#Not only am I incredibly picky about my historical media when it comes to the Middle Ages (less so for the 20th century)

[the-busy-ghost]

There are many reasons my interests are more geared towards mediaeval Scotland than mediaeval England, but at least one of them has to be the fact that I am completely incapable of Being Normal about the Lion in Winter and Shakespeare's second tetralogy.

[hashtagtransanthology-blog]

Contributor Interview: Gabriel D. Vidrine

Next up: Gabriel talks about their essay on The Crow, YA novels, and what they watch on Netflix on Friday nights. 

1. Tell us a bit about yourself and what you generally write.

First and foremost, I am a scientist, but I’ve wanted to be a writer for as long as I can remember. I wrote my first full-length novel at 16 (it was terrible, don’t ask, but it was cyberpunk). I entered short story contests before then, as well, but didn’t win. I never thought I’d be any good at it, or be able to make a living off of it. So scientist it was. I write what I like to read. I primarily write fantasy (epic and urban) and horror (paranormal and survival), but I’ve dabbled in science fiction, erotica, and essays. Out of nowhere, I wrote a trans YA summer romance story. Not much has been good enough to publish yet, but I keep hoping!

 2. What is your essay for #Trans about?

My essay is about how I realized I was trans through the help of pop culture and media, specifically movies, comic books, and video games. It took me a long time to be okay with how important pop culture was to me (at least, the pop culture subgroups I enjoyed) and how it affected what I thought about my gender identity. It’s also a comment on how difficult it is to find those identities that are liminal – in between – like being bi and nonbinary.

 3. Katherine Cross describes her realization of being trans (and a feminist) as a series of 'clicks' on a keyboard in online space. What was your 'click' moment when you realized you were trans?

I didn’t have much of a click moment (though she does describe it as a series of them, and I can see that). I’m a horror writer, so it’s probably easiest for me to describe it as something like the creeping dread. There was not one moment, but many small ones, building up over time, until I could no longer deny what I was experiencing. I never noticed my feelings until I was looking back over them, drowning in them, and just couldn’t ignore them anymore. I had always felt boyish, but it wasn’t until many things fell into place that I realized I was actually trans.

4. What is your next project?

Getting fiction published! My trans YA romance is nearly ready to be shopped around, so I’m hoping that I can find an agent or a publisher who is looking for something like it. (Shameless plug: it’s an ownvoices trans boy m/m fluffy summer camp romance!) I’m also working hard on getting my dance career revived and vlogger career started. It hasn’t left as much time for writing, but I keep trying. I’m currently writing a trans epic fantasy

5. You're given a time machine. Do you go forwards or backwards in time? Why? What do you do?

Forward. Definitely forward. I want to see how humanity turns out, if we survive the coming years. More importantly, does the Earth survive us? How have we all fared, and what direction did we take? If things look good, especially for trans people, I want to stay there. If things look bad, I’d come back and see what we could do to avoid that fate (provided we don’t run into any Oedipus-like problems).

6. What is your favourite book written by a trans or nonbinary writer?

I’m a bad trans person. Admittedly, I have not yet read that many books by trans or nonbinary writers. I’m a sucker for genre fiction and I’m super picky about it. There isn’t as much written by trans people in the genres I enjoy as there are in regular fiction, non-fiction, and YA genres. I have read Elliot Wake’s (writing as Leah Raeder) Cam Girl, which has beautiful writing but just isn’t my genre. I have also read If I Was Your Girl, Some Assembly Required (which was probably the most important for me), and Rethinking Normal. I just bought Peter Darling but I haven’t started it yet. I haven’t yet read anything that has spoken to my soul, a “Yes, this,” but I have enjoyed what I’ve read so far. I have made it a priority this year to read as many trans-written books as I can, even if they aren’t my genre, so I’m actively looking for books I will hopefully enjoy.

7. What historical figure--trans or cis--would you like to have dinner with? What would you ask them, and what would you order?

These sorts of questions are so hard, lol! I tend to find history boring (unless it involves dragons or something) so I don’t really idolize any historical figures. I’ve met a few people I’ve idolized before and it’s always underwhelming (you find out they’re human, just like everyone else, with prejudices and weird habits and such). There are a few people I think I want to preserve my interior image of instead! The only person I can think of would be Anne McCaffrey. Her work changed my life and started my dragon obsession. A lot of it went over my head when I discovered it (I read my first book of hers in fifth grade), and I think a lot of her work is deeply misunderstood today. I would like to talk to her about it, about why and how she was able to sneak in gay people without being too obvious, and still have her work be taken seriously in the 60s and 70s, especially as a woman author writing science fiction (with gay people!). Since we’d likely be in Ireland or England somewhere, a good British pub sounds about right. I’m fond of Cornish pasties. It makes me incredibly sad that I never got to meet her before she passed.

8. What's one message, image, or feeling do you want people to take away from your work?

A lot of my work is about pain. Internal pain, external pain, the suffering it causes. I want people to know that pain doesn’t have to stop your life. That when you feel overwhelmed by it – no matter its source – that there is someone out there to help you, to share it, to take it away. That none of us have to suffer alone, and to reach out to those who love you when you are in pain. I know that’s hard; I have suffered a lot of emotional, psychic, and physical pain in my life. I’ve struggled with reaching out. I try to bury it, to suffer alone, to not bother anyone with it. Please, bother someone with it. It’s worth it.

9. It's Friday night and your plans fall through. What do you do instead?

Either I spend my night dutifully sewing a new dance costume while listening to a documentary on Netflix (old castles, LGBTQIA, or true crime) or I tell my guilt to go to hell and spend all night playing video games.

10. Finally, what is your social media of choice? How can people contact you?

I’m on Facebook the most, but I use that for mostly private, personal interaction with irl friends and family. Twitter is the best way to contact me otherwise, but I’m all over the Internet. I have an Instagram where I post pictures of my silly cat and weight loss progress, if that’s of any interest, or they can email me at vidrinegabriel@gmail.com or contact me through my Tumblr (though I don’t use it as much as I should).

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Thank you, Gabriel! Up next: Shawn Dorey.