldn’t help but smile. All the worries you’ve had suddenly disappeared. You fell asleep tangled in each other's arms it felt like home, he was your new home. What lies ahead is something you weren’t prepared for.

{ To be continued~}

[ill337erate]

THE BEACH SCENE

OK SO The beach scene in episode 4 is one of my favorite scenes and each time I watch it my interpretation of it evolves. It's so layered. So I'm writing my current version of it bc ungodly hours of the morning are the best times to write these long-ass posts Let's do this chronologically: PRE-BEACH SCENES 1. The seagulls. When Victor first makes the Yuris listen to Agape and Eros, there is a brief cut to some noisy gulls between Agape and Eros. Then, after Yuuri tells Victor what he wants if he wins [to keep winning so he can keep eating katsudon with Victor], the camera cuts once again to noisy gulls. Throughout the show, the gulls represent Victor's home; I believe their purpose in this scene is to highlight that Victor's true home is where his love is. They appear when he plays two pieces about different forms of love, and they appear when Yuuri touchingly asks Victor to stay because he wants to spend time with him as a person (rather than treating him as a tool to help him win, like Yurio). 2. "Think of [...] a lover that loved you." Yuuri snaps at Victor in this scene; Victor apologizes, saying he forgot Yuuri never had a lover. The montage following that scene hilariously shows that the only reason Yuuri doesn't have a lover NOW is because he keeps snubbing Victor. There's something more to it, though: he thinks Victor thought him weak for never having had a lover. So Yuuri "pushes" Victor away by ignoring him. BEACH SCENE 1. Victor tells Yuuri that the gulls remind him of his home-by-default, St Petersburg. He also mentions never having noticed the seagulls there before; St Petersburg might be where he lives but it is not where his love is. This allows us to understand the meaning of the gulls as they appear in other scenes, but isn't as directly relevant here. 2. Victor asks Yuuri if he has experienced anything like that before, and interestingly, Yuuri tells a story that has nothing to do with it. Yuuri's story serves as an analogy to his current situation. He is explaining his current behavior indirectly to Victor--the snapping, the avoiding... [as I explained earlier, he is "pushing" Victor away because Victor's comment about him never having had a lover was much like the girl who tried to hug him; Yuuri didn't want Victor to invade his feelings and see his weakness] 3. Victor realizes that he made Yuuri uncomfortable. He tells Yuuri that nobody thinks he is weak, and on top of that, offers to take on whatever role Yuuri wants him to be. I think Victor does this because he doesn't want to overstep again, so he wants Yuuri to tell him exactly how much distance he wants between them. He exhausts all other the options before proposing to play the role of Yuuri's lover once he realized that Yuuri didn't necessarily want something platonic. 4. Yuuri jumps 5 feet in the air and emphatically rejects that offer. He then tells Victor that he just wants Victor to be himself, and that he has always looked up to Victor. Yuuri doesn't feel ready to consider himself in a relationship yet, and he doesn't want Victor to play any roles with him. He didn't turn Victor's offer down because he didn't like Victor "that way", or didn't want Victor to like him "that way". Yuri just needs time to let things evolve gradually. 5. This is supported by the next event: Victor says he'll show his love by being a demanding coach, and Yuuri shakes his hand while thinking to himself that Victor meets him halfway when he opens up. To me this shows that Yuuri accepts Victor's love for him, even if he's not ready for a relationship quite yet. I don't think he'd have been comfortable with the idea of Victor hanging around with his love definitively unrequited. Indeed, even if he's not yet ready to take things further, Yuuri does love Victor... POST-BEACH SCENE 1. My entire earlier post explains this fully so I'm not gonna go super into it here lol, but basically, Yuuri confesses to Victor that he loves him back by his choice of theme for his FP, "On [Yuuri's] love."