#Not to mention the reveal in the last 10 pages

[idyllghost]

I finally sat my ass down to finish the stupid book I was reading and what the fuck was that

[starlightkun]

⇢ word count: 16.3k ⇢ genre: fluff, college au, brother's best friend trope, christmas/holiday themed, baseball player!jisung, rich kids!reader and chenle, part of my 2024 hallmark movie marathon ⇢ warnings: chenle and reader are annoying as hell together lol (they love each other but would die before saying ily), everyone’s parents suck!, only minor proof-reading bc i wanted to post for christmas, FAKE pro baseball players mentioned (idk anything abt baseball and was not going to research any real baseball players and be wrong abt them ok) ⇢ extra info: this is part of my 2024 hallmark movie marathon, three short, unrelated fics starring jisung all with cheesy hallmark christmas movie-esque premises. there’s no continuing plotline between fics in this series, they’re all standalone fics ⇢ author’s note: ok so this one isn’t exactly “short” but as always, i got carried away. im just happy i got this one out in time and it didn’t end up being 20k+ lmao. anyway, this is my last fic of my 2024 hallmark movie marathon, and of 2024, and i hope you guys had as much fun reading them as i did writing them! happy holidays and i will be back with even more fics in 2025! ⇢ 2024 hallmark movie marathon

“I know what you’ve been trying to do this whole time. You’re not ‘very into baseball,’ you’re into Jisung.”

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 20

Clicking the ‘submit’ button for your last final paper of the semester, you let out a sigh of relief. You were done, for now. The time in the corner of your laptop read 10:58 p.m. You’d submitted with an hour to spare. Usually, you hated cutting it so close, but four of your five classes this semester had assigned fifteen-page papers, and you wanted to take your time researching, outlining, drafting, and editing all of them before the deadlines.

There were only a few other students scattered around the library so late on the last academic day of the semester. One table away from you was another student, a boy who had also been hard at work on his laptop for the greater part of the past four hours. You had seen him around campus, not in any meaningful way, but enough that his face was familiar to you. And tonight, you had been stealing glances at him—when he let out a groan or a sigh that rang a little too loud in the dead silence, pushed his hoodie off his head to reveal his dark hair and handsome features, or stood up from his chair to go to the vending machine around the corner and walk around the library to stretch his obscenely long legs. Yeah, you’d done a bit of ogling, you also needed a break every now and then.

He was still typing away at his laptop when you had packed up for the night and were heading out, your path taking you right by his table. You were never usually this bold, but maybe it was the rush from finally being done with finals week, or how late it was, but you found yourself stopping next to the end seat the cute boy was occupying.

Upon realizing that you were there, he looked at you with wide, uncertain eyes, slowly taking his headphones off. “Hm?”

“Are you going to be here till closing?” You asked him knowingly, a playful smile on your lips and bag of gummy candy in your hands. You had bought it during a vending machine break earlier in the night but never ended up opening it.

“Oh, I don’t know,” he smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m hoping only another thirty minutes…”

“Here.” You offered the candies out to him. “I’m done for the night.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” You set them down next to his laptop. Not wanting to take up any more of his waning time left to submit his assignment, you started off towards the exit again. “Good luck. Have a good break.”

“You too…”

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 21

“You didn’t get his number?!” Your roommate gasped in horror after you told her about the cute guy from the library. She had been asleep when you got home last night, and now the two of you were packing in preparation for your respective winter break plans. Sooyoung was heading back home while you and your brother would be driving to meet your parents at your family’s winter house in the mountains.

“Or his name,” you confirmed sadly. “I mean, the poor guy only had an hour left of the semester to submit whatever he was working on, there was no way he would’ve wanted me wasting it.”

“You have got to find him when we get back.”

“I’ll try,” you agreed.

There was a long honk from outside your dorm, and you rolled your eyes before peering out your window. Sure enough, your brother’s sleek black SUV was outside.

“Alright, I’ll see you in two weeks, Soo.” You hugged your roommate goodbye. Before you could even grab your bag, there was another obnoxiously long honk, followed by a series of shorter honks.

You immediately videocalled your brother.

Chenle picked up, already complaining. “Y/N, hurry up! You always take forever—”

“Shut the fuck up!” You retorted, flipping off the camera. “You’re so fucking annoying, I swear to—”

He laid on the horn again, and you could hear complaints start up outside from other people yelling at him to shut the fuck up. Then, you swore you heard another voice in Chenle’s car, quietly suggesting that he stop, but it was too indistinct for you to properly identify.

“Who was that?” You squinted at him suspiciously.

“I told you I was bringing a friend—”

“I know, I meant which one?”

“Get your slow ass down here and find out, or we’re leaving you!” With that, he hung up.

You pocketed your phone with a quiet scream, then turned to your roommate. “Ugh! Can you believe we’re related?”

“Yes,” she answered immediately, not even looking at you.

Hauling your stuff downstairs by yourself, you were a little out of breath by the time you shoved the front door of your dorm open. Your duffel bag started slipping down your shoulder, and as you readjusted that, you weren’t even looking out for the uneven slab of concrete that you knew stuck up in front of the entrance. Your toe caught on it, and you let out an unfortunate ‘eep!’ as you tripped forward. Your bag slid off your shoulder again, catching on your elbow and swinging around, the weight making you stumble a little more. You stayed upright, and you were thankful that only your brother and his friend saw all that. Yeah, Chenle was going to tease you for the entire three-hour car ride, and Mark or whoever was coming with would definitely get in on the ribbing, but you had plenty of dirt on them too. It was the natural order of things.

“Clumsy ass,” Chenle yelled at you from the car, the driver’s side window rolled down. You flipped him off on instinct. “Jisung, go help her before she hurts herself.”

Jisung. That was a new one. Admittedly, you didn’t know all of your brother’s friends, you two ran in different circles at school. You were usually introduced them in passing if you happened to run into each other at events, or some you knew from before college, like Jeno and Jaemin, the twins who lived next door to you guys growing up, or Mark and Donghyuck, who you all went to high school with.

A car door opened and closed before a tall figure was walking around the front of the car to meet you on the sidewalk. You blinked in surprise as you recognized Chenle’s friend that was approaching you, and not because of your brother. The cute boy from the library was standing in front of you, seemingly having a similar sense of déjà vu as he froze, hand already outstretched, reaching for your duffel bag.

“Hey again,” you chuckled, putting your bag strap in his hand. “Did you get everything turned in on time?”

“Yeah, I did.” Jisung unfroze and smiled at you, and you swore the sun seemed dim in comparison. “Thanks for the candy, by the way. Completely forgot to tell you that.”

“It’s okay, you were busy.”

“I’m Jisung, by the way.”

You nodded towards your brother’s car. “I had guessed.”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “Right.”

“I’m Y/N.”

“I had guessed,” he quipped back.

Chenle honked again, then yelled, “Come on!”

You rolled your eyes. “Pain in the ass.”

Chenle popped the trunk for you from his seat, and Jisung put your duffel bag in among their things that were already packed, then he took your suitcase to put away as well. As you opened the passenger door, your brother immediately shook his head.

“Nuh-uh.”

“What?” You looked at him incredulously. “I always get shotgun!”

“And Jisung gets carsick in the backseat.” He pointed at the boy standing awkwardly behind you. “I’m not having him puke all over my car. You’ll survive the backseat for once.”

Hating his condescending tone, but with no other option, you graciously stepped aside. Jisung gave you a quiet ‘sorry, thanks’ as he opened the back door for you. After buckling yourself into the middle seat and Chenle starting his music, everyone was ready to go.

“Y/N, Jisung,” Chenle made introductions over his shoulder, jabbing his thumb between you two. “Jisung’s on the baseball team and was in my bio lab last semester. Y/N is my annoying little sister.”

You kicked the back of his seat. “By ten months. As soon as you popped out, Mom and Dad were so disappointed they immediately decided to have another kid.”

“Regret saying yes yet, Jisung?” He asked his friend smugly.

Jisung, meanwhile, had been staring straight ahead at the road, clearly feeling uncomfortable as he didn’t want to get in the middle of your typical bickering.

“Ignore him, Jisung.” You leaned forward between their seats over the center console, your tone much more friendly. “So you’re on the baseball team? Do you have an athletic scholarship or something?”

“Yeah, yeah, I do,” he answered hurriedly. “Uhm, it’s the only way I could afford to go here. Full ride as long as I keep my grades up.”

You all did go to a rather expensive private university—your parents were alumni, they wouldn’t have sent you anywhere else, of course.

“Wow, so you must be really good, then.”

“I mean, I don’t know—”

“A full ride, I would think they only give those out to the best players, right?”

“Well—”

Chenle cut in, “You’re making him nervous, Y/N. Back up, for fuck’s sake.”

You didn’t back up. “Am I making you nervous, Jisung?”

“No, it’s fine,” he rushed to reassure you, finally turning around in his seat to face you. He let out a squeak as soon as he did, probably not anticipating that you’d be as close as you were. He sat back in his seat, propping himself up against his seatback on his forearm. “Uhm, it’s just that this is only gonna be my second season. Still a rookie, you know. I don’t think I’m that good.”

Jisung sort of reminded you of a little hamster when he was nervous like this, and your lips twitched with amusement. He really was cute.

“When’s baseball season?”

“Practice officially starts in January, first game’s in February.”

“Don’t you get cold out on the field?”

He shrugged self-consciously. “I mean, we’re moving around a lot. And we have hand warmers and stuff for when we’re on the bench.”

You kept eagerly asking him questions. “What position do you play?”

“Pitcher. I’m a switch pitcher—I can pitch left or right-handed—so they like that.”

“So it’s a surprise for the other team?”

“No, you have to declare which hand you’re going to pitch for each batter beforehand,” he admitted, then quickly tacked on, “But it still kinda throws them off!”

You hummed thoughtfully. “What about when you’re hitting the ball?”

“I could do either, but I prefer my right.”

“You’re never this interested in my friends,” Chenle interrupted accusatorily.

“Because I already know like, way too much about the twins, Hyuck, and Mark. Wish I could unlearn some of it, actually,” you snorted. “And you’ve been trying to get me into sports for our whole lives. What’s the problem?”

“Basketball,” your brother corrected you. “I’ve been trying to get you to watch basketball with me. Jisung plays baseball. Wrong sport.”

“Stop talking to me like I’m five,” you snapped, kicking his seat again.

“Stop kicking my seat like a five-year-old and I might,” he retorted.

You scowled at the back of his big head.

“I can see you pouting in the rearview mirror.”

You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms, flopping back against your seat.

“Saw that too.”

“Wasn’t trying to hide it!” You snipped back childishly. Turning your focus back to Jisung, who was looking out the passenger window, you asked, “Is he like this to you, Jisung?”

“Don’t answer that,” Chenle directed him before the other boy could open his mouth. “She’ll tire herself out.”

“Oh, you’re insufferable!” You spat. “Talking about me like I’m not even here! Or like I’m Daegal!”

“Well, Daegal is actually trained.”

“Pull the car over, I’m going to beat your ass!”

“Hey!” Surprisingly, it was the soft-spoken Jisung who raised his voice over the sounds of you two fighting, shocking both of you into silence. He continued, “Chenle, you’ve been antagonizing Y/N ever since we pulled up in front of her dorm, man. Then you act like she’s crazy for being pissed off at you. It’s honestly pissing me off.”

Chenle huffed loudly, drumming his thumbs on the steering wheel, before he finally said, “Fine. Sorry, Y/N.”

“Yeah, whatever. Thanks for apologizing because Jisung told you to.” You unbuckled and scooted over to the seat behind Jisung, buckling back in and looking out the window at the scenery rushing by.

The car was silent other than Chenle’s music, which he turned up as you pulled out your phone.

[you: i found out cute library guy’s name]

[soosoo: omfg the cia has nothing on u]

[soosoo: SPILL]

[you: i didn’t stalk him, turns out he’s my brother’s friend. his name is park jisung and he’s on the baseball team]

[soosoo: your brother’s friend that you’re going to be ALL ALONE WITH in the mountains for the next TWO WEEKS???]

[you: not ALL ALONE, chenle will be there, remember?]

[soosoo: unfortunately]

[soosoo: WAIT i found him on the team’s roster online and WHEW GIRL]

[soosoo: attached image.]

It was a screenshot of Jisung’s athlete profile on the university’s sports page. The small ID photo he had on there honestly did him no justice.

[soosoo: how is ur brother always friends w the HOTTEST GUYS who ALSO PLAY SPORTS????]

[soosoo: i need him to hook me up fr]

[you: don’t tell me ur thinking abt jeno and jaemin rn]

[soosoo: always]

[you: u don’t need chenle to hook u up if u rlly want, im friends with them too??]

[soosoo: YOU WOULD????]

[you: but you’d have to pick one]

[soosoo: god i am not your strongest soldier]

[you: exactly what i thought]

At the mountain cabin, you three were the first ones there, of course. You parents wouldn’t be arriving until Christmas Eve due to their work schedules. The house was already decorated like something straight out of a Hallmark movie—lights, red and green bows, candy canes, baubles, and other decorations all throughout.

“Wow,” Jisung breathed out, stopping in the foyer and turning around, his eyes wide as he took it all in. “Your parents are really into Christmas, huh?”

“Not really.” You had also stopped to watch his slow circle of awe. “They pay somebody to set it up.”

The wonder dropped off his face and was replaced with confusion, his brow furrowing. Chenle yelled for him from further in the house, and you jerked your head for him to follow. Your brother was at the threshold of the hallway where all your rooms were located.

“Yours is there,” Chenle pointed Jisung to one end of the hallway as you slipped by him to head to the bedroom at the other end. “Y/N’s is on the other side.”

“We share a bathroom,” you called over your shoulder as you opened the door. “Don’t use all the hot water in the morning!”

“And I’m upstairs.” Your brother indicated to a small ladder between Jisung’s room and the bathroom in the middle. “I got the loft. Won it in rock-paper-scissors almost two decades ago.”

“You cheated!” You reminded him loudly from where you had started unpacking your things in your room.

“Sore loser!”

“Sore winner!”

“Anyway, holler if you need something.”

You were still unpacking when there was a soft knock at your open door. It was Jisung leaning in your doorway.

“Hey,” he greeted you quietly.

“Hey.” You smiled at him brightly. “Bathroom’s the middle door. We both have doors that connect to it, so knock before we go in? Even if the light is off?”

“Yeah, sounds good.”

Jisung continued silently watching you unpack, then finally blurted out, “You egg him on.”

“Huh? Who?”

“Chenle.” He held his hands up in front of him defensively as you opened your mouth. “I know he started everything back in the car, but you didn’t help.”

You sat back on your feet in front of your open suitcase and dresser drawers. “Yeah, I know I’ve got a temper problem. I need to work on it.”

“I didn’t say anything in front of him because I kind of got the feeling that he was being extra mean because I was there.”

“When we’re hanging out with friends that we kinda share, like Jeno and Jaemin or whoever, it’s fine. You know, they met both of us at the same time. But I think when we’re with people that are his friends, it’s different,” you explained, gesturing to an armchair in the corner for Jisung to sit in while you talked. “We were always in the same grade and stuff, so obviously people assumed we were twins. That’s also why he really gets on the ‘little sister’ thing. When we got to college, we were both relieved to finally be different people, you know? Have different friends, different things that were ours.”

“You seem to understand him really well.”

“Known him my whole life,” you pointed out. “And just because I understand why he acts like this doesn’t mean it still doesn’t piss me the fuck off.”

“To answer your question from the car, no, he doesn’t treat me like that. He’s sarcastic, sure, but not like that.”

Zipping up your empty suitcase, you started on your duffel bag that was on your bed. “Sorry you had to deal with us like that, even more so that you had break us up. I’m sure the next two weeks were flashing before your eyes, huh?”

“Honestly, I’m just glad you didn’t actually start beating him up,” he chuckled.

“Me too, that would’ve been embarrassing.” You added, “For him. To get his ass beat in front of one of his buddies.”

He looked out the room down the hallway, checking to see if Chenle was coming, then admitted, “Don’t tell him, but I was sort of calculating how many swings to let you get in before it would look unreasonable for me to not intervene.”

“Oh really? And how many would you have ‘let me’ have?” You grinned, using finger quotes over ‘let me.’

“One good punch and a hair pull, I think.” He looked to be sizing you up, a teasing glint in his eye. “You seem like you fight dirty like that.”

“Could claim you didn’t want to hurt your friend’s little sister, let me get a few more in.” You mimicked punching and kneeing the air. “At least let me knee him in the balls.”

“I’ll consider it in the event you two do actually brawl while we’re here.”

You looked up at the ceiling, thinking about your brother up there somewhere. “Eh, we’ll make up properly soon. One thing about us, we fight a lot, but it’s never for that long.”

“Okay, now I’m worried about the next two weeks.”

You laughed, maybe a little harder than his joke warranted, but you couldn’t help it—he was cute, he was funny, and he was making your chest feel tighter and your head spin faster the longer you were around him.

“Why are you in here?” Chenle had appeared in your doorway, looking genuinely perturbed at the visage of Jisung sitting in your chair.

“Because we’re talking?” You answered for him. “Or is he only allowed to talk to you while he’s here and I have to take a vow of silence?”

“Pretty much, yeah,” he snickered, walking in and flopping on your bed.

“You first.”

“You want to do lunch in town then get the tree?” He checked the time on his phone. “Mom and Dad know how much you like Christmas tree shopping so that’s the only thing not done.”

“Or is it just another responsibility to pawn off on someone?” You snorted, opening the door into the adjoining bathroom to put your toiletry bag away.

Your brother’s distant voice called after you, “Even if it is, we can still have fun!”

You took a deep breath, and came out of the bathroom with a smile on your face. “You’re right. Let’s do it.”

“Ew, stop that, it’s creepy.” Chenle threw a pillow at you.

You caught it and chucked it right back at him. “What? Smiling?”

It hit him in the face before falling to the floor. “Yeah, exactly. I’m done trying to cheer you up, keep being a little Grinch, it suits your face better.”

You climbed on the bed and grabbed a pillow to smack him with it. “Quit being fucking rude!”

He laughed and cackled, rolling away from your pillow attack until his eyes went wide with panic as he went right over the edge of the mattress and landed on the floor. It was your turn to burst into laughter at the sound he made, and when he started groaning and complaining, you knew he was fine. Jisung was also laughing from his seat.

You finally gathered yourself enough to peer over the edge of the bed, looking down at where Chenle was sprawled out dramatically like a cartoon character that had been crushed by an anvil. As soon as he looked at you, he started giggling too.

“What about this one?” Mr. Song, the elderly man who had run the Christmas tree farm in town for as long as your family had been coming for the holidays, was showing you around to the various trees they had for sale.

“Ah, too skinny.” You shook your head. “We have a lot of ornaments. And a vaulted ceiling too, so we can get a taller one.”

“Right, of course. How could I forget?” His eyes crinkled fondly as he walked you around by the elbow. “You and your brother have gotten so big, Y/N. I remember when you two were up to my knee. Always playing hide and seek in the trees.”

“We used to think you were Santa Claus,” you giggled, gesturing to his big, bushy beard. “We told everyone we knew that we got our Christmas tree from Santa every year.”

“Good to see that Chenle and your boyfriend get along so well.” He nodded to where Chenle and Jisung were throwing snowballs at each other. More accurately, Jisung was pelting them at Chenle with scary precision, and Chenle was doing his best to throw some back in between peals of laughter.

“Oh, Jisung is Chenle’s friend from school, he’s not my boyfriend,” you clarified quickly.

“My mistake.” Mr. Song patted your arm.

After circling the next one Mr. Song showed you, you were content, inspecting how dense the branches were, the height, and general shape.

“Guys!” You yelled out to get Chenle and Jisung’s attention. They ceased their (unfair) battle, meandering over to you. “What do you think?”

Chenle gave it a once-over before nodding. “Great pick as always, Y/N.”

“Is that going to fit through the front door?” Jisung asked skeptically, trying to fit his arms around it to gauge the size.

“It will,” you promised as Chenle pulled out his checkbook.

Two of Mr. Song’s grandsons brought the tree up to the cabin in their truck, and you had to open both front doors all the way for them to carry it in. They got it set up in the corner for you, and you sent them on their way with an extra cash tip.

“We’ve got to let the branches settle before we can decorate it,” you advised Jisung. “So we’ll do that tomorrow.”

“Y/N’s got a whole thing about the tree,” Chenle added from one of the couches, turning the TV on.

“Smells nice,” Jisung piped up.

“Did your family have real trees or artificial ones?” You asked, taking up the other couch.

Jisung seemed to momentarily panic about where to sit, before taking the empty space at the end of Chenle’s couch, facing you. “A fake one. It came with the lights already on. Easier for my mom to set up.”

“One or two?” Chenle asked abruptly.

“What?”

“Two!” You answered, and Chenle immediately played a movie from whatever streaming service he was scrolling through. You went to fill Jisung in, “It’s a game we like to play. One of us will assign numbers to things in our head without telling the other, and you have to reply with a number without really knowing what you’re picking.”

“I couldn’t decide which movie to watch,” Chenle added.

“So, instead of a coin flip, you used Y/N?” Jisung clarified.

“Sort of. You can do it for more than two options. Like…” You tilted your head back and forth as you tried to think of one on the spot. As soon as you had, you perked up. “One, two or three?”

“Three?”

“Hot chocolate it is.” You stood up from the couch and headed towards the kitchen.

Jisung turned in his seat to keep you in his eyesight. “Wait, what were the options?”

“That’s part of the fun.” You smiled. “Sometimes you never know.”

A few minutes later, you came back into the room with three mugs of hot chocolate, and handed one each to Chenle and Jisung before sitting back on your couch.

Several movies, rounds of various video games, and large pizzas later, you were beat. Standing up from your couch, you stretched and started grabbing everyone’s plates.

“I’ll get these if you guys put the food away?”

Chenle gave you a thumbs-up, his eyes locked on his phone screen.

“Night!” You tossed back over your shoulder as you traipsed out of the room.

“Night!” Your brother echoed.

“Goodnight!” Jisung replied.

As soon as you were bundled up in your blankets in your room, you videocalled Sooyoung. She picked up, the familiar scenery of her childhood bedroom in the background.

“Hey!” She beamed. “How was day one? Kill Chenle? Make any moves on cute library guy?”

“We know his name now, Soo!” You laughed.

“But a nickname is so fun and mysterious!”

“I did almost kill Chenle in the first ten minutes of the car ride,” you groaned. “Jisung surprisingly came to my defense.”

“Your brother’s friend took your side against him? Wow…”

“He’s really sweet, he’s making an effort to be my friend too.”

“Friend? Or something else?” She waggled her eyebrows.

“I don’t know, it’s been one day,” you giggled, rolling over onto your back. “Anyway, how’s your family?”

You stayed up chatting for another hour before finally going to sleep, giddy with thoughts of what could happen tomorrow.

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 22

In the morning, with no alarm for class to get you up, you woke up, rolled over, and went back to sleep several times. Eventually, you decided that it was time to get up, and slowly shuffled out of your room. Chenle was already up, by the stove cooking something. Jisung was nowhere in sight, probably still sleeping.

Upon hearing your footsteps, he looked over his shoulder. “Morning.”

You grunted back.

“Mom called.”

You made another noise of acknowledgment, still rubbing sleep out of your eyes as you lumbered over to your seat at the table. Your brother set a plate of pancakes down in front of you, and you squinted up at him suspiciously. Typically he would’ve made you get your own plate, or more likely, make your own food. Actually, it was kind of weird that he was up before you. He must not have gone back to sleep after talking to your mom. It wasn’t unusual for her to have called early in the morning—your parents’ work took them all around the world, and often the only free time they could find had them calling at odd hours.

“They’re not going to make it for Christmas, Y/N,” he told you softly, still standing next to your chair.

“Of course,” you scoffed, lip curling with distaste as you picked up your fork.

“They’ll be here on the 26th, and we can do everything with them then.”

“Are they staying for New Year’s?”

His silence was all the answer you needed.

“Of course,” you repeated with more venom in your tone than before, dropping your utensil back down onto the table. “What the fuck else should we have expected? Honestly, why do they even fucking bother?”

He put a hand on your shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

“No, Chenle, don’t apologize for them.” You patted his hand. “It’s not your fault.” Pushing your chair back, you stood up. “I’m not hungry right now. I’m going out back.”

“I’ll save your plate.”

Shoving boots on your feet and pulling a heavier coat on, you opened the door in your bedroom that led directly out onto the back patio. It had snowed last night, so you had to shuffle through the fresh layer to get to the swing seat back here. The cold morning air bit at your nose and cheeks, and you tucked your hands into your pockets to keep them warm—you’d forgotten gloves. Sighing, you watched your breath fog up in front of your face, until your tears overtook your vision and you couldn’t see anything past them.

You pulled your knees to your chest on the porch swing, pushing your face into the thick material of your pajama pants. Why did it still hurt so bad? They did this all the fucking time.

The sound of feet crunching snow came to your ears, and you wiped at your face as you looked up at who was approaching you. It was Jisung, two steaming mugs in his gloved hands.

“Uhm, Chenle said you weren’t hungry. Does cider count?” He offered one out to you.

You chuckled, accepting it, grateful to have something warm to wrap your chilly fingers around. “No, it doesn’t. Thanks, Jisung.”

“It’s pretty out here,” he commented, looking around at the scenery. “Or not, if you want me to go back inside.”

You laughed again, gesturing to the empty half of the porch swing next to you. “You can stay.”

Jisung brushed off the snow from the rest of the porch swing before sitting down. He wedged his mug of cider between his legs and you watched him curiously as he started taking his gloves off. He offered them out to you, making you shake your head.

“I’m fine, I’ve got the cider—”

“So do I.”

“Then how about this.” You plucked one glove from him and put it on your right hand, which was holding the handle of the mug. Your left cradled the body of the mug, where all the warmth was. “Glove goes on the colder hand.”

He chuckled, slipping his remaining glove on his left, and wrapping his right hand around the mug. “Innovative.”

“Thank you.”

The smile faded as he turned more somber. “I’m sorry to hear that your parents’ plans changed.”

You took a sip of the cider, staring out at the still landscape of snow-covered trees and mountains. “Me too. You think I would be used to it by now.”

“Chenle was talking about maybe going to this ice-skating place later. If you’re feeling up to it.”

“That’s what’s nice about having him. No matter how much stupid shit we fight about, we’ve at least got each other when they do stuff like this.” You half-smiled to yourself. “You know, sometimes I think they did that on purpose. Had two kids instead of one so they wouldn’t feel guilty about leaving us alone all the time.”

The tears had come back, and you wiped at them with your bare hand, not wanting to soil Jisung’s glove that he had given you. Shaking your head at yourself, you said derisively, “I’m sure I seem pathetic to you. Rich girl crying in her family’s winter vacation home because mommy and daddy won’t make it for Christmas.”

“I don’t think you’re pathetic.”

You turned your gaze to Jisung to find him already looking at you, so sincerely, too. Swallowing down more tears, you asked, “Why aren’t you home with your family? I’m sure you’d much rather be with them than stuck here with us.”

“My parents are divorced. Every year, my dad and his wife go on some cruise for Christmas, and my mom spends it with my stepdad’s family. They say I’m welcome there, but they’re all strangers, except my mom.” He shrugged half-heartedly, blowing across the surface of his cider. “I know it’s kinda my fault too, I’m not making an effort to get to know them or whatever. But I just… don’t want to.”

“How’d you end up coming along with Chenle then?”

“Last year I stayed at school for Winter Break. Met Chenle in the spring, and when Winter Break plans came up this year, he was appalled at the idea of me eating at the dining hall for Christmas dinner.” Jisung chuckled, and you smiled fondly, able to imagine your brother’s horrified face. “It wasn’t even an offer, he decided for me.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re here instead of eating dining hall food by yourself.”

“Me too.”

“And I’m sorry your parents suck too.”

“Shitty parents club.” He held his mug out to you.

You clinked your against it in a commiserative toast. “We need Chenle out here for our full membership.”

“Yeah, but this swing only fits two people…”

You smiled a little as you sipped your cider. “Then I guess it’s just us for right now.”

Jisung smiled back. “Guess so.”

That afternoon, as promised, you three went ice skating. The local nature reserve had a lake that always froze solid, and would rent out ice skates and sell hot chocolate and other treats to earn a little extra income—free admission if you brought your own skates. You were the first one to get your skates on, and shuffled onto the frozen lake excitedly. There were a few other people out here—couples, families, groups of friends—but the area cordoned off for ice skating was big enough that everyone had plenty of room to spread out. A wide smile immediately spread across your face. Chenle knew you well, which was a blessing and a curse. He knew exactly how to push your buttons and cheer you up.

Speaking of, your brother smoothly skated up next to you, smug look on his face. “Better?”

“With a head that big, I’d hope you’d have a good idea every so often,” you teased, lightly bopping him through his beanie.

“Ungrateful.” He snapped one of your earmuffs against your head, not hard enough to hurt.

You two had been milling back and forth waiting for Jisung, and you looked back over at the bench where you’d all been tying up your skates to find him still sitting there, fiddling with the laces.

Chenle followed your gaze. “What is he doing? He had them tied when I got up, I thought he was right behind me.”

You shrugged, exiting the ice to stop in front of Jisung on the bench. “You alright?”

“Yeah, I just—” Jisung swallowed, squinting and scrunching up his nose nervously. “I’ve only been ice skating once, and I was a kid, so…”

“You don’t know how,” you finished.

“I mean—Yes.”

“Come on.” You offered out your arm out to him.

He waved his hands as he refused. “I’m going to do something stupid like fall and end up breaking your arm or—”

“No, it’ll be fine,” you assured him. “Seriously, I did ice skating lessons as a kid.”

“You did?”

“You’re in good hands, I promise.”

Jisung grabbed your arm, and using both you and the bench as leverage, stood up. He looked around warily as you patted his back.

“There you go, you got it. Now, you get to walk until you get to the ice.” As you coached him through the basics of operating his skates, you slowly guided him closer to the edge of the ice. You stepped onto the ice first, keeping a hold on both of his gloved hands for him to cautiously join you, one foot at a time.

“You didn’t think to tell us you’ve never skated?” Chenle questioned dryly as he joined you two.

“I have!” Jisung defended himself. “Once…”

“Well Y/N can teach you,” he offered you up. “She used to do lessons, till she got kicked out.”

“Wait, for what?”

You rolled your eyes at your brother just having to bring that up. Nudging Jisung forward to start moving his legs, you began relaying the story, “I called my coach a bitch to her face and refused to apologize.”

“Just because or…?”

“First of all, I was seven, so impulse control wasn’t even in my vocabulary. Second of all, she called another little girl in the class fat to her face! She had just gotten a new competition dress, it was this really pretty purple one with sparkles and stuff all over it, and the teacher told her she shouldn’t wear it because something about the pattern made her look bigger or something ridiculous. A seven-year-old! She’s just lucky she didn’t get an ice skate to the face!” Your rant picked up steam and volume as you continued, feeling freshly pissed off as you recalled the incident.

Jisung frowned, looking troubled as well. “That’s awful.”

“I know! Honestly, I’m glad I got kicked out. I hated that woman.” You pulled him away from a divot in the ice. “Watch out. Don’t want your blade getting caught in that.”

“Thanks. You seem to have retained a lot.”

“I didn’t get very far before I was booted,” you scoffed. “But I guess we still went to rinks and out here pretty frequently, so I haven’t lost the basics, at least.”

“So are we decorating the tree later?”

“Yep, should take the rest of the day.”

“Seriously?”

“We’ve got a lot of ornaments.” You snickered at his wide eyes, looking to your other side where Chenle had been skating for confirmation. Instead, your brother had disappeared. Confused, you scanned the figures on the ice, finally spotting him far ahead of you, skating backwards at an impressive speed. “He left us.”

Jisung finally detached his eyes from where they’d been glued on his feet, chuckling when he saw Chenle as well. “He’s not very patient, is he?”

“Not a virtue he was born with, no.” You turned your attention back to Jisung. “Think you’re getting the hang of it?”

His grip tightened on your arm. “If I say yes, are you going to let go of me?”

“No,” you laughed. “Not until you’re ready.”

“Oh, thank God.”

“But let’s try this.” You moved to hold both his hands, skating backwards in front of him. “Okay?”

“You can’t see behind you,” he said, nervously glancing between your face and over your shoulder.

You checked over your shoulder. It was clear, and you redirected your path to make sure you weren’t heading directly at the next closest people. “I’ve got it.”

“I feel like I’m leaning forward too much, how do I—Wah!” The distinct clank of Jisung’s skates hitting each other rang out, and he fell forward.

Not wanting him to faceplant into your skates or the ice, you braked and tensed your arms to try to keep him up. However, since you had braked and he obviously did not, his forward momentum sent him catapulting directly into you. His arms wrapped around your waist as his legs scrambled against the ice trying to find his footing again. You readjusted your hold on him to clutch him under the arms in an attempt to keep him up, but with all the layers that you were bundled up in and the slippery ice, it was a losing battle. You were a good skater, but you couldn’t haul him back to his feet like this. So you decided to just let the two of you slowly descend, squatting down until you could plant your butt on the ice and kick your feet out on either side of Jisung, careful not to hit him with your blades.

“You alright?” You asked him, pulling his beanie back from where it was entirely obscuring his eyes.

“Please tell me I’m dead,” he groaned, the half of his face that you could see was completely pink and his eyes were squeezed shut. His head was pressed against your middle as he was still clinging onto you.

“No, you survived that,” you laughed. “And so did I. No broken arms or other bones.”

“Will you kill me anyway?”

A spray of ice showered both of you as Chenle stopped next to you guys, proceeding to double over with laughter. “Clumsy ass.”

“Nice, thank you,” you scoffed, wiping off the cold ice from your face, then a couple drops that had gotten on Jisung’s cheek. “Anytime you’d like to quit being an asshole and help us up.”

“I don’t know, you two look pretty cozy to me.”

Jisung somehow turned even redder, squirming in your grasp. “Y/N, I’m sorry!”

“Chenle, shut up!” You scolded your brother. “You’re making Jisung freak out and he’s going to hurt himself!”

“You make him sound like a scared prey animal,” he snickered. Letting out a sigh, he patted his friend’s back. “Alright, Jisung, come on.”

With Chenle’s assistance, Jisung got to his feet, and you were then able to stand back up on your own. Brushing snow off your legs, you shivered, and saw that the entire front of Jisung’s pants were soaked through thanks to the ice, and you could feel that the back of your own had suffered a similar fate.

“I think that’s enough ice skating for today,” you declared. “My ass is quite literally going to freeze off if we stay out here any longer.”

Jisung nodded quickly from where he was clinging onto Chenle to stay upright now. “I’m skated out.”

“Good thing my car has heated seats then,” Chenle said, beginning to drag his friend back towards the exit.

After a hot shower and in a fresh change of warm pajamas, you were in front of the Christmas tree with all of the boxes of decorations for it. You had already wound the lights around it when Jisung joined you in the living room, hair still damp from his shower—he’d given you first shower out of guilt.

“Hey, you know where Chenle is?” You asked, flipping open boxes of ornaments. Chenle’s loft bedroom had a private bathroom, so you figured he’d be out by now.

“He got a call—Mark, I think,” Jisung informed you.

“Oh, that’ll take an hour,” you snorted. “You can help me. Put any ornaments that have Chenle’s name on them aside, he gets to put those up whenever he’s done.”

“Any ornaments with your name are yours to put up?” He guessed, reaching into a box and pulling out an ornament in the shape of a bear with a Santa hat on. The white band of the hat had ‘Chenle’ written in cursive.

“Yep. Everything else is fair game for you. Quick tip, any bear ornaments will be Chenle’s. That’s his parent-assigned motif.”

“Got it. And what’s yours?”

You held up the honeybee ornament that you’d just fished out, letting it dangle and twist in the air, the yellow gems catching the light. “Bees. They had a theme, kind of.”

“I’ll keep an eye out.” He reached up to hang a blue and gold ornament on a higher branch, though you could feel his eyes on you as you put your own up on a middle branch. Finally, he blurted out, “Are you sure you didn’t get hurt earlier?”

“Yeah, Jisung, I’m okay,” you chuckled. “Really, we were both wearing so many layers we were practically bubblewrapped.”

He visibly relaxed. “Okay, good.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. But I crashed into you, not the other way around.”

“True, but you had a much less graceful descent.”

He visibly grimaced, a bashful smile on his face. “Mm-hm. Thank you for bringing that up again.”

“Pretty sure you brought it up again,” you teased, nudging his arm with yours as you reached in front of him to hang an ornament.

“And I would love to change the topic now.” He grabbed an ornament in the shape of a snowman.

“What’s your major?” You decided to save him this time. “You and Chenle had bio lab together, but I know he took bio for non-majors, so you’re not a STEM major either…”

Jisung made a buzzer noise, and you blinked at him in surprise. He cracked a grin as he said, “Cybersecurity.”

“Ah, so you’re a baseball jock and a little computer geek…” You nodded slowly, grabbing another ornament. “The duality of man, truly.”

“Geek?” He repeated incredulously.

“What? I think it’s cute.” You giggled and put up the glass snowflake in your hand. Then, you turned back to him hopefully. “Ooh, actually, my laptop gets possessed sometimes ever since Chenle clicked on one of those sketchy porn pop-up ads when we were fourteen. You don’t think you would be able to take a look at it sometime, would you?”

Jisung visibly sustained whiplash at your words, his head jerking back and eyes going wide before he furrowed his brows. “Wait, what? How old is your laptop? He did what to it? What do you mean it gets possessed? What exactly does it do?”

“Uhm… it’d probably be easier to show you.”

“Y/N, this thing is old enough to drive.”

You put your hands on either side of your laptop’s screen as if you were covering its ears, giving Jisung a stern look. “Sh! You’re going to hurt her feelings!”

He continued to look at you over his glasses, entirely unamused. This was the first time you’d seen him wear them—even in the library, he’d had contacts in. Now, with him wearing his casual clothes, glasses, sitting on your bed and attempting to fix your laptop, you felt like you were going to lose it, truly. Especially when you’d catch a whiff of his shampoo, and you’d have to stop yourself from leaning in to follow the smell of cinnamon.

“Seriously, why do you still have it? Chenle has the newest Macbook,” he asked, fingers flitting across the keyboard.

“Because it works fine!” You insisted, removing your hands. “I get the internal stuff cleaned out regularly, and make sure all the software is updated and everything.”

“It still gets software updates?”

“It just… gets possessed every so often.”

“I wouldn’t call the occasional possession ‘working fine.’”

“When it’s not possessed, it works great! And it doesn’t even happen that much, only like, once a month.”

“Once a month since you were fourteen?” He squinted at you in disbelief where you were sitting on the opposite side of the laptop screen. “And you kept the damn thing?”

“No, once a month now,” you clarified. “It happened the first time when Chenle clicked on that porn ad, then maybe once a year for a few years after, and slowly started happening more and more often.”

“And he was watching porn on your computer because…?”

“So it wouldn’t be on his internet history.”

He snorted. “Of course. I should’ve realized.”

“Can I watch?”

“Oh, uhm, sure?” He readjusted to make room to his left side on the mattress, angling the laptop that way as well.

You shuffled around to the other side of the computer, dropping to lay down on your front, propping your chin up with your elbows to observe. Tilting your head, you rested it against Jisung’s knee that was next to you. His hands froze over the keys, and you lifted your head back up, looking up at him through your eyelashes.

“Sorry—Is this okay?”

“Y-Yeah, you’re fine.” He nodded quickly and pushed his glasses up as he returned his attention to the screen.

Leaning your head back against his knee, you settled in to watch him work on your laptop. You couldn’t follow what exactly he was doing to the computer, opening and closing different windows, folders, and applications. You zoned out, watching his hands and fingers deftly move over the keys instead. He was muttering to himself under his breath, his low voice pleasant to listen to even if you couldn’t make out the words he was saying. This close to him, you could smell the cinnamon better, and were starting to think that maybe it was actually a body wash or cologne.

“Y/N?” He said your name, making you snap out of a daze as you realized he was calling for you. “Hello?”

“Hm?” You perked up a little.

“We need to do an exorcism.”

That woke you all the way back up. “Wait, what?”

“Complete reset. Wipe everything and redownload the OS.”

“But I have everything on there!” You pleaded, stretching your hands over the keyboard to prevent him from doing anything else. “We’ve been through so much together! You can’t kill her!”

He sighed regretfully. “Is there an electronics store or something around here? We can get an external hard drive to back up all your personal stuff.”

“There’s a mall like an hour away. Chenle and I need to go gift shopping anyway so we can go tomorrow!”

“Why did I hear my name?” Chenle’s voice came from further down the hallway. He must have finished his call with Mark. Your brother poked his head into your room, briefly pausing when he saw you and Jisung. “I thought you guys were decorating the tree…?”

“Remember how you downloaded a virus trying to watch porn on my computer in high school? Jisung is fixing it for me,” you said pointedly, never missing an opportunity to bring that moment up. “But we need to buy something. I was telling him you and I need to go gift shopping anyway, so we can all go to that mall tomorrow.”

“Please tell me the thing you’re buying is a new laptop.”

“Never! She’s going to outlive you if I have anything to do with it!”

“Based off the fact that it sounds like a jet engine taking off right now, I’m pretty sure that was a threat on my life.”

MONDAY, DECEMBER 23

“Okay, so you’ll need at least this much storage for the files that you have right now,” Jisung explained, motioning to a few different options of hard drives that the electronics store had. He then gestured to a few more. “But if you really want to have her until Chenle’s dead, you might want to consider some more storage.”

You grinned, bumping his shoulder affectionately. “You said ‘her.’”

He covered his mouth as he let out a sputtering laugh, his cheeks turning pink. “Oh God—I didn’t even realize. That’s—Ah, you’re rubbing off on me.”

“I like that one,” you declared, pointing to one hard drive that was a similar colorway to the laptop case you had.

“Yeah, that’s more than enough storage.”

After purchasing your hard drive, you and Jisung headed out of the electronics store together. Chenle had already gone off to gift shop on his own so you and Jisung couldn’t see what he bought you.

You turned to Jisung. “Want to help me shop for Chenle?”

“Sure.”

The two of you meandered around the mall, popping into stores that seemed promising from the outside. As you passed by a jewelry display in a window, you tapped on the glass in front of a pair of earrings.

“Those are cute,” you commented, slowing down but not stopping entirely.

“You think so?” Jisung questioned, looking at them over your shoulder as you kept walking.

“Mhm.” You nodded, then clicked your tongue. “I’d get them, but I already have a pair like them.”

“You do?”

“Yep.” Keeping your gaze on the passing storefronts, you said levelly, “I don’t want to assume anything about what you think of me, Jisung, but I want you to know that I don’t expect a present from you. We only properly met two days ago.”

“Yeah, that’s… really reasonable,” he chuckled, the relief evident in his voice.

“Seriously, if you fix my computer, that’ll be the best Christmas present I get this year, hands-down. I don’t care what expensive crap my parents get me or surprisingly thoughtful, niche thing Chenle somehow manages to find.”

“I didn’t realize how much my computer exorcism skills were worth.”

“To me, they’re priceless,” you assured him. “I wish I had something to offer in return.”

“Hey, you already taught me how to skate,” he insisted, nudging your arm.

You tilted your head side-to-side contemplatively. “One could argue whether I was successful at that…”

“Completely my fault that the lesson got cut short, not yours.”

“Alright, alright. I suppose a computer exorcism can be our quid pro quo for ten minutes of ice-skating lessons.”

“I didn’t pay much attention in my high school history class when Mr. Yoo was talking about the bartering system, but I’m pretty sure those two things are equivalent, yeah.”

You burst out laughing, covering your mouth and squeezing your eyes shut as you started to go a little light-headed from how hard you were laughing. You were still walking forward alongside Jisung, and felt him grab your arm and tug you towards him at the same time he warned, “Watch out.”

You couldn’t see whatever you must’ve almost walked into as you were still trying to sober up from your chuckle fest, covering your face as more giggles bubbled up every time you tried to close your mouth. Jisung kept you right next to him, guiding you through the mall crowd with a gentle but steadfast grasp on your arm, not letting you bump into anybody or trip over anything.

“Are you really still laughing?” He asked, and though his words were exasperated, his tone was overly fond, letting out a soft laugh of his own at the end. “I don’t think it was that funny…”

You narrowed your eyes playfully at him, shook his hand off you, and suppressed your giggles to say, “Fine. I don’t think you’re funny at all and I hate you, actually.”

Jisung’s mouth parted as he stared at you in shock, and you couldn’t keep the bit going for very long when faced with his adorable look of being totally caught off-guard and floored, even if both of you knew it was all a joke. You grabbed his arm this time, your laughs getting muffled in his sweater as you buried your face in his shoulder and leaned against him for support.

“Oh my god, you looked like I ran over your dog or something!” You gasped for air between guffaws, apologetically rubbing his arm.

“You’re…” He trailed off, letting out a sigh instead, reaching for your purse that was on your arm and now awkwardly crushed between you two with you holding his arm. “Here, I’ll take that.”

He had already been carrying your shopping bags that you’d been acquiring from the various stores, and you now stopped to wordlessly shimmy off your purse for him to shoulder on his opposite side from you. You reattached yourself to his arm that you had been holding, and though his cheeks were turning pink, he had a small smile on his face as he looked down at his phone to check the time.

“Did your family assign you an animal too?” You asked him, your eyes getting caught on a kiosk of Christmas ornaments as you continued your journey through the mall.

“What?”

“Like how my parents decided when we were born that Chenle’s a bear and I’m a honeybee,” you explained, quickly looking back over to Jisung. “Did you ever have an animal or something that was like yours?”

He scrunched his nose as he thought, then shook his head. “No, not that I can remember. I always had a bunch of different stuffed animals.”

“I think you look like a hamster,” you informed him. “Especially when you do that with your nose.”

“Do what with my nose?” He questioned, his nose unintentionally twitching and scrunching up again as his eyes flitted around nervously.

You giggled, squeezing his arm tighter as you couldn’t help but coo over how cute he was. “That!”

He covered his nose with his hand, and though it obstructed half his face, you could tell he was pouting behind it.

“I didn’t mean to make you self-conscious, I’m sorry!” You apologized, grabbing his hand and trying to pull it away from his face. “I think it’s really cute!”

He stubbornly kept his nose concealed. “You still haven’t told me what it is…”

“You just scrunch up your nose sometimes, like this—” You imitated it, doing your best not to make it look like you were mocking him. “Seriously, it’s adorable! Please don’t ever stop, I might die!”

Jisung’s eyes crinkled and he dropped his hand back down as he chuckled. “Well we can’t have that.”

Your phone buzzed in your hand then, and you saw that it was your brother calling. “Mm, hold on, it’s Chenle.”

“Hey, where are you guys?” Chenle asked on the other end.

“We’re still on the first floor,” you told him. “By the pretzel stand. Where are you?”

“What have you two been doing? I’m on the third floor; I’ve been through the whole mall already. I’m done,” he scoffed. “Stay there, I’ll come to you.”

“I had to get my hard drive first, remember? You got a head start.”

“Anyway, are you done?”

“No, I have a couple more people to find gifts for.”

“Alright, hold on, I see you.”

You craned your neck looking for Chenle, still with your phone to your ear. “Damn bitch, how many old ladies did you take out on your way here?”

“Only two,” Chenle’s voice came through your phone and from directly beside you at the same time. He was loaded up with shopping bags on both arms.

You jumped out of your skin before rolling your eyes and hanging up the call. “Did you see a place that sold bath bombs and stuff?”

“Yeah, second floor, directly to the left off the escalator.”

“That’s my next stop, SooSoo loves that stuff,” you declared.

“There’s a baseball specialty shop on the third floor,” Chenle stated, eyes lingering on where you were still holding onto his friend’s arm. “If you want to go check it out, Jisung?”

You perked up, giving him an enthusiastic smile. “That sounds awesome! You totally should.”

Jisung turned to Chenle and nodded. “Yeah, sounds cool. Let’s do it.”

“I’ve still got a couple people on my list, so I’ll call you guys when I’m done so we can meet up and go,” you said, reaching for your purse that was still on Jisung’s shoulder. He handed it back to you, and you hurried off to take care of your final errands.

Back at the house, you watched on with bated breath as Jisung performed his laptop exorcism. The screen turned on, which already was good news. After a few more progress bars, you eventually saw your homescreen and looked at him with guarded hope.

“I still need to transfer your personal files back over. And you won’t know if it worked unless it just never gets possessed again, but…” Jisung gestured to your laptop with a certain finality.

“Ahh, thank you! Thank you!” You cheered, hugging him.

“O-Oh, you’re welcome,” he mumbled, hesitantly hugging you back.

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 24

Christmas Eve was ushered in with a fresh snowfall overnight, and maybe the Christmas spirit finally possessed you, because all three of you were outside playing in it like little kids. A rather lumpy snowman had already been built and decorated with various rocks, sticks, and kitchen utensils. Snow angels were scattered around, and Chenle had just thrown the very first snowball, hitting Jisung squarely in the back of the head.

You laughed incredulously as the pitcher turned around and calmly started packing snow between his hands.

“Are you stupid?” You snickered at your brother, who was also preparing another snowball.

Before he could finish readying that one, Jisung wound up and launched his snowball, nailing Chenle in the face. You weren’t even focused on your brother as he desperately wiped the snow off his face with both hands, however, your eyes still watching Jisung, who was chuckling to himself. You’d been too preoccupied at the Christmas tree farm to really watch any of their snowfall fight that had happened there, and obviously hadn’t gone to any of Jisung’s games before, so this was the first time you’d seen him really use any of his pitcher skills. While it wasn’t a proper pitch, the practiced ease and skill that he clearly possessed even in doing something as silly as throwing a snowball was admittedly really attractive.

Chenle had taken his loss and grabbed a stick to start writing something in the snow, a good distance away from where you and Jisung were, his back to the two of you.

Stepping deliberately closer to Jisung, you said, “That was really cool, Jisung.”

He fidgeted with making sure his beanie was down over his ears. “Ah, I mean, it wasn’t a real pitch or anything—”

“Then can you teach me how to pitch for real?” You requested sweetly. “I’m very into baseball these days.”

“Uhm, y-yeah,” he agreed, clearing his throat and nodding. He stooped down to pack more snow between his hands into a round sphere, then held it out for you. “Here, that should be the right size.”

You graciously accepted it, then looked at him expectantly.

“Do you prefer to throw with your left or your right?” He asked.

You held up your dominant hand holding the snowball, and he nodded.

“Okay, uhm, you should stand with your feet like this.” He demonstrated the correct positioning himself, and you copied.

Jisung went through the basic steps with you, making minor adjustments here and there, and you were actually finding it sort of interesting, outside of the cute boy teaching you something he was passionate about. Learning a new skill or something to that effect. When he was showing you how to actually move your arm when throwing, you were genuinely trying to do it per his verbal instructions, but apparently there was still something wrong with the way you were doing it. And so he walked behind you, covering your gloves hand with his. You could feel his warm breath on the back of your neck, and his other hand grabbed your opposite shoulder to correct your posture as he manually moved your arm through the correct motion. Slow at first, talking through it.

“Feel how it’s different than what you were doing?” He asked, doing it again, a little faster this time.

But you were long gone, your brain white noise and your vision blurring a little bit (but that was mostly due to the cold wind hitting your eyes). He still smelled like cinnamon, and you wanted to listen to his voice all day. Jisung could read you a car manufacturer’s manual for all you cared.

“Mm, mhm,” you agreed absentmindedly.

“Alright, I’m going to step back and let you throw your first pitch.” He patted your shoulder and did just that, leaving you feeling even colder.

You momentarily panicked as you grappled in your short-term memory for anything that he had just been saying. Taking a deep breath, you closed your eyes, deciding that you would probably suck anyway, and to just fucking do it. Trusting your gut and muscle memory of what Jisung had just been walking you through, you did your damndest to throw that snowball in something akin to a pitch.

Amazingly, the snowball actually hit the trunk of the tree that you had been aiming for, and you stared at it in disbelief, hands hanging down by your side. Jisung clapped, the sound dampened by his gloves, but his cheers were surprisingly upbeat for how soft-spoken of a guy he was.

“Wow! That was a really good first pitch!” He congratulated you, holding up both his palms for you to high-five. “So awesome…”

You high-fived him, but stayed holding onto his hands, wide smile overtaking your features. “Thank you.”

“I—You’re welcome.” He held onto your hands too, throat bobbing up and down as he swallowed.

“Jisung!” Chenle yelled out, reminding the both of you of his presence. “Can you get my phone? I made Daegal out of snow and I want to take a picture. It should be charging on my bed.”

“Yeah!” Jisung called back. He gave you a regretful look, letting your hands go to trudge back up to the cabin.

Rounding on your brother, you stomped over to him, observing the admittedly cute snow-Daegal for a moment before addressing him.

“You can get your own phone,” you scoffed, crossing your arms.

“I thought I might hurt Jisung’s feelings if I told him to leave to his face,” Chenle replied nonchalantly. He looked at you over his large-framed sunglasses. “I feel like I have to warn you, as your big brother—”

“By ten months.”

“—about Jisung.”

You gave him a sour look, knowing that he knew that you wouldn’t be able stop yourself from asking a follow-up question to a statement like that. “What about him?”

“I know what you’ve been trying to do this whole time. You’re not ‘very into baseball,’ you’re into Jisung.”

You immediately got fired up, hands balling into fists at your sides. “Don’t you dare start pulling the ‘my friends are off-limits’ card now. You’ve never—”

“Hey, I like Jisung.” He held up his hands defensively, an amused smirk on his face. “If I had to make a tierlist of my friends for you to date, he’d be like, the only one in S-tier.”

You snorted and rolled your eyes. “Do you have a fantasy draft of boyfriends for me too?”

“I’m genuinely trying to help you here, alright?”

“So, what? Does he have a girlfriend or something?”

“Not exactly…” Chenle sighed. “Right before we left, during finals week, he met this girl in the library and just absolutely fell head-over-heels, okay? Like, he’s never even looked once at all the girls who show up to his games, but this one says three words to him and gives him some candy and he’s a goner. I don’t get it.”

It took everything in you to suppress your giddy grin and instead cock your head, playing dumb as you asked, “Wait, did he even get this girl’s name?”

“No, he never got a chance since they were both working on finals stuff,” he answered. “Anyway, I’m just trying to warn you. You’ve got to compete with the romanticized version of mystery library candy girl that he has in his head.”

“Mm. Tough competition,” you nodded with mock solemnity.

“I’m serious, Y/N. He called me at like midnight walking back from the library to tell me about it. He’s got it bad.” As if suddenly realizing everything he had just told you might dampen your spirits, Chenle’s entire demeanor shifted, and he gingerly patted the top of your head. “But uh, you’ve totally got this. I’m rooting for you, lil sis.”

“Right. Thanks… big bro,” you replied with intentional stiltedness, softballing a punch to his shoulder.

That night after dinner, you all sat down around the Christmas tree for your family tradition of opening one present on Christmas Eve. You sifted through the presents under the tree, some of which were ones that had been shipped here ahead of time by your parents or other extended family, others from Chenle.

“Hmm… one or two?” You asked, your eyes on two particular gifts.

“One,” Chenle and Jisung answered unanimously.

You grabbed the one that had been under your left hand, returning to your seat next to Jisung. Chenle had already picked his box, and fished out a gift bag, plopping it in front of Jisung. He seemed surprised, blinking down at it.

“But—”

“I got you more than one gift, dummy,” Chenle cut him off, already guessing what his confusion was about. “Go ahead.”

“No!” You stopped Jisung. He looked at you with alarm as you snatched the gift bag away, putting it back under the tree and replacing it with a different, much smaller one instead. “Open mine.”

Jisung looked even more confused, and slightly betrayed. “I thought we agreed we weren’t doing gifts…?”

“Yeah, but then I saw this and…” You smiled sheepishly. “Just open it!”

Shaking his head, he pulled out the tissue paper, then removed the object at the bottom of the bag. It was wrapped in more tissue paper to protect it, which he carefully wrapped, revealing the ornament that you had bought yesterday while you were split up. It was in the shape of a hamster popping out of a present box, and as soon as you saw it at the mall kiosk, you knew you had to get it for him.

Jisung turned it over his hands, looking up at you still a little confused, but with a smile. “Wait…”

“It looks just like you!” You giggled, taking it from him to hold it up next to his face. Aiming your next question at Chenle, you asked, “Doesn’t it?”

Your brother started laughing, reaching forward to tweak one of Jisung’s cheeks. “Ha, she’s right. How adorable.”

Jisung pushed his hand away, rolling his eyes. His gaze softened when he looked back over at you. “Thank you, Y/N. It’s great.”

“Hang it up!” You urged, giving it back to him and gesturing to the tree.

He got up on his knees to reach forward and affix it to an empty branch, between a bear ornament and honeybee ornament.

“Okay, Y/N, you next,” Chenle directed.

Ripping the wrapping paper off the small box, you were met with a small jewelry box, and took that lid off. Inside was a pair of ornate, bejeweled earrings, a little flashy for your taste. You checked the card.

“Great-Aunt Ying,” you announced, and Chenle let out an ‘ahh’ sound in understanding. You put the lid back on the box and set it aside. “SooSoo will love those.”

“Who’s that?” Jisung asked curiously as your brother started unwrapping his present. “Not your great-aunt.”

“Sooyoung, my roommate since freshman year,” you explained. “She’s also like, my best friend. And those earrings aren’t really my style, but I know she would wear them like, all the time, so I’ll just give them to her when we get back.”

Chenle’s box was a bit larger than yours had been, and was similarly stylish. He turned it over to shake the lid off and make the contents fall out all in one go, catching the fabric that fell out in his hand. Holding it up, it was a tie in what looked like a nice material, a monochrome and not exceptionally busy pattern on it.

“Another tie, wonder who it’s from…” he snorted, picking up the card. “Oh, Great-Uncle Feng. Surprise.”

“Does he think you’re eating all the ties he gives you or something?” You snickered.

“I think he’s so old he forgets he’s given me a tie before and thinks I don’t own any.” Chenle then offered it out to Jisung. “You need a tie? If not, I’ll ask the other guys.”

“I would need a suit first…” Jisung admitted, rubbing the back of his neck.

Chenle stared at him in disbelief, then sighed. “Okay, so we’re getting you a suit when we get back to school.”

“What do I need a suit for?”

“Don’t you have formal stuff that you have to go to for baseball? Awards or press conferences or something?”

“That’s maybe once a year. I just rent a suit!”

“Jisung, don’t say another word, you’re going to kill me.” He put a hand over his heart as if it were going to give out any second.

You chuckled at their antics, starting to clean up the trashed wrapping paper. “Christmas movies?”

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 25

You felt like a little kid, unable to sleep the night before Christmas morning. It was after midnight, so it technically was Christmas now. And even thought you knew that neither Santa nor you parents were coming, you were still oddly giddy. You had already videocalled Sooyoung to recap the developments of the day, but you were still replaying everything in your mind, kept up with thought of Jisung. How it felt being that close to him when he was teaching you to throw a snowball, the information that apparently he was just as smitten with you after the library as you were with him. Even Chenle’s unofficial blessing put your mind at ease—not because your brother determined who you dated, but he knew Jisung better than you did and was brutally honest, so if he said that he liked Jisung for you, you knew he meant it.

Pushing your covers off, goosebumps immediately popped up on your legs that were now exposed to the cool air. You treaded over to the bathroom door. The light was off, but you still knocked. When there was no response, you opened it. You didn’t stop there, however, continuing on to the opposite door, which you knew led to Jisung’s room. Taking a deep breath, you knocked softly on that one too.

You heard the rustling of sheets and quiet padding of footsteps before the door handle twisted and opened, Jisung on the other side. He looked down at you, nose scrunched up in bewilderment.

“Hey, is everything okay?” He asked, rubbing one of his eyes behind his glasses.

“Yeah. Uhm, sorry, did I wake you up?”

“No, I uh, I couldn’t sleep, actually.”

“Me neither.”

“Oh.”

There was a pause, and you fidgeted with the ends of your longsleeve. “Do you want to hang out for a bit? Since we’re both up…”

“Oh! Y-Yeah, sure.” He stepped back from the door, motioning you in. “Uhm, come in.”

“Thanks.” You stepped inside, and he closed the door behind you.

The bedsheets were rumpled on one side, so you sat down on the other side, pulling the blanket over your chilly legs. Jisung watched you, frozen halfway from the bathroom to the bed for a second.

“I’m cold,” you told him, turning your phone on.

“Of course, right,” he breathed out, snapping out of his trance.

He climbed under the covers as well, putting a headphone in his ear opposite from you and pressing play on a video on his phone. Curious, you peeked over at his screen to see what he was watching. It looked like a bunch of clips of professional baseball pitchers.

“It’s my favorite pro pitcher,” Jisung blurted out, pausing the video again. He had apparently noticed you snooping at his screen. “Well, that’s currently active. He’s a lefty, and he does this thing on some of his pitches where he gets this spin and—”

You blinked as he had abruptly cut himself off in the middle of his sentence. Tilting your head, you asked, “What? Why’d you stop?”

“You’re not really interested in baseball, are you?” He questioned, turning his eyes down to his lap. “You’re just being nice.”

“Hold on—”

“It’s okay, you can go back to what you were doing, I don’t want to bore you.”

“Jisung,” you giggled, turning over on your side fully to face him. “You really haven’t figured it out?”

His brow furrowed and he pouted slightly as he seemed to genuinely be confused. “Figured what out?”

“I’m interested in baseball because I’m interested in you,” you said bluntly, watching the gears turn in his head before his eyes widened.

“Wh—Oh. Really?”

“Mhm. But Chenle did warn me that apparently you’re head over heels for some mystery girl that you met in the library during finals week who gave you candy,” you teased, letting out a wistful sigh. “So I have no chance…”

Jisung dropped his phone to cover his face with both hands, letting out a noise of embarrassment from deep in his chest, shaking his head. “Oh my God…”

“I told SooSoo about you too,” you informed him. “After the library.”

He opened his hands to peek at you meekly. “Really?”

“Really.”

Jisung glanced upwards, and you snickered.

“Chenle’s not like that. He’s not going to care unless you’re a dick to me.”

“Because only he gets to be a dick to you?” He joked, slowly removing his hands all the way from his face.

“Yep. Same for the girls he dates. Nobody gets to be a bitch to him except me.”

“So, now what?” He asked nervously, glancing around the room.

“Now, you’re going to finish telling me about your favorite pitcher,” you stated, scooting over until you were snuggled into his side, head resting on his shoulder so you could see his phone screen better.

Jisung grabbed his earbud case from the nightstand, bringing the other one out. He offered it to you, and you put it in as he turned his phone back on. He restarted the compilation, but didn’t press play yet, instead launching back into his explanation from before, excitedly talking faster now.

“So this is Hwang Myungjun. Like I said, he’s my favorite pitcher that’s in the league right now. He’s a lefty and—you’ll see it in this video, but—he does this really cool thing on some of his pitches where he can get this certain spin on the ball and…”

You listened to him go on and on with a smile on your face, breathing in the warm smell of cinnamon.

In the morning, you stirred a little, sighing and pulling the covers up to your nose. Covers that smelled like cinnamon. Opening one of your eyes, you were greeted with Jisung already wide awake, sitting up against the headboard, staring at you from behind his glasses.

You rubbed your eye and yawned. “Christ—Did you sleep at all?”

“Yeah, we get up early for baseball conditioning, so I don’t really sleep in even on days off.” He rubbed the back of his neck, ears turning pink. He cleared his throat awkwardly. “Good morning…”

“Morning,” you mumbled, yawning again. “Sorry for falling asleep here.”

“It’s okay. Sorry for talking you to sleep.”

“No, it was nice. I like your voice.” You pushed yourself into a half-sitting position. Pecking his cheek, you added, “Merry Christmas.”

His face flushed as he smiled down at his hands. “Merry Christmas…”

Climbing out of bed, you stretched your arms over your head, then wrapped them around yourself. “Anyway, I should emerge from my own room. Just because he doesn’t care if we date doesn’t mean Chenle needs to think something other than watching baseball compilations happened in here last night.”

Jisung squeezed his eyes shut and nodded his head. “Good idea.”

“See you in a few.” You bid him a momentary farewell, opening the door to the adjoining bathroom.

Shuffling back into your own bedroom, you almost screamed when you saw a figure sitting on your bed in the dark. You grabbed for the closest thing in your reach, a candlestick on the dresser next to you, ready to swing. The figure turned on the lamp next to the bed, and you saw that it was Chenle, still contemplating hitting him anyway. You decided to set your weapon down, however.

“What the fuck?!” You hissed, stalking up to your bed and grabbing a stuffed animal to chuck at him instead. He caught the stuffed bee, holding it to his chest as he smirked at you.

“Something you want to tell me?” He raised an eyebrow. “About where you’ve been?”

You followed his line of sight between you and the bathroom door that you just came out of. “What are you, the piss patrol? Can’t a bitch pee in peace around here?”

“Toilet didn’t flush, sink didn’t run,” he immediately shot back. “Also, I’ve been in here for the past hour.”

“Don’t be weird about it—” You held up a finger in his face threateningly, and a victorious grin immediately spread across his features. “Jisung and I talked about how we felt, and I fell asleep in his room. Nothing else, okay?”

Chenle gave you a look that told you he didn’t entirely believe you, but he didn’t press you any further. “God, how am I going to choose between being your brother of honor and his best man?”

“We haven’t even gone on a date!” You grabbed a pillow and tried to pushed it over his face to shut him up. He narrowly saved himself from being smothered, cackling as you resorted to smacking him with it instead. “As if I’d even ask you to be my whatever you just made up! You’ll be lucky if you even get an invite, I swear to—”

The door to your room was thrown open from the bathroom, Jisung looking around the room wildly. “Y/N! Are—”

You stopped your assault on your brother to smile breathlessly at Jisung. “Oh. Hi.”

“I heard you yelling, I wanted to make sure…”

“I’m fine,” you reassured him. “Thanks, Jisung.”

“I know!” Chenle announced loudly. “I know everything, Park Jisung! Last night, you and my little sister—”

You succeeded in smothering Chenle this time, muffling whatever obnoxious things he was about to spew.

After breakfast and opening presents in the morning, Jisung excused himself to go call his parents. Chenle tsked, turning the gaming console on to start up one of the new games he’d gotten and tossing you a controller.

“He tell you how he ended up coming with us?” Your brother asked, his gaze on the screen.

“Yeah. His dad goes on a cruise and his mom is with his stepdad’s side of the family. So he would’ve just been at the school if you didn’t bring him,” you replied, only paying half-attention to the opening cutscene.

“At least ours pretend to make an effort,” he scoffed. “His mom didn’t even offer to pay for his plane ticket.”

“Hm?”

“His mom and stepdad live on the other side of the country. They technically ‘invite’ him to Christmas every year, but he’d have to get himself there and back.”

“So it’s hardly a genuine invite.”

“And you know what his stepdad does?”

“What?”

“CEO of that logistics company that Mom and Dad are always talking about. The big one.”

“Shit, really? And he can’t be bothered to pay for his wife to see her own son once a year?”

He clicked his tongue. “Apparently not.”

A few levels into the video game, Chenle’s phone lit up with a text. He paused the game, and sighed upon reading the message. “Jisung says we can eat lunch without him. He’s suddenly not feeling well.”

You winced. “I take it his phone calls didn’t go well.”

“You go check on him. You can handle crying people better than me.”

You nodded in agreement, getting up from the couch. Outside of Jisung’s bedroom door, you listened carefully first, just in case he was still on a call. It was quiet, and you knocked softly.

“Jisung?” You called out. “Can I come in?”

“Sure,” he replied, his voice sounding far away.

Opening the door, you saw him laying on the bed on top of his covers, his back to the door. You stayed in the doorway, asking, “Do you want to be alone?”

“No.”

You sat down on the bed behind him, still giving him his space. “Do you want to talk or do you want quiet?”

“My dad didn’t even pick up,” he muttered. “And my mom—God, I got to tell her about school for all of five seconds before she started gushing about how her grandbabies are learning how to write or whatever. I’ve never even met those kids, honestly, I don’t give a fuck about them. They’re not even her grandkids, they’re her husband’s. Apparently, one of them is on a little league baseball team. When she started saying I could teach him how to pitch when I come to visit for summer, I pretended the call was dropping and hung up. ‘When I come to visit’—I live with my dad in the summer because he didn’t move away from me.”

“I’m sorry, Jisung,” you said, feeling the hurt in your heart as his voice tightened and cracked.

“It’s funny, they used to have these-these blowout fights every year about who got me for Christmas,” he sniffled. “And now that they moved on and got their new families, they couldn’t care less about me.”

“Lucky for me and Chenle, then. Because we got you this year.”

He laughed, finally rolling over to face you. He wiped at his eyes, but you still saw the tears that had run down the side of his face. “You really mean that?”

“Of course I do.” You gently stroked his hair, brushing some of it out of his face.

Jisung scooted closer, until he could pillow his head in your lap instead, his eyes fluttering shut as you resumed your ministrations. “I’m glad you guys got me too…”

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 26

A knock on your bedroom door woke you up. It opened, and somebody who was neither Chenle nor Jisung peered in.

“Merry Christmas, sweetie,” your mother hummed lightly. “Are you up?”

“Mm, yeah,” you grunted, pushing yourself up against your pillows.

She came over to press a kiss to your forehead. “Good morning.”

“Hi, Mom. Merry Christmas,” you smiled up at her, letting her take your hand in hers. “Did you and Dad just get here?”

“A few minutes ago. Your father’s getting Chenle.”

There was a loud thunk from above you, followed by a yelp and two very familiar and similar laughs that you recognized as your families’. You chuckled as your mom rolled her eyes fondly.

“I think he was successful,” you snickered.

“We’re going out for breakfast when you’re ready,” she informed you, squeezing your hand before letting it go.

“Mmkay.” You yawned as she headed for your door. “I’ll let Jisung know.”

She paused, tilting her head. “Who?”

“Didn’t Chenle tell you his friend was coming? Park Jisung?” You pointed at the room next door.

“Oh, I thought he was bringing Mark for some reason.” She looked at you with concern. “Does Jisung like basketball too?”

“I… don’t know? He plays baseball?”

“Oh. Hm.”

“So, what are you studying, Jisung?” Your mother asked, stirring sugar into her coffee.

The five of you were at a diner in the small town at the base of the mountain, you, Jisung, and Chenle packed into one side of a booth and your parents on the other. The car ride had been filled with you and Chenle filling your parents in on your various happenings from this semester, but now your parents seemed to have zeroed in on the newcomer.

“Cybersecurity,” he rushed to answer.

Both your parents seemed impressed by that. Your dad spoke next, “And what do your parents do?”

“He’s got an athletic scholarship, Dad,” Chenle cut in before you could. You both knew what he was really asking about.

“Full ride,” you added proudly. “Baseball. He’s the pitcher.”

“Really?” Your dad’s interest was piqued—he was a bigger sports fan than your brother.

“Yes, sir,” Jisung replied.

“The school doesn’t give out full athletic scholarships frequently. You know that?”

“No, sir, I-I didn’t know that.”

Your dad took a sip of his own coffee, regarding Jisung like he was evaluating his investment portfolio. “So what makes you so valuable?”

“W-Well, uhm, I-I don’t—”

“He’s ambidextrous,” you answered for him. “He can pitch with both hands.”

“Switch pitcher?” Your dad hummed thoughtfully. “You know who the best switch pitcher in the history of the league is, right?”

“Kim Beomjin, sir,” Jisung replied firmly.

“Has he passed your test, yet, Dad?” Chenle scoffed. “Come on, stop treating him like he’s interviewing at the company.”

“I was trying to get to know—”

“You were being a bit much, dear,” your mother interrupted your dad’s attempts to defend himself.

“Alright. My apologies, Jisung.”

“It’s fine, sir, really.”

You didn’t understand why your mother had asked if Jisung liked basketball until you got back to the house. Your parents had brought a few more presents with them, including, kindly, a couple for Jisung. Except they hadn’t been expecting Jisung, they had been expecting Mark, which evident in the gifts. Both Chenle and Mark loved basketball, so the matching jerseys for their favorite team would’ve made the perfect present, if it had been Mark receiving it.

“I’m so sorry, Jisung,” your mother kept apologizing, clearly embarrassed at the mistake.

“No, I-I like basketball too, ma’am,” he tried to reassure her.

“It’s a requirement for being my friend,” Chenle helped him out. “If only I could’ve made it a requirement for being my sister.”

“If we got to pick, I would’ve made not being annoying as fuck a requirement for being my brother,” you retorted.

“Language!” Your mom scolded you, at the same time that your dad warned Chenle to “Be nicer to your sister!”

Your parents were gone again after dinner, leaving in a flurry of hugs, kisses, and promises of celebrating Christmas together properly next year. As soon as he’d shut the door behind them, Chenle turned to you, cynical disbelief on his face already.

“No way,” he chuckled and shook his head. His phone rang then, and he tutted. “Gotta take this. I’ll be in my room if you need me.”

Jisung was already in the living room, and you plopped down next to him on one of the couches, dropping your head into your hands.

“Your parents seem nice,” he said quietly.

“Mhm, they’re really great when they’re here,” you agreed bitterly. “Sort of makes it hurt worse. It’d be easy to just hate them if they left us all the time and changed plans last-minute and were awful when we did see them. But they do all that shit, and then I see them and it’s good. And it makes me start thinking that maybe it’ll be different, maybe they’ll really keep their promises next time.”

“I get that.” He seemed to be choosing his words very carefully. “But maybe this time you just don’t get your hopes up. Might be easier on you.”

“Yeah, probably.”

With a sigh, you sat up, turning into Jisung’s side and snaking your arms around his waist. He wrapped his arms around you as you buried your face in his chest, one hand cradling the back of your head. His other hand slowly rubbed your back, encouraging you to relax into his embrace even more.

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 31

The morning of New Year’s Eve, the three of you were sitting around the kitchen table silently eating breakfast scrounged together from various leftovers and the singular grocery store trip you’d taken since Christmas. Then, there was a knock at the front door, and with your cereal spoon sticking out of your mouth, you gave Chenle and Jisung a bewildered look. They, however, didn’t seem put off at all.

“Y/N, can you go see who it is?” Chenle asked you, returning his gaze to his phone screen.

“Are you expecting someone?” You retorted. “You go answer it.”

The knocking came again, more insistent this time.

“Y/N! Just get it!” Chenle demanded loudly.

“Fine! Fine!” You got up, stomping over to the front door.

Opening the solid wood door, your jaw dropped when you saw six figures on the other side, before you were tackled in a hug by the one at the front.

“Surprise!” Sooyoung squealed, nearly squeezing the air out of your lungs.

“Soo!” You gasped, hugging her back. “What are you doing here?”

“We were invited!” Jaemin informed you cheerily, grabbing you for a bear hug next.

“We’d never pass up an invite to a Chenle-Y/N party,” Jeno’s eyes twinkled as he pecked the crown of your head.

“Especially a New Year’s Eve party,” Donghyuck added.

“Since when have we been throwing a New Year’s Eve party?” You spluttered, still in delighted shock as you took in all of your friends standing in your foyer.

Mark hugged you too. “Chenle texted us a couple days before Christmas to see if we could make it for New Year’s.”

You grabbed your roommate’s hand, bewildered the most by her presence. She wasn’t friends with Chenle or any of the other guys standing there, to your knowledge. “But how did you…?”

“Jisung’s idea,” Chenle had joined you all, standing at the threshold of the foyer with the baseball player. “We figured out that Renjun and Sooyoung were in a study group together this semester and…”

You’d spotted Huang Renjun, one of Chenle’s friends from college whom you’d met several times before, hanging back on the fringes of the group. You smiled at him before beelining for Jisung, throwing your arms around his neck and kissing his cheek a couple times in your excitement.

“Thank you!” You were smiling ear to ear, so much that your cheeks hurt, but you couldn’t help it.

“You’re welcome, Y/N.” Jisung returned the hug, rubbing your back. “My late Christmas present to you.”

You let him go to hug your brother next, hooking your chin over his shoulder and squeezing him so tight you felt like your chest might burst, and you hoped he could feel how much all of this—how much he—meant to you. Despite everything you may say or do to each other. “Thanks, Chenle.”

“Of course,” he whispered, hugging you back just as tight.

“SooSoo, I’m serious, not that much has happened!” You promised, laying on your bed to watch as she got settled in your room. She had of course insisted that you filled her in on every details of everything that’s happened between you and Jisung, including things that she had already heard before since you two talked almost every night. “It’s only been like a week, and my brother is literally here.”

“We all saw those little cheek kisses earlier,” she replied pointedly. “You’re at least going to kiss him at midnight, right?”

“Maybe,” you giggled, quite literally kicking your feet as you thought about it. “Onto you—You just spent three hours in a car with them, have you figured out if you want me to set you up with Jeno or Jaemin?”

“We took two cars. I was in Renjun’s with Donghyuck,” she informed you with a desolate sigh.

“Why did you—”

“He offered because he knew I didn’t know anybody except him, and I didn’t know how to explain why I wanted to go in the other one!”

“Foiled once more by empathy and kindness.”

“I’ll figure it out before we go back to school!”

“Maybe you can get one of their numbers on your own before then.”

Despite the reputations that ‘Chenle-Y/N’ parties carried amongst your friends, and your friends also bringing enough alcohol to host a full-blown kegger, the event itself was pretty low-key. You’d gotten the firepit on the back porch going, food ordered, music going throughout the house, and had already completed several different games.

You were fixing yourself a cup of eggnog in the kitchen when you spotted someone out by the firepit. Pouring another mug, you took both out with you. Jisung looked up when he heard the back door open. He smiled as he recognized that it was you, scooting over on the bench to make room for you to sit with him.

“Eggnog?” You offered a cup out to him. “I didn’t spike it, but I can go add something in if you really want.”

“No, this is perfect,” he chuckled, his laughs rising as white wisps in the cold air. “I’ve been thinking…”

“About?”

“Were the three options hot chocolate, cider, and eggnog?”

It took you a second to catch up, but once you had recalled your first night in the mountains, you burst into laughter, nodding. “Yeah, those were the three options when I made you pick a number.”

He smiled, taking a sip of his drink. “There was something else, that I was thinking about.”

“Oh?”

“Are-Are we going to kiss at midnight? Do you want to? I know we haven’t gone on a real date or anything—”

“I do want to kiss you,” you admitted. “Do you?”

He nodded hurriedly. “Yes, god.”

“You still seem… fidgety. We can wait, if you—”

“That’s not it.” He set his cup of eggnog down, and you did as well. “I want to kiss you. I just don’t want the first time I do to be in front of a bunch of our friends.”

You smirked, tilting your head curiously. “Are you asking to practice before?”

He blinked. “I don’t think I was before, but I definitely am now.”

You snickered a little, leaning in and gently touching your lips to his in a feather-light kiss. He let out a small sigh against your lips, one of his hands coming up to cup your cheek and pull you closer, sealing his mouth over yours. Everything was warm, no matter the fire or the cold wind or the thick jacket you were wearing, you were being heated from the inside out.

When Jisung pulled back, he had such a dazzlingly soft smile on his face that you couldn’t help but stare, wanting to burn that image in the back of your eyelids forever. He moved to duck his head shyly, but you grabbed his face.

“I think we might need some more practice before midnight,” you teased, nuzzling your nose with his affectionately.

“Mm, of course,” he agreed humorously, kissing you again. And again, and again, and again.

⇢ 2024 hallmark movie marathon

TAGLIST

@annenakamura @bee-the-loser @lotties-readings @ppddpjdr @reiofsuns2001

@classicroyalty @giirlfriendd @shaqs-oatmeal @sofipolii01

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[hannibals-favourite-meal]

happy 6k!! its well deserved! can i ask for secret relationship with Aaron Hotchner (if it hasn’t been requested yet) ♡︎

.⋆｡Serendipity｡⋆.

Aaron Hotchner x plus size reader

Something’s wrong with you, a subtle change taking place over months that your profiler co-workers haven’t noticed but one Penelope Garcia has

Warnings: secret relationship, fluff, Garcia snooping, mention of condoms/smut WC: 1.6k

6k Follower Celebration Bingo

Library- @hannibals-favourite-meal-library

Penelope was worried about you, to say the least. You had always been a bit of an introvert, preferring to stay home with your hobbies and books rather than go out to a bar with the rest of the team but over the last month, you had been far more reclusive than normal. She may not have been a profiler but she could see the way you hid your phone, the turtlenecks and scarves that now seemed to be a staple of your wardrobe, and most damning of all, the fact that you had avoided Girl’s Night.

And Penelope was going to get to the bottom of it.

“I need your help. Now.” She jammed her pen onto the end call button of her desk phone before the person on the other end of the line could answer. Her eyes were glued to the monitor in front of her, your social media page laid out across the screen. She had gone through every like, every comment, every follower and nothing seemed blatantly out of place but she knew she was missing something.

“C’mon baby, I know you’re somewhere in there.”

The door to her cave slammed open, revealing a slightly sweaty and very out of breath Dr Reid. “What! What is it? What’s wrong?”

Penelope spun her chair around and in a squeaky voice responded. “I don’t know!” Spencer’s distressed expression faded, however, as soon as he saw what she had been looking at in the first place. His eyebrows furrowed and he stepped into the room, the blue light of her monitors reflecting off his glasses. 

“Garcia, are those bank statements?” 

“Two days ago, Y/N went to the pharmacist at 10 pm. 10! Who goes to the pharmacy that late unless they’re hiding something.” Penelope gestured wildly at the list.

“Or we just got back from a case and she had to refill a prescription?” She scoffed and waved him off.

“Our copay isn’t that good. I only know one thing someone buys for $15 at a pharmacy after 8.” Spencer gave her a puzzled look, “Condoms Dr Reid! Condoms!” 

Red bloomed across his cheeks but Penelope continued. “And then I noticed something else, Y/N hasn’t been to a gas station in almost 6 months. Or at least if she has, she hasn’t been paying for gas. So, tell me what that means.” 

“Someone has been buying gas for her.” Spencer leaned forward, his hands now planted on the only empty spot on her desk. 

“Or…” She prompted.

“Someone’s been driving her around.” His glasses slid down the bridge of his nose.

“Which means…” Penelope gently pressed them back up his face as the realisation dawned upon the genius.

“She has a secret boyfriend.”

——————

“Are we positive that this is a good idea?” Spencer shoved his hands into his suit pants pocket as he nervously looked around the empty hallway. Penelope huffed as she moved the bags of takeout over to her left hand, the numerous bracelets on her wrist jingling.

“Look, either she comes clean and gives us all the details about this mystery beau or we get a nice night in with one of our best friends in the world.” She firmly knocked on the door, stopping any further protest from Spencer. 

There was a few seconds of quiet, then a scuffle behind the door. They looked at each other before the lock clicked and your face was between the crack. “Penelope?”

Spencer leaned over so his head was above Garcia’s. Your eyes met his, your frown deepening. “And Spencer. What are you guys doing here?”

Penelope shot a look over her shoulder that screamed ‘I told you so’ before she held up the brown paper bags and gave you a megawatt smile. “There’s a Doctor Who marathon on TV tonight so I thought we could surprise you since it’s been forever since we’ve hung out!” 

“I’m not exactly dressed for company. Do you think you could give me a minute?” You glanced at something in your apartment, giving Penelope the opportunity to poke Spencer in the arm.

“Do you think we could come inside to wait, it’s a bit chilly out here.” You sighed. The door opened slowly, revealing your state of half-undress, wearing only a shirt that definitely wasn’t yours and that did nothing to cover the discolouration around your neck that suspiciously looked like hickies. Sweat dotted your hairline, your chest heaved, and the soft, sensual music playing from your speaker was everything that they needed to know.

Penelope’s squeal of victory was swiftly cut off by a man’s arm wrapping around your wide hips and tugging you back from the door, away from their sight. “It seems we’ve been had.” A deep voice rumbled.

“No way.” They were frozen to the spot, left staring at the empty doorway.

“Well, come on in then. Whatever you brought smells good.” Spencer was the first one to move, stumbling over his own feet as he entered the apartment. Penelope followed, a slightly dazed look on her face.

When she finally regained her composure, you had disappeared into the bedroom, leaving one Aaron Hotchner standing in your living room, dressed far more casually than they had ever seen him before, a sly smile on his lips. He took the bags of take out from her and carefully placed them on the coffee table. 

He was relaxed, incredibly so. His body language open, his eyes even sparkled when you walked back out of your room, now more dressed than before. Spencer’s brain ticked over as he watched the way your fingers brushed Aaron’s arm, recalling every moment he could where your interactions had been anything more than platonic in the years you had worked for the BAU. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Penelope sounded genuinely heartbroken, which made you break away from Aaron and wrap her up in your arms.

“We wanted to keep it private at first, just to see where it went.”

“And Stauss wouldn’t exactly approve.” Aaron added as he started pulling out the food containers.

“A relationship between the chief of a unit and his subordinate isn’t exactly against any FBI rules but it is frowned upon. Not to mention the over 10 year age gap between the two of you might’ve raised eyebrows.” Spencer perked up, earning a scowl from said older man.

“Yes that too.” He cleared his throat. Your giggle was muffled by Penelope’s hair. She turned around in your embrace to give Aaron a dirty look yet remained clinging to you.

“You’ve stolen her from us, keeping her all to yourself all the time.” Her grip on you tightened. “And buying condoms! Who are you to defile this perfect being.” 

Aaron had the audacity to look a little bashful at that, though you caught the flash of a prideful grin before he quickly hid it behind his usual frown. “She is my girlfriend. But, I suppose I have been selfish.”

Spencer had disappeared into your kitchen to look for some plates, but he soon called out to you. “What utensils do you want me to use? There are far too many in this drawer.” You rolled your eyes and pried yourself from Penelope, now leaving her alone with your boyfriend.

Her firm expression didn’t waver. “You love her?”

“Yes.” He answered without hesitation.

“Are you going to ask her to marry you?” Aaron’s brown eyes darted to the kitchen and once he confirmed that you weren’t standing within earshot, he muttered.

“It’s early but yes.”

“You need my approval.” She crossed her arms over her chest but Aaron could clearly see the way she was fighting a smile. 

“Of course.” He nodded, popping open a container of dumplings and stealing one. 

“Good.” She plopped down onto your couch, evidently all her questions answered, and took the box from him. 

“Is that all?”

Her nose scrunched up. “Don’t get ahead of yourself Hotchner, you aren’t off the hook yet. I’m telling everyone you’ve both been lying to us for months.” 

“As long as it stays in the BAU.” You piped up, your hands now full of various forks and knives, Spencer trailing after you with plates in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other. “We don’t need to kick up a HR investigation just yet.”

“We’ll vouch for you both if it comes to that.” Spencer sat on the edge of the recliner so he could still reach the coffee table. You glided by Aaron, your shoulder purposefully brushing against his as you passed. Penelope patted the couch cushion beside her.

You grabbed the remote control and obeyed her hint, settling into the soft material with a sigh. 

“Now go, it’s our turn to get her.” Aaron just rolled his eyes playfully and kissed your forehead gently.

“Have fun you three, I’ll stay out of your hair.” You melted into his touch for just a moment before he pulled himself away to gather his things that he left on his your bedside table. “Although it’s been a while since I’ve spent the night by myself.” He teased.

That earned him a scoff from Garcia. “Go!” He raised his hands in defeat and left the three of you to the pile of food and your show. You accepted the offered plate from Spencer, it was silent save for the low voices from the TV and Aaron’s movements around your bedroom. 

Penelope had a pleased smile on her face, pride filling her chest. She had out-profiled a team of profilers before they had even realised something was off. And she had gotten an evening with you and Spencer through her genius. She pressed the side of her thigh against yours as you poured out some wine for each of them.

You grinned at her before you suddenly froze, a thought occurring to you.

“Pen… how did you know I had been buying condoms?”

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random post but these are some blogs on tumblr that i absolutely adore, and love, and why (most of the whys contain fics but like that's the whole point of me being on tumblr. other reasons too like talking to people and getting to know people, and shit. but like i'm literally always reading a fic)

1.) @bernardsbendystraws: she's actually so fucking funny, and i could just scroll her page for hours, and hours, and hours, and hours, and hours on end. and don't even get me started on her fics, and blurbs, and everything. it's just so ughhhhhh.

2.) @phone4pills: THE FICS ARE EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!! i cannot even begin to count the amount of times i've re-read her whole masterlist. like it's sooooo good.

3.) @blckslutsforchrizz: one of my moots!!!!!!!!!!! she's really fucking funny and i feel like any post she's posted where she has an opinion on something i always agree with that opinion. she's just too relatable. and not to mention she's so fucking gorgeous. like have you seen her face reveal???? STUNNERRRRR!

4.) @mattscoquette: her page is just too good! i absolutely love every fic of hers, and don't get me started on her au's. PERV!MATT!?!? LIKE AHHHHHHHHHHH. too motherfucking good. he has me on a chokehold.

5.) @freshloveee: love, love, love, love, LOVE her fics. the one where matt takes care of the drunk reader?!?! HELLO?!?! i love her so much i can't even. her new theme is also very, very cutesy. also we're supposed to be getting married (i think. last time i checked) so ya'll are all invited. mwah, mwah, mwah. she's def one of my favs.

6.) @chrisweetheart: another mootie! i devour her fics up like it's my last meal. if you haven't read the one about sweetheart reader jerking matt off, READ IT!!! oml it's so good. her theme is also just a chefs kiss like omg ughhh.

7.) @bluestriips: again, another moot! her fics are scrum-dilly-umptious. i'm literally licking my fingers clean after i read something of hers. love, love, love!

8.) @leoslaboratory: i just love sitting down at night, in my bed, knowing i can scroll through her page, and get some good entertainment. i love it. I LOVE IT! also dealer!chris?!?! I LOVE ITTTTTT OH EM GEEE!!!!

9.) @vainilladollie: GROUPIE LOVEEEE!!!!!!!! AGHGHGHGHG! that was the first time i discovered her page and i fell obsessed. i love that fic and all her other ones so much it's not even funny anymore. i love that i have such a cool moot who writes such good shit.

10.) @whiteferraristurns: first off, the name? need i say anymore? i love her fics so much like it hurts. white ferrari matt fic had me in a chokehold i actually can't even put it into words. loved it and her page so much.

there are so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so many more pages i absolutely love, adore, and just overall cherish, but there's too many to put. these were the only ones i could think of off the top of my head. and i may be glazing but idgaf. if you have a problem with it, then how about you fuck off. anywho!

toodles sluts :)

[painted-flag]

OF FLOWERS AND DEATH - aemond targaryen

Chapter 10: The Art of Potion Making

!!! An important poll regarding the upload schedule for this series can be found here. !!!

☾⋆⁺₊✧ dark elf!Aemond Targaryen x f!human!reader series. ✧₊⁺⋆☾ series masterlist. ☾⋆⁺₊✧ word count: 4.5k ✧₊⁺⋆☾ series warnings: 18+ depictions of violence/gore, eventual smut, warfare, sickness/disease, some moments of misogyny, and mentions of alcohol consumption. ☾⋆⁺₊✧ Potion making is easy, but command over the dark arts is a skill derived from centuries of experience.

Two days came and went of unpacking as much as you could before going to your work and delving into books, notes, experiments, and taking care of patients. In the chaos of everything, there was no time for you to sit down and relax. You woke, ate quickly, unpacked as much as you could before Amara and Liriel came to get you ready for the day, and went about your duties in the healing facilities. 

In that time, not much progress was made in your research or Daeron’s. The two of you had hit a wall, which seemed impossible to overcome. It became a topic of tension between you two. Each knew that it was not the other's fault and did not blame them, but the feeling of hopelessness began to wear down on you two. 

You were finally granted a moment of reprieve. 

The cool breeze of the morning chill flowed through your open windows. Scents of blooming plants filled the space as you broke your fast. You had spent the morning reading the last filled-in pages of your father's journal. It may not have been the best decision, as you struggled to maintain your composure at parts. He would write about his days however a large focus was on you. He went on of how proud he was of you and of the young lady you were becoming. His written words gave you both a sense of comfort and a deep sharp pain in your chest. 

Your hand turned to the last entry and you took in the date. It was the day before he left on a trip, the one he vanished on. You sucked in a breath and looked outside, tears brimming your eyes. While your father’s disappearance was devastating, you managed to get used to the pain over the years. Reading his journal seemed to open those cuts you long thought were healed. 

Your eyes scanned the delicate ink stains of his writing. His writing had always been a topic of jealousy for you, for it was always neat. He spoke of his upcoming journey. While he originally told you he was heading north, his writing revealed it was not the case. Your brows furrowed as you scanned the writing, certain excerpts reaching out to you.

The southern lake of Rosemagne… is the topic of contention among my fellow researchers because of the… I believe it is a good place to gather samples to…

You scanned the words with a rushed fervour. You did not recognize the lake's name and found yourself leaving the table and moving toward your bookshelf. The chair scraped against the floor. Once you grabbed the book you were looking for, you dashed back and sat down. You flipped to a map of the known lands and scanned the various bodies of water. Your finger dragged across the parchment as you scanned, but you could not find it in your kingdom. A tiny feeling settled in your stomach; a queasy sickness that churned the food you had eaten. 

“Please tell me you were not so foolish…” Your voice barely came out, a whisper so imperceptible even you did not know if you actually spoke it. 

You began to go over the known lands of the elf kingdom. Far larger than your own, you spent longer scanning the land. To your horror, but also correct assumption, the image of Lake Rosemagne sat just under your fingertip. 

Oh, gods…

Your father entered elf territory without permission. His disappearance could only mean a single thing; he was caught and properly dealt with. The cup on your table was hurled at the wall quickly and you began to lose control of your breathing, chest heaving with sobs that threatened to spill. This whole time you held to the belief he was still out there. 

Your mind conjured up scenarios where he decided to stay in a place he thought promising to his research. While naive, it was how you coped. There was no way you wished to admit the truth that had been clawing down your throat for years. The thought of him dead, of you being parentless and thus alone and without grounding in this world, was not an option for you. 

Your suspicion then turned to Aemond. Surely, he would have known about your father. As king, he would have been notified of any trespassers. There was the very possibility that he may have executed your father himself. 

No. 

Your brain refused to admit it. He would have told you or perhaps Helaena may have known. You shook your head at that, if Helaena knew she would have informed you immediately after piecing it together. She would never hide a thing like that from you, but Aemond… 

Was Aemond’s agreement to Helaena’s proposal of you coming here nothing but a way to lure you in? To finish the job and get rid of all possible people who would have known?

The two of you had just begun to bridge the cavern that separated one another. Assumptions would get you nowhere. Whether or not he had a hand in your father's likely death, this had to be handled with care. There was no proof he had done what your brain jumped to and you would not condemn him until there was evidence. You would play the field as necessary. Not reveal that you know and pretend to be unaware of it all. 

The room felt stifling. The walls closed in on you and you needed to get out. You composed yourself and splashed water on your face from the wash basin to get rid of the redness on your skin. You placed your father’s journal under the pillows on your bed to hide it. While not a good spot, you were in no headspace to think of someplace better. 

All you cared about was leaving the suffocating room.

The door to the library by your laboratory was a welcoming sight. You believed it was time to shuffle through the shelves again in hopes that you could find something new for your research. A title you may have brushed off in previous visits could stand out and be worth the read. 

You pushed open the wood and are greeted with a sight you wished to avoid. Aemond stood beside one of the tables, casually flipping through the pages of a book that had been likely left behind by some visitor. He looked bored as if he had been waiting for something. Alerted by your presence, he turned his head to see you. 

“Good morrow, your grace.” You bowed respectfully, but truthfully you wished to run as fast and far as you could. Images of your father flashed across your vision when looking at the king. The speculation of your father’s death conjured up just moments ago pressed down on your chest. 

Aemond spoke your name. It was incredible how shamefully you relished in the way it rolled off his tongue. While you stated that you did not hate him, you also did not like him. At the very least, you had begun to think of him positively, but with your discovery that trust was thrown away. 

“I was informed of your curiousness regarding dark magic,” Aemond continued. You got nervous as such information could likely have you in dire straits. He picked up another book that was on the table and walked over to you, “This was something I read a few centuries ago. I completely forgot about it until I was browsing my shelves and thought you would need it.” 

The way in which he casually threw out that he had read it a few centuries ago came across like a person reminiscing on an event from just a month or two ago. Your heart quickened at the notion that, while he was browsing his personal collection, he stumbled across a book and thought of you. It was a dangerous mode of thinking for you, to go down such a speculative path. 

Aemond held out the book and you went to grab it. The tips of your fingers brushed against his and a flurry of heat coursed up through your arm. You almost reflexively dropped the book by the shock you felt. 

“Thank you,” You responded once it was in your arms. You held it to your chest, like some kind of shield between you two. 

“I was thinking that I could also peruse the shelves here with you. I can translate the ones in other languages.” It was yet another olive branch extended from him, except this time you did not want to meet it. The thought of your whole presence being here as a trap set by him threw you off. 

The most dangerous creatures are often beautiful. 

You had not remembered where exactly such a phrase was ingrained into you. You had heard it from someone, but their words rang true. It was best for you to put up a wall before it was too late. There was nothing wrong with you and Aemond’s relationship just a few short days ago – barely acknowledging one another. 

“I do not need any help, your grace,” You interjected, “Daeron has translators if I need them.” 

It may have been a trick of the light or perhaps a misinterpreted thought, but you could have sword a gleam of disappointment flashed across Aemond’s eye. He shuffled almost awkwardly on his feet and moved his hands to be clasped behind him. 

He gave you a curt nod, “I shall leave you to it, then.” He moved past you to leave and his scent lingered. Burning wood and parchment undercut by a medley of spices. It was entirely too intoxicating.

The familiar sight of Lyra lying in her bed greeted you as you walked into the sick hall. She had been fiddling with a doll in her lap, stuck in the childlike wonder of imagination. As you approached, she spotted you and a smile made its way on her face. 

Lyra spoke your name, “You’re here!” 

“I’m here. And how have you been, sweet girl?” You sat on the edge of the bed and made a trained scan of her body, checking the progression of the taint as the purple-black darkness spread on her skin. 

“I am fine, other than the fact that I wish to know what is going on outside this hall,” Lyra answered. It was no surprise she wanted to leave. Most patients expressed the same sentiment. Their bedbound lifestyle was suffocating. While they were not contagious, their frail conditions would make any instance of walking painful and could worsen their condition. 

“I’m sorry, but you know you cannot leave this bed.” You reasoned. 

Lyra nodded and held out the doll. It was small - only slightly bigger than your hand and sizeable enough to fit in a pocket. The doll shared a remarkable resemblance to Lyra. Gold embroidery string replicated her hair and a small sewn outfit adorned the doll. 

“Could you take Lady with you? It does not matter what adventure she goes on, I just want her to see outside this hall.” Lyra asked you. Your hands reached out to take the doll and made sure to handle it with extra care. 

“I will take her on many adventures.” You promised. While you gave her a wide smile, your inner self was in turmoil. It ached at the sadness of her situation, something that many others were suffering through. You looked around the room and saw Daeron walking in from one of the balconies. 

You leaned over to tuck Lyra in, “I have something I need to discuss with Daeron. Get some rest, sweet girl.” Lyra nodded at your words and closed her eyes to go to sleep. You tucked the doll gently in one of your dress pockets and got up to stop Daeron as he moved down the centre aisle. 

Daeron greeted you before his face went still, “How serious is it?” 

“Pardon?” You responded. 

“You get this look on your face when you are going to talk about something serious.” Daeron raised one eyebrow, “Am I correct?” 

You grabbed his arm and started to pull him in the direction of the laboratory. You proposed many days ago the option of using dark magic against the taint off of the basis of your poison hypothesis. He promised he would think about it and you gave him space to do so, but now you were more anxious than ever for a response. However, you could not bring it up in a space full of other witnesses. 

Once in the safety of the laboratory, you moved to the book you had used for this discovery and pulled out the mortua terra flower samples as well. You had already gathered all of the other ingredients that made up your old formula – the one with the most success. 

Daeron looked back and forth between you and the table, “And this is?” 

“My proposal,” You told him, “I gathered the flowers in this book. I am ready, but are you?” 

He kept his gaze on the jar of flowers in front of him and rested his hands on his waist, “Dark magic is something that marks your soul. I cannot, with consciousness, allow you to do this alone.” 

You moved your mouth to speak, but Daeron held his hand out to stop you, “You do not need to pretend you wouldn’t have gone and done it yourself regardless of my decision.” There was something almost comical in the way he could easily read you and you wondered if the other elves could do that as well.

Daeron went about organizing the ingredients and prepping everything to work. You followed in his steps, cutting and juicing the ingredients while he spoke, “There are things such as light and dark plants. They are incompatible in mixtures together, but each serves well on their own. Light plants are easy to manipulate. Those flowers you collected are dark, so working with them requires extra preparation steps.” 

“And I am guessing those steps are difficult,” You interjected. Daeron picked up a single mortua terra flower and inspected it. 

“Yes,” He answered, “We need blood to leech out its magical properties.” 

You paused your movements and the metal stirrer halted but the liquid inside the pot continued to swirl, “Blood?”

“The blood is just a grounding force.” He lit a small fire under two potting zones and poured the liquid from your pot into them. “I am curious to see the difference between human blood and elf blood.” 

“But if we just need blood to activate it, what makes it dark magic?” You questioned him. Daeron turned and dragged two comfy chairs across the stone floor to be placed near the table. He adjusted the pillows. 

“The blood is a connection to you and your soul. The more potent it is, the more energy it takes from you. That is the risk with dark magic, it sucks your energy and your soul the more you do it. However, the more you do it, you eventually cannot stop. It becomes addicting.” Daeron then unsheathed a dagger that was strapped to his waist. The metal glimmered in the candlelight. 

He picked up one of the flowers and dropped it into one of the pots. Once it sank into the simmering mixture, he held his hand out and slowly cut a line on his palm. Beads of blood pooled to the surface and dripped into the pot. His brows furrowed as he winced. Daeron cleaned the blade in a washpot that was on the table. He then held it out to you.

“Your skin must make contact with the flower. Drop it in, wait a few seconds, and then cut.” You took the blade from him and a small wave of reluctance came over you. This is what you wanted, but it was still terrifying. 

You followed the steps carefully. Afterwards, Daeron gestured to the chairs, “Sit down. The longer it brews, the more energy will be drained. We will be here all night.” 

The two of you sat in the chairs that were placed next to one another and listened to the bubbling of the liquid. Silence enveloped the two of you. As predicted, drowsiness settled over you. It was not intense, but began to creep up on you. Daeron did not look as affected and you assumed that largely had to do with your races; elves were stronger than humans.

To occupy yourself, you decided to speak, “Why is your brother the way he is?” 

“I do not even know where to begin with Aegon. He-” 

“Not Aegon,” You interrupted, “King Aemond. Why is he…” You trailed off, unable to finish the sentence. One moment, Aemond is holding a sword to your throat and the next he is offering you a book and help. It was incredibly dizzying. It made you feel mad. Aemond’s attitude threw you off, but the shreds of kindness that extended your way erupted a flurry in your stomach and burning in your veins.

Daeron sighed, “He is guarded. Some of the things he has gone through made him-”

“Cruel?” You finished his sentence.

He shook his head in denial and adjusted his posture in the chair, “As I said before, everything my brother did was to protect his people.” 

You waited a few moments before responding, “I’ve met your family, all of you are incredibly kind. I’ve heard the stories of what he did during the Great War. Why is he so different?” 

“Most of the stories about him you humans tell are exaggerated.” Daeron stretched his legs out, some drowsiness already starting to come over him.

“So he does not drink the blood of his enemies?” You asked. 

“No.” Was Daeron’s quick response. 

You decided to go through all of the stories you could remember, “Hangs men up by their balls? Feeds dead children to their parents? Leaves field of impaled men as a warning?”

“No.” 

“He doesn’t set fields and towns on fire? Raid strongholds that had already surrendered, killing all the men inside?” Your tone moved to a more teasing manner. 

Instead of answering, Daeron got quiet. His silence was a confirmation and you sunk further into your chair. You could, if you tried hard enough, picture it in your head. Aemond, standing in a blazing field, bodies littered around, and the screams of humans being all that could be heard. You cringed at that and felt an overpowering feeling of guilt for ever allowing yourself to be entranced by him. 

In your state of exhaustion, you leaned your head on Daeron’s shoulder. He rested his cheek against the top of your head and the two of you stared at the brewing pots. There was one last question that burned at you, one you had asked Aemond but received no response. 

“What does rūklon mean?” Your pronunciation had not gotten better, but the point was still made. 

You could feel Daeron adjust his head slightly, “Why?” 

“I just…” You paused and wondered if you should tell him that Aemond referred to you by that word to Helaena, but decided against it for fear it might be bad, “I heard it in passing and wondered.”

“Well, it could refer to a blooming plant, but more often it just means flower,” Daeron answered. Helaena’s voice – mimicking Aemond’s words – echoed through your head.

That stupid little rūklon risking her life… 

Little flower…

Was it a connection to the fact that you wore the azure perfume that reminded him of his childhood? That may have charged extra anger towards you. You highly doubted, out of all possible reasons behind it, that Aemond meant it as some kind of nickname. Daeron’s confirmation of Aemond’s cruelty just moments ago came back to you. 

Some weird part of you felt the need to justify his actions. They were at war and he was their king. He had pressure over his shoulders like no other to keep his people safe. Aemond had to make decisions, hard ones, for the continuation of his kingdom. Quickly after that thought came more guilt. You felt cruel yourself for trying to find a likely reason behind his actions – to somehow justify the wholesale slaughter of your own kind. 

Perhaps, if you were lucky one day, you could hear Aemond’s side. 

Daeron was the one to break the silence instead of you, “I love my siblings, I truly do. Helaena is my closest friend and I am grateful to have her as a sister. But… I’ve always wanted a little sister. I know it hasn’t been a while since we’ve met, but I think of you as one.” 

You did not know if he was just sharing this with you because he wanted to or if the gradual exhaustion had something to do with his confession. Regardless of the reasoning, his thoughts matched something you had always had. 

“I’ve always wanted an older brother.” It was a simple response, but gave Daeron the comforting answer he wanted. He went back to resting his head against yours. In your shared state of comfort, the both of you eased into a dreamless sleep.

You were caught in that haze of sleep and awake. There were no dreams, just an abyss of darkness that wrapped you in warmth. In the distance, a part of your consciousness was creeping forward. It spun into action upon hearing your name being whispered. You felt a light press on your shoulder and came to. Your eyes opened to see Daeron crouched in front of you. He shook your shoulder with care. 

Your energy had been regained and you saw the table with the brewing pots to be on a low simmer. It likely had burned through the energy needed and made it so you and Daeron could wake. It was only when you adjusted in your seat that you saw Aemond standing next to the table and watching you with his arms crossed. 

“Your grace,” You shot out of the chair, but in doing so made your head spin. You would have tumbled if Daeron did not catch you. One of his hands gripped your right forearm and the other wrapped around your waist with care. You blushed deeply with embarrassment as the flush moved across your cheeks and down your chest. 

Aemond observed with a careful eye. You could see his one eye drift down to where Daeron’s arms held you and he pursed his lips. He had likely seen you and Daeron asleep together and wondered what was going on. 

“Burning a candle at both ends?” Aemond spoke. It was a weird question coming from him; to tease you about working late. Daeron released you and walked to the table where his brother was. 

Daeron gestured to the two simmering pots, “We are starting a new experiment that may likely be promising.” Aemond peered over to look into the pots and hummed. You approached warily and moved to the other side of the table to create distance between you and the two elves. 

“They should be ready for testing on samples, your grace.” You spoke. Aemond continued to look at the mixture brewing. 

“The flowers she brought back was a stroke of genius,” Daeron praised. 

Aemond then looked up at you, his expression unreadable, “The same ones collected from the forest?” His tone bordered on scolding. Any words you could think of got caught in your throat and you nodded. 

Daeron sensed a bit of tension and clapped his hands together once, “Well, you should tell him about your hypothesis,” You sent him a look of challenge and he reciprocated with a nervous smile. You did not know why Aemond was being combative. While he was quick to attitude, there was something that must have soured his mood. 

You cleared your throat, “Well, some poisons can be used to counteract others. I thought the same could be done to the taint but it only worked temporarily. I thought, perhaps, the taint was not poison but some kind of dark magic. That is why we needed those flowers,” 

Aemond opened his crossed arms and clasped his hands behind his back, “Smart.” That seemed to ease the king's annoyance and you were able to breathe. 

“I must get going to tend to patients,” Daeron announced. He addressed you and spoke, “Keep watch on the brew.” The prince said his goodbyes and left. You wanted to reach out and tug at the collar of his shirt, drag him from the door, and place him right next to the table. There was an overwhelming urge to curse him out that overcame you. He left you alone with Aemond, knowingly and seemingly acted as though it was funny.

You decided to distract yourself from the tension and moved to start organizing ingredients and other items on the table. The piercing gaze of Aemond’s eye fell like lead on your skin. 

“The two of you have gotten close,” Aemond uttered. You continued with your task, though you could still see him in the corner of your vision. The table between you two did not feel like enough room, yet at the same time, a part of you wished it was not there. 

“Well, the prince has been incredibly helpful in teaching me-”

“I would advise against engaging in anything further.” He interrupted, “You best understand that elves and humans do not mix.” 

Your brows furrowed and you ceased your movements. His words took a few thrumming beats of your heart to register. Aemond’s insinuation finally hit you. He believed, upon seeing you and Daeron asleep against one another, that feelings were beginning to bloom. You understood why he was suddenly so sour. 

You were a human and the slightest notion of you so much as coupling with an elf must have been what angered him. He expressed his reservations about you being less because of your race in the past. It had angered him even further that he thought you were not just trying to go after an elf, but a member of the royal family no less. He barely thought you were good enough to consider a friend.

“Oh, no-” You tried to interject and clarify, but Aemond interrupted again. 

“Best get back to work.” He gave you an uncomfortable smile as if hiding a tinge of pain and quickly exited the room. You were left alone in the laboratory. The bubbling of the pots became a background noise as the thrumming of your heart took over. You did not know why it was beating so quickly. At no point in that exchange did you feel scared or hunted, yet your heartbeat betrayed you. A heat had returned to your face and you shook your heat in an attempt to ground yourself. 

You moved to stir the two pots all while trying to ease the unknown feelings budding in your chest.

Chapter 11: A New Ally Preview

His eyes narrowed and you could tell his temper had flared. He then stood chest to chest with you and raised his arm. You stood with your shoulders straight, willing to take whatever he threw at you. Cole would not have you act out in violence towards him. Despite having made incredible progress here, your record was not entirely clean since your run into the woods. If you chose to attack an elf – especially a council member – no amount of advocacy on Helaena’s, Daeron’s or even Aegon’s account would save you from harsh punishment. 

As Cole narrowed in to strike you, a voice interrupted, “I hope I am gravely mistaken for what I am witnessing.”

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[cherryrikis]

BETTER LUCK TOMORROW - introduction ! senior project

pairing : nishimura riki x reader

synopsis : after being in the wrong place at the wrong time, you (as well as your friends), were framed for the death of your brother and disappearance of your boyfriend. you all had no hope. no job, no money, none of you were even allowed to graduate. at least, until a stubborn kid on a dance scholarship suddenly acts as your savior, riki helps clear your name all for the sake of a school project.

this episode contains the following : 1.3k wc, brief swearing, mentions of death & mentions of murder/killing, lots of dialogue

previous | masterlist | next

“as you all know, you have a major senior project due by the end of the year for part of your college interviews. this will be worth 90% of your grade and is not optional. any questions to far?” riki’s english teacher read off the whiteboard, before turning to face the class.

she cleared her throat loudly before continuing.

“late work will not be accepted, because you have until may 25 to get this project submitted. everyone should know which college they plan on attending, or applying to by now. a google slides format must be be at least 25 slides, and a word doc should be at least 10 pages.”

jungwon quoted the teacher, explaining to riki what’s expected of them after he realized riki hadn’t been paying attention.

“how the hell did you remember all she said? and- why are you even here.. you’re like, a freshman in college.” riki noticed, with a visible look of confusion on his face.

“sophomore, actually. and i’m here for volunteer work! we have finals too you know. i was telling you and sunoo about this last week, but it’s for my social thought class!-” jungwon explained with a smile, only for it to drop as he was cut off .“yeah yeah okay. so what kind of topic am i supposed to pick?” riki asked before crumpling up a random paper into a ball, tossing it in jungwons direction.

jungwon let out a sigh. “riki, you really need to do better. if you can’t improve how you act, that impact will show on my grade as well. and that won’t be good for either of us.” he said as he took the paper ball, unfolding it to reveal riki’s report card from last quarter. it wasn’t too bad really, mainly straight a and b minuses. but the biggest issue, was behavior and participation.

“how would your grade tanking be bad on me? i still have until fall before i start going to ucla.”

“i really don’t know how you got in.” jungwon shook his head.

“dance scholarship. duh.” “nishimura riki! you have 7 more minutes to determine your main topic. i recommend that you use your time more wisely.” the teacher called out from her desk.

“okay seriously, now we have to focus. what topics are you interested in?” jungwon asked, as he pulled his notebook out.

“well, i like dancing. i can research the history on different dance styles.” riki shrugged, loosely putting an idea out there.

“that’s actually not that bad, especially as a dance major. let’s sit on that idea for a bit in case anything else comes up. what else do you like?” jungwon hummed while briefly scribbling a few notes in.

“i don’t even get why i still have to do this stupid assignment when i already heard back from ucla. if anything it’s a waste of my time, because this only benefits the kids who haven’t heard back yet.” riki complained.

“well,” jungwon chuckled. “the start of the fall semester is still a while from now, anything can change by then. they’re still gonna be looking at your final report card and all that. this is just to determine that your slot in that school is ensured. i think the you from freshman year would be proud to see you improve.”

but of course, he wasn’t listening. riki was hyper focused on his computer. at least until the last sentence stuck out to him.

“say that again?” riki questioned, making sure he heard jungwon right.

“the you from three years ago would be proud if you improved?” he repeated an improvised version, with a raised brow.

riki chewed on the bottom of his pen, before hastily writing something down on jungwon’s notebook.

“you.. you want to solve heeseung and jay’s case..?” jungwon stuttered as he read the notes. “how is this even related to what i said? is it because you were a freshman when it happened?”

“do you really believe yn was capable of killing them? i mean honestly, won. we grew up with her. she was heeseung’s little sister.” riki insisted, ignoring jungwon’s previous questions.

“i couldn’t believe it either, because there was no way it could’ve been her. but there was a lot of evidence that said otherwise.” jungwon informed, moving the notebook back onto his desk.

“also, don’t get mad when i say this. but, do you think the reason why you’ve been so fixated on yn being innocent is because you never got over your crush on her from middle school?”

“hey! shut the fuck up dude.” riki hissed, slapping the older boy on the back of his head. “and she was someone we were close to, a 17 year old at the time. it just isn’t likely.”

“age doesn’t mean anything. 35% of murders in america were committed by people ranging between 17 and 21. and, 28% of murders are committed by a relative or acquaintance. chances are low but not zero.” a girl butt in from behind the them. riki whipped his head back to see who it was, only to wish he never turned around.

minji kim. a pain in the original friend groups ass since elementary school.

the two stared at her with two completely different expressions. riki looked minji up and down with a frown, while jungwon just blinked slowly with wide eyes.

“what? do you seriously not remember me?” she scoffed.

“no trust me, we do, minji.” riki huffed before turning back around.

“we’re just wondering how you know that, is all.” jungwon hummed.

“my brother is a police officer now. i’m sure if you didn’t know who he was, one of your other friends might.” she snickered.

minjae kim. he is minji’s brother and one of the officers who handled the heeseung-jay case, aka one of the officers responsible for the arrests of yn and a few others. riki would know, because he attended the court hearing.

“minji, what topic have you selected?” the teacher asked as she briefly looked up from the computer screen.

“i will be making a slideshow on the history of ballet.” she answered with a proud smile. oh how riki just wanted to wipe that look off her face.

“and.. finally. riki and jungwon?”

"me and jungwon will investigate the lee siblings case, from 3 years ago." and the teachers face fell.

"riki, i don't know if this is a good topic write on. you still have time to change your mind-"

"no. this is what i want to do. i want to solve the murder of heeseung lee, and the disappearance of jay park." riki cut off the teacher with determination.

and the class went silent.

"there's nothing to solve! yn lee killed her own brother, and her own boyfriend. case closed." minji said. but remember, her brother was one of the officers who testified against yn. of course, her opinion on the topic was just as biased as riki’s or jungwon’s could be.

"shut up minji, your brother got demoted for a reason. and, you didn't know yn." jungwon waved off.

"you may have known heeseung but that doesn't mean you know her. and i know enough about yn lee to see that shes a cold hearted killer." "enough!" the teacher interrupted.

"fine. riki and jungwon, you may pursue this case. but we have to set some boundaries. first off, you may use any public sources or personal connections. secondly, when contacting any sources like publishers or officers, do not push the limit. if they say certain answers to questions are confidential, then respect that. third and foremost, absolutely do NOT contact the lees or the parks. leave any involved families out of this, especially now that miss yn lee is out of juvie."

she teacher sighed in slight relief as she saw jungwon and riki nodding in agreement.

but what she didn’t see, was how their fingers were crossed behind their backs.

taglist ! @jiiyen @prettiestgirlontheplanet @hannicorpse @wonsboo @murazbae @stilesks @soobinbunnie5 @blvengene @r1kification @gyuvision @goldenmellow @ariluvssssss100 @who-tf-soddhi @mmurazz @jaemified @strawberrieswithchocolateo3o @heartheejake @hoonsdrnkdzd

not proofread

[reimenaashelyee]

The World in Deeper Inspection UPDATE Read: (Chapter 1: Pages 57 to 68) (COMPLETED)

About the comic

Grimsley confronts the man who set him on this goose chase.

And with that… that’s the end of the 10th Anniversary revamp!! Can’t believe it took me almost a year to get this short project done, but blame my school and day job for that! *drives the nail into the TWIDI IS NOT DEAD sign deeper into the wall*

It was enlightening to reinterpret my first ever completed comic (more complete than the strips and unfinished or one-off shorts I had done prior) – basically the one that started me down the road to a career as a published author. I was happy to see how much my style had improved – not just in the layout, flow and pacing – but in how my characters have become more expressive and energetic, and how comfortable I am with the cartooning. Here is the proof that drawing comics helps you get better at comics!! It only took 10 / 11 years!

Plus, after a long while of drawing with a more reserved, professional approach (see: Seance Tea Party, Alexander Comic), I enjoyed the abandon and whimsy of TWIDI. The lettering is inconsistent all over but that only adds to the handmade whimsical charm of TWIDI, so lol.

Anyway – I have the 10th Anniversary ebook edition up on my Ko-fi and itch.io! This edition carries both the original and revamped versions of Chapter 1. No new cover or illustration for it this time; I think they are perfect as they are.

I have been meaning to make a continuation of the end of TCM that bridges the start of Chapter 1. It’s a long time coming: a story that had somewhat existed since the early days of TWIDI in 2010. Hopefully I will find that stability in my life to return.

Open the cut below to see my notes.

There’s also nothing exciting here, EXCEPT I severely cut down on the number of panels (and the verbiage).

As with the previous spread I cut down and distilled a lot of the verbiage. I shifted the dialogue slightly so that the reveal that Mr. Brown is a Lord comes from Grimsley (in 2013, Mr Brown never admitted he was an aristrocrat until this page) – it made more sense since Grimsley had gotten the info independently from the newspaper article and Andrew, and Mr Brown not mentioning it himself fits with his whole lying thing. For this spread and the next couple of them I am zooming out the panels to include more scenery. The 2013 layouts felt very claustrophobic, with the over-reliance on bust shots of the characters to carry the tension of the conversation.

Some more dialogue trimming and background scenery. I decided to change the setting for the chase sequence to be within the cemetery – just ’cause it makes more sense than if it was done all around Brookham. The panelling for it is a bit more dynamic too – look, Grimsley is parkouring!!

I have no idea why 10 (actually, 11) years ago I had so much trouble conveying and pacing this sequence of Mr Brown being set on fire. That’s the hindsight of experience, I guess??? Anyway I added a few more panels for actual build-up, and the blocking is way better now – there’s more energy (especially Skeleton’s expressions) and clarity (omg we can finally see where and what’s happening to the lamp). The last panel is a new addition to better connect with the next spread. Also… I am excited to see how much further I can draw Mr. Brown’s demise.

Man, the difference some changes in pacing can make. I added some panels with witnesses to the fire, just to emphasise why Grimsley and Skeleton have got to run. It’s crazy enough if a Brookie has got to witness immolation in the middle of the Night, but two paranatural spookies??? Also human fat has such a colour hdsjkfhsdkf the things that come out of an immolated body are so eerie….

The 2013 spread is almost perfect. 18 Year Old Me got it.

[zzencat]

Some of my own Tarot observations + interpretations so far (outside of their universal meanings):

Note: NOT IN ORDER and does not include all cards; these are some of my outside-the-box interpretations. Some 18+ mentions. Mostly made as a list for me to keep in mind; feel free to keep or refer to

Will be updated sometimes

Last updated: Dec 2, 2024

Queen of Swords: sharp tongue, head over heart (naturally unbiased, yet still neutral and self-defensive); will come to your defense if she trusts you and what your argument is; very logical; feminine energy/figure mentor; sad but wise

Queen of Cups: expects reciprocation; very emotionally in tune and intuitive; can be emotionally manipulative/toxic; takes others’ emotional burdens as their own;

The Star: inspiration, young at heart, unforgettable impression; status of celebrity/public recognition

3 of cups: cheating (in romantic relationship); a feeling or person that doesn’t belong; “3 is a crowd”

The Hermit: urging to taking a “step” in an unknown direction (there’s only so much you could light up with the lamp), either a step into the inner depths of your character, mind, and soul, or a step forward in a life/daily choice

4 of wands: can symbolize moving somewhere else; stability; complacency; emotional satisfaction where you are/what you have done so far

4 (in general) - stability, contemplation, stagnation, defensive/defending (a person/situation/establishment/achievement/foundation), conservation

Numbers 5 and 7 - “pit stops” in my definition ,, 5 being first big blockage, and 7 being the extra doubt when things are going a lil too good

4 of pentacles: doing too much/too little; selfish; frugal/strict with money

2 of Cups: dating stage (not necessarily love, but potential for it), mature connection (potential for emotional, physical, and intellectual connection)

The Devil: can escape from situation but mentally/emotionally/physically bound/blinded; feeling full-on horny; engaging in sexual behavior/activities; being in an oppressive relationship or state of mind; abuse; depression/sadness, dealing with things in an unhealthy way; overindulgence

The Sun rx: not getting enough sun/not going outside enough, introversion; loss of youth; vulnerable — too vulnerable that you’re stripped dry and will disintegrate (lowkey pitiful)

The Chariot: maturity; knowing what you can handle and what you can’t/knowing your limits; ego mask (trying to appear stronger than you are/hiding a weaker counterpart); taking matters into your own hands; deciding which path to take (w/ decent amount of confidence)

The Hanged Man: seeing things from a different/uncomfortable perspective; boredom; laziness; masochism; inner peace with your uniqueness/difference (within society); example—think: L from Death Note

2 of swords: you alr know what the answer is/what to do so stop contemplating; taking a shot in the dark; challenging yourself or not really trying

The Tower: Self sabotage, erections, orgasms, tension building up that you didn’t realize was going to be released at some point; sudden disaster; can symbolize hope/optimism for change or in the midst of it

Ace of swords: erections, forming an idea (good or bad); complete truth; intellectual ass person; a revelation/HUGE change in the way of thinking/a reveal;

Page of swords: “I have an idea!” - but it’s from a kid so it comes off as cute and immature (underdeveloped idea/not to be taken seriously yet); curious; stalking/spying

Page of Wands: “I guess this is where we split, huh? It’s a shame, but I’ll see you at some point!”; doing things for the fun of it; noncommittal/spontaneous; bored easily

10 of swords (aside from backstabs and cutting things off, end of a cycle): sooooo done n tired with life and everything; sadder but stronger; eyebags; a clearly depressed person; the end to certain thinking cycles/patterns

9 of Swords: “this shit keeps me awake at night…”; reminding you of an event you need to do or get over with

6 of Swords: a quiet (spiritual or physical) passage to a better state of mind/place/being; a new, safer chapter

7 of Swords: pranks, avoidance/slipping away/trying to quietly escape (from an issue, from the public, from attention, from a public event) ; doing something for your own benefit at the expense of others; doing something dumb for no reason/gain; not asking for help when you totally can; cowardice

• The Moon (tmi but this is my least fav card in tarot 😂): confusion, “you don’t need to know that rn,” “how is this relevant to your life?”, “not any of your concern,” “it’s a secret” (Ted: this is my “stop asking abt it already” card); waxing and waning; deep and intense feelings; period/menstrual cycle; telling you to face you inner fears and demons or they’ll get worse

• The Moon + The high priestess? Period/menstruating; also associates with very heightened intuition or senses

2 of pentacles: hot and cold behavior, juggling life, duality in personality

Hanged man, 8 of swords, the devil: pretty much the same when talking abt stagnant energy [you have completely power to leave and improve your situation, but ya ain’t bc of your own self (mentally/emotionally)]; purposely trapping yourself in that state and playing victim; masochistic tendencies (in sex as well); clearly in an oppressive state but still stays in it; bondage (in sex as well)

5 of wands: instigator, paying attention to the lesser of two evils, someone who easily gets into fights/argumentative but can’t see the bigger picture

Wheel of fortune, 2 of wands, the chariot: make a decision even if you think it’s the wrong path or direction; the worst thing you can do is stop/be in stagnancy

Judgment: playing by your own tune, reflection, needing to change up old ways; the ability to adapt/adjust well despite going through adversity or hardship; can also mean sexually arousing

Justice: good or bad karma, not getting what you deserve, being too harsh on oneself/strict; working in the justice system

High priestess + the chariot + temperance (+ maybe the moon): when in the same reading, it can signify movement between realms (I just observed this in recent readings so I’d need to get more info); being at an interface or point of equilibrium

High Priestess: seeing things people can’t normally see; a state between the 3D and 5D; secrecy

7 of cups (I’ve officially defined this one a while ago and am 99% sure it represents at least one of these whenever it shows up): frustration; impatience; idleness; procrastination; confusion; many things offered to you; not knowing what to do next (HOWEVER a big nuance between 7 of cups and 4 of cups, is that 7oC is more…“active” energy, like more…emotionally charged in frustration than 4oC. 4oC is more bordering indifference when waiting for things to play out or waiting for more to come in before you make a decision…waiting for the “right” moment. 7oC is like you’re gonna choose one of the options while you have them—you just don’t know what to do/choose or which way to go); telling you to develop better discernment; deciding whether or not this will serve you long term (emotionally or in general)

King of cups: being emotionally receptive and kindhearted but also naive—not as emotionally intelligent or intuitive as the Queen of cups tho

4 of cups: shit waiting on the back burner but querent/subject is purposely tuning them out (slightly more in depth under the 7oC bullet point); stalling bc you keep trying to have hope a better outcome will surface

Queen of wands: willing to get hands dirty to get what you want, spontaneous/moving without plan

Wheel of Fortune: having to adjust; “really depends on what you’re gonna do next” (Ted: I often get this card when I read for myself in the present- I take it as “up to you/your choice”)

Queen of pentacles: smart, practical, organized (more so than the other queens)

The Lovers: primal desire for the other (romantic or platonic); seeking validation (presumably one feels less/“more naked” in the face of the other); taking you “out of yourself”; deliberately putting yourself in a vulnerable position even if you lose yourself in the process; quality you desire to have within yourself (may cause unhealthy behaviors/thinking patterns); connection with your counterpart (meaning also your relationship with yourself); mind, body, and soul connection (own personal holy self trinity)

Blindfolds: easily cut/removed -> answer/preferred direction or method is right in front of you, but you’re choosing not to see it or do it

8 of swords: (in a courtroom example) the defendant is the person trapped in the swords — the swords in this case would be the people’s opinions of the person or their own thoughts (any of which are in the form of ideas that are projected and trap the defendant inside that “cage”)

7 of wands: too much responsibility on querent/subject; a bit defensive/on guard (not as much as 9 of wands tho)

9 of pentacles: having time to relax and do what you want like hobbies or hitting people up; spoiled (rich background); living in luxury so you don’t have to worry about other things

5 of pentacles: mental illness or declining mental health (when you could get help right around the corner); being physically sick; refusing to ask for help; being shut out from help from big institutions/organizations

3 of swords: depression (apparent or underlying); deep sorrow; unfulfilled emotional desires; being on your period

TBA

Extras:

From what I’ve observed and tested out, Tarot reading picks up on energies at the current millisecond — energies are more fluid than time and change every single second — cards will pick up on the overwhelming majority of where the energy is (assuming the tarot reader is at a balanced and unbiased state of mind). You could be happy one minute, sad the next (maybe moodiness problems)

Cards will pick up on future spouse qualities that you dream of yours having (or fantasize about) and not necessarily always your real future spouse

Sometimes the cards “don’t answer” your question. The cards that come out are what you’re supposed to be focusing on/fixing instead

—————————-

Things to note when reading with the Celtic Cross:

The 9th card will usually dominate the whole reading along with the basis (3rd card)

The 4th card indicates not only past event/influence(s) fizzing out but also past things/people that have affected you and your behavior to this day (the “old” basis)

The basis/foundation position (card 3) is a mindset card too- mindset is to be considered when you wonder how the outcome came to be

The final outcome (card 10) shows the likeliest possibility, whereas the possible outcome (card 5) shows an alternative OR an extension of what happens AFTER the outcome

1st card can represent you/person/situation/subject but if you’re doing a reading FOR someone else, the court card in this position can indicate them or a person in their lives they haven’t mentioned yet (that have influence on them, hence driving their actions/mindset)

TBA

[sea-of-dust]

Ranpo,Chuuya,Atsushi x M!Reader

My hand slipped while I was doing math homework and i accidentally wrote this. This is my first time writing for a male reader I'm sure I'll be fine (this is going to be worse than my math grades)

Warnings: mentions of alcohol, mentions of bruising,death implications,might be a lil ooc I haven't watched bsd in a hot minute

Oh? You have sweets? Are able to bake?? What's that, you're able to spoil him? Yea, he's imagining how to rizz you up before you two were ever dating. "Y/n thinks you're cool" "really?" He lights up at the mention of you "he does think you're kinda werid tho" he pouts disapointedly, will be whining about this

You're like another piece of candy! You're not escaping him. You thought you were allowed to leave? No. "Y/n we need you on this" "alright" "I should go too" he raises his hand popping another candy into his mouth "he can solve this himself" "well I can make it so they're right back here in secounds" "whenever I go out with you the minimums like 3 hours" you cringe remembering the holes he digs into your wallet. "That's irrelevant!"

If you ever did manage a task alone, he'd be annoyed for the rest of the day, so annoyed he actually opens his eyes to glare at people. "30 minutes" "would have been a few secounds if you took me with you" you sigh kissing his forehead "I'm sorry I didn't bring you it would have been too boring for a great detective like you" he proudly huffs "well it would have been fine since it would be with you" will make you tell him how it went and it'll always end with him saying "I knew it! This is why you should bring me"

He does get hurt sometimes, but when he does, it's just a small scab at most. Never the less you still treat him. "Don't give me the teddy bear ones those are for babies!" "They fit you're aesthetic, though." "they do not!" Applying the bandage carefully, you watch him lift his pant leg higher to reveal another small bruise. "Are you serious?" "Well were already here" does like looking at your handiwork from time to time.

Wants you to stay up and tell him stories and is pretty understanding when you say you're too tired to. "Y/n! Are you up to read 12 angry men?" "Ranpo I'm heading straight to bed" you rub your eyes sluggishly, walking past him to change out of your clothes to something more comfortable. "Alright, but you owe me more pages than usual" "deal" he plops onto you as you cover yourself with the blanket. He doesn't even attempt to gain spoilers or read ahead if this happens. He really likes hearing your voice,trying to act out certain characters. He might even ask questions he knew the answer to just to hear more of you. "Wait, so why'd he agree?" "Because that guy's thinking about his son throughout the conversion by putting his past with his son behind him he accepts the fact the kid on trial isn't his son and shouldn't be found guilty" "he should've just agreed when everything else got debunked" "yea well sometimes stuff like that holds someone back"

"Do you like wine?" "No" "?!" How did you guys even date? Wait nevermind besides that wine thing, you're pretty great 10/10, not returning

He would use his ability to quite litterally sweep you off your feet. Feeling the sudden decrease in weight, you feel as if you're floating on air. "What the-" he casually grabs something out the fridge "that's the last one" "that's why I stopped you" sometimes he'd just leave you floating for an extra 5 secounds, gracefully hold your hands and and help you down. "Can't have you bursting your head open" "I was two feet off the ground" he sighs, you pull him close kissing his cheek "thank you for saving my fall Chuuya" and that's why he does it often

He does get a bit cranky, but it's usually when he has a bad day. He likes bad days if you're at the end of them, though. You'd always let him sleep somewhere or stay up and watch you try to open wine for him and fail or succeed. "Finally!!" You popped open the bottle with the Cork flying out. "Wait, where'd it go-" hearing a small thud, you see the cork crack the floor due to its sudden change of what seems to be weight. "There's a tool for that." he pulls out the drawer and shows you it nonchalantly, "but that was kinda impressive"

"I wanna get a dog" "we should get married." The guy would be on the brink of tears. A dog? And you two are living together? He's gonna love that dog. Unfortunately, that dog mostly followed you around. It likes him, but the millisecond you're there that dog lays with you,sleeps with you, he's starting to get jealous of both you and the dog! You still catch him petting it going. "You're so fluffy! Who's a good boy who's a good-" the dog sees you and walks toward you it's tail wagging .How are you fluffy?" There'd be such a defeated look on his face

Definitely would be judgemental and then do some strange shit. You'd catch him dancing in the halls? Nothing to see here, only him getting slightly upset you didn't say anything. Pulling out every product known to man to bathe the dog, it's pretty adorable. You still don't say a thing, only smiling when you see it, still a bit annoyed you didn't say anything As soon as he catches you posing with his clothes...he's flattered time to make fun of you. "What are you doing" you turn around smoothly "Why I'm Chuuya Nakahara of the port mafia" you moon walk over to him "that is not how I introduce myself" "yea you introduce yourself by trying to show off your taste in wine to someone that hates it" "you worked at a liquor store!" "I dont have to drink wine to work there" you take off his coat to put it back, but he quickly slides it back on "keep it on for a while I wanna savor this"

You taught him what a flash game is. "OK so then this guy wants uhhh" "oh my god its Wally" "WHERE" unironcally so emerged in papa's games its aggressively odvious you two aren't working, you're are lucky you specialize in speedrunning paper work the secound half of the work days basically just you two getting bullied by the food critic

He's pretty shy for a lover infact when you start dating, he still feels like a friend more than a boyfriend. So when you ask him out, expect him to hide away somewhere nervous he might say something werid, he'll suck it up for you though! He's got this! It's just a museum! He can- you held his hand, and his confidence is down the drain. How he managed to keep composed is a miracle. Surprisingly for him, he didn't do anything he'd think would embarrass him in the future. He's definitely gonna ask to go on more dates in the future.

You try to help him with tiger matenence. Including getting loads of dirt out of his paws and even splinters sometimes "Alright ready" "I never will be for AH-" he winces pulling away, but you hold out his arm "you're fine lemme put on a bandaid" they do feel nice after you clean then though a bit numb

Attempting to teach him games will get him to teach Kyōka. "Y/n would you like to play quack diddly oso ?" "You know how to play that? I thought it was too old" "Atsushi taught me" you decide to ask him about it. He would get a bit embrassed, his mind racing about what you'd do or say. "Maybe I should try and teach her numbers too" he sighs in relief leaving you a bit confused but you infact did teach her numbers, a horrible day for Ranpo in particular as she and you easily beat your record of 57 with him. You didn't need her approval for dating Atsushi, but you still got it because of some children's games

You wouldn't be surprised by how mushy he could get. He'd overthink about the dangers you two face being apart of the Ada. He'd get trembaly grabbing onto your hands for their warmth. "I'll be fine. I'm more worried for you" "But what if you get hurt cause of me!" "I gladly will" "That's the issue!" He grabs your shoulders."What if you-" "Then yosano will take care of me" You pull him close, letting him calm down. "You're hopeless." "I won't regret a thing"

[puffyducks]

DCRC Week #20 (Part 1)

Guys how has it already been 20 whole weeks time isn't real. Anyways speaking of, we're reading PKNA #16: Extraordinary Repairs which is a huge deal cause it means that after waiting 20 whole weeks I CAN FINALLY DOXX CAMERA 9'S FULL LEGAL NAME AND ADDRESS!!! IT'S S-

Okay FINE I guess I'll wait to say his name until we actually get to the right part in this post. And idk why I've even prevented myself from saying his real name in front of my friends that are going through this series for the first time cause it's not even like a secret or revelation, they literally tell you his name at the end of Day of the Cold Sun in his character sheet, but nobody reading the English fan translations would know that because nobody has uploaded translated versions of the character sheets (yet...) ANYWAYS

Just as a heads up to anyone who is reading this comic for the first time, the English translating here is a little scuffed (I assume whoever translated this chapter wasn't a native English speaker) so there are occasional grammatical mistakes but nothing too severe that it limits the effect of the story!

Angus I can PROMISE you do not want to start doing research into Everett Ducklair, do you know how many fuckin doomsday weapons he kept "accidentally" making??? You don't want the smoke.

What kind of fucking idiot steps into an elevator shaft without stopping to see if the elevator is ACTUALLY THERE omfg I hope he hits the bottom and dies

GUYS HE SAID THE- HE SAID THE TITLE OF THE CHAPTER!!!

ALSO HDL MENTION 🔥🔥🔥

guys.... there he is.... the man of the hour

shoutout to the way the other guy is drawn in this panel btw (his ears fell off I guess)

OHOHOHO TRENCHCOAT REVEAL!!! GUYS I AM GIDDY AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I JUST THINK HE'S NEAT

HE SAID THE THING

why he ourple

OHHH YEAHHH IT'S YA BOI STEFAN MOTHAFUCKIN VLADUCK!!! Who appears to be constantly having a series of PTSD-related war flashbacks but ummm let's not worry about that right now

It's really interesting to me that Donald is a fan of Stefan's work. I mean media was obviously different in the 90s but still, when's the last time you heard someone bring up their favorite photographer? Either Stefan is FAMOUS famous or Donald is one of like 10 people that like to read the credits under newspaper photos.

This panel makes me laugh cause out of context it looks like Stefan is running away from PK (on account of his huge torn up fucking evil looking cape) bro is literally FNAF 2 jumpscaring at him

I FUCKING TOLD YOU

Coolest character design of all time (literally just a duck in a trenchcoat)

What have you seen WHAT HAVE YOU SEEN. 200 page comic docuseries covering all of Stefan's horrifying past experiences NOW!!!!!

You're telling me Ducklair was in his basement building fuckin DINOSAURS??.... ok I can't lie that's cool as fuck good for him

So close except actually not close at all. Granted PK does hang out in Ducklair Tower all the time, but it's not like Angus knows that 😭

Love how much this laser gun just looks like a regular pistol

Me reading poorly written analysis posts of DT17 sorry

I love evil fucked up PK can we keep him like this actually

PAPERINIK MURDERS ANGUS FANGUS IN COLD BLOOD (REAL)

Nvm we just gave him a concussion. also hi Stefan 👋

Also we drugged him. Y'know just for good measure!

NO FUCKING WAY YOU GUYS EYEBALL REVEAL 🔥🔥🔥 HE HAS GREEN EYES. or at least one green eye... I guess he could have heterochromia or something whatever

btw this is the most we'll ever see of his face so SOAK IT IN FOLKS (at least, the most we'll see in PKNA, there's like one singular comic from 2016 that shows his entire face if you're curious. You can just google his name and the photos will come up.)

SHOUTOUT TO THE LITTLE CAMERA 9 END HERE IT'S SO SILLY.

I love this issue, Camera 9/Stefan is probably one of my favorite characters. He's just fuckin cool man idk what to tell you. He's fairly inconsequential in the grand scheme of things but I like having him around, he's a fun character to add as a little bit of flavor to a series with so many ongoing narratives. I do wanna highlight this bit of text from the bottom of his Paperpedia page (which has been auto-translated from Italian and might be a bit off):

I'm so incredibly intrigued by the analysis here because, if true, I wanna know whose idea it was to start referencing classical Luigi Pirandello literature in a Donald Duck comic. I'm not saying I don't want my duck comics to have commentary on media sensationalism and alienation, but I am saying that it's certainly unexpected. Still a welcome topic!

I used most of my image limit covering the main comic so I won't be able to add a lot about the bonus comic but I will say: WAHHH WAHHHH THIS IS THE LAST TRIP COMIC 😭😭😭 at least for a while anyways. There are the Trip's Strip comics but I haven't seen anyone translate those into English and they also start at like chapter 40 so

Is the Raider just fucking allergic to dressing normally like what's going on here. Also HAHA TRIP THOUGHT HIS DAD DIDN'T COME TO THE GAME BUT HE WAS ACTUALLY WATCHING THE WHOLE TIME, EVERYONE POINT AND LAUGH 🫵 YOUR DAD LOVES YOU HAHAHA LOSER

Goodbye Trip, my sweet summer child... my child who sucks so fucking bad. He's the worst I'm gonna miss him. And ummm see you later with more spooky Carl Barks!

[drabblesandimagines]

Kitty (part 10)

Parts 1-9 here. Rei x (afab) reader Warnings: Bit of vulgar language ahead

--

Rei parks the obscenely yellow car at the gates, the security raising an eyebrow at the vibrant colour as the Suwa heir is revealed to be the driver. They were expecting him, so not long after he shuts the car door, the heavy iron gates buzz and slide open to permit him entry, revealing the grand walk up to the manor. It’s the last defense of the Suwa household, guard posts nestled in between the trees the whole way up to the imposing building he once called home. He keeps a solid pace as he walks, his face expressionless. He soon reaches the porch, strides up the steps and enters through the unlocked front doors, not surprised to find the ground floor empty at this early hour. He ascends the stairs, slowly, his heart keeping rhythm with his footsteps as he walks on autopilot to the Boss’ study.

He pauses at the door, raps his knuckles against the heavy wood twice, and enters. The Boss is sat at his desk, as usual, a pile of folders over to his right-hand side. He’ll be divvying out assignments this morning, it seems. Perhaps this is what this is about.

“Morning, Boss.” Rei bows his head in a forced show of respect.

The man continues to write, not acknowledging his son’s presence until he concludes his paperwork.

He looks up at last, “You look well.” He lays down his fountain pen, laces his fingers under his chin.

“And you.”

The two men stare at each for a moment, before Boss breaks it with what sounds suspiciously like a chuckle. Rei has never heard his father laugh before.

“I must admit, I didn’t think you had it in you, Rei. Didn’t believe it when I was first told. Not my son, not the heir to the illustrious Suwa clan.” Rei doesn’t respond. There’s a horrible feeling growing in his stomach. His father frisbees a file towards his legs – déjà vu from the last time he was here, certainly. He unconsciously held a breath as he bent down and opened it. Inside, there’s a single page document and two photographs. The photographs are of both you and him, walking along the riverbank, one with you holding hands, the other without. It’s the day you went to Kyu’s. The document holds little to no information, the name, occupation, family history and background information fields are all blank. The only real information is a detailed physical description, and a guess of your age. Maybe in other circumstances he’d feel relieved, that they didn’t know anything about you, but what little information he sees now is enough to shake him to his core.

“No name, age, family lineage. Unimportant. You can understand why I would struggle to see why my son, my bloodline would be interested in such an insignificant peasant. Ogino, though…” Rei lifts his eyes, slowly, from the folder to his father once more. He can’t stare at it for too long, he can’t react, can’t show emotion and especially around the mention of Ogino. “Well, he recognized her as that traitor Aktomi’s house whore. He was your hit, wasn’t it?”

“Yes, Boss.” He wants to so badly defend your honour - you weren’t that at all – but maybe this could be a saving grace.

“I thought, perhaps, you’d taken her for your own pleasure, but that doesn’t explain this inane display of affection.” The Boss removes his laced fingers from beneath his chin, leans back in his chair and cracks his knuckles. “Did you think I’d permit you a bride of your choice when it came to expanding the Suwa bloodline? Your offspring will go on to run this Organization. The mother needs to be worthy of that honour. Your nameless woman, you don’t even know if she’s of good breeding stock. Tell me, have you already had a go?”

Rei can feel the anger bubble away in his stomach at the way his father is speaking about you – kind, gentle, sweet you – in such vulgar terms, but he can’t let it show and he won’t. It’s too dangerous. This is what he’s trained for.

“No.” He looks up, his tone firm.

“Then what is the meaning of this?”

He has to play this carefully, even if the words will leave a bitter taste in his mouth. “Aktomi didn’t even break her in. Timid, submissive little thing – said she’d be our maid if we spared her. I thought it would be entertaining. I’ve been toying with her but, as you say, she’s not worthy of the Suwa clan. I’ve grown bored since this image was taken.”

Boss drums his fingers on the desk in thought, before a smile creeps across his face. “I gave you time to tie up your affairs, Rei, and this is what you’ve chosen to do with it? My, maybe living away has had a positive influence on you after all. You have until the New Year to return home to learn how to run the Organization. I’ll remind you again how generous I have been with you with this extended absence.”

“Yes, Boss. I appreciate your patience. Thank you.” He walks forward, places the folder containing the little information on his father’s desk and bows his head respectfully, before turning and exiting the study, closing the door softly behind him. Although calm and collected on the outside, Rei’s stomach is swirling as he heads along the hallway and back down the grand staircase. The photograph of his mentor’s wife is vivid in his mind, except now where her face was, all he can see is yours. He can’t allow that to happen, not to you…

“Hello, again.” Ogino is on a bench in the foyer, flipping through his beloved notebook. “Back again so soon?”

Rei doesn’t reply, he keeps on walking towards the main door. One step in front of the other, repeat that, keep calm. He wants to get home, he needs to get home to see you. His hand is on the door handle…

“Tell me,” the notebook slaps shut, “Does she remember who she is yet? I’ve been thinking, in case she comes up for a hit - do I really want to sacrifice a space in my book for a stupid bitch who doesn’t remember her own name?”

Rei’s grip tightens on the handle.

“If I do, do you think I’ll fill the whole page with her s-s-s-stuttered last words?” He mocks.

Rei meets his eyes, but Ogino’s face remains blank. He can’t do anything, he shouldn’t do anything, not here in this house and especially under his Boss’ watch. It’ll only put you in danger, that is as if you’re not already. He jerks the handle down and pulls the door open, leaving with composure, his hands down by his sides though it takes everything in them not to clench them. He wants to run back to the car, but he can’t. He can’t let them know they’ve rattled him.

The walk back down to the main gates is painfully slow, although Rei knows he’s a fast walker. He gets in the car and drives, being careful not to speed away but he does go some distance before he eventually pulls over by the side of the road. He rips his gloves off before loosening the tie from around his neck in the hope it will help him breathe, unbuttoning his shirt a little. It’s only a moment or so later when his phone rings. He knows it’ll be Kazuki. The blonde would have tracked his phone and kept an eye on his movements as soon as he discovered the note.

He accepts the call, wordlessly.

“You okay?”

“Fine.” He’s anything but fine, but he doesn’t want Kazuki to know he’s scared.

“If you say so… Anyway,” Kazuki sighs, “Miri was in a terrible mood this morning when she found out Misaki had left without saying goodbye. Not even that chocolate cereal could cheer her up. Wouldn’t let me take her to daycare either, insisted it had to be Kitty. Not sure why she’s off the hook…”

“Mm.”

“So, are you heading back now? Kyu rang a short while ago - wants to see us.”

It’s rare that Kyu requests them both. “Can’t you go on your own?”

“Nah, he said he needs to see the both of us. Do you want to just meet me there?”

“Fine.” He grunts, thinking for a moment. “Bring Kitty.”

“He said just us…”

“Bring Kitty.” He repeats, looking at the bag holding his clothes in the back seat. He wants out of the suit right now.

“Is everything okay?”

Rei pulls his hair free from its tie, shaking his head to settle it back in its regular position. “Kazuki… please.”

“Okay. We’ll see you there, bud.”

He hangs up, gets out of the car and into the backseat, ridding himself of his suit and back into his jeans, t-shirt and jacket. The tightness in his chest, however, doesn’t subside.

--

There’s been an odd energy in the apartment that morning, though understandable given the events of last night. Rei’s vanished on an errand and Miri is in a terribly bad mood upon discovering Misaki left without bidding her farewell, or when they would see each other again. She seems to be placing the blame solely on Kazuki and you feel awful for the blonde, as he replies to her curt statements with loving, reassuring words. Miri insists you take her to daycare and when you try and suggest gently that the three of you go together, it feels like you can see Kazuki’s heart break in front of you when she emphasizes that it can only be you.

Although you’re feeling better, Kazuki insists your temperature is checked with the thermometer first before he’d let you take her, gently reminding Miri that you hadn’t been well yesterday, after all. Your temperature is back to normal and you half-wonder if Kazuki would lie and say you were still feverish, so he could use the walk to daycare to try and soothe Miri, but he’s honest and waves the two of you off, plastering a smile on.

The little girl is unusually quiet on the walk to daycare, despite your best efforts to engage her in a little conversation. When you’re near the daycare, she spots her friends in the playground and seems to perk up a little, even asking when Papa Rei will be back.

“L-later,” you reply, thinking back on the note.

You barely get a step back into the apartment, not even bent down to take your shoes off when Kazuki’s voice calls through.

“Kitty, leave your shoes on – we’re going out.” Kazuki steps into sight – his jacket’s already on, a bag over his shoulder, like he’s just been waiting for you to return.

“O-out?”

“Yeah, need to go see Kyu. Spoke to Rei, he’s going to meet us there.” He explains, walking over and stepping down to slip his shoes on. “Did Miri cheer up any?”

“No,” you shake your head. “I t-think she’ll c-cheer up after a d-day with her f-friends, though.” You think back to her smile when she’d seen them, waving her over to come play. Their company will be a good distraction.

“Yeah, I hope so.” He sighs, and then offers you a bright smile – for whose benefit is unclear. “Right, let’s go.”

--

Kazuki tells you what was said between the three of them last night – practically the same information that Rei had divulged but a little more fleshed out. As with Rei, you wish you knew what advice to offer, or the right words to say but at most you manage stuttered sympathetic phrases. You know Miri adores her papas and her mama, maybe they could all somehow live peacefully? But the fact she raised their professions seems like that won’t be possible.

Kazuki holds the door open for you as you enter the café and Kyu greets the two of you immediately, the establishment void of any other customers, although he does seem a little surprised by your presence. “Kitty, Kazuki…” He nods. “Ah, you’ve cut your hair. Looks nice.”

You nod in thanks.

“No Rei?”

“He’s on his way. Tea for me, please. Kitty, a coffee?”

“Y-yes, please.”

“Coming right up,” Kyu replies, but there’s an unasked question on his tongue. Kazuki nods at him, before his hand is on your lower back and he ushers you to the same booth that you and Rei had shared a week or so ago. He places his bag down on the table and begins to withdraw his laptop and some headphones.

“We need to talk some business. Kyu’s a little… secretive,” he explains, opening up his laptop and navigating to a folder. “It shouldn’t take that long, but I didn’t want you to be bored, so I downloaded that spy show from the beginning for you to catch up on!”

He loads up the video and plugs in the headphones, offering them to you. You don’t understand, really – you didn’t need to come with him, after all. You could’ve stayed in the apartment. But you don’t question – he’s got dark rings around his eyes and maybe he didn’t sleep well. He’s already upset enough, don’t pester him with unnecessary questions. Maybe he just wanted the company on the walk?

You take the headphones. “Okay. T-t-thanks, Zuki.”

He smiles, presses play and heads back to the counter. You pop in the headphones and listen to the opening theme. Not long after, Kyu comes over with your coffee, placing it down gently in front of you and you offer a polite smile as he does so.

You’re about a third of the way through when you see Rei enter the establishment. He looks at Kazuki and Kyu at the counter before his eyes scan the rest of the café, settling on you sat at the back. He smiles, though you swear you see him sag a little as he does so, but you smile in return, offering a little wave. He sits down at the counter besides Kazuki.

A loud explosion rings through the headphones, amping up the drama.

--

“If you want them both safe, you’ll understand why they can’t stay with you any longer. That’s why I called Miri’s mother and…” Kyu slides over an envelope. “..this is what I suggest for Kitty.”

Kazuki goes to push the envelope away outright, but Rei’s hand is on it before he can do so.

“Rei…”

“I’ve been foolish.” He replies, curtly, sliding a finger under the seal and removing the piece of paper within. His eyes scan it quickly. “Seems reasonable.”

“I’m glad you agree.” Kyu nods.

“What seems reasonable?” Kazuki snatches it out of his hands. “A refuge?”

“Kitty will be safe there and will get the help she needs. I thought it was bad enough you guys taking in a kid, but she’s clearly a traumatized young woman. It’s highly reviewed. I’ve made inquiries already – they have a space for her and I can take her there.”

“Rei, you can’t really want this. I thought you liked her…” Kazuki protests. He’d been encouraging his partner to go for it, so why is he now trying to make such a drastic move?

“I do like her.” He snaps back, before rubbing his temples.

“Then why send her away?” He spits out, tempers flaring.

“My father.”

Kazuki’s eyes widen in realization. “Is that what he wanted this morning?” He turns to Kyu. “Is she a hit?”

“No. I’ve not received any materials to suggest as such, I was only informed of the photos of the field day recently.” Kyu shrugs. “I made inquiries for Kitty the same time I reached out to Miri’s mother – I like to be prepared.”

“She’s not a hit yet,” Rei corrects. “I said some things to the Boss that I will never repeat, and he seemed satisfied with my answers, but Kitty can’t stay with us anymore. Not unless we keep her in the apartment, which makes us as bad as that bastard before.” He looks at Kyu. “How soon can you take her?”

“Tomorrow morning soon enough?”

He looks at Kazuki, who is flabbergasted. Can Rei so easily turn his emotions off? Of course he can – he does it on the job, frequently, but he thought Miri and you had begun to change that.

The blonde looks over his shoulder at you, but you’re far too engrossed in the drama to notice. There’s a smile on your face as you watch and his heart sinks as he faces the truth he’s been hiding from. Sure, they’ve made things work so far but Kyu is right - how can they sit and play happy families under the circumstances of how the four of you have come to be together? They’re both stone-cold killers, you and Miri have fallen into their lives accidentally. It wasn’t right to put either of you at risk anymore.

“We don’t tell them.” Kazuki mutters. “Either of them. We have a nice evening all together, okay? Kitty tomorrow, Miri the next.”

Rei grunts, swallowing down the lump in his throat. Swallowing down his emotions, just as he was taught.

-- Don't hate me x EDIT: Part 11.

[miabebe]

I Am What I Am (III)

A man of the shadows and a woman who belonged in the skies - fate could not have brought two more different people together. But was this fate or was this a choice?

Pairing - Im Changkyun x OC, Kim Mingyu × OC

Word Count - 9.3K

Warnings - mentions of guns, blood, death, mafia. This chapter has smut (fingering, unprotected sex)

Chapter summary - Torn between duty and desire, Na bi chooses to make a deal that may change everything. And to dream of that which didn't mean anything - 'Please don't fall in love with me Ms. Baek.'

| Previous chapter | Masterlist |

Yellow turned green when it poured through the blue curtains as Na bi looked at Changkyun under the sunlight for the first time.  

He was sprawled in her sheets, lying on his stomach, his bruised and bandage covered back, raising and falling rhythmically. The house was filled with only the sound of his soft breaths, and occasionally, the flipping of the pages Na bi was clearly only pretending to read - anyone could tell, her eyes barely ever left the dark-haired man. Her coffee grew cold on the table but she couldn’t care less, not when every inch of her was already very, very awake. Unlike him.  

Last night was…. something.

Emergency situations weren’t usually hard for Na bi to navigate through – it was her profession, she was trained for it and she dealt with it every day but somehow, when Changkyun collapsed in her arms last night, she froze. Why did he come here? Why did he come back to her? 

When his weight got too much for her to handle, she draped his arm around her shoulder and with the little energy left in her, half led, half dragged him to her bed and laid him on it, staring at his blood soaked back. Realising that the crimson was darkening with every passing minute, she hurriedly grabbed a pair of kitchen scissors, made a slit in the fabric and ripped his shirt open, revealing a troubling mess of red. Fuck, fuck, fuck. There seemed to be a blood-stained cloth wrapped around his lower back, evidence of a poor attempt to stop the bleeding. From its width, she figured the wound below should be at least a 10 to 15 cm wide and given all the blood, definitely, considerably deep.

“I’m going to call a cab.” Na bi reached for her phone. “We need to get you to a hospital.”  

“No.” He groaned softly, grabbing her wrist as she tried to get up. “No hospital.”  

“But- “  

“No. Hospital.” Though his voice was weak, there was a tone of finality in it that Na bi couldn't work past. 

At that exact moment, to her relief and her rescue, her phone began vibrating in her hand, flashing Seokmin’s name. When she picked it up, he sounded panicked and out of breath. Fair enough, her message earlier was short and cryptic, simply stating 'danger, come over' - okay, definitely worrying.

Glancing at Changkyun’s back, thinking quick, she assured her friend that everything was fine and instructed him to bring a suture kit and some bandages to her house right away, promising to answer his questions later before abruptly cutting the call.  

Getting it together, she moved fast, removing Changkyun’s shoes, adjusting him properly on the bed, rummaging through her closet, grabbing an old fading t-shirt, and a small bowl of water. Kneeling on the floor by his side, she removed the bits of ripped shirt and wiped away the stains of blood and dirt all over his back, eyes curiously falling on the tattoo between his shoulder blades. There were three red roses, stalks intertwined, blooming prettily on his back. Na bi wondered what it could possibly mean for him – it looked so delicate and soft, unlike what he seemed to have made his life around.

Over his shoulder he had another one, a writing this time – He who wears the crown, bears the crown.

“It was my father’s favourite quote.”

Na bi didn’t realise that she read it out loud when she let her fingers run over it. Or that his breath stopped under her touch.  

She moved her fingers down his back, over older, fading scars of cuts and wounds all over his skin, like a strangely drawn-out map.  

“Training.” He answered her unasked question.  

“For?”  

“Life.”  

“What kind of life is this Changkyun?” Na bi sighed. “What happened to you?”  

For the first time, he didn’t answer her. She looked over to see his eyes slowly fluttering shut as he began to slip away from her. 

“You need to hang in there.” She softly shook him, not letting the worry show in her voice. “Just a little longer.”  

But it took a lot longer than ‘a little’ for Seokmin to come with the supplies, thanks to Seoul’s uncharacteristic rains. When he knocked, Na bi immediately opened the door, grabbed the bag and shut the door, promising once again to explain everything when she had the time.

Although, she probably should have let him in because she really could have used an extra hand last night. All she had to do was a couple of sutures and usually, that didn't require much assistance but the moment Na bi freed Changkyun of his temporary torniquet, blood began to gush out like an open dam. By the time she had managed to get it under control, anesthetise, suture and dress his wound, he had lost far too much blood. And his consciousness.  

Sitting on her couch, Na bi sipped on her coffee as she watched his unmoving figure. She had been watching him this way nearly all night. After she finished treating him, cleaned up all the mess, showered and changed into her pajamas for the night, she took a step back to reassess everything.  

The day when she discovered Changkyun’s location, led him to her house and nearly slept with him…. she was drunk, she wasn’t in her right senses but now? Now she was entirely and consciously aware of her choices yet she didn’t know if she was making the right one. Curling up in her couch in the living space right across him, she let herself wander through the thoughts and possibilities. The wound on his back was clearly the result of an attack – did his enemies finally get to him? Wasn't she supposedly the key to finding him? How did they do it without her? Unless Changkyun assumed that she ratted him out? He wouldn't have come to her for help if he suspected that right? Or was he here for revenge? It was constant speculations like this that didn’t let her sleep.  

That and Changkyun’s groans. Through all of last night, Na bi helplessly watched him suffer - moving every time he felt pain and hurting every time he moved. But for the last 2 hours or so, he was surprisingly still, making her eyes flicker between the clock and his back as she counted his breaths every once in a while. Hugging her knees, resting her head on it, she looked at the way his hair framed his face.

He was indeed beautiful; his features were the perfect combination of sharp and soft which truly made him attractive but he was nothing too irresistible. Definitely not enough to overlook the fact that he was a criminal, dangerous and clearly the kind one should strive to stay from as far as possible - it was hard to believe a little alcohol and hormones in her system had made her lose sight of that. Yet she did and here she was, having to face him once again, adding embarrassment to the mix of all the emotions she was feeling now.  

Sighing, she tried to push her thoughts away and return to the book she was "reading" when she heard him groan softly again as he stretched his limbs, turning his head the other side. Na bi waited for him to go back to sleep but instead, he raised his head, looking out of the window, eyes squinting at the sun. He blinked a few times, registering his surroundings, froze for a couple of seconds and quickly sat up, panicking. Na bi held her breath, watching silently from across the room as he looked around for something before his eyes finally landed on her and what he was searching for.  

His gun…..in her hands.  

She had found it in his pocket last night - his gun, a pack of cigarettes and his lighter. Though a gun was the last thing she wanted in her home, she still had no idea what had transpired in the last 24 hours or what was going on in Changkyun’s head – she had to look out for herself, praying that she didn't have to use it for protection.

Changkyun looked at her through his dark fringes in the loud silence as she waited for him to make a move and he waited for her to do the same.

“Ms. Baek....” He finally took her name softly. “That does not belong in the hands of someone like you.”

Na bi scoffed. “Why? You think just because I am a woman I wouldn’t know how to fire? Or you think I’m a coward so I wouldn’t dare fire?”  

“Neither.” He looked at her calmly yet his gaze was piercing. “I think that it takes lives, and you save them. Like you saved mine.”  

Those were not the words she was expecting.  

“Barely.” She muttered. “What were you thinking, coming here bleeding your guts out like that? You should’ve gone to a hospital-”  

“I thought I was going to die…..” She could barely hear his soft tone before he cleared his throat, wincing as he moved. “……I had to go to someone I trust.”  

Na bi blinked. “You don’t even know me.”  

“Yet it looks like I made the right choice.”

He outstretched his hand, having entirely another conversation with his eyes, silently asking her to return what was his.  Na bi gave it a minute of consideration before she threw the gun to him and he caught it in a flash. 

“And the bullets?" Changkyun held it up in his palm as she blinked at him clearly feigning ignorance. “I can tell by the weight Ms. Baek.”  

The weight of six miniscule bullets?  

She tried not to glance at her kitchen and give away the location she had stashed them away.

“You may trust me, but I have no reason to trust you.”  

 “Fair enough.” He cocked his head at her. “Yet you saved my life.”  

“I’m a doctor. I took an oath to.”  

“Is that all?”

As always, she couldn’t read his expression, but his voice, it was laced with a memory. Na bi suddenly remembered kissing him that night, feeling the heat rise in her face.  

“That’s all.”

He looked at her for longer than a while before humming in response and stashing the gun behind him, into his pant. She watched him as he got off the bed, straightening himself, wincing in the process.  

“What are you doing?”  

“Thank you for saving my life, Ms. Baek. But I should leave-“  

“You can’t.”  

“I can’t?” He raised an eyebrow.  

“I can’t let you.” Changkyun looked genuinely surprised. “Not yet. You haven’t healed enough to be out there on your own.”  

“I’ll manage-“ 

“Changkyun.” She looked at him dead in the eye. “I’m not giving you a choice.”  

Now he looked amused. Rightfully so. Whatever made her think she was capable enough to stop him.

“It took me a while to realise but that wound on your back, it’s not an ordinary one. Whoever stabbed you must’ve lined the blade with some sort of anticoagulant because the wound just would not clot.” Either he didn’t understand what she was saying or his mind had already raced ahead. Either way, he was simply staring off into nowhere. “What I’m saying is, there was only so much I could do in my house. If we can get you to the hospital-“  

“That’s not possible.”  

“That you’ve made clear.” She watched as with each time moved, the crimson on his bandages got darker. “That makes me your only choice so listen to me. You've already lost a lot of blood and you cannot possibly afford to lose more."

He went silent like he was considering it. Na bi didn’t wait for him to come to a decision. She opened the wardrobe, pulling out a set of grey trackpants and a white t-shirt that had always been too large for her and threw it on the bed before him.  

“Wash up. I’ll change the dressing after you’re done.”

He looked at them sceptically.  

“They’re mine.” She clarified before he assumed they were an ex’s or something. “Clothes in the men’s section are cheaper and a better oversize.”  

He reached for them, the edges of his lips curving into a slight smile. “You don't have them in blue for me?”  

Maybe she should just let him die on the streets.  

“Don’t let water fall on the wound.” She muttered below her breath as she walked away, finally taking her eyes off him.  

Maybe Changkyun showering was not the best idea.

Of course, it helped hygiene wise but watching him walk around her house with his wet hair falling into his eyes, dressed so casually was, to accurately put it, painful. If she thought he looked jump-able in that suit with his hair slick back, the way he looked right now was so devastatingly boyfriend, Na bi wanted to scream into a pillow. Of course unlike that night, she wasn't going to stupidly act on it but having to roll kimbap and pretend not to watch him sit at the table, running his fingers through his wet hair was truly a challenge for her self-control. Please stop.  

“I hope you’re okay with kimbap for lunch, it’s kind of the only thing I know how to make.”  

He nodded. “I’m not picky.” 

Silence took over yet again. Na bi forgot just how little this man initiated conversation but she desperately needed it to happen so her mind would stop wandering to terrible, terrible places. 

“What happened after you dropped me home that night?” 

“Why Ms. Baek, do you really not remember?”  

Na bi could hear the smugness in his voice so she refused to look up and meet his eye. This was going to be a constantly recurring topic, wasn’t it?   

“After you left.” She muttered, sharping her knife before cutting up the roll. “Wonho said you didn’t return.” 

“You met Wonho?”  

“He came to the hospital looking for you... or rather looking for me.” Changkyun’s eyebrows knotted in confusion. “I guess because I was the last one to see you before you disappeared?” She added. “And probably because all your men were getting treated there too.” 

Changkyun stared at the knife in her hand. “They were in your hospital?”  

Na bi nodded.   

“Are they....okay?”    

“They were treated on time.” She assured him as she placed the kimbap into a plate. “But they left too soon. Few of them were critical so I don’t know how being out of the hospital is working out for them….”  

Was that worry on his face? Na bi set the plate before him but he simply stared out of the window.  

“Was Wonho hurt?” 

“No.” She sat down across him, pouring herself a glass of orange juice and then for him. “He seemed fine. Just worried about you.”  

Changkyun continued to stay silent but Na bi needed more than that.

“What happened after you left that night?”  

“I was driving back and then I was attacked.” He finally put a piece of the roll in his mouth. Na bi smiled to herself at his full cheeks while he munched on it before quickly realigning herself in the conversation.  

“But you came to me the following night and your wound was quite fresh.”  

“I was attacked but I escaped.” He sighed. “I don’t go alone anywhere Ms. Baek, my men were there that night too, tailing us.” Na bi recalled the black cars she saw in the rear-view mirror. “When I was attacked, my men managed to hold them off while I escaped. I was laying low till it I could figure out how to move again but they found me once more and…” 

He made a weak stabbing motion with his free hand, making her wince at the imagery.

“So whoever has been going around looking for you has finally found you?”

He stuffed his mouth with yet another piece. “Seems like it.”  

“Do you…” Na bi sipped on her drink. “Do you think I ratted you out?” Changkyun raised an eyebrow at her question. “Any sensible person would consider that.” 

He shook his head. “As I said earlier, I trust you.”  

“You continue to make me question your intelligence Changkyun. You have no reason to trust me-" 

"Did you call the cops?” Na bi stared open mouth taken aback by the question. “You knew I’m not a good man. You knew I was in an easy, compromised situation. Yet you saved my life and protected me. So was I wrong to place my trust in you?”  

For that, she didn’t really have any explanation to give him. Or herself for that matter. Why didn’t she call the cops? Why didn’t the thought even cross her logical, reasonable mind?  

“Give my intelligence a little more credit Ms. Baek,” He smirked, enjoying her rare inability to respond, fingers circling the rim of his cup. “Are you forgetting my men had their eyes on you? I would’ve known if it was you.”  

Of course. Now that made sense.  

“Looks like they wouldn’t have to anymore though. Now that my identity is out, you are no longer relevant.”

For the first time in very long, Na bi felt a wave of relief - she was finally out of this mess. “So what are you going to do now? What about-"

“That’s for me to worry.” He downed the last of his juice, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"But-"

"Thank you for lunch Ms. Baek.”  

And with that, Na bi knew the conversation had ended.   

"You did what now?"

Seokmin looked at Na bi with absolute confusion etched all over his face.

"Keep your voice down!" Na bi looked up and down the stairwell of her building where she and Seokmin sat, deep in discussion. After lunch, she had texted him to bring a fresh set of dressing and some pain killers but this time, he refused to do so without receiving an explanation in exchange. So for the last half an hour, she sat with him, going over the events of the last few days of her life, leaving out only Changkyuns name in the process. Somehow, Wonhos warning to never ever take his name was ringing in her head.

"Na bi, this is madness, do you have any idea what you're doing?"

"I know." She sighed. "I know it's madness. I know what I'm doing. I'm just not sure it's the right thing."

Seokmin ran his hands through his hair. "You should've never involved yourself in this mess in the first place."

"It's not like I asked to be kidnapped accidentally-"

"I meant trying to reach out for Ana, going to her house, all of that."

"Seokmin you can't be serious. She was in danger-"

"You barely know her-"

"We barely know any of the people we treat, it doesn't mean we don't?!" She looked at him incredulously. "How was I supposed to sit back and just let someone be in trouble like that?"

"Well, thanks to your greatness, now you're in trouble."

"Not anymore." She mumbled, leaning back against the stairs. "My role's over now. The moment he's out of my house, everything ends - there's nothing left to tie us together."

"Then why is he still in your house?" Na bi stared at her friend wordlessly. "You treated him, he gained consciousness, why aren't you letting him go?.... Are you that attracted to him?"

Na bi rolled her eyes. "How stupid do you think I am Min-ah? Do you realise how shallow I would have to be to put physical attraction towards a person above everything else?"

"Then?"

"I owe him Seokmin. He could have killed me the moment I was picked in place of Ana. He chose to show me mercy that people like him don't necessarily need to have.” She habitually picked the skin around her nail. “I'm just repaying the debt."

"You owed him your life, not loyalty. He saved you, you saved him, now it's even. Why don't you just call the cops and-"

"If I do that and his men find out, they will hunt me down Seokmin." Na bi recollected the fierce devotion Wonho seemed to have for his boss. "Look, he's not a threat to me and I'm going to risk being a threat to him again. I'm just going to change his dressing, observe him tonight and send him on his way tomorrow. I don't plan to lose myself in this plot, I'm not that unreasonable."

Seokmin looked at her like he didn't believe her.

"I swear." She laughed. "After tonight, it's all over."

"For you," Seokmin sighed. "Poor Ana, god knows how she is. I mean, I don’t know her well enough either but I always thought her company was shady."

"Her company?"

"There was a guy who used to visit her in the hospital often. I don't know who he is, just that he always seemed to be dressed in suits? It's unusual for men to wear suits when it's 40 degrees you know? And they always looked so branded and perfectly tailored...."

Seokmin's voice faded away as an image of Changkyun in his suit flashed in her head. Of course it couldn't have been him, he didn't even know Ana. But Ana knew him. Other than Na bi, she was the only one who knew who Changkyun was. If his enemies caught up to him, did that mean they found her?

".... and the children really loved that" Seokmin looked at her. "Are you even listening?"

"I need to go." Na bi took the bag from him, and wrapped him in a quick hug. "Thanks Min-ah, I owe you!" She shouted as she ran up the stairs.

"I wish you would stop owing people for gods sake!" He screamed after her before his voice drowned out.

When she entered her apartment, Changkyun was sitting at the table, flipping through one of her books, lost in the words. He didn't look up even when she walked in, set the bag on the kitchen counter and started to empty it. It was only when she was looking around for the scissors that she realised that the counter was clean and her dishes were washed. Did he....

"It's in the drawer." He finally looked up. "The scissors."

Na bi pulled it open, finally spotting it and grabbing hold. (The bullets she had hidden were still right there, beneath the chopsticks.) Watching him struggle with his shirt, she walked over to help him, but he managed to pull it off. Standing behind him she got to work, slowly removing his current dressing and taking a look at his stiches.

"It looks fine. I think I'll changing the dressing once again tomorrow morning and you should be good to go."

Changkyun nodded and silence took over once again.

"You were right. I did save your life," She felt his eyes flicker towards her over his shoulder. "I’m a doctor and I did my job. But….." She began disinfecting his wound. "I have no reason not to call the cops."

Changkyun remained silent, letting her continue.

"I no longer need you to look out for my safety and I don't really have any reason to protect you so I can just have you arrested." She ripped open a bandage roll, unravelling it. "But I won't. If you do me a favour."

"I didn't realise you and I have come down to making deals with each other Ms. Baek." His voice once again betrayed no emotion, but it was hard. "That our relationship is one of business."

"What other relationship can you and I possibly share?" She questioned, not really sure what she was expecting in response as she tied the cloth around his torso.

After what seemed like an eternity, he finally asked. "What is it that you want?"

"Find Ana." Na bi stepped back, removing her gloves as he turned to face her. "If I'm safe and you're compromised it means whoever is after you managed to get to Ana - she was the only other source to get you. She may not be relevant or important to you but she is to me. So when I let you walk away from here freely, promise me you'll do whatever you can to find her."

"Promises are empty words Ms. Baek."

"Not for me."

He stared at her for longer than a moment before he nodded.

"I will do what I can."

For some reason, she decided to take his word for it.

Na bi handed him a fresh shirt, her father's old button down this time for more ease, grabbing the other one to throw in the wash along with all her sheets that were stained with his blood. When something dropped from the pile, she bent to pick it up, hands reaching for a pack of cigarettes.

"Smoking is injurious to health." She handed it to him, disapproving.

He chuckled. "Trust me, of all the things that's injurious to me, this is the least."

Na bi rolled her eyes. "Just don't smoke when I'm home please." She threw the load in the washer as he walked up to the couch, sinking into it. "I’ll be going out for dinner in a while anyways."

It wasn't like she was expecting him to ask anything further, but when he didn't, she added on her own. "I have to meet a friend, I couldn’t say no but I can order take out for you before I go if you want?"

He hummed, not looking up from his book, yet again lost in the words. Knowing the conversation was over yet again, Na bi resorted to her pending work - throwing on a fresh pair of sheets, changing the towels and drying the finished load in the balcony.

The entire time, Changkyun was fast asleep. He had barely gotten through a page before he passed out on the couch, curling up in its warmth. Na bi might have been busy but she did keep an eye on him. It was only when Mingyu texted her the location of their dinner that she diverted her attention. He had messaged her earlier in the morning too, reminding her of tonight's plan making her contemplate whether or not she should go. She was concerned about leaving Changkyun alone but then again, neither was he a child nor anyone important enough for her to put her personal life on hold. She replied that she was looking forward to seeing him, yet she somehow forgot all about it till a while go.

Dropping on the bed, hair fanning around she googled the location Mingyu sent. It looked classy and high end, enough to make her uneasy. Not that she didn't enjoy an occasional splurge but she wasn't sure if Mingyu and her were close enough yet for this kind of indulgence, it felt more like a 3rd or 4th date kind of place. And more importantly, she wasn't sure anything in her wardrobe would match this ambience. Groaning as she got up, Na bi sat before her cupboard, scouring through her clothes, picking out a few options. Looking over to make sure Changkyun was still asleep, she tried them on one by one, again and again, finally settling for a figure-hugging red dress that stopped mid-thigh. Realising she might run late, she quickly hopped into the shower for a quick wash then dried and styled her hair into a loose bun and even put on a little more makeup than her usual eyeliner and lip tint combination. Slipping on her dress, she struggled with the zip, trying all possible ways to reach for it on her lower back when she felt a presence behind her, slowly zipping her up.

"Dinner with a friend?" Na bi watched Changkyun's eyes trail down her figure then up, meeting her eye in the mirror across, her cheeks reddening under his gaze. So he was listening to her.

It wasn’t like she owed him any answers or explanation but he since he always seemed to answer her questions, she shook her head honestly. "It's a date."

Maybe they looked at each other for too long or maybe the sun was setting really quickly, but soon enough, dark shadows started to blurr everything around. It was only when the doorbell rang that Na bi pulled herself away from him and rushed to the door to collect the take out she had ordered.

"It’s pork cutlets." She placed it on the table before walking around him, avoiding his eye, as she grabbed her purse and threw on a few last-minute accessories for a little gold accent. "Make sure you eat on time and if you don't like it then there's instant ramen in the- ow!"

She rubbed her head where she knocked right into his chest, hurrying about around her house. As she peaked at him through one eye, he moved closer to her, making her eyes blow wide open as she walked back till her knees hit the back of the table, trapping her between it and him. Na bi swallowed on nothing as he bent to meet her at her eye level and with a swift move pulled the pin out of her hair, letting her waves fall loosely. She held her breath as he ran his fingers ran through her hair, draping it over her shoulder.

What was wrong with him? Why was he being so....territorial? Since the last two days, Na bi had constantly been wondering - was it only her who felt this undeniable attraction or did he feel the same way? Sometimes, she felt he couldn't care less, like he didn’t feel an ounce of what she did, but sometimes, like right now, when he looked at her like nothing else existed, she didn’t know anymore. Was he indifferent or was simply displaying extreme self-control, she couldn’t tell.

"Your scar still hasn't healed." He ran his finger over Wonho's little knife wound, before adjusting her hair to cover it. Oh. Was that all?

Apparently it was, because after that he walked around the table and started going through his take out like she didn't even exist anymore. Na bi stared wordlessly. Of course, look at him, hot mafia boss of the underworld - he probably had a whole bunch of a whole lot more attractive women at his beck and call, someone like her would barely matter. Yet the way he kissed her that night felt.....

Shaking the spiralling thoughts off her mind, Na bi put on her heels and grabbed a coat from the stand. It was only when she took a pencil from between her books and twisted her hair back into a bun that he finally looked at her again. Not giving him anymore attention, she took one last look at herself in the mirror and stepped out of her house, determined to make her way to the man waiting for her downtown - A man she had no doubt was truly attracted to her.

"I've never had this wine before but it tastes so familiar."

"Do you like it?"

Na bi nodded taking a sip but immediately shook her head when Mingyu offered to pour her another glass.

"I have to go to work tomorrow and more importantly, the board is gathering to take disciplinary action against me. I can't show up hungover."

Mingyu looked at her concerned, setting the bottle down. "I'm so sorry. You don't deserve that."

She truly didn't. From what she heard from Seokmin, she was most likely going to face a two- or three-week suspension for her "inadequate handling of the emergency room" yesterday. Bullshit. The attending was simply taking out her anger over Na bi's unprompted takeover of the emergency room when her incompetent son froze in the face of responsibility. Now using the excuse of Changkyun’s men's escape, she was trying to settle score in her own twisted way.

"Did you not go to work today though?" Mingyu looked at her over his glass. "I picked this place cause it was close to your hospital. I was going to offer to walk you from there."

"Oh." Na bi's mind ran through the list of all possible excuses, picking the worst one possible. "Yeah, I called in sick, terrible case of food poisoning, diarrhea and all."

Way to go Na bi, she chided herself. She was capable of a lot of things but telling a decent lie was just not one of them.

Mingyus face scrunched in worry. "Oh, maybe we should have pushed dinner to another day, I can cancel the seafood-"

"Relax" She patted his arm. "I feel fine now, your date is quite the tough girl."

The moment the words left her mouth, she pursed her lips, putting her glass down. Enough Na bi. She couldn't make a fool of herself yet again. That was the reason when the waiter brought wine to the table, Na bi immediately refused. Mingyu insisted, saying he had asked for this bottle in particular because he heard good things about it and convinced her to try a glass, which then turned into two and here she was, sprouting nonsense as usual. Mingyu though looked rather pleased with her words and surely had something to say in return when his phone started ringing. He cut the call.

"That's the third call you're declining." Na bi observed. "Are you sure it's okay?"

"It's just work." He murmured.

"Aren't your work hours for the day over?"

"Is a cop ever really off duty?" He chuckled, unlocking his phone to drop a quick text. Na bi reminded herself for the tenth time that night that she was sitting right across a member of law enforcement while a criminal munched on pork cutlets in her house. Why again did she think this dinner was a good idea?

"Do you enjoy your work?"

He nodded. "I won't lie, there are days where it gets overwhelming but end of the day, there's something satisfying about saving lives. You should know."

"I wouldn't. I save humans, not cats stuck on trees." She joked and Mingyu laughed.

"I could have you arrested for that Doctor."

"I dare you Officer." She grinned, downing the last of her wine. "Indulge me, what's the most interesting case you've seen in your career?"

"That's what you want to talk about on this, as you called it, date?"

"Would you rather exchange favourite colours and songs?"

He laughed shaking his head before slipping into thought. "I guess, the diamond robbery two years ago? Me and my buddy were the ones who caught the thief in the end. I got shot on the job too." He pointed at his shoulder. "What's your crazy work story?"

"Last year I pulled a 48 hour shift in the ER because of a terrible accident where two buses crashed into each other. The rains those days were so terrible, all 80 patients were taken to the closet hospital which happened to be ours and along with about 20 nurses, I was the only doctor on call." She took a bite of her pasta. "We saved 78 of them."

"Wow." Mingyu breathed impressed. "That must've been intense. I remember those rains last year, they were truly a hazard." He ran his fingers through his hair. "I was a part of the rescue operation for a building that collapsed. Pulled a three-day shift if I remember right."

"Wait, I was there too." Na bi added, surprised. "I wasn't really helpful though - my colleague and I were trying to get someone out from the rubble when someone moved the foundation and we ended up trapped inside for almost 2 days. I, unfortunately, needed to be admitted in the ER after that." She laughed.

Mingyu gaped at her, raising his hands in defeat. "Okay doctor, you win the crazy work story competition." He poured himself and her another glass. "I, unfortunately, am not one of the cool TV show cops with tons of stories to tell."

"Me neither." Na bi laughed. "That's pretty much all I have too. Maybe now we both can add '40 gangsters walking into the ER in broad daylight' to the list."

"I still can't believe that happened." He chewed on his food slowly. "Gang fights in Seoul, its like the 2000s again. My superiors at work talk about those times a lot - they were part of the 2011 WipeOut, and man, quite the story that is."

Na bi propped her head on her interlocked hands, ears perking for this conversation. Mingyu laughed at her curiosity.

"I don't know much details, just that back in the day, Seoul was drowning in crime - drugs, trafficking, money laundering, extortion, you name it. Mafia from Hong Kong and Japan have been here for decades, simply lurking around without much influence but these guys? They were locals, men who built and climbed their way into power so silently that by the time they were on top, they were pretty unstoppable. They were 3 of them - kingpin, the boss, the blackjack, the underboss and bigbucks, the consigliere. Together they quite literally showed the police force of this city what hell would look like on Earth." Seeing how she was ignoring her meal, Mingyu nudged her to take a bite before he continued. "It took a five year long undercover operation to finally get them. The crime branch slowly infiltrated the mafia and then in 2011, there was a big bust where many of them were thrown behind bars and the mafia was finally wiped out for good."

"Was it?" Na bi avoided meeting his eye as she focused on poking her salad. "Do you think the mafia no longer exists in Seoul?"

Mingyu looked at her like she said something ridiculous. "Of course it doesn't! I wouldn't say the city is entirely crime free, I mean you saw what happened just yesterday, but they are all just small-time criminals. I know for a fact that the mafia as an organisation no longer exists in Seoul. It can't."

If only he knew.

Na bi chewed on her food for long after that to avoid talking. Changkyun was right when he said nobody knew of him; evidently even the cops were clueless of his existence. Now someone had entered his playing field, pulled him out of his rat hole and was wreaking havoc out in the open already. Who could it possibly be?

The rest of the dinner was filled with casual conversation and laughter. Mingyu was a sweet guy - he was built like a Greek god, he made good conversation and was surprisingly witty and funny too, nothing short of perfect. Maybe on another day, Na bi would have taken more initiative but today unfortunately and to her own annoyance, Chankgyun was all that was on her mind, so the moment desert was done, she asked for the bill. Despite her refusal, Mingyu offered to drop her home insisting it was late and when Na bi got up from the table and felt her head spin a little, she took him up on that. She should have stopped with that second glass of wine.

During the drive, Mingyu sweetly let her play her playlist, genuinely enjoying her choice of songs and singing along rather loudly. Thank god for him, or given how both the wine and almost 2 days of lack of sleep was weighing down on her, she was sure to have passed out in his car. When they reached her building, he got off first, walking over to open the door for her and as Na bi stepped out, she looked up at her apartment, breath hitching in her throat.

The lights were off.

Reading her face Mingyu followed her line of vision asking if everything was okay and she shook it off saying it was. Had Changkyun left? His wound wasn't as severe and it wasn't like he would be helpless without her but something about him disappearing in her absence made her uneasy.

"Are you sure?" Mingyu asked again frowning, seeing her lost in thought.

She nodded. "Thank you for dinner today, I really had a good time." She walked a step back, watching Mingyu frozen on the spot and realised he was probably hoping she would invite him up but Na bi really could not bring herself to. Not tonight, not after the last few days she had, and not with both wine and a strange disappointment coursing through her system.

"I would invite you up but uh.....I think the.... diarrhea is kicking in again, it wouldn't be right-"

"Anyone ever tell you that you're a horrible liar doctor?" Mingyu laughed. "It's alright, I get it. It's okay if you're not interested-“

"I am." Na bi walked back to him, placing a soft peck on his cheek. "I do like you. I do want to do this again, and more. Just not tonight, I'm sorry."

"Don't apologise." He tucked the strands that were escaping her bun. "You shouldn't."

Putting aside everything in the world that seemed like a problem right now, Na bi pulled him by his dinner jacket, tiptoeing against his figure and kissed him. Mingyu froze, just for a second before his hands found her waist and kissed her back with a hint of desperation that reminded her of that night in the bar. Under the moonlight, on a quiet street, kissing a man who was enamoured by her, Na bi knew she should be savouring the moment a lot more but to her own dismay, she couldn't.

"Goodnight officer." She whispered against his mouth, walking back towards her building, taking one last look at his giddy smile.

"Goodnight doctor."

When she opened the door to her house, every other emotion she felt tonight dissipated. She was met with the silent darkness that she was used to coming home to but didn't expect to return to tonight. Sighing, she put her purse and coat on the table with and kicked off her heels before walking into her house, turning on the night lights. Dragging herself in, she threw herself into the freshly made bed before frowning and looking around.

Did he....

Na bi wasn't really a very messy person but earlier tonight she didn't have the time to reorganise everything, nor did she have the desire to hang out any longer around the very confusing energy she was getting from Changkyun. She had left the house rather annoyed that she would have to come back to a mess but now that she looked around, her clothes, her make up, her shoes, everything was back in its place and there was only one person who could have done it. Na bi scoffed not knowing what exactly to feel about this man - he seemed considerate enough to clean up after her but at the same didn't care enough to let her know before he disappeared. Half burying her face into the sheets, she let her eyes shut, recalling what he looked like right before she left. That was the last time she saw him. That was the last time she will ever see him.

Or maybe not.

Na bi wasn't really sure how long she was asleep but the touch of something soft on her face suddenly woke her up. Half confused, half terrified, her eyes fluttered open, catching sight of Changkyun's face hovering over hers, making her bite back a scream.

"You.." She scrambled in her sheets, sitting up. "You didn't leave?"

He looked perplexed. "Didn’t you ask me not to?"

Na bi swallowed the phantom lump in her throat looking around. How did she miss him? "The lights were off, you weren't here when I came back..."

"I prefer the dark." He confessed moving away as she got to her feet. "I was out in the balcony, getting some air when I heard you come back."

Na bi walked over and peered out of the glass of her balcony doors, looking at the buildings across. "You shouldn't have, you could have been seen...." She trailed off staring at the road realising that if Changkyun was standing here, he probably saw her and Mingyu…… But, did it matter if he did?

"You didn't remove your make up." He walked up to her and held out the wipe in his hand. "I thought I could..."

Muttering a thanks, Na bi took it from him, fidgeting with it in her hand, letting the loud silence take over as she wiped her off makeup slowly. Why was there suddenly a strange tension lingering in the air? It felt like that night again she confessed she was attracted to him - the hesitation to see who would make the first move, the uncertainty about anything even happening, everything felt so familiar. When Na bi turned to casually glance at Changkyun, he was already looking at her.

"You have..." His hand cupped her cheek, thumb brushing against her lower lip, removing the last traces of her gloss. Na bi held her breath, eyes searching his for a clear answer once again. She still couldn't find a no.

When his hand wouldn't part from her, her body leaned in, lips reaching for his when he tilted her face up, frowning.

"Ms. Baek, did you drink?"

"Just a little wine." She confessed, reaching for him again, only to meet with resistance.

"Then maybe you shouldn't-"

"You're not even a little bit attracted to me are you?" Na bi pulled herself away from him, giving herself some much-needed space. What was wrong with her, why couldn't she see? He didn’t ever initiate anything and every time she did, he only stopped her. What else did she need to hear to get it into her thick skull - he was not interested. "I'm sorry, I should just-"

"You think I'm not attracted to you?" Changkyun took a step towards her, making her take one back. "I might have zipped you up in that dress but the moment I saw you in it, I wanted nothing more than to rip it off you."

Na bi’s eyes widened. What? 

"When you said my name for the first time, I wanted nothing more than to make you say it over and over and over again."

Her back hit the wall behind her as he caged her between his arms, hands pressed into the concrete by her side.

"Every time I see you it takes every nerve in my being to stop myself from......" He licked his lips eyes flickering down to hers. "From doing this, you have no fucking idea."

"Why do you stop yourself?" She whispered. Did this mean he too wanted…..

"Because you deserve better Ms. Baek." He let his hands fall to his side. "I'm not a good man-"

Na bi rolled her eyes. How chivalrous. "Yeah well, who's trying to marry you and have your kids?" Grabbing a fistful of his shirt, she pulled him closer to her. "I don't care about anything else as long as you don't rip the dress." She bit her lip, drawing his eyes to it again. "I like this one."

Changkyun cocked his head at her and for the first time, she could read him clear as day - he was giving her one last chance to back out. She tightened her grip on the fabric, reiterating that she didn’t want to. Go ahead.

Hands on her waist he spun her around, pressing her against the wall, fingers caressing the bare skin of her back as he unzipped her antagonisingly slow, mouth at the shell of her ear. "Please don't fall in love with me Ms. Baek."

Feeling him move away from her Na bi turned to see him stepping back, watching her. Slipping the fabric off her shoulders, she let the dress pool at her feet, before kicking it away. All she was left in was the black lingerie she had worn - quite frankly it was one of the simpler ones she owned but something hungrily darkened in Changkyun's eyes at the sight of it. Smiling to herself she walked up to him and worked the buttons of his shirt as he captured her lips in his once again, a lot more aggressive this time, making her legs literally go weak. As she stripped the shirt off his body, she felt his hand slip past the hem of her panties, down between her legs, fingers easily sliding between the wetness of her folds, making her moan softly into his mouth.

"Sweetheart, you're soaked." He smiled at the effect he seemed to have on her. "Do you want me that bad?"

Na bi looked at him with pupils practically blown in lust, and pulled on the drawstring of his pajamas, letting a finger run down over the tent in his pants, earning a satisfactory, low growl in return.

"I do." She answered honestly, sliding her hand into his pants, wrapping it around his hard length. "And looks like you do too."

Tugging her hand off him, Changkyun dragged her as he sank into the couch behind him, pulling her onto his lap. It was only when he winced in pain when she straddled him that Na bi realised-

"Changkyun your stitches," His mouth latched onto her neck, littering with kisses and bites. "We shouldn't-"

"Doesn't matter."

He unclasped her bra, sliding it off her, sending it somewhere across the room before he took her nipple in his mouth in a way that made her see stars.

"But...." She tried moving away when his tongue ran across her skin, making her melt back into him. "But if they rip.... I'll have to suture you again-."

"Then do it."

Mouth not leaving her breast, he guided her hips against his length, a loud moan escaping her.

"We've run out of anaesthetic, without it it’ll hurt like hell-"

"Then let it."

A shiver ran down her spine as he slid his hand between their bodies, slipping two fingers inside her, opening her up for him.

"Changkyun please," Her nails dug into his bicep as she felt that delicious stretch. "We can't.... we shouldn't-"

He let her go, pushing his fingers into her mouth instead, making her taste herself, he leaned in. "Ride me." He whispered, and that was all it took for Na bi's resolve to break.

Pushing aside her panties as he pulled himself out of his pants, she let him in, slowly sinking down on his length, finally claiming him for herself. She knew she wasn't prepped enough but she didn't expect to feel this full of him as she stilled, lips parting wordlessly.

"Fuck if this isn't so worth it." His wet fingers trailed down her neck, between her breasts, hands grabbing her hips once again and pushing her further down, making her whimper against him. Oh lord.

"Sweetheart-" Changkyun groaned as she clenched around him. "You need to move. I might just..."

Head thrown back, holding onto his shoulders to support herself, Na bi slowly let herself move up and down his length, the feeling easing in as she found a rhythm. All that mattered was him in her, his hands on her, his mouth exploring every inch, as she buried him in herself again and again and again-

"Look at you taking me so well." He grabbed her face, forcing her to meet his eye as she threaded her fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck. "It's like you were made for me."

Na bi nodded in agreement as she felt the knot inside her starting to tighten and the strength of her legs weaken.

"Changkyun please.." She begged and he immediately complied, wrapping his arms around her waist, holding her against him as he snapped his hips up, fastening the pace.

"You're not going to come till I do are you sweetheart?" Na bi shook her head, knowing it was more of a warning than a question. "Good girl." He whispered against her ear, earning an absolutely unholy moan as he hit all the right spots.

"Please, please, please-" She whimpered no longer able hold herself back. "Please let me come."

"You're doing so well sweetheart, just a little longer." He promised. "Where do you want me to-"

"Inside." She moaned, mouth practically watering at the thought of him emptying himself in her, filling her up. Pressing her forehead against his, Na bi looked into his eyes, getting lost in them as he fucked her into oblivion. His words from earlier rang in her head - Please don't fall in love with me Ms. Baek.

She shut her eyes trying to shut him out. She won't. She couldn't possibly.....

And when she opened her eyes again, she was greeted by the stars stuck on her ceiling and a strange unfulfilled emptiness between her legs.

She was still in her bed, fully dressed, not having moved even an inch since she threw herself onto it.

Was that all....  a dream?

As detailed images of her imagination flashed in her head Na bi groaned into her bed, curling up in shame. Of course none of that was real; just how desperate did she have to be for her subconscious to conjure something like that? How was she ever going to face him again? Not that she would ever have to, now that he was gone-

"Ms. Baek?"

Na bi immediately sat up at the sound of his voice, eyes falling on him standing by her kitchen in the dim light of her house. No, no, not another one. She pinched her arm to give herself a reality check, wincing in pain when it hurt. So he really was here?

"You- you were here all along?" She tried not to look at him as she slid off her bed.

"I was in the shower."

"Ah." Na bi finally pieced it all together - the lights, his absence. "I didn't see you when I got back.... I... uh thought you left."

"Didn't you ask me not to?"

Na bi froze at his choice of words, an echo of her imagination. God please don't let this be a dream, she couldn't possibly survive another one.

"But I'm going to have to leave now." He continued, getting her attention again. "My men have a lead on Ana."

"They found her?"

"Not yet, but they are closing in on her location." He tucked his hands into his pockets. "So I should go. I promised someone that I'd do what I can to find her."

Na bi blinked at him confused till she realised he was talking about her. Oh.

"I didn't want to leave without letting you know so I was waiting for you to wake up."

Na bi felt her heart race in her chest. Please don't fall in love with me Ms. Baek.

Thinking reasonably, she grabbed a paper, the pencil from her bun, and scribbled the names of a few medicines before handing it to him. "These should help with any pain."

He stared at her for just a bit before stashing it away in his pocket with a nod, walking to the door and turning as though to let her see him one last time.

Will I ever see you again?

She let the question remain unasked, lost in the silence between them. Now that they had nothing to do with each other anymore, Na bi wondered if they would run into each other for the third time - maybe then she'll finally have to start believing in fate.

And as fate had it, just over 10 days later, Na bi found herself frantically running down a street and just as she reached the corner, a black van pulled up next to her, history repeating itself as she was shoved into the darkness. 

Next chapter

[tacagen]

rating thawne's deaths on a 10 point scale

snapped neck: 6/10. ok. not good, not bad, well-deserved, timeless, impactful. i love the way thawne is still complaining about that one though.

flashpoint: 9/10. imagine becoming a living paradox and proceeding to rant about how your speedster nemesis cant hurt you now (very normal way to put it btw.) only to be pierced by a fucking sword. dumb and classic, all good here.

the button: 100/10 THE DUMBEST DEATH OF THEM ALL AND MY ALL TIME FAVORITE. also a classic, imagine being told multiple times that youre going to die and fucking carry on like youre the Smartest here and nothing could ever happen to you and actually ima adopt you barry. thawne's character at its finest.

running scared: 8/10. not bad. ironic last words and 'on my life i swear' about the promise he intended to break all along. once again, dead because he couldnt shut the fuck up and look around him. iris, my beautiful tired of thawne's shit queen, I STAN.

the flash cw season 1: 5/10. dont remember it much asides from being totally pointless as it has 0 effect on thawne's existence further and our beloved Genius of Time Travel, who can Calculate Every Single Timeline Consequence To His Actions revealing his fucking name to his ancestor and bullying him into murder by suicide.

legends of tomorrow season 2: 10/10. love this one. top 10 reverse-flash moments. my dude got together like 15 other versions of himself for each to do practically fucking nothing other than to group pose and die. an honorable mention: poor black flash who got called a monster just for trying to do his timeline protection job and who endured all of thawne's shit only for it to turn out completely pointless as well. then again if you think about it, everything that happens in cw is pointless.

the flash cw season 6: 2/10. does that even count as a death. makes zero fucking sense. 2 points only for thawne being a total loser and resembling negaduck's 'crisis on infinite darkwings' death.

suicude squad: hell to pay: 10/10. i gave this 10 points already just for his last words 'fuck my life'. again, DOESNT KNOW HOW TO SHUT THE FUCK UP WHICH GETS HIM KILLED. thawne believing in the afterlife in the first place feels out of character to me though.

finish line: 0/10. it was very hard to waste a character like that without even realizing it AFTER WRITING HIM WITH SUCH A DEEP UNDERSTANDING BEFORE but you've done it, williamson ⭐

legends of tomorrow season 7: 7/10. very balanced death, little bit of thawne having zero fucking braincells, little bit of meaning. not even complaining about the concept, silly little domesticated rat doing his silly little job of preserving the timeline. i approve.

jurassic league: 10/10. first i suggest we just stop and think for a moment about the fact that we got a DINOSAUR THAWNE in a list of deaths. second THIS PREHISTORIC DUMPLING GOT FUCKING EATEN. third insert an extinction pun. perfect understanding of thawne being a fucking joke of a character and meme potential.

flashpoint beyond: 12/10. did NOTHING in the plot. meant NOTHING for the plot. just spawned as a corpse and looked pretty in the morgue (10 points already purely for The Page) and i respect that. 1 more point for the button encore and another to martha wayne. thank you for your service queen, we'll never forget your impact on this one.

knight terrors: the flash: 8/10. this mf lasted exactly 3 pages. neat but a bit sad if you think about it. not only got killed unprovokedly but his precious museum he just tried to protect got damaged as well. didnt even get to finish neither the tour or his point about barry not being able to wake up (again, only tried to help in a way by that?). also i like the way he's once again a creation of barry's subconsciousness acting suspiciously fruity.

[liketwoswansinbalance]

MASTERPOST for The One True School Master of Vault 41

This is a continually updating table of contents to help with navigating my posts about TOTSMOV41, my WIP longfic.

The fic's premise: Sophie joins forces with a resurrected, former lover in the midst of trying to get Tedros back onto Camelot's throne, but that's not even half the uphill battle: rogue psyches and distrust abound and threaten to shatter the present state of the Woods as everyone knows it.

or

In which Rafal is resurrected during the events of One True King and things go horribly, disproportionately wrong!

Also, the fic will not be published for a very long time, so don't expect to see it anytime soon. I'm still on draft zero/the outline/script.

⸻

—Table of Contents—[Pre-Publication of Fic]

1. Title reveal and associated music

2. Round I of Excerpts

3. Apparently, the tag "otk" is banned from tumblr.

4. The misleading trope hint

5. Round II Excerpt

6. Visual ref. 1

7. Facts about the fic

8. Reblog #1

9. Aesthetic for one of the first scenes (and flower trivia in the comments)

10. A Peek at My Outline Process

11. Reblog #2, dialogue, and reference to suicide

12. Round III of Excerpts

13. Sketch - Rafal got punched in the face.

14. Screenshots of my Pinterest board for the fic

15. Update, more facts about the fic, and its references to philosophic concepts

16. Round IV Excerpt

17. Cover Reveal

18. Reblog #3

19. Reblog #4

20. Reblog #5

21. Hypothetical Non-Excerpt

22. The Recurring Japeth Punchline

23. Reblog #6

24. Reblog #7

25. Three "Fun" (Incongruous) Facts

26. Thanatos drive reference mentioned

27. Reblog #8

28. Reblog #9

29. Reblog #10

30. Ask containing minor fic trivia

31. Update and Round V of Excerpts

32. Which wizard is this? (a.k.a. The Tedros Insanity Poll)

33. Reblog #11

34. Reblog #12

35. Reblog #13 and Fic Tags

36. Round VI Excerpt

37. The Suffering Scale

38. Word Ask Game

39. Word Ask #1

40. Word Ask #2

41. Word Ask #3

42. Results of the Tedros Poll

43. Round VII of Excerpts

44. Guess the Last Verb/Noun

45. Minor Spoilers

46. Reblog #14

47. Reblog #15

48. Reblog #16

49. Visual ref. 2

50. Reblog #17

51. Slightly Cursed Thought?

52. Aesthetic

53. Round VIII of Excerpts

54. Scrapped Hypothetical Scene

55. Reblog #18

56. Visual ref. 3

57. Reblog #19

58. Reblog #20

59. Deliberate or Not Deliberate?

60. Update and Another Ask Game

61. Page Number Ask #1

62. Page Number Ask #2

63. Visual ref. 4

64. Visual ref. 5

65. Reblog #21

66. Reblog #22

67. Reblog #23

68. Reblog #24

69. Reblog #25

70. Verbing Nouns

71. Reblog #26

72. Reblog #27

73. A Little News

74. TLEA Evidence for One of My Theories

75. Reblog #28

76. Reblog #29

77. Trick-or-Treat Ask Excerpt

—The Story— [Links TBA after publication.]

Part I: Of Solipsism, Sophistry, and Storians.

Part II: Great Mistake II, Great Mistake III, and Verisimilitude

Part III: Phantoms, Prescience, and the Pen

Deleted Scene

Meta post

Fic Analysis, Commentary & Trivia

Propaganda

⸻

Need-to-Knows (a.k.a How I'm meddling with canon):

This fic will involve Rafal being resurrected, and lead up to an alternate continuity of plot events, all set during One True King. Thus, its title will be: The One True School Master of Vault 41. However, the title may or may not be a bit of a misnomer, so I might just end up subverting your expectations after all.

There will be a form of "psyche travel," or an approximation of time travel, using Dovey's crystal ball like in ACOT, the arson of a certain Wizard Tree to look forward to, and some offbeat, unprecedented action taken by the Storian. Of course, Agatha and Rafal will bicker a lot while Sophie plays the role of mediator. And, oh, Rafal will be tortured, slightly…

Additionally, there's a couple things to note about the premise and the changes I've made to canon, for context:

1. The fic will disregard Fall as canon, yet will acknowledge Rise.

2. There are several canon elements I'm not using. The Rafal is the fic is him from Rise, and also from TLEA. I decided to only acknowledge Rise but not Fall because I didn't want to work with the identity-swap twist. So Rafal is Rafal is Rafal in this case. I will draw from both his Rise characterization and his TLEA characterization.

3. Later in the fic, Rise Rhian only has minor appearances, and is present in Rafal's psyche, but he will not actually be a character until I write a possible sequel, if I ever do reach that point. So, you can assume Rhian was moderately Good to grey on the morality scale, and that Rafal was the one who ultimately committed the fratricide for the purposes of this fic.

4. I've decided not to acknowledge the OTK parentage twist. To clarify, Rafal will have no relation to Japeth, simply because it felt out of character for him to have children with a woman he seemed to loathe, even if it may have been less out of character for the canon Rhian falsely disguised as "Rafal." I personally thought it contradicted Rafal's characterization, so Japeth's placeholder father, who probably won't even be mentioned in the story, will be the Green Knight, to explain his magical prowess as the Snake.

Otherwise, for the most part, this fic is alternate continuity "canon," and diverges at some point during OTK.

I've tried to set the stage, eradicate confusion, and mediate potential disappointment as best as I could above, but if anyone would like me to demystify anything about the fic, my writing process, or ask anything else at all, feel free to send questions to me! Yet, I might not be able to answer everything, for various reasons, including limiting excessive spoilers, so please keep that in mind.

[okaystoptellingmetomakeanaccount]

Top 10 Diamond Dick comics?

1. Old Castle’s Secret. This is the only one where we see Dick’s handsomeness physically, which makes it instantly the best Dick story.

2. Only A Poor Old Man. Listen to em brag

3. Il doppio segreto di Macchia Nera. A very good spy thriller that just gets a little bit taken down by the appearance of Eega Beeva at the end.

4. Dick’s revenge. This story was never published, but Barks’ original concepts were found and his ideas to bring back the Dick and go deeper into his backstory were shown te be really profound. It’s only lower because it doesn’t exist.

5. The Midas Touch. The events of this story were actually set up by Diamond Dick as shown in the later story “Origins of a Witch”. Little things like Scrooge giving his dime to Magica so spontaneously were caused by Dick’s smart plan to put an antidose for the memory bettermaker into his cuppa coffee while being invisible. The entire story shows a very fun and smart and mischievous side to our Dick.

6. The Snowmen Robbers. Taking from the two Doctor Who serials: “The abominable Snowmen” and “The Snowmen”, known fan of referencing things Lars Jensen puts a spin on it by having Diamond Dick be the Snowmen in this recent story. Having cloned himself to be many, and also better invisible so his shadow even cannot be seen, he controls multiple Snowmen to rob the money bin. A great and creative story.

7. Amazing Fantasy #15. In this story we see a different side of Diamond Dick, where he takes a more heroic role and saves people. Being explained by taking place before the traumatic experiences in the last great time war that he had to undergo, this closer to his teenager years Dick is quite the amicable person. Great at showing a different side of our favorite comic book character, who has many layers.

8. Invisible Man. Writer Ralph Ellison takes a deep political intrigue into many facets of Dick’s life and the environment in which he lives. Showing real world dark sides to American society and its relations to racism. A very new and interesting take on Diamond Dick.

9. The Book Of The War. Being a documentation of the war times of Dick’s life, it shows a really profound, deep and profound look at the character’s life, showing him to be more than a one dimensional villain. It’s a really profound book, told in a non-lineair order to reflect Dick’s struggles to keep being himself. It’s the story where we’re shown how he meets the scientist from whom he will steal the potion with which he becomes the character we know today, and him getting so lost that he doesn’t know himself, and such decides to not become anymore and be invisible instead. The way it draws parallels with H. G. Wells’ “The time machine” are also marvelous. Furthermore, is it in general an excellent read that, even if it goes on detours to explore other characters that have been involved in Dick’s wartime-life, is still very much worth reading for its profound looks at these characters. A very deep and profound book.

10. Batman The Animated series: See no evil. This episode contains many sneaky references to show that the titular evil that shall not be seen, isn’t the only ‘invisible man’ in the story. Hints like the code 32194718902 which is shown on the floor barely readable in an alley scene. This being an obvious reference to the page count, creation year, and code of our number one greatest Dick story of all time, Old Castle’s Secret (The). Or, one of the places the characters vist being Edinburgh, which is a reference to Prince Edward, Duke of Edinburgh, who shares a name with the French version of Sir Swamphole McDuck, whose armor first appeard in Old Castle’s Secret. (The). Pretty Leip, if you ask me. The scheme Dick concours up is amazingly deep and profound, and shows another look at him. The reveal that this takes place during his time in the war makes it even better, and explains how he even managed to turn up in Batman The Animated Series.

And now for some honorable mentions:

Uncle Scrooge And The Infinity Dime. The story of the ¢entury.

I hope you enjoyed my top 10 list. If you want more, you can give me money. This won’t do anything, but would make me richer, like Diamond Dick, *wink*.

[vulturejuice]

[Image ID: A 13-panel comic which depicts two furry characters, a cougar and a stoat, in an argument about political lesbianism. It is coloured in the palette of the lesbian flag, with the cougar in pink colours and the stoat in orange colours. End ID]

This is a comic I made last December as a final project for a Communication and Sexuality class! It was super fun to get to use my OCs for a school project and the research for it was super interesting and meaningful to me as a lesbian myself.

A full transcript of the comic, as well as a list of citations, is available below the cut!

Transcript and image descriptions:

Panel 1: The cougar sits in a chair reading a book.

Panel 2: The cougar turns a page and the stoat enters the frame without the cougar noticing.

Panel 3: The stoat speaks very close to the cougar’s face, startling her. Stoat: “Whatcha readin’?” Cougar: GAH!

Panel 4: The cougar holds the book up to the camera, revealing the phrase “POLITICAL LESBIANISM” on its cover. The stoat looks at it with her hand on her chin. Cougar: Oh... I was just reading this book about POLITICAL LESBIANISM Stoat: Oh hm

Panel 5: The cougar reads from a stack of papers. The stoat puts her hand to her cheek and closes her eyes. A thought bubble comes from the stoat which depicts women standing in a circle holding hands while two men look on angrily. Stoat: That’s that thing from like the 80s, right? Where feminists thought all women should be lesbians? Cougar: Yeah, the Leeds Revolutionary Feminists put out a paper detailing as much in 1979. 

Panel 6: The cougar shrugs, holding the papers out towards the stoat. The stoat grabs for them excitedly. Cougar: Basically, anyone who associated with men was the enemy! Stoat: Hey, sounds good to me! Who needs ‘em, right?

Panel 7: The cougar puts her hands on her hips and glares at the stoat. The stoat holds the papers and frowns. Cougar: Oh, come on! Gender essentialist much? Not to mention their focus on the penis as a tool of oppression... Where does that leave pre- and non-op trans women?

Panel 8: The stoat’s eyes widen and she points at the paper. The cougar throws up one hand in exasperation. Stoat: Wait! It says here that a political lesbian is a “woman-identified woman.” Shouldn’t that include trans women? Cougar: Not what that means!

Panel 9: The cougar turns to the camera and raises her finger in the air. She pulls a new stack of papers up from outside the panel. The stoat looks between the papers she is holding and the new papers in confusion. Cougar: In their 1970 manifesto, the Radicalesbians ask that women craft our own identities by relating to each other, not men’s ideas of what we should be. They’re not really talking about gender identity the way we do today.

Panel 10: The stoat puts her hands on her hips and throws her head back, holding her papers to her side. The cougar puts out her hands in protest, and the papers she’s holding fall. Stoat: Right. I guess you think everyone was transphobic back then. Cougar: Hey, I never said that!

Panel 11: The cougar lifts up a small record and smiles down at it. The stoat glares at it as she tucks her papers under her arm. Cougar: Take the radical feminist lesbian separatist music collective, Olivia Records! They supported and even bodily defended their trans sound engineer, Sandy Stone, when her role at the collective was questioned and she was threatened with transphobic violence.

Panel 12: The stoat crosses her arms and tries to interject. The cougar keeps talking as she throws the record away behind herself. Stoat: Sure, but- Cougar: No, it’s so-called gender critical feminists who spit in the face of trans women’s contributions to our rich lesbian history. Our love of women and rejection of prescribed sex roles is what brings us together - not out hatred of men!

Panel 13: The stoat turns away from the cougar in anger. The cougar smiles and puts a hand on the stoat’s corner. Stoat: Oh, whatever! I don’t want to talk about it anymore if you’re just going to tell me I’m wrong all the time. Cougar: Look at it this way... we’re just taking part in the storied lesbian tradition of pointless arguing!

Citations

Ahmed, S. (2016). An affinity of hammers. TSQ: Transgender Studies Quarterly, 3(1-2), 22-34. https://doi.org/10.1215/23289252-3334151   

Enszer, J. R. (2016). “How to stop choking to death”: Rethinking lesbian separatism as a vibrant political theory and feminist practice. Journal of Lesbian Studies, 20(2), 180-196. https://doi.org/10.1080/10894160.2015.1083815   

Love your enemy? The debate between heterosexual feminism and political lesbianism. (1981). Onlywomen Press.

O’Donnell, K. (2019). The theological basis for trans-exclusionary radical feminist positions. In N. Banerjea, K. Browne, E. Ferreira, M. Olasik, & J. Podmore (Eds.), Lesbian feminism: Essays opposing global heteropatriarchies. Bloomsbury Academic & Professional.

Thurlow, C. (2022). From TERF to gender critical: A telling genealogy? Sexualities. Advance online publication. https://doi.org/10.1177/13634607221107827   

Weiss, P. A. (Ed.). (2018). Feminist manifestos: A global documentary reader. New York University Press.

Williams, C. (2016). Radical inclusion: Recounting the trans inclusive history of radical feminism. TSQ: Transgender Studies Quarterly, 3(1-2), 254-258. https://doi.org/10.1215/23289252-3334463