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painted-flag · 2 months ago

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OF FLOWERS AND DEATH - aemond targaryen

Chapter 10: The Art of Potion Making

!!! An important poll regarding the upload schedule for this series can be found here. !!!

☾⋆⁺₊✧ dark elf!Aemond Targaryen x f!human!reader series. ✧₊⁺⋆☾ series masterlist. ☾⋆⁺₊✧ word count: 4.5k ✧₊⁺⋆☾ series warnings: 18+ depictions of violence/gore, eventual smut, warfare, sickness/disease, some moments of misogyny, and mentions of alcohol consumption. ☾⋆⁺₊✧ Potion making is easy, but command over the dark arts is a skill derived from centuries of experience.

Two days came and went of unpacking as much as you could before going to your work and delving into books, notes, experiments, and taking care of patients. In the chaos of everything, there was no time for you to sit down and relax. You woke, ate quickly, unpacked as much as you could before Amara and Liriel came to get you ready for the day, and went about your duties in the healing facilities.

In that time, not much progress was made in your research or Daeron’s. The two of you had hit a wall, which seemed impossible to overcome. It became a topic of tension between you two. Each knew that it was not the other's fault and did not blame them, but the feeling of hopelessness began to wear down on you two.

You were finally granted a moment of reprieve.

The cool breeze of the morning chill flowed through your open windows. Scents of blooming plants filled the space as you broke your fast. You had spent the morning reading the last filled-in pages of your father's journal. It may not have been the best decision, as you struggled to maintain your composure at parts. He would write about his days however a large focus was on you. He went on of how proud he was of you and of the young lady you were becoming. His written words gave you both a sense of comfort and a deep sharp pain in your chest.

Your hand turned to the last entry and you took in the date. It was the day before he left on a trip, the one he vanished on. You sucked in a breath and looked outside, tears brimming your eyes. While your father’s disappearance was devastating, you managed to get used to the pain over the years. Reading his journal seemed to open those cuts you long thought were healed.

Your eyes scanned the delicate ink stains of his writing. His writing had always been a topic of jealousy for you, for it was always neat. He spoke of his upcoming journey. While he originally told you he was heading north, his writing revealed it was not the case. Your brows furrowed as you scanned the writing, certain excerpts reaching out to you.

The southern lake of Rosemagne… is the topic of contention among my fellow researchers because of the… I believe it is a good place to gather samples to…

You scanned the words with a rushed fervour. You did not recognize the lake's name and found yourself leaving the table and moving toward your bookshelf. The chair scraped against the floor. Once you grabbed the book you were looking for, you dashed back and sat down. You flipped to a map of the known lands and scanned the various bodies of water. Your finger dragged across the parchment as you scanned, but you could not find it in your kingdom. A tiny feeling settled in your stomach; a queasy sickness that churned the food you had eaten.

“Please tell me you were not so foolish…” Your voice barely came out, a whisper so imperceptible even you did not know if you actually spoke it.

You began to go over the known lands of the elf kingdom. Far larger than your own, you spent longer scanning the land. To your horror, but also correct assumption, the image of Lake Rosemagne sat just under your fingertip.

Oh, gods…

Your father entered elf territory without permission. His disappearance could only mean a single thing; he was caught and properly dealt with. The cup on your table was hurled at the wall quickly and you began to lose control of your breathing, chest heaving with sobs that threatened to spill. This whole time you held to the belief he was still out there.

Your mind conjured up scenarios where he decided to stay in a place he thought promising to his research. While naive, it was how you coped. There was no way you wished to admit the truth that had been clawing down your throat for years. The thought of him dead, of you being parentless and thus alone and without grounding in this world, was not an option for you.

Your suspicion then turned to Aemond. Surely, he would have known about your father. As king, he would have been notified of any trespassers. There was the very possibility that he may have executed your father himself.

No.

Your brain refused to admit it. He would have told you or perhaps Helaena may have known. You shook your head at that, if Helaena knew she would have informed you immediately after piecing it together. She would never hide a thing like that from you, but Aemond…

Was Aemond’s agreement to Helaena’s proposal of you coming here nothing but a way to lure you in? To finish the job and get rid of all possible people who would have known?

The two of you had just begun to bridge the cavern that separated one another. Assumptions would get you nowhere. Whether or not he had a hand in your father's likely death, this had to be handled with care. There was no proof he had done what your brain jumped to and you would not condemn him until there was evidence. You would play the field as necessary. Not reveal that you know and pretend to be unaware of it all.

The room felt stifling. The walls closed in on you and you needed to get out. You composed yourself and splashed water on your face from the wash basin to get rid of the redness on your skin. You placed your father’s journal under the pillows on your bed to hide it. While not a good spot, you were in no headspace to think of someplace better.

All you cared about was leaving the suffocating room.

The door to the library by your laboratory was a welcoming sight. You believed it was time to shuffle through the shelves again in hopes that you could find something new for your research. A title you may have brushed off in previous visits could stand out and be worth the read.

You pushed open the wood and are greeted with a sight you wished to avoid. Aemond stood beside one of the tables, casually flipping through the pages of a book that had been likely left behind by some visitor. He looked bored as if he had been waiting for something. Alerted by your presence, he turned his head to see you.

“Good morrow, your grace.” You bowed respectfully, but truthfully you wished to run as fast and far as you could. Images of your father flashed across your vision when looking at the king. The speculation of your father’s death conjured up just moments ago pressed down on your chest.

Aemond spoke your name. It was incredible how shamefully you relished in the way it rolled off his tongue. While you stated that you did not hate him, you also did not like him. At the very least, you had begun to think of him positively, but with your discovery that trust was thrown away.

“I was informed of your curiousness regarding dark magic,” Aemond continued. You got nervous as such information could likely have you in dire straits. He picked up another book that was on the table and walked over to you, “This was something I read a few centuries ago. I completely forgot about it until I was browsing my shelves and thought you would need it.”

The way in which he casually threw out that he had read it a few centuries ago came across like a person reminiscing on an event from just a month or two ago. Your heart quickened at the notion that, while he was browsing his personal collection, he stumbled across a book and thought of you. It was a dangerous mode of thinking for you, to go down such a speculative path.

Aemond held out the book and you went to grab it. The tips of your fingers brushed against his and a flurry of heat coursed up through your arm. You almost reflexively dropped the book by the shock you felt.

“Thank you,” You responded once it was in your arms. You held it to your chest, like some kind of shield between you two.

“I was thinking that I could also peruse the shelves here with you. I can translate the ones in other languages.” It was yet another olive branch extended from him, except this time you did not want to meet it. The thought of your whole presence being here as a trap set by him threw you off.

The most dangerous creatures are often beautiful.

You had not remembered where exactly such a phrase was ingrained into you. You had heard it from someone, but their words rang true. It was best for you to put up a wall before it was too late. There was nothing wrong with you and Aemond’s relationship just a few short days ago – barely acknowledging one another.

“I do not need any help, your grace,” You interjected, “Daeron has translators if I need them.”

It may have been a trick of the light or perhaps a misinterpreted thought, but you could have sword a gleam of disappointment flashed across Aemond’s eye. He shuffled almost awkwardly on his feet and moved his hands to be clasped behind him.

He gave you a curt nod, “I shall leave you to it, then.” He moved past you to leave and his scent lingered. Burning wood and parchment undercut by a medley of spices. It was entirely too intoxicating.

The familiar sight of Lyra lying in her bed greeted you as you walked into the sick hall. She had been fiddling with a doll in her lap, stuck in the childlike wonder of imagination. As you approached, she spotted you and a smile made its way on her face.

Lyra spoke your name, “You’re here!”

“I’m here. And how have you been, sweet girl?” You sat on the edge of the bed and made a trained scan of her body, checking the progression of the taint as the purple-black darkness spread on her skin.

“I am fine, other than the fact that I wish to know what is going on outside this hall,” Lyra answered. It was no surprise she wanted to leave. Most patients expressed the same sentiment. Their bedbound lifestyle was suffocating. While they were not contagious, their frail conditions would make any instance of walking painful and could worsen their condition.

“I’m sorry, but you know you cannot leave this bed.” You reasoned.

Lyra nodded and held out the doll. It was small - only slightly bigger than your hand and sizeable enough to fit in a pocket. The doll shared a remarkable resemblance to Lyra. Gold embroidery string replicated her hair and a small sewn outfit adorned the doll.

“Could you take Lady with you? It does not matter what adventure she goes on, I just want her to see outside this hall.” Lyra asked you. Your hands reached out to take the doll and made sure to handle it with extra care.

“I will take her on many adventures.” You promised. While you gave her a wide smile, your inner self was in turmoil. It ached at the sadness of her situation, something that many others were suffering through. You looked around the room and saw Daeron walking in from one of the balconies.

You leaned over to tuck Lyra in, “I have something I need to discuss with Daeron. Get some rest, sweet girl.” Lyra nodded at your words and closed her eyes to go to sleep. You tucked the doll gently in one of your dress pockets and got up to stop Daeron as he moved down the centre aisle.

Daeron greeted you before his face went still, “How serious is it?”

“Pardon?” You responded.

“You get this look on your face when you are going to talk about something serious.” Daeron raised one eyebrow, “Am I correct?”

You grabbed his arm and started to pull him in the direction of the laboratory. You proposed many days ago the option of using dark magic against the taint off of the basis of your poison hypothesis. He promised he would think about it and you gave him space to do so, but now you were more anxious than ever for a response. However, you could not bring it up in a space full of other witnesses.

Once in the safety of the laboratory, you moved to the book you had used for this discovery and pulled out the mortua terra flower samples as well. You had already gathered all of the other ingredients that made up your old formula – the one with the most success.

Daeron looked back and forth between you and the table, “And this is?”

“My proposal,” You told him, “I gathered the flowers in this book. I am ready, but are you?”

He kept his gaze on the jar of flowers in front of him and rested his hands on his waist, “Dark magic is something that marks your soul. I cannot, with consciousness, allow you to do this alone.”

You moved your mouth to speak, but Daeron held his hand out to stop you, “You do not need to pretend you wouldn’t have gone and done it yourself regardless of my decision.” There was something almost comical in the way he could easily read you and you wondered if the other elves could do that as well.

Daeron went about organizing the ingredients and prepping everything to work. You followed in his steps, cutting and juicing the ingredients while he spoke, “There are things such as light and dark plants. They are incompatible in mixtures together, but each serves well on their own. Light plants are easy to manipulate. Those flowers you collected are dark, so working with them requires extra preparation steps.”

“And I am guessing those steps are difficult,” You interjected. Daeron picked up a single mortua terra flower and inspected it.

“Yes,” He answered, “We need blood to leech out its magical properties.”

You paused your movements and the metal stirrer halted but the liquid inside the pot continued to swirl, “Blood?”

“The blood is just a grounding force.” He lit a small fire under two potting zones and poured the liquid from your pot into them. “I am curious to see the difference between human blood and elf blood.”

“But if we just need blood to activate it, what makes it dark magic?” You questioned him. Daeron turned and dragged two comfy chairs across the stone floor to be placed near the table. He adjusted the pillows.

“The blood is a connection to you and your soul. The more potent it is, the more energy it takes from you. That is the risk with dark magic, it sucks your energy and your soul the more you do it. However, the more you do it, you eventually cannot stop. It becomes addicting.” Daeron then unsheathed a dagger that was strapped to his waist. The metal glimmered in the candlelight.

He picked up one of the flowers and dropped it into one of the pots. Once it sank into the simmering mixture, he held his hand out and slowly cut a line on his palm. Beads of blood pooled to the surface and dripped into the pot. His brows furrowed as he winced. Daeron cleaned the blade in a washpot that was on the table. He then held it out to you.

“Your skin must make contact with the flower. Drop it in, wait a few seconds, and then cut.” You took the blade from him and a small wave of reluctance came over you. This is what you wanted, but it was still terrifying.

You followed the steps carefully. Afterwards, Daeron gestured to the chairs, “Sit down. The longer it brews, the more energy will be drained. We will be here all night.”

The two of you sat in the chairs that were placed next to one another and listened to the bubbling of the liquid. Silence enveloped the two of you. As predicted, drowsiness settled over you. It was not intense, but began to creep up on you. Daeron did not look as affected and you assumed that largely had to do with your races; elves were stronger than humans.

To occupy yourself, you decided to speak, “Why is your brother the way he is?”

“I do not even know where to begin with Aegon. He-”

“Not Aegon,” You interrupted, “King Aemond. Why is he…” You trailed off, unable to finish the sentence. One moment, Aemond is holding a sword to your throat and the next he is offering you a book and help. It was incredibly dizzying. It made you feel mad. Aemond’s attitude threw you off, but the shreds of kindness that extended your way erupted a flurry in your stomach and burning in your veins.

Daeron sighed, “He is guarded. Some of the things he has gone through made him-”

“Cruel?” You finished his sentence.

He shook his head in denial and adjusted his posture in the chair, “As I said before, everything my brother did was to protect his people.”

You waited a few moments before responding, “I’ve met your family, all of you are incredibly kind. I’ve heard the stories of what he did during the Great War. Why is he so different?”

“Most of the stories about him you humans tell are exaggerated.” Daeron stretched his legs out, some drowsiness already starting to come over him.

“So he does not drink the blood of his enemies?” You asked.

“No.” Was Daeron’s quick response.

You decided to go through all of the stories you could remember, “Hangs men up by their balls? Feeds dead children to their parents? Leaves field of impaled men as a warning?”

“No.”

“He doesn’t set fields and towns on fire? Raid strongholds that had already surrendered, killing all the men inside?” Your tone moved to a more teasing manner.

Instead of answering, Daeron got quiet. His silence was a confirmation and you sunk further into your chair. You could, if you tried hard enough, picture it in your head. Aemond, standing in a blazing field, bodies littered around, and the screams of humans being all that could be heard. You cringed at that and felt an overpowering feeling of guilt for ever allowing yourself to be entranced by him.

In your state of exhaustion, you leaned your head on Daeron’s shoulder. He rested his cheek against the top of your head and the two of you stared at the brewing pots. There was one last question that burned at you, one you had asked Aemond but received no response.

“What does rūklon mean?” Your pronunciation had not gotten better, but the point was still made.

You could feel Daeron adjust his head slightly, “Why?”

“I just…” You paused and wondered if you should tell him that Aemond referred to you by that word to Helaena, but decided against it for fear it might be bad, “I heard it in passing and wondered.”

“Well, it could refer to a blooming plant, but more often it just means flower,” Daeron answered. Helaena’s voice – mimicking Aemond’s words – echoed through your head.

That stupid little rūklon risking her life…

Little flower…

Was it a connection to the fact that you wore the azure perfume that reminded him of his childhood? That may have charged extra anger towards you. You highly doubted, out of all possible reasons behind it, that Aemond meant it as some kind of nickname. Daeron’s confirmation of Aemond’s cruelty just moments ago came back to you.

Some weird part of you felt the need to justify his actions. They were at war and he was their king. He had pressure over his shoulders like no other to keep his people safe. Aemond had to make decisions, hard ones, for the continuation of his kingdom. Quickly after that thought came more guilt. You felt cruel yourself for trying to find a likely reason behind his actions – to somehow justify the wholesale slaughter of your own kind.

Perhaps, if you were lucky one day, you could hear Aemond’s side.

Daeron was the one to break the silence instead of you, “I love my siblings, I truly do. Helaena is my closest friend and I am grateful to have her as a sister. But… I’ve always wanted a little sister. I know it hasn’t been a while since we’ve met, but I think of you as one.”

You did not know if he was just sharing this with you because he wanted to or if the gradual exhaustion had something to do with his confession. Regardless of the reasoning, his thoughts matched something you had always had.

“I’ve always wanted an older brother.” It was a simple response, but gave Daeron the comforting answer he wanted. He went back to resting his head against yours. In your shared state of comfort, the both of you eased into a dreamless sleep.

You were caught in that haze of sleep and awake. There were no dreams, just an abyss of darkness that wrapped you in warmth. In the distance, a part of your consciousness was creeping forward. It spun into action upon hearing your name being whispered. You felt a light press on your shoulder and came to. Your eyes opened to see Daeron crouched in front of you. He shook your shoulder with care.

Your energy had been regained and you saw the table with the brewing pots to be on a low simmer. It likely had burned through the energy needed and made it so you and Daeron could wake. It was only when you adjusted in your seat that you saw Aemond standing next to the table and watching you with his arms crossed.

“Your grace,” You shot out of the chair, but in doing so made your head spin. You would have tumbled if Daeron did not catch you. One of his hands gripped your right forearm and the other wrapped around your waist with care. You blushed deeply with embarrassment as the flush moved across your cheeks and down your chest.

Aemond observed with a careful eye. You could see his one eye drift down to where Daeron’s arms held you and he pursed his lips. He had likely seen you and Daeron asleep together and wondered what was going on.

“Burning a candle at both ends?” Aemond spoke. It was a weird question coming from him; to tease you about working late. Daeron released you and walked to the table where his brother was.

Daeron gestured to the two simmering pots, “We are starting a new experiment that may likely be promising.” Aemond peered over to look into the pots and hummed. You approached warily and moved to the other side of the table to create distance between you and the two elves.

“They should be ready for testing on samples, your grace.” You spoke. Aemond continued to look at the mixture brewing.

“The flowers she brought back was a stroke of genius,” Daeron praised.

Aemond then looked up at you, his expression unreadable, “The same ones collected from the forest?” His tone bordered on scolding. Any words you could think of got caught in your throat and you nodded.

Daeron sensed a bit of tension and clapped his hands together once, “Well, you should tell him about your hypothesis,” You sent him a look of challenge and he reciprocated with a nervous smile. You did not know why Aemond was being combative. While he was quick to attitude, there was something that must have soured his mood.

You cleared your throat, “Well, some poisons can be used to counteract others. I thought the same could be done to the taint but it only worked temporarily. I thought, perhaps, the taint was not poison but some kind of dark magic. That is why we needed those flowers,”

Aemond opened his crossed arms and clasped his hands behind his back, “Smart.” That seemed to ease the king's annoyance and you were able to breathe.

“I must get going to tend to patients,” Daeron announced. He addressed you and spoke, “Keep watch on the brew.” The prince said his goodbyes and left. You wanted to reach out and tug at the collar of his shirt, drag him from the door, and place him right next to the table. There was an overwhelming urge to curse him out that overcame you. He left you alone with Aemond, knowingly and seemingly acted as though it was funny.

You decided to distract yourself from the tension and moved to start organizing ingredients and other items on the table. The piercing gaze of Aemond’s eye fell like lead on your skin.

“The two of you have gotten close,” Aemond uttered. You continued with your task, though you could still see him in the corner of your vision. The table between you two did not feel like enough room, yet at the same time, a part of you wished it was not there.

“Well, the prince has been incredibly helpful in teaching me-”

“I would advise against engaging in anything further.” He interrupted, “You best understand that elves and humans do not mix.”

Your brows furrowed and you ceased your movements. His words took a few thrumming beats of your heart to register. Aemond’s insinuation finally hit you. He believed, upon seeing you and Daeron asleep against one another, that feelings were beginning to bloom. You understood why he was suddenly so sour.

You were a human and the slightest notion of you so much as coupling with an elf must have been what angered him. He expressed his reservations about you being less because of your race in the past. It had angered him even further that he thought you were not just trying to go after an elf, but a member of the royal family no less. He barely thought you were good enough to consider a friend.

“Oh, no-” You tried to interject and clarify, but Aemond interrupted again.

“Best get back to work.” He gave you an uncomfortable smile as if hiding a tinge of pain and quickly exited the room. You were left alone in the laboratory. The bubbling of the pots became a background noise as the thrumming of your heart took over. You did not know why it was beating so quickly. At no point in that exchange did you feel scared or hunted, yet your heartbeat betrayed you. A heat had returned to your face and you shook your heat in an attempt to ground yourself.

You moved to stir the two pots all while trying to ease the unknown feelings budding in your chest.

Chapter 11: A New Ally Preview

His eyes narrowed and you could tell his temper had flared. He then stood chest to chest with you and raised his arm. You stood with your shoulders straight, willing to take whatever he threw at you. Cole would not have you act out in violence towards him. Despite having made incredible progress here, your record was not entirely clean since your run into the woods. If you chose to attack an elf – especially a council member – no amount of advocacy on Helaena’s, Daeron’s or even Aegon’s account would save you from harsh punishment.

As Cole narrowed in to strike you, a voice interrupted, “I hope I am gravely mistaken for what I am witnessing.”

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cherryrikis · 2 months ago

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BETTER LUCK TOMORROW - introduction ! senior project

pairing : nishimura riki x reader

synopsis : after being in the wrong place at the wrong time, you (as well as your friends), were framed for the death of your brother and disappearance of your boyfriend. you all had no hope. no job, no money, none of you were even allowed to graduate. at least, until a stubborn kid on a dance scholarship suddenly acts as your savior, riki helps clear your name all for the sake of a school project.

this episode contains the following : 1.3k wc, brief swearing, mentions of death & mentions of murder/killing, lots of dialogue

previous | masterlist | next

“as you all know, you have a major senior project due by the end of the year for part of your college interviews. this will be worth 90% of your grade and is not optional. any questions to far?” riki’s english teacher read off the whiteboard, before turning to face the class.

she cleared her throat loudly before continuing.

“late work will not be accepted, because you have until may 25 to get this project submitted. everyone should know which college they plan on attending, or applying to by now. a google slides format must be be at least 25 slides, and a word doc should be at least 10 pages.”

jungwon quoted the teacher, explaining to riki what’s expected of them after he realized riki hadn’t been paying attention.

“how the hell did you remember all she said? and- why are you even here.. you’re like, a freshman in college.” riki noticed, with a visible look of confusion on his face.

“sophomore, actually. and i’m here for volunteer work! we have finals too you know. i was telling you and sunoo about this last week, but it’s for my social thought class!-” jungwon explained with a smile, only for it to drop as he was cut off .“yeah yeah okay. so what kind of topic am i supposed to pick?” riki asked before crumpling up a random paper into a ball, tossing it in jungwons direction.

jungwon let out a sigh. “riki, you really need to do better. if you can’t improve how you act, that impact will show on my grade as well. and that won’t be good for either of us.” he said as he took the paper ball, unfolding it to reveal riki’s report card from last quarter. it wasn’t too bad really, mainly straight a and b minuses. but the biggest issue, was behavior and participation.

“how would your grade tanking be bad on me? i still have until fall before i start going to ucla.”

“i really don’t know how you got in.” jungwon shook his head.

“dance scholarship. duh.” “nishimura riki! you have 7 more minutes to determine your main topic. i recommend that you use your time more wisely.” the teacher called out from her desk.

“okay seriously, now we have to focus. what topics are you interested in?” jungwon asked, as he pulled his notebook out.

“well, i like dancing. i can research the history on different dance styles.” riki shrugged, loosely putting an idea out there.

“that’s actually not that bad, especially as a dance major. let’s sit on that idea for a bit in case anything else comes up. what else do you like?” jungwon hummed while briefly scribbling a few notes in.

“i don’t even get why i still have to do this stupid assignment when i already heard back from ucla. if anything it’s a waste of my time, because this only benefits the kids who haven’t heard back yet.” riki complained.

“well,” jungwon chuckled. “the start of the fall semester is still a while from now, anything can change by then. they’re still gonna be looking at your final report card and all that. this is just to determine that your slot in that school is ensured. i think the you from freshman year would be proud to see you improve.”

but of course, he wasn’t listening. riki was hyper focused on his computer. at least until the last sentence stuck out to him.

“say that again?” riki questioned, making sure he heard jungwon right.

“the you from three years ago would be proud if you improved?” he repeated an improvised version, with a raised brow.

riki chewed on the bottom of his pen, before hastily writing something down on jungwon’s notebook.

“you.. you want to solve heeseung and jay’s case..?” jungwon stuttered as he read the notes. “how is this even related to what i said? is it because you were a freshman when it happened?”

“do you really believe yn was capable of killing them? i mean honestly, won. we grew up with her. she was heeseung’s little sister.” riki insisted, ignoring jungwon’s previous questions.

“i couldn’t believe it either, because there was no way it could’ve been her. but there was a lot of evidence that said otherwise.” jungwon informed, moving the notebook back onto his desk.

“also, don’t get mad when i say this. but, do you think the reason why you’ve been so fixated on yn being innocent is because you never got over your crush on her from middle school?”

“hey! shut the fuck up dude.” riki hissed, slapping the older boy on the back of his head. “and she was someone we were close to, a 17 year old at the time. it just isn’t likely.”

“age doesn’t mean anything. 35% of murders in america were committed by people ranging between 17 and 21. and, 28% of murders are committed by a relative or acquaintance. chances are low but not zero.” a girl butt in from behind the them. riki whipped his head back to see who it was, only to wish he never turned around.

minji kim. a pain in the original friend groups ass since elementary school.

the two stared at her with two completely different expressions. riki looked minji up and down with a frown, while jungwon just blinked slowly with wide eyes.

“what? do you seriously not remember me?” she scoffed.

“no trust me, we do, minji.” riki huffed before turning back around.

“we’re just wondering how you know that, is all.” jungwon hummed.

“my brother is a police officer now. i’m sure if you didn’t know who he was, one of your other friends might.” she snickered.

minjae kim. he is minji’s brother and one of the officers who handled the heeseung-jay case, aka one of the officers responsible for the arrests of yn and a few others. riki would know, because he attended the court hearing.

“minji, what topic have you selected?” the teacher asked as she briefly looked up from the computer screen.

“i will be making a slideshow on the history of ballet.” she answered with a proud smile. oh how riki just wanted to wipe that look off her face.

“and.. finally. riki and jungwon?”

"me and jungwon will investigate the lee siblings case, from 3 years ago." and the teachers face fell.

"riki, i don't know if this is a good topic write on. you still have time to change your mind-"

"no. this is what i want to do. i want to solve the murder of heeseung lee, and the disappearance of jay park." riki cut off the teacher with determination.

and the class went silent.

"there's nothing to solve! yn lee killed her own brother, and her own boyfriend. case closed." minji said. but remember, her brother was one of the officers who testified against yn. of course, her opinion on the topic was just as biased as riki’s or jungwon’s could be.

"shut up minji, your brother got demoted for a reason. and, you didn't know yn." jungwon waved off.

"you may have known heeseung but that doesn't mean you know her. and i know enough about yn lee to see that shes a cold hearted killer." "enough!" the teacher interrupted.

"fine. riki and jungwon, you may pursue this case. but we have to set some boundaries. first off, you may use any public sources or personal connections. secondly, when contacting any sources like publishers or officers, do not push the limit. if they say certain answers to questions are confidential, then respect that. third and foremost, absolutely do NOT contact the lees or the parks. leave any involved families out of this, especially now that miss yn lee is out of juvie."

she teacher sighed in slight relief as she saw jungwon and riki nodding in agreement.

but what she didn’t see, was how their fingers were crossed behind their backs.

taglist ! @jiiyen @prettiestgirlontheplanet @hannicorpse @wonsboo @murazbae @stilesks @soobinbunnie5 @blvengene @r1kification @gyuvision @goldenmellow @ariluvssssss100 @who-tf-soddhi @mmurazz @jaemified @strawberrieswithchocolateo3o @heartheejake @hoonsdrnkdzd

not proofread

#k-films #en-diaries #enhypen x reader #enhypen #niki smau #niki x reader #enhypen imagines #enhypen smau #enhypen scenarios #enhypen niki #nishimura riki #riki x reader

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reimenaashelyee · 11 months ago

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The World in Deeper Inspection UPDATE Read: (Chapter 1: Pages 57 to 68) (COMPLETED)

About the comic

Grimsley confronts the man who set him on this goose chase.

And with that… that’s the end of the 10th Anniversary revamp!! Can’t believe it took me almost a year to get this short project done, but blame my school and day job for that! *drives the nail into the TWIDI IS NOT DEAD sign deeper into the wall*

It was enlightening to reinterpret my first ever completed comic (more complete than the strips and unfinished or one-off shorts I had done prior) – basically the one that started me down the road to a career as a published author. I was happy to see how much my style had improved – not just in the layout, flow and pacing – but in how my characters have become more expressive and energetic, and how comfortable I am with the cartooning. Here is the proof that drawing comics helps you get better at comics!! It only took 10 / 11 years!

Plus, after a long while of drawing with a more reserved, professional approach (see: Seance Tea Party, Alexander Comic), I enjoyed the abandon and whimsy of TWIDI. The lettering is inconsistent all over but that only adds to the handmade whimsical charm of TWIDI, so lol.

Anyway – I have the 10th Anniversary ebook edition up on my Ko-fi and itch.io! This edition carries both the original and revamped versions of Chapter 1. No new cover or illustration for it this time; I think they are perfect as they are.

I have been meaning to make a continuation of the end of TCM that bridges the start of Chapter 1. It’s a long time coming: a story that had somewhat existed since the early days of TWIDI in 2010. Hopefully I will find that stability in my life to return.

Open the cut below to see my notes.

There’s also nothing exciting here, EXCEPT I severely cut down on the number of panels (and the verbiage).

As with the previous spread I cut down and distilled a lot of the verbiage. I shifted the dialogue slightly so that the reveal that Mr. Brown is a Lord comes from Grimsley (in 2013, Mr Brown never admitted he was an aristrocrat until this page) – it made more sense since Grimsley had gotten the info independently from the newspaper article and Andrew, and Mr Brown not mentioning it himself fits with his whole lying thing. For this spread and the next couple of them I am zooming out the panels to include more scenery. The 2013 layouts felt very claustrophobic, with the over-reliance on bust shots of the characters to carry the tension of the conversation.

Some more dialogue trimming and background scenery. I decided to change the setting for the chase sequence to be within the cemetery – just ’cause it makes more sense than if it was done all around Brookham. The panelling for it is a bit more dynamic too – look, Grimsley is parkouring!!

I have no idea why 10 (actually, 11) years ago I had so much trouble conveying and pacing this sequence of Mr Brown being set on fire. That’s the hindsight of experience, I guess??? Anyway I added a few more panels for actual build-up, and the blocking is way better now – there’s more energy (especially Skeleton’s expressions) and clarity (omg we can finally see where and what’s happening to the lamp). The last panel is a new addition to better connect with the next spread. Also… I am excited to see how much further I can draw Mr. Brown’s demise.

Man, the difference some changes in pacing can make. I added some panels with witnesses to the fire, just to emphasise why Grimsley and Skeleton have got to run. It’s crazy enough if a Brookie has got to witness immolation in the middle of the Night, but two paranatural spookies??? Also human fat has such a colour hdsjkfhsdkf the things that come out of an immolated body are so eerie….

The 2013 spread is almost perfect. 18 Year Old Me got it.

#the world in deeper inspection #art #comics #webcomics

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sea-of-dust · 9 months ago

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Ranpo,Chuuya,Atsushi x M!Reader

My hand slipped while I was doing math homework and i accidentally wrote this. This is my first time writing for a male reader I'm sure I'll be fine (this is going to be worse than my math grades)

Warnings: mentions of alcohol, mentions of bruising,death implications,might be a lil ooc I haven't watched bsd in a hot minute

Oh? You have sweets? Are able to bake?? What's that, you're able to spoil him? Yea, he's imagining how to rizz you up before you two were ever dating. "Y/n thinks you're cool" "really?" He lights up at the mention of you "he does think you're kinda werid tho" he pouts disapointedly, will be whining about this

You're like another piece of candy! You're not escaping him. You thought you were allowed to leave? No. "Y/n we need you on this" "alright" "I should go too" he raises his hand popping another candy into his mouth "he can solve this himself" "well I can make it so they're right back here in secounds" "whenever I go out with you the minimums like 3 hours" you cringe remembering the holes he digs into your wallet. "That's irrelevant!"

If you ever did manage a task alone, he'd be annoyed for the rest of the day, so annoyed he actually opens his eyes to glare at people. "30 minutes" "would have been a few secounds if you took me with you" you sigh kissing his forehead "I'm sorry I didn't bring you it would have been too boring for a great detective like you" he proudly huffs "well it would have been fine since it would be with you" will make you tell him how it went and it'll always end with him saying "I knew it! This is why you should bring me"

He does get hurt sometimes, but when he does, it's just a small scab at most. Never the less you still treat him. "Don't give me the teddy bear ones those are for babies!" "They fit you're aesthetic, though." "they do not!" Applying the bandage carefully, you watch him lift his pant leg higher to reveal another small bruise. "Are you serious?" "Well were already here" does like looking at your handiwork from time to time.

Wants you to stay up and tell him stories and is pretty understanding when you say you're too tired to. "Y/n! Are you up to read 12 angry men?" "Ranpo I'm heading straight to bed" you rub your eyes sluggishly, walking past him to change out of your clothes to something more comfortable. "Alright, but you owe me more pages than usual" "deal" he plops onto you as you cover yourself with the blanket. He doesn't even attempt to gain spoilers or read ahead if this happens. He really likes hearing your voice,trying to act out certain characters. He might even ask questions he knew the answer to just to hear more of you. "Wait, so why'd he agree?" "Because that guy's thinking about his son throughout the conversion by putting his past with his son behind him he accepts the fact the kid on trial isn't his son and shouldn't be found guilty" "he should've just agreed when everything else got debunked" "yea well sometimes stuff like that holds someone back"

"Do you like wine?" "No" "?!" How did you guys even date? Wait nevermind besides that wine thing, you're pretty great 10/10, not returning

He would use his ability to quite litterally sweep you off your feet. Feeling the sudden decrease in weight, you feel as if you're floating on air. "What the-" he casually grabs something out the fridge "that's the last one" "that's why I stopped you" sometimes he'd just leave you floating for an extra 5 secounds, gracefully hold your hands and and help you down. "Can't have you bursting your head open" "I was two feet off the ground" he sighs, you pull him close kissing his cheek "thank you for saving my fall Chuuya" and that's why he does it often

He does get a bit cranky, but it's usually when he has a bad day. He likes bad days if you're at the end of them, though. You'd always let him sleep somewhere or stay up and watch you try to open wine for him and fail or succeed. "Finally!!" You popped open the bottle with the Cork flying out. "Wait, where'd it go-" hearing a small thud, you see the cork crack the floor due to its sudden change of what seems to be weight. "There's a tool for that." he pulls out the drawer and shows you it nonchalantly, "but that was kinda impressive"

"I wanna get a dog" "we should get married." The guy would be on the brink of tears. A dog? And you two are living together? He's gonna love that dog. Unfortunately, that dog mostly followed you around. It likes him, but the millisecond you're there that dog lays with you,sleeps with you, he's starting to get jealous of both you and the dog! You still catch him petting it going. "You're so fluffy! Who's a good boy who's a good-" the dog sees you and walks toward you it's tail wagging .How are you fluffy?" There'd be such a defeated look on his face

Definitely would be judgemental and then do some strange shit. You'd catch him dancing in the halls? Nothing to see here, only him getting slightly upset you didn't say anything. Pulling out every product known to man to bathe the dog, it's pretty adorable. You still don't say a thing, only smiling when you see it, still a bit annoyed you didn't say anything As soon as he catches you posing with his clothes...he's flattered time to make fun of you. "What are you doing" you turn around smoothly "Why I'm Chuuya Nakahara of the port mafia" you moon walk over to him "that is not how I introduce myself" "yea you introduce yourself by trying to show off your taste in wine to someone that hates it" "you worked at a liquor store!" "I dont have to drink wine to work there" you take off his coat to put it back, but he quickly slides it back on "keep it on for a while I wanna savor this"

You taught him what a flash game is. "OK so then this guy wants uhhh" "oh my god its Wally" "WHERE" unironcally so emerged in papa's games its aggressively odvious you two aren't working, you're are lucky you specialize in speedrunning paper work the secound half of the work days basically just you two getting bullied by the food critic

He's pretty shy for a lover infact when you start dating, he still feels like a friend more than a boyfriend. So when you ask him out, expect him to hide away somewhere nervous he might say something werid, he'll suck it up for you though! He's got this! It's just a museum! He can- you held his hand, and his confidence is down the drain. How he managed to keep composed is a miracle. Surprisingly for him, he didn't do anything he'd think would embarrass him in the future. He's definitely gonna ask to go on more dates in the future.

You try to help him with tiger matenence. Including getting loads of dirt out of his paws and even splinters sometimes "Alright ready" "I never will be for AH-" he winces pulling away, but you hold out his arm "you're fine lemme put on a bandaid" they do feel nice after you clean then though a bit numb

Attempting to teach him games will get him to teach Kyōka. "Y/n would you like to play quack diddly oso ?" "You know how to play that? I thought it was too old" "Atsushi taught me" you decide to ask him about it. He would get a bit embrassed, his mind racing about what you'd do or say. "Maybe I should try and teach her numbers too" he sighs in relief leaving you a bit confused but you infact did teach her numbers, a horrible day for Ranpo in particular as she and you easily beat your record of 57 with him. You didn't need her approval for dating Atsushi, but you still got it because of some children's games

You wouldn't be surprised by how mushy he could get. He'd overthink about the dangers you two face being apart of the Ada. He'd get trembaly grabbing onto your hands for their warmth. "I'll be fine. I'm more worried for you" "But what if you get hurt cause of me!" "I gladly will" "That's the issue!" He grabs your shoulders."What if you-" "Then yosano will take care of me" You pull him close, letting him calm down. "You're hopeless." "I won't regret a thing"

#x reader #male reader #fluff #ranpo edogawa #bsd ranpo #ranpo x reader #bungou stray dogs #bsd atsushi #bsd chuuya #atsushi x reader #chuuya nakahara #chuuya x reader

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zzencat · 4 months ago

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Some of my own Tarot observations + interpretations so far (outside of their universal meanings):

Note: NOT IN ORDER and does not include all cards; these are some of my outside-the-box interpretations. Some 18+ mentions. Mostly made as a list for me to keep in mind; feel free to keep or refer to

Will be updated sometimes

Last updated: Dec 2, 2024

Queen of Swords: sharp tongue, head over heart (naturally unbiased, yet still neutral and self-defensive); will come to your defense if she trusts you and what your argument is; very logical; feminine energy/figure mentor; sad but wise

Queen of Cups: expects reciprocation; very emotionally in tune and intuitive; can be emotionally manipulative/toxic; takes others’ emotional burdens as their own;

The Star: inspiration, young at heart, unforgettable impression; status of celebrity/public recognition

3 of cups: cheating (in romantic relationship); a feeling or person that doesn’t belong; “3 is a crowd”

The Hermit: urging to taking a “step” in an unknown direction (there’s only so much you could light up with the lamp), either a step into the inner depths of your character, mind, and soul, or a step forward in a life/daily choice

4 of wands: can symbolize moving somewhere else; stability; complacency; emotional satisfaction where you are/what you have done so far

4 (in general) - stability, contemplation, stagnation, defensive/defending (a person/situation/establishment/achievement/foundation), conservation

Numbers 5 and 7 - “pit stops” in my definition ,, 5 being first big blockage, and 7 being the extra doubt when things are going a lil too good

4 of pentacles: doing too much/too little; selfish; frugal/strict with money

2 of Cups: dating stage (not necessarily love, but potential for it), mature connection (potential for emotional, physical, and intellectual connection)

The Devil: can escape from situation but mentally/emotionally/physically bound/blinded; feeling full-on horny; engaging in sexual behavior/activities; being in an oppressive relationship or state of mind; abuse; depression/sadness, dealing with things in an unhealthy way; overindulgence

The Sun rx: not getting enough sun/not going outside enough, introversion; loss of youth; vulnerable — too vulnerable that you’re stripped dry and will disintegrate (lowkey pitiful)

The Chariot: maturity; knowing what you can handle and what you can’t/knowing your limits; ego mask (trying to appear stronger than you are/hiding a weaker counterpart); taking matters into your own hands; deciding which path to take (w/ decent amount of confidence)

The Hanged Man: seeing things from a different/uncomfortable perspective; boredom; laziness; masochism; inner peace with your uniqueness/difference (within society); example��think: L from Death Note

2 of swords: you alr know what the answer is/what to do so stop contemplating; taking a shot in the dark; challenging yourself or not really trying

The Tower: Self sabotage, erections, orgasms, tension building up that you didn’t realize was going to be released at some point; sudden disaster; can symbolize hope/optimism for change or in the midst of it

Ace of swords: erections, forming an idea (good or bad); complete truth; intellectual ass person; a revelation/HUGE change in the way of thinking/a reveal;

Page of swords: “I have an idea!” - but it’s from a kid so it comes off as cute and immature (underdeveloped idea/not to be taken seriously yet); curious; stalking/spying

Page of Wands: “I guess this is where we split, huh? It’s a shame, but I’ll see you at some point!”; doing things for the fun of it; noncommittal/spontaneous; bored easily

10 of swords (aside from backstabs and cutting things off, end of a cycle): sooooo done n tired with life and everything; sadder but stronger; eyebags; a clearly depressed person; the end to certain thinking cycles/patterns

9 of Swords: “this shit keeps me awake at night…”; reminding you of an event you need to do or get over with

6 of Swords: a quiet (spiritual or physical) passage to a better state of mind/place/being; a new, safer chapter

7 of Swords: pranks, avoidance/slipping away/trying to quietly escape (from an issue, from the public, from attention, from a public event) ; doing something for your own benefit at the expense of others; doing something dumb for no reason/gain; not asking for help when you totally can; cowardice

• The Moon (tmi but this is my least fav card in tarot 😂): confusion, “you don’t need to know that rn,” “how is this relevant to your life?”, “not any of your concern,” “it’s a secret” (Ted: this is my “stop asking abt it already” card); waxing and waning; deep and intense feelings; period/menstrual cycle; telling you to face you inner fears and demons or they’ll get worse

• The Moon + The high priestess? Period/menstruating; also associates with very heightened intuition or senses

2 of pentacles: hot and cold behavior, juggling life, duality in personality

Hanged man, 8 of swords, the devil: pretty much the same when talking abt stagnant energy [you have completely power to leave and improve your situation, but ya ain’t bc of your own self (mentally/emotionally)]; purposely trapping yourself in that state and playing victim; masochistic tendencies (in sex as well); clearly in an oppressive state but still stays in it; bondage (in sex as well)

5 of wands: instigator, paying attention to the lesser of two evils, someone who easily gets into fights/argumentative but can’t see the bigger picture

Wheel of fortune, 2 of wands, the chariot: make a decision even if you think it’s the wrong path or direction; the worst thing you can do is stop/be in stagnancy

Judgment: playing by your own tune, reflection, needing to change up old ways; the ability to adapt/adjust well despite going through adversity or hardship; can also mean sexually arousing

Justice: good or bad karma, not getting what you deserve, being too harsh on oneself/strict; working in the justice system

High priestess + the chariot + temperance (+ maybe the moon): when in the same reading, it can signify movement between realms (I just observed this in recent readings so I’d need to get more info); being at an interface or point of equilibrium

High Priestess: seeing things people can’t normally see; a state between the 3D and 5D; secrecy

7 of cups (I’ve officially defined this one a while ago and am 99% sure it represents at least one of these whenever it shows up): frustration; impatience; idleness; procrastination; confusion; many things offered to you; not knowing what to do next (HOWEVER a big nuance between 7 of cups and 4 of cups, is that 7oC is more…“active” energy, like more…emotionally charged in frustration than 4oC. 4oC is more bordering indifference when waiting for things to play out or waiting for more to come in before you make a decision…waiting for the “right” moment. 7oC is like you’re gonna choose one of the options while you have them—you just don’t know what to do/choose or which way to go); telling you to develop better discernment; deciding whether or not this will serve you long term (emotionally or in general)

King of cups: being emotionally receptive and kindhearted but also naive—not as emotionally intelligent or intuitive as the Queen of cups tho

4 of cups: shit waiting on the back burner but querent/subject is purposely tuning them out (slightly more in depth under the 7oC bullet point); stalling bc you keep trying to have hope a better outcome will surface

Queen of wands: willing to get hands dirty to get what you want, spontaneous/moving without plan

Wheel of Fortune: having to adjust; “really depends on what you’re gonna do next” (Ted: I often get this card when I read for myself in the present- I take it as “up to you/your choice”)

Queen of pentacles: smart, practical, organized (more so than the other queens)

The Lovers: primal desire for the other (romantic or platonic); seeking validation (presumably one feels less/“more naked” in the face of the other); taking you “out of yourself”; deliberately putting yourself in a vulnerable position even if you lose yourself in the process; quality you desire to have within yourself (may cause unhealthy behaviors/thinking patterns); connection with your counterpart (meaning also your relationship with yourself); mind, body, and soul connection (own personal holy self trinity)

Blindfolds: easily cut/removed -> answer/preferred direction or method is right in front of you, but you’re choosing not to see it or do it

8 of swords: (in a courtroom example) the defendant is the person trapped in the swords — the swords in this case would be the people’s opinions of the person or their own thoughts (any of which are in the form of ideas that are projected and trap the defendant inside that “cage”)

7 of wands: too much responsibility on querent/subject; a bit defensive/on guard (not as much as 9 of wands tho)

9 of pentacles: having time to relax and do what you want like hobbies or hitting people up; spoiled (rich background); living in luxury so you don’t have to worry about other things

5 of pentacles: mental illness or declining mental health (when you could get help right around the corner); being physically sick; refusing to ask for help; being shut out from help from big institutions/organizations

3 of swords: depression (apparent or underlying); deep sorrow; unfulfilled emotional desires; being on your period

TBA

Extras:

From what I’ve observed and tested out, Tarot reading picks up on energies at the current millisecond — energies are more fluid than time and change every single second — cards will pick up on the overwhelming majority of where the energy is (assuming the tarot reader is at a balanced and unbiased state of mind). You could be happy one minute, sad the next (maybe moodiness problems)

Cards will pick up on future spouse qualities that you dream of yours having (or fantasize about) and not necessarily always your real future spouse

Sometimes the cards “don’t answer” your question. The cards that come out are what you’re supposed to be focusing on/fixing instead

—————————-

Things to note when reading with the Celtic Cross:

The 9th card will usually dominate the whole reading along with the basis (3rd card)

The 4th card indicates not only past event/influence(s) fizzing out but also past things/people that have affected you and your behavior to this day (the “old” basis)

The basis/foundation position (card 3) is a mindset card too- mindset is to be considered when you wonder how the outcome came to be

The final outcome (card 10) shows the likeliest possibility, whereas the possible outcome (card 5) shows an alternative OR an extension of what happens AFTER the outcome

1st card can represent you/person/situation/subject but if you’re doing a reading FOR someone else, the court card in this position can indicate them or a person in their lives they haven’t mentioned yet (that have influence on them, hence driving their actions/mindset)

TBA

#tarot notes #teddytalk over n out #tarot observations #teddy tarot dictionary

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puffyducks · 2 months ago

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DCRC Week #20 (Part 1)

Guys how has it already been 20 whole weeks time isn't real. Anyways speaking of, we're reading PKNA #16: Extraordinary Repairs which is a huge deal cause it means that after waiting 20 whole weeks I CAN FINALLY DOXX CAMERA 9'S FULL LEGAL NAME AND ADDRESS!!! IT'S S-

Okay FINE I guess I'll wait to say his name until we actually get to the right part in this post. And idk why I've even prevented myself from saying his real name in front of my friends that are going through this series for the first time cause it's not even like a secret or revelation, they literally tell you his name at the end of Day of the Cold Sun in his character sheet, but nobody reading the English fan translations would know that because nobody has uploaded translated versions of the character sheets (yet...) ANYWAYS

Just as a heads up to anyone who is reading this comic for the first time, the English translating here is a little scuffed (I assume whoever translated this chapter wasn't a native English speaker) so there are occasional grammatical mistakes but nothing too severe that it limits the effect of the story!

Angus I can PROMISE you do not want to start doing research into Everett Ducklair, do you know how many fuckin doomsday weapons he kept "accidentally" making??? You don't want the smoke.

What kind of fucking idiot steps into an elevator shaft without stopping to see if the elevator is ACTUALLY THERE omfg I hope he hits the bottom and dies

GUYS HE SAID THE- HE SAID THE TITLE OF THE CHAPTER!!!

ALSO HDL MENTION 🔥🔥🔥

guys.... there he is.... the man of the hour

shoutout to the way the other guy is drawn in this panel btw (his ears fell off I guess)

OHOHOHO TRENCHCOAT REVEAL!!! GUYS I AM GIDDY AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I JUST THINK HE'S NEAT

HE SAID THE THING

why he ourple

OHHH YEAHHH IT'S YA BOI STEFAN MOTHAFUCKIN VLADUCK!!! Who appears to be constantly having a series of PTSD-related war flashbacks but ummm let's not worry about that right now

It's really interesting to me that Donald is a fan of Stefan's work. I mean media was obviously different in the 90s but still, when's the last time you heard someone bring up their favorite photographer? Either Stefan is FAMOUS famous or Donald is one of like 10 people that like to read the credits under newspaper photos.

This panel makes me laugh cause out of context it looks like Stefan is running away from PK (on account of his huge torn up fucking evil looking cape) bro is literally FNAF 2 jumpscaring at him

I FUCKING TOLD YOU

Coolest character design of all time (literally just a duck in a trenchcoat)

What have you seen WHAT HAVE YOU SEEN. 200 page comic docuseries covering all of Stefan's horrifying past experiences NOW!!!!!

You're telling me Ducklair was in his basement building fuckin DINOSAURS??.... ok I can't lie that's cool as fuck good for him

So close except actually not close at all. Granted PK does hang out in Ducklair Tower all the time, but it's not like Angus knows that 😭

Love how much this laser gun just looks like a regular pistol

Me reading poorly written analysis posts of DT17 sorry

I love evil fucked up PK can we keep him like this actually

PAPERINIK MURDERS ANGUS FANGUS IN COLD BLOOD (REAL)

Nvm we just gave him a concussion. also hi Stefan 👋

Also we drugged him. Y'know just for good measure!

NO FUCKING WAY YOU GUYS EYEBALL REVEAL 🔥🔥🔥 HE HAS GREEN EYES. or at least one green eye... I guess he could have heterochromia or something whatever

btw this is the most we'll ever see of his face so SOAK IT IN FOLKS (at least, the most we'll see in PKNA, there's like one singular comic from 2016 that shows his entire face if you're curious. You can just google his name and the photos will come up.)

SHOUTOUT TO THE LITTLE CAMERA 9 END HERE IT'S SO SILLY.

I love this issue, Camera 9/Stefan is probably one of my favorite characters. He's just fuckin cool man idk what to tell you. He's fairly inconsequential in the grand scheme of things but I like having him around, he's a fun character to add as a little bit of flavor to a series with so many ongoing narratives. I do wanna highlight this bit of text from the bottom of his Paperpedia page (which has been auto-translated from Italian and might be a bit off):

I'm so incredibly intrigued by the analysis here because, if true, I wanna know whose idea it was to start referencing classical Luigi Pirandello literature in a Donald Duck comic. I'm not saying I don't want my duck comics to have commentary on media sensationalism and alienation, but I am saying that it's certainly unexpected. Still a welcome topic!

I used most of my image limit covering the main comic so I won't be able to add a lot about the bonus comic but I will say: WAHHH WAHHHH THIS IS THE LAST TRIP COMIC 😭😭😭 at least for a while anyways. There are the Trip's Strip comics but I haven't seen anyone translate those into English and they also start at like chapter 40 so

Is the Raider just fucking allergic to dressing normally like what's going on here. Also HAHA TRIP THOUGHT HIS DAD DIDN'T COME TO THE GAME BUT HE WAS ACTUALLY WATCHING THE WHOLE TIME, EVERYONE POINT AND LAUGH 🫵 YOUR DAD LOVES YOU HAHAHA LOSER

Goodbye Trip, my sweet summer child... my child who sucks so fucking bad. He's the worst I'm gonna miss him. And ummm see you later with more spooky Carl Barks!

#dcrc #dcrc week 20 #paperinik

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drabblesandimagines · 2 years ago

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Kitty (part 10)

Parts 1-9 here. Rei x (afab) reader Warnings: Bit of vulgar language ahead

Rei parks the obscenely yellow car at the gates, the security raising an eyebrow at the vibrant colour as the Suwa heir is revealed to be the driver. They were expecting him, so not long after he shuts the car door, the heavy iron gates buzz and slide open to permit him entry, revealing the grand walk up to the manor. It’s the last defense of the Suwa household, guard posts nestled in between the trees the whole way up to the imposing building he once called home. He keeps a solid pace as he walks, his face expressionless. He soon reaches the porch, strides up the steps and enters through the unlocked front doors, not surprised to find the ground floor empty at this early hour. He ascends the stairs, slowly, his heart keeping rhythm with his footsteps as he walks on autopilot to the Boss’ study.

He pauses at the door, raps his knuckles against the heavy wood twice, and enters. The Boss is sat at his desk, as usual, a pile of folders over to his right-hand side. He’ll be divvying out assignments this morning, it seems. Perhaps this is what this is about.

“Morning, Boss.” Rei bows his head in a forced show of respect.

The man continues to write, not acknowledging his son’s presence until he concludes his paperwork.

He looks up at last, “You look well.” He lays down his fountain pen, laces his fingers under his chin.

“And you.”

The two men stare at each for a moment, before Boss breaks it with what sounds suspiciously like a chuckle. Rei has never heard his father laugh before.

“I must admit, I didn’t think you had it in you, Rei. Didn’t believe it when I was first told. Not my son, not the heir to the illustrious Suwa clan.” Rei doesn’t respond. There’s a horrible feeling growing in his stomach. His father frisbees a file towards his legs – déjà vu from the last time he was here, certainly. He unconsciously held a breath as he bent down and opened it. Inside, there’s a single page document and two photographs. The photographs are of both you and him, walking along the riverbank, one with you holding hands, the other without. It’s the day you went to Kyu’s. The document holds little to no information, the name, occupation, family history and background information fields are all blank. The only real information is a detailed physical description, and a guess of your age. Maybe in other circumstances he’d feel relieved, that they didn’t know anything about you, but what little information he sees now is enough to shake him to his core.

“No name, age, family lineage. Unimportant. You can understand why I would struggle to see why my son, my bloodline would be interested in such an insignificant peasant. Ogino, though…” Rei lifts his eyes, slowly, from the folder to his father once more. He can’t stare at it for too long, he can’t react, can’t show emotion and especially around the mention of Ogino. “Well, he recognized her as that traitor Aktomi’s house whore. He was your hit, wasn’t it?”

“Yes, Boss.” He wants to so badly defend your honour - you weren’t that at all – but maybe this could be a saving grace.

“I thought, perhaps, you’d taken her for your own pleasure, but that doesn’t explain this inane display of affection.” The Boss removes his laced fingers from beneath his chin, leans back in his chair and cracks his knuckles. “Did you think I’d permit you a bride of your choice when it came to expanding the Suwa bloodline? Your offspring will go on to run this Organization. The mother needs to be worthy of that honour. Your nameless woman, you don’t even know if she’s of good breeding stock. Tell me, have you already had a go?”

Rei can feel the anger bubble away in his stomach at the way his father is speaking about you – kind, gentle, sweet you – in such vulgar terms, but he can’t let it show and he won’t. It’s too dangerous. This is what he’s trained for.

“No.” He looks up, his tone firm.

“Then what is the meaning of this?”

He has to play this carefully, even if the words will leave a bitter taste in his mouth. “Aktomi didn’t even break her in. Timid, submissive little thing – said she’d be our maid if we spared her. I thought it would be entertaining. I’ve been toying with her but, as you say, she’s not worthy of the Suwa clan. I’ve grown bored since this image was taken.”

Boss drums his fingers on the desk in thought, before a smile creeps across his face. “I gave you time to tie up your affairs, Rei, and this is what you’ve chosen to do with it? My, maybe living away has had a positive influence on you after all. You have until the New Year to return home to learn how to run the Organization. I’ll remind you again how generous I have been with you with this extended absence.”

“Yes, Boss. I appreciate your patience. Thank you.” He walks forward, places the folder containing the little information on his father’s desk and bows his head respectfully, before turning and exiting the study, closing the door softly behind him. Although calm and collected on the outside, Rei’s stomach is swirling as he heads along the hallway and back down the grand staircase. The photograph of his mentor’s wife is vivid in his mind, except now where her face was, all he can see is yours. He can’t allow that to happen, not to you…

“Hello, again.” Ogino is on a bench in the foyer, flipping through his beloved notebook. “Back again so soon?”

Rei doesn’t reply, he keeps on walking towards the main door. One step in front of the other, repeat that, keep calm. He wants to get home, he needs to get home to see you. His hand is on the door handle…

“Tell me,” the notebook slaps shut, “Does she remember who she is yet? I’ve been thinking, in case she comes up for a hit - do I really want to sacrifice a space in my book for a stupid bitch who doesn’t remember her own name?”

Rei’s grip tightens on the handle.

“If I do, do you think I’ll fill the whole page with her s-s-s-stuttered last words?” He mocks.

Rei meets his eyes, but Ogino’s face remains blank. He can’t do anything, he shouldn’t do anything, not here in this house and especially under his Boss’ watch. It’ll only put you in danger, that is as if you’re not already. He jerks the handle down and pulls the door open, leaving with composure, his hands down by his sides though it takes everything in them not to clench them. He wants to run back to the car, but he can’t. He can’t let them know they’ve rattled him.

The walk back down to the main gates is painfully slow, although Rei knows he’s a fast walker. He gets in the car and drives, being careful not to speed away but he does go some distance before he eventually pulls over by the side of the road. He rips his gloves off before loosening the tie from around his neck in the hope it will help him breathe, unbuttoning his shirt a little. It’s only a moment or so later when his phone rings. He knows it’ll be Kazuki. The blonde would have tracked his phone and kept an eye on his movements as soon as he discovered the note.

He accepts the call, wordlessly.

“You okay?”

“Fine.” He’s anything but fine, but he doesn’t want Kazuki to know he’s scared.

“If you say so… Anyway,” Kazuki sighs, “Miri was in a terrible mood this morning when she found out Misaki had left without saying goodbye. Not even that chocolate cereal could cheer her up. Wouldn’t let me take her to daycare either, insisted it had to be Kitty. Not sure why she’s off the hook…”

“Mm.”

“So, are you heading back now? Kyu rang a short while ago - wants to see us.”

It’s rare that Kyu requests them both. “Can’t you go on your own?”

“Nah, he said he needs to see the both of us. Do you want to just meet me there?”

“Fine.” He grunts, thinking for a moment. “Bring Kitty.”

“He said just us…”

“Bring Kitty.” He repeats, looking at the bag holding his clothes in the back seat. He wants out of the suit right now.

“Is everything okay?”

Rei pulls his hair free from its tie, shaking his head to settle it back in its regular position. “Kazuki… please.”

“Okay. We’ll see you there, bud.”

He hangs up, gets out of the car and into the backseat, ridding himself of his suit and back into his jeans, t-shirt and jacket. The tightness in his chest, however, doesn’t subside.

There’s been an odd energy in the apartment that morning, though understandable given the events of last night. Rei’s vanished on an errand and Miri is in a terribly bad mood upon discovering Misaki left without bidding her farewell, or when they would see each other again. She seems to be placing the blame solely on Kazuki and you feel awful for the blonde, as he replies to her curt statements with loving, reassuring words. Miri insists you take her to daycare and when you try and suggest gently that the three of you go together, it feels like you can see Kazuki’s heart break in front of you when she emphasizes that it can only be you.

Although you’re feeling better, Kazuki insists your temperature is checked with the thermometer first before he’d let you take her, gently reminding Miri that you hadn’t been well yesterday, after all. Your temperature is back to normal and you half-wonder if Kazuki would lie and say you were still feverish, so he could use the walk to daycare to try and soothe Miri, but he’s honest and waves the two of you off, plastering a smile on.

The little girl is unusually quiet on the walk to daycare, despite your best efforts to engage her in a little conversation. When you’re near the daycare, she spots her friends in the playground and seems to perk up a little, even asking when Papa Rei will be back.

“L-later,” you reply, thinking back on the note.

You barely get a step back into the apartment, not even bent down to take your shoes off when Kazuki’s voice calls through.

“Kitty, leave your shoes on – we’re going out.” Kazuki steps into sight – his jacket’s already on, a bag over his shoulder, like he’s just been waiting for you to return.

“O-out?”

“Yeah, need to go see Kyu. Spoke to Rei, he’s going to meet us there.” He explains, walking over and stepping down to slip his shoes on. “Did Miri cheer up any?”

“No,” you shake your head. “I t-think she’ll c-cheer up after a d-day with her f-friends, though.” You think back to her smile when she’d seen them, waving her over to come play. Their company will be a good distraction.

“Yeah, I hope so.” He sighs, and then offers you a bright smile – for whose benefit is unclear. “Right, let’s go.”

Kazuki tells you what was said between the three of them last night – practically the same information that Rei had divulged but a little more fleshed out. As with Rei, you wish you knew what advice to offer, or the right words to say but at most you manage stuttered sympathetic phrases. You know Miri adores her papas and her mama, maybe they could all somehow live peacefully? But the fact she raised their professions seems like that won’t be possible.

Kazuki holds the door open for you as you enter the café and Kyu greets the two of you immediately, the establishment void of any other customers, although he does seem a little surprised by your presence. “Kitty, Kazuki…” He nods. “Ah, you’ve cut your hair. Looks nice.”

You nod in thanks.

“No Rei?”

“He’s on his way. Tea for me, please. Kitty, a coffee?”

“Y-yes, please.”

“Coming right up,” Kyu replies, but there’s an unasked question on his tongue. Kazuki nods at him, before his hand is on your lower back and he ushers you to the same booth that you and Rei had shared a week or so ago. He places his bag down on the table and begins to withdraw his laptop and some headphones.

“We need to talk some business. Kyu’s a little… secretive,” he explains, opening up his laptop and navigating to a folder. “It shouldn’t take that long, but I didn’t want you to be bored, so I downloaded that spy show from the beginning for you to catch up on!”

He loads up the video and plugs in the headphones, offering them to you. You don’t understand, really – you didn’t need to come with him, after all. You could’ve stayed in the apartment. But you don’t question – he’s got dark rings around his eyes and maybe he didn’t sleep well. He’s already upset enough, don’t pester him with unnecessary questions. Maybe he just wanted the company on the walk?

You take the headphones. “Okay. T-t-thanks, Zuki.”

He smiles, presses play and heads back to the counter. You pop in the headphones and listen to the opening theme. Not long after, Kyu comes over with your coffee, placing it down gently in front of you and you offer a polite smile as he does so.

You’re about a third of the way through when you see Rei enter the establishment. He looks at Kazuki and Kyu at the counter before his eyes scan the rest of the café, settling on you sat at the back. He smiles, though you swear you see him sag a little as he does so, but you smile in return, offering a little wave. He sits down at the counter besides Kazuki.

A loud explosion rings through the headphones, amping up the drama.

“If you want them both safe, you’ll understand why they can’t stay with you any longer. That’s why I called Miri’s mother and…” Kyu slides over an envelope. “..this is what I suggest for Kitty.”

Kazuki goes to push the envelope away outright, but Rei’s hand is on it before he can do so.

“Rei…”

“I’ve been foolish.” He replies, curtly, sliding a finger under the seal and removing the piece of paper within. His eyes scan it quickly. “Seems reasonable.”

“I’m glad you agree.” Kyu nods.

“What seems reasonable?” Kazuki snatches it out of his hands. “A refuge?”

“Kitty will be safe there and will get the help she needs. I thought it was bad enough you guys taking in a kid, but she’s clearly a traumatized young woman. It’s highly reviewed. I’ve made inquiries already – they have a space for her and I can take her there.”

“Rei, you can’t really want this. I thought you liked her…” Kazuki protests. He’d been encouraging his partner to go for it, so why is he now trying to make such a drastic move?

“I do like her.” He snaps back, before rubbing his temples.

“Then why send her away?” He spits out, tempers flaring.

“My father.”

Kazuki’s eyes widen in realization. “Is that what he wanted this morning?” He turns to Kyu. “Is she a hit?”

“No. I’ve not received any materials to suggest as such, I was only informed of the photos of the field day recently.” Kyu shrugs. “I made inquiries for Kitty the same time I reached out to Miri’s mother – I like to be prepared.”

“She’s not a hit yet,” Rei corrects. “I said some things to the Boss that I will never repeat, and he seemed satisfied with my answers, but Kitty can’t stay with us anymore. Not unless we keep her in the apartment, which makes us as bad as that bastard before.” He looks at Kyu. “How soon can you take her?”

“Tomorrow morning soon enough?”

He looks at Kazuki, who is flabbergasted. Can Rei so easily turn his emotions off? Of course he can – he does it on the job, frequently, but he thought Miri and you had begun to change that.

The blonde looks over his shoulder at you, but you’re far too engrossed in the drama to notice. There’s a smile on your face as you watch and his heart sinks as he faces the truth he’s been hiding from. Sure, they’ve made things work so far but Kyu is right - how can they sit and play happy families under the circumstances of how the four of you have come to be together? They’re both stone-cold killers, you and Miri have fallen into their lives accidentally. It wasn’t right to put either of you at risk anymore.

“We don’t tell them.” Kazuki mutters. “Either of them. We have a nice evening all together, okay? Kitty tomorrow, Miri the next.”

Rei grunts, swallowing down the lump in his throat. Swallowing down his emotions, just as he was taught.

-- Don't hate me x EDIT: Part 11.

#ghostdogwrites #buddy daddies #buddy daddies fanfic #rei suwa x reader #suwa rei x reader #rei suwa x you #suwa rei x you #kazuki kurusu

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tacagen · 1 year ago

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rating thawne's deaths on a 10 point scale

snapped neck: 6/10. ok. not good, not bad, well-deserved, timeless, impactful. i love the way thawne is still complaining about that one though.

flashpoint: 9/10. imagine becoming a living paradox and proceeding to rant about how your speedster nemesis cant hurt you now (very normal way to put it btw.) only to be pierced by a fucking sword. dumb and classic, all good here.

the button: 100/10 THE DUMBEST DEATH OF THEM ALL AND MY ALL TIME FAVORITE. also a classic, imagine being told multiple times that youre going to die and fucking carry on like youre the Smartest here and nothing could ever happen to you and actually ima adopt you barry. thawne's character at its finest.

running scared: 8/10. not bad. ironic last words and 'on my life i swear' about the promise he intended to break all along. once again, dead because he couldnt shut the fuck up and look around him. iris, my beautiful tired of thawne's shit queen, I STAN.

the flash cw season 1: 5/10. dont remember it much asides from being totally pointless as it has 0 effect on thawne's existence further and our beloved Genius of Time Travel, who can Calculate Every Single Timeline Consequence To His Actions revealing his fucking name to his ancestor and bullying him into murder by suicide.

legends of tomorrow season 2: 10/10. love this one. top 10 reverse-flash moments. my dude got together like 15 other versions of himself for each to do practically fucking nothing other than to group pose and die. an honorable mention: poor black flash who got called a monster just for trying to do his timeline protection job and who endured all of thawne's shit only for it to turn out completely pointless as well. then again if you think about it, everything that happens in cw is pointless.

the flash cw season 6: 2/10. does that even count as a death. makes zero fucking sense. 2 points only for thawne being a total loser and resembling negaduck's 'crisis on infinite darkwings' death.

suicude squad: hell to pay: 10/10. i gave this 10 points already just for his last words 'fuck my life'. again, DOESNT KNOW HOW TO SHUT THE FUCK UP WHICH GETS HIM KILLED. thawne believing in the afterlife in the first place feels out of character to me though.

finish line: 0/10. it was very hard to waste a character like that without even realizing it AFTER WRITING HIM WITH SUCH A DEEP UNDERSTANDING BEFORE but you've done it, williamson ⭐

legends of tomorrow season 7: 7/10. very balanced death, little bit of thawne having zero fucking braincells, little bit of meaning. not even complaining about the concept, silly little domesticated rat doing his silly little job of preserving the timeline. i approve.

jurassic league: 10/10. first i suggest we just stop and think for a moment about the fact that we got a DINOSAUR THAWNE in a list of deaths. second THIS PREHISTORIC DUMPLING GOT FUCKING EATEN. third insert an extinction pun. perfect understanding of thawne being a fucking joke of a character and meme potential.

flashpoint beyond: 12/10. did NOTHING in the plot. meant NOTHING for the plot. just spawned as a corpse and looked pretty in the morgue (10 points already purely for The Page) and i respect that. 1 more point for the button encore and another to martha wayne. thank you for your service queen, we'll never forget your impact on this one.

knight terrors: the flash: 8/10. this mf lasted exactly 3 pages. neat but a bit sad if you think about it. not only got killed unprovokedly but his precious museum he just tried to protect got damaged as well. didnt even get to finish neither the tour or his point about barry not being able to wake up (again, only tried to help in a way by that?). also i like the way he's once again a creation of barry's subconsciousness acting suspiciously fruity.

#feel free to make this into a challenge lmao #its a full list of his deaths btw with the little exception of fp paradox and whatever might have happened in cw after straightwashing #if its not. please let me know bc i Have To review them all #eobard thawne #reverse flash #professor zoom #the flash #the flash cw #legends of tomorrow

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okaystoptellingmetomakeanaccount · 2 months ago

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Top 10 Diamond Dick comics?

1. Old Castle’s Secret. This is the only one where we see Dick’s handsomeness physically, which makes it instantly the best Dick story.

2. Only A Poor Old Man. Listen to em brag

3. Il doppio segreto di Macchia Nera. A very good spy thriller that just gets a little bit taken down by the appearance of Eega Beeva at the end.

4. Dick’s revenge. This story was never published, but Barks’ original concepts were found and his ideas to bring back the Dick and go deeper into his backstory were shown te be really profound. It’s only lower because it doesn’t exist.

5. The Midas Touch. The events of this story were actually set up by Diamond Dick as shown in the later story “Origins of a Witch”. Little things like Scrooge giving his dime to Magica so spontaneously were caused by Dick’s smart plan to put an antidose for the memory bettermaker into his cuppa coffee while being invisible. The entire story shows a very fun and smart and mischievous side to our Dick.

6. The Snowmen Robbers. Taking from the two Doctor Who serials: “The abominable Snowmen” and “The Snowmen”, known fan of referencing things Lars Jensen puts a spin on it by having Diamond Dick be the Snowmen in this recent story. Having cloned himself to be many, and also better invisible so his shadow even cannot be seen, he controls multiple Snowmen to rob the money bin. A great and creative story.

7. Amazing Fantasy #15. In this story we see a different side of Diamond Dick, where he takes a more heroic role and saves people. Being explained by taking place before the traumatic experiences in the last great time war that he had to undergo, this closer to his teenager years Dick is quite the amicable person. Great at showing a different side of our favorite comic book character, who has many layers.

8. Invisible Man. Writer Ralph Ellison takes a deep political intrigue into many facets of Dick’s life and the environment in which he lives. Showing real world dark sides to American society and its relations to racism. A very new and interesting take on Diamond Dick.

9. The Book Of The War. Being a documentation of the war times of Dick’s life, it shows a really profound, deep and profound look at the character’s life, showing him to be more than a one dimensional villain. It’s a really profound book, told in a non-lineair order to reflect Dick’s struggles to keep being himself. It’s the story where we’re shown how he meets the scientist from whom he will steal the potion with which he becomes the character we know today, and him getting so lost that he doesn’t know himself, and such decides to not become anymore and be invisible instead. The way it draws parallels with H. G. Wells’ “The time machine” are also marvelous. Furthermore, is it in general an excellent read that, even if it goes on detours to explore other characters that have been involved in Dick’s wartime-life, is still very much worth reading for its profound looks at these characters. A very deep and profound book.

10. Batman The Animated series: See no evil. This episode contains many sneaky references to show that the titular evil that shall not be seen, isn’t the only ‘invisible man’ in the story. Hints like the code 32194718902 which is shown on the floor barely readable in an alley scene. This being an obvious reference to the page count, creation year, and code of our number one greatest Dick story of all time, Old Castle’s Secret (The). Or, one of the places the characters vist being Edinburgh, which is a reference to Prince Edward, Duke of Edinburgh, who shares a name with the French version of Sir Swamphole McDuck, whose armor first appeard in Old Castle’s Secret. (The). Pretty Leip, if you ask me. The scheme Dick concours up is amazingly deep and profound, and shows another look at him. The reveal that this takes place during his time in the war makes it even better, and explains how he even managed to turn up in Batman The Animated Series.

And now for some honorable mentions:

Uncle Scrooge And The Infinity Dime. The story of the ¢entury.

I hope you enjoyed my top 10 list. If you want more, you can give me money. This won’t do anything, but would make me richer, like Diamond Dick, *wink*.

#diamond dick #the double secret joke is the best ive ever made #diamond dick lore

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vulturejuice · 1 year ago

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[Image ID: A 13-panel comic which depicts two furry characters, a cougar and a stoat, in an argument about political lesbianism. It is coloured in the palette of the lesbian flag, with the cougar in pink colours and the stoat in orange colours. End ID]

This is a comic I made last December as a final project for a Communication and Sexuality class! It was super fun to get to use my OCs for a school project and the research for it was super interesting and meaningful to me as a lesbian myself.

A full transcript of the comic, as well as a list of citations, is available below the cut!

Transcript and image descriptions:

Panel 1: The cougar sits in a chair reading a book.

Panel 2: The cougar turns a page and the stoat enters the frame without the cougar noticing.

Panel 3: The stoat speaks very close to the cougar’s face, startling her. Stoat: “Whatcha readin’?” Cougar: GAH!

Panel 4: The cougar holds the book up to the camera, revealing the phrase “POLITICAL LESBIANISM” on its cover. The stoat looks at it with her hand on her chin. Cougar: Oh... I was just reading this book about POLITICAL LESBIANISM Stoat: Oh hm

Panel 5: The cougar reads from a stack of papers. The stoat puts her hand to her cheek and closes her eyes. A thought bubble comes from the stoat which depicts women standing in a circle holding hands while two men look on angrily. Stoat: That’s that thing from like the 80s, right? Where feminists thought all women should be lesbians? Cougar: Yeah, the Leeds Revolutionary Feminists put out a paper detailing as much in 1979.

Panel 6: The cougar shrugs, holding the papers out towards the stoat. The stoat grabs for them excitedly. Cougar: Basically, anyone who associated with men was the enemy! Stoat: Hey, sounds good to me! Who needs ‘em, right?

Panel 7: The cougar puts her hands on her hips and glares at the stoat. The stoat holds the papers and frowns. Cougar: Oh, come on! Gender essentialist much? Not to mention their focus on the penis as a tool of oppression... Where does that leave pre- and non-op trans women?

Panel 8: The stoat’s eyes widen and she points at the paper. The cougar throws up one hand in exasperation. Stoat: Wait! It says here that a political lesbian is a “woman-identified woman.” Shouldn’t that include trans women? Cougar: Not what that means!

Panel 9: The cougar turns to the camera and raises her finger in the air. She pulls a new stack of papers up from outside the panel. The stoat looks between the papers she is holding and the new papers in confusion. Cougar: In their 1970 manifesto, the Radicalesbians ask that women craft our own identities by relating to each other, not men’s ideas of what we should be. They’re not really talking about gender identity the way we do today.

Panel 10: The stoat puts her hands on her hips and throws her head back, holding her papers to her side. The cougar puts out her hands in protest, and the papers she’s holding fall. Stoat: Right. I guess you think everyone was transphobic back then. Cougar: Hey, I never said that!

Panel 11: The cougar lifts up a small record and smiles down at it. The stoat glares at it as she tucks her papers under her arm. Cougar: Take the radical feminist lesbian separatist music collective, Olivia Records! They supported and even bodily defended their trans sound engineer, Sandy Stone, when her role at the collective was questioned and she was threatened with transphobic violence.

Panel 12: The stoat crosses her arms and tries to interject. The cougar keeps talking as she throws the record away behind herself. Stoat: Sure, but- Cougar: No, it’s so-called gender critical feminists who spit in the face of trans women’s contributions to our rich lesbian history. Our love of women and rejection of prescribed sex roles is what brings us together - not out hatred of men!

Panel 13: The stoat turns away from the cougar in anger. The cougar smiles and puts a hand on the stoat’s corner. Stoat: Oh, whatever! I don’t want to talk about it anymore if you’re just going to tell me I’m wrong all the time. Cougar: Look at it this way... we’re just taking part in the storied lesbian tradition of pointless arguing!

Citations

Ahmed, S. (2016). An affinity of hammers. TSQ: Transgender Studies Quarterly, 3(1-2), 22-34. https://doi.org/10.1215/23289252-3334151

Enszer, J. R. (2016). “How to stop choking to death”: Rethinking lesbian separatism as a vibrant political theory and feminist practice. Journal of Lesbian Studies, 20(2), 180-196. https://doi.org/10.1080/10894160.2015.1083815

Love your enemy? The debate between heterosexual feminism and political lesbianism. (1981). Onlywomen Press.

O’Donnell, K. (2019). The theological basis for trans-exclusionary radical feminist positions. In N. Banerjea, K. Browne, E. Ferreira, M. Olasik, & J. Podmore (Eds.), Lesbian feminism: Essays opposing global heteropatriarchies. Bloomsbury Academic & Professional.

Thurlow, C. (2022). From TERF to gender critical: A telling genealogy? Sexualities. Advance online publication. https://doi.org/10.1177/13634607221107827

Weiss, P. A. (Ed.). (2018). Feminist manifestos: A global documentary reader. New York University Press.

Williams, C. (2016). Radical inclusion: Recounting the trans inclusive history of radical feminism. TSQ: Transgender Studies Quarterly, 3(1-2), 254-258. https://doi.org/10.1215/23289252-3334463

#repost #furry #furry art #lesbian #lesbian history #xenon art

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cindylouwho-2 · 4 months ago

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RECENT ECOMMERCE NEWS (INCLUDING ETSY), AUGUST 2024

Hello, and welcome to my very last Ecommerce News update here on Tumblr.

After today, these reports will now be found at least twice a week on my Patreon, available to all paid members. See more about this change here on my website blog: https://www.cindylouwho2.com/blog/2024/8/12/a-new-way-to-get-ecommerce-news-and-help-welcome-to-my-patreon-page

Don't worry! I will still be posting some short pieces here on Tumblr (as well as some free pieces on my Patreon, plus longer posts on my website blog). However, the news updates and some other posts will be moving to Patreon permanently.

Please follow me there! https://www.patreon.com/CindyLouWho2

TOP NEWS & ARTICLES

Etsy has banned gift certificates/cards sold by individual shops, as of Sept 15. Only Etsy Gift Cards are now allowed. The second quarter report press release says they plan on selling Etsy Gift Cards through third parties, but no official word on how and when yet.

Many Amazon Handmade sellers were unable to list new items after a site update on July 31 [post by me on LinkedIn]. While Amazon told sellers to apply for an exemption from the Product ID requirement, some report that is not working, or that they do not have the option to apply for one.

Reminder that Canadian Etsy shops will be charged a 1.15% Regulatory Operating fee on the item price and shipping cost as of August 15. [I’ve set a bunch of things to expire. If Etsy isn’t profitable enough to pay its taxes, maybe they should consider cutting executive pay instead of squeezing microbusinesses even more.]

ETSY NEWS

Etsy has updated its Privacy Policy, to take effect August 31. Changes include mention of biometric data. Note that some parts of the policy are screenshots, and therefore not easily searchable nor accessible to screen readers - I am not sure how they can get away with that. I used the Wayback Machine to do a comparison of the parts that software can actually read. There’s also a new US regional privacy policy, which currently covers laws in several states.

Etsy is promoting a Labour Day sale August 21-September 2, and has already set up the "Cyber Savings Sale" (November 18-December 3) for Cyber Week. You can schedule the official sales through links in the announcement.

Forbes covered Etsy’s sex toy ban [soft paywall; not safe for work photos]. To no one's surprise, plenty of the banned items are still found on site, including toys and vintage Playboy magazines.

Etsy is accused of allowing shops based in “illegal Israeli settlements in the occupied Palestinian territory” and profiting off of them. Etsy’s response: "[W]e have shared this information internally with the appropriate teams for review."

Etsy's promised program for buyers - Etsy Insider - will be rolling out as invite-only beta in September. It's a paid membership for US buyers and includes:

Free US domestic shipping on millions of items

A birthday bonus

Limited edition annual gift, designed by an Etsy seller

First access to special discounts and select merchandise

While some of the "special discounts" are paid by sellers, that is a voluntary program shops can sign up for here. That form also allows you to sign up to offer new items to Etsy Insiders first - “drops” - which does not involve offering discounts. Etsy has done these sorts of "offers" in the past, and I believe they have already reached out to sellers for the first round of offers in September (based on some emails I have received from shop owners).

You can now sign up for “Etsy Up”, the virtual sellers conference scheduled for September 10. However, despite saying they have announced “our agenda”, all that is provided is a vague set of topics (other than the fact they will be announcing the Etsy Design Awards Finalists). It makes me wonder if there are official Etsy announcements coming soon that they don’t want to reveal too early by posting the real agenda. If yes, around August 15 is a good bet, given that Etsy’s Search Analytics will end that day, and many new policies kick in on September 15, just one month later.

The Etsy app is showing rectangular listing images in search for some visitors, but it appears to be a test [Reddit thread with screenshot]. I wouldn’t change anything at this time.

No, Etsy has not replaced your listing tags. I covered that topic here on LinkedIn.

I wrote about the new Listing Image Requirement policy and the email Etsy sent to some sellers on Monday July 29. [post by me on Patreon] And not everyone is being fooled by Etsy’s new Creativity Standards, but some acknowledge it will be difficult for Etsy to turn away factory-made goods at this point. [Disclosure: I am quoted in that article]

ECOMMERCE NEWS (minus social media)

Amazon

Amazon’s second quarter revenue was below expectations, and the company predicts nothing better in the third quarter.

In a surprising change, Amazon has decided to cancel overage fees for Fulfillment by Amazon (FBA) inventory storage, retroactive to July 1.

Canadian Amazon sellers will be subject to a new digital services fee as of October 1. This is due to Canada’s new digital services tax.

In a case that may have an impact on other larger ecommerce sites, a court ruled that Amazon is responsible for recalls of products sold through Amazon, including through “Fulfilled By Amazon”.

US Amazon shoppers can now link their Pinterest and TikTok accounts to Amazon to be able to buy directly from Amazon ads on social media. This is already available on Facebook, Instagram and Snap.

Amazon is changing its refund policy for Fulfillment by Amazon (FBA) users: if sellers do not receive an automatic reimbursement for loss, damage and returns, they will now only have 60 days to apply for one. A lot of ecommerce experts think Amazon is making a mistake in setting up a China to US section on the site.

eBay

eBay second quarter revenue and profit was higher than expected, but the third quarter projections are low.

The eBay app has taken a lot of flack for inserting ads between each item in a purchase history.

Poshmark

As marketplaces popular for pre-owned items compete for the best new stock, Poshmark is offering “rewards” for listing at least 1 item a week.

Shopify

Shopify had a better-than-expected second quarter, and expects a decent third quarter as well. Getting larger businesses to use Shopify has helped the tech company, but I still wonder how that affects the small and micro businesses who used to be the target market.

Walmart

The Walmart Marketplace has added Chile as its fourth country, after the US, Canada and Mexico.

All Other Marketplaces

Hundreds of business owners who sell on Temu held a protest at the marketplace headquarters on July 29. Fines for returns are one cited issue.

Payment Processing

Credit cards issued by Chase in the US will no longer allow third-party buy-now-pay-later purchases, as of October 10. Conveniently, they offer their own option, Chase Pay Over Time. PayPal has expanded the quicker checkout solution Fastlane to all US businesses, which fills in customer information without a log in.

#ecommerce #EtsySellerNews #etsy #microbusiness #cindylouwho2

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douglysium · 8 months ago

Text

Episode 13 TMP Quick Thoughts

Housekeeping and Prologue

Hello, this is Douglysium and you might not know me as that guy who wrote over 100 pages of analysis on the Eye (which can be read on Tumblr here (https://douglysium.tumblr.com/post/735599414228484097/the-relationships-between-the-dread-powers-the) or Google Docs here (The Relationships Between the Dread Powers: The Eye- Knowledge is Fear and Ignorance is Bliss)) or as that guy who wrote an article on the Extinction (which can be read on Tumblr here(https://douglysium.tumblr.com/post/717929126195003392/what-would-avatars-of-the-extinction-be-like-a) and Google Docs here(What would Avatars of the Extinction be like?: A TMA Speculation)). Suffice to say I might be a bit of a TMA fan. Also, spoilers for TMP up until episode 10. You can read my ramblings on the last episode here (Episode 12 TMP Quick Thoughts).

However, Protocol offers a very unique opportunity and experience for me because I didn’t actually get into TMA until after it was over and I binged all of it. So this is my first time experiencing something even remotely similar to what the original TMA fans probably experienced when waiting for each episode week by week and slowly having to put everything together with the limited information they had. So I decided to throw my hat into the ring since this might be my only chance to do something similar. However, I’m working on some longer form TMA content so I can’t spend as much time on these articles giving a bunch of super detailed thoughts. I will try to keep these short and that inevitably might mean some could have questions about why I think or predict certain things and in those cases I would probably recommend you read at least some of the two articles I mentioned above to get a better idea of where I’m coming from. This also means I won’t be giving you a play-by-play of every single thing that happens in the episode so I encourage you to listen to or read them yourselves and feel free to comment if you feel something is important.

These reviews are probably going to end up focusing mostly on the Entities and their manifestations as they are what I have thought about the most and spent the most time interpreting and there’s been a lot of… interesting theories floating around about how the Entities are manifesting that I want to go over.

Finally, I’m just going to say it right now, spoiler warning for all of The Magnus Archives. I know that Jon and co said one could start with Protocol and be fine, and while that’s probably true, media like this tends to be made in conversation with or take into consideration what came before it in the irl chronology in order to connect them. While I’m sure you could skip The Magnus Archives, I don't really see the point of skipping over it when we are already getting characters from TMA showing up in TMP in Protocol. So to me it’s pretty clear that if we want to understand the full picture of TMP and all the things it is trying to say then we can’t just try to pretend TMA doesn’t exist or scrub it away. Just because you could understand what’s happening without the context in broad strokes doesn’t mean you're getting all the nuances.

These articles are meant to be quick and short so sorry if there’s typos and if I don’t address every possible question or possibility. I don’t want to repeat myself too much in this series outside of the prologue so be sure to skim some of my other articles.

Episode 13 “Futures”

We start the episode by overhearing the date between Sam and Celia that had been planned previously via Sam’s phone. They talk about how weird it is to have a night job and Celia reveals that she knows a lot about Sam’s personality thanks to Alice, and Celia continuously makes Sam blush (which is apparently not very hard). When asked by Sam if Celia explicitly asked Alice about hims Celia says “Just doing my due diligence.” After Celia goes over Sam’s personality traits Sam asks “So who do I talk to to get a complete list of your flaws?” to which Celia responds “No-one. I’m mysterious.” This response is probably because Celia is most likely from the TMA universe given some evidence in the previous episodes (so it’s very likely that there’s not a lot of information on her to find) but I also wonder if this is some sort of foreshadowing or allusion to something. Is all the stuff Celia reveals to Sam in this episode simply a lie to get Sam to talk? Whether or not Celia genuinely cares about Sam or is being any level of honest is still very up in the air.

Sam says “Hmmm. Well jokes aside we should probably just get all of our baggage out on the table now. It’s risky enough dating at work without adding bombshell revelations to the mix.” Celia reveals that she has a 1 year old baby named Jack. A name that was actually dropped in episode 11 “Marked” when Celia said “Hold on, Jack, I’m on my way.” after mysteriously waking up near a motorway. So there is evidence to suggest that Jack actually does exist in at least some form, since there’s no real reason for Celia to mention Jack while talking to herself. Well, unless she’s aware that something / someone was listening to her at the time anyway. Celia says that she has no idea who Jack’s dad is and “...I had a couple of wild years after I moved here. It was a really weird time for me, but somehow I got lucky enough to come out of it all with him.” I wonder if Celia’s move refers to hopping universes somehow or literally just moving. If Celia does actually turn out to be from the TMA universe I wonder how long she’s been in the Protocol one. I’ve already made the point previously that time can get a little wibbly-wobbly with multiversal travel in TMA based on what we have seen. So exactly when Celia ended up in this universe would be up in the air and I don’t know whether or not she would have shown up in perfect tandem with the Entities (especially since she could have simply tried to follow them through the gap sometime after they left the TMA universe). I wonder if Jack was somehow kidnapped or being used to blackmail Celia?

Sam unloads some of his own baggage and reveals, at least partially, why he is so interested in the Institute. Sam has not told his parents that he has bailed on his previous job. As a kid Sam was tested and was dubbed “gifted” so his mom and dad started enrolling him “in every “enrichment” program they could find.” However, when they tried to enroll Sam into the Magnus Institute, the organization apparently didn’t want him despite Sam’s status as a gifted kid. Sam notes that they were the first organization to not want him and it seems to be the point where his luck took a turn for the worse. “Didn’t get into Oxford, so I went to Nottingham. I graduated but I missed a first by one mark. Then I went to work at a legal firm. I was there for years, hoping they’d eventually sponsor me for a law degree.”

Eventually Sam had a breakdown due to stress which led to an “incident” at work. He freaked out during a presentation and “After that they “encouraged” me to move on and I did. Six unemployed months later and I took a job at the O.I.A.R.” Sam also explains that he and Alice hooked up at Celia’s behest: “Yeah. Uh Full disclosure, we dated at Uni and stayed in contact after. I did my best to help her through her parents’deaths but after that we pretty much dropped out of touch. According to her she dropped me a line about the job after “the most pathetic vague-post she had ever seen”.” “Now she’s a friend. An insufferable, obnoxious know-it-all friend but yeah, just a friend.”

Celia asks one final question, a question we have all been waiting for, “The cases, at work. Do you think they’re real?” Sam says “I… don’t know. I hope not. You?” and Celia says “I'm pretty sure they're real.” to which Sam asks for some wine. Celia once again seems to be certain of a suspicious amount of accurate information.

I wonder if Sam is telling Celia the full story since it seems like Sam’s background is missing a potentially more supernatural element. I remember one of the teasers of Protocol implying that Sam had a supernatural encounter, and having a breakdown while giving a public presentation sounds like something that could be right up the alley of an Entity like The Eye in relation to being watched and judged. So does the fear of living up to the expectations of other people as a gifted student. In TMA Jon played dumb before eventually admitting that he believed most of the statements he heard were real but was afraid of actively admitting it out of fear of whatever was listening. So I wonder if Sam, and even Alice, also suspect that the cases are real but are in some sort of denial or trying to play dumb. Considering that Colin told Sam in episode 7 “Listen mate. If you’re going to get this worked up over a weird email you’re going to freak when you see the real stuff.” and he correctly identifies that electronic devices are being used to monitor people, I wouldn't be surprised if Colin does believe or suspect something supernatural is occuring.

We cut to Gwen confronting Lena about Bonzo and Gwen asks if the events of the previous case happened because of the information she gave Bonzo. Lena says “Yes. Whatever horrible case you read, it happened.” This response is pretty interesting because it is basically Lena confirming that every case actually happened (which shouldn’t be a surprise for the audience). Lena doesn’t specify “the Bonzo case happened” she just says “Whatever horrible case you read, it happened.” As if, no matter what case Gwen read, they all would have been equally true or valid. There’s little to no chance of a case being false / fabricated or Gwen being mistaken.

Gwen asks if she is responsible for the Bonzo case and Lena says “To a degree.” Gwen starts demanding answers and Lena tells her to sit before we get some very tasty exposition. “The world is full of opposing forces, some benevolent, most not. In order for the wheels to keep on turning, all these forces need to be monitored and balanced. That is where we come in.” To me, this points to the idea that if the Fears are still around then they probably are still broken up by at least some people into various categories and factions. The idea that the Entities can be “balanced” off each other is almost identical to the philosophy of Smirke from TMA. Someone who believed that it was possible to achieve a state of harmonious balance with the Entities, only to later realize that this was an incorrect assessment with the emergence of a new Power.

Some might argue that Lena is implying that some Entities revolving around more benevolent emotions exist but I'm not 100% sure that’s true. If it was, I'm not sure why Lena would say “We are… managing the “bad guys”...” and nake a point of saying most of the “opposing forces” are not benevolent. I mean maybe they are out there but at the very least they are outnumbered by the fear based Entities (so much so that I would say we haven’t seen them if they do exist) and the OIAR seems to manage the fear related ones.

This also makes it sound like the goal of the OIAR is to keep the various Entities in check. In TMA some Entities often clashed and their various factions would often interrupt each other’s rituals in an attempt to get ahead. The OIAR might be taking advantage of this in order to keep any one Entity from pulling ahead. For example, if someone noticed that The Eye and Stranger often had an antagonistic relationship then they might be inclined to send someone or something aligned with The Stranger to deal with a manifestation of The Eye in order to take advantage of an aspect of the relationship. We have seen this sort of thing done in TMA, such as when Gertrude disrupts a ritual of The Buried by throwing someone touched by The Vast into it or when Jon disrupts the Dark’s Extinguished Sun by staring at it. While it is true that all the Entities are required for a successful ritual it does seem apparent that whichever Entity actually has their ritual pulled off rules, or is the dominant force of, the subsequent Change. For example, The Eye’s ritual did bring all the Entities into the universe but The Eye was watching over all of it and seemed to be in charge. Additionally, those aligned with The Stranger, such as the NotThem and Breekon and Hope, seemed quite miserable due to the fact that the Entity they were tied to thrived off of mystery and the unknown. In MAG 092 (Nothing Beside Remains) Jonah tells Jon “We thrive on ceaseless watching, on knowing too much. What we face is the hidden, the uncanny, and the unknown.” In MAG 165 (Revolutions) Not-Sasha says this in regards to The Eye’s Post-Change world “Do you know how it feels? To be – anonymous? And yet known! To have all the sweetest dread I can create tainted by the relentless gaze of that damned Eye. I’ve suffered enough.”

So it’s possible that even if something like the Anglerfish did get dragged from TMA it might still not want another Power to win. Also, an Entity like The Web still might be at play and trying to prevent an Entity from setting off its ritual until it's own plan is ready. We also know that people like Jared Hopworth weren’t interested in conducting a ritual for The Flesh, even though others aligned with the same Entity were, so it’s possible there are people and monsters that do not care for any sort of ritual succeeding either way.

GWEN

“That doesn’t mean anything.”

LENA

“And yet it is the only explanation you’re going to get for now.”

GWEN

“So what? We’re the bad guys?”

LENA

“We are… managing the “bad guys”..”

LENA

“(cont. returning to her desk) There should be an email in your inbox. We have another external that needs assignment. It’s quite urgent.”

Lena’s refusal to give Gwen straight answers could just be some sort of security measure until Gwen proves herself trustworthy but it also rings familiar of how Jonah purposefully refused to give Jon certain answers about the Entities and what was happening until the moment was right for his plan. In MAG 092 (Nothing Beside Remains), Jonah explains the reason he killed Leitner: “[Sighs] Of course, Detective. So. For the avoidance of any doubt. I killed Gertrude Robinson because she intended to destroy the Archives. And I killed Jurgen Leitner because he was… an unnecessary complication. Likely to tell John too much, too early.” So something similar could be happening here and Lena is purposefully not giving Gwen all the information as part of some sort of plan or process.

The case for this episode takes the form of Darrien filing a complaint about the Zorrotrade App to their customer supportline’s answerphone. The bot tells Darrien that all the operators are busy and that they should leave a message and Darrien begins to explain what happened.

“(intense) Listen you thieving bastards, I want my money. I don’t care about your “suspicious activity” bollocks, I have burnt my entire life to the ground for this stupid bloody app and now you owe me my goddam money. So, you can either pay up or I drop a line to the Ombudsman and tell them all about your little “Projection” trading, see what they make of it.” “You can’t just take my money, lock me out of your app, and then expect me to roll over. I’ve been a user for years. Hell, I’ve probably invested more via this poxy little program than everyone else put together and what do I have to show for it? Eh? You owe me.”

Darrien rambles about how they worked hard for the money and if losing the money is some sort of punishment they don’t deserve it. While Darrien’s colleagues go to uni Darrien decides to “make bank” and take out their entire student loan and go straight to shoring using the Zorrotrade app. According to Google, “shorting” is short for “short selling” and “is a trading strategy where investors speculate on a stock's decline.” Darrien stuck with the app since it had just launched and even powered through its “first janky interface, your weird background checks, all those damn glitches but I stuck with it because unlimited Margins and Deposits was pretty sweet. Made some quick cash shorting failing startups then used that to broaden into Crypto, leveraged some EM ETFS, scraped up a few pennies then started to go long on a few obvious winners like Omni and Sparkhub for some hedging. Easy peasy.” Darrien eventually accrues enough money to become the one in their friend group to be buying all the good stuff “And sure, money can’t buy you love, but you’d be amazed what personal trainers, high end surgery and hair plugs can achieve on a speccy little finance nerd.”

Darrien continued to make good money until “I got cocky and I bet against the big man himself. I shorted Dantex hard in 2020. Stupid, really, but the whole Zurich thing had wiped a bunch out of my portfolio and I got a tipoff from one of the lads. So I went all in. And no, I don't blame Zorrotrade for that. But it was a bad time. I remember I was sitting on deck with Oli, watching the sun set in the Riviera and I was ready to close up shop. I grabbed my phone and started messing with the settings looking to settle up. That was when I noticed your new: “Personal Projection Short Selling” feature. It was disabled, buried under advanced lab settings and covered in disclaimers without any explanation but it still grabbed me. I had no idea what it was and there was nothing about it online”

Darrien makes mention of a slider with the warning “These settings are experimental and

may not function as intended, user discretion is advised.” but insists that this does not justify what Zorrotrade has done to him. Because Darrien was basically broke and had nothing to lose, they flick the experimental slider on and “a new dialogue window opened with two words: “Investment Amount”. Bear in mind that at this point I barely had a pot to piss in. So I put in my last few grand. Why the hell not?” The app took Darrien’s money and they carried on drinking until they passed out at around 4pm. Oli eventually kicks Darrien out for making a mess in his guest cabin but Darrien notes “let’s be honest, we didn’t really get on anyway. He dumped me at the dock with nowhere to stay and told me he’d send me a bill for the TV.” Signifying that Darrien most likely broke a TV in a drunken stupor.

After being kicked out, Darrien tries to call some other friends but Oli had told a group chat that Darrien was broke and the group “always knew I’d “end up back in the gutter eventually.”” As Darrien begins writing a “proper” response their phone dies and, since they were borrowing Oli’s charger previously, they did not have a way to charge their phone.

The call cuts out and then Darrien reconnects saying “Yeah, I know I'm going long with this, but tough. You can just shut up and listen.” which I just thought was funny. I assume the message just got cut because it was too long and Darrien had to tell the story over the course of two messages. Darrien later gets robbed as they explain “So it turns out that stepping off a yacht, alone, in some pissant fishing dock in the arse end of nowhere, in the middle of the night with a thousand dollar case and a lost look on your face is a good way to get yourself mugged. They took everything. The case, my watch, my jacket, even my shoes. But not my phone. Dunno why, it’s like they didn’t even notice it. Kicked the hell out of me, though. Talk about rock bottom…”

Darrien eventually manages to get their hands on a charger and contact the British Embassy. “They told me to go online for an emergency travel permit and it was as I was applying for it, that I saw a new email ping up from my bank app. “Deposit received” I opened it and got as far as “remaining balance: one hundred thousand and eighty three pounds, twelve pence“ before I was back on Zorrotrade reading a notification: “Congratulations! In recognition of your change in circumstances, you’re Personal Projection Short Sell has now been paid in full. We hope you invest again soon!”” Darrien concludes that while they were drunk they had somehow bet against themselves and because Darrien lost all their money and stock they were rewarded for it. Darrien figures this is a bug but handwaves it as being a problem with the app instead of their fault for abusing the loophole. From their perspective they earned / deserved the money.

Darrien admits that they knew it was probably a fluke and should have quit but ��Only, that’s the thing with money. It multiplies, especially when you’re good at finding loopholes.” They even say that they should’ve been more concerned about how the supposed loophole even worked but “the wheels were already turning.” They realized that they might be able to short against their own life and then purposely injure themselves in order to go positive and make a profit. “And no, it wasn't fraud. I’ve checked and there’s no regulations about it or anything, so like I said: your app, your problem…” Darrien begins testing this loophole: “Nothing huge. I bet a thousand quid then picked a fight with the biggest stranger I could. It cost me a tooth but… four hundred profit. A good return but it didn't cover the dental bill to get it properly fixed. I tried again, this time betting 10k before renting a car (with insurance) and crashing it into a tree at speed. That messed my leg up pretty badly and I got a faceful of glass but I also got 50k profit. That was more like it. I spent a few weeks breaking myself, and sabotaging my life, in various ways, and by the end I'd banked a cool mil. It was just so liberating, so addictive, literally cashing in my misery into cold, hard cash. So as the sun set over the harbor I opened the app again and dug straight through to the Personal Projection Short Selling box: “Investment Amount” One million pounds, ‘You Only Live Once’ right? Again, the little ping and the tick. Then it was time to go for a walk.”

Darrien then picks a cliff that is about an hour and a half’s walk away. They also hope that the cliff isn’t tall enough to kill them when they jump off of it. On their way to the cliff they made a few phone calls. Darrien called their parents to tell them that they never loved them and that they hope they die horribly, they go onto the previously mentioned group chat and talk about how they slept with each of the member’s partners (even when they hadn’t) and “Then it was on to my socials publicly declaring my affiliation with every messed up ideology and psychopath I could find. I ran out of time before I could confess to robbing orphanages to buy drugs but I think I made my point.”

“Then I got to the cliff. It felt much taller standing at the top. There was a surprisingly chill wind blowing across the edge, driven upwards from the sea and that coupled with the sheerness of the drop gave me a moment of vertigo. I hesitated. Was this really worth it?” Then they jump off the cliff and when they come to: “I woke up here at l’hopital Jean-Marcel, 2 days later. Apparently, I was in a medically induced coma since they found me. One leg was amputated and the other is full of pins. Cracked spine in two places, ruptured spleen, 6 broken ribs and a cracked skull. Every second hurts. But when I woke up I couldn’t be happier. I was alive sure, but more than that I was rich, properly rich, untouchably rich. Everything was going to be okay” A bunch of people crowded Darrien as they woke up but they just demanded their phone so they could check the Zorrotrade app for their money (it’s possible that many thought Darrien attempted a suicide).

“I braced myself, looked down and there it was. Almost fifty million. But… there

was a tiny symbol to the left of the figure. A minus symbol. And then I saw your notice. “Your payment has been suspended due to suspicious account activity including potential insider trading. Official bodies have been notified. Please repay your outstanding balance or prepare for Personal Adjustment.” That was twelve hours ago and no matter what I do I can’t seem to get through to anybody. So yeah, I need my money. I didn’t do anything wrong I just… used a loophole, that’s all. You can’t blame me for playing the system. Besides I’ve got nothing left. Nothing. So just, give me my goddamn money.” We then get

DARRIEN

“Oh, right. Darrien Laurel. Account number 428813.”

ANSWERPHONE

“Thank you. You are being transferred to our adjustments department. Click.”

There is something on the other end of the phone. It clearly isn’t human. Metallic insectoid chittering grows louder.

DARRIEN

“H- hello?” The chittering grows even louder. DARRIEN drops the phone.

DARRIEN

(cont.) “Oh god- what!? Nurse! NURSE! Darrien screams.” The call ends.

It’s definitely weird hearing Darrien actively get jumped mid statement. It’s also interesting that whatever is on the other end of the call doesn’t seem to respond until Darrien gives their full name and account number. I wonder if this “adjustement” is killing Darrien, dragging them somewhere, or literally controlling / reconfiguring them somehow. Well Darrien show up again in a kind of Michael Distortion or Anglerfish type situation? It could also be something else entirely.

If I were to view this through the lens of Smirke’s 14 I would say that this statement has a lot of similarities with The Desolation and The Web for a lot of the same reasons I gave when going over episode 9 (Rolling with It).

People mistakenly assume that The Desolation is just the fear of fire when in reality it is the fear of loss and destruction, and it has manifested as bad luck in the past, such as in MAG 37 (Burnt Offering) after Jason North disturbs a site that was used by the Cult of the Lightless Flame in an attempt to curse Gertrude (you can read my full explanation of all that stuff here (Episode 9 TMP Quick Thoughts)). We have also seen The Desolation connect to the loss of belongings such as money. In MAG 089 (Twice as Bright) when Jude Perry says “Then it was simply a matter of forging his signature on a few documents implicating him in some very illegal transactions to get his assets stripped from him. Oh, and burning down the new house, of course. And with each act of glorious, hateful destruction, I felt my god’s love embrace me, consume me, give me life. Any feelings of pity or mercy I might have had for the poor woman I fed from were cauterised.” Notice how she mentions stripping someone of their assets to appease The Desolation. So the connection to the connection to The Desolation would come from the fear Darrien has of losing their money

The connection to The Web is much simpler. Darrien is basically gambling (even if they are cheating in the end) and they note the process as being addictive. We know that The Web has a strong association with addictions. The transcripts also describe the noise at the end of the statement as being “Metallic insectoid chittering” which could relate to something like a weird spider or bug but it’s hard to be sure. Darrien does mention that they were miserable and expresses fear of going too far or messing up, so fear is definitely still present.

There’s also The Buried, an Entity that doesn’t just relate to the fear of being stuck or not having enough space literally but also metaphorically. Meaning it can relate to the idea of being trapped or stuck due to crippling debt.

The case also has some themes of The Slaughter (with Darrien getting stabbed and then picking fights) as well as The Vast (when they jump off the cliff). You could also argue The End since Darrien seems wary of accidentally killing themselves.

We cut back to the OIAR and Alice walks in on Sam who is a little drunk. I wonder if he’s drinking to cope with the realization that the cases could be real. Alice teases him for a bit and Sam says “It’s just- I get that you might not love the idea of me seeing Celia, but… I just think we should keep things a bit more… professional now. You know?” Alice is clearly hurt by this but is clearly trying to cope with jokes and sarcasm.

SAM

“Alice wait.”

ALICE

“What.”

SAM

“I just don’t want things to get weird…”

ALICE

“Then you’re in the wrong line of work.”

SAM

“Yeah.

SAM

“I’m sorry”

An odd comment from Alice. I wonder if she is referring to the weird occurrences in the cases or the nature of many of the people who work in the OIAR. Does the OIAR attract weird people? It isn’t unheard of for Entities to tend to attract people with certain traits or personalities more than others.

Alice tells Sam “But if you ever ask me to be professional again, I'm going to have to take a shit on your desk.” and I wish I could say with confidence that this was just a joke and not a threat. I can see why Alice might be a little hurt by Sam asking to be professional because he is basically saying they should stop talking during their long tedious boring office job right after he went on a very personal date with another coworker. Not to mention the fact that Alice clearly cares about him and even went with him all the way to the ruins of the Magnus Institute.

Sam once again asks Alice if the cases are real. Alice asks if it really matters and Sam says “Yeah, kind of! If we’re working for the Men in Black or covering up ghosts or whatever then shouldn’t someone go to the press or…” to which Alice responds “Okay, a) You’re drunk, b) You can’t prove anything and c) you signed the official secrets act in your onboarding.And I know all your school friends say treason's “bussin'” and “fire”, but it won't look good on your CV.” before stopping Sam’s interjection and elaborating “Look Sam, you really want my opinion? Sober up and stop trying to make an impact. Just do the job and take your pay.” Basically, Alice is telling Sam not to try to be the big hero. I makes me wonder how certain Alice is that the cases aren’t real or if she just thinks whether they are real or not doesn’t matter because she wouldn’t be able to do anything about it anyway, so she just works off the assumption they are not.

SAM

“And what, just ignore what’s going on right under my nose?”

ALICE

“(heading off) Pretty much. Keep it professional.”

SAM

“(incredulous) I’m sorry?”

ALICE

“It's ok when I say it.”

SAM sighs and goes back to work.

I can’t 100% tell if Alice telling Sam to “Keep it professional” is her way of getting back at Sam or if she is more so getting at the idea that she is using it in a different context for different reasons. Maybe both.

Why Smirke’s 14?

I’ve seen more and more people asking why people such as myself have been deferring to, or even adamant about, Smirke’s 14 still being applicable, and to be honest I don’t think I’ve done the best job actually sitting down and explaining all the logic in a cohesive way. Considering Lena mentioned balance and opposing forces in episode 13, and how that rings similar to Smirke’s original philosophy of balance among the Entities, I figured now was a good time to mention it.

A mistake that I think a lot of fans make is that they assume the Entities sort of invented fear or are the reason fear exists when this doesn’t seem to be the case. For example, The Extinction and The Flesh are not the reason the fear of global warming / advancing technology and being butchered / consumed / disfigured exist. They merely feed on, and sometimes exacerbate in specific target people, already existing fears and concerns. In MAG 200 we get “Then came minds that knew it differently. They grew slowly, over the millennia; inch by inch they found new things to dread. The fear of their own end, of the things that lived in the darkness, became a fear of the darkness itself. And as they grew to know what it is that they saw, to give it names, and struggle at learning, so too did they learn to fear that their eyes might deceive them, or show them too much. And as they learned to know their friends and kin, so too did they learn to fear the unknown figure, the coming of the stranger, and the silence when they were alone. And when they found fire, that bright ignition of home and hope and progress, the thing that was fear gorged itself on a newfound terror once again.” This fits in line with what we know about the Entities. Generally speaking, what usually happens is once a fear of something becomes great or common enough on a mass scale an Entity will emerge to feed on it. As I’ve mentioned before, these Entities are all parts of a bigger whole but it helps to think of them as specialists. Each Entity specializes in tracking down and consuming specific types of fear, sort of like how different parts of our body have different purposes and can be made out of different tissues and materials for different reasons. Saying the Entities are the only reason various fears exist would be like saying the only reason animals have meat is for carnivores to eat them. In reality, animals started developing various tissues and meats before certain creatures evolved to take advantage of the resource.

The closest we get to the idea that one or more Entities created a fear from scratch is “Once upon a time there was fear. Old fear. Primal fear. A fear of blood and pounding feet, a fear of that sudden burst of pain and then nothing. And that fear was nothing. Went nowhere. Knew not what it was. Then it became. Or perhaps it always was and simply entered. But fear was here and true and was itself, and it hungered. It wished to know more. It wished to feel more. It wished to be more. And to those things that hurried through the grass, that shivered through the night in their burrows and their caves, because they knew the dark held flashing talons and shining eyes, they fed the fear. It was blunt and it was simple, but still it was solid enough to satisfy. And the thing that was fear was sated and content.” However, while some parts of this are ambiguous, such as whether or not the fears were born attached to the TMA universe, the way it’s phrased makes it sound like what most likely happened is the fear of being hunted caused the first ever Entity (The Hunt) to come into existence. This line says that the primal fear “went nowhere.” It would have gone nowhere because nothing was feeding on it but “Then it became. Or perhaps it always was and simply entered. But fear was here and true and was itself, and it hungered.” Suddenly an Entity manifests from or because of that fear and begins to hunger it. Once again, even in the beginning, the cause and effects are existing fears birthing new Entities.

It’s also important to mention that the Entities couldn’t always manifest in the physical world. It is stated “And as the things that were fear hovered at the edge of the world, the flowing horror of these minds nourished them, swelling some and withering others, pushing and pulling the shattered, swirling mass of terror into ever newer and undiscovered forms. And something else began to happen. Some minds did not simply recoil from them and feed them. Some seemed almost to call them, to court them, to hunger for them in return. Minds that saw the faces of the things that were fear, and were compelled as much as they were repulsed. Whether or not they knew what it was they did, they called out. And they were answered. Time is different for fear, and it cannot be said exactly who was the first to open themselves and be filled with the power of terror. A hermit, huddled in a pitch black cave through winter, who emerged and brought the depth of night with him wherever he trod. A pestilent chieftain who found her breath sloughed from her body and rotted whatever it touched. A warrior driven from their village, who found their face as smooth and shifting as the sands of their home. Which came first does not matter, the unseen gap was bridged, and the thin veil between the world that was and the things that were fear had been torn, ever so slightly. And with this tear, they grew stronger, bolder, pouring themselves into the world and creating monsters. Long things that wore you like a suit, smiling things that stripped you from your bones, unseen things that watched and watched and watched and never left you. And with each new creation, each new servant, the Fears reached further and fed the things that made them. And with this newfound power came greed. The hunger for more, the unformed, unfocused, but impossibly huge desire to exist. To join the minds that gave them shape and purpose, and finally drink their fill ‘til they were one and the same. They had no concept of how, or when, or even why, but they needed it. They needed it.”

The Protocol universe seems quite similar to the TMA universe in that it closely parallels ours in many ways. Many of the cultures that exist in our universe exist there, such as the UK and various countries to name a few, and many of the common fears seem like our own. Even if the Entities are recent additions to the Protocol universe a lot of the fears that gave birth to, and sustained, them would presumably still exist. The fear of being butchered for The Flesh, knowledge and being watched for The Eye, the unknown for The Stranger, violence for the Slaughter. etc.. These aren’t completely alien and distinct cultures or worlds here but places that closely mirror or resemble our own. So a lot of the fears would be the same which would mean basically all of the sustenance for the existing Entities would still be there.

While this does address the various categories this does not address Smirke’s 14 specifically, so let’s talk about that. I’ve seen a lot of people under the impression that Smirke somehow caused the Entities to organize themselves into the various categories we see characters throughout the series using but I think this gets the cause and effect of the Entities backwards once again. Smirke is only one guy and not only is he just one person but a majority of the people didn’t know the Entities existed, much less anything about Smirke’s categories. There weren’t a lot of statements were a victim got jumped by say a creeping figure in the dark and surmised “ah this must be related to the ghost that attacked Jan last week as a manifestation of The Dark.” To most people most supernatural events would be brushed off as delusions and the ones that weren’t wouldn’t usually be immediately assumed to be related without due cause. Even in the Post-Change world there were plenty of victims who seemed unaware of the full scope of the Entities and Smirke’s categories. At best Smirke’s categories would affect the manifestations directed at people who were aware of them but most people are not fully aware of these categories. So overall Smirke’s categories would have been but a drop in the metaphorical ocean that is collective fear.

Smirke made the categories based on patterns and behaviors he had noticed in the Entities and their manifestations. Some manifestations seem attracted to the same kind of emotions, or others clash because sometimes they are fighting in an attempt to bring out two often contradictory emotions. The weird spider people are more likely to work together with other weird spider people but they are more likely to fight the weird destructive burning people. So on and so forth.

For a clearer example of what I mean I would point to the various artifact books. The so-called leitners. The leitners didn’t just start popping into existence so that Jurgen Leitner could collect them. Rather, they already existed which prompted Jurgen to look for them and store them in his library before it was subsequently attacked and destroyed. The Entities did not change their entire general behavior on a global scale because one person found a book, Leitner just wrote his name in existing books. Likewise, what Smirke was at least trying to do was note already existing behaviors and manifestations and find commonalities between them. It wouldn’t be super different in concept than any other of the numerous pattern based categories humans make. For example, we divide animals into things like fish, mammals, birds, reptiles, etc.. These categories are usually based on shared traits between these animals but even they are not perfect categories or little boxes. Every mammal gives live birth… until it’s a platypus. How we divide up animals are just made up human concepts to note various patterns and differences. You could also use colors as an example like Gerard does, we assign names and categories to various colors, we even have things like primary, secondary, and complimentary colors, but in reality all colors are just all pieces of a wider spectrum of electromagnetic waves.

Smirke also mentions weird dreams in MAG 138 (The Architecture of Fear) when he says “Did I ever tell you about the dreams? I’m sure I must have. I would dream about them, you see, as a young man, long before I devised my taxonomy. I would find myself in nightmares of strange, far-off places: a field of graves, a grasping tunnel, an abattoir knee-deep in pig’s blood. I believed then, as I still believe now, that these places I saw were the Powers themselves, expressed in their truest form, far more entirely than any “secret” book can claim. And if, as I came to believe, the Dread Powers were themselves places of some sort, then surely with the right space, the right architecture, they could be contained. Channeled. Harnessed. So yes, hubris. Not simply in that, I suppose, but in believing that those I brought into my confidence shared my lofty goals.” Which might imply one or more Powers were trying to communicate with him directly.

Jon does make a point that Smirke’s system is not flawless and it is often subjective as he notes in MAG 183 (Monument) in response to Martin saying he shouldn’t have a domain because he’s not an Avatar “It’s just a word. A word used by… fools like Smirke to try and sort everything into neat little boxes, to reduce the messy spray of human fear into a checklist: Human, avatar, monster, victim. Only now, now there’s a binary. There’s finally a clear dividing line and, well, I’m sorry you’re not happy with which side you’ve ended up on.” Jon also mentions that the domain that appears in the episode is “Dead? Yes. Very much so. This place is… an homage, shall we say. A monument. To him and those like him, who tried to… categorise the world with themselves at the centre. In so doing, constructed the architecture of its suffering.”

However in the next episode, MAG 184 (Like Ants) Jon says “The whole place would collapse and then, without The Corruption’s influence, I think The Buried would flow in to fill the gap.” to which Martin retorts “I thought you said Smirke’s Fourteen was a load of bull?” before Jon explains “I said it was limited, and draws artificial borders, but it does have its use when it comes to conceptualising these things. Regardless, I’m pretty sure we’d be left somewhat… entombed.” This fits in with what Gerard says about the Entities in MAG 111 (Family Business) “And like colours, some of these powers, they feed into or balance each other. Some really clash, and you just can’t put them together. I mean, you could see them all as just one thing, I guess, but it would be pretty much meaningless, y’know, like… like trying to describe a… shirt by talking about the concept of colour.” Using the color example again, technically all colors we see are just varying wavelengths of light but responding to someone asking “does this look red to you?” with “red, blue, purple… what’s the difference? They’re all the same” isn’t that helpful. If I were to put it another way, imagine trying to go through your life without using any units of measurement. Someone asks how far away a country is and you have to explain it to them without any standardized unit of measurement. It’s certainly possible for some but most people would find it even more obtuse, arbitrary, and unwieldy than even the equally made up standardized units of measurement like kilometers and miles.

However, these categories are not clean, they can be nebulous, and people may organize them differently. In MAG 167 (Curiosity) it is noted that a previous Archivist, Angus Stacey, tried to come up with his own categories: “Angus had been too keen to learn, too ambitious in his academic legacy. He had had grand plans to revise Smirke’s Fourteen, and, in doing so, burned through his resources, his luck, and ultimately all but one of his assistants.”

At the end of the day I think what Jon and TMA are saying is that yes the Entities are kind of incomprehensible and that very incomprehensibility means that the only way many people can process what they are and why they act in certain ways is by dividing them into categories. Jon also points out to Gerard that fears can vary depending on the culture and person and Gerard responds with “A lot of them, yeah, but others are deeper than that. And when our fears change, so do these things. But it’s not quick. Gertrude reckons they’ve basically been the same since the Industrial Revolution. She and my mum both liked to follow Smirke’s list of fourteen.” Which makes sense, most people don’t want to die or be stabbed. Gerard’s comment also makes it sound like other people might categorize the Entities differently but he also says “I always think it helps to imagine them like colours. The edges bleed together, and you can talk about little differences: “oh, that’s indigo, that’s more lilac”, but they’re both purple. I mean, I guess there are technically infinite colours, but you group them together into a few big ones. A lot of it’s kind of arbitrary. I mean, why are navy blue and sky blue both called blue, when pink’s an entirely different colour from red? Y’know? I don’t know, that’s just how it works.” The Smirke’s 14 aren’t as specific as some people make them out to be and can actually be quite broad and sweeping categories.

So with that in mind, I think Smirke’s fears are a lot more helpful and generally applicable than people give them credit for. And I mean, Smirke was onto something since he does seem to be one of the people that came up with the Entities’ rituals in the first place. Upon hearing about an attempted ritual for The Dark he realized every Entity probably has a similar ritual. As he says in the statement of MAG 138 “So many have abandoned us, casting about for rituals that I helped design. In my excited discussions with Mr. Rayner, I perhaps extrapolated too much from his talk of a grand ritual of darkness. The Dark, I thought, was simply one of the powers, so it stands to reason that each of them should have its own ritual. Perhaps they already did, even before I put pen to paper.” Once again implying that ideas about The Dark and rituals for the Entities to react to possibly existed before Smirke and he was simply collecting / noting various patterns and similarities. He may simply have been the most recent or well known person to put these thoughts together but not necessarily the first. Even then, Smirke wasn’t completely right because while his theory about balance was technically right in the sense that you need a ritual to summon every Entity into the universe for one to work he seems to have tied each ritual too closely to a single Entity (which luckily caused them to fail until Jonah worked out the issue).

Smirke does ponder if he brought the Entities into existence when he says “Fourteen powers, with their opposites and their allies, each with an aim no more or less than manifestation. Apocalypse. Apotheosis. I wonder, did my work bring about these dreadful things, or – did I simply develop the means by which they can be known?” But I don’t think he’s the sole reason they exist and I’m more inclined to say that he developed “the means by which they can be known”. His categories allowed others to try to understand the Entities and what they want in a manner that was more digestible. In MAG 200 we see Jon walk through the birth of each of the Entities and interestingly The Web seems to have identified itself as being at least somewhat distinct from the other Entities even if it does identify the other Entities as parts of itself: “But there was one, the part that some would call the Spider, that had been given a gift beyond all its brethren. The minds that feared grew suspicious of their own schemes, of connections and consequences, and over time these suspicions became threads, then webs, then nerves that granted the Spider, the Mother-of-Puppets, the Hidden Machination, a mind of its own; to plot and plan and draw its own connections, its own conclusions. Wheels, within wheels within wheels… It would not, could not tell its other parts, for were they even able to understand such things, which they could not, to trust, to share in such a way ran counter to its very essence.”

We also know that the Entities used to be more harmonious but then began to clash and warp as more fears came into existence: “And as these tiny, strange minds grew and learned, they did something new. They began to take their thoughts, their instincts and their horrors, and they crystallised them. They gave them sound and form and shape to share them. And as they did the thing that was fear felt itself began to tear, to crack and fracture along a thousand unseen fault lines. It bled and warped and multiplied, and could no longer see itself as once it did. It could never be whole again.” Funnily enough, this implies that language probably has a big part to play in the manifestation of the Entities but it seems like a general thing as opposed to Smirke singlehandedly fracturing a nigh primordial being with a checklist of vague categories. The invention of language created new ways to transmit and think about fear. Languages that we know probably also exist in the Protocol universe (such as English).

So how does one reconcile The Web distinguishing itself from other parts? Well, I would use Leitner’s example of a large body. In MAG 80 (The Librarian) Leitner says “Imagine, you are an ant, and you have never before seen a human. Then one day, into your colony, a huge fingernail is thrust, scraping and digging. You flee to another entrance, only to be confronted by a staring eye gazing at you. You climb to the top, trying to find escape and, above you, can see the vast dark shadow of a boot falling upon you. Would that ant be able to construct these things into the form of a single human being? Or would it believe itself to be under attack by three different, equally terrible, but very distinct assailants?” Well, the thing about a body is you don’t have complete control over all parts of it. Your iris will automatically contract or relax when exposed to light, your body may have an allergic reaction to something that won’t harm it, your nails and hair will continue to grow so you must cut them, etc.. So The Web is still kind of an amorphous blob and a part of a greater whole but it’s a sentient blob? At least sentient in a way conventional humans can more easily understand.

This is all to say that I think Smirke’s categories are kind of less impactful on the Entities than people give credit for while also being more useful than people give them credit for. I’ve seen people wonder if the Entities blended together when they went through the gap in reality and while that’s possible, if we use Gerard’s color example, the Entities might be closer to wavelengths of light. So it might just be like shining a light through a hole. Sure the light might look like white light sometimes but at the end of the day all the colors of the rainbow are still in there somewhere. I think people get too hung up on Jon saying the categories are bogus while ignoring the times where he admits their merit or finds them convenient to use.

There’s always the chance that I could be wrong, I admit, but I don’t think people give Smirke’s categories enough credit. It’s possible that the people in this new universe use different categories or divide the Entities up differently but that wouldn’t necessarily mean that say The Desolation just no longer exists. Just like me switching from meters to feet as a unit of measurement doesn’t literally change distance. All I’ve done by doing that is just change my point of reference for what’s happening, and the distance is still the same.

Also, from a narrative perspective, while the categories CAN be obtuse and limit one’s understanding (while this might seem reductive to say) the fear categories are a major part of TMA’s identity and what help make it unique from a lot of horror. I’ve seen people who don’t like the Fears and wish the categories didn’t exist (and arguably they missed Jon’s point about arbitrary lines) but at the same time most horror I’ve come across doesn’t really have the various Entities like TMA does. I would go as far as saying that it helps set TMA apart from a lot of other stuff at the end of the day. But, like I said, who's to say that the people in the Protocol universe don’t have their own categories and dividing lines or things didn’t get shaken up at least a little.

However, I think some people are also getting too caught up on previously established manifestations of the Fears. It feels like some people have a long checklist of things like “fire, dirt, ocean, cameras, etc.” and just go through that list looking for things to checkmark. If something isn’t on that list they assume that it must be a new Fear or breaking all the known rules. But remember what Leitner says in MAG 80 when Jon asks “What about bones? Does one of them manifest with, with bones?” “You’re thinking too literally. Examining the physical categorisation, but ignoring the meaning of the thing. What are the bones? In the Distortion, your “Michael”, the structure of a skeleton, an established reality in your mind, is twisted and warped into an impossible form. But in other cases? Are they a symbol of slaughter and butchery? Are they the familiar made wrong? Or are they simply part of the messy, physicality of flesh?” It’s not so much as what the Entities manifest as but why. The Entities can manifest as seemingly just about anything as long as it generates their respective fear. The Vast often manifests as the sky and storms but The Spiral manifested as a storm to torment Michael Crew. Almost any Entity could manifest as needles or what have you in the right circumstances depending on what the focus is. It’s important to focus more on what the fears embody generally and not just tunnel vision on the physical manifestations. The Stranger is the fear of the unknown and mystery for example, not simply just the fear of clowns or circuses. In this way, reducing The Stranger to “the circus one” can be inaccurate despite the relation. The Desolation is the fear of loss and destruction, so while it can be fire it can just as easily hypothetically be a natural disaster like a tornado, earthquake, or even a swarm of locusts destroying your crops. It could even be a bank draining all your assets.

That being said, the reason why I think Smirke’s 14 is still at least somewhat applicable is because none of the cases we have gotten have really been anything that Entities haven’t done or couldn’t do before. This is already long enough so I’m sorry that I can’t go through each of these in extreme detail but RedCanary seems Eye related, Arthur sounds like the Anglerfish, the case in episode 2 is one of the most Flesh statements I’ve ever heard, the case in episode 3 reeks of The Corruption, the case in episode 4 is music that can make people fight each other (probably The Slaughter), the case in “Personal Screening” seems like The Eye again, Needles is a bit unclear to me but considering someone tried to stab them The Slaughter wouldn’t be unlikely (but Enttiies like The Flesh are possible), the case in “Give and Take” sounds like a manifestation of The Stranger, episode 8’s case resembles The Lonely, Episode 9’s case sounds like either The Web or The Desolation, Mr. Bonzo sounds pretty in line for what we’ve seen in regards to The Stranger, whatever “deep” is calling out to Gordon in episode 11 sounds the most like The Buried (The Buried is even referred to as the “Forever Deep Below” in TMA which would relate it to “The Deep” Gordon is talking about. There’s an argument for The Vast too but considering all the graves and the desire to bury things in them I’m more inclined to assume Buried), and episode 12 is just Mr. Bonzo showing up. If you want my full thoughts or have any specific questions you can check out the respective articles here (TMP Quick Thoughts Archive).

There’s one Entity I haven’t mentioned though. That’s The Extinction. The Extinction is sort of confirmed to exist but it’s a bit unclear. In MAG 175 (Epoch) Jon says “Of course it was real – A-At least in the sense that – it was a thing people feared. Whether it was strong enough in its own right to be considered at a level with Smirke’s Fourteen, or – whether it was on its way to getting there, I – maybe. This sort of thing is always muddy.” Whether or not The Change allowed the Extinction to gain enough fear to fully emerge is still unclear. There’s an argument that The Extinction was possibly sent back to square one since it seemed like Jonah didn’t need to involve it in his ritual so it’s possible it didn’t emerge in time. But, like I said previously, a lot of the fears that started giving birth to The Extinction in the first place within the world of TMA probably still exist in Protocol.

Then you have to consider the possibility that other characters or monsters may have been dragged with the Entities to the Protocol universe. If something like the Anglerfish or any number of other beings tied to the Entities got sucked into the Protocol universe it would not be impossible for them to introduce the already existing categories to new people. Likewise, they might still have many similar alliances and biases, a being that identified itself as being a part of The Stranger might still tend to dislike The Eye.

As mundane and unsatisfying as my answer might seem, my reasoning basically boils down to “I have yet to see any conclusive evidence that would prove to me this isn’t Smirke’s 14 and The Extinction” and “All of the stuff we are seeing is stuff Smirke’s 14 did or could do to begin with.”

Conclusion

This was an interesting episode but it still leaves some stuff up in the air. I wonder if the alchemical symbols will tie into the OIAR’s goal of balance? [Insert quote about equivalent exchange]. Will Celia betray Sam or side with him? Does she actually like him or just see him as easy to read and are both Sam and Celia being completely honest or not telling the full story (they are probably still hiding some things I think)? Which External will Gwen meet next? I hope they are more talkative and explanatory than Mr. Bonzo. Why did Mr. Bonzo kill that groom anyway? Was the groom aligned to an Entity or organization?

If you want to check out any of the previous articles you can do so here- TMP Quick Thoughts Archive.

#tmagp #tma #the magnus protocol #the magnus archives #theory

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miabebe · 1 year ago

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I Am What I Am (III)

A man of the shadows and a woman who belonged in the skies - fate could not have brought two more different people together. But was this fate or was this a choice?

Pairing - Im Changkyun x OC, Kim Mingyu × OC

Word Count - 9.3K

Warnings - mentions of guns, blood, death, mafia. This chapter has smut (fingering, unprotected sex)

Chapter summary - Torn between duty and desire, Na bi chooses to make a deal that may change everything. And to dream of that which didn't mean anything - 'Please don't fall in love with me Ms. Baek.'

| Previous chapter | Masterlist |

Yellow turned green when it poured through the blue curtains as Na bi looked at Changkyun under the sunlight for the first time.

He was sprawled in her sheets, lying on his stomach, his bruised and bandage covered back, raising and falling rhythmically. The house was filled with only the sound of his soft breaths, and occasionally, the flipping of the pages Na bi was clearly only pretending to read - anyone could tell, her eyes barely ever left the dark-haired man. Her coffee grew cold on the table but she couldn’t care less, not when every inch of her was already very, very awake. Unlike him.

Last night was…. something.

Emergency situations weren’t usually hard for Na bi to navigate through – it was her profession, she was trained for it and she dealt with it every day but somehow, when Changkyun collapsed in her arms last night, she froze. Why did he come here? Why did he come back to her?

When his weight got too much for her to handle, she draped his arm around her shoulder and with the little energy left in her, half led, half dragged him to her bed and laid him on it, staring at his blood soaked back. Realising that the crimson was darkening with every passing minute, she hurriedly grabbed a pair of kitchen scissors, made a slit in the fabric and ripped his shirt open, revealing a troubling mess of red. Fuck, fuck, fuck. There seemed to be a blood-stained cloth wrapped around his lower back, evidence of a poor attempt to stop the bleeding. From its width, she figured the wound below should be at least a 10 to 15 cm wide and given all the blood, definitely, considerably deep.

“I’m going to call a cab.” Na bi reached for her phone. “We need to get you to a hospital.”

“No.” He groaned softly, grabbing her wrist as she tried to get up. “No hospital.”

“But- “

“No. Hospital.” Though his voice was weak, there was a tone of finality in it that Na bi couldn't work past.

At that exact moment, to her relief and her rescue, her phone began vibrating in her hand, flashing Seokmin’s name. When she picked it up, he sounded panicked and out of breath. Fair enough, her message earlier was short and cryptic, simply stating 'danger, come over' - okay, definitely worrying.

Glancing at Changkyun’s back, thinking quick, she assured her friend that everything was fine and instructed him to bring a suture kit and some bandages to her house right away, promising to answer his questions later before abruptly cutting the call.

Getting it together, she moved fast, removing Changkyun’s shoes, adjusting him properly on the bed, rummaging through her closet, grabbing an old fading t-shirt, and a small bowl of water. Kneeling on the floor by his side, she removed the bits of ripped shirt and wiped away the stains of blood and dirt all over his back, eyes curiously falling on the tattoo between his shoulder blades. There were three red roses, stalks intertwined, blooming prettily on his back. Na bi wondered what it could possibly mean for him – it looked so delicate and soft, unlike what he seemed to have made his life around.

Over his shoulder he had another one, a writing this time – He who wears the crown, bears the crown.

“It was my father’s favourite quote.”

Na bi didn’t realise that she read it out loud when she let her fingers run over it. Or that his breath stopped under her touch.

She moved her fingers down his back, over older, fading scars of cuts and wounds all over his skin, like a strangely drawn-out map.

“Training.” He answered her unasked question.

“For?”

“Life.”

“What kind of life is this Changkyun?” Na bi sighed. “What happened to you?”

For the first time, he didn’t answer her. She looked over to see his eyes slowly fluttering shut as he began to slip away from her.

“You need to hang in there.” She softly shook him, not letting the worry show in her voice. “Just a little longer.”

But it took a lot longer than ‘a little’ for Seokmin to come with the supplies, thanks to Seoul’s uncharacteristic rains. When he knocked, Na bi immediately opened the door, grabbed the bag and shut the door, promising once again to explain everything when she had the time.

Although, she probably should have let him in because she really could have used an extra hand last night. All she had to do was a couple of sutures and usually, that didn't require much assistance but the moment Na bi freed Changkyun of his temporary torniquet, blood began to gush out like an open dam. By the time she had managed to get it under control, anesthetise, suture and dress his wound, he had lost far too much blood. And his consciousness.

Sitting on her couch, Na bi sipped on her coffee as she watched his unmoving figure. She had been watching him this way nearly all night. After she finished treating him, cleaned up all the mess, showered and changed into her pajamas for the night, she took a step back to reassess everything.

The day when she discovered Changkyun’s location, led him to her house and nearly slept with him…. she was drunk, she wasn’t in her right senses but now? Now she was entirely and consciously aware of her choices yet she didn’t know if she was making the right one. Curling up in her couch in the living space right across him, she let herself wander through the thoughts and possibilities. The wound on his back was clearly the result of an attack – did his enemies finally get to him? Wasn't she supposedly the key to finding him? How did they do it without her? Unless Changkyun assumed that she ratted him out? He wouldn't have come to her for help if he suspected that right? Or was he here for revenge? It was constant speculations like this that didn’t let her sleep.

That and Changkyun’s groans. Through all of last night, Na bi helplessly watched him suffer - moving every time he felt pain and hurting every time he moved. But for the last 2 hours or so, he was surprisingly still, making her eyes flicker between the clock and his back as she counted his breaths every once in a while. Hugging her knees, resting her head on it, she looked at the way his hair framed his face.

He was indeed beautiful; his features were the perfect combination of sharp and soft which truly made him attractive but he was nothing too irresistible. Definitely not enough to overlook the fact that he was a criminal, dangerous and clearly the kind one should strive to stay from as far as possible - it was hard to believe a little alcohol and hormones in her system had made her lose sight of that. Yet she did and here she was, having to face him once again, adding embarrassment to the mix of all the emotions she was feeling now.

Sighing, she tried to push her thoughts away and return to the book she was "reading" when she heard him groan softly again as he stretched his limbs, turning his head the other side. Na bi waited for him to go back to sleep but instead, he raised his head, looking out of the window, eyes squinting at the sun. He blinked a few times, registering his surroundings, froze for a couple of seconds and quickly sat up, panicking. Na bi held her breath, watching silently from across the room as he looked around for something before his eyes finally landed on her and what he was searching for.

His gun…..in her hands.

She had found it in his pocket last night - his gun, a pack of cigarettes and his lighter. Though a gun was the last thing she wanted in her home, she still had no idea what had transpired in the last 24 hours or what was going on in Changkyun’s head – she had to look out for herself, praying that she didn't have to use it for protection.

Changkyun looked at her through his dark fringes in the loud silence as she waited for him to make a move and he waited for her to do the same.

“Ms. Baek....” He finally took her name softly. “That does not belong in the hands of someone like you.”

Na bi scoffed. “Why? You think just because I am a woman I wouldn’t know how to fire? Or you think I’m a coward so I wouldn’t dare fire?”

“Neither.” He looked at her calmly yet his gaze was piercing. “I think that it takes lives, and you save them. Like you saved mine.”

Those were not the words she was expecting.

“Barely.” She muttered. “What were you thinking, coming here bleeding your guts out like that? You should’ve gone to a hospital-”

“I thought I was going to die…..” She could barely hear his soft tone before he cleared his throat, wincing as he moved. “……I had to go to someone I trust.”

Na bi blinked. “You don’t even know me.”

“Yet it looks like I made the right choice.”

He outstretched his hand, having entirely another conversation with his eyes, silently asking her to return what was his. Na bi gave it a minute of consideration before she threw the gun to him and he caught it in a flash.

“And the bullets?" Changkyun held it up in his palm as she blinked at him clearly feigning ignorance. “I can tell by the weight Ms. Baek.”

The weight of six miniscule bullets?

She tried not to glance at her kitchen and give away the location she had stashed them away.

“You may trust me, but I have no reason to trust you.”

“Fair enough.” He cocked his head at her. “Yet you saved my life.”

“I’m a doctor. I took an oath to.”

“Is that all?”

As always, she couldn’t read his expression, but his voice, it was laced with a memory. Na bi suddenly remembered kissing him that night, feeling the heat rise in her face.

“That’s all.”

He looked at her for longer than a while before humming in response and stashing the gun behind him, into his pant. She watched him as he got off the bed, straightening himself, wincing in the process.

“What are you doing?”

“Thank you for saving my life, Ms. Baek. But I should leave-“

“You can’t.”

“I can’t?” He raised an eyebrow.

“I can’t let you.” Changkyun looked genuinely surprised. “Not yet. You haven’t healed enough to be out there on your own.”

“I’ll manage-“

“Changkyun.” She looked at him dead in the eye. “I’m not giving you a choice.”

Now he looked amused. Rightfully so. Whatever made her think she was capable enough to stop him.

“It took me a while to realise but that wound on your back, it’s not an ordinary one. Whoever stabbed you must’ve lined the blade with some sort of anticoagulant because the wound just would not clot.” Either he didn’t understand what she was saying or his mind had already raced ahead. Either way, he was simply staring off into nowhere. “What I’m saying is, there was only so much I could do in my house. If we can get you to the hospital-“

“That’s not possible.”

“That you’ve made clear.” She watched as with each time moved, the crimson on his bandages got darker. “That makes me your only choice so listen to me. You've already lost a lot of blood and you cannot possibly afford to lose more."

He went silent like he was considering it. Na bi didn’t wait for him to come to a decision. She opened the wardrobe, pulling out a set of grey trackpants and a white t-shirt that had always been too large for her and threw it on the bed before him.

“Wash up. I’ll change the dressing after you’re done.”

He looked at them sceptically.

“They’re mine.” She clarified before he assumed they were an ex’s or something. “Clothes in the men’s section are cheaper and a better oversize.”

He reached for them, the edges of his lips curving into a slight smile. “You don't have them in blue for me?”

Maybe she should just let him die on the streets.

“Don’t let water fall on the wound.” She muttered below her breath as she walked away, finally taking her eyes off him.

Maybe Changkyun showering was not the best idea.

Of course, it helped hygiene wise but watching him walk around her house with his wet hair falling into his eyes, dressed so casually was, to accurately put it, painful. If she thought he looked jump-able in that suit with his hair slick back, the way he looked right now was so devastatingly boyfriend, Na bi wanted to scream into a pillow. Of course unlike that night, she wasn't going to stupidly act on it but having to roll kimbap and pretend not to watch him sit at the table, running his fingers through his wet hair was truly a challenge for her self-control. Please stop.

“I hope you’re okay with kimbap for lunch, it’s kind of the only thing I know how to make.”

He nodded. “I’m not picky.”

Silence took over yet again. Na bi forgot just how little this man initiated conversation but she desperately needed it to happen so her mind would stop wandering to terrible, terrible places.

“What happened after you dropped me home that night?”

“Why Ms. Baek, do you really not remember?”

Na bi could hear the smugness in his voice so she refused to look up and meet his eye. This was going to be a constantly recurring topic, wasn’t it?

“After you left.” She muttered, sharping her knife before cutting up the roll. “Wonho said you didn’t return.”

“You met Wonho?”

“He came to the hospital looking for you... or rather looking for me.” Changkyun’s eyebrows knotted in confusion. “I guess because I was the last one to see you before you disappeared?” She added. “And probably because all your men were getting treated there too.”

Changkyun stared at the knife in her hand. “They were in your hospital?”

Na bi nodded.

“Are they....okay?”

“They were treated on time.” She assured him as she placed the kimbap into a plate. “But they left too soon. Few of them were critical so I don’t know how being out of the hospital is working out for them….”

Was that worry on his face? Na bi set the plate before him but he simply stared out of the window.

“Was Wonho hurt?”

“No.” She sat down across him, pouring herself a glass of orange juice and then for him. “He seemed fine. Just worried about you.”

Changkyun continued to stay silent but Na bi needed more than that.

“What happened after you left that night?”

“I was driving back and then I was attacked.” He finally put a piece of the roll in his mouth. Na bi smiled to herself at his full cheeks while he munched on it before quickly realigning herself in the conversation.

“But you came to me the following night and your wound was quite fresh.”

“I was attacked but I escaped.” He sighed. “I don’t go alone anywhere Ms. Baek, my men were there that night too, tailing us.” Na bi recalled the black cars she saw in the rear-view mirror. “When I was attacked, my men managed to hold them off while I escaped. I was laying low till it I could figure out how to move again but they found me once more and…”

He made a weak stabbing motion with his free hand, making her wince at the imagery.

“So whoever has been going around looking for you has finally found you?”

He stuffed his mouth with yet another piece. “Seems like it.”

“Do you…” Na bi sipped on her drink. “Do you think I ratted you out?” Changkyun raised an eyebrow at her question. “Any sensible person would consider that.”

He shook his head. “As I said earlier, I trust you.”

“You continue to make me question your intelligence Changkyun. You have no reason to trust me-"

"Did you call the cops?” Na bi stared open mouth taken aback by the question. “You knew I’m not a good man. You knew I was in an easy, compromised situation. Yet you saved my life and protected me. So was I wrong to place my trust in you?”

For that, she didn’t really have any explanation to give him. Or herself for that matter. Why didn’t she call the cops? Why didn’t the thought even cross her logical, reasonable mind?

“Give my intelligence a little more credit Ms. Baek,” He smirked, enjoying her rare inability to respond, fingers circling the rim of his cup. “Are you forgetting my men had their eyes on you? I would’ve known if it was you.”

Of course. Now that made sense.

“Looks like they wouldn’t have to anymore though. Now that my identity is out, you are no longer relevant.”

For the first time in very long, Na bi felt a wave of relief - she was finally out of this mess. “So what are you going to do now? What about-"

“That’s for me to worry.” He downed the last of his juice, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"But-"

"Thank you for lunch Ms. Baek.”

And with that, Na bi knew the conversation had ended.

"You did what now?"

Seokmin looked at Na bi with absolute confusion etched all over his face.

"Keep your voice down!" Na bi looked up and down the stairwell of her building where she and Seokmin sat, deep in discussion. After lunch, she had texted him to bring a fresh set of dressing and some pain killers but this time, he refused to do so without receiving an explanation in exchange. So for the last half an hour, she sat with him, going over the events of the last few days of her life, leaving out only Changkyuns name in the process. Somehow, Wonhos warning to never ever take his name was ringing in her head.

"Na bi, this is madness, do you have any idea what you're doing?"

"I know." She sighed. "I know it's madness. I know what I'm doing. I'm just not sure it's the right thing."

Seokmin ran his hands through his hair. "You should've never involved yourself in this mess in the first place."

"It's not like I asked to be kidnapped accidentally-"

"I meant trying to reach out for Ana, going to her house, all of that."

"Seokmin you can't be serious. She was in danger-"

"You barely know her-"

"We barely know any of the people we treat, it doesn't mean we don't?!" She looked at him incredulously. "How was I supposed to sit back and just let someone be in trouble like that?"

"Well, thanks to your greatness, now you're in trouble."

"Not anymore." She mumbled, leaning back against the stairs. "My role's over now. The moment he's out of my house, everything ends - there's nothing left to tie us together."

"Then why is he still in your house?" Na bi stared at her friend wordlessly. "You treated him, he gained consciousness, why aren't you letting him go?.... Are you that attracted to him?"

Na bi rolled her eyes. "How stupid do you think I am Min-ah? Do you realise how shallow I would have to be to put physical attraction towards a person above everything else?"

"Then?"

"I owe him Seokmin. He could have killed me the moment I was picked in place of Ana. He chose to show me mercy that people like him don't necessarily need to have.” She habitually picked the skin around her nail. “I'm just repaying the debt."

"You owed him your life, not loyalty. He saved you, you saved him, now it's even. Why don't you just call the cops and-"

"If I do that and his men find out, they will hunt me down Seokmin." Na bi recollected the fierce devotion Wonho seemed to have for his boss. "Look, he's not a threat to me and I'm going to risk being a threat to him again. I'm just going to change his dressing, observe him tonight and send him on his way tomorrow. I don't plan to lose myself in this plot, I'm not that unreasonable."

Seokmin looked at her like he didn't believe her.

"I swear." She laughed. "After tonight, it's all over."

"For you," Seokmin sighed. "Poor Ana, god knows how she is. I mean, I don’t know her well enough either but I always thought her company was shady."

"Her company?"

"There was a guy who used to visit her in the hospital often. I don't know who he is, just that he always seemed to be dressed in suits? It's unusual for men to wear suits when it's 40 degrees you know? And they always looked so branded and perfectly tailored...."

Seokmin's voice faded away as an image of Changkyun in his suit flashed in her head. Of course it couldn't have been him, he didn't even know Ana. But Ana knew him. Other than Na bi, she was the only one who knew who Changkyun was. If his enemies caught up to him, did that mean they found her?

".... and the children really loved that" Seokmin looked at her. "Are you even listening?"

"I need to go." Na bi took the bag from him, and wrapped him in a quick hug. "Thanks Min-ah, I owe you!" She shouted as she ran up the stairs.

"I wish you would stop owing people for gods sake!" He screamed after her before his voice drowned out.

When she entered her apartment, Changkyun was sitting at the table, flipping through one of her books, lost in the words. He didn't look up even when she walked in, set the bag on the kitchen counter and started to empty it. It was only when she was looking around for the scissors that she realised that the counter was clean and her dishes were washed. Did he....

"It's in the drawer." He finally looked up. "The scissors."

Na bi pulled it open, finally spotting it and grabbing hold. (The bullets she had hidden were still right there, beneath the chopsticks.) Watching him struggle with his shirt, she walked over to help him, but he managed to pull it off. Standing behind him she got to work, slowly removing his current dressing and taking a look at his stiches.

"It looks fine. I think I'll changing the dressing once again tomorrow morning and you should be good to go."

Changkyun nodded and silence took over once again.

"You were right. I did save your life," She felt his eyes flicker towards her over his shoulder. "I’m a doctor and I did my job. But….." She began disinfecting his wound. "I have no reason not to call the cops."

Changkyun remained silent, letting her continue.

"I no longer need you to look out for my safety and I don't really have any reason to protect you so I can just have you arrested." She ripped open a bandage roll, unravelling it. "But I won't. If you do me a favour."

"I didn't realise you and I have come down to making deals with each other Ms. Baek." His voice once again betrayed no emotion, but it was hard. "That our relationship is one of business."

"What other relationship can you and I possibly share?" She questioned, not really sure what she was expecting in response as she tied the cloth around his torso.

After what seemed like an eternity, he finally asked. "What is it that you want?"

"Find Ana." Na bi stepped back, removing her gloves as he turned to face her. "If I'm safe and you're compromised it means whoever is after you managed to get to Ana - she was the only other source to get you. She may not be relevant or important to you but she is to me. So when I let you walk away from here freely, promise me you'll do whatever you can to find her."

"Promises are empty words Ms. Baek."

"Not for me."

He stared at her for longer than a moment before he nodded.

"I will do what I can."

For some reason, she decided to take his word for it.

Na bi handed him a fresh shirt, her father's old button down this time for more ease, grabbing the other one to throw in the wash along with all her sheets that were stained with his blood. When something dropped from the pile, she bent to pick it up, hands reaching for a pack of cigarettes.

"Smoking is injurious to health." She handed it to him, disapproving.

He chuckled. "Trust me, of all the things that's injurious to me, this is the least."

Na bi rolled her eyes. "Just don't smoke when I'm home please." She threw the load in the washer as he walked up to the couch, sinking into it. "I’ll be going out for dinner in a while anyways."

It wasn't like she was expecting him to ask anything further, but when he didn't, she added on her own. "I have to meet a friend, I couldn’t say no but I can order take out for you before I go if you want?"

He hummed, not looking up from his book, yet again lost in the words. Knowing the conversation was over yet again, Na bi resorted to her pending work - throwing on a fresh pair of sheets, changing the towels and drying the finished load in the balcony.

The entire time, Changkyun was fast asleep. He had barely gotten through a page before he passed out on the couch, curling up in its warmth. Na bi might have been busy but she did keep an eye on him. It was only when Mingyu texted her the location of their dinner that she diverted her attention. He had messaged her earlier in the morning too, reminding her of tonight's plan making her contemplate whether or not she should go. She was concerned about leaving Changkyun alone but then again, neither was he a child nor anyone important enough for her to put her personal life on hold. She replied that she was looking forward to seeing him, yet she somehow forgot all about it till a while go.

Dropping on the bed, hair fanning around she googled the location Mingyu sent. It looked classy and high end, enough to make her uneasy. Not that she didn't enjoy an occasional splurge but she wasn't sure if Mingyu and her were close enough yet for this kind of indulgence, it felt more like a 3rd or 4th date kind of place. And more importantly, she wasn't sure anything in her wardrobe would match this ambience. Groaning as she got up, Na bi sat before her cupboard, scouring through her clothes, picking out a few options. Looking over to make sure Changkyun was still asleep, she tried them on one by one, again and again, finally settling for a figure-hugging red dress that stopped mid-thigh. Realising she might run late, she quickly hopped into the shower for a quick wash then dried and styled her hair into a loose bun and even put on a little more makeup than her usual eyeliner and lip tint combination. Slipping on her dress, she struggled with the zip, trying all possible ways to reach for it on her lower back when she felt a presence behind her, slowly zipping her up.

"Dinner with a friend?" Na bi watched Changkyun's eyes trail down her figure then up, meeting her eye in the mirror across, her cheeks reddening under his gaze. So he was listening to her.

It wasn’t like she owed him any answers or explanation but he since he always seemed to answer her questions, she shook her head honestly. "It's a date."

Maybe they looked at each other for too long or maybe the sun was setting really quickly, but soon enough, dark shadows started to blurr everything around. It was only when the doorbell rang that Na bi pulled herself away from him and rushed to the door to collect the take out she had ordered.

"It’s pork cutlets." She placed it on the table before walking around him, avoiding his eye, as she grabbed her purse and threw on a few last-minute accessories for a little gold accent. "Make sure you eat on time and if you don't like it then there's instant ramen in the- ow!"

She rubbed her head where she knocked right into his chest, hurrying about around her house. As she peaked at him through one eye, he moved closer to her, making her eyes blow wide open as she walked back till her knees hit the back of the table, trapping her between it and him. Na bi swallowed on nothing as he bent to meet her at her eye level and with a swift move pulled the pin out of her hair, letting her waves fall loosely. She held her breath as he ran his fingers ran through her hair, draping it over her shoulder.

What was wrong with him? Why was he being so....territorial? Since the last two days, Na bi had constantly been wondering - was it only her who felt this undeniable attraction or did he feel the same way? Sometimes, she felt he couldn't care less, like he didn’t feel an ounce of what she did, but sometimes, like right now, when he looked at her like nothing else existed, she didn’t know anymore. Was he indifferent or was simply displaying extreme self-control, she couldn’t tell.

"Your scar still hasn't healed." He ran his finger over Wonho's little knife wound, before adjusting her hair to cover it. Oh. Was that all?

Apparently it was, because after that he walked around the table and started going through his take out like she didn't even exist anymore. Na bi stared wordlessly. Of course, look at him, hot mafia boss of the underworld - he probably had a whole bunch of a whole lot more attractive women at his beck and call, someone like her would barely matter. Yet the way he kissed her that night felt.....

Shaking the spiralling thoughts off her mind, Na bi put on her heels and grabbed a coat from the stand. It was only when she took a pencil from between her books and twisted her hair back into a bun that he finally looked at her again. Not giving him anymore attention, she took one last look at herself in the mirror and stepped out of her house, determined to make her way to the man waiting for her downtown - A man she had no doubt was truly attracted to her.

"I've never had this wine before but it tastes so familiar."

"Do you like it?"

Na bi nodded taking a sip but immediately shook her head when Mingyu offered to pour her another glass.

"I have to go to work tomorrow and more importantly, the board is gathering to take disciplinary action against me. I can't show up hungover."

Mingyu looked at her concerned, setting the bottle down. "I'm so sorry. You don't deserve that."

She truly didn't. From what she heard from Seokmin, she was most likely going to face a two- or three-week suspension for her "inadequate handling of the emergency room" yesterday. Bullshit. The attending was simply taking out her anger over Na bi's unprompted takeover of the emergency room when her incompetent son froze in the face of responsibility. Now using the excuse of Changkyun’s men's escape, she was trying to settle score in her own twisted way.

"Did you not go to work today though?" Mingyu looked at her over his glass. "I picked this place cause it was close to your hospital. I was going to offer to walk you from there."

"Oh." Na bi's mind ran through the list of all possible excuses, picking the worst one possible. "Yeah, I called in sick, terrible case of food poisoning, diarrhea and all."

Way to go Na bi, she chided herself. She was capable of a lot of things but telling a decent lie was just not one of them.

Mingyus face scrunched in worry. "Oh, maybe we should have pushed dinner to another day, I can cancel the seafood-"

"Relax" She patted his arm. "I feel fine now, your date is quite the tough girl."

The moment the words left her mouth, she pursed her lips, putting her glass down. Enough Na bi. She couldn't make a fool of herself yet again. That was the reason when the waiter brought wine to the table, Na bi immediately refused. Mingyu insisted, saying he had asked for this bottle in particular because he heard good things about it and convinced her to try a glass, which then turned into two and here she was, sprouting nonsense as usual. Mingyu though looked rather pleased with her words and surely had something to say in return when his phone started ringing. He cut the call.

"That's the third call you're declining." Na bi observed. "Are you sure it's okay?"

"It's just work." He murmured.

"Aren't your work hours for the day over?"

"Is a cop ever really off duty?" He chuckled, unlocking his phone to drop a quick text. Na bi reminded herself for the tenth time that night that she was sitting right across a member of law enforcement while a criminal munched on pork cutlets in her house. Why again did she think this dinner was a good idea?

"Do you enjoy your work?"

He nodded. "I won't lie, there are days where it gets overwhelming but end of the day, there's something satisfying about saving lives. You should know."

"I wouldn't. I save humans, not cats stuck on trees." She joked and Mingyu laughed.

"I could have you arrested for that Doctor."

"I dare you Officer." She grinned, downing the last of her wine. "Indulge me, what's the most interesting case you've seen in your career?"

"That's what you want to talk about on this, as you called it, date?"

"Would you rather exchange favourite colours and songs?"

He laughed shaking his head before slipping into thought. "I guess, the diamond robbery two years ago? Me and my buddy were the ones who caught the thief in the end. I got shot on the job too." He pointed at his shoulder. "What's your crazy work story?"

"Last year I pulled a 48 hour shift in the ER because of a terrible accident where two buses crashed into each other. The rains those days were so terrible, all 80 patients were taken to the closet hospital which happened to be ours and along with about 20 nurses, I was the only doctor on call." She took a bite of her pasta. "We saved 78 of them."

"Wow." Mingyu breathed impressed. "That must've been intense. I remember those rains last year, they were truly a hazard." He ran his fingers through his hair. "I was a part of the rescue operation for a building that collapsed. Pulled a three-day shift if I remember right."

"Wait, I was there too." Na bi added, surprised. "I wasn't really helpful though - my colleague and I were trying to get someone out from the rubble when someone moved the foundation and we ended up trapped inside for almost 2 days. I, unfortunately, needed to be admitted in the ER after that." She laughed.

Mingyu gaped at her, raising his hands in defeat. "Okay doctor, you win the crazy work story competition." He poured himself and her another glass. "I, unfortunately, am not one of the cool TV show cops with tons of stories to tell."

"Me neither." Na bi laughed. "That's pretty much all I have too. Maybe now we both can add '40 gangsters walking into the ER in broad daylight' to the list."

"I still can't believe that happened." He chewed on his food slowly. "Gang fights in Seoul, its like the 2000s again. My superiors at work talk about those times a lot - they were part of the 2011 WipeOut, and man, quite the story that is."

Na bi propped her head on her interlocked hands, ears perking for this conversation. Mingyu laughed at her curiosity.

"I don't know much details, just that back in the day, Seoul was drowning in crime - drugs, trafficking, money laundering, extortion, you name it. Mafia from Hong Kong and Japan have been here for decades, simply lurking around without much influence but these guys? They were locals, men who built and climbed their way into power so silently that by the time they were on top, they were pretty unstoppable. They were 3 of them - kingpin, the boss, the blackjack, the underboss and bigbucks, the consigliere. Together they quite literally showed the police force of this city what hell would look like on Earth." Seeing how she was ignoring her meal, Mingyu nudged her to take a bite before he continued. "It took a five year long undercover operation to finally get them. The crime branch slowly infiltrated the mafia and then in 2011, there was a big bust where many of them were thrown behind bars and the mafia was finally wiped out for good."

"Was it?" Na bi avoided meeting his eye as she focused on poking her salad. "Do you think the mafia no longer exists in Seoul?"

Mingyu looked at her like she said something ridiculous. "Of course it doesn't! I wouldn't say the city is entirely crime free, I mean you saw what happened just yesterday, but they are all just small-time criminals. I know for a fact that the mafia as an organisation no longer exists in Seoul. It can't."

If only he knew.

Na bi chewed on her food for long after that to avoid talking. Changkyun was right when he said nobody knew of him; evidently even the cops were clueless of his existence. Now someone had entered his playing field, pulled him out of his rat hole and was wreaking havoc out in the open already. Who could it possibly be?

The rest of the dinner was filled with casual conversation and laughter. Mingyu was a sweet guy - he was built like a Greek god, he made good conversation and was surprisingly witty and funny too, nothing short of perfect. Maybe on another day, Na bi would have taken more initiative but today unfortunately and to her own annoyance, Chankgyun was all that was on her mind, so the moment desert was done, she asked for the bill. Despite her refusal, Mingyu offered to drop her home insisting it was late and when Na bi got up from the table and felt her head spin a little, she took him up on that. She should have stopped with that second glass of wine.

During the drive, Mingyu sweetly let her play her playlist, genuinely enjoying her choice of songs and singing along rather loudly. Thank god for him, or given how both the wine and almost 2 days of lack of sleep was weighing down on her, she was sure to have passed out in his car. When they reached her building, he got off first, walking over to open the door for her and as Na bi stepped out, she looked up at her apartment, breath hitching in her throat.

The lights were off.

Reading her face Mingyu followed her line of vision asking if everything was okay and she shook it off saying it was. Had Changkyun left? His wound wasn't as severe and it wasn't like he would be helpless without her but something about him disappearing in her absence made her uneasy.

"Are you sure?" Mingyu asked again frowning, seeing her lost in thought.

She nodded. "Thank you for dinner today, I really had a good time." She walked a step back, watching Mingyu frozen on the spot and realised he was probably hoping she would invite him up but Na bi really could not bring herself to. Not tonight, not after the last few days she had, and not with both wine and a strange disappointment coursing through her system.

"I would invite you up but uh.....I think the.... diarrhea is kicking in again, it wouldn't be right-"

"Anyone ever tell you that you're a horrible liar doctor?" Mingyu laughed. "It's alright, I get it. It's okay if you're not interested-“

"I am." Na bi walked back to him, placing a soft peck on his cheek. "I do like you. I do want to do this again, and more. Just not tonight, I'm sorry."

"Don't apologise." He tucked the strands that were escaping her bun. "You shouldn't."

Putting aside everything in the world that seemed like a problem right now, Na bi pulled him by his dinner jacket, tiptoeing against his figure and kissed him. Mingyu froze, just for a second before his hands found her waist and kissed her back with a hint of desperation that reminded her of that night in the bar. Under the moonlight, on a quiet street, kissing a man who was enamoured by her, Na bi knew she should be savouring the moment a lot more but to her own dismay, she couldn't.

"Goodnight officer." She whispered against his mouth, walking back towards her building, taking one last look at his giddy smile.

"Goodnight doctor."

When she opened the door to her house, every other emotion she felt tonight dissipated. She was met with the silent darkness that she was used to coming home to but didn't expect to return to tonight. Sighing, she put her purse and coat on the table with and kicked off her heels before walking into her house, turning on the night lights. Dragging herself in, she threw herself into the freshly made bed before frowning and looking around.

Did he....

Na bi wasn't really a very messy person but earlier tonight she didn't have the time to reorganise everything, nor did she have the desire to hang out any longer around the very confusing energy she was getting from Changkyun. She had left the house rather annoyed that she would have to come back to a mess but now that she looked around, her clothes, her make up, her shoes, everything was back in its place and there was only one person who could have done it. Na bi scoffed not knowing what exactly to feel about this man - he seemed considerate enough to clean up after her but at the same didn't care enough to let her know before he disappeared. Half burying her face into the sheets, she let her eyes shut, recalling what he looked like right before she left. That was the last time she saw him. That was the last time she will ever see him.

Or maybe not.

Na bi wasn't really sure how long she was asleep but the touch of something soft on her face suddenly woke her up. Half confused, half terrified, her eyes fluttered open, catching sight of Changkyun's face hovering over hers, making her bite back a scream.

"You.." She scrambled in her sheets, sitting up. "You didn't leave?"

He looked perplexed. "Didn’t you ask me not to?"

Na bi swallowed the phantom lump in her throat looking around. How did she miss him? "The lights were off, you weren't here when I came back..."

"I prefer the dark." He confessed moving away as she got to her feet. "I was out in the balcony, getting some air when I heard you come back."

Na bi walked over and peered out of the glass of her balcony doors, looking at the buildings across. "You shouldn't have, you could have been seen...." She trailed off staring at the road realising that if Changkyun was standing here, he probably saw her and Mingyu…… But, did it matter if he did?

"You didn't remove your make up." He walked up to her and held out the wipe in his hand. "I thought I could..."

Muttering a thanks, Na bi took it from him, fidgeting with it in her hand, letting the loud silence take over as she wiped her off makeup slowly. Why was there suddenly a strange tension lingering in the air? It felt like that night again she confessed she was attracted to him - the hesitation to see who would make the first move, the uncertainty about anything even happening, everything felt so familiar. When Na bi turned to casually glance at Changkyun, he was already looking at her.

"You have..." His hand cupped her cheek, thumb brushing against her lower lip, removing the last traces of her gloss. Na bi held her breath, eyes searching his for a clear answer once again. She still couldn't find a no.

When his hand wouldn't part from her, her body leaned in, lips reaching for his when he tilted her face up, frowning.

"Ms. Baek, did you drink?"

"Just a little wine." She confessed, reaching for him again, only to meet with resistance.

"Then maybe you shouldn't-"

"You're not even a little bit attracted to me are you?" Na bi pulled herself away from him, giving herself some much-needed space. What was wrong with her, why couldn't she see? He didn’t ever initiate anything and every time she did, he only stopped her. What else did she need to hear to get it into her thick skull - he was not interested. "I'm sorry, I should just-"

"You think I'm not attracted to you?" Changkyun took a step towards her, making her take one back. "I might have zipped you up in that dress but the moment I saw you in it, I wanted nothing more than to rip it off you."

Na bi’s eyes widened. What?

"When you said my name for the first time, I wanted nothing more than to make you say it over and over and over again."

Her back hit the wall behind her as he caged her between his arms, hands pressed into the concrete by her side.

"Every time I see you it takes every nerve in my being to stop myself from......" He licked his lips eyes flickering down to hers. "From doing this, you have no fucking idea."

"Why do you stop yourself?" She whispered. Did this mean he too wanted…..

"Because you deserve better Ms. Baek." He let his hands fall to his side. "I'm not a good man-"

Na bi rolled her eyes. How chivalrous. "Yeah well, who's trying to marry you and have your kids?" Grabbing a fistful of his shirt, she pulled him closer to her. "I don't care about anything else as long as you don't rip the dress." She bit her lip, drawing his eyes to it again. "I like this one."

Changkyun cocked his head at her and for the first time, she could read him clear as day - he was giving her one last chance to back out. She tightened her grip on the fabric, reiterating that she didn’t want to. Go ahead.

Hands on her waist he spun her around, pressing her against the wall, fingers caressing the bare skin of her back as he unzipped her antagonisingly slow, mouth at the shell of her ear. "Please don't fall in love with me Ms. Baek."

Feeling him move away from her Na bi turned to see him stepping back, watching her. Slipping the fabric off her shoulders, she let the dress pool at her feet, before kicking it away. All she was left in was the black lingerie she had worn - quite frankly it was one of the simpler ones she owned but something hungrily darkened in Changkyun's eyes at the sight of it. Smiling to herself she walked up to him and worked the buttons of his shirt as he captured her lips in his once again, a lot more aggressive this time, making her legs literally go weak. As she stripped the shirt off his body, she felt his hand slip past the hem of her panties, down between her legs, fingers easily sliding between the wetness of her folds, making her moan softly into his mouth.

"Sweetheart, you're soaked." He smiled at the effect he seemed to have on her. "Do you want me that bad?"

Na bi looked at him with pupils practically blown in lust, and pulled on the drawstring of his pajamas, letting a finger run down over the tent in his pants, earning a satisfactory, low growl in return.

"I do." She answered honestly, sliding her hand into his pants, wrapping it around his hard length. "And looks like you do too."

Tugging her hand off him, Changkyun dragged her as he sank into the couch behind him, pulling her onto his lap. It was only when he winced in pain when she straddled him that Na bi realised-

"Changkyun your stitches," His mouth latched onto her neck, littering with kisses and bites. "We shouldn't-"

"Doesn't matter."

He unclasped her bra, sliding it off her, sending it somewhere across the room before he took her nipple in his mouth in a way that made her see stars.

"But...." She tried moving away when his tongue ran across her skin, making her melt back into him. "But if they rip.... I'll have to suture you again-."

"Then do it."

Mouth not leaving her breast, he guided her hips against his length, a loud moan escaping her.

"We've run out of anaesthetic, without it it’ll hurt like hell-"

"Then let it."

A shiver ran down her spine as he slid his hand between their bodies, slipping two fingers inside her, opening her up for him.

"Changkyun please," Her nails dug into his bicep as she felt that delicious stretch. "We can't.... we shouldn't-"

He let her go, pushing his fingers into her mouth instead, making her taste herself, he leaned in. "Ride me." He whispered, and that was all it took for Na bi's resolve to break.

Pushing aside her panties as he pulled himself out of his pants, she let him in, slowly sinking down on his length, finally claiming him for herself. She knew she wasn't prepped enough but she didn't expect to feel this full of him as she stilled, lips parting wordlessly.

"Fuck if this isn't so worth it." His wet fingers trailed down her neck, between her breasts, hands grabbing her hips once again and pushing her further down, making her whimper against him. Oh lord.

"Sweetheart-" Changkyun groaned as she clenched around him. "You need to move. I might just..."

Head thrown back, holding onto his shoulders to support herself, Na bi slowly let herself move up and down his length, the feeling easing in as she found a rhythm. All that mattered was him in her, his hands on her, his mouth exploring every inch, as she buried him in herself again and again and again-

"Look at you taking me so well." He grabbed her face, forcing her to meet his eye as she threaded her fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck. "It's like you were made for me."

Na bi nodded in agreement as she felt the knot inside her starting to tighten and the strength of her legs weaken.

"Changkyun please.." She begged and he immediately complied, wrapping his arms around her waist, holding her against him as he snapped his hips up, fastening the pace.

"You're not going to come till I do are you sweetheart?" Na bi shook her head, knowing it was more of a warning than a question. "Good girl." He whispered against her ear, earning an absolutely unholy moan as he hit all the right spots.

"Please, please, please-" She whimpered no longer able hold herself back. "Please let me come."

"You're doing so well sweetheart, just a little longer." He promised. "Where do you want me to-"

"Inside." She moaned, mouth practically watering at the thought of him emptying himself in her, filling her up. Pressing her forehead against his, Na bi looked into his eyes, getting lost in them as he fucked her into oblivion. His words from earlier rang in her head - Please don't fall in love with me Ms. Baek.

She shut her eyes trying to shut him out. She won't. She couldn't possibly.....

And when she opened her eyes again, she was greeted by the stars stuck on her ceiling and a strange unfulfilled emptiness between her legs.

She was still in her bed, fully dressed, not having moved even an inch since she threw herself onto it.

Was that all.... a dream?

As detailed images of her imagination flashed in her head Na bi groaned into her bed, curling up in shame. Of course none of that was real; just how desperate did she have to be for her subconscious to conjure something like that? How was she ever going to face him again? Not that she would ever have to, now that he was gone-

"Ms. Baek?"

Na bi immediately sat up at the sound of his voice, eyes falling on him standing by her kitchen in the dim light of her house. No, no, not another one. She pinched her arm to give herself a reality check, wincing in pain when it hurt. So he really was here?

"You- you were here all along?" She tried not to look at him as she slid off her bed.

"I was in the shower."

"Ah." Na bi finally pieced it all together - the lights, his absence. "I didn't see you when I got back.... I... uh thought you left."

"Didn't you ask me not to?"

Na bi froze at his choice of words, an echo of her imagination. God please don't let this be a dream, she couldn't possibly survive another one.

"But I'm going to have to leave now." He continued, getting her attention again. "My men have a lead on Ana."

"They found her?"

"Not yet, but they are closing in on her location." He tucked his hands into his pockets. "So I should go. I promised someone that I'd do what I can to find her."

Na bi blinked at him confused till she realised he was talking about her. Oh.

"I didn't want to leave without letting you know so I was waiting for you to wake up."

Na bi felt her heart race in her chest. Please don't fall in love with me Ms. Baek.

Thinking reasonably, she grabbed a paper, the pencil from her bun, and scribbled the names of a few medicines before handing it to him. "These should help with any pain."

He stared at her for just a bit before stashing it away in his pocket with a nod, walking to the door and turning as though to let her see him one last time.

Will I ever see you again?

She let the question remain unasked, lost in the silence between them. Now that they had nothing to do with each other anymore, Na bi wondered if they would run into each other for the third time - maybe then she'll finally have to start believing in fate.

And as fate had it, just over 10 days later, Na bi found herself frantically running down a street and just as she reached the corner, a black van pulled up next to her, history repeating itself as she was shoved into the darkness.

Next chapter

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